#like stuff that was made with good intentions but doesn't magically line up to the modern queer scene

[ae-neon]

ANTI NESSIAN

The short of it:

ACOSF romance sounds like an incel revenge fantasy where the man gets to punish and fuck the woman who rejected him and mold her into a copy of the woman his role model/best friend/ alpha daddy is fucking.

The long of it:

I don't like when women's fear, anger and rejection is taken as a challenge.

Every now and then I wanna read ACOSF, tell myself I'll just ignore the Cassian stuff and eat around it, you know? Then I see canon Nessian interactions and I gag.

I don't know if it's because I don't read dark romance so I haven't been exposed and numbed to the truly heinous things authors are doing in their romances but I can't.

I'm just gonna sit back down in my anti Nessian seat cause it was never my favourite dynamic to begin with but it's to the point I can't even read fanfic bout them anymore (and I'm missing out on some good shit!)

I've read love interests who are mean to everyone BUT their intended partner.

I've read love interests who are mean to everyone INCLUDING their intended partner.

But a love interest who is ONLY mean to his intended partner?

I use the word mean very loosely here.

And maybe it wouldn't be so bad if him constantly pushing her to react or getting in her space didn't include or was immediately followed by super sexual thoughts or intention. That shit is predatory.

Earlier Nessian walked a fine line and I was even willing to move past that awful ACOWAR tent scene but ACOFAS? Cassian doesn't have to be perfect or nice on his own, as a character, but he might as well have thrown the idea of Nessian in the Sidra.

The combo of

wanting Nesta sexually but not liking her personally

having an inferiority complex about himself that he projects onto her interactions with him

History of a high born woman using him and finding a symbol of that same type of woman downtrodden and vulnerable

Having that woman entrusted to his "guidance and care" by almost everyone without question

Confirmation through a magic bond that she was literally made for him, belongs to him and would be best to bear his children (GAG)

Him using his position as her "carer and guardian and authority figure" to punish her on behalf of a man (and group) he desperately looks up to and wants to please

Him molding her to meet the requirements in order to be accepted by said man and group even when it goes directly against how she's expressed she wants to live.

Him molding her to mirror the wife of the man he looks up to

It feels like if this was set in the Victorian period he'd have had her lobotomized and locked away if she didn't correct her behaviour to him and his friends' standards.

Like can you imagine your (already deteriorated) well being signed off to a man who tells himself he loves you but doesn't act like it? wants to fuck you to prove he's good enough to everyone else? Is basically best friends with ACOTAR Elon Musk?

It sounds like an incel revenge fantasy.

And how is several people physically barring someone who is clearly using sex as a coping mechanism from having sex with anyone but this one guy not a weird coercive thing? Like you're taking advantage of her, I'm so disgusted.

All this without even mentioning the 500 year age gap and power imbalance and imprisonment and sense of extreme isolation and lack of mental health care etc etc

#anti nessian #until i die #anti acosf #anti sjm #anti cassian #somebody save her #nesta deserves better #anti ic #anti inner circle #nesta archeron #pro nesta #sjm critical

[endrinstone]

Would you like to watch the Showtime SMP?

[ID: The Showtime SMP logo. It features the name spelled out in a shiny blocky font, coloured gold and purple. End ID.]

[Last updated: 1. 1. 2024]

What is the Showtime SMP, anyway? 

It's an ongoing (mostly) vanilla SMP with a focus on storytelling, started by Zolister on June 9th 2023. It's filled with serious (and often quite dark) plot lines, but still features a good deal of improv and goofing around. Vibes wise, think Lifesteal or DSMP.

It doesn't really have a gimmick, except possibly the fact that it has a canon lives system (basically the same as the DSMP one).

It's loosely a second season of the Sussy SMP (silly name, but a good server). Although some members incorporate it into their character's backstory, you don't have to watch the previous SMP in order understand the current story.

How do I watch it?

The story is told through livestreams. Some members have videos, but they are less "periodic episodes that summarise all that's occurred" and more "occasional showcases of notable events". (A few members also have in-character accounts on twitter and tumblr, those are fun.) To get into the lore, I recommend kantje, Vi, Boba, or Zolister as good starting picks.

Vod archive spreadsheet by @/meep_linger and co, truly a lifesaver.

Lore summary document by @/STFanLoreDocon, can help catch you up.

