#i think there's too much thats open to interpretation to give you a clear cut answer like you might want but im not sure

[sir-yeehaw-paws]

i keep thinking about ocelot takarazuka i dont really see the influence like he just looks like a middle age guy with masc features manner and fashion so what do you think the artist actually meant? there's nothing feminine about ocelot like how does the "is that a man or woman" thing play in here cause i don't see it. He's not like raiden or raikov. He's just a guy 🧍‍♂️so how does the all female theatre thing apply

Hello Anon! Full, immediate disclosure, this answer is messy and disjointed. I probably don't even answer the question your asking end of the day, but I'll try my best.

I believe this is the post you're wondering about?

As I said in this earlier post I'm not a Japanese speaker, so I have to go on interpretation, and what has been offered by the translations available. I can't help but think there is going to be some sort of nuance missing as a result, but I'll do my best.

To start, I think you and I might have a slightly different view on masculine and feminine-to me the two concepts are pretty interchangeable, but I do understand where you're (probably, I don't know you personally after all) are coming from and that, no, Ocelot doesn't have many traditional 'feminine' characteristics.

You'll note that in the original post, Shinkawa refers to getting inspiration from the idea of 'women in their 40's (the age Ocelot almost is in MGSV)' and 'long, flashing eyelashes'. (My interpretation here is that by this, he means in the way long eyelashes that are considered sexy have an eye-catching flow to them. Sort of like how we can say 'fluttering lashes'. Intended to draw a person's gaze in, and command their presence).

Doing some cursory research tells me that the Takarazuka Revue (because Takarazuka is also a city in Hyōgo Prefecture, Japan.) is an all-female musical troupe located within that same city. Started in 1913, by Ichizō Kobayashi.

(I also got distracted by this version that is a performance of Casino Royale, so there's that)

Anyway, ahem.

"Kobayashi believed that it was the ideal spot to open an attraction of some kind that would boost train ticket sales and draw more business to Takarazuka. Since Western song and dance shows were becoming more popular and Kobayashi considered the kabuki theater to be old and elitist."

Throughout the article, there is also this;

"Takarazuka has had a profound influence on the history of anime and manga, especially shōjo manga.[27][28] Osamu Tezuka, a highly influential manga creator, grew up in the town of Takarazuka. His mother knew many of the Takarazuka actresses, and as a child he knew them and watched many of their performances"

I can assume that the performances have a lot of influence on media, and it's not uncommon for MGS to take inspiration. There could be an entire article on the things MGS takes inspiration from, even outside the most obvious like Escape from New York, character model bases, etc.

Cycling back to the original point, (there is also a video that exact post comes from, but I don't have the link on hand, on YouTube *no translations). I think that it's entirely possible Shinkawa took 'loose' inspiration, or a little more. I can see why and how he might've based Ocelot's look on the idea. (Loose shirt, tight pants, scarf open neck). But there is also the element of which Takarazuka is a performance, more than anything.

It's acting. Playing. Something Ocelot does all the time. Half of his time on screen, he's putting on some kind of performance. While this is something he does the least in MGSV, that never fully changes 100%. (And after all, he's also hypnotized for most of the plot). So there's a counter argument to be had that this is one of his greatest performances pre-MGS4. But that's a different post.

Ocelot presents/is masculine. But, he has longer eyelashes, his clothes are a little more 'free' than the standard military garb when he's allowed to choose his own outfit. (Again this is specifically MGSV Ocelot, though there's something to be said about his chosen attire being such a sharp 3 piece later on).

At the end of the day, maybe a way you can look at it is to say that, Shinkawa looked to Takarazuka when designing MGSV Ocelot to give him a sort of 'flow' to his looks. He was attracted to the idea of taking elements from Takarazuka, because Ocelot is a performer, and he sees some possibility for feminine additions in his looks *or* might've thought it more 'fitting' than Kabuki.

But again, I don't know if we see fully masculine and feminine the same way, (and maybe Shinkawa personally associates long eyelashes with sexy women; or women made up to look like men but with longer lashes) I can't know for sure myself. I think you would need a native or very good Japanese speaker to interpret it fully.

If I was to offer you a personal opinion-I can see it. I can see where there's a draw that one might have with the look, and where Shinkawa might've gotten said inspiration. But I am not entirely certain how to put that into words either? My perspective isn't going to be 1-to-1 of yours either.

Maybe someone else can interpret all this better than me, I definitely feel as if I've not done this justice at all. Because at the end of the day, I don't see a hard divide in masculine and feminine in Ocelot, but I think that you, Anon, see him as 100% masculine. But again, I can't speak for you and I am not sure.

#asks #answered asks #revolver ocelot #mgs #sorry anon this is probably the clumsiest ive ever answered an ask #i think there's too much thats open to interpretation to give you a clear cut answer like you might want but im not sure #maybe I'll come back to this later if i can think of a better way to explain it anon but i didn't want to leave you just hanging either #i also kept getting distracted by theater pictures so uh sorry about that #character posts: revolver ocelot

[excessivelemon]

as taylor has said many times, she wants us to come up with our own interpretations of her songs and attach our own stories to them.

maybe thats the reason why i thought of the peace lyric as not being the gossip but rather fuelling it.

maybe she's referencing all the other meaningless past feuds she's had (like katy perrie) or how immaturely she acted in previous relationships (like joe jonas) and is comparing them to his past, how despite this being his first public relationship especially with someone on whom we are focused 24/7, he acted maturely and carried himself with this grace and confidence.

"i talk shit with my friends, its like im wasting your honour" it could be that she thinks how publicly she picks sides during other peoples drama (selena-justin) is childish and petty compared to how he's dealt with his public life.

i'm not saying i know what went through her head while writing this but insecurity is a common human trait and its hard to be with a person all the time and not feel jealous of or try to adopt certain traits of them. just because swifties consider their relationship the pinnacle of maturity doesnt mean it is and like any other relationship, they too have certain "unsaid" discussion remaining between them.

sorry if this was worded wrong and made no sense lol

i agree with a lot of what you said

i think the one thread that comes across for me in a lot of taylor's with-joe-era music is that she looks up to him a lot. like, she sees him as such a gentleman, almost like a white knight, especially compared to her previous partners (lyrics to ...ready for it? make this pretty clear)

and while all of her music is open to interpretation, and i'm not saying all of it is explicitly about her, either (she's admitted death by a thousand cuts was inspired by a friend's break up, for example), i think that her evermore era really felt like she was... it's not that she was seeing through the illusion (of joe as gentleman) but that she was starting to see that her perception of him meant she put herself in a box to suit him

i'm thinking about the lyrics to happiness especially (you could put champagne problems in this category too, but i was never convinced that was about taylor and joe)

in happiness, she describes a break up that could be anyone's, and that's true. but she sings

"after giving you the best i had, tell me what to give after that"

i think she gave everything to be what she thought would suit a reserved, proud gentleman like joe (or who she saw joe to be) and she could never make herself fit perfectly in with him

(even the lyrics to 'glitch', she says "fastening myself to you with a stitch" and that always struck me as self-effacing. might be overthinking, but it makes her sound like an appendage. like he's a person and she's a leech that gets to hang on for the ride. it's not a 'two jigsaw pieces fitting together' lyric, it's a lyric of desperately affixing herself to him so she won't lose him)

I think she was haunted by insecurity for a lot of the relationship because of who she built him up to be

and this isn't hate for joe alwyn, but genuinely....

when i think about the lyrics to The Great War, what I heard in that song was a woman who held herself entirely responsible for a massive rift in her relationship, and he played no part in it, he carried no blame, just "looked up at me with honor and truth"

her lyrics make it seem like she spent so much of that relationship being insecure and feeling like she couldn't measure up to his nobility (for 6 albums!!!!!!) and he just.... let her feel like that? the whole time??????

i feel like a man worth the label 'honorable' wouldn't have let his gf feel like he was better than her for so long. i feel like he would have tried to build her up after everyone tore her down. after she tore herself down. that's imo

#taylor swift #swifties #the eras tour #joe alwyn #evermore #reputation #midnights #rant

[volfoss]

how about ranking bucciarati's team?

regret to inform you that ur gonna get a very long answer bc i have passionate feelings about them all! also trish is in this bc she is part of the team and no one will tell me otherwise and will also include some rambling bc it is me and i have so many feelings towards these characters and none of them r cohesive

under the cut just in case (post writing yes it was long)

Giorno Giovanna:

way way more complex than ppl normally give him credit for (i will not go into feelings on how a majority of the fandom treats him unless ppl want me to then i will in fact make a very long ranty post and will not be stopped)

mildly op (esp at the beginning with how hes kind of able to just use his stand really well w no problems altho i think thats true of most of the jojos that we have seen animated?)

