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borahaerhy · 10 months

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Regime - one || myg

Summary: Everything is dull. Your job, your hobbies, your downtime: everything is just dull. That is, until your workplace is raided by the anti-capitalist organization run by the notorious Agust D.

Pairing: Ringleader!Yoongi x NewRecruit!Fem!Reader

Genre: Anti-Capitalist Gang au, Found Family, Smut, Angst

Series Warnings: anti-capitalism! mental illness, some gang violence, unaliving, smut, hella angst, drug/alcohol usage, very fowl language

Warnings: y/n uses all the self-defense, quite literally bites a chunk out of someone's hand, everyone has a gun, there are a few hostages, Yoongi kicks someone in the face, y/n very casually holds a gun to someone's head, references to y/n's childhood being... interesting (relatives' drug usage briefly mentioned), Yoongi's tries to manipulate y/n for like 2 seconds, y/n definitely has depression, someone gets murdered, Yoongi almost exclusively goes by Agust, References to Nick being hella shitty, what the fuck is going on with Kevin?

Wordcount: 3.2k

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It was odd.

The parking lot of your job being completely empty had only happened on one other occasion that you could recall; that was because it was Easter, and everyone had gone home early.

But today was different. It wasn’t a holiday, and there should have been plenty of work to get done; yet there was no one. Not a single car in the parking lot. As you drove past, you turned your attention to the side of the building, where security parked. You pulled into the space beside the empty car of one of your coworkers, Nick.

But it’s ten minutes until shift change; first shift should still be here. Did Nick let them leave early for some reason? Aside from yours and Nick's, there was only one other car in the entire lot. A black SUV parked haphazardly beside Nick's car; and it was still running.

While all of this might scream “danger” to others that would have seen it, to you, while it was weird, that's all it was: weird. It’s a relatively small company; one where there were so few employees that they were all friends. Everyone knew everyone and they often all liked to fuck with one another, maybe this was just some kind of prank.

While the company was small, it was also one that had no problem fucking over its employees when it comes to their paychecks; even whenever the company execs wanted to come in and check the place out, they certainly never would’ve listened to any complaints about pay.

You cautiously walked up to the door and punched in the pin before you opened the door and stepped in. As you closed the door behind you, you realized that you walked into something you definitely wished you hadn’t.

Tied up in the middle of the floor was the owner of the building, and the one who ran this branch of the company, Kevin, along with the guy supposed to work your shift with you, Nick. They were completely surrounded by men in black, all of them with guns pointed at the two men's heads. Kevin looked like he just got into a fight and lost; blood covering him, his nose crooked while Nick had a swollen lip. In front of them, there was just one man, but as soon as your eyes had adjusted to the dark building, all of them were looking at you.

Seconds after you walked in, your arms were pinned behind your back and a hand covered your mouth. “Just make sure she doesn’t go anywhere for a second, I have to deal with this asshole before I talk to her,”

While as a security officer, you hadn’t been formally trained in any kind of combat, you did grow up with uncles. A lot of them, and they would all get varying levels of high and various substances and decide that you needed to know how to defend yourself.

So while the man that spoke, the one standing in front of Nick and Kevin kicks Nick in the chin - no doubt knocking out a few of his teeth - you stamped down on the foot of the man behind you and bit a chunk of flesh from his hand clean off. He screamed, letting go of you so you could turn around and knee him in the groin as one of your hands took the gun out of his side holster and held it to his head.

You stood beside him, facing the group of people with one hand holding the gun to his head while the other was up, level with your head to show you weren't armed more than what they could see. You spit out the chunk of flesh that you still had in your mouth, mostly for dramatic effect, and slowly moved your free hand down to wipe the blood from your lips.

Everyone was staring at you, even the boss was staring at you with a kind of intensity that would’ve been hard for anyone to withstand. “You can finish whatever you were doing, I’m not going anywhere, I just don’t really like people touching me,” Your hand was back up next to your head, but no one moved. All the men just looked back and forth between their boss and you, and Kevin and Nick both looked like they’d just been saved.

The one that just kicked your coworker, the one you presumed to be the boss, started walking toward you. He moved slowly and carefully as he pulled each of the weapons he had on him, showed them to you carefully, before he threw them down on the ground. He pulled one last weapon from the inside of his boot, a small pocket knife, and threw it to the ground, too, as he stopped a few feet in front of you.

“I’m unarmed, and so is he. I would appreciate it if you put the gun down,” He spoke calmly, eyebrows raised and hands up. While it was hard to think of where he’d be hiding a seventeenth weapon, you also wouldn’t put it past the man that just pulled sixteen weapons off his person to have a secret compartment in the bottom of his shoe.

Your eyes narrowed as you looked at him, his face covered with a ski-mask like the rest of them, only his eyes visible to you; dark brown pools of honey that bore into you, but they weren’t as harsh or intimidating as you would’ve thought someone like him to be. They were soft, almost gentle as they moved back and forth between yours.

“You might not be, but they are,” You looked over at the men that surrounded your coworker and boss, his gaze following yours.

“They’re not going to do anything, you’re not the target here; they are. Just put the gun down and we can talk,” You looked carefully at him, then at the people behind him, before you slowly raised the hand with a gun in it, before crouching down slightly and slid it across the ground, making sure it was well out of reach of anyone before you stood again.

“Kay, come get Mars and clean him up for me, everyone else, don’t let them move a muscle,” He was facing his men as he spoke, but turned back to you once he’d finished. “You probably know this place better than I do, so I’ll let you lead the way,” You looked over to the door to one of the conference rooms briefly, before you looked back over to him, Kay already collection Mars from off the ground beside you.

“That room there would work fine, I’ll meet you in there but I need to get my water out of my bag,” He looked you up and down skeptically, about to say something before you cut him off again. “It’s just to rinse your friends hand out of my mouth, I’ll leave the bottle out here,” He paused slightly, then nodded once, stepping toward the door you’d just referenced to. You moved slowly as you got your water from your bag, rinsing out your mouth thoroughly before you took one last gulp and swallowed it. You put the bottle back down and headed into the room.

“You can have the chair, I’ll stand,” He gestured to the only chair in the room as he leaned against the table across from you. You crossed your arms and leaned against the door.

“I’m good with standing,” He nodded briefly before he took his mask off, revealing his admittedly handsome face to you.

“My name is Agust, I’m the leader of the group of people out there with your coworkers. We’re here because Kevin, the owner of this branch has been stealing from his employees to pad his own pockets-”

“And why’s Nick out there?” You asked, trying not to let your anger show too much, but your not sure how successful you were judging by the look on his face.

“Nick’s here because when he pulled in, I had my guy out in the parking lot run his tags and we found him to be… a really shitty person, to put it mildly,” You swallowed thickly, feeling almost a sense of relief that your suspicions were right, and you weren’t just overthinking about him.

“Yeah, that checks out,” You nodded, looking down at your feet as you let your arms fall, sliding them into your pockets. “So why are you here? Kevin likes to fuck over his employee’s, sure, that’s shitty, but what’s in it for you?” He looked you up and down again, as if trying to gauge whether or not you were worthy of knowing this information or not.

“I’ll tell you, eventually, but I have a few questions of my own first,” He crossed his arms as he stood straighter.

“Like?”

“Your name, for starters,” You laughed slightly, extra air flying out of your nostrils as you smirked lightly and cocked your head to the side.

“Ah, so I’m supposed to believe that you had someone run Nick’s plates but not mine?” It was his turn to smirk, his head falling slightly as he nodded.

“Alright, Y/n. Let’s get really into it, then,” His demeanor changed, the once kind eyes now seemed to drop their facade, his face bore a cocky smirk and his overall presence was that of a leader. Someone calm and collected, even when his initial plan was swept off it’s feet; he still knew exactly what his next step would be. “Why are you pretending you don’t care about Kevin fucking over his employees?”

Your own attitude changes slightly as he forces you out of your facade the same way you did his. Your shoulders dropped slightly as you felt all the color drain from your face. You cleared your throat a stood up a little straighter, trying to mimic his own attitude. “Because I’d like to know a little more about you and your organization; I already knew Kevin was a piece of shit, I don’t need you, or anyone else to tell me that,”

His eyes narrowed slightly as he looked you up and down again. There was something about the way he was looking at you, as if he was trying to see into your mind, see what you were thinking. “Why would it matter who I am if I want to bring someone like him to justice?” You sighed as you changed your stance slightly as you tried to think of a way to explain.

“It matters because all you’d have to do to get me on your side is tell me what Kevin’s done, how long he’s been doing it, and what you plan to do about it; and I’d probably agree with you based purely off my emotions rather than if I actually agree with you or not. But if I know who you are, what you and your group are capable of, and what you plan on doing in the future, I can judge you based on logic; wether you’re inherently shitty or not.” A knowling smile seeps across his features, an almost proud look as he listened to you speak.

“And why would I want you to agree with me, princess?” You scoffed, although you were far from offended; knowing the game he was playing.

“I’ve seen your face and I know that you’re the leader; not to mention the chunk of DNA that belongs to your friend still wedged between my teeth, and how it got there. Either you have to find a way to get rid of me, or recruit me,” He looks impressed as he steps down from the table and takes a small step toward you.

“Let me re-introduce myself. My name is Yoongi, and I’m the leader of an anticapitalist organization. We steal from the rich, especially the ones that make a game out of fucking their employees out of the money they worked hard for. I don’t want to get rid of you, as you put it, because that’d be a waste; but I don’t want to recruit you just because you took a chunk out of one of my best man’s hands - or because you took his gun from him like it was nothing, or because I know you have plenty reason to want to fuck over the same people that have fucked you and your family,” He paused, taking another small step toward you, now standing less than a foot away from you.

“I want to recruit you because you’re scared shitless right now,” His voice was much lower, a serious tone filling the space between you as the smirk was gone from his face. “You still don’t know if I have a weapon on me, or if I’m going to let you out of here alive, or if we’ve hurt any of your friends or coworkers. But here you stand, speaking to me as confidently as someone that knows they’re more powerful than me,” His eyes bore into yours as if he could see your entire life laid out on a platter with just one glance.

“So, Y/n,” He took a step back, arms crossed over his chest confidently as he looked at you almost sweetly. “You’re not who we were after, and I don’t find you to be a threat to us. So, you’re free to go, if you want. You don’t have to worry about us following you or keeping tabs on you; you can just go home, go on with your life and forget this ever happened.” He paused, looking you up and down. "Or,” He leaned back against the table, one leg crossed over the other.

“You can come with us,” You stood silently for a moment, eyes only leaving Yoongi when he finished speaking. You pushed yourself from the door and took a few steps over to the window and looked out of it, taking in the world as you had been seeing it for the past several months, before you closed your eyes, drinking in the inky black that the cover that your eyelids provide.

You’d noticed that everything looks different throughout different phases of my life; as if there are filters over your eyes that change the colors and shadows in accordance to how you’re feeling. Some memories are all cool-toned, some warm. Some memories look yellowed, like they’d been tea-stained while others seemed more vibrant and vivid than anything else you’d ever seen.

For the past couple of months, everything’s been dull. The world’s almost been in grey-scale as you try to find a purpose; try to find something to do with yourself. Nothing looks or feels like it used to; but for the first time in months, you are scared. You’re terrified. You smile as you relish in the feeling, the first true, raw emotion you’d felt in months.

When you open your eyes, there’s color in the world again. The trees dance in the wind with various shades of red and orange and brown; the sky beyond them littered with soft purple hues as the sun was already beginning to set into the autumn sky.

“What happens if I decide to go with you?” You turn to look at him as you finish speaking, a light smirk on his lips before he turns to face you.

“You come back to our base with us, we show you around, show you the ropes, and figure out how you’d best assist us. Then, if you decide you want to leave, you can. If you still want to have your job here and go back to your home and just help us out on the weekends, you can. You can also live with us and work with us full-time; but no matter what, I’d be sending you home tonight. This is something you need to think over.” You nodded again, still trying to take everything in.

“And as far as Kevin goes, I’ll tell you whatever you want to know,” You shook your head and raised your hands, stopping him from saying anything further.

“I don’t want to know anything about what he did,” Yoongi nodded as he looked at you almost empathetically. “But, I’ll uhm, I’ll go with you,” His facial expression softened lightly as he smiled at you.

Your relief very quickly changed when he reached behind his back and pulled out yet another gun and out the barrel right next to your head and pulled the trigger, shooting through the wall behind you. The sound was deafening but you didn’t flinch, your eyes never leaving his as his smirk grew wider yet.

“Wait here, Princess. I’ll come back to get you in a few minutes,” He pulled the mask back down over his face before he opened the door and stepped out, all eyes suddenly on him. “She had a real fucking mouth on her, didn’t she?” Yoongi sauntered back over to where his captives were tied up, gun casually swinging in his grasp as he walks.

“Kept talking about her mom; something about her still being alive if only she’d gotten her benefits like she was supposed to,” He kneeled down in front of Kevin, using the barrel of the gun to point at him. “That sound familiar to you, Kev?” Kevin was shaking, eyes wide as they bounced back and forth between the gun and Agust, who was only smirking at the terrified face of his captive.

“Cat got your tongue? Nick?” At his lack of response, Agust moved the gun from Kevin to Nick, the barrel now only inches from his head. “Do you know anything about that?” Nick shook his head wildly, eyes clenched shut as tears spilled out of them.

It pissed him off how scared they acted. He had a gun to their heads and they just bawled like babies; as if they hadn’t done the same thing time and time again to others. Kevin took money away from people that needed it. Money that he definitely didn’t need; and in doing so, he took away not only financial stability, but the lives of the people that depended on that money.

And while Nick didn’t steal from the poor like Kevin did, that didn’t make him any less of a piece of shit. He’d been accused of many crimes in his life; including attempted manslaughter, statutory rape, and several different domestic violence charges, but he’d never been convicted of any of them. There was never even a trial, just complaints dropped the day after they were filed, along with several very large transactions coming out of his obscenely rich father’s bank account.

So watching them sit here and sob when their lives were threatened, knowing fully that they’ve put others in this very situation with their greed and ignorance enraged him. August pressed the gun to Nick’s temple and pulled the trigger, blood spraying all over Kevin's face in the process.

Kevin screamed, loud sobs filling the warehouse that only pissed him off more. “Shut up, would you?” The gun was back under Kevin’s chin, his sobs silencing almost instantly as the gun forced him to look up. “I’m not going to kill you,” He took his time pulling the gun away from Kevin, eventually putting it into the waistband of his jeans before he carefully stood, his gaze already on the door you were behind as his men pulled Kevin up and dragged him out to their car. “Not yet, anyway.”

Taglist: @scuzmunkie @bangtan4everr @angrydonutzonkpickle @secfir @useryoonmin @idkjustlovingbts

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demiromanticmickey · 4 months

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On today's "I am SO not normal about Dead Friend Forever": Discussing Catholicism and Colonization in this gay Thai slasher series

Some background on me: I am from a Latine Catholic family. Raised as a non-practicing Catholic (we didn't go to church or pray). Then my parents enrolled me in a Catholic school that I attended from 5th grade to the end of 7th grade. Today, I am not Catholic and have never really considered myself as such.

Ok, so in the flashback episodes of DFF, I have been noticing a lot of things. My findings under the cut.

Let's start with this crucifix and photo of the Virgin Mary and a baby Jesus.

Screenshot from ep. 5.

The camera lingers here a bit so we're obviously meant to pay attention to the phrase. I put the screenshot through Google translate's image translator and the translation it gave me was, "Think good, do good, be a good person." I didn't think much of it when I first watched the episode other than it was supposed to establish that the boys attend a Christian or Catholic school.

But then there was this image posted on Be On Cloud's Instagram (also from ep. 5): X

Zooming in, we can see there's another picture of Mary in the background. Watching the classroom scenes, it's easy to miss because the series itself is more washed out than the official photos posted. But this emphasis on Mary led me to believe the school is a Catholic one. So out of curiosity, I looked up the schools the writers and directors attended because I felt I was onto something here. And boy, was I!

Source: MDL

Ma-Deaw, if you didn't know, is one of the directors of Dead Friend Forever (he also directed Manner of Death and Inhuman Kiss , and lots of other things).

One Google search later (X) and I learned "Montfort College" is a Catholic school. It started out as a primary school that later added a secondary school as well.

