#idk. maybe dying really wont be so bad. maybe it wont be painful. i dont know. i really dont. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thegongoozlerreacts · 10 months

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Cemetery Mary: Reginald's Route

now im in the final stretch!! its time to play Reginald's route!! this time i will not look at the ending guide like i did for my other playthroughs bc idrc abt which ending i get first (i'll use the guide for getting the other ending)

i'll just try to avoid accidentally getting the true ending which shouldnt be too hard

now its time to play!! (spoilers below)

why did Reginald go to the cemetery also how did he finish that book so quickly?? welp now its time to meet up w him there he'll probably tell Mary why he's there anyways

OH HE MAKES COFFINS?????? ok then

LOL the way Mary's eyes light up at the fact that he's a coffin maker

look at her she's so cute

he has a portfolio?? of coffins he's designed?? i mean i guess that makes sense cuz its a job and he needs like, proof i guess of his skill n stuff?? idk this is just stuff ive never thought of when i think of coffins or ppl who make them

SHE'S ADORABLE MARY I LOVE U

'I'd love to be buried in one of those one day!' took me out i mean,,, im not that surprised cuz well yk but idk this is just?? so funny??

hmm interesting thing abt Reginald that i noticed is that he always says or does stuff that would make Mary happy bc he wants her to be happy i mean it makes sense cuz he's obsessed w her i guess?? tbh i know he's the killer cuz of the twyla good ending but i still dont know his motives or objective also that line about 'stop killing me, ok?' has been echoing in my head

like wtf do u mean?? what does that mean????? is it like a time travel thing?? when he said that i thought that in other endings there would be a scene where he died or smth idk but its only in twyla's good ending do we see him die all the other endings he just stops contacting her for no reason will he die in the endings of this route or smth???

i am so confused is Crowven her cousin or not he must be right???? theres literally an option right now that says 'crowven's my cousin' so ok wtv i will pick that cuz he is her cousin

OH THEYRE NOT BLOOD-RELATED i finally got an answer theyre just family friends

oh no is Crowven gonne die in this route or in one of the endings bc i hope not Crowven dying in the twyla bad ending emotionally scarred Mary and me and that was just an ending

if he dies during the route then i'll have to see more of Mary's grief and DUDE that would be so painful i literally cant

Reginald do not kill Crowven dont kill him!!!

"...And if ever really gets on your nerves, you can always give me a call." THIS IS JUST knowing he's the killer makes this line so fucking ominous also just further proof that he killed Theodore in the Crowven route like definitely

nahh Reginald's planning a murder for Crowven already pls,,, no,,,, ahh now its time for the diner part how will this go with Reginald i wonder

he didnt see anything cuz he was the guy!!! he's the one!!!

skipping ahead now here we are to the funeral scene and now we are out of the funeral scene LOL

shopping w Reginalddd for his murder weapons why is he making it a game?? maybe just to cheer her up since she was at a funeral??

AN AXE?????? and antifreeze bUT AN AXE????

"What else would you use an axe for?" oh my sweet innocent Mary,,,,

i feel like he let her win on purpose but im not sure LOL depends on what the prize is i guess

"You haven't been spying on me, have you?" hahahahhahahahhahh UR THE ONE WHO IS SPYING ON HER

do i talk about the axe or do i talk about the rat poison

hmm i think i'll go w the rat poison

REGINALD TEXTING HER AFTER SHE TALKS TO THE MYSTERY NUMBER

you're not slick, im onto youuu

oho so he's gonna show her how he makes coffins

at least i know that he wont kill her

that is some really crunchy grass

LMAOAOOAOAO I WASNT EXPECTING HIM TO LOOK LIKE THAT

he looks dead inside im cackling

Mary notices it too imm

aww thats cute but he's still a murderer

why was he so like mad/tired tho?? whats up w his earlier expression??? also his eyebags just disappeared after he realized its Mary LMAOAOA tbh thats valid thats fair

Reginald looks very nice in that outfit i kinda want his clothes

aww Mary's so excited... to step inside the coffin... still she's so cute have fun in the coffin bc i know that he isnt gonna kill u

DID HE JUST LEAVE HER IN THE COFFIN??????

bro wtf just happened

um. wtf. hey who messed up the manga

like first of all how could u do that??? to a book?? and to a library book!??!?!?

second of all

what the FUCK is this

this seems important but im not sure how

OH FUCK THE BOOK IS ALIVE WTF WTF WTF ITS CURSED ITS DEMONIC

oopsies she burned it

i feel bad cuz it was a library book BUT its deserved like completely deserved that thing was fucking cursed creepypasta style

she's gonna go inside of a church and just the mention of a church, for some reason, made me nervous

pls i hope nothing bad happens cuz it will be worse when it happens in a church

lol she feels an overwhelming sense of dread i think thats a normal thing to feel inside a church esp if u've not been in one theres just some kind of heaviness snd weight when ur in a church

oh is it because of the cursed manga???? bc she came into contact w it and now she's in a church??

nah im feeling scared gosh pls dont make a scene

the music is really adding to that vibe of nausea and dread

YO WTFF

bro its definitely cuz of the cursed manga she just threw up whatever demonic shit she got from it

HELP ME AM I GONNA HAVE TO MAKE MARY SAY SHE'S REGINALD'S GF IMMMMMMMM

why cant she just say she was invited by Reginald as like emotional support or smth why gf..... well ok

MARY NO STAY AWAY FROM THE COFFIN PLS..... MARY

ok Reginald interrupted at just the right moment at least it was him and not some random stranger do i go his place or the bus stop??????

hmm lets go to the bus stop

ok nvm guess we're going to his place anyways

i am wondering how the coffin and the manga are connected if they even are LMAO

im also wondering if Reginald is dead, like a ghost or something but nah thats not possible twyla knows abt him and has talked abt him to Mary so he's not a ghost maybe a zombie???? but also thats probably not it either

i feel so bad for Mary :(( but also what the FUCK is happening

OH MY GOD ITS THE EYE OF NIGHT VALE

im joking but OH MY GOD ITS THE EYE FROM THE MANGA

it was definitely cursed

oh was it a dream??

GOOD MORNING???? WAS SHE THERE ALL NIGHT??? or is he joking cuz he's still in his funeral clothes

ok he was just joking

hhhh idk if i should ask Crowven to stay or not cuz like idk???

ok i feel bad for making Mary all alone but it'll be fine right??? right???

knowing that the mystery number and Reginald are the same person makes sense honestly still its really a surprise cuz Reginald seems so nice n stuff but oopsies guess he's only nice to Mary in a twisted sort of way

whY WOULD U GO BACK TO THE CHURCH MARY PLS

aaAAaaahhhh she's talking to the priest i have no idea what to say so i will pick the middle option

idk what abt it but there's just something about the light shining on the priest, but Mary is covered in the priest's shadow something about that is just interesting

burning a wish?? THE MANGA????

tbh i cant believe that its shoujo manga of all things to be cursed(??) but also like alright sure

ominous note what the fuck does it mean

does it have smth to do w Reginald?? did Reginald write the note?? did he find some way to constantly reverse time bc of Mary or something??

'Makes me wonder how many variations I will see' gives me time travel vibes is this connected to Reginald's 'please stop killing me' thing?? probably

took a quick break from playing the game and ranted about my theories to my brother and he was like '???? wtf r u talking about'

back to playing

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN WTF IS THIS NOTE is god real in this game?? cuz theres an afterlife and ghosts but what abt god???

Mary u r so nice u r so sweet i love u

OH MY GOD ITS THE EYE THE EYE!!! FROM THE MANGA AND ITS THE SAME WRITING TOO

"After all, it's not like a grave would be going anywhere" u jinxed it u just jinxed it when u look for it it will be gone i swear

if i had done the Reginald route before the twyla good end i would be like 'aww the cemetery reminds Reggie of Mary how cute :))' but the alarms are going off in my head at that

oh fuck its twyla ok i wanna say 'wtf is happening' but i already know why twyla's so pissed off

but still damn

"I'm not a mean person" twyla more like twy-lie cuz ur a fucking liar

is that graffiti on the wall the same as the grave

OH THERES AN EYE LOOKING AT MARY

lol twyla i think Reginald's gonna kill u for yelling at Mary "I'll get her to apologize to you" yooo Reg..... maybe chill "I'll be sure that she is sorry" YOO????

hmm makes me wonder why Mary never got any of twyla's messages tho

did Reginald kill her ???

oh shit the grave is broken and burned for some reason?? oh Mary looks so upset :((

I FEEL SO BAD FOR MARY RAHJKSDJSSDJHA

but also what happened to the grave and the manga??? what happened????

hmm kinda sus that he wanted them to not go in did he poison someone?? n he didnt wanna go in cuz he didnt want Mary to see that?? who did he poison??

why am i being given options about how long Mary's lived there when its all the same answer anyways??

oh there just HAS to be some time travel thing going on he went '...yes' when Mary said that 'isnt it funny how long the both of us have lived here and only met a little while ago' like but why tho

oh he's nervous now lol he killed somebody definitely. he definitely has a murder planned for somebody here. one of the kitchen staff maybe?

I KNEW IT HE KILLED SOMEBODY but also i cant believe he just?? left Mary like that wtf??

wait did he kill Mary? thats black goo coming out of his mouth, the same black goo that Mary vomitted in the church what the fuck is happening

oh ok Mary's just seeing stuff bc of the cursed manga

Mary struggling to sleep is relatable

bro he was murdering someone im sure

she's calling him Reggie thats so cute

ooooh an aquarium thats cool

SHE'S ADORABLE

this is such a touching moment. idk what to say but their talk in the aquarium is so sweet???

ok now its time for the sleepover part

oh shit Reggie lore???? crazy

'just try not to shine it at me while i'm on the couch' its bc u wont be there right??? cuz ur gonna leave in the middle of the night to do sketchy shit arent u?????

oh shit twyla's in danger but for real this time i think???

REGINALD HMMM WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

OH SHIT HELPPPP HE DROPPED SOME BLOODY SCISSORS OH MY GOD

oHM Y GOD TWYLA IS DEAD

um?????? wait is he gonna kill her what waitwaitwait

HOLY SHIT WTF. WTF ??!?!??!!??!

that escalated so quickly i

ok so i got the bad ending,,,, im,,, i...... ok.

well then im gonna like,,, process this

holy shit dude wtf

#cemetery mary #cemetery mary spoilers

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blurays · 2 years

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sorry for having the most depressing existential crisis ever by myself but kind of worse than feeling cursed for dying is feeling like ok well illness is not a moral determination on me or else four year olds wouldnt be getting the same thing but that means its just random which means things are just Bad for no reason at all

and like im so Aware of it and it feels like no one else is and it feels like insane like i guess apparently it is considered Wrong to focus on it and i mean its not like i want to sit around being unhappy but i cant understand how it’s not logical to be like just. incredibly sad forever about all this other than the fact that being miserable is not fun but it’s really just. insane to think that idk this sounds fake deep lol but like i read about some university department news and im like not belittling academia blah but its like there are people who dedicate their lives to studying x subject and im supposed to pick something and do that like some career and pretend it matters? when i wont live long enough to idk have the life anyone else does

its not like i know what people should say but im tired of no one knowing what to say im tired of feeling like idk anyone who understands it im tired of struggling to explain that sometimes i just have very strong moments of not giving a shit about twitter drama bc im more focused on Mortality As A Concept or my stomach hurting all the time or my arm rotting so that it scrapes against the joint... im tired of knowing i probably wont ever be as old as my older brother even and then having ppl tell me i need to live in the moment like im not desperately aware lol. im tired of people not understanding or caring that it comes and goes because sometimes i can repress it but sometimes i cant

even if i dont die Soon which feels very vague to me like i was supposed to be thrilled at the concept of 3-7 years it’s like. no one is ever going to understand it and it feels like people don’t even care or try.. it just makes them uncomfortably e and they think im making a big deal of it and using it or something.. which like whatever i get its not like i go around comforting everyone especially now and ik im not the center of everyones universe. but its like okay everyone else wants to avoid it but i cant because i cant even read a book watch a tv show whatever without some casual mention of cancer. because its some entertaining side thing in everyones lives but for me im simply focusing on it too much

like i dont want to be The Sick Girl really especially because to get any sympathy you have to be very happy about it and very constantly talented at something which is hard, when you are in pain all the time and very aware of the death your brain is soon about to cause u at any possible moment, but i dont know what else to do lol. maybe meds will help but idk :) i want to be optimistic but its like i dont think we can talk therapy our way out of this one !

idk why im writing this lol im just tired of trying im rly at my limit like... hearing “i think you overthought it” yeah well. dying will do that to you

i know describing myself as dying isnt rly making me any more appealing to be friends with but im just sad . cool. its not like i would super want to be friends with someone who was miserable all the fucking time but on the other side its also like wow im having fun feeling so entirely isolated

i wish i was a different person mostly. maybe if i was more graceful this would be more fun & like sympathy garnering instead of being like very lonely and my bones hurt etc

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clearlyshyobservation · 4 years

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Kokichi is dying (V3 chatfic, no particular ship)

TW: Infers abuse, talks about ableism, neglect, panic attack pretty much, depression, self loathing. never being good enough

i am so sorry but vr au's need to be sad, love yall :)

(Background info: This is set in a vr au, they are not with their fake memory parents (Ie; kaito's kind grandparents) but rather why they really have)

(Also i have no fucking clue what ship i was going for???? pretty sure they are all on the table, and kokichi talks like an idiot in this and i love it. Gonta's writing is based off of his Japanese talking style, so no more caveman talking).

