#latest existential crisis

[myheartswildrumpus]

My heart.

I don’t know, if there’s any point to it anymore.

#latest existential crisis #world is fucked #no one loves me #my heart

[katewalker]

every year since I'm 18 I say something unlocked in my brain and I'm done self sabotaging and every year goes the same (me lying) and maybe it's my little sister having a baby, maybe it's knowing I do have a herniated disc that provoked 5 sciatica crisis this year (I'm being so brave about the current one bc it's a small/medium one), maybe it's my 30ies being close... but I'm tired and maybe I should actually try to get better even if it implies doing stuff I don't want to do like buying my own car, decluterring my apartement, finding a bigger apartment and take care of my body and try new things about my style etc...

#pau.txt #let's see if this isn't just a phase #provoked by the latest existential crisis i got #which was provoked by listening to ada lea

[juneviews]

Which Off are you: Single Dad Off (with 500 kids), Shy Off, Old Man Off, Daddy Off, Simp for Gun and Gun Only Off, Single Tear Off, Don’t Touch Me Off, Model Off, Babygirl Off, Straight Off 🤭, CEO Off, Best Friend Off, Uncle Off, MC Off, Papi Off, Angry Off, Comedian Off, Dancer Off, Award Show Off?

there is only one right answer: ALL OF THE ABOVE 😌💅💚

xxx

#answers #off jumpol #you forgot hawaiian shirt king off but apart from that this is the best summary of off's versatility I've ever seen 😌💚 #last week I was single tear off (for no reason just my usual existential crisis about my future in this capitalist world typa beat 🤙🤪) #and now I'm 100% old man off bc my sleep schedule has been shit & I'm EXHAUSTED lol #also this ask has a crazy timing with my latest text post about off being the best actor to find crazy nicknames for lol we're connected

[ellstronaut]

The way ppl write Ellie sometimes…ugh like she’s not a woman, she doesn’t get her period or would wanna be taken care of sometimes, like she wouldn’t cry at 3 am midst watching a random ass documentary and have an existential crisis and end up calling you just to go off on a tangent about it at fucking 3 am just because she isn’t traditionally feminine more masc presenting honestly I think she’s just a practical person in general she just kinda wears what’s comfortable isn’t the type to follow latest fashion trend or anything but it’s hard to say if she would be masc presenting considering she’s fighting for her life in a damned world

that misogynistic roles/traits/attributes are assigned to her like she’s some kind of sexist alpha het male and not a lesbian who loves women more than anything would wanna treat them as equals AND be treated as an equal??

to add

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #tlouellie #tlou2 #ellie x reader

[jessi--ac]

.

#my latest crush is now dating and im having an existential crisis #like i would like to date but i DON'T WANNA date because djfjndlsnfndmsmd so hard meeting people #but at the same time i feels like such a undatable person like #to much trouble I DON'T KNOW OKAY I JUST WANNA KISS MY GIRLIES #also life is so hard as a demisexual and introvert person thst needs to be kinds tamed before socially interacting #ayyyyyyyyyyy

[canisalbus]

I can't get over how fluffy your weird Catholic guilt ridden dog man's ass is. The latest art suppose to be melancholic but all I can think about is his fluffy ass. I bet Vasco loves to pet it.

When you're having an excruciating existential crisis but your ass is distractingly fluffy.

#answered #anonymous

[timesomewhere]

crowley in the latest clip is depressed, broke, unemployed and having an existential crisis. this is real representation

#he's so me #good omens #good omens season 2 #crowley

[fangirlingpuggle]

So a couple more half asleep random thoughts on my latest DP AU where Danny accidentally calls CW dad and then no one believes he’s not actually his dad (Link here)

Mainly Fright Knight. He hears Phantom called CW father and he starts thinking about kid running into fights with the odds stacked against him, ridiculously stubborn and noble, completely protective over the land he’s claimed to protect and winning through determination and force of will and suddenly is remembering what Pariah was like when he was younger and before the madness took hold and is 1000% sure Danny is Pariah and CW’s biological kid no one will convince him otherwise and after his mini breakdown that he literally tried to kill his prince he decides it is his duty to protect Phantom at all costs. He shows up and swears fealty to him and Danny is just like ‘wtf wtf wtf’ and tries explaining that he called Clockwork dad on accident and oh god he’s embarrassed enough about calling his sort of mentor dad but

Danny: Look Clockwork is not my dad and Pariah definitely isn’t

Fright Knight: Yes they are

Danny:...I-what no no they are not

Fright Knight: They most definitely are my prince

Danny:...

It’s a lost cause trying to explain they’re not Clockwork has shown the ancients the actual timeline they still don’t believe him.

Fright knight is not only super protective of Danny, Dash literally doesn't know what him but he ended up though a wall last time he tried to mess with Danny (Danny is torn between fuck you almost killed him and fuck that was amazing) but also very concerned about the future ghost kings education he finds out Danny is struggling and goes apeshit in the ghost zone like ‘ALL OF YOU WILL STAY ON THIS SIDE OF THE PORTAL OUR FUTURE KING NEEDS TO DO CALCULUS’ he also is deeply concerned his prince does not know about ghost zone lore so Danny ends up getting ghost history lessons....Jazz gatecrashes them, she is taking all the notes (She’s also heard about Pariah and CW relationship and is very invested)

Also he starts teaching Danny more fighting and Danny wants to argue and should be trying to convince everyone he’s not the ghost zone prince...but he’s sword lessons and it’s super cool.

He’s kinda just getting used to that when the ancients show up with presents to see their Nephew. Danny feels super awkward and is just very glad Jack and Maddie are still in the basement having an existential crisis and looking over all their life's work to busy to come upstairs and see all of the most powerful ancient ghosts of the infinite realms having tea around the table.... at least he gets to hear embarrassing stories about Pariah and Clockwork.

Clockwork shows up as well Danny is awkward as hell around him at first because haven’t really interacted since he pulled the ultimate accidentally calling your teacher dad move.

CW: I wouldn’t bother trying to keep explaining it to them Daniel just accept fate

Danny:...uh why is it for the best timeline

CW:No. They’re just to stubborn to accept anything else.

CW: In all timelines all trying to explain does is lead to a headache

He also not so subtly says that well he also sees Danny as a son and that he wouldn’t mind having that bond... it’s the weirdest most roundabout way to adopt someone.

Pariah shows up and instead of the dramatic reunion he and CW slide just into how they were before Pariah went crazy aka the most mushy romantic couple of all time, like able to kill you with a thought but to busy getting lost in each others eyes to think about it.

The observants are actually super happy Pariah is back because they totally shipped it they spent centuries observing these twos ridiculous pinning and romance and then Pariah went crazy and sunk their ship and so they are super happy to have their ship back they are sitting back watching eating popcorn watching this surprise child plot twist gasping and with their own cork board of conspiracies like ‘OMG THAT’S WHY CLOCKWORK SAVED HIM YES DOTS CONNECTED’

Bonus: Vlad bursts in to do evil plan he’s been plotting and... there is the fight Knight all the ancients, Clockwork and Pariah all just sitting there...he just very slowly walks backwards out of the house...Fright Knight still tracks him down and kicks his ass.

Bonus bouns: Dani. The zones find about Dani and lose their minds more nobody even questions how they could have 2 kids of different ages at all, they’re all like you control time weird shit happens but for sure that’s your kid.

Vlad: I made them that’s a clone of Daniel

Ghost Zone: ha right nah that’s Pariah and Clockworks kid

Vlad*Eye twitching*

Dani finds herself scooped up by Fight knight calling her the princess of the ghost zone and that her fathers have been looking for her and she’s confused but also like...ok and just rolls with it.

#danny phantom #dp #dp au #au #fic prompt #dad clockwork #dp dark ages #dark ages #dp lost time #lost time #danny fenton #clockwork #fright knight #pariah dark #pariah dark x clockwork #dani phantom #dp royal family #humor #dp ancients #i am just amusing myself at this point

[weirdnesslieshere]

Something I don't see anyone talking about is how the latest Keeping Up with Star Rail segment kind of implies Aventurine is a walking existential crisis for Ratio.