Introductory twitter thread by @/enderteegs, similar to this post. 

Official twitter account, useful for updates.

Content warnings

Not comprehensive, but I tried to get the main stuff: 

Abuse, addiction, cannibalism, child endangerment, grief, horror themes, manipulation, mental health issues (this subject is occasionally handled badly imo, especially at the start), suicide, unreality, violence, vomit.

Members:

This isn’t everyone who’s ever been on the server (that’s 50+ people). It hopefully includes all currently active members though. A few of the people listed here are no longer active. Additionally, some don't stream their povs, prefering to appear in others' streams.

BobaBear: An interstellar traveler who experienced eons during her explorations. Despite everything that happens, they remain kindhearted, and always willing to give a helping hand. (twitch, vods)

ClaryeOryx: He’s a nice, fairly normal person who stays more at the sidelines. Still sometimes gets dragged into people’s conflicts. (twitter, not a streamer) 

ComplexlyRoss: A mischief maker who operates under cartoon character logic. They have a fondness for pranks, and a disdain for wearing armour. Joined August 2023. (streams on yt, video)

CrimsonBtw: Arrived to the server traumatised after having just experienced a world getting destroyed (the Lifesteal wormhole event, but don't worry if you haven't watched that). Joined August 2023. (twitch, vods, yt)

Crumpets: Cynical, deadpan bar owner. He isn’t too fond of this strange world he was sent to, but he is fond of the money that he can make here. Joined December 2023. (twitch)

Cupid Goozeless: Star has a lot of responsibility on star’s shoulders: he’s a leader, a medic and a father. He worries over others, and if he’s doing a good enough job protecting them. (twitch, yt)

Div_y: Uncovers a recipe for memory-erasing potions. He makes them for those who share his struggle with nightmares and trauma, but not everyone has as good of intentions as he does. Joined July 2023. (yt, 2nd yt, videos: 1, 2)

Effy: A magical creation of wood and wire, they’re one of the wittiest members without even needing to speak. While they may hide behind quips and confidence, they care a whole lot about their friends. (twitter, not a streamer) 

EvanIsLoco: Scientist studying interdimensional travel. He develops a possesion problem after an accident in an ancient city, leading to newfound aggression. (twitch)

Geoful: Shapeshifter made out of blue goop. His silliness only makes it hit harder when he drops angst on you. (twitch) 

IDKnows: Made of flowers, and would be more than happy to rip himself appart if it meant making everyone else happy. Sometimes naive, and others take advantage of that. Joined July 2023 (twitch, yt)

its_kantje: He’s god’s favourite plaything, and he will stop at nothing to get his beloved daughter back from Him. Starts out with a reputation for great business skills, and a knack for conflict resolution. (twitch, vods,  yt. I especially reccomend the ‘Split Apart’ streams)

ItsLilKae: The organiser of the server’s elections. But don’t let her fool you: she isn’t a spearhead of democracy, but a conspirator plotting to achieve absolute power. (twitch, yt)

ivorycello: Ruthless murderer of murderers. With her, the road to tyranny is paved with good intentions, and with pink flowers. (streams on yt, videos 1, 2, playlist)

Merffin: Loose cannon who’ll kill at the slightest provocation. A leader of the Silencers, a group who’ll murder anyone that has the silence trim. (yt, twitch) 

Mika FLapp0: After a long time of watching without being able to properly interact with the world, they gained a corporal form via a failed devil summoning. Joined December 2023. (twitter)

Mugm: Aloof and angry. The only thing that will get him to throw hands quicker than hurting his pride is hurting his family. (yt, twitch)

PheeaBea: Headstrong ex-prisoner who doesn’t like rules getting in the way of their curiosity. Has the the abilities and limitations of fae. Joined December 2023. (twitch, yt) 

Porgie: Lived through an apocalyptic alternate timeline. This led to a desperation to prevent disaster, and to somehow try and deal with the pain and scars of the past. (twitch, yt)

Quakitus: Has been through horrible things, and in turn has done horrible things, notably cannibalism. Healing is a rough journey for her. (twitch, vods, yt)

Rasplin: Loves a good fight, and loves having high status items. He's quite intimidating, but even he isn't completely heartless. (streams on yt, videos: 1, 2)

rinthehecker: Despite her loyalty, trusting others is hard for her, considering all the betrayal she faced, and her mysterious sleepwalking problem. As a dragon, they sometimes find themself homesick for the End. (twitch, yt) 

