#i read shit people say and it fills me with

[catscidr]

// taking care of your dogboy (hsr edition!) //

i. note — sry i havent been posting yall i got a job + ive been working on three cosplays at the same time bc my local con is coming up lmao (´ཀ`」 ∠) however the brainrot never stops. it only takes a break. a little break of approximatively. a month. ish. ......... anyways dog hybrid hsr boys brainrot !!! lmk if we want more of this with more boys •ᴗ• hehe ii. includes — blade, gepard, boothill and gn!reader iii. cw — slice of life stuff turning into smut, possessive behaviour, overstim, slight dom/sub dynamics, real messy stuff, manhandling. use of the word "hole" to keep reader gender neutral iv. wc — 1,9k

blade is a mutt riddled in scars and dirty bandages from living on the streets and fighting to survive.

you think he might be some german shepherd mix, but he refuses to let you swab his teeth n gums for a dna test (last time you tried you narrowly avoided a punch to the face. he apologized in his own way afterwards), so whenever people ask, just say he’s a rescue to avoid revealing that you actually just… don’t really know what breed he is. they usually drop the subject and simply go on their merry way, seeing as he wasn’t the type of pup to appreciate affection from strangers anyways– it’s rare for you to leave the house in the first place, though.

you had to switch to a remote job because blade is just so persistent when it comes to you. although possessive is a much better descriptor, because he doesn’t let anyone near you. whenever you leave to get groceries he ends up practically breathing down your neck from how close he gets— acting as if he were your literal shadow— glaring at everyone that gets too close to you. you’ve made it a habit to always go to self-checkout lane so blade doesn’t scare off the cashiers.

the second you get home he’s all over you, determined to rid you of that outside stench and replace it with his own. you started packing your grocery bags in a way that nothing will break if (read: when) you suddenly drop them on the floor, all because you’re so familiar with blade’s impatience.

he holds you still by engulfing your body with his, knees caging your hips as he grinds into you, shallow and deep. blade’s growls and huffs fill your ears just as much as his cock fills your hole, his knot kissing your tightness from the outside.

“do you like this? like how i have to fuck you every time you decide to go outside again when you could stay here,” with me blade omits, his tail swishing back and forth on the bedsheets behind him, the sound just barely grounding you to reality.

your grocery bags were long forgotten on the foor (as they usually are), your mind too foggy to function. clawing at the sheets, you try to crawl away from blade’s grip— to no avail.

he tuts, craning his head to bite down onto the skin where your shoulder meets your neck. “i might just need to mark you for extra precaution,” he bucks into you, knocking the air out of your lungs. you hear squelching, the constant plap! plap! plap! from his thighs smacking against your ass and whine, broken babbles leaving your kiss-bruised lips.

“b-blade, y’can’t- ah,” he shushes you by plugging you full of his lengthy cock, his knot almost threatening to press inside of you. you whimper, feeling lightheaded from a mix of both nervousness and arousal.

he soothes the hickey he left on your neck, licking it languidly as he stills to bask into the way your hole throbs around him. warm and tight and oh so tempting.

“shit, wanna fill you. wanna… have everyone know they can’t have you. you’re mine, mine to love ‘n mine to fuck,” you’re not lucid enough to process his thinly veiled confession, too busy writhing your ass back against him in a feeble attempt to get him to continue moving.

you might want to invest into some good concealer or into those skin coloured tattoo patches to cover the bruises and bite marks blade’ll leave on you if you want to continue being a functioning member of society. you can’t really be walking around in public as if a dog had just mauled you right before you left the house, can you?

gepard is a golden retriever because of COURSE he is. similarly to blade, he likes to invade your personal space a lot— not because he’s possessive, but because he’s extremely protective of you.

the random bruises you used to randomly notice on your body faded as soon as he came into your life. gepard’s soft, lingering touches healed them; gently placing a hand on your hip before you bump into sharp furniture so it doesn’t hit you, redirecting your head to his shoulder as you nod-off in the train before you bang your head, and so on.

it’s a full-time job and he’s working 24/7, always on the lookout for anything that could possibly hurt you as you saunter off… wherever, without a care in the world— because he took care of everything!

he would clean the apartment for you, cook (though you usually insist you do the cooking; a human doesn’t have the same taste in food as a hybrid), and even act as your own personal alarm clock. gone were the days of being woken up by loud, blaring beeping. gepard woke you up with forehead kisses instead, making your mornings much more pleasant.

but poor geppie, he’s always taking care of you; so take care of him, won’t you?

every so often you’ll sit in his lap to help him get rid of whatever stress he held in his body. your hands will knead at the muscles in his broad shoulders, all while you simultaneously kiss away the strain in his face. his brows are furrowed as you do your best to soothe his muscles; you never forget to smooch his cheek, nose and the corner of his lips.

though the attention and gentle acts of affection always ends with your hands lower than they should be.

“ah ah, no touching, remember?” you murmur in his ear playfully. you had been at it for what felt like hours; gepard’s cock and abdomen was smeared with the remnants of his cum, skin tacky from his previous loads. your hand shows no sign of stopping, not even when he begged oh so sweetly.

“c-come onn. just… jus’ wanna kiss…” and who were you to deny your sweet boy? your lips find his in a heartbeat, his tongue swiping over your own sloppily as he breathes you in like a depraved man.

the only condition you had when you did this was for him to keep his hands to himself— at least until you both decide to move on to something else. until then, his fists clench the sheets beneath the both of you, and his ears stay flat on his fluffy head.

“i’m… i’m close again, g- aah, please, please…!” he begs, cock weeping precum as you continuously jerk him off. you smile, absentmindedly rocking your hips to the rhythm you held him prisoner to— gepard was too engulfed in the warmth of your hand to notice, anyways. “cum whenever you want sweet boy,” you purr, and he keens as he buries his face in your neck, his hips lifting off the bed ever so slightly as they meet your hand and he thrusts, riding the high of his orgasm.

sticky cum coats your hand for the nth time; you relent your grip on his cock for his sake, instead choosing to shower him with chaste kisses all over his face. gepard whines, taking ahold of your waist weakly as he breathes into the crook of your neck.

“geppie, your han-“ he cuts you off, swiftly switching positions so you’re now laying on your back as he hovers over you, chest rising and falling quickly, catching his breath from the intensity of his orgasm. gepard’s tail wags slowly behind him as his hands creep up from your waist to your chest just as slowly- you feel his cock harden against your pelvis, precum spilling from his pinky tip.

“‘ts my turn now,” he huffs, leaning down to nip at your neck.

boothill is the most obnoxious dalmatian hybrid you’ve ever seen (not that you’ve seen many, or at all). but he’s made your life so fun so you can’t be too mad at him

he’s always dragging you out of bed to go do something— could be going to the park nearby or sit in the living room playing video games on your dusty console, it doesn’t matter because he’ll MAKE you step out of your cozy nest!!

you’re glad he’s friendly, because you’re not sure how you would handle such an excited hybrid when you left the house. people come up to the both of you to chat and he indulges their questions, essentially leading the conversation (while you stand there awkwardly, not knowing what to say).

boothill is also great with kids, unexpectedly. 9 times out of 10 when you go to the park he ends up playing with someone’s child, bright smile on his face as he messes up their hair with a rough hand. they’ll throw a frisbee for him to go catch and he’ll do it happily, or he’ll even… teach them how to beat people up.