USERNAMES:

(Space monkey: Kaito, Detective pikachu: shuichi, Elton john: kaede, Antman: gonta, Mr. Gonstealyoman: korekiyo, Atua's bitch: angie, emoboi: ryoma, be-boop: kiibo, bread roll: Maki, cum dumpster: miu, mommy: kirumi, Gremlin: Kokichi)

TLDR: Chaos ensues, slight angst

Gremlin: omfg im fucking sicK im gonna fucking die i bet this was kaitos bitch ass fault for coughing on me with his tuberculosis headass gROSSSSS I HATE EVERYTHINGGG

Space Monkey: i-

Space monkey: I didn't get you sick dumbass,,,, my tb is fugckin cured bi-

Bread roll: he's dramatic and gross dont believe him

Gremlin: yall mean for what?

Gremlin: i have a life taking disease and yall laughing i-

Gremlin: see you at my funeral bitch

Detective pikachu: What are you sick with then

Gremlin: anythong bitch, im the universe

Antman: He sounds delusional, thats not good

Detective pikachu: He's always delusional, he's Kokichi

Mr. gonstealyoman: I guess this name is better than my old one

Mr. gonstealyoman: thank you kokichi :) I am glad we have come to an understanding

Gremlin: kay sexy

Gremlin: IGNRE WHAT I JUST SENT

Gremlin: IGNORE IT IGNORE IT IGNORE ITTTTT

Antman: who was that for???

Gremlin: NO ONE,,,

Gremlin: Okay,,, maybe sexy tall men in general lowkey

Gremlin: okay,,,, maybe anyone over 6 feet

Detective pikachu: i feel excluded

Detective pikachu: good, i don't like you kokichi, your an ass

Gremlin: u sound jelly shumaiiiiii

be-boop: perhaps he is telling the truth, you know,

be-boop: according to my data, in chapter four Shuichi stated that you will never have friends, and no one will ever like you

Gremlin: SHUT THE FUCK UP STOP MAKING ME FEEL BADBSKVKHDVKDSKJV

Antman: do you need me to come over? I can make you tea?

mommy: Do you know how to do that, Gonta? I can teach you?

Antman: Gonta does know, thank you very much.

Antman: Gonta is not a child, Tojo-chan, please don't regard me as one

Antman: Gonta can cook, can clean, can be gentle, and has his own mind

Space monkey: but we're just making sure man, cuz, you know,,,, chapter 4

Antman: I am capable of things just like you!!!!!

Antman: Gonta doesn't know why you guys treat me like a child :(

Gremlin: yeah, hot stuff over there is basically a prodigy homies

Antman: Gonta is dumb though, don't say that.

Antman: Gonta is no prodigy, in fact, he is below average in everything

Gremlin: Whats ur test scores bitch

Antman: Gonta got a 98 on my english test,, but i wanted a 100, which would make Gonta actually smart :(

Antman: Gonta is not good enough to be friends with you all

Antman: I can do basic stuff like tojo said...

Antman: maybe i do need help?

Antman: im not sure anymore:((((

Gremlin: THEY ARE ABLEIST GONTA,,, THEY FEEL SUPERIOR FOR TREATING UUUUU LIKE A CHILD

Detective pikachu: You sound really delusional Kokichi, maybe you should get sleep

Gremlin: S T F U, IM SPITTING ST8 FACTS BITCH

Detective pikachu: Sure you are. Now get some rest.

Gremlin: GRRRR WHY WONT YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU IDIOTS??

Bread roll: Cause your stupid and aggressive

Gremlin: your personality, basically?

Bread roll: shut up at least i have a boyfriend

Gremlin: Technically, you just stole my frienemy

Gremlin: Yall do be avoiding each other doe

Space Monkey: WE ARE NOT

Gremlin: Yeah yeah

Gremlin: yesterday i saw you to enter the same cafe by accident, duck your heads, then sit across the cafe from each other, all while avoiding eye contact

Gremlin: Soooo,,, things not going well in paradise?

Detective pikachu: you're nosy

Gremlin: says the literal detective

Space monkey: everythings fine your just a dickkkk

Gremlin: "oooo! Im momo-chan, i say bad word and go brrrrr"

Space monkey: im going to fucking stab him

Gremlin: You cant, ive already enslaved you with my chaotic, yet cute hijinks, havent i~

Space monkey: STOP STOP NO NOT THE SQUIGLY

Gremlin: is it the sex? WHY DONT YOU MAKE EYE CNOTACT WITH UR LADY NO MORE

Space monkey: ITS NOT THE SEX I HATE YOU

Gremlin: im free by the way at 8 ;)

Bread roll: STOP trying to steal my boyfriend kokichi, ive told you this before

Bread roll: NO

Bread roll: BODY

Antman: Gonta interrupts to say, Gonta loves you kokichi, and we should get flowers together, than maybe we can prank some people :D

Bread roll: Ive never wanted to stab you more, gonta

Gremlin: I'd enjoy that very much, fine fellow ;)

Gremlin: but idk,,,, can you like take care of me first, cuz IM SICK BECAUSE OF KAITO TUBERCULOSIS ASS

Space monkey: I DONT HAVE TB ANYMORE

Gremlin: SURE YOU DONT

Space monkey: I DONT

Gremlin: BUT GUESS WHAT

Gremlin: YOU STILL SMOKE DUMBASS AND THATS NOT GOOD FOR U OR YOUR TUBERCULOSIS

Detective pikachu: He smokes?

Atua's bitch: he does, i walked in on him in the bathroom lmao

Atua's bitch: he was scared shitless and threw it out the window, needless to say atua does nt approve

Gremlin: DO YOU EVEN HAVE THE VACCINE????

Space monkey: Uh,,, i was taught vaccines were bad, so no i don't have the vaccine

Gremlin: I HATE OLD PEOPLE

Gremlin: ABOLISH OLD PEOPLEEEE

Gremlin: THEY SPREAD MISINFORMATION AND IT PHISCALLY HURTS ME TO SEEEEEE

Space monkey: your dramatic, it cant be that bad

Gremlin: say that when you catch it again

Gremlin: i swear you coughed on me like,,,, 5 weeks ago tho

Antman: OOOO! Fun fact: Tuberculosis can lay dormant from 3 months to a few years!

Space monkey: u guys are just trying to scare me

Bread roll: Just checked the chat after using the br and,,m YOUDONT HAVE YOU VACCINES???

Detective pikachu: Im sorry, but kaito, please,,,,, for the love of god get vaccines

Space monkey: alright alright, ill do it cuz you guys are all on my case and i don't like being the villain :(

Gremlin: Im so happy i have gonta with me rn, he is making me tea while yall rot in your distant ass relationship (THIS IS FOR YOU KAITO)

Space monkey: Im going to destroy your bloodline in about three seconds if you dont stfu right fucking now

Gremlin: Hhehe i have an inaprwopwiate joke uwu

emoboi: STOP PLEASE DEAR GOD

cum dumpster: wHAt Is iT YOU WHORE

Gremlin: i was gonna say wouldn't he need to like,,,, have sex with my family to weed out my bloodline or something??

cum dumpster: i-

cum dumpster: Why am i acting surprised, ive watched porn with more extravagant plots than this

cum dumpster: ie; are you guys FUCKING? RIGHT INFRONT OF MY SALAD??? is one i will cherish with my soul

emoboi: hehe why did she point out the salad

Space monkey: I hate u kokichi, i truly do

Gremlin: I bet if you got the chance u would kiss me space boy :P

Bread roll has left the chat

Space monkey: o god is she ddoing one of those bf loyalty tests or smthing???

Space monkey: now im nervous lmao

Gremlin: why you so nervous stupid~~~~

Gremlin: It not like ur cheating on her homie

Space monkey: It's just a placebo effect

Gremlin: My brain feels fried Momo-chan,, i don't understand big boy words right now

Space monkey: Basically, if you take a pill that doesn't do anything but you don't know that and believe it does, you will scientifically start to feel better

Gremlin: first and only time saying this, but thank you

Space monkey: HEHEHEB YOU SAID THANK YOU YOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOU

Gremlin: Kaito,,, imma need you to do me a favor and look up on your ceiling

Space monkey: i hate you, idk what it is, but i hte you

Gremlin: good <3

Space monkey: HE REPLACED ALL MY THE STARS ON MY CELING WITH FUCKIBG DICKSSS

Space monkey: THIS IS THE LST FUCKING STRAW IM GONNA LOSE IT

Space monkey: IF MY GRANDPARENTS SEE THIS BULLSHIT THEY ARE GOING TO KILL ME, SLAP ME, MAYBE BREAK MY NECK AND DESTROY MEE

Space monkey: Im GENUINLEY panicing HOW TF am i gona get this off my wal???? They are going to bbat me senselpess help me shUichi

Detective pikachu: o god, i can sense the sheer pain and scaredness in that tet,

Detective pikachu: are you for real gong to get hurt or are you pulling a kokichi?

Space monkey: FUCKING HELP ME IM NOT FUCKING JOKINGKABKCB HELP THEY ARE NOT HOME RN THEY ARE LIKEE,,,, 40 MINUTES AWAY PLEASEE

Gremlin: okay,,, maybe this wasn't the best prank.,,, i guess i'll help clean up cuz im not that much of a sociopath

Gremlin: tbh my parents can go shove it too lowkey terrible 0/10

Space monkey: AHHHH IM SO SCARED PLS PSL GET HERE FAST

be-boop: Of course, i will come, i will survey the outside of the house

Antman: Gonta is coming too! We will get this done in under 40 minutes!

Space monkey: OKAY

Gremlin: Lowkey, if i cough on you ignore it bitch your the one who made me like this

Space monkey: W HA TDONT COUGH ON ME IM NOT SICK ANYMORE

Gremlin: I will give you TB again just cuz your making me suffer

Space monkey: Suffer what??? putting dicks on my FUCKING WALL???

Gremlin: Guilt, idiot, im feeling guilty.

cum dumpster: oof thats new

emoboi: yeah i wasn't expecting it

Mr.gonstealyoman: Me neither. It is rather peculiar seeing it being texted by him because he is always feels not guilty of his bad actions.

be-boop: I do believe he means it, though...

emoboi: impossible.

cum dumpster: i agree, literally impossible.

Gremlin: I HAVE A FUCKIBG SOUL YOU CRazY CONSPIRACISTS

Antman: Quick question, shuichi can i stay with you again? It'll be dark when i get home and gonta can't do that so,,, please help

Detective pikachu: my parents are like blank slates, who eat slowly, watch tv slowly, and never look at me. Im sure they wouldn't mind :P

Antman: ALRIGHT! :D LETS GET MISSION: MR. MOMOTA ROOM REPAIR DONE!

Gremlin: ooo! I like the name! IM INNNN!

Detective pikachu: On it!

be-boop: Ready for look out!

