#im not from the us ask

[inkskinned]

love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

#writeblr #warm up #ps edited so it is more clear where “half” of men is coming from: #15% literally don't even touch water #an ADDITIONAL 35% ''wash'' by just running their hands under water WITHOUT SOAP #15+35 =50% #like that is not washing ur hands. go back and use soap #btw the numbers for women are 4% never washing and 15% ''just water'' #which is still gross but like. sooo much better yikes #ps i know we're all gay on this site but watching ppl ''correct'' my math on this has been wild #i have a learning disability im genuinely bad at math so i check EVERY time someone corrects me #but no they're just confidently wrong..... #182 hours is a week babes. 182/24 (number of hours in a day) is ~7.6 #that's where i got that number from. also from rent we know there's 168 hours in a week. #ALSO btw if u read this and ur response is ''men are also struggling rn tho'' like babe you missed the point of it tho #this doesn't even make fun of men it's legit just pointing out that bigotry against women isn't founded #in anything men actually CARE about . like they don't actually CARE about ''being clean'' when they make fun of armpit hair #or they would be WASHING THEIR HANDS. #men pretend to be rollin' in cash and Apex Predators and instead they are trained to be lazy and unwilling to act in emergencies #i have never and will never make fun of men for asking for more support on important topics like DV and mental health. #this is so clearly not about men; it's about how common just being plainly misogynistic has become. #like they don't try to hide it anymore.

[kkoct-ik]

absolutely insane i get to draw headscarves again

#kostik draws #secret life #secret life fanart #goodtimeswithscar #gtws #gtwscar #fanart #hes so prettyyyyyyyfnfbhhf #using every muscle in my body to hold back from gushing about how much i need him #whatever !!!!!! #i love drawing patterned scarves. hes just like meeeeeee #gnc king. kisses his forehead. sends him out to the masses #update tumblr killed the quality on click im devastated . its ok im fine . doesnt even get to me #if you want a higher quality face for pfp send me an ask thumbsup

[krazieka2]

I've played the Fire Emblem Husbando Dating Simulator Games

#what is it about flawed media that makes fanart so compelling #awakening was a much stronger game than fates but i wanted to draw Corrin more than Robin #sometimes... things that are better written... are harder to draw funny doodles for rip #carrying over my posts from twitter choo chooooo #this one was posted to twitter so long ago im so sorry #anyway favorite protag: Shez #she's so stupid and explicitly so #If I were to rank the games... hm.... #Houses for character writing but Engage for gameplay #Fates for map design #Awakening has the strongest core story I think #and Hopes has Shez #so there are no clear winners #i know there's going to be ppl asking where the other femc's are #answer: i cannot play as Kris in the west so i dont know her she's a stranger #secret confession i have no idea why anyone would use the friendship seals in fates i dont get them #also i still think Alear asking OG Army Breeder Sigurd how he feels about eugenics is funny thank u #fe3h #fe awakening #fe fates #few3h #byleth #corrin #shez #alear #there is no way robin has her own tag

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript:

EW.

Machine, what the fuck?

That’s so gross! That’s so disgusting!

What’s wrong with you machine?!

Why are you like that?

It’s- it’s kinda hot though. Do it- do it again.

Audio source

#gabriel ultrakill #ultrakill #machine guts 😳 #haha noo dont remove your plating and ask me to feel you from the inside haha omgg what if someone sees us #COUGHS. anyway............................................... im back from da jungle #what did i miss

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Danny is just a kid ya know? Like he is just a little guy. A baby really. 14? Tiny child! Look at him, he needs to be protected. Someone has to help this poor little dude. I mean he forgets to use his own powers to avoid attacks all the time.

Anyway cut to Batfam not knowing all of Dannys power set cause the lil dingus keeps forgetting he can do that stuff in the heat of battle.

Danny uses his invisibility all the time… to avoid being followed. But in a fight? Oopsies hes too busy thinking of funny one liners to realise he could do that.

Intangibility? Give the guy a break. I mean who calls themselves condiment king. Even he was stunned.

He so rarely actually uses his biggest advantage powers that the League doubt he actually has them. He, like any naive child, trusts them and reported fully on his power set. Instead of just asking him to demonstrate his powers they instead start watching him and try to find evidence of his powers.

At least they know duplication was true since they watched him make a copy of himself to go to the bathroom and not miss any of his fav tv show.