(you stare mortified as he teaches a little girl how to throw a proper punch only for her to then punch her parent when she leaves boothill’s side. you go up to them and apologize profusely, forcing boothill to bow with you.)

he also loves to help you out, even though he’s not the greatest at household chores— but he definitely tries! though he is a stellar cook, which never fails to surprise you whenever he’s on dinner duty. he just… really sucks at everything else.

it’s… mostly because he just has so much energy. he sweeps the floor? nope, he’s picking off the pieces of the broom off of the floor because he accidentally broke it. he’s fixing your bed? nuh uh, you’re throwing out the ruined bedsheets because he accidentally tore them to shreds somehow.

so, with all of these accidents happening because he’s just brimming with energy 24/7, you started purposely exhausting him. or, rather, gave him the green light to exhaust you until he tires himself out.

“booth-aah, w-wait, you’re being too…!” you fall over on top of his hard chest, keening at the new angle his cock reached inside of you. he repeated his assault on the spot that made you see stars as your jaw gaped, broken moans leaving your lips.

“don’t tell me y’re tapping out.. haa, already!” boothill grunts, his grip on your hips tightening. he throws his head back with a loud moan, abs tensing as he nears yet another climax— the 5th one of the night. maybe, maybe not. you lost count after the third one.

you bury your face into the crook of his neck, focusing on the feeling of his cock plugging you full instead of the soreness, the burn in your muscles that came from your knees holding you up on his lap.

watching you riding him will always be his favourite thing in the world, even if he always ends up fucking up into you and taking back control at the end of the night.

“gonna cu-uum…” you whine, clenching around his length almost painfully tightly, hearing his breathing hitch as an orgasm is forcefully pulled from him in consequence to yours. boothill’s fingers dig into your ass, his hips lifting off the bed as he cums deep inside of your sloppy hole again, sticky fluid building up beneath the sheets.

you collapse on top of him fully, chest heaving against his own as you come back to your senses, slowly but surely. boothill’s ears perk up, hearing how your breathing had evening out.

“so… got another round in ya?”

#not proofread i just rambled sorry teehee #i wish i could say i had the time to think about writing stuff at work but im so busy that i rly cant #gotta keep the customer service grind Up #gotta Lock In when i tell ppl to have a nice day ykwimsayin #anyways i was in a dogboy mood. Clearly #eat up yall #honkai star rail smut #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr x reader smut #hsr x reader #hsr x you #gepard x reader #blade x reader #boothill x reader #blade x reader smut #gepard x reader smut #boothill x reader smut #cw hybrids #tw hybrids

[k1ngpin42]

This one's actually wild- Ghoul x Reader Fic

𝔾𝕣𝕚𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝔾𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕖 (𝔹𝕪 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕤 𝕋𝕣𝕦𝕝𝕪)

WARNINGS: Part 1 of 2 (Part 2 has all the smut but read this first u won't regret it :) (unless u do)

You have been travelling for weeks. Taking meaningless jobs for people for not enough caps and spending them on drinks and a spot of food every now and then. You promised yourself you wouldn’t end up like this. That you’d use your skills in craftsmanship and explosives to help those big organisations clean up the helpless towns you’re always coming across. 

You took a seat on a rusted bench in the center of town, next to some skinny, middle aged man. You eye the synth bartender who has been scrubbing the same mug since you got here. 

“Do you have vodka?” You ask it, and it reaches down, picking up a dusty bottle filled with clear liquid. You nod. 

“Good, how much?” The synth replies in inaudible dialogue and the man besides you smiles.

“He says, 35 caps.”

“For one drink? Pretty steep….” 

“It’s the good stuff.” The man tries. You glare at him.

“‘Good stuff’ huh? It’s got a layer of dust….”

‘It’s…aged.” The man returns with a smile. You roll your eyes. 

“Fine, here.” You say, pouring a small bag of caps into the robots hand. 

He pours you it and you drink it straight without flinching. The man watches you intently. 

“Tough day?”

“Tough life.” You reply, grimly. He nods.

“I hear that.” You nod back, thankful that that unneeded conversation in your life had concluded itself.  “I’m not having the best day myself.” You sigh, having just jinxed yourself. 

“Really?” You ask, acting mildly interested. 

“The group I run with, we protect this town but we’ve been having a time of it lately. This one guy we’re after is relentless. In fact, he’s not even a man he’s a fucking ghoul, and a horrific one at that.”

“Feral?” You question, tapping on the side of your glass to indicate another drink. The robot looks at you, unimpressed. Or at least that’s how you depicted it’s synthetic, lifeless face. You sigh, placing another bag of caps into its hand and getting another swift poor in result.

“No, but he’s the worst type there is. He’ll take out anyone who gets in his way by force.” You tilt your head in confusion. 

“Wait, you’re after a man-“

“Ghoul.” Corrects the man. You sigh at the unneeded correction.

“Ghoul, because he got some people killed in a crossfire? That’s kinda how life is, law-lover.”

 “A man he had conducted business with hadn’t delivered his end of the bargain, and he fed his son to him in soup.” You smirk, surprised. 

“Sheesh. Hardco-“ You return your face to a neutral expression when you notice his look of outrage. You clear your throat.

“How do I find him?” His eyes widen.

“Y- You’re offering?” You roll your eyes.

“No, I said it for shit’s and giggles. There’s a reward I take it?”

“Oh a handsome one- but I’d need proof before the payment can be delivered.” You continue glaring at him.

“I know how a fucking bounty works, Mr…?”

“Flint.”

“Your last name is fli - you know what I don’t care. What’s the reward?”

“1000 caps.”  Your ears perk at this, a warm smile coming to your face. 

“I want 200 now. I need money for my weapons and such.”

“200…”

“If you can’t even cough up 200 how am I meant to believe you’ve got 1000?”

“Fine, here.” He pulls out the caps. “And a drink, on me.” He tells the robot. It nods and you let out an annoyed sigh.

“Knew that fucker could understand English. Why are you trusting me anyway? You don’t even know me.”

“I do, actually. Beautiful young woman in road leathers with a big bag on her back. I take it filled with explosives?” You eye him cautiously. 

“How do you know me?”

“It’s my job to maintain connections in other settlements. I’ve heard you help the odd person with your unique explosives. You build traps, turrets, dirty bombs and such. I trust them, and even if you do just run away with my caps, better than having no hope at all.” You sigh.

“That’s stupid. But I’ll get you your ghoul.”