Now let's take a closer look at some of the details of this school:

First, the school's motto "Labor Conquers All Things". This reminded me of the phone conversation Tee had with his uncle:

On my first watch, this sounded familiar to me but I couldn't really place why. It wasn't until I saw this other Tumblr post (X) that pointed out it's similar to a bible quote from the New Testament. The quote varies a bit depending on which version of the bible you're using but it's along the lines of, "He who does not work, neither shall he eat".

This is meant to discourage "laziness". Nevermind the fact that people deserve to eat simply because we get hungry and need food to survive. The idea that we only "deserve" things based on productivity is an extremely colonial one. — Reminder also that Tee is being forced into this "work" in the first place. He's just a high school kid. I don't need to like his character to understand how fucked up his situation is.

Then there's the patron of the school. St. Louis de Montfort was a French Catholic priest most known for his study in Mariology. What is Mariology (X)? The study of Mary, the mother of Jesus. I didn't know that was a thing but it's unsurprising considering how prominent images of Mary were in my own religious upbringing. And she's what started me down this rabbit hole in the first place. Mary is a big deal to the Catholics. I'm going to be paying even more attention now if more Mary imagery pops up.

The Garden of Eden and Original Sin

Now I want to draw attention to these images:

Screenshots from ep. 7

Here we have Non and Phee biting into an apple as they leisure around this lush green field. We know they've visited this location more than once because they're wearing different outfits in the screenshots. And I think it's important to note that it's Phee holding the apple and offering it to Non.

The use of the word "bait" in the bts of ep. 7 is quite interesting too. (X)

The Garden of Eden was the paradise in which Adam and Eve resided. In this garden, there were many trees to eat from. The one tree Adam and Eve were forbidden by God to eat from was the Tree of Knowledge. A serpent (Satan), first tempted Eve into taking from the tree to eat it's fruit. And then Eve gave the fruit to Adam. That is Original Sin. And because Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge, all humans thereafter are born sinful and bad, and can only find salvation through God.

Of course in the scene between Phee and Non, the sin the apple represents is being gay. And it's after this, and after the bracelet scene, that Non becomes involved with Por's film and his tragedy begins.

Zoomed in screenshot from ep. 5

And I wonder if the bracelet scene is the last time Phee and Non visit this forest location. It would parallel how Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden once they sinned.

Final Thoughts

You give me a story that criticizes Western religion and how it's used as a tool for oppression and colonization, and I'm gonna eat that shit up. I am gonna eat it up. Every. Single. Time.

I really wasn't expecting anything like this from Dead Friend Forever. This level in attention to detail is unmatched. I don't think I've watched a more well planned out show. And no matter where DFF goes from here, these seven episodes will always hold a special place in my heart. 💗

#dead friend forever #dff the series #pheenon #barcode tinnasit #ta nannakun #dff meta #dff spoilers #tabarcode #dff*#*#i just love it here #this is my comfort show idc

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down-in-the-rainbow-square · 1 year

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Hi, i just like to say that i loved the concept of welcome home- housemates. And i was wondering if you can do more of it? Or maybe make ut into a series? But i hope y oh you have a good day/niget/aftternoon 👍

Drink your food and wat your water t and getyour pre-sleep-nap in bbye

(Sowry for spling mstakes i tird and it 3am)

Welcome Home x Reader - Housemates (Pt. 2)

(Part 1)

Hello! You're lucky, I just got my pre-sleep nap in yesterday! Sounds like you need a bit of a reminder for a nap yourself, though, haha! Anyways, the person who requested the previous installment of this series also asked if I could continue it, so here it is! Lowkey this reminds me of that AU I've seen floating around of the Welcome Home crew meeting an ex-Playfellow worker.

Also, I changed Eddie's colour to orange to keep him unique from Sally.

Not proofread!

Words: 2685

Type: Fic, platonic

Tw: Death mention, murder mention, gore mention, swearing

You sat on the couch in your living room, scissors still in hand. You said nothing. Looking around you, eight puppets of varying sizes and variety stood before you, all staring back. The smallest was a yellow puppet with a spiraled blue pompadour. The tallest was a mostly-red-partly-rainbow bird... Thing (you couldn't quite make out what she was supposed to be), whose neck was forced to bend down just to fit in the house. And by far the largest was a giant blue beagle dog that wore a vest and stood on its hind legs.

The puppets stared at you with varying degrees of nervousness. The bird was probably the most nervous considering she was actively shivering looking between you and the scissors. You reckoned the least nervous was the blue pompadour puppet, but it was hard to tell since he had the same dazed smile he had since you first saw him.

The puppet in the middle - about five feet, yellow with orange hair, wore a mailman's uniform - raised his hands. He was the one who had coaxed you to the couch, and the one you recognised as the voice that had spoken to you when you were under the bed. It was quite the ordeal getting you to the couch, actually. Involved a lot of screaming.

The puppet took a deep breath and spoke. "So," he said, "we obviously are not from here."

"Yeah, I guessed that," you replied, gritting your teeth. Your eyebrows were furrowed, and your mouth turned down into a deep frown. Truth be told, you were really scared. But you thought it was best to assert dominance in this situation.

"And we would really appreciate your help in getting back home," he continued. "We- we don't know how we got here yet, or what this world is, but we just want to go back to Home. Please."

You stared at the puppet. He looked you dead in the eye before glancing down and away, fiddling with his three-fingered hands. Next to him, a grey puppet with dark blue hair and a black unibrow sighed and took a small step forward. They stepped back as you grabbed your scissors tightly.

"We can't tell you why we're here of all places, or why it's us," they said. "Frankly, we barely remember anything at all. This world is... Strange. First of all, there's the lack of colour in the nature - have you ever seen so much green and brown? Secondly, there's you; I don't know what you are, but you're clearly not one of us. But you're intelligent nonetheless, and that's frankly quite scary."

You crossed your arms and leaned back. "Why should I help you?" you asked. "You could be murderers, vicious monsters that will tear me from limb to limb. Why should I trust you?"

"Don't you have any compassion?" another voice called. Looking to the source, you saw the yellow creature you had spotted in the stairwell earlier. Now you knew she was some sort of star puppet, and quite a short one at that. "We are from a distant land; one far beyond your wildest imagination. We come from a land of wonder and peace, now ripped from our grip and tossed away who knows where! And we come to you for support, for help, and yet you toss us aside like nothing! Where is your humanity?!"

You paused. "Wow, you sure are theatrical," you replied. The puppet huffed and crossed her arms. You sighed and leaned back into the soft red cushion of the couch, hand pinching the bridge of your nose. You sighed, "will you even tell me who you are?"

"Well, I'm Barnaby." You looked up to see the dog puppet talking to you, hand - or paw - resting on his chest. He pointed to the bird on his right. "And this is Poppy, and next to her is Frank." He pointed to the one with the monobrow. "And then there's Eddie, Wally, and Julie," he said, motioning to the yellow mailman, the blue pompadour puppet, and another puppet with ridiculously long blonde hair and a bell-shaped red dress. Next, he motioned to the star puppet and the green puppet you recognised a the one you saw outside your front door. "And that's Sally and Howdy."

"Okay, well, I'm Y/N," you responded. "And I'm a human, in case you didn't know."

"But I'm a human," Wally stated. "Are you sure you're a human?"

You looked at the puppet confused. "What? Yes, I'm a human. You're a puppet."

Wally stared at you before replying, "am I a puppet?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake."

"Okay, let's move on!" Howdy exclaimed, rushing to put a barrier between the two of you with his arms. "Anyway, there's one neighbour we haven't mentioned." You raised an eyebrow.

"And who would that be?" you asked. Suddenly, the floor lamp turned on. "Oh, right. So, is that like, a ghost or something?"

"Nope! That would be our very own Home," Barnaby explained.

You scoffed, "what, like a house? You're telling me a house possessed my house?"

The group paused.

"Well, I'm not quite sure what else to tell you," Frank deadpanned.

"Bloody hell," you groaned. Standing up, you began to pace around the living room, trying to take all the new information in. "Alright, so, there's eight puppets and a house in my house. Or eight puppets in my house and a house possessing my house - I don't know. And these eight puppets and one house expect me to magically send them back home to... Where do you live again?"

"Home," Frank answered.

"Right, Home. Uh, so you expect me to take you home to Home despite me having no knowledge of what or where that even is." You put your hands to your face and sighed. "You know, this was supposed to be my mental health break today. I'm supposed to be eating popcorn and watching Dirty Dancing, not dealing with this."

The group didn't say anything. Looking at them, you saw none of them wanted to meet your gaze. Each puppet looked elsewhere; either out the window, at the roof, or admiring the old school furniture cluttering up your living room.

Suddenly, you were sparked with an idea. Hurrying to the back of the house, you opened one of the many dark wooden doors and entered your study. The room was lined with a variety of colourful wooden bookshelves filled with a vast collection of books and other knick-knacks. Facing away from the window was your main desk, featuring a pen cup, a stack of paper, and a typewriter. And lining the walls were several maps, a bin full of other rolled up ones below it.

Hurrying over to the wall, you ripped the maps off the Blu tack holding them to the wallpaper. Also taking the bin of leftover maps in your hand, you speed walked out the door and back to the lounge room. Dropping most of the maps to the floor, you spread the world map out on the coffee table.

"Okay, this is the map of this world. Do you recognise anything?" You said. The puppets crowded around the table, a little too close to you for comfort. Frank leaned down and dragged his index finger over the map, stopping every once in a while to read the names of the countries. Eventually, he straightened up and spoke.

"No," he said.

"Are you sure?" you asked.

"I'm sure."

"Are you sure you're sure?"

"I'm certain." He furrowed his eyebrow slightly.

You sighed, "well, I'm out of ideas then."

The group shared a worried look before staring at you. Howdy opened his mouth to speak, but quickly shut it. Julie played with her hair while Eddie adjusted his tie. Finally, Eddie stepped forward.

"Can we please stay for the night, then?" he asked. "It's just- we have nowhere to go."

You looked at Eddie. He seemed... Genuine. The way he gripped his hat in his hands and held it to his chest reminded you of the period dramas you watched on television. You noticed him fiddling with the brim of his hat every so often and adverting his gaze for just a moment. Looking at the others, you could see the worry in their eyes. Sally, who you had assumed to always be loud, was silent. And Howdy had his many hands behind his back and looked out the window. Even Wally, who seemed to be perfectly content, had a vibe about him and a look in his eyes that spoke otherwise.

You couldn't believe you were about to say this. "Fine. I'll let you stay. But this is my house, and you have to follow my rules, got it?"

"Really?" Julie exclaimed, jumping up onto her tiptoes and interlocking her fingers in front of her. "Thank you!" She ran the short distance between the two of you and enveloped you in a tight hug.

"Hey!" you yelled, pushing her off.

"Sorry," she replied.

"Anyway, you got what I said? My house, my rules. And that goes for you two, house that's possessing this place. I don't care what you are, you're doing as I say until I can get you out of here." You pointed a finger at the roof. You got a cacophony of creaks in response.

"He agrees," Wally said. You gave him a confused look before quickly brushing it off.

"So, what do we do first?" Julie asked. "Cooking, baking, gardening? Oh, we could even play a game of tag!"

"No! No, no, no. No games, no cooking, no gardening, no nothing. We need to work out where you're going to sleep, first of all." You waved your hands in front of you. "I only have two beds and two mattresses, and there's eight of you. Three of you are going to have to take the shed."

"The shed? My feathers!" Poppy shivered.

"Don't worry, it's not that bad," you replied. "Just follow me and I'll show you."

Walking out of the lounge room and into the kitchen, you headed out the back door into the yard. Instantly, you were hit with the fresh air of the countryside: oxygen with a hint of pine and wildflowers. Looking out over your vast expanse of land, you took in the sight of the bright green blades of grass bordered by tall middle growth conifer trees. Almost immediately, you felt relaxed.

Stepping down the concrete steps and onto the steppingstone path, you walked around to the side of the house. You brushed your hands against the white wooden exterior of the house, taking in the feel of the chipping paint and wood. Behind you, you heard the sounds of the group of puppets making their way out the door and talking.

Finally, you came to the front of the shed. It wasn't quite the size of your house, but could constitute as a small one, nonetheless. The wavy metal roof combined with the metal sheets of the walls made quite the start contrast to your rustic farmhouse. There were few windows, and what ones there were were high up and small. Flowering shrubs dotted the outside, bringing a bit of colour to the otherwise grey building.

You turned around to face the puppets, saying, "voila! Isn't she a beauty? Stainless steel, insulated, cost me a fortune to build."

The group stepped forward towards the building. Heading to the door first was Poppy, who gripped the door handle with her wing and slowly opened the door. Ducking her head inside, she gasped.

"My feathers!" she exclaimed.

Pushing her way past Poppy was Sally, who also gasped when she saw the inside. "It's so dusty!" she yelled - and sneezed.

"It's a little cluttered, yeah, but I make good use of it." You walked over to the shed entrance. "I store all my old stuff in here. Better than getting rid of it."

Squeezing your way past Poppy's mound of feathers, you stepped inside the building. Inside, each inch of the floor and walls were taken over by boxes and furniture. Everything was retro, from old floral print couches to tacky ceramic animal-themed salt and pepper shakers stored on the shelves. And Sally wasn't wrong; it was covered in dust.

"Who is supposed to sleep in here?" Frank asked, a hint of fear in his voice.

"Not it!" Sally yelled, quickly followed by Julie, both of them putting their fingers to their noses.

"Not me, either," Frank said, repeating the action.

"Or me." Barnaby followed suit.

"I'd prefer not to, sorry," Eddie apologised as he put his whole hand to his nose.

You were a little offended, to say the least. "Well," you began, "I guess that just leaves you guys." You motioned to Wally, Howdy, and Poppy.

"But I don't want to stay in here," Wally said, still somehow smiling.

Barnaby shrugged. "Sorry, bud, but you didn't say 'not it' quick enough."

"Oh..." Wally looked down.

You watched as Howdy walked around the shed. He leaned down every now and then to wipe some dust off the furniture. He turned around to face you with a smile on his face.

"This isn't so bad!" he said. "If we were to just..." He lifted up one of the boxes and stacked it on another. "See? Already making progress!"

"Oh, I know! Why don't we make this a game?" Julie suggested. "Whoever can clean up their area first wins!"

"Julie, I'm not quite sure that cleaning counts as a game-"

"I'm in!" Sally yelled, cutting Frank off. She ran over to one of the boxes labelled 'Grandma's clothes' and picked it up, stacking it on top of another box in the corner. She then repeated the process, jumping over chairs and around shelves to get where she wanted.

Barnaby laughed, "don't leave me out of this!" Walking over to a stack of three large boxes in the corner, he leaned down and picked them up with his paws like it was nothing. Walking over to the corner where Sally had dropped her boxes, he placed them down.

"Hey!" Sally called out. "No fair! I can't pick up that many boxes at once!"

Soon the whole group was in on the game, picking up boxes and moving furniture to the sides of the room. You watched from the door as they hurried to get the most boxes down. Barnaby and Howdy had the clear advantage with their strength and Howdy's extra arms. It occurred to you that you hadn't even asked him why he had those in the first place, or why there was yellow and orange antennae on either side of his forehead. Perhaps he was a bug.

Eventually, you were so lost in thought you didn't even notice the group of puppets standing in front of you with wide smiles on their faces. They each high-fived one another (or low-fived, in the case of Barnaby, Howdy, and Poppy meeting the others). It was only when your gaze drifted to Julie's flapping arms did you snap out of your trance.

"Uh- what?" you stammered. Looking around the shed, you saw they really had cleaned the place out. The room looked... Nice, for a change. Now, normally you took pride in the shed either way, but that was more based on collection rather than presentation. But now, with the sofas set up facing each other, shelving units used as room dividers and boxes stacked neatly in the corner the space looking liveable.

"What do you think?" Julie asked.

You paused. "It looks... It looks good."

The group looked around at each other and smiled. Howdy patted those closest to him on the back. You looked down at your watch; it was only eleven in the morning. You still had plenty of time left in the day.

"Well, um, I'm probably going to go scroll through social media now," you said, turning to walk out the door. "Don't cause a mess, or I will kill you." You walked out of the shed, shutting the door behind you.

I will make a part 3 to this! Hold tight!

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ticklishraspberries · 8 months

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False Belief (Inej/Kaz)

Summary: Nina asks Kaz a question, and receives an inconslusive answer. Therefore, Inej investiages. (Written for Day #9, "Lie" of Tickletober!! Hope you enjoy!!)

