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#ignoring the fact that I’ve been sick a majority of my adult life and that it’s gotten significantly worse the last couple of years
theskywaslookingback · 10 months
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My dad: *texts my mom the day after Father’s Day to see if I was mad at him because I didn’t call him*
Also my dad: *sends me a text on Easter and then radio silence for months* *does not call to ask if I have plans for my birthday* *does not text to check in on me* *does not invite me over to his house for anything ever* *allows my stepmom to use his money to prioritize her kids over me* *literally doesn’t ever act like he wants anything to do with me actually* *cancels or changes plans at the last minute because he decides he wants to drink instead* *offers to help my mom pay my car payments and then never does* *gets us gym memberships and then cancels them without warning because he didn’t have the money and just doesn’t tell me* *cannot hold a thirty second conversation without mentioning ‘the Chinese threat’ or ‘Covid was invented by democrats to replace Trump in office’*
My dad: Why doesn’t my child call me? I am the specialist most important person in the whole wide world. What could she have to be mad about?
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amendments · 3 years
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Pro vs Anti-shipping opinions from someone who is Neutral...and will get canceled on both sides anyway
It’s fair and 100% ok to deem ships that are problematic, “problematic”, and be uncomfortable with them...and maybe even try to discourage people from shipping them, but you absolutely do not have the right to act like an authoritarian little sh!t and dictate what people can and can’t do. Block and move on.
Proshippers can effectively draw/write/create whatever they want. This is the internet and no matter how much you whine and complain, the internet isn’t going to adopt a pro-censorship stance. However, if you create content for an obviously disgusting pair, you’re going to get criticism, and people are going to find you creepy. You will be judged, even if you’re using your ship as a coping mechanism. No one is free from it.
Criticism, suggestions, and expression of discomfort are NOT BULLYING. If someone doesn’t like your ship, too bad. However, if you’re blatantly telling someone to kay why ess, hurt themselves, giving them some type of violent threat, or are doxxing them, you’re a disgusting person and no better than the people who commit said actions you’re against.
If you’re a proshipper and bullying kids, you’re also apart of the problem. Be the bigger person and block/report.
No, not all proshippers are creeps, some are just people who are anti-censorship, sick of PC culture and ship said ships out of spite, and/or don’t actually like anything bad themselves.
No, not all antis are annoying harassers, stalkers, or minors, some are people who are genuinely concerned about the questionable work you put out or may expose to minors/victims. Also, the lack of restrictions of minors in NSFW spaces is...sus -_-
Yes, there are predators in proship spaces, but there are also predators in antiship spaces, and literally everywhere else on the internet. This isn’t a ship problem, it’s a fandom problem.
Antis who claim that neutral people are just as bad as proshippers, actually push us away. You aren’t making us want to side with you. In fact, you’re doing the opposite. Most people who are neutral/position-less are actually people who really don’t care. Why? Because ships and fandoms don’t engulf our lives, and we actually have more important things to worry about than bullsh!t that strangers online are fighting about.
No, not saying anything or having a position on a topic is not inherently condoning it, it’s just not involving yourself in the problem. -_- It’s hard to really speak about something that’s not on your radar.
No, literally nobody in real life cares, or will care, about this debate. Most people (surprise, surprise) don’t really care about fandoms in general. (Amazing I know). Frankly, I’ve seen people on both sides that are waaaay to invested in this discourse and need to go outside. If you are super passionate about literal internet discourse, go to the park and touch grass.
Antis who are minors, I can genuinely tell you, that no, bosses in the real world really don’t care about what their employees do as hobbies outside of work. If you actually tried to contact employers about NSFW art (of fictional characters) that an employee drew on their own free time, unless you give them actual evidence of them acting inappropriately towards real people, they will ignore you. It is only a concern if that person has actually expressed illegal behavior which could put actual people in danger. (BDSM art of All Might and Deku isn’t going to get someone fired).
Antis, yeah, people will find problematic ships gross, if you tell someone about them. But, unless they are actively involved in internet fandom culture, which the vast majority of people aren’t, they’ll completely forget about it 5 mins later.
Proshippers, no, people in real life don’t care about what you ship in your private life, but if you make your whole identity about your ship, or proshipping, people will think you’re a creep. You’re chronically online. Get a hobby outside of internet discourse.
I will unfollow problematic people, and people who have caused harm, but if you tag me because I’m following a proshipper, simply because they are a proshipper, and have not actually been a perve to real children, I’m not unfollowing them. And if you pester me about it, I will unfollow, block, and report YOU. Who I follow is my business, and I will not tolerate being harassed over Twitter drama. Buzz off.
I will also not unfollow someone who identifies as an anti, or simply criticized your ship if you do not give me evidence of them actually harassing people. I am allowed to have an opinion and engage with people who have similar disapproving opinions. Who I choose to interact with is my business alone.
I’m not un-tweeting a tweet just because a self proclaimed “proshipper” or “anti” tweeted it. Good art is good art, and good takes are good takes.
Some of you overuse the word “p£do” in references to ships. I don’t care how you view it, a ship between an adult and a minor that has a 2-3 year age gap is not p€dop1llic. This age gap is completely common among teenagers in real life, and you’re honestly sheltered if you think that’s automatically predatory. A 16 year old dating an 18 year old is a LOT less worse than a 20 year old dating a 30 year old, and the latter isn’t any less predatory or weird just because they’re both adults.
No, ships between two adults with a very large age gap, are technically not p€doph1llic, either. They may be predatory in nature, and you may perceive them as wrong and gross, but if it ain’t already illegal in real life, then it definitely ain’t on paper.
It doesn’t matter if she’s 1000 years old, we all know what the underlying intention of that character design is, buddy.
Speaking of underlying intentions, there’s a lot of unspoken racism and xenophobia rampant in anti-spaces...like more so than in pro-ship spaces. Racism is everywhere in fandoms, but white, western antishippers are...a particular breed...oozing with arrogance and ethnocentrism.
Thanks for reading my rambling novel if you made it to the end, this is just a venting post. I hate discourse.
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shreddedparchment · 4 years
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A Wife for Thor Pt.03
10/21/2020
Garden of Delights
Pairing: King!Thor x Reader          Word Count: 5,411
Warnings: angst, jealousy, talks of death, talk of sickness, infant sickness, neglect, fluff
A/N: As I said, writing itself right now. lol I’m not really sure how long this story will be. I have the basic premise set and a small plot, but if I choose to make this around the size of Pseudo Princess, I’ll have to come up with a bigger plot than the simple one I’ve got. Anywho, I hope you enjoy this chapter! I know I certainly loved writing it. If you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work! xoxo
Seriously, Thor doesn’t reblog as easily as Bucky or Steve on tumblr, so I TRULY appreciate it.
Please do not RESPOST any of my works on other sides or blogs.
REBLOGS always welcome!
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You’re still laughing gently, hiding your chewing behind your hand.
“Stop.” You plead, looking across the table at Thor.
Both of you seated on opposite heads of the table. To your left is Loki, smirking with no shame at the stories just relayed. To your right is Brunnhilde, sipping her wine…well, guzzling would be more apt.
She’s teetering left and right, elbow on the table as she shakes her head at Loki across from her.
They lock eyes and Loki scoffs, “Don’t pretend as if you didn’t want to stab him too when you first met him.”
“I never said I didn’t!” She argues, plopping her glass down a little too hard and the glass makes a loud clink that draws everyone’s gaze.
“Why did you want to stab him?” You ask her, reaching for your own glass of regular wine. Thor had promised that you didn’t want to try the Asgardian mix.
“You won’t wake for a week. Trust me, Your Highness.” He’d been super proper, and it was a little annoying, but you understand why he’s being so careful. He wants to impress everyone, especially the two who sit beside him.
To his left sits a woman, absolutely drop dead gorgeous with creamy moon skin and raven hair. She’s certainly one to watch out for as Brunnhilde had said.
She hasn’t smiled once since she gave you a small stiff grin as Thor had introduced you.
Even now she watches you, her hand resting on the table, a little too close to Thor’s hand for comfort.
Her fingers seem to be inching their way towards his and you feel the beginning bite of fangs in your mouth at the thought of her hating you because she wants Thor for herself.
This also makes you sad because you don’t meet women who are as unique as she, but Lady Sif has drawn a line and you find yourself on one side with Thor while she watches from the other, despising your very existence for taking the man she covets.
On Thor’s right is a man with his dark hair in dreads. Beautiful amber eyes stand bright against his dark skin, and the luxurious gray armor he wears, sits pretty on his muscular form. To his own right is a sword, placed between him and Loki.
He looks less amused by the story Loki and Thor just told them but when he meets your gaze, his eyes betray an amusement. Heimdall, protector of the Asgardian borders, has a soft spot for his King and his friends.
“To put it short,” Brunnhilde begins, popping her lips as she lifts her wine to her lips again, eyes locked on Thor. “He’s a bit of a doofus.”
Thor’s burst of booming laughter in infectious and you laugh too, just as Loki, Brunnhilde, and even Heimdall chuckles along gently.
Lady Sif is the only one who doesn’t laugh but merely smiles as she look at Thor as he shakes his head overwhelmed with amusement.
You know what she sees, the crinkles at the corners of his eyes are endearing. The sparkle of his one blue eye. The loveliness of his golden bearded face all stretched into a stunning smile.
“I am not a doofus!” He protests, then clears his throat and taps his fingers against the table as he makes his face as serious as he can manage. “What way is that to speak of your King?”
Brunnhilde throws her head back outrageously tickled by his words.
“You may be my King, but that does not make you any less of a doofus than before you earned your crown.” She throws at him and Thor laughs again, shaking his head as you quietly chuckle with them, loving this exchange and the ease at which they seem to be.
“What about that made you want to stab him?” You ask her, everyone’s gaze drawn to you and Lady Sif’s smile vanishing.
“Well, you’ll just have to wait and see.” Brunnhilde teases. “My condolences. Being married to this buffoon will be a true test of your character.”
Although her words are said as a joke, your heart gives a small lurch as you meet Thor’s gaze again, and this time he holds it, his own face falling a little to only a soft smile as both of you replay the conversation in the hallway once again.
“I’ll just have to try my best.” You tell her, a small shrug of your shoulder. “He seems alright so far. No major red flags. Besides the obvious.”
Thor’s smile is completely gone now, his brow furrowed as he continues to stare at you, his breathing a little deeper. A little more labored.
You’re nervous as you speak, voice shaking a little as your heart pounds and aches.
“What’s that?” Loki asks, also serious suddenly, picking up on the tension between you and Thor.
It might seem like you’re letting it go on too long on purpose, using it to make everyone uncomfortable, but really you just have to find the strength to speak as your nerves begin to get the better of you.
“Well,” You begin, voice still shaking. “I mean, look at him.”
And they all do.
“He’s also been really nice to me.” You admit, because aside from the unanswered question in the hallway, Thor has treated you respectfully, politely, with genuine concern and compassion…so far. “I think the deal was that I’m supposed to marry him and it’s alright if I don’t love him but, how long can I really resist?”
Brunnhilde scoffs, purging the atmosphere for everyone else of what you’re saying allowing them to relax and laugh at your strange way of telling them you find Thor attractive.
“At least your worries about your wife not liking you are assuaged.” Heimdall claps Thor on the shoulder, visibly shaking his body, but Thor’s intense gaze is on you alone.
Swallowing hard, you reach for your wine glass and take a deep drink, so conscious of Thor’s stare.
Dinner goes on just as it began and before long, Thor is back to laughing and chatting while your own attention is given to Loki and Heimdall whenever he remembers something he’s wants to ask.
When all plates are cleaned and glasses sit empty, dinner officially over, Sif turns hard eyes on you.
“So, I hear that you don’t have parents.” The interest is forced. She couldn’t care less about you or your life.
“Yeah,” You nod. “Um, they died a few months after I was born. Plane accident.”
“I’m sorry to hear it.” Heimdall laments kindly.
Beside you, Brunnhilde has her head in her hand, elbow on the table, eyes shut and mouth slightly open.
She’d just been talking so this is new.
“Thank you, but I don’t remember them. My only sorrow comes from never having a family.” You admit. “I grew up in a school—well, really it was an orphanage, but it was run much like a private school with uniforms that the government provided along with a minimal education. I attended until I became a legal adult and my lawyer, came to give me my inheritance.”
“Why weren’t you adopted?” Sif asks, her voice full of well-hidden venom that you can hear only because you know to look for it, her hand is inching towards Thor’s again and while he’s not your husband yet, the urge to stake claim over it is strong.
The way she asks also makes you feel as if she’s waiting to see exactly what is wrong with you. What can she use against you?
You smile, a smirk really, knowing what she’s up to.
You’re not unkind, but you bristle when attacked and Sif is making it easy for you to be defensive.
Searching within yourself for the strength to keep yourself calm, you take a deep breath before you answer.
“I wasn’t a healthy baby. I was sick, all the time. There was even a night my fever became so high that the doctors were sure that I would be left with brain damage. So, they watched me grow, expecting defects, but I got sick less and less the older I got.
“My speech and motor functions were top tier, and my learning capabilities were also fine.”
Everyone is silent, watching you with somber expressions. You’re a little on edge with them paying you such close attention, but this was the point of the dinner. To get to know each other.
“Unfortunately, potential parents were warned about the possible challenges I might face as I grew older, which put many of them off. While they wanted an infant, they didn’t want one that was broken.”
“I’m sorry for their ignorance.” Heimdall offers. “Clearly you grew up to be a lovely woman, but even if you had not, I’m saddened by their lack of compassion.”
You can only smile at him, having come to terms with the facts of your childhood long ago.
“Anyway, that’s why no one adopted me. So, a true family is something I’ve never had. I’m…” You blink, wondering how honest you want to be here. “I think it’s one of the things I’m looking forward to most. After tonight, I’m more convinced than before that this is will be a good environment to build a family. You’re all so nice.”
Loki, Brunnhilde—who’s awake again—and Heimdall are smiling. Lady Sif sits stiffly, her hands pulled onto her lap as she keeps her eyes locked on the empty plate in front of her.
Your heart stutters as you meet Thor’s eyes again. Staring deep into the single blue orb still locked on you.
“As conflicted as my past with the people in this room has been, I promise you, that is the right decision.” Loki assures you, a peaceful smile on his face that somehow comforts any misgivings you’ve been having.
At least about the people you’ll be around daily.
Your conversation with Thor in the hallway is a different matter, and one that you really want to finish.
“Well,” Brunnhilde slaps her hands on the table, rising to her feet with a little sway. “I think that’ enough pleasant conversation for me. I am tired-”
“And drunk.” Loki adds.
“-And that.” She agrees. “I need some sleep. So, Y/N, Your Royal Highness this has truly been a pleasure. I will be by in the morning to see you about wedding arrangements. Not too early though, you know—”
She steps out from in front of her chair, already walking towards the door large double doors.
Heimdall rises too, then Loki, Thor, and Lady Sif.
You stand last, fixing your dress as you do, making sure it isn’t stained. Luckily, it isn’t.
“This has indeed been illuminating.” Heimdall agrees, moving over to you to take your hand and press a chaste kiss to your knuckles. “Your Highness, it has been a true pleasure. I look forward to getting better acquainted with you.”
Loki is smiling, standing by the door but then he turns his eyes on Lady Sif.
“A word, Sif?” She looks at him, freezing beside Thor where she’d already begun to take his arm to pull his attention. “It won’t take long.”
With a sigh, she gives you one look before moving out the door in a huff, Heimdall following. Loki gives Thor a nod, something silent passes between them. With one final nod to you as well, Loki leaves.
“I really am very sorry that Volstagg, Fandral, and Hogun could not join us. Unfortunately, the Warrior’s Three are highly sought throughout the galaxies.” Thor says, moving towards you with calm slow steps. “They should be back for the wedding though.”
“I’m excited to meet them. Everyone was so kind.” You observe. “Well, almost.”
Thor looks confused, stopping just at the corner of the table beside you, his fingers nervously tracing the shape of the edge.
“Seriously? You didn’t notice?” You shake your head, somehow finding it funny. “I think Brunnhilde might be right about you being a doofus.”
Thor laughs once, blows a quick raspberry in denial at your conclusion. “Why do you say that?”
“Thor, Lady Sif hates me.” You point out, it’s so obvious to you and was obvious to Loki too at least.
“No.” Thor shakes his head.
“She kept trying to grab your hand! She kept glaring daggers at me.” You sigh. “She’s in love with you.”
“Sif is like a sister.” Thor tells you, as if this negates her feelings as well.
“She’s still in love with you.”
Thor sighs. “I’ll speak with her.”
“Don’t bother. I think Loki’s beating you to it.”
“Walk with me?” He asks, and your heart goes into sudden arrest.
Fingers nice and tingly, you swallow the lump in your throat. “What?”
“I would like it very much if you walked with me for a while. The night is not over yet, and despite the exhaustion of my court, it’s not actually that late yet. The gardens my people have cultivated for the palace are beautiful. I’d love to show them to you.” He offers his hand, waiting patiently for you to take it but you can only gawk at him.
“Isn’t it cold outside?” You ask, on edge.
Thor drops his hand. “Oh, right. Estrid?”
She’s already waiting by the door, auburn hair looking slightly disheveled.
“Ah, Estrid.” Thor smiles, big dopey grin on his face. “Oh, your hair…”
He gestures and she quickly fixes it.
“I’m sorry, Your Majesty.” She gasps.
“No, no. Just looked funny.” He eases her, and she calms instantly, smiling bashfully. “Can you fetch Her Highness a jacket?”
Estrid turns and rushes from the room but returns only seconds later with a long navy cloak. It isn’t a jacket, but it will match your dress nicely.
“That’s not a jacket.” You observe, feeling self-conscious.
Thor takes it from her and holds it open for you. There’s a clasp around the throat that will sit against your collarbone. “It’s a cloak. It’ll keep you just as warm as a jacket.”
You turn for him and he slips it over your shoulders, holding it until you turn to face him then he quickly fastens the clasp.
“Better?” He checks, fixing it around you.
You can’t find your voice to answer. Heart is racing. Damn him. This isn’t going to work if he keeps being sweet.
He offers you his arm and you hesitate, timidly wrapping your hand around the lower part of his large bulky bicep again.
“Wonderful.” He smiles wide. “Estrid, Her Highness will be in later, please prepare her bedroom so that she might go to sleep as soon as we return.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.” She curtsies quickly then turns and rushes out to get your room ready.
“She doesn’t have to do that.” You tell him, turning to watch her flee. “I can make my own bed and stuff.”
“It’s her job.” Thor tells you. “Will you take it from her?”
You think about it carefully, and despite the fact that  Thor is a warrior and has travelled around the world sleeping in terrible places with no comforts at times, you understand in this moment that having servants is something he’s used to.
“No.” You realize and make a mental note to let these people do their work without putting up too much of a fight.
Thor leads you off down a side door into another dark wooden hallway with beautiful cobbled floors beneath your feet with a long carpet running its length. No one seems to be walking around in this hallway which makes you think it’s more secluded.
“Did David tell you I like flowers?” You check, wondering how much information Thor has about you.
“No? I didn’t know that though. That makes this even better.” He realizes.
You lapse into silence, hand trembling around his bicep as your mind replays the last two hours, picking apart every moment, every word shared, and every lingering look Thor had given you.
“Did you enjoy dinner?” Thor asks, his voice much lower, quieter.
It’s an intimate volume and it startles you, giving you a little bit of a delay in your response.
You meet his eyes and he’s staring right at you, soft smile stretched across his lips. It’s more a peaceful expression, calming.
And yet, it has the opposite effect on you, and you gasp a little as you catch your breath. Your heart is pounding through your ribcage.
“It was good.” You nod, looking towards the large stone archway up ahead. One of the doors stands open, the Norwegian night beyond.
You can see a splash of beautiful green beyond and can already hear the soft tinkling of flowing water from what is probably a fountain.
“And the conversation?” He asks, tilting his head to one side as he gives it better thought. “Aside from Sif.”
“They were all super nice, Thor.” You smile, honestly grateful to Loki, Brunnhilde, and Heimdall for their warm welcome. “I wish Lady Sif had been more open. She’s been fighting at your side for a long time, right?”
“She has.” Thor nods, as the two of you break through the doorway and you’re greeted with an elegant garden larger than even the circular room you’d first met with Thor in.
Your jaw drops and you stop walking, gaping at the collection of flora and fauna each piece delicately pruned and cared for. There are certainly several small fountains, dark gray with small underwater lights to provide the garden with diffused illumination.
Despite the chilly night, the garden makes you feel warm with flowers of every color. Roses in white and red, lilies with stunning white, carnations in pink, wine, cream, yellow, and purple. Throughout the roses are smaller pink flowers you don’t know but they’re adorable and the fragrance in this garden is intoxicating.
“Wow.” You whisper.
“You like it?” Thor asks, smiling a little wider as he waits for you to take your long look.
“It’s beautiful.” You nod.
“Come.” He pulls you along gently, urging you to walk again.
You follow, your hand sturdier around his arm. “Do you like gardens too?”
Thor nods. “My mother used to cherish her garden. When we arrived, it was the first thing I had commissioned. They were finished building it before they even finished the palace.”
“She passed?” You wonder, looking up at the echo of sadness in his eyes.
“A while ago.” Thor nods. “I miss her counsel. She was always the voice of reason and logic in my life.”
“I’m sorry.” You offer, hoping it’s a comfort.
You reach up with your other hand, wrapping it around his arm too.
He looks down at you, eyes searching, confused? But his smile never wavers. “Thank you.”
The two of you lapse into silence again, you busy looking at every flower you pass in admiration, Thor lost in thought.
“I’m going to miss my herb garden.” You lament with a sigh.
“You had an herb garden?” Thor wonders, turning his attention back to you.
“Just a small one. I only had some rosemary and thyme. I wanted to grow some mint, parsley, basil, and dill but I didn’t get the chance.”
Thor stops walking, gently shakes his arm to make your hand slide down along his forearm. As it falls, you takes hold of it.
You’re startled, but you don’t pull away, your mind devouring the information you can gleam from this moment as quickly as it can.
His hand is warm. No…it’s hot. Like he’s had it shut for a long time. The skin is a little rough, calloused, but not uncomfortable. You can just imagine the battles he must have fought. His hand is so big. Fingers wrapped softly around yours. He gives it a squeeze and you feel it in your core that this isn’t going at all how you planned.
You almost want to run to your room and hide under your blankets with the speed at which you can feel yourself dropping your guard to him.
The plan had been to marry him, never love him, and live your life as best you can and probably take a lover at some point. You should be able to love too.
But it isn’t supposed to be Thor. You’re not supposed to fall for him.
You remind yourself of his refusal to be honest with you. You remind yourself that his heart is already given and accepted. Jane loves him too, even if she won’t marry him to prevent him from marrying someone else.
You can understand why she can’t give up her life to take on this one. It’s a lot to ask of anyone.
It helps you grasp onto reality, to remember the conversation before dinner and his inability to commit to honesty when It comes to Jane.
“I have something to show you.” He tells you and pulls you down the length of the garden until you reach a greenhouse.
Thor releases your hand and throws the doors open before holding his hand out for you to take again.
