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#idk if whoever asked wanted this one but i’m posting it anyways
ra1ny-daze · 9 months
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bonus saint speedpaint
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berzahoes · 6 months
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manifestation, baby! | tom blyth
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summary: fans find out tom’s girlfriend has an old youtube channel where she reviewed the ballad of songbirds and snakes (and she definitely manifested her life)
an: the way i thought about this idea and quickly wrote it down so i didn’t forget it. i used to have an app that made those fake tweets but i’m just tired to make fake profiles 😭 maybe i’ll change it later idk
for the purpose of this imagine, let’s pretend tbosas book was published between 2017-2019
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liked by zeglerslove, 444_bri and 35,377 others
tomblythxsnow apparently tom’s girlfriend has an old youtube channel where she reviews books and she reviewed the ballad of songbirds and snakes and she literally manifested her future 😭
lucymygf WHATTT WHATS HER CHANNEL NAME
tomblythxsnow it’s yn’s book corner. she hasn’t posted since 2019 ngl i need her to review a little life because that book destroyed me
nat76_ omg i used to watch her videos!! i’m still subscribed to her 😭 i remember only buying and reading the books she liked because i wanted to be her so bad
j4ckaszlol “if someone ever makes a movie adaptation of this book and casts someone attractive to play snow then i am sorry for the person i become” REALLLLL
graybairdsmockingjay dude the part where she said “i’m calling it now whoever plays young snow will be my boyfriend. movie studios always cast someone attractive as the younger version of a character!” MY JAW DROPPED SHE NEEDS TO TELL ME HER WAYS
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“guess what rachel just sent me.” you heard tom say when he arrived to your shared apartment.
“wedding invitations?!” you gasped as you almost stood up from the sofa since you were watching reruns of criminal minds, but tom stopped you.
“no, it’s better!” tom sat beside you and showed you his phone. “why didn’t you tell me you had a youtube channel?” on his phone screen was your review of the ballad of songbirds and snakes, which had become a very popular video over the past couple of days.
you hid your face with a pillow and groaned. “don’t remind me. i just wanted to talk about my books and my family didn’t care. don’t watch it! it’s embarrassing!”
“i think it’s cute. aw look, your dog made a cameo!” he pointed at your old dog you used to have that walked into the frame.
“indi! no, come sit right here. oh . . . and she’s walking away. okay, anyways.” your younger self said in the video
“indi? why Indi?” tom asked you even though you were still hiding from embarrassment.
“after indiana jones. my dad and i loved those movies and he gifted me indi as a birthday present.” you confessed.
“love, don’t be embarrassed. i think it’s cute that you manifested your life according to the comments on instagram,” tom paused the video then cuddled up to you. “i won’t watch it if you don’t want me to.”
“it’s fine, i just didn’t think anyone would find it. we can watch it together.” you uncovered yourself and sat down properly to watch the video with tom. before he pressed the play button and together you watch your younger self review the book.
“i’ve read all the hunger games books at least four times and this one did not disappoint. but i do hope whoever ends up being cast as young snow is someone hot. i’m sorry it’s the rules! and they will be my boyfriend, i’m calling dibs.”
tom smirked at you. “if only younger you could see you now.”
“she would definitely think ‘wow, how did we pull this beautiful man?’ then be confused as to why the hunger games and fnaf is trending in 2023.”
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liked by tomblyth, rachelzegler and 1,377,389 others
ynlovesbooks told ya. love you tomblyth ❤️
rachelzegler she is THAT girl
ynlovesbooks no u
everdeenx12 bestie he’s EVIL
ynlovesbooks he’s a walking red flag but my favorite color is red 😍
chamaletproblems pls tell me how you did this
ynlovesbooks i figured out who they were casting and kept him hostage until he agreed to be my bf
tomblyth true
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moonsgemini · 7 months
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you’re on your own kid
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summary: rafe cameron has loved his best friend through every season, but through the seasons of their senior year things start to get complicated.
warning: she/her, smoking, alcohol, angst, fluff, kissing, cheating ???, drugs, mutual pining, (let me know if I missed any)
wc: 4.7k
an: HIII! I’m really excited for these taylor swift fics bc her songs give me so many ideas. This took a while for me to finish & idk if I like the ending or honestly if I like it at all. I promise seeking arrangements is next on my list to post <3 Hope you guys enjoy !!!
rafe's version masterlist - masterlist
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I wait patiently
he’s gonna notice me
it’s okay we’re the best of friends
-
summer
Of course when he walks in the party instantly feels like an actual party. It hadn’t been much of a party to her especially not with him around. These things got boring fast if he wasn’t by her side making her laugh and talking about anything and everything. Not having to worry about sleazy guys coming up to her or putting something in her drink because he always by her side. Always looking out.
Everybody loves him anyways. The way he carried himself charmed everyone, made them always want to have his attention. Sunglasses perched on his nose, even though it’s eleven at night, that big smile on his face. He’s bobbing his head to the music and greeting everyone, she can tell he’s in a good mood tonight. It puts her in a good mood, her fingers itching to greet him already.
When he finally reaches where she’s standing with a few of her friends he smiles even wider at her. Greeting everyone but always just looking at her. Moving to push his glasses up onto his head. She couldn’t help the smile that tuged at her lips as he side hugs her friends knowing that’s not what she’s going to get.
And she’s right, once he gets to her it’s all outstretched arms and gentle rocking as he hugs her tightly. She’s been away at her grandparents house in florida for the last week of summer. They had missed each other. Face times and text messages just didn’t feel like enough.
“You’re finally back,” He said once they pulled away.
She rolled her eyes playfully a teasing smile on her lips, “Were you counting down the days Cameron?”
He shrugged, “Maybe, I know you were.” That grin never leaving his lips.
“Now come on,” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders beginning to lead her to the kitchen of whoever’s house this was, “I need a drink and you need to tell me about Florida.”
“I already told you everything every day Rafe. Just sat out by the pool or on the beach,” She motioned towards her body, “got some new clothes.”
He raised his eyebrows eyeing her body, “Some very tiny clothes,” His eyes took in her mini skirt and tank top all the exposed skin doing something to him, “Any guys out there?” He didn’t look at her as he asked. Instead he grabbed a beer out of the fridge, cracking it open with his back to her.
She scoffed, “Florida boys? No thanks.”
He turned around smirking, “So just North Carolina boys for you?”
There was a look in his eyes that she couldn’t quite read. Every now and then he’d give it to her and her mind would spiral on what he could be thinking. She always hoped it was the same thing she was, “Mhmm only North Carolina boys.”
-
I hear it in your voice
You're smoking with your boys
I touch my phone as if it's your face
I didn't choose this town
I dream of getting out
There's just one who could make me stay
-
fall
Everything had felt boring lately. After the summer and after the start of senior year she felt like the parties in outer banks were a waste of time. It was always the same people doing the same things. Kids too young to know what’s good for them and too young to care about the consequences of their actions. Not a care in the world knowing mommy or daddy would get you out of whatever stupid decision you made.
She’d spent most of her high school career pretending to like parties and drinking. Even tried coke once but it made her feel like her brain was rotting so never again. When in reality she’d rather be home smoking on her balcony reading a good book or hanging out with her close friends around a bonfire. It was exhausting always having to put up a front that she was this social party girl.
It took her a long time to come to the realization that she didn’t have to be what people thought of her. On figure eight it felt like everyone knew your business and everyone thought they knew you. They start seeing you at parties talking to Rafe Cameron and all of a sudden you’re some party girl with a drug problem. Once people found out Rafe quit doing coke and dealing she just became the party girl. Kook prince and kook princess always stuck to each others sides, of course she was going go gain a reputation.
Once she realized that people are going to talk regardless what she did so she stopped caring. Started staying home more. Rafe kind of hated it. Because she wasn’t there anymore. But he made it work with their busy senior schedules. Always saying he can make time for his best friend. That’s what she was. His best friend.
best friend.
Even saying it in her head made her cringe. If only he knew that she wanted something more so badly. At first she didn’t even see him that way, he truly was a great friend. He listened to all her rants about music, school, books. Rafe paid attention, he was soft with her. She didn’t understand why people always said bad things about him because he never showed those sides to her.
She sighed thinking about him, sitting on her balcony. The thought of him was brought on by everyone’s instagram stories of the party currently happening. She had opted for one of those smoke on the balcony with a good show or book nights.
As she scrolled through her phone more it began to vibrate. Rafe’s contact popping up on the top of the screen. A warm feeling spread through her stomach, maybe it was just because of the weed. She pressed the green button and brought the phone up to her ear. Admiring the little picture of him first, it was one she took right before she had left for florida. He was holding up their friends dog with a big smile on his face.
“Hello?”
“Heyyy,” A raspy voice said on the other line. Immediately she knew he had been smoking as well, probably with all the guys outside. He could even still be passing the joint around. He could also be smoking a cigarette outside after he’s gotten a buzz, it was his favorite thing to do after a few beers.
She put the laptop that was resting on her to the side, bringing her knees up to her chest. Leaning her head to the side on her knees she smiled softly, “Hi Rafe, you rang?”
He can hear her smile. Rafe knows her like the back of his hand.
“I did, what are you up to?” He knows exactly what she’s doing tonight even though she didn’t even tell him.
The wide grin on her lips dulling slightly, “Uh just looking at some schools in california, also watching new girl.”
“Still wanna leave this place huh?”
She let out a breathy laugh picking at the thread on her bench, “You know me too well.”
“Of course I do. I’m coming over,” She could hear him walking on gravel.
“My parents are asleep Rafe,” It was almost one in the morning and her parents had some golf charity event early in the morning.
He laughed amused, “Okay? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It’s supposed to mean you have to climb up to my room on the second floor or stay at that party,” Her tone was stern not wanting him to get her in trouble but also praying he’ll come and not wake them.
“Hey I gotta convince you to stay close to me after high school so you brought this on yourself,” He was walking to her house. She didn’t live too far from where this party was and he didn’t want to drive after smoking and drinking. At his words her hand tightened around her phone closing her eyes for a second imagining he was there saying that to her but in a different context.
Rafe didn’t have to do anything to convince her. He was the only one who kept her here. It was why she was still mulling over the idea of leaving the outer banks.
“You better at least be bringing a joint for us,” She sighed feeling giddy about him coming over. He always made her feel like a school girl with a big crush on the cutest boy in school.
“Already had one with your name on it babe,” He always threw that word around like it meant nothing. It meant everything to her.
They bid their goodbyes as Rafe was a few houses away. Less than ten minutes later she heard rustling under her. Rafe was climbing the tree by her room. He stepped onto the ledge before getting hoping down.
“Rafe,” She shushed him harshly hoping her dad didn’t hear. His heavy feet landing with a thud.
He looked at her with a smirk, “oops.” He shrugged not really caring if he was loud. Grabbing her legs that were laid out on the bench and sat down placing them on top. One hand on her shin and the other right above her knee.
He leaned his head back looking at her. That contagious grin on his face his eyes hooded and a bit red from his night out, “So ms. I wanna run away. What’s this thing you’re trying to escape,”
She sighed leaning back, “Dunno. I guess everything. I want to start somewhere new, it’s hard when people think they know everything about you.”
He let out a short laugh, “Yeah tell me about it. Maybe we should escape together, I think you’re the only person who doesn’t see a douche bag when they look at me.”
Her heart burst. If they were in a cartoon there’d be hearts swirling around her head and violins playing.
She shook her head smiling, “No one sees you as a douche bag,” She smirked, “anymore.”
“It doesn’t matter because the family company will be mine after college and people will see that I’m more than just a pretty face with a bad attitude,” He smirked.
“You are a pretty face with a bad attitude,” She agreed before holding her hand out, “Also you have something for me no?”
He patted her legs, “How could I ever think you forgot.”
They smoked and talked all night. She put on a movie on her laptop but it was more of background noise. At almost four in the morning she started to drift off to sleep and soon she was asleep on Rafe’s lap. She just felt so comfortable and warm with his hand rubbing circles on her shoulder.
He carried her to her bed and tucked her in because he knew she got cold easily. He sat next to her on the bed and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. A small smile on his face, these were the nights he cherished with her. When the world felt so quiet that it seemed like they were the only people existing. No interruptions from their friends or their parents.
Just him and his girl.
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I search the party of better bodies
Just to learn that you never cared
-
winter
She pushed through the crowd of people while scanning the room for the 6’2 man she was meeting. It was the first party she had come to since summer and she was only there because he had begged her to come. It was a christmas sweater party so she had on a red sweater with kittens playing with presents. She had gotten it with Rafe a week ago at a vintage store, it was the whole reason he even brought up this party. Telling her it’d be the perfect place to wear it to.