So, I thought it was kind of strange that Ratio was so against acknowledging Aventurine's abilities that he would start blatantly lying about not understanding them. Pretending to be ignorant seems kind of insane for him, right? But, I decided to analyze it a bit more and came to some conclusions.

Ratio operates entirely off of reason and logic and employs careful planning to achieve his goals. In contrast, while Aventurine does plan things out, he hinges everything on his luck, even when he does not need to. So, from Ratio's perspective, Aventurine is constantly making reckless gambles while fully believing things he cannot control will go his way simply because he wants them to. This is absolutely idiotic behavior, but instead of meeting what should be inevitable failure, Aventurine always succeeds. And because he always succeeds, Ratio has no grounds to correct him.

But, why would this give Ratio an existential crisis? Because, the fact that Aventurine can succeed by doing seemingly idiotic things puts Ratio's worldview into question. We’ve seen him deal with foolishness on the Herta space station by putting the researchers in a situation so they could learn to be independent for their own good, but around Aventurine, there is nothing he can do. Nothing Ratio can teach him is applicable because there's no reason for him to abide by logic, which makes everything Ratio stands for irrelevant around him.

So, Ratio seems to deal with being irrelevant by dismissing Aventurine as chaotic and beyond calculation. Because, if he can't understand how Aventurine works, then he doesn’t need to confront the fact that he contradicts Ratio's entire outlook. Ratio is a very self-centered person, so it makes sense that someone flagrantly violating his idea of the world would be difficult for him to reconcile with. If his worldview cannot account for Aventurine succeeding without logic, then it is imperfect, and if it is imperfect, his entire mission to eradicate idiocy might be flawed. Pretending to not understand Aventurine means he can just say he doesn't make sense and ignore everything.

#I got so much analysis out of a six minute video #To be clear #I don't ship these two #Shipping just isn't very interesting to me #HSR Aventurine #Aventurine #Dr Ratio #HSR Ratio #HSR #Honkai Star Rail

[toast-of-eden]

Me: [having an orv-induced existential crisis] Kim Dokja’s relationship with the story of Yoo Joonghyuk is a direct metaphor for how he comes to terms with his trauma. This implies that their companionship is akin to a psychological—

Me two hours later: [writing my latest romcom fic] MAKE THEM KISS.

#orv #orv meta #post by toast #joongdok

[chriscdcase95]

Wednesday Addams doesn’t cuddle. Doesn’t snuggle. And doesn’t like to be serenaded. Not in public at least.

It’s something she saves for special occasions, but it’s a promise that she made Enid. And Enid intends to hold her to that…

Or because AO3 doesn’t allow full lyric song fics. 

Authors Note: The main song here "Could I Be Your Girl ?" by Jane Arden - lyrics reworked for a Sapphic context.

— — — —

In their dorm, Wednesday is at her typewriter, finishing up a segment in her latest chapter.

Her story features a vampire protagonist who was born on December 24th, and she has spent over half the day researching how Christmas was celebrated in the 17th and 18th centuries.

Behind her, the door opens and Enid steps in looking proud of herself.

“I did it!” Enid exclaims, tossing her bag on the bed.

“Killed your mother ?” Wednesday doesn't even look away from the type-writer, a ghost of a smile on her face “Well, I'm proud of you, but announcing it so brazenly-”

“No silly,” Enid walks up behind Wednesday, wrapping her arms around her from behind, resting a chin on her shoulder “I not only passed the history exam, I beat it!”

Wednesday tries to remain sober, she really does, but her snarky declaration of being proud becomes a lot more genuine.

The past week, Enid had to do a history exam regarding the Civil war and accounts of how confederate raiders in Evermore.

For her assignment Enid was trying to prove the often disputed accounts of the “Red Bath” siege - something Evermore's historians usually don't seriously consider. Notably, the accounts of Addams' ancestors at the time, Ezekial "Tanhide" Addams and his sister Morrigan, holding Evermore's fort during these raids.

Anyways, Wednesday's tutoring of Enid helped her prove the authenticity of these accounts, and further debunked the claims of “reformed” confederate Captain Normanmeyer, whose atrocities were similarly downplayed or dismissed by Evermore historians.

Bottom line, Enid not only passed with flying colors, but drove the history teacher and even local historians into an existential crisis. And for that, Wednesday was extremely proud.

So much so...that before the exam, she promised Enid she would let her-

“Soooo,” Enid says, a sly grin washing over her face, as a look of realization washes over Wednesday's “About my reward...”

A little flustered, Wednesday has a rare uncertain expression on her face, when she looks at an expectant Enid.

“Can-can this wait, you know, until tonight ?”

“Oh, but Honey Badger,” Enid takes one of Wednesday's hair braids, and twirls it around her finger “I've been waiting all week..”

Wednesday exhales deeply through her nose.

She did promise Enid. And Enid has been patient.

“Very well,” Wednesday says, getting up and away from her chair and Enid, making her way towards their window, preparing to close the blinds.

“No.” Enid says.

“No ?”

“I want them open.”

“Enid!” Wednesday didn’t mean to raise her voice, nor could she help the flustered blush that washed over her.

But Enid’s request and how brazen she was being caught Wednesday off guard. She honestly didn’t know what came over her.

“I want the window open too...” Enid grins.

“But-”

“Please Wends ?” Enid gives a sad puppy dog look, pushing out her lower lip.

Wednesday takes a deep breath. 

Were they really gonna do this ? Was she really going to let Enid cuddle and snuggle her, to serenade her for the world to see and hear ?

Sweet Morrigan, Enid was going to be the death of her! And Wednesday found herself loving Enid more for it.

And if that annoying voice in the back of her head was any indication…she wasn’t opposed to letting anyone hear Enid’s sing to her. 

Wednesday let Enid cuddle her like this three times before; she let Enid sing to her three times before. No self respecting Addams would admit to it, but it did things to her.

But this time, letting others know that Enid snuggles her and sings to her…it meant something far more intimate. It let the world know she belonged to her.

Composing herself, Wednesday tries to remain sober as she opens the window.

“If that’s what you want,” she says “It is your reward.”

Blushing with excitement, Enid takes her place on the bed, waiting for Wednesday, who takes her time making her way to their bed.

“Although…” Wednesday says, trying to delay the inevitable “I had other ideas-”

Wednesday makes a noise like a yelp, as Enid takes her by the wrist and pulls her into the bed. In what was about ten and eight seconds in real time, felt like forever as Wednesday was pulled onto Enid's lap, and she felt herself freeze. 

Enid giggles as she feels Wednesday tense and shiver. To relax her, she gingerly moves her hands up and down Wednesday’s shoulders and arms.

“Ready ?”

Wednesday closes her eyes, taking a shaky breath.

“Just…just do it.”

With a small smile, Enid wrapped her arms around Wednesday’s stomach and gently pulled her in, snuggling her from behind. Wednesday takes several deep breaths, before she feels Enid gently rocking her from side to side. 

Enid is humming a tune, which gets her to relax a little.

After a moment, Enid rests her chin on Wednesday’s shoulders, putting lyrics to the tune in a soft singing voice.

“Hide your heart under the bed/And lock your secret drawer/Wash the angels from your head/Won't need them anymore,” Enid begins to sing “Love is a demon and you're the one she's coming fooor/Ooooh my Lord...”

Wednesday is flushed, she opens her eyes to look out the window. She can hear students outside. Which meant they could hear Enid.

But if she keeps her voice at this soft volume–

Wednesday’s hopes and silent prayers were shot down, as Enid raises her singing voice to a greater tempo.

“She's bringing sweet salvation/Let temptation take you in/She's every fear and every hope/And every single sin/She is the universe, the love you've been imaginiiiing/Ooooh myyyy Lord/Oh my, my/Oh myyyyy Looooord/Oh myyyyy, my Lord...”

Wednesday opens her mouth, about to verbally object that they could be heard. But Enid’s singing voice had an effect on her that humbled her. Divina is clearly some sort of influence on Enid, but she doesn’t know if that is a good or bad thing.

“And I am ashes/I am Gaia/I am precious/Could I be your girl ?/Could I be your giiiirl?” Enid hits the chorus.