Even with your advanced tracking skills, the ghoul wasn’t hard to find. He wasn’t exactly subtle, and when he walks in everyone turns, eying him like he’s nothing. He was more handsome than you expected, and to be fair, you hadn’t expected him to be attractive at all. This man wasn’t like any ghoul you had encountered. He looked more put together, and he had a cowboy hat like he had just stepped out of a fucking movie. 

“I’m looking for Adam.” He yells, and you notice the shotgun doing tricks in his hand. 

“To anyone who tries to stop me, I hope today is a good day to die. Although, I suppose it’s as good a day as any…” His accent was unexpected to you. It was deep and real pretty. You wondered why he was the way he was. You always wondered about ghouls, but had never met one you could exchange a sentence with before you had to blow them limb from limb in self defence. 

The bombs were already in place, set to detonate when he got into a certain building. It was made with a fluid ghouls were particularly prone to, and not even a ghoul can survive being transformed into pink mist. Now all you had to do was lure him up there. You had gone with Mr flint from earlier, and were now using him as a cover story. 

“You cock-sucking bastard! I know you took my sister.” He goes along with your story. 

“Took her? She wanted to go.”

“Anyone could want to do anything when their blood is pumped with jet you fuck.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“I know you took her, and I have proof-“

“Oh yeah?” He asks, grabbing you and putting your body against his, running his hands along yours.

“What if I did take her? You wanna join, hm?” The ghoul tilts his head, watching this unfold in the distance. You grab the mans arm and twist it backwards, making him scurry away from the floor. The ghoul smiles.

“Well, well. What do we have here?” He asks, stalking over to you and putting the cold, cracked skin of one of his hands upon yours, kissing your body with goosebumps in consequence.  Flint scurries off to the ambush location, leaving you alone with the ghoul. If there were any others in the town, they certainly weren’t making an appearance with him around. 

“Please don’t hurt me.” You pretend to cry, and he lets out an uninterested groan. 

“I’m not even here for you I-“ He looks at you a little longer and something in his cold eyes change. 

“Fine, what happened, anyway? This man messed with your sister or something?” “He took her, I know he did!”

“Just calm down sweetheart.” He says, putting his hand on your arm. 

“Any idea where?”  You nod, positively surprised that the ghoul fell for the bait. You had heard he had a soft spot when it came to women, children, animals, that sort of thing, at least in certain scenarios, if he cared enough. 

“Yes…that building over there.” You say, pointing at one of the higher buildings. He nods.

“Well….I gotta take care of some business first. You right to stick around? I’m always happy to helps when insects…” He shoots his shotgun from his hip, killing a roach you hadn’t heard approaching. “Needs crushing.” He adds. You tense up a little. The plan was to get him to that building as soon as possible, if anything else triggered the explosion the ghoul would know you had planned to take him out and would likely respond in ways that wouldn’t leave you in one piece. The ghoul becomes more wary at your reaction.

“Everything…alright?” He questions, taking a step away from you. You nod.

“Just…worried about my sister. But I guess I have no idea what’s in that building…I’d probably be dead if it’s filled with giant mutants or gunners or something…” He just stares at you, unimpressed. 

“What makes you think your sister survived then?” You hesitate, maybe you should have expanded your backstory a little before you got here…

“Well…she’s much more equipped at self defence…”

“If that was the case she probably wouldn’t be trapped in a building, now would she?” The unbearable silence is cut short by a machine turret firing at the ghoul. You step back, shocked.  He tilts his head, taking it out with a single shot, along with 4 men who had been aiming at him.

“You know, it’s not nice being interrupted.” He exclaims, storming into the building. You follow him, hiding behind a nearby counter. 

“Adam owed me chems…information….ammo…” The ghoul explains to some scared folk, slowly. 

“We had a good thing going, until he ran away with the caps. At least…he thought he could run away, but a little birdie told me he just had to stop by his hometown and visit his family before he left isn’t that sweet?” He asked, grabbing a woman and putting her into a headlock, aiming his shotgun at the other man. The woman lets out a frightened sound and he puts his hand over her mouth.

“Shh, it’s okay darlin, I’d never hurt an innocent woman.” 

The situation is so tense you’re not sure whether or not you’ve let out a breath since you first saw him.

“However, Adam is your son, and as his mother of course you’d never sell him out or…put him in harms way, but what situation does that put me in gorgeous? M’ I supposed to let an accomplice of a scammer go?”

“Please…I didn’t know, I promise-“ She muffles into his hand. He shakes his head.

“It’s no problem, really….” He mocks, letting her go. 

“Bring me Adam, or the next time you see him will be only his head. Or maybe an arm…or leg, some part of him anyway-“

“You’re sick!” The man besides him spits. The woman doesn’t say anything for a while and the man looks at her in shock.

“Honey, you’re not seriously gonna-“

“He’s upstairs.” She says. The ghoul smirks in a way that sends foreign feelings to areas of your body it probably shouldn’t be sending to, but you try to ignore it as you watch the rest of the situation unfold. 

When you head up there, Adam makes eye contact with you from your hiding spot, grabbing you and putting a gun to your head. You let out a sharp breath. The ghoul rolls his eyes.

“Oh jeez- you can’t just stay out of my way hm?” The ghoul asks you. Your hands are up and you feel helpless. In any other situation, you would have the element of surprise and could take him out with your knife, but you knew if you tried anything, either Adam or the ghoul himself would have your head. You open your mouth to say something. An apology, a plea, anything, but instead you close your eyes, accepting the very real reality that this could be the place you die, the shit hole where some boy too foolish not to know double crossing Cooper Howard was a death sentence, lived. He sighs.

“Let the girl go.” He says, nonchalantly. 

“If…if you leave my family alone, I will.” Adam begs, weakly. Cooper rolls his eyes.

“Your family did the commonwealth an injustice through trying to help your sorry ass. You think I’m going to give free passes to every bum I meet? I could put a bullet right between your eyes right now, and you wouldn’t even have the power to beg me not to.” The ghouls words make Adam sweat even more. 

“If you do that your girlfriend will be dead.” Adam says, and you let out a shaky breath. As if the ghoul would give two shits if you were alive or not. And why would he? Even if you weren’t lying to his face right now, and you actually did have a sister who did in fact need saving, why would that be any of his business. So when the words, “Fine, you have my word.” Leave his mouth, you’ve never been more shocked. 

“I- how can I trust you?” Adam questions. The ghoul groans. 

“Adam, Adam….you speakin of trust after stealing my caps? That’s brave. And real fuckin stupid.”

“D-drop your gun. And I’ll let her go.”

“You really think I care if this smooth skin girl I barely know lives or dies?” Cooper asks, and you sigh. There it is. The ghoul signing your inevitable death warrant. This is what you get for trying to help the commonwealth, you supposed. He shrugs, cocking the gun. This causes Cooper to drop his own, immediately. 

“I’m really starting to dislike you Adam. Give me the girl.” Demands the ghoul, and you can tell Adam was equally as surprised as you are. He hesitantly lets you go, not wanting to cause more bloodshed than needed either. You let out a breath, falling from Adams tight grasp and into the ghouls arms. You quickly push yourself off of him, straightening yourself up and apologising tremendously. He sighs. 

