#i literally ran out of other characters

[averseunhinged]

wip wednesday i made it wooooooo

this is the only even remotely coherent section of the all human actors au that has been making me cry tears of blood. yes, there is still a bracket. no, i didn't even try to figure it out. i am TIRED.

it's mildly raunchy crack. like pg-13, probs? idk.

In the car on the way home, Klaus made an ill-considered midnight call to his sister, given that Rebekah was three hours ahead in New York City, where she’d been shooting a sit-com about struggling models for the past month. She probably would have been less alright with it if Klaus hadn’t spent the whole call whining about how he’d met the girl he was going to marry, but she thought he was a loser. He woke up the next afternoon to cottonmouth, a deeper sense of foreboding than usual, and about fifty text messages, first from Rebekah, and then from the group chat with the rest of his siblings, deservedly ripping the shit out of Klaus.

The third time he met Caroline was at an industry do, this time much less a party than a press event. [SUPER POPULAR FILM FRANCHISE] hadn’t come out yet, but his Times profile had, which was simultaneously the most horrifying portrait and the most accurate. He’d been giving a lot of thought to the person he was versus the person he wanted to be, and it was all weighing on him. So, when he saw Caroline, his first impulse probably shouldn’t have been that this was his chance. If he’d been thinking more clearly, he probably would have realized that he wasn’t in the best headspace.

“Bekah,” he breathed to his sister, because of course Rebekah was there. Rebekah had been witness to every crushing defeat of Klaus’s life. “She’s here.”

And because Rebekah was a bloodhound for Klaus’s humiliation, she immediately picked up what Klaus was putting down. “Who? The girl you’re going to marry? Where?”

Klaus surreptitiously pointed out where Caroline was standing in a cluster with a few other women, but he was already on the move by the time Rebekah was hissing, “Oh, fuck! Wait, Nik. Goddammit.”

And the thing was, Klaus was a bit foolish. He knew this. He wasn’t unintelligent, but outside of his career, he’d never been known for making well-reasoned decisions. He was impulsive, and while he’d shaken off much of the resentment and aimless rage of his late teens and early twenties, his temper still fueled his choices at times. He wanted to change, was actively trying with some measure of success, but it was an ongoing process. He was all the way across the room before he realized Caroline was surrounded by a veritable coven of women he didn’t want to attempt to flirt in front of. One of the Petrova quadruplets—either Amara or Elena, given that he knew Katerina and knew Tatia—Bonnie-fucking-Bennett, who was flawlessly styled and probably still had no idea who he was, and Hayley Marshall, who had spent years watching Klaus try to make removing his shirt while wearing elf ear prosthetics sexy for MTV and getting into on-set fistfights with Kai Parker for being a smug little fuck who couldn’t be bothered to show up for his call times. So, Klaus was stuck without any chance of a classy retreat.

Regardless, he managed to collect a cheek kiss from Hayley, finally introduced himself to Bonnie, did the awkward yes, our siblings are fucking nod with confirmed-to-be-Elena, and greeted Caroline for a socially appropriate amount of time. It broke down when he had to make a conscious effort not to focus the entirety of his attention on her, with middling success, if Rebekah’s almost silent snickering and Hayley’s bemusement were anything to go by. But after a few minutes, he was, if not relaxed, at least doing a reasonable facsimile of charming and was a bit blindsided when Lorenzo St. John seemed to materialize out of nowhere to press a glass of white wine into Caroline’s hand and wrap a proprietary arm around her waist. Klaus had never met him before, though being in separate wings of the same franchise allowed for a very few degrees of separation, but Klaus couldn’t blame the man when he spent the entirety of their introduction and subsequent conversation watching Caroline with a cross between adoration and hunger so intense that Klaus felt uncomfortable witnessing it.

Eventually, Elena was pulled away by a director with more industry pull than was necessarily warranted. Hayley excused herself to hit the bar again, and Klaus knew her well enough to interpret her shrug and half-smile as better luck next time, pal. Finally, he made up a barely sensical excuse about not having mingled enough and dragged Rebekah away, who parted from Caroline with a hug and farewell that spoke of more familiarity than he’d been aware of.

“Well,” Rebekah said, like the unsympathetic twat she was, “I do believe she’s the girl he’s going to marry, too.”

Klaus pointed a finger at Rebekah, as disgruntled as ever that his younger sister had inherited both their mother’s sweet, lovely face and her innate, bloody-minded sadism. Klaus might have been taller and bulkier, but the extra mercilessness made the difference for Rebekah whenever they’d brawled over snacks, or the remote, or one of her useless, cockwomble boyfriends.

“You knew!” he hissed. “You knew I was going to make a fool out of myself!”

“Hey, there’s no stopping you when you’re on a mission to embarrass yourself. It’s one of your more endearing qualities. And you never said who she was.” Rebekah shrugged. “She’s on my show. Just started filming last month. I don’t know her very well, but I knew she had a boyfriend doing some off-Broadway, avant-garde bullshit with those Augustine lunatics.”