Wednesday opens one eye to the window. The voices outside have stopped. Either they’ve all gone indoors…or they could hear it.

They could hear Enid, and they would know…some might want to investigate — confirm their suspicions — and they would know for sure. They would know that Wednesday Friday Addams, daughter of Gomez and Morticia…allowed her significant other to cuddle and serenade her for the world to hear.

“Put a chair against the door/And turn the lights down low/Write a letter to yourself/No one will ever know/Tell them all about the girl who just refused to fall/Ooooh my Lord-”

At the start of the school years, Wednesday would get so mortified at the very thought or idea, that she would sooner go a week in all pink. And yet…Wednesday find herself liking it. 

“She is the very breath you feel inside your lungs at night/She is the bitter wind who's drying up your appetite/She is the darkness that seeps into your fading liiight,” Enid continues, affectionately nuzzling her nose into Wednesdays hair “Ooooh myyy Lord/Oh my, my, oh myyyyy Looooord...”

Outside the dorm, several students are listening, with mixed expressions of disbelief, and embarrassment.

Everyone’s eyes are towards the dorm, and the open window. Vampires are paying attention. Gorgons are paying attention. Werewolves and Sirens are ESPECIALLY paying attention. Bianca is looking away, covering her mouth with a flustered expression.

“And I am ashes, I am Gaia/I am precious/Could I be your giiiirl?/Could I be your giiiiirl?/ Ooooh.” Enid continues to sing.

Across the courtyard, Yoko and Divina are coming back to the school grounds. The latter with two ice cream cones in hand.  Between them is four year old Pubert Addams, who Yoko and Divina have taken to get ice cream when Wednesday dropped babysitting duties on them.

A mortified Yoko crouches down, protectively covering Pubert’s innocent ears, while Divina nods towards the dorm with an approving expression.

“And I am worthless sounds compared to all your perfect words/Could I be your giiiirl?/Could I be your giiiiiirl?”

As Enid hums the instrumental, Wednesday tries to formulate any lucid thought, her fluttering eyes still to the window. Her breathing is heavy through her nose. She bites her lower lip, and couldn’t stop her blush if she tried. 

And she did. She really did.

It’s only when she thinks she can breathe, that is when Enid hits the final chorus.

“Wash the angels from your head/Won't need them anymore/Hide your heart under the bed/And lock your secret drawer/Love is a demon, and you're the one she's coming for/Ooooh myyy Lord!”

“Oh my lord…” slips past a flustered Wednesday’s lips, and she really hopes she is mouthing. But she can feel Enid smirking against her neck, and had the sinking feeling that she heard it. And the others heard it from outside.

Wednesday thought she could die…and yet. It made her feel alive! 

She can certainly understand why her parents are so cuddle/serenade happy when they think she, Pugsley or Pubert couldn’t hear them. Morticia’s “talk” with her was right. It did feel natural. And with that, Enid brought the final verses to a close. 

“Oh my, my lord/Oh my Lord/Could I be your girl ?/Oh my Lord)/Could I/Could I be your girl…”

Enid brings her voice lower and softer, a gentle hush and she feels Wednesday squirm a little.

“Oh, sorry!” Endid releases Wednesday, and gives her some space.

Wednesday, still catching her breath, doesn’t even care if her face is red. She adjusts her hair and waves her hand to fan off her face, before placing it on her forehead. For a moment she doesn’t say anything, as she tries to compose herself.

“I’m sorry I–” Enid tries to stay, but stops when Wednesday holds a finger up to silence her.

Wednesday takes another moment, before looking at Enid.

“Could…?” Wednesday tries to say, before her face turns a mild pink. 

She bites her lip and takes a deep breath, and it dawns on Enid what she is trying to say.

“Could…I…try that…with you ?” Wednesday winces, not believing she was actually saying this. 

“Yes!” Enid says excitedly, before trying to calm herself, and okay it cool “I mean- I mean sure.”

Hesitantly, Wednesday inches her way towards “Just gonna…”

She reaches forward with shaky arms, wrapping  them around Enid’s waist and pulling her in close. It’s a little off, but it was more or less the same position Enid held her moments ago.

Wednesday wasn’t used to being the big spoon and it shows.

“Are you sur-?”

“Yeah. Just- just don’t patronize me, okay ?” Wednesday says, still a little flushed as she flickers her eyes at the open window.

Going through the motions, Wednesday begins rocking side by side. It’s awkward, stilted and clearly out of her comfort zone, but Enid’s relaxed exhale tells Wednesday she’s doing something right. 

Already, Wednesday was humming a tune, and she didn’t even realize it until she realized she had to put words to it now. She opens her eyes, looking at Enid and that bright encouraging smile. With a friendly pat on the head, Enid silently tells her to go for it.

Licking her lips, and taking a deep, shuddering breath…Wednesday puts lyrics to her tune.

“Sometimes the snow comes down in June/Sometimes the sun goes round the moon,” Wednesday begins “I see the passion in your eyes/Sometimes it’s all a big surprise…”

Enid wants to say something to the effect of “Atta girl”, but doesn’t want to break her stride.

“Cause there was a time when all I did was wish/You'd tell me this was love,” Wednesday continues, her eyes briefly flickering at the window “It's not the way I hoped/Or how I planned/But somehow it's enough…”

#wednesday netflix #wenclair #wendesday addams #enid sinclair #wednesday x enid #incorrect wenclair #song fic

[carionto]

So, dinosaurs are a bust, BUT we got the next best thing

Part 1 2 3 4 (and extra)

The "dinosaur" """science""" station around the planet Ramforinkus is facing an existential crisis:

The dinosaurs they engineer keep dying on the planet that likes to set itself on fire all the time. Go figure.

And they are trying. Everie Jackobson, Henrietta Kostoyeva, and Gieverne de la Roquohe (everything after Ro is silent, obviously) will never give up on their dreams of... I'm actually not sure what they're actually aiming for anymore. It's become almost like a fever, this urge, this need to have dinosaurs as seen in Jurassic Park on a planet that is absolutely hostile to pretty much all living things except the very peculiar ferns, moss, algae, and fungi that coexist in this strange symbiotic cycle of conflagration.

Their latest solution?

Cybernetics.

Yup. Robo-dinosaurs.

If the flesh can't survive, metal will. They still want biological things in there, or it won't be a "real dinosaur" whatever importance that has at this stage.

But there's no fauna on the planet for them to hunt and eat, and there's no point to making a Dinosaur Planet if you can't have a goddamn TYRANNOSAURUS REX running around eating people. I mean, other dinosaurs. Whatever.

The solution? Make them able to digest metal that the cybernetic herbivore dinosaurs will be made of. Can't be solving self-inflicted problems without creating boatloads of additional work that will result in other problems that themselves will need extensive and complicated solutions, which in turn will continue the cycle forever.

Hmm?

Why are they adding guns to the carnivorous dinosaurs now?

Well, the cybernetically enhanced herbivores are a lot faster and more durable than their pure organic counterparts, so O B V I O U S L Y you need to compensate and balance things out.

But oh no, the weapon discharges are catching the planet on fire more frequently and reducing the herbivore's food sources dramatically, who could have predicted this, I wonder.

Aaaaand now some of the herbivores are salvaging the ranged weapons off of the occasional dead carnivore and gearing themselves up, so now the raptors need better defensive capabilities and stealth tech to even get close to their prey.

Yeah, go for it, that certainly won't cause more problems. Do a mecha-dinosaur arms race, these three """"""scientists"""""" are really putting their brilliant minds to good use over here. Well done.

...and now the dinosaurs are putting their differences aside and planning a rebellion against the evil sky wizard tower.

And you know what the three stooges are thinking?

Guess.

.

.

.

Wrong (unless you did guess this next part).

"I wonder how long until they develop their own space program and join us as a Galactic civilization? I can't wait! Dinosaurs in Space!!!"

#humans are space orcs #humans are space australians #humans are space oddities #humans are deathworlders #humanity fuck yeah #carionto #dinosaurs in space

[comicaurora]

What were your thoughts on the latest season of the dragon prince. Personally, I was underwhelmed with the season and the writing in general. It felt like a lot of circling the point but never actually getting there.

