#i'm enjoying this album more than i thought i would tbh

[drthrvn]

so it turns out that the songs with the shittiest titles ("We are fucking fucked", "You make me feel like it's Halloween") are one of the best ones on the album, got it

#i'm enjoying this album more than i thought i would tbh #Verona also slaps #muse #will of the people #wotp #matt bellamy #chris wolstenholme #dom howard

[presidentlokis-hornyhelmet]

Hi my fav writer, i got u more ideas ehe

Black cat!Reader x Pavitr

― You and Pavitr both had secret identitys and tried to keep it from each other as you both were dating but both of you guys mess up as when you guys found each others suit in each others dorms while you guys tried visiting each other.

Tutor!Reader x Tutee!Pavitr

― You basically tutor your bf, Pavitr as he faisl his class just to get you to tutor him vut he basically gets jelly when he learns that you started tutoring others teens than him.

Princess!Reader x Prince!Pavitr

― This one's actually an au instead if you can make it work but, basically, your parents decided that they wanted to get you married as soon as possible and you thought you wouldnt even like who your parents would introduce to you(same w pavi tbh) but then you both actually start to fall for eachother.

Always sleepy/tired!Reader x Doesnt care!Pavitr

― You're always tired and sleepy so one day, Pavitr just decides to carry you bridal style/on his back while you peppered his face with tired and soft kisses.

Photographer!Reader x Pavitr

― Showing Pavitr your album of candid polaroids of you nd him and shit while you guys sit down in your bed with the fairylights of your room and the lamp beside your bed being the only light sources that you guys have.

Barista!Reader x Barista!Pavitr

― You and Pavitr are both baristas at the same café and you both get scolded at after accidentally being caught on camera making out/kissing cuz you both work the night shift tgt.

Write well (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ 🫶

Breathless

❤️MASTERLIST🕸️

Pairing: Always sleepy/tired!Reader x Doesnt care!Pavitr Summary: You're always tired and sleepy so one day, Pavitr just decides to carry you bridal style/on his back while you peppered his face with tired and soft kisses.

Also read on AO3

🎶If our love was a fairy tale I would charge in and rescue you On a yacht, baby, we would sail To an island where we'd say I do And if we had babies they would look like you It'd be so beautiful if that came true You don't even know how very special you are You just walked out of one of my dreams So beautiful, you're leaving me breathless🎶 Breathless (by Shayne Ward)

Your legs were killing as you walked into your home. It was a hectic week and work was just unforgiving. Unable to take a step further, you collapse onto the couch, sighing in pleasure as you were finally able to stretch. It wasn't as soft as a mattress (which is just a few steps away), but even this was heavenly for your exhausted back. Soon, your eyes grow heavy and droop.

"Welcome home, Y/N baby!"

Pavitr cheerily greets you as he exits the kitchen holding a tray of piping hot chai and your favourite snacks, but stops short. A warm smile pulls across his face when he sees you softly snoring, curled up in a foetal position on the couch.

He puts the tray down on the coffee table and grabs a throw pillow to keep it under your head, but the motion disturbs you and you shoot up, confused and panicked. "Wha-!?"

"Shhh, meri jaan, go to sleep", he whispers, petting your hair to lull you back to slumber.

"No, no, I'm awake! Just taking a nap, I'm awake now. Fully attentive", you say, getting up, poorly hiding your yawn.

"Meri jaan, baby, it's okay-", Pavitr tries but you wave him off, insisting that you're fine.

You had promised him earlier that you'd be up all night, watching and cheering with him for the Indian team in the ODI. But the week had been exhausting, you weren't even able to get a shut-eye. Pavitr has been a caring, patient boyfriend to you and you really wanted to show yours by cheering his favourite team. It's the least you can do.

"Okay...", Pavitr says, giving you a knowing side eye and turning on the match.

As much as he was thrilled about watching the World Cup with you, he knows you're tired and loves you too much to make you sit through this; he doesn't want to make this a liability. To Pavitr, Quality Time is what both of you enjoy doing together. Something that isn't one-way.

The teams enter and you guys cheer, chanting their name as the camera pans in on each of the players. By the time they do the toss, you've already dozed off again.

Pavitr is alerted by the soft snores coming his way and turns to see you on the couch, your legs bent under your lap as you curl yourself in an awkward position.

Putting away your half-eaten snacks, he manoeuvres you, pulling your legs to lie across his lap and gently massages your feet. A smile caresses his face feeling you relax into the couch. His fingers gently brush the small strand of hair that falls on your forehead, making you exhale deeply.

His heart is full as he watches you, captivated.

And if we had babies they would look like youIt'd be so beautiful if that came trueYou don't even know how very special you are

Pavitr scoops you up in his arms bridal style, bringing you to your shared bedroom. The movement disturbs you out of your slumber once again.

Your eyelids flutter open, your beautiful eyes looking into his as you wrap your arms around his neck, peppering his face with tired, soft kisses.

You leave me breathlessYou're everything good in my lifeYou leave me breathlessI still can't believe that you're mine

"Pav.."

"Hmm?"

"Who won?"

A chuckle escapes his lips as he opens the bedroom door with his hip. "Not yet, meri jaan. But we did win the toss!"

Exhaustion is quick to take over and your face finds comfort in the crook of his neck, inhaling his cologne as you doze off, your little breaths hot on his skin.

He can't take his eyes off you, like he has been ever since he met you.

You must have been sent from heaven to earth to change meYou're like an angelThe thing that I feel is stronger than love believe meYou're something special

He lays you down upon the mattress, pulling the comforter over you and departing with a soft kiss to your forehead. But when he reaches the door, Pavitr can't help not taking his eyes off you.

I only hope that I'll one day deserve what you've given meBut all I can do is try every day of my life

How on earth are you his? It's like living in a dream..

You leave me breathlessYou're everything good in my lifeYou leave me breathlessI still can't believe that you're mine

Unable to resist, he comes back to steal a kiss from your lips.

You just walked out of one of my dreamsSo beautiful, you're leaving me breathless, breathless

Somehow, even without doing anything, you always leave him breathless.

______

Hope you like it! <3 I really want to do all the prompts and i hope soon i will <333333333333333333333

#pavitr prabhakar x reader #pavitr x reader #pavitr prabhakar x female reader #pavitr x fem!reader #pavitr prabhakhar x fem!reader #pavitr x gn reader #pavitr x male reader #pavitr prabhakar x fem reader #pavitr prabhakar x you #pavitr x you #pavitr x y/n #pavitr prabhakar x y/n #astv #Spider-Man #sony #pavitr prabhakar x gn!reader #pavitr x gn!reader #pavitr x gender neutral reader

[wrongcaitlyn]

Do you have any headcanons for the canon pjoverse???

oh my GOD DO I?? I HAVE SO MANY it's hard to even keep track of them all bc tbh i forget which ones are canon or not canon

in general i've put a *lot* of my hc's into my fics, specifically my because i'm a mirrorball series which is basically my version of will's backstory (even though a large amount of it was disproved by tsats... i'm just ignoring that bc it's already engrained in my head even though i did enjoy tsats)

i also think i share quite a few of the popular hc's of the fandom, just because i'm actually pretty new to it (read the pjo series in like september of 2022 i think? and then hoo and toa immediately after) and i consume fandom content to an unhealthy extent

HOWEVER here are some things i feel very strongly about

will is a swiftie. i think this is canon bc rick mentioned it during the tsats book tour i think?? or maybe cotg?? not sure but i DO think he said it at some point

and also his favorite album is fearless like he's that album's number one stan im sorry there's no other answer

nico can cook like rlly well

LEO NICO AND WILL FRIENDSHIP i know that leo lives at the waystation now. but. BUT. i'd like to think that he'd visit chb every once in a while and they'd be pretty good friends

adding on to that, aroace leo. caleo what? nope. leo is aroace and he was in denial and i actually wrote a whole fic about it because i just feel very VERY strongly about this

i just love the idea that even before toa, apollo was more present in his kids' lives than other gods. like, showing up in dreams and stuff. even if it came from a different purpose, like wanting to show off his poetry or music or whatever, he wasn't completely absent from their lives

i very much like the idea of will and nico sort of stepping up to be the "leaders"-ish of chb once percabeth leave for new rome. i mean, will already sort of is one with him being the head medic and also having seniority over a lot of the campers, and nico being a child of the big three like percy

percabeth returning to chb to create a sort of new rome type place for older demigods to live!! so they do not feel like they're going to die young immediately when arriving!!! bc they are children!! and deserve to live long lives!!!

i have a *lot* of thoughts about will and his trauma, but one of the main things i believe about him is that his fatal flaw is putting others before him and overworking himself. i think that being pushed into the head medic position from such a young age sort of emphasized this, though i also think (from my ideas of his childhood) that he was kind of always taught to put other people and other jobs at a higher priority than himself

nico dies first. i know i was just talking about them living long lives and i think that ends up being true, but also nico is a demigod child of hades and i think around his 30s would already be way longer than anyone would expect. anyway, i think that he dies first, simply because i cannot put that boy through any more, and i know i could say the same thing about will after having lost so much as well, but i think that the idea of nico being right at the entrance of the underworld by the river styx to welcome will once he dies (bc nico's the ghost king/prince of the underworld and isn't confined to elysium) is a very comforting thought

those are the main things i can think of right now just off the top of my head, but if there's any specific parts of canonverse that you'd like my thoughts about, feel free to ask! this didn't really cover a lot of like the general pjo/hoo timeline and it was mainly solangelo centric but likeee these are just things i thought of first! thank u for the ask!!

#wrongcaitlyn #pjo #will solace #nico di angelo #solangelo

[dearweirdme]

Responding to some of the comments from my last mole anon ask I'm not new to the group but I am new to the ship. I first started listening to the group around 2018 but watching stuff like Run and the festas a few yrs later and from that, I wouldn't have guessed taekook were dating or even one of the closest friendship. They seemed touchy yeah but i think that for the whole group tbh. It wasn't really until solo era that I started focusing more on fan stuff. I'd say before that I was more fo a casual fan who enjoyed watching the content but wasn't really desperate to see everything bts. Like I knew the basics and the memes but never really was inclined to delve any further and my knowledge of shipping was mostly critical. I did see some of the narratives in the backlash to shipping such as taekook being less close than other members and with (what I now know is edited) official content reinforcing that, it was much easier to believe that than a secret taekook love affair.

But Layover turned out to be one of my favorite albums because it was closest to my musical tastes and culture of music i grew up with and so I started hitting up twitter and specifically searching stuff up to discuss more about tae and his musical influences coz I thought he did such a great job with that album and had some real soul in it despite not being raised in that culture or country of that kind of music. And I think because of the algorithms and how popular taekook is that's when I started seeing my taekook posts pop up on my timeline and from a ship critical perspective, I brushed most of as delulu coz wlmy first exposure of ships being discussed in fandom was that it was weird and inappropriate to ship.

And the stuff that I did see out of morbid curiosity (and I admit it wasn't a lot at that time) just really validated the 'fake' accusations because it was all slow mo'd edits and taekook seemed to have 7 different anniversary dates according to the taekook stuff I read so it was seeming more like shippers were just trying to fit a circle onto a square hole or something. Plus I'd see people responding to those slo mo edits with the real time links and that made it seem even faker.

The I recently saw the mole video on twitter that brought me here and that was the first thing were I couldn't really rationalise it with a platonicary answer because one of the first things I can remember doing in a relationship is laying in bed counting and mapping each others marks and freckles.

So that to me seemed just highly romantic for a couple of bros.

Except I lost the video on twitter so I tried YouTube to find it, nothing. Searched the Internet on general, nothing and I ended up stumbling across this blog. I think I discovered while browsing after seeing a response to an ask that I thought sounded fair enough a d really kinda middle ground for a shipper. It was framed as like 'idnk for sure but here's what I think' and after looking for the link and coming across people who were more definitive in their theories and stuff, I thought somewhere like here would be the best place to ask for the info.

Because at that point, shipping didn't have any good associations to me and I wasn't really comfortable with my own speculation that the mole vid was leaving me with but I also couldn't stop second guessing my own first reaction to deny, deny, deny and make an excuse for it.

So my intentions really were to post here, get a link to the vid, watch it again and be like 'oh yeah, that's been blown out of proportion. No ships sailing here' like I had when people sent those real time links in response to ship edit videos.

(Except we all know what happened next)

While waiting for a response which came pretty quickly, I was looking up for more info on taekook in general and was coming up with mostly horse shit but I was also noticing the more reasoned stuff now that I was actively looking for it.

And in the response, DWM mentioned and tagged the taekook timeline which really topped off me taking a second look at the ship because again it was presented as kinda 'this is what I think, beware, I could be just high on delusional and this whole post could be wish fulfilment but here's what happened and what I think' and angles like that I can appreciate because I find it way more trustworthy than someone presenting a theory as fact which is what it felt like taekook lyves was doing a lot of, imo.

The timeline really sealed the deal for me, tbh, because seeing all their interactions in one place and running on concurrent really blew the hinges off the 'distance' narrative.

Which lead me to the ultimate question which I think is the fossil fuel that taekook sails on; what's with all the fucking secrecy and what's bighit hiding??

Because to me and with the timeline on front of me there was no distance on their distant relationship.

And so I've recently started a rewatch of some of their biggest hits. Like I started with bon voyage and I'm kicking myself and wondering why I didn't consider stuff like the room choosing situation in Bon Voyage Morrocoo or Malta wherever they were, more closely. I can't even explain why I just took it at face value as a joke because looking back JK made it so damn obvious.

And I started noticing the subtleties of their touching and the lack of space. I think part of me started reqatching the BV and Run episodes to be kinda proven right that there was nothing more to the ship and I was being delulu but the more I watch, the more Im starting to notice and those fossil fuel questions keep popping up in my mind.

And as a logical creature who said taekook isn't real when I couldn't see anything proving it, I can't then refuse to consider the possibility that it might be real now that I'm seeing stuff that I consider legit proof or support of a relationship.

