#just cause they disagree w a choice you made.

[moe-broey]

FUCK YOUR FATHER FUCK YOUR FATHER FUVK YOUR FATHWR FU--

#final one tonight (and the one i was looking for when i found the other one i was initially looking for) #(in my. fucking. folder.) #this has to be book 1??? i'm certain it is (shot taken revisiting prev books) #still like. this is so fuvked up. like. it's been so long and so it's easy to forget (esp w gustav being canonically dead now) #but like. imagine having a parent who refuses to fucking talk to you in your own fucking house #just cause they disagree w a choice you made. #and like as i say that i know for some people they don't have to imagine. severely fucked up and i'm so sorry. #UGH..... IT'S JUST...... SO UNFATHOMABLY CRUEL. #oh but he's just strict. a stern father figure. dude shut up i'm gonna throw up LMFAOOOOO #also not to be queer about it but oh my god. holy shit. oh my fucking god. jesus fucking christ. FUCK #there are many reasons alfonse fire emblem makes me insane and unwell and this js one of them #to me he's like. def queer but not in a way where it's visible. heavily influenced/defined by his agab and how he was raised due to it. #he has Just Enough things going for him to make it so he has done Everything Right. #and yet. that does not free him from SO many horrors. in a way he's punished for it. but it's all he's ever known. #it's normal. he's normal. everything is normal. this is just how it's supposed to be. #i'm going to chew on his arm. gnaw at his fuvking shoulders. have him sit on my lap and be held. #for once in his fuckinh life. #what thw fuck ever man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EXPLODE ‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 #fe alfonse

[newtthetranswriter]

hii can u write a cuddle session with yuuta?

Summary: Just a lazy day cuddling and watching The Dragon Prince.

Paring: Yuta x gn!Reader

Word Count: 874

A/N: Thank you for requesting this. I love cuddles with Yuta, he’s just so sweet. I couldn’t help but use the dragon prince as the show they watch while cuddling because it’s one of my favorites right now and if you’ve watched you should understand my comparisons, if you haven’t watched it I highly recommend, it has such diversity and has the same feel as Avatar the Last Airbender, plus there are a bunch of easter eggs for atla because one of the creators was also a writer and producer on Avatar. Anyway, enjoy this lovely piece and let me know what you think. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT

Dating Yuta has been a dream come true. He is the sweetest guy I have ever met and it feels like he understands me better than anyone. It’s almost like he can sense when I’m having a bad day because today he suggested that we skip hanging out with our friends to just stay in and watch one of my favorite shows. So, that's exactly what we are doing right now, we’er cuddled up on my bed with a bowl of skittles on my lap watching The Dragon Prince on netflix.

I just really enjoy laying with him and commenting on the little jokes each character makes or judging Viren for being a horrible father. We also like to try and figure out which character reminds us of each other and our friends, that’s the current debate we are having.

“There is no way Toge is Claudia, if anything he’s Zym. Because one, he can’t talk, and two he likes to cause trouble. I don’t think any of our friends are evil enough to be Claudia.” I said completely flabbergasted that he would insinuate that our best friend would be able to do such horrid things to people and animals.

He laughed and said “I wasn’t saying that because I think he’s evil or something, I was saying it because in the first few seasons Claudia is a complete dork, yeah she sucks for doing dark magic but she does dumb stuff as well. Anyway, now that we have Inumaki picked, who would Maki be? I personally think Rayla is an exact copy of her; they would both roll their eyes and slap someone for being an idiot.”

I chuckled at his defense, “I completely agree. Maki is also too stubborn to ask for help when she really needs it. Panda is Ezran, I will not accept any argument, he understands Toge and encourages his dumb behaviors.” I started with no room for argument.  “Also you are Soren, don't try to fight it, that's my final decision and I'm sticking to it.”

“W-what how am I Soren?” My boyfriend looked at me obviously confused by my statement. “I’m not disagreeing, I’m just curious why you think that.”

“Well for one you both use swords to fight. But most importantly, you are both extremely kind in spite of the fact you have both been through a lot. Soren spent years being gaslite by his father into doing horrible things, and when he tried to make his sister see it she also tried to gaslight him. Once he finally realized his family was doing horrible things he made the hard choice to leave them and change for the better. Now I’m not saying you have the same past but I know you struggled and suffered for a while. Having Rika lash out everytime something even came close to threatening you and not understanding it had to have been difficult, but instead of giving up, you decided to keep fighting and try and make it so no one else has to go through what you did.” I pointed out the major similarities between the two swordsmen. “Also I think you are both adorable.”

He just watched amazed by my reasoning, thinking I was just gonna say it was because they both use swords and are dorks, but no it was like I had thought about this alot. “I-i- Wow, you’ve thought about that a lot haven’t you?” he asked with a light blush.

I smiled up at him. “ Yeah I have, you have been through a lot and I'm proud of you for it. Now the most important question, what character am I?” I asked, trying to see his brain work.

“Oh definitely Bait.” He said confidently as I looked at him in shock.

“Excuse me, I just gave a college dissertation level speech on why I think you are a handsome swordsman, and all I get is a toad.” I said sitting up and turning to fully face him.

“Well yeah you are both adorable when you’re grumpy, both love shiny things, and you have a massive sweet tooth.” He said, defending his choice, reaching to try and pull back to lay with him. I begrudgingly layed back down resting my head on his chest, I felt his arm wrap around my shoulders as he placed a kiss to the top of my head. “Now shush, one of your favorite moments is coming up.”

I just nodded and snuggled closer to his side as I turned to watch as general Amya accidentally ruined her own engagement. I always find it funny, like yeah I get wanting to propose in a flashy way but seriously. Amya is a high ranked general who doesn't seem like someone who enjoys random surprises, what else would you expect to happen ambushing her with what look like flaming whips. I chuckled at the scene before closing my eyes, just enjoying the time I get to spend cuddling Yuta. I whispered a quiet “I Love you” as I drifted off to sleep.

Right as I let sleep take over, I heard Yuta respond with his “I love you too” before we both feel asleep to the sounds of dragons, elves, and magic.

#jjk x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #yuta okkotsu x reader #x reader #fluff #jujutsu yuta #yuta okkotsu

[mikelogan]

hello. i really enjoy your content, but i have to say i'm kinda disappointed on you still being a ts fan. this woman knows what disney does and yet she still gave them the rights, meaning she either doesn't care or actively supports the genocide. or maybe she decided to turn her morals off because money is more important. not to mention how she consistently associates herself with questionable people and how a person literally died in one of her shows on brazil and she gave zero fucks. this woman is not a good person and there are no excuses to being her fan anymore.

no, i fully understand what you're saying and where you're coming from. over the last like. idk year and a half? ive been pretty vocal about my disappointment, distaste, and disagreement with a multitude of the choices she's made lately. i 100% agree that her silence on the subject of palestinian genocide (as well as many other human rights/social causes) is at best a sign of apathy and at worst a sign of support. especially when miss americana was all about her wanting to be more outspoken and be an activist. that all feels so incredibly performative now -- and has for a while. a lot of things that she's said and done since midnights, which is when i became more active in the tumblr swiftie community, have left a bad taste in my mouth for her as a person.

like i said, i genuinely agree with what you're saying. the only thing i take issue with is that she didn't care that a fan died at her show. she donated money to the fan's family and took time to meet them. regardless of my many issues with her, i do think she can be an empathetic person and i don't think that she just straight up didn't care that someone died before her show. it's one of those things (of which there are many) where we'll never know her true thoughts bc she doesn't talk about things. which is frustrating in itself.

now that's not the point of your message, so feel free to write that off as a digression. i strongly disagree with her making yet another version of the eras tour movie and hosting it on disney+. I'm personally boycotting disney+ and have been for a while. I don't even intend on watching the new version and like the vast majority of everything I gif, that shit is pirated -- that's how I watched the original release of the movie. obviously my consumption/boycotting is just one person compared to blondie, who has influence over millions, who could make real change if she spoke out against genocide.

at this point, im not supporting her financially either apart from listening to her music. which i love. im sorry, but I do. if I didn't, we wouldn't be having this conversation. i think her constant churning out different exclusive versions of the same albums are a transparent money grab and maybe an effort to set more records as far as sales or streams or however that all works. and I'm not just saying that bc I literally couldn't even afford to buy a digital copy of an album right now.

so yeah. I appreciate that you enjoy my content and thank you for saying so, but if you need to unfollow or block, i understand. I've definitely toned down/completely stopped sharing posts about her as a person bc I'd much rather focus on just the music. and maybe that makes me a bad person for continuing to listen to and enjoy her music. im not saying i necessarily feel good about it, but i think the fact of the matter is that a lot of the celebrities, actors, musicians, etc. we like or whose content we enjoy hold views we disagree with and have different values or priorities. nuance exists. right now, im someone who is vocal about the palestinian genocide and I try to share resources/posts about it when they come across my dash and im also someone who is a fan of Taylor's music.

Idk, I hope what I'm saying makes sense at least on some level. I've done my best to word things coherently, but brain fog fucks w me a lot. and like. it's probably whatever, but I do plan on changing my url after ttpd releases. That probably upsets you more and I can see how people might think im a hypocrite or something and yeah, I get it. Idk, I just want to enjoy someone's music without endorsing them as a person, but that's extra difficult when the person in question is the biggest singer in the industry. but you'll never see me making excuses for her on things like this or the m*tty situation or numerous other things she's said and done that gross me out. im not so far up her ass that I think she's perfect or that I feel the need to defend her at every turn. like I said, nuance. anyway, if you feel the need to respond, i welcome you to do so as long as we both remain respectful, which I think we've done. this is a difficult topic, but that doesn't mean we can't discuss it. I appreciate your point of view and I'm sorry that I've disappointed you!

#answered #anonymous #sorry for the novel 😬 #i put a lot of thought into this and wanted to be thorough!

[mlobsters]

supernatural s8e6 southern comfort (w. adam glass)

the orange of it all 😩

oh boy. goofy music and garth. and dean in trouble with sam. well, dean is entirely unbothered that sam's mad at him. but sam seems to be just mad about the vampire part, not the lying part. all right.

SAM But you're out now, and Benny's still breathing. Why? DEAN He's my friend, Sam. SAM And what about my friend, Amy? She was what? 'Cause you sure as hell didn't have a problem ganking her.

okay but didn't sam come around to agreeing with dean on that? or at least agreeing to disagree LOL fucking jewel staite plotline that would never die. agh.

SAM So, how does that make this our kind of thing? DEAN Because, Sam, Kevin's in the wind, okay, you're sulking around like a eunuch in a whorehouse, and I can't help but ask myself, when is decapitation not my thing?

think i went through the same face journey as sam to the eunuch in a whorehouse line but the end bit made me laugh

jump scares from the confederate flag plastered everywhere, jesus

GARTH So how'd you get out?

the way sam whipped his head around to make a spectacular array of faces at dean 😂

GARTH Yeah. Man, I felt terrible when I ganked that SOB. SAM Uh, you killed the Tooth Fairy? GARTH Yeah, man. I mean, not my proudest moment, but it happened.

....okay.

mmmk.

dunno what to say about that amelia flashback. it was done well, she did a really good job! i felt some things. but the whole plotline itself is... just feels like manufactured conflict.

oh but i just had a brilliant brainwave

maybe we have amelia to thank for getting the sideburns wrangled (somewhat)!!! 🫡🫡🫡

speaking of manufactured conflict, this thing with garth and dean over bobby. dean snapping at him, garth getting upset. mushy music that reminds me of the princess bride

amused that bobby apparently wrote in very neat cursive in his journal

confederate unknown soldier. okay.

glad to see amelia has her hair back and not the wonky wig in the previous episode. so this flashback was prompted by garth saying he and dean aren't listening to each other. and what, amelia wasn't listening to him when she pushed him away the morning after?

she could be straight out of a vidal sassoon commercial with that hair, gorgeous

jesus fucking christ i know my startle reflex has been like. extra sensitive recently but good fucking lord next scene actual jump scare when the dude shoots the glass. i hate that shit

i would snark about him hamming it up but the man just full on sniffed him and said the spectre likes him, so i mean, do what you must

DEAN You should have looked for me when I was in Purgatory.

in sam's defense, i will say again, if dean was actually in heaven which he assumed he was since he thought he was dead, would he still expect sam to get him? can argue that yes too, of course. or some handwavy he coulda checked somehow with a spell or whatever. anyway, with how they are, and have been historically, it does lend a little credence to dean's side of things

nice usage of fell on black days by soundgarden. they've been hittin it with the montages set to music (like this one of cas smiting to the yardbirds [scroll down in the post])

so i guess this whole monster of the week situation was to get this airing of grievances moment for dean

DEAN You never even wanted this life. Always blamed me for pulling you back into it. SAM That's not true. DEAN Really? 'Cause everything you've ever done since you climbed into my ride has been to deceive me. SAM What do you want me to say? That I've made mistakes? I've made mistakes, Dean. GARTH That's not Dean, Sam. DEAN Shut up! Mistakes? Well, let's go through some of Sammy's greatest hits. Drinking demon blood, check. Being in cahoots with Ruby. Not telling me that you lost your soul. Or how about running around with Samuel for a whole year, letting me think that you were dead while you're doing all kinds of crazy. Those aren't mistakes, Sam. Those are choices!

so it's not even things that dean necessarily might feel, it's things sam would feel guilty about whether or not it was within his control

SAM All right. You said it. We've both played a little fast and loose. DEAN Yeah, I might have lied, but I never once betrayed you. I never once left you to die. And for what, a girl? You left me to die for a girl?

again see why a lot of fic really belabor this point!

GARTH Come on, Dean. You do not want to kill your brother. You – you've been protecting him your whole life. Don't stop now. DEAN He left me to rot in Purgatory!

GARTH All right. All right. Maybe he did. I don't know. I wasn't there. But I'm sure he had his reasons. SAM Just like you had your reasons for Benny. GARTH Who? DEAN Benny has been more of a brother to me this past year than you've ever been! That's right. Cas let me down. You let me down. The only person that hasn't let me down is Benny.

that's a bold statement, ghost-possessed-dean.

SAM But what? But you didn't mean it? Oh, please. You and I both know you didn't need that penny to say those things. DEAN Come on, Sam. SAM Own up to your crap, Dean. I told you from the jump where I was coming from, why I didn't look for you. But you? You had secrets. You had Benny. And you got on your high and mighty, and you've been kicking me ever since you got back. But that's over. So move on, or I will. DEAN Okay. I hear you.

good job sticking up for yourself, sam! stop being an asshole, dean!

SAM Good. You know what? Hear this, too. I just might be that hunter that runs into Benny one day and ices him.

okay well, moment of reconciliation over

DEAN I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, won't we? SAM Yeah. Yeah. You keep saying that.

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 8x06 #garth fitzgerald iv #amelia richardson #benny lafitte #sideburns #chopsurveillance #CHOPS HAVE BEEN CONTAINED #spn tpb music

[skulduggery-pleasant-bp9]

Part 5 – A bit of Background to Erskin

WARNING!: Mention of suicide, Mentally unhealthy and emotionally unstable Reader, Cursing, mention of murder/killing, AND MORE ! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !!!

Read THIS to understand why the reader has a name !

Our faforite subject...DRAMA.

After they finished eating, Valkyrie and Vile finished their round of eyes of Kali, then got Melancholia clothes for later to put on and played with Erskin drinking Ludo, without shot glasses of course. They didn’t plan to get drunk after all.

After two more hours, Melancholia suddenly started to wake up. Lord Vile grumbled and hissed in pain as he made the flesh melt away and became a skeleton in the armor again. He stood up and towered over Melancholia. Soon enough she opened her eyes and when she saw Vile tower over her, her eyes grew wide, freezing in fear.

She spotted Valkyrie and Erskin too and she tried to throw shadows at them, but nothing happened.

“W-what ? No ! Where…?!”, she yelled in fear and confusion.

Vile lifted the blanket and took a look at Melancholia’s body again, to make sure no more carvings were left behind or returning.

“Fight me and I might get forceful, Miss Clair. You haven’t seen me be forceful yet.”, Lord Vile threatened darkly.

She froze up and looked at the three of them.

“What the hell did you do to me ?!”, she yelled in horror.

“We removed your carvings from your body. It would have killed you at some point. You were too unstable to be a Death Bringer and the sigils made it just worse. Now let me make sure nothing stayed behind. Otherwise I will get forceful.”, Vile explained.

“WHAT ?! I was PERFECT !”, she yelled.

“You were a lost cause.”, Lord Vile replied and checked her arms.

“I wasn’t !”, she protested.

“You were working like a broken battery. When you used too much of your abilities you discharged and were in immense, unnecessary pain and when you recharged you felt a wave hit you, but it would discharge very quickly as soon as you used it. It is like a battery that is broken and can’t be fixed. It discharges randomly and when it is used too often. You would have exploded and never been able to open the Passage.”, Lord Vile disagreed.

“I was WORKING on it !”

“You CAN’T work on it. A real Death Bringer doesn’t have such issues in the first place. I would know. I AM the Death Bringer after all. I just refuse to do what these idiots of Necromancers want from me. The Passage isn’t all that great. Nothing would change. No one would envelop to better or worse. We would be stuck forever on the same page. No one would be able to have a family of their own. Nothing new would happen. It would get boring really quickly. It. Is. Not. WORTH. It.”

Melancholia fell silent at that. She never thought about those things before.

“I suggest for you to go see Kenspeckle and a Sensitive for a while. You need emotional and mental recovery. You might have seen Craven only doing what was best for you, but he did sadistic, forbidden, criminal things to you and your mental and emotional state needs help to recover from all the trauma. You hear me, child ?”, Lord Vile asked.