Space monkey: I love you guys :)

AN: Im lowkey sorry i ended this chaotic mess with angst,,,, but like fr i love it i love angst,, i hate reading it but love writing it

#kokichiouma #oumota #Ougoku #chat fic #kaito momota #kiibo #miu iruma #gonta gokuhara #ryoma #angie #shuichi saihara #vr au #kirumi #maki harukawa #korekiyo #danganronpav3 #danganronpa #grossness

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neo-shitty · 3 years

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toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

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blookmallow · 4 years

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ok that was mostly really good but what a BULLSHIT ENDING

i WAS going to say this might’ve made me cry if i was in a more emotional state, stories where “the ghost was just Hurt and needed help and needed to be understood” absolutely fucking WRECK me and i was going to say “having a Mother be the one person who figured out what this abused, murdered child wanted, a mother finding her and making a connection with her and bringing her peace, is so good” and i was going to say “noah going from ‘really unpleasant guy i cant be bothered to remember who makes fun of her fears and wont take her seriously’ to ‘absolutely going fucking feral trying to save rachel’s life and going to ANY lengths to get through this together’ is SUCH GREAT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT” but now im just fucking mad lmao

i never really like stories where it’s like.... a child is just Evil for no reason, like for one thing “idk its just evil” is boring (unless its like. disney villain musical number evil then its fun but u know) i dont think a child can be Just Evil, and especially when they set the parallel with the disabled kid like “sometimes your kid’s got Something Wrong With Them but you love them anyway” with “sometimes a kid’s just evil” / the implication that maybe her parents were right to murder her is SO fucked

they had this beautiful moment of “this isn’t an evil monster, this is a child, this is a little girl who was maybe mentally unwell but that’s not her FAULT, and she was being abused by her father and was murdered by her mother and spent a week dying alone in a well knowing what her mother had done, she wanted to be found, she wanted someone to hear her, she wanted someone to understand her and it took a woman, a mother, to understand that and to FIND her” and then just threw it out for the shock value of “wait nope it’s not over she’s just evil and will keep killing people forever because she wants to spread her suffering to the world”

i mean. i understand the particular horror in the “the only way to survive is to pass it to someone else” and maybe there’s some kind of “reporter realizes the cost of getting in other peoples’ business and reopening old wounds for the sake of a story; you want to share someone else’s pain, now you have to, now you have to share it with everyone or you’ll fucking die” message here but

A) horror movies need to fucking realize they DONT HAVE TO HAVE A SHOCKER ENDING/A SAD ENDING ITS OKAY TO LET YOUR PROTAGONISTS SURVIVE ITS OK TO LET THEM HEAL ITS OK TO HAVE A RESOLUTION FOR ONCE HOLY SHIT

and B) that’s not what she was doing?? she mentions maybe doing a story on it but it was never about like, “if i solve this ill be famous/ill get a promotion” whatever she wanted to understand. she wanted to find out what happened. she wanted to protect her child, even if she couldn’t save herself, she wanted to save her son, so her motive was exactly what samara should have wanted, she should have been the perfect person to figure this out, she was trying to uncover the truth behind a child’s abuse and murder to bring that child peace and save her own child in the process

and there was such potential for samara to communicate with aiden, a kid who’s different too, a kid who expresses in “unusual” ways like her, a kid who also has a rough time with his parents even if his situation isn’t nearly as bad

rachel wasn’t just trying to spread a rumor around, her motives were all in exactly the right place so why is she getting punished for it

or maybe THAT’S the point and it’s a “you tried to do everything right but now you’re being forced to spread evil and suffering anyway, even though that was the last thing you intended” i dont know. its bullshit and im mad but i still liked it up until that point enough to forgive it it was still. really good, despite the Massive Flaws :’|

i gotta process for a while lmao

and i gotta watch the original to see if that clears anything up

i still dont understand why her parents got so fucked up about her. like. i guess anna kept miscarrying so her husband believed she wasn’t meant to have a child and straight away assumed something was Bad about samara. but why did anna kill her if she wanted her and loved her so much. what had she done at that point that was “bad”

im guessing it was the weird pictures and stuff, which. ok the fact that they weren’t just weird drawings and were like. x ray things??? was maybe a sign of something supernaturally wrong and not just a kid who needs support for their mental illness But Still

rachel realized this was just a mentally unwell kid who needed to be listened to finding a way to express herself that her parents decided meant she was evil and needed to die, and she was fucking horrified by that, she as a mother with a kid who is also “”different”” who she would do anything for realizing this child’s mother in the same situation chose to murder her kid

it could have been a powerful message if they hadn’t fucked it up with “lol just kidding she was evil actually”

im also wondering if the husband maybe did something to his wife that was actively causing her to miscarry?? i dont know if thats a thing that can be done but he said she “wasn’t supposed” to have a child, samara said he loves the horses and not her, it seems like he didn’t want a child in the first place

and i dont know why they said she was adopted?? i dont know. its 2 AM and now i gotta figure out how to get my brain to stop spinning in circles so i can sleep lmao

#lucy watches the ring

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spidercrimes · 5 years

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if it's not too much to write, how about All even numbers for the OC asks for either character of your choice! or both if you're feelin wild whatever works : ]

wheezes this took so long but im finally done holy shit

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

Echo doesn’t have any official titles, and isn’t really planning on getting any, unless Champion of Sune counts?

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

Echo has a very good relationship with her moms! To their knowledge, things were a bit tense after leaving Ivydome, but plenty of letters and visiting when they could helped with smoothing over their relationship. A good memory would be when her moms taught Echo how to bake! They can really only bake cupcakes and cookies but theyre like. Hella good ones. They dont really have any bad memories with/of their parents, since like. They will forcibly forget or repress anything that upsets them, as long as it only affected them. If the memory is something bad that affected others it will linger for however long Echo deems necessary(read: an extremely long time)

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

They were there and graduated fantasy high school what more do you want from them jkdxxjndk. They started working at the local sweets shop after school, so no higher level of education here! They like history a bit, but that’s about it tbh!

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals?

Yes! Echo had a pet cat back at Ivydome with her moms, and before the campaign she didn’t really have the money to keep another, so they settled for feeding and playing with the stray cats in Summervale.

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

Hmmm, Echo doesn’t mind children?? but there’s only so long they can be around them before she gets overwhelmed. Children like them well enough since Echo is always up for playing songs or messing around with cantrips. Echo would be the fun parent/godparent/babysitter, but. Please dont make them look after children they dont want any.

12. What is their favourite food?

Give my child spicy noodles or give him death

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

Their first cake made without supervision was. A disaster to put it lightly since someone was feeling ambitious.(it turned out like rubber and after that he was too flustered n frustrated to focus so everything else turned out badly too) So they dont bother with that anymore! Cake mistakes who i dont know her sdkjjkdbs. So half the time they pass by anything with some type of airy sponge cake they cringe lololol

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it?

She had a rock and shiny things collection back at Summervale! They’re mostly for decoration, although some with certain textures are used for stimming. Some rocks are kept on shelves, but most are stored in cool jars to save space

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

Echo is a sucker for romance novels and fun, upbeat music! Idk if video games, films, or video games exist in-universe, but if they did, they’d like dramas and baking shows, rpgs, and more character focused games like nitw

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

They love music, and they’d like musicals too! They will grab their lute and play along if their favorite song came on, and if nobody was around then maybe they’d sing too. Maybe.

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

tbh their go-to insult is calling someone a prick or a bastard, and it’s usually for whenever someone’s done something particularly scummy. Or if someone is just. The Absolute Worst. It’s a leftover habit from when they used to live in Ivydome, but Echo usually sticks to talking shit when the target is. Very far away/not in the area.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

They try and get around six hours, to varying success, and to their knowledge they dont snore! Echo loves soft things and would prefer to sleep on a soft mattress with So Many blankets and pillows and maybe a cuddle buddy

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

Fun fact echo does a tounge blep when she’s happy!! They tend to do lil happy claps and bounce up and down in place when they’re really excited, but when it’s a more calm-type of happy he purrs loudly and smiles a lot more than usual!

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

He’s claustrophobic and is terrified of being alone again or having to leave people behind even when the situation calls for it. So like. He aint copin too well after the last session! They get very flustered and panicked and freeze when theyre scared

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

Does going on champion quests and running from his problems count as exercise or???

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

Crop tops with long sleeves, shorts, and boots make up most of their wardrobe and they love it. Theyd go to like the fantasy equivalent of marshalls i think? Somewhere with good deals and a lot of options. Overlarge shirts, tank top crop tops, and more shorts make up their pjs. They dont really wear makeup, mostly bc they touch their face a lot and it feels weird the whole time, but they wouldnt be opposed to wear a lil bit every now and then! Their hair is floofy and a bit of a controlled mess since they cut it themselves

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

Echo is 5’9”/ 175.26 cm! Theyre on the average side i think? Like theyre not super skinny but not fat either so just. Avergae. And yeah, Echo likes their body, theyre so bright! And their horns are so cute and having a tail is very handy and claw maintenance can be a bit of a pain but like. Aesthetic am i right folks

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

Hes good at playing the lute and generally being very cute and giving out good vibes, and he likes baking and playing music! They can sing, but really only do that when theyre playing their lute ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

Echo admires passion and creativity the most, and dont let anyone from the party know but he wishes he could be just. A bit smarter and know what to say + ask. Theyd also really like to be able to make a decent genoise sponge too like theyre not picky

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

Theyre a tea drinker all the way, and arent the biggest fan of sweet things. He used to use more tart or mellow flavors when baking. They def arent alert after being tired for a while, and will space out a bit

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

No secret ambitions here, Echo is an open book(unless they roll high on deception dvdjxb)! Becoming Sune’s champion, making a decent sponge cake, and protecting his friends with his life/in any way they can are all their current goals. Echo doesn’t care too much if they get hurt, so physical well-being and maybe mental are things they wouldn't mind sacrificing, but as a whole they don’t really want to think about what they’d have to give up. He’ll burn that bridge when he gets to it.

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

If its cold, wet, or humid echo is not a happy camper lol. They prefer summer and the beginning of fall the most, and sunny days with lots of puffy white clouds are the best! They think its fun watching the clouds shadows on the ground. They’re better in hot weather than cold, since clothes for that type of weather are easier to dress for and they dont have to account for their tail or horns as much

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

God i hope they make a good first impression im dying over here xjkxdk but honestly it depends! They try to make a good first impression and i think they usually do? But if theyve just finished with a job w the gang or theyre just. So tired they wont really introduce themselves at all. Its pretty accurate of how they are, and their go-to greeting is “I’m Echo Barquiel, a pleasure to meet you dearie~”

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

In theory they’d like parties but being around so many people with that much noise for an unknown amount of time would not be. Ideal so smaller get-togethers with friends would be the most enjoyable! Echo doesnt really have the uh, space to host anything so theyd just turn up to other’s parties. Theyd be in a constant state of switching between ‘holy shit im so gay’ and ‘oh my god theres so many people/internal screaming’. If they were dragged to a party, theyd mingle for a leelte bit before stepping out

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

A bedroll, waterskin, food supplies, rope, knives, a lute, matches, money- yknow regular survival stuff!

#the sylph speaks #echo barquiel #sweet jesus how long ago did you send this???#i have no idea #mxbuccellati #does the readmore even work on mobile?? rip mobile users if it doesnt i guess #long post

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kim-isnt-seaweed · 5 years

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^^those photos are all taken by me. Use them ig you want but please credit me.

Hello people!

How was your week? I had a fairly good week, it was hectic and tiring but it was good until i caught a cold.

Monday: Monday since i didnt have to work i stayed home laminating my interactive material and when T came home from work we went to Emart. He bought me a really cute watch since i needed it for classes since i didnt want to keep checning my phone, he wanted to buy a smart watch for both of us (hahaha i sound like we can just buy those things whenever we want but no, we save up for those type of things) but i dont want one because i geniuenly dont have a need for one, anyway we bought stuff at emart and came home. I thought at the time i had avoided the cold i thought i caught on Sunday.

