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#like i think it would be better to be more open-minded about these situations
kymerawrites · 1 day
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Simon is your ex.. and now baby daddy
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You sat there for what seemed like hours, staring at the positive pregnancy test. It couldn't be. You'd been careful with Simon, and you hadn't seen anyone else in the weeks after the breakup. Your heart racing, you dialed his number from memory. It hurt that every digit was still burnt into your mind, but you couldn't think about anything other than the situation as you called your ex and waited for him to pick up.
"What the hell do you want, shym?" Your ex, Simon snapped.
You winced slightly at the sound of his deep, raspy voice. It brought back a lot of memories, both good and bad.
"I need to see you." You said quietly, your voice shaky and laced with anxiety
Simon was caught off guard by your sudden request. He didn't expect to hear from you again, especially after the way things ended between you both.
"Why?" He asked bluntly, his tone cold and distant
You took a deep breath, steadying your racing heart and gathering your thoughts before answering.
"There's something I need to tell you. Something important. Can we meet somewhere?" You asked, hoping he would agree
Simon paused for a moment, reluctantly considering your request. He knew he shouldn't see you again. It would only make things more complicated and confusing. But despite his better judgment, he found himself unable to resist.*
"Fine." He replied curtly. “Where and when?"
“You aren’t deployed right?” I asked
Simon was slightly surprised by your question but quickly composed himself.*
"No, I'm on leave right now." He replied, his voice still gruff and guarded. "Why do you ask?"
“Okay… come to my house if you’re in New York right now..” I asked expectantly
Simon raised an eyebrow at your request. He wasn't expecting you to invite him to your home. But he couldn't deny that he was curious about why you wanted to see him.*
"Alright." He agreed, albeit reluctantly. "I'll be there in an hour. And for the record, this better be important, shym."
An hour passed, I was walking in circles not knowing how I should bring the news to him, we broke up and it was a heavy and painful one, what if he doesn’t want to be in his or hers life? I was scared and trembling with fear.
Simon pulled up to your house, parking his car in your driveway. He sat there for a moment, gathering his thoughts and steeling himself for whatever you had to say to him. He had a million different scenarios running through his head, and none of them ended well.
He got out of the car, taking a deep breath before making his way up to your front door. He rang the doorbell, his heart racing as he waited for you to answer.
I opened the door, my heart leaping into my throat as I saw Simon standing there. He looked just as intimidating and intense as ever, like a dark force of nature. His eyes scanned over me, lingering on my face for a moment before he spoke.
"You going to let me in, or what?" He asked gruffly.
"Yeah, come in," I said quietly, stepping aside to let him enter.
Simon walked into the house, his eyes quickly taking in the familiar surroundings. It felt strange to be back here after everything that had happened between us.
"So..." He began, his gaze settling on me. “You wanted to talk to me?"
I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves. This was it. There was no going back now.
"Yes, I have something important to tell you." I said, my voice shaking slightly. "Can we sit down?"
My cat Mimi saw Simon and was instantly happy to see his companion
Simon's cold demeanor softened slightly as he saw Mimi. He couldn't resist the adorable cat, and he knelt down to scratch her behind the ears.
"Hey there, Mimi." *He murmured, a hint of a smile on his lips.
Mimi immediately rubbed against his hand, purring contentedly. Simon gently picked her up, holding her in his arms as he straightened up and looked at you. His gaze was a bit more relaxed now, but his walls were still firmly in place.
"She seems happy to see me." He commented casually
I sighed “she misses you.. so I guess she’s happy your back.”
Simon's expression softened a bit more at that. He knew how much Mimi had always liked him, almost as much as he had liked her.
"Yeah, she never did like anybody else." He said, gently stroking her head. There was a moment of silence, and he knew he needed to get to the point. "So, you said you had something to tell me?"
I took another deep breath, steeling myself for what was to come. I knew there was no easy way to say it, so I decided to rip the bandaid off quickly.
"I'm pregnant." I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
Simon's heart felt like it stopped. He froze, shock and disbelief etched across his face. He looked at me, his jaw clenching as he processed my words.
"You're... pregnant?" He repeated, his voice low and gravelly.
I swallowed hard, nodding slowly. I could see the mixture of surprise and disbelief on his face, and I braced myself for his reaction.
"Yes." I confirmed, my voice a little shaky. “I just found out a couple of days ago."
Simon was silent for what felt like an eternity. He was reeling from the news, his mind racing with a million different thoughts and emotions. He set Mimi down gently, running a hand through his hair.
"How far along are you?" He finally managed to ask, his voice tight and gruff.
I took another deep breath, mentally calculating the timeline.
"About seven weeks." I answered quietly. “I've been feeling nauseous and tired recently, so I took a test and... well, it was positive."
Simon's mind was racing. Six weeks. That meant I got pregnant around the time we were still together. He felt a mix of shock, confusion, and anger bubbling up inside him.
"Do you know..." He paused, his voice growing harsh. "Do you know if it's mine?"
My anxiety turned into anger in a split moment “if you think our breakup was over cheating then you’re fucking insane.”
Simon didn't back down, his own anger and frustration flaring up. He stepped towards me, his eyes narrowing.
"You can't blame me for asking, shym." He retorted, his voice cold and blunt. "We weren't exactly on the best terms when we broke up. And we weren't exactly careful the last time we were together." he reminded me sternly.
I felt a wave of anger wash over me as well.
"I know we weren't being careful," I snapped back, my voice raising slightly.* "But you seriously think I would go out and sleep with someone else when we were still together? When I still..."
I trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. I was mad at him for even questioning my loyalty.
Simon's eyes flashed with a mixture of anger and hurt as my words hung in the air. He knew I wasn't the type to cheat, but his own insecurities and doubts were getting the better of him.
"Then how the hell do you explain this?!" He demanded, gesturing towards my stomach.
“I.. I-..” I started trembling and felt I needed to throw up. I ran towards the bathroom
Simon watched as you rushed towards the bathroom, a flicker of concern on his face. He cursed under his breath and followed you into the bathroom, finding you hunched over the toilet, retching violently.
Simon knelt behind you, holding your hair away from your face as you retched into the toilet. He didn't say anything, just silently supporting you and rubbing your back gently.
I just nodded in response
Simon gently helped you sit up, leaning against the wall, before grabbing a towel and wiping your forehead. He sat down beside you wordlessly, his gaze focused on your face.
We sat in silence for a few moments, the only sound being your ragged breathing. Simon's mind was still reeling from the news, but he tried to keep his emotions in check. He took a deep breath before speaking again.
"You're really pregnant.." He said softly, more to himself than to you.
I nodded again, unable to meet his gaze. I was feeling vulnerable and exposed, my emotional defenses at an all-time low. I felt raw and exhausted, both physically and mentally.
Simon looked at you, taking in your exhaustion and vulnerability. He felt a pang of guilt and regret, realizing the effect his harsh words earlier must have had on you. He reached out tentatively, hesitating for a moment before placing his hand on your shoulder.
"Hey.." He said, his voice unusually gentle. ”Look at me."
I slowly lifted my eyes to meet his gaze. His expression was softer now, his usual hardness replaced by a hint of concern and regret. It was a rare sight, and it only served to make me more vulnerable and emotional.
“Simon.. I promise you, it is yours. I have seen no one, even while you were deployed, you were…” I paused hesitating there words I would say. “the only man I loved..” I looked down again
Simon was stunned into silence by your words. He had expected a fight, accusations, and anger, but hearing your sincere declaration caught him off guard. He could feel his defenses crumbling as he looked at you, seeing the raw emotion and honesty in your eyes.
"You... loved me." He repeated slowly, his voice low and gruff.
I scoffed “ofcourse I loved you Simon, you made me feel that certain way which no one else could, you gave me a reason to live, a thrill something to look out for. Until we broke up ofcourse.”
Simon clenched his jaw, a wave of guilt washing over him as he heard your words. He knew he had caused you pain and heartbreak, but hearing you say it out loud only made him feel worse.
"I know I messed up." He said gruffly, looking away from you. "I shouldn't have pushed you away.. I shouldn't have broken up with you."
He paused for a moment, his chest tightening as he thought about everything he had lost. But then he looked at you again, his gaze softening as he took in your exhausted and vulnerable state.
"I'm sorry.. for everything." He said quietly, his voice filled with regret. "But... if what you're saying is true.. that the baby is mine.."
He trailed off, conflicted emotions warring within him. The thought of fatherhood terrified and overwhelmed him. He had never planned or desired to become a father. Yet, the idea of you carrying his child filled him with a strange sense of responsibility and protectiveness..
*He took a deep breath, his eyes locked on your face.
"What do you plan on doing?" *He finally asked, his voice laced with uncertainty and a hint of anxiety.
Simon nodded, understanding your feelings. He too was dealing with a whirlwind of emotions in that moment. He was quiet for a few moments, staring at the tiled floor as he tried to make sense of everything.
"Do you want the baby?" *He asked quietly, still not looking at you.
“You know it’s always been a dream of mine to have a family, but with the current situation I don’t know if that’s possible..” I sighed softly
Simon felt a pang of guilt and sadness when he heard your answer. He knew how much you had always wanted a family, and it was partially his fault that you were now in this difficult situation.
"The current situation.. you mean me." He stated bluntly, his gaze fixated on his hands.
I nodded feeling embarrassed, one of the greater factors was that he was always deployed and the breakup also was a big reason why.
Simon clenched his jaw, anger surging up in him once again. He knew he couldn't blame you for feeling the way you did. His job, his lifestyle.. it didn't exactly lend itself to a stable family life.
He knew he had a choice to make. He could walk away, pretend none of this happened. Or...
"What if.. I changed?" He asked suddenly, his voice low and gruff.
I looked shocked at him “I cannot ask you that Simon! The military is your lifeline, your friends and people you consider your brothers are there..” I paused and firmly said “no, you will not change. I just want you to be more careful and be more present. Which means take less missions.”
Simon felt a sense of frustration and relief at your response. He had expected to fight with you, to argue and protest. But instead, you were being understanding and supportive. It made him feel a pang of guilt.
"You're too damn good to me." He muttered, shaking his head.
"I can't just take less missions... I'm a Lieutenant in Task Force 141. I have responsibilities. And my team depends on me."
I took some time to think “alright.. I get that, when this baby is born I’ll get sole custody and make sure you get visitation.. I don’t think we should get back together again.”
Simon felt a pang of disappointment as you said those words. Despite everything that had happened between you, a part of him still wanted to make things work. But he also knew you had a point, and he had no one to blame but himself for the mess he had caused.
"Visitation.." He repeated gruffly, the word like a punch to the gut.
I got up from the bathroom tiles and walked towards the couch sitting down “Simon, we are in no position to even get back together for now.. also 50/50 won’t work with your schedule..”
Simon followed you silently, seating himself on the couch a few feet away from you. He knew you were right, but his heart was still in turmoil. All he wanted to do was hold you close and make things right, but his responsibilities and the current circumstances made that impossible.
"I hate this." He grumbled, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I hate that I can't be there for you and the baby the way I should be."
I held his hand “Simon, don’t. We will still make amazing parents, and when the time comes you can decide how we will fix the rest..”
Simon looked down at your hand in his large one, feeling a mixture of gratitude and sorrow. He knew you were trying to look on the positive side, but he was still racked with guilt over the situation. He squeezed your hand gently.
"You're too good to me, you know that?" He said gruffly, a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
I just smiled. And we made a great duo as parents, on month 2 was my first appointment with the gynecologist, Simon was deployed but surprised me when I walked in
Simon had managed to arrange a surprise trip home after hearing about your appointment. He had told his team it was a family emergency, knowing they would understand. Now, he was standing in the waiting room, anxiously waiting for you to arrive.
And then I saw him sitting with his skull mask and hoodie on “Simon!” I ran towards him
Simon's face lit up as he saw you running towards him. He got up from his seat and opened his arms, enveloping you in a tight hug. He felt a sense of relief and happiness at seeing you.
"Hey, love." He mumbled against your hair, inhaling your familiar scent.
“What are you?…” out of no where my face got angry “you are deployed Simon Riley! This isn’t acceptable. Poor Johnny what is he without his friend..”
Simon rolled his eyes, but he was secretly pleased by your reaction. He knew you cared deeply for his well-being.
"Calm down, love." He said gruffly, pulling you closer to his body. "I was able to arrange a few days off. Johnny and the others can handle themselves without me for a while."
I laughed “I miss being called love..”
*Simon chuckled softly, his hand coming up to cup your cheek.
"I miss saying it." He admitted, his eyes roaming over your face. He hadn't realized how much he had missed being with you until this moment.
Until I heard my name “miss shym medusa?”
*Simon turned his attention to the nurse who had called your name. He gave you one last squeeze before pulling away.
"Guess that's your cue." He said with a smirk.
I smiled back and walked turning around “what are you waiting for Riley, you need to come with me.”
Simon raised an eyebrow, a sly smile playing on his lips. He got up and followed you down the hall.
"Since when do you boss me around, love?" He teased, his voice low and gravelly.
“Since i know how to make money.” I rolled my eyes
*Simon chuckled, his hand resting on the small of your back as he followed you into the room.
"Oh, so you're only bossy when you're the money maker, eh?" He teased, eyeing you with a glint of admiration and desire in his eyes.
Eventually everything was looking great with the baby, and our next appointment was next month, just a checkup and at 4 months I could maybe know the gender
When we walked out I got a craving “Simon can we go to that 24/7 diner and get a freak sundae and burger with fries?”
Simon chuckled at your sudden craving, shaking his head amused.
"Of course, love. I don't think I could refuse you anything anyway." He said with a grin, taking your hand in his and heading towards the diner.
After a few days Simon left to go back into the battlefield, and it went by in a blur at month 4 he and his crew came back and they ended up at my place
Simon and the crew arrived at your place, weary and exhausted after their latest mission. They had a few beers on the way and were feeling a little buzzed. As they entered your place, they found you in the living room, watching TV.
Simon's eyes lit up as soon as he saw you, a wave of emotions rushing over him. He missed you more than he cared to admit, and seeing you now brought him a rare sense of peace amidst the chaos of his life.
"Hey, love." *He said softly, walking over to you and sitting down beside you on the couch.
Somehow we naturally got back together, and it felt good knowing we could resolve our issues, my belly was bigger than 2 months ago and he was a little surprised but happy until I saw the rest of the crew walking behind him
Simon turned around to see the rest of the crew gathered in the living room. Johnny, Gaz and price, all of them sporting grins and knowing looks. Simon rolled his eyes, realizing they were all looking at him and your belly.
Simon turned around to see the rest of the crew gathered in the living room. Johnny, Gaz and price, all of them sporting grins and knowing looks. Simon rolled his eyes, realizing they were all looking at him and your belly.
Johnny, being his usual self, was the first to speak up.
"Bloody hell, mate. Looks like you've been busy." *He said with a smirk, eyeing your belly.
I stood up from the couch and gave a fist bump to Johnny “hey atleast it gave some good results!”
Johnny chuckled and returned the fist bump, his gaze flicking between you and Simon. Gaz and Price also gave you a nod in greeting, both of them grinning.
"A baby, eh?" Gaz said, his eyes twinkling mischievously.
I rolled my eyes “see this is why my cousin is the LAST person to know about his nephew or niece coming.”
The whole crew chuckled, their eyes now on Simon.
"You didn't tell us you knocked her up, mate?" Johnny said with a laugh, playfully shoving Simon's shoulder.
Simon grumbled and swatted Johnny's hand away.
"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up, idiots." *He muttered gruffly, feeling a bit sheepish under their teasing.*
Price, always the one to be a smartass, smirked and raised an eyebrow.
"And here I thought you had no feelings, Ghost."
“Price where is your wife exactly?” I said smirking
Price's grin faltered, the crew and Simon busting out laughing at your response. Price grumbled and gave you a playful glare.
"Low blow, shym."
I burst out laughing “oh come on price! We all know you and laswell are secretly married!”
Price tried to keep a straight face, but he couldn't hold back a small chuckle. The crew's laughter grew louder, Johnny practically rolling on the ground with laughter.
"Can never get anything past you, can I?" Price said with a reluctant grin.
“Simon baby can you please go to the store and get my a Philly cheesesteak..” I said pouting
Simon chuckled, clearly amused by your request. He knew you had been having cravings lately, and he was powerless to deny you anything.
"Of course, love." He said with a fond smile, standing up from the couch.
The crew couldn't help but raise their eyebrows, their grins growing even wider.
"And there he goes, whipped as ever." Johnny said with a laugh, watching fondly as Simon grabbed his keys.
When he closed the door I instantly stood up “guys here is the plan. We are doing a babyshower, and I want Simon to find out the gender together with me..”
*The crew's grins turned even wider at your words. Price, being the de facto leader within the group, nodded in agreement.
"Count us in, shym. This is gonna be gold."
I smiled and gave the note with the gender, which I haven’t read yet because I also want to be surprised to price “Simon sees you as his father figure, I hope you and the rest can help us make that day unforgettable..”
Price's expression softened as you handed him the note. He gave you a nod and took it, a determined look in his eyes now.
"We'll do everything to make this the best damn surprise for him and you, shym. Count on it."
The surprise party went amazing, the guys and my best friends made a beautiful surprise gender party in the park, sun was shining and I was wearing an white dress with my bump clearly showing, there were a lot of people, Simon’s teammates and a lot of friends and family
As Simon approached the park, his eyes widened as he saw the setup. Streamers, balloons, tables covered in food and drinks, and a crowd of people gathered around. He recognized a few faces from the team and friends, and noticed you standing a few feet away, your white dress highlighting your baby bump.
