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caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma · 4 years

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Map of the Soul, Chapter One

For the @btswritingcafe‘s Map of the Soul: 7 Workshop

Author’s Note: This story pulled me into long range territory, so I had to split it into 7 chapters to make it more manageable on Tumblr. Here is the first installment of this journey through the soul. I hope you like it!

Pairings: OT7 x reader (kinda); Jungkook x reader

Series Summary: If you give a piece of yourself to everyone you love, at some point, there will be nothing left for yourself. While feeling lost and alone in your adult life, a strange box falls onto your head in your own closet, and you take an unexpected walk down memory lane wondering where everything went wrong. Was it the romances that fizzled out, the friends & loved ones you left behind, the “what could’ve been” moments, the brush with Fate that never quite connected? Could the strange map you find have the answers you are looking for? Determined to feel complete once again, you embark on a journey to reclaim the missing pieces of your soul.

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut

Word Count: 8K+

Warnings: NSFW 18+ cursing/profanity, alcohol consumption, sexual tension, one night stand, sexual content, protected sex, oral sex (female receiving)

Chapter One: There’s Always Time for Euphoria

March 15th - 5:45pm

Done.

That was the singular thought pulsating in your brain as you parked the car. The day was only halfway over and you were way past the breaking point of your own sanity.

From the moment you’d stepped out of bed and into your urine soaked house slippers, you should’ve known that the day was going to be beyond disastrous. Even as you washed them in the tub and left them hanging to dry, you just knew the rest of the day would be a downhill slide.

You didn’t know why your dog Oberyn was upset, but apparently, it was enough to prompt his indiscretion on your only pair of house slippers. He’d even had the audacity to sit in his bed and glare at you while you hurled your anger and frustration at him as you got dressed for your day.

I don’t know what crawled up his butt this morning, but I hope he’s in a better mood. I’m in no condition to deal with his bullshit right now.

After almost tripping up the stairs to your apartment entrance and dropping your keys into the bushes on the way up, you finally made it across the threshold. You quickly changed out your work shoes for sneakers and got Oberyn ready for his walk. Fifteen minutes later, you were cleaning the bottom of your shoe after a happy little accident found your foot at the dog park. Oberyn seemed to smirk at your misfortune, but you couldn’t even muster the energy to care.

Once you both returned to the apartment, you put his harness and leash away and reached over to grab his after-walk treats. You noticed one was already out on top of the container and the morning’s havoc immediately made sense. Oberyn wagged his tail and waited patiently for his treats and a well deserved apology.

“I’m sorry, buddy,” you sighed, handing him both treats. “I didn’t realize I’d forgotten to give this to you.”

He accepted your apology and head pats, then happily grabbed both snacks and ran to eat them on his bed. You shook your head and smiled at the easily appeased creature.

If only everything worked like that. You get something you were missing and it suddenly solves all your problems. The Universe finally makes sense again. What a life!

You quickly changed into comfy clothes and collapsed unceremoniously onto the couch. The random assortment of unfortunate events of the day replayed like a blooper reel in your mind and you groaned at the stacks of embarrassment and humiliation you’d endured.

You’d locked yourself out of your office and the university maintenance guy took forever to unlock it for you, which made you late to your first class. You had to dismiss the class and reschedule the quiz since all the copies were sitting on your desk in your locked office.

You’d torn your favorite black slacks and had to patch them with bright green thread from your emergency sewing kit.

You’d sustained several injuries including three paper cuts, a stubbed toe, your knee knocking the underside of a table, and a staple stabbing underneath your fingernail.

You’d spilled coffee down the front of your blouse when a fly unexpectedly dove into your face.

You’d even lost one of your favorite earrings while taking off your scarf outside the Humanities building. It was now lost among the clumps of mud by the front door.

Why does the Universe hate me so much today?

RIIIIINNGGG!!

You swiveled your head over to your cell phone screeching at you from the side table. The comical picture of your mother flashing on the screen drew a groan of exasperation from your throat.

I can’t deal with her right now.

The phone ceased its machinations and you turned into the couch seeking an escape from the tragedies of the day.

RIIIIINNGGG!!

“Argh!” You wailed. “What could she possibly need from me right now?!”

After taking a deep breath, you picked up the offending device and swiped the screen to answer the call.

“Hello, mother,” you grumbled. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Oh, sweetheart,” she sighed. “Don’t talk to your mother like that. It’s undignified.”

“I apologize,” you corrected with fake cheerfulness. “Hi, Mommy! I missed the sound of your voice. How was your day?”

“We really need to work on your phone etiquette, honey,” your mother groaned. “You’ll never meet anyone with that attitude.”

“Yes, mother,” you replied snarkily. “My goal in life is to trap someone in my love nest with only my wit and wisdom as weapons.”

“Anyway,” she drawled. “The reason I’m calling is because I’m looking for something. Do you remember that stole you wore for your college graduation? The one your grandmother made?”

“Yeah, I remember,” you responded. “It has all the graduate names from our family embroidered on it. It’s in my memory box in the closet. Why?”

“Your cousin Sana is graduating from college in about a week,” she announced happily. “I need that stole so we can get it embroidered before the graduation ceremony. Can you overnight it to me, darling?”

You leaned back on the couch and released a sigh of defeat.

Of course other people are doing great things in their life. I’m the only dumbass stuck in a rut right now.

“I’ll dig it out of the closet and send it to you tomorrow,” you replied. “Let me know when and where the graduation will be so I can make plans to head down.”

“Splendid,” your mom chirped. “I’m sure everyone will be happy to see you. Get some rest, honey. You sound tired. Love you!”

Without giving you a chance to respond, your mom ended the call. You looked at the screen and rolled your eyes.

She gets what she needs and then she’s gone. Typical.

Knowing you would probably forget to do it later, you wandered over to your spare closet, grabbing the stepladder along the way.

Might as well get this over with.

You climbed up on the ladder and pulled on the chain for the light above your head. You couldn’t stifle the groan from escaping when you spied the piles of plastic containers and boxes on the upper shelf.

Why is my life such a hot mess?

You started pulling down boxes one by one to avoid an accidental avalanche. The collection of dust and crumpled cardboard left you sneezing and gagging on stuffy air and a faint smell of mothballs.

After clearing your throat and taking a sip of water, you looked up and spotted the box you’d been looking for.

Just one more box to move.

The box in question had shifted slightly and was wedged against the ceiling at an odd angle. Try as you might, you couldn’t get it to budge. With a huff of annoyance, you balanced yourself on the top of the stepladder and pushed up to get closer to the box. You heaved your palms against the side of the box and it gave away before you could regain your balance. You crashed into an uncomfortable heap on the floor and whined loudly as you felt the painful throb on your ankle.

After a quick assessment, you discover no other injuries except for a slightly swollen ankle and a sizable knot on the top of your head.

What the hell hit my head?

You glanced around and saw three different boxes scattered around you. One was the memory box you’d been trying to get, one was the previously wedged prisoner box, and the other was completely foreign. You stood up and walked over to lift it from among the clatter on the floor.

This isn’t mine. Is it?

You brushed off the subtle cobwebs and dust and revealed a collection of stickers and decals that were strikingly familiar. Most depicted the many fandoms you followed, but others appeared to be nothing more than artfully scribbled words in elegant script.

Time. Destiny. Passion. Happiness. Faith. Friendship. Love.

You turned the box over in your hands and furrowed your brows quizzically. You didn’t remember ever seeing the box before and it certainly wasn’t there when you originally packed the closet full of your crap.

A loud text message tone pulled you out of your reverie and you abandoned the box on the counter in search of your phone.

Ah yes, we have to keep the tradition going.

Your grandmother and her sentimentality were time consuming, but also adorable. She wanted to stress the importance of education in the family, but also find a way to keep everyone connected from generation to generation. It was her insistence that solidified this current graduation tradition.

You opened the memory box and lifted the neatly folded stole in its plastic bag and the small scrapbook decorated with graduation memorabilia. You took a moment to reminisce about your prior accomplishments and then placed the items on the counter. After cleaning up the mess on the floor and carefully returning everything to the closet, you limped over to the kitchen and poured yourself another glass of water.

On your third gulp, your eyes landed on the mysterious box again. It was no bigger than a shoe box, but was definitely sturdier. Curiosity got the better of you and you inspected it a little more closely.

There was a tarnished metal knob that needed to be turned in order to lift the lid. The glossy surface appeared to be varnished or glazed so that the stickers and words would remain fixed. There was no lock, so you decided to open it.

You didn’t know what to expect when you opened the lid, but it certainly wasn’t what you found.

Laying on top of a folded piece of paper were seven items: a rubber banana keychain, a cute little hamburger toy, a metallic purple kazoo, a gold sequined bow tie on an elastic band, a red beanie dragon plush, a spoon with a floral design, and a thin metal disc with an assortment of holes. You tentatively inspected each item and placed it on the counter.

What the hell is all this?

You lifted the folded paper out of the box and looked underneath. All that was left at the bottom of the box was a quote etched into the surface.

My life and yours are an equal sign, So my remedy is your remedy.

You read the phrase over a few times and couldn’t make sense of it. It seemed familiar, but you couldn’t place it. You turned the folded paper over in your hands a few times and then unfolded it. It’s a fairly large sheet and it resembled parchment. At first glance, the image on the paper looked like an intricate abstract drawing. There were large lines of ink brushed across in elaborate swirls resembling a disjointed heart.

The swirling lines were connected by smudges of charcoal across from blocks of text in colorful ink. There were seven smudges with lines of text to the left of each smudge. You couldn’t make sense of it, but there did seem to be some type of pattern implied. The lines flowed from left to right increasing in width and each successive line grew wider as it progressed to the other side of the page.

You studied the lightest portion of the drawing and read the lines of text next to this first smudge.

Were you wandering around Looking for an erased dream too? It’s different from the typical definition of destiny. Your pained eyes are looking at the same place as me. Won't you please stay in dreams?

The words were certainly poetic, but you didn’t understand their significance. You glanced at the other phrases and they seemed just as cryptic.

What the hell am I looking at? Why would something like this be in my closet?

You were too exhausted to think too much on it, so you shrugged your shoulders and folded the paper and placed it back in the box. You left everything else on the counter and decided that it was time for a shower and then bedtime. As you lay in bed, you exhaled heavily and focused on the hope that tomorrow would be better than today.

March 17th - St. Patrick’s Day - 4:27pm

Oh no...please don’t let her find me in here.

“Ok, no arguments,” Gina chirped in excitement as she pranced through your office door. “It’s time for green beer and dancing!”

Damn, she’s quick!

You lowered your head to your desk and groaned out slightly and silently scolded yourself for not leaving the office earlier to avoid her completely. It was much easier to avoid Gina if you were already out of the office, but once she had you cornered, it was almost impossible to tell her no. She was your favorite faculty member and the only person at work that you would consider hanging out with outside of the university.

Gina had been trying to get you to go out for months, and after a long week of midterm exams, you couldn’t find the energy to counter her offer. Besides, you were now, technically, on Spring Break.

“Come on, girl,” she pleaded. “You know I’m leaving for Acapulco the day after tomorrow with my sisters. If I can get you out of your stuffy apartment and into an Irish bar for a little St. Patty’s Day fun, then I can truly enjoy my vacation. You know how I worry about my work-bestie when I’m not around.”