Tuesday: went to work, every tuesday staff reuinion at the center and then i went to my first class the 27 m/o baby, he is really cute and you can notice he is somewhat understanding what i am teaching him but he cant speak yet so its tough to tell for sure. The second class was new kid i was added and he is the type of kids that ..are difficult, the mother had forgotten the class was on tuesdays at 6:30 and my boss forgot to call her to confirm (usually teachers do that but she said since im a forgeiner she would do it) besides they gave me the families old address thankfully the new house was a street away. The boy was not having it, he did not want to have class and he was just doing whatever the fuck he wanted, most of my students are young so its normal for them to get distracted but you can tell the difference when they get natrually distracted because they include me in their distraction for examole the baby boy keeps trying to gwt mw to play ball with him, or anotherone that just telling me about pokemon but this boy did not give a fuck about me or the class he was just difficult but i was like whatever i will go through if the class and maybe its just because he's tired, so who knows but when i was going his mom gave him an orange and he just threw it on the floor and smeared it with his foot as if it was funny and his mom said nothing so ..he still seems a bit difficult.

Wednesday: t was at home for the morning but had to go to work that night so i decided to make lunch for both of us: carne asada, refired beans a co-worker who grew up in Guatemala gave me and cilantro rice i made with the left over cilantro the Pho place gave me. I went to work at 4, and when i got to my students house i noticed he had a cold and i immediately was like "uh-oh" you know how kids are (he is 3) they dont cover their nose, whipe their nose with their hands and then touch you and your stuff. After class i came home and later that night my throat started feeling weird.

Side note: my mom would always make soup and salad everyday for lunch and dinner (same thing for both meals as is common in Colombia) and without fail they had cilantro ALWAYS! So i grew up eating cilantro, but it wasnt until i moved to Korea and the first time eating mexican food with T he was like "oh no the taste of cilantro is too strong i cant eat this" and i was like "Cilantro has a taste????" Like i grew up eating that in soups and stuff, never on its own so i never recognized the taste, let alone believe it was strong, i just thought it was a must for food like salt or whattever, the only other thing i new of cilantro was that it makes you sleepy, so if there was too much on our food it was like "mom is trying to make us chill" idk if its true or its just placeboo at this point since i grew up hearing it thus believing it. So yeah, i didnt know cilantro had a taste of its own until i moved to Korea, thankfully T has learned to like it but he judges me when i add a bit too much.

Thursday: my throat was even more irritated that morning but i felt fine in general, t had the day off so i made lunch again: arroz con pollo. I went to work, T took me to my classes on his new scooter motorcycle and while he waited he went shopping. My second student on thrusdays is a bitbhard because he is all over the place distracted and skipping all the steps but its okay because at least he looks excited for the class. Then i had my last class and went out to eat dinmer with T, by this time my throat was in so much pain it hurt to talk but the rest of me felt fine, we went to Kondae to eat Makchang (i think its the large intestine of the pork) and then i bought a leather jacket more like i bought a fake leather jacket because T has been dying to see me in a leather jacket (boy shoulda seen me at 16) idk why so now he can finally stop talking about it.

Friday: my throat felt better so i thought i had avoided getting a cold, i went to the center to pick up my class materials for next week and for the new student on fridays my boss had only told me about the night before. I went back home and since T again had the day free we went to the bank to open a family account, then he took me to my class, i was nervous because i had been told the kids mom is scary but when i arrived there (a bit late since i had forgotten something and had to go back to the center) they were so nice, their appartment is amazing, its huge and has a beautiful view people say celebreties live in those buildings too which explains the amount of security in the complex which is odd for most korean apartments. The mom was so nice, the dad too and their little boy is wonderful too so idk what they wete talking about tbh. When class finished we came back home, took all my pants (all except one i recently bought) a skirt and a dress to the seamstress because they were too big on me now and the lady was like "why are they so big??" "Its hard for you to find clothes the fit well, right? (it is) since you have a butt (i dont i just store most of my fat in my thighs and hips but not the butt) but your waist is so small" then when she got to the dress she seemed troubled because it was more work than what it seemedm we paid 90 bucks which is apparently expensive? Idk how since she has to do a lot of work on my clothes, 7 items and 2 items for T. Then we came home and i started to feel sick again, when bed time came i was completely sick.

Today: sleeping was terrible, i kept choking in my sleep because i have a stuffy nose and a very swollen throat. T woke up at all hours trying to help me feel better, giving me wster and medicine, i felt so bad since he had to wake up early but there he was taking care of me at like 4 am. When he woke up for work all i remember is him telling our cat "Bean, mom is sick be nice to her today and take care of here" aside from that being cute on its own i actually think she listend to him, although bean is very sweet she has moments when she likes to bully me, trip me ovet, bite my legs or scratch my hands (only me she never does that to T even if he was the one annoying her she takes it out on me) but today she has been so sweet and calm, no yelling or demanding snacks, no bullying just love.

At one my MIL took me to the doctors, they somehow always mention the fact i got surgery on my nose for allergy reasons and say something i cant fully understand and no one can translate for me but i am starting to feel the surgery was a waist of money, my allergies are back (not as bad as before but their back) and everytime i get a cold it fucks me up so hard. Then when comming home my MIL bought me so much pastries and bread because i didnt want lunch or let her pay for my medicine.

Sometimes i look at T and feel so lucky i have a husband that is so sweet, selfless and careing but then i see his parents and im like yep that makes sense. His parents have always been so sweet and understanding, the accepted me for me get go and have always treated me like a daughter, sometimes i tease T telling him his dad loves me more than than him haha his parents helped pay for my surgery back when we had only been dating for a year (my parents couldnt afford it i mean back at home they could but Korean money is much more expensive than Colombian money) and now everytime i mention trying to pay them back they wont have it.

I also noticed i have three big bruises on my legs i have no idea where they came from. Its annoying because everytime i hurt myself and say "oh this is gonna leave a bruise" there is no bruise to be found, but then these bruises appear and its like for you to be so big and persistent shouldnt i remember what your from???

Tomorrow: T and i finally both have the same free day, but this fucking cold will probably ruin it all so who knows.

Anyways that was my week, i hope you all had a good week too!

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bluebeetle · 6 years

Note

How do you hope the castlevania show handles the other games?? it seems like they arent gonna be following curse of darkness well ...

Yeah! It does seem like theyre gonna take their own direction… i suspect Dracula might still be revived by the end of it but it definitely seems like theyre trying to be smart and not have Dracula be the main villain/end villain every season which makes sense, as to viewers it can seem tiring.

Im hoping even if they scrap most of CoD’s story,, we still get a few story beats like

Trevor and Hector meeting–perhaps even fighting–but teaming up in the end (And thus sypha and probs alucard too!!). pls i NEED them to met my son

isaac and trevor fiiiight. hopefully with the same amount of gay.

JULIA! Personally, im hoping they scrap Rosalee altogether bc she basically existed to die and be man pain so im hoping Julia will sorta be a mix of Rosalee and Julia–i.e. still a witch and isaac’s sister, but also being hector’s saviour in a way.

speaking of, even if she isnt isaacs sister, JULIA BETTER NOT BE FUCKING WHITE!!!!!!!!!!!! like thats such a cop out if they do, to make her brother black but not her?? she better be black and awesome and heroic and save hector’s ass from carmilla, im just saying. also her and sypha NEED to bond.

i hope we get more backstory on everyone as well

ALSO DEATH!! even if its as Zead, id love for Death to show up. Maybe even be the reason for Dracula’s later cycle of ressurection. seriously, where is he? where is Dracula’s BFF and Best Bro Ever??????

as for the other games… I suspect they might ignore a few of em, but the main ones i’d like to see are, roughly in order:

Okay first of all, I kinda DONT want a Lament of Innocence game. I actually dont rly care for it, i think a lot of the story ideas are really dumb, Leon is lame…. etc. However he is already established in the show, so if they DO touch on his game i want either a: there to be a shit ton of focus on Joachim bc hes the best character and also less Wife Death and better focus on Mathias

or b: it to have all of those things and also be a B plot told in flashbacks and not the whole season, particularly in:

Simon’s Games! Simon has NO supporting cast, its just him and Drac really, so having the B plot saves them a lot of time making up a ton of things wholesale tbh… that said, id lvoe to see a Simon based on Kojima’s art, with a personality that isnt too much like Trevor or Richter’s… Id also love for them to do Simon’s Quest too, because while it isnt a well liked game, it would be the PERFECT drama.

Like okay, I imagine it like this: We have this man, whose family is still not well liked by the people of Wallachia and who still have a bad wrap of being associated with evil and dark magic… hes been raised basically his whole life to fight monsters and especially Dracula.

and he eventually does it and earns respect from the people who once hated him. Hes not sure how to handle this, since now his main purpose for living is over, but he tries his best… only for the back wound he recieved from dracula to cause him pain, almost like its not healing, and suddenly people are weary of him again as it becomes clear over time that the wound is cursed, that hes dying–or perhaps, worse, becoming some sort of creature of the night (maybe hes turning into a zombie, falling apart, or showing traits of vampires or werewolves or who knows).

One way or another he finds out he has to revive Dracula and kill him again to save himself fromt he curse. But that goes against everything he wants, to risk bringing Dracula back into the world–but is other option is to die painfully and risk becoming a creature of the night. All while trying to keep the unsteady trust he’s made with the people of Wallachia… basically, its very good drama that is a good break from having a Looming Big Bad!!

plus, i can imagine the final fight between them could be very interesting–both are weak, Simon from dying of the curse and Dracula from just being revived, so the fight isnt just about brute strength, especially as the longer it goes on, the weaker Simon gets but the strong Dracula gets as he readjusts to his new form.

Juste’s on the other hand would be a more straight forward jaunt through the castle with monsters, with the twist being it’s his friend possessed by Dracula and all. Id LOOOVE for there to be focus on Maxim, Lydie, and Juste’s trio as well as talk about Juste being the most magic-based Belmont and what that means for them, as well as their much cozier place in the society that once rejected their family, and especially for what that means for White Haired, Magic Juste.

Basically all I need from this part is good character writing for the three of them, but esp Maxim and Juste… Lydie wont be too hard bc she has like no personality in the games lol… give her one please.

After that, theres of course Rondo of Blood and SotN. For the first one, I figure they can probably be pretty straight forward: Richters gotta fight Dracula, rescue some people, he meets a nice girl named Maria who helps him, etc… most of it will come fron the strength of Maria and Richters writing but theres bound to be some really cool action scenes with Richter and his skills and powers, but maria too!

However, Id LOOOOVE for there to be more focus on Richter during his possession at some point, and his struggles with that!!! Also, Cameo from Juste his dad/grandpa pleaaase.

As for Alucard and Maria… I hope they age up Maria a bit bc while Alucard is forever like, 18, itll nudge any romance that may happen between them outta an area of “Is This Weird?”. Anyways from there you get the usual Tepes Family Drama from Alucard having to kill his dad AGAIN and the Succubus as his mom oooo that good drama…

but I hope we get really good Maria characterization and stuff from her, like!! Please. Im also wanting her to not be white bc we NEED heroic characters of colour pls…..

I really hope they cover Order of Ecclesia bc Shanoa is great. I dont have much to say there tbh…. Idk if theyll do Bloodlines or Portrait of Ruin but there also a good way to break up the formula. Id also die if they made Sonia canon again….

Finally, i’d say the Sorrow series are the best ones to end the show on… I mean, on top of being the latest in the timeline–which means they can also do some neat stuff with modern or future tech–it also creates the best way to wrap up the series. Like, its a great way to say good bye to everyone, but especially to wrap up the Alucard and Dracula plot via Genya and Soma.

I dont have too much to say here, other than I thin they could do some really good stuff by building up on whats already established in the show esp with Alucard and his Dad and then contrasting it with how they write Soma.

Plus, Soma’s powers could make for some REALLY REALLY awesome fight scenes!!

#whoops this is rly long #castlevania #netflix castlevania #txt #ask #anonymous #long post

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blubeloved · 3 years

Text

tw- venting so theres a lot im sorry i just need to get it out. pls feel free to ignore this.

I don't think things will ever get better for me. They start to. Like the light at the end of a tunnel. But then i figure out that light it actually a train. Its getting my hopes up. But then something awful happens. If this keeps up idk how long ill be able to deal with it. I dont wanna be here if its just going to be bad. why do i have to be here only to feel pain. I cant run away. Theres no way for me when my dad has contact with officers who will track me. And, once i do get away what then? I do know what im going to do but will the pain finally go away? Will i be happy once i get away? I really hope so..

And , what if i, for some reason, never do get away. My parents could keep me here. I dont know why they would, not like they want me here, but they could.

And idk how long i can take the disphoria. I just want my chest to bd flat! I want to cut my hair! Even just cutting my hair would help a lot! But of course that would look ugly because my mom told me and shes always right as mother knows best right!?

