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goldenlikedayl1ght · 9 months

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bound for n.y.c - g. van fleet

a/n: hi everybody! i’m back with a cool 3.6k fic about the one, the only, greta van fleet! i am seeing them at msg next week and am so excited that i just wanted to write a quick fic. please note that there’s no set ship and that it’s sort of implied that reader is in love with all members of the band and all the band members are into reader and NOT EACHOTHER. except maybe sammy and danny. let me know if y’all want anymore of these types of fic, idk maybe it’ll flop. also this is kind of fast paced and i am very sorry for that warnings: kissing, physical touch, mentions of anxiety and stress, complicated love triangles, food mentions, reader has a stepdad and a good relationship with their mom, reader being from ny, i think reader is fully gender neutral with maybe a few feminine traits but no real descriptors. also reader has tattoos and mentions of a dog that is no longer with us! no use of y/n, one mention of drugs, a bunch of references to sex, and cursing :0 word count: 3.6k summary: as tour manager, it's your job to get the boys to new york city, your home town. just don't fall in love with them, or anything. now playing: runway blues – greta van fleet

Being tour manager for America’s favorite Led Zeplin cover band, or at least, that’s what your judgmental bitch of a landlord called them once, was surprisingly difficult.

You were constantly running around after the four of them, feeling often more like a nanny than a tour manager. Especially at first. You had started meeting with them a few weeks before their World Starcatcher tour had begun, where you wore these professional, stuffy outfits. They had been referred to you by their makeup artist, who you had known from when you were an assistant to the tour manager of Phoebe Bridgers’ 2022 reunion tour.

You had been working for a producer when you got the call. Truthfully, you missed touring. It was a great way to see different parts of the country and the world, and you thrived in the chaotic environment. And you had heard of Greta Van Fleet, mostly from your grandfather, who was a huge classic rock fan, and always exploring new music via his iPad.

But you started out rather cooperating with them, wearing these stuffy outfits—Mostly long button ups and pencil skirts, while the boys showed up in comfortable casual clothes, always joking about you having to loosen up a bit.

And one notoriously hot day in early July, you showed up in shorts and a muscle tee to meet with them to go over the final dates of the tour before you all gave your go ahead to the social media manager.

You didn’t do much talking about the tour that meeting, opting instead to answer questions about your tattoos, your taste in music, your life to this point. And in exchange, they gave you pieces of themselves.

“I’m from New York,” You had answered over some late afternoon drinks. “I haven’t been home since Christmas, So I’m excited to see my family when we’re there.”

Josh’s fingers traced your upper arm, over a tattoo of your long-gone dog. “Will we get to meet this little guy?” He asks.

You only chuckled, “No, this one died while I was in college. Best dog I ever had.” You said solemnly.

And that was it. One comment about your dog and the boys were hooked on you forever. And when the tour started, you only grew closer— Sharing with them parts of your childhood, Jake teaching you the very basics of guitar, Josh taking shots with you before shows, Danny bringing you coffee to cope with those shots the next morning, and Sam holding your hand when he’s anxious, or when you’re anxious—or both.

So, by the time you make it to the boys’ first show at the Garden, you’ve developed a routine.

The bus leaves by seven a.m. from the hotel in D.C. to get to New York by nine, nine-thirty-ish. You’re craving a sausage, egg, and cheese on a bagel from your favorite deli near where your mom lives, about an hour outside of the city.

So, you wake Jake up first, as he takes the longest to really wake up, and you’re sure you’ll have to shake him awake at least twice before he really gets up for the day. Then, you go to make sure Josh is up, and hear his shower going by the time you get to it. Good.

Then, you head to Sam, who is snoring away with Rosie. You almost don’t have the heart to wake him up. Almost. But Rosie senses your presence and stands up in bed, starting to lick his face. He groans, mumbling a soft, “I’m up, Rose, I know.” You feel good when you head over to Danny.

But thankfully, he’s already up. He’s in bed, writing in his notebook when you get there, sipping his coffee and all packed up for the road. His hair is tied up in a bun, and you’re entirely grateful that he’s so good at this whole thing.

Usually, you don’t need to wake each of them up, but every few shows, the five of you, as well as other crew members, indulge in the after party. And last night was your turn to be the D.R.O. Designated responsible one.

Eventually, you get all four of them downstairs and on the bus, no real difficulties. You all climb onto the bus and begin the drive to your home state. And you can hardly take the anticipation. Seeing your family again, visiting your favorite spots, and getting a homecooked meal was keeping you going. You had moved to California for school, before traveling on a few tours, and then settling for about a year in Nashville. But you ached for New York.

While your boys busied themselves with talk, games, and music, you stared out the window, biting your thumb and ignoring the reruns of Daredevil that played on your laptop in front of you. And apparently, you were bouncing your leg intensely, because the only thing that snapped you out of your thoughts was Rosie’s head on your thigh to relax you.

You scratched her head, sighing as you closed your computer, before glancing up to the boys, who had gone suspiciously quiet.

“What?” you asked, giving them a concerned look.

“You know we’ll make it to New York, right?” Sam asked, “You’ll be there soon.” He said, holding your hand, just like he always did when you were anxious.

“I know, I’m just—I miss home. And I love touring, and usually I’m never like this, but when I realized I’d be seeing my mom after months, I just... It made me start focusing a lot more on the fact that I miss it.”

You knew they’d get it. Michigan had been their home for years, and although they loved Nashville just like you did, you knew they left a part of themselves in Frankenmuth, just as you had in New York.

Danny tossed you a blanket, “Get some sleep, Sugar. You’ll need it.” he said softly. You nodded, too anxious and tired to argue any further than that. You cuddled up to Sam, Rosie finding her way in between your legs to further comfort you.

As you drifted off, you thought about your relationship with them. Things like Sam’s holding your hand and cuddling, Danny’s very often kisses to your forehead, Jake’s gentle hugs from behind, and Josh’s well—Josh’s everything, he’s a very affectionate young man—had been, for the most part, strictly platonic. You had thought about it. Kissing one of them, asking to break the professional lines of your relationship, however blurred those had become.

But it was more than that. Over the past few months of knowing them, it had developed from you getting them from place to place, into a softer, more tender relationship. The relationship you had formed with them was something you had been desperately lacking and needing. You had only realized that you missed it when you got it from them.

You were all real true soulmates.

You woke up to the sound of a loud series of honks and yelling from outside the bus. You peeked out of the window to see people screaming at each other, thousands of people making their way to work, and tall skyscrapers overhead.

“Jesus Christ, it smells like someone died!” Jake complained, as the rest of the boys agreed on the smell being horrid. It made you grin. You were home.

You stretched and pulled out your phone, checking the itinerary for the day that you had written out in your note’s app the night before. And you were right on schedule, since you accounted for traffic getting here. It was around noon, so you decided to head over to the hotel to get settled in before the show.

Except when you got there, the lady at the front desk informed you there were no rooms booked under the name you had given them. Which was insane, because you booked a room months ago knowing how expensive and unpredictable the city was.

So here you were, a show that night, with no hotel room, and a group of hungry twenty-something year olds. You were going to scream. And they could see it on you, your muscles tense, as you struggled to not start shaking.

Josh rested a hand on your arm, rubbing his thumb gently against it as he wrapped his other arm around your shoulders. “Deep breathes, Baby. You made that reservation; these guys are just a bunch of fucking fucks.” And it made you laugh, enough to relax you. You took another minute to think, before turning back to the rest of the guys.

“Okay, here’s the plan. We must be at the Garden for soundcheck and costumes, hair, and makeup by five thirty. We’ll go there now, drop off our bags and we can go grab pizza and garlic knots at this spot I know, good and are very cool with service dogs.” You said, unable to think of a scenario where you leave Rosie anywhere except with Sam. “While we’re there, I’ll make a call, since I think I know where we can stay if you guys don’t mind a bit of a drive after the show.” No one objected, they simply got back on the bus as instructed, and headed to enact that plan.

After dropping off your things and making it to the pizza place, you step outside for that call, telling Jake to just order you a soda. The phone rings. Once. Twice. And on the third call, your mom answers, excitedly saying your name.

“Where are you guys? Did you make it to the hotel okay?” she asks, and your face melts at the softness.

“Hey, Mom, we’re in the city, getting some lunch. Listen, the hotel messed up our reservation, and now we’re looking for a new place to stay... I know it’s last minute, but—” And before you can ask it, she cuts you off.

“Well, you five can stay here! We have the guest room, your room and your brother’s room.” She decides. “I’ll cook, do they like sausage and peppers?”

“Mom, you don’t have to, it’s gonna be late when we get in.”

“And you still need to eat. I’ll see you tonight, okay? I love you baby, break a leg tonight.” She advises, even though you aren’t the one preforming.

“Alright, I love you, mom.” You hang up and head back inside, settling into your seat next to Josh, just as the waitress comes back to take your order. “We’ll have a large cheese pizza with half mushrooms, please. And a dozen and a half garlic knots.” You say coolly, not giving the boys a chance at all. You love this restaurant. It’s best you order anyways.

They all stare at you for a few seconds before you smile. “You all get to meet my mom tonight.”

“Don’t you think we should have a couple of dates before we meet your mom?” Danny asks, and it makes you giggle.

“What do you think this is?” You tease.

Lunch goes really well, and after a bit of tourism and some drinks around the city, you make it to Madison Square Garden to get them ready for the show. For a brief few hours, you have a break. Usually, you spend it catching up on some work, having some quiet time, or anything of the sort. But this is their debut at the Madison Square Garden, in your hometown. You feel an obligation to watch the show.

Before the show begins, as Josh and Jake are getting their makeup done, you relax with Sam and Danny on a couch somewhere backstage. When Jake is done, he steals your phone off the table, and holds it up to take a photo of the three of you. Sam and Danny lean in and each kiss one of your cheeks, and it makes you roll your eyes for a second before you smile at the camera, letting them be all lovely dovey and affectionate, like a bunch of freaks. Your freaks.

When the show starts, you watch from the sidelines, cheering for them and generally enjoying the show, because you just know how important this is for them. And you eat it right up, watching your boys perform at a dream venue for so many artists.

Before they start Highway Tune, Josh starts speaking to the crowd. “This is a very special show for us. Our debut at The Garden. The Garden, how about that?” He hums. “And we’re also playing in our tour manager’s hometown... So, we have some special surprises for you in their honor.” The crowd goes wild, and your face flushes, giggling at the idea of them performing a special show just for you.

The show goes by quicker than you would like it to, because you’re enjoying it too much. And you’re really understanding suddenly why so many people are down bad for them online. They look really fucking good. When they get off stage, you just want to cling onto them or make out with them or worse, and then they go back on for the encore and it leaves you longing, wanting for more.

What the fuck is happening to you?

You get caught up in this feeling to the point where the next hour or two—Waiting for the crowds to clear out, for them to get undressed, for the bus to get there—fly by, and before you know it, you’re in the bus again, heading to your moms. Josh lays his head on your lap, and Sam has found himself cuddled up against you. Danny is leaning against Jake across from you, and Jake is just staring at you. He has a familiar look in his eyes, and you just stare back.

When you make it to your home, while all the houses are dark and quiet, the kitchen and living room light is on when you make it to your home. The bus driver has family in the area, so he’ll stay with them for the night, and pick you up early on Thursday Morning, giving you all a break from the crazy travel days.

Your mom is in the kitchen when you come in, having late night coffee and tea with your stepdad. She hears you come in and gets excited, greeting you all at the door. She pulls you in for a hug and a kiss, holding onto you for a little while, just excited to see you. When she pulls away, she grins at the boys.

“And who are these lovely young men?” she asks, teasingly.

In a deadpan voice, you respond, “The cokehead rockstars I’ve been traveling with. I’m their groupie.” You say, and she scoffs at your sarcasm.

Josh smiles, “That’s us, Baby!” He opens his arms to your mom, and she gladly hugs him as a greeting, despite this being their first meeting. And there it is again, that aching feeling you had, when you watched them perform tonight, the same feeling that followed you home. After hugs and introductions, you’re all at the dinner table, gobbling down the dinner your mom made for you. You can almost cry, enjoying the taste of her cooking after months without it.

And the boys enjoy it too, loving a filling meal after a busy show. When you have all finished eating, you make your way up to your respective rooms. You stick Danny and Sam in the guest room, Jake sleeps in your brother’s room, and Josh in your bed, with you. You could almost die.

You take out your earrings and then you lay down. Your arms are exposed, showing off the tattoos you have once more. Josh sleeps in his boxers and a tee shirt, even though your room is chilly. He lays next to you and begins tracing his fingers over your tattoos.

“What’s this one?” he asks, tracing over a ghost that’s on your forearm, right above your elbow.

“Got it during the final show of Phoebe’s tour. She has a similar one somewhere, and I guess it was my way of commemorating the tour.” You explain. He hums, and moves to a different one, asking you the origin of that one. This goes on for a while, before you kiss his palm and tell him to get some sleep.

He falls asleep quickly, and you just stare at him through the darkness. ‘Are you dreaming of me?’ You want to ask, a hand reaching out to run your hands through those vicious curls. Before you know what, you’re doing, you cuddle up to him, laying your head on his chest. When you feel his arms wrapped around you, you begin to drift off, confident that you did not overstep any boundaries.

When the morning strikes, you get up and realize Josh is still asleep. You wiggle out of his arms and leave the room. You must be lost in thought because you bump flat into someone without even noticing. It’s Danny. His hair is wrapped up in a towel, and he only wears a towel around his waist.

He reminds you of that one video of Slash from the golden age of Guns N Roses, and it stirs something deep inside of you.

But he just chuckles and kisses your forehead gently. “Hey, sweets.” he says softly, in that raspy morning voice.

“Good morning.” You respond. “Sorry for interrupting.”

“You didn’t interrupt anything; you don’t have to apologize.” He advises. “See you downstairs.” You take a cold shower just to get out of your own head before heading downstairs, where you meet your mom, Jake, Sam, and Danny laughing and eating French toast, as your stepdad cooks in the kitchen.

You love his French toast, but a pang of disappointment hits you as you think about your sausage, egg and cheese on a bagel, with hashbrowns. You quickly eat to dissipate any of those needs. But you’ve been talking about that sandwich for months, so it haunts you.

The rest of the day, you spend pretty much doing nothing. You nap, lounge, and catch up with your mom. It’s the perfect day. Just you, your mom, and your boys. And of course, Rosie. Your mom makes pulled pork sliders for lunch, and you order Chinese food for dinner. Real, good Long Island Chinese food.

And really, the day is over before you really want It to be. Sam asks you to join him on walking Rosie. You happily oblige, planning on taking him to get ice cream along the way. He has his arm wrapped around your shoulders, and you keep your head leant against his shoulder. Rosie trots in front of you happily.

“I could get used to this.” He says suddenly.

“Huh?” It catches you off guard. What does that mean?

“This. The quiet life. Walking my dog in the suburbs...” He says shyly. You get the sense there’s something on the tip of his tongue and you long for him to say it. “I love touring, but these domestic moments... You can’t beat ‘em.” He decides.

You want to kiss him so badly.

Instead, you just hum, and snuggle closer to him, wondering what the hell you’re doing. And that’s a super valid question.

The night goes the same as the last, except you kiss your mom and stepdad goodnight, not wanting them to have to get up in the morning to say goodbye. You suspect your mom will anyways. And she does. As the boys file out of the house, she’s handing them homecooked meals for the road, and you give her one more hug and kiss goodbye, before heading to the bus yourself. The others are on the bus, but Jake stands there, his hands behind his back. You narrow your eyes to him suspiciously.

“You’re an amazing tour manager, you know that?” He says gently.

“Yes, I do. What are you scheming at?” You ask, not totally trusting him.

He just grins as he reveals a brown bag he’s holding, handing it to you. Your confusion only grows as you take the bag and open it only to smell the best thing you have had in months.

A sausage, egg, and cheese on a bagel. With hashbrowns. From your favorite deli.

You almost scream.

“What?!” You gasp, “How did you—”

“I borrowed your mom’s car this morning and got it for you.”

“You didn’t have to do that...”

“Yeah, I did. I meant what I said. You hold us together, and we couldn’t be more grateful. Plus, you’ve been talking about this sandwich for months and—” You don’t let him finish. You kiss him. It’s full of all this pent-up passion you’ve held in, and Jake just wraps his arms around you, deepening the kiss. He wanted this just as much as you did, you realized. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you both lean into the kiss, fully enjoying the moment. Then, he pulls away, saying your name quietly.

You don’t know what to say. Then, the bus honks twice, scaring the shit out of you.

“C’mon you two! We got things to do, you sorry shits!” Josh yells. You can only laugh before you both climb onto the bus. Now, a new lust has overcome you. The lust for the sandwich you hold in your hands.

The lust for the four boys that surround you doesn’t dissipate either.

But as you head for Boston, your boys in tow, your shift as Greta Van Fleet’s tour manager begins once more, and you resume your position easily.

Until Sam kisses your neck. Then you melt again.

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cobaltrequiem · 11 days

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I meant to send this yesterday but as someone who has loved bioshock for years I’m genuinely very curious to hear your thoughts on the games if you’re up for sharing some of them

OMG HI sorry I didn't see this in my ask box! Thanks for the ask @sand-worms and appologies for the rambling ahead!

The first BioShock game is my favourite out of the whole series, but that's partially because I'm quite sentimental about it. It was one of the first "serious" games that I had ever played. I was a teenager and before that point I was only allowed to play "family friendly" games. BioShock was one of the first games I bought with my own money on my own console (a switch lite I saved up for myself), and it was wonderful. The way it wasn't afraid to be overtly political and it wasn't afraid to frighten or challenge the player. It didn't treat you like an idiot.

I soaked up every aspect of it. The gameplay. The setting. The area designs. The characters. The messages that it wore on its sleeve. And the story, god the story! I was completely transfixed by it.

I finished it in two days, and I still consider it to be one of my top 5 games of all time. I wrote an essay on it's themes for my higher english course, and still regularly think about it.

It is one of the two games ever that has caused me to have an epiphany about videogames, not as simply an enojyable experience but as art, and truthfully I cannot bring myself to replay it. My first experience with it was so thorough and meaningful that I cannot bring myself to replay it. I know it wouldn't be the same. You were beautiful and I can never play you again.

I played BioShock 2 shortly after, and was initially quite disapointed at it for not being BioShock 1. You could tell that the story was written after 1 and that bugged me. Its political messaging also didn't seem as pointed to me.

However, throughout the course of the game I grew to really appreciate it's differences. The personal connection between Elanor and Subject Delta was incredibly touching. The choices in the game felt more meaningful and gave it an aspect of replayability that the first BioShock game did not have. The gameplay aditions were also great! I loved using the drill in particular, it was an incredibly satisfying weapon to use. It's story about altruism also resonated with me despite the slow start and I thought the adition of multiple endings (that didn't hinge on "is murdering children bad?") was also great.

BioShock 2 only took me a single day to complete, I sat down for 10 hours and played it all the way through with very few breaks, and I do seriously intend to revisit it - I own a copy for the xbox 360 now which should be infinitely better than playing on a switch lite. Overall its a very well made game, it just doesn't hold the same place in my heart as the original.

BioShock Infinite haunts me.

It's a game that had so much potential. The religious horror. The game's aesthetics. Playing a character that talked and reacted to things!

I went in with high hopes and loved it initially. I had a very personal experience with it too, albeit in a very different way. When I was a young child my dad bought a copy of BioShock Infinite shortly after it released and I would sit in the living room while he played it. It terrified me.

I have particularly vivid memories of the scene at the fair, it was maybe one of the first genuinely terrifying things I'd seen in a piece of media. It was a foundational memory for me and is perhaps where some of my love of horror comes from as an adult because it didn't just scare me to the point of tears, it fascinated me. The gore laden glory kills and the mechanised patriots were similarly horrifying but I never stopped watching. There was something alluring about this game I shouldn't have been seeing.

I really wanted to like BioShock Infinite but just couldn't. The story at times seemed like an excuse to get you from one point to another, the fence sitting centrist politics were tiring, and it tried to do everything at once.

BioShock Infinite was not a good game, but it was mediocre in an interesting way and that has stuck with me.

It wanted to be a political drama. It wanted to be high concept sci-fi. It wanted to be religious horror.

The area design made you feel like you were going around in circles. Vigours had very little story or gameplay relevance making them seem like a pointless adition clearly only meant to imitate plasmids. It didn't feel like a BioShock game but despite all of that it had potential. So many different ideas went into it, so many interesting storybeats and scenes and themes went into it but it just ended up feeling muddy and convoluted.

I can pick out so many things I like about it, so many things that are interesting and could have been amazing but weren't

Not too long ago I read a post from someone on this site. Something along the lines of "a good game will stay with you for a week, but a game that's mediocre in an interesting way will stick with you for life"

My dad never finished BioShock Infinite, but I did. I still think about it to this day.

#thanks for the ask!#The other game that made me have an epiphany about videogames as an artform was Disco Elysium btw #The first BioShock game is still in my top 5 of all time for my deep personal connection to it in a good way #personal #bioshock

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chocominnie · 3 years

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One Last Time 01 — Pjm. (M)

⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader

⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst

⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…

⇢ Song : xxxxx

⇢ Word Count : 4.3k

⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!

⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?

The winter’s coldness is hardly enough for you to bear. Even though it’s just the beginning, Seoul is known to just go from season to season without a fucking warning. Not only that, but the first snowfall is going to come soon. The weatherman has been talking about it non-stop for the past few days. It’s going to be a brutal one he says but he says that every year so why believe?

Turning off your alarm, you take a few minutes to collect yourself and stretch. Barely any sleep once again but that’s an everyday thing now.. without Jimin. It’s been some rough months not having his body wrapped snugly onto yours. These days you long for his touch, but completely dread at the same time for very good reasons.

Your kitten greets you with small licks on your thigh in which in return you pet her head softly with a smile.

‘‘ At least I still have you babygirl. You keep me company. “ You coo softly while grabbing your phone off the charger. Texts from your best-friend just spamming you with love and apparently she’s coming over. Great. That’s normal. But one text catches your eye. Jeon Jungkook.

You furrow your eyebrows as your finger slides to open it after typing in your password. In relief, he’s just checking up on you as always. Rolling your eyes, you muster enough strength to actually pull yourself out of bed. The cold tiles hit your feet like icicles. You jump from from foot to foot cursing yourself for not turning on the floor heaters as you walk out the room. Clara, your kitten, follows you out purring nonchalantly with a few meows here and there.

‘’ Alright Clara I hear you. Im getting your food now.’’ You chuckle, grabbing her food from the bottom kitchen cabinet right under the sink and pour her half a cup of cat food and a whole bowl of water.

After snacking on your morning granola bar you prepare yourself for your morning routine. Shower, brush teeth, skin care, get dressed, clean. Your phone dings once more just before stripping yourself of your clothes. You don’t bother to look it’s probably just a social media notification.

Drying your hair with a towel as you get out the steaming hot shower, you head straight for the mirror. Dark circles remain under your eyes from months of barely any sleep. You sigh, and gently rub under them. Jimin is the cause of this. Why would he do this to you. Surely enough he would not like to see you like this at all. The worriedness he would have over you is huge. But he has moved on and you just have to accept it no matter how in-love you still are with him.

As you clean up around the living room, another ding from your phone occurs. A groan escapes your lips as you place the pillows back as they should be. In hopes of it just being your manager giving you some good news, you let out a sigh and plop yourself down on the grey suede couch. Three new messages. Jeon Jungkook, who has text you twice, and Ryan your bestfriend.

‘‘ Damn it Ryan why must you consistently text me twenty four sev- “

“ Beause I need to know if you’re okay.”

You jump and drop your phone onto the hardwood floor from the voice that comes from around you.

“ Holy fucking shit you scared me! “ You whine, turning around to face your best-friend. She smiles and holds out her arms for a hug. You roll your eyes and open yours waiting for her embrace.

“ Oh i’ve missed you so so so so so so so-”

“ You just seen me yesterday..” Your voice sarcastic and bland as you let go of her. You sit on the couch first followed by Ryan sitting right next to you.

She looks good today, the navy blue coat she has on suits her very well. Although, you cannot figure out why she decided to wear leggings today. It’s going to rain a bit later but you disregard that seeing as though she’s the fashion deisgner and not you.

You. The model and seemingly ex girlfriend of one of the biggest solo idol in the world right now. Thats what they call you in the news, headlines in magazines, and real life as if you don’t have a real name and just was his acessory. Your modeling career had taken off way before dating him. The world, or Seoul to say the most, didn’t acklowledge you to that point yet.

“ Okay but still. You know we should be roomates. It’ll be easier for me to watch over you. “

Your head turns towards her quickly shaking no, “ I don’t need to be looked over im 20 years old.”

Silence takes place for the next few seconds. You know what she’s going to say next but pray she doesn’t. Those words will just make you even more upset. It’s already enough you have that constant reminder in your head.

You watch her fiddle with the rings on her index and pinky fingers. “ But you know… you haven’t been the same since you and Jimi-”

“ Don’t fucking say it. I don’t want to hear it.”

She sighs harshly and stands up, “ Im just worried about you Yn”

“ Don’t be. Im fine. “ That lie escaped your tongue way too easily.

Truthfully you haven’t and won’t be fine. Everyday there is something new about that girl and Jimin on twitter. Gossip pages, twitter fanpages, and online entertainment pages just always talking about them. They did this, they did that today. Oh we caught them going to this and that restaurant. That used to be you and him.. but now everyone has forgotten about you and focused on them.

Ever since you’ve told reporters and paparazzi repeatedly that you will not be holding or going to any interview they just stopped. A few calls here and there to your manager about scheduling one but she knew you didn’t want to do them so every request is denied. Although its been a year and some change, they still seem to want your side and your opinion to weigh in on. I guess that’s what happens when you date an Idol.

“ The door.. Y/N the door somebody is at the door.” Ryan says, tapping you over and over. You shake your head interrupting your thoughts for the time being. A few more knocks come through.