To me it felt like setup in advance of getting three more guaranteed seasons of television?

It's not like the season was devoid of development, it was just mostly centralized on character arcs. Callum and Rayla got past their emotional block, Claudia slid down a very depressing yet understandable path, Viren had a protracted existential crisis that finally drew on the planted idea that he's not simply evil, he's just desperate to mean something. Ezran acknowledged his pain and anger for the first time while also proving it didn't have any effect on his dedication to peace, which is the first really kingly thing we've seen him do - heck, even Soren got some non-punchline treatment and genuine concern from his friends, and is now fully integrated into team good-guy.

And there were some pretty significant plot advancements. Rayla now has the coins containing all three of her missing/presumed dead parents, setting up what I can only imagine will be a fraught arc where she and Callum work to figure out how to get them out safely - with the complication that one of them killed Callum's stepdad, and he's not gonna be super okay with that. The Sunfire Elf capital is still corrupted by dark magic and now there's a full-on succession conspiracy at play, with Amaya unknowingly caught in the middle.

I watched season 4 immediately after a full rewatch of the first three seasons, and I didn't have any trouble with the flow. If anything it's a relief after the relentless speedrun pace of season 3, which was driven by their premature cancellation.

The world of The Dragon Prince is by far its strongest asset. It's incredibly rich and colorful and I'm very intrigued to see more. If all this season does is show us more slices of that world, it's still a win in my book - and it did that.

#asks #not aurora #the dragon prince

[dujour13]

OC Kiss Week - day 1

For @offsidekineticist 💜 Your OCs live in my heart and the buddy cop AU lives in my head

CW: claustrophobia, disposal of disposable NPCs, non-consensual smooch, homicidal ideation

“Gil?” Siavash is crouched in the halfling-sized holding cell with his knees around his ears. “Gil! You came back for me!”

“Keep it down. Only because I know you, and you don’t do torture. A hot instrument gets within ten feet of the face and you’ll be singing like a lark. The name, address, date of birth and favorite fucking flavor of ice cream of every Bellflower in Cheliax’ll be on their list.” He finishes picking the lock and throws open the bars.

The moment his long half-elven limbs are free Siavash stretches them happily, grabs Giliys by both cheeks and kisses him square on the crown of the head. “I love you.”

“Ugh, cut that out.”

“You didn’t kill the guards did you? Would you believe one of them plays prismati? We got to chatting and—oh.”

Giliys did kill the guards. Siavash steps over the carnage, tearful eyes trained on the heavens.

“If you hadn’t spared that magistrate we wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place,” grumbles Giliys, grabbing his ridiculous scarf and pulling him down behind the barrier so he can scan the hill beyond to make sure his planned escape route is still clear.

It isn’t. Even from here he can make out the glow of approaching torches: the Hellknights coming to collect this latest roundup of troublemakers.

“We’re trapped.”

“It’ll be fine.”

Giliys’ fingers twitch around the hilt of his dagger. He opens his mouth but a whisper from behind them cuts him off.

“Psst. Over here.”

It’s the magistrate, the one Siavash talked him into letting go, and who apparently turned right around and led the authorities to them. But now she’s had some kind of existential crisis and looks like she’s been crying. She unlocks the door to the storage barn. “Take the back door. I’ll distract the Hellknights.”

Siavash beams. “Thanks.”

There’s no reason to trust her, but there aren’t any other options, so Giliys grits his teeth and follows.

Later, traveling cross country in a heavy downpour but free at last, they pause to rest only a few miles from the Andoren border.

“Told you so,” says Siavash.

If Giliys’ eyes were daggers his partner would be in front of Pharasma now.

Siavash seems unfazed. “You know, if you really wanted to stop me from spilling all our secrets you didn’t have to let me out. You could have just killed me.”

Giliys raises a finger. “Don’t fucking tempt me.” But even as he says it he realizes he probably wouldn’t, even after that obnoxious and invasive display of affection, because a glib Andoren who has the favor of the goddess of luck can come in handy sometimes.

#friends' ocs #giliys #siavash #ockiss24 #pwotr pals #my writing

[starsstuddedsky]

If You Call Me

gn reader x seokmin

summary: choosing to be partners with the soccer player in your science gen ed was bound to be a mistake, but when he insists on bringing you gifts to compensate for the notes you always share with him, you decide it means war. who will win this battle of kindness? and will you ever know if the feelings you have developed will be returned?

genre: fluff, university au, sports au, sunshine x sunshine?, non idol au

warnings: food mentions, existential crisis

wc: 7.9k

a/n: the second installment of this mini series! I’ve been sort of insane writing this in like 2 days but uh enjoy - also if ur a soccer player reading this. sorry. i tried.

title: If You Call Me - P1harmony

masterlist

I glared at the boy sitting across from me. I wouldn’t let him win, no matter how much he smiled at me.

“You gave me the notes when I had to miss class!” He said, pushing the drink closer to me. It would have been fine if that was the full truth. But we were a month into the fall semester and this was the eighth time he’d done this. Over half of the time that I showed up to our group project meetings I was greeted with a drink or a snack or something too incredibly sweet from Seokmin.

“It’s really not that big of a deal,” I said. “It’s not like you’re skipping on purpose, plus if you aren't caught up then it’s kind of hard to work on the project.”

“Well, even if the notes aren’t a big deal to you, you still adjusted your schedule to mine for these meetings. For 9 in the morning,” he said. “Drink it before the ice melts and it gets all watery.”

“I told you I’m a morning person.” I sighed, taking a sip of the drink, perfectly sweet and refreshing. “This is the last time I accept your kindness without retaliation.”

“Wow you really are an English major,” he said, opening his laptop.

“I mean it!” I said. “This is war, and I will not lose.”

“I look forward to this,” Seokmin said. “Even though you are definitely going to lose. Now, are we going to study or are you too busy planning my downfall?”

“First of all, it’s a battle of kindness,” I said. “And actually I really want to do anything but study today.”

Seokmin glanced around us. “You do know this is a study room, right?”

“I doubt we would be the first people to use this for other purposes,” I said, then realized how it sounded. “I mean, we probably aren’t the only people to not study in a study room. Like, watch a movie, or whatever. Not not study. Not… that.”

Seokmin sat back, folded his arms and grinned, clearly enjoying himself. “Not what?”

I smacked his arm, trying to stop my face from getting redder.

“Fine, if you really don’t want to study, then I’m going to review tape,” he said, tapping quickly at his keyboard until he pulled up footage from their games. Seokmin played for the school’s soccer team as a midfielder. That was pretty much everything I knew about soccer. Despite my lack of knowledge, it was fun to watch along with Seokmin as he played the tape from their latest game. It had been an intense match, according to Seokmin, going into overtime with the other team being really aggressive.

He skipped to show me the “good” parts. “Watch,” he said, following a figure with his finger. They were running down the field with the ball, heading towards the goal for our team. A defender, number nine, stepped up to push back on the other player. The player from the other team swung his leg back and then slammed it into the defender’s shin, causing him to cripple to the ground, while the other player took a (successful) shot on the goal.

“That can’t be legal,” I said. “He straight up kicked him!”

“And just like that you’re more competent than the referee we had last night,” Seokmin said. “But just wait, it gets worse.”

He skipped even further, near the end of the second half, where one of our players was about to get a shot on the other team's goal, when he was taken off his feet by the other team, a shoulder slammed into his chest. He hit the ground and didn’t move for a few scary seconds.

“Oh my god, is he okay?” I turned to Seokmin.

“He is doing surprisingly amazing, all things considered,” Seokmin said. “It looks a lot worse than it was. He didn’t even have any lasting bruises.”

I frowned. “I thought soccer was supposed to be a noncontact sport.”

“I mean there technically is some contact since there’s no actual barriers between us,” Seokmin said. “But stuff like that is totally illegal.”

“Has anything like that ever happened to you?”

Seokmin grinned. “Of course! This one time this guy got mad at me for scoring on him, so in the next play he literally just swung at my head. In high school, this guy tried to body slam me like what happened to Chan the other night, and bounced off of me.”