And if my anxiety keeps up- we are going to havs issues. Can people whisper without me thinking its about me? Why would it be about me? Theyve talked to me like once and jt was only like two words. Maybe it was my voice. My voice is annoying. And i dont like worrying about everything all the time. I wish my parents would let me have meds for it but they wont bc they dont realize how bad it is bc i dont talk about it a lot. And i don't talk about it a lot because I feel like im worrying over nothing. And i am!

I also really want a hug from the people online. Theyre more of a family than my irl family ever will be. I dont want to see my irl family ever again. I just want to run away to Cali to see my s/o.

Most of my family probably wont support me being genderfluid , omi , ace , or demi. They probably dont know what any of that is. I wish i could tell my grandpa bc i figure he would be supportive. But hes dying. And the grandma that would most likely be supportive is dead.

i wanna be confident. I wanna want to live.

AND PLEASE STOP ACTING LIKE GRADES ARE TJE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD!! ITS NOT LIKE IT DEFINES MY PERSONALITY!! I REALLY DONT CARE ABOUT A STUPID FUCKING LETTER OKAY??? I COULDNT CARE LESS ABOUT GETTING AN F. I ALREADY KNOW IM A FAILURE ALL I NEED IS THE F TO PROVE IT. MAYBE THIS IS WHERE THE FEELING OF NEVER BEING ENOUGH COMES FROM! BC IT NEVER SEEMS TO BE ENOUGH. A? NO YOU NEED ME TO BE BETTER BECAUSE YOU ARENT GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE. AT LEAST IM FUCKING TRYING ANYMORE. YOURE LUCKY I HAVENT COMPLETELY GIVEN UP AND GIVEN YOU A STUPID FUCK UP. PLEASE STOP CARING ABOUT A STUPID LETTER IT DOESN'T MATTER.

and dont take my cat. yes she throws up a lot. but can she control her fucking digestive system!? no! that cat is one of the things keeping me alive because i know the first thing you would do is get rid of her if i died. and who knows where you would put her and what that would do. and how long she would live.

AND WHY DO YOU PUNISH ME FOR BEING MEAN!? MY SISTER ANNOYS ME AND YOU SAY "shes your younger sister, its what they do." BUT WHEN IM MEAN I GET IN TROUBLE. WHEN BEING THE MEAN OLDER SISTER IS TJE STEREOTYPE. BUT OFC YOU FAVOR THE YOUNGEST. AND YOU ACKNOWLEDGED IT!

also i believe that people take long hot showers to replace the missing warmth from lack of whatever bc i take showers rlly hot and long.

also im tired of having different personalities. idk what to do. i want one personality. please.

okay im done im sorry im sorry im sorry.

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dearbagelgirl · 6 years

Text

Dear Bagel Girl

damn what a day...

I woke up and really debated about going to class lmao :( i didnt pay attention much and i knew some stuff about what she was saying but meh. I was reading your email instead and smiling and shit :]

Afterwards, instead of doing homework or napping like i usually do in between my classes, I went to eat asap and finish my lab that’s due in the beginning of my class. And then in lab my eye was twitchy and shit and im like kill me. I was knocking out

Then I ran home and knocked out for like 40 mins and fuck i woke up right when it was getting good. And went to work. It was a gameday so I expected to die but it wasnt so bad because today we actually had more workers than usual and it was lit cause I worked with my dude Michael who I never really work with and we WERE GETTING SHIT DONE.

I came home at 9:30 and rn (it’s 10:30) im in Martha’s room just chilling and talking...

I’m debating what to do. Idk if i can get coffee ... i shouldnt cause then I wont sleep and i’ll forsure die tomorrow during my midterm. But im debating how late to stay up. I forsure have homework to do and some of that homework is helping me study for my midterm but then IDK what to study and practice for tonight. Cause tomorrow I was hoping to go to the gym again but I think i should use that time to study..and I have to eat and do my shot and shower so its like fuck. AND my professor still has class before our midterm so its like CONLEY SERIOUSLY???

lmao i saw my professor on a date maybe? at my job lmao i was gonna say hi but he doesnt know me cause I’ve never really interacted with him but im like “you really having fun the day before our midterm?” smh

Anyways, okay about your foot..babe like this sounds bad? like go to the doctor? especially if its been a couple of days. is there anything noticeable on your foot? like a bump? if not like..idk but maybe you should go to the doctor if it keeps hurting and if the pain gets worse.

and oh okay..so like lMAO ima tell you this cause its funny of how Diane reacted to this and stuff. I hope you dont get upset but i hope you laugh and dont worry <3.. so idk if you remember but I think i mentioned her in a blog post before about this girl in my lab, Elizabeth. I text her for lab shit and just the class in general. And then she asked for my snapchat and im like yeah here its cool. And im like yeah I should make more friends especially in this class where i can die. And then the next day after i gave her my snapchat (this was like last week i think or maybe 2 weeks ago) i saw her in lab and she was very talkative and im like okay cool we’re talking more about other shit besides lab. And then she just got really close and im like personal space? and then in lab, im listening to what my TA is saying and I have my arm resting on the desk. And all of a sudden, she holds like my arm/hand and im like 0.o and i feel really fucking uncomfortable so i give her a look like wyd and then im like “oh she’s probably just trying to look at my watch to see the time” but then its like theres a clock on her computer and she could’ve just asked instead of holding my hand for more than 10 seconds. And when i make my face, she’s like “oh haha I wanted to see THE TYPE of watch you had” and im like “oh..yeah it’s Neff” and im like wtf...you could’ve asked though why you holding my hand..and then..fuck she said some other shit like “your snaps are so funny” and now idk if you’ve seen the new sc update but its ugly and also hard to see people’s stories now AND SHE’S ALWAYS THE FIRST ONE TO SEE MY SHIT and im like lol its nothing its nothing. But then I told Sandra this and she’s like “she’s trying to do something” and im like NO DONT SAY THAT IM UNCOMFORTABLE AND I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE A FRIEND. And then she’s been saying little things and im like either you just dont understand what you’re doing or you do. And it’s like I post you on my story and i told Sandra “she should know i have a gf..i’ve posted it all over my sc and Im gonna mention my girl next chance I get”

Anyways lmao so I tell Diane..and she’s like “WTF TELL THIS STRAIGHTY TO BACK OFF” AND I STARTED DYING LMAO “STRAIGHTY” and she’s like “MMMM JOCELYN MAY NOT BE HERE TO DO SOMETHING BUT I AM. I LIKE JOCELYN. SHE STAYS. TELL THIS LITTLE FRIEND OF YOURS TO STOP” and yeah I WAS DEAD. But the girl has been chill finally cause I mentioned you and yeah i love you <3 but yeah that’s the thing its nothing big

LMAO today my coworker Daniel came up to me like “aye Vick..how real you feeling?” and i started dying and im like “whats up? what you need?” and hes like “..can you cover some of my shift Saturday?” and i said yeah :( smh so now im working WACk

btw, idk how but let me know how we should fill out this form. email? and then I can just drop it off? or? :o

I really miss you beautiful :( so much

I love you. I hope you had a good day <3 thanks for sending me your freckles

-ya know who it is

February 15, 2018

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buddaheadcannonsonice · 7 years

Text

Rika's back and MC gets left P. 4

Rika is back and MC gets sick at the same time she feels abandoned. Part 1 (x) | Part 2 (x) | Part 3 (x) | Part 4 (x) | Part 5 (x)

Rika felt a sense of satisfaction

She got off being the one everyone considered the most

sure, she lead MC to the RFA

sure she made a lot of trouble for MC and the rest of the members

But the one thing she did not want anyone to forget or even ever know really was

it also meant she could take her out of rfa with ease

And they wouldn't ever know it was her or care if all went to her plan

-- Yoosung --

From the last time MC invited Yoosung over, he remembered where she now lived

Why didn't I visit her sooner?

Yoosung made his way to her building, knocking repeatedly and waiting for a response

Where is she? It's almost midnight…

He almost gave up when she didnt answer either calls, text, or the door

Rika! Yoosung was surprised to see his cousin walk by

“Yoosung, what are you doing here so late?”

I came to see if MC is okay, shes been MIA for a while

“She’s fine! I talked to her not too long ago and she said that she was going to visit her family for a few weeks. I forgot to tell you guys about it too… sorry.”

It’s fine, don’t worry about it! Though, it would have been better if she told us herself…

“I dont know the details, but something about one of her family members being recently diagnosed with a terminal illness.. Yeah, it was terrible. She said they started to cough blood and she went to go help them through the process. Poor MC.”

You’re genuinely concerned for MC, you’re so nice Rika.

“Ofc, shes a memeber of the rfa too!”

Sorry, its just i know you dont know her that much, but im glad you guys get along well. Do you know when she’ll be back?

“I think after the funeral. Though it may be longer since i dont know how shell be okay after all of that. Next time we talk, ill ask her, okay? How about we go visit V? Im sure hes awake and wouldnt mind if you came over for a sleep over”

Yoosung felt like a huge boulder had been lifted from his shoulders now that he knew MC was physically okay

He felt bad that she didnt tell anyone that she was leaving to tend to a sick family member

But he felt that he would forgive her since she seemed more of a private person

I should get her a gift basket when she comes back; poor MC will be greiving when she returns- I could add chocolates and that coffee she likes with an uber soft blanket. Yeah, i wil do that for sure when RIka tells me when she comes back

Yoosung wanted to be a shoulder for MC when she came back since she was there for him when Rika was gone

he wanted to prove to her and himself and RIka that he was more than just a college student who played a lot of video games; that he was also a capable man

-- Zen --

Zen has entered the chatroom.

Zen: MC! Please call me when you get this!

Rika: Zen, I forgot to tell everyone that MC went back to her home country to take care of a sick family member. I didnt want to say anything right away but she told me just recently that it may be a while before she returns because of how bad things are …

Jahee has entered the chatroom.

Jahee: Oh no that’s terrible. Is her family member in that bad of condition for MC to leave without saying bye?

Rika: I am afraid so. From what I know, they are really ill that it is now deemed terminal.

Zen: Oh man, i really thought something happened to MC

Rika: What do you mean?

Zen: I dont know, I thought maybe she got bored of us and left us or something happened to her health wise. I hope she knows that we are all here for her when she comes back

Rika: Dont jinx anything! I’ll let her know though that you were worried whenever we talk again ^^

Jahee: Please do. Id feel much better though if I could talk to her soon. Do you think you can let her know to call me please?

Rika: I will pass the message along!

Zen: me too please, I really miss her :c

Rika: I will, you guys worry too much ^^ dont worry guys, everything will be perfectly fine ^^

Zen: alighty then, i gotta go and meet some directors to talk about my wonderful gorgeous face making its appearance on stage soon, bye~

Jahee: Oh my heart!

Rika: Good luck!

Zen has left the chatroom.

He didnt trust Rika

He didnt even trust Jahee at the moment

He knows he saw MC at the store that night

And it seems highly unlikely that she would just leave without explaining the situation

Especially if someone she cared about was really sick

Would she?

-- Jahee --

From what Mr. Han had been accumulating she knew what was going on somewhat

Though if the rest of rfa should know she didnt feel like she had a place to tell them

She did abandon MC just like the rest did

She wont deny that what the rfa did to MC was abandon her at a time she would have needed them

despite all MC probably gave up to help them

But she didnt want anyone to be in the unknown

Although, she didn't know if Rika was lying or telling the truth maybe rika did know mc was sick and didnt want to tell because MC said so

Jahee didnt want to risk anything by letting the cat out of the bag cringing

For now all she felt like she could do was gather as much as she could about people with pneumonia

She would look into it since that was all Mr. Han told her

Maybe find some coffee as well for MC and maybe chocolates as she thinks about pleading for forgiveness

-- Jumin --

He had no right to act like he should care for MC anymore

The moment they all left her, everyone in the rfa lost all the rights to care for MC

The only thing he could do was offer her the best treatment possible when he found out what she had it made him very uncomfortable to not know what she was suffering from

aside from the stabbing pains of being betrayed that he couldn't fix for her

but that was only if Seven could find a way into breaking MC out of there

But he knew the longer they waited the worse she would get

When he saw MC through the camera on Sevens screen, he knew he never wanted to know what it felt to lose someone again

After he though rika died, he felt like his world tipped over

But if he loses MC, he knows he wont ever have a reason to go on living with himself

He did find comfort knowing that MC never seemed to have had lost her personality and all that made her so easy to be around

By the looks of it, it was all thanks to Paco who never seemed to leave her side

Are you almost done?