i am emotionally attached to him and want to give him a big hug

hes just a kinda goofy kid and is maybe a bit not good with figuring out hey this is a semi dangerous situation maybe i shouldnt be taunting him (leaky eye luca for example)

has the actual best theme

i love how he works off the rest of the team so well (even w members who do not like him)

is in my top 3 jojos i love this kid sm i would adopt him if he was real

7/10

Bruno Bucciarati:

the fucking way his character develops from licky man to best dad material is my favorite thing

his outfit is so so so good i would die to wear it

in general this man is one of my fave jojos characters and i get a lot of comfort from him

hes just really neat and has a good taste in music

he did his fucking best and i will always love him for that

imo the way that his death was drawn out was genuinely one of the most heartbreaking deaths in the entire series and fucks me up each time i think of it

i feel like he really is the one to hold the team together in a way that everyone feels cared for and saved

def has a savior complex tho for sure

dilf but im ace

also manga superiority bc he either makes the stupidest faces or looks very nice (anime has a lot of weird animation in regards to his face) and also because its lingerie there instead of a tattoo that changes thickness and placement every second

10/10

Leone Abbacchio:

guilty pleasure liking man

i am obsessed with his vibes and wish to become him

i cannot physically express just how much i love him but hes one of my faves of all time (not obvious by my theme at all wdym)

i miss his manga palette but also the colored manga isnt my beloved but also black lipstick abba

hot take maybe but anime abba looks better than manga minus the lipstick debacle

hes so so tall and i will steal his height in a nice way

his past man his past it fucks me up

his death fucks me up normally but when i was rewatching recently, i saw he gave this tiny lil smile after helping the kids get their ball and i could not take it anymore

him and brunos relationship (canonically and out of canon too) is one of my favorites in the series

also fandom hot take as i guess i am doing those for everyone- but ppl either have him as cosntantly trying to murder giorno or being like good son and v out of character, and it is really weird? not sayign that ill do better when i write them but also like im convinced some ppl havent seen the show or smth

i will steal both him and bruno and marry them both <3

this man is beloved i love him to death

10/10

Pannacotta Fugo:

i cannot spell his first name to save my life

also fandom take- ppl make him constantly only angry boy all the time and it really irks me. ik araki did not give him 2 much to work w in terms of canon personality but its frustrating

the light novel purple haze feedback is so so so good and adds sm to his character and i really like it for that!

fugo is one of those that imo deserves a lot and didnt get that

genuinely the vibes between how he treats narancia is v interesting to me, like its clear he cares about nara but nara not doing great w math really frustrates him

i love their interactions and how he is genuinely a kind person at times

the manga colors r superior here, my strawberry boy <3

i just really love and appreciate him a lot and wish that ppl gave him more love

i keep getting assigned him on kin quizzes

very smart good boy

ALSO ok fugo did not do any wrong by leaving

unsure if thats a hot take but i genuinely dont blame the character one bit for leaving and again purple haze feedback really delves into that and why he did it

if ur a fugo fan go read it

his past is really upsetting esp in the anime i will cry over it

his stand is adorable and i wanna hug it

his vibes r fun and i wanna gift him strawberry dangly earrings

8/10

Narancia Ghirga:

this boy i am also adopting (i am adopting most of them sorry)

i really hate how ppl act as if hes stupid bc bad math skills do not equal stupid like did ppl not see the fight w formaggio??

the way he just fucking dove into the water after the boat and how brunos face went all soft and happy it will never not make me cry

he is constnatnly making me wanna cry if i think too much about him for 2 seconds i love him sm

how can anyone not adore him when he set an entire street on fire yk

hes just happy despite his past and it makes me sad i love nara sm

torture dance is one of my favorite memes from the show

ALSO ok the way he died so suddenly absolutely broke me bc the remaining team members r really just seeing everyone die in front of them so quickly

his goofy and laid back moments r my fave

i love just how loyal and caring he is to his friends

his stand is really cool and again the fight w formaggio was so fun to watch

8/10

Guido Mista:

probably my least favorite member of the team for a semi good reason:

the jokes towards trish are really really uncomfy and how fugo doesnt wanna be involved but he is pushing him to do something that makes him uncomfortable did not make me like him a lot

hes goofy but not goofy enough for me to be ok with the repeated jokes about that esp in the body swap episode (ik it was supposed to be funny but it just felt off)

his vibes r good but i wish we got to see his hair

the fandom interpretation is normally pretty good of him overall?

despite not loving him a lot, i really enjoying writing for him (one day might open up headcanon requests or smth but unsure)

hes someone id wanna watch movies w but his taste in movies and mine r very different

love how he and his stand get along

honestly has very very good comedic potential

i really like how he and giorno interact as the series goes on (in a platonic way i need to clarify that i love their friendship)

again him in purple haze feedback was really interesting

probably a 5/10?

Trish Una:

beloved and deserved better

her first outfit in the manga > outfit in the anime

actually in general i believe in manga trish superiority like her hair in the manga looks so cool

her stand her stand her stand i love sm

if u dont include trish in the group i am murdering u <3

HER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!! IS SO GOOD!!!!!!

fandom gripe is how people either pretend she does not exist or has the trish first introduction thing where shes using her defense mechanisms and acting a bit spoiled

OK but her in purple haze feedback!!! mild spoilers but how bruno was taking care of her post the ending of vento aureo makes me so happy each time i think of it

very mad that she canonically didnt really get an ending and yet again PHF my beloved actually gave her that

how spice girl starts out as a stand thats helping her thru a very stressful situation is so cool and i love it

DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO *frothes at the mouth*

but more seriously how she leans on bruno and begins 2 trust him and nearly point blank is referring to him as a father figure always fucks me up

esp because of the resulting fight afterwards

and the very ending of the arc that ends w bruno being like bye gonna go in the clouds and look ethereal now, oh man it makes me so sad

bc giorno is the only one that knew what happened and people that were closer to bruno due to knowing him longer didnt

i wanna see how trish coped w that personally

despite being introduced not at the beginning i think her arc and character in general were as well paced as it could be!

9/10

finally done! sorry that took so long but oh man i have so many feelings towards these guys its not even funny

#asks #wholesome mutuals #vento aureo spoilers #to add that bruno is one of my faves of all time is probably obvious by me putting him at 10/10 #fiance bullies me lovingly for liking leone so that is explanation 4 first bullet #he has not even met him but just calls him piss man #the fandoms treatment of most of these characters makes me really mad tbh

[princeanxious]

Okay stupid tumblr didnt tell me you said yes but HERE ARE MY QUESTIONS :DDD

When did they become vanpires

How old are they

What year were the vampires born

How long has V been locked away, what has he missed

Does V immediately latch onto the grunge/emo aesthetic because it matches the whole vampire theme

Is Roman a himbo™

What is the twins relationship like

Anxciet is the main pairing, are there any side pairings?

How does Janus react to the whole "oh yeah vampires are real" thing

Were any of the vamps around for any big historical events

Were any of the vamps big historical figures

Do they end up going to highschool/uni with the humans

What does everyone look like

Do any of them have really strong opinions about something useless (eg. pineapple on pizza, a certain colour, double denim, etc)

:)

Virgil became a Vampire sometime in the 17/1800s?? Logan is from around the 1500s, and Patton claims he lost count a long time ago.(Patton’s probably at least at least a thousand years old though? But he looks more like a young 25 y/o whose attire choices change day to day but generally always gives off that Parent vibe), Virgil was turned by Patton, Logan was born Vampire, Patton was assumably born vampire. Remus and Roman are 27, Janus is 25.

Virgil was locked away for about 150 years, give or take? He missed the entire shift in society and the human experience, from how relationships are viewed/treated to longer lifespans, to cleaner hygiene, convenience, and technology, hell, even the more open existance of the lgbtqa+ community! A /lot/ has happened in the past 100 years, and now Virgil has alot of catchup to do.(and don’t worry, Patton & Logan help Virgil catch up pretty quickly, they share flashcards and Virgil gets h o o k e d on social media when he gets a phone)

He absolutely does. Its a weird adjustment, what with the now wildly varied different textiles and styles and change. Especially the lack of layers, he misses those. (And finds immense comfort in the jacket that Janus gifts him, as its big and oversized and feels oh so very soft and warm.) But no yeah, he gets his hair cut(it still grew for those years locked away, albiet still rather slowly from malnutrition) and rocks the fringe, even gets his hair dyed purple to match his eyes, all the grunge/punk/emo aesthetic! Some of his favorite new things are makeup, piercings, and so much black fabric to chose from!

You’ll be surprised to note, that Roman is sadly not a himboTM in this au, as Virgil has already taken over that roll 💜💜💜

Remus and Roman’s relationship? Honestly ride or die chaos, the kinds of siblings that play pranks on one another and insult eachother but god forbid some poor outsider steps in to try and say the same thing they said abt their sibling, that outsider will have regreted it. The kind if ‘The Only one allowed to call my brother a Bitch-Ass Idiot is ME’ kind of siblings? Look they grew up in a area filled with people who dont like things out of the norm and befriended the local bullied kid who is half-covered in snake scales and speaks with a lisp due to his split togue. Remus himself suffers from intrusive anxiety and Roman suffers from chronic(?) depression. They’re all a bit ride or die, through and through.

