#i like to think that they weren't *positive* at first that they shared a dad but that they both had suspicions

[the-cat-at-the-theatre-door]

Half-siblings.

That's it; that's the post.

#extemporize back chat #sister and brother from different mothers #still one of my fav familial hcs #big buddy little buddy vibes fr #jemima always knows what plato wants to say without him having to say anything at all #he's extremely patient with her to an almost fault #i like to think that they weren't *positive* at first that they shared a dad but that they both had suspicions #due to wibbly wobbly corrupted blood stuff #and they weren't directly told (electra included) until later on even long after they'd sussed it out #team you look just like your father and that can occasionally be disheartening depending on who you ask at what time #anyway this post has no point only them <3 #also you like how i have to gif search my own gifs

[celestemona]

WHEN THEY’RE DADS

and how they deal with their children and domestic life. part ii.

pairing: dad & husband! cyno, kaveh, alhaitham x fem! reader

cw: original characters, slightly ooc to fit the plot, domesticity, fluff. pregnancy is mentioned to introductions but not too elaborated. not beta read. a bit longer than the previous ones.

kazuha’s part | part. i

reblogs and comments are appreciated ♡

 Cyno

If there was something that the General Mahamatra valued beyond justice and absolute truth, it’d be the loyalty of those around him without asking for anything in return. Cyno could count on both hands the number of people he’d risk his life to or who’d have his back, and to be honest, there weren't many of them. Thus, the passing of the years only solidified this philosophy, confirming that trust wasn’t something to be given, but earned — it being the reason why he only kept a certain number of people close to him.

However, this belief had also shown Cyno that some priorities were greater than others, and ensuring your happiness and safety became the main one of them all. Especially when you were also the one carrying his babies.

Your pregnancy announcement was unexpected, but the change in your husband's personality wasn’t. As your belly grew, you could notice that Cyno became a little more clingy with you, enjoying being by your side or placing his warm hands on it to feel his children's kicks. Though, the mahamatra also couldn't help but be more overprotective or bossy towards you, traits that seemed to have intensified over the months. 

Cyno liked to think that his overprotectiveness was justified since not only had he become a first-time father but of twins. His bossy acts weren’t for nothing either. It was just because your husband knew you and your impulsiveness very well, so the slightest thought of the risks that you could put yourself out there of your own free will stressed him out already.

And this last one you seemed to do on purpose to test him since you had put yourself in critical situations more times than he wished to count.

So, to ease his worries and keep an eye on you, the decision to temporarily settle in Vila Aaru was mutually agreed, providing Cyno with a momentary sense of peace knowing that his very pregnant wife would be surrounded by competent and trustworthy people. And then, his children could be born in a comfortable and safe environment.

The decision couldn't have been the best because a few months later and just a few minutes apart, Aryan and Isaar were born on a cold night.

The leader of the Matras still can remember that it was when he was returning to the village from a patrol when he was greeted first by your painful screams and then by the sight of your sweaty and tearful figure. Your husband didn't think twice before taking Candace's place behind your back to give you the support you needed, sharing his strength with you and whispering comforting words in your ear.

Internally, Cyno felt more than terrified for this new stage in his life despite all the previous months of mental preparation. But as he watched in amazement Aryan in his arms and Isaar in yours, the mahamatra concluded that there were no books or scrolls in the world that could describe the feelings that coursed through his veins at that moment. There wasn't enough knowledge that could teach him how to be a father, and even so, he knew he’d learn along the way to be the best he could.

The first few weeks of adaptation were exhausting for both of you. Cyno was on leave from his position, being at yours and his babies disposal and dealing with most of the household tasks, which relieved you a lot. But if he ever thought that nothing would overcome the hardness of his work at Akademiya, the sleepless nights with his newborn twins proved him wrong. 

It wasn't something he complained about or refused to take on, though. He preferred you to rest as much as you could after spending the whole day with the children — it was more his lack of confidence in dealing with the little ones in your absence that tormented him.

As time went on, however, what he thought were difficult tasks became routine, so he could say with some confidence that he had adapted to fatherhood quite well. The bond between father and sons was also something that developed beautifully as the days went by, and some mornings, you’d be greeted with the sweet sight of the General Mahamatra sleeping on the armchair in the twins' room while holding both of them in his muscular arms.

Speaking of the twins, Aryan and Isaar couldn’t be as physically similar to Cyno more than they were already. The babies, just a few months old, have already demonstrated that they share the same personality with each other, which they also take after their father — the stoic and slightly indifferent expression frighteningly similar to Cyno. Aryan was a little more sullen, refusing to acknowledge others' attempts to make him smile while Isaar willingly raised his arms to familiar faces with the intention of getting something in return. 

While you watched them in disbelief, your husband smiled proudly. It seems his children were already good judges of character.

Strange in its own way, but a home full of love. That would be the phrase to define your family. Although both you had divergent methods of raising your children, the twins still had complete freedom of decision about what they judged to be right or wrong. Cyno would never punish his sons for their choices; instead, he’d wisely correct them. Even though outwardly he shows rigidity and authority, Cyno is quite soft when it comes to his family so he can't stay mad at you for long.

It was honestly a strange sight for many, mainly his subordinates and the scholars who knew the man's unorthodox methods of discipline very well.

Even so, they couldn’t help but admit that fatherhood suited him well. Strangely, but still.

They only feared the possibility that in the future the boys would develop a sense of humor as horrible as their father.

Kaveh

If they asked Kaveh what his greatest achievements are, he’d readily answer that there are three of them, although two had the greatest highlights.

Even if the architect was proud of the effort and dedication that led him to give life to the Palace of Alcazarzaray, the importance of the project seemed to be irrelevant compared to the fact that he managed to win you heart. After all, maybe there was nothing so disputed between men and women all around of Teyvat but to capture the attention of the Gem of Liyue. And in a way as ironic and simple as it seemed to be, Kaveh was the only one to be able to accomplish such a feat.

As the younger sister of the Tianquan of the Qixing, it wasn’t surprising that you were also known for your intelligence, elegance and beauty, so it was expected of your people that you’d marry someone with all these qualities and wealth that could satisfy your desires. 

However, they didn't know you as well as Ningguang and how Kaveh came to know you, and so, it was unexpected news that resonated for weeks when you announced your marriage.

At that time, so much uproar from the press and liyuean citizens had made Kaveh doubt himself because, well… did he even have all the means necessary to provide you with a comfortable life? He was slowly recovering from his debts and had barely started building his own house. Compared to you who literally lived in a mansion and ate from a golden platter he had nothing.

Nevertheless, you assured him that no gold or mora in the whole world could equal the love you had for him, only his reciprocal affection was what you were looking for.

And because your husband cares and loves you so deeply, Kaveh couldn't feel anything but thankfulness when you granted him with the greatest pride of his life. His daughter, Zahra.

The baby hadn't even been born and was already very adored by her father. During your pregnancy, Kaveh had been nothing but a passionate and devoted husband, helpful and attentive to both you and her. His passion for art led him to challenge himself and bring only the best when it comes to projecting Zahra's room, as well as designing the crib and its decorations. You couldn't help but watch with a smile on your face as he worked hard to provide only the best for his child.

When Zahra decided to come into the world, your husband's tearful, fascinated face only confirmed what you already knew: Kaveh would be an extraordinary father.

“I swear that I’ll protect you from all the cruelty of this world. And even if the day comes that I don't have the strength to do so, I’ll still keep you safe”, he promised as he placed a kiss on the baby's forehead.

You just smiled with equally teary eyes at the sweet scene.

Kaveh didn't know the meaning of the word tired when it came to his daughter. The blonde man loved having the baby in his arms, and when it came to her basic needs, he was a great help by proudly taking on the tasks. In fact, in the first weeks of Zahra's life, he had refused to let her sleep alone in her new room, and when you insisted on putting her in her crib, Kaveh would spend the entire night by her side. He’d never forgive himself if something happened to his little princess in his absence.

You could just roll your eyes.

As Zahra grew up, she became an increasingly beautiful girl and was much loved by her parents. Her naturally rosy cheeks and golden hair decorated with barrettes or bows made people compare her to a doll. The girl has a beauty and features similar to her father, though her sweet and laughing personality is her own traits. Kaveh feared that one day the evil of the world would take away the melodious sounds of her laughter, but there was a slight mischievous gleam in her golden eyes that betrayed that she was quite clever too.

In addition to her parents' unconditional love, Zahra also has a close relationship with her mother's sister, who has a weak spot for her niece, and with her paternal grandmother. 

Shortly before marrying you, the older woman had tried to invest more in her son's life, now making sure of participating in dinners, commemorative dates or holidays.

For a long time Kaveh believed that he wasn’t worthy of such happiness. After his father's death and his mother's estrangement, the architect had a single objective: trying to survive one day at a time, fighting his own demons and relying on what little was left of his savings. He had never considered himself a man of honor, someone who was worthy of having his own family and a home to return to. In fact, he didn't consider himself a lucky man at all.

And yet, he couldn't feel as fortunate as he did because through all the paths he took and decisions he made, one of them led him to you and gave him the greatest achievements of his life.

Alhaitham

Hardly anyone would admit it out loud, but your presence in the halls of Akademiya was as fresh as a breath of spring air.

As the new Darshan teacher of Haravatat, your intelligence and passion for knowledge were characteristics that not only your students came to admire, but even the sages themselves gushed praise about, which eventually earned you a reputation that spread throughout the dendro nation. Furthermore, your beauty and charisma only complemented your charm, so there were many hearts that you had caught along the way — and consequently also have broken, as the slight bulge beneath your clothes and the golden ring shining on your left ring finger made it very clear who yours already belonged to.

To say that the beginning of your relationship with the Akademiya’s Scribe was even the subject of an academic thesis would be an understatement given that Alhaitham wasn’t someone who was known for his friendliness much less cordiality. In fact, his disinterested expression and acid humor worked precisely as a mechanism to purposefully keep people away from him, and even his friends weren’t immune to his unpleasant comments.

But even though the question remained, the students quickly learned that this attitude would never apply to you.

Like a moth drawn to the light, Alhaitham was equally drawn to you, they concluded. There was something about you that just your presence was enough to generate a small and not so noticeable change in Alhaitham's aura, even if to others he remained as rigid as he was. Besides, the progress of your pregnancy had also shown them that the scribe was as human as they were, he just had a less flashy way of showing his concern and care for his wife.

What the scholars and citizens of Sumeru saw, however, was just the tip of the iceberg compared to the affection you received from your husband when the doors to your home closed. Although Alhaitham hadn't shown his excitement as openly as you, the scribe was internally happy to begin a new stage of life by your side. And you could see this in the number of maternity books and notebooks with notes organized in his office, in the meals he had prepared meticulously thinking about nutritional values ​​or in the care he took to suggest and choose a simple and meaningful name for your baby.

His actions were small and discreet, but enough to prove to you that he already loved the child as much as you did.

Hakim's arrival into the world also showed you the efforts your husband would make for his son. With a smile gracing his lips and slightly teary eyes, Alhaitham allowed himself to express himself a little more in the face of such a beautiful moment. It wasn't something that even you saw frequently and, therefore, you’d certainly make sure to eternalizing the picture forever in your memory.

“Thank you”, was the only thing he could say to you while looking at you with enormous tenderness.

Despite the overwhelming happiness that coursed within him, the scribe also couldn't help but feel a little empty at his grandmother's absence. Even though the longing was something he had managed for a long time now, it was in moments like these that the lady's absence came back. He was sure she’d love meeting you and her great-grandson, but wherever she was, he also knew she was taking care of his family in her own way.

Furthermore, looking at you and the child that slept so peacefully in his arms, Alhaitham knew that there was nothing to fear and that his son would grow up in a home filled with as much love as he was.

Therefore, fatherhood wasn't something that scared Alhaitham nor did it make him doubt his ability to take care of his son. If someone asked him what his biggest challenges were, he wouldn't be able to think of any because every day he was faced with something new and learned from it. Plus, Hakim was a sweet and quiet baby, a mix of both parents' personalities. Understanding his child's needs was as easy as if they were his own.

Still so small, Hakim would be surrounded by reading and multiple knowledge, often being found in the arms of one of his parents while you were working or simply reading for pleasure. You discovered that the baby liked to listen to you or Alhaitham reading aloud, so it wasn't strange to find you or your husband somewhere in the house reciting some academic article with the little one within reach.

When the boy was old enough to sit up, that’d be the time when you’d return to teaching at Akademiya, and even if your baby's presence during classes had already been discussed and authorized, Alhaitham wouldn’t hesitate to take over his care — whether taking him to his own office or to the Sanctuary of Surasthana where he would spend hours enjoying the attention of Lesser Lord Kusanali.

You could say that Alhaitham is a simplistic man. He recognizes his flaws and knows that he came with many of them, which is why he distances himself from so many people. But it was in the moments when he returned home, returning to you and your son who were waiting for him with great enthusiasm that the man thought that there was nothing as perfect as his own home.

.

.

you guys will have to forgive me again but i did not beta-read this part (clearly) nor i'll have the patience to do so because i'm currently traveling at my granny's home and it's so hot here that i couldn't even write this whole headcanon without stop everytime to take a breath of fresh air. therefore, i won't have the patience to look for mistakes now. i'll let it with you tho.

also, i remember i've said in the last part that if perhaps i start to write a genshin dad series i'd write only for the first four man i came up the idea to. however, i'm hypocrital and slut for the sumeru men too so i couldn't stop myself but draft their children biography.

i really hope you've like it so far because, for real, alhaitham's part was the hardest one and somehow i feel like this isn’t good enough to be posted. nevertheless, thank you for your reading :)

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin #genshin x reader #alhaitham #alhaitham x reader #kaveh #kaveh x reader #cyno #cyno x reader #genshin dads au

[jiminrings]

fail-safe (3)

pairing: yoongi x reader

wordcount: 14k

glimpse: you hear everything you've ever wanted, but you don't know if it's too late.

alternatively, yoongi is consumingly yours all the time.

[ part one, intermission, part two, intermission 02, finale ]

[ still angst (but u can breathe now bc it’s the finale), brother’s best friend AND single dad au, jealousy, yearning from all angles, did i say angst alr (mom-wise and brother-wise), fluff, redemption ]

notes: this is it for the chronological series of fail-safe :-) from the bottom of my heart thank you so sooooo much for reading n loving!!! sharing fs with the lot of u is an experience (and era) i'll never forget!!!

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!! | series masterlist

Your trip back home isn’t as rough as you expected it to be. 

Somehow, there’s a huge difference between coming home alone and coming home with Jungkook. There’s an irreplaceable weight in your chest that still flares even at the mention of Yoongi, the anger you have towards him mixing with the trepidation of holding everything in you, not just him, for another three days. There’s an angry rash around your fingertips just waiting for you to pick on your nails until they’re raw because atleast in that way, you get to forget the way Yoongi’s hand picked up yours in the dark.

There’s an ache in you that not even Yoongi and Hyewon could undo by never having met in the first place. It’s long been there, perhaps even older than Haneul. The ache of unfulfillment in you is bred by everything significant in your life — all from your first argument with your mom because of your lack of direction in life, to your latest heartbreak that keeps manifesting into your first ever.

You're no longer angry recounting the fact that you weren't destined for greatness. Namjoon turned out beyond great, world-renowned even, despite living in the same home that you did. Maybe it's not your environment or your lack of a passion that hindered you — maybe, it's just you alone.

Maybe, some part of you had ached too much from reaching (read: loving) too far up, you're doomed to live the rest of your life unfulfilled. Yoongi's never been yours, but the way your heart withdraws from him is as if he's always been.

You've done your share. You've completed your fill. You've worked yourself to the bone to make anything (not something, and certainly not everything) out of yourself that even if you're not decorated in sports like Namjoon nor celebrated in music like Yoongi, you have a fail-safe to fall back on.

You're earning more than the white collars you could recognize from your old yearbook and even if it's to look after someone, to look after Jungkook and his craft, and neither use your actual degree nor make a name out of yourself — a part of you feels fulfilled.

If being fulfilled meant being in the shadows as a manager; if it meant caring for someone in a professional context yet in a way you've always known with practice, with love, through the years– you'll take it.

You'll take the peace of being fulfilled without a trophy than to be listless trying to compete for first place.

You're fulfilled now to be sitting at the passenger seat of your own car because despite having never been to your place anymore, Jungkook fought with you in order to get his hands on the wheel.

You're fulfilled now, even if you only took Jungkook's silly suggestion (read: insistence) of fake-dating him just so you wouldn't have to face your family and Yoongi alone. You're fulfilled despite having no real place in neither men's lives.

Oddly enough, Jungkook wants to be both. He wants to be fulfilled and compete for first  place in a position in your life that he can't even say to your face.

Jungkook holds you right in the middle of the living room, his eyes wide and grin sparkling as if the director had already said action! and the task for him was to act out what being in love looked like, right in front of his female lead's family in her childhood home. (Read: he isn't acting at all.)

“And he’s…?” your mom lets the question hang in the air, eyes trailing from Jungkook’s face, to his bicep, to how his forearm fits snugly against your back and his hand curls around your waist. Your mom visibly looks surprised, although you don’t know if it’s about the fact that you actually came back despite everything, or if it’s because her favorite actor is in her kitchen while she’s sweaty in an apron, or if it’s because said favorite actor leaves no space between the two of you.

“Jeon Jungkook, ma’am. It’s nice to finally meet you,” he greets politely, a little jittery now that he’s face-to-face with her. He’s only heard of the woman she is from you and as much as he tried to picture her from memory, your stories don’t do her much justice. Jungkook’s always loved your kind eyes and your sweet smile, but he knows now where you’ve got it from; in fact, if he turns around right now right after shaking her hand and bowing profusely, you’re showing exactly those to him — that, along with a pair of gazes he can’t place.

Those gazes aren’t kind at all. One is confused and dumbfounded, and the other harbors nothing but hostility and anger.

“Sweetheart, I know you. Who doesn’t?” your mom’s at a loss for breath, mouth still agape as she keeps flickering her eyes between the two of you. She knows that you’re his manager, but what she doesn’t know is why the Jeon Jungkook is in her humble kitchen of all places. He has the most expressive and sincere eyes ever — he can’t possibly mistake your childhood home as a filming set and your waist as a hand rest.

You finally placate her thoughts when you speak, the loaded silence between the three of you (it’s buzzing with tension if you account for the other two) breaking. You actually giggle, your laughter taking the load off her shoulders because you’re happy; you don’t feel an ounce of guilt even if you’re lying to her face. 

“We’re dating, mom,” you grin. “Jungkook’s my boyfriend.”

Jungkook smiles automatically, feeling your hand snake towards his own. His palm’s much bigger than yours yet it’s warmer than you’ve ever imagined, the envelope both of your hands make putting you at ease.

Your mom’s gasp bounces across the walls. Namjoon’s head that’s only been lowered the entire time you’ve been back suddenly whips to look at you and Jungkook. The fridge even lowers its hum to make way for the theatrics aimed at you, yet your eyes are fixed on your mom’s and Jungkook’s alone.

You came home for her and with him. You’re not here for anyone nor anything else because it’s merely a play for your survival, only this time, Jungkook’s hellbent on increasing your odds.

Yoongi freezes evidently, hand tightening around Haneul’s bottle as if it would do anything to release the red from his vision. He staggers silently, breathing suddenly ragged as he stares down at the offending steel cylinder. It’s small. Compact. If anything, he figures it would hurt if he were to throw it at anything. Anyone. Someone, even.

“Wow, that’s.. that’s amazing!” she embraces the both of you, making you and Jungkook share a gaze you only laugh through because he actually looks honored.

“Thank you, ma’am. I’m sorry I haven’t had the time to let you know personally,” he apologizes meekly for a mistake that isn’t even one in the first place, the humility in his tone making your ears perk. It’s Jungkook onceagain with the apologies towards you that he shouldn’t be making at all, and yet, even in front of your family, he persists.

Jungkook apologizes even for the things he hasn’t done, not because he plans on doing them, but because a large part of him wants to be in the actual situation wherein those mistakes were merely possibilities.

“It’s no problem at all. You’re busy getting all these awards, I know how that’s like,” she jokes, unable to stop smiling. “I’m just glad someone’s taking care of my baby.”

“And I don’t plan on missing a single day, ma’am.”

“Stop that,” she chides, shaking her head eagerly. “You can call me mom.”

Yoongi lets the bottle clatter to the sink.

( ♡ ) 

Yoongi hadn’t been able to sleep last night.

He’d woken up in a cold sweat hours before his alarm was supposed to go off to cook dinner for everyone, even if it was only yourfavorite. The anxiousness that bubbled in his veins when he was asleep was going to burst and while Yoongi thought nothing of it initially, he realizes in panic that it was actually pointing to something. 

He woke up next to Haneul and he was placated momentarily, but the knot tied around his heart tightens twofold when he sees Hyewon on the same bed.

On your bed.

The guilt that filled Yoongi then was enough for the bile to creep up into his throat, making him stagger outside to find Namjoon pacing right outside of his own bedroom. His personal phone’s tucked in between his ear and his shoulder, his hands preoccupied scrolling through whatever it is on his work phone. Yoongi momentarily stops his panic to inquire why the hell Namjoon’s panicking and why did he just see a glimpse of your social media accounts pulled up to the screen, your following list staring your brother in the eyes.

“What? What happened? Is it Y/N?”

Namjoon only looked at him with nothing but pity and guilt, the resentment he had for himself bleeding through the way he shifted his gaze to him.

“She saw you and Hyewon.”

Yoongi hadn’t been able to sleep since.  

He didn’t even blink when Hyewon thanked him and said her goodbyes. He wasn’t even fazed when his ex-wife kissed Haneul goodbye and his son only resumed playing with his blocks. Yoongi hadn’t even tended to himself throughout the entire night, surrendering himself to be awake in your couch in the far event that you’d come home.

Yoongi wanted to follow you home, except almost exactly similar to the past, he had chased you out of what’s supposed to be your own home in the first place. The difference now was that he didn’t mean for Hyewon to be on your bed at all, let alone your room, but in the back of Yoongi’s thick skull — he figures that it won’t be enough for you.

Yoongi waits for you all night throughout the morning like a loyal dog waiting for its master, his chest rising up and down in hope yet his chin down in despondence. You do end up coming back home though, but your presence is neither unaccompanied nor for him.

With you is Jeon Jungkook, your boyfriend.

If only Haneul hadn’t asked for his bottle to be brought upstairs because he’s watching cartoons on Yoongi’s laptop, he would’ve collapsed on the floor then and there, uncaring of the way everyone else would be looking down on him.

If only Namjoon’s gaze wasn’t flitting to him to gauge his reaction because it’s the first time he’s, or by everyone else rather, hearing that you have a boyfriend, Yoongi would put his hands on his head and curse until his piercing migraine suddenly disappears.

If only your mother wasn’t here, frozen in the kitchen mostly because of what you just revealed and who you came home with, and partly because she’s waiting for him to finish washing Haneul’s bottle, he would’ve thrown up right in the sink.

Yoongi gathers all his pain and keeps it shut within himself until he gets you alone, catching you by the staircase when everyone else has dispersed.