Finally up onto your feet you harshly walk to the door with each step making noise. It’s to early in the morning for someone to actually be knocking at the door right now. Whoever it is better be dropping off some sort of package, or they’ll surely get a piece of your mind.

Your frail hands grab onto the doorknob and swing it open. Your eyes almost pop through your sockets. How? How did he know you were here? You certainly did not tell him your knew address.

There he stands, his tall frame looking down on you. Lips formed into a tiny pout along with his eyebrows scrunched slightly. His brown eyes forming an ungodly stare into yours with his specs on.

“ Yn! Do you know how worried I was about you? Why did you not answer my messa-”

“Jungkook how do you know where I live?” You pace your hands on your hips, raising an eyebrow at him. To your knowledge, you never gave Jungkook your new apartment address.

Jungkook swallows slowly and puts on his best innocent face on. Oh please like that would work in this moment right now. The only person who has this address is Ryan because she’s the one who helped you move. Even if you had the choice of not giving it out to Ryan you would of but you couldn’t do that to her. She would of been so upset.

Ryan’s voice blares in the background full of excitement. Here we fucking go. “Jungkook! Come in Come in.”

“ Ryan says I could come in.” He says quickly, brushing past you and removing his shoes.

You heavily sigh and slam the door shut. What is this a family reunion? On your way back to the couch you notice them laughing and giggling like two five year old children. They don’t even notice you when you sit right across from them.

You study their expressions. Their chemistry is something so strong. The way their eyes light up when they meet, the way that Jungkook smiles and scrunches his nose more often when she’s around. You miss that. You miss doing that.

“ So are you both coming along this afternoon?”

Your attention focuses back on them. Of course you weren’t paying attention once again.

Your eyes slowly meet with theirs, “ Huh? Where are we going?”

“ Kookie finally bought a house! He wants us to come tonight for chicken and beer. You’re coming right?”

A sharp pain goes through your heart. If the both you you guys go then theirs a possibility that Jimin was invited too. After all, that is his brother. If Jimin comes then he’s most likely going to bring Isabel. A recipe for disaster. Your poor heart, that most likely could not bare the sight of them infront of you, would shatter into a million pieces.

Jungkook’s expression is ready to burst into happiness or to turn into a pout awaiting for your answer. If you let him down he’ll surely be mad at you. But putting yourself before him this time would be the right thing to do right?

“ Listen Jungkook I.. don’t think I can go.” You start off, playing with your hair with your head down.

“ I’ll space you two apart.”

Your face automatically lifts itself up in shock. Somehow, that little confirmation of Jimin being there, gave you some hope. Hope for what though?

“ Wha-what do you mean?”

Jungkook sighs heavily with his hand going up to his brown hair running it through lightly. “ I’ll make sure you two are distanced apart. You don’t want to come because of Jimin but I’ll make sure I’ll invite more people to keep you company and away from him. Okay?”

“ Please Yn. I’ll be there too.” Ryan begs, laying her head on Jungkook’s shoulder. Jungkook smiles a little, caressing her cheek with his other hand upon waiting your response.

Weird. When did they get so close?

The first thing you want to say is that you really could not go. But they already know the excuse now. You might as well just give in.

‘‘ Fine. What time tonight? “

Skincare and makeup products are scattered everywhere on your vanity. You needed the perfect look for tonight that says ‘Yes im doing fine without you’, but in reality you’re doing worse. This is the night where you’ll actually see him. Damn it’s been a while.

After you apply your highlight you step back and take a look at yourself. Not bad at all. You smile to yourself and start cleaning up the mess of products you had distributed across the vanity. A new text appears on you phone as soon as you gather everything up and put it back in it’s place. Grabbing your phone, it’s Ryan giving you the address to Jungkook’s new house.

You sigh and mentally prepare yourself, ‘‘ Okay Yn. You can do this. It’s just one night of conversing among people. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone new.”

Before heading out you grab your coat and scarf. Clara follows you all the way to the door letting out her little meows once again. You bend down to pet her head lightly with a smile. “ Clara im coming back. I’ve put food in your bowl babygirl.”

She purrs under your touch then walks away to settle herself in her bed. You take one last final look at your decent sized apartment before heading out.

The subway ride was agonizing pain for you due to it being 30 minutes long. Well, at-least you can ride the subway now. Your mind wouldn’t even of thought of that when you were with him. Everybody would have noticed you and bombard you with questions.

The outskirts of Seoul is peaceful and quite. Not many people live over here. Mostly famous actors and idols. The taxi takes a few minutes to get to the fairly clean subway station. Once you’re inside you take a good look at the driver who seems to be eyeing you in suspicion. You pull out your phone and read the words to the address exactly to him. The taxi man pulls of into the empty streets of god knows where.

All it took was a ten minute ride and then you’re there. The taxi man pulls up to a security guard booth. Just beyond the gates is more street but by squinting your eyes you can make out just a few newly built houses.

‘‘ Who are you here to see?” The taxi driver says.

“ Jeon Jungkook.?

The driver talks to the man for a few seconds before you see the security guard pick up a phone and start dialing. The security is extremely uptight, thats good. After a few moments of speaking the security guard finally opens the gates to be let through.

As you pull up to the house you’re automatically mesmerized on how big and beautiful it is. There’s fresh bushes and some white roses growing in the front of it complementing the white modern style home. The roundabout is full of luxurious cars, in which might be all the other guests.

‘‘ 10 dollars’‘ He says. You give him the ten, thank him, and grab your purse, closing the door behind you.

Your eyes meet face to face with the expensive house. Behind you is the tire wheels backing up and running off back down the roundabout. The time on your watch reads 8:15. Only fifteen minutes late, not bad right?

With each step you take fear quivers inside of you. What if he opens the door? What if that girl opens it instead? The wind blows harsh-fully hitting your cheeks making them turn slightly colored. You raise a small, shaky fist to knock on the door. Your blood turning cold, and face turning pale already. Your anxiety already taking its place inside of your body.

The door swings open revealing Ryan smiling from ear to ear. She pulls you inside without even a greeting. You kick your shoes off in a hurry as she pulls you more and more inside. Scanning the area around you, its a nice huge place. First the both of you pass the entrance, then the chef sized kitchen, which then leads you to the spacious living room where everybody seems to be sitting.

All eyes are on you now with some familiar faces and some not. They smile and greet you one by one and you slightly bow your head with a fake smile.

‘‘ Ah Yn, nice to see you again huh.’‘ Hoseok, the smiley one says, getting up from his seat to greet you once more.

‘‘ Nice to see you to Hoseok. Is Chae-Yeon here? I’ve baked the cookies she likes.’’ You say, holding up the big tuba-wear of freshly baked cookies. Nobody can resist those.

‘‘ No she had to work sadly, but I will enjoy them for her.’‘ He chuckles, bringing the tuba-wear out of your dainty, cold hands.

A very familiar voice booms from behind you causing you to turn around. “ Yn! You actually did come!’’ Jungkook, the owner of the voice exclaims. He wipes his hands with a napkin just before pulling you into a hug.You pat his back just before letting go.

Ryan smiles and shakes her head, “ I told you she would come.’’

Only one hour and 30 minutes into the festivities and half of the people here are drunk or nearly there. You on the other hand do not drink at all. Staying sober throughout this whole party is a must. Who knows what would happen if you start drinking and saying things.Ryan seems to be doing good with Jungkook who’s laying on the floor laughing and cracking jokes with her head laying on his stomach giggling along with him. The others have casually invited themselves into the guest game-room to play some pool.

You just sit there on the couch, munching on a cookie and smiling and laughing here and there at one of Seokjin and Jungkook’s back-to-back jokes that seem to never leave the air.

Only for a knock on the door to interrupt their flow of jokes.

‘‘ I got it I got it.” Seokjin stammers, placing a beer bottle down and stumbling towards the door. You freeze, face turning pale once more. It’s them. It could be them. Your teeth find their way to your lips and you begin to chew on it excessively.

Ryan notices it and automatically gets up from Jungkook, ‘‘ Come Yn, lets go see if the game of pool is interesting.’‘

You nod your head slightly as you get up from the couch. What are you worrying for? You look extravagant tonight. No need to worry yourself.

Just before taking your first few steps you stop, that voice. That oh so familiar voice begins to inch closer and closer. The famous laugh that he always tries to stifle by putting his hand over his mouth, that you’ve always thought was so fucking cute, fills the air.

You don’t know what got over you, but you sit back down dragging Ryan down with you. “ Yn? What are you doing I thought you wanted to avoid him.’’

‘’ No it’s okay. Im going to be fine.’‘ You say, awaiting upon his arrival into the room.

The footsteps are haunting you with each step they take.

one..two..three..four..five..si-

‘‘ Everyone, Isabel and Jimin are here.’‘ Seokjin stammers, smiling wide clearly drunk from all the beer consumed.

Your eyes go directly towards his. The pit of your stomach flutters with nervousness as you hold the long stare with him. His facial expression shocked but not showing it at all. His partner, who’s arm is linked with his, smiles brightly at everyone bowing her head slightly to them including you.

‘‘ Sorry we are late. Jimin didn’t want to come out of his home studio but I’ve made him come along with me.’‘ Her voice gentle and soft.

‘‘ Yn I forgot let me show you my new painting i have received.” Jungkook says quickly, trying to escape you from the awkwardness.You can bare it though its not as bad as you thought.

‘‘ Maybe later Kookie. I’m going to grab some juice.” You say, getting up from your spot. You brush past Jimin lightly with Ryan tailing along with you.

The spacious kitchen was perfect for you to escape for just a moment. Silence is golden. Ryan sighs, pouring you and her a glass of juice. Nothing is to be said yet. But you know she really wants to have her input.

Raising the glass to your lips, you take a sip letting the tanginess run across your tongue and down your throat. ‘’ Say it Ryan.’’

She puts her cup down and looks at you with your eyebrows furrowed, ‘’ You aren’t fine. Please just avoid them for the night.’’

You knew it was coming but you have to face the fact that they area couple anyways so why avoid it? Maybe your mind will finally accept it to see it in person.

‘‘ I have to face it one way or another so why not now?’‘

She shakes her head in disapproval, finishing the rest of her juice. “ No you don’t. You’re making yourself suffer and I don’t like it.’’

‘‘ Yn.. did you make these cookies?’‘ A voice says behind you. Ryan’s eyes go wide and then looks at you signaling for you to not turn around. But you do it anyways.

Isabel. How dare she call you by a pet name? You don’t even know her like that and she’s doing this. Anger wants to get the best of you but you remain humble and calm.

‘‘ Yes. Is there a problem though? Are they not good?’‘ You say, putting on your best innocent act.

She smiles as she moves a piece of hair of her perfectly framed face, ‘’ No they are great! I was wondering if i can have the recipe.. for Jimin’s purpose of course.’’

You breathe through your nostrils with your eyes closed. She knows what she’s doing. She likes seeing you suffer huh? ‘’ You can follow any recipe online. I just add almond extract and substitute white sugar for brown.’’

Ryan shakes her head slightly while sticking her cup into the sink. ‘’ I’m going to be back I have to use the restroom.’’

Once she leaves Isabel’s smile drops.’’ Almond? Im- Im allergic!” She says, semi yelling at you. You’re shocked more or so at the sudden outburst that you can’t speak. You had zero knowledge of her being allergic, it’s an accident for sure.

“You did this on purpose!’’ She says, tears filling her eyes as she goes into a coughing fit.

Shit. You didn’t know if anyone was allergic to nuts here but you had put it in anyways because that was the secret ingredient

‘’ I- I didn’t know im sorry is there anything I can do?’’ You say, guilt taking over you while you rush to her side patting her back.

‘‘ Get off of me! You did this on purpose! You never liked me anyways. Jimin! Jimin!‘ She scream’s, coughing and wheezing making her face red.

Multiple footsteps rush into the kitchen. You don’t know what to do at this point so you just back away and let whoever take over. All the commotion going on and yelling is starting to give you a slight headache. All of the boys surround her, bombarding with questions and asking each other what to do.

‘‘ What’s all the yelling about? What happened! “ Jungkook exclaims rushing towards her hunched over body.

‘‘ What’s going on? “ That voice that haunts you everynight finally comes inside the kitchen. When he see’s Isabel he automatically rushes towards her side. It pains you to see him rush to another woman’s body. But that figure is no longer yours so he has every right to do that.

‘‘ She-She put almond in the cookies on purpose! She’s trying to–to-’‘ She manages to wheeze out before another coughing fit.

Jimin’s eyes meet yours full of rage but then taken over by concern. He knows your hurt. Still hurt from the past and from this very situation now. You don’t manage to keep eye contact, so the floor is your eyes’ bestfriend right now.

‘‘ Yn. is this true? Why would you do that?” He says, eyes never leaving yours and voice soft.

You shake your head quickly, “ I didn’t know she was allergic. I always put almond extract an-’’

“ You knew better than to put any type or form of nut in a dish when bringing it to ones house. You never know if someone has an allergy to it.’‘ Jungkook scolds you, eyes furrowed in shame.

‘‘ Don’t blame her. She didn’t fucking know.” Ryan’s voice enters the room in madness. She comes to your side with her arms crossed. Your own personal savior. Without her, you’d still be feeling guilty and taking the blame.

‘‘ Besides, you knew better than to invite him if you knew he was going to bring the girl he cheated on her with.. right?’‘ She says, cocking her head to the side as her attitude takes over.

The room is silent again. Good girl Ryan.

Isabel lifts her head in disbelief along with Jimin. “ Listen that’s beside the point. Just don’t do it again.” Jimin says, focusing his attention back on Isabel. He reaches into her purse to grab her Epi-pen.

His scolding is enough to send your eyes into tears. You shouldn’t of agreed to come. This is a disaster. You take the tuba-wear of cookies from the counter on your way out of the kitchen and dispose of them. Your vision is blurry and you don’t know where your going but you just need some air. You make lefts and rights down long and short hallways till you reach a room that has a balcony.

You slip on who-ever’s house slippers and open the sliding door revealing the winter’s cold harsh air. You lean on the railing and close your eyes breathe in and out heavily.

Wiping the tears away, You open our eyes and look straight ahead. The whole city is lit up such a beautiful view for a sad moment. The sad moment is cut short by the sliding door opening and closing. You don’t bother to turn around it’s probably just Ryan checking on you again. When are people going to stop doing that?

“ Yn.”

Thats the last voice you wanted to hear.

‘‘ Are you happy? Happy for scolding me infront of everybody.” You sniffle, wiping away your leaking nose.

You hear some rustling before something is placed on your shoulders. You look down at the material and shrug it off of you.

‘‘ Give it to your girlfriend.”

‘‘ I can’t let you be cold. Put it back on.’‘ He sighs, picking it back up and coming closer to you. You both stand side by side. Jimin puts his jacket around you once more and before you could re-do your action just before, he speaks.

‘‘ Shrug it off again and I’ll scold you. Do you understand?’‘ He says firmly.

You don’t bother to speak. Silence is golden.

‘‘ Listen.. i know you still aren’t over the fact that we are through but-”

‘‘ Shut up. I don’t want to hear it. Please go tend to your dying girlfriend.’‘ You say, sarcastically.

He huffs, “ She’s resting right now. She wouldn’t have to be if you wouldn’t of put-’’

You turn towards him slowly and meet his eyes daring for him to finish the rest of his sentence. ‘’ Don’t you fucking dare Park Jimin.’’

‘‘ Honorifics.’‘ He says, slightly looking down at you due to the height difference.

‘‘ You’re right Jimin-ssi.’‘

Jimin’s expression is taken a-back. You knew that one honorific word would hurt him.

‘‘ If we are done speaking I will take my leave now.” You say, eyes never leaving his as you take off his jacket and toss it to him, leaving him outside in the cold

This night was one of your worst mistakes. You thought you could handle it, but couldn’t. So maybe Ryan and Jungkook were right. Maybe you can’t handle it at all..

582 notes · View notes

scripturiends · 3 years

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law school episode 9 musings

warning: very very long post ahead. i have a lot of thoughts.

hey folks — how we feeling about episode 9?

given that there are so many plotlines in the show, i’m afraid i won’t be able to extend my analysis of the episode as far as i would like, but there are three characters who stood out to me the most last night that i’d like to talk about for now:

kang dan

there’s a lot that we got to uncover about her thanks to professor yang’s trial. if i’m piecing it all together right, the basic summary of what led to her disappearance goes like this:

she was a volunteer for assemblyman ko’s campaign, but upon discovering that he was spreading fake news about his opposition, dan reported him to the authorities (i’m guessing not just the police but also the media) and became a whistleblower. assemblyman ko tried to buy her off with money, but she refused, so he attacked her where she’s most vulnerable instead — by using her family.

i’m not completely sure about this (please feel free to correct me!) but it’s either byeol is (1) the twins’ half-sister, or (2) their stepsister? it’s so hard to tell, especially since korean terms can get lost in translation in the process (i watch on netflix, if that helps). but anyway, sol and dan’s mom married someone who was abusing her, and in exchange for dan’s silence (and her fleeing), the husband signs a contract that he would stop hurting his wife.

so that’s the backbone of dan’s story. however, this still doesn’t answer a lot of things, like where seo byungju or lee manho fits into the equation, the whereabouts of their mom’s ex-husband, or why dan was sent into boston in the first place.

i usually don’t like theorizing, but i do have one: there is an ivy league school located just outside of boston — harvard. (it’s technically in cambridge but you know, i’m taking liberties here.) professor yang said in passing one episode that he thought he saw dan when he went to the school for a seminar or a talk or something. could it be that assemblyman ko offered her an education at a top school in exchange for her silence? it could explain why she gave it up all so easily. what if she took that topnotch education as a chance to prepare, so that when she came back, she had much stronger leverage to take assemblyman ko down, given the knowledge and network of connections she’ll have earned in that school?

the theory’s plausible but i might be overestimating assemblyman ko’s kindness — unless he’s insanely desperate, he might not give a damn about dan’s education. it actually benefits him more if she stayed uninformed, but still. let me know what you think about it.

yoo seungjae

in this episode, we learned a little bit more about how yoo seungjae was able to hack into the professors’ laptops, and they also confirmed some of our previous speculations about him: that his wife yujeong was an ob gyn, and so was he, and that they were trying for a baby. unfortunately, i find it all to be a bit lacking in substance. i was hoping we could get down to the nitty-gritty of why he did what he did.

i say this for one important reason: i don’t know about you guys, but i would never make such a stupid mistake in undergrad, let alone in law school. seungjae has gone to med school, so we know that he knows the repercussions of his actions. why would he go to such lengths? sure, he found an opening, he was tempted, and he took it. but he didn’t just do it once, he did it multiple times, and those offenses add up (hacking, stealing exam papers, and cheating). surely he must know that something like this can ruin careers even before they even start, and not only would he get kicked out of the school, he would also get blacklisted from the industry once he implicates himself. so we understand why he’s so hesitant to testify (especially now that his wife is pregnant).

but why did he do that in the first place? we could say he’s insecure about his skills, but he’s survived med school. how much harder could law school be for him? i just don’t think that the payoff is worth the risk. what must be so important for yoo seungjae to do all of this for? what does he get in return if he successfully pulls it off and gets straight As during his entire time in law school? who is he doing for?

i hope it runs deeper than just wanting a ‘good future’ for him and his wife and their baby or something — because he could just as easily do that as a doctor. there must be another reason he went into law.

still, though, and this is just a personal opinion, even if i did find out his entire backstory, there’s no way i could ever defend him. we see in the show how his guilt builds up (from observing how kang sol A studies so well, to his conversation with jeon yeseul in the hospital), but at this point there is no more excusing what he did. not that i ever condoned it in the first place.

we’re still in the dark about a lot of things regarding yoo seungjae. hopefully by the next episode, we get something. but until then, he is still a shady, shady man to me.

kang sol B

her screen time in this episode was short, but i still wanted to highlight her because she is pretty much a ticking time bomb.

she’s in a tight spot right now because even if she testifies about having seen the sugar packet, the prosecutor will just twist the argument by saying she colluded with a murderer just to cover up her plagiarism.

and now, seo jiho needs her help, probably for something related to his case with prosecutor jin. in exchange, she puts pressure on him to ‘confirm’ that she didn’t plagiarize in middle school, since they were schoolmates and rivals.

there may be more to this plagiarism issue than meets the eye. who knows, we might find out later on that she actually didn’t plagiarize? but given what i know now, i have no reason to believe that she didn’t. i don’t blame her specifically for that, seeing as she has to pay for the consequences for something that her awful mom forced her to do. but now that the mess has been made, i want to see how she cleans it up.

kang sol B is a very elusive character to me. the scary thing about her is that she’s on no one’s side but her own. and that’s why i think she’s a ticking time bomb.

bonus: han joonhwi

so that’s all i have for the serious stuff. as a bonus, i’d like to talk about han joonhwi and his four (4) children jeon yeseul, seo jiho, kang byeol, and min bokgi.

one of my friends brought up how it’s so funny how he’s somehow just at the right place at the right time all the time. this happened when he ran into kang sol A when she was looking for yeseul (i still think they were on the phone with each other beforehand but this is just my shipper self talking — truthfully, if the focus was shifted towards that phone call without divulging who it was, i have a feeling it might be more important later on), and when seo jiho confronted prosecutor jin. adding his elevator conversation with kang sol B, i think it just solidified what we already know: han joonhwi is a very compassionate person. but he doesn’t sacrifice his own personality just to appease them — he recognizes that these individuals have agency, and he’s just giving them the little push they need to make them realize what they need to do.

i also felt the need to bring up kang byeol. the show does such a good job of ensuring that all the solhwi scenes that we get, no matter how indulgent and “fanservice-y” they might seem, actually have a deeper purpose. again, i could go on and on about what each solhwi scene has actually contributed to the development of the plot, which is exactly why i love them so much! because all of their scenes are so meaningful. but anyway, it’s nice to see han joonhwi care so much for his, ehem, future sister-in-law.

and for min bokgi — this scene was so short, but i absolutely loved it so much (i tend to pay attention to the throwaway scenes): min bokgi is going off about how yoo seungjae is acting weird, and he says to joonhwi, “hyung, you should call him.” and joonhwi responds with, “sure. eat your food.” it’s such a fatherly thing to do and it’s such a great contrast to bokgi’s dynamic with sol A, with whom he’s so loud and vibrant, moods that both match their personalities, but with joonhwi, who is more subdued, he’s like a little kid in need of rescue from an older brother, or even a dad. ah, i love it so much. min bokgi is such an underrated character. i wish he had more screen time. (if he doesn’t get a central ep, well, you guys know where i’m going with this, right? it means i’ll give it to him myself.)

so that’s it for now! i’m sorry i went on rambling again, but if there’s anything noteworthy in this post that you think is worth discussing, please do tell! if there’s anything that you found thought-provoking in the episode that i didn’t get to touch up on, let me know as well!

i personally don’t make any theories about the overarching plot myself, seeing as by the time the new episode comes out, we get fed information that renders the theory useless. still, that doesn’t mean we should stop coming up with our own ideas. sometimes, the theories are more interesting than the canon itself.

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calwrites · 4 years

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The Masked Singer (Spencer Reid x Reader)

Summary: The team has become obsessed with The Masked Singer, an extremely silly singing competition about trying to guess what celebrity is singing behind a mask. Imagine Spencer’s surprise when he hears a familiar voice.

Warnings: none (unless you count bad writing lol)

Word Count: 6.2k

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Spencer wasn’t quite sure how it happened, but it had. The team was obsessed with The Masked Singer. One morning, JJ, Prentiss, and Garcia had been talking about it before they had to brief a new case. Apparently they had found the first season online after they had too many glasses of wine and had made it through half the episodes in one night.

“It’s just trying to guess what famous person is singing while wearing a mask?” Morgan had asked. “That doesn’t sound very hard.”

“Yeah it should be obvious, but it’s not and that’s what makes it so addicting. They disguise their voices when they talk and they give you these cryptic clues about who they are.”

Emily nodded along to Penelope’s point. “Plus the judges’ guesses are everywhere, which doesn’t help.”

“Maybe you should watch, Morgan. Put those profiling skills to use,” JJ teased.

Derek was opening his mouth to respond when Hotch walked into the room. “Unfortunately, we have a case that needs our profiling skills.”

Spencer thought that would be the last of it. They spent the next few days tracking down another serial killer, and he was looking forward to relaxing on the jet on the way home. Maybe he’d read for a bit if no one wanted to play chess with him. What he wanted more than anything, though, was to be able to go home to Y/N. But he couldn’t.

His thoughts of you were interrupted by Penelope popping up on a screen. “I have a wonderful surprise for my favorite crime fighters.”

“Well don’t just tease us, baby girl,” Derek prompted when Garcia paused for dramatic effect. Instead of answering, Garcia started playing something on another screen.

“Oh there was a new episode on last night,” Emily said excitedly. “No one looked up who was unmasked, right?” After getting verbal confirmation that no one had looked up who was unmasked the previous night, Emily and JJ gave the rest of the team a short rundown of who had already been sent home.

“And people actually agree to do this?” Rossi asked in disbelief when they were done. The girls ignored him, focusing instead on the show. Rossi and Morgan shrugged at each other, but Spencer could tell that they were both a little curious about the show.

“I know Donny Osmond, and that is definitely Donny Osmond,” Rossi yelled approximately twenty minutes later. “Just look at how he walks.”

“I think it should be cheating for Rossi to guess when he might actually know some of these people,” Derek complained. Emily and JJ both nodded in agreement, so Derek turned to Hotch. “Hotch?”

“It’s cheating.” Hotch was trying to seem like he wasn’t also paying too much attention to the show, but he wasn’t doing a very good job. Rossi threw his hands up and started arguing his case, but JJ shushed him as the clues for the next performer started.

And just like that, the team had a new tradition. Garcia would play any episodes they missed when they were on the jet on the way home from a case. If they were without a case when there was a new episode, they would get together at someone’s house, usually Rossi’s, to watch it as it aired.