She pouted at you and batted her long eyelashes, and you almost cackled at her adorable puppy dog look. You half expected her to start whining at you like Oberyn would when he wanted something. Maybe that image in your head that weakened your resolve against her proposal for a St. Patrick’s Day outing.

“Fine,” you acquiesced. “Where are we going, Gina?”

She squealed in excitement and twirled around with glee. You tried to resist the growing enthusiasm, but you quickly gave in with a sigh and a smile.

“Fine. Let me finish up here and we can go to my apartment,” you suggested. “I guess I’ll need you to help me pick out an outfit for tonight.”

Gina nodded happily and ran upstairs to collect her things. Once you finished packing everything away, she was hopping around in anticipation at your office door. Her bunny antics made you giggle.

Such funny friends I have.

March 17th - St. Patrick’s Day - 10:37pm

After a quick dinner of sushi, you were pushing your way through the crowded Irish bar back to the booth where Gina was entertaining her latest acquisition. The guy was certainly handsome, but he only had eyes for Gina. You had another set of drinks for the two of you, but upon discovering the entwined couple making out in the booth, you decided to retreat to give them some privacy.

Typical. She invites me out and then she ditches me for a pretty face.

You wandered back toward the bar and gazed at the writhing mass of bodies under the flashing lights on the dance floor. Desperate to lose yourself in the moment, you downed the two drinks and relished the flavor of Guiness and Bailey’s on your tongue. If Gina was going to have fun, then so were you. You motioned the bartender over and ordered a Jameson & Ginger Ale.

“A whiskey girl, huh?” exclaimed a sultry voice behind you. “Much better than those Appletini chicks.”

Ah, yes, the pick up line. At least his voice is sexy. Let’s hope the rest of him matches.

You couldn’t decide whether to be amused or annoyed, so you decided to let his face make the decision for you. You turned around prepared to give him your best smirk, but lost your nerve once you saw who it was.

“Jungkook?” you replied in squeak. “What are you doing here?!”

Pure amusement filled his doe eyes and he huffed out a laugh. You were floored that your secret hopes of your mystery man being handsome were completely dashed. In fact, he didn’t just have a sexy voice, he was also drop dead gorgeous. You hadn’t seen Jeon Jungkook in almost 7 years, and he hadn’t aged a day. Back when you were both still working on your undergraduate degrees, you’d been his writing tutor on campus, spending countless hours pouring over research papers and essays that needed serious revision and editing.

So many late nights spent at each other’s apartments, so many long hours in the private study rooms, so many casual touches, missed opportunities, awkward moments, and those long nights alone in your bed where you wished his strong arms were holding you. There was no denying the sexual tension you’d felt back then, and there was certainly no denying it now.

Now, here he was leaning on the bar in his billowy shirt and dark ripped jeans looking like some kind of Greek god holding a glass of bourbon. You quickly cleared the inebriation out of your brain and tried to appear sober and sane while you smoothed out your ruffled hair.

“So,” Jungkook smirked while pulling you closer. “I’m guessing you weren’t expecting to see me here, huh?”

“Ummm, no,” you admitted sheepishly. “I didn’t even know you were back in town. I haven’t seen you in years. What are you doing here?”

“I just took a job here,” Jungkook stated simply. “Just hanging out with my new coworkers for the night. I saw you and thought I’d say hi, but I wasn’t expecting you to look so enticing though. You’re not here with your boyfriend or husband, are you?”

“Is that your subtle way of asking if I’m still single?” you popped your eyebrow at him. “And enticing, really? Still trying to pick me up, Kookie?”

He smiled a bright bunny grin at his old nickname. You were the only one who would ever call him that and he would never admit just how much he loved it.

“Oh, did you want me to try?,” he continued while reaching up to run his hands up and down your arms. “Hmmmm, where should I begin, babygirl?”

He pulled his lip between his lips and shot you a smoldering look while flipping his hair slightly. You tried to look disinterested, but you lost your composure when he reached up to push a lock up hair behind your ear. Your breath caught in your throat as he moved in between your legs.

“I mean it, you know?” Jungkook insisted while locking eyes with you. “You still look incredible.”

The bartender returned with your drink at that moment. Thankful for a little distraction, you lifted the glass of liquid courage to your lips. You swallowed a large gulp of swirling heady sweetness and smiled at Jungkook. He was watching you with stars in his eyes and you were enjoying every minute of it.

“So what are you doing these days, Kookie?” you asked, trying to shift his gaze elsewhere. “Are you still playing with your camera and crayons?”

Jungkook laughed and rolled his eyes at your insinuation. As an art major, Jungkook dabbled in several mediums including painting, sculpture, photography, graphic design, and drawing. The boy was insanely talented, so you were actually curious about where he’d ended up career-wise.

“I just took a job at an advertising agency,” he replied with a cocked eyebrow. “And no, I’m not playing with crayons, smartass. I’m their new Assistant Art Director, so I’m mostly working on graphic designs and managing their photography department.”

“Look at you,” you grinned. “Little Kookie all grown up and making big bucks as an actual adult.”

“I was always an adult,” he corrected. “Someone just always chose to treat me like a little kid.”

“Not always,” you shot back. “It’s not my fault you had a tendency to act like an idiot teenager sometimes.”

“Fair point,” he conceded. “But we all have to grow up sometimes, right? Except you, I guess. Looking at you, I could never guess that so much time has passed since I last saw you. You honestly look amazing.”

He leaned in and ran his nose along your neck up to your ear, inhaling deeply as he grazed your skin. He hummed happily as the intoxicating scent of your perfume hit his nostrils.

“You smell amazing too,” he sighed against your ear. “I bet you haven’t thought about me once since I last saw you.”

“Well, that’s a lie,” you smirked. “I’ve thought about you quite a lot actually. You, sir, are one of my big regrets from college.”

“Oh yeah?” Jungkook chuckled lightly while nipping at your earlobe. “Why is that, babygirl?”

You nearly purred at his touch and you hissed lightly when you felt Jungkook’s lips attached themselves to your neck.

“Oh, you’re such a fucking tease, Kookie.” you whined. “How am I supposed to think clearly when you’re doing that?”

“What?” he mused. “I’m not doing anything you don’t want me to, am I?”

You pushed on his chest slightly and he pulled away just enough to rub his nose along your own. You felt his breath ghost across your face and you allowed the smell of bourbon to mix in with his fresh scent.

“Kookie,” you sighed. “How much have you had to drink?”

He wrinkled his brow in confusion and stepped back to look at your face, searching for some explanation for your implied accusation. You weren’t trying to sound like you were chastising him for drinking, but you couldn’t shake the insecurity itching under your skin. It was entirely possible that Jungkook was just feeling a little tipsy from the evening and his familiarity with you was the cause of his brazen behavior. It wouldn’t be the first time, but you weren’t about to let a longtime crush be ruined because of a questionable drunken daze. Jungkook picked up on your train of thought and placed his drink on the bar.

“I hope you’re not insinuating that I’m only hitting on you because I’ve been drinking,” he scowled. “You should know better than that. I’ve been hitting on you since before I was able to buy my own alcohol, remember?”

“Yeah,” you giggled. “I remember having to sneak you into a few clubs back in the day.”

“Exactly,” he bragged. “So don’t try to make it sound like I’m just some random drunken idiot trying to get into your pants. I’m the same Jungkook who would look down your shirt or pull you into his lap in the hopes of making out with you. I mean, I’m still trying to get into your pants, but at least it’s not something new.”

“Still, huh?” you prompted after downing the rest of your drink. “Well, it’s going to take more than a little flirting to get into my pants, Kookie. You want to dance? I want to see if you still got those sexy moves, Kookie.”

He giggled and then finished his own drink with haste. He grabbed your hand to help you off the barstool and you pulled him toward the chaotic dance floor.

You shook off your previous nerves and worked your way into the pulsating mass of dancers. The music was thumping out a steady bass line and you swayed your hips back and forth to the beat. You weren’t sure if Jungkook noticed your attempt at seduction, but within moments, a pair of strong hands attached themselves to your gyrating hips. Given your vaguely inebriated state, you had no problem relinquishing a little control to your sexy suitor.

You encouraged Jungkook’s boldness by pushing your ass back into his crotch, grinding onto his growing erection. He leaned into your body and pulled you closer. His lips ghosted a kiss on your exposed shoulder and then nipped at your neck playfully. The pleased sigh that left your lips prompted a dark chuckle from him.

“So naughty,” he murmured into your ear. “If you keep on grinding onto my dick like that, I’ll have to take action, babygirl.”

You leaned your head back onto his shoulder and reached up to grip his wavy hair. He groaned softly as you tugged on the roots and his hips thrusted against your ass. You quickly calculated how long it had been since you’d had sex and decided that it was time to update your calendar.

“Oh yeah?” you taunted. “I’ll accept that challenge.”

You turned in his grasp and locked onto his lips with your own. He hesitated for a moment, but pushed back with his own lips in seconds. They were unbelievably soft and his fervent kisses ignited an inferno in your center. You decided to take it a bit further and you swiped your tongue across the seam of his lips. He moaned slightly in response and dove into your mouth with his own tongue. Once you bit down on his bottom lip, you both decided it was time to move to a more secure location.

He turned away from the crowd and pulled you behind him toward the bar. You both quickly closed out your tabs and made your way to the exit. Once you were both outside, you pounced on him and pushed him into the brick exterior, unable to contain your lust any longer. Jungkook appeared flustered by your eagerness and took a moment to gather his bearings.

“As much I would love to lose myself in this moment,” Jungkook huffed while pulling away from your hungry lips. “Maybe we should decide on a place with softer surfaces.”

You glanced at the vacant alleyway next to you and the brightly lit city street and frowned.

“Sorry,” you apologized. “Kinda forgot where I was for a second there.”

“Really?” Jungkook grinned and kissed your forehead. “You could’ve fooled me.”

“Let me call an Uber,” you volunteered. “My place isn’t too far from here.”

Once you were both in the Uber, you couldn’t stop touching and smiling at each other. The driver commented on the “happy couple,” and you didn’t have to heart to correct the old man.

Once you were both inside your apartment, Jungkook pushed you against your front door and started nipping lazily along your jaw.

Jungkook stroked his thumbs along your sides and leaned in to kiss your flushed cheeks. You sighed happily in response and ran your hands up his firm chest and rested them on his shoulders.

“Jungkook,” you began. “I didn’t think I’d ever run into you again. I haven’t seen you since my undergraduate graduation party.”

“I tried to see more of you that night,” Jungkook admitted while stroking your hair. “But someone disappeared in the middle of the party with their friend, Jimin.”

You flushed further at his words, remembering that night a little more clearly now that he’d brought it up. You and your former friend with benefits had indeed disappeared that night to have a little undergraduate graduation celebration of your own. By the time the two of you rejoined the party, Jungkook was long gone.

“Sorry about that,” you muttered. “I honestly didn’t think you’d be interested. You always had so many girls pining for you, I never thought you’d give me a second glance.”

“Are you kidding?” Jungkook scoffed. “I’ve wanted you since our first tutoring session. I could barely concentrate with you wearing that tank top and those little shorts. What kind of tutor shows up wearing something like that?”

“It was summer,” you countered. “It was over 100 degrees. What was I supposed to wear? A parka?”

You both giggled at that, and it broke the tension that was building since you recognized him. Feeling encouraged, you started lightly scratching his shoulders and chest, noting the stiff pebbles you grazed down the front of his shirt.

