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taahko · 3 months

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I just found your blog today can you please explain or point out a post that explains the MASH timeloop thing? I love the show but I've never heard anyone talk abt it that way before

oh yay hurray ive been waiting for an excuse to talk about this lmao sorry this is long

ok so basically maeve (my gf) and i started watching mash for the first time about a month ago and we started joking about it being like the characters were stuck in a time loop mostly because the same basic episode format is repeated over and over, because it's a sitcom from the 70s and the episodes arent meant to be watched en masse where you can start noticing all the little repetitions and plot holes and inconsistencies that naturally occur in longform tv

but then i started to pay attention to the dates being mentioned in the show - famously the korean war never technically ended, but american troops were involved in active on the ground fighting between 1950 and 1953, so the entire 11 seasons of mash have to be squeezed into that three year period. with 251 episodes occurring within 1,129 days, that gives every episode about 4.5 days of real time. so it works right? no time loop right? well wait a sec

for the first 5 seasons or so of mash they give very consistent dates about when things are happening. for example, bj arrives in korea in september of 1952, at the start of season 4. colonel potter arrives about a week after him, and talks about how he has 18 months left before his retirement. that gives us about 7 months for the shows final 7 seasons to take place in, meaning that by the episode 'point of view' in season 7 we should be around december of 1952. in that episode the pov character starts writing a letter home and in the corner he writes the date:

september of 1951. ok, could be that this episode isn't meant to take place in the regular timeline of the season - maybe for some reason its just like, a random flashback episode. but bj, charles, and potter are all present, even though none of them got to korea until 1952. now i KNOW that this is not like, the True Hidden Secret Lore of MASH, this is the writers realizing they were running out of road and turning back the clock a bit to accommodate for how long the show was running on. but play in my time loop space with me please

more talking points:

consistent jokes about time zones and how difficult it is to call the states because "our today is their yesterday but if you call them now it might not reach them until our tomorrow and by that point our yesterday will be their today"

hawkeye's increasing mania over the seasons and his conviction that the war will never end, comparing the camp to dante's inferno multiple times. maeve once pointed out that the closer hawkeye comes to realizing that he's trapped in a time loop the closer he gets to being institutionalized - and what does the series finale cold open onto ? hawkeye in a mental institution. the only way out is to lose yourself etc. sidenote frank also escaped the time loop by going insane and getting institutionalized

in a war for all seasons bj potter and charles are all present at the 1951 new years party as well as the 1952 new years party

there are three christmas episodes, two of which bj is present for even though he should only have spent one christmas in korea

details of people's families and lives shift around - sometimes potter's got multiple grandchildren, sometimes he only has one, sometimes its a girl, sometimes its a boy, sometimes she's 5, sometimes he's 2

we're not the first people to talk about this either, here's a good video compilation posted a couple yrs ago of time loop moments

overall ive been using the time loop thesis to add another layer to my mash viewing experience. it increases the already present sense of constant dread, anger, frustration, and disgust with their situation that the characters feel, plus it feels like a very poignant take on the united states' constant warmongering and violent existence. it really never ends, it just goes on an on. the future's been canceled by the war department- we're just gonna replay the past.

#shut up aggie #mash #might add more to this later

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lovelyladyabsinthewrites · 5 months

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Homelander being obsessed with his sister HC V

Warnings: siblingxsibling implications, Homelander being such a narcissist that he falls in "love" with his own sibling, dubcon, manipulation, stalking, basically all the horrible parts of HL come out to play, MC has blonde hair and blue eyes like HL, different plot than 'All I Ever Wanted, All I Ever Needed', stockholm syndrome, dealing with aftermath, mental trauma

I II III IV

Oh you poor fool, did you really think Homelander would keep to his word? No, this only meant that he had to act under your radar. Stealth was required now to feed his desire to be close to you always.

He let you think that he was taking a step back. Grudgingly let you resume your previous life though you found little comfort in the family you once lived with. Time with HL changed you. Everything you'd known about your life was an utter lie manufactured by Vought. The hero you'd adored was. . . a complicated creature that wasn't like the golden man on the tv.

HL will draft thousands of texts to you but hesitate on sending them to you. He'll break and send you at least a text every other day. Tolerable, you think. You didn't know that he'd be using his enhanced vision to watch you read them and gauge your reaction.

Now is the time that stalker HL comes out to play since he can't be caught or you really would never forgive him. He didn't want another fight. He hated fighting you. It fought against his natural instinct to protect you. Plus you packed a punch that actually bruised his ribcage making it difficult for him to breathe for the next two days.

Often on his patrol breaks (and when he knows you aren't home) he'll fly by your apartment just to make sure nothing was out of the ordinary. You know, checking your drawers just to reassure himself that you were taking care of yourself and doing your own laundry. Particularly your undergarments.

Careful not to leave a trace when he does these inspections. Never staying too long.

You're non the wiser when you return to your apartment although you do notice how you have to buy more underwear lately.

He likes to keep the clothes he's taken from you under his pillow. When he goes to bed he pulls them out from their hiding place and places it next to his face.

your absence in his own apartments is suffocatingly pronounce

he hates how quiet it is, hates how his room is so empty without you there

and grudgingly you miss his familiar presence too

Your bed is suddenly too large without Homelander laying next to you. You hated when he'd pull you close to his chest in the middle of the night, refusing to relinquish you even if you had to pee.

You find yourself actually missing him and fuck does that make you resent him more. He completely uprooted your life. Him and Vought.

When exactly did you starting hating him less to actual start contact with him? You hate that you cracked after three days of being away from Homelander. Three days and you missed him like you hadn't seen him in a week. Hell, you'd been stuck with him for close to two months before enough was enough. That time spent together, all that trauma bonding, was bound to leave it's mark on you.

Loathing the idea that you may have developed a degree of Stockholm Syndrome. You'd read about it in books and seen it played out hundreds of times on tv.

You're annoyed when you close your laptop after spending hours of research. Especially after encountering this little passage: "An alternative explanation suggests that being in a captive or abusive situation generates intense emotional dynamics. Over time, individuals may adapt their emotions and develop feelings of compassion towards their abuser, particularly when subjected to kindness."

For the most part, Homelander had been kind to you (except, ya'know the whole fucking kidnapping thing). There were definitely moments where he made you uncomfortable but overall his intentions weren't necessarily malicious.

You recall a few times when Homelander leaned in too close to you and you thought. . . well you thought he was going to kiss you. But wouldn't that be messed up? Why would he do that? You didn't quite understand those odd moments where it sounded- it sounded like he was in love with you. There was nothing familial about the way he'd eye you.

In a short amount of time Homelander had done so much damage to your mental health. You found yourself unable to be without him. Perhaps that was the cruelest thing he's done to you.

#reader insert fanfiction #reader insert #the boys series #the boys imagine #the boys #the boys x reader #the boys tv #the boys amazon #homelander #the boys homelander fanfic #the boys homelander #homelander headcanons

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

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WIBTA for inviting my cousin to an LGBT meet up?

Cw: mentions of suicide and transphobia

I (18M) am a trans man and my cousin N (21F) is a lesbian who is very masc presenting. We're the only queer cousins in the family (at least in our generation) so weve always been good friends and shes been one of the biggest supporters of my transition, defended me from bigoted family members and always corrected family when they used my deadname/old pronouns. I lowkey hoped she would come out as a trans man or nonbinary as well. We dress in the same style which makes it so when were hanging out together one of us is gonna get misgendered since people asume both of us are trans men or masc girls. When N is the one being misgendered she doesnt bother fighting it since its more trouble than its worth but looking back i think it really annoyed her.

Earlier this year N was severely struggling with her mental health. I apologize for the wording i may have since i dont know the proper terminology for this stuff or any specific disorder diagnosis she may have (other than autism). She was having some sort of manic or depressive episode. She was dead set on pushing people away and making them hate her so she could take her own life without regrets.

I visited N once to give her my support during a struggling time but i stupidly told her there was nothing she could say that would push me away. She told me not to test her but i kept pushing it and i admit what happened next was my fault. She told me in a very cold voice that she was a terf, though that she didnt want me dead but that "we" (im guessing she meant trans ppl) made it so much harder for her to exist(???????). I didnt let her keep talking just and left her room, said my goodbyes to her family and just cried while driving home.

Im still not sure if she meant it or if it was part of her mental episode and just a way for her to hurt me and push me away. On one hand ig it explains some of her behavior? N sometimes complained when she got asked for her pronouns or being misgendered like I mentioned before. On the other hand, I gen do not believe she has been a terf all along esp with how supportive shes been of me. If she was a terf youd think she would try to subtly talk me out of it, but that has never happened. My friends have nicknamed her schrodinger's terf lol

Anyway, i went no contact with N for a few months for my own wellbeing. During this time i heard that she tried to kill herself a few times, which got her into a mental hospital. She was given higher doses of meds and seems to be doing way better.

We had a family reunion this week and i decided to approach her. N seemed a little hesitant to talk to me but stayed polite. I tried testing her and talked about the effects T has been having on me but she acted like she always had and congratulated me and even complimented me on how deep my voice has gotten. I wasnt satisfied cause i wanted an apology for what she had said to me so i pushed it more. She did end up apologzing but it was a very surface level apology. At this point i didnt want to keep pushing in case it set her off again so i just took her apology (plus i wanted my best cousin back) and spent the rest of the day hanging out with her.