“Don’t fucking mention it. Let’s leave this prick. I believe we have a sister to save.”

“You’re just going to leave him here?” You ask him, softly. He rolls his eyes.

“Unlike some people, I keep my word when I give it.” He doesn’t say anything else before darting straight past you and to the exit of the house.

“Sorry for disturbing you, ma’am.” He tells Adams mum before leaving. 

He still hasn’t said anything, bolting towards the tall building where Mr flint and a room of explosives was awaiting him. You stop walking, partly because you believe if you do not, you would run out breath and surely die to a lack of oxygen, but also partly because you couldn’t stand anymore silence. He saved you, someone he didn’t know, and was now helping you further. He was a harsh being, you weren’t blind to that, but the thought of sending the ghoul to his death right now wasn’t a thought you found very welcoming. He notices you have stopped and gives you a confused and unimpressed glance. 

“You don’t seem to be in much of a rush to save your sister from these ‘giant mutants’ you’re so afraid of seeing.” He exclaims, not looking at you. You shrug, eyeing only the ground at this point.

“I guess I’m a little shaken. Never been held at gunpoint before. Had guns pointed at me, many a time but- well it isn’t quite the same. And then you saved me so I- well I guess my thoughts are elsewhere.” You admit in one clutter of words. He nods. 

“I…guess that’s understandable.” He replies, coldly. You nod, continuing to walk now but at a more reasonable pace.

“Why didn’t you shoot him?” Cooper glares at you, then back at the empty land ahead.

“I told you. I gave my word.” You sigh at his answer.

“Yes, but why…surely I ain’t worth saving. I’m nothing to you.” He laughs at your comment. 

“Spoken like someone who has lots to live for.” He remarks, sarcastically. You can’t help but smile at this.

“I suppose that was a little dull, I just meant….I’ve met ghouls before and they all tried to eat me.” You confess, and he laughs the most gorgeous laugh you’ve ever heard. 

“Well, we ghouls can be unpredictable. I still may eat you yet.” He teases, and you can’t help but put this into a different context in your own mind.

——————————————————————————————————

As you two get up to the building, your heart is racing. All of a sudden your mind is foggy, you feel nauseous. This whole thing is a bad idea. This man-ghoul….who knew at this point, had only been in your life a few hours and already saved you twice, spared an entire family and was now about to be sent to your death for what? 1000 caps? Flint could kill him if he must, you were not taking a part of it. The ghoul hadn’t just saved you either. He was attractive, kind enough, and brought a type of adventure and heat that you thought had turned to ash like the rest of the world. 

“Well, no ‘gunners or something’ yet.” The ghoul remarks. You nod. 

“Uh, wait here a moment, I’m gonna check this room.”

“Okay, but look out for traps.” He says. You smile at this.

“You worried about me?” He shakes his head.

“I’m worried you’re gonna do something dumb and set off a series of explosions that will get us both killed, but whatever floats your boat sweetheart.” Sweetheart. The nickname repeats itself in your head as you question why it makes your stomach churn in the best way possible. You hurry into the room and see Flint.

“Amazing work at getting him here, which room has the explosives?” He asks, eagerly. You bring your hand to the back of your neck anxiously. 

“About that…what if we just forgot the ghoul? I mean he didn’t harm that family even though they were the ones who had robbed him so-“ “I will NOT hear of this!” Flint exclaims. “He is a mutant, a terrible reminder of the fuckups people from his time have made. Bring him to me, I’ll kill him myself.” You’re stunned by Flint’s aggression to you, especially after it was your life on the line. He can walk away from this with an injured hand and you walk away knowing you were almost a corpse on Adams floor? This man was seriously starting to get to you. 

You couldn’t believe what you were about to do. It had never occurred to you that you would stoop this low, but after all the shit you had been through in your life, this was the one asshole to push you over the edge. To make you do and say shit past you wouldn’t have been able to fathom like….

“He’s in the room on the third floor. The passage on the right should take you there.” You explain. Only that room would have no ghoul, and rather all the explosives instead.

“Good. Are you coming?” He asks. You shake your head.

“Fine, but I’m keeping the caps then.” He declares. You nod. What a prick…. 

——————————————————————————————————

You quickly run to the ghoul, grabbing him by the hands.

“We need to go.” You exclaim, pulling him. He looks at you, confused.

“You found your sister?” He asks. 

“What? Oh- yeah…come on.” You say, and thankfully he follows. You hear a booming explosion behind you and you shut your eyes tight. Cooper looks at you, bewildered.

“Care to explain to me what the fuck that was?” He demands. You stare down at the ground. 

“How…about I tell you over a drink?"

#fallout #fallout tv series #fallout 4 #fallout 4 inspo #cooper howard #the ghoul #smut #the ghoul smut #the ghoul x reader #the ghoul x you

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

I remember you once wrote a post about snape not being written how JK rowling thought she did, can you elaborate on that please perhaps? I also heard he is so much more of a dick in the books (never read the books, only watched the movies some time ago xd)

Anon. Sit down. I have shit to SAY. Okay, so, Snape is 100% worse in the fucking books. He insults hermione so viciously that she permanently alters her appearance. He threatens to poison Neville's toad and actually punishes Gryffindor house when Hermione prevents that from happening. He constantly goes out of his way to insult, belittle, and embarrass Harry. There is no reason why an eleven year old boy should feel as though a teacher hates him. There's no reason why he should be right. Let's get one thing straight: Snape does not like Harry. He only protects Harry because of his love for Lily. He straight up admits it. Dumbledore asks him "You've grown to care for the boy?" and Snape says "for HIM???" Like. If Harry was not the son of lily, would Snape care about him at all? If Harry was the exact same boy (same personality, same everything), except that his mother was not lily, would Snape give a shit about him? No, right? So how can anyone say that Snape likes *Harry*? He doesn't! People will say that Snape had to be cruel to Harry to keep up his facade, but I call bullshit. Snape did not have to go as far as he did. When Snape catches Harry alone with the mauraders map, he insults Harry even though there is no one else alone. Tell me who he is putting on a show for? Harry already thinks Snape hates him, so why did Snape take that opportunity to viciously dig into him? Also, why does nobody talk about the fact that Snape chose to become a death eater in the first place? "He had to put on an act" Why join the play in the first place?? In my opinion, JKR gives him too many irredeemable characteristics and/or choices. Also wouldn't it have been a more sensible decision for him to be a good teacher to everyone? For someone who was trying to keep his secret identity under wraps, he does a poor job. Harry and his friends suspect him CONSTANTLY. Harry goes to Dumbledore multiple times about Snape still being in allegiance with the dark lord. If Snape's reasoning for being cruel to Harry and the non-Slytherins was so he would not draw suspicion to himself, he does an absolute shit job at it lmao.

Snape isn't an awful person as a facade. He's awful because that's who he genuinely is. Don't believe me? Well, we get a look at him outside of school, before he has any death eaters to impress. My beef with JKR is that we're supposed to forgive Snape after one chapter. The chapter "The Prince's Tale" is supposed to redeem Snape.

