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#i tip my hat off to you
incorrect-hs-quotes · 4 months
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DIRK, critiquing one of DAVE’S memes: It's not ironic enough.
DAVE: you know what isnt ironic? saying shit like brohoof
DIRK: Bold to assume I simply do it ironically.
DIRK: In fact, I do it ironically unironically.
DIRK: Get on my level, skrub.
DAVE, in awe:
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ukulelegodparent · 3 months
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grrrr why did people ever stop wearing mid-renaissance clothes
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fairyroses · 2 years
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I spend so much time swimming with Wall Street sharks and boardroom barracudas that it’s been nice to come up for air every so often with someone as honest and pure-hearted as you. In some ways, you’re the best partner I’ve ever had. 
— SMALLVILLE, “Nicodemus” (1.15) & “Talisman” (3.20) 
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marcirose · 1 year
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"Kazuki loves women" And I discovered the cure to cancer when I was 8 so like could you come up with something more convincing so that I'm more inclined to believe you?
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thetriangletattoo · 1 year
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vveissesfleisch · 1 year
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JOHN!!!! FUCKIN!!!! WICK!!!! FUCKIN!!!! 4!!!!
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I NEED 10-14 BUSINESS DAYS TO RECOVER
HAVE A SELECTION OF INCOHERENT/SEMI-SPOILERY THOUGHTS IN THE TAGS IN THE INTERIM
#PERFECT!!!! PERFECT PERFECT PERFECT!!!!#I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO BE COHERENT I WILL ATTEMPT AGAIN LATER BUT FOR NOW…#I WANT TO KISS THE WRITERS AND DIRECTOR AND CINEMATOGRAPHER AND ENTIRE CREW ON THE LIPS#I WANT TO SUCK WHOEVER IS IN CHARGE OF THE SCORE/SOUNDTRACK SILLY#I WANT TO SCREAM AND CRY AND LIGHT MYSELF ON FIRE#KEANU WAS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DIVINE#SO BEAUTIFUL#SO RESOLVED#THE WAY HES PLAYED JOHN THRU IS EVOLUTION IS AWARD WORTHY#I TIP MY HAT TO YOU STUNNING AND TALENTED HUSBAND#THIS SUPPORTING CAST!!! WOWOWOWOWOW!!! EVERYONE WAS PERFECT!!#DONNIE YEN IS THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE#BILLY SKARS WAS FANTASTIC AS THE MARQUIS DE FUCKER WHAT AN ABSOLUTE DOUCHE#AND WHEN HIROYUKI SANADA SHOWED UP (WEARING G L A S S E S) I CHEWED MY ARM OFF AT THE FUCKING ELBOW#AND THE FIGHT SEQUENCES!!! SO WONDEROUSLY CREATIVE!!#EPIC CHOREO!!!! AND THE WEAPONS!!!!#THE NUNCHUCK SCENE#THE SWORDS!!!!#AND LETS NOT FORGET THE OVERHEAD ARCADE STYLE SHOOTING OF THE DRAGONS BREATH BULLET SHOOTOUT BECAUSE HOLY FUCKNUTS#USING ARC DE TRIOMPHE TRAFFIC AS A WEAPON??? ARE U KIDDING ME??? IVE DRIVEN THERE AND IT IS….LETS JUST SAY THAT WAS PERFECT#AND THEY REALLY WERE OUT HERE PLAYING GESAFFELSTEIN DURING THAT SCENE….I JIZZED IN MY PANTS#THE MOMENT THOSE OPENING NOTES OF HATE OR GLORY CAME ON MY HUSBAND TURNED TO ME AND SAID IN FULL VOLUME ‘THEY KNEW YOUD BE WATCHING’#💦💦💦💦💦💦#UGH!!! AND THEY PLAYED JOHN WICK MODE 🥺🥺🥺🥺#AND WHAT AN ENDING!!!! WHAT AN ENDING!!!!!!!#GOD I TEARED UP#MAN OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN#JOHN WICK MY BELOVED#CANNOT FUCKIN WAIT TO SEE IT AGAIN#john wick 4 spoilers
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(different anon) Dan VS is an old(-ish) cartoon with a fanbase on here - ur posts about Dan and Phil keep showing up in that tag because of tumblrs awesome tagging system. not blaming you just letting you know! -dan vs fan
ohhh thank you for explaining!! i was like ?? dan vs who?? are we ADDING CONTROVERSIES?? yeah tumblr’s tagging has been interesting there’s been all kinds of shit everywhere
to the other anon: i highly recommend scrolling past when you aren’t interested in posts bc social media gatekeeping is not the most effective strategy for avoiding content you don’t wanna see. maybe you could blacklist tags too?? or honestly just blocking me or people whose posts annoy you. i’ve blocked a few blogs that show up in the tags i frequent not because i have anything against them personally but because it’s nice to cultivate what you see and what you’d prefer not to. but above all, nothing quite like having the power to simply,, scroll past things (i can’t say that without sounding snarky and i think i am feeling a little snarky but also i’m so serious it’s very easy and low effort lol)
thanks again anon who explained this, appreciate you taking the time to do so :) hope you’re well and get sleep and drink water!