On the way home my mom said she was happy me and N had made up and that i should invite her to the lgbt club meetings Ive been going to this year. It seemed like a good idea to me, she lost a few friends during her episode and she could make more queer friends here. If N is trans and just in denial it could help her get the resources she needs to feel comfortable coning out. If N IS a terf maybe having more positive interactions with trans ppl could change her mind on it. Overall i thought it would be a win for her.

I brought it up to my friends and some of them blew up at me. Their argument was that itd be exposing the other trans ppl in the group to a terf and putting them in danger. I truly hadnt considered this angle so im kinda conflicted now. She had never felt like an unsafe person before and now that her episode is over she feels normal again. Even if she is a terf i dont think she could actually cause harm? I want N to get better but i dont want to put my trans friends at risk.

So tumblr, WIBTA for inviting N to my lgbt meet up?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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whateverurmomwants · 7 months

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No cuz do you ever just realize how powerful lucy is?

She was able to conjure ALL of her celestial spirits, 3 or 4 of them being fricking ZODIACS, all at once and being powerful enough to be recognized by the celestial spirit king? And all in the first season? Where she hasn’t even had her star dresses and other abilities she has learned?

Not to mention this theory about her being a descendent of the goddess Anna, the best Celestial Spirit user.

And im rewatching it rn, and ive already encountered a moment where if she didnt interfere, natsu would have died. The arc with phantom lord where natsu is battling gajeel? Gajeel had eaten iron but there was no fire for natsu to eat, and so Lucy gave him that fire by using Sagittarius. Without that fire, natsu definitely wouldnt have finished that fight.

People are always saying ‘oh well that may be so, but if she hadn’t joined the guild-‘ Phantom lord would have most definitely attacked them for another reason. They wanted to remain the best guild in Fiore. Fairytail challenged that, so it was just a matter of time before they fought.

“Well, she always gets in their way-“ Yeah, considering the fact that she grew up in a household where her fathers only concern was the family line, she wouldn’t exactly have time to practice her magic. The only spirit she really had was Aquarius, and we can infer that she only brought her out on very few occasions. And she also wouldn’t have been able to build up any target practice or any muscle building, since Jude would say, in the stupid old fashioned way, ‘women don’t need muscles. All you need to do is make yourself look presentable to find a husband.’ He definitely wouldn’t have wanted her practicing her magic.

Meanwhile, all the others grew up in an environment where they could practice their magic freely with other wizards. They had teachers and activities that enhanced their magic and physical builds, she didn’t. So of course she wouldn’t be able to be on their level so soon.

Also, the amount of magic it takes to summon a silver spirit is a lot, but even MORE so for a Zodiac. Mashima explained that it pretty much is on a scale from 1-100. Plu being the easiest to summon at one, and her highest silver key being Lyra at 18. Her golden keys on the other hand, has Aquarius at 100 and the lowest being Cancer at 52. Others talk about the spirits only being able to use as much magical power as Lucy uses to summon them, but i doubt that theory/statement.

And its also amazing even then because she can keep those gates open for a tremendous amount of time, and multiple on some occasions. I don’t know if this part is true, but i believe that the mage has to have at-least some level of concentration on the gate for it to keep open, so if that’s correct, then it makes it even more astounding that she is able to focus on the bond at all times while fighting. And i only say this because her spirits go back to the spirit realm when she is knocked out.

Also during the E.N.D arc, (haven’t gotten there yet, seen bits and pieces) she literally REWRITES the E.N.D book that Zeref HIMSELF wrote. She literally rewrote his fate. And yes, i know that Gray was there to help her out, but at the same time, most people would have still not have been able to handle the mental and physical strain that causes.

And im just guessing on this part, but didnt she learn an entirely new part of her magic by someone in blue pegasus and learned how to preform the spell in like a week? Month? Some other very short time span?

Anyways i just love lucy and i would litterally rather show everyone my ao3 library before letting her get hurt/bashed. Lmao

#lucy heartifilla #fairy tail #anime #natsu dragneel #gray fullbuster #zeref dragneel #ao3 #comfort character #i love her #badass #rambles #drabble

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gossipgirlgasoline · 26 days

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HEYY!! big fan of this concept, returns the chaotic 2000's vibe to F1 that it so desperately needs 🤭 Your last post was so well put together! Any new gossip yet?

gossip girl here, your one and only source into the ultra-rich, scandalous lives of race car drivers of formula 1.

hello my lovies. welcome back to the world of gossip, scandals, and drama! how have you guys been? ive missed you terribly since the last time we’ve spoken. since weve last spoken, carlos sainz jr and lando norris has both won grand prixs. how exciting! how dearly ive missed carlando .. today we will dive into all the drama we’ve missed since then after my brief disclaimer !

before i start, if ur not into truly gossipy stuff— THIS IS NOT FOR YOU!! this will go into territory of wag gossip, silly rumours, and other cheesy stuff like that. you have been warned.

lets start off with an anonymous submission, alluding to a comment i made back in an update about estelle and ollie. i mentioned murmurs of flavy snd esteban being a pr couple, lets see what anon #1 has to say.

“in my humble opinion flavy and esteban seem like the least pr and most mature couple on grid. they post eachother because they’re in love and live their lives calmly without making a fuss. i mean she rarely is at gps (bc she’s a med student, but also let’s not demonize the wags for not wanting thousands of eyes and an onslaught of criticism that being present at a go brings) and they are barely photographed by the paps like charles & alex. they give off the same vibes as oscar and lily, cute imo.”

i love this take!!! i totally see where anon is coming from and agree as well. i didnt see it like this, but this is a beautiful pov. i def see why u see that him and flavy are the healthiest, and i agree, but i would also add maybe kika and pierre to the mix? taking on your point that they pos each other since theyre in love and they have nothing to lose there, i could def apply the same logic to them. plus i think they are super cute and they feel genuine to me. + carmen and george probably too.

anon #1 also added this to the end of their submission;

“with that said i wanna know what you think/know about logan’s potential girl! any ideas on what she does? who she surrounds herself with?”

for those of you who dont know, logan sargeant has been allegedly dating a chick named “riley whittall.” i think it is notable the fact that her father is chuck whittall, business man who’s net worth amasses an astonishing $600 million dollars.

i remember hearing about her all the way back in november. i totally forgot about her until a couple months ago, a tabloid i follow on instagram reported on the fact that they have been in many of the same places at the same times. for example, logan posted a bali post on 27/03/24, riley posting a dump days after logan, coincidentally in the same place, with the same filter, with the same angle.

hmmmm

HMMMM….. a quick trip to her instagram today will show you a post of her at australia, in the week of the australian grand prix with chicane wristbands, as well as a story posted earlier today of her at the grand prix.

i cannot for the life of me find the exact screenshot, but i had a friend (her family works in similar business with riley’s father) send me a message of a mutual friend of hers saying that riley was a “pick me.” the message was saying that some of her friends had tried to hit on logan but she got very defensive and start being like ‘im so small’ around him and trying to make her friends look bad. 👀

for those of you who did not see my last post, i recieved an anon submission regarding riley, let’s take a look!

“lots and lots of drama rn... riley and logan just got together and already drama brewing. basically a pretty well-known wag's best friend/someone she models with posted on her private instagram a tiktok that was seemingly demeaning riley whittall. a gossip page dmed her and got screenshots of the best friend AND said wag calling riley bratty, disrespectful, narcissistic, and the b word..”

I NEED TO FIND THESE SCREENSHOTS NOW OMFG!!!! im so nosyyy and I love new drama… this is so messy and im here for it

as for what this girl does besides vacation and thrive off a trust fund, i have no genuine idea. i think shes unemployed, living off daddy’s money but i dont blame her at all. its not like me and my friends not guilty of this 😭

on the topic of logan, i got sent in shady screenshots ahhh!!!! 🐒🐒🐒

logan being a trumpie and an anti masker doesnt surprise me at all 😂 makes so much sense, idk what people expected out of him— hes a floridian white boy, we cant ask for much😭

moving on to my favourite bit of this post and arguably the most controversial f1 couple, Magui Corciero and Lando Norris!

for background information for those who live under a rock, Magui is a Portuguese model who is most notable for dating Portuguese footballer João Felix. Their relationship and break up were rather messy and even more public. Magui is notoriously hated by JF meat riders for cheating on JF multiple times after he gave her multiple chances, leading ro their break up.

I wont get too into detail this post because the lore is so deep but for the ones who do

👀👀👀

Recently, a Portuguese tabloid uploaded photos of Magui and Lando boarding his PJ

This ‘couple’ has notorious for being problem and quite troublesome recently, the pair showing up to the Monte Carlo masters together recently

This being one of their many scandals is not surprising at all since they have been caught together lord knows how many times now😂

what’s your guys’ opinions on riley + magui and lando? let me know in my inbox and the comments!!! 😇

Speaking of messy, let’s talk about my blog 😭 im so sorry I’ve been so inconsistent with you guys, but tysm for everyone sending anons and the constant support♥️♥️♥️!!!!! And Im so sorry this post is so short I’ve. Been having a lot going on rn!!!! summer is approaching so not to worry

I love you all so so much and I want to have a new post for IMOLA regarding LOTS lissie mackintosh and Marcus armstrong drama.. (iykyk) eeeek im so excited to share with you guys… I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!