You do, and he pulls you into the narrow but long space. Each side is lined with planter boxes, each box holds a different herb, including all of the ones you mentioned before, and some you have never seen before.
“What is this?” You gasp, reaching for a particularly strange one in a deep blue, almost black color.
“It’s the Asgardian version of lavender.” He tells you, placing his other hand over the one you’re reaching out for it with. “But it stings a little for humans to touch with bare hands. There are garden glove in the box by the door if you want to cut some for your room later. It smells wonderful. My mother used to keep some on her desk.”
“I can take some?” You gasp, turning to look up at him and he’s standing so damn close, you shrink in surprise.
“Of course.” He smiles at you, “This is your home now. Anything in these gardens is yours to have.”
He’s so fucking nice! You hate him.
You’re too stunned by his proximity to speak, hands twitching under his own. He seems to realize what’s got you tongue-tied because he takes a step and one hand back but keeps hold of the other.
“I wanted to talk with you, it’s why I’ve brought you here.” He pulls you along, and you give the herb garden one final look before he shuts the doors and moves back towards the center of the garden.
There you find several white marble benches around a small manmade pond, surrounded by more flowers.
Thor leads you to one of these benches, then extends a hand towards it so that you’ll sit.
You do, nervous suddenly as he sits beside you, taking his hand back for the first time since he began to show you the garden.
“You’re making me nervous.” You admit, your mouth moving before you can stop it. Anxious is not a good state for you.
“No.” He assures you, shaking his head, full of concern. “No, please don’t be nervous. I only wanted to continue our conversation from before dinner.”
“Oh.” You nod, expecting to be denied the honesty you want.
How will you use his refusal to do it as an excuse to not fall for him if he agrees to it?
“You’re right.” He nods, turning in the seat to face you a little better, your body mirroring his.
“I am?”
“Yes.” He takes a long deep breath. “After everything that was said during dinner, after watching my friends meet with you and get to know you, I realize that you’re right in what you say. I am asking a lot from you. More than I care to admit.”
Your mouth is suddenly dry.
“Did you mean what you said?” He whispers, a trace amount of uncertainty in his deep voice.
“What did I say?” You ask, voice not as quiet but still a little breathless.
“About falling for me?”
“Oh.” Your brain goes fuzzy and your heart is probably going to burst through your chest like in that one horror movie you watched as a kid.
“Truth is, I chose you because you were different.” He nods. “Not, different from regular humans. Most of them are very much like you, which is great. I love humans. But compared to the other ladies that came to meet for this purpose, I…if I’d wanted someone who would turn a blind eye while I and Jane continued to see each other, then I should have chosen one of them.
“They knew what was expected, as did you, but I didn’t consider how the difference in you would affect your own responses.”
“Are you saying you don’t want me anymore?” You ask timidly, feeling a rush of emotions all mixing together, turning into confusion.
You’re almost happy that he doesn’t want you anymore. You won’t have to marry him and deal with Jane and a life of standing by watching him be with someone else while the world thinks you’re together.
Another part of you, the part that’s already out of your control—even though you’ll never admit it—can’t help but feel depressed that he’ll be married to someone else.
“No!” Thor rushes to assure you, sliding over closer so that he can take your hand again, his knee touching yours. “No, that’s not at all what I’m saying. What I’m saying is that I understand what you meant. I know why you were upset. I’m sorry that I did not consider this whole thing more carefully from your perspective.”
You feel a wave of relief and know you’re screwed. It’s already too late.
“But I need you to answer my question.” He says.
Your eyes go wide at the audacity of this man as you laugh because it’s so funny of him to need that of you when he couldn’t return the favor before. “You didn’t answer mine!”
He smiles, chuckling. “Answer mine first.”
As you consider him, blue eye staring at you with no restraint for the way his gaze makes you feel, your mood grows somber, all traces of your laugh gone.
“Yes.” You sigh. “I’ve never been in love before.”
You shrug.
“And it’s not like you’re not…I mean…You know damn well what you look like.” You growl.
Thor laughs, throwing his head back.
“And then you come in with that voice and you’re not rude or…I mean, you were a little mean with the whole asking me to put up with being married and having no love in it. Like, I get that it might be normal for royals or whatever, but I’m not really royal. I haven’t lived in a palace with servants and a crown on my head.
“I grew up in an orphanage with no friends. No one has ever loved me. My parents loved me, I think, but they died and no one has cared about me like that since. Even now, the only person on my side is David, and I know he only stuck around because he felt bad for me. He’s also getting paid by my estate, so…there’s that.
“I’m not asking you to love me. I know that you love someone else, but I was only asking for you to be open with me about it. If you want to meet Jane, fine. Meet her. But do it somewhere that I can’t see. Do it but tell me that’s where you’ll be so that even if rumors fly in my ear that Thor is meeting with his mistress, it won’t hurt as much. It won’t make me feel as stupid, because I already know that’s where you are.”
Thor’s hand over yours grows tighter, his face lamenting for who knows what reason, because you’re not in his head but you can see that he feels bad which is stupid and you hate him for it because it means he cares.
You only just met him but with every passing moment in his presence, you fall more and more. It’s not love yet. You know that. It can’t be a crush because you know him too well. You like him. You’ll admit that.
“To answer your question more clearly,” You take a deep breath, exhaling quickly to wipe away the excess of emotion that surged forward suddenly. “Yes. I meant it. I don’t love you now, but I think I could.”
Thor nods, looking down at your hand, turning it over in his own.
The silence feels endless! He won’t speak, but his thumb keeps caressing your hand and you kinda wanna bite him for it.
“If my mother were here, she’d be disappointed in me. She’d tell me that I should let go of Jane. She met her, and while she liked her but…We are clearly moving along different paths and as much as I love her, she is not the one for me. Not anymore. My mother would definitely think so.
“I think she would have really liked you.” He admits, and his words give you comfort. “She would have called me a fool to pass up such a sweet and level-headed woman.”
“I’m not that level-headed.” You confess. “I’ve got anxiety issues sometimes.”
Thor smiles.
“I think she would have been right.”
Wait, is he saying what you think he’s saying?
“I will talk with Jane tomorrow to…to break things off. It won’t be the first time for us to part ways and I think in the long run it will be better for us both.”
“Thor, you don’t have to-”
“But I do.” He nods, meeting your eyes. “I need to let go of my past to embrace my future. And that’s you and New Asgard. It’s my people.”
“I want this marriage to work.” He continues. “I chose you and I meant that choice. Out of all the women I met, your picture of an ideal marriage was the closest to mine. It would make me happy to live that life with you.”
You’re breathless, chest heaving as you struggle to find a coherent thought.
Thor seems to realize that you’re struggling because he places your hand on your lap, tapping it gently before scooting back a little to give you space.
He’s so fucking massive! How is it possible that this is seriously your life? This God will be your husband. You’re going to have his kids?!
Your cheeks burn, neck burns, ears burn, legs suddenly clenched together as the fear from before runs quickly through your mind.
They’d wanted a maiden and they got one. Will he talk about it with you later? You can’t bear to talk about it now. You’re too embarrassed and overwhelmed by what he’s saying.
“So,” He starts, rising to his feet to tower over you. Then he falls, gliding gently onto one knee before reaching into his pants to pull from his pocket a small brown pouch.
He opens it, turns it over, and into his hand tumbles a shining silver ring.
“I chose this before I knew you liked flowers but now that I know, it makes me glad I picked it.” He smiles, “It just made me think of you when I went searching so, I hope you like it.”
He grabs it with two fingers, pinching the thin band delicately to hold it upright so that you can see the stunning design. A round diamond rests in the middle, shining brilliantly at the center of what looks like a lotus flower made of smaller diamonds filling its leaves.
You hate him because you absolutely love this ring. You love the sight of him on his knee in front of you. You love the way he scoots closer so that he can hold your hand easier as he gently straightens it and presses the ring to the tip of your finger.
“Will you marry me, Y/N? Will you be my Queen?” He asks, and you’re so silent, he grows visibly nervous. “Please?”
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You laugh at the hitch in his voice, the plea there.
“Yes, stupid.” You laugh again.
He chuckles as he slips the ring on your finger, then after a moment of hesitation, he hooks his hand behind your neck and pulls you down to meet his lips.
Eyes wide, heart stopped, you freeze as hot lips fry your nervous system.
754 notes · View notes
ateezmakemeweep · 3 years
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richboy!yeosang (part 3)
word count: 6k
fluff, smut
(part 2) (miniseries masterlist)
except that. 
that was probably the one thing you could’ve said to him that’d be really bad and panic-inducing; because out of all the things he was thinking, he would’ve never suspected that.
he thought maybe you wanted to change your major or quit your job, stressors that the average college student had and went through during their time as a young adult.
but you getting pregnant after years of being on birth control? he never would’ve guessed that.
and he supposes right now, as he gets his ass handed to him by seonghwa, he’s seeing that neither did you.
“no, no, let me get this right,” the man begins. 
“she tells you after a month of being terrified that she’s carrying your child. you guys scream and yell at each other for a little bit, in typical yeosang fashion. she cries, tells you to fuck off and then you... actually do fuck off and come here?” seonghwa asks, leant against the doorframe as he watches yeosang’s unmoving body plopped face down on his couch.
“does that sound about right?”
he had figured yeosang was the late night food he ordered, ignoring the way his face was gonna puff in the morning and excitedly opening the door. 
but then his best friend of over ten years came barreling in, lowly growling expletive after expletive before adding that, “oh and by the way, you’re gonna be an uncle.”
seonghwa thought he was kidding at first, staring at the boy sitting with his head in his hands before he looked up and saw all the tension and stress and... sadness, he thinks, in his friend’s eyes.
“what happened?” seonghwa asked, his voice soft and kind even though yeosang came tearing in there like a storm; it’s one of the reasons the boy came here, honestly, knowing that his friend would help him through any crisis. 
and right now, he felt like he didn’t know what the fuck to do.
“i’m pregnant.”
he didn’t even register the words at first, distracted by your tear-stained face and watery, scared eyes, wanting to do anything in his power to stop them.
but then after a few seconds, it’s like his brain finally woke up and registered the two simple words that just left your mouth.
“what?”
“i’m pregnant, yeosang,” you mumble quietly, not being able to bask in the relief that comes over you because you’re still so scared.
you’re relieved that you told him and happy it’s not a dirty little secret anymore but you’re still terrified of what’s to come; especially when, after you say it, silence fills the apartment.
you can’t tell if it’s a good silence or a bad silence, you just know you could hear a fucking pin drop and that scares you even more.
“how are you.... when did you...” he stutters out, not being able to get his thoughts together.
you daringly peek your head up to see him shaking his and staring down at the floor with furrowed brows, finally meeting your gaze with confusion and utter shock in his eyes.
“you’re on the pill,” yeosang states obviously, like it wasn’t the first thing you, mingi and yunho said too. “how did that even happen?”
“i don’t know, that’s what i said,” you tell him, shaking your own head because it really is hard to believe this is happening to you, of all people; you’ve heard of this happening before but no one ever thinks it could happen to them, that they’d be the 1% (or 9%, as mingi suggested) that birth control fails on.
“did you forget to take it or something?” he asks, no malice in his tone but the words making you raise an eyebrow at him; he’s not seriously about to blame you for this?
“no, yeosang, i didn’t forget to take it,” you snap. “you know i’m careful and set an alarm. i’ve been on it for years.”
“babe, i didn’t mean it like that,” yeosang says, hearing the snippy tone in your voice and wincing at the look on your face.
he makes his way over from his spot on the couch to crouch below you, his hands resting on your kneecaps as you sit stiffly with your feet under you. the soft apologetic look on his face should soothe you but instead you find yourself slightly irritable. 
“i’m just confused as to how this happened,” he says softly, his eyes roaming your face in a way that makes tears continue to sting yours. you don’t know if you’re mad or upset, you just feel like you wanna cry.
“well then that makes two of us,” you mumble, a sigh leaving yeosang’s mouth as he rests his head on your legs. his forehead is warm against your cold skin as you let out a sigh of your own, not wanting to snap at him during a moment like this. 
you lace your fingers in his hair as the two of you just come to terms with everything, yeosang’s breathing a little more calm and even against your skin.
“so that’s why you were puking,” he realizes aloud, a humorless laugh leaving you as you nod your head in confirmation.
“yup. not a virus but morning sickness.”
your boyfriend has the slightest pout on his lips as he recalls how sick you felt those first few days, running his thumbs along your knee gently.
but then he remembers you started puking nearly a month ago, which was then followed by all your weird behavior he chopped up to you still feeling sick and stressed over work.
your abnormal distance, your lack of interest in sex, a far away look in your eye any time he was trying to talk to you; he feels a slight sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach before he even asks the question.
“when did you find this out?”
he doesn’t mean to blurt the question out so forcefully but he can tell he does, hears it in his own voice and sees your face snap down to him with a look of guilt.
that was the one thing he noticed about you right away, you weren’t able to lie. you were always such an easy read and it’s one of the reasons he took such an interest in you.
he knew what pissed you off and he knew what made you flustered; but in turn, he also always knows when you lie or when you feel uncomfortable and annoyed.
when he’s met with silence, he moves away from your lap and stands in front of you. he pulls you up and over to the couch so you can both sit side by side, his body turned to look at you carefully.
his gaze is intense and scrutinizing and it only makes you that more nervous to answer.
you’ll never forget when yunho said that’s what made him so intimidating. the way he could have the softest, sweetest eyes but then also pierce through your very soul and make you nearly fall to his feet.
“baby...” he tries again, bringing his hand to your face gently.
he turns so you can look at him and you see his eyes flash when he notices more tears have welled up, stomach sinking as fear and shame build.  
“answer me, please,” he begs softly, trying to keep his emotions at bay but also hating to see you like this.
you press your lips together so you don’t let out a pathetic sob, your eyes roaming his face before you bite the bullet and begin telling him.
“when yunho came over that first week i was sick,” you start, remembering the boy only insisted on visiting because yeosang went back to school and work and didn’t want you being alone. 
“then mingi came over and was the one who said it. i-i didn’t think it was possible but we went and got tests anyway and... they were all positive, yeosang. all fucking five of them and i didn’t know what to do. i was a wreck on this couch until you got home.”
“you should’ve told me right away, baby, what the fuck,” yeosang says, his voice strangely soft despite the louder volume and curses leaving him. 
you feel comforted by the fact that even as you tell him this, he pulls you closer into his warm body and wraps his arms around you.
he hates thinking that for a month, you were terrified and dealing with this alone. keeping it from him when he thinks he could’ve made you feel better about this whole scary moment - it’d be better if you guys were afraid together.
“i was so scared and i didn’t know how you’d take it,” you mutter to him, not wanting to make him feel bad but also wanting to be honest. “i didn’t know if you’d be mad or surprised and you just seemed so stressed with work and stuff... i didn’t wanna make it worse.”
his heart sinks as he listens to your words, allowing yourself to be full of anxiety and stress just to spare him.
“my love...” his deep voice mumbles lowly, your stomach flipping at the warm affection in his tone. his hand cupping your face immediately makes your body relax against him, finally gaining the courage to look him in the eyes.
his gaze is less intense and scrutinizing, now full of love and affection and warmth that already makes you feel just a little bit better. 
maybe keeping this a secret wasn’t that big of a deal, maybe he understands because he’s going through the same fears and anxieties you were at first.
“now, why would i be mad about you being pregnant?” he asks, a small smile on his face as he looks over you questioningly. “surprised? sure. but we just talked about it, baby.... i want a family with you. i mean... i was thinking a little bit later in life but if you’re so eager now...” 
you narrow your eyes at his teasing and smack his arm lightly, almost wanting to whine about how calm and nonchalant he’s being about this. 
how is he not absolutely terrified right now? how is he teasing and smiling and talking as if a tiny person isn’t gonna pop out in nine months and change your entire life?
“how could you possibly be this calm about it?” you ask him with an annoyed groan, leaning back on the couch to rest your pounding head on the armrest. “i spent weeks crying and sick to my stomach about it.”
“maybe because you were keeping it from me,” he mutters sarcastically, his hands resting next to your head as he looms above you. 
you can only respond with your lips in the smallest of pouts, a smirk crossing his mouth before he meets yours in a chaste kiss.
it’s the most real and intense a kiss has felt between you two in weeks, his hand creeping over to hold your jaw tightly. you welcome his tongue eagerly, your own lapping against his before you two smile into the kiss.
“for real, though,” he mutters when he eventually pulls back, chests heaving from lack of air and a need to reconnect lips. “i know you’re scared and so i am. but it’ll be okay. i’m... kind of excited, actually.”
you smile softly at him, a tiny “really?” leaving your mouth that has him nodding and smiling proudly. you reach up to peck his cheek sweetly, the calmness that evaded you for weeks finally coming back to ground you.
“but don’t keep anything else from me, okay? i wanna be part of these things and know about this, babe.”
“okay,” you say breathily, his eyes so thoughtful and loving you can feel your heart swelling in your chest. 
and it doesn’t even occur to you in that moment to mention the doctor visit you already had; you’re just so distracted by his positive reaction and the need to kiss him, finally allowing yourself to deepen it and give yourself over to him.
you missed him and his touch and his lips on you, straddling his lap as you giggle into the kiss.
it’s after a few minutes of silence, you both laying there with heaving chests and your clothes littered on the floor from nearly an hour of making up for lost time, that yeosang starts tracing shapes on your stomach. 
lines and circles and even a heart that makes you bite back a smile. his own deep chuckle rings through the air a few seconds later, your head craning to the side to look at him.
“why are you laughing?” you ask, a smile pulling at your lips.
“i just... can’t believe this,” he says happily, his warm hands on your skin making your heart jump. 
“and i think it’s pretty funny that fucking mingi was the one who came to this conclusion,” yeosang laughs out, his long, gentle fingers pressing down mindlessly. “like how’d he even know about...morning sickness and shit?”
“i don’t know to be honest,” you giggle out, thinking back to the boy’s meltdown in the doctor’s office.
and maybe because you were so happy and giddy about his reaction, his warm hands on you and the soft smile on his face and the bliss from multiple orgasms, you didn’t even think about your next words.
you were just so excited to share these things with him now, let him in on the past few weeks of what you were going through and wanted to be going through with him. 
“you should’ve seen his face at the doctor, though, he looked horrified when he saw the sonogram machine. and then when they presumed he was the father, oh, my god, he nearly-”
“wait, wait, wait, what? the doctor?”
your face falls when you hear the immediate change in his voice, something mixed of hurt and disbelief as he sits up and looks at you in confusion. 
“when did you go there?”
“i... well, two days after i took the tests. we just wanted to make sure the results were right,” you say quietly, voice small and soft as your stomach starts to churn. “a-and i wanted to make sure i was, you know, healthy and stuff.”
you remember the horror stories and scary incidences of ectopic pregnancies, aware and terrified of just how many things could go wrong - and mingi was quick to remind you himself as well.
“i mean i get that,” yeosang says, surprised by how hurt and upset he’s feeling now. “but like... when were you gonna tell me you already went? the first appointment seems kind of like a big deal, y/n. i wish you would’ve told me then.”
“i was scared, yeosang,” you attempt to justify again, knowing it was wrong to keep it from him but also feeling as if you have the right to be a little nervous and scared shitless. “i didn’t know how to handle it and you were stressed, like, that whole time, i didn’t wanna-”
“i’ll never be too stressed for you, what don’t you get by now, y/n?” he snaps, “have i not proved that to you?” 
“of course you have but this is different, yeosang,” you tell him, joining as you sit up and look at him with wide eyes. he was fine about it a few seconds ago, why is this so different? 
“this is me being pregnant and possibly changing our life forever. you said you wanted to be married first. you said not for a while. so i didn’t know how you were gonna-”
“i love you, y/n,” he laughs out, shaking his head half in disbelief. 
how did you think he was gonna react? go crazy and tell you he didn’t want to be with you anymore? have a mental breakdown because he was a little stressed over his stupid boss and mundane work?
“do you not get how much i actually fucking love you? how could you think i was gonna react in any way but happy?”
“because i wasn’t happy,” you blurt out, his eyes widening and face dropping. 
“i mean i wasn’t upset or angry about it but i was so fucking scared, yeosang,” you quickly correct. you want this baby and you want this life with him, you’re just... how did this go so wrong so fast? 
“my body’s gonna change and our life is gonna change. i’ll probably have to take some time off from school and all of that scared me. and i thought it would scare you, too.”
“it does scare me but i know we’ll get through it, y/n. especially if we’re on the same page. the same way we’ve been on the same page for these past few years. we’ll be okay but you can’t keep shit from me. that’s how we got this far.”
“i didn’t mean it in a bad way,” you whisper, hearing that edge in his voice he always gets when he starts to get mad or dwell on something. 
he was hurt by you keeping it from him but he’s even more hurt you did such a big first step without him.
“i didn’t know you’d wanna come to the appointment with me.”
“how could you think i’d not wanna be there, y/n?” he asks before his face darkens and a tick begins to form in his jaw. “and then you take another man, no less? mingi looked like the baby’s father.”
and it’s like once he says that, you can’t control the outburst of emotions that erupt out of you. him being upset, you understand, but being upset that mingi, your gay best friend who has a fiancé, went with you? when you were scared and freaking out and felt like you didn’t know what to do without him?
“are you fucking kidding me?” 
his eyebrows shoot up at the bite in your words, his eyes flaring as they watch you stare him down.
“i’m sorry i didn’t tell you, i really am, yeosang, and that was wrong of me. but i went with mingi. my best friend, who was there for me when i was terrified.”
“you didn’t let me be there for you,” he bites back, hating that a fight is starting but both of you feeling far too angry and hurt right now. “why are you making it seem like i didn’t wanna be a part of it when you didn’t fucking tell me?” 
“are you gonna keep throwing that in my face? i’ve told you over and over again i was scared, yeosang. i’m still fucking scared and i’m sorry i can’t be as calm as you about this but i didn’t know what to do.”
“it’s not about being calm, y/n, it’s about telling me things. were you not even gonna tell me you went? pretend as if our first time going together was your first check up?” 
he feels like he’s being a little bit of a bitch about it at this point but he’s truthfully too hurt to care. 
he thought he made it clear he wanted a life and a family with you. he was ready to go out and buy you a ring if you said you wanted to get married right now; so why didn’t you get he wanted to be there for you, no matter what? 
he wants to be there during every step of the way, not just when things are easy and fun.
“i didn’t even think about it,” you snap, hurt and upset by his accusations. “i didn’t think you’d be this upset, yeosang. you weren’t upset five seconds ago when i told you i kept it from you for a month so why are you upset about this?” 
he can’t hear how small and sad your voice is, only focused on your words and the way they make him feel even more upset and frustrated. 
“because... that’s different, y/n. that’s something a father should be there for and that’s something that makes it real.’
“that’s exactly why it scared me,” you tell him, tears burning your eyes and your voice barely above a whisper. “and that’s why i needed someone there with me.”
“it should’ve been me there with you,” he growls lowly, possessiveness and anger creeping up on him before he can even think. 
but he can only picture you scared and vulnerable as you hear the news about your baby, listening to the doctor congratulate you and holding mingi’s hand tightly because you’re scared to hear it from a real, human source. 