One. Singular. Chapter. In the final book of a 7 book series is supposed to undo every single thing we've seen so far. I'm not saying that's impossible, but I am saying it's not the chapter JKR seems to think it is. We're supposed to believe that Snape is so redeemed after this chapter that Harry deadass names his son after him. It absolutely KILLS me that in the chapter JKR uses to prove that Snape is a good person, he does more bad shit! It's not filled with cute Snape moments; it's filled with moments where he's a creepy ass young adult. He enters the potters' house after they die and you know what he does? He rips a photo containing Harry, James, and lily, and keeps the portion containing lily. That's fucking creepy! That photo could have been given to Harry, but no! Snape just had to keep the portion containing Lily.

When he's a teenager, he tells lily he won't "let" her do something (I forget exactly what it was). Lily accuses him of wanting to be a death eater and he not only doesn't deny it, but lily CALLS him out for not denying it. That is something that canonically happens. Snape DOES become a death eater! He is friends with people who do dark magic. He calles Lily a slur in front of a crowd of people. He's shown to have blood purist beliefs as a child; Lily asks him if her being muggleborn makes any difference and he hesitates before answering. It's clear he DOES think being a muggleborn makes someone less. I can forgive Snape for being a weirdo as a kid. Everything is more acceptable when you're a small child, but he never changes. In the chapter JKR uses to justify everything Snape has done so far, she shows him STILL being a bad person even outside of school!! She seems to think she wrote some tortured hero who was kind deep down, but she wrote a bully who was so obsessive over one woman that he didn't care about whether her husband and child died so long as she remained alive. Snape loved Harry? Snape was okay with him dying as a baby lmao. Once again, Snape only cared about Lily. JKR wrote Snape as obsessive when she clearly meant to write him as deeply in love. That's what I mean when I say she didn't write him how she seems to think.

Also, as an aside, I truly feel like Draco and Snape are kind of the same, but jkr HATES Draco, and that makes no sense to me lmao. Like, the series would have been better tied together if Draco was redeemed as well. I'm not saying Draco is a good person, but to call Snape a good person despite him being a cruel grown man, and in the same breath condemn Draco who is literally just a child who grew up in a racist family? What sense does that make.

[clockworkbee]

When you realize that Jude hadn't pardoned herself, not because she hadn't figured out the loophole in the exile (meant specifically for her) but because she had loved Cardan (even if she wouldn't admit it to herself), and was hurt.

Jude had loved him since before she became a prisoner of the Undersea. She loved him when she agreed to marry him. She had hoped her feelings were returned but the exile didn't just mean she couldn't go back, it made her think (and believe) that Cardan hadn't loved her. She wanted to go back because Elfhame was home, she wanted to go back because she missed magic, but how could she go back to where the boy she loves—the King—was probably enjoying himself with his ex or a new lover, mocking her with his friends and laughing over her with her sister, being free at last of any commands, all while knowing (assuming) how much of a fool she was made?

Jude was hurt, not incapable of understanding the faerie wordplay she'd grown up listening to most of her mortal life. The slap she gave Cardan only showed a little of how deep that hurt went.

#i read shit people say and it fills me with #words #to defend my queen #she was *oblivious* #oKAY #but she wasn't dumb #my girl was hurt and couldn't bring herself to face the boy she loved esp. not risk her life knowing what he's capable of #now that he was free to rule as he liked #being released of his vow to her #aaaaaaaaaa #jurdan #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #queen of nothing #qon #the cruel prince #the wicked king #the folk of the air #tfota #holly black #tfota analysis

[themoonking]

it’s not actually that weird that people are saying “harry potter was never good, actually” after joanne went full mask off, and no it doesn’t mean that we all secretly think harry potter is amazing but don’t want to admit it. it’s pretty simple actually: most people read harry potter when they were children, when they hadn’t read a lot of other books and therefore didn’t have a lot to compare it to. then every time you reread it as an adult, you’re looking through pretty hefty nostalgia goggles. then, after you’ve realized that joanne is a violent bigot that wants you and / or people you love and care for dead, those goggles are broken and when you attempt to look at hp again you’re more likely to see it’s flaws. it’s not rocket science.

#like don't get me wrong people have pointed out stuff wrong with hp since the beginning #both the bigoted aspects of it and the simply bad writing aspects #but it was in bits and pieces and far less vocal #whereas now you see its more 'wait a minute the entire series is lowkey shit' and is a lot more people saying it #also for people like myself #you read a lot of fanfiction and saw a lot of fan discussion and so whenever you reread harry potter #that stuff was in the back of your mind whether you meant it to be or not #and it maybe caused you to think that what you were reading was a lot deeper than it actually was #because you were taking all this fan content as canon even if nothing of what you were actually read in the text suggested it #but then when everything fell apart you hadn't even thought about harry potter for a good while and that fan stuff wasn't in your head #and you could see the text for the mess it was without the bolstering and hole filling that fandom had done for it #i speak #anti jk rowling #and there's also the point that when harry potter was at its peak popularity the entire world was reinforcing the fact that this is amazing #so you're less inclined to find flaws because somethign this big cant POSSIBLY be bad

[missmoondrops]

why do so many people come into my DMs with brand new blogs and deactivate within less than a week of us talking? just say what you want so i can either a.) tell you to fuck off or b.) tell you it's fucking ON

#on one hand this shit annoys the fuck out of me but on the other i get the feeling #it's just people being lonely and doing and saying things just to pass the time/try to fill the void #which is like. hey. hey. i get it. #the void sucks and it leaves you restless and makes you do stupid shit sometimes. #i have no elegant conclusion here 'cause i don't even think it's fair to just ask people to swallow their desire for human connection #but you're not gonna get that online. you're just not. #go outside talk to your coworkers go to the library attend a protest go to a park sign up for a class #if you don't feel like any of those are viable at least make art compulsively in your room and read and pick up smoking or drinking #and stay off social media #if you do that for long enough community will find YOU #i speak from experience #heyitsme

[rutadales]

I think my least favorite thing that happens in fandom spaces is how overly familiar people act towards you. Like whenever I get a post over 200 notes I have people making jokes in the tags that aren't like outright distressing or gross or anything but that just. idk! are jokes I would only make with people I know. Like "fuck you!" or "oh this is awful" or whatever that's done in a joking tone but it's still weird. You don't know me like that

And it's not so much a problem over here because we are so insular as a community so even if I don't know you guys by name or if we don't follow each other I still recognize the person commenting on my stuff. enough to almost certainly recognize the joking tone instantly and for that familiarity there to be warranted. we're not friends but it's like, yeah! I know this person they've been here forever. It's comfortable.

But in larger spaces that casual familiarity is gone. I've literally never interacted with you before. It's like if you overheard a conversation on the street and just walked in and started joking around with them like you knew them. it's uncomfortable!! and like yes obviously I'm looking for interactions when I post and tag things that's the whole point, so it is inherently different than say a private conversation being intruded on but djakfoofjf just don't act like you know someone you've literally never engaged with at all before.