“I want her out of there as soon as possible as well, okay?”

Jumin was taken back with how Seven snapped

“Dont let it get to you, he always gets like this” the famous ‘Vanderwood’ who leaned on the side of the wall said

I dont want to know

He decided he didnt want to get into what Seven did on his own time also bc ‘Miss’ Vanderwood was slightly scaring him

“Just get the IP address so we can get there and go”

“I cant just do that! Well, I can but there seems to be more stuff this guy is feeding me atm and its all about MC”

“Look at it when you get her out of there! Poor girl must be seconds away from kicking the stupid bucket”

Excuse me?

“DOnt take it to heart, he gets angry when he has to wait before a job”

“Shut the fuck up, I still have my taser, you oaf”

What do you mean hes feeding you?

“I mean, this Unknown guy wants her found but for some odd reason he cant let her go… idk myself, but it looks like hes just doing his job”

“What makes you say that?”

“RIght here it says: Job. No. Yes.- Unknown”

Isnt that a good thing then? That means we can get MC out faster

JUmin didnt care for all the extra side stuff

He wanted to just get to the point and storm in there to save MC and take her to the doctors he had on standby

Just hurry up!

“I would want to bu- OH shit”

Jumins heart stopped for a millisecond thinking that MC died

When he didnt see anything abnormal on the screen that showed MC he was confused

But looking at what Seven saw

He understood

Is that Rika?

-- 707 --

Watching RIka give MC injections of unknown substances made him physically want to scream

Why would she do that?

What was she even giving MC?

Where is Unknown?

“Damn, white loaf can really go on strong” he ignored Vanderwoods snide comment focusing on V holding MC down so Rika could give her another injection

“Let’s go now Seven, no more playing around!”

Okay okay, let me just get this on my laptop so we can watch as we go

“If we take my helicopter we could be there quicker”

Yeah lets do that

Seven was in a daze

As he looked into the breadcrumbs Unknown was giving him

He began to wonder why Unknown even took MC away if he was going to help them in the end

Unless he too was forced into do this all

But why would Rika do this? What could she gain from this?

“Please dont”

Seven turned to look at Jumin who looked at him when they heard MC’s voice

“Ready or not here it comes~” Rika sang

“You both may want to look away” Seven heard Vanderwood say before turning away

Not once had he ever looked away from the screen while on the job

You begged her to stop

Whatever it was, it wasn't the same anymore

You began to remember names and faces but you couldn't match them together

Please stop this, it hurts!

“Sweetie, you're dying anyways, this is me being merciful and helping you go faster. Be thankful.”

What about that other stuff? What was that other stuff?

“It will all be over quickly if you just listen to her, please MC”

You turn to look at the stranger with the sunglasses: who’s MC?

Am I MC? Are they talking to me ?

You think you know them but you can't match any faces or names at all

“I'd ask if you have any last words you want me to give to someone but at this point, you probably don't know if you have any friends or family “

You shake your head trying to think

Somewhere someone has to know who you are

Why can't I talk?

You panic; thrashing your body away from the woman and man

“Stop it!” You hear it before you feel a stinging sensation on your cheek

“Like I said,you're already dying “ the woman says as she huffs for air

The look on her face scares you

It looks like she's enjoying whatever is happening

“You should never talk to strangers “ you feel the weight of something hard crash on you holding your face down on the now cold floor

“Don't ever go to places you don't know”

The pressure intensifies making your head build more pressure like it will explode

“Rika, that's too much” you hear the man from earlier

Help me please! you silently beg

You wonder why he doesn't help you

“Stay out of this V”

You feel something stab your shoulder

Then you don't feel anything at all

-- Vanderwood --

Seven was annoying

Richie rich was annoying

They all were pissing him off

The rush to get to where this girl was chaotic

He was used to the silence that Seven would accompany him with

But not like this

This silence was deafening and suffocating

-- V --

He didnt want to harm MC

she was one of the good ones

but he didnt want to make Rika any worse than she already was

He knew 707 or Jumin must have caught on by now

with the help he got from Unknown, he knew they would make it but not soon enough

He made sure that whatever happened; it would all be on him

Even if MC may never wake up again

even if Rika would spend a lot of time in the hospital

even if Jumin and everyone in the RFA should come to hate him

even if he should become the villain;

he would do whatever it takes to preserve Rika’s legacy and love and pride

He just needed for MC to hold onto life

She was already sick

and the medication he had replaced with the medication Rika wanted Unknown to give her seemed to have been working

He made sure Unknown gave her the treatment she needed

But he didnt anticipate for Rika to inject her with a strong dose of whatever she had made for MC

By the looks of it

it definitely was not the same that he had Unknown give her

-- Unknown --

Any minute now, it would all be over

one way or another, MC would no longer suffer

He knew that by lying to Rika he was compromising his safety as well as Saeyoung’s

But he couldnt kill MC slowly

not with what RIka had made for her

No.

Instead, he made sure he gave her the medication she needed

he made sure that Saeyoung would find the bread crumbs he left

He expected Rika to pull something big for the finally so he made MC an antidote to what Rika had

he didnt give it to her yet but he would have to leave it for Saeyoung to find if Paco didnt find a way of getting the vile out of his jacket before they got to MC

All he needed now was to find a way to make amends

To MC and to everyone else

but he would do that after he found a way to forgive himself and Saeyoung

because if he didnt make him hate him; none of this would have happened

and MC would have had treatment for this and have never been involved

When would Saeyoung see how toxic both were to everyone else?

Especially to someone good and simplistic and perfectly normal like MC.

Did Saeyoung even know?

Did his brother know how toxic both brothers were to everyone?

Like how toxic they were to one another.

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uncle-spice · 7 years

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89 sexy questions

1. First kiss? 7th grade at a concert at the park near my house. 💜 2. First time masturbating? Probably 8th grade when my friend goated me into buying a sex toy. 3. First sex toy? A pink 7 inch vibe First kink tried? With or without a partner? With was breathplay, and without was tying myself up. 4. First time doing oral? The summer after freshman year at my boyfriends house. 5. First time having sex? Also in the summer after freshman year at my boyfriends house 6. Biggest turn on? Probably touching of my sides or lower back.. 7. Biggest turn off? Idk long nails? Or when someone takes too long to cum 8. Quickest way to get horny? Honestly im nearly always so just lots of touching or fondling can get me there 9. Weirdest thing that ever turned you on? Probably rape bc thats pretty weird 10. Top 3 places to be touched? Sides, spine, butt 11. Ultimate fantasy? Being dominated by a hot boi who’s down for whatever. 12. Do you like the idea of a three or moresome? Eh.. i mean if they’re hot i gues, and down for making me the center of attention. 13. Do you send nudes? Do you like receiving them? Not often. And most of the nudes i get are gross or have tic tac dicks so i usually dont bother but i do take nudies just for myself 14. Sex or masturbation? Hard choice, but probably sex. 15. Spit or swallow? It depends if im deep throating or not and what he tastes like. Either way ill probably swallow. 16. Cut or uncut dicks? Cut but i dont judge as long as its a cute boi that can use it well 17. Rough or sensual sex? A bit of both? Passionate is a better word for me. 18. Oldest person you’d sleep with? As of right now? Probably 22 19. Loud or quiet partners? Eh, depends where we are. I dont want you waking my roommates but if no ones here i wanna hear if im doing a good job or not. 20. How much foreplay do you like? As much as my partners up for 21. How much teasing do you like? A lot but not to the point where i dont get rewarded in the end.. 22. What is too big for you to take? Idfk a 18 inch horse dick? I’ve taken at the most 8 inches. 23. Do you do hookup or only sleep with a partner? 24. Partner though i wouldn’t decline a hookup 25. How much kissing do you like during sex? Lots lots lots 26. What’s the most attractive part of the body Idk I’m a big fan of legs, noses and hair 27. Favourite place to have sex? Cars or the bedroom for me. Though ive really wanted to fuck at a concert.. 28. Would you have sex in public? Depends if its a legal area, and if others are gonna be grossed out or not 29. Last place you had sex? My ex’s house 30. Where would you most like to have sex? A car or concert 31. Do you like spontaneous sex, or do you need to be in the mood? I’m usually up for spontaneous sex but if i dont feel good you better put that dick back where it came from me so help me 32. Could you go through with a hookup at a strangers house Probably 33. What’s your biggest kink? Idk if i can answer that but domination, breath play and roleplay are my top 3 34. What’s your limit? Weird shit like furries, shit and stuff like that. 35. Are you okay with name calling in bed? Yes yes yes. 36. Would you do any BDSM? Yessss as long as i dont die i guess 37. Do you prefer to tie somebody up or be tied up? Being tied up. 38. Favourite type of bondage? Light stuff like scarves or bandanas 39. Do you like orgasm denial/forced orgasm? Eh sure. 40. Do you like overstimulation? Ehhhh 41. Do you like having pain involved? Yaz 42. Do you like biting/being bitten? Both both both 43. Have you ever been made to/made somebody beg for it? Eh i made my ex beg though i really wish someone else were man enough to make me 44. Do you have any strange or extreme kinks? Eh, im sorta into water sports and choking. But thats about as far as it goes in the “extreme” category. 45. Have any roleplaying preferences? Well im super into non con. But I’m also into play a school girl/boy, I’ve done a starwars one, and maybe some daddy/son play 46. Do you own sex toys? How many? Yes and 3 not including lubes 47. Favourite Sex Toy? Probably my newer pink vibe 48. What do you masturbate to? Either music porn or my imagination i guess 49. How often do you masturbate? At the max 2 times a week 50. How often do you use sex toys to masturbate? Nearly every time 51. Do you masturbate with penetration? Yeah dood 52. Do you go for multiple rounds or settle at one or no orgasms? Usually when i have sex I’ll try going for more rounds but when it comes to masturbation if i feel satisfied ill stop. 53. Do you enjoy giving oral? Yes! I love giving oral!!! 54. Do you prefer giving or receiving oral? I prefer giving but getting it isn’t half bad either. 55. What makes you orgasm the fastest when receiving oral? Idk hearing them moan against me? 56. Do you have a preferred technique for giving oral? I like taking my time and kissing and licking and doing it real sweetly 57. Can you deepthroat? Yes but its not my facorite thing in the world to do. 58. Do you do anal? Yes! With proper build up or with toys 💜 Top or bottom? 59. As much as I’d love to be a bottom, i usually have to take over as a top bc there aren’t many guys who actually like being a top. 60. Favourite position? Idk with my legs up or doggy style 61. How often do you do unprotected sex? Nearly everytime ive had sex (i know it was dumb but i haven’t had sex in quite a while and ive learned from those mistakes) 62. How loud are you in bed? Eh im pretty noisy, but mostly loud mewling and gasps 63. Do you enjoy having nipples played with? Not really bc im trans and I’m really self conscious about my chest. 64. Do you like/dislike/love/hate cum? Love!!! 65. How good are you at dirty talk? Not.good.at.all. 66. Do you get sleepy after an orgasm? Depends. Some times im real tired but others i feel like i could run a marathon. 67. Do you like wearing/seeing people in lingerie? I like wearing it when im alone though I’d be way too embarrassed to wear it around my partner 68. Do you masturbate or have sex with clothes on? Yes! 69. What’s your favourite style of underwear? Boxers i guess 70. Are stockings/thigh highs a turn on? Yes! 71. Ever had somebody say no to a kink you suggested trying? Not really though one guy tried getting me to do raw anal and i noped out real quick 72. Do you trim, shave or leave pubic hair untouched? How do you prefer partners? Depends if im in a relationship or not. If i am i will trim if not i wont. Though i do lile my partners with some hair. 73. How many orgasms can you have in a day? Idk i never counted but more than 2 74. How many other people know your dick/bra size? Not many?? 75. What do you wear to bed? Usually a t shirt and boxers 76. Do you eat ass? Do you like having your ass eaten? No, and I’ve had my ass eaten and it wasn’t great and was kind of uncomfortable tbh 77. Try to describe how orgasm feels for you. It’s a mix between a fun burn and having to pee. 78. Have you ever been to a strip club? How was it? If not, would you? No and i probably would if i had people to go with. 79. Fun questions!Do you name your genitalia? No but if i did it’d probably be an Adam 80. What would be your stripper name? Pussy boi 81. Any funny sex stories? Well me and my ex were having sex in his swimming pool and his mom came outside and couldn’t see the lower half of me, and thought we were hugging and was like “awwwe” and i was dying bc it felt really good and i couldn’t do anything and he wouldn’t stop moving his hips. 82. What food if any would you use during sex? 83. Idk whipped cream or something i can lick off 84. Would you give somebody a sex toy as a gift? Yes and i have 85. What’s the weirdest porn you’ve ever seen? ET porn. Look it up and be horrified. 86. Do you often get horny in public? Yes. 87. Ever used something that isn’t made for sex in the bedroom? I’ve used a baseball bat and i have no regrets 88. Have you ever walked in on somebody or been walked in on? Yes by my mother and my ex’s mother but we usually pulled away close enough to make it seem like we weren’t doing anything 89. Do you have any friends you’d sleep with? Oh hell yes. Many. Though of course I’d never tell them that…