Rylanets: Has green hair, fairy wings, and flighting skills. Not much of a leader, but he’s always a steadfast teammate. (twitch)

Saturn_720: Still figuring out his place in this world. It’s a difficult task, but running a restaurant and caring for a niece makes it more fun. Joined December 2023. (twitch, yt) 

Silvaasaur: Mugm’s brother, known as the kinder, more emotional one of the two. He’s still just as deadly with a sword. (twitch, yt)

StarbornNebula: Grief sparked a burning desire for vengeance in her. She’ll be satisfied with nothing less than seeing the murderer of her friend die by her hands— but revenge is rarely as sweet as one would hope. (twitch, yt, video)

Strobelati: A cheery cloud person who’d never hurt anyone— at first. She feels emotions very strongly, whether it’s love, despair, or rage. (twitch, yt, video, vods)

TrashyPandius: The local assassin for hire, who happens to be a raccoon. He carries out his hits with an edgy but nonchalant attitude; murder is just business to him, no hard feelings. (twitch)

ViolettaFire: The server's therapist who could really use some therapy himself after everything he's been through. Xe's a pacifist, but don't mistake xyr kindness for weakness. (twitch, yt)

Winsweep: He’s sick of all the egotistical fools around him, and he doesn’t take issue with spilling blood for the sake of solving that. But is this truly him, or is it his mask that’s doing the talking? (twitch, yt)

Xpyz: A set of three semi-immortal beings: the first is gentle, anxious, and just wants her mom back, the second revels in others’ pain, and the third remains a mystery. (twitch, vods)

Zolister: Willing to play the role of a hero or a villain, depending on what he thinks will benefit the community. Solves issues with violence, and by sacrificing their own happiness. (streams on twitch and yt, vods, videos: 1, 2)

ZombieDwarf: There’s two of him: one is a robot who wants to see chaos in the world, and the other is said robot’s creator. Both cannot co-exist in the same place, so they have to decide which one of them will stay. (twitch, vods, yt, video)

#showtime smp #mcyt #zolister #ivorycello #rasplin #endrin’s posts #i really hope i did all the characters justice. at least as much as is possible in 2 sentences w/ minimal spoilers

[dzamie-oc]

Voretober 04 - Hole

Length: 1000 words Vore type: Oral vore, F/M, unwilling prey, hammerspace vore Fandom: None (Kahudra) Other info: dragon/human, implied digestion Summary: If you jump in the hole, the dragon will eat you. It doesn't matter that she's small.

"Hey, kitty-cat. I know your kind doesn't like getting wet, but d'ya know if this place is any good for surfing?"

Dzamie looked up from his crossword puzzle. He wasn't sure what about a cheetah sitting next to a pit in the sand, quietly working on puzzles, made him a magnet for stuff like this - he was even in a swimsuit, himself! But he might as well get some entertainment from it, or at least give the surfer a chance to not be a jerk.

"This stretch? Good for swimming and floating, but for surfing, it's better past that pier over there," he said, pointing his pencil at the fishing pier a moderate walk away. "Oh, and watch out for the hole."

"Good kitty," the man condescended - Dzamie's ears flicked in annoyance - then looked over at the hole, only a couple feet deep and twice as wide. "And hey, just cuz I'm a whiz on water doesn't mean I can't handle the sand."

"It's less the hole itself, and more the dragon laying in it." He sat forward in his chair to look over the edge of the pit, and waved at Sylvia, ten pounds of golden dragoness curled up half-asleep at the bottom. She cracked open an eye and waved back.

Rather than simply leaving, the surfer crossed his arms with a smile. "Oh, sure, he looks real tough. If I twist my ankle falling in there, he could give me a pretty serious light scrape!"

"Dragoness, actually. And she eats people who go in the hole," Dzamie informed him, "so don't fall in unless you want to get eaten."

The man looked at him, then at Sylvia. "You're joking, right? She's tiny. The zoo has bigger geckos."

Dzamie shrugged and refocused on his crossword. "Every single person who's gone in there has gotten eaten."

"Yeah? And how many is that?"

"Haven't been keeping count. You could ask her."

The surfer scoffed. "Please, anything more than zero is clearly just an empty brag."

"Eight today," Sylvia chipped in. Despite her small voice, both guys heard her clearly.