Emily and Derek were probably the best at guessing correctly, but Rossi sometimes had the advantage of actually knowing the celebrity behind the mask. Hotch and JJ blamed their incorrect guesses on not having time to stay up to date on celebrities because of their kids. Most of the time, Spencer didn’t even bother guessing. He had no idea who most of the celebrities were, but he enjoyed watching as the rest of the team got into trying to figure it out. Garcia had been banned from guessing after the team found out she was doing her own research. She had tried to argue that if they could use their super profiling powers, she could use her internet sleuthing powers, but the others weren’t having it.

Spencer had mentioned the show to you when you two were on the phone chatting before he went over to Rossi’s for the season 2 premiere. Curious about the show that managed to captivate and puzzle actual FBI profilers, you had decided to start watching on your own. Now, you and Spencer discussed the show whenever you had both watched the new episodes. It was nice having something new besides work to talk about. Of course, you, like Rossi, had the advantage of actually knowing some of the celebrities.

“How did you know it was Sherri Shepherd?” Spencer asked you after he got back from Rossi’s one night. “You said you knew it was her from the first time you heard her sing.”

You laughed at the frustration in your boyfriend’s voice. More than anything, you wanted to be cuddled up with him on the couch. But you were on opposite coasts, so imagining his furrowed brow would have to do. “I’ve met Sherri Shepherd. I’ve been on The View. Or did you not watch that interview?”

You were just teasing him. You knew that Spencer watched every interview you did. He was the most supportive boyfriend ever, even though you knew that some of the answers you had to give in interviews hurt him. Every time you were asked about dating, you had to give an answer like ‘No one special,’ ‘Not looking for anything right now,’ ‘Too busy to start anything.’ Truthfully, you were too busy to start a new relationship. You were constantly filming a new movie, doing press for a new movie, or getting ready for a new movie. Plus, you already had a boyfriend. Why would you want another one?

It was hard being away from Spencer so much, but you both knew that it was what was best for your career right now. You had met Spencer when you were a struggling actor who had just finished filming your first major movie. Now, you were an Oscar winner who was constantly getting offers. Spencer had told you that you needed to take advantage of those offers to really cement your place in Hollywood. You had both decided that the best way to keep each other safe, from both the media and psychopaths with grudges, was not to go public with your relationship.

----------------

It was over three years ago. You had just finished filming in DC. Most of the cast and crew had already gone back to LA or wherever they called home, but you had decided to stay in DC for a few more days to unwind before going back to your empty apartment in New York. It was probably about time to accept the fact that you should move out to LA, but you preferred the East Coast to the West.

You wandered through a park, when a cluster of chess tables caught your eye. More specifically, one man sitting at the chess tables. He looked to be about your age, but what made you watch him was the way he was playing three games at once. And winning them all. When the games were over, his opponents all grumbled as they walked away, leaving the man looking at the boards almost sadly.

You knew how to play chess, but you wouldn’t say that you were great. Still, you had to talk to this guy. So you sat down across from him, startling him as he replaced all of the pieces to their starting positions. He blinked at you in surprise instead of saying anything, so you took the lead, moving a pawn out first.

The two of you played in silence for a few turns. You smiled every time you caught him looking at you, and he blushed every time he was caught. He was cute. You quickly realized that you had no chance of winning, so you abandoned any sort of strategy and began moving pieces at random. You watched as he became more and more confused at your moves.

“It’s going to be a tie,” he said finally. His voice was lovely. “I mean, I could still win, but looking at our moves throughout the game, it seems most likely that it’s going to be a tie.”

“Is there any way I could win?” Truthfully, you hadn’t even been expecting a tie, but you wanted him to keep talking.

He shook his head. “No. You actually had a decent chance of winning until I took your rook four turns ago. If you had moved your queen instead, then I would have had to move my knight, leaving my king open to check.”

You blinked at the man for a moment. “Do you remember every move we made?”

He nodded shyly. “I have an eidetic memory.” You had no idea what that was, but it sounded impressive. At your blank look, he launched into an explanation of an eidetic memory and how it was different from a photographic memory. You weren’t really sure what he was saying, but you liked listening to him.

“So, it’s probably going to be a draw,” he finished shyly, painfully aware that he had just spent way too long explaining something to you that he hadn’t asked him to explain. To his surprise, you grinned at him, taking his breath away.

“Well, I was going to say that if I win you have to tell me your name, and if you win I have to tell you my name. Since it’s a draw, I guess we’ll both have to tell each other our names. I’m Y/N.” You stuck out your hand, but he looked at it awkwardly.

“Considering how many pathogens are passed during a handshake, it’s actually safer to kiss. I’m Spencer,” he continued quickly as a blush spread across your cheeks.

“Well it’s nice to meet you, Spencer. Honestly, I feel a little bit like I cheated. I started moving pieces randomly after about three turns.” Spencer looked shocked at your admission before he started laughing. “To make it up to you, can I buy you dinner tonight?” You were a little shocked at your own confidence, but thankfully Spencer seemed to like it.

“Only if I can buy you a coffee now.” You had agreed, obviously. The two of you spent the rest of the day together, getting to know each other. By dinner, it was like you had known each other forever. You had stayed in touch when you had to go back to New York. Spencer didn’t have a lot of free time, but you didn’t have any jobs at the moment, so you went down to DC whenever possible.

You and Spencer had only been officially dating for two weeks when your movie premiered. You weren’t ready for the media to scrutinize you two, and Spencer wasn’t ready for his coworkers to profile you, so you had agreed to keep your relationship on the down low.

Then you name blew up. The reviews for your movie, and your performance in particular, were glowing. People started suggesting an Oscar nomination for you. You started getting offers for roles your couldn’t refuse. So you packed up your life in New York and moved out to LA. You and Spencer talked all the time. He had even started texting you. Plus, you flew to DC whenever possible to be with him, even if it was just for a few hours. But it was still hard for you two to be apart for so long.

----------------

The season premiere of Masked Singer is tonight. Maybe you guys can watch it on the plane.

Spencer read your message and smiled. You knew it had been a tough case without him even having to say it. Sometimes he thought you could read his mind. You had a way of always knowing what he needed, even when he didn’t know.

A new season of their favorite show was just what the team needed. Spencer sent a quick text to Penelope to ask if it was possible for them to watch the show on the jet as it aired. She had responded not to underestimate her, which worried Spencer slightly.

The team sat in silence for a few minutes, the engine the only sound, until the screens came to life and the opening for The Masked Singer appeared. “I forgot this was coming back tonight,” JJ sighed in relief as the rest of the team smiled at the show. They settled in, ready to start trying to profile the celebrities in wacky costumes.

“And now, our very own royal contestant: The Queen,” the host said as a new clue package began to play. Spencer stiffened as The Queen began to talk. Despite the voice modification, Spencer could recognize the way you spoke. Your word choice. Your cadence. Even the way you walked onto the stage. Everything screamed Y/N. Spencer couldn’t help but smile at the mask you had chosen. It was like the top of the queen chess piece. Not the mention the tight white costume looked great on you. What would really confirm Spencer’s theory was your singing, so he waited with baited breath and hoped no one on the plane would notice his sudden heightened interest.

“If I should stay, I would only be in your way.” Spencer’s breath caught.

“Aww. Whitney,” Derek exclaimed. The rest of the team joined in with similar comments of surprise and joy as the music joined your voice on screen, but Spencer was too focused on you to notice them.

As he watched, it was like the cape on your shoulders turned into the blanket he kept on his couch that you had wrapped around yourself. The microphone became a spatula that you held to you mouth instead of using it to flip the pancakes, belting this very song much to his neighbors’ annoyance. It was a scene he was used to, having seen it many times.

“That was amazing. There’s no way you’re not winning this season. But I have no idea who you are,” one judge said when you were done. The other judges echoed similar thoughts before they all started throwing around some possible names. Spencer smiled to himself as his teammates were similarly confused. No one mentioned your name. And they probably never would.

You were very insecure about your singing voice, though Spencer often told you that you shouldn’t be. However, you never even mentioned singing in any interviews, and you didn’t sing in front of anyone that wasn’t Spencer.

“So what brought you onto The Masked Singer?” one judge asked.

“I’m actually a big fan of the show, but the real reason was because it’s my boyfriend’s favorite show. I wanted to surprise him.” Your voice shook nervously as you spoke. Spencer couldn’t tell if it was because you had stage fright or because you had publicly announced that you had a boyfriend for the first time. Not that anyone knew it was you. You and Spencer had been talking about going public with your relationship for a few months now, but you had both always found reasons to keep putting it off. Spencer knew what you were doing. Once you were unmasked, you would have to acknowledge that you had a boyfriend.

Of course, some part of Spencer’s mind reminded him that all of this was filmed in advance. There were people somewhere who knew that you were The Queen and that you had a boyfriend. Spencer just hoped that the NDAs that they had signed were enough to keep that from getting out before the episode aired. Not that he had time to worry about that. You were still talking to the judges.

“Do you think he’s going to be surprised when you’re unmasked eventually? Not that that’s going to happen any time soon.”

“Definitely not. He probably knew it was me the minute I walked on the stage. Plus, he has to hear me sing all the time when I’m home.” It made Spencer’s heart soar hearing you refer to his little apartment as home. You spent more time in your Beverly Hills house than his apartment, but whenever you talked about going home, Spencer knew you were talking about getting back to DC. Getting back to him.

As the rest of the team continued to discuss guesses about your identity, Spencer pulled out his phone to text you.

The Queen sounded amazing.

Spencer knew that, wherever you were, you would smile when you read that text.

----------------

Pretty soon, the new episodes of The Masked Singer were the highlight of Spencer’s week. He was always antsy when they couldn’t watch an episode when it aired, desperate to make sure that you hadn’t been eliminated yet. He loved watching as your confidence in your voice and you stage presence grew.

Surprisingly, it was after you did a cover of Heart of Glass by Blondie that the switch flipped. Spencer could pinpoint the moment it happened. Your performance became electric and there seemed to be a pull, even in the jet, that drew everyone to you.

Spencer had seen it happen before. About a year after you had started dating, you and Spencer had met up in New York for a weekend. Spencer was in awe of the way you managed to seem completely normal, allowing the eyes of all the tourists to slide right over you, despite the fact that your face was on a billboard in Times Square.

The two of you were eating lunch in a pizza restaurant. Spencer had wanted to do research to find the best place to eat, but you had pulled him into a random place. Although he hated to admit it, the pizza was really good.

It was easy to hear the conversation of the two girls, high school students if Spencer had to guess, in the nearly empty restaurant. Spencer saw the look of joy on your face when you realized that the girls were talking about your movie. You both had to smile that they were now talking about how obsessed they were with you when they had walked past you a minute ago without even realizing it.

You looked at your boyfriend with an unspoken question in your eye. Spencer nodded his head at the girls, letting you know that he didn’t mind if you went over to talk to them. As you stood up, it was like the air around you changed. There was no difference in the way you held yourself. If Spencer believed in things like vibes, he would have said that you just started giving off a different vibe. Suddenly, everyone’s eyes were on you.

You spoke to the girls for a few minutes before taking some pictures with them and returning to your table. You seemed unaware of the effect you had on everyone, but Spencer couldn’t shake a strange feeling. It was like for the first time he had seen Y/N Y/L/N instead of his girlfriend Y/N. When you finally got Spencer to tell you what was bothering him later that night, you had confided in him that you often felt intimidated when he talked about his job.

The two of you had grown past that as your relationship went on, but it was strange seeing the effect that you had on his friends.

The closest he got to spilling your secret was the next week. As you got closer to the finale, the competition began heating up. In an effort to prove that you were more than just a good voice, you had chosen 1,2 Step, complete with your own twist on the iconic, according to you since Spencer didn’t really know, choreography from the music video.

“She has some serious stamina,” Emily commented as you got through the rap flawlessly despite all of the dancing you were doing. Spencer knew all about your stamina.

“And look at how her body moves. She can dance.” Spencer’s fist clenched at Derek’s comment. He knew that Derek didn’t mean anything by it. Your body moved fluidly through the dance. It was easy to see in the tight costume you wore. But something seemed to burn inside Spencer as he watched Derek watch you. He wanted nothing more than to tell Derek that last weekend he had used his stamina to keep you up until the early hours of the morning.

But Spencer stopped himself. You had said that you had a plan for telling people about your relationship. He just had to wait for you to put that plan into motion.

The judges were still clueless about your true identity, though Spencer still thought that all of the clues should have made it extremely obvious. Still, it was amusing listening to their guesses.

“I think-no, I know who this is.” Spencer settled in, ready to hear Ken Jeong’s latest wild guess. Last week he had been sure that you were Leona Lewis and the week before it was Mariah Carey. “This is Y/N Y/L/N.”

Spencer tried not to react as everyone in the jet, and on the screen, shook their heads at Ken’s guess.

“Y/N doesn’t sing,” one judge told Ken as another said, “Y/N’s not a singer. No way.”

“But Y/N won an Oscar for her role as a queen. Plus, and stay with me here, in the clue package we’ve seen things about agents. She has an agent, who gets her roles and probably got her on this show, so welcome to the show Y/N Y/L/N.”

“The Queen is in a long term relationship, and Y/N isn’t dating anyone,” one judge pointed out. The other two judges nodded along, so Ken gave up his fight. Spencer realized that, if anything, Ken guessing it was you would convince people that it couldn’t possibly be you.

“Hey, Spence, didn’t you have a little celebrity crush on Y/N Y/L/N?” JJ asked as the commercials started. The rest of the team turned to look at him. Spencer tried to hide his blush, but the smirk on Derek’s face told him it wasn’t working.

“Yeah,” Emily continued, “You go to see all of her movies. Multiple times.”

Spencer tried to shrug nonchalantly. “I just think Y/N is a good actor.” Luckily, the team soon lost interest in teasing Spencer, so he could focus on texting you about your performance.

----------------

“Thank goodness we finished in time to catch it.” Everyone nodded in agreement to Emily’s statement. They had just finished another case earlier that day and had made it to the jet in time to watch the finale as it aired. The team settled into their seats and quickly began sorting out their bets about who was who and who would win.

“Reid, you want in?” Rossi asked. So far, Spencer had abstained from all of the betting about the show they did. But now he wanted to have a little fun with his team.

“I think The Queen will win.” Most people nodded. That was a popular opinion. “And I think The Queen is Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Oh c’mon, kid. You’re just as bad as Ken,” Derek complained, but he was smiling. Spencer felt slightly guilty. He knew that he was at least partially right. He had been tempted to ask you whether you win, but held himself back. There was no doubt that you signed some NDAs, so you really weren’t supposed to tell him.

Spencer had a hard time caring about the other performances. He was looking forward to hearing you again and to seeing the faces of his friends when he was right about your identity. Finally, the other two finalists had gone and it was your turn. Unsurprisingly, your performance was amazing. The best of the night in Spencer’s slightly biased opinion.

Spencer was so relieved when third place was announced and it wasn’t you. Some celebrity he didn’t know took their mask off. There was some exchanging of money among his friends. But then it was time to announce the winner.

“And so, the winner of this season of The Masked Singer, who will go home today with The Golden Mask trophy is,” the host paused for dramatic effect. Spencer had to remind himself to breathe. “The Queen!”

Spencer breathed a sigh of relief as he watched you jump up and down onstage before being ushered to a throne where you would watch the runner up take off their mask. It was another celebrity Spencer didn’t know and didn’t care about.

“I guessed Miley Cyrus when you sang Jolene a few episodes ago. I don’t think that’s right, but it’s the best guess I have, so I’ll go with Miley,” one judge said when it was time for their final guesses. This was it. You were about to be unmasked. Spencer wasn’t quite sure why he was so nervous. You had won! And he already knew that it was you under the mask.

The other three judges threw out their final guesses, but no one was very sure of themselves. Except Ken, who confidently said, “It’s gotta be Michelle Obama,” earning lots of laughs from everyone watching.

“Well, let’s see who it is. Take it off. Take it off.” The host started the chant, which the audience and judges quickly took off as you pretended to struggle to take off your mask. Spencer found himself joining in with the rest of the team as they chanted too.

And finally, you removed your mask and Spencer could see your beautiful face. As great as you looked standing on the stage with your hair and makeup perfectly done, Spencer couldn’t wait until you were back home in a week and he could see you huddled on the couch wearing pajamas.

Chaos erupted, both on the screen and on the plane. It seemed like no one could believe that it was you. The rest of the team was too busy yelling in shock that they didn’t notice the look of absolute adoration Spencer was giving you.

“This might have been the most shocking reveal in Masked Singer history,” the host said into his microphone as the judges and audience began to calm down. “I mean, no one even knew you sing, Y/N. Why did you decide to come on The Masked Singer?”

You laughed uneasily into the microphone. Spencer could tell that you were feeling equal amounts of joy and nervousness. It was understandable, he thought. You had just won a singing competition despite having never sang in public before.

“I’ve always loved to sing, but I’ve never had much confidence in my voice. I’d love more than anything to be in a big movie musical. I guess I was hoping that this would be a good place to build my confidence.”

“You have an absolutely amazing voice,” one judge said. You ducked your head shyly, smiling slightly at the ground before looking back up at the judges. “I think after people see your performances you’ll have no problem doing a musical. I mean, you tackled so many different genres, and you sounded amazing doing all of them.”

You thanked the judge before turning to the others. A smile remained on your lips as they all congratulated you, but Spencer could tell from the way you kept shifting your weight that you were uncomfortable with all of the attention.

“Wait so you said that one reason you did this show was that it’s your boyfriend’s favorite show?” Spencer’s heart fluttered as he watched your smile grow at the mention of him. “That really threw me. I didn’t know you were dating anyone.” The other judges agreed.

“Yeah my boyfriend and I have been together for over two years. We’ve just kept it a secret.”

“Well the secret is out now.”

“You still don’t know who he is though,” you pointed out. The judges laughed and agreed.

“Whoever is dating her is a lucky man,” Rossi commented as the show wrapped up. Spencer tried not to let his heart skip a beat. What would his team think when they found out about you two?

----------------

“I still can’t believe that The Queen was Y/N Y/L/N,” JJ sighed. The team was in the elevator on the way up to their floor. They all needed to drop some stuff off, but Hotch had told them that no one was allowed to stay late tonight. They needed to get home and relax.

“I can’t believe she managed to have a secret boyfriend for over two years without the media finding out,” Emily added. “You know Garcia is probably already trying to uncover the mystery man.”

The team laughed as the elevator doors opened. Spencer made a mental note to warn you about Garcia. He had already texted you to congratulate you, but he missed you. You were supposed to finish filming in a few days and then you’d be back home in about a week. Still, Spencer was a little bummed that you would miss your third anniversary, which was actually tomorrow.

“Hey, Pretty Boy, who’s at your desk?” Derek asked.

It took Spencer a moment to really understand what he was seeing. It didn’t quite make sense in his brain. Every time you got home, you would immediately shower (to wash off the airplane germs), throw on one of Spencer’s old sweaters and some leggings, and curl up on the couch with whatever book Spencer had left laying around until he got home. And now here you were, wet hair and all, sitting at his desk. He barely had time to admire the look of concentration on your face as you tapped at your phone, probably texting your agent.

“Wait, is that-” But Spencer didn’t let Emily finish.

“Y/N!” he called as he pushed through the doors into the bullpen.

Your head shot up at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice, a huge smile growing on your face. You dropped your phone onto the desk (your agent could wait) and rushed over to him. Completely ignoring the fact that his team was a few steps behind him, you threw your arms around Spencer, wrapping your legs around him too when he picked you up. He began to spin you around, causing you to shriek in glee.

Finally, he put you down. You started to move away, but he surprised you by putting his hands on either side of your face and connecting your lips. You smiled into the kiss, so happy to finally be back with your boyfriend.

“Does anyone else feel like they’re missing something?” You two broke apart at the sound his coworker’s voice. You smiled shyly at the man who had just spoke, Rossi you assumed, based on Spencer’s stories about his team.

“Everyone, I’d like you meet Y/N. My girlfriend.” The team looked between Spencer, who was looking at you like you were the only thing that mattered, and you. You could feel the blush on your face, but that didn’t stop your own goofy love-struck grin.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you guys,” you finally said. “I’ve heard so much about you all.”

“We can’t say the same,” the blonde, JJ, slowly replied. You could feel Spencer shift uncomfortably beside you, before he pulled you even closer to his side.

“That’s my fault,” you said before Spencer could say anything. “I wanted to keep our relationship a secret so it didn’t get out to the media.”

“That’s not entirely true,” Spencer corrected you quickly. “I wanted to make sure that Y/N didn’t get targeted by anyone because of my job. She didn’t want anyone targeting me because of her job. It was a mutual decision.”

“And you couldn’t even tell us?” JJ asked. You could tell, even without knowing her, that she was hurt. You knew that she was Spencer’s best friend, so it was understandable. In fact, every face was looking at the two of you with some mixture of confusion, surprise, and hurt.

“I didn’t want to risk it,” Spencer said uncomfortably. “I figured that the more people who knew, the more likely it would be to get out. Y/N already had to tell some people, so I didn’t want to add to the list.”

“I only told my agent, my assistant, and my security team. And I only told my security team because they thought they caught Spencer trying to break into my house one day.”

Spencer’s face went bright red as he remembered that failed surprise. “I think we need to hear that story sometime.” The rest of the team quickly agreed with Prentiss. It seemed, for now at least, they would let the whole secret thing go.

“What are you doing here?” Spencer asked suddenly. “Not that I’m not happy to see you. I am. You’re supposed to be in LA filming.”

You grinned mischievously at him. “I managed to get the filming schedule rearranged a bit, so I could finish early. I shot my last scene this morning, then went straight to the airport. I wanted to surprise you, so we could finally spend an anniversary together.”

“When do you leave again?” The softness of Spencer’s voice broke your heart. He was preparing himself for you usual answer. You’d be here for a week or two and then have to leave again. But not this time.

“Not for months.” A smile of disbelief spread across Spencer’s face. “I’ll have to go to LA and New York for a few days here and there, but nothing long term. I want to be here with you.”

The two of you had, once again, forgotten that Spencer’s team was standing in front of you. It was so easy to get wrapped up in one another when you were both used to being alone together.

“Did I hear something about an anniversary?” Rossi asked, shaking the two of you out of your little bubble.

“It’ll be three years tomorrow.” You grinned up at your boyfriend. It was the first anniversary you would get to spend together.

“Let me host a dinner for you,” Rossi offered. “I’ll make one of my famous meals. We can break out some nice wine that I’ve been saving for a special occasion.”

Spencer began to shake his head, but you grabbed his arm and gasped. “Spencer please,” you begged. “You know I’ve always wanted to go to a dinner at Rossi’s place. You only talk about them all the time. Please. Please. Please.” Spencer finally gave in to your pleading, nodding reluctantly.

You hugged him in excitement before moving to properly introduce yourself to his friends. As you chatted with them, you could hear the clicking of approaching heels.

“My favorite crime fighters will be unhappy to know that I haven’t been able to find anything about Y/N Y/L/N’s secret boyfriend.” You looked up at the brightly dressed woman, definitely Garcia, who had just walked into the bullpen.

“Actually, baby girl, I think we figured that one out ourselves.” Garcia looked up from her phone at Derek’s words. Her eyes widened as she saw you standing among her coworkers.

“Wha-? Who? How? What?” she stammered. In response, you grabbed Spencer’s hand, pulling him closer to you. He wrapped an arm around you, grinning apologetically at Garcia. “Spencer Reid, I would be so mad at you if I wasn’t so happy about meeting Y/N.” Without wasting another second, she rushed over and hugged you. You laughed at the look of jealously on Spencer’s face as you were taken from his arms. This would take some getting used to.

----------------

You smiled happily, watching Spencer’s friends laugh at a story you had just finished. “I think this was a much better anniversary than burning dinner and then ordering takeout would have been,” you whispered to your boyfriend. Rossi’s food had not disappointed. Nor had his wine. You were feeling comfortably warm as you cuddled up with your boyfriend.

“It’s what we would have done after dinner that I was looking forward to.” You tried not to shiver at Spencer’s words.

“There will be plenty of time for that,” you reminded him. “I’m glad I’m getting to know your friends. They’re so important to you.”

“I’m glad they’re getting to know you. I think you all will be friends. That might not be good for me though.” You laughed at the embarrassed look on your boyfriend’s face. His friends had plenty of embarrassing stories about him, so you had been swapping stories all night.

It was easy for the team to see how absolutely in love the two of you were. Even if they hadn’t been profilers, the looks you two shared were so obvious. What had surprised them was how open Spencer was to your touch. In fact, he was the one initiating most your contact. You had been prepared to control yourself for the sake of Spencer’s professionalism, but he didn’t seem to have the same thought. Any time he could, he would grab your hand or wrap his arms around you.

That was how you had gotten to be cuddled up next to him. After dinner, the party had moved outside. You had been heading for a seat in between Emily and Penelope when Spencer’s hand had reached out and grabbed yours, pulling you onto the outdoor sofa beside him. Not that you were complaining. So you had stayed like that the rest of the night, leaning comfortably into your boyfriend’s side.