Klaus sighed and slumped a little bit. Rebekah patted him on the shoulder in their family’s typical manner of reluctant, suspicious affection and wandered off to find Stefan, who tended to spend these things hiding behind a pillar, or a large plant, or on one memorable occasion, a standee of himself, and drinking with the quiet desperation of an introvert who might have to talk to people he didn’t know.

The last Klaus saw of Caroline, Enzo was nuzzled into her temple, saying something for only her to hear. Her head was thrown back, laughing, and she looked like everything Klaus had ever wanted.

(But was terrified he’d never find.)

Life went on. Klaus’s world changed dramatically when [SUPER POPULAR FRANCHISE MOVIE] was a hit on an unexpected scale. The box office returns were obscene, and because Klaus got in on the ground floor and his agent was great at her job, he suddenly had more money, and far more fame, than he knew what to do with. But with that came the freedom to do the projects he really wanted to do. Really cared about. So, he was busy. And he was still trying to be better, be the person he wanted to be, not the person it was easy to be.

But he also had too many first dates and hardly any second ones, before he and Aurora decided to get back together for the fourth time. Predictably, it blew up in a final, spectacular way when Klaus had to spend an obscene amount of time in transit, traveling from his shooting location in Hungary to hers in Vancouver and back, just to find out she was fucking around on him again. The thing about Aurora was that she never overtly cheated, because there was always a nebulousness about where he fit into her life that manifested in her casually dating other men without calling it dating. It had been the perfect arrangement for him when he was twenty-three and more cheekbones than brains, but that wasn’t who Klaus wanted to be anymore.

He tried to take a step back after that, but the next time he was in L.A., he slept with a stylist he’d worked with a few times before. Then, he went back to London for his thirtieth birthday, got ratarsed on celebratory Nebbiolo with his best mate from RADA, and had an accidental threesome with Lucien and his fiancé. This resulted in a hungover call to Freya the next morning that was an unflattering shade of gay panic to his only queer sibling—aside from Henrik, who didn’t deserve to be subjected to Klaus’s post-coital regrets—over being a newly thirty-year-old celebrity who tried butt stuff for the first time and didn’t hate it. Freya was a good enough sister that she didn’t hold it against Klaus, but also enough his sibling that she nearly choked to death on her tea, laughing, and crisply informed him that even primarily straight men had prostates.

So, it’s not like he was pining. He wasn’t. But there was a certain level of wistfulness on the rare occasion when he did think of Caroline, which he tried not to do very often, given that he was certain the next time he heard anything about her, it would be because she was engaged to an increasingly renowned British actor with what Klaus could only hope would someday be a hairline that receded more than his own.

(Except it wasn't.)

#oh oops #this is way longer than i thought it was #let me just say: #it's mostly based on klaus's big doofy younger brother energy in the human flashbacks #it gets marginally more serious later #some stuff about klaus's temper and promiscuity and dubious parentage and resentment that elijah's career always overshadowed his own #i mean if the rest of this ever happens #i don't know #it already nearly killed me ded #klaroline wip wed #it had to be enzo btw #i literally ran out of other characters #except alaric #and: no #i repeat: #no

[ashrifts]

king of being completely useless and irrelevant to the plot but still being featured in official art!!

#he and rindou are literally just there to stand on the side doing nothing and get humbled and we love that for them <3 #i like to think wakui didnt expect the haitanis to become so popular so hes just drawing them out of obligation now jk #* ›› / * ooc. #also other characters got drawn together but not ran and rindou???? a crime

[six-of-ravens]

think I've figured out what bugs me so much about Natasha Pulley's work - every female character who could potentially interfere with the ~gay couple~ is portrayed in a negative light

#there's something else about it that bugs me too. like. something about her depiction of history... #i started the kingdoms and im trying to puzzle out why it's not really working for me #also i swear this author KEEPS GIVING HER GAY CHARACTERS WIVES for NO REASON #she literally just wants to portray the wives as bitches #but like. WHY ADD THEM?? WHY MAKE ALICE JOE'S WIFE??? #she did that and then immediately went 'well alice is a rapist and a bad mother then!!' like girl. you could have just made them like #co-inhabitants of this house. and not married. and Lily could be related to Joe in some other way if you NEED a kid... #idk. im still bitter about pepperharrow lol where the eofe finally started being treated like a human and not a fucking chess piece #and then killed herself for her husband basically. SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO DIE. THERE WERE A TON OF SOLUTIONS!! #but no. we can't have sweet baby Mori having a wife after he ran away to England to live with his gay lover nooooooo #WHY EVEN MAKE HIM MARRIED JUST SO YOU CAN KILL HIS WIFE OFF. SHE COULD'VE BEEN HIS HOUSEKEEPER OR SMTH #this has gotten away from me. I just don't like it tho. #if there were any female characters that were portrayed positively though and not treated like a Threat to the Gay I'd feel better #but there aren't so far #unless you count the absentee Madeline #the only female character treated well so far is Joe's daughter Lily and she's two

[asteria-argo]

i can feel myself getting preemptively annoyed with some of the comments I might get on the next chapter of to all the better places and let me tell you it's making it really hard to write this chapter in peace

