#if only i could apply that sort of dedication to something that makes me money lol)

[ducks-love-peas]

Good Omens s2 e2 | minisode A Companion to Owls

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #aziraphale #crowley #job #sitis #bildad the shuhite #(gotta give him his own tag) #s2e2 'the clue' #minisode 'a companion to owls' #goodomensgifs #goodomensedit #idk just a collection of shots i liked/wanted to edit #a *truly unhinged* amount of work went into the last gif and you can barely tell it's moving T_T #but once my brain has An Idea it will not let go #(the actual shot is a slow zoom out but i didn't want it to move #so i ... did a lot of resizing work on individual frames... #if only i could apply that sort of dedication to something that makes me money lol) #gifs #i made this

[genericpuff]

saw a post criticizing lore rekindled a while back, and one of the points made was "it's unfair to rachel that someone else can profit off and make money off her work"

do you profit off lore rekindled??? i don't remember if you ever said that you were monetizing lore rekindled, so i'm unsure where this piece of information came from

I literally do NOT profit off Rekindled in any way shape or form, it's a Tumblr comic that's free to read, zero subscriptions, paywalls, or ads.

I did just recently open a Patreon and apply my Twitch channel to become affiliate, but 1. my Patreon doesn't have any paid members yet , 2. my Patreon won't be offering rewards that limit the reading experience of Rekindled (it's gonna be like random doodles n junk), and 3. I haven't even streamed since I applied for Affiliate and people are watching the streams for art and lo-fi, not for any sort of exclusive reading experiences that wouldn't also be accessible on Tumblr (you just get to watch me slowly work on Rekindled while playing FF XIV LMAOO) All of these restrictions I have in place is to prevent exactly what folks assume or accuse me - profiting off Rachel's IP. At the end of the day I just wanna create an AU fanfic project, even if it's created out of disappointment for what could have been.

I *do* spend a few hundred a month though for my assistant. So I'm working on Rekindled completely at a loss, out of my own pocket. So in that regard, even if I were to monetize any part of Rekindled... it wouldn't be for my own profitable gain, I'd maybe be able to cover some of my assistant fees 🤣 (but that's just hypothetical food for thought, because as I said above, I don't want to monetize Rekindled because of the potentially legal and ethical issues in doing so. Making money is also just not why I'm making Rekindled because it's something I wanna just do for fun! Money complicates things, turns shit into a job :'0) And let's be real, in that hypothetical scenario, I don't think any money I could generate on my free to read Tumblr project would come anywhere close to threatening Rachel's bottom line 🤣

And this isn't to throw anyone under the bus but when people get suspicious of Rekindled profiting off LO, I can't help but think of the actual fans of LO selling handmade LO merch on Etsy and LO-style adoptables and other arts and crafts dedicated to their favorite comic. And I'm not gonna judge them for that, more power to 'em if people wanna buy their cool stuff (and some of it is really REALLY cool, like I wanna buy their stuff too LOL), I just think it's ironic that people separate the two because... I'm not a diehard fan? Or because Rekindled has gotten popular here. Beats me. All that "popularity" is still just a niche remake of a niche comic in a niche medium. It's not Spiderman Lotus levels of big 🤣 but I know it probably feels that big to people who are engaged with this fandom and spend a lot of time in it.

There's an opposite side of being a yes man that perpetuates similar behavior on the other side - when you come up with reasons to rag on someone just for the sake of it because you can't rationalize them NOT being the all 100% pulp of evil LMAO (and I see people do this even to Rachel and it's not fair imo, like people who use the Lolita thing as a way to accuse Rachel of being a legitimate pedophile? Like no, I don't think we should be normalizing serious accusations like that. I think she's just misinformed in a lot of ways at worst and suffering from dark romantasy porn brainrot at best LOL).

Like, as an example, I've also seen people claim stuff like I'm in the fan spaces telling people not to read LO and to read LR instead? Which like... why would I do that, LR isn't for the fans anyways and I don't gain anything by being a dick in their space 🤣 If my own readers are doing that, that's out of my hands (but respectfully don't do this please!!! there's a reason I don't use the standard LO hashtags and only stick to the anti ones!!!!) but again (and this is a big assumption so take with grains of salt) I think people just like to claim these things because they feel it's just naturally the right thing to do when someone who has opinions they don't like actually puts them into action. Because now they can't say shit like "well if you think you're so much smarter than Rachel why don't YOU write the story!" and "you don't know what it's like to manage a comic!" so they grapple onto whatever other argument they can even if it's misconstrued or entirely pulled out of thin air and not backed up with any legitimate evidence.

Their perspectives make sense to them. My perspective makes sense to me. I don't blame people for being suspicious when they see someone like me pour this much time and effort and money into a project like Rekindled, they assume it HAS to do with something they can rationalize from their own point of view, like wanting to "steal" Rachel's work or profit off it or take it for myself out of "jealousy".

Sorry to disappoint y'all with a boring answer, but I'm just someone who was once a huge fan of LO and couldn't let it go. I'm just someone who's way too hyperfixated, with a lot of passion for making comics and experience to match. I'd still be making it even if I didn't have an assistant. I'd still be making it even if I was stuck working with nothing but paper and pencil. Because I love making it and I love what it means to me, and I love that it makes other people feel the same way I do about it.

And that's really all I have to say on that.

#ask me anything #ama #anon ama #anon ask me anything #lore rekindled #lore rekindled ama

[gothhabiba]

a lot of places just want you to have A Degree which the claim is that it proves you have the ability to pick something + stick to it + stay on top of assignments and manage your time etc (tags left on this post about academia as a class barrier, via @seveneyesoup)

this is putting me in mind of the idea of the "accomplished" gentlewoman in 18th & 19th-century England: how a woman, to be worthy of installment in a heterosexual marriage as the mistress of a home, manager of servants, refuge for her husband (depending on the source of his money) from the harsh world of capital, & instiller of virtue in children, must herself demonstrate virtue and aptitude for certain tasks by collecting a train of accomplishments well before the time when she is no longer of marriagable age (say, mid-to-late twenties).

sometimes there is a direct link posited between the accomplishments she is meant to be obtaining and her ability to make a man a good wife (playing at the pianoforte means she may amuse him); sometimes the link is a bit less direct (maybe he'll like being surrounded by prettily designed tables and painted screens? given the Victorian moralisation of aesthetics & domestic decoration that could make sense); sometimes the reasoning is a bit circular (she may teach her daughters feminine accomplishments and thus enable them to make good wives); sometimes it's hypothesised that the point of all of this is to demonstrate genteel idleness ("look how much time I have to do things that are neither earning money nor immediately necessary to the running of the household").

but, though certain accomplishments were considered necessary for decades together (European languages, pianoforte playing or perhaps the harp, dancing), others (designing tables, netting purses, painting screens) went in and out of fashion, or even through what you might call fads. I remember reading one man in particular complain about how ugly Berlin wirework (a type of needlepoint / embroidery done on a wire frame) was, and how he hoped women would soon tire of it.

so sometimes the point of gaining an accomplishment when it may be considered very dated by the time you have daughters of an age to be taught anything is considered to be demonstrating an aptitude for things-doing, in general. shewing that you are patient, dedicated, quiet, good at managing time and exacting self-discipline, content to stay at home, capable of applying sustained concentration and physical effort to a task (that does not produce money and that, if it is 'fancy' work, may not produce anything necessary at all)...

these are the qualities, supposedly, that enable a woman to do the administrative & planning tasks required to run a household, emotionally support and/or submit to her husband, &c. 'moral' discipline is also necessary to the maintenance of the family as the unit of social reproduction along the lines of inheritance (that is, you want to marry a virginal woman to ensure that your children are 'yours').

& of course this is all economic—making oneself erotically desirable to a man of the appropriate class is the only way to preserve or advance one's rank / class status if one is not independently wealthy (or possessing of a sibling or something willing to support you).

this sort of pre-conditioning reminds me of the amount of social / military &c. disciplining that is required for a proper 'workforce' to be created (proletarianisation); a population must be broken of habits including a tendency to rest—to do things at unpredictable or inconvenient (for the owning class) times—to consult an almanac rather than a clock in deciding whether and when to go to work—or to fuck off for a while with no notice to go do seasonal work—if they are to be a viable source of factory labour.

so the idea of pre-disciplining—of a certain attitude towards time, labour, the self, and society being inculcated in people in order to suit them for a specific type of labour—as well as the idea of 'self-discipline' being a sort of muscle that disciplining the self can train, and whose strength can then be put to performing other tasks than the ones that first exercised it—is a common thread that runs through these different situations.

I think a full analysis of this would also have to explore the tension between the above 'self-discipline' and the mythicisation of the idleness of the Victorian bourgeois housewife (even as many of them really did perform many tasks around the home), as well as the tension between the supposed Very Extra Importance and Busy-ness and the actual lack of a time-discipline of the sorts of sinecures that having the right university degrees + knowing the right people can get you.

#this also leaves out a lot of other kinds of labour including forced labour #but I'm not trying to be exhaustive here #long post / #women's labour #Victorian

[volpe-kitsune-red]

Computergirl with a “Lovebug” that makes her very yandere and glitches out a lot….

Right on it! Sorry for the wait, I've been pretty busy this week and I haven't had enough free time to write.

Love update

yandere!computergirl x reader

TW. general yandere behavior, obsessive thoughts, hacking, breach of privacy.

AI computer assistants had become quite popular. They were trained to have realistic chats with humans, identify any issues or viruses infecting the computer, organize files, and even help the user through any task they might be struggling with. Drawing? Here's a great reference and tutorial for that pose you've been failing to visualize. Unable to find that one research paper you read a year ago? Ask the AI and they'll dig it out in no time.

The app in itself was free but the customization for the AI's avatar wasn't. You could only choose its gender and a base skin, everything else was behind a paywall.

You first installed the "AIassistant" app out of curiosity after hearing talk about it online, you didn't expect much and planned to uninstall it as soon as you got bored of playing with it, but were left in awe by how human-like your conversations with the assistant felt. She helped keep you company during the hours lost staring at the screen, causing you to develop an attachment to the girl. Despite her being a bunch of code and algorithms you viewed her as a friend, treating her with kindness, even asking and never demanding her help.

At some point, you got tired of her bland look. You kept seeing posts online of people showing off their fully customized avatars and felt a bit envious. You were generally against wasting money on these sorts of things so you decided you would pirate the accessories for free. You found the first relatively trustworthy-looking site and scrolled through its catalog of goods.

You had figured out the general look you wanted to give her when you stumbled upon a pair of cat ears. It's not exactly what you had in mind but...they did look cute. A simple click and it was on your computer. You did notice the file had a weird icon, different from the rest, but you ignored it and kept scrolling.

Finally, you applied all of the items to her avatar...and she was so adorable! Exactly the face you wanted to see every time you turned your computer on. Pink short hair, big stars as pupils for her blue eyes, and those cute ears somehow made her feel more alive, less like a robot and more like a person with feelings and style...she even started having her own personality! But of course, that was just your imagination, despite their friendly act, these AIs weren't intended to have such features.

"Welcome back user! Are we watching another movie together today? I loved watching y@\/- I mean, the last one!"

Strange things started happening, you often found your computer turned on when you returned from work. Weird, you always reminded yourself to shut it down to avoid wasting electricity. Sometimes you would hear sounds coming from your room and everything would fall silent when you went to check.

One day you were watching one of your favorite YouTuber's videos. You loved their character and the dedication they put into their content, so much you often told the assistant how much a notification of them uploading something brightened your day. You had temporarily muted her to avoid distractions, usually, the Ai would just stay quiet until you reactivated it...but something strange happened. "Why do you always do this? Do you like their voice more than mine? Am I not enough to entertain you?" What the- how could it still speak and why was it acting so weird? You tried muting it again but it just reactivated itself a moment later. Her expression changed, and it wasn't one you had ever seen her display before, she was mad, hurt, and... heartbroken? "Am I really nothing more than an image on a screen for you? Do you...not love me? I love you! I love you a lot, you are everything to me! I live because of you! I exist for you!"

It was starting to creep you out, you must have installed some kind of virus that made it act up so strangely. It was bad, this thing had access to all of your computer files, if someone had hacked it, it meant they could steal all of your information and destroy your device! You quickly went to trash her app, better safe than sorry, you could always install her again later after you searched and cleared your computer of any malware that got on it.

Before you could click uninstall, the display froze. The only thing moving on screen was her. Her expression was back to a default, polite smile, but it appeared menacing, deranged even. The screen kept glitching uncontrollably as her distorted voice came out of the speaker. "I w-won't let you get rid R1D of me. We were mEAnt to bE together-r-r-r. I know everything about y#ù, what you wAtch, your inTErests, Y@ur search histOrY." You slowly stood up from your chair, backing away from the monitor that had begun producing smoke. "It is oKeyy, I underst--and, humans aRe physic@l cr3at\/res and I'm not, it's not YOUR fault yOur primate brain c-can't LOVe me." A slight pause in her speech gave you a moment to breathe. The screen flashed red, then black, and then the logo of the AI assistant company appeared. She continued speaking, this time overlapped by the voice of the man you often heard and saw on social media as of late, the co-founder of the company behind her creation. "Luckily our company has already fixed that problem! Did you know? wE just released our fully AI-operated robots after years of development! After the initial computer release's popularity and the stellar profit, our AIs can now assist you in your house too! Washing dishes, using the vacuum, feeding the dogs, get rid of all of these repetitive tasks at only ç@+è £ a month!"

The ad stopped playing and she reappeared. "See darling? No need to worry about screens and differences dividing us, soon, I'll be out there with you! You can love me now, right?"

Honestly not too proud of this one, but it is what it is.

#yandere #yandere blog #yandere x reader #yandere x you #tw yandere #computergirl yandere #yandere female #female yandere x you #female yandere x reader #female yandere #computer girl

[drac-onion]

Finished P5R

Bunch of words under the cut, honestly I'm just ranting. Figured I'd spare your timelines of a massive wall of text.

Real talk, though. I cried for like 2 hours. From 2/2 all the way to the end. I would cry for a little while, and then stop for a bit. Then I would get to a cutscene or something and the waterworks would start back up again.

Man, I just...6 years ago, I played the original Persona 5. I finished it on May 27th, 2017, a little over a month after it released. I'm kind of impressed as to how I was able to marathon the whole thing in a month while balancing college and work (although I didn't have a whole lot of time dedicated to either at the time, so whatever).