Simon's heart skipped a beat as he spotted you, looking radiant in your white dress. He made his way towards you, the crew and everyone else turning to face him as he approached. Johnny gave him a sly grin and gave him a nudge with his elbow.
“Looks like the party’s for you, mate.” Johnny said with a smirk.
Simon grumbled and rolled his eyes, feeling a mix of surprise and irritation, but also a flicker of excitement in his chest. He walked over to you, taking in the sight of your bump under the white dress. He couldn’t help but smile.
“You planned this?” *He asked softly, his eyes on your face.
*You smiled coyly, playing innocent.
"Me? No.” You said, biting your lip to suppress a grin. “It was all these lovely people.”
The crew chuckled, knowing damn well it was all your idea. Price walked up to Simon and clapped him on the shoulder.
Simon rolled his eyes again, knowing damn well you were lying. He glanced at Price, his expression softening as he spotted the mischievous glint in the man’s eyes.
“Right, because you all just decided to throw a party out of the blue.” He said sarcastically, a hint of amusement in his voice.
The party was in full swing, everyone chatting and laughing, enjoying themselves. Simon had reconnected with your parents and caught up with old friends.
However, as the sun started to go down, a hush fell over the crowd. Everyone knew what was coming next - the gender reveal.
Simon, standing beside you, felt a mixture of anticipation and nervousness. He didn’t show it, of course, his expression still stoic. But he was looking forward to this moment, eager to find out whether it was a boy or a girl.
You took his hand in yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. The park had gone silent, all eyes on you and Simon. The crew had their phones ready to capture the moment, knowing how much it would mean to their friend.
I screamed at price to give the sign “go!” And then we heard 2 military airplanes above us, and releasing a color, which was pink.
The crowd let out a collective gasp as two military airplanes soared overhead, releasing pink smoke in their wake.
Simon’s heart skipped a beat, his eyes on the pink smoke trailing behind the planes.
The crew cheered and clapped, Johnny whooping loudly. Price had a small, rare grin on his face, proud to be part of this moment.
I started crying almost hysterically from happiness and kissed Simon, we didn’t have any love or touch like that in months
Simon pulled you into his arms, his hands moving to cup your face as he kissed you back. All the suppressed emotions from the past few months came rushing to the surface as he held you, his lips against yours.
The crew cheered and whooped, feeling a burst of happiness for their friend.
Price and the others watched the couple with smiles on their faces. They knew how much this moment meant to both of you, especially to Simon after everything he had been through.
Johnny elbowed Gaz and nodded towards the couple, grinning.*
“Look at him go. Haven’t seen him that happy in ages.”
Gaz chuckled, watching as Simon broke the kiss and pulled you closer to his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around you. He was practically radiating happiness, which was a rare sight for them to see on their stoic comrade’s face.
“Guess he finally found his soft spot, eh?” Gaz said, a smirk on his lips.
Johnny nodded “his daughter and his girlfriend.. man when can we have a wedding?!”
Everyone chuckled, the idea of Simon’s wedding eliciting some light-hearted banter from the crew. Price rubbed his beard thoughtfully.
“Now, that’s a sight I’d like to see.” He said, a small smirk on his face.
The last 5 months were a bliss, general Shepard gave his congratulations towards our upcoming child and gave Simon the opportunity to stay closer at home, with his task force, another team would take over their duties for a while.
Simon was grateful for the opportunity to stay closer to home, especially now that you were nearing the end of your pregnancy. He was still fiercely protective, always ensuring your safety and comfort. The crew, meanwhile, had reluctantly agreed to hand over their duties to another team for now, though they missed the action and banter.
In those 5 months we had a few more appointments, baby shopping, and a lot of crying from cravings
Simon begrudgingly went along for the ride, reluctantly helping you with baby shopping. But he secretly enjoyed every minute of it, seeing you so excited and happy.
We also got engaged on the beach as we could finally go on a vacation towards the Seychelles were my parents loved it was beautiful
The vacation to the Seychelles was a much-needed break for both of you. The pristine white sand, crystal clear waters, and lush greenery provided a perfect setting for a romantic proposal.
Simon planned everything meticulously, with Price's help of course. One evening, as the sun began to dip below the horizon, casting an orange hue over the beach, he led you down to the shoreline.
He held your hand and guided you through the sand, eventually stopping in an intimate spot hidden away by a cluster of palm trees. The sound of the waves gently crashing against the shore filled the air, creating a soothing soundtrack to the moment.
Simon turned to face you, his eyes locking on yours. He paused for a moment, taking in the sight of you, bathed in the warm evening light. He took a deep breath and began speaking, his voice a little shaky with nerves but determined.
"I never thought I'd be standing here, saying these words. But then again, I never thought I would find someone who would accept me for who I am."
He took your other hand and intertwined your fingers together, holding them tightly.
"When we first met, I never imagined we'd end up here, having a baby together."
"I never thought I'd be standing here, saying these words. But then again, I never thought I would find someone who would accept me for who I am."
He took your other hand and intertwined your fingers together, holding them tightly.
"When we first met, I never imagined we'd end up here, having a baby together." He paused “I could have never imagined that you would make me realize i should not have to hide my face anymore..”
He took a deep breath, the words pouring out of him now.
"You've seen me at my lowest, and yet you still love me. You've seen all my scars, inside and out, and you accept me for who I am. That means more to me than you could ever know."
He reached up and gently touched your face, his thumb tracing along your skin.
"I'm not good at expressing my feelings, you know that. But when I look at you, when I think about our baby on the way, I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
He dropped to one knee, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small box. He opened it to reveal a simple, yet beautiful engagement ring.
Ofcourse I said yes, we instantly went back to our parents house and went to a great restaurant at my fathers hotel, which I now would inherit.
As week 40 rolled around, Simon was more on edge than ever. He was constantly checking on you, making sure you were comfortable and took care of yourself. The crew tried to tell him to relax, that it was natural for you to reach this stage, but it didn’t calm his nerves one bit.
He practically glued himself to your side, helping with anything you needed and going with you to every appointment. The crew would occasionally tease him, telling him to calm down and that you were in good hands with your doctors, but he just ignored them, knowing they couldn’t understand the depth of his fear and worry.
It was the middle of the night when you woke up with contractions, signaling the start of labor. Simon was fast asleep beside you at first, but as soon as he felt you move he was instantly awake, jolting upright in bed.
He immediately sat up, his eyes fixed on you.
“Is it time?” He asked, his voice a low, urgent whisper.
He reached over and switched on the bedside lamp, the warm glow illuminating the room. He scooted closer to you, taking your hand in his.
You nodded, gripping his hand tightly. The contractions were getting stronger and closer together, the pain becoming more intense. Simon's heart was pounding, his mind racing with anxiety and worry.
“Get the bag Simon and drive to the hospital..”
Simon nodded, snapping out of his daze. He quickly got out of bed and grabbed the hospital bag that you had packed for exactly this moment.
He rushed around the bedroom, grabbing your wallet and phone and shoving them into the bag. Meanwhile, you were trying to remain calm through the contractions. Simon was a bundle of nerves, struggling to keep his hands from shaking as he zipped up the bag.
Once he had everything, he hurried over to you and helped you up from the bed.
“Come on, love. Let’s get you to the car.” He said, his voice steady but betraying a hint of fear.
He wrapped his arm around your waist, supporting you as you walked out of the bedroom and made your way to the front door. Once outside, Simon opened the car door for you and helped you get in, making sure you were comfortable before closing it and jogging over to the driver’s side.
He got behind the wheel and started the car, his hands trembling slightly. He took a few slow, deep breaths to try and calm himself down, but his heart was still racing. He glanced over at you, noticing the pain on your face from the contractions.
He reached out and took your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“Hang in there, love. We’re almost there. Just breathe, okay?”
When I layed in the hospital bed I was already 6 meters dilated, those were the hardest 5 hours of my life. Everyone we knew waited in the waiting room
Those five hours were a never-ending nightmare for Simon. He sat beside you the entire time, holding your hand and offering what little comfort he could. He watched helplessly as you went through the worst pain he had ever seen, wanting more than anything to take it away.
The crew, friends and your parents waited anxiously in the waiting room, pacing around and checking their phones every few minutes. Price was trying his best to keep them calm and keep their minds off the situation, but everyone was on edge.
And then they heard the baby crying, i successfully delivered our daughter
As the baby let out her first cry, Simon's heart swelled in his chest. He looked at you, tears welling up in his eyes. It was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.
I was exhausted, but held the baby while crying. Simon got the chance to cut her umbilical cord and when everything died down a little we choose a name.
After the nurses had cleaned up the baby and made sure that both you and her were stable and healthy, Simon held her in his arms, cradling her gently against his chest. He looked down at her tiny face, marveling at how perfect she was.
He turned to you, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
"Have you thought about a name yet, love?"
“She looks just like me..” I smiled
Simon chuckled softly, looking down at the baby and then back at you. She did look a lot like you, with your eyes and hair.
"She does,” he agreed, his voice gruff with emotion. "She's beautiful, just like her momma.”
I sighed “I want to call her Amara hope Riley..” I said exhaustively
Simon smiled as he listened to your suggestion, rolling the name around in his mind. Amara, it sounded beautiful.
"Amara Hope Riley," he repeated, the words falling from his lips like a gentle whisper. "It's perfect, love. Just perfect."
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jenosbliss · 2 days
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pairing. fem!reader x jisung | genre. fluff | wc. 0.6k | warnings. the reader is short, few cuss words
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[8:36 pm]
Late evening supermarket runs weren’t a usual practice for you and your roommate. While showering, she suddenly realized that she had run out of pads and it was that time of the month. After a thorough search, a lone pad miraculously appeared.
Exiting the sanitary aisle, you mused about snacks. “I’ve been craving Cheetos,” you said languidly. “You’ve mentioned that five times this week,” your roommate retorted with an eye roll. “No one knows me better than you, my love,” you teased, blowing her a kiss as you dashed to the snacks.
The excitement was short-lived. Not because they were out of Cheetos stocks but because they had decided to place them on the top most shelf, which was far out of reach.
“Are they for real” with hands on your hips you scoffed. Despite several leaps toward the tantalizing orange bag, it remained just out of grasp. “Y/n, I’ll order them online, or we can check another store. Or let’s get Doritos!” your roommate suggested picking up the said snack which was kept on a lower shelf.
“I will get this Cheetos only.” Settle for less? No way! You weren’t a quitter, no matter how bad a situation was or how tough a challenge was, you won’t give up. People may think of this as stubbornness but you weren’t raised a quitter. If you want something you will get it.
“You can’t get-” before she can complete you cut her off mid sentence, “No. Please find a staff member who can probably help us.” Maybe they have a ladder or something as there’s no way an average height human could reach that!
When she went to find help, not being able to wait for someone you contemplated more creative solutions to get the Cheetos. One idea that came to mind was to throw a shoe at it and knock it down, which was stupid, but desperate times call for drastic measures.
Hence, the left shoe was removed, target was set, and shoe-missile was launched at the enemy territory –the Cheetos packet laughing at you– after careful calculations. There was just a minor setback… the shoe missed the target and went all the way to the next aisle.
“Oww! What the fuck” was followed by quick shuffling and footsteps leading to you. The flight and fight mode kicked in an instant, flight was the best option but you needed your shoe back, therefore you settled for the latter… fight.
A young man, wearing a grey hoodie which covered his forehead along with black hair falling in front of his eyes, looking absolutely breath taking without any effort appeared in your aisle holding your shoe.
“This belongs to you?” He asked swinging the shoe on two of his fingers and was that a smirk?God he was hot. “I’m really sorry… I was trying to get that packet,” you explained, pointing to the Cheetos.
He seemed tall enough to easily retrieve the bag, just a stretched hand and there he is giving you the packet without any issues! Well you hoped he would voluntarily help you but maybe that wasn’t what he had in mind.
With a perfect aim unlike yours he tossed the shoe back at your head making you yelp. “Hope your brain starts working now.” Men open their mouth and ruin everything, he along with his actions ruined it. “Hey! Are you out of your mind?” He let out a dry chuckle at your words.
“You think so ‘Miss who goes throwing shoes at random people’ huh?” He taunted, leaning against one of racks looking at you unamused. “I said it wasn’t intentional, but what you did is dumb!” Huffing loudly at his casual attitude, you crossed your arms over your chest.
His icy voice filled the area as he spoke “Watch that pretty mouth of yours. Throwing stuff around like a careless idiot doesn't make you look smart.”
“Ugh! What’s your problem dude? I apologised already and if you can’t help me then please leave for god’s sake.” Not expecting his help, you returned your attention to the Cheetos packet.
He smirked at your stubbornness. “I’d rather watch you struggle.” he said, amused, his eyes following your movements. Choosing to ignore his presence, which was anything but easy, you focused on your target.
Again an idea struck you: the racks seemed sturdy, so if you stepped on the bottom shelf, you might reach the goddamn packet. Without hesitation, you climbed onto the bottom shelf. Still, you were unable to reach the top one, hence, you decided to step on the next one, gripping the upper shelves for support, both feet off the ground.
Jisung watched the whole scene unfold in front of his eyes. Not budging at all to help eben though he knew how dangerous this could be, finding this entertaining or so he thought until he saw one of your foot slip, causing you to lose balance.
As if on cue he rushed to you, wrapping his arms around your waist to support you. He didn’t expect you to fall completely, landing on top of him. The chaos ended with him on his back, you in his arms.”
“What an idiot” he groaned in pain. “Do you think you’re Spiderman, climbing the racks, thinking you won’t hurt?” Wincing, he spat out his words. Maybe it was the closeness that made you not argue back, but all you could manage was a timid “sorry.”
A red hue crept up your face realizing how close you were to his face, his arms still wrapped around you securely, this was both embarrassing and exciting. "Y/N! Oh my god, what happened?" A concerned voice of your roommate pulled you out of your thoughts.
Stumbling, you stood up and pointed accusingly at the boy still on the ground. “I fell while getting the Cheetos, and he,” you cleared your throat, cheeks still flushed, “he saved me.” Jisung, hissing from the pain in his back, stood up too.
"Jisung?" She asked recognising him. "Oh hey neighbour." He said surprised. Neighbour? Whose neighbour? Her parent’s? “Is she your friend?” He looked you up and down with a disdainful look. Your roommate nodded her head in slight surprise. “She’s such a pain in the ass, how do you even put up with her?”
“What the-” The audacity of this Jisung boy. You were about to defend yourself when your roommate put a hand over your mouth and pulled you out of the aisle and the store. “See you later, Jisung.”
“What was that?” you huffed angrily once you got home. “God, Y/N, Jisung is our new neighbor! You met Chenle and Jaemin, right? Well, Jisung just moved in yesterday. I didn’t want you to start a fight with him,” she explained.
Chenle and Jaemin were so sweet and humble, they even help you carry stuff whenever you ran into them at the parking lot, always had the warmest smiles while greeting you and this Jisung guy on the other hand… let’s not get into it. You practically hate him already.
Jisung wasn’t like his friends, and knowing he was your neighbor, he’d make sure your life wasn’t easy. But still the next morning you found a packet of Cheetos on your door with a note reading “For the Feisty and Stubborn one. Nice to meet you neighbour ;)”
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mastaerlist. nct dream | nct 127 | wayv
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izgnanik-a · 2 days
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MerMay GhostSoap 4
// MDNI // read at your own risk //
“-Fuck.” Johnny sat shoulder to shoulder with strangers at the pub, wondering how in the hell did he manage to get where he was in life.
He was ex-military (hardly), ex-farmer, ex-fisherman, and couldn’t even hold a job being a delivery driver. Now that he was a security guard, he didn’t even think he could stick around seeing what he saw.
“Fuck.” He said again.
“You can say that again.” Ushered a stranger at his side, nursing his bourbon for the time he’d been there. Maybe longer.
Johnny gave him a glance and a friendly nod before departing to find his roommate among the masses. He found them talking up a girl about some nonsense, crashing in at the worst time possible.
Their date, or the girl they’d thought to pick up at the bar, narrowed her eyes on Johnny. That amused fire that had been in his roommate suddenly became directed on him.
“Who’s this?” She asked.
They sighed, signaling defeat against the handsome man who always managed to steal the spotlight. “Johnny, Celina. Celina, this my roomie Johnny.”
“Pleasure to meet you.” She extended her hand out towards him.
“Charmed.” He flashed her a smile, holding his bottle in both hands. “You’ve got a cig I can bum?”
“You don’t smoke anymore.”
“I’m itching for one.” Any bad addiction to get out of his mind right now, he could use it.
“I’ve got one.” Celina offered, digging in her shirt purse to find her box.
Johnny grimaced to the brand but took it nonetheless, “Thanks.”
“Need a light?” She asked.
“Got one?”
She fetched her lighter, and held it out but when he went to grab it — she leaned away. “I’ll join you. I could use a smoke. Care to join?” She asked Johnny’s roommate.
“I don’t smoke. I’m gonna get another drink.” They said, tipping their head to the both of them and moving through the room.
Johnny reluctantly agreed to join Celina outside just so he could get a lighter, and once they’d lit their smokes, they stood side by side in silence.
“How long have you known each other?” Celina asked.