#transboy #sexy things about me

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ayatanskywalker4u · 3 years

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NO ONE CAN BLAME YOU FOR WALKING AWAY

Does the story end when we go? Does love die if the pages stop turning? I hope so because Im in pain. How do u tell someone "you cheated 1st"? I slept with two women and the other I still love. I read her tumblr page when she wasnt looking, its not like i was the greatest guy. She said stuff like i said mean things. I know i did. Like a kid throwing a tantrum because i dreamed of a future. You know, having kids a house, maybe a dog. If i didnt love her why risk going to jail to save her life? Her father threatened to call the cops on me when i banged on the door yelling and crying shouting "SHES DYING" it was raining that night like some movie and me running through it. We were always there for eachother whether it was a prayer or a hand. I asked her to marry me and she said yes, that was somewhere in the middle.

Theres a lot that happened, some NSFW stuff that happened to her. I could see it breaking her. And when we finally met again she was laughing about some of the graphic content. She told me the old her was dead, like she was just looking past me. Like the night she was dying from an overdose. She didnt see the man that loves her. She only saw what she wanted to see.

When the ambulance took her away i met her the next day in the hospital ward. I will always remember this because as i turned away from her hand i felt her standing there almost begging me not to leave. I had to go, i joined the military.

What went through my mind during that moment was does she love me, then why didnt she call me before the pills? And she's slept with other men to boot. But i was always there even if it made me mad.

There was this other girl, Ebony. She was pretty but so was Ashley. I wanted to try getting back at her for running around. And no i didnt go to bed with Ebony after Ashley's incident. Not right after. I still shouldnt have. "He who touches a women divored commiteth adultery." The same goes for man. I sinned against my very heart which was Ashley and now she hates me.

Im not the type to go get a new dog when we have to put down o'l yeller. When my dog Ginger died i never replaced her. Can you replace a son or a daughter, a father or mother? Can you replace the person you almost lost your life for? I guess the question is should you though. I hate sounding like im giving up on what i believe in. I love ginger and i believe in a better place.

I stayed gone to military training until 2010. Ashley called in the beginning to see if i was alright. I was still mad at her. Was she sleeping with others even though i wasnt around even Ebony? Lol no but ebony was sleeping against me and Ashley even stalked her to find out for me. I thought she was manipulating my emotions. That was the beginning of our downfall. I called her, Ashley, right around my graduation. I was outside of a hotel the privates threw a party at. I missed her and decided to go outside and call her. She was with some other man sadly. Probably doing some NSFW with him as my heart breaks. She laughed at me over the phone, like hey Ash come on its OB. Im still here. I graduated but the woman i love left me.

After the military i called her every now and again. She wouldnt pick up most of the time. I joined the conservation corps and just decided to wait until she asked me to come over. My heart was racing when she asked to talk, funny enough i believe i quit there right beforehand.

We talked about a lot of stuff. Mainly she talked about the guy and the NSFW stuff. All while looking off in the distance just smiling and giggling about how he made her scream and broke the cheap Walmart bed. I was getting upset. Holding my tongue. But when she told me her father touched her, thats when i cracked. I laughed at her pain because it seemed like she was ignoring mine. I missed her forever and a day and she was just, idk she was something, a happy i wouldnt call happy. I spent the night i think, even tried to pull a night with her but its like she just hated me. The last time i recalled ever seeing her was the hospital. She must have held the hospital and ebony against me.

Fast forward to the next day she drops me off at my house. As i stare at her wondering whats going on in her head, probably the dudes equipment, she reaches out and tries to hug me. I pushed her hands away, like she just wanted me to feel like everything was going to be alright. She only wanted to chase tail. Like all those moments over the years we were together didnt matter. I know she was talkin to someone else, i felt like i couldnt "satisfy" her anymore in a way. She definitely didnt like my moves the night before. I watched her get back in the car and drive off.

Some years passed and we lost the house. I overdosed on i think excedrin. That was the night she wouldnt pick up her phone. Funny enough that bottle wasnt enough to finish the job. The cycle of wanting to die when you lose a love like a dog, pig, cow, man women, whatever its hard to kill unless you have hope.

I gathered my senses and decided to leave california for Minnesota. The week prior was bad though. I started hallucinating and i heard voices. I started developing schizophrenia, and destroyed my mothers house due to it. Back to the following week im leaving for Minnesota and Tony tells me he has a gun he wants to sell. I figure i'd buy it when i get paid. You guessed it, im looking to make the job quick. Ashley didnt love me anymore. She wont miss me anyways. I Know how to pull an M9 apart blind folded and put it back together within seconds. I know the central nervous system is what you aim for. Its in the back of the skull at the nape of the neck. You'd leave this world in seconds. I know it sounds grim but come on, its better than commiting adultery against my heart. Who wants to live and suffer at the same time?

Tony saw me brandishing the piece and hid it from me i was crying about what i had done to everyone.

Tony ended up ditching me in Minnesota, luckily it wasnt my first time eating out of a trash can. Home is where you make it. Some people at the shelter became my friends and we played guitars together. But i wasnt as good with the guitar as i am now.

Salvation army was my first job in Minnesota, i was just happy again. I grew my hair out and styled it down, not like Prince and less greasy. After work id go get a drink. I worked that job for about two months i know because my birthday had passed and i believe i turned 25.

2015 came down and i still was asking god what now. I was skinny and handsome playing the guitar with a job. There were women who'd look and stare and some thought i was full of myself. The truth is i just wanted to be able to hold ashley if she ever fell in my arms. I was kinda muscly. I always told myself that one day her legs will fail but id be ready, the muscles werent just for show.

I hit on a few women but i never chased. Id go to the library every now and again to read. And then it hit me, even though i had no cell phone i could use the computers, Ashley was the 1st thing on my mind. I called, i dont think she answered but messaged back. She sounded angry. She was pregnant is what she was. Little did i know. All said and done she left me feeling more empty than i had planned. I started getting angry at God, "if you control everything and move everything, why are you moving me toward Ashley? She doesnt even see the love anymore or remember the sacrifices."

The train to the mall was coming by soon. I went to the liquor store with a plan. Buy as much fireball whiskey as i can consume and jump off of the mall of america. The train was sluggish, probably because i had been drinking. I fell into a doze just before the last stop, "The Mall of America". I woke up and walked slowly, tipsy, toward the elevators to the 6th floor. I heard a voices as i walked to the ledge. I turned around to see if anyone was watching me, my back against the guard rail. I climbed on top and looked down, liquor really did help. I turned my head up and told God "you want my life? You can have it". I let go of my hands back toward the earth and fell asleep.

When i woke up it was about 2 weeks later. My vision was blurry but i made out my mom crying on my chest. I slowly reached and touched her scalp. She didnt know i woke up. Short lived, i went back to sleep. Not just my mom was there but my sister too. They drove from California. How did they find me with no ID?

I stayed in that hospital for 3 months, due to my injuries and placed in the psych ward. My family visited me every few months. All that was going through my head is 'I'm alive" it took me a while to figure out how to use my legs being one has nerve damage now. But i started walking before my bones could fully fuse. The nurses told me to stop.

After i gained disability and got placed in housing, i bought a game to occupy my time. No more work outs, no more running, just me trying to forget the reasons i gave up on life. A couple months to about a year later my mother asks if i want to leave the housing and save the disability money. I said yes to that. I didnt know they'd take me back to california on my birthday. It was a nostalgic drive.

I picked up a walking routine and decided talking to ashley was always going to end with her thinking about my faults. I stopped calling her for probably 4-5 years no messages, nothing.

One day my mom asks if i want to go for a ride and talk. We drove until we reached the on ramp she passes me her phone with a picture of Ashley holding a baby. It was Zipporah. What should i have felt? If ashley is dead why did ashley hold onto the dream? And share it with someone who just left her holding the bag. I couldnt believe it after how hard we tried to bring her into this world.

But i cant chase Ashley anymore, i cant even run, literally.

I didnt know if she was married or not to the dude all i know is his ass wasnt in any pictures with the baby. Ive done some searchin around, he was some dead beat who'd prey on women revealing there weak sides on the internet instead of reality. Yeah I never liked virtual dating. That or the websites. Why do for me what i can do myself?

Even after zipporah was in my view i was a happy mad. Happy that Ashley finally got her family minus the father. But mad at the whoremonger man who just left her. I was a little sore with Ashley for hiding it.

Its been a a year and a couple months after the pictures were seen. I started forcing the thought of Ashley out. I wanted her to disappear, me or her, but mainly me. She wants to chase body parts thats on her. But Im broken now. I still love her and sure some might say less than before but i say im just skeptical now. Besides what good is seeing me broken going to do for her? Idk if she'd just laugh at me again. I kinda wish she would, so i can take these feelings and curse the day she ever earned my love.

Whats the point in arguing though. We were so happy until people stepped in and sabotaged our emotions. You hate me for cheating, laughing at what happened between the father and you and walking away. When i should have stayed. I forgave all the crap in the past. But im almost done.

The doctors told me i dont have much time left after my jumping act. I messed up my innards pretty good. The alcohol relaxed the impact though. I dont want to tell my mother, she'd flip over what im talking about. I think i can close the book on this life well too.

Even though i didnt get to help raise the dreams we shared i learned you still held onto dead things just to keep the dream alive. Ashley is alive in there somewhere, only ashley would name that baby zipporah.

I can leave happy.

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eyes-like-honey · 5 years

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Demons

They wont leave. They know my weakness. I'm literally afraid to go to sleep now. The dream state was the place i escaped too, when i couldnt handle being awake. The pain of knowing you arent really here anymore. Knowing i won't ever see you again...i can barely remember your voice..

Its just gotten worse. Now im forced to see you running around in my dreams. I see you so clear. So happy. It last seconds.

And then the moment before i wake up. I stop and stare at you and remember your gone. A pain in my chest. I wake up. To those white walls. The pink sheets with the stain from when you dyed your hair. The blue dragon.

When i wake up and see those things. The old me. Stuck in my brain. In the back of my mind. Half dead. Wants to come screaming out. And i feel his pain for a few minutes. I feel the numbness. The suffocating heart. The shadow of hate thats in the form of joseph.

The old me. Rotting away... Its hard to kill yourself. But when you see something half dead, suffering, something so pathetic . You have to put it out of its misery. And thats what im trying to do. Because its the only thing holding me back. Not only did thedlse demons infected my dreams. My safe space because i was still with you and got to see you laugh. Theyre trying to infect the new me. I picture you sitting at the spot and tables you use to sit in. Here at home and at work. Frys. Little ceasars. The lawyers office. Your like a ghost that only i can see.

These demons.

The beautiful girl i was crazy about running around in my head all day.

The shadow of my brother that i see in the corner of my eyes.

And the half dead me. Deep in my mind. In the abyss. Making sure i remember you whenever your favorite songs come on at work or at home.

And the shitty part now is that when i fall asleep i cant control it. I feel like im being toyed with. Its becoming torture.

Times almost up. I gotta leave soon.

I dont want to leave. I dont want to throw away your stuff. Its like deleting you. Im afraid of losing your memories too. For fucks sake i still have the paper clip. You thought it was cute at first. But by now you probably think i was just fucking stupid for caring about the little things.