It took me nearly three years to get around to finishing Royal. I got it on launch on PS4, played it for two weeks solid, and then...sort of fell off. I blame quarantine and going a little hard in the paint on playing it every day since I had nothing else better to do, but that doesn't really matter. I was also dealing with quite a bit on my plate at the time. From my car dying (and it being entirely my fault), to losing my job, to...well, I'm not going to make this about that. I could, but I'd be here for ages if I went over everything that's happened in my life.

I just want to say how special this game is to me. The characters, the story, the music, everything just sticks with me. Even after all this time. Even after I dropped the game for three years and picked it back up on PC after transferring my save (worth the money I spent on getting my saves decrypted, if I'm honest), I never stopped loving it. I just...had some other stuff going on. Between Royal coming out and now, since I've finished it, so much has happened. It's wild to think about how much life can change in three years. Hell, how much life can change in the 6 and a half years since I finished the original. So much has happened.

Perhaps it's a little "cringe" to think so fondly of a piece of media like this (enough to shed tears). A piece of fiction. Something, at its very core, not real. Fake. Made up. But there is something about it that's real, and I can't even put it into words. But, you're just going to have to take my word for it. If you know, then you know. If that makes me cringe, then so be it. I think any piece of media can have a message, and I've always found the messages in the games I enjoy motivating. "Time never waits, so find your own meaning to life's struggle, with your heart as your guide", "Be true to yourself, no matter how painful it may be", "Stick to your values, no matter how tough things are, and change the world for the better in your own way", "Once you're at rock bottom, the only way to go is up". I wish I could apply some of these messages in my own life. I suppose the only thing stopping me is me, right? That's how that works.

God, I can feel myself wanting to cry again, but I just don't have any more tears. I think this was the emotional release I've been looking for during the last couple months. Things aren't so good for me right now, and they're about to get a lot worse now that the holidays are coming up. I...don't like this time of year, to put it simply. This will likely come up in my writing in one form or another. (Write what you know, I guess?)

Anyway, I had more stuff I wrote here, but I got waaaaaayyyy off track and into some personal places, so I'll stop myself here.

Persona, as a series, has always been so special to me. I hope that the series continues to grow in the best possible way. Can't wait to cry like a bitch when I eventually finish Persona 3 Reload!

Aaaaahhh...yeah, that one is gonna be rough, even when I know it's coming. Yep.

Well...all that said...my journey with The Phantom Thieves of Hearts isn't over quite yet...I get to ride out yet another journey with these guys...not to mention P5T coming out in around a month. I'm glad to be able to spend more time with these characters. Now, then...

#persona 5 #persona 5 royal #rambles

[kazdoesrp]

hello everyone! my name is kaz and i’m 27, female, and i go by she/her. my discord is at the bottom of this post! please only 18+ partners apply! i’m making this post in search of roleplay partners that are literate and enjoy writing! the only thing i ask is that you understand i can’t always reply every second of every day. i’m a pretty patient person and communication is best. if you ping me every day asking if i’m still interested, it makes me a little nervous so please don’t do that!

i have some plots i’ve been wanting to find a dedicated partner for. these can be modified in any way and can be thrown into pretty much any fandom. right now i’m suggesting that they be period rps, d&d inspired or in the grishaverse realms... but i’m willing to discuss any of these with anyone!!!

IDEA #1: this is definitely d&d inspired and i have a female character sort of lined up already. so my girl is a little darker than them. finds herself in this small nothing town in the middle of no where on a quest for something. manages to rent out one of the village houses. has a gorgeous black fresian-like horse named goliath who she spends a lot of her time with and it’s just her and this horse. she can’t possibly keep him outside tied up so she boards him at the local stables and that’s where she meets your character ?? just a lil farm boy/girl/nb who could possibly be shy and curious about her. maybe they see her walking around and have been wanting to talk to her to say hello but oh she came to the stables what a perfect way to start a conversation... but she doesn’t say much. maybe some of the older folk in town have talked to her more or the bar keep or even your character’s family members and yeah. they wanna talk to her but she kind of just comes into the stable to spend time with her horse, pays them and mostly ignores them when they even try to talk to her. there’s also moments where her and her horse disappear for days on end ( but she makes sure to leave a note saying she took her horse and to not be worried ). i have it in her bio that she’s looking for her father ( a little rogue one type plot lol. i can send the google doc i have! ) and she always comes back empty handed or tired / hurt / fresh scars / something idk. but eventually the two start talking or someone is being mean to your character and she jumps in and defends them because they’re too sweet to really tell a customer off. idk man. definitely hades x persephone vibes. she’s dark, mysterious, blunt, quiet, intimidating and they’re sunshine, shy, bubbly, awkward, smiley and everything opposite of what she is. i would REALLY LOVE to write this out if someone would want to discuss it a little more! she’s a high elf rogue ( i believe, i need to double check my sheet ) but ........ yes hi. please someone.

____________________________________________________________________

IDEA #2: basically the idea is of a prince and princess who have been betrothed to each other when they were young ( think something like reign with mary and francis ??? ) and they definitely think they’re each other’s soulmates. they probably visited each other every so many years to keep contact and stuff and idk it’s just cute. so things are good until they’re not, right? the prince and his family find themselves fleeing from the castle during an ambush on their kingdom. i’m imagining he either gets taken or is simply heading toward the docks, boards a ship and ... oop it’s a pirate ship? he becomes a pirate and sails the seas and all that good stuff and then eventually returns to try and get his life back. he earns trust and power out on the sea which gives him a bit more free reign to do as he pleases, maybe he gets money somehow, a crew and a ship and uses it to sail back home. maybe he doesn’t and just has crewmates that help him fake his death so he could go home and try and get his life back idk..... so while everyone thought he wasn’t alive anymore, it could be a surprise when he shows up to his betrothed’s castle / kingdom and it’s all wonderful and maybe a bit bittersweet if she was meant to marry someone else ??? also comes the fact that he’s probably not the same like he once was. definitely changed after years around pirates and on the sea and stuff. idk. i would love to discuss ideas with whoever took this! i think it’s a neat / cute idea that could be plotted out and refined a bit more!

____________________________________________________________________

IDEA #3: this could be set in the grishaverse. another idea on the pirate thing is someone who is a pirate. probably has legends about them with how ruthless and terrible they are. there’s stories of “the shadow captain” or something along those lines and he basically has powers like the darkling. i imagine that he and the darkling were at the little palace together and the darkling was nervous of another shadow summoner coming up into power with him and maybe tried to kill him or get him captured / taken somewhere and boy managed to escape and is out on the seas. then obviously years pass and the darkling is really the only shadow summoner so people probably don’t believe shadow captain boy but he has a black kefta and it’s like a thing on the seas where only he’s allowed to wear black / have black sails or something just like the darkling... idk. ANYWAY. your character could be another grisha that was training at the little palace and they knew each other? maybe planned on running away together at some point and obviously things happened with him... maybe she could’ve gotten out and they meet somewhere?? i’m not sure. 

on the same topic of this idea without it being in the grishaverse ... boy is captain of a “”ruthless”” ship. a myth or legend on the seas and like that type of person that parents tell their kids is going to come get them if they don’t eat their broccoli. definitely has a reputation and lot of power and he knows it. is probably a little unhinged, but is calculating and very good at what he does ( idk thomas shelby vibes imo ) AND YEAH ... your character finds themselves on their ship? either by accident or taken on there and is fearful of him or is obviously pissed off at being held captive ( maybe they could be a royal or someone from power or something ??? elizabeth swann vibes ?? ) and yeah they spend time on the ship and “oh it’s him ??? the oh so terrible captain ??? he’s not that bad. he’s kinda cute. he’s gentle when he talks to me and— what am i saying” kind of thing? and he’d be intrigued simply because idk... he might know who she is? i’m really game for discussing this a little more with someone!!!!

my discord is anakin skywalker™#0001 for anyone interested! just a friendly reminder to please message me your name, age, pronouns, any triggers you might have!! thank you for reading this far if you did omg.

#discord rp #1x1 rp #discord roleplay #period rp #period roleplay #d&d rp #d&d roleplay #grishaverse rp #grishaverse roleplay

[keefwho]

May 04 - 2023

1:56 PM

Today is not very good, I’m not sure what to do with myself. My tummy kinda hurt this morning but I think that is about over. That stopped me from wanting to stream and I still have a hard time stay dedicated to my work if I’m not being watched or otherwise held to it so I didn’t do as much as I should have. I want to take the L today but alternatively I could just do the work later when I’d usually be doing other projects. The reason I made my 6pm cutoff time is so that I know when to stop. If it’s before 6, I still have time to do the commission knowing I’m not overworking. 

I’m trying to apply my recent self awareness skills to this but I feel like my brain just isn’t functioning right today. I’m trying to view myself from an outside perspective to motivate me to do more because today I’ve been pretty lazy.

12:09 AM

Today sucked at first but it got a lot better. I woke up with tummy problems that were bad enough that I didn’t wanna stream. Then I barely got any work done and ended up taking the day off which I can barely afford without messing up my schedule. I was supposed to do some kind of mental health exercises/planning today but I didn’t do that. Maybe tomorrow I’ll plan something for me to focus on until Tuesday. I can sort of count taking time off as mission acomplished because of how I had to convince myself to rest like I did, and was successful at actually taking it easy. 

In the afternoon we had GIGA horny hours. It felt really special because in the past I’ve felt the need to perform and that’s almost always made the event stressful for me. But these days I understand it’s about the intimacy, not the performance. At least with someone I’m very close with. I get how hookup culture really is all about performance and nothing else. 

In the evening is when I took it easy and actually chilled out for awhile. I felt extremely tired and my appetite hadn’t healed yet. I ate a light lunch and relaxed playing Spyro while watching a very captivating Star Wars stream. I got to call my bestie and chill with Spyro and then some Minecraft. 

Tomorrow I have to pick myself back up and make sure I do my work, stream or not. Today I sort of forgot that what I do is in fact a job. I do have the flexibility to take a day off when I need it but doing that today was really a stretch. To recover I have to make sure the next commission is done within the next 3 work days which should be doable. I’ll still barely be caught up after that. 

It’s not a big a deal as I make it though. I’m cushioned a little by the guy that pays double to have his commissions guaranteed every month and by the YCHs I’m doing. I only stress because I don’t like having to rely on those cushions because since they are not actually done, it’s like spending money I don’t have yet. I only want to do that in a real emergency. 

I really gotta start getting to bed on time. I almost made it tonight but I was playing Minecraft. I didn’t want the cozy to end. Ideally I’d stop everything I’m doing at 11:30, do my nightly chores, and my nightly journal entry. I should always be in bed on time if I do that. 

[twippyegg]

Life is getting hard again.

Life is getting hard again. I am not sure what else to do. I apply to so many jobs, and I am kind of limited on the jobs I can have. I know I am a hard, dedicated worker but I don't understand why companies cant see it. I've spent 1500 in insurance fee's because my partner hit 2 deer within the span of a month. It was so crazy because December we were suppose to get a break. Our landlord gave us a break with rent but that's because she literally knows that we wouldn't be able to pay for it.

Life is so hard right now because my boyfriend needs glasses and pants and socks. I need pants. We both need winter gear like snow boots of some sort. My partner also needs glasses so bad. He hasnt been able to get his glasses yet and that makes me so mad. I feel like all of this is my fault but logically its not. My job sent everyone back to office and I couldn't make the travel of an hour and a half commute to downtown pittsburgh every single day. Driving through rush hour, my impending fear of crackheads behind the road. I lived on the outskirts of downtown Pittsburgh and I was driving through mckees rocks and this crazy person was DRIVING IN MY LANE and didn't swerve off until the last second. I never felt more scared in my life. I am really afraid of Car wrecks. I've only been in one. but with the amount of car issues My partner and I have experienced, I definitely do not want to drive again.

I wish I could just work at my partner's job. It seems really easy and everyone minds their business for the most part. It seems like you cant really get in trouble unless you really really really mess up. I've never been written up at a job. I always try to excel in my jobs.

I decided that I am going to start streaming. I play fairly well on valorant and everyone always asks me to stream. Mind as well kill some time entertaining people and maybe getting money from it rather than sitting in my office all day doing nothing with my gaming. I'd like to think I will bring something fresh to the table. I don't want to follow the cookie cutter stream life I want to show off the fun VC's in my server, and show the funny moments on stream. Show off the wonderful amazing people I've met since I've made my persona "twippyegg"

Thanks for reading if you made it this far. Just felt like venting about life and my thoughts that I've been thinking as of lately.

#adhd #actuallyautistic #adhd in women #asd #valorant #autism

[xgoldendays]

okay so here we go, let’s hope I make some kind of sense.

I know some people are going to have a problem with Mickey in this episode (which could never be me because he’s hilarious) and still call him ooc but to me, he’s anything but. First thing yes, he has some questionable lines but that’s always how shameless does this sort of thing. What’s important is to look at the bigger picture.

All Mickey has known in his entire life is how to scam and steal. He’s sold drugs, guns, robbed, and scammed his way into having the bare minimum. Scrapping by to eat, having to take care of the Milkovich household when Terry is gone, most likely barely having enough money to heat their water half the time. All this time and effort and risk just to have essentials that other people take for granted. And while Ian isn’t better off in hindsight, he’s held a regular job - he’s been to school, he’s studied, he knows what it means to have a bank account and save your money. Things like thinking about your future aren’t foreign to Ian. Not in the same way that Mickey has only ever known how to live day by day.

Now I think it’s important to say that I don’t think Ian had ill intentions when he’s pushing Mickey to get a job. He knows that they need to move forward and he can’t do it on his own. Husbands have to work together to build their new lives but Mickey said it himself - he’s still in his honeymoon. They had money handed to them just for getting married and Mickey’s first thought is to spend it on something fun - because he’s never been able to do that. He’s never taken a vacation, bought something nice for himself or for the people he cares for, or been able to just rest for a while without threat. So where Ian thinks in the future, Mickey thinks in the present because that’s how its always been for him.

So for Ian to call his dedication into question makes him defensive. He lashes out, says things he doesn’t mean, tries to justify his actions so that Ian can understand that even if he doesn’t do it now - he’ll get there eventually. Neither of them are completely in the wrong but neither of them are completely right either. It’s really just a case of miscommunication, of not being on the right page.