Spotting her friend Emma she went up to her, “Hey have you seen Rafe? he hasn’t been answering me.”
“I swear I saw him going to the bathroom like a few minutes ago,” She pointed towards the hallway.
“Thanks,” She waved and walked towards the hall.
It was much quieter in this part of the house. She’d never been here before so she didn’t know where the bathroom was. There was a door on her right and left and one straight ahead. She decided to check them all. She opened the door on the left and it was just a closet with towels. The door on her right was the bathroom. She was confused because wasn’t he supposed to be there.
She turned towards the last door and saw some light coming from under. She had a gut feeling this wasn’t going to be good. Slowly she walked towards the door and opened it just like ripping a band aid off and
ouch.
Rafe on top of Taylor Thompson. His hand under her sweater and his lips on her. Taylor’s hands in his hair. At the sound of the door opening Rafe turned around and the girl under him sat up to look.
“Shit,” He muttered feeling his heart sink.
She stood there in complete shock for a second before speaking, “Sorry to interrupt.” She slammed the door closed. Holding back her tears until she was in her car alone. Her feet knowing where to take her as her mind was elsewhere. Why would he do that? The last few months had felt different to her. It felt like there was a possibility of something more.
It felt like he literally ripped her heart out and shoved out down Taylor Thompson’s throat. That blonde bi-
“Y/n! Wait!” Rafe called as he chased after her.
She ignored him not really wanting to see him until she got her emotions in order. Now it was clear he wanted nothing to do with her and never cared about her, at least not in the say way. She didn’t want him to see her cry over him, it felt pathetic. They were outside now she had finally reached her car. Clicking the buttons to unlock it furiously.
“Stop!” Rafe said as he jogged to push her car door closed before she opened it all the way.
“What!” She yelled turning around to him. A look of anger in her eyes.
He took a step back seeing how upset she actually was, “I-It’s not what it looks like.”
She rolled her eyes, “I don’t care Rafe.” Crossing her arms defensively.
He furrowed his brows, “Then why are you leaving?”
“Because I can.”
“Y/n-“
“Rafe! I don’t want to third wheel all night so go fuck Taylor Thompson like you want, I don’t give a shit.” She seethed, tears pricking at her eyes.
He shook his head, “I don’t want to fuck her.”
“Then why were you kissing her?”
“I thought you didn’t care,” Now he was getting mad for some reason.
“Fuck you Rafe.”
He laughed bitterly, “Tell me why it bothered you so much.”
She scoffed confused, “What?”
“Why did me kissing her bother you?”
“Because it didn’t bother you. You just didn’t care,”
“About what?” He took a step closer. He was trying to get her to say it. To say that she cared because she liked him.
He knows he fucked up but after her reaction he realized that he had convinced himself she didn’t care when she did. Then he may have taken a few shots and gone into the guest room to breathe and call her. But then Taylor Thompson came in right when the tequila was kicking in and things got blurry. She was on him and he didn’t stop it and she tugged him on the bed and he just couldn’t move or stop. He also couldn’t stop thinking about y/n as it was all happening, wishing it was her.
“About me,” She sighed looking down voice so small.
“I care about you.”
She looked up at him with a frown. She sighed frustrated being able to hold her tears anymore as a few slipped down her cheeks, “No you don’t. If you did you wouldn’t have kissed her.”
She turned around quickly opening her car door and getting in. Rafe got what he wanted, to hear her say it. But maybe he fucked up so bad he can’t fix it. He steps back as her car starts and watches her drive away.
She can barely see between her tears as she drives home. She felt dumb. She felt like he was using her to make his ego bigger. Why did he have to ruin it? The one person who kept her tied to where she is had betrayed her the most. She knew he didn’t owe her any loyalty but she couldn’t help the way she felt.
-
I picked the petals, he loves me not
Something different bloomed
Writing in my room
-
spring
Three and a half months.
It’d been three and a half months of Rafe and her not talking.
After she left the party she promised herself she would never speak to him again. He hurt her and she couldn’t believe she’d let it happen. Feeling dumb for feeling the way she does towards him. How could she have let herself fall for him so much?
He had called and texted her relentlessly at first. Even tried to go up to her in school but she’d quickly turn and walk away from him. After a month of trying to get her to talk to him he gave up. He fucked it up more than he thought. Rafe gave her the space she wanted but he’d always be there in the background if she needs him.
Y/n couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t take him always looking at her with those eyes. Couldn’t take all the time she was spending alone. She thought she liked being alone and spending time alone but she also liked all the time she spent with him. He made her feel so care free and light. The anxiety that was constantly bubbling in her stomach would diminish around him because she didn’t have to pretend to be someone she’s not.
But enough was enough.
Ever since middle school she had kept a diary. A few stacks of books tucked away in the back of her closet hid her deepest feelings and every detail about her life. The current one she had been filling was almost full and the last quarter of the notebook was all Rafe. Well to be honest he was in all of them, and not in a weird way. He was just always there, they were always together.
But now that they didn’t spend time together her pages consisted of rants of her boring school days and writing different scenarios she had wished happened that night instead of what did. She had ranted about how he made her feel and how she felt seeing him on some other girl. A girl that wasn’t her. It should have been her.
After everything they had done together how could he not see her in the way she sees him? Maybe he did live up to his cold hearted reputation. Even though he had never done anything wrong before. She actually can’t remember the last time she saw him hook up with anyone. Not since the beginning of junior year and back then he was fully in his coke addiction. She remembers that night like it was yesterday.
They had become friends around that time the year before. Summer before sophomore year they met at midsummers when she caught him and his friends in the storage closet drinking from a bottle of vodka. Y/n told them she wouldn’t say anything if they let her have some. Rafe immediately liked her, she knew what she wanted and she got it.
Now it was a year later and he can feel her eyes on him as he kissed some rich touron. He was high out of his mind and he just wanted to make y/n jealous. But it didn’t work, the look he had caught from her as he trailed behind the redhead he just met was one more of disappointment. He felt his heart clench at the feeling. After that night he decided to get clean and stop the hard drugs because he hated that look.
She couldn’t take it anymore, keeping all of her feelings on sheets of paper. She needed to find him and yell at or just do something. He has confused her for years now and she was sick of it. Especially now that Rafe and her were closer than ever. All her pent of feelings seeped through as she sighed exasperatedly, putting her pen that had been furiously writing down. Slamming it on the desk as she harshly pushed herself up from her desk.
With anger she had stormed out of the house and driven to his. Her sneakers stomping on the ground as she marched towards him. Every one of their memories together flashing through her head.
She had spotted him on the dock and was b lining towards him. Rafe’s head turned as he heard her stomping towards him. His stomach flipped when his eyes landed on y/n, he had really missed seeing her around. Especially at his house. He propped his sunglasses up on his head and hopped back onto the dock. He had been getting the boat ready for a solo boat day to clear his head.
“Y/n?” He asked in disbelief.
“You!” She pointed at him and stopping once her finger was poking his chest, “Why are you the way you are!” Her finger jabbing into his chest with every word.
He watched as her chest rose and fell quickly. He had never really seen her mad before, something he always admired. But now seeing her with furrowed brows and steam practically coming out of her ears, he kind of liked it. Rafe knows he shouldn’t be thinking about how cute she looks and instead be getting on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He had really missed seeing her up close. Missed how dark her lashes were and how glossy her plump lips always were. He counted all her freckles to make sure she didn’t get any new ones while they were away from each other. Her hair was in a style he hadn’t seen on her before.
“Well hi to you too,” He smirked. He couldn’t help himself, couldn’t help use the charm he knew she loved.
She placed her palms on his chest and shoved him, barely making him move. Y/n began ranting, “For the last fucking four years you have been my best friend and you’ve been so confusing! Everything was fine at first but-but then you were always there for me whenever. And you always fucking listened to me. And you’re so funny. I started to feel different and then I saw you at that fucking party,” She glared at him, the image of him on that girl making her nauseous, “And then you changed. You don’t hook up with anyone and you don’t leave my side at parties,” she laughed sarcastically, “You even fucking call me babe sometimes. So I though oh maybe he feels different too then again I saw you on some fucking girl. And you chase after me so Rafe what the fuck do you want from me? Has this all just been bullshit to you? Am I just some fucking girl you get to flirt with to get your weird little fix until you find someone you actually want to be with?”
He rolled his eyes almost offended, “You know you’re not just some girl.”
She scoffed with wide eyes, “That’s all you took away from that. What else am I supposed to think? You make me feel special for years and I just wait and wait. Then when I think things are finally happening you go and kiss some girl.”
“Y/n-“
“Who fucking knows what would have happened if I hadn’t walked in.”
“Can I-“
“I know you would have fucked her and then came home to me to talk about your problems like I’m some wife in the 50s.”
“You-“
“You kill me Rafe.”
“Stop!” He practically shouted as he placed his hands on her shoulders. She closed her mouth and stared at him intensely.
“I was afraid you didn’t feel the same so I kept my feelings down. I’ve liked you since the moment I met you. But I was fucked up then so I didn’t act like it until I saw how much I hurt you. I changed for you and-and then I just got scared. You are someone so beyond me, you are like the nicest smartest most beautiful person. Why the fuck would you want me?” He laughed like it was obvious, “And we’re such good friends it was terrifying to think about how if I fucked it up I wouldn’t have you at all. No one’s ever actually tried to get to know me the way you have. And then I did fuck it up again,” he sighed scratching the back of his neck, “I shouldn’t have let her kiss me that night. I should have found you and told you what I’ve been feeling since I met you. That I love you so much it actually hurts. And it’s hurt me knowing I made you upset.”
“Rafe,” She sighed as her eyes softened. This was not going at all how she expected things to go.
“I get I fucked it up, so if you still never want to see me again that’s fine. But please give me a chance,” He was actually contemplating getting on his knees to beg.
“You’re such a big dumby. You’ve always had a chance. You mean so much to me. Rafe the only reason I haven’t applied to out of state schools is because I want to be with you. Even if it was just as friends,” She sighed feeling like a weight had been lifter off of her shoulders. A part of her still wanted to punch him.
He took a step closer lifting his hand and softly brushing his fingers across her cheek as he cupped her face, “Will you please go out with me? Because I am so in love with you.”
She leaned up towards him. Their noses now brushing, “I love you,”
He smiled as he pulled her towards him, their lips meeting. The kiss felt like every taylor swift love song playing at once. All the yearning felt worth it in that moments. Their lips moved against each other languidly, like they’ve always been doing this. Rafe’s hands moved to her waist, gripping in all the right places.
Y/n’s hand ran through his hair tugging when his hands reached lower giving her butt a squeeze.Rafe melted at her soft sighs and quiet moans as he trailed kisses down to her neck. Kissing behind her ear. He kissed her cheek as he faced her again. Her hazy eyes and swollen lips made his blood flow to a certain lower part of his body.
“Rafe, this doesn’t mean I’m not still kinda mad at you. You have a lot of making up to do,” She smiled innocently at him.
“Baby I’ll give you whatever you want. In fact, let’s go shopping now for our date tonight,” He kissed her one more time before moving to hold her hand dragging her towards his car.
She laughed as she trailed behind him knowing that one shopping trip wasn’t going to make it better. He owed her big time.
“It also doesn’t mean we’re boyfriend and girlfriend because you haven’t asked me,” She smiled smugly at him as he opened the door to his truck for her.
“I guess I have my work cut out for me then,” He said leaning against the frame of door once she had sat down.
“you do.”
He leaned up and kissed her softly, “Anything for you baby.”