Melancholia looked at him and nodded.

“Not a word about Skulduggery and me to anyone. We plan to tell everyone when the time comes. You understand ?”

She nodded again.

“Good. Then I will leave you now and Skulduggery can take back over. Until we meet again, Valkyrie, Erskin.”

“Bye Vile.”, Valkyrie said.

“Goodbye you old sock.”, Erskin joked.

Lord Vile snorted and let the armor melt away. The skull fell forward and after the armor was gone, it rose again. Skulduggery came back and looked at the three of them.

“I am pretty surprised that he kept his word…”, he then said.

Erskin scoffed.

“I am pretty surprised as well, that he let you go again. He is way more decent than you.”, he said and then left the room.

“That was a poor choice of words Skul. You know how protective Erskin is over Lord Vile. And I can see why. He was very nice actually. Just like you were when we met the first time.”, Valkyrie informed.

“It could all be show.”, he denied.

“Like you pretend all the time that you are fine, since the Faceless Ones ?”

Skulduggery stayed silent at that. She gave him a glare. He sighed and looked away.

“Fine I will shut up about it. Now what of our guest ?”

“As Vile said, to Kenspeckle’s. He might be able to help her a bit to recover.”

“What about Erskin ? Will he come as well ?”

“I will ask him.”

With that she left the room, going to Erskin’s. She knocked and then entered his room. He looked at an old picture with a grim face.

“Hey…”, she said softly.

“What do you need ?”, he grunted.

“Do you want to come with us ? We are bringing Mel to Kenspeckle.”

“No thank you. I don’t want to listen to Mr. Perfect and his complains about his counterpart any more than I already have to. I think I rather kill myself.”

She frowned and was silent for a bit.

“Are you that mad at him ?”, she asked.

“Sometimes, I wish I never missed him when he died. He was always so collected and ready to rescue others. But since that day…the day his Family died, he died and came back…he is different. He became irresponsible and uncaring. He just lets everything go with a shrug of his shoulders. When he was alive, he would have scolded you and me on a daily basis. Like, we can’t just kill someone, never judge a book by its cover, everyone deserves a second chance, just because they were bad at the beginning doesn’t that mean that they can’t change, don’t attack people as long as they don’t start a fight with you, don’t run head first into danger and all that shit. He would have scolded us like a Dad. It all went missing when he came back.”

She stared at him with wide eyes. Erskin let tears slip when he said all of that.

“It was one of the many reasons I looked up to him and saw him close to a Father figure. He taught me cause and consequence, strategy, when to act and when to let it go, what was right and what was wrong. He tried to keep all of us safe. Where did HE go ?”

“So he…didn’t go back to at least a bit of normal ?”, she asked.

“No. He didn’t. When he came back, I hoped that he would…you know…be at least still 50% of the man I used to know and partly grow up with…But there wasn’t even 20% of him left. I don’t know how the others see it, but I see it as clear as crystal. It is night and day to me. He tried to keep me away from the war, you know ? He didn’t want me to join. I did anyways and he was very unhappy with me, told me I had no idea what I will have to see…naïve as I was, I told him that I knew. I thought I could deal with it all. He was right…I had no clue and I was left traumatized.”

They didn’t know, but Skulduggery listened in on them. He just stood near the slightly ajar door, listening, not moving.

“Were you hoping he would replace his kid with you ?”, she asked Erskin.

“God no ! I wasn’t even hoping to be adopted. But…I guess he partly did ? He was the one who took me everywhere with the others and himself alone, he taught me a lot on his own…I did feel like he adopted me at some point. I don’t think he noticed that though. It was war and he always stuck together with the people that were on the same side as him. I think it was normal for him. But as a 16 year old that never had loving nor caring parents, it was a big thing to have someone suddenly care.”, Erskin chuckled saddened.

“Your parents never loved you ?”, she asked.

“No. My Mother was an abusive, manipulative whore and I never met my Father. I have no idea who he was, nor do I have a name. My Stepfather was very abusive too. One of the many things that made me run away with ten years of age.”

There was a silence and Erskin sighed shakily.

“I was practically in the world of Mages in infant age. I was still considered a ‘Baby’ as I joined. I thought I couldn’t see more horror than the shit I was already forced to face, since I was three years old, from my own Mother. Skulduggery warned me. Told me I was practically still a Baby and that I shouldn’t be joining a war with that age. But I really wanted to help and I saw no value in just sitting around and doing nothing. He helped me with my abilities a lot, so I can control them very quickly and got way more powerful than a 16 year old was supposed to get. But I really needed it in the end.”

“Was he against a lot when he taught and trained you ?”

“Yep, he was. I was not allowed to drink, not allowed to stay awake as long as the rest of them, was not allowed to keep watch at night, was not allowed to be alone on the field, nor was I allowed to leave the camp without anyone with me. He was also against me knowing how to handle a gun, but Vex and Hopeless talked him into it, for my own safety.”

“Wow…very responsible of him.”

“Yeah. It was annoying back then to me, but…it felt nice to finally have someone that looked after you… My Mother didn’t give a shit, she never checked on me and my Stepfather kept me awake all night or tore me out of bed in the middle of the night. It was…the first time someone cared a bit about my health.”, Erskin said softly.

“Let me guess, when they got angry you called them by their last name, in fear they would hurt you.”

Erskin shook his head.

“Not quite. When they were angry, I wasn’t allowed to call them Mother, Father or by their first names. It was always Mister and Misses. I was to only address them by their last name when there was more than one person in the room, or strangers. I was not allowed to utter a word of their abuse or I would get it tenfold worse. I was not allowed to ask for help to get me out. I was not permitted to let anyone know that they were my parents. I was nothing more but a butler. Not even that was right, but they couldn’t say that I was a slave.”

Valkyrie covered her mouth in horror.

“Your own Mother treated you like that ?”, she asked in horror.

“I was never wanted by her. Because I was unwanted, but still born, she wanted me to make it up to her. To show her I was worth her time. I never reached it, though. Even if I did everything right, she was never proud. If you thought I got once in my life a hug or a small praise from her, you are deadly wrong. I was always the useless, waste of space and time child.”

“Did really no one ever love you ?”, she asked.

Silence.

“I…I had an Uncle. He barely came to visit, but he did care, I guess… He never really showed it, but he knew about the abuse and when he was around, he made sure nothing happened to me the whole day. He helped me around too. But…I had no idea where he lived, so I stayed a stray kid.”

“Did you ever have a birthday with him ?”

“No…When my Birthdays came around in that house, I got more abused than usual as a present…A constant reminder that I am nothing but unwanted. Well…besides that ONE last birthday in that house…I had a gift on my bed… It had no name on it, so I don’t know if it was from my Uncle.”

“What was in it ?”, she asked.

He gave a sad smile.

“An animal plushie. It was handmade too. I hid it away from them, never had time to play with it, but I loved it all the same. When I ran away, I took it with myself and used it as a small comfort. I lost it one day and never found it again, sadly.”

“Did the Dead Men ever celebrate your Birthday ?”, she asked him.

“Well…yes and no. I never told them my Birthday. I hated my Birthday. They celebrated it though, just on a different date. The day I joined the Dead Men unofficially, was the day they decided would my Birthday be. We barely had time in the war to do much for one another’s big day, but we tried.”

“Who wanted to give you a Birthday party ?”

Erskin laughed softly and wiped his tears away.

“Saracen, Vex and Ghastly to be honest. They annoyed Skulduggery until he agreed. They only insisted on it, because I was still so young. It was war and there was a high possibility that every day and Birthday could be my last, so they wanted to make every day and Birthday as great as possible.”

“What did you get ?”

“Mostly clothes from Ghastly, weird stuff from Vex, Saracen always tried to get me stuff that could help me in the future, Anton gave me a hug and a card most of the times which is a lot from him he doesn’t like hugs, Hopeless got me new ammo and once or twice also knives and daggers, Erskine got fancy looking stuff for me and Skulduggery, when he was alive, always tried to bake a cake for me. When he died and Larrikin was with us in the mud, he always tried to get a pastry and give it as a cake. He was very sweet and nice. Such a goofball.”, he chuckled.

“Mud ?”

“I call the difficult war times, mud. We had to mostly hide in mud and stuff, so yeah.”

“Oh…”

She then looked at Erskin again.

“Then when did you join the Temple of Necromancers ?”

“Well…I stayed a few more days maybe two months longer with them after Skulduggery’s return, and then I went to Ghastly’s Mother. I needed advice of what to do and that I thought I was going crazy. I saw spirits…Even Skul’s, when he wasn’t back.”

“Really ?”

“Yeah. She said it is a Necromancy trait and I should learn some of it. It might help me in the future and so I did. I went to the Temple and they took me in and educated me. Vile came two months later. I was just like him, a fast learner and we quickly were equally powerful, but he easily overpowered me at some point. I tried really hard to make friends with that idiot and nothing was for naught.”

“But one day they kicked you out.”

“Yes… Lord Vile told me what he was planning to do and I wanted to be a part of it, to get revenge on Serpine. But they figured it out and threw me out two months too early. Vile taught me everything he still learned before he, himself, dropped out and went onto the battlefield. I returned to my siblings and the Dead Men then.”

“You had siblings ?”

“Yes. Two males and one female. They are not worth mentioning though.”

“When did they join ?”

“Fifty years after I joined the war. I wish they never did.”

“Because they died and you were sad ?”

“No. Why would I be sad with traitors that Vile warned me about ?”, Erskin scoffed.

She stared at him in shock as he said that they were traitors. Skulduggery was in disbelief.

“What…?”

“I told you, rats were hard to detect. All three of them were rats.”

“So they worked for Mevolent ?”

“Oh you wish they did. They worked for our dear, beloved, abusive, good for nothing Mother.”, he spat out.

Her eyes went even wider at that.

“She knew you were still alive ?!”

“Of course she did. There was never a body. To be honest, I didn’t think she would care to look for me. But she only did to kill me anyways and she failed very much in that.”, he chuckled darkly.

“Tenebrae did mention that you are hard to kill.”

“Ah, yes. He did that slimy Bitch. He can curl up and die in a corner of his fucking Temple for all I care. He could choke on a stick right in front of me and I would laugh.”

“How did Vile find out about your Mother and your siblings trying to kill you ?”

“She wanted to use him as a tool for her own shit and told him everything, because she thought she had him under her spell. Sucks to suck for her.”, he said laughing.

It only gave Valkyrie more questions, but she didn’t dare to ask them. She could push him into silence again. Erskin looked back at the picture in his hands.

“I am thinking about burning it.”, he informed her.

“May I see it ?”, she asked.

He gave it to her. When she looked at it she saw Ghastly instantly, Anton too, his face was obvious, Vex’s smile was easy to recognize, Erskine had almost the same hairstyle too, Saracen was in between a man Valkyrie never saw before and Dexter Vex. The man didn’t really smile but also didn’t frown. Erskin almost seemed to look the same in that picture. Only the clothes were different.  And then there was another man she never saw before, he had a warm smile while he looked at Ghastly and Erskin. Ghastly had put his arm around Erskin and pulled him close, which made the boy smile brightly.

“Who are these two people ?”, she asked and pointed at the two men she never saw before.

“The one that tried very hard to smile is Hopeless. He never could smile on command, just as Anton. The other one was Skulduggery when he was alive.”, Erskin told her.

Her mouth fell open and if she would have been a cartoon character, her jaw would have been on the floor. Then she snapped her eyes back at Erskin.

“Why would you burn that ? You all are so happy and it is the last memory where Skul was alive and well !”

“Exactly. A constant reminder, that he once WAS that man and that he NEVER will be that man AGAIN. Why cling onto such a silly memory ?”, Erskin asked her.

“Erskin, you aren’t thinking straight. You are mad at Skulduggery and I understand why, but you don’t have to destroy memories that you valued so much, only to later most possibly regret it.”

“I am not MAD at him ! I am still GRIEVING over someone WHO DIED A LONG TIME AGO ! Sure I am mad for a second when he talks bad about Vile, but he doesn’t KNOW the truth YET, so I understand why he acts like this ! I am grieving EVERY FUCKING DAY, since he DIED, the person that I looked UP TO ! This fucking photo is a constant reminder of WHO THE HELL I LOST THAT DAY ! HOW MUCH I LOST THIS PERSON ! It is a constant scar that gets ripped open again and again ! A constant reminder that I FAILED TO SAVE HIM ! I WAS TOO LATE ! I FUCKED UP !”, he yelled at Valkyrie with new tears in his eyes.

“That you were…too late ?”

“I had the antidote ! I made Anton, Dexter and Ghastly help me as fast as possible and I went on a hunt to find him ! I didn’t tell them why I hurried so much, nor what the potion was for ! When I had his location and the antidote, I hurried as fast as I could, but I came 20 fucking seconds too late !”

Silence.

“You knew about the trap ?”, she asked him.

“No. But I was there as well. I saw him running off and leaving us behind. It seemed like he was chasing someone and I followed. I…I never saw him so rageful before…It scared the shit out of me, Valkyrie. You never saw him THAT pissed off.”

“You saw Serpine kill his family and you didn’t do anything ?”

“Val, I was a Teenager ! Not even, I was a kid ! It was the first time I saw Serpine do that, I was frozen in utter horror ! I wanted to move, I wanted to shoot him ! But my body wouldn’t move ! I had no idea how to get out of that situation ! I could just stand there and watch !”

“You saw it all…”

Erskin looked away from her.

“It was all my fault. I will NOT deny that. I know for a fact when Skulduggery finds this out, he will never want to see me again, if he doesn’t consider killing me already. I was there, I could have done something, and I couldn’t fucking move to do anything. And I messed up my last chance by 20 seconds. All of the Dead Men knew, on the day Skul was burned, what I was trying to do. They all did. God…I couldn’t look them in the eyes for years, after my failure. All I wanted was to stop existing.”

She didn’t say anything. Skulduggery was in utter shock and Erskin was hugging himself tightly.

“I really tried to make up for it… I just…how do you fix something like this ? I practically HELPED to kill his Family, without meaning to ! Ghastly found out about all of that with Anton. They told me for years that it wasn’t my fault that I froze up, that they would have too, but-but what if they were lying to me all along ?! God they must have been disappointed with me ! Do you have any idea how many times Ghastly and Anton told me to just tell Skulduggery already ?! That he would understand ?! At first I believed them, I really did, but when he came back and was so hell bent to kill Serpine for revenge, I backed out ! I couldn’t tell him ! How would I have explained that ?! As soon as you mentioned his family, he would have pulled the trigger on you ! How was I supposed to explain ?! He would NEVER forgive me, nor would he want to make the effort to understand ! This was his FAMILY ! Not just some random people ! He…he would never want to see me again.”

“Hey, hey…calm down. I think the same as Ghastly and Anton. He would understand. He would need time to get around it and to process that information, but he would understand.”, she tried to soothe Erskin.

He shook his head wildly.

“He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t ! All his rage would return and I would be so fucking destroyed to have all his anger thrown at me ! I can’t see that rage again, Valkyrie ! It scarred me the first time and it scares me since ! Ghastly and Vex know how emotionally sensitive and unstable I am ! Skulduggery doesn’t know that. If he would shout at me again, like he did three weeks ago, I might have a breakdown and NEVER recover from it !”

“Did you…have a breakdown once before ?”, she asked.

He looked away.

“Ask Anton, Ghastly, Dexter and Erskine. I…I need to sleep right now…I’m over thinking again and it will cause me a panic attack. Have fun with Kenspeckle and Melancholia and get home safely….Maybe I will see you tomorrow… Or next time something serious is going on. I-I need a break.”

“What about the picture ?”, she asked.

“If you don’t want me to destroy it, then keep it. I…I will ask for it when I want it back…”

‘Spying is rude, Skulduggery.’, Vile tutted in his head.

‘Shut it. You knew this, didn’t you ?’

While he talked with Vile in his mind he silently left the hallway and went back to the living room, watching Melancholia sit on the couch, dressed in the clothes Vile and Valkyrie picked for her to wear. They fit her perfectly.

‘Of course I did. He told me everything after he knew that I was NOTHING like you.’

‘He is scared of me.’

‘No. He is not scared of YOU. He is scared of YOUR RAGE. He just doesn’t show it. That’s why he is always so blunt with everything and is quickly angry. You are not the man he used to know. Who he needed in the war. That man died, didn’t he, Skulduggery Pleasant ? That man died when his Son died. Am I right ?’

‘I don’t think I changed that much after death.’

‘You acted way more like a Father when you were alive. You scolded Erskin, like he was a kid. You fed him, protected him, cared for his wounds, cared for him in general…you treated him like your own kid. He grew to like you as a father figure, something he never had before. You even bothered to celebrate a birthday just for him. No one else ever did that for him before. I would almost bet that he didn’t just see you as a father FIGURE, but as a real Dad. And then you were snatched away from him. He wanted to help you, pay your kindness back in saving you, but he was too late. When you came back, you were cold, distant, ignorant and just not who you used to be anymore. You didn’t CARE anymore. Since that day…Erskin blamed himself for everything that went wrong.’

‘I wasn’t cold at all. I needed time to process-‘

‘Stop lying to yourself. You didn’t process ANYTHING. As soon as you came back, all you cared about was killing. You forgot about Erskin. You forgot that he was only a child. You forgot that you were the ONLY one that had a very strong bond with him. You forgot EVERYTHING about yourself and Erskin’s relationship. It led him to a downfall, something you swore silently to yourself, you will never let happen. You didn’t see all the red flags, didn’t hear his cries of help and closure for you. You. Let. Him. DOWN.’