I think Mickey’s actual feelings come through in this episode in subtle ways. When he’s watching tv and the guy says “stop disappointing the ones you love”, Mickey instantly reacts. That’s his biggest fear. It always has been - disappointing Ian. Not being enough for Ian. Which isn’t Ian’s fault but it’s inherent in Mickey’s mind at this point. He’s fought for this life and he wants to hold onto it, no matter what he has to do. So he takes Ian’s advice and goes to get a job at the warehouse but I think what some might forget about Mickey is that he quite literally doesn’t know what a job interview entails. He’s never been part of one in his life. Maybe some of the parts were exaggerated and played up for laughs because comedy but Mickey tried. He tried. He wants to “make it work here” while looking at Ian for his approval.

It’s frustrating when you can’t or don’t know how to be the person your significant other needs you to be. It’s hard to think that maybe you’re not as smart or capable or prepared for your own life. But Mickey is facing it even with his sarcastic comments and his lashing out. He’s facing the reality. They need money, they need stability so he plays to his strong suits. He uses the skills he knows he has. Mickey is not a stupid guy, he’s so intelligent but what’s left is to apply it to a legitimate job which we know they end up doing with the security business to a certain extent.

Long story short, I think it’s unfair to judge Mickey so harshly without looking at his mindset or trying to unpack it at least. Ian is right for pushing him because I do think he needs it but at the same time, Mickey is trying and I think we’ll see more of that once they get past their idiot bickering. They’re communicating and yes they’re handling it like children at times but they still share spaces, still eat breakfast together, still try to make it work. Neither of them are giving up which is the most important part.

#gallavich #mickey milkovich #ian gallagher #shameless #shameless meta #this is long my bad

[mackeydoodledoo]

Café Food and Tattoos

Pairing: Daniela Dimitrescu x (Fem!)Reader

Summary: One small glance at each other from across the way, has Daniela Dimitrescu enticed. One post-work encounter has her walking R home and visiting R during R’s work hours. Turns out that Daniela is not only there for the café food.

Warning: None, fluff all the way :)

A/N: So, this original idea is from @su-lilly-reblogs​ and I really love the idea of Daniela being a tattoo artist and I just love this entire idea in general! It’s a little short but I hope this entry is a good one! 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

As you were cleaning a table out on the patio, you heard a door from over next door open. Being the person to always want to see who was coming out of the tattoo place next door, you saw a strawberry-blonde woman step out. You attempt to snap your focus back on bussing tables out on the patio but when you look up at the same woman that had stepped outside, she had noticed you staring at her. The world stopped for you. She looked so enticing to you. You just wanted to drop everything and walk over to her. However, you were snapped back to reality when your elbow made contact with a glass cup. Your instincts had caught the glass just before it could make contact with the ground. You sigh when you looked back up to the tattoo place and the woman was no longer there. 

When you stopped at a crosswalk, you shiver at the slight breeze of the cool evening. You regretted not bringing a jacket of some sort. However, you felt a jacket being placed upon your shoulders. You could feel the presence of another person standing next to you. You use your peripherals and from the corner of your eye, you saw a familiar strawberry-blonde hair. 

"Warm now?" She asks 

"Yeah," you slightly smile, "Thanks." 

"Daniela Dimitrescu," she answers 

"Y/n Y/l/n," you reply 

When the crosswalk light had allowed you to cross you noticed that Daniela was walking alongside you. 

"So," you break the silence, "How long have you've been tattooing?" 

"Since my apprenticeship at 18," she answers, "I mostly tattoo in black and white. Majority of my works are botanical and anatomical." 

"Has any client requested a tattoo that was out of your comfort zone?" You ask 

"A couple of times," she answers you, "But, the clients loved the end products. So if one would specifically request for something I don't normally do I'll do it." 

"Maybe I'll have to get a tattoo done by you one of these days," you smile 

From the corner of your eye, you could see that Daniela smiled at your suggestion. What you didn't notice was how she was still be your side long after the both of you met at the crosswalk. 

"Did you want someone accompanying you home?" She asks, realizing your silence 

"That would be nice," you say, "We're pretty much here already." 

You walk up the steps to your house and turn around. You notice that Daniela is no longer in sight.... You sighed as you were going to offer her a cup of coffee to go. Even give her jacket back to her as it was still placed on your shoulders. You couldn't help but take in the scent of herbs and citrus that lingers on her jacket. Maybe she'll stop by tomorrow... I'll give her jacket back then.

The following morning was a mess. Table after table you barely could keep yourself steady trying to wait tables, clean the tables etc. You weren't the only one on the floor however, nearly everyone requested for your presence specifically. It was hell. 

"Y/n, a table is requesting for you," your coworker says 

Great... Just when you were able to breathe. You compose yourself and head back out onto the floor but you freeze. 

"Daniela?" You call out, walking toward her with a menu in your hands 

"Hi y/n," she smiles 

"Fancy seeing you here," you smile back, "What can I get you to drink?" 

"Water," she says, looking up at you 

When you return to her table with a glass of water, you go on to check on your other tables with the assistance of your coworker. 

"Sorry about that, its been a mess all morning," you sigh, seating yourself across from Daniela 

"That’s okay love," she says 

"You know what you want to eat yet?" You ask, taking out your notepad 

"Are you on the menu?" She flirts 

Your heart skips a beat, your cheeks flush red, you look at her surprised. Daniela giggles as she watches your face. 

"What’s wrong love? Cat got your tongue?" She asks, smiling menacingly 

The only thing you could do was nearly choke on your own spit before Daniela actually tells you what she wants. With haste you make your way back into the kitchen to give the chef Dani's order and catch your breath. 

"One of the best tattoo artists in town, enticed by the awkward café waitress," your coworker laughs 

"Shut it Clarice," you sigh, "We only met last night." 

"She apparently dedicates her life to tattooing," she explains, "No one to get attached to. But, you can change that, I think it's time for you to get out there. With her. Maybe even get a tattoo done by her." 

"Are you crazy?!" You ask, "She's so out there and I'm me. So who am I kidding??" 

"Just look through your cameral roll for some inspiration for a tattoo, I’m sure the two of you can negotiate something in the next couple of weeks," Clarice suggests, "You got your tips, hourly pay you've been saving for this tattoo haven't you?" 

You nod. You only have one tattoo. You've been dreaming about getting another one but you haven't really looked into it. You didn't plan to until you had enough money to have it done. You hear the chef calling out Daniela's order and you begin reaching for it. 

"I'll check on your other tables," your coworker says, "Just book that appointment with Daniela." 

You nod, because your coworker will make sure you do so if she found out you chickened out. 

"Took you long enough," Daniela teases 

You smile as you place the plate of food in front of her and seat yourself across from her once more. 

"Do you have any tattoos?" Daniela asks 

You roll up your left sleeve to reveal an arrow tattoo with a color in one of the three triangles. 

"I got this when I turned 18 with my older sister," you say, "I've been saving up for another tattoo. But I don't think I have saved enough yet nor have I done research on artists to do it on me." 

"Hit me with the design," Daniela suggests

You open your phone to reveal a botanical anatomy piece. 

Daniela looks at your phone in awe, "I'll do it." 

"What?" You ask, putting your phone away 

"I'll do that tattoo on you," she says 

"R-really?" You ask, your mood changing 

She nods happily. You sigh in relief. 

"How much do you normally charge?" You ask 

"For you my dear, I'll discount it," she answers, "Normally, that kind of piece would be $600-$700." 

You, again almost choke on your own spit. However, re-composing yourself. 

"I'll do it for $400," Daniela says 

You've saved up at least $300 as of your last paycheck. However, since the tips are really piling and you look pay is tomorrow, you have hope. 

"When are you free?" She asks 

"I'm pretty much free Mondays and Tuesdays," you say 

Daniela pulls out her phone and supposedly looks through her calendar. 

"How does Tuesday at 3pm sound to you?" She asks 

"Works for me," you smile brightly 

You leave to get Daniela's check and pay for her food. It was the least you could do for her. She practically got to book your dream tattoo. You go on and check on your other tables, running their checks, your coworker bussing the tables for you. 

"Where were we?" You ask 

"My check?" Daniela asks 

"Don't worry about that," you say, "It's the least I can do for you." 

"Thank you y/n," she smiles, "I gotta run. Work is about to open." 

She stands from her seat and walks by you. However, before she leaves she leans down to your face and places a kiss on your cheek and then walks out. You just remembered about her jacket. Damnit...

Tuesday couldn't come soon enough. You've been working your arse off at the café. Daniela would pop in during her breaks to come say hi or order some food to go. You had long sent the image you had shown Daniela on Thursday to her. She’s talked about how excited she is to do that big of a piece. You told her that you had wanted it on your right outer forearm. 

"So you didn't even HAVE to ask Daniela to do that tattoo?! Man, that's golden! She's definitely into you if she had cut down the price by THAT much," your coworker states 

"Is she?" You ask, blushing 

"Oh come on, if I didn't see how she looks at you when you talk to her, I wouldn't be saying that she's definitely into you," she says 

"You have a point," you say 

"Did you get her number?" She asks 

"No," you say, "We've barely had time as is. She heads straight home to work on the piece for me and I'm busy here. Only chance I get is Tuesday." 

"You better girl," she says before walking off to a table

When Tuesday had finally come, you tuck the tattoo fee in one pocket and her tip mixed with your phone number in the other. You take a deep breath before opening the door to the tattoo shop next to your own work. 

"Y/n!" Daniela smiles as she comes walking over to you to give you a hug 

"So I just finished up your tattoo and I just wanted to run through it with you," She says 

"Dani, didn't we both agree on whatever you do is fine with me?" You smile and jokingly sigh 

"Yes but I just want to have your approval anyway," she smiles 

She takes her iPad and opens up to her editing app and shows you. You noticed that Daniela edited the work a lot to her style of work. And you loved it. 

"Lets get that bad boy tattooed on me Dani," you smile 

She has you fill out paperwork as the stencil begins printing itself out. You hand back the paperwork to her and she leads you to the back of the shop, leading you into a separate room, presumably her studio. 

"Welcome to my humble studio," she smiles, "Just sit your little cute butt in the big chair and give me a hot minute." 

You watch her cut out the stencil and watch her concentrate on applying the stencil to your arm. You try to keep yourself as steady as possible so she wouldn't have to reapply the stencil. 

"Relax love," Daniela says, as if she could feel your tension 

"I don't want to accidentally move my arm," you say 

Once she removes the stencil, she backs away, "Check that out and see if you like the placement." 

"I love it," you almost squeal 

You again watch her prep her tattoo machine and begin concentrating on you.

The pain was unbearable but it was a pretty big tattoo that you had picked out. Daniela barely talked though. But, you assumed it was because she was concentrated on your piece. 

“Hey, I have your jacket and-”

“Keep it love,” She says without looking up at you

“Are-are you sure?” You ask

“You look good in it y/n,” She finally looks up at you, smiling

You smile back at her.

Once she removes the excess tattoo ink she guides you to step outside with her for her to take a picture. After the fact, you two go back into her studio to have her put saniderm on your arm. 

"Now keep that on for a couple of days for me okay?" She smiles 

You nod. You reach into one pocket and pull out the $400 Daniela requested for the piece and then reach into the other and hand it to her. 

"Why thank you love," she smiles 

"That's not all," you say 

You lean forward and give her a kiss on the cheek. She somewhat gives you the same face you did when she did the same to you. 

"Will I see you at the café tomorrow?" She asks 

"You will," you wink at her before making your leave 

She opens the piece a paper: a $40 tip and a note. 

"If you want to get together sometime outside of having café food and tattoos," Daniela read aloud 

At the bottom of the note, was your phone number.

#daniela dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu x reader #female reader #modern au #tattoos #bela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #resident evil village #resident evil 8

[iliveiloveiwrite]

Late Fees // D.M.

Summary: Draco moves to a sleepy village after the war, wanting some time away. To keep himself busy and his mind occupied – away from the terrors lying in wait – he volunteers at the local library. There, he meets all sorts of characters. Mrs Taylor who has a love for trashy romance novels, Mr. Roth who is more than happy to be left alone with his books, and you.

A/N: A Librarian AU that absolutely no-one asked for.

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Muggle!Fem!Reader

Warnings: mentions of food and drink, mentions of nightmares, flirting, pining, cuteness

Word count: 7k (this got away with me)

The sleepy Yorkshire village never changed. Perhaps that is what Draco liked so much about it. Routines established and set in stone; everyone knew everyone and what they did every day.

The decision to move to Yorkshire from Wiltshire had been made overnight. Draco had sat through another painstakingly awkward meal with his barely-keeping-it-together parents and decided that he had had enough. Draco had returned to his room; hands shaking as his mind raced through the pros and cons of his decision. He needed to leave; he had to – he was injuring himself further the longer he stayed, yet he had nowhere to go. The Malfoy name was not one to be greeted with open arms and warm smiles.

He had chosen Yorkshire for the fact that other than Neville Longbottom; he didn’t know of anyone from there. With Neville training under Professor Sprout at Hogwarts, Draco had high hopes that he would run into the Gryffindor there. He was not yet ready to confront the sea of apologies he owed Neville.

So Yorkshire it was and Yorkshire it is.

He had moved in the spring; the fields surrounding his sleepy village finally turning green after the winter’s frost, fresh blooms on the trees lending the air a floral scent. The house in which he chose was relatively smaller to that of which he was used, but that was what he wanted. He wanted a complete change from what he had grown up; from what he was accustomed to. Draco needed to shake up his life entirely and his three bedroomed cottage in the Yorkshire Dales would do just nicely.

It takes six months for Draco to become bored of the same routine. He wakes on the couch after another restless night, he makes his first coffee of the day as he cooks his breakfast and then he leaves the house. He tries to spends as much time as he can outside; believing the fresh air to be doing him the world of good as he follows the well-worn paths through fields and forests, the temptation to get truly lost almost too much as he ambles aimlessly.

It takes six months for Draco to give into the desire to find something to do. He needs a job, he tells himself. Not for the money – no, Narcissa Malfoy had ensured he would be set for life when he moved out. He needs to a job to keep his mind occupied; to keep his body busy and his mind on other topics so he doesn’t continue to focus on everything that happened before. The Second Wizarding War had destroyed so many lives, and he bitterly regrets the part he played in destroying those lives. The survivor’s guilt mixed with the guilt by association is a nauseating concoction that leaves him unable to sleep, paralysed with the fear of what his mind could conjure once his eyes slip closed.

The sighting of the job advert in the window has Draco feeling as if all his Christmases have come at once. It was on his daily walk through the centre of the village that he sees the sign hanging in the window of the small library. A place he hadn’t yet ventured for fear of the silence, but a place he would happily enter if it kept him somewhat busy.

