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the-dream-beyond · 11 months

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Episode 15 - Unleashing the Entrepreneurial Spirit & Rewriting the Rules of Success with John Ratliff

John Ratliff

But one of the things you are when you're an entrepreneurs builder, you're literally creating something out of nothing. Whether it's a startup or a new division or a new service offering or even new marketing materials, new ads, new copy new content, whatever it is, we we are blessed we get the gift as entrepreneurs to be in constant creation mode now, because that's, that's literally how you build the future of business.

Nik Tarascio

This episode is honestly one of my favorite. This guest is going to be talking about just his incredible journey through the entrepreneurial arc from the highs to the lows, to the spiritual awakenings and a bunch of lessons along the way. So I really hope you take some time to sit with this one, write some notes. I mean, there's just so much good stuff that that he shares with us today. So hope you enjoy.

Welcome to the dream beyond. I'm your host, Nik Tarascio. I'm a CEO musician, an overall seeker of Truth, inspiration and simply put, how to live the most fulfilling life possible. Growing up surrounded by extremely wealthy and successful people gave me unique and unfiltered perspectives of those who have seemingly made it on the dream beyond we're letting you in on what it really takes to achieve your dreams. What happens when it turns out your destination isn't the promised land you are expecting and how to process the lessons from your past while mapping of course to true fulfillment. Let's get started.

All right. Hey, everybody. He is the CEO of scaling up coaches, and Managing Director and Partner of a line five strategic consultancy firm. He's also a serial entrepreneur with over 25 years of experience as a CEO and investment banker. He was the founder and CEO of Apple Tree answers. The telephone answering service started in 1955. And my favorite thing about him he's a fellow pilot, flying my favorite airplane, the TBM 850. Please welcome John Ratliff. Thanks so much for being here today, John.

John Ratliff

Thanks, Nick, good to see you. I wish it was 15 years experience not over 25. But good to be.

Nik Tarascio

All good. I'm on my way to you, man. I'm building that experience. So I appreciate it. And you know, I was really affected by you. And I saw you speak at one of the scaling up conferences, and you were talking about your journey. And I think it was about Michael singers book or something like that. And I just saw you like, really kind of go there with the emotional stuff. And it made me want to touch on that today. But even go a little further back, which was you've had this incredible success throughout your career, at least from what it seems from the outside. And I was wondering like, what was that early dream for you when you were a teenager when you were just finding your way towards business? What was that? What was the first thing you really dreamed up?

John Ratliff

Yeah, you know, it's interesting. I the running joke in my family was I was 10 years old. And you know, instead of firemen or policemen, when when I got the question, what do you want to do when you grow up? I didn't even know the word entrepreneur was really not a word that was being used a lot back then. But I kind of always had this idea that I wanted to own a business. And I was fascinated by it from an early age. And I don't know if it was a desire to be independent, or, or, you know, call my own shots. And I'm not sure but I knew from a very, very young age and, you know, I was the kid with the paper route. And, you know, always thinking about, you know, what can I do that mowed lawns, and then hired other kids to mow lawns and, and then in high school did things out of business in college doing marketing. And so it was, it was really kind of in my blood, I think the whole way that I got out of college and I worked for, I worked for a wireless phone company for about six or seven months as a commissioned salesperson and then convinced the carrier back then to let me open my own stores. I was the ripe old age of 22. And the rest is history. So I haven't worked for anyone, since that that was one of the two jobs that ever held was the commission only salesperson, so might as well. So

Nik Tarascio

Where do you think it came from? You said it was in you know, you felt it in your blood? But who inspired that? Or where do you think the source was for you?

John Ratliff

Yeah, you know, it's fascinating. My dad was a fortune 500 C suite level executive. So ran global sales for a company that at their peak was probably fortune 360 ad reported directly to the CEO. And I, I kind of just love the idea of business in general. And but what I didn't love watching my dad's career and was how long it took them to get into the C suite. So I thought, you know, the quick solution is you figure it out on your own and you start your own company. And so I think my love of business came from watching my dad and kind of how he operated in the business world and then I think my impatience was probably what led me to pursue the entrepreneurial route. It's funny, I interned at the company that, you know, that he worked with in college.

And this was in the late 80s, early 90s. And there were a bunch of sales guys there that were making, there were two days in that office making seven figures in like 1990, which is, you know, massive amount back then. And I knew that I wanted to be entrepreneurial, and they were like, You're crazy, should go work in corporate America. And this is where, you know, this is where you can make more money than anywhere else. And in hindsight, you know, I, I still stand by my decision to be an entrepreneur, but there was certainly some pressure early on that, you know, to go a different path. But I think that was probably why I didn't want to wait, I didn't want to take the time. That's probably why I'm not a doctor, I didn't want to do 12 years of medical school, I wanted to kind of make my mark straight away. I didn't want to go to college.

Nik Tarascio

Like, do you speak about becoming a doctor, like a jail sentence? do much? Well, you know, it's

John Ratliff

my younger brother. We're neurologists, and I, you know, I watched his career and but, you know, I think he was in his early to mid 30s, before he actually got to get out in the world and kind of do what he does. So, man, it's like patience. I think that's probably in hindsight, my massive level of impatience that that led me to be entrepreneurial.

Nik Tarascio

And then once you got there, and you started, you started your own business, and you're kind of moving through that. Was it different than what you thought the dream would be? Like? It was the dream, to own a business and to be running a business was the dream to exit a business? Like, you know, I'm curious how that compared to the reality of it when you were actually in the trenches?

John Ratliff

No, the dream was to own and run never really, in the beginning thought about exit. And, you know, probably the most surprising part of all of it was a how much you don't know, you know, the, the knowledge gap, when there's a lot of subtle things about being successful as an entrepreneur, and be lonely it is because most of my friends went traditional routes, one of my best friends growing up ones, that attorney wants a school teacher.

And, you know, when you when you sit around, it's difficult to explain the entrepreneurial journey to others. And it and that's, you know, we'll get to the medical center stuff, I think, it really creates kind of a sense of loneliness. And, and I, I actually believe that one of the things that leads you to be entrepreneurial, certainly add is, you know, most entrepreneurs carry that add trait. So you're, you're just sort of antsy and unsettled. And I think that's part of it. But you also see things in the world that aren't optimal, and you have a desire to make them optimal. So I think it can be frustrating, it can be lonely, it can be hard to talk about. That was probably the biggest surprise, you know, I I end early, you know, when you start and you're in startup mode, and you don't know a lot it, you know, the early days can really be frustrating. And they were for sure.

Nik Tarascio

Were there. I mean, were there actually moments where, you know, you had that that corporate person you were talking about in your head, it was saying you should have gone this path. Did you have those moments of incredible self doubt.

John Ratliff

So I started the I started a wireless company, seven months after, you know, working for the the one real job that I had, and managed to sell that business, actually to my former employer about two years later and started a call center business, which turned into Apple Tree answers. And I was about that business was 24/7 365, and started completely from scratch. And I did a lot of the shoulder period work where you know, someone had to be there around the clock to answer the phone. I was trying to build the business during the day and we had people that were in during the day to answer the phone.

But I lived at the office, it was in a commercially zoned apartment complex and I lived in the office and I would do all the overnights and weekends and there were there were literally weeks and possibly months where I never left the office because I was I was the one answering the phone and there was a moment about two years and it was four in the morning on a Monday. So it was I worked the entire weekend by myself. It was it was Saturday night, Sunday night and then Sunday into Monday. And I had not slept more than two hours in probably, I don't know four or five days and I had this a big buzzer next to my bed so when the phone rang, the buzzer would go off and wake me up and we had residential neighbors upstairs. They love that but so the buzzer would go off and it would wake me from a dead sleep and I'd go and stumbling and answer the phone. It was about like I said for a Monday Warning, the buzzer went off and I was done. I'd had enough and the way I had it set up so I was sort of sounded awake enough to actually be on the phone, I had to walk by this closet in the apartment and all the equipment for the call center, like the phones and the computers and stuff are in this closet. And I walked by and I glanced in there, the light was on and I'm like, I'm done. I've done enough.

And I went in there and I literally grabbed kind of mainframe computer switch that ran everything and I put my hands on it. That was getting yanked out out of the tax, I was gonna yank it out of the wall, throw it on the ground and sleep for two days, because I was done. And I put my hands on it, I reached out and I grabbed it. And I had one of those like, you know, they talked about your life passes before your eyes, like I actually saw it was crazy. But I saw kind of my business life passed before my eyes and and I realized in that moment that if I am so close by just got this out and figure out a way to get through the next couple of months and couple of years that there's something really good on the other end. And I have my whole kind of mindset changed in that in in that instant. And the sense of calm came over me and I was obviously wide awake at this point. And I when I sat down this, there's a punch line to the story. But I sat down and the call was what we did in the call center business was we answered the phone for companies, when they weren't there to do it themselves.

For some of them. It was around the clock. For some it was after hours, this happened to be an after hours one. It was it was Delaware Express, they used to pick people up and take them to the airport and four o'clock. They got lots of calls at four o'clock in the morning. So I sit down to answer it. I'm all ready to help this person figure out how they're going to get to the airport or their drivers not there or whatever. So I answered the phone. I said good morning, Delaware express how may I help you and I hear a voice on the other end of the phone good. Ah, sorry, man, wrong number and hangs up. So I almost threw it all the way over a wrong number for one of our clients. But it was that moment where I just I just had enough of a shift that I knew if I got it out. I was gonna I was gonna be okay. So that was my, it lasted. But I was ready to be in the C suite in that instant for sure.

Nik Tarascio

But how did you and how did you make meaning of that? On the other side? I mean, it sounds like now you've put it into a clear box of like, Oh, that was in many ways my life flashing before my eyes. And I saw the two paths in the moment. I mean, did you think you're crazy or delusional like or was it really this knowing that came over you like that was something beyond me.

John Ratliff

So I sat down and after it was the wrong number, I just sort of laughed, and I just kind of sat there and said, All right. Like, you know, and back then I am now but back then I wasn't a big like, you know, that's a sign kind of guy. But. But I sat there for probably 10 minutes or so. And I just thought like, I've put so much work and so much effort to get to this moment. To throw it away now would be a disservice to all the people that supported me to all the people that, you know, we didn't really have outside investors, but my family had lent money and I owed money to friends and family that that helped me along the way and to quit would be not only quitting on me, but it'd be quitting on them.

And yeah, just, you know, it all shipped out. Listen, there were a lot of dark days between that that realization and today, but it just kind of changed my perspective a little bit on, you know, there's more people than just me that, you know, are counting on me here. And, you know, we had at the time, probably, she's 100 150 customers, and it would have been a lot on I'm glad that I came to my senses and didn't throw it all all the way in that that moment, but it would have been a lot to unwind it over weeks or months. So you know, that was probably the revelation was, hey, there's a lot that's gone into this. A lot of people are counting on you suck it up and figure this out. So I did.

Nik Tarascio

Yeah. And, again, I mean, I imagine that a lot of people go through that moment that, you know, is this even worth it? I hope it's worth it, but only if the future gets brighter. You know, you've done coaching with people. So I imagine, you know, what advice do you give to people that are there kind of approaching that cliff right? You can kind of see as they're going into, like they're kind of falling out of love with their business. They're not sure if this is the right path. Other stuff looks really interesting. Yeah. What do you impart on people in that space?

John Ratliff

Yeah, one of the things you know, I get to I get asked a lot to talk to kind of new young entrepreneurs and, you know, even pre startup or startup one of the things I say all the time, it sounds a little like a platitude, but it's to me it's totally true is you have to be willing to say I am NOT what willing to fail. Like, if, if I'm not going to make it, it's because I left every single ounce of everything I have on the field. And I just ran out of runway like, and if if you're someone that gets discouraged and has a track record, and you've got to look inside, and I believe, I believe anyone can be an entrepreneur, but I also believe you have to have a certain mindset and makeup. And I believe you can learn that mindset and learn that makeup. But if you don't want to, or you're not willing to, then you should never ever think about an entrepreneurial path. And that mindset is, failure is not an option.

And again, I know that sounds cliche, but it really is because it would have been i and when I tell you, I was like, I don't remember a lot of 1997 I was that sleep deprived. And in that moment, it would have been totally easy to say that this, this is crazy. Like, I don't see an end inside and I can give up right now, no one would have questioned and said, Hey, I can't believe you quit, like, and my mom who did our books, and would answer the phone during the day to help out sometimes, literally said to me every single day for over a year, this is the dumbest idea you've ever had, you should you should get rid of this thing tomorrow. So I had the backing of my mind support team and my family to throw in the towel. But in hindsight, and if you're a young entrepreneur, or you're thinking about this path, again, anyone can do it for you better, like have the right mindset and mental approach to it.

And failure can't be it, you can't give up easy because you'll never make it. And when you hear great success stories, there's always some of those more I need to do this. Probably a lot. And there's always some of those moments where that was the fork in the road. And I happen to go right and thank God right was the correct direction or left or whatever it was, and, and often those are those moments of like, do I quit? Or do I not? And, you know, you can't be willing to throw in the towel. Unless, you know your health is at risk or you you literally exhausted every every option. So and yeah, failure is important. And I get it like, but it's it's failures along the way, but but quitting on what you're trying to build. That's what I'm talking about. Not it's okay to fail. But it's, it's to me, not okay to just quit and throw in the towel.

Nik Tarascio

So it's a huge difference, I think, too. And I'm curious to know, from the time you were in that year, where you again, were driving yourself to this level of sleep deprivation, how much of it was driven by you know, this belief that there was something better on the other side and how much was just self abuse.

John Ratliff

So when I when I talked about my business life flashed before my eyes, that final scene was the belief that something better was on the other side. So I was deeply entrenched in that belief in that. You know, the running joke about I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, but wasn't sure if it was an oncoming train. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. And listen, it sucks for five more years. I mean, don't get me wrong, it was it was brutally hard. One of my one of my running joke pieces of advice is don't start at 24/7 365 business, unless you have at least five partners one for each day to work around the clock.

But I was a I was a cap table of one I was the only you know, I was the only one so but it was in that moment that I saw it and I knew like not only saw but knew, like internally knew if I stick with this, it's going to work and there's going to be a good outcome. So that's got to be I mean, it if it were easy anyone would do it being an entrepreneurs is probably the most irrational decision anyone can ever make. The odds are stacked I mean, you know, there's no backstop, it's easier when you're young. It's really hard when you have a family but but it's also it when done well and, and part of your chords. It's the single greatest gift you can give yourself which is freedom and independence. So but it is a wrap zone every single way.

Nik Tarascio

And so you're saying it's not only hard to be an entrepreneur, but also may be hard to run a 24/7 airline that that may not be the most rational decision. Yeah,

John Ratliff

I would. Absolutely. Absolutely say when it's only you and it's three in the morning. It's not Yeah, it's absolutely irrational. But yeah,

Nik Tarascio

I think that's probably why a lot of airlines are family but As nurses, because you need a lot of family members to put up with the shit of it's Christmas, though and like nobody cares. It's nobody cares about your personal life anymore. No,

John Ratliff

no, it's Christmas, I need to get from point A to point B. So that's

Nik Tarascio

right. I mean, it's right. Even more. So. Yeah. Yeah. So we've dealt with dealt with a lot of that. And,

John Ratliff

you know, all kidding aside, sometimes it's, I'm not, I'm not a great partner. So I struggle in partnership style. I'm, I'm in part I've been in and I'm currently in partnerships. I don't think I make a good partner, because I'm so fiercely independent. But there are times where it's really nice to have somebody else to just say, Hey, I'm like, at the end, can you you know, can you handle this? Or can you handle this. So there's a lot to be said, for having people around you that that you can, you know, talk to, and then pass things off to when you're when you're at the break or your breaking point. And I didn't have that which, you know, in hindsight, it would have been nice to have.