It’s a rare night of calm at The Slat, the six of them sat around a table, drinking and relishing in a heist well done. It had been just a minor job, but even small victories deserve celebration, right?

Inej sits cross-legged on the bar, her braid loose and a gleaming smile. She nurses a glass in her hand, watching her friends fondly.

They’re all a few drinks in, and varying levels of intoxicated. Jesper and Wylan both are more drunk than just tipsy, and by some series of events, they’ve ended up on the floor.

Jesper is laughing maniacally as he tickles Wylan’s sides, leaving the merchant a giggling mess.

The others don’t pay them much mind, used to their sappy, public displays of affection. Kaz, trying to ignore them, starts talking to Inej about some political official he wanted her to keep an eye on when Nina interrupts.

She’s far from sober, flushed cheeks and giddy smile as she leans over the table and asks, “Are you ticklish, Kaz?”

Jesper has finally let Wylan breathe, and the sound of his panting is the only noise in the room. Kaz turns to her with an annoyed expression, but even he has indulged in more fun than usual this evening, and so the urge to hit her with his cane is severely dampened.

“Don’t be stupid,” he replies. “I grew out of that.”

Everyone looks expectantly between him and Nina.

“Well, his heartbeat stayed the same,” she says with a shrug. “He believes that’s the case.”

“Of course it’s the case,” he snaps. “Regardless, I’d kill you before you laid a hand on me, Zenik.”

Nina rolls her eyes. “Alright, Brekker, relax.” (She doesn’t mention that his heart indicates that his threat is, in fact, a lie. She’s oddly touched that he doesn’t hold much murderous rage towards her, deep down.)

Jesper laughs, stumbling back into his seat. “Don’t worry, boss. I’ll stick to tormenting Wylan,” he says with a wink.

“You do that,” Kaz says, aiming to sound grossed out and instead sounding just the tiniest bit amused, and maybe even a little bit fond.

The conversation shifts on, but Inej is still thinking about Nina’s words. She didn’t say that Kaz was telling the truth: She said that he believed it to be true. She supposes that makes sense—if you don’t know something to be true or false, then how could you lie about it?

As the night winds down, she watches as Kaz limps up the stairs to his room, his cane thudding with each step. It isn’t long before they all call it quits for the evening, and Inej returns to her own room, distracted from sleep by curiosity.

The last few months, Kaz has gotten better with the whole touch thing. Inej is proud of him, although he’d scoff at her if she voiced it out loud. They’ve held hands, hugged a few times, and even kissed on the lips once. It isn’t an easy journey, for either of them, but they’re working on it. She wonders if Kaz would let her touch him like that, to prove his answer.

She thinks about his smile, his laugh. How wonderful it would feel to be the cause of it, not just with her jokes but with her touch, an intimate and sacred thing that only she was allowed to do with him.

Inej falls asleep with a plan in mind.

***

Kaz is sitting at his desk, eyes fixed on the piles of paperwork before him. However, his mind is anywhere but, as it so often is when Inej sits on the sill of his window. Although she mostly stays quiet, her mere presence is distracting, but he assures her that it isn’t.

Now that they have made their first steps in touching one another, Kaz finds himself wanting it all the time. Even on days where the water creeps in, he longs to just get over it and embrace her, to find comfort in her embrace rather than be driven to panic by it. ‘One day,’ her voice whispers in his head, always kind, always understanding.

What is mainly distracting him today is the fact that she has a feather in her hands. It’s a costume feather, probably plucked off of one of Jesper’s ridiculous hats—a bright purple color, long and wispy, and she won’t stop twirling it in her fingers.

His gaze is pulled towards her, over and over again, and this time, she catches him, locking eyes. His ears burn. Inej grins.

“Are you sure I’m not bothering you?” she asks.

Kaz clears his throat. “Of course not.”

If Nina were here, she would call out his lie, but he suspects that Inej can tell, simply because she knows him so well. Lying is something Kaz prides himself on, knows he is good at, can’t afford to fuck up. Being a thief, a conman, whatever, means embellishing and omitting details, becoming another person, convincing even the smartest people of his tricks.

Inej sees right through his acts, and it should infuriate him, but it mostly makes him feel giddy. That Inej, sweet, darling Inej cares for him enough to look through the bullshit and see him. Not Dirtyhands, the Bastard of the Barrel, not even Kaz Brekker; Inej has found Kaz Rietveld, pulled him from the waves and reminded him of softness, of love.

He’s so lost in thought, blankly looking at his papers, that he doesn’t notice her hopping down from the window and making her way towards him. He only looks up when she climbs onto his desk, sitting beside him, long legs hanging over the edge, crossed at the ankles.

“You seem pretty distracted to me,” she says, smiling.

He leans back in his chair, looking up at her, returning her smile. “Perhaps I was lying.”

“Speaking of lies,” Inej says. “I’ve been wondering…”

“About?”

“What Nina asked last night.”

It isn’t the answer Kaz was expecting. Surprised, he blinks at her for a moment. “You heard her. I wasn’t lying.”

“Well, that’s not exactly what she said. She said you believed it to be true, so, maybe you just don’t know that you are. I mean, I doubt anyone has tried such a thing.”

He hates that she’s right. The question had taken him off guard when Nina posed it, but like all good liars and thieves, he’d told a smidgen of truth—he hadn’t experienced such affection since he was a child, so therefore, he had likely outgrown it. But now, with Inej’s proximity, her smile, her clear intent, he isn’t so sure.

Kaz looks down at his lap, willing the warmth in his cheeks to go away, when he feels something soft drag over his cheek, He jumps, eyes darting back to her and seeing that stupid purple feather in between her fingers.

“Why does this matter to you?” he asks, hoping to sound more annoyed than genuinely curious.

“Because I like hearing you laugh,” Inej responds simply.

And how is he supposed to say no to such a thing?

The feather dances over his jawline, beneath his chin, over the shell of his ear, and it doesn’t make him laugh, necessarily, but it turns him into a twitchy, smiling mess. He’s sure if she were to use her fingers, he would be a goner, but she’s testing her limits. He appreciates that.

“It seems like you were lying,” Inej says.

Kaz shrugs. “I suppose so.”

“You better hope Nina never asks you again, now that you know the truth.” Well, shit. He hadn’t thought of that. He can’t be bothered with that right now, because Inej has just found a sensitive spot near his collarbone that finally drew a giggle, and judging by the way her eyes light up, he was going to be there for a while longer.

#tickletober #tickletober2023 #augtickletober2023 #tickle fic #ticklefic #grishaverse tickle #grishaverse ticklefic #six of crows ticklefic #kanej #six of crows #grishaverse #raspberry writes

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larissa-the-scribe · 21 days

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Hello, since I am evil and subjected you to this ask game, I will also subject you to asks mwahahaha :))))

May I request: I'm Not Here to Make Friends >:(

*Gasps, faints* How... how dare

Anyways thanks for the ask! (from this ask game)

Info:

This is from Rifters (series 1), where Kathryn is living in a steampunk/superhero world, becoming a part of the younger-hero-training-school-place. Her stint as a superhero has made her some enemies, and her friends from that world also have enemies. One of them is trying to tear down the superhero structure from the inside out, and so, as a first step, has sent his best asset minion adopted son and secret weapon to infiltrate the hero guild place (I really need to define things) as a spy. Part of his mission is also to locate a specific hero who has no traceable identity but has been a thorn in super villain's sides ever since, uh, *checks notes* the out-of-world newcomer came in and stopped the apocalypse.

Benn (currently Eabennor) is an angsty loner teenager who is just here to DO HIS JOB and he doesn't care about anyone ever-- Especially not that Nuisance (Kathryn) who keeps following him around and trying to talk to him--he's Spying and they are his Enemies (aka this is his feral kitten era).

Snippet:

“Anything else you want to say before I slam the door in your face?” He asked—hoping his bitingly sarcastic tone and smile left her little doubt that he meant it. “What about dinner?” she asked. Eabennor stared at her, halfway between exasperated and confused. “I have no idea why you’d think I’d be interested.” Kathryn blinked. “…In eating?” “What?” “Since you just got here you have to sign up for dinner,” Kathryn explained, tilting her head. “Though I suppose you’re probably not keen on interacting with people, or not today at least.” “Oh.” “But you should still eat,” she continued, “even if you’re not interested. The food is very good here.” “Yeah, probably.” Eabennor bit back any other comments that might embarrass him further—though thankfully she seemed dumb enough to not have noticed. “Supper time is usually at 6:30,” she said, tapping her chin thoughtfully, “I’ll talk to someone in the kitchen about setting aside a plate. If you go down at 7:30-ish, it should be pretty clear, at least besides the kitchen crew cleaning up. How long that takes can vary, though, so I can’t give you a solid estimate on how long they’ll be there.” “Good to know,” he said flatly, considering the viability of carrying out his threat from earlier. This whole conversation—no, this whole day—had been a complete trainwreck, and he desperately wanted to be left alone. “Exact details for the future can be figured out later, though,” she said, smiling brightly, as if looking forward to the conversation had given her a new meaning in life—obnoxiously cheery, he thought to himself—“Matthias is the first door coming into the hallway, and I’m in the hall across the way, so if you need anything don’t hesitate to ask.” “Is that all.” “One last thing,” she added, with what he could have sworn was a mischievous glint in her eye, “I hope you have a lovely rest of your day.” Maybe it was petty, but slamming the door did turn out to be quite cathartic.

#Early Days Benn is so funny to me #I love them your honor #Kathryn is living her best life and it is definitely at Benn's expense rn #asks #scribe answers #salt and light #rifters series 1 #kathryn carvalho #eabennor bethaz

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wellntruly · 1 year

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M*A*S*H - Viewguide, Bonus Episodes

Listen, I missed some. There’s more.

Might be going back and adding these in to each of my season-by-season viewguides; still working that out. In the meantime, my caption for all of these is, “You fool!!!,” and also a bit more:

M*A*S*H - Seasons 1-11 More recommended episodes

1x17 ‘Sometimes You Hear the Bullet’ - Well your guide is me: finally including this one for reasons of maybe the only ever reference to the voice on the PA who doesn’t exist—Essential Moments. Would say your mileage may vary on the rest, but apparently everyone else loves this one, it’s just me being mixed over here! I don’t know! Love Henry in this. This is a Henry episode. To me.

2x06 ‘Kim’ - Trapper wants to adopt a 5-year-old Korean boy, if the rest of the camp doesn’t beat him to it. Margaret wears a red sweater. That’s not relevant to the plot, but she looks pretty.

2x08 ‘The Trial of Henry Blake’ - I had chosen ‘Divided We Stand’ out of the two of these in Season 2 (people from outside the 4077th looking at them and going, wait…), but in doing so deprived you of a veritable cavalcade of iconic bits, including the series’ only “fuck,” though you have to squint through the cursive.

2x14 ‘Hot Lips and Empty Arms’ - Margaret breaks up with Frank and tries to break up with the entire 4077, but they just can’t quit each other. The debut of Loretta Swit’s fucking unparalleled drunk acting. You Will Laugh.

2x19 ’The Chosen People’ - Let’s get into some pointed inter-cultural comedy! When this one started I thought, oh, this might be promising, then soon after I thought, oh no, then after that I thought, actually this is pretty interesting, the 1970s. And rollicking. I MISS SAM PAK.

3x14 ‘Private Charles Lamb’ - I inadvertently made a very interestingly haunted little pairing by having this and the next be my Season 3 bonuses.

3x24 ‘Abyssinia, Henry’ - It's historic TV. Perhaps not "good" TV, but so history.

4x07 ‘The Bus’ - Experimental episode where they strand Potter, Radar, Hawkeye, BJ, and Frank on a broken-down bus in the woods. A real oddity at this stage of the show, at times almost genuinely eerie. Only missed my original list due to Frank's whole vibe just being so shrill. Frank, huushhh hush hush, shhh.

5x01-02 ‘Bug Out, Parts 1 and 2’ - They bug out. Unusual! Hawkeye & Margaret side of affairs a bit of an ‘Aid Station’ retread, but a) you can do far worse than a Hawkeye & Margaret ‘Aid Station’ retread, and b) Potter, BJ, and Klinger are real great on the away-team.

5x14 ‘Hawk’s Nightmare’ - I mentioned this one in my S5 lede; its moment is finally here.

6x07 ‘The Light That Failed’ - They Were All So Cold, and reading a mystery novel together.

6x13 ‘Comrades In Arms, Part 1’ - Yes just Part 1. I love Part 1, and doing things like saying: just Part 1. Imagine the rest. It's what we're doing. :)

7x01 ‘Commander Pierce’ - Chain of command drama comma emotional drama comma helloooo! This is a ~Tarra Select~

7x02 ‘Peace On Us’ - What comes before Part B? Part-Ayyy! This is also somehow a joke about how this was supposed to be the first episode of Season 7 but aired second. Not sure how, but it is.

8x14 ‘Stars and Stripes’ - You haven’t met Scully yet, but no matter, this is where Scully decides to suck. The reason to watch this one is for Margaret, and Margaret & Hawkeye drinking in the O Club to their parallel unluck in love. Mr. and Mrs. 4077, Henry called them once when he had the flu. I think about that. [strangled with emotion] They’re a pair!

9x02 ‘Letters’ - They Were All So Damp

10x20 ‘Sons and Bowlers’ - You are just gonna have to IGNORE that the Margaret plot is flown straight in from Season 1, just hang on and know it has a good ending. Meanwhile: Charles & Hawkeye & Dads. I think this is one of the loveliest things this show does in its later seasons.

11x04 ‘The Joker Is Wild’ - This meanwhile is the most insane thing this show ever, ever did. By the same man who wrote 'Preventative Medicine', and the subject of my armchair psychology dissertation I swear to god, John.

11x06 ‘Bombshells’ - Actually probably the “best” episode of Season 11 I think. There's a sort of pervasive sense of loss to all of it, even the bits, that leads well to the finale.

#M*A*S*H hours

#M*A*S*H #M*A*S*H hours #viewguides #Tarra watches

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themauvesoul · 1 year

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Sometimes I feel like I am a guy trying to plug a hole in the Hoover dam with my pinky finger. Anyways. Here is what you actually need to know about paragraph length, sentence length, and the like:

Yes, the rule is TECHNICALLY that you’re supposed to start a new paragraph with each new action or thought. However. On a more basic level, a paragraph is just a group of sentences that are conveying the same idea, and there are one million ways to skin that cat. For instance, here is an excerpt from a personal essay I wrote a while back:

Here it is again:

And here it is again:

All of these are technically correct, but they read slightly different. The first one reads faster than the other two, and the ideas in the paragraph blend and bleed together a little more. The middle one is much more measured and even. And the last version reads very slowly and dramatically, with heavy emphasis on certain words and phrases. What makes these three passages read so differently is the length of the paragraphs. Readers tend to pick up the pace during long paragraphs, and slow down quite a bit when they get to shorter paragraphs. Additionally, you’ll notice that the two one-word paragraphs add a TON of emphasis to those words. This is because they’re so visually distinct AND extremely short.

The trick to formatting your paragraphs is NOT following an imprecise rule that is frequently difficult to apply to your own writing. The trick is to vary the length of your paragraphs.

This:

And this:

are both equally annoying. The version without any paragraph breaks goes on and on, and eventually you get tired of reading it. The version with TOO MANY paragraph breaks feels like it’s shouting at you, because every sentence is so important it deserves its own paragraph. Formatting paragraphs is, first and foremost, about including enough variation to keep people interested and paying attention.

And this exact same principle is true of sentence length. If you scroll back up and look at the pic where I put every sentence on its own line, you’ll notice very quickly that there’s a lot of variation there. Some sentences are one word, some are three lines long, and most fall somewhere in the middle. This is intentional. It keeps the reader engaged. If you look closely at this paragraph, you’ll see that I’m doing it in here, too.

The reason for this is identical to why varying your paragraph lengths is a good idea. Long sentences move quickly, short sentences slow the reader’s pace and add emphasis, and medium sentences keep the reader at a comfortable, easy pace. You can use long sentences to add urgency, a sense that time is moving quickly, or a level of confusion as the reader tries to decipher your six line sentence. Short sentences pack a punch. It’s the difference between a freeze frame and an establishing shot. You can use the rhythm and meter of spoken language to help out with this as well. Most people sort of instinctively vary their sentences in length, tone, and emphasis. Nobody irl is speaking to one another in a series of five-word sentences because it sounds robotic and disgusting. If you write in the natural cadence you use in spoken language, you will automatically vary your sentences enough to keep a reader interested.