Anxceit is the main pairing, and while it’s not entirely set in stone, Logince and Intruality are probably the other two.

Technically its not a secret in their world?? Like magic is a thing in their workd, its just usually left out of humanities bloodline. Humans like Janus are pretty rare bc of that. Vampires are still p rare to meet but not unheard of.

Yes, the vampires were alive for many major historical events. No we are not going to talk abt any of them. Same goes w/ historical figures.

Yes! Infact, Roman and Logan share college/uni theatre classes together! Logans currently an astronomy major, Roman a theatre arts major(i think thats what its called?) Logan is a formidible lyrical rival and Roman finds himself constantly losing to his rival in the form of slam poetry, though every day Roman always gets a little closer to winning(Logan adores the challenge, and the passion Roman has to beat Logan at his own game is riviting to experience. Logan would def consider Roman a perfect companion, but would have never acted on it if virgil hadnt been rescued by said companions twin brother, thus gettig both trios heavily involved w/ each other.) Patton’s been alive so long that he doesn’t care too much for academia, and instead focuses on tactile learning, like pottery and woodworking. Remus himself is an arts major, known for making really hyper horror or grotesque creature sculptures/doll customization, so he kind of just laches onto this man who seems to be larger than life and is far from bothered by Remus’s ‘not safe for common convos’ way of talking and its nice not to have someone run away. (Honestly, the feeling is mutual between the two)

As for what everone looks like, I kinda just want to leave that up to interpretation? If I end up drawing any of them they’ll probably be reflective of the way that I usually draw the sides, just human or vampire-ified, and maybe have a trait or two tweaked specifically for the au? The only real thing standing out to me is that i might give Remus or Roman Albinism? Idk yet.

Uhhhh i’m sure they have alot? Logan hates modern mirrors, bc they are usually not made w/ a silver backing. Let me tell you the first time Logna passed his full blown reflection out of something he’d never been able to use before, its clear, consise, ans ge hates it bc he can now very easily stare into his own eyes clearly and question existance.

Patton, despite being the oldest ever, is still v afraid of soiders despite knowing they cant hurt him too horribly.

Virgil is under the strong opinion that memes are hilarious and hoodies are amazing.

#anxceit #intruality #logince #mvv au #sanders sides #virgil sanders #janus sanders #vampire!virgil #vampire!patton #modern vampire vee au #luka’s aus #luka answers #ask to tag

[shy-magpie]

RQG 160

Live blog under the cut! Gee hitting stuff I wrote only 1 year ago, look at the momentum!

Ben and Alex are having fun with being the two people least distressed at the idea of Zolf in danger. On the other hand Ben did make him a beefy boy; so on some level he does care about making sure he lives.

"not again"?

I swear to god he tried to blow Zolf's head off and missed by the mercy of the dice. Multi guns on the trap emphasized because "Mr She Can't One Shot Me" is not playing with an amateur.

Is Azu going to do the fling open the window bit?

Oh good Zolf isn't going indulge Earhardt

I love how Alex doesn't pull the blow but doesn't twist the knife. Like it would undermine the whole plot point if he tried to pretend Earhardt just needed a day to dry out and a bath, but he didn't go into it or even talk about it on an emotional level. Just gave us the facts, she is underweight because she hasn't been taking care of herself.

"do you touch it" Alex trying to scare us and the players

Azu is giving substantial alms to the whole floor on principle. Nope the whole building.

Alex is the best, clarifies a few things for the listener even though he clearly knows that Helen knows it.

Zolf channels all 7 Positive Energies (drawn from Hope) at the whole building as they go.

I believe that is what the kids call "direct action". Especially nice that Helen remembered to have Azu tell the temple to do more long term stuff.

And I think I will pause it at this transition point because it one of those days and I can't get 5 minutes uninterrupted to listen even though I thought I had over an hour clear. Will resume 13 minutes in.

Lets try that again!

That's my boy! No hesitation about deferring to Skraak as an expert.

"Locusts", "you'll see why", what are you doing Alex?

Zolf sets Earhardt up in his room and assists Azu in looking her over. The Positive Energy did most of the work but since RQ is good people they get that even if all the physical side is dealt with she's still going to need some time and help.  Side note: so far neatly avoiding my (for want of a milder word) triggers, of course she's barely spoken but still its nice to be at "natural level of distress at a beloved NPC in a bad condition" and not "is this where I tap out or is the best way out through?". Helps of course that RQ is full of people who are aware of mental health issues & aren't going to excuse abuse but aren't going to write anyone off either. There are bad people in RQG but its their choices, (repeated choices over time) that makes them bad, no one is born evil or evil because of something that happened to them.

"The Heart Beats Faster", I love that Zolf & Azu bonded over those books. Its just so *nice* they have something other than the end of the world in common.

Zolf is going to try to get Earhardt the same food she served aboard her ship.

The Kobolds are great and I love the image of them swarming over the ship

Cel is distressed at the unsorted parts but it sounds like they get to it as a separate step in the process

Oh Cel with a focus for their energy, we've never seen that. I wonder how the others react, I know it can throw people off to see the flip side of ADHD after getting used to the idea of scatter brained.

Hamid has to babysit since the Kobolds are still sticking close to him. Hopefully they've moved past expecting him to go Shoin on them and are now on the "we're only safe under the protection of our benevolent overlord" stage. Resilient sons of guns, its been like a week since they were drugged slaves yet the post trauma speed run doesn't feel forced. Not sure if its worth making a separate post to put in small words things like "when you expect people in power to be dangerous & unpredictable, you feel intensely if not problematically grateful for respect & even temper". On the other hand I have a list as long as my arm of posts I keep meaning to write on tricky bits that RQ does well.

Break

Zolf has perked up now that he has a project #relatable

I love the little tangent on elementals.

"adjust accordingly" I think that means you can do it but you will pay for it.

Tumblespark is such a great name.

The party is just good people ya know? Azu is sitting vigil with Earhardt in Zolf's room, (which he didn't hesitate to give up) while the others get her ship airworthy.

Huh, thought Alex would want to take the opportunity with the Kobolds doing engineering again to poke at their past. Probably trying to keep the emotional energy balanced, he is uncanny at that.

Someone took the notes on his pacing seriously and is making it clear they can't run themselves ragged if they wanted to.

Zolf *bap* take care of yourself. Oh, Azu, be fair why don't you? Yes him choosing what to do with his money includes choosing to spend it on team stuff, but didn't he burn his armor in the lightening strike? And its not like indulging in, IDK, fancy beard oil, good spices or something would kill him.

Zolf is in fact a brooding hero in the chicken sense

Wow Pathfinder without tweaks handles withdrawal with some sensitivity? Or is Alex being creative in his interpretation.

Oh Alex, oh Earhardt, see what I mean about not pulling the punch but not twisting the knife.

Ok Hamid doing the mending while watching the Kobolds is such an image

Oh Zolf, thats a good thought.

Oh Earhardt

Zolf is trying, bless him. Honest to god that someone is trying, does help. Oh Zolf, see this honesty about emotion even when it isn't pretty or simple is why I trust them with stuff like this.

A Meritocrat? Oh Earhardt one last run. There is no bow to tie on it; seriously bless RQ especially Alex & Ben for getting that.

Azu is so damn good at this, respecting the choices of the crew is the exact line to take

Yeah but Zolf would have left the room, he took the "walk away" lesson a bit too well.

Research? Fairy tales, medical, missed the third. Yeah Ben it was killing a Meritocrat or bringing back the dead and we've had an undead arc.

Leave Apophis for last would ya

Bit direct Zolf, but yes I think that would help.

I love how "you chose to do this" is a recurring topic of conversation.

Well shoot all that prep and they don't touch on what I was worried about. Still learning not to grit my teeth when I could take simple measures takes practice so not like it went to waste.