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schneckmag · 1 year
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Amazing how ghost became the patron Saint of 'he wouldn't fucking say that' within a month. Astounding even
#Dont get me wrong i love how more people are picking up cod cos of the new campaign#Specifically the girls and the gays touching cod is nice to see#But if i see one more image of ghost or könig without their shirt im going off the shits#This is not a GRRR DONT TOUCH GHOST post btw i think the babygirl jokes are fucking hilarious#Other cod fans are missing out taking it so seriously. Silly posts are my favourite#But I'd be lying if this isnt the biggest misinterpretation ive seen of characters in a while#Specifically reading fanfiction is hilarious. You can tell that these people have never played a cod game in their life#AND THATS FINE cos im having a blast reading some of them and its great youre enjoying the campaign#I love reading a story where someone has very obviously been looking on google for northern and scottish slang#Proper geg#So far the most accurate posts are coming from metal gear fans and people who play fps games. I tip my hat to you#But also if you like ghost or the campaign in general. Hell maybe even casual matches. I recommend checking out other cod games#Even if you just watch the campaign gameplay like a film#Specifically the original modern warfare games since ykno. T'is where task force 141 resides#But black ops has a banger ost and ww2 had a pretty nice story as well#For a stale bread fuckin ww2 game it treats its characters quite well#I think people would like zussman#Fps#Cod#Call of duty#Mw2 remake#Cod mw2#Modern warfare 2#Mw2#Simon 'ghost' riley#Cod ghost#John 'soap' mactavish#Cod soap#Mw2 campaign
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fairyblue-alchemist · 2 years
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sunny d, yeehaw! <3<3<3<3<3 /p
ok but what do my posts taste like i’m curious- i think i rebageled this ask games before and i wonder if the taste changed in that time……
also
Y E E H A W
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jettkuso · 5 months
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Real observations since I started wearing a wizard hat daily:
- Brim is so wide that I stay BONE DRY taking walks in the rain
- Brim can be positioned to block the sun from ever getting in my eyes AND keeping it off the back of my neck
- The pointed top part creates an air pocket, keeping my head from getting hot or squishing my hair as it might in a ball cap
- Hat can easily be pulled down over the tips of my ears without looking dumb, protecting them from wind chill
- Strangers say they like my hat, giving me the chance to tell them that I am a wizard
- When you’re wearing a wizard hat, ALL OTHER FASHION CHOICES become secondary, allowing you to branch out with style
Embrace ego death. Stay protected from all elements. Wear a wizard hat.
