#jyot writes

[opheliaweeps]

martin k blackwood u will forever be famous

(from mag 197: connected)

#martin blackwood #martin was such a girlboss and then he got tied up asdfghjkla #i love this man he’s my little meow meow #the transcripts are fucking hilarious #strip away the horrors and tma is really just a comedy #the magnus archives #jyot writes #tma #the magnus archives season 5 #tma season 5 #mag 197 #tma spoilers #jonmartin

[bobkirat]

Letters to my Dad: What do you do on a daily basis? #1

I buy The Big Issue and read about Street Cat Bob play Gurbani and pour water into my glass every so often as if it were whisky without the intention of drinking it with this connotation ignore needs and attend to wants ignore thoughts and waste breaths use my legs to walk far and keep going remind myself to attempt completing tomorrows tasks today organise my Amrit Vela trips and continue to be absent on the register call my family and believe with full faith that that the Jyot is in me too and think about projects and ideas and possibilities arrange times and places to meet in the middle to ensure I do something out of nothing with hope of tumbling down the stairs to the feet of my Guru and beg for Their Gurmat Budhi I no longer have to pick petals one by one to ask if They Love me and lose a little self esteem each time because Their love is the breath and the blink so we tie our shoe laces and eat toasty sandwiches bow to our King in Their Home and perform Bhog to the Bhojan in our Ghar We cry at the feeling of surrendering to Their arms and the wonder in how we continue to rise out of our sins, we do learn, we do, even after the same mistakes over and over running after its tail in the tumble dryer, the mistakes are no longer feelings of failure but parachutes landing in the laps of our Grandmas, our Mothers, Our Guru Mata. Hold me, forever. Never let me reach outside of the radius of Your Saints. Please don’t allow me to punish myself. I will continue to be stupid as long as my Ardaas is as such; that I ask guru Ji to change what is perfect, what is Hukam, what is Their Kirpa, Their control, Their doing, The fulfilling of all Ardaas, above and beyond my own understanding. just keep me, forever. Dad, Thank You, for allowing me to write about you, to you, with you, thank you for these love letters Guru Gobind Singh Ji. Forgive me, thank you, love you, and maybe next time, I’ll have enough love to write to mum too.

#letters to my dad #Guru Gobind Singh Ji #Mata Sahib Kaur Ji #Amrit Vela

[opheliaweeps]

george karim I love you I hope you’re doing well I hope your research is moving along I hope lucy & lockwood aren’t being idiots in your general vicinity

#george karim appreciation post #that’s it that’s the post #jyot writes #lockwood and co #george karim #my writing #my thoughts #lockwood & co #anthony lockwood #lucy carlyle #the brown kid rep is so real #‘engineer engineer engineer weirdo’ #yeah I felt that 😭 #we love a brown kid who hyperfixates on their research & old artefacts & dead things and can also cook #also #lbr the last point will never happen but I’m just praying for george’s sanity after continued exposure to these fools #this is coming to you after five rewatches of the show

[opheliaweeps]

so I just finished reading ‘the oleander sword’ by tasha suri. I’m at work, so I finished the book, stared at my laptop for a minute, then came to the bathroom to cry and write this post (yeah, I’m in the bathroom right now. I’ve been crying for five minutes).

I’m crying because reading this book (which is book #2 of suri’s trilogy ‘the burning kingdoms’) has been… cathartic almost. the plot is high fantasy and political unrest, but the setting, the worldbuilding and careful nuances of the story are based on historical india, the country and myths and history I grew up with. somewhere inside me, the young girl who never saw a book that had a character that looked like her is sobbing in grief and gratitude and vindication, because an author like her decided to write this story. and it’s everything.

I’m crying because the relationships in this series are complicated and heartbreaking and human. siblings, friends, lovers, and the tangled webs in between - they’re so beautiful to read about. the pain of betrayal and bittersweetness of love, in a time when nations are at war and the characters are torn between their duty and their heart (an age-old story, the original tragedy). the delicate details that show the madness of corruption, the humanity in even the most twisted of villains, and the pain in hurting those you love so that they can live.

I’m crying because not only does this book speak to my desi heritage, it’s a queer story, setting a princess rebelling against her dictator-emperor of a brother and a temple-elder of a conquered nation of flowers and eldritch worship on a tumultuous path. their bond is fraught because of what they must do to serve their own countries, honour warring with the desire and love for each other in their hearts. a sapphic desi-high fantasy series - that’s something I never thought I would see.