Nik Tarascio

You know, the other thing that really stands out, and what you said for me is like there have been almost in my life. But you know, I grew up I'm generation to have a family business that I think the vision was survival. Like when you really think like, what do you guys envision for the future? It's like just making it through the next pay cycle, and figure out a way to not go out of business. But you know, there were times where we just kind of adrift and didn't have a vision of the future and what you said about having that vision, if it will get better. That sounds like the true north of anybody. I mean, even if it's a relationship, that's hard, right? If you're like I'm in a marriage, that's really difficult. I mean, that vision of the future seems to be the lifeline that allows people to muster that last bit of energy and push through. And, you know, when you said that, that really brought that, to me were like, my hardest years were the ones where I didn't know where I was going. Yeah, I didn't know why I was working so hard.

John Ratliff

It's fascinating. I, I think and especially that I've tripled down on this thought, but I think the most important skill an entrepreneur possesses is creativity. And that was never more apparent. Like I said, I tripled down during COVID. I think that's, that's three times more important than it was in 2019. But even in 2019, I think the most important skill you can possess as an entrepreneur is creativity. The second most important skills, optimism, because you have to be the second that you're pessimistic about the future, you start making sub optimal decisions subconsciously, if you don't see a brighter future, there's a really, really good chance you're gonna make suboptimal decisions. So if he can muster even in the darkest days, you can muster some semblance of optimism. I think that can be the sort of the energy that propels you through. And, you know, I know some pretty Rockstar entrepreneurs names that you would know. And that's one of those skills that I'm always amazed that in their darkest days, in the face of like, this is impossible. They're still optimistic. And those lessons from some of those people are ality so it's been been pretty cool. Yeah, the

Nik Tarascio

pandemic was a great lesson in that I remember when we first went into it, we doubled very early in the pandemic, partly because when people were basically protecting their cash, we went out and bought anything we could buy the fit with art, we were hire people hold all of our people buy new planes, because the thought was if the whole industry goes to zero, I'd rather go down in flames. Like, let's have fun with this thing. Yeah. But if it turns the other direction, we might as well play for the win. Yeah. And you're right, if we hadn't had that moment of, you know, there's actually a lot of hope here, I think we would have missed the boat. And we would have been stuck defending this square when everyone else had already placed their bets.

John Ratliff

Yeah. And that, you know, you, you say an interesting thing. When you talk about defending the square, sometimes when you've started to taste or have some semblance of success, you're playing not to lose instead of to win. And, and, you know, with our coaching community, we really saw there were there were three very distinct mindsets through the pandemic. And we, we changed from, we used to get on a call with our coaches once a month. We were doing two or three calls a week at one point just to see and it was cool because we have 250, scaling up coaches all around the world. So we were getting to see the pandemic from a global perspective. We had a coach in China, for instance, that was like at the tip of the spear and Europe and South America and, you know, Africa, a couple of coaches in Africa and India. And we really saw three distinct kind of mindsets. And one was there was a group of entrepreneurs that were being coached by our clients that just went into motion like as long as they were in motion.

They weren't really thinking about what they were doing, but they had to just take action like that was there. And I'm talking about in the very early days, the March, April days up to wanting to it. And then the second group, total deer in the headlights, they just froze and didn't know what to do. And their fear, like literally caused them to be, like completely stuck, bad, no action whatsoever and no creativity or thinking. And then the third grid sort of took a step back and said, Okay, this is this is new, but I've relative experience from the past, maybe not directly correlated. But, you know, I understand patterns of business. And I've got gut instinct and some decision making chops. Let me just observe and see what's going on. And then let me fit in. I don't know if you're familiar with OODA, loop, Oda, it's from the fighters, John Boyd. So from an OODA Loop perspective, they were in observation mode, so no bias, just let me take in all the data that I can't, we actually adopted the OODA loop on these on a weekly sort of rhythm and pace for the coaches. And would be hard this week, we're just going to observe that first Oh, and who to Oh, the, we're just going to observe no bias, like, we're not going to assign what we think to what we see, we're just gonna take in all the data we can. In week two, we're going to orient, which is the second Oh, nuda.

Where do we fit in? Like, what's, what's our place? And what we've just observed, and then a fighter pilot kind of pilots, it's, you know, kept taking in all the data. But where do I fit in the data? Where's my wingman? And where's the sun? Where's, you know, as a cloudy is said, Friday out, it's windy, all those things. And then the third week was okay, now we need to make a decision, what are we going to do next. And then we need to take action and decision and action happened in the same week, but it stretched out, don't decide this week and take action next. But what I love about that framework, that mindset of the OODA Loop is as soon as you take action, you immediately go back into observation mode. And the coaches that were the most successful, and the entrepreneurs that were most successful, were the ones that immediately soon as I took an action, again, went back to no bias. And let's just see what happens. Let's see what's going on in the the analogy we give, we give a million of them. But one of the ones that resonates as you think about if you watch basketball, a great player takes three point shot, and they admire their shot as it's arcing through the air towards the basket. So they've taken their action, but they're not back to observation yet.

They're actually pausing to admire their whatever their action, their shot. The world class player sues the balls left his hand. He doesn't care if it goes in or not. He's right back to observation. Okay, where are the opponents? I, you know, that shot, I see it arcing. But I'm not going to stand here and admire it, I'm gonna like figure out where I fit, I'm gonna orient again. And I'm making the next decision, I'm taking the next action for the balls, even to the basket. And, and again, John Boyd, the fighter pilot said, if I can get my loop tighter, and I can get inside my opponent, and then COVID will call coach with the opponent if, if I can get inside that loop, that I have an advantage over that over the competitor. And, and again, it was that third group of our coaches and our clients. And eventually we got everyone in this mindset was, let's observe, let's orient, let's decide act.

And let's observe again, and they were the ones that really thrived. And I hear with you, you know, you guys buying airplanes. And obviously, assets were on sale for half price. That whole time. And it sounds like you went through a lot of those same iterations, like Alright, see what's going on, let's see where we are able to make a decision, take action, and let's see where we are. So I admire the fact that you took action during a period where a lot of people were completely stuck. And that's what's up became, again, I three times more important during that period than it ever was. But always, I think the most important skill for an entrepreneur.

Nik Tarascio

Well, just like any good creativity, I'm gonna go completely off script with where I wanted to go with you now that you talked about that. So, of course, create creativity is an interesting thing for me, because, you know, again, as evidenced by the guitars on my wall, I was a musician and I never I rejected business. I said, I don't want to be a suit. Something about being a suit just scared the hell out of me was like, that's just death while I'm still alive. And only to find out that for me, going back to the visioning is that I saw the most important creative act I need to have is to paint a picture so compelling of the future that people would dedicate their life, their time away from their family to help build it.

And when it got hard, they'd be like, it's still a really beautiful picture. And it reminds me of what's possible. Yeah. And it's really that that I was like, well, writing a song is one thing, building a vision of the future that hasn't happened yet. That is just a whole other level of artistry. And so I am curious to hear more about how you seek Creativity showing up for you are some of the other people that you've worked with, because I've never really made that connection that maybe I'm actually a good entrepreneur because I'm a creative, you know, the creative, the creative part of me, not in spite of it.

John Ratliff

I totally, I mean, one of the things you are when you're an entrepreneurs builder, you're literally creating something out of nothing, whether it's a startup or a new division, or a new service offering or even new marketing materials, new ads, new copy new content, whatever it is, we we are blessed we get the gift, as entrepreneurs to be in constant creation mode. No, because that's, that's literally how you build the future of business. If you and again, I admire the people that show up to make our creative visions reality, and how can we compel people to to be part of what we want to create. But if you don't create a compelling vision, there's no place for people to show up to play in that game. And I also believe that one of the reasons you're so drawn, and again, I'm going to be super assumptive.

But part of it my my oldest five, a 20 year old, who's a singer songwriter, I was just on a United flight and one of the movies in rotation on the United flight. As a 20 year old, he's got songwriting credit in that movie. So he's, he's at the top of his game, and I've watched him grow up as a creative. But one of the things that really compels him, and I would imagine you is his creativity, the ability to move other people, right, so you write a song and write it for yourself first. But you also write it to be out in the world and inspire others. It's no different in business and creating a really compelling vision for a business and building something from nothing. Your businesses don't live in a vacuum, they exist to serve customers and serve employees, and serve stakeholders. Without the creative energy that goes into the building of that nothing happens.

And probably the same reason you want to construct a song for you first, but for others to enjoy, is what drives you to build business for you first, but for others to solve a problem or get from A to B or show up to work and feel like they're part of something bigger than themselves. And I think that's our, that's our burden. And our gift is entrepreneurs. And I don't want to again, it sounds platitude, and cliche, but someone's got to build that stuff, right? Because if if, if all of us were really good gone to work in other people's visions, there'd be no vision, right? Someone's got to create the compelling case. And yeah, that's, that's the thing I love the most about being entrepreneurs, the creation part. So that's why I'm super super, like adamant that creativity is the most important skill. So

Nik Tarascio

yeah, it's, again, as you were talking, it just really brought me through of how much both my music and my relationship to the business have followed the exact same arc, which is I used to suffer to create from my own pain. And I'm like, no wonder why I love my family's business. It was most painful thing I could imagine. It was the 24/7 Sleep deprivation. I basically lived at the hangar doing the same things for am flights and all types of crazy stuff. And I was like, Wow, this this was at the end of the day, I was self referential, how do I make this thing survive for me and for my family? I noticed over the last five years, this real shift into what is it like to create from abundance?

Like what is it like to create in service of others, my music has become that my business leadership has become that where it's like, yeah, I care more about the culture of the company than even what we do. If we have people that love their day, and love the job and love the work that they do, and customers that appreciate that I don't really care what I'm putting out. I don't care if it's airplanes or, you know, we're paint houses. So it's really interesting to hear you say that I've never really visualized how those two things were in lockstep. So it's, it has been my spiritual path, which kind of tees up I'm curious about yours. And that's really what I think drew me to you in the first place was you talking about I think it was being on a flight. I don't want to ruin your story. But I remember you talking about reading one of the Michael singer books.

John Ratliff

Yeah. Well, and I definitely want to get into that because it's such a cool story. But just taking one step back for you. I would imagine there was a moment where, like you grew up in a family business. And we we see it again, in our in our conscious community. We work with lots and lots and lots of family businesses in m&a. I've taken lots family companies to market there was probably a moment where you wax and feeling like you are sort of forced into the family business as in a in an employment role and quite possibly the worst possible employment role because you didn't have a lot of choice in the matter and someone else's vision was guiding what you needed to do it for them.

And then that was probably a flip of the switch like, Hey, I have some say I have a seat at the table. I have a stake in this outcome, and I can do some of the Creation work. So we see that all the time and in family business But fast forward to the to Michael singer and in that whole piece to the puzzle. So, you know I in the flight you were right, so I battled depression. And I strongly believe that a lot of what compels people to be entrepreneurs, is they are dissatisfied with the status quo. They want to go out and make change in the world, they want to create it a lot of creatives battled depression, a lot of entrepreneurs, I think, battled depression, the stats say, seven or eight out of 10, at some point in their entrepreneurial journey will have a moderate or greater, depressive moment. For me it was it started early on I was I was a kid, battled through high school I battled through college, never talked about it kind of didn't even really acknowledge it to myself, but it was always with me. And the metaphor I use, it was like having a blanket, and there were some times blanket was really heavy.

Or sometimes I was barely sort of cognizant that it was there, but it was always with me. And it was always sort of weighing me down. And then I go through my, there were some dark days, like I shared ripping the thing out of the wall that was a super depressive period. So I go all the way through to the end, and I I sell the company and you know, should have been the happiest kind of set of moments in my life but still battling like, now you sort of lose your identity and and all the things that went with it. So it was really like it actually kind of heightened my depressive state. And again, my my arc was, you know, from, at times, suicidal to times, barely, barely recognized that I was depressed, but it was always with me. And I was part of a group called Genius Network. I'm still part of it today got in Joe call us out in Phoenix and and Joe is a great mentor to entrepreneurs. And he's been on his own journey with addiction and all sorts of other stuff. So, but like one of those real good curators of like groups and and thought leadership and ideas.

So I went out to one of his meetings and and we would meet three or four times a year in Phoenix, and he had put out in front of everyone that they're up there, you know, see the Untethered Soul by Michael singer. And one of the weird things that happened when I was in my more depressive states, I lost my ability to read. And I'm a lifelong learner, like, I believe that that's another like creativity, optimism, lifelong learner, right third on the list of important skills for our for our success. When you can't read, it's hard. And then you know, video and audible and stuff, but I literally had kind of lost, I could read a page or two and then have a really bad headache. The word started to look weird. So the books out there, I'm like, Yeah, great. I can't read anyway, so I tucked it in my briefcase. And I was flying the TBM at the time, but Phoenix I would only do the TBM from from Wilmington, Philly area to Phoenix if I had other stops to make. So I happened to be on a commercial flight.

And so the books in the briefcase, I'm flying home, somewhere over probably Nebraska. And I don't even know I reached down but I reached down and pulled out the Untethered Soul. And I started to read and realize them, like 10 pages in 20 pages in 30 pages and and kind of like, well, I'm surprised that can even get this far. Because normally it's two pages, and I'm done. And I get somewhere around I don't know, probably, I think I should know what page it is. But there's a section in the book where he talks about depression and trauma and and how a lot of times we just suppress negative emotions instead of dealing with them and moving on from them and that you carry negative emotions, like physical energy inside your body. And if you can just let it go. Oftentimes, you let it go forever. No, that's fascinating. And then again, he talks Michael singer talks in the book about if you can just sort of like when you're experiencing negativity, instead of like cramming it down, like just sort of move by. But he said, but you've got years if not decades of other negative that you've crammed in.

And the best way to get rid of it is to just kind of, again, it's a physical like, reference, but it's on a mental topic, but he's like, just kind of lean away from it and like feel your heart open up and like know that all that negatives like down into your stomach and just sort of let it like, Come out, come out, relive it one more time and let it go. So I'm like yeah, You know that's that's an whatever I'm I'm just happy I'm reading I'm lookouts and interesting idea. Know what made me do it but I just sort of sat back in my seat sitting in like, row two and first class, right. And I just sort of sit back in my seat. And I, I let like some weird negative thing and I was thinking about like, it did exactly what he described in the book. And like, I like, feel it in my chest like, and it comes up and I like felt this weird thing in my throat and I watched it sort of go away. And he's like, Oh, that was interesting. So like, I let like something else go. Next thing I know, my whole body's like, I put my finger in a electrical socket. I'm like, literally, like, I feel like I'm like humming like vibrating. All this energy is like, flooding into me. And all this negative shit. And sorry to curse on your podcast, but

Nik Tarascio

it's okay. We could put it explicit.

John Ratliff

All this negative stuff, we can make it where you make good stuff. Oh, is that your stuff? Is like coming out of me. And I'm like, buzzing like, like absolutely euphoric. And I realize, which is the hilarious part that like, tears of joy are literally streaming down my face, where they're like, dripping off my shirt. And I remember distinctly having this moment where I'm like, Oh, my gosh, I am sure everyone in first class thinks I'm absolutely out of my mind. And I'm like, probably preparing to take this plane down. Right? So I put sunglasses on because I'm so like, I'm not even embarrassed. I'm just aware of like, what is the sociopath doing and to see like crying like this. I mean, it was not like, it wasn't like, it was just euphoria, like just so I get off the plane. I'm still like, total like, like vibration, like Buzz state that lasted.