‘I didn’t let him down ! I-‘

‘He is scared of YOUR rage. He is scared to tell you something that was out of his control. He was scared to tell you about me and him knowing each other. He was scared to mention your family. He is scared to let you know anything, that could trigger your anger. He wasn’t scared in the past. He told you everything that was on his mind and was necessary, when you were still alive. He would have told you about me, if you would have been the same after death, but you came back totally changed. He would only tell you any secrets he has now when you were really six feet under. But not while you are still roaming around here. Your Rage was scarring to witness and he saw it. It destroyed him mentally and emotionally. And after you came back, you didn’t bother to talk to him much. Everyone saw him suffering, but you didn’t care.’

Skulduggery was silent and looked back into the hallway where Erskin’s room was.

‘The special bond you two had is damaged and it gets worse each day. You were the one he looked up to and trusted you the most. You rarely got angry and that was one of the many reasons he talked to you so much. Now you are in constant rage. Don’t you remember how hard it was to get him to trust you in the first place ? I remember it clear as day.’

‘He barely talked, then he would never answer our questions about his past. He was a troubled kid and it took so long to get him to talk and to not pretend anymore. He was good in it. A real faker.’

‘Well, now he is even more skilled in it. He trusted me with a few things. I was less anger driven than you, but it wasn’t the same for him. He wanted to talk with YOU. He needed closure from YOU. Not from me. But you never saw how damaged he was and how he continued to crumble. And now…he hid away entirely from everyone. It is rare that he falls apart like that and reveals what he really feels at the moment. He thinks that you gave up on him, that he was a lost cause after all and you never tried assuring him that everything was okay. He feels used, betrayed and stupid for trusting someone…for hoping that after death when you returned you would still be there. He decided to take steps in directions he shouldn’t have and he had no one to guide him anymore.’

‘What did he do…?’

‘…How many times do you think he tried to commit suicide, Skulduggery ?’

At that Skulduggery froze in utter shock and horror. Erskin tried WHAT ?

Masterlist HERE !

#valkyrie cain #erskin is male!reader #male!reader #skulduggery pleasant #derek landy #read warnings above #not the canon au #Skulduggery Pleasant x Reader Universe

[taegularities]

Rid, this maybe a small rant so bear w me pls >:(

I was having a conversation with my roommate in college yesterday about books and reading in general. She is picky when it comes to reading, mostly inclining towards romance and sub genres within the umbrella. While I believe that reading anything is a good practice, she is radical in her opinion. In the sense that she believes books which are officially published in a hardcover are credible enough to be called books or novels for the matter. Recently i revealed to her that I’ve been reading fan fiction for 3 years now and her reaction was… quirky? She thinks that fanfiction writers are still amateurs in writing, have no experience with editors and they only write as a hobby so they don’t put in as much effort as a novel writer would, so their stories are dumb when compared to novelists and best selling authors. I argued that fan fiction is not something to be looked down upon cause some people have put out excellent things to read and they do work hard on their plots and characters. Even if they are not accustomed to working with publishers and all but that doesn’t work as an authentic judgement that fanfic writers can’t be placed as the same level of some authors. Just putting out a book in hardcover doesn’t equate quality of a story, it only means you had access with some publishing house. The argument kinda took a sour turn cause she was unwilling to take in my pov so I asked her if you think fanfic writers suck then tell me which stories you have read in your entire lifetime which you consider masterpieces then i might recommend you some stories from my end to change your perspective. She texted me sometime ago and most of her list includes Colleen Hoover 😐 it kinda made me realize that in fact we as readers must have a fanfic phase in life otherwise we would place authors like CoHo with incredibly poor taste in writing on the pedestal and look down on underrated talents in the field of literature. I still can’t comprehend what does CoHo write in her books that attracts mass attention from people cause all she does is glorify toxic relationships and normalize it with her weak happy endings. I’ve read around 3 books from her and lemme tell you some of the bts fics on ao3 & tumblr deserved way better audience than she does. In my opinion, the only reasons books like these blow up is due to people who have a first time experience in reading and don’t really take much interest in reading, it’s disgraceful to way better writers who are overlooked cause they don’t suit the usual trend due to certain criteria they don’t fit in, the criteria being easy choice of vocabulary, some aesthetic corny words, incredible smut and bland character development. Maybe the lack of quality romance novels in bookstores has me caving into fanfics because I feel in some measures I’d rather spend a week completing works of a fanfic writer with amazing plots for free over spending dollars and wasting time on books I end up disliking because of their stuff characters having absolutely no growth or a potential plot going to waste.

rant anytime, love <3

oof, i don't know much about colleen hoover, so i can't judge.. but honestly, any kind of creative work should be appreciated. like, i used to be young adult girly myself, and got into writing like that, so i feel like none of us should drag down someone's effort (not talking about you, just in general!!). and like, as a fanfic author myself i do feel a bit bleh about your friend saying we are amateurs bc we don't work with publishers lol :') i've actually thought about this before. editors have so much work to do, like they need to perfect a story, right? i know it's different for us, but most beta readers i know do the same.. literally sit down and spend hours reading a fic to help a writer improve it (shoutout to you ily @missgeniality). tbh, i'd say agree to disagree with your friend and enjoy whatever you enjoy!! sometimes it's hard to explain a pov to someone. but tysm for standing up for fanfic authors, like i'm so happy you cherish them the way you do <3

#but yeah i've definitely read fics too that were better than some books i started #lately i haven't been able to read a lot books bc i realised i've gotten picky #but yk side note.. jojo moyes is a really good writer!! #notes for rid 🌹 #anon

[rennyji]

remote viewing thru eyes/face of pics/tv shows, is point, more than pleasure

4 my needs (DR visits, prescription drug copayments, supplements, gym memberships, paying2have oldCollege transcripts sent2 new employers, food, living) I need money. I’m in restrictive situation leading 2 limitations. Unemployment might give $500 weekly, & I don’t even get that.

Desensitized guy looking for sources and avenues of horny-ness; hit me up…

Need reliable way 2indicateProblems amidstHackers, as they couldB remote viewing thru certainAvenues/channels-project stargate-1960s-USA military trying 2B everywhere, testing militarizing/sending instructions around 1 individual-using conscious streams 2 spy. Direct/indirect spy

N’Ala (Hindi&Arabic says 1 thing, backwards spells out something) Is causing problems mentally/physically/environmentally.TheTeamOfThem, under 1mapping isMaking every1 think it’s camera behind tv whenManipulating stream others R knowingly/unknowingly experiencing.-the fine print,

Y would there be cameras or y would I be painted as a prude or sedated? Let’s assume something w/brainwaves is occurring. Something will amplify a persons waves 2 get a handle of that person. Do u no wats most basic way 2 decrease waves? Here’s a hint. Y r priests celibate?

These people doing this 2 me have obsession in promoting sexuality under guise of making me sexually unconfident, 2 I guess cripple me out of hate, or to 2 mind read thru brain waves. Whether my genital is big/small, my business, whether I last 5 min/5 hrs, my business.-

-thesePeople?unbelievablyClever, underNiceFaces/sympathetic tones, seem like doing humanity, good, when just creative w/ruining me. I don’t understand reason4hateWhenIve neverSpoken2them. Just absolute hate. You should know: they sing "you're going to die with rhymes and corresponding tunes to me periodically throughout day while telling me my last love interest is f*king & s*king and apparently killed herself by having my allegedly powerful emotions transferred into her. The hate and its source is beyond me. The endless attempts at humiliation. They drug me like a guy drooling over cocaine, talk to me about s*x and insert penis notions to the point where I'm on verge of asking a priest for a giant penis. I limit self2B model ofDiscipline, noing ImOnSpot, inChaotic time-IveNoIntentionOnDying4that

- next thing N’Ala over here, behind my face, in my head, while youth voices talk in background, restrict me from saying: 4 years I’m practically a lobotomized vegetable. I know I’m writing/eating, but my functionality is limited.-

- While in daze, I’m told a girl or now 2 girls, R waiting 4 me, 4 18 years. Now I have moment of lucidity, it seems astounding. Im not sure if it’s part of psychological manipulation2manipulate me. What a deustche I’d be, 4 screwing around amidst notion of some1 that incredible? Neither of these individuals I know or remember how they look like, whether they actually exist, but the idea is told to me repeatedly.-

- then I’m told I’m going to get married…remember …half the time I’m a vegetable. They insert thoughts, remove my convictions, my foundations, my values, my memories, my wisdom. The world's best minds interpret "seeing it my way" literally by planting their already decided upon perception, in someone else's head. "Seeing it my way", when done with words, is by giving someone the choice to agree/disagree while matching an idea with someone else's brains' experience, knowledge, and wisdom. The worlds best minds need to be told this...wow...-

-I recall Cing AshtonKutcherMovie, where girlFriendQuestions whether2marry basedOn# OfWomen slept w/.MovieFrom90s/early 2000s. I? born in late80s&beenVictimized4 @ least 18 yrs. Im presented w/marriageIdea. Now Im told Im dying 4not ReducingMyBrainWaves thruSex?! Wtf. LikeIdCare. These are personal things that would or would not have happened anyway without it being made into some weird formality. Other people's personal aspects are theirs and not for public entertainment. This is what is wrong with American culture. Years ago, I said indicate I have character and the ways I have it. And now a group of retards make it into every detail of nonsense. Inside voice/outside voice. Personal topics/public topics. Family persona/public image. I have to tell the world's best minds these things?!

&nowTeamOf N’Ala s , actingLike God, in myHead, claimNeed2finish 1/2 a*s slop ofFixingUnbrokenBrain,while givingFeelingOfScrotumFondling, never volunteered-nonsenseProtocol. CommonSense/doNoHarm takeNoPrecedence. In Islam,noEyes/Faces inPaintings-b/cOf Americas remoteViewingTech.

Im feeling choppiness inConsciousness/perception/darkenedVision, &these people make me cough2makeCough causePhysicalPain2myBrain. I'm finding blood in my mucus when I blow my nose, and my nose is endlessly crusty with dried blood crust. So apparently something IS happening wirelessly, which is impacting my brain, tied in with the pain I'm feeling. That's not scary. Typical American nonsense. It's like the European perceptions. Always a stupid cowboy. "Lets do ummm...brain surgery...like a group of f*gs while "he's still "in" the phenomena" and scare him and not tell him and let him figure it out..."They then fondleMyBalls whileMaking p*nis focused. Americas FBI, CIA, military- justSitTightIn CRUSADE AGAINST A BROWN MAN. American f*ggots, assemble.

This has nothing to do with being p*ssed, although that's an inherent right after 18 years of this. This is definitely a waste of my time. This is a hate crime and a crime against humanity, while people are focusing on s*x and a guy interacting with a tv. Someone is making fun of you as a group of neanderthals and ur taking the mantle.

And then echoing things like what I do in my spare time...why is it even relevant. I am happy waking up in silence, simply showering/brushing my teeth, eating my favorite breakfast, riding my Peloton, hitting the gym and pushing myself, maybe working if I could get a job after two degrees, hitting a coffee shop, maybe dancing at a European style/Indian style club, doing martial arts, maybe returning to with my head on my potential wife's lap at the end of the day, like a pillow and watching a movie.

[bondsmagii]

also worth mentioning that yeah peter loves the lonely and feels it was made for him but in reality he was made for it. raised in an abusive/neglectful family and kept isolated throughout his childhood, seeing his siblings punished for, y’know, having friends and loved ones. so anon’s point stands wrt the avatars of the entities also being victims. i think the only exceptions to this are the beings who were never human to begin w like breekon and hope or the monster pig cause they’re more direct manifestations of the fears. even the eye avatars that seem to really enjoy it/thrive off the power… we saw what happened to john when he was cut off from the eye/tried not to take statements. nobody gets a sweet deal when the fears are involved. gertrude had the right idea.

hm. I gotta disagree on this one, to be honest? the Lukas family is fucked up, which is undeniable, but I think it's important to remember the very basic fact that Peter would not have been happy in any other environment. the Lukases are isolated, and Peter loved that. anything he learned about his family, he would have found out much later. he wouldn't have seen his siblings punished because he wouldn't have seen his siblings. he still knows barely anything about them, and he doesn't care to. what little he does know was likely something that he found out later, probably passively -- I can't ever see him caring enough to ask. Peter grew up on his own, and ever since he can remember, he coveted being alone and sought it out, striking out further and further even within his own family and their estate to make sure he was never disturbed. when he did go out into the real world, he did so as an outsider, content to watch from the outside looking in. from a very early age, his one wish from life was that he would die alone. he made his choice, bit by bit, decision by decision, until there came a point where somebody intruded on his solitude and he was so frustrated by it that he either vanished them, or accessed the Lonely. I believe he accessed the Lonely, because his family were aware of it immediately -- as soon as he returned, they told him the truth of his family, and Peter felt as though the final piece had slotted into place. again, he could not believe that there was a god out there so perfect for him. his nature came first, and the Lonely, by his own admission, was perfect for him. he chose it before he even knew what it was.

I think with something like this, it's very important to remember that just because something seems like hell to you, doesn't mean that it would be for another person. likewise, calling what Peter suffered "abuse" when Peter has never, ever seen it that way is also doing it a disservice. Peter has never lost a moment's sleep over this. he was happy. his life was perfect for him. he would not consider it abuse. he would not have been happy in any other situation. growing up with a typical, loving family would have been hell for him. he's just not cut out for that. he has different needs, and he's one of those people lucky enough to be born into a situation that supports them. life is full of situations like this: one person's ideal is another person's hell. it's important to trust that people know what they want out of life, and this is what Peter wanted and would have always craved.

to address your other point, Jon definitely suffered despite choosing, but I don't think he's the best example. choice or not, Jon was manipulated into making the decisions he did, and even though he ultimately committed, it was a choice between that and dying. a choice that has been forced is not a choice, and given the chance, Jon would not have embarked on this path if he had known it would end with him being a monster and ending the world. he suffered from not taking statements because he was denying his nature. making a deal with one of these entities isn't something you can do lightly -- you have to provide, because you won't get preferential treatment. Jon is too nice. he retains his humanity and tries to do what good he can. if he had been a worse person, he would not have suffered.

there are plenty of avatars out there who don't suffer. Simon is having a great time, Jude is having a great time, Mike is having a great time. all of them came to their entities via different routes, and fear would have been part of that route, but there were other, stronger elements: Simon had curiosity and awe and reverence, Jude was addicted to destruction and loved it more than anything else, Mike was escaping what he considered a worse fate and then grew into what he was. all of them would suffer if they refused to feed their entity, but they're all totally OK with being a bit evil and so they don't have that problem. other avatars, on the other hand, still suffer, because of who they are (or were) as a person: Jane Prentiss is clearly not having a good time, and Agnes Montague, despite being born an avatar, still clearly hates it and lived a miserable life. it all depends on the person -- to use a strong example, nobody can deny that Jonah Magnus is having the time of his fucking life.

if you can accept that some people would suffer horribly for losing their humanity, you have to accept the opposite: that some people rejoice in losing their humanity, and feel as though they've rid themselves of something that only restricted them.

#tma #anon #asks

[darling-i-read-it]

Jealousy

Will Graham x reader, slight Hannibal Lecter x reader

Word Count: 2.2k 

Warnings: talks of murder, corpses, crime scenes 

Author’s Note: besties you need to stop giving me freedom to chose the endings because i am SO biased. I hope you all enjoy regardless and didn’t mind that I bunched these two requests together because they’re so similar! 

Requested: by anon, Hey i don’t know if you’re still taking Hannibal requests but if you are can you do something where both Will and Hannibal have a crush on the reader? The reader would be the only one who doesn’t know about the two men having a crush on her and one day the reader hangs out alone with one of them (could be Will or Hannibal) and the other gets jealous? It could end in the reader choosing one of them. (your choice)

Requested: by anon, AHHH i’m so nervous to write a request even tho this a anon😅 I never done a request but if you could do something where both Hannibal and Will take an interest in the reader? It could just be a thing where both of them try to impress the reader who remains oblivious to their affections. And during the entire thing they get jealous of each other and try to one up each other in gifts. If you want you could end it with them being polyamorous or the reader choosing one of them, i don’t really care my main focus id just the jealousy lol😅

Summary: the requests! 

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

You nodded gently, putting your fingernail between your teeth. You circled the corpse, giving it a careful eye as Beverly spoke over your thoughts. 

“We believe it was murder, obviously,” she said. 

“It’s just been a bitch trying to figure out how she was murdered,” Zeller commented. He was sitting on one of the stools, his hands resting on his thighs. 

“Keep working on it,” Jack said, hand resting on the cold metal table. 

“I think we should try and talk to the mom again. I feel like she knows more than she’s letting on,” you muttered. Will and Hannibal watched you as you moved to the head of the body, looking directly down at it. 

“I want to go to the crime scene again,” Will said. You looked up and met his eyes, nodding a bit. You knew the toll that it took on him so you preferred him to offer up his abilities, rather than ask him. 

“Are you sure you’re up for that?” Hannibal asked. Yours and Will’s eyes floated to Hannibal who was standing at the corner of the room. This wasn’t his crime, he wasn’t sure what Will would find. 

“I’m sure,” Will said sturtly and then turned around, walking out of the room. Hannibal watched as your gaze followed Will until he was out of sight and then you turned back to the corpse. 

“I’ll drive you to the mothers house,” Hannibal suggested. You nodded and took your hands off the metal, walking over to him.

“Thank you.” 

The two of you left quickly after that, leaving Bev, Zeller, Price and Jack in the room alone. Beverly pretended to check something on her clipboard before looking up at everyone.

“You all felt that tension too, right?” Overlapped responses came.

“Yeah.”

“Yes.” 

“When did that happen?” 