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emry-stars-art · 11 months
Note
Aaaaaaaa I honestly need to know absolutely everything about the royal au!!! I don’t even have a specific question I just would love to hear any of your thoughts on everything. Also I love your art so much!! I might make fanart :p (that’s a big maybe I’ve got massive art block right now but if my brain functions correctly I absolutely will.) 🧡🧡🧡
Hello hi I DO have more :D I have a little pocket notebook that’s been my brainstorming and planning book that I’ve put all the ideas for this au in so far and I’m sure I’ve missed a few points so
There is art in this post, it’s Abram post-Evermore with a knife and very little control of his actions so I’ll stick it under the cut, at the end with some more angst 🙏 ANYWAY let’s see what we got
I haven’t colored it so you can’t tell but the twins frequently wear all white with silver embellishments as official/fancy outfits. They look ethereal. That’s all, next point
Most of them are still bi/multilingual but once again only some of their languages overlap. (I’m going to be keeping all the languages real/ones used in canon for clarities sake but who knows what they actually are in this universe.) Day and Abram can speak some Japanese, Abram doesn’t know a ton, but they only use it if they really really need privacy. Neither of them like using it. They also know some French (again, Abram not as much as Day) and Wymack knows some too (bc diplomacy or smth) and the twins and Nicky (Nicholas?) still know German. I also want Abram to start out knowing a fair amount of Russian (maybe from another ‘coworker’) just because I think it’d be fun, I dunno if that’ll change. These combinations can be used in any amount of fun ways I think
So there’s the obvious rule of ‘don’t get too close to the royal family’ right. Just the basic safety thing. But there’s that rule and then there’s the rule for Prince Andrew, where EVERYONE knows you do not touch the prince. With the king or queen or Duke Nicholas someone could always come forward, pay their respects, or even ask for a dance or something, I’ve decided they’re pretty lax about that kind of thing. But with the prince you can only offer your hand or something and he might just decide Not to shake your hand or whatever. And RIP to whoever tries to touch him without permission. So basically canon. When early story Abram first becomes familiar with this - while he’s still under Day’s supervision - he kind of looks at his arms-length perception of the prince and assumes it’s a ‘holier-than-thou’ bit, that the prince doesn’t want to touch the unwashed masses. One time Abram - Nathaniel at the time - approaches him too quickly too close (for some reason idk) and all Andrew can remember is Day’s heavy warning that no one get too close to Nathaniel without being accompanied and yeah, thinking back to their meeting that sounds about right, so Andrew immediately takes out one of his own hidden blades and stabs it into the table between them. Nathaniel stops short. Andrew says, “I am so clear, and yet people like you must think I’m lying. I don’t like being touched, Wesninski, and I’ll appreciate you to keep your distance.” And EVEN THEN Abram doesn’t realize exactly what that means but he’s a lot more careful after that.
Speaking of: what does make it clear is much later, maybe after Abram becomes officially Abram, they’re out in a parade or at a bazaar or something similar and the prince is in immediate danger, like something-is-falling-and-Andrew’s-gonna-get-crushed type thing, so Abram pulls him to safety. But they’ve been out in public where it’s loud and there’s too many people for long enough that Andrew can’t really help his harsh reaction, and it’s raw enough that Abram realizes “oh he’s serious serious.” So after that he adds ‘don’t let people get too close to or surprise the prince’ to his list of duties.
Okay okay not only does Abram wear a corset but the prince also frequently wears lace up/corset vests to parties and stuff (it’s probably what gives him the idea for Abram’s outfit). But yeah eventually instead of like Aaron or someone else trusted doing it up Andrew asks if Abram will help and pretends to be annoyed when Abram asks twice that it’s really okay, but as we all know he appreciates it and even secretly lets Abram decide for him; (“how much tighter, Your Highness?” “How does it look?” “”Hm. …I do rather think you look ball-worthy more often than not. Still - a little more?”) And then later when Abram gets his gifted outfit he expresses its convenient, but rather a shame it laces from the front, and then can only smile when Andrew tells him it is in fact wearable either way.
And yes. Confident no-need-to-hide-his-personality Abram accidentally flirts like A Lot (because why would he hide his opinion, he does think the prince looks good (just not for the purely aesthetic reasons he thinks it is past a point ya know 👀)) and Andrew is so frustrated because it’s an accident until one day it isn’t. Rip Your Highness
WAIT BACK TO NICKY. idk what to call him here, the twins can still call him Nicky but he’s probably formally/publicly known as Nicholas or Nick. Since the world is a little less heteronormative, Luther does not have an issue with Nicky’s sexuality but he is livid that Nicky is trying to get with a commoner. Specifically a cute baker from the next town over that sometimes comes to do the medieval equivalent of catering at the castle for events or something idk. BUT as soon as Luther’s out of the picture for whatever reason Aaron and Andrew have no issue letting their cousin be “abroad” or “off on business” in about as vague of terms for like. A long while at a time. How official and professional of Duke Nicholas. Mhm. No, they will not be taking any more questions
In this au Abram and Aaron are neither friends nor enemies, Aaron would just really love to associate with Abram as little as possible and Abram’s totally fine with that. Absolute masters of staying in their lanes. But when Katelyn gets a little too drunk at a party and wanders away from Aaron and Wilds, for way too long, and Aaron starts getting worried - where is my wife I hope she’s okay - Abram’s found her and has been watching her. Wilds can see Aaron’s relief when he realizes that, because yeah they’re not friends but Aaron knows for a fact that Abram will take as good care of Katelyn as he ever does of Andrew, maybe even more so. That Does Not Mean he likes him any more than he does currently tho. (This becomes a frequent occurrence. Party Queen, Her Majesty Katelyn Minyard)
The prince asks, “When do you relax, Abram.” “Occasionally when I am off duty.” “Are you not off duty now?” Abram smiles. “I am off duty when the only person’s safety in my hands is my own, Your Highness.” (Where does this go? Completely up to you, have a blast)
Okay moving onto the angst.
Abram cannot outrun his past forever, especially since he’s not running at all. And not just from the Moriyamas. I don’t know how, but maybe someone in the general castle ranks figures out where Abram comes from and is (rightfully, unfortunately) immediately on edge. It ends in a mob of castle workers/knights/etc finding Abram and bringing him to the king, queen, and prince, announcing that this man comes from Evermore, he must be a spy, he must be just waiting for an opportunity to cause the royal family harm. He’s stolen into the prince’s good graces with the worst of intentions. And the issue is: I don’t think Day ever told the family he knew this. He kept it hushed for a while as to not cause a panic (part of the reason he was ever lenient and gave Abram a chance was obviously because he himself was in almost the exact same position). And then when Abram proved himself trustworthy he didn’t want to ruin Abram’s chances at having a fresh start. So as far as Aaron and Andrew are aware, the mob is right. That doesn’t make it easier for them - they all trust Abram as much as Day does, they suspect now that Day might have known given his initial reaction to Abram, but what does that matter when Abram’s proven his loyalty so many times - and in the confusion, Andrew has no damn idea what to do. He can hear Aaron whisper beside him, “Andrew,” but even if the mob is right Andrew can’t bring himself to be the one to execute any sort of judgement. He returns, “this is your jurisdiction. Tell me your decision once you’ve made it.” And he can’t stay there any longer. Abram watches him leave silently from the center of the mob.
But Aaron doesn’t want Abram hurt either. He’s sure there must be some misunderstanding, he needs to talk this over with his advisors. So he does nothing more rash than send them all to leave Abram in a holding cell until they can figure it out. When Andrew hears about this, he gives himself the full day to make sure he’s got his head in order before going down to the basement. Abram hardly moves from his place in the corner of the cell. Andrew asks for an explanation and for once, Abram has nothing to say. Nothing more than Andrew’s heard already, he says. Once again, Abram waits to be served a death warrant. And again it is refused him. After it’s more or less cleared up, the biggest issue is getting the general public to even begin to trust their prince’s closest servant again.
(Read a snippet of their conversation in the cell here since this is already so long lol)
Lastly. It’s a good thing, I think, that Day put himself in charge of Abram immediately once he’s back from Evermore. Not for Andrew’s sake this time, though that’s still certainly the case, but I kind of think Abram would have come out worse on the other side even despite Andrew’s best intentions and efforts. And the issue would be that Andrew is too patient and careful with his words. Because while he’s recovering (specifically his sight) Abram is a danger to both himself and the people around him. Like this.
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Neither Day nor Andrew are afraid to get a few cuts or bruises; the difference is Andrew would have tried to hold him too gently, just take the blade by force and it probably would have ended with more superficial wounds on them both than Day’s approach. Meanwhile Day isn’t afraid to do what he needs to do to get results. Once he realizes the extent of the trauma around ‘if you are like a dog you will be as obedient and loyal as one’, he can use that. Instead of trying to take the knife by force here, all Day has to do is say “Nathaniel, drop it,” sharply enough, and Abram’s muscles react before his head can. I don’t know how long it would take for Andrew to resort to the same thing. If that makes sense, anyway, I might be wrong on this one. (It’s one of the things I’d have to put a lot of thought and maybe even writing into to be sure of.) Anyway if Andrew heard this happen he’d be incredibly angry, but Day never uses it without very, very good reason. It keeps Abram from hurting himself too much.
So that’s like all the extra random points I had in my book :D once again, no idea where they fit in a timeline but they’re here in my head floating freely around on colorful inner tubes, occasionally bumping into each other. I really appreciate you enjoying this so much, I hope it is everything you wished and more 🥰 also omg… if you make art I’d DIE to see it, I’d be so honored 🥹
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cordeliawhohung · 28 days
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I saw a reblog of the anonymous ask someone sent you about using character ai, and someone responded saying something about how it’s disgusting to even ask that, which is a liiiitle harsh, but I digress.
The issue here, is that there are more people who don’t understand what AI is doing than people who do understand.
ChatGPT, Open AI, Character AI, Gemini, etc ALL steal from published works on the internet. It cannot be prevented, no one can stop it from happening.
I’m not an artist & I don’t publish my writing, but I do genuinely care about the artists and writers who are having their work stolen and receiving absolutely zero credit.
Please, please, please, do not put someone’s work into AI.
If you want to create a character, or a storyline & use character ai, by all means, go for it. But PLEASE, don’t disrespect or disregard these artists by feeding their work into an AI. It completely diminishes all of the hard work they put into their art.
oh boy, nothing like having a post you made in fucking january suddenly gain a fuck ton of attention lmao.
while i understand where you're coming from, i think you completely missed the main point of my response to that anon.
1: i literally explained that ai steals work to that anon. i said it's a pale imitation of what a real human would write. that it takes works that people put so much effort into and regurgitates it out. i told them not to put stuff into ai. i informed them, and i wasn't rude about it either. emotional, maybe, but i wasn't being rude.
2: the main issue i had with that anon, besides the ai grossness, was the insinuation that i'm not "creating enough content" for them. "the readers can interact more with the characters" comment from them really grinds my gears. even if ai didn't steal from creators, and it wasn't a godawful abomination, them wanting me to put my ideas and works into something that they can interact with that isn't through me completely disregards the entire purpose of me having this blog in the first place. which i ALSO explained to them. why would i want to put my work into a 3rd party source and not interact with my followers when that's literally my favorite part of creating? bonding and talking about the shit i put effort into? i had every right to be upset about that, and so does every other writer.
3: i have no control how people reblog my posts. so idk why you're coming in my inbox about what someone else reblogged, really, just to tell me everything that i've already explained to that anon. i know who you're talking about too, because they're a mutual of mine, and honestly, i agree with them. it's disgusting to suggest someone should put something into a third party source so they don't have to wait for me to "churn out works" or whatever. i know people aren't well informed. which is why i informed them on that post and left it at that. i also explained why it's frustrating to receive asks like that, to hopefully prevent them from doing that again.
also, while i have whoever is reading this, i'd also like to mention that the anon who sent that ai ask sent a response back (that i didn't bother to respond to because i wasn't trying to make this a thing) somewhat apologizing and said they asked me that because other blogs on tumblr were doing it too. don't do that. don't assume that just because some people are doing x thing, that means you can suggest it to someone else. it's rude, and comparing blogs is just frustrating in itself.
anyway. i will not be making this a thing. do not come into my inbox debating the ethics of ai or whatever, as i will simply not entertain it. (:
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the-boy-meets-evil · 2 years
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summary: you're feeling self conscious about your recent break-up and hoseok is more than happy to teach you a thing or two. rating: explicit, minors dni pairing: jhs x f!reader word count: 6.5k tags/warnings: explicit content, smut, pwp, slight dom!hoseok, unprotected sex, oral sex (m & f receiving), finger, hand job, drinking, swearing, idk what else to say, this is really just porn a/n: i originally posted this on ao3 with a female character, then converted to reader to post here, hopefully i got everything. this also was originally a one-shot but i may continue it because why not?
With a stare into your nearly empty glass, you swirled the amber liquid around once and sighed heavily. This was the last place you wanted to be, a place that reminded you of exactly what you were trying to forget. But, you knew that he would not be here today and that made it safe. It was always better to drink in a bar than at home alone, right? Even if you were technically alone at the bar, there were still other people there. At least, that was how you had justified it to yourself.
Why had you let yourself get this invested in someone who was so far from being worth your time? It was the same pattern that you fell into, over and over again. Always picking the guys that were most likely to hurt you. Always picking the guys with eyes that were likely to wander. Always picking the guys that didn’t want their attention to be held by one person. Why couldn’t you ever hold their attention? Was something wrong with you?
You threw the rest of the drink back in one gulp and caught the bartender’s attention to ask for another. Whoever said you couldn’t find the answers you were looking for in the bottom of a drink had clearly been wrong. At least you were drowning out the stabbing pain. Although that ignored the pain you would certainly be in tomorrow if you carried on this way.