“So what now?” you asked. “Do we just keep reminiscing about old times until the sun comes up?”

You gently popped the top button from his shirt to reveal more of his deliciously tanned skin. Jungkook bit his lip and lifted an eyebrow suggestively.

“I think we’ve talked enough,” he grinned wickedly. “There are better ways to spend our time.”

Your eyes locked and you could almost feel the searing arousal growing between you. You gently pushed him away from you and then started walking toward your bedroom, tossing your shoes aside along the way. At the edge of the living room, you lifted your dress over your head and tossed it on the couch. Jungkook smirked and continued to unbutton his shirt while walking toward you. His taut muscles caused your thighs to clench in anticipation.

“Are you enjoying the view, baby?” Jungkook purred while looking you up and down. “I know I am.”

He unbuckled his belt and tugged at the buttons on his jeans. You stepped forward to help him, but got too caught up in touching his bare skin to be of any use. You pulled Jungkook’s lips to your own just as he leaned forward to pull his pants down. He was caught off balance, but quickly recovered after using his feet to pull the troublesome fabric from his legs.

After flinging his shirt behind him, you were both left in your underwear and no inch of exposed skin was left unexplored. Your dominant personalities were at war as you made your way down the hallway, and the aggression became tangible, especially after you practically slammed his back into the wall by your bedroom door. Jungkook squealed happily when you started climbing onto his chest and he reached down and pulled your legs up and around his waist.

Even though his hands were already busy holding you up, he still managed to slip a few fingers in between your legs from behind. The soaked fabric of your underwear pulled a sultry groan from his kiss bitten lips.

“Holy shit, baby,” he said in a breathy tone. “You’re so fucking wet already.”

You moaned softly into his ear as he trailed your arousal back and forth across your slit. He walked across the threshold of your bedroom door and sat down on the bed. You quickly pushed him on his back, but he sat back up and tried to still your frantic hands.

“Baby, baby,” he implored. “You can slow down a bit. I’m not going anywhere.”

“But,” you pouted. “You have no idea how many times I fantasized about this. I’m just excited that it’s actually happening.”

He reached up with one hand and unsnapped your bra with unbelievable precision. He smirked at your awed expression, tossed your bra to the floor, and then leaned up to kiss you sweetly.

“I feel the same way,” he confessed. “I just want to take my time with this. There’s no rush.”

Jungkook continued kissing along your jawline and proceeded to your neck. He pulled on your nipples slightly and then slipped his fingers around your waist to toy with the band of your underwear. You took a deep breath and smiled. Maybe you were a little eager, but it wasn’t often that a legit snack was delivered unto you by the Universe. The restraint was a real struggle.

Jungkook nipped at a sweet spot just below your ear and you hissed and clutched desperately at his back in response.

“Kookie,” you whined. “Don’t tease me.”

“Oh yeah?” he chuckled darkly. “I’d say you deserve a little payback for all the times you teased me, don’t you think?”

“What?” you scoffed. “When?”

Jungkook turned and tossed you onto the bed. He reached up and pulled your hands above your head and held them in place with one hand.

“Every time I saw you,” he reiterated while kissing down your chest. “Your flirty smiles, your sexy winks, your playful jokes, you sat in my lap on more than one occasion when we cuddled on the couch.”

“You never reacted to any of that,” you breathed out in a gasp. “I just assumed you wanted to be friends.”

“I didn’t want to assume anything either,” he admitted. “But I definitely wanted to be more than just friends.”

He leaned in and pulled you into another intoxicating kiss, and you leaned forward to slip your tongue into his mouth, needing to satiate your overwhelming lust. He pushed his own tongue against yours and then pulled away from your lips completely.

He smirked at your needy whine and trailed his free hand across your cheeks then down onto your breast. He leaned in to capture one nipple with his lips and stimulate the other with his fingers. You writhed in desperation, but he only hummed in response.

“Something wrong, babygirl?” He mused. “You seem a little agitated.”

“Gee,” you huffed. “I wonder why.”

Pure amusement played across Jungkook’s beautiful face as he released one nipple from his mouth with a loud popping sound. He licked the valley between your breasts and shifted his body between your legs. You could feel his thick clothed erection brushing across the top of your thighs. He leaned up to kiss your lips and lingered for a moment before releasing your hands.

“Keep your hands where they are, babygirl,” he instructed. “Don’t move them until I tell you to, ok?”

“What happens if I move them?” you challenged. “Will I get in trouble, Kookie?”

“Oh yeah,” he glared. “Big trouble.”

To send his comment further into your mind, Jungkook rubbed his girthy length gently across your clit and grinned wickedly as you moaned wantonly in response. He placed another kiss on your lips and began crawling down your torso. You released a flustered exhale and wiggled your hips beneath him in anticipation.

His hands continued to explore as he kissed a trail down your body. Jungkook paused and adjusted his position when he reached your dripping center. He nuzzled his nose into the thin fabric of your panties and gave the wet spot he found a lick.

Your hips tried to snap forward with the sensation, but Jungkook held you firmly in place. He slid your underwear down your legs and flung them on the floor with the other discarded articles of clothing. He then situated himself firmly between your legs and slid his strong arms under your thighs.

Intent on prolonging his sensual torture, Jungkook ran his tongue delicately along your juicy folds and the blew a cool stream of air onto your exposed nub. The sensation triggered a shiver to erupt across your skin, and you latched onto the pillow above you to anchor your hands in place. Before you could unleash another whine of displeasure, Jungkook dipped the tip of his tongue into your dripping center and swirled it to collect your juices. He released a satisfied hum when he swallowed and got his first real taste of you

“Oh, fuck me,” Jungkook groaned into your upper thigh. “Your pussy is delicious, baby. I may be down here for a while. You don’t mind, do you?”

“Ah,” you squeaked as he licked another stripe through your folds. “Go right ahead, Kookie. I won’t stop you.”

Jungkook nearly growled as he dove into your sopping wet slit, slurping up every drop of slick he could find. You moaned and twitched uncontrollably and he sent you into a tempest of pure pleasure. Every flick of his tongue, every bit of suction against your clit, and every grasp of Jungkook’s hands on your skin jolted your nerve endings into a full blown orgasm careening from your center and spreading all the way across your extremities. He was certainly taking his sweet time and enjoying every minute of it.

Once the climax shifted into overstimulation, you reached down and pulled on Jungkook’s hair and begged him to stop. The little bunny grin he flashed you was completely at odds with the sinful actions of his fingers in between your legs. He planted one last lingering kiss on your throbbing bundle of nerves and crawled off the bed.

You were about to protest his absence from the bed, but then he left you slack jawed when he pulled his boxer briefs off and kicked them aside. The sight of his quivering length made your mouth water, even more so when he gave it a few purposeful strokes. The swollen pink tip was already weeping with precum and you licked your lips, wondering about the taste.

“Ah, you can’t do that to me,” Jungkook blushed. “You’re looking at me like you want to eat me up.”

“Maybe I do,” you teased. “Can you blame me when you’re looking so damn tasty?”

Jungkook chuckled wickedly as he mounted the bed again and hovered over your tantalizing naked figure. He licked his lips, still tasting your essence on his tongue, and raked his eyes up and down your body.

“Are you ready for me, babygirl?” he mused. “Do you think you can take all of me?”

Glancing down at his sizable girth, you popped an eyebrow and tilted your head pensively. You reached over to your side table and opened a drawer to pull out a condom, handing it to Jungkook with a smile.

That’s a damn good question. Can I?

“I guess it’s time to find out,” you teased. “How long are you going to keep me waiting, Kookie?”

That was all the encouragement Jungkook needed to act upon his voracious hunger. He quickly rolled the condom onto his dick and leaned forward to give you a passionate kiss. He released your swollen lips and you gasped as you felt him rubbing his tip along your damp slit.

“I’ve been waiting for this for so long,” Jungkook murmured. “Just know that you’re in for a long night, baby. I’m not going to stop until we’ve made up for all that time we lost.”

With that being said, Jungkook plunged his throbbing cock into you and released a ravenous groan above you. You both remained still for a few moments and you squirmed in his hold hoping to increase the friction you craved. After the tension in Jungkook’s shoulders subsided, his hips burrowed deeper and deeper into your soaking heat. He relished the deluge of your juices dampening his thighs, the melodic moans of his name you uttered over and over again, and most of all, the profound elation of finally reaching the state of euphoria he’d been dreaming about since you were both in college.

The night raged on with your ardent love-making, and after hours of unbridled bliss, you were sprawled across Jungkook’s chest, buzzing with contentment. Both of your glistening chests heaved from exertion, but the fucked out looks on your faces didn’t reveal any hints of exhaustion.

“That was unbelievable, Kookie,” you panted. “Why didn’t we do that sooner?”

“Because we were both idiots?” Jungkook suggested. “Whatever it was, I’m glad we finally found the time to do it.”

He kissed the top of your head and smacked your ass playfully. You hissed at the contact and pursed your lips at him in a pout. He giggled at your cuteness and wrapped his arms around you.

“What was that for?” you whined. “You’re so mean, Kookie.”

“Hey,” he protested hotly. “I told you to keep your hands in place earlier, but you just had to pull on my hair. I owed you at least one good spank.”

“I think you spanked me enough tonight,” you replied cheekily. “Among other things.”

You both smiled at each other as you replayed the events of the evening in your minds. You leaned over to pull him into another lingering kiss. He chuckled and stopped you from deepening the kiss.

“We should probably clean up,” he argued. “We are a hot steaming mess right now.”

“Speak for yourself,” you shot back. “I’m not a mess.”

He lifted his eyebrows and then reached between your legs to drag his fingers across the stickiness clinging to your legs. You mewled in protest and shot him a dirty look for calling you out.

“Ok, fine,” you agreed. “I’m a mess, but so are you. How about a shower before I change the sheets?”

He nodded in agreement and helped you off the bed and into the bathroom. Your legs were still a little wobbly after so much physical activity.

It’s been a while since I put my thighs to good use.

The intimacy carried on in the shower, but neither of you had enough energy to initiate another round of passion. The most you were able to do was kiss each other lazily after helping each other clean up. After the shower, Jungkook was an absolute gentleman and helped you change your sheets.

“You don’t have to leave, you know,” you suggested. “You could just stay. It’s after 5am anyway.”

“I know,” he replied coolly while buttoning his shirt. “But I’m not really in the habit of staying the night.”

“Oh, really?” you teased while popping an eyebrow. “Then can I get you a drink before you leave?”

Jungkook smiled at your hospitality and nodded in response. You were quick to get him a glass of cold water and set it on the counter. A now fully dressed Jungkook walked over and pulled you into another kiss before grabbing the glass and taking a drink. You nuzzled against his chest and sighed. Jungkook set the glass aside, wrapped his arms around you, and kissed the top of your head sweetly.

“Hey,” he exclaimed suddenly. “Where did you find that?”

He reached over and picked up the banana keychain still sitting on your counter. You totally forgot about the small collection of random objects you found in the closet, but now that Jungkook was examining the keychain, your thoughts revisited the mysterious items once again.

“It was in a box I found in my closet,” you confirmed. “Why? Do you recognize that keychain?”

“Of course I do,” Jungkook murmured. “It’s mine, and it isn’t just a keychain, it’s a USB drive.”

He pulled the banana apart at the center and it revealed a USB connector bearing the lettering 512GB. Your jaw dropped at the sudden revelation.