I’m crying because the side m/m romance is pure tragedy and yet, it’s so beautiful it hurts to read. while the main heroines are separated by treachery and prophecy and gods of old, coming back to wage war for their glory, these two boys are separated by something much simpler: death. one dies (for his honour, for the men he leads, for his sister), and the other lives. the other lives to grieve and push forward, and isn’t this the oldest story? someone must always leave first, but we are never prepared, and I was not prepared for this death. because the one who lived had already lost so much, bled out for an empress he is bound to and her brother whom he loved. and he was taken away from him.

I’m crying because I love the world that has been built here, the stories woven and characters that suri has breathed life into. I’m crying because of the story, the pain, and the representation I never thought I’d see. but most of all, I’m crying for the love that this story holds, and the hurt that always follows bliss, because no good thing can ever be felt without unwanted anguish to sweeten these brief, tender moments.

#the burning kingdoms #tasha suri #jyot writes #my writing #my thoughts #my stuff #rant #the jasmine throne #the oleander sword #malini #priya #priya x malini #rao #aditya #aditya x rao #bhumika x jeevan #queer characters #indian mythology #book review #(kind of I’m mostly just sad) #lgbtqia #desi queer #local desi queer is not doing too well #long post sorry

[opheliaweeps]

hear me out:

aro-ace han sooyoung who always gives the first look at whatever new thing she’s written to the reader she saved, who will steal food and generally annoy but always stick with the protagonist she created, who lives in a big house with the group of people she’s chosen to survive with no matter which hsy she was.

aro-ace han sooyoung who runs small errands and lives life with the people she calls her family (something she never thought she’d have), who raises the kids with the others and let’s them be kids, who’s a writer who knows her dreamer and regressor better than she knows anyone in the whole world, maybe even herself (they know her in return, and never let her go).

aro-ace han sooyoung and she’s never been more loved than in this soft, golden epilogue that won’t stop writing itself, not for as long as she loves it and loves them, not for as long as her pen can hold ink and her mind can tell stories. she’s mean and greedy and selfish and sneaky, but she’s found something good, and she’s never going to let go.

#orv #han sooyoung #jyot writes #my writing #my thoughts #am I projecting? #yes #aromantic-asexual hsy is actually something that can be so personal #but fr I saw a writer with a mean streak a mile long and severe abandonment issues #and immediately went ‘aroace’ #whoops #this also somehow turned into a hsy appreciation post #your honour I love her #omniscient readers viewpoint #let them have the epilogue they deserve #aromantic #asexual #orv spoilers

[opheliaweeps]

been on a bollywood kick recently, and im rewatching k3g (as one should do at least once a year, if only for the songs), and im just marvelling at the gall rohan had to burst into ‘wah wah ramji’ to technically tell rahul & anjali that he’s family.

like, the absolute audacity of this little shit is truly the mindset I aspire to have in life.

#bollywood #jyot writes #my thoughts #my writing #kabhi khushi kabhie gham #vent #k3g #hrithik roshan #kareena kapoor #shah rukh khan #kajol #like how much of a little shit can you be? #I’m 100% sure there’s some deleted scene #of rahul just beating rohan’s ass for his smart-aleck idiocy

[opheliaweeps]

orv brainrot has fully consumed me so here’s a fic that was written entirely on my notes app, only when I was at work cause that’s the only fucking time I ever got the inspiration or motivation to finish it. this is an unedited, incoherent mess of lists akin to those therapy lists that ppl write abt what makes them happy, and kind of incorporates a hc of mine which is that even after yjh came back from space, it took a while for kdj’s body to fully heal up and for him to wake up (bcs I enjoy angst). if you decide to read it, hope you enjoy it.

(he opens his eyes, and yoo joonghyuk is holding his hand and han sooyoung is reading to him and it’s everything, everything, everything)

or:

lists of love written by a protector, by a judge, by a librarian, by an author, by a regressor, by a dreamer

or:

a series of character studies framed as lists of the activities some members of kim dokja’s company look forward to and enjoy in the peacetime with the people they love

#orv #omniscient readers viewpoint #orv spoilers #jyot writes #my writing #my thoughts #my stuff #fanfic #fanfiction #joongdok #sangsoo #kim dokja #yoo joonghyuk #han sooyoung #yoo sangah #jung heewon #lee hyunsung #kim dokja’s company #my fic #fic promo #romance #platonic love #platonic relationships #family #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #hurt/comfort #fluff

[opheliaweeps]

hi, I wrote a fic.

because aditya and rao and priya and malini and the entire world of ‘the burning kingdoms’ has me in a goddamn chokehold. so I spat out 1.4k words of sad feels for rao because he deserved better, but also I’m not practiced enough to write a fix-it. so for now, you get angst.

also: this is the first fic that I’ve written and posted online. that’s how much of a grip this series has on me, and how deeply I felt reading a story inspired by my heritage.

hope y’all like it. enjoy!