One thing to note about this is that the emphasis sentence and paragraph lengths create, much like any other fun writing trick, is like cayenne pepper or salt. No emphasis is bland, but too much makes your writing inedible. Figuring out how to season your drafts is a process that you can only complete through experimentation.

This is why you patently SHOULD NOT listen to writing advice that is broad, basic, or positioned as universally applicable. Everybody has their own preferences wrt spice and salt! Two people can look at an identical work of art, and can very easily get into an argument online about whether it’s bland or over seasoned, because they fundamentally have different standards. The best way to improve your writing is to learn how and why the tools in your toolkit work, experiment with them, and show other people the results.

#anyways. can u tell my number one pet peeve is generalized writing advice online #that presents itself as universal. but is largely a matter of personal taste.

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mermaidsirennikita · 10 months

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ARC Review: Twisted Secrets by Katee Robert

3/5. Re-releases 9/26/2023.

Vibes: (light) mafia, hard-nosed single mom, enemies to lovers with actual stakes, and immediate action (in every sense).

Olivia has been burned, multiple times, by her mafia family. She's determined to keep her daughter as safe as possible. So despite her eagerness to indulge in a no-strings relationship with Cillian O'Malley, she knows she shouldn't. She shouldn't! She really shouldn't. But Cillian is deeper than he seems, and she can't quite resist their immediate connection...

I think Katee Robert is a talented writer, but she is a bit hit or miss for me. I'm starting to figure out what works for me with regards to work and what doesn't--this wasn't quite a hit. But I see why this series is popular, and if you're looking for something on the gentler side of mafia romances (I wouldn't personally call this dark romance based on the hero) this could really work for you.

Quick Takes:

--I do appreciate that Katee's books often jump right into the action, both in terms of the sex and in terms of the story. Cillian and Olivia don't waste any time dancing around each other. They're immediately about it, and they hook up quickly. It's a real "bang first, get feelings later" book, which is a device I'm vocal about loving.

As someone who isn't a huge fan of the single parent romance (and I can't say this book changed that, but Katee was very restrained on the kid factor, so good job there) I did like that Olivia didn't magically become a flawless person because she was a mom. She's young. She makes impulsive decisions. She has desires beyond her child. That child does come first, but being a mom isn't Olivia's only identity. She was a likable heroine, and I got her.

--Cillian is... sweet. Yes, he's connected, yes, he's dangerous I suppose, but emotionally he's sweet and concerned about things like consent and making Olivia feel safe and checking in and so on and so on and so on. I'm realizing... that isn't really what I'm looking for in mafia romances (to be clear, I'm pretty sure that the mafia families throughout this series are Irish and Russian, which--different vibes from mafia mafia, but very much organized crime). That's not on Katee. It's personal preference. I just like my mafia heroes to be kinda the worst. They soften for their heroines, but they aren't immediately as civilized as Cillian.

To be fair, Cillian is dealing with some pretty clear PTSD and survivor's guilt and general fallout from a traumatic event. I just think that by setting this story after that event happens, you're removed a bit from a lot of potential tension. This is a guy who perhaps was worse in the past, and now he's trying to be better, and that's lovely, but... it just didn't really work for me. If you want someone who is theoretically bad but doesn't actually feel bad, this is a hero for you. I just would've preferred him to be rougher around the edges.

--For me, I think Katee works best in a heightened world where she goes for it a bit more (like her Bargain with a Demon series, or perhaps the Wicked Villains series). This felt restrained, which is not what I want in a mafia book. Now, if you don't read or like mafia books generally, this may not feel restrained at all. But when I compare it to my favorite mafia romances, it kind of does.

The Sex Stuff:

There are a solid amount of sex scenes in this book, and they're good and varied and satisfying. It's Katee Robert--she can write a sex scene. Because I wasn't really connecting with Cillian as a hero, I think they didn't super hit in my case. But they were good!

This is another case of "not quite dark enough" mafia romance for me. However, as I've been stressing... this could totally work for SO many people, and this is a re-release of a popular novel. So it has! Try it out if you'd like to try this genre, with a less insane, less mean hero.

Thanks to Forever and Netgalley for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

#romance novel blogging #arc reviews #book reviews #books #netgalley

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meowmageddon · 10 months

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August Reading Check-In!

Is it a little late? Yes, mind your business 😹

I want to move my bookish updates back here since I'm not about training Elon Musk's AI. This update is gonna be a mix of mini-reviews, the current reading list, recent acquisitions, and a few upcoming releases to watch out for.

It's gonna be long, so keep reading if you dare. Or jump around to the bits you like!

Mini Reviews for July's Reads

Black Ghost of Empire by Kris Manjapra - 5 stars

A look at slavery and the emancipation processes across North America and the Caribbean in particular, as well as some of the colonization of Africa itself. Examines the way emancipations prioritized compensating slave-owners for lost "property" rather than restoring justice and reciprocity to the enslaved people who lost their labor, lives, and histories. Super informative, super vital, because they didn't teach this in US history. Just be prepared for an emotionally tough read.

The Veiled Throne by Ken Liu (The Dandelion Dynasty #3) - 3 stars

This is where the series finally ran into pacing issues for me, as many multi-POV epic fantasy series do. Mostly in the latter half. We had a very high-stakes storyline getting a slim chapter between multiple thick chapters about an all new setting and characters with a much lighter tone. I know heavy stuff needs to be broken up, but this was more frustrating than cathartic.

I am keeping in mind that TVT is technically the first half of what was supposed to be the final book, but the trilogy became a tetralogy because a 2000-page book would be ludicrous. Still, I feel it could've been broken down further, and we really need to allow more BIPOC writers the freedom to have sweeping, several-book-long series the way white authors can.

Get In Trouble by Kelly Link - 4 stars

These stories were quite a ride. Many featured messy people, places, and things. If we're being honest, the rating could bump up to 5 stars on a reread. There's just so much to unpack, and I'd need a closer reading, like studying scripture.

Current August Reads

• Trans-Galactic Bike Ride ed. by Lydia Rogue - As the subtitle reads, it's "Feminist Bicycle Science Fiction Stories of Transgender and Nonbinary Adventurers," written by queer authors. Technically I've actually already finished reading it, but I'll post about it separately at a later time!

• Babel by R.F. Kuang - BookTube's darling about a department at Oxford dedicated to translation and working silver- and translation-based magic for the glory of the empire. Problem is, some of the students and faculty are people from places on the receiving end of the empire's injustice. Down to the last 100 pages of this one!

• Speaking Bones by Ken Liu (The Dandelion Dynasty #4) - Despite my frustrations with the third book's pacing, I wouldn't dream of DNFing the series. The world is so lush and full, and the characters endearing. But there's another 1000 pages ahead, so this'll be on Current Reads lists for a while. 💀

• Lone Women by Victor LaValle - A young woman leaves her family home in flames and seeks a new life homesteading in Montana, a mysterious trunk in tow. I read LaValle's The Ballad of Black Tom a few years back, and really needed to read more of his stuff.

• Moonshot: The Indigenous Comics Collection Vol. 1 ed. by Hope Nicholson - Was very excited to see this at the library, as I've wanted to read it for a long time. The stories vary in genre, and I believe there are illustrated stories, individual art pieces, and even a song or poem by Buffy Sainte-Marie in addition to regular comics.

Recent Acquisitions

• Loot by Tania James - I actually won this print copy in a Goodreads giveaway! This is why I encourage those who are able to enter for anything they're interested in; it can happen to YOU lmao. Anyways, it's a book about a boy in India who constructs an automaton tiger for the Sultan, only to have it seized in war by the British. He goes to England to try to retrieve it.

• Vampires of El Norte by Isabel Cañas - My August Book of the Month pick. I enjoyed her debut, The Hacienda, and look forward to this one. Described with "Vampires and vaqueros face off on the Texas-Mexico border." I've seen reviewers describe it more as magial realism/historical fiction with vampires, rather than horror, though.

Upcoming Releases

No guarantee I'll pick these up... but here's some cool stuff coming out in the next month or so!

• From A Certain Point of View: Return of the Jedi (August 29th) - Third collection of 40 short stories celebrating the 40th anniversary of Star Wars, this time inspired by elements of Return of the Jedi! I realized I still have to pick up the second collection, from The Empire Strikes Back, oh no!

• The Spirit Bares Its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White (September 5th) - YA horror featuring a trans autistic teen protagonist who can commune with the dead. He attempts to escape an arranged marriage, is sent to a Sanitorium & Finishing School, and is urged by the institution's ghosts to expose its dark secrets.

That's all for now! If you read all this... just know that I love you. 🥰

#Kitty's Reading List #long post #books #TBR #August 2023 tbr

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errorwarblesrr · 2 years

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LINK IN WIND WAKER IS APART OF DEMISE'S CURSE/HAS THE SPIRIT OF THE HERO AND HERE'S WHY

Alright I have seen A LOT of people saying he isn't. Personally I disagree. By a lot. And I have a ton of evidence to prove it. Way too much in fact. This will be a long analysis of me just going over why I believe so. I will also be debunking all the points I have seen used against this (or at least the ones I can remember) and why I think they are incorrect. Alright let's go.

Stupidly long analysis below ↓↓↓

Okay let's get this out of the way. There are about two different beliefs on what the spirit of the hero really is (which I'm not going to say which one is 'correct' that isn't what I will be discussing). Some believe it is a set of qualities in heroism. There is no reincarnation, just qualities of courage and heroism. I don't know how anyone who leans towards this side would believe he doesn't have the spirit of the hero with the immense courage and heroism that this Link displayed to the point he gets called out for charging into situations without thinking on multiple occasions. Then there are those who believe it is a spirit that reincarnates (this is what I personally believe in but that is besides the point). This is where things get bumpy and oh boy oh boy there's quite a bit to talk about.

1. Jabun and the KORL conversation

Alright honestly this is where I think most of the ideas that Link in ww is not a part of this cycle. The conversation goes like this (red is KORL and blue is Jabun):

"Well met, Hyrule King!"

"Well met indeed, Jabun. I am pleased to see that you are safe..."

"The events which we have long feared seem to have been set into motion."

"Yes. It seems Ganon has returned. There can be no other explanation."

"If you have sought me out...it must mean you have found the Hero of Time, does it not?"

"Unfortunately, that is not so."

"Then for what purpose have you come to see me?"

"The one I have brought with me has no connection to the legendary one. And yet I sense great promise in the courage that this one possesses."

"Promise? You suggest that I leave the fate of Hyrule up to mere chance?"

"I do. It is the only way."

"I see. Then I suppose it is up to the gods to deem whether his courage is true."

Jabun asks the King if he found the Hero of Time specifically. Not THE hero. Not a hero known for appearing time and time again. The one very specific hero, the Hero of Time. That's the thing, in the world of the Wind Waker there seems to be this one notion that there is one hero. They believe the Hero of Time is one hero. They believe the Hero of Time will time travel to save them just as he did in legends, which he didn't do. This is debunking that he ISN'T the Hero of Time and has no connection to the hero which is true! This is true with every Link in the series! Each of them is their OWN person that shares the hero's spirit. But this Link keeps getting mixed up with the Hero of Time because of reasons I am about to touch on in the next point.

2) "That isn't the real master sword!"

For starters this is a theory. One that I see fails to take an important factor that can not be ignored in the Wind Waker and that is the art style. I've seen people state the master sword in the Wind Waker isn't the blade because it looks different. So let's take a look at the blade from different games.

The only swords to be identical with one another is botw and ss. Every sword before that has its own design with the first three varying the most (seriously look at alttp and tell me that is the same sword). So WHY the sword from the game with the most unique art style compared to the rest is having a different design is beyond me. It's not only just that but you should know it's the art style that makes it look different because that isn't the only thing from oot that has a redesign and no I'm not talking about Ganondorf. The Hero of Time in all his depictions look EXACTLY like Link in the Wind Waker. They are practically twins. The argument that legends change over time can't even be made because the statue of him in Hyrule castle looks like an older version of ww Link instead of the Hero of Time as we know it and that could have only been built before the flood. Not to mention the sages are accurately displayed in stained glass in the castle. The sword looking different is no excuse. Also the silhouette of the Hero of Time's sword in statue more closely resembles the one in ww compared to oot.

A few more points as to why some believe the sword isn't the same is that the sword needs sages to be powered up but my counter argument is that the master sword can be inconsistent across the games. Like very inconsistent. In some games it can be upgraded to have a completely different look and then put back like it never happened. It needs different trials before needing to be pulled and the trials vary between games. In botw it can kill Link and to reach full power you need to go through trials created by Sheikah monks. The being powered by sages thing is just one of those things where the master sword is feeling funky.

Finally, one thing I'd like to point out is that the powerless version of the blade in the Wind Waker is closed off and dull just like the blade right before it is complete on Skyward Sword. It's a neat detail I couldn't help but notice!

3) The Triforce

Okay it should be established that THE TRIFORCE OF COURAGE ISN'T WHAT MAKES YOU A HERO. Some heroes don't even HAVE the triforce. Like in the Minish Cap and the two Four sword games where Link doesn't even have it. Same with Spirit Tracks since it's placed after the Wind Waker so obviously it isn't there due to the ending.

And even when it DOES make an appearance it doesn't automatically reside in the hero like how it does in Ocarina of Time after Gandorf tried using it and it split or in Twilight Princess where Link had it since birth due to his heritage and destiny. For instance in Zelda 1, Link didn't even have the triforce of courage. Instead he had to find 8 pieces of the triforce of wisdom (well doesn't THAT sound familiar) and gets the triforce of power from Ganon. In Zelda 2 only then does he get the triforce of courage after going through SIX PALACES to break the seal, facing many challenges and obstacles along the way. Then there is Link in a Link Between Worlds where he has to rescue seven sages so they can summon the triforce of courage for him. In a Link to the Past Ganon wields the full triforce and in the end Link takes to make a wish, the triforce of courage doesn't reside within him. Finally there is Breath of the Wild where Link doesn't have it all. Doesn't even get to use it. His quest has nothing to do with the relic. In fact the whole thing seems to reside in Zelda herself. And of course there is Skyward Sword but he's the first Link so of course he has to work for it and all.

Most of these guys have to work to get it. Some of these guys don't even HAVE it. Sure Link in Wind Waker had to piece it together but a triforce splitting into 8 pieces ISN'T NEW. The Hero of Time traveled back in time with the ethereal item so it SPLIT as a result. It doesn't have to do with him not being a hero. Sure the triforce can be proof that one is the hero but, it's not what makes a hero.

In fact here is what King has to say when the Triforce dwells within Link.

Proof that he is the TRUE HERO. Not a new hero. Not that he became a hero. The true hero. And it was highlighted too.

4) The Hero of Time left the timeline

Again, if you think that the Spirit of the Hero isn't literal and refers to a set of qualities then well idek why this is an issue.

As for the reincarnation party, well here we go. Yeah he left the timeline, but you know what else did? The triforce.

Now, I know that the Spirit of the Hero might not be comparable to the Triforce. However, I think his spirit isn't exactly what you would call normal. I mean when Link in Skyward Sword has his spiritual growth tested on a few occasions. His spirit is separated from his body and is transported to the silent realm, a test made by the goddesses. They don't test his physical capabilities or intelligence. Heck not even his courage, but instead his spirit. Another thing that shows it's different is the Twilight realm in TP. Everyone turns into a spirit except for Link and Zelda. It can be assumed that it is the triforce that protected them. It is stated, "He possesses the qualities of the Hero and remains a beast in the Twilight, without being transformed into a spirit." (In the Hyrule Historia page 115). This can also imply that it has something to do with the spirit of the hero, something that was brought I'm the game. This wolf form is also present in the Hero of Time.

Honestly, I think it's clear that the spirit of the hero is special. Can it coexist alongside the Child timeline like the triforce? Maybe. I think it's possible. There isn't much we know about it. However, there are a few things that can support the idea that this is possible.

One is the acceptance that Link is THE hero towards the end of the game. Another is Ganondorf referring to him as the Hero of Time reborn. In the Japanese text he says reincarnation. Ganondorf tends to be one step ahead and is very knowledgeable in the world he resides in. Only the hero can pull the master sword and he does just that. There's also another point to be touched on in the next section.

5) Chosen one

Not every Link is referred to as the Chosen one at the beginning of their games. Some of them, yes, but not all. In the Minish Cap, Link isn't even referred to as such. In a Link to the Past he pulls the master sword to prove he is the chosen one. He wasn't called by Zelda because he was the chosen one.