Its my week! I got a great episode with so much character bits, and Casper for my week! (ETA as in the week my name got listed in the patreon thank yous)

#Rusty Quill Gaming #RQG Spoilers #RQG Season 4 #RQG 160 #live blog thingy #addiction #health #mental health

[boybandsim]

leafeana replied to your post: 

WAIT i was just scrolling through your blog cause im hungry for content and saw this again and realized you asked what version i was playing? which i dont remember answering whoops

im playing it on pc! which is great bc then i get to mess around with mods (like the one that gives cindy some real clothing lol) but its also got its downsides since my computer is definitely not a gaming computer, which means graphics take a serious hit and lagging isnt uncommon

im...not sure if its royal edition?? I think windows edition has all the features of royal edition, although im not completely sure. I think luna has a cutscene in Insomnia thats only in royal edition, so once im there ill be able to tell. technically im in Insomnia now but ive time traveled back and it might be a while before i push on to the finale. after dealing with Altissia --> the start of Insomnia linearly i wanted some time to chill with the bros and pretend

everything is fine for a while. it has been a WILD ride for sure and yeah I haven't even started up any of the dlc yet! theres so much content!! ive been practicing playing as the other bros during medium-hard combat which has kept it feeling really fresh too. also its hilarious just blasting bad guys with a bazooka while the other people are in there swinging around swords and knives. and i haven't done any of the crossover quests yet, which seem big and exciting!

ill be forever sad that i missed the assassins festival but theres definitely plenty to do that I'm excited for. and im getting really into the fishing!! charmed is definitely the right word like..its not perfect at all but this game is so genuinely endearing with its characters personalites and development and its themes and music as well and it really does some things SO well.

god okay this is a lot of words. sorry for rambling and for the late reply! no one i know plays this game or has much interest in it so youre getting all my bottled up enthusiasm

PLEASE DO NOT EVER APOLOGISE FOR RAMBLING SEND ME AS MUCH AS I LOVE WORDS AND THOUGHTS AND TALKING ABOUT FFXV DUDE <3333 also literally no worries about late replies or replying at all im forever shit at them myself i get it bro nw nw nw

hell yeah pc is royal edition with a bunch of other shit and the dlcs (bar ardyn) incorporated, dont worry, also i would die for that one cindy in a decent outfit mod i know the exact one youre on about LOL (also i can recommend you some other mods if u like!!)

if i can share some knowledge with you right quick cuz i had the same problem and wouldve died to have someone tell me i went from barely 20fps on a good day to being able to run multiple programs with ffxv in the background; specialk is a very quick install and majorly helped with multithreading; otherwise for the in game options are using low resolution texture pack (assets option); shadows look near visually identical on the lowest option compared to the highest; all nvidia effects can be turned off with no significant graphic change; turning off anti aliasing entirely genuinely makes the game look better for me; i can post my full settings if itll help you and ive also read through a few tutorials for modding around lag so i can try and help you with that, i do get pretty major lag spikes though and frequently find it near impossible to stream/record, but i manage to nail that 60fps on average if im solely running ffxv with a few cut corners like those

also dont blame you with altissia, ngl i boiled through the story rollercoaster right quick after exploring most of the open world before even touching altissia and ended up ignoring all postgame content for starting a new save immediately and replaying just to get that hangout time in the open world that wasnt just go-back-in-time-through-magic-dog. but i feel you so hard dude i just want more of them chilling. literally i have 300 hours in this game already and i know half of those have been using the car listening to tunes LMFAO

yeah the crossover quests are funnn the one with terra wars is sweet and the ffxiv one is SO funny its literally hysterical i was roaring with laughter a couple times!!! and good on you practising i didnt touch any of the extended combat until my third save and yeah honestly if you want to do the postgame menaces those skillsll come in useful, its funny because the maingame bosses arent that hard but the postgame is mental. but yeah i love blowing shit up with proms bazooka it fucking rules nerds can keep their swords

ALSO SAME... i wanna play the promptis date so bad!! i wanna play episode duscae so bad!!! wanna play the platinum demo with baby noctis so bad!! knowing theyll never be ported kills meeeeee. sad & upset but as you say theres so much to do and the dlc honestly offer so much im still finding shit i havent done and ive spent a year playing already

honestly so much of this game for me is literally just booting it to go hang with the guys its really relaxing lmfaooo... hiking around with these goofy dudes. sometimes i just wanna chill with the anime boys. YEAH literally its sweet and charming and then fucking heartbreaking and even though the writing is hammy as hell im honestly so willing to forgive it. not only for the clear amount of care and love that went into specifically building the guys relationship (which anyone knows is the best and most realised part of the game) but the details and amount of lore you can uncover if you take a step and interpret a little. maybe thats too generous a statement for what was an executive nightmare and critically underdeveloped but i grew up on ffxiii and knowing the versus 13 lore and that ffxv was part of that extended canon im satisfied with it being another side to that story and running with that. i think supplemented with its additional content years after release ffxv isnt a complete experience but enough of one to leave an impact or at least it did majorly for me! ive been obsessed.

OMG sorry im nerding too its all good lol just genuinely i love this game and its hard to find people talking about it these days but i really had such a good time and still am continuing to and i love it fuck it ball hard

real shit though it has the best fishing minigame of all time hands down nothing has come close fuck the haters

#readmore for dashboards

[ask-3-hedgies]

IMPORTANT OOC ANNOUNCEMENT!! (warning its kinda long oops)

Hello everyone! Toby here, the blog runner and artist behind it all. Sorry to post another OOC thing, but this i think it’s really important i do this because i REALLY wanna get back into the swing of having sonic, amy, and shadow answer shit but there’s something i need to get out of the way first. TLDR: i’m making some retcons for some stuff so i can get this blog back on track, and also gonna clean my inbox out so i update more regularly

MORE UNDER THE CUT!!

and well, seeing as there is literally over a thousand of you following this blog now... i think i probably shouldn’t leave the audience hanging anymore XD

yeah... i just noticed that. wow. thank you so much you guys! it really means a lot to me that you all liked my throw away ask blog for these three dorks ;w;

I know i probably sound like a broken record at this point, but i wanted to once again apologize for all the inactivity. i’ve been... busy with other things like irl stuff, drawing things for myself and working on some biiiig projects so my art motivation has been other places. however, those are not the only reasons i’ve been on standby. i have a bit of a confession to make, and i’m gonna need y’all to hear me out on this...

i’m kinda stuck?

see, regarding the last couple updates i made with this blog (regarding sonic and amy’s situation), i kinda feel like i ran myself into a corner in a way. originally, i saw this as an opportunity to throw in some nice character development for amy and sonic’s friendship since that kinda stuff is my ultimate jam, and i wanted to flex my amy headcanon’s too. i’ve seen other ask blogs do stuff like that before and thought it would be a fun thing to try out since this is well, kinda my first time running a successful ask blog O.O

but it didn’t really occur to me until after i posted the answered ask that while i may love that kind of stuff, it’s not really...the theme i previously established for this blog? this blog is mostly a parody ask blog for silly doodles, memes, cute asks, and satire humor with a little bit of ambiguous shipping thrown into the mix (its up to the viewer’s interpretation really)

the characters on this ask blog having drama and emotional flair ups and essentially things being taken seriously like the last couple updates isn’t really what i had envisioned for this blog when i started it, and now that i’ve laid out this situation for amy and sonic... i feel like i’ve strayed away from what the big picture is. plus, it also ended up with shadow being a bit of a third wheel which is what i dont want, either. all characters on this ask blog are important and what make their interactions so fun.

i’ve been debating on if i wanted to just continue on with this well...story that’s kinda snowballed and let it sort itself out, but the more i think about it the more unmotivated i become because honestly speaking, i don’t really have the time or energy to keep a consistent plot moving for a blog like this. ^^; (another reason why this was originally just a parody blog)

and well... i’ve come to the conclusion that if i wanna continue this blog the way i wanna continue it, then i’m gonna have to do some unfortunate retconning. now this isn’t because i dislike sonic and amy having character development on their friendship (because chaos knows i love it), i just don’t feel the theme that post has to it fits here on this blog’s overall vibe. it just doesn’t work here.   and i’m really sorry if that post was what you came here for DX i promise it was never my intention to trick anyone into thinking this blog was something else...

that being said, i’m gonna take the last two posts down. i’m sorry to say... but i want this blog to be an overall place of humor and fun and i want the theme to stay as consistent as i can make it. HOWEVER, that doesn’t mean the sonic and amy post will be no longer available to view! i plan to reupload it to my art blog so it can be its OWN self contained little thing, because personally i think its short and sweet enough in it’s own right to exist as its own little comic, i guess :O plus, it would be a little awkward to add shadow in with the ending i gave it...

sorry about this guys ^^; i hope you can understand, this blog has been a learning experience for me and well, we all make mistakes sometimes. even if some people don’t perceive them as real mistakes... i have a better understanding of how i want to portray sonic, amy and shadow on this blog now. i think that is what’s important :O  if you have any questions or concerns, feel free to message me through instant messenger! i’d rather not talk about it through asks since that is more for answering questions for sonic/amy/shadow :O if you do send me an ask about it... i’ll probably delete it. sorry ^^; thats just gonna be the way it is (for now), because i really wanna cut back on the OOC posts.