And for the first time since I was 12, the blanket was gone. And I mean, like, totally gone. I felt lighter. I felt like it was it was crazy. Like, I know, this story, contextually sounds bizarre, but trust me, it was like, That lasted for six weeks. And it was funny because I had a friend of mine that I hadn't seen in probably six months. And spacetime to me should request. She was doing an acquisition, and she wanted to ask about it. And she FaceTimed me. And she's like, Oh my God, you look like you've lost like 50 pounds, I had not lost an ounce. But she noticed in the first 10 seconds on a FaceTime that this weight that was on noon, which was this blanket, literally, it was gone. And it was and I can't tell you how many people in that ensuing six weeks while I was still like, totally connected to this energy. We're like, You look totally different.

And nothing changed except for except for that. So obviously, and I tell that story from stage, and I've recommended the Untethered Soul to 1000s of people, I get people that I don't even know all the time come up to me and they're like, I can't believe it, that that totally changed me. So for anyone that's, you know, battling depression, and, and it's not a cure all for everybody. But there's some great like mindsets in there about just how to release stuff that is not serving us at all that we're holding on to just because we didn't want to deal with it in the first place. I mean, some of this stuff I was carrying around for decades. And it all just sort of went. So it's crazy story. It's great. And it's amazing. I was not I had a spiritual awakening moment, actually in the British Virgin Islands on Necker Island. But I was not a super spiritual person at this particular moment in time, I became one down the road and now but that was not like this wasn't a woowoo I'm like, super spiritual. This was just a technique on how to get rid of negative crap that we're carrying around. So

Nik Tarascio

beautiful story. I was affected by it. It was I heard it like 10 years ago, or eight years ago or something, and it always stuck with me.

John Ratliff

I still to this day, have people that will come up to me and it's tell Believe me when I tell you, I was probably with you if you were stealing up probably in front of seven or 800 people and I get emotional when I tell it and it's hard to do that. It'd be that vulnerable in front of the number of people but I actually feel like it's my responsibility. Because it happened for me the to go through to share. So that's why I share it. I don't share it because it's fun to get on stage and cry in front of several people, but it was it was the most powerful. To that point in my life. It was one most powerful thing I've ever experienced. So who's crazy?

Nik Tarascio

That's a Yeah, it's a big one. And I think it's that wait. I see it all the time, especially with entrepreneurs. I see it all the time where, you know, you ask the question at a conference, how's it going? It's good. And you know, or it's great. And you're like, No, I see the weight. I see the weight on you. Yeah, it is beautiful to see that, you know, books like Michael singers books. And that was a that was a big one for me, too. That was definitely one that was like, Oh, shit. There's like a whole other realm of stuff going on here that I can't quite understand. Yeah. But but you know, coming, coming through something like that, and later finding a connection to spirituality. I am curious what, you know, what have you found? Or what what is the relationship to fulfillment as you've kind of gone through the door of like, you had a lot of the external trappings of success. I mean, literally, you're living the I got the plane, I sold the company, I did all that stuff. How has that changed your concept of fulfillment for yourself?

John Ratliff

Well, you know, one thing that I've really like, and again, the lesson just gets repeated over and over and over to the point where you have to, like, you can't not pay attention to it anymore. Some of the most successful people that I know, and I'm unfortunate or, or not, maybe to be surrounded by ultra ultra successful people all the time. And the vast majority of them are completely unhappy, they're completely out of alignment. And the more unhappier they are, the harder they work, the more success they find, and the more they chase it, the more unhappy they are. And it becomes this really like disempowering circle. And some of the happiest people I know, are they have, they have whatever level of success they have. But they're comfortable in their own skin.

They're excited about the future, they love to be around their friends and family. And they're grateful for the littlest things in the moment. And they're not chasing stuff that at the end of the day doesn't matter. And, yeah, I get it, it's easy to say that if you've had, you know, kind of the successful outcomes that I've had, but I can tell you that at my peak of success, I was the least happy. And now I would say where I don't chase success anymore. And it's not, you know, and I've have invested a lot in others. And I've done a lot of things. And my level of success today is probably less than it was but at its peak. But I find gratitude and things now that I used to not have time for because I was so busy chasing some ideal so and then again, money can buy you happiness to a point where you've got enough to be an independent thinker and do the things you want to do. And so I'm not saying this is like, don't worry about making money, don't worry about being successful. But if you can't find gratitude along the way, you're gonna chase happiness forever and be miserable. And that's that's probably the biggest lesson there. There's a guy named Dan Sullivan, he's got an organization called Strategic Coach. I don't know, do you know are familiar with Dan, coach?

Dan Dennett has this great metaphor. And if we have time, I'm happy to share because I think it's super powerful. Yeah, oh, yeah. Dan has this great metaphor, he talks about the gap. And we live in the gap. And the way he describes it is take your three year old self back to the first time you were ever on a beach. And that's about the time in our life that we have enough awareness to realize that we can see the horizon of the ocean. So when you stand on the beach, you look out in the ocean. And when you're six feet tall, it's about six miles. So I guess when you're three, and you're three feet tall, maybe three miles, but you can see that there's an edge to the ocean. And then he Fast Forwards and he says, Okay, we know that the rest of our lives that there's this horizon, on the ocean. And then he uses the metaphor when we when we start to try and achieve and set goals. We naturally set our goals out on the horizon.

And then we get the boat and we start to sail towards our goal. And so we've we've put it out on the horizon, we start to sails sail towards it. And what happens when we're a mile or two miles away from that goal? What's our what's the view out of the front of the boat? The next horizon in the next horizon in the next horizon, the horizon never comes. And what happens is we finally get to the goal. But we've lost interest in that because we're still looking at the horizon which is still six miles away, because it's always going to be six miles away till we get to Europe, I guess. But, and what we fail to do is when we pass that original Milestone that original horizon we forget Get to turn around, look and see how far we've come. So he's, again, his mind map thinking exercises. When you pass that first horizon, just drop a buoy in the water. And then when you get to the next horizon, drop another buoy in the water, and everyone's he calls it the gap, we're always in the gap between the horizon and where the boat is. And it never changes because the horizon moves as we move forward. And his mindset is drop a buoy in the water when you when you pass those horizons.

And everyone saw on the boat, just stand up and turn around, take a look at the string of buoys. And that will ground you and help you understand that you've achieved along the way that that the discontent that you're still six miles away, you're always six miles away from the next horizon. If you can see the student buoys, then, you know, you feel better about about what you've accomplished and what you've passed.

And that one really sticks with me all the time. Because I, I'm guilty of living in the gap all the time, I'm never sad, like, I'm always setting new goals, I'm always seeing new horizons, and I forget a lot to stand up and turn around and look at the buoys in the water. That's, that's what kids are great for, you can you know, your kids become your, you know, your expression of your success, and you get to see them all the time and get reminded that it's not just about chasing the goals, or as so

Nik Tarascio

That's beautiful. Yeah. And I think that kind of brings me up to my last question for you, which is, you know, as a creative, and as someone who can create beautiful visions of what's possible, what do you you know, what's your dream beyond? What do you wake up dreaming about?

John Ratliff

So, you know, I'm a huge believer in in purpose, core values, kind of, you know, I really struggled for an incredibly long time to finding my purpose. And I always kind of knew, like, all of us know, like, sort of intuitively, what gets us excited, and what we're about and what we stand for what we stand against, but not many of us, in our researcher and in our world have really been able to, like, articulate it to a point where it's compelling. And I'm embarrassed to say, with all the, all the work that I do in this space, and you know, in helping entrepreneurs, I finally was able to distill my purpose in the phrase, and I'm literally talking about in the last month, two months, how amazing.

Yeah, I know, it's crazy. I'm 52. But my purpose is really to make the complex simple for entrepreneurs. So I always knew, because what happened early on, in those dark, lonely days, there were some people that showed up in my life, with with no stake in my outcome and paid it forward. I actually don't believe in the term give back. Because give back means you took something from someone and I think entrepreneurs create, they don't take but so that's a semantics thing for me, but I believe you can give forward when when someone's done something for you, propels you, then it's your responsibility to give forward someone else. So I always knew I wanted to live in service of entrepreneurs, because so many people came and gave forward to me.

But I wasn't totally clear. But now, I've got an ability to look at complex situations and things and explain them in a way that makes them make sense. And that's really my purpose for the entrepreneur that's struggling, and trying to figure it all out. If I can, if I can make it a little bit easier for them or a little simpler, explain things in a way that make a little bit more sense and have them go, Oh, I get that now. And here's how I can apply that then that, then that's a success for me. So that's, that's kind of my purpose. But But yeah, I want to be in service to I want to do for other entrepreneurs, what was done for me early on, and I believe really deeply that the middle market, the companies like Jairus, and the companies like ours, are the ones that make all the things in the world happen. They make a create seven out of 10 jobs. They create all the innovative, all the innovative stuff was in the Fortune 500, the global 1000 They all play an important role.

And, you know, we're on technology created by by that group and but it's the middle market that really kind of brings texture and I think the best things to life and the middle market is a bunch of crazy entrepreneurs that see gaps in the market and see mismatches in the world and are discontent with the status quo and wake up every day to make change. And yeah, do they, some of them get to participate along the way and have massive success and build wealth and everything else. Yes. But the wealth is an outcome, that creation is what we all get to benefit from. And if I can, if I can help that group in any way, even if it's one to one, then you know, that's a successful day for me. So

Nik Tarascio

that's beautiful. Well, from from the perspective of your purpose, I'll say you spent the last hour distilling down so many concepts to make it really simple. And I really hear that I really hear that aspect of it. And I don't want to overlook the fact that you're an incredible storyteller. I think that in many ways, you know, this stuff can sound boring, it can sound like a textbook. And when you tell it through your story, I think people can't help but find themselves on the edge of the seat going, like, holy shit, I just learned something. And I was entertained. And I was feeling not alone. So I think in many ways, the one of my favorite authors, Jamie Weil talks a lot about the idea that your purpose lives at the intersection of your trauma and your talent. And here's all these entrepreneurs wandering the world feeling alone. And it sounds like that's where you came from. And it seems like your mission is a lot of touching on that is I don't want people to feel alone in that space. And acknowledging that, man, that is a being an entrepreneur is a spiritual path, whether or not you mean it to be right, I really, really get that.

John Ratliff

Yeah, and the more that you can kind of open your mind to that. And and I think the more opportunity there is to, and that's how you build gratitude, kind of right in front of you, you don't have to chase stuff around. So I know it's a little woowoo deck and I was not like that for a really long time. And but when I was when I finally started to connect those dots, it was it was way more fun and and it kind of way less lonely and way less frustrating, then, it had been prior. So sure.

Nik Tarascio

Yeah, it's I'm, I'm again inspired. Even though I've heard that story before I hear it again. I'm like, man, it's such a it's such a beautiful, relatable experience. And I think it gives a lot of hope, even to me in this moment of like, I've had many of those moments, but it does give a lot of hope that there's a lot of people that can receive that help. And there's a lot of work to be done still. And that's partly why do the podcast, it's just a chance to say how do we tell the stories that can move people? Right, and that's the hope so hopefully, someone will hear and someone will be moved. And at least one person sends me a message about how your share moved them. I would just be like, yeah, man, I'm part of it. I'm part of it. I went from being a listener to a participant in your story.

John Ratliff

You know, it's fascinating say that, to that I just, I was I was with a group last week on a really cool trip that we go on every year. And it's a group of Changemaker entrepreneurs. And and there's this mindset, like, oh, I want to impact a million people or billion people. And I want to change the world. And I want to do like, all these grandiose things. I remember I asked someone on the trip, like, you know, who said, I want to, I want to impact a million people. And I was like, What's the magic about a million people? And we have this amazing conversation that what if you impact one person, and the ripple effect of that impacts? A million people, they impact another person. And their ripple effect is a million in this, this mindset that yeah, if you could just get to, like, if you could just move the needle one degree for one person use, you've made a change in the world.

And I think sometimes, and I know entrepreneurs that are discontented by the idea that they feel like they've only affected 100,000 and not a million, and I'm more about the one like if I can connect to one person and you know, kind of change one person's path. And I have faith that that changes everything, and the ripple effect of those actions, change everything. And we had lots of great discussions about that last week. So I appreciate you say one person reaches out and says that it was a success, because I feel the same way. So thanks for that. See, right? We create all these ripples, but we don't get to see their impact, and then we're discontented. But all this good was created. And sometimes you just have to trust to put it out there. If it meets one person that the one right point in time that it was a win.

Nik Tarascio

Yeah. And that's that's very much how I've been operating. And so I'll sum up what I think I heard today because there was so much amazing stuff in such a short amount of time we talked about, you know, three, three really important traits of entrepreneurs, creativity, optimism, being a lifelong learner and your perspective. Really being able to vision for the future, check out the OODA loop. I love the OODA Loop obviously also, as a pilot, you know, I'm really into depression, suicidal ideation, mental health in general, in this space, something that is completely overlooked still. And there's a lot of you know, I come from an industry where if you, God forbid, say you've struggled with mental health, you'll lose your license, like they'll take your license away depending on what it is.

So it's a lot of shaming and causing people to live in a prison of their own experience. And again, I also I read the gap in the game and you're telling about the buoy concept I did not get from the book. So I appreciate you saying it that way. And really, that taking that moment to turn around and go, well look how far I've come. I do think we often forget that. So, man, I really hope we get to talk more about these kinds of things soon. And yeah, this was just really beautiful. And hopefully, you're also moved by what John shared. Again, if one of you was please send me a message. I'll also let John know that we're affecting one person at a time. And that's really what it's about. And in the meantime, John has just launched the full circle mastermind, which you could check out full circle, m m.com. I'd also have to say Untethered Soul, check it out. If you don't know it, gap in the game, check it out. If you don't know it. John, are there any other things you want to recommend based on what we talked about?

John Ratliff

Yeah, I mean, for sure, if you just Google Oda loop, I mean, that's from a from a mindset kind of thinking methodology standpoint. I love it. Certainly Michael singer, and I actually believe that the Untethered Soul, excellent, but also the other book that Michael wrote, which is surrender experiment, that kind of tells a story of how he got to write Untethered Soul. And he actually wrote them in reverse order, but I really liked that book as well. And it's, it's, you know, and you can go see Michael singer actually, he's in I have been to his place that he talks about and surrender experiment three or four times out, and it's like west of Gainesville, in the middle of the woods, but and he Mondays and Thursdays I used to be I assume it still is, but you can actually go out there. And, you know, and see him in person that it was cool. I had the opportunity to tell them, hey, I read the I told him the story. I read the Untethered Soul. Here's what happened. And it's always nice to go back and tell someone Hey, you could always work into this. And here's how it impacted me. So. Oh, yeah, that I think you've covered it in it.

Nik Tarascio

That's incredible. And well, thank you so much for the work on your heart into it to you, for sure. Yeah, man. My pleasure. Like I said, I appreciate you putting the heart into it. And maybe next time you get down to see Michael Allah, I'll meet you down there or something like that. That's really lovely.

John Ratliff

Yeah, it's right into Gainesville. And then you drive 20 minutes to the middle of nowhere, and you're there. So yeah.

Nik Tarascio

Incredible. Well, thanks. Thanks again. I hope everyone was was moved and I hope you all have a lovely day. Thanks, man. Thank you for listening to the dream beyond. I hope that you received whatever message or inspiration you were meant to get from today's episode. I had a great time recording it for you. If you love the show, please take 30 seconds to subscribe rate and review it. That really helps get the word out. And if you want to connect with me, you can find me at

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daydreamrry · 2 years

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i need ' 💣' anon to come back and give us their analysis for this album! //

Was I summoned 👸? Man I have all the thoughts. But Harry is still telling the same story! He’s been telling the same story this whole time. Sometimes it makes me wonder if I’m crazy because I’m like?? 10 years of the same story?? Am I the only one who hears it so blatantly? This album is dreamy and Harry’s best album, I hear his experimentation and growth. I love the freedom and fun. More interestingly he talks a lot about stream of consciousness and writing out of nowhere for this album which to me screams channeling spiritually. I know some of y’all know what I mean by that. Makes sense if he was still for the first time in awhile I also think he spent a lot of time imagining what he wants and reevaluating where he’s going.