As for Wind Water Link, was he ever referred to as such? Well, yes actually. He may not be a part of some prophecy (which some Links don't have), but he was called "chosen one".

Gohdan, the final test for Link to prove he is worthy of pulling the master sword, a boss created BY THE GODS. Calls him chosen one both before and after the fight. And note his description, "This monstrous machine was created by the gods as a trial for the great hero." (Also his theme slaps go listen to it) (Also also his room reminds me of botw shrines, not a point since it isn't canon if they are connected but the resemblance is fascinating)

The great hero? Why not "a new hero" or "potential heroes"? If Link were to really be a random kid with absolutely no way of being connected to the hero's spirit or curse of Demise then why be referred to as such? And remember this thing is created by the gods so it should be a reliable source.

One last thing before we head to the next section, the tower of the gods may seem weird for a hero to go through, but it really isn't. Not just because other heroes go through trials to prove their worth but because the great palace in Adventure of Link holds the same purpose. A place built to test the courage of "potential heroes". The palace's origins are unclear but the purpose is pretty the same as the tower of gods in a sense. (Also tower of the gods theme is good you should listen to it)

—------------------------------------------------

Alright those are what I consider to be the bigger points and what now. Now I'm going to speedrun through small arguments that don't hold much wait.

Ready?

Go!

-"Isn't a part of the bloodline." Okay only the Hero of Time and Hero of Twilight are confirmed to be related, everyone else isn't. This statement is also a little hypocritical. Why? BECAUSE IF THIS LINK SHOULDN'T COUNT BECAUSE HE ISN'T RELATED TO THE HERO OF TIME BY BLOOD THEN NEITHER SHOULD THE ENTIRE FALLEN HERO TIMELINE. Why? BECAUSE HE'S DEAD! He wouldn't have been able to have a child in that timeline so there is a zero chance of him having a kid! This argument is honestly ridiculous because that's a lot of heroes you have to disqualify as being THE hero. And I bring this up because I have seen this WAY too many times.

-"Didn't start his journey to save Zelda" um, neither did the Hero of Twilight and there is no question about him not being the chosen one.

-"Has a family" seen this one a couple of times. Each Link is a different person, therefore each Link has a different family life. If there is one thing they all have in common is that their parents are gone by the time we play their games (which checks out for this Link). Also botw Link has a sister.

-"Claimed the spirit of the hero during his journey" or "made his own" how? Seriously. How? Apparently he "made the gods choose him", but he didn't. That was a test to see who is the hero. And how can you claim a spirit? If we are viewing this like reincarnation that makes no sense. If we view it as a set of qualities then he already possessed traits of the hero and all of the heroes go through something to get the master sword (if in their game) and most have to do something for the triforce. Demise CURSED the spirit of the hero, that's why we keep having so many Links and chosen heroes stuck in conflicts so did this kid just curse himself by making his own or claiming it? Or is this some reverse possession? Whatever it is, it's wack.

-"No hero to stop Ganondorf the first time" yeah, not the first time. The imprisoned war is the first thing that came to mind.

—------------------------------------------------

Alright I (mostly) avoided the elephant in the room. Spirit Tracks. He has no triforce or master sword. Of course not, they're all lost to the great sea. But the fact the cycle still carries on, that the curse still continues. With a new hero to show up and defeat evil, and incarnation of hate, just goes to show it's still alive and kicking in the adult timeline.

—------------------------------------------------

That's all I have on this. All of why I think he should be considered a "true hero". I know him just being a "random kid" makes him look like a badass but in truth he still is a badass! He still went to the forsaken fortress to face off Ganon, it was HIS choice to go out and save his sister, he fixed the master sword, he fixed the triforce, he slayed Ganondorf and rid him of his timeline. He still did all those things. Chosen hero or not he is still him.

#wind waker #the legend of zelda #loz #zelda lore #zelda theory #zelda analysis #zelda rant #?#link zelda #I hope this doesnt come across as mean or anything #but if you're interested please read I did spend a lot of time writing this aling with research and just thinking on this for awhile #a part of me is bitter though #of him 'not being a true hero' treated as fact #and then my thoughts get disregarded #or get told I have no evidence #so here is a long post I can link to with pretty much all my points <3 #this post will probably go nowhere #but thats okay #even if I spent awhile on it I just want my 2 cents in there #please be nice :')#seriously though sorry if this sounded agressive or mean I was just trying to put energy in there so it wouldn't be a boring read #it's a long post #any interpretation is fine really this is just self indulgent and just my view on things #honestly before I played wind waker I also believed he wasnt apart of the hero's spirit or the cycle or what not #because it was treated like fact throughout the whole community #but when I played for myself and kept thinking about the game as a whole instead of the one line by KoRL #I formed my own opinion on all of this #error rambles

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borahaerhy · 1 year

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Regime (Teaser) | myg

Pairing: Ringleader!Yoongi x Fem!Reader

Summary: Everything is dull. Your job, your hobbies, your downtime: everything is just dull. That is, until your workplace is raided by the anti-capitalist organization run by the notorious Agust D.

Series Warnings: anti-capitalism! mental illness, some gang violence, unaliving, smut, hella angst, drug/alcohol usage, very fowl language

Teaser Warnings: READER IS A BADASS, y/n uses all the self-defense, quite literally bites a chunk out of someone's hand, everyone has a gun, there are a few hostages, Yoongi kicks someone in the face, y/n very casually holds a gun to someone's head, refrences to y/n's childhood being... interesting (relatives' drug usage breifly mentioned)

Wordcount: 689

Note: I have no idea where this is gonna go, might just leave it at this, might make it a oneshot, might fuck around and make it a series I have no idea, lmk your thoughts though :)))

It was odd.

The parking lot of your job being completely empty had only happened on one other occasion that you could recall; and that was because it was Easter, and everyone had gone home early.

But today was different. It wasn’t a holiday, and there should have been plenty of work to get done; yet there was no one. Not a single car in the parking lot. As you drove past, you turned your attention to the side of the building, where the security parked. You pulled into the space beside the empty car of one of your coworkers, Nick.

While the company was small, it was also one that had no problem fucking over it’s employees when it comes to their paychecks; even whenever the company execs wanted to come in and check the place out, they certainly never would’ve listened to any complaints about pay.

Tied up in the middle of the floor was the supervisor for the building, Kevin, and the guy supposed to work your shift with you, Nick. They were completely surrounded by men in black, all with guns pointed at their heads. Kevin looked like he just got into a fight and lost; blood covering his face and his nose was crooked, while Nick had a swollen lip. In front of them there was just one man, but as soon as your eyes had adjusted to the dark building, all of them were looking at you.

While as a security officer, you hadn’t been trained in any kind of combat, you did grow up with uncles. A lot of them, and they would all get varying levels of high and various substances and decide that you needed to know how to defend yourself.

So while the man that spoke, the one standing in front of Nick and Kevin, kicks Nick in the chin - no doubt knocking out a few of his teeth - you stamped down on the foot of the man behind you and bit a chunk of flesh from his hand clean off. He screamed, letting go of you so you could turn around and knee him in the groin as one of your hands took the gun out of his side holster and held it to his head.

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arotechno · 3 years

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Jughead (2015), Issues 9-11: Discussion and Commentary

This brings us to the first arc written by Ryan North, who saw that the aroace Jughead train had left the station and simply could not resist tagging along for the ride. If you’ve followed anything about Jughead as a character at all, then you’ve probably seen many screenshots from these three issues before. It’s the Sabrina arc (that’s right, as in the teenage witch)!

I have a lot of analysis at the end of this one, so buckle up!

The gang ends up at Pop’s, as usual, where Jughead meets the shop’s new mascot, a talking burger lady. Jughead is, unsurprisingly, thrown off his game by this. After all, burgers are his one true love, but girls? He doesn’t really have an interest in them. It’s a confusing moment for him, and when his friends witness this, well… they assume he’s got a crush on her.

This is an iconic page in the “aro Jughead” canon. Here we have Betty trying really hard to be a good friend and doing what in her mind is the best for him, trying to help him through what she and the others perceive as his first crush. Jughead, meanwhile, is diving headfirst into a spiral of confusion (and later, discomfort) at the idea of having any sort of interest in another person.

I want to give my utmost respect to Ryan North for explicitly having Jughead say that he doesn’t get crushes. It’s not the only time that North does this during this arc, and I think it makes all the difference between making this awkward and relatable rather than making it seem like Jughead is being stripped of or “cured” of being aro.

Betty pushes Jughead to talk to Sabrina (the burger lady—it’s Sabrina), and after a while of running into each other day in and day out as Jughead frequents Pop’s on a regular basis, they strike up a friendship. Jughead has gotten what he wanted—to be friends with the cool burger lady—and he seems genuinely satisfied.

…But unfortunately, things do not go as planned for Jughead. The next time they see each other, Sabrina asks Jughead out. And Jughead, in true stereotypical oblivious aro fashion, agrees, without realizing until it is much, much too late that what he has just agreed to is a date. Like, a real date.

If you think about it, Jughead has probably never been asked on a real date before. And this is something I ABSOLUTELY would have done (and may still do today, if I’m completely honest with myself) as a teenager. Jughead’s immediate regret is so palpable here, and so relatable to me as an aromantic.

In his panic, Jughead turns to his friends for help. They are… not helpful. They’re trying to be helpful, sure, but whereas Jughead doesn’t really seem to want to go through with this at all, his friends are more set on giving him romantic advice (with varying degrees of usefulness). Jughead really has to go out of his way to defend himself and insists on multiple occasions that he thinks the girl in the burger costume is cool and interesting, but that he doesn’t like-like her, he doesn’t even really know her!

Unfortunately for Jughead, he ends up going on the date. And who does he call for help? His only other openly queer friend (I say openly because let’s be real with ourselves, none of those kids are cishet), Kevin Keller.

And okay, this scene with Kevin is genuinely kind of funny. You get the impression that Kevin has had a lot of practice dealing with straight bullshit, and that he’s more than a little disappointed that Jughead’s “big emergency” turned out to be something this totally mundane and not worth his time.

Ultimately, Kevin is also super not helpful, even after Jughead steals his phone in an attempt to get him to come to the table and diffuse the awkward situation Jughead has found himself in. So Jughead resorts to what I can only assume is plan Z, which is to call Archie for backup.

Only semi-related, I really love the way Ryan North writes conversations between these two. It just feels really genuine and believable. And anyway, I don’t know what Jughead was expecting, but resident himbo Archie Andrews is of no help to him, and only ends up making things a hell of a lot worse.

This leads to Sabrina rushing off to the bathroom and casting multiple spells to try to get Jughead to at least play along, if not outright fall in love with her, all of which fail spectacularly and only end up making her far angrier with him. I don’t blame her for being upset—the date was a total disaster, and right at the moment Jughead was about to be honest with her, Archie showed up and made things worse. Sabrina storms out, and vows that she’ll get revenge on Jughead for this, somehow.

All of Sabrina’s subsequent spells on Jughead also backfire. She tries to make him fail his classes, and he passes with flying colors; she tries to make him spend the whole day with resident asshole Reggie, but he ends up befriending him against all odds. She even ends up unleashing a giant eldritch horror by accident, and—well, that’s not important.

In the end, Jughead decides to make things right. He never meant to hurt Sabrina, and she seems to be in a tough spot, having just moved to town, so he brings her some food as a peace offering and explains what really happened. And Sabrina is… surprisingly receptive, in fact more receptive than Jughead’s friends were when he came to them for help, despite the fact that this is something they should already understand about him. Being upset with Jughead wasn’t doing her any favors, so Sabrina already seems to be at peace with what happened and is more than willing to forgive him and be his friend despite all that transpired between them.

This is a really great scene. There’s a nuance to it—the way Jughead acted on their date was unfair, both to Sabrina and to himself. He needed to be honest from the beginning, but instead, he just kept trying to escape. At the same time, Sabrina gets it, and it wasn’t very cool of her to try to use magic to get what she wanted, either (not that Jughead knows she did that).

Jughead helps Sabrina re-enroll in her old school and quit her job at Pop’s to move back in with her aunts, so that she can live out the rest of her teenage years the way she’s supposed to. Afterwards, Sabrina and Jughead both seem really happy, and thus volume two ends on a positive, quiet note.

I really like this arc, for the reasons I’ve already stated and more. It’s funny and awkward and endearing (I say that a lot about this series, don’t I?), and it portrays a realistic and relatable aromantic problem without it being aboutaromanticism. It’s more about Jughead being honest about his feelings and making a new friend than about Jughead being aro, even though that contextualizes the situation. A great deal of the series is about that—Jughead being honest with himself and others. In the first arc, it’s Jughead shaking off a persona of apathy. In the second, it’s Jughead being honest with Archie about their friendship and the way Archie’s behavior has been making him feel. Here, it’s about Jughead being honest about who he is at his core, and accepting it about himself—and Sabrina accepts it, too, no questions asked. Even if he never says “I’m aromantic,” the sentiment is there plain as day, and it’s a refreshing beat for the story to land on.

That said, I do have a bone to pick with this arc. There’s a line in the sand here between Zdarsky and North. In the last arc, we saw Zdarsky portray that really subtle but meaningful interaction between Archie and Jughead, in which Archie seems not only keenly aware of Jughead being aromantic—even without the word—but also tacitly supportive of him, such that he knows immediately when he’s crossed a line. Here, we see Ryan North take a bit of a step back from that, such that Archie may be aware of Jughead’s orientation but seems way too quick to assume all that’s changed the moment there’s even a sliver of possibility that Jughead has a crush. That’s the reality of having different writers stepping in to interpret the same characters in loosely connected stories like this, but it still bothers me. I prefer Zdarsky’s style of storytelling in general, but in particular I also prefer his portrayal of Archie, as much as Ryan North’s on-the-nose aro moments and undying love for Reggie make me very happy. As a whole, nobody ever stops to ask Jughead what he wants, they only tell him what they think Sabrina wants. Jughead says so himself:

I suppose one could make the argument that Jughead’s friends, or even Jughead himself, are only really aware of the asexual bit (if at all—for all we know Veronica and Reggie have no idea, for example) and that’s why they don’t only never mention aromanticism but also sometimes seem ignorant of it. It’s possible that the aro side of Jughead’s orientation is still something he doesn’t have the words for, despite it being a truth he knows about himself, and in fact I think that would have been an interesting angle to take, had this series continued beyond 15 issues. But what I have an issue with isn’t so much the fact that Jughead’s friends are unhelpful (because let’s be real, sadly a lot of us have been there), but the fact that never are they asked to apologize for pushing him to do something he so clearly didn’t want to do. Whether he or they know he’s aromantic or not, he was clearly uncomfortable with the idea of going on this date—and not just due to a lack of experience. I would have liked it had Archie, or Betty, or Kevin apologized, or even once asked him what he really wanted. Betty comes the closest, by talking it out with him in the first place, but even she still earnestly pushes him to go through with the date anyway.

Anyway, there are two arcs left for me to discuss, and frankly I’m not as enthused by either of them as I was for these past three, for a variety of reasons. The Ryan North train continues for one more arc, and then it’s on to Mark Waid and Ian Flynn’s big finish. Those two updates might come a little slower. Until then, I was going to include a compilation of Jughead looking uncomfortable, but I've only got one image slot left thanks to tumblr, so instead I leave you with this:

Same, Jughead. Huge same.

#mr. north i promise i respect you #techno's jughead reread #aro #aromantic #aro jughead #ace jughead #aroace jughead #jughead #jughead jones #jughead comics #op #long post

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felassan · 3 years

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For MELE PC gamers who are interested in mods for gay romance, this article is a detailed look at where the MELE modding community is currently at on this front (sounds promising). (Cut for length)

Mass Effect Modders Are Using Official Audio To Restore Gay Romances For Jack, Thane, Tali, And More

Modders have unearthed official, unused dialogue for seven same-sex romances in Mass Effect 2.

Four months ago, we published a story about how Mass Effect 2’s Jack was originally supposed to be pansexual, but her romance arc was made exclusive for Male Shepard due to fear of backlash from Fox News. Shortly afterwards, it was discovered that a “Brokeback Mountain” cutscene had also been animated for Jacob and Male Shep, but was cut from the final product for similar reasons. Both of these revelations hit the Mass Effect community hard, with countless fans all over the world being disappointed by the decision to remove same-sex romances from Mass Effect 2 in particular.