#root talks #vent #delete later #like it's not the same feeling as when people are just telling me I'm a dumbass or a piece of shit #Like what happened when I first started posting in this neck of the woods #It's a different kind of ''oh I hate this'' #And it's not just clarity of intent here that's the issue #bc even though that absolutely factors into it if I got a tag that was like ''kys /j'' from a stranger I would hate that #we don't know each other!! #Just bc ur joking doesn't mean I'm going to be cool with that joke #and again tbc this doesn't happen on this blog #it keeps happening on my main tho and it's super fucking weird! #Post gets more than 100 notes? I am going to get weird comments #The anonymity online usually results in people not really reading this as a real person receiving ur messages #which I am not the first person to point that out #and I've also had this issue especially when I was younger! #It was something I had to grow out of and a social skill I had to develop #and even now I find myself constantly reminding myself a real human person is reading and responding back to me #a person with a job and cats. who is going to get groceries tomorrow or forgot to fill their car up with gas on their way home from work #like people with huge complex lives are typing to me and reading what I say so I have to think abt what I say! #Idk I'm just thinking abt this it's been a weird time

[bugdogg]

if i ever seem brave for some of the stuff i admit on here, just know its cause idk how to keep shit to myself. i cower at the thought of judgement and then proceed to expose my whole ass to tumblr anyway, because i dont have a working filter

#tags are filled with worried rambling again #i hear a laugh track play whenever my anxiety flares up #im scared of what other people think of me which in itself is funny #ik others opinions of me arent an indicator of me being a bad person #other people arent gonna kno my whole personality from the stuff i draw #i fear judgement despite experiencing nothing but positive feedback on this site because i keep reading into the small things as negative #i know all this and still wither away in my shell knowing all this im saying is what id tell others if they were suffering with it #i walk in this circle and do it thousand times til i pass out from the exhaustion and later wonder y i was worried in the first place #i want to be able to say “who cares they dont know you” but ive been raised by people who spent almost every conversation- #with me basically saying they know me very well and know whats wrong with me and ive been raised believing everyone knows more than me #i worry of being so serious and actually genuine like this but this is how i like to be sometimes #stupidly thinking too much into things and laughing at myself for it and wondering why i would put myself down on something id encourage- #others to do #i worry about losing people because they wont like all of me but they wont know that unless they see the whole picture #i find myself disgusting w/ my thoughts and the things i wanna create but i dont think that of others and its strange #weird ass moment here..... #i had a really good day today got a job and finished my first tattoo #im happy right now despite the shit i just spewed #im figuring myself out for the first time in maybe years #i just wish all the hateful shit i absorbed over those years fades away soon #and i hope i stop caring so bad lol #anywayyyyy have a wonderful rest of your weekkk <3 if u read this

[lizstiel]

.

#also this isn't meant as shade or a vague in any way but #writing for this fandom #creating any kind of content for this fandom tbh (spn) #is so hard because like #at least for me #i am petrified that i'm going to write something and then be vagued #or talked about for ''not understanding the characters'' or getting their characterization wrong #which like YES it can be annoying to be reading a story and be like huh #that is the complete opposite of what **I** think that character would do #but some of y'all go IN on these people #like truly and wholly go in on them #and as someone watching that from the sidelines it fills me with DREAD to write #I can work on something for literal years #and continue to hide it because I don't want a bunch of spn blogs to talk shit about me #and that's like. a very **me** problem. that's no one else's issue. that's just how it makes me feel #and like yes obviously it's your blog and you can say whatever you want on your blog #i'm not trying to shame anyone I get it trust me #but SEEING it #i'm just saying it gets in your head and it stays there #it's just a rough thing #and this is probably prevalent in most fandoms #i just feel like the spn fandom is very....loud about these characters #because they care about them so much #oh but ___ would never do ____ #or you're SO wrong for thinking ___ would ____ like #bestie you didn't create these characters either #i don't know this has been sitting heavy on me for a number of years #i miss writing #i used to love it #but writing for this fandom just fills me with so much anxiety

[tinyorangepotato]

Yo like straight up your parents kinda suck!

he tries but yeah that doesnt make it much better

#asks #anon #thanks for the ask #more ranting in these tags i guess #tiny talking #so like my mom died when i was 11 to a drug over dose. but even before then she was out quite a hit. probably doing drugs and hanging #out with people but i also think she was working too. and up till i was 8 i think my dad was a truck driver crosscountry so hewasnthomealot #but yeah i rmeber me and my brother filling up an enpty huge bubble gum plastic bottle with coins and coming to it one fay and it was empty #because of my mom. now my dads choices havent worked out for him since he wants to do things his own way #and not work for other people but over the course of rhe years hes leanring he cant do that anymore i guess #it actually probably woulve been so much better if my dad dient rush into moving because then he would have money saved up #and wouldnt have had to pay for an extra 8 ish people and all the time and money he put into that house #but yeah both arent very good people but my dad himself is just trying to stay afloat and i wanna help but i shouldnt have to #but he is getting more of his shit togwther which is good #hes started to pay me back and is forcing himself to work where he doesnt wanna #but yeah. anyways reading this ask and having someone else say it made me burst into tears lmao #nit a good thing seeing as i am in ym bed in the living room and i ahte for peopel to know ive cried but what are you gonan do #anyways time to get high. reblog and bury these then watch chilled chaos ✌️

[ya-gurl-emily]

What are you supposed to do when you finish a collection? honest question.

(a transformers collection memiour I guess?)

For reference: about 4 years ago (Holy shit it's been 4 years, covid time is fucked up) I got really into transformers,

it started by just wanting a fidget toy for my desk so I got Kingdom Arcee because I liked her as a kid and I was feeling very #Girl (also cause the only bumblebee was the ww2 buggy that I regret not picking up)

But that toy kinda sucked ass so I got 86 Jazz, followed by Kingdom Optimus because cmon it's the big man himself.

So yeah I figured this was just a hobby now so I gave myself a goal: Complete the main cast of Transformers Prime

Honestly I picked an amazing time to get into toy collecting, Just late enough that I wasn't stuck with siege figures or bad covid QC, but early enough that I got some basic G1 cast before legacy (like genuinely Bulkhead and Arcee in wave 1?? Along with my personal Glup shitto Dragstrip? It was made for me)

It's been a blast, it's so satisfying seeing my cast grow, I love finding old figures at any cons I go to (I got classics Bee and Thrilling 30 springer at my first comic-con and those 2 are amazing)

But that idea of having the complete tfp cast was always in the back of my mind and any casts I completed along the way were fun bonuses (07 movie cast, Devastation autobots, RID 2015 and I don't even like that show)

But now that's just about finished, I don't have literally every character in the show, I'm missing a few one off episode characters that I don't care enough to get (I'm not spending 60 euro on dreadwing again just because he's green, also tfp cliff looks sick but it's bundled with 90 euro worth of toys I don't want (also it's fucking cliffjumper, he'll get a new toy eventually) )

But yeah... Now what?