Beverly shrugged and learned against the wall. She tried to follow you and Hannibal as you left the morgue but you were already long gone.

“Who do you think she’s gonna pick?” Bev asked. 

“I say let the best man win!” Price commented. 

“We have a case here lady and gentlemen,” Jack said, pretending he too wasn’t invested. Everyone else shared one more look and then turned around, getting back to their duties. 

=====

Hannibal sat promptly in his chair, legs crossed and looking at Will who sat across from him. Will had an open stance as he looked around the room he had been in a couple of times before. 

“How was your week? Let’s start there,” Hannibal said gently, prompting Will to start talking. Will was usually filled to the brim with sarcastic comments but he never wanted to delve any deeper than that. Unless he was talking about other people's murders. 

“Um, it was fine,” he said, trying to figure out what to say. “Y/N came over last night and made dinner. It was nice to have someone over.” Hannibal was able to mask his feelings very well but Will caught a little bit of disdain. 

“That’s nice. Do you see her often?” 

“Sometimes. She’s nice and likes to see the dogs.” Hannibal saw you yesterday as well, when the two of you went to interview the mother again. Hannibal offered a nice face to the woman and it ended up getting you somewhere with her. 

“She is very kind,” Hannibal commented. 

“Do you see her often Dr. Lecter?” Will asked. 

“On occasion. She comes over for dinner. She used to be a patient but she’s been doing well.”

“Glad to hear you have some success stories.” 

That was the day that Will and Hannibal realized they were competing and they hadn’t known it. They weren’t even sure that you knew it but they understood that the other had feelings for you. 

Sure, ultimately it was up to you in the end but it was then they decided they would have to get to you first. Will was a little unhinged and confused. Hannibal was a little insane and unsettling. 

Just depended on who was going to be able to play the right cards. 

=====

You sat beside Hanniabl at his dinner table. You had a few of the case papers out in front of you, next to your plate of food. Hannibal was flipping through them as well. He was trying to help you out while also getting you to enjoy a nice meal. 

You ate the last bite of the food and showed Hannibal one of the pictures. 

“Do you think this looks like she’s been dead for a couple of months? I know water can wash away evidence and stuff but it definitely doesn’t look like she’s been dead for months,” you said. Hannibal took the picture from you and looked it over. 

“I can’t say I disagree with you.” You took the picture back.

“This is really good by the way. Thank you for letting me intrude on your dinner,” you said laughing a bit. He shook his head. 

“Of course. I’m glad you enjoy it, I know it can be an acquired taste.” 

“I really enjoy everything you make. How do you say it? It’s growing my pallet,” you said smiling. He nodded pleasantly. It was always nice to make sure people were listening. You looked like you were about to say something else when your phone dinged. At first you ignored it but then it dinged again. “I’m sorry,” you muttered and then picked up the phone. You read a couple of messages and laughter bubbled from your mouth. Hannibal immediately felt a stab of jealousy but it didn’t show on his face. “Sorry, Will just sent me something about the case. I actually have to go see him later tonight, I should probably get out of your hair.” 

Hannibal shook his head. 

“You’re always welcome here, I hope you know that.” You smiled and nodded but still put the papers together in a neat stack.

“Don’t say that, I’ll abuse my privileges.” You stood up and put the stack of papers in your arms. “Thank you again Hannibal. I’ll call you?” He nodded, standing up as well and taking your plate. 

“Of course. Have a nice night and say hello to Will for me.” You nodded and waved as you turned to leave. 

Hannibal turned to the kitchen and put the dishes in the sink. He started to wash them and after a moment he found he had been washing his hands dry. 

====

“You really didn’t have to drive me. I can drive myself,” Will said from the passenger seat of your car. You waved him off, shaking your head. 

“Please Will, I can drive you around all I want. Plus, I wanted to see Hannibal anyway. Don’t worry I won’t intrude on your session. I brought a book.” You held your book up in front of him and he nodded slightly. 

Why did you wanna see Hannibal? He decided not to ask. 

You got out of the car and followed Will inside to Hannibal’s office. Hannibal opened the door, as though he had been listening and waiting for your arrival. His smile grew at the sight of you. 

“I was hoping to run into you. I boxed some leftovers from last night because you enjoyed them so much,” Hannibal explained. 

“You went over to Hannibals’ last night?” Will asked. He didn’t mean for his voice to sound so accusatory but it did. You shrugged.

“I went for dinner and he helped me with some case notes.” You remained completely oblivious to the tension in the room. He handed you a box that he grabbed from his desk and you nodded happily. “Thank you so much! I will cherish this,” you joked. You turned to Will. “Have a nice session boys, I’ll be in the car.” 

  They both nodded and waved goodbye to you as you left the room. The tension did not leave with you. 

====

The morgue did not smell any better the next time you were in it. You were alone with just Bev this time as you compared notes on the cause of death. She and the guys were still in the process of figuring it out but it had been a busy couple of days.

“Yeah that’s kind of what Price was saying. I don’t know, I’ll look into it more and get back to you,” she said as you showed her some notes. You nodded and put your notepad back in your bag. 

“Alright, keep me posted.” You stood up from your chair and stretched a bit. You and Beverly were pretty good friends outside of work as well so she had been dying to ask you about Hannibal and Will.

“So...how’s it going with Hannibal and Will?” she asked, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall. You gave her a confused look.

“Huh?” She scoffed.

“You’re kidding right?” You gave her a look and she laughed dryly. “You seriously don’t know? Those guys are head over heels for you. Come on, you had to have noticed how jealous they get when you talk to them. It literally fills the room with tension,” she explained. You shook your head slowly. It took you a moment but the realization hit you. You had to sit back down. 

“Oh my God, I’ve been so head first in this case I didn’t even notice,” you said, laughing a bit.

“Well! Who’s gonna take the cake? Come on, we’re running bets here in the morgue.” You raised an eyebrow.

“Who did you bet on?” She gave you a look. “Come on!” 

“Will,” she fessed up. You stood up. 

“Go get your money Katz.” A prideful look went over her face and she nodded. 

“Alright then. You better go get your man.” 

======

You knocked on Will’s door that night. You teetered back and forth on the porch, wondering if Beverly had been wrong. She could have read the signs wrong. Heck, you read the signs wrong at first. You were about to walk off the porch when Will opened the door, rubbing his eyes. 

“Hi,” he said, blinking quickly.

“Oh my gosh did I wake you? I’m sorry, I am running on case time,” you said, suddenly feeling very apologetic. He shook his head. 

“No, don’t worry about it. Do you need something?” You doubted yourself again but figured that if you were going to do it you had to do it now. 

“I just...Beverly said something and I...do you wanna go to dinner? Like together? Like as a couple?” You were trying to get the words out so they didn’t sound awkward. Will rubbed his eyes some more and then his hand dropped. He smirked a bit. 

“Yeah. I would really like that.” 

“Okay! Okay. Good, good. I’ll talk to you about it tomorrow once you get some rest,” you said. He nodded happily. 

“I look forward to it.” 

“Me too.” 

You turned around and he shut the door and a wall away from each other. You were both smiling wildly. Will almost called Hannibal and bragged but he went to sleep. He would find out eventually. 

#will graham x reader #will graham imagines #hannibal lecter imagines #hannibal imagines

[thesoundofanicefall]

So here also chapter 101.

And finally we saw which kind of guy Shikama doji and his allies are....

The case I want to talk about now I wanted to say like 1 year ago right the day like today when chapter 89 had been released but those days the fandom was like too crazy and wild so I was scare, yes scare!, that if I say anything they would truly murder me I am not even joking! People were too crazy those days...

So I decided to keep it to myself and didn't say anything and patiently waited for everything and everyone to chill down.

And so what I wanted to say?

Before starting please take a look to this part of chapter 101 which everyone are all mad over this and say no! He killed Mika! He doesn't care about Mika! Mika is not his family and etc.👇

So let's start like this now:

Right now the reason why mostly in this fandom are disagree and against with literary whatever, no I repeat it again WHATEVER, Guren says or plans and wants (or wanted! LMAO) Shikama doji to win is simply cause:

Guren killed our baby Mika! So we HATE him!! So we hope he won't win!

So yeah ALL their reason to be against Guren is as they HATE Guren and no more reason LMAO.

That sentence which some were saying: No Mika as a curse gear is tooooo bad poor Mika we don't want him as a curse gear uwhhhh, was all bullshit and we all do know this well don't argue thank you very much.

But now let me ask you:

Was Mika's death HONESTLY something BAD?!

Ok now come with me.

Please take a look to this panel of chapter 89👇

This is from the moments before Guren wanted to do his plan for Mika and look at his eyes please.

Why Yamato sensei should be THAT free to WASTE his time and give Guren's SAD EYES one SPECIAL panel?

This is completely OBVIOUS that Guren WAS NOT glad and happy with what he was going to do with Mika but he had NO OTHER CHOICE.

Why?!

Come with me now.

Did you ever think with yourself like a true adult that, if Mika was going to REMAIND as a VAMPIRE and then the world of humans were going to save what was going to happen for him?!

He was going to remain as a vampire and Yuu was a HUMAN who was going to die far more faster than Mika.

You say, ok they could also turn Yuu to a vampire too!!!

I ask you:

Did you ever read the story of Vampire Mikaela's novels CAREFULLY?

Because if yes then why would you even DARE to say this?!

In those novels that was basically said that turning to a vampire is nothing but a TORTURE.

When someone is going to turn to a vampire he/she is going to HATE the one who turned them to a vampire that's why Crowley hates FERID and not Saito (Riger Stafford) because yes that's true that Crowley turned to a vampire by Saito's blood but the one who MADE him and FORCED him to drink Saito's blood and TURNED him to a vampire was FERID.

So is it understandable for you now this was also the SAME for Yuu too?!

If Yuu was going to turn to a vampire by Mika's asking him to do or with his blood or anybody's else blood he was going to HATE Mika too as he was going to turn to one because MIKA was going to ask him to be.

This is in all vampires NATURE and was fully mentioned on vampire Mikaela's novels.

So now let me ask you all again:

Did you like to see Yuu growing up then die and leave Mika all alone in this world so Mika also turn to and emotionless dead body who has no goal in his life anymore just like other vampires? Or did you want Yuu to also turn to a vampire and then HATE Mika?!

Maybe that was indeed why Kagami sensei warned on one of his interviews before about this case:

Also the link for this interview:

Read this interview it has good information in it)

What are the difference really?!

Let just accept this:

Mika as a vampire was nothing good nor for Mika and nor for Yuu.

Both of them were going to just suffer and finally or one was going to die or were going to hate each others.

So what was the BEST way to SAVE Mika?!

The Mika who was Shikama doji's son from the very start of the story and even if there were no Ferid, Krul and Guren, Shikama doji was going to find him, himself and was going to do what he told his allies to do with Mika in new chapter.

Is it wrong that Shikama doji only wanted to ABUSE and USE Mika for his own goal and WANTED him to become a DEMON anyway?! Ofc he wanted that we literary saw this in new chapter! What do we have to deny to!

Even if Ferid, Krul and Guren didn't exist Shikama doji was going to turn Mika to a demon HIMSELF and then was going to destroy and abuse him again so Mika's destiny and fate wasn't different anyway.

But with what Guren did he opened a door to SAVE Mika and that was to buy some more TIME for Yuu and others to can save him before the first will capture him.

If Shikama doji was going to turn Mika to a demon himself then was going to control and use him right the MOMENT he turned and that was no other way to save him anyway but now?!

Now Shikama is asleep and they can use this TIME to save Mika and connect him to Yuu so he would be all fine and SAFE next to him.

Guren KNEW this.

He knew this from the very start that there is NO other way to SAVE Mika and if he wasn't going to turn Mika to a demon then that would be no other way to SAVE him and Mika will be gone forever.

So Guren made a choice.

He chose to play the role of the bad guy himself.

Let everyone to hate him but Mika will be SAVE.

Now can you see how Kagami played with us all?

Yamato sensei also pictured it the best way:

Guren WASN'T happy the moment he wanted to do that on 89.

He WASN'T laughing at Mika's suffering or being happy like how Ferid and Asuramaru did.

He was sorry and sad from the very bottom of his heart and deeply as he knew how much Mika meant to Yuu and Yuu was also like his own son too but he also knew this fact too that even if he would explain Yuu that why turning Mika into a demon is actually to save him Yuu would never be agree with that something which is completely understandable too.

So he FORCED to do it himself and start the plan of SAVING Mika himself even if he will turn to the big bad guy and everyone would hate him.

He did that all of these for his FAMILY'S sake because unlike Ferid who has no goal in his life but to take revenge of Saito or Asuramaru who wants nothing but to have more power and a high rank in a dark world the first promised him to creat

Guren is a HUMAN who only wants to SAVE his beloved ones even if he have to do somethings terrible which are bad in apparently but are the bests in depth for everyone.

Hope this post can open many eyes and will help people to look at the story like the way IT IS not how they want it to be.

#owari no seraph #seraph of the end #owarinoseraph #owari no serafu #guren ichinose #ichinose guren #ons #ons chapter 101 #hyakuya mikaela #mikaela hyakuya #hyakuya yuichiro #yuichiro hyakuya #yuuichirou hyakuya #hyakuya yuuichirou #asuramaru #ashera tepes #ferid bathory #saito #reiger stafford #crowley eusford #shikama doji #sikama du #mikayuu #yuumika #kagami takaya #takaya kagami #yamato yamamoto #yamamoto yamato

[ruthlesslistener]

Just to add onto the darkstalker conversation (different anon) yeah artic absolutely deserved to die. And yeah I think Tui fucked up his arc terribly, like his treatment in book 10 was atrocious and while Darkstalker legends had it's truly interesting and good bits I feel like it just went "haha he's evil shut up" at the end and Clearsight saying "maybe it was something he hatched with" and the book not even remotely refuting that bullshit made me want to throw something. To me I think the horror of the attic situation was the way he did it though. I mean in front of everyone and espically in front of whiteout who still cared for him and who had just suffered some major trauma. Arctic absolutely had to go Darkstalker was in the right to kill him. But the way he did it was the worst possible way imaginable in front of his also traumatized sister and also a bunch of Nightwing children. Yeah dragons kill each other all the time. But forcing someone to disbowel themself against their will? That's gotta be traumatizing. Just my two cents, although again I agree with most of your points and you're free to have your own opinion! :) -💜

YOU. YOU GET IT. YOU GET WHAT I MEAN ABOUT TUI FUCKING DARKSTALKER UP. Because the BIGGEST issue that I have with him is that the way she wrote him in the Legends was perfect- EXCEPT for the fact that she attributed his problems to being 'born evil'. Which is very much complete and utter bullshit considering the fact that she shoved this baby dragon into a family that turned him into a ticking time bomb before having the NightWing queen gleefully turn him into a war-weapon that fed into his taught notion of 'the only person that will help me is myself and the only way out of my shitty situation is power'. And then in book 10 we have NO idea why he wants to be king so badly (other than haha he's evil and arrogant fuck you), not to mention the horrorshow that was the ending with him. Like I don't want to excuse his actions or w/ever, but he was literally done so dirty by everyone around him and we got no reason for why he was trying to conquer the other tribes to begin with. Like, murdering the IceWings? Terrible, but I can at least understand it. Conquering everyone else? That's a hatchling's pipe dream that really shouldn't have been used to make him the Big Bad. The fact that he's a war weapon turned loose made him enough of a threat imo, and a therapy/redemption arc that DIDN'T reset him would have fit him much better.

As for the Arctic thing- I understand where you're coming from, anon, but I'll have to respectfully disagree. Forcing Arctic to disembowl himself was probably the most fitting end to that motherfucker that could have been given. Because imo, Arctic was way worse than Darkstalker was simply for the fact that there are many more lives on his consciousness and much more suffering at his claws that we see in-book. He abandoned his tribe to chase the tail of a dragoness that he barely met, sparking a war between the two tribes that lasted over a thousand years and causing countless deaths in the meanwhile. He deprived the IceWings of their animus blood. He became a traitor twice over- once when he betrayed his own, then when he tried to sell his daughter (whom he altered with a spell to make her more 'palatable', may I add) off to the IceWings. He killed and maimed hundreds for his actions, then had the audacity to make his mate's life a living hell for a choice that he made. The first thing that his infant son read from his mind upon his hatching was hatred and contempt, which only grew more violent as he aged. He made their home a place of anger and vitrol. He caused countless deaths and violence because he was too damn selfish to suck it up and deal with the lot that life had given him. That fucking bastard is the cause of so much pain and played a big part in why Darkstalker became a walking weapon, he deserves to pay for his crimes

Honestly? If I were Darkstalker, I would have dragged his ass to the high court or w/ever so that the entire kingdom would know what he did. Then I would have forced him to feel every second of agony that all those he wronged experienced after his betrayal, chaining him down so that he would never be able to free himself or use his powers again. A simple disembowlment is a mercy compared to the punishment he deserved for making a ruin of two kingdoms.

#wings of fire #darkstalker #wof darkstalker #anon #reply #i think the frustrating thing about arctic is tui trying to paint him as sympathetic and ds as evil #hes not #he's a fucking bastard

[dreamii-yume]

So, in the event, Rook has shown that he just carries rope with him. You may do whatever you wish with that information 👀

This was an ask from a few...weeks ago? I don’t remember exactly how long this was sitting in my inbox because I was waiting for the perfect time to answer it (//∇//)

Rook had been a very kind and helpful senior to you this year. You’ll be lying if you say that you didn’t think he was a bit strange like the others, but he has that certain charm in him that makes it difficult for you to complete look away from his direction. Besides, it got to the point where you just got used to him and even thought his actions were somehow entertaining...If you were the spectator, rather than the target that is.