“do you not think i know that?” you snap, voice raising as you jump up from your spot on the couch. “i already told you i’m sorry, yeosang. i don’t know why you’re not hearing that i’m fucking scared.”
you wanted him from the second you started taking the pregnancy tests, since the second the words pregnancy were even said. but you wanted him to be content and stress-free more, you wanted him to be okay hearing this news and not potentially destroy your relationship. 
“and if you’re just gonna keep making me feel bad about it then how about you just fuck off. because i really don’t need this right now.”
he doesn’t have anything nice to say so he doesn’t say anything, watching as you attempt to wipe at your face discretely and take off toward your shared bedroom. 
the sound of the door slamming echoes through the apartment, the knot in yeosang’s stomach only growing more as he gets up and stomps over to throw his shoes on, a similar sound echoing from the entrance of the apartment before silence fills the darkness. 
seonghwa waits until yeosang looks up at him to walk over to the boy, plopping down on the chair across from him to shrug his shoulders. 
“so... why’d you come here then?” 
“i didn’t know where else to go.”
a smirk crosses the boy’s face as he shakes his head, letting out a sigh as he watches his friend carefully.
long gone were those high school feelings of envy and suppressed anger over the situation, able to see now, three years later, that yeosang was the one meant for you. 
getting away from you two proved to work for him, distracting himself in a foreign country with foreign friends and foreign girls until he came back and saw how happy you two still were.
and all he really ever wanted was for you two to be happy - and he’s positive you two are gonna get past this by tomorrow morning. because he’s never seen a couple more perfect for each other, even despite your blowout fights. 
“well, do you wanna know what i think?” 
yeosang rolls his eyes up to look at his friend, the cocky grin and glint in his eyes already not sitting well with him.
“not really. i came here to vent and lay on your expensive couch.”
“you got me that couch, asshole.”
“exactly,” yeosang says, resting his head back on the cushion and almost regretting purchasing this for seonghwa’s housewarming present and not his own. 
“anyway you dick,” seonghwa says, suppressing the chuckle threatening to leave him. “i think you’re a fucking idiot for leaving her and have to go back home.” 
and just as yeosang opens his mouth to speak, unsure of what he’s gonna say but feeling the need to say something, seonghwa raises his pointer finger and cuts the boy off.
“you have to remember it’s gonna be her body and her life being impacted the most by this. i get why you’re upset that she went without you, i’d probably be hurt too, but it’s how she felt most comfortable at the time. you can’t get mad at her for that. it’s fucking scary, yeosang, and i’m surprised you’re not more terrified about it.”
yeosang listens to seonghwa’s words, letting them soak in his pounding head that’s now screaming at him for leaving you home alone in the first place.
he knows his friend is right and he knows he might’ve overreacted a little. 
but he also thinks he’s a little more scared than he’s letting on, wanting to be strong and secure for you but also knowing firsthand how important being a good father is.
it took him long enough to figure out how to be a good boyfriend, he would hate if it took him that long to become a good father and mess up his child along the way. 
but he thinks because he has you, the whole journey will be a lot easier. 
“i’m scared but i love her,” yeosang says, the words so sweet and honest and soft, seonghwa’s surprised to hear them leave his friend so easily. “i’ve had every intention of marrying her and becoming the father of her kids. so it doesn’t seem that scary, i guess.” 
seonghwa feels his heart pull in his chest at the mere fact this is the same friend who used to never let anyone in, would purposely isolate himself and self sabotage and thought being an asshole was easy because it pushed people away. 
but he tried to push you away and it only seemed to bring you two together, a smile pulling on seonghwa’s lips before he bites down on them quickly. 
“you fucking sap.”
yeosang’s head snaps up at his friend, an annoyed expression crossing his face before he grabs the pillow next to him and promptly whips it at his friend. 
“shut up. that’s you and will always be you. little bitch.”
seonghwa snorts as he cranes his neck to the side, eyes roaming the dark night sky and high rises of the city. silence falls between the two boys as they sit with their thoughts, yeosang about you and wondering what you’re doing and seonghwa wondering where the fuck his food-
a knock on the door causes him to spring up, rushing over and sighing in relief when he’s greeted with his late night pancake order. yeosang nosily peeks his head over the couch, his interest heightening when he sees his friend carrying a to-go box of food. 
“what’d you get?”
“none of your business,” seonghwa responds, placing the box on the table before disappearing into the kitchen. 
yeosang rolls his eyes before making his way over to the table, his eyebrows knitting together before he lets out a humorless laugh. almost one of disbelief.
"of course, why wouldn't you be stealing the last free muffin," yeosang hums sarcastically, a smirk on his lips that has you snatching your hand away.
"you're mean," you whine, resisting the urge to stick your tongue out at him, "they were out of chocolate chip pancakes and i'll have you know i was willing to spend the $10."
"wow, $10," he says, tone dripping with sarcasm as he picks up the muffin and resists the urge to smile when a pout covers your face.
he remembers that day at the ski lodge feeling like it was longest one of his life, the night quickly falling before the power outage landed you in his room.
it’s when he confessed all of his tragic tales to you, something he hid from everyone and told you simply because a part of him was overwhelmed to. 
it didn’t excuse how he treated you but he’d hoped you’d understand after hearing that why you should stay away from him.
why trying to see any good in him at that point in his life was ridiculous. 
but you never stopped and he remembers to this day that’s when he allowed himself to fall for you, blew all his trauma and caution and doubts to the wind and tried to be worthy for someone like you. 
but he also remembers seonghwa coming in and looking at him like he was about to beat the shit out of him that night, whisking you away before they started to fight over you in dramatic, movie night fashion. 
it’s why he didn’t even hesitate to think back to that morning with you, the pout on your face and sad look in your eye about not being able to eat those $10 chocolate chip pancakes ingrained in his mind.
“can i still order room service?” he asked the front desk, the flustered voices on the other end of the phone letting out a frustrated groan before telling him yes; it probably wasn’t the nicest thing to do after an unexpected power outage shocked the staff, but he needed a one up on seonghwa at the time. 
“can i have an order of chocolate chips pancakes then?”
“don’t even try it,” seonghwa growled at the boy, pushing him away before plopping down on the dining room chair. 
yeosang let out a snort as he raised an eyebrow at the boy, looking from him to the food then back to him. without a second thought, and only a little bit of a distasteful sigh, seonghwa plopped a pancake on the lid for his friend and pushed it away from him. 
“only because i’m gonna be an uncle.”
“maybe a godfather, who knows,” yeosang mutters, a smile breaking out across seonghwa’s face before he promptly shovels a pancake in his mouth. 
the two sit in silence for a few moments, sounds of chewing and disgusted looks being thrown back and forth before seonghwa swallows and begins to speak. 
“for real, though, it’s cool you guys are gonna be parents. you’ll be a good dad, yeosang.”
the boy looks up at his friend and sees nothing but honesty in his eyes, stabbing his fork through another piece of pancake before popping one in his mouth. 
“you think?” 
he thinks this is why he came here, too; because without even him verbalizing it directly, his friend somehow knew one of the silent worries he was having. 
“i do,” seonghwa nods, a small smile on his face as he looks at his friend. “kind of early and surprising but i don’t think that matters. you and y/n are good for each other. you’ll figure it out.”
yeosang smiles at his friend warmly, popping another piece of food into his mouth and swallowing.
“and if you somehow fuck up again with her,” seonghwa adds, yeosang looking back up to see a shit eating smirk across his friends face. “i could always step in for old times sake. raise the baby as my own. i think that’d be pretty-”
“shut the fuck up.”
a deep chuckle bubbles out of seonghwa at his friend’s words, covering his face and shouting the boy’s name when a few seconds later, utensils are hurled right across the table.
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the apartment is as dark and quiet as it was when he left, kicking his shoes off to the side before quickly making his way toward the bedroom.
he pushes the door open quietly, met with the sounds your breathing as you lie asleep in bed. he leans his head against the doorframe as he watches your sleeping form got a moment, his stomach sinking the whole time he walked back home. 
he felt bad about the fight and it’s hitting him even more at this very moment, walking over to crouch beside you and move a messy piece of hair out of your face. 
he frowns upon seeing your pouted lips and puffy face, his finger swiping under your cheek where dried tears are; he can tell you probably cried yourself to sleep. 
leaning forward, he presses a feather light kiss to your skin, licking over his dry lips as his stinging eyes roam your face.
he doesn’t know how long he just kneels there and watches you, his hand running through your hair as regret and shame bubble in the pit of his stomach. 
it’s a strange contrast to the overwhelming feeling of warmth in his chest, heart soaring at the fact you both have gotten this far together. that you’ll now be expecting a child, half you and half him, and start a little family that he only began to picture when he met you.
he wasn’t even sure if he wanted kids until you came along, the idea of you and only you carrying his child; watching you with them and making him love you even more.
“yeosang?” you mumble sleepily, your eyes blinking open slowly in a daze. 
you felt a presence next to you and hands in your hair, waking up panicked for less than a second before you saw your boyfriend’s familiar outline in the darkness. 
“hi, baby.” 
his voice is deep and thick with emotion, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you sit up to look at him. 
you don’t know if you’re more alarmed by the tone of his voice or the look on his face, still dazed from sleep so you’re not exactly remembering what happened hours ago. 
you recall laying down with your face in the pillow, quiet cries wracking your body, before promptly passing out into a dreamless sleep.
but now you’re blinking at him with such confusion and such a soft, sleepy look, messy hair and sleep marks on your puffy face, that it make tears sting the back of his eyes. 
he can’t believe he left you here alone. 
“i’m sorry. i’m so sorry and i know you’re scared.” 
your eyes widen slightly as he sits up and pulls you into him despretely, your face in his chest before his arms wrap around you and hold you tight; it’s almost too tight, making it hard to breathe in his warm body, but you wouldn’t dare a say a word. 
because the more aware you become of your surroundings, the more you remember from earlier in the night. you cursing at him and not being sensitive enough, finding his concerns ridiculous but also realizing, he just wanted to be there for you. 
he wanted to be there for you every step of the way and you can’t blame him for being a little hurt.  
but he also can’t be mad for you being scared and not knowing how to react right away, dealing with more than just the simple fact of telling him. 
“i know you’re scared and i know it’ll be hard for you but we’ll do it together... okay? we’ll get through it, baby, and i’ll be there for you the whole time. i just don’t wanna fight with you.”
“me either,” you mumble against his chest, tears swarming in your own eyes when you pull back and see his eyes are glossy, too. “it wasn’t fair to you and i should’ve told you sooner. i... i shouldn’t have been scared to tell you.”
“i get why you didn’t though,” he hums lowly, remembering how much he complained to you those few weeks about being stressed from work. “i get your life is gonna change more than mine and i’m sorry i didn’t-”
you interrupt his words by pressing your lips to his, worming your way into his lap as he meets your kiss with a fervor. your mouths part and his tongue teases at your mouth, just passing that line of sweet and chaste. 
“it’s okay,” you mumble when you pull back, a small smile on your face as you look at him and wrap your arms around his shoulders. “we’re okay now.” 
a smile crosses yeosang’s face as he nods, pulling you into him again as he presses his lips against your forehead. 
he closes his eyes as he takes in a few calming breaths, feeling your warm skin under his lips and your body close to his; you guys are okay and he didn’t mess anything up. 
you’ll still have to take it day by day but he knows you guys are gonna be okay.
you hear him mumble a quiet “i love you,” against your head and you smile softly as you pull back, responding with a softly spoken “i love you,” before you lean back and plop yourself back down on the warm space you previously occupied.
it didn’t feel right sleeping here without him. the bed felt far too big and far too cold and far too empty. 
“can you sleep with me now?” you whine softly, a pout on your face as you stretch your arms out to him. “i missed you.” 
and it’s the fact that you missed him even though he made you cry that makes him hold back tears again, throwing himself down on bed and pulling you over so you can rest on his chest.
you cuddle yourself closer to him with a content sigh, intertwining your arms and legs as you lay your head over his chest. 
“i don’t know how we used to fight all the time,” yeosang mumbles after a few seconds of silence, his hand in yours as his thumb softly caresses your skin. “i fucking hated it.” 
“i know,” you chuckle out lightly, your eyes closed as you bury your face in his chest. “you’re soft now, though. i thought you were gonna cry or something.”
a deep chuckle leaves him before he lets out something between a growl and scoff, your loud giggles filling the room when he reaches over and grabs at your ticklish waist.
it’s the same giggles that fill the living room the next day when all the boys come over, san, jongho, and wooyoung nearly falling over in shock when you tell them the news. 
“you’re....pregnant? like... with a baby?” wooyoung asks, poking at your stomach roughly like it’s some foreign object.
“no, with a chicken,” yeosang snaps, pushing his friend back to halt him from touching you. “what kind of stupid fucking question is that?”
“i don’t know! i’m just shocked, okay!” 
a smile crosses your face as you hear the front door open, your eyes shifting to see seonghwa, mingi and yunho walking into the apartment. your smile widens upon seeing the boys, the two tallest ones bouncing over happily. 
mingi catches yeosang’s eyes and raises an eyebrow when he sees the boy throw him a dirty look, the dark-haired boy scoffing as they stare each other down.
“you still mad the doctor thought i was the daddy?” mingi growls lowly, a snort leaving you and yunho’s mouth as yeosang pushes at the taller boy and throws you a blank look.
“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to,” you tell him, accidentally letting it slip on your daily morning phone call with the boy. 
but it doesn’t stop mingi and yeosang from bickering further, your own form sauntering over to seonghwa and greeting him with a smile.
“hi.”
“hey,” seonghwa smiles, handsome as ever as he congratulates you softly. 
you weren’t surprised when yeosang told you he went there last night, the friendship between the boys something you’ve watched blossom into something remarkable.
it took you a while to get over the guilt of almost destroying it but now it all seemed like a distant memory. you and seonghwa had an unspoken love for one another but it wasn’t like the teenage, puppy type love you once had for one another.
it was more so one of a mutual respect. a genuine friendship where neither you, seonghwa or yeosang felt awkward or threatened by. 
but it’s upon listening to seonghwa talk softly to you that you notice a red mark on his face, your eyes squinting and hand reaching up to poke at a deep scratch across his face.
“seonghwa, oh my god,” you interrupt, yeosang’s head snapping to you before a guilty (but unapologetic) expression overcomes him. “what happened to your face?”
part 4
tag list: @mirror-juliet​ @toffee-hwa​ @valhoez​ @miatsubaki23​ @mydaintydaisy​ @treasure-hwa​ @khjssss [couldn’t tag :( ]
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bentforkent · 4 years
Text
to the moon and to saturn - chapter two
spencer reid x fem!reader
navigation and summary
there is a version of this story featuring my oc sara on my wattpad and ao3!
word count: 3,559
content warnings: alcohol mentions
previous chapter | next chapter 
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betty 
spencer has a recurring dream about her. in this dream, it’s y/n’s 18th birthday. his brain doesn’t know what she looks like past age seven, so dream-y/n has her youthful face on an adult body. her eyes crinkle at the edges when she smiles. she’s holding a birthday cake that’s covered in lit candles. there’s no indication that spencer baked the pink, sloppily-frosted cake, but in his dream, he knows he did. 
she holds the cake out towards him. “make a wish, spencer,” she says, her voice sounding far away and warbled. “it’s not my birthday, love,” he insists, swiping some of the frosting and brushing it across her cheek.
she grins and sets the cake down on the round table in front of her. “sure, but i want to share mine with you.” she pulls out a box, gift wrapped in bright yellow paper with a large blue bow on top. he always wakes up before he can ever open it. 
 he gets this dream once a month without fail. it’s pathetic, he thinks. he hasn’t even seen y/n in twenty years. he’s doesn’t even know her, to be frank. and yet he thinks about her constantly. he---and his therapist, of course---chalk this up to the abandonment he felt when she never came back. she didn’t even say goodbye. spencer thinks about this often, wondering if it was his fault. he wonders if any or all of the horrible things he’s been through have been his fault. his sick brain tells him yes, yes they are. 
 often, when spencer thinks of y/n, he imagines her in some incredible life. a spy, maybe. he knows it’s unlikely that she’s a princess or bank robber now, but he doesn’t put it past her. he doesn’t have enough memories of her, so every play-pretend game they played as children supplements what he knows about her, creating at least some whole adult person for him to fantasize about. she’s become almost a fictional character in the movie of his life. he wishes that they weren’t estranged, wishes that he could know the real y/n instead of whatever caricature of her he’s created. even if she actually was a bank robber. he just wants to know.
wait. he just wants to know. 
spencer is lounged on his couch, cardigan long tossed aside, tie long undone. he’s been home from work for a few hours now, an easy paperwork day cutting his day short. he takes half of a second to make his decision, then pulls out his phone.
 ------
“i need you to look someone up for me,” y/n says nonchalantly, flicking through a cheesy magazine. they’re laying on penelope’s bed, tv in the other room playing a rerun episode of “the office” just loud enough for them to hear. penelope has one hand in a bowl of popcorn, and one on her laptop scrolling mindlessly through some geeky website y/n can’t comprehend.
 y/n had seen spencer that evening on her way to penelope’s house. at least she thought she did. y/n was stopped at a red light, staring straight ahead at the crosswalk before her. living in a decently populated city, there were always fun characters crossing the street, and while y/n had once been in awe of the medley of people living in dc, she’d become used to it, and stopped paying attention. at red lights, she usually takes time to relax, letting her eyes glaze over before the switch to green and the restart of traffic. but before she could check out for her 15 seconds of a mental break, she saw a long haired figure hunched over a book, crossing the street directly in front of her car. 
granted, y/n hasn’t seen spencer in twenty years. she has no clue what he looks like nowadays, but everything from his ray bradbury book to his lanky frame to his beat up converse was familiar. her eyes clung to him, desperate to catch a glimpse of his face, but it never came. and y/n felt like she was going crazy. of all the places in the world, there’s no way that spencer reid’s life path had taken him all the way from nevada to the exact same city she lived in. 
but she didn’t have to wonder, or anxiously await the next time she saw the man by chance, because her best friend was a techy genius and no one could hide from her. y/n decided then, at that red light, that she’d ask penelope to find spencer, something she couldn’t even picture herself wanting just thirty seconds earlier.
y/n’s attempt at casually bringing the topic up is futile, because a.) penelope garcia is a very nosy woman, and b.)....penelope garcia is a very nosy woman. in all of the best ways. “who?” she inquires excitedly, halting all motion that could distract her from this very��important conversation. 
“it’s kind of a long story,” y/n says, closing her magazine and sitting up. she crosses her legs, a seating pose that indicates that she’s devoting everything to explaining this to penelope. “so, when i was really little, there was this boy…” 
and the suspense is killing penelope. y/n’s launched into this whole story about blanket forts, and being young, and blah blah blah whatever, but she’s not giving up her male protagonist’s name. penelope has her hands poised at her keyboard, ready to give y/n a location, occupation, and criminal record in less than 30 seconds, but she just needs to know his name. y/n talks, and talks, and talks, and penelope, as the good friend and listener she is, doesn’t interrupt once except to ask a question. 
(“so your mom was sleeping with his dad?”
 “yes! my own mother! i know, right?”)
y/n’s oblivious to the fact that penelope is on the edge of her seat, hanging on her every single word, just waiting, waiting, agonizingly waiting for a name. 
“once, i even put jell-o down a girl’s shirt for this kid,” y/n laughs. “it was cherry flavored, i’ll never forget. my first badass moment.” she stops her story with a shared chuckle, and a silence settles over the two women for a moment. 
“so, did you want me to find this prince charming, or…” penelope waggles her fingers over her keyboard as to emphasize her point.
“oh! yeah! his name is-----” 
penelope’s phone rings, and they let out a frustrated groan in unison. y/n flops back into her laying down position, knowing that when penelope’s phone rings, it almost never bodes well for wine nights.
 ----------
“garcia!” spencer greets as soon as she answers.
“as much as i’m excited to hear from my favorite doctor-profiler-boy-genius, i wonder to what do i owe this pleasure?” penelope glances over at y/n, who has already found her way back into her cosmopolitan magazine. 
 “hey, i was wondering if you could look someone up for me. i know technically it’s not ethical but---”
 “do you have a name for me, wonder boy?” penelope asks. she’s not waiting a second longer for him to spill, lest she gets trapped in yet another long-winded backstory. 
 “uh, yeah. y/n y/l/n. she---,” spencer speaks, and is immediately transferred to hold, with a short and excited “wait!” from garcia. sure, she feels bad for cutting him off twice now during the short span of their phone call, but this? this is major. 
 “y/n, tell me his name is spencer reid,” penelope says, voice coming out rushed and full of eagerness. 
 y/n’s eyes go wide. penelope was really good at her job. she got his name just from her little jell-o story? “yeah, it is, pen!” y/n laughs. “what’s he up to these days?”
 penelope covers the receiver of her phone even though spencer was on hold and couldn’t hear her anyways. “he’s on the phone with me! we work together! we’re like, super close! y/n!” penelope is emphasizing her words with crazy hand gestures, the clinking of her bracelets serving as enthusiastic punctuation.
y/n doesn’t really know how to respond to this information. “he’s FBI?” she asks, stupidly. 
“that is so far beyond the point!” penelope exclaims. “he’s the guy i was texting you about earlier today, the one i wanted to set you up with!”
y/n, with a big goofy grin on her face, tosses a piece of popcorn at her head, watching as it gets stuck in one of her ponytails. “take him off of hold, penny!” excitement courses through her veins. she had seen him earlier. what are the odds?
spencer paces anxiously in his apartment. she’d dead. y/n is dead, and garcia’s trying to find the best way to tell him. that’s why she put him on hold, he knows. there’s a crackle in the phone, and garcia’s voice rings through the speaker. “spencer?” she asks, making sure he’s still on the line. there’s giggling on her end, pulling him to the conclusion that whatever garcia was about to say, at least y/n’s not dead.
 “yeah, garcia?” spencer says, too on edge to say more than a few words at a time. 
 “i’ve got probably a million and one things to tell you about a certain y/n y/l/n,” garcia says, voice mischievous. on her end, there’s a squawk of protest followed by some shuffling. 
spencer waits patiently, and then garcia’s voice is back. “i’ve got her right here with me, actually.” 
 spencer, overwhelmed with nerves, hangs up immediately. 
 “he hung up!” penelope screams, and the two women burst into laughter. penelope’s hunched over at her laptop, cackling.
“i can’t believe he hung up,” y/n says through her fit of giggles.
“you have to come to our work get-together this weekend and see him, y/n. spencer’s hosting!” penelope says.
“he clearly doesn’t want to talk to me,” y/n says jokingly, and they laugh again. not at the boy, but at the scenario. “also, no! no ‘get-togethers.’ you know i don’t do parties.”