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xcziel · 7 months
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#not me in my imagination thinking the snty video shows signs of hasty editing#after nj's recent music rec post after the decision came down regarding relations while serving in the military#the delulu in me just wants somebody to edit him looking her in the eye and then walking right past her#to meet another 'figure' standing silhouetted in that golden light everywhere#like i'm sorry - we're not supposed to take the lyrics seriously when we have ... no pronouns just 'you'#we have dna. we have the sun and moon. we have the fallen angel symbology.#(can i say the man references afterglow a lot when really it's just been two times but if i had a nickel etc etc)#i just have this feeling like the mv might have been making a kind if statement if certain things turned out differently#but they didn't and so to use a sports metaphor the runner taking a lead off returned back to base#that doesn't negate the fact that there's this feeling that this guy is just itching to sprint like hell for home plate you know?#i do really want the story of the mv bc it does not make sense the way it's edited but people spotted luhrman romeo & juliet references#so yeah starcrossed but fated live thrown in there#as many have said ... who is the big mj stan and then all the literal tips of the hat to mj here#and the other choreo callbacks and other matching moves?#like he does this and then says don't read anything into the lyrics ...#personally i think he's remembering how all the people looked at alone and face off and started commenting#'break-up?' 'break-up?' like the seagulls in finding nemo even though jm ssid what the songs were about#there are sad songs about heartbreak on the album and i think his statement was more pointed at those#like i get that he chose the songs thinking hey these sentiments are pretty universal people can sing along to these#just as he says but - this one. this one just feels like there's more to unpack#but that's me living in my imagination where there's more to the mv than is on my screen rn
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Glamour shots
A Yellow All Blue
.......She's really pretty,"
"Well yeah did you think I would have a beast?"
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critterbitter · 6 months
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The twins and their starters may have grown slightly taller, but their love of shenanigans have tripled, no, quadrupled in size.
On that note did you know Eelectrik has a glow animation?? Perfect nightlight eel. Absolute gold standard for creature. Click here for the masterlist!
Bonus shitpost under cut ft @birdsaretoddlers’s incredible take.
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(plus a fanfic drabble that birds did while we were discussing in chat! Check out their funny writing @birdsaretoddlers) “Lam lam pentttt. Lam.”
“Language. I am not calling them that. This is a civil discussion about the capacity of a 284 Berkshire’s firebox, not a playground argument.”
“Lammm Pent.”
“If you possess my phone I will have to put you in time-out in your ball, and neither of us will like that.”
The argument over a literal online flame war was cut short by the door flying open, one of the hinges breaking off with the force and flying somewhere into the aether, never to be seen again. Or at least, not without a strong magnet.
Emmet stood there, proudly, holding his newly-evolved Eelektrik, his grin a mile wide. Ingo picked his heart up out of his femoral artery, where it had lodged itself, and gently removed Lampent from where she hid, hanging over his shoulder. Emmet stood there, eyes twinkling, clearly ready to perform the coveted Bit. Ingo opened his mouth, got halfway through a word, and his twin took the proffered delight of cutting him off.
“I am Emmet and I discovered something INCREDIBLE. INGO LOOK.”
Ingo looked, because what else was he going to do? He would allow his twin to complete his circus act, it was only proper and polite. Eelektrik trilled with delight. Emmet twirled like the best of Nimbasan runway models, clearly wrestling his eel, cooing platitudes to it as he writhed and squirmed to get it into position.
“Me beautiful slimy baby, my beloved pool noodle, my beeesstt conductor!~” Doing something that could generously be called ‘dislocating his shoulders’, Emmet managed to get his eel flipped up and around his neck. He flopped forwards, bonelessly, tipping his hat and giggling madly. He was grinning harder than normal. Ingo was a little scared.
“But now, Eelektrik can do MORE. OBSERVE.”
He threw his shoulders back, standing up as tall as he could, somehow not throwing himself ass-first onto the floor as the fifty pounds of eel he was currently deadlifting remained stationary over his neck. Emmet’s arms flew upwards and out, rocking back and forth in jazz hands. Eelektrik frilled its fans, made another happy little buzz and-
"Eelektrik boa."
“DRAGONS ALMIGHTY. THE EEL GLOWS.”