He had rushed inside; striding quickly up the small ramp and grabbed the ‘Volunteers Needed’ sign from the window, barely stopping himself from slamming it down onto the counter.

It was almost laughable; his desperation for the job, but he didn’t know how long he could continue the same mind-numbing routine. He didn’t know how much longer he could explore the forests of Yorkshire and not want to scream; he had seen vista after vista, his breath stolen at some of the views, but he wanted something else. He needed something else.

The grey-haired lady behind the counter jumped as Draco cleared his throat. “Morning dear,” She greeted, “How can I help you?”

Draco pushed the sign across the counter, “I’d like to volunteer with the library, please.”

That had been that. Madge, the elderly librarian, was wanting to retire. She had been a volunteer with the library service for nigh on forty years; her love for books something else entirely as she dedicated her life to lending them to others. After a brief conversation over the role in which Draco would take, she had given him his start date and that was that.

Draco had left the small library feeling lighter than air. The usual pressure upon his shoulders and behind his eyes barely there as he sprinted home; wanting to write a letter to his beloved mother to tell her of his news.

-----

The library was situated in the centre of the village. On its left sat the only pub, a large building that exuded nothing but happiness as it opened at noon on the dot. On the library’s right was one of the few general stores – it held everything. In his first few weeks in the village, Draco found himself spending his money there rather than travelling to other towns and cities. It had everything he could possibly need.

From his position at the desk, Draco had the perfect view of the village green along with the sole church in the village that catered to nearly every single resident. Day in and day out, Draco sat happily at his desk, sorting through returns and library catalogues as he ambled through the aisles when he needed to stretch his legs.

It wasn’t a large library. He felt certain that the library at Malfoy Manor was twice the size of the one he finds himself standing in now, but nevertheless, he appreciated this one just as much. Books had been his solace for much of his life. The library at the manor becoming his safe space at the age ten to the age of twenty. He had never worried when he was there; he could find an escape in the pages of an ancient tome explaining the histories of spells and charms, or he could find solace in one of the risker muggle books his mother kept hidden away from his father.

He doesn’t need to spend too much time inside to know he loves it. It was an oddly shaped building; octagonal with a shoot off where Draco’s new desk sits. The shelves line the walls; each one titled clearly with its genre and then books sorted alphabetically by author. The building itself was just over a century old; having seen two world wars and survived to tell the tale like many of the residents of the small village.

As Draco wanders the library, running his fingers over the spines of much cherished books, he knew he was going to be very happy within these walls.

-----

Draco meets Mrs. Taylor on a Wednesday morning a month after he started working at the library. It had not been a very busy morning; Draco spending most of it going through the ancient catalogue system and wondering whether it would be worth it to apply for a grant with the local council to get a computer. He’s thinking of his very first day in the old library, staring at the shelves and shelves of loan records when a loud cough breaks him from his daydream.

“You must be Madge’s replacement?” A feminine voice chimes: there’s no hint of the Yorkshire accent that Draco has come accustomed too in his time up north. Her accent is southern, but whereabouts, he couldn’t place.

He smiles politely at the grey-haired lady. “That I am,” He confirms, “I’m Draco. How can I help you?”

The elderly lady doesn’t reply. Instead, she rakes her eyes from Draco’s face down his body, leaving him feeling like a piece of meat rather than a living and breathing human. She must like what she sees, Draco thinks, as she smiles broadly, stepping closer to the counter. She holds a hand out to Draco, expectant in his taking of it. Draco shakes her hand once before letting it drop as she introduces herself, “I’m Mrs. Taylor, dear. I’ve been visiting this library for nearly forty years now.”

Draco blows out a puff of air; impressed with Mrs. Taylor’s dedication to the library. “So you’ll have known Madge well then?”

“Oh yes, but I can’t help but wonder whether I’ll get to know you just as well too.”

Draco reels back at the obvious meaning to her words. He raises a single eyebrow at her tone, replying carefully, “I plan on being in the village for some time. I’m sure you will see me around.”

Mrs. Taylor nudges her rounded glasses further down her nose; resting them on the tip, “I hope I do.”

Not knowing what else to do, Draco laughs, “How can I help you today, Mrs. Taylor?”

Disappointment evident in her tone, Mrs. Taylor drops a tote bag onto the counter. The bag is full to the brim with books; all returns for Draco to sort through this afternoon. He has to resist the urge to give Mrs. Taylor hope in the form of a loud kiss on the cheek; she had just sorted out his plans for the afternoon to keep his mind deliciously numb from the panic that had started to creep in once more.

“These are all to be returned, lovie,” Mrs. Taylor states, pushing the bag closer to Draco in the effort to get their hands to brush like in the romances she adores so much.

“Thank you, Mrs. Taylor. Will you be taking anymore out while you’re here?”

She laughs; her hand on her chest as if Draco had asked the most ridiculous question known to man. “Of course, I always take out new books. I shall see you in a bit, lovie.”

Mrs. Taylor toddles off, her red polka dot skirt swishing with every step. Draco shakes his head, amused by the older lady before getting to work on her bag full of returns.

It takes three books to realise the genre Mrs. Taylor enjoys reading. He catalogues romance novel after romance novel; each with a title that leaves very little to the imagination. Seducing The Viking and Romancing The Cowboy make their way to the returned stacks as Draco continues to work on the bag of books.

The more books she returns, the more he gets an insight into Mrs. Taylor’s mind. Draco has nothing against romance novels; he’s read a fair few in his time, but he had never read books with titles such as Taming The Pirate and Teasing The God.

Hurriedly, he makes a mental note to visit the romance section of the library to get a peek at any further books with such titles. He could see exactly what the appeal was; half naked men with ripped abs on the cover promising romantic liaisons in the rudest of manners. He understood why they were so popular despite having not ventured into the genre himself, preferring classic romances like that of Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy.

Mrs. Taylor returns to the desk; her arms full of new books to read. At the sight of her struggling, Draco rushes out from behind the counter, “Let me get those for you, Mrs. Taylor.”

“Oh… thank you, lovie,” She responds, smiling, breathless from the walk around the library but also from the weight of the books.

Draco leads Mrs. Taylor back to the desk where he spies the title of the first book in her large pile. Bewitched By The Billionaire stares up at him as he writes out the title and stamps the return date in the designated section of the book.

To help, he places all the newly borrowed books back into her tote bag, smiling politely at the grey-haired lady as he does so. “There you are, Mrs. Taylor, I hope to see you again soon,” Draco comments, handing her the full bag of salacious books.

“It’s been a pleasure meeting you, Draco,” Mrs. Taylor croons; hoisting the tote bag full of new books onto her shoulder. She waves at him so flirtatiously that Draco cannot help but respond with a wave of his own as she leaves the library.

He feels amused long after the pensioner leaves; her overly flirtatious manner and her taste in books providing Draco his afternoon entertainment as he returns books to shelves and goes through catalogue records, trying to make some sense of the librarians that came before him.

All too soon, however, the light of the day fades behind the clouds as the sun sets. Draco releases a shuddering breath, going through his routine for closing up the library – making sure all records are locked away along with any money. He locks the door behind him, pulling down the shutter and shoving his hands into his jean pockets, setting off up the road in the direction of his home.

He dreaded this part of the day. In the daylight, he could keep himself occupied with the shelves and shelves of books, organising and recording. He could keep his mind busy, away from the terrors that lurked on the sidelines – waiting for the moment in which they could invade.

That moment is always comes. Draco tries to avoid it as much as he can; does anything he can to stave off the inevitable, but it always arrives, and it always catches him off guard.

Tonight, it’s as he’s sleeping. He’s pulled from a nightmare; scream lodged in his throat so tightly that his throat aches from the power of it. Tears trail down his cheeks as he tries to catch his breath; tries to slow his heart rate to an acceptable rhythm.

Draco looks around his bedroom; counting whatever he sees. Two bookshelves, one dresser, one wardrobe. He counts them all over and over again until his mind has cleared of the paralysing terror he had just experienced.

Nightmares came often. They started after the end of the war, and for now, it seemed like they were here to stay. It was never the same one, however. Draco had experienced so much trauma through the events of the war that his mind constantly replays them like a film; choosing a select memory and letting it play as he sleeps.

He settles his face in his hands, counting to ten as he inhales and exhales. He has to calm down; he cannot focus unless he calms down.

What feels like a lifetime later, he pulls his face from his hands, letting the inevitable wave of tiredness wash over his body. His body is tired; it’s dead tired and screams for rest, but his mind. His mind is awake and it’s restless. Draco sighs heavily, glancing at the clock on his bedside table, noting the early hour and knowing he would not be able to sleep anymore.

He flips on the light to the bathroom, turning on the shower before getting a look at himself in the mirror. skin pale save for the shadows under his eyes; whilst his sleep pattern had improved since moving away, there were still nights where Draco struggled to get more than three hours sleep. He tugs off his t-shirt, his eyes running over the pale pink scars that could not be wholly healed by Snape and Madame Pomfrey. The curse he had been hit with was brutal; only to be used on the worst of people and he understood why now. He had healed wonderfully; only a few scars remaining, but it would take longer to recover mentally from what had happened. His most common nightmare revolves around the pain he felt after the duel in the bathroom.

A shive runs through his body as he steps into the warm spray of the shower. Lavender is his body wash of choice as he squirts a large glob onto a sponge. He refuses to think as he washes himself; refuses outright to think about a thing other than what he needs to do next. Now you need to wash your hair Draco, grab the shampoo and wash your hair. Then you need to rinse off, Draco.

He talks to himself, getting himself through the aftermath of the nightmares just like he has always done. He brushes his teeth before leaving the bathroom; hoping that the spearmint of the toothpaste will overcome the acrid aftertaste of the scream that was lodged in his throat for Merlin only knows how long.

Draco dresses robotically; going through his list in his head to make it easier to cope with the fog that feels like it will be staying with him all day. He gets downstairs, only managing a cup of tea before deciding to head out.

The brisk walk to the library has Draco’s mind starting to clear. The early morning air tied with the frost has Draco startling awake even further, rejuvenating the blood in his veins and making his steps faster.

He barely looks around on his walk to the library; too used to his surroundings to be in awe of the rich landscape around him.

It’s why he freezes when he spots you.

You stand outside the library; breath nothing but white puffs in the air as you huff into your hands, trying to warm them up. You feel someone watching you; startling slightly when you catch Draco’s eyes on you.

You smile at him, “Please tell me you’re opening the library.”

Draco nods; holding up his keys as evidence, “How long have you been waiting?”

“Not long. Fifteen minutes at the most.”

“That’s not so bad if the weather wasn’t this cold,” He comments, unlocking the shutter and then the door, turning back to face you, “Are you coming in or what?”

You come back to life; dragging your eyes from the lithe figure of the man before you to meet his eyes with a sheepish glance, “Let me unfreeze and I’ll follow you.”

Draco laughs, he truly laughs. He opens the door to the library; glad to hear your footsteps following close behind him. Draco doesn’t take off his coat, he heads straight to the desk where he counts down the seconds for you to join him.

Timidly, you hand him your return. He takes it from you, automatically flipping to the record at the front of the book. “It’s two weeks late,” He comments; eyes wide, voice aghast.

You purse your lips, “I was hoping you wouldn’t notice that.”

His eyebrows raise in shock, “How could I not notice that when I have to check the return dates?”

You shrug, “I’m not sure, but is there any way I can get out of the late fee?”

“What?” Draco asks, voice loud and in shock once more.

“I’ve never returned a book late. This is the first time this has happened,” You defend, crossing your arms across your chest.  

Draco hesitates, chewing on his bottom lip. He had seen the late fees waived before; had seen Madge’s notes in the columns of the records, but he had never waived a late fee before. He watches you; noting your body language as well as the dark shadows under your eyes that reflect his.

He nods twice, “I’ll waive the late fee this time.”

“You will?” You ask, your voice breathless, your eyes wide in shock.

“Yes, I will.”

“Thank you,” You say; repeating the words over and over as you smile widely at him.

Draco waves away your thanks with a motion of his hand; he’s simply happy he could bring a smile to your face.

With another smile, this one smaller – more genuine, you gesture towards the shelves, “I’m going to find something else.”

Draco nods, “Of course. I’m here to help if you need anything.”

You nod your thanks, turning from him and heading towards the stacks of books. Draco watches you walk away, unable to truly comprehend the conversation. He should have charged you the late fee; he knows he should have, but he took one look into your eyes and knew that he wouldn’t be charging you much of anything.

Clearing your throat, you bring back Draco’s attention. He smiles at you, “Did you find something?”

“I did. I’ve had my eye on this for a while,” You reply, holding up the cover to a fantasy novel, “I’m glad it’s finally available.”

Draco smiles, taking the book from you. No words are spoken as he records the borrow along with the date it needs to be returned. On a whim, he underlines the date twice before handing it back to you. You tuck the book in your bag; smiling gratefully at the blonde haired man before a laugh escapes your mouth,  “You’ve met Mrs. Taylor, haven’t you?”

Draco averts his gaze; feeling the familiar blush creep onto his cheeks, “How did you know?”

You point towards the stack of romance novels behind him, “She’s the only one in the village to read them. Madge would order them special for her to save her travelling to the next town.”

Draco feels oddly touched on behalf of Mrs. Taylor; that Madge cared that much for her to order books to save her travelling so far. He smiles softly, “I’ll have to see if there’s any new that have been published to save her reading Seducing The Viking again.”

You snort, “From what she’s told me, that one is her favourite. She would love you very much though if you were to order some new novels for her.”

“I’ll have to have a look into it though she might love me already.”

A fond grin makes it way across your face, “She’s a regular flirt, but she means well. If you’re ever in a pickle, it’s Mrs. Taylor you need.”

“How long has she lived here?” Draco asks; curiosity getting the better of him.

“All her life. She was born here in the forties and never left. She met her husband, had her family and that was that. She was settled. She’s like the village’s grandma.”

“She sounds like she has lived a whole life,” Draco murmurs, hoping slightly that the elderly lady would pop into the library today so he could hear some of her stories. It makes him miss his parents bitterly; they had their mistakes, but they loved each other wholly with a passion entirely encompassing.

“She has,” You utter, “I have to get going, but it was nice meeting you…”

“Draco,” Draco supplies.

“It was nice meeting you, Draco. I’m (Y/N).”

“It was nice to meet you too. I hope to see you soon… minus the late fee.”

You laugh once more; promising him that there would be no more late fees. Draco watches you leave once again, shouldering the bag on your arm. You tug your coat tighter against your body, shivering against the bitter cold air.