#i just know I'm going to get so so many people hating on Ted again #and I appreciate the comments I really do #but the total lack of nuance astounds me #I think people forget just how much of a dickhead Jamie actually was in season one #and also that Ted thinking slightly ill thoughts about Jamie when he remembers him as being a very hostile and combative person #doesn't make him a bad guy #because fun amazing fact about to all the better places #is that Ted and Jamie haven't actually had a SINGLE conversation yet #because when Ted tried to have a civil conversation with Jamie in chapter three Jamie ran away #they are currently still dancing around each other #and I love that people are invested in the story and care about Jamie #but getting comments that are literally just character hate towards a character that isn't actually supposed to be hated? #not that fun #makes me feel like I'm trying to write around a bunch of landmines to avoid getting comments that are pure character bashing #you can be mad at Ted in this fic he's being frustrating and I'm writing him like that on purpose #but he's not the villain #he's barely even an antagonist #he's just bias and not sure what he's doing because he's in a confusing ass situation. he's trying his best under the circumstances #because he is as much of a fully fleshed out character as Jamie is

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

reading dungeon meshi

#random thoughts #it has the kind of plot i hate where you retread the same plot point repeatedly while making progress elsewhere #like hi falin bye falin #like i cared about them finding falin. then they found her. and now she's gone again. #i don't like marcille but in like. a compelling way. she's my favorite archetype of character who is specifically female for some reason? #lady who thinks her way is the right way and she's morally right and therefore everyone else is wrong #high conscientiousness with low openness to experience. see themselves as agreeable dutiful and restrained while not being any of that #they tend to take on moralistic causes but they usually don't have a defined reason for WHY they're doing it so it just comes off as preachy #and the narrative tends to take their side with no basis in why #like when marcille tried to prove herself with the mandrakes and put everyone in danger and senshi conceded he was ALSO in the wrong??? #and even marcille was like 'that wasn't my point at all' #that entire chapter made me mad it was so good #it's also doing that thing i hate when a piece of media introduces too many characters at once #like who's who what's what who is important who should i remember #i love the detail put into the cooking sessions!!! #i love how all the characters are so fucked up and not even in plot-important ways #like chilchuck's cowardice is very important to the plot but senshi was straight-up willing to let a man die for his flavorful cooking lmao #laios is. my man. i need him carnally. #i get that the whole 'got eaten by dragon' thing was not meant to be the Whole Plot but i feel like the background plot is just not my thing #either that or it wasn't set up in a compelling enough way? #idk. im still reading #all in all i think dungeon meshi might just not be my thing? plot-wise i mean. i love the characters and the general premise #of monster biology and environmentalism and cooking and augh #i don't like how everytime senshi corrects marcille on something so far he ends up going 'i guess i also need to learn a thing or two' #like on the mandrakes? the man has FIELD EXPERIENCE he was entirely in the right to prefer his method!!! #and on the environment thing? first of all marcille's whole thing is building artificial dungeons she SHOULD care about the food chain #SECOND OF ALL telling marcille she shouldn't kill so many fishmen isn't playing GOD or whatever #that kraken was a fucking. extenuating circumstance. it was literally there just to make marcille's argument credible #animals killing each other through the food chain is different from marcille using what is essentially a rocket launcher #god i ran out of tags. peace and luv bruvs 🤟 kind of have a hate crush on marcille now. need her

[metricbutterfly]

Making a new au

#undertale #toriel #frisk #muffet #mhmnmnnmtale #mhmnmnnm frisk #mhmnmnnm toriel #mhmnmnnm muffet #mhmnmnnm is a creature is a creature I made which is literally the other mother from coraline #mhmnmnnm sews buttons into monsters eyes so even if the barrier was broken they’d still be trapped down there #mhmnmnnm also sews buttons into the eyes of whoever falls down there #mhmnmnnm is some sort of bug and deer combination? #mhmnmnnm took Toriel’s eyes but she escaped to the ruins (even though she became bind afterwards) before they 🪡 #srry I ran out of room on that last one #Papyrus and sans are probably dead in this au idk I haven’t decided yet #I’m gonna be quite pissed of is this gets like 3 like lmfao #Muffet is just standing there like a doofus #mhmnmnnm never got to sew buttons into Toriel’s eyes #At some point i’m gonna draw what mhmnmnnm looks like #also in that same drawing i’m gonna draw some other characters i made #my art

[teddytoroa]

i can't find it but ages ago (like several days) i saw a post that was about how fanfic turned into romance novels is like the tiktok of books bc they dont have any breathing space and just jump between the main plot points and it makes the book unsatisfying and im like yeah actually thats absolutely true. And imo it feels in line with the antiintellectualualism problem we have where people just wanna be spoonfed the "interesting" bits.