“Imagine finding you here in the afternoon, today of all days,” a cool, calm voice said from next to you.
There was no need to turn your gaze sideways to see the man that the voice belonged to. It was a voice you recognized even in your sleep. But, you turned to give him a look anyway, unsurprised to find him in a pair of tight ripped jeans and loose fitting shirt. Somehow he always seemed to pick the shirts that hid his well defined frame. His eyes sparkled as he took you in, but his smile was genuine.
“Hello Hoseok,” you said, almost exasperated. 
“Why hello,” he answered as the bartender walked over. It was very quiet in the bar given that it was only later afternoon still. “I’ll just take the same as she’s having.”
“What are you doing here?” You asked.
“I could ask the same of you, isn’t there a big party tonight?” Hoseok responded and you rolled your eyes.
“Same Hoseok, answering questions with questions,” you sighed. “I assumed you’d be headed to the party as well.”
“I don’t much feel like celebrating him,” Hoseok commented and you actually fully turned on your stool to face him. “Sorry, I know you like him and all, but I’m not going to your boyfriend’s party.”
You turned away from Hoseok and took a big sip, bigger than you were intending to take. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”
That seemed to bring Hoseok up short, which was unusual. You had been friends for years and he had never exactly kept his opinions on your boyfriends to himself. This was different, though. He could see it on your face. This one was hitting you hard enough to have you throwing drinks back, in the middle of the day, without much care for anything else.
“I’m sorry,” he said finally, actually sounding like he meant it.
“You don’t have to pretend,” you said, despite the fact that he sounded sincere. “I know you fucking hated him.”
“Well he couldn’t seem to stop his eyes from wandering,” Hoseok said simply.
“Or his hands, or his mouth, or his dick, apparently,” you said and threw back the rest of your drink without even wincing.
“I was afraid of that,” Hoseok said quietly.
“Do you know what he said when I found out?” You asked, turning to face Hoseok again. He noted that your eyes were glassy.
“I’m sure it was something pretty awful, knowing him,” Hoseok mused.
“He said,” you continued, with a surprising lack of emotion, “if I had been better at blowjobs, maybe he wouldn’t have had to look elsewhere.”
Hoseok choked on his drink at the bluntness and honesty of the statement. Now he knew that you were definitely buzzed. You weren't drunk, he could always tell when you were drunk, but you were very clearly buzzed and your inhibitions were lowered. You never said things like that sober. In fact, he remembered poking fun at the fact that you had basically been best friends for the better part of a decade and you still blushed talking about your sex life with him.
You met Hoseok’s eyes and were mortified a second later, immediately turning your head away. Why had you just told him that? Yes, he had dragged information about your sex life out of you before, but this was different.
“Pretend I didn’t say that,” you said immediately and put your head in your hands.
“Maybe,” Hoseok began as he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear and forced you to look back up at him, “you just never had anyone teach you how to do it right.” His tone had gone lower as he finished the sentence and turned the tables. It was your turn to nearly spit out your drink.
“Excuse me?” You asked, blush crept up your cheeks. 
Hoseok was unashamed as you looked at him. His smirk had returned and he simply shrugged as he took another sip of his drink. “You heard me.”
“And what? Are you offering to teach me?” You rolled your eyes and turned back to your drink. 
“Everyone should know how to do it properly,” Hoseok said and smiled when your head whipped back to look at him.
“You’re crazy.” 
“And you’re considering it,” Hoseok added, a slight smugness crossed his face. 
You were embarrassed and it showed in the redness of your cheeks. Instead, you dropped your head a bit, letting your hair fall to create a curtain between yourself and your friend. It gave you a chance to think as well. You had heard the stories from other friends that had slept with Hoseok, even when you hadn’t wanted to. You saw the way girls just fell to his feet. Were you crazy for considering it? Was it just the scotch? 
-----------------------------------------------
The butterflies in your belly had been a constant companion all day as you tried to focus on anything other than that evening. Try as you might, you were having a lot of trouble keeping your mind from wandering to Hoseok. Throughout the day, there had been at least 10 times you had your phone out to text him and call it off. Every time, you ended up deleting the text and putting your phone aside, face down, hoping that would help you not think of your agreement. 
When you got home, you looked around, worried about if you should have done something different, maybe candles or... something . Then, you would remind yourself that he had been in your apartment thousands of times before. This was not supposed to be some big deal. Nothing romantic. It was just one friend helping out another. 
Right on time, as always, Hoseok had knocked on your door, seeming casual as ever, and strolled in behind you. If you seemed nervous to him, he was nice enough not to comment on it. You knew you must have seemed nervous because he was unusually calm, like he was letting you adjust and move at your own pace. 
Time seemed to move at odd clips. At Hoseok’s suggestion, you had gone into the bathroom to get comfortable while he waited for you in the bedroom. It was a little bit overwhelming, the thought that you were crossing this line in your own bed. Would it change things? Would it be weird to have him over now? You shook your head and splashed a bit of cold water on your face before looking up to the mirror. Objectively speaking, you knew that you looked good, knew there was no reason to be nervous about any of this. And that was as good as it was going to get. You had meant to put a robe over your bra and panty set, but what was the point? 
With one last breath to prepare yourself, you opened the door and saw Hoseok sitting shirtless on the bed, looking as casual as ever, like this wasn’t a big deal at all. That’s because it’s not a big deal , you reminded yourself. You allowed yourself a moment to appreciate that he was in incredible shape, despite how often he wore oversized shirts. His eyes met yours and he smiled. That was enough to propel you forward to him.
Part of you was completely unsure why you had agreed to do this. When you had several drinks in you, it seemed like the most wonderful idea that either of you had ever had. Hoseok was popular with women, and with men sometimes, if you were being honest. He knew what he was doing. He could clearly give you good advice. Now that you were sober, it seemed like a terrible idea. Why hadn’t you just done it when you had still been buzzed? That way you would not second guess going through with it. Damn Hoseok for not letting that happen and insisting you be sober. Damn him for making you wait like this. The worst of it was that you were still going through with it. Actually, the worst part was the tingle you felt at the thought of going through with it.
“Hey, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Hoseok said, seeming to read the apprehension on your face.
“No, I have to know if I’m really that bad, if it’s my fault he cheated,” you said quietly and Hoseok tilted your chin up to look at him.
“It is not your fault he cheated. He’s just a piece of shit,” Hoseok said, just as quietly, but firm. 
“Right,” you said. “So, how do we...do this?”
“Just follow my lead.” 
Suddenly, he was all business, none of the smirk or the silliness present. He placed a hand behind your neck and pulled your face to his. Before you could even form a thought, his mouth covered yours in an insistent kiss that caused you to lose your breath. You tried to move your own hand up to his face and he pinned it down with his free hand. He was really going to be in charge of this.
“Kneel down on the floor,” Hoseok said in a firm tone that caused you to look up at him sharply.
There was no question as to whether or not you would do what you were told. Immediately, you rose from the bed and went to kneel at the edge and moved your hand as if to brush your hair out of your face. Hoseok caught your hand as he looked down at you from his position on the edge of the bed and moved your hand back down. He raised his hips briefly to pull his shorts and boxers down, leaving him completely naked. It was too late to go back and you realized in that moment, you really didn’t want to anyway.
“Put a hand on my thigh to steady yourself,” he said, having settled back onto the bed with his legs spread slightly. You moved forward, putting yourself on the floor between his legs. 
Again, you did as you were told, one hand on his thigh as the other slid up his leg to his length, already hardening. You slid closer so that you were more comfortable between his legs. Your eyes must have looked a little unsure because his expression softened for a fraction of a second. 
The next moment, you were sure that you must have imagined it because his face was back to focused, his eyes burned with anticipation. His hand was on yours before you realized it. He turned it over so that it was palm up on his thigh, which confused you for a moment. 
“Spit in your hand,” he said softly, but with all the intensity you had seen in his eyes earlier and with a firmness you did not dare ignore.
You tried to move your hand from his thigh to do as you were told, only to have him grip your wrist. Fighting the blush that crept up your cheeks, you cleared your throat and spit into your hand. He did not waste a minute after seeing you had done as you were asked and moved your hand to his tip and down his shaft. Not wanting to seem completely helpless, you took the rhythm over yourself and looked up to find him watching you intensely. He was leaning back, with his hands behind him on the bed, but his head was tilted down to you. It was hard to ignore the way the muscles in his stomach tensed as your hand moved.
“You know,” he mused, far calmer than anyone had any right to be in this situation, “I’ve always liked your lips. And now I want to see how they look around my cock.”
The admission distracted you, even if it was only momentarily. It sounded so casual and you wondered who would ever refuse that request. The next second, the focus that was coming off every inch of Hoseok washed over you as you followed each instruction he gave you. Your slowly ran your tongue up his shaft, circling the head. He placed a finger under your chin and tilted it up to look into his eyes just as you took him into your mouth. The eye contact made you pause and Hoseok quickly guided you to continue, placing a hand gently but firmly on the back of your head and pressing down slightly. 
“I think you can take more than that,” he said softly, eyes burning into yours. And you relaxed your jaw to take more of him into your mouth, earning a hiss from him as he quickly gave you another instruction.
You tried to follow what he was saying, eyes rounded as you looked up at him while your head bobbed up and down on his cock, slowly at first as he had instructed. There was something about him telling you what to do and expecting you to do as you were told that was a turn on. That was definitely a kink you had not realized you had. There was no time to think about that, though.
You changed the rhythm from quickly bobbing your head up and down to pulling back to slowly tease him with your tongue, all at his direction. Your nails dug into his thighs as you moaned around his cock in your mouth. He swallowed a groan in reaction to the feel of your mouth vibrating around him. 
Feeling a bit more confident, you moved your mouth down his cock, using your hand to continue stroking him as you kissed at his base. He stopped giving you direction and just enjoyed your changing pace. A piece of hair fell into your face and he was quick to brush it away, gathering your hair in his hands to keep it out of the way. 
Moving back up, you took him in your mouth again, hallowing your cheeks as you sucked. Hoseok twitched in response and let out a low groan before praising how good it felt. Your eyes watered a bit, but you ignored it to keep going. All you wanted was for him to feel good.
You could tell the exact moment when he really started to lose control. Each muscle in his well defined stomach tensed, he let out a loud groan that was almost a growl, his hands in your hair tightened. 
“Oh fuck,” was all he uttered as he came. You continued to lightly suck at him, swallowing almost all of it and only allowing a bit to drip down your chin.
Almostly feeling shy, you wiped √r mouth on the back of your hand, but he caught you in the process and pulled you against him. You leaned over him, his mouth on yours, and you knew he was tasting himself on your lips. One of his hands rested on the back of your neck, preventing you from removing your lips, the other hand moved to your waist to pull you further against himself. Awkwardly, you moved closer and were thankful he let you balance your hands on his shoulders. What you had not realized was that it was so he could put both hands just under your butt. You lost your balance, which seemed to have been what he wanted, and ended up straddled over his lap. You broke the kiss with a gasp. His hands pulled you back into the kiss, though, hungrily deepening it. Somewhere you registered that you were breathless, but that somewhere was certainly nowhere in your conscious mind. 
Hoseok moved his hands down your sides and where you had always been ticklish, there was nothing funny about the movement then. His hands gripped you, long fingers that had always seemed delicate pressed hard into your skin hard enough to leave marks. Those same hands slowly started to roll your hips backwards and forwards. It only took you a second to take over the movement without any guidance from him. He withdrew his lips from your mouth and you were almost embarrassed at the whimper that escaped. The look in his eyes was pure fire, though, and it removed any embarrassment. Immediately, his lips made contact with your skin again, as he trailed kisses across your jaw and down your neck. Occasionally, he stopped to nip at your skin before he drew back and blew gently to ease any sting. 
Beneath you, you felt him hardening again as you rolled your hips back and forth, just slowly enough that you knew he was going crazy. Hoseok groaned into your neck as he nipped at your skin and his fingertips dug into your hips hard enough to leave marks. The thin layer of material between you created more friction and you found that you wished you had taken off your panties and bra. His breath hitched slightly as you rolled forward and bit down slightly harder on your skin in response. You moaned in earnest and he took it as a sign to keep going. In one smooth movement, Hoseok unhooked your bra and discarded it to the side. He bent his head and took one of your breasts into his mouth. When he sucked your nipple between his teeth, you dug your fingers into his shoulders and rolled your hips a little faster. His other hand rolled your other nimble between deft fingers and you wondered what else those fingers might be able to do.
As if he had read your mind, Hoseok moved a hand to your thigh and returned his mouth to yours. Once his lips were on yours again, his hand slid down your inner thigh and he ran his thumb over your slick folds through the thin material of your underwear. Just the slight touch made you tremble and you realized how turned on you really were. One more touch and you thought you might come undone on the spot. One of his hands gripped your hip and pinned you to him. He moved his other thumb inside your underwear to carefully circle your clit and earned more insistent moans.