“What the-” you queried. “Why would I have it?”

“Maybe I left it at your place or something?” Jungkook said. “But the point is, I looked everywhere for this thing. I have so many layouts and artwork on here, and this will be incredibly useful at my new job. You are literally saving me weeks of work with this thing.”

“You’re asking me to just give you this flash drive that I found in my apartment mixed in with my stuff?” you reasoned. “How do I know this is actually yours?”

“Because I recognized it,” Jungkook argued. “And I also knew what it was. You obviously didn’t.”

“Hmmmm,” you mused. “I don’t know. What’ll you give me in return?”

Jungkook patted himself down and reached into his pants pocket to pull out a green shamrock on a beaded necklace with the word “Lucky” emblazoned across the front. The look on his face gave off the impression that he was confused, but then it transformed into amusement. He grinned and flipped a switch on the button, causing it to erupt into a barrage of green LED lights.

“I will give you this limited edition, LED powered four leaf clover necklace,” Jungkook proposed. “It’s the perfect good luck charm, and so much better than a horseshoe or a rabbit’s foot. What do you say?”

You eyed the glowing button and burst into a giggle fit. Jungkook was presenting it to you as though it were some kind of grand prize on a game show.

“Where did you even get that?” you asked. “Do you just hide random holiday necklaces in your pants?”

“No,” Jungkook chuckled. “They gave it to me at the bar. I almost left it on the table, but I couldn’t put it down. When I saw you by the bartender, I guess I just put it in my pocket. It’s weird, I usually don’t keep stuff like this. But it’s yours, if you want it.”

“Well,” you grinned. “With a sales pitch like that, how can I resist?”

He joyfully handed you the flashy plastic bauble and pressed another delightful kiss on your lips. You set the shamrock necklace aside on the counter and wrapped your arms around Jungkook’s neck to continue pressing sweet kisses on his soft pink lips. Before things got too heated again, Jungkook pulled away and kissed your forehead. He exhaled a deep breath as you buried your face into his firm chest.

The night had been phenomenal and this thing between you and Jungkook was heating up so well. Maybe there was a possibility for more than just a one night stand? It was a risky proposal to bring up, but your history with Jungkook gave you a sliver of hope.

“So when do I get to see you again, Kookie?” you breathed out while looking up at him. “Now that you’re in town again, maybe we can see each other more often?”

“Uh, well,” Jungkook sighed nervously. “I’m not sure. I just started the job and I’m going to be pretty busy, so I’ll have to let you know.”

“Oh,” you replied while gently releasing your hold on him. “That’s fine, whatever.”

“Hey,” he began while pulling you back into his embrace. “It’s not what you’re thinking. I had an amazing time with you tonight, but I’m not sure I can give anything more than something casual. I wish I could give you more than that, but I’m not really in a good place for anything serious right now.”

You pouted slightly and nodded your head in understanding. Having been in that exact same head space before, you could understand his apprehension. There were easily five years between you and Jungkook, so it was natural that you would be at different places in your life. It would be unfair to expect more of him if he wasn’t ready for it yet.

“I understand,” you murmured knowingly. “I don’t want you to feel obligated or anything like that.”

“I’m sorry I can’t offer you more than that,” he admitted. “Believe me. If ever I’m ready for something long-term, I’m going to be looking for you.”

“If I’m still available,” you mocked him playfully. “You never know. Some other gorgeous man might snap me up before then.”

“Well,” he growled while sinking his hand into your hair. “If that’s the case, then he better be ten times better than me and willing to give you the world on a silver platter. You shouldn’t settle for anything less, babygirl. You deserve to be treated like the goddess you are.”

You rolled your eyes at him and pursed your lips. He shot you an adorable bunny smile and eagerly kissed your lips once again. He took a moment to brush his thumbs across the apples of your cheeks and then shook his head with a goofy smile.

“Ah, I better go,” he announced in a huff. “If I spend any more time here, I’ll never leave.”

“That isn’t necessarily a bad thing,” you shot back teasingly. “I’d definitely make it worth your while.”

“I know you would,” he snickered. “But I really do have a lot of work to do. I’m going to need the rest of the day to recover from tonight before I have to be at work on Monday. Someone gave me a hell of a workout.”

You winked at him and leaned up to kiss him once more before he pulled away toward the front door. You shared one last hug and kiss at the open door after exchanging phone numbers.

“Thank you again for giving this USB back to me.” he expressed with gratitude. “You have no idea how much time you’re going to save me. I’ll try to call you later this week. Maybe we can meet up and do something, if you’re not busy?”

“We’ll see,” you smirked. “I’ll let you know.”

Jungkook flicked your chin and shot you an impish grin. You watched him disappear behind the elevator doors before closing the door to your apartment. Once you were back in your kitchen, you sipped at the water you’d poured for Jungkook and looked at the scattered items on the counter. The absence of the banana keychain was noted, but the glowing shamrock was a welcome replacement. You decided to send Gina a little update before you went to bed.

You put your phone on the counter and let out a loud yawn, the evening and all of its activities finally catching up with you. The mess on the counter annoyed you, so you placed everything back in the box on top of the paper map and switched off the lights.

“I’ll take another look at this tomorrow,” you yawned. “Time for sleep.”

As you walked back to your room, you turned off all the lights and got settled into your comfy bed with fresh sheets. There was still a faint scent of Jungkook floating in the air and it calmed your senses. You started drifting off to Dreamland with visions of Jungkook prancing across your brain.

At least I can stop wondering about Jungkook and what might have been. I’d been obsessing over that for so long. Now, I can move on if I need to.

Reassuring visions danced across your brain and all of them resembled Jungkook. He kept tossing four leaf clovers at your feet, and you giggled in your sleep as he continued showering you in lucky charms.

Jungkook made a good point. Four leaf clovers were much better than other good luck charms. Your bunny boy bestowed a bounty of luck upon you, all while blessing you with a rabbit’s foot of his own.

Well maybe a few inches less than a foot, but size isn’t everything.

With a smile on your face and your heart full of possibilities, you coasted on fumes to the final mile into a deep sleep, knowing that tomorrow would be brighter without the added weight of your past insecurities pulling at your nerves.

It’s funny. I almost feel like I’ve regained something I didn’t know was missing. Maybe Oberyn is on to something after all. The Universe definitely makes more sense than it did yesterday.

That couldn’t just be a coincidence.

Could it?

Your mind continued its existential ramblings throughout the wonders of Dreamland, and in your kitchen, something inexplicable was happening. Only Oberyn was awake to witness the subtle purple glow and sparkle emanating from the counter top. It was over in a flash, but Oberyn still sniffed at the air in the kitchen trying to locate the origin of the unexplained phenomenon.

Chapter Two: Soulmates are a Forever Kind of Thing

MAP OF THE SOUL MASTERLIST

@caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma‘s MASTERLIST

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wo-wann-was-wer · 4 years

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EPISODE 5:

I'm so sad Regina got buried in the woods

these fucking comparison shots are amazing

someone just tried to text me and I low-key flipped out because I was like you need to leave me the fuck alone

What if he just took her jacket and was like this is mine bitch

Katharina looks so dope with glasses

I'm so into her being the rock of this family by the way which I was never surprised by because women have the strength of 6 million men but

we've literally never seen Charlotte and her dad interact (like for reals)

That's one of the problems of this show is that some relationships fell by the wayside and I'm not a fan of that

did Charlotte drop herself off on the stoop

That's Tannhaus baby is somewhere because they never found the body of that infant so that infant is somebody.

yeah I literally can't imagine finding something like this out I'd lose my fucking mind

"who am I?" "I don't know" wow that's a fuck of a thing

Wow Claudia from the other universe That's fucking me up

Also what if Claudia from the other universe is the fucking bitch who has been fucking with us this whole time AKA the white devil

Also when are we going to see Noah again because I need to see Elisabeth and Noah together falling in love because I stan

worried about her Please tell us what happened to her I'm concerned

This actress has to be at least partially deaf and or hard of hearing because number one her ASL is fluent and she even emotes some words right? Idk

I do not trust this other Claudia as far as I could fucking throw her

This show is like the debate between Democrats and Republicans every fucking party is trying to convince everybody else that they are the ones that's trying to save the world and both of them behind closed doors are like all right how do we fuck the people in the asshole

I can't help wondering if this wouldn't have happened if we understood the half-lives of radioactive materials

so is all of this coming back to 1986 Is that the the origin time

And then do what What are you going to do with fucking 250 radioactive barrels The fuck you talking about

The scratches on the other side of her face and I don't know why it's on the other side of her face but it's on the other side of her face and it's concerning me

does that mean something's going to go different like

Jonas is out here like why did the adults lie to me

Oh my God after three seasons he's finally realizing not to listen to other people good boy

Oh Peter and Charlotte bonded over having fucked up families

Peter's mom is dead and he didn't know who his father was

Also babies

Also the way that he embodies Peter is fucking insane

I'm so into Charlotte with this curly hair

Oh my God who is this

Elisabeth run baby girl. too late. we've gone this long without sexual assault if they touch this child I'm going to lose my damn mind

Peter is going to kill this man

Elizabeth kill him Peter kill him if Peter dies is the hands of this dude I'm going to lose my fucking mind get back from my baby get back from my fucking cinnamon roll I'm going to kill you Elizabeth stab him the back stab him the back Elizabeth your daddy has a knife at his neck NOOOO PETER NOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOO FUCK

I literally will never forgive them for killing Peter why are the dopplers the most important and most tragic family

he never did anything to anybody

Katharina please kill your abusive mother She deserves it

everybody on this show is super into bludgeoning nobody likes shoots anybody else everybody fucking bludgeons everybody

No can I watch this abusive fucking bitch is going to hit you No Don't let her kill you Don't let her kill you

Is Katharina dead why are they taking my favorite people

she doesn't even get justice for how her mom treats her it's not fair. and now Ulrich is still stuck inside the asylum

oh thank God Noah is here because I was so worried about my baby

Wait what is going on. Oh Jonas has never died before This is exciting

oh wait there's only one Jonas damnit

EPISODE 6:

Even though it's not working for everyone I do really love the 1888 look on Jonas

I did not expect that Aleksander was going to tell Bartosz about his real identity

This shit is so uncomfortable.

Ulrich needs a real stop telling the women that he's fucking to stop coming to his household

It's like the penny traveled through time GASPPPPPPP

Jonas What the fuck did you come from

all my fucking pussy friends are bothering me from finishing this show YALL GOT STUPID PROBLEMS STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AND THEN THIS WONT HAPPEN

I'm going to say this every single time he's on screen but this beard is too good

I think that bartosz may be the most scorned member of this entire group he never gets any pussy and it's so sad

I'm super over this really creepy really ugly fucking dude I want him to leave I also kind of don't believe that he's the child of Martha and Jonas

Oh I absolutely love love love them holding hands and then going back to a shot of them holding hands as kids

why are they such a good couple I really like them but I also always have

I'm not super sure I understand why they had to leave bartosz behind

I don't trust a single of these fucking adults I'm just any of them including themselves when they become adults

This is like a suicide squad. This is the weirdest collection of people What is this team. What are they doing. since when are these people are working together. omg

Oh shit a child born of both worlds takes both worlds energies to destroy it. But that's what causes the apocalypse

Well this is super fucked up

everything that's happening in this final montage sequence is bad news

all of it

why do I Stan Noah and Elisabeth so much

omg Hannah is giving birth is NOW the time

wow this is a lot

EPISODE 7:

our perspective is what makes definitive reality

I'm confused about the gravestone that says Charlotte on it

Also yes give me more Elizabeth and Noah please please please

This is absolutely crazier than any shit doc Brown ever did But he was also trying to build a time machine in the 1890s so that's fun

Oh is this how he gets all the fucking scars

My goodness what is happening What is going to happen I'm getting stressed.