“You’re a little too excited about all of this,” I said. I glanced at him, scanning his body for bruises or vestiges of being beaten up. There wasn’t anything other than a few bruises on his legs. Not for the first time, I noticed how muscular his arms were, even though he was sitting relaxed.

“Are you done staring?” Seokmin asked.

I turned back to the screen immediately, resting my cheek on my hand and hoping he didn’t notice how red I was for the second time today. “I wasn’t staring,” I mumbled. I didn’t even convince myself.

Seokmin had the decency to move on, restarting the video from the beginning to actually analyze it. It was funny to watch him study the videos, especially compared to when we studied for class together. He was scribbling down notes, pausing and rewinding, actually paying attention. My plans for the study session mainly included scrolling on my phone, but I found myself watching over his shoulder, trying to decipher his notes.

“What are you doing?” He asked without looking up.

I shrugged. “Anything but my homework.”

He paused the match, sitting back from his laptop to study me for a moment. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I really don’t,” I said, curling up in my chair.

“Okay,” Seokmin said. He handed me the drink I had forgotten, staring at me until I took another sip. “Would you rather listen to boring soccer analysis?”

“Please.”

I wandered around the bakery, stepping up to the glass and studying each of my possible choices. It was my first time trying to win against Seokmin, and I was just realizing how difficult it was. Between the multitudes of choices and my limited knowledge of Seokmin’s tastes, I would be lucky to find something that he liked.

How had Seokmin learned my tastes? We’d gone to the cafe together for our first couple study sessions, but even if he’d been paying attention to what I’d ordered, he hadn’t ever brought me the same drink twice, and had never brought me either of the drinks I’d ordered those days. Yet he also hadn’t ever gotten me anything I disliked.

I decided I had to choose between the lemon tart and the giant macarons. I stood at the glass, studying each of them, trying to taste each of them in my mind, wishing I’d paid more attention to what Seokmin ate the last time we came here. I finally chose the lemon tart when I realized the cashier wasn’t asking if I’d decided yet because she was being nice, but because I was holding up the line.

I held it up to the sun as I walked toward the library, deciding I had made the right choice. Maybe it was the food coloring, but the bright yellow somehow reminded me of Seokmin. There was something about him that I couldn’t name, but I blamed it as the reason that I started thinking of him every time something made me smile.

I got to the room first, checking in with the librarians who were starting to recognize me. For over a month I had been meeting with Seokmin in the study room, and since it was such an awkward time, at nine in the morning, reserving the room was rarely necessary.

I settled in, opening my laptop and skimming the assignment list. The first part of our project was due in a couple days, and while we’d been good at staying on task in the first few study sessions, the productivity had decreased with each one. I ended up watching the game with Seokmin the entire hour last week.

Seokmin had lifting at the ugly hours of the morning and then an 8 am right after, so it wasn’t uncommon that he was late. What made me suspicious was that he had never once been on time when he was bringing me something.

As I expected, he walked in at 9:07, with a bakery container in hand. He sat down across from me, eyeing the box I held.

“Last chance to back out,” he said. “Are you sure you’re ready for war?”

I tried to keep a straight face but I couldn’t handle the full strength of his smile, crumbling and letting my own smile win. “Are you ready?”

“On the count of three?”

I nodded and he counted down. On three, we both flipped our containers around, and burst into laughter. In Seokmin’s box was a bright yellow lemon tart.

I slid mine across the table to him as he did the same. “For the record, I bought it first, so I think it’s a win for me,” I said. I cut a small piece away with the spoon that he’d also brought, taking a bite of the breakfast dessert.

Seokmin smiled. “I’m actually not the biggest fan of lemon,” he said. I stopped chewing. “I hate to turn down a gift, but I really don’t usually eat this. If only there was someone who loved lemon so much they’d eat two lemon tarts for breakfast.”

I glared at him. There was no way I was going to accept the second tart. “You’re lying. Who doesn’t like lemon?”

“Lemon in things is fine! But lemon flavored dessert? I don’t want my desserts to attack me,” he said. “Lemon is always so strong.”

I shrugged, pushing away the tarts, not wanting to look at the evidence of my embarrassing defeat. “We actually need to be productive today. The first assignment for the project is due this weekend, but we should probably get it done now since you have a tournament this weekend.”

I looked up to find Seokmin staring at me.

“What? Am I wrong?”

“Did you look up my schedule?”

“No! Well, I mean yes, but only to see what days you were busy,” I said.

“You should come to a game,” he said. It wasn’t the first time he’d invited me. On the first day of class, he introduced himself and told everyone to come to a game. At the first study session he told me again, but each time it felt more like an obligation to represent the team rather than an actual invitation.

Not like now, where he was watching me, clearly expecting a response.

“I’ll have to look at my schedule,” I mumbled, turning back to my computer.

“Come to a game, it’ll be fun, I promise!” I glanced up to see his lips pressed together in a pout.

“I think maybe I might be free on Saturday,” I said. “I’ll see if I can come to one of the games then.”

I thought Seokmin was about to hug me with how excited he was, literally cheering despite the fact that it was nine in the morning. He slid his chair closer to mine, bringing the lemon tarts next to my computer.

“Now, how do you feel about double breakfast?”

“There’s no way I’m going to eat the gift I got for you,” I said. “And I was serious about the project, we need to get it done unless you want to be working on it between games.”

“You’re going to let a perfectly good pastry go to waste because of pride?” Seokmin sighed. “I thought you cared about my feelings more than that.”

“Can you stop being dramatic and work on the project?” I elbowed him in the side, then regretted it when I remembered that he probably had bruises from someone doing the same thing only ten times more aggressively. “Sorry, that was dumb.”

“It’s okay.” Seokmin’s smile could have made a dead man smile. “You can make it up to me by eating this tart.”

Saturday morning came and I woke up feeling strange. Maybe it was because I couldn’t fall asleep the night before, tossing and turning, overthinking going to the game. I hadn’t seen Seokmin since class on Thursday, where he continued to gloat about his tart victory (I caved and ate the second one only because the class was environmental science and I didn’t want to contribute to food waste). I had gotten used to seeing Seokmin on Tuesdays and Thursdays for our study sessions and then class later in the day, but why did I find myself now counting down until I saw him again?

I laid in bed for a few minutes trying to determine if my stomach felt strange because of the tacos I made the night before or if it was just nerves. When I sat up, I immediately sprinted to the bathroom, barely making it before throwing up everything I ate the night before.

I curled up on the bathroom floor, leaning against the toilet. It was definitely not nerves. After thirty minutes of a horrible mixture of dry heaving and throwing up, I crawled back into bed, head pounding, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep and never wake up.

My sleep was restless, and the second time I woke up was marginally better. My stomach was already sore from throwing up and my body felt like it had been hit by a truck, but at I didn’t feel nauseous anymore. I checked the time and cursed when I realized I had already missed the first game. There was no way I could leave bed; thinking about crossing the apartment to get a glass of water was a herculean feat. I still found myself trying to work up the motivation to sit up.

I sent Seokmin a quick text in apology. I didn’t expect a response, but a couple minutes later, he wrote back.

seokmin! (group project): dont worry about it!!!! feel better <3 and drink lots of water and try to get some rest! :))

I felt even worse that he was being so nice about it. Or maybe I just wanted to see him. I pouted, until I remembered that our university livestreamed the games. The next game was supposed to start in a couple minutes, which made me wonder if Seokmin had been texting me when he shouldn’t have been.

When I pulled up the livestream link, they had just finished warmups, both teams spreading out on opposite sides of the field in a line as the announcers went over the lineup for both teams. I didn’t realize how many formalities the sport entailed. I guess I didn’t really know that much about sports in general, since no one in my family had any interest in them. My friends convinced me to go to a football game once in high school, but majority of the appeal for students was pregaming and partying, neither of which enticed me. It ended up being a boring, uneventful night, and our team didn’t even win.

According to Seokmin, our soccer team was having an unprecedented season, with only one loss (that he said was because the referees made terrible calls). He said something about having really good defense, and this freshman who was incredible. The real reason, apparently, was that some major drama had finally been resolved last year. He didn’t elaborate any further, and I had the feeling I shouldn’t push him on it.