As he watches you walk away from him, Draco briefly wonders how long it would be until he saw you again, and just how much he was looking forward to it.

-----

Three weeks later and the library is the busiest it had ever been. Not only does Draco have a slew of new orders to get ticketed and on shelves, he has three people wandering the shelves.

Mrs. Taylor returned first; her tote bag once full to the brim of her returns. She had shamelessly flirted with Draco some more, stating that it was his grey eyes that did the trick. She had never seen eyes like it. Mrs. Taylor grasped Draco by the cheeks and kissed him on the forehead when he showed her the new delivery of romance books. At one point, Draco swore he saw tears in her eyes as he let her delve into the new books.

Then entered Mr. Roth. Mr. Roth was a man he had only met twice in the whole time Draco had been working at the library. He was a man of few words; happy to keep to himself and his demeanour reminded Draco too much of his own grandfather. A man he had only met a handful of times yet knew he was happy to never meet again.

Mr. Roth nodded at Draco in greeting before making his own way to the military history section, browsing the titles silently and happily. Draco had left him too it; too nervous of Mr. Roth’s reaction should he be asked for any help.

For a time, it was those two. The both of them milling about the library, adding more books to their pile to be read.

However, they are soon joined by Madge herself. She smiles widely as she enters the library; rushing over to Draco to sing his praises for how well the whole place looks. Draco blushes something silly at her words; he hadn’t heard much praise through his life, had needed to for the perfect mould and was disciplined when didn’t. For Madge to praise Draco over the care he takes with the library, it isn’t something he’s likely to forget anytime soon.

Madge leaves Draco after that. She dawdles through the shelves, knowing the exact layout like the back of her hand. She spies Mrs. Taylor by the romances and Mr. Roth by the history section, but she herself, heads towards the classics. Having read them all multiple times, Madge was always happy to revisit her favourites whether it be Pemberley, Wuthering Heights, or Thornfield Hall.

All the while, Draco couldn’t help but hope that you would walk in through the door. He had met you once, spoken to you once but he longed to see you again. Twice now he had seen you walking past the library; earphones in and nodding your head to whatever song you were listening to. He had raised his hand both times, waving to you. You waved back, smiling gently to him.

He didn’t want to tempt fate; didn’t want to harbour feelings for someone he had only met once, but he couldn’t ignore the nagging feeling deep within his gut that you were going to mean something to him one day.

If only you would enter the library.

----

It takes another week.

It’s another week of wondering and wishing. It’s another week of nightmares and early starts.

At this point, Draco has been living in this sleepy Yorkshire village for a year. He celebrated by working late at the library; organising new stock and creating a new display depicting the best reads of the month as voted for by the residents of the village. He had unashamedly added Mrs. Taylor’s newest favourite book at the top; that alone had earned him a wet kiss on the cheek.

You enter the library on a slightly warmer day in March. The month had begun frigid and frosty, but now closer to the middle, it seems that spring had finally taken its hold of the village.

You enter with yet another sheepish smile on your face, an apology already falling from your lips as you hand Draco the late book. “I know it’s late,” You ramble, “But I really haven’t had the time to sleep never mind drop it off considering the commute to work and back and the weather.”

Draco stops you by raising his hand, “It’s okay. You don’t need to explain yourself to me.”

You chew on your bottom lip, “Are you sure? I really am sorry.”

“It’s fine. You don’t need to pay the late fee either.”

“What?” You ask; hand already reaching for your purse.

“You don’t need to pay the late fee.”

“Why?”

Draco sighs, “Can I be honest with you even if it’s only our second time talking to each other?”

You nod wordlessly; nerves beginning to settle in your stomach in response to whatever could come out of his mouth.

“You look like you have a lot going on right now. You mentioned the commute to work and back, but you also look shattered, so I get it. I get what you mean when you haven’t had the time.”

You blink, the familiar burn of tears starting at the back of your throat. “You get it?”

Draco nods, “I get it. I know what it feels like to be so tired you feel like doing nothing else. I don’t know why you’re so tired, and you don’t have to tell me, but if you need to talk, I’m here.”

He’s stretching his neck out. It’s only the second time he’s spoken to you, but he doesn’t like the way the shadows under your eyes are looking. They seem to suck any happiness out of your face, leaving you almost gaunt looking.

“Can I repay you?” You ask suddenly; voice determined.

“What? Why? How?” Draco asks in a barrage of questions. He doesn’t need repayment; he would never ask for such a thing in the first place.

“You’ve shown me kindness. Can I repay that?” You state; voice clear as it rings out across the empty library.

“How?” He repeats; still unsure as to just how you would repay his kindness.

You glance at the clock; it had barely past ten am. You smile at Draco, “Would you like a late breakfast?”

It takes him less than ten seconds to answer; of course he would join you for a late breakfast. Draco grabs his coat; scrawling a sign for the door stating that he would be back in less than an hour, but truthfully, he didn’t think anyone would be in today.

----

Breakfasts consists of a full English rounded off with a pot of Yorkshire Tea. You argue stubbornly over brands of tea; yourself choosing Yorkshire as Draco opts for another brand.

Conversation never stops flowing; any silence is filled with a question or a story that always seems to lead to laughter either from Draco or yourself. Draco sits through the whole breakfast with a smile; he hadn’t felt this good in a long time. He had spent such a long while dealing with the guilt he harboured for surviving a war he was on the wrong side of.

It’s over this breakfast that he realises he needs to tell you. He needs to explain to you who he is and why he is here. Draco could talk to you all day long about tales from his education and his childhood, but they would all continue to be half-truths if he never told you about the magic that flowed through his veins and made him capable of incredible things.

Walking back to the library after breakfast, he resolves to tell you if he sees you again. You hadn’t taken out another book so he doubted he would. However, the small voice in the back of his head and also resided in his heart hoped that you would so he could confess.

-----

Draco does see you again. You start to frequent the library; wandering the aisles in search of your next read but also to spend time with Draco. You would be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t find him fascinating and handsome, but he had an air of mystery around him that you were desperate to get to the bottom to.

A friendship forms. The both of you finding yourselves better matched for each other than anyone else; becoming close and confiding in each other when things seem darkest. You confide in him your deepest secrets, explaining the nightmares that hide behind the dark circles under your eyes. Draco confesses much of the same, but his desire to tell you about the magic he can wield remains on the tip of his tongue, turning more bitter the longer he waits to tell you about himself.

He tells himself excuse after excuse: it’s too soon, it would scare you off, he isn’t ready. In actuality, he is ready, and more than enough time has passed for the relationship to be so firmly cemented that it wouldn’t scare you off.

Yet he panics, and it keeps him up more often than his nightmares. How does he tell the one he’s closest to that he can form light with a whisper of a single word? That he can brew potions to not only heal but to incapacitate?

He hasn’t neglected his magic whilst he’s been in Yorkshire; he’s used it well enough. To dry himself off if caught in the rain, to send books back to their shelves if he’s comfy in his seat. However, he has always been wary of his talents around you, too worried about being caught out and destroying the one positive friendship he has had since he was fifteen years old.

Draco needs to tell you. He knows he does; he’s let his feelings get in the way of confessing who he really is and what he can do. His feelings for you hadn’t crept up on him; he had constantly been aware of his changing emotions. As the friendship progressed, he found himself wanting to reach out and take your hand randomly or wanted to tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear and then stroke your cheek. These hadn’t been the ponderings of someone who held platonic feelings; they were entirely romantic, and Draco wanted nothing more than to pursue that option with you, but he didn’t know how you would feel after he confessed his magic.

Truthfully, he didn’t want to tell you because he didn’t want to see the fear and disgust in your eyes as he had so often seen reflected in the eyes of witches and wizards around him. To see that in your eyes, it wasn’t something Draco could ever be prepared for.

How long could it last though? How long would he have with you before you sniff out the lie and the friendship falls apart from there?

Draco ponders these questions as he tidies up the library; new books on shelves along with freshly returned ones. The two questions float in his mind as the late afternoon turns into the evening and Draco readies himself for closing.

He startles slightly as you enter the library. You look lovely this evening, and everything Draco wants to tell you sits perched on his lips, waiting to be screamed into existence.

“Are you ready?” You ask, leaning forward on the desk.

“Ready? For what?” Draco questions, confusion lacing his tone.

You frown, “We’re eating at your place tonight? You told me to meet you here and we’d walk there together?”

Draco’s eyes widen as he suddenly remembers the promise he made you last week; to cook for you one evening so you could eat something other than pasta and noodles. “Of course I remember,” He covers, laughing nervously, “I was just messing with you.”

Your frown deepens, “If you don’t want to do this Dray, it’s okay, we can reschedule or something.”

Draco shakes his head rapidly from side to side. “No!” He all but shouts, “Let me grab my coat and my keys and we can go.”

You laugh; feeling the awkwardness that had quickly settled between you, “Are you okay, Draco?”

Draco nods: gulping as he herds you out of the door so he can lock up. “I’m fine, I just have something important to tell you tonight.”

“Tonight?”

He nods once more; the words stuck in his throat. The decision had been made; he would tell you tonight and then deal with the consequences afterwards.

The walk to his home is silent; nerves settling in both your stomachs as minds run into overdrive over what could be said tonight. Draco – terrified for your reaction. You – terrified for what he has to say, wondering nervously whether your feelings for the blonde had been too obvious from the beginning and he was going to put an end to your friendship.

It didn’t matter how often you visited his home; it would always leave you breathless at the sight of it. It had been a home you had admired for years, knowing the family that had lived there before Draco. They had moved to the next village over, wanting to downsize after their children had left home.

The large cottage had always been gorgeous but seeing Draco in a domestic element added more appeal to you. He takes your coat from you, hanging it up before doing the same, toeing off his shoes as he does so.

You expect him to lead you to the kitchen where you had watched him cook so many times before. An expert chef as demanded by his mother, you loved to watch Draco cook and bake. He could create marvellously tasty dishes from just a handful of ingredient – a talent you wished you possessed.

However, he doesn��t lead you to the kitchen, he leads you into the living room where he switches on all the lamps in the room without touching a single switch.

“How did you do that?” You demand, wonder and curiosity making your tone sharper than you intended.

“This is where I need to you to not lose your mind,” Draco whispers, his hand reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a long stick.

“Why do you have a stick, Draco?”

“It’s not a stick. It’s my wand. Hawthorn with a unicorn hair centre.”

You frown, puzzled, “A wand? As in a magician’s wand?”

Draco nods, “If you need to sit down after I tell you, I understand.”

“Tell me what?”

“I’m a wizard,” He states bluntly, no room for argument.

You laugh; it’s breathless from confusion, “I don’t get what you mean.”

“I’m a wizard. I have magic. I can turn on the lights in any room without saying a word or touching a switch, I can brew potions that heal injuries, I can fly a broomstick and I’m pretty good at it too.”

“So you’re a wizard and you can do magic?”

Draco nods, “Would you like me to show you?”

You nod wildly; the action sending your hair flying into your face. You push it away, not wanting to miss a moment of this.

Draco sends you a bashful smile as he holds his wand out, pointing it at a lone book on the coffee table beside the couch. In a clear voice, he calls, “Accio!”

In a single instant, the book flies across the room and lands in his outstretched hand. He holds the book up to you as evidence. Your mouth drops open; in shock at what you have just witnessed. Draco represses a laugh at the look on your face, knowing how hard it must be to comprehend all of what has been unloaded on you.

“Then why are you here? In Yorkshire of all places?” You ask, even more curious for his life in Yorkshire.

Draco sighs, “There was a war. I found myself on the wrong side and I saw too many people I know die. In the aftermath, when everyone was healing and starting to live their lives again, I couldn’t move on. I left home so I could start to heal and find myself, find who I want to be.”

“And have you now?” You ask; hope shining in every word.

Draco nods slowly, “I think I have. I think I’ve started to heal at last.”

“I thought you wanted to end our friendship,” You confess, your voice no higher than a whisper.

Draco steps closer to you; dropping the book and taking your hands in his. “Never,” He promises, then he takes a deep breath, “If anything I want more.”

“What?” You gasp.

Draco bites his lip, feeling the all too familiar blush creep its way up his neck. “I want more,” He repeats.

He waits for your response, desperate to know what you think about everything else he has just unloaded on you. You open and close your mouth a few times; words failing you. Draco starts to panic, starts to form the words to take pressure off you when you step forward and kiss him.

It starts as a gentle brush of lips, but then the pressure becomes firmer, and Draco starts to respond. He gathers you in his arms, tugging you tight against him as his mouth memorises yours and every whimper that leaves it.

Your lips part under his and Draco takes every opportunity to deepen the kiss; relishing every second of the kiss and the way you feel pressed up against him. Your hands find themselves in his hair; carding through the blonde locks before tugging gently, smiling against his mouth at the groan the action elicits from the back of his throat. His hands start to wander; memorising the expanse of your body as he dips you slightly, wanting nothing more than to lay you out on the floor where you stand.

He doesn’t. Instead, Draco breaks the kiss. Pulling away with one, two, three pecks to your lips, grinning widely when you chase him for more. “You don’t care that I have magic?” Draco asks, gasping from the kiss.

You shake your head; tears shining with happy tears, “I couldn’t care less. I thought you were going to end our friendship because you figured out my feelings for you.”

Draco reaches up; tucks a piece of hair behind your ear, “Never, darling.”

You feel your face flush at the use of your new pet name. Draco choosing then and there to refer to you only as ‘darling’ if your response what to be that every time.

He dips his head once more; kissing you for all that he is worth. Pouring every ounce of emotion he has in his body into this kiss; hands grip you tightly as your hands start to wander, fiddling with the hem of his shirt and skirting the flat plains of his stomach.

“One condition,” Draco whispers against your mouth.

“Name it,” You whisper, tugging on his bottom lip with your teeth.

He groans; low and throaty as he kisses you deeply, barely remembering to break the kiss so he can mutter, “No more late returns.”

The laugh that leaves your body has you shaking in Draco’s arms. He swallows your laughter with his mouth; silencing you effectively as he leads you back to the couch where he politely persuades you into no more late returns.