“My roommate?” Johnny hummed, cigarette on the edge of his lips before he grabbed it. “A couple years. Met at a job.”
“What’s your job?”
“Currently, security.”
“Oh? Where?”
Johnny scoffed. “I’m not allowed to say.”
Celina furrowed her brows as Johnny took a drag, the tip glowing orange against her eyes. “How come?”
“Private security.”
But he started to wonder who would really believe him if he had told them where he worked, and what he worked for. Would they believe him if he told them that he was watching a fish tank with some ungodly beast within? Or would they just look at him and laugh, shake him off, and say it was such a good joke? 
He tapped the end of his cigarette just thinking about that creature’s face. So close to his, so hungry, and cold.
“Johnny?” Celina’s voice cut through his thoughts.
“Hm- Sorry.” He shook his head. “I’ve got a lot going on.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. I hope things get better for you.”
Johnny nodded, sensing her closure and gaze up at him. He scoffed softly, “Celina, right?”
She hummed.
“You seem like a nice girl.”
“I can be.”
“You don’t want any part of me.”
“I think I can handle a broken guy.”
Johnny took a step aside. “I’m going to head inside for another drink and then I’m going home.” He pointed behind him. “Thanks for the-“ he held up his cigarette, stubbing out the end, and tucking the rest in his breast pocket. “Have a good night.”
Johnny opened the pub door and moved for the bar. He didn’t really plan on having another drink, knowing that it could only lead to thinking and wallowing about his situation more. He spotted his roommate harboring another drink.
He sat down beside them. “I want to go home.” Johnny remarked.
His roommate looked him over and back to the bottle. “How’d your talk with Celina go?”
“She tried to kill me.”
“Really?”
“Wouldn’t do either of us good if she was around. Don’t seem the faithful type.”
“Thanks.” His roommate huffed, drinking half the bottle down.
Johnny looked to his phone, the time, and back to the crowd around them. “I’m going to head to the car and wait.”
His roommate hummed.
“Take-away?” He shuffled out of the seat.
They hummed, “Don’t forget the wings.”
Johnny patted their back and moved for the door. The car was a lonely place, but quiet and comfortable. He didn’t realize he would be left alone with his thoughts.
All he could think about was his next shift at the facility. Seeing that thing again. He wondered where it came from, what purpose did it serve.
Unconsciously running his fingers up the path from his neck to his temple, he swore he could still feel the cold tongue against his skin when he slept. Feel the teeth knock his throat with his claws in his hair.
The passenger door opened.
Johnny jumped frantically, only to see his roommate. He gulped. “Ready?”
Without a word, they’d ventured back home where take-away was waiting for them. Dining over pizza and crispy chicken wings, Johnny found himself dissociating at his food. He stared at the white meat and ligaments of his chicken wing, somewhat sick thinking of it.
He wondered if the creature’s acts were just one of curiosity or hunger. Did it have I’ll intentions towards Johnny? Or was it just a starved beast in a box?
x
Johnny’s lunchbox was full of things he didn’t plan on eating that actually set off their metal alarm. When they looked into his lunchbox there was a jar of pickles, two ham sandwiches, and a can of whole tuna — they stared up at him as he flashed them a nervous look.
He walked to his desk, half expecting to be stopped at the door as he scanned his ID, but managed to get inside. He looked to the tank, tapping on the glass but seeing nothing surface.
He wondered if the fishman had been taken out.
Running footage back, he watched Garrick clean the outside of the tank with glass cleaner in the room before leaving. The footage gave spouts of static at times, going out of service for several moments before coming back on. When Garrick left, the screen cleared.
Johnny huffed, moving for the closet door. He brought his lunchbox along, only insistent on eating his sandwiches. With the door chalked behind him, he set his bag down and crouched down low.
He wondered if he tapped the surface like last, would it bring the creature up to him, or would it just snatch him in this time. He slapped the surface curiously.
For a long while there was nothing.
He did it again, giving little butterfly taps, like a bug floating on the surface. “Where the hell are you, you mangy—“
Then he spotted it.
At the far edge of the pool, Johnny could see ripples giving way to the creature’s location before a head popped out. Two menacing eyes peered at him from the corner of the room.
Johnny gulped, suddenly realizing that this thing could snatch him and drown him if it wanted to. It could easily suffocate him under its massive size and no one would find him, only maybe Garrick.
Johnny wiped his hand against his jeans and turned to his lunchbox. “I have something for you.” He said, like a worried owner of an easily provoked dog. He dug out his can of whole tuna, and held it up. “It’s fish.”
The creature made no moves to come closer in the water, just watching him suspiciously.
Johnny opened the can, grimacing at the oily fish. Sticking his finger into the grime, he held up one of the five tiny fish in sight. “Here. Take it.” Holding it close to the surface of the water, he expected it to come close.
Nope.
“Aren’t you hungry?” Johnny questioned.
When it didn’t move towards him, he sighed and tossed it towards the middle of the room. He rubbed his fingers into the water to get the grimace out. When he looked up, the fishman was gone.
“What—“
Johnny leaned forward, peering into the water to see the flicker of white skin at the center of the pool. He felt his heart jolt when it came back to the surface, the same as it had before, only wide eyes peering at him.
“So you are hungry.” Johnny said as he reached for another tuna. He threw it in the space between the fishman and himself to get it to come closer, and as expected — it ducked under, ripples cutting around it, and appeared where the fish had gone.
With another fish tossed closer to the ledge, Johnny held up his fourth fish as the creature appeared within a foot of the ledge. It peered up at him, like a cat before it pounces at a toy.
“Take it,” he offered it out within the short distance.
To Johnny, he was giving a peace offering to appease the beast.
To the creature, he was teasing its dinner in his fingers. Holding it out of the water where it refused to be seen.
Johnny set the tuna into the water and watched the creature dunk underneath quickly. He removed his hand from the water to see it snatch it between its webbed fingers, bringing the fish to its mouth, and taking bites until it’s tail remained before discarding the bones and coming back up to the surface.
This time, right up against the ledge, it stared up at him with unease. Johnny fished out the last tuna, revealing it from the can, and hovered it over the fishman’s head.
With tracking eyes, it watched Johnny place it on the ledge with just the fishy mouth in sight. Webbed fingers hooked over the edge to wrap around the slippery tuna and drag it into the water with a PLOP.
Johnny leaned over again to watch it sink into the water and eat.
It looked back up towards the peering human and dipped further down out of sight.
He was in awe of its ability to eat so humanely, of its conception of safe and not safe. It kept its distance because it perceived Johnny as not safe, but since he had a food source — it came close enough to take the fruits and leave.
Johnny wondered how much longer he could play this game of chicken, and when he would get caught for good.
x
Next chapter coming soon
fic masterlist
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2knightt · 2 days
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HI I SAW UR REQUESTS OPEN AND IMMEDIAYELY SCRAMBLED TO WRITE THIS
idk if this makes sense, but smth like ponyboy x academic-rival!soc!reader? like they’re compared to each other a lot. they have quiet passive aggressive arguments. and they’re always on each other’s mind.. “for some reason.”
i was thinking like maybe ponyboy finds reader in some compromising position. like, maybe they’re getting bothered at the drive-in and he steps in (he doesn’t even realize what he’s doing until he does it) and sticks up for reader— and it leads to them learning more about each other in the process?
loll idk if this makes sense but your writing’s actually great can’t wait to see what u put out next ^^
୧ ׅ𖥔 ۫ and you can’t think of anyone else.⋄ 𓍯
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REQUESTED: you and ponyboy ‘dislike’ each other.
tags/warnings: story focused, long/on the longer side, gn!reader, reader gets harassed by a creep, ponyboy nearly gets into a fistfight, reader has a brother,
ೃauthor notes⁀➷ anon i think you’re magic because i was JUST thinking about writing academic rivals with ponyboy
“wow, pony. only 89%? i thought you were good at math.”
“i am.”
“you sure?”
ponyboy gritted his teeth as he huffed, pulling his paper out of your hands as he went back to his seat. right behind you.
if ponyboy didn’t know better, he’d thought that mr. lizweski was out for him. he glared daggers at the back of your head, his jaw still clenched.
99%. that’s such bullshit. you had to be bribing all the teachers to keep on getting first place, right? there’s no way in hell he’d ever come in second.
ponyboy wasn’t even second in track.
89% was all he thought about. in his remaining classes, he pressed down on the paper a little too hard when writing, he was oddly silent around his school friends, and he walked faster—with more of a purpose than anything.
it was clear to his friends that he was agitated, but they didn’t bother asking. each time the topic of you, the reason of his annoyance, was brought up ponyboy went on what seemed like an hour long rant.
“they’re bribing the teachers, right? they have to be! how else would they be getting these stupid marks when they’re busy parting their hair in class, or they’re too busy talking to their friends about, “what’s for lunch?” i am so goddamn tired of it!”
“….you seem to know an awful lot ‘bout y/n for someone who hates ‘em.”
“i do hate them! did you not just hear what i said?”
the rest of the day, ponyboy was in a bad mood. it felt like nothing could pull him out of it, not even when soda grabbed some change to treat him to go get snacks.
you stood out there gas station, head down to look at ground to avoid the random, rather ugly, dude standing above you.
“c’mon, pretty. gimme a smile, why don’t you?”
you stayed silent, turning your head away from him. he reeked of booze, the scent making your skin crawl.
ponyboy seen this, a slight anger bubbling inside him. it was different than what he felt all through today. this was real, genuine anger rather than annoyance.
ignoring soda calling for him and ignoring his subconscious yelling at him, ponyboy stomped toward you and the guy.
he got between the two of you, shoving the guy back slightly.
“they ain’t interested.”
“what’re you? their boyfriend?”
“just lay off.”
“or what?”
the guy pressed, taking a step closer to pony. neither of their glares wavered. pony’s knuckles were almost white with how hard he was clenching his hand.
you fully believe he wouldn’t socked him right then and there if soda hadn’t stepped in and talked the guy away, calming the drunkard a few feet away.
“you didn’t need to step in.”
“it’s not like you were gonna be anything.”
“you don’t know that.”
“i do know that, y/n.”
ponyboy spoke with such a stern tone, you almost believed him against your own will. but, as the whole situation set in, you couldn’t help but feel thankful.
“whatever.”
“whatever?”
he asked, sounding almost offended. pony almost fought a guy for you and all he gets is a goddamn, ‘whatever’?
“..thank you.”
you mumbled quietly, crossing your arms as you leaned back onto the gas station wall, looking down at the gravel below.
“you’re welcome.”
the silence that hung between the two of you was palpable. you shifted your weight from side to side until ponyboy broke the awkwardness.
“so, you come ‘round here often?”
“yeah. my brother works here so i get things for cheap.”
“you got a brother?”
“mhm. soda’s age.”
you confirmed, silence falling between the two of you once more. ponyboy glanced inside the store, seeing your brother work the register.
well, he should be, at least. he was currently being held back from going outside to kick some sense into the creep from earlier.
“you two look alike.”
ponyboy muttered under his breath, a small part of him hoping you wouldn’t hear. his ears went hot with embarrassment when he heard you snicker.
“don’t insult me like that.”
he always knew you were quick witted, but hearing it happen when pony wasn’t the one being made fun of was rare. but, rather funny.
ponyboy understands why your friends are always giggling around you now, as he’s begun to catch himself let out a small chuckle at your words.
“it ain’t a bad thing.”
“it totally is. you just haven’t met ‘em.”
you, yourself, were laughing at your own words. the two of you quickly laughing amongst yourselves, the conversation making 0 sense to anyone but to you guys.
time seemed to tick by faster and faster the more ponyboy got invested into the conversation. you carried yourself with a confidence he couldn’t comprehend.
the way you spoke, the way you stood, the way you looked—it was all so confusing for pony.
soda walked out of the gas station, a plastic bag full of all kinds of snacks as he shouted at his younger brother.
“ponyboy, let’s go!”
“alright, soda!”
the wind was the only thing filling your guys’ ears as he kicked the gravel you two stood on. until you, as always, broke the ice.
“i’ll see you ‘round, 89%.”
“yea. see you at school, 82%.”
you two teased, narrowing your eyes at each other one last time for the night.
even on the car ride home with soda, who calmed down the drunkard and even got close with your brother, ponyboy was still confused.
despite being the best, number one, in english—he couldn’t find the words to describe how he felt about you.
so, he’ll just say he’a neutral on you. until you get a higher grade than him, of course.
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some of you guys are making the dragon show sound so fun it’s making me wish it were not composed of like everything my brain refuses to engage with (TV starring british people, shows with historical settings, any stories about royalty, dragons)
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lokh · 2 months
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oughh i wanted to do a cute laishuro take on the blu ray extras (what if laios had been eaten instead) but lets be honest. they absolutely would not have made it as far without laios
#they wouldve died. badly.#unfortunately ive lost the link saw it on twitter but i think laios gets knocked unconscious and imagines that it had been him that got ate#and not falin. and falin is the only one to advocate for them going back#but no one wants to go along with her presumably because they dont care for laios that much#(or at least this is laios' perception as this is just his imagination)#but also because she doesnt know as much about monsters and couldnt come up with a good argument for going back in#<- didnt know about prolonged digestion in red dragons and marcille assumed the interval was the same as in humans (1-3 days)#BUT...................... when everyone leaves falin turns back and goes in herself. and laios realises that shes always been that sort#of person and theres no point in ruminating over what could have been.#now. i want to believe that had they known falin would turn back without them. that at the very least shuro would have gone in with her.#theres no way he would have let her go on her own. and frankly i dont think he would have assembled his retainers#to go save laios rip...#marcille would have gone if she had known falin would turn back. and honestly i think she mightve known her well enough to guess this irl#anyways what i was GOING to say was maybe as they venture thru the dungeon shuro gets to learn more about laios thru falins view#maybe they get to know each other more and he opens up more about how he thinks of laios and like. falin is able to explain more about him#diffuse tension and give him a better understanding. like yeah hes still annoyed at him but he has a better view of how laios is#they get close and become better friends but maybe it also helps falin make up her mind and let him down gently............................#and maybe they go and save laios but the dragon thing still happens to him#and its again a 'you felt like that all along??' situation irt him wanting to be a monster but it turns out ok and they (laishuro)#open up to one another in the end.........................#but. again im gonna be real. they would not have made it that far LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO laios the goat for real
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suncaptor · 2 months
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there's something specifically inside my head that is closing up that makes trusting anything so hard. i have to manually keep my mind open to the potential of anything being significant. i am so used to things being bad and things hurting and things not working and being powerless that it takes an exorbitant amount of mental energy to make sure I don't let myself shut down possibility. and I do it because I never want a certainty inside of me besides love to rule anything. but I want my brain elastic again. i want it open like breathing. it doesn't erase the unfairness or the critique or any of the bitter-built philosophy.
#it's so hard to describe what I mean. i think it's the combo of the like. specific part of my brain's development + the amount of trauma#I have endured + the degree of which that has been taking place on a backdrop of the world being incredibly injust no matter what I do#this is very very silly but the extent of how much this impacts me was made clear by how like. closed off I was to even liking an album by#my favourite singer. like obviously I am obsessively keeping myself open I would never let my preconceived sense of doom and stubbornness#control my willingness to let things in#but it shouldn't be so hard to keep my mind open to things like... liking my favourite musician of most of my life's music...........#and that's a VERY silly example but that's why it's easier to talk about. it takes so much work to be open enough for things like therapy#or religion because they've damaged me so much#how am i supposed to handle this on a backdrop of constant constant helplessness in the face of living insecurity and illness and trauma?#the problem is if you try so so so hard again and again and remain hopeful regardless of how illogical that hope is#but you get let down so constantly since you're never stop trying ever even when systems fail you again and again#and you're watching horrible things happen and everything that shapes you is horror#then regardless of how much you try it's so hard to let yourself let go of the very realistic lived experience of doubt and critique#and I DO. do NOT get me wrong. I am obsessive and refuse to be my own problem#but the act of doing so shouldn't be like this. it's in everything i do. from simple things like listening to new music to even the mere#possibility of a future#i am very worried this one is going to be misinterpreted bc I AM NOT saying I'm stubborn in the face of systems that have repeatedly failed#me. I AM NOT. I am saying to not be shouldn't take this work when it envelops the rest of my life.#if anyone reads this far please please acknowledge the degree of which I almost pathologically try again and again when I can guarantee#nearly everyone wouldn't and still fight to keep myself open to hope because that's just something in me that is like that. but BEING like#that is. repeatedly putting yourself in situations where you are powerless already and helpless to get better and then are hurt more and#there's no way to escape it's just the repeated nature of it and then trying to not be the issue.#it's the problem in itself.#my ambition SHOULD be smarter.#god I'll go into this when I fully understand it another time. i don't think i have this phrased in a way to make all the dots of what i#mean correlate in the significant ways to anyone but me#but hey i guess i'm expecting anyone to read this in a light to misperceive me in the first place instead of accept maybe I'm not explainin#well or giving me the benefit of the doubt. see.#delete
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juleswritesstuff · 7 days
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Starving
Basically, just Theo being the munch that he is.
theodore nott x fem!reader
warnings: smut
Enjoy💗
You had always hated Herbology with a deep passion.
Not the plants per se, those were rather fascinating to observe, but did they really need to have such a vast variety of species ? Was it actually necessary ?
Apparently it was, or Mrs Sprout wouldn't have given you a whole 600 words essay to write on every type of mandrake known to man.