When the lineups were over, they spread out across the field. I could see some pattern with how they were arranged, the teams almost reflecting each other. I picked out Seokmin surprisingly easily. The way he held himself was different, shoulders back, relaxed. It helped that he was clearly joking around with another of the players, getting pushed to the side as the timer counted down to the start of the game.

As soon as the game started, he changed. He still looked relaxed, but there was a seriousness to him that I only ever saw when he was doing something related to soccer. I mostly followed the ball, watching as Seokmin weaved between players of either team, sometimes with the ball, passing it back and forth with another of his teammates. They went back and forth many times, sometimes we had the ball, sometimes the other team, neither of them scoring, until Seokmin and one of his teammates were passing the ball back and forth, moving down towards the other side of the field. Seokmin gave a hard kick to one of the players that was ahead of him, who danced around one of the other teams defenders then swung back and sent the ball perfectly into the other team's goal.

Seokmin threw his arms into the air and even though there was no audio, I could hear his cheer, sprinting to the other player who made the goal and wrapping him in a hug that lifted the smaller boy off his feet for a couple seconds. I realized at some point I had started grinning.

There were only a few minutes left in the first half. I found myself captivated by the game as one of our players got the ball from the other team before they could try to kick it into our goal, sending it halfway across the field to where Seokmin was waiting. There weren’t very many of the other team back that far, and Seokmin and another teammate passed the ball back and forth and moved down the field with ease. This time it was Seokmin who got a shot off. I held my breath as the other goalie made a dive for the ball, but he was a little too slow and the ball made it past him.

Seokmin broke into a cheer again, half the team tackling him. They reorganized quickly, only a few seconds of the first half remaining. Once the timer ran out, they were chaos again, hugging Seokmin and the other player who scored, not letting them collapse onto the bench until they’d all given him a high five or smacked his back.

I fully intended on watching the second half, but until it started, I figured I could let my eyes rest.

The next thing I knew, I woke up to my phone ringing.

“Hello?” I mumbled, answering without checking the caller ID, my eyes barely open.

“Hey, what’s your address?”

“Seokmin?” I frowned. Everything in my head felt a little sticky.

“Sorry, did I wake you up?”

“No,” I mumbled.

“Are you sure?”

“I mean, you woke me up, but it’s fine,” I said. I wondered if I was really awake or if I was dreaming. It felt like I was dreaming.

Seokmin sighed through the phone. “I really didn’t mean to disturb your rest, though I got a little worried when you didn’t answer my texts.”

That’s sweet, I thought. At least I thought it was in my head, until Seokmin laughed.

“Now, what’s your address?” He asked.

“You can’t come here!” I said. “I’ll get you sick!”

“If I promise not to come without your explicit permission, will you give me your address?”

I was too tired to argue with him, so I just gave him my address.

“Thank you,” he said. “You should get some rest, but I’m going to call you again later, okay?”

“Okay,” I said, trying to remember why I was awake.

“Sweet dreams,” was the last thing I heard before drifting off back to sleep.

When I woke for the fourth and final time that day, it was not to his phone call, but the doorbell. I dragged myself out of bed, surprised that I felt stable walking to the door. When I opened it, there was no one there, but a delivery bag was sitting on my placemat. I brought it inside, setting it on the table. On the receipt, it said Name: Lee Seokmin. I frowned.

The phone call hadn’t been a dream? I dug through the blankets in my bed, finally finding my phone completely dead. I plugged it in, waiting for it to turn on. There were ten messages from him and two missed calls. I immediately felt guilty, opening the messages to find everything from are you okay? to if you don’t answer the next time i call i’m calling 911.

me: i’m sorry! my phone died!!!

seokmin! (group project): YOURE ALIVE

seokmin! (group project): i wasn’t joking about calling 911 btw

me: you’re kinda dramatic

seokmin! (group project): says the one that almost died

me: i’m fine!! it was just some food poisoning i think

seokmin! (group project): did you get the food???

I opened the bag to find a bowl of soup, the broth still warm, ready to be poured into the noodles and vegetables.

me: i did, thank you!!! you really didn’t have to do this though!

seokmin! (group project): you think i’m going to take it easy on you just because your sick?

seokmin! (group project): THIS IS WAR!

me: you’re*

seokmin! (group project): im blocking you

I grinned, pouring the soup and feeling better by the second.

me: fine you win today but i’m still not giving up

seokmin! (group project): it’s like 7-0 are you sure?

me: shut up

me: also!!!! you did so good today!!

seokmin! (group project): i thought u were sick??

me: i watched the livestream!

me: actually it was like.. half of it, i kinda fell asleep. that’s why my phone died

me: BUT I SAW YOU SCORE!

seokmin! (group project): i feel honored, no one has ever watched me on their deathbed

me: does this mean we’re tied????

seokmin! (group project): … only because i’m worried you’ll pass out from shock if i say no

me: i’m feeling fine now!!!!

seokmin! (group project): eat the soup and be happy that you tied today

me: &lt;3333333

I set my phone down, taking another bite of the soup. Yet again, Seokmin was able to order me something I loved, despite never actually going out to eat with me. He must have been some kind of secret mind reader.

I pulled my knees to my chest, thinking about him. He was nice, too nice, like a cupcake topped with too much frosting that made me giddy with a sugar high. I pulled up the picture of him from our athletics page, grinning in his soccer uniform. The other players had serious faces, or smiles that were clearly for the camera. Only Seokmin was grinning as if he’d just told a joke and was waiting for everyone else to laugh. Just looking at him smiling was enough to make me smile.

Oh no. I quickly closed out of the picture, tossing my phone back down, but it was too late. Maybe it was the post-sickness exhaustion and when I woke up I would realize how silly I was being. Or maybe the post-sickness exhaustion was enough to finally make me admit my feelings to myself.

I liked Seokmin.

I was definitely not nervous. I sat in the study room, determined not to tap my fingers, or bounce my leg, or do anything that might indicate that I was nervous because I was most definitely not nervous. It was just a study session, a regular study session, and nothing had changed, there had been no life changing revelations whatsoever.

Seokmin arrived exactly at 9, for the first time ever. Despite how I felt while waiting, as soon as he walked through the door I was at ease. Maybe it was his smile, which enveloped me like a hug, or maybe it was just him, but I couldn’t help looking at him and feeling like everything was… right.

“Good morning!” He said, setting down a hot drink in front of me. Even though it was early October, most days it was still warm out, and definitely not cool enough to warrant hot drinks.

I slid my drink to him in a defensive maneuver. It wasn’t my best move, since it was the same iced coffee he’d ordered when we went to the cafe the first time we met, but at least I was guaranteed he would like it.

He raised his eyebrow but accepted the drink, sliding the steaming cup towards me. “It’s ginger lemon tea,” he said. “It might not be the tastiest, but you were sick.” He was seriously the sweetest person I had ever met.

“Thank you,” I said. “Though I told you it was just food poisoning and I’m fine now.”

He shrugged. “Sentimental caring, I think that means I win yet again. I didn’t even have to use my cheat card. I thought this was supposed to be hard.”

He might have gotten me with the teasing before, but I had come prepared today. He paused at my smile as I dug through my backpack, pulling out my most prized possession. My copy of Pride and Prejudice, with nearly ten years worth of annotations and notes, half the pages covered in sticky notes. I set it on the table in front of him.

“Pride and Prejudice?” He read the title. “Is that based on Pride and Prejudice and Zombies?”

I started to laugh, before I realized he wasn’t joking. “Seokmin, that movie is based on the book.”

“That makes so much more sense,” he said. “I can’t believe I’ve never heard of it.”

“You’ve never heard of Pride and Prejudice?”

“I mean, I watched the zombie movie. It was pretty good, actually,” Seokmin said.

I wasn’t sure how to respond for a long moment. Seokmin picked up the book, glancing at the sticky notes.

“It’s my annotated copy,” I said. “I got it for my tenth birthday and I’ve read it at least once a year ever since. It just never gets old- like every time I read it I get something new. It’s been foundational for how I think about myself and romance and what I want in a partner.”

