#it fills me with so much joy that it's been 40 years and she's still the same ole Kiki

[ladykeyleth]

See if I can send a message to Keyleth. We're back. We're at the surface of the Malleus Key. Just trying to find a way to get back to you.

#criticalroleedit #critteredit #critical role #keyleth of the air ashari #keyleth #marisha ray #cr spoilers #c3e92 1h15m35s on twitch #mgifs #it fills me with so much joy that it's been 40 years and she's still the same ole Kiki #I didn't gif it but Matt's delighted giggle at his own shenanigans was so <333 #the man GETS HER so damn well

[rory-cakes]

A Buck and A Canary

What was she doing here?

Why was she smiling at him like nothing happened?

He left their child alone!

He let her die!

He lied to her!

It has been one week since the battle at the Habin Hotel. They were starting to finish the reconstruction of the hotel when something strange happened. An angel appeared. 

“Hello! My name is Y/n Altruist, and the higher-ups of heaven have sent me to oversee the progress of the hotel!” 

“THEY CHANGED THEIR MINDS!?” Charlie was practically vibrating with joy. 

“Why?” Vaggie asked skeptically. 

“Well, unlike before, we have proof that your hotel works! A certain serpent has shown up in heaven!”

“Sir Penitouse is alive!” everyone was filled with overwhelming joy. 

“Also”

Y/n bowed in respect. 

“I deeply apologize for the exterminations. They were never supposed to happen. Sera and Adam were working alone in that sense.” 

Charlie grabbed her hand and helped her back up. 

“So really, no one knew? How is that possible?”

“The seven virtues are the only defense against evil on Earth so they have their hands full with that, I’m afraid. I was at the meeting and I brought up the issue as soon as I could!”

“Why do you care so much about what happens to us? No offense, we’re really grateful you did what you did! But why?”

“Well, I'm afraid my answer is a little selfish. My husband is down here. He wasn’t a good man but he was a good husband and he would have been a good father hadn’t he died.”

How did an angel like her end up with someone down here?

Wait-

An angel like her?

“Im sorry, but what is your husband’s na-”

“Birdy?”

“Alastor?”

Alastor sat uncomfortably on the plush couch in his room. Y/n sat equally as uncomfortable in a chair of a similar design. You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. 

Alastor avoided making eye contact with his wife. I mean she had to know who he truly was at this point. How could she not?

“Alastor.”

She breaks the silence. 

“I’ve missed you dearly, my darling.”

Why was she smiling?

“I know what you did, and while I can’t say I’m pleased, that doesn’t change the fact that you are my husband.”

What?

“You cherished and loved me for so many years. You took care of me and Eudora. You loved me with everything you had.”

This isn’t right.

“So, if you haven’t stopped loving me in the time we’ve been apart,”

No

“I’d like to be your wife still.”

Alastor finally looked at his ethereal wife. She was so good. She shouldn’t be corrupted by his darkness. 

“I left her alone.”

“So did I.”

Y/n smiled at the man in front of her. This was her Alastor. This was the man she fell in love with. Sure, there were blazing red flags and she should probably be running for the hills. However, she can’t deny the urge to be with him. 

“I’ve been watching over her.”

“You have? How is she?”

“She’s lived a long life. She’s been married to her wife for about 40 years now. She adopted three kids and has a bunch of grandkids. She had her own radio show, Al!”

“She did?”

“She did.”

Y/n moves to sit beside him and grabs his hand with both of hers. Alastor finally pulls her closer,

“You deserve so much more than I am. I cursed you in life I can’t let you get hurt again.”

“You are all that I want, and if I get cursed because of it, that will have been my decision.”

She places her hand on his face, and he leans into it. 

“My darling Alastor, there is nothing you can do for me to stop loving you.”

“Alright, Birdy, I’ll have you for as long as you wish to stay.”

And so the Buck was reunited with his Canary.  

A/N: Hi! I hope you liked the last part of Alastor's Birdy! If you have scenarios you would like me to write with this au, just send me an ask and ill get to it as soon as I can!

Taglist: @crazed-flower, @nanamunath, @preferably-fictional, @eccedentesiast-sapphic, @leximus98, @cupidsgift, @mag-chan, @stygianoir, @thereeallink, @yelloeukulele, @mariaclarade-la-cruz1, blurpleuni-squid, @galaxywing-has-adhd, @just-here-reading, @deez-nuts0, @strawberry-gothic, @purplerose291,@1-800-mocha, @trashbin-nie, @queenmizuki, @nkirukaj @bennythebitch @otherthoughtsofbu, @fantasycantasy, @hunnybee11626, @notally-tormal, @valerie-36, @lovingyeet, @holographicage, @har-har-harvey, @i-love-jafar, @cupidsgift, @meow-meowo, @theblueslytherin, @deadt3tinside, @lyralibra, @the-unhinged-raccoon, @avitute, @alastorswifeee, @stygianoir, @sideshow-b0b, @deadlymouse123, @mysingularitybts, @emotionalfangirl2002, @t0xic1vi, @goodlittlepup, @starsatmyhome, @wendds, @reader3, @redfoxgotlost, @hurthermore, @frostychurro @isa-dragon

#hazbin hotel #x reader #x reader fic #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin alastor #alastor altruist #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #alastor x reader #alastor #rory writes #alastor x angel!reader

[tokkiwrites]

ㅡㅡㅡ in which you finally come home from college. it's been almost 4 years, and you're shocked to see how hot your dad's best friend has gotten ㅡ but he can say the same for you.

TW: dbf!joel miller (yeppeee), dom!joel, sub!reader, afab reader, age gap (reader is 23 n joel is in his mid 40s), rough sex, unprotected p in v (wrap that up yall), pet names (lots of em), no use of y/n (ik shocking), spit, choking, trying to have sex in secret (idk what you call that), oh yeah readers dads name is William but every1 calls him Will ok?? pls let me know if i missed anything!!!

You step off the bus, feeling a strange mix of nostalgia and anticipation as you gaze at the familiar sights of your small hometown. It's been four years since you last set foot in this place, and the memories flood back. You know you'll find your dad, Joel and Sarah waiting for you, but there's also that fluttering in your stomachㅡㅡ that secret crush on him that you've never quite been able to shake. As you walk down the street, you can't help but wonder how much things have changed.

Hopefully, not much.

As you approach your childhood home, you can't help but notice how the old oak tree in the front yard has grown taller, casting a welcoming shade on the well-worn swing that still hangs from its sturdy branches. Your heart flutters as you step onto the front porch, taking in the familiar scent of your dad's famous apple pie wafting through the screen door.

You open the door to find your dad, in the cozy kitchen, wearing his favorite flannel shirt as he carefully pulls a bubbling pie from the oven. His eyes light up when he sees you, and he rushes over to engulf you in a warm, tight hug. "You're finally home, sweetheart," he says, his voice filled with genuine joy.

Joel's daughter, Sarah, stands a few feet away, her eyes lighting up with a bright smile as she watches the reunion. "Welcome back!" she exclaims, stepping forward to give you a warm hug too.

And there he is, tall and way too massive. when did he get so big? ㅡㅡ you're not complaining, though. His hair has started to gray, and his beard is gruff... your eyes sparkle as you stare up at Joel, waiting for him to say something.

"welcome home, darlin'" he breaks the silence, your heart racing as Joel's deep, rich voice washes over you. he steps forward, embracing you warmly. his arms are strong, and you can't help but take a deep breath in as you inhale his musky scent that's almost intoxicating.

As he pulls back from the hug, you meet his warm, hazel eyes, the world almost stopping. You've always been drawn to him, all though you thought it was just a stupid kid crush but now, with the years of separation and growth behind you, that attraction only seemed to intensify as you get to look at him again.

you're brought out of your trance as your dad's voice echoes through the room "c'mon, kiddo. made your favorite: cinnamon apple pie!" You can't help but giggle as you see the sheer excitement in your dad.

"dad, you didn't need to."

"course i had to, you've been away for years, and i aint lettin you off that easy, girl."

You can't help but chuckle at your dad's enthusiasm, feeling a warm sense of belonging. "Well, in that case, I'm not going to argue with your logic," you reply with a playful wink. The scent of the freshly baked cinnamon apple pie fills the air, and it's a comforting reminder of the home you've missed so much during your time away.

"good thing you're home." Joel speaks up "now he can cook for you and not stuff me full of all his kitchen...experiments." his chuckle is low, making your heart thump. you nod, slicing up the pie and placing a piece each on four different plates, adorning every slice with some fresh cream.

"Oh, I think I've missed those kitchen experiments more than anything," you quip with a sly grin, sharing a secret look with your dad.

Sarah chimes in, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "We've been Will's taste testers for years, but now you're back to rescue us, right?"

You all sit around the kitchen table, enjoying the warm pie and the laughter that fills the room. It's moments like these that make you grateful for being back home, surrounded by the people you love, even if it does come with a side of unspoken desire for the one man who has always had a special place in your heart.

does that make it sound better than saying you want your dad's best friend to fuck you? maybe.

"god, can you believe it's been four years? feels like only yesterday i was givin' you piggyback rides." Joel smiles, eyes crinkled at the corners as he takes a sip of some bear. "hey, Sarah is still little, you can give her all the piggyback rides you wanna." you laugh.

"don't give him any ideas, girl." the teen furrows her brows as she takes a large bite from her pie. "actually, me 'n joel thought it would be a good idea if we had a movie night tomorrow, for old times sake. do you remember those? god, they were fun, huh?"

"dad! you're saying it as if I'm ancient... I ain't 40." Joel turns to you, raising his brows "careful, missy. don't discriminate against 40 year olds." your cheeks light up as your eyes meet his, unable to say anything. you just swallow what you've been chewing and nod away.

Joel's laughter fills the room, and he playfully nudges your shoulder. "Alright, enough teasin'. Let's focus on planning that movie night. Remember how we used to pick out our favorite films and stack up the snacks like a mountain?"

Sarah chimes in, excitement in her eyes. "Can we make cheesy popcorn with chocolate chips?" you scrunch up your nose,"gross, sarah! you still like those? thought it was just weird kid cravings, you know?"

"you didn't even try them, stop bein' a hater!" she groans, slumped in her seat. You chuckle at Sarah's determination. "Alright, alright, I'll give your cheesy popcorn with chocolate chips a shot. After all, it's all about making this movie night special."

Joel grins and pats your back. "That's the spirit, kiddo. We're up for some culinary adventures, ain't we?" your heart jumps, and you feel like a teenager againㅡㅡ god, some things never change.

As the night falls, Sarah heads to sleep in your room, and your dad leaves you and Joel to clean up what's left in the kitchen. It didn't take long, 10 minutes at most, so you decide to sit for a bit.

The living room is bathed in a gentle, dim glow from the soft, ambient lighting. You and Joel settle onto the couch, the familiar cushions cradling you both. As you chat and reminisce, the comfortable silence that has always defined your connection fills the room.

Joel reaches for the old photo album your dad always kept on the coffee table, and you watch as he flips through its pages. The photographs tell the story of your family's journey together – from vacations at the beach to the holidays you celebrated. Memories cascade from each page, and Joel's gaze lingers on a particularly cherished photo.

He turns to you, a wistful smile on his face. "Remember this trip, that cabin by the lake? Sarah was so little then, and she caught her first fish. You were so little..."

"yeah, I remember..."

"you're all grown up now. I honestly thought you'd forget about your dad and I." Joel chuckles, wrapping his bicep around you, pulling you in closer. "Don't be ridiculous. never in a million years." you reply.

then there's silence. your gaze locks on his, and you can hear your heartbeat in your headㅡㅡ his eyes never leave yours. Joel's calloused palm reaches your face, tracing small circles onto your burning cheek.

"think your dad's gonna come out soon?" he asks, licking his bottom lip as he waits for your response. while he looks at you, words get stuck in your throat, and you can't get them outㅡㅡ so you just shake your head 'no'.

"thought you'd grow out of this shyness, darlin'. i guess it's that effect I've on ya, huh?" smirking, he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, causing you to shiver lightly.

Joel's presence, so close, and his touch have you captivated. The room feels charged with tangible tension. His teasing remark makes you smile, though you're still struggling to find words, the unspoken feelings hanging in the air.

"c'mon, sweetheart, answer me."

"j-joelㅡ" what does he want you to say? is he testing you? does he feel it, too? better yet, does he hear how fast your heart is beating whenever he leans closer to you.

"ya still hear the water runnin?" you nod. "good." he licks his lips before grabbing the back of your head, pulling you inches away from his lips. "can I?"

you muster the fastest 'yes', and when realization hits, your face grows red as an apple, causing joel to laugh. "eager girl." and with that, he leans in, placing his lips atop yours. the kiss is deep, a bit sloppy, but it feels like it's been heavy waiting to happen for so long. his beard scratches at your skin, drawing soft hums from you as it does so.

a few moments pass, and joel pulls away from the kiss, a string of saliva connecting your lips, one that he breaks when his rough thumb drags itself across your bottom lip. "pretty, pretty girl." you moan, you feel so pathetic. he's barely touched you, yet you feel the pool growing inside your panties by the second.

"p-please, joel.."

"please, what, darlin? gotta tell me exactly what ya want." he smiles, prepping soft pecks onto your face. "t-touch me..please." you gather the courage to speak up, watching his eyes grow darker as he hears your request.

"fuck, baby...what would your dad say if he heard you just then, huh?" chuckling low, his fingers tangle themselves in your hair, making you whimper. "don't c-care.."

"that so?" he tilts his head to the side, his thumb urging your mouth to open. "c'mon, girl, open." and you do as you're told, opening you mouth wide, tongue lolled out. he then gathers some spit in his mouth before letting the glistening droplet fall from his lips onto your tongue.

"swallow." he commands, and you obliged. "atta girl."

its so overwhelming, so dirty, and he didn't even do anything. at this moment, it feels as if only a slight nip at your skin could send you over the edge.

suddenly, you both hear steps upstairs, followed by a door closing. it's your dad. "you guys alright? think ive had too much to eatㅡ nothin' new there. imma head to bed, you guys cand manage yourselves, yeah?" and with that he closes the door to his room, leaving you and Joel staring at each other.

"tell me, you really wanna do this, darlin' ?"

"please, joel...need thisㅡㅡ need you."

Guilt clawed at your heart. Yet, you couldn't stop what you felt. it was wrong, but in this moment, it felt so right. "fuck, okay angel."

his large hands start to pull at your clothes, undressing you in an instant, leaving your naked body shivering. "i got you, babygirl." joel leans in, trailing soft kisses down the curve of your hip all the way to your mid thigh. your body jolts as you try to remain quiet.

"gonna let me ruin you, sweet girl?" and it feels like your heart could run a marathon. you nod away, eagerly. you feel so pathetic, all sprawled out naked under him, whilst he's still dressed. "words, baby."

"fuckㅡ please, joel, please..." you almost cry.

he laughs, fingers reaching your folds and swirling around them "fuck, darlin', you're so wet. all this for me, hm?" he teases "yes, f-for you...please."

"shh.." hushing you, he finally pushes inside one of his fingers, making you bite back a moan. you cover your mouth with your hands, a warm sensation flooding your bodyㅡ it feels like you could come just now.

"so tight, baby. can't wait to feel you 'round my cock." you choke back a pathetic whine. "you like it? like it when i fuck you with my fingers and talk to you like this?" you nod, pushing yourself further onto his digits. "filthy girl, s'it turn you on knowing your dad could walk in in us, huh? want him to see ya full of my cock? c'mon, answer, girl."

"yesㅡ shit, yes, please, joel, please..."