“Get up for a second,” Hoseok directed after breaking the kiss again.
You didn’t hesitate, not that you could have handled it anyway. The second you had stood up, Hoseok reached forward and pulled your panties down your legs quickly. There was no need for direction once they were off. Without wasting any time, you straddled his lap again and moaned into his mouth as soon as it made contact with yours. Hoseok slid a finger back inside of you, then another, and used his thumb to circle your swollen clit. You had a hand on his arm and dug your nails in, almost unable to take it already. 
Without any warning, Hoseok withdrew his fingers again and in one movement, flipped you onto your back on the bed. Your eyes were wide for a moment as you tried to determine what was happening. He pushed your legs apart, light but firm and looked up at you, a dangerous smile playing at his lips. You propped yourself up on your arms for a better angle to take in his face.
“Lay back down,” he said and you locked on his eyes. He raised an eyebrow, as if daring you to ignore what he said.
What was the point though? If you ignored him, you might not get exactly what you wanted. So you laid back down. His head disappeared down between your thighs and you immediately felt his lips on you. Hoseok sucked the sensitive skin of your inner thigh between his teeth and nipped at it, eliciting a gasp you could not control. You could almost feel his smile as he kissed the same spot. He continued kissing up your thigh, making you writhe in anticipation of having his mouth where you needed it most. But, almost as if he knew, he ghosted his breath across your center and moved to kiss his way down your other thigh. 
It was impossible to take. If he didn’t offer relief, you were sure you were going to die. And some part of the back of your brain told you that you were being dramatic, that nobody had ever died from waiting. Your mind went blank when you felt his breath against your center for a second time. The noise that came out of you was somewhere between a moan and a whine as you arched your back and tried to get closer to him, tried to urge him to where you needed him, tried to search for relief. There was a low chuckle at the sound and you wanted to feel embarrassed, really, you did, but you couldn’t. 
Just as you were about to protest, you felt his fingers spreading you and his tongue ran slowly up your center. The protest died on your lips and was instead replaced by a moan. He ran his tongue up your center again in almost lazy strokes that had you writhing. It felt like he was just going to tease you until you went crazy without going as quickly as you wanted him to do. Impatiently, you readjusted, trying to make him move faster, yet all he did was slide a hand up your stomach to hold you in place. There was a surprising amount of strength pinning you down, even though you knew on some level that moving was the last thing you should want to do.
His tongue finally moved faster, circling your clit and sucking it between his teeth momentarily. Your back arched into the attention and you reached a hand out to tangle in his hair, holding him in place. It was the most attention you had ever received and you hadn’t been prepared for the way it was making you feel, like every nerve ending was on fire. 
There was something about the feeling that just took away any ability you had to think about anything else apart from Hoseok’s mouth between your legs. He slid a finger inside you, then another, and your breath caught. Where he had been slow to start, he had picked up the pace as soon as he had been able to tell that you could not wait any longer. His fingers quickly moved in and out of you while his mouth continued to focus on your clit. 
The sensations were nearly overwhelming and it was almost too much pleasure, as if there were such a thing. It was clear that he knew what he was doing and he was enjoying this as much as you were. Well, almost as much, at least. The orgasm was building, a warm feeling settling into your tummy and your limbs began to tingle. 
“Oh my god!” You screamed, as Hoseok increased the speed even a little more. He must have known that you were close, must have been able to feel it in your muscles tensing, feel it in how your body reacted to every tiny movement.
“F- fuck, yes! Hoseok, I’m coming!”
The warm feeling spread over your body like fire and your eyes fell closed, little fireworks seemed to explode behind your eyelids. You bit down on your lower lip, even though you knew you did not need to stifle a moan. Your toes curled and your body shook. Hoseok slowed down his fingers, guiding you through the high. And you couldn’t see it but his eyes were on you the whole time, taking in every subtle change in your expression.
The orgasm had been intense, more so than you were expecting, and certainly more than you had ever experienced with someone going down on you. You stretched out a bit, eyes still closed and expected to feel Hoseok laying beside you. But there was nothing and you opened your eyes suddenly, worried he had disappeared and unable to consider why that worried you. Your eyes fell on him quickly though, sitting on the edge of the bed, smirking at you like he knew you had panicked for a minute. He was infuriating and you were in way over your head. 
You moved to sit next to him and pulled a bit of the sheet with you, trying to cover up. Hoseok raised an eyebrow at the gesture but said nothing in response to it. It was stupid, you knew it was stupid. He had just been between your legs and now you were trying to cover yourself up?
Almost as if you were trying to distract both of you, you leaned over and pressed your lips gently against his. He tasted like you and that had something stirring in you again. This was new territory for you. You were certainly not inexperienced, yet you were nowhere near as experienced as he was and you definitely understood why people got so caught up in him. It was impossible not to. Hoseok placed a hand behind your neck and deepened the kiss. Your body arched into his almost involuntarily as his free hand traced down your side to grip at your hip. 
There was no way of knowing which one had initiated it, but you were sliding into his lap again, one leg on either side of him. He moved his hand down your back so that both were gripping hard into your hips. Every place where his skin met yours felt like it was on fire. Your body angled into him without you ever making the decision to move. Again, you found yourself rolling your hips against him beneath you. 
It was hard to catch your breath, and harder still to break contact from Hoseok. When you did, you saw his eyes had gone several shades darker. This had started as just an offhand comment in a bar while you were in pain at your own stupidity over picking the wrong guy again. Now, all your thoughts were on Hoseok and the way he felt, the way he kissed you, the way he ran his tongue up your core, the way his fingers felt inside of you. It wasn’t enough. You needed more of him, more contact, more of whatever this was.
Suddenly his thumb was circling your clit again and you thought you would feel too raw. Instead, all you felt was that you wanted more. He caught the moan on your lips and began kissing you again, deep, insistent kisses that took your breath away. When he slid a finger inside you, you tried to pull away, but his hand was on the back of your neck again, forcing your lips to stay connected with his. He slid another finger inside and you could feel the anticipation building. It wasn’t enough.
“Hoseok please,” you whined after you broke the kiss. His fingers were still inside of you.
“Please what?” His eyes were still just as intense as they took you in. 
“Please.” The whimper was all you could manage.
“You have to use your words if you want something.” There was a glint in his eyes as if he were enjoying this. You realized he probably was but you stopped caring.
“I want to feel you inside me. Please, Hoseok, I need to feel you inside of me.”
“Then be a good girl and keep following my lead.”
You were about to respond and say something in protest when his lips crashed back on yours again, effectively ending any protest. He withdrew his fingers and you tried to moan at the loss of contact. You were so close that it seemed as if you could feel every move that he made. When you realized what he was doing, you lifted yourself off of him just slightly. He positioned himself at your entrance and pulled you down on top of him without giving you the chance to adjust.
“ FUCK! ” The word escaped from your lips before you was able to do anything to stop it.
This was someone who unquestionably knew what he was doing and you were sure you had never felt this good in your entire life. With him fully inside of you, he had given you a moment to adjust before he took hold of your hips and ground them against him again. You bit down on your lip hard to muffle a moan at the motion.
“Stop trying to be so quiet with me,” Hoseok ordered. There was no room for disagreement, not that you would have wanted to anyway. You started moving your body as he directed and he was rewarded with the next moan that slipped out.
As you moved together, he kept giving you instructions, little points of what to do and how to do it best. There was a slow rhythm to the movement and it hit you in a way that you were not sure you could remember experiencing. And if you had, it was certainly not with your ex. It felt like he filled you completely each time, hitting you deep. Your head fell back for a moment in sheer pleasure.
“Eyes on me.” His voice was sharp and you snapped your head back to look into his eyes. You saw the fire but also the appreciation that you had listened so easily.
His eyes never left yours and you saw the same thing reflected there as you were sure was in your own. It was not fast enough for either of you, not enough contact, not enough of the other person’s body. Not enough of anything. And you were struck by the thought that you had never felt so full and yet still wanted so much more. You had never been with someone you ached to have more of when he was still inside of you. He was a drug and you were already addicted. 
Your bodies moved together easily, all while Hoseok uttered a string of encouragements. But you barely heard him, the sensations in your body were overwhelming. There was no better feeling in the entire world, you were convinced. You also knew that you had been missing out with previous partners. It had not been anything like this.
The feeling was too much and your head fell back again. His voice was sharp in response. “What did I tell you about eye contact?”
You brought your head back up to look at him, but your eyes were more mischievous than compliant. Slowly, you rolled your head back again and smirked at him when you made eye contact. His pace slowed. “Should I call you sir while I’m at it?” 
Without warning, he put his hands below your butt and stood up in one swift motion. You gasped, any remnants of the smirk gone immediately, as he quickly moved to press you against the wall. With a leg bracing underneath you, he adjusted his arms so that your legs were draped over them on either side. He looked up at you as he drove into you, hard and fast. There was no way for your head to fall back and nowhere else to look but at him, even if you had wanted to. The fire in his eyes pinned you in place just as much as the wall. 
“Are you going to do as you're told now?” His voice was low and commanding. It sent a shiver straight to your core.
You swallowed hard and nodded.
“What did I say about using your words?”
There was no describing how you were feeling, both incredibly turned on and afraid to disappoint him. “Yes.”
For a second, you were worried it was not enough and then his thrusts slowed again. Despite yourself, you whimpered. You had not realized the force would be such a turn on, but you were close. The look on his face suggested he knew you were close too. With surprising care, he pulled himself out of you and you whined in earnest. The loss of contact was painful. He only smirked as he repositioned the two of you again and carried you back to the bed. 
Hoseok dumped you onto the bed, not entirely unceremoniously, but also not with the care he had shown for a split second earlier. Before you could think anything else, he was on the bed between your legs. He pulled one of your legs over his shoulder and lined himself up at your entrance. Your eyes were trained on him, not wanting to push him too far, but also not wanting to miss anything. 
He held the leg over his shoulder to get a good grip and leaned forward to press a demanding kiss against your lips. Your mouth opened immediately and invited him in. Your bodies slammed together and you arched your back, trying to get closer. But he pulled away again and slowed the pace back down.
“Hoseok,” you whined. With anyone else, you would have worried you sounded too needy. With him, you already knew how he saw you and how he was getting off on it. 
“What do you want?” Hoseok was slowly, painfully slowly, rocking his hips into you, not quite hitting you as deeply as he was seconds earlier.
“I’m so close,” you whined again.
“I know.” His eyes sparkled as he said this.
“Please.” Your hands reached out to him, to try and somehow push him into movement again.
Instead, he grabbed your hands in one of his and pinned them over your head. He leaned over your body, stretching you deeper.
“Tell me what you want and it’s yours,” he said, voice low and enticing again.
“I want…” you began, but were distracted as he trailed kisses across your jaw.
“What do you want?” His breath ghosted your ear as he asked the question.
“ Fuck Hoseok, I want to come.” 
The words had barely come out of your mouth when he let go of your hands and resumed a quicker pace. Instead of trying to grab hold of him again, you knotted your hands into the sheets beneath you. If you had thought that he felt good earlier, it was nothing compared to this, nothing to how you could feel every bit of him and every bit of your shared desire.
You thought that you had never been one for this kind of sex that was rough and raw and full of need. That had been wrong, too, and you had never felt so much. Every nerve was on fire, every muscle tensing, your breath completely ragged. And finally, in that moment, Hoseok started to come undone as well, no longer controlling his facial expressions. 
Seeing the sheer pleasure on his face was the final straw for you. He finally let you go over the edge and your body spasmed, your walls clenching around him. His thrusts were erratic as he followed you in his own release.
There was nothing breaking the silence of the room apart from both of your heavy breaths. Hoseok was barely managing to suspend his body over yours anymore. He carefully pulled himself out and rolled over to lay next to you. Out of the corner of your eye, you watched as his chest rose and fell heavily. It was impossible to tell how long passed in comfortable silence. Could it really have been only minutes?
You sighed, completely unable to formulate words. “I suppose a thank you is in order.”
“For what?” Hoseok rolled over on his side to gaze at you, a smile playing at his lips. 
“For teaching me some of your secrets,” you answered, and the soft smile was replaced with a smirk.
“Oh, now that I’ve gotten you here, I’m nowhere near done with you.”
You swallowed, hard, at the look on his face. What had seemed like a crazy idea before you started now was something that you could easily see doing again. What was more, you realized that you wanted to do it again.
Hoseok reached out and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear thoughtfully before his eyes met yours and he smiled. “You were amazing, really. He was a fucking idiot for not realizing what he had.”