There's only two episodes left I feel like they're not answering my questions I'm worried

What happened to wöller

What is silja doing here

This is bullshit she's like drawing him in

Oh that's a surprise so silja is a tiedemann

why is it always like I feel like I know what's happening and then around episode 6 or 7 I just completely lose the plot

oh wow Jonas almost straight up died but Noah saved him

‘you can't die’ points a gun at him

Oh my God you can't kill yourself because you've already grown

oop well after that birth happened I had to take about 5 minutes to pause my brain and factor that in

yo I knew Tannhaus was going to figure in fucking more than he did

Is he the one who builds the cage

does this seem like a good idea or does this seem like a bad idea

shooting yourself What do you think that feels like

everybody's on a different team there are too many teams It went from like a presidential race to a March madness bracket There's so many fucking people involved everybody's got their own goddamn plan

folks I just want to emphasize here that we have an episode and a half to tie all this up

Oh shit universe A Claudia infiltrated universe B Claudia

I love what they did with the place after the fire It looks really nice It's a different vibe but it's good

so Eve made the plans for the machine

Wait what She died.

I can't believe that Elizabeth and Charlotte have to be the ones to drop off Charlotte as an orphan

Oh noooooooooooo Jonas didn't do it!!!!

Oh my God don't make me feel sympathy for Hannah

he looks so fucked up

bye hannah we won't miss you

but also hate leaving a child without their parents

Tell us what's on the last page and tell us what happened to woller's eye

All right now we're seeing how everybody got to where they were like the first fucking time

I love this walk down memory lane it's literally just the stylized recap of the show right before the final episode which is 10/10

watch your face girl

too late

Omg what does this mean

THE FINALE:

This show is just Claudia Tiedemann Lurking: the TV show

Also the bullshit that he had to live through all of this in order to get to the end makes me really sad

yeah wait who's the fucking father of Regina

been way too sucked in

also. WE LOVE TO SEE A TIME TRAVEL TACKLE

WAS THIS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DAY IN STUTTGART

How many times are going to burn this place down

how many versions of this fucking machine do they have they're always like oh God we don't have a way here or there FUCKING LIARS

I can't believe that the thesis of this show is teenage hormones cause the apocalypse

Adam and Eve are such fucking children it's so stupid.

reunion nnnnnnnnnnn

Oh shit he fucked up your plan huh

No I don't want it to end

I wish everybody didn't cry so much everybody so sad all the time

yup what in the actual fuck is happening

yo this is fucking wild

these baby Martha and Jonas are so cute

Not sure where we're going with this folks what's happening here wrap it up shit

I'm really obsessed with this golden snitch

It's just making me so sad

oh they're becoming stardust together

this is a weird cover but I'll take it

everything is going back to normal

but without Jonas and Martha and Claudia

if they don't tell us what happened to his eye I'm gonna flip out

I CAME HERE TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO WOLLER’S EYE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Also what does this ending line mean its stressing me out

Well thats it. Three years of my life. Damn

#episodes 5-8 #dark #dark network #spoilers #dark season 3 spoilers #dark season 3

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frazzledsoul · 5 years

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So since @austennerdita2533 answered here how she ranked the Gilmore seasons along with the revival as well as her top five worst/best episodes I thought I’d rank mine

Seasons rank

Revival

(most cavernous gap in teevee history)

The revival is very flawed, of course: thematically it undercuts the entire mission of the series, and many characters do things that make absolutely zero sense. That ending is designed to make almost everyone unhappy. And of course, there are many awkward and flat-out terrible moments. But I think out of the four episodes there is a lot of good to be found in each episode and there’s no one plotline that is excruciating agony to sit through (like the Lorelai/Christopher thread of S7) and no long stretch of the characters hurting each other as much as is humanly possible (aka the long nightmare of S6). I also like that Luke and Lorelai are basically together for the entire length of it and although there are problems between them, they are by no means insurmountable. So it’s somewhere between the first five seasons and the mostly horrible last two.

Worst Five Episodes

(this got wordy, guys, look under the cut)

5. Take These Deviled Eggs. Lorelai’s behavior is so flat-out terrible at that baby shower that I made it one more week (which was the classic They Don’t Shoot Gilmores Do They!) and then quit watching for over a year. I just didn’t like her anymore and the show’s attempts to make her the victim over the Sherry/Christopher situation were making it one thousand times worse. First of all, you don’t fuck someone else’s boyfriend and then go to their baby shower if you have any decency as a human being or enough self-preservation to realize that this woman is full justified in kicking the ever loving crap out of you. If I were Sherry, the first thing I would have done is to punch Lorelai in the face (OK, I would have dumped Christopher right away and then punched both him and Lorelai in the face immediately. But that’s neither here nor there). Sherry tries to connect with Lorelai, to share a moment of how she felt isolated and alone in her pregnancy and thinks Lorelai can understand because she may have felt the same way and Lorelai’s response is to . . . go into her bathroom and DESTROY HER PROPERTY. Then she emotes all over her teenage daughter (who she is setting a terrible example for which will echo long into her daughter’s adulthood) and then both she and Rory go and trash Jess’s car for no reason.

I’m sorry, Lorelai, but you lost. You interfered in someone else’s relationship and you ended up alone as a result. You got what you deserved. Sherry may have been rubbing her pregnancy in Lorelai’s face or she may have been clueless, but you know what? I’m on her side. She was the innocent party in all of this as well as her child, but Lorelai can’t see outside her own narcissism. And of course Rory never does learn that it is wrong to get involved with someone who’s already in a relationship, because Lorelai made it clear that the other person doesn’t matter.

4. I Can’t Get Started. It’s obvious from the previous post that I think the Christopher/Lorelai situation at the end of season 2 is massively wrong and upsetting, but I just want to lay it out for a minute. First of all, it’s fucked-up to take someone else’s boyfriend as your date to a wedding (it could be innocent in context, but it’s definitely leaning towards stuff that could cause trouble). Lorelai knows that Christopher and Sherry have not broken up, that they are still living together by the time she fucks him. She does it anyway, gushes to Sookie afterwards about how cute it is that she’s doing Christopher (never mind the stupid girlfriend you’re screwing over, TEE HEE HEE) and then has a conversation with Christopher about the state of his relationship. This is cheating, plain and simple, and we’re supposed to think this is romantic. IT’S SO MESSED UP.

Lorelai parades Christopher around as her date to Sookie’s wedding. She gushes to EVERYONE SHE KNOWS about their newfound relationship. She lets Rory get excited about it. She lets her PARENTS get excited about it. The entire time she knows that Christopher has not broken up with his girlfriend yet. I actually think this is worse than the sex! Even if it weren’t wrong, it’s A HORRIBLE IDEA. We get proof of this when Lorelai goes to find Christopher before the wedding starts and she tells him she understands if he can’t break up with Sherry. Lorelai knew the whole time that this was going on that Christopher was with another woman, and he could always change his mind and decide to stay with her.

Christopher is primarily responsible for this situation, because he was the one in the relationship and he decided to cheat. However, Lorelai enabled him 100% of the way and placed herself in a situation where she allowed Rory and her parents to get hurt as well as herself. I have zero sympathy for her in all of this. I hate that the show made me watch her acting so cruelly and wanted me to root her on. It still disgusts me that this is one of the show’s highest-rated episodes on IMDB.

I might have forgiven all of this if the show had Lorelai acknowledge that she had made a mistake and had sat Rory down and explained to her that this is why it’s a bad idea to sleep with other people’s boyfriends. As we all know, it didn’t happen that way.

(Oh, and yes, this situation kind of ruins the rest of S2 for me, unfortunately. It’s why it’s at the bottom of my rankings).

3. A Vineyard Valentine. I think everyone knows why this episode is horrible. . Luke is a massively uncharacteristic douche throughout all of it. I think forcing Luke to double-date with Rory’s boyfriends brings out the worst in him because he is so protective of her, but this was absolutely overkill. Worst of all, he makes a promise to Lorelai that he’s committed to their engagement, he breaks it, and he doesn’t even know because Lorelai doesn’t tell him. The whole thing is horrible.

OTOH, I do appreciate the revelation that Logan taught Rory to cook.

2. The Big Stink. You really could plop any one of the early S7 episodes here where we have to endure Christopher “courting” Lorelai, Lorelai isolating herself from the town, and having to endure Rory hang around with her lame friends because Logan isn’t around, but I picked this one because I think it’s the only episode where Lorelai is flat-out nasty about Luke and makes statements to the effect of how much she prefers Christopher to him. It flat out hurts. On top of all of that, Luke is in one scene and since he’s our sole connection to the town at this point in the season, Stars Hollow isn’t, either. We end with that scene of Lorelai, Christopher, and Rory in the car and it’s implied to us that Lorelai’s Stars Hollow life is inferior to her happy new existence with Christopher.

S7 features this kind of plotline a lot, but it also has Luke being an adorable dad to balance it out. We didn’t get any of that here.

1. Partings. Look, I don’t care that ASP wrote this long beautiful monologue for Lorelai. I don’t care that she has admitted that she wrote this travesty of an episode as an attempt to whore for awards attention (this is why she does not deserve “make-up” awards for this show. Not after what she did to get them). it’s false, untrue drama, and it’s unfair. Lorelai gave up after her conversation with Anna about April. She avoided Luke for days and refused to speak to him. He was wandering all over Stars Hollow, worried and concerned about her. Lorelai is confused and vulnerable, and she has the world’s most unprofessional therapy session with a therapist that doesn’t know her or any context to what Lorelai tells her, and is advised to give up on her problems if she doesn’t get what she wants. Lorelai then decides to go in for the kill and decides that the best way to resolve her relationship dilemma is to scream at him in the middle of the street and act like an absolute lunatic demanding that they get married now or else in order for him to prove that he really loves her. When Luke does not go along with this insane plan, Lorelai decides to punish him by sleeping with Christopher. She knew he couldn’t forgive her for that.

ASP said afterwards that all of this was the best course of action for everyone involved so that Lorelai could “do other things” (aka Christopher). It’s bullshit. ASP’s contract negotiations didn’t go her way, and she decided to punish the show for not going along with what she wanted. She also was punishing the shippers for not going along with her narrative and refusing to hate Luke as much as she did.

I bring this up like this because what Lorelai asked for was impossible. Luke could not abandon everything at that moment and elope. It was a horrible idea that would not have solved her problems. Like it or not, Luke had an obligation to consider April’s welfare by this point, and he could not choose Lorelai over his child. The fact that she asked him to and we’re supposed to resent him for saying no is ridiculous. Lorelai of all people should have understood this, but she didn’t. We’re supposed to hate Luke for being a responsible parent who keeps his cool when his fiance is acting like a crazy person. This is BAD WRITING. And it doesn’t work. I refuse to judge him.

You know what would have worked? If Lorelai and Luke had sat down and had a reasonable discussion about how to balance their responsibilities like adults. But ASP had to provoke this situation in order to sell her favorite.