There it was, clear as day. Eelektrik flashed it’s spots in natural bioluminescence, blinking like a neon sign. Bright beautiful yellow and clearly charged, Emmet’s hair stood on end, pushing his hat an inch off his head. They blinked in a rhythmic, pulsing manner. It was almost hypnotizing to watch, in a way. Ingo snapped back to reality, realizing his mouth had dropped open and Lampent had ceased questing for his Pokedex. Recognizing Emmet was looking for a response, he threw his arm out in a thumbs-up so fast his arm hurt, snapping his suspender against his neck.
“Brrravo! Ten out of ten! Majestic eel scarf!” He praised, Emmet’s expression only growing further full of himself and his achievement, which was well deserved. Lampent echoed the sentiment, flashing back at Eelektrik in response.
Now that both Pokemon could glow, they’d never have a problem in the caves again!
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ph4ngz · 1 year
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i need isagi, bachira, nagi, reo, chigiri, kunigami, shidou, sae, rin & barou x fem! reader (all separate) doing it raw for the first time?? pls pls pls pls pls
DOING IT RAW || BLUE LOCK
MMMMMM *feral noises.*
ISAGI YOICHI
"You're... y-you're on the pill, right baby?" he asks as soon as his tip meets the soft, slick outline of your entrance. His eyes are clenched shut, nose scrunched up as he does everything in his power to focus on the unfamiliar sensation of real pleasure, no bullshit condom, just pure skin on skin with his favourite girl. "Oh, shit..." he moans out loud, his features twitching and contorting in ecstasy. He's loving every second, finally able to experience every detail with his jolting, excited cock. "G-God, I-... oh~ t-tight!" he cries out quietly, attempting to control his volume as his head rolls back. Every so often, he repeatedly slides his sensitive cockhead back and forth over your puffy clit, relishing in the way it feels to mix each other's arousal together before recklessly jostling it inside once more. "Why... how... are you so fucking good?~ ah-"
BACHIRA MEGURU
"Wait, I thought it felt good already... now it's gonna be even more delicious?~ oh, wow. You're tooooooo good to me, my girl~" he'd cooed against your soft lips when you'd suddenly told him to fuck you without protection. Bachira couldn't care less if he's got a condom on or not. As long as you're having fun, he'll cum his brains out anyway. Even untouched. "Soooo, ya like it? What gets you off, huh? Is it that you can feel it pulse inside you?~" he asks playfully and oh so shamelessly, poking his tongue out as he rests your legs on his shoulders. "Bachira Meguru~ d-don't be so... so lewd..." you whimper towards the end of your sentence, the way his pelvis grinds against your gooey pussy to drive his cock in deeper making your eyes roll back. "Huh~ what, you embarrassed? Hehehe, oh— mmmh, don't be silly, you're the one who's getting my dick wetter by the second."
NAGI SEISHIRO
Oh, he's all for it. All you had to do was mention the mere concept of it and he was hauling you into his lap with that pretty, blank stare of his. "Wanna do that now." he's murmuring into your ear with all the focus he can conjure up going toward the strength of his big hands, already trying to remove your pants without ripping them. "Ohooooo," Nagi whines deeply into your shoulder once his fingers get wet whilst slipping your panties aside, "you're so wet, I wanna stick it in. Can I please...?" he asks lazily, dragging his lips across your skin so sensually, slowly. "Knock yourself out." you grant him permission with a shared dreamy stare, not entirely knowing what you're getting into until he's slipping himself in immediately, balls deep within seconds. "Hhhhh... hhh- I love youuuu~" he's moaning and sighing so slowly and it's almost making your ears twitch to hear more. "Condoms are such a hassle, o-oh... never wanna go back~"
MIKAGE REO
"We can do it raw, right? Can we do it raw?" a few strands of purple fall in front of his eager eyes as he holds an unopened condom between his fingers, already so worked up by the mere thought of pushing his needy cock in without some stupid condom preventing him from feeling the thrill he needs. Reo is ready to toss it behind his shoulder at the drop of a hat, and you don't think he even saw you nodding until a split second after he threw it away... "Fuck yeah, I'm so ready for this right now... you ready sweetheart?" he doesn't even wait for you to answer before he's spreading your cute cunt with his thumbs, intently watching his pink tip squeeze past your slicked up folds. "Oh my fucking godddd-... been waitin' for so long~" you hear him groan as he squeezes your thighs tightly. Every inch of his hard dick feels like it's on fire due to the way your hot arousal is coating his sensitive skin more and more, no pesky condom in the way.