"s'okay, baby, don't worry. 'll fuck you so good you'll forget your own name. make you take this cock until you can't walk no more."

your vision was hazy from all the tears in your eyes, and your heart felt stuck in your throat. you watch the man discard himself of his clothesㅡㅡ holy. fucking. shit. all of your fantasies of Joel couldn't prepare you for what was going to happen. he stood there, tall, gruff as he stroked himself. his length was girthy, almost too thick, veiny, with a red, angry tip. he knew he was huge, that's what made it so exciting to him watching you gawk at his cock.

"c'mon, doll. it won't bite...open wide now. widee ㅡ there you go..." he preaises, sliding his length between your lips. it was hard to adjust, and honestly, your jaw was hurting from the first minutes you had him in your mouth. but the way his lips dripped with quiet moans, 'goodgirls' and 'thats rights', it made you push back the pain. it was bearableㅡ you just wanted to make him proud.

"jesus christ, girl, you look so pretty, mouth full of my cock." the man laughs, pushing his length further down your warm throat that was constricting as you gagged around him. "shitㅡ gonna make me come, sweet girl." hissing, he pulls out, leaving you gasping for air.

"joel, need you inside...please.."

"you're so gorgeous like this, baby. my gorgeous girl, begging for cock." he sighs, caressing you cheek before his hand slides down to wrap around your neck, squeezing it and making you light-headed. "gonna let me fuck you stupid, darlin'? c'mon, answer."

"y-yes, Joel, want you t'fuck me s-stupid, please..."

joel scoffs, placing a little kiss on your forehead. with his other hand he grabs his shaft and drags the tip along your fold, collecting all the juices that dripped from you. "fuckin' soaked for me, baby."

"jus' for you.."

"i know, baby. i know.."

without stalling, he pushes in just the tip making you yelp as the sting spread through your pussy. you stare him deep in the eyes as he pushes in further, hushing you along the way. it was so bigㅡ too big. but you loved it, you loved that it was all you dreamed about and more.

"s' everything good, darlin'? want me to stop?"

"please don't...move, please, i need youㅡ please.."

"gonna give me a stroke if you keep on beggin' like that, baby..." with that, he pushes in all the way, ripping through you, his precum mixing with your juices that were flowing over his cock. he thrusts in you cunningly, gripping your hips tightly and licking long strips down your neck. all you could do is sit there and take it. take it and make him proud.

"so pretty, baby. so, so pretty and tight, shitㅡ " joel moans, indulging further into you. your hips crash with his, and you try your best to say quiet as you feel his cock hit so deep, you're sure it reached your stomach. the room spun with you, you could only mutter little 'joels' as he pounded into you.

after a few more pumps that familiar feeling was pooling at your core, causing you to tighten around Joel's length, which made him grunt and pull her hips flush to his "that's it, girl. come around my cock, let me feel ya."

you let go. bliss and pleasure take over you as your body contorts under joel, your walls fluttering around his shaft perfectly. it doesn't take him long reach his high, pumping a few more times into you before he take his cock out and paint your stomach with white, silky strands.

you both sit there in silence for a bit before you finally decide to speak up. "movie night tomorrow will be...something."

"now you're talkin' , darlin'? c'mon, let's get ya cleaned up and pray no one heard us."

⁽⁽ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ⁾⁾‎  토끼's NOTE : yall are eating good today. here with another fic this time our fave insane dilf JOEL !!! this has 2.78k words and probably lots of grammatical errors ITS NOT PROOFREAD OK?!?!?! hope you like it guys <3 tysm and ily!!!

#pedro pascal #kinktober #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller #joel tlou #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller smut #joel miller the last of us

[undead-potatoes]

SUNNY, did someone ask about Aurora and Jay and whether they like kids?? Do they get along with them, are annoyed by them? Would they want kids for themselves? How have they interacted with the kids in the bg3 world so far?

No-one did, so thanks for asking B)

This is gonna be long as usual so 🐻 with me

- - -

Much like she's with people in general, Aurora is kinda bad with kids. She likes them, quite a lot in fact, but she's awkward and doesn't know how to interact with them in a natural way. She does find them so so charming though, and enjoys being around them and observing their antics. I think she admires them too for how resilient they can be, how even in the face of so many horrors they're still filled with so much of that childlike joy.

But the Urge makes interactions difficult, since they're often extra gruesome around kids (as you pointed out). She tries her best to interact casually with any kids coming her way, but I think she also keeps her distance for the most part while the Urge rages on. Yenna might be the hardest one for her, since she's someone Rory has to interact with on a regular basis. It goes well for the most part, but I think Yenna probably picks up on Rory's weird vibes and just decides to keep interactions to a minimum (maybe she thinks Rory doesn't like her? Like what did she do wrong?)

She does want kids of her own she discovers, once she's free to live life on her own terms, but she's terrified of passing on any bhaalspawn bullshit to a biological child, so that's a route she doesn't even dare explore. There are other ways of becoming a parent though, and I can see her and Shadowheart bringing up a child together at some point (and I imagine Astarion is just mommy's weird boyfriend who teaches them all the wrong things and is over there like "I hate this kid. If anything ever happens to them I'm gonna turn into John Wick tho.")

- - -

First of all, I just posted a Jay backstory bit that's been sitting in my drafts since October, which adds some context to Jay's relationship with kids already in his life.

So very firmly on the other side of the scale we have Jay, who is really great with kids, possibly even better than with most adults. He knows how to talk to them in a way that makes them feel seen and respected, while still keeping in mind that they're children. Chatting with them, joking around, providing them comfort, it all comes pretty natural to him.

He obviously has a soft spot for the tiefling orphans. Looking at them he sees a reflection of himself from 40 years ago, and many of their schemes genuinely amuse him, though some of them are uuuh a little worrying. I think he tries to sway Mol a little bit since she's their leader, to steer her away from the worst of it, but she's just too stubborn for that. Her whole ordeal with Raphael really stressed him out tbh.

Yenna is an interesting one bc usually I would just write her off and say she never joined the party (it's a bit silly tbh), but Jay absolutely would pick her up and have her tag along if he thought she would be safer with them than being on her own. I assume they get along just fine (she mostly just has the personality of "pleasant child" in-game), and I think he enjoys teaching her stuff, for better and for worse. He's totally the kind of guy who will teach kids some questionable things (often by accident), and then go "no wait, do as I say, not as I do".

I initially (like months ago) thought of him as someone who might want kids, but I'm not so sure anymore. At least not in a way where he'll actively go out of his way to have children; any child that just happens to fall into his lap is a different story. This is partly why I'm a little conflicted about Yenna post-game, like what WOULD he do? He'd be very hesitant to send any child to an orphanage unless there were no other options, so idk where she ends up.

Overall I think he's just fine being everyone's favorite uncle. The kids love him, he brings the coolest gifts, and he gets to interact with them on a frequent basis in smaller bursts. He's the first anyone asks to babysit, and he almost always says yes, much to Gale's annoyance I'm sure ("but what about our plans, love" "we can do that tomorrow, they never get time off from the kids").

#Sunny Answers #axiolotl #OC: Tav #OC: Aurora Dawnbringer #Jay learn to say no challenge: [impossible] #honestly regardless of whether Durge can have kids w/o them becoming bhaalspawn I'm like tempted to make her infertile anyways #like ONE of the two things she was made for and she can't even do that right (tho that one's on you Bhaal)

[kuschelkissen]

And more polyshipweek stuff. Prompts by @polyshipweek

This one is kinda sad-ish, idk. Also has some non-canon characters involved

GROWING OLD

"How is he?"

Yui raised her head as she closed the door behind her, smiling weakly at the younger woman. "He's sleeping now. Don't worry, Takako."

"But I do worry." Slowly she got closer, finally embracing her. "Seeing him break down like this... and then finding out it happened before! Mum, why didn't you tell me! Why didn't anyone of you tell me??"

"We didn't want to worry you. The doctor said it's just some slight form of fatigue, and that it just happens sometimes when people get older."

"He's not that old yet!"

With a sigh, Yui held her daughter tightly. "He's not that young anymore either, Takako."

Takako burried her head in Yui's shoulder. "I don't like it. I want Kosuke and Yuji to have a lot more time with their grandpa!"

"And what makes you think they won't?" could be heard from the door, as Kansuke in his wheelchair was pushed inside the living room by a young man. "Just 'cause Koumei is a bit weak on his legs these days doesn't mean he's gonna die tomorrow, ya know?" He grinned, patting his left leg with his hand. "I've been weak on my legs for decades now and look at me, I'm burstin' with life!"

Takako rubbed her face, then smiled slightly. "You're built differently, Dad" she said as she came closer, kissing the young man behind the wheelchair on the cheek. "Are they sleeping now?"

"Yes, honey. Though it took your dad telling them about all the stuff your father survived without a scratch to calm them down." He scratched his cheek. "Not sure if they were impressed or more scared there for a moment."

"See?!" Kansuke said, grabbing the wheels and pushing himself towards Yui now. "He'll be fine, just like always."

Yui bent down to kiss him. "Yes, he will."

~

Later that evening, when Takako and her little family had fallen asleep in the guestrooms upstairs, Yui had quietly pushed Kansuke's wheelchair into the bedroom, to not wake Taka'aki. In the dim light that fell inside from the lights outside the window, he still looked terribly pale, paler than usual, and the grey hair almost seemed white. "He's gonna be okay, right?" she whispered as she helped Kansuke out of his chair.

"Of course he will" Kansuke mumbled back, leaning onto her. "There's no way he's gonna go before me."

It made her smile, but also realise how vastly different these two had always been. Kansuke had been handicapped for almost 40 years now and he had always dealt with it pretty well. Even when he had had to resort to using the wheelchair five years ago, he had just taken it as is. Sure, he hadn't been happy about it, but he hadn't fallen into despair over it.

His beard had been patchy with grey areas for a while now, same with his hair, making him look older when he had not even been in his fifties yet, but he had just taken it with humour. "Listen to your elders!" he had loved to proclaim at work, making the newbies doublecheck on his actual age more than once.

Taka'aki on the other hand had kept his deep black hair even when Yui was already trying to hide her grey streaks with dye. So when it had finally turned grey, it went incredibly quickly and it had done something to him.

It wasn't that he feared or hated turning old. But it was the realisation that he had by now outlived all of his family, that pulled him down. The thought that his little brother, not even his parents were allowed to grow old, to get grey and wrinkly, had taken some of the joy from his eyes.

It wasn't like he had lost his will to live, he was still able to smile and enjoy life. Especially when their daughter came for visits with the twins and the house got all noisy and lively. Their little family had always filled him with so much joy. Maybe because he had lost his own so early in life.

But it was obvious that aging didn't go as smoothly for him as it did for Kansuke.

Yui helped Kansue to sit on the bed. "I just feel like he's tired lately" she said lowly while changing into her pyjamas. "Not sleepy, just... tired."

"He turned 70 last month, of course he's tired." Kansuke smiled crooked. "Even I didn't like how that number looked on my birthday cake earlier this year. At this age it's more apparent than ever that we're just old men next to our young and energetic wife."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure. That never stopped either of you~"

"You know", a low voice came from the other side of the bed, "my eyesight is getting worse each day, but unfortunately I can still hear you just fine."

"Taka'aki, you're awake!"

"Unfortunately, I am." With a groan Taka'aki sat up, rubbing his face. "Is it night already...? How long was I out?"

"Careful" Kansuke said, reaching out for him, only to lower his hand again, when Taka'aki didn't sway. "About four hours."

"I must have scared the children."

"You scared everyone" Yui said, huffing her cheeks a bit. "I'm just glad Minoru-kun was there to catch you!"

"Ah, apologies. I did not mean to scare anyone."

"Good. Then stop doing it!" Yui sat on the bed now, too, looking at him with pleading eyes. "No more fainting, okay?"

Taka'aki smiled tiredly at her. "I will try my best."

"Good" Kansuke said and lay down. "Now, everyone shut up and sleep. Playing entertainer for these little rascals is exhausting and we have another day of that coming."

Yui rolled her eyes affectionately, then snuggled up against him, reaching out over him for Taka'aki, who finally lay down on the other side of Kansuke with a sigh. "Good night, my beloved old men~"

"Sleep tight, young lady."

"Oh shut up, both of you."

#dcmk #nagano trio #morofushi takaaki #yamato kansuke #uehara yui #idk this turned kinda sad #it's also a bit all over the place #but eh #I still kinda like it #polyshipweek22

[valerie]

TWITL - week 7 - intermittent sunshine

MONDAY - 12 February It was a good thing to have the day after the Super Bowl off. Still not happy about the Niners losing. :( WEDNESDAY - 14 February Oh, it's Valentine's Day. As much as I love reading romance novels and occasionally watching rom-coms, I'm not that big on Valentine's Day. It's a "grand gesture" sort of greeting card holiday and not one that we've really fussed about for the longest time. Is this the result of being married for so long? I've come to appreciate the little things and being grateful for the bits of joy and beauty each day brings. https://flic.kr/p/2pyfBzJ Ezzie is so sweet... THURSDAY - 15 February Twenty-two years ago, Kevin Tod Smith died. I think of him with a smile and always with gratitude. I am grateful for those moments of being in the same space with him, for the friends made because of him, for the laughter and love shared because of him. It's almost easy to watch him as Ares on Xena and Hercules but a little harder with his other roles. We watched the Lawless movies he did and those filled me with melancholy and the notion of, "What could have been." I've toyed with writing another Kiari adventure and where she goes, so to Ares as played by Kevin. When I imagine Ares speaking, I still hear him. The dark laughter, the sliver of seduction. I still hear him as Ares. https://flic.kr/p/2kvqMAi Kevin was 38 when he died. He would have turned 39 a month later in March. Is it strange that in my mind, he's still older than me? We didn't get to watch him age into his 40s or 50s so I suppose I'm still picturing myself as a 30 year old when I think of him being older than me. It is WILD to think his oldest son is older than I was when his father died. Damn, time flies. https://flic.kr/p/2pyR4eT I love three day weekends. It's just a great way to decompress and just rest. I'm sitting here at the end of it, wishing it wasn't almost over but glad to have had the time to relax. We went out on Saturday for a hair cut then lunch at Black Angus. The bartender remembered us! So sweet. Food was good. Prime rib, yum! https://flic.kr/p/2pyMhka I finally finished Jessica Simpson's Open Book. It was a good read. I had checked the book out through Libby but I wonder if the audiobook would have been better. I might have gotten through it faster. I've started listening to John Scalzi's The Ghost Brigades and I'm enjoying it so far. I probably should have started it soon after listening to the first book but it's been easy enough to follow. https://flic.kr/p/2pysb3H Just four days of work this week. Nice! Hope everyone has a good one. Read the full article

#books #kevintodsmith

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 17/06/2023 (J Hus/Drake, Nathan Dawe/Joel Corry/Ella Henderson)

Content warning: Alcoholism and Drake features

Dave and Central Cee hold on for a second week with “Sprinter” at #1 on the UK Singles Chart, and welcome back to a human-written episode of REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

This may be a particularly tired episode - I am kind of exhausted but surely the charts can fix that! Right? That’s how that works, right? Yeah, it’s probably the opposite but as always we start with notable dropouts, which are songs exiting the UK Top 75 - what I cover - after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week is a tad less busy than last, but we still do have a somewhat impressive list here, consisting of “Hits Different” by Taylor Swift - already! - as well as a few older songs that had returned recently, those being “Maria Maria” by Santana featuring The Product G&B and “Creep” by Radiohead. We also bid farewell to “Haven’t You Ever Been in Love Before” by Lewis Capaldi, “MATHEMATICAL DISRESPECT” by Lil Mabu (good riddance), “I Wrote a Song” by Mae Muller, “Search & Destroy” by Drake and “If We Ever Broke Up” by another Mae, that being Stephens. Yeah, I’m not really complaining about any of this.