As it turns out, dialogue exists in the Mass Effect Legendary Edition game files pertaining to same-sex romances for both Jack and Jacob, as well as Kaidan, Ashley, Miranda, Thane, and Tali - and it looks like modders are going to use it to restore these romances in full.

“There’s dialogue present for all of these characters, yes, but I should point out two things that are very important,” Ryan ‘Audemus’ Ainsworth tells me. Ainsworth helps manage the largest Mass Effect modding community in the world, and is individually renowned for creating the A Lot Of Videos mod, which upscales every cutscene in the trilogy to 4K resolution.

“The first thing is that just because this audio is present doesn’t necessarily mean the character was intended to have a same-sex romance,” Ainsworth explains. “A lot of the time this audio gets recorded accidentally just due to the sheer volume of lines that Mark Meer/Jennifer Hale [the voices behind Shepard] had to record - it’s very easy for certain things to slip under the radar.”

Ainsworth says that the organization appears to get better with each subsequent game in the trilogy, meaning that there’s much more unused audio early on in the series. In the first game, for example, modders have dug up Mark Meer saying, “You’re interested in me? Even though we’re both women?” The point is, we have confirmation from Jack’s writer that she was originally pansexual, but just because there are audio snippets of Tali and FemShep flirting doesn’t mean the romance was consciously cut - it could have just came about from recording lots of different scenarios for each character during development. Still, it’s there to play around with if you know your way around the fan-built Mass Effect modding tool set.

Ainsworth also explains that the dialogue in the game files is present to varying degrees. For Ashley and Kaidan’s romances in the first game, everything is there, which makes the fact that Kaidan is a gay romance option two games later a bit strange - and the fact that Ashley isn’t even stranger. By the time Mass Effect 2 comes around, the romances for Thane, Jack, Miranda, Jacob, and Tali only have the dialogue for the first romance encounter - the kiss with Miranda, the initial “Siha” conversation with Thane, and Jack’s one night stand. The audio for the final romance scene with these characters does not appear to exist in the files, meaning it may never have been recorded. Still, Ainsworth sent me footage of the FemShep/Miranda romance mod from the original trilogy, where the section from 32:45 to 33:20 uses official audio found in the game files as part of the restored romance. The next scene, however, uses a technique called FOVO to generate audio/lip sync patterns from other conversations in the game.

“This was the only way to do it for Mass Effect 2 because we couldn’t add new audio,” Ainsworth says. “For Legendary Edition’s version of the mods, we can be a lot more creative with how we implement new dialogue for these scenes since we can add new audio.”

This new opportunity comes from the fact that the games have updated the Wwise audio engine to a newer version. Without getting too into technical speak, this means that the audio engine used in Legendary Edition’s versions of Mass Effect 2 and 3 allows for much better audio-related modding than ever before. For the original trilogy, Mass Effect 3 was already pretty limited in this capacity, whereas Mass Effect 2 had pretty much no modding potential for audio-related projects whatsoever. Fortunately for us, that’s changed.

All in all, this means the Mass Effect modding community is now fully able to take those official, unused game files and build full-fledged same-sex romances for Kaidan, Ashley, Jacob, Jack, Miranda, Thane, and Tali out of them. In all of these instances, at least the first romance scene will use audio that was actually recorded by Mark Meer or Jennifer Hale during development. Where necessary - for Thane and Tali, for example - modders will handle the rest of the work using the new audio functionality, but for the most part, these romances are based on legitimate assets that can still be found in the game files in Legendary Edition.

“I think the lack of LGBT representation in the Mass Effect trilogy is quite disappointing,” Ainsworth says. “Especially since, for example, you can’t get the full Paramour achievement in Legendary Edition if you play a strictly gay male Shepard. I know there are petitions to get BioWare to add in those romances for Mass Effect 2 and Kaidan’s gay romance in [the first] Mass Effect, and while it’s a shame that it doesn’t look like that’s going to end up happening, I can say that with our improved Mass Effect 2 audio modding potential, plus the fact that all of the unused same-sex romance voiceover is still present in Legendary Edition’s files, these mods are not just on the table - they’re pretty much certain to be made.

“So PC Gaymers can rejoice (that was a terrible joke, don’t print that lmao). Off the top of my head, these would be for Kaidan, Ashley, Jacob, Jack, Miranda, Thane and Tali. For some of them there isn’t enough in the files to fully restore, but we can be very clever with reusing/splicing existing lines to fill in the blanks.” [source]

#bioware #mass effect #video games #longpost #long post #lgbtq

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elysiadjarin · 3 years

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Sword and Shield 5

Tags: Bad Batch x reader (you), fem!coded, poly!relationship, multi-part series, nonhuman!reader, Echo later on

Part 4: https://elysiadjarin.tumblr.com/post/654625612928008192/sword-and-shield-4

Warnings: mentions of rough past, abuse, slavery, brief harassment.

5: Revelations

It had been months and several missions of varying success before you finally circled your way back to Coruscant and the GAR. Hunter had said that you’d needed to check back in with Commander Rex, hence the beeline he’d made for the GAR.

You’d wanted to ask if you could go say hi to the 501st, but you’d bit your tongue against the request. You didn’t know, after all, whether he had some other plan. You didn’t want to seem like you didn’t enjoy working with the Bad Batch. You did. A lot, in fact.

Your mind wandered a little as you fiddled with the strap of your bag, waiting to land and meet the Commander. You’d probably have to report to him about your integration into the team. Commander Rex had recommended it, after all, and you’d been trying your best to live up to the honor of his recommendation and try to work hard to integrate and be useful to the team.

You’d hoped, after so many missions, that you’d at least done his recommendation some justice. Commander Rex had been very kind to you, considering your past. Kind, and generous. Everyone in the 501st had. Especially after Lola Sayu.

“Shiv. Shiv.”

Your head snapped up. “Sorry!” you squeaked, shaken out of your train of thought.

Hunter raised an eyebrow. “No problem, just wanted to make sure you were ready.”

You nodded. “Yes, of course.” Slinging the bag around yourself, you gave him a sheepish smile. “Sorry, just... got distracted.”

“Bout what, Shiv?” Wrecker blundered into the cockpit, catching your last sentence. “We almost there?”

“Keep it in your bucket, we’re about to land.” Hunter rolled his eyes.

“Fine fine.” Wrecker squinted at you. “What’s up, Shiv?”

You gave him an uncertain smile. “Well... I know I’ll have to report to Commander Rex, is all. I mean, I’m not scared of him or anything,” you hurried to add, “I’m just- I’m a little nervous because I mean, you know, he was the one who recommended me to Force 99 and I- I just hope that... I mean...” You winced, chewing your lip and wishing you hadn’t blurted so much.

“Hope what?” Wrecker gave you a slight frown, eyebrows furrowed. “He won’t be mad at you, will he?”

You shook your head. “Oh- no, I don’t- I don’t think so. I just...” You glanced past his shoulder, catching sight of Crosshair standing in the doorway. “I just hope that I’ve... I’ve lived up to his recommendation,” you admitted in a small voice. “I know I’ve been- it’s been a bit of work to- to adjust, and I- I did do the kinda stupid thing on our first mission. I just- I want him to not regret recommending me, is all.”

Tech turned from his seat in front of you. “Why would he, Shiv?” he asked, voice lilting as he blinked under his goggles. “If you didn’t manage to integrate with us, that would be our fault, not yours. After all, you’ve been doing the bulk of the work. If all of your work isn’t succeeding, then it must be something we haven’t been doing to properly acclimate to you.” His statement, while clinical, made you smile despite yourself.

“Thank you, Tech,” you said shyly. “I do really, really like working with all of you. I... I don’t want to let you all down after you’ve taken a risk in welcoming me.”

Wrecker let out a bellowing laugh. “Don’t be stupid, Shiv!”

You couldn’t even be offended if you wanted to at the cheerful, utterly ingenious statement. A smile would cross your lips as you watched his animated face, his arms waving as he plowed on.

“We’re not letting you go now, not even if Rex tried! You’re one of the Bad Batch. I mean, you even got hurt for the Sarge and Tech. That’s proof right there for us.”

“Wrecker’s right,” Hunter spoke up, glancing at you briefly. “As long as you’re comfortable staying with us, then we consider you one of ours.”

You nodded, happiness lighting your chest with warmth. “Thank you. I- I really do want to continue to do my best.”

The ship landed, and you followed the others as they started to walk to the ramp. You trailed a little behind, the nervousness a little alleviated thanks to the others’ words, but still trying to mull over what you’d say to the Commander. Used to being the last one in line, it surprised you a little when Tech dropped back to walk beside you.

“Are you feeling alright?” he asked, voice pitched a little lower.

You nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“I noticed you were walking a little behind, so...”

Your mouth opened a little. “O-oh... I mean, I’m just used to being at the back,” you explained haltingly. “As a weapon, it’s convenient for me to- to watch the back... I mean, normally. It’s sort of- it’s become habit.” You flicked your eyes down, not wanting to go further back to the days when slaves were taught to keep behind your master, don’t ever make eye contact with anyone above you, protect your owner.

“You don’t have to do that with us, you know, Shiv. I mean,” Tech said, adjusting his glasses, “If we need to fight you should probably be in the middle of us anyway.”

You smiled at him, grateful for his thought. “Thanks, Tech.” So you kept in time with his steps, approaching Commander Rex who was waiting.

“Welcome back, Force 99,” he greeted calmly, nodding to everyone. “Looks like you came back without injuries.”

Hunter saluted. “Well, not quite, Commander, but I think we’re in pretty good shape.”

“Not quite?” Rex raised an eyebrow, eyes scanning you all. They lingered on you for a moment. “You seem fine.”

“Healed now, Commander,” Hunter confirmed. “Shiv took the worst hit our first mission, though.”

You winced, lifting your hands and waving them awkwardly. “It’s f-fine, Sergeant, C-Commander!” you squeaked loudly, voice pitching higher. “I’m fine, just- just a usual battle occurrence, you know-“

But Rex approached you with a frown. “Shiv, we all know you usually don’t get normal injuries,” he said severely. “Did you try too hard and get distracted again?”

You ducked your head, feet shuffling as he called you out. “It was my fault, Commander-“

“Bantha poodoo,” Hunter muttered, rolling his eyes. “It was my fault, Commander. I distracted her unintentionally and got her hurt.”

You looked up at Rex, eyes wide. “It’s not his fault. And I’m fine, really-“

He sighed, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “If you’re really so fine, I suppose you wouldn’t mind going to let Kix take a look at you, then,” he said dryly.

You glanced at Hunter. “Um...”

Hunter just nodded. “You have our comms if you need us.”

You gave him a skittish smile. “Th-thank you, Sergeant. Um- Commander Rex, about a report-“

Rex waved you off. “Don’t worry about it, Shiv, I’ll get it from you later.” He dismissed you.

You reached out and brushed a hand against Tech’s arm. “I’m gonna go...”

He nodded. “Comm if you need anything.”

You nodded and turned to flee, hurrying through the door. You wanted to go see the 501st, especially Kix and Fives, your best friends. By the time you made it to their quarters, your anxiety had started to gnaw at your stomach again. You wanted to see them, but.... what if they were busy, or-?

The door burst open, and you staggered backwards at the unexpected motion. A gasp wrenching from your mouth, you flailed just as a hand caught your arm and kept you from falling. Hands grasping at the sleeves of whoever had caught you, you looked up through mussed hair.

Surprised eyes stared back at you, before a wide grin split the familiar face. “SHIV!” he hollered, grabbing you and pulling you into a tight hug that felt comforting despite crushing the air out of you. “Yo guys, Shiv is back!” Jesse, Kix, and a couple of others grinned and greeted you, while you waved back sheepishly. Fives dragged you over to the bunk, sitting you down.

“How did it go? Haven’t heard from you in a while, are you good, Shiv? Did you go on any good missions? How’s the Bad Batch coming along? Did everything work out?”

You defensively put up your hands, smiling. “I’ve missed you too, Fives, but uh- technically Commander Rex told me to come get a checkup from Kix-“

Kix was at your side in a heartbeat, frowning. “What? Did you get injured? Where?” he demanded, grabbing at you.

You held out your arm. “It’s fine, it’s healed, but he wouldn’t let me finish the story,” you said with a bit of a sulk. “It was just me being stupid and getting distracted-“

“You mean, you getting worried and trying too hard.” Kix rolled his eyes at you as he observed your arm. “Looks fine to me, did you get it patched quickly?”

You tried to look away, not wanting to admit to the severity of the damage. Kix’s eyes narrowed. “Shiv,” he said, voice warning.

You came clean, crumbling. “I had to cover it!” you yelped.

Fives hissed. “You what? Shiv, you never have to do that unless it was bad-“

You explained the mission, letting Kix double-check you over just for peace of mind. By the time you’d finished, Fives was groaning as Kix shook his head at you.

“Seriously, Shiv. You’re kriffing amazing, but you keep forgetting that you’re at home with us. We’re your Vod’ika.” Fives frowned at you. “Remember? Echo reminded you all the time.”

You flinched, turning your head away at the reminder. “I know,” you muttered, curling in on yourself. And he was right: the 501st had really been your brothers in the time you’d been with them. They’d really patched you up, taught you to think better of yourself, put more worth on your existence, gave you love and care and a home of protective brothers.

“Sounds like at least the Bad Batch know better than to let you take all the blame,” Kix tutted. “Have they treated you well?”

You looked up and nodded at that, eyes wide. “Yeah! They’ve... they’ve been really good to me, like you guys,” you said, stumbling over your words in your rush to assure them. “I- I’ve really been enjoying working with them. It’s a bit hard because of their differences, but it’s really...” you tilted your head, “rewarding?”

Fives nodded. “That’s good, Shiv. Glad to hear it.” He stretched. “Hey, we’re going to the 79s tonight, come along? Please? I’ll buy you anything you want.”

You smiled at him, deciding that you’d go, just for the company. You didn’t really like the bars, but... for Fives. And Kix. “Only if you promise you won’t make me dance, you’ll let me sit close to you guys, and only if you get me a mocktail,” you bargained.

Fives whooped. “Deal! Let’s go!”

You laughed a bit, shaking your head. “Let me at least go say hi to the others,” you protested. “Besides, I should get changed-“

“Oh yeah, wear a dress, Shiv.” Fives turned to you excitedly.

You blinked. “A... dress?” you asked uncertainly. You hadn’t worn one in a long time.

Fives tilted his head at you. “Do you have one?” His eyebrows furrowed. “Cause if you don’t, we should go get you one!”

You swallowed, glancing at Kix. “Uh- I mean, I don’t- I haven’t had to wear one in a long time so- uh-“

A grin spread across Fives’ face. “Let’s go.”

Kix just shook his head at you, his eyes telling you that you should just give up the attempt to protest. You swallowed and decided he was right.

“Fives-“ You stood in the dressing room, hands covering your face.

“C’mon, Shiv, lemme see!” Fives called from behind the curtain.

Taking a breath, you took one last self-conscious glance in the mirror before hesitantly walking out of the changing booth. Fives had insisted on taking you out, and after getting you a bit of a makeup makeover, dragged you to get a dress. And while you didn’t really mind, per se, this felt a little... unusual. Fives grinned at you, twirling his finger. You did a bit of a spin with the combat boots you’d refused to give up. The mid-thigh high dress flared a little as you squeaked and pushed it back down, feeling heat bloom in your face. The black dress had a bit of a ruffled skirt and was off-the-shoulder, but still comfortable and not overly revealing. “Do you like it, Shiv? It looks really good,” Fives encouraged, nodding.

You gave him an uncertain look. “Um- I guess? Does it look okay? I mean, for... going out with you all?”

He snorted. “Shiv, if anything we’re going to have to keep you under close watch so some idiot doesn’t decide that he’s good enough to put his hands all over the art.” He rolled his eyes.

You laughed a little, appreciating the way Fives always tried to make sure you weren’t pressured into anything. “If you’re sure this looks ok, I’m fine with it. It’s comfortable.”

He nodded, pleased. “C’mon then! Let’s go get it. We should be just in time to catch the others on the way over.”

You grabbed your bag, slinging it over your shoulder again as you followed after Fives. He paid for the dress, which you’d tried and failed to protest, and hailed a cab to take you to the 79s. Turning, you pressed your hand against the window and watched the traffic spin by with dizzying colors in neat lines of air lanes.

“Just stick close to us if you’re uncomfortable, Shiv,” Fives was saying from his seat. “If you need to leave that’s fine. Just wanted to have a good time with you after you’ve been away, y’know?”