CHIGIRI HYOMA
The little smirk on his gorgeous face when you tell him... hehe. "You're being for real, yeah? Okay, just... just c'mere, I'm not waiting around." he drags your body into his, grinding his clothed cock into your ass from behind, huffing impatiently like a spoiled brat. "You're letting me bang you raw..." a pearly white smile graces his face, he looks proud that you're finally letting him do this. Eyebrows bowed in pleasure, he watches his perfect tip squish between your folds and gather some of his sparkling precum on the way inside. His eyes are rolling back every five seconds, so sensitive and vulnerable under the influence of your wet cunt, especially now that there's no protection. "W-Woah, I'm— hhhhholy shit. Don't move, I might cum on the spot~" he warns you with a pornographic whine, pushing his hair back so he can get a clear view of your pussy trying to keep him all inside. "...I can go as fast as I want to as well, mm?~"
KUNIGAMI RENSUKE
Ugh, he's doing his best to act like he doesn't give a shit. "Yeah... fuckin' sure, we can do that. Won't make much difference." he said. "Again... I need more- more~" he growls and sighs now. So stubborn, but you love it. How his hair somehow becomes more messy due to how fucking turned on he is, how he keeps trying to stop his frown from faltering every time you clench on his ruthless huge cock. He's already fucked his cum further into you twice, clearly not able to get enough of the amplified pleasure that comes with being allowed to release all up inside your velvety pussy for the first time. "Did you get even t-tighter or something...? Fuck, fuck— ugh~" he pounds into you hard enough to bruise, his huge breeder balls smacking against your ass whilst a growing streak of white dribbles from your abused hole each time he bottoms out. "Jesus, fuck! H-Hah~" he's almost got tears in his eyes, the sheer euphoria seeming to be strong enough to puncture his pride.
SHIDOU RYUSEI
This guy wants it. He fucking loves it. He pressured you into this, after all, knowing well that you were rather paranoid about unprotected sex no matter how bad you wanted to experience him raw. "Oh, baby... please? C'mon, you gotsta' loosen up a little to have more fun with me~" he roughly placed a hand over your forehead to thoroughly stroke your hair back, making sure you felt like you had nowhere else to look besides his own, unnerving eyes. "Or you could let this big, raw fucking cock do that for you..." he'd offered lowly, a certain seriousness in his tone that you just couldn't shake as his nose almost touched yours. And so here you are, his unforgiving length buried deep within your guts. You swear you can feel his heartbeat inside of you, his erratic breathing and whining almost confirming your suspicions. "Gonna let me do this, yeah?~ ah, this feeling is fucking perfect I swearrr..." Shidou groans with a twisted, dirty grin when he makes you nod eagerly for him, "oh my god... can feel all of you, hah, ah- shit."
ITOSHI SAE
"I won't refuse." is what he responds with when you snatch the condom wrapper from his hand and toss it to the bedroom floor. "Mm." Sae grunts softly when his bare and pulsating cockhead squeezes its way past your glistening, pretty entrance as both of his hands massage the flesh of your ass. If it were any other girl he was slowly dipping his cock into right now, they wouldn't think he could notice any difference at all. But you're not any other girl, you can sense him preventing his blunt nails from damaging your asscheeks, hear the sound of his throat closing up to prevent an outright whine, feel his fat dick trying to jump within the sultry contracting of your walls. "G-Go, all of it~" you demand sweetly, reaching your hands back to hold his own and tug him in. His breath shakes once his tensing balls touch your clit, the sensation of his solid length pressing the very limits of your insides without a layer of latex separating you causing a hardly controlled "yeahhh..." to escape from behind his gritted teeth.