A couple weeks later, you posted a picture that Penelope had taken of the two of like that onto your social medias. It was time to introduce the world to your boyfriend.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fic #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #matthew gray gubler #mgg #mgg fic #spencer reid x you #calwrites #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction

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lilydalexf · 4 years

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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Elizabeth Rowandale

Elizabeth Rowandale has 16 stories at Gossamer spanning from 1995 to 2012, plus she has more at AO3 (other fandoms too). She's been giftng the fandom with stories for a long time! I've talked about some of my favorites of her stories before, including Hallways and Water's Edge. Big thanks to Elizabeth for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Yes and no. When I find myself suddenly caught up in a fandom that has already lived its glory days (which happens a lot, I'm habitually late to the party), I am always ravenous for fic written during the original run - it always has a different perspective and voice and it's like a little bit of the experience captured in time -- so I can understand how others would be interested in my past. That said, some of my early stuff is pretty awful. LOL. I have left it online for two reasons: 1. Nostalgia, 2. I know there are some fics I've read in my life that may not have been the best written in a literary sense, but just had something magical about them that fed exactly what I needed. And I would hate it if the author took down that work and I could never find it again (which has happened). So I try to respect that same sentiment should it appear in one of my readers. I'd say by about 6th or 7th season of the original run, my work became presentable. :) My largest X-Files work ("Water's Edge") was begun during the original run and completed about a year after the show ended. That one I definitely still claim as my work, even though there's certainly stuff I would fix if I were writing it now.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

So many things! Let's start with my husband. :D I met the love of my life on the X-Files newsgroup in spring of 1995. We were married a year later, and we are still married 24 years later and have a 20 year old daughter. One of the most important friendships of my life came from being part of this fandom - she began as an "Edgehead" during the original posting of "Water's Edge". The fandom brought me my family, friends, and made me believe in myself as a writer and, in some ways, as a person worth being friends with, for the first time in my life. It's kind of crazy, really, how different my life would be without it. The experience was not without its flaws. There was a lot of judgementalism, a lot of cliquishness, a lot of snobbery. I was condemned almost as much as I was welcomed. But in the end it was all worth the life experience.

As far as the fic itself, X-Files was my first real experience with fanfic, and it thoroughly spoiled me for all other fandoms forever, because the sheer VOLUME of professional quality work being put out there was mind-boggling. I expected all fandoms to be like this, and the fact is this is extremely rare and precious. I think I could read X-Files fic for the rest of my life and never run out of pieces worth reading.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I started out primarily on a.t.x.c.. Then progressed to mailing lists (especially Scullyfic/E-muse!), and later was very involved on The Haven. The Haven was quite a magical experience.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

I think I answered this by over-babbling on the question above. :D But ultimately, I think I would have to say my belief in literature as a tool to connect people on an intimate level that almost nothing else can. To give people a brief moment of sharing their precious internal worlds and inviting someone else to step into it with them.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

Really, it was inevitable. It has all the classic tropes that have always spoken to me - Supernatural horror, law enforcement partners, partner UST, misfits as heroes, haunting soundtrack. But amusingly enough, my first impression of it was negative. My mother and I had been religiously watching "Sightings", a FOX reality show (before "reality shows" were a thing) on the supernatural. Then that got cancelled and they replaced it with some show that was about fictionalized encounters with and investigations of the paranormal. And we were like WTF we don't want that, we want real investigations and evidence! So I didn't watch it out of protest. :D Then one night I stumbled upon it when I had nothing to do and watched "Lazarus". I thought the show was okay, but that I could never really get invested in it because there was no real chemistry between Mulder and Scully (yes, you can laugh me out of the room now :D). But the thing is, you can't FIND the significant moments in that episode unless you're already embroiled in their world. Like when Mulder calls her "Dana" on the phone and we all know he's panicking big time -- this was my first episode, so I assumed he always called her Dana, no big. Some time passed, then I saw Conduit. And Tooms. And I started to get really sucked in. Then I saw Genderbender. Now, if you know me at all, you know since I was about 6 years old, my life has revolved around my current muse. I get obsessed with a certain actress/performer/character, and that becomes my lens for the whole world (yes, at 6 it was Lynda Carter as Diana Prince). I have always moved from one Muse to the next, and the few times I've been without a focus person I'm very untethered and unproductive. So, I'd been in one of my longest dry spells following my Madonna and Vivien Leigh obsessions, mostly focusing on reading Dean Koontz books, when X-Files came along. And this obsession was unique in that I can actually pinpoint the moment I fell. I was sitting in my bedroom watching Genderbender, and they were outside the general store and Scully had just been touched by Brother Andrew and was a little tripped out and staring after the horse and cart when Mulder stepped up to see if she was okay, and...I actually felt myself falling for Gillian Anderson. And there was this moment of both elation and bittersweetness, because I knew how all-consuming my obsessions could be and the emotional rollercoaster they could entail (especially when I was younger, I'm a little better armored now :)). But I have no control over when and where they hit. But I knew by the end of that episode that I was off on another wild ride of the muse. :)

So, the short answer is -- Gillian Anderson. :D

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

Truthfully, I can't experience anything without writing fanfic in my head. I've been doing it in one form or another my whole life, I just didn't know until the X-Files (and the internet) how many other people were like me!! I started writing X-Files fic before I was even online. In fact, The X-Files was the reason I got my first internet service - because the fandom was moving online and I didn't want to miss out. I read my first fanfic in the Unofficial X-Files Fanclub monthly zine and it fascinated me. I wrote my first X-Files fic, a first season story called "Silent Lines", before I had ever been on the internet, and I had it published in that same fanclub newsletter. (I was already writing original fiction, hoping to make writing my career). Later, after I had joined the internet XF community, I wrote a post-ep to "Irresistible" that I posted online. That was my first online fic. Some time after (and a few more fics down the road) when all the rights to "Silent Lines" had reverted to me, I posted that online as well.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

I dabble now and then. :) When the reboot came about, I came back to the old stomping grounds and reconnected with some of the Old Guard. I still have a fair amount of pretty Mulder and Scully on my Twitter feed, and I continue to follow all Gillian Anderson's new projects. But it's not my primary focus at the moment. (My serial monogamist muse has another lover this year. :))

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

Several (Stargate, Sanctuary, Xena, Battlestar Galactica, Once Upon a Time, etc.). As I mentioned before, almost none of them had anywhere NEAR the quality and quantity of fanfic The X-Files has to offer. The closest I experienced was the Xena fandom. There are some AMAZING Uber fics and Conqueror fics, many of which went on to be published as original novels. Some fandoms were colder and more cruel than The X-Files. Some were warmer and more generous. I was most prolific during my years in the Stargate fandom. I wrote something like 80 fics. It was crazy. I don't think I'll ever be that prolific again.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Just from anything? From television Dana Scully, Stella Gibson, Laura Roslin, Sharon Raydor, Regina Mills. I love powerful women with scars. Kind women at heart who will fight for what they believe in and whom they love. Mothers - whether in actuality or at heart. I love women who prove strength and power can be completely synonymous with femininity.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

A couple of months ago my husband and daughter and I finished a complete X-Files rewatch (original series and movies), taking our daughter through it for the first time. It was awesome to re-experience it all through her eyes. She grew up hearing about it, but had never seen more than a handful of episodes (and, sadly, the reboot LOL).

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

Every now and then I indulge in X-Files fic, yes. Sometimes new stuff, most often revisiting old favorites.

I definitely read in my current fandoms. For a few years I didn't, but lately I've been at it again. Right now my primary muse is Mary McDonnell, so I'm obsessing over her various roles through the years. Been reading fic for "Major Crimes", "Dances with Wolves", "Battlstar Galactica", "Passion Fish", and "ER" (specifically pertaining to Eleanor Carter).

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Of course. :) Mish's "No Quarter Given" will always own my soul. [Lilydale note: It’s a 3-part story: 1, 2, 3.] "Black Hole Season" by Penumbra, "Above Rubies" by Rachel Howard, "Blinded by White Light" by DashaK, "Sounds of Silence" by GirlGone, "Blood Oranges" by Syntax6, "Absolute Zero" and "Never Enough" by August. So many more.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

From X-Files, I can't really choose between "Water's Edge" which took the most out of me) and "Bridges" (which I wrote just a couple of year ago). I wrote them from very different places and I am proud of what I accomplished in each case. YMMV.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

Never say never? :D I still feel badly that I left the sequel to "Water's Edge", "High Tide", hanging after posting just a few chapters. I never should have started it. My muse jumped ship to another fandom, and there was really nothing I could do. And I'm such a different person now, I don't know if what I would write now is what people who loved the first book would actually want to hear. I came back with the reboot and wrote "Bridges" and that largely said everything I needed to say about what happened to Mulder and Scully after "I Want to Believe". So, realistically, that was probably my XF writing swan song. But I would never say I won't ever post another fic. As the saying goes, "It all comes back to the X-Files". (And, yes, there's PLENTY of half-finished fic on my hard drive. LOL)

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I do. Now that my kid is grown, I'm trying to seriously pursue a professional writing career from here forward. And I do still dabble writing fic in my current fandoms. Right now there is a Major Crimes fic sitting on my hard drive waiting for me to work up the nerve to post it.;)

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Once I'm inside my POV character's head, the narrative in my brain won't shut up. I flesh out and what-if everything. I fill in every moment that doesn't appear on screen. I talk to myself a lot and live in my head and sometimes scare family members. I get some sort of orgasmic high from things like seeing Laura Roslin grasp and tuck into her own hair when she's crying while my inner voice screams "OMG IT'S CANON SHE SELF-SOOTHES WITH HER HAIR!!!!!" I maintain a surprisingly sane outer presentation for the crazy obsessed artist I am within.

What's the story behind your pen name?

When I began removing my real name from the internet (for you young folks, we all started out using our Real Names and building our virtual houses on Geocities, then got warned from everywhere of the scary scary place that is cyberspace and started NEVER EVER using our real names, then Facebook came along and now everyone and their dog is out there with their real names, and Gen X is still going WTF ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!??), I simply chose what I found to be a pretty last name (Rowandale). Elizabeth is my real name. Along the way, when I had started to feel confined by expectations for my writing based on my reputation, I challenged myself to be more honest in what I wanted to write by using the mental trick of a pen name no one knew was actually me, and invented "Rowan Darkstar" (the darker "edgier" side of Elizabeth Rowandale). "Rowan" was taken from Rowan Mayfair in Anne Rice's "The Witching Hour", my favorite novel at the time. Later, I went public with the fact I was Rowan Darkstar, and when I moved into my next fandom, I did so with that as my primary name. I have written in most of my fandoms as either Rowan Darkstar or LadyRowan with the exception of anything else Gillian Anderson related wherein I carried over the Elizabeth Rowandale since there were many crossover readers from X-Files.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

Many of them do, yes. For many years my mother was my primary beta reader!! Sadly, she now suffers from dementia and can no longer fill that role. My best friend came into my life through my Stargate and Sanctuary fic, so there's no hiding from her, and she is now my beta.:) My husband met me in the fandom. So...yeah, most of my close friends know.:) In my 'other life' as an Army wife (now retired) and suburban Mom not so much.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

The most reliable place is probably AO3. It doesn't have much of my older stuff, but I generally post anything new there. I'm Rowan_D on Twitter.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files?

No, you can't be red/green colorblind and be a field agent for the FBI. No, soul groups don't work that way, Scully would have been his lover in some lifetimes, too. Yes, someone with Scully's education and deliberate precision of language WOULD say "for whom?" and not "for who?", you are quite right to cringe. No, you can't drive to Quantico and back to downtown DC and have it still be morning. And lastly -- The Kansas town after which they modeled "The Rain King" is NOT brown, it is NOT flat, it HAS a regional airport, and the residents are educated and intelligent. I lived there at the time -- There was a whole layout in the local paper about the crew visiting for "authenticity." I still marvel at how that is even possible.

(Posted by Lilydale on August 25, 2020)

#new post #old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #elizabeth rowandale #xf fanfic author interviews

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aot-snk-4238 · 4 years

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SNK Meta Part 2: Ymir

In my previous post, I talked about my feelings regarding Historia's character this final arc. Now I'm going to talk about Ymir, her relationship with Historia, and my feelings about her send-off.

Was Ymir a good character?

In my eyes, yes. When she was first introduced, it was clear that she had feelings for Historia, making her one of the only canon queer characters in the series (assuming Historia reciprocated those feelings, which I'm pretty sure she did). She also appeared very snarky and cynical, but us readers came to learn later on that there was a much softer, sensitive side to her deep down that Historia would be the first to witness. These revelations, including her backstory, helped flesh out her character in a way that made her very interesting and mysterious for me. I especially loved how sharp and intuitive she was. I'm going to quote the wiki on this part, because I think it does a great job explaining her impressive observant abilities. "Ymir was extremely perceptive and could discern the nature of the people around her with alarming accuracy, such as Historia's martyrdom mentality, Reiner's split personality disorder, and Sasha Blouse's desire to look good in front of her peers by hiding her native accent and developing an extremely formal way of speaking. Due to her experiences and belief in self-pride, she tended to rudely criticize people for being untrue to themselves. Furthermore, Ymir was very reasonable, as she knew what to do during her kidnapping situation and reconsidered her options to accomplish her goals." I also enjoyed her interactions with other characters besides Historia. Take Connie, for example. When he lamented over the possibility of his mother being stuck as a mindless titan, Ymir tried to distract him, albeit not in the most appropriate way (ch. 38).

Connie complained about this behavior later on, but Historia defended her, explaining that she was only trying to stray his thoughts from that traumatic discovery. There were a few more moments between these two that were fun to see as well.

😂😂😂. Ymir's looking at him like, "You ruined it, Connie..."

I love the way she pats him on the head. Knowing how much taller Connie's gotten I don't think she'd be able to do that anymore.

This becomes one of the many times that Connie calls her "ugly" when she's in her titan form. Too bad she couldn't talk very well as a titan or else she probably would have had a smartass remark to throw back at him. It's looking back on scenes like this where I wish we could have gotten more out of these two. You can tell she cared for Connie and I know he also cared in his own way.

We only saw her together with Eren once when Reiner and Bertholdt captured them, but it was very interesting to see their perceptions of each other.

Eren found Ymir to be mysterious and wasn't sure if he could trust her, which isn't surprising considering this was the only time they ever spoke to each other. One detail that he couldn't miss, however, was Ymir's undying determination to protect Historia, a goal they would both come to share later on. Meanwhile, Ymir couldn't trust Eren because she found him to be too reckless and hot-headed.

These were my favorite qualities from Ymir, although to this day I still question the rationality of leaving Historia behind considering the situation she's currently in. Historia herself called her an idiot after reading her goodbye letter. Now that I've covered my reasons for liking Ymir as a character, let's move on to her relationship with Historia.

Ymir and Historia

I've loved these two together since the beginning for their complex and amusing dynamic. On the surface, you had the selfish, confrontational tomboy and the girly, kind and beautiful goddess. But underneath were two young women who were dealt a dirty hand early in their life and lead empty lives as a result until they found each other. Their story arcs throughout the Clash of the Titans arc were beautiful and complimentary, and it's part of the reason why it's actually my favorite story arc in the series. Everything from Ymir seeing through Historia's charade and urging her to live her life with pride to Historia telling Ymir her real name and the two of them fighting side by side in chapter 49 was some of the most empowering moments for me and I will forever cherish those parts of the story.

Ymir's departure

And now the part I've been most excited to talk about! Ymir's glorious, memorable and emotional departure.

Her ending...was not what I expected it to be. She left Historia at the very last second and gave herself away to the enemy because she felt guilty for something that was not her fault. Now as we know, Ymir is selfless at heart and she felt indebted to Reiner and Bertholdt for inadvertently helping her return to her human form after 60 years of wandering the earth as a mindless titan. She also decided that Historia might be safe after all after learning that Eren possessed the coordinate. I understand all of that, but what I don't understand is...well...everything else.

This was Ymir's last real appearance. We see that Ymir has willingly chosen to accompany Reiner and Bertholdt back to Marley to give up her titan powers at the cost of her life. Many people weren't so sure if that was truly the last of her though, because her death was not explicitly confirmed for a long time. We spend the next 33 chapters hoping to get something more, and then this happens...

A glimmer of hope. Finally there's a real chance we'll hear from her again, and it's got a lot of people buzzing with excitement. Sure enough, we finally get to see what's in that letter a few chapters later and are given Ymir's backstory. Here's where the disappointing part comes, though. Ymir makes it clear at the beginning of her letter that she will be dead by the time Historia receives it, meaning that this is the only goodbye they're gonna get. The last time they saw each other, Ymir wasn't even in human form. Instead of a proper goodbye, all we get is a short letter. The anime even tried to fix this by giving us Ymir's backstory earlier, but by doing that, her letter was cut short by a lot. All that was really left was, "Hi babe, sorry I left you like that. Oh well, I'm about to die anyway. Sorry we couldn't get married." And then this happened:

Historia touches Ymir's letter and is suddenly bombarded with visions of Ymir's past, including her chained up and about to be eaten. That is definitely not what happened in the manga and its honestly very confusing to me. How was she able to see all of that just by touching the letter? I get that she has royal blood and was able to access memories when she touched Eren, but Eren is a human who just so happens to possess the founding titan. The letter is just a piece of paper. Also, I'm guessing the last thing Historia saw was Ymir chained up so that there will be no need to bring her up again like Reiner and Porco did in chapter 93. I don't blame the anime team for making that change because I'll be honest, when we saw that one panel of her in her death chamber it felt very out of nowhere and I had a hard time concentrating on the rest of the chapter after that. So here are my main problems with her death:

1. It was off-screen

If I recall correctly, Ymir is the only major character in the series whose death was off-screen. All we got were her final moments, and there wasn't even any dialogue. That part especially bothered me because you can see that Ymir and Porco are looking at each other and Ymir's mouth is slightly open, implying that she's speaking. But what was she saying? You seriously don't mean to tell me that they both just sat there and stared at each other the whole time. She must have had some last words, but for some reason we never got to know what they were. At one point I even thought that Historia and Porco might cross paths at some point and he would be able to give her closure that way but no. No closure, just a last minute goodbye letter and a glimpse of her final moments that I now consider completely useless and unnecessary because we never got more out of it. I mean really, we even got closure and an on-screen death for Marco for crying out loud. Why give him that kind of attention and not Ymir? Not to mention one of the more recent guidebooks. Her character has the diceased sticker and it talks about how she went back to Marley with Reiner and Bert, but that's it. Not even the guidebook makes it clear what happened next. Yeah she died, but did anything else happen before then? That's what I wish we could have gotten more details on like, I don't know....her final words???

2. It was anticlimactic

We didn't get enough focus on Ymir's point of view after leaving Paradis in order for her death to have any kind of lasting emotional impact. As I mentioned above, it just felt out of place and messy. There was nothing memorable about her death either. It was quite simple and boring.

3. It contributed to an ongoing literary issue that has anti-LGBTQ roots

Yep. I'm talking about the infamous Bury Your Gays trope. Now before I go any further, I am not accusing Isayama of being anti-LGBTQ, I'm just shedding some light on something that's been continuously repeated in countless forms of media, not just anime and manga. Truthfully, I hadn't heard about this trope before reading Attack on Titan, but when I did hear about it, it only made Ymir's death even worse for me. I'm not surprised that it exists and I realize that this is a manga where death is inevitable, but keeping both women alive in the end would have certainly been very refreshing. At this point, all I could ask for is that Ymir and Historia get to see each other one last time. Obviously since Ymir is dead it will have to be through other means and I don't care how it's done. It can be in a dream, a vision or through Paths (which I think would work best). Seriously, there's nothing I've been more curious about than how Ymir would react to Hisu's current predicament and what she would say to her. It would just be great for them to have one last conversation face to face because for me, the letter just wasn't enough. Of course I'm hoping for too much, though. We've only got 1-2% of the story remaining, leaving no room for further closure. It's disappointing and frustrating, but no story is perfect. I'm grateful for the content that we did get, but I hope one day I can find a story like this one where the queer characters get to live for once. I'm aware of other shows like Steven Universe, Adventure Time and Yuri on Ice that give them good endings, but those shows are much friendlier towards younger audiences and aren't nearly as dark and grim.

Conclusion

Ymir was a very intriguing character while we had her, but her death was unsatisfactory and only left us with more questions. I am not going to trash Isayama for it, but I will leave this critique here so I can unload all my thoughts for others to read if they wish, or possibly share their own thoughts. We are coming close to the end of the manga, so now would be a great time to reflect on what we read and enjoy what's left of it.

#snk #ymir #snk meta #snk spoilers #snk character analysis #snk manga #snk thoughts

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mercuryonparklane · 3 years

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I just found this one-shot I wrote based on ‘betty’ that has been sitting in my notes since September. I thought I’d share, if anyone is interested in that. The characters belong to Taylor and her co-writers, of course. I just borrowed them for this fic.

‘Please, come over’

Jamie Mann stares at the text for far too long, watching those three little dots appear and, then, disappear once again. Betty hates sending more than one text in a row. Even more than that, she can't stand it when a message goes unanswered.

Still, Jamie can't quite think of what to say. Her mind flashes back to prom two weeks earlier and the boy who swayed Betty around the dance floor while she laughed at his stupid jokes. Betty told her that she isn't interested in boys, but damnit if she isn't very good at hiding that fact.

Jamie throws her phone down next to her on the bed and pulls the hood of her sweatshirt over her head. She fiddles with the strings of the sweatshirt until she hears the ding of a new message.

'I'm in front of your house. Get your ass out here and hop in.'

Jamie fights the smile on her face, but she can't help feeling a little less hurt in the moment. August was the kind of friend who could convince you to do things you would never even think to do. Like the time they hopped the fence at school on a Friday night to smoke in the softball dugout. Or the time August managed to sneak them into some gay club in the city. Or the time they almost ditched the cop trying to pull her over for running a red light. Okay, so maybe they weren't actually going to try to escape and maybe August's uncle happened to be the cop in question. But still...

Jamie grabs her backpack and puts it on as she heads down stairs.

"Where do you think you're going, young lady?"

"Mom, I literally just graduated high school last night and I turn 18 next month. I'm basically an adult."

Her mom pulls her into a hug. Jamie lets it happen for a few seconds before escaping her grasp. Mrs. Mann runs her fingers through her daughter's hair trying to fix it best she can.

"Hmm... that will have to do. Now, truthfully, where are you going? Yeah, yeah, I know you're all grown up now, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop worrying about you."

Jamie rolls her eyes, but smiles nonetheless. "I'm staying over at August's. She's outside waiting for me, so can I go now?"

"Of course, dear. Have fun."

"Sure thing. Night, mom."

Jamie heads out the door and jogs to the midnight blue '67 Mustang idling in front of the driveway. She throws her backpack in the backseat before taking her spot in the passenger seat.

"So, what's the plan?"

"I was thinking we could go to that party Betty Davis is throwing."

A lump forms in Jamie's throat as she tries to come up with some excuse as to why they shouldn't go. August knows that Jamie is a lesbian, but she doesn't know anything about Betty. It was not something Betty wanted anyone to know about.

As far as anyone at school knew, Betty and Jamie were acquaintances at best. Betty was head cheerleader and Jamie was basically a skater burnout. Betty was class president and Jamie wasn't even on most of her teacher's radars. Betty was going to Yale next year. Jamie was going to a state school. Betty came from money. Jamie's mom worked two jobs to send her to private school. They weren’t exactly the likeliest of friends and no one would ever guess they were more than that.

"Come on, please? Don't you want to know what the popular kids get up to on the weekends?"

"Nah, it sounds pretty lame. I'd rather hang out just the two of us before you take your little road trip around the county, which I still can't believe your parents agreed to."

"You should come with me."

"What?"

"We would have so much fun. Besides I'm a little scared about driving around by myself."

Jamie scoffs, "You? Why, August Adams you are the bravest person I have ever known. What could possibly scare you?"

"I don't know... a car accident, rapists, serial killers, muggers, creatures..."

"Okay, I get it. I just mean... you've been planning this trip for two years. Wasn't it supposed to be some great big adventure of self-discovery?"

August shrugs. "I already know who I am. I'm a bisexual goddess, who is going to be the CEO of a major corporation someday, and no one can stop me. But also I'm just a girl sitting in front a girl, asking her to join me on the trip of a lifetime."

Jamie's heart skips a beat. She loves Betty so deeply, but being with her was torture. It would have been four more years of hiding. 'Just until we graduate college,’ Betty's words echo in her head. Four years is a long time and Jamie is sick of hiding. August came out Sophomore year and didn't care about what anyone thought of her.

"You know what, that sounds amazing."

August squeals and leans across the center console to wrap her arms around Jamie. "We're going to have so much fun, James!"

They never went to Betty’s party. Instead they drove to 7-Eleven, bought snacks and slurpees, and spent the rest of the night at the one skate park in town.

It took a bit of convincing before her mom felt comfortable letting her go on the five week trip. The fact that August had family sprinkled along their route, with whom they would be staying most of the time, helped to reassure her. August created an itinerary for Jamie's mom, so she would have an idea of where they would be and with whom.

A week into the trip, Jamie gets an unexpected text.

'I heard you left town with August Adams. Thanks for the heads up. Hope you have fun.'

The three dots show up and disappear, then reappear once again.

And finally, after almost a minute, 'I hear she's a great lay.'

Jamie doesn't even reply. Her blood boils just a bit. They'd never officially broken things off, but seeing Betty kiss that boy on the dance floor was the last straw. Jamie didn't want to hide anymore. She wanted a girlfriend who's hand she could hold while walking down the street.

So, she got one. Sort of. The text kind of sent her into overdrive and she may have decided to see if all the rumors about August were true. They were. She definitely knew what she was doing and it was nice, but it wasn't the same as it had been with Betty. It was lust. There was no romance in it. At least not on Jamie's part.

Unfortunately, she had no idea the other girl had wanted this since they were Freshmen. It killed Jamie to tell her the truth. August was beautiful and fun and clever, but Jamie's heart belonged to someone else. She confessed everything about her relationship with Betty and how she wished she had gone to that party the night after graduation.

August won't tell anyone. She might be hurt, but she wasn't heartless. She'd never out someone nor would she ever try to get back at Jamie. They did decide to give each other some space. In fact, they only met up once more that summer. It was the day before August was set to leave for school. They hugged awkwardly and promised to keep in touch and to hang out over Thanksgiving break. They didn't keep those promises.

Betty doesn't message her again. Jamie rides past the girl's house on her skateboard almost every day for a month before she finally gets the nerve to text her.

'Hey, I'm near your house. Can we talk?'

She sits on the curb across the street from Betty's house for an embarrassingly long amount of time before she finally gives up. She stops riding by her house.