Music for a sushi restaurant— A BOP

“I don’t want you get lost” — “you’ll say we’ll be together even when your lost” “If the stars were edible” — sky reference; we all know he’s a sky stan “And our hearts were never full, could we live with just a taste?” I really feel like this line is like how much of the cosmos can we stand, how much of the sky and freedom and flight could we stand, if we could would we try it all, he’s making music for every experience, But the sentiment of I’m making music for you to live your life to because I love you

Late night talking — yeah to me this still mirrors him having dreams of his person. I mean maybe some of the more specifics are based on his or other writers experiences, but the sentiment of id do anything for you, “I’d give up everything just ask me to” I can’t stop thinking of you is there “Now you’re in my life” is such a weird line to me, if this is a real person it’s a weird line and if it’s his dream partner/sm then it’s weird. But to me it’s like now that you’re here I’m obsessed, but here in what sense is the question

Grape juice is MY FAV on the album— to me he’s saying in the beginning I was excited about someone but I still miss you “something old and red” reliable; and so I ruined that relationship, “You're always there, so don't ovеrthink, I'm so over whites and pinks” Yeah to me very much goes with she vibes, he’s saying don’t overthink, you’re always with me, I’m over the lighter wines (casual relationships) he wants a deep dark red (intense real relationship)

As it was— that’s a whole thing I mean look at the music video

Daylight— there are definitely real scenarios in here, but also I think there’s still a lot of dreaminess here, “you’re in your airplane seat” “so you wait for me in the sky” “reading your horoscope” lol I know Harry’s an astrology bitch te he “if I were a bluebird, I’d fly to you” “if I could fly” maybe he’s cursing daylight because he wakes from his dreams, maybe he stops sleeping “tired eyes are the death of me” so he stops dreaming “ain’t gonna sleep til the daylight” “calling at all times”— “even my phone misses your call btw” so yeah I think the calling can be literal or can also represent like reaching out, seeking communication

Little freak—OMG wtf is this first chorus besties? “You bring blue lights to dreams” like wtf does that mean? Blue seems to be a color theme “bluebird” “door broken yellow blue” maybe you bring sadness to my dreams? Sadness to my success at my dream career? “starry haze, crystal ball” ummm? Yeah this feels cosmic and psychic. “Somehow, you've become some paranoia, A wet dream just dangling, But your gift is wasted on me” Umm? A paranoia— an obsession something he can’t stop thinking about, “a wet dream dangling” so like everything I want just dangling in front of me but I just need to grab it, “your gift is wasted on me” gift of love, psychic gift, wasted on him? He doesn’t feel good enough “I’m empty I know” “I’m hopeless, broken so you wait for me in the sky.” I’m not worried about where you are” “I don’t know why, I don’t know where she is” “tryna find you but I just don’t know” also thinking again “can’t get you off my mind” I think he’s saying he’s wondering what this dream partner will think watching his life play out in the media. Second verse is a real experience, third part I think is real but also could be saying to dream person that he’s sorry for being with all these other people because it was disrespectful and he got fucked for it ultimately, wasn’t worth it

Matilda— DEAD, this is for everyone! “You showed me a power that is strong еnough to bring sun to the darkest days” that’s a beautiful line, it feels spiritual to me but regardless sobs

Cinema— this seems like he’s basically getting off to a memory of thought of sex with someone lol. Cinema as like watching a movie, also there are climaxes in movies, “when you’re sleeping in this bed with me” “she sleeps in his bed while he plays pretend” “I guess we’re in time” to me means it’s not too late, he wants this person and that’s final, he’s not gonna change his mind, I think the chorus is him wondering if they like his music, like do you think I’m cool? It’s so innocent lol, “I want all of you” “come on bring everything” (something great) “You all the time in doses at night,” Ummm dreams? Doses of medicine? He can only take it in doses bc it’s so powerful, but all the time, “go to sleep” I mean… yeah to me this screams he is having literal wet dreams lol, this song to me mirrors medicine a lot

Keep driving— I think this is just like a bunch of things he’s seeing, the first is happy driving, not wanting the time to stop, the second verse is like a closure to an ex, then having to keep going, then the last is all the stuff going past him, hey you should we just keep driving, to me he’s saying to me here, like let’s skip all this shit, let’s escape it, let’s keep driving past it but also “choke her with a sea view” SCANDALOUS. But not dark Harry writers being… right? Lol.

Satellite— did the engine stalling lead him to spin out? Te he. But also come on? “Do you wanna talk?” “I always think about you and how we don’t speak enough” he had to get drunk and high to talk to them? Why? Does this tie back to little freak? They can’t connect unless he’s not in his right mind, well she was written on mushrooms sooooo, theme of Harry needing to not be sober in this album lol, I mean the chorus feels self explanatory, “I don’t want to talk to you” “I’ve been trying hard not to talk to you” “Mind is running in circles of you and me” “spinning out” basically where are you, im waiting, “I can see you’re lonely down there” “you look pretty good down there”

Boyfriends — I cried my eyes out, this is for the ones that survived toxic romantic experiences; “you, you’re back at it again” “you lay with him as you stay in a daydream” “she sleeps in his bed while he plays pretend” so is he writing from she’s perspective? Both characters are with other people but not living in reality, is he imagining the woman in his daydreams and what her relationships may have been like while also owning up to his own shit? Weird but okay.

Love of my life— about England… oh another song about something being lost, sigh, okay, “don’t know where you’ll land when you fly” “where do broken hearts go”

I tried to keep it short for y’all but it could be more in depth and please don’t come at anyone, it’s just fun making theories, I’m not saying this is fact so chill 💣 💣

you deserve your own article for these reviews.

#💣 anon

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veilchenjaeger · 2 years

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@veliseraptor I've been enabled to talk about comphet narratives for my girl Sha Hualing

Under a cut bc. Uh. This got LONG. I'm writing a thesis on Ling-er.

I'm actually not thinking about a literal comphet narrative for her (though this can sure be combined with one! Works for Bing-ge!), but about a metaphorical one. Mostly because I don't think there's any indication of there being actual homophobia in the PIDW universe? The issues people have with Bingqiu are that they're a master/disciple and a human/demon couple, and also [gestures at the entirety of Bingqiu's deal]. Other than Shen Qingqiu, I don't think that anyone is all that bothered by them being gay, and neither Luo Binghe nor Mobei-jun seem to be upset when they fall in love with a man. There does appear to be some kind of heteronormativity (see: Bing-ge's harem; the way everyone's pressuring Shen Qingqiu to get married in the Return to Childhood extra), but I do prefer to read this as a place without straight-up homophobia. Thank you, Airplane. So. Sha Hualing. Metaphorical comphet narrative. I'm gonna start with the basics before I get to any Takes Of Dubious Temperature, so bear with me. What we know: Sha Hualing has a crush on Luo Binghe. This starts when they're both teenagers, after Luo Binghe stands his ground fighting against Elder Tianchui (notably when Luo Binghe's demon blood is still undiscovered), but I do think there's evidence that the crush is still alive and well when they're adults.

MXTX writes from Sha Hualing's POV a few times during Shen Qingqiu's encounter with her while he's in the plant body. It's a bit hard to tell, but I think the statement that she wants to ruin Liu Mingyan's face because she can't let Luo Binghe see anyone more beautiful than herself is from her POV rather than Shen Qingqiu's, so it's her own assessment of her motivations. (Not that she can't also be an unreliable narrator.)

Also, there are these lines from the Airplane extras, set during the "house arrest" arc when Luo Binghe asks his subordinates for romantic advice (BC Novels translation):

In the business hall of the underground palace, each hurried about their own business. Sha Hualing, while sewing up that giant net of Immortal-Binding Cables blown apart by Shen Qingqiu, stole looks at Luo Binghe, occasionally biting her lip in dissatisfaction.

[...]

Of everyone on the scene, the only one with an advantage in sexual relations, the only one who could be an expert in this sort of question was Sha Hualing. So, the others all swept their gazes towards her. The Sha-meimei who was extremely popular in the original work, face full of “WTF why should this old lady provide this sort of advice to the man she wants to get for herself”, twitched her finely-shaped brows and lips, then finally drew out a dry “Why doesn’t my lord ask the Elder Dream Demon?”

So, it's fair to say that Sha Hualing is not over Luo Binghe. Which concerns me a little, because Luo Binghe does not treat Sha Hualing well. That might be par for the course in a work relationship between demons, but he makes her do a lot of dirty work and comes close to killing her on screen at one point. She is part of his inner circle - she knows about his Thing with Shen Qingqiu and his plans regarding the Holy Mausoleum, she is one of the leaders of his army against Tianlang-jun, she is responsible for getting Luo Binghe cultivators to fuck up with his unstable powers and thus knows about this instability. But she is also fully aware that Luo Binghe does not care about her.

Here's what she says to stop Luo Binghe from killing her and Shen Qingqiu when he has a breakdown over the plant body looking like Shizun (Faelicy/Lily translation):

She wasn’t genuinely concerned whether Shen Qingqiu lived or died. It was just that if she let Luo Binghe kill this weirdo in his rage, even if his body’s demonic qi didn’t violently surge and cause him to go berserk, his next step wouldn’t have anything good in store for her either. Having thought of this, Sha Hualing felt that her life was full of misfortune, and became even more earnest, shouting herself hoarse, “Even if you don’t care about him, don’t care about me, think about… think about that your… that person…” She threw it all out, suddenly raising her voice. “Think about the Holy Mausoleum!”

Like. She knows it's unrequited. She isn't oblivious.

And yet, she continues not only to be loyal to Luo Binghe but to hope for some kind of recognition from him. She tries really damn hard to be a good, hardworking subordinate, and on top of that, she tries to do especially useful things for Luo Binghe (like getting him a stupidly OP cultivator to fuck up or, uh, making him a Shen Qingqiu replica), presumably because she hopes it will endear her to him. This might be a personal interpretation, but to me, she comes across as pretty fucking desperate, like she's clinging to the impossible image of Luo Binghe one day liking her although she pretty much knows it's never going to happen. It's really sad!

The point is tho - she also has no reason to actually like this man. Be loyal to, yes, for the same reasons Mobei-jun is loyal to him, but she knows him well enough not to be fooled by his charisma (if he ever does employ it with her), and even by demon standards, Luo Binghe treats her like shit and likely has for some time.

Bottom line is: I think Sha Hualing is clinging hard to her crush on a guy she neither actually likes nor receives any positive attention from. So why is she doing this? Why does she care about Luo Binghe?

The easy answer is, of course, that she wants power and being Luo Binghe's partner would give her that power. And I think that does play into it! But I also don't read Sha Hualing as that calculating when it comes to this, because, again, she's doing a lot of hard work that is very likely in vain, and isn't trying to get power in any other way. So I think she does want, or thinks she wants, Luo Binghe specifically, not just the power that he'd give her. Subtle differences.

Here's the one line we get about Sha Hualing's view on romance (Faelicy/Lily translation):

For demon women, they must viciously bully the person they like. Only if he didn’t die would she accept them, if he died that meant he was too useless, and not worth having lingering affections for.

We also remember that Sha Hualing's interest in Luo Binghe is sparked because he refuses to give up in his fight against Elder Tianchui and ends up beating an opponent much stronger than himself.

I propose the following conclusion: Sha Hualing was raised to think that the most important traits a potential partner must have are strength and success in battle. And who could be stronger or more powerful than Luo Binghe? No one. He's the goddamn Demon Emperor. Sha Hualing is ambitious to a fault, too, so why would she settle for less than the best possible partner she could have?

So she cultivates this crush on Luo Binghe, which isn't based on who he is as a person or her actual attraction to him but on the fact that according to her rational understanding of romance, he is the ideal partner. Sha Hualing made a list of all the boys in her class and meticulously calculated who she should have a crush on based on the traits her teen magazine told her dreamy hot boys have. (Only that those traits are "resilient", "ruthless" and "can kill you really hard".)

To give her a full metaphorical comphet narrative, she should now discover that usually, a crush involves having actual feelings, and being in love is something else altogether, and neither of these things are what she feels towards Luo Binghe.

Now to make this about Mingling because my brain rot commands me to: I'm slightly obsessed with the fact that if you employ this particular method of finding a good partner for Sha Hualing, Liu Mingyan ain't shit.

Sure, she's a powerful and promising cultivator. (Sha Hualing herself acknowledges that people from Cang Qiong Mountain usually are more powerful than others.) But she also loses to Sha Hualing specifically, twice. Unlike Luo Binghe, Liu Mingyan is defeated during Sha Hualing's Cang Qiong Mountain expedition and gracefully accepts her defeat. And once they're adults, Sha Hualing can still capture her and lock her up in a cave. Liu Mingyan isn't even particularly powerful in any other sense - she might become a Peak Lord one day, but currently, she's very much just a Xian Shu disciple.

Sha Hualing does see Liu Mingyan as a threat, but because of her beauty, and she's unnerved that she can't manage to make Liu Mingyan flinch. That's it. (And if "thinking someone is really fucking gorgeous" and "being irritated by someone because of how cool they are" do sound like crush feelings, I'm not sure Sha Hualing realises that.)

I don't think that she'd see Liu Mingyan as a good potential partner; she's done nothing to indicate that she is. If Sha Hualing were to develop a crush on Liu Mingyan, I think she'd be pretty upset about that, and she'd have to get Liu Mingyan into a bunch of potentially lethal situations and watch her fight her way out before they can date.

In my humble opinion, this of course means that Sha Hualing should reconsider her priorities when it comes to relationships and date Liu Mingyan ASAP. Particularly because Liu Mingyan is, in the end, way more her type than Luo Binghe.

Let's look at what Sha Hualing says to Qin Wanyue, after Qin Wanyue pretends to be too weak to keep the Little Palace Mistress from bothering Luo Binghe (Faelicy/Lily translation):

“It was always your fault! I’ve heard that saving face is especially important to Human Realm women, but you’ve failed to seduce the Lord many times yet still shamelessly refuse to leave, so that’s all it amounts to. And not leaving is one thing, but you can’t even properly keep an eye on others; her cultivation isn’t as good as yours, her Shijie’s, yet you never stopped her, and let her throw a tantrum before the Lord; who are you humiliating yourself and acting pitiful for?”

Remember how Luo Binghe enjoys acting like a massive crybaby to get Shizun love, and how Liu Mingyan doesn't even flinch when Sha Hualing rips her veil off? Q.E.D.

#svsss #sha hualing #mingling #/i LOVE sha hualing's scene with qin wanyue and the little palace mistress. she's so savage #/liu mingyan @ sha hualing: 'demon bad but also. TOP ME TOP ME TOP ME'#/sha hualing @ liu mingyan: 'you're a fucking loser but i also dream of your ethereally beautiful face every night and i HATE IT'#[talk less smile more]#/do i technically have the time to write sha hualing meta? no. but i make bad decisions.

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thevindicativevordan · 3 years

Text

On Kong Kenan/Super-Man

It should've been him. He should've been the Superman of 5G/Future State/right now not Jon, and he should be the one getting an HBO Max series not Val. Hell he should be getting a movie!

God this dude is literally the best legacy character Superman has ever gotten, wholly his own person with his own lore and status quo while still building on the idea of "Superman". I am so pissed at DC for essentially just dropping him after his ongoing ended, what the hell Lee? You keep trying to make the Wildstorm characters happen, I need you to get my man Yang another Kenan book.