ITOSHI RIN
God, he's trying way too hard. Acting as if he's not falling to bits right before your misty eyes, as if he's not on the verge of fucking drooling like a rabid animal at the way your hot slick connects the very end of his perfect cock to your throbbing entrance with a clear string. "...'re you ready?" he asks in that breathy, addictive voice of his whilst impatiently sliding his tip up and down between your soft, slippery lower lips. Please, please, please is what he's chanting inside. "Green light." you respond with a strained and sexy moan muffled by your forearm, feeling him trace a circle around your clit, a cooling drop of pre-cum latching onto it once he pulls back to position himself. It's when the first few inches of him are surrounded by your heat that he struggles to let go of his breath without holding it again. "Whew- Alright, fuck..." Rin pants slowly, his tough guy act starting to crack uncontrollably under the power of your perfect cunt.
BAROU SHOUEI
He said nothing when you agreed. Just pulled you in for the roughest kiss you've ever had. And suddenly, you're being bounced like a rag doll on his horse cock, every vein as prominent as ever along your fleshy, sticky walls. "Never show me a condom again." he grunts into your neck, his big hands gripping your perfect body with a steel grip like he could lose you if he let go. "I wanna fill you up... wanna fill you up with my cum- agh~ hhhnnggh..." his voice is deep and grumbly, vibrating against your skin as he bites a little to show some restraint. The manner in which your walls are spasming around his raw, long cock is making it increasingly difficult to keep himself in check. "Damn it, please... don't make me lose control of myself..." he pleads lowly, his huge arms holding you in position and bouncing you harder on his fat dick. "H-oh my-... good, good girl."
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undiscovered-horizon · 7 months
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[It’s considered good etiquette to ask a man about his wife’s wellbeing. Except if the man in question is Dracule Mihawk.]
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Garp hates having to call Mihawk, mainly because of the warlord's attitude. Used to the usual "yes, sir!" of the Marines, a man with his own will and agenda is not something he entirely knows how to navigate. Especially since both of them know that the World Government needs the warlords more than they need the bureaucracy. And that doesn't exactly help in exercising power.
His attempts at diplomacy have burst into flames each time and today isn't going to be much different:
"How’s the missus?" Garp asks in the nicest tone he can force although he's aware that Mihawk knows how much the vice admiral hates asking for Dracule's assistance.
Mihawk only scoffs. "Are you calling just to spoil my mood or is there another reason for your impertinence?"
"I was just trying to-"
"Don't," he cuts him off in a stern voice. "If you have business with me, speak fast. If you're interested in my wife, I know where you live, Garp. I'd suggest losing your unwelcome nosiness before you lose something else."
Little did Garp know at the time but his little question was possibly the worst strategy he could think of. Dracule Mihawk is not like most men and the mere mention of his wife by acquaintances only enrages him. Work and private life do not ever mix. And he'll be damned if someone tries to breach that, even in the form of a courtesy. Therefore, the rest of the call was filled with openly insulting answers that were bold even for Mihawk. A veiled threat or two also found their way into their rather tense conversation.
You know he's done with Garp when he lets out a frustrated grunt. Sometimes you wonder if this grumpy, forever dissatisfied version of him is the only side of Mihawk his acquaintances know. Maybe he really is two men in the form of one.
He's sitting at his desk, thinking about something and not bothering to get up for now. Considering the fact that his hat is lying on the table and not on his head, Mihawk is probably not planning on going out anytime soon. Then again, judging by his spoiled mood, his homestay is a blessing for the first poor sods that would cross his path.
In slow steps, you stroll to his side, letting your hand brush through his hair. He doesn't say anything, only leans his head further towards you. The thing about Mihawk is that he loved to reject and decline but he never does so to you. No, in your case it's the opposite - he revels in allowing you whatever you want.
So intimidating and combative, yet soft and looking for intimacy. Truly, two men with the face of one.