“You don’t have to be ni-...” you began.
“I’m not being nice,” he said gently, still breathless. “That was incredible.”
It was hard to look him in the eye in that moment, he had gone from passion bordering on ferocity back to being soft and supportive. The contrast was giving you whiplash, but in a way that made you just want. His finger made gentle contact with your chin as he lifted your head up again. 
“I got lost in the moment, in the best way, you were great, and he’s a fucking idiot for letting someone so great go,” Hoseok reaffirmed and you sighed, happy, content, and not even a little self conscious. 
There was no telling if this was going to happen again, no telling if Hoseok was being serious when he said he was not done with you. His face looked stripped down, more vulnerable than you could remember seeing it, as he continued to heap praise onto you easily. At that moment you were happy and full. For that moment, you were not thinking about anyone other than the nearly perfect person laying in bed with you.
Until next time , you thought. Because after that, there definitely had to be a next time.
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p-artsypants · 6 months
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Blurb #11
I'm going to try to share 70 blurbs from my WIPs and unfinished fics to celebrate reaching 70 posted fics! To help with this endeavor, please feel free to send me a word or a fandom you know I write for, and I'll share the blurb. IDK if I'll get 70 prompts, but let's try it! Send as many as you want!
“Rough day?"
“Yeah…I have a lot on my mind, trying to figure out what I’m going to do after I graduates. I haven’t gotten any replies from colleges. But…I don’t even know if I can go to school. I can’t just leave class or work if there’s an akuma attack. I just…I don’t know what to do.” she sighed.
“Among other things. Something…something happened, and shook my life plans. So I’m kind of lost.”
“I know what you mean. Sort of. That’s why I came out tonight. To think. I was hoping I’d run into you, because you always have a solution. but…I don’t want to bug you if you’re already struggling.”
“No no, actually. I’d like to think about something else for a while It might give me perspective. Lay it on me. What’s up?”
“I…I have the opposite problem. I know exactly what I’m going to do. Where I’m going to school, what I’m majoring in, where I’ll work…who I’m going to marry…” He starts crying.
“Do you not want that?”
“No. None of it is what I want. I…I just found out I’m getting married in a a little less than a month. She’s awful, my lady. She’s cruel, she hurts me and never leaves me alone, and she lies—“ He wipes his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
She wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “You don’t need to apologize. This is serious.”
“I’ll say! I—I might have to give up being Chat Noir! I can’t get a minute to myself! The only reason I’m here is because she finally went home for the night! If I can’t be Chat Noir I…I…” He covered his mouth with his hand. What he was about to say was, ‘I’d kill myself.”
Ladybug inferred that anyways. “Who’s making you do this?”
“My father. He thinks she’s wonderful, and the only one ‘worthy’ of me or something…at the risk of exposing something…I’m from a pretty wealthy family.”
“So…this is an arranged marriage.”
“Yes.”
“Have you told your father? That she’s cruel to you?”
“He doesn’t believe me. He said men can’t be abused. I don’t know what to do!”
Ladybug hugged him a little tighter. “…you’ll have to marry someone else.”
“In three days? I…I don’t know if I could pull that off. I have friends that are girls, but…I couldn’t ask them to do that.” He thought of Chloe first, because she would agree pretty quickly. So would Kagami. But he was fairly certain that they also would be attached to him every minute of the day and the Chat Noir problem wouldn’t be solved. He also thought about Marinette. Because she was a real friend, and kind and sweet and cute, and he could see himself with her. But it was unfair to ask. “I just…if I wasn’t Chat Noir, it would be easier, but if I lived with someone, it would be impossible to sneak out for patrol. I have a friend…she would probably be cool with it, but…I just don’t want to ask her to give up her life so quickly.”
Ladybug sat quietly. Thinking through everything she had heard, everything she had gone through today.
Adrien was officially off the market. There was nothing that Marinette could do to solve that crisis.
But with Chat…his partnership and defeating Hawkmoth was her number one priority as Ladybug.
And so, she had a hard decision to make. It was crazy, and wickedly selfless. Maybe even a little stupid.
“Marry me.” She stated.
He choked. “Wha—What?!”
“Marry me.” She said again, gravely serious. “I know you’re Chat. So…we can leave together for patrols. And who better to impress your father than the very famous and heroic Ladybug?”
“Wait wait wait…you’re suggesting I marry you, not as whoever you are under the mask, but as Ladybug? Like, in the suit?”
“I know it’s crazy, but…yes.”
He choked out a hysterical laugh, getting up to his feet. “It’s more than crazy! It’s insane! How…how is that—“ He fell silent, pacing over the rooftop. Each click of his boot echoing in the quiet night. “It’s genius.”
Ladybug smiled slightly at that.
“But if everyone finds out your my wife, won’t I be a target?”
“Yeah, but you’re Chat Noir. If anyone can protect themselves, it would be you.”
He opened his mouth to rebuttal, but had none.
Why was he arguing about this again?
“But My Lady…what about the other guy?”
“Other guy?”
“The guy you’re in love with?”
She nodded, realizing who he meant. “He’s…he’s engaged. And after all this time, I wasn’t even able to talk to him properly. So, I’m going to let him go.”
“And…you could be happy with me?”
“If there’s anyone I could be happy with, it’s you.”
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soleadita · 1 year
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the arospec eddie diaz post
in honor of aromantic awareness week and also me having a lot of thoughts about eddie diaz at all times, i'm going to talk about arospec eddie. sorry but not sorry. it needed to be said.
(tagging @xjustonemoremiraclex because i promised you a post about this a while ago but i had too many thoughts and no idea how to wrangle them. and ty @scattered-winter for witnessing the pure unfiltered chaos version of this unfold over dms <333)
this is sort of a spiritual successor to my queer pepa post, by which i mean it's about the possibilities!! i'm not saying i believe this is canon and i'm not saying i hope this is canon and i'm not saying it's the one and only and correct way to see eddie. i'm just saying the foundations are there, and the possibilities are fun to think about!! (and also ok fine, nothing about this man gives me any indication that he’s got a firm grasp on what romantic attraction feels like.)
disclaimers: (1) this is heavy on the projection; (2) I AM NOT SAYING I DON’T WANT BUDDIE CANON I DO WANT BUDDIE CANON I LOVE BUDDIE. this is just something i think about kind of a lot and i’m always saying i want more aro headcanons and interpretations of my beloved characters (or literally ANY characters, i'll take anything i can get), so i’m just trying to be the change i want to see in the world. (3) i really tried to make this as aro-focused as possible but it ended up being a blend of aroace + autistic because, like i said, this is projection, and for me, those three parts of me are wrapped up in each other in a way that's hard to separate; (4) re: canon and timelines, i did go and google a few things that i wasn’t sure about but other than that, most of this is pulled from my own recollections. if there’s anything glaringly and FACTUALLY incorrect, i’m so sorry, it was not intentional; (5) i tried to organize this in a way that somewhat makes sense but it's a little rambly; i hope the little subheadings help.
pre-canon | eddie & shannon
so ok. consider this:
maybe, as a teenager, eddie is captivated by shannon. she's pretty, and she's so vibrant, and she's interesting to him. he likes talking to her. he likes being around her. they're friends, but his friends, parents, sisters, whoever - they're annoying about him having a friend who's a girl. maybe his friends make suggestive comments and say shit, and maybe his parents start to ask questions, and maybe adriana is like, “oooh, eddie and shannon,” in that annoying (affectionate) way only little siblings can achieve. and at first he's irritated, but then he starts to overthink and wonder. “do i actually like-like her? well, what does that even mean? what does that feel like?”
and maybe he asks his parents or abuela, and they feed him lines that can basically double as a description for friendship: "someone you want to be close to, someone you can talk to, someone you can be yourself around, someone you like to spend time with." (entirely possible that the list would be different for people raised as cis dudes, idk actually, but this is what i grew up hearing.) and what if eddie takes this and thinks, “well...i guess i do feel like that about shannon?” and then maybe they touch a little more—they hold hands, they hug—and one day, she kisses him, and he's like, “well ok this is nice, i guess,” and he does like affection, his dad has always wanted him to be tough but he misses being little when abuela would pull him into her lap, and when it was ok to ask for hugs, and when his mom would kiss him on the forehead before he went to bed.
so he kisses shannon back, and that's just like something they do now? and he rolls with it. and he does care about her and he does love her but he just...? he just doesn't know what it feels like to be In Love. but that's ok, because he's still young, and this doesn't have to be forever, and maybe it's too soon to know anyway. he has fun with her. he likes being around her. and isn't that more important than knowing for sure whether or not he's in love with her?
and eventually they start having sex (obviously because, as we know, christopher exists), and, again, it's...ok? it's not the worst thing in the world, and he’s always heard that the first few times aren’t great, but he really just thinks it's overhyped and he'd rather, like, sit and listen to music with her and talk or something. but again, it's Something People Do, so he does it.
and then, you know, she's pregnant, and he panics, and they get married because he feels like they have to, and maybe it's actually almost a relief. because now he doesn't have to overthink whether or not he's in love with her, because that doesn’t matter anymore. they're getting married regardless. they're having a child regardless.
anyway, i know this isn't necessarily a groundbreaking interpretation of their relationship; i think this is probably how a lot of the fandom would interpret them (although i do tend to live in a little echo chamber, so i could be wrong). and i think this interpretation usually paves the way for gay eddie, sometimes demi/ace eddie. and that's totally valid!!! i love a gay eddie fic!! i am SO grateful for the abundance of ace eddie in the fandom!!
but lately i've been having a fun time looking at this and thinking about an arospec and/or aroace autistic eddie who falls into a relationship with shannon because it feels like an unspoken rule, a logical next step, something that others want for and expect from him. a tactile eddie who wants physical affection in ways that aren't socially acceptable for him to get anywhere else, and because he's not really sure what love in a romantic sense is supposed to feel like anyway, but he likes spending time with her, so why not? a quietly rebellious eddie who has sex because he is sorta curious, and his parents wouldn’t approve, and his friends are doing it, and people generally seem to enjoy it, and he tries it, and he's just like, “hm. whelp. that was that i guess.” an eddie who is not all that great at interoception?? who is not entirely sure how to interpret feelings in the first place??
season 2 | eddie & shannon 2.0
ok, so this is also well-established: we all know that when shannon comes back, eddie isn't thinking about what he wants. or, like, he is ostensibly, but he's thinking about what he wants for chris. he wants chris to have his mom around. he wants to "be a family" (god forgive him he knows not what he says, he knows not of the amatonormativity in which literally everything is steeped). yeah, he falls back into hooking up with her and then some sort of weird tentative relationship, but like: patterns of behavior. masking. once you Are a certain way with someone, it can be hard to Not be that way with them.
and i can't remember how much of this is canonically established or fanon embellishment, but there's the element of eddie feeling some sort of obligation (shannon is still technically his wife, maybe he owes it to her, to chris, to try again?) and searching for some form of absolution? (yeah, shannon is the one who left most recently and most permanently, but he left first, he made the first cracks, and maybe if he can make it work this time, he can forgive himself?)(<- i do not personally think this about him myself but it is something i can see eddie's gorgeous little traumatized season 2 brain coming up with.)
there’s also an argument to be made that maybe he thinks it would be easier for other reasons, too. like, yeah, it would be so much easier to have a household with two adults. it would be so much easier to have more childcare options for chris, less questions from places like chris's school, someone else to help with managing things like grocery shopping and making dinner and running errands and laundry (i swear to god i'm not listing these things because they're like "women's work" and shannon's a woman, it's just those are the things i fucking struggle with so they're at the top of my mind). they'd be a fucking dual income household. like. that shit would be LIFE CHANGING.