“I’m sorry. Namjoon told me what you saw and-…” he stops himself when you look up at him with an innocent yet empty gaze, the weight of it (or lack thereof) startling him. “Let me explain why Hyewon was there in your bed.”

“I don’t want to listen,” you enunciate clearly, keeping your voice down because both Jungkook and Haneul are a few steps away. You do it for their sake and not for Yoongi’s, the bitterness in your chest physically restricting you to think about his state.

Yoongi pushes on, breath already catching in his throat when you’re still stiff as a stone. You haven’t even made a break for it yet; he only unconsciously held onto you out of fear that you’ll be out of his sight. “She was in the area because her parents are old and they don’t know much about selling their house here a-and well, she knows that I did the same for my parents when they sold ours. Nothing happened. I just helped her with the sale! S-she was playing with Haneul in the living room while I napped a-and, I just… when I woke up, they were right next to me. Y/N, I swear, nothing-…”

You shake your head fervently, the innocence of his reason doing little to break the seal in your stomach. You feel it dropping once again and even if Yoongi’s right, even if he’s saying the truth, the sight alone of him appearing to be a part of a happy family jogs up all the pain.

“I don’t want to listen and you don’t have to explain either.”

“But I hurt you. That’s why I want to explain,” he stutters. Yoongi’s eyes are so glassy, you could see your reflection in them.

“Oh. So you know,” you whisper, teeth harshly digging into your bottom lip. “I hate Hyewon for a lot of things but not for being the mother of your child. That’s out of my reach. I get it. She’s his mom and that’s that,” you admit, the vacancy in your chest and on your ring finger reminding you what Yoongi had never given you the chance for. “What I hate is that you let her sleep in my room. Seeing Haneul in there is good. You and him? That’s okay because I let you sleep in there,” you heave, voice close to breaking because of how you force it to be tamped down. “I hate how you let her sleep in my room, Yoongi. I-I, I fucking hate it because it’s just like that time I caught you practically fucking her in my room.”

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t-…” Yoongi sniffles, tears already pouring. The staircase in your house is far too narrow to hold the both of you, let alone your history. “I didn’t think. I didn’t notice, a-and, I didn’t think. I didn’t think at all, Y/N. I thought it was okay for a split second because we looked like-…”

“A family,” you finish for him. “I get it. I do,” you nod your head fervently, your own hand snaking to your lips to stop the sharp inhale that pains you from the inside. “Almost everyone loses their sense of reason when it comes to family.”

“I didn’t notice she already entered the room. But I-I woke up,” Yoongi still swears up and down, adamant on his truth that you aren’t open to entertaining because he’s hurt you far too many times before. “Hyewon and I… we’re not. We’re co-parenting.”

“Still a family.”

“But-…”

“What the hell do you want to hear from me, Yoongi?” you snap, voice finally toning down when you notice faint footsteps coming from the second floor. “Do you— do you want me to agree with you and say that the three of you aren’t a family? And for what, s-so that could somehow excuse you for everything you’ve done? I don’t even know what family’s supposed to mean at this point!”

From upstairs, Namjoon suppresses a sob.

“My mom doesn’t know a single thing about all of this. I-I can’t even cry to her because I’m thinking of you. I’m thinking of protecting you, your son that she looks to as a grandson, a-and even your mom who’s her best friend,” you break into tears, ignoring the baby towel that Yoongi keeps on his person all the time that he offers to you. You sound far too defeated, and maybe you actually are, that Yoongi lets you push past him. “Meanwhile, my own brother probably knows everything but his first instinct is to protect you. Not me, his actual sibling. You.”

.

.

.

Namjoon had been waiting for you upstairs. He’s been barricading the door to the bathroom because he knows you can’t go to bed without your nightly shower, and because he knows that out of every space in the house, it must be the only one left wherein you can be truly alone with no hint of Yoongi.

“We have to talk,” he gets out as soon as you make eye contact with him, the towel that’s slung on your shoulder almost falling at the urgency to which he pulls you aside.

“It can wait.”

“I need to apologize,” he pleads once again, gripping your wrist gently like he had always done when you were kids to get you to listen to him.

“And I said it can wait. I can’t stand you right now,” you grit, the tears on your cheeks barely being dried up when Namjoon, unsurprisingly, decides to apologize to you within the same timeframe as Yoongi. They hadn’t planned it at all — the guilt and remorse weighed far too heavy for them to actually communicate.

“Where will you sleep?” he asks instead, exhaling heavily because you’re insistent on not crying again in barely your first night back, again. “Where will Jungkook sleep?”

“We’ll sleep together in a hotel.”

“Hotel?” Namjoon asks loudly, eyes bulging in shock. His voice is far too loud that everyone in the house (and maybe even your neighbors) must have heard him. “That’s nonsense. This is home, Y/N. You don’t have to book a hotel.”

“It is?” you seethe, your closed fists tightening on themselves painfully. “Did you also say the same thing to Hyewon? To Yoongi in the first place?”

“It’s my fault for-…”

You’re unaware that you and Namjoon are neck to neck until your mom chimes in out of nowhere, her gentle eyes asking more questions than she’s actually uttering. “What’s going on?” she switches her gaze between you and him. “Are the two of you fighting?”

“No,” you answer in unison, unable to fit a relieved sigh in between the terse silence.

“It’s nothing, mom,” Namjoon puts a hand on your shoulder, his smile tight and tense. “I was just telling Y/N that she doesn’t have to book a hotel.”

“Why would you book a hotel?” she gasps incredulously, her tone being the exact copy of Namjoon’s just a second ago.

“It’s just crowded in here, mom. That’s all,” you muster a sheepish smile, your posture slouching the more you realize that there’s no way out.

“I can ask Yoongi and Haneul to transfer to Namjoon’s so you can-..”

“No-!” you interrupt her in a hurry, breath hitching at the mention of him. “No, no. That’s unnecessary. I don’t want to sleep in my room.”

There’s a loaded pause between all of you, even between the door that Yoongi has his back on as he listens in.

“You and Jungkook can take my room instead,” Namjoon insists, his offer only barely scratching the surface of the apology that you truly deserve.

“Great. Thanks,” you conclude, already halfway into the bathroom when the sudden thought strikes you, your curiosity (and limit, by extension) getting the best of you to ask Namjoon while your mom’s still here. “How… how much longer are they gonna stay here?”

“I… haven’t asked yet,” Namjoon admits, the animosity you have towards Yoongi not going unnoticed by your mother.

“You need to ask then,” you quip. “This house is too small to have everyone and anyone.”

( ♡ ) 

Jungkook woke up in peace from sleeping in a bed that isn’t his.

Even before you actually got to shower (and not just sit on the toilet seat whilst trying to compose yourself) since you forgot to retrieve your clothes from your suitcase, Jungkook was already starfished in the middle of Namjoon’s bed. It’s a touching sight atop your own blanket and bug spray that your brother put in for you.

The two of you are far from okay. As a matter of fact, the only people you’re truly okay with in the house is your mom and Haneul; despite knowing that fully, Jungkook still dived in head-first in the middle of your situation. You’ve tried to dissuade him all throughout the five-hour long car ride, and not once did he even budge.

He’s here for you and no one else. He’s snoring in the middle of your sibling’s bed whom you aren’t in good terms with. He’s at ease with you in a province that he’s never stepped foot in, all because he felt compelled to protect you somehow and wouldn’t take no for an answer. 

Jungkook cares for you, enough to write a note and place it beside him just before he went to sleep, telling you that he’s a messy sleeper and to either jolt him awake to move or just manhandle him to the side so you could also sleep on the bed.

You go for the latter, trying to pry him as gently as you could (but even if you just hauled him like a sack of potatoes, he still wouldn’t wake up because he’s at ease too much; it’s you, of course) before finally calling it a night.

You may have lied awake mulling over the perpetual ache in your chest, but you didn’t cry at all.

Eventually, you fall asleep to the sound of Jungkook snoring.

.

.

.

Jungkook may have slept earlier than you, but he makes sure that you stay in late. (read: he physically tucked you into bed so snugly, you probably can’t even shift your shoulders by a centimeter). He wants to pull his weight around a house he hasn’t even been in, even if you hadn’t asked him to — you’d never do, because even as a manager and not as a fake-girlfriend, you don’t let him lift a single finger. Simply put, Jungkook feels this massive pull, not to perform for you, but serve you.

He finds himself quietly going down the stairs, still in his socks because you had stolen his house slippers just last night and he doesn’t have the heart to ask you to give them back. He’s quickly figured out the kitchen, getting a soup started before he allows himself to sit on the dining table by himself.

It turns out that Jungkook’s not alone at all.

“Hi.”

His ears perk at the soft voice that comes from the side of him, eyes immediately setting on the toddler who’s still dressed in his pajamas and has a similar case of bedhead to him.

“Hey buddy. Nice bangs,” Jungkook chuckles invitingly, pulling out a chair for Haneul to which he gets up on easily by himself. 

“My appa cut them for me,” he answers with a smile, shyly pointing to Jungkook’s forehead with an eager finger. “You have bangs too. Who cut yours?”

“My girlfriend. I think she can be a hairstylist one day,” he hums, not feeling guilty over lying to him when it’s only a half, easily-corrected lie. You may not be Jungkook’s actual, real girlfriend, but you did cut his bangs when he asked you to. He couldn’t be bothered going to the salon and you didn’t have the energy to argue with him otherwise, so that’s how he ended up with choppy, viral (it only became viral because he has them) bangs that gained him a few dozen articles or so.

Jungkook doesn’t have kids of his own, but what he does have are several nephews and nieces. He’s the youngest of four children, and that’s perhaps the reason why he could empathize with you. He’s never been through what you have, and although you would never wish for him to do so, a part of him wants to know what it’s like — not because he seeks the pain, but because he wants to know how he could empathize with you better

With Jungkook being Jungkook, it’s perhaps the reason why he’s one of the gifted few people who could strike up a sensible conversation with a toddler and make them laugh without doing anything at all.

Something about Jungkook makes Haneul laugh so loudly, he wakes up almost everyone in the house in peace. Even Jungkook’s attempt at lame jokes tickle Haneul more than the way Namjoon’s ever tried in earnest to make him laugh.

You’ve already slinked past the two of them on the dining table, tending to the soup and the few hundred side dishes Jungkook started on but paused just to talk to Haneul.

“Haneul, don’t believe your uncle-…” you chime over a playful dig that Jungkook makes in your expense, the giggles that had only been filling your ears just seconds ago instantly ceasing when you notice Yoongi standing near you.

“Uncle?” he raises his brow at you, turning his attention to his son. “Haneul, what did I say about talking to strangers?”

“But he’s not a stranger. I saw him in that movie!” he frowns, the immediate awe that slips out of Jungkook’s lips not helping his case in the slightest.

“Still a stranger,” Yoongi smiles tightly, his exhale dragging out as he mulls over the eerily domestic sight of the three of you.

“But he’s Uncle Kook,” Haneul reasons with him, pointing his finger at you. “He’s auntie’s boyfriend.”

.

.

.

Yoongi’s softened a little bit since breakfast.

He was never mad at Haneul in the first place (more like halfhearted because he still stands by his lesson of not teaching him to talk to strangers, even if they’re a worldwide-famous actor, but those are not his words at all) but what he is annoyed about is the scene that he walked into.

It looked far too natural for you to look like Haneul’s mom and for Jungkook to look like him, maybe even better as a dad despite not having children at all, that he thought he was seeing red.

Haneul’s lying on his shoulder as they rewatch Bluey for the second time in the living room, the shadow of your alleged boyfriend walking past him until he registers the accent, later doing a quick turnaround that makes Yoongi ultimately irritated and Haneul more than happy.

“Oh cool. I love Bluey!” Jungkook says sincerely, inviting himself to sit on the lone sofa chair to watch the episode.

“Wow, you’re just so… quirky,” Yoongi mutters under his breath with a roll of his eyes, his snarky remark making Jungkook’s ears tingle. The latter scoffs slyly, making him finally acknowledge Jungkook, albeit sarcastically. “So what do you do, Jungkook?”

Even before he could answer though, Haneul does it for him with an excitement that only comes out whenever he’s talking about his favorites.

“We watched his movies in the cinema, appa! Remember?”

“Did we?” Yoongi narrows his eyes, playing his huff into a cough. He repurposes the tinge of embarrassment that he feels into snark, running a hand through his hair cockily. “I’d for sure remember an actor if they were good.”

( ♡ ) 

“Where’s your brother? I need him to do the heavy lifting.”

Your mom asks you with an urgency that parents only past the age of forty could possess, her lips already parted awaiting your response towards a question she asked just two seconds ago. 

Even if you weren’t engrossed on an episode of Bluey (Jungkook and Haneul put you into it and you get their laser focus now) just now, you still wouldn’t know about your brother’s whereabouts. Yoongi saves you this time, his response piquing both yours and Jungkook’s interest.

“He’s in practice. Joon took Haneul with him so he could learn too.”

Jungkook looks up from his phone sharply, eyes wide in eagerness. He and Yoongi haven’t even looked at each other since yesterday yet their coordination (read: competitiveness) syncs with the other at the exact second, their insistence on tagging along a menial task making you jolt.

“I’ll come with, mom!”

“I’ll come with, auntie.”

It’s not a competition, yet Jungkook jumps up to stand so quickly, his head almost brushed the ceiling. “Let’s go, babe,” he holds out a hand for you, making you clear your throat as you’re still trying to gauge the situation.

“But what about Yoongi? Poor thing, he’ll be left alone,” your mom awes, her pout only deepening when Yoongi pretends to look crestfallen at being overlooked. He doesn’t have to pretend that much because despite not being the biggest fan of grocery-shopping, especially in your area because it always smelled of eggs despite barely carrying any eggs, he’ll jump at any task to impress your mom, and you by extension.

“I don’t think you should worry-…” you start, already being interrupted in an instant.

“Oh come on, Y/N. Two pairs of hands are better than one! They really have to do some heavy lifting because I forget to tell you about that one time your aunts hounded me for-…” she trails off while telling you a story about your supposedly huge extended family, blissfully unaware that there’s two men fighting to open the door for the both of you.

Yoongi’s driving his car as the most spacious option, making Jungkook snicker under his breath as he blames himself for not bringing his SUV which is clearly more expensive than whatever Yoongi’s driving, even if you elbow him lightly by the ribs because you didn’t ask him to do that.

“Mom, what are you doing here? Go sit in the front,” you nudge her, unwilling to sit next to Yoongi in an enclosed space.

“Oh, right! Sorry, I was just used to you always taking shotgun whenever Yoongi’s driving,” she squeals, fondly clapping to herself as she revisits the memory. “Do you remember that, sweetheart? You’d always fight with Namjoon because Yoongi got his license first.”

It may only be your mom who’s leaning against the center console to look at you in the back, but it doesn’t mean that Yoongi’s ever taken off his attention from you.

“I remember,” Yoongi smiles, looking at you from the rearview mirror. “I never forget.”

.

.

.

The grocery store hasn’t changed one bit. 

It still smelled of eggs, the lights still aren’t as bright as they should be, and there’s still trinkets that you’ve always been swayed by being displayed near the register.

You’re taking it all in after not having been back for five years, whereas Yoongi strolls right in, but never ahead of you, as if he’s visited multiple times already since he left your town. 

Your mom and Jungkook are side by side as he asks her a question you can’t even discern, only getting to know his actual agenda when you hear his sneakers skidding against the floor as he runs towards the pushcarts. 

Yoongi, without even knowing the full context, runs after him because he didn’t want to come in second place for whatever it is that Jungkook’s challenging him to.

“I’ll steer the cart,” Jungkook presents definitively, his hand raised mid-air as if he’s being graded for eagerness alone. He looks like he wants to prove himself even if it’s only you and your mom present; no director, no producer in sight who sizes him up. 

“No. I’ll do it,” Yoongi argues out of nowhere, his bruised hands reclaiming the cart under Jungkook’s grasp. He’s not even looking at your mom because his gaze is only fixed on Jungkook who’s just two tugs away from actually spitting at him.

“I said it first,” your pretend-boyfriend forcefully pulls the hunk of metal away from Yoongi, the latter coming along with it for the briefest of seconds before he does the same, this time with Jungkook gasping.

“What, are you method-acting for your next role as a cart-steerer?” 

Your mom’s a little perplexed at the scene before her, lips parting in both concern and amusement because for a pair of people who haven’t met each other before, Yoongi and Jungkook are oddly competitive. They want to provesomething, anything, and maybe everything so bad, they neglect the fact that they look ridiculous fighting over a pushcart. 

“We actually need two,“ she says to no one in particular, thinking out loud as she goes through her grocery list. “I think maybe even three because-…”

“I’ll get it,” Jungkook rushes out in panic, almost bumping into you in the process. You were only gone for a minute to retrieve your phone from the car and yet he already looks breathless, the knot between his eyebrows untangling when he realizes that it’s you. “Oh. Sorry, babe.”

“I’ll get it, Koo,” you murmur, catching the tail end of what your mom said about the pushcarts. Jungkook’s cheeks are tainted pink in frustration and you can’t help but to be concerned, the back of your hand already flitting against his forehead before you know it. “Are you okay? Sorry, the AC in here is not like the AC in the city.”

“Huh, what? Oh no, it’s okay. I just got into this heated cart argument,” he waves you off, eyes rapidly moving between you, your mom, and Yoongi who’s mirroring his exact actions, except for the glaring hint of annoyance with the way he’s standing so close to you.

“Cart argument? What’s-…”

“We need meat.” 

You barely even have a chance to digest what Jungkook’s saying to you before you see him glitch right in front of you in a hurry, the only words to register clearly in your mind being your mom’s. She’s absent-mindedly talking herself through her grocery list (as she always does) and yet the two men right next to her hang onto her every word, the speed they take off on giving you no clue to why they’re acting as such.

“I’ll get it, auntie!” Yoongi gets out even before the wheels of his cart could cooperate, momentarily tripping over himself. Jungkook sputters at that, the laughter that builds in his throat being interrupted because he realizes that the other guy is ahead of him and he simply cannot bear that. 

“Beef. We need beef, right, mom? How many kilos. Like… ten? Okay. I’ll get it!” Jungkook dashes even if he’s never been in this grocery store before; even if your mom hasn’t said a single word to either of them.

You’re left dumbfounded in the middle of the store, your gaze unable to locate the distinct sounds of both of their sneakers skidding against the floor. 

“I didn’t even say anything,” your mom mutters in confusion, eyes flitting to you with a wonder you can’t place because even if the both of you are lost, she seems to have a better idea than you do. “Are they… competing over you, sweetie?”

“Competing? Me? Why would you even say that, mom?” you huff, leaning against the cart as you snatch her list to get the things she’s actually looking for.

“I don’t know,” she lulls, shrugging carelessly before nudging you. “Jungkook’s your boyfriend and well, I assume Yoongi’s always wanted to be in his position.”

“How did you even come to that conclusion?”

“Small town. Few people. Cute girl, cute guy,” she places, the end of her hypothesis being accompanied by a chuckle. When she says it like that, it sounds far too easy — it sounds far too seamless, you almost wish it was exactly that. “I didn’t even take the news that Yoongi was going abroad seriously because I thought it was a joke. I thought he could never move on from here or Namjoon,” your mom pouts, tilting her head when you freeze. “Much more, he could never move on from you.”

“He did,” you answer through gritted teeth, the grip you have on her list making the paper crumple underneath your hold.

Your mom doesn’t know everything. In fact, you don’t even know if she knows anything at all. You don’t despise her for her lack of involvement because you want to keep her from the chaos of your burdens, and you’ve always wanted to keep it that way.

But the way she speaks now, so full of conviction and faith, you find yourself despising it. She speaks as surely as the way Yoongi speeds past the both of you, weaving through aisles to get items she didn’t ask for, competing for and against a higher power (read: you) that Jungkook himself seeks. 

She says it so surely, it’s as if she knows about every waking thought that Yoongi’s ever had in your absence.

“It doesn’t look like he did.”

You ponder over your mom’s adoration for Yoongi, most of which you can’t decipher if it’s misplaced or not. You know he’ll always have a special place in her heart and in her home because she’s known him even before he was born because she’s best friends with Mrs. Min. 

Yoongi has a place in your life, no matter if it’s in your own or in the lives of the people you love. He probably has a modern penthouse in Namjoon’s life, the decoration in it improving over time. On the other hand, Yoongi probably occupies an ancestral cabin in your mom’s life that’s been well-maintained for longer than he’s ever been alive, the decor in it being handmade and resilient through the years. 

In your life, however, you can’t tell how and if Yoongi occupies it in the first place. For the longest time, his place in your life had come in the form of a mansion that not even a single architect nor engineer could ever think of. For a moment too, Yoongi’s place in your heart came in the form of a little house on a vast farm overlooking the mountains and the sea. Throughout all the houses that Yoongi’s shape-shifted to in your life, you doubt now if he could ever turn into them again.

When you think of Yoongi, all you see is your room. 

When you see Yoongi, all you could remember is your childhood house and its shortcomings in your life, especially when you needed to come home to it— to him, the most.

“I’ll pay, mom,” Jungkook snaps you out of your reverie, his whine making your ears ring.

“What? No, Jungkook. This is all too much,” you refuse vehemently, trying to fight him from extending his black card any further.

“It’s not. This is for your family anyway. I, I might have even grabbed extra portions for myself because mom said she’ll repeat tomorrow what she did for lunch today,” he grins, momentarily losing himself to the sight of you that he doesn’t even notice he’s in the process of being one-upped by Yoongi.

“Jungkook, baby, I’ll feel-…”

“I paid for it, auntie,” Yoongi announces, making your lips part and Jungkook’s jaw drop.

“You shouldn’t have, Yoongi,” you scold him softly, a whine already building at the back of your throat but he waves you off easily. Your mom’s thanking him profusely in the background, and while Yoongi’s pleased with the attention, his gaze remains on you.

“But I wanted to,” he insists, pursing his lips. “I should.”

“You’re not family,” is what you want to say.

“But I want to be,” is what he wants to scream.

Wordlessly, Yoongi puts a plastic toy ring he bought from the register into your bag. It’s pink and it’s star-shaped, its mold still the same from all those years ago.

.

.

.

You barrel into your mom’s room just to see Namjoon.

You bit at the chance of giving him the stuff he’s asked for from the grocery as per your mom, taking advantage of her focus on organizing the groceries downstairs to have a one-on-one with your brother.

“You have to make Yoongi drive into the city tonight. Either that or he flies to the US. The reunion is already tomorrow,” you seethe, crossing your arms as he sighs in defeat.

“It’s already late. Yoongi’s driving with Haneul, a kid, alone,” he emphasizes, running a hand through his hair as he himself is troubled by you being in a bind over everything. “And he can’t book a flight back on such short notice.”

“Short notice? What, did he just happen to book a one-way flight and not a round trip one?” you snort in amusement, shaking your head in disbelief. The thought actually cracks you up because out of the three of you, Yoongi happened to be the one more adept to websites despite your limited materials back then. Namjoon remains silent, and with how serious he looks, your face falls.

You can’t believe Yoongi at all.