Those screaming little things got on your nerves, and you could barely understand what the professor was talking about while tending to them. Hence, you were finding it extremely difficult to complete that paper.
The door of your dorm room suddenly opened and you had to restrain a curse from slipping through gritted teeth.
You had really hoped to not get interrupted.
Apparently your prayers weren't heard.
“You busy, dolcezza ?” (sweetie)
A more than familiar voice reached your ears. You lifted your eyes from your paper and they landed on none other than Theodore Nott, who was standing right in front of your door, now closed again, with a faint smirk plastered on his face. 
You rolled your eyes. You knew that little grin all too well.
“Kind of, yeah” you replied, your attention going back to the paper in front of you as you started scribbling again with your quill “Aren't you ? You're in this class too, have you already finished your essay ?” you asked, cocking an eyebrow.
“Just turned it in, so I have some time to kill�� he said with that cocky attitude of his.
Infuriating and charming at the same time, truly unfair.
“Good for you, then. I don't, so if you could leave me to it, it would be much appreciated” you said as a forced smile curved your lips.
“Oh, come on. You don't even have a little time ? Per me ?” he asked, tilting his head slightly to the side with the most innocent expression he could master. (For me ?)
Which didn't work because his eyes screamed trouble.
Theo looked like an angel with his brown hair curled in soft locks and eyes as blue as the ocean, although dead and emotionless looking.
Actually, he was the devil in disguise. Especially when he acted all coy like this.
“No Theo, I really don't have time for your little antics today” you said huffing.
‘His little antics’ being eating you out till tears rolled down your cheeks and your mascara was smudged and unsalvageable. 
You and Theo were ‘friends’. You got along just fine, you talked, and you bickered like there was no tomorrow. It was part of your friendship, the teasing, the little harmless jokes. It was routine for the two of you.
What was also routine was the flirting. 
Shameless and obvious flirting.
You never thought it would lead anywhere. You were so used to the little Italian endearments he gave you and the ever present smirk on his lips that you didn't really think anything of it.
Until one night, after one of the biggest parties that Slytherin had ever thrown, you ended up in his bed, with him between your legs eating you out like his life depended on it.
You didn't even know how you found yourself in that situation, you just knew that you hadn't minded one bit.
You ended up with shaky legs and a dizzy brain just by his tongue alone.
Saying that you didn't mind it would've been an euphemism.
The day after was awkward as hell, but you both were too direct and honest to not deal with the weird atmosphere immediately.
So you decided to add some…privileges to your relationship. 
You discovered Theo had quite an oral fixation. 
He needed to keep his mouth occupied with something.
Cigarettes were a great way to keep his mouth busy, but they were extremely damaging for his health.
You didn't mean to make him stop smoking, you knew it would've been basically impossible, and, if you had to be completely honest with yourself, he looked so damn hot with those death traps between his lips, but you wanted to at least try to reduce the amount of nicotine that went into his body.
And what better way than to bribe him with the second thing he loved the most in the world ?
Eating you out seemed to be his favorite hobby.
Anytime he felt the need to light one cigarette more than necessary he came to you, with that sinful smirk on his lips and the hottest ‘fuck me’ eyes he could master.
And who were you to say no ? 
You had proposed the deal in the first place.
Plus, he was amazing at it too. The way his tongue worked on your cunt definitely felt like ascending to heaven.
But now you really didn't have the time.
“I'm not here because I feel like smoking, Y/n” he said walking up to you and stopping in front of the desk, leaning forward a little as he supported his weight with his hands on the table. 
You made the mistake of lifting your eyes from the parchment and locking them with his. His gaze was magnetic. Once those pools of stormy sea caught you, you couldn't escape.
“Then why are you here ?” you asked, raising your eyebrows.
“Cause I'm starving, tesoro” he uttered with the calmest and most unaffected tone in his voice. (darling)
You narrowed your eyes.
“Then you should be in the kitchen to solve that little problem, don't you think ?” you asked rhetorically, eyes going back to focus on the parchment in front of you.
You heard him scoff, and suddenly he was leaning so much closer.
Your head was still hung low, trying to write that damn essay, but his presence was distracting as hell and you couldn't help but shiver when he leaned to whisper in your ear.
“You're right, that would be the perfect solution if I was hungry for food” he stopped and you could feel the teasing smile plastered on his face 
“But all I'm craving is you and that pretty little cunt of yours, so I don't think the kitchen elves could really help me with that”
You wished you could say his words didn't affect you, you really wished.
But the sudden warmth on your cheeks and the unconscious clench of your legs told another story.
You really didn't have time for this, but your body was craving him and his touch like crazy, and you weren't sure you would've been able to focus if you didn't feel his tongue working its wonders on you.
So you sighed and pushed the chair you were sitting on a bit farther away from the desk, enough to take your knickers off and throw them somewhere behind you, then you sat back, your skirt still covering you up until your mid thighs.
His eyes darkened with lust.
“Make it quick, I have an essay to finish” you said, faking indifference.
On the inside you were burning alive.
“Quick ? It's like you don't know me at all, dolcezza” he said with a scoff as he sank to his knees, crawling until he was right in front of you.
His gaze locked in yours as his hands made contact with the bare skin of your legs, caressing them gently, tenderly.
“I'll take my sweet time with you. Ora fai la brava and open those gorgeous legs for me” you hated how fast you complied, but with the way he was looking at you you really couldn’t help yourself. (Now be good) 
He lifted your skirt and he leaned forward.
As soon as his tongue made contact with your folds you melted.
You choked out a whimper, and you could feel him smirk right against your groin.
"Wipe that grin off your face, Nott, I'm only -ah fuck, I'm only doing it because you begged me” you said as he kept lapping at your core with his tongue, wrapping his lips around your clit to give it a gentle suck.
The moan that rippled out of you was almost pornographic.
“Piccola bugiarda, you know that's not true. You're doing it because you want it too” he moved his mouth from your cunt to your thighs, giving feather light kisses on the sensitive skin. (Little liar)
“You're so wet, you didn't think I would notice ?” he asked with that fucking cocky attitude that made you go crazy.
“Shut up and put that mouth to a better use” you said, but the bite in your voice was definitely toned down by the urgency and neediness of having his mouth back where you needed him the most.
His head tilted to the side as he leaned back just the tiniest bit.
“What's with the attitude, uh ?”
“No, no, no, -shit Theo. Come back here” you said, almost whining.
He was too far, and you needed him.
You needed him closer, way fucking closer.
“E come si dice ?” he teased, his eyes were dark and fogged up by lust and hunger. (And what do you say ?)
“Fuck, why do you always want me to beg ?” you asked, defeated. He leaned forward again, his breath hovering right above the tender skin as you clenched around nothing, feeling the loss of his tongue.
“Because it's fun, I love it when you beg me with that sweet mouth of yours. Plus I like seeing you flustered” he said as he started to kiss every inch and nook of your most sensitive area, avoiding where you really wanted him to.
You wanted to curse so bad, but you knew that was not what he wanted, what he needed.
“Theo -fuck. Please Theo, just touch me. Please” you surrendered, your voice whiny and broken, until a melody of moans and whimpers started to ripple out of your lips as soon as his mouth met your folds again.
And this time he didn’t stop.
He lapped at your juices like a starved man enjoying his meal for the first time in days.
He licked, and sucked, and kissed every centimeter, every inch of tender skin like he was born to do that.
Your hands buried in his soft brown locks and you tugged at them unconsciously after a particularly good roll of his tongue made you see stars.
“Cazzo, se continui così verrò nei pantaloni porca puttana” he said, hissing. His mouth kept working wonders on your cunt, his groans creating delicious vibrations on your clit. (Fuck, if you keep this up I'll come in my pants, holy shit)
“Ancora” he said between ravenous licks and delicate, teasing sucks, guttural moans leaving his lips. (Again)
“What ?” you asked, lost in pleasure. Your little knowledge of the Italian language became nonexistent when he was busy making you cry on his tongue.
“Again, baby. You know i fucking love it” he says, mouthing the words right against your core.
And so you obeyed, tugging at his hair again, a little rougher, a little harder.
A low groan left his lips.
You were close, you were so fucking close.
“Shit, Theo, baby” you moaned out loud, the term of endearment completely slipping out.
Theo seemed to notice, because he started to go faster, tongue flicking desperately at your folds.
Your breath got caught in your lungs, your ears rang and your sight turned black as you got hit by pleasure.
The hand on his hair kept Theo close as you rode your orgasm on his tongue.
He lapped at your juices carefully, to not overstimulate you, leaving sweet butterfly kisses on your thighs, worshiping the skin with his lips.
Once your breathing started to go back to normal and your sight was not blurry from the pleasure anymore you looked at him.
He was still kneeling in front of you, a teasing smile tugging at his lips as his eyes focused on your face.
“You look quite disheveled, principessa” he said with a chuckle, pride oozing from his features for reducing you in that state. All fucked out and breathless. (princess)
“Oh, yeah ? And whose fault is that ?” you asked in mocking shock, but you couldn't help a chuckle from escaping your lips.
“And you're one to talk” you added as you took in his appearance. His eyes were still quite foggy and unfocused, his hair a mess from all the tugging, and his lips.
Oh, his lips. Red and shiny with your essence and the tiniest bit swollen.
He looked too fucking good to be true.
You knew you folded too easily when Theo was involved, but you couldn’t help it.
“I told you I was starving, you underestimated my eagerness to fucking ravish you” he said with a shrug, wetting his lips to savor your taste once again, like his words didn’t make you feel like you were catching fire.
That mouth of his was a menace, physically and literally.
“I’m never gonna be able to finish this stupid essay now” you said almost desperately.
He laughed at your pathetic whining, but it was a warm laugh, not one made to mock you but one that was closer to endearment.
“Was it so good that it melted your brain off ?” he asked with that cocky grin of his.
You looked at him with a deadpan expression.
“Your overly confident attitude never fails to amaze me, Theodore Nott '' you said with a chuckle. You straightened your posture on the chair, smoothing out all the wrinkles that he had left from fisting your skirt and holding on for dear life to keep your hips still.
“Now I don’t want to kick you out, but I really need to finish this”
“No need for that, tesoro, I’ll leave you to it. Wouldn’t want to distract you too much” he said, getting back up on his feet and tucking a rebellious strand of your hair behind your ear.
“See you at dinner ?” he asked. 
You simply nodded your head yes.
His hand was still gently caressing your cheek, the pads of his fingers were as light as a feather as they danced on your skin.
His eyes were locked in yours, and you had no idea of what was happening.
Until his fingers reached your chin, tilting your head up the slightest bit. 
Then he leaned in.
For the first time since you had started this ‘arrangement’ his lips met yours.
And they were sweeter than you thought, gentle, but there was an undertone of hunger, of neediness that you couldn’t ignore.
He tasted of nicotine and butter beer, bittersweet and addicting.
His lips were slightly chapped but you couldn’t care less about it as his tongue swiped on your bottom lip, his teeth grazing at it gently right after as he carefully bit the plump skin.
He pulled back slowly and you were left speechless.
He just chuckled at your wide eyes and agape mouth.
“Good luck on your essay, ok ? I’ll see you tonight” he left a quick kiss on your cheek before storming out of the door with a smile on his face.
Your thoughts were all over the place, because what the hell had just happened ?
Did Theodore Nott just kiss you ?
Something a little different from my usual marauders content, but he's been stuck in brain for weeks now, and I couldn't help myself 😔
And honestly, as an Italian girl, I really think Lorenzo Zurzolo should be classified as a national treasure, thank you for coming to my ted talk.
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reverie-verse · 2 months
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Azriel x Reader: The Bond of a Century
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An old request that I decided to revamp
Request prompt: Can I request an Azriel x reader where the mating bond snaps for Azriel but not the reader? Kind of like how Feyra didn’t know Rhys was her mate till she was told.
My prompt: A bond forgotten for over a century and a half makes its way back to the forefront. All of it starts with Rhys asking for a favor.
This is a fluffy, steamy, angst-ish fic
I hope you enjoy!!!! My requests are open!!!
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This was the last thing you thought you would be doing for Rhys. Out of all the things, this-this is what he chose for you to do. Rhys had a sick twisted mind that put you in a situation you had no desire of being in or a part of. You mentally cursed at the high lord, hating him in the moment even though he was your dearest friend. Elain scoured the city for certain pots for her plants, and certain seeds for her garden. Azriel right by her side and you trailing behind them. All you wanted to do was to go back to your home near the docks. It was the first home you had when you first moved from Dawn to Velaris less than a century ago, but with some convincing Rhys and Feyre were able to get you to stay at the town house. It was only then did her sisters arrive, and at some point you were put to the task of keeping an eye on Elain with the occasional visit of Az. Honestly you wished you could train with Nesta, but Cassian was chosen for that task. You wouldn’t have minded living in the house of wind-“ I think I need to go to Day Court or maybe Spring,Oh perhaps we go to Dawn instead. They must have better pots.” Elain speaks more to Azriel than she does you. You were eyeing the various shops, and the people delighted to be around you, each grinning and waving at you. Another beautiful thing about Velaris you’d come to love. People were kind here.
Azriel smiled softly at her “ Of course, if that’s what you want” his voice was tender and sweet. You fought the urge to roll your eyes, turning your attention elsewhere. You hated being there dealing with this shit, but Rhys insisted you tag along, “It’s good for the soul. Get some fresh air” with that insane cat-like smirk. Ooo you shoot daggers into your mind, a deep chuckle echoing in the background.
“ Yes that’s what I want, thank you Az” Elain returned the gesture.
“ Alright then I’ll let Rhys and Feyre know-“ You say as you pinched a flower petal between your thumb and index finger. You looked away from it then back at them. The two watched you with curiosity, you let go of the petal. It was no simple task, an easy reminder of what you needed to do and a simple approval came from Rhys. A gentle poke in your mind causes you to shake your head.“-Let's get this over with” You take steps towards them placing your hands on their arms you effortlessly winnow the three of you to Dawn. The landing was gentle and less sickening, the three of you placed in a Market, one that you were familiar with.. Elain squealed with excitement as she rushed over to an area where she had seen fresh flowers, a few shops down could be seen a pottery shop, the two of you already trailing her.
“ Look at this beautiful bouquet! Y/N? Should we get this for the town house?” She gestures to the bouquet filled with many vibrant colors, various shapes and sizes. You were stumped, she normally doesn’t ask you these questions most of the time they were directed at Az.
“They look lovely Elain, I’m sure they’ll fit anywhere you put them..” You replied not really sure how to respond. Honestly you’ve never really thought about what flowers you liked or didn’t . It wasn’t something that was ever given to you, nor something you found and immediately fell in love with. You didn’t have anything against anyone who knew what they liked, you just-never had the experience of looking forward to your own set of plants. Even when you first attempted gardening most of your plants and flowers died, you simply didn’t have the skill or the eye for it..but that was okay, though on rare occasions it was something you wished you had..
Elain smiles awkwardly “ Well, maybe we can get it, it might brighten up the home. Make it seem more natural..comfortable” She pulls out her coins, handing it to the shopkeeper. The three of you move further heading over to the pottery shop that she explained earlier how she wanted to visit. Your eyes searched the area, checking for predators, anyone who might cause harm to the high lady’s sister, before entering the shop. You had other plans that you needed to attend to while the two looked around, it was in the midst of Elains discussion, mostly to Azriel about the various styles of pottery, that you planned to sneak off. It was only then did a voice capture your attention from behind you.
“ Y/N, I must admit I never pegged as you someone who might be interested in pottery” Thesan, high lord of Dawn, speaks out, the entire shop haunting their work to bow at his presence. He waved his hand dismissing them easily back to work. Azriel positions himself so that he stands near you with Elain behind him, she peers her head out, trying to see who it was that spoke so elegantly. A small smile graces your features at that familiar voice you knew so well as you shifted to face Thesan, who was already grinning. Azriel didn’t miss it, taking note of it.
“What if I was?” You retorted,
“ Then that would be a surprise”
“I hate to burst your bubble High Lord but I’m here on business not for pleasure” You replied, the two of you sharing a small laugh together. Azriel forced his expression into neutrality, Elains eyes sparkled with curiosity and intrigue. Thesan looks behind you for a moment, taking in the Shadowsinger and the woman next to him.
“ Ouch, that one hurt Y/N, I see you brought friends, Shadowsinger” Thesan greets civilly no hate present.
“ Thesan,” Azriel gives a simple head nod in his direction, there was no need for malice, Thesan had always been a great friend of Rhys’s and now apparently yours. Though a feeling crept inside his chest, this odd feeling takes root, Azriel does his best to shove it away, especially with Elain right next to him..
“ And you must be Elain, one of the sisters of High Lady Night.”
“ Yes I am. It’s a pleasure to meet you” Elain smiles with a blush that creeps along her cheeks. She wasn’t sure how to respond being that a high lord, whom she never met knew she existed. The surrealness of the situation becomes a reality, the more she realizes how well known her sister is, how well known both of her sisters are including herself. A delighted yet astonishing experience for her, something she wasn’t used to yet.
“ Same to you, i hope you don’t mind if I borrow Y/N for a moment or two, there’s somethings I’d like to discuss” Thesan offered but secretly it was a meeting that needed to take place. You were in fact here on business, something that Rhys specifically shared with you and no one else. Dawn used to be your home, but when you were moved to Velaris, you became the seg way for Dawn and Night. Your job was to be the emissary for both sides, keeping the courts relationship in even better shape. You missed your home dearly at times, and you missed Thesan whom you were extremely close too, and who you cared about, even with this being only for business there was some pleasure that came out of it.