#danny phantom #dp x dc #dpxdc #im 100% here for danny using his powers for stupid shit and not the important battle stuff #this post wasn’t meant to be like this so I guess heres for you guys who read my stupid tags #I was gonna have the batfam adopt danny after a reveal and just not know all the crazy stuff he can do #they think they got him figured out then at the manner he does something like seep into the floor to get his forgotten school bag #or he turns invisible cause he got caught parnking and bruce is talking to him and steph but he just dips #no wait I can do better. he gets yelled at by bruce (aka new father figure) for eating a corn chip off the floor and just vanishes from… #… from getting surprised. meanwhile bruce is like!?!?!?!!? #just imagine them going crazy because they have no idea his powerset and they thought they did #his new siblings make a game of it #they get on missions and keep asking danny to do more and more impossible stuff just to see if he will reveal a new power #hey danny go scope out the area but make sure you arent seen ok #and hes like sure thing fam and goes invisible and intangible #doesn’t think to just take out the baddies and returns to them with a full floor plan and locatikn of all the baddies and drugs #like wtf #hey danny think you can do anything about that generator? and hes like sure thing fam and then freezes it #danny bro this guy is out of control! little help? and danny just walks up to the guy and overshadows him and handcuffs himself #brother daniel I dint think we can get in but theres a small hole here in the wall #would you be able to do anything about that? and instead of just walking thru the wall danny shifts his body and goes thru the hole #as if he had no bones and became liquid #the game gets intense and breaks bruce so he gives in first (yes he was playkng too) and just asks danny to show them his powers #he will say some shit like ‘ah hey chum think you can show us all your abilities? that was we can coordinate better in the field.’ #dannys just like ‘yea daddio sure thing’ then proceeded to show off his entire move set minus wail until bruce showed him a chamber… #… that could ‘with stand’ his power (spoiler he destroyed that fucking toom lmao) #ok my spaghetti rings and meatballs have been done for a while and juliet is trying to eat them out the microwave so hopefully these tags #fed yall goobers #man I should have just made a second post lmao #stood in the kitchen too long typing and they got cold

[hyunpic]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HYUNJIN 🖤

#hyunjin #skz #bystay #staydaily #gifs #stray kids #love u with every fiber found within me. no one has ever impacted my life quite like you #i will be thinking about you even at the ends of the world #I WILL NEVER LET U GOOO O OO OO. OOOOOH my everything forever and ever like we are 4lyfers for real #if he asked i would hand pick stars from the sky for him just like flowers #😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞❤️❤️ #idk why im getting so emotional rn like woah hh h woahhh woahhh #ive never been more proud and excited to be a fan of someone #the passion love and care u put in to everything u do is unmatched and #im looking forward to future knowing how u want to improve at things u love #even though to me u are perfect rn as u are #but the thought of u wanting to show us even greater things in the future makes me vibrate #thank u for being u and bringing light and love to my life every day 🥹 #i hope the whole universe brings u all the love back u give to it #YIPPIEEEWW MIGHT OF SHED A TEAR #HAPPY BDAY MY LOVIEEEEEEEEE ILYYYYYYY

[blueskittlesart]

how would you redesign the ancient hero’s aspect

catboy

#aside from the obvious catboy changes (lol) i removed all the gold from his design bc i think it looks bad #i assume the gold is there to make us think gerudo? but imo the red hair does that on its own anyway #and. well. im a big fan of 3-color palettes and keeping it to red-orange-green just works better here. imo #asks #skribbles #totk

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

if you struggle with mental health, one piece of advice i would genuinely give you is learn to knit.

or crochet: something repetitive to do with your hands, assuming you're capable of it. if you're like me and learnt to knit as a kid but let it lie fallow for a long time, it may be that starting a large, simple project (for me it was a cloak, but a blanket could work too) gets you back into it. or maybe doing something smaller, idk. i personally found socks really hard for a while because they felt smaller than my cloak but weren't getting Done quick enough for me. as i've sped up i find it more interesting to knit socks.

regardless, a repetitive task is great for emotional regulation (also see: autistic stimming), and something that you can look at and go hey i've done something, unlike simply using a fidget toy, can also help to pick your mood up when the brain is being cruel.

it's also useful as a conversation starter or distracter if you don't know what to talk about. if you're wanting to talk to older people also you're more likely to reel them in with knitting (i work better with older people, and 99% of people who ask what i'm knitting are older than me). it also gives you the opportunity to not make eye contact because you're busy knitting, even if you're still carrying on a conversation. if you're absolutely stuck for conversation you can count your stitches and people might stop bothering you.

if you have trouble focusing without doing something with your hands, you can knit! i knit a lot in church, and it helps me to focus on what's being said.

i probably have more reasons you should pick up knitting, but i can't recall them right now, so yeah.