I still like transformers, there's stuff I'm excited for but there's no long term goal, yknow?

I'm already struggling to justify this to myself as is whenever I put a new toy on display I have an honest to God existential crisis about what I'm doing with my life

(I nearly cried transforming spoiler nemesis prime for this reason) but then a day or 2 passes and it's back to being sick

Idk it's a weird feeling, not bittersweet, more like, yeah okay, that's cool I guess (granted I still haven't taken a photo of them all together so maybe my brain hasn't fully registered that it's happened, we'll see)

Anyways tldr: funny toy robots briefly made me feel alive and that's gone now

#Long post #Like very long holy shit #For me anyway. I gotta say shit more #Anyways that tweet about adhd people using brackets because every thought has an echo fighter is very true and correct #My transformers shelf is my pride and joy and I refuse to talk about irl because I'm afraid people will think I'm stupid #But that's a post for another day and a private account #Or we bottle it up and die. We'll see #I have toyhax on the way for smokescreen so I'm waiting till that for the group shot #It's gonna be sick #RAHHH I LOVE CONSUMERISM!! I LOVE FILLING MY LONLIENESS AND POOR SELF ESTEEM WITH TOY ROBOTS RAHHHH #Idk how coherent any of this is. It's late and I'm tired from work #If you've read this far thank you. You are now breathing manually :3 #toy collection #transfomers #Side note 86 bumblebee and springer were revealed today #Honestly they look kinda lame and that makes me happy cause I'm happy with Netflix bee #Also springer was already a downgrade and now it's going for leader price lmao fuck that

[our-lady-of-mcr]

.

#also god bless my friend who pointed out that im moving up and im going to be in a salon soon and will actually be doing something good with #my life vs the friend who did me this way pretending shes still in high school that freaks out and loses all her friends every 6 months #i wish it didnt bother me. and i know in 2 months im going to have brushed it off and move on like i always do when bad shit happens #but for the wound being fresh this shit just fucking sucks i hate it i hate it i hate it #i made a very very very vague post on reddit just asking for advice #and the more popular reply was someone more on my side who basically said i should tell her to go fuck herself pretty much #and the second one was someone who v obviously did not actually read the post who said it was all fluff and basically defended her even #when in my post i am saying i defended myself while still listening to the shit she says #and i fucking hate reddit bc people are so.....quick to be hateful and judge #and i knew to expect people being hateful but god DAMN like you yourself are basically saying theres not enough info (yes there was) and you #still are quicker to assume im in the wrong #meanwhile everyone who knows her is like bitch we told you to not forgive her last time and now look where you are #and i am not a perfect person i have flaws the same way everyone else does. literally everyone has said and done shit they regret #and i have fucked her over before because she lost her fucking mind on a campus manager and an educator and she told me to find my own ride #home because i didnt defend her losing her shit and screaming at everyone and ended up having to write an incident report (so did the other #girls who watched it happen so nOT just me) anyways now she uses that as an excuse for treating me like fucking trash because she finally #found out about the god damn incident report which made it so now anyone can say i said anything and she just believes it #its such a fucking joke to me because like ????? girl if we were in opposite positions you would have filled out the fuckin report too #granted it was a handwritten letter and not a report but it was basically the exact same thing as an incident report #my bad that a year ago i wrote a letter saying i was scared you know where i live and that youre mentally unstable. funny how a year later i #feel the same way all over again! except i dont because im not scared of her anymore shes a fucking theater kid who needs to get a grip #i cant wait to look at my self tag again in 2 years and be like DAMN REMEMBER WHEN THAT HAPPENED #every single person who knows her that isnt friends with her (i am basically refusing to text her friends bc i dont even want to know) #keeps telling me i didnt do anything wrong and ive given her too many chances and she fucks me each time #i just wish she would go get help bro there is something so wrong with her #self

[fingertipsmp3]

Good evening I have just realised that my best friend is dating someone who is basically me but in male form

#no because like. this man is 6’3. brown hair. AND. this is the craziest part. his name is basically the masculine version of my name #i mean it IS the masculine version of my name. you masculinise ‘ellen’ and you get….. well fill in the blank #this man is neurodivergent as all fuck #he reads. he codes. he eats the same thing every night. he has a boring job no one understands. he’s into d&d; sci-fi and fantasy #he doesn’t respond to messages but when he does; he sends essays. doesn’t like seeing people #and the absolute kicker is HE TALKS LIKE ME AND I CAN’T FUCKING HANDLE IIIIT #his style of speech is genuinely the exact same accidentally pretentious shit that comes out of my mouth #he has a big vocabulary and he just uses it without thinking. LIKE ME #HE’S ONE OF ME #why would she do this. where did she even find this man. is she trying to say she’s attracted to me?? #listen. physically it’s a yes. would. and obviously i adore her AS A FRIEND #but i couldn’t. i just couldn’t. i know she’s batshit insane in a relationship and i’m waiting for her to drop the other shoe on this guy #plus this isn’t even a question because i’m pretty sure she doesn’t like girls #i also just physically could not. ultimately. i mean i could if i had to to save the world or something #but i’ve known this person for 18 years. it’d feel wrong in a bad way #i think what’s happened is we’ve actually just become house and wilson. so #personal

[sapsolais]

,

#(pathetic whining) #why does everyone i love have to live far #i am craving Community again. where are friends in my area who are not a 3 hour drive at least #week long drive at most #crying. wailing even #this is not my usual occasional feelings of “deer roadkill moment” but more akin to “sopping wet kitten in the rain” #philosophy sucks. the people who are actually engaged in that class are all not. self aware. like #the way they speak tells me everything i need to know. i love discussing shit like that. but the minute you start talking like #you don't work a job to be here then i'm immediately tuning u out. it's the Elitest Academic Bubble Syndrome #psych is more lecture and not a lot of discussion. and i'm cool w my coworkers but we're in such dif places in life that it makes it hard 2 #connect outside that y'know #i'm hoping maybe next quarter's classes might!! surround me w some cool people ;; i'm taking my best friends' advice #i need an art class. even tho i hate traditional art classes. thinking ceramics would be cool AND maybe be filled w gay people #reader if you've made it this far. pick a god and pray for me please #i would just like. friends please c': #sap says #me: reads fics abt people my age carpooling 2 college or bonding thru retail hell #me: (head in hands) #argh. ooougherahraa. if only it were that easy :')

[chelleisamazing]

I just finished reading the 'God Save the Blessed American President Mom' fic and I sobbed hard through it all..