As for theories, I don't want it to come across like I'm acting smarter or more superior than anyone else because I think everyone is working off theories even the people who don't believe in it because none of us know these guys or their lives but I don't like when theories are pushed as fact or manipulated or framed as the only possible conclusion to a question. Like could I make another theory as to why taekook ate mapping out each others moles, yeah, course I could but based on my own experience perception and no real clear arguement otherwise etc---the romantic reason is still the strongest supported to me.

So I don't have anything against theories just the way they're framed.

So yeah I guess that's my looong (sorry) story about how I accidently became a taekook shipper.

Hi again mole anon!

It’s really nice to hear your story actually. I think skepticism is definitely a good way to get into this. Also, props to Kayla @taekooktimeline for documenting so well 💜.

#taekook #fandom shenanigans

[hiddenhearthwitch]

do u have any tips/advice on how to identify and separate intrusive thoughts vs anxiety vs coincidence vs ‘this a fucking sign from the gods PAY ATTENTION’ cause tbh i feel so alone and def fuckng insane :)

First of all sugs, you're not alone. 💚 I definitely struggle with intrusive thoughts and it can be a terrible struggle between a "sign" and "wow you're in a park of course you saw a bird". You're not insane, there's just a lot in the world and even inside yourself for one human brain to process. I'm going to try to break this up into intrusive thoughts + anxiety then into coincidence + signs because it feels easier to lay out that way. We'll talk magical and mundane ways to work through this. I'm sending you good vibes babes. 🤍✨

I constantly have to remind myself that thoughts are not facts and I shouldn’t believe everything I think.

Sometimes when I have an intrusive thought I visualize myself as this dope ass paladin and I literally fight my thoughts away? I just close my eyes and meditate and focus on being the strong person I want to be and slay my own dragons. Sometimes that’s too hard and I just picture All Might because he’s Best Dad, if you have a favorite character I would give it a shot.

Aromatherapy bracelets and necklaces can be super helpful as well. Medicinally speaking lavender, chamomile, and opium would be the most mentally easing. Magically speaking pine, oak, lavender, valerian root, and hawthorn are all great for stability/protection in my experience. 

I personally carry around a sachet of onyx, rose quartz, lavender, pine, and oak.

You can minimize the damage of intrusive thoughts with self-help. This includes being mindful in the wake of an intrusive thought. Don’t waste your time obsessing over why you had that thought or what it all means. I’ve noticed once I learned to get past asking, “why am I thinking this?” all the time they don’t weigh as heavily on me. You are not your thoughts.

Intrusive thoughts are kind of just like a really loud boombox to me. Usually, if I listen to music I can really get into I can quiet down the thoughts. For the past four months or so Nujabes has been amazing musician to turn too. This past month Modal Soul has been the album that helps the most. It usually takes me a full album to feel normal again and I feel albums give me more stability than a playlist but honestly do what’s best for you.

Compulsive behavior can manifest when you try to change who you are based on the intrusive thoughts you experience. Changing who you are and your reality because of a thought that isn’t necessarily rational is the worst way to go about it. Stop trying to change who you are so you can adjust to your thoughts. Try to think about yourself in a third person perspective, “what would (insert name here) do in this situation?” This might not work for everyone but it’s helped me out once I started noticing the patterns.

From a magical perspective I’ve noticed moonstone is the stone that helps me the most. However most of my intrusive thoughts are PTSD related and I feel like moonstone helps me because it’s also stabilizing and can help prevent dissociation. I do also really enjoy onyx, tigers eye, and rose quartz as well!

Learn to recognize the starting signs for your intrusive thoughts. When my intrusive thoughts begin, they usually start off pretty simple. It’s one thought that feeds into a bigger insecurity or fear. Once you can spot the first thought you can start fighting it.

On the focus of coincidence versus a sign:

If I'm unsure if it's a sign I ask myself why I'm looking for a sign or if my gods made it clear to me to look out for one. Am I in a turning point in my life? Do I know I need guidance? Did previous divination point towards a sign coming my way?

Sometimes coincidence is the sign. If you're trying to decide if you want a purple or green wedding fit and you're driving down the road and see a shit ton of purple cars. I would call that a sign. If it's something you're actively thinking about and then it's glaringly in your face - I read that as a sign.

I've personally asked my gods to send me a sign three times if they're trying to tell me something. So that way I know.

I also take into account where I am. For example: I tend to read falcons and hawks as a sign or general greeting from Freyja. I live five miles from a national park though - hawks are every where, if I'm looking I can pretty much always find one or two on the way to or from work. Not really a sign if it's just local ecosystem at play.

That being said - they can still be signs. It's one thing if a bird of pray is just sitting on a lamp post. It's another to see it sitting on my car or catching a snake right outside my window. Common things aren't always signs - it can just be the mundane. That's when it's important to think about how it appeared and how it made you feel. Intuition is a powerful tool.

Ask yourself how you're feeling. I know this is probably a typical response but I know I personally read into everything when I'm anxious. I will catastrophize. Anything and everything becomes a sign of impending doom, fear of failure, etc. It's important to be aware of your inner dialogue and feelings when looking for signs.

If divination is a strong suit for you, consider using your divination tools as a way to verify if something was or was not a sign.

This is 100% personal belief but if a deity comes to me in a dream I will always read it as a sign. My dreams with gods are far and few between but relationships with them run very deep.

I'm not sure if any of this really helped or made sense but I hope it did. Good luck on your endeavors friend. 💐

#asks #answered #witchblr #beginner witch #witch tips #witch community #beginner pagan

[charmercharm3r]

Open (Passionate)

YJI

Masterlist

wc: 11k (absolutely unacceptable tbh)

Synopsis: It was new, you didn’t expect anything more than what he gave you. You should’ve expected less.

warnings: smut, softdom!jeongin, idol!verse ??, minor corruption kink?, crying kink (can't think of the name), degrading names, oral, just uhh sexual explicit content, I'm getting lazy with these warnings and just write with no thoughts or idea how it’s gonna come out so you're in for a real treat with this one

Part 5 of my 8 part series based off the album, “It Was Good Until It Wasn’t” by Kehlani, where each member of Stray Kids will have a song dedicated to them and whatever toxic relationship I can come up with.

-

Sweat rolled down your neck as your sneakers squeaked against the glossy floors of the dance room. The music was on full blast, making the walls vibrate as your body contorted to the rhythm and beat. You needed to get your head on straight, there was no room for error, not when the first show of your overseas tour was only a couple weeks away. You needed to feel the bass in your chest the way you would on stage, in front of thousands of people. This wasn’t just some music show where you perform in front of other idols, but in front of fans and others who adored you— others who wanted to see you fail.

Your company didn’t pin their groups against one another, if they did it wasn’t because of any malicious intent from the other groups but purely for engagement purposes. Everyone was so welcoming and so keen on making you the best you could possibly be. The company was doing a workshop for its’ idols, pairing all of them together to see what you could learn from one another. The lack of female idols and odd numbering of the ones they did have had you paired with a member of Stray Kids, Yang Jeongin. 

He was kind, a good teacher, and maybe just a little bit awkward because you were the same age. With time, you started to grow on him. Jeongin started finding himself trying to catch you in the cafeteria, looking for you in the hallways, hoping to see when you’d scheduled to book one of the practice rooms for yourself. When he got your schedule down, he began bringing you coffee, sitting with you and chit chatting the way someone did to court. He was enamored by a member of the company’s newest girl group, he couldn’t stop himself from spending more time at work than usual— he was almost on Chan’s level.

Eventually, Jeongin worked up the courage to ask you on a real date when the both of you had the time. Granted, it didn’t last more than two hours because there were preparations for a comeback or costume fittings that needed to get done. But that didn’t make it any less fun.

He’d taken the liberty of preordering you a coffee at a shop down the street, taking it to go and enjoying a nice stroll with you through one of the forest-like pathways. When the two of you reached the end, you kissed him on the cheek, though rather close to his mouth that if Jeongin moved a centimeter to the left, you would’ve kissed him on the lips.

He was like a schoolboy all over again, excited by the smallest actions— figuratively and physically. His dick jumped when he felt your lips on his skin for the first time, it was all he could think about as he walked you back to the company building. And when he went home. And when he got in the shower. And when he tugged his half chubbed dick. And when he came all over the shower floor. And when he slipped a clean pair of boxers on in shame. Your lips were all his brain could imagine. Then when he was ready for sleep, he sent you a goodnight text and went to bed with your lips still on his mind.

Jeongin didn’t mean to fantasize about you, it just sort of happened. He thanked the heavens for pairing you two together during that workshop because now it gave him the chance to be seen with you and no one ask any questions.

After the kiss on the cheek, he got bolder, more confident now that he knew the feelings were mutual. “Running into you” by coincidence in the hallways became purposeful, he lingered for you in doorways, befriended your other members to keep tabs on where you were. There was a time where he didn’t see your name on the schedule for the practice rooms and went to ask the staff member in charge if maybe you’d just forgotten to write it down. When they told him no, he’d written his name down for the next available slot and called you, asking to practice with him. 

How could you say no? Jeongin was sweet to you, he gave you great pointers whether it be dancing or singing or stage presence, not to mention he was your superior which meant you didn’t have much choice. Though, he didn’t use his status against you. To him, you were equals and on a leveled playing field. You were grateful for him and genuinely enjoyed his company.

That same day, he’d kissed you on the lips, unable to hold himself back anymore. You were sat face to face in the middle of the dance room, Jeongin on his knees and towering over you. “You’re gonna do great no matter what. You’re being too hard on yourself,” he’d said, tucking a piece of hair that stuck to your sweaty face behind your ear.

“If I’m not, I lose. I can’t lose, not when I’m so close,” you whispered back.

“Then tell me where you need me. I’m here to help you.” Jeongin leaned in closer, his knees touching the outside of your thigh. Your eyes stared up at him, round and so full of innocence that Jeongin couldn’t stop himself from caressing your cheek. Your pretty pink lips were puckered, just asking to be kissed. He could smell the cherry lip gloss that made them look even more plump, dying to taste it for real. So he did, he used both hands to pull you into him. It was a close lipped kiss, one that was soft and not meant to feel sexual. It wasn’t, but you also didn’t want to stop. When Jeongin pulled away, you whined the smallest bit at the loss of his lips on yours. That only fueled his imagination.

The small kisses escalated over some time. The safety of being alone in the practice rooms turned into quick hallway smooches, a sneaky peck in the cafeteria when you thought no one was looking. Eventually, he invited you over. None of the other members were ever present when you came, or they were hiding away in their rooms. Nonetheless, you never saw them. Jeongin escorted you to his room as soon as you’d stepped foot in the door, had you laid on his bed in no time, just savoring your lips.

That was as far as it had gotten, just kissing. As much as he loved kissing you, the instincts inside him wanted more. However he didn’t want to scare you off, he really does like you. So those make out sessions fizzled out and you’d return home late into the night. As soon as you were gone he’d shove his shorts down just enough to free his throbbing dick and close his eyes, thinking about your lips kissing down his neck, leaving lipstick marks across his chest until you reached his cock. Maybe there’d be another lipstick stain around the base of it, evidence that you could take him so well. He’d cum incredibly fast at the thought, every time you’d leave him alone. 

It’s where you are now, still just kissing.

Your legs had finally given out on you, sending you falling to the wooden floors with a thump. The floor to ceiling mirror you faced made you want to puke, it was disappointing to see yourself completely out of energy and unable to keep going. How were you supposed to please the audience when you couldn’t even get through two hours of dance practice? You rolled onto your back, bringing your numb hands up to suppress the tears that wanted to fall.

Little to your knowledge, Jeongin was looking for you— and surprising to no one. He’d come across the dance room and peeked through the small window on the door just as you’d finished the number. He watched you sit in the ending pose for a few seconds, standing up straight and looking at yourself out of breath in the mirror before hitting the ground. You’d already toppled over before he could get the door open, unable to catch you in time.

You were too caught up in your thoughts and emotions to hear the door open and Jeongin call your name. The tears were never ending as he pried your hands from your face. He took a second to see how pretty you are when you cry, making doe eyes at you before pulling you into his chest and letting you sob. Jeongin cradled your upper body, sitting so that you could simultaneously lay into his lap. He’d said all the right things, had just the right timing, by the time you stopped crying he looked like your knight in shining airforce ones.

He was just so easy to be around, so easy to talk to that it made you want to spill every single one of your secrets to him. While he did everything he could to stop himself from doing exactly the same. So he just let you cry— for how long, he wasn’t sure. But by the end of it you felt dehydrated and lethargic, Jeongin opted to carrying you off the floor and letting you rest on the nearby bench while he grabbed you more water. When he came back, you were asleep. He swore he’d never seen you so beautiful before, at peace and worry-free. There was no way in Hell he was going to wake you up. He didn’t need to, you’d awoken a few minutes later to the feeling of him brushing his fingers through your hair. He didn’t feel you stir, “I could get used to this kind of treatment,” you whispered. 

“Drink,” he all but shoved the water bottle into your mouth without letting you sit up. He held it to your lips and held the bottle steady while you sipped on it. When you finished you scooted up the bench to lay your head in his lap and look up at him. His slender fingers drifted from your hair to your cheek, gently caressing as he smiled back down. “What’s happening in that pretty little head of yours?” Jeongin asked after a few moments of you two silently appreciating one another’s company.

You hesitated answering for a second, unsure if you should be discussing your feelings on debuting with your superior. “You can talk to me,” he pressed. The words of affirmation made you twist onto your side, facing your body towards him and nuzzling your head into the crook where his thigh met his waist. The soft material of his sweats and plush thighs made for the perfect pillow.

“Did you feel like this? Before you knew you how big your group would be?” Your voice was low, scared of anyone walking in and hearing you speak timidly about your impending career.

“Every day,” he answered, fingers carding through your hair again. Sighing, Jeongin leaned back against the bench and looked at the two of you in the mirror. Despite the moment being one that required him thinking with his head, his dick spoke louder. He couldn’t dig his mind out of the gutter where he pictured you in this position, kitten licking him through his sweats. How you’d palm him through the material, eventually dipping your hand in but still not beneath the boxers, how hard he’d cum under your touch.