#knitting #catkin knits #i remember one specific time back in october where i was sitting in Bible class utterly unable to stop the most horrible thoughts going #through my head. i was knitting as fast as i've ever knitted. no exaggeration to say i was knitting to stop myself from attempting to die. #and afterwards i sat there in the corner knitting for all i was worth. just repeating to myself 'not now. i am not killing myself now.' #and someone saw me in the corner frantically knitting and came to ask if i was ok. and asked how my mental health was. #must've been end of oct bc it was the first wednesday after i was out of psych ward. and i was having lots of thoughts about the method #i'd used for what is still my most recent suicide attempt. which was in october. and i had the means with me. #it would have been a horrible thing to do. to kill oneself at Bible class. with children around. but i wasn't in a particularly hinged stat #of mind at the time. that's approximately the only clear memory i have of that time in fact. #anyway idk why im thinking of that rn when im fine

[cozylittleartblog]

here comes the boy ~ hello boy ✨

cleaned up a couple of the vash doodles i did while learning to draw him :)

#trigun #trigun 98 #vash the stampede #anime #doodles #art #dat me #my friend phoenix was visiting from portland almost the whole last week it was really fun !!! i did not open PS for a week FJHBGDBHJDFG #how do i draw again... what is a tablet.... i forgor ..... #i have seen TWO trigun fans in public this weekend. a guy at the bookstore with a vash pin on his lanyard + someone at the local arcade #who had a PUNISHER ITA BAG ??? COOL AF??? the arcade was also full of furries for some reason. which was cool but i've never seen it before #girl the arcade is hot enough as it is if you're wearing a fursuit in an arcade you are braver than any us marine #I WAS SO SAD I LEFT MY PURSE (ALSO AN ITA BAG) IN THE CAR FOR THE ARCADE BECAUSE I HAVE A VASH PIN IN IT ..... #please ask me about my ita bags... please ask me about my pins.... i am insane about my pins...... #my brother and i are going to indie pop con in 2 weeks if i dont find some cute trigun 98 stuff i will riot #i am relentlessly vashposting on main. i will draw other characters i swear but he is my favorite #any character where i go 'there is something so so so wrong with him' is my favorite EVERY TIME #im just happy to be drawing again honestly #i got about a month before anime central so i am just trying . to VIBE. for the first time in months

[creekfiend]

I used to draw these all the time in high school. I called them Indeed Cats

#they can say one word only and its indeed. #I used to post them all over deviantART and someone asked me if they could get a tattoo of one ones so somewhere out there. is someone #with a tattoo of an indeed cat. from 20 years ago. #pip art #im practicing my gorey backgrounds lol

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.'' #bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less. #and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help. #we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

[heartorbit]

a mob of emus for an artstyle game on twt! ^_^

#project sekai #emu otori #the usernames are all their public twts so if you use that evil platform check out their art ^_^ #many of them are on here with the same users even.. be gone from my sight vile bird #the one on the bottom right is Mine but ive never had an artstyle in my life so it may not be obvious to the viewers. sorry. #pjsk #prsk #proseka #only my beautiful mutuals beautiful art can make me do LINEART #i was going to ask on here but realized i dont have mutuals bc this is a side blog. sniffle. hell on earth #I dont have much to scream in the tags. semester is almost over. Im sleepy. I designed emu a huge seord for an assignment #but the 3d model turned out Bad. it looks ok from the top but you turn it and see Problems. #its been a month or so since i modelled that and i have gotten better so i want to try again with no time crunch + pressure #its a fun looking sword. magical girl sword type shit #EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT THE LITTLE PRINCE WXS STUFF I END UP AWAKE UNTIL 3AM BECAUse it GETS TO ME #WAAAAAAAAAUHGH. I HAVE CLASS IN 11 HOURS #GOODNIGHT. IT WILL BE AS IF ALL THE STARS WERE LAUGHING. #oh my god wait i did this this weekend bc i was like yaay i have a weekend without any assignments due #I just forgot abt one. Bc my email hasnt been working properly and didnt send me the reminder for it. i will spend my tuesdah drawing a gun

[puppyeared]

I just skimmed through the art part of your blog and holy bajeebus your LMK art is so beautiful and the headcanon ideas you come up with are so good I wanna steal em-

Kinda wanna see like a part 2 of the little angst you did between MK and Macaque a while ago. It's so interesting and I wanna see Macaque's reaction in your art style. (You don't have to of course, it's just a suggestion [idk if i spelled that right])

Thanks for reading and hope you have a good day/night!