So what’s filling the blanks? Well, we have returns for “I Ain’t Worried” by OneRepublic at #72 for whatever reason and thanks to his regular concert-related return, “Seventeen Going Under” by Sam Fender is back for a week or two at #29. Elsewhere, we see boosts for “Give it to Me” by Matt Sassari at #64 - I’m kind of surprised that one’s getting anywhere - “Closer” by Bou featuring Slay at #48 (joy), “Sittin’ on Top of the World” by Burna Boy at #43, “Heaven” by Niall Horan rebounding to #40 thanks to his #1 album, “UNHEALTHY” by Anne-Marie featuring Shania Twain at #36 (her first top 40 hit in 20 years), “Satellite” and “Late Night Talking” by Harry Styles at #31 and #30, “Heat Waves” by Glass Animals at #25 (seriously), “Waffle House” by the Jonas Brothers at #22, and quite fortunately, “Good Love” by Hannah Laing and RoRo at #13. We also have a welcome addition to the top 10 with “Padam Padam” by Kylie Minogue at #9, becoming her first top 10 hit as a lead artist since 2010’s “All the Lovers” hit #3, and she has like 30 to a morbillion others, including her feature Taio Cruz’s “Higher” in 2011, which peaked at #8, but that song also had Travie McCoy of the Gym Class Heroes on it so maybe it’s best we don’t acknowledge its existence.

This week’s top five on the UK Singles Chart consists of “REACT” by Switch Disco featuring Ella Henderson and the late Robert Miles at #5, “Giving Me” by Jazzy at #4, “Miracle” by Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding at #3, “Who Told You” by J Hus featuring Drake debuting at #2 - more on that later - and of course, “Sprinter” by Dave and Cench at the top. With all that out of the way, it is now time for our batch of new arrivals and… it’s a bit of a mess? Let’s just get through them.

NEW ARRIVALS

#75 - “So Much in Love” - D.O.D

Produced by D.O.D

Well, it’s been a while since we’ve heard from D.O.D, the Manchester DJ best known for “Still Sleepless”, which is a song I still quite like. I didn’t exactly have any expectations but yeah, this is about just as good. It is funny to think that D.O.D is cribbing from the same vocal loops as Bad Boy Chiller Crew did with a song of the same name, but he definitely does more with it, including the tense chopping of the vocal amidst church organs in the beginning with really ramps up the melodrama to a level that seems appropriate for how relentlessly hard the hardcore kick ends up going in the drop. In fact, I think I ended up talking myself into liking this a great deal more than I initially did, probably because it hit some kind of nostalgia receptor, but the raspier vocal and the juicy bass synth really did convince me on this, especially with the choking percussion and the ambient release in the bridge that may have church organs, but they’re pretty jerky, and amidst a lot of janky distant synths, which fits for a song about desperately trying to return the relationship to the good old times. By the time it got to the breakdown using what sounds like an audience cheering and an alarm siren, it really hit me that this is an excellent dance song. I’m glad to know that the uniqueness of the more independent dance hits from last year is continuing on into this year, and this kind of wacky garage house track can add yet another song to that burgeoning list, it’s great.

#69 - “VULGAR” - Sam Smith and Madonna

Produced by Sam Smith, ILYA, Cirkut, Omer Fedi, Ryan Tedder and Jimmy Napes

Well, it’s been a while since we’ve heard from Sam Smith after their album rollout and well, we’re never stop hearing from Madonna, yet this collaboration makes perfect sense. If Smith wishes to go the “Unholy” route - which proved profitable - the next logical step is ugly transgression with, well, the Queen of Transgression. I am kind of underwhelmed by this, honestly, considering the snippet ended up sounding weirder than the actual song. We start with intense strings and obnoxiously pitch-shifted vocals as I kind of expected, before getting into a bassy minimal groove - which I also expected - and man, I think the problem is I expected too much of it. I still like the song, with its staccato verses and grinding industrial plucks and sound effects, as well as the refusal to actually “work” as a pop song, but apart from the drop with eerie strings, cacophonous house percussion and an overwhelming bass that really is hurt by the stop-and-start rhythm of the chorus. I’d argue Madonna actually performs better here than on “Popular”, particularly because this brand of more avant-garde electropop has been her brand for the 2010s before it was Sam’s, and she actually kind of dominates the song by the end, which makes complete sense since Sam doesn’t work well here - they feel a bit too hollow and sensitive in their vocal tone to make sense on a track that needs an Arca remix. I still did end up liking this song, even on pure novelty, but I really wish it went somewhere edgier and more actually challenging.

#66 - “Mona Lisa” (Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse) - Dominic Fike

Produced by Will Yanez, Beat Butcha, Kenny Beats and StarGate

Well, it’s been a while since we’ve heard from Dominic Fike, though I heard he was acting in an insufferable HBO series… so it makes sense that he’s back with yet another song from the Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse soundtrack.This one has self-aware cover art, which makes me automatically hate it since you had millionaire rappers on the official soundtrack and they were absolutely fine with using their image for Spider-Man, so for this little indie pop lad who sounds like a nose piercing personified could probably use it for some momentum without, you know, making fun of it. It’s needless to say, I think this is terrible, with a weak falsetto vocal loop and obnoxiously Lauv-esque acoustic guitar strumming that… becomes a house song, for some reason, and it really caught me off-guard whilst also sounding incredibly unfitting, especially with some of the most unlikeable Auto-Tuned vocals I’ve ever heard in this brand of alt-pop. Not even the chorus is all that catchy, with both the shoddily-mixed percussion and his incomplete vocal inflections sounding like a rough demo. Let’s not get into the condescending lyrics before this gets embarrassing since this is just awful.

#59 - “Take Two” - BTS

Produced by SUGA and EL CAPITXN

You know, for a boy band that is “on hiatus”, it hasn’t really been a while since we last heard from BTS. This song is a one-off single celeb rating the 10th anniversary of the group’s formation, thanking their fans through this song being supposedly dedicated to them, but really, it reads like a generic breakup if you translate the lyrics. I’m sure they mean something extra for the ARMY and of course lyrics that don’t resonate won’t kill a song, especially not one with a nice watery guitar lick, co-produced by one of the members - SUGA - which is cool - to make the lovely platitudes seem particularly breezy and cute, which fits for the guys’ high registers and incredibly dedicated delivery, with all the boys selling everything as hard as possible in a very pop fashion, which becomes a problem in that kind of mess of a chorus, wherein the compression definitely does not do wonders for either half of the overly loud and overwhelming hook, with extra vocal riffing to add even more to the mix, and it sounds pretty bad, which is disappointing since outside of the chorus, this isn’t bad at all - it just devolves into really cheap-sounding advertisement music for the refrain. I actually really like the melodic rap delivery from j-hope and RM, and the way they trade spoken-word verses with SUGA in the bridge is a nice, intimate touch, with SUGA’s lyrics more specifically referring to the fans in a really poetic fashion if the Genius translation is to be believed. It’s a shame that these good elements don’t necessarily make a good song, but I don’t think it’s the boys’ fault, it could have just used some extra time in the vault to ensure it actually sounded right before release. I feel like I have to say this - nothing against the boys, absolutely screw military conscription - but I did not have a headache before listening and I now very much do, that’s all I can say.

#58 - “How Does it Feel” - Tom Grennan

Produced by Carl Falk and Ryan Linvill

Well, it’s been a while since we’ve heard from Tom Grennan, but this is his last pre-release single before he released his album What Ifs & Maybes - on the day of me writing this - so I was excited to hear if he could finally fully impress me. “All These Nights” got close, but Grennan has always been so close to making an actually great 80s pop rock pastiche… and God damn it, he might have just done it, because this is an insanely fun bop, and one that’s also kind of toxic to boot. He sounds pathetic belting amidst the Infectious guitars and flat synthpop drums, promising that he’s changed and he’ll make the relationship work, but sounding absolutely not enthused about it. The call-and-response between the Auto-Tuned drizzle of “Just tell me something” before the verse starts with “I don’t know what to tell you” is great, and the sing-songy chorus where he acknowledges how this is far away from actually apologising and mending wounds is just the icing on this petty, condescending cake. His breathy, smug delivery makes this sound just that more like a complete douchebag anthem, and the refrain of “How does it feel?” seems particularly just like a complete dick move, and I’m embracing all of it, with the rapid staccato harmonies of the second chorus and the killer anti-climax that is that chorus, as well as those twinkling synths that back its second half. I’d prefer a bridge with a bit more to it, or no bridge at all, but the drum fills and fuzzy ambiance does grant it some extra oomph that I appreciate. I even think that unlike most Tom Grennan songs, it wouldn’t work better as a heavier track since it needs its breeziness to be as pissy as it is. So, yeah, by being complete unlikeable, Tom Grennan has won me over. What does that say about me? Oh, Liam Payne co-wrote this? That makes way too much sense.

#45 - “Dial Drunk” - Noah Kahan

Produced by Noah Kahan and Gabe Simon

Well, it’s been a while since we’ve heard from… okay, who the heck actually is this guy? So, Kahan is from Vermont and he makes folk music, and since the UK is latching onto country, I suppose rootsy Americana is to follow, with his recent reissue of his album Stick Season generating his first genuine breakout hit on the charts with “Dial Drunk” and, well… I’m not a fan, but I’m sure the kids like it. I don’t like it primarily for very shallow reasons - the drums are mixed in a way that sounds too dusty and distracting, and I just can’t really stand Kahan’s kind of nasal voice and delivery, which is a shame because he paints a good picture in  his songwriting, which is a narrative about an alcoholic regretting his actions when he uses someone he’s no longer in a relationship with as an emergency call once he’s arrested. It definitely has the jerkiness and uncertainty of an alcoholic, including a dialogue between him and the police in the bridge which was actually pretty compelling… and yeah, I’ve talked myself into liking it again, except not as much this time, primarily because I still don’t necessarily like how the song sounds, even if the guitar solo’s pretty nice and as are the harmonies. It’s still just a bit grating and kind of unlikeable to actually work for me, and the chorus feels way too consistent for its content, but it’s definitely a decently written and composed song, just not one that I’m particularly feeling.

#23 - “0800 HEAVEN” - Nathan Dawe, Joel Corry and Ella Henderson

Produced by Nathan Dawe, Joel Corry and Punctual

Well, it’s been a while since we’ve heard from - who am I kidding? These people are charting constantly, and rarely with an actually good song, though to be fair, it just happens that all three have actually had a song that impressed me for the first time just recently, as “Oh Baby”, “Dance Around It” and “REACT” are all great tunes, so I had some element of hope, but I was still expecting it to be pretty generic and well, it is, but it has a very cheesy Eurodance element to it, especially with the conceit of Heaven having a phone line, which Ella sells way too seriously - and that is a good thing… in fact, screw it, I like the song as a whole too. The flubbery synth lead sounds farty and obnoxious in the best way possible, and the percussion actually has some frenetic energy to it that I really appreciate detail-wise, before tunnelling into the Eurodance club drop it was made to have. I do have to say - it’s not particularly impressive lyrically, in fact the sole verse and pre-chorus are kind of cringeworthy, and the song structure is of course not particularly impressive, with its wham line already being corny before being interrupted for the drop. Does that mean I don’t like it? Far from it - the drop bumps, Ella sounds great and the song gives me a wave of Clubland TV nostalgia, and to be fair to the usually bland producers here, there is some nice ambiance and detail, especially in the outro with the recorded phone call. Some extra effort was put into the atmosphere of this one, and it went a long way. Good song.

#2 - “Who Told You” - J Hus featuring Drake

Produced by P2J, E.Y., Gaetan Judd and JAE5

Well, it’s been a Drake since we’ve Draked from Drake, but I’m definitely more excited about the production here, given P2J and JAE5 sounds like an incredible duo, and J Hus has slid on production particularly from JAE5 before, so I had high hopes… and, well, it’s not what I expected, definitely being a bit more percussive with its jazzy pianos and quasi-Afrobeats rhythm amidst stray chipmunk vocals… and yeah, J Hus is not great here. He’s never been great at songs about women or partying, so he feels completely out of his element trying to adapt his unique delivery to a very fitted rhythm, so his performance is just awkward and honestly embarrassing with his corny sex raps and just repeating himself in the first verse. It’s not like Drake sounds any better - he’s just off-beat, referencing his own songs in his fake accent and taking random left-turns into melodic flows whilst being way too shoddily mixed for the sheer length of his demo-sounding verse. The squeaking guitar that arrives during his verse sounds just as unfitting as Drake does, and for whatever reason, there’s a second J Hus verse, and he sounds a bit more energetic but again, his unhinged delivery doesn’t fit on tighter grooves like this, even when a bit more melodious as he tends to be. It’s why he’s always on looser instrumentals, so this just feels like an okay beat given to a duo that can’t really fit it all too well, since in the arms of maybe a Wizkid, this could end up a lot better. Oh, and Drake should continue to be embarrassed about every little thing he does until eventually he becomes this shameless deity figure that only exists as a figment of our imagination and is a distant memory in everyone who remembers the past wrath of Aubrey Graham.

Conclusion

It’s not getting Worst of the Week though, as that goes to “Mona Lisa” by Dominic Fike, though J Hus and Drake bag the Dishonourable Mention. The rest is mostly decent, but I really did love listening to “So Much in Love” so D.O.D. gets the Best of the Week, and as much as I’d want to ensure that both positive titles went to dance songs, I think Tom Grennan just pips the trio to the post with “How Does it Feel”. Overall, a surprisingly good week, and I have no idea what’s ahead of us until Olivia Rodrigo returns, so for now, thank you for reading and I’ll see you next week!

[halcyon-reverie3]

OBCD Chapter 7 - Time to Let Go

“If we are ready to tear down the walls that confine us, break the cage that imprisons us, we will discover what our wings are for.”

— Michael Meegan

Do it for yourself. Do it for your health. Do it for the special moments in life. Do it for the moments 40, 50 years later, when you’re all old and wrinkly so that you can still smile, still stay with your loved ones. Do it so you can experience all that life has to offer. Do it to live. Do it to love. Do it to breathe. Do it to jump around and be the kid that you are at heart. Do it for you. Do it for life. Do it for your forever.

Every life is a different story, a different film. Perhaps a different genre. Every day is a different chapter, waiting to be read, waiting for its reader. In Diya’s story, everyone else would have been a passing character, a shadow, waiting on the sidelines. Small, seemingly unimportant and short-lived stories that her own would overshadow. She’d never paid heed to these stories, never turned a page in their lives and seen how the everyday person acts so differently from another everyday person. Never opened a new book, seen a new person. They’d never mattered to her. She didn’t think she mattered to them either.

So cruel, but that is life. A thousand different stories, a million different genres. A new movie, a new dream, waiting to be seen, to be heard. She’d given up on hers. Yet the simple words from a simple person, one whose story would never meet hers, had helped her. A small light, a tiny sliver of hope. But when you have been in a darkness so desolate for so long, a small flame can make such a big explosion. No, it didn’t cure Diya of her problems. No, it didn’t take away all her pain. No, it didn’t shield her from the piercing words that slashed away at her soul, ruining her. However, yes, it mattered. Yes, it took away some of her pain. Yes, every word she’d heard in that fateful live guided her to salvation. Yes, it helped. Yes, it showed Diya that the chains that shackled her were hers to confine and hers to free. And she didn’t want to be chained anymore, she wanted to walk the path she was always meant to go — the path to her truth, a path filled with nails and needles, colours and light, joy and sadness.

It was Diya’s fight, and she’d fight it strong, she’d fight it brave, and she’d fight it proud.

People seldom wish to hear that they are weak, that they need help, that they are alone in a darkness where no light can enter. Or maybe it can. Maybe, we are the ones extinguishing the flames of hope and passion that ignite our dark. Maybe, we snuff out those flames because they illuminate that which we do not want to see. Because they illuminate our weaknesses.