But also the flip side of that is when theres entire books of like,,character interaction that doesnt go anywhere and its marketed as slice of life or light romance or whatever and yall know me i LOVE some chill slow paced low stakes character exploration but even slice of life stuff needs like actual plot to hold it together or it just feels a bit like mush. some of my most favourite stories are slice of life with characters who dont do very much at all but theres enough actual development of relationships and an underlying thread of a plot (not always a conflict even) to tie it all together so its not just a loose collection of characters in a bag rattling around like marbles and going nowhere. does any of this make sense

#often i think of the novel i read a few years ago that had characters i liked and seemed to be building up to something really big and cool #but then it just kind of couldnt support its own hype and the second half of the book was just. flat. it was just nothing #it felt like the author sort of..ran out of ideas? or was just freestyling without any overarching plot or goal for the end? #it was very bizarre. a good slice of life should feel like just that- ur briefly dipped into a fully fleshed out world #but this was like. ok this is gonna sound mean but you know when youre playing dolls with a toddler #amd they're just making up big plot points as they go along because theyre literally 3 years old #like 'ok the barbies are married now. ok and now this one dies and the other one is sad. ok now they have a new car. ok heres a dinosaur.' #it felt like that. no substance no real plot no character development no goal no endgame no worldbuilding no meat on the bones #ANYWAY its just as well i couldnt find the post bc i wouldnt want to clog the tags with this #god that book bothered me. never read anything else by that author bc i just. like it wasnt good. #it was like ordering takeout from a new place that looks promising but it arrives cold soggy meanly portioned and missing half the order

[ziracona]

I’ll probably never finish that series but ily Connor you were a real one

#by S5 he’s like the moral backbone of the show even past Oliver it’s fucking insane bc he’s a little bitch (affectionate) when it starts #characters trading ethics in passing. Connor and Asher improving while Wes and Laurel get worse. Michaela is just good out here in her own #corner. we all wanted Bonnie dead for a season but then we forgot bc other stuff happened and everyone kind of just??? forgot? us included? #We just forgave Frank for s1 because everyone else went so fucking ape shit eventually it just wasn’t worse than anything anyone /ELSE/ was #was doing. Annalise is a character of all time. Oliver goes through the weirdest arc for S5. they killed their maybe worst choice for major #character off halfway through rip ✊ — there was that time Wes shot Annalise and everyone ran off and Connor came back and risked everything #keep pressure on her gunshot and she lived because of him even though she’s super mean to Connor and she literally never thanked him rip #Connor I saw; I remembered. Asher gets to do maybe the funniest hit in the whole show like bitch if you said that to a white trust fund boy #alone in a parking garage in a running car literally what did you /think/ was gonna happen?? #Asher goes from someone you want to kill to one of the most likable charcaters in the series??? it’s really. a show #loved the first four ish seasons #how to get away with murder

[yotd2009]

insane 2 me that eiyuu senki has a translation b4 fate/stay night does

#it's literally EXACTLY what most ppl think fsn is.... #plot-light eroge with a 'historical figures (+ knights of the round table) but they're cute anime girls' gimmick #tbf though i've said it b4 and i'll say it again. i am the exact target audience for what ppl Think fsn is from the outside #and one of these days (read: after i get a pc and play through a million other (better) games i have on my list) i'll def play it #if only to analyze it as an arthurian adaptation bc going through conceptually inch resting arthurian adaptations is my hobby #(and when i say that i mean there is a Reason the term 'girlboss arthuriana' was coined (i should know. i coined it.) and the genre is #Oversaturated. i don't want to read another young/new adult novel about an arthurian woman by some1 who Clearly was seized w the need 2 be #mzb 2..... the sequel!. heard the most baseline description of this random lady. and ran w it! #i already know every single plot beat and every single cliche and major arthurian misunderstanding they'll run straight into #and it'd be redundant to point them out or analyze how or why they made certain decisions so i. don't read them anymore! #i refuse to touch anything girlboss arthuriana or openly derived from th white/game of thrones. i will have a much more enjoyable time #trying to figure out how arthurian gacha number 42069 or self published novel abt a minor character you'd have to read med lit #(or at least more than 1 wiki page) to even know or obscure 70s narrative song than touch a single nyt bestseller wannabe) #(*when i say arthurian gacha i don't just mean fgo it's just the most famous example. king arthur is a v popular gacha character and #i've yet to figure out why) #also eiyuu senki has palomydes AND didn't whitewash her so like. !!!!! . i am predisposed to like it more than other adaptations #(<<< has a fave knight of the round table (and it's by a Lot)) #+ i'm generally weak 2 knight girls. you should know this abt me already. and percival has a nice 1/4 scale figure so like .... #let's just say i Really want to like it #romeo.txt

[emeraldcreeper]

The bad thing about the emotional support old men I’m using like dolls in a dollhouse making them kiss (by saying now kiss and pushing their faces together) is that I do have to either find ways to not say that one old man finds the other “hot” or just give up and go I cannot keep saying attractive I need something a step more vulgar and sexy is too far, god damn it he’s gonna say he looks hot I hate this but it sure sounds in character even if it hurts me he would in fact say that