SPEAKING OF THE INBOX!

i have a large pile-up of asks sitting in there that ugh... realistically i’ll never be able to get to them all. i’m sorry to say >.< i just dont have the time or energy to do so, and at this point i just feel really disorganized with how many there are. (there are still some left over from when i first started this blog MONTHS ago that i felt too guilty to just delete...)

so i think, what i’m gonna do is i’m gonna do a complete inbox sweep. i’m gonna clear out all the asks and get ready to re-open the inbox again!  i’m sorry if your question never got answered DX i’m doing the best i can and i can only really pick the asks that give me the most creative inspiration to answer. i wanna entertain and be funny but if i can’t think of anything to work with on your ask, i promise it’s never your fault! i just couldn’t think of anything and ended up skipping over it because there’s...a lot to pick from.

i’ll make another post once i’m ready to open the inbox again. until then, thank you so much for reading this and understanding, and again HUGE thanks for 1,000 followers! WOW!

be sure to visit my art blog for the sonic and amy comic because i’ll be posting it there very soon! as for opening the inbox again, i will for sure do so very soon! i might even be able to do some asks sometime this week or leading into next weekend, we will see ^^;

hope you all are having a nice day! thanks again for reading! (sorry its so long ;o; )

#psa #ooc #announcement #not an ask #ask-3-hedgies

[tayegi]

I knew it. I fucking knew that you would do that. The whole chapter showed us a stellar example of a beautiful relationship, full of understanding and respect. It was too good to be true. And then you crushed us. I can’t wait to see what happened on that damn date to make JK act that way, what made him so insecure. I’m so immersed in this story, and I love every word of it, but I also know that the time skip and scenes leading up to it will be the end of me. Thank you. 🙏🏻

Anonymous said:Hey, I just finished reading chapter 9 in New rules, and I just have to tell how good of a writer you are. Feel free to delete this ask or not answer it at all if you feel like it's a spoiler, but I just have to say how shocked I was from Jungkook's reaction to the girl's "confession". Like... holy shit! I did not have that coming in my head at all. First I was shocked that she actually went after him. I knew he wasn't gonna agree, but that specific reaction really threw me off.

Anonymous said:Its mentioned numerous times that the OC is cold.The readers know she can be vulnerable and thats because we are reading from her POV. JK can only interpret the OC from her actions and there has been sooo many instances in NR where the OC is the one who pushes JK away. She’s told JK about the rules and she’s never failed to constantly remind him of them. SO in saying that, it’s obvious JK has to be guarded. I don’t get why some people are surprised as to why he acted the way he did at the end.🦋

Anonymous said:I mean both characters seem to keep track of their feelings and I LOVE that. I appreciate the realness (I don't know if that's a word) of the personality of each character. I hate it when a character is oblivious to their feelings, it just seems fake and reflects, in my eyes, the weakness of the writer. That's why I loved it when the girl would freak out if Jungkook seemed sincere and loving, and then would totally relax if he made a sexual move afterwards.

Anonymous said:🦋I also wanted to add and say how much of an amazing writer you are, it’s insane. I absolutely adore you💕

Anonymous said:It shows that she understands how her feelings are going to change if he were being sincere (which I believe he was, but that's not the point). That is why I was surprised by his reaction. He is not stupid! he sees, analyses and understands, and it just blows me away that he decided to respond that way. I would expect that from the girl but not him, and that is why I am so fucking in love with the story, that girl, Jungkook (OF CORSE!) And finally you! Great job.

Anonymous said:And the last thing that I want to add is that, it is very obvious that the girl reflects your actual opinions on sexism, feminism and all of the other social issues adressed in the story. I personally try to educate myself as much as possible on these matters and consider myself to have been raised in a feminist home, but your story and opinions opened my eyes to issues I never thought about... so thank you ❤

Anonymous said:is2g if jimin ends up being another seokjin i am going to scream™ (but at the same time im all for that angst if it does happen cause you write that good shizz and im highkey addicted)

Anonymous said:After reading (and thinking about for days)the latest chapter of NR, I feel like I get jk on a spiritual level. I see him as truly valuing the oc as a friend and loving her platonically. That doesn't make that affection any less valuable or genuine. That being said, I've found myself in situations like this in real life. I've definitely been the Jungkook before. Anyway, just some thoughts. Love and appreciate your hard work always. 💓💖💓💖 Thanks!

Anonymous said:Hi Lu, how r u? So, i just want to give my humble opnion on NR, because is the story of my life, literally. (English is not my first language so i hope u understand) A couple of years ago, i started hooking up w this boy, basically to forget his best friend, and something that beginned as a fwb kind of secret developet into love, but only for me. At that time i couldnt understand what happend bc everything seemed to be going in the direction of a relashionship (1)

Anonymous said:He was a amazing friend, supportive, caring, and i thought that the sentiment was mutual, even if the agreement was not feelings related. Anyway, long history short, he cut me out, and life moved on, and day by day i stated to understand and separate what we were to what we have. Reading the last chapter of nr i felt everything again, but not in the bad way. I was so concetrated in 'jk is in love with the oc' that i forgot his personality, who he is, and what they have. (2)

Anonymous said:Reading the last chapter of nr i felt everything again, but not in the bad way. I was so concetrated in 'jk is in love with the oc' that i forgot his personality, who he is, and what they have. This chapter reminded me why I love so much ur fics, because how human they are, how the characters have so much personality, how everything is not just good or bad, right and wrong. Thanks so much for the update and i'll be waiting anxiosly for the next, you are amazing!!! 💕 (3)

Anonymous said:Hi! I don't think you got these asks so I'm sending them again.~Okay since we only see everything from OC's POV, what if JK rejected her because he thinks the OC doesn't like him? Because from his POV most of the time the OC is rejecting him and has made it clear he isn't her type. Starting with the first chapter he already had an inkling that she might have had feelings for Jimin, secondly, just like JK the OC also has repeatedly reminded him that she could never catch feelings for him.(1/5)

Anonymous said:Third usually whenever she interacts with him she somehow brings up sex and JK even says "why is it always about sex with you" so here we can clearly see that JK would automatically assume that the OC doesn't interact with him for anything other than sex. Fourth, she didn't even admit she found him attractive until recently and lastly she has never kissed him and everytime he suggests it she says something like "eww." (2/5)

Anonymous said:So like how everyone said that even though JK said he doesn't want a relationship but his actions speak differently, similarly the OC's actions also give a loud and clear message and it's natural for JK to assume she doesn't like him. And maybe when he rejected her he was protecting himself and was doing it as a defense mechanism. I mean think about it, JK was drunk and he confessed a lot of things, wouldn't he be a slight bit worried that OC might suspect that he actually likes her. (3/5)Anonymous said:And when she was confessing to him in the end what if JK felt that she was calling him out for his not so platonic behaviour and drunken confession and he just laughed it off and rejected her as a defence mechanism. I'm not saying it's entirely the OC's fault that JK rejected her because I do feel there's something related to his past as well but the OC's actions towards JK also play a huge part in his behaviour towards the end. (4/5)

Anonymous said:I really want to know your thoughts on this. I know you don't want to give away much but do you think I'm completely off and at looking differently or maybe I'm kind of on the right track? (5/5)P.s. sorry for such a long ask, I went overboard, but NR is SO intriguing that I just had to! 💙

Once again, I have to thank you guys for sending in all your thoughts and feelings regarding the new chapter. It’s literally my favorite thing to read and im always blown away by how deep and insightful you guys are! i love you so much and you guys 100000% win best readers of the year! :D 

#new rules #flajka

[tarredion]

1 and 27? :)

thank u for the ask sweetums,, <3

1. What's your favorite kind of fic to write?

i’m having difficulty answering this question right of the bat tbh, bcs i feel like i can find good things in all i’m writing - eg. i really like the concept and style of the dragon au, and thats a chaptered story with looong chapters, while i checked and i think most of my fics are oneshots under 5k words? which isn’t surprising tbh despite how long i sometimes seem to write my descriptions i dont often bite away so many words (i dont prefer either, essentially)

my thing is mostly just to write the concept i enjoy and see how much it ends up as. i did have a lot of fun writing the last two fics of 2020 bcs they were so short and such a fast lil thing to write that surprisingly (for more of a first/second draft) turned out rlly good? 

i guess for this answer i won't give a specific ‘kind’ of fic in terms of length or how it comes to life, but rather which tropes or theme or ‘vibe’ i enjoy lmao

this is a ramble but what im trying to say is that ‘kind of fic’ is up to interpretation :D and therefore i will say i enjoy writing mostly fluffy things n mostly established relationship bcs i dont enjoy uncertainty too much. and always, always, a happy ending (looking at u lil concept over there that follows the ambiguous ending)