Rook is a very doting person as well, you are by no means an exception to this peculiarity of his. He’ll appear when you least expected it, often startling you out of your skin just by a mere greeting alone. He would always talk to you as if he’s reciting a poem ever so often, making you think that you may or may not have completely lost his point here, it’s almost like he’s talking in a different language. He always acts like this towards you, and to everyone else as well, you could never know what he’s thinking or what he wants in the first place. Part of you just thought that he may just have been built differently than others, but then again, Rook is an elusive individual to begin with so everything could all be an act in the first place.

Long store short; you were both fascinated and terrified of this man.

But as strange and conflicting your relationship with Rook is, you still respected the guy as your senior to some extent. Say what you want about the the Pomefiore Vice Dorm Leader but you can’t deny his wide range of capabilities. When you are at a lost for things that you think you can’t do, he was the one who provided you with the advices and help that you needed during those times. Before you knew it, you had already owe him in many ways and yet, Rook had never once asked for anything in return.

“Worry not, mon petite chérie. For I am only doing of what I must.” He would say to you as an excuse, often filling you with guilt sometimes. Especially whenever he would ever so gently pat your head, chuckling to himself as he towers down upon you. “Seeing the beauty in your smile is enough to make my own heart flutter in happiness. Oui, believe me when I say that it’s that marvelous.”

Huh...So, people who accepts things like that as payment still exists in this time and age too. Forgive yourself from being too suspicious of his behavior though, you just don’t think a single smile is worth all that trouble but you guessed this was just another “agree-to-disagree” kind of situation. Who knows? The two of you did grew up in two different upbringings. Or quite literally, two different worlds.

Anyways, although you respected his choices after all this time, you thought it was just common sense to at least provide him with a simple gift in his birthday. You saw how everyone else such as Epel, Vil, and Trey were preparing their own gifts, so you don’t think he’ll be able to reject yours this time. You made your way through the Pomefiore lounge where the party was being held, but was unable to see a single glimpse of your peculiar senior around. It was a lively party and he may be busy with the other dorm residents, so you felt a bit out of place and proceeded to ask people you personally knew about his whereabouts.

“Rook? I was talking to him earlier but now, I have no idea where he went.” Vil said with a sigh as he crossed his arms. “That guy is as elusive as always, even I wouldn’t know exactly what’s running through that mind of his. It puts me in an unsettling position actually.”

“But it’s his birthday for goodness sake, he’s the main protagonist of the day. He should be the one to at least entertain the guest out here, not hiding in plain shadows, seriously.” You laughed nervously as Vil ranted in irritation, huffing by the end. He then glanced at you and soon took notice of the gift you’re holding. “If that gift is for him then, just leave it at his room. It’s unlocked, I believe. We stacked the other gifts he got earlier there too so it wouldn’t clog up the lounge.”

“O-Oh, is that so...Thank you very much.” Thus, ended your conversation with the Dorm Leader with a bow, watching as he walked away saying how Epel had been consuming way too much sugar for the night. With no more leads to follow, you chose to go with Vil’s suggestion and headed out to his room, still at a lost for where your senior could be.

It was true, the moment you spotted the room and turned the doorknob around, it easily spun open. “...Pardon my intrusion...” You slowly said as you took a peak before entering, unsure if anyone was actually inside. There was no one, just some elagant room design as expected with the Pomefiore dorm, with neat furnitures decorated all around. You could feel your own heart cry when you compare to your own dorm which trademark lies within the ghost residents.

You felt slightly anxious, it was your first time visiting his room like this so you couldn’t help but to gawk at some things you’ve never seen before. This was your chance to explore another man’s room, albeit only for a few seconds and by the looks of it, it really hits different that of Ace or Deuce. It has the exact same smell as Rook and the sense of familiarity was somehow calming, probably because you’re so used to being in close proximity with him now. His belongings were all well-organized, the books are neatly stacked on the bookshelves, along with some...questionable collection of bows and arrows stuck on the wall. You also noticed a spare hat and a single telescope lying on his desk, you could ask what it was for, but you preferred to keep the question for yourself.

You shook your head eventually, quickly but carefully prancing inside to place your gift on his desk. Finally, your quest has been conquered, although looking around, the other presents that Vil mentioned was nowhere to be found. Maybe he has them already opened and kept at a certain storage of some sort? Anyways, that wasn’t your problem now, you did what you needed to do, it was your time to bounce out of this room, feeling as if you’re invading too much of his personal privacy. Rook did told you that he never liked that in a person.

...Until, something else caught your eye.

You stopped, eyes blinking repeatedly at the slight tear in the wallpaper near his bed. There was something hidden inside, no, it doesn’t seem like it’s trying to hide at all. It was deliberately placed in a place like that for everyone to see. So, like a cat overwhelmed by curiosity, you stepped close to inspect it, even going as far as stepping on the neatly draped bed sheets of his to get a closer look.

“Eh...?” It was a mass of pictures of almost everything and everyone you can think of upon coming to this school. It was stuck inside the wall like a collection of some sort and it took you a while to actually get what all of this meant. “There’s so many pictures...Pfft...!”

You ended up laughing at yourself for feeling so tense, you honestly felt stupid for the amount of suspense you gave yourself. Of course, this was definitely something that Rook Hunt will do, what did you think it was going to be? Sure, it is creepy to think that someone is keeping tabs at everyone and everything through photography but this is just normal in this school. At least, to those who knew Rook to some extent, it’s not really a big deal nowadays, especially at this school. Anyways, you calmed your laughter down and stared back at the pictures to actually admire them as despite it all, every one of them are all well-taken.

Humming throughout your exploration, you thought it would be interesting to see if you could spot yourself in one of these photos. You looked around and at first, it was tough since you weren’t anywhere in the photos that the wallpaper could reveal but after a while you found a glimpse of your own face at the very edge. However, the tear in the wallpaper stops there so it filled you with disappointment to not be able to see the photo he took of you. “That’s a bummer...” You pouted slightly.

However, combined with overwhelming curiosity, your mischievous side couldn’t help but to come out. You peaked through the small hole inside the wallpaper and confirmed that there is more, as you expected Rook would have, just not visible from your angle. You didn’t want to damage anything but you carefully slipped your fingers in the small opening, trying to get a better look of the picture. You were mainly trying to shine light on them, just a little bit more and you could make out of its content. It got your heart pumping somehow, eager to see what kind of photo you were in.

“Bonjour~”

Screaming almost immediately due to panic and shock, you made the mistake of instinctively gripping his wallpaper tight, dragging them down completely by accident. You turned around, face flushed and clutched your chest as your heart beats so fast that it feels like it could jump out at any moment. “R-Ro-Rook-san!?” You stammered out, your butt hitting the bed while your legs shook. “W-Wha-When...!?”

Rook only gave out a chuckle as you frantically try to calm your nerves, which was nearly impossible after the stunt that he just pulled. You knew he loved doing this and to think you’d be used to it by now, but this one felt so different than the other times you were startled by him. He was so close to you with that greeting, too close in fact. Just where the hell does he keep coming from, you didn’t even hear a single sound from your surroundings. Rook stood straight before glancing over at the mess you had realized you made when his expression turned that of worry.

You were still gripping onto the ruined wallpaper at this point so, you gasped and quickly turned around, preparing for any damage you may have caused. However, at that moment, you stopped once your eyes had finally caught what kind of picture were inside those wallpapers all along.

“Aah...To think mon chére fleur herself would be the one to unravel my collection! How embarrassing~!” Rook said, placing a hand on his slowly heating up his cheeks. He bats an eye to your direction, looking all embarrassed as you stared, unblinking at his work. He soon smirked and chuckled darkly, leaning in closer to you from behind, in which you shivered at. “...But how does it look in your perspective? Aren’t they all beautiful?”

Yes, they were harmless pictures, that’s all there is supposed to be on it. But these pictures striked a nerve in you, one such that you didn’t know could cause this much wave of alarming fear in your body.

They were harmless but they were not normal in the slightest. For almost all of what the wallpaper had revealed was all about you, and only you that it makes you sick to the stomach. Everything that you remember doing in your daily routine had been taken into consideration, from a picture of you yawning as you wake up in the morning, to a picture of you sleeping peacefully at night. Pictures of you seemingly eating, walking, talking, everything that you’ve been doing is pasted on the same wall before you, all taken in such high resolution. If that wasn’t enough, even a few photos of you in the nude was in there, bathing and changing, you unconsciously wrapped your hands around yourself as goosebumps quickly formed.

Rook had literally been watching your every movements, documenting your life with a camera and capturing everything, including things that hits way too close. Deeply disturbed, your eyes tried to glance everywhere but the pictures, only to find no escape to them. Some pictures had even been tampered with before taking the shot, like that one photo where his hands shows his hands deliberately spreading your legs for the camera as you slept. You shivered, unconsciously thinking about that other one where it was your breasts that was fully out for the world to see and oh, god...That one with your sleeping face covered with a suspicious white liquid, you almost gagged at the mental image.

“...W-What is this...” You slowly looked up at Rook with fear in your eyes, trembling like a leaf as the same guy looked down upon you with a chilling smile. It was honestly too nauseating that you instinctively brought a hand to your mouth, just in case something does come out.

“Beauty, my Love.” Rook purred closer to you, his eyes brimming with desire. “Your beauty.”

He caught your chin in a gentle yet tight grip. “I had it preserve in a memory that I would forever see. Just keeping them in my mind alone was not enough.” He said, closing in on you on his bed, preventing any possible escape routes. “...For I am a greedy man.”

And with that, you found yourself in his bind, pinning you down on the bed with your hands on each side of your head. “Now...The reason why you invaded my sanctuary was...?” Rook asked but he was not expecting you to answer at all. Instead, his eyes glanced to the side, eyeing the gift you left on his desk. “...Ah, of course. Vil must’ve given you permission to hand your gift in.”

You were as stiff as a rock, too tense to even act and move. The hands on your wrists doesn’t seem too tight but a feeling in your gut screams at you to not even try if you didn’t want to get hurt. You were left gulping down your own nervousness as Rook turned back to you with the same smile. “Merci. I’ll be sure to treasure whatever you have given me.” He whispered as he leaned closer, giving you a delicate kiss on the temple in which you squeaked at. “...But nonetheless, you trespassed on someone else’s territory, petite proie. A predator’s territory, on top of that.”

“I-I’m sor-“

“Non, an apology is not what I need. Someone as beautiful as you should not make that kind face.” Rook cuts you off, before suggestively licking his lips. He sat up, confident enough to let go of your wrist, knowing fully well that you wouldn’t have the guts to push him off. He straddled above your stomach, which left you confused and wary to wonder what he was planning to do. However, looking back at him, your eyes widened in caution as he suddenly pulled out a long and thick rope, one that would certainly burn your skin if you struggle too much. Where in the hell did he... “Lift your head up high and reap what you have sowed. That is the beauty that can justify your crimes.”

“Now...” You breathe heavily as he tightened his hold on the rope, biting his lip eagerly. You can’t even imagine how much he has planned inside his head. It made you visit the terrifying possibility that he was ready for this moment from the very beginning, curiated and planned. Your heart drops at the thought, if that is really the case, then...Just how much? How much further into the future did he plan exactly? “Allow me to indulge myself to this fine opportunity you gave me, beloved Trickster.

“...A fine opportunity, indeed. Beautifully so.”

Allow Yume to flex on her non-existing French skills along with her companion, Google Translate. i sincerely apologize to any French Darlings out there yume did not attend a single French class in her life lol

Someone teach me French so I can write more things about this sexy bitch.

#rook hunt #yandere rook hunt #twisted wonderland #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere #Birthday Crumbs

[stormcloudrising]

I agree with you on Jon Dany being a show only thing. There are too many plotlines and too many characters' arc that need to be closed off , that too within the space of 2 books.

The amount of plot that has to be covered to get to a romantic story between the two of them is one of the biggest signs that their romantic relationship was a show only thing. That and the horrible way it was written.

In my opinion, the many clues George has dropped about the future conflict between the Wolf and the Dragon is pretty much totally ignored. Jon is also a Wolf and when he returns from the dead with part of Ghost in him, that will be more obvious than ever before. 

Wolves are pack and unless run off, they always remain pack. George is always true to the symbolism he has laid out. Theon was raised by the wolves but he never allowed himself to become part of the pack. That is why he was able to betray them so easily. There will be no conflict in within Jon over which side he is on, which is why that bit of indecisiveness on the show was pure foolish nonsense.

I’ve suggested on many previous occasions that I think that the blue winter rose in the crack in the wall has been misinterpreted by many in the fandom when it comes to a supposed romantic relationship between Jon and Dany. As with practically everything in his story, GRRM has layered the blue rose in the wall with symbolism.

The blue rose represents Lyanna and is a big clue that she is Jon’s mother. What it does not represent is Jon. The blue rose always and I mean, “always,” represent the daughters of House Stark. It has never represented the men of the House. So while it’s a big clue that points to Lyanna being Jon’s mother, Jon is not the blue winter rose in the Wall.

With the myths and legends he has woven throughout his tale, George has set up the blue rose as one of the most important motifs in the entire story…past and present. Lyanna is dead when the story begins and so we know that she won’t be playing the role in the story proper.  As the only two Stark daughters in the story, the position of the Blue Winter Rose falls on the shoulders of Arya and Sansa. No one else!

Ok, now let’s talk about the infamous crack where the rose is positioned in Dany’s dream. Keep in mind how George writes his foreshadowing via the visions he gives to the characters that have been so far revealed as being connected to magic…this includes Dany, Bran, Aeron, Jojen, GOHH etc. All of their visions are revealed in symbolic terms. It’s never B/W and obvious. It’s only after the event takes place that it becomes clear to the reader what was meant by the visions. 

It’s been foreshadowed throughout the books that the Wall will fall and the Others will invade. There are many fandom theories about the circumstances that will lead to this event but everyone agrees that the Wall will fall. It’s the biggest McGuffin in the entire story. 

One of the obvious events that will have an impact on the fall of the Wall and the invasion of the Others is Jon’s assassination by his fellow brothers of the Night’s Watch. There will be no Lord Commander to lead the Night’s Watch when the wall falls but more importantly, the murder of Jon is sure to split the brotherhood in two. Also keep in mind that the Wall is not just a gigantic, tall piece of ice. The Wall is also the Nights Watch. They are symbolically the wall that’s supposed to stand between the world of men and the Others.

Consider what led to Jon’s Nights Watch brethren decision to murder him. He opened the gates to the Wildings and allowed them to come south of the Wall. Many of Jon’s NW’s brothers disagreed with him allowing this. They were likely even plotting against him but they made no effort to move against him until Jon decided to abandon his post and oath and use the Watch to wage war on one of the Lords of the Realm.

This move by Jon pushed his brothers over the edge and he was killed by them immediately after he made this decision to betray his oath. 

Jon decided to use the Watch to take back Winterfell but what pushed him to this choice? The infamous Pink Letter. The contents of the letter pushed Jon to march south to retake Winterfell but more importantly, he wanted to find and rescue his “sister,” Arya.

“I made him a warm cloak from the skins of the six whores who came with him to Winterfell … I want my bride back … I want my bride back … I want my bride back …” 

ADWD Jon XIII

As Lyanna’s son, we can see how Jon started the crack that divided the brotherhood and will eventually lead to the fall of the Wall. However, it was to save “Arya,” one of the two Blue Winter Roses in the story, from Ramsay Bolton, which led to Jon’s betrayal of his oath. This action was the immediate cause of his assassination by his NW brothers. So we can see that symbolically in this instance, Arya was the Blue Winter Rose that created the crack in the Wall. This is just one of the many examples of how George uses symbolism to tell his story. 

Yes, Dany saw the blue winter rose in the crack, but it does not specifically have anything to do with her. Symbolically what she saw was Jon’s decision to abandon the Wall to rescue his sister, the Blue Winter Rose. This decision started the crack that will eventually lead to the fall of the Wall. It’s also a decision that will reverberate across the landscape and through the ages. 

Dany’s vision has to do with Jon and the daughters of House Stark. Not every vision she saw in the HOTU specifically relates to her…case in point, the Red Wedding. In my opinion, what Dany’s visions in the HOTU are lynchpin events that will have an impact on the entire story and as such, will tie into her individual arc in some manner but not all will affect her on a visceral/personal level.

Now before someone goes, what do I mean that the vision of the blue winter rose has nothing to do with Dany, let me say that I’m not saying that Jon won’t tie into her storyline or have any impact on it.  That would be kind of silly to suggest. I think that he most certainly will have an effect on her story but just not in the way many imagine. 

By the way, I also think that the blue rose in the crack in the Wall also clues us into events of the ancient past. I’ve proposed that Jonquil was the original Blue Winter Rose and I think that we will eventually find out that she was the Corpse Queen to Florian’s Nights King and was also the original crack in the wall of the brotherhood.  However, that discussion is for the Florian and Jonquil essay series where we will further discuss why Sansa is the most important Blue Rose on the board. 

Thanks for the ask!

#thoughts on this and that #ask stormcloud #blue winter rose #daughters of house stark

[yodawgiherd]

End of an Era

It was fun while it lasted guys :)

>>>Read on AO3<<<

And one night, without any warning, the last piece of the puzzle came. The dream told her everything, ran over the entirety of her life, and when the old and wrinkled soldier Mikasa closed her eyes for the last time, she woke up with unshed tears brimming in the corners.

Next to her, the devil she decapitated slept peacefully, with no marks or scars under his eyes. She didn’t want to wake him yet, as there was another person Mikasa needed to talk to right now, so getting out of the bed carefully she located her phone.

“M-Mikasa?”, a yawn, “It’s four in the morning, why are you calling me?”