Hope this is to your liking ^^

Part one here

#I’m sure there are some character nuances im forgetting but well 🤷🏽 #I want their misunderstanding or whatever they have going on between then come to a head. literally just going ‘wait what’ #for me I think it’s entirely possible that there was an actual fight and maybe tension leading up to that point #cause I feel like macaque is not just bitter about thinking he died to wukong but maybe some stuff that built up to that #maybe the fight was just the breaking point. maybe they’re idiots who don’t talk about it because they think they’re on the same page idk #chipper-smol wrote a cool theory abt them using macaques ‘you’re nothing’ line in s4ep1. from what I understand it could be a direct parall #parallel to when he said that to MK right before MK regained his nerve and hit macaque in the eye.. since flying bark foreshadowed monkey mk #waaaay back in season 1 (where his shadow is his monkey form in the opening) i think that could be deliberate #and they could have gotten billy to voice an entirely different line for that scene. but they reused his line from s3 #in a very specific scene with wukongs narrative foil. hm #that aside I would have liked to hear billy voice the ‘you abandoned me’ line that would have killed me. but that’s just me lol #also looking at this I should have shaded the last frame to make it look more dramatic and serious but I ran out of time :( #if anything I want to see MK try and help them get back together. poor kid tries so hard to understand people so I think it would be cool to #see that happen. that’s what I like about him.. he asked macaque why he was working for LBD instead of accusing him of dooming everyone bc #he wants to and he tried to comfort spider queen by admitting he was scared of LBD too 😭😭 #my art #myart #Lego Monkie kid #lmk #Monkie kid #lmk spoilers #Lego Monkie kid spoilers #lmk macaque #six eared macaque #lmk sun wukong #lmk swk #lmk MK #lmk xiaotian #lmk season 4 #Lego Monkie kid s4

[pilfappreciator]

Brandi and Bruce’s S/o looking after the bakers dozen on their own, what shenanigans occur?

Anon this is?? Literally so cute what the hell??? Also referring to them as the "bakers dozen" is so genuis sfhjjfdadfggh—

Reader & the Bakers Dozen: babysitting solo

Includes: GN! Reader, mentions of polyamory, mentions of Vacay Lovers, slightly Parental! Reader, the Bakers Dozen

CW: Bruce Jr.

🍪 POV: your partners go off to some fancy convention to promote their business, leaving you to watch after all 13 of their kids. Chaos ensues

🍪 These little shits are already a lot to handle, so when you suddenly find yourself being the only adult in the house responsible for them? Yeah, babes, you've definitely got your hands full

🍪 Luckily, you've spent enught time at the Vacay Lovers household that things are at least a little easier for you lol

🍪 They definitely behave much better for you compared to other babysitters. Partly because you're smoochin their parents (and don't wanna get in trouble), and partly because they genuinely like you :3

🍪 But they're still little shits thru and thru, don't forget that

🍪 If they happen to have school? Chances are Bruce and Brandi already took care of their lunches and stuff before they left, so it'll be up to you to pick them up (WARNING: THE KIDS WILL TRY TO CONVINCE YOU TO GO ORDER AT THE NEAREST FAST FOOD PLACE! Unless you've got money for 13 happy meals, prepare to hit em with a firm refusal). Definitely helps if you blast some music in the van! They've kinda lost interest in Velvet & Veneer after learning the two literally tortured their dad and uncles...

🍪 Play Brozone. They'll go crazy and shout-sing along with Bruce's parts lol

🍪 Later in the day you can expect a few to come up to you for homework help. They might also wanna help with dinner, but fyi there WILL be a mess. Pasta sauce on the floor, flour all over the counters, stains on your clothes— the whole shebang

🍪 Want the least amount of casualties? Just let them set the table (no worries, all the plates and stuff are made of plastic ajdjakkala)

🍪 A few of them have some dietary restrictions tho so keep that in mind!! Luckily, you can always find a list of reminders/examples up on the fridge courtesy of lovely muppet wife Brandi <33

🍪 If the kids don't have school that day, then be prepared. You're gonna have very little time to yourself ://

🍪 Like they've each got their own interests and hobbies to keep them occupied, but sometimes they'll need you to reach somewhere up high, or for you to play tiebreaker/settle an argument, or they honestly just want you to join them for a game of hide and seek which???