“Does it get easier?” your sad voice broke him from the dirty thoughts.

“No,” his honesty made you peer up at him. “It never does. But it pays off eventually.” Your eyes were glossy, still not completely dry as they urged him to continue. “When you get that small moment of happiness, it all feels worth it.”

“I shouldn’t be complaining. You had it harder than me.”

“Don’t say that. It’s hard on anyone, just in different ways. If anything, you have it the worst. No one treats girls very nice. I’m proud of you.” The last four words really struck a chord with you, shooting out of his lap to gawk at him. “Shit— please don’t cry again. I didn’t mean to—“

Jeongin never got to finish that sentence. Your lips cut him off before he could. He blushed at the action, you initiating the kiss sending the blood rushing straight to his cock again. The relationship started off transactional, back at the workshop. He teaches you, maybe you teach him. What difference would it make now if you were to slip your hand up his thigh? Jeongin reacted all the same, thinking about you in ways that would make him the laughing stock of his friend group because he can’t look at you for two minutes without picturing you naked. Now, as you did just that— run your hand up his clothed thigh, give the muscle a light squeeze before letting just your fingertips trace the outline of his hardening bulge— Jeongin’s head went completely blank. His mouth dropped slightly open and you took the opportunity to slide your tongue in, running it over his. He gasped, finally finding strength to grip at your waist and tug you into his lap.

Readjusting and throwing one leg over him, you let yourself sit fully on top, cunt just hovering over where he wanted you the most. Your fingers found haven in his hair, gripping tightly at the base of his neck as his mouth ravished you. The kisses were sloppy, untrained only because of how eager he was, whereas you wanted to take your time. So you pulled away, Jeongin out of breath while you pulled his hair to expose his neck to you, reattaching your lips almost instantly while his eyes stayed shut.

You sucked gently at the skin, gliding your tongue soothingly over after and lightly blowing air on the wet spots. It made him shiver and goosebumps rise on his skin, hands tightening on your hips. Trailing your hands down his chest, you traced your fingers through the lines of his abs, pressing the tips into the muscle to feel him flex underneath you. He liked that, letting out the softest moan when your lips made their way to his collarbones. 

He was so close to heaven, taking in your scent and the way your body felt against his. But heaven got ripped from his hands too soon. You sat up, getting off of him and standing. His eyes shot open just in time to see you spreading his knees and fall onto your own. 

“W— what’re you doing?” He asked stupidly. 

“What’s it look like? Returning the favor,” you looked up at him through your lashes. Though your words implied something much more adult, the way you looked at him was almost innocent. Almost.

Jeongin forgot to respond when you pulled him in by the collar of his shirt, forcing him to lean down to kiss you again while your other hand untied the drawstring of his sweats. Feeling you tug at the waistband, he confusedly replied, “I never did any favors for you, though?”

You shook your head, “you do.” You let go of his shirt, softly pushing his chest to lean back. “You help me practice,” both hands came to the waistband of his pants, “you help me with singing,” pulling them down to his ankles, “take night walks with me.”

You kissed the inside of his knee, kissing up his thigh painfully slow that his breath hitched in his throat. “You’re so sweet to me, Jeonginnie.”

It felt all too real when he could feel your breath centimeters away from his cock, only his underwear acting as a barrier. He breathed harder now, anticipating what you were to do next as you kept telling him pretty things. “Letting me cry to you about anything and everything. Is it because you like when I cry?” The question was so out of place, but so perfectly timed.

You caught him.

Jeongin let his head fall back, eyes screwing closed tighter as your hands trailed back up just to stop at the underwear’s elastic. “Yes.”

“Do you want to be the one to make me cry?” He could feel you slowly lifting the waistband, not touching his skin.

When he didn’t answer, too entranced by your body heat and words, you pulled his underwear down further. He lifted his hips so you could take them off him, but sat back down when he realized you weren’t going to just yet. “Talk to me, Jeonginnie.” You voice was still so normal, almost as if you were playing with him. 

“Y— yes.” He couldn’t look at you. If he did, he was sure he’d cum right then and there.

However he was relieved when you didn’t make him, humming and tapping his hip to lift so you could take off the undergarment. His cock sprang and slapped against his lower stomach, muffled by his t-shirt. Your hands pulled his calves closer, bringing his butt to scoot towards you.

You let out a small gasp, “oh, wow Jeonginnie. You have such a pretty cock!” He bit his lip hard to keep from moaning at the compliment, almost drawing blood.

The tip of his cock was an angry red, already leaking precum as it throbbed. He could really feel the heat of your breath now, so warm and inviting. Jeongin gripped at the edge of the bench, knuckles turning white. You blew again lightly on the head, smiling as his stomach contracted and dick twitched in self restraint. You giggled, “mmm. Can I taste?” His eyes snapped open to see you licking your bottom lip, already swollen from kissing him. You bat your eyelashes at him, waiting patiently for his consent. “Yes.”

Again, you kissed up his bare thighs, sitting up on your knees to hover over his aching cock. Jeongin watched with his eyes half lidded, doing everything he could not to buck his hips up. He failed when you finally got to his length, gently taking hold of it and standing it up so you could press a single kiss to the head. Giggling again, you pushed his hips back into the seat with your free hand. Sighing, Jeongin did his best to relax into your touch. 

Then finally, you licked a stripe up the center of his cock, making Jeongin throw his head back again and let out an embarrassingly loud moan. He forced his eyes open now, watching you spit into your hand to grab hold of his cock again. You held him tightly, but pumped him at another painfully slow pace. Anchoring yourself to him by his thigh, you sunk your mouth onto his cock, hollowing out your cheeks as you took in as much of him as possible. He was incredibly hard and so, so hot to the touch.

“God, I’ve wanted this for so long,” he whispered, not meaning to speak his thoughts out loud.

Pulling off him with a pop, you responded, “keep talking, baby. How long?” Instantly you engulfed him again. Your tongue swirled around the tip, occasionally pressing into his slit and tasting his bitter-salty liquid.

“Ever since— fuck!— The workshop,” he stuttered as you traveled down to suck on his balls, sucking them in and pushing them lightly with the muscle in your mouth, not stopping your hand pumping his length.

“Mmm, fantasized about me for that long?”

He finally had his spasming hips under control, only for you to pinch the flesh on his inner leg near his dick. “Ah! Fuck, don’t do that! I’ll cum,” Jeongin grabbed onto your hand. Stopping the ministrations to his balls but still pumping his cock, you looked up at him, guiding his hand onto the back of your hair. “Make me cry first.”

Such a devilish smile, even more hellish words, he couldn’t resist. You pulled your hand from his cock and placed them both behind your back, wrapping your lips just around the tip and swirling your tongue again. He wasn’t sure what you meant, but then you bobbed up and down, taking so much of him in your mouth that you gagged— and god, did he love the sounds you made.

Gripping harder onto your hair by the roots, Jeongin started guiding you up and down his cock. You hollowed your cheeks as tightly as you could, letting him use you.

He doesn’t know how you did it, but you somehow managed to firm your tongue, letting it be the primary source for slick as he began pushing and pulling harder on your scalp. It was an accident, but Jeongin pushed too hard and made your mouth hit the base of his dick and cause for you to gag again. The vibrations from your throat ran all through his body like electricity. He wanted to do it again and again and again.

So he did. He firmly planted both feet on either side of your body and both hands into your hair to hold you steadily above his cock. Raising his hips testingly, Jeongin thrusted into your mouth, seeing how deep in your throat he could hit. When you gagged a third time, he knew he was going to do exactly what you asked; make you cry.

The grip on on your head got tighter somehow as he thrusted into your mouth harder, faster. You couldn’t stop your gag reflex but he didn’t give you enough time to fully contract your throat around him before he pulled out and pummeled into you again. Wet sounds and lewd gags filled the dead space of the practice room, barely muffling Jeongin’s pants and groans.

He was such a sight to behold, forehead matted with sweat and veins in his strong arms protruding as his eyes fixed on where he lost himself in your mouth. His jaw hung slack and his own tongue poked at the inside of his cheeks that were flushed pink. You couldn’t look away and that only made him go harder, seeing your doe eyes starting to well up. And when you finally closed them, the tears fell. They didn’t stop falling, Jeongin’s cock hitting the back of your throat repeatedly finally had you crying. He loved every second of it, as did you. You finally broke, just wanting to please him and make him cum. No other thoughts in your head except for him. You whined loudly around his cock and that made him shoot his load straight down your throat. He held your head buried to the hilt against him, nose pressed into his pelvis as you tried to swallow every bit of cum he gave you. But you couldn’t, there was just too much and your mouth was so full of his cock that it dribbled out the corners of your lips and down your chin.

Jeongin let out a big sigh, slumping against the seat and pulling you from his softening cock. He almost got hard again at the sight between his legs. Your hair was a mess, eyes red and puffy with makeup running down your cheeks. His cum covered the entire lower half of your face, he couldn’t stop himself from smearing it around with his fingers.

Without taking his eyes off you, he blindly reached for his phone, opening the camera app. “Can I?” He asked. You nodded, head still blank.

He took a few, first just you looking up at the camera. Then one with his hand under your chin, another with his thumb pressing against your cum covered lips, and lastly swiping some of the cum up and making you suck it off his fingers. The thought of using the pictures later to jack off to made his dick jump again, but he was too spent to keep it up.

You still sat between his knees, waiting for him to tell you what to do next. “So beautiful,” he murmured, leaning down to kiss you even though you were covered in him. He could taste himself, not that he minded much— he couldn’t when his head was so clear but so full of you.

When he broke the kiss, Jeongin hiked his pants up and ran across the room to grab wipes from the cabinet to clean you with. It was a nice gesture, however you were aching now, too, pressing your legs together tightly as you were still knelt on the floor. He noticed this, smirking.

“Stay over tonight.” The suggestion made your eyes widen. It was already risky leaving his dorm so late into the night, but leaving in the morning when all of the other members would be awake to see? Forget the members— the general public would be up to see you leaving his house in yesterday’s clothes. “Just for tonight,” he pressed, “I want you to stay.”

“But what if we get caught?” You kept your voice low, still afraid of passerbyers even though the noises he was making earlier was absolutely louder than this conversation.

“We won’t. I won’t let it happen.” You hardly needed any more convincing.

That was the first night he’d fucked you. It was done as quietly as possible, which even then he was sure Minho next door would have something to say about it at work the next day. Even still, Jeongin lived up to more than expectations, keeping your tears running for hours. 

Minho did— “next time, put a sock behind the bed frame. I’d rather not hear you going at it against the wall I sleep against.” This got him more teasing from the rest of his group when word spread between them the youngest was now bringing people over.

“When’d they leave? I didn’t hear anything last night?” Felix asked as the eight of them stretched in the same practice room.

“Erm, probably—“ Jeongin glanced at the clock, “twenty minutes ago?” The group erupted into chaos, Jeongin only caught pieces of questions asking who it was and how were they going to lock the door without the passcode. Rest assured, he’d given you the door code before leaving.

By now, you were supposed to leave for tour in one week. Since that first fuck, Jeongin took you anywhere he could, bathrooms, practice rooms, vocal rooms, janitor closets, your bedroom, his bedroom. The options were limitless with him. He didn’t even need to go out of his way to look for you anymore, somehow you always found each other. No one outside of your two groups knew about the little thing happening between you, but he didn’t try to hide it. Your two groups became closer friends, exchanging numbers and getting lunch together when possible. It was the closest thing to a relationship Jeongin proposed, never breaking that friendly barrier when he was in public— by public, meaning the company— with you. He still had your routine down by heart, still lingered the halls for you, but now it was because he had more than an infatuation. Jeongin was obsessed.

So much so that it was to the point he was fuming when you reminded him you were to leave in a few days, and for such a long period of time. That’s what made him start to pace around your bedroom as you laid out clothes onto your bed to be packed away.

“You can’t leave me now!” he exclaimed from

the foot of your bed. “I need you here.”

“I’m not missing this tour because you can’t go two months without getting your dick wet,” you retorted, not looking at him.

“It’s not about the sex—“

“Like hell it’s not about the sex,” you raised your voice slightly, causing him to stop in his tracks. “That’s all you ever wanted from me in the first place.”

Jeongin furrowed his eyebrows, limbs going numb in disbelief. “How could you say that?” he whispered, hurt. It was true he’d imagined you in his bed thousands of time before you were actually there, but it didn’t change that he cared about you as a person.

“That’s what it feels like.” The clothes were uninteresting now that you’d opened this can of worms with him. You could see his cheeks tinting as the gears began to click.

“Does it still feel like that?“

“Yes,” you said without hesitation.

He strode over to you, kneeling next to your bedside and taking your hand. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

Tears started to sting at your eyes, the bottled emotions and stress catching up. “I didn’t want to bother you.”

Jeongin was at a loss for words. He couldn’t fathom

the idea he made you feel so worthless. “I’m sorry I made you feel like that,” was all he could think to say.

His words made you pull your hand away and step off

the other side of the bed. Looking at you confused, Jeongin stood up. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

You unconsciously wiped the hand he was holding on your lounge pants, “you didn’t deny it.”

“Did you just wipe me off—“

“You. Didn’t. Deny. It,” you repeated, sterner this time. He was so helplessly confused at your sudden anger. So he tried to stay composed, “deny what? Wanting to have sex with you?”

“No, Jeongin. Only wanting me for sex.”

“I’m lost. If I wanted to, I could’ve fucked anyone, but I didn’t want to. You initiated the sex stuff with me first,” the words stunned you for a second. Seeing the confusion, he continued. “The first blowjob in the practice room? Was that not you making the first move?”

“I’m going to ignore you inflating your own ego by acting like I should be grateful you ’chose me’ because I’m not. Are you saying it’s my fault I feel like this?” The tears wanted to fall. But you wouldn’t let yourself, he’d enjoy seeing you cry. It would mean he’s won, and you’ll be damned if you let him win.

Jeongin felt himself getting angrier, why weren’t you understanding him? Why were you mad when he was clearly right? Does he not remember the events correctly? Because the pictures of you covered in his cum proves otherwise. But still, you were even more upset now that he’d brought that up.