(are these things i've thought a lot about in relation to being autistic and aro…who can say…who can say.......)
seasons 4-5a | eddie & ana
i mean. i think this is also self-explanatory at this point, and eddieana has been dissected to shreds. i'll just say that pretty much every piece of evidence for gay eddie in this scenario could also apply to arospec (and aroace) eddie. (and it's not like he can’t be, like, gay ace, but we all know when fandom talks about gay eddie, it’s usually gay allo eddie. and i’m NOT AGAINST that (really, i love all queer eddie headcanons, they're SO SPECIAL), but. you know. it's like this post.)
ok, wait, no. i’ll say a little more. consider this:
maybe eddie was so weird around ana because the way he masked around her was, like, a little stiff and overly formal; partly because the first time he met her it was at a parent/teacher conference, and partly he was trying to perform the role of Good Date/Boyfriend, and then she ended up in his house and around his kid (outside of the classroom context) sooner than he originally planned, putting him in the awkward position of, "fuck, how do i be at-home-with-christopher-me and also trying-to-date-ana me?"
or maybe he just didn't know her well enough to have that basis of friendship he had with shannon (remember i'm extrapolating here, i don't think we know whether or not shannon and eddie were friends first, i think that's just something from the autistic!eddie series of all time that i've integrated into my eddie backstory fanon forever), so he just straight up didn't care about her the same way!! literally just in a “oh, i actually don’t know if i really enjoy this person’s company” way, and then in a “oh we’re not vibing as expected” way. only instead of peacing out once he realizes that, he fucking DOUBLES DOWN.
there's also, of course, the department store panic attack. feeling trapped. trying to convince himself that she is what he wants. that maybe if he stays long enough he'll change his mind. and i know this can all be attributed to MANY things; i'm just saying the entire eddieana arc was really relatable to me, local aroace autistic, who has fallen into Situations not entirely unlike this prior to realizing i am in fact aroace.
season 2-onward | eddie & buck
i don't have TOO much to say here, mostly because i know we all know the buddie moments inside and out, and there are so many beautiful posts that already exist about the depth of their relationship, and i don't really have anything new to contribute.
i guess i just wanted to say regardless of whether or not it's ever a canonized romance, it's SO clear to me that they care SOOOOO deeply for each other and in a way that transcends most people's framework for friendship. and i absolutely do not want to devalue platonic relationships or found family dynamics, because THOSE ARE SOOOO IMPORTANT, but like. okay. chim and hen? platonic soulmates. bobby and buck? father/son dynamic. chim and buck? brothers. hen and athena? besties.
buck and eddie? i look at them and i'm like WELL. it doesn't have to be romantic but it's also definitely not like, "oh yeah we're friends!" or even "we're brothers for life." like. they love each other, and in a different way than the rest of the firefam loves each other. and that's one of my favorite things about them as a ship; even without any elements of romantic or sexual attraction, they'd still like...fight like hell for each other. they're still home for each other. idk. can't think about it too hard otherwise it destroys me but in a good way.
ok that's all. <3
some miscellaneous things that make me giggle
(1) THE WAY EDDIE IS CANONICALLY SOOOOOOOOO DISINTERESTED IN DATING. COULD NOT CARE LESS. WOMEN FLIRTING WITH HIM ON A CALL? ANNOYANCE.* "I HAVE A KID THEY'RE NOT MY TYPE" ??????? SIR????????
*this is really valid, actually, aro or not; like, he's just trying to fucking do his job, please leave him alone!! that said, it also amuses me greatly.
not to fucking mention he's told ana (or maybe ana just inferred?) that there hasn't been anyone else since shannon. which is really interesting and could be interpreted in SO many ways (like...there haven't been any other women, but we all know buck's been there? not to mention the rest of the 118?), but to me, it also sounds like NOT REALLY INTERESTED IN SEEKING PEOPLE OUT AT ALL, regardless of gender. <333
(2) he never so much as LOOKS at maddie. granted, she’s almost immediately paired up with chim, and she's buck's sister but?? jennifer love hewitt is GORGEOUS. i am Looking i am Looking so hard and with no particular motive other than to admire because, you know, ace. but i'm just saying.
(3) he's soooooo embarrassed and constantly trying to downplay his relationship with ana in front of other people. like, the man does NOT WANT HER in the firehouse, he does NOT WANT HER around the 118. RELATABLE!! JUST SAYING!!
people start giving him a hard time about going to the christening because that means "it's getting serious" and he shuts that shit down immediately. "it's not that serious." PLEASE. PLEASE.
(that was fucking hilarious to me by the way because like. straight up denial. that IS serious, eddie, i'm sorry, but you are going to CHURCH with that LATINA AND HER ENTIRE FAMILY AND THEN TO A PARTY AFTERWARDS PROBABLY.)
in conclusion...
i guess i just feel really soft about the idea of characters who did things because they were doing what they thought they "should" do, and/or they didn't realize there were other options, and/or they didn't realize what they were feeling wasn't what other people feel. and i also feel really soft about people having ace and/or aro realizations, especially after struggling through a few relationships and feeling shitty and confused. AND i also feel really soft about eddie diaz.
💚💚💚💚💚
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bwabys-scenarios · 1 month
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hey, so would it be okay for this to just be read and not answered? i want to respect everyone's privacy.
so, i used to be in your old discord you now privated and that's totaly fine! whatever makes u most comfy! i kinda put two and two together with the person u were talking about on here and someone who left that discord like 2 weeks ago. IF its the same person im thinking of, then they are currently being harassed, called a c*nt, delusional, anon is asking for usernames of people, which they refuse to give and dont want to speak about the situation further (they honestly arent even talking about it and seem to be moved on? idk what anon is on about). essentially a very similar message to yours of dont harass anyone or ask questions further, we both will move on etc i saw it and your message that hate wont be tolerated and i really hope whoever the anon is isnt sending you hate either... it's a weird situation and idk what to do other than bring it to attention, even tho i know you want to move on and heal from this person, i also feel strongly about cyberbullying and people who are nosy and want to get involved for no reason. i just wish healing for everyone involved<3 anyway, that's all and i hope that you are doing well regardless! im wishing you a lovely day or night mwah<3
No, anons haven’t sent me any hate at all, this is actually fucking disgusting. Maybe I haven’t gotten the hate yet? Either way I’m assuming it’s someone from my old server or someone sending them hate just to cause more drama between the two of us.
So big announcement, if you’re sending hate to anyone on my behalf, I want you to fucking show yourself. I want you to apologize. I already asked everyone to not send any hate to anyone, it’s not hard at all to do.
I made a mistake making it public(though I did not mention their name once on tumblr), and this is a very harsh lesson to learn. I have the person that’s receiving this hate blocked or I would personally apologize to them, but if they see this, that’s not what I wanted at all. If you find out who is sending you the hate you can contact me and I’ll make sure they get reported. You can also report anonymous messages, and it should still affect their account! I did this in the past and it got someone’s account who was bullying me taken down.
I never mentioned the persons name publicly but I did vent about them in my discord after the big falling out because I was so frustrated. I didn’t want more people to know who they were after I calmed down so I kicked everyone I didn’t trust.
If someone I trusted did this, it breaks my fucking heart. This is not what we do, this shouldn’t be tolerated by anyone. Idc what anyone did in this situation, she didn’t do anything worthy of receiving hate. No one should get that kind of shit. No one.
I would have hoped people had some common fucking decency. This literally pissed me tf off.
It’s a big lesson, even if you think you can trust people with information, you always have to be careful. That’s why I made a whole new server with no drama and no vents or anything to prevent this. It’s partially my fault, even if I didn’t say their username on my tumblr I did say it in my discord server. At the time it only had around 20ish people, but soon after I posted in vent I made the vent channel private and kicked 10 people, the unprivated the vent channel after. Before we had a falling out I didn’t mention them at all, and it should have stayed that way.
I haven’t checked their account since I blocked them, but they should be able to block the anonymous accounts. I’m pretty sure it blocks alts as well? Because when I block someone at least I’m unable to see the account on my alt. Idk about being blocked though. Sorry I don’t usually try to go to someone’s account after I’ve been blocked.
I’d recommend turning off anons for a while, it’s what I did after the fallout because I was afraid of getting bad anonymous asks as well. And at the time before I turned it off I did receive a few nasty asks about me being dramatic etc, but I didn’t really give it much thought.
People enjoy drama and stirring the pot. I think I’ll also turn off anon and limit my messages to people I follow only for a bit just to be safe 😭
If you send anyone hate on my behalf, you are scum. I don’t tolerate bullies, that situation has been over with for nearly a week now, and we both moved on. There’s no reason to send hate to anyone.
I’m sorry, in the future I’ll be more mindful of who I vent to. It’s just not okay, I thought I could trust my server of FULLY GROWN ADULTS to act like adults should, but clearly fucking not. I’m not only disappointed, but also angry and upset.
If you think sending someone hate on my behalf helps me at all, you’re wrong. All it does it hurt others and cause more problems for me. This has brought back all the stress of the situation when I felt like I finally moved on from it.
I’m sorry, again, it’s my fault for trusting the wrong people. I’ll keep my venting between my closest friends from now on. This is just not acceptable behavior, who the fuck sends someone anonymous hate over INTERNET DRAMA? Go outside, touch some grass, interact with someone in the real world!
I offer all of my apologies to the person affected. Not mentioning their name, but I really hope this message clears everything up. I don’t want anyone sending ANYONE hate.
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Fine then. Stay gone
Ooc: idk what ur problem is but I’m an adult with a life????????? Genuinely whoever you are I need you to wrap it around your thick fucking skull I can do whatever I please.
If I really wanted too I could can and will just abandon blogs as I fucking please.
These mlp blogs are for me not you or anybody who feels entitled to reading a fucking mlp blog. There’s a lot of good ones that are not mine go support other people lmao
Anyway I’m turning off anonymous asks bc you didn’t know how to act right.
Anyway I’ll post more when I have the time 🫶
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eurydicees · 2 months
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idk how I missed all of ur posts about the hq pacrim au until this morning??? but now that ive been exposed im so excited oh my god (I am Very Normal about both of these things)
anyway what does raptor three look like? is it just a crimson typhoon kinda setup? who works on her? (ik u said hanamaki and matsukawa were jaeger techs but these r big ol bots and I can't imagine those two work on All of them especially when they designed Blue Castle so they know her specifically in and out)
also kuroken k-sci division, pls tell me more about kuroken k-sci division🙏🙏🙏
oh my god SO sorry this took me a hundred years to get to! i got busy and lost track of this au…but it has been reborn in the form of my nanowrimo project LOL. you (and anyone/everyone) should continue to ask me about the pacific rim au please and thank you. so many things have changed since my first posts !!!!! 
also this ask did remind me that kuroken were going to be the scientists, which i had lowkey almost forgotten about when i restarted the fic on april 1, so ty ty ty for that. here’s some more about them and the jaegers under the cut ! 
kuroken: 
first off, they didn’t know each other before coming to work at the shatterdome together! the only people who knew each other before coming together in tokyo were iwaizumi and oikawa, the rest of the haikyuu characters involved have never met before. there will be no explanation for this
kenma was recruited in his first year of university because he was posting his theories and amateur research online and it caught the attention of people with resources who wanted to see if he could find anything if given access to more tech and info than his dorm room gamer setup 
turns out that yes, yes he can find things if given more resources. he’s the one who comes up with the theory about kaiju attack patterns and the increasing rate etc etc 
kuroo, for his part, became a researcher in the science dept after incessantly sending his findings to whoever he could get in contact with, knowing he was On To Something and needed resources to share it
kenma is one of the people he gave his research to (twitter besties!), and kenma invited him to the tokyo shatterdome to work together
turns out that working together is frustrating sometimes but they love nothing more than to constantly annoy each other <3 but they do respect each other’s work even if they don’t always agree on methods or conclusions 
ex. kuroo’s research was founded on samples he got from the black market; kenma’s research is all too theoretical for kuroo; etc etc 
daichi and suga’s jaeger 
so ngl i forgot that asahi was originally a part of this
he is not longer a part of this
rip raptor three
anyways daichi and suga now pilot a mark-3 together called raptor flight. i’m imagining something like saber athena, which is from uprising but who cares. i can do whatever i want 
most important features of raptor-2: fastest model to date, extremely acrobatic/dextrous/agile, equipped with ionic twinblades (she gets two swords <3 ) that can be synced/combined into one stronger weapon (are you seeing the references i am making. are you seeing them), and an n-16 particle charger (plasma cannon thing) 
i’ve decided that asahi is the main tech for raptor-2 (hey he’s still here! yay!). he was also the main designer and tech for daichi and his sister’s jaeger, ursa juliet, before his sister dies and the model is ripped apart 
daichi is on the right in both raptor-2 and ursa juliet; suga is on the left in raptor-2 
iwaoi’s jaeger
blue castle is going to be vaguely modeled after striker eureka 
trivia fun fact of the day: striker eureka was planned to be the main jaeger in the movie until they were like well actually this robot is too cold and arrogant appearing to be the hero robot. this is deeply funny to me and also why it is perfect for blue castle 
blue castle is a mark-2 and was an experimental design by two intern jaeger tech development scientists, hanamaki and matsukawa (who get promoted to active jaeger techs as soon as blue castle is successfully put into use) - as the years go on, this design becomes a pretty common basis to design off of for future models 
most important features: extremely strong, aerodynamic, stable, and agile, equipped with 4.211 brass knuckles (exactly what it sounds like) and assault mount 3.25 sting blades (two swords attached to arms), missile launcher mounted in the chest, and advanced displays in the conn-pod which allow them a 4-way view of their surroundings
also not unexpected, but worth saying: iwaizumi is on the left, oikawa on the right 
jaeger visuals
ok so i wrote all of that out and then i found the pacific rim: uprising jaeger design maker thingy online here and i decided i’m bored enough to do that actually. these aren’t , like, exactly what i’m imagining, so kinda mush together the canon jaeger references with these generated images lol. i’m gonna try so hard to describe them in the fic. we’ll see how that goes. 
anyways, blue castle to the left and raptor-2 on the right! and below is striker eureka to the left and saber athena to the right. anyways i’m having SO much fun with this jaeger generator from 2018 lmfao can you tell 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
overall. aaaaaa.
im so excited to be coming back to this. anyways more in my #hq pacrim au tag (though much of that is outdated) or eventually also in my #april nano 2024 tag !!!! and pls pls pls come talk to me about it !!!!!