#god Im a wreck rn but I needed that cry #my anxiety at work has been so bad lately... #heaviness in my chest shaking hands kind of anxious and its been awful #and the best i can do for myself rn is come home and just disconect reading wholesome rwrb fics #and ive also been having trouble sleeping so thats what i do #until my eyes get too tired #bc i guess some part of me doesnt wanna wake up next morning #and go in rto work and get drilled with emotionally draining work and deal with stupid shit/people #not my coworkers/friend tho #i love them sm they keep me sane ♡ #I'll never say it to those dummies but I think they're pretty neat ♡ #just here avoiding more sleep writing this #and hoping tomorrow is the day it finally gets better #but not really feeling that hopeful... #either way.. #at least i can always escape into alex and henry's love-filled world at some point of the day and worry about nothing ♡ #loads of rambly tags but #truthfully-- no piece of media has ever touched me like this #and it really feels like it heals something in me for a while ♡ #been thinking if I should see a therapist again too... #but im pretty sure my insurance doesmt cover it... #anyway #goodnight and here's to hoping #sad? little post #stuff

[micer2012]

a reflection on MatPat's plagiarism

Hello, my name is Della, or micer2012, and 2 years ago Game Theory plagiarized three Tumblr posts of mine, making a video that now holds almost 6 million views.

My posts explaining his plagiarism made their rounds on Reddit, Tumblr and Twitter, but despite the Hermits and Pooka commenting on it (generally in support of me or saying they don’t know enough details about the situation to say either way), MatPat and his team have never owned up to anything, and no mention of my name is present on the video. The one Reddit post they made denying it (which was made before my detailed takedown, which they have never responded to (though the mods on the r/GameTheorists Reddit were kind and made sure it stayed up)) didn’t even mention me by name, just referring to me as “a tumblr user”. (Though one of the screenshotted comments in the body of the post does say my name)

This experience was baffling, but it’s overall had a positive impact on my life. r/Hermitcraft gave me a Golden Apple Award (post of the year, 2021). My inbox was filled with excited fans, wanting to ask me questions or pose their own theories, far more than the hate I got. (Though the hate I got from Game Theory fans was VERY funny. I wondered why none of them gave me shit about saying “MatPat misgendered Evil Xisuma” before realizing none of them read that far into the post.)

And getting on a more personal, and much more important note, I met most of my current online friends through this, including my partner. It helped me grow closer with my irl friends as well and gave me an entertaining story that I tell whenever I have the chance. It was one of the first things in my life that really made me feel like my talents, my autistic hyperfocusing and analyzing of things I love, could be valuable. Useful. Exploitable. It blew my mind that MatPat thought an autistic kid’s ramblings about a Minecraft Youtube joke character were good enough to steal. To put an audible sponsorship on. To get 6 million views off of.

And that’s why I’m writing this post, this update years later. As you might’ve been able to guess, Hbomberguy’s Youtube video on plagiarism reopened this wound. It was really hard for me to sit through, it took days of pausing and taking breaks, because I had experienced everything he was talking about firsthand. 

In my 10 page long takedown post, I wrote about how his rewording of my sentences made him say things that were incorrect, just like Filip did. The content farm production style that made big companies like Cinemassacre take one creator (AVGN/MatPat) and turn him and his content into a brand, a voice that reads out scripts by other people with other opinions/theories, is a history shared with Game Theory. What really hit me was Harris talking about how big creators only do this to people they think they can get away with doing it to. How they view their victims as lesser, as not deserving of their words, repackaging them as their own to give to an audience that can gain from hearing them, but deserves better than to have to listen to the original victim.

That’s the thing, I 100% think a video version of my theory to expose to a bigger community than “Evil Xisuma Fans on Tumblr” is a great idea!! Near the end of the video Harris talks about how video adaptations of things could be a great market, even an accessibility tool, and I completely feel that about my posts. I wrote them quickly assuming the reader was someone well versed on Evil Xisuma lore, after not even watching most of the CarnEvil series, and the diagrams I made to explain them are even less comprehensible. Harris makes a joke that I completely agree with, 

“I’m sure some of my videos would do very well if someone translated them into English.”

I don’t think I would’ve ever made my posts if I didn’t have autism, and a special fixation on Evil Xisuma and Hermitcraft. I made them because I felt the character was being done an injustice, and because I wanted to share with other superfans this theory that might explain it away. I do think that MatPat plagiarizing me was ableist. I used to wonder a lot if this would’ve happened if my posts were articulated better, if they had been peer reviewed, if the posts themselves had been spread to a wider audience before MatPat made his video. At one point when the discourse was fresh (before I had the time to write out my 10 page rebuttal), a bigger YouTuber (100k subs at the time) messaged me and started talking on Discord, interested in possibly making a video on the discourse, but I think my style of typing and general enthusiasm drove him away. You can tell by a single look at my blog (or my original 3 posts!) that I don’t usually type like this. This post you’re reading now has been peer reviewed and edited, and took me hours to format correctly. That video could’ve been huge, the entire outcome of this MatPat situation would probably be much different.

I also used to stress a lot about “being the one who ruined Evil Xisuma’s story”. If you didn’t know, to me S8 Evil Xisuma’s story got wrapped up pretty quickly and unsatisfying (in my personal autistic opinion). (though this might’ve been due to s8 being experimental and ending early with moon big) There was no real culmination of the plot points and arcs going on, and I don’t want to blame myself, but when Xisuma said on stream (when the MatPat thing was first going on) that he didn’t want to focus on the discourse or draw more attention to it, it makes a lot of sense to me that he just wanted to wrap it all up as quickly as possible. For a while I beat myself up about it, of ruining the story of this character I love, but it’s not my fault. If anyone’s, it’s MatPats, but I don’t think it’s useful to just blame someone else. That’s how the story ended up going, and that’s fine. This is Evil Xisuma we’re talking about, their inconsistent lore is what made them such an interesting character. And notably, Pooka made an animation with an awesome culmination of Jeff, the Dreamer, Evil Xisuma, and his own sona’s story, and it makes me so happy to watch. Whatever Pooka does is of course his own choice, but I’m glad he got to give this personal story his own ending (if it is an ending, and not just the start of a new chapter!). 

Typing this all out and getting it off my chest has made me feel a lot better. For a while I wanted to make my OWN video essay about Evil Xisuma’s lore and CarnEvil’s lore, actually going episode by episode to explain it instead of just assuming you knew as much about Evil Xisuma as I did. That idea is still not off the table, but MCYT isn’t something I’m that into right now. Maybe if something else comes out about Evil Xisuma I’ll get back on it, but for now I’m fine with letting that go. But I want to make other videos, share other theories and analysis… if I have the freetime I’d love to make YouTube videos, and if I don’t have the time I’ll continue posting to my tumblr and infodumping to my friends. Apparently my infodumping is valuable enough “content” to steal! Writing this out has made me feel a lot better though, I’m really glad I got it out.

If anyone ever wants to talk to me about the things I’m obsessed with, or reach out to me as a source in a bigger discussion about Game Theory or other channels, my inbox is more than welcome :] Thank you for reading! 

Sincerely, a tumblr user.

#exiavojtmmc #hermitcraft #matpat #gt #game theory #hc #mcyt #evil xisuma #hbomberguy #plagiarism #james somerton #jeff the minion #mine #micer2012 #hcs9