Remember that my inbox and dms are always open to everybody and you can dm me about anything!!! even non f1 related. Just shoot me a message and I will probably reply😇

until next time race-watchers, xoxo, gossipgirlgasoline

#f1 #f1 gossip #formula 1 gossip #formula 2 #scuderia ferrari #f1 wags #lando norris #scuderia alphatauri #formula 1 #logan sargeant #magui corceiro #joao felix #esteban ocon

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someonexsomeone · 10 months

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Everything I Know About Love

Title: Everything I Know About Love

Author: SomeonexSomeone

Word Count: 3k

Pairing: Bella Swan x Reader

Summary: After a certain vampire left her life, Bella just tries to continue her life...without the expectation of meeting a drunkard at a party and talking about love.

Authors Note: DAY 5 WHOOP WHOOP I cant believe im actually doing it. Lots of reasons of life happening now that in the past ive let dictate my life, I'm actually proud of myself for keeping this going. Make sure to give yourself a pat on the back today. Afterall, you survived another one, against all odds :)

Though parties weren't really her scene, there was only so much more Charlie could take of her being in her room. Really, she had been feeling better little by little for the last couple of months, though she doubted she would ever feel completely whole again for a really long time, she wasn’t just wasting away like she was when Ed-...like she had been before. Jessica and Angela were being more than understanding, one more than the other though she didn’t want to name names, and the boys were keeping her easily distracted by asking her to tutor them. Jacob, of course, was doing more than enough by being by her side, even going as far as helping her fix up some old dirt bikes and teaching her to ride. Their weekly rides near the beach make the weekends that much sweeter, even if she’s probably spent more on laundry detergent in that time than she has her whole life.

So, she thought, you would think that all of this progress was good enough for Charlie to finally turn back to the relaxed, non-hovering parent she had come to appreciate, right? Wrong. Though he had gotten much better recently, finally stopping his stupid stop-ins to her room when she was quiet for too long, though it meant she was now doing her homework at the kitchen table rather than in the comfort of her room, he still looked at her like she was going to break apart at the slightest breeze, or even the mention of the Cullens. Cullen was a phrase much easier for her to say, recalling her near-death experience with Jasper and Rosalie’s sour face to cover Alice’s smiling face or Emmet’s welcoming demeanor or Esme’s gentle hands, but some words still caused her to shiver or go stockstill despite her reassurance that she was better, that she was going to be okay. Charlie knew better than to mention the redheaded Cullen if he could avoid it. And, so long as he remembered it, Bella was fine. Even if Charlie’s eyes betrayed his reassuring words, and his typical late nights at the office were instead moved to the house, papers scattered across the coffee table to act like both the crime map and coasters for his beer, she would continue to be.

She knew he was trying, trying as much as he possibly could for someone who didn’t really raise his daughter until the most hormonal parts, but it was like he didn’t even remember who she was…before. Scrapes and bruises on her arms from general clumsiness earned her a self-harm prevention pamphlet on her bed, missed meals earned her a furrowed brow, and any plans that weren’t outside made his mustache wiggle in an almost amused way. This, though, she almost wanted to scream at.

“Dad, seriously?”

“Listen, I’m just worried, Bells. It feels like you’ve been cooped up in your room for days.” It took all her willpower to not roll her eyes.

“Because it’s midterms? I’m not going to go out when these tests are important.”

“I know, but you even missed your date with Jacob this week!” She huffed.

“It’s not a date, Dad,” she said, exasperated that this was probably the millionth time she’s said the words but they never seemed to stick. “Plus, Jacob’s doing his midterms as well! You know Billy’s not going to let him go on that guy’s trip if he doesn’t get a B on his Math test, and he really wants to go.”

“I just don’t understand why you can’t go over and help-”

“And,” she cut him off, “I went out two weekends ago with the girls to get Prom dresses, per your request.”

“...I just want to make sure you’re feeling alright.” Bella huffed in defeat, swinging her legs over the edge of her bed. It was just supposed to be a peaceful afternoon nap before she got back to studying, a break for her eyes and hands from staring at the index cards thrown across her desk, but apparently, that was too much to ask.

“I’m fine, Dad, really. I just need to study.” Bella stood beside her desk, the picture-perfect student in every way. He still looked skeptical. She sighed. “Jessica is hosting a party this weekend. A get-together, to celebrate the end of exams.” She watched ruefully as he perked up immediately. “Can I go?”

Charlie played up the protective guardian, stroking his mustache in thought, before saying, “Will there be alcohol?” Bella just huffed again, rolling her eyes. “Okay, okay. As long as you promise to be responsible, and call me if anything looks suspicious, you can go.”

And that’s how she found herself sitting on the steps outside of Jessica’s family lakehouse. The perfect environment for debauchery, it was far enough away from Fork to feel like you were in the middle of nowhere without sacrificing any cell service. She could hear people cheering down by the water, jumping in although winter was just letting up across the PNW, and the music playing behind her made her blood thump heavily under her skin. For a long time, she found comfort in the sound of her own heart, the steady thumping she could hear if she paid attention, but now it just made her feel conflicted. The thing that Ed-...he loved about her, dare she say, most, a reminder of him that she couldn’t ever be parted from. It made her heart clench painfully. She took another sip of the drink in her cup, long warmed past the chill it once had.

Introverted to her core, Bella actually found herself thankful for the change in scenery. Although she had come to like Forks, there were a few downsides. Not only did everyone know everyone, which meant that her original plan to hide out in the library when the party was happening was quickly dashed when she remembered the weekend librarian was a frequent customer at Charlie’s favorite diner, but it also meant that midterms were not as much of a distraction as she hoped. Yes, her teachers were good, but the advanced placement curriculum at her old school made this school much easier. Jacob was gone this weekend too, receiving a B- on his Math test that made Billy roll his eyes, so he wasn’t there to shelter her from Charlie’s downcast eyes, and all of her school friends were going to attend this party, even Angela, who convinced her parents this was an important part of her adolescent upbringing. She thought Angela was her best bet to curb boredom and wandering hands, but as soon as she saw her boyfriend, it was game over.

The evening air was crisp out here, a dewy smell that reminded her of all those summers she was able to take a break from Arizona’s dry heat. The view from the cabin was amazing. The calm lake and the tree-filled skyline listed a little weight from her chest, just for a moment, the closest thing she’s gotten to be around her old vampire boyfriend as she could get. There was that stint in her life where she thought changing everything about herself was a great place to start to get over her first love, but past the shoulder-length haircut and dirt bikes, there wasn’t anything actually fun to her in the more dangerous activities she tried about. A shudder ran through her at the reminder of her attempt at cliff driving. She took one look over the edge before demanding Jacob escort her back to their car. He just laughed at her, waving her over to instead sit on the rocks and look out at the horizon. It was there that she learned gazing out at a body of water, whether ocean or lake, made her feel a peace she had been desperately looking for. Something about the majesty of the water, she reasoned, made her problems seem so insignificant…

“I’m not gonna throw up, you stupid head!” Bella nearly jumped out of her skin as the back door flew open, releasing the stench of sweaty teens and blasting pop music she escaped outside to avoid, There was a rumble of voices in the wake of the person stumbling out before the heavy door swung shut with a bang. Bella jumped up, holding her arms out faster than she could think, though she had no clue why she thought she would be able to catch the obviously drunk teen when she could barely stand on her own two feet most days. The person barely noticed Bella, stumbling past them to throw themselves against the deck’s railing. Bella worried they were gonna hurl, or worse, throw themselves over, but they did neither. Instead, they gasped heavily, like they hadn’t had a good breath of air in who knows how long, before leaning back and basically stumbling onto Bella’s feet. With a bounce, they ended up right next to her, their head snapping up to gape at Bella’s equally wide eyes.

“Holy shit! How long have you been there?!” Bella opened her mouth, but no words escaped. Instead, she stared at this stranger and mimicked a fish. “Oh my god, did I just sit on you? I’m so sorry!”

“No, you’re okay.” Bella hesitated. “Are you…okay? Not gonna hurl or anything, are you?” That earned a laugh, way too loud to be from anyone but a drunk person.

“Yeah! I just needed some fresh air.” Bella smiled at that.

“That’s why I’m out here too. It’s way too loud in there.” That one earned her a blinding smile. Bella let out a small puff of air, only a little uncomfortable around this random stranger, and unsure about what to do next. Does she sit down? No, that would be stupid.

“Why don’t you sit too? We can keep each other company, and become best friends!”

“Best friends?” Bella jumped as her hand was grabbed, and could do nothing against the sudden strong force pulling her down. Her drink went flying as her butt hit the step harshly.

“Yeah! I’m in the market for a new one.” If they noticed her pained expression, they didn’t say anything. Bella rubbed her back as they continued, “I was supposed to hang out here and celebrate with her, but turns out she’s a two-faced skank and hooked up with the guy I liked.” Bella just stared, open-mouthed. “Oh, don’t worry! It stopped hurting about…” The finger counting was near hilarious, but Bella was too worried about them to laugh. “I don’t remember! A while ago.” Then they huffed, nearly doing a 180 in emotion. “Besides, it’s not like I was in love or anything. I mean, I hardly knew the guy. But there was something about him…”

“I know what you mean.” The words were out before Bella could even think about the consequences.

“You do?” Bella hesitated, before nodding. “Were you in love?”

“Um…”

“Oh no!” Bella jumped back, nearly catching an elbow to the face as the stranger threw their hands in front of their face, “I made you uncomfortable! Oh, I’m so sorry! Me and my big fat mouth…”

“No! No, it’s okay!” Bella reached forward, pulling their hands away from their face, trying to earnestly look into their eyes. “I’m sorry. It’s just…a little fresh.”