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sinterblackwell · 1 year
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Hi! I read your tags on the aro!LQG post and I wanna talk about it a little if you don't mind? (Disclaimer I'm rlly awkward so if anything sounds rude pls know I don't mean it to be.)
Okay so I feel like when Madam Meiyin talked about SQQ's fated person LQG did think that it was him, because I'm pretty sure no one else knew LBH was still alive by then (cmiiw)? To be fair the traits could be used to describe LQG which is hilarious so it's probably deliberate for comedic effect. When I read about LQG getting more aggravated by Madam Meiyin's prediction, I deadass thought he was just baffled like "why is this random demon telling that I'm SQQ's soulmate??? this is definitely bullshit we shouldn't continue listen to her." and so the rest is history hahah. I had thought it was really funny for LQG to be self-conscious about the prediction and so unhappy about it.
Anyway yeah that's it. Sorry for bothering you I just want to talk :')
first things first, you didn’t bother me at all!! this ask actually made me smile because i don’t engage a lot with the svsss fandom…or just any fandom in general, in discussions so i was happy to see someone reach out to me to just get to talk. second of all, i did a reread of that scene purely to see from a better pov than i did when i first read it and it truly is something.
**what is even more something is how much i write, hence why i put this “keep reading” sign.
hopefully any of it is salvageable :’)
the laughable thing about all this is that i genuinely feel like sqq regarding that scene in that … it just did not occur to me that lqg could possibly have been who madam meiyin was talking about. there was not a single brain-cell that considered lqg was thinking along those lines as you said where he was like “what the hell, is this stranger insinuating i’m sqq’s soulmate?”. while sqq didn’t consider any guys at all, in my case, i think i was very biased bc of how much i love bingqiu that any other character who may have an infatuation with our mc just wasn’t in the cards for me.
reading your own interpretation of that scene, i feel dumb now because it just seems so obvious. i said in my tags of that post you mentioned that that prediction can go both ways and madam meiyin’s words can apply to both lqg & lbh, i think.
“Your fated person has very little interest in others,” Madam Meiyin went on. “But once they find someone, their devotion is absolute.”
“A first-class beauty, peerless among all humans.” Madam Meiyin said with certainty.
i would also say this one below but i’m not too sure, since if we’re applying it to lbh, that “first meeting” would have been when he met sj!sqq, not sy!sqq so idk if the lines are just blurred there.
“Your first meeting was unhappy, and there might even have been loathing involved,” said Madam Meiyin. “But after a critical moment, that all began to change, and thoroughly so.”
but i can definitely understand now why the fandom are so rattled when it comes to lqg and his feelings for sqq, whatever they are. it now makes me curious to see fics that explore that, but i’ve also just been very wary of reading any svsss fic that isn’t centered around bingqiu as the main pairing😅
thank you for giving me your thoughts on that scene!! it honestly makes a lot of sense in reflection, and i feel like it definitely hits hard because whoever this “fated soulmate” this madam was talking about was, for both lqg & lbh, it reveals a certain depth in the impact that sqq has had on these two characters that they just end up sort of blurring the lines in this prediction.
which makes what happens during those years where lbh held onto sqq’s corpse and lqg constantly chased after him so much more heavy to think about…..
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oddballwriter · 2 years
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EMH guys w/ an s/o Working on a Project
Summary: You have a project that you’re very invested in or is really time consuming. How would the EMH boys react to that?
Warnings: HABIT is here, mentions of murder and forgetting to eat and drink
Relationship: romantic
Author’s Snip: I got done writing an 11 paragraph essay for one of my classes yesterday and I needed to do a lot of stuff for it. So I’m choosing to make a self indulgent post for it. Maybe y’all need this too. So here you go. If you guys want I’ll make one for the Marble Hornets guys too, or I’ll make it myself. Who knows.
꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦
Evan
He asks questions about it
“What’s it for?” “What are you doing for it?” “Can I help?” 
He’s set on that last question by the way
He wants to help in anyway that he can just to make it a little more easier on you
If it’s and essay, he can read it for you so you can see if there’s any mistakes or weird/un-needed sentences
If it’s a physical diagram or something like that then he’ll help you make it
If it’s an experiment then he’d honestly be okay with being your little test subject/participate
So long as it has nothing to do with something that would be skewed because of a bias 
He’d make sure that this project isn’t taking up all your time and making you miss things like eating or drinking water, and also taking a break
“You’ve been at that for a while, how ‘bout you take a break so you don’t hurt your eyes.” 
He’s so supportive of you 
When you get the grade back and it’s a good one then he’s so happy for you 
Vinny
When you tell him that you’re working on a project he goes “Oh cool.”
And that’s kinda it
He feels like it’s not that much of a deal
If you’re excited and invested in the project then obviously he’s gonna be supportive and wish you the best but that’s it
He might text you every once in a while asking how it’s going
But that’s all
Jeff
He also makes sure that you’re not skipping meals, drinking water, and taking breaks
He’s glad that you’re taking your project so seriously but he’s still gonna check and make sure you’re okay
Jeff likes to watch you work on your project 
He finds you se attractive when you’re so enveloped in what you’re doing 
If you’re writing an essay then honestly he’s gonna end up falling asleep because of the sound of you typing is soothing to him
I wanna say that he’s gonna cuddle you while you work, but only if you want to and it won’t distract you 
HABIT
He’s kind of intrigued by what you’re doing
Idk, you’re working so hard on this project, he wants to see what all the fuss is about
It’s probably also because you’re focusing on something that’s not him
Attention whore (/affectionate)
If you’re stressed about this project, he might offer to kill whoever assigned it, but obviously you tell like no
If the project is an experiment then he’d get excited, but then promptly bummed that you can’t do anything “cool”
What he considers “cool” would violate ethical experiment guidelines
Like...
... all of them
If it’s an essay or more so a research essay for something historical, he’s got you covered
Bby he was THERE
So long as you don’t need to cite that info them he’s telling you all the juicy details about it
You’ll probably get a bit distracted cause your so enamored by his stories about it
He’s probably such a good storyteller tbh 
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I was tagged by @drippling-thoughts to do this, thank you !!
I’m really sorry but I’m so exhausted this is lowkey going to be a crack version of the ask (but I didn’t want to put it off any longer and risk forgettign it). So without further ado let’s skip to the task at hand:
Chose an artist you like and use the name of their songs to answer this as close to the truth as possible!
1) Name of the artist I selected: Kacey Musgraves (but only songs from Golden Hour,be cause those are the only ones I listen to lol. Don’t ask me why I chose to limit myself like that idk either) oh and also I’m not taking the actual lyrics into account at all, this is solely based off of the song titles
2)What is your gender?: Slow Burn or Space Cowboy depends on the day I guess (yes I’m aware that the associations I make here probably don’t make any sense to anyone else)
3) Describe yourself: Wonder Woman (lol as I said this is not very serious, but we’re trying not to use self deprecating humor anymore so...)
4) How do you feel?: Happy & Sad
5) If you could go anywhere, where would it be?: Oh, What a world
6)who is/describe your best friend: Butterflies
7) Your favorite time of the day: Golden Hour
8) if your life was a TV show what would it be called?:  Love is a wild Thing (the irony of it would be nice, also trying not to use the same song twice and the options are limited, plus my life as a tv show is literally something nobody would watch tbh)
9)What is life to you? : Oh, what a world (definitely one of my fave songs from the album btw)
10)Relationship status: Lonely weekend
11) What do you fear?: Velvet Elvis
Anyways this was actually a lot of fun so thank you @drippling-thoughts and please excuse my tired rambling
Soo I’m tagging whoever feels like doing it and share with me plus @its-going-les-bien @calliettes-posts (almost searched for boredom-posts, which will forever be associated with you) @illgiveyouahint @lovedust4starlust @mostlyiwant-tobekind @eskamtrash in case any of you case want to join the fun :)
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I’m so mad at people on twitter replying angrily to the stranger things’ writers who posted a Stancy pic to wish Happy holidays to the point they had to post a J*ncy pic too! If they listen to this “audience” and change the course of their arc I swear to god I don’t know what I’ll do. People are so delusional out there idk why the writers can take their complaints into consideration tbh. Saying Stancy are a couple of “besties” is so completely laughable… I just, can’t stand this. 😪 In better news (in case you’re not on twitter), Stancy’s tweet has twice the likes and retweets than the J*ncy one 🥹❤️ (4k+ RTs and 50k+likes!!!)
Anyway, speaking of holidays, I wanted to wish you very warm holidays and that 2023 treats you well! Thank you for always being so nice while answering your asks, I love reading your opinions even if I’m not in the fandom you’re writing/answering about! You’re a lovely person who deserves lovely things 💋 💐💗
I wasn't even aware this was happening. I don't have twitter so thank you for telling me about this! Wow that's just...completely wild. I really fricking hope the writers don't switch things up because of the audience. Angry people on social media do not represent the opinion of the majority. A lot of people I've talked to IRL ship Stancy and anyways, clearly these fans don't know the characters very well or have their best interests at heart if they ship Nancy with J*nathan instead of Steve so the writers better stick with what they're doing and keep the characters' best interests in mind.
Also yay for the Stancy post being more popular!! That gives me hope!
thank you so much anon!! 🥺 this warmed my heart so much and i really appreciate it!! i hope you're having a wonderful holiday season and that your new year will be the best yet!! whoever you are you're also a lovely person who deserves lovely things 💛💛💛
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brockachu · 2 years
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actually, shane wright being a bit of a dick and also expressing a normal human emotion makes me more invested in him and the Seattle Kraken!
the expectations and responsibilities placed on him as privileged white kid who will probably end up making more money than I can really conceive off may not be comparable to players of color’s experiences or my own but expressing frustration with them is a normal human reaction he should not be punished for.
lmaaooo so the thing is … if you have followed me long enough, you will know that i am a right ol bitch who in turn likes hockeys who are a little obstinate, a little rough spoken, or also just right ol bitches. not gonna delve into all of that bc that’s a can of worms about my psychology & imprinting behaviors. but point is — i feel that, anon. i could be convinced to be interested in whatever it is lil mr wright gets going over in seattle. of course, as a canucks fan, i also think it’d be fun for the VAN-SEA rivalry to take off. so i might have to make wright my gleeful lil enemy (i am also still waiting for mccann to declare his vendetta against VAN as the team that drafted him & cast him aside. i think narratively it would be very funny if we made our own worst nightmare. i also hated that he was traded so i think he deserves to be mean to us.) ANYWAY
look, yeah, i frankly think it is a Weird argument to be asking whether or not we can or should empathize with a privileged white kid just bc disadvantaged kids of color exist. like to begin with, that’s a fucked up framework that automatically puts people of color in a category that pities us instead of treating us with dignity & believing in our agency. like we should care about kids of color getting equal opportunity & equitable treatment bc they are ppl who we value, not bc we feel bad about them vs white kids (does that make sense? idk i should prolly be sleeping instead of drafting this answer). More Over, emphasizing again the things i said in my original post & the other answer — you don’t have to believe this guy (or anyone in a similar situation) is the best person or that he’s ‘not privileged’ (another not great framework) to just understand that hyper-criticizing behavior only reinforces a norm. a norm which many of us have expressed mild to complete disdain for �� so why are we helping to reinforce it? and again, how strict we are about respectability on the most privileged in a group is Always enforced harshest on whoever is deemed expendable/not wanted by the hegemonic norm.
so yeah, i find it weird that y’all wanna get mad at this one white boy for saying a pretty lackluster thing to express his disappointment. and i think trying to police that reinforces a culture that doesn’t let anyone express themself, which tends to get enforced to the most extreme on players of color. and even if this were somehow just about him (which for the record, the culture we enforce on any individual is never in a vacuum), as stated here by this anon — expressing frustration or disappointment or just any emotion at all, just bc it’s not a ‘pleasant’ emotion, isn’t something i’m interested in villainizing.
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