"Eight it is," agreed Dzamie, "so yeah, watch your step or it'll be nine."

"ME watch my step?" the man laughed, "just look at her. She's the one who'll have to look out. In fact… look out!"

Dzamie set his puzzle on his lap again and watched, with idle amusement, the surfer taking a few steps back. With a confident smirk, the man ran and leapt up, over the edge of the hole. It was clear that he had no intention of clearing it, but rather aimed his landing directly at the little dragon laying at the bottom. Sylvia tracked him, too, keeping her head lined up with his sandy feet; moments before impact, she opened her tiny jaws.

The hapless braggart landed nearly a foot deeper than he intended: rather than landing on Sylvia's muzzle, he landed in it, his calves somehow fitting into her hungry mouth and sliding in until hitting some resistance. Unbalanced, he fell back; magic leapt to Dzamie's paws, and a faint, green bubble insulated his shouted curse from any onlookers. Still, the cheetah couldn't help but wince, as sand was never as soft to land on as it appeared. Of course, that would soon be the least of his troubles.

With a gulp loud enough that even Dzamie heard it outside the sandy hole, Sylvia dragged her catch in, knees vanishing without a trace into her slender, golden neck. The surfer-turned food soon recovered from his fall, but by the time he'd made sense of where he was, or rather, where the rest of his legs were, she was halfway up his thighs, soaking his swimwear with drool rather than water. He reached down to pry her jaws open and pull himself out, but that only got them stuck by his sides - another swallow, and his head dipped under the rim of the hole, and no amount of thrashing his torso back and forth earned him a single inch of freedom back.

Dzamie got up, set his puzzle down, stretched, and laid on his belly next to the hole, for a better view. Only the surfer's head and bare shoulders were visible outside of Sylvia's hungry little jaws, and from the look on his face, his earlier machismo had given way to mortal terror. Sylvia's throat pulled at him, and he tipped his head back as her snout crept up his neck. Dzamie smiled back at him. "Y'know," he said, "I've never tried surfing in her stomach. Maybe it's a good thing you didn't simply ignore the obvious hole in the ground."

Last words were wasted on wishing ill of the furry onlooker, and then Sylvia's jaws clacked together. A final swallow, then the dragoness opened back up to show off her maw, empty of prey; aside from the copious drool, there was little if any sign of the whole person who fell eight feet and counting into a two-foot-deep hole. After giving him the view, Sylvia grinned at her friend. "So, wanna help me hit double digits?"

Dzamie looked at the shadow of his chair. "It is getting sorta late…" He leapt to his feet and jerked his head towards the water. "Tell you what, I'm gonna go cool off a bit, and then you'll be my ride back to the house, okay?" With a snap of his fingers, the chair and crossword vanished.

"Alright! But if you don't hurry, who knows if some other poor fool will steal lucky number ten from you?" Dragon and cheetah exchanged smiles, and then he ran off to the water's edge while she reconstructed a sandy nest. Relaxation, entertainment, free meals… this was definitely an outing worth repeating.

#voretober #dragon #hammerspace dragon #writers on tumblr #writing #ocs #oc: dzamie #oc: sylvia #v/ore #v.ore #digestion #unwilling prey #human prey #dragon pred #hammerspace dragon pred #text #kahudra

[marley-manson]

I think writing fic is mostly making stuff up, even the most canon compliant fic is technically made up and therefore not canon in the traditional sense. And with that logic all fic is made up, and I release you to go wild in your fanfic writing dreams.

Yeah like I definitely agree, it's all just a case of degrees of separation from canon - unless you're writing for the show you're not writing truly canon fic, and even some of the show writers kinda fail at canon compliance lmao.

But tbf different people have different limits for how far they'll go and in what circumstances, and we all have our different preferences in terms of canon compliance (and our own different interpretations of canon to comply to, for that matter. Like straight Hawkeye is technically more canon compliant in terms of creator intent lol but you won't catch me reading anything where Hawkeye is straight.)

So yeah, everyone should definitely write whatever fic they want regardless of canon! But I do have my own personal limits in terms of what lines I want to cross, what's more flexible vs what I can't change without losing interest, even if it's in service to an otherwise interesting scenario.