“He did? You’ve gotta be kidding me, Joon,” you groan, throwing your head back. “What, does that mean Yoongi gets to stay in our home while we’re in this godforsaken family reunion?”

Namjoon delivers yet another blow, his revelation making you more enraged than the last.

“Mom invited them.”

“What? Why?!” you exclaim, chest rising in frustration. “Yoongi’s not family, Namjoon. Atleast not for me.”

He doesn’t miss your added remark at the end of your sentence, the underhandedness of it making him look down on the floor. 

Namjoon feels guilty, he really does, but he can’t seem to make it right. He couldn’t even fight you in insisting to apologize that night.

For each day that you try to delay the inevitable of confronting him and letting him taking the fall, of letting him apologize, Namjoon feels more like a big failure for an older brother than he already is. 

“But he used to be,” he says under his breath, looking up at you with a stubbornness you can’t place. “Your lifetime versus those five years — which one amounts to more?”

( ♡ ) 

Everyone gushes over Jungkook.

In an altitude higher than the mountainside that you’re in now, the aunts, uncles, and cousins you didn’t even know you have squeal over your fake boyfriend. By the fifth relative, you’ve already got your routine down of letting them hug you and kiss your cheek before holding Jungkook’s bicep, acting as his bodyguard to make sure they don’t squeeze him too hard or not at all.

“Oh my god, Y/N. Jeon Jungkook is your boyfriend?!”

“I knew it, I knew you were gonna have a partner who’s famous! I dreamed about it when you were-…”

“If that’s your boyfriend, then who’s he?” your cousin (?) whispers to you, cutting himself off as he turns his gaze to Yoongi and Haneul. They’re most certainly not your family, meaning that they’re unrelated to everyone present, so what your relatives (some more nosy than others) can’t wrap their heads around is the fact that there are strangers in your family reunion.

It takes one, two times for your mom and Namjoon to explain who they are and what they’re doing here in the first place, the chorus of nods eventually signaling that they’ve moved on. Some of them could even recall Mr. and Mrs. Min from the neighborhood, and Yoongi could only nod.

It’s not that he doesn’t belong right now — he actually feels the opposite. Yoongi feels that he has a place amongst a barrage of relatives he’s not affiliated to by neither blood nor paper, and it pains him; not because he’s scared of belonging, but because you probably don’t think the same way.

Haneul runs to him underneath the umbrella he’s isolated himself at, his son grasping an assortment of cash, food, and juiceboxes Yoongi most certainly did not pack in Haneul’s backpack from the night before.

“Auntie’s family is really nice, appa. Look what they gave me,” he shows everything that his hands could carry, breathing heavily in excitement as he explains that your relatives told him to come back once his hands are empty.

“Oh dear. They really think you’re adorable,” he laughs, pocketing Haneul’s cash (he swears he’ll give it back) and hiding some of the snacks he’s been given so he wouldn’t give himself heartburn eating too many at once.

Yoongi’s smiling from ear to ear, sitting Haneul in his lap as he overlooks the view of your town from above. Everything looks so small and delicate, you’d almost think none of what laid downhill ever even mattered. He didn’t get views like these in New York. 

Yoongi didn’t get people like you in New York.

“Mama’s family isn’t this nice,” Haneul speaks out of nowhere, his thoughts uttered out loud directed more-on to himself than it is for his dad. Yoongi stops in his tracks in trepidation, shoulders tensing over what his son just said. “They never play with me like this. Not like auntie.”

He knows Hyewon’s relatives, albeit not that well. Her family members in the US were not this kind, not this warm, even to a child who’s actually related to them.

Yoongi’s stuck in his thoughts the whole time Haneul sips on his juice, finally being snapped into his reality nowwhen you approach their direction. His son waves at you excitedly even if you’ve just crossed paths minutes ago.

“Here, Haneul,” you hold out a container to him, the gentle smile on your face limited to only him yet Yoongi, for a lack of grace, pretends it’s also for him. “I tried my best to make it look like Bluey,” you chuckle, pointing to the mini sculpture made out of the marshmallows and blueberries that your relatives set aside for him.

Haneul beams at you, thanking you profusely. If only he wasn’t sat on Yoongi’s lap and therefore grounded, he would’ve launched himself at you to hug your legs.

Yoongi takes the hat right off his head, putting it on you while you’re crouched next to his son.

“It’s hot,” he explains, his heart continuously speaking beats the longer that you linger beside Haneul and the longer that he giggles in excitement. “I know you get headaches easily.”

( ♡ ) 

Despite being reachable, Yoongi still yearns for you.

He yearns for you even if you’re only within arm’s reach, sitting near you but never close enough at the long table because with you, he feels safe. He laughs in the background like it’s a sitcom to every joke and every episode of banter thrown around him. He doesn’t feel out of place with your family — he feels out of place with you.

He’s never been a wickedly jealous type. Even when he and Hyewon were still together and she cheated on him, Yoongi felt more resentful than he was jealous. He didn’t feel this type of way; he didn’t feel inferior. He didn’t feel like he was nursing a loss in his life because he has no choice but to. Yoongi had managed to divorce Hyewon because it didn’t work out between them, and that was that.

Yoongi can neither divorce you nor pull away from you because you’ve never been with each other. He harbors no resentment for you and that scares him, not because he wants to hate you so badly, but because he feels as if everything you’ll do to him, he’ll take it.

Yoongi will take it even if you set a plate for Jungkook despite unconsciously forgetting what he’s always disliked eating when you were still kids. He’ll take the serving tray from your hands still, uncaring if eating the tiniest bite of the food you’ve passed gives him an allergic reaction because you were the one who offered.

He’ll take it even if you hold Jungkook’s bicep in a hurry when there’s a bug that’s getting awfully close to your drink. Yoongi would walk to where you sit and dispose of it wordlessly because even Jungkook himself is scared of bugs. He doesn’t mind if you don’t thank him, because atleast now when he looks at you from a distance, you’re sitting in relaxation and you no longer have to hold your boyfriend.

He’ll endure the jealousy that burns through his throat more than the poorly-made, highly-alcoholic vodka your uncle made himself. He’ll hold onto the poison that is yearning and how he’ll feel like his throat would close up because if you were still young, in this setting of free rein, except you were still in love him like you used to be and he’s in love with you like he is now, neither you and Yoongi would be hurting.

Yoongi will take it. He’ll take the nothing that you give him and give you the everything that you don’t ask for anymore.

Five years versus the rest of your lifetime that you spent being in love with him is only miniscule. The suffering that he’s going through now is only a speck of the years you’ve spent in an unrequited love.

Unlike you, Yoongi’s weak. If he were to say it outloud to you, you’ll never agree because you’ve never regarded yourself otherwise. You’ll go on this tangent that you’ve always been weak, influenced by the times that Yoongi had chastised you for your lack of a passion. 

To you, Yoongi had been right in a way.

To Yoongi, he’s always been in the wrong.

He’s crying to you now that the both of you are alone, overlooking the small town he used to be keen on getting out of. Now, more than ever, Yoongi wants to stay in it. He wants to stay with you.

“Why is everything with you so hard?” Yoongi whispers, his tears stinging badly from the corner of his eyes to the point that he can only make out shapes. He’s unkempt and frantic as if his life flashed before his eyes and there’s nothing he could do about it, voice strained like much of the times he’s drank himself to sleep.

He resembles Haneul at the moment. He’s always had because there’s not one bit of Hyewon in his son’s features or personality, but he looks especially like him now that he’s crying. The back of his hands harshly dig into his face, sobs bursting right from his throat. “Why do I make everything so hard for us? Why can’t I— w-why can’t I make it right for once?”

There’s a tremble to your chest that you ignore earnestly, the presence of it enough to scare you because it’s familiar; too familiar. Seeing your past play out in front of you in the form of a seemingly content family sleeping on your bed is one thing, but it’s another to see its patriarch crumble in front of you. It’s different to see your past pleading in front of you for just the slightest bit of your attention.

As a matter of fact, it’s different now because you resemble Yoongi the most. 

“You never tried,” you seethe, jumping the gun before you even try to decipher what’s in the barrel. It’s a bullet you fire haphazardly that comes from your pocket that you’ve always held onto. It’s a misplaced, misshapen, old bullet that you force into a gun that Yoongi passed onto you.

Right now, Yoongi doesn’t resemble Haneul, and neither does he resemble his ex-wife. 

He resembles you with the way his eyes are clearly swimming in hurt while you avoid looking at his, just to relieve the painstaking feeling of guilt and longing compacted into a sob.

“I never tried?” Yoongi exhales shakily, his quivering hands running through his hair to tug on them.“I never tried?”

You hear yourself clearly even if it’s his voice. The tremble and the anger, even all the way to the blind hope.

“I kept trying to reach out to you every single time. Every single birthday, every single Christmas, every insignificant holiday I could search up!” Yoongi cries — he actually thrashes with the way he sobs, shoulders shaking violently. “I didn’t try? If I didn’t try, try looking at every page of my passport to see all the stamps there are whenever fucking Jungkook was reported to be in another country,” he spits his name like poison, the vitriol behind it, however, never catching up to what he feels about himself.

You resemble Yoongi the most because you stand untethered, eyes blurring and lips quivering, yet you only watch him lose himself before thinking of uttering a single word.

“I’m selfish, I’m an asshole, and I’m fucking insufferable. I can’t even apologize to you correctly,” Yoongi lists, chest rising up and down too heavily, he feels like it’ll give out. “But I love you, Y/N. I-I might be every bad thing in your life right now and I own up to that. I’m still trying to be the best for you.”

Not only does Yoongi resemble you — he’s actually become you.

“You can call me the vilest names ever but you can’t say that,” he grits, teeth chattering not from the cold he’s put himself in, but because he can’t stop mentioning your name in between. “You can’t say I never tried because I always have. I’ll never stop becausethat’s what it takes,” Yoongi mutters; because, he says, not if.

“I love you,” he says it far too clearly for someone who’s drunk; far too sincerely for someone who had spent the better part of his life putting it through your head that he can’t return your affection. “I’ve always loved you.”

( ♡ ) 

You don’t feel good.

There’s a fever that’s starting to bloom from the base of your skull all the way to your toes, the abnormal warmth you feel in your chest making you unable to interact with everyone else outside of your room. Jungkook had left with your uncles before dawn to go fishing in the nearby lake and never would you think to inconvenience him; to tend to someone like you for something as minor as a fever, or for anything at all.

You already have a system down for taking care of yourself when you’re ill. It started when neither your mom nor your brother were home with you, and it was finally perfected when you had to live completely alone in the big city. All you had to do was gather all the energy you have, spend it at the start to get everything you could possibly need and put them all at the side of your bed, and rest until everything no longer hurts.

The major flaw with your system now is that you don’t have the energy at all. You can’t build up the strength to get up, walk across the hall and interact with your relatives, and rummage through groceries to get what you need without being questioned; you can’t build up the sense of importance you have for yourself to ask for help.

Namjoon comes into your room before you could dance around the idea of asking him to get you water, all because he has this innate sense of guilt in him and you could utilize it to your advantage. Your brother gets ahead of you before you could even register that he’s here with you, his eyes sullen and pleading.

“Can we talk?”

“I can’t exactly storm off right now,” you rasp, your voice fading out into a low chuckle.

“Do you want to talk when you’re able to storm off?” he asks sincerely with a small smile, his hand fixing your hair as gently as he could without making your migraine ring further. “If you do though, then you probably might never hear me out again.”

You stay silent because he is right, but Namjoon feels otherwise. He feels as if he hasn’t been doing anything right at all and you existing separate from him is a constant reminder. His career is at its peak but he thinks he could go higher; his relationship with you is deteriorating and he doesn’t think it could possibly be worse.

“I’m sorry for being a shitty brother,” he apologizes, the first thing out of his mouth being the last thing that floods his mind before he goes to sleep at night. “I should’ve never defended Yoongi, even Hyewon by extension.”

The heat behind your eyes isn’t all from your fever. The tears that prick your eyes aren’t because of the pressure in your head, but because of the fact that you haven’t heard Namjoon apologize to you in a long time; you haven’t talked this sincerely for even longer

“I should’ve put you first,” he sniffles, muttering apologies in between his pauses for finding the right words that would make it okay; that would somehow undo all that he’s been an accomplice to. “I should’ve been this reliable, sturdy man of the house. I-I should’ve been more of a father figure to you-…”

“Don’t,” you interject sternly. “You never filled in his shoes and you should never will. You’re only mom’s son and my brother, Namjoon. It’s never been your job to raise me.”

Even after everything, there’s a gentleness to you that Namjoon’s always loved but hate the most now. He hates that even if he’s the one who’s apologizing, you’re the one who’s saying sorry for the things you didn’t even inflict on him. Neither of you wanted to be raised by only a single parent, yet you absolve him of the guilt he’s always felt.

“But I could’ve been better. I wish I was already better from the start.”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think how hard life was for you growing up. I-I would’ve given up football if only-…” he trembles, unable to get the last of his sentence out because you shake your head in earnest.

“Stop.”

“But I mean it. If only I-I didn’t get into football, I could’ve been there for you and mom much often. I could’ve been better and-...”

“But I grew up to be okay, didn’t I? You’re the best at what you do. We’ve managed to retire mom early because we put in the work,” you whisper, the shrug of your shoulders feeling more heavy that it should feel because the words don’t come out easily from you. 

“But okay shouldn’t have been enough for you,” Namjoon tears up, bottom lip trembling as you try to take in his words that you’ve always wanted to hear at the back of your mind; you hear them now when you’ve already grown up. You hear them now after you’ve already endured the grief. “I— we should’ve given you the fighting chance to grow up more than okay.”

.

.

.

It’s not Jungkook who comes to visit you while you’re nursing a fever, because you’ve temporarily banned him from the bedroom. He only pouted in complaint when you called him, but he didn’t fight you that much either because you’ve called him out for the excitement in his voice to go hiking for the first time.

It’s not Yoongi who comes to visit you while you’re nursing a fever, because Haneul asked him to teach him Go (he’s not even that good at it and being the ever unable to show incompetence and have pride especially when Jungkook’s watching father, he discreetly asked lessons from your mom) so he’ll be able to play with your cousins.

Instead, it’s your mom who visits you. Even if Namjoon hadn’t tipped her off that you were feeling under the weather, she’s already had a feeling this morning.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” she asks, her hands full of everything you could possibly need and more before plopping them at your side. She makes you sit up even before you could complain, handing you a drink with some medicine you didn’t even know she carried

“Just a little fever,” you answer, getting back into your cocoon. 

You don’t even attempt to make conversation because you fear that you don’t have it in you to have a heart-to-heart talk with your mom just minutes after you’ve had one with Namjoon.

You don’t even say anything to her except your thanks. Namjoon didn’t even tell her about your conversation, even if he approached her with tear-stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes while saying that it was just allergies.

Your mom feels the guilt spring to her chest even if you don’t utter a single word. She feels the remorse in her eyes when you don’t ask her for anything more. She feels the guilt the most in her hands when you don’t ask her to stay.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel like there wasn’t enough space for your burdens growing up.”

“What?”you scramble to get up in a seated position, eyes hazy from how quick you do it. “Mom, you scared me. Where’s this coming from?” 

She shakes her head at your cluelessness, eyes stinging when you genuinely look at her innocently. You don’t know what she’s talking about, even if the thought has plagued her for so long.

“You’re not really okay, are you?”

“It’s… just a fever,” you mumble, your breathing already trembling at the way she looks at you.

She’s looking at you like you’re still a kid; ever so fragile and innocent, it’s as if she wouldn’t let a single thing in this world harm you. She doesn’t know a single thing about your feud with Namjoon and your long drawn-out conflict with Yoongi. What your mom does know is that she doesn’t know a single thing about the heartbreak you suppress, and that thought alone makes her hiccup in tears.

“You’re right, you know? Our house is small,” she says, distinctly recalling the tensioned conversation you had with Namjoon back at home. “It’s tiny but it was far too big for you growing up alone,” she inhales sharply, trying not to sob in front of you. “He wasn’t in the picture. I was working a hundred jobs left and right. Namjoon was trying to make a name for himself,” she shakes her head, so much so that the necklace she’s had since you were children, the same one with yours and Namjoon’s birthstones on it, rattles. “I’m sorry for making you feel that you can’t come to me.”

In just a full day, you’ve heard everything that you’ve ever wanted. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted during the school plays where you had no one from your family, except Yoongi, to watch you become an extra up on stage. He’d always deny that he did show up for you and just say that it’s because he was genuinely interested in a play about a poet he didn’t care about in reality, but you take it nonetheless.

It’s everything you’ve ever prayed for watching Yoongi live a life far too advanced for you as he held Hyewon’s hand after school. It’s what you wanted to hear when you begged him not to leave you behind.

“I-I’m okay. I’m really-…” you stutter, looking away before your tears fall in the fear that they’ll never stop.

Your mom only hugs you tighter.

“I’m here if you want someone else to carry your burdens,” she whispers. “I’m here now.”

( ♡ )

It’s the last day of the reunion when you fully recover, and it’s hours ahead of everyone when Jungkook has to leave by himself.

Without even asking for it, Jungkook grants you another week’s worth of break. You didn’t even plan on asking, yet Jungkook’s willing to give you a month if only you do. 

You’ve already arranged for his personal driver to pick him up and take him back to the city. You’ve already packed his bags, along with the multiple containers of food that your relatives (and especially your mom) insisted for him to take. You’ve arranged for your substitute to take care of him for his schedules throughout the week, along with the insistent reminder to call you whenever Jungkook needs you. (Read: he does, with or without a schedule.)

Everything is set for Jungkook to leave except for his driver who’d been roped by your mom to be filled with breakfast first, yet with the remaining minutes left, Jungkook’s still with you on your bed. 

He lies on your lap even if there’s plenty of space for him to lie parallel to you on a pillow — and you let him.

“Have you ever thought about kissing me?” he asks in the middle of you texting your substitute, the randomness of his thought already being familiar to you. This time, unlike the few thousand times he’s ever asked you something straight off his mind without refining them, is different.

It’s different now because your pretend-boyfriend asks you if you’ve ever thought about kissing him, while looking like he really wants to kiss you.

“Where’d that come from?” you giggle, looking down on him on your lap. 

Not once does Jungkook ever look away from you.

“Dunno,” he shrugs, pointing up at you. “Your lips are close to bleeding and it’s bothering me.”

“Sorry for turning you off,” you snort in laughter, wiping at the tiny specks of blood. Jungkook tuts when you rub at them, feeling for his lip balm out of his pocket.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he stresses, going a little cross-eyes when he applies them for you. His eyes keep goading you, the smile he has on his face widening the more that you look at him incredulously. “Sooo… have you?”

You don’t want to lie to him at all.

“If I answer yes, Jungkook,” you toy around with his hair, setting your phone face-down because you can’t focus on anything else now. “We can never come back from that.”

Jungkook laughs in glee so loudly, Yoongi (who was only passing by; he really, really swears he didn’t just happen to eavesdrop in your room because Jungkook’s driver is all done eating and wants to beat traffic) actually flinches.

Jungkook strains to be closer to you, unconsciously training you to lean down. His lips are far too soft — far too close to you, you could see every line and every nuance in them. He whispers, eyes practically crossing at your proximity.

“And is that such a bad thing?”

( ♡ ) 

You’re back at home when Jungkook texts you that he’s made it back safe, and that he wants to kiss you again.

You’re back at home when Yoongi asks you if he could use the bathroom first because Haneul spilled milk on him during the drive. You’re in your childhood bedroom when you let him clean up first, and you’re sitting on your childhood bed when you volunteer to put Haneul down because he’s cranky and for some reason, wants to be held by you.

You’re back at home too when Yoongi and Haneul are knocked out for the night, and your mom calls you and Namjoon down for all three of you to talk at the dining table.

You’re back at the home you were raised in, sitting on the dining table that’s creaky when more than two people lean their weight into it, in the space you’ve roamed around alone waiting for them to come home, when your mom talks about wanting to sell it.

“You want to sell?” Namjoon’s eyes widen, exchanging a glance with you who’s as equally surprised as he is.

“Yes. It’s under my name, y’know? Not that… man’s,” she snorts, the off-hand mention of your father making you and Namjoon laugh unexpectedly. Your mom looks at ease as she talks about selling your house, the smile she has one her face being shaped with experience and grace. “I doubt the both of you would want to keep this, and besides, the offers I’ve kept for years now are high. You already know that big-shot companies have been buying out houses here for years now because of the growth potential and whatnot. Who knows, maybe our block will be turned into a mall!” she shrugs, the happiness in her tone infectious. 

For someone who’s decided on letting go the house she’s both struggled and strived in, your mom’s beyond excited.

For two adults, who were once kids, who’ve seen the amount of sacrifices your mother’s put into the place by herself, you and Namjoon don’t have any objections.

“Also, consider this as me asking for permission to go on a vacation, even if I’m grown, because some people get so paranoid when I don’t answer calls,” she digs at you and your brother, immediately inciting coughs because you two, in fact, are guilty of worrying over your mom too much. “I’m going on this worldwide trip with Yoongi’s mom,” she grins, pulling out one last surprise. “We’ve talked about it since we were young. She’s earned her stripes working abroad, I managed to raise two amazing children as a single mom. We’ve earned it, I think.”

You and Namjoon share a glance once again, this time more definite than the last. You’ve made up already as far as your mom could tell, and that confirmation is what she needs before finally selling the house you all grew up in.

“You’ve earned it more than anyone.”

( ♡ ) 

Yoongi’s packing up for their flight tonight when you go into your room to pack up the life you’ve lived there.

“You’re coming with me and Haneul?” Yoongi jokes when he sees you pulling out your own luggage, the tone of his voice highly suggesting for you to become serious. He gets you to smile and that’s big enough of a win as is, the remainder of it more than substantial to hold onto when he’s away from you. Again.

“No, unfortunately. I’m packing up the room and eventually… the whole house,” you answer with a chuckle, voice trailing off when you see the crestfallen look on Yoongi’s face. He looks like someone who’s just absorbed the largest pain to man as he’s trying not to make it obvious. “We’re posting it for sale two weeks from now.”

Yoongi nods tightly, inhaling sharply as he tries to maintain his steady tone. “Then why are you packing up already?”

You could do this tomorrow. As a matter of fact, you could do it tonight because you don’t have to drive them to the airport. You have all the time in the world within two weeks to do this, yet you go into your room now when Yoongi’s still in it.

When Yoongi still hasn’t left, and neither of you know when you’re gonna see each other next.

“I have to get a move on. If I don’t move now,” you trail, voice close to trembling as you open cabinets you’ve never even given the time of day before. “I’m scared that I’ll keep holding onto this house.

Yoongi nods, even if he fully understands — even if he doesn’t want to swallow what you’re saying.

“You want out?”

“We want out — me, mom, Namjoon,” you explain, looking at him properly for the first time since he told you that he loved you. “For the longest time, we’ve held onto this place because we became this house at one point. Namjoon’s this world star, my mom’s traveling the world with your mom-…”

“Oh, they’re finally doing it?” Yoongi interrupts, a smile finally coming to his face at the news. He hasn’t talked to his mom in a month from how busy he’s been, and although he’s always missed her (even if they’re on much better terms than he and his dad could be), he’s happy knowing that your moms have each other atleast. “How about you? What will you be doing?”