27. Easiest part of writing?

easiest?? is anything easy lmao

i did have a writing spur the last couple of days n i was really happy with the results, so then coming up with ideas and putting them down just as i wanted to was very easy. this... doesnt apply all the time though

this isnt the act of writing itself, though i think i have a quite easy time (in my head) to come up with descriptions for everything. but this isnt often benifital (an exception would be the dragon au), and as both english is my second language and i can’t w o r d sometimes,, it can sometimes be really hard to put it down on the page and have it makes sense to anyone that isn’t me - ive ran into the problem multiple times, and ofc i wouldn't notice until...  someone else read it. I’m really glad i have some good buds looking out for me that can tell me if it .. doesnt

went on another rant!! maybe i should apologize to anyone reading oops

i would say that maybe that can be my answer - describing things originally. all i really do after that is saw n cut things down.

but,, i wanna answer a bit more on this one bcs its not clear cut (i need to stop w the puns) -- so read more below?

lol ok so i had random thought-- writing/describing phil. hes cute. i like him. i can describe his lil face n stuff, i guess. maybe that plays into a lil that i find writing characters physical descriptions easy? and i dont mean easy as in incorporating them into the story - that varies,, but more like. i see ur face and i know which adjectives to use yes yes (dont tell me to do it from memory tho visual imagination s u c k s)

maybe that is the moral - i write, describe, good, easy

...and i would say it probably is- still want to answer m o r e though (if this is getting annoying i dont blame u)

the easiest part in terms of the p r o c e s s of writing is not the act of jotting down dialogue or fleshing out thoughts or characters or knowing the space or even coming up with ideas (though they are plenty yet fleeting) but,, the random thought stage - as i call it (now. i came up with it just now. dont be fooled). i use this in dms and (unfortunately) quite a lot in a lot of my wips lmao (ospbb fic im so sorry for u) wayyy before i come up with exactly what i need to write instead of what i want. its literally just sending you random thoughts, ideas, incoherent or coherent, into a place outside ur brain where they can survive. sometimes they become one liner openings to a potential fic, or segments of a story that needs to unravel later on (once again, ospbb fic), or only conceptually strung-together phrases of 7k words of smut (woops. might flesh it out sometimes)

but yeah. long post long answers weird brain,, i think thats just it.. n 27 is ,, descriptions, and random thought stage

#asjaksdfjs #me #ask game #long post #fanfiction #writing

[jazzyhazzy]

Girls Like You - Chapter Twenty - Miracle Aligner

Miracle Aligner - The Last Shadow Puppets

So what’s the wish, he’ll make it come true Simple as a line out of a doo wop tune He’ll make the moves

“C’mere” I sniff, patting the bed next to me and doing my best to suppress the memory, but I just have such a vivid mental picture in my head, of Harry sitting in the bed behind me, my back against his front, his arms around me, my fingers gripping his legs as I was forced to push.

Blair’s P.O.V

Sleep evades him, I can feel his restlessness throughout the night as he tosses and turns only inches away from me. It keeps me up, not that sleep wasn’t evading me also. I want to touch him, and hold him, make him feel better in any way that I can, but I hesitate, unsure if he would let me or not.

I face him in the bed, watching him as he dozes, his mouth ajar and warm breaths tickling my skin. Harry looks so peaceful, I never want to wake him and have to see him so stressed out and distressed again. He’s been through more than enough in the past few years, it feels like we just can’t catch a break.

Sighing heavily, I peek over his shoulder at the clock on his bedside table, it tells me that it’s only 2:38am, and I slump back down into my pillow, wishing the 24 hour wait would be over already so we knew if any of us were eligible to donate some of our liver to save Anne’s life. 

I know how much Harry wants it to be him, after what Robin said to him yesterday, he interpreted it the only way he knew how to, and that meant that he now blamed himself entirely for all of this, when that isn’t the case at all. Anne would be so upset if she knew he thought that way. It even upsets me, but no matter what I tell him, he won’t listen or think any differently. None of this is his fault, he already has the weight of the world on his shoulders, he hates disappointing their fans as well. I know the interruption to the tour will be on his mind as well, he’ll feel bad for letting the boys down too, and their management. 

All I can do is be here for him, be a rock and offer my support because he needs me.

What feels like only moments later, but is actually hours later, Harry gently wakes me, shaking my shoulder lightly. I stretch my body out, and open one eye. Light is just starting to peek through the cracks in the curtains and Harry’s face is hovering over me. 

“What time is it?” I croak, my voice still raw from sleep, I wrangle my arms free from the bed sheets and wrap them around his frame, pulling him down on top of me with force that surprises him. His muscles release and he nuzzles into the crook of my neck, hiding there. 

He doesn’t answer my question, so I glance over at the clock again, it’s 6:30am. Early as all hell, but I know he is desperate to get back to his Mum. Harry will want to be there before she wakes up, but I want to keep him safe here for a while longer. 

I keep the silence, opting to tickle patterns across his back and sides, showing him that I’m here, rather than speaking the words. If he weren’t so anxious and worried, he may have fallen asleep on me, and I wouldn’t have complained, but alas, we both know that we need to get up and face the day, no matter what news it may bring us. 

A small peppering of kisses is left on my neck, his hair tickling the side of my face. “Thank you for being here” he whispers, lifting his head to lock eyes with me. I reach up a hand to pet a knuckle under his chin, “There’s nowhere I’d rather be” I assure him, lifting my chin up so he can kiss me. Once, twice, three times. I love you, he’s telling me.

We get showered and dressed, grabbing whatever is at the top of the bag that I packed for us both, I wear black leggings and steal one of Harry’s long sleeve plain grey tops, rolling up the sleeves and chucking on my white converse, the only pair of shoes I bought with me. Harry throws on some black gym shorts and a grey hoodie over his white t-shirt, with his trainers. 

I don’t bother with makeup, just throwing my hair up into a messy ponytail and leaving it at that, there are much more important things to care about currently. We meet Gemma in the lobby and she shakes her head, pointing to the front door.

Camera’s. Of course. 

They must have been tipped off, what shitty people would feel the need to do such a thing at a time like this. Why can’t they just respect our privacy for once instead of shoving a camera in someones face when they’re hurting. 

“Let’s just go. I don’t have time for this shit.” Harry growls, grabbing my hand and pushing the door open, I grab Gemma’s hand and we form a bit of a chain, Harry dragging us through before breaking into  a run to the entrance of the hospital, security already waiting at the doors to let us in. 

I know straight away that Harry won’t want to talk about it, or even mention it, so Gem and I just follow behind him as he storms the whole way to Anne’s room. Peeking his head around the corner to see if she’s awake, he’s disappointed when he sees her awake, already sitting up in bed, absent-mindedly doing a crossword while Robin snores quietly in the seat beside her. 

When we all enter the room she looks up and her face illuminates, though it’s not easy to reciprocate her happiness genuinely, given the situation. “Hello my loves” she greets us, her voice hoarse. “Hey mum” Harry tries his best to sound happy, but it doesn’t sound honest, he’s irritable and on edge.

The day is spent much like that, we all make small talk, and avoid talking about the thing that is on all of our minds. Will any of us be a match?

What happens if none of us are a match?

How much longer will we be able to bask in the warm presence of Anne?

Anne tries to talk to Harry about the tour, apologising for causing all of this drama, having read about it in the paper this morning. “Remind me to tell the nurses not to give you any papers or magazines” he grumbles, not even looking at the paper, just leaving his seat, and throwing it straight in the rubbish bin before leaving the room to go across the hall to the nurses station. 

“Don’t apologise, he just wants to be here with you” I comfort her, squeezing her hand and feeling an immense wave of guilt that she could die very soon, and I failed at giving her a grandchild before this happened. She nods, but she’s Harry is so much like his mother, she will sit on this feeling and feel guilty about it still. 

The boys want Harry to be here, I don’t need them to tell me that, I just know. They understand, their fans should understand, and he will bend over backwards to make it up to them. Of course he would rather be on tour, than have to be here with his sick mum. Of course he’d rather worry about sound checks and outfit changes than have to constantly think about about whether or not his Mum will be alive to see the sun come up tomorrow morning. 

***

It’s after dinner time when the doctors come to visit again, and the moment we’ve all been waiting for, for the past 24 hours is finally here at last. Why the hell does it take so long to get a result like this? Do they not know that someones life hangs in the balance?

My stomach rumbles in anticipation, none of us have touched any food, as a precautionary measure in case one of us is a match, we need to have not eaten before surgery. Although it has made all of us rather crabby, Harry in particular. I’m definitely feeling a bit of an attitude coming on.

“Anne, how are you feeling?” the Clooney doctor asks. Yeah, I’ve noticed. He’s a total silver fox. And his wee minion won’t stop staring at Harry with those adoring puppy dog eyes. I’m so cranky I just imagine head butting her. Which is totally un-ladylike but damn have some respect, thats my man and his mum is dying and she’s here, undressing him with her eyes. 

I clear my throat, and her gaze flickers to me, catching me watching her before she looks down at the floor. I turn my attention back to the doctor, my butt on the edge of my seat and my hand clasped mega tightly in Harry’s, his anticipation is palpable. 