Like to put my preferences another way, I would be more inclined to write magical AU dubcon featuring a love potion or smthn as a way to facilitate trainwreck Hawk/BJ/Peg, than I would, say, write Hawkeye agreeing to that triad because he's naive enough to think it's actually a good idea, or he loves BJ so much that he'll accept an unbalanced relationship, or he doesn't think he deserves better, etc. That's not My Hawkeye.

(Actually tbf the one non-AU way I think it could work is leaning into Hawkeye quitting his career post-canon in passive giving-up-on-everything depression, maybe his dad dying to make it even worse, and BJ innocently taking advantage, believing he's taking care of him and helping Hawkeye recover when really he's just emotionally manipulating him into becoming his second wife and giving up on his career forever.)

(Or maybe if Hawkeye lost his license...? Alcoholism, or being outed could do it easily. I feel like that could destroy him enough that he'd just cling to anything anyone offered. At least for a while.)

#the problem there however is that passive depressed hawkeye sounds boring as hell to write lol #also a little too dark at least for this particular scenario. i want dumb relationship mistakes that blow up more than misery ever after #text post #marley on mash #like what i really want is bj proposing the triad thing and hawk and peg both being on board and bj being unable to handle it #and i just don't see hawkeye not going in knowing it'll either be a bj has 2 faithful wives situation which i don't think he'd be ok with #or bj is lying about being able to handle hawkeye and peg either fucking each other or others on the side #unfortunately hawkeye is pretty emotionally intelligent #he's optimistic but not blind. i mean mmmmmmaybe bj just makes a very convincing case? maybe? hmmm #maybe that AND his dad just died or he broke up with someone so he wants to make a change and start fresh... #lmao ty for bringing this up again anon and making me think more about it #at the very least i now have more weird beejhawk ideas

[fromaliminalspace]

1-5, 14, 21 for the year end asks :3

hi, thank you so much for asking, really!! and apologizes in advance for such long answers, as you can see, i'm just being “a bit” indecisive, hopefully I won't bore you too much with it!

1. Song of the year?

(for real, why such a seemingly simple question turned out to be the most difficult one. it's impossible to choose just one!)

czxcohjkhv okay, the first to come to mind is "Stargazer" by Rainbow, so gonna go with it. the drum intro, the sheer onomatopoeia that Ronnie's vocal approach always is, the astonishing guitar solo that practically spoilers the plot by being so evocative as well, the fucking intensity that this song is overflowing with??? I can never be normal about it, just can't. about their “Catch the Rainbow” (live 1977 Munich version specifically) neither. most ethereal ballad ever (and nope, Blackmore's solos don't even ruin the “balladiness” of it, just add to the vibe).

out of Black Sabbath's songs, i'm very much torn between Children of the Sea, Die Young, The Sign of the Southern Cross, After All (The Dead), Time Machine, Sins of the Father. and out of Dio's own stuff — Like the Beat of a Heart, My Eyes, Evil on Queen Street, Evilution, As Long As It's Not About Love, Shame on the Night. hhhng they're all too good, how am I supposed to choose anything, even one per band.

when it comes to music that doesn't have anything to do with RJD (yeah, I have been listening to it this year. sometimes), I still can't get enough of Queensrÿche's “Take Hold of the Flame” (especially live in Tokyo 1984). *in loud whisper* but also “The Story of One Sky” by Dimash, “Until It Sleeps” by Metallica (whoops accidentally became obsessed with it years after first hearing it), “Incense and Myrrh” by Arch/Matheos, and “Between Two Worlds” by Uriah Heep. (can you tell how tricky it is to choose just one..?) and out of this actual year's releases (but tbh I haven't really been keeping up) most memorable was Liliac's “Carousel” or Metallica's “Screaming Suicide”.

and the most satisfying one to play on guitar is definitely “the Last in Line”, it's a literal dopamine feast for my brain for some reason.

2. Album of the year?

have admittedly been listening more to live performances than to studio recordings this year so it'd be easier to just list specific concerts but gonna try pick a latter one after all. actually I think the album i've most often listened to from start to finish is “Lock up the Wolves”, it just flows very nicely in its entirety. the second place would likely be the masterpiece that is “Heaven and Hell”. as for the album that's made me spin it in my head most intensely it's “Magica” bc it's a concept one but in the least straightforward manner possible.

3. Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

my most prominent discovery of the year was probably Fates Warning (and their more modern incarnation Arch/Matheos), I believe. or Jethro Tull (and nope, I legit haven't even heard about them until recently, what of it).

but there's also a musician who's basically defined this year for me and whose voice i've been listening to almost daily (and who probably needs no introduction at this point). I have by no means only started listening to him this year though (c'mon, Blind Guardian cover of “Don't Talk to Strangers” was literally one of the very first songs to get me into metal in the first place; and my most favorite Sabbath song, back when I didn't give a damn about different lineups and was just vibing to the songs I liked most regardless of their albums, was from the Dio era). the difference is that only last December I first heard a live recording of his voice and was overwhelmed by the unparalleled level of intensity in it. bc ultimately his magic is so much more than just his voice, it's the laser-pointed intention behind every single word and the multi-layered thought-provoking lyrics and the everything hiding between the lines and the neverending love and generosity. it's not even sth easily convertible into words so i'd probably better stop being insufferable about him right here and now but the point is that Ronnie has had such a huge impact on my life that goes beyond anything that I ever thought any musician or even just anyone who i've never technically gotten to meet would be capable of having. but this impact has in fact helped heal sth very deep down so just... yeah.

4. Movie of the year?

i'll probably go with “predestination” (2014). there's just sth very intricate in all the levels of meaning in that movie, and especially in the way the main character is queer and their queerness is used of all things as a metaphor for quite a lot of interesting stuff. ngl I do have some issues with this movie but honestly considering that the short story it's based on was written in the fucking 50s and was still focusing on it is impressive already despite its flaws (also I love how the movie extrapolated and expanded on the original premise).

the most rewatched movie this year though would definitely be the “dreamers never die” documentary, no contest here (not crying at the very end of it is a challenge I always fail tbh).

oh and a honorable mention to “Nimona”, really loved that one.

5. TV show of the year?

realized only now that I haven't really watched lots of tv shows this year, huh. I think the only thing I did watch was the second season of “shadow and bone” and that's it, even though there's lots of other stuff i've been meaning to catch up with.

14. Favorite book you read this year?

answered there!

21. What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year?

hmm i've got a new pin board, does it count?? it's bigger than my old one (and made from a different material, which turned out to be better) but i'm somehow already running out of space on it XD it was nice though to rearrange everything on it in a more systematic way rather than just slapping new bits of paper onto whenever I found a free spot (and to add Silvy's gifts there💜).

another new (like. literally last week new) thing is actually on my computer but it's sth i've been wishing for for literal years so it gets a mention anyway and it's an amp simulator. bc to be able to just plug my guitar in and build up the sound I want from scratch (well, not necessarily, there are tons of presets, it's just a very rare one that sounds well enough with solos imho) and have so much control over it, even over how much distortion I get depending on how hard I hit the strings? it's divine, i'm telling you. took me a while to figure out what exactly I need but damn, it's just so freaking awesome

#Liam whispers into the void #the void whispers back to Liam #not fandom #ask games #long post #again thank you for asking! and sorry again if i went overboard. which uh i'm afraid i really might've #in my defense unlike the most people i know you actually have a high chance of recognizing some of the songs and albums i mentioned here #not to mention that you're literally that only person i've ever talked to who also loves dio so my self-restraint might've slipped a bit #so yeah feel 1000% to just ignore me and my verbosity XD #really hoping the holiday season treats you nice and isn't too stressful!💜 #also re: what you said about time management strategies in your answer — i'm totally making a mental note to myself to check those out >.> #bc yeah didn't knw either

[misiwrites]

4KINGDOMS RE-READ ADVENTURE part 6

it's been a while. i got back in hopes of finding motivation to keep editing the next chapter to post

Chapter 23: rei being dramatic about max part 154349605 (is there any other content in this entire fic, well yes when it's takao and kai instead)

rei just sounds like he's massively in love with max. already. the story has barely started

wheezed at giancarlo attempting to explain to rei what an answering machine is and rei is just I DONT CARE

this part where giancarlo finds max collapsed and all wet sounds familiar. tfw it's supposed to be rare or "impossible" for max to soak himself and he's already done it twice in this story. i want to think i wrote this in as a prelude to the latter because

He had multiple types of magic to become untouchable by water, too. Unless he really was being threatened by something, there was no way he’d become incapable of using any all of a sudden.

yes indeed! isn't it so!