 ------
 y/n’s on her way to the party. it took all of 15 seconds for penelope to convince her to be her plus-one. all she had to do is say the words “casual” and “wine” and y/n was in. she tried to ignore the fact that it would just be penelope’s coworkers, one of them being her estranged best friend, and her. at spencer’s apartment, nonetheless. it was bound to be awkward, but y/n tried to focus less on that and more on how excited penelope was to introduce her to spencer. re-introduce her, rather. 
 penelope offered to drive y/n to alleviate some of her nerves, and y/n accepted graciously. neither one of them had talked about spencer since the phone call, except for penelope casually mentioning that spencer hadn’t brought up y/n to her at work at all. they’d all spent the week in limbo, then. the drive to spencer’s apartment is generally silent, penelope jumping in with words of affirmation every so often, if not to calm y/n then just to make her laugh. y/n’s leg bounces as she looks out of the window of penelope’s car. 
when they arrive, after penelope’s parked, she turns to y/n. “y/n. you are colorful, beautiful, perfect, and every other nice word i can think of. everything will be fine. but if, by some odd, unpredictable chance, everything is not fine, say the word and we will be out of there faster than you can say ‘penny.’” y/n pulls her into a tight hug, and penelope can feel her heart beating.
“what if he just tells me to, like, fuck off?” y/n murmurs.
“reid would never. he could never,” penelope says. with that reassurance, they get out of her car and head up to the party.
 -------
y/n stares at spencer’s front door as penelope knocks. the paint on it is chipping, she notes. spencer swings open the door and hoots erupt through the apartment. 
“garcia’s here!”
“hey, garcia!”
“babygirl!”
everyone’s calling for her, so she snakes past spencer and into his home with a pat on his chest. he’s stuck in the doorway and y/n’s stuck in the hall. neither of them know what to say to each other, so they’re sticking to intense eye contact and nervous foot shuffling. y/n’s here, at his apartment. he’s shocked. she’s real, she’s here, and here is his apartment.
 “you look the same,” they say at the same time, and then, at the absurdity of the situation, they laugh together. y/n, feeling empowered by the diffusion of the tension, wraps her arms around him in a hug. he’s broad, she notes. he hugs her tightly, holding on a second too long as compensation for the fact that he’d never know when their last hug had been their last. 
 “come in, come in,” spencer says. as he’s ushering her inside, hand against her lower back, he speaks again. y/n’s acutely aware of his coworkers eyes on her, but she’s distracted by his voice. “did you know that we begin to forget childhood memories while we’re in childhood still? younger children remember 60 percent of early life events, and that goes down by 20 percent in just a year or two.” 
 “hmm, so it’s weird that you remember me, then?” y/n teases as he hands her a glass of white wine.
“well, i don’t, really,” he admits, and y/n hums in agreement against the rim of her drink. 
penelope calls y/n over to where she’s sitting and introduces her to the team. y/n takes notes. penelope never really combines her work and her play, telling y/n it’s to keep her safe, so y/n revels in this insight into her best friend’s life.
 jj, the pretty blonde, seems to be the glue of the group, y/n judges. emily’s guarded, but fun, and y/n sees a lot of herself in her. derek is penelope’s favorite, y/n knows, and it’s not hard to figure out why. he’s attractive, but more than that, he’s charismatic and intelligent. y/n can’t get a good read on hotch, but she likes him well enough. rossi’s her favorite, though, his laidback, cool demeanor just mysterious enough to pique her curiosity. y/n greets everyone with a warm hello and a short introduction, and finds her place at penelope’s side.
she’s out of place for sure, but the team tries their hardest to include her. they’ve got great chemistry as a group, and y/n wins their favor when she cracks a dry joke that gets everyone laughing. she can feel spencer’s eyes on her the whole night, but she doesn’t indulge him by looking back. she’s too nervous. he keeps her glass filled all night, a gracious host, and when she thanks him each time he gives her a shaky smile. he’s nervous too, she realizes.
 when people start filtering out, y/n realizes she’d hardly spoken to spencer all night, save for some light small talk with others. she’d really like to get him alone, but she doesn’t want to overstep. spencer looks at her intently when she stands to leave with garcia. he wants to get her alone, but he doesn’t want to overstep. be bold, spencer, he thinks. it’s just y/n. but it’s not just y/n anymore. they aren’t kids anymore, blindly bonded to one another out of convenience. there’s nothing tying them together anymore except for some flimsy memories, and this scares spencer. y/n’s also insanely beautiful. this adds to his nerves. it’s not too often he has a pretty girl in his apartment alone.
 “you can stay longer if you want, y/n. i’ll drive you home,” spencer says, his words surprising even himself. his eyebrows furrow and y/n wants to smooth the crease in his forehead with her thumb. 
“okay,” she says softly, turning to penelope. “i’ll see you tomorrow, pen?” they embrace, and penelope says her bright goodbyes. when she leaves, y/n leans against the closed front door, staring at spencer expectantly. 
“do you want another drink?” he asks her, unsure of what to do with his hands. 
“no, i think i’m sufficiently tipsy-adjacent,” y/n jokes, placing her hands decidedly on spencer’s shoulders. “i think you and i should talk.” 
“yeah,” spencer replies, his amber eyes searching hers. “we can sit outside.” he leads her to his balcony, and takes a seat on his outdoor couch. 
“it looks like it might rain,” y/n says lamely, sitting next to him, close enough for their thighs to touch.
“did you know women are more likely to give a man their phone number on a sunny day rather than a cloudy one? there’s only a 14% success rate when it’s rainy, as opposed to a 22% success rate when the sun’s out.”
“that’s interesting, spencer. were you planning on asking for my number?” y/n asks jokingly. spencer flushes at the question, stammering a defense. “just kidding. you sure do know a lot of stuff, don’t you?”
“sure,” he says with a bite of his lip. “i have three phds. what i don’t know, though, is where you went when you left vegas. or why you left vegas. or…”
“or why i didn’t tell you i was leaving?” y/n finishes for him. he gives a small nod, embarrassed to admit how much it affected him, and y/n frowns. she lays the palm of her hand against his face, rubbing her thumb against his cheekbone. spencer’s taken aback by the affectionate action, but leans into her touch anyways. y/n holds that position for a minute, surveying his features. she’s not ready to tell him the story, honestly. it’s humiliating. save from the fact that her mom essentially ruined his parents’ marriage; she didn’t know the nature of spencer’s relationship with his father now. for all she knows, it’d done a complete 180 in the past 20 years, and she’d ruin everything with her anecdote. no, she couldn’t risk this. spencer looked too pretty under the moonlight, was too nice to her tonight.
“would you be mad if i didn’t want to talk about that yet?” she asks, tracing her finger down the bridge of his nose. spencer feels a little relieved by this. he’s prepared for that conversation to be a heavy one, prepared for her to say she left because of him. because he wasn’t good enough for her. he doesn’t think he can handle that confirmation tonight, so he welcomes the change in subject. 
“can we just...start over?” spencer says.
 y/n nods. “hi, i’m y/n,” she holds her hand out to shake, finally removing it from against his face. spencer takes it with a small smile. 
“i’m spencer,” he replies. they sit in silence for a while, watching the stars. the moment is long, but it feels like they’re suspended in time. like the cars and people underneath them have come to a standstill. spencer reckons y/n’s always had that effect on him, but the hustle of the city disappearing around him makes it much more pronounced.  spencer steals a quick glance at her. she looks so serene. he wonders if she’s thinking as much as he is, or if she’s simply appreciating the city sounds and night air. 
“are you thinking as much as i am?” y/n pipes up, breaking the silence. 
spencer shakes his head incredulously with a chuckle. “you took the words right out of my mouth.” 
y/n turns to face him, pulling her knees to her chest. “tell me a story. like you used to.” when spencer’s gaze meets hers, y/n’s hand moves to tuck a piece of his hair behind his ear, the movement nearly involuntary. there’s a low rumble of thunder, but it sounds far away. 
“okay,” spencer says, neither one of them breaking eye contact. he remembers her eyes being much more vibrant, but he likes the true hue better. and whenever she thought of him, y/n had always imagined glasses, like when he was a child, but being able to see his face clearly is so much better. 
“actually,” y/n starts. she finishes her statement by pressing her lips against spencer’s firmly. he threads his hands through her hair and pulls her closer to him, letting out a soft moan. the kiss is passionate, but not lustful. it’s gentle and full of energy. y/n nips at spencer’s bottom lip. he tastes like sangria. his hand travels to the side of her face, thumb rubbing against her cheek slowly. he kisses her like she's oxygen and he’s never had a breath of fresh air in his life. 
after a minute, y/n pulls away slowly, resting her forehead on his. “okay, now you can tell me a story.” 
spencer presses another chaste kiss to the corner of her mouth. “how do you expect me to remember anything right now?” 
y/n grins, pulling away from their intimate position and turning to face the stars. “i can wait. i’ve got all night.” 
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alleycat97 · 3 years
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Slippery Slopes Pt.2
Part two y’all! Sorry it’s late, I’ve been busy. Should be one more part to finish this up!
Tag list: @samanthadalton @fundamentalromantic @avalawrencefl @penda-bear @queen-arabella-of-cordonia @kamilahsayeet2063
It had been an interesting 24 hours since the accident on the slopes yesterday. No word had been passed on about Emma and that left her suitors restless. Mason couldn’t cope with the fact that his father or ex best friend had committed such a cruel act that hurt Emma.
Noah couldn’t believe he was even in this situation. He should have never trusted Jennings but he let his guard down for the sake of the trip and Emma, and this is what he got. He was looking at charges for trespassing and endangerment while Principal Jennings seemed to be clearing his name.
Mack couldn’t stop pacing, Dr. Price was doing an awful job of updating his own daughter on her sisters progress. Ava wasn’t fairing much better. She had organized their room over and over trying to make sure it’s perfect for when Emma came back to the lodge.
It was just a sit tight and stand ready type of situation. None of them had a personal car available, so trapped at the lodge they were.
Ava stopped her cleaning when she heard a cellphone go off, to no surprise it was hers and the caller was Bayla. She grumbled and put the phone back down, she had called 4 times already today. Ava couldn’t bring herself to talk to her girlfriend knowing Emma was hurt in the hospital. She would sound weak, vulnerable, all red flags Bayla didn’t need right now.
Another call rang out across the house, this time it was Mack’s phone, and judging by her facial reactions, it was with her father. Mack nodded enthusiastically and ended the call, yelling out to find Mason.
“Emma is ready to come back here, dad said she will be ok, we need to go and pick her up. Spare keys are in his room, I’ll grab them and we can go.”
“What all was wrong?” Ava rushed out of the room and into the foyer.
“He didn’t say. I guess we will know when we all get back.” Mack said noticing the gloom placed on Ava’s features. “She’s gonna be alright.”
Ava went and tidied up the room once more and without knowing what Emma would require, she just cluttered the entire nightstand with odd and ends eliminating the guessing.
The front door slamming was her queue to come running, she leaned over the balcony railing only to see Jennings and Noah.
“I don’t know how you got those signs in my bag old man, but this isn’t over.” Noah hissed shoving his way past Principal Jennings.
“Maybe you should think twice before doing illegal activities. You’re never going to learn trailer trash.” Jennings barked stopping Noah dead in his tracks.
Jennings was an asshole. This dude seemed to get off on making teenagers lives miserable. The tension was unbearable.
“I know you knew about the course being closed. I just can’t figure out why you’d try to hurt Emma. You’re a sick bastard and if I go down, you’re coming with me.” Noah said inching up into Jennings face.
The scene was split up when Mack came through the door. Mason in tow pushing an unconscious Emma in a wheelchair. She had a cast on her leg and looked so cold. Dave brought up the rear looking like hell. Looks like sleep wasn't an option for him either.
“Ah yes there she is. How did everything go?” Jennings asked unfazed of what transpired.
Mason ignored him and tried to walk past to the staircase with Emma sleeping.
“I said how did everything go?” Jennings said jerking Mason back almost causing him to fall. Noah shoved Jennings aside helping to stabilize Mason so Emma wouldn’t fall out of the chair.
“Ask Mr. Price dad! Let go of me, Emma needs to be in bed!” Mason snapped shoving his fathers hands away from him.
Jennings jumped at the outburst and gritted his teeth, turning to Dave. “Let’s talk in the kitchen, I’ll have the Chef whip up some coffee.”
With the adults gone and the room de-stressed, Noah assisted Mason in carrying Emma up to her room, Ava steering clear of them until Emma was placed in bed.
“Ok boys thank you. I can handle her from here.” Ava shot out shoving them aside to check on Emma.
The boys looked to each other confused but didn’t say anything about the outburst. Mason needed his own rest and Noah had a busy day ahead of him with Jennings and the ski patrol assholes.
“Just let us know when she wakes alright? Mr. Price has her medicine.” Mason said closing the door leaving Ava alone with a sleeping Emma.
Ava had no clue why she wanted the privacy with Emma. She was a taken woman and Emma was her bestie. Nothing else, she tried to convince herself.
But the longer she sat and stared at Emma, the more her heart pounded, the more she wanted to wake her and kiss her all better. The thoughts of such activities made her dizzy and she had to get away. But it was Emma, she had this way of keeping her grounded and for the life of her, Ava couldn’t drag herself away.
So she continued to sit in silence, begging for Emma to wake up, because quite frankly? She didn’t look too well.
Ava easily got up and slipped out of the room and looked for Mr. Price. She heard some quiet commotion from the kitchen, what a shock.
“Now you listen here Jim, I don’t know how it happened, all I know is my little girl just underwent a major leg surgery after she took place in your little race.”
“Now I know how it looks Dave, I’m quite sorry that it happened, but Mr. Harris is the culprit here. I should have known not to place trust in him. What a terrible thing, taking down those signs.”
Noah heard his name and flew into the kitchen,
“I told you Jennings! I didn’t take down any signs!”
“Quiet scum! Adults are talking here! Don’t you have a meeting with the ski patrol?” Jim teased.
“I don’t know how you twisted this on me, but I’ll get you back.” Noah inched closer so only Jennings could here, “Maybe I should call off our deal?”
Whatever was said, Jennings went pale and cleared his throat. Removing himself from the conversation.
“Mr. Price?” Ava said entering the room. “Emma is still asleep. And she’s so pale, she looks sick.”
“I feared that. It’s her medication, she should be awake anytime now for another dose. Here, please give her one of these when she awakes. I’m going to get some rest.” Mr. Price said handing over the medicine.
Ava returned to the room with the meds and hot tea to find Emma slowly awaking.
“Hello sleepy head.” Ava rushed over with a smile.
“Where am I?” Emma groggily spoke out.
“Back in the bedroom with good ol me.”
Emma rubbed at her eyes trying to get them to open, “Are you an angel?”
Ava snorted, “Oh now you wanna shoot your shot huh.”
“Worth a try.” Emma laughed. “I feel terrible.”
“You look it.” Ava agreed dodging the pillow Emma tossed.
“Here Mahomes, here’s your pill and I made your favorite tea.” Ava giggled as she sat down next to Emma to help her take the meds and give her a sip of tea.
“Psh, Mahomes wishes he had this cannon for an arm.” Emma tried laughing but she done exhausted herself.
“Relax, you just underwent surgery. I’m actually impressed they released you so quickly.”
“Perks of having a doctor for a dad. I’m not about that hospital food.”
The two sat in silence for a moment while Emma sipped her tea. It was so nice just the two of them, Ava had Emma all to herself, no intruders, no boys, and no Bayla. Crap....Bayla was still her girlfriend.
Ava came to and realized she was stroking Emma’s delicate hair, resting her hand on Emma’s soft cheek. She quickly composed herself and stood abruptly, creating as much distance as possible.
What was this? What were they? Friends? More than friends? Ava knew what the answer should be, but the timing was terrible. Bayla was her own girlfriend, and Emma had her own issues.
A text shot through to Ava’s phone, it was Bayla. “Speak of the devil.” Ava whispered. She had been putting her off for long enough and by judging by the text she received, Bayla wasn’t happy.
“Ava?” Emma called out oblivious to Ava’s aggressive texting.
Ava turned immediately to face her, “Yeah?”
“Where are the boys?”
Ava doesn’t know why, but with her issues with Bayla and her feelings for Emma, hearing her ask for the boys really added fuel to her blazing fire.
“Idk. Mason is resting and Noah and Jennings are with the ski patrol.”
Emma could hear the aggression in Ava’s voice, but she couldn’t tell if it was at her texting or towards her about her question.
“Is everything alright Ava?”
“Yeah. It’s just Bayla. She’s bugging me because I haven’t responded in awhile.”
“Oh. I wonder what has her in a twist.” Emma asked innocently.
Ava knew why. She told Bayla before she left the arrangement, so naturally she had to keep tabs on her at all times. Trust between the two were slipping, but Ava wasn’t helping her cause and Emma wasn’t either. “Because that’s what a good girlfriend does!” Ava snapped surprising Emma. “She’s just concerned!”
“Oh. I understand, I’m sorry.” Emma apologized.
“No Emma you don’t! You don’t understand and you never will!” Ava said slamming her phone down on the counter and stomping towards the door.
Something told Emma deep within this was more than just Bayla being worried, she couldn’t help but think this was all her fault and the reason Ava was upset.
Ava had to get out and breathe, she loved Emma, but she couldn’t take her indecisiveness. She couldn’t stand competing for her hand any longer, it was time to set the record straight. She stepped back in to grab her phone before heading back out again.
“Where are you going?” Emma tried.
“I’ve got a phone call to make.”
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nooneandeveryone · 3 years
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Let's talk a minute about the difficulty I have with self-promotion. Now, those of you I have on discord or have been following me more than a year, will not be surprised by any of this.
So, I have a half-sister that is 14 years older than me. She's very unstable and for lack of a better word, narcissistic. This doesn't go into her full list of mental disorders but it gives you what you need to know. She lived at home and is still living there. I moved out. The youngest, the disabled one.
While we lived under the same roof, she seemed to go out of her way to find reasons to be mad at me. For example, she screamed at me for taking too long in the shower then turned around and mocked my personal hygiene. She would lose her mind if I moved something of hers a few feet. Let's say her shoes were left by the couch where I tripped on them, moving them to the shoe rack would spark rage. Then when I left my shoes by the couch I got yelled at, complete with slamming doors.
There was a brief period, when I was 8 until I was 12, she did not live there. It was a glorious time. While mom would get annoyed at me for leaving a mess somewhere, she'd also apologize for leaving her own mess - like what I think a normal person would do. I have a lot of good memories from when it was just me and mom. Now, you may ask, why didn't our mom prevent the abuses I received from my sister. Mom was working. The best she could do was get me set up at daycare until she was home at work at 6pm. That still left the weekends and days I was home sick. I was home sick a lot. Grandma would also step in by having me over to her house after school. My dad stepped in when he lived a couple blocks from my school - i went to his house instead of riding the bus the 15 miles to mom's.
The fact of the matter is, sometimes it doesn't matter how long you've been exposed to the abusive person. If it's at a young age, it embeds itself deeply. That's why I still have scars from kindergarden. The scars from my sister are more complex, much like that of an abusive parent. Again, 14 years older than me. I was told to listen to adults which is what she was for the majority of my childhood. I do still harbor some positive feelings in regards to her, but they are vastly outweighed by the negative. I would not categorize it as harboring love. Mild affection at best. She did do the typical 'buying me off' that abusive people do. So, I don't know if I trust those positive feelings at all. I think the only thing I got from her that I treasure is knowledge.
So what does that have to do with self-promotion?
When you're made to feel guilty for simply existing, it is very, very, very hard to self-advocate. I am worlds better than I was just ten years ago but I still clench up a little just by hitting "reblog" on my own thing. I've developed the unfortunate habit of doing the bare minimum and hoping people notice. Then when I push myself to do more, I only feel disappointed - regardless of its success. I spent a lot of my childhood trying to impress a sister I looked up to; who happened to hate my very existence. I associate trying harder with being ignored.
Why has all this even come up? Besides the fact I would love more art requests, it's because of my birthday. Let's just say it "triggered" her. She can't stand that I've moved on. That I'm sitting here being happy with a mundane life (since it is the only one I can have with my disabilities.). I have coped. I've learned through our mom that she is been very dramatic about missing my birthday and not giving me a gift. She has a bit of a persecution complex. Going on and on about how I must hate her. Like, bitch, yes, I hate you but not for this. I got a list of other more lasting reasons. One of those reasons is she's stilling making our mom put up with her shit. There are complicated reasons mom will never kick her out, I don't agree with them but I respect the decision. Y'know, like a person should.
That's what it really comes down to, a lack of reciprocated respect.
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twoidiotwriters1 · 3 years
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Written In The Stars CXXIII (Harry Potter xF!Oc)
A/N: :)
Words: 4,134
Series’ Masterlist
Previous Chapter // Next Chapter
Listen to: ‘You’re Somebody Else’ -by flora cash
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Chapter Twenty-One: Flint's Rescue.
Harry avoided them for the rest of the day and the majority of the next. She didn't need to have a special connection to know he was scared to come down.
She'd tried to look for him in his room and instead only found Phineas, who asked her about Harry and whether he was still in the house or not.
She figured it was Dumbledore the one who was asking, so she told him Harry was still there, and that they were all safe.
Hermione arrived in the evening. She walked into the house with the air of a girl on a mission, Mel told her where Harry was and Hermione decided to try and convince him to get out. She tried to take Mel with her, but the girl refused, instead, she made her way to the twins' bedroom.
She didn't know what Hermione, Ginny, and Ron told him, but it had been enough to put him back on track. After that, Harry was better. Unfortunately -and very much expected from her- he would still do his best to avoid her. This, however, turned into a secondary annoyance the morning of their sixth day in Sirius' house.
Mel walked into the kitchen to the usual sight of Emily and Sirius talking under their breath. Mel -and everyone else in the house- was well aware of the fact that Emily and Sirius were now sharing a bedroom.
Her mother wasn't leaving the house at all for some reason, she thought that was due to the fact that people had seen her with Sirius at the train station and now she was a new target to follow. Still, they couldn't deny the fact that they were acting odd.
Mel entered the kitchen with loud steps and humming a lullaby. The adults turned quickly and faced her.
"You've got a letter," Emily told her, handing her a thin envelope.
Mel read the smeared words on the back of it.
"It's Erick's!"
Her mother sighed. "Poor thing, he must be feeling lonely..."
She turned to look at Sirius and told him about Erick's grandad. Sirius was genuinely upset by the news.
"I knew Eliot Flint," He said. "He was friend's with my uncle Alphard! I met him once or twice... great bloke..."
"Erick reminds me of you, you know?" Emily smiled absently. "A good boy with very particular relatives... When I met him he looked terrified to be near me! I guess he was afraid I was going to ruin his cover—"
Mel stood up so abruptly her chair fell, one hand was covering her mouth in shock as the other held onto the letter with trembling fingers.
"Mel," Emily's smile faded. "What is it?"
"E-Erick ran... he ran away," She stammered. "Last night, he... he sent me this last night."
"Ran away?" Emily asked. "Why?"
"They found out," Mel said urgently. "Look!"
It was short, the handwriting was shaky and not at all like the usual perfect works Erick used to deliver. Even his notes were neater than this. What scared her the most, was the tiny bloodstains on the corner.
'My parents know. Left when everyone went to bed. Currently staying at the leaky cauldron but I'll leave tomorrow. I won't go back to Hogwarts. DO NOT TRY TO FIND ME.'