Have to admit I was a bit nervous at first about whether or not Kenan would be a worthwhile character. Yang's New 52 Superman run had been a disappointment to me overall, with only the the arc where Superman has underground wrestling matches against forgotten gods really sticking with me. Now he was introducing a brand new Superman? Didn't feel like he had "earned" that yet. But from the first issue I was hooked on this new character.

Kenan was unlike any other member of the Superfamily. He wasn't kind or sweet, he was an asshole! He was a bully! He was fantastic! Right from the start Kenan was set up to undergo a very different kind of character journey than the other members of the Superfamily. Empathy, humility, respect for people weaker than himself, these are all traits most heroes wearing the S-shield already posses by the time they first don the crest, but not Kenan.

Like all bullies he was even a bit of a coward himself at first, trying to bail on the experiment meant to give him Superman's powers right as it begins. After "saving" Lixin (the kid he bullies and steals lunch from every day) from Blue Condor he demands all the money Lixin has on him as payment. He's not courageous or selfless either at the start, Kenan is as much of an opposite of Superman as you can get short of being Bizarro. Learning the appeal of these traits formed the basis for his growth over the course of his series.

Seeing Yang bring in a lot of recognizable "Superman" elements in the series, but with a twist, was also great. Kenan is the one who bullies "Luo Lixin" rather than the traditional Clark/Lex friendship of Pre-Crisis and Birthright. Initially Kenan develops a crush on intrepid reporter for Primetime Shanghai, Laney Lan, but she dismisses him as too young and Kenan eventually ends up pursuing Avery Ho (Flash) instead. Baxi the Bat-Man of China has a similar relationship with Kenan as the traditional Superman/Batman in terms of being vitriolic best buds, however Baxi is the one who has the most respect for authority while Kenan is the rebel. Kenan is a part of the "Justice League of China" which does not meet with the approval of the already established Chinese superheroes, the Great Ten. That contrasts nicely with the good relationship the Justice Society and Justice League have, as well as seeing Yang lampshade the "Chinese copy" trope and incorporate that into his storytelling.

One of the funniest differences is how Kenan chooses to immediately reveal his identity as Super-Man to the world by taking off the compliance visor he was forced to wear, contrasting with Clark's choice to hide his identity. He was so eager to impress people that he never gave any thought to the danger he could put himself or his family in by revealing his identity until it was too late, something Clark is well aware of and has taken great pains to keep his identity secret. Was a missed opportunity for DC to have Kenan comment on Clark copying him for once when he outed himself under Bendis.

But one of the most poignant differences between Clark and Kenan is the gulf in separation between their relationship with their parents. Clark has a loving relationship with Ma and Pa Kent, trying to live up to their lessons as best he can. In contrast Kenan's mom was believed to have died in an airplane crash when he was just a child, and he never really knew her. His father was distant from him after that and the two weren't really close despite Kenan's attempts to impress him. So Kenan lacks that strong connection while still clearly loving both of them.

Pa Kent's death is one of the most tragic examples of Clark's love for his parents, and I've always been a fan of takes where Clark promises his father to fight for the powerless on Pa's deathbed. Kenan gets a similar scene at the start of his career, his dad "dies" (after being exposed as Flying General Dragon, a pro-democracy "supervillain" from the Chinese authorities perspective) and wants Kenan to promise he'll fight for Truth, Justice, and Democracy. But because Kenan's dad never really bonded with him, Kenan doesn't know what those mean, and can only promise that he never wants to see people die, something his father takes comfort in at least. In classic comic book fashion it's revealed that Dr. Omen, Kenan's "boss" and the one who gave him his powers, saved Kenan's father, because she is Kenan's mother! Kenan's relationship with his parents forms a lot of the crux of his character arc, and seeing how Yang utilizes the classic Superman concept of family kept the storytelling exciting.

Yang's brilliant exploration of the concept of "Superman" through the prism of Chinese culture was a great way to differentiate Kenan as well.

I absolutely freaking love how he tied to the concept of Qi to the S-shield in particular. Connecting the shape of the shield with the way Kenan has acquired his powers along the path of the Bagua (eight trigrams used in Taoism that represent the fundamental principles of reality), with his octagon S-shield outline representing all eight principles together, was mindblowing! So was the idea of restricting Kenan's access to his powers unless he was actually acting in a Superman manner, that tied his character growth to his power growth in an entertaining manner. There were so many characters and concepts that meshed Chinese and DC lore together, like how Emperor Super-Man was Kenan's "Doomsday", they even recreated that iconic dual kill shot! The Chinese Wonder Woman Peng Deilan, being based on the Chinese Legend of the White Snake! There was even some Korean mythology referenced with the Aqua-Man member of the JLC "Dragonson".

Yang also managed to do a Superman Blue/Superman Red story with Super-Man Yin/Super-Man Yang!

Shameful that it took me a while to realize what Gene Yang was doing but once I caught on I was touched. You can tell how much Yang loved Superman and his mythology, and how he was excited to incorporate as much from Clark as he could, while still using it in a way that was solidly Kenan's. And not just Superman's mythology, but the history and lore of the entire DC Universe. I-Ching got to be brought in, fleshed out, and used as Kenan's mentor! The "Yellow Peril" villain from Detective Comics #1, the comic DC gets its name from was brought in and revamped as I-Ching's twin brother All-Yang! Hats off to Yang for taking a racist caricature and attempting to make him into something more.

This series was a beautiful attempt by Gene Yang to build a space for Asian heroes and villains where they could be more than stereotypes, Kenan himself being a defiant mold-breaker in every regard as the complete opposite of most Asian characters in Western media (a jock, a bully, loves his dad but not on great terms with him, a powerhouse as a hero, etc). So much thought and hard work was poured into this by Yang and his team of artist collaborators.

Especially the costumes, man Kenan had so many great looks. From his starting outfit (which is my favorite Superman variant not worn by Clark himself), to the one with the Yin/Yang shield he acquired later on, to his Super-Man Yin & Super-Man Yang outfits, Kenan looked damn cool. Part of me is bummed they didn't go with the Chinese character shield they toyed around with, but I loved how Yang used the "s-shield" as a plot point, so I'm not too broken up over it.

All that great work Yang did to build that space up has been more or less forgotten sadly. It was nice to see Kenan in the DC Asian Month Celebration issue. Avery is going to be in Justice Incarnate at least (unsurprising considering she was created by Williamson). So fucking bummed that Superman Family Adventures cartoon didn't happen, they were going to have Kenan and John Henry Irons in it! Would've been a dream come true for me to see Irons in animation again, and Kenan making the jump to outside media! Maybe that would've encouraged DC to let Yang keep writing New Super-Man, or at least encouraged them to use him elsewhere instead of allowing him fall into Limbo.

Unfortunately I'm not sure what the future holds for Kenan. Jon is being pushed as Clark's replacement in the comics, with DC keeping all the other contenders such as Kon benched. Calvin is leading the Justice Incarnate team likely due to the upcoming Coates reboot that will make Clark black. Val will probably get something once Taylor leaves Jon's book or once they officially announce the HBO Max show is happening. So where does that leave Kenan, my new favorite PoC legacy hero? Currently my only hope is that Yang is working on something for DC involving him. Yang left Batman/Superman, where I was hoping to see a Baxi/Kenan team up, to go work on "exciting other opportunities" per his Twitter. So fingers crossed that there's something in the works for Kenan!

One day I hope he gets his day in the sun again.

#kenan kong #new super man #gene yang #justice league of china #superman #dc comics

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tossawary · 3 years

Note

I need to know more about “SVSSS - Baby Brother Liu Qingge” bc I love tiny and very deadly baby LQG

I have a 3k-ish Shang Qinghua POV that was supposed to be the introduction to this fic concept! So... ah... baby Liu Qingge does not appear in this, but you can see the setup for how an 8yo-ish Liu Qingge was supposed to be introduced. My hope is that this will someday become a "Shang Qinghua and Shen Jiu go on a mission with Baby Brother Liu Qingge" one shot.

-cut-

Shang Qinghua didn't really have the words to describe what it was like having Proud Immortal Demon Way's characters finally come into his second life.

He didn't have the words to describe a lot of his transmigration experience, honestly! His words had described a lot of this world already, haha, hadn't they? Sometimes a person just had to put up with it and keep going.

And then excuse himself later to go scream into a pillow! Many times!

At first, life was just him in a body that didn't fit and strange memories that slipped between his fingers like sand. His memories of a past life had settled eventually, the System finally came fully online, and his relationship with his second family was fully fucked forever. That was fine, though! That was fine! With some unsolicited prodding from his System, he left to go seek his fortune soon enough and he never had to talk to his character's birth parents or siblings again.

But Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky had never said much of anything about Shang Qinghua’s family or home village, besides saying that the man had dreamed of more than his mediocre origins, so everything had been unfamiliar and original and real. Getting to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, which he had described in great detail, was a real headfuck. There were no words for the experience of recognizing things that he’d written in another life.

He saw the glistening rainbow bridge and the intimidating sect entrance and the majestic meeting hall on Qiong Ding, and he nearly screamed. He definitely squawked. His vision got really fuzzy for a minute there and he had to sit down on the ground before he fell over. What the fuck?! What the fuck?! He’d made a world! The System had really made a world out of his web-novel! He was really stuck in Proud Immortal Demon Way!

There were upsides and downsides to joining Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. Downsides included: the hard training, the harder workload, the dangerous missions, the disrespect towards An Ding Peak, and being surrounded by arrogant and foolish teenagers looking to look down on someone. It was really something else to look some of them in the eye and think, "Bro, I don’t know your name, but you kind of owe your existence to me. Could you stop being such a fucking asshole about leaving your chores for me to do?! Respect your father!"

Upsides included: actually becoming a cultivator (pretty cool, even though the work of cultivation sucked more often than not), better living accommodations and food, and actually getting to see some of the cooler places, plants, monsters, and magic that were a part of his world. Sure, carting a monster corpse brought in by Bai Zhan Peak to Xi Jiao Peak for butchering was smelly and heavy and altogether miserable, but seeing an impossible animal was still kind of incredible. If this unwilling Shang Qinghua could stop being pushed around and stepped on long enough to appreciate the upsides, he’d really appreciate it!

It was interesting and infuriating to log the differences between what he’d imagined, what he’d written, and what the System had created. What sort of author described every single object in every single room? Who had time for that? Who wanted to read that? The System had filled in all the living details of An Ding Peak - the Leisure Houses, the training grounds, the storehouses, the warehouses, the kitchens, the lesson halls, the leisure gardens, the farming fields, the livestock fields, the stables, the cart lot, the water supply, the sewage systems, and so on - so that people could actually live here. Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky as an author had done many things worthy of complaint and criticism, but wasting his readers’ time with sewage systems was not one of them!

The System had also filled in all the little details and decorations - the paintings on the walls of sect history, the detailing on the rooftops supposedly offering protections from dream demons, the chipped and faded paint of old storehouses that disciples would be tasked with replacing, the statues in the fields to scare off scavengers, the carvings on the doors meant to reduce resentful energy, the childish etchings of bored students the surface of the lesson hall desks, the old bench where the An Ding Peak Lord liked to sit and eat flatcakes - so that it really seemed like people had built this place and maintained it and added to it for generations.

Shang Qinghua had his quibbles here and there. Sometimes the System had made choices that he objected to! He would have done it differently if it had asked him, the author, to contribute. He really felt as though the System should have asked him to clarify the plot holes and the gaps in detail, instead of choosing precedence randomly or building off random implications taken way too literally.

Sometimes he found out that the System had built things out of throwaway lines that Shang Qinghua himself had completely forgotten about. It turned out that Ku Xing Peak made a lot of purification tools and containment vessels because Airplane had offhandedly mentioned that this was their specialty, and now Shang Qinghua had to cart around delicate ceramics to be sold to city merchants or other cultivation sects. He never would have dared to write that if he’d known that it would one day in another life be his job to do things like take inventory and chase down signatures for successful deliveries.

Places, items, and creatures were one thing, but logging the differences between the people he met and the characters he’d created was something else. At first it was okay, because he was surrounded by nameless An Ding Peak nobodies - his fellow disciples, their teachers, the hardworking managers and merchants, even the peak lord - none of them had ever mattered in Proud Immortal Demon Way. If Airplane had been the one to name any of them, he didn’t recognize the names or remember them.

Then he met Yue Qingyuan.

Wow, it was a worse headfuck than first arriving at Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, when Shang Qinghua finally realized that this was the young version of one of his actual characters. It took him a minute. As a lowly outer disciple, Shang Qinghua hadn’t received “Qinghua” as a name yet (his name was Houhua, not that anyone ever used it) and the future Yue Qingyuan was still called Yue Qi.

Shang Qinghua was fourteen at the time. Yue Qingyuan must have been around the same age, so he didn’t strike the tall and handsome figure of the sect leader Airplane had described. The boy was broad, but actually a little short. He had freckles. He had acne.

But he also had a warm smile that seemed to go all the way to his eyes when he offered to give Shang Qinghua directions to the right office on Qiong Ding. He had a steady hand when he helped Shang Qinghua up, after the An Ding disciple had suddenly tripped over nothing upon being introduced. Yue Qingyuan - Yue Qi - walked him to the right office and did his best to make small talk, friendly and kind even though Shang Qinghua was having difficulty stringing more than a few words together in his shock.

Even then, it was obvious that the boy was developing the calm surety and the social charm that would make him a greatly admired sect leader someday! It was all Shang Qinghua could do not to blurt out: “Holy shit, you’re REAL?!” Which would be closely followed by: “Hey, is Shen Qingqiu really real too?!” And then maybe closely followed by: “FUCK!!!”

As the years went by, Shang Qinghua met more of Proud Immortal Demon Way’s characters, and it was weird every time. None of them were exactly like he was expecting. He kept expecting… well… he kept expecting them to look like the fanart, like flawless character models, more or less. Instead, he kept getting… people.

Wei Qingwei, head disciple of the sword-focused Wan Jian Peak, was also shorter than he was expecting, kind of stout, with a wide face and a wider smile. Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky had apparently had the man crack a few jokes upon his rare appearances in the web-novel, usually during tense situations, as he was reminded by the System upon thinking to himself: “Why is this guy LIKE THIS?!” So, because of just a few lines, the real Wei Qingwei had a relentless sense of humor and loved telling jokes.

Upon their first meeting, when Shang Qinghua was fifteen and had been sent over to help renovate some Wan Jian dormitories, fifteen-year-old Wei Qingwei had pretended to fumble a sword and, using a packet of dye and a sleight of hand, made it look like he’d accidentally cut off his own hand at the wrist. Of course Shang Qinghua had screamed and panicked! Anyone would panic! But Wei Qingwei had laughed at him and said, “Got you! Shang-Shidi, the sword wasn’t even unsheathed!” Asshole!

Qi Qingqi, the head disciple of Xian Shu Peak, was much taller than he was expecting. Apparently Airplane had once described a group of some of the peak lords by saying something like: “Each one of them was like a giant to young Luo Binghe.” That group had included Qi Qingqi. The System apparently had taken that to mean that Qi Qingqi was of a height with the likes of Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu. Shang Qinghua discovered this adaptational choice when he was almost sixteen, when this giraffe-like girl came to An Ding Peak to complain about an order someone along the pipeline had dropped completely, and he accidentally found himself (still waiting on a really good growth spurt) eye-level with Qi Qingqi’s chest.

Airplane had apparently once said in Proud Immortal Demon Way that Qian Cao Peak Lord Mu Qingfang appeared a little older than his colleagues, by which he’d probably meant that the man was just tired or something, but this head disciple Mu Qingfang appeared to have ten years on all the other head disciples. Which was good! Shang Qinghua approved of their future head healer not being a teenager and having more training!