(You may notice a few episodes missing here. I don’t include French Twist because I haven’t seen it. I’ve only seen the Luke/Lane/Zach scenes. I also have not seen Unto The Breach, but I refuse to watch that because it hurts to know that Luke and Lorelai’s make so much progress and then take so many steps backwards and Lorelai is once again interpreting their breakup as Luke not loving her enough to go through with the elopment - their problems were so much more complicated than that! I also hate I Get A Sidekick Out Of You because the entire episode is meant to sell Christopher as this dreamy romantic alternative and we actually have to endure Lorelai taking him on a date to a wedding of someone who is close to Luke but I don’t think it’s fair to include that as one of the worst since I fast-forwarded through most of it).

Best Five Episodes

5. Forgiveness and Stuff. I love this episode so much! We get Luke being the unassuming romantic hero by driving Lorelai to the hospital. There’s emotional Gilmore family bonding that actually doesn’t! The Santa burger! The Blue Baseball Cap Of Love! And lots of bonding and longing looks on the L/L front. I really wish they would have gotten together here. It was the perfect moment for it.

4. Hay Bale Maze. If this episode didn’t exist, I would not have supported Luke and Lorelai getting back together and I would have walked away forever after season six. It’s the episode that ASP never would or could have written, and it was absolutely essential to reconciling me with the show. Those Hay Bale Maze apologies lay the groundwork for everything else that happened in Luke and Lorelai’s future, and it could not have existed without them. In addition to that, I think it’s a really sweet Stars Hollow-centered episode and we see Rory and Logan at their absolute best and it’s clear how well they really worked as a couple.

3. Last Year’s Fights This Year’s Tights. This episode is perfect: lots of townie shenanigans, Luke being a romantic hero and sweeping Lorelai off her feet, and Luke fully reconciling with Jess. That dance around the courtyard: the stuff of dreams, y’all!

2. Written In the Stars. I basically swoon during this entire episode, because Luke is so chvalrous and unexpectedly open and devoted and you can see how utterly smitten and delighted Lorelai is with this new side of him.

1. Raincoats and Recipes. I think this is the pinnacle of the show’s achievement: Lorelai realizes her dream, Luke and Lorelai finally stop dancing around each other and go for it, and Rory falls off her pedastal as Lorelai realizes that guiding her daughter to adulthood is going to be more difficult than she thought. I love that the Christopher/Sherry stuff I went into such detail earlier in this post is at last denounced and Lorelai has to deal with the implications of the example that she set forth and that she doesn’t allow Rory to use it as an excuse.

I think if Lorelai had applied the same attitude towards Rory when learning of similar behavior in the revival Rory could have avoided melting down the way that she did later. Maybe that wasn’t possible after Lorelai had screwed up again, but it’s yet another thing that could have been explained that wasn’t.

(I just want to state after all of this bloviating that I don’t hate Lorelai: she did some really, really fucked up things and not all of the wrong that she did was acknowledged. The plotline of villainizing the “other woman” in a love triangle when she becomes pregnant was actually very popular on TV in 2002 when those earlier episodes aired: however, on this show Lorelai WAS the other woman, and the show tried too hard to make us hate the one truly innocent person in that situation. Obviously, it didn’t work for me).

#gilmore girls #OMG THE RANTING MAKE ME STOP #anyhoo #those are my rankings

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blackrosesfanfic · 7 years

Text

Chapter 126

Cammie

Trey had to go meet and greet with his fans. He wanted me to go but I wanted to rest. Everyone left me alone in Trey's dressing room. Chris said that Trey doesn't have anyone in here but Rollie. Am I the only one finds that strange? Trey and Rollie chilling on his tour. Who would have put that together?

"Cammie?"

"Hmm?" I say sitting up.

MiMi comes over to the couch. "I'm about to leave you, Baby Daddy. You good?"

I frown. "No, I'm not good. Why are you leaving me?"

"My boobs hurt." she says grabbing them.

"You fake."

She sits on the edge of the couch. "Don't be like that."

I lay back. "Bye."

"I'll be back. You won't miss me."

"I will cause Trey is going to be on stage." I pout.

"Half of the time. Sevyn here. I'll send her in here, k?"

I roll my eyes. "I said bye."

She hugs me then leaves out of the room. I wanted to give her a hard time cause she was the reason I was late earlier. Now she is leaving. I didn't even have to wait for her. Little bitch. I close my eyes. No more than 5 seconds later I hear someone come into the room.

"Oh excuse me. Wrong room."

I open my eyes. It's a lady closing the door. She had on a hooker dress with a bad wig on her head. I hope that's a damn wig. I would be ashamed for her of it's her hair. I stare at the door. She hadn't closed it all the way.

"Who is that in your room?" the lady says.

"What?" Trey says.

The lady sounded betrayed. "That's fucking disrespectful."

Trey walks into the room looking stressed. I won't say anything about that girl. Trey smiles at me as if he didn't know I were here. He takes his shirt off.

"I got so much shit to tell you about." he says coming to the couch. "I showed a few of the fans the baby. They want to see Lane."

"Take him on stage."

Trey's face lights up. "I didn't think about that. I'll have to go find him."

I smile. "He is with his buddy Drake. I didn't know he liked Drake so much."

"More than he likes Chris." Trey says hovering over me. "I miss you. I still miss you cause I know you leaving. When are you leaving?"

"In the morning. I had to drive. I mean, I didn't drive. But I wasn't cleared for flying."

He kisses my lips. "Tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me what the doctor said. Your face is telling me you lying. I can call the doctor myself and ask for an update. They will tell me."

I sigh. "I saw a high risk doctor. They want to induce my labor."

Trey stands up. "For what?"

"Because the baby was facing the wrong direction and they believe that if I wait to go into labor I might deliver at the house and/or a breech baby."

"What's that?"

"When the butt comes first. Laura has been massaging my stomach everyday to make sure the baby turns and stay that way."

Trey is pissed. "Why would you keep this from me?"

"Cause I didn't want you to stop me from coming."

"I don't care about not seeing you if that means a healthy baby."

I get sad suddenly. "Yeah but I wanted to see you. I hate being home all the time in the damn bed with babysitters. It's depressing."

"I'm glad to see you, Baby." Trey says kissing me. "I'm sorry. I know you restless. But 5 more weeks. When are they planning on inducing your labor?"

"That's the thing. It's either the day after you come home or the day before."

Trey blows. "Well, then I'll come home early. A day early."

"Don't cancel anything. They haven't set a date."

"Damn." Trey says sitting down. "We cutting close with this shit. As long as I'm there."

I kiss his shoulder. "You will be there. Don't worry."

He turns his head. "I miss you so much at night."

"That's encouraging."

"No." he starts laughing. "You sleeping next to me. I dream of waking up to your face."

"Awh." I say kissing his shoulder.

He rubs my stomach. "We are going to be just fine."

I look at my stomach. "The doctor suggested I take this trip."

"Good." he says kissing my stomach.

"Tremaine, I ordered about 10 books the other day and I read 5 of them."

He turns his head to me with his eyebrows raised. "You read?"

I laugh. "Oh no, I'm sorry never do I do such a thing."

"Lane let's you read?"

"Yeah. I read the books to him. Sometimes he will bring his own and read it."

Trey chuckles. "He reads?"

"He think he knows how to read. He has a good imagination. He can tell me what his book is about."

"I don't deserve you." Trey says repositioning himself on the couch.

"Yeah, you need a woman that will abuse your son and cheat on you with your homeboys and their friends."

He nods. "One that is stank and dumb."

"I mean I can stop washing, cut my hair, and pop some pills."

"You do that. All of it."

I reach into my bag and get his gift for today. "I got you something."

He sits back on the couch after taking the box. "What is this?"

"A tracker."

"Like a... I'm not wearing a damn tracker."

I put my foot in his face. "Why the hell not?"

He grabs my foot then opens my legs. He comes in my face. I smile at him. It's not a real tracker. It was only meant to be a joke. He took it how I thought he would. I reach into my bag taking out the necklace that I did intend on giving him. I put it around his neck. He looks down at it then starts kissing me. His watch goes off. He sighs.

"What's that for?"

"I have 10 minutes until I go on stage but I want to find Lane."

I kiss him. "Lane is not going to talk in front of those people."

"They only want to see him."

"Maybe if you make them be quiet and turn the lights down. He will be nice."

He stands up. "Can you find Sam and tell him?"

"No, I'll find Lane and bring him to the stage."

"Okay."

Chris

Sevyn rolls her eyes. She told me that she is leaving with Cammie. It's some fucking bullshit as reason she leaving. Bitch don't know how to act and Sevyn tired of it. I tried to talk her into staying. That didn't work in my favor. Yelling and making demands don't do shit when a woman made up her mind. I try again anyway.

"Sevyn."

"Don't come over here talking about the same shit."

I turn around looking at Lane. He has a mic hitting it on the floor. I stop him from banging it on the ground. He gives me a threatening look. I jump at him. He thinks that he 6 foot tall. Little bad ass. He draws the mic back about to hit me.

"Look there go Drake." I say really fast.

"Way." he says turning around.

I take the mic. "He right there."

Lane walks over to him. "Hey, Friend."

"Hey, Lane." Drake smiles.

Lane cuts his eyes at me. "No, Chris."

"Shut up." I say sitting down.

"Dra, go Nicki house?"

Drake scrunches up his face. "Who is Nicki?"

"Nicki Naj." Lane says.

"What do you know about Nicki Minaj little nigga?" I laugh.

"Why are you going to Nicki's house, Lane?" Drake asks smiling.

Lane's bad ass had an answer. "With Trey Songz."

Drake laughs. "Oh you going to the concert with Nicki Minaj and Trey Songz."

"Yeah." Lane nods.

"Call Nicki." I tell Drake.

He does it. "Hello, Beautiful."

"Hi, Aubrey. I can't really talk."

"What you answer the phone for then?" I ask getting closer to the phone.

She snickers. "It was a reflex. Didn't think about it. Is that Chris?"

I take the phone from Drake and give it to Lane. "Lane is on the phone. Lane talk to Nicki."

"No, no." Lane says giving it back.

"He was talking about you Nicki." Drake says. "Lane, where you and Trey Songz going?"

Lane finds the candy on the table. "I eat. I eat, okay."

"Lane?"

"Hmm?" he says looking guilty.

Drake repeats his question. "You going to the concert?"

"I go Nicki house."

"Nicki? Who is Nicki?"

Lane gives me some candy. "Nicki Naj.

She giggles. "Oh lord."

"Dra, you go Nicki house?" Lane asks again.

"With who?" Drake shrugs.

Lane falls for the trick again. "With Trey Songz. I not go to Chris house."

I laugh. "He calls the concert a house."

"Hey, Lane, I found you." Cammie says walking in.

"Is that my cute ass? Hey, Love." Nicki says.

Cammie comes over. "Hey, why do you got my son talking about you?"

"Girl, that little nigga never talks to me. He is mean. He told them just now that he wasn't gonna talk to me. Little devil."

"Lane, say hey to Nicki." Cammie says pulling him to the phone.

Lane puts candy in Cammie's hand. "Hello, Nicki."

"Hello, Lane."

"Bye, Nicki." Lane says really fast as he hangs the phone up. "No talk to Nicki."

I stand up. "Cammie tell your girl not to leave."

She rolls her eyes at me. "She needs space Chris."

"Man, you are just like her."