“...you’re sure?” Bella nodded once. “Oh! You’re too nice!” Then, arms were thrown around her, pulling her face far too close to a stranger’s. “Woah! And pretty!” The stranger huffed. Bella shivered as their breath puffed against her face. “I bet you get loads of dates.”

“I wouldn’t say that-”

“And you probably know everything about being in love! Tell me about it, please!” Bella blinked. Drunk memory, she figured, or they just had a really bad one. “Please, please! I need to know. What if he was the one, and I never knew because I didn’t know what it felt like!”

“I don’t…” Bella could feel the rejection on the tip of her tongue. Denial would be easy, it’s not like she knew who this person was anyway. Plus, it would probably be easy to lose them in the crowd inside, and a phone had to be somewhere around here to call Charlie to come pick her up, despite the plan to spend the night here to help Jessica clean in the morning. But…there was something sparkling in their eyes that made Bella hesitate. This was a complete stranger, a person that, if they even knew who she was before this night, probably knew nothing of her previous relationship. Especially if they were this drunk. They were looking at Bella with the biggest, most innocent eyes, gleaming with so much unbridled trust and innocence that Bella felt her soft heart waver. “...know how to describe it.”

“Is it like how everyone says it is?” Bella laughed a little at that, gently pushing them away to settle their face back into their own personal bubble. In retaliation, they swung their knees so they knocked against Bellas, making their shoe tips touch for good measure.

“It can be. It was for me.” Their look of awe made Bella giggle lightly.

“Really?”

“In a way.” Bella paused, watching their eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Was that the answer you’re looking for?”

“I don’t know…maybe?”

“Then…tell me what you’ve heard, and I can elaborate for you?” Bella watched as they mouthed the word ‘elaborate’ before the meaning clicked and they nodded their head enthusiastically.

“Just not too many words, okay? You’re a little…fuzzy?” Bella laughed lightly, nodding. The stranger smiled. “Yeah, that’s perfect! Okay, so, enchanting in every way.” Bella nodded, and their smile bloomed brighter. “It's everlasting every day.” Bella hesitated, before giving a so-so wave with her hand. They frowned in response. “Stomach sick with butterflies?” At Bella’s enthusiastic nod, they smiled again. “Sweet obsession, rose bouquets-”

“Trust me,” Bella said, cutting them off. She felt a little bad, but this was too complicated for a yes or no answer. “From personal experience, obsession is not what you want. Not when it’ll eat you whole.” That caused another bout of eyebrow-wiggling confusion.

After a moment, they said, “Maybe they were just obsessed with being in love? Obsessed with obsession is how things end up…no good.” Bella felt her eyes widen in shock. For a drunk person, someone who could barely remember a conversation from a moment ago and for completely disregarding personal space, that was shockingly coherent.

In their short months together, Bella couldn’t count the number of times Edw- he talked about falling in love. Their late nights together were spent half in silence, just gazing into each other's eyes, and the other half was spent talking about anything they felt the need to say. For Bella, it was what she was thinking, how she was raised, things she liked. For him, it was how long he had waited for her, for someone who sung for him and made him feel loved as he had seen Esme and Carlisle interact throughout their many years. She remembered the way his eyes shined as he talked about them, about the love they had for one another, the way they fit together better than anyone he had seen in his 100 years.

“I have that now, with you.” He whispered before kissing her, putting any conviction he had in the statement with the first press against her lips. And she had believed him, wholeheartedly. Looking back on it now, she can see why Charlie and her friends were worried for her. Months of on and off, of not knowing if Bella was gaining his attention in a good or bad way, the way he proclaimed his love to her within a month or two of knowing her. But…she could still feel his insistence, his devotion, and the love that sparkled in his eyes when they were together. There was no way that wasn’t real…was it?

“Maybe you’re right…” Bella whispered, neither convinced nor closed off to the possibility. These last few months have given her a lot of time to think things through. Writing to Alice had helped a little in the beginning, but having Jacob there to talk to, to finally have someone to open up to, especially after learning his own secret, their friendship had never been closer. He was always there for her, especially on the bad days, and cheered her on when she was able to get back on her own feet. After finally asking out the girl of his dreams, he didn’t abandon her, instead introducing them so Bella was always welcome without a hint or suspicion of something else, something unsaid, being there. Bella felt a swell of adoration when she thought of Jacob, but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t the way she felt with him. But was that such a bad thing?

“You’re frowning.” Bella started, flinching as a hand gently pressed on the space between her eyebrows. She hadn’t even realized they had pushed together.

“You’ve given me something to think about.” That caused a smile.

“Really?” Bella nodded. “Good! I’m not just a pretty face, you know.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Bella laughed. Their smile brightened even more. In one swift motion, with far too much coordination for someone so drunk, they threw their arms around her, pulling her close and smacking a wet kiss against her cheek. Bella’s face flared bright red.

“And you’re not just a pretty face too! You’re a gorgeous face with a kind heart!” They slumped against her, resting their head against Bella’s shoulder, snuggling as close as they could in their awkward position. “Thank you for explaining things to me. I think it made me fall in love with you.”

“Wha-” Bella stuttered. They laughed loudly, pressing their lips against her cheek again with more teeth than necessary.

“And you’re funny! You have to give me your number now. I’m not gonna let that stank bag get to you before me this time.”

Joke or not, Bella couldn’t help her burning ears or the way her heart beat out of them. She also couldn’t help the way her heart skipped a beat. The first time in a long time.

______________________________________________________________

masterlist l What is Laufeyfest? l Laufeyfest masterlist

#twilight imagine #bella swan imagine #bella swan one shot #bella swan x reader #bella x reader #laufeyfest #twilight one shot #edward cullen slander #someonexsomeone

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solarnomoon · 1 year

Text

love is an art form — 11

design 11,,, the dinner

heeseung leans over to the boy next to him, whispering so no-one else could hear him, "i thought it was gonna just be me and you and the other two?"

yn laughs at his words, pulling away from him, saying in a soft voice, "the other two?"

"you know what i mean ynie."

yn rolls his eyes but with no malice within his sight, replying to him, "yeah but they all wanted to go too and i wasnt gonna stop them."

at this point, jay drapes his arm around heeseungs shoulder, mocking him with a pout on his face, "awe, did wittle heeseung want a wittle double date?"

the only thing he gets back in response is a flick to his forehead. "well ow. why do your fingers hurt like hell?" jay rubs his forehead, pulling his arm off of heeseung.

"i play piano. my fingers might be my strongest feat."

niki just side-eyes heeseung across the table, then directs his attention toward yn. "mm, i bet you'd know yn, wouldn't you?"

sunoo and jungwon look at jay with their mouths open, while sunghoon and jake just bust out laughing. yn gets embarrassed but not more than heeseung, who physically turns his head away from the rest of the group.

"in shock, in tears, ive got to go." yn speaks, shaking his head. although, he just laughs right after, patting heeseung on the back. "aye, you thought it was funny too right?"

"haha, yes i did, whatever," heeseung responds, lifting some of the brisket into his mouth.

right after he finishes though, he goes back to the ear of an unsuspecting yn, who's conversing with sunghoon and jake across the table, before saying, "if you wanna try though yn, i can show you~" and making yn push heeseung playfully.

...

"so is it true that enhypen is coming back with a full group video after 2 months?" yn asks jungwon, niki, and sunoo, as the other four are conversing among themselves.

jungwon nods, "yeah, we recorded a cooking one together, which should be coming out soon... like a week or so?"

"ah i'm so excited! it's so crazy to me that i'm at kbbq with my favorite youtube guys ever."

sunoo raises his eyebrow, "but weren't you friends with sunghoon and jay before enhypen even existed? was it crazy then?"

"to be honest, yeah just a little. i didn't expect them to become so popular so quick, but i guess it makes sense considering you guys are just fucking cool and genuinely relatable." yn takes a bite of his food before continuing, "plus, every single video i've watched of you guys has just been so funny like..." and he continues, not noticing the girl that stops nearby their table.

"heeseung, is that you?!" a shrill voice pierces the air, and the group turns to look toward the source of said voice. "oh my god, how i've missed you!" and with that, the girl with the voice runs over to him and basically pushes jay to the side to sit in the guy's lap, before giving him a peck on his cheek.

yn turns to sunghoon, then to sunoo across the table, mouthing "who is that?"

jay then proceeds to say out loud, without a thought in his mind because of the corn he's munching, "oh, it's heeseung's girlfriend."

yn proceeds to turn his head toward heeseung.