Seokmin paused. “And what is that?”

“Well, you should read it and see what you think,” I said, laughing at his groan. “You didn’t think it would be that easy did you?”

He picked up the book again, and I didn’t miss how gently he flipped through the pages, turning them one by one without damaging the pages or my notes. Maybe this wasn’t the right gift for him. I thought about it and realized I had never actually seen him reading a book. Maybe this was too much pushing myself onto him, forcing him into something that I liked.

“I will read this entire book if you watch Pride and Prejudice and Zombies with me right now,” he said, setting it down. “Cover to cover, every word, every little scribble.”

“It doesn’t work like that! It’s a gift, I’m not forcing you to read it!”

“I want to read it,” Seokmin said. “I just also need you to watch the movie.”

“We’re in a study room.”

“We can always do other things.” He winked and I turned to my backpack, digging through to find my laptop.

“We should work on the project,” I mumbled, avoiding his eyes.

“Come on,” he said, tugging on the sleeve of my jacket. “We just turned in part of the project, we don’t have to do work.”

“Technically we could study,” I said. I watched him pout out of the corner of my eye, fingers still playing with the fabric of my jacket.

“Fine,” I said. “Just for today.” Seokmin cheered and I wondered if that was what he sounded like when they scored a goal. I had already promised him I would go to the next game that I could, but I realized that I really wanted to know what he sounded like.

“You won’t regret it, I promise, it’s actually a good movie!”

“Does this mean I win today”? I smiled, confident in my victory. I settled back in my chair as Seokmin pulled up the movie. He turned to his backpack, and I thought he was just getting his charger for his laptop, but when he turned to face me, he held something in his fist. He gestured for me to hold out my hand. When I did, he opened his fist, dropping a tiny, beaded bracelet into my hand.

“It’s handmade,” he said. “Not by me, because I suck at this. My teammate was making them because he may or may not be dating someone, it’s weirdly unclear, but I begged him to make one for you too, but don’t worry I picked out the colors, so I contributed!”

I stared at it in my hand, alternating yellow and white beads with a smiley face and some flowers interspersed in between and right in the middle, a bigger white bead that had a giant black heart in the middle. It doesn’t mean anything, I told myself over and over and over again.

“You don’t have to wear it or anything,” Seokmin said. “I don’t want you to think of it as a burden or anything, and if you don’t like it-”

“I love it,” I said, slipping it onto my wrist and flashing him a smile that he returned in an instant.

“Really?” He asked, the smile somehow translating to his voice.

I nodded, running my fingers over the beads. “Really.”

“That looks like another win for Seokmin,” he said, ignoring how I gaped at him and turning back to turn on the movie.

I couldn’t stay upset at him for long, especially not when I looked at my wrist. I still couldn’t decide what his intentions were; sometimes I was sure that he was flirting but then I would wonder if it was just wishful thinking. A bracelet like this was cute but he hadn’t even made it and for all I knew he didn’t realize how giving jewelry as a gift could be considered flirting. Maybe I was being the weird one for overthinking this gift. Besides, he was an athlete, he was probably just really competitive.

I ran my fingers over the beads and came to a decision. Overthinking it wasn’t going to solve anything. I had no way of knowing unless I asked Seokmin, but until I was ready for that, I was just going to have to settle for living somewhere in between.

I relaxed in the chair a little, letting my head rest on his shoulder lightly at first, then completely when he leaned into me, sliding our chairs a little closer together. I glanced at my wrist and this time I smiled.

“You have to admit that it was a good movie,” Seokmin said. For the first time, we walked into the library together. We had run into each other in the cafe and ordered while staring each other down. We agreed to call it a draw for the day.

“I will admit that it was better than I expected,” I said. It wasn’t technically true, I had actually rather enjoyed the movie, but I wasn’t going to let him win so easily, especially not when I had yet to win a battle in this war.

“You enjoyed it, I saw you smiling,” he said. He held the door for me as we entered the library.

I shook my head. “I was just happy we weren’t studying.” We reached the librarian desk and I asked for our regular room.

“Sorry,” the woman said. “All the rooms are booked.”

“Seriously? It’s nine in the morning!”

She shrugged. “It’s midterm season.”

I turned to Seokmin after thanking her. We stepped away, but the library was packed, study groups very loudly not studying, people with headphones that clearly didn’t want to be disturbed, and everything in between. I realized I had taken our beloved little study room for granted as I looked at the chaos that was the rest of the library.

“Do you want to study here?” Seokmin asked. I could tell he was as excited by this idea as I was. I shook my head and we walked back out together. I would have suggested we study outside, but the weather had decided to be aware it was fall, and I was shivering through all of my layers.

We walked toward the science building since they had just redone it and the chairs were the only ones on campus that were under ten years old. Seokmin was a few inches away from me but the distance felt like miles, especially in this cold. I didn’t think he noticed, but halfway across the quad he was pulling off his jacket, offering it to me.

“Aren’t you cold?” I asked.

“Athletes run hot blooded.” He stuck it over my arms but because of my backpack, he had to do it backwards. I instantly felt warmer, the heat from his body still clinging to the fabric. I caught a whiff of his laundry detergent, a scent I couldn’t name but smelled distinctly clean, as he pulled the jacket as high up as he could. He stepped away in his T-shirt, but I caught a glimpse of the bare skin of his arms.

“I can see your goosebumps, let’s go inside,” I said, grabbing his hand through the sleeve that had been a little too long for my arms and tugging him down the path. I didn’t let go of his hand until we arrived at the science building and even then I was reluctant to see his hand drop from mine. We warmed up quickly in the heat and I handed him his jacket back.

“Hang onto it,” he insisted. “It can be my gift for today.”

I hoped I didn’t show any signs of the sinking heart I felt on the inside. “Well now I’m definitely not taking it.”

“Well neither am i.” He folded his arms. “Besides, it looks better on you.” He turned away, walking up the stairs and I had no choice but to follow, jacket in my arms. My heart was doing acrobatics as I tried not to overthink the compliment. He was just trying to get me to take the jacket.

We finally found a secluded room in a corner that said ‘Silent Room,’ but was barely big enough for two people and had a door, so we figured we wouldn’t bother anyone by talking. It was filled with old chemistry books that had so much dust I doubted they’d ever been touched. I sat next to Seokmin on the tiny bench, just barely not touching. I pulled out my laptop, trying very hard not to think about how if I leaned just a tiny bit to the side, I’d be brushing against his arm.

I groaned when my reminders popped up, laying my head on the table.

“What’s wrong,” he asked.

“My mistakes are coming back to bite me in the ass,” I said. “Can’t I just drop out?”

“Do you want to vent or do you want actual advice?” He asked. I turned to look at him, my cheek pressing against the wood.

“I want to never write this essay.”

He laughed and patted my head a couple times, distracting me for a moment by making my heart flutter. “I think you chose the wrong major for that.”

“It’s not essay writing in general,” I explained, sitting up and sighing. “It’s this essay that I don’t want to write.”

“Does this have anything to do with your lack of motivation to do work last week?”

I pulled my lips together in a pout. “Why do you have to be so perceptive?”

“It’s one of my charms,” he said with a smile that quickly faded, brow furrowing, eyes trained on me. He was… worried? “Do you want to talk about it today?”

“Not really,” I said. “But it’s sort of due tomorrow.”

“Have you started it?”

I shook my head.

“Do I want to know how long it is?”

“Probably not.”

“Should we even be studying today? Shouldn’t you work on your essay?”

I shook my head. “The whole point of studying is that I get to do something productive while avoiding my problems.”

“That doesn’t sound right, but I’ve worked out instead of doing my homework, so I don’t think I can really argue with you,” Seokmin said. “But seriously, is it hard? Is it a research paper or something?”

“No, it’s a personal reflection.”

“Aren’t those usually really easy? Like, you can just sort of write whatever, they can’t dock points because you’re weird.”

“It’s more about actually writing it.” He looked confused, so I added, “The prompt is about who you want to be, and I don’t know, it’s like most of the time I don’t really know the answer to that, it’s hard enough to know who I am now, and I don’t really particularly want to have an identity crisis for an essay that’s for a 100 level class, you know?