Maybe, Diya herself didn’t want to ask for help, because it would mean that she needed help in the first place. A surge of hope, a rush of need, and she’d found herself seated in front of her parents, fiddling with her thumbs. She knew the words she should say — “I’m fine.” “I’m great.” “I’m good.” But she also knew the words she wanted to say, the words for which she’d die if she didn’t tell another soul — “I’m not fine.” “I’m not great.” “I’m not good.” “Help me.” But she hesitated. She’d always been ‘great’, ‘amazing’. She’d always been ‘good’. Her parents loved her and she loved them. So why won’t the stupid words come out, she groaned, frustrated.

Tentatively, her head rose, eye-to-eye with her parents. And oh! The love, the care, the adoration! Those hazel eyes that resembled hers, or perhaps hers resembled theirs, carried so much affection. Those eyes that never judged only cared. Those eyes in front of which her words should come pouring out of her soul. Yet she hesitated. She hesitated. “Diya, sweetie, are you okay,” her mother finally asked. ‘I’m alright’, she should say. ‘I’ll be fine’ would be the logical answer. Be that as it may be, the pure and unfiltered love and concern in her mother’s voice brought out those burning tears and those heart-wrenching cries.

Diya had been strong for a time too long. It was time to let go.

She cried and she cried. She cried until she thought she could cry no more. And then she cried some more. All those days, all those scales, all those wounds. She cried for the help she hated to ask for. She cried for she had gone too far. She cried thinking she wasn’t worth it. She cried because of all those hours she’d spent to be good. She cried because all that pain she suffered didn’t turn out to be ‘good’ pain — pain that was the cost of success. She cried because all that pain she suffered turned out to be… just pain. She didn’t want that. “I didn’t want to disappoint you guys,” she wailed, as she let out the struggles she held inside herself. She’d forced herself to grow up too soon, too fast.

It was time to let go.

#OBCD #original character #original story #original work #Diya Elostra #Earle Jaeger #bullying #social media #new books #reading #writing #disordered eating mention #eating disoder trigger warning #eating disoder recovery #authors #light angst #severe anxiety #depressing life #issues #chapter 7

[journeyofmars]

TTC Journey

I’ve never been one of those women who DREAMS of becoming a Mom. In fact, I sometimes make fun of those who got pregnant immediately after the wedding. In my mind, I’ve always wanted to wait a year or two before we venture into parenthood because I want to really enjoy my time with my husband. There’s still so many things to do, accomplishments to achieve, places to travel and adding a child into those just makes them all impossible. Of course, this is because of a silly assumption that creating a baby is just as easy as having sex. 

My husband and I started actively trying in March 2022, so just shortly after we celebrate our one year anniversary. In the beginning, I promised myself I wouldn’t be like those women who kept meticulous schedule of when they’re ovulating, tracking their cycle, basal temperature, etc etc. I thought we could just have fun doing it. 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, the tests came negative. That’s odd, we thought. This is supposed to be easy. One month, my period was late by 7 days so I decided to go to the doctor to get tested, only to finally be diagnosed with PCOS. She said it’s not impossible to get pregnant with PCOS, but it’s going to be much more difficult, especially because I don’t even know if I am actually ovulating every month. The rest of 2022 became a period of my life where I’m trying to pay more attention to my body. I tried gluten free, dairy free, intermittent fasting, keto. Took all the supplements that everyone in PCOS community recommended to conceive. I also stopped actively tracking my cycle and ovulation because I found myself even more stressed when I did all of those things. Still no pregnancy even after all those efforts. 

We haven’t even reached a full year of TTC, but by December 2022, I feel defeated. Christmas came around and many people in my social media announced their pregnancies, to my dismay. A lot of questions began to swirled into our minds. Did we make a huge mistake by waiting? Is there a huge sin in our lives that’s preventing God from blessing us a child? and the worst, is there something wrong with us physically?

I never knew how difficult conceiving is, and frankly, I always thought this is a problem for women over the age of 40. After all, a lot of my friends become a mom in their 30s. It was never my plan to be a mom in my 20s, so I thought me being 31, this would still be an easy thing to achieve. But what I didn’t comprehend, is how much I would be affected by my own friends’ pregnancy. I pride myself in my ability to celebrate my friends. I love it when my friends are successful. But boy does it feel different when it comes to pregnancy. When one of my best friend told me that she got pregnant even though they did not even plan it, my heart leapt for joy because I love her and her family so much, but I can’t deny that deep down, I too felt some sort of sadness. I’ve always wanted to be pregnant together with her so that hope is gone now. When another close friend announced their pregnancy even though they just got married recently, I felt happy for them but again, sadness lingers a tiny bit. On valentines day, my timeline was filled with 4 pregnancy announcements and my soul cried out loud. It’s like I want to scream “everybody gets their blessing but ME” 

But the voice of the Holy Spirit is calm and gentle upon my ears. He reminds me that God’s timing is perfect AND, it’s not easily understandable by mere humans because, that’s just how it is. I try to comprehend it from my own lens. There’s a lot going on this year and adding a baby, though it may be a blessing, it will no doubt hinder a lot of things in our lives. He reminds me that this is the time to wholeheartedly seek God because I know, I haven’t done so in a while. My faith journey has been wishy-washy to say the least, and I haven’t made the effort to really get in the words and hear God’s words. 

I now know what I have to do and I have decided to let God take control of this. Prayers are appreciated.

[lokiondisneyplus]

'Loki' takes over: Tom Hiddleston on his new TV series and a decade in the MCU

Ten years after Hiddleston first chose chaos in Thor, Marvel’s fan favorite God of Mischief is going even bigger with his time-bending Disney+ show.

Tom Hiddleston is Loki, and he is burdened with glorious purpose: After playing Thor's puckish brother for over a decade in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, no one understands the mercurial Asgardian God of Mischief as well as the actor. He can teach an entire seminar on Loki if given the opportunity — which he actually did during pre-production on his forthcoming Disney+ show. In conversation, Hiddleston quotes lines from his MCU debut, 2011's Thor, almost verbatim, and will playfully correct you if you mistakenly refer to Asgard's Rainbow Bridge as the Bifrost, which is the portal that connects Loki and Thor's homeworld to the Nine Realms, including Midgard, a.k.a. Earth. "Well, the Bifrost technically is the energy that runs through the bridge," he says with a smile. "But nine points to Gryffindor!" And when he shows up to the photo shoot for this very digital cover, he hops on a call with our photo editor to pitch ways the concept could be even more Loki, like incorporating the flourish the trickster does whenever magically conjuring something. The lasting impression is that playing Loki isn't just a paycheck.

"Rather than ownership, it's a sense of responsibility I feel to give my best every time and do the best I can because I feel so grateful to be a part of what Marvel Studios has created," the 40-year-old Brit tells EW over Zoom a few days after the shoot and a week out from Thor's 10th anniversary. "I just want to make sure I've honored that responsibility with the best that I can give and the most care and thought and energy."

After appearing in three Thor movies and three Avengers, Hiddleston is bringing that passion to his first solo Marvel project, Loki, the House of Ideas' third Disney+ series following the sitcom pastiche WandaVision and the topical The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. Led by head writer Michael Waldron (Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Heels), the six-episode drama sees Hiddleston's shapeshifting agent of chaos step out from behind his brother's shadow and into the spotlight for a timey-wimey, sci-fi adventure that aims to get to the bottom of who Loki really is. "I wanted to explore slightly more complex character questions," says Waldron. "It's not just good versus bad. Is anybody all good? Is anybody all bad? What makes a hero, a hero? A villain, a villain?"  

Even though Loki — who loves sowing mayhem with his illusion magic and shapeshifting, all with a major chip on his shoulder — has never been one for introspection, the idea of building an entire show around him was a no-brainer for Marvel. When asked why Loki was one of the studio's first Disney+ shows, Marvel president Kevin Feige replies matter-of-factly, "More Hiddleston, more Loki." First introduced as Thor's (Chris Hemsworth) envious brother in Kenneth Branagh's Thor, Loki went full Big Bad in 2012's The Avengers. That film cemented the impish rogue as one of the shared universe's fan favorites, thanks to Hiddleston's ability to make him deliciously villainous yet charismatic and, most importantly, empathetic. The character's popularity is one of the reasons he's managed to avoid death many times.

"He's been around for thousands of years. He had all sorts of adventures," says Feige. "Wanting to fill in the blanks and see much more of Loki's story [was] the initial desire [for the series]."

The Loki we meet on the show is not the one who fought the Avengers in 2012 and evolved into an antihero in Thor: The Dark World and Thor: Ragnarok before meeting his demise at the hands of the mad titan Thanos (Josh Brolin) in 2018's Avengers: Infinity War. Instead, we'll be following a Loki from a branched timeline (a variant, if you will) after he stole the Tesseract following his thwarted New York invasion and escaped S.H.I.E.L.D. custody during the time heist featured in Avengers: Endgame. In other words, this Loki hasn't gone through any sort of redemption arc. He's still the charming yet petulant god who firmly believes he's destined to rule and has never gotten his due.

Premiering June 9, Loki begins with the Time Variance Authority — a bureaucratic organization tasked with safeguarding the proper flow of time — arresting the Loki Variant seen in Endgame because they want his help fixing all of the timeline problems he caused while on the run with the Tesseract. So there will be time travel, and a lot more of it than in Endgame. As Loki makes his way through his own procedural, he'll match wits with new characters including Owen Wilson's Agent Mobius, a brilliant TVA analyst, and Gugu Mbatha-Raw's Judge Renslayer. The question in early episodes is whether Loki will help them or take over.

"One of the things Kevin Feige led on was, 'I think we should find a way of exploring the parts of Loki that are independent of his relationship with Thor,' or see him in a duality or in relationship with others, which I thought was very exciting," says Hiddleston, who also serves as an executive producer on the show. "So the Odinson saga, that trilogy of films, still has its integrity, and we don't have to reopen it and retell it."

Yet, in order to understand where Loki is going, it's important to see where he came from.

Hiddleston can't believe how long he and Loki have been connected. "I've been playing this character for 11 years," he says. "Which is the first time I have said that sentence, I realize, and it [blows] my mind. I don't know what percentage that is exactly of my 40 years of being alive, but it's substantial."

His time as Loki actually goes a bit further back, to 2009 — a year after Robert Downey Jr. big banged the MCU into existence with Iron Man — when he auditioned for Thor. It's no secret that Hiddleston initially went in for the role of the titular God of Thunder, but Feige and director Kenneth Branagh thought his natural charm and flexibility as an actor made him better suited for the movie's damaged antagonist. "Tom gave you an impression that he could be ready for anything, performance-wise," says Branagh, who had previously worked with him on a West End revival of Checkov's Ivanov and the BBC series Wallander. "Tom has a wild imagination, so does Loki. He's got a mischievous sense of humor and he was ready to play. It felt like he had a star personality, but he was a team player."

Hiddleston fully immersed himself in the character. Outside of studying Loki's history in the Marvel Comics, he also researched how Loki and the Trickster God archetype appeared across mythology and different cultures. "He understood that he was already in something special [and] it was a special character in a special part of that early moment in the life of the Marvel universe where [he] also needed to step up in other ways," says Branagh, who was impressed by the emotional depth Hiddleston brought to the part, especially when it came to how isolated Loki felt in the Asgardian royal family.  

There was a lot riding on that first Thor feature. For one, no one knew if audiences would immediately latch onto a Shakespearean superhero movie partially set on an alien planet populated by the Norse Gods of legend. Second, it was integral to Feige's plans for the shared universe. Loki was supposed to be the main villain in The Avengers, which would not only mirror how Earth's mightiest heroes joined forces in 1963's Avengers #1 but also give Thor a believable reason for teaming up with Iron Man, Captain America (Chris Evans), and the rest of the capes. Feige first clued Hiddleston into those larger plans when the actor was in L.A. before Thor started shooting.

"I was like, 'Excuse me?' Because he was already three, four steps ahead," says Hiddleston. "That took me a few minutes to process, because I didn't quite realize how it just suddenly had a scope. And being cast as Loki, I realized, was a very significant moment for me in my life, and was going to remain. The creative journey was going to be so exciting."

Hiddleston relished the opportunity to go full villain in Avengers, like in the scene where Loki ordered a crowd to kneel before him outside a German opera house: "It's the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation," says the Machiavellian god. "The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel."

"I just knew that in the structure of that film, I had to lean into his role as a pure antagonist," Hiddleston recalls. "What I always found curious and complex about the way Loki is written in Avengers, is that his status as an antagonist comes from the same well of not belonging and being marginalized and isolated in the first Thor film. Loki now knows he has no place in Asgard."

Loki did find a place within the audience's hearts, though. Feige was "all in" on Hiddleston as his Loki from the beginning, but even he couldn't predict how much fans would love him. Feige recalls the reaction at the 2013 San Diego Comic-Con: "Did we know that after he was the villain in two movies, he would be bringing thousands of people to their feet in Hall H, in costume, chanting his name? No, that was above and beyond the plan that we were hoping for and dreaming of." It was a dream Feige first got an inkling of a year earlier during the Avengers press tour when a Russian fan slipped past security, snuck into Mark Ruffalo's car, and asked the Hulk actor to give Hiddleston a piece of fan art she created. "That was one of the early signs there was much more happening with this quote-unquote villain."  

Despite that popularity, the plan was to kill Loki off in 2013's Thor: The Dark World, but the studio reversed course after test audiences refused to believe he actually died fighting the Dark Elves. Alas, he couldn't out-illusion death forever. After returning in Taika Waititi's colorful and idiosyncratic Thor: Ragnarok, Hiddleston's character perished for real in the opening moments of Infinity War. In typical Loki fashion, before Thanos crushed his windpipe, he delivered a defiant speech that indicated he'd finally made peace with the anger he felt toward his family.  

"It felt very, very final, and I thought, 'Okay, that's it. This is Loki's final bow and a conclusive end to the Odinson saga,'" says Hiddleston, who shot that well-earned death scene in 2017.  

But, though he didn't know it yet, the actor's MCU story was far from over.

Credit: Charlie Gray for EW

When Hiddleston returned to film two scenes in Avengers: Endgame in 2017, he had no idea where Loki portaled off to after snatching the Tesseract. "Where'd he go? When does he go? How does he get there? These are all questions I remember asking on the day, and then not being given any answers," Hiddleston recalls. To be fair, it's likely the Powers That Be didn't necessarily have answers then. While Feige can't exactly recall when the writers' room for Endgame first devised Loki's escape sequence, he does know that setting up a future show wasn't the primary goal — because a Loki series wasn't on the horizon just yet.

"[That scene] was really more of a wrinkle so that one of the missions that the Avengers went on in Endgame could get screwed up and not go well, which is what required Cap and Tony to go further back in time to the '70s," says Feige. Soon after that, though, former Disney CEO Bob Iger approached Feige about producing content for the studio's forthcoming streaming service. "I think the notion that we had left this hanging loose end with Loki gave us the in for what a Loki series could be. So by the time [Endgame] came out, we did know where it was going."

As for Hiddleston, he didn't find out about the plans for a Loki show until spring 2018, a few weeks before Infinity War hit theaters. "I probably should not have been surprised, but I was," says the actor. "But only because Infinity War had felt so final."

Nevertheless, Hiddleston was excited about returning for his show. He was eager to explore Loki's powers, especially the shapeshifting, and what it meant that this disruptive figure still managed to find a seat beside the gods in mythology. "I love this idea [of] Loki's chaotic energy somehow being something we need. Even though, for all sorts of reasons, you don't know whether you can trust him. You don't know whether he's going to betray you. You don't why he's doing what he's doing," says Hiddleston. "If he's shapeshifting so often, does he even know who he is? And is he even interested in understanding who he is? Underneath all those masks, underneath the charm and the wit, which is kind of a defense anyway, does Loki have an authentic self? Is he introspective enough or brave enough to find out? I think all of those ideas are all in the series — ideas about identity, ideas about self-knowledge, self-acceptance, and the difficulty of it."