#I’m writing old men being nice to each other for once #to cope #I’m freshly unemployed from my shitty retail job due to a move and my health worsening #I must move north for the airs #actually my dr and family is there so I gotta move ass to Arkansas #I’ve had a migraine due 3 months perhaps migraines for three months literally keeping me from working #ergo I write the soft nice men #is it lil kink adjacent yeah but that’s how it is #I can’t be normal about that old Man i gotta be weird #I’m a lesbian I can’t be normal vis a vis me #men* I’m not rewriting that #I’ve been stuck in the dark in bed since god like Wednesday #alternately sleeping crying or writing #honestly in that order #listening to a new actual play podcast that’s new to me only! #I ran out of my one remaining actual play/ran out of podcasts to listen to #so I looked up gay actual plays and found nad.d.pod I hope that filters out #if anything happens to the mushroom crick Druid and her pet possum pawpaw I’ll kill everyone #so far I’m on like episode 4 and like the characters and premise

[hakugreenfinch]

when they said a masters thesis is more difficult than a ba thesis i didnt think they meant "nobody cares about your masters thesis"

#hakuna matata #i think im a bit more affected by my consultant not even reading it before meetups than i thought #last time my consultant was literally doing diplomacy in japan and she could read what i was sending her and give me feedback #my current consultalt not knowing about jojo isnt an excuse i had to explain trans women to this previous one and she could help #i dont want to slander this man. the rest of my class does that enough. #its just a bit frustrating putting out 10ks of characters not even knowing if what im doing is any good #not expecting my classmates to care tbh. whenever i had to discuss my topic with them it felt like it was a joke for them #its just. idk? anyone? does anyone care that im doing it and if im doing it right? #other than my beloved friends whose support i honestly appreciate <3 #it just feels like im assured that pop culture analysis is worth the work in an academic environment #but nobody in the actual academic environment seems to really care what im doing #ah that and the lady that ran the thesis writing class last year giving me a 3 :)) #i thought i gave a good presentation and she showed no signs that she disliked anything about it. #the paper i sent her i think i did pretty well on too. especially for a paper i sent after 3 days of being very sick #i sent it late but i told her i was going to be late because i had a terrible weekend #so she knew i was sick! and she was very 'prioritize your health' in class! #idk what happened there... so my work is praised in class but then its only worth a 3...?

[giantkillerjack]

Me seeing art for a show I both hate and thoroughly love to roast: Someone worked really hard on this as an act of love, and I will not reblog their work just to trash the show in their tags. The artist can see the tags. I will not do it. I won't. They're not hurting anyone. I am not going to-- I'm not. I'm not, I'm not going to do it, I am genuinely not going to I'm not--not even if I want to because GODS I want to but I won't I'll just make a separate post about it or something, it's not like everything I love is so perfect anyway, and I sure wouldn't appreciate it, goodness knows so I'm not going to do it EVEN THOUGH MERLIN IS

A STUPID SHOW AND THE PEOPLE WHO MADE IT

SHOULD FEEL BAD!!!!

(The people who like it don't have to feel bad. Both because it is genuinely a moral neutral, and also, well, they've already sat through all of BBC Merlin - they've suffered enough!)

#original #merlin #bbc merlin #listen listen listen i have a destiel sideblog i get it #being in the fandom doesn't mean you think the canon is well written! and if you DO think Merlin or Supernatural are well-written... #you are entitled to that opinion and there's nothing morally wrong with having an incorrect opinion! #XD i am hilarious #merlin as a show just makes me really mad as a person who desperately wanted so much from it when i watched it and instead it was.... #well to be frank it is a wildly homophobic show but also it is 6 seasons of blue balls just in terms of satisfying writing #it has so much of what i love in a show and yet it always felt so... flat. and the fact that merlin keeps his magic secret past season 1 #was fucking WILD #it's not like Lucifer where they are locked into the very limiting formula of a cop show #it was A BIG FUCK-OFF FANTASY WORLD WITH A SHITLOAD OF EXISTING MYTHOLOGY #it is Unthinkable to me that they ran out of ideas that quickly!!! #the show centers around two main characters who literally never connect with each other as a result!!!! for six seasons!!! #I mean to be fair Lucifer absolutely only had one idea also and as soon as Chloe finds out he's the devil in like season 4 or whatever #the show immediately reveals that it had ABSOLUTELY no pay-off to that slowburn WHATSOEVER #oh do we get to see the scene where she finds out? just the first five seconds of it before the show introduces a random third character #who is somehow convincing Chloe to lie to Luci so that we can pad the runtime instead of writing an evolution of their relationship #because that would be HARD and what is EASY is IGNORING the only interesting path forward #like YES Merlin did say 'gay people should have defended hitler with their lives' bc again. WILDLY homophobic show #but character-wise it is also like if Aang stayed in the South Pole airbending and being chased by Zuko for 6 seasons #and then he fucking died at the end for no reason. #does he ever learn the other elements? well it's talked about a lot. every episode in fact. but no not until the end of the last episode #right before he dies and then it shows that katara has grown old alone. #anyway i get mad when i see merlin fan art and it isn't fair to the queer artists or fans who make it so i do just make a separate post #and also the Merlin episode of the podcast 'Bait' is SO funny. it is a podcast about queerbaiting. #i hate queerbaiting at this point but it is a good podcast and so funny!!

[musclesandhammering]

“Misha’s bi gaff shouldn’t effect Cas’s sexuality.”

I agree, but if your main argument for why Cas is gay is that “the actor who plays him confirmed it!!” you really need to take into account the fact that said actor has made a clown of himself in regards to lgbt stuff in the past.