"He knows that I'll try to find him, right?" Mel asked in disbelief. "I can't leave him!"
"Calm down—"
"I won't leave him alone," The girl walked to the kitchen entrance. "Not again..."
Emily rushed to her side, grabbing her wrist.
"You're not going anywhere."
"Mum, he's leaving. With no money. The world's not safe right now, let alone for someone with no family! What if he runs into a death eater, what if they find out he was helping us?"
Mel started to feel herself shaking, her hands were like ice even though it wasn't particularly cold in the kitchen. She was on the verge of losing it again. Just when she was slipping, Sirius spoke.
"She's right."
Emily looked at him.
"What?"
"We made him part of this. He ran out of his home to protect the Order, this is on us," Sirius walked up to her. "Get Lupin. We can't distract the others with this but we won't leave this boy alone."
"What are you saying, Sirius?" Emily frowned.
"He's just a kid," Sirius insisted. "Not older than my brother when he joined the death eaters. I won't let it happen again..."
"He would never join the death eaters!" Mel argued.
"I'm just saying I won't turn my back on him," Sirius shook his head. "I've heard enough about him from you and Emily to know he can be trusted. I'm sure Lupin would agree. Mily..."
"I'm on it," Emily grabbed the floo powder and threw it into the fireplace. It lit up instantly.
"What's happening?" George walked in, Fred beside him. They still had sleepy expressions.
"Erick ran away," Mel showed them the letter anxiously. "His parents found out..."
"Lupin," She heard her mother say from the fireplace, half of her body was surrounded by flames as she kneeled there. Sirius made a sudden movement, but he stayed in place when he noticed Mel was staring at him.
"What is it, Mel?" He asked.
"I don't want to risk my uncle and my mother... they'd be on their own..."
"No, they wouldn't," Fred said. "Erick's helped us before and we're of age now, right George?"
"Sure thing," He nodded, his drowsiness going away. "Don't worry, Lady. We'll go. We owe it to him."
"But your mum—"
"Mum's with Dad," Fred said. "As long as we get back before she comes back, she won't know."
"I certainly can't stop you from going, boys, but are you sure—?"
"We're certain," replied the twins.
Twenty dreadful minutes passed in which Mel watched Emily and the twins got ready to leave. Lupin entered the house five minutes before they were set to go.
"Guys," Mel said with a hint of bashfulness. "I don't even know what to say... if Erick refuses to come..."
"We'll petrify him and we'll carry him all the way back," George replied.
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Five minutes after the twins, Emily and Lupin left, Ginny and Hermione appeared.
"What's with the long faces?" Ginny frowned. "Is Dad okay?"
Mel explained everything to them shortly while Sirius made breakfast, then Ron and Harry came in, and she had to start over. When she finished the girls were looking as anxious as her, and Ron was worried for his brothers. Harry, on the other hand, was glaring at his plate.
"It's been three hours... it's almost lunchtime," Hermione said worryingly. "If Mrs Weasley comes back and the twins aren't here..."
"I'll take the blame," Sirius said. "If it weren't because of my bloody record I'd be able to leave— but I was foolish once, and it cost me a lifetime..."
He sounded so angry about it that no one knew how to respond to that. Suddenly, a light silver mist flew in and stopped right in front of Mel. It was her mother's Patronus, and it talked with the woman's voice.
'We'll be there in five minutes.'
"Wait," Mel said once the Patronus faded. "How are they going to let him in if Dumbledore didn't show him the place?"
"The piece of paper where he wrote the address for Harry," Sirius explained. "Emily had it in our room. For emergencies like this. Not that she'd been expecting this to happen, but that woman's instincts are like no others."
"That's brilliant."
"I want to meet that Flint boy, you know?" Sirius said, a bit more relaxed. "The way you talk about him... he reminds me of my brother..."
Harry stood up without finishing his breakfast. The others didn't notice since they were all anxiously waiting for their loved ones to come back. Mel did though, and the worry that so far had occupied a back room in her mind rose up from the shadows. She got up as well and followed him into the drawing-room.
"What is it?"
Harry turned around.
"What?"
"You're upset," She insisted. "I already let Hermione and the others take care of the first wave, it's my turn."
He frowned. "You make it sound like I'm always attacking people."
Mel raised a brow, Harry rolled his eyes and turned back around, walking away from her.
"You either tell me what's going on inside your big head or I'll force it out myself," She insisted, quickly catching up with him.
Harry stopped so abruptly to face her that she stumbled over her feet.
"Legilimency is magic, and last I checked you're still underage," He stated. "Why do you care? Aren't you waiting for Flint? Bet he's having a dreadful day..."
She would've ignored his comment hadn't been for the heavy sarcasm in his voice.
"Is this about Flint?" Mel frowned. "You're angry because they're helping him?"
"You're risking people's lives for this," Harry reprimanded. "Erick said he was fine. He's clever and he's almost of age—"
"I still worry about him!"
"Yeah," He replied louder. "You worry a lot about him— More than you ever worried about yourself!"
Mel stood there, dumbfounded at his statement.
"How would you even know that? You haven't spoken to me in months," She responded.
The girl stepped forward so menacingly it was Harry's turn to stumble back.
"How dare you stand there and say that?" She scowled. "As if you actually care— You never had a thing against my ways when it was you the one who I was saving—"
"You said you never did that for me," He was quick to reply.
"I lied! I clearly lied, Harry! Why else would I risk my life if not for you? You were my best friend!" She poked his chest with one finger as hard as she could. "I knew you would torture yourself if I were to put all that on you, that you were going to try and stop me if you thought I was doing it only to help you!"
"You lied about that and you lied about not liking Fred, and before that, you hid Erick from me," He said, pushing her hand away in anger. "If you'd cared, then you would've been honest!"
"I had to hold my tongue around you every day! I was so sick of not being honest! Yes, that was such a stupid thing to do, look where it took us! I'm the biggest liar and you're... We can't even look at each other now, can we?"
There was a murderous glint in his gaze, not towards her, but simply existing within his very own essence. She'd seen it before but had refused to admit it until now. That nasty darkness in Harry appeared ever since he'd come back from the maze, it had been present when he pushed her out of his life, and it had been present in every single one of their arguments. Only then, she dared to admit she had her own thing hidden inside her too.
Hate. Pure and blinding. Having no way to release it, they poured it into themselves in different ways. Mel erased the old self she'd abandoned the day they broke apart, convinced that she was a new version with no trauma. It had been working so far, but only in the moments where Harry wasn't present.
As for Harry, his own hatred would burst when least expected, anytime someone would remind him of his past mistakes, that he was nowhere near enough to be of use. Mel was a constant reminder of both even if she wasn't aware of it. Harry regretted leaving her as soon as he did it, but he tried to convince himself that it was for the best, that she was going to be okay. She had to be.
When he found out he was wrong, all fell apart. What was he, compared to a Dumbledore? What was he doing with his second chance, compared to every single thing Mel had done in a year?
As they stood there, Mel and Harry felt like complete strangers. Now she could see him as he was, just like he could see her, all flaws and shortcomings, but they no longer understood. No words were enough. They were attached to each other, yes, but attachment isn't love, and it isn't caring.
"They're here!" Hermione yelled from the kitchen.
Mel realized it was likely that everyone had listened to their argument, but she didn't care anymore. Maybe this way they would finally stop pestering. No more questions about her and Harry.
"You should go and welcome your friend," He was cold, talking as if nothing of what she'd said was any relevant. "He needs you more than I do."
He left her there, all alone in the room before Hermione called a second time. Then she gathered herself up and controlled her breathing, she had this. She could do it.
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The twins looked okay, so she wondered what had taken them so long.
"This stubborn git, that's what slowed us down," George rolled his eyes. "At first he was pissed about you sending us to get him, but Emily told him it wasn't your idea, that we were there because it was the right thing to do."
"Then he said this wasn't our problem and that we had to leave."
"So Fred and I kicked the door open and forced him to listen."
"How did you find which room was his?"
"We bribed one of the maids," Fred smirked. "She knew right away who we were looking for, 'tall boy from around your age looking like pulp?'"
"Looking like pulp?" Mel asked in alarm.
She pushed them aside and stood next to her mother and Lupin.
"Merlin..." Mel gasped as soon as she saw Erick's face. "What happened?"
"Miss," He tilted his head a bit so he could look at her. "There you are. I was wondering when were you going to stomp into the room, but I suppose you finally learned to be quiet..."
"You're upset," Mel sighed. "I don't regret telling my mum you were in trouble. Look at your face!"
"You should've seen how my father's knuckles looked after the beating," He said cynically. "They were the real victims..."
Erick wasn't as beaten as to look like 'pulp' but his father had certainly tried to. He had dry blood under his nose. It looked okay now, only the faintest bruise on the bridge, which made her think that his father probably broke it and her mother or Lupin had fixed it. He had scratches all over, later she would find out that his left eye was looking much worse when they found him, but Fred and George fixed it right before leaving the leaky cauldron.
His hands also looked as if he'd spent an awful lot of time climbing, they had a few blisters, but Emily was taking care of them now.
"It's not funny," Mel scowled. "Your father's an animal."
"Well, luckily for me I no longer have a dad," Erick said casually, grimacing when Emily poured a liquid on his palm. "I've been trying to quit the family for years... did me a favour, really."
"We'll take your stuff upstairs," Fred walked up to them, putting a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "Sirius, where should we leave them?"
"My brother's room," The man said immediately. "Is it just the trunk?"
"Not like I could carry all my stuff as I climbed out the window," The Slytherin scoffed. "Almost died trying to push that out... Mrs Sultens, I'm fine, please..."
"I told you to call me Emily," She said sternly, holding his shoulder to keep him in place. "And stop saying you're okay. You're not."
Sirius and the twins left so they could take Erick's stuff to Regulus' room and perhaps clean it a bit. Now only the girls, Emily and Lupin remained.
"Mel," Her uncle called. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"
She didn't want to leave Erick in a room full of strangers, but the way her uncle was looking at her cause her to move forward, leaving the kitchen.
"He looks much better now," He said gravely. "But he didn't want to tell us what his father found out... said he took care of it. Maybe he's afraid to tell us what information slipped out. Maybe if you try..."
"I'll talk to him," Mel accepted. "But I don't think it's anything serious... if it were something of interest he would've told you. He wouldn't have cared about ruining his reputation. Erick knows how important it is to keep secrets... well, a secret."
"If it turns out you're right then you don't have to tell us," Lupin assured her. "But we have to be sure, alright?"
"Yes," She nodded, then stopped her uncle before he could leave. "Thank you. I know you have more important things to do. Thank you for bringing him here."
Lupin put a hand on her shoulder and brought her closer.
"I still remember Erick from the time I was your teacher, I wasn't going to leave him on his own. Especially now, the wrong turn can take you to the worst places..."
"The full moon is in a week," She held onto him tightly. "And I know you don't have the potion anymore... What are you going to do?"
"I'll manage," He responded.
Lupin guided her back to the kitchen as Ginny quickly left the room, Mel heard the sound of footsteps in the main hall. Ginny probably had gone over to her mother to explain Erick's arrival.
Hermione was now near the stove, waiting for the kettle to start whistling, and she was doing her best to make a sandwich, though she seemed too nervous to get it right.
"Let me help you, Hermione," Lupin said.
Mel made a beeline to where Erick and her mother were, she heard Erick's quiet objections as he tried to make Emily stop, but it was useless.
"I'm almost done, kid!" Her mother scowled. "And stop calling me 'Mrs' or I'll give you a black eye to match your nose!"
Mel snorted.
"He keeps calling me 'Miss' even though we've been friends for almost five years. You're asking for too much, Mum."
"Fine!" He rolled his eyes. "If you really want me to... thank you for the help, Emily."
Mel's mother smiled. "No problem, kid."
"And you too, Mel."
The girl beamed as well, holding his hand and patting it gently.
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Erick kinda vanished after dinner. Everyone treated him like he'd always been there, even Ginny, who had never spoken to him, acted as if it was no big deal. The only person who acted hostile towards him was Harry, but she pretended not to notice.
Mel followed the directions in which Sirius told her the boy had gone, and soon enough she was entering Buckbeak's layer, her eyes immediately falling on the figure next to the Hippogriff.
"You know they gave you your own room, right?" She teased. "This is Buckbeak's flat, he's the only single hippogriff in miles so he's quite popular, we're not allowed in here during the weekends because he's always hosting parties..."
Erick was absently stroking the creature's beak, he didn't even react to her jokes.
"I always liked him," He said quietly. "When Hagrid showed them to us in my fourth year I was... dunno, I just like how they look."
"They're wonderful," She agreed sitting beside him. "They also have the temper of conceited royalty... maybe you like them because you relate to that!"
"You're funny," He said with no enthusiasm. "Maybe I'll hire you to be the court jester in my kingdom."
"I do love making people laugh," She nudged his side playfully, but Erick merely acknowledged her touch. "...are you going to tell me what happened?"
Erick looked at her out of the corner of his eye.
"Are you going to tell me what happened between you and Harry?"
"Yes."
Erick scoffed, not believing her.
"I mean it," Mel said. "If you tell me what happened, I'll tell you everything."
The boy hesitated for a moment, then gave in.
"I was stupid," He leaned back on the wall and uncrossed his legs. "I was re-reading one of Anne's letters... I do that sometimes, don't you dare laugh at me—"
"I wasn't going to!"
"Just making sure," He continued. "Mum asked me to run an errand, so I left... but I guess I didn't put the board back on the floor properly, or my brother finally gathered enough brains to do something right... He came back from work while I was out, wanted to annoy me no doubt, I don't see why else would he want to go to my room..."
As he talked Erick gently ran his thumb over the cut on his chin, it didn't look swollen and was the last remnant of the beating his father gave him. Which was a good thing, really. Mel didn't want him to spend the holidays watching the mirror and remembering that disastrous night.
"When I came back my mother was holding Anne's letter... fortunately I burn the Order's messages as I finish reading them, but Marcus had this nasty grin on his face, and mother was saying how embarrassing it was, how she'd trusted me... which is a lie, really, but then my Dad came home..."
Erick tensed, doing everything in his power to suppress the shiver that wanted to run down his back.
"I always knew my dad was a prat, but I never expected him to be a violent one. I suppose that was better than him using magic to punish me. I'm sure he would've tried to do so next morning, but that night he was so angry he forgot about his wand, he just threw me out of the chair and... did his best."
He looked up to her and frowned.
"Don't pity me. I didn't defend myself because I'm not seventeen, I didn't want to get expelled... though now that I think about it that doesn't matter now... I couldn't move and I figured... well, he had to stop at some point, he would get tired eventually..."
"What about Anne?" Mel asked. "Are they going to look for her?"
"He threatened to go knocking door to door, he said he wouldn't care and he would force me to watch as he..." The boy clenched his jaw. "But I'm gone now, and my parents care more about what others think than they care about muggles. They'll pretend, I don't know— That I changed schools, or that I'm ill... Anything before admitting their son was friends with a muggle."
"We thought they had found out about the Order..."
"Yeah, I figured as soon as your mum and uncle appeared... The twins were an odd surprise, they were the last people I expected to see coming to my rescue."
"They said your grandad helped them a great deal, so they wanted to pay back somehow."
"It's not like he'll know," Erick frowned. "He's dead."
"Maybe... maybe he does," Mel tried, but Erick let out a dry laugh at her comment.
"Don't tell me you believe in that nonsense," He replied. "He's not in heaven, and he's certainly not looking down on me; if he were I—" He forced the words to leave his mouth. "I wouldn't have gone through any of this. I didn't deserve it."
"Maybe he's the reason why you're here," She offered. "Maybe he knew it was time to get you out of there—"
"And he couldn't find a better way than to have my dad trying to kill me?" He snapped. "He couldn't find a way to make sure Anne was safe, after all I did to try and keep her away from all this? He couldn't..." Erick's voice died, his breathing uneven. He tried again. "Couldn't he wait until I was home so I could say goodbye?"
For the first time ever, Erick didn't push her away when she hugged him or tried to pretend he wasn't okay with it. He hid his face between his knees and sobbed, she'd never heard anyone cry like this before.
It hurt her in a way she didn't know she was capable of feeling, and part of her wanted to cry too, but now was not the time. Mel wondered if Erick would feel ashamed after this; if he would try to pretend that night never happened and keep up his cold demeanour even higher and stronger than before.
"It's okay," She said, lovingly running her hand through his curls. "We're going to be okay..."
For the first time in months, she meant it.
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Taglist.
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asterekmess · 4 years
Text
S3A - E7
So, I’m starting this episode right after finishing the last one, and I’m still kinda riled up from that bullshit. Let’s get to pissing me off and breaking my heart then. Blood/gore mention warnings for this episode.
Exercise your eyes! Read More!
Let’s just jump right in:
Starting right off with forcing myself into putting the tag in. Scott literally just listened to his mother say that giving this woman something to lessen the pain of her injuries could complicate things and make it harder to treat her. This is like an important medical thing. While yes, it’s really upsetting that she would need to keep being in pain, she needs to be able to identify and explain what exactly she’s feeling to the doctor who is going to be arrive really soon (though I have no idea why the nurses aren’t able to get these people set up. That’s what they did with me? I didn’t see a doctor for like an hour, but they didn’t make me sit in the fucking waiting room before dealing with the blood.) Her pain level will have a direct effect on how quickly she’s seen. This moment is meant to show Scott being soft-hearted, but with the doctor only ten minutes away, he could literally be making this woman’s life a whole lot worse by taking away her pain right now. There is a reason why after I was given pain killers for my surgery I wasn’t allowed to be near any heavy objects. Her pain is keeping her from irritating her wound. She could fuck herself up if she stops responding to the signals her body is trying to send her. This is not the right way to make Scott look kind. He looks like an idiot who doesn’t even listen to his nurse mom.
WHo the FUCK would keep driving with a bunch of bugs in the car? She’s not even on the interstate! PULL OVER IDIOT.
I’m actually agreeing with Scott on this one. I have no idea how medically accurate what melissa just did was, but it look pretty damn cool.
WHat the hell is this conversation? First off, Ethan, you made VERY clear in the last episode that you want to bite Danny even after he said no. Even if that was the possession talking, it was based on what YOU wanted. Danny’s not safe with you. Second, what is this bullshit about knowing Lydia is the important one? Important to Stiles and ALlison maybe. Scott literally never talks to Lydia. THIRD how exactly did you guys come up with that idea when you went after them on the FIRST DAY? You sniff him on them? cus’ if so your noses are damaged.
what...what is with this ghost car shit? She was in the middle of the city, more than ten minutes away from the hospital and behind the traffic caused by the ten car pileup. How did the car drive itself ALL THE WAY here?
Ethan. you’re an alpha. you have night vision. You shouldn’t need to ask what the fucking MOTH in the middle of the driver’s seat is.
HI NOAH! I’ll be honest. I missed you. You’re a really good actor and you just make me feel all safe. WHich is weird bc I hate father figures and I hate cops. Linden Ashby is just too good, I guess.
It’s so frustrating watching Deucalion walk around with humans pretending to be blind. Because he is. He is Pretending to be blind. He’s already proved like a dozen times that he can see just fine when he turns on the Alpha eyes. Which doesn’t make SENSE because Deaton said his iris’ were permanently damaged. He doesn’t have two different sets of eyes! And it sucks, bc they put in these little things that it would’ve been awesome to see if they included an actual blind person properly. The casual use of the cane, taking someone’s elbow and the trust that implies, and even this. Having (that looks like ethan’s coat) Ethan explain what’s in front of Deucalion, describing the scene to him.
DEREK YOUR SECURITY SYSTEM SUCKS. HOW DID THEY DO THAT WITHOUT YOU WAKING UP? WITHOUT CORA NOTICING?
Also, Cora, you look amazing, can you please be my friend and can I hug you? I love your shirt.
I HATE THIS BITCH. Fuck you Julia.
uhh....why is an English teacher filling in for a chemistry/geometry teacher? That’s not how substitutes work. Making a joke out of it doesn’t make it make any more sense. SHe shouldn’t be doing that, especially if Harris has been missing for a while.
So your office can keep werewolves out, but not darach? Okay, let me go full conspiracy theorist here. we only know Deaton saw the moths because we see it. He just tells Scott that he’s going to be taken. This is a story that Scott is telling, so he couldn’t know that deaton saw the moths unless deaton told him. Julia is currently teaching a class. Are you seriously saying she doesn’t need to be involved at all in order to do these kidnappings? She can just put them on a timer and let the autmoatic spellwork do the job for her? OR Is deaton lying about being taken, and this is just a test he came up with to force Scott’s “True Alpha”ness to the surface? JUlia clearly had other plans for her sacrifice. I don’t think Deaton was a ‘distraction’ to keep Scott from finding the actual sacrifice. I think it was Deaton using the situation to his advantage.
why does deaton have a canine acupressure chart on his wall? I’ve never seen a vet’s office have that. Does he do alternative medicine for dogs??
BOYD. ISAAC. MY BOYS. I can’t tell you how much I love this. It’s so sneaky and annoying and so pack-ish I just love it so much.
BOYD YOU ARE A GENIUS BOY AND I LOVE YOU.
I swear, like ninety percent of what the ‘adults’ in this show say is ‘go back to school.’ ‘shouldn’t you be in school’ yadda yadda. Like, they want so badly to write the teens as though they never have to go to class, so they just make them constantly skip and ignore that these are fucking teenagers who would never be able to get out of school that easily, and they handwave it with someone occasionally going ‘hmm, weird that they aren’t in school’ and then just ignoring it? Truancy is like a THING that you can get in major trouble for. At least Boyd and Isaac called in sick. You know how you could have avoided all this class bullshit? PUT THE FUCKING SEASON DURING THE SUMMERTIME DUMBASSES.
It just hurts seeing Stiles beg for Scott not to make him tell his dad, and then turn right around and admit that it’s not okay for him to let other people suffer just because it scares him that he might lose his only parent. Like, he walks into that sacrifice with eyes wide fucking open and it hurts.
I’m not talking about these dumb sex scenes anymore. I’m so tired of them.
OKay, can we talk about the fire alarm thing though? It sounds like a jokey kind of thing with Aiden teasing Lydia about wanting to leave during the fire alarm but... Remember how Lydia was haunted by Peter’s burnt corpse? How she can hear the cries of the dead, and how she went wandering into the crumbling remains of the Hale house? There’s every chance that Lydia remembers the fire through Peter’s eyes. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was forever freaked by fire alarms.
Man, Cora and Lydia, together? The sass involved? If I didn’t ship Allydia so hard, I’d totally ship Cora and Lydia.
ONce again, I wanna point out that AIDEN IS A MURDERER. Literally all it would take is someone Explaining to Lydia that he is serial killer and she’d never touch him again.
Cora and Stiles together? I’m loving it. I just, wanna point out that when Scott showed up Cora couldn’t have given less of a shit. But here....Cora doesn’t remotely question Stiles’ authority here. She immediately goes along with it and when he tells her to let go of Cora she does. Even though she has no real reason to. When she asks about the spirit board, it’s a legit question and she doesn’t argue or make fun.