“The series will explore Loki's powers in a way they have not yet been explored, which is very, very exciting.”

The thing that truly sold Hiddleston on the show was Marvel's decision to include the Time Variance Authority, a move he describes as "the best idea that anybody had pertaining to the series." Feige and Loki executive producer Stephen Broussard had hoped to find a place for the TVA — an organization that debuted in 1986's Thor #372 and has appeared in She-Hulk and Fantastic Four stories — in the MCU for years, but the right opportunity never presented itself until Loki came along. "Putting Loki into his own procedural series became the eureka moment for the show," says Feige.  

The TVA's perspective on time and reality also tied into the themes that Waldron, Loki's head writer, was hoping to explore. "Loki is a character that's always reckoning with his own identity, and the TVA, by virtue of what they do, is uniquely suited to hold up a mirror to Loki and make him really confront who he is and who he was supposed to be," says Waldron. Hiddleston adds: "[That] was very exciting because in the other films, there was always something about Loki that was very controlled. He seemed to know exactly what the cards in his hand were and how he was going to play them…. And Loki versus the TVA is Loki out of control immediately, and in an environment in which he's completely behind the pace, out of his comfort zone, destabilized, and acting out."

To truly dig into who Loki is, the creative team had to learn from the man who knows him best: Hiddleston. "I got him to do a thing called Loki School when we first started," says director Kate Herron. "I asked him to basically talk through his 10 years of the MCU — from costumes to stunts, to emotionally how he felt in each movie. It was fantastic."

Hiddleston got something out of the Loki school, too. Owen Wilson both attended the class and interviewed Hiddleston afterward so that he could better understand Loki, as his character Mobius is supposed to be an expert on him. During their conversation, Wilson pointedly asked Hiddleston what he loved about playing the character.

"And I said, 'I think it's because he has so much range,'" says Hiddleston. "I remember saying this to him: 'On the 88 keys on the piano, he can play the twinkly light keys at the top. He can keep it witty and light, and he's the God of Mischief, but he can also go down to the other side and play the heavy keys. And he can play some really profound chords down there, which are about grief and betrayal and loss and heartbreak and jealousy and pride.'" Hiddleston recalls Wilson being moved by the description: "He said, 'I think I might say that in the show.' And it was such a brilliant insight for me into how open Owen is as an artist and a performer.'"

Owen Wilson as Mobius and Tom Hiddleston as Loki in 'Loki.'| Credit: Chuck Zlotnick/Marvel Studios

Everyone involved is particularly excited for audiences to see Hiddleston and Wilson's on-screen chemistry. "Mobius is not unlike Owen Wilson in that he's sort of nonplussed by the MCU," says Feige. "[Loki] is used to getting a reaction out of people, whether it's his brother or his father, or the other Avengers. He likes to be very flamboyant and theatrical. Mobius doesn't give him the reaction he's looking for. That leads to a very unique relationship that Loki's not used to."

As for the rest of the series, we know that Loki will be jumping around time and reality, but the creative team isn't keen on revealing when and where. "Every episode, we tried to take inspiration from different things," says Waldron, citing Blade Runner's noir aesthetic as one example.

"Part of the fun of the multiverse and playing with time is seeing other versions of characters, and other versions of the titular character in particular," says Feige, who also declined to confirm if Loki ties into Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness and/or other upcoming projects.

Making Loki was especially meaningful to Hiddleston because they shot most of it during the pandemic, in late 2020. "It will remain one of the absolute most intense, most rewarding experiences of my life," he says. "It's a series about time, and the value of time, and what time is worth, and I suppose what the experience of being alive is worth. And I don't quite know yet, and maybe I don't have perspective on it, if all the thinking and the reflecting that we did during the lockdown ended up in the series. But in some way, it must have because everything we make is a snapshot of where we were in our lives at that time."

While it remains to be seen what the future holds for Loki beyond this initial season, Hiddleston isn't preparing to put the character to bed yet. "I'm open to everything," he says. "I have said goodbye to the character. I've said hello to the character. I said goodbye to the character [again]. I've learned not to make assumptions, I suppose. I'm just grateful that I'm still here, and there are still new roads to explore."

#Tom Hiddleston #Loki #Disney+ #interview

[extremelyblackandwhite]

ascendance - 01

PAIRING: mob!bucky barnes x reader

WARNINGS: violence, dark themes, age gap (reader is 23, bucky is 37)

SUMMARY: she was at the wrong place at the wrong time and a misunderstanding dooms her to a life as an ascendance card under the watch of the executer.

A/N: i’m so excited to go back to my mob writing roots with this one. there’s a bit of a few twists and changes to the traditional mob writing i’ve done before and i am really excited to be sharing chapter one with you. hope you enjoy it xx

> NEXT CHAPTER 

The ambience was dark, badly lit by the yellow flickering lights in the halls with echoes of the buzzing of the hot old light bulbs. There was no sound but that buzz and the heavy sound of his boots hitting the rotting wood floor boards. The scent in the air was putrid, a mix of what seemed like life meeting its end stage, cheap cider and weed. It was definitely different and he didn’t trust it. 

At the end of the corridor there it was. 107. The 107th flat in purgatory with the door slightly opened. He pushed the door open, the smell getting more intense and his boots sticky with the liquor spilled on the floor. 

     - What did you do? - each word was punctuated with intense disbelief, as if this was all a nightmare. 

     - Bucky, help me!

PRESENT

The wind brushed and pulled her hair into different directions as she stepped off the train’s step. She rushed through the streets of New York, hair pin stuck in the middle of her teeth as she fought the winds to try and set her hair into an appropriate hair do while running down the street at the same time. The chattering people and the sun peaking through the clouds was hopeful as she grabbed her coffee from the same vendor off the side street as her eyes gazed upon the Metropolitan Opera House which had been gracing the New York landscape for longer than she had been on this earth and now she was part of it, she was a small speck in an almost 60 year long history. 

Her smiled widened as her sneakers hit the pavement, eyes gazing over the fountain and the flags of the production coming down from the opera house’s arches. The same production she was part off. Sure, she was a chorus girl but the mere thought of singing on that stage, of watching that public in those red velvet seats under the chandelier just made it all more exciting. She walked inside the theatre through the stage door, meeting the manager at the door. 

     - Hi. - she leaned her hands against the desk where the manager was surrounded by attendance and cast sheets as well as a big laptop shining a blue light onto her face. The woman didn’t even look up, instead putting up a board with the names of all people in the production in front of her. - Do you need to see my ID? 

     - Just sign in front of your name. 

Y/N giddily looked at the list of names, hers closer to the bottom but there, written in bold Arial font. She signed her name in front of her printed one with the barely working pen, before pinning it over the board and handing it over to the manager who pointed inside the opera theatre. She held onto her gym bag harshly, padding the sublime floors and looking around with such wonder one would believe she’d never been here. She’d been here before, she was here every month to watch a performance but now she was not guest, she was not just another person walking in with a ticket, she was part of it, she was part of the show. After years of doing community plays, workshops and failed auditions, she had gotten here and suddenly all those days spent in bed feeling miserable in bed after getting rejected yet again didn’t matter anymore she was here.

Her eyes glanced at every tiny little ornament in the opera house until she entered the theatre room. Her heart filled with joy and happy nostalgia as the red and golden tones of the room involved her. There wasn’t anyone in the theatre yet except for a few musicians from the instrumental pit and some cleaners so she was free to roam around. Her fingers traced the suede velvet of the red seats, finding a few missing binoculars on the grounds but not really caring. 

     - You! - she whipped her head towards the voice which came from a woman, probably in her mid 40s all dressed in black with a gold name tag slightly above her left breast. 

     - Hi. - Y/N smiled, extending her hand towards the woman. - I’m Y/N, I’m the new ...

    - I don’t care, we need silk ribbons, now. 

    - Oh, I ... I’m new, I don’t know where I’d get silk ribbons, m’am.

    - The costume room? Go, stop looking at me as if you were Bambi and go.

    - Oh, okay. 

She made her way hastily out of the theatre room wondering how she was going to find silk ribbons, where she was going to find them and why she had to find them. Maybe it was a hazing ritual for new people, after all, she had been into various hazings during her career, including downing a whole bottle of honey which she couldn’t even finish, only eating one fourth of it before becoming nauseous. 

She stopped in the middle of the hall, wondering where the costume room could be. It couldn’t be on the top floor, that was usually where the bars and common rooms were so if the building followed regular construction protocols for opera houses, it was probably on the underground section of the house where the dressing rooms used to be. Y/N ventured into the lift, pressing the lowest number on the number chart of the panel until she reached the underground floor. Y/N looked around, people running in and out yet no one stopped whenever she tried to question where the costume room was. She had managed to find the costume shop but no luck finding the costume room until she was pretty much pressed against a dark door with those exact words by the passing crowd. 

She twisted the knob of the costume room door, tumbling onto the dark room as a result. The room was filled to the brim with costumes on each side of the room, a plexiglass divider between the two sides which stopped every meter or so and also appeared to be divided onto female and male costumes with the ensemble costumes at the back. She padded across the concrete floors, looking through dresses and accessories for ribbons but no successful attempt. The ruffling from the other side of the room had her turning around, forehead furrowed as she walked towards the plexiglass divider. 

     - Hello? - she questioned, wondering if there was someone in this room who could help her find silk ribbons. Great, she had barely joined the company and was already screwing up. Great, Y/N. Way to go, Y/N. 

She saw someone all dressed in black just like the women before, yet there seemed to be something which didn’t match up; black jeans, black shirt and black leathe jacket as well as a pair of also black boots, scruffed and probably entirely too old to still be holding up together. Her eyes caught his which despite the low almost non existent light of the costume room, were light, a sort of greyish blue like the calm sea before of storm. His gaze pulled hers in, like gravity and she couldn’t help but clutch the jacket next to her as a bad feeling along with something she’d never felt before settled in her stomach. 

His hair was mostly pushed back yet the ones which framed his face fell like dominos. She moved along the side where she was to one of the plexiglass gaps and he did the same still maintaining eye contact with her, until the two reached the gap. She didn’t notice she was holding her breathe in until she breathed out.

    - Hi. - her own hand gripped her wrist, shoe grinding against the floors. - Uhm, I’m new here and this lady sent me down to find some silk ribbons but I can’t find any. Do you ...

    - I... uh ... I don’t know where they are. - he faltered for a few seconds before regaining his posture.

    - Oh, I thought since you were here, you might be one of the stage managers. 

    - I’m not. - his tone was monotonous, almost as if he had the answer to her question before she even made it. 

    - Oh ... - she rubbed her neck. - Are you also looking for silk ribbons?

    - I’m looking for the dressing rooms, actually.

    - They’re down the hall. -  she pointed at the door as if it was the “down the hall”. - Hum ... Are you new here too?

    - Yeah. Thanks. - he walked towards the door, opening it and stepping out before catching her gaze once again. 

Y/N remained in the middle of the room as if she were in a transe and maybe she was. It felt like she was falling yet she was firm on her feet and she did not like that feeling. She did not like that feeling of falling, it wasn’t feeling, it was hopeless falling and she wondered why looking at a man who looked like an 80′s glam rock reject made her feel like that, so lost. Maybe it was the respect he appeared to command by merely looking at her or maybe it was the nerves about being new and not being able to find some goddamn silk ribbons. Damn it. 

    - Call for 30 minutes before dress rehearsal. - the voice came from the intercom and immediately her mind dropped the idea of finding silk ribbons and moved to finding the ensemble dressing room and get dressed and ready. Damn it, this was going well. 

She rushed down the hall, bag almost slipping off her shoulder until she saw the door with the ensemble plaque on it. The young woman peaked inside the room where pretty much everyone with a role on the ensemble were already sat down. She shyly walked in the middle row until she found her own little corner, her name written on a sticker on the mirror along with photos of how the makeup should be done as well as how to get the costume in correctly. The same goofy smile returned as she sat down and saw her name above her. It was fine, she was here, she was part of a company.

    - Hey you’re new. - the girl next to her twirled her chair to face her. She already had her makeup on and hair pinned curled up and ready to put a wig cap on. - I’m Elliot but people call me Elle.

    - Y/N, I’m the new chorus girl. First day. 

    - Aw, welcome. - she had a bright smile, inviting and almost as exciting as the whole experience of being there. - Do you want help pincurling your hair? I can get it done while you do your makeup. 

    - Yes, please. - she pulled out a big box from her bag which had all her makeup and pins. 

Elle started pin curling her hair up while she put an inappropriate amount of blush on which was just appropriate to get on stage under the bright yellow lights. Turns out half the practice for opera is learning to do your makeup under bright yellow lights and then learning to sing. 10 minutes to rehearsal start, she was along with Elle going down and up to the main stage where most dancers were warming up. Elle left her to do so, leaving Y/N once again to just stand there, looking around like a little sheep in the middle of wolves. 

    - I’ve never seen you around. - her shoulders almost went up as he turned to see one of the principal sopranos, if not the principal soprano. She had seen all of her shows ever since she was a teenager and she had even wrote an essay for university on her for a module. Catherine Vargas, the best New York could offer, if not the best the world could offer. - I didn’t know they were still casting dancers.

    - Oh, I’m a chorus girl, Mrs Vargas. 

    - A chorus girl? - she furrowed her brows at her, looking her up and down. - What type?

    - The type who ... is in the back with the ensemble. - her voice lowered at least a few volumes down, back curved as if she were bowing. 

    - I know what chorus girls do. I asked what vocal type. 

    - Lyric soprano, m’am.

    - A lyric soprano in the chorus. Interesting. Where did you train?

    - Julliard, m’am.

    - Julliard? - she looked her up and down again. - That is a great school. What is a Julliard graduate doing in the chorus line?

    - Everyone starts somewhere. - she laughed nervously, scratching her arm as she did so.

    - Not a lyric soprano from Julliard. Composers sure do love an ingenue, don’t they? Don’t worry, a few months with me and you’ll be supporting. 

    - That’s ... that’s really kind, Mrs. Vargas. Thank you.

    - Don’t thank me. Could you get me some honey from my dressing room? I’m feeling a bit strained. 

    - It’s 5 minutes until rehearsal starts.

    - It’s okay, chorus normally doesn’t do much during rehearsal. Can you get it?

    - Yeah, I think so.

She straightened her crinkled skirt, looking behind her back before going down the stairs which led down to the dressing rooms. This was good, right? Getting into one of the main star’s good graces besides she was right, the chorus didn’t really get much attention during rehearsals, at least not as much as the main characters. It’s easier to get away with screwing up in the back than in the front, her teacher would tell her which would always earn a few laughs from her colleagues. Yet, Y/N hated to make any mistakes. She would stay up all night in front of a cheap piano she had bought from a charity shop, playing and singing the same 5 note progression until her flatmate yelled at her to shut up. For her, if it wasn’t perfect and if she didn’t get any criticism while performing it, she hadn’t done it right. It didn’t matter at the end of the day but what did matter was to climb up the ladder. She didn’t want to be a star, all she wanted was to be able to be on that stage forever with the spotlight shining on her and she knew there was only one way to climb up. Actually there were two, extreme luck and connections. Now, she didn’t have the best of luck so her major choice was to make connections and reach that status. 