“I’ll just be… living day-to-day. I’m not doing anything extremely special, but I’m happy and busy doing it,” you laugh, looking around your room that hasn’t appeared this clean, this warm, since you last stayed in it. “No one’s going to be around here anymore.”

As if on cue, Haneul runs to Yoongi’s arms to be picked up. He knows what the luggages mean and because he’s largely in denial that they have to leave later (as referenced by him crying to your mom and Namjoon), Haneul keeps pretending to sleep so that their trip gets delayed.

Yoongi’s about to put him on your bed even if he knows his son’s antics already, but in the fear that he’ll actually get to sleep and they don’t get to leave (which he isn’t opposed to at all), he keeps him in his arms.

You, on the other hand, take Haneul from him when his arms outstretch for you.

There’s the sentiment of you not having to do it that’s resting at the tip of Yoongi’s tongue but he holds himself back, the image of you and Haneul completely fitting one another, he wants to burn a copy of it to his retinas and designate it to be the last thing he’ll see if he ever goes blind.

Without putting Haneul to sleep on your bed, he goes to sleep in peace in your arms.

“Do you regret it?” Yoongi asks throughout the silence between you, sitting next to you at the edge of your bed. “Do you regret ever liking me?”

“I do,” you answer truthfully, rubbing circles at the Haneul’s back. “I regret knowing you.”

Yoongi takes the responsibility fully, even fuller than the way both your hurt and happiness could make or break him.

“I can’t take back all the hurt I’ve caused you,” he admits just as honestly, turning to look at you. He becomes surprised to learn that you’ve been looking at him the whole time. “But what I can promise you is that I’ll never do anything to hurt you again.”

“I have my share of faults too.”

“Eh. Mostly mine.”

“Mostly yours, yeah,” you laugh easily, nodding to yourself as you continue. “But I held onto you as much as you didn’t hold onto me. That’s my mistake.”

Yoongi stays silent at that, not because he agrees, but because the bias that you’ll never be wrong in his eyes overtakes your humbleness.

“Do you think he’ll remember the entirety of the trip?” you ask, gesturing to Haneul who’s already sleeping like a hibernating bear in your hold. “Or will Haneul just remember that time the power went out because he cried a lot?”

“Oh, he’ll remember everything alright. He’s good with retention and people in general,” Yoongi waves you off. “Even if he didn’t come along the trip— even if we didn’t crash the whole thing, Haneul would remember you.”

“Who am I to him?” you ask in curiosity, lips turning into a straight line before they curve in the slightest. “Appa’s friend, I bet.”

“Not really. You’re a lot of things to me,” Yoongi chuckles, looking at the way Haneul grips you as if you’ll float away if he lets go; he’d do the same too. “More like my first love.”

Yoongi loves you quietly.

He loves you quietly with the way he draws the curtains downstairs when you sleep on the couch, tired and stressed over a solution you couldn’t understand. He loves you with the way he’ll scoop the warmest, freshest, least-burnt portion of rice to your bowl without you even asking for it. He loves you with the way he’s willing to let you walk all over him.

He loves you quietly in the way that not even distance nor time could disrupt him.

Yoongi loves you quietly, it might have been too much.

“Is that a lottery ticket?” he asks suddenly as he spots the familiar face of it inside your luggage, tucked into the discreet pocket where your mother’s letters of encouragement when you went to the big city were also kept

“Oh, it’s still there,” you answer, in surprise yourself because even if this is the same luggage you use whenever you go out of the country with Jungkook, you’ve never noticed that it was still there. “I bought it when you left for the US.”

Yoongi stops in his tracks in retrieving the scratch ticket from the pocket, looking up at you in curiosity. “Why did you buy one that day?”

Haneul stirs in his sleep in your arms, waking up right at the middle of you and Yoongi being lost in each other. He mistakes the silence as a signal that they’ll be leaving already, making a mess of himself as he quickly goes down the stairs to look for your family there and cling to them instead.

You and Yoongi are alone again.

“I don’t know,” you answer honestly, grasping the scratch ticket you used to spend hours looking. “I guess I just needed some proof that fate was against me that day.”

“But how would you even know that?” Yoongi asks, pointing to the card that’s still covered. “You didn’t even scratch it.”

You answer honestly, the reason burnt to the back of his mind.

“Because I knew I would lose my mind if I actually lost.”

“Try,” Yoongi swallows, nudging the ticket closer to you with a gaze that mirrored yours when he left. “Try again. Please.”

You have nothing else to lose.

Yoongi isn’t yours to lose.

You retrieve the same old coin Yoongi gave to you on the same day that he bought you your first scratch ticket, the appearance of it from your luggage making his heart skip a beat.

He doesn’t speak and neither do you, gaze only fixed on the way you scratch the card almost hesitantly, as if you’re still scared of the results of something that you should’ve known five years ago. (Read: you still are.)

When you get to the last digit, you freeze. You comb through the pattern over and over again, yet you still can’t believe it.

You’ve won the highest possible prize.

“Oh.”

“Oh,” you parrot Yoongi, looking up at him as he can’t believe it either.

“You won.”

“I won,” you repeat, running a hand through your hair. You actually laugh, the lump in your throat subsiding. It’s a welcome, albeit loaded, feeling of happiness that comes in between the two of you. “I thought I would lose,” you mutter bitterly, shaking your head. 

You didn’t lose. Fate wasn’t against you that day, and yet you still lost yourself thinking subconsciously what the proof of it would’ve been.

“Who would’ve thought, right?” you sigh, eyes drifting to Yoongi. “If only I took that chance years ago, I would’ve won.”

Yoongi smiles tightly, breath faltering in recollection.

“I’m familiar with the feeling,”

Yoongi doesn’t get to finish packing for him and Haneul and neither do you with your whole room, the shift in the atmosphere suddenly making him stand.

He’s breathless and he doesn’t know what for, the rapid beating of his chest making his voice louder than necessary. “Hey, what do you say you take a break? I’ll pack up your room. I have to stay alert anyway for Haneul."

You thank him before leaving him alone in your room.

Yoongi can’t find the strength in him to pack. The only power he has left in him is for him to think of taking everything out from his luggages, the thought of leaving again, this time worlds different than the last when you were begging him not to — he feels like throwing up.

Yoongi’s merely an amalgamation of you. He’s only a compilation of your every word, every feeling you’ve implanted in his heart. He’s filled with nothing but your every triumph and shortcoming; every late night hanging out with you as you attempt to study while he keeps you company, every minute he spent going out of his mind trying to look for you when you ran away from home.

Yoongi loves you silently to the point that he gets out of your room without accomplishing a single thing he said he’ll do just awhile ago.

In the grand scheme of things, Yoongi realizes that he was wrong. He was as wrong as you were right that the moment he leaves home, he’ll spend the rest of his life looking for it. 

Even if you left your home like he did, even if neither of you could come home anymore the moment your childhood house gets sold, Yoongi would still search for it. He’ll still search for you. You’re no longer where you were, but you are everywhere that Yoongi is.

He looks for you in Namjoon’s room, to the dining table, and all the way outside, just to ask if he and Haneul could stay for dinner.

Yoongi finds you and Haneul eating sundaes on the pavement outside, with you on the ground and a scrap cardboard underneath Haneul so it wouldn’t be hot for him.

Fate hadn’t been against you five years ago. And even if he’s much too late, Yoongi could only pray that fate isn’t against him now.

He walks over to where you and Haneul are, grabbing another scrap of cardboard to put underneath you.

Yoongi is consumingly yours all the time.

#WHEWWWWWW HOW R WE FEELING!!!! #yoongi imagine #yoongi oneshot #yoongi series #yoongi angst #yoongi angst imagine #yoongi fluff #yoongi x reader #yoongi x y/n #yoongi au #min yoongi imagine #min yoongi scenario #yoongi fanfic #yoongi x you #bts yoongi imagine #bts yoongi x reader

[charlie-lec-stories]

A lovely mess // CL16

Pairing: Charles Leclerc / Original Female Character

Summary: Four times Charles overreacted to becoming a father and one he actually failed to react. Or Charles being a mess through the best and most scary adventure of his life.

Warnings: None, this is pure wholesomeness.

Author’s Note: This one was inspired by some stories my own dad and uncle told me about the times they had their first children. Yes, some of those stories are based on things my father did when him and my mom were expecting me hahahaha. Rate: PG

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Every man reacts differently to pregnancy, but the most common response is just simply becoming a mess of a human being. And because of that, Charles, for once in his life, could be considerer an average man. He had been exceptional his whole life: excellent student at school, talented in arts, languages and sports, remarkable people skills and loved by everyone. People assumed that he was going to be an exceptional father too, and he knew he was committed to the role since day one, but none of that made the experience less scary. The monegasque had always want kids, he had always pictured himself growing old with a woman he loved and raising a bunch of little humans. When he knocked up his girlfriend he was definitely not planning on becoming a father so soon in his life, but he was happy nonetheless. His history with his girlfriend was kind of complicated too, her family didn't like him much, or more precisely the fact that Charles' job made her travel around the globe, away from her family all the time. He knew that he loved her more than he had ever loved anyone in his life, he knew that every time he pictured himself in the future, that future was shared with her, but it would be a lie if he'd say that the pregnancy didn't complicate things. His in-laws weren't too happy when they found out and Charles' mother was kind of worried about the whole situation. But Charles and his girl loved that little "accident" more than life itself and they actually never cared too much about anyone else's opinions. He convinced his girlfriend to move in with him and she also agreed on keep traveling with him until she ultimately had to stay home for the baby's safety.

"Is six weeks really that bad, Amour? I mean, maybe you're jet lagged or something". Charles nervously wondered from sitting at the bottom of the bed, his girl anxiously pacing around the room.

"That's not how periods work, Charlie". She was trying to stay calm and not bark at him, but that was a difficult task.

"Then let's buy a test and find out". He got up and started walking to the door when she grabbed his arm.

"Wait! You can't just go to a pharmacy and buy a test!". She looked at him like he was insane.

"Why not?". If there was someone humble enough to always forget he's rich and famous, that was Charles.

"Because you're Charles fucking Leclerc, that's why!". She let go of his arm and ran her hand down her face, exasperated. "The press is going to have a field day if you do that".

"Shit, you're right". He sighed and his shoulders sunk. He could see her shaking, scared and stressed and all he wanted to do was give her answers so she could get some peace of mind. "I'm sorry, Amour, I just don't know what to do".

"Let's call Lorenzo, maybe Charlotte can buy it for us".

He watched her take care of everything: call his brother, open the door for him and Charlotte, explain the situation, decide over test brands with his sister in law, drink loads of water, all while he sat on the couch, his mind running faster than he had ever drove his Ferrari. How could she think so clearly even with how scared she was? What would he do if the test was positive? What if she didn't want to keep the baby? Why was he feeling so sad with the mere idea of the test turning up negative? Was he really ready to be a father? There were so many questions and so little answers. He could hear Charlotte walk out the door and his girlfriend go their room, he clearly felt his older brother sit by his side on the couch, but he just couldn't move. Lorenzo said something Charles never caught, too drown inside his own head.

"I really want this baby, Enzo". Was all he let out and his brother just squeezed his shoulder.

Charlotte came back pretty fast, a paper bag with at least five different tests for his girl to do. The older woman explained the younger which ones were more effective so they could compare the results later. The possible future mother lock herself into the bathroom while the other three waited outside. Charles felt like he waited for an eternity before she came out with the five little white sticks. She placed them over a napkin on the coffee table and Lorenzo set the timer. Now, they had to wait again. She was sitting on the same couch he was before, looking at everything but the tests in front of her, so he sat down and took her hand in his, hoping for the contact to be enough to ease her thoughts. He wasn't exactly the epitome of calmness and the sweat that covered his hand made it hard to grip at. She looked at him and smiled, she knew that he was going to be there for them, no matter what, but she was still scared of what he would think, she still needed to know if he really wanted this. Still, she refrained from asking and simply rested her head on his shoulder, searching for comfort on his scent. She had her eyes closed when she suddenly flew to the other side of the couch while Charles' loud yelp filled her ears.

"What the fuck was that?". She looked around, trying to find what could have startled him so much to trow her like that, but all she could see was Charles clumsily trying to grab one of the tests while his feet barely kept him up. She had never seen him so uncoordinated in the two years they had been together. His fingers had a mind of their own and his legs were trembling.

"Two lines, this one has two lines". Charles, who had been quiet and petrified for the past hour, was mumbling like a madman as he showed his brother one of the tests. In the background, the alarm set by Lorenzo started ringing and they all looked down at the coffee table, searching for the lines of truth. Charles grabbed the the tests smiling wide as he showed them to the others. "THEY ALL HAVE TWO LINES". He was hyperventilating, his whole body shaking and Lorenzo couldn't help but let out his loudest laugh as he watched his younger brother loose the little bits of sanity he had. "CAN YOU SEE IT, BABY?!". He shoved the sticks into his girlfriend's face. "It's a baby! We made a baby! Putain de merde! I'm going to be a Papa!".

"Yes, Charlie! I see it!". She said sharing his enthusiasm. But then she saw him go pale really fast. He walked backwards a few steps and Lorenzo caught him from behind before he could fall butt first on the ground.

"Okay, I think you need to process this rollercoaster of emotions while sitting on the couch, Cha". The older Leclerc helped his bother to sit down next to the now confirmed future mama. There, Charles took her hand and smiled, a high-like expression covering his eyes. He may be scared, but he had never been happier.

If Charles' reaction to the pregnancy was that chaotic, it was a sure thing that the following nine months would be as well. Before the first trimester was up, he had already brought another house to move to, where the baby could have their own room and a playroom. He brought every piece of Ferrari merchandizing he could find on the internet, he didn't even care if it was original or not. Was it pretty? Yes. Was it Ferrari? Yes. Then he was buying it. His girlfriend even went to the extent of taking away his cards and threatened with getting rid of wifi to make him stop. He didn't, took her extension in the middle of the night and kept binge-shopping for his baby at 4 am. He brought furniture for the bedroom and the playroom, and then he found his biggest rival till the day. A rival he wanted to beat more than Max Verstappen: a crib. She wasn't even showing and he was already putting a crib together, or let's rephrase it, fighting with the crib and losing pathetically.

"Cela n'a aucun sens". (This makes no sense). He complained while he tried to attach what was supposed to be 'Part B' to 'Part 3.1'. Why there was a part 3.1, he didn't know and was too stress out to try and figure it out. He growled, he literally growled when the whole crib came crushing down in front of him. "Je déteste cette merde". (I hate this shit).

"Charlie? What's wrong? I heard a loud noise". He looked at the mother of his child and all he could feel was embarrassment. "Are you alright?".

"Yes. I'm fine". He answered from the floor, looking at his lap. He wanted to cry, but he also didn't want to upset her.

"Hey, you know you can tell me anything, right?". She sat next to him on the floor and searched for his eyes, but he kept looking away from her. "What is it, Charles?".

"I-". He tried to start talking, but he was cut off by his own sob. She quickly made him turn towards her, looking for injuries, but he seemed to be physically fine. She saw the tears running down his face and did the best she could to wipe the away. Moving to sit on his lap, she threw her arms around his neck and pressed herself flat against him, trying to get as close as she could. He cried on her shoulder, soaking her his hoodie and crushing her with his arms around her waist. They stayed like that for a while, until Charles stopped crying. She scratched his head to calm him down and after some time, he did. In a painfully soft whisper, he admitted his fear to her. "I'm going to be a terrible Papa".

"Don't say that. We both know that's not true". Shushing him, she pulled away and grabbed his face, forcing him to look at her. "Is this about the crib?".

"I've been fighting this crib for four days. Our baby is going to sleep on the floor and it's all my fault". She laughed and for a moment, she regretted it, seeing the hurt in his eyes. She calmed down and pecked his lips.

"Charlie, our baby has barely formed their ears yet, you have more than enough time to figure this out". He didn't look convinced at all.

"But what if I don't?". She smiled at him.

"I know you will. Do you want to know why?". He nodded and she ran her fingers through his hair to move it away from his face, so they could look into each others eyes and make him believe her. "Because you already are the best Papa in the world, Charles".

He won against the crib just in time to catch up with the worst part of the cravings period. They were into the fourth month of pregnancy and the little bump was proudly starting to show. Charles couldn't keep his hands away from it. He was constantly touching the bump, kissing the bump, talking to the bump, even scolding the bump whenever he saw some discomfort tinting his girlfriend's face. In the paddock he practically forced her to go everywhere with him and on interviews he answered every question while looking at her. He insisted on people staying at least ten centimeters away from her and he even took upon himself the task of preparing every meal she ate, just to make sure that it was safe and she didn't get food poisoned. He checked places' and foods' temperatures, chairs' and couches' safety, if her shoes were properly tied (at least 20 times a day), the only thing missing was him wrapping her on bobble wrapping. He safety proofed the every hotel room they stayed in so she wouldn't 'accidentally hit the bump against unknown furniture in the dark'. At some point, she had to put a stop to the madness, specially when Charles' newly-daddy paranoia messed with her cravings.

"Amour, what are you eating?". He asked when he caught her hiding with Lando and Max behind the Red Bull garage, a massive greasy half eaten hot dog on her hands. Lando was opening a mayonnaise sachet with his teeth and Max was feeding her french fries with his bare hands, all three of them sitting on the floor. It wasn't exactly the most sanitary situation, but the fuzzy feeling she felt inside her chest thanks to that hot dog made it all worth it. Charles could swear he had an aneurysm just by the sight of it all. "Where did you get that?".

"Uhm...". Her and Lando looked at Max, waiting for him to answer, since he was the one who brought it.

"Well... It's from a professional, I can assure you that, Charles". The monegasque frowned and Max swallowed, scared, just to find out his mouth was completely dry. He wasn't an easily scared guy, but something about Charles' over-protective-dad mood just terrified him.

"And where's the professional's place? Can you show me?". Max, still sitting on the floor, looked at everything but Charles.

"Oh, you see-".

"It's from the stand outside of the paddock". Lando blurted out, followed by him covering his mouth with both his hands and the three of them heard Charles growl.

"Max did you just feed my pregnant girlfriend a hot dog from a dirty street-stand? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THE PERSON WASHES THEIR HANDS-"

"They definitely don't, I mean, they don't have where to".

"Lando, you're not helping me, mate". Max advised, not moving his eyes from the fuming Charles above him. Then the pregnant girl decided to intervene.

"Charlie, babe, it's okay. I asked him to buy it for me". Charles then looked at her, his gaze softening a little, but still angry.

"Amour, you know that's not good for you". He walked to her and hooked his arms under hers to help her off the floor.

"But the baby wanted it". Max still followed Charles, afraid of what the future father could do to him for messing with his unborn baby's diet. Lando stayed very still, hoping to make himself invisible. "I was just craving this so bad! And you never let me have this type of food. The baby is fine, I promise".

"Don't do that face, it's not fair". He complained when she gave him her best puppy eyes. She didn't stop, and he finally dropped the attitude. "Okay, maybe we can make some room for a hot dog once in a while. But you have to keep eating healthy, we don't want the little Tifosi to come out malnourished".

"Yay!". She squealed and hugged him tight, the hot dog almost falling from her hand. Charles hugged her back and then directed his gaze towards the other two drivers.

"And you two". Max and Lando looked at him wide-eyed. "This better be the last time you pull off something like this. Did I make myself clear?".

"Yes, sir". Both said at the same time and got up from the floor.

"Okay, go on. And think about what you did". They nodded their heads, Max handing the girl the fries and then walking away with Lando.

"I like you daddy-voice". Charles shrugged at her comment.

"Amour, don't call it that or I won't be able to use it without laughing".

Charles' paranoia got better. He calmed down a little, but then the fear of being a bad father came back. Around the seventh month, already knowing they were having a boy, Charles found himself with insomniac. At the beginning of the pregnancy he was scared of not knowing what to do to take care of a baby's basic needs: bottle feed, change diapers, help him to sleep, and things like that. But as the date of the delivery got closer, Charles' fears shifted to the more existential type. What if he was unable to guide his son through life? What if he failed on teaching him good values and a strong sense of ethics? What if he ended up raising a spoiled kid, arrogant and narcissistic? What if he couldn't make his boy happy? What if his kid hated him? Those questions kept him up at night, turning over and over on the bed, and cold sweat covering his body. He would walk to the baby's room and look at the painting his girlfriend did on the walls, the name 'Jules' written on lilac on a clear sky, over the race track so carefully crafted. What if his son didn't want to race cars? What if he was forcing him to do so when he wasn't even born? Sitting on the rocking chair, he would look out the window, the yachts at the bay clearly visible from there. What if his son didn't like Monaco? What if his son would rather adopt his mother's nationality and culture over his? The dark sky adorned with shinny little dots would look back at him without answers.

"Charlie? Why are you up, love?". He heard his girl's sleepy voice call out to him from the doorway. He smiled at her, his eyes glossy as he fought the tears that wanted to escape.

"Just thinking, Amour. Don't worry". He gave her his best smile, but she could read his real feelings underneath it. "Go back to bed, I'll join you in a minute".

"I think we love each other enough to cut the bullshit, babe". She walked further into the room and stopped in front of him, her big belly at his face's height, and he couldn't help but reach forward and kiss it. "What is it?"

"It's... it's just a lot and it's late. Don't worry, really-"

"Charles, I'm not sleeping until I'm convinced that you're alright". He sighed, and pulled her to his lap. The weight was a little bit more than what he was used to, but he loved that, it made it impossible for him to overlook the fact that his baby was there, with them. He made her rest her back against his chest and rocked he chair, hugging her tight against him and resting his chin over her shoulder. They both looked out of the window and she patiently waited for him to tell her what was going on inside his mind.

"I'm scared. I feel this huge responsibility over Jules". She smiled, loving whenever they talked about their baby using the name they choose for him. "I just want to be a good Papa, but I'm so scared of messing up, of making the wrong choices, of using the wrong words, of leading him in the wrong direction. What if I don't raise him right? If I'm not a good role model?"

"Well, you're not alone in this, Charlie, I'm with you till the end of the line. Like Bucky and Steve. I know that we'll be alright. I just know it". She sounded so sure of herself. He wished he could be that sure about everything.

"How do you do it? How do you manage to always be so sure and composed?". She laughed and he felt the baby kick under his palm, he always kicked when she laughed.

"I've been the least composed person and you know it, Charlie! I break down crying at least five times a day. You've seen that! You're the one who comforts me every time". He laughed softly, that was true, those had been some pretty crazy seven months. A true rollercoaster of emotions. And they still had two more months to go. "I know that we'll be alright because we're already asking ourselves these questions. Because we care about Jules so much that we truly take time to think things through. We are going to be alright because we love our baby and we both know we will always do the best we can for him. We won't let the bad choices from our parents be repeated and we'll make sure to copy the best from them to give to Jules. That's why I'm so sure". She turned to look at him for a moment. "I trust you to be the dad of my baby because I know how great of a human being you are, Charles".

"I love you". He said, feeling a lot better. He kissed her tenderly, and then another kick was felt under his hand. "Thanks for being here for me, Amour".