"My mother used to say that each grey hair is one thing we worry about," you say quietly. "At this rate, love, your whole head will be white by noon."
"Your mother also says that milk goes sour because gnomes piss in it," he retorts. Yes, your mother and her strange folk beliefs... She's probably the only person Mihawk can force himself to be nice to despite his dislike.
His response earns a hearty laugh from you. Clear as day, you can see his posture relax as he listens to the music of your happiness. If he even thinks about the possibility of Garp or any other of his acquaintances hearing it, he might just get furious again.
"Well, nobody's perfect," you say between chuckles.
Then, Mihawk gently grabs your hand and lowers it to his face. With softness and passion that hardly befits a man of his infamy, he kisses the inside of your hand. "You seem to be doing so effortlessly."
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kitten4sannie · 4 days
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gold rush
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pairing: cowboy husband! san x wife! reader
genre: western au, smut
summary: san strikes gold, in more ways than one.
w.c: 1.2k
warnings: dom! san, sub? reader, sannie’s got a big cawk, cowboy themed pet names, one spank, praise, brief name calling, dirty talk (this man is out of pocket), tit play (reader also gives san a titty squeeze for obv reasons), lactation kink (don’t you look at me!!!!), unprotected outdoor sex (doggy, lotus position), brief hair pulling, finger sucking, breeding kink, impregnation kink, creampies
a/n: yes i just posted a whole ass fic yesterday b-but the voices…. the voicesssssss _:(´ཀ`」 ∠): AND NO I’M NOT OKAY. JUST LOOK AT HIM. grrrr ruff bark BARK anyways this is pure sannie brainrot so don’t expect much else fhwhwh that being said enjoyyy~~~
song recs: blind by ateez - slow down by chase atlantic - till the wheels fall off by cxloe
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“Push back on it, darlin’, just like that,” San groaned from behind you, one hand clutching the top of his leather Stetson hat, using the other to spread you wide open, admiring the way your soaked cunt swallowed up his thick, veiny length. He roughly smacked his calloused hand into the side of your ass, humming at the way it bounced. “Show me just how much of a whore you are for a rich man’s cock.”
“F-fuck, Sannie…” Your scratched-up knees began to grow weak underneath you, especially after being pounded into your ravenous husband for who knows how long, just knowing that he couldn’t keep his filthy hands off of you once you both had struck gold just a little while ago, clearly more concerned with painting your insides white, than with collecting the gold up and selling it off for a pretty penny.
“That can wait, sweetheart,” he had told you sometime earlier, his hands already slipping underneath your skirt, hiking it up to expose your pretty pussy, and using his teeth to undo the strings of your top. “Need you now,” he demanded, tugging your top down with the aid of his canines, unable to keep himself from running his tongue back and forth over your exposed tits, biting and sucking on them as much as he could, streaks of your milk dribbling down his chin to his chiseled chest, all the while he groaned and growled onto your slick skin like a ravenous wolf.
San suddenly wrapped his fingers around your hair at the base of your head, creating a makeshift ponytail, just in time for him to tug on it, forcing your back to arch, forcing even more of his cock inside you each time he rammed forward into you. “Don’t think ya’ heard me, darlin’,” he whispered breathily into your ear, hunching over your body so that his warm chest was pressed heavily into your bare back, reaching around to grasp your chin, turning it in his direction until your hazy, lust-filled eyes met his.
“It’s hard to hear you when you’re stirring up my guts, honey,” you replied in between shaky breaths, kissing the tip of his thumb when it slid over your bottom lip. “What’d you need to tell me?”
“Sweet thing, won’t you be a good wife and fuck yourself stupid on my cock?” He pressed a lingering kiss onto your flushed cheek, his middle and ring finger starting to slip into your open mouth, his wedding band cold against your hot tongue. “Can you do that for me? Can you remind me why I put a baby in you, darlin’?”