She made her way into the principal dressing room. It was probably one of the biggest she had ever seen, with expensive decor and various flowers covering it. She wondered how many flowers she received on opening nights if that was the number she had on regular days. Y/N made her way to the desk, opening drawers and more drawers to find honey until she found it on the lowest drawn. She went down on her knees to grab it, mindless and careless to everything that was happening until she felt a sharp pain on the side of her her.

Then everything went dark. 

TAGLIST: @lookiamtrying @buckyswillows @blossomslibrary @juliesland @iloveshawnieboi @unmagically​ 

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan/reader #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan/you #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan/y/n #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan au #mob!sebastian stan #mob boss!sebastian stan #mafia!sebastian stan #mob boss sebastian stan #mob sebastian stan #bucky #bucky barnes #winter soldier #bucky x you #bucky/you #bucky x reader #bucky/reader #bucky x y/n #bucky/y/n #bucky imagine #bucky fanfic #bucky au #mob boss bucky #mob bucky barnes #mob bucky

[edie-baby]

to have and to hold | juri vips

summary: Juri Vips was a bastard of a teammate. Mostly just because you were insanely in love with him and his flirtatious ways. Juri senses a change in your behaviour and when things begin going back to normal, Juri just fucks it up again. (Similar premise to the Mr & Mrs imagine with Liam, but different[?])

word count: 2894

warnings: swearing, still. i don't think i should have to put warnings about swearing anymore, it's basically a given.

Working with Juri Vips was a fucking trainwreck. There was no light way to put it, it was messy, it was painful, and yet you could never stop fucking staring at him. Being his teammate in F2 for the past year and a half, the two of you had gotten quite close, to the point where his family invited you on vacation with them when they were going, and you had joined them once, but realised about two hours in, that it was a thinly veiled attempt from literally his entire family to get the two of you together.

And while you were all for it, being forced to spend so much time with Juri, while he was shirtless nonetheless, was a literal dream come true, it was also incredibly painful for you to stop from pouncing on him at any given moment. Because as much as his family thought there was something between you, it was purely Juri’s charisma and character to be almost constantly flirting with you.

You remember the first time the two of you, a few other F2 drivers had come along as well, had gone to the beach and he had seen you bust out the bikini you knew made you look like a hot piece, he hadn’t shut up about it, or you, for weeks afterwards.

“Well look at you, little miss supermodel. I would have thought you’d be walking catwalks with legs like that, not pushing pedals like the rest of us. God, you look like you just stepped out of my dreams and onto this beach. If you keep looking like that, I think I might have a problem to deal with later in the shower.” He had hollered, and many of the guys around you either joined in or had nothing to say but gawk. Juri’s comments had cemented themselves in your brain however, calling back upon them whenever you felt less than top dollar, which you had to admit was becoming more often in recent months.

Juri had noticed your slowly waning confidence, of course he had. His gorgeous view of you in crop tops, little skirts, and tight shorts had turned into oversized shorts, hoodies, and ill-fitting jeans. All of which still made you the most beautiful girl in the world, but there was something missing from your aura, a general happiness that had been lacking since the new season started a few months ago. In the entire time Juri had known you, you were never one to listen to other’s opinions of you, whether they be good or bad, the only people you had ever listened to and taken words to heart from were himself, your parents, and your boyfriend.

Somehow in the span of about three minutes, Juri had tracked the four most likely culprits of your diminished ego. He knew he hadn’t said anything harmful or damaging to you since the season began, as many of your conversations had revolved around racing, other drivers in the paddock, or your family. Your parents, he was confident in, he had met them many times before, and they were always genuinely warm and welcoming, he supposed there might have been another side to them, though he believed he would have picked up on it by now. Which leaves only your boyfriend, whom Juri had zero confidence in.

Tye was nice, almost disgustingly so, but he was also much too proud of being nice for it to be genuine. He would open car doors for you, give you flowers every few months, and once bought you a necklace with a pendant of his name. But you would never forget that he did those things for you, because as soon as you would mention something relatively negative, those few acts of kindness were shoved down your throat.

Juri, of course, was not privy to that information. All he knew was that Tye’s possessive behaviour and complete lack of care for your wishes meant that there was something beneath the surface Juri was sure was the reason for your confidence, or lack thereof.

So when you came into work one day, to continue shooting some videos for the YouTube channel, wearing a gorgeously fitted pair of jeans, and a halter-neck singlet, Juri knew something was afoot. Also notable was your lack of gold necklace and your beaming smile toward the Estonian.

“You gonna keep staring like that, or do you want to take a photo?” You asked, your voice holding the teasing lilt Juri had missed in the past weeks. Without breaking his gaze from your body, Juri reached into the pocket of his shorts, his hand retrieving his phone and taking a photo of you standing there, tight clothes and bright smile in all its glory. He smirked when he saw your barely concealed smile.

“You’re in a much better mood than usual. What happened?” Juri couldn’t help but ask, the drastic shift in your mood was more than intriguing to him. Your smile widened, taking the last few steps toward his position in a chair behind the large conference table.

“I lost 80 kilos last night.” You whispered, leaning in closer to Juri, the glint in your eyes, the proximity and the tone were all so familiar to him that he couldn’t help but meet you halfway, barely three inches between your faces as the words processed in his mind.

Juri glanced down at your body confusedly, trying to figure out where exactly the 80kg had disappeared from. Then, the pieces began clicking into place. The lack of gold necklace, the tighter clothes, the glowing smile, none of which would have been staring Juri in the face if Tye had a say.

“You dumped Tye?” Juri questioned, his eyes lighting up, his raise in volume betraying just how excited he was for you, and himself. You nodded, eyes softening as you watched the pure joy cross Juri’s face. Him being happy was something that always warmed your heart, but Juri being happy about you finally being happy? You were sure your knees were about to buckle.

“I’m glad. I can have you all to myself now.” Juri grumbled, reaching for your hands that were braced against the arms of his chair. With a sharp tug, your balance was offset, and your body was tumbling toward Juri’s. You landed with a giggle in Juri’s lap, his own laughter joining yours and the two of you simply enjoyed each other’s presence after having an intangible wall built between you during your relationship with Tye.

Juri couldn’t hold a taken woman like he loved her, not when that taken woman wasn’t his to hold. And you, how could you revel in the feel of man’s touch that was anyone’s but the man you supposedly loved. You couldn’t break out in goosebumps, or have a shiver roll down your spine when you felt the familiar pressure of his calloused fingertips pressing into the skin of your back, desperate to keep you close. You weren’t allowed to sigh in content when you felt the warmth of his body seep into your skin, or whimper when his hot breath rolled over the skin of your neck.

But now you could. Now, without the moral implications of enjoying another man, you could sink into this all-consuming feeling you have when Juri is near.

“Morning you two. We’ve got a video to film in the garage if you want to follow me?” The social media manager, Georgina,  a lovely woman in her 40s whom you always went to for advice and style tips, poked her head into the room you and Juri were tangled in, a cheeky smile on her face when she spotted the somewhat compromising position. A blush fell heavy on your cheeks, and you were quick to try and scramble away from Juri.

He had other ideas though. When Juri began moving, you clutched onto him for dear life, terrified of falling to the ground even though it was only about two feet. Your arms circled around his neck, your legs fully wrapping around his hips from where you were straddling him on the chair. His large hands came to rest on the underside of your thighs, hoisting you up higher on his body. Your legs clenched around his middle, the feel of his fingers pushing into the soft skin of your legs was electrifying, and you were sure if you didn’t have a video to film, you would have been telling the Estonian to find an unoccupied office to take what he needed from you.

But alas, you had a job to do. So, still wrapped around Juri like a vice, he carried you through the Hitech office, nodding to other staff you passed, and occasionally nuzzling his nose into your neck to get a good whiff of your perfume. Juri had said multiple times the scent was intoxicating and could bring any man to his knees. You may have gone out and bought an extra bottle to ensure you never ran out after that.

After a few minutes, you stepped into the garage with Juri, well, he stepped in you just kind of floated in. The scent of grease, rubber and a slight hint of fuel invaded your nostrils, and you sighed in content. Juri chuckled at your actions, he always loved watching you step into a garage, or out onto the pit lane to take in the smells of burnt rubber. You told him every time he laughed at you that it evoked a calm feeling within you, it was nostalgic, filled with happy memories from your childhood and the memories of races you shared with Juri on track.

“Alright lovebirds, can we get you in these chairs and we’ll start explaining while we finish getting set up.” Georgina stated, smiling fondly at the love between her two youngsters. Juri sat you down in one of the chairs sitting before the cameras, not leaving your side for long as he planted himself in his own chair and dragged you as close as possible.

Georgina explained the rules of the game, and the way you would be playing it, choosing you to sit in the background listening to music whilst Juri answered questions about you. First, they gave you a list of questions about yourself, asking to circle the correct answers and they would be compared to Juri’s during the game.

“Ok Juri, the first question. How old was Y/N when she started karting?” Georgina questioned. She watched you in the background closely to ensure you couldn’t hear anything, but you were blissfully unaware of everything around you, headphones in your ears, legs tucked up on the chair, scrolling through your phone with the occasional giggle escaping your lips. Each time Juri heard the angelic sound, he would turn to look at you with a look so soft it made the entire team’s heart swell.

“Uh, I think she was 10, I know she started late because she had to argue with her parents to let her do it with her brothers, and I think 10 is about the right age.” Juri answered, looking as though he was thinking quite hard about it. It had been a long time since the two of you discussed your start in karting, it was one of the first conversations you had together, and since then you hadn’t had to talk about generic teammate topics. Juri was proud that he remembered something seemingly insignificant from a year and a half ago, but supposed when it came to you he could never forget a thing.

“Alright, next question. What is Y/N’s biggest fear? Is it A, the ocean, B, goblins, or C, heights?” Juri’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head when he heard the second answer, trying to figure out why it was even an option in the first place. His eyes focused on one spot on the floor, his brain moving a mile a minute to analyse conversations he had with you.

“Well, we’ve been to the beach together a few times, and thinking back I don’t think she’s ever gotten into the water. So maybe the ocean, but she also said once when we were looking at a castle that she doesn’t like gargoyles, so goblins could be a thing. But she’s definitely not scared of heights. She’s gone skydiving, bungee jumping and climbed bridges and things like that. So I’m going to say the ocean. I feel like I would definitely know if she was scared of something like goblins.” Juri laughed, his eyes still glued to the spot on the floor, his thoughts flowing through his mouth with little consideration of how they could be interpreted.

“What is something Y/N never leaves the house with?” Georgina was hopeful for this question, she was sure it could be the catalyst for the two drivers to finally own up to their feelings after reading your answer. Juri listened to the multiple choice answers, but none of them sounded just right.

“So, the rings sound the closest, but sometimes she will wear lots, and other times only a few, and when she can’t wear them on her hands, she’ll thread it onto a necklace to wear under her race suit, or something so yeah, I’d say the rings.” Juri answered, turning to look at you behind him, wearing the exact ring he was talking about on the ring finger of your right hand.

“And what ring is the one she wears on her necklace?” Georgina probed, knowing the answer and just wanting to see the way Juri heated up when he talked about it.

“Uh, it’s a diamond ring that has a J engraved on the inside.” Juri answered, his cheeks turning an adorable shade of pink. A smile broke out on your face as you watched Juri, his flustered state always made you giggle as he was such a confident and put-together person usually. As a habit, you began spinning the ring on your right hand around, feeling the shape of the diamonds and knowing the initial carved into the inside was a claim over you.

“Do you know where she got it?” Georgina asked. She was getting frustrated, Juri was much more calm about revealing the intimacy of the ring than she had hoped.

“I gave it to her. About a year ago, and then she gave me a necklace with an (your initial) on it. I wear it every day, and it’s the only piece of jewellery I wear while I drive.” Juri answered, his fingers reaching up to toy with the thin gold chain hidden beneath his shirt. He looked over his shoulder at you, spotting the spinning ring immediately and smiling at you.

You looked up at him, a dazed look as you stared at the gorgeous man in front of you. He could see the stars in your eyes, staring at him as though he hung the moon, and if he was honest with himself, if you asked, he would. There was nothing you could ask of him that would be too much, even if you didn’t ask, he would do everything for you. No one had ever held this power over him, he wasn’t even sure it would feel this good if it were anyone else, but you just did something to him. You unlocked a part of him he didn’t know existed.

You were just, everything. To him. You were everything he ever wanted, ever needed, even everything he didn’t know he needed. You opened him up, poured sunshine into his life in the form of your smile, happiness penetrated his bones because of your laugh. He didn’t want to lose that again, didn’t want to lose you to another man. He needed you, and he needed you now.

It was like slow motion, the way Juri surged out of his chair toward you, his hands cupping your jaw roughly as he guided you to your feet. The laptop on the ground pulled the earphones from your ears, your phone clattering to the floor in your surprise. Your hands reached up to fist in his shirts, not wanting to lose this proximity. You had him in your grasp and you’d be damned if you ever let him go again.

Juri pressed his lips to yours, as soft and warm as you’d imagined them so many times before. You kissed him back with ferocity, the eighteen months worth of emotion poured into a kiss to communicate your feelings in a way that didn’t need words. He kissed back just as fiercely, his hands holding your face still to allow him to do exactly what he needed. You were pliable to his every demand, putty in his hands. Juri had always had this effect on you, every fleeting touch or brush of a hand on your waist made your knees weak and your stomach flutter with the force of a thousand butterflies.

Juri pulled away, barely a breath between your lips as he panted slightly. Your eyes were trained on his lips, the fullness of his bottom lip, the redness from your assault on them making them look all the more kissable.

“So, how about we switch that ring to the other hand and really make this a Mr & Mrs video?”

#juri vips #juri vips imagine #juri vips fanfic #juri vips x reader #f2 2021 #formula 2 #f2 fanfic #hitech gp

[theghostauth0r]

How you react to your genshin boy getting love letters.

Part I

word count: 995

G/N reader

Albedo

Albedo wouldn’t get a lot of love letters as the people of Mondstat were never close to him even if he was respected.

He would however get a few here and there from few overly romantic scholars hearing about him through rumors across Teyvat.

When he reads the love letters he will probably just dispose of it somewhere after reading and forget about it. He’s not heartless, he just doesn’t really think of it as a big deal.

You on the other hand did not like the idea that someone was writing these things to a taken man.

Albedo would have to assure you that they most likely have no knowledge of you being together.

Hearing this you thought you weren’t showing him enough attention in public so for the next few days you showed love to him as possible.

After a few days he knew something was weird and like a good man asked you about it. You told him about what was on your mind.

He cuddled you the rest of the night.

You were heading over to Albedo’s house only to barge in to him reading a letter from someone. It looks messily made with crayons but it was filled with a bunch of hearts and flowers.

“Being unfaithful already? We only started going out a few days ago.” You say startling him. “I was reading this out of politeness for its sender. Please do not worry, for my heart belongs to you.” He stated calmly, not even looking at you. This little bastard, is he trying to send me to my grave 40 years in advance?

You walk up closer to him and… look at the letter a bit more thoroughly. You see a drawing of him a very bad stick figure, another adult another poor stick figure and a little girl smiling. As you feel a vein pop in your head you shouldn’t help but assume this secret admirer wanted to have children with your lover.

You couldn’t help but feel jealous so you decide to assert your dominance. “Albedo let’s you outside for a bit!” You say as you grabbed his arm practically dragging him out. He drops the letter on the way out and remains like a brick when you drag him hand in hand through the plaza. Halfway through the walk you see Klee running towards you like a little, adorable nuclear bomb.

“Hello sister y/n! Hello brother Albedo! Did you like my letter? I drew all three of us just for you!” she says, smiling at you. Suddenly it hit you like a brick. That wasn’t some admirer, it was Klee! You stand there like a ghost and you look at Albedo. He just smirked and kissed you on the cheek. “Seeing you jealous was a bit amusing.”