“ No of course not, I’m sure she could use a break from us, right Azriel?” Elain looks up to him but his eyes were trained on you and Thesan. You were ready to join him without so much as another word, it struck a nerve in him, why? What could possibly be the topic of conversation between you two? Why do you only need to speak with him? Surely Rhys would’ve told him what this meeting was about? Why hadn’t you come to him for advice or as a second set of ears? Why was the meeting a secret?-“Azriel?”Elain calls out to him, you were looking at him suspiciously, your eyebrows furrowed, your eyes flickering across every part of his face and bodily language. Azriel adjusts himself, shielding off whatever thoughts or feelings he harbored in the moment. He blinks, his eyes drift back to Elain then back to you and Thesan “ Go ahead, we’ll be here in the shop if you need us, we leave in about two hours”
“ Alright then I will have my men escort the two of you back to my palace.” Thesan replied, You eased the questioning look off your face, you shift back towards Thesan, the two of you walking out of the shop, the conversation immediately flowed. He could see the smile on your face, and yet again the melodic sound of laughter that left your lips. The high lords' guards remained in place while Azriel and Elain both continued their shopping. However, that didn’t stop him from taking one last look out the door.
When the two hours were up, Azriel and Elain were guided securely to the Palace where he’d find you and Thesan walking along the hall. Thesan stopped in his tracks grabbing your arm, it forces you to halt in place, your body halfway facing him. His mouth moves but Azriel can’t hear what he’s saying, he lifts a hand to your face gently swiping at your cheek. He removes his hand, pulling you gently into a tight embrace. Azriel could see the way you held onto him tightly, as if you dared to let go. The two of you stayed in that position for a few moments until you both eventually pulled away. Why were you crying? Were you hurting? Were they happy tears? Did he say something to you? What was it? There were too many emotions to pinpoint, Azriel’s chest continued to tighten at the emotions he felt. You left Thesans' side offering him one last smile, but that smile fades, when you approach them.
“It’s time, are you ready?” You ask softly, your demeanor changed, a bit relaxed but a heavy weight stays on your shoulders. You roll them back, adjusting yourself. Azriel watches you with such careful eyes, you paid no mind, your thoughts elsewhere.
“ Yes-“ Elain starts but her gaze flickers back and forth between you both. For Elain it was rather odd to see the two of you interact, when she had met you, your relationship with Azriel was already thin, you were distant with him compared to everyone else. Elain assumed that your relationship had always been like that, but now she wasn’t so sure..
“ Are you alright?” Azriel asks you, his hand twitches slightly, part of him restrains himself, the other yearned to reach out for you. But you were quick to recover, offering him a reassuring smile.
“ Yeah I’m fine, let’s go.” You placed your hands on both of them, winnowing them back to the town house. There Nuala and Cerridwen greeted the three of you. Nuala took the pots out of Elains hands, Cerridwen took the flowers and placed them in another vase. Elain begins gushing about the journey to Dawn, how gorgeous it was..You sighed exhausted leaving the space quietly to head to your own room. Azriel was about to follow you when Elain called for his help in the kitchen. Azriel hesitated staring up at the staircase. Why couldn’t he just talk to you? He’s a Shadowsinger, a spymaster, and he can pry details out of anyone but you. All he can feel is your emotions-your emotions... Elain had pulled Azriel from his thoughts as she hugged a pot to herself.
“Az? Are you coming?” She says as she waits for him to follow her to the garden. Again he hesitates but he feels a stirring in his chest. Azriel lifts up a hand instinctively touching it, a sharp sensation could be felt beneath his chest. It couldn’t be? Could it? Azriel’s eyes widen, Elain takes a breath “ I’ll be outside Az when you’re ready-“ Azriel moves his feet faster than his mind could process, he was out of the town house door, his wings pushing him off the ground shooting him into the sky, he needing some time to think..
___
The moons at its highest peak, your curtains flowing with gentle breeze that filtered through your bedroom. The candles and lights burnt out signaling that you were asleep, that was until you heard a creak in the floorboard, and the atmosphere changed, a darker presence filled the space. You were lying on your stomach, your hands slipping beneath the pillow as you grip the handle of the blade you’ve hidden beneath it. You felt the figure stop just before your bed frame, you could hear them bend down towards your face. As they reached for you, you swiftly reached out a free hand grabbing them, you flipped them onto the bed, rolling over pinning them down with your blade tucked against their neck in the most vulnerable area.
“ It’s only me” He whispers, the lights in the room reaching a dim hue, illuminating the area.
“ Jeez Az, I could’ve killed you” You replied tiredly, you pulled back the blade placing it on the end table. Azriel’s eyes followed your movement above him, your hips and legs straddling him, your hair in an unruly nature, from slumber. The candles hue amidst the room, caresses your face, your bare legs, your skin making it appear warm to the touch. You had worn a tunic that wasn’t yours, it hugged loosely around your body frame. The tunic looked oddly familiar to Azriel but then again he wasn’t so sure. All he wanted to do was rip whoevers tunic that belonged to, off of your body and replace it with his.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you-” He apologizes,”-I have one question I’d like to ask you” Azriel whispers, as he watches your facial expression twitch into a sleepy confusion.
“This couldn’t wait till morning?” You sighed as your hand moved to rub the sleep from your face. You remove yourself from him, you slip off the bed but not before Azriel caught your wrist. He shifts himself so that he sits up lifting himself off the bed. He towers over you, the candle's glowing light touches his features in a way that it could come off intimidating, but there was a more intimate, soft, texture that made him appear more angelic.
“ No I’m afraid not.” He admits.
You nod your head” What’s your question?”
“ How long have you known about the bond?”Azriel’s voice low, as if to test the waters but enough to plunge himself. He needed answers and after speaking with Rhys, it was his right.
“ What?” Your face dropped, your skin becoming clammy as nervousness passes through you, sleepiness evades you.
“ You heard me, answer the question” his eyes switch between both of yours, searching and evaluating. He tried to pinpoint every emotion you felt, he tried to feel you through, the only thing stopping him was- you.
“ It's not that simple-” You shook your head, pulling your wrist out of his hold. You weren’t prepared for this, you weren’t ready to unravel all that you worked so hard to ignore.
“ It is that simple” Azriel continued to pry, he didn’t need the bond to notice how uncomfortable and painful this topic was for you-it was news to him, he wanted the truth..no lies no games only the truth
“ No, it’s not. It’s complicated-“ You looked away from him moving to the other side of the room. You couldn't find the words to explain this situation, your reasoning. What if what you told him set him off? What if this ruins everything between your friendships? The alliance that has been created? So many thoughts and questions, never enough answers…but for Azriel you did have an answer to his question..
“ Complicated enough for you to leave.” It was then that feeling in your chest, it builds a thick pressure. A heavyweight on your shoulders, the air almost sucked out your lungs. “ Is that what you told Rhys when you were packing your bags?” You couldn’t breathe, Azriel’s footsteps followed you till he was right behind you. You faintly feel the pulse of his surprise and his anger, as if it was your own, but it had been so long since you’d tapped into the bond. You had spent a century ignoring it, shielding it, and now, it was muscle memory..
“ Don’t make me do this..” You whispered out, a silent plea to move on, to let this go.
“ You knew, and yet you decided not to tell me” His voice held a deep frustration, a deep want and need. He wasn’t going to give up, he had a way with finding out the truth..
“ That’s-not what happened..” You were again stumped with words, torn between giving in or lying, torn between running away or staying..
“ No? Then what happened?” He continues to look down at you, you refuse to meet his gaze. Azriel doesn’t take no for an answer moving towards the front. He stands in front of you. His smell, his faint emotions from the bond slowly consuming you. It surrounds you, his shadows dance along the edges of the room, waiting, watching, whispering.
“ Az-” You warned him, it was another weak attempt to fight him off. But he continued to poke, to pull, to pry, to grasp at anything you’d give him. You were tired, exhausted, hiding your emotions, your thoughts, your protected heart and mind bound to collapse, all secrets were meant to escape..
“ I want the truth, Y/N-”. You took a deep breath, your nerves running a mile a minute. His own anxiousness was replaced with a demanding thirst for the truth. A truth that belonged to him too. You’ve kept this wonderful secret to yourself, he watched as his own family found mates that paired well with them. Watching as their life finds the pieces to the puzzle it was missing. Deep down he wanted that very same thing. He felt as though he may not deserve it but he craved it, to be loved unconditionally… “-You owe me that much”
You sighed, your heart shattering, you gave in, you really hadn’t planned too but the look in his eyes-, “..Before Amarantha began her reign, Rhys made an offer to Thesan to let me stay in Velaris, as an emissary between the courts. It was then that I found out that we were mates… It was then that the deal was made.“
“All these years and you kept this to yourself, why?” His eyebrows furrowed.
“ Because I knew you were in love with Mor. I wasn’t going to take that from you. But I did wait for you, I waited a long time. But when it became an achingly slow desperation, I gave up. I practiced silencing the bond, so I couldn’t feel the emotions you felt when you were around other-women..romantically and lustily I mean. Then Elain came around and it was the same process. I’m exhausted, Azriel. I can’t keep doing this”
“ You didn’t bother to try! You’re running back home because you never thought to ask how I might’ve felt!” His jaw tenses, his head slightly tilted to the side, his frustration grows, at this notion of forcing the information out of you, when you should’ve let it happen, when you should’ve told him..
“ I didn’t because I wanted you to come to your own conclusion. I wanted it to be as natural as possible but you were so invested in Mor and Elain and I’m not one to take you away from that. But I also miss the people I care about, I miss my old home-It’s time for me to go-” You protested.
“ What does Rhys think of this?” Azriel jaw twitches.
“ He was the one who encouraged me to speak with Thesan-“
“ Is that what the discussion was between the two of you?” He presses.
“ Yes but-“ You attempt to defend yourself.
“ Y/N, what exactly did you say to him?” Azriel wanted every detail, every version of this story, of his story, of his mates-his mate.
“ I didn’t- I didn’t say anything. I asked if I could return home, and he told me that I should stay here, that if I truly wanted to come home then he’d considered it.” Your heart leaps into your throat, you swallow it back, the feeling collecting.
“ His answer wasn’t even a Yes” Azriel’s scoffs shaking his head, his hands on his hips as he looks at the floor and then away at the window.
“ Yes- but it’s my decision-“ You looked up at him, watching his movements carefully.
“ No it’s not, you’re not going back there.” He challenged, his eyes find their way back to yours.
“ You can’t decide that.” You tell him, the two of you hurting by the weight of your decision. Azriel’s own heart squeezes painfully, at how easy it was for you to say those words to him. You were his, he wasn’t going to let you just walk away, not without fighting for you.
“ Why not? You’d already decided to keep this to yourself regardless of how I felt” He takes a step forward his arms falling back down to his side.
“ Azriel please listen to me-“ You tried to reason, you tried to find a way to break through, he wasn’t thinking straight, you weren’t thinking straight, neither one of you.
“ No you listen, all those years, all those centuries, you were my friend, and you were someone who loved me. Loved me enough to sacrifice what you felt so I could find happiness. In the depths of my mind I have fought and searched for you without realizing that you were here in front of me..I was too blind to see it. ” His hands flew to your face, your jaw, cupping it, his thumbs grazing your cheekbones. Your hands follow suit as your fingers grip his wrists. His shadows remove themselves from the dark corners of your room, shooting out to tangle around your wrists, not to pull your hands away but to hold you there in place. “ Please don’t run from me” He whispers, his forehead dipping down to rest on yours. His hands slide from your cheeks to the sides of your neck.
“ Az-I can’t stay” You replied quietly, your hands pulling at his wrists weakly at his. You both knew that you could take him down easily, but at this moment in time the two of you were struggling. The tension grew thick in the air. A sort of sharp feeling intensifies, the faded familiarity that was the bond, solidifies. You thought that you had successfully mastered the art of blocking the bond but no. Azriel must’ve truly accepted it, a different feeling takes over, Azriel hums at the feeling. You sucked in a breath.
“ You can’t leave without knowing I’ve accepted the bond” His nose brushes against yours. You shook your head once more, completely pushed Azriel away. Your hands fly to your head, your fingers tangling in your hairs. You wanted nothing more than to curl into yourself, this was too surreal, too overwhelming. You’d spent so long, alone, and working, on occasions waiting. Now you were uncertain, even more than you had been hours ago. Azriel could feel your indecisiveness, he just needed to bring you back to him.
Azriel followed you, he pulled your hands from your hair, one of them he placed on his chest, his heart beating beneath it, you couldn’t look at him. But you could feel the gentleness, the love that flowed through him into you. “ My heart, my soul belongs to you” he tries again. You could feel your body sag at the feeling of comfort. It was so intense and welcoming. You wanted to wrap yourself in it-but you fought it, you were so used to the fighting, the restraint, the self control. “Let go” His voice reaches into the depths of your mind, into your soul, calling out to you.
You placed your forehead on his chest, your hand leaving the area above his heart. Azriel’s wings moved to surround you, his shadows moved to get to you, tangling themselves in your hair, caressing your face and hands. They speak to you wishing you nothing but love and happiness. They bring you comfort, your eyes fluttering shut.
“ Y/N” Azriel calls out. You could feel his hands cupping your face once more tilting it upwards, his breath light. You could feel how close he was, Azriel was right there, all he needed to do-Az’s lips crashed down onto yours, so soft, and yet his kiss held all his desperation, his passion. He couldn’t hold back, not with you, not when he loved you so. You weren’t surprised, in fact you hadn’t realized how much you yearned for his touch, his kiss. Azriel turns his head to the side deepening the kiss, a quiet moan slips out. By the cauldron Azriel loved to hear that sound, he wanted to hear it again, and again, and again. For as long as he lived and breathed.
You were putty in his hands, the feeling of his touch, his thoughts, his emotions was putting you in overdrive. Your mind couldn’t comprehend nor catch up to the pace in which things were happening. Azriel lets go of your lips for a brief moment, allowing you a chance to breathe, a whimper and the need for air also escapes your lips. Azriel had to fight the urge to keep himself from taking you right then and there. You had the urge to let him do it, you placed your hands on his chest pushing him back a step. You couldn’t think with him in your space, Azriel wasn’t going to budge, but with the way you were so caught up and caught off guard, he let you take a second.
“Okay-“ You breathed out. Azriel’s eyes light up, a smile threatens to break out. “ I-um-“ You cleared your throat,”Uh-I-I accept the bond..” you whispered the last part. Azriel’s heart gave a squeeze of joy, his chest filled with lightness, with happiness and relief. All he had ever hoped for had finally come to fruition. A twinkle of mischief sparks in his eyes, a smirk finds its way onto his beautiful features.
“ What was that?” He asks, yet you squint your eyes at him, you know he heard, he knows he heard you, but he wanted you to say it again. “-I didn’t quite hear you” You bit the inside of your cheek still squinting at him. You sighed, your body began to relax, your facial expressions changing to that of a sheepishness. You were struggling to admit it, Azriel waited for you patiently.
“ I-“
“ Yes?”
“ Az” You raised your eyebrows at him, as if to say I’m trying here.
“ I’m sorry, please go on.” He encourages you.
You sighed as you tried again this time “ I accept the bond-” You are much more confident and certain. “I’ve loved you since I’ve known you. You were right, my heart and soul belongs to you-“Azriel couldn’t contain himself much longer as took you into his arms and spun you around. A victorious grin graced both of your features, and for once the weight of the world didn’t feel so heavy in your chests. You gave a light hearted giggle, your heart swooning. Azriel places you back on the ground. You smiled brightly, the twinkle reaching your eyes. “This is happening?” You asked out loud, you searched for clarification.
“ Yeah it is” Azriel let go grabbing your hand pulling you towards the window. You tilted your head to the side, a sweet smile on your lips, a playful yet teasing expression stretches onto Azriel’s face. “Do you trust me?” his hand extends outward.
“ Yes.” You lift your hand to place it into his, this time a new height sense fills both your bodies. The touch feels like a loving hum on your skin. Your minds, your souls, finally resting after all the searching that it had done. You place your hand in his, he guides you out of the window onto the terrace of the town house. You followed him blindly, willingly. Azriel stood taller in the moonlight, and the stars above shining, his shadows nowhere to be found, it was just him. “ Az wait- Elain-“
“She knows, and I’m sure she will be upset with me, but she has Lucien..She doesn’t need me.” He nods. You watch him closely, as you slowly lift a hand to caress his cheek, the touch sweet and warming. Azriel instinctively leans into your touch, turning his head slightly to kiss the palm of your hand.
“ I’m sorry” You whispered, you realized that you may have ruined a friendship for him, a little bit more than a friendship..
“ No I’m sorry” he replies as he takes you back into his arms, the sounds of the city's music playing amongst the trees, the flowers, the plants, the night sky seeming more inviting, more alive. All Azriel knew was in this moment in time he finally understood the accept of the bond, the waiting, the calling, you had always been there waiting for him, you gave him time, space, anything he needed to figure himself out..All those times he spent with other women- then it dawned on him, had you done the same? You chuckled upon feeling that jealous emotion. “ Who’s tunic are you wearing?”
“ Az, it’s yours”
“ What-“ You peel yourself out of his arms.