“I’m sorry, but do you have the results?” Gemma butts in, interrupting routine questions. I can’t blame her to be honest, we’ve been patient enough, but we want to know. “Gem-” Anne goes to scold her for being rude, but she decides against it, sinking back into her pillows, exhausted and weak. 

Clooney doctor holds up Anne’s medical chart, flicking over a few pages to get to the information we’ve all been waiting for. “Ah yes, right here… let me see…” he ponders, his eyes scanning over the results, deciphering whether one of us can be the lifeline Anne so desperately needs, or if she will fade away before our eyes. There’s no question that whoever the match is - assuming there is one - will consent to the transplant surgery.

Everyone’s breathing is hitched in their throats, except for Anne, who’s breathing rattles in her chest. I feel like I’m watching a show like the X-factor, where the host just takes forever to announce the winner, and then goes straight to an ad break before even announcing. 

“It seems as though we have a match!” Clooney doctor announces, a triumphant smile on his face. His intern girl smiles warmly, and we all release the breaths we have been holding. Smiles all around, hands reaching to Anne, squeezing her hands, shoulders, kisses on her forehead. Harry watches the doctor carefully, “Who’s the match?” Anne asks, timidly. I can already tell that she doesn’t want it to be Harry. Feeling bad enough for taking him away from his tour, she would hate to have to keep him out of the game any longer, recovering from an organ donation. 

“Miss Waters, you are the only positive match, everyone else came up negative.” 

My breath gets trapped in my wind pipe once again, this seems like a regular occurrence, I just can’t seem to remember how to breathe today. 

Harry turns to me, gripping my hand, hard. “Blair-”

“How soon can we do it?” I cut him off, there is no time to waste.

“Wait-”

“I haven’t touched food in over 24 hours, only had water.” 

Clooney’s eyebrows raise, impressed by my prior preparation. “Well, there’s really no reason to wait, the sooner we can perform the transplant, the better.” He turns to his intern, “Book O.R 2 and make sure my favourite scrub nurse is available, admit Miss Waters and prep both her and Anne for surgery.” instructing, her, she wastes no time before darting off and fulfilling the instructions she is given.

Harry stands up, agitated. Lost. He looks at his Mum, and then to me, before storming out of the room without a single word. My heart drops a little in my chest, how can he be angry right now, when I can save Anne, when there’s now a fighting chance that she will pull through this. 

“I’ll go” Gemma says, kissing Anne on the temple and squeezing my hand in a thank you, before rushing out of the room after her distraught brother. Maybe he needs her more than me right now, and that’s absolutely fine, because I need to be admitted, and someone needs to feed Harry so he can snap out of this. 

Once Gemma is gone, I look up to see both Robin and Anne staring at me, wordlessly. I move to the seat Harry was in, right beside her and I grab a hold of her cool hand. “Don’t you even bother trying to talk me out of this young lady” I jokingly scold her, and she smiles, now hopeful. 

“I could never ask you to do something like this for me Blair, but thank you. Thank you. I love you, darling.” she whispers, petting my head soothingly as I rest it on the side of her bed, worried about Harry. 

This isn’t even something I need to think about, I wold give anything, do anything, be anything for the people I love, and this transplant is something I would do in a heartbeat, especially because it means saving a life. Not just any life either. I don’t consider the risks, or any complications, all I can think, is that I need to do this for Anne. Because a world without Anne is not a world I care to live in. 

“Don’t you let a drop of alcohol touch my healthy liver, do you hear me?” I wink at Anne, and she shakes her head in shame. “I’m so sorr-” I hear her begin to crumble and I won’t allow it. I need her to be strong as well, because if Harry see’s her crumble, he will crumble himself, and he’s already upset enough. “No apologies, okay? Just promise me” I demand, holding my pinky finger up to show her I’m not messing around with this particular pact.

She locks her finger with mine, and promises me, not another drop. 

Once I’m admitted, they leave a gown on my bed and close the curtains around me to give me some privacy. I’m not in the same room as Anne right now, but they’ve promised to put us together once we’re out of recovery.

I just got off the phone to my own mum, and she cried. A lot. Naturally, she’s worried sick, but I’ve given her Harry’s number so she can harass him for updates. She was more just proud of me than anything, proud that I would give up something like this for someone I love. But I don’t see it that way, I’m not giving anything up, my liver will be fine, I’m giving Harry’s mum another chance at life. I’m giving us the opportunity to have more time with an incredible woman in our lives. I feel guilty about putting my mum through the worry, but I had to tell her before, otherwise she would have flown over and killed me if I left it until after.

Sliding off my bed, I kick my shoes off, placing them under the seat next to my bed. I peel off my leggings, throwing them on the chair and shrugging out of Harry’s top that I’ve been wearing. I hold the gown up in front of me and look at it in disgust. God they are ugly gowns.

As I’m removing my bra and sliding the gown onto my arms, the curtains open a crack and I jump in fright, doing my best to cover myself up. “Only me” Harry murmurs, quietly, and I chuckle, turning my back to him and lifting up my hair. “Can you tie me up so I’m not flashing my bum to the whole hospital” I joke. He doesn’t smirk, or laugh or anything. He’s dead serious and I feel my mouth turn down in the corners. How can he be so sad? We have a way of saving Anne, he should be celebrating. I’m trying to be positive about this all, because the only other option is to start winding myself up about the operation. 

I sigh, growing irritated with him as I walk away and jump into my bed, pulling the covers up to my waist and fiddling with the bed controls so I’m sitting up instead of lying flat. “Can’t you just be happy, Harry? You should be jumping for joy” I point out, I’m saving his mothers life, and he’s too busy sulking about it. 

His head snaps up and he stares at me, “The last time I saw you in a hospital bed-” he doesn’t finish, just collapsing into the chair next to my bed and holding his head in his hands. The last time I was in a hospital bed, I was giving birth to our stillborn daughter. I suddenly feel so awful for being so hard on him, he’s been through so much, hospitals must provoke so many awful memories. We’ve been in here our fair share of times. 

“C’mere” I sniff, patting the bed next to me and doing my best to suppress the memory, but I just have such a vivid mental picture in my head, of Harry sitting in the bed behind me, my back against his front, his arms around me, my fingers gripping his legs as I was forced to push. 

Harry lifts himself out of the chair and sits on the edge of my bed, I pull him back so he’s leaning back beside me. I search his eyes, and all I can find is hurt and  fear, he’s scared for Anne, and now he’s scared for me as well. “M’sorry” he whispers, his face close to mine, our foreheads touching. “I know this isn’t easy, but think about what this means… Anne will live through this, she’ll get to meet Edgar and Frankie” I smile at the thought of my babies, Sav has been sending me pictures every time they do anything remotely cute. 

“And someday, she’ll be able to meet her grandkids.” I say, seriously. Harry moves his face back to better study my face. “We don’t have to think about that right now” he frowns, as if he doesn’t like the idea of it. As if it leaves a sour taste in his mouth. He is simply afraid, I can see that. 

“What you’re doing for mum… are you… are you sure about this?” 

“Don’t be absurd Harry, I’m saving your mum’s life, there is not a single doubt in my mind that I am doing the right thing! How could you even ask me that?” I shake my head at him in disbelief. He wouldn’t hesitate to do the same thing if the situation were reversed. 

“I’m sorry… my head is everywhere.” he apologises, and I press a kiss to his forehead, rubbing his shoulder, “Shhh, baby it’s okay, everything is going to be fine, you’ll see”

We lay in bed talking for twenty minutes or so, before the nurses finally come in the prep me for my surgery and take me up to the Operating Room. Anne won’t be too far behind, but they actually have to harvest the liver from me before they can start on her. Harry sits patiently in the chair beside the bed until its time to take me up. He walks the whole way with me, and we stop outside the doors where he has to stay behind. 

He is an absolute mess, the wait is going to be agony for him, and I’m too worried about him to even think about my own nerves. This is just a routine procedure. Harry grabs my hand and holds it to the side of his face, I watch a tear escape his eye and run down his cheek, I feel the moisture on the back of my hand, imagining the salty taste of it. I need to be strong for him, show him that there is nothing to worry about. 

“Everything’s going to be fine! Go grab some lunch with Gem and Robin and I’ll be back before you know it” I smile up at him, thinking how every girl should get a man who loves her even when she’s got an operating gown on and a giant hair net with zero makeup. “Thank you… for this, for everything. I love you.” he whispers, leaning down to kiss me, once, twice, three times. 

“Love you more” I respond, as they start to wheel me away from him, “Impossible!” he calls out after me, and I smirk and shake my head at him. He waves slowly at me as I get further and further away, until I he disappears from sight. 