Scaramouche

Does he get love letters? More often than expected.

No one would have the courage to give him the letters so instead they'd just leave it for him in front of his office.

If he saw any before you had arrived then he would just zap them into ashes and pretend they were never there.

BUT sometimes he’ll leave it there purposely just to get a reaction out of you. Why? Because he can and he feels like being a little shit that day.

You’re waking to his office to visit him and you come across a pink letter.

Do you choose to be nice and give it to him or open it before like a nosy partner?

If you choose to be nosy then you’re in for a ride. If you go in asking about it and he’ll tease you for being jealous the whole time.

If you choose to not read it he’ll open the letter and read it out to you, smirking like a cocky bastard the whole time.

“You little shit, wipe that grin off your face and stop reading that disgusting letter.” “Oh yeah? Make me or I might just leave you because of this heartwarming le-“

You ended up shoving a random ball of paper in his mouth and making a run for it.

You see a letter on your lover’s desk, it was bright pink and wide open. Looking around the room you saw not one trace of life. Deciding that there couldn’t be any harm in sneaking a peak you scanned the pink letter. “Hey, I know you probably don’t know me but I’ve been watching you for some time. Every time I see you my heart skips a beat and my eyes fill with joy. Meet me outside the cherry blossoms at dusk if you feel the same. - HT”

You suddenly realize it’s dusk right now. You wondered why Scaramouche wasn’t in his office since it’s pretty late when you realize that he might be meeting that someone. Wait no, I should have more faith in him.

For a minute you contemplated going outside or not, maybe he was just going to take a walk or something.. no matter how much you thought about it you still wanted to go. Just in case, right? You reluctantly take the letter with you and head to the cherry blossom park a step away.

“You think y/n is going to be mad?” Scaramouche says, holding in a laugh. “Y/n is going to kill us for sure!” Hu Tao says smiling. “You will have a new customer soon Director Tao, I hope you don’t mind giving me a 50% off.” Hu Tao smiles “Ah ah no worries! Your profession has a diamond grade pack since you die so easily!”.

As you walk close you see the all mighty big hat small bod’ man smiling with a girl you couldn’t recognize. You run up to them but they suddenly disappear..?

“Up here love.”

You look up and see Scaramouche with Hu Tao, both laughing at your angry face.

fanfare you’ve been pranked!

I believe in Scaramouche x Hu Tao friendship supremacy. I find that writing these stories with more platonic ends is rather funny. This is it for now, sorry I couldn’t have done more requester! Do not fear though as I will make more parts for the different boys, love you!

#albedo x reader #albedo x gender neutral reader #gender neautral reader #genshin impact #fanfic #Scaramouche x reader #Scaramouche #albedo #genshin impact x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x reader #Hu Tao #request #Love letter au

[arroganceisherfavoritecolor]

Dirty Little Secret

A/N: hello everyoneeee, this is my first oneshot fanfic on tumblr, which is a Rodrick Heffley x gn!reader, i hope u all enjoy!

warnings: cliche, probably words spelled wrong, bad grammer, swearing and thats about it!

----------------------------<3---------------------------------------------

RRRRRRR! Your phone went off, waking you up from your nap. you oponed it to see what it was, seeing a notification from your best friend, Rodrick. The message read;

"WAZZUP Y/N IM HAVING A PARTY AT MY HOUSE 2NIGHTTT

UR GONNA BE THERE RIGHT?? "

You smiled at the text. last time Rodrick tried pulling off a party without his parents knowing, he got into a LOT of trouble, so you kind of felt like warning him about the possible outcome, but decided to let him figure that out on his own. soon enough, you replied with:

"totally my little drummer boy ;))"

You and rodrick had been friends since your freshman year of highschool. you had first met when you saved him from getting his ass kicked, and ever since that day, you had started to grow feelings for him. he just made your heart fllutter, with his stupid little smirks, and the way his hazel eyes would randomly stare you down while in class.

it was all too much, in a good way.

RING RINGGG!

Your thoughts were shattered as you looked down to see an incoming call from Rodrick, sliding right you answered the call. "Hey doll face" said Rodrick through the phone. "Hola yeah boy." you and Rodrick had a little inside thing inspired by the song Yeah Boy And Doll Face by Pierce The Veil. Even though he used that stupid nickname in a sarcastic way, it still made you feel dizzy.

"What are ya up to?" says Rodrick. "Nothing much, what about you?" you reply, "Oh you know, just practicing for the party" Rodrick responds in a cocky tone. "Really? what song are you gonna be playing?" you ask, "Dirty Little Secret of course" said Rodrick. "Sweeeet, want me to come over early to help you set up?" you ask. "Naaaah its fine, thanks tho sugar" again with the nicknames. "Too bad, i'm gonna ask if i can go over" you respond. "Fine fine, i'll see you then Y/n" "adios.''

You then hung up.

After asking your parent if you could go to Rodricks, you threw on some clothes that were suitable for this occasion and headed out. You and Rodrick didn't live that far away from eachother, so you ended up just walking. You knocked on his front door, and soon heard banging footsteps coming from the garage area. "HEy Y/n, come on in" Rodrick said while aking your hand and leading you to his garage. "Hey Y/n" all of Rodricks band members said, they knew you had a thing for Rodrick, it was obvious after all.

"alright Y/n, we need you to be the judge of how we play today" said Rodrick. you nodded.

~Timeskip to after the (horrible) practice~

"So what do ya think Y/n???" rodrick asked, hoping for a positive response. "Um..you guys did good! Everyones gonna love it" you replied, causing Rodrick to nearly jump for joy. "Wait, what time is it?" asked one of Rodricks bandmates. you took your phone out of your pocket to check the time, "6:25" you answer. "OH SHIT EVERYONES GONNA BE HERE IN LIKE 5 MINUTES-" exclaimed Rodrick, only to be cut off by Greg and Rowley walking into the garage. "Whos gonna be here? oh and hi Y/n" Greg says. "None of your beeswax" said Rodrick, which made you lightly punch him in the shoulder. "Rodricks just having a small get together, but dont tell your parents" you said, you were always there to defend Greg from Rodrick being an ass. Greg nodded and went back to his room, Rowley following behind him. After that, everyone rushed to get the lights on and snacks out. soon, you heard a knock at the door, you checked the time; it was already 6:35. You answered the door, seeing multiple people from yours and Rodricks school. by the time it was 6:40, the house was packed with teenagers hoping for an awesome party. you heard the garage door open, making everyone go outside.

There he was, in all his glory, your little emo boy on the cement pavemant of a stage. Except he wasnt in the back with his drums like usual, he was in the front with the microphone. Singing wasnt exactly his forte, judging from what happened with heather hills that one time. He saw you staring and gave you a wink, which you giggled at. excitment filled everyone, as much as Rodricks banned kinda sucked, it was still pretty cool. Soon, the guitarist started, and then the drummer, then the bassist. A wide smiled spread across your face as the started to play the intro to Dirty Little Secret.

"Let me know what I've done wrong, when I've known this all along"

"I go around to tie my two, just to waste my time with you"

rodrick (very badly) sang into the microphone, you saw everyone slightly cringe.

"tell me all that you've thrown away"

"Find out games you dont wanna play"

"You are, the only one that needs to knooOOOW"

"I'LL KEEP YOU MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET< AND DONT TELL ANYONE OR YOU'LL BE JUST ANOTHER REGRET (just another regret hope that you can keep it) MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET. WHO HAS TO KNOW?"

Rodrick sang at the top of his lungs, his bandmates singing the adlibs.

"When we live such fragile lives, its the best way, we survive"

"I go around to tie my two, just to waste my time with you"

"Tell me all that you've thrown away, find out games you dont wanna play"

"You areee, the only one that needs to knooOOOWW"

"I"LL KEEP YOU MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET, DONT TELL ANYONE OR YOU'LL BE JUST ANOTHER REGRET"

"MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET, WHO HAS TO KNOW?"

"THE WAY SHE FEELS INSIDE"

"THOSE THOUGHTS I CANT DENY" "THESE SLEEPING DOGS WONT LIE" "AND ALL I'VE TRIED ITS TEARING ME APART'

"TRACE THIS LINE BAAAACK"

Rodrick saw you in the crowd, and looked deep into your eyes.

"i'll keep you my dirty little secret..dont tell anyone or you'll be just another regret"

"I'LL KeEP YOU MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRETTTT DONT TELL ANYoNE OR YOU'LL BE JUST ANOTHER REGRET MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET DIRTY LITTLE SECRET DIRTY LITTLE SECRETTT WHO HAS TO KNOW? WHO HAS TO KNOOOoW!" Rodricks voice cracked up, which made you giggle. The crowd clapped at the silly performance. Soon after, everyone headed back inside to hang out and party.

You went up to Rodrick and told him how amazing he did. "Thanks Y/n" he said, blushing while looking down. Rodrick turned around and whispered something to his band, which made them smile and walk away. He looked back at you and said "Lets go to my room, yeah?" You silently nod, and follow him up the stairs towards his room.

Rodrick closed the door behind you, and sat you down on his bed.

"Uhm, y/n..i've been wanting to tell you this for a really long time now.." you put your hand on his, trying to calm his nerves, little did you know that made it worse. "i..i love you. i love you so much"

"Rodrick.." Your eyes widen, your cheeks heat up. You find those beautiful hazel eyes stare into yours, until they close of course. You copy Rodricks action and close your eyes. The both of you lean in and share a kiss long awaited. His lips are softer than they look, and he tastes like cherry lip balm. You both pull away and smile, blushing at the thought of what just happened.

"I thought your mom had told you to not kiss anyone with the door closed?" you ask. Rodrick smiles and says,

"I'll just keep it my dirty little secret."

--------------------------------<3-----------------------------------------

A/N: TYSM FOR READINGGG im sorry it took so long to come out, but at least its here now! ty again for reading! have a nice day/night<3

#diary of a wimpy kid #doawk #rodrick heffley #rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick x reader

[lanawinters-ily]

The Cracks of a Broken Heart

Lana & you share everything with each other, but what if she is hiding something? What if you change this forever?

Pairing: Lana Winters x Reader (platonic??)

Word count: 900

Warnings: my raw emotions hehe

(this gif 🥺 my poor baby)

Lana felt like a walking cliché at this point. God, how could she be so very stupid. It was hard enough being a secret lesbian in the 40s, surrounded by homophobia & shame over homosexuality everywhere she turned. And now she had fallen completely for the one person who had always supported her.

She looked over the table at you on the other side, your aura sparkling with pure joy & a beautiful gleaming smile etched across your kind face as you laughed along with the girl beside you. Lana’s gaze always seemed to find you, no matter where you were, or how far away you were, or who you were with. And she resented your addictive nature. It was like a cruel magnet, bonding Lana against her will to the woman that she could never have, but the one who fed her soul in a way that was instinctively primal.

She couldn’t live without you, so her secret love would stay under strict lock & key, the key then thrown into the darkest depths of the oceans to drown in sorrow.

As Lana looked up again from her spiral of self pity, she saw that you had noticed her. Your eyes met in a teasing lock, so intense that Lana felt as if all her emotion was being dragged out of her muddy irises into your own; secret whispers told through a teasing glance. Your happiness was infectious despite her aching chest, so Lana simply smiled in your direction to abate any stalling signs of doubt or anguish across her face. You moved forward, intertwining your long fingers in Lana’s own, a mocking slow dance of platonic affection as you pulled her nearer & whispered,

“I need to tell you something.”

This was not abnormal for your friendship, both of you becoming safes full of confidentiality for each other, Lana’s sexuality being the most valuable gold hidden under a heavy code. You both knew each other like the back of your hand; every secret, every lie, every emotion. Well, except one of course, but Lana had sworn to take that to the grave.

But still she dreamed of your life together. Running away to some deserted field to live in a flower-filled cottage in which you would laugh all day, & cuddle all night. You would bake your own bread & maybe even tend to some animals, or permeate each room with a flock of plants. Lana didn’t care where your hypothetical love would take you both, she just knew that with one look at you as hers, she would be the happiest woman in the world - no riches, or material worth could replace the sheer mountain of love she had carved for you.

“Lana, you’re daydreaming again, save that for your bed sweetheart,” Lana’s heart clenched at the term of endearment, & her pale skin flushed with red at the connotations of bed around you, her creative mind dancing around with suggestive thoughts.

You were now both alone, & had taken both of Lana’s hands in your own as she realised you were slightly sticky with nervous perspiration, & trembling slightly to the touch. You were anxious. Wow, this must be quite the secret to pierce your confident persona. Lana squeezed your fingers reassuringly, the gentle caress a reminder that you were safe with her, & that nothing could ever break your iron-strong bond to each other.

You took a deep breath, & sighed out; “Lana, I’m questioning my sexuality, & you have to keep it a secret.”

Lana’s heart leaped at this admission, the impossibility of your union suddenly shifting to a chance in her mind. All of her dreams raced through her head as she embraced you in a comforting manner, to mask her true elated response.

“Oh love, of course I will. It’s ok, you’re safe with me.” Lana cooed, whilst stroking your cheeks; “How do you feel about it?”

You looked up at her & grinned, saying; “Better now that I’ve told you. There’s this girl that I like who’s in our class,”

Once again, Lana’s lovesick brain took over, odds now narrowed down even further - a lottery turned into a small local draw. Her chances were now narrowed down to a handful of classmates, not that she thought you payed attention to any of them much.

“She’s been questioning too! And we are questioning our feelings for each other, together.”

As suddenly as it had soared, Lana’s heart plummeted towards the concrete below them, anchored by the truth. Her fantasises that floated above her head in a dream-world of heaven dropped back down to Earth, back to reality, back to normality.

The girl was not her. Lana was not certain of much in her life, but her sexuality had been a constant since she was around 10 years old. She was a lesbian, no doubt in her mind. As her English-riddled brain told her, questioning means uncertainty.

Uncertainty means someone else. You belonged to someone else. You shared Lana’s exact dreams, but her face was missing, torn out & obscured by the expression of another.

How does blood pump through the cracks of a broken heart?

Taglist: @ka-s @ninaahs @stayevildarling @babypocahontas @lilypadscoven @winters-witch-bitch @basicasshole @bottom4delia @forevercountess @violentwavesofem0tion @sporadicsupercorpquotesmonger @liberosisaspire @mellowalieneggsknight @supremeinlilac @thecasualgeek1 @lucykilljoy @mrsdeanhoward

#lana winters x reader #lana winters #ahs asylum #my comfort character #sarah paulson #sarah paulson x reader

[wizkiddx]

ruining the plan isn't always so bad

you can tell whenever I have really important things to be doing in my life - bcos instead I will spend hours writing for no apparent reason ah kmn ;///

tomhollandxreader - pure fluffffff

Summary: tried to base off when Dom and Sam surprised Tom shooting a couple of years back- but this time they got Y/n with them too

(I don't own the pic nor claim to ...idk how to do this crediting bit sorry :/)

The plan was in place. Tom was really struggling with homesickness on set of his newest film. No real reason why; just long hours, living out of a hotel room, half the world away from ‘home’. Harry was always flying out to join Tom as his ‘assistant’ however after a pretty heart-wrenching phone call Tom had made to Y/n, while she was hanging around with Haz and Harry at the Holland’s house... the plans had changed somewhat. He just seemed so distant and run down, when Nikki got her turn on the  phone she instantly knew that they had to do something. Naturally then, putting her superior organising skills to good use she arranged for Dom, Sam and Y/n to accompany Harry to Atlanta; and surprise Tom there. 