"Always, just as you had always been for me". She nuzzled her nose against his. Another kick and they both laughed. "Let's go back to bed, Papa".

The two months passed by in a blink. Charles asked Ferrari to give him a leave of absence for the first two races of the season. He wanted to be world champion, but he would rather be there when his son was born. Ferrari let him take his time, but Jules decided to be born at eight and a half months. It seemed like he couldn't wait to meet his parents, because everything happened so fast that Charles had barely had any time to react. They were having lunch at his mother's house, and he was having the best time. His girl looked amazing, all radiant and happy, her belly covered by a cute but comfortable dress, his sisters in law both touching the belly and fighting for godmother duties. Lorenzo and Charlotte were definitely the chosen ones, but they hadn't tell anyone yet, after all both Lorenzo and Charlotte were there for them when they needed them. His mother was showing him little clothes that she had crocheted for Jules and his brothers discussing which one was going to be the 'responsible uncle' and who the 'funcle'. Arthur was definitely unable to be the responsible one, so he was already chosen to be the 'funcle'. Every conversation was cut short when the faint voice of the future mama rang through the air.

"Charlie". Her shaken voice called out, and he turned around to see what she needed. There was a wet patch under her and she was grabbing her belly, a painful expression on her face. "I think my water broke".

"The baby is coming!". Arthur shouted excitedly, but Charles' brain just stopped functioning. He saw everyone running around to grab things, Charlotte and Carla helping his girl out of the house and towards his car, Lorenzo grabbing the baby bag the carried around just in case since the beginning of the last trimester, Arthur pushing him outside and his mother speaking, but he just couldn't move. H was petrified. He felt like his blood pressure had dropped in a second and if it wasn't for Arthur behind him, he would have certainly fallen to the ground. His mother took his car keys out of his pocket and then they pushed him on the back seat, next to his girlfriend. Her hand crushing his brought him back from his outer-body state and he was able to react, turning to face her and running his other hand down her arm, doing his best to sooth her.

"It's okay, mon amour. Breath, breath with me". He instructed her and he started to exaggerate his breathing so she could copy her. She did and that calmed her down enough to count the seconds between one contraction and the next. "That's it, Amour, you're doing so good". He praised her and she smiled a little, her happy expression cut short by another waive of pain. She screamed and cried, sweat covering her forehead and running down her face, mixing with her tears. It was probably the most messy she had ever looked, but he had never seen her as beautiful as in that moment. "I love you so much". He whispered it, but by the squeeze she gave to his hand, he knew for sure she was saying it back. "We're almost there, hung on a little longer".

He almost carried her out of the car and into the hospital the second Arthur parked the car. Then, they found out that she was ready to deliver in that second. Jules didn't want them to keep him waiting, she was brought to the delivery room and Charles was given surgical gown so he could join her. Inside, the whole process was quick, in 30 minutes, Jules was crying on the doctors arms and Charles could feel his heart skip a beat. Wrapped on towel and with the small hat they had for him on, Jules was passed on to his mother, who took him instantly while she cried her eyes out. Charles, still on delay with reality, was trying to process the information. That was his baby, he was finally there, he could finally touch him. The doctor walked to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, Charles couldn't stop looking at his girl and little Jules. He heard a softly "go ahead, meet your boy", and that was enough for him to place a shaking and gentle hand on Jules' head. He ran his thumb over the soft little cheek and the tears started to fall. He felt his girl's hand wipe away his tears and heard her laugh softly. She just found funny that after overreacting about every little thing for the past eight months, Charles was barely able to react that day. He was a mess in that moment, but he was the perfect mess in her eyes. The most extraordinary mess. He finally smiled and reached down to kiss her head, then he looked at Jules.

"I am your Papa, Jules. I love you. I'm so happy to finally meet you".

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I hope you guys liked this one!

#charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc one shot #charles leclerc x reader

[ninjaturtlemaniac]

Headcanons - The Ultimate Combo!

Brozone - drastically changed their looks coz they hate that they used to dress the same.

Brozone - All the brothers definitely hold doors open for the ladies and then close it on John Dory.

Brozone - All of the brothers share habits and mannerisms without even realising. E.g. tapping their chin when they're thinking hard, cracking knuckles when they're about to really get into a project, tapping toes when anxious.

Brozone - they became world famous, argued and left BEFORE the cage went around the Pop Troll Tree. (Canon?)

Brozone - there was a rumoured 'unfinished' Brozone song that was supposed to be released after that tour. John finally finishes it and the brothers offer to sing it for Poppy's bridal entrance song. Poppy immediately faints. In my head the song is 'Helpless When She Smiles' by The Backstreet Boys

Brozone - whatever the Trolls equivalent of the Superbowl is, I feel like Bruce and JD would be very into it. Jerseys and face paint and everything.

Brozone - when the brothers weren't sure how to reconnect, they ended up playing rummy together.

Bruce - one of those dads who would get a new barbeque and show off all the cool features to the other local dads.

Bruce - "No kids, we're not keeping that stray animal, end of story, no way..." - 1 week later and he's giving it kisses and building it an over the top kennel with a heated blanket and a water fountain.

Bruce - (canon?) carried all their eggs, indirect reason why his hair is so big. (Side note - I read somewhere someone called all their kids 'The Bakers Dozen' and I frigging love that)

Bruce - absolutely gets into the trashiest reality TV shows. "If Alejandro doesn't confess his love in this episode I will flip this table"

Bruce - makes Troll cuisine for his kids

Bruce - there aren't any Troll sized clothing stores around so Bruce sometimes has to make his own clothes.

Bruce - has considered getting his kids hug time bracelets

Bruce - the restaurants kitchen is set up like in Ratatouille (ladders, ramps, bridges, pulley systems) for Bruce to navigate.

Bruce - keeps every one of his kids drawings, their refrigerator is absolutely covered in them.

Bruce - his go-to excuse is "I can't, I've got 13 college tuitions to save for."

Bruce - has given 'love coupons' to Brandy before

Bruce - theorizes that his daughter LaBreezy will be the one to take over the restaurant.

Bruce - tries developing and inventing his own recipes, Brandy has to remind him that not everyone can handle as much sugar as a Troll can. He reels it back a bit.

Bruce - makes specific food for different reasons. E.g. makes bread when he's angry so he can take it out on the dough, makes lasagnas so he can use the leftovers as an excuse to visit someone, makes spicy dishes when he wants revenge.

Bruce - cameras make him self-conscious. If he is in a group he can tolerate it but hates being the only one in the photo.

Bruce - has caught his kids trying to do the Brozone dance routines. He tries to stay out of it best he can and let them have their fun but then they ask him to teach them and doesn't he just melt.

Bruce - has a wedding ring but it is Vacationer sized. He keeps it in his hair mostly but will braid it into his hair like an accessory for special occasions.

Bruce - 100% certain Poppy and Branch's first born would be a boy. "We're a family of five brothers! It took Brandy and I thirteen tries to have a daughter. Trust me, I have no doubt your first egg will absolutely be a boy." *They have a girl* Bruce 😑

Bruce - all the kids now request Brozone songs instead of lullabies.

Bruce - opened the restaurant before he met Brandy. Used all the money he had left from Brozone to open it.

Bruce - teaches his kids about body positivity.

Bruce - mortifies his kids by trying to use slang. "That was so very lit!" "Daaaaaaaaaadddddd"

Bruce - just starts being a Dad to everyone without realizing it e.g. cuts food into smaller bites, starts randomly folding people's clothes, licking his finger and wiping food off faces, always having snacks and bandaids in his hair.

Bruce - sleeps wearing a hair bonnet and continues his extensive skincare routine into adulthood.

Bruce - grew a full beard once. Then he had babies. They became obsessed with pulling his beard. No more beard.

Bruce - his kids have buried him in the sand more times than he cares to admit.

Bruce - has attempted to set up John Dory on a date with Brandy's sister.

Bruce - kept having kids because he and Brandy wanted at least one daughter. When they finally had LaBreezy they decided to stop.

Bruce - learned to surf to get Brandy's attention when they first met. Ended up falling in love with surfing before Brandy fell for him. 😁

Bruce - can and will reorganize someone else's kitchen to what he deems is more efficient.

Bruce - always the first to volunteer to babysit other Troll's kids. Not that he doesn't appreciate his own children, he just loves being about to dote on kids he can actually hold on his hip and carry in his hair. Just being able to do the little Troll things he can't do with his own giant kids.

Bruce - noone on the island knew about his 'past life' except for Brandy. (Canon?)

Bruce - has the world's best hangover cure but it's a secret.

Bruce - there have been times when he has muddled up his kids names and he hates himself every time.

Floyd - his hair is naturally pink but JD made him make it redder because 'we're a boyband and pink is a girls colour'

Floyd - absolutely judges you for your star sign

Floyd - knows exactly how to pop away that pain is someones back/shoulder/hips. Grabs JDs shoulder "Relax John. After three. One...two.." CRACK

Floyd - moves back to Pop Village for what JD calls 'early retirement' works in a sort of wellness center that has music therapy and yoga and stuff.

Floyd - in a desperate last resort he once mentioned he was part of Brozone to be noticed by a music producer. It's one of his biggest regrets.

Floyd - has volunteered at homeless shelters and performed at benefit concerts.

Floyd - was 100% sure he was going to die in the bottle. He now has a new outlook on life after being given a second chance.

Floyd - wants a long term relationship but is afraid of getting attached and being used.

Floyd - practices advanced yoga

Floyd - has developed claustrophobia

Floyd - released one solo album, one limited run, it was mentioned he is a former member Brozone on the cover to boost sales. It was a flop. This crushed Floyd.

Floyd - plans to get more body mods in the future.

Floyd - when asked about his past he describes it as 'colourful'. People are yet to find out what he means by this.

Floyd - kept two copies of his own album. He was going to give the other to Grandma Rosiepuff for her collection.

Floyd - when performing solo he does 10 push ups and drinks tea before going on stage. (Apparently Troye Sivan does this and I could see Floyd doing it too 😁)

Floyd - has tried on dresses and corsets before. Prefers overskirts.

Floyd - in a desperate attempt to try and forget V&V, Floyd nearly shaved his head.

Floyd - he actually wrote all of those songs for Velvet and Veneer!

Floyd - after the Mount Rageous incident he gets a little bit reckless without realizing it. He has an "I just survived death so cliff jumping isn't scary anymore' kinda attitude.

Floyd - can read palms and tarot cards.

Floyd - went through the seven stages of grief over his own death.

Floyd - can mix drinks. Messily. Was dating a bartender once and picked up some things from him.

Floyd - used to busk to earn extra cash (based on that one concept art)

Floyd - felt he needed to start a solo career because he wrote a lot of songs that JD didn't pay attention to.

Floyd - did in fact live with the other Troll tribes for a while. Hard Rock Trolls were the last ones he met. This was where he met his manager/mentor.

Floyd - high pain tolerance and godlike levels of patience.

Floyd - has been to rehab for hard candy, is currently 10 years sober. Now advocates for health and wellness in Pop Village.

Floyd - Broke up with several ex's when he found they were all only using him for his fame. 💔

Floyd - can only sleep comfortably near an open window. Sometimes can only sleep sitting up.

Floyd - will randomly stare off into space or mutter to himself.

Floyd - *clears throat* I ship Floom! 💕🏳️‍🌈

Floyd - can't stick to new hobbies for very long, he hyperfixates for a week or two then gets bored. Macrame, candle making, soap making, jewelry making, photography are some examples.

Floyd - did a few red carpet appearances during his solo era, he felt very out of place. @ssippingwaterfalls 💕

John Dory - has embarrassing baby pictures of his brothers as leverage

John Dory - over-exaggerates his retellings of stories "I fought off 30 no no no 40 snakes with one hand behind my back."

John Dory - always casually asking Poppy, Brandy and Viva to marry him, over small things too "Brandy, these pancakes are delicious, marry me."

John Dory - freaky level spice tolerance, looks people in their teary eyes as he bites a raw ghost pepper

John Dory - says "Gotta get home to the missus" when referring to Rhonda

John Dory - narrates himself "Against all odds, the brave and handsome Troll was able to tame the ferocious beast" he says as he's washing a purring Rhonda

John Dory - the Uncle that buys Bruce's kids toys that are either loud or that make a huge mess

John Dory - didn't finish school, made sure his brothers did

John Dory - has not kept track of his age and is in denial when people remind him.

John Dory - met Rhonda when she eats him. He just walks right out the door confused.

John Dory - has been arrested before, he changes the reason everytime someone asks.

John Dory - occasionally uses 'chewing tobacco' (which honestly in the Trolls-verse would be some kinda chewing gum 😂)

John Dory - serial flirt (very bad at it, he thinks he's great at it)

John Dory - does weird stuff because of his isolation e.g. will eat what's left over on the plates when Bruce's customers leave, will ask when the baby's due but they're just overweight, will go into detail about gutting a fish in front of Trollings.

John Dory - can open a wine/champagne bottle with his machete and light a match with his teeth

John Dory - does not own pyjamas, falls asleep in what he wore that day.

John Dory - has a midlife crisis when all the Trollings in Pop village thought he was Branch's dad.

John Dory - has had several concussions and plenty of broken bones. Got very good at applying first aid to himself.

John Dory - makes his own Moonshine

John Dory - sworn off ever having children.

John Dory - pretty scrappy at self defence, can hold his own when boxing.

John Dory - always has some kind of weapon on him at all times.

John Dory - tends to manspread when sitting.

John Dory - has been targeted by Bounty Hunters before, resulting in a gnarly injury on his hand he now covers with his glove.

John Dory - for a time he was convinced that he was the last Pop Troll

John Dory - sometimes refers to himself in the third person. "John Dory doesn't need a map!"

John Dory - doesn't 'get' modern art, pretends he does so people don't think he's dumb.

John Dory - will try to use fancier sounding words in a sentence, thinking it makes sense. It doesn't.

John Dory - when doing outdoor work, his brothers silently bet how long it takes before JD is unnecessarily shirtless.

John Dory - ends up helping with raising and handling the critters kept in the village. E.g rearing orphaned Cuddle Pups, shearing the Puffalos, breaking in the Adorabulls, taming wild flyer bugs.

John Dory - when living on his own, he would only come back to civilization just before the start of winter when it would be harder to forage and hunt food. He would spend a week or so stocking up on supplies, interact with the locals, then disappear again.

John Dory - takes night classes to finally get his highschool diploma. Is too embarrassed to tell anyone until he graduates.

John Dory - doesn't get sick often. But when he does, he keeps going to the point of exhaustion.

John Dory - has indeed crossed paths with Delta Dawn before. Both of them have very different versions of the story. "I serenaded her." "The fool was whining something from the inside of a jail cell."

John Dory - has been known to sleep with his eyes open. Freaks people out.

John Dory - will drink milk straight from the carton and put it back in the fridge.

John Dory - teaches Bruce's kids all the swear words and does in fact tell them his rendition of where eggs come from.

John Dory - claims to be holding back grey hairs with sheer will power

John Dory - believes in love at first sight, just not for himself.

John Dory - will wrestle and roughhouse to bond with people.

John Dory - if there was a couple sitting on a couch, JD will sit between them and not even realize what he did!

John Dory - he doesn't let it show but his ears are constantly twitching to check for danger, a side effect of living in the wilderness alone for so long.

Clay - writes long and very detailed critical reviews of restaurants

Clay - has reading glasses. Probably the ones that attach magnetically at the nose ridge.

Clay - labels everything (labelmaker is to Clay as Gary is to Branch)

Clay - very into color coded itineraries and always know everyone's business "Poppy is currently at Smidge's pod doing her hair" "How could you possibly know that?" "I have my sources."

Clay - also a notary and registered marriage celebrant

Clay - hair was always naturally green but JDs hair was already green. JD said he had to be yellow for the band, they needed that color coordinated group vibe.

Clay - has drafts for his own book series

Clay - actually plays golf

Clay - gets clumsy when trying to impress someone he admires (imagine him meeting King Peppy and he just knocks things over)

Clay - competitive af - brothers know better than to verse him at anything - has an over the top victory dance

Clay - receives special recognition alongside Viva for protecting the Putt Putt Trolls. (Knighthood? Trollstopia's official CFO?)

Clay - has a stupidly complicated coffee order

Clay - plans to move the Hole N Fun between Pop Village and Bergen Town. Imagine the business!

Clay - refers to Viva as his 'Work Wife'

Clay - knows how to use a stenograph

Clay - absolutely did not roll around the putt-putt course like the others.

Clay - everything must be neat and organized, after living with four brothers he values cleanliness so I imagine he would haaaaate glitter.

Clay - studied hard at math to set himself apart from his brothers.

Clay - occasionally tutors math to Trollings.

Clay - has a decent sized nest egg

Clay - graduated highschool early

Clay - has business cards stored in his hair

Clay - knows how to tie different knots for neckties.

Clay - can spin a pen around his fingers

Clay - is thinking of getting his own critter transportation

Clay - has no fuss, no fun breakfast. Plain toast or fibre cereal.

Clay - itching to hook Pop Village up with electricity.

Clay - was definitely the problem child. Being the middle child in a house full of teenage boys, coupled with the constant threat of Bergens with a sprinkling of John Dory as an older brother results in an angry little Troll boy.

Clay - his hardcore fans were known as Claydies.

Clay - the Putt-Putt Trolls didn't have a sad book club as they had no books! After the reunion Clay was very excited about the vast new collection of books he could get his hands on!

Clay - finds out that he was Poppy's favourite Brozone member when she was little and doesn't he just boast about it any chance he gets!

Clay - for Clay to finally forgive John Dory, JD agreed to perform for the brothers+Poppy and Viva in ONLY the funderdrawers. "Do you feel like you're having 76% more fun yet John? Cause I am!" *Camera snap*

Clay - bruises like a damn peach.

Clay - Viva made him co-leader after she gave up on the notion of being immediately rescued and realized Clay was already constructing and implementing long term settlement plans.

Clay - like the other Putt-Putt Trolls, he has basically become Nocturnal. Even with this, he pulls 'allnighters' to finish any work he has, so his sleep pattern is very inconsistent.

Clay - has a lot of energy. When he isn't dancing, he fidgets, taps his foot, bounces his knee, drums pens.

Clay - has many, many of the same sweater romper. All of them are different shades of green.

Clay - eventually hires an assistant. The assistant is mentally prepared for Clay to be a dictator of a boss. They are shocked when Clay keeps saying things like "Have you had a break yet?" "I think you need a day for your mental health." "Yes, that's how much I'm paying you. How are you going to save for your own pod if I pay you any less?"

Clay - had to quit being the Fun Boy cold turkey so that the Putt Putt Trolls would trust in his leadership.

Clay - I imagine a running gag that random Trolls keep calling him Viva's boyfriend/husband, and he keeps trying to correct them, but he is always cut off or they immediately forget. At some point a random Troll is like "What, is Viva not good enough for you?" And he is so exhausted from fighting it, he just gives up and rolls with it.

Clay - will stay up to sunrise reading 'just one more chapter'

Clay - his brothers collectively tried to convince him that he was the adopted brother.

Clay - is quite squeamish. The sight of vomit, open wounds and bodily fluids; Clay will absolutely pass out. Snotty babies make him very uncomfortable.

Clay - gets Viva to braid his hair out of his face only when something really serious is happening *cracks neck* "Viva?" "Yah?" "Braid me" "Yes, Sir." Shwoooop

Clay - Found out the Classical Trolls have a library larger the Pop Village. "Viva, they have a whole wing dedicated to tragedies! Tragedies, Viva!"

Clay - okay, so he and Viva have never been a couple, even if he ever considered it, their work came first and he didn't want to jeopardize what they had. Buuuuuuuttt the thought that another Troll could one day be Viva's person, that she would go to them instead of him for comfort or ideas or laughs or safety or hugs... it makes Clay feel... weird.

Clay - at some point is named some kinda Troll magazines most eligible bachelor. Bro was in a boyband, co-runs a society of survivors, runs a business, is close friends with royalty, has been knighted, has a license to practice accounting and was part of the only known Perfect Family Harmony. He's apparently a hot commodity now.

Clay - tells John Dory that some appliances are voice activated when they aren't. Will watch JD yell at the coffee maker. 😈

Clay - gets random nosebleeds.

Clay - is writing an autobiography. It will not be kind.

Clay - can read Latin.

Clay - overachiever. Was good at academics and sports in highschool.

Clay - a gambler, can count cards, good poker face and good at reading people's 'tells'.

Branch - for Pop Trolls - being in a famous singing group is the equivalent of being a recognized expert in your field. So, the fact that Branch is in TWO famous boy bands is like he has several PhDs.

Branch - Kismet formed inside a group home for Trollings

Branch - toying with the idea of building plans for a Pop Village Castle. (Secretly a fortress)

Branch - he is very, VERY aware that by marrying Poppy one day he would become King. In secret he plans. And plans. And plans. Mr. Survivalist Troll handles this new fear the way he usually does; with over-preparedness!

Branch - Kismet were the ones that originally got him hooked on ring pops.

Branch - learns phrases in other languages to build relationships with subgenre tribes of Trolls. E.g the K-Pop and Reggaeton Trolls.

Branch - started building the bunker while he was still living in the group home with other Trollings.

Branch - will hold onto Poppy in his sleep like she'll disappear if he lets go.

Branch - all those times that Branch thought the Bergens were coming? It was actually Creek harshly pranking Branch to make him look like a fool.

Viva - that concept art of tiny Viva is the age she was when they escaped the Troll Tree. So like 15 maybe?

Viva - wants to make up for all the missed holidays/birthdays/parties with Poppy so she is constantly popping out from places with gifts yelling SURPRISE!

Viva - does not knock on doors and absolutely will walk straight in when someone is changing clothes

Viva - snorts when she laughs too hard

Viva - biggest Broppy shipper. Already has their wedding planned in her head.

Viva - adrenaline junkie

Viva - no sense of personal space

Viva - rubs it into Clay's face that the ONE time he leaves is when Bergens show up. Uses it as leverage for the most petty of things. "Oh you want the last cupcake? Remember that time you left and Bergens came?" She's not even mad about it she just wanted the cupcake.

Viva - has made a list of all the things she's wanted to experience with Poppy. Makeup, planning parties, dealing with heartbreaks etc. they may not be the first times they've both done these things, but their excited to try them together. 😊

Viva - she reeeaaalllyyy wants to braid all of Bruce's hair. And Brandy's. And their kids. And oh look how much hair Vacationers have!

Viva - is worried that Clay doesn't need her around anymore.

Viva - wants to have children. Lots of them!

Viva - tries to hide sadder feelings from Poppy. Worried that Poppy won't want to hang out with her if she isn't fun.

Viva - calls the older brothers Mr.Bruce and Mr.JD (Clay told her to)

Viva - blows raspberries on peoples cheeks/arms/stomachs to show affection.

Viva - likes to collect 'things'. (Canon?) Never know when you might need the thing again. It can be reused for a different purpose. Side effect of trying to survive. Borderline hoarder. Clay does it too, he is just more organized about it.

Poppy - wishes that Branch would initiate physical contact more often.