“I’m sorry Armin, I have to ask you something.”, Mikasa whispered, keeping her voice low not to wake Eren, “please…”

“Sure, just…” another yawn, this time even longer, “Give me a second so I can collect my brain from the dreamland.”

Mikasa could hear the phone being put down and then the rustling of bedding on the other side as Armin was most likely stretching and fully waking up. She waited patiently until he picked the device up again, speaking in a much clearer voice.

“Ok, I guess I’m functional now. What’s up?”

“In the book you are writing, does the main pairing gets a happy ending? Do they get together?”

“I… Uh… Is that why you woke me?”

“Armin, please. It’s important to me.”

In truth, the blond had no idea why Mikasa was suddenly so interested in the ending of his story. Sure, she read it during development and said that it was good, but there’s a difference between that and calling at four AM to grill him about the ending she didn’t get to see yet because Armin finished it about a week ago. Then again, her voice was completely serious and while Mikasa did like some fun pranks from time to time, this didn’t sound like one at all. So, following her wish, Armin gave her an honest answer.

“No, they don’t. The girl is forced to kill her love interest to save the world from him, but it's sort of bittersweet because their friends get to live a happy life after.”

There was a gasp on the other side as if he confirmed some of Mikasa’s suspicions.

“Why?”

“Well, people like angst, and giving everyone a happy ending is a bit of a cliché, no? I mean…”

“Why her though, wasn’t she the heroine?”

“Yes, but she can move on in time you know, forget about him and whatnot.”

There was a bit of silence on the other side before Mikasa spoke again, this time in a small and sad voice.

“Could you change it? Please, for me.”

“How?”

“Just make her happy…”

Running a hand through his sleep-tussled hair Armin puffed out air, turning the possibilities in his head. It wouldn’t be that hard to make Mikasa’s wish come true. He had a lot of supernatural going on in his book, monsters, and gods, a simple resurrection wouldn’t break the story. Plus it was rare to hear Mikasa beg like this, she was usually the “cool and stoic” type, and it tugged at Armin’s heart.

Hell, why not.

“All right, I’ll do it somehow.”

“You will?!”

“Yeah, but you’ll owe me one.”

There was happy and relieved laughter on the other side.

“Of course, I’ll do anything Ar, thank you so much!”

With a click, the call ended and Mikasa let out a long breath, rubbing the unshed tears from her eyes. It would seem that Armin wasn’t writing a story, more like remembering it, but unlike the one that happened this one would get a different ending.

Mikasa told Eren everything over breakfast, hugging a warm cup of coffee with both hands. He didn’t say anything while she spoke, just listened, his green eyes taking all of her in, both words and gestures. Only when she finished did he let out a long breath, one that felt like he was holding in for an eternity.

“This is a lot to take in.”, he said, “Especially at once.”

“I know…, you don’t have to believe me but…”

“I believe you. Every word.”

“Just like that?”

A firm nod.

“You believe it, and I see no reason why I should not. Past lives and other-universe memories can exist, it's not like the entire human psyche has been mapped.”

He looked away for a second.

“The Eren you described, he is so different than me, yet so terrifyingly similar in some aspects. I can sit here and say that I would never cause the apocalypse but in his place…? I just can’t know for sure.”

“I guess we are lucky that we don’t have to find out.”, Mikasa offered, “This life is so much better than whatever they went through...”

“For sure.”

“And that’s not all.”

“What do you mean?”

“I… I think I married someone… Jean maybe? Had kids with him too.”

“Oh my god.”, Eren threw an arm over his face dramatically, “Out of all people, why him?”

“I… I don’t know if it was him but….”

“Please Miki, I get that I died, and you wanted to move on, but didn’t your past life have any taste ?”

“Hey! Jean is nice.”

He peeked at her from under his arm.

“Nice huh?”

“Yea, nice. You know what, if you die I’m going to marry him here too.”

The fingers that were till now peacefully resting on her hip curved and dug into her flesh, a dangerous flash in the emerald that stared at her.

“You’re just trying to rile me, is that it?”

She fought the grin, not wanting it to reveal the joke.

“Maybe…”

However, Eren’s grip weakened as his face grew distant, the classic “philosophical” look entering his features.

“Would that be fair to him though? Jean is… okay I guess, and you treating him like an afterthought, a second choice? Not nice.”

Mikasa’s smile faltered when she realized that, and Eren was not even done with his speech.

“Then again, if I’ll be dead then I guess I have no agenda in telling you what to do. Plus I think I’d be happier if you moved on and had a family instead of mourning me forever. You are too young for that.”

These words hit way too close to Mikasa’s dream, and she could feel the sadness rising in the chest again. To battle it, she took hold of Eren’s chin and tugged it down until their lips were touching.

“Hey, not more talk about death, okay?”, she ordered, “I had enough of that while sleeping.”

“Yes ma’am.”

When she kissed him, Mikasa’s sadness melted away again, chased away by Eren’s warmth against her. Maybe her other self had to settle for something else, but not her. She was here and she had the love of her life right in her arms, in her bed, and she couldn’t be happier about it.

Eren mulled the facts over for a time, putting them together in his head. It was a nice day outside, and while he did all the math Mikasa simply watched him with a faint smile on her lips. It was almost noon when he came to her with a new question.

“So let me get this straight – I didn’t achieve anything In the end? My island was still nuked and the monsters…”

“Titans.”, Mikasa corrected him.

“Right, titans. Those are still around? Man, I guess I was turned into a clown at the end.”

She didn’t know how to disagree with any of those points.

“And the point of it all was nothing? That no matter how hard you struggle to save something you hold dear it will end up destroyed anyway?”

“It does sound hopeless when you put it like that.”

He snorted.

“Guess I was a certified clown then – oh well, now you see what zero pussy does to a motherfuc…”

“No, no, oh my god.”, Mikasa interrupted him, “Why do you keep making fun of it, I swear you are such a kid and…”

“W-What?”, Eren had trouble speaking because of the laughter, “It’s true! I died for nothing in your dream, I was a joke.”

“No… It wasn’t like that.”

“Take it as you will, but all my nightmares became reality and…”

Eren tapped the table a few times, most likely trying to wrap his head around it all.

“…you married Jean.”

“Well… yea, that was a bit weird.”

“Was it? I mean, the guy had a crush on you.”

She blinked at him.

“It was just a tiny one if there even was one at all.”

“Oh c’mon Miki,”, Eren’s grin was wide, “You couldn’t be that dense.”

“I-I mean…”

Jean? A crush? It reminded her of that night, not that long ago when she found out that most if not all of her female friends would like to have some sort of intimate experiments with her.

“Doesn’t matter.”, she blurted, “He’s a good friend, and I like him a lot, but not romantically!”

“He will be heartbroken…”

“He will?”

“Nah,”, Eren chuckled, “Jean got over it, he and Hitch are happy together, as far as I know.”

“That’s good, a crush is hardly a good base for a real-life relationship.”

“Then I guess we can be happy that you guys married in a dream only.”

“Indeed.”, she reached over the table to gently touch his face, “Here I have you.”

Eren mirrored her gesture, letting his thumb stroke the scar on Mikasa’s cheek.

“And I have you.”

“Forever.”

“Sadly.”

“What was that?”

“Oh nothing baby…”, a devilish grin, “Yes, forever.”

With her dreams done and finished it was time to return to civilization, to leave the cabin life behind. Eren told her that he got this, very courteously, most likely still worried about her mental state.

“Just take it easy,”, he said, kissing the top of her head, “I’ll pack.”

He did as he said, fighting with the baggage to the best of his ability. Mikasa was left to wander around aimlessly, and for whatever reason her steps took her to the big tree sitting there, overlooking a vast plain of grass. Taking a deep breath of the fresh air she leaned on the tree, but then her eyes caught sight of something that almost made her jump out of her skin.

There was a ghost sitting there, a ghost of her, dressed in a simple skirt and shirt, the scarf still around her neck. The apparition was about the same age Mikasa was, maybe a bit younger, but they looked almost the same. Her hair wasn’t short, it was long and pulled into a ponytail and there was no red highlight decorating it. The ghost looked up, her eyes meeting Mikasa’s, and a faint smile crossed her lips.

It was her perfect copy, down to the scar on the cheek - albeit the ghost’s was even more faded than hers, long years washing over it. She must have gotten her cut as a teenager. And there was also something about the eyes – it would be a lie to say that Mikasa had an easy life, but what she saw in the ghost’s eyes was something different altogether. The sitting girl saw hell and more, and it showed in her face.

“You are me.”, Mikasa finally pushed out.

The ghost looked at her curiously, tilting her head to the side.

“You… you can’t speak, can you?”

The ghost shook her head.

“I wonder why….”

The sitting girl shrugged, not understanding this any more than Mikasa did. She was just about to question her further when something else caught her attention. The ghost wasn’t sitting there on her own, there was something next to her – a tombstone with a very familiar name written on it.

Eren Yeager

Mikasa already had a suspicion, but this confirmed it – the sitting girl was the other Mikasa, the one she had dreams about, her past life. Following her eyes the ghost saw what she was looking at, her smile replaced by a look of deep longing. Gently, she caressed the stone, her eyes shining with tears.

“So the dreams were right, huh? You had to kill him.”

The ghost nodded solemnly.

“You saved the world, everyone, but you had to give the love of your life up.”

The apparition didn’t react, eyes trained at the cold tombstone.

“They say that if you love something, you should let it go.”, she told the ghost, “But I can’t do that….”

Looking over her shoulder at the man she loved so much, Mikasa let the words spill freely.

“I guess I’m selfish but I don’t want to lose this love we have, no matter what kind of symbolism it is. I want to wake up next to him every morning and spend ten minutes getting out of his hands because he holds me so tightly when we sleep. I want to see him yawn and wish him good morning and share a cup of coffee. I want him to be there for me when I come back so we can talk about our days and cuddle on the couch together…”

Her hands intertwined on the abdomen, gently stroking the fabric of her shirt.

“I want to have children with him, family, kids that will combine my and his looks and attitude. Is that selfish? Is that too much to ask? Is that…”

Lost in her speech Mikasa stumbled over the words and fell silent, letting out a short laugh after.

“I’m selfish and I don’t care. I’m never letting go simply because I don’t want to and damn everyone who disagrees with me. I deserve this, I deserve to be loved.”

As soon as those words left Mikasa’s lips she realized how insensitive those were towards her other self, the poor girl who, for all her bravery, for the act of saving the world itself – got nothing.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”, she apologized to the sitting copy of herself, “I know that you never got to experience any of that with him.”

The ghost’s face fell and she buried her face to the scarf, eyes moving towards the headstone next to her. Seeing the longing written in her features, Mikasa couldn’t help but wonder.

“Did you… did you learn to let him go? Did you come to terms with his death?”

The pain in the girl’s eyes was all the answer Mikasa needed. It resonated within her, the suffering because she could imagine how it would feel. Maybe it was because she experienced it in her past life, maybe it was because of all these strange visions but she could do it and the pain and emptiness were terrible.

“This is not fair,”, she blurted, “You did everything you could, you saved the world and this was your reward? You’ve sacrificed… everything… and….”

She was crying now, Mikasa realized, her tears matching the ghost’s. Falling to her knees next to the girl she tried embracing her only to realize that she can’t touch a figment of her imagination.

“I’m so sorry for how the universe treated you, you deserved more, so, so much more….

More flashes- this time of a child, a faceless husband, grandkids too.

“This, all that… Did it make you happy?”

The ghost girl gave her a small enigmatic smile, and Mikasa realized one thing. It wasn’t for her to know – maybe she was happy with the other family, maybe she wasn’t, that would remain an enigma.

“But still, you kept visiting his grave,”, Mikasa’s eyes moved over to the headstone and the flowers there, “You never let his memory fade.”

A nod from the other girl.

“Still, it wasn’t fair to you. You could have been, no, should have been so much more…”, this time the raven’s eyes moved to where her Eren was, “You deserved to have a happy future with him too.”

“Yet you didn’t, and I did – you got the pain and I have the rewards you fought for. I swear, I will not let it go to waste.”

Standing up, she offered her hand to the ghost.

“Please, come with me, experience all that you bled for, struggled for so much. Let me show you how the love you wanted feels in full bloom.”

But the girl didn’t move, simply looking at her. And that was when Mikasa realized….

“… you don’t have to come with me because you are already here. You are me, I am you, we are the same person.”

It was strange, realizing that this was her- this old, tired soldier, a woman broken by a war Mikasa couldn’t even comprehend. A tragic hero who sacrificed her greatest love for the greater good, being left with nothing but a memory. A girl who was thrust into a cruel world and treated unfairly, no matter how hard she tried to change it, to save those she held dear. Tears in the corners of her eyes, Mikasa clenched her fists.

Not anymore.

Now there was no war, no titans, no apocalypse over their heads. Eren wouldn’t go to commit a global genocide to save his country, only to have it destroyed anyway. She wouldn’t marry another man and have children with him, bring her family to his grave, and plant flowers with pain in her heart. No.

Mikasa wasn’t a soldier anymore – she was an MMA fighter, a professional athlete, a model. Her life wasn’t filled with a constant struggle for survival. It was dreamy- filled with everything she could wish for, whatever it was spending her time with friends, goofing around with Eren, or training her pole dancing. She didn’t care for horses or sharpen her blades.

Eren wasn’t a hopeless maniac, driven to war by the sheer necessity of survival – he was a doctor, a surgeon, helping people in need not killing them.

Most importantly they were together – an engaged couple that loved each other so much that they couldn’t put it into words correctly. No tragedy would befall them.

Keeping her hand outstretched, Mikasa talked to the ghost again.

“We are one, but I am the lucky part of us, of me. I am love, I am the nights and lazy mornings spent in bed, I am all the kisses and hugs. You are my sadness, my sacrifice, my longing and pain, my unfulfilled and tragic fate.”

She stretched her fingers closer to the girl.

“Please, take my hand and experience it all with me, learn that there is beauty in this cruel world.”

Not hesitant anymore, the ghost held her hand towards Mikasa.

When their fingers made contact a chill ran down her spine and she gasped, blinking several times. The girl was gone, so was the grave, only the tree remained and gently swayed in the wind. And in her heart, in her soul, Mikasa felt different – different yet same because now she knew everything and the pain in her heart resonated.

It would always be a part of her, or rather it always was, but Mikasa wasn’t feeling down because of it. Now she knew that she had to feel everything, every touch and happy emotion that she experienced with him because it was what her past died for. If anything the full realization of her suffering made Mikasa appreciate it even more – she was living this life not only now but for the past too.

He was her Eren, she was his Mikasa, and in this world, nothing would tear them apart. And the tears the began to appear in her eyes did nothing to deny that fact.

“Miki? Why are you crying, what’s wrong?”

Refusing to answer Mikasa crossed the distance and hugged him, burying her face into Eren’s chest. Understanding that she didn’t want words now he stroked her back patiently, waiting for her to come back to him.

“Eren, you won’t ever leave me, will you?”

“Never.”

“I mean, I couldn’t do it even if wanted to.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t think I love you anymore, it’s more like fascination, adoration maybe.”

“…Eren…”

“Hell, I’d do anything to stay with you, you want me to bark for you? Cause I will..”

Despite her sad mood, Mikasa felt the smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“Stop, come on.”

Ignoring that, he pressed his face into her hair, a quiet bark leaving his lips.

“Woof.”, he nuzzled her gently, “There, I did it.”

She giggled at that and Eren smirked, glad that he made her smile because that was his mission in life – making the beautiful angel he was, for some reason blessed by, happy.

It made her reflect on the whole story, now that she had it whole. Eren kept silent while Mikasa was deep in thought, his fingers gently stroking her hipbone in small soothing circles. In her mind, she recalled as much as she could, brought it together and….

Mikasa took a shuddering breath.

“It makes no god damn sense.”

“What doesn’t?”

“The whole story, It… it doesn’t add up at all. You dying for nothing, me moving on so quickly I… The whole world….”

She was pouting now, that adorable expression that made Eren want to kiss it right off of her face, but he held himself back. Mikasa was talking.

“It had such a nice build-up, but in the end, it collapsed completely. I don’t understand why….”

“Well, that is the thing with dreams.”, he mumbled next to her, “They often don’t make much sense once we wake up.”

“But still..”

“Mikiiiiiiiiii…”, unable to resist her cuteness anymore, he pressed a string of soft kisses all over her face, turning that pout into a breathless giggle, “Stop overthinking dreams so much.”

Grabbing her hand he intertwined their fingers, raising it so the sun slid over their skin. It highlighted the contrast between them, how his tanned shade complimented her pale one, just as perfectly as they completed one another in life.

“This. This is important.”, he said, “This is real. You may be a broken titan slayer in your dreams, but here you are… well, still a titan slayer but one that is happy… I think.”

His voice got even deeper when he directed his question right at her.

“Are you happy with me?”

Mikasa was nodding her head before she even realized what was happening.

“Yes. Gods yes, I couldn’t be happier.”

“See?”, the flash of white teeth revealed his grin, “Then focus on that. Here, in this world, I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll stay with you as long as you’ll have me.”

“That might be a very long time Yeager, are you sure that you want to do that to yourself?”

“As if I had a choice.”, his fingers danced over her hip, “You bound me to yourself with black magic, remember?”

“Good to see that you remember that. My Dark Knight.”

The kiss Eren gave her was interlaced with a smile, and it was one of the sweetest Mikasa ever got in her life. He was right, after all, her dreams, past self, it was a tragedy that befell her, but it was so jumbled at the end that she had a hard time taking it seriously. The “ending” of her past didn’t make sense, no matter how much she tried to see the point of it. It all looked like such a tragedy, but in the end…. was it maybe a comedy? A twisted image where all the sacrifice and pain they went through amounted to nothing? Where several characters were made to be worthless, and their struggle amounted to nothing? A parody of a terrible conflict that couldn’t be solved by anything else by an annihilation?