The way the last minute booking happened meant that Harry, Sam and Dom were all flying out on the same flight (though Harry was in first class, while the surprise guests were in economy). Y/n, because of her university timetable, couldn’t leave till a bit later, so was on a plane 2 hours after the Hollands - it wouldn’t make that much difference and if anything would prolong the joy of the excitement for Tom. They, meaning Harry who was oddly invested in the intracacies and details, had been brainstorming different ways to do the reveal- not sure whether to just do it in the hotel when Harry would be meeting Tom anyway, or waiting and surprising him when they were out for dinner or in a bar. Eventually they’d decided it would just be easier to have Harry, Dom and Sam just meet him at the hotel- then take him out to dinner, allowing time for Y/n’s later expected time of arrival, where she would then appear at the restaurant. 

Ever since Harry had let Tom know that he’d landed (if half an hour late), Tom had been excitedly texting him back constantly. The pair had agreed that Tom would simply meet him in Harrys hotel room when he got back from set. Yet when the time came, Sam and Dom were hiding just further down the corridor- waiting in the corridor. From their hideaway a couple of metres down the way from Tom and Harry, the obvious exctiement they could hear when Tom arrived and the two reunited warmed Dom’s heart. He just loved his sons all being so close- it was perhaps what  he was most proud of as a parent. Especially after witnessing both Harrison and Y/n loose a parent, he knew if god forbid anything happened to him and Nikki - they had each others backs completely. Sam was excitedly shifting from foot to foot hearing his brothers - Dom just subtly shook his head at the endearing nervous energy, clearly Sam was impatient for his turn. The idea was Sam would knock first then Dom, so after allowing a short time of just Tom and Harry reuniting, Sam pranced down the hallway and knocked. Yet it wasn’t Tom who flung the door open to Sam as per the scheme, instead his fuzzy haired twin.

“Harry what the fuck” Sam mouthed, daring to glance over his shoulder to attempt to spot Tom - annoyed at his brother for getting in the way.

“He’s on the shitter, change of plan bring Dad in.” Harry whisper-explained, making Sam roll his eyes at Tom unintentionally ruining his own surprise, before retreating to the hallway and beckoning his dad in. Dom pulled an equally bemused face until Harry filled him and he chuckled - earning him a harsh shush from both boys as they sat on the bed, facing the toilet door.

“So why did it take you so long to get here?” Tom asked through the thin loo wall, while Harry pushed his dad to sit further over on the bed.

“Oh ermm….they had some mix up with the luggage so we” Immediately getting slapped on the leg by his twin with a piercing glare,  Harry corrected himself “I mean -I had to wait for like an hour and a half to get my suitcase. Then I think I had the worst taxi driver in the world like down country roads and all.”

“Yeh like that drive should take like 40 minutes I thought? But when you texted me saying just left” He paused as the sound of the toilet flushing and the sink turning on flooded through the room ”that must’ve been at least an hour ago”

“I guess” Harry replied, hearing the tap turn off while Sam ran his fingers through his hair yet again - an excited or nervous tick.

“So how is everyone? I tried to call Dad and Y/n today but-“ The door opened, the stream of light flooding into the main room. Tom stopped dead in his tracks, voice cutting off but mouth hanging agape, still clutching onto the doorhandle. 

“Hello son” 

Dom spoke softly as he stood up from his choreographed position on the bed. Only at his words did Tom believe this was actually reality and literally sunk to his knees at the boundary between the ensuite and bedroom. He was awash with pure emotion, mainly relief - this was the exact thing he really needed right now. His dad soon pulled him up and hugged him, Sam following close behind. Tom’s reaction was priceless, the few tears being more than enough of a tell to his family how much he had needed this. 

It was an emotional reunion, there was a hell of a lot of hugs and suddenly the 14 hour journey was so worth it to Dom and Sam. Afterwards, they just all sat together on the bed and caught up on each others lives, Tom not really wanting to speak about himself - much preferring to hear all their stories from home about his mum and grandparents and the family that live down the road. He loved the normalcy of it. 

That was until a voice grabbed the attention of the whole room and Harry inwardly and silently cursed himself - in all the excitement he’d left his phone on silent in his jacket pocket, which was hanging on the coat rack so he hadn’t even heard it vibrate.

“Harry pick up your phone!” An exasperated voice exclaiming from the hallway half caught the Hollands’ attention, their heads all spinning in unison to the wooden hotel room door. It started to jerk open as Y/n wrestled with her suitcase ”You’ve left your hotel room open you div.Anyway I’m just dropping my case in your room so please text me where to go because - ugh- because right now you could all be anywhere in Atlanta and I-” 

The conversation within the room had died- all of them watching the petite brunette fight her way past the door with a silver suitcase that seemed ridiculously large and heavy for a weeks holiday. She had pressed her phone to her ear using her right shoulder and was wearing beige tracksuits a white crop top and a black leather jacket - as she grunted in frustration at the case, yanking it unceremoniously over the threshold. Subtly, Sam looked up at Tom, seeing his brothers eyes widen in shock, whole body turned completely rigid and Sam had to smile smugly - it was actually quite cute, even if he would never admit it to their faces. Y/n only stopped speaking into the receiver when her eyes finally darted into the room - noticing she had an audience. 

“Oh.” 

She stopped herself, pressing the end call button and pocketing her phone, whilst moving into the centre of  the room. She shot an apologetic smile to Harry, knowing she’d technically ‘ruined’ his plan - though to be fair it wasn’t her fault he didn’t answer the phone; or that his flight had been delayed meaning he didn’t get Tom to the resturaunt at the agreed time. Actually she could blame it all on Harry. He just rolled his eyes back at her whilst she looked past him and onto the shellshocked face of her boyfriend. 

Not being able to hide her grin, she halted at the foot of the bed, meanwhile Tom leant forward from the headboard - his eyes not leaving her. “You gonna say hi or am I just gonna stand here?” Y/n smirked, Tom still not moving from his shellshocked stance. Slowly her smirk morphed to a concerned look, eyebrows drawn inwards, as her look darted between Dom and Tom. 

“Tom are you okay?” she tried speaking gently, but before she could push anymore he launched himself off the sofa and into her arms, Y/n barely staying upright. Then Tom started spinning her round and round all the while squeezing her as tightly as possible. Y/n squealed an ‘I love you’  into his ear , already knowing Tom wasn’t ready to talk yet- instead just pressing his face closer into her neck. After a short while Tom lowered her to the ground and pulled away enough for Y/n to see the smudged tears around his eyes. She cupped his cheeks in her hands and looked deep into his mahogany brown eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“I am now” he nodded jerkily, all the while inching his lips closer to hers. Both consciously aware of half the Hollands just viewing them, their kiss was fleeting and light - but made Tom’s heart want to burst. 

“God I’ve missed your stupid face” She laughed, now her eyes filled with tears too. He let out a breathy chuckle in reply and used his thumb to wipe away a single droplet that escaped her eye.

“Missed yours more” her smile lit up the entirety of her face, such a natural glow across her face Tom shook his head slightly marvelling at her. 

“Ohhkkkayyy well I don’t really want to witness the making of nieces and nephews”

“Harry” Dom warned in a disapproving tone, even if he did have to fight back the laughter. To be quite honest he’d really enjoyed seeing his son and almost adopted daughter reunite. Both him and Nikki absolutely loved their relationship, they just went together oh so well, whilst slightly reminding them both of their younger carefree days. Harry rolled his eyes at his dad before continuing. 

“But shall we get dinner and then you can be alone all night” His eyebrows wiggled in such a manner Y/n swore she felt a little nauseous witnessing it. 

“Harry stop!” Sam interjected, elbowing Harry harshly in the side, earning him a  playful slap in return.

“Someone remind me why I’m paying the wrong twin to be my assistant?” Tom still hadn’t looked away from Y/n as he quipped a response at Harry, while Y/n was gently stroking up and down his cheeks with such a soft look in her eyes. 

“Because I rejected it” Sam smirked, making Harry yell out in anguish-

“I was second choice?!?!”

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Honestly just go play golf with your them! I have to do uni work anyway and-“

“But I don’t want to leave you! You’ve flown here too and I missed you.” Tom moaned, pressing a kiss into her hair from her position lying on his shoulder. Having slept uninterrupted for the first time in ages, Tom wasn’t even sure he wanted to venture away from Y/n and the bed at any point that day- even if it was for golf. 

“Your dad and Sam are only staying for the weekend so make the most of it! Me and my uni work are happy here-“ Tom’s eyes once again bugged out his face, as he caught on to her slip up.

“How long are you staying?” Shit. That was another thing she’d spoiled - getting a reputation to be as bad as Tom. Harry was for sure going to kill her.

“Oh fuck sake… that was my second surprise ruined… I’ve booked a week and a half off from uni so I can look after my little baby boy”

“Y/n don’t joke with me please.” Tom sat up, forcing Y/n to too which she huffed a little at, disrupting her comfort. It had her sitting up straight so she could look him in the eye and resting her hand on his exposed abdomen, asserting her authority on him. 

“I promise! My flights home next tuesday, but I’m missing uni so I have to be boring and keep up so it’s not a real holiday but-“ 

“I love you” 

Tom smiled for Y/n could never not surprise him. University was so important to her - she was really dedicating her life to it, especially financially. So her managing to put it on hold to look after him in a time of need was testament to just how kind and caring she truly was. 

“But you need to promise to look after yourself Tom. I haven’t seen bags under your eyes quite as impressive as this before. Think of your poor make up artists!” And she was back to being her usual sarky self. 

“I feel like I should be offended?”

“Or you can learn. Now go get showered before they leave without you.” Finally ralling off his side, then pushing him forcefully so he half rolled off the side of the bed. 

“Only if you shower with me.” The biggest smirk on his face, eyes wide and gleaming with mischief - which Y/n wanted to punch off so badly. On the other hand though, his idea didn’t sound half bad- letting him drag her up too. 

5 or so hours later, Y/n had written her assignment due in for next week and had submitted it online- making her feel pretty darn put together. She knew the boys had got back from the golf, and from the WhatsApp group Tom wasn’t very happy about his performance, so he was going to be moody. After closing her laptop triumphantly she chucked it in her bag and grabbed the spare key card and roamed the corridors of the hotel to find Sam and Dom’s room - where they all where. Tom had messaged her to let her know they were filming Dom’s podcast, so she had to be stealthy in her entrance - since to the public they were still just good friends. The secret still wasn’t ‘out’ so to speak. 

They’d left the door on the latch, allowing Y/n carefully pushing it open without making any noise. Immediately the golf-related bickering met her ears, while she peeked her head round the corner of the door. The four had set up armchairs by the window, with the camera balanced on top of a table and a stack of suitcases - in order for Harry to get the ‘perfect’ shot. Silently chuckling at the precarious arrangement, Y/n slid in through the door, turning round to gently close it shut again without noise. 

As soon as Tom had seen the door opening he had jumped out of his chair, walking up to Y/n and wrapping his arms round her- pulling her back into his chest off camera. Whispering a silently ‘I love you’ he grinned at the girl who was now arching to look into his eyes. She mirrored his sentiments, placing a bottle of water in his hand while pushing him back into frame. 

In reality, the whole of this podcast Tom had been attempting to summon energy in his body that was just not present. Don’t be mistaken, he had thoroughly enjoyed the time with his dad and brothers- but simply he only had today and tomorrow off filming for another 2 weeks, and the plan had been to stay as close to his bed as possible before the surprise happened. In all honestly, he caught his eyes drooping numerous times while they were filming the podcast- feeling safe in the surrounding of his family, the exhaustion was finally catching up to him. 

Y/n spent the rest of their podcast hidden behind the camera, doing some extra research on Sam’s double bed - yet sometimes having to stifle a chuckle at the boys filming. It was perhaps another 25/ 30 minutes before they finished, during which there was a hell of a lot of spoilers that they only realised too late could not be included. She really really did try to focus on her work, yet instead she found her eyes being drawn to her boyfriend. He still looked shattered. All she really wanted to do was wrap him in a thick duvet and cuddle into his side. She even promised herself to only find his occasional snores endearing tonight, which was something she often struggled with normally.

So when the camera was clicked off, Y/n spent a short amount of time chatting with all the Hollands, before suggesting they went to their own respective rooms before dinner. Unconsciously, when Y/n had suggested it, out of pure relief, Tom leaned almost all his weight against her side - anchored by the strong clasp on her hand. Of course, Y/n noticed and practically pulled Tom down the hallway without saying a word. Only when she let go of the door of their room, allowing it to close with a small slam, did she speak her mind.

“You shower, I’m getting room service then movies in bed… no arguments Holland.” He stared at her ,mouth agape, a little taken aback by her assertiveness, typically the opposite of Y/n. 

“I feel like you’ve just been inside all day, let me-“

“Nope. Nope. My holiday this is what I want… now shoo” She smirked, pushing him toward the ensuite door. Tom knew he did not have a choice in the matter, and even if he could possibly have some sort of influence- he was way too tired to argue.

Barely 15 minutes later, the two were wrapped cosily in the crisp white bedsheets, Tom with a small glass of a negroni cocktail and Y/n with her lime soda. Both were semi-reclined in a mound of pillows, yet Tom felt the need to also lean on her chest slightly. The familiarity of Y/n’s favourite movie ‘sunshine on leith’ playing on the screen, meant that within the first 10 minutes Tom was no longer alert. The smell of her perfume and the warmth of the duvet lulled him into a much needed slumber, making Y/n have to save the half-drunk negroni from spilling across the bedsheets as his grip relaxed. She just nestled in to the pillows further, a satisfied small grin dancing on her lips as she looked ahead at the TV, reducing the volume a little.

“Tom?…..Y/n?… Is anyone home?” A familiar voice sucked Y/n out from the next film ‘the greatest showman’, making her jump a little. Recognising it to be Dom instantly, Y/n had a mini argument in her head - whether to risk disturbing Tom by wriggling out from under him; or to call out instead, granting Dom independent entrance to the hotel room. It was possibly a bit of a weird position for her unofficial father-in-law to see his son and his girlfriend in, but she cared more right now about Tom resting than Dom’s opinions. 

“Dom…. come in… it’s open I think.” Desperately trying to get the volume right - enough so Dom could hear, but not so much as to wake Tom she called out, craning her neck toward the door. Luckily almost immediately Dom let himself in, and quizzically walked in seeing Y/n in bed.

“Sorry… it’s just I didn’t want to disturb him” Nodding in understanding, Dom inspected the state of his grown up, yet childlike son, asleep on her shoulder. 

“No no… he needs it. He always works himself raw for jobs but this…”

“It’s impressive even for him.” Y/n agreed, Dom noticing her unconscious stroking of his sons arm, soothing Tom as he slept. 

“Well me and the boys were trying to phone you both because we are going for dinner-“

“Ah sorry my phones in my bag”

“No no it’s fine… just it looks like Tom could do with an extra hour or so.” Dom motioned again to the slumbering figure with his trademark small grin, finding the whole situation entirely heartwarming.

“I was planning on waking him up so we could all go to the pub this evening… but yeh skipping the dinner might be a plan. I know it’s your last night and all but-“

“-Don’t apologise Y/n. I’m glad you’re looking after the kid.”  Y/n just smiled slightly, a small blush glowing from her cheeks. “I’ll um….leave you in peace… so maybe 9 o’clock? That gives you both 3 and a bit hours.”

“Sounds good!”Still speaking softly, Y/n freed one of her hands from the duvet and gave Dom a little wave as he exited the room giving a nod to her as the door closed. 

It was a sign of the times. Dom used to be Tom’s go to whenever he was tires, frazzled or fed up. But now he had been superseded by a far superior option. A kind, beautiful, intellectual choice - that Dom would graciously accept defeat to. 

He was awfully glad Tom had Y/n in his corner. And he was awfully glad he had found a surrogate  daughter in Y/n too. 

#tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland #tomholland #Harry Holland #fluff #Tom Holland tired #Tom Holland angst