Chapter 24: heterosexuality takes max to his bed

this one just casually starts off with max describing himself as "a lump of raw meat on a butcher's bench" i-- yes that's your life in my fics. nice that you noticed

so this is where max sees rei with mao and realises oh shit that hurts. oh shit i think i like him. and then he's like "Please, Goddess, if it’s like this, I don’t want it" HAHA brutal. i like it. this chapter had several okay-sounding lines? looks like the curse of the previous batch that i read has been lifted because these aren't as bad. i did some minor editing for more dramatic effect tho lol

Chapter 25: takao finds out that kai, who doesn't know what friends are, has made a friend

i keep repeating takao talking about "cotton candy clouds" and i think it's not intentional but it makes it sound like he's constantly thinking about candy. let's say it's the kind of deal where if you repeat something enough (by accident) it becomes a motif

so takao has a dream about seiryuu that feels like it's trying to tell him something… hmm now what could that be. seiryuu is just a big ass snek floating on the sky in the dream.

gramps casually announces that takao and kai will do a fencing match together next week. it's pretty funny really how ryuunosuke in this story is somehow a mentor figure to both rei and kai. in very different ways but still

i feel like this sums up takao and kai's relationship:

I wanted to imagine that we’d spent a fairly good first week together, even if I hadn't exactly had a single decent conversation with Kai yet.

there's a bit about ralf finding out that takao's been talking to souichirou and takao is like yeah sorry! i won't lie to you again. [proceeds to constantly lie to him throughout the story] so clearly that didn't work out

Chapter 26: max lies in bed. that's it that's the chapter

it's the gay reimax stuff. again. i'll just say i like this passage:

I closed my eyes and lowered my head to place a cheek against my arm, listening to him talk without actually listening to a single word. His voice was like a brook, a delicate spring that I could have listened softly trickle down to my ear for hours on end. And then I thought of all the words said in his voice that would never be meant for me.

the max introspection really ramps up. his thoughts flow really well here, he's so aware of being a jealous little shit when really he's supposed to be happy that rei's got mao.

then judy comes over to his bed like i know you're sick and all but get a grip son. you're cringe

Chapter 27: did i already mention this fic is heavier on the reimax than i maybe realised?

i can't believe the chapter numbers are briefly almost even here. then max chapters just POOF! stop being a thing and he falls behind

anyway so rei is to olivier like. man i'm so fucking bored here that i may kill myself if you don't let me watch movies or whatever. and olivier says: no

actually. this just made me laugh out loud:

Olivier’s response was a nonchalant “no” and that I should either hone my calligraphy skills or learn to paint if I was so bored[…]

"hmm, no! but have you considered: art✨"

AS DID THIS:

I now felt so sick from worry that the green tea I’d had earlier was making its way back up my throat. I could only place my hopes on Giancarlo to stop Max from doing anything stupid.

Giancarlo did not stop Max from doing something stupid.

sooo max is a stupid gay idiot and comes to rei's place sick just to give him a DVD player. cute little detail also that rei charges all the devices with his magic (without realising it)

ah my favourite. when max realises that brushes in the west are human-sized

mao mentions the idea that she'd want to host a ball! ball mentioned! the BALL HAS BEEN DROPPED

max is embarrassed about feeling disgusted by having seen rei and mao together. rei is embarrassed about feeling disgusted by mao hinting at their wedding. they are a delightful disaster! there was exactly one takao chapter in here i'm sorry. for any readers out there. because someone evidently has read this? why

#i read my own fic and die while at it #4kingdoms stuff

[feran-daunhill]

Been thinking a lot about my art, or lack thereof.

I've been looking at results and not the process.

From now on the goal is not to make it as close to perfect as I can but to force myself to accept the imperfections.

As it stands, my big problem is this, I never finish anything because it's never good enough.

I never want to really start anything with more than the intention to doodle because every time I force myself to follow through and finish it. Well, if I ink things by hand I inevitably mess up (because I suck) and am unhappy with the results. If I do things digitally I have access to an undo button and my ADHD hyper focus means that I can and will spend hours redrawing every single line, trying to make it "perfect" (not actually perfect). The result is that by the time I am done with the drawing I am miserable and burnt out. When I consider the idea of starting anything else I have no enthusiasm at all, because why bother starting if you know you aren't going to finish and why try finish something if it's just making you miserable.

This is the issue I need to fix first. Not my crap understanding of line weight, or ability to draw clothes, or everything else that I want to make better. First I just need to find a way to make finished works of art that doesn't make me miserable.