But... why dwell on it?

She had this- this life, this Eren, and this happiness that they built together, and she loved every second of it.

And there was nothing else that the past could show her anymore.

“Let’s get out of here.”

“You sure? Didn’t forget anything?”

Mikasa looked at the tree where the conversation with the ghost took place, smiling. Tightening her hold on Eren’s hand, she felt more content than ever before, finally having an explanation and ending for her nightmares. It all made sense, and she would live her life to the fullest with the love of her life – not only for herself but for the other Mikasa too. She deserved to experience it, every second of it. After all, they were one and the same.

“Yes. I have all I need right here with me.”

#eremika #fanfic #:)

[neo-culture-mafia]

Triggered (badass reader + n.yt)

➼ “Flying back and forth from Japan to Korea wasn’t easy, especially when you were about to become the Japanese Junior Forces’ leader. You still had doubts about whether you were ready to take those responsibilities or not. But when you decided to take care of a serious problem with your own hands, you found out a new facade of yourself. A tough one.”

Words count: 3.9k

Genre: angst - mafia!au - boss!reader - leader!yuta - badass reader - mention of the dreamies.

Warnings: strong themed - mention of bruises/wounds - aggressive behavior - violence - mention of guns - sexual violence.  

Disclaimer: This contains mentions of sexual violence, I didn’t describe anything, but if you think you might still be sensitive to this, don’t read it.

“Hey losers!” You announced as you walked into the teacher break room.

“Wow, you remembered the way back home!” Jeno gasped in fake surprise, causing a few laughs in the room. “I thought you were going to stay in Japan forever.”

“We all did. By the way, you lost.” Renjun extended his open palm towards Hyuck with a grin on his lips as he scrolled down through his phone. “Shit.” Donghyuck whined, touching his back pocket for his wallet. “I’ll pay you a cappuccino later after classes.” He stared at Renjun with puppy eyes, receiving a small “Deal.” as a reply.

“Don’t tell me you two bet I wasn’t coming back.” You asked in crossing arms after hugging Jisung, he was the only student allowed to get in the teachers' break room.

“Of course not!” Renjun voiced, looking at you with the most offending expression ever on his face. “Donghyuck bet you would come back only after your marriage ceremony, and I bet you would come back before the ceremony to tease us.” He added, quickly turning his attention back to his phone, almost as the lack of eye contact with you would help him avoid your anger.

“Was that supposed to sound any better?!” You rolled your eyes, hitting the back of Hyuck's head as you hugged him. “I missed you too, idiots.”

“Oh, we didn’t miss you. At all. We’re too busy taking care of your classes to miss you.” Chenle whined, stopping a pile of papers on his desk, pouting at all the tests he still had to read later.

“Oh, right! I heard that you’ve been promoted to teacher, congratulations!” You pinched Chenle's cheek, hearing a groan leave the younger boy's lips as he pushed you away to make you stop.

“You sound like that is a good thing. I’ve never admired you guys so much as I admire you now. Those kids can be wild sometimes.” Chenle quietly admitted, not enjoying all the memories that surfaced his mind from his first week as a teacher.

“Welcome to the lack of sleep life where energy drink is your best friend. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.” Jaemin announced while he closed the fridge's door, throwing an energy drink to Chenle, and opening another one for himself.

“Thank you? I guess?” Chenle twisted his face, forcing himself to sit next to the table where all those papers waited to be marked with grades.

“Speaking of classes, how are my students? I remember having aces all over my class.” You asked as you threw yourself on the couch, next to Jaemin, who was now typing his next test on his laptop.

“Remember that girl with the blue hair? We’re kind of worried about her grades.” Jaemin started, followed by a bunch of hums in agreement from his friends.

“Kim Young?” You stared at Jaemin, expecting that you had misheard him, but as he positively nodded, your mind just went more confused. “Why? She has never seen a B or anything below that on her tests before.”

“A few months after you traveled to Japan, she started to fail all of our classes. She even had to redo a few of our classes, and now all of her friends are on more advanced classes than her.” Jeno addressed, letting deep sigh leave his lips as Renjun locked his phone's screen to fully focus on the conversation.

“That isn’t possible. She’s one of our smartest students!” “We know. But we had no choice but to make her repeat our classes. It broke our hearts to do it, we even had a small meeting together to see if we could give her an essay or something, but we just couldn't help her at that point.” Renjun backed his friend up, making you only stare at the only boys, searching for anyone who could give you any hope on defending the little girl.

“Was it that bad?” You asked in surprise, receiving a paper on your hands. It was her test. It was blank. “But... This doesn't make sense. Have you talked to Mark about it? Maybe if he talked to her, he could try to understand what is happening.” You questioned, still staring at her test with worry lines taking over your forehead.

“She slept during that test, by the way.” Chenle shook his head with nothing but confusion on his face.

“We have all tried to talk to her, including Mark. But she gave each one of us the same answer “I apologize, senior. I will work harder to not let any of you ashamed of my grades”, and even if we insisted, she would still say she’s just lacking effort.” Donghyuck talked in a higher pitch as an attempt to reproduce what her voice sounded like, but it only made you roll your eyes.

“I doubt that’s the case.” You handed over the test back to Chenle, debating whether or not to try to talk to her.

As much as you were still Junior Forces, your relationship with Yuta had caused you to be assigned to more missions in Japan, Taeyong had already talked about how he had plans for you to become the leader of Japan's Junior Forces since the business was starting to grow much more than expected there. 

“Well, then you go and talk to her. I’m sure Mark wouldn’t mind it.” Renjun suggested, shrugging when Jeno looked daggers at him. “He would probably thank you for the rest of his life if you managed to get her to talk about what’s going on.” He added.

“Are your classes over for now?” You asked, looking at your wristwatch as you tried to remember your old schedules.

“Yeah. She’s probably back in her dorms again. She’s been spending a lot of time there lately.” Jeno quietly answered, wondering how pissed Mark would be if he disagreed about this.

"Okay. I'll check her room then. See you later, losers." You blew a kiss to your friends, messing Jisung hair before you left the breakroom. 

As you walked closer to Young's door, your ears automatically heard the girl's voice, but she wasn’t alone. 

“Please, don’t do this. It’s still hurting from the last time...” You heard her fragile voice, making your hand stop a few centimeters away from the door, not daring to move a muscle as you paid attention to whatever was coming after that. “Ah, princess, you know that’s not how this goes. You don’t get a say on this.” 

“But-” “Unless you want those pictures running around...” The man’s voice cut her off. “No! Please, just- don’t do this.” Her voice sounded quieter and more distant.

And that was it. In a quick movement, you kicked the door down, seeing one of the most heartbreaking scenes you had ever witnessed in all of your long years of the mafia. The fragile fourteen years old who once held so much light on her eyes, was with her eyes consumed by tears, shaking by fear and probably cold as her breasts were exposed to the eyes of a random fucker you had disliked ever since day 1. He was already taking off his belt and his eyes were disgustingly admiring her figure, making you want to throw up. 

“What the fuck is going on here?” You seethed, instinctively closing your fists while you burned the fucker alive with the look on your face. 

“Y/N... w-what, what are you doing-” He stuttered out of surprise, taking a few steps away from the girl as you started to slowly walk closer to him. 

“For you, it’s boss, you son of a bitch.” You quickly threw your jacket to the crying little girl, who at that point was already sobbing and avoiding to look at your eyes. 

“Senior, I am so sorry.” The girl rushed to apologize while covering her shaking upper body with your jacket.

“Young, listen very carefully to what I'm gonna say.” You started, not daring to take your eyes off of the man a few meters away from you. In a matter of seconds, you got in with the right, knocking him down. “Don’t ever apologize for someone else’s shit.” “Teacher... I-”

“What did he mean by pictures?” You asked, staring at the man’s immobile body.

“You heard that? How much did you-” “It doesn’t matter, you’re okay now.” You cut her off, being careful as you approached her. The girl’s condition was heartbreaking. Her stomach and neck were filled by what seemed to be hickeys. The poor little thing was so frightened, that she even flinched when you tried to touch her. “Hey, it’s okay. You can trust me. I won’t cause you any harm.” 

“He said he would expose the pictures if I didn’t become his bitch.” She muttered, lacing her arms around her body as she tried to stop herself from shaking.

“What pictures?” You gently asked. “Pictures of me... naked.” Young whispered the last part, closing her eyes and flinching, almost like she was expecting you to scold her. But your heart was too broken for that. 

“Oh honey.” You closed your eyes for a few seconds, slowly shaking your head. “How would he have pictures of you naked?” 

“I- I don’t know.” The girl opened her eyes once she realized you weren’t going to scold her, and deep down she wished you to lecture instead of looking at her with so much worry. “A few months later, I was insecure about my lack of curves. I talked to Mark about it, and back then he said that our true beauty can only be seen by someone else’s eyes. And I wanted to see it, I wanted to feel pretty in my own skin... so I took a few Polaroid pictures of myself fully naked... they weren’t supposed to be seen by anyone else, I was gonna burn them later, but then he... he keeps them in his third drawer, that’s the only thing I know, I swear.” Young kept her body slumped downward, looking at her aggressor while more tears fell down her cheeks.

“Okay.” You nodded, taking a deep breath in pure frustration before you continued to talk. “Listen, right now I want you to take a long 10 minutes shower, put on some comfortable clothes, and wait for me here. I’ll be back in 15. Don’t talk to anyone and don’t open the door to anyone but me. Do you understand?” You asked in a serious tone, with your hands itching to touch her and comfort her, but you knew better than that. You had to respect her space.

“What are you gonna do?” Young asked as her small hands cleaned some of her tears away from her face.

“I’m gonna make this fucker wish he was dead.” You threateningly stated. Your eyes were glued on the man's figure on the floor, and the only reason why you still hadn't beaten the crap out of him, was because Young was too unstable to take all the violence. “Go to the bathroom. We’ll talk later.” 

Once Young was nowhere to be seen, and the sound of the water dropping filled the room, you grabbed the motherfucker's by his hair and slapped his face with all of your strength. 

“Wake the damn up!” You hollered on his ear, causing Leon to open his eyes, still with a confused expression on his face. “What are you doing?” He muttered when his eyes finally focused on the pissed figure of you. “Let go of me.” 

“Wrong answer. Let’s go for a walk.” You hissed with your half-shut eyes, dragging the motherfucker out of the room and through the empty hall with nothing but a pure and unstoppable rage burning and rushing through your veins. 

As you kicked the son of a bitch's body at the top of the stairs, you silently hoped he wouldn’t get downstairs alive. But unfortunately, bad people never die easily. When the asshole's body finally hit the flat floor, the first thing he attempted to do was run. In a matter of seconds, the Glock that was resting on your waistline was already on your hands. 

“You run, you get a hole in your head!” You shouted, quickly getting the safety off as you pointed the gun right at the brains of that fucker. 

You calmly went downstairs, with your eyes never leaving the eyes of the man who had awakened the worst part of you. It wasn’t easy to get to your feelings, but he had the fucking nerves to do it when he laughed at your face when you questioned him about what you had just seen. He had left you no other choice but to push him down the stairs. Oops?

When your feet finally touched the ground, Leon, who had now the side of his head bleeding, adjusted his posture trying to somehow look taller than you, almost like an animal trying to terrify his prey. If only he knew the prey in the situation was himself, he wouldn’t have dared to act like that. You were going to hunt him in hell if you needed to. The outcome of his action was your anger growing stronger. 

“Look at you. I didn’t even start it and you barely can keep yourself on your feet.” You laughed bitterly with a disgusted look on your face. Leon spitting his blood next to your feet in purpose didn’t help you with getting any calmer. “On your knees.” You growled, motioning to the floor with the gun, never breaking eye contact with him. 

Your eyes were on fire and if you weren’t holding yourself back as much as you were, you would’ve exterminated his ass by now. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” He huffed with a mocking smile directed to you as he chuckled, almost like you were talking nonsense. 

“Do I sound like I’m fucking kidding? Huh?” You hit his chest with your glock, silently wishing would “accidentally” pull the trigger while doing that. “You fucking psycho!” In a quick move, you hit his head with the gun and kick his stomach, getting him straight to the floor, writhing from the pain that was burning his body. “On. Your. Knees. NOW!” You hollered in pure hatred, shooting next to his body, causing him to flinch and quickly get on his knees as you told him to.

“What the hell is happening here?!” You heard Mark's voice yelling at you, followed by the sound of his feet hectic coming downstairs. Your heart was beating so fast that you were finding it difficult to hear anything that wasn’t yourself and all the ways you were quietly weighing on how to kill that son of a bitch. 

“Don’t get involved, Mark.” You clenched your jaw as an attempt to control yourself to avoid the situation to escalate any more. 

“Y/N, put the damn gun down. He’s family. You can’t kill family.” He firmly stated, walking slowly towards you. 

“Mark, right now, I’m not talking as your friend, I’m talking as your fucking superior, so if I told you to not get involved, you will stay the fuck out of this!” You looked at Mark out of the corner of your eye, not daring to move a muscle as you constrained the anger inside of your body. “Call Taeyong. Or I will drag this idiot's bleeding ass through the whole base till Taeyong's office to show our leader the shit this fucker has been doing.” You added in baring teeth, refusing to look anywhere but Leon's face who still had the guts to maintain his mocking smile. 

“Y/N!” You heard more voices calling for you, as more and more noises of steps started to resound in your ears, but you were too busy to care.

In a blink of an eye, there was already a circle full of people around you. Most of them were just curious students. If the situation was different, you would probably wonder if showing them that much violence was healthy, but it was not like you were in your perfect state of mind. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Jeno questioned, attempting to get closer to the fallen man, only to find your open left arm as an obstacle, stopping him to move further. 

“Jeno. Room 149. Third drawer. Go. Bring me whatever you find there.” You told the black-haired boy, who just stared at you in confusion before muttering a quiet ”okay” and vanishing.

“Why are you doing this to him? Isn’t he family?” One of your students asked in a scared tone, making your confidence falter for a second. 

“Shh, don't ask.” Donghyuck warned him, taking a few steps closer to you till he was on your left side. “Whatever this is, are you sure you want to do this here? There are too many kids down here, and some high-level men are also starting to arrive.” He whispered, placing his hand on your shoulder, trying to get your attention.

“Believe me, you would do the same thing if you were on my shoes.” You answered with a dry mouth.

“Ms. Y/N.” Taeyong's voice filled the place, with all heads turning to face him as he slowly went down the stairs with Yuta, your fiancée, behind him. 

Immediately, everyone who was around you opened space for Taeyong to go through the crowd and reach you with no problems. Deep down, many of those people were expecting you to be scolded by Taeyong. The outcome was much different.

“Mind explaining what’s going on?” Taeyong asked in crossed arms as his eyes wandered indifferently at the bleeding man that he recognized seconds later as one of his own.

“This bitch is threatening to kill me, boss! She’s crazy!” Leon crawled closer to Taeyong, only to stop at the sound of Yuta's gun safety going off. “One step closer and you’re done.” Yuta stated, threatening to point his gun at the disgusting man.

“I would be more careful with your words if I was you. Her future husband is standing right by my side, and I can assure you he won’t be as patient as I am. And besides, I didn’t ask you, I asked her.” Taeyong turned his face to stare at you, nodding as permission for you to speak. 

“As you know, Neo Culture treasures and nourishes family as the most important thing in life. We should always have the back of our own, right?” You started with a clear irony on your voice, waving your gun around in circles with a tight-lipped smile on your face.

“Correct.” Taeyong nodded once in agreement, furrowing his brows with attentiveness. “Go on.”

“Then tell me why the fuck this son of a bitch was abusing one of our juniors? A minor?” You snapped, pointing your gun back at his forehead in a quick movement. 

The whole place started to be filled with gasps and whispering. 

“She's lying!” Leon shouted in anger, pointing his finger at you, trying to get Taeyong's attention back to him, but the leader’s eyes never left your figure.

“Y/N, are you sure of this?” Taeyong leaned forward with his eyes narrowed angrily.

“Jeno. The pictures.” You motioned for the black-haired boy to come closer and hand them to Taeyong.

When the leader’s eyes met with the pictures on his hands, he wanted to throw up. By his expression, you could tell there were more pictures than you acknowledged. Your anger was undescribable at that point, you were on the edge.  

“He blackmailed her with these. And I caught him trying to take off his shitty pants next to her.” You stared disgustedly at Leon who still had his belt falling off of his pants. 

“Taeyong, don’t believe her, she’s-” “Don’t you dare to say my name.” Taeyong cut off Leon with a crisp voice, before handing the pictures back to Jeno with his eyes fuming. “Burn them. I don’t want to see those pictures ever again.”

“You gotta be fucking kidding me! This is clearly not true!” Leon hit the floor with his closed fists, making you want to laugh at his liar ass. 

“Then why the fuck those pictures were in your room?!” You hollered, hitting his head once again with your gun. “You did this shit to family.” Yuta shook his head with disgust on his eyes. 

You stared at Taeyong once again, silently asking for permission to go on, receiving a positive nod from the leader. 