PLus there’s the whole ‘Well do you know any spirits” which straight up just confirms for me that ghosts and shit are real in this universe. I trust the Hales as lore sources and Cora’s matter-of-fact tone is good enough for me.
jesus christ i wanna get deucalion and Peter in a room together and watch them just...monologue random facts and trivia at each other endlessly. “Lacrosse was originally played by Native Americans.” “Do you know what a metronome is?” Guys. come on.
Exasperated Stiles is literally my favorite Stiles. “We’re trying to save lives here for the love of god” “YOU”RE SOMETHING, OKay? JUST put out your Hand” It’s so fucking good.
Someone EXPLAIN TO ME how Scott learned to do fucking gymnastics. WHEN DID HE LEARN THIS? I hate this bullshit “I’m a werewolf, so I can do anything” shit. Especially since it’s LITERALLY just Scott they let do it. Everyone else has to actually do the work to learn it.
So...how exactly does Deucalion know where Deaton is? This literally just supports my theory that Deaton set the whole thing up.
ALSO, since I already have the tag I feel no shame in pointing out that Scott didn’t even HESITATE when he learned Derek was going to die. He immediately asked about Deaton. Yeah yeah, Deaton is a father figure to him, but if that’s an acceptable excuse for Scott to use now, then it should count as an acceptable one when it’s STILES” FATHER BEING THREATENED (but I digress, we’re not there yet.)
How did I never notice that Lydia’s Left handed?
andd.....how did Lydia know that? How did Scott know that? What did Deucalion say that even remotely hints at Danny? Scott doesn’t know about Danny’s paper...what?
Fuck yeah, vengeful Boyd. I dig it.
uh....why couldn’t allison just stand next to Scott in the closet. you know, like she did while he was getting in? Also, why was Allison hiding with him anyway? It’s HER HOUSE and HER BEDROOM.
um....okay, i know that we all like the sterek fics where they have to hide in the closet and one of them pops a boner...but I’mma be real, it’s a lot more uncomfortable when I know she broke up with Scott and they’ve been in there for like ten seconds. Plus there’s the whole knowing that she DEFINITELY has enough room to move away and so does he. *shrug*
Side note: Allison where the fuck do you get these clothes? THey’re both awesome and...kinda weird? Did you buy that dress in france?
okay, i’ll admit it, i do actually kinda like the camera angle through the map, with the blacklight lighting up the symbols (though the symbols flash on and off a little too fast). It’s kinda cool.
uh, how would taking the picture help? You don’t have the blacklight over it? None of the markings are visible anymore
why does Chris keep walking in and out? AND WHY DIDN”T ALLISON DO THAT THE FIRST TIME?
Stiles in plaid and Converse? Yes. Yes. please. That’s so my aesthetic I’m so fucking jealous. He looks COMFY.
This whole interaction is just so fucking weird XD
But like, why would Stiles know to go through Danny’s stuff instead of just asking him why he might’ve been targeted??
HOW WOULD THEY KNOW TO CUT THE POWER? THIS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. Why does the ALpha pack keep showing up with way more information than they should have? It’s so annoying! It’s one thing if Morrell is feeding them information, but she wouldn’t have KNOWN about this! This was a good plan and there’s NO REASON the Alphas should’ve known what Boyd, Isaac, and Derek were doing! What the fuck?
....god i love Derek’s red eyes.
....god i hate that I know where this is going.
....god i wish he’d just let them tear her apart.
I know that it’s meant to be setting up the cora/stiles thing, but I love that she doesn’t hesitate to touch him, and that when she stops him it’s with a very quiet “stop.” She’s really gentle with him, which is just fucking nice. Werewolves taking care to be gentle with Stiles is like...nice.
Since when did Scott know about the plan with Boyd and Isaac? Since when did Stiles know? Is Boyd seriously texting Cora while Derek and Kali are fighting, or did he text her as soon as the power was cut?
is this the first time we see a werewolf bounce off the mountain ash? I mean, I think so, but we also see Peter in S1 try to get past some. There’s no glowing when he comes into contact with the shield. It’s the same with Isaac and Erica in s2. I mean...I guess they’re just trying to upgrade the ash stuff? I gotta say though, I kinda prefered when there were no special effects. It seemed cooler when literally the only thing making it work was belief and having this totally invisible barrier that Peter couldn’t cross. It was cool.
....i think i’m procrastinating seeing the end of this fight. I’m gonna fucking cry.
Why...why does Isaac turn and yell ‘wait’ to Boyd when he was the one running forward to Julia? I am confusion.
Dude, if Alphas could break through mountain ash barriers then Talia Hale WOULDN”T HAVE DIED. THE HALE PACK WOULDn’T HAVE DIED.
I wanna point out here, that this fight between Derek and Kali makes sense for once. Him losing makes sense. We know that the Alphas are much older than they look, or at least Kali, Deucalion and Ennis were. Aiden and Ethan don’t show up in that flashback. ANyway, Kali’s probably in her thirties or forties. SHe’s much older than Derek and she’s been fighting for a lot longer, not to mention fighting to kill.
Seriously, someone get my boy a quarterstaff to knock her feet away.
I really really don’t understand this stuff. Why is it whenever people (I mean Derek, because it’s literally always Derek) get forced to use their werewolf claws/teeth (because again I cannot believe this is happening more than once) he for some reason can’t just...shift back? Retract his claws and fangs? Derek has amazing control, he should totally have been able to do it. With the venom it made sense, he was paralyzed. But now??
What exactly was the fucking point of having Scott break the mountain ash barrier, just to have the sheriff show up and shoot Deaton down? That was literally useless.
also, Noah is an amazing shot. Hot damn.
ALSO. LIterally all this info about true alphas is being whispered to Scott when he’s all alone? How the fuck am i supposed to trust that deaton even ever said that shit to Scott? He could totally be lying about it.
WHAT KIND OF TOTAL BULLSHIT BACKWARDS ASS PLOTLINE IS THIS? After half the season being about Deucalion attacking Derek and trying to get him into the pack, suddenly “Deucalion isn’t after Derek, he’s after you” WHAT? THat’s the STUPIDEST LAZIEST SHIT I’VE EVER SEEN.
and to end my rant BOYD SHOULD NOT HAVE DIED. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? PETER STUCK HIS ENTIRE HAND THROUGH DEREK”S CHEST IN SEASON 1 WHIL IN HIS ALPHA FORM AND THREW HIM INTO A WALL AND DEREK SURVIVED JUST FINE. WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE???
Final Thoughts: No. No, no, no no, no, and no. The ‘plotline’ of this episode is literally like fifteen things that have nothing to do with each other.
Admittedly, there were a few nice moments. Cora, Lydia, and Stiles was an awesome trio. Boyd, Isaac, and Derek was an awesome trio. The sheriff? Amazing. Melissa? A fucking hero. Danny, a genius saint.
All in all, I’m going to tear this episode to shreds in order to rewrite it. Get fucked, Davis.
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msjr0119 · 4 years
Text
The American Adventure
Part 2
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Prince Liam and his closest friends are sent to a summer camp in America for a month, whilst in Cordonia the nobles are preparing for Prince Leo’s social season unknowingly to him. During their time there, Liam and Drake become besotted with the same girl- Riley Brooks.
A/N: For those who have read my series ‘Cordonian Wags’, there are a lot of similarities in this series. However there has been a mix up with the pairings in this series. I’ve completely changed my original plan for this series. For some chapters it will be split between the past and present. *Some quotes and similar scenes are based from the film 'The Best of Me'*
Book: The Royal Romance (A/U for majority of this series, some canon will be used but with slight twists)
All characters belong to Pixelberry apart from; Lindsey Brooks, Andy Brooks, Jackie Brooks, Nate Cooper, Lola Hughes and Bethany Hughes.
Warnings: PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18! Adult language, mention of sexual abuse, mention of depression suspicion, mention of domestic abuse suspicion, mention of character death (present tense).
Word count: 3,750
Tags- if you want to be added or removed let me know; @pedudley @kacie-0156 @loveellamae @annekebbphotography @texaskitten30 @cordonianroyalty @bascmve01 @sanchita012 @princessleac1 @queenjilian @kingliam2019 @lodberg @rainbowsinthestorm
Catch up here
*****
“Why are you both hiding in a wardrobe? You both look ridiculous.”
“As I said, surprise! Uncle serious picked me up. He was in a rush, insisting that he needed to get back as soon as possible. But I get to spend an extra night with you! I heard what you said about Nate, I’m going to kill the bastard- don’t you worry!”
“Lindsey!” The girl looked at her father sternly, wondering why she was defending Riley and her father had blatantly ignored the facts surrounding Nate.
“Just saying, anyway now she knows that I’m here, we’ll head to our cabin.”
“Quick question, why aren’t you in Europe in the army?” Riley asked her second father figure, still shocked and confused as to why he was here.
“Erm... sick leave.”
“So you’re going to help out then?”
“I can’t, sick leave remember?” The two girls left the men alone, Riley caught Lindsey up on everything that had happened on the first day. When the coast was clear, Andy turned to his childhood friend shaking his head with a slight smirk.
“Sick leave? Seriously? That’s all that you could think up of?”
“How do you think the truth would have turned out... ‘oh hey girls, I don’t work in the army anymore- instead I’m a royal guard for the royal family...by the way the Prince is your fellow camper.’ I promised King Constantine that their identities will not be disclosed, as did you. If anything happens to any of them especially Liam it will all be my fault- I suggested this adventure for them to the King and Queen.”
“As long as the girls don’t know the truth, or anyone for that matter- there shouldn’t be an issue. You have my word, Bast. It’s great to have you back in the states buddy.”
****
Everybody arrived at the cabin allocated for ‘staff only’. On route they bumped into Jackie who agreed on the three men staying with them- she had arranged for Nate to join some other people. As much as Jackie would have loved for him to be ‘a loner’, she wasn’t that cruel.
“This is lovely. It’s like Jackson’s cabin back at home. Isn’t that right, Drake?” Nodding, Drake didn’t want to be here. Especially after his altercation with Riley. Not wanting to be such a prick towards her, he regretted how he behaved immediately. Lola took charge deciding the sleeping arrangements, not allowing for anyone else to have a say in the matter.
“Is that a picture of a blonde Riley and her sister I presume?” Liam questioned Daniel. To begin with there were some hidden feelings towards Riley; an instant attraction. But now that he had seen a picture of her sister, he began to have conflicted feelings.
“Yeah, I think Riley suits blonde. Lindsey is pretty scary if anyone hurts her kid sister, just warning you all now.” Hearing the door slam open, they all stood frozen after originally jumping in unison.
“Talk of the devil.” Daniel winked towards the visitors.
“I’m going to kill him. I swear to god if he touches a single hair on your head he’s a dead man... he thinks because his father is rich he can do whatever the fuck he wants!”
“And people think that I’m a bitch...” Lola giggled. “Hey you two, you have company.”
Lindsey faked a smile, turning from the hulk into an angel. She now knew that Nate Cooper was going to be on her radar at all times during this years camp. But would place those thoughts to the back of her mind. For now at least.
“Hey, Lo... hello handsome strangers...”
“Linz, these ‘strangers’ are newbies so play nice. This is Liam, Maxwell and Drake.”
“So you’re the infamous, Drake.” Overhearing his name, Riley joined them all blushing- unable to look at Drake. Why are they here? Why is he here?
“Hello, it’s nice to finally meet you. Riley spoke highly of you to myself.” Liam introduced himself, his heart began to flutter erratically.
“Shame... she didn’t mention about you...” The two of them remained dormant, just staring into each other’s eyes. As if they was in a trance, which was soon interrupted by Riley.
“What are you guys doing here? Where’s Nate?”
“They are staying here with us! Surprise.”
“Great...Erm I’m going to bed, early start.”
“Stop being such a prune. Have some fun will ya?” Lola knew for a fact that her closest friend was hiding something- usually she would be a night owl but her attitude had changed recently.
“I’ve got a bad headache. Enjoy everyone.” Riley excused herself, after providing them all with a soft smile. A fake one at that.
****
The morning after, Riley tip toed past the guests hoping to not wake them up. Not really making eye contact with any of them she decided to make a coffee before sneaking out to breathe in the fresh morning air.
“Oh sorry, I didn’t know that you was up. I’ll go somewhere else.” What is his issue with me?
“Why are you avoiding me so much?” I don’t want to avoid you. I really don’t. But I have to.
“I’m not avoiding you. I don’t know you.” That’s why you get to know someone, what a dickhead.
“Rather than just assume what my life is like and paint a picture of me....get to know me...” I want to, I really do. But I can’t, especially after I imagined kissing you in the lake.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. We will never see each other again, Brooks. We are not friends...” Is he shy? It doesn’t matter if we don’t see each other again, make every moment count!
“Meet me at the lake at six tonight. I just want you to not judge me before getting to know me.” Not giving him chance to respond she left him alone, wanting to have the last word. If not they could have been there all morning debating about why they couldn’t be fiends. At least.
****
After their brief talk, Drake needed some excuse to not meet her. Of course he wanted to get to know her. Wanting to spend time with her. However, he knew that it would only end up in heartbreak. The group arrived at fencing, Nate had been persistently asking where they had all been staying. Why he had been forced to move into another cabin? Drake immediately hated him more every second that he spent with him.
“So, Riley and Lindsey will demonstrate. Then I’ll pair you all up.” The two girls defined the definition of sibling rivalry. Neither wanting to give in and lose. After a while their mother abruptly stopped them, calling it a draw. Much to Lindsey’s annoyance.
“Madeleine, Olivia... are you both ready?” Olivia stood up abruptly ready to battle, where as Madeleine was hesitating. The blonde knew that Olivia enjoyed any activity which could harm her opponent.
“I think I’ll see this one out, thank you very much.” Madeleine suggested as she fluttered her eyes towards Jackie.
“Get up now Amaranth! What’s up? Scared that I’m going to slit that perfect skin of yours?”
“Olivia! No violence please.”
“I’m only joking Mrs Brooks.” Or am I? Madeleine gulped, knowing for a fact that her so called friend wasn’t joking. “I don’t feel too good. Is it okay if I head back?” Jackie sighed, knowing that Madeleine wasn’t going to cooperate in any way or form. Agreeing just to avoid any conflict, she watched Madeleine make her way back to the dorm. Jackie decided to pair up with Olivia herself, once they had finished the older woman now knew why Madeleine looked terrified at the mention of being the red heads opponent.
“Drake, Nate. You’re both up next.” Jackie suggested after catching her breath. Not noticing how the two of them were providing each other with looks that could kill prior to her pairing them up.
“Great. It’ll be like a proper duel. People who are below my standard don’t stand a chance.”
“Nate, please don’t hurt him.” Riley pleaded quietly, knowing that he wouldn’t take any notice anyway.
“Why? Do you have a crush on him? When you have me here?”
“No! They are new. You’re an expert at it, just go easy. Please.” Nate knew exactly what she thought of Drake. The blush that appeared upon her face gave her true feelings away instantly.
“I’ll go easy, if you can give me a good luck kiss...” kissing him on the cheek, that is all he would ever receive from her.
“Aw, I think they make a cute couple.” Maxwell said, before looking at Drake who was hiding his jealousy well due to his friends comment. “Do you need a good luck kiss, Drake?”
“Not from you! I don’t need good luck.”
****
Walking by the lake, she was disappointed that Drake wasn’t there as arranged earlier on in the day. Sitting on the edge on the jetty- she just needed a break away from everyone. Deep down, she was upset that he hated her in an instant. But she hated the fact that she was the opposite. Liam was handsome she couldn’t deny that but she felt something for Drake even if he was a jerk with her.
“Hi, Riley!” The younger campers shouted towards her. They adored her, as she ‘mothered’ them all. Just smiling and waving towards them- she checked the time. He’s not coming, Riley. Just accept it. Slowly standing up, her heart was breaking but her mind informed her to act normal- as if she didn’t care. As she walked away from the jetty she noticed two familiar faces walking her way.
“Hey, where is he?” The two men looked at each other confused, wondering who she was referring about.
“Who?” Maxwell questioned not knowing why he would know anything.
“Drake.”
“Oh, he’s at the cabin. He wasn’t feeling too well.”
“Okay.” Smiling at the two of them, she explained that she was going to go to the canteen. Luckily they believed her.
Drake heard the door open, turning his head he didn’t want to see her. It wasn’t a date anyway he believed.
“I decided to not come. I’m not feeling too well.” Speaking quietly, he felt guilty for standing her up. He daren’t turn around to face her, he could only imagine what her facial expression would be. Anger. Mixed with hurt possibly.
“No shit sherlock.” Sternly responding to him, she couldn’t wait to hear what lame excuse he came up with.
“I didn’t have a number to contact you. So I couldn’t get a hold of you to let you know.”
“Well I was at the lake. You do have legs right? You could have walked there and explained that you wasn’t staying.”
“Why are you so bothered? Is this a little game that you’re playing? Trying to make Nate jealous by spending time with us instead?” Laughing she couldn’t believe how his mind ticked. At how defensive he sounded even if he was in the wrong according to her.
“That’s crazy. You’re crazy.”
“No, you’re crazy. Wanting to spend time with someone like me.”
“Maybe I like men that are normal. Intelligent. Adventurous. Maybe, just maybe....” pausing, he didn’t seem the slight bit interested as he remained in the same position that he was in when she first arrived. “You just don’t get it do you, Drake?”
“Maybe I don’t.” Turning around, she didn’t want this conversation to elaborate now. That’s enough of trying to look desperate.
“You know. It wasn’t a date. I just wanted to talk. Is that too much to ask? You’re here for a month, all I wanted to do was sit down near the lake. You ask me questions. I ask you questions. If it was too awkward for you, and you want to continue hating me- fine. Fair enough. But at least we tried. Forget it, I’m done.”
Storming off, he was like a magnet - her mind was trying to think up of any excuse to talk to him. To try to talk. As she walked back in, Drake had defused himself from the couch- her eyes widened as she saw his face.
“This is why I didn’t want to meet you.”
“What happened?”
“During fencing when you left, he was talking about you like you was a piece of shit. After he did this to me, he warned me to stay away from you.”
Nate pushed Drake into a mucky puddle that was surrounding them. Losing his balance, Drake fell backwards. Hearing Olivia cheer for Nate, he grit his teeth. Feeling humiliated, he used the self defence skills that Bastien and his father had taught him and the others from such a young age.
“I won! Why couldn’t you just accept defeat?” Nate snapped as he fell next to Drake.
“Let’s call it a draw.” Hearing the crowd cheer, Nate decided to become a professional actor in front of everybody. Helping Drake up, he then pat him on the back. Once everybody was getting ready for the next ‘match’, Nate dragged his opponent out of the way of prying eyes. Raising his fist, he aimed straight for Drake’s cheek bone.
“What the fuck? Are you insane?”
“Are you?”
“What the fuck are you on about, Nigel?” Emphasising Maxwell’s nickname for Nate, Drake knew that it would irritate the hell out of him.
“Listen, stay away from Riley. She’s mine. You really think that she will look at someone like you? You’re not even from around here so keep those puppy dog eyes lingering somewhere else. You and the blue eyed blonde prick.”
“I don’t like her. But she isn’t your property. So stop disrespecting her. If she is ever going to be yours you need to learn to treat her right!”
“Oh I will, money buys you everything. I’ll make her mine- even if I have to force it upon her.”
“Don’t talk about her like that. If she doesn’t want you, get over yourself.”
“Aw what’s up? Are you going to be a hero? Make her fall in love with you instead for all of what... four weeks? You can keep that thought. Because that’s all it’ll ever be. I get what I want, one way or another. See ya.”
“I’m so sorry. Drake... I....”
“It’s fine.” Closing the distance between the two of them, she gently touched the injury causing him to flinch.
“Please don’t touch it.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll sort it out.”
“Don’t. Honestly, I’m fine. It’s fine. If you want, we can talk another time? Once the dust settles.”
“Pass me your phone. I’ll put my number in it so you can contact me when we aren’t in the groups. I’ll see you later?”
“Sure.”
Once she left, a smile crept up on his face. Regretting not meeting her to begin with, he would make amends behind closed doors. Not wanting Nate, to be a danger towards anyone. Especially, Riley. He decided to give her a quick text, so she also had his number.
Receiving his text, a smile crept up on to her face. Unable to wipe it away, she was pleased that she had a persistent attitude. Noticing Nate, she pulled him away from the group that he was sat in.
“Hey, beautiful. Feeling any better?”
“I’m feeling much better than you’ll be feeling.” Swinging her fist back, she aimed straight for his nose. Blood immediately poured everywhere, as he fell backwards not expecting this type of behaviour from her.
“Stay away from me. Stay away from everybody else...” Stay away from Drake. Realising that he was the attention of the full camp, he felt humiliated beyond words as gasps and whispering echoed around him. Stupid bitch. Were the two words that he wanted to express out loud. Instead he bit his tongue, not wanting to push her away any further. Escaping from the ‘crime scene’ he began plotting how to get his revenge- not on Riley specifically, but the new boys who had caused all of this in his mind.
****
Feeling slightly guilty that she had used her fists- she was a lover not a fighter, the adrenaline soon drained and she began to rethink about her unexpected actions. Drake had defended her to begin with, even without elaborating on the true facts about what Nate said regarding her. She believed that there was possibly much more to that conversation, but Drake didn’t have the heart to go into full details. Most likely to protect her feelings. Or so she hoped. Deep down, she knew that he wasn’t an arsehole under all of those scowls that prevented his true personality from making an appearance. Even though she was the directors daughter, her father wouldn’t treat her any differently and would send her to the isolation cabin for a night as well as a full day as he would do for anyone else breaking any rules.
“Riley......”
“I know, I’ll pack my bag.”
“Baby, don’t touch him again. Ignore him in the future.”
“So it’s okay for him to give Drake a black eye? Demand that Drake stays away from me after he protected and defended me?”
“He did what?”
****
Riley closed her eyes, most people close to her assumed that she was suffering with depression. Possible domestic abuse added to those suspicions even if she denied it. Hence the weekly meetings in this office. Staring at the same four walls that she had become accustomed to for the last four weeks, it became tedious. Pointless, in her mind.
“So after you informed your father about what Nate had done to Drake, what happened next?” Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes. Remembering how determined she was to just talk to him. Shaking her head, she didn’t want to elaborate on the heartbreak that she had suffered. Stupidity from her part believed that they could have had the fairytale ending as Andy and Jackie did. Now, it was just distant memories. Memories that often resurfaced every now and again.
“Summer camp, was a major part of your childhood right up to young adulthood. If your parents were still here would you be able to return even with the memories about Drake, Nate and your friends.”
“One day I will have to return. To face it all again. I’m just not ready yet. That year, I finally understood what love was. I understood about how my parents instantly fell in love in a similar situation....”
“Next week, if you want- we can continue where we left off if it helps? Explain what happened for the remainder of the camp season.” Riley thanked Sharon, her counsellor. Even ten years later, she still struggled with what happened at camp that time that the five strangers attended. Lindsey had recently forced her sister to have sessions especially after losing their parents tragically. As she exited the building, her cell began to ring on an unknown number.
“Hello?”
“Hello, may I speak to Riley Brooks please?”
“I am... I was Riley Brooks. I’m married now. But yes, you’ve found her.”