"girlfriend?"

previous : masterlist : next

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

an,,, this one has writing (566 words)! and to clarify: they have a yt channel still called enhypen, just think of them like one of those friend group channels that do random shit LOL (i have been binging their enlogs & therefore felt inspired :o)

taglist (open!): @hyuniiehoney @roulette010 @lovelypitasworld @blehhhidk @curly-fr13s @to-toad @buttersmama @sunshinefox35 @lonewolfjinji

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transitioningpirate · 7 months

Text

today - 03/11 - dates exactly one month since i've started t!!!!! i'm so happy and honestly so pleased with everything. i had a bit of a bad month (got sick, had a bit of a falling out with someone and then i got sick again) but seeing the effects it's had on me already makes me honestly so happy. and thinking about what's to come makes me so much happier!! it's been a while since i realized i actually was feeling excited for the long term future. it's amazing.

here's some of the changes i noticed:

same as the last list - hunger and thirst have increased a lot. the doctor says it's because of my metabolism, it's much faster now. this is good but also bad because i keep forgetting to drink water. this is something that i've always struggled with. before this week, i've already ended up in a hospital because of dehydration like three times. anyways, i used to live in an island, very used to humidity, and this year, for college, i moved to a town that's, like, over an hour away from the nearest beach. it's very very dry. and like i said before, in november we were hit by a terrible heat wave, and it all piled up: fast metabolism, heat wave, dry place, me forgetting to drink water frequently, and you guessed it: i ended up at the hospital yesterday :(. had to take some pain meds and some saline, but im totally fine now, and ill make sure it doesn't happen again!

so much more energy. i know i said this already, but it's crazy, seriously, i have so much more energy just in general, for everything. it's amazing. ive been sleeping better, eating better, working harder, studying more, it's crazy. my mood has increased a lot, too, actually, especially after my second t shot.

irritability, but i think this has more to do with my personal life. a bit of tmi here: i was seeing someone until not long ago but some not-very-nice stuff happened, and i asked for a break (with no intention of returning, mind you, despite what he so confidently claimed) and immediately after realized i very likely had an sdt for the first time in my whole life. for the record, this is the only person ive slept with this whole year, basically. so. yeah, i was stressed, you can say that. spent a bit of money on meds, and im already feeling much much better, but it definitely took me down for a couple days, emotionally and physically, and i honestly think my irritability came from that, but maybe t had a hand on it too? who knows

two friends of mine claimed im growing a moustache, but i dont think so yet. i already had a very thin very small moustache before, and maybe it's getting a bit thicker? i haven't noticed it personally except in one (01) picture i took with a weird lightning. im not sure... but i like to think so! maybe it's just starting to get thicker and it'll actually grow eventually!

acne. i bought a soap for my face specifically, and i use it everyday, sometimes twice a day, so it's not as bad as it could be, but it's definitely present. mostly in my forehead and my chin. it's easily taken care of, though, and doesn't hurt and barely shows, so it's whatever

my voice has definitely gotten deeper! not significantly so, but it definitely has, it's noticeable, and i love it so much. i love listening my own voice. i love listening to myself talk. i love it, love it love it love it so much. i record so much more audios on wpp now, i like hearing them back, i like hearing myself!!!!! it's the best. ive never felt this way about my voice before. im so happyyyy <3<3

it's so hooooot god i feel hot almost all of the time, everywhere it's warm and i sweat sooooo much. doubled my deodorant use and i have no regrets. it's not a bad thing, but it is mildly inconvenient sometimes, ngl. living in this hot as all hell town definitely doesn't help. ive wore more light and freeing clothes and it actually helps a lot, though. plus, my baby cousin's birthday this month will be a pool party, so im hella excited for that!!!!!!

if i can think of anything else, ill add onto this. thank you so much :3

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polyamorouspunk · 7 months

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Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Was out with mountain boy last night and 1. I learned how to say ‘i love you’ in latin (te amo) and 2. Very much questioning the whole arospec thing because of this boy. Cause for the first time in my *life* the feelings have lasted more than 2 weeks. Its been 2 months. HOLY SHIT IVE BEEN DATING MOUNTAIN BOY FOR 2 MONTHS

But yeah. And also like. As of last night its like *new feeling unlocked* like I’ve had butterflies but I’ve never had butterflies to the degree that Im *still* having butterflies over something 24 HOURS later. And like. That could also just be from being in the middle of a flare that my emotions just are not regulating correctly but like. I feel like I just unlocked emotions 2.0. So maybe I am the actual rare case of ‘you just haven’t been with the right guy yet’ which is infuriating but also I *like* these feelings

But also on the whole chronic illness front - WE FUCKING HATE IT HERE and Im downing ibuprofen like its candy (that is a joke for those that need told). So if my brain could just stop having the 404 error causing both thinking and motor skill problems atm that would be great

Uuhhhhh OH! And therapy is now once a month instead of every other week so I guess thats a plus

Those are my life updates bro how are you?? I miss chatting with you I feel like I never have time to be on here anymore

*answers like a week later* whaaaat I always have time to chat haha 😅😅

Well I’m glad you feel that way! I know personally I can only feel that way with people I’ve met irl even if it’s just meeting them once. I love that feeling though, I’m always chasing that high.

It’s been two months 😭 where has the time gone

I love my best friend to pieces but hanging out with her and her husband was soooo. For someone who’s “autistic and touch-adverse” homegirl SURE did a 180 on that. Third wheel for a week straight 😐 I support her not conforming to social norms even when it’s embarrassed me in the past but like. Boundaries. When you are with someone else. I always made sure that I was never super PDA or hung up on my ex when we were dating because I never wanted to make someone feel like a third wheel and uh. Yeah that’s why.

I just started my meds back up, I’m back on Prozac after my hiatus from taking meds. It reached the point where I’m like “okay yeah maybe my meds were doing SOMETHING even if they weren’t WORKING exactly so MAYBE I should go back on them and be a LITTLE less crazy”. I intend on starting therapy back up. I have free therapy through work, probably Better Help, but it’s probably better than nothing. I already know my data’s on the dark web from all the times my bank account has been hacked so I don’t need to worry about them selling my personal info 😅

I was planning on graduating this semester but that’s not happening :) so next semester it is.

My mom wants to come back up next summer and my best friend and I have been trying to plan matching tattoos and we talked about getting them up there where I got them last time so maybe I’ll see you then! Sick New World already sold out so I guess that plan is a bust 😅

#punk gets mail

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ghostwing404 · 6 months

Text

Memories of a Ronin, A Future Leo Au that has been floating around my head for WEEKS.

Look one of my first ACTUAL post's on tumblr, Elow hoomans! So recently ive been apsolutely obsessed with Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, ROTTMNT. Ive scrounged up all content i can find on them and espetually on the Future Timeline from the Movie, (and the movie in general, Technodrome My Beloved) but this idea in piticular has been floating around in my Brain juices for a bit. Everything goes the same initally, Mikey open's the portal, Casey goes through and yes Leo Dies...but not really. His fam, or some bored Deity wanting to see him both suffer more and heal throws his memories back in time, and only his memories. so shortly after the Shredder is taken down and our boi's are healing from that and the sudden increse in Goverment intrest in Mutants and Yokai (they blew a fucking hole through new york from the hidden city that was Seen from SPACE. The world would have noticed that and you can't tell me EPF isnt imediately Swarming.) plus finding a new home and a long list of other stuff Leo begins having odd Dreams and nightmares, at first its just small things, Flashes of fights yet to occur, both from years in the future and litterally a few hours from now, then they start getting a little too spicific, Mikey and him Eating with "Casey" This kid who he seems to care alot about who looks a bit like Foot Recruit, A Fight alongside Raph who looks much older and is missing an eye, Teleporting around like he was born too and then later memories lacking any Mystic's from him at all. The first real Horrid one he has despite the Mess of dead bodies and horridly messy Kraang Zombies he see's nightly already keeping him from sleep is him loosing his arm, he feels it from his own eyes, just like everything else he's seeing in these dreams, their like Memories and alike memories their not always that clear but this...this was far to...detailed. He Can remember what he saw but while in the Dreams he knows he has more Context, details that slip when he wakes up. some eventually stick, like Casey's name was initally slipping and then Stuck better after a dream where Casey saved him from a fucking Lazer when the kid was like 9...he knows by his own orders the kid wasnt allowed out of the base for a full 3 months after that one cus it scared him so much. As his current life calms down, they settle into the new lair and things go mostly back to normal, With Leo's only worry being Raph's constant attacks on his Judgement as leader (and his messy attempts at being leader...), Donnie fighting The Purple Dragons randomly again over some sort of Shitty charity (its Autism speaks and they faught over it at first, relized they were both trying to tear it apart and started working together to take it down, then faught again on who got to keep the money...) And Mikey's art started to make the place feel more like home his nightmares started to get worse. For almost a year straight Leo spent his waking hours trying to do his job as leader right, and living life and his "Sleeping Hours" trying to not sleep by any means nessicary or wimmpering in his sleep as another person dies on his orders or he finds another Scull of someone who was once an Ally...or he watches Raph Die...that was the worst and when his brothers truely saw the extent of these nightmares. They knew he's been having them but he's always had a hard time sleeping and they assumed it was just from the new stress of being leader and what happened with the Shredder which they were all having nightmares about. then the Screaming, it would be the middle of the day (Da Boi's are Nocturnal) 3pm and Donnie (Twin things) and quite often Mikey and Raph would wake up to Sobbing or screaming from Leo's room. it became routine when this happened for one of them to go and just Sit with him till he woke up because they learned pretty early on, you cannot try to Wake him up or Pizza Forbid Touch him because he will come up Swinging and he does have rather long Claws (Raph has a nasty Scar on his arm from one of these incidents)