#literally no other person involved with the show has stated that castiel is a Gay Man #aside from Misha #some have implied that he’s in love with Dean #which ok fair! that’s fine! he’s def queer so he can 100% be in love with a man! #but the fact that Misha clearly wasn’t playing him as gay all those years #he talked about how cas was in love with Meg and them having sex etc CONSTANTLY #he just read the script for the ily scene and all of a sudden was like ‘Omg! He’s gay! Ooh I bet my fans will love this!’ and ran w it #and he’s just been Straight Boy Pandering ever since #like I hate to tell y’all ~aLLieS~ this but #reposting a fanart of Cas with rainbow wings and saying oh btw he’s gay at conventions is not actual allyship #it’s performative and shallow and silly #and he’s the only one with the show that does it. in fact Jensen etc act annoyed at people constantly saying characters are gay #the writers themselves even intentionally made the confession scene vague enough that they could claim plausible deniability and say #it was meant as platonic if they ever need to. so like… they’re not even committed to Cas being queer AT ALL let alone 100% gay lol #which is problematic in itself but that’s for a different post #not a single person in canon or irl has labelled cas as A Gay Male Only Attracted To Other Males #except Misha 😒 #and considering he’s known to throw around queer declarations willy nilly to get a rise out of ppl even when they’re not true #and then not rly get why irl queer people took it so seriously #idk if he should be the almighty arbiter for a character’s queerness #that’s all I’m saying #anyway Castiel is panromantic and somewhere on the ace spectrum spread the word 😌 #tired of gay men dominating everything and erasing other queer identities as if they’re not queer enough #and even more tired of straight women ‘allies’ online doing the same thing just to solidify their stupid ships #and even MORE tired of straight actors pandering to those people cause they know it’ll make them bigger fans and they’ll get Woke Points #ugh #spn critical #anti misha collins #anti destiel #anti destihellers

[th3swarm]

im so brave putting sourceposting as my tag for $cp stuff . fictive things or whatever (????accidental system related stuff in tags oops)

#jk i actually havent thought about $cp in like a year lol #cuz like...... im a fictive of someone who can shapeshift..... so i can still do it in headspace...... #....so i dont even look like her anymore .....and i dont think about my source ever...... am i actually still from it like #i am Far More Distrssed over other media . like Technically yeah im from $cp but like not really anymore . #but Also i havent differentiated into my own person im basically just a different character now . oops #outing myself a #keters stuff #delete later #???????incoherent rant in here 2day guys #i dont expect non-systems to understand literally any of that this post has a target audience of like 4 of my mutuals who will know what i- #-m talking about . ran out of characters

[wtfforged]

my campaign hiatus has gone on for too long so to cope ive combined my interests at their maximum potency and had some dnd-strawhats thoughts

thoughts in depth under read more... :)!

this is SO self indulgent. their designs literally did not change. but i am a firm believer that dnd doesnt have to be european high fantasy. and also one piece literally IS fantasy. no changes are necessary to fit into dnd. ive already imagined plenty of campaign/oneshot ideas inspired by one piece. so this was basically just an exercise of trying to replicate their canon abilities in dnd 5e as much as possible without totally homebrewing everything. well. aside from luffy. you just cant take away or change his stretching.

LUFFY: (human monk. drunken master subclass. outlander)

the only plain human of the crew to balance out with the fact that he still has rubber powers. obviously a monk. but drunken master subclass specifically because i think the flavor(not the fact that its about being a drunkard) and abilities both fit him really well. this line in the subclass' flavortext especially fits him: "A drunken master often enjoys playing the fool to bring gladness to the despondent or to demonstrate humility to the arrogant, but when battle is joined, the drunken master can be a maddening, masterful foe."

ZORO: (tiefling fighter. samurai subclass. bounty hunter)

a fighter with the samurai subclass is so very incredibly obvious... but i actually had a lot of fun geeking out while comparing the abilities to what he can do in canon; Fighting Spirit, Rapid Strike, and Strength Before Death especially! tiefling is also pretty on the nose for his demon pirate hunter shtick and asura form, but i thought he'd be really human-passing for a tiefling and theorized about his tail getting cut off at some point or another before joining the strawhats. initially wasnt gonna give him a feat, but i gave sanji a feat so i thought itd be unfair to not give him one as well, so sentinel fits the bill pretty well i think!

NAMI: (tabaxi rogue. arcane trickster subclass. criminal)

cat burglar -> full grown literal humanoid cat. this one is INCREDIBLY self indulgent... i love... cats... theres nothing deeper to this and no other reasoning. i took cat burglar and ran with it. can you tell that i love izutsumi dungeon meshi? rogue for the aforementioned burglar-ing as well, and the arcane trickster subclass for when she picks up climatact! the mage hand will be very useful for her pickpocketing. in the future as she levels up with timeskip, i can totally see her multiclassing into wizard as well! weather wizard!