"That's why you with her right?" She says grabbing Lane's hand. "Come on, Baby. Your daddy is looking for you."

"You a bitch sometimes, Cammie."

She turns her head towards me. She looks at Lane then pull him out of the room. I glance over at Drake. Yo, that wasn't supposed to come out like that.

"That was mature."

"Shut up, bitch." I snap.

He smiles a little then walks out of the room. I wasn't calling Cammie a bitch. But I shouldn't have said that in front of her son. Damn, Chris. I fucked up my chances of having someone to back me up. I'm sure Sevyn would leave faster now. I go into my dressing room and sit next to Sevyn. She hasn't talked to Cammie which is good.

"Can we do something tonight? Before you leave?"

"I'm not going to be gone forever. Don't try to act interested in me now that I'm going to Cammie's."

I rub my face. "I'm sorry."

She sits up fast then turns to me. "For what?"

"I don't know. Doing other stuff."

"You don't even listen. I explained it to you."

I'm stuck. Did she really? "I'm trying to make you stay."

"Don't apologize for shit you don't understand."

"Tell me again."

"No, because you making me mad."

I put my hand on her thigh. "Let's make a pact to not argue..."

"I'm not cause of you don't some stupid shit I'm telling you how I feel. You got me thinking if you can be trusted to be alone. Why is it so important that I stay. Why do we have to do something tonight?"

"I don't think that much." I say standing up.

She sits back. "I'm not dealing with this shit from you."

"What?"

"Just get out of my face."

I turn around halway to the door then go back to the couch. I jump on it. She screams then hits me. I fall on top of her then start kissing her stomach. I kiss her chin then her lips. I'm trying to be better. All of this is not me being better. I'm mad because she wants to spend time with her friend. I'm jealous. I heard her reason for going back with Cammie. Teyana has to go do something and MiMi talks about how Cammie is really bored and sad not being able to leave the house. I heard all of that. I didn't want to listen before. I no longer want to play the game of making her feel guilty.

"I'll stop acting stupid about you going to Cammie's. Can you tell me when you will be back?"

"No, cause I have trust issues. I'll surprise you."

I kiss her cheek. "Fine, I'm trying to make this last forever. I told you they last year."

"I'm listening."

"I have to go apologize to Cammie."

"Hold up. What did you do?"

I shrug. "I said something."

Sevyn gives me a look as I walk towards the door. I rather her find out from Cammie and not me. Maybe Cammie won't tell her and I'll get away with it. I'm going to be in shit if she tells Buggiz or Rollie. They take stuff too serious when it comes to Cammie. Hell everybody does. Cammie and Lane are sitting in the hall. As I walk up Cammie whispers something to Buggiz. Why she do that? He steps between us putting his hand up then ushering me around her.

"Damn, I can't talk to your ass?" I snap enraged.

"Don't make a scene." Buggiz says like he doesn't know me.

I knock his hand out the way then go about my business. Fuck Cammie.

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keywestlou · 4 years

Text

WHERE HAS HONOR GONE

I suspect I look for that which no longer exists. Honor in the Halls of Congress. Especially the Republican dominated Senate.

I thought we had it when Mill Romney had the courage to stand against his fellow Republican cohorts and vote for impeachment on one of the charges levied against Trump.

I was wrong.

Romney had his second shot at character when it was announced a Senate Committee he sits on was going to vote this monday on issuing a subpoena in the Hunter Biden/Ukraine matter. The hearing shades of Benghazi.

Romney said 2 days ago the move was “politically motivated.” He added he did not know which way he would vote.

He told us yesterday. He is voting to issue the subpoena. Had he not, the vote would have failed and the bogus issue removed from the Presidential campaign to a significant extent.

Honor is adherence to what is right. The term is used to describe people of high moral worth.

Romney failed to qualify.

Seeds of rebellion being planted? Does Trump want physical/military type confrontation between the federal government and the local governments?

He keeps pushing. Shoving what most people believe is wrong in citizens’ faces.

ICE and sanctuary cities the issue.

Certain states and cites have passed sanctuary laws. California has one which prohibits the arrest of a person on charges involving immigration if such person is at a court house for a hearing on another matter without first obtaining a court order.

The scenario occurred in San Francisco. An illegal immigrant was on the court house steps on his way into the building to appear re a criminal charge in another matter. ICE arrested him.

San Francisco is upset. The third time in 1 year such has occurred. San Francisco has advised it will provide legal representation to the man arrested re the ICE arrest.

ICE takes the position they are federal agents acting under authority of federal law. State or local laws are subservient to federal law.

San Francisco does not agree. There are instances where federal law is subservient.

I hope this particular matter will be resolved in the courts. Not in the streets.

Trump has ICE, the elite Border Patrol and “special agents” working in unison to make these arrests. People and local governments will not tolerate such troops and their military equipment on their streets. There still is a United States of America.

Trump and Pompeo made what they perceived as a great deal with the Taliban to end the 20 year old Afghanistan war. Two weeks have not passed since it was signed.

The Taliban are on a killing spree. Obvious it never intended to be bound by the agreement. The U.S. has at least one time committed its fighter planes to an attack.

Neither Trump nor Pompeo are negotiators of any worth. State Department types are required in entering into these agreements. A real estate contractor and his West Point graduate aide lack the necessary qualifications.

Trump pushed for the agreement so he could go to the American people and say he ended the 20 year old Afghanistan war. No matter how Trump phrases it, the majority of American people will not buy his bullshit. They have been lied to too many times.

Poor Mick Mulvaney. He misspoke one time too many. Trump finally got rid of him.

Mulvaney lost his job as Acting Chief of Staff yesterday. Republican. Representative Mark Meadows of North Carolina has been appointed to replace him.

Mulvaney has been demoted to the position of Special Envoy to North Ireland.

Better he quits and goes home.

Mulvaney is the perfect example of a person who sold his soul to the company store. He got what he deserved.

Seems like I will be doing a coronavirus update daily. Following are my today observations, comments, etc.

As the number of coronavirus cases rise, so do ammunition sales. Yes, people are buying more bullets. Sales are soaring. More than hand sanitizers are flying of store shelves.

Gun owners are in a “rush to be prepared” for whatever government action re the virus may follow. It is part of the coronavirus panic.

Lets put the situation in perspective. From 2/23 to 3/5 ammunition sales quadrupled. In less than 2 weeks.

The lobster industry is taking a death blow. In the United States, Canada and Australia. China cancelling the New Year celebration especially hurt. Lobster prices have dropped dramatically.

The fatal blow began with Trump’s trade war. Followed then by coronavirus.

One Maine Company shipped 1,000 boxes of lobsters a week. Now down to 120 boxes. Employees being laid off.

Another Maine company was forced to sell 50,000 pounds at a loss. Eight of 14 employees have been laid off.

A Canadian company reported its sales were down to 5 percent of its normal volume.

Not only are U.S., Canadian, and Australian lobster businesses hurting, certain Chinese businesses also. Smaller restaurants and mom and pop grocery stores.

The 3,500 people on the Grand Princess cruise ship off California still sitting out there. Quarantined to their rooms.

Oh, what fun it must be!

Pence announced a few days ago that “all passengers and crew will be tested for coronavirus.” Yesterday he announced only 46 had. He made it sound like a big deal. Twenty one were found to have the virus.

The other 3,500 are waiting. For what? A place to dump them? Certainly not to be tested in the near future. We don’t have sufficient test kits at the moment for any number….even small.

Earlier in the week Pence also said, “Any American could be tested.” Yesterday, “We don’t have enough tests to meet what we anticipate will be the demand going forward.”

The Association of Public Health Laboratories must be Trump/Pence friends. It announced, “We are not aware of any widespread testing shortages.”

New York City advised the federal government yesterday that the shortage of testing kits has “impeded our ability to beat back this epidemic.”

As of noon friday, less than 100 people had been tested in New York City.

Another federal official who appears to have trouble with the truth is Secretary Alex Azar of the Department of Health and Human Services. He claims the CDC has sent 75,000 tests to public health labs across the country. Where are they?

My last night consisted of the Chart Room and Shana Key.

Tammy working the bar at the Chart Room. The reason I stopped by. Love her! Had not seen her in a week.

When I arrived, I was 1 of 3 in the bar. Withing 10 minutes, there was no room even to stand.

The season in full bloom!

Mary Lou is a City Commissioner. She and husband Charlie came in for a drink. Good people. They were having dinner later at Pier 1.

Met a great guy from Hampshire, Illinois. About 40 miles outside Chicago.

Gary is an electrical contractor. He and his partners are in Key West with staff for a week long conference.

Gary’s wife Kathy was in their room sleeping. Gary and Kathy have 2 daughters and 2 grandchildren.

Met Gary’s partner and his friend. My apologies. Cannot recall their names.

Gary and I had what might be described as a deep conversation. He of Polish extraction. I, Italian. Growing up as such.

I enjoyed his company.

Dinner at Shana Key. An Irish restaurant. Enjoyed corn beef and cabbage. The best in town!

Cow Key Bridge. The trauma begins tomorrow night.

Comcast somehow involved. Whatever Comcast will have to do will be done 3/8-3/10 from 10 pm to 5:30 am. One lane will be closed during those hours. All lanes will be open during all other hours.

The best part of today will begin at 4. Syracuse/Miami basketball. I plan on watching the game at home. Afterwards, I don’t know yet.

Enjoy your day!

WHERE HAS HONOR GONE was originally published on Key West Lou

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itsiotrecords-blog · 7 years

Link

http://ift.tt/2rW7ef2

They say that “the customer is always right” but this is a rule that can surely be broken when dealing with asshole customers. Some customers can be very wrong indeed and make life a living hell for the serving staff. For the sake of tips and keeping their job, most servers will grit their teeth and let a rude customer walk all over them, but then there are the waiters who take matters into their own hands – and these guys are my heroes. As someone who worked as a waitress after university, I know firsthand that people in the service industry are routinely treated like crap. Most of the time, customers are friendly and polite, but every so often, you’ll come across a customer that makes you want to spit in their burger. While I was tempted, I never acted out any epic revenge on my asshole customers (apart from cursing them under my breath), but man how I wish I’d had the guts to try some of these pranks! Forget simply spitting in their food, these pissed off waiters had far colder and more devious forms of revenge up their sleeves. There’s the usual tampering with food type of revenge here, as well as trashing personal possessions and humiliating the customers. You might think these waiters went too far, but personally, I think these jerk diners got what they deserved. Some of these stories weren’t even premeditated acts of revenge – just karma being a bitch! Here are 15 delightful times that serving staff got their sweet payback on rude customers!

#1 A Very Ballsy Margarita Every once in a while, a customer will want something sent back – it’s all part of working in the catering industry. But there are some people who take this prerogative a little too far. Fair enough if you found an actual hair or insect in your food, but asking to have your dish or drink replaced more than once starts to look pretty arrogant and makes the customer come across like a self-entitled a-hole. One bartender named Ryan had this experience with a stuck-up customer who demanded to have her margarita sent back not once, but three times! Customers who abuse this right are often wanting to find some bullshit excuse to avoid paying and 9 times out of 10, it doesn’t work. So, when the lady asked to have her margarita sent back a third time, Ryan decided to dip his “olives” into the drink before sending it out to her. She must’ve have been pleased with the new secret ingredient, ’cause she didn’t ask for another!