—

How pathetic he was, a war general who should be protecting his ruler after such a betrayal, to protect the woman his true name had declared to be the true sovereign. A warrior returning from a successful siege in his empress’ name, and he was here, grieving and drinking the same Parijati wine Rao had shared with him that fateful day, when they laughed about stars and religion.

#the burning kingdoms #tasha suri #jyot writes #my writing #my thoughts #my stuff #fanfic #the jasmine throne #the oleander sword #aditya x rao #aditya #rao #priya x malini #malini #priya #my fic #fic promo #queer characters #indian mythology #lgbtqia #desi queer #sad fic #angst #ao3 #ao3 fanfic

[opheliaweeps]

shout out to the older siblings of atla bcs as an older sibling myself, I get it. and I am so sorry you have to go through this.

like sokka was really just trying to keep his village and his powerful waterbending sister safe from the people who killed his mom. she’s impulsive and headstrong and radiant, and she could die for the justice she craves. he already has all this responsibility on his skinny shoulders. then a little kid (who’s apparently the avatar??) shows up and his sister decided to go gallivanting with him to save the world? and oh no this kid (sokka’s 15, anyone even slightly younger than him is a kidTM) is actually innocent and pure and is in desperate need of an older brother to keep him safe and fuck with him. and now there’s animals to take care of and a little blind earth bender who could kick his butt without hesitation. and now he has to protect all of them, despite being a non-bender. so he uses his mind and strategizes, trys to construct failsafes and plans so that they all make to the other side of the story. he also hides himself well - when he tells zuko about his mother it’s clear by the look on katara’s face that he’s never told her any of this because despite the fact that his mom was dead, her mom was dead too. and so he prioritized the grief of her relationship over his own so that she could heal. sokka was fully trying to take care of all these children with superpowers with the same dedication he tried to protect his sister with (and still does).

and zuko. oh zuko, zuko, zuko. zuko, who was so happy when azula was born. zuko, who would’ve traded anything to see his baby sister smile back when they were young and golden and would run around the gardens their mother loved so much. zuko, who loved his sister despite the poison against him that she took willingly, despite her betrayal when he met her three years after the sham justice of the fire lord’s who, despite the fact that even their own mother thought she was a monster. he refuses to hurt her, even in an agni kai where it’s clear azula aims to win, no matter the cost. and even when he is far away from azula (both physically and spiritually, because the little sister he chased in the halls of the palace no longer exists), he begins to see who his sister could have been in katara. a strong young woman, a gifted bender far more talented than he is, kind to the struggling and an absolute nuisance to her older brother. he sees the sister he could have had, and doesn’t hesitate to throw himself in front of lightning meant for her.

the devotion and energy of an older sibling is limitless, even if their patience is not. the pain caused by a sibling is unique in how personal it is, and older siblings bear that pain silently. the pain they take for their younger siblings will never hurt as much, and older siblings will take those hurts and burdens happily, if it means their baby siblings are okay. a younger sibling is almost like first child, in a sense, in that you get to see them grow into who they will be and try support them every step of the way. and the relationships between sokka & katara and zuko & azula are just so well written. I see myself and my sister in these duos, and I know that it is a universal inclination for us older siblings to love and protect and die for our baby siblings.

#atla #avatar: the last airbender #siblings #jyot writes #my writing #my thoughts #also the instinct to slap them when they’re being stupid #or insult them just because #wow I really can’t stick to one mood while writing huh #atla sokka #atla zuko #atla azula #atla katara #my stuff #vent

[opheliaweeps]

HIHIHI I NEVER KNEW WE WERE MOOTIES OMG IM SO SORRY

IM CC

I have a very important question!!!

If you were a cookie what type would you be!? 💕

HELLO HELLO HI IM JYOT!!

very important question indeed 🤔

if i were a cookie… i think id be a chocolate-chip-walnut cookie 🍪 (sweet cookie and bitter chocolate and, lemme be honest here, a lil bit nutty)

plus they’re my favourite cookies

which cookie would you be!?!