Theres two outcomes from this. One. Im to in love with you and depressed about you leaving i wont ever get over it. And ill kill myself. Because honestly i dont want anyone else. No one laughs like you. No one has your personality. I wont ruin my life for anyone else just to be with them. I put int 150% of myself for you. Before you i was different. Never cared about love or partners. Never cared about life.

Two.

Years pass. The last of the memories of you fade from the material things i tried to keep. I forget your voice. I forget your personality. I forget your face. Forget our adventures. Forget your name. I grow into the successful person i know i will become. Knowing we could of been the famous power couple were ment to be.

Either way you die. And i go through life feeling half empty and knowing. I could of been happier.

One of the hardest parts too is not knowing how you really feel... do you even miss me? Why was it so easy to go away. So easy to make me feel like i didnt matter. Make me feel like it was all my fault.

Sometimes i feel like all those memories of us laughing and holding hands, cooking, adventures. it was only me feeling it. Only i remember them?

I really hope you're happy. Please tell me the pain im going through was worth it.

Im grateful for even knowing you. For the things you helped me grow through. The way you made me look at life. The experiences good and bad. grateful i got to hold your hand and say i love you . Idk...maybe being grateful will kill these demons.

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survivormarmoreal · 5 years

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Episode #14: "i literally hate attention (i say as i broke out into song unprompted)” - Bryce

I can't believe that I am here. I made it to the Final 4. It is very crazy. I thought that I was toast in the Final 6. So to be here now is very exciting and shocking. The final 3 is going to depend on who wins immunity. I am really hoping that I could win this immunity to secure my spot in the final 3. If not then I hope that Matt doesn't win it. He needs to be an option just in case. I'm very nervous. I just finished my rites of passage. and its crazy that its almost final tribal.

so im getting 4th. FJKASDHFKJh this comp is so hard and like im literally not gonna be able to do endurance so i need to do well on the other stuff but i just dont see that happening... like this puzzle first try was 70 minutes FJKASDHFKAJS. AND I KNOW COUNTING WILL MESS ME UP BC IM NERVOUS WRECK i didnt even mean to caps that but its tea. like flash game i think when i played this once before i wasnt bad but maybe i was who knows. im so emo like no one is talking to me anymore FKJASHDFKJ like i guess bc its just 1 vote left they dont wanna pretend they wont cut me FJAKSDFH like my game not even that good im gonna get dragged by sharky/nathan/keaton/nicole/ everyone but brian... maybe even brian who knows NNNN. my nnn. is so iconic.. maynor who?. idk like ok so if i win immunity (which i wont) idek what to do like i feel like voting matt is the best option maybe. bc i WONT be voting maynor bc i love him (not that i dont love anna and matt) but i just feel like we've had the best relationship of the f4 and im confident that the jury will like my game more than his (maybe they wont tho... i say confident but i mean 2% (not skim) sure they will) but ok so annabelle prob is hated by jury at least from brian and maybe even sharky? but like she didnt play bad she literally made most iconic move at f6 and i respect that but idk if jurors do like ppl keep saying shes a goat so maybe she has no chance. and then theres matt where like ppl cant be mad he voted them when everyone and their mom in this game has voted him ASDKJFHASDKJ. like so hes prob liked by jury but i just dont know if hes done anything to deserve to win. he found 2 idols successfully played 1 but that was more on anna/nicks weird sense of leaking when it didnt really benefit them. but like ok he was least threatening member of trio who got to the end so underdog edit is there even tho he literally wasnt underdog tbh u know who was an underdog... ME. i had NO ONE but nathan for a lil.. then dennis... then he got ROBBED. so then i had brian... but he got ROBBED. and now i have maynor like ive literally flipped and flopped to better my game and idk like i am physically able to meaningfully say ive done anything good ever in life or orgs but like i didnt do too bad i think! KJFAHSDKJF... idk maybe im getting 0 votes 3rd place no matter what and if thats the case im still so happy bc ive had a lot of fun in this game and met some true friends (and keaton) but like im getting 4th anyway so doesnt matter! ugh that sounds like a final goodbye confession but i know me and im gonna confess like 10 more times before this round is over so if i do get 4th/3rd just know that this was my true end...

So like.... I do not think i'm winning immunity. like at all. which makes me pretty nervous ngl. I really want to be there at the finale cause i think I have a good shot. If Bryce loses, i'm fairly sure i'm good to get to FTC but otherwise im scared. Making FTC would be really good for me cause I think i can out argue Maynor and Annabelle fairly well, but otherwise with bryce there idk. So like, BRYCE CAN'T WIN IMMUNITY. Also this FIC is disgusting like no thanks. I've already fucked up the 2 live ones so uh ya am annoyed :(. woo final juror here i come!

Bryce won immunity. Im glad. I wouldnt want to be in the position to vote Bryce. I had to abstained from the counting part cuz it triggered my anxiety. I tried tho but i couldnt. This vote is going to be said. Matt is going to go 4th. And i feel really bad. We got to know each other more during every tribal. This really sucks. I just dont want to give him false hope where there isnt any. Im going to help tomorrow.

I am so getting final juror. fuck. i knew it would happen if bryce won immunity and it fucking is. I am so sad about this. I have worked so hard all game to get here and its just being tossed away like that. I am SO sad. I have fucked up my sleep schedule for this game and now its getting me final juror. ugh. i just wanted to get to the end and like argue my case. but now? not happening :( i hate this

I WON I REALLY WON IMMUNITY ASKDJFHASKDJF I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA LOSE WHEN I GOT 12 POSTS ASJFKHKASJFDHASDKJF THATS SO NNNNN IM SO HAPPY BUT SO SAD BC NOW I TRIED TO TELL MATT IM VOTING HIM BC I WANT TO BE HONEST BUT HE SAYS HES TALKING TO A BRICK WALL LIKE???? SORRY FOR NOT WANTING TO GIVE U FALSE HOPE AJDSFHDKAJ its honestly so rude like ive been in that position before so i know what its like when ur pleading ur case and the person doesnt seem to care and im NOT doing that. but obvioulsy i didnt just make up a plan on what to do at f4 so obviously i have thoughts and plans and im not just gonna switch it up bc u plea to me now. idk KJASHDFKJ also im so scared im gonna lose now NNN hes saying anna played so well and tbh she kind of did maybe i lose no matter what...

So like i am leaving but its ok! why? cause i will preserve my legacy by dropping a whole ass fajita recipe here so that I can feel like i have made an IMPACT on the season. Even though like im still sad its me, im going out with a bang baby! I don't use this recipe personally ( I am a broke student) but its v.good!

Ingredients: 2 large chicken breasts, finely sliced 1 red onion, finely sliced (ready to make you cry) 1 red pepper, sliced 1 red chilli, finely sliced (optional) For the marinade 1 heaped tbsp smoked paprika 1 tbsp ground coriander pinch of ground cumin 2 medium garlic cloves, crushed 4 tbsp olive oil 1 lime juiced 4-5 drops Tabasco

Method: Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6 and wrap 6 medium tortillas in foil.

Mix 1 heaped tbsp smoked paprika, 1 tbsp ground coriander, a pinch of ground cumin, 2 crushed garlic cloves, 4 tbsp olive oil, the juice of 1 lime and 4-5 drops Tabasco together in a bowl with a big pinch each of salt and pepper.

Stir 2 finely sliced chicken breasts, 1 finely sliced red onion, 1 sliced red pepper and 1 finely sliced red chilli, if using, into the marinade. 

Heat a griddle pan until smoking hot and add the chicken and marinade to the pan.

Keep everything moving over a high heat for about 5 mins using tongs until you get a nice charred effect. If your griddle pan is small you may need to do this in two batches.

To check the chicken is cooked, find the thickest part and tear in half – if any part is still raw cook until done.

Put the tortillas in the oven to heat up and serve with the cooked chicken, a bag of mixed salad and one 230g tub of fresh salsa.

hope the random person reading this uses it otherwise gj future me reading this you've officially gone insane! yeet ig?

This is going to be a sad day. I really like Matt and dont want to vote him out but its the best option from the people available. It really sucks. I feel his pain and ahh.

I’m literally going to cry. I want to help Matt. I wish we could all be final 3 but we can’t. I’m dying emotionally. Final 4 always has so much pressure cuz theres only 4 people left. I hope Matt doesn’t hate me. I hope he understands thisnis a game move because he techinically was the underdog in the beginning then was on top then back to underdog. I just hope he doesnt take it personal that I don’t think tie-ing it for him would be good for my game.

OMG IDK WHATS GONNA HAPPEN MATT GO HOME PLS BUT I FEEL LIKE ANNA IS VOTING MAYNOR IM GONNA BE SO SAD AHHHH DJSKFHSDKJF

Matt is voted out 3-1. He becomes the final juror.

ok so i had the worst day of my life today and didnt plan my speech at all so thats where im at NNN time to fake smile and hope the jurors like my ad libbed speech ASFKUHDFKJ ftc starts in 4 minutes.

well.. that was interesting adsjflhasdkfj. Like i always have 0 confidence in myself so i think im gonna lose and i really do respect the game that anna and maynor played. im just sad that i dont think i articulated myself well bc like im so bad with words anajsfhakj and ppl were saying conflicting things and its just not in me to like chime in with my pov to possible sway it in my favor bc i literally hate attention (i say as i broke out into song unprompted) but yaaa like i truly think that maybe i kind of did play super well and deserve to win but either way ill be happy bc i made *some* genuine friendships and also like had so much fun voting ppl out KFADHSKJASHK. i wish i like wrote what all my confessionals were so i could reference sth i said on day 1 but it was prob like i hate my tribe they ignore me so maybe ill just say that again FKJADSHFKJ. we love coming full circle... im so hungry i didnt eat so i will now stop typing to get dinner maybe i will write another confessional. omg wait gotta have some line thats iconic in case theres an episode title... think... love talking to myself FAKSDHFKj im so funny when i was like "i realized hey i respond to myself ill take me to the end" its such a mood KFJASDHFKJ ok but hm... ok. maybe im a snake who doesnt actually care about people and use them to my advantage to get my way but at least im not jayden. OMG jk thats so mean even tho he deserves it ALSO i was gonna like comment on keaton being like "saying the n word doesnt make u racist" but then he was kind of nice to me so i didnt.. love being as fake woke as me... not being confrontational to get a jury vote... so gross NNNN wooh idk how to end this but watch waves music video normani literally snapped so hard is being as slept on as me. omg wait... maybe im a pillow bc i sure am being slept on. iconic line.... i love the hosts so much ignore literally every cringe thing i wrote in this confessional pls FKJADSHKFJ

IM VERY DRUNK AND I DNT KNOW IF I HAD TO. BUT EITHER BRYCE OR ANNA WILL WIN CUZ IM A MES AND DONT DESERVE TO CUZ THEY WERE BOTH AMAZING FOR LETTING ME GET TO FTC. I WANNA THANK ANNA THE HOST FOR BEING AMAZING AND GREAT. I LIKED THE ALICE THEM CUZ HEART CUZ ICANT EMOHJI, ,LOVED THIS SEASON AND UR ALL AMAZING HOSTS.

Im happy I made it to the final 3. And even though FTC was bad; I enjoyed it. I know I’m probably getting 3rd which is fine. I have so much respect to Annabelle and Bryce and everyone in the jury. I’m more excited to be able to talk to all of them again. Let’s see who is our winner will it be Bryce or Annabelle!? The hosts you guys were amazing and i had a great time this season. Im glad Jones pushed and convinced me to apply. Thank you for giving me a spot in this season. And Jones you da best. 💖💛💙

confession time. everytime i write one of these i put the day as who are u and my name as what day is it.. my mind always having to go change it. but um didnt think i would be writing another one of these FJKSADF but i have no self control and winner reveal is in 4 and a half hours and im literally sick FAKJDSk i feel so anxious and nervous like even if i lose im gonna be happy but i just really want to win also im still trying to process ppl not liking me or my gameplay and saying i played with their emotions FJKASDHFJ i had a blast. anyways this is the anthem of the day apparently https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhzN7SfnNeY

WHATS GOING ON?? IM TIRED IS WHATS GOING ON IM SO ANXIOUS! im sooo anxious i want to win. pls...

Bryce wins Celestial Marmoreal in a 4-3-0 vote!

#episode #allmadhere

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