Poppy - When something is wrong and the brothers don't want her to know, she can immediately tell because they call her 'Queen Poppy'.

Poppy - besides giving Clay and Viva their titles, she considers the other brothers unofficially part of her 'court' as well. (She might knight them later on, who knows?)

Poppy - sometimes feels guilty, if things had been different, Viva would have been Queen. Viva tries to reassure Poppy that she is "The right Troll for the role." 👍🏻 Also Viva tries to argue that they both technically get be Queens now anyway.

Poppy - would have many pillows and plushies on her bed.

Brandy - has swaddled Bruce before. By accident or on purpose, she will never tell.

Brandy - after watching Bruce, she now puts little things in her hair. Nothing huge, maybe a pen and a food order pad, a snack and bandaids for the kids. Depends on the day.

Rhonda - you know in Frozen, how Sven really wants to eat Olafs nose the whole movie? Imagine that but Rhonda wants to eat Mr.Dinkles

Rhonda - locks JD outside when she's annoyed with him. "Who needs you, I wanted to sleep on this rock anyway!"

Rhonda - when she was a baby she was more like a big suitcase than a vehicle.

Rhonda - really likes rolling around in mud, especially after she's just been cleaned. JD > 😑

Trolls - in general Trolls are pretty rare outside their usual kingdoms and it's considered good luck to meet one.

Trolls - letting another troll touch your hair is a very huge sign of trust.

Trolls - have their own version of godparents. Museparents.

Trolls - Can you imagine how many shades of foundation a Troll makeup store has to stock?! I mean, they probably don't need foundation but could you imagine?!

Trolls - having an egg on the way is known as an 'Eggnancy" 😂

Trolls - varies amongst the tribes but hair length and thickness is a good indication of their physical strength and health. So long, thick hair means they're healthy and can lift heavy weights. E.g. Smidge, Bruce, Boom. Whereas short, wild or thin hair means they could be older, unhealthy or just not physically strong. E.g. Peppy and Thrash.

Trolls - eventually a hybrid Troll (e.g. Techno/Funk) is born in Trollstopia and the parents name the baby after Poppy.

Trolls - JD and King Peppy do the same pose in some stock images. I like to think it's like a Pop Village salute. (It probably has an actual meaning)

Trolls - Hard Candy = Hard Drugs 🍭

Trolls - King Peppy invented all these bizarre holidays when they were trapped in the Troll tree to keep hope alive and to boost morale.

Trolls – teenage Pop Trolls wear eachothers hug time bracelets when they're dating. Like wearing their boyfriend's school pin or their jacket.

Trolls- Trollings can't make their hair into a gradient style until they are older. (survival/camouflage situations they can do, but only temporarily)

Putt-Putt Trolls - all delayed having Trollings worrying for their future safety. The very few eggs that hatched are hidden and protected by the whole tribe. (Putt-Putt baby names: Birdie, Par, Ace, Caddie, Fore, Eagle, Divot, Links, Scramble) Clay and Viva were present for every one of them hatching.

Putt Putt Trolls - all of them are wearing the same outfits because they used Bergen sized socks from the golf courses souvenir stand.

Putt Putt Trolls - use the courses tokens as general currency.

Putt-Putt Trolls - that coordinated attack to capture Bridget and Grissle? Clay was the one who planned and trained them.

Yodelers - Hickory and Dickory had a brother named Dock. He was the one that was rumoured to be crushed by an avalanche. He was the one to hunt down John Dory when everyone thought he was the last Pop Troll. While chasing him down a cliff side, he swung an ice pick straight through John Dory's left hand.

Sugar Gals - SPICE GIRLS TROLLS! I absolutely can picture young JD being so frustrated if BroZone was overtaken on the charts by a rival group

Crimp - goes to work for King Gristle and Queen Bridget after TBT.

Guy Diamond - Trolls have eggs when they have powerful feelings of love. Guy Diamond was able to have Tiny because he loves himself so much.

Tiny Diamond - checks on Branch and Poppy's egg daily asking if his new BFFL is here yet.

Tiny Diamond - the best wingman! E.g. He's hanging out with JD and starts playing up the baby image to lure in the ladies. "I wuv you Uncle John. You're my best friend!" And the ladies are like "Aww!" Tiny whispers "You're welcome"

Cloud Guy - gave Branch 101 reasons why he should officiate his and Poppy's wedding.

Queen Barb - messing with the Rock String made Thrash lose his mind and made Barb more aggressive. Notice they both seemed to be more level headed after the strings were destroyed?

Riff - studying to work in Aged Care. His studies are sponsored so that he can look after King Thrash.

Boom - Floyd's solo music helped Boom when he was coming out. 🏳️‍🌈

King Peppy - Didn't tell Poppy about Viva because he was in the early stages of dementia. (Canon?) For a while he thought Poppy WAS Viva. By the time he realised his 'mistake', Poppy was already grown.

Vacay Island - the brothers sometimes help Bruce at his restaurant. They have name tags with funny 'work names'. Flood, Big Fish, Classy, and Big Brunch. Viva and Poppy have done the odd shift as well, as Pinky and Diva. 😝

#dreamworks trolls #trolls #trolls band together #trolls movie #trolls brozone #trolls branch #trolls floyd #character design #trolls clay #trolls john dory #trolls bruce #broppy #trolls poppy #trolls viva

[lionlena]

Unforgivable mistake (JoelMillerxreader) Part 10

Summary: Reader is much younger than Joel and is in love with  him. One night, after arguing with Tess and getting drunk, Joel spends  the night with a reader, but in the morning he breaks her heart…  She  runs away from Boston hoping that she will never meet this cold bastard  again in her life. But almost six years later, she unexpectedly sees  Joel in Jackson. She decides to hide herself and her little secret from  this asshole.

Warnings: age gap (reader is about 28 years, Joel 58),  strong language, swearing, past trauma, bullying, attempted rape, memories of sexual abuse, unprotect p in v,  dom!Joel, Joel is asshole, ANGST, hurt, sadness and heartbreaking, sexual harassment, women abuse, violence, injury, sickness.

I'm sorry you had to wait for this new chapter for so long. I hope I will write 11 much faster ;)

Part 10

You spent a few more days with Anna and Toby, helping them and making sure they would be ready for winter.

You were surprised at how well you all were doing. You fell into a nice rhythm. You got up first and made breakfast for everyone with Anna's help. Ellie also helped you sometimes. Teddy would get up and go straight to Joel. He often spent a few more minutes napping with his dad. Then Joel came to the kitchen with his son. Meanwhile, Toby also showed up. You ate breakfast and together planned the work that needed to be done. Once you were ready to go to work, Teddy was left in the care of Ellie and Toby.

You were positively surprised by how you all worked together. No arguments or misunderstandings. You worked together like a family.

In the evening you came back for dinner and you all spent time together playing games and having fun. If you weren't very tired, you went for a short walk with Joel.

You noticed that he was trying to give you space, but he still couldn't stop himself from hugging you and kissing your cheek, but you didn't mind.

The day always ended the same. You fell asleep in Joel's arms wearing his T-shirt and woke up in the morning.

But last night you couldn't sleep. You lay next to Joel, who was snoring lightly, and you thought about how surreal this moment was.

It's as if everything Joel did in Boston happened to someone else.

Sometimes you imagined things would have turned out differently. Joel approached you at the bar and asked if he could walk you home. Of course, you agreed. On the stairs, Joel tripped and you held him. He kissed you… Passionately and gently. Then he took you to his apartment and made love to you… No, he didn't fuck you… He was gentle and caring, and after it was all over, you fell asleep together in each other's arms. But in the morning Joel sobered up and realized that he had made a mistake. He apologized to you and told you that he wouldn't leave Tess, that you were just a child to him and he shouldn't take advantage of your naivety. Of course, that would break your heart too, you would scream and cry, but then you would calm down. The next day you would set out with Claudia into the unknown and... What would happen then? Did you fall in love with someone else?

You sighed heavily and rolled over. After a while, you felt a gentle kiss on the back of your neck and heard his hoarse, sleepy voice.

"Is something wrong, darling? Can't you sleep?"

You were silent for a moment, not sure if you should share your thoughts with him. You knew that was what a good relationship was all about, but… You also knew that Joel felt really bad about himself. He wanted to forget about how he treated you. But the problem was that it was impossible to forget. This had to be worked through.

“I think,” you finally said. "Would... Would we be here now, together, if our first time had been different? Or maybe I would have already had someone... A boyfriend, a husband... I don't know, these are stupid thoughts..."

You could feel how Joel was tense. Like you caused him physical pain, but he still wanted to be supportive of you.

"Hey, hey baby, it's not stupid… I…" His voice became almost a whisper. "Sometimes I think what would have happened if you had stayed in Boston... I don't know if it would have been better... I'm actually happy that Teddy was born here. He wouldn't have had such a happy childhood in Boston."

You nodded because you knew he was right. You wouldn't want to raise Teddy in this dirty and violent place.

You felt Joel hug you tighter and press his face into your back. You didn't want him to be so sad. You gently stroked his hand that rested on your stomach.

"Joel?"

"Hmm?"

"What happened... It had to happen... for us to be where we are now and... We just have to live with it and move on."

Joel placed a gentle kiss on the back of your neck again.

"I don't deserve you. You're too good, too sweet, too caring... You're perfect."

You smiled softly.

"You may not deserve it, but it's what you get. Deal with it."

After a while, you added:

"There's something else."

"What?"

What you were going to say was a distortion of reality, but you felt the need to say it.

"If Teddy ever asks about our beginnings, we will lie to him. Do you understand? I'm not doing it just for you, but mainly for him. I want him to know that he was created because his mom and dad loved each other... Then we argued over something stupid and we broke up before we discovered I was pregnant. But we wanted to have children, we loved each other..."

Joel murmurs softly into your neck:

"Thank you."

You couldn't see his face, but if you turned around you would see tears in his eyes.

*

The next day you said goodbye to Anna and Toby and promised them you would come back soon. Even Ellie seemed sad to leave them.

When you entered the gates of Jackson, it was already evening and you were all tired. You hoped that you would put your baby son to bed quickly and rest, but... Tired Teddy was sometimes cranky. You helped him get to the ground and he immediately was clinging to Joel, whining and looking at daddy with pleading eyes. Joel picked him up and rubbed his back soothingly.

"What's the matter 'bear cub'?"

"I want you to sing me at bedtime." The baby boy whined.

Joel laughed lightly and ruffled Teddy's hair.

"Of course."

You just rolled your eyes, already knowing what was coming. And you were right. It didn't end with one song. Teddy also wanted you to tell him a story and hug him. Then he wanted his dad to bring him something to drink and hug him. Then he wanted both of you... Then again only dad. And he said all this while looking at you with those sweet but tired brown eyes of his, so neither of you could even get angry at him.

Joel sat down next to you on the couch with a huff after singing a song to his son for the fourth time.

"He fell asleep..."

You giggled slightly.

"Well, apparently he inherited my fondness for your voice."

Joel smiled to himself. He couldn't deny that your words brought a pleasant warm feeling to his chest.

"I think that's not the only thing he inherited from you. He's sweet, but sometimes he's…"

Joel looked at you and you frowned. Feigning indignation you said:

"You mean he's stubborn like me."

Joel looked at you, flustered, and scratched the back of his neck.

"No... that's not what I meant...what I meant was that he's relentless."

You laughed and gave him an amused look.

"Relax. I'm just joking."

Joel sighed and leaned further into the couch. He closed his eyes.

"I'm tired."

You nodded.

"Me too. I'll fall asleep as soon as I put my head on the pillow."

With a groan, Joel stood up and leaned down to give you a kiss on the cheek.

"Good night. See you tomorrow."

You closed your eyes and whispered.

"Good night."

*

However, some time later you discovered how wrong you were. You were tired, and yet you were rolling over on the mattress for an hour. You couldn't find a comfortable position on the bed and it was ridiculous. The bed at Anna and Toby's house was uncomfortable, and yet you slept perfectly well... Did you really get used to Joel's presence that quickly?

You groaned in frustration and got out of bed. You remembered Joel's warmth and scent, his solid chest...

“Ugh…Y/N, pull yourself together.”

You decided to go to the kitchen and get something to drink. You poured yourself some water and leaned against the kitchen counter. You felt that your drowsiness had completely left you. You were still extremely tired and wondering what you could do when you heard a soft knock. At first, you froze. A shiver of fear ran through your body. Who could be knocking on your door so late? You carefully looked out the window and immediately took a breath. Even in the dim light, you would recognize who this silhouette belongs to. You opened the door with a slight smile.

"Joel, what happened?"

You were sure he had gone to bed long ago. You stepped aside to let him in and you noticed that he looked tired.

"I wanted to ask the same thing, I noticed you had the light on in the bedroom and the kitchen and... I wanted to check if everything was okay with you, and Teddy."

You nodded and looked at him gratefully. It was nice to feel that someone cared about you and your son. You led him to the kitchen, where you sat down across from each other.

"Teddy's sleeping... I can't sleep..."

And then suddenly something hit you. Joel wouldn't be able to see your bedroom window and kitchen from his house, which meant...

"Joel? What were you doing exactly? Wandering around? I thought you were already asleep."

Joel shrugged and rubbed his face.

"I can't sleep," he muttered quietly.

You raised your eyebrows and huffed in amusement.

"You? You never have trouble falling asleep."

He looked at you as if you had offended him. "I don't fall asleep on watch." Then, a little shyly, he replied: "The bed seems too big to me."

You felt your heart beat faster, understanding what he meant, but you decided to tease him some more.

"Have you tried falling asleep on the couch?"

Joel gasped in surprise. "I... Umm... Maybe I really should."

You started laughing and stood up from your seat. You walked up to him and stood in between his legs, resting your hands on his shoulders and looking down at him.

"I think I slept better with you next to me."

Joel sighed in relief and gently placed his hands on your hips. "Me too, honey... Do you think... Do you think we can sleep in the same bed tonight?"

You bit your lip and smiled. You had another idea.

"It does not make sense."

Joel looked at you with sadness, even fear. He started to wonder what he had done wrong and was about to remove his hands from your body when you said:

"Living next to each other, instead of together." Joel's eyes lit up. "I think I'm ready... The last week we spent together showed me that this would be the best and easiest thing. Let's be honest, Joel... We won't be able to sleep tomorrow either... And the day after tomorrow."

Joel very carefully began to stroke your sides. "Do I understand this correctly? Will you and Teddy live with me and Ellie?"

You smiled and replied, "Yes."

Joel pulled you closer to him and hugged you tightly. You started stroking his hair and slowly felt sleepiness coming back to you. You were about to ask him to go to the bedroom with you when you heard his hesitant question.

"Y/N, what are we exactly? Don't get me wrong, I don't want to force you to define our relationship... I just don't know. Are we boyfriend and girlfriend?"

You giggled at his expression. Joel wasn't the best at these kinds of conversations, but he sure was sweet.

"I don't know." You answered honestly. "We are the parents of a wonderful baby boy, that's for sure. We've become friends, despite our complicated past... And I guess we're partners... You know, I mean... Friends don't do that..."

You leaned up and lightly kissed him on the lips and he grunted in pleasure. His hand ran through your hair. When you pulled away from him, you both sighed in contentment. You rested your forehead against his and sighed. His large hands caressed your sides and back. You felt the heat coming from his body and for you, it was like sleeping pills. You moved away from him a bit and muttered:

"I don't know how to define exactly what's going on between us. But does it matter? We'll figure it out later but for now... Let's go to sleep."

Joel eagerly followed you to the bedroom. He stripped down to his boxers and t-shirt. As you lay down next to him, a wave of peace immediately washed over you. All he had to do was wrap his arms around you and you immediately began to drift off to sleep. Before you fell asleep completely, you felt Joel kiss your head tenderly.

*

A few days later, you officially moved in with Joel and Ellie. You were sure of your decision. You really felt like it was the right thing to do. Not only did it make taking care of Teddy easier, but it also made your relationship with Joel stronger and took it to a new level. Not to mention that your son went crazy with joy. You've never seen him pack his things so quickly. And he didn't even complain. With a broad smile on his face, he moved his things to the new house and new room. Seeing his happy face filled you with joy and peace.

You thought that nothing could disturb your peace. But you were wrong.

*

You were feeding the horses when Ellie ran into the stable.

“Y/N!”

You looked carefully at the teenage girl. She looked nervous and you immediately stopped what you were doing.

"Something happened?"

Ellie took a deep breath as if trying to steady her nerves.

"Well... Did you hear that new people have arrived?"

You nodded and wondered why that would be a reason to be nervous. You thought it was good that the community was growing. You calmly replied:

"Yes, Sofia has already told me everything. Two older women, one younger with a little daughter, and two teenage boys. Is that right?"

Ellie still didn't look calm.

"Yes and umm... This young woman..."

"What about her?"

Ellie opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again, and took a deep breath.

"She's fine, she's just..."

“Y/N!”

You both looked at Maria as she entered the stable. You smiled slightly when you saw her pregnant belly. You still had a tense relationship from the moment you stood up for Joel, but you still wished her the best.

Maria gave you and Ellie a weak smile and immediately decided to get to the point.

"Is your old house available now?"

Her question surprised you. The truth was that you left a few things behind because... Despite the feelings you felt for Joel and the certainty that you had made the right decision, you wanted an emergency exit. You felt you had the right to do so after everything you had been through.

"Uh... Actually... I left some summer clothes there and... A few other things."

Maria raised her eyebrows. "I thought your move to Joel's was permanent."

You felt an unpleasant pang in your chest. "Because it is." You said quickly and maybe a little too loudly. "I just didn't have time to move everything, so I decided some things could stay there for now."

"I understand, but I would like you to take everything away. Your old house will become a new home for our new resident, her daughter, and her elderly mother."

You felt like you were out of breath. You were sure that you would have a happy future with Joel, but... The uncertainty was still inside you and it was hard for you to come to terms with losing your safe oasis that was your home so quickly. But you knew there was no point in arguing about it. You tried to look casual as you said,

"Oh... Yeah, sure. I'll do it soon."

Ellie looked at you sympathetically and quickly added, "I'll help you."

Maria nodded. "Okay. I'll come with them soon."

Before you left the stables, Ellie grabbed your arm.

"Maybe let's talk to Joel so he can talk to Tommy. It's not fair that Maria is taking your house. There are several other empty houses in the city. She's doing it maliciously."

You sighed heavily and shook your head. "No, Ellie... I don't want Joel to know that I wanted an escape route. He's trying so hard to make things better between us. I don't want him to think that I doubt him... That I assume that it won't work out. Maybe it's for the best."

Ellie nodded and you both started walking towards your old house. You saw that the teenage girl was thinking about something. She obviously wanted to tell you something, but she didn't know how. But you didn't have time to ask her about it. You focused on getting all your things as quickly as possible.

With Ellie's help, it went really smoothly. You were just taking the last box outside when you noticed Maria with three new Jackson residents in front of the house. You almost dropped the box and looked at Ellie. You realized that was what she was trying to tell you.

The young woman who stood next to Maria looked like a younger version of Tess. You felt a knot in your stomach and swallowed hard. You wanted to scream at the universe and ask why it hated you. Then you woke up. Just because she looked like Tess, didn't mean Joel would abandon you. But still, you couldn't help but feel uneasy that a woman who looked like your partner's former lover would be living next door. You heard Ellie lightly clear her throat as she tried to bring you back to reality.

"Oh, hello... The house is empty now."

Maria nodded. "That's great. I present to you Emily, her mother Lucia, and her daughter Rose."

The little girl waved at you shyly and you tried to smile. She was a similar age to Teddy, so Joel... You mentally cursed yourself for your ridiculous thoughts. Joel was in love with you and Teddy was his world. He wouldn't abandon you just because some woman looked like Tess and had a daughter.

“I'm Y/N, this is Ellie…” You felt your voice shake slightly. "We live next door with my son Teddy and... My... My partner Joel."

You tried to make the word "partner" sound as loud as possible. Ellie looked at you with her eyebrows slightly raised. Well, you will be going to explain to her what "marking territory" means when she is older.

"How old is your son?" Emily asked.

"He'll be seven soon."

"Oh, that's wonderful. Rose turned six a month ago... I hope that once we get settled and rest, we'll get to know each other better."

You stuck a fake smile on your face.

"That would be great, now... Let's go now. We still have a few things to do, right Ellie?"

The girl nodded nervously. "Yeah, sure... We have to make dinner for Joel..."

"That's right. See you later."

As soon as you entered the house, you threw the box in the corner and immediately stood by the window in the living room, where you could see your 'old' house.

"Is this what you wanted to tell me?" you asked, quickly glancing at Ellie.

The girl nodded and carefully approached you.

"She is not that similar... On closer view, she is actually completely different."

You smiled slightly at her attempts at comfort and looked out the window again.

"She's very similar" you muttered sadly.

Ellie immediately tried to distract you from your bad thoughts.

"Hey, let's go to the kitchen... I'm hungry and... Standing by the window won't change anything."

You nodded and moved towards her. Ellie was right. Standing by the window and staring at Tess's doppelgänger didn't change anything. But there was something else you needed to know.

"Ellie, has Joel seen her yet?"

The teenage girl shrugged.

"I do not know, probably no."

"Okay. Let's go get something to eat."

For the rest of the day, you tried to keep your mind occupied. But no matter what you did, you always glanced towards your former home.

When Joel returned, you began to watch him carefully and waited for the right moment to talk. He acted very normal. He gave you a kiss on the cheek to greet you, he played with Teddy and, unlike you, he didn't constantly glance towards the window. You started to wonder if he had seen Emily. If not, maybe you can somehow maintain this state longer. Then you rolled your eyes... That was a ridiculous idea. How would you implement this plan? You would lock Joel in the house, or maybe you would cover his eyes? Tess's doppelgänger literally lived on your doorstep.

"Darling?"

His deep voice brought you out of your thoughts. You were sitting on the couch and looking out the window.

"Huh?"

Joel sat down next to you and gently placed his hand on your knee. He looked at you worriedly.

"This is about your house? Right."

You blinked your eyes in shock. Well, Joel may not have gotten to the heart of the problem, but he was close.

"I... It's not..."

Joel gave you a reassuring smile.

“It's okay that you wanted to still have a safe place. I don't blame you for that and…” He gently lifted your chin so you were looking straight into his eyes. "I want you to be aware that if things don't work out between us, I will move out. You don't have to worry about not having a home."

You felt a surge of gratitude. It was surprising how well Joel already knew you. But not being able to return to your previous home wasn't the only problem. You had to bring this up. There was no point in running away from it anyway.

"Have you seen our new neighbor?" you asked quietly and he nodded. “She reminds me of Tess,” you said even more quietly and swallowed.

You watched Joel's face carefully for any signs of nervousness, but he still looked at you calmly. Not a muscle in his face even twitched at the mention of Tess.

"I don't know... Maybe a little. Does it matter?"

You gave him a look like, "Seriously?"

"You were in a relationship with Tess."

Joel looked at you surprised. He was still trying to figure out what this had to do with your new neighbor.

"Yes, I was in a relationship with Tess and it was... A specific relationship. We were comfortable together. You know? Tess was a convenient option for me in Boston. We worked and slept together." Joel grabbed your hands. "But I don't know if that relationship would last here. I think I would probably be too interested in you and would like to spend time with Teddy."