“That’s not what I meant,” he tried to stay rational.

“Then what did you mean?” You didn’t wait to come up with a response. Even though you were running on impulse, it didn’t lessen your feelings, they were completely valid. He didn’t try to hide his sexual attraction to you, but he didn’t try to prove it was something other than that as well. But how were you to tell him that?

“I— I don’t really know. But either way, you were the first one to start.” He was caught in a corner, solely putting up a fight because he didn’t want to be wrong. 

“And that makes the way I feel wrong?”

“I never said it was wrong!” He yelled now, frustrated that you’d just kept pushing him and pushing him.

“But you don’t understand why I feel this way?” Your tone was mocking, only making him even more mad. “Jeongin, I feel like a fucking booty call. And I can’t escape it because you’re always there—“

“Do I not treat you right afterwards, though? I always clean you up and get you water.” It was a shitty excuse, he knew that. This was just an argument he wasn’t giving up without a fight. 

You shook your head, balling your hands into fists. “It’s not about the goddamn aftercare, for fuck’s sake! You only find me when it’s about work or sex. There’s nothing else I’m good to you for, apparently!”

“I’m busy with work! You know that, you’re in the same position.”

“But here you are, telling me I’m not allowed to go on tour because you ’need me.’ Right? If you're too scared of commitment just say so! I'm over this.” You got him there. He did say that, and now there were no more excuses. Jeongin fell silent. “I can’t breathe around you.”

So many thoughts raced through his head, but not a single one was enough to form the pain he felt in his chest. He knew he was wrong, but the need to prove himself right was too great, even if that meant hurting you. Even the obsession with you and your entire being wasn’t enough to overpower that. Because that’s what you were to him— an obsession, something that could happen to anyone and be about anything.

“I’m going. So you tell me—“ you walked around the bed and stood in front of him. Jeongin towered over

you, something you usually loved because it made you feel small and safe. But right now, you feel powerless. “Tell me to go. If you ask me to stay, I might do it. Jeongin, I need you to tell me to go.” The anger within him dissipated. The realization of what he wanted and what he has made him dizzy. Maybe you were right, the space might be good for you and him both. Maybe because you were there with him every day, he thought what he was feeling was more than infatuation.

But the way his heart pounded at the thought of you being away for so long, it hurt. Conflicted, he said the only thing he could think of, “I… I lo—“

“Don’t say you love me.” You shook your head, looking down at your feet because if you looked at him when he said those three words, you’d let him win.

It was a shitty move, a crap shoot at power dynamics when he reached down and cupped your chin to make you look at him. Your eyes were one blink away from letting the dam break. “I love you. Please, don’t go. I want you to stay.”

You didn’t let it. Backing away from him and his touch, you forced your eyes to stay open and not let a single tear fall. Jeongin dropped his hands to his thighs, jaw slightly loosening, eyebrows furrowing and heart falling into his stomach.

“You’re so selfish.” Turning your back on him, you walked to your bedroom door and opened it. He stood in the middle of your room with no more excuses and no more reasons to get you to stay. When you looked back at him, the look of defeat littered his face. “You said it yourself,” you sniffled. “You could fuck anyone you want. So go fucking do it.”

“You know I don’t want that,” he tried to reason. But you’d made up your mind.

“You don’t know what you want. Go figure it out. You’ve got two months.”

“Y/N, please. Don’t make me leave like this.” Jeongin stepped towards you, reaching for your face to caress but you looked away. His touch would’ve completely broken your walls.

Without looking at him, anywhere but him, you let one tear roll down your cheek. In a whisper, you said, “I can’t breathe. Please… Leave.”

Jeongin backed away just a step, taking in the sight of you in what is supposed to be a comforting place where he’s had you so many time and in a much different situation. He’s decided to do as you said for once and go. Before he fully step through the door, he faced you again. “I do… love you.” When you didn’t respond, he left. 

As soon as you heard the front door shut, you fell to your knees, sobbing. You didn’t hear through the pounding of your heart in your ears that one of your group mates came, crouching next to you and letting you cry into her embrace. 

The day you were supposed to leave for the first stop of tour was the hardest. You didn’t cry at the airport, but as soon as you were able to get up and use the restroom on the flight, you bawled into crumpled up toilet paper, thanking the engines for being loud enough to drown you out.

Though, it did get easier. The shows went off without a hitch. Of course, you were the queen of self criticism despite the cheers and encouraging words you got from fans and staff and your other group members. It wasn’t until only a few shows were left of the tour did you remember the situation you were to come home to. Why did you have to befriend your coworkers and why did you have to give them your phone number? Because now, Hyunjin’s name was lighting up your phone.

He’s being a fucking idiot. I’d rather you hear it from one of us.

Attached was an image of a pair of panties tangled between what you knew were Jeongin’s bed sheets. You’d been wrapped up in them so many times, it was unmistakable.

If he asks, you definitely heard it from me. Here for you &lt;3

Hyunjin’s kind words made it feel as though you had allies, friends in a place that was notorious for fakeness.

“What a manwhore.” The eldest of your group, Sua, exclaimed from over your shoulder.

“Can't blame him, it's exactly what I told him to do,” you admitted.

“You should do the same.” She nodded, smiling mischievously.

Locking your phone, you tossed it onto the bedside table of the hotel room. “Who would I be doing it for? Him? Not like he’d care anyways.”

“I guess you’re right. It would be nice to get revenge, though. Make him see what he’s missing.” She laid her head on your shoulder, holding your hand comfortingly.

“He’s not missing me.”

Sua hummed, “that’s not what I heard.”

This made you sit up, look at her confused. “What do you mean?”

“Seungmin was worried about him so he asked me what was happening between you two. I told him about that night and he might’ve spilled that Jeongin kind of…” she trailed off, bringing her hand to her mouth to stifle a laugh. You nudged her ribs. “Seungmin was at their dorm when Jeongin brought a girl over and he said your name.”

You were confused. “…Okay?”

“He said your name. During the deed. Your name.”

“When was this?”

“Literally yesterday! It’s probably that same girl’s panties.”

The idea of him being with another girl made your stomach churn in anger. You had no right to be mad, he was just doing what you told him to do. But even so, you wanted to claw your heart out of your chest. “It doesn’t matter. You heard what he told me that night. If he really did… love me… he wouldn’t have slept with anyone else in the first place. I'm too open with him for him to be open with me.”

“Y/N!” Sua stood on her knees, taking hold of your shoulders and shaking you. “Clearly, your pussy is so good that he’s thinking about it thousands of miles away. If that isn’t love then I don’t know what is.”

“I think you’re the one that needs dick. You’re talking like a crazy person,” you laughed, bringing her back down to sit. “We aren’t even dating. I never expected him to stay loyal… or whatever it is that we were doing.” Sua pulled you to lay your head in her lap, comfortingly brushing your hair from your face. “It still hurts, though.”

“That’s it. We’re going out.”

You were in no position to argue with her. That’s how you ended up at a club, hiding your face behind a mask but wearing the skimpiest outfit you brought overseas. Somehow you’d both managed to leave the hotel without alerting your manager. A cute boy bought you and Sua drinks, brought you to the dance floor and offered you a good time. Sua gave you the okay to bring him back to your hotel room. It was fun, truth be told. But it was unfamiliar, it didn’t feel like him. Still, it made you forget. Even if only for the night. When you were through with him, you asked him to leave before getting in the shower and washing off whatever disgusting cologne you were drenched in, it was sickening. 

The clock in your hotel room read 3:30 a.m., but you weren’t sure what time it was back home. You still hadn’t responded to Hyunjin, deciding now was as good a time as any. 

Don’t worry, I'm coping. Appreciate you, though &lt;3

You pulled your sleep shirt down just enough to expose the reddening hickey whatever-his-name left just below where your bra would sit, taking a picture not showing your face or cleavage and sending it to Hyunjin. That was for sure getting back to him.

Sure enough, it did.

He blew up your phone an hour later. You’d settled on muting his contact all together and turning off your read receipts. Of course you were going to look at what he sent you, you just had to see the hypocrite in him show itself in writing.

Unlucky for you, he admitted to it. Though most of the notifications from him were missed calls. He only sent a few texts, saying how sorry he was and that he was going to wait for you at your dorm.

Don’t, was all you sent back during the days leading up to your coming home.

You were tired, drained, but still fulfilled from being able to see and spend time with so many people who supported you. At least he was right about one thing, all the pain and tears were worth those few moments of happiness. The happiness was taken from you too soon.

Jeongin sat on the edge of your bed, eyes sunken and hair in disarray. He stood as soon as you opened the bedroom door, straightening out his t-shirt and gym shorts. 

“Are you blind, too? I told you not to come here,” you muttered, closing the door behind you and rolling your suitcase into the corner of the room.

“What do you mean ‘too?’” Whatever he was planning to say once he saw you disappeared completely from his brain. He had a whole speech planned out, he was going to tell you how he couldn’t go through with sleeping with that girl and how he deserved the bad karma when you were with another man. However it didn’t seem like you were in the mood for the clearing of his existential crisis.

“Don’t worry about it. I can’t be bothered to deal with your hurt feelings.” Your tone was cold, colder than Jeongin’s ever heard and sure as hell has never been on the receiving end of.

“Say it, don’t hold back now.”

Dropping your backpack from your shoulder and letting it fall to the floor, you stepped around him nonchalantly, as if he wasn’t even there. “You really are a manwhore. I knew you couldn’t keep it in your pants. Remind me next time to never take anything you say seriously.” Jeongin watched you unload miscellaneous items, not bothering to look at him while you insulted him.

“I didn’t sleep with her,” he tried to defend himself.

“No, you were just casually moaning my name in the middle of the night because what, you missed me?” You threw down whatever was in your hands and stood tall before him. It was the most confident you’d felt about yourself in front of him, not wanting to show how badly he’d hurt you. “Yeah, I did.”

He took a step closer to you, reaching for your hand but pulling away. “I missed you a lot. I didn’t sleep with her. Got my dick sucked, sure, but no sex.” If he is anything, Jeongin is honest, you’ll give him that. It doesn’t make his infidelity hurt any less.

“You really do have a way with words, don’t you?” Noticing you cringe, he looked down at his feet, trying to think of something to say that would make you see he really was trying.

“It wasn’t good head,” he admitted shyly, kicking his feet at the floor. You laughed loudly, throwing your head back and running an exasperated hand through your hair. He couldn’t tell if you were laughing because it was funny or if you were making fun of him. Either way, the situation made him crack a smile, just happy to hear your laugh again. “I didn’t even cum. As soon as I said your name, I realized I didn’t even ask for hers and didn’t want to. Asked her to leave and went next door to sleep on Chan’s couch. Kinda pathetic, to be honest.”

Your laughter died down as you remembered that you were supposed to be mad at him. “That is pathetic,” the smile dropped from your face, his too as you sat on the edge of the bed. Jeongin followed you quickly, sitting beside you.

“I don’t blame you for sleeping with someone else,” he said softly, hoping you would just look at him.

You didn’t as you replied, “I was never sorry. Don’t try to make me feel bad, I already did enough of that before I left.”

The events of the night he last saw you came rushing back to the forefront of his memory, making him wince at the way he’d treated you. It made sense to him eventually, after talking to Chan and Changbin about it, Jeongin understood why you felt the way you did and wanted to make it better. “You treat her like she’s a secret to hide. If you really like her, cut the shit. Otherwise she’s gonna find someone else to treat her how a girlfriend deserves to be treated,” Changbin had told him only after getting a much louder and vulgar earful minutes beforehand.

Jeongin scooted off the bed, falling to his knees in front of you. “You’re worth so much more to me than just sex. I’m sorry I didn’t get that earlier.”

It was an unusual sight, Jeongin on his knees with eyes big and pleading for you to listen. You almost gave in. “Then why bring her home at all? You know she left her panties in your bed, right?”

“What?!” He almost yelled, making you shoot your eyes up at him, startled. “I didn’t even take them off her!” You were just as confused as he was. You knew he was a clean freak, always making sure dirty clothes went in the hamper and nothing was left out of place. Every time he’d get into bed he made sure to change out of his outside clothes, ultimately extending so that he made sure you did too. “Oh my fucking god, I’m going to kill Minho,” he said after a minute of filling in the mental blanks. You raised an eyebrow at him to continue. “Stupid of me to assume he’d fuck in his own room, right? Karma or whatever.”

The laughter that echoed through your room was one that Jeongin had missed dearly, a sound you didn’t think he’d be the cause of. He laughed with you, not taking his eyes off you for a second. His heart skipped a beat when you leaned forward and let your head fall into your lap, bumping lightly against his. Even just the littlest bit of contact, he felt his whole body tingle— dick included. The teeniest bit of affection made it harden to half a mass. 

Jeongin couldn’t help but breathe in your scent again, reaching up to gently pat your hair as the laughter died down. Sitting up slightly, you were face to face with him again, so close you could feel his breath on your cheeks. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss him, too. The proximity after being gone for so long from him made you stare at his lips, so pink and pretty while he searched in your eyes. “Let me make it right,” he said, holding a hand out to cup your cheek. You let him, feeling sparks beneath his fingertips wherever he touched.

Time felt like it skipped when you leaned in to kiss him again, pulling him up so he sat tall on his knees and flushed against your chest between your legs. It fast forwarded to the part where you were both already naked and spread out on the bed, Jeongin’s lips greedily attached to your neck.

You wriggled under him, breathing heavily as he held both your hands pinned above your head with just one of his hands. His free one tweaked your nipple, making a whine slip from your mouth. He nipped and kissed down the column of your throat before pulling back and examining your chest. It was still lightly bruised from the other man. Worried, your eyes snapped open to see why he’d stopped. The grip he had on your wrists tightened, eyeing the one particularly prominent mark you’d sent a picture of to Hyunjin.

“Jeonginnie?” You said quietly. It was just the way to rile him up, innocent and breakable.

“Did it feel good?“ His tone dropped, deeper than you’d ever heard it even before, eyes not straying from the mark.