It's not until her mom drags her to the mall insisting she needs a new wardrobe for college that she finally sees Betty again. She catches sights of the girl from the store across the way and she tells her mom she'll be right back. She's about to step into the store, but someone grabs her by the wrist and drags her towards an empty service hallway. Jamie's heart stutters until she realizes who exactly has a hold on her.

"What the hell, Inez?"

Inez roughly releases her grasps once they are out of the earshot of passersby.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Me?! What do you think you're doing."

Inez rolls her eyes. "Stay away from her, you freak!"

"What gives you the right to tell me what to do?"

"I don't know. Maybe the fact that Betty told me all about how you're desperately in love with her and tried to put the moves on her and that's why she had to switch homerooms. Which I said was weird because as far as I knew you were off playing Thelma and Louise with August Adams. So just, like, leave her alone. She's not... like you."

Jamie bites her tongue. There is so much she wants to say, but it would only make things worse. "Whatever. Maybe you should tell your friend not to flatter herself."

Occasionally, over the next few years, Jamie checks Betty's social media accounts, looking for any hint that one of the girls in her pictures were more than just a friend. Jamie thinks about the night after high school graduation often. She fantasizes about what would have happened if she had gone to Betty's party. Would the girl have finally kissed her in front of their classmates? Was she already drunk when she sent that message? Had she finally been ready to say 'fuck it all' and let everyone know she wasn't who they thought she was?

Jamie will probably never know. But she spends her college years chasing the feeling she had when she was with Betty. There were a couple of women who she thought she had been in love with. Maybe she had been, but there was always this one piece of her heart that hung on to past love.

She dates quite a bit the first couple of years after college, until she eventually gets into a committed relationship. It's great for a while. It lasts four and a half years. She's devastated when it ends. But also, a part of her is relieved. It doesn't really make sense until that next Thanksgiving weekend when her high school class is having its ten year reunion.

She contemplates not going, but she's already R.S.V.P.'d and she's already going to be in town to celebrate Thanksgiving with her family. So, she musters up the courage to go.

The first person she recognizes is August Adams. The other woman greets her with a tight hug.

"James! How are you? God, it's been too long."

"It has."

It really has. Jamie missed her friend. She screwed it all up so much back when they were kids. But the woman still had this brightness that radiated from her and Jamie let herself bask in it.

"Oh, you have to meet my wife," August wraps her arm around the waist of a gorgeous brunette, "This is Autumn. I know, I know. Don't even start."

Jamie chuckles, but keeps quiet. After catching up and seeing way too many pictures of August's kid (she was a proud mom and it was kind of cute, to be honest), Jamie was left alone when the other woman found another old friend to talk to. She didn't mind. It gave her a chance to finally get to the bar and get a drink.

Jamie orders a whiskey on the rocks.

"I'll take one of those too, please," a voice speaks from beside her.

Jamie turns her head and takes in the sight before her. Betty hasn't changed much. If anything, she's even more attractive than she was all those years ago.

"Hi."

"Uhh..." Jamie clears her throat, "Hey."

Betty bites her lower lip, a smirk forming on her face anyway. "You look..." Her eyes scan Jamie's body and Jamie shifts a bit under her gaze, "good."

"That's all." Jamie elbows her playfully. The bartender sets their drinks in front of them. Jamie lifts the glass to her mouth.

"Let me try that again. You look incredible in that suit, but all I can think about is what you'd look like out of it."

Jamie chokes on her drink, pounding her chest with her fist as she coughs. Betty quirks her eyebrows and smirks smugly, while Jamie tries to gain some sense of control over her own body again.

"Umm... wow, that... I wouldn't mind..."

"Are you here with anyone?"

"No. I'm actually single at the moment. You?"

Betty doesn't even bother to answer. Instead she kisses Jamie. It takes a moment for Jamie to register what is happening, but eventually she gets a hold of herself and reciprocates the kiss, matching the passion of the woman in front of her.

There are a couple of 'whoops' from former classmates and a 'Get it, Davis' before Betty pulls away.

"Do you want to get out of here?"

How could Jamie say no to that? After that kiss? After ten years of dreaming about this moment? She couldn't.

"Definitely."

'Out of here' isn't very far. It's actually a room at the hotel where the reunion was being hosted, but really it was better than Jamie could have ever dreamed.

As they lay together in the afterglow, Betty runs her fingers through Jamie's curly, golden locks. Jamie rests her head on Betty's chest, her fingers tracing random patterns across Betty's toned abs.

"You're still as fit as you were back then."

Betty buries her face in Jamie's hair. Jamie feels the laughter rumble through the other woman's chest at the comment. "Really? Those are your first words after everything?"

"I can't help it, when you look like this."

"You're not so bad yourself."

Jamie looks up at Betty incredulously, "I'm sexy as hell."

"Hmm... I mean, you're attractive, sure. 'Sexy as hell', may be a touch too far."

"Oh, yeah?" Jamie smiles up at her as she moves her hand down Betty's abdomen. "Let me show you a touch too far."

Being with Betty makes Jamie feel like she's 17 again. All the years away from the girl did nothing to quell her desire to be as close to her as humanly possible. Somehow it was like a part of Jamie's heart had finally found its place again. It was a part that she thought had long been lost and she had resigned herself to the fact that the puzzle would sit there in her chest missing that one piece forever.

Maybe she didn't know much back when they were kids, but she knew one thing that would always ring true: Betty Davis is, has always been, and will always be her person.

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am-imagines · 5 years

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Got Moves. - Alex Morgan Imagine.

Requested by an anon: his kinda sounded better in my head buttt, could you do one where Alex and the reader are dating and the reader and the younger girls go out to the club while everyone else stays at the hotel for a chill day. And then the girls get really drunk that the reader starts dancing/twerking at the club and no one knew she could dance like that and posted it to social media. And they don’t remember what happened the next day. so then when the team reunites the next day, they tease the reader

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” You ask Alex.

The team is getting ready for a fun evening, but while you and some of the youngsters want to go clubbing, the rest are happy to stay behind and have some pool fun. It’s been some time since you had a drink, and even longer from the last time you had a chance to properly dance.

In all honesty, the team has never seen your moves. In a way, you’re grateful for that. No one knows what they would do with that intel, but you’re pretty sure the teasing would be endless. Maybe they would try to start some sort of competition between Sonnett and you. Not trying to brag but, you would win without a doubt.

“I’m sure. Have fun, okay? Don’t let them break the law.”

You chuckle at her words and nod.

Even when you’re missing her already, you understand she needs some time for herself after dealing with people day in and day out. As much as she’d like to have some privacy in town, she’s Alex Morgan; everyone wants a piece of her.

Media is exhausting as it is, and you’re not gonna ask her to sacrifice the little free time you have just for a drink.

“I’ll try my best.”

There’s a smile on your lips when you lean down to kiss her. Her arms wrap around your neck as she brings you closer. Truthfully, you could do that all day long. And you would; if Rose and Mal hadn’t convinced you to go with them. O’Hara doesn’t count like an adult when alcohol is involved. She would drink her way around a concussion if left unsupervised.

“Y/N! You coming?”

Lavelle’s voice breaks the spell. You pull back reluctantly much to Alex’s amusement. The fact she wants you to have fun doesn’t mean she won’t try to keep you there as long as possible. So, she kisses you again until you forget about the girls.

“Y/L!”

“Go,” Alex says this time. “You don’t want to keep them waiting.”

“Are you sure?” You ask, leaning down to steal another kiss.

“Oh my God. Y/L! You and Janice can make up for this hard separation with sex when we get back. Now, hurry up! The car is here.”

With a sigh, you let Alex go as she chuckles with that mischievous glint in her eyes. That woman drives you crazy in all the right ways; unlike Kelley.

“Real classy, O’Hara!” You shout over your shoulder. “Have you ever heard of love?”

“I have, but that doesn’t mean our face holes are attached together all the damn time.”

You shake your head at that. There’s no way to win with an impatient Kelley. You should’ve known, but when you kiss Alex, it’s easy to forget everything else.

“Love you,” you mouth to Alex while you’re dragged away by a bunch of teenagers.

By the time you make it to the car, you start wondering if their ID’s are fake.

***

The club is packed, but there’s always space for the USWNT. They make space in a private area where the girls and you can do almost anything you want. You claim a corner of the dance club with a drink in hand, that’s enough for the fun to start.

The neon lights flash along with the music, and you follow the girls as they “dance”.

You’re basically jumping on the spot while moving your arms around; barely ducking in time before Sam wacks you in the face. It’s fun even when their rhythm sucks. Someone puts another drink on your hand as you keep fooling around. You enjoy the moment among the younglings of the team, and wonder if this is how it feels to be a parent.

The songs blend together, but at some point the beat drops. You can feel the bass in every single atom of your body, and you smirk.

The beat calls you with its sensuality, and before you know it, your body moves on its own accord. You wish Alex would be there. You would guide her back to your booth and give her a lap dance she couldn’t forget.

You would tease her with the dangerous move of your hips as you flow with the wavelength of the music around you. It fills your body with a different kind of energy; provocative by nature. It feeds your primal side, and you simply don’t have to think.

Your hips sway with that instinct as if luring a prey that isn’t there. The bass leads the way until you’re fully immersed in that moment; going down while your shoulders invite to the touch that won’t come.

It’s such a pity Alex decided to stay at the hotel. She would have liked this song.

Who knows? Maybe you could have convinced her to ditch the girls and go back to your shared room. Instead, you’re doing shots with Kelley until she’s wasted.

She’s laughing uncontrollably; trying to get into the table for God knows what reason.

Rose, Mal and Sam are on their phones, talking among themselves about something you can’t hear above the music. They don’t even notice when you approach, and that seems like a good time as any to call it a night.

Only then you realize you’re phone is nowhere to be seen. Thinking about it, you didn’t have it with you leaving the hotel. It’s probably forgotten somewhere in your room, and you blame Kelley for that. Yes, technically you were too busy kissing Alex to even think about the damn phone. But maybe you would have remembered if O’Hara wasn’t rushing you so damn much.

“Lavelle, can you call an Uber?”

“On it,” she says without looking at you.

“Damn, Y/n! You got moves! Can you teach me some of those?” Mal asks.

“Maybe next time,” you answer with a smirk.

“Oh, I bet certain forward would really really like to see them,” Kelley adds before winking with both eyes.

Totally wasted.

“O’Hara?”

“What?”

“Shut the hell up.”

***

You wake up groggy the next morning; not hungover but you’ve definitely had better days.

Alex is nowhere to be seen, but she left a note telling you she’ll see you at breakfast. You groan after reading it, and cuddle into her pillow for five more minutes. This would be the perfect time to cuddle with her instead of the pillow, but that can’t really happen now.

You leave bed, shower and change before starting a hunt for coffee, love, and food in that specific order. The slight headache reminds you exactly why you don’t drink that much anymore.

Everyone turns their attention to you as soon as you enter and you wonder what’s going on as you shamelessly sit down on Alex’s lap. She’s your girlfriend, she’s offering you a steaming cup of coffee, and they can suck it.

It’s not like Kelley is going to move when she’s slumped all over the table; probably half dead. And you’re not going to sit on Tobin’s; Press would probably try to murder you.

“Did I miss something?” You ask when the team keeps giving you weird looks.

“Oh, God. She doesn’t remember,” Rose mutters into her orange juice.

“Remember what?”

“Yesterday we went to a club.”

That’s extremely unhelpful and you roll your eyes at that. You turn to face Alex, but she won’t meet your eye. Oh, now you really want to know what’s happening if it makes Alex fucking Morgan act like that.

“Yeah, I know. I remember Sam almost gave me a black eye while we had to drag Kelley away from the table. Her dancing is not the kind that should be broadcast.”

Alex looks up at that; eyes darker than they were a moment ago. Interesting.

The girls laugh at your comment but still, you’re even more confused. Apparently, there’s something you can’t remember even when the night is clear on your head.

“Have you checked your Insta?” Christen finally throws you a bone.

“I don’t know where’ my phone is.”

After a soft kiss, Alex lets you borrow hers to check your mentions and sure enough; there’s a vid of a very specific dance you remember. What you can’t recall is; the exact moment they started recording.

“I didn’t know you could dance like that,” Sonnett chimes.

“Yeah, no offense, but that was the point.”

You poke Kelley’s side but she doesn’t react until the fifth time.

“What do you want?”

“Why the fuck did you record me?”

“Al deserved to see it.”

“You ever heard of DM’s?”

“With the way you hog each other in public, I thought you wouldn’t mind.”

You don’t have a comeback for that so you solely wait until Kelley is dozing off again before pouring half a glass of ice cold water into her head.

“What the hell?” She shouts jerking awake just to glare at you.

“I hate you.”

“No, you fucking don’t.”

“Shows us the moves, Y/n!” Ash interrupts your staring contest with Kel.

“Sorry, those are reserved for number thirteen only.”

“Do I get to see them now?” Alex whispers.

So, that’s it. You knew she would have liked that dance. And you don’t mind putting on a very private show for her. However, it wouldn’t be good for your reputation to give on so easily.

“Tell you what, win the scrimmage today and I’ll see what I can do.”

Appealing to Alex’s competitiveness is like playing with fire, but you plan to burn.

“Game on.”

“You two are seriously disgusting.”

“O’Hara?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll shut the hell up.”

#Alex Morgan imagine #alex morgan imagines #alex morgan x reader #uswnt imagine #requested #fulfilled prompt

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ingek73 · 3 years

Text

01-22-2112:00 PM

‘Time is running out’: Prince Harry calls for social media reform after U.S. Capitol riot

In a Q&A with Fast Company, The Duke of Sussex responds to social media’s role in the Capitol attack and explains why the next step must be to hold social platforms accountable.

[Photo: Samir Hussein/WireImage/Getty Images]

BY KATHARINE SCHWAB

LONG READ

Over the past year, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, have become increasingly outspoken advocates for healthier social media—a topic that is clearly near to their hearts, given the horrendous vitriol and harassment they have faced online and in the press.

By partnering with organizations that aim to understand technology’s impact on society and vocally critiquing the state of online life in the media, the couple are using their clout to push for change in the current digital ecosystem. In an essay for Fast Company last August, Prince Harry called on business leaders to rethink their role in funding the advertising system that underlies the misinformation and divisive rhetoric that’s often shared on social platforms.

“This remodeling must include industry leaders from all areas drawing a line in the sand against unacceptable online practices as well as being active participants in the process of establishing new standards for our online world,” he wrote.

Now, social media is facing an inflection point, just weeks after a violent mob stormed the Capitol in an attack that was conceived, plotted, and stoked primarily online. Powerful platforms including Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube responded by suspending Donald Trump’s accounts, while Amazon and Apple cut ties with Parler, a social network that was used by the rioters. But experts and regulators believe that more must be done to reform social media.

Against this background, Prince Harry is once again imploring people to pay attention to the problems social media have wrought. In a wide-ranging interview with Fast Company, he explains why social platforms must be held accountable for the Capitol attack and the circumstances that enabled it, and why we must remodel the digital world before it’s too late.

FC: Six months ago, you wrote an essay for Fast Company in which you asked companies to take action to ensure the meaningful reform of our “unchecked and divisive attention economy.” How has your perspective on social media’s role in society changed over the last few weeks since the attack on the U.S. Capitol?

Prince Harry: When I wrote that piece, I was sharing my view that dominant online platforms have contributed to and stoked the conditions for a crisis of hate, a crisis of health, and a crisis of truth.

And I stand by that, along with millions of others who see and feel what this era has done at every level—we are losing loved ones to conspiracy theories, losing a sense of self because of the barrage of mistruths, and at the largest scale, losing our democracies.

The magnitude of this cannot be overstated, as noted even by the defectors who helped build these platforms. It takes courage to stand up, cite where things have gone wrong, and offer proposals and solutions. The need for that is greater than ever before. So I’m encouraged by and grateful for the groundswell of people who work—or have worked—inside these very platforms choosing to speak up against hate, violence, division, and confusion.

FC: Why is this topic so important to you? How was your outlook affected by the well-documented online harassment you and your wife have faced in the U.K.?

PH: I was really surprised to witness how my story had been told one way, my wife’s story had been told one way, and then our union sparked something that made the telling of that story very different.

That false narrative became the mothership for all of the harassment you’re referring to. It wouldn’t have even begun had our story just been told truthfully.

WE ARE LOSING LOVED ONES TO CONSPIRACY THEORIES, LOSING A SENSE OF SELF BECAUSE OF THE BARRAGE OF MISTRUTHS, AND AT THE LARGEST SCALE, LOSING OUR DEMOCRACIES.”

PRINCE HARRY, THE DUKE OF SUSSEX

But the important thing about what we experienced is that it led to us hearing from so many others around the world. We’ve thought a lot about those in much more vulnerable positions than us, and how much of a need there is for real empathy and support.

To their own degree, everyone has been deeply affected by the current consequences of the digital space. It could be as individual as seeing a loved one go down the path of radicalisation or as collective as seeing the science behind the climate crisis denied.

We are all vulnerable to it, which is why I don’t see it as a tech issue, or a political issue—it’s a humanitarian issue.

From an early age, the guiding principle in my life has been about the duty to truth, the pursuit of compassion, and the alleviation of suffering. My life has always been about trying to do my part to help those who need it most, and right now, we need this change—because it touches nearly every single thing we do or are exposed to.

FC: Where do we go from here? What do you think needs to change to create an online atmosphere where truth, equity, and free speech are all prioritized?

PH: I ask the same thing every day and lean on the experts to help give guidance on how to reform the state of our digital world—how we make it better for our kids, of course, but also for ourselves—now.

The avalanche of misinformation we are all inundated with is bending reality and has created this distorted filter that affects our ability to think clearly or even understand the world around us.

What happens online does not stay online—it spreads everywhere, like wildfire: into our homes and workplaces, into the streets, into our minds. The question really becomes about what to do when news and information sharing is no longer a decent, truthful exchange, but rather an exchange of weaponry.

WHAT HAPPENS ONLINE DOES NOT STAY ONLINE—IT SPREADS EVERYWHERE, LIKE WILDFIRE: INTO OUR HOMES AND WORKPLACES, INTO THE STREETS, INTO OUR MINDS.”

PRINCE HARRY, THE DUKE OF SUSSEX

The answer I’ve heard from experts in this space is that the common denominator starts with accountability. There has to be accountability to collective wellbeing, not just financial incentive. It’s hard for me to understand how the platforms themselves can eagerly take profit but shun responsibility.

There also has to be common, shared accountability. We can call for digital reform and debate how that happens and what it looks like, but it’s also on each of us to take a more critical eye to our own relationship with technology and media. To start, it doesn’t have to be that complicated. Consider setting limits on the time you spend on social media, stop yourself from endlessly scrolling, fact-check the source and research the information you see, and commit to taking a more compassionate approach and tone when you post or comment. These might seem like little things, but they add up.

Finally, there’s a responsibility to compassion that we each own. Humans crave connection, social bonds, and a sense of belonging. When we don’t have those, we end up fractured, and in the digital age that can unfortunately be a catalyst for finding connection in mass extremism movements or radicalisation. We need to take better care of each other, especially in these times of isolation and vulnerability.

FC: Since the Capitol riot, big tech companies from Twitter to Amazon have exercised their power by making determinations about who gets to use their products. Do you think companies should have the power to make decisions about who has access to some of the most prominent platforms on the internet?

PH: We have seen time and again what happens when the real-world cost of misinformation is disregarded. There is no way to downplay this. There was a literal attack on democracy in the United States, organised on social media, which is an issue of violent extremism. It is widely acknowledged that social media played a role in the genocide in Myanmar and was used as a vehicle to incite violence against the Rohingya people, which is a human rights issue. And in Brazil, social media provided a conduit for misinformation which ultimately brought destruction to the Amazon, which is an environmental and global health issue.

In a way, taking a predominately hands-off approach to problems for so long is itself an exercise in power.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about Speakers’ Corner, an area in London’s Hyde Park which is home to open-air debate, dialogue, and the exchange of information and ideas. I used to go past it all the time.

This concept of a ‘public square’ isn’t anything new—it can be traced back to the early days of democracies. You get up there and speak your piece. There are ground rules. You can’t incite violence, you can’t obscure who you are, and you can’t pay to monopolise or own the space itself. Ideas are considered or shot down; opinions are formed. At its best, movements are born, lies are laid bare, and attempts to stoke violence are rejected in the moment. At its worst, intolerance, groupthink, hate, and persecution are amplified. And at times, it forces lines to be drawn and rules or laws to emerge or be challenged.

I THINK IT’S A FALSE CHOICE TO SAY YOU HAVE TO PICK BETWEEN FREE SPEECH OR A MORE COMPASSIONATE AND TRUSTWORTHY DIGITAL WORLD.”

PRINCE HARRY, THE DUKE OF SUSSEX

I’m not saying we should abandon technology in favour of Speakers’ Corner. Rather, it’s that we should avoid buying into the idea that social media is the ultimate modern-day public square and that any attempt to ask platforms to be accountable to the landscape they’ve created is an attack or restriction of speech. I think it’s a false choice to say you have to pick between free speech or a more compassionate and trustworthy digital world. They are not mutually exclusive.

With these companies, in this model, we have a very small number of incredibly powerful and consolidated gatekeepers who have deployed hidden algorithms to pick the content billions see every day, and curate the information—or misinformation—everyone consumes. This radically alters how and why we inform opinions. It alters how we speak and what we decide to speak about. It alters how we think and how we react.

Ultimately, it has allowed for completely different versions of reality, with opposing sets of truth, to exist simultaneously. In this, one’s understanding of truth does not have to be based in fact, because there’s always an ability to furnish some form of “proof” to reinforce that version of “truth.” I believe this is the opposite of what we should want from our collective online community. The current model sorts and separates rather than bringing us together; it drowns out or even eliminates healthy dialogue and reasonable debate; it strips away the mutual respect we should have for each other as citizens of the same world.

FC: How do you plan to use your platform to push for change when it comes to hate speech, algorithmic amplification, and misinformation in 2021? Since you’re not a trained expert on these topics, why do you think people should listen to your perspective?

PH: I know enough to know that I certainly don’t know everything, especially when it comes to tech—but when you see this as a humanitarian issue, then you see the spread of misinformation as requiring a humanitarian response.

This is why my wife and I spent much of 2020 consulting the experts and learning directly from academics, advocates, and policymakers. We’ve also been listening with empathy to people who have stories to share—including people who have been deeply affected by misinformation and those who grew up as digital natives.

What we hope to do is continue to be a spotlight for their perspectives, and focus on harnessing their experience and energy to accelerate the pace of change in the digital world.

FC: Your Archewell Foundation has collaborated with several groups and institutions that aim to rethink technology and study its impact on people. As a philanthropist, why are you supporting research efforts within this space?

PH: If we’ve learned anything, it’s that our dominant technologies were built to grow and grow and grow, without serious consideration for the ripple effect of that growth. We have to do more than simply reconsider this model. The stakes are too high, and time is running out.

WE HAVE TO DO MORE THAN SIMPLY RECONSIDER THIS MODEL. THE STAKES ARE TOO HIGH, AND TIME IS RUNNING OUT.”

PRINCE HARRY, THE DUKE OF SUSSEX

There are a lot of incredible people and digital architects thinking about—or already working on—innovative and healthy platforms. We need to support them, not only because it’s the right thing to do, but also because it can make commercial sense. And we have to look at the state of competition and ensure that the landscape doesn’t indiscriminately squeeze out or incentivise against fresh ideas.

I believe we can begin to make our digital world healthier, more compassionate, more inclusive, and trustworthy.

And it’s time to move from rethinking to remodelling.

FC: Given your concerns about divisiveness, misinformation, and hate speech online, how have your views on using social media yourself changed over the last few years? How do you approach it now and are you planning to make any changes?

PH: It’s funny you should ask because ironically, we woke up one morning a couple of weeks ago to hear that a Rupert Murdoch newspaper said we were evidently quitting social media. That was ‘news’ to us, bearing in mind we have no social media to quit, nor have we for the past 10 months.

The truth is, despite its well-documented ills, social media can offer a means of connecting and community, which are vital to us as human beings. We need to hear each other’s stories and be able to share our own. That’s part of the beauty of life. And don’t get me wrong; I’m not suggesting that a reform of the digital space will create a world that’s all rainbows and sunshine, because that’s not realistic, and that, too, isn’t life.

There can be disagreement, conversation, opposing points of view—as there should be, but never to the extent that violence is created, truth is mystified, and lives are jeopardised.

We will revisit social media when it feels right for us—perhaps when we see more meaningful commitments to change or reform—but right now we’ve thrown much of our energy into learning about this space and how we can help.

FC: Are you optimistic or pessimistic about our ability to build a healthier online ecosystem?

PH: Optimistic, of course, because I believe in us, as human beings, and that we are wired to be compassionate and honest and good. Aspects of the digital space have unfortunately manipulated (or even highlighted) our weaknesses and brought out the worst in some.

We have to believe in optimism because that’s the world and the humanity I want for my son, and all of us.

We look forward to being part of the human experience—not a human experiment.

#royals #prince harry #duke of sussex #fast company

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ouronlyangelhes · 5 years

Text

Hot Sheet Hotel: Harry Styles One Shot

The one where you and Harry are divorced, he remarries but keeps coming back to you. Hope you enjoy it. Angsty and sad! 🥰 Sorry I’ve been kinda absent on here! I’ve been spending a lot of time working on this piece!! Let me know what you think!

You and Harry had gotten married at young age. Dated all through high school and were the stereotypical high school sweethearts. Both of you dreamed of being that couple who had been together for ages and was always in love. At nineteen, the two of you tied the knot and were ready to spend the rest of your lives committed to one another and never letting a day pass without saying I love you. Things shifted quickly as both of you were approaching your 23rd birthdays and you two were not the same people you were in high school.