And because tumblr decided to be funny and DELETE MY WHOLE FUCKING DRAFT! Ima just give you the TLDR- Future Leo's memories are sent to the past somehow and Mini Leo starts getting them as Nightmares or odd feeling first person dreams that he remembers too well just after the shredder incident, they get worse as things calm down and the bois find a new lair and then rather suddenly get better (for everyone else, Leo just remembered how to Cry Silently on instinct because as the leader of the resistance and dealing with nightmares for over 20 years by boi is VERY good at silently going through it on instinct.) life goes back to normal, Leo's an oddly good leader now taking things seriously and life is good though everyone is noticing something off about Leo as time goes on. a Bad fight with a Newer, more ruthless and unfamiliar villain causes those worries to be quickly justified as Leo kills at least half of them after Mikey is taken down hard enough to lightly crack his shell. he runs off and the group gets a distress signal from across the city almost 3 hours later, they find him bloody and missing his fucking arm with zero explanation as too why or how. (he Cut it off during his Mental break and in the process got back ALL his memories. Why? Imagine being a 38 year old War vet who just lost aforementioned war and then your suddenly shoved into your 15-16 year old self's body but not really cus its just him getting your memories, on the flip side imagine being a carefree 15 year old teen who's lived his life in reckless abandon for years learning not only does one of his own mistakes cause the apocalypse but he's not even really himself anymore as he forcefully is given the memories of his future self. ya that's alot my dude, id have a mental break and cut off the arm i already lost too. anyways that happens, Leo now has to carefully keep up appearances while looking for the key (he made up a good story to explain the missing arm.) he finds the Key, makes an excused about Spending the night with Cassandra (they have been getting closer to her recently) and Steals it, then ends up fighting his brothers because unlike his normal teams of Highly trained miliary soldiers he's instead stuck with 3 chaotic teenage brothers who will easily run off on a mission without So much as Leaving a note for their Leader. Because of that oversight and Leo refusing to reveal his identity beleving he needs to keep the key away from his family too the world is once again in danger because of one Hamato Leonardo. Hours later he's making plans with his brothers to get the damn thing back before they start the ritual (only thing they know so far is that thing is very dangerous in the foot clan's hands and they NEED to get it back imediately, Leo is still Leo so seeing him this damn serious about something makes them all listen) then of of course April comes in with a certain Casey Jones JR and Leo almost breaks, Casey wakes up in barely 5 minutes and the 2 imediately star talking in this...well is defentally a code of some kind (Basicly a bunch of languages, Conlangs and Literial word codes hiding under a trench coat pretending to be a single language, Grammar doesn't exist here and Donnie (whos the one that made it) is Absolutely appalled... no one can understand a lick of it but whatever they just talked about seems to have been agreed on and Leo's now updating their plan to include this RANDOM FUCKING KID WHO AMBUSED APRIL. a light explanation that they know each other and Shadow (Casey short for Shadow Scull a nickname he gave himself when he was 6 and that he never really escaped) was here to help them. This time they get the Key and Leo literally sends it to the fucking SUN but of course everyone is very concerned about WTF is going on with Leo (which is now becoming far more apparent as he interacts with Shadow...something changed) Of course Foot clan are still stupid and Fucking Stubborn and thus we begin dealing with the foot's shenanigans plus Leo's odd behavior, at the same time! woo.

Original inspiration from here and my own Brain mostly.

Spelling went to die i regret nothing

#rottmnt leonardo #rise leo #ROTTMNT AU #rottmnt movie #f!leonardo #Future Leonardo #rottmnt casey jr #rottmnt future au #rottmnt future leo #Memories of a Ronin #MoaRAU #tw light gore #He cut off his own arm but i don't describe it much.

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ellie-lovett · 1 month

Text

ive been having a lot of thoughts recently...

i had this group of friends from middle school to end of freshman year. we had a falling out at the end of freshmen year and i havent really spoken with them since, aside from a few months the following year, and theres one i really want to reach out to. they never did anything personal to hurt me, and while i do remember not getting along with them a couple of times, they only seemingly stopped being my friend along when everyone else did. there was one that i did reach out to, but they never responded. i do wish they and i were still friends, and i acknowledge i wasnt the best friend to them, but i recognize that there may have been things i may not remember that i did to harm them in some way. or maybe they were on the fence and just left when everyone else did. (this is a different person than the first paragraph) im fine with them not responding, i just...wish things had been different i suppose

i dont want to reach out to the second one again because i dont want to bother them (tho i did send it i think 3 years ago now so maybe they feel a little different? not gonna take that chance tho.) I kinda want to reach out to the first one because when i reconnected with them for a time the next year, they actually really welcomed me back. even tho it didnt last, im thankful for that.

i had these two people in particular blocked for some time. the first one i just unblocked a few days ago, and the other one i unblocked when i sent them the message. there are a few others in that group i wont unblock, but this isnt about them.

i also randomly developed a crush on one of my online friends i met thru some irl friends, but thats since faded (thankfully.)

course now im worried one of them will find this and share it to them but this is the first time ive gone in depth anywhere online about it, and its tumblr so really is the one person whos on here going to find this post? probably not.

i feel that i may be very paranoid and i think they think of me as often as i think of them, which when it all went down was constant, but has since shifted to like a week every 6 months where i really want to reconcile with these two people.

plus most of this happened almost 6 years ago so like idk. hopefully none of them will find it, and if they somehow do...god i hope theyre nice.

#long post #very long post #text heavy #cw long post #maybe i shouldnt tag this but these are vague tags

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moonjxsung · 2 months

Note

ALSKDKDJF OKAYYY !!! I’m glad it’s not a bother !!! I overthink sometimes alskdkjf

urgh so I am having A WEEK :( I hope it’s okay I rant a bit … alslkskdj

helurf okay so after midterms last week, I’ve been trying to like relax and give myself time to rest but IVE HAD SO MANY ASSIGNMENTS :((( and I’m so tired and burnt out and stressed cause I need to start studying for finals and ahhhhhh alsksjjdjf :(

okay now for some more fun updates!! i had fun at uni yesterday!! we had a super fun soil science lab we got to go into soil pits on the farm our campus has and analyze soil (ph, diagnostic horizons, colour, structure, texture etc) !! It was a lot of fun I’m gonna miss the class and my prof :( (it was my last lab)

another fun thing is its art market week at my uni so time to drop a ton of money on prints, stickers and crocheted animals !!! :D

AND okay so I made it into a special like abroad research kinda program/course in like that’s usually only available to upper years students but somehow I made it in alskkskdjdj . Anyways, we get to go to South Africa from like May 14-June 9 to do research and stuff in the field!!! and like IM SO EXCITED??? So anyways, the 19 students that also made it in (it’s a highly competitive program to get into) we had our second group meet up plus our prof (who taught my favourite class by far last term) yesterday and it was a lot of fun and we got free dinner which was super super yum and I can’t believe I’m actually going ahhhhh

and then I went to a friends house for dinner (yes, dinner again) which was fun we like catch up at least once a month and yeah

Anyways sorry for the truck load of information about my life weh

HOW IS YOUR LIFE STAR!!! I WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOU!! (With whatever ur feeling comfy sharing 💗)

🌱

UGH I always forget how close together exam season is WHYYYY ARE UR FINALS ALREADY RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER….. 💔💔 I believe in you angel manifesting all the best for you frfr you’re smart I know you got this 🫶🫶🫶🫶

AHHHH UR UNI LAB SOUNDED SO FUN I love labs where you just get to go outside and do stuff in nature it’s fr so healing 👼 I took a geology course in college where we got to go to this creek near my school and like test the ph balance of the water and it was so much fun being outside instead of cooped up in the lecture hall fr one of the best labs we ever did. AND the art market this week???? RAHHH HAVE SO MUCH FUN we used to have something similar at my uni and I would drop SO much on stickers not even joking my laptop is covered in them still :’)

ALSO OH MY GOD??? TO THE STUDY ABROAD PROGRAM?????? STOP THAT SOUNDS SO FIXKIFNT FUNNNNN IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU WYAHWJDNRJ CONGRATS ON GETTING IN BB ‼️‼️ I didn’t have to do study abroad when I was in college bc covid hit but I can’t wait to hear all about yours and live vicariously thru ur updates AHHHH and it’s coming up so soon !! WOWOWOWOW HAVE THE BEST TIME ILY ILY THATS SO FUN

My day was honestly vvvvv boring but it was productive! I had work and then I had a shit ton of laundry to do but I was tired as fuck and I have cramps bc my period started today so I got coffee first to wake me up and then after cleaning the apartment I caught up on Ateez vlogs and now I’m simultaneously writing and watching Zelda gameplay 👼 I think my emotions are like ten times worse rn because of my period so I’m just taking it easy but I have a huge party to go to this weekend and a lot of my friends are gonna be there so I need to get my shit together and stop being sad bc I don’t want to bring the mood down ☹️ why do I always have a party in the same week I feel like shit LOL the last time I had one my situationship and I got into a huge fight and my sister had to be checking on me like every 5 minutes bc I was borderline crying the whole night it was so embarrassing 😭 (I am so tired of crying over this same girl oh my god)

ANYWAYS I LOVE U ANGEL IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND I CANT WAIT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT UR STUDY ABROAD TRIP RAHHH THATS SO EXCITING CONGRATS AGAIN ILY ILY 🩷💖💞💘💕💓👼

#🌱 anon #ask

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forestryfae · 6 months

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man it is SO nice to find a solution to a really shit problem only for 50 other problems to happen

i am completely alone with zero support in a house i hate, doing as much housework as possible so it can be manageable both in day to day life and so its not hard to just leave when i move, and i still am not getting any help getting rid of the stuff.