USOPP: (lightfoot halfling artificer. artillerist subclass. urchin)

I HAD SO MUCH FUN THINKING ABOUT HIS CHARACTER SHEET. halfling's Naturally Stealthy ability lets him hide behind his crewmates since theyre (almost) all bigger than him, so its perfect for hiding behind zoro or sanji all the time. Lucky is also perfect for him, and I think Brave fits pretty well too when he puts on the sogeking mask. artillerist artificer is also very fun! tinkering and making magic items for his crew, and i think Eldritch Canon or Arcane Firearm could both be easily reflavored as kabuto or any of his inventions. for emphasizing his sniper-ness, the spell sniper feat was also necessary. i think hes my favorite of all the concepts. big ears and long nose combo is so cute to me.

SANJI: (half-elf monk. drunken master subclass. guild artisan (cook!))

race was mostly based on vibes i wont lie. squints. and that vinsmoke balogna or whatever too ig. but mostly vibes. along with the idea that i think a dwarf zeff raising him would be really funny and cute. monk is also obvious, and same subclass as luffy for mostly the same reasons. though the flavor fits him much less, i think the abilities still fit him perfectly, and this blurb specifically; "Your martial arts technique mixes combat training with the precision of a dancer." i really wanted to give him a different subclass from luffy, but i dislike all the other monk subclasses a lot and i found none of them fit him as well anyways, so to try and give them SOME differences, i gave him the crusher feat.

CHOPPER: (awakened deer(shifter statblock) cleric. life subclass. hermit)

this ones definitely a mouthful im sorry. awakened deer for obvious reasons, but due to magic instead of devil fruit stuff. when i was struggling with his race, i looked a lot at shifter because of his forms, but it occurred to me that itd be super cool if he could shift between all of the different shifter options instead of being stuck with just one to replicate his rumble balls. something like heavy point/guard point=beasthide, horn point/arm point(?maybe?)=longtooth, walk point/jumping point=swiftstride, and brain point=wildhunt. hed definitely need some kind of nerf though to balance out that homebrew... and cleric for class. duh.

ROBIN: (high elf wizard. order of scribes subclass. criminal)

robin is definitely the one i struggled the most with just because of her class. elf came pretty easily- shes very elegant and i think shed look cute with super long ears- and i landed on high elf instead of wood elf for the int-based abilities. i was really on the fence between sorcerer and wizard for her because i knew shed be a full spellcaster, but i didnt feel that any of the subclasses really fit her. i ended up going with wizard for order of the scribes since it focuses on texts and knowing everything. but also because robin with a flying talking sentient book would be crazy cool. it could also be similar to how she spawns mouths and eyes places to talk to or watch people. my "fuck it, why not. this would be rad. its my house" mindset kicked in with her i will admit. also the One with the Word ability made me cackle out loud when i read it. thats the funniest ability ever. anyways, i cant really think of a way to replicate her powers, but maybe we could just reflavor a bunch of spells to be her limbs or clutch; hold person, maximillian's earthen grasp, or evard's black tentacles. thatd probably work okay, and theres a handful of spells to replicate her ability to spawn eyes or mouths. unrelated, but i imagine nico olvia to be a drow. why? her hair is white. i am a simple man!

#had a full on fixation explosion with this one Dont even look at me im posting this at 4am for a reason. #I HAD FUN THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. I MISS DND SO BAD. CAMPAIGN HIATUS OVER SOON. I MUST LIVE #not really like an au or redesign or whatever but i wanted to draw a lineup anyways to show just. very miniscule differences #i guess. mostly an excuse just to draw a lineup of the strawhats. i fucknig guess #will probably do a part 2 cause i have more thoughts; franky+brook+ace+vivi are on the menu boys #its bothering me so much that usopp and nami are both orange in the read more. but there is no yellow text-fill on tumblr. sad #also just fist fought this post in the drafts for an hour bc i dont understand the character limit #so if i fucked this up im moving to the mountains #wtf... art #one piece fanart #dnd #dnd 5e #mugiwara crew #straw hat pirates #monkey d luffy #luffy #roronoa zoro #zoro #cat burglar nami #nami #usopp #black leg sanji #sanji #tony tony chopper #nico robin

[nymphomatique]

wanna sit on nerd miguel’s face while i use my phone to snap other guys that’s my little chair fr😔😻

this just changed the trajectory of my life in a way you cannot understand.

cw: slight d/s dynamics, sending nudes, munch miguel makes an appearance once more, bro literally FEASTS, new character yippee (v minor), brief choking (more like a neck squeeze tbh), praise, squirting LOL, miguel gets kicked out again 😔 reader catching feelings?? we may never know. semi proofread today i felt nice. this is a longer one than usual, so enjoy!