On the bad side of things, Airplane had also once said in Proud Immortal Demon Way that the Zui Xian Peak Lord Zhang Qingyan liked his drink too much. This was the peak specializing in alcohol, so it had seemed to make sense! It was supposed to be funny, if anything! Well, at sixteen, Shang Qinghua found out that the System had focused too much on the “too much” part of that statement and now the head disciple of Zui Xian Peak was pretty clearly a budding alcoholic. (Sometimes a cultivator’s constitution and ability to “cure” themselves just… made a person drink more. A lot more.) Which was… not good.

At seventeen, Shang Qinghua met Mobei-Jun.

He didn’t know where to get started with Mobei-Jun.

Somehow he’d… forgotten that Mobei-Jun had been originally based on Airplane’s idea of “the perfect man” and not the super pretty, muscular but slim-waisted protagonist type? The real Mobei-Jun was… tall… and big… and thick. Mobei-Jun’s intimidating features were… more striking than pretty. The first time Shang Qinghua had come back to his Leisure House and found this spoiled brat of an ice demon napping shirtless on his bed, and gotten an eyeful of all that heavy muscle and chest hair, he’d nearly knocked himself out on the doorframe trying to turn away before he had a heart attack.

Mobei-Jun really was going to be the death of him, holy shit.

Especially because this ice demon really was a spoiled brat! Airplane had described this character as being arrogant and apathetic, so now Shang Qinghua had to deal with a Mobei-Jun who took long baths and then carelessly dripped water all over the floor and all over fresh sheets! Who ate all of Shang Qinghua’s cooking and ungratefully only demanded more food, sprawled over furniture not really fit for someone of his size, and then watched Shang Qinghua like a fat tiger! Ahhh, this demon really was lucky he was handsome!

Mobei-Jun was also kind of violent, and mean, which was… well, it sucked.

Back to the sect that Shang Qinghua was now actively betraying, however, as far as he could see, there was still one future peak lord missing.

It wasn’t Shen Qingqiu, who Shang Qinghua had thought would be the last one to show up. Shen Qingqiu had shown up and had been advancing through the ranks of Qing Jing Peak before Shang Qinghua had even met Mobei-Jun, which meant that Yue Qingyuan had finally stopped looking like someone had torn out his soul. (Shang Qinghua had been forced to grit his teeth every time that someone mentioned how privileged that Yue Qingyuan was to have been granted that year of secluded cultivation in the Lingxi Caves at such a young age.)

No, of all the peak lords, it was Liu Qingge who Shang Qinghua had yet to meet.

After meeting Mobei-Jun and becoming an inner disciple, the System had given Shang Qinghua three years to make it to head disciple, probably because the deadline for a new generation of peak lords to ascend was fast approaching. He was working hard to achieve that! Not only did he have to sabotage the current favorite, but he had to make sure all his own training, missions, work, and research were as close to flawless as he could get it! All while keeping an intruding ice demon happy! He wasn’t totally sure that he was going to make it at this rate, even though he’d been here for years.

So it was a little concerning that Liu Qingge hadn't shown up yet. There was so much left to do. A world-state that had yet to be established. Liu Qingge had work to do here!

Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu still had to develop a hatred for each other as disciples that would extend to everyone believing that Shen Qingqiu had murdered Liu Qingge as peak lords, after all. Granted, all Liu Qingge really had to do was beat everyone else on Bai Zhan Peak up to obtain the position, and it wasn’t exactly hard to get Shen Qingqiu to develop a lifelong grudge, but the guy was still cutting it pretty close.

It was possible that Liu Qingge was already on Bai Zhan Peak and making good progress, but that he was just so solitary and focused on searching out the next big battle that Shang Qinghua had just never had the opportunity to meet him. Shang Qinghua did his best to avoid Bai Zhan Peak most of the time, honestly! He was curious about where Liu Qingge was, about what the man looked like, but he didn’t let himself sweat at not seeing the future war god, when he already had so many things to sweat about. The System had taken care of bringing in everyone else, so Shang Qinghua was sure that Liu Qingge would follow sooner or later.

Shang Qinghua’s first sign that something was wrong was that, on the day that Liu Qingge finally announced his existence by beating up everyone on Bai Zhan Peak, everyone was saying things like, “I can’t believe some kid managed to topple all of Bai Zhan like that!”

He… may or may not have ignored this sign.

To be fair to this poor writer-turned-disciple, though, he’d been up all night finishing some paperwork catastrophe the An Ding Peak Lord had thrown at him to fix, as some kind of “test” of his logistics skills. Upon hearing the latest gossip, Shang Qinghua thought, “Oh, finally?” And then his overtired brain collapsed from the effort of thinking two words together in a sentence, and all he could manage from there was to feel the intense need to go to bed at a maximum, static-y volume. No words. No more thinky thoughts. Just the need for speedy sleep.

He stumbled through the rest of his day and then passed out for 18 hours straight. In hindsight, this would have been the time when the gossip was at its hottest. He missed all of it.

When he woke up, everyone was still dealing with the aftermath of what had happened on Bai Zhan Peak, but the conversation had shifted more towards replacing Qian Cao Peak’s depleted supplies and the repairs to Bai Zhan’s training grounds. Liu Qingge was the name on everyone’s lips, still, but everyone knew the basic information now. Now, everyone was just exclaiming over and over again how unbelievably young (and pretty) he was to have bested every other disciple on the sect battle-focused peak. This didn't seem too strange.

The System probably would have based the War God's appearance on his sister, Liu Mingyan, a strong contender for the most beautiful woman in all of Proud Immortal Demon Way. Liu Qingge apparently being a very pretty boy fell neatly into line with all the other character design surprises that Shang Qinghua had gotten smacked with so far.

If Airplane had known that he'd be transmigrating into his novel, maybe there would have been even more handsome men! And everyone would have lived happily ever after and nothing bad would have happened ever, probably, but also there might be more sexy guys too.

TBC

#timetomakeanewwish #tossawary updates #tossawary svsss #shang qinghua #unrealistically young prodigy liu qingge au #ask tossawary

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kissinginkitchens · 3 years

Text

You Bring Me Home — Chapter One: Flightless Bird, American Mouth

a/n: I've been working on this story for mooonths now and I'm so excited to finally share it with the world! It's heavily inspired by Harry's Behind the Album mini doc, except I changed the setting to Hawai'i because I've personally spent some time there and as they say, write what you know! YBMH takes place in the period between One Direction's hiatus and Harry's first album/tour, but with that being said, this is entirely a work of fiction and some events don't follow the true timeline. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my little story, I hope you love it as much as I do! It will be updated every Friday at 5 PM PST. My inbox is open, so feel free to talk to me once you've finished reading! I'd love to hear from you :) Much love, Mel <3

Pairing: Hawai'i!Harry x Original Character

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 5.5k

May, 2016

Harry watches LAX get smaller through the airplane window and visualizes all of his worries stuck at the terminal gate, their magnitude also diminishing as he takes flight. He sinks lower in his seat and skims through playlists on his phone when a nagging feeling at the back of his mind pulls his attention away from the screen. Looking up from the song choices, he spots a cell phone quickly lowered from his line of vision and a girl with flushed cheeks who quickly averts her gaze. Harry shoots a tight-lipped smile in her direction and goes back to his phone with a sigh. The days when he could roam the streets freely without fear of recognition—or worse, harassment—feel like an entirely different lifetime. He sometimes imagines that he’ll wake up back in his childhood bed as if the past five years had all been a dream, but he never does. In fact, his privacy and anonymity seem to dwindle with each minute of radio play that One Direction receives. It’s a bittersweet pill to swallow, but one he hopes will go down easier with some time in the Hawaiian sun.

His close friend and new manager, Jeff Azoff, had suggested the vacation as soon as the band privately agreed to take a hiatus.

“You’ll go home for a few weeks,” his voice had crackled through the speakers of Harry’s phone. “Visit your mom and Gem, lay low for a while until the smoke blows over,”

Harry mulled it over in his mind, eyes flickering over the rolling landscape outside of the tour bus window.

“Then what?”

“Then you go for a little vacation. The label offered to cover a house in Hawaii so you can start working on the album,”

“Alone?”

Jeff chuckled lightly on the other end before responding. “I mean, if that’s what you want,”

“No,” Harry corrected. “You and Tom should come. Mitch and Bhasker, too,”

“The dream team,”

“And there’ll be a studio there?”

“Yes,” Jeff started, almost hesitant. “But I don’t want you to think about that too much,”

“But you said the label—"

“I also said vacation. Look, Rob said ‘it will all happen in due time,' did he not?”

Harry twisted the rose ring around his finger, tracing over the silver petals and thinking back to his conversation with the CEO of Sony Music, Rob Stringer. Upon the proposal of his debut solo album, Rob had told him that the most important ingredient for a successful debut would be patience. The singer had agreed in the moment, but every day not spent in the studio felt like a test he hadn’t studied hard enough for.

“Yeah.”

“So you take the free vacation,” Jeff suggested. “You go out, live, get some writing material. Maybe mess around with some tunes. And then we come back to L.A. and get to work. But until then, I just want you to focus on taking it easy.”

So take it easy he had. Or at least he had tried to when he was back home in England. Harry quickly grew restless after what felt like the millionth awkward conversation with past friends and acquaintances, all of which eventually led to the topic of One Direction and it’s unexpected hiatus. After one month at home, his mind and journal were full of ideas for songs, things that he wanted to say before he lost his nerve. One night as he tossed and turned in bed, he shot Jeff a text, just two words that would kick off a three month getaway to the Big Island of Hawai'i:

I’m ready.

********

“Sounds great, I'll go put in your order.” Alani offers sweetly, trying not to overdo it with the customer service voice. After waiting on the family at her designated table, she heads back to the kitchen and finds her younger sister, Pua, crouched in the corner taking what appears to be a serious phone call.

“I don’t know, I just saw it!” Her sister cries in a hushed tone. “Where do you think he’s going?”

“Is everything okay?” Alani cuts in with concern.

Pua whispers into the speaker before bringing the phone to her shoulder.

“Harry Styles was just spotted on a plane this morning,”

“Who?”

“The guy from One Direction,” her sister explains with a hint of irritation in her voice. “The band who sings that song you secretly like, ‘Fireproof,'”

Alani vaguely recalls the melody, but she waits expectantly for Pua to elaborate. “And this is news because…”

“Because the band just broke up, so where could he possibly be going?”

"The unemployment office?”

Pua rolls her eyes and returns to her phone call while Alani envelops her in a tight hug.

“I’m just kidding!” Alani apologizes, squeezing tighter despite her sister’s attempts to break free. “I’m sure he’ll be living off of royalty checks until he’s, like, eighty,”

“Get off me, freak!” Pua cries out, finally breaking the embrace.

Alani clutches her chest and pulls out an invisible knife. “Ouch. I’m telling Harry you said that,”

“This is exactly why I don’t tell you things.” the younger sister huffs, storming out of the kitchen through the employee entrance where Alani’s best friend, Maleah, has just arrived.

“Looks like someone forgot to eat their Cheerios today,” she remarks, tying her curls into a high ponytail.

Alani shrugs and leans against the counter. “She’s going through something. Just discovered that boys in pop bands are, in fact, just regular boys.”

“Poor thing,” Maleah frowns. “We all have to learn eventually.”

********

The sky is a blend of cotton candy pink and burnt orange when Alani returns home from the café with a strawberry smoothie in tow. She empties the mailbox and sorts through the various bills and advertisements, but her stomach drops when she sees a familiar return address label. After a quick greeting to her excited dog who waits at the door, Alani bolts up the stairs and quietly shuts the bedroom door behind her. Breathe, she reminds herself before tearing into the envelope and discarding it onto the wooden floor.

Dear Ms. Hale,

We are very grateful to have received your submission to Rolling Stone magazine. However, we regret to inform you—

She doesn’t read the rest, slumping to the floor in defeat. The sixth rejection letter from Rolling Stone lies crumpled at Alani’s feet and she kicks it across the room with a frustrated grunt. She had worked for over two months perfecting her analysis of Joni Mitchell’s Big Yellow Taxi and its allusions to the environmental impact of urban development in Hawaii. As part of her initial research, Alani had even traveled to both the Royal Hawaiian hotel in Honolulu, which is the famous Pink Hotel mentioned in the song, and Foster Botanical Garden that Mitchell referred to as “the tree museum.” She was certain that her effort and persistence would result in at least a consideration. The second third time's the charm! Maleah had joked watching Alani submit the piece. Six articles in the span of two years, each one facing the same rejection despite the increased effort Alani had put in over time. The fact that the rejection letter hadn’t changed over the course of the two years brings an incredulous smile to her face, and her stomach turns when she considers that the editors probably hadn’t even read her work, anyway. All that effort, she thinks to herself, all that time, for nothing.

“It will take time,” her favorite professor, Dr. Hudson, had reassured her three months after the Joni Mitchell article was submitted. “Every great writer faced countless rejection until that one piece. Yours will come. Keep your eyes open and your pen ready.”

Alani sighs and lifts herself off the floor, choosing to crawl into her unmade bed instead of slumping onto the hardwood. She hears a soft scratching at the door before her King Charles Spaniel, Freddie, pads into the room.

“Come here, bubs,” Alani whispers. He obeys and burrows into the duvet, giving her temple a gentle lick before nuzzling into the nape of her neck.

“You still love me, right?” she asks, voice cracking. “Even if I’m a failure?”

Freddie sniffs her ear in response.

********

“Right,” Harry says, his tongue peeking from the corner of his mouth as he reads the map. “No, left, sorry,”

“Do you actually know how to read a map?” Jeff teases, correcting the turn.

Harry pouts in response, his brows furrowing. “In my defense, we’re literally in the middle of fucking nowhere,”

“There are worse places to be,” Mitch pipes up from the back seat. “England, for example, where they say things like ‘litchrally’,”

“Very well said, Mitchell,” Jeff Bhasker adds with a fake British accent of his own.

Harry turns to his friends in the back seat with a finger pointed like an agitated mother. “If you lot don’t shut up, I’m gonna lead us to a volcano and push you in,”

“Where are we even going? I forgot,” Tom complains.

“To get food,” his manager responds from the driver’s seat. “I think,”

“Why can’t we just stop there?” Mitch asks pointing to a café pulling up on their right.

Jeff merges into the turning lane quickly without a second thought. “Good enough for me, I’m starving.”

“Sorry, H.” Mitch pats his friend on the shoulder.

Harry scoffs. “You’re the one who wanted poke.”

The Aloha Nui Loa Café is much more spacious than the exterior suggests, yet it still feels cozy. The walls are painted sage green and adorned with various local art pieces, as described by the plaques that accompany them. A skylight fills the center of the room with plenty of warm lighting, leaving the space along the walls in a bit more shade for an intimate feel. In one corner, a hanging disco ball leaves freckles of sparkling light along the walls where the sunlight hits, making the whole image very idyllic in Harry’s mind. As if he couldn’t enjoy the setting more, he hears the beginning of an Otis Redding song that he’s had stuck in his head drift through the restaurant speakers.

“Welcome in!” a voice calls, which pulls him from his survey of the room. His head whips to the source—a girl around his age with wavy, dark hair and honey skin. “For here or to go?”

Harry takes a hesitant step up to the counter. “For here,”

She smiles warmly and pulls some menus from under the counter. “How many in your party?”

“Five.”

“Great, follow me.”

Harry and his friends follow the waitress to the corner of the room under the disco ball and take their seats at the round table.

“My name is Alani,” she introduces herself, setting the menus down. “I’ll be serving you today. Can I get you started with some drinks?”

Harry continues scanning the restaurant while his group orders. His eyes land on the shirt that Alani is wearing, a white tee with the words “Enjoy Health, Eat Your Honey” in blue lettering that surrounds a picture of a cartoon bee.

“Harry,” Jeff says gently, catching his drifting attention.