It made the aching between your legs hurt more, your hips bucking up slightly to look for friction to ease yourself. But no luck, Jeongin pulled his body from yours, leaving you cold but still bound by the wrists. “D— did what feel good?”

“When he touched you. Did he make you feel the way I do?” His free hand traced a fingertip up the center of your belly, skipping over your chest and tapping timidly at your throat.

“N— no! Only you make me feel good.” He liked that answer, wrapping his hand around your neck and squeezing just enough to get you to whine. Bending down, he kissed you again, much more forceful and dominating than he usually was.

Pulling away, Jeongin released your neck, moving his kisses from your lips to trail down the center of your chest. He didn’t like seeing you covered in marks that weren’t his. He also didn’t like the idea of you fucking another guy, but he couldn’t fault you either way.

He ran his hand down the center of your chest, lips following and stopping between your breasts. However his hand kept going, just barely grazing your mound. You could see the frenzy behind his eyes, not moving from the mark that wasn’t his even though his hands seemed to be moving on their own. He readjusted himself and slotted his knees between yours, spreading his own that made you expose your center. When you gasped at the cold air hitting your heating core, he shot just his eyes up to look at you through his lashes, smirking at the way your jaw hung open and sticking his long fingers into his mouth. Teasingly swirling his tongue around them, Jeongin leaned in to press all his body weight onto the hand still keeping you bound with your arms above your head. Dipping his head down to lick over the hickey, two of his now wet fingers slicked through your folds, making you bite your lip and kick your head back. Closing his eyes and concentrating on your cunt, he whispered against your chest, “be mine.”

You weren’t sure if he meant to say that out loud, so you ignored it and focused on his hands toying with your clit. Jeongin nibbled on the faded bruise, sucking exactly where the other man did, only much harder and with a very different intent behind it. You mewled and arched your back into his hand, wriggling to get more friction from him. But every time your hips rose, he pulled away, only giving you what he wanted to give.

“Please, need more,” you managed to say. Both your eyes opened at the same time to look at one another. Not stopping his fingers, he held eye contact.

“Be mine,” he said again, louder now. The stimulation made it too hard for you to answer, biting your lip harder.

Jeongin smirked to himself, loving the way you just couldn’t think with his hands on you. So without warning, he slipped two fingers into your hole, watching the way the dark hickey deepened and glistened in the soft lighting of your bedroom. You were his now, regardless if you answered him or not.

He slid his fingers in and out at a slow pace, enough for him to keep you wet but not enough to pull an orgasm from you, and it was getting painful. You planted your feet on the bed and lifted your hips, hoping it’d be enough incentive to get him to move faster. It backfired, he released your hands and pushed your hips down flat, adding a third digit. With the newfound freedom, you immediately went for your clit, rubbing it harshly and at a speed you knew would get you somewhere.

For a minute, Jeongin let you have your fun. He let you get yourself close and hold himself steady in you while your hips bucked into both your hand and his fingers. Your moans were muffled, biting your lip to keep your dorm mates from hearing how needy he made you. And he loved watching you work yourself into a sweat, only to not reach your tipping point because it just wasn’t enough. 

“Such a pretty little thing, aren’t you?” He whispered in your ear, nibbling gently on the lobe. “Can’t even get yourself to cum. Do you need help, little one?” He pushed your hips into the bed again, pumping his fingers in and out for a moment. You couldn’t respond, head so entirely empty.

He hardly needed to do anything to get you like this. A few words and a little bit of kissing and you were a puddle beneath his feet.

Even with your own hand rubbing furiously at your bundle of nerves and Jeongin’s curling his three fingers into you, you lost the high as soon as you thought you’d gotten close. You could feel him purposely missing the spot inside you that would’ve had you come at least twice by now. That’s when you realized he was messing with you, intentionally riling you up to get you to completely submit to him.

Your body stilled, hand flopping limp onto your stomach and breath unsteady as a single tear rolled down your cheek in exhaustion. Wiping the sweaty hair from your forehead, he laughed darkly and pulled his fingers from your throbbing cunt and popped them in his mouth. It wasn’t enough to feel full, but you still felt empty without him inside you.

“Aw, my little play thing,” he cooed mockingly, kissing both of your cheeks and then your lips softly. Jeongin sat back on his butt, the cool air hitting your naked body and making your eyes open to search for him. He smiled at you before crossing his right leg over his left and forcing it under your right butt cheek snugly. You scrunch your eyebrows at him, confused. But before you could question it, he kicked his right leg up and flipped you onto your stomach without a problem. Damn him and his dancer legs.

Immediately, he snuck himself between your legs again, chest pressed to your bare back as his knees spread yours again. Your face was buried in the pillow, gripping onto the sheets. He was flush against you, achingly hard cock pressing roughly against your butt. Placing chaste kisses down your spine and back up, he tossed your hair over one side and began to suck at the skin of your shoulder. As much as your core was burning, you couldn’t bring yourself to ask for more, and he seemed too lost in his own head to do anything about it.

But then, his hands lifted your hips and pulled them up so your core hit his cock, hard. It made both of you moan out, unexpectedly. Then he did it again harder, slamming you onto him without being inside you.

Your confusion left as quickly as it came, the impact of his solid yet strangely soft cock hitting your cunt repeatedly had your head whirling and stomach tightening. There was something so delicious about the the way it felt, feeling your core hit hard against his cock, it was something Jeongin had never felt before— neither have you. With every time he forced your hips away just to pull them in and rock against you, his balls would offer a secondary slap to your nerves, sending them into overdrive. Then he let out a moan, so guttural and from deep within his chest, your pussy gushed and coated the underside of his length.

You couldn’t get enough. Eventually, your hips started moving on their own, using the sudden arousal as lubricant to both slide your cunt up and down his hot cock and hit harshly back against him in an uncoordinated pattern. Jeongin let you work both you and him, sitting up and holding your hips but not moving, just admiring the way you moved. He relished in the feeling, taking in a deep breath and letting his eyes roll back. Your hips moved faster now, forgetting about slamming back and just rubbing yourself onto him, ankles trying to stay hooked into the crook of his knees for leverage.

Jeongin had to hold himself back from coming at the sight of you, morals completely gone.

“Look at you,” his voice was low, if you weren’t under him you wouldn’t have heard it. “You wanna cum so badly, don’t you? Using me like you’re a bunny in heat.” You couldn’t answer, getting closer to your high.

“Do it. Cum like this. Maybe I’ll fuck you so hard, you won’t want any cock besides mine.” It was so vulgar, so dirty and unsafe that you pressed even harder into him, not aware that was even possible. Back arching and pulling him in incredibly tight, you came, body tensing with your cunt still on his cock.

He rubbed his hand gently into your hips and butt, soothing you as you came back to earth. Just as your legs relaxed and unlatched from his, he pushed your hips down so you laid flat on your stomach. One of his hands found a hold on your shoulder, running down your arm to pull it back to steady himself. The other gripped his cock and smacked it a couple times over each butt cheek. You couldn’t see it, but you were sure your face was red and worn out as your eyes threatened to close. Even though he could only see one side of your profile, Jeongin noticed your tiredness as well. “Hey now, don’t forget about me. Do you want more, little one?”

At the promise of pleasure, you nodded and whined out. He chuckled, wiping the hair from your face and granting you another peck on your warm cheek.

Jeongin toyed with himself, collecting your arousal with his cock as he slid through your folds from behind. Needing more, he held himself at your entrance, engorged from dryly rubbing yourself on him with only your essence as lubricant. Your skin was so smooth and soft, Jeongin considered it a moment of weakness as he bent over to pepper more kisses along your back and up the back of your arm he still held at the wrist behind you. More sweet kisses across your shoulder blades and on your neck, in your hair and a last one on your cheek, he finally pushed into you, grip tightening on your wrist as he did so. He let out a heavy sigh, feeling so euphoric and welcome in your clenching pussy.

Whereas you’d never felt so full. You’d almost forgotten what it was like to have him so close and intimate, it made all your past arguments and issues melt away. “Fuck, I missed you so much,” he breathed, base of his cock meeting your ass. You could only moan in response. Reaching for your other hand that was gripping the pillow, he lifted himself to close your legs and rest his knees on either side of you.

With your hands bound by his, he used you to pull deeper into you, just barely rubbing your sweet spot with the head of his cock. When you whimpered out particularly loud, he moved both your hands to hold with only one of his and push your head further into the bed. “Shhh! Do you want your friends to know how much of a slut you are for me?”

He took his hand from your face to let you speak, “y— yes.”

Taken aback, Jeongin short circuited for a moment. Using his strength to pull you by your arms so he held your upper body midair, he came around the side of your face enough so you could meet halfway for a real kiss. It was incredibly sloppy and uncomfortable, tongues missing mouths and resulting in saliva coating each other’s cheeks. But it was your shared kiss. It was imperfect and it came from a place of excitement, the thrill of doing something so forbidden but worth it because it was with each other. It was your kiss, passionate.

Jeongin let you slump back into the bed, impatient with his cock still at full hardness inside you. You clenched, enticing him to move. Bracing your arms behind your back, he admired how much larger his hands were compared to yours. It only took one of his to keep you bound. But that's besides the point, he was balls deep in you, any further and they would’ve been sucked into your pussy as well.

He started slow, not pulling out all the way before pushing back in. But he easily found a rhythm, and was pounding into you in seconds. Your arms were going numb, but that only added to the immense pleasure you felt. With your legs pressed together tightly, it feels the same as when you are in public and suddenly become incredibly horny and you have to clench your thighs together to suppress it, except that only makes it worse because now your thighs and undergarments rub against the nerves. It feels even better now that Jeongin’s pounding into you and his balls slap your cunt with every thrust. Your arms going numb just gives you one less thing to feel and focus all your attention on him hitting your g-spot.

But his thrusts started to become shallow. He let go of

your hands, letting them fall to the sides of your body. Planting his weight on his arms on both sides of your head, Jeongin came in close to your face. “Wish you could see how beautiful you look right now,” he whispered, lazily kissing your cheek. “My pretty little slut. Aren’t you? You’re just my cute little cum dumpster. Wanna cum, fuck bunny?”

Every degrading name he called you made you shiver and clench down on him, so hard that it ripped another groan from him. “Yeah, you wanna cum, hm?”

“Yes! Fuck, yes— please— make me cum!” You cried out, louder than you’d ever done with your other members in the house. But you felt no shame. How could you when every one of your nerve endings were on fire, so intoxicated by his scent and overpowering body heat.

He hammered harder into you. Two months and an emotional roller coaster later, you were close to crying because of how sensitive you were. Then he pulled your hair, forcing your head up for another sloppy kiss. As soon as his lips met yours and your eyes closed, the tears fell, rolling to where your mouth collided with his and the warm, salty liquid filled his taste buds. It was an accidental outing of his newfound kink— though could it really be considered new if he’d

already admitted to enjoying seeing you cry? Tasting your tears, though, that was his last straw. 

Jeongin hit your spot again and again, letting his impulses get the best of him and slapping your ass in rhythm with his thrusts. The pain from his skin hitting yours was enough to send you over the edge again, tumbling head first into the strongest orgasm you’d ever had. You cried out again, pussy pulsating harder and tighter around his cock so that he stutter stopped completely sheathed in you, following you into his own ecstasy.

He stayed like this a moment, entire body weight crushing down onto you as he began to soften. But in return for being his human body pillow, he whispered sweet nothings into your ear, kissing whatever skin he could get his hands on. He told you things like, “did so well” or “you’re so gorgeous,” which wasn’t out of the norm for him after sex. He did always shower you in compliments, post nut clarity doing nothing but strengthening his immense attraction to you and it showed.

“Cum dumpster?” you laughed, eyes closing as he spread his body weight evenly on top of you. “That’s a new one.”

Jeongin stroked your hair, resting to lay his face opposite of yours on your shoulder and inhale the smell of your skin. “Too mean?”

“No. Got kinda dumb, didn’t register it until now.” It made you both laugh, him telling you he knows how easily he could fuck you stupid and you playfully threatening to cut his balls off.

It was peaceful, comfortable with him as you both laid in silence. There was something about just being filled with him that made you coerce him into staying snuggly fit despite him being completely flaccid. Jeongin couldn’t deny he enjoyed it. 

Though, the events replayed in his mind, stuck on two measly words that went unanswered. 

“Be mine,” he whispered, breaking you from your blissful trance.

You were already getting lost in his weight and exhaustion, too tired to think about the impending trouble that awaited when you both awoke. “Ask me that when you aren’t balls deep in me.”

Pleasure always follows pain, or is it the other way around?

-

A/N: round of applause I finally finished part 5!! My post-ly song rec (cus i seem to always have a song that inspires me to write) is “First Love / Late Spring” by Mitski!!! I cry listening to Mitski so everyone go cry with me.

Got some good ideas for part 6..drum roll..Seungmin!! teehee stay tuned and leave some feedback! It really does help me stay motivated to keep writing!!

-momo < 3

#stray kids fanfic #yang jeongin #I.N #yang jeongin smut #yang jeongin angst #yang jeongin fluff #yang jeongin fanfic #yang jeongin x y/n #yang jeongin x reader #yang jeongin x you #i.n smut #stray kids smut #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #skz smut #skz angst #skz fluff #It Was Good Until It Wasn’t #Spotify

[togrowoldinv]

Hey! Could you write a fic about nat x reader but using all to well (10 minutes version) lyrics as the plot? I've been thinking about this a lot and tbh your the only person that I think can do this perfectly.

All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Natasha’s Version)

Hey! Thank you so much for trusting me with this prompt! I felt it was best to go line by line and write this story. It’s in a different form than my other fics, but an explication of sorts felt like the best course of action for this fic. Enjoy!

Natasha Romanoff Masterlist 1, Natasha Romanoff Masterlist 2, Main Masterlist

I walked through the door with you, the air was cold

But somethin' 'bout it felt like home somehow

When you first met Natasha’s family, it was late fall and the first chill of the upcoming winter season lingered in the air. Even after she closed the door behind you, you shivered, and Nat pulled you into a hug. She was smiling and laughing as she held you close.