“Sometimes I don’t feel like I deserve to be here, like my application got switched or something and I’m not actually qualified to be here and I know it’s sort of dumb, and sometimes I really feel like I’m doing well, but writing an essay that asks me to think about my future sort of feels like torture.” I was staring at the wood of the table, the places where people had scribbled onto the desk curse words, doodles, their lovers names (and a lot of dicks).

“Just write about that, then,” Seokmin said. I raised my head to meet his eyes and he was serious. “Write about your indecisiveness, how you don’t know what you want, and all of that fun existential stuff.” I chewed on my lip, contemplating his suggestion. It would probably work, and definitely would be easier than trying to actually think of an answer to the prompt.

“It would work, right?” Seokmin asked and I realized I’d been quiet for too long.

I nodded slowly. “Probably.” I paused. “Thank you.”

He shrugged. “You were kind of overthinking the whole thing, I think. Like, I know it’s scary to think about the future, but I don’t think your professor expects a full on step by step plan from a 19 year old either. Also.” He paused, as if he wasn’t sure he should continue. “Yn, you are incredibly smart. Don’t ever think that you don’t belong.”

“Thank you,” I said, voice barely louder than a whisper.

“I meant it,” he said, dropping his head, as if he just remembered to be shy. “Hey, if you write the essay about that, does that mean I win today?”

“Is it all just a competition to you?” I asked before I could stop myself. I frowned at him. I had already said it, I might as well commit. “Seokmin, I don’t get you.”

“Yn-”

“I have to write the essay,” I said, grabbing my bag and stuffing my laptop into it. I ran away before he could say anything else. I shivered in the cold as I left the building, not sure if I was hoping he would chase after me or he would leave me alone. I realized I was still holding his jacket but there was no way I was going back now. I held it against my chest, wondering what I had just done.

It wasn’t fair of me to blow up on him like that, but I was tired of this back and forth. Every time I was sure he was flirting, he brought up the competition and I couldn’t tell what was real anymore. I knew that when I was with him he made everything feel like it was going to be okay. I was now beginning to realize how much it would hurt if he didn’t feel the same way.

I fiddled with the jacket, running my fingers over the embroidered Lee Seokmin #10. I had to work up all of my courage to get up on Saturday morning and drag myself to the soccer field. Despite the fact that I hadn’t spoken to Seokmin since that morning and I had ignored his texts and calls since, I had promised to go to the game. I wasn’t going to break that promise, not because of the competition, but because it was a promise.

I sat in the bleachers, tugging his jacket tighter on my shoulders. I had brought it with every intention of giving it back, but it was a lot colder than I expected, and I found myself wrapping it around my shoulders a couple minutes after sitting down.

It was an early game, so there weren’t many people in the stands. Most of them were bundled up and huddled together against the wind. I sat alone, wishing I’d invited a friend. The problem was, the person I wanted to invite the most was on the field.

There was a bunch of cheering from my side as they announced the lineup, and I realized half of the school’s volleyball team was in the bleachers. I supposed teams supporting each other probably wasn’t uncommon. I was the last to know whether this was abnormal or not.

I didn’t know enough about soccer to really know what was going on. As the game started, I followed the excitement of the crowd, which had perked up a little at the volleyball team’s cheering. It was fun to watch, and it would have been better than when I watched the livestream if it wasn’t so cold. I was shaking by the end of the first half, though jumping up and cheering when they scored a goal had helped a little. If they just kept scoring goals, maybe I would stay warm.

The second half was more intense, the other team trying hard to score as our team scored again, and then again. They finally got a goal in during the last ten minutes, but it was too late, and the final score was 3-1.

The cowardly part of me wanted to run away as soon as the game was over but I had been avoiding him for too long, and it was too late because he was sprinting across the field as soon as they were done shaking hands, waving at me. I took a deep breath. There was no escape now. I stepped down from the bleachers, meeting him at the fence that came up to my waist.

“Hi,” I said, wishing I could be a little more confident.

“I didn’t think you’d come.” He didn’t seem upset, glancing at my shivering.

“I-”

“Seokmin!” One of his teammates shouted. “Let’s go!” The rest of the team was grouped together at their bench with the coach in some post game meeting.

“Wait for me,” he said. “Please.” Then he sprinted across the field, making it fast enough that I was impressed. I rubbed my fingers together, trying to make sure the circulation didn’t die, then made sure my toes were still intact. How did the weather change so quickly?

The meeting was only a couple minutes long but I lost Seokmin in the throng of soccer players. It was even harder to pick him out when I realized they had all pulled on layers over their jerseys. He was halfway across the field, bag bouncing on his shoulder, before I realized it was him.

I should have been more nervous, but mostly I was too cold to let it affect me anymore. I had spent enough time running from my feelings anyways.

“Thanks for waiting,” he said when he reached me. It was painfully quiet for a moment. I fought the urge to reach out and brush the hair out of his eyes.

“I need to apologize,” I said at the same time he said, “I have something to tell you.”

It was weird for things to be awkward between us.

“You go first,” he said.

I took a deep breath. “I owe you an apology. Just let me finish, please,” I said when he opened his mouth to interrupt. “I shouldn’t have gotten upset with you, at least not without telling you why. I also have been avoiding you for the past couple days, which I feel bad about also. The thing is, I realized that I realized something and once I realized I couldn’t ignore it, and then I started overthinking and I ended up lashing out on you, which isn’t fair. I’m really sorry about that.

“I really like you, Seokmin,” I said. “When I’m around you… I’m happy.” It felt weak to say ‘happy,’ but I couldn’t think of any other way to express how when I was around him it felt like I would never stop smiling, like if I had him by my side for the rest of my life, no matter what happened I would be able to handle it. He made me dream of the future when the future terrified me.

“I know the competition was a joke, but I think it made me realize how sweet you are and I’m sorry for getting upset that you were just being nice when I wanted more.” Once it was out loud, I felt better, like I could at least stand up tall.

Seokmin was smiling, but he was always smiling. He rested his hands on top of mine over the fence, warmth seeping through to my fingers immediately.

“Your fingers are freezing,” he said.

“Well I promised someone I’d sit outside in the freezing cold for him,” I said. He slid his hands to wrap them around my fingers, rubbing them between his fingers and thumbs, the warmth spreading to my whole body.

“Is it my turn?”

I nodded.

“I really like you, too,” he said. “I tried to use the silly competition to flirt, but I don’t think I did a very good job.”

“Really?” I whispered.

Seokmin laughed at me. “Really.”

I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips, quickly pulling away. Seokmin took a moment to react, face frozen before breaking into his sunshine smile.

“Your lips are freezing,” he said.

“I’m freezing,” I said. He pulled me closer, hugging me over the fence, and even though he smelled a little bit like sweat, it was the best hug of my life. I only let go so that he could hop the fence, immediately lacing his fingers back with mine.

“I was going to give this back to you,” I said, pulling on the jacket with my free hand.

“I meant what I said, it looks better on you.” He pulled the hood up, pulling on the strings so that my face could only be seen through a tiny hole then laughed how I must have looked. He caught my other hand, lifting it so that the jacket fell back and he could see the bracelet that still sat on my wrist. I didn’t miss his nod of approval. I leaned into his shoulder as we walked, marveling at how much warmth he had, not just on the outside, but how just by holding his hand, I was unfreezing from the inside out. He was my own personal sun.

“Seokmin?”

“What is it?”

“I like you.”

“I like you, too.”

#🌟 stars galaxy #svt reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen x reader #svt fluff #svt #seventeen #lee seokmin #lee seokmin x reader #dk #dk x reader #dokyeom #dokyeom x reader #soccer boys!

[zebarius]

Mumbo's latest video "The End" was a shot to the heart man.

It really sucks that he had to struggle during so much of season 9 of Hermitcraft. Existential crisis has and always will be a bitch and the pressure of your own high expectations is equally as torturous.

I'm so happy he's feeling better mentally though, and I hope he can have more fun in the upcoming season!

#hermitcraft #mumbo #mumbo jumbo #hermitcraft mumbo