“Riley, my name is Harris Watson and I’m the estate attorney for your Uncle. I’m afraid I have some bad news...”
“Oh god...”
****
The last day or two had been specifically hard for Drake. He had purposely self isolated himself in his fathers cabin. Not wanting or allowing himself to socialise or interact with anyone. Not even, Liam. Thirteen years had passed since he had lost his father. Twelve and a half years since his mother had done a vanishing act. A year since his sister mimicked their mothers actions. Two days ago he lost someone else, the only other person who he was close to. Slowly sipping the whiskey, he stared at the photo above the fire place. A photo that was taken ten years prior. The picture could paint a thousand words, but for Drake its only meaning was the one and only time that he had truly fallen in love. Unexpectedly.
Here’s to you, Ri. I hope that you are doing all of those amazing things. Those aims that you said you would do when you forced me to talk to you for the first time. I’m so sorry for hurting you. I miss you every second of each day.
Hearing his phone ring, he was knocked out of his trance from all those years ago.
“Hello, is that Drake Walker?”
“Yes, this is he.”
“Drake, my name is Harris Watson and I’m the estate attorney for....” Drakes heart sunk, he knew exactly what this phone call was regarding. Suddenly he seemed very sober. “Upon his request, he had requested for yourself and four others to come to New York City. I will forward you a copy of the letter that he left; it will include the names of those people. But I will require for you to come to my office for ten am on Monday. I will forward the directions. Is that okay?”
“Sure. See you there. Thank you.” Hanging up, tears immediately rolled down his face uncontrollably. Receiving the notification he opened the document as his hand shook.
Dear Drake, my son.
I’m sorry that I couldn’t help you locate Savannah as promised. As soon as I had heard about what the King had done to you all of these years, I couldn’t hold back. He’s going to kill me, hence why I am writing this. I’m sorry for leaving you. But I had to defend you. My will hearing will be in New York, I need you to travel there with; Liam and Maxwell. Possibly take Leo with you? Maybe Tariq too? I know you don’t like Tariq much, but does anyone? I know you’re probably laughing at that comment right now. Maybe you could combine this trip with Liam’s premature bachelor party? Have a blast you lot! I’m going to look down on you as well as two other special people in my life. I hope that you find happiness that you deserve. You are loyal, and I’m proud to have been able to call you my son. Bast.
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whatacartouchebag · 4 years
Text
So I recently did an AMA over on the Fair Game Effect discord server, and it was a whole mess of fun! I loved being able to get the chance to chat about the creative process that goes on behind the scenes, so I wanted to be able to share the answers with the rest of you ♥
I do tend to get kind of wordy for some of these answers, so to save your dash, find out a bit more about my writing process under the cut!
Keep in mind that there are mild SPOILERS up to the latest chapter of And The Reason Comes, if you haven’t caught up!
Question: I absolutely love the cadence of your writing, especially the slow way you unravel emotions. Was there something particular about the relationship between Qrow and Clover that you felt lends itself to this style of writing? Can you talk a bit about how you decide which emotional bits get more attention, and how you decide the depth to which you describe those emotions? That’s 2 questions, sorry.
Cart: Thankyou so much!! The biggest part of writing these two really comes from the fact that they're both adults with a lot of stuff on their plates. They've had enough experience with life along the way to know a few things here and there. They don't tend to rush into things, unless it's a good fight, and there's a lot of mutual respect for space and trust and time, so it was all about expanding on what's already there. In canon, we were always shown that there was this soft sort of trust building up between the two of them, but it was never anything in great leaps and bounds.
Qrow's shown himself not to be the sort to blindly trust without reason, and how easily that can break, so going into Reason I always kinda knew it would be a slow drag of letting him work himself out around this new force in his life. Clover himself has shown that he's this quiet but gently reassuring presence in his life, and putting them together is like a match skirting the edge of kindling. They work so well together; they recognise there's something there, so it was just a matter of letting them fall into step over the course of the fic.
As for the second question, hoo man, that's kind of a mixed bag answer! It all really depends on the brainstorming process of what plot points I want to tackle, and in what order they fall onto the page. Sometimes it's also a matter of just letting the scene play out by letting the characters say what feels 'right' at the time (which can sometimes go INCREDIBLY against what I originally had planned). There was always going to be heavier scenes versus lighter ones, so it's a bit of a balancing act to know when to let them come up for air, or when to let them linger. Not just for them, but also for the audience.
That's... probably the biggest thing I keep in mind when writing the heavier emotional scenes. It's not just the characters going through it, but whoever's reading it, too.
As to the depth part, that's... something that depends on the rhythm of what's happening. If it's a scene of heavier realisation, sometimes shorter, punchier sentences help portray that (eg: Qrow's realisation of what home is to him in the latest chapter), but other times, it takes something meatier to help feel what they're feeling (eg: that first kiss and Qrow's subsequent reaction). It's that striking-a-balance feeling again, and finding what works best for the pacing of the scene, and it's something I always have fun writing.
Question: What parts of Reason do you enjoy the most so far?
Cart: can I just say i've adored writing the whole thing jkhdfk
Man, I... really don't know how to answer this one. I've enjoyed the entire process of the fic, because it's been such a fun ride of ups and downs. I adore writing these two together, so sometimes it's the little things that really tick all my boxes.
I do get a giant kick out of writing action scenes, so the sparring match and the canyon fight with the Nevermore were pure indulgence for me to go through. I love the tender, more simple moments, like the noodle shop, or any of the time spent with the girls. Getting to see them through some heavy emotional moments, like at the lookout, or at Clover's apartment. Being able to explore some characters and have fun with them along the way; I mean, writing Winter has been an absolute blast and I never thought she'd be as fun to write as she has been.
Honestly, though, it's just a treat to be able to write a scene where Qrow is genuinely happy, because it's something that's so very rarely shown, and being able to give that to him is just so good.
Question: What is your planning process like? Reason is such a big story, how much of it was planned at the start? Did you have all the major plot points decided then, or did some big ones strike you along the way?
Cart: Kind of fifty-fifty, actually! I had a few big story beats in mind before I started putting pen to paper, but a lot of smaller, in-between scenes generally fall into place somewhat organically along the way. There were always some things that I wanted to do from the outset, for example, the sparring match, the noodle shop, Clover's breakdown, and the Nevermore fight.
Along the way, ideas will pop out of the blue while I'm doing dishes or something, or if I've been stewing about how to connect certain points. Those usually get jotted down and shuffled or reworked depending on how the story is progressing. The usual process kinda looks like this:
Tumblr media
It's just quick little snatches of notes, but the actual scenes get WAY more fleshed out as the chapter plays out. Some things don't make the cut, depending on pacing, or if it doesn't fit the flow of where a scene goes, or if it's just going to pad out the story too much (as you can see from the last note there, it's something that never made the cut in the restaurant, but it was a fun idea to play with).
Question:
In addition to
Reason
, you also wrote a series of fics for Fair Game Week! How was writing those different than writing for something long-form like
Reason
? And which FGW was your favourite to write :)?
Cart: I actually get a real kick out of writing shorter prompts, because it really helps keep myself better in a character's head, ie seeing how they react to different situations, knowing how they'd respond to something, that sort of thing. It's a good mental break to be able to sink my teeth into something shorter, and with a concise ending, rather than a bigger, ongoing project like Reason.
As to a favourite, man, I adore Feint because getting to go over the parts and pieces of Harbinger was amazing, though I really do have a soft spot for Sinew because writing a sick floppy bird getting cared for by Clover was just fun.
Question: It’s so lovely to hear about how much you’ve enjoyed writing Reason from your answers! Have you gotten stuck on any part, and if so, how did you work through that?
Cart: Oof, I have gotten stuck quite a few times along the way. Wrapping up the restaurant scene was a big one, and definitely when Ruby, Clover and Qrow left the canyon to return to Mantle. There's an upcoming scene with Winter that I had to revisit quite a few times, because of certain subtleties in phrasings or how she was speaking very carefully with someone without either of them saying too much that would cross a line. I still find myself getting stuck with Ironwood, but mainly because I still haven't gotten his voice right in my head.
Working through them, to me, is just a matter of pushing ahead with a scene, letting characters talk to one another, or letting them get their own thoughts out, because sometimes in doing that, it helps me stumble across something that leads into another scene. Or having a goal to work towards - another scene - and just finding a different way to connect the two.
Question: What inspired you to begin writing Reason?
Cart: Honestly? It was seeing Qrow taking the first real, productive steps into healing, and finding himself working alongside this positive parallel of a person, and reacting so wonderfully to it. After Clover's introduction, it was clear that he was going to be such a healing presence to Qrow, and watching Qrow open himself up to this man little by little was something that was wonderful to see.
It was because of that I really wanted to do something with this healing process, and help the two of them connect in a more solid, in-depth manner. It's honestly why them becoming a couple took so long to come around; I wanted the focus to be on their trust and connection first, and their relationship as a couple to come afterwards.
Question: If you don’t mind me asking (feel free to ignore if this would be too spoilery!), but going forward with Reason, are you planning on including any canon scenes from the show?
Cart: It's something I've been tossing up for a while, pretty much ever since I started writing it, to be honest. It's why the fic takes place in that little handwaved time pocket between their arrival in Atlas and the elections, because it gave me enough time to play around with something if I did include canon scenes.
Going forward... I'm not too sure! If I did, then many things would certainly change, but at the current pace of things, and with the loose ending I have in mind, it might be hard to wrangle in. But hey, maybe we'll see!
Question: You navigate through a lot of different emotional beats in Reason so deftly!! Do you have any strategies you use to keep everyone in character as you write?
Cart: Thankyou! A couple of things I always try and keep in the back of my mind when writing: does this sound like something they would say in canon? And is this something that the audience is going to find enjoyable?
Obviously, the characters change a little over the course of the story, so subtle changes will be there, but for the most part, I always stick to those two loose rules when I'm putting pen to paper. As an aside, Reason wasn't actually my first foray into writing these characters! I wrote just a few simple, throwaway scenes and snatches of conversation, just to get a feel for them and their voices before I really started writing the bigger stuff.
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script-the-skeleton · 4 years
Text
How Legends are Born
@mythicalartisttm
Legend took pride in many things: his ability to run through a dungeon in ten minutes, the size of his arsenal, or his experience. He knew many languages, with the help of a book that he found, and was the equivalent of an ambassador with how many times he saved foreign countries. But, the thing he prided himself most on was the fact that he was not the Hero of Time.
For the majority of his life, he had heard the stories of the Fallen Hero, the Last Hero, the Dead Hero, or, just simply, the failure. In his time, the name was cursed and spat on so much that the original title didn’t remain. No one wanted to honor the person who failed to save the kingdom.
As a child, he heard ghost stories and fables from neighboring adults. He shouldn’t act like an adult when he was a child, because that was what the Hero did. He shouldn’t play in the woods, that’s where the Hero’s from. He shouldn’t wear green, those are the clothes of someone who was weak.
His uncle on the other hand, tried his hardest to change his mind about the Hero. He said that him failing wasn’t the Hero’s fault, and there was no reason to hate him. He tried his best, especially at a young age.
So, his uncle taught him all the things adults knew. He took them on hikes through the woods. He made Legend wear a green tunic and matching cap.
Legend didn’t listen. He acted his age as a teenager, stayed near towns, and red was way more his color. He rose from the ashes of the fire that the Hero started. Why should he care about the man who caused him, and his kingdom, so much pain?
So, he prided himself on succeeding where the Hero of Time didn’t.
One thing he didn’t expect was meeting him. Ironically, he was a little bit in awe of *the legend* that was Time. Everything he thought he would be like was the opposite.
“My name is Link.”
He was modest, not even using his title to introduce himself. He was a common rancher instead of living it up in a castle. Legend chalked it up to this being the time he managed to not die, so he reserved the right to hate on the other version of him.
Then, after meeting him and stewing in his hate, it came as a shock when he read his uncle’s diary. He could have never imagined what lay in the text.
He was cleaning out his house when he found it again after so many years. Back on that stormy night, his uncle handed him a sword, a shield, and a book. He never had time to read it, so he put it away, not having the heart to. Now... well, it couldn’t hurt.
While the others were outside, looking around his Hyrule, he sat down and read.
“Dear Link, if you are reading this, I am dead.”
Legend snorted.
“Or something has happened to me. I have something to tell you, a secret that has been passed down since my grandmother’s grandmother’s mother. The Order of Knights that were our ancestors weren’t our only relations.”
He sat up. He knew of the knights, those were easy to trace his lineage back to, but what else was there in his family tree.
“There have been many rumors about our family. Some say we are a bastard clan of the Royal Family, I’ve even heard some say you are her Highness’ brother.”
Legend cackled. Him? Zelda’s brother? She would have murdered him if they were related from sheer annoyance.
“This is not true by any means, but we do have some significant blood running through us. Going back to before the dark times, we are the descendants of-“
“Hey, Legend,” Hyrule walked in, “are these berries poisonous, cause Wild ate a whole handful and...”
THUD.
“Legend?!” Hyrule rushed over to see the hero standing over the book he dropped. Eyes staring blankly into the wall and hand gripping his tunic. “Are you alright?”
“I-I’m,” he swayed to the whims of Hyrule shaking him.
When he didn’t respond, Hyrule picked up the book and read the page he was on. After a second, Hyrule realized what was wrong.
“You’re related to...” Hyrule narrowed his eyes, “how? How is that possible?!”
Legend didn’t respond.
“Does anyone else know?” Hyrule tried to get any coherence out of his friend.
Legend growled, “Sahasrahla, that... he had to have known. I am going to kill that old man!”
“No one else?”
“Maybe Zelda, she called upon both me and my uncle based off our bloodline.”
Silence.
“You have to tell him,” Hyrule declared.
“No!”
“You have to tell Time that you are his descendant!” Hyrule shouted.
BANG! The door slammed open.
“What?!” Twilight growled after running in the door. Presumably, he was there about the berries, as he was holding a jar of them. Wild must’ve had a lot and had some consequences.
“Out!” Legend pointed to the door, a glare on his face.
“No,” Twilight walked in farther, closing the door behind him, “what’s this about you be related to Time.”
“None of your business!”
“I think it is.”
The two had a staring contest while Hyrule was losing his mind.
“How had you not known before, how had we not known?” He asked, “Malon was being suspicious when we met her, she kept watching us. I think she knew one of us was her great grandchild or something. But how?”
Twilight’s ears flicked.
“What does it even matter,” Legend spoke, “let’s just forget about this and never talk about it again!”
“This is important,” Twilight wouldn’t back down, “I know how you feel about Time, about your version of him. Now you’re related to him? You aren’t going to see him the same after this.”
“You know what?” Legend smirked, “you bring up a good point. My version of Time, the Fallen Hero. He’s exactly that, the Fallen Hero, he died! How could he have had a kid, no less descendants? This could all be a farce!”
“Unless,” Hyrule popped in, “the Fallen Hero lived at least until 18 before finally dying in the battle with Ganon. There’s a window that he could have...”
He shut up when Legend pointed his sword at him.
“Sorry...”
Legend sighed, “let’s just ignore this.”
Twilight huffed, “I thought you prided yourself on not being Time?”
That did it. Without thinking, Legend pulled out one of his million fire rods and launched an attack at the Hero of Twilight.
“I am not him!” He screamed in rage, “I have done what he could not, multiple times even. I could never be related to such a failure!”
“And yet you are!” Twilight pulled out his gale boomerang and used the winds to blow out the fire. “Why does that scare you? You’ve met Time, he’s a great person.”
“Guys!” Hyrule was hiding behind his shield, hoping that there wouldn’t be too much carnage. He hugged the diary, making sure it didn’t get burned. “Stop fighting!”
“Why do you care!?” Legend snarled, “you’ve always had a soft spot for him, wouldn’t hear a word against him. Is there a reason for that? What? Are you also related to him?”
Twilight paused and the wind and fire finally dispersed. Realization dawned on Legend.
“You have got to be kidding me,” He said dully. “I should have seen this from the start. The Hero of Time’s golden boy and protege, he trains you to be a better him. This is just precious!”
Then, Twilight laughed.
“Oh,” Twilight smiled, “I know what this is about. You’re jealous!”
“Jealous, please. I am not Warriors.”
Twilight shrugged, “sure. But you, you are jealous that maybe the Hero of Time actually survived in one lifetime and he lived a happy life.”
“I have nothing against Time-“
“Not him,” Twilight interrupted, “you hate the very idea of the Hero of Time, and you are jealous of the nice life he had.
“He had a relatively happy childhood. Grew up, got a wife, had kids. Meanwhile, you have done nothing but fight since you were a kid, and you haven’t stopped. You have suffered thanks to Time’s supposed failure, so why should he be happy and not you!”
“Twilight,” Hyrule whined, “that’s not fair.”
“I’m right,” Twilight crossed his arms, “aren’t I?”
No response from Legend, he had shut down again.
“Now,” Twilight set down the jar of berries he had somehow held onto this whole time, “I need to make sure Wild is alive.”
He turned to the door and spoke as he left, “don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. See you in a bit, cousin.”
As the door creaked closed, Legend fell on his knees and started to cry. Hyrule rushed over and tried to comfort him, but he didn’t know what to do.
“Legend,” he whispered, “it’s alright! Twilight was just mad, you know how close he is to Time, he didn’t mean any of it.”
“It’s true, though,” he sadly admitted, “I don’t like the idea of the Hero of Time being happy.”
Hyrule stuttered, “w-what.”
“Did you think I liked being forced into this life?” Legend cried, “being dragged into fighting an indescribable terror because the previous hero died. I have fought Ganon four times, I didn’t want this!”
He stared at the book in Hyrule’s hands.
“And then, I learned that my time, *our* timeline, was nothing but a cosmic mistake! I didn’t want to believe it, but my whole existence is nothing but a dying thought in a sick world.”
He dug his nails into his legs, “why does Time live in another timeline? Why does he have the, the *audacity* to be happy when I am not! I hate him! I hate the Hero of Time! I would rather that he was dead!”
“Legend!” Hyrule gasped, “that’s not true! Time has been nothing but nice to us, and Malon, and-“
“I don’t care,” Legend smiled bitterly, “it feels good to admit it out loud. You wouldn’t understand, though, you are farther away from him.”
Hyrule stared at him in disbelief, “I wouldn’t understand? *I* wouldn’t understand?! Legend, remember who I had to fight, what the state of my Hyrule is in!”
Legend realized his mistake too late. Hyrule was angry now.
“I fought Ganon, too!” He frowned, “and my kingdom doesn’t even have any proper cities! Why is that? If you fought Ganon, four times, why is he still around?”
“That’s not my fault!” Legend spat, “Ganon can be resurrected!”
“Then how is it Time’s fault that you had to fight Ganon?”
“He could’ve killed him when he was a man, ending the cycle!”
“You don’t know that,” Hyrule retorted, “if you blame Time, then I can blame you. But, I don’t...”
Legend narrowed his eyes.
“If we blamed everyone before us for not stopping all the evil in the world,” Hyrule continued, “we would be very bitter people. Do you blame Four?”
“No, he didn’t really fight Ganon-“
“But he still did. Do you blame Sky?”
“Hylia-“
“Hylia nothing! Do you blame Sky? He was the first one to get cursed, starting the cycle.”
“He was fighting a god, he couldn’t have destroyed him.”
“And Ganon was the reincarnation of that god’s hate. Do you see what I mean?”
Legend said nothing.
“If you blame Time, then you have to blame every single person that came before you. If you blame Time, you will be a hypocrite and I deem you responsible for the state of my kingdom!”
Legend sighed, “alright. I get it.”
Hyrule choked on spit, ready to continue his tangent, but stopped in his tracks.
“Really?” He smiled hopefully.
“Yeah,” Legend bit his tongue, “I have been taught all my life that Hyrule was in shambles because of one man. Maybe we’ve been blaming the kindling for the fire and not the arsonist. Still...”
He sat on his bed, putting his hands into his face, “I can’t forgive him. A sick, dark part of me wants him to suffer as much as I have. I almost want to see the arsonist come back.”
He fell onto his back, “I never should have been born. At least then I wouldn’t have to deal with this!”
Hyrule sat next to him, “don’t say that. Because of you, many people are alive today that weren’t. You might’ve inadvertently saved an ancestor of mine and allowed me to live!”
“Anyone could have done that,” Legend argued.
“And anyone could have failed,” Hyrule pointed out, “infinite timeline, infinite possibilities. I think it’s good to admit this, now you can move on.”
“I don’t know if I can!” Legend groaned, “every time I look at Time I want to punch him!”
“It’ll be slow,” Hyrule nodded, “but you know in your head that he isn’t to blame. You just need to change your heart. And, I think to do that, you need to...”
“No!”
“Please! You know Twilight’s already told Wild, and Time will immediately know something is off with them and find out.”
“Fine. Uncle, what have you gotten me into?”
So, Legend prided himself on many things. Being jealous, vengeful, and full of spite was not one of them.
Later that night, as Twilight glared at him, with Hyrule at his side, he handed Time the book. Time flipped to the bookmarked page and read, showing no emotion as he did. Silently, Time returned the book before speaking.
“It is an honor to have you in the family,” he smiled, “I’m sure Malon will be excited to learn about this.”
And, against his heart’s will, Legend was happy at the thought.
“This changes nothing between us, Old Man,” Legend smirked, “you owe it to Hyrule for me even telling you this.”
“Hey!” Hyrule protested, “you didn’t have to tell him.”
Time laughed, “oh, I know, kit.”
“Kit?” Legend knitted his eyebrows, “oh, no! You can’t give me a nickname like you did Twilight!”
“Would you rather bunny rabbit?”
How did he even know about that?! Ravio, you snitch!
Legend hid his smile, “kit it is then.”
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franticlittlegeek · 5 years
Text
Let me preface this by saying: This is not a personal attack on you if you love Nesta.
After spending a decent amount of time in this fandom I’ve noticed that Nesta Stan’s can be awful to people who don’t like her, I’m not saying that everyone who likes Nesta hates on anyone who doesn’t I’ve just seen a lot of hate been dished out over and opinion of a fictional character.
I admit, I don’t like Nesta.
That’s my opinion, please respect it and I’ll respect yours. I don’t need to hear/read all the things you love about Nesta. I can guarantee you, I’ve heard them all before and have still come to this conclusion myself. At this current moment my opinion can not be swayed.
I’ve created a list of many of the main reasons I dislike Nesta Archeron. No I didn’t do it to bash her character, no i didn’t do it to try and sway people over to the other side, no I didn’t do this as a personal attack, etc.
I simply wrote this list so that the Nesta stans can at least understand where the people who don’t like Nesta are coming from, instead of calling them ignorant, close-minded, etc. (all insults I have seen delivered to anti Nesta fans)
Read this or don’t, I don’t care. I just wanted there to be something for people to read so we may all better understand instead of jumping to hate others. I’ve seen multiple people being hated for expressing an opinion and honestly I’m sick of it.