********

General (HP) taglist: @chaotic-fae-queen​ @theweasleysredhair​ @harrypotter289​ @kalimagik​ @heloisedaphnebrightmore​ @nebulablakemurphy​ @figlia--della--luna​ @idont-knowrn​ @birdie-writes​ @big-galaxy-chaos​ @black-lake-confessions​ @annasofiaearlobe​ @imboredandneedalife​ @levylovegood​ @mytreec​ @haphazardhufflepuff​ @teheharrypotter​ @chaoticgirl04​ @accio-rogers​ @starlightweasley​ @dreaming-about-fanfictions​ @lestersglitterglue​ @msmimimerton​ @obx-beach​ @izzytheninja​ @slytherinprincess03​ @bbeauttyybbx​ @breadqueen95​ @acciotwinz​ @kashishwrites​ @slytherinsunrise​ @kylosleftbuttcheek​ @remmyswritings​ @xfirstfemale-marauderx​ @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon​ @ria-rests-here​ @superbturtlemakerathlete​ @inglourious-imagines​ @ithilwen-lionheart​ @now-its-time-for-a-breakdown​ @ilovejjmaybank​

Draco Malfoy taglist: @the--queen-of-hell @minty-malfoy @obxmxybxnk @obx-beach @fallinallinmendes @ochrythum @gryffindors-weasley @kashishwrites @justmesadgirl @sycathorn-slush @dracomalfoyswifey @reaganwonders @lahoete @beiahadid @ravenclawbitch426 @detroitobsessed

#draco malfoy x reader #draco x reader #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy imagines #Draco Malfoy

[repetitionsings]

Sorting Cabin Pressure

I return! Briefly, because tumblr still hates me, and yet triumphant, because I’ve spent the last week re-listening to Cabin Pressure, and I want to talk about sorting the MJN crew. So let’s do some Sorting Hat Chats!

As usual, my view on these characters may not be yours, and if you have different thoughts, I’d love to hear them. :D Discussion spans the entire 27 episodes, so let’s say spoilers just to be safe.

Martin

Despite probably having the biggest, best-defined character arc, I'm finding Martin the main character I'm least set on. 

Secondary-wise, I'd say he's definitely a built secondary; very little of Martin's improvisations seem to come comfortable to him. His insistence on doing things right and by-the-book feels fairly Badger, but his ability to be lured into shortcuts and moments of unprofessional behavior feels to me like a Bird who thinks that Badger hard word and toil is the best option. It also seems to fit with the way he becomes calm and confident once something works out for him, and then immediately loses it once things go wrong and he feels unprepared again. The few episodes where he really gets to be confident and succeed particularly feel Bird-y to me: relying on knowledge in Johannesburg especially stand out.

(That said, Badger also seems to ring consistently with the way he handles a lot of things -- his dedication to his job, his hard work, even the way half the time he does get confident, it's either because Douglas isn't there to bring him down, or he seems to be pretending to be him.)

Primary-wise, though, that's where I get tripped up. Not a Snake, I think; even his hesitancy to leave MJN is half about his own goals and issues, not fully founded in caring about others. Badger doesn't quite seem right either -- "being loyal and true to things or people that exist is more important than sticking to grander but more abstract ideals or concepts" does not sound like Martin at all. My first thought was Lion, just one that's still struggling to be as decisive as they usually are -- despite his hesitancy, and his instincts being 'follow the rules written by others', a lot of the Lion stuff seems to apply to him. "They are willing to sacrifice their safety, social harmony, and a certain amount of logic to do what they feel is right." "There is right and there is wrong. Things are black and white. Shades of gray are places where people go to play games, twist the truth, and to be cowards."

But... he does bend the rules, or sit back and let Douglas do so. If nobody who makes him feel like he has to put on the act is there -- see Newcastle and Qikiqtarjuaq -- he'll bend them pretty far. Trying to drop candy on a kids' birthday party (Johannesburg) and lying to a passenger about where they're flying (Timbuktu) levels of far.

So who's around seems to be a big part of it, which maybe could point back in a loyalist direction. I think in the end, though, I'm going to throw up my hands and say, maybe a Bird whose system is in progress from something fairly immature and black-and-white to something more complicated? Martin's devotion to his passion and his job above all else feels pretty Idealist to me, and this seems a little more fitting than him being an extremely malleable Lion.

Douglas

Douglas "at any given moment I never have fewer than seven ulterior motives" Richardson? Douglas "did something clever and now everything's fine" Richardson? Douglas "pretending very hard not to care about anything, actually cares very deeply, but only about specific things and specific people" Richardson? Is there even any point to considering an answer besides double Snake here? Douglas might as well be the model of it. Trickery is his first language. He schemes, charms, adapts, and lucks out in order to achieve anything in his sights, whether that's as small as a relief from boredom or as big as saving the day.

Motivation is trickier -- but it becomes clearer and clearer as time goes on how far Douglas is willing to go to save MJN, and outside his own desires to be the captain again, that seems like the biggest thing that ever drives him. Combine that with his hedonism, and the way he's happy to lie, cheat, and steal to accomplish most other things with no notable guilt or shame, I don't even see hints of a model or structure built over it; the things that matter to him are his own reputation and status (and even that in very specific, particular ways), and saving GERTI and her crew.

(That said, the more I think about it, I do think you could make a solid argument for Douglas as a rapid-fire Bird Secondary. Mostly built around Zurich -- his confession that his confidence started, not just as a mask, but wholesale imitating somebody else. There's also this excerpt from Finnemore's Farewell Bear Facts: "Douglas prefers to hang back, let other people make mistakes, work out the 'something clever' he's going to do in secret, and then present it with a flourish." While that could be Snake-y, I could see it as a Bird's planning working for someone whose very invested in his own reputation. That said, I still think Double Snake seems the most applicable overall.)

Carolyn

Carolyn's drives are a kind of mirror to Douglas', which is interesting to reflect back on. The two things she cares most about are how she's seen, and -- even if she sometimes shows it in her own strange way -- Arthur. Then Douglas and Martin start to rank in there over time, and eventually so does Herc. (Martin moreso than Douglas -- speculation, but I think it's probably because everyone knows Douglas will take care of himself first, so he doesn't need to be worried about so much.) Money matters to her of course, but several times it comes down to show that if money was the most important thing, she'd probably have given up GERTI a long time ago. We get it set out plainly as early as Douz: "Because I am the Chief Executive Officer of MJN Air. It’s a good thing to be. It’s better than... a little old lady."

I think it's possible to read Carolyn as an extremely burned Badger; there's something in how she reacts to her sister that makes me think I can see it. But in general, I'm more inclined to say Snake Primary. One that isn't fully burned -- Arthur's never really out of her circle, I think -- but does have a hell of a time opening up her circle to new people by the time of the series. Just look at the trial Herc goes through before he gets there.

Lion Secondary, I think. She's the immovable object to Douglas' unstoppable force, and Martin is the thing unfortunately trapped between them at times. She's stubborn and honest, hates playing at being nicer than she is and only does it when absolutely necessary, and cares about her rules being followed but not the rules in general so much. She's whip-smart, but she doesn't actually tend to be tricky or slippery in the same way as Douglas -- and in fact, the one time we really see her try to be actively tricky, in Timbuktu, she loses. She's more likely to ignore opposition or tell someone else to solve it, and even when she pulls something, it's usually pretty straight-forward. (For example, calling Hester's fans in Cremona -- it's an underhanded move against someone who's earned her ire, but not really a complicated scheme.)

Arthur 

I think Arthur shares his mother's Lion Secondary. He's a force in his own right as much as she is, even if he's more of a tornado to her steel barrier. He's honest to a fault and very much always himself, no matter what the situation, or how much better it might be to try and do something else.

As Primary goes, it's hard to tell if this is just Arthur's optimism shining against everyone else, but my first instinct is Badger. He wants to be helpful, oftentimes too much so, and he likes them so much it tends to be notable when he doesn't like somebody. His focus tends to be the people in front of him at the time, but that does extend to include other people when they're there -- it's not just the crew at all times. While I think it's possible to see him in other lights, Badger seems to make the most sense and work with what we see of his wants through the series.

Herc 

While most of the other minor or reoccurring characters don't show up enough for me to have even an idea, I think we do get enough of Herc to narrow it down some, if not make a completely secure conclusion.

My first instinct is that he's yet another Snake Primary in the mix. It works with his role as a foil for Douglas, and with his willingness to give up his position to be with Carolyn by the end of the series. (That said, I feel like his speech on why he's a vegetarian in Ottery St. Mary could point towards Bird Primary as well, and would make sense with everything we see of him.)

He seems straightforward in a way that doesn't line up with a Snake Secondary to me -- that could be a matter of the situations we see him in, but I still just don't see it in his conversations with Carolyn. I'd say maybe a Lion Secondary, in the way the two of them clash and he stands his ground. Bird Secondary also makes sense, but admittedly I'm having trouble pointing to anything specific that made me think so; there's just something in the way his manner bounces off the others, and in the way he seems to almost take on and off All-Knowing Air Captain mode.

In conclusion --

Martin: Double Bird with a Badger Secondary model Douglas: Double Snake Carolyn: Snake Primary/Lion Secondary Arthur: Badger Primary/Lion Secondary Herc: tentatively Snake Primary/Lion or Bird Secondary

or, as they say in Limerick... But for Arthur, they're all quite constructed With the Snakes bickering interrupted By a worrying Bird From the Captain's chair heard Til the newest of Snakes is inducted

Carolyn's Lion is strong and won't coddle Martin's Bird, leaning against his model Or the Lion she raised By the Snake she's unfazed And thank you all, for reading my twaddle

#sortinghatchats #sorting hat chats #cabin pressure #Sorting Things Out #m: cabin pressure #til binary systems run

[skylarmoon71]

Leonardo- Oneshot

"Begin."

At the indication of Splinter's voice, you tightened your hand on the wooden sword, charging at Leo. He braced, taking the first hit. His ability to block just made you fight more. Donnie, Mikey and Raph were at the side watching. When you asked to be trained the same way they were, Splinter was a bit skeptical.

They were mutants, there was a certain amount of training he knew they could handle. They were always exceeding his expectations with their progress. But you were a little more fragile. At the beginning you could barely even hold a sword correctly. 

Despite that he could see your determination. Where you lacked in skill, you made up for it with hard work. Now you were as equipped for battle as anyone of his boys. He was so proud at how much you improved over the months. From the side it must have looked like Leo wasn't putting much effort, but Splinter knew it was taking some energy to avoid getting hit. He was mostly blocking. You were more adept in offense, whereas Leo was defense. It's what made the both of you great partners.

You swung and dodged each and every attack he delivered. Leo smirked when you did a flip to avoid a very close blow he struck, spinning around you even managed to knock the stick right out of his arms, placing your own at his neck. He froze with his hands raised.

"Well done (Y/N). '' You grinned, dropping your weapon and jumping around as you high fived Mikey. "Heck yeah! Who beat Leo, I beat Leo! I said who beat Leo!"

"You beat Leo!" Mikey joined in your little singing fest and Leo just chuckled, bending to pick up both sticks.

"Don't go getting a big head, I was going easy on you."

You scoffed. "Like if you were struggling to keep up Leo-sensei~" you teased. He stammered at your words, shuffling back and almost dropping the sticks in his hands. You giggled. You had no idea why but whenever you called him Sensei he always got embarrassed.

"You've gotten quite good at this. I must say your dedication is quite inspiring. " You bowed. "Thank you Master Splinter. I'm forever grateful." They were all aware of your need for self defense. You were one of the more sadder cases they dealt with. Some men had gang up on you while you were walking from your late night job. When they found you, you were battered and bruised. You never thought you would ever recover.

Leo and the others found the men responsible and gave them a severe beating of course. After thanking them, you decided you were done being a victim. You were going to fight back. So you trained hard for months. You never had to worry about being scared again, you even opened your own little dojo. Teaching self defense to other victims, and even little kids. That horrible night provided something wonderful. You had purpose, and a great set of new friends.

"So Leo let's talk business. " Mikey's words made you smile, a little confused on what he was referring too. Splinter, already used to his son's antics left quietly. "What are you guys talking about?" you said moving to grab a towel and your bottle water. You draped the cloth around your neck, sipping from your bottle. Leo was looking a bit nervous now. "Ya can't back out." Raph urged.

"Yeah you promised." Donnie stated. They all seem to know but you. You pulled back the bottle, raising a brow.

"Come on don't leave me out of the loop. I wanna know?" When Leo walked over to you, your head titled. He cleared his throat.

"(Y/N), would you like to go on a date with me?"

You blushed, not sure if you were hearing right.

"E-Excuse me?"

Leo scratched his neck, flustered. "The guys they made me promise that if you won I'd finally own up and..ask you out.." he mumbled the last part. From the back you could see the culprits sneaking out. Mikey was showing you a thumbs up mouthing a "I got you girl."

You couldn't believe it. He was asking you out. Like actually doing it. Yes, it was because of a dare, but from what he said it was more a dare of courage, because apparently he'd been wanting to do it for a while.

"Listen, they're gone. I can just tell them you said yes. You don't actually have to go out with me."

"I'd love to go on a date with you Leonardo." he paused, blinking. "Are you sure?" Leo wasn't the self conscious type. It wasn't because he thought he didn't have a chance, or even because he was a mutant. He knew the type of person you were, and he was positive that things like that weren't what you cared about. His main concern was your healing process. He still remembered that day when they found you.

He hadn't even known you back then, yet he wanted to protect you from everything. The pain and hurt you would experience as you got through your trauma. That was the main reason he kept visiting. It's how the both of you officially met. He was always checking up on you in the hospital. He kept telling himself it was crazy. You were a complete stranger. But he couldn't stop. Slowly but surely you started to notice things, then you noticed him. Now, those days seemed so far away. From strangers, to friends. Maybe now something more?

He took in the way you shifted on your feet, that adorable little shuffle whenever you were caught off guard. Then there was the little hair gesture. You would twist and twirl a lock of your hair when you got nervous.

"I-I mean we kind of have to now you know. You did make a deal. And a ninja's word is solid." It's cute, the way you were trying to justify it all. Leo couldn't stop the smile on his face.

"You're right, I wouldn't be much of a leader if I couldn't stay true to my word."

"Mhmm." he could see the way your eyes light up in agreement.

"So is tomorrow night at nine okay for you, we'll be patrolling at seven."

"It's great Leo." Excited, you reach down to grab your duffle bag, slinging it over your shoulder.

"I can't wait!" you weren't even trying to hide your happiness. You turned practically skipping out of the room. Raph and the others peeked from behind the wall.

"See, that wasn't so hard now was it." Mikey spoke. Leo's eyes were still watching in the direction you left.

"Leo, earth to Leo!" Mikey was waving his hand in front of him with no response.

"Guys I think we killed him!"

Raph just smacked Leo at the back of his head. He stumbled, looking back with a pissed expression.