You felt like you were at home. Not just physically, but in your heart, you felt the contentedness of being home. Of being in love.

And I left my scarf there at your sister's house

And you've still got it in your drawer, even now

That was the day you met Natasha’s sister, Yelena, for the first time. She immediately felt like family. And when you left your warm garment there, she returned it to Nat. But Natasha kept it. She wasn’t sure why at the time, but it just made sense for her to keep it. She had forever to give it back to you, or at least she thought.

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze

We're singin' in the car, getting lost upstate

Autumn leaves fallin' down like pieces into place

And I can picture it after all these days

Natasha was so kind. Oh, she was so kind to you and affectionate. Her affection felt like a warm blanket fresh out of the dryer. Her affection made you feel real. It made you feel alive. You watched her drive down the road as she mindlessly sung along to the radio. You’re not sure if she even knew where she was driving. But you didn’t care. You only cared that a woman like her could be with a person like you.

And I know it's long gone and

That magic's not here no more

And I might be okay, but I'm not fine at all

The reminiscing you’re doing reminds you that the time has long passed. There once was a magic in the way you two fit together, but like every good magic trick there is a sense of logic that gets in the way. That ruins the illusion. You put up the illusion that you’re okay with that magic having faded, but really you’ve never been less okay.

'Causе there we arе again on that little town street

You almost ran the red 'cause you were lookin' over at me

Wind in my hair, I was there

I remember it all too well

You remember so vividly a time in a random town you drove through when Natasha simply couldn’t keep her eyes off of you.

“Pay attention to the road, baby,” you said, but you couldn’t help but smile at her.

“I’m paying enough attention, detka. Come here,” Natasha said with her beautiful smirk and alluring voice.

She wrapped her arm around you and kissed your cheek. The wind blew your hair around, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.

You felt free. You remember every moment of that drive.

Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turnin' red

You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed

And your mother's tellin' stories 'bout you on the tee-ball team

You taught me 'bout your past, thinkin' your future was me

Natasha was blushing, her cheeks a rosy red, as Melina showed you pictures from her childhood. You knew they were staged. Nat had told you before, but still seeing her so cute and little made you smile.

Melina told you of how Nat was such a creative kid. How she loved her sister fiercely and how she always knew she would survive whatever was thrown at her.

And you were tossing me the car keys, "Fuck the patriarchy"

Keychain on the ground, we were always skippin' town

On one occasion, Natasha let you drive her car. She jokingly threw her keys your way and you laughed at her goofiness. Looking back, you realize that she was always taking you around town. You thought it was to spend time with you, but perhaps it was to protect her own insecurity of losing you.

And I was thinkin' on the drive down, "Any time now

He's gonna say it's love," you never called it what it was

'Til we were dead and gone and buried

Check the pulse and come back swearin' it's the same

After three months in the grave

And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you

But all I felt was shame and you held my lifeless frame

You kept waiting for Natasha to tell you she loved you. It was love. To you, it was love. To Natasha, you weren’t sure what it was. In the last few months of your relationship, she told you she loved you. It felt wrong. Things were different.

You felt ashamed of your blind love for her. How could you not? She didn’t seem to notice the way your relationship changed. Was she that unaware of your feelings or her own? Either way, that last night you hugged her you know you didn’t feel much of anything. You were numb.

And I know it's long gone and

There was nothing else I could do

And I forget about you long enough

To forget why I needed to

It’s been a year. A whole year since your relationship ended. And when you think back on it, there’s nothing else you could’ve done. You know that.

In the beginning, you tried to forget Natasha. You deleted your photos. You deleted her number. You even went so far as to avoid any news about the Avengers. But then you would see her, or you would think of her. And god, did the memories rush back to you. The good times. The lovely times. The times you felt like the only two people in the world.

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night

We're dancin' 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light

Down the stairs, I was there

I remember it all too well

Natasha loved to dance with you. It would be late at night and she would take your hand and dance with you. The only light would be from the fridge and the moon. Natasha reminded you a lot of the moon. The way she pulled you in and pushed you away like the tides on the shore.

And there we are again when nobody had to know

You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath

Sacred prayer and we'd swear

To remember it all too well, yeah

Nobody knew how deep your relationship was. Of course, your friends and family knew about Natasha. And you had met her family and the Avengers. But something was off. She didn’t want you to go to public events with her. You believed her when she said it was for your safety.

Maybe that’s partially true. But you think she also just wanted to keep your relationship secret. And you wanted to tell the world, or at least the people who meant the world to you. In the moments where you brought this up, Natasha would tell you that your relationship was a sacred thing that you must protect. She would promise you that she will always remember it.

That she would always remember you.

Well, maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much

But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up

Runnin' scared, I was there

I remember it all too well

It was a Wednesday when it all fell apart. You had been on the brink of a relationship ending argument for a while. You felt like your feelings were valid, she never said they weren’t. But maybe you pushed her too far. Maybe you asked for a love she couldn’t give you.

Or maybe you were soulmates. Maybe you were soulmates who lost each other thanks to her unwillingness to fight. You were fearful for days after the big argument. She had changed your life. You won’t ever forget it.

And you call me up again just to break me like a promise

So casually cruel in the name of bein' honest

I'm a crumpled-up piece of paper lyin' here

'Cause I remember it all, all, all

Days later your phone rang with a call from Natasha.

“Are you okay?” her voice rang out. “Can I see you?”

You wanted to say yes, you really did.

“Natasha, do you honestly think we can make this work?” you asked her, holding back tears.

“I’m sorry,” she said before she hung up the phone.

You fell to the ground at her honesty. It felt cruel. It felt like you had been broken once again.

They say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new hell

Every time you double-cross my mind

You said if we had been closer in age, maybe it would've been fine

And that made me want to die

You think about Natasha all the time. Nothing felt right about the way you ended things. There was no closure. There was only pain.

You were younger than her and you both knew it. You never saw it as an issue, but Natasha blamed it for your problems. Age is just a number, you had remarked. She replied that was a naïve way to look at things. And you cried.

The idea you had of me, who was she?

A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you

Not weepin' in a party bathroom

Some actress askin' me what happened, you

That's what happened, you

When Natasha finally took you to a public event, it was the first and last time. She didn’t spend much time with you that night. And it ended with you crying in the bathroom. Wanda asked you what happened. You shook her off, but it didn’t take a spy to know that Natasha was what happened.

You who charmed my dad with self-effacing jokes

Sippin' coffee like you're on a late-night show

But then he watched me watch the front door all night, willin' you to come

And he said, "It's supposed to be fun turning twenty-one"

The Natasha that hurt you is the same one who had met your parents a few months earlier. She had charmed them with her silky voice and her ability to talk about nearly any topic with ease.

But the charm disappeared as Natasha missed your birthday. She was on a mission, or so she claimed. But when you asked Steve about it at a later time, he told you that Nat was out of town on her own business, not with the Avengers.

It hurt. It broke your heart. It shattered you.

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it

I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still tryin' to find it

After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own

Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

All of this reminiscing does nothing for you. You know that. But the inability to stop thinking about the past surrounds you and pulls you in. You can’t seem to remember who you were before Natasha became your everything.

You wore her clothes. Her leather jackets were your favorite. The first night she met you she let you wear her jacket and from then on it seemed like you always had her jacket on. She made you her own. Her partner. Her right-hand person. Until she didn’t.

You got a package of your things in the mail a few days. You haven’t opened it. You can’t bring yourself to do it.

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week

'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me

You can't get rid of it

'Cause you remember it all too well, yeah

After your breakup, Natasha sat across town and looked at the scarf you left at her sister’s house. It reminds her of how much she cared for you and what she took from you. Your scent lingers and Natasha can’t bring herself to give it away. She remembers it all.

'Cause there we are again when I loved you so

Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known

It was rare, I was there

I remember it all too well

Wind in my hair, you were there

You remember it all

She knew you loved her. And she knew that losing you was the worst thing that could’ve happened. You were real. Your love was real. She had never felt that way before. She remembers the way she kissed you in the car while driving down the street.

Down the stairs, you were there

You remember it all

It was rare, I was there

I remember it all too well

She remembers the way you giggled as you danced in the moonlight. The way her hand fit into yours.

And you remember it too.

And I was never good at tellin' jokes, but the punch line goes

"I'll get older, but your lovers stay my age"

From when your Brooklyn broke my skin and bones

I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight

Natasha appeared to move on quickly. She was seen out with some girl. You were torn up about it. Her big city life made you feel small, so small that you felt like half of the person you used to be.

And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue?

Just between us, did the love affair maim you too?

You wondered if she ever felt as sad as you did. As you still do. You wonder if the love touched her heart and broke her spirit the same way it did yours. You wish you knew.

'Cause in this city's barren cold

I still remember the first fall of snow

And how it glistened as it fell

I remember it all too well

You remember how Natasha took you outside during the first snow of the season. She watched it fall onto your eyelids and you laughed as the glistening crystals fell onto her tongue as she held it out to catch it as it fell.

You remember how in love you were.

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there

Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there

She was driving her car down the road, and she remembered how you were once there next to her. She misses your laugh. You miss her everything.

She was sitting around the table at a party, and she remembered how she promised that keeping the relationship private was best. She misses your presence. You miss her everything.

It was rare, you remember it

She is standing at the edge of the cliff. She can save the world, but all she wants to save is you. As she jumps, she remembers it all. She remembers you.

She loves you.

Tag List: @gracebutnotgraceful @i-wished-for-you-too @wandasbb @be-missed @likefirenrain @hehehehannahthings @mythosphere-x @readings-stuff @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @madamevirgo @milfloverslut @mrswidowjohansson @alotofpockets @wandassitcom @ggrangerdanger @marvelwomen-simp @maia-lightwoood @mortallytremendoussandwich @xxromanoffxx @peanutbutterprincess @karmasgxrl @picnicmic @wandaslittlewhore @exhaustedfangirl @when-wolves-howl @natashalovers @marie45019 @inluvwithfictionalwomen @sammi1642 @jujuu23 @the-night-owl-blr @strangegardentaco @avatarsnips @romanoffswoman @natashasilverfox @imthenatynat @sayah13 @harleysincairo @rach2602 @cordyandbilliehavemyheart @lovelyy-moonlight @huitzilinthebudgie3 @juicyy444 @natblackwidow2 @youralphawolf72 @btay3115 @red1culous @lenam07 @randomwriter1021

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff #all too well #taylor swift

[farfromsugafanfic]

SKZ Reaction To Having A Plus Size Partner

Genre: fluff, suggestions of smut

Warnings: some suggestive content/language, discussions of body image, a few instances of smut

A/N: I'm kinda tired of adding the gifs tbh. I got excited about this idea and wrote it quickly, so I apologize if it's too short. I am accepting requests for SKZ reactions and similar writings. Send me an ask!

Chan:

He isn't one to fall in love based on looks alone, especially not beauty standards dictated by broader society

Is only concerned about it if you are

Completely understanding if you tell him you are not having a good body image day

Always makes sure you're eating enough

Will work out with you if you want, but will never force you

Regardless of if your relationship is public or not, he will defend you from haters on Chan's room if necessary

Always makes sure you know that he thinks you're beautiful

Can barely keep his hands off your thighs

Minho:

Extremely protective of you. He understands the kind of hate that relationships like yours can get and he is NOT having any of it

Borrows your clothes

Constantly makes a point to show you that he can wrap his arms around you no matter your size

Your biggest hype man in literally everything you do. You learning a Skz dance to surprise him? He's filming and cheering you on. You bought a new dress? He immediately tells you how sexy you look (and it's obviously genuine)

Obsessed with your hips and ass (cause ofc)

Changbin:

Okay, listen, when I say this man loves your body, I mean he actually worships it

You know that narrowing of his eyes and tense stance he does when he's angry? Yeah, that's him if anyone even looks at you judgementally

May encourage you to go to the gym, but not to lose weight, he just wants you to be strong and healthy

If you ever show an ounce of not wanting to eat because of your weight, he will immediately go into carer mode

Never allows you to compare yourself to other skinnier people. He'll always say you're the prettiest before you can even let the thoughts get too far or voice them

Hyunjin:

Didn't even consider your weight or size

He just fell for you as you were

Definitely loves your style and will take a lot of joy in wearing matching outfits

If you ever have any doubts about why or if he loves you, he will absolutely flood you with affection and it may even make him go public with the relationship

Likes when you're on top during sex

Gets more upset than you do when you get hate

Absolutely loves your tummy and likes to hold it or kiss it

Whines if you ever say something self deprecating

Jisung:

Fell in love with you for your cute eyes and passion for what you do

Listen, he is a little nervous about showing you off, but it's because he's concerned about you getting hate

That doesn't stop him from loving every part of you in private

Like Minho, he's fairly protective of you

Loves buying you pretty things and having you model them

Writes you letters whenever he knows you're feeling down to reassure you and tell you he loves you

Also writes you songs, but never tells you or lets you listen to them until the album comes out and you have to put it together

It's hard for him to choose one part of you that he loves best and he makes sure you know that

Felix:

Literally, you couldn't ask for a better partner

He loves unconditionally and so your weight wasn't even a factor when he fell for you

Definitely bakes for you, especially if you're feeling bad about yourself. He wants you to know that you're always allowed to enjoy food and he'll love you regardless

Constantly trying to get you to sit on his lap and when you finally do he can't stop beaming

Doesn't want you to feel self-conscious and keeps communication open. Due to this, he will often come to you with his own concerns about his body

Does his best to make sure you're always comfortable

Seungmin:

Apathetic, but not necessarily in an uncaring way

For example, when you ask him if your weight bothers him, he'd say something such as, "why would it?"