“ This tunic you let me borrow on a mission we had, remember? Court of nightmares? I was stuck in a brothel, I ended up fighting my way out, my clothes were completely shredded?” You offered bits and pieces of the memory, Azriel’s takes a moment to recollect and it hits him.
“ Yes I remember, you ate a bowl of soup that night at one of the hostels. You hated it,” He chuckled as he remembered the disgusted look on your face. You laughed alongside him. You moved to head back towards your room but Azriel was quick to catch your hand.
”Where are you going?”
“Um-to make you something, we still have to seal the bond.”
“ Not here”
“ Then where?” Azriel grins as he throws one of your arms around his neck, one catches your back the other catches your knees.
“ Somewhere private, where I can have you all to myself, no distractions, just you and me” He whispers to you, his face dipping closer to yours, you sucked in a small breath, the blood beneath your skin singing, practically humming. His arms tightened their hold on you pressing you as flush to him as possible. Azriel looks away and upwards towards the night sky, his wings strong as they help push the two of you off the ground. Excitement filled the air, the night, seemed sweeter, less stuffy, inviting. You guessed that Thesan was right for making you stay here, to reconsider, you were thankful that he pointed you back in the direction of your mate. Azriel was happy that his brother fought for his love, fought for him to find happiness. It was more than just two courts keeping a civil peace, it was about two souls that needed to find each other, even if it takes a century.
2K notes · View notes
glitchfiles · 7 months
Text
only 'til dawn. [ljn]
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pairing ⋆ badboy!jeno x inexperienced/goodgirl!reader
wordcount ⋆ 2.7k+
warnings ⋆ SMUT MINORS DNI!!!, softdom!jeno, smoking, shotgunning, car sex, big dick jeno, corruption, praise, light degradation, oral (m receiving), cowgirl, spanking (once), light choking, creampie...
note ⋆ i had to leave this one in my drafts for some time first because i didn't want to upload two car sex fics in a row then i wanted to rewrite it then i couldn't be asked to do that fully... so yeah, enjoy :D
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"fuck," jeno drawls out as his head lolls to the side, "you're shit at this." he chuckles at your feeble attempt to give him a blowjob.
you look up at him, he seems totally unphased by your attempts to get him off, even going as far as to fish a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of the inner pocket of his leather jacket. the scowl that forms on your brow shows how much it dents your pride; he smirks down at you tauntingly.
"open your mouth a little more." he places a cigarette between his lips and lights the end. "you don't mind if i smoke, right?" you roll your eyes, he could have asked before. at least he had the courtesy to wind the window down.
there was no reason for you to debase yourself like this, the whole situation is beyond demeaning. you’re on your knees in the back of jeno’s car, struggling to please him and now he’s having a smoke mid-head?!
it felt as if your jaw was about to unhinge at any moment, you didn’t know it could stretch this far. the girls in the videos made it look so easy, compared to them, the way you were slobbering all over his girth was far from sexy. not to mention how you were clumsily pumping the rest of his length. not to toot your own horn, but you picked things up easily, this was a whole different ballpark to academic work. 
"you're too big," you whine. your lack of experience definitely didn't have anything to do with the shoddy head you were giving. how he was still hard was a wonder, you’re sure he’s seconds away from going flaccid.
normally, he would have put an end to the whole thing. it's not like he wasn't one text away from a few girls that could suck the soul out of him. however, considering how unsavoury his reputation was, the fact that you, the university’s golden girl, and much-revered student union president, were so eager to please him behind closed doors inflated his ego more than anything else could.
he couldn’t help but find humour in how ardently you refused to acknowledge him in public at times like this; if you spotted him on campus you looked the other way. but the moment he shot you a text, you were swooning and giggling, begging to meet up. so, here you were, in the dead of night, at the back of an empty parking lot a couple of miles away from campus.
“you’re lucky you have a patient teacher, i’m going to turn you into an expert!” jeno directs you between drags of his cigarette, blowing the smoke out of the windows as he laughs at you being unable to get the hang of it. saying you feel frustrated would be an understatement.
"i don't want to do this anymore," you sit up, finally admitting defeat and letting his heavy cock flop down against his abdomen. if jeno were a better person, he would have stopped you a few minutes ago, but you were so eager to please him and he loved the adorable pout on your lips and how your brows furrowed whenever you were exasperated.
"then what do you want to do?" you can think of a few things, but they would be super embarrassing to say. so, you refused to answer. he sighs before slotting his cigarette between his lips, leaving his hands free to pull you onto his lap.
"wanna try?" you don't know what possesses you, but you nod. 
how bad can it be? 
he taps the burnt end off, letting the ashes fall out the window before setting the cigarette between your lips. it feels childish to admit, but the fact that you had shared an indirect kiss makes you smile. this doesn't last long, though; after a short pull, you end up choking.
"god, that's awful!" you squeak as he belly laughs, only stopping when you hit his chest. all he's done tonight is tease you.
"i thought so too when i first tried." he soothes you, so as to not incur any more of your light-handed wrath. "why don't we start with some baby steps?" 
you're unsure what he means until his large, rough hand is placed gently under your jaw and his thumb brushes over your lower lip, "open up for me, angel."
he takes a long drag before tilting his head to the side and filling your mouth with a thick cloud of smoke. you're not sure what this is, but it feels intimate. it feels as if he’s breathing life into you. your whole body warms and tingles, your head spins, and a fire lights in your core.
once his lungs are empty, he seals it with a kiss. it's slow and passionate. his hand slides round to the back of your neck, pulling you closer. maybe it’s the nicotine running through your veins, you feel lightheaded. you let him slip his tongue past your lips to dance around your own.
the sweet flavour of your strawberry lip balm he was used to intermingled with the bitterness of his cigarette. he can't help but groan at the fact you taste a lot more like him now. 
the cigarette he's momentarily forgotten in his hand gets flicked away to burn to a butt somewhere on the tarmac outside. his now free hand comes to rest on your hip. it guides your body forwards, bringing your clothed centre flush against his bare cock.
you mewl into his mouth, he swallows down the sound. he’s greedy for more and starts rocking against you. grinding out then gulping down your noises, they go straight down to his cock. it’s throbbing, you can feel how painfully hard he is underneath you. only when he’s met with an uncomfortable stickiness due to his precum seeping through his shirt does he put an end to his gluttony.
a begrudging whine fills the car as he pulls your lips away from him. the look in his eyes alone was almost enough to make you cream, it was different to the cocky, yet lewd, eye fucking that seemed to be his default. those dark eyes of his turned into endless pits of boundless desire.
warm hands glide under your sweater, tugging it over your head, off your body to let it land somewhere in the front of his car. he does the same with his own shirt, sitting back to let you admire the rippling muscles on his torso. you delicately placed a hand on his chest, sliding it down to his abdomen; it seems he doesn’t have to have his dick in your mouth to have you drooling over him.
“like what you see, baby?” the smug look on his face makes your stomach twist.
“shut up,” you smash your lips against his again before he can speak again. 
jeno rushes to unclasp your bra, pushing the fabric out of his way so he can knead at your breasts; not before long, his mouth leaves you to pepper kisses down your neck then it encloses around one of your pert nipples. 
“mmm, jeno!” you mewl as his tongue laps at the bud, causing your back to arch in search of more stimulation. a hand weaves itself into his inky, thick locks, pushing him to give attention to the other side. “jeno, more!”
“i love hearing you say my name,” he growls against your chest, “wanted to hear you say it all week, but you don’t even spare me a glance unless i have my cock out.” 
you ignore the slight bitterness in his tone focusing on how he nips at your skin, leaving dark marks he hopes will last until he next sees you. marks that he hopes others will see and know you belong to someone; you’ll probably chastise him later over text but he doesn’t care, anything to keep him on your mind like you're always on his. 
reluctantly, he detaches himself from your chest and sits back, eyeing the drying traces of saliva he left with a dazed smile. 
“what next? tell me.” his hands delicately caress your hips, your cheeks begin to heat up and you avoid his eye contact. “don’t act all coy now, where’s the girl that begged me to drive her out here and fuck her dumb?” 
you were still clinging onto the last dregs of your virtuous good girl persona - the last white spots on a canvas he had first found unsullied. your first sin had been naivety, too easily seduced by a good-looking face and the sweet nothings he whispered in your ears but he had been more than happy to lengthen the list.
you wondered if this was how you had always been - or was he corrupting you. he broke down every conception you had of yourself and no one outside of the car you both sat in would believe this was you - you barely did yourself. some would say he was ruining you, but he’d never make you do something you didn’t want to, this was all you.
“please…” you let your head fall onto the crook of his neck, voice barely above a whisper. “want you inside.”
“a smart girl like you can be more descriptive than that.” he strokes a finger down your back, leaving a trail of heat on your spine, in hopes of prompting lewder vocabulary. you take a moment to chew your bottom lip and swallow down the last bit of dignity you had.
“please, fuck me.” you weep against the shell of his ear, “fill my pussy up, i need you so bad, jeno.” 
“sound so pretty when you tell me what you want.” his low-toned praise makes you shiver as he flips your skirt up and raises your hips. he pushes your panties to the side to position his cock at your dripping entrance. taking a second to tease your slit, making sure to brush over your swollen clit, only to hold you still when your hips jerk forward.
“look at me, angel.” you perk up for him, “so beautiful,” he tucks a stray lock of hair behind your ear. his gaze holds yours firmly as he brings you down on his bulbous tip, stretching you out slowly.
you struggle to keep your eyes from shutting. your mouth hangs open letting out hushed gasps as you sink down an inch at a time. he thinks you’re the prettiest creature he’s ever laid eyes on. 
“keep going... yeah, just like that... so good...” his soft gaze, light touch and encouraging words make things easier. he can feel your walls begin to relax and hungrily accept his girth. 
“‘s so fucking big,” you wail out, not even having taken him fully. you couldn’t quite yet without his help, though you’ll get there eventually - he’d make sure of that. 
“i know, baby, but you take me so well. can you move for me?” you nod shyly, lifting yourself and dropping back down as far as you can with a long whine. up and down, you split yourself open over and over. 
jeno’s hands press into your flesh, silently encouraging you to take more of him. you work your hips faster, earning a deep groan from him as his head falls back. instinctively, your mouth attaches itself to his neck, mimicking the way he had kissed and sucked at your own earlier.
“for such a sweet, innocent girl, you sure do ride like a slut.” he breathily laughs as his hand comes down on your ass with a sounding slap. “like the way my cock stretches this tight cunt out.” there’s no hiding the way your walls clench at the sharp sting. you try to find refuge from your embarrassment by hiding your face in his shoulder, but he quickly takes ahold of your throat, forcing you to sit up straight.
“don’t hide from me,” he tells you warningly and squeezes your neck lightly. once again your eyes lock, his stare as intense as ever. your teeth sink into your bottom lip and you rest your hands on his strong chest, adopting a faster pace. 
he lets out moans which you naturally reciprocate, however, you embellish yours with his name; you feel his cock twitch at the sound of it. the look in his eyes turns wild as his fingers dig deeper into the meat of your ass, forming a nearly bruising grip; with the other hand, he’s careful not to cut off airflow but forms a hold that leaves you feeling dizzy. 
“you know exactly what you do to me.” he chuckles, “you were fucking made for me, made for taking my cock, weren’t you? yeah, so perfect, angel.”
your legs begin to shake, his words and his cock are quickly pushing you towards the pinnacle. you try your very best to work through the overwhelming pleasure and the ache in your thighs, wanting to get him off since you failed at sucking his dick. but you can't seem to power through it, tears well in your eyes as everything becomes too overwhelming, it's far too much.
“need help, baby?” his soft spot for you wins, “did such a good job for me. i’ll take care of you, make you cum all over my cock. want that?”
“please, need to cum so bad.” his hand leaves your neck and places itself and your other asscheek. he plants his feet firmly and then rams up into you.
your brain goes blank in an instant. 
he’s deep. so deep. too deep!
you cry out, nails digging into his broad, muscular shoulders to anchor yourself. the tears that had threatened to leave your eyes before stream down your face, staining your cheeks. your whole body quivers as his cock lays kisses on your cervix with each thrust. 
“jeno, oh my god, right there!” you practically scream. his face screws at the feeling of your walls constricting, getting tighter by the second and making it harder to move; he powers through by jackhammering into you with more force. 
it feels like you could break at any moment, he's bouncing you on his cock like you're a ragdoll and you're too weak to do anything but take and enjoy it. all it takes is a few more thrusts before you’re creaming all over him. your body seizes as your eyes roll back, and his name tumbles from your lips incessantly in pleasured sobs. 
it’s hard to keep you in one place as he continues to fuck you through your orgasm, but he handles your squirming body with ease using his strength. the most ungodly wet squelches fill the car as he races towards his own release, your sticky mess clings to both of your thighs. 
“shit… pussy’s sucking me in so deep, gonna cum.” his chest rises and falls dramatically, he can barely breathe. his thrusts get choppier as he loses himself to the feral urge to paint your insides pearly white.
a heavy groan rips through him as his balls tighten, he nestles his cock nice and deep as he pours hot spurts of cum into you. he fills you with warmth; you feel complete for a moment. unfortunately, all good things must come to an end eventually. 
you could almost start crying again when he pulls you off of him. his praise on how well you took his cum as it dribbles out of your cunt makes up for it, though. his tongue swipes across his lips as he watches it drip all over his cock, unbothered by the fact half of it is soiling his leather car seats too. 
the sound of your wild breathing is all that fills the car for a moment until his lips find yours one last time. breathlessly kissing you, there is less vigour than before but just as much passion. your heart warms for a moment at the almost bashful smile on his face as he rests his forehead against yours and wipes the tears that still cling to your soft skin.
this feels right, perfect even, but it only takes a few words for him to fuck it all up.
“wanna come over to mine?” jeno regrets his words immediately, the expression on your face sour at the thought of someone spotting you walking into his dorm or one of his loud-mouthed roommates blabbering about you spending the night together.
give jeno a hand and he’ll end up taking the whole arm.
you pull away from him suddenly remembering who you are.
“don’t be ridiculous, you know i can’t even be caught dead with you.” you grimace at the mess between your legs as you reposition your panties; then, you search for the clothing he had strewn around the car.
you don’t even look at him when you demand him to. “just drop me off where you usually do.”
jeno grins even at your cold-hearted rejection. not just anyone could say they had a place between your legs; he’s sure he’ll have a place in your heart too soon enough…
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★ thanks for reading! my inbox is open for feedback and requests! :3
© glitchfiles
3K notes · View notes
strawb3rrystar · 3 months
Note
Hazbin hotel with a bunny-like demon reader? Nsfw and sfw if possible. Love your writing btw!
Stop stealing my FUCKING CARROTS BUGS BUNNY.
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Pairing: Charlie Morningstar, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Husk, Sir Pentious, Alastor, Lucifer Morningstar, Vox, Valentino x GN! Bunny-like demon! Reader
Warnings: Nsfw stuff, Mentions heat-cycles, Aroace Alastor
Word count: 1.1k
✰Masterlist
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Charlie Morningstar - Rabbit species: Pygmy rabbit
Sfw:
✰ She'll 100% play with your ears if you have them! She'll have you lay your head in her lap while she runs her fingers over the backs of your ears and into/over your hair.
✰ Will probably ask you a bunch of rabbit related questions. Like, do you like carrots over lettuce? Or do you have a heightened sense of smell? Better hearing?
✰ She'll squeal every time she sees your nose twitch. She thinks it's the most adorable thing ever.
✰ Will give you bunny kisses while you are cuddling and trap you in a koala hug.
Nsfw:
✰ I headcanon her to be more bottom leaning
✰ She works so hard all day, so she needs you to take control in bed
✰ I don't think you guys do anything extreme, pretty vanilla and fluffy
✰ You guys probably take things slow and use sex as a way to relax
✰ She'll 100% help you with your heat-cycle if you let her
Vaggie - Rabbit species: European rabbit
Sfw:
✰ Will let you touch her wings if she can touch your ears
✰ She was so worried the first time she heard your high-pitch squeal of distress. Turns out, Niffty accidentally bumped into you while cleaning.
✰ Her favorite thing that you do is when you thump your foot to get her attention
✰ She also finds that she's a lot more comfortable with you nuzzled into her side
Nsfw:
✰ I headcanon her to be a service switch
✰ She can lean both ways, but she always focuses on your pleasure
✰ Make sure you take care of her every once and a while though
✰ Again, I don't think you two would do anything too crazy
✰ I think sex with Vaggie would be sweet and loving
Angel Dust - Rabbit species: Mexican cottontail
Sfw:
✰ Do I think he likes to pick you up and spin you around? Yes, yes I do
✰ Will let you play with his chest fluff while he plays with your tail
✰ He'll tease you in a loving way, don't be afraid to tease him back
✰ Will constantly be giving you flirtatious winks across the room and cheek and forehead pecks.
Nsfw:
✰ I headcanon him being a power switch
✰ His work requires him to be the bottom in every situation, but I think he likes to be the one on top with his partner
✰ He likes to know he has complete control over his life outside of work and doesn't have to be treated like a toy all the time
✰ Since he's done every kink at least once, I think he'd be more than happy to guide you through whatever you want to explore
Husk - Rabbit species: Dice's cottontail
Sfw:
✰ You were a bit weary of him at first because cats are sometimes predators of rabbits. But you eventually warmed up to him.