You couldn’t help but let out a muffled moan, sucking softly on your husband’s fingers, clawing at the hand sewn quilt underneath you. Just like your wedding night, you allowed your overwhelming love and lust to overtake you, driving yourself back onto his cock, timing your movements with his brutal thrusts, until you were both yelling and howling in pleasure like a couple wild animals.
“Oh, that’s it, that’s it, baby, fuck–” San growled through gritted teeth, his jaw tensing, wrapping his thick forearms around your middle just as he began to shudder. He held you tightly, forcing you to stay put, while he steadily pumped his load into your cunt, groaning loudly all the while. “Your sweet cunt’s milking me dry, darlin’. There wont be any left to breed you with when we get back to the cabin, if you keep this up…”
Your own release had splashed onto San’s cock and the soft cotton material below you, your knees wobbling, your arms beginning to feel like jelly. Your head and cunt were pulsing, but it still wasn’t enough. Not nearly. Before San knew it, you had jumped into his lap, exploring his broad upper body with your hands, running them up and down his chest, squeezing into his pecs just enough to draw a low whine from your husband’s lips, your fingers idly playing with the fringe that hung from his black leather vest.
“What’s this, hm?” San chuckled lowly, giving you a sideways smile, his dimples appearing. “Baby still hasn’t had enough? Does that pretty pussy of yours need more milk?”
You nodded your head eagerly, already lowering yourself down onto his hardened length inch by inch, whimpering at the sensation of being stretched out so incredibly wide by your husband’s oversized cock. “Fuck me, Sannie, please, need you so bad,” you voiced with clear desperation, hooking one of your arms around his neck, the other holding onto his leather hat.
“I will, darlin’…” San grabbed onto your thighs, kneading his palms into them like he was rolling out dough, slowly moving up to your hips. “Just need you to ride me first.” When you began to drive yourself down onto his cock, San nodded his head in approval, running his hands up your abdomen to your tits, leaning his head down, his small tongue already slipping out past his pink lips to lap at them. “Look at you, baby, riding my cock like a good little cowgirl.”
“Just for you, just for you, Sannie,” you whined in between gasps for air, pushing his Stetson hat off so that you could slip your fingers directly into his shaggy raven hair, bringing his face further into your chest. You angled your head up to gaze at the moon with teary eyes, feeling your husband’s cock throb heavily against your pulsing walls, listening to the noisy sounds of him slurping up the milk that you produced for him, shuddering at the sensation of his tongue and teeth on your puffy nipples.
San finally brought himself out of the fuzzy headspace he was in, licking the remaining milkiness away from his lips, before he clutched your face on either side, pressing his forehead to yours, his sweaty bangs sticking to your skin. “You want it inside, darlin’?”
“Inside.” Your gaze sharpened, quickly dropping yourself down onto San’s cock over and over, your fingers tugging at the choppy hair near his neckline, not relenting until he let out a series of broken moans. “Show me how much of a whore you are for a rich woman’s cunt,” you sighed out against his parted lips, clenching onto your husband’s twitching cock, wrapped tightly around him, like a serpent would be with its prey.
“Darlin’….!” the cash-rich cowboy cried out, reaching down to cement his hands around your waist, beads of sweat dripping off of his sharp jaw, sliding over and in between his pronounced pecs. Despite the instinctual urge to jackhammer his load into you, he instead found himself slowly rolling his hips up into you, releasing rope after rope of cum from his pulsing cock, emptying it into your willing womb. “M’ filling you up so much, fuck, gonna knock you up again, sweetheart.”
“Oh, Sannie…” Shuddering from your own release, your thighs trembling profusely around San’s slim waist, you pressed your lips onto his, exchanging a few gentle, loving kisses until your tingling bodies and minds slowly began to come down from their highs.
San pouted slightly, his lower lip jutting out, rubbing your tummy in small, gentle circles. “What if we really do end up having another kid?”
“Would that be so bad, San?” You pressed your forehead against his, humming softly, enjoying your dear husband’s company, the crackling campfire beside the both of you highlighting your rosy, love-struck faces with a warm, inviting glow, one that was reminiscent of the rising sun. “We struck gold, after all.”
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