i have almost no money and i have to pay to take the train to buy food or neccessities and i was dumb enough to not send a letter sooner so i dont know if ill get my money until after christmas or not, i havent bought more than one christmas gift either cus im fucking broke, and i dont feel anywhere in my body that i want to spend time making something for anyone. my brother still isnt done paying me my money back and literally hasnt talked to me since last time he asked for money, my dad hasnt fucking talked to me in ages and the one time he called in summer it was out of boredom to ask when i was gonna visit them, none of my extended relatives talk to me at all so what the fuck is the point there, and my mom is just. a fucking bitch.

i had her removed as a legal guardian, not even on purpose initially but because folkenemnda or whoever sent her a letter before i was able to have a meeting, so she ofc got fucking offended and now has decided sve cant be involved in anything. she cant call electricians, she cant help fix the house, its "too difficult" for her to have to talk to me or my new legal guardian instead of just buying stuff right away, and she told ME to get a new phone service provider. i had to fix that myself. on top of her being, once again, a useless bitch. dont touch my stuff i say, its fucking embarrassing that you have dirty laundry she implies while moving all my furniture around and doing shit to my kitchen while refusing to acknowledge its my house but still treating it like her own, and not fixing the internet again after they unplugged it.

so i have no access to internet besides my last 150 mb of phone data unless i call some guy to fix it, but they wont be here until next year most likely so its pretty much pointless, and if i buy phone data i have to pay. so if i cant get it fixed ill be literally alone for two weeks straight with no people at all around me and noone i can talk to on the internet. except for fucking. christmas. idk about new years eve. and i dont even fucking like my family, i dont even want to spend time with them, they treat me like shit.

the ac doesnt work since mom got the electricians to look at everything but never actually hired anyone to fix shit and now is completely uncooperative. and after they checked the fireplace in that control like two years ago im not allowed to use it, and mom never actually got that fixed either even though shes been in charge of absolutely everything since forever.

plus both heaters downstairs are set to 27c or max and it still is only like 17 or 19 or so, i have an entire room in the house i straight up cant use cus theres no power and no light and 17c in there and its full of stuff i asked mom to take to the thrift store for me 6 months ago. also i cant leave either heater on if im boiling water or washing dishes cus that overloads the entire fucking thing.

and its just like so much bullshit all at once and ive been spacing out for like 2 hours while writing this cus i get so frustrated and upset and angry and sad. its not fucking fair that my parents literally dont care about me, yet im expected to be fucking sociable and call and visit them and reach out. they didnt reach out to me or support me at all when i was a kid, or a teenager, or an adult, why the fuck would i want to deal with them. but if i dont go to visit them on christmas or i point out that hey. youre not really being fair or nice to me at all, hell breaks loose cus i should be more than happy with the crumbs they give me, as if theyre the best people in the world for fucking. calling once every six months or letting me celebrate a holiday with them.

like. im stuck here for 2 weeks, im broke as shit, no connection to the outside world once i use all my data, i very much am still mentally ill even if im better than before i went inpatient. but once i go back ill have to go back to work and i dont have a psychiatrist to talk to and im not on any meds i think i might need and i havent been tested for anything yet, i havent been had driving practice yet, i can barely talk to my support contact, i need a lot more help than i am being given, im not getting the help i ask for when i do ask for it, and thats on top of shit parents and a shit house and two cats i love but am not sure i can keep given the whole thing where im gone for months at a time. and i just. how the fuck am i supposed to be able to keep a job or ever move out or make friends properly or keep a new apartment or house or be mentally stable. its so much bullshit all at once wtf

#talkies

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frankieispunkk · 6 months

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Frankie's girl: a Frankie Morales x plus sized oc story.

MINORS DNI. PART ONE MENTONS OF PTSD.PAST ABUSE. PAST SMUT (she is Frankie's old best friend) war, insecurities. suggestive convos. drug abuse, Frankie deserving better

summery: Frankie has just returned from his 10 year deployment in Iraq, he left behind his old high school friend Daisy who he had always secretly liked, could he make it work with them?

Daisys pov

Daisy waits at the airport for Frankie and Santi, her two oldest friends, they have been gone on and off for around 10 years now in the delta force. they have been based all over the Middle East but most recently Iraq. Frankie has always been her best friend, they even hooked up in their early 20s, Frankie being the person to take her virginity when she was 21.

she is snapped out of her daydream by a tired looking Frankie and Santi coming through arrivals. "Frankie,santi!!" she calls out.

Frankie's pov:

He could tell that voice from anywhere,his Daisy,his oldest friend apart from Santi, his "hermosa" as he always called her a teenager.

he quickly walks though arrivals and finds her, he could spot her in a sea of a million people. she was always so beautiful. her chestnut brown hair which always had ringlocks, her curvaceous body which she always hated but Frankie found the most attrative thing ever, her smile that lit up any room she went into.

Frankies immediately wraps daisy In the biggest hug. "I've missed you so much" he says trying to hold back tears. "I've missed you too Frankie" she says sofly.

DAISYS r pov: as soon as Frankie comes into view it's like you are 15 again, he is still just as handsome as before, if not even more handsome. his angler nose and deep brown eyes are now joined by a slightly Aged face with a look of sadness, you always hated seeing Frankie sad but now you are just happy to see him alive and well. when he hugs you its like all the wieght and sadness of the past ten years had disappeared you had your Frankie back.

TWO WEEKS LATER.

DAISYS POV...

You are watching tv after a long day when there is a sudden knock on the door, “it’s 10pm who is knocking at my door at 10pm” you honestly feel anxious and your guard is completely up,the reality of being a woman in society. You look through the peephole to see a very sad and possibly drunk Frankie,you last saw him yesterday and he seemed very on edge but didn’t speak about it. You open the door and he nearly falls through it,he is most definitely drunk. “Hermosa” he slurs “Frankie,you’re freezing” it’s around 5 degrees outside and is out there in a tshirt. “Wtf” you hiss at him. “I’m sorry cariño,your place was the only place I thought of” “of course” you think to yourself.

“Stay here,I’ll go get you some clean clothes.” Frankie slumps down on the sofa and groans,he didn’t want you to see him like this. Weak,drunk,and sad. He is a shell of the man he once was,his brain constantly replaying the horrors that he been through the last 8 years. He puts his hands over his face and sighs.

“Here” you say softly, “bathroom is on the right”

Frankie stumbles to his feet and you help him to the bathroom where you wait outside for him,not fully trusting him alone. “You ok in there ciso?” You use the nickname you always called him as kids,you met in 7th grade and were best friends for 10 years and then Frankie wrote to you every single month. “Uh huh” Frankie says quietly. When he returns from the bathroom you’ve already got a blanket and pillow from your bedroom “I’ve got the sofa ok? You’ve got the bed,you need it” you softly say and smile at him. “Hermosa,you don’t have to give up your bed for me. I come into your house drunk and soaking wet and you give me clean clothes,medicine and then give up your own bed for me... I'm a junkie daisy the last two years ive been abusing coke" Frankie chokes back tears. “Look at me frankie,you have been my best friend since I was 12 years old,you always took care of me through everything. Now it’s my turn to take care of you ok,I can see how much you are struggling right now sweetheart, I know about the drugs, Santi told me its not your fault I am going to get you into rehab as soon as you feel strong enough until then ,just let me take care of you ok?” He pulls you into a hug,although he smells like cheap beer there is still an element of your Frankie,a musky smell that has always been Frankie. You rub his back softly and kiss his forehead. “We will talk tomorrow I promise” Frankie says sleeply”

“Get some sleep cariño” you say.

Frankie’s pov:

“I can’t do this anymore” Frankie thinks to himself after his forth beer he takes one big swig of water then stumbles outside to walk to her place. His mind is a minefield (quite literally) and his breathing is laboured. He stops for a moment to look at the mess he had become,the beer,the coke no wonder no one wants him. Its become a coping mechanism,the drugs the alcohol,now he’s back home,this isn’t training camp anymore this isn’t the trenches either,or a empty helicopter bay he can drown himself in coke in. He’s home,in his hometown. You’re here and he wants to make things right again…”like turning up at her house unannounced at 10pm high of my tits will help” he mutters to himself as he comes to your street. He meant to knock on your door quietly but he ends up being very heavy handed with it, and nearly falling through the door when you open it. he is soaking wet and freezing "mi hermosa" Frankie slurs, "wtf" you hiss at him as he stumbles into your house "I'm sorry carino your place was the only place I could think of." he can see right through you, he can see that you are confused and angry and he doesnt blame you, he would be too. "ill get you some clean clothes,you stay here ok" you say softly, Frankie slumps on to the sofa and puts his head in his hands, "I've really fucked up" he says to himself.

'here" you say handing him the soft warm clothes, "bathroom is on the right, ill be here if you need anything"

Frankie sleepily gets up and goes to the bathroom to put the fresh clothes on, the smell like you, the soft linen smell mixed with the faint smell of your perfume the you haven't had the heart to change since you were a teenager. Frankie inhales it as he puts the sweater over his head, he loves the fact your clothes are oversized on him, you were always so embarrassed as a teenager saying it should be the other way around but Frankie had none of it, he insisted that you were beautiful and shouldn't change for anyone. he is snapped out of his daydream by you shouting if he was ok, you used his nickname "Cisco" which gave him goosebumps, no one has ever called him that apart from you, he is either "catfish" or "Francisco" to everyone else

"uh huh" he says back quietly before opening the door to see you've made a make shift bed for him on the couch which he smiles at. "here, have some water and medicine, it shoukd make you sober up quicker. also you take the bed ill take the couch, you need it."