#2 Lemons That Were Extra Sour The only thing more bitter than a lemon was one customer’s horrendously bad attitude during one restaurant rush hour. While rushing around attending to multiple tables during a busy shift, a waiter (referring to himself only as Justin) was rudely assaulted by one diner desperate for more lemons. Justin had apparently already served the guy enough lemons, as he put it, “to cure a small nation of scurvy,” but the customer wasn’t satisfied. After repeatedly shouting across the restaurant for “extra lemons” and humiliating Justin, the guy soon got his wish. Seeing red, Justin went back into the kitchen especially to serve up a bowl full of extra lemon slices for the whiny little bitch outside – only this time, they had the added ingredient of floor dirt. Burn! The insufferable diner was served all the lemon slices that had fallen onto the kitchen floor. Ah, the extra tang of bacteria!

#3 A Dirty Dollar After serving a super rude family, one waitress saw an opportunity to get them back in an amazingly gross manner. A waitress named Marisa worked at a busy family diner and would always get a rude regular table on Sundays. A family of 7 would come in for the lobster special and each and every member would always treat her like dirt – but the father of the family was the worst. The dad trained all 5 of his kids to snap their fingers to get Marisa’s attention. Annoying AF. Admirably, Marisa could brush this off and even deal with the condescending finger snapping. What really got her goat was how lousy a tipper the family was. The family only ever tipped one dollar for a family meal for 7! Knowing that the father only ever paid in cash, Marisa spotted an opportunity for revenge. After working one Sunday, she kept one of the dollars, went home and literally wiped her ass with it. She then gave it back to the jerkwad father in change the following Sunday!

#4 Salad Served With Dishwater Sauce In an another epic tale of food tampering, one bitchy customer got what was coming to her after treating a bartender like crap. The woman ordered a steak salad and was going out of her way to be really condescending and rude towards a super kind and shy member of the bar staff at the restaurant. The other waiters and restaurant staff noticed how unnecessarily bratty the diner was being and decided, for the barman’s sake, to do something about it. The diner’s steak was going to be served with a side salad and salad often comes with a dressing – but what kind of dressing could that be? Deciding that urine soaked salad would probably be too noticeable and get them all fired, they spotted the next best thing – dirty, grease-filled dishwater! One of the waiters filled up a ramekin with filthy dishwater and poured it over the entire side salad dish. The cherry on top was hearing the customer say that it “tasted great” with every bite!

#5 iPhone Wallet Dumped In A Trash Can While working at a casual diner in Brooklyn, a waitress named Kezwick was tending to her regular table when the diner started complaining incessantly about her meal. She also started to whine about her life too (did she get the diner mixed up with a psychiatrist’s office?). Anyway, while poor Kezwick was dealing with her as best as she could, the diner openly called her a “bitch” among other words. Kezwick let her insults slide and got on with her waiting duties and the rude woman soon paid up and left. When Kezwick went over to clean the lady’s table, she noticed an iPhone wallet and case had been left behind. There was no iPhone but plenty of credit cards, money and ID cards. While most people would be tempted to keep the cash and return it, Kezwick did one better and dumped the lady’s phone wallet into a nearby trash can! She hoped a homeless person might find it and have an awesome day!

#6 Creepy Subway Flasher 15-year-old Subway worker Sandra remembers a regular creepy guy who would flash her if she didn’t give him free food. She tried calling the cops on him a few times but they couldn’t ever do anything about it because the guy would flash and leave. (She was told that the perv needed to be caught “in the act” to be arrested). What makes things even more infuriating is that Sandra was told by her manager to “get over it.” Okay with old men flashing teenage girls? Nice policy, Subway. Anyhoo, one time, Sandra was working alone when the creepy guy walked in and started making disgusting “grunting” noises. Sandra was taking cookie sheets out of the oven at the time, so the perv demanded he has some free cookies. She turned around to see that he had started to unbutton his pants. She told him she’d give him some free cookies. “Really?” he said. He got them, alright. Sandra threw the hot cookie sheet at him, chocolate chips and nuts flying everywhere. He never came back.

#7 Milkshakes On The House While working at a hot dog stand in Chicago in the early 90s, high school student Greg remembers one awful day that finally caused him to snap. The hot dog stand was the only one for miles and had recently had a drive-thru section built in due to its popularity. One Saturday, the place had cars backed up the entire length of the drive-thru lane and Greg was the only guy in charge of receiving orders. One car ordered bags worth of food (which took ages to prepare) but they decided they wanted to go to McDonald’s instead and drove off. At this point, cars were honking impatiently and drivers were even getting outside to yell at Greg for the hold-up. A while later, Greg hears a familiar voice over the drive-thru intercom – it’s the same guys who ran out on their order for McD’s instead. This time, they placed an even bigger order, including eight large milkshakes. When their order is finally done after 20 minutes, the driver arrives at the window and says “I forgot my wallet. Just cancel the order.” Greg picked up the tray of chocolate shakes and hurled it into their car window, exploding everywhere.

#8 12 Checks And A Parking Ticket It’s not unheard of that some diners wish to pay in separate checks, but how about 12? One very difficult diner wanted the bill spilt 12 separate ways! Insane. Writing out more than two separate checks can be stressful enough, particularly on a busy night. But the customer wants what they want, so the poor waitress (referred to only as Michelle here) obliged and went ahead dividing the bill 12 ways. As Michelle was preparing the checks for her, the petty lady diner got more and more impatient and started yelling at her for taking so long. At this point, anyone would be tempted to throw the checks in her face and let someone else deal with her, but karma had other ideas. While the lady was busy bitching about getting her 12 checks, her car was slapped with a ticket for parking in a handicapped zone. Michelle said it was her best workday ever.

#9 Soaked In Sangria 15-year-old waitress Kelli was minutes from closing up when a party of 6 strolled in. At this point in the day, the restaurant was still serving food, but a more watered down version of the full menu to allow cooks and cleaners to prepare something quick and finish up. All but one member of the group were fine with the more modest Tapas menu, which featured homemade dishes that could be plated quickly. The loud-mouthed leader of the group not only demanded the full set menu from Kelli but began swearing loudly, calling her “a little bitch” before hocking a huge globule of spit on Kelli’s shoe. The teen walked back to the kitchen and started to cry when the angry customer came bounding into the kitchen to order a pitcher of sangria. The head chef obliged and gave her the set menu which seemed to shut her up. A moment later, one of the waitresses approached the table with the sangria and poured the entire jug over the woman’s head!

#10 “Buttering Up” Asshole Customers The act of buttering up rude customers would usually mean that you bend over backwards to make sure a table is completely satisfied and leaves you a nice tip – a free refill, an extra bread basket etc. But not in this case. One waiter named Matteo worked with a waitress who taught him everything he knows about “buttering up” customers, and it’s pretty genius. This fellow waitress taught Matteo a clever move which involved putting a blob of warm butter on the fleshy part of your hand between your thumb and forefinger and walking over to the rude table. Waiters always have to check on a table every 10 minutes or so, so you would walk over, lean your butter hand on the back of the diner’s chair and lean in with a “twist and release” move. All the better if you work in an upscale restaurant, ’cause butter could really ruin a dress or dinner jacket!

#11 Sexting Revenge On One Ludicrous Family One very demanding couple got a hell of a surprise after going to pathetic lengths to avoid paying for their meal. The mother and father of a family of four were being rude as hell to one waiter (who wants to remain anonymous). On top of this, they were keeping a restaurant coupon aside to present at the end of their meal. There’s nothing wrong with this, but the family had run up a huge tab and the coupon only covered $75 worth. When the father of the table was presented with the bill, he lost his sh*t and couldn’t understand why gratuity had also been added to the check. The couple bitched about it until the manager suggested they would only have to pay 10% of the bill! The anonymous waiter took down their phone number in the reservation book and placed it in the “hookups” section of Craigslist! He also made sure the family was inundated with porn pics and texts, placing the ad in 7 different states on the ad site!

#12 The Demanding Subway Jerk Another asshole customer at Subway – this time, a patronizing rich guy who expected to be treated like royalty. During a busy lunchtime rush, Subway worker Sharron and just one other assistant were dealing with a queue of about 15 people. One customer, parked outside in a yellow convertible, came strolling in ahead of everyone in the queue and ordered a sub right at the cash register. He slapped a five dollar bill on the counter and asked that they bring the sandwich straight to his car (he was on his cell phone the whole time). Sharron and her co-worker explained to him that he needed to queue up like everybody else as they were in the middle of serving someone. The jerk responded in the most patronizing way possible, saying that “It’s not my fault you chose to work in fast food. Put the sub in a bag when you’re done.” (The guy ordered his sub to have “tons of onion” sauce, btw). Sharron went out to the car with a bowl full of onion sauce with his sub marinading in it, dropped it in his car and said: “Sorry, we were out of bags.”

#13 Tossing A $200 ID Card A waitress named Andrea worked regular graveyard shifts at a snobby diner in downtown LA when her boss asked her to work a Monday morning shift. Knowing she’d be paid double her hourly wage, she agreed, but it didn’t seem worth it for the table she was about to serve. A group of executive types walked in with their office IDs and lanyards around their neck and the head of the group was a pushy woman Andrea simply dubbed “Ms. Important.” Ms. Important of the group demanded a side salad, despite this not being part of the breakfast special menu. Andrea kindly explained that all salads were made fresh and only served after 11 am on the lunch menu. Ms. Important couldn’t accept it and asked to see the manager (who the hell wants salad for breakfast anyway?). The staff made her a salad and the group paid (no tips) and left. When Andrea returned to clean the table, she noticed the woman’s ID had been left. She kept it until the end of her shift and dumped it in the trash. The ID card apparently cost $200 to replace. Ouch!

#14 First Ever Shift From Hell Technically, this revenge was acted out on employees rather than customers, but they can be just as bad and we had to include this story for sheer bad ass quality. So, 16-year-old Eddie was working in his first ever job as a dishwasher in a busy seafood restaurant. His first ever shift got off to a bad start since the other dishwasher had called in sick and his first day at work was a busy Friday night. The restaurant was packed and Eddie knew he’d be in for a long, long night. Already stressed and nervous about the prospect of cleaning a mountain of dishes (for a restaurant that served around 200 people), Eddie’s co-workers thought it would be funny to make it more difficult for him by piling up all the griddles and kitchen equipment on top of the customer dishes. He stared at the Everest of dishes he’d be cleaning until 4 am and said f**k it. He ripped his apron off, flushed it down the toilet and climbed out the bathroom window! Best exit ever.

#15 Pizza With A Side Of Karma Revenge took a more karmic turn for this asshole. While working at a pizza take-out place, counter worker, Larry, took regular phone orders and on weekends, the lines were inevitably crazy busy. To deal with each order, Larry had to routinely tell customers the usual “Thanks for calling, please hold!” Most customers were fine with this, except for one impatient guy who loudly shouted “NO!” when asked to hold. After calling back 3 times and getting the same response, the impatient guy actually showed up to the pizza joint and threw an epic tantrum about not getting his pizza on time. Larry and other staff members placed his order and assured him that it will be ready in no longer than 20 minutes. The dumbass asked where his pizza was every 5 minutes until it was finally ready to be delivered to his car, but the guy was too enraged to listen and slammed the door. He gets his pizza and puts it on his car roof all the while yelling and cursing the staff inside. Larry and the staff watch as he gets into his car (forgetting the pizza on top) and starts to drive away – pizza sauce and toppings smeared across the trunk and onto the floor!

Source: TheRichest

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