People change and the two of you had changed so much in a short period of time. You never wanted to listen to people who constantly were telling you that you had rushed into marriage with Harry. Because truthfully, you didn’t think you had. Both of you were content with spending the rest of your lives with each other so it just made sense. The both of you had become different people and had different desires. You wanted to travel the world and go out and be as adventurous as possible.

Harry was caught up with work and was living through his career and that became his top priority. Things had changed and they had changed too much for your liking. The two of you had a conversation one day and realized that you no longer saw each other as the person you were going to spend the rest of your lives with. Your twenties were suppose to be a time of self discovery, having experiences, living life to the fullest, and then maybe meeting someone special and settling down. You had done everything backwards and you were starting to understand why so many were hesitant about you and Harry getting married so young.

It was hard, being divorced at twenty-three. It was a strange thing to tell people. It was something that you never saw for yourself or with your relationship with Harry. He never saw it as something that would happen either. He felt the ever growing distance between the two of you and realized that you both were not the same people you were. It’s great to change, we all learn things through living life but the two of you hadn’t really lived. You got married and that was what you knew.

Now at 27, you can honestly say you’ve lived. You have traveled the world, met amazing people, and truly gained life experience. You have a job you love and you feel that you are right where you need to be. You’ve been working at Full Stop management for the past few months. You love the people that you work with and are really happy with the work you’ve been doing. At first, you were hesitant to take a job with the same management company that managed your ex husband but you couldn’t let Harry control your decisions. The two of you had been divorced almost 4 years.

Life had moved on and you both went your separate ways. You traveled and Harry settled down and got remarried a few years later. To outsiders it probably seemed awkward that you worked at Full Stop, but you never really encountered Harry much to be honest. When the the two of you split it was pretty peaceful. No major arguing over property or anything like that. Just an amicable split. When you saw each other it was like old friends saying hi and then carrying on with their day.

You were working in your office when Jeff’s assistant knocked on your door,

“Hey! Sorry to bother you. Jeff asked me to come get you, he said that Matt called in sick and Jeff wants you to come fill in for him in a meeting.” She asked as she stood in the door way.

“Yeah! Tell him I’ll be in there in just a second.” You told her as you finished up the email you were working on.

You shut your laptop and headed into the conference room.

“Ah Y/N! Thank God you’re here! Matt called in sick and left me scrambling to get everything together for this meeting. I was wondering if you’d just fill in for him and do some typing and note taking. I know this might be a little awkward but there’s literally no one I trust more than you. Harry’s coming in to go over ideas and media releases for his second album and I understand if you aren’t comfortable with working with him or whatever. I know your job isn’t to work with him directly so let me know if you aren’t okay with it.” He said.

“I appreciate you telling me. I am okay with working with him and sitting in on this meeting. Look, its been a long time and a lot has happened sense then. I am ok working with him as long as he’s fine with having me sit in then I am good.” You said to him.

“Okay great! I will go confirm with him that everything is good and I’ll be back in. I am sure he’ll be good with it. If you want to just go ahead and set up for taking notes and all that I’ll be back in a minute.” He said as he walked out the door of the conference room. Sure, it felt a little weird to think that you’d be sitting in a room with your ex husband talking about his new album. But it wasn’t exactly crazy. You weren’t uncomfortable with it and you hoped that Harry wouldn’t be either. You had parted almost four years ago and he still had a great amount of respect and love for you.

When Jeff told him that you’d be sitting in on the meeting, he was more than okay with it. He had a lot of respect for you and your work ethic. When you wanted something, you got it. That was always something he had loved and admired about you. His second album was due at any moment and there was still a lot logistically to figure out. He needed to plan the release date, approve the album artwork, start setting up the tour schedule, tour outfits, touring venues, all of that still needed to be done. He was still putting the finishing touches on it and was eager to release it whenever he felt like it was fully finished.

You were typing away on your laptop getting the documents set up for the meeting, when you heard the conference room door open.

“Hey! Jeff said I’d find you in here.” Harry said as he walked in.

“You found me.” You said as you looked up from the document you were working on.

“I just wanna say thank you.” He said as he sat down next to you.

“For what?” You asked.

“For being so cool. For being okay with working with me. And just for being the you I’ve always known. For just be a go with the flow person. I get it, its kind of weird to be asked to be involved in your ex husband’s second album meeting but I appreciate you being here. You always had really great ideas and I dunno I just wanted to tell you that.” He said with a smile.

“Well, thank you. I appreciate that. I am happy to help, honestly! I have kinda missed sitting in on these kinds of meetings. I’ve mostly just been doing a whole lot of scheduling at the moment so I haven’t really gotten a chance to let my creative juices flow with album artwork and merch and stuff.” You said to him.

The conversation you’ve had with him wasn’t really awkward at all. It was just Harry you were talking to. There was never any pressure of discomfort. You always felt like you could just tell him anything.

“Glad you both are in here! We are still waiting on a few more people to get here but we can go ahead with those we have. They are just sitting in the lobby so I’ll have Lauren send them in and we can go ahead and get rolling.” Jeff said as he walked in.

“Okay sounds good.” Harry said.

Jeff started discussing plans for the album and ideas for the album artwork.

“For the artwork, these are the options that we have so far. So option one is a little bit more abstract, option two has the darker colors, option three is a mix of both option one and two. Thoughts?” Jeff asked the group.

“I am not sure. I like all of them to be honest. All of them have elements in them that I like. Y/N, what do you think?” Harry said.

“Uh, I agree all options are great. What if we took a little of the darker from the second option and just changed the font up a little. I like the darker colors but I also am not a big fan of the font personally.” You said.

“I like that. Yeah let’s do that.” Harry said in response to your idea.

The rest of the meeting was just finalizing tour dates and things like that. You were surprised with how well the meeting went and nothing really felt awkward between you and Harry. After the meeting was over you headed back to your office to continue working.

“Hey! I just wanted to say thank you for your help in the meeting. I really liked the ideas that you shared and I just wanted to tell you that.” Harry said as he popped his head into your office.

“Yeah, of course. Just doing my job.” You replied back to him.

“I’m sure you’re probably busy, but I was wondering if you’d want to get a drink with me? You look busy so if you tell me to piss off I will, I just wanted to ask.” He said to you.

“Uh, yeah. A drink sounds nice. Let me just finish this up real quick and I’ll meet you in the lobby when I’m done.” You said.

“Alright.” He said as he walked out.

You were happy that you and Harry had reached a point where he felt comfortable in asking you out for a drink. Nothing was hostile or awkward, it was just perfectly normal. You turned off the lamp by your desk and grabbed your things out of your office. You met Harry in the lobby where he was sitting in one of the chairs.

Harry had a car outside waiting for him and you followed him to it.

“So, are you excited about the album?” You asked him trying to make some sort of conversation.

“I am! You know we don’t just have to talk about work stuff. I mean we can, but I know that we have plenty of other things that we could talk about.” He said.

“Like what? I don’t know I’m just trying to not make anything weird or be too invasive.” You said.

“You’ve never been invasive. And I don’t know, I just like hearing what you’ve been up to. Jeff has told me that you’ve done quite a bit of traveling. Did you go anywhere neat?”

“I did. I went to Italy, Germany, Spain, and a few other places. It was just nice to be able to see the world and just see how beautiful the world really is.” You said to him.

“That’s so true. Over the years I’ve gotten to go so many places I never would’ve imagined I’d go. And it’s all because I make music that people want to hear. It’s just crazy to me.” He said.

“Is this the place?” Harry’s driver asked as he pulled over the car.

“Yes, this is it. Thank you. I’ll let you know what time to return.” Harry said as he exited the vehicle.

“Why this place if you don’t mind me asking?” You asked Harry as you got out of the car and started walking into a hotel.

“I do some writing here sometimes. Sometimes I get a drink or two at the bar and then I head up to my room and write. There’s something about being all alone in a hotel room that produces a lot of emotions. No one wants to hear all the positives and how amazing you life is. Because life isn’t always perfect. People wanna hear you be vulnerable and talk about how you’re really feeling and the experiences you’ve had.” He confessed to you.

“I guess you have a fair point there. Sometimes you get caught up in all the good parts of life that sometimes you don’t want to write about the bad.” You said.

“I come here every couple of weeks, just to write and think. The studio is great and I’ve written a lot of amazing songs there, but sometimes when I’m alone and just able to sit down and pour my feelings out I get the best songs.” He said.

“So do you wanna go sit at the bar?” You asked him.

“Sure, there’s also little booths in the corner as well.” He pointed out to you.

The waitress came up and took your drink order and then headed back to the bar to get your drinks.

“So, how’s married life?” You asked him.

“Well, I guess the same as it was the first time. No, I’m joking it’s good. She’s really wonderful, she really is.” He said with a smile.

“Good. I’m glad you’re happy. You deserve all of the happiness in the world.” You said.

“So do you. Have you been dating or seeing anyone?” He asked.

“Here and there. Nothing super serious.” You said.

“Thank you.” You said to the waitress as she brought you a second drink.

“We should do some shots!” Harry suggested.

“I don’t know if shots are such a good idea.” You said to him.

“Come on! It would be like the old days!” He begged.

“Sure, why not.” You said

It was like old times again. You two were having a lot of fun together. You had to admit the few drinks you’d had combined with shots had you feeling pretty buzzed.

“Do you wanna head upstairs upstairs to my room? We can have a few more drinks or something. Or just go talk with a little less noise.” Harry asked.

“Yeah okay, sure.” You said as you got out of your chair.

You got in the elevator and waited to get off on the floor of the room.

You were definitely feeling the drinks at this point and you weren’t sure how many more you could take. Harry got the key card out of his wallet and opened the door.

“Make yourself comfortable.” He said as he went to the bar to grab some glasses and drinks.

“Thanks.” You said as you sat down on the couch in his large suite.

“I usually just rent it for like a week or two at a time or sometimes a month at a time and just come here when I feel inspired or need to write.” He said as he described the room.

“Here you go.” He said as passed the drink your way.

“Thank you.”

The room began to fall quiet. The conversation that had been taking place a few short hours ago had seemed to come to a halt. The two of you were just sitting on the couch admiring one another. The next thing you knew his lips were pressed against your own.

“Uh, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” You said as you got up from the couch.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He said as he reached for your hand and you sat back down. Your lips meeting once again for the second time in ages. His hands traveled up and down your body. Your hands gripped his hair. His hands began to wander just like they use to. And you found yourself reaching for his belt and unbuckling it. He picked you up off the couch and carried you into the bedroom. The two of continued what you had started in the living area and picked right back up where you’d left off. You pulled his belt off and he took of his shirt. He looked good. He always had but it was different this time because so many years had passed since you had seen him this way. He was on top of you helping you get off you dress.

“God you look beautiful. You haven’t changed at all.” He said as he pressed his lips against yours once again.

Oh my god. He was married. He was married but his wife wasn’t the woman that he was holding. His wife wasn’t the one he was making out with in a hotel room. His wife wasn’t the one who had unbuckled his pants and her hand in his pants. That wasn’t here, that was all you. You were the one who was driving him wild. You were the one he had in the palm of his hand. He continued planting kisses all over your body. He always knew the right places and exactly where and how you liked to be touched. Even after all this time that was something that hasn’t been forgotten.

“You feel so good.” He said as he thrusted in and out of you.

Pretty soon the feeling overtook you both and you both collapsed back down onto the bed. You had fallen asleep pretty quickly and had planted you head in his chest, just like you had once before.

You were awoken to the sound of a phone ringing.

“Hey love. Did you get my text about me staying over at the hotel to finish up a song?” He asked and you knew who he was talking to.

“Yeah it came along real nicely.” He said as he winked at you.

“I miss you too. I’ll be home softly. I’m just gonna run a couple errands and I’ll be back. Are you headed anywhere?” He said back to her.

What the hell were you thinking? He was sitting in bed in a hotel room with you and talking to his wife. His wife that he shared a home with and obviously had a lot of love for. But obviously not enough love to not cheat on her.

“Sounds good. I’ll see you then. I won’t be too long. I love you.” He said as he ended the phone call.

“Hey, sorry about that. I’ve gotta run. You can stay as long as you need if you want to get some more sleep you can. I’ll call you.” He said as he pressed a kiss to your lips and was out the door.

That was the first time you had met at the hotel. It certainly wasn’t the last. It kinda became a weekly occurrence, sometimes more than once a week. You would show up to the hotel and meet Harry. You knew that it was something that you shouldn’t be doing. But somehow it had become so easy to fall back into a pattern with Harry, it was like no time had passed and nothing had changed. Things had changed though, he was married but not to you. You did have some guilt that consumed you from time to time, mostly you just felt selfish for wanting him in your life in whatever way possible.

“You look really good tonight.” Harry said as he let you in to his room.

“So what about all those other nights, huh? Did I not look good then?” You said in a joking tone.

“Oh no, I can assure you looked good all those nights too. I’m sure of it.” He said as he pulled you in closer.

It was strange. It was like you were falling in love with Harry all over again. All those kisses, touches, compliments he paid you, sweet gestures, it all made you heart grow fonder towards time. You tried to fight the way you were feeling, you really did. You couldn’t help it. He had this way of drawing you in and making you feel so special and so loved.

The two of you spent the rest of the evening in between the sheets.

“Do you ever think about what would’ve happened if we would’ve stayed together all those years ago? Like where we’d be now?” He asked as he ran his fingers through your hair.

“Yeah I definitely have thought about it. We were so young when everything happened and we both thought we wanted the same things and then it just got hard. I do think about it though.” You said to him.

“I think about. I think about all the things we would’ve done together. The family we would’ve had.” He said looking over at you with tears in your eyes. He didn’t have the right to say these things to you anymore. He wasn’t the man you were married to anymore and he wasn’t the man you could have a family with. He was doing all of that with someone else.

“You just can’t say these things to me. You just don’t get to tell me the life we would’ve had. You don’t get to say those things to me. You don’t just get to get my hopes up and make me think about what could have been. You’re doing all of those things with someone else and I’m just the girl that you occasionally share a bed with when your lonely.” Your words has stung. He didn’t know what to say. He felt extra guilty for what he has been putting you through the past few months. He felt your pain, it hurt him so much to see you so upset. It always had, he wanted to do everything in his power to care for you and protect you. He held you as you sobbed.”

“You’ve never been someone to just share a bed with, you know that.” He said as he wiped your tears.

“Do I? Because I feel like I am some big dirty secret and I just feel so guilty. I love you Harry. I always have and I think I always will.” You confessed as he put his arms around you.

“You’re not some dirty secret. If things had been different between us and timing had been on our side I know it would’ve been you. It most definitely would’ve.” He said to you.

You knew he had to feel something too, even if he couldn’t communicate those feelings to you. He had to, he was once in love with you and you shared a home and last name.

The rest of the day was spent in his arms, him holding you, and just sitting in silence.

“Are you hungry? I could go pick us up some food real quick.” He asked.

“That’d be great, yeah.” You said.

“Okay great. I’ll be back in 20.” He said as he put on his jacket and headed out the door.

You heard a knock at the door.

“What did you forget?” You asked as you opened the door to find none other than Jeff staring at you.

“Uh hey. I was just coming by to have Harry sign these but I guess he’s busy.” He said to you.

“Yeah, he just popped out for a minute.” You said.

There was absolutely no way this could be played off. You were wearing shorts and one of his button up shirts. This was exactly what it looked like, judging by the look on Jeff’s face he had put the pieces together.

“What’s going on here? He’s married Y/N, I don’t understand. When did this start?” He asked you.

“Don’t you think I know he’s married Jeff. I know that. But he was once married to me too okay and I get I am being selfish but part of me just wanted a part of that back.” You said to him.

“You need to end things with him. What was going to happen if somebody saw you two or she found out? Then what?” He asked and you heard the keycard enter the door.

“I’m back and I- Jeff.” Harry said as he entered the room.

“I just brought these over for you sign. We will talk about this later. Think about what I said Y/N.” He said as he walked out of the room.

You had tears in your eyes. You and Harry had been fooling around for months now and neither one of you seemed to have thought about the consequences of your actions.

“I think I should go.” You said as you began to gather you things.

“Wait, please don’t go. Please stay. Please.” Harry begged.

“I can’t stay Harry. I can’t. If I stay I’ll never want to leave. And we both know that I can’t stay. This was bound to end sometime, I mean you’re married. What did we expect to happen? I just need you to let me go and just not contact me. Ok?” You said as you let go of his hand and walked out the door.

This hurt Harry in a way he never imagined. It was like losing you all over again. He was feeling so much hurt and pain. But why? He was married. He wasn’t suppose to be meeting his ex wife in a hotel room, he wasn’t married to her anymore he was suppose to let that go. For some reason he just struggled letting you go. He always had.

It had been over a month since you had walked out of the hotel room. It had been hard, you got into a routine with Harry again and then all the sudden it was over. You had been having a hard time and you had to think he was too. It least you hoped he was, because that would’ve meant that what had been going on had mattered to him. At this point, you didn’t know what to think.

You found yourself at the doctors office after coming down with a case of the flu. You had a raging headache, throwing up constantly, and the chills.

“So the good news it’s not the flu.” The doctor said as she walked into the room.

“Well that’s good I guess.” You said slightly confused.

“While we were analyzing your test results we determined you are about six weeks pregnant.” She said to you.

“I’m sorry what?” You asked back.

“I’m assuming it wasn’t planned. I saw that you have an OB on file. I would recommend making an appointment as soon as possible.” She said.

“Thank you. I will.” You said.

You were in shock. You were pregnant with Harry’s child. What was going to happen? You knew that you had to tell him. No matter what had happened between the two of you, you couldn’t keep his own child from him.

Jeff had mentioned that Harry had some studio time reserved and you figured that was the only place you’d be able to track him down.

“Hey, I’m looking for Harry.” You asked.

“Oh yeah, he’s just in the studio down the hall to the left. Number 5.” She said.

As soon as you opened the studio door you found Harry sitting on the couch, writing in his journal.

“Hey.” You said as you walked closer to him.

“Uh hey! I wasn’t expecting to see you.” He says as he got up off of the couch.

“Can I talk to you. It’s important.” You said as you sat down next to him.

“Yeah, of course. Are you alright? You’re scaring me.” He said.

“No I’m not. I’m-I’m pregnant.”

“You’re what?”

“I- I”

“Have you been to the doctors?” He asked.

“Just like my regular doctor, she’s the one who confirmed it. I haven’t like made an appointment for anything else. I just felt like I had to come here first.” You confessed to him.

“Uh yeah. We can figure it out, ok? We’ll figure out something. I’d like to go with you to the appointment if that’s alright. He said.

“Yeah. I want you to be there. I do. Look, I should probably get going, but I’ll call you once I schedule the appointment.” You said to him.

“Yeah, please do.” He said as you walked out.

You didn’t know what you expected his reaction to be but it wasn’t this. He wasn’t mad, upset,angry, or anything like that. He actually seemed okay. At one point that’s all you two could talk about way the day you would finally have a family together. Now it’s just ironic the timing and situation of it all.

You called the OB office and set up the appointment. You had already called Harry to let him know about the appointment so he could plan to be there. As weird as it was, you were excited. You knew it was going to be messy and there was a lot that needed to be figured out.

“How are you feeling?” Harry asked as he held your hand as you sat on the table in the office.

“I feel fine really. Thank you again for coming with me.”

“I wouldn’t miss this for anything.” He said as he pressed a kiss to your cheek.

The next thing you knew the doctor was making her way in.

“Hello! How are you guys doing today?” She asked.

“Were good!” Harry said with a smile.

“I’m assuming you both are first time parents.” She asked.

“Yes.” You replied.

“So basically why were going to be going today is trying to determine how many weeks you are and do an ultrasound to try and get a heartbeat. I’m assuming it’s probably going to be too early too see very much but we’re gonna go ahead and give it a try and make sure the little one is doing well.” She said.

You both nodded. Harry’s face was lit up, he was excited. Obviously he was married and he had no idea how he was going to handle that one. But what he knew was that this is what he dreamed of since high school. Getting to start a family with the girl of his dreams. Even though this wasn’t the most ideal way, he wasn’t upset. He couldn’t be.

Both of you watched the doctor and the ultrasound technicians face drop. You knew something was wrong, you could tell.

“I’m very sorry, but there isn’t a heartbeat. I’m so sorry. I’ll give you two a moment.” She said as she walked out

Both of were in a state of shock. The small dream of having a family with him was crushed before it even started.

Both of you were sobbing uncontrollably into each other’s arms. You felt hopeless and heartbroken all at the same time.

“I’m so sorry love. I’m just so sorry. I’m sorry this happened. I’m sorry for what I’ve put you through I’m just sorry.” Harry said as he cried.

“I know you. I know..” You said.

After leaving the doctors office. It felt like something had shifted within you. Your once warm, loving, present demeanor now felt cold. You felt numb as if this was all happening to another person and not you.

After that day you had cut yourself off from Harry. He had tried calling and texting to see if you were okay. Maybe it was selfish to ignore him, but it was simply to painful to think about having to talk about it anymore. A dream that you had once had been ripped away and you just didn’t want to have to keep reliving by being in contact with Harry.

You went back to work pretty soon after, you took a couple personal days but you needed to work. You had missed the routine and the socialization. You needed to get out of your apartment and back into your everyday routine. If you didn’t you were gonna go insane.

“Can we talk?” Harry said as he walked into your office.

“I’m not really sure I’m in the mood to have the kind of conversation you’re looking for.” You confessed to him.

“We need to talk about it. I’ve let you be and let you have some space because I figured you needed. But you’re not the only one who lost something. You’re not the only person who’s extremely sad and feeling this way. You are making this all about you and that was my kid too!” Harry said noticeably upset and in pain.

“I wasn’t trying to make it about me. I just needed some time to think and process what had happened. I also just felt extremely stupid for believing everything would be all butterflies and rainbows and perfect. Who was I kidding? You’re married for goodness sakes! I don’t know why I got my hopes and wanted this so much. Maybe it’s good this didn’t happen. You can just go back to your life as normal and just forget about me.”

“Y/N, you don’t mean that do you?” He asked.

“I don’t know what I mean right now Harry. I just need time and to be alone. Go home to your wife.”

You needed to process this for yourself. You had lost more than just a child in all of this. Along the way you think you had lost yourself too. You had compromised your values and gotten yourself involved in a situation you shouldn’t even bothered with. But you were in love with him and you needed to be able to find it within yourself to not be in love with him anymore. You had to let him go. He wasn’t your husband he hadn’t been for a very long time and he wasn’t going to be ever again.

After everything had happened with Harry, you had asked Jeff if he was aware of any other positions you could take. You decided to leave Full Stop and head to New York and you got a job at a record label there.

It had been two years since you had left Los Angeles and you knew it was something that you had to do. You met this really awesome guy and you had been dating for the last six months. Harry was expecting a child with his wife and as much as it pained you, things were better off this way. You did what you had to do to be able to move on and finally let that part of your life go. You were happy and doing something for you for the first time in a long time. And that was something you were proud of.

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harrystyles #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles au #harry #harry styles series #harry one shot #harry styles angst #harry writing #one direction #one direction one shot

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suspiriu-m · 4 years

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Examining Youth Culture

Youth Culture in television in cinema is a theme we’ve all seen before. In some way or another, we’ve all probably related or even seen ourselves in something we’ve watched. A lot of experiences we see in these coming of age style pieces most of the time have something to do with at least one of three recurring themes. Sex, drugs and alcohol. Character archetypes are also an important part of these stories too. To sum it up, we’re generally confronted with Jocks, Nerds, Goths, Popular Kids, Pot Heads etc.

A major point to take into account when looking at this type of media is the perspective the story is told from, and where it’s taking place. For example, Barry Jenkins’ 2016 film Moonlight, is completely different from 2018’s Love Simon, directed by Greg Berlanti. Moonlight tells the story of a young Black man named Chiron. Through three different time periods in his life, we see him come to terms with his identity and sexuality, all while living with his drug addicted mother in an impoverished neighborhood in Miami. Throughout the film Chiron not only faces the struggles of his sexuality within himself, but how his unaccepting peers react, his mess of a mother, and maneuvering masculinity without the guidance of his missing father. In a review written for The Guardian, Peter Bradshaw says that Moonlight

“is a film about masculinity, the wounds and crises of which are the same for all sexualities, but conditioned by the background weather of race and class” ((Bradshaw Moonlight review – a visually ravishing portrait of masculinity).

Love Simon however, is a completely different ballgame. The juxtaposition between the two films is extremely noticeable, even from just from looking at their promotional images. While Moonlight is more of a serious, realistic and emotionally charged movie, Love Simon has more of a young adult, coming of age, happily ever after tone to it. In the film, the main character has to find his way through growing up, high school, coming out to his friends and family, but most importantly figuring out how Blue is. Blue is the person that Simon has formed a connection with through emailing each other. The only problem? He has absolutely no idea who Blue even is. One of the more important aspects of this film when looking to compare it to others is the fact that the main character and most of the cast are all white. Not only that, but it takes place in a much more suburban setting compared to that of Moonlight. Simon’s relationship with his parents is very strong, his friends are all super close to him and the impression is given that they would obviously support him once he comes out. Surprise, they do.

In terms of which character I related to from the selection of films and shows assigned, I don’t really feel like I can truthfully say that I felt some sort of connection with them. Being gay myself, there wasn’t a crazy amount of representation in terms of queer youth in the films. Yes in Mean Girls you had Damian but he was kind of underutilized and exaggerated. In Euphoria you have Jules who is a trans woman but that also isn’t something that I’ve experienced and won’t pretend to. Could I relate to a few aspects of her character? Of course, i’m sure anybody can. But am I able to say I identify with her? Definitely not. That’s not a bad thing though, trans stories need to be represented in the media. More importantly they don’t always have to be represented in some tragic story or situation. Even though we’ve seen more queer representation today than ever before. We still have a long way to go. Rachel Bays wrote an article for The Advance-Titan stating

“Out of 109 major studio releases in 2017 researched by GLAAD, roughly 13% had LGBTQ characters. Of these films, about 64% featured gay men, 36% featured lesbians, 14% featured bisexuals and 0% featured trans-inclusive content”(Bays The complicated history of queer representation in film: The Advance).