“stop fuckin’ squirming down there and eat me out properly,” you say, looking down at miguel. his eyes are hazy and hooded, his glasses somewhere on the bed, his brown eyes clear as day. you grip his head by his hair and position him to where his nose brushes above your clit, and you moan at the feeling. “l-like that, okay miguel? be good for mommy.”

miguel takes heed of your instructions and begins to lick, suck, and thrust up into your wetness, making it hard for you to maintain something relative to your composure. in the throes of miguel’s mouth work, your phone screen, next to miguel’s head, lights up with a snapchat notification from none other than the star quarterback of your school, peter parker. you bite the corner of your lip, mouth pulling up in a smile at an idea. you grab your phone and open it to snapchat, seeing peters name at the top of your snap list. you open his snap and it’s a picture of him shirtless, abs on display, his happy trail just peeking over the band of his pants. his snap is captioned with text reading ‘wyd?’

you prop your camera up, angling it enough that miguel’s face and your pussy are out of frame. miguel stops for a moment to ask what you’re doing, but before he can get a word in you speak up, “if you stop, this will be the last time i ever let you touch me. got it? keep fucking going.” and wordless, miguel does as he’s told, going back to eating you but with a new energy this time. it catches you off guard a bit, and you let out a light f-fuck in response, but you don’t let it derail you from answering peter back.

peter. you and him have had.. complicated history to say the least. since high school, the two of you ran in the same social circles, with him being on your high school football team and you, a cheerleader. a true status quo. the two of you had ended up attending the same underaged parties, hooking up and even going steady for some time, until the blonde busty thing known as gwen stacy walked into your high school in sophomore year and made her claim on your then boyfriend. you figured it out after you walked in on them under the bleachers post-game, the spot where you habitually got on your knees to congratulate peter for his win. you stayed with him after a profuse apology and intense “i’m sorry” fuck session, to your dismay, but broke up with him in the beginning of your senior year. now, you two fuck from time to time, scratching an itch when you have it.

you look back at the tease of a photo on your phone, your tits spilling out your plunge neck crop top and your abdomen cutting off right above your pubic area, your pink thong still visible coming up the sides of your hips. you feel miguel plunge his tongue into you, causing you to fall forward, steadying yourself with one hand, phone in the other. “keep this up and i’m gonna squirt on you, but i bet you’re into that huh?” you laugh out a little, miguel moaning into you in response. you try not to get distracted and caption your snap to peter ‘nothing really’ and press send.

immediately, you see that he opens it and he replies just as fast, this time the photo of him in grey sweats with a visible tent, layer out on his bed. the caption attached, ‘wanna turn your nothing to a something? ;)’ and you roll your eyes. you move to answer him with another midriff picture, but you change your mind. “hey, look at me dweeb,” you say, turning the camera so that it’s capturing the angle of miguel’s mouth on your pussy, covered in spit and your juices. he looks up and sees the camera of your phone pointed down towards him and he goes red in the face and tight lipped. “remember what i told you about stopping,” you remind him, and he maintains eye contact with the camera as he goes back to lick a strip up your pussy, from your leaking hole to your clit. you move your unoccupied hand to his face, palm to his cheek as you slowly caress him with your thumb. “that’s a good boy.”

you move your hand from his cheek, trailing softly down to his strong neck and you wrap your hand around his neck and squeeze. at the pressure he lets out a groan, his hands moving to grip your thighs tighter to his face. “fuck miguel, you’re making mommy so happy right now- ah! fuck, just like that. keep doing that, o-okay?” you moan out. he says nothing, his eyes, still maintaining contact with the camera, clouded with lust, answering for him.

you snap a picture, turned on at the lewdness of it. it’s your pussy on miguel’s face, pink panties pushed to the side as his mouth is sucking on your clit, his hands gripping the fat of your thighs, and your hand around his neck at the same time. you make quick work to save the photo and caption it ‘busy, sorry’, feeling your orgasm approach. you press send and drop your phone, ignoring the back to back buzzing, probably of peters reply to your salacious snap.

a steady heat begins to boil in the pit of your stomach, and you keen forwards, your hand leaving miguel’s neck to grip the white sheets on your bed. “i’m gonna cum, i’m gonna cum, i’m gonna-“ and with that, you feel the pleasure within you tighten then burst, like a damn breaking way, and you begin to tremble as miguel continues his work down on you. the overstimulation begins to hit you, and you feel a spurt of liquid leave your body and miguel groan and suck. “oh my god,” you heave out, “st-stop, no more.”

miguel places a final kiss to your mound as he moves to lift your limp hips for you. he feels sheepish how, his sweater and mouth drenched with your liquids. he wipes his lips and makes way to speak to your still firm on the bed. “are- are you okay?”

you say nothing, grab the nearest pillow you have, and throw it at him. miguel dodges and understands that means get the fuck out.

after collecting yourself, your body still spent and sheets still wet, you roll over on your back and grab your phone to look at what peter replied to you. you open his snap, and laugh a little at his responses.

peter 🚮

| is that fucking o’hara..?

| you’re fucking with me???

| fucking whore

| you sleep with nerds now??

you make way to reply to peter one more time, opening the camera and taking a picture of the wet bedsheets, caption it ‘nerds that can make me cum? yeah’ and unadd him after.

you finally haul yourself up to change your sheets when you see miguel’s glasses on your bed. you grab them and put them on your nightstand, feeling heat rush through your blood to your face, thinking of him and the mess he made of you.

fucking dweeb.

#the ask had me sweatin #u guys need to start writing instead of me 😭 #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara drabble #miguel atsv smut #miguel o’hara smut #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara x you #miguel atsv #sub miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara x fem!reader #you’ve got mail💌 #<nerd!miguel3