You turned to give him a grateful smile, reaching out to grab his hand. “Thanks, Fives. I’m glad to see you guys again.”

He grinned, squeezing your hand. “Oh, we’re here.” Paying the fare and still holding your hand, he pulled you out of the cab and headed toward the doors of the club. You swallowed a little at the noise you could already hear coming from inside the building. Still, you held onto his hand tightly as he pulled you in, leading you through the crowds to a booth over by the other side of the dance floor.

“There you are, Fives,” Jesse called, waving from the booth. Several of the 501st were crammed into the booth, some of them already nursing drinks even though it had barely gotten dark outside. You tried to reorient yourself, out of breath from the quick walk through the mass of people. Your hair had fallen over your face.

“Who did you bring?” Hardcase asked, voice a little confused.

You looked up with a blink, confused. Surely he hadn’t forgotten you-?

But Fives was cackling. “Hardcase you idiot, it’s Shiv.”

Even Dogma gave you a double-take, making your cheeks heat. “U-um, h-hi,” you said, not knowing what to do other than give a little wave.

“Whoa, Shiv, you look really good,” Tup said with a friendly grin. “Never seen you all done up like that.”

You smiled, sliding into the booth and ending up squished between Fives and Hawk. “Oh... well, I haven’t needed to wear a dress in a while, and... I mean, Fives made me.” You shrugged.

Hawks reached over and smacked Fives’ shoulder. “Idiot. Now you’ve done it.”

Fives whined exaggeratedly and rubbed his shoulder. “Look, I made sure she liked it before I bought it! And she looks really good!”

“This is the 79s.” Hawk rolled his eyes. “You know Shiv doesn’t like attention from people she doesn’t know.”

You smiled, grabbing Hawk’s hand. He was always the quiet, stoic older Vod of the group, and he’d always kept an eye out for you from afar. “I’m ok, Hawk. Fives promised he wouldn’t make me dance or anything. I just haven’t seen all of you in a while, so...” You bit your lip, letting go as soon as you remembered the red lipstick. “I mean- I’ve sort of missed being with my... with my Vod’ika.” You tried out the word for the first time, hesitant and a little worried you’d misspeak it. But if the way everyone’s heads whipped to you the moment you said it, you didn’t think that was the issue. Not when their eyes were practically glittering.

Tup grinned, leaning over the table. “Say it again, Shiv?”

You shied into Hawk’s side. “Uh-um-“

But Hawk wasn’t much help either, chuckling as he poked your side teasingly. “Say it again, Shiv.”

You glanced around, then swallowed. “Vod’ika,” you managed to say, albeit quietly.

But Fives let out a whoop. “I’m gonna go get you your favorite drink, just for that, Shiv!” He leapt off to go towards the bar, leaving you blushing but laughing a little.

“Glad to see you doing well, Shiv. I take it the Bad Batch has been treating you fine?” Dogma decided to ask, taking sympathy on you.

You nodded, fiddling with the edge of your skirt unconsciously. “Yeah, they’ve been really nice. I like working with them. It’s hard work but it’s... it feels really, um, rewarding, and good.”

Fives came back with your drink, tossing a hand around your shoulder. “Here you go, Shiv.”

You reached forwards, eyes lighting up at the sight of the drink. It was your favorite fruity mocktail with a dash of soda, a rare treat. Pulling it toward you, you took a little sip and let out a happy hum, smiling around the straw. You didn’t notice the fond smiles the others sent you as you wiggled a little in your seat, enjoying the drink.

Fives left after a minute to go find someone to dance with, and Jesse decided to go to the bar after a moment. Hawks slid to the other side of you, keeping himself as a buffer between you and the rest of the club. You continued to just enjoy your drink, feeling safe as long as the others were watching over you. You didn’t necessarily enjoy the club atmosphere, but it was worth it to hang out with your Vod’ika.

But still, even as you enjoyed the company and catching up with the 501st, you began to realize that you kinda wished that the Bad Batch were there. That you could listen to Tech chatter on about whatever he was working on, or what he had read recently. You wished you could hear Wrecker’s loud, boisterous laughter echo throughout the room. Hear Crosshair’s grunts as he listened, probably polishing his weapons. Or even just feel Hunter’s presence around. Despite his hypersensitive senses, he’d allowed you to quietly sit in the cockpit with him sometimes, remarking that your presence and heartbeat were tranquil and calming. He’d even told you that you smelled like the ozone of plasma and the faint undertones of gunmetal, familiar and grounding.

“Hey Shiv, you alright?” Hardcase’s voice made you look up.

“Oh- I’m fine, thanks.” You smiled. “Just got a little lost in thought.” You glanced over at the bar, noting that Kix had joined Jesse. “I’m gonna go talk to Kix for a minute,” you told Hawks.

He nodded, letting you past him. You walked towards the bar, ignoring everyone else around you. Kix turned to see you as soon as you hopped up into the chair next to him, smiling.

“You okay, Shiv?”

You just nodded, legs swinging above the floor. “I’m good. Are you and Jesse ok?” You peered around him at Jesse.

He just nodded. “I’m fine,” he reassured, lifting his drink. “Just talking with Kix.”

You nodded. “Oh, where’s Fives?”

Kix pointed towards the dance floor, so you swiveled the chair to peer into the crowd. You caught sight of Fives and smiled, watching as he danced away and occasionally bumped into a few people. Fives, of all of them, never really seemed to have a problem getting a girl or two to fawn over him. You didn’t really mind watching him, though, amused by his antics and his reckless abandon in everything he did, including dancing and flirting.

After a moment, though, you turned and tugged at Kix’s sleeve. “I’ll be back. Fresher,” you said, sliding off of the chair.

“You know where it is?” he asked immediately,.

You nodded. “Around that corner. I’ll be back.”

He frowned but nodded. “Be safe.”

You went and found the fresher without any problems, and after washing your hands, glanced in the mirror. You blinked, almost startled at the makeup. You’d forgotten it was on, really. Shaking your head, you decided to just ignore it and walk back out. You were starting to feel a bit... peopled-out, but you wanted to stay a bit more just to hang out with the 501st. You could always go back to the Marauder whenever and get some sleep afterwards.

You’d just headed back out when you bumped into someone. With a gasp, you stumbled back. “S-Sorry,” you blurted. “I wasn’t paying attention-“

“Well what do we have here?” A guy smirked at you, his reddened cheeks giving away his state. “You’re pretty, aren’t ya?”

You gave him an uncomfortable smile. “Thank you. If you’ll excuse me-“

“What, leaving so soon?” He glanced up and down, eyes lingering in ways that made you want to shrink. “How about a dance, huh?”

You glanced around, hoping to catch sight of Fives. “Um- no thanks, I don’t-“

“C’mon, just a dance, call it even for catching you from falling.” He reached out to grab your arm as you started to scrabble away, breath shortening. No- no, if you panicked here-

But all you could see was leering faces, staring at you as though you were nothing more than a simple object, a ware to be bought and sold. Hands grabbing at you, reaching for you, using and abusing you to force you to kill and kill and kill-

“Oi, there you are Shiv!” A booming voice cut through your clouding, panicking mind.

Close to tears, you looked up to see a familiar face grinning down at you. Hyperventilating, you opened your mouth only for nothing to come out, your lips trembling. You could only mouth for help, please.

“Was lookin’ for you, y’know,” Wrecker said with a hearty laugh, stepping in front of you. “You just disappeared.”

Reaching out, you grasped his sleeve with shaking fingers and tried to breathe through the waves of panic.

“Hey, but I-“

Wrecker turned to look at the guy, staring down at him. He laughed, fairly towering over the guy. “What, didn’t Shiv already tell you she didn’t want to dance?”

The guy took one look up and decided to mutter something before slinking away.

Wrecker turned to you. “Hey, Shiv, you ok?”

You clutched his sleeve so tightly that you swore you could squeeze the dye out of it. “I’m sorry,” you gasped out. “I just- it took me off-guard and I-“

“Hey, it’s ok, Shiv.” Wrecker reached out, then hesitated. “Can I- uh- so we can go somewhere quieter?”

You nodded, feeling jittery. “P-please.”

He nodded and gently grabbed you, lifting you up and starting to wade through the crowd. He set you down, and you looked up to see that you were in a smaller booth, further into the corner of the room. The Bad Batch were all sitting there, looking at you with concerned frowns.

“Shiv, you okay? Didn’t know you’d be here,” Hunter said cautiously.

You shook your head, beginning to explain shakily how you’d ended up at the 79s. “I- I just- something about him re-reminded me of my past and I- I was trying not to panic because there’s too many people,” you gasped out, shaking your head.

“Wrecker, go find one of the 501st and tell them Shiv’s with us,” Hunter said.

You closed your eyes, breathing in slowly and evenly as you tried to calm down. Your heart was still pounding, and you were sure Hunter could hear it, maybe even the way your blood seemed to rush through your veins in an adrenaline-laced frenzy.

“Hey, you’re fine, now. No one’s gonna hurt you while we’re around,” Hunter said carefully.

Wrecker lumbered back, Kix trailing behind him.

“Shiv, are you alright? I’m sorry, I should have gone with you-“

You shook your head at him. “It’s ok, Kix. I didn’t think anything would happen in two minutes,” you sighed. “Besides, I accidentally bumped into him anyway.”

“He ran off like a coward,” Wrecker said staunchly, sitting next to you in the booth.

“Do you want to stay here, or come back to our booth?” Kix asked you.

“I’ll stay, I should go back to the ship soon anyway,” you said, brushing hair out of your face. “I’ll see you later, Commander Rex said he’d get my report later anyway.” You gave him a small smile.

Kix nodded. “Stay safe and get some rest, Shiv.” With a wave to you and the others, he returned to the bar.

You still felt a little shaky, even though your heart rate had slowed a little and you felt less dizzy. In a way, you almost wished you could Shift, just to physically hide away in a place of comfort.

“Wrecker?” you asked quietly.

He turned to look at you quizzically.

“Could I- um, can I hold your hand? I’m feeling a little...”

With a ready grin, he held out his hand without hesitation.

You took it with a grateful smile, wrapping your fingers around his broad hand. The warmth and strength in his hand soothed and grounded you, reminding you that this was your team, and they had protected you so far. Welcomed you, even. You noticed that a few scars littered his hand, white slashing across his fingers and the back of his hand.

Running your fingers over the scars, you vaguely wondered how he’d gotten some of them. They puckered slightly, your fingers feeling the ridges and valleys of the scar tissue as they ran across his bronzed hand. His fingers flexed slightly, as though holding back a gesture as he spoke, and the controlled strength in the movement as he lightly squeezed your fingers reminded you of how he could effortlessly heft your weapon form in his hands.

Holding onto his fingers, you closed your eyes and took a few steadying breaths. The noise of the bar had turned into a murmur of white noise in the back of your awareness, your attention focusing inward. You could feel the strength of the Bonds you’d formed with the Bad Batch, lingering on the fringes of your awareness.

While you couldn’t read any thoughts, you could still feel, if you focused, a baseline flow of emotion if they were projecting or feeling strongly. Crosshair was silent, as always, a sort of fuzzy darkness in your mind that still somehow felt comforting in its mere presence. Hunter had a slight spike of irritation, but not directed towards anyone in particular. Most likely from the loud noises and smells, you guessed. Tech had a flow of thoughts, like the babble of a creek in the faint distance, occasionally getting a bit louder before quieting. It was grounding in its constancy. Wrecker, of course, always projected, so if you focused you could always feel something from him. Like now-

A spark of pure, undiluted joy. A flutter of nervousness? Overwhelming protectiveness, and a vague desire to feel gunmetal against skin, pushed away.

Your eyes fluttered open, a little surprised at the mixture of his strong emotions. You’d never really felt that combination before, besides the underlying want for a weapon that always underscored his thoughts. Still, the way his thoughts kept gravitating towards those made you wonder what he was thinking about to make him feel them so strongly.

You realized that you’d laced your fingers unconsciously in Wrecker’s, physically tethering yourself to his presence as you focused inward for a moment. Letting out a soft breath, you shook yourself a little and started to uncurl your fingers from his, unsure if he was uncomfortable with the rather intimate touch.

Instead, he immediately looked down at you, interrupting himself mid-sentence. “You okay, Shiv?” He glanced down at your hand, eyebrows furrowing.

You blinked, a little surprised. “Y-yeah, thank you. Sorry, I just didn’t know if I, um, made you uncomfortable. I was trying to- uh- focus on the- the Bonds and sort of zoned- zoned out.”

He squeezed your hand, smiling again. “No problem! As long as you feel okay.”

You ducked your head a little, sending him a shyly grateful smile. Wrecker had been, in all honesty, the most effusively kind to you despite his brash ways. His volume never really bothered you, knowing that it was simply who he was, his personality. He was strong and tended to barge into things, of course, but he wasn’t stupid. No one knew that better than you, after being in his head so many times. He was protective of those he considered family and friends, and attentive to their moods and needs. He’d been one of the most open and accommodating to you ever since you first joined and completed Transference.

As you let yourself twine fingers with Wrecker’s broad hand again, you began to realize how much you felt for the Bad Batch. How quickly they’d crawled into your head, wormed into your heart. How much you thought about them, worried about them. Though at first you’d simply wanted to be a useful part of the team and help out, you now realized that you cared about them, as clones, as humans, as friends, as teammates, as family.

You’d been wishing earlier that they had been there to share the experience with you. When you’d been panicking, all you could think about beyond the fear was that you wanted to be back on the Marauder, back with the Bad Batch, surrounded by familiarity and comfort. You’d looked immediately to your teammates for grounding. You’d instantly wanted to focus inward on the Bonds for comfort and stability.

You’d actively sought out Wrecker’s physical presence to calm yourself, reaching back out to ask for the affection he so readily offered and gave. The realization hit you with more force than you’d really anticipated. How fast had the Bad Batch integrated themselves into your heart and mind? How far did they reach into your very being? How much had they claimed of your normally-reserved trust and affection? Why did Wrecker’s grin under crinkled eyes and his firm grasp make you feel so warm and safe?

Since when had your heart felt so achingly full when you were just with them?

You stared blankly at the table for a moment, mind practically screaming. Oh, Maker, you couldn’t possibly have— could you? Had you really- You’d thought that, after Echo, you’d never have the capacity or even desire to feel that way again toward anyone, but- really? Had you really started to crush on Wrecker?

You desperately hoped your palms hadn’t gotten any sweatier after the incident and the new revelation. You wished for a moment that you could just... leave. You needed distance, needed just- just a moment away, to think.

A hand landed on your arm lightly, making you look up. Tech gave you a cautious look. “I’m going back to the ship, the others are planning to stay a little longer. Do you want to go back with me?”

You instantly nodded jerkily, swallowing past the lump in your throat. “Yes, please.” You turned to look up at Wrecker, trying desperately not to show any of your roiling feelings on your face. “Wrecker, I’m going back to the ship with Tech.”

He blinked, then nodded. “Oh, sure. You okay?”

You nodded, giving him a small, reassuring smile. “I’m fine, just a little... over the crowds.”

His face eased. “Right, you’ve been here a while.” He grinned, then squeezed your hand before letting go. “Stick with Tech till you get back to the ship, alright?” he advised, placing his hands on your hips and lifting you up and over him in the booth to set you on your feet on the floor.

You blinked, mouth a little parted. “Oh- of course,” you said belatedly, feeling heat start to creep up your face at the effortless gesture. “Thanks, Wrecker. For everything.” Before you really thought about it, you bent over and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “I owe you a snack,” you called over your shoulder as you turned to catch up to Tech.

You didn’t hear a reply, too busy reaching out to grab Tech’s sleeve as you followed him through the crowd. He glanced back at you, then grasped your hand more securely. You kept your head down and instead noted how his thin, lithe fingers wrapped around your hand with a wiry strength. His fingers were long and tapered, callouses scraping against your skin, but his hand was warm and still gentle. As soon as you walked outside into the cool air, you sucked in a deep breath and sighed in relief. Tech glanced back at you as he hailed a cab.

“Are you alright, Shiv?” he asked.

You nodded. “Yeah, just... it was really loud and warm in there, and... I don’t usually go there because crowds make me uncomfortable,” you said, shaking your head.

He held the door open and let you slide in before him, closing the door and telling the cabbie where to go. Then he turned back to you.