Suddenly I am all alone, and it dawns on me what I am about to do. I hadn’t given it any thought until now, agreeing to this was a no brainer, of course I would give anything to save Anne, but the thought of being put under and being cut open does terrify me a little. I worry about the pain, but I don’t ask any questions as they push me through into the operating room, I move from my bed onto the operating table, and it is firm and cold beneath me. 

I lie back and do my best to focus on my breathing, keeping it regular and calm. Clooney doctor appears over my head and I manage a nervous smile up at him. Hopefully he didn’t bring his intern in here with me, she might try to kill me to free up Harry. 

“Feeling fine?” he asks me, and I nod, not quite managing to find any words right now. I just want all of this to be over. I want to be with my pups and hold my god-daughter and laugh with my friends and have hot sex with the love of my life. I just need to get through this and then I can get on with all of that. 

“Alright, we’ll proceed. Blair, can you count back from ten for me please”

“Ten” I think about Gemma, her frantic call to me, where all of this began.

“Nine” The shock of finding out about Anne’s alcoholism. 

“Eight” Watching Harry’s face falter as he see’s his mum, dying.

“Seven” Holding Harry in bed as he wept, blaming himself for this mess.

“Six” Talking with Anne all day, laughing, crying, reminiscing.

“Five” Finding out I was the only eligible donor, and not giving it a second thought before agreeing. 

“Four” Finally telling Harry that I still want to have babies with him, sometime in the future. 

“Three” Only minutes ago, Harry kissing me once, twice, three times.

“Two” I forget the rest, everything falls away as I feel myself slipping under.

#harry styles #harry #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fan fiction #one direction #one direction fan fic #one direction fanfic #one direction fanfiction #one direction fan fiction #1d #1dff #1d fan fic #1d fanfic #1d fan fiction

[stopkiwibea]

I have feeling™ and I need to get them out. Have a langst minific centered around Blue and the bond they definitely have. This got kinda long…

—

It was like lightning. One second, he’s fine, and the next, he sees a flash of light so blinding that he dont know where he is. It disorients him. Makes him question whats up or down, if he’s still on the ship or flung into space. For a terrifying moment, all he’s capable of feeling is confusion.

At least… Thats how Lance interprets this situation.

-

They had been in another battle. The paladins were among the main ship of this particular Galra fleet. No lions. And no backup. The castle remained a wormhole’s jump away and they agreed to maintain radio silence until given the signal.

Lance had thought an infiltration tactic was too dangerous, too risky, but the others all agreed against him.

“We need to get Pidge on that ship.” From his seat in the control room, Shiro spoke, “Her lion is the only one with camouflage and hacking into the main computer will give us valuable information, Lance.” Shiro turned his head, looking over his shoulder with an annoyed expression aimed in Lance’s general direction. He could tell that Shiro was tired, they all were, but the shut down of his concerns hurt none the less.

So Lance had pushed his concerns away as they all piled into the Green Lion’s cockpit. The seed of worry was still there even as they had successfully landed in the Galra’s main ship undetected. Pidge had hacked into the system with general ease. Lance stood guard at the front door but saw and heard no one. Honestly, everyone was able to get to the control room with way too much ease. Not a single Galra had been spotted. That seed of worry sprouted in Lance’s mind.

Lance craned his neck to the side, “Hey guys? Dont you think it was a little too e-”

“Lance, dont start goofing around, you still need to watch the door!” Keith cut him off with a snap.

“What, I am?! I just think tha-”

Pidge jumped from the floor, “Done! Let’s go!”

They had run down hallway after hallway, no Galra in site. Until they turned the last corner to the hangers. There they were. Clustered between the paladins and Green. It was chaos after that. Lance had lost track of the others during the fight. He could hear them, fighting through the thick, and he could hear that some where getting tired. Hunk was saying that they couldnt make an opening, “They just keep coming!” Lance had put everything he had into getting his friends out of there. He needed to. They were so important to him. He couldn’t think of anything else but shooting as many Galra as he could to make a path for them. So when he forgot to watch his own back, it wasn’t completely unexpected that he would get hit.

But the others didnt notice.

Right before Lance’s vision had turned white, he saw the others take the path he had cleared. He saw them reach Green. And he heard someone scream before the opening closed once again.

“Lance!”

-

Lance remembered what had happened almost as soon as he had forgot it. The disorienting feeling was still there but it was quickly becoming consumed by pain. He was laying on the floor of the hanger, cold seeping into his back from the metal, and blood pooling from the wound in his side. And he saw the Galra approaching. Fast. Lance tried to move, to lift his arm, to do anything. But his body wouldn’t move. He couldn’t move. The pain was too much.

He heard shouting over the coms but his brain was lacking blood, he couldn’t keep up. “Lance, you idiot!”…“Why did you do that, it was so reckless!”…“Get up!”

But he couldn’t. Didnt they see? He did it for them. They needed to leave. He wasn’t gonna make it.

“At least I… At l-least I got everyone out.” Lance didnt know what hurt more. His side or his heart. Black spots appeared in his vision as the tears escaped him. He was going to die. He was scared. He was sad. He was accepting this.

The Galra slowly circled him. Watching him bleed out as the others took off in Green.

He heard the sound of metal screeching, felt something large land near him, and saw through blurry eyes a spread of blue. There was a rush of wind. And then he blacked out.

-

The Blue Lion loved her paladin. She hated to watch them leave for the mission, sensing the unease her paladin cared with him. She begged Green to keep her in contact while they were gone. The connections the lions have with each other can reach much farther than that of their paladins. And she was immensely thankful that Green had complied.

For if she had not, Blue would not have felt the shift in all the paladins moods. Nor would she have felt the fear. Blue couldn’t feel her own paladin. She couldn’t reach him like she was reaching the others, all inside the safety of Green. Almost all.

Blue couldn’t lose another paladin. Not again. Not this one. Not her favorite one.

It wasn’t until she felt the surprise rolling off Green that she even realized she had piloted herself. Green floated beside her, silencing the panicking paladins within as she questioning how Blue had gotten there.

Blue herself didnt even know how or when it happened, but she found herself before the Galra’s ship, feeling her paladins fear, pain, sadness.

And she felt him giving up.

Blue crashed into the hanger, not even bothering for the opening to be wide enough for her metal body, and slid to a halt by the cluster of Galra. They were surrounding her paladin, turning to fire at her, but after a quick smack from her large paws, the Galra were no more. She felt pride in herself for only a moment as she turned her large head back to her paladin.

She couldn’t feel him. Not like before. This was weak. Too weak. She let out a wail. Grief thick in her message.

Everyone heard it. Her wailing only increased as the seconds went by. As if answering her call, Green rocketed them back onto the Galra ship, urging the paladins to help her.

Blue sat beside her paladin’s tiny body. She nudged his shoulder with a claw, as gentle as she could, and whimpered at the site of so much red coving his blue colored armor. The blue color they shared.

-

The first one to run out of Green was Keith. The others shouting behind him, something about being reckless. But he didnt care right now. He needed to see Lance.

He ran to Blue, watched as she tried waking Lance, and failing to gain a response. Her grief washed over him, only amplifying his own. He dropped to his knees by the blue boy.

“L-lance? Buddy?” Keith felt for a pulse, hope filling his vains as he found one. But it was weak. It was so weak. Keith whipped his head around, “Shiro! He’s alive! B-but he needs help. Now!” The tears ran down his cheeks as their leader dashed over and scooped up the bloody paladin.

And no one fought when Blue opened her mouth to fly her paladin to safety.

She had come to save him and that is what she would do.

-

It was a week before Lance left the pod.

In that time, Blue had sat restlessly, wanting to hear her paladin speak to her once again. Wanting to spend nights comforting her fragile boy’s heart as he continues to fight in a war that is not his own.

The other paladins had tried to console her, only to be shown recordings of Lance’s late nights with her.

She wanted them to understand how much he cares.

How much they would have lost.

How important her paladin is.

And they all took the time to understand. Some left with tears in their eyes. Others sat with her and talked. The red one especially.

She understood that the red paladin felt more for the blue paladin than he let on. And hearing the recordings of Lance speaking of the hurt he felt from the others left Keith with much to reflect on.

So this time, when that week was up, and the pod doors opened, Lance was immediately wrapped in a group hug.

Blue purred as she felt her paladin wake up. The purring increasing as she felt the love and determination roll off of each paladin.

It would take time, Blue knew, but her paladin would begin to feel loved again. Not just a throw away piece to get everyone else to safety.

And as surprise filled her mind, along with joyful laughter, Blue could only imagine that the red paladin filled his promise to her. She felt the embarrassment of a first kiss roll off the red and blue paladins alike.

Because Lance was loved. And Keith had vowed to show him how loved he truly was.

#i just love blue and need more content of the lions loving their paladins #langst #lance #keith #klance #klangst #if its unclear keith kissed him in the end #my fic #minific #i hope this makes sense #i was in a good mood until about half way through this and i think it shows #but have it anyway