🍪 "Aw, you sure you guys don't mind me joining in?"

"Yeah! Just cuz you're old doesn't mean you can't have fun, too!"

"...Gee, thanks :D"

🍪 They're merciless

🍪 They've all got their own set of chores they need to do. Each and everyone will try to worm their way out of them. All of them. Everytime

🍪 Sure, they can be a little hyper sometimes, but they're like 6-8 years old so that's expected. For the most part, they're all pretty chill

🍪 It's Bruce Jr. who you've gotta watch out for

🍪 He is a shit- stirer and I WILL FOREVER STAND BY THAT

🍪 This guy won't hesitate to rally his siblings into whatever plan he's been cookin in that feral little head of his. Prepare yourself because you're MOST DEFINITELY getting pranked. It's like a requirement or something

🍪 One nice thing i have to say about Bruce Jr. is that he's actually pretty resourceful. Like this little dude is using everyday household items like he's staring in his own Home Alone movie AKSJSJAKA—

🍪 Rest assured, tho, none of his pranks are seriously harmful or anything but like... at the end of the day, expect:

1) to be covered in craft supplies

2) your clothes/skin/hair a mess

3) to have one limb stuck in a bucket

4) all of the above

🍪 Honestly I feel like Bruce and Brandi would be surprised if they came back and DIDN'T find you sporting paint-stained clothes or with glitter in your hair. Maybe a few stickers slapped on your forehead??

🍪 The trick to dealing with this little agent of chaos is to either keep him separated from his siblings long enough so he doesn't manage to rope anyone into his schemes, or strike some kinda deal with him. Considering he's got 12 siblings, all of whom you need to be watching over at the same time, chances are the second option is your safest bet

🍪 Chances are he'll ask for something semi-illegal, or at the very least something that DEFINITELY requires adult supervision

🍪 DO NOT LET THIS BOY TALK YOU INTO BUYING ANYTHING RELATED TO FIRE. Seems like an easy task, I know. Unfortunately this little shit enherited his dad's charm so watch out o_o

🍪 He'll settle for a happy meal tho. Hopefully you didn't already cave and take him and his siblings out to eat earlier, otherwise you're spending even more money ajsjakkala

🍪 If any errands need to be run during your time there, you BETTER BELIEVE they're all coming with. You'll need to be incredibly vigilant during this time cuz these kids are even more rowdy in public than they are at home. If you're smart about it, you can turn the whole thing into a game! If everyone manages to grab everything off the grocery list in a certain amount of time or if they're able to find the best quality (but relatively cheap) brand of laundry detergent, then you'll buy each of them candy or something uwu

🍪 You can count on them to be cooperative, but like... bring the family child leash just in case

🍪 Cough cough (Bruce Jr.) cough cough

🍪 MOVIES BEFORE BED! It's a bit of a family tradition in the Vacay Lovers household. Yknow, just some way for the kids to spend time together before the day ends

🍪 You're most definitely gonna be playing tiebreaker when the time comes. All 13 of them have wildly different tastes

🍪 Absolutely no scary movies tho. They'll try to argue that theyre able to handle it, but at the end of the night expect to find yourself under a pile of frightened children who've ctawled into bed with you

🍪 Their collective nightly routine is literally?? So chaotic??? Like all of them are simultaneously trying to squeeze into the same bathroom just to brush their teeth... running in and out of their respective rooms... trying to sneak some extra dessert before bed

🍪 Literally never a quite moment in this household jshskakakam

🍪 You might have to read a few bedtime stories or sing a lullaby—

"Dad does it better"

"Just go to bed, Benji"

—but once they've settled in under the covers? Out like a light. They are unconscious the moment their heads hit their pillows

🍪 You'll probably have a mess (or two... or three) to clean up afterwards, but once they're taken care of? Dishes washed? Counters clean? You're more than welcome to crash on Bruce and Brandi's bed <33

🍪 Said couple returns home the next morning...