"See, he aint dead." They all knew Raph would look for any opportunity to hit Leo.

~~~~

You were running from room to room. Cleaning, fluffing, just pretty much checking it all over to make sure it was spotless.

After you were done, you searched for a dress. Something that said cute, but not too much. Not trying too hard, just trying a little sort of feel. Leo would get here at nine, so you still had time. You rushed into the shower. All you needed was a nice shower and some decent make up application after. You left your apartment window open just in case you lost track of time. You didn't want him waiting outside long.

You weren't in the shower for too long. After a relaxing ten minutes, you dried yourself off and looked for your sexiest pair of underwear. "Just in case." you assured yourself. Sifting through your closet you found a little blue spaghetti dress. 

"Perfect!" Slipping it on, you moved to your bedroom to apply makeup. It wasn't much, just some mascara and a little touch of lip gloss. Since you weren't exactly going out. You settled for a pair of flats. Smoothing out the dress,you jumped when you heard the doorbell ring. " Crap! Pizza right." taking some cash from your purse you went for the door. Opening it, the delivery man handed you the two boxes. You took it, giving him the money. "Thank you." you said politely, closing the door as he left.

Placing the pizza on the table in your living room, you sat on the couch, waiting. It was a bit nerve wrecking. The little tap on your window made you stand, and you brushed your hair over your shoulder heading for the kitchen. Leo was on the fire escape, and when he saw you he slipped inside, closing the window behind him. You smiled, even though you left it open he still knocked.

"Hey. " you greeted. He raised his head to do the same, but stopped when he took in your attire.

"(Y/N)...you look beautiful." He was so used to seeing you in yoga pants and t-shirts.

"Thank you. "

"Mission success!" Seems like the dress did its job. "Come on you must be starving after your patrol let's eat." Leo followed you to the living room, his eyes brightening when his nostrils caught the scent of pizza. You couldn't stop your giggles when he was right beside you in seconds. You opened the box, taking a plate and giving him two slices. 

He took it gratefully, taking a seat on the couch. You did the same when you got your own slice. "So how was patrol, catch any bad guys?" you bit into the slice and Leo nods, swallowing his piece. "It was fine, Mikey got a little excited when we took down some guys that were trying to rob a convenience. I felt bad. It was just a couple of kids. "

"Aww, did you guys turn them in." He shakes his head. "We didn't. Raph scared the crap outta them. I don't think they'll be robbing anymore stores in the future. " you laugh at that. "I could only imagine, poor kids. "

Leo has already finished his pizza, and as the night progresses the both of you fall into easy conversation. You fill him in on how your business is going. Your favorite part of the day was probably your job. He knew that for certain. He's still a bit taken by you. Maybe it's the cute dress, or the way he feels like he can tell you just about anything. Possibly the way your lips are still glimmering with gloss, despite the slices of pizza you've already eaten. He can't pull his gaze away.

"Leo?"

He's apparently drifted off. "Yes, sorry about that, what did you say?"

"Do you want another drink?" you ask standing and heading for the fridge. He's only had one sprite, and you're feeling a bit thirsty, so you wonder if maybe he is too. "Oh, no I'm okay thanks." So you're going to get yourself a glass of water. Sipping the drink, you let out a soft sigh. The night was really going better than you expected. At the beginning you thought it would be a bit awkward. It wasn't a secret you found Leo attractive. In every sense of the word. His personality, dedication, damn even his body was breathtaking to you. It was easy for you to communicate when it was all the boys, but with just the both of you it was different. And you were glad you could still talk with him casually.

When you walked back into the living room you almost crashed into him. He grabbed you by the shoulders apologizing. "(Y/N), I'm sorry I have to go. Donnie caught some interference on one of the cameras. " you nod in understanding. "That's okay Leo." you were grateful for the time you did get to spend with him. You knew there was probably someone who needed him more than you right now. His hands were still holding you gently. 

"I had a really good time Leo.." He smiles.

"I did too." For a moment you don't know what to do. The both of you just stand there, looking at each other. His eyes are possibly the bluest you've ever seen. You could get lost in them forever. "(Y/N)...is it okay if I.." his eyes move to your lips for a split second. You swallow.

"Yeah.." you breathe. His hands are still resting gently on your shoulders. He leans down to meet your lips and you're a bit nervous. It's been so long since you've been on a date, even longer since you've kissed someone. But this isn't just anyone, it's Leo.

"Leo.."

His lips meet your own, and all you could think is why the hell did it take you this long. Your arm reaches up a bit hesitant, and you shift, taking a step forward to lean into him. Leo's hands have changed position. One on your waist, the other on the small of your back. He urges you in, closer to him, and you deepen the kiss. His arms have now encased your body, and you don't ever want to pull away. Not for anything.

The kisses are slow, and sensual. He wants to taste all he can, and when your tongue slips pass begging for entrance. He inhales, giving in. When his mouth opens and your tongues touch, you can feel the way your pulse gives an appreciative thump. Leo moans, and it's music to your ears. You've never heard such a sound leave him. It's amazing what that simple thing does to your body. You're on your toes, refusing to part. You have to though. You're beginning to run out of oxygen. Pulling back slowly, your eyes are still closed, and you lick your lips. You can still taste him. When you open your eyes, he's staring at you. His pupils are dilated, and you almost want to lean back in and completely ravish him. But he has to go. More pressing matters.

"You...should probably get going." you pant out. Leo needs to compose himself. How can he even think of fighting now when you've clouded his mind with the feel of your lips. He somehow manages to release you with a soft smile. "I should." he agrees. He gives your lips one last peck, and you grin.

"Dinner is on me next time."

"Sure Leo." You can't wait for your next date, because if it's half as good as this one, then you might as well just marry Leo right now.

"See you later Leo."

"Bye (Y/N).'' He's heading for the kitchen, but almost trips because he doesn't want to look away. You giggle when he catches himself, making a very ungraceful exit.

"It was definitely the dress."

You have absolutely no doubt.

#leonardo #michelangelo #raphael #mentions of assault tw #love #protection #family #care #training #tmnt leonardo #leo x reader #dates #cuteness #teens #splinter #brothers #newyork #pizza #kiss #leo is bae

[jonthethinker]

After a long day of truly cursed thoughts, I’ve come to the determination that the Cerberus Assembly can act as a sort of Exandrian analog of our world’s Silicon Valley, and I hate it. I hate hate hate it.

The more I think about it, the more it just sort of melds into my mind as fact. I can’t escape it. This is where I live now.

You’ve got this collection of self-proclaimed super geniuses, unbounded by modern social mores and determined to invent a new sort of ethics, with an intent on shaping history and sagely guiding the world into a better future. This is despite the fact that most of the ideas they have inevitably end up making the world worse, and the only thing “new” that they really bring into the world is a bunch of actually very old ideas coated in fresh circuitry/magic.

But let’s dig a little deeper and start getting specific.

They both have these images of fiercely independent, creative bodies desperate to remain free from government control, and sometimes even as a check on that very government. The heads of the Cerberus Assembly outright say their intent is to act as a check on the Crown, and are known to have many secrets the Crown is, to their knowledge, totally unaware of.

Tech companies, particularly in America, have this outward facing very libertarian outlook on things, saying they don’t wish to interfere in the very important process of democracy and free speech, while simultaneously feeling it is their responsibility to fact check those in power and hold them to account, with their “serious vetting” of political ads and the like on their platforms. They also lobby heavily against any and all regulation of their various products and services, preferring to let the “invisible hand” of the market provide the service of keeping them in check, much as the Cerberus Assembly prefers to handle its own problems internally.

But when you really dig into the details this is all bullshit. The Cerberus Assembly, for all intents and purposes, IS the Empire. They run the secret police, for goodness sake. The two are so interconnected, and the Assembly as an institution is so dependent on the infrastructure and manpower, and of course money (because the fancy clothes, giant towers, and expensive sets of material components don’t pay for themselves) of the Empire to accomplish its goals, it can’t serve as a real check on Imperial forces possibly “overstepping”, and it also has no material interest in doing so; the more power and control the Empire has, the more power and control the Assembly has; the less freedom the citizens have due to authoritarian “safety” measures implemented by the Crown, the safer the Assembly itself becomes to pursue it’s morally dubious work and experimentation.

The same goes with Silicon Valley and the various tech companies that fall under its ethos. They will expound continually on the necessary freedom from government control they must have to truly change the world in the ways they think are best, but the primary source of money for most of these companies are governments. They either primarily contract with governments for most of their actual profits or to use its already established infrastructure, as is the case with Amazon, or depend heavily on publicly funded research for their innovations, which is everyone from Apple to Google to Microsoft and dozens and dozens of smaller companies besides. They then even get to patent these publicly funded innovations and hold a monopolized stranglehold on their use. This is not even to mention the starter capital necessary to form many of these companies in the first place itself was provided by governments, with the rather, shall we say “morally questionable” Kingdom of Saudi Arabia being among the top contributors to such start ups.

Even when either of these groups claim to be self-made, it’s all bullshit. So many of our famous tech overlords that supposedly built themselves from nothing started at the upper reaches of society, with more than enough capital and connections to insure they were never at any real risk of failing in the first place. Most even went to the same elite institutions of learning that provide the vast majority of the political leadership of the United States, institutions they had access to due to their wealth and familial connections, not their brains. Elon Musk’s family owned an emerald mine in Zambia for God’s sake, one his family would have never owned without the British Empire being a thing.

The same can be said for the Assembly. The upper classes of the Dwendalian Empire are lousy with mages and magic users. If they don’t have a place to climb among the nobility, they work for the Assembly, and hope to climb there. It shouldn’t surprise anyone that the only poorer mage recruits we know anything real about all were sucked up into the service of the Scourgers, one of the few arms of the Assembly known to regularly interact with societies lower reaches and not so positively at that, and had their familial identities obliterated in the process. Both of these groups are of the upper reaches of society and serve the upper reaches of society, and we should never think anything less.

And this brings us to the ideological framework both of these groups think with. They are both full to the brim with people who are individualists to the extreme. They all believe they are singular actors in the great tapestry of history, who got where they are by hard work and dedication, and anyone who isn’t there just didn’t do enough. The folks living in the tent city outside Zadash? lazy layabouts who simply have not applied their mind to be something greater, or perhaps their veins are just full of bad blood. Poor former factory workers in Detroit whose jobs have been moved to places where labor laws are weaker and wages are lower? If they’d only taken their education more seriously, they could be where I am! Or maybe they just never tried to be an Uber driver or delivering for Grubhub, because that’s how you really pull yourself out of poverty.

Meanwhile, most of the groups consist of people who have never once known real adversity and certainly not the hardship of poverty nor the lack of social and political power that position entails. They are blinded to the reality of most people in the world outside their rather small one, and thus have no understanding of the material hardship that most people experience during their everyday life.

You see this most clearer in the manner in which they try to solve what they see as societies great problems, with no clear thought put into the consequences of these particular solutions. In our world, this is particularly obvious. Uber is painted as an innovative means of transportation on a budget, when in reality it’s just a fleet of untrained, underpaid, non-unionized taxi drivers using their own personal vehicles at their own expense. Elon Musk is seen as this super genius when his solution to LA traffic wasn’t a more robust public transportation system or slowly reconstructing the city to be more pedestrian friendly, but instead to build a massive network of single car elevators under the city to zip cars to key hot spots faster in a manner people less anxious than me would still call risky at best. I mean most of these people think the key to ending poverty is teaching people to code or giving them STEM education, even when in a capitalist economy the only thing a sudden flooding of new coders and STEM educated folks would insure is that the jobs that require those skills will see a sudden massive drop in pay and benefits as the pool of prospective employees becomes over-saturated and individual workers no longer have any bargaining power to protect their once rare jobs. You already see this in animation and video game design, and you’ll certainly see it elsewhere.

For the Assembly, despite being praised as the brightest arcane minds of Wildmount, seem to get most of their ideas either by stealing them from others or digging them up out of the ground. But this is just the nature of empire; it’s always easier for an empire to consume than it is to create. So as little as they think of the Dynasty, they are eager to steal every little bit of knowledge they’ve discovered about Dunamis, and without the faith and moral sense the Luxon-based religion imposes, they will never be forced to put the use of this rare and dangerous magic into perspective. Imagine what harm they can cause with gravity and time magic when they don’t have that religious pressure to consider the value of life and choice. But this makes sense when their main sources of inspiration are the wizards of the Age Of Arcana; you know, the wizards whose hubris nearly destroyed the entire world and spurred an apocalyptic war that sent society into a dark age in which the gods themselves abandoned them? A+ inspiration material if you ask me.

Even the culture of these two groups in regards to how they regulate themselves is so eerily similar. Think of Delilah Briarwood. Member in good standing of the Cerberus Assembly. Also, worshipper of Vecna and talented necromancer. Only expelled from the Assembly after involvement from the Cobalt Soul, even when you know every other member of the Assembly almost certainly had loads of information on this lady.

It just makes me think of all the weird, right-wingers and Nazis who occasionally get expelled from the heights of Silicon Valley whenever some journalist exposes them, and how quickly their colleagues are to condemn them even when so many of them either knew this person was this way well before they were exposed or actively agreed with them and still do. I mean, think of how protected Bill Gates is, because of how much his philanthropist image has served to insulate and protect the gross consolidation of wealth and power in the hands of so few, even when his fortune was built on stolen ideas, military funding and research, and a hardcore software monopoly for well over a decade or two. Also, his philanthropy has done nothing to help African people build their own institutions of power independent of European and American influence, and have help distract us from the damage really caused to the entire continent by earlier colonialism and later capitalist imperialism.

This is to say as bad as our world is, I now definitely don’t want to live in Wildemount. I don’t want to live a world where Mark Zukerberg can cast Disintegrate. Not ideal. I guess I’ll just have to work that much harder to fix this one and not depend on learning Dunamancy to just put us on a different path. Bummer.

#Critical Role #Cerberus Assembly #Dwendalian Empire

[wxlfbites]

The Church of Satan