You could hear the genuine sincerity in his voice and it calmed your nerves a bit.

"Okay. I guess I got a little carried away with anxiety and the ridiculous idea that you and Emily... It's stupid."

Joel pulled you to him and kissed your forehead.

"Wait... What were you afraid of? That I would abandon you as soon as I saw someone like Tess." Joel couldn't hide the slight amusement in his voice. "Honey, she's just a woman of similar looks like Tess... I don't know her. And her looks don't matter because I only have my eyes on one woman."

He gently brushed his lips against yours.

"Only you."

You sighed and relaxed in his arms. For a moment you forgot about your anxiety. Joel wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tighter. You rested your head on his chest and tried to focus on his heartbeat, but deep inside you still felt this unexplainable fear. You felt the shadows of your past return and you were afraid they would consume you.

Part 9

Part 11

Taglist: @casa-boiardi @noisynightmarepoetry @ihavetwoholesforareason @sloanexx @creedslove @orcasoul @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @i-workwithpens @milla-frenchy @liatome @jojo-munson @pascalislove @goldenhxurs @elliaze @aestheticangel612 @cheyxfu @prestinalove @stevengmybeloved @faith-alons26​ @harriedandharassed @this--is--music ​@joeldjarin @elliaze @ajeff855 @anislabonis-love @quality-lust @sarahhxx03 @sofiparallel @misshoneypaper

*I don't know if tags work ;( If anyone knows how to make them work, let me know

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #joel miller #the last of us #joel miller fanfiction #joel x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fic #angst #hurt comfort #unforgivable mistake

[mayadoesfandomstuff]

Sometimes when I think back on Gravity Falls I just find it funny that, even if we've never seen Mr. and Mrs. Pines before except maybe their arms on the first episode, we just know that they're actually a bunch of weirdo but pretty good parents:

They named their kids Mabel and Mason which aren't really the most common twin names in 1999 because they weren't like those other parents who'd name their kids Jennifer or something as Alex said. He even confirms they're pretty counterculture.

Instead of sending the twins to his probably decent father for vacation to get fresh air, Mr. Pines sends them to his (obviously) criminal uncle in a weird tourist trap in the woods that obviously scams people.

Mabel gets to wear one of her dad's souvenir work shirts for her pajamas and I find that wholesome.

Dipper's mom used to put him in a lamb costume when he was still a toddler and he does a little dance which is embarrassing but also pretty cute honestly. He didn't seem to have issues with this until he reached "maturity" age.

The twins had matching Halloween costumes since they were basically toddlers and they seemingly put a lot of effort into them so that means that they're very open with the kids and their creativity and most likely helped them with their more complex outfits or that they're willing to spend extra cash on giving their kids cool matching outfits that they enjoy

The mail the kids send them say so much about how positive their relationship are with their kids.

Dipper blatantly explains in a postcard sent to them that there are cryptids in the town and even begs them for weapons. Mabel straight up excitedly wants to send their mom a video of her shoving gummy worms up her nose.

This probably means they're open-minded enough to let their kids do these weird things and for their kids to even share them with them with little hesitation.

Even with Mabel being initially upset that their parents wouldn't let Waddles stay (Honestly in another perspective is understandable because how are you going to care for a farm pig in suburban California? It might take a lot of work and it's probably not the best conditions to keep an unconventional pet when you're not used to it. Like we all know Waddles is great but practically speaking it's a lot to ask someone to let their kid keep a farm animal.), we know that they probably let Waddles stay anyway after Stan forces Waddles on the bus home.

They celebrate every holiday because Mabel wants to.

Some other observations on how the twins act that could clue us in on how their parents are. These are more headcanon-leaning but yeah.

Mabel's wonderchild personality filled with sparkles and rainbows definitely show that they didn't suppress her weirdness.

The scrapbooking also adds to the idea that Mabel was definitely allowed to be super creative.

Dipper's unhinged mystery solving behavior (honestly forgot how unhinged he really was until I rewatched the show this year) definitely shows that they probably didn't suppress his weird tendencies either.

Dipper, despite his child-aged pettiness (which is normal mind you), is able to handle intense social situations and could even find the appropriate words even when things are a little too complex. The standout example I could think of was learning of the true extent of Pacifica's abuse and how he's able to find a way to give her the courage to stand up against it. Definitely the most headcanon leaning but I do think that this could also be influenced to a more open household.

The twins truly don't have bad blood between them which means that it's possible that their parents had raised them in a relatively healthy (or at least healthier than others) environment. At the very least, if there was favoritism, it wasn't obvious to cause them any resentment for each other.

I could add more but that's all what's in my brain right now.

#mayaposts #gravity falls #mason pines #dipper pines #mabel pines #mr. pines #dad pines #mrs. pines #mom pines #long post

[yutasenpie]

jeong jaehyun; detached

warnings: difficult in laws , self deprecating thoughts

you didn't know why jaehyun loved you. you burdened him and people never let you forget.

“you need to accept the fact that he doesn't love you and he never will.” his mother said to you.

it was your first time meeting his parents and all of a sudden the feelings of anxiety you felt before entering her home resurfaced. you felt sick to your stomach, the dinner that she prepared ready to claim its spot back on the table.

he had left for a minute, needing to refill his glass, but time had never felt so long in that moment.

“mrs-” “and even if he does there'll always be a part of him that'll regret not loving anyone else besides you. you don't belong and will never be accepted into this family.”

you took all of her words with your head lowered. how pathetic of you to possibly think otherwise.

you felt an outsider, both his parents staring you down with a sour countenance, baring you with their eyes and sizing you down to nothing more than an object.

you didn't belong here. you didn't deserve this position.

“how are my beautiful family doing,” your fiancés voice shook you out of your thoughts.

his dad greeted him with a chuckle. he was a carbon copy. they all looked so happy in the moment, widened smiles filling their faces - a happy family.

despite being only an arms reach from his parents across the dining table of a deep, rich mahogany, you watched from afar , a heavy reminder of your estrangement from this family.

“you okay there love?” jae caught you out again, your head against the window of his car, invading his space as you never seemed to stopped doing.

the roads were dark and stretched on. the familiar streets felt foreign even as you headed home.

“just thinking,” you responded, smile on your face, but it wasn't like the one you had seen them all share.

he chucked, “i wish i could peer into your mind. always so many thoughts.”

he was right. there was never silence in your mind.

only a raging storm of thoughts you could never articulate. his presence would always soothe the noise, lulling the sounds to a hum.

now it sounded like a chorus.

“you don't belong here” resonated within the confined space, sending you spiralling in your seat.

a familiar heavy lump turned in the back of your throat , along with a faucet welling up in your eyes, your ears ringing as you grit your teeth forcing your tears away.

you barely noticed as the car came to a halt.

“ready baby?” he asked, smiling through tired eyes.

the night had gone so well for him, there was no need for you to wreck his peace; wreck his life.

you reciprocated the action, undoing your seatbelt as he rushed over to open your door. you didn’t deserve him.

the house you two had bought, much to his parent’s demise, now felt cold and strange , as though you were a tenant in someone else’s place.

your clothes hung alongside his, looked as though they took up the space for someone else. smaller, prettier.

his arms that had caged you from harm, and circled you with love now felt as though they didn’t fit yours the way they used to, instead uncomfortably wrapping around folds of skin.

you were no princess but you felt lump digging into your back as you lay beside him.

you didn't feel distressed however. you’d learned to ease into his hold despite how much you felt like a fraud.

it was obvious you two weren't a perfect fit, your dampening aura just slightly repelling his. you weren't an idiot.

you knew you didn't deserve him, but it felt so good not having to prove you're worth something.

you had become accustomed to being his burden,  as long as it meant you could believe jaehyun loved you.

#nct 127 imagines #jaehyun imagines #jung jaehyun imagines #jeong jaehyun imagines #nct 127 angst #jaehyun angst

[oddballwriter]

💳💥💳💥💳 THE SYSTEM WITH A METALHEAD I BEG OF YOU!! ( if comfy ofc )

Like short 5'2-5'3 reader who looks SCARY as shit and wears all black+tatted but is super cutesy until someone says the wrong shit and they get absolutely insane?

feel like steven would be like raging heart eyes

( maybe smutty maybe not either wayyy..)

- 🌑

Steven Grant

Steven was scared of you at first, that's for sure. The all black and scary look definitely worked on him

It wouldn't be until you approached him that he realized you weren't going to bite him

He finds the difference between the two of you funny, positively.

To me, he seems more like a listener of ABBA and The B-52, those kind of older songs that are more up beat. Something that some suburban dad definitely has on vinyl

I firmly believe that Steven fucking loves the B-52s for some reason, he just has those vibes

Softer type of music, you know? Definitely not metal

But he does enjoy that you're kind and really nice rather than acting the part of how you look

But the one time when you two were out and someone insulted you both and you proceeded to yell at them and cuss them out was a day that he thinks about a lot. You weren't even yelling at them for insulting you, you just tore them a new one because they insulted him

He felt something that day, and he's not saying that he wants you to yell at him, but if you bossed him around a little then he's going to do it with a tent in his pants

He's too embarrassed to admit that but it's defiantly something that's there and you'll catch on someday

Back to the actual topic though, Steven doesn't like metal but he supports you liking it since it makes you happy

Would attend a concert with you but he'd have ear plugs in so that the music doesn't hurt his ears or stress him out

Also, you will have to leave him in the back because he's not going in the mosh pit, he would not survive. I'm sorry but he's not built for that

Marc Spector

Okay, Marc doesn't really listen to metal, he's not an avid metal listener. But I'm sure he's listened to a few songs and knows the more mainstream bands

He thinks you're cool though. Similar to my HCs for them with a goth partner, he finds it fascinating how you don't care how people perceive you and just be yourself. You're happy and he uses that as inspiration to be himself too

Marc would listen to metal music with you if it comes up, maybe you expand his knowledge of the genre

Do I think he'd handle a mosh pit? No, I think it would stress him out too much. Too much is happening and it freaks him out. Loves seeing you having fun though so go mosh for him

Marc also respects the fact that you're still polite and not true to how people think you would be, but 100% if you tell someone off then he's all for it. You tell 'em!

Since I went on a whole side tangent on Steven's music tastes, it's only right I do it for Marc

Marc sort of shares the same taste as Steven where he listens to songs that were around when they were younger. He's a classics kind of guy. He likes it when he hears people from back then on the radio

This man refuses to leave the 80's and 90's music scene. You will have to pry it from him in the field of reeds

Jake Lockley

Jake is such a "I love all genres" guy, he listens to everything and finds something to like in it. Even country, yeah sure modern country sucks but older ones are the ones he talks about when e talks about country music

So yeah, Jake definitely likes metal and can get into it. So feel free to play it around him

He also thinks you're cool and loves your whole look. Buys a shirt to match

100% would love to see you tear someone a new one so long as they deserve it. This man is an enabler, he's in the back cheering you on

Also, if you ask him to go to a concert with you, he will say yes so fast

Jake would survive the mosh pit, he would thrive

It lets him let out some stuff that he's been holding back and energy that he can't really put anywhere else

Honestly Jake would be so clearly into your whole metalhead life. He thinks it's hot. He finds it sexy. There's something about the loud music and look that does something for him and he's not going to hide that

Honestly, yell at him in bed, it'll be good foreplay if you're down

#moon knight #moonknight #moon knight x reader #moonknight x reader #steven grant #marc spector #jake lockley #steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #jake lockely x reader

[j0elmill3r]

Sarah comforting baby girl after boyfriend broke her heart

(No outbreak AU)

Pairing - Joel Miller x Daughter!Reader, Sarah Miller x Sister!Reader

Summary - Grown up baby girl experiences her first high school break-up with her shitty girlfriend.

CW - Breakups, heartbreak, angst, implied domestic abuse, toxic relationship

Word Count - 

A/N - Something a bit different! I hope everyone enjoys and as always, likes, reblogs and feedback is always appreciated! Baby girl is also queer because I said so :]

Joel Miller Masterlist

-

Joel and Sarah both snapped their heads up to the front door, confusion on their faces as you walked into the house, slamming the front door behind you as you stormed in and up the stairs. Joel turned to look at his oldest, visiting from college during her midterm break to see her father and younger sister, who appeared to be in a very emotional state. 

"That didn't sound good," Sarah said to Joel, flinching slightly at the sound of you slamming your bedroom door shut. "You should probably go check on her, dad." She advised him. Nothing much particularly scared Joel - but an exception could be made for teenage girls; specifically his teenage girls, but especially you as of late. He thought that the whole hormonal teenage girl thing ended when you would turn 17, but it had seemingly gotten worse since you'd gotten with your girlfriend. 

"That's terrifying, I love Y/N but she terrifies me," Joel admitted, rolling his eyes as Sarah started laughing. "Okay, okay, why don't you go on check on her? Since you seem so brave." He challenged her, watching as she thought about it before standing up from her position on the couch.

"Okay," She smiled and headed up to your bedroom, knocking gently on your door. "Y/N? Can I come in?" Sarah asked through the door, tentatively waiting for a response from you.

"Fuck off!" You yelled. Well, she wasn't quite sure what she was expecting from her very emotional and temperamental younger sister - Sarah hardly expected you to be up for a chat given your clearly emotional state.

"Please? it's Sarah," She tried to reason with you, resting her head against your bedroom door in the hopes you would open it. Thankfully, you unlocked and opened the door, facing your sister with tears in your eyes which stained your face. "You look like shit." She told you, you scoffed at your sister's comment, it was how you typically spoke to each other, but you weren't feeling it right now.

"What do you want, Sarah?" You asked her, rubbing your puffy eyes.

"What happened? Why are you so upset?" She asked you, concern lacing her tone as she looked at you. You sighed as you looked down, hanging your head.

"She broke up with me," You mumbled, talking about your girlfriend who you had been seeing for 7 months. Sarah's jaw dropped - from the way you talked about this girl, you would have thought you were getting married in the coming weeks, Joel and Sarah had even met her and liked her. But here you were now, heartbroken over the very girl you had fallen head over heels for.

"She what? Oh my God," Sarah was big sister angry. "Did she say why?" She asked you, coming into your room as she followed you to your bed.

"No, she just said it," You cried. Sarah frowned as she put her arm around you to try and comfort you, she had been through her fair share of high school breakups, but she knew that you were taking this particularly bad - You were convinced that you were spending the rest of your life with this girl. "But I think she's already with someone else now." You sniffled, a prominent frown on your face as you looked down at your lap. Sarah smiled sadly as she hugged you tightly, normally you hated when she tried to hug you, but you needed it right now, so didn't even bother trying to protest.

"It's okay, you were too good for anyway," Sarah tried to assure you, unsure of whether it would work or whether you would just start crying even more - It showed to be the latter. Panicking, Sarah hugged you tighter. "I know, okay, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it like that. But I meant it, I know that you loved her but she didn't seem too good for you. You weren't yourself and you weren't happy with her, Y/N."

You knew that your sister was right - She was a bad influence on you, she had you sneaking and staying out late,  coming in drunk at all hours of the morning, skipping school. None of that was you, you were a good kid, you knew that, Sarah knew that, Joel knew that, everyone did. Which was why those around you became concerned when you started acting out - your dad knew it was more than you trying to be an angsty teenager, you were always sorry for the things you did, it wasn't like you were trying to rebel against him. Joel knew that he really didn't like your girlfriend when you came home with a hand shaped bruise around your neck that you didn't know how to explain to him.

You sighed as you accepted defeat and looked up at your sister, accepting that she was right - Sarah knew you better than you would have liked to admit, and like it or not, she was talking sense; you weren't happy or yourself with your now ex-girlfriend.

"I guess..." You thought about it for a second before sighing. "You're right." You mumbled, unable to meet your sisters eyes, knowing you'd be met with the smug look that came with your admission of her being right.

"See, I told you," She grinned, hugging you tightly and smiling as you did too. "Listen, you can take as long as you need to get over...whatever her name was, but I know that that girl across the street has the biggest crush on you." Sarah told you, she had caught that girl staring at you when the two of you were out during the summer.

"Yeah yeah, whatever," You laughed, rolling your eyes as you shook your head. "What's her name?" You asked Sarah, looking up at your sister as you rubbed your eyes of the last of your tears.

"I'm not totally sure, Ellie, or something."

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#sarah miller #sarah miller x sister reader #joel tlou #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller hbo #joel miller x daughter!reader #x daughter reader #x daughter #x daughter!reader #pedro pascal joel miller #the last of us #hbo the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #tlou #fan fiction #fanfiction #fanfic

[fieldofdaisiies]

Azriel and reader having sex and intimate moments for the first time after the birth of their twins...❤🙈

oh I like this a lot, and also that you are all so eager for Az being a twin dad❤️ a little explicit

with your baby twins finally staying over at their grandmother's (Azriel's mother) place for the very first time you and Az finally some time for each other

Azriel has decided to cook you both dinne, preparing everything, placing candles on the table, turning on some music

you will enjoy this amazing meal, finally enjoying some alone time

you love the little ones, but this was really well-needed, have you been longing and yearning for some intimacy with your mate for quite a while

he holds your hand when you sip from your wine, talking about anything and everything

later that evening you will head over to the couch, talk a little more

of course this is accompanied by soft touches and gentle kisses that soon lead to more

Azriel will carry you to the bedroom and all of a sudden you feel the sort of anticipation and nervouseness that you felt before your first time with Az

it has been a while since you have been intimate

first you weren't really allowed to, you had to properly heal first

after all you gave birth to twins (with wings)

you are a little nervous of what Azriel will think of your body

it obviously has changed a little after the pregnancy

but Azriel still loves you and your body just the same

and so he makes sure to show you that

Azriel undresses you and kisses every inch of your body, not in a ravishing way, he showers. you in sweet, passionate kisses before finally burying his head between, dipping his tongue into you, worshipping you

he softly guides you through your high, drunk on the taste of you, he was starving and is finally sated–although not fully yet

Azriel takes you in a soft and gentle way, knowing how much your body has been through

you wrap your legs around him while he softly moves inside you, kissing your cleavage, your neck, your jaw, your face, your mouth, whispering sweet nothings and also a little filthy nothings "so beautiful" "doing so well for me love" "still so tight and wet" "you are breathing" "look at how stunning you are with me be buried so deep inside of you" "the most beautiful female in the whole entire world and the best mother"

nothing is rushed that night, he doesn't take you hard or moves fast, Azriel moves inside you with deep, long thrusts, letting your body adjust to him once again

but that does not mean that you will only do it one time

later you will switch positions, Azriel letting you ride him "look at you baby, making your mate feel so good" "just like that." Azriel grins. "such a good girl"

you stay entangled in the sheets until the early morning hours

Azriel lets you sleep him, a little exhausted after the previous night, and goes to pick up your kids

in the days and weeks that follow you will often share kisses, finally finding your way back into your former intimacy (obviously it is less than after you accepted the bond which is absolutely fine and very normal)

the only thing that is now often interrupting you is either one of your kids waking up and requesting their mummy or daddy in the middle of the night

but that is also alright, you and Azriel will laugh about it and just try it again another night

and then there are the days again where they stay over at their grandparents' places

#azriel x reader #azriel headcanons

[canonicallysoulmates]

J2 Gold Panel Nashcon 2023

Before we get into the questions I have to mention that Jared is wearing a Christmas sweater that says 'Shitters Full'. And I have to mention it because of the story of how he got that sweater. When they were having dinner, there was a young lady who was wearing this sweater, and Jared liked it so much that he traded his shirt for it. People pay thousands (not an exaggeration or a joke) for a shirt this man has worn and he just randomly gave one away for a sweater he liked 😂 I love him and congrats to that girl!

Jumping into questions, the first fan doesn't have one they just want to say thank you because in a previous con the boys told the story of a Make-A-Wish kid who visited the set once and the fan really connected with that because they had a Make-A-Wish trip when they were a kid so they know how impactful those things are for chronically ill children. x

The first actual question of the panel is: have they given any more thought to doing Lonesome Dove?

Jensen answers not necessarily, he thinks it’s one of those lofty things that sound like a great idea but there’s been no pen to paper yet.

The fan comments that they just wanted to know if the idea was still alive and they reply it's not dead, and Jared thinks it'd be amazing. x

Did Jensen get the chance to sing or have a jam session with Reba while he was working on Big Sky?

He says one time. They didn't work together a lot because they had separate storylines but they did overlap one day. It was a night shoot, it was really cold, and while the crew was setting up for another shot he and Reba were sitting around the heaters in their cast chairs. This was his first time having her essentially to himself and he told her his favorite song of hers is How Blue, and in that song, there’s a person who sings harmony he asked her if it was her who sang the harmony on top of the melody, and she replied "fun fact for you, that’s actually my sister" and then she told him the story of where they recorded it, it was Nashville in some renovated church that had been turned into a studio so they got into a whole conversation. And then out of nowhere she told him to sing the harmony and she’d sing the melody and they started singing, and he says he was so nervous he thinks he didn’t hit one note. But she was as charming and as lovely as you would hope her to be and that was a moment that he really cherishes. 

He also shares the story about how when their characters first meet - and he thinks this was in the morning of the same day as the singing - they're supposed to shake hands and say their character's names but during like the fourth take she said her name, Reba McEntire, instead of her character name and then went oh shit when she realized. x

The next person wants to know how they like the current Cowboys coach, Mike McCarthy, because he used to be the coach for the Packers and according to this fan he was no good. (They didn't actually say he was no good just that Packer fans weren't thrilled with him when he was coach.)

Jared says they're not thrilled either. Jensen replies he thinks he's doing alright this year to which Jared concedes that he is doing good this year. Jensen thinks it was a little bit of a slow burn for them but he's turned around and he's positioned the team well this year.

Jared makes a crappy dad joke so Jensen asks him if they're doing dad jokes already and when Jared answers yes, Jensen literally pulls a dad joke out of his pocket 😂

The joke is: The gingerbread man went to the doctor's complaining of a sore knee. "A sore knee?" The doctor said. "Have you tried icing it?"

Then he hands the piece of paper that has the joke on it to Jared, and at first, Jared thought he was giving him another joke to read then when he saw it wasn't he just re-read it 😆 x

How does Jared think Sam’s character or storyline would have been changed, or been different, if the show had been on somewhere like HBO which doesn't have the regular standards and guidelines?

Jared replies that he has thought about this, he kind of really enjoys that there are guidelines because otherwise- and at this point Jensen quips you get The Boys.

Jared continues, the reason why he likes guidelines is because you have to be more creative within boundaries. It's how he parents these are the guidelines, these are the rules, this is the box you can’t leave, play within it as opposed to just do anything and everything. He says The Boys is amazing but The Boys wouldn’t work on the CW but that’s what it is and you know that’s what it is; he doesn’t know if when they come back he wants to say fuck, it’s going to be a discussion between him and Jensen, and them and whoever else but he doesn’t know there was something magical and universal, and he points out that there were a dozen or more kids running around the previous day at the con than if he and Jensen had been running around naked saying this or the other on the show, it might not translate and hopefully parents wouldn’t show that to their kids but he doesn’t know, he’s happy with the CW. And also because CW let them work through their growing pains they got 15yrs, he thinks anywhere else they would have been dead in the water.