#HELLO NEW FRIEND #jyot writes #jyot’s asks

[opheliaweeps]

just got a chance to listen to the work song performance by hozier and noah kahan and i’m—

i need to inject that directly into my bloodstream, i need that to be a cover i can stream directly into my brain nonstop i am fully losing it that was so good holy shit

#aaaaah #it was so good #hozier #noah kahan #jyot writes #my thoughts #my writing #work song #im abso-fucking-lutely losing it rn #and listening to it again #for the fourth time

[opheliaweeps]

was feeling sad about life in general today, but then I saw a copy of heartstopper vol. 2 at my local superstore. y’all, I cannot describe enough how much that brightened my day. heartstopper is a series that I have followed since it’s early webcomic days, and just the reminder of the existence of such a beautifully crafted story about the intersection of queerness and growing up, written in such a way that it is light-hearted and silly and fun and genuine, was truly enough to make my day.

#heartstopper #alice oseman #osemanverse #jyot writes #queer representation #lgbtqia #my thoughts #my writing #have I told y’all how much I love heartstopper yet? #because I love it so much #such an iconic story #and lovely characters #truly a series that helped me through some very difficult times #ily alice oseman ty for heartstopper #queer ya #my baby gays

[opheliaweeps]

the bl obsession is not ending and it’s ruining my life. I thought I’d be able to obsess for a week then go cold-turkey over a weekend to get over them.

and it worked!

(for all of two days.)

((and then I watched another drama.))

(((not a good idea.)))

#all I do is watch dramas help #jyot writes #my thoughts #my writing #vent #lita #kp the series #2gether #sotus #the obsession has doubled #it has tripled #this is my life now it was nice knowing y’all #help why are all these shows so good #love in the air #kinnporche the series #2gether the series #sotus the series

[opheliaweeps]

been losing it over the rwrb trailer (going absolutely insane, I’ve listened to nothing other than ‘that’s what I want’ for the last few days) and figured now’s as good a time as any to reread this masterpiece for the nth time. and I’m going through the book and the notes I’ve made and I remembered that the biggest thing about this beautiful story, for me, was that it helped me figure out I’m, like, super not-straight.

alex’s journey in understanding himself honestly could not be more different than mine, but one thing he thinks shifted my whole worldview:

“Straight people, he thinks, probably don’t spend this much time convincing themselves they’re straight.”

I read this line, went yeah duh, and went about my day. A few weeks later, I’m staring at the ceiling with this quote running through my head on loop. and I kept thinking about the new influx of information that was being made available to me through the internet and my own growing freedom, and I realized that alex maybe had a point.

rwrb didn’t exactly help me figure out who exactly I am (the credit for that goes to aftg, but that’s a mess we’ll get into another day), but it helped me take the first step in understanding that a) I am queer, and b) there’s nothing wrong with that.

so, long story short, been a reader since rwrb was first published, I probably owe casey my first-born kid for this funny and heart-wrenchingly honest story, and I can’t wait to see alex and henry’s love story on-screen.

((seriously, I’m so excited for the movie im going to be insufferable from august 11 onward))

#jyot writes #red white and royal blue #my writing #my thoughts #my stuff #lgbtqia #queer pride #rwrb book #rwrb movie #this was one of the first openly queer books I’d ever read #after Simon vs #and honestly #I’ve reread it so many times afterward #it’s so beautiful #and the characters and amazing and flawed and true

[opheliaweeps]

my face hurts, my nose is dripping like a leaky faucet, and i’ve got a mild-grade fever. i also have a midterm today ✌️

haha

(fuck my life)

#jyot writes #pray for me y’all #it’s also a midterm for a course i hate #geotech eng can go fuck itself #personal #ramblings

[opheliaweeps]

happy international asexuality day! no matter who you are or what labels you use or if you’re still in the closet, know that I am one of you and see and love each and every one of you. I know when I found out I was acespec it was such a relief, a feeling of I’m not broken, this is who I am. i know how scary it can feel to learn about this, to suddenly learn about things like the split-attraction model and to learn that the conventional love we see on tv is not the only type of love you must ever have in this world.

I hope you all know that you are beautiful bright lives in this world, and I’m proud to be a small part of this ever-growing, always-welcoming community.

(love, your fellow aro-ace non-binary gremlin,

jyot)

#international asexuality day #asexual #ace pride #aroace #jyot writes #my writing #my stuff #my thoughts #love you all (platonically) #lgbtqia #queer pride #aromantic #transgender #nonbinary #we’re here #we’re queer