"hermosa you don't have to give up your own bed for me, I've turned up to your house unannounced and you give me clean clothes medicine and a bed? I don't deserve any of this, the last two years have been hell, I'm addicted to coke daisy, I don't deserve a friend like you"

" look Frankie you have been my best friend since I was 12, you've helped me through such tough times now its my turn to take care of you, I know about the coke, Santi told me. I am going to be there every single step of the way I promise, I will get you into rehab when you are ready but until then I'm taking care of you ok?

Frankie is overwhemed with emotion and the only thing he can do is pull you into the tightest hug. he feels you rub his back softly, he wants to break down there and then but he knows he cant. " we will talk tomorrow I promise" he says into your hair.

#frankie morales #pedro pascal characters #frankie morales fic #francisco catfish morales #frankie morales x you #frankie morales fluff

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nin-jay-go · 1 year

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mmmmmmm i have only been thinking about ninjago for the past few weeks. you will be here for my brainrot

so ive got this rewrite i'm working on rn, which ive called alterline (portmanteau of alternate timeline) since like 2018. ive picked it back up and i'm officially working on the rewrite, but for it i added a few new seasons. specifically 3 brand new fanseasons.

the other two don't matter right now. all that matters is s17. my mad science season.

fun fact about me i am in love with mad science stuff and i figured hey! why not! i needed to do Something with my s17, so why not work some fucked up science into it :)

the tldr for those who don't wanna hear me ramble or don't wanna see what i will be rambling about (bc heavy tw for mad science themes like body horror, vivisection, and general medical malpractice) is below, but one bit of information before we proceed. nya is still the ocean. let her stay dead for longer than 2 episodes !

s17 is a kai focus! he and the ninja get invited to a lab by a scientist to run some tests (they are still powerless), but she traps them and runs experiments on them. there, they find out that 1) nya is alive now, 2) dr cy is working with aspheera, and 3) the new ninja are clones of the old ninja. kai ends up blowing the lab up and going on a minor destructive arc before calming down. the rest of the season focuses on the new ninja realizing they're clones and helping the old ninja take out mayor trustable.

so now that the summary is over. time to get into the details (or just what i have so far)

hi thanks for uncovering the hell. i'm gonna be rambling for a while.

again, this is a kai-focused season! we haven't had one since my s11 and he deserves to have a focus. as a treat :) (i realize this is just kai suffers the season. i realize that. but it's fiiiiine don't worry)

some prehistory for the season. dr cy calls up aspheera for her magical talents, and they summon nya together. they pull her from the ocean and violently rip her back into her body. of course, she can only be here if her powers are gone, so aspheera drains her water powers. nya has no memory of who she was or what she's doing here. she just knew she was the ocean. and now she's here.

a month later, the ninja are ninja-ing. it's been a year since the events of crystalized, two since nya died. that's the longest any of them stayed dead (sans morro who was dead for 40 years). kai really misses her, but has accepted the fact that she's gone. (she helped out in crystalized, but she wasn't really nya. she was the sea)

he runs into dr cy, who offers him and the ninja an opportunity to get tested. she could figure out the origin of elemental powers and help restore them to the ninja. they deserve their powers back, after saving the world so many times! she's a huge fan!

kai discusses it with the team, who agree that it's worth a shot at least. pixal stays behind since she's mostly unaffected by elemental nonsense, but also to keep an eye on the new ninja. she doesn't trust them. plus, if it ends up being bad, she can break them out.

the first tests kinda go normally, just general doctor checkups. she's just being a little bit weird about the nonhuman members of the team (aka everyone but kai), but a lot of people end up being weird about it. jay's publically part snake, zane's obviously a nindroid, lloyd is lloyd, cole used to be dead, and morro's got their own thing going on.

(oh. some background context. in my rewrite the ninjas' public identities are secret. the only ones with a face and name known to the public are lloyd and morro, to an extent, and jay for those who remember the alternate timeline)

when the ninja thank cy for her time and investigation, she uh. traps them in there JKDFSHKJSFDH because she needs to find out where elemental power comes from. and how she can bring it back for the ninja. to restore them to their full glory.

they're stuck in there for a while. a week, maybe? i haven't decided how long exactly, but a Long Time. pixal does try and rescue them but is taken out by aspheera with water powers, meaning pixal is the first person to find out about nya being alive. she doesn't take it well, so she and aspheera are kinda duking it out out there

meanwhile, the ninja are being put through tests to activate what's called their elements' emergency response, aka a hypercharged form designed for protecting the body and the element. kind of like nya's merged form with the ocean, but temporary. cy is trying to activate the emergency response through putting the guys through Situations that they don't like one bit. one of them included kai in a super frozen room and zane in a super boiling room, morro being pretty much buried, and other stuff like that.

sometimes she tries to stimulate them further by exposing them to their element, like frying jay or lloyd with electrical currents, or piling heavy boulders on cole. maybe that will trigger their emergency responses, but nothing seems to work. she even tries it out with nya to see if she can summon back her water powers, but nya's kind of being a sad sack of amnesia right now.

speaking of nya, she's just kinda. here? around the lab? she's mostly locked in her cell, but she treats aspheera and cy as important people, like parents. she trusts them. she's also kinda having a bad time physically, constantly melting and dripping water. she's not really a solid person right now :(

[tw for vivisection begins here] so eventually, cy tries to take it a step further and pulls out some Forbidden Things. she needs to make kai's fire act up more. he's 100% human still. how would his body react to parts of a fire dragon? so she tries it out, doing a quick lung transplant to see if, maybe, the lungs being close to the heart could kickstart a bit of fire. maybe even some dragon blood? all to see how kai reacts to it.

he reacts badly.

congratz on the dragon parts now, kai! the last human is no longer human, not fully. he refuses to acknowledge that he isn't fully human anymore, denying that he'll probably never breathe the same way humans do again. it's fine. he's fine. [end tw]

through this, however, cy decides to keep a closer eye on his developments. eventually, she lets him in on a secret. she leads him to the back of the lab, a room that no one is allowed to enter. she shows him what's inside.

it's cloning pods. she had already had their dna for who knows how long, and had used it to essentially clone them. make perfect ninja replicas. ones that had all their skills. only five managed to survive the process and come out the other end alive. cy reveals this was something she was hired by mayor trustable to do, and when the clones finished growing, he took them off her hands.

but she's always hated him for that. the original ninja would always be superior. the clones could not come close, ever. that's why she's so adamant about bringing their powers back. she wants them to wipe their clones out and prove they're superior.

kai thinks that's absolutely unhinged and manages to escape, running through the lab. he took a wrong turn and finds a cell, where nya is sitting. his sister is alive. he and nya talk, but it's obvious she doesn't know who he is, or who she even is. kai promises to get her out, but nya doesn't understand. he leaves and gets captured and sent back to his cell.

he goes to visit nya's cell sometimes, now that he knows where she is. he tries reminding her of her memories, to which she listens to best she can. she's a bit... spacey. but it's ok, they're bonding.

that is, until cy catches him visiting her and gets pissed. she threatens to hurt nya if he doesn't back off and go back to his cell, to which he snaps and activates his emergency response. his sister is in danger. he would not let his family be in danger.

he becomes a wildfire and destroys the lab. it gets burned down, its entire foundation gone. and for her cruelty, for what she did to him, his friends, his family, his sister, kai kills dr cy.

still in his emergency response, he can't do much other than rampage, a living wildfire. the others find nya and they all get out of there. pixal, meanwhile, is holding kai back and fighting him off. he's not kai right now, just a mess of fire and rage. it hurts to see him like this.

but nya sees him like that. memories flood back. the element of water rushes back to her (aspheera losing hold on the magic) and she turns back into the sea. she has her memories. she stares kai in the firey face and they calm each other down. their emergency states fade away, leaving two not-quite humans in their wake. kai realizes what he did in his state. nya realizes how long it's been. they're both sobbing messes against each other.

now that cy and the lab are gone, and nya and kai have their elements back, there's two issues to solve. the first is the others' elements, which they don't really want to trigger the emergency response for. the other is the new ninja, their clones.

the og ninja decide to tell the new ninja directly that they know they're clones. turns out the new ninja also did not know they were clones. so that was a fun development where the new ninja realize that Oh God. they're not even actual people. they were just made for one purpose.

the bizarros also get involved. it becomes very confusing to have like three people with the same face in the same room, but the bizarros deserve to know there's clones of their light counterparts. i'm normal about my bizarros.

with their combined effort, they overthrow mayor trustable. and everyone lives happily ever after. more or less.

the new ninja agree to also be city protectors, since they were literally made for that, but that they'll also learn to live their own lives and figure out who they are as people. they aren't the bizarros, who are kinda predisposed to doing bad things.

kai is having a time, meanwhile. he killed someone. he isn't human anymore. he's changed. if there's any more room left in the season, it's left for kai to discover who he is again. maybe he goes on a vacation. they all can go on vacation. they deserve it.

how did the others get their elements back? fuck if i know <3 i haven't gotten that far yet kjdhfgkjdhfg

#alterline.png #jay.error #ninjago fanseason #unnamed for now but it's gonna get a name at some point #kai's suffering arc <3 #basically gonna be his version of skybound #nya also is a minor focus this season #kinda like zane in s11 #or cole in my s6 #long post #cuz uh. i sure did ramble #may reblog with more information soon? idk #suggestions welcome o/

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