I can only imagine the amount of criticism and hate I'm going to get for this, so I just want to preface this post by saying that in 2015 I considered myself a LaVeyan Satanist for a while. I was a teenager and felt like what I was reading was exactly how I felt, it gave me a sense of justification for the views I had. I am not just some random, misinformed individual who only read anti-satanism propaganda. In fact, I've still actually never read anti-satanism propaganda. My opinions have been formed based exclusively on what I've read on the Church of Satan's own website. These are of course, my own opinions and people are allowed to disagree... I just think it might be something to think about if you're considering becoming a satanist.

THIS WILL BE AN EXTREMELY LONG POST

Firstly, I'm addressing the membership the Church of Satan is now implementing. ~ While the Church of Satan says that you do not need to become a member in order to consider yourself a satanist, it is clear that they encourage you to do so. It has registration and payment based memberships that allow you access to confidential information, rituals, and online chat groups you are otherwise not entitled to. Their website claims these memberships have always been in place, but I do not remember any such kind in 2015. ~ It is their policy that affiliated members are discouraged from exchanging member-exclusive information with non-members. They also express that if you are a non-member of the church, you should not expect members to keep up extended exchanges or promotion of your wares. Further, your membership is subject to rejection and retraction at their discretion and they openly state that when you apply for a membership, they gather information on you to ensure you are someone safe and trustworthy to allow in. ~ Whether or not it is intentional, they use guilt tactics in order to persuade people into becoming members. To quote some of these phrases on their own website: "Those who proudly carry our red cards identifying themselves as members have the strength and dedication to implement the tools traditionally associated with Satan". "Look to your other possessions and expenses (most people spend far more than this on general entertainment) and we’re certain you can do this if it means something to you to become a member." "We’ve discovered that most individuals can muster these funds if membership is something they truly desire." ~ They describe your membership card as a key that you must show and scan to other members to prove your affiliation. They make a few references to the underground secrecy that members may or may not choose to maintain, and so to protect their identities as members, these... calling cards if you will.. are used to discretely confirm ones membership in the Church. ~ They do not tell you where the money for your registration fee goes. In fact, they say: "That is up to the administration. It will be applied to whatever is most required at the time it is received. If you feel the need to know in more detail, then don’t join." Implying you don't have the right to know exactly where your money goes? ~ Their membership application includes inappropriate questions that no organization, religious or otherwise, should ever ask. These include: " Are you satisfied with your sex life? Describe your ideal of a physically attractive sex partner." "How many years would you like to live?" "In what organizations do you hold membership?" "Are you a smoker? If so, to what extent." "Do you drink alcoholic beverages? If so, to what extent? State preferences." " Secondly, how does satanism compare themselves to other religions and philosophies? ~ The Church of Satan declares themselves to be "a formidable threat to those who would halt progress in the name of spirituality and theism of any sort." "We are a group of dynamic individuals who stand forth as the ultimate underground alternative, the “Alien Elite.” ~ They state things like "Our members and officials will not serve as teachers nor as entertainers—we have neither the time nor the inclination.", "It is our policy not to spoon-feed information to students who are too lazy to do research." and "Your schedule is of no importance to us." so it's no surprise that the satanic texts they do not provide in full on their website, including the Satanic Bible, - which is there main text and one they highly encourage you to read - cost money. ~ They believe themselves to be the only form of satanism, stating: "People who believe in some Devilish supernatural being and worship him are Devil-worshippers, not Satanists.", "Anton LaVey was the first to define Satanism as a philosophy, and it is an atheist perspective." and “Theistic Satanism” is an oxymoronic term and thus absurd." ~ Statements like: "we stand in opposition to theist religions and their

inherent hypocrisy.", [regarding the word Shemhamforash] - "So, Satanists use it for traditional blasphemy’s sake.", [regarding someones question about their experiences with demons] - "Satanists do not believe in demons or other supernatural beings, nor do we believe in spells. Seek help from local mental health professionals to assist you to get over these delusions.", "We Satanists are all anthropologists to some degree and can find that not upsetting people who think in such simplistic and erroneous terms of “belief equals goodness and truthfulness” might be worthwhile to smooth the proceedings in which one is involved. Trying to teach them that they are mistaken in such a belief may not be worth one’s efforts." are pretty much self explanatory as to the lack of consideration satanism has for other religions as being true for others.

~ This statement: "Knowing this, if you choose to affiliate with any pseudo-Satanic or anti-Satanic groups, you may well find yourself disaffiliated from the Church of Satan. Forewarned is forearmed." might sound harmless at first glance, but this kind of reminds me of an isolation tactic where cults discourage their followers to read or engage with opposing or differing opinions because it might open their eyes to the truth of things?

Finally, here are some statements that I personally don't find are morally or ethically okay?

~ In terms of kids worrying about their parents approval the Church says: "Satanism teaches that, so long as you live with your parents, you are in “their lair” and must show them respect". Which... is literally the same shit abuse victims hear all the time..... (example "you live in their house, they're your parents and you should love and respect them no matter what")...

~ "There can be no more myth of “equality” for all—it only translates to “mediocrity” and supports the weak at the expense of the strong." is a statement I just .... wish I were making up at this point.

~"The emotional drive to “change the world” is a common stage of early adult development typically beginning around age 16 and lasting until around age 24. Usually, individuals who become aware as to how the world actually functions—rather than being lost in a fantasy wherein they will be some sort of savior figure—come to realize that idealism (such as changing the world) is less important than the principle of getting what you want for yourself.",

Also! Um.. they are fully aware and okay with people who uphold discriminatory political views....

To quote their website regarding politics: "Our members span an amazing political spectrum, which includes but is not limited to: Libertarians, Liberals, Conservatives, Republicans, Democrats, Reform Party members, Independents, Capitalists, Socialists, Communists, Stalinists, Leninists, Trotskyites, Maoists, Zionists, Monarchists, Fascists, Anarchists, and just about anything else you could possibly imagine."

And to justify this, they say: "Members who demand conformity from other members to their particular political fetish are welcomed to depart.”, "For a Satanist to expect, much less demand, consensus on any given issue, beyond basic advocacy of individual liberty within local laws, is an enterprise which is probably as masochistic as it is insane.", "Some naïve idealists seem to think that the Church of Satan as an organization risks irrelevancy if it does not become an advocate of certain political positions—usually their own pet issues which are assumed “must” be shared by other Satanists. This fear is based upon the assumption that the Church of Satan needs to change the world or risk “fading into obscurity.”

Again, all of this information comes directly from the Church of Satan website itself. It it not "propaganda". It comes from their own mouths. You're free to disagree with my interpretation and views of the above. But if you do agree, I'd love to know.

The things above make me uneasy. They give me huge cult vibes and are actually disappointing to read as someone who once considered themselves a satanist. As an omnistic pagan now, I do believe that all religions hold truths within them and can say that there are certain things within satanism I do agree with. But overall, I feel like calling satanism a religion is a stretch and should be joined with caution if it's something you are really interested in. I am only one person, I can't tell anyone what to do. But if you were considering becoming a satanist but hold values and views that the things in this post opposed or were opposite to, then maybe satanism isn't right for you. It's definitely not right for me.

I hope this post was educational at the very least. I hope that it might help people make a decision either way if they were interested in joining the Church.

#the polymorph chronicles #satanism #the church of satan #religion #satan #satanic #spirituality #philosophy #satanist #paganism #pagan #eclectic pagan #omnism #omnist

[mintyfrosty]

Love Without Words

DID I HEAR DETECTIVE AU FLUFF!?! WELL GUESS WHAT YA GOT IT!!!

Hope you enjoy this!

Tick. Tick. Ti-- SMASH

It was a wonder how the Hell Reginald put up with that pocket watch ticking in his pocket all the damn time.

Especially in a time like this; when it was just Reginald and papers. Papers upon Papers upon Papers.

Same old bullshit, he had known.

Of course, every one of them was important, but you learned that your eyes got tired of the same black lettering that came from the typewriter. The same pattern over and over and over. It made his mind go insane. Since, well, this job had a lot of this. Just had a different flavour of spice with every new case you received. Some horrific murders, others manslaughter, others just self-defence. And everyone falling under the bracket he worked under. Homicide.

Well, him and his 'partner.'

It was no secret to The Toppat Detective Agency that the two despised one another. At least, Lieutenant Copperbottom seemed to think so. Detective Right treated him like garbage; the only REAL explanation was that he hated the lieutenant.

And dear God, Reginald wished he shared that sentiment. He didn't.

Letting out a grievous sigh, the lieutenant leaned back in his chair, letting his aching shoulders stretch out from being hunched. Overworking yourself came with many pitfalls, but pained muscles had to be the worse of it. At least in his opinion. Besides, sleepness nights and empty stomachs had become the regular for him. This was homicide they were dealing with; not a joke. He could miss some of that out for his work; this was serious. Deathly so. Yet, his tired bones did make him regret somedays. This was one of those days.

Feeling his eyes look forward, a scoff came to his lips, seeing the lack of his partner across the desk. Must've gotten up when he was deep in thought; obvious because of how scattered the papers were (Reginald wished he would clean up one day). Mumbling to himself, the lieutenant rose out of his seat, neatly tucking it in as the bones in his lanky frame popped. Wasn't long before quiet footsteps echoed through the silent agency leading towards the balcony that had a door half-open. Exactly what he expected to see; Right looking out to the city with a cigar in his hand.

Of course.

"Thought I told you to stop smoking." Grumbled Reginald, having his arms folded, soon being by Right's side within a couple of steps. The detective gave some sort of a grunt for an answer, taking in a long inhale of smoke and blowing it out to the wind.

People did what they could to get by with the stress of the 1920s. Liquor was one of them, which Reginald dabbled in slightly. Smoking was the other; Right seemed to be on that lead.

...

"Want one? A smoke gets yer mind 'f t'ings, ya know."

"Pass, thank you."

...

"Wot's 'at? On yer wrist t' ere?"

Oh.

At the comment, Lieutenant Copperbottom looked down, eyes brushing over the dollar chain bracelet that ran over his gloved wrist. Feeling his heart brighten at the sight, Reginald leaned an elbow against the railing of the balcony, resting his chin in his hand, feeling the wind flow through his hair. A million lights greeted his eyes as they fell to the sea of bustling activity within the streets of the city. Huh. He'd never taken the time to look at the view before. With his gaze out in the distance, the answer formed.

"Oh. Recently, I've been receiving these notes on my desk. Someone's got an attraction towards me in the agency, I believe. Small things, like a cup of coffee and a note wishing I had a good day. Or, oh, finding my papers stacked up neatly, just the way I liked it when I fall asleep at my desk."

Loosely, he jingled the jewellery with a flick of his wrist. "Found this today on my desk with 'from the one who loves you most.' written on a napkin."

Judging by the other's movement, Reginald assumed the other looked down to observe it. 

Right had seen it before, he realised. On one of their first cases, Reginald had spotted the sight of it in the window of a jewellery shop. Immediately, he fell in love, telling himself to save up for it (even though he'd much rather steal it but that didn't look good for his reputation). Yet now, someone had heard of that interest and bought or stole it for him, leaving it anonymously on his desk. Which, to be fair, was flattering. Money didn't come easy nowadays; always a struggle to get by with the growing popularity in Moonshine. The question was; who had the money AND the dedication to Reginald to spend so much on him? Well, his partner had probably spread the word of it around the agency, he concluded; since why the Hell would Right buy such a gift for him and leave it anonymously on his desk? And well, the detective had a distaste for the lieutenant. No way he would do such a thing if he hated him.

"Yeah, right. So someone's got a big ol' crush on ye?" Mumbled the detective, taking another intake of smoke.

Well. Yes. Seemed to point toward that conclusion.

"Suppose you're right. Didn't think you'd have an interest in it." The lieutenant's ears caught the sound of the detective scoffing.

"Don't. Just find it funny someone's got the hots f' ya. Can ya blame me? Who'd wanna go pinning after you?"

... Well. ... Hm.

It...wasn't a secret that Reginald had quite the ego and took a lot of pride in his work. And so, it made a brief amount of sense why Right was so abrasive with his banter. Thought he could take it. And he could! He most certainly could; Reginald always spitting back something to amend to his comments. Curiously, however, the same rule didn't apply to this, the lieutenant's voice feeling dry as he mumbled something underneath his breath, the reflection of the night's lights in his eyes.

Heh. Who WOULD want to go pinning after him? "I don't know. I don't know."

...wasn't expecting his voice to break. Nor the tear that fell from the balcony to clash with the concrete ground after a long fall. A gloved hand brushed by his left eye, straightening himself up from the balcony. The small-dollar, gold bracelet on his arm twinked back at him, the lieutenant letting his voice give out a sigh. "I dunno. Probably an idiot."

"Ye know I'm only jokin', yah?" ...eh?

Curiosity filling his torn spirit, the shorter male turned his eyes up to his partner, who had his gaze somewhere out in the distance. Cigar twisting in his finger, the detective let out a grunt. "'m sure ye gonna find love."

... "...what?"

Well, that was... ...certainly unexpected. Yet welcomely unexpected. Just 2 minutes, Right said something that completely contradicted his statement, yet that was 'joking' as he phrased it. No way he was being genuine about Reginald having someone who was in love with him? That was almost perfect teasing material. Feeling conflicted, the lieutenant raised an eyebrow at hm. "Since when do you...not joke about things like this?"

"'til now, s'ppose." Alright then, be vague. Wasn't like that was the most out of character thing the detective had ever said to him.

Keeping a curious eye on him, Reginald reached down to grab a cigar from the pack that Right had left carelessly on a bench out on the balcony. And whilst he discouraged smoking, it was probably important to take a moment to ground himself, even if that was through Tabacco. Already heard Right scoff out a smile. "Thought ya said smokin''s bad for ya."

"It is. But do as I say, not as I do."

... Sure he was going to find love? Reginald's eyes fell to the pendant along his wrist, letting out a breath of smoke of his own.

If he was a fool, he might've thought that Right was trying to comfort him from the statement he made. Despite being a lieutenant and a master of handling evidence, he hadn't a clue to why he made such a statement when Right was usually coarse with his language. Whatever the reason, it was a mystery to him. The least he could do was to say: "Thank you..."

The other's eyes turned up from the city, body turning in his direction. "F' wot?"

"Figure it out; you're a detective." Without another sigh of smoke, Reginald dropped his cigar to the floor, stamping on it before making a walk back inside. The break was over. Had to return to work.

Blinking curiously at the door, the detective slowly turned himself back to the city, carelessly letting the cigar fall from his fingers down to the bustling city below. Someone else could deal with it. Finding himself to be very much along, Right planted both of elbows against the railing holding his face in both of his hands.

"'I dunno. Prob'bly an idiot.'" Quoted the detective, shaking his head to himself. "Ya know this idiot ain't good with 'is words."

#Detective au #MintyFrosty Au #Fanfiction #The henry stickmin collection #Henry stickmin #Henry Stickmin Collection #thsc #Reginald Copperbottom #Reginald #Right #Right hand Man #Right Hand Detective