“I understand. I only go for a few drinks and then usually head back to the ship. I don’t really see a point in wasting time around so many people when I’m not really interested in most of the reasons others go there for in the first place.”

“Yeah.” You shrugged. “Fives wanted me to go, and I hadn’t seen them in a while so I decided to. Usually I’m fine, they do keep me at the booth with them. I just... you know, no one expects to have an anxiety attack just trying to come back from the fresher.” You rolled your eyes in annoyance.

Tech nodded. “I’m glad Wrecker found you when he did.”

You sighed. “I can usually defend myself, I just...” you glanced out the window with a hint of bitterness. “Something about him... just brought back old memories. And the crowd was just so much that I guess I wasn’t prepared for it.”

“Nothing wrong with that, Shiv,” Tech said, observing you. “You’ve mentioned to us enough things about your past to know that you’ve been through a lot. I mean, I’m surprised you even allow yourself to be a weapon anymore as it is.”

You gave him a startled look. “What else would I do? I mean, I know, I could learn another trade.” You rolled your eyes. “But I mean... a weapon is just what I am, literally. It only makes sense that I be myself, especially in a time when I can be most useful. I was just... not used in the way I chose to be used before. Now that I’m being used by those who are fighting for a cause I believe in, it’s...” You scrunched your nose, unsure how to exactly explain yourself.

You decided a different tack. “I mean, you like working with your gadgets, right?”

He nodded, eyes focused on you intently.

You motioned to his goggles. “You could do other things, but it makes the most sense to do what you find fulfillment in doing. If you were, say, captured and forced to make things or do work for the Separatists, you’d feel miserable, right?”

“I should think so,” he agreed.

“But you’re using what you enjoy as a tool to also help the cause you believe in. So it’s rewarding in the right context.” You sighed, folding your hands on your lap. “I am a weapon. Being used as a weapon is... is what I am good at, it gives me a sense of fulfillment because it is what I am. It’s just... before, I wasn’t given a choice of how or why I was used. Now it’s... it’s different. I chose to accept Commander Rex’s suggestion, and I chose to learn to work with you. This...” you took in a steadying breath. “Being with you is- is where I feel most at home, now. Where I feel happy.”

Tech gave you his little, signature smile, his thin lips curling up. “Glad to hear it, Shiv. I personally think your addition to the group has been a good one.”

You gave him a smile, the warmth lighting in your chest again.

Tech opened the door for you once you arrived, paying the cabbie. He offered his hand, which you took, and started back towards the ship at the GAR.

“I’m going to be in the common room doing things, in case you want to join,” Tech offered, letting go of your hand once you climbed the ramp.

You nodded. “Oh, um, Tech- do you have footage from our missions?”

He nodded. “All of them so far, yeah. Do you want them?”

You gave him a sheepish nod. “Yeah... I mean, they’d probably be nice to have to give to Commander Rex as part of my report tomorrow,” you admitted.

He nodded. “Bring your datapad and I’ll upload them.”

“Thanks, Tech. I’ll be there in a minute.” You went back to your room to change, deciding to also wipe off your makeup while you were at it. Dressed in a comfortable oversized shirt that used to belong to Echo and a pair of comfortable shorts, you grabbed your datapad and headed back to the common area to get the video from Tech.

He readily uploaded the footage, and you both fell into your usual habit of doing your own thing in companionable silence. You went through and compiled a report based on the logs you’d written and the footage that Tech had provided, and after proofreading it, sent it to Rex in advance of your report. Glancing at the time, you noted that it had been about a chron and a half since you’d started. Still, it wasn’t too late, and you weren’t quite tired enough to consider bed yet.

You stood and grabbed your datapad. “I’m going to the galley, Tech,” you said.

He gave you an absentminded nod, refocusing on his work and mumbling under his breath.

Hiding a small smile, you went to the galley and paused a moment to put on some soft music from a channel you liked on the datapad. Setting it on the counter, you rummaged through the cupboards. Luckily, the delivery you’d ordered had arrived earlier that day, so you had the ingredients you needed for your baking needs. Pulling out the ingredients, you began the familiar, calming process of baking.

But as you hummed absently to the music and continued to whisk ingredients in the stainless steel bowls, you found your mind wandering to process the thoughts that had been hovering in the back of your mind. More specifically, the revelation you’d had about your feelings towards your team.

After finally calling the 501st your Vod’ika out loud to them, you’d realized that you really did consider them your brothers, your family. They had all been the ones to pull you out of your darkest moments, rescue you from your slavery to a Separatist highbrow, and give you a reason to live and a sense of worth to your tattered name. They’d all been your protective older brothers who had taken care of you and nurtured you back to health and functioning mental capacity. They’d been the ones to show you what healthy Transference should really be like.

And Fives and Echo had been your firsts in many ways. Fives had been your first confidante, first close brother and friend, first to bring you out of your shell, first fight that hadn’t ended in violence or danger. Echo... Echo had been your first in other ways. Your first voluntary physical contact that hadn’t been frightening or forced, your first genuine laugh-until-you-cried, first requested hug, first bunkmate you fully trusted— and first crush. At least, you considered him to be your first crush. Not that you’d ever told him or even really thought about telling him, sure that he simply saw you as a sister of sorts or just friend at the very least.

When the Battle had happened... you, Fives, and Kix had all grown undeniably closer as the ones closest to Echo and ones who took the loss the hardest. Not that the others didn’t, but everyone knew that the four of you had really been a package deal in most situations, not to mention the way the incident had happened...

A little part of you still screamed that you shouldn’t have listened to him, should have just stayed with him, should have done anything, something-

But you knew that Echo would have hated hearing you say anything of the sort. Knew he would have told you fiercely that he’d made his own choice, had gone the way he chose to.

Still. The pain still gnawed at you whenever you thought of him. And after him, you thought you’d probably lose any capacity to even consider romantic feelings toward anyone. After all, you were right now simply a weapon in the middle of a galactic War. What soldier would want to have a relationship with a weapon? Not to mention all the baggage you’d come with? Whether you deserved love or not was moot point: you ran the risk of losing anyone. Echo had only driven that point home.

But somehow, without your realizing, you’d already possibly formed feelings for Wrecker. And that being said, you thought desperately as you poured batter into the cupcake tins, that wasn’t the only problem. Your feelings, while certainly more predominant towards Wrecker, also extended to your other teammates. Wrecker was simply the one who had drawn your attention to your own reactions to him. But if you were being brutally honest with yourself, those same feelings of affection, trust, contentment, and safety extended towards all of them through your Bonds.

What were you going to do?

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imasimpforshanks · 3 years

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hiii, how are you? may i ask angst alphabet for Ace? thank you ❤️

Angst Alphabet - Portgas D. Ace

a/n: hi hi!! here you go! OMG angst is still really hard LOL I don’t want to think about their rough life 😔😔😔😔😔 ANYWHOOOOO thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy<3

warnings: on the letter S there is mention of self harm

A-Accident (would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?)

Ace would definitely blame himself. He’s always thought he was a no-good demon child, son of a criminal that didn’t deserve to be alive (despite finding people that truly cared and loved him). You dying in an accident and him not being able to do anything about it would just reinforce what he already thinks of himself.

Regardless of your cause of death he is likely to attribute it to your association with himself, and because of that he will think it is entirely his fault, even if he wasn’t present at the time of your death.

B-Break up (How would they break up with you?)

His lessons with Makino really helped him develop manners and just a general sense of acceptable behaviour. So, Ace would just be clear and up front, no mixed messages, no miscommunication. He would take you some place quiet and away from others, and then he would be as honest and vulnerable as possible – it’s the least you deserve. The break-up would be very civil, you would definitely end on good terms (doesn’t make it any less sad though).

C-Crying (how would they make you cry?)

Sometimes Ace can take his teasing a little too far. Usually you can handle it, but there are just some days where his words cut deeper than ever intended (even if they have no malice behind them). It’s not his fault you’re having a bad day, or not realizing you are having a bad day. It’s just one of those things that happens sometimes. As soon as you start to cry though, he apologizes and reassures you so much, to make sure you known he doesn’t mean it and he’s only playing around.

D-Death (how would they react to your death?)

It would start out with a lot of confusion, like “what t-that must be some kind of a sick joke. H-how… w-what… they wouldn’t just die like that.” After it really sinks in that you have in fact died, Ace will just get angry. I don’t see him as much of a crier (spoiler alert – we only see him truly allow himself to cry on two occasions 1) when luffy got crazy hurt as a child and 2) when ace was on deaths door), so I believe he would react with anger.

Regardless of your cause of death (natural causes, accident, died in battle etc.) Ace would be unbelievably angry with himself, the world and you. He would be angry at himself for being unable to save you, someone he cares about and loves deeply. He would be angry at the world and whatever higher being there may be for choosing now to be your time. There are so many horrible, horrible people in the world, yet you had to die? It makes no sense. Lastly, he would be angry at you. Not a genuine anger but more so a “how could you just leave me like this? We were meant to be together forever.”

E-Emotion (what is one emotion they would try to hide the most and how would they do it?)

I think Ace tends to try his sadness. He tries to put on a brave face, not wanting anyone to see him cry as he doesn’t want to be viewed as weak or be even more of a burden on others.

F-Fight (how often do you fight? What do you fight about? Do you fight often? Etc.)

Fights with Ace, although they don’t happen often, can quickly get out of hand. He’s stubborn and his inability to accept that he’s not always right can cause a minor disagreement to escalate into an all-out fight. On a few occasions you have argued about him never turning his back on an opponent.

Your fights tend to be followed by cooldown time. Things can get quite heated (no pun intended) so you need some alone time and space to breathe. After that though, you comeback together and apologize.

G-Guilt (what is the biggest thing they feel guilty about?)

For his entire life, Ace has lived with the guilt of simply existing. He doesn’t think himself worthy of being alive. Can you blame him? It’s all anyone ever told him growing up. Despite eventually finding people who loved him for him, those feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness still remain and continue to plague his mind.

H-Heartbreak (what would cause them pain in the relationship? How would they deal during a break-up?)

During a break-up Ace is quiet. He doesn’t want to be around anyone or anything. He wants to be left completely alone so he can sort out his thoughts and feelings. He’d be quite devasted because he’s had so few people in his life love him on as deep a level as you did.

I-Injured (how would they react if you are badly injured?)

Ace would absolutely lose it if you were injured. He’d be concerned, upset, and angry all at once. First things first, he needs to know if you are going to be ok. Once that’s been established, he’ll be upset at himself for allowing this to happen. This will be replaced by the pure anger he feels at whoever, or whatever, caused this.

J-Jealousy (what do they do if they are jealous?)

When he gets jealous he turns into such a man child. He’s pouting and moping around while mumbling to himself. He develops quite a petty attitude. If you were to ask him “want to go get something to eat?” he’d respond with “why don’t you just go and ask ____ for some food.” But, as soon as you begin commenting on how jealous he’s acting he’s going to deny it to the end of his days.

K-Kill (would they kill for revenge?)

Ace literally hunted down Blackbeard so he could get revenge on him for killing Thatch. It’s not certain whether or not Ace had the intention of killing Blackbeard, however, he definitely had both the spirit and anger to go through with killing him. So, it is possible that Ace would kill for revenge. However, for the most part, he would prefer to just beat them senseless.

L-Loss (what is their greatest loss?)

Either Sabo or his mother’s death, would be considered Ace’s greatest loss. His mother died when he was a new-born, so he doesn’t particularly remember, or know, anything about her other than the fact that she was a kind wonderful woman. However, the loss of Sabo is something he remembers vividly. Losing Sabo had a major impact on Ace. It was an unfortunate wake up call as to how awful the world truly is.

M-Mistake (what is the worst mistake they ever made with you?)

One night, after a particularly bad day filled with a horrible series of events, Ace was letting off some steam (quite literally I suppose). Messing with his devil fruit power, throwing some flames around. He hadn’t noticed your presence and so his flames nearly burnt you. He was horrified, and he only felt worse after he noticed the pure terror in your eyes.

N-Nightmares (how often do they have them? What are they about? How do they deal with it?

Ace has nightmares frequently, they vary, but they all have the same underlying theme, that is, the people in his life don’t actually care about him and only view him the same way everyone else views the son of the pirate kind – a worthless devil with no right to life. He wakes up from his dreams in a sweat and finds himself in desperate need of fresh air (ya know to try and clear his mind). He ends up just sitting out on the deck of the Moby Dick looking up at the sky trying to tell himself it was all a dream. But his insecurity and self-doubt begin to resurface and soon he can’t discern imagination from reality. However, the moment someone else on the crew even speaks to Ace with something as simple as a “morning dude” he’s brought back down to earth and thinks to himself “no that’s right…. They love me… I wouldn’t be here right now if they didn’t.”

It’s a vicious cycle, but in the end, he manages to remember (even if it’s just for a little bit) that he is cherished.

O-Outrage (how and why would they get mad at you?)

When you continuously tell him there’s no need to stay and fight every single opponent. It’s okay to turn and runaway – in fact it’s safer to do that. When you say that he feels as though you don’t understand him. He’s not some careless, impulsive child who’s just looking for a fight (okay maybe he is a little bit). So he doesn’t really get super angry, it’s more so that he is frustrated and a little upset that you don’t try to see it from his perspective.

P-Past (what has happened in your relationship that changed the way you saw each other?)

It’s the same as the worst mistake he’s ever made with you – nearly burning you with his devil fruit. It made you realize that Ace can actually be quite dangerous (although you know he would NEVER hurt you intentionally). It made Ace realize that he needs to be more careful, the look of pure terror in your eyes has stayed with him ever since that incident, serving as a reminder.

Q-Quality (what is their most dangerous/toxic quality?)

His tendency to not back down from a fight is simultaneously his most endearing and toxic trait. He constantly places himself in dangerous situations with minimal concern for his own safety.

R-Rejection (how would they react to you rejecting their confession (or the other way around))

Having his confession rejected by you was definitely a blow to his self-esteem, but he respected and accepted your feelings. Instead of moping around about it he decides to laugh it off, trying to make light of a slightly disappointing situation.

S-Scars (battle or self-inflicted)

Ace does not have any scars, battle related or self-inflicted.

TW self-harm: I do think ace got worryingly close to self-harming, but Sabo and Luffy made him rethink it all.

T-Trust (have they ever broken your trust?)

The one and only time Ace broke your trust was after Blackbeards betrayal. You made him promise to take you with him when he left to hunt down Blackbeard because you didn’t want him to go alone. He promised but he had no intention of keeping that promise.

U-Urge (how badly do they want to see you after you guys separated?)

For a while Ace manages to get by by keeping himself preoccupied. But as soon as he lets up for even a minute, he realizes how much he misses you and is beyond tempted to just sail on back to wherever you are and tackle you to the ground plastering your face in lil kisses. When he’s not distracted, he really does miss you a lot. He hyper-fixates on what you could be doing at this very moment, whether or not you miss him too etc.

V-Vicious (what do they do when they lash out on you?)

When ace gets mad, he tends to get very loud. He raises his voice quite a lot and it becomes very, very frightening. He would never physically hurt you, but the anger and frustration in his voice is more than another to scare the shit out of you.

W-Weak (what makes them feel weak how do they try to avoid it?)

Constantly being reminded or associated with the Pirate King. Maybe it doesn’t make him feel weak, but it makes him feel horrible inside and stirs up a lot of feelings and remarks people would make when he was younger. Unfortunately, once word gets out there isn’t much Ace can do to stop this from happening, however, before this, Ace avoided this by not telling ANYONE. He only told Luffy and Sabo, with a very small handful of others knowing (i.e Garp).

X-X-ray (what do they hate and show it most obviously?)

He hates turning his back on a fight or turning his back on people that talk shit about those he cares about. This is seen during the Marineford arc. He doesn’t let Akainus words about Whitebeard slide. He doesn’t runaway. He has no tolerance for that shit.

Y-Yearn (what is one thing that they want but can’t have?)

Ok this may be dark as hell but, Ace just wants to not feel like a burden to the world. He wants to be viewed as something different/separate from his father, but he can’t change history.

Z-Zero (what do they do/say in your dying moments?)

He doesn’t let you go. He’ll hold on to you until he is forcefully separated from your body. He just starts to spout a lot of nonsense – things don’t make sense at all, but he can’t help it right now. He can’t think properly when you’re about to leave him. He just wants you to stay.

#one piece #one piece x reader #one piece headcanons #one piece imagines #portgas d ace #angst alphabet #one piece alphabet #portgas d ace x reader #fire fist ace

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