Jensen says that he thinks it would be an elevated gore-like version of SPN. He doesn’t think necessarily more colorful language or more skin because he doesn’t think that would benefit the story necessarily but he thinks what they could and couldn’t show in regards to scare and blood is something they had to temper so he thinks they’d probably elevate that to an extent if they were on a network or a streamer that allowed it to happen where there aren’t standards and practices. But they pushed the envelope, the writers pushed the envelope like he remembers they couldn’t say prick but they could say dick so the writers wrote an entire season with a guy named Dick Roman just so they could hammer that home, and he thinks that was- like Jared said there were ways to try to push the envelope a bit within the parameters that they had to but as a show that was on a broadcast network they probably took a bit more of a risk and took some chances more so than most network shows. And that was exciting for them but he thinks even if there were no parameters, and they were able to do whatever they wanted to, he doesn’t think it’d be that much different because he doesn’t know if it would serve the story as well.

Jared then tries to make a puzzle metaphor saying if the puzzle has no rules is it really a puzzle. To quote Jensen what??? He tries to explain that if somebody gives you 1,000 pieces of a puzzle but anything can go anywhere who gives a shit. I feel like I understand what he's trying to say but it's so badly worded.

Then things take a turn to the strange because this fan is under the impression that Jensen at some point in a previous con said that Dean had a history of sex work as a child........what???? Jensen is baffled, the crowd is baffled, I am baffled. 

Jared has to step in and say that he’s speaking for Jensen when he says he’s sure that if Jensen ever said anything like that it was in jest and not as actual backstory for the character.

Jensen then says "Yeah, no 'that's too bad we're a broadcast show I really think he would have done some teenage sex work' Yikes!"

For the sake of clarity, I will add the note that I suggest seeing the moment for yourself because I do fear Jensen's answer could be misinterpreted in the written form but to be clear his answer is that he did not say that and the idea is yikes.

The fan tries to continue and mentions something about Dean and drug use but Jared basically cuts her off by saying 'thank you for your question'.  x

Awkward. Moving on.

How do they manage some self-care and love on their mental health?

Jared’s quick answer is he spends a lot of time continuing therapy and trying to better himself, that he had a pretty great session on Friday with his therapist which was great, and even attending cons for example the day prior before he went to the con he went for like a 2hr walk and listened to some music and that was a little piece of peace for him and kind of quiet the brain. For him unfortunately, right now he’s trying to perfect or get better at finding peace when he’s stationary but right now he finds peace when he’s in motion so walking, biking, swimming, whatever so he’s looking to find that inner peace when he’s not moving. He’s working on it though and he knows it can happen.

Jensen says just finding those moments, that for him he doesn’t necessarily have to carve out a specific thing, time, or activity in order to better himself like every morning he gets up and takes his dog for a walk before anybody wakes up at the house. 6am, he’s up and it’s largely before the sun comes up so he’s walking in the dark with the dog and he takes him down the street and he just kinda lets his brain do nothing, looks for the deer, looks for the birds, watches the sun slowly come up, and he doesn’t have to do that he can just wake up when everybody else does and let the dog out he knows how to come back but it’s just a little thing for him that he enjoys doing. And it’s those little things, outside playing with the kids then just standing on the back porch watching them run around and just appreciating those moments when they do arise it calms his brain. That’s what he does. x

What would they most like to be remembered for? Or in other words, if their eulogy could only be three sentences what would they be?

Jensen answers being a light. Jared jokes about being remembered for his big forehead to which Jensen replies, kinda cutely not gonna lie, by pointing to himself and saying "being a light" and then pointing to Jared and saying "being my bounce."

For those like me who don't know what a bounce is, Jared explains that it's a term used in filming when you don't want direct light on someone because it washes them out so you'll shoot direct light at something and bounce it unto the subject. Jensen quips that for 15yrs he never needed bounces cause he just worked opposite of Jared. 

Serious answer, Jensen says if he could be remembered as somebody who brought positivity to the world in some way shape, or form and it maybe inspired one person to be a better person, he’d be happy. Jared says that he is and we all know that 🥹 

Jared answers that he thinks there’s something really ironic about this situation and that they’re on stage because he realy believes they’re both introverts. Like Jensen's not going out red carpeting every day or asking about the new party he’s home with his family, and his dog, and himself and it's the same with him so trying to kind of dissect why they do what they do, he’d rather mean something to the fans and the people he interacts with than win an Oscar. He doesn’t know the three sentences but hopefully, he would rather have two or three people say he helped them than 30 million people buy a ticket to his concert or something and not really give a shit. Which is something he loves from his journey from Gilmore Girls to SPN to now Walker, and Jensen’s journey, is that they were never plastered on the billboards outside of Times Square or on every talk show so when someone came up they weren’t like 'hey you're that famous person on something can I take a picture?' instead they tell him about watching his shows with people they love and that’s much more meaningful to him than any award from somebody who has never met them. 

What Jared says makes Jensen think of how he recently met Cary Elwes, and he shared with him that he had posted a video a few years back of him sitting on the couch with his daughter explaining the story of Princess Bride while they were watching it, and meeting him now he had to tell him how that was such a special memory for him, how he loves that movie, he thinks it’s amazing, his daughter still watches it to this day and he was sure Cary is sick of hearing this and that people tell him Princess Bride stories all the time but Cary was like no, no, no it is the gift that keeps on giving and that in fact on his tombstone it’ll probably read "mostly dead". And if you don't understand that reference go watch Princess Bride right now. Literally, stop reading this post, go watch it, then come back. And if you do understand the reference, go watch it anyway, it's a great movie. x

If they could make a bumper sticker with their parent’s catchphrase on it what would it be?

Jared’s gonna go with his dad cause he had four words that he basically said if you do this you’re gonna be alright: don’t speed, don’t tailgate. So bumper sticker: "Don’t speed, don’t tailgate. You should be okay."

Jensen says he doesn’t know if he has a catchphrase that he probably has more catchphrases than his dad he'd probably be "what are we doing?". Jared suggests "so get this". x

If they had to pick their funniest moment on set what would it be?

Jared says French Mistake is pretty great, that Jensen killed him during Yellow Fever. That he saw an interview with Christina Applegate talking about doing Anchor Man with Will Ferrel and she said that it sucks that the funniest stuff he did is not in the movie because she was laughing so it couldn't be used, and he feels that's a lot of the stuff that he did with Jensen he'd just be laughing.

Jensen says it’s funny in hindsight, and they were laughing at the time, but when Kim Manners pranked them when filming Bugs. Quick version of the story for those that may not know it is that when they were filming Bugs, the scene where the boys have to go down the manhole that was a set piece, there was nowhere to go at the bottom. So they do their take and are waiting to be told they can climb back up when the crew comes over with two 5-gallon buckets of ice water and dump it over them! Everybody on the crew was in on the prank and it was carefully planned out cause Jared was wearing a cast at the time so they made sure he had an appointment to get his cast replaced, and Jensen had gotten a new phone so they made sure it wasn't on him. x

J2 Gold Panel Nashcon '23

#j2 tinhat #non iwtv #mine

[oneofstarkskids]

do you like babies?

pairing: carol danvers x fem!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: babies?

*this is random shit i came up with while being sleep deprived so keep that in mind*

summary: carol is cute and i'm gay

Carol had been talking about babies a lot lately.

I mean, it made sense. You two had been together for a good four years now.

But every time you turned around she mentioned something infant related.

You were having dinner at a restaurant and she was looking at the menu, "Ha! Prime Rib. You know what rib rhymes with? Crib."

When you were at the store looking for a new toy for Goose because he ate his other one, Carol was gushing over the tiny feet on the baby onesies.

And when you were on your mile run that she made you do once a week, she stopped next to the park and saw a child being pushed on the swing by their dad. "Awww look how cute that is!"You practically had to drag her away from the scene.

You didn't have time for much else. You could always request to transfer to a desk position, but you would have to talk to Carol first before making such a huge decision.

It's not that you didn't want a child, you just didn't think it could be done. Besides the fact that you were in a lesbian relationship, you were one of S.H.I.E.L.D's top agents.

The two of you were watching a movie on the couch of your shared one-story house.

The home was away from the city, pretty much in the middle of nowhere so there weren't any questioning neighbors when Carol would decide to just take off and fly to another planet.

You were playing with her fingers as you thought about how to bring it up, not really paying attention to the film.

Deciding that there wasn't really any "right way", you grabbed the remote and paused the TV.

Carol, who was being the little spoon for the day, looked back at you. "Why'd you pause it?" She asked in a worried tone. She could tell by your expression that you were nervous.

You played with the hem of her shirt, "Do you like babies?" You grimaced to yourself in your head. Do you like babies? Who fucking says that.

Carol sat up and faced you, her brows furrowed in thought, "What're you trying to say?"

"I mean... Do you think we would make good parents?" You silently cursed your inability to express your thoughts.

Despite your lack of communication, Carol knew exactly what you were trying to say. That's what you loved about her, she always knew, "Are we getting a baby?"

"Well, I've been looking into IVF-" you were interrupted by Carol practically jumping into your arms.

She was overjoyed and couldn't stop her smile from growing by the second. She pulled away in excitement, "Oh my God, we're going to be moms!"

You laughed at her enthusiasm.

"We'll have to turn the guest room into the nursery, but it can be like a fun project! And we'll need to baby proof the whole house," she went on a tangent of everything that needed to happen.

"We should also remember to make the actual baby," you reminded her sarcastically.

She laughed and pulled you in for a deep kiss.

"I love you," she whispered with a smile.

You tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before kissing her nose, "I love you too, Sunshine."

#lgbtq #marvel #carol danvers x reader #carol danvers imagine #marvel drabble #lesbian fluff #captain marvel #captain marvel drabble

[yourbelgianthings]

taz november celebration fic 3: prompt laugh

contrary to what you may think for this prompt, this is sad for like 3/4 of it lol but the end is happy, it’s tres horny boys and about 850 words

Magnus Burnsides's laugh was deep and hearty, but he wasn't used to hearing it by itself; he had always been laughing with Julia. Their life together was perfect, working with their hands and having something to show for it at the end of the day, then coming home to each other. Julia made dinner, Magnus did the dishes, their routine was consistent and comforting. They even thought about having a baby, although they were in no rush. Of course, that never happened, and when Magnus hugged Julia goodbye the day he left town, neither of them knew it would be the last. His friends brought dinners, went for walks, and spent evenings on the porch with Magnus after Julia's death, but he actually chose to bury her alone. The physical act of digging the grave was satisfying in a sick way, it grounded his soul in his body despite its countless attempts to break out through his ribs and fly away. A simple granite slab laid on top, reading: Julia Burnsides, We Love You Forever. His tears darkened the stone in little circles until the sun began to set, and he wouldn't laugh again for some time.

Merle Highchurch always did his best to keep a positive outlook, but it was hard to find reasons to laugh without his kids around. Apparently his sense of humor consisted of a lot of "dad jokes", and those weren't really a big hit with anyone else, especially when he was out trying to preach the word of Pan. He constantly struggled with his choice to leave after he was gone, if it was only the arranged marriage that was the problem, things would have been so much simpler. However, Hecuba and he had Mavis and Mookie, who he loved dearly. That didn't change the fact that he wasn't a very good dad, though, intentions don't count for much in that regard. So, he decided they would be better off without him; if you love something let it go and all that. Cycling through feelings of freedom, guilt, regret, apathy, and more, he wandered the world, presumably to share the word of Pan, but really just wishing to be able to laugh again.

Taako Taaco was very hard to make laugh. He and Lup used to do just that when they were bored, whoever laughed first lost and then they would just be in a fit of giggles for a while anyway. They found things funny between themselves that nobody else understood, but it didn't matter, because it made perfect sense to them. Not that he remembered any of this, of course. The Taako who forgot could be very cynical, and often saw humor from others as an attempt to conceal their true attitudes or motives. On stage for Sizzle It Up With Taako, he laughed and told jokes, but that was about as fake as it got. Hearing the applause and cheers from the audience, seeing the excitement in their eyes, and being complimented as he signed autographs and posed for pictures gave Taako energy and kept him going. He thrived on the attention, but some days, it wasn't enough and there was nothing else. Getting out of bed seemed impossible as his body simultaneously felt heavy and hollow. After Glamor Springs, this set in for several weeks until he suddenly thought: I'm fuckin' Taako from TV, I can go do whatever I want, and if anyone has a problem wit h that, I'll just laugh in their face and keep going.

One night, several months later, in their dorm at the Bureau of Balance, Tres Horny Boys were having a sleepover. Technically, they always did this by virtue of sharing a room, but they had decided to make a night of it, just for fun. Taako cooked the most delicious popcorn the other two had ever had, with the perfect amounts of butter and salt, and he also bought some nail polish from the Fantasy Costco. Magnus realized that Pringles had left some of his stuff in the room, so they had some cool old CDs to listen to, and Merle had found some candles for more ambient lighting. They were all set for the perfect sleepover, and as Taako was painting Magnus's nails shiny silver by candlelight, Merle set down the big bowl of popcorn he had been snacking on and asked, "What did everyone say to the kernel when he finally popped?"

Taako snorted and said,

"Merle, I am not even going to entertain this one," but there was a smile on his face.

Magnus gave in, "I don't know, Merle, what?"

"CORN-GRATULATIONS!"

Magnus immediately burst out laughing, which made Merle join in and Taako shout,

"Mags, you're going to mess up your nails!" although he couldn't help laughing too. It was just so ridiculous and Merle's confidence in the delivery was what really got them. The three of them flopped onto each other, slightly out of breath the way the best fits of laughter leave you, Taako leaning on Magnus's shoulder and Merle leaning on his stomach on the other side. They all smiled, and for the moment, things were okay.

#message from mirph #the adventure zone #taz november celebration #taz balance #taz fanfic #fanfic #merle highchurch #magnus burnsides #taako taaco #mirph’s manuscripts

[sunflower-eddiediaz]

Post Scriptum comment: I don't even know what this is; rambling, thinking at loud about acespec Eddie Diaz. Yesterday was international asexuality day and I went to sleep thinking Does Eddie know about asexuality? Then, put myself to sleep trying to answer that question. So I guess this is a transcript of my half asleep thoughts.

What if Eddie knows about asexuality. He's a 30 something man living in LA. He has a teenage son. He has queer friends. He knows stuff. He's heard a lot of words, a lot he only vaguely understands, but he's heard, he knows. He knows he's not asexual. He was a teenage dad, he had a wife, they had a lot of sex, and he loved it and wanted it. Yeah. The sex was good, great. Not so much when their mariage was falling apart, but that's to be expected in this situation. When they tried to rebuild a relationship together, sex seemed to be the only thing they were good at. Also he's had girlfriends, multiple, since he's wife died. They had sex, too. It was nice. So, definitely not asexual.

But then he meets someone who's asexual. Maybe a patient. Maybe they're stuck together. No immediate danger, but he needs to keep her calm and monitor her cognitive functions, until his team can get to them. So they talk. He asks if she works? hobbies? partner? How did you two meet? They talk and talk and he thinks they probably could have become friends in other circumstances. Eventually, she mentions being asexual; and he's confused. Earlier she talked about painting and mentioned how her partner likes to distract her; and his confusion probably showed on his face. Later, he'll wonder what really prompt her to explain it to him, if she was indulging him or just glad to share more of her life, maybe both, but he's forever grateful she decided to.

She tells him about thinking something was wrong with her for not wanting sex, about thinking she wasn't normal. She tells him about learning what asexuality is, about finding community, understanding and acceptance. She tells him about the joy of finding a partner that understood her, and a partner that felt like her; about the relief that she could love someone and not love sex. And then she tells him about falling in love with her best friend; or more accurately realizing she had fallen, was fallen, will probably keep falling in love with them forever. How she wanted to be close to them, always closer, wanted in a way she never did. How she eventually thought; if I had to have sex with someone, I wouldn't mind doing it with them. And how that neutral acceptance turned into active desires. She tells him that she's still asexual; some people never ever want sex, some are neutral, some very positive about it, some people's answer changes throughout their life. And he has so many questions, questions he'll never get to ask, maybe for the better given how personal most of them are.

They get interrupted by a sound, a sound he knows means his team is close, right before his radio comes to life. So he focuses on doing his job, on helping his team rescue them, on making sure she gets to contact her partner before she goes to the hospital. But that conversation sticks with him. It sticks with him for days, in a way only really bad calls and really good ones can. So he tries to answer some of his questions himself, for himself. He's heard a lot of words, but it's the first time he feels the urge to put it up to the light and examine it for himself.

He thinks about Shannon. They knew each other but they weren't best friends. When they got together it felt like magic, they fell hard and fast, it was amazing until it wasn't. He was never neutral about sex with her, lots of active desires; nothing about their relationship has ever been neutral. He can't say the same about Ana and Marisol. He just followed their lead. He had months long relationships with two beautiful women and for both, he would have been fine if they didn't include sex. He doesn't know what to think about that; about any of that. Does he really need answers, it's not like it's gonna change anything, anyway. So he stops thinking about it, actively that is, but it's still there, in the back of his mind.

aaaaand that's probably when I started to actually fall asleep because the thoughts gets blurry and incoherent

#and is apparently my favorite word #My/His thoughts didn't even make it to his (non) attraction to random people #didn't even make it to taking his current best friend into consideration #eddie diaz #acespec eddie diaz #aspec eddie diaz #thinking thoughts #911 thoughts #911 #911 abc #🌻 #the last part “Does he really need answers...” is definitely not me projecting. nope. #demisexual eddie #queer eddie

[kaylawritess]

sypnosis: When Steve told you he wanted six kids, you thought he was joking. Spoiler! he wasn't.

Dad Steve Harrington.

"Steve do you really want six kids?" You ask, a little worried considering you're 9 months pregnant and about to pop and he's already talking about your second.

"Oh yeah. All girls too. Though a mini Steve doesn't sound too bad." He says, flicking through a magazine with his hand on your thighs that are draped over his lap.

"I'm not promising you six kids. If this one's gives us hell you best believe you're getting the snip." You say pointing at his croch and he winces when he thinks of it.

"I'd obviously never force you but doesn't a van full of kids sound fun? Never a dull moment in the Harrington house." He adds with a happy look on his face.

Little did you know your first daughter was hours away from being born.

21/11/87, The first Harrington daughter, Sylvie Harper Harrington, was born.

"She's so cute." You say, your eyes welling up with tears from holding your daughter for the first time.

"She won't stay this small forever." Steve complains, a sob leaving his mouth and you hear Robin's cackle from the side of the room.

"I'm not saying now but when she starts walking maybe we could have another one?" You cave and Steve looks up smiling.

"Really?" His eyes have such excitement and love filling them, how could you ever say no to him?

Steve was whipped. He knew he loved you but seeing you give birth to his child and raise her had him obsessed with you.

So it wasn't much of a suprise that 6 months after Sylvie's birth you were staring at positive pregnancy test.

16/2/89, the second Harrington girl was born. Her name being Juno Faye Harrington.

Both the Harrington girls gave their parents hell. You and Steve thought you were done with kids.

Steve was upset but he knew he would always love his girls but he never felt like their family was complete.

You weren't trying. But 4 years after Juno was born you were sat in a random diner, on the way to Iowa to visit your parents, which already had you nervous since they hadn't met Juno yet, the two lines on the pregnancy test didn't help to calm your nerves either.

4/11/93, the third Harrington was born. You and Steve hadn't thought of names after your other two girls made you not want more kids so after a very stressful pregnancy and a few days of thinking after she was born, Aven Samantha Harrington was finally named.

Juno and Sylvie were obsessed with their little sister. So was Steve. He missed the getting up at night and seeing you feed his daughters.

He missed seeing you getting excited over the tiny milestones.

It was you who brought up the idea of a 4th child.

Aven was one and a half when you started trying, you knew Steve was fertile but 9 months after you were heavily pregnant and trying to figure out a name.

"Why didn't we just find our the gender?" You ask with a huff, throwing the baby book down on the floor, but quietly not wanting to wake your daughters.

"We both know it's a girl. I'm incapable of having boys, not that I mind. I love my girls." He looks over to you and you have a look on your face.

"Livia! If it's a girl can we pleaseeee call her Livia?" You beg. Even going as far as to clasp your hands together.

"You're acting like I'd say no to you. Of course we can. What if it's a little boy though?" He says, rubbing your belly with a smile.

"Junie said we have to name him Wells." You smile, not hating the name at all.

"Hi Livia or Wells." Steve leans down and kissed your stomach.

4 days later, 22/1/96 Livia Rose Harrington was welcomed to the world.

Now with 4 kids life was more hectic then ever. Sylvie was 8 and wasn't happy sharing a room with Juno anymore. So they were house hunting.

What didn't help was Aven kept pointing at your stomach saying babies were in there.

"Aven, if mommy's pregnant why isn't she big?" You asked your sweet daughter with a sigh, trying to get her to go to sleep.

"Because the boys are only little mommy." She says, pushing her face into your chest while you sigh

That night, 6 months after the birth of Livia, you were sat on the toilet with a positive test in your hand. Just like you were 7 years ago with Juno.

On the 28th of May, 1997, you gave birth to twin boys. You also got your tubes tied that day.

Your boys, Lux Becker and Wells Elliot Harrington were born.

You and Steve agreed no more kids at the appointment when you found out it was twins.

Steve got his van full of kids and you got to feel like your family was complete.

Growing up in the house, there was never a quiet moment. Whether it was Sylvie kicking her younger siblings out of her room and then playing Metallica as loudly as she could (Eddie always gave her Cds)

Or Juno crying about how she can't figure out what to draw next and needs to call her uncle Dustin right at that very moment, didn't matter if it was 2am.

Or even Aven running after Steve with her makeup begging to make him pretty or asking if her she could go to a makeup store.

And Livia, their quietest child would have her nose in a book while her younger brothers ran around throwing baseballs at their dad who always had a smile on his face.

When Sylvie came and told you both that she was expecting at 18, just as you were 18 years ago. Steve broke out in tears.

Excited to be there for a whole new newborn stage and to be a grandpa.

Robin never let him live it down.

"Dude you're a whole grandpa at 37!" She teased and Steve's eyes welled up with tears again.

"My baby is so grown up." He sobbed and you rolled your eyes, moving yourself in front of him.

"Honey, you really have to stop crying when anyone brings it up. You cried in Cosco yesterday." He shoves his head into your shoulder, his body shaking as he cries.

"Mommy! My water broke!" You hear Sylvie say and Steve stands up so fast you stagger back slightly.

Sylvie waddles downstairs with her hospital bag in hand.

"Steve start timing her contractions. Sylvie come sit down we won't be going anywhere until your daddy calms down." You sit your daughter down and rub her back, letting her squeeze your hand through her contractions.

You look up at Robin and she's already nodding, knowing you're asking her to watch the other 5.

"Steve. Honey, snap out of it. Go start the car please."

"I'm gonna be a grandpa!"

...

Cute lil Steve fluff!!

#steve harrington #steve harrington fluff #stranger things #stranger things imagine #steve harrington x you