“LISTEN THE FUCK UP, YOU IDIOTS!” You yelled as you aggressively kicked Leon's body to the ground a few meters away from you, causing all the juniors to stare at you wide-eyed at the sight of their teacher being hostile. “This is the first and the last time I’m ever going to say this. No matter where I am, no matter what I'm doing, I will maintain contact and regularly visit every single girl in this base. And if it ever comes to my ear that any of you fucking men has bothered them... this will happen.” You shot Leon's left leg, causing the man's scream to resound on your ears. “YOU BETTER LEARN HOW TO TREAT WOMEN RIGHT! I don't fucking care who you know inside the mafia, I don't fucking care if you're a junior or a senior, I don’t fucking care if you have a relationship with them or not, I will end you. For good.” You shot his another leg, making more screams from pain to leave his annoying lips. 

“You fucking whore...” Leon murmured, spitting blood as he uselessly attempted to staunch his wounds. 

In two seconds, Yuta came running from his spot next to Taeyong just to hit a kick right onto Leon’s wounds, he was agonizing in pain.

“I’m sorry, what were you saying about my soon-to-be wife? I was too far, I couldn’t hear you right.” Yuta forces his foot down, making more and more blood stain the floor. 

When you checked on your juniors’ faces, a lot of them looked terrified, and as much as part of you lowkey wanted to murder each man standing on that place, you knew not all of them were like that douchebag. 

“Mark.” You called for the attention of the black-haired boy, pointing at the kids with your head, motioning for him to call the shots. 

“You’re dismissed.” Mark announced, clapping both of his hands to get everyone’s attention. It didn’t take long until only the older members stayed behind.

“Would you like to do the honors, babe?” Yuta asked, turning his head to see you looking down with your eyes closed. Your hands were trembling as you could barely hold your gun anymore. 

You had been raped before. Something that only you, Yuta, and the closest members knew. Whatever you had seen in that room, it triggered your past. 

“You have no idea of the damage you’ve made. Even if I kill you right now, you still won’t be any close of feeling what she’s feeling.” You stated on the edge of shedding tears, but still not daring to let a single tear drop off of your face, you were too stubborn for that. “I won’t fucking give you the pleasure of being killed by me. But the only reason why I won’t it’s because there is someone who needs my attention more than you.” You dropped your gun on the floor, with the loud sound of the steel attracting everybody’s attention back to you. 

“Yuta, get her out of here.” Mark stated, receiving a positive nod from the older man who quickly went to your side, guiding you out of there as you silently sobbed, feeling taken and swallowed by the bad memories that took your mind. 

#admin💫 #this was the first extremely strong themed piece ive written #im somehow not too comfortable about this #but here we go #nct mafia au #nct dream mafia au #nct mafia #nct dream mafia #nct yuta nakamoto #yuta nakamoto #nct angst hours #nct oneshot #nct imagine #yuta angst #yuta angst hours #yuta blurbs #yuta oneshot #nct 127 yuta #nct yuta #yuta x reader #yuta x you #yuta timestamps

[pxedpiper]

Horizon (18)

Plot Summary: Once a princess of a kingdom you loathed to call yours, you have somehow found yourself aboard a pirate ship, stuck on the ocean waves. Now you try to figure out how to escape them, but as you continue to journey with them, you find yourself wondering if you even want to.

Pairings: Ateez x Reader (Kim Hongjoong x Reader)

Content Warnings: Mentions of death and sexual implications throughout the fic, nothing ever specified in detail

Previous / Masterlist / Next

A/N: Me: yeah shouldn’t take too long to update ! Me, almost two months later; ,,,,, ANYWAY I KNOW IT’S BEEN A HOT MINUTE but there’s been a lot going on and writing hasn’t exactly been the biggest thing on my mind (plus nct 2020 happened and that’s all i’ve been able to think about) BUT i am back and plan on writing the next chapter as soon as possible so as to not take forever again!! If you’re still here, I hope you enjoy this chapter uwu

After the three of you had come up with a plan, all there was left to do was wait until morning when Reeves would let you out. As such, you had to find ways to entertain yourselves while waiting, so you took to filling San and Wooyoung in on what troubles you caused Reeves while they were trapped in the cell. Needless to say, Wooyoung most definitely approved.

“You dumped a glass of wine on his shirt?!” He asked, cackling as he imagined it in his mind, “How the hell did you manage to do that without him losing it?”

“He wanted to, no doubt,” You scoffed, “But he wouldn’t dare harm the princess, I suppose, so nothing wrong with using that to my advantage.”

“Still, that’s brilliant,” Wooyoung grinned, “You really have been giving him hell, haven’t you? We’ve taught you well.”

“How has he only just snapped at you tonight?” San brought up, amusement in his own voice, “I’d have expect him to lose it from the very beginning, the fact he made it this long is a miracle.”

“Well, I suppose slapping him was probably his breaking point,” You answered, thinking back to when he’d finally broken, “He must not like it when someone doesn’t obey his command, it’s almost like he forgot I’m in a higher position than him.”

“That’s because while on this ship, no one is,” Wooyoung snorted, “He thinks he’s king of the world, and I’m willing to bet that’s why he really wants to marry you; if he marries you, he’s in line for the throne.”

You shook your head, “No, it was pretty clear to me that my brother would be the one in charge, I’d never be in power. He is the older of the two of us, after all, it makes sense.”

“But what if something were to happen to your brother?” The gunner raised an eyebrow, “Would the power return to your parents in that case? What if something happens to them as well? Reeves isn’t above murder to get what he wants, and I doubt being royalty would be enough to stop him if the throne is what he wanted.” Wooyoung’s words sunk into your head as your mind whirled with the information given. As much as you hated your family, you would never wish death upon them, that wasn’t right- especially not to a man like Reeves. Even your brother, as terrible as he was, was still close to you once. The thought of him being murdered for a crown… Not to mention the thought of Reeves as a king was enough to make you shiver with fear.

You swallowed, taking a deep breath, “We need to do whatever we can to make sure that this ship never makes it to the kingdom. The one thing that cannot happen is Reeves becoming king, if that happens, no one wins.”

“Don’t have to tell us twice,” San scoffed, “We’ll have no issue giving that bastard exactly what he deserves. We just have to wait for Hongjoong and stick to Wooyoung’s plan. We’ll be out of here in no time.”

“Right,” You nodded, giving them a small smile, “It’s what Hongjoong does best, after all- save people. We’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“It’s cure how much praise you have for him,” Wooyoung smiled, seeming genuine for once instead of teasing, “A far cry from how you felt about him at first. He’s got a natural charm to him, one you can’t just help but like.”

“Yeah, that definitely sounds like him,” You replied, your smile turning fonder as you looked down, thinking of your captain before frowning, “I promised him I would never leave, and so soon after I already broke that promise. I hated the look on his face, how hurt he looked…”

“He knows you well enough by now to know you would’ve made that choice no matter what,” Wooyoung stated firmly, holding onto your shoulders, “He might not like it, but he probably knew that if you made the choice to let us die, it wouldn’t be like you. He’d rather have you as you are than someone you aren’t. Besides, he’s the same way; he would’ve given himself up for us in a heartbeat. You just managed to beat him to the punch.” Pausing a bit, he took a good look at your face before speaking carefully, “(Y/N), by chance, is the reason why you’re so distraught over breaking your promise to him because you… care about him?”

You looked up, confused, “Of course I care about him, I care about all of you, I thought I made that clear already?”

“No, that isn’t what I meant,” Wooyoung shook his head, “I meant like, in a different way than you do the rest of us-!”

“Are you in love with him?” San cut Wooyoung off, not wanting to see him try to find the right way to word things when he could just outright tell you. Wooyoung pouted at being interrupted, but as usual, was ignored.

You gaped at them, “W-What? In love with him?”

“You have to admit that you’re closer to him than the rest of us,” San pointed out, “There’s just this… connection you have with him that we don’t have with you. The others as well, they’ve all noticed it.”

“That’s just because we’ve met before!” You tried to explain, “I-I mean, neither of us remembers it, but Maddox said we have!”

“It’s more than that though,” Wooyoung pressed, “When Hongjoong was mad at you, you were practically like a kicked puppy, looking forlorn around the ship until he forgave you. Or how you immediately jumped in to fight Sweet the minute you saw Hongjoong in trouble, even though you were ridiculously outclassed-!”

“Hey, I held my own!” You argued, but were quickly ignored.

“That’s not to mention the many moments the two of you have had that you think we don’t know about-!” San continued before you cut him off again.

“Alright, that’s enough!” You almost shouted, feeling your face heat up with embarrassment, “Listen, I just… I’ve never thought about it before, and I haven’t exactly had much experience in feeling… love.” Even the word felt foreign to your tongue. “How am I supposed to know what I’m feeling is love if I’ve never felt it before?”

“Do you at least know if what you feel for him is stronger than what you feel for us?” San asked, looking at you with a soft, yet curious look on his face.

You sighed, “I don’t know, with you all, I feel like I finally have a proper family, like there won’t be any other people I’d ever be closer to. Literally, you’re the most important people in my life, that’s why I gave myself up for you.”

“And Hongjoong?” Wooyoung raised his eyebrow.

“Hongjoong… It’s a bit hard to describe,” You spoke slowly, trying to sort through your thoughts carefully, “It’s like… I’m instantly comforted whenever he’s nearby, he always knows exactly what to say. With him around, I feel like I can do anything, no matter how impossible it seems to be. He’s just so, so important to me, I don’t even know how to put it into words… I don’t really understand it myself, but I know that anything he’d ask of me, I’d do it, no questions asked.” You looked up at them, looking for answers, “Does that sound like love to you?”

“I think,” San said after a moment of silence, “That if that isn’t a description of love, I don’t know what is. But now isn’t the time to fret over things like that, we’ve got a long day ahead of us tomorrow. We’d better rest up now, we’ll be needing our energy.” You nodded, laying down on the floor of the cell, turning your back to them as you were left alone to your thoughts. Do I love Hongjoong? You thought to yourself, thinking back on every moment you’d shared with your captain. However, you weren’t able to come up with a good conclusion, and in the end you simply fell asleep, leaving your own question unanswered.

You supposed you’d know when you saw him again.

                                                           ~

“Quickly, follow me!” A young child’s voice rang out, running down a crowded alley, holding on tightly to the hand of a boy, just as young as she was, “We can’t let them catch us!”

“---, You’re going to get us in trouble!” Another voice, also a boy, sounded out from behind them, seemingly annoyed, “What are you thinking?!” For whatever reason, the name he had spoken was unintelligible.

“How am I supposed to just leave him, he’s all bloody!” The child, a girl, argued. “They would’ve beaten him until he died! He’s not that much younger than you, you know!”

“I-!” Using that argument, the other boy couldn’t seem to disagree, “Alright, fine! But when Mother and Father find out, it’ll be on your head!”

“That’s fine with me, now let’s go!” It was then the girl turned to the original boy, giving him a smile, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you make it somewhere safe, alright? Just trust me. What’s your name?”

“My name is…”

                                                             ~

Hongjoong gasped, waking up from the odd dream as he grasped onto his head, which was pounding as he struggled to remember the details. Why had that scene seemed so familiar?

“What in the hell was that?” He whispered to himself, before shaking it off and getting out of bed, “Never mind that. There are far more important things to be worrying about today other than a silly little dream.”

                                                            ~

“Well?” Reeves looked at you expectantly, “Has your little adventure in the dungeon taught you your lesson?”

Playing the part of a perfectly obedient princess, you looked up at him with a grateful smile, “Oh, yes, I have. I apologize for my earlier behavior, I promise you I’ve learned. I won’t ever disobey you ever again, I swear on my title.”

Clearly pleased with your ‘apology’, Reeves smiled smugly, responding with, “Yes, well, I’m nothing if not merciful. I accept your apology, and you’re welcome to come back on deck if you so wish.” You almost gagged at hearing him call himself merciful, but held it in as to not raise suspicion. Wooyoung however, was not as successful, as you could hear a snort coming from his direction, but luckily Reeves didn’t pay it any mind.

“Yes, I would like to go back to my room now,” You kept up your act, “And to properly show my remorse, I’d like to join you for breakfast, if you wouldn’t mind. As a repayment for refusing your dinner invitation last night.”

Thinking over it a bit, he nodded, “Very well. I’ll allow you to your room to properly freshen up; no doubt staying a night with these heathens would make you feel as filthy as they are. Be sure to head straight to my quarters have your done, however; my men will be watching you to make sure.”

“Of course,” You agreed, keeping the smile on your face until you walked off to your room, letting it drop as soon as you were out of sight into a smirk. Back in the cell, hidden away from Reeves’s view, San and Wooyoung shared matching smirks of their own. So far, you had Reeves right where you wanted him.

Everything was going according to plan.

                                                          ~

“I must say, it is rather surprising how quickly it took you to come around,” Reeves said, his words slurring slightly due to the amount of wine he had consumed so far, “I’d have thought it’d take weeks in the dungeon to break you, the way you were acting, one night seemed like wishful thinking!”

“Yes, well,” You tried your best to let your smile not seem like a grimace, “It didn’t take long for me to realize I’m meant to be safe in a palace, not stuck on some uncomfortable ship.” You refilled his glass, making it seem as natural as possible so as to not give away just how much you had been giving him. The plan was simple: get him drunk enough to knock him out, grab the keys and free San and Wooyoung, take control of the ship, and then wait for Hongjoong. Luckily for you, as it seemed Reeves was a lightweight, having gotten tipsy at only one glass of wine. Now he was on his fourth while you were still on your first, taking small sips so as to not impact your own judgement. Thankfully, he hadn’t noticed yet, and at this point you doubted he would.

“Quite right. It’s a shame it took a night in the dungeon for you to realize that, but what your parents don’t know won’t hurt them. There’s no need to mention anything that happened while on this ship, now is there, Your Highness?” He looked at you expectantly, clearly expecting you to agree, an underlying threat in his eyes.

Unafraid, you smiled and nodded, “Of course. What happens here stays solely between us, Admiral. My parents will never hear a word of it.”

“Good, good. Wouldn’t be very good for me if I were to make my future in-laws angry with me before I even we’re even married,” He laughed, finding his own joke hilarious, though it really wasn’t that funny.

Still though, you giggled to appease him, “Yes, of course. They can be so temperamental sometimes, something like this would definitely set them off. Better to avoid the topic as much as possible once we meet them.”

“Naturally. Though, I am curious,” He leaned in, narrowing his eyes at you curiously, “How is it that you were willing to give up yourself up for some lousy pirates? No doubt they mistreated you heavily while you were in their ‘care’, if you could call it that. How kind you must be, to trade your life for theirs.”

You laughed nervously, unsure as to how to answer the question, when something in the small window caught your eye. There, you could see it now; it was The Utopia, sailing at full speed! San was right, they had made it just when he said they would! You couldn’t keep up the act once you saw it; you broke out into a huge grin, confusing Reeves, which caused him to look behind him to see what you were looking at. It only took him a second to realize what it was, sobering him up, but as he turned to yell out to the crew, you held a dinner knife to his throat.

“It’s over, Reeves,” You laughed, glad to finally drop the obedient act, “Hongjoong and the others will be here any moment. Just give me the keys to San and Wooyoung’s cell, and swear you’ll leave us alone, and you’ll get to live another day. But make even a peep, and I’ll slit your throat so fast you won’t even have time to realize you’re dying.”

Scoffing, Reeves merely responded, “You’re more of a fool than I thought if you think you can defeat me so easily. Don’t forget who has the upper hand while on this ship.” Elbowing you in the side, he clearly gave up on giving you special treatment as he grabbed onto you so you couldn’t escape, yelling out, “PIRATES! PREPARE TO BATTLE!”

Quickly, you stomped on his foot and elbowed him in the face before slashing at him with the knife, freeing yourself from his hold, “It’s no dagger, but it’ll have to do. I’m afraid you’re the one who underestimated me, Reeves. I haven’t spent all these months lounging around in a cell; I’ve gotten so much stronger than you think I have.”

“We’ll have to see about that,” Reeves smirked, confident in his own abilities and your inexperience to be able to win. Quickly, he rushed at you, trying to pin you to the table in order to subdue you, but you were to quick, rolling out of the way before trying to scan him to see where the keys to the cell were; seeing a shine of silver, you found them on his belt, running at him to be able to grab them. Of course, he wasn’t about to make it that easy, and he moved out the way before grabbing you by the hair and kneeing you in the stomach, making you cough up a bit of blood as you keeled over. “Look at you, you have a knife and you still can’t compare to me, someone who is completely unarmed! You have no chance, just give up now, before I decide to treat you to what your little friends had to endure.”

“That’s what you think,” You snarled before stabbing him in the leg, using the pain as a distraction to grab the keys while you were still level with them. Standing straight up, you held them up with a grin, jingling them for a bit before running off, quickly making your way to the dungeon as you heard him shout, “After her!”

Now being chased by Reeves men, you hurried as quickly as you could to the dungeon, quickly finding the right cell and moving to unlock it, “Quick, we have to hurry! I wasn’t able to knock Reeves out and now the whole ship’s gearing up for battle!”

“What happened?” San questioned as you tried to find the right key, “What’s going on?”

“Hongjoong’s made it,” You grinned up at him, finally managing to unlock the door, “Come on now, let’s go!” The three of you made your way up to the deck, trying to make it to the weapons so you’d be able to fight your way out, but unfortunately, there were far too many people for just the three of you. Before you knew it, you found yourself back to back with San and Wooyoung, surrounded by Reeves crew as they were armed and ready for a fight.

“Don’t forget, Your Highness,” Reeves spoke up, revealing himself from within the crowd, “I tried to show you mercy, but you refused to give in. What happens next is on your head, not mine.”

Just then, a familiar voice rang out, “That’s because after what happens next, your head won’t even be attached to your body, you rotten, festering, disgusting bilge rat!”

Laughing out of sheer relief, you grinned, “Hongjoong!”

There, standing on the banister of the ship, was your beloved captain, the Pirate King himself.

And he looked more determined than you ever saw him before.

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