🍪 Just to find their kids drawing on your face with marker. Cross your fingers that none of its permanent 💀💀

Hope this was good! I know I call them all little shits BUT I MEAN IT AFFECTIONATELY OKAY AJSJAKA

Ngl I feel like this could have been like... more colorful? Like I was very general about the kids and their behavior as a whole, but now I'm super tempted to make a post describing each of them and all their little quirks! Just something fun to do that'll help me write them better in the future ;3

#anon i hope you know im using Bakers Dozen as an official term from now on #big brain move #love that for you <33 #i shall continue to slander bruce jr. till the grave #trolls #trolls band together #bruce trolls #brandi trolls #Vacay Lovers #Bakers Dozen #trolls x reader #brozone x reader #spruce trolls #x reader #headcanon #ask

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

wear headphones :)

Transcript:

As much as I'd love to witness more of your prowess, I'd very much like to have that body of yours.

Is that a strap-on?

Machine, I'll cover you in more than blood.

Fuck. *exhale* Shit. Fuck-God! mmmm-ohohoho. fuck. fuck. h-Harder, Machine. Mph! *whimper* Hah... Come on!

End transcription

Sorry for this. I promise this is the worst thing I'll ever post. Unless he somehow manages to do something worse.

I can't really provide the audio sources in a neat way because this is 6 clips stuck together.

#ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #gabv1el #WEAR HEADPHONES. PLEASE. PLS. SAVE YOURSELVES. #suggestive #<- if i use a 'stronger' tag than that im 99% sure the post gets shadowbanned from showing up in the tags? #never ask me for anything ever again. #why did he say any of this #i dont know. #surely this will make people unfollow #or will it do the opposite #at this point. i have no idea #animals. all of you. ANIMALS. its ok im one too. we're in hell (together) #i didnt make the gif im sorry all i know is that its from twitter #yeah sorry for the recycled audio. i only have the 2 whimper clips...... so far. #but the actual talking parts are all new #i want to see that angel obliterated. send tweet. #smiles. evilly. #i dont know about you guys but im normal #anyway #if he somehow ever finds out about this blog im krilling all of u............. pls............ #he cant know we are farming clips #(mostly joking) but yeah id prefer if this didnt spread past tumblr pls omg #we are past 700 followers now. idk what to say other than. wow. #ok surely no one is reading to this point. bottom gabe real. canon. true. thanks. #lets never speak of this again

[shower-phantom-ideas]

The Batman gets locked up in walkers prison! 😲

Walker left the zone to arrest him too why? Because clearly he is neglecting the child king! Smh. 😔 Walker greatly respects the rules but now that King Phantom is in place he respects something more. This child has brought order back to the zone (not really he kinda just wrote off some rules for Walker to enforce to get him out of his hair) and even after Walker imprisoned him too! So now hes back to his old ways of bending the rules to fit his whims. But this weird Bat Man person is deserving of a harsh punishment, that or a good thrashin’, for how hes done gone and treated their new King! Can’t the man tell the boy has a familial bond with ‘em? For cryin out loud the youngin already gave em core charm! No all the others can clearly see plain as day that hes apart of the boys family. (Danny made Batman an ice ward that helps protect from other ghosts… or so he thought oops it’s telling all the other ghosts that hes Danny fam)

Yet despite all this the man still is refusing to bring the kid into his fold. You don’t just go on and do that to a young one. Their King is only a baby and now this man has gone and ignored him like hes plans to go out to get some milk and never come back. Can’t he see how this is affecting his development? Walker wont have anyone doin that to his ghost King No Sir. Hes gonna education this man himself if he has to. Rehabilitation is something he can do. It’s within his jurisdiction after all.

#danny phantom #dp x dc #dpxdc #🤠 #discusting use of my og accent #I can get worse yall #me and walker are from the same part of the workd #hell #bruce has no idea danny basically imprinted on him and all of a sudden a ghost is here to tell him anout the child support he aint been pay #lmao he doesn’t get a choice to pay child support tho xD he will accept danny feelings #or walker is gonna lock him up xD how funny #im not worry for the emoji’s #I meant sorry but I guess I am sorry #walker just come in and: you can’t reject kids like that! #bruce is confused cause walker tells him danny is like hardly 2 years old #walker using his ghost age #now bruce is super worried about phantom because he doesn’t know about ghost age #oh god two you say??!? im horrible despicable #I asked a literal toddle to give me cover fire #oh god I let a baby get shot #OH GOD I ATTACKED AN ACTUAL BABY #danny just sneezes while sippin a smoothie unaware