✰ He was freaked out when he discovered you sometimes sleep with your eyes open
✰ You probably kick him in his sleep, but he doesn't mind
✰ He does not know how to deal with your zoomies. You guys are like the complete opposite when it comes to activity
Nsfw:
✰ I headcanon him to be a service switch
✰ He can also lean both ways and doesn't mind taking a less dominant role
✰ In his mind, as long as you're happy and getting pleasure he doesn't mind doing anything at all
✰ You guys help each other out during your heat cycle
Sir Pentious - Rabbit species: Volcano rabbit
Sfw:
✰ He likes to curl up in your lap and stay there for as long as he can
✰ Will tear up if he finds you taking care of his egg bois
✰ You guys have a garden together and he makes you mini bouquets of flowers
✰ He sleeps curled up next to you for warmth
Nsfw:
✰ I headcanon that he's a bottom
✰ Pentious does not have a dominant bone in his body
✰ He might be a little subconscious about having two dicks, so give him all the kisses in the world
✰ You'll definitely have to take the lead because he'll be too shy to
Alastor - Rabbit species: Swamp rabbit
✰ Imagine him owning your soul and treating you like a pet
✰ Dragging you around everywhere just because he can
✰ Giving you a pat on the head if you did a good job on something
✰ Feeding you treats for the most mundane, stupidest tasks
✰ Actually addressing you as bunny or pet
✰ Keeping you on a leash so you never get away
Lucifer - Rabbit species: Omilteme cottontail
Sfw:
✰ Will wrap his wings around you when you cuddle
✰ He'll boop your nose or play with your ears at random times of the day
✰ Gifts you rubber duckies with rabbit ears
✰ Does a TON of research about rabbit behaviors and your species
Nsfw:
✰ I see him as a service switch, who is more bottom leaning
✰ Like, he LIVES to pleasure you
✰ Literally can not get off if your not
✰ He whimpers (That's all I'm saying bc Lucifer fans scare me)
Vox - Rabbit species: Desert cottontail
Sfw:
✰ Will sneak up on you an rub your ears and then tease you when you have a reaction
✰ He'll play cartoons on his screen to get you to pay attention
✰ If you thump your foot at him, he'll do it back
✰ Teases your tail until it drives you crazy
Nsfw:
✰ I headcanon that he's a bratty switch
✰ He's a tease in every sense of the word
✰ Will help you with your heat-cycle though
✰ But then he'll purposefully tease you in a public setting to turn you on
Valentino - Rabbit species: Tres Marias cottontail
Sfw:
✰ Like Vox, he also likes to tease you
✰ Will use the disadvantages of your body against you, so do it right back
✰ If you like flopping when you're comfortable, he'll join you and nuzzle his face into your neck
✰ He'll find it odd at first when he notices you like rubbing your chin on him. So he'll ask Vox why you do that, once he explains Val will be very honored you do that.
Nsfw:
✰ This man can not top you
✰ Kiss your dreams of being dominant goodbye
✰ Will make you cum over and over again until he satisfied
✰ 100% will help you with your heat-cycle
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Star's notes -> I did WAY too much research on rabbits for this
(Thank you, @lovely-dove69 for requesting!) (Requests are open!)
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Taglist -> @alexandria-fandom @corruptcoder @perfectlycraftychaos @stressedbleach @ghostdoodlen @roboticsuccubus83 @calalapatapola @budozone @sugarplumz100 @marenelili @myamythos @hazbinhappy | Join the taglist
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Pt2Danny Accidentally becomes the Ghost king, the president and the biggest threat to Bruce's social status.
Pt 1 link:
Part 2 Danny becomes the president.
Amity Parkers are the most adaptable people in the world. They're barely fazed by anything.
If you throw them into a situation that they are very unfamiliar with, it'll only take them five minutes to adjust before they start planning on how to live with this situation.
The Amity Parker mindset is: "Oh, I guess this is happening now."
So when the ghosts start attacking? The Amity Parkers immediately look for ways to avoid and protect themselves from the ghosts, not even questioning why ghosts are real. The only thing they think about is, "Damn, there's a ghost. I hope it doesn't attack the theater; I really want to see that movie."
When Phantom had his debut as a hero? The Amity Parkers started looking for ways to help, ways to keep out of his way (some to try and keep him away). The thought running through their minds was, "So this one is trying to protect us? Guess we have a hero now."
Amity Parkers don't spend their time getting mad at the sudden change of routine, the sudden loss of normalcy, or the broken buildings. Amity Parkers don't ask why and how ghosts are real, don't question if all ghosts are evil or if there are some good ghosts, and don't even think of how to get rid of them completely (they're part of the community now). They only look for ways to keep themselves from getting overshadowed. They definitely don't spend time thinking if the ghosts could bring more danger in the future or looking for more information for possible contingency plans. They aren't Batman; they believe that if the present is good, then the future will be better.
Point is, Amity Parkers are resilient and adaptable. They will take everything in stride and focus on the present. So what if some ghosts attack and block the street? They need to get to work, so they'll just drive around it.
After the whole Pariah Dark thing, they become liminal, gaining some form of super strength and glowing eyes (symptoms vary based on how strong the radiation on a person is). A normal human would think, "OH MY GOD, I'M DYING!" The Amity Parkers went, "Oh, cool, this is cool, but now I'm having a problem with opening doors without breaking the knob. Maybe the Fentons could do something about it, make stronger knobs or something."
When some babies started gaining some inhuman features? Some start floating? (Sharper ears, fangs. Babies adapt to things faster, so they get more ecto radiation.) The Amity parents went, "Is there a way to keep my child on the ground without leashing them like a dog?" Then proceeded to make a help blog for other Amity parents dealing with the same things.
So when the ghosts start becoming more of the community rather than enemies, the Amity Parkers just shrugged and asked for a book of ghost customs so they don't accidentally offend them.
When the Fentons started making ghost and human-safe items, no one even questioned why Danny had so much money and was funding his parents' research.
When Danny's name was almost (if not) in everything and he seemed to own most of the town, no one questioned it.
But everything changed when the GIW came again. Even the Amity Parkers weren't expecting this change.
The GIW waltzed in, claiming the liminal town was theirs to play with and started attacking everyone, including the Amity Parkers. The Amity Parkers went full defense mode, protecting the ghosts that were now their friends/neighbors/lovers, making sure that nothing would harm them.
They learned that it was Vlad who called on the GIW. He was pissed and petty that the crown was taken from him and decided to report his liminal town, pretending to be a "concerned mayor" who "wants his people to be healed."
The Amity Parkers were mad... they were furious.
And in the moment they saw Phantom fall to the ground, unconscious, and watched him de-transform from the hero King Phantom to the kid that owns and funds the most helpful companies in town, something changed. Something in the Amity Parkers changed.
Keep in mind that Amity Parkers don't change; they remain the same as they adapt to whatever change the world throws at them.
NEVER ONCE HAD THE AMITY PARKERS DECIDED TO MAKE A CHANGE THEMSELVES.
The first thing they changed? Their mentality. NEVER AGAIN WERE THEY GOING TO LET OUTSIDE FACTORS CHANGE THEIR LIVES. THIS IS THEIR TOWN AND IT WILL STAY THAT WAY.
God help the GIW for being their first victims.
An angry town of liminals, ghosts, and borderline gods, who have access to the Fentons' very destructive and effective technology.
Vs.
The regular GIW humans with anti-ghost tech they stole from the Fentons and nothing against liminals.
The battle was a swift victory, destroying not only the GIW in town but also all of its branches (and Vlad) with almost no traces of them even existing in the first place.
The change didn't stop there, however.
The Amity Parkers banded together with Team Phantom and the Fentons (minus Danny, as he is healing and shouldn't know about their plans; the hero should rest) and took out some of that ghost king money that Danny's trying to get rid of. They crashed the UN meeting while kidnapping the president of America.
The Amity Parkers have decided that Amity Park is theirs; it belongs to the people and its heroes. But how is it supposed to be truly theirs if they have to follow the rules of the country that funded the GIW?
A couple of death threats, bribing, more death threats and more money bribing to make sure the anti ecto acts are gone and the League of Bitches (Phantom called the JL that, and the Amity Parkers decided it was true) doesn't know about it, and a couple of hours in the nightmare realm (courtesy of Fright Knight, who happily participated when he found out what happened), and Amity Park was now its own independent country.
They decided that Tucker was to be a main part of security, letting him put up another firewall like the GIW did to make sure no one knows about their country. They don't want the League of Bitches or any outsider in the King's Haunt. It's theirs now; it belongs to the Ghost King of Amity Park, outsiders be gone.
And when it came to deciding who would be leader? There was no hesitation as they wrote down:
Daniel "Danny Phantom" Fenton, King of the Infinite Realms, King and President of Amity Park.
___________________
A couple of years later, Batman, finding hints of a "Lazarus pit" in Illinois, send Flash to look around for anything suspicious. Flash, hyper focused on following his gps, hits a wall, literally faceplants into it.He double checks his map, the wall wasn't supposed to be there. He goes around it, there no way in, no way out. He goes back to batman and reports.
Pt3 soon.
Tags as requested
@nana-mizu-shiki
@talia-scar123
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thedarkdisgrace · 3 months
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Ok, follow up post to the original cause I wanted to actually offer my analysis/interpretation on this.
I feel like this is a right/left brain analogy 🧵
Dazai covering his right side, the side supposedly responsible for the emotional & artistic things. It says alot about his mindset, accurate for that time.
It’s intriguing, then, Kouyou covers the “logical” side
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I feel like this lends to why Chuuya & Kouyou do get along well. While both Chuuya & Kouyou are no doubt very intelligent (Asagiri literally refers to Chuuya as a genius) they both still lean very much into their emotional side as well. Even if Kouyou seemingly does so less.
Kouyou reveals herself, however, not only in her care for Chuuya but we mainly see it how she handled the situation with Kyoka.
She could have insisted Kyoka come back without ever changing her mind but when Dazai presents her with a way to save Kyoka from dark, she agrees quickly.
Kouyou clearly cares & wanted to help & protect Kyoka even if she went about it poorly. She was trying to help based on her past experiences, lest we forget that she tried to leave the mafia herself once, for *love* no less. She also tends to get emotional when talking about her past or her wish to help Kyoka.
But once she was presented with another solution, a far better one, she didn’t do “what’s best for the mafia”. Kouyou agreed to what was best for Kyoka & that was definitely a more emotional choice.
This is an area where Chuuya & Kouyou align. So, of course they would get along.
Chuuya always seems to find the balance between his logic and emotion. However, he can easily & often does lean more into his emotional side first, then his logical side.
It’s similar for Kouyou, even if we don’t see it as much from her.
Back to Dazai then, when he left the mafia & the cover on Dazai’s “emotional side” was gone Dazai seemed to also move more towards that balancing of the two sides.
He started off heavily relying on his logical brain & struggled emotionally. Often feeling numb or apathetic mostly, hence his suicidal ideation.
Then he meets Chuuya & this shifts. Chuuya forces him to experience new feelings. As Chuuya is a living breathing example of most things Dazai felt the world lacked. It opened Dazai to the idea that there is more to the world, there is more to *people*. Chuuya intrigues Dazai enough to make him want to live a little longer again. Chuuya gave him a reason to keep going, a promise of more.
From the moment he met Chuuya, it was a process of letting more & more emotions seep into his mind & his heart. We see how he feared for Chuuya in 15 even after they just met, even though Dazai *knew* it was a plan.
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I might even venture to go as far as to say Dazai may not have feared for someone else’s life that hard before. It was a burst of unrecognizable emotions to him. After this, he only had more & more emotion seep in as the years went by. In Storm Bringer he was ready to sacrifice the city to give Chuuya a choice.
That relationship opened Dazai up to others later, namely Oda & Ango. Which only further encouraged the intermingling of his logical brain and his emotions. Then reaching the point at which the bandages were finally removed entirely and then he, like Chuuya, moved to striving to find the balance rather than relying on one side.
Bringing us back to current Dazai as he is still attempting to find that balance.
He still leans more towards his logical side. This, of course, in contrast to Chuuya who, while intelligent, more easily leans into the emotional.
Yet another thing between them that completes & balances each other. Soukoku will always pull the other back when drifting too far.
So, of course, Soukoku complement each other & it benefits them both.
Having Kouyou on Chuuya’s other side I think also does help Chuuya stay grounded while in the mafia. Chuuya isn’t one to lose who he is but I think having someone else who he knows *cares* like he does helps.
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Now, additionally, if we apply this to Beast, I think this also says alot about beast Dazai & why Asagiri says beastzai would be the hardest for someone to portray.
Because *this* Dazai, is perhaps *too* far into his emotional side. He’s always intelligent but in beast, his actions aren’t fully logical, they’re emotional.
He appears cold & calculating as always but he saw another version of himself suffer the great loss of a best friend & allowed his emotional desire to prevent that from happening take control. Thus, his emotional side takes over, thus him covering the opposite side from canon Dazai, he’s covering his “logical” side.
I feel like this is the main difference between all the various Dazai we’ve seen.
PM Dazai relied heavily on his logical side, especially before meeting Chuuya. He rarely took emotion into account unless it involved the 3 people he actually cared for. We see him make emotional choices when it involves Chuuya, Oda, and Ango. Dazai did seem to let more and more emotion seep in over time as a result of knowing them, however, leading to that moment the bandages are removed.
Beastzai is leaning far too heavily into his emotional side, getting lost in it even. Acting solely on an emotional desire rather than a logical one. His desire to prevent a tragedy. He only was using his intellect to further that emotional desire.
Canonzai went through a steady progression, meeting Chuuya starts to open him up, this extending over time to Oda & Ango, leading to the cover on his “emotional” side being taken off.
But beastzai skipped all of that, all the *progression* to that point for canonzai & so beastzai just got all these intense emotions he never experienced before all at once when he saw canonzai’s memories & therefore he sunk far too deep, too quickly into his emotions.
Now current/ADA Dazai is the balance of the two extremes, and seemingly the closest to happiness.
ADA Dazai uses his logical brain as always but he also actually takes emotion into account as well and has more people he actually cares for now.
I think that says alot to the theme of bsd, leaning into that “everything is grey” dynamic. Everything is about the *balance* of things. Showcasing that anything in extremes in either direction doesn’t work.
Anyway, just some thoughts I had and interpretations of mine. Take them as you want, as always.
Oh and just to be clear, I don’t think Dazai was ever “emotionless”, even at his worse. Even if he was numb and apathetic. He was also lonely.
Just saying the more people he came to care about (Chuuya, Oda, Ango then later the ADA) the more he was able to feel a variety of emotion.
My original post:
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minarinnn · 5 months
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“make you feel good”
luke castellan x reader
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content/trigger warning: smut, afab! reader, oral (r! recieving), fingering, established relationship
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you giggled into the kiss, feeling luke’s hands slip inside your shirt and lay on your bare hips. you could feel him smiling against you, like he always did. the two of you would often meet in the woods to make out hang out peacefully.
you sat on his lap and everything was as usual, though you noticed a sudden change in luke. the fluffy and soft kiss had become sloppy, more passionate and almost desperate. your breath hitched when you felt his hands traveling upwards under your shirt, and given that you’ve never done anything like this before— you stop him. panting as you looked at him like a deer in headlights.
“what’s wrong?” he pants out softly, his hands had found their way back to your hips and his thumb began caressing your soft skin. “nothing i just..” you tried to find the right words to say, all while thinking about what you *actually wanted to say. it’s not like you don’t want to have sex with him, you’ve just never done it before, so it obviously scared you a bit.
“you just what? what’s on your mind?” his tone was always so soft and caring. so even though it embarrassed the fuck out of you, you spoke “are we going further? i’ve never gone farther. not that i don’t want to, it’s just i never have so, y’know, scary”. you bit the inside of your cheek, awaiting his response. his brows were slightly furrowed and for a moment you thought you had read the situation all wrong.