It’s imperative that we see more queer representation mashed with Youth Culture in our media because not every single person experiences the same thing, especially queer kids. In terms of Kids, Saved By The Bell and Mid 90’s, I don’t specifically remember any particular moments in which I personally felt any sort of strong connection.

Now, if we’re gonna speak about common themes in a lot of these stories, then here is where I can say I definitely connected with some situations more than specific characters. Sex, drugs and alcohol are topics we see come up in a lot of coming of age or youth centered stories. In Kids, the main cast is basically parading around the city smoking, drinking and fornicating multiple times throughout the entire day. In Euphoria, one of the main characters Rue suffers from drug addiction. Kat comes to terms with her sexual awakening and a lot of her storyline is focused on her coming in touch with that side of her, whether or not it was the best way to portray it. And most of the other characters are all seen smoking, drinking out having sex at some point in the series.

Growing up, especially in our teen years, we’ve all had the opportunity to partake in at least one of those activities previously mentioned. I know for a fact that I have definitely been to parties, drank alcohol, smoked weed. I’ve encountered hookups and the whole nine yards. Something that really stood out to me in Euphoria was the episode in which Jules ends up meeting with an older man in a hotel room late at night. We shall not name the character for sake of spoilers but those of you who watched know exactly who i’m talking about. That entire scene was just gut wrenching for me to watch and I know it was for many other young queer people as well. Everything about that scene was purposefully uncomfortable to watch from the cinematography, music, acting and the location.

Speaking of music, the soundtrack to a film or TV show is super important and a lot of the time helps the creators in getting their point across. Euphoria specifically used a lot of modern music but also threw in some classics as well. The singer-songwriter Labrinth played a big role in adding music to the show’s soundtrack. He even collaborated with Zendaya in making All For Us, the show’s theme and closing track. It was premiered in the last episode of the series and incorporated into the storyline with a performance by Zendaya herself. This song specifically is so important aside from the rest of the show’s music because it aids in showing Rue’s downfall at the end of the season. She goes through so much in her recovery and relapsing and her relationship with Jules that when Jules finally decides to hop on that train and leave even though Rue tells her it’s not the best idea, it absolutely crushed her. In an interview for Rolling Stone magazine, Labrinth stated “When you look back to your teenage days... it feels semi-magical but semi-crazy and semi-psychotic. I wanted to make sure the music felt like those things”(Marks How Labrinth Created the Perfect Soundtrack for HBO's 'Euphoria').

To help convey how certain songs can help in telling a story, I created a short playlist with songs that I felt matched certain plot points in the show. Without going into too much detail in an attempt to avoid spoilers, I want to give you guys a short explanation of each song about how I feel it can fit into the show. In no exact order, the first song I chose was Regulars by Allie X. The song is about trying to fit in with society and the people around you when you feel out of place all the time. Personally, I feel like this is a good representation of Rue when she comes home from rehab and has to try and blend back into society knowing that everybody knows where she was. Halsey’s Beautiful Stranger is about meeting somebody after being hurt so many times, or just being in a bad headspace and finally feeling like this person could be the one. This is a good explanation for how Rue feels about Jules when she first meets her. She’s hesitant but slowly starts to fall in love with her before Jules starts acting out. Contaminated by Banks is a piece about loving somebody but having their history or the other person's actions make you feel not so good about the relationship you have with them. This is how Rue feels after her first little fallout with Jules. They kind of have an on and off relationship throughout the season and Rue subconsciously has doubts. Simmer by Hayley Williams is a song about suppression. Suppressing your emotions, especially the bad ones like anger, fear, sadness, rage. Nate in the series suffers with a lot of mental suppression. He suppresses his feelings about his relationship with his father, his questioning sexuality, his feelings for a specific character. Although he does lose his cool multiple times throughout the show, it’s not until the end of the season that he really bursts and lets everything out. Another song from Hayley Williams with her band Paramore called Fake Happy is also on the playlist. Fake Happy, to put it simply, is exactly what the title suggests. Pretending to be okay when you’re really not. In the show Rue relapses a few times whether that be big or small, and she has to hide it from her friends and family.

Maddy and Cassie are both the pretty popular girls of this show, leading me to choose Rina Sawayama’s XS as a representation of them. The title XS, otherwise interpreted as “excess” is literally about money, appearance and materialistic items. All of which Cassie and Maddy display throughout the show. The popular cheerleaders with the nice clothes and toned bodies, the pretty makeup and done up hair. It’s a perfect representation of their characters in my opinion. Even though they do have storylines going deeper into their minds, this is what they portray on the surface level.

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Hallucinogenics by Matt Masson is a song about going somewhere else most likely due to drugs, and feeling like a different person. Although the song is a bit lighthearted in terms of sound, I think it fits with the scene with Jules and Rue taking drugs together and tripping in her room together. Rue was wary about doing it especially after the fact that she just got clean, and she already has this war in her mind going on but she does it anyways because she likes Jules. Attack of Panic by Aly & Aj heavily focuses on anxiety, which is something Rue deals with multiple times throughout the show. Especially the episode when she’s in school and pretty much has a mental breakdown and runs to the bathroom and hides. Even though the character Kat isn’t the primary focus of the show, her storyline has a bit of line shined upon it multiple times. For her storyline i chose Doja Cat’s Cyber Sex. Kat becomes a cam girl at one point in her sexual awakening and kind of goes full throttle into it. The song talks about having sexual relations with somebody over the internet and that’s exactly what Kat does, except she sees it more as a way to make an income.

Last but not least, I of course had to choose Labrinth and Zendaya’s song made for the show All for Us. The song represents Rue’s feelings of not wanting to let her family down, knowing the struggles and pain they have gone through and not wanting to upset or disappoint them again. Everything she’s done to get clean and sober up has been because of them. She loves her family so dearly but in the end she just broke down again, all because of Jules and the mess that she got herself involved with pertaining to many of the other characters she meets throughout the show. I hope you guys enjoy the playlist and take a good listen to the lyrics and themes in each song! They might not be perfect, but to me they have a lot of commonalities with themes and specific moments and themes from the show!

https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/playlist-for-euphoria/pl.u-AGAaiylr2l

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oveliagirlhaditright · 5 years

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Summary: For @bluerosesburnblue, since she was having a hard time lately and loves sibling relationships. Some Nox Fleuret siblings bonding that we should have had:)

I Love You, I Want You to Know Ravus’ PoV As Ravus and Lunafreya did something different for a change, in having breakfast in Tenebrae’s go-to outdoor café, he couldn’t help noticing that she was eating those high-calorie cakes again and Ravus couldn't have been happier for this: Lunafreya deserved this little bit of happiness in her life, since she denied herself so much. And though Ravus did think she'd lost herself some, since becoming Oracle, perhaps this was a hint that pieces of her old personality were still there somewhere. ...Though Ravus and Lunafreya had been fighting a lot lately--and he'd never understand how she couldn't take his side on the issues of Lucis and the "King of Kings"--they were having a nice time now; and it was actually Lunafreya had invited him here, since she still had some short time before her Oracle duties and he wasn’t due to train his troops for a while, either. "Sister," Ravus chuckled at the expense of the sibling who had always meant so much to him, "Why do you like these cakes so much? Is it the flavor, or the color... or-" In some ways, Ravus thought it was ludicrous to assume that his baby sister would like a certain food, just by the look of it. But one ate with their eyes first, did they not? And surprisingly enough, his guess ended up being true! "I love the red of the strawberries," Lunafreya said around a mouthful of said fruit. "In Tenebrae, we mostly have sylleblossoms. It's true. But every now and then we get lovely red carnations. This reminds me of that." "You always have loved your flowers," Ravus mumbled absentmindedly. Their late mother had been the same, and it made him love Lunafreya all the more for it. "But I find the real question, is why do you love this chocolate dessert as much as I do, brother?" Lunafreya asked cheekily, to which Ravus could only blush and stammer. Should he tell her he was playing the part of the typical girl here, and just loved chocolate? But before Ravus could think what to answer, Lunafreya was already coming up with one for him. "Is it because you do see Prince Noctis as a friend, and thus love our country’s signature tart because he does?" And there was the topic that always pulled the siblings away from each other… That selfish "Chosen King" who would have his sister sacrifice herself for him just to show him the way! How Ravus wished he could set him on fire… Lunafreya was teasing her, because of course she was, but Ravus had to know what had ever possessed her to joke about this. But then again… Ravus thought maybe he ought to keep his temper. Because Lunafreya actually being brave enough to talk to him about the “love of hers”, that she knew he despised, must have said she was starting to trust him again. But he did take an angry swig of his tea, and somewhat slammed the cup down back onto its saucer before deciding to dignify that with a response. "Lunafreya, are you blind? I am not talking of the Memory Lane Pastry... that that prince apparently loves so much, but rather of chocolate cake here. Sometimes the simplest things, with just a bit of fruit added on top for flavor, are the best." And since before Tenebrae had become annexed by the Empire, the siblings had spent quite a bit of time cooking with their mother—and were somewhat experts—Lunafreya seemingly giggled, in knowing how this should have been untrue for their palettes, but somehow wasn’t for Ravus. Sensing that the conversation had gone into a good place again, Ravus decided to keep it up: as the waitress deigned to bring the two their breakfasts (ever since Lunafreya had ascended as Oracle, they had their dessert first)."...So, Lunafreya," Ravus began, as he dug into his scrambled eggs with ketchup while his his sister ate toast with melted peanut butter on top of it. "Just- just for fun, I swear. I'm not harping on your career choice today... but if you could be anything other than the Oracle, what would it be?" Lunafreya had a certain look in her eyes as Ravus said this, that he couldn't quite figure out. She also seemed to be contemplating putting butter on her toast as well, as a single serving of it shook within her hand? But finally, she said--even blushing some while she spoke--"A model, of course. Can't you tell by all the fancy clothes I buy--one of the only luxuries that I allow myself--that I love fashion? And, no: when the media just happens to get a bad picture of me and they post it in a magazine because they like my makeup, or whatever... that doesn't count." Ravus winced at the last, because while he'd always think his sister was beautiful, he had seen some of those images himself and she did always seem awkward in them. "What about you, brother?" Lunafreya questioned with a kind smile on her face, as she reached over and cut a piece of Ravus’ eggs that would have been too big for him to chew. Ravus instantly thanked her for that, because he actually hadn't seen it and probably would have choked without his sister's healing assistance... so perhaps she really was meant to be the Oracle, after all. "...My answer’s… not as exciting as yours, Lunafreya: it's not much different than what I do now: but I would have liked to be a fencer. Doing swordplay, while not having to kill for Niflheim, would have been a dream." Ravus had actually thought Lunafreya would laugh at him for the admission, but she seemed to be in awe more than anything else. Perhaps she was imagining him in fencer’s gear and going to his matches to cheer him on after school: it was the life they should have had. But her fascination was over quickly, and Ravus noticed at once when his sister got a mischievous glint in her eyes. She seemed to want to reach across the table and take his hand in hers, like they were gossiping girl friends, but in the end she did not. And Ravus did not know if he was relieved for this or sad. "I suppose it's not overtly exciting, Ravus. But you know what is? The feelings I know that Miss Highwind has for you! And every day she's becoming more and more fed up with the Empire! You should pursue her!" ...Ravus didn't know what it was in the coding for siblings, that the thought of Noctis at all touching his little sister made him want to destroy the world, but meanwhile, she enjoyed speculating about his live life... but it was certainly something that was there. And something that was annoying. "I swear she doesn't have feelings for me, Lunafreya! Please drop it!" And Ravus said this not because he doubted that Lunafreya was wrong about the woman... but because he was gay--something that no one else knew--and the idea of him with a girl made him very uncomfortable. And there must have been something in his angry outburst, because Lunafreya gasped loudly and put a hand over her mouth as she looked at Ravus in shock. "Oh, Ravus! I'm so sorry that I didn't know until now. I'm so sorry!" There was a ridiculous inner part of Ravus—that must have been a little girl--that wanted to cry for the situation now, but he did not… For it actually felt somewhat… good to get this all out in the open. And while there were people now eavesdropping on this conversation between the Niflheim army commander and the Oracle, he found that he couldn't have cared less. "This whole breakfast, you've been trying to reach out to me, Ravus, when I should have been doing so to you for so long." Ravus started to hold his hand up to let Lunafreya know that what she was saying was ludicrous, and that of course he--the older brother—should be the one focusing on the little sibling. But he felt himself holding back... Truthfully, it did feel good to feel cared about by Lunafreya again. He smiled at her, as he evilly stole a piece of her own dessert now. Things between them weren't perfect: someone soon noticed that the Oracle was at a table near them, and came to her in begging for healing—which of course Lunafreya gave. And so with that, Ravus was again reminded of how he hated her Calling, and the knowledge that she'd always put that before everything else. But today, he felt more hope between them than he had in a long time... so perhaps it was a sign of good things to come. And after Ravus eventually chose to stand by this… this Chosen King—all because the kid had finally manned up when the butler that he didn't deserve, went and tried to kill the Chancellor after he'd kidnapper him—Ravus realized he had been right to believe all those years ago. Noctis had somehow found a way to bring their Lunafreya—no, Luna—back, and now she was running into Ravus’ arms: the promise of the future for them finally in sight.

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annmargarette0809 · 4 years

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How to Become a Successful Freelancer (A 5-Step Guide)

Did you know that according to PayPal's 2018 Global Freelancer Insights Report, at least 2% of the Philippines' population is said to be freelancers? The report also found that 84% of freelancers use a freelancer online platform such as Upwork and Freelancer.

Working on a freelance basis can feel incredibly liberating. Being your own boss, a relaxed working schedule and cherry picking your projects are among the most alluring benefits. You're in complete control of your own destiny and have more control over your working life than most people who work a 9:00 to 5:00 office job. Well, reality is a tiny bit different. Freelancing is no Cake Walk! Self-employment may come with the desired flexibility. But, such flexibility has its own downsides, not to forget. You have to figure out how well are you ready to treat yourself like a business owner? Where do you begin? What processes and structures do you need to have in place? How do you find clients? And how do you know how much to charge?

Freelancing is not just sitting at home and work comes to you. The reality is you have to fight for it, and fight hard. As freelancer, you have to maintain your dignity as being a boss of your own and practicing patience radically increases your capacity for success.

In this blog post, I am going to share with you the Top 5 secrets to Becoming a Successful Freelancer coming from an expert view. “First: you must strive. Nothing good is ever easy.” says Emil Lamprecht, an avid startup and personal advisor in Berlin. He has 7 years of freelance with clients across the globe. He shares the most essential tips on becoming succesful freelancer in your chosen niché.

1. Contact everyone you know.

Literally. Everyone.

A robust network is a freelancer’s best friend. The goal is to start your business with “a group of people who really care about you” and who are ready to support you along the way. Reach out to the people closest to you to let them know what you’re doing.

This doesn’t have to feel like you’re begging for work though. In fact, taking people you like out to coffee or lunch “before you have an ‘ask’” and offering to help them out in any way you can. “It’s the equivalent of doing informational interviews. You’re just making clear the kind of work you’re doing now and that you’re available to help anyone who might need it.

Being in touch with your network isn’t just important at the beginning. It’s crucial to build time into your schedule going forward to continue networking. You never want to be so busy that you can’t reach out to the people who can help you.

2. Work on your Personal Brand.

The reason is that as a freelancer, YOU ARE YOUR BRAND.

So help me god [or deity of choice], this is a truth among truths, irrespective of whether you’re a web developer, a user experience designer, a writer or a marketer.

What do I mean when I say you are your brand?

I mean that when you are selling your services, you are actually selling yourself. So how you come across online or off is reflective of your success, your ability, and your professionalism. Your personality counts. Big time. If people don’t like you, they won’t buy what you’re selling.

So, how did I build my personal brand?

1. I got myself on LinkedIn and I fully filled out my profile. Every single detail of my experience. Every relevant job I ever had. Every morsel about me that could be interesting.

2. I then did the same thing on Facebook. I joined relevant groups for my field and started asking questions, lots of questions, as well as answering any I could.

3. I did the same on Twitter.

4. And on Instagram.

5. And when it was made available I did the same with Quora, which has become the fact-filled platform for experts.

6. I then went to every industry-relevant event I could find, afford and get to, and hustled like a maniac.

If you’re someone who still believes social media is the devil, you’re in trouble, because it’s never a single tactic that will get you anywhere, it’s a combination of many intelligently coordinated pieces.

Asking and answering questions is the easiest way to get people involved and invested in what you do, and while you could meet 15 people during a night out, you could meet 100 online. And perhaps yes, the contact is “shallower” but you can be a hell of lot more targeted. So I recommend starting online, understanding who’s important for you, pre-empting offline events by connecting with people via Twitter, and leveraging LinkedIn connections into meetings for coffee.

If you combine a strong digital brand with meeting people in person, you’ll make yourself:

Easy to find

Easy to remember

Good to know

You want to be understood as an expert and an influencer in your field, and in a world where most industry communication is digital, you better be all over it!

Just remember not to get discouraged if you don’t get 1000 Twitter followers instantly, because what’s important here is that quality wins over quantity every time. Stay focused, stay targeted and talk to every new connection like they’re your best friend.

And vice versa, if you’re awkward and depend entirely on social media to drive your network, you’re doing it wrong. You have to get out, you have to meet people and confirm that you’re real and worth investing in. As Jon Norris explained:

“Although it can be awkward attending networking events, it’s a great way to build contacts. Get out there, hand out business cards and make friends.”

3. Write a Plan of Action.

I want you to pay very close attention to the next statement.

Never, ever, undervalue time taken to plan. Never.

For each of those 30 days before I quit my job I had a goal. Sometimes that goal was to email a relevant contact in my field asking for advice. Sometimes that goal was to expand my network by X number of people, answer a certain number of questions, or attend a meetup.

And sometimes it was simply to plan out the next steps.

For each of those 30 days I wrote down my trials and tribulations into a short (often emotional) blog post, charting my ups and downs in that final month before taking the leap.

I also carefully drafted and redrafted a personal business plan, including my financial requirements, goals, and how I thought that would actually translate into work. I realized that if I landed the equivalent of 2 short projects a month, I could survive. Well barely, but it’s good to know where your survival limit is, because when push comes to shove, it’s accomplish that goal or be stuck eating dry toast for a month.

Unless you’re one of these eternally adventurous types, freelancing is no fun as a hand-to-mouth game. Nobody chooses this path with the goal of living on a financial knife edge. And by the way, it’s ok to be scared, in fact if you’re not, you’re either invincible or a dumb ass, so keep your eyes open, know your limits, and plan accordingly.

I also used this as another excuse to grow my network, reaching out to experts in my industry to ask for advice:

· How much should I charge?

· Where do I best find my clients?

· How difficult is it to close a deal?

· Should I template my pitches or create new ones every time?

This created an opportunity to learn, improve and perfect the skills I would need in a month while growing a power-network of professionals in the field. Two birds in one stone at its finest!

Do your research and pay attention to competition.

Whether it was hours scanning social media, reading blog posts like this one, offering my services to friends, or just generally building a network however I could, I absorbed as much information as possible.

Sure, it’s overwhelming; anyone who has spent a 4 hour stint on a single topic online knows that the rabbit hole is deep, and easy to get sucked into. At the end of the day, you have to pick and choose what’s important for you, but what I found most helpful was taking a real good look at what my competition were doing. And there is always competition.

Looking closely at what others were doing, I found out 3 things that helped me a lot:

1. I had local competition, and I mean local. As in down the street from me. But even if they had been doing it for a while, they didn’t seem to be effectively marketing themselves, it took effort to find them.

2. People who were looking for someone of my expertise had no central data bank to find me, or other freelancers like me. I had to be in the right place at the right time.

3. I could easily differentiate myself from my competition by having an attractive personality, and a digital presence.

Leif Kendall likes to tell people to:

“Deliver work that is better than anything your competitors are doing.”

and truthfully, I couldn’t agree more. Maybe you have a lot of experience, and maybe you don’t, but your job is to perform better than everyone else in your field, both in the work you do, and the way you act.

But how did I know what my competition were actually doing?

Remember that old adage “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer”? This is one way of looking at it, but in a world of freelancing where your network is everything, you can’t afford to have enemies at all. So try this instead: “Keep your friends close, and make friends with your enemies.”

Don’t be guarded, don’t be defensive. Share, trade, and exchange what you can from your own knowledge and then keep doing it better, and better, and better, and better, and better, and better.

In the end, you’ll find that some people have big egos, but a lot of people are happy to have a friend. Freelancing can be a bit lonely sometimes as by its definition you often lack those daily colleagues who understand the work you do. A lot of people out there are just like you, and happy to have someone they can relate to about work, and even share a bit of knowledge and experience.

Get yourself a mentor—and your first client.

The best piece of advice I ever received was simple in theory and tough in practice:

“Don’t burn any bridges.”

If you’re a freelancer, this quote should be read in all capslock and underlined, because you can’t afford to. Every contact counts , and on behalf of your reputation and livelihood, although it’s very tempting to give your boss the finger as you storm out the door, it’s not something you can afford to do, ever.

No one likes “kissing ass” and I don’t really recommend it, but now that you’re leaving you need your employer more than ever before, because face it: your current employer is your strongest link to your first job as a freelancer. If your job is at all related to what you plan to do, they may themselves be your first client.

In my case, the karaoke bar owner would eventually make it very clear that he “didn’t give a flying f&%$” what I was doing beyond his bar. But I needed something, so I went and found myself a mentor. Aka, I willingly became a slave to an influencer in my industry. It was the smartest decision I ever made because despite totally over-working myself, I sure enough gained Experience, made Contacts, and walked away with one hell of a Reference.

Oh, and yes, I did this on top of the study, the job, and the prep. If you want something, don’t half ass it.

So how did I manage to get myself a mentor?

Well if you have a boss who knows anything, that’s the best place to start. But if you’ve read this article then you can probably guess how I did it: I networked like a maniac, showed my plan of action, and proved I knew how to work like the competition.

In the end, I convinced my would-be mentor that I was worth that little bit of time and effort, and sure enough Richard Levy passed me my first client after only a couple weeks. And Bam! I was officially a freelancer, on schedule and making money.

Whether it’s a boss, mentor, professor, uncle, slave driver, or homeless dude with good advice, the people you see daily are most likely to have the biggest impact on your transition. So be accommodating, be thankful and be willing to work your ass off for an opportunity to do what you love.

As Rik Lomas wrote in his blog post about freelancing on Medium:

“Do not piss people off. Remember that you’re a professional and are soon to be leader of your own company. Act like it.”

So finally….

So what’s my last piece of advice? What’s that final nugget of understanding you need to open the doors to your new career, new lifestyle, and impending financial freedom?

The simple answer is that there isn’t one. There is no one solution, there is no one path. Your puzzle is your own! And understanding how the pieces fit together is what will guarantee your success.

If you’re hunting for that single piece of magical advice that will get you out of your job and thousands of clients a year, let me tell you, it doesn’t exist. Like in life, relationships, and all other forms of comedy, it’s your ability to understand the big picture and refine each detail to pixel-perfect clarity that makes you who you are and good at what you do.

So my advice is don’t forget that, don’t get hung up on singularity in a world full of complication, because what will make you successful is knowing how to apply who you are to what you want to do to the best of your ability.

As for the rest of what you need to know? Start by reading this article! People will say you’re crazy to set out on this path of uncertainty, which if you’re like me is just confirmation that you should be doing it! Freelancing is something you really have to want, and be prepared to work hard for. And the result of that is a lifestyle, and a sense of freedom that is unrivalled by any other job in the world.

So prep it, work it, and then LIVE IT for all your worth!

URL. https://annmargarettelandi.wixsite.com/admin1/post/how-to-become-a-successful-freelancer-a-5-step-guide-1

#freelancing

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hellimagines · 6 years

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18 Months (Part Three) -- Michael Langdon

Masterlist

Summary: After Michael passes the Seven Wonders, you return to Miss. Robichaux’s, and your friendship with one another grows over the phone.

Warnings: Hella flirting

Pairing: Michael Langdon x fem!reader

Word Count: 5,600+

A/N: I’ma be honest with you guys; I don’t remember much of Coven, and I haven’t had any time to rewatch it, so if I’ve gotten anything wrong, please let me know and I’ll gladly fix it! Also, I wish I could insert emojis in GD bc of texts. Instead, I had to use cringey aesterics. Circa 2012 culture guys. Also 2.0, I tried to write Michael’s character as well as I could, but I’m sorry if he seems a little ooc.

18 Months Masterlist

You stood in the Hawthorne library, staring up at the walls of books in fascination. You were sure that there were plenty of books similar to the ones at Miss. Robichaux’s, but you also knew there had to be plenty of different ones; ones you’d never even heard of. Your fingers itched to pull them from their shelves and start flipping through them, to see if there was any new magic or knowledge you could discover- but, you knew better. These books weren’t yours, and the warlocks didn’t see you as a guest, so you had no right to start taking things from their rightful places. The door of the library hesitantly creaked up, and you paused your ogling to see who had come in.

“Michael?” you hummed, fully turning to face him once the blond had entered the room. You had briefly seen Michael when your coven had gotten to the school earlier that morning before he was being rushed off for some last-minute preparations for his test tomorrow.

“Hello,” he greeted, shutting the door and walking over to you. “I didn’t have the opportunity to say hello to you earlier, so I thought I’d do it now.”

“How’d you know I’d be here?” you grinned, looking back up at the books once he had come to a stop at your side.

“The same way you knew I’d be at the fire pit.”

“A guess.” The two of you spoke at the same time. You nodded in understanding and allowed the silence of the room to close off the conversation. You both just stood there for a while, staring up at that one particular wall of books. There wasn’t anything obviously special about it, simply the bindings of roughly a hundred books looking down at you, in all sizes and colors. The books didn’t even seem to be organized in any certain way either- the last names of the authors weren’t alphabetical, and neither were the titles. Hell, it wasn’t even color coded. After a while, you started trying to figure out if there was some sort of pattern you weren’t seeing.