Truly just doesn't get why anyone would care, especially when it's his relationship and not theirs

Always smiling when he sees you

Likes when you go shopping and come home and show him everything

Will try to help heal your relationship with food and always has a few of your favorite snacks on hand

Subtly observes your triggers and the things you don't like about yourself and works to slowly counteract them by complimenting aspects of yourself you don't like and doing his best to avoid you coming into contact with your triggers

Jeongin:

I do feel like he has some learning to do and could be a bit vain at first. I don't think he would be mean or outright fatphobic, but I think he may have concerns for your health or misunderstand you

With that said, I think that once he is crushing on you, he won't question it and his attitude will shift

He'll learn more about how weight doesn't equal healthy and comes to appreciate your body

You help him kick some of his unhealthy dieting habits

Loves holding your waist and encourages you to show it off with crop tops, etc.

Instead of getting too defensive of haters, he tries to educate them. But, if it upsets you more, or the hate continues, he'll be stern

Loves you so much and is ashamed he ever thought of your body as anything but sexy

#skz #stray kids #skz reactions #skz fanfic #stray kids reactions #stray kids blurbs #skz drabbles #farfromsuga #stray kids fan fiction #stray kids reader insert #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader #skz smut #skz scenarios #stray kids scenarios #kpop fanfic #kpop reactions #kpop scenarios #fanfiction #fanfic

[witchwhaat]

hello, here to share my opinions on troye's new album (sorry if it gets too long) 😌 as i said im absolutely OBSESSED with this album. like i always enjoyed his music, but to show this level of iconography????? CMON????? there is one problem i have with the album tho: every time i try to listen to it from start to finish, i get delayed by the fucking masterpiece that is "one of your girls" :/ every time this song comes on, i have to listen to it at least 5 times. wtf troye???? i would say it's my fave on the album, but that's an understatement. that's the best song of the whole year for me. god. isnt this giving daft punk like hello????? THE MV ALSO?????? 🤯 okay moving on to the other songs sjsjdhdhf u know that i loved all the singles, and they sound even better in the context of the album!! there is not a song i dont enjoy in this album, i couldnt even make a ranking because they are all so good. overall, THE BEATS in this album got me floating in space and shaking my ass at the same time. THE LYRICS???? i reallllly love the lyrics too i feel like they elevate the experience a lot which is so cool. the songs i find myself replaying the most (other than the obviously stated one above jsjdhf): in my room, honey, got me started (this one is a grower tbh). also i really feel like the songs are really cohesive and work so well together. i feel like every song will have their turn of being my fave in the upcoming months, because i intent to keep this on rotation ABSOLUTELY. this will be a contemporary pop classic and now troye is one of the main pop girls, sorry i dont make the rules... anyway, what are your thoughts? 😌

hello my beloved, finally answering to this ask!😭 sorry for keeping you waiting for so long aaaaaah

okay, first of all, i love your thoughts and i couldn't agree more about everything you said! <3 i keep coming back to this album, idk what troye put in it but it's SO addicting aaah! oh i absolutely understand the obsession with "one of your girls" bc GOD, it's amazing. chef's kiss on every level, the lyrics are perfect, the production is 10/10, the mv!!! (and yeeees, the daft punk vibes!!) are you kidding me?!! imo, the mv perfectly shows the transition between this album and troye's previous albums, he's confident, he's serving and he knows what he wants! and that's actually something i love about the whole album, it's very touching to see him being even more mature with his music and SO confident and it feels so freeing! genuinely, i'm so happy and grateful that i grew up with his music, it was veery important to me in my teenage years and it makes me so happy to see him grow as an artist (and person) waaah🥹 and i think that's also why i love this album so much, bc it's another step! ANYWAY yeeees, that's something i love so much about troye's music - how lyrics elevate the sound and vice versa. and oh yeah, the sounds and beats got me ascending aslkfkdsjfkjsah like come oooon!! and yeees the album is cohesive but i also like that every song has it's own story bc that's another thing i really like about troye's music haha which is narration! and with this album, i really like that there are themes that connect everything together, but that it's also all pretty "loose" and bc of that the songs are both good on their own but also work very well together! what can i say, troye gets it and he's The pop girl! fr, i was so excited about this album and had high expectations and he did not dissapoint! i love every single, although yeah, i also wasn't convinced about "got me started" at the beginning but it's a really good sample and i enjoy it A Lot now. it's soo hard to choose a fave, but i love rush (i could write a whole essay on rush AND i'm OBSESSED with the mv), still got it, can't go back and what's the time where you are? (perfect "me and this song against the world and life horrors aka going to work/uni" song) the most i think. troye saved this year with that album and he saved me during winter semester lol i'm so devastated that he's not coming to poland on his tour WHY troye WHYYY😭 (like what do you mean you won't come to poland but there's 5! FIVE germany dates come oooon)

#pelin i love talking about music with you mwah! #again so sorry that i kept you waiting for an answer for so long😭 #ask #kimmkitsuragi #this got so long aaaaaaaaa sorry🫣

[izacore]

trust me when I say the majority of fans are disappointed if not that tired af this time. yeah you might see some ppl coddling him on twitter but that is a small minority. and those who are not expressing on twitter are letting it out in gcs. Like the fans who have been forever are tiredddd. And that's saying something since he has no new fans this era and most of them are here since 1d. so yeah happy faith in the future with the same old team louis.

Good. This is going to be a stream of conciousness so bear with me, but recently I've been wondering if Louis or lthq aren't a bit disappointed with the fanbase so they stopped nurturing it so much? I mean, I am pretty certain that they hoped for more with FITF release and the fitf tour, considering what kind of venues they booked and how many dates they put out. And imo, if all this happened in 2020/2021 the fanbase would be more than enough to sold everything out and keep the album on top of the charts for longer. I think that maybe they saw the fanbase growth, saw the numbers the livestream pulled and then just took it for granted and thought it's always going to be like that and that fans are going to stay through everything. Unfortunately tho I feel like lthq and tbh Louis too don't really know this fanbase, its dynamic, how it operates and why people wanted to follow and support Louis in the first place so it's hard for them to work out a strategy. I mean, you won't tell me that someone business savvy would recommend pushing with the Freddie stuff that turned off A FIFTH of his 2020 fanbase off if we go off of his twitter engagement. He says that we need him and he needs us and I don't know if it's true in its entirety anymore... I mean he does need us but do we need him? What content is his putting out there for us to enjoy. When we look at the doc alone it's stunts and struggles of a straight laddy lad devoted dad. I'm nkt sure that people necessarily need this person. At least personally the reason why I fell in love with him as an artist and as a person was cause he seemed such an inspiring, fearless, bold and resillent personality and I could believe in him and his fight. This is who I need. Because what exactly is he now against or what is he fighting for? Do lthq and Louis even know why fans feel such a strong connection to him? Why they want to support him? Cause in my opinion it feels like they have they idea of the fanbase completely wrong and I think they kinda proved it with the doc where they shows passion as camping and stalking completely writing off any other parts of his amazing fanbase. What it shows to me is that they only have a surface level knowledge about Louis' fandom and like with everything, the bare minimum is their comfort zone. And now you have this thing with this cancelation, where he didn't even mention what exactly he cancels and who exactly is affected as if hey let's pretend it was all a dream. And comparing it to him writing a lengthy explanation for when they had to postpone the signings for the fans in the UK.... I guess it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I could go on and on and on about Louis' situation but I think I can bring it all down to 3 main points:

1. As long as Louis and lthq don't figure out, that it wasn't the extra laddy lad Louis who sold out the first tour and who people followed back then, nothing will change.

2. Louis and lthq have to stop wanting to be an indie artist with mainstream numbers.

3. Bare minimum won't fly forever. You base your image on your connection with fans and they always show up for you, but when was the last time you showed up for them, when you went the extra mile for the fan experience? If you want the way you treat your fans to be your main thing, then I'm sorry but you could learn a lot from people like Lewis Capaldi when it comes to nurturing and connecting with the fans.

#ask #anonymous #i know that people will accuse me of hate already but i promise you it's not this #like i don't even have strong feelings about louis anymore #i'm just sad i guess and i feel like sometimes it's healthy to step back #and ask yourself some questions/reevaluate the situation #because we keep saying that he wouldn't do something/he would have acted different and then he just... doesn't #and the overton window just keeps being pushed further and further

[beanie-twink]

So since you wanted some ianthony song recs... And I am also currently working on creating a playlist for them. I figured you wouldn't mind if I ramble about some of my favourite choices so far! :D

For now the playlist is still pretty TS heavy , since I went through her albums first to look for songs. So here are some of my top choices (aside from midnight rain) for them there:

- forever winter

"he spends most of his nights wishing it was how it used to be" "all this time I didn't know you were breaking down. I'd fall to pieces on the floor, if you weren't around"

- 'tis the damn season

"if I wanted to know who you were hanging with while I was gone I would have asked you" "so we could call it even [...] I'm staying at my parent's house and the road not taken looks real good now" "and I always leads to you, in my hometown" "so I'll go back to LA [...] And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm fakin'"

- and then of course the corresponding "Dorothea"

- closure (this song hits even more since we know about the letter that Anthony wrote)

(tho I'm glad that the song doesn't actually apply to them irl anymore; it just feels like Smth for the in between phase)

- both happiness and evermore also fit pretty well for that time

Especially with "sorry, I can't see facts through all of my fury. You haven't met the new me yet" "now I get fake niceties. No one teaches you what to do when a good man hurts you and you know you hurt him too"

And

"motion capture put me in a bad light" "writing letters addressed to the fire" "I rewind the tape but all it does is pause on the very moment all was lost"

- also "right where you left me" for Ian Vs "it's time to go" for anthony

- I almost do

Literally the whole song fits so well here idk what else to say (works from both perspectives imo)

- Breathe

"Cause none of us thought that it was gonna end this way. Ppl are ppl and sometimes we change our minds. But it's killing me to see you go after all this time" "you're the only thing I know like the back of my hand" "It's 2:00 am feeling like I just lost a friend. Hope you know it's not easy for me"

- That's when

Just really reminds me of that time when they were still apart and when asked if there are any plans of Anthony coming back one day or Smth like that and said Smth along the lines of "the door is always open"

- the story of us

Again, literally the whole song istg

But especially "now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking. And I'm dying to know: is it killing you like it's killing me?"

- from folkore I think both "the 1" and "exile" fit pretty well

Especially "and it took you 5 whole minutes to pack us up and leave me with it" and the whole bridge with "you didn't even here me out. You never gave a warning sign/I gave so many signs"

- also "this is me trying"

With "I didn't know if you care if I came back. I have a lot of regrets about that." "But I'm here in your doorway. I just wanted you to know, that this is me trying" (Anthony)

"and it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound. It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you. You're a flashback in a film real on the one screen in my town"

- you're loosing me (right before the Anthony left smosh)

"do I throw out everything we built or keep it?" "my face was gray but you wouldn't admit that we were sick"

- New Year's Day (hurts during the "break-up" era, but also feels very healing atm tbh)

"don't read the last page. But I stay when it's hard, or it's wrong, or we're making mistakes"

"hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you"

"Please don't ever become a stranger, whose laugh I could recognize anywhere"

Honourable mentions:

- I wish you would

- you are in love

- long live

- the very first night

- hits different

Sorry this was way longer than intended lmao.

And mostly angsty

Hope you enjoy some of them tho! :D

ANOTHER IANTHONY SWIFTIE BLESSED DAY

#thank you for the recs!!!!!! #your beanie-twink fact of the day: I’m a huge swiftie #I’ve never listened to ts with an ianthony lens prob bc I became a swiftie after I had stop watching smosh after Anthony left #STOP RWYLM IAN…oh…oh…I’m in Pain…. #combined with its time to go for Anthony #Taylor fits so many ships on god #STORY OF US FOR THEM OHHH MY GODDDD #you’re losing me + ianthony might be the death of me I fear #ianthony #ianthony song recs

[fromtenthousandfeet]

Was MHJ Getting Too Big for Her Britches?

I'm still doing my best to keep a neutral stance on Godzilla vs. Kong (PBD vs. MHJ), but a few more questions and thoughts come to mind.

What's with the timing? Why would HYBE risk blowing up NewJeans right before they release new music? Doesn't the company want and need the profit they generate?

Why did they make this situation so public rather than dealing with the matter swiftly and privately? Did HYBE assume there would be no backlash?

Is it true that MHJ has a non-compete clause in her contract and that it's indefinite, meaning she would never be able to work in the same capacity in the Korean music industry ever again? If so, it's pretty clear why she called herself a slave to HYBE.

Now for some observations.

Min Hee Jin is cooked. As soon as a shareholders' meeting is called, whether forced by the SK courts or simply when the next meeting arrives, there's no way she will survive as CEO given HYBE owns an 80% stake in ADOR, and they will certainly vote her out. She's done for.

I don't think HYBE will continue to support NewJeans. They will no doubt release the 4 songs the group has ready to go, but beyond that, they will likely focus on Illit and other GG within the corporation. If NJ does manage to survive, will the level of care and investment into their success be the same? Who knows.

Love her or hate her, so much of what she says in this interview resonates with me as a life-long music lover. I hope you'll take the time to read it, because it's pretty clear why she and Bang PD probably don't see eye-to-eye on much of anything, at least with the way he moves these days. Here's my favorite quote from this interview: "Some BTS fans want to compare how well one member’s album does over another member’s. BTS is a group that’s been around for 10 years now. They did their duty, basically. So I think it’s time to focus less on the stats and just enjoy their music—[let them] do what they want to do." A million times this!!!!!!!

https://www.fastcompany.com/91113146/k-pops-leading-company-has-declared-war-on-itself-this-never-seen-interview-profiles-the-creative-legend-at-the-center-of-it

Did you see how high NewJeans placed on all those Forbes Korea lists? I wonder if Mr. Bang got wind of the lists ahead of time and blew a fuse? I have this nagging sense that NewJeans and MHJ are getting the same treatment Jimin is getting. BPD just can't deal with anyone who is more successful than he is, especially if they don't use his precious methods, strategies, partnerships. But he needs BTS and he needs Jimin to keep the money flowing. Maybe MHJ and NJ are disposable?