“fuck.. is that not what was happening? i-i’m sorry i didn’t mean to-“ you stopped talking once you felt him pull you down onto him, that’s when you felt it poking up at you. how the hell did you not notice it before??. “we don’t have to if-“ “i want to” his eyes widen slightly at your quick response, eyebrows raising at you, almost in disbelief. he then chuckles. “how ‘bout i make you feel good and you can just worry ‘bout me another time?” he offered, voice low and seductive.
you’re eyebrows knitted together. what did he mean by that? he slowly laid you down on your back, pressing soft and gentle kisses along your face, gradually going lower and lower. it wasn’t until his hands began to fumble with the button of your pants that you began to understand the situation. you felt like your heart was beating out of your chest with every move he made.
he slid your your shorts down along with your panties, the cool night air brushing along the insides of your thighs making you shiver. his hands gently parted your legs open, a sudden wave of embarrassment washing over you as you watched how intently he looked at your cunt. you turn to look away, the back of your hand resting against your lips.
you could feel his face getting closer, his breath tickling the insides of your thighs. you shut your eyes in anticipation, waiting for him to start. you felt one of his hands caress your thigh, finally deciding to look at him. he laid flat on his stomach, elbow propping him up while his hands rested on the outer sides of your thighs. “you okay?” he asked, you could tell that he wanted to be patient and caring for your sake. you nod, arousal controlling your every movement from the moment you looked into his dazzling brown eyes
he chuckled softly, head finally digging down into you. you gasp when his tongue presses against your cunt, swiping slowly through your folds. “fuck, that feels good" you voiced out, closing your eyes shut. "don't praise me or i might not be able to control myself" luke chuckled. you could feel his breath unintentionally teasing you.
up and down, left and right. he was making sure to make you feel good— better than anyone could ever make you feel. he retracted a hand from your thigh, inserting two fingers into you. "ah fuckkk" you moaned out. but luke wasn’t planning on stopping there. he began to pump his digits into you at a fast pace. you pulled on his hair subconsciously. the pleasure you were feeling in that moment was sending you into another dimension, your eyes rolling back and you could barely think about nothing except how good he was making you feel. feeling his wet muscle work away at your folds while his fingers were knuckle deep, curling up inside you. it was pure bliss.
his cock is twitching and the desire to make you cum from his tongue alone is driving him insane. luke looked up at you, your eyes were already on his but your brows were knitted together and you were biting your lower lip to minimize your sounds. you’re just too cute. he smirked, devouring you even harder. his fingers making scissor motions inside of you. your eyes rolled back and your back arched. you could taste the blood from how hard you had been biting your lip.
you could feel a strange knot in your stomach. unsure of what this feeling was, you tried to push luke off you but he wouldn’t budge. his tongue deep within your cunt. swiping, licking and lapping up everything, in hopes to make you have a pleasurable orgasm
“luuuke” you muffled out, in hopes of warning him in some type of way of the weird feeling in your stomach. his other hands softly caressed your thigh and he emitted a soft hum that made that knot in your stomach break, but luke didn't stop. he kept licking your folds, causing some slight overstimulation. "aghh fuck- wait.. mmghm.. luuuke" you moaned out, whining the man's name. he just chuckled "calm down, i was just cleaning you". you say nothing, playfully glaring at him while you catch your breath. "you taste good" he grinned "kind of addicting". your breathing was heavy and you could feel heat creeping up to your face
your hands cover your face in embarrassment, feeling him move to the side and sit next to you, his hand softly playing with your hair. and that's when it hit you. "what about you?" you asked, turning your head to look at him. he let out a faint laugh, looking at you with eyes that held pure sweetness, no lust behind them at all. "i'm good, just glad i could please you"
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© MINARINNN 2024 - please do not plagiarize or upload my content on any social media platform.
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leahwllmsn · 10 days
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loss of my life
alexia putellas x reader
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Alexia never brings you up during her weekly lunches with Mapi. Today is different.
; angst
It’s a harmless question that Alexia knows the answer to. She doesn’t even know what prompts her mouth to ask that question, but she feels like dying inside with every thought of you, so she doesn’t see the harm in doing so.
“y/n?” Mapi asks back. “Well, you know… She’s good, I guess.”
Alexia rolls her eyes at Mapi’s attempt to be vague. “I’m not going to break.”
Mapi looks up at her, her eyes softening. “I know,” she stays quiet for a moment. “Do you really want to know?”
Alexia looks hesitant, but she nods.
“She’s happy,” Mapi states, looking anywhere but her best friend. “She’s seeing someone. Leah. Lucy introduced them.”
Alexia averts her gaze down to her food. She knows this, she sees Leah’s face every time she opens your Instagram–a habit that she should stop doing if she wants to stop the aching in her heart.
“Ale…” Mapi sighs, placing her hand on top of Alexia’s. 
“I’m fine, Mapi,” Alexia tries to act flippant about it, but she has never been good at hiding her emotions. “I’m glad that she’s happy again.”
Mapi purses her lips, looking like she’s about to say something. After a few seconds she does, “She asked about you too, you know.”
“Really?” Alexia hates how her tone sounds, as if she’s been waiting for that to happen.
“In passing once, when we were having dinner at her place,” Mapi takes a deep breath. “Just, how you were and stuff.”
Alexia nods. That’s better than nothing. That means you still remember her somehow.
As if Mapi can read her mind, she says, “She’s not going to forget you, Ale.”
“I wasn’t thinking about that.”
“But I know you.” Mapi places her utensils down, wiping her mouth with her napkin. “By the way, this food is so good. We should come here more often. I know Ingrid would love it.”
“I miss her,” when Mapi gives her a look, she corrects herself. “Ingrid. I was talking about Ingrid.”
Mapi looks at Alexia like she doesn’t believe her, but she says nothing. “She misses you too. She’s sorry she couldn’t make it to lunch, she’s been really busy these days.”
“You two are okay… right?” Alexia knows the answer to this too, but she just needs the confirmation.
“We are,” Mapi says, her eyes instantly lighting up. “We’re set to move to the new place next month. You’re coming to the house-warming party right?”
Alexia knows that if she does, she’ll see you. She doesn’t know if she’s ready to see you again, especially now that you have someone new. Seeing her ex-fiancé with her new girlfriend on a phone screen is one thing, seeing it in front of her own eyes is another. Alexia knows Leah is visiting. It was all Keira had been talking about.
Mapi, sensing Alexia’s reluctance, gives her a small smile. “You don’t have to... How about, Ingrid and I will text you when they leave, and you can come then?”
With the amount of gatherings Alexia has missed, she starts to feel bad. She knows her situation with you is placing their mutual friends in an uncomfortable position. So she swallows her heartbreak once more and smiles at her best friend. “Don’t be silly, of course I’ll be there.”
“If you’re sure. We can always have our own after-party.”
Alexia shakes her head. “I’ll be fine. Besides, I think I need to see the rest, they’ve been bugging to meet me.”
Mapi laughs. “Jana won’t shut up about how you only accept to go for lunch with Ingrid and I.”
“Yeah,” Alexia grimaces. “It’s hard when all of my friends are her friends too. Every time I see them, I just get reminded of her. I need the break. Besides, I’ll see you all when training starts again, so…”
“Do Ingrid and I not remind you of her?” Mapi looks genuinely curious.
“That’s different,” Alexia shrugs. “I’ve known you since forever, you’re my best friend. And Ingrid is Ingrid. I can’t just not see you. Even if you do remind me of her, I just have to suck it up.”
“Fair point.”
“What did you mean earlier, by the way?”
Mapi looks at her questioningly, “What about?”
Alexia stays silent, staring intently at her food. When Mapi is about to ask her one more time, she speaks up, “About her not forgetting me.”
“Oh, you know,” Mapi takes a sip of her drink. “When you two were together, you were always worried that she would forget you, which I still don’t know where that came from. She was crazy about you.”
“I don’t know either.”
That’s a lie. Alexia knows perfectly why she acted the way she did, but she’s never going to tell anyone about it. She knows that you deserve better than her, that she can never give the love that you wanted, and even though she still loves you, she wasn’t going to let you stay unhappy with her. Alexia knows that she wasn’t meant for you, she just needs to start accepting it so she can move on.
When Mapi doesn’t reply, Alexia speaks again, “It’s pathetic isn’t it?”
“What is?”
“Me.”
Mapi stares at Alexia in disbelief. “Don’t say that.” “It’s true,” Alexia shrugs. “It’s been a year. She moved on, while I’m still stuck here.”
“People heal at their own time.”
Alexia takes a deep breath. “Maybe I’m not meant to heal. I only gave her pain when we were together, maybe this is my punishment.”
“Stop beating yourself down, Alexia.” Mapi looks sad, and Alexia curses herself for always putting the mood down.
“I can’t help it, I’m sorry.” Alexia tries her best to give Mapi a genuine smile. “I’ll get better. For all of you.”
Mapi leans forward, taking Alexia’s hand in hers. “I want you to get better for yourself.”
Alexia knows that, but she still can’t help but feel that she doesn’t deserve to get better.
“I kissed someone else,” Alexia reminds Mapi. “When my fiancé was waiting for me at home.”
Mapi squeezes her hand even further. “I know you have your reasons. Not that I condone cheating,” Mapi grimaces. “It’s just… You loved y/n so much, you wouldn’t do anything to ruin your relationship. Something must’ve happened.”
“I don’t know, I can’t seem to remember my excuse anymore.”
Mapi shrugs. “Well, that’s in the past. Like you said, y/n has moved on. It’s fine if you start doing the same, Ale.”
“I’ll think about it.”
Mapi grins at her. “That’s better than nothing.”
Alexia smiles back at her. “Let’s go. You told Ingrid you’re on your way thirty minutes ago, she’s going to wonder where you are.”
And when Mapi laughs, Alexia can’t help but laugh back. “She can wait. I only get to see you once a week, I see her everyday.”
“You’re lucky,” Alexia gives a wistful smile. “Spending the rest of your days with the one you love.”
“You’ll find someone again, Ale.”
Alexia knows her answer, “probably not,” and she’s about to say that when she sees the hopeful look on Mapi’s face. So she puts on her best happy face and answers, “Sure.” 
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helaelaemond · 9 months
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Honey on my Tongue - Aemond x reader
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Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x betrothed reader
Summary: You’ve been betrothed to Aemond, and he has shown little interest in you during your engagement. It hurts so much, for your heart yearns for him. You can't hold it back any longer
Slightly possessive Aemond. Suggestive situations.
Rating: T
Word count: 1.9k
"Would my lady care to dance?"
You look at the hand held out to you, and glance up at Prince Aegon. He grins down at you, and you take his offer graciously. "Thank you, my prince."
Next to him, the princess watches you curiously, and opposite her, your betrothed, Prince Aemond, keeps his one eye fixed on his brother.
"I think we have an audience," you say quietly, smiling.
"Just as I like," Aegon jokes. His hands are sure against you as you begin the simple dance, stepping in time to the music. At every opportunity, he presses himself closer than is proper. It should bother you - but at least you're getting attention from one prince.
"I do wonder about you sometimes," you tell him when steps bring you closer.
Walking in the correct steps around you, Aegon flashes you another grin. "I am on your mind often, then?"
You can't help but roll your eyes. "When you say things like that, a certain curiosity is sparked."
"And is that a curiosity you wish to be satisfied?"
The wine they serve in the Red Keep is stronger than you're used to, and with it brings a boldness that is also foreign. "Is curiosity the only thing you can satisfy?"
He laughs loudly. "Gods, I am sure you think about that often! Should your curiosity ever grow too great to bear, you come and find me."
"And what of your wife?"
Taking your hand, he glances over your shoulder at sweet Helaena, and shrugs. "What of her?"
"How often do you dishonour her?"
"Where there is no love, there is no dishonour. Perhaps you would do well to remember that."
You raise your eyebrow at his implication. There is mirth in his pretty eyes. "Do you think I am destined for an arrangement where love will not flourish?"
Again, Aegon holds you closer than is proper, and his lips are closer to your ear. "My brother is a warrior and a scholar, not a lover. How warm can steel be in a marriage bed?"
There is a tightness in your chest at his words. Perhaps he means only to be charming, to be suggestive, or perhaps he is deliberately cruel. But it is not the elder brother who gives you butterflies. You glance over at your betrothed, and the ice of his glare makes you shiver.
"My lady?" Aegon asks. You've stopped dancing.
"Ah. My apologies, my prince. I think the wine is stronger than I am used to."
"All the better," he answers quietly, and he winks at you. "Should you desire oblivion this night, come to my chambers."
Your face is close to his, and you smile up at him. "I think not, my prince. Perhaps your hand is more curious than I."
Why did you say that? What in the world made you say that? His jaw hangs open in shock at your boldness, and a blush spreads across your cheeks and down your neck. You return to the table where Aemond and Helaena are sat, and where their mother and grandfather talk together quietly.
"Please excuse me, my queen, my Lord Hand. I think I might retire for the night."
Queen Alicent looks at you, and then at Aegon behind you, her eyes wide and searching. "Are you well, my dear?"
"Just a slightly sore head, Your Grace. Nothing a good sleep will not remedy."
Her smile is tight. "Do not hesitate to send for the maester should you need him. Sleep well, my dear."
You curtsey, and turn to do the same in Helaena and Aemond's direction. "My princess, my prince."
Helaena smiles at you, and Aemond's face is as cold as before. You sweep past Aegon on your way to the door, and ignore how he tries to reach for your hand as you pass him.
Out in the corridor, you lean against the cool stone wall, and try to hold back your tears. The soldiers either side of the hall doors keep their gazes forward. You clamp your hand over your mouth in an attempt to stay silent. How much distaste looked at you with pierces you.
Since you met him, you have felt a draw to him. Sometimes, you have even managed to make him smile enough to laugh. Each time, the queen had looked so pleased. He doesn't seem to laugh often, but you bring that out in him. What a prize. And then, other times, he barely pays you any mind. He doesn't strike up conversations with you unless you speak first. He doesn't invite you to dance.
Those moments with him are precious to you. To him, they don't seem to matter in the slightest.
Meanwhile, Aegon throws himself at you like a whore. Perhaps, one day, you'll take him up on the offer - if for no other reason than to feel something. To close your eyes under his touch and imagine Aemond. Anything is better than this loneliness, surely.
You have to get out of here. As weak as your legs feel, you overcome the desire to crumple, and quickly, you begin walking down the corridor towards your rooms. Until you are married, your rooms are far from the royal quarters - quite a trek through the maze of the Red Keep. The doors to the hall where you have just had dinner with the royal family swing open and then closed, and footsteps join yours.
"Wait!" a command is barked. "My lady."
You ignore the order. Your betrothed is not yet your lord husband - he does not command you. Well, as a prince, he does. But the tears have begun to stream, hot and thick, from your eyes, and surely that will disgust him.
"My lady!"
Even Prince Aemond's harsh voice brings butterflies to your stomach. His gait is far longer than yours. You won't disgrace yourself by running like a child from him, and so he quickly catches up with you. As you walk quickly, he matches his steps to yours.
"You have no respect, do you, my lady?"
Furiously, you wipe your cheeks. "I have respect."
"Then stop when you are commanded."
"The command itself is not respectful. I wish to retire."
"And I wish to speak with you."
The wine. Blame the wine. "That is quite unusual."
He grabs your arm and pulls you into a shadowy alcove. "Do you deliberately wish to displease me?"
You try to wrench your arm from his hold but he's too strong. "There is nothing deliberate about it, but it seems it is the only feeling I can inspire in you."
He stares at you through the shadows, his purple eye searching, cold, and his jaw set. "And here I had thought you were intelligent."
"Do you often think of me?" Your voice is laced with accusation.
"More than you know."
"I know nothing."
"On that much, we agree."
You try to pull out of his hold again, but his slender hand is impossibly strong, a vice around your bicep. "What do you want from me, my prince?"
"Dignity."
"What, pray tell, have I done that you deem undignified?"
His lip curls slightly. He pulls you closer to him. "You danced with him."
"He is your brother - it would be shameful to decline his invitation."
"And what of his other invitations? Do you accept those?"
Your stomach drops, and your eyes widen. "I know not of what you speak," you lie.
"He is a lecherous beast, not worthy of my sister, not worthy of-"
"Of whom?" you challenge.
His lips pull back over his teeth for a moment. The dim light makes shadows sharp across his angular face. Gods, he is beautiful. Even in rage, he is beautiful. And you do not fear him. You only fear his indifference. "You are my betrothed. I expect you to act as such."
"And how ought you act as my betrothed?"
"As I see fit," Aemond says, each word slow and deliberate.
"What of my expectations?"
He glares down at you. Gods, he's tall. It makes you weak. "What expectations do you have?"
"That my betrothed at least pretends to like my company."
That makes his spine straighten. The hand on your arm loosens slightly, and to your surprise, it trails up your shoulder and lightly touches your throat. It's impossible to breathe under such sudden tenderness. You can feel the callouses on his palm. "Pretend?" he echoes.
You nod stiffly. "I do not need to pretend. You know I enjoy your company. Too much, I think."
"Too much?"
"Don't. Do not do that."
Aemond's eye watches as his finger touches the base of your throat in the soft spot between your collarbones. It's where he gently feels your pulse. It's so quick. "Do what?"
"Do not pretend that you are unaware of my feelings."
"There is no pretence. I know not."
You push his hand away, although the touch has made your skin rise in goosebumps from your thighs to your scalp. "Then you are as blind with one eye than with none."
He snorts humourlessly. "Elucidate for me."
The wine, the wine, the wine. You shove his chest and he stumbles back, caught unawares. "I like you a great deal. And it agonises me that you do not feel the same. It is a humiliation!"
Swallowing thickly, Aemond's expression softens. "Aegon makes you laugh. I do not."
"Aegon is a fool, and makes me laugh as such. But I do not... I do not care... like I do... for..."
"You care?"
You could hit him, you really could. "If you could not tell by now, then we shall never make one another happy."
When you turn away to walk off, he catches you again, and suddenly he pulls you tight against his tall frame, and his arms are around your back, and his face is close to yours. "You make me laugh, my lady."
"I make many people laugh. You could make me a royal fool."
"Do not say such things," he hisses, anger flashing again. "You're my betrothed. Mine."
"I do not want to belong to you like a book or sword."
"Yes, you do." He leans down and whispers against your ear. "You are mine, and mine alone. I am sorry that you did not know that until now."
"Do you say this out of pride or love?" you ask, more bravery in your voice than you truly feel.
"My love is proud. And so too is my betrothed."
"Pride does not drive me, my prince. Only love."
"Do you love me?" he murmurs. It is good he is too close to look at. If he faced you, you would not have the strength to answer.
"I do."
"Not Aegon?"
"No."
He kisses under your ear. You whimper. His voice is so silky. "You will not dance with him again."
"Will I dance with you?"
"Every night until we are wed."
As he winds his arms tighter around you, you press a hand into his hair. "And once we are married?"
"We shall have no time for dancing. I shall have no mind for anything but possessing you."
"You want to possess me?"
He kisses your skin. "Entirely. For already, I am yours."
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