The singer turns to his manager, who nods to Alani waiting with a pen pressed to her notepad. Harry feels a rush of embarrassment creep across his cheeks and he clears his throat to cover it.

“Just water,” he says, eyes glued to the menu. “Thanks.”

“You got it.” Alani nods, flashing a toothy grin at the rest of the group before turning back to the kitchen. Harry. Her mind repeats, finding a hint of familiarity, though she doesn’t know why.

When Alani arrives at the drink station, she finds her sister staring at her, mouth agape, while Maleah unsuccessfully conceals her laughter.

“What?” she questions, checking herself for any embarrassing stains or smells.

“You were—and he—” Pua stammers. “He was—and then he—”

“That’s Harry Styles,” Maleah translates, her voice hushed as she peers over her friend's shoulder.

Alani turns to steal a glance at the table she just seated, but Pua and Maleah latch onto her and shake their heads frantically.

“Don’t look!” her sister hisses.

Alani smirks, amused at their reactions. “No shit. That’s One Direction?”

Maleah snorts, clasping a hand over her mouth as Pua huffs. “No, dumbass! It’s just Harry. I don’t know who the other guys are,”

“But the blonde guy? That’s not—?”

“No!” Pua and Maleah giggle in unison.

“Okay, geez,” Alani relents. She manages to steal a quick glance at the table over her shoulder, immediately searching for Harry. Her eyes scan over the long, curly hair kept out of his face by a pair of white sunglasses that she had seen on Kurt Cobain once. All of his features are sharp and striking, from his pointed nose and defined jawline to the bright blue eyes. Or maybe they were grey? Alani wonders, trying to remember the exact shade. He doesn’t look anything like the fresh-faced teeny bopper she’d had in mind, the one from a music video her sister had shown her a long time ago. She would have never guessed that the What Makes You Beautiful singer had so much dark ink trailing down his bicep and forearm, though her knowledge of One Direction was very limited.

“What did he order?” Pua questions, her eyes wide.

Alani quickly snaps back to reality and resumes filling the drinks. “A water,”

“Oh my god,” Maleah swoons. “I’m never drinking anything else ever again,”

“I didn’t even know you liked him,” Alani teases with an eyebrow raised.

Maleah sneaks another peek at the table and catches her lower lip between her teeth. “I mean, I didn’t really think so either but look at him. What a fucking dream,”

Harry was objectively handsome, this Alani could admit, but she personally didn’t see the appeal and had a strong feeling that he was just like every other male celebrity. The fact that he hadn’t even bothered to make eye contact with her only served as further proof of what she knew to be true.

“Okay, well, your dreamboat is waiting for his water. So excuse me,” Alani winks, making her way back to the table.

The singer spots Alani returning out of the corner of his eye and the sight of her causes a strange flutter in the pit of his stomach that makes him want to duck for cover. Instead, he pulls his phone from his back pocket and pretends to be occupied with something on the screen.

“Okay,” she greets, setting the drink tray down. “I have a Blue Hawaii, a Mango Mama, two Loco Cocos, and a water,”

The group graciously accepts their drinks with a chorus of “thank you," but the only one under Alani’s scrutiny is Harry. He still doesn’t meet her almond eyes, and though she figured he wouldn’t, she can’t help the inkling of disappointment that washes over her. After taking their meal orders, Alani heads back to the kitchen, checking on her other customers along the way. Harry’s eyes follow her and he observes the way customers light up at her presence, indulging her conversation with laughter. He watches as she lingers by the jukebox in one corner of the room, a detail he had missed in his initial scan, and waits anxiously to see what song she chooses. Baby I’m-a Want You begins softly and Harry feels the corner of his lip curl ever so slightly. Good choice, he thinks.

********

“He’s still here,” Pua muses, peering through the tiny window in the kitchen door. It had been nearly two hours and the five men were still seated around their table cracking jokes and doing a lot of talking with their hands.

Alani doesn’t look up from her bowl of sliced kiwis, offering a hum in response. “And what do you want me to do about that?”

“Nothing,” Pua shoots back. “Don’t bother him,”

“What kind of girls do you think he’s into?” Maleah asks, attempting to peek through the window.

Alani shrugs, bored of the conversation and of thinking about Harry. “I don’t know, but I’ll bet he’s a real sucker for the ones who stalk him while he’s eating,”

“How does he make eating a salad look hot?”

“Can we talk about something else now?” Alani whines, poking holes in a lone kiwi with her fork.

Pua tosses a wet dish rag in her sister’s direction and cheers when it lands in her face. “Go see if he wants more water, he looks thirsty.”

“I already refilled it,” Alani defends. “Twenty minutes ago. I’ve refilled it a hundred times, I’m surprised he hasn’t peed his pants.”

I’m gonna piss myself. Harry thinks, his right leg bouncing to distract himself. He really wasn’t all that thirsty, but he couldn’t stop himself from finishing each glass of water that Alani placed in front of him. He really wasn’t all that thirsty, but he couldn’t stop himself from finishing each glass of water that Alani placed in front of him. Like clockwork, she would return to fill his glass almost as soon as the last drop had been drained, and so what began as a little experiment slowly turned into a bladder hazard. But if the trend was to be trusted, she would be back any minute and he wasn’t going to miss it; afterall, there were only so many ways to casually linger in a small café without making it weird. Unable to bear it any longer, he heads to the restroom and hopes that Alani doesn’t clear their table before he has a chance to see her again.

Harry pads down the back hallway with his eyes cast down at the floor, which proves to be a mistake when he walks directly into another person.

“Sorry!” they both apologize quickly, Harry’s palm taking purchase on the other person’s upper arm.

“I wasn’t paying attention,” he offers, finally meeting the dark, mocha eyes already looking back at him.

Alani presses her lips into a tight smile. “Me either,”

Harry’s heartbeat picks up when he realizes it’s her, and he isn’t aware of how close they’re standing until he detects the faint scent of kiwi on her breath. He takes a step back and rakes a hand through his hair.

“So I guess I’ll just—”

“Yeah, sure.”

Green. Alani notes to herself. His eyes are green.

********

Shortly after Harry returned from the restroom, him and his friends settled their bill and headed out. Alani cleared their table and her eyes nearly fell out of her head when she saw the hefty tip left behind. The word mahalo was also left behind on the receipt, underlined twice, and she wondered if it was his handwriting.

Later that night, she settled into bed with her laptop and hesitantly typed his name into Google. As she expected, countless articles about the split of One Direction emerged, most of them speculating what was next for each member. To her surprise, however, Harry’s name seemed to be mentioned more than his fellow bandmates as various sources labeled him “the next Justin Timberlake” and rising star of the group. Upon further investigation, she learned that the demand for information about the elusive Harry Styles was high, especially concerning any possible solo music. No news had yet been confirmed by Styles himself, nor anyone claiming to represent him, but she still wondered if his presence in Hawaii had anything to do with a possible solo project. Almost as soon as she thought it, Alani dismissed the theory in favor of the idea that he was most likely just taking a vacation. And from the buzz that she saw surrounding the news about One Direction, she couldn’t blame him.

The more Alani read, the more she wanted to know, and something deep down told her that his was a story worth telling. Of course, the only problem was that she had hardly talked to him, and there were only so many things she could say about the fifteen glasses of water he downed. There was no way of knowing if she would ever see him again, either, or if he was merely stopping in Hilo on his way to another island or somewhere else entirely. Alani sighed, thinking back to her most recent rejection from Rolling Stone. She knew that there was no possible way she would ever see or talk to Harry ever again, and even if she did, why would he bare his entire soul to a stranger? Still, she let her mind wander through the possibility.

Dear Ms. Hale, the letter would read, we are very grateful to have received your submission to Rolling Stone magazine and are pleased to inform you that your piece on Harry Styles will be featured in next month’s issue. Additionally, we would be honored to have you on staff, effective immediately.

It was far-fetched, Alani knew this, but she dozed off that night with endless ideas swimming in her head.

********

By the third day after his visit, the only trace of Harry is in Alani’s search history. She would have completely forgotten about him if it weren’t for her sister’s constant reminiscing and multiple attempts to rename the house salad to the “Harry Special.” As a result, a part of Alani’s thoughts periodically linger back to that day and the subsequent hours spent on Google that she’d rationalized as research instead of stalking. Somehow the knowledge that she’ll never see him again only adds fuel to the questions still burning in her mind, but a customer clearing their throat while she sorts menus below the hostess podium interrupts her thoughts.

“Welcome in!” She calls, standing. “What can I—”

She stops in her tracks, unable to believe her eyes. Harry blinks and waits for her to continue.

“What can I get started for you?” Alani tries again, hoping that he hadn’t noticed her shock. Luckily for her, Harry had been too focused on choosing his next words to register her mistake.

“What’s in the Honu smoothie?” he asks, mentally kicking himself for asking such a stupid question when the menu just inches above her head clearly spells it out.

Alani hums, thinking back to the times she had made the smoothie herself. “Kiwis, spinach, mango, avocado, and a hint of lime,”

“I’ll take one of those,” Harry says, reaching for his wallet.

Alani punches in the order with trembling fingers and nods. “For here or to go?”

“To go,”

Disappointment fills her chest. Sure, she hadn’t planned on seeing him ever again, but the fact that she did felt like a sign. If she wanted to take the chance, she’d have to do it fast.

“Anything else?” she asks, weighing her options while he skims the menu.

“No thanks.”

Alani makes the smoothie quickly, head spinning. She had spent most of the night after their initial meeting planning out exactly the type of questions she hoped to ask him and what kind of article she would write. She was used to writing about what she knew—artists and music she’d admired for years— but she figured that starting fresh with someone she hardly knew would be a good challenge. Not to mention that it seemed like just the thing Rolling Stone would jump for. Alani finally works up the courage as she finishes his smoothie, but when she returns to hand it to him and hopefully strike up a conversation, his ear is pressed to his cell phone. She holds out the drink and he graciously accepts, giving her a small nod as a “thank you” and rushing out of the restaurant.

Two days later he returns and is seated at the counter, typing away on his phone. Alani feels both a rush of optimism and annoyance at the universe for dangling his presence so unexpectedly. She starts heading over to him, but Maleah cuts in.

“Trade me?” she proposes, eyes wide.

Alani blinks. “Oh, I would but I—”

“Please,” her best friend pouts. “I’m leaving to see my grandparents in stupid California for two months. Who knows when I’ll get the chance to see him again?”

Alani sighs, but gives in, reluctantly exchanging Harry for the family of four seated by the window. A strange feeling settles into the pit of his stomach when he sees that she heads in the opposite direction after a hushed conversation with another waitress. He doesn’t know why she traded him for a different customer, but he takes the hint.

A week goes by without another sighting of Harry and Alani has permanently taken on the role of greeting hostess in hopes of seeing him again. Her heartbeat temporarily speeds up when she sees a long haired customer approach the door, but her spirits quickly fall when the face doesn’t match his.

Another week brings another disappointing realization that Harry might be gone for good. One rainy morning when the restaurant is quiet and only two customers huddle together in a booth near the back, Alani hunches over the hostess podium and doodles on a stray receipt— a sunflower, a crescent moon, and two hearts. The bell above the door jingles but she doesn’t look up, too absorbed in her scribbles.

“Do you serve coffee?”

The familiar accented voice stops Alani’s pen dead in its tracks. She lifts her eyes first to confirm, and then straightens up when she sees that her ears haven’t deceived her.

“Yes,” she swallows.

“Great. I’ll take it to go,”

She slightly deflates, but Harry thinks he’s reading too much into it.

“Actually,” he corrects anyway, just in case he isn’t. “I think I’ll stay for a while,”

Alani flashes a warm smile and nods in the direction of the counter. “Right this way,”

Harry sheds his windbreaker onto the back of the seat, revealing a black and white Rolling Stones t-shirt that makes Alani’s blood pressure rise. A sign, she thinks.

“What do you want in your coffee?” she questions carefully.

“Nothing,” he responds, shaking out his damp hair gently. “Or actually, uh, butter...if you have some,”

Alani blinks, not sure if she’d heard correctly or if there had been some transatlantic miscommunication.

“Butter?”

“Yeah,”

“Like the—”

“Spread, yeah,” Harry confirms. “It’s weird, I know,”

She lets out a light-hearted laugh and nods. “It’s a...unique request,”

“I thought the same thing at first,” Harry confides. “It’s not bad, actually. But maybe I’ve just been in L.A. for too long.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

She offers a polite smile and heads to the kitchen where the cook and two other waiters talk amongst each other. Alani is grateful that the restaurant is slow this morning because she knows that it means minimal interruptions to her time with Harry. To ensure this, though, she asks one of the other waiters to cover the podium and returns to Harry with his coffee.

“One butter coffee, free of judgement,” the waitress announces, setting it down.

Harry grins softly, stirring the drink with the spoon Alani provided. “You can judge, it’s alright,”

“I just wanna know why,”

The coffee had been part of a fad diet while on tour in order to boost Harry’s energy on stage and stay trim for the hundreds of photo-ops he would be a part of. He doesn’t know how to communicate all of this to Alani, however, not sure how much she knows about that part of him, so he shrugs and tells a simplified version of the truth.

“I read about this trend a while back, it's called bulletproof coffee. Supposed to get your energy up and I needed it for my job,”

“Which is…” Alani trails off, downplaying the knowledge that she had acquired from Google.

“I make music,” is all Harry says and he takes a sip of the drink to avoid elaborating.

“Anything I would have heard?”

He swallows hard and listens to the faint rumbling of thunder outside before replying. “Possibly,”

“Try me,” Alani challenges.

He narrows his eyes and takes another sip of coffee. “Why don’t you tell me something about yourself first?”

“What do you wanna know?”

Everything, Harry responds internally, though he reigns it in. “How you got into waitressing,”

Alani sighs, resting her elbows on the counter across from him. “There’s not much to tell, it’s a family business. What I really wanna do is write,”

“Music?”

“Articles. I’m studying Journalism at UH,”

Harry hums in response, filing the detail away in the back of his mind. “Sounds interesting. You ever publish anything?”

“Not yet,” Alani shakes her head gently, toying with the sleeves of her green University of Hawaii crewneck. “Hopefully soon, though,”

Harry racks his brain for something else to say, but before he can, Alani speaks up again.

“Is it my turn to ask something now?”

He offers a curt nod and stirs his coffee.

“What kind of music do you write?”

Harry chooses to be vague again. “Different stuff. Pop, usually. Been messing with some classic rock, though,”

“Explains the shirt,”

He peers down at the design on his tee and agrees. “Yeah, I guess so,”

“Do you like it?” Alani asks, her eyes begging to make contact with his again. “Writing music, I mean,”

“Yeah,” Harry confirms, tapping his spoon against the rim of the mug. “I really do,”

Alani’s heart pounds. This is her chance, a moment to finally secure her breakthrough piece. She doesn’t know how to approach it, so she opts to dive right in without looking back. The worst he can say is no.

“Can I ask you something else?”

“That’s cheating,” Harry teases lightly. “It's my turn,”

She pouts playfully, but obliges. “Fire away,”

Harry doesn’t know which question to ask first, but when he glances down at the crescent moon inked on her wrist, he decides to start there.

“What’s with the moon tattoo?”

Alani isn’t sure what she expected him to ask and wonders what purpose such a detail could possibly serve him, but she answers anyway.

“Oh, well,” she begins, tracing her index finger over the outline. “It’s kinda the meaning of my full name. It’s Mahealani, Hawaiian for ‘heavenly moon,'”

Fitting, Harry comments to himself. Every detail he learns about her makes him want to learn that much more, from her favorite foods to the last thing she thinks about before falling asleep. Studying her expectant eyes, he suddenly remembers that it’s his turn to respond.

“That’s cool,” is all he says.

Alani doesn’t know what to make of the faraway look in his eye, but she decides to pose her most burning question while he appears to be in good spirits.