“You’re staring at the books like they killed your grandmother,” Michael spoke after a while. You looked up at him and shook your head with a frown.

“They’re not organized…” you said softly, glaring up at the books once more. Michael snorted in disbelief, turning his body slightly so he could cross his arms at you.

“You’re mad at the books because they’re not organized?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Uh, yeah,” you scoffed, crossing your own arms and staring up at him. “How do you boys even find anything?”

“This little, precious thing called magic,” Michael mocked, waving his hand in the air. In an instant, he held a large, black, hardcover book in his hands.

“House of Leaves?” you questioned, instantly recognizing the cover. “Oh, and your smartass comment? Real cute, Langdon.”

Michael snickered and flipped the book over to show off the cover and reveal the title. “Have you read it before?”

“Yeah, it’s interesting. Took a while because I really wanted to understand the story and the house, but it was good. Why’d you choose it?” you asked, reaching out and grabbing it from his hands.

“I used to read it as a child. It… reminded me of home, you could say,” he smirked. You nodded and left the conversation at that. “So, if you guys need a book, you just wave your hand?”

“Yeah. Are you telling me you don’t?”

“No, we use our hands. You can’t rely on magic for everything, that’s what my mother says. Besides, if you get too used to it, you’ll slip up in public. Probably get burned alive,” you shrugged, watching as Michael rolled his eyes.

“Now, isn’t that a lovely thought,” he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “But this isn’t public, now is it? We are underground, in a library, with just the two of us. If yo-”

“The way you talk makes me think you’re trying to hook up.” Your interruption stopped Michael abruptly, causing him to nearly choke on his words. He stared at you, mouth slightly agape while trying to come up with a response. You grinned wickedly at your ability to shut Michael Langdon up, waiting until he took a ragged breath.

“Having sex in a dusty library isn’t on my bucket list, darling,” Michael drawled, taking a dangerous step forward.

“That’s a shame,” you shrugged, slamming the book you were holding into his chest. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready for the Seven Wonders?” you asked, veering the conversation completely off topic, as you walked over to the nearby couch.

“I’ve been getting ready for two weeks. I feel as though I’m fairly prepared,” Michael replied walking over to you. “Shouldn’t you be with your witches?”

“No, they’re all asleep. I wanted to find a book to read to help me sleep, but I didn’t expect to be greeted by an unorganized library,” you sighed, pulling your knees to your chest and tucking yourself into the corner of the couch.

“Are you ever going to drop that?”

“No. Not until you lot organize this place.”

“Why don’t you organize it for us?”

“Because I’m not your fucking maid, Michael,” you snapped, causing Michael to laugh at your anger. Michael sat himself on the other end of the couch, stretching his legs out and draping his arm over the back.

He tossed the book you had shoved at him back to you, and you caught it with a raised eyebrow. “Your reading material for tonight. Maybe it’ll help you fall asleep.”

“Honestly, this entire conversation has put me in a sleepy mood,” you said but held the book in your lap regardless.

“Oh, that so? Am I not intellectually stimulating?” Michael questioned.

“No, you’re not. I doubt you’re stimulating in any department, truthfully. Maybe after you pass the test tomorrow you’ll be a bit more interesting,” you grinned, noticing the way Michael’s lips twitched.

“Are you questioning my ability to please a person in bed?” Michael gasped in mock-offense.

“Yes, darling, I am,” you laughed.

“So what you’re saying, is that when I pass the test tomorrow,” Michael began slowly, moving so he was beside you on the couch, “I’ll be better able to make someone’s legs shake when they’re beneath me?”

Your breath hitched, but you kept your expression neutral. “Depends on how well of a reigning Supreme you become,” you whispered, trying your hardest to keep your gaze focused on Michael’s blue eyes rather than his lips.

Michael hummed gently and reached over, pushing a piece of (h/c) hair out of your face. “Well, I’ll be the Alpha, love, not the Supreme. So when I do win the test tomorrow, I suppose the two of us will just have to find out how interesting I really am, hm?” Michael practically purred.

“In your dreams, handsome,” you scoffed, despite the raging blush on your cheeks. “It’ll take a lot more than a title to get you in bed with me.”

“So you’re saying it is possible then?” Michael grinned, tilting his head. His knees were pressed against yours and his arm was resting behind your shoulders, on the couch.

“It could be, but who knows. We’ll just have to wait and see. Besides, I never said you were my type,” you smirked, placing your hand on his knee, before roughly pushing down and lifting yourself off of the couch. Michael hissed and stood up as well, following you.

“Leaving the conversation so soon? It was just getting interesting,” Michael complained, gently grabbing ahold of your wrist to keep you from leaving. Where he touched, blossomed with cold, and it felt nice with the crackling of the library fire so close. You turned and held up the book in your hands.

“Reading material, remember? Besides, wouldn’t want you to fail your test tomorrow. Wouldn’t be very interesting of you, now would it?” you pouted. Michael tugged on your wrist, and with a roll of your eyes, you let him pull you close.

“I won’t forget this conversation, fox. And when I pass, I’ll show you just how interesting I can be.”

“Hm, I sure you’d love to do that. But like I said, you’re gonna need to work extra hard to get me in your grasp. So, don’t count on it,” you tsked.

“Looks like I already have you in my grasp,” Michael countered, moving his hand to rest on your waist. You grinned and shook your head at his persistence.

“Yes, but not as tightly as I know you want me to be. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a book to read,” you stated, and spun out of his hold. You waved at Michael over your shoulder, before disappearing through the library door, allowing it to slam shut behind you.

That night, though only two nights ago, seemed so far in the past. Now, standing in the foyer of Miss. Robichaux’s Academy, you found yourself clutching the book Michael had given you, House of Leaves, in one hand, and your duffle bag in the other. You had just gotten back from Hawthorne, and you were saddened to find out that Madison had stayed behind in California to connect with some old Hollywood socialites, to get her name back in the media. You had just gotten Madison back, a mere two weeks ago, and she was gone already for who knows how long. You understood her reasoning, but you still felt saddened, and alone. Zoe had Queenie now, and your mother and Myrtle were doting all over Misty, which left you to your own devices. Nodding to yourself, you hiked your bag higher on your shoulder and made your way up to your room, passing a few new students on the way.

It was weird seeing the academy so full. You were used to three or four girls, maybe five; but never over a dozen. Ever since your mother’s tour, young girls had been ringing the phone left and right, believing they were witches. Some were right, they indeed had gifted abilities and needed help. But others just knew how to tie a string to a lamp and tug on it. It had gotten exhausting weeding them all out through the years, but it was worth it to help the true witches, and to see the smile on your mother’s face each time the doors opened for someone new. And now that Michael had passed the test, and was the new Supreme, things were going to change. Which meant the more girls walking through that door, the better. Even if you had to dodge random flying objects at any point in time, or clean up a magical mess that had happened, or help assist with a traumatized girl who still couldn’t control her powers, or weren’t able to eat a meal because all the food had been snatched up, it was worth it. At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself.

Once you got to your room, you tossed your bag onto your bed and collapsed beside it. Your body felt unnaturally hot, like you had gone skinning dipping in a volcano. You didn’t know why, because the thermostat downstairs read 64° and everybody else seemed fine. But you were just so fucking hot. With a heavy sigh, you flicked your wrist and summoned a fresh pair of clothes. Normally you wouldn’t have done that, you took your mother’s words seriously, but you didn’t want to move, and like Michael had said, it’s not like you were in public. You stood up, kicked off your shoes, and grabbed your phone before heading towards your bathroom. An ice cold shower should help do the trick.

Once you had stripped and were moments away before you were about to enter the shower, your phone dinged. Your heart stuttered, and your hand shook as you quickly lifted it from the counter.

Supreme Crunchwrap- ‘How’s Cordelia’

‘She’s okay. With Misty and Myrtle downstairs, I think giving the title away is what hurt her the most’

‘Most likely. You doing better than yesterday?’

‘Oh, is the supreme showing interest in little ole me and my feelings?? *eye roll emoji*’

‘We’ve talked about this Foxx. I’m the Alpha not the Supreme’

*Supreme Crunchwrap’s name has been changed to Alpha Schmalpha*

‘Stop calling me Foxx and we have a deal *double eye emoji*’

‘Now why would I do a thing like that? You’re a fox and you know it’

‘u trippin supreme’

‘Whatever you say, Goode.’

‘Wasn’t so hard, now was it?’

‘My thumbs burn.’

‘Oof, I’m getting the periods. Is the alpha all grumpy now? *deep frown emoji*’

‘Now, that wasn’t so hard was it?’

‘You gonna stop using periods?’

‘I suppose so’

‘hell yeah’

Once you had sent your final text, you realized that you had been standing there for roughly ten minutes. You hurriedly tossed your phone to the side, disregarding any new texts, before jumping into the shower. Your scorching body temperature had been forgotten while you were texting Michael, almost as if you weren’t even hot, but the second the cold water hit your skin, you were moaning out loud. You were positive steam had to be coming off of your skin at the contrast in temperature, but you had your eyes squeezed shut, simply enjoying the cold water. If you were being honest with yourself, which you usually weren’t, you did miss Michael. The two of you had shared a couple, few-minute moments together, but to you, they felt like hundreds of hours.

Sometimes, when you were upset, Michael would text or call you, like he knew something was wrong, and tell you the most random thing known to man. Like asking about your mother, when your skin was burning you alive. Or texting you about how in Switzerland, it’s illegal to only own one guinea pig, while you had been on the plane, pouting about Madison being gone and staring at Queenie and Zoe gossiping in the corner. That one had made you laugh out loud. Or that time a week or so ago, when you and Mallory had gone at it again, resulting in bruises and harsh words. Michael had called you only seconds after you had stormed to your room and slammed the door shut. When you answered the phone, you had obviously yelled at him, but after talking with you a minute or so, he had managed to help calm you down and you were able to apologize. Michael just laughed over the phone, called you an idiot, and hung up the phone.

Things were weird like that, with Michael. But that was okay because you were a witch, and he was a warlock, and things were just weird sometimes.

A few days passed, and you were outside with Queenie, Zoe, Mallory, and a few of the other new students. Cordelia and Misty stood by a tree, demonstrating a preservation technique. Since Misty had returned, your mother had been sure to bring her outside as much as possible and introduce her into nature lessons when the opportunity arose. Misty had been adjusting decently well, she still had nightmares and was unable to deal with anything to do with frogs, but being around the coven was doing her a whole world of good. However, nature classes were never really your forte. Your magic wasn’t nature centered, and you couldn’t do a whole lot with nature anyways, so you often just lingered behind the others, and half-heartedly paid attention. You had talked with your mother about it, so she understood when you zoned out or just flat-out didn’t show up, and you loved her for it. But, you wanted to be here to support Misty, even if there was nothing for you to do.

You had still been feeling hot lately, and it varied from scorching hot to a simple summer day in California. You still couldn't figure it out, but you weren’t about to go complaining to your mom or Myrtle just yet. Chances were, it was just a cold from those grimy boys and it would pass before you knew it. As of right now, your skin felt just as hot as it did when you had arrived back at the Coven. You were subconsciously scratching at your palm, where the heat seemed to resonate while staring up ahead with a glazed-out look. You couldn’t focus on Misty’s words, not with the ever-present heat engulfing your body, but you managed to stay upright, face void of any indication that you were in pain. But then, your phone buzzed in your back pocket, startling you out of your head, followed by Misty’s voice rushing back, at an intensity that made you visibly flinch. You pulled out your phone, and your lips twitched into a gentle smile. He always fucking knew.

Alpha Schmalpha: ‘We’re supposed to use sweat in love potions’

‘Tysm for this information. Are you making a love potion?’

‘Possibly. Don’t know yet’

‘You should. It might take too long for someone to actually fall in love with you’

‘?? Wake up on the wrong side of the bed, per usual?’

‘No, I woke up in the bathroom’

‘Fun night?’

‘Nope, it was too fucking hot last night, and the bathroom floor is cold’

‘It’s October, how hot could Louisiana be?’

‘It’s not the state, it’s me’

‘Yes, we know you’re hot. But what’s the got to do with your body temp’

‘No you jackass. I’m physically burning up. Ever since we got back, I’ve been sweating like a mf. I’ll mail you some for your love potion’

‘You know why?’

‘Probably one of you gross ass boys’

‘Don’t talk to your Alpha like that’

‘Suck my ass’

‘Not my kind of thing. Have you told Cordelia?’

‘No she’s been busy. I’m not dying so I’m not worried about it. I just can’t sleep, eat, and everything I wear burns. Nbd’

After you had sent that text, a harsh elbow into your side caught your attention. You looked up, ready to give the newbie a piece of your mind when you saw it was Queenie. You glared and shoved your phone back into your pocket.

“What? No need to elbow me,” you huffed, rubbing your side.

Queenie rolled her eyes and motioned to your pocket. “Who you textin’?”

“None of your concern,” you said, crossing your arms. Queenie raised her eyebrows and turned to face you, crossing her own arms.

“You don’t talk to people outside the school. So, who is it?”

“Madison,” you shrugged, looking ahead.

“Bullshit, Madison hasn’t been answering her phone all fucking week.”

“Maybe not for you, but she has for me.”

“Then let me see. I wanna talk to her too,” Queenie said, holding out her hand. You frowned and turned to stare at you.

“No. My phone is my business, and who I’m texting is my business. I love you, Queenie, but fuck off,” you objected, before turning on your heel and storming back to the school.

“What was that about?” Queenie looked over and saw Zoe peering up at her, eyes switching from Queenie to your retreating form.

“Mini Supreme has a secret that she’s trying to keep. A secret someone, and we’re gonna get to the bottom of it,” Queenie explained, squinting against the sun as you disappeared inside the school.

“Oh, great. That’ll be a piece of cake,” Zoe muttered, rolling her eyes. But she didn’t object and turned back to the lesson at hand.

You made your way into the kitchen and towards the fridge, hell-bent on finding something cold that your stomach would abide by. You opened the freezer and shifted through a few things, until yet another buzzing in your pocket, this time more consistent, occurred. You reached back and pulled it out, noticing it was a phone call. You slid the answer button and held it up to your ear before continuing to search through the freezer.

“You need to eat”, Michael’s voice on the other end was like a soothing hum against your ear.

“I’m working on it, Doc,” you huffed, finally reaching for a cherry popsicle at the back of the freezer. You shut the door and leaned against it, unwrapping the popsicle with your teeth, before popping it into your mouth.

“Something of nutritional value,” Michael said as an afterthought, and you paused to stare down at the phone with an incredulous look.

“How do you know what I’m eating or not eating?”

“A guess.”

“You and your guesses can piss off, thank you very much,” you grumbled, moving to sit down at the island. You lazily popped the popsicle in and out of your mouth, sighing softly as the heat began to subside.

“Now, you don’t really want that, do you?” You could practically see the smug smirk on Michael’s face, and you couldn’t help the eye roll that overcame your body.

“It’d be rude to truthfully want my Alpha to piss off. So no, I don’t,” you admitted, staring out the window at the others.

“What the hell are you doing? It sounds obscene.”

“Nothing,” you said, grinning at the groan that came over the phone.

“What is it?”

“Why do you need to know?”

“Because I wanna know if I was right or not.”

“Guess the world may never know,” you sighed in a sing-song voice. But then, there was the familiar beeping on your phone, signaling a FaceTime call. “Michael you ass,” you complained but answered the call anyway. Michael was sat in the library, lounging on the couch with his hair tousled everywhere. You could see the occasional boy walk by, and you heard a few voices that told you it was more than just Michael in the library.

“A popsicle? Really?” Michael asked, rolling his eyes as you dramatically popped it out of your mouth.

“Yup. It’s cold, I’m hot, can I make it any more obvious?” you snickered.

“Did someone just make an Avril Lavigne reference?” A boy yelled out across the room, and Michael looked over the phone with a bored expression, at whoever had called out.

“It seems busy over there. I’m not disturbing the righteous Alpha, now am I?” you hummed, tapping the tip of the cherry popsicle against your lip.

“I was the one that called,” Michael reminded you.

“Oh, yeah. So really, the Alpha is bothering me,” you said, laughing loudly at Michael’s glare.

“But, I’m serious. You need something that won’t have you crashing in a few hours.”

“There’s nothing! If I eat something hot, I’m throwing it up within seconds. There’s no more bread or sandwich meat, so I’m fucked there. All we really have is ice cream and drinks,” you groaned, crossing your arms on the table, and placing your chin on them so you could pout at Michael through the screen. “Third world problems.”

“Go out and buy a sandwich or something from the store,” Michael said, and your head popped up at the idea.

“Oh, that’s a brilliant id-”

“(Y/N), who are you talking to?” you looked up at the newcomer and winced when you saw it was Mallory. You were quick to place your phone face-down on the counter, shrugging your shoulders. “Nobody you need to know about it.”

Mallory nodded and walked around you, towards the cabinet behind your head. You spun on your chair to face her, crossing your arms over your chest. “Why’d you leave the lesson?” she asked, pulling out something to eat, and turning to face you.

“‘Cause I could.”

“Nature is important. We could wake up one day, and it could all be gone. You should be more grateful for it, and start learning about it,” she chided.

“Nature isn’t my thing, you know. You’re fucking amazing with nature, but I’m not. My magic is mental-centered, and spending a few hours in the sun won’t change that,” you defended. Mallory shook her head and began to leave the kitchen.

“You won’t get very far as a witch, thinking like that. Try harder. You’re the Supreme’s daughter and granddaughter, you should have something to show for it.”

“I do, my mother. I don’t need any special powers to prove that I come from two generations of Supreme’s. My powers are strong on their own, I don’t need to add yours to it. So do me a favor, and get the hell out.”

“With Cordelia dying, it would do her a whole lot of good to know she’s resting her fate in the right hands. But, to one's own I suppose,” Mallory shrugged. Without thinking, you grabbed the apple in the fruit basket at your side and chucked it at her. Mallory yelped as the fruit exploded beside her head, apple fragments flying into her hair and on the floor.

“My mom will not die. She is not resting her fate in my hands, because in case you’ve forgotten, the new Supreme has already been appointed. Michael can save Cordelia if either of them pleases, and if what my mother is saying about the world is correct, there are much bigger problems at hand, than my ability to turn a fucking rose blue,” you growled, each word coming out harder and angrier than the rest. The heat had picked up, sweat now beading down your forehead and neck as you stared straight at Mallory. Her eyes widened slightly, but she said nothing more as she briskly left the room.

Once you were certain Mallory was gone, you let out a loud cry of frustration and tugged at your hair with your free hand. Your popsicle had been long forgotten and had melted down your other hand. You tossed it into the trashcan at your side and wiped off your hand with a paper towel, before picking your phone back up. Michael could see the evident anger in your eyes once you had appeared on the screen, and the library he was in seemed vacant now.

“Who was that?” Michael questioned, once you had opened your (e/c) eyes to look at him.

“Another witch. She means well, I know she does, it’s just… we’re too similar, and we don’t get along. I know she just wants my mom alive and well, and she thinks that because the Supremacy was passed from my grandma Fiona to my mom, that I’ll get it. But it’s not genetic, and it’s already been passed to you. It’s just stressful, ‘m sorry you had to hear that,” you sighed, and began leaving the kitchen, phone held up so Michale could still see you.

“I don’t mind. But she needs to stay out of your business,” Michael said simply. You muttered a quiet ‘yeah’ as you walked up the stairs, passing the occasional student who side-eyed your phone. Once you had safely gotten to your room, you locked the door and tossed your phone onto your bed. “Nice ceiling.”

“I need to change,” you said, stripping off your shirt so you were just in a tank top. You pulled on a pair of pajama shorts as well, before climbing back onto your bed. You laid down on your side and picked your phone back up, holding it in front of you. “Thanks for calling,” you said quietly after a couple of minutes of the two of you just staring at one another. “You always know when something’s wrong.”

“Yeah, I do. It’s hard to explain, but I can usually tell when you’re upset. I’ve got nothing else to do, and you’re not boring to talk with,” Michael explained, his typical smirk replaced with a soft smile- one you hadn’t really seen before.

“Try to explain it,” you urged, biting the inside of your lip. Michael hummed softly and moved himself down the couch, until his head was resting on the armrest.

“Whenever something is wrong, I get this cold feeling on the inside of my palm- almost like I’ve touched liquid nitrogen. I can’t move my hand, at all, not until I’ve texted you or called you. It went away when I texted you after you had left, that’s when I first started figuring it out. I’d gotten the feeling before, once or twice after meeting you, but I texted you that time because I wanted you to see if the same was happening to Cordelia, because at first I thought it was a Supreme thing. But as soon as your name popped into my head, I could move my hand again. So then I texted you, and the feeling slowly started going away. That’s when I figured out that whatever the feeling was, had to do with you,” Michael said, running his thumb over his bottom lip as he spoke. It all seemed so surreal to you, that Michael had this intimate connection with your wellbeing, only days after knowing one another. You could hardly believe it, it seemed like something out of a dark Disney movie.

“Did you say the inside of your palm?” you asked, focusing in on part of what he had said. Michael nodded, and you looked down at your own palm, the one that had been the center of the burning sensation. “Does the cold spread throughout your whole body? Like you’re in the middle of a snowstorm or something?” you inquired, looking up from your hand.

“Sometimes, but not often. When it does, is when I usually call you,” Michael said, and you nodded once more.

“The heat… it does the same thing. It’s hottest at my palm, and then it just spreads everywhere. Sometimes it feels like I’m drenched in lava, sometimes it feels like I’m in California in the middle of summer. It all just varies throughout the day. Like right now? Right now it’s like I’m in California. But earlier, when you had texted me about the potion, I felt like I was being burned alive.”

“That’s more than a simple cold, love. You’re smart enough to realize that,” Michael sighed, tossing his arm behind his head. You bit your cheek and sighed, staring at his arm.

“Yeah, I do know that. But I don’t know what it is, so saying it’s a cold is better than saying ‘I don’t know’,” you pouted, running one of your hands down your face.

“It’s connected to the two of us somehow. You get burning hot, and I get freezing cold. Somehow, our bodies know when something is wrong with the other, and they’re trying to tell us,” Michael deducted, and you groaned loudly.

“That doesn’t make any sense though. Why us? Why the two of us? It all starts with our palms, where we shook hands. Did… did you feel anything when that happened?” you suddenly asked. You had been staring at his arm the whole time you were talking, but at remembering what happened when you shook hands with Michael, your eyes snapped back to his.

“Yes. My hand got hot, and it went into my chest. I thought it was just the fire, but by your reaction, I’m guessing it wasn’t,” Michael confessed, wearily looking at you.

“That happened to me, except for me, it was cold. The second I touched your hand, the feeling went up my arm, and into my chest, too. And before that, I got this… this fuzzy feeling in my head. Like a swarm of bees, made out of cotton, were inside of my brain, and they were all trying to tell me something at once. Like actual words, but I couldn’t tell what they were. And that happened when we all met up by the fire pit,” you confessed as well, sitting up in your bed as Michael sat up on the couch.

“Hm,” he hummed quietly, narrowing his eyes as he stared at you through the screen. “I’ll talk to A-”

“No! Michael, don’t. This stays between us, you got it? Ariel doesn’t find out and neither does Cordelia. This is a Michael and (Y/N) thing only, okay?” you said quickly. You didn’t want anyone prying into your business any more than they already had, and you and Michael both had too many things on your plate already. “We’ll figure this out together, but they don’t need to know about it. Promise me, that you won’t tell anyone.”

“I don’t think the Alpha should be having to make promises,” Michael huffed, leaning back against the couch.

“Michael please, I’m begging you. Don’t do this as the Alpha or whatever. Do this as my friend,” you pleaded, biting down on your lip in worry. Michael looked at you for a few moments before nodding.

“Yes, alright. Between the two of us. A friend thing,” he complied, and you sighed in relief.

“Fuck, thank you. You’re a lifesaver, Michael, I mean it.”

“No, I’m not. This is affecting the both of us. It’s hurting you more than it’s hurting me, obviously, and I want to help you. But if you don’t want anyone to know, than I won’t tell anyone. However, that means you’ve got to promise me something of your own.”

“Alright, what is it?”

“Whenever you start feeling overwhelmed, or too hot, or something is bothering you, you need to tell me. What you feel, I feel, and I need to know what’s going on with you,” Michael said, and you groaned loudly.

“You’re busy, you’ve got things to do! I can’t just text you at two in the morning like, ‘yeah, hey, I’m hot’. That’s not fair for you!” you objected.

“Yes, it is. No matter what time it is, you will tell me if something is the matter with you, no matter what the problem is. Do you understand?” Michael’s voice seemed to grow darker and more serious, the curious, boyish-softness all-but gone.

“Okay, okay, fine. I will. If something is wrong, I will text or call you. I promise,” you sighed, holding up your pinky finger mockingly. Michael grinned, and held up his own, tapping it against the screen.

“Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Bite me, Supreme Jackass.”

Michael Langdon Taglist (OPEN): @omg-luv4lyfe-universe @hesvoid34 @winchesterbloodxxxx @justanotherdaydreamersoul @frozenhuntress67 @michaels-slut @buckynatlarry @sweetcredence @crybabycth @very-aesthetic-pineapple @rainbowxmisa @xlangdons-evilbabygirlx @sherlokid7 @hexqueensupreme @kaliforniacoastalteens @madhatterweasley @skullchik89 @assgardiangoddess @booyouwhoreee @kerouacsroad @moonagecordelia @valentinevirgo @aliahemmings97 @becca-in-outer-space @supersoldierballerina @quione3 @hxdesworld @multi-madison @lanijoyxo @bookwormstrawberry @killcort @shado-cat

#michael langdon #michael langdon imagine #michael langdon imagines #michael langdon x reader #ahs #american horror story #ahs apocalypse #american horror story apocalypse #ahs imagines #18 months

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