1. It is heavily implied ( at least in my interpretation) that Nesta has been treating Feyre horribly since they were children, as in before their mother died and they lost all their wealth. It is inexcusable to be that mean and awful to someone, especially your sibling, for no reason ( At least, no apparent reason)
2. She disregards everything Feyre does as unimportant or not good enough. Nesta knowingly spends any extra funds on luxuries for herself instead of necessities for Feyre. Feyre busted her ass when she was a teenager just to keep her family safe and cared for, Nesta completely disregards this.
3. Despite treating her father horribly, she is still his favourite child. This really has nothing to do with her but it just rubs me the wrong way.
4. I would agree that Nesta being rude and standoffish to the other characters in the novel could be viewed as a coping mechanism and a side-effect from her upbringing, however it seems to me that Nesta goes out of her way to treat people who have been nothing but kind to her horribly. Rhys opens up his home to her, Cassian tries to help her, Feyre trying to befriend her sister, etc. she treats all of the previous characters maliciously when there really is no need too.
5. The whole scene when Feyre sees her sisters for the first time after turning High Fae. Nesta is openly degrading and bashing Feyre for something she had no control over and would have died without. Elain, while being skittish and afraid, still makes an effort to sit next to the very people she was taught to fear, because she’s her sister. Nesta does not give this same courtesy.
6. In addition to the previous point, many people probably say things like “At least Nesta opened up her home to them!” But she really didn’t. Feyre got them that house through Tamlin. Nesta did nothing to claim that as her home besides live in it.
7. I’m going to get a lot of hate for this one but, Nesta does not deserve Cassian. Now this one is less factual and more opinionated. I’ll respect your opinion on this but please respect mine. As I see it, unless their is a huge character shift in Nesta (and I mean huge) I can’t see their relationship being anything but Cassian helping her, Cassian giving things to her, Cassian supporting her, Etc. I can’t honestly see a relationship between them where Cassian isn’t giving nearly all the effort and getting next to nothing in return. Cassian has problems of his own, things he needs help and support with and I can’t honestly see Nesta giving that to him.
8. One thing I see a lot in Nestas defence is the fact Nesta thought about going across the wall after Feyre was taken. But Nesta only thought about it and ultimately decided that saving her sister was not worth endangering herself. And I’m not saying that Nesta should be a selfless character, but I personally don’t believe Nesta thinking about helping Feyre serves as a reedeamable quality.
9. I also don’t want to say Nesta should be a perfect character, devoid of any flaws. None of the characters in this series are flawless, it’s one of the things I love about them. With that being said, Nesta has next to no reedeamable qualities, other than her love and protectiveness over Elain.
10. Nesta is not “misunderstood” she is not “misguided” she is abusive. While there may be reasons contributing to her abusive behaviour, this does not lessen the severity and excuse it. An abusive person is abusive, regardless of what caused them to behave that way.
11. A very common defence of Nesta is that “If she was a man every one in this fandom would love her!” Which is complete bullshit. Yes her behaviour towards drinking and one night stands would likely be more accepted but her abusive nature wouldn’t be. Both Tamlin and Nesta emotionally abused Feyre. Both Tamlin and Nesta verbally abused Feyre. Both are ABUSIVE. And yet Tamlin gets major hate (as he should) for these behaviours and this is not translated over to Nesta. Say what you want about this but you cannot convince me that Nesta is treated differently by the fandom for any reason other than she is the woman and for some reason many people don’t believe women can be abusive in the way men can.
12. So many people hate Rhys for not being overwhelmingly nice and open for Nesta. Nesta abused the love of his life for the years. Why should he show her any love when she’s been nothing but horrible to most, if not all, of his family. AntiRhys is quite often bullshit based on people trying to make excuses and coddle Nesta.
13. Nesta is a grown adult and should act like it. She throwns hissy fits and tantrums like a teenager and can’t seem to do anything by herself. If Feyre was not there to help her Nesta would have been dead a long time ago because of her unwillingness to do anything for anyone.
14. I won’t deny that Nesta has issues, she is obviously struggling with depression and PTSD and there is nothing wrong with that. That being said these are not excuses for abusive behaviour.
15. “The IC slut shamed Nesta!” They really didn’t, Feyre at the very base of it all is concerned and worried about her sister, despite how horrible Nesta was to her. And are we not going to mention Nesta slut shaming Feyre for sleeping with Isaac?
16. Nesta isn’t some Strong willed Badass, most of Nestas power over the other characters comes from tearing them down. Nesta isn’t strong, strength is not hurting someone to prove you’re better.
TL;DR- Nesta is abusive.
I am aware many of these points are essentially the same thing. They all root back to the same thing after all, Nesta is abusive.
I don’t need people to agree with me, frankly I don’t care, I’m just so sick and tired of people forgiving Nesta for unforgivable behaviours.
I know Nesta is going to get a redemption arc and it sickens me, why not give one to Tamlin too! And Eris! And Keir! And Ianthe! And every other abusive prick in the series!
I’d also like to clarify I am NOT Antisjm or antiACOTAR, I personally love Sarah J Maas and the ACOTAR series and I think that it’s more realistic to have abusive characters.
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smallrunningmachine · 4 years
Note
Can I get one for my boy, Henry? 😭😭 (Also I am loving all of your headcanons so much!!!)
Awwe, thank you! I’m glad you’re enjoying them! ☺️ Henry
I know that the show decided that Henry died, but seeing as that’s a downright stupid decision, I’ve elected to ignore it
He loves fishing but he’s practically never actually caught a fish. Therefore, he’s a chronic user of the phrase “this time I’ll catch one”.
So he gets home safe and well, and definitely realizes how much he missed his wife
He’s the kind of grandfather who accidentally swears around the kids so much that you start to wonder if it’s accidental (I swear, it is)
Since I don’t have an awful lot of material regarding his life in the States, these hcs are mainly going to revolve around his time in Korea
You know how Hawkeye makes the joke about hiding under the porch when his draft board came looking for him?
Well, Henry, reluctant leader he is, actually tried that
He HATES phone calls with a passion, so he either acts like a sick-up or like he’s completely disinterested (which he usually is)
He has been the victim of so many of Hawkeye and Trapper’s pranks that it’s amazing he doesn’t have his own live-in bomb squad yet
Sometimes he gives Frank tasks that sound important but are utterly meaningless just so he’ll buzz off for a bit
Once he returns home, he sends a letter to Potter welcoming him to the 4077th
He also leaves a note in his desk addressed to “the next CO of the 4077th” complete with tips and life hacks from a man who has seen it all
Included on the list: “Klinger will insist that he’s crazy. Whether or not he actually is should be left to your own discretion.”
Also: “If Major Burns ever gets discharged, send me a letter so I can die happy”
He’s a better surgeon than the show gives him credit for being
He arrived in Korea even more squeaky-clean than BJ, but that clearly didn’t last
Radar is very much a son to him
Really the entire 4077th are his dysfunctional adult kids
When he gets home, he and Margaret send each other letters and become sorta-friends
When she retires she outranks him and he’s very proud of that
In more concise terms: Henry lived and I don’t take criticism.
(I couldn’t recall any fun facts on McLean Stevenson; my apologies!)
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bi-dazai · 5 years
Text
BSD Episode 27 Analysis
Hello! Natalya back with my second instalment of my episodical analyses of BSD. This week I’ll be looking at episode 27 from the lens of a more platonic soukoku than last week, which was about explicit romance coding in terms of double-entendre and visual imagery. You can find that post here. I would suggest reading it, because I may indulge myself in romantic soukoku in this post a bit, although it will only be a side-track.
A note before we begin, however – I’m writing this in a much more casual academic tone, and I’m not using lowercase and internet casual as I did in my previous post. This is because it helps me enunciate my points in a way that doesn’t make me look like a crazy person. I also made quite a few grammatical errors, typos, and strange sentences. This tends to happen when I write long-form internet casual. For the sake of clarity, you’ll have to put up with the tone I usually place in a more casual academic setting such as my university tutorials.
So as usual I’ll pick out a few moments to focus in on to explain an overall general subtext and underlying message etc in the episode. For this episode, I’ve picked the opening in which Chuuya kicks the gun out of Dazai’s hand, and the scene in which our two other Sheep members are introduced.
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This episode I’m going to focus on the way the episode expresses the burgeoning, newborn perceptions of Dazai on Chuuya and vice versa. I’m also going to be referring to moments that count as SPOILERS, so if you care about that then careful going forth, or perhaps wait until the Fifteen adaptation is finished before coming back to this post and reading it.
Also, for this episode I’ll be diving into my writing major and only partially into my film studies minor. I’ll have you know I pull out my textbooks and lecture notes every time I make an analytical post like this, haha!
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So let us begin with the opening moments of the episode. This episode, structurally, is where we finally start diving past the surface of the introduction and right into the story of Dazai and Chuuya. This is the proper introduction of their relationship. So this first fight sequence serves to demonstrate the tone with which we will begin.
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So here we have some classic establishing character writing. Step 1: Introduce the base characteristics of your characters. Step 2: Introduce a problem. Step 3: Explore how they interact with the problem.
So here we witness not just Chuuya and Dazai’s unique takes on how to deal with this problem, we also have their own perceptions of each other’s actions to explore. Remember – this story is about the two of them as a pair, not just as individuals.
So here we have our problem – an armed soldier has just appeared and is clearly threatening violence. Chuuya reacts by taunting – “Oi, old man. Let’s save us both some time.” Dazai is surprised by Chuuya’s brazenness (see the expression animated in the first SC). Chuuya taunts the opponent a little more, edging and encouraging danger, clearly seeking a fight. Dazai approaches. Walking calmly past, he says to Chuuya without regard for the armed soldier, “…you could just trick him to get some information out of him.” Here we have the set-up of Dazai and Chuuya in a problem. Chuuya sees a problem as a threat and escalates to a physical altercation; Dazai sees a problem as an opportunity and prefers mental cunning.
As the scene continues on however, we begin to recognise a similarity in Dazai and Chuuya, and that is that they have little regard for the problem. They understand how powerful they are and their upper hands (Chuuya his ability and Dazai his intellect). Even when they talk to a grown adult man wielding a gun, they talk down to him. When he holds a barrel to their heads within deadly range, they aren’t fazed:
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And, of course, in this exchange here both Dazai and Chuuya both are shown to be knowledgeable of underground groups, networks, and goingsons. Keep in mind Chuuya is the ‘King of the Sheep’ and acts pretty much as their leader and later becomes Executive before Dazai does. And Dazai is Mori’s protégé, frequently set up to be the next Boss of the mafia to the point that Mori is fearful that Dazai would have taken his seat sometime soon if he hadn’t broken him (further) with the death of Odasaku. Chuuya and Dazai, despite their differences, are the most dangerous people in the underground right now, they’re clever and powerful. Chuuya may be the ‘brawns’ in their physical fights, but off the battlefield anyone interacting with them is subjected to two intensely intellectual and cunning people who are deadest on a goal. This is also shown at the end of the episode with their conversation with Randou, somewhat in Episode 21 when Chuuya isn’t beating the shit out of the Guild.
In short – they are different, yet incredibly similar. They have different views on a situation, but given the same goal they will work towards it in differing ways with equal success. They are the perfect rivals, and the perfect counterbalances to each other’s personalities and ethos’s. In My Hero Academia, Bakugou’s desire for victory and Midoriya’s pure heart and established as traits which each one must learn from the other to become both better heroes and better people. In Bungou Stray Dogs, Chuuya and Dazai work with and against each other and transform each other into better people.
And so, that is where this moment comes in:
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(Sidenote: Chuuya’s line here translates roughly as “It’s useless to shoot dead bodies.” Don’t ask how, but I know that because of Jojo’s.)
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(ignore this repeat sc, tumblr editor is being fucky)
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(Second sidenote: Look. Look how close they’re depicted in this shot.)
(Third sidenote: sorry for quality drop – Australian internet is special.)
So here we have our first instance of one half of Soukoku directly challenging and changing an aspect of the other half. Here, Chuuya notices how clearly sick Dazai is. Furthermore, if we refer to our second SC (where Dazai’s expression makes me want to cry), we can see parallels to a certain future (ongoing) mental health arc:
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I bring this up because we later find out that the reason Akutagawa is so violently driven is that he was constantly demeaned and psychologically abused by his mentor – Dazai. Akutagawa becomes not an antagonist but another protagonist upon meeting Atsushi [insert shin soukoku summary here] and bettering himself. He makes a pact not to kill anyone and begins working together with Atsushi (he used to be a lone wolf – a stray dog). Atsushi also learns to be confident and put a foot down from Akutagawa. But the point here that we need to focus on, of course, is that Akutagawa is seen as utterly deranged, violent, and demonic in the first season, but later we realise that he is in fact capable of empathy but was extremely battered by his own mental abuse.
We also see this expression on Fitzgerald as he begins to lose control. It’s another tie-back to Akutagawa (and in a small part Atsushi, but I’ll leave that for later when I analyse that episode). And we see it in Shibusawa in Dead Apple. We see this expression and through the stylistic language of Bungou Stray Dogs we come to understand it as not the depiction of someone to be reviled but the depiction of someone who is struggling inside.
So here, when we see Dazai make that expression, we know that Dazai may be a seemingly totally apathetic, suicidal, amoral mafioso who just went utterly crazy while shooting a dead guy in the head, but we know it is because, currently, Dazai is extremely, extremely depressed.
In thinking of Akutagawa and understanding what we know of Dazai’s past with Mori, it is safe to assume that Mori has not once opposed nor done anything to help Dazai with his mental illness. Mori has, in fact, utilised Dazai’s mental illness as a tool and a strategy to keep Dazai close.
And then the light finally comes in, and Chuuya kicks the gun out of Dazai’s hands, Dazai gets scolded, and finally someone is forcing Dazai to question himself.
So let’s move onto the vice versa of this scene. I’d like to give partial credit for this next piece of analysis to user @bluelancelion who wrote up an excellent little piece on this scene [https://bluelancelion.tumblr.com/post/184330424612/okay-so-we-all-know-that-dazai-is-manipulating-the]. [this is where the spoilers start to come into play!] Please go read that before you move on with my post here, because I’m going to expand on some points, however I don’t want to summarise something that’s already perfectly written anyway so I’m leaving that one to some assigned reading!
Ok.
So as OP stated, this is the first scene in which Dazai doesn’t put up a play act to hide his own feelings. Let’s actually go backwards when analysing this scene:
DAZAI: “Lay off him already. He has the ability to choose for himself how to use his power. Even a kid could figure out that much.”
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I’ve attached this because that’s a stark contrast to this:
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Both in expression and in dialogue, Dazai is already different. And here we have Dazai for probably the first time in his life using his intellect to set up a ploy for someone else’s benefit and not just his own.
[ROMANTIC SOUKOKU SIDETRACK: Dazai has been shown to canonically be a selfish person, especially in his Port Mafia days. Expanding on my theory expressed in my episode 26 post in which I posited Dazai has feelings for Chuuya that he either understands or doesn’t just yet, this could be both out of his feelings for Chuuya urging him to do something to make Chuuya happy (We can also add to this by mentioning how he just lets the Sheep hostages go. Chuuya is only meant to be working with the Port Mafia temporarily – Mori may have his plans but these are a long time coming at this point. Chuuya is still attached to Sheep and releasing hostages gives him much more of an excuse to ditch the mafia totally), and/or his feelings urging him to do something to keep Chuuya to himself. This is especially interesting considering this little interchange (she’s looking at Dazai):
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Yeah that’s either 1) double-entendre or just 2) straight up explicit romantic competition. It’s after this that Dazai stops going along playfully with them and starts straight up demeaning them and saying Chuuya can do what he wants without their input.
I’ll end my RSS (Romantic Soukoku Sidetrack) with a sneak into Chuuya’s side:
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Make of that what you will.]
*another kinda pointless sidenote: chuuya’s sheep male friend refers to chuuya as ‘omae’ [derogatory when used towards a person who isn’t your subordinate (i.e. teacher to a student; boss to an assistant etc) which is pretty damn brazen considering Chuuya can snap him in two at a moment’s notice and that Chuuya is probably the only reason their gang is still even alive.
 Okay, Romantic Sidetrack done! Now back to our analysis. We’re moving on to our final scene of the episode. Before we get into the soukoku analysis, I just wanted to point out this little frame here:
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For those who don’t know, the founder of the ADA is this cat. He wasn’t always a cat (I think?), but in Bungou Stray Dogs as we know it, he’s a cat. The cat has been seen frequently in scenes involving flashbacks to Dazai’s time in the mafia and often when Fukuzawa is trying (so hard) to feed cats. It’s also worth mentioning there’s a tradition of cats in Japanese literature, often about observing the world and realising things about yourself by observing it. If you want an anime example, go watch My Roommate Is A Cat. It functions in pretty much the same way. Anyway, here’s a fun aside in which Fukuzawa realises the cat is the ADA leader, “Come!”, and the ADA leader promptly rolls around the floor chasing feathers while going “nyan nyan nyan”: [picture not my own]
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Okay where was I before I got sidetracked by a cat? Right. Soukoku.
We get a bit of Dazai gloating about getting rid of his romantic competition Sheep’s constant hold on Chuuya, before Randou asks Dazai to please shut the fuck up about the guy he literally met that week and please just send me to the execution room I don’t think I can take any more of this kid going on about Chuuya. (Understandable, have a nice day | わかりました。良い一日を過ごしてください。) 
So we get a bit of Dazai’s explanation on why Randou is the culprit before we hear that all-too-familiar screech of Chuuya coming in hot. Let’s pause it there.
We’ve never, ever heard Chuuya yell like that without Corruption. Yet he does it now. This 1) ties Corruption in with our current mystery about Arahabaki (spoiler: Corruption is Chuuya allowing Arahabaki full reign over the god’s vessel (Chuuya)) and 2) makes us aware that the Chuuya we’re familiar with from our current knowledge of the anime (I use the anime because that’s what I’m analysing) is a little different from fifteen-year-old Chuuya. Okay, so keep that in mind, and we’ll keep going, fast forward a bit until this final bit after the credits:
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[this shot: Chuuya has journeyed towards Randou. There is something tying Chuuya and Randou together that Dazai is not quite part of. Spoiler: Randou as we know is Rimbaud, who is a key factor in Chuuya’s development (hat) and the Arahabaki investigation.]
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[this shot: First, we think back to Dazai, Akutagawa, Fitzgerald, Shibusawa. Those expressions are similar, but there’s something really wrong here. Let me tell you want it is. Mainly, visually the pupils of Chuuya’s eyes are inverted. But secondarily, we’ve already been visually warned just over ten minutes ago, first by this scene in which we cut to Chuuya while we talk of Arahabaki’s eyes (it does cut also to Dazai, but his expression is one of “I’m figuring out a mystery” and his eyes are obscured. This shot of Chuuya lingers on Chuuya’s eyes, pulling focus to them and the expression on his face.)
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Secondly, Chuuya’s eyes are the colour of the sea that Randou talks about. And, of course, in this shot we see not only the sea but also the light of Chuuya’s ability plainly:
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So there we have a burgeoning relationship between Chuuya and Randou, and a hint that we are going to be discussing Chuuya’s relationship with Arahabaki and with himself as its vessel.
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And then we have this – Dazai did not know any of this. This is foreign to us – the Dazai we know has predicted almost everything. He even predicted Odasaku’s death. But here, he’s totally out of his depth. He’s dealing with gods now. He expected the main part of their investigation to end a few minutes ago when Chuuya explained how Randou staged the resurrection of the previous Boss. But now we, with Dazai, are being thrown headfirst into something clearly very much a Chuuya thing. And now we will see whether Dazai sticks or leaves with a plot involving an actual fucking god of destruction (we know what happens. He does).
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And so, to finalise: This episode set up relationships. It set us up to the fact that this story is going to be about relationships, and more specifically about these ones:
- Dazai and Chuuya
- Dazai and Sheep
- Chuuya and Sheep
- Chuuya and Randou
It directs the audience to consider events, framing, characters etc within the contexts of these relationships in order to appreciate the story properly.
And yeah it also sets up that Dazai is a bit of a jealous bitchy bisexual.
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argylemikewheeler · 5 years
Note
Okay, why are the queer coded characters getting possessed?! Not to mention they’re both named William. I’m now convinced possession in this show is an allegory for the AIDs epidemic. Thoughts?
ANON THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING AND YOU’VE FINALLY GIVEN ME A PLATFORM TO POP OFF O H MY GOD.
So, I’ve popped off with this post (slightly off-center to your point but still about Will and Billy being queer coded) but here we GO. This is all just me thinking out loud so work with my mess I’m sorry:
Possession being an allegory for AIDS? I don’t completely think that’s too far out there, honestly. Even just initially thinking about it, I’m drawn to the way the kids interact with the monster and the adults do. For example, Will has True Sight and a fear of being re-possessed and taken back to the Upside Down-- which I kind of argue is the “upside down” way your life gets after you realize this whole time you’ve been gay. Will’s “True Sight” is an outside fear of knowing that that’s his community, those are his people getting sick and he’s scared, but can’t say why. He can help the group in seeing the monster, but he can never say why. No. Never tell. He realized who he was but now, that’s pushed down. He closed the gate.
In the same way, the teenagers in season 1 literally summon the monster with blood. [There’s also something I won’t really say because idk how much it really matters but, the fact that Nancy and Jonathan always have sexual tension while fighting the demogorgon is wild to me, but go off I guess]
Now, to have both Williams get possessed really... sets something up for me. Whether they meant it or not, I’m enjoying the idea that they are showing the different ways of internalizing homophobia. Will is possessed young and now has this with him (I won’t say it’s supposed to be the virus, but more so the awareness like I said) to carry forward. Billy though, is possessed far later in life. He’s already angry at everything else in his life-- and then this dawns on him. Or with all the news he sees on the TV, the possession is his own undeniable awareness that he’s at risk.
Also consider, before this, Billy’s never been to the Upside Down. He’s never had the “upside down” re-evaluation that happens when you accept who you are, or at least say it out loud. Will went and had everyone come and save him. His mother rescued him and told him she loved him. Will knows he’s safe if he ever came out, but it’s still scary. It’s still Hawkins whether upside down or not. But Billy? He’s never touched it. He’s never come close to admitting who he is, if that’s what they’re planning him to be. He just gets possessed.
He’s able to stay right side up, not look at his life for what it might be/really is, and gets this fear of risk, of having everyone find out he’s gay because he gets sick, (which was a really terrifying and terrible reality and I don’t want to sound like I’m belittling that at all). But in not ever “going” to the upside down, it shows maybe (?) a refusal to admit, so then possession and the fear of his risk becomes anger. Billy is just going to light the entire town in flames because fuck that shit town. California to Hawkins? Oh boy. That’s a change.
Will is saved because the people around him fight his initial urges to cut himself off-- ignoring the he likes it cold and his family sitting around and telling him he’s loved and that it isn’t bad to be himself (the rainbow ship, MIKE for the love of god). But Billy? He doesn’t want help. He wants to hurt people because he’s fucking angry-- from other things of course, but he’s decided he’s going to be a destruction to the world. And then he becomes that.... I mean? End you, your friends, then everyone else? That’s... That’s a pandemic folks.
But this is also me going Full English Major on this ask. Maybe this wasn’t coherent. I’ll think it all out again after the season is up. Come back. I’ll review my thesis, anon xo
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