“I know this is gonna sound totally out of the blue,” she starts, working past the lump in her throat. “But when you mentioned how you write music, I was just reminded of this assignment I’m working on in my class,”

Harry waits for her to continue, nursing his now lukewarm coffee.

“I’m supposed to write a piece about someone who I don’t know that well,” she continues. “You know, to practice our interviewing skills. And, well, I was just kind of wondering if you might be interested in helping me out—being the subject, I mean,”

Alani had every intention of telling Harry the truth, about how she really planned to submit the article to Rolling Stone in hopes of securing an internship before her college graduation next Spring. But as she started speaking, she quickly realized how it would come off: a complete stranger asking for personal information to submit to a well-known publication. She knew that there was a chance he would shut down and never return, so she lowered the stakes and hoped that this route would be less risky. Was it ethical? Alani hadn’t decided yet, but she would work out the details later. After six failed articles and two years of rejection, she saw a ray of hope and wasn’t going to let it slip away.

Harry ponders her offer for a moment, which confirms that she had recognized him. Normally he would be off-put by such a request, and to a certain extent he is, but there is something sincere in her voice that he trusts deep down. Before he agrees, however, he decides to fish around a bit to test her reaction.

“You know who I am,” he says gently. “Don’t you?”

Alani’s heart drops into the pit of her stomach, not sure what to say next. She hopes with every fiber of her being that she hasn’t upset him, or worse, ruined her chances, so she decides to offer some truth to throw him off her scent.

“My sister recognized you,” she explains. “That day you came in with your friends. I thought they were your bandmates at first,”

This lets Harry know that she isn’t a total stalker, which is comforting, but he wouldn’t have been minded if she were a fan simply engaging in conversation.

“Oh,” he laughs weakly.

“I totally understand if you say no,” Alani offers quickly, trying to smooth things over. “I just thought it was worth a shot. And that it might be more interesting than interviewing our produce guy,”

Harry decides to give her one last scan for any sign of insincerity. He’d always felt that his gut instinct was strong and it hadn’t led him astray thus far.

“An interview?” he clarifies.

“Just one,” Alani promises. “An hour, tops. And you can proofread all of it once I’ve finished, too.”

Harry waits a beat, already knowing his reply, but he wants to see how she will react to his silence. She doesn’t budge, almond eyes set and determined.

“Okay.”

next chapter

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles writing #harry styles x oc #harry styles fluff #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #ybmh #she's here she's here she's here!!!!!

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piratewithvigor · 4 years

Text

My first thought in regard to every band that gets played on my radio station

ACDC: Every dad’s favourite band

Adams, Bryan: Every mom’s favourite singer until Michael Buble came along

Aerosmith: haha they thought Vince Neil was a lady

Alice Cooper: he’s a Game Of Thrones fanboy and I have proof

Alice In Chains: my sister doesn’t like them because she decided AC were Alice Cooper’s initials ONLY

Allman Brothers Band: good music for dropping acid to

Allman, Gregg: That’s too many Gs for one name

Animals: House Of The Rising Sun, or who even cares

Argent: Sometimes Hold Your Head Up is really catchy

Asia: Tuesdays

Autograph: one of the members went on to be a pharmacist

Bachman-Turner Overdrive: There are just so many pop culture jokes about Taking Care Of Business that whatever I say won’t be as funny

Bad Company: with their song; Bad Company, off their album; Bad Company

Benatar, Pat: Always getting her confused with Patti Smith

Black Crowes: I like them for Lickin, but it doesn’t seem to exist outside of one shoddy video on youtube and my old CD

Blackfoot: this band name feels kind of racy

Black Sabbath: Dio was not better or worse than Ozzy; just different

Blondie: I like Call Me, but Blondie confuses me stylistically

Blue Oyster Cult: MORE COWBELL

Bon Jovi: Hello, childhood trauma, I missed you

Boston: ONE GUY. ONE GUY DID IT ALL AND NO ONE KNOWS

Bowie, David: Don’t let your children watch The Man Who Fell To Earth, or David Bowie’s will end up being the third penis they see in life

Browne, Jackson: Another musician ruined by Supernatural

Buffalo Springfield: Jack Nicholson was at the riot they sing about

Burdon, Eric: no ideas, brain empty

Bush: ditto

Candlebox: ditto once more. Who are these people?

Cars: This band feels so gay and so straight at the same time, I can only assume they’re the poster children of bisexual panic

Cheap Trick: I played Dream Police on Guitar Hero so fucking much because it was the only song anyone who played with me could keep up with

Chicago: Chicago 30 exists, but they do not have 30 albums. Fucking riddle me that

Clapton, Eric: 6 discs in one Greatest Hits is too many. That’s called “re releasing your discography”

Cochrane, Tom: For some reason, everyone thinks Rascal Flats did it better

Cocker, Joe: Belushi did it right

Collective Soul: who?

Collins, Phil: If his biggest hits were done by MCR, they would be emo anthems, but because he’s 5′6″ and from the 80s, they’re not

Cream: *Vietnam flashbacks on the hippie side*

CCR: *Vietnam flashbacks on the war side*

CSNY: David Crosby; meh

Deep Purple: THEY’RE SO MUCH MORE THAN SMOKE ON THE WATER

Def Leppard: the only music for when you’re a heartbroken bitch but also a sexy one

Derek And The Dominos: Clapton and ‘Layla’ broke up

Derringer, Rick: Tom Petty if he was from the midwest

Dio: You thought it was an anime reference, but it was me, Dio

Dire Straits: You can tell how bigoted a radio station is based on how much of Money For Nothing they censor

Doobie Brothers: I have yet to smoke weed, but I listen to the Doobies, and I think that’s pretty close

Dylan, Bob: I take back everything I said about him in my youth

Eagles: Hotel California isn’t their best song, but the memes that come from it are second to none

Edgar Winter Group: @the--blackdahlia

Electric Light Orchestra: Actually an orchestra and sound a fuckton like George Harrison

ELO: I really hesitate to ask what happens with the 7 virgins and a mule

Essex, David: no prominent memories of him

Fabulous Thunderbirds: cannot spell

Faces: Who on earth thought that was a good album name?

Faith No More: I got nothing

Fixx: One Thing Leads To Another is a damn bop

Fleetwood Mac: I ain’t straight, but I’m simply not enough of a witch to enjoy them to full potential

Fogerty, John: He got sued cause he sounded like himself

Foghat: Slow Ride slowly becoming less coherent feels like a drug trip

Foo Fighters: He was just excited to buy a grill

Ford, Lita: deserved better

Foreigner: dramatically overplayed

Frampton, Peter: a masterful user of the talk box

Free: dramatically underplayed

Gabriel, Peter: leaving Genesis changed him a lot

Genesis: if someone likes Genesis, clarify the era, because yes, it does matter

Georgia Satellites: sing like you have a cactus in your ass

Golden Earring: Twilight Zone slaps, but it doesn’t slap as hard as this station thinks it does

Grand Funk Railroad: Funk

Grateful Dead: I like their aesthetic more than their music

Great White: there are so many fucking shark jokes

Greenbaum, Norman: makes me think of Subway for some reason

Green Day: the first of the emo revolution

Greg Kihn Band: RocKihnRoll is literally the most clever album name I’ve ever seen

Guns N Roses: They have more than three good songs, but radio stations never recognize that

Hagar, Sammy: I’m still trying to figure out where he lived to take 16 hours to get to LA driving 55 and how fucking fast was he driving beforehand?

Harrison, George: He went from religious to rock, and if he had continued rocking, he would have gotten too cool

Head East: I respect people who use breakfast foods as album names

Heart: Magic Man and Barracuda are played at least once every goddamn day. They’re not even the best songs!

Hendrix, Jimi: I have both a cousin and a sibling named after Hendrix references

Henley, Don: Dirty Laundry gives me too much inspiration

Hollies: Somehow sound like they’re both from the 60s and the 80s at the same time

Idol, Billy: he’s doing well for himself

INXS: Terminator vibes

Iris, Donnie: knockoff Roy Orbison

James Gang: too many funks

Jane’s Addiction: if TMNT had a grunge band representative

Jefferson Airplane: *assorted cheers*

Jefferson Starship: *assorted boos*

Jethro Tull: The only band to make you feel not cool enough to play the flute

Jett, Joan: icon

J. Geils Band: I requested them on the radio once and it got played

Joel, Billy: he really did just air everybody’s business like that

John Cafferty And The Beaver Brown Band: literally wtf is that name

John, Elton: yarn Elton sits in my basement, unstaring. Please someone take him from me

Joplin, Janis: Queen

Journey: Stop overplaying Don’t Stop Believing. It takes away from the rest of the repetoire

Judas Priest: literally started the gay leather aesthetic

Kansas: another fucking band Supernatural stole

Kenny Wayne Shepherd: the man confuses me to the point where he isn’t in the right place alphabetically

Kiss: Mick Mars and I will simply have to disagree on the subject

Kravitz, Lenny: runaway vibes

Led Zeppelin: Fucking fight me if you don’t think they’re the most talented band (maybe not the most talented individually, but collectively, no one comes close)

Lennon, John: My least favourite Beatle for reasons

Live: I got nothin

Living Colour: slap a decent amount

Loverboy: do you not get TURNT the fuck up to the big Loverboy hits? Who hurt you??

Lynyrd Skynyrd: Sweet Home Alabama is a Neil Young diss track

Marshall Tucker Band: no opinion

Manfred Mann’s Earth Band: VERY STRONG OPINIONS THAT THEY AREN’T GOOD

McCartney, Paul/Wings: Power couple

Meatloaf: I have nothing but respect for a man who willingly named himself Meatloaf

Mellencamp, John: voted cutest lesbian of 1987

Metallica: I liked their appearance on Jimmy Fallon

Midnight Oil: I get them confused for Talking Heads a lot

Modern English: who?

Molly Hatchet: Hollies vibes, but also Georgia Satellites vibes

Money, Eddie: DAN AVIDAN, IF YOU SEE THIS, COVER TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT

Motley Crue: Stan Mick Mars and John Corabi. They’re the only ones who deserve it

Mott The Hoople: no one loves them except for David Bowie

Mountain: props for naming an album ‘Climbing’

Nazareth: I want to make a John Mulaney joke here, but I can never come up with one

Nicks, Stevie: witch queen

Night Ranger: I get them confused with Urge Overkill

Nirvana: Kurt Cobain was the ally grunge needed

Nova, Aldo: he’s Canadian, at least

Nugent, Ted: *serves a ghost as jerky*

Offspring: nothing here

Osbourne, Ozzy: this bitch crazy

Outfield: Your Love is kind of a sketchy song, but it slaps hard

Palmer, Robert: low quality Eddie Money

Pearl Jam: *grunts in Eddie Vedder*

Petty, Tom: I have so many feelings about Tom Petty and they are all good

Pink Floyd: which one is Pink?

Plant, Robert: solo career is a crapshoot, but his voice is unparalleled

Poison: I want them to write a song called ‘Alice Cooper’

Pretenders: I want to say good things, but I have nothing to say

Queen: A doctor of astrophysics, a screaming girl, a disco queen and a diva walk into a bar. It’s Queen; they’re there to play a gig

Queensryche: neutral opinion

Quiet Riot: they got big because of a song they hated. I love that

Rafferty, Gerry: the second-sexiest sax opening in all of music

Rainbow: Ritchie Blackmore created something very magnificent

Ram Jam: one good song and they didn’t even write it

Ratt: I’m sure they have more than Round And Round, but I don’t know it

RHCP: funky, but if you have paid money to hear them, you’re going to The Bad Place (I don’t make the rules)

Red Rider: basically Golden Earring

Reed, Lou: Walk On The Wild Side would be such a cool song if it wasn’t so dull

REM: American Tragically Hip

REO Speedwagon: Props for having a dad joke as an album title

Rolling Stones: Never in my life could I imagine the drummer being named anything but Charlie

Rush: How to make being uncool the coolest fucking shit

Santana: The world needs more Santana

Scandal: There’s something really funny about The Warrior being my brother’s “song” with his girlfriend

Scorpions: Was Wind Of Change written by the CIA? Only the spotify podcast I got an ad for once could say

Seger, Bob: A different variety of Eric Clapton (frankly a better variety, but that’s just me)

Simple Minds: we ALL forgot about you

Skid Row: Sebastian Bach is prettier than all of us

Soundgarden: music that makes you feel like you dunked your head underwater

Springsteen, Bruce: my arch-nemesis. Maybe someday, he’ll find out about it

Squeeze: according to my friends, the stupidest band name ever, but they’re theatre kids, so you know

Squier, Billy: If he can make it through 1984 alive, you can make it through whatever bad day you’re having

Stealers Wheel: Yet another band who I always mistake for George Harrison

Steely Dan: my house’s nickname for the Robber in Settlers Of Catan

Steppenwolf: Either makes me think of Jay & Silent Bob, Jack Nicholson, or that time I had to cut 6lbs of onions

Steve Miller Band: when you’re in the right mood, they slap hard

Stewart, Rod: my soundtrack to summer 2015

Stills, Stephen: Love The One You’re With Is Catchy, but the lyrics are questionable

Stone Temple Pilots: the only band to write a song about goo you smear on yourself

Stray Cats: an obscene amount of merch is available for them

Styx: Supernatural would have ruined them for me too if I hadn’t been into them previously.

Supertramp: I hunted for Breakfast In America for two years and it was worth every hunt

Sweet: I will never understand my two-month obsession with Ballroom Blitz when I was 15, but it was legit all I listened to

Talking Heads: you may find yourself in a pizza hut. And you may find yourself in a taco bell. And you may find yourself at the combination pizza hut and taco bell. And you may ask yourself; ‘how did I get here?’

Temple Of The Dog: I keep confusing them for Nazareth

Ten Years After: somehow still relevant

Tesla: not the car or the dude

The Beatles: Evokes a lot of opinions from people. Mine is that I love them

The Clash: I showed my sister the ‘Lock The Taskbar’ vine ONCE and it still kills her

The Doors: evokes teenage terror from deep within my soul

The Guess Who: Canada’s answer to confusing question-themed band names

The Kinks: kinky

The Police: wrote the theme of 2020 and everyone somehow forgot it was about a teacher resisting becoming a pedophile

The Ramones: playing all of their songs in a row wouldn’t take more than 2 hours

The Romantics: you don’t think you know them, but if you’ve seen Shrek 2, you have

The Who: If someone can explain Tommy to me, I’d be glad to hear it

The Zombies: I think they happened because of the 60s

Thin Lizzy: Could the boys maybe leave town?

Thorogood, George: blues, but make it modern

Toto: the most memed song behind All Star

Townshend, Pete: just makes me think of the end of Mr. Deeds

T-Rex: Mark Bolan is an icon

Triumph: The no-name brand of Rush

Tubes: like the yogurt

Twisted Sister: they did a christmas album and my mom does NOT hate it

U2: U2 Movers; we move in mysterious ways

Van Halen: RIP Eddie

Van Morrison: honestly, who’s named Van?

Vaughn, Stevie Ray: Steamy Ray Vaughn

Walsh, Joe: The Smoker You Drink The Player You Get

War: Foghat, but even groovier

Whitesnake: the most successful band to be named after a penis

Wright, Gary: the 90s thanks him for writing the song every movie used for the “guy sees cute girl and it’s love at first sight” scene

Yes: To Be Continued

Young, Neil: The best part of CSNY

Zevon, Warren: the album cover of Excitable Boy makes me deeply uncomfortable for reasons I don’t understand

ZZ Top: has been the same three guys since 1969. Lineup unchanged.

3 Doors Down: They feel a little modern to be on a classic rock station, but whatever

38 Special: Why 38?

#I made this instead of doing homework #Classic Rock #Meme

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