Lastly, I saw the original rumors about the potential cult connection on X/Twitter (before the ALLKPOP article) and the suggestion that MHJ was shading BPD in the OMG video. Despite not being a fan of girl groups, I checked out the full video, and truthfully, I loved it. It's arty, clever, and entertaining. I have no comment on the cult imagery because that's not my area of expertise and I don't really care, tbh. But MHJ, after your music career is destroyed, please come here to the US to make music videos or movies.

Here's the video just for funsies.

#I'm going to get roasted for this post #Youtube

[the-halcyon-effect]

copying @jackfromthefairytale again but it's the imminence album this time

come hell or high water: this was honestly my least favorite of the singles, it's good but it's kinda repetitive. i think it's good as an opening song tho

desolation: first song i heard by this band! it's good, and a VERY good description of their sound, but there's not much more new i have to say.

heaven shall burn: 2nd favorite of the singles, behind the title track. eddie is pissed off and i am in danger 👍

beyond the pale: first new track! i have high hopes

ooh that's an architectsy riff. i like it

OOH THOSE VOCAL LAYERS IN THE CHORUS ARE SO GOOD GJEKIDJDOSKEKDPLSKSKDLSK

their architects influence is SHOWING and i am PERFECTLY okay with that

oh it's breakdown time. obliterate me pls

YUP I'M GETTING OBLITERATED

i call these "train breakdowns" because they feel like getting run over by a train OH WE'RE STILL GOING WAIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS DEATHCORE NOW‽‽‽‽ and now it's just the chorus again. holy shit

eddie berg how do you do that. just how.

death by a thousand cuts: VERY good track! this is the song i use to describe imminence's sound. wasn't my favorite of the singles but it's still one i put on often bc it's still SO GOOD

come what may: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT INTRO THIS IS HEAVIER THAN CONTINUUM

OH FUCK THAT STACATTO (? forgot the word) VIOLIN IS SO GOOD

GENUINELY WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS HOLY SHIT IT'S LONGER THAN THE TITLE TRACK

THIS IS ALREADY BETTER THAN ALL THE SINGLES WHAT oh and now the chugs are broken jesus christ

genuinely how the fuck is this the same band as songs like erase. this is fucking brutal i love it

this one might beat the new mts song as my fav song this year so far

oh no it's breakdown time. i am about to die

oh? maybe not? are we getting a violin solo?? yeah i'm ABSOLUTELY down for that

OH THE DRUMS COMING IN TOO WITH THE GLITCHY SNARE oooouuuughhh (nonsexual)

this is their best song ever. like there's no contest WHAT'S THIS OH THE GUITARS ARE BACK THIS IS SOME SYMPHONIC METAL SHIT

and you're telling me this ISN'T the closing song. wtf

welp that's gonna be on repeat for a while

cul-de-sac: gonna guess this one is an intermission, it's pretty short and also following up whatever that was

yup sounds like it. it's cool tho. kinda reminds me of the intro of viking by stp in a weird way

this album is wild so far. like i'm trying to also level up my d&d character but i can't because i have too much to say

the call of the void: ok the intermission built up at the end so this is gonna hit hard i'm ready

I WAS NOT READY WHAT IS THIS

that's not a guitar. those are bombs.

man. when heaven shall burn came out i thought it was gonna be the heavy one. then continuum came out and i thought it was this one. now eddie is just screaming "RAGE" at me and i am happy

also. very good chorus. i enjoy

it takes some skill to make an album where this ISN'T the best song. like holy shit

breakdown???? i'm in danger

oh we got the low cleans. this is ABSOLUTELY gonna be a breakdown

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK

eddie berg is not human. that was a banshee. with bombs.

continuum: while this one was a great single i kinda wish it wasn't released as one. it would have been great to have to process this while still recovering from the previous song. plus there were too many singles for this album imo

l'apelle du vide: tbh i have no idea what to expect here but if i had to guess i think it's gonna be acoustic (like the arabic one on heaven in hiding)

ok yup i was right

this acoustic guitar is beautiful

oh this is GOOD!! this is kinda some ghost atlas shit

are we gonna get vocals on this? it doesn't sound like it but i don't mind that tbh

why is there a boat horn what's happening

oh i guess there are vocals (technically)

OH THE DRUMS

OH THIS IS AMAZING

god i love this band so much

the black: best of the singles, easily. would be best of this album if not for come what may. to be honest, though, i don't think it should have been a single. l'apelle du vide gives a really nice chance to rest and recover from the pure brutality of the previous tracks, and having something new afterwards would have been nice. to be clear, though, this is not a huge problem at ALL and it's frankly the only complaint i have about this song.

le noir: idk much french but i think "le noir" is french for "the black", so i'm guessing this is gonna be an alternate version of the title track but in french (kinda like the spanish version of temptation they did). the only reason i have to doubt that is that that's typically the sort of thing that would be a standalone release or on a deluxe version, but here they have it as the closing track of the album, so idk. we'll see!

oh it's only 3 minutes? maybe i was wrong. this violin is beautiful tho

ok this is interesting. i have no clue where this is going

oh this is fucking beautiful

it's kinda expanding on the melody of the title track, i like it a lot

okay yeah i'm crying now. this is amazing

okay that was an incredible album. final thoughts time!

first, i know this is kinda nitpicky, but there were way too many singles for this one. if it were me, i would have kept continuum and the black unreleased before this. the only new parts in the last part of the album were the acoustic instrumental tracks, which were good, but i would have wanted it to be a fully new experience, especially for the title track itself.

as for the good stuff, where the FUCK do i even begin??? this is somehow simultaneously the heaviest and most emotional this band has ever been, and in my opinion it's also the best. this album really is an emotional rollercoaster, with tracks like heaven shall burn and the call of the void being absolutely brutal, while songs like dbatc and all the acoustic stuff being super emotional, and then there's ALSO songs like come what may that are just both at once. besides the nitpick i had earlier, i never knew even remotely what to expect, and that was fantastic of them. i really wish i could forget every song and listen to the whole thing with fresh ears, because i can only imagine how hard it would hit having not heard any of the singles.

i do also wanna talk about the acoustic stuff specifically, because imminence has always done that SO WELL. i do wish we got a proper acoi track with vocals, though, because that kinda felt like it was missing here. not only did we get one both on turn the light on (love & grace) and heaven in hiding (the arabic one), but they had 3 whole fully acoustic songs, and i feel like it would have been nice if one of them had vocals as well, especially the last one. le noir felt to me more like an intermission than a closing track, and i wish it either had vocals, was longer and had more melody, or was moved to before the title track.

to be clear: this is an AMAZING album. it's gonna have to take something absolutely MASSIVE to beat this for my aoty. the complaints i have don't even come CLOSE to outweighing how masterfully done the album as a whole is, and they're also quite literally the only things i can complain about.

also, i'm not gonna do a full ranking of the tracks from worst to best until i listen to the album more, but come what may is the best track. like there's no contest.

#in case you can't tell i have a special interest #imminence #metal #metalcore #Spotify

[pfenniged]

I loved how Andrew wasn’t the bitter ex band member and put their friendship first and fully understood what George Michael was going to be, probably not the full extent of it but the fact George needed to evolve.

It made sense once he said Wham! Was for the youth and there was never going to be Middle Ages Wham! It clicked for me.

My parents were teens of the 80s and my mum had their greatest hits, I have a vivid memory of dancing around to Bad Boys and the woop woops are ingrained in my head!. I have to say almost all my music taste somehow goes back to their album and George but it is only a recent realisation. I hope you are enjoying them!!! Freedom and I’m Your Man are my favs. Though Careless Whisper is making a comeback after what was revealed in the doco 17 and that???? What talent.

Exactly, which I always thought was super-classy and honestly, very mature of him (I honestly think if I was a teen in the 80s I would have had a little bit of a crush on him for it, tbh).

We had the big hits in Canada in the 80s (My Dad was a teen in the 80s and informed me of this), and it's just interesting to think about what was big in different countries. Obviously "Careless Whisper" and "Wake Me Up (Before You Go Go)" were massive everywhere, but I love how the documentary exposed me to songs they never play, even on our more retro/classic rock stations.

My Dad said "Freedom" was a big hit, but I'd never heard it, and I love it. Same with "I'm Your Man." And then even some of their more "naff" stuff, like "Wham Rap" and "Young Guns" just has that super-youthful energy, and shows a surprising amount of maturity in terms of its themes for something written when you're sixteen to seventeen.

Like, even if I had written a song about being unemployed when I was a teen, I don't think I would have had enough sense of character or myself at sixteen to think, "Wham, Bam, I am a man- job or no job, you can't tell me that I'm not." As an overachiever, it definitely took me until my twenties to be comfortable with not being defined by a job or gaining ALL my sense of confidence from what I do. And then Young Guns talking about premature marriage and children, and being locked into marriages you're not necessarily interested in? Like, there's clearly some great stuff there.

Also, their backing vocals are honestly also just clever and make me chuckle. Like, the thought of chanting "D.H.S.S." as your backing vocals ("Department of Housing and Social Services") when talking about being on the dole, and almost as something to toss back in people's faces with such youthful exuberance and a playful destigmatization of being on state support, is funny and clever and all I've been doing since I saw the documentary is just randomly singing out "D.H.S.S." everywhere I go. Same with "Everything She Wants"- the deep bass "GIVE YOU MONEY- WORK, TO GIVE YOU MONEY" has had me dropping my voice for the past week.

In short, they're so much more than the sum of their parts, despite being a self-described "schoolboy" band. I think they're a lot more clever than they give themselves credit for.

(Plus I just realized that in George Michael's solo career, the organ playing the chord progression at the beginning of "Faith" is the exact same melodic chord progression used in "Freedom," and it's just so clever. George really was far more talented than I ever recognized before. Brilliant. <3).

#personal #it's interesting because I've lived in Australia England and Canada #and it's funny what's famous some places and not others #anyhow again #see the documentary people #katherynparr #Wham! #Wham #George michael #andrew ridgeley

[gimmethatagustd]

Hi!! Okay so this is a bit of a weird ask (??) but I just went on a ~trip~ through your blog and thought you'd like to know. Maybe. Possibly.

So, I randomly remembered about TFM Yoongi, and super super got the itch to re-read it again. I knew it was on hiatus (literally a few days after I first read it 🥲), but I had it saved on my ✨secret bts fanfiction side-blog✨and on ao3. Couldn't find it. Panicked.

Quickly skimmed through your masterlist and wips - no signs of life. Maybe yoongles took it with him to the army for some late night reading? I considered sending you an ask, but then I was like - No, poor babygirl author probably gets a bunch of these, I'd much rather go through their posts, than to be yet another "WhEre iS tHe fiC" random stranger.

So I did. Did I find any additional info on it? Why is it gone? No. We love tumblr's search function 👍 It's fine, I'm emo anyways, grief is my companion (joking - you do do. It was fire though, I miss it dearly. Jimin was so sassy "Miss Thang" omg. Also poc rep ?? Yes).

HOWEVER. I did notice the delicious amount of DPR IAN discourse (my husband actually) AND that one post about Logic's Supermarket (i have yet to read it but the album is so slay. I actually like it better than some of his "official" stuff oop-). And I just kept thinking, damn, I love the vibes here, we're practically besties at this point.

So I guess here I am??? I don't even read that much BTS ff anymore BUT 👀 I'm all up for more Adorable Representative MCs For Youth content on my dash. We ball I suppose. I hope you have a nice day/week/ whatever 💜

HI I'M SORRY I'M FINALLY RESPONDING TO THIS !! i've been such a mess the past few days from work, so i wanted to make sure i gave myself time to actually respond to this ask properly since you were kind enough to send me such a lovely message!

you are correct, TFM is gone 😭 i deleted it from tumblr and AO3 because i was unhappy with my writing and where the story was going. i was excited for it, and then everything kinda fell apart. I'm sorry!! a lot of people got mad at me for that LMFAO, but i really grew to hate that series, and i figured it would be better to just delete it. i didn't delete the actual fic tho. like i have all my writing saved. i've considered rewriting it to be yoonmin instead of a reader-insert cuz i lowkey hate writing reader-inserts but i still do it for my tumblr followers hjsdfks but that is TBD

i'm glad you enjoyed it tho!! i think i got in my head over it idk. i love the idea and the characters (and FUCK YES diamond was my favorite character. we need queer poc representation in fics~ one thing about me is i'm gonna always give it if i can in a fic 😤) but yeah ! ANYWAY

DPR IAN. i'm gonna write a drabble for him, probably in February~ so i hope you enjoy it when i do!

AND OMG ok i need to read supermarket soon. we can do a book club lmfao. i will 1000% be your bestie, i mean, we're already there atp like you said. dm me whenever you want ok ok ok

i'm happy to be a bts ff dealer for you if you're ever in the mood for it 🙏🏽 I'm honestly on tumblr for the vibes and friends atp so nice people like you are why i stay 🥹 i hope you're doing well !!! you're so nice

ALSO yes i stalked your blog and 👀 sleep token 👀 tbh idk anything about them but i know some of their songs and i am very into it

#moonchild-in-blue #jai asks #happy things ✨ #tfm

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

Would you mind talking a little more about McCartney 1? It's my favorite of all the solo album I've listened to (which admittedly isn't that many, but at least includes all of Paul's 70s output). I know that's an unpopular opinion, but I struggle to wrap my head around why? I guess I get that you'd never play Momma Miss America on it's own the way you would any song from Ram, but I think it really works as part of a whole album. I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on the album's weaknesses, since you have way more actual knowledge on music/music theory than I do? Thanks!

TBH I haven't listened to it in full in a while. I really really really love Junk, I think it might be my absolute fave post-Beatles song and like top 5 Paul has written overall (so including Beatles) and Man We Was Lonely and Every Night are great, but otherwise it's kind of Eh to me. I'm a bit of a contrarian because I don't like Maybe I'm Amazed that much lmao, even though I certainly find it an interesting song to understand Paul as a person. Otherwise I also enjoy Hot As Sun and Teddy Boy fine but I don't ever seek them out. Okay and Singalong Junk because Junk is That Song. The rest doesn't really move me much though, idk. That Would Be Something is p annoying even lol-

I might relisten to it in order soon and see how I like it in full again.

#ask #anon #music talk #paul