With that in mind and Lacking any confidence I thought, hey I'll just use one of the poses I made on magic poser.

Contrary to my idea of keeping it simple I chose to do this drawing. Using a program like magic poser is great, for references.

But it also can be a problem. It's very easy to fall into the trap of spending hours and hours getting everything juuuuuust right. So despite that fact I am happy with how it turned out, unfortunately this one still counts as a failure. Because yes I still feel into the old habit of fiddling with every little thing for much longer than I had planned. Even intentionally ignoring line weight, hey it looks great in Siamès and Blue Turtles stuff why the heck not, it still took me a painfully long time. Planning on coloring this with my Ohuhu Markers during Emerald City Comic Con.

[fantasyfantasygames]

The Unfurling Stars

The Unfurling Stars, J. Rindler, 2021

There's a game called "Fall of Magic" that was Kickstarted back in 2015. It's an award-winner for multiple reasons, but its most distinctive feature is the five-and-a-half-foot-long double-sided hand-screen-printed cloth scroll map that you unroll as you play. It focuses on a single story (as you might guess, magic is disappearing) and is very mechanically light. The Unfurling Stars keeps the GMless play and the map conceit, but switches to sci-fi exploration and drops the inherent story aspect, to varying results.

Let's talk about the game's failings first. The move from a single story to a sandbox makes the early game a bit uneven. You might go in a lucky direction and stumble across one of the six core plots, or you might end up being commodity traders for entirely too long. And having six plots also means that each one has less meat on its bones.

The rules are a bit too bare-bones for my tastes. They're concise in a way that actually discourages modding, which would be impressive if it weren't so unhelpful. There are a dozen stats, intended to cover the whole set of human abilities. Specialties in the stats (e.g. Manual Dexterity: Piloting x3) take the place of skills. Attacks and mishaps damage stats, so there's a death spiral. Every group gets the same starting ship, and customization happens through missions you unlock during the core plots.

Now for the good stuff: the physical presentation. The game comes packed in an octagonal box about a foot wide and five inches tall. It's heavy. Open the box and you'll find an intricately folded map made of the same polymer you'll find used for banknotes in countries where the money actually looks cool. When completely unfolded the map is a intricate, star-filled black snowflake over three meters wide. The actual art on the map is mostly star photos from the Hubble and a circle-and-line node map. It's nothing stunning, but it gets the job done and doesn't get in the way.

The map unfolds in an origami-like fashion to reveal new star systems. It has transparent windows that are wormholes. If you can re-fold the map along the existing fold lines to put that window where you want to go, bang - shortcut. It uses thumbnail-sized holographs and metallic ink for key locales. It uses microprinting (which you can read with the included lens). It hides information in fluorescent ink (pen-sized UV light included). It nicely has little curved arrows to show you where you can re-fold it.

Each storyline is about 8-10 sessions long, and you're unlikely to unfold the whole map in one storyline. The intent is for you to start over from the beginning and explore an "alternate branch" in which you made different choices and found a different storyline. Your group could probably stack one storyline after another, though having the ship from the end of one story at the beginning of another might be kind of a game-breaker.

I'd probably take Unfurling Stars apart and use its pieces as a hex-crawl setting, but I do wish I could go through the replay process. Extra-long campaigns are kind of my thing.

For those who didn't get in on the original crowdfunding, there's apparently a PDF copy coming that will use visibility layers to achieve many of the same results.

#rpg #indie ttrpg #imaginary #ttrpg #escape velocity nova #don't ask me how the folding actually works i don't figure these things out beforehand

[marshmallowloves]

After several days of complaining about how I could not think of stuff for my ship with Yuga I THINK I've finally got something and now I'm going to make it your guys' problem c:

However I am MERCIFUL so I will put it under a cut, because good LORD it's very long fkdhg.

TL;DR I guess: small fairy girl and magic art man go from enemies -> "I'll tolerate you" -> friends -> enemies again -> friends -> lovers. Ravio is there.

+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

So I actually DO have a vaguely-outlined story in some old docs on my laptop - I mostly pulled from that, but I've tried to fix it a little to line up with the story of ALBW.

It starts like this...

Old texts tell of a certain man in Hyrule's history - specifically during the Era of Time - named Ammond. He was a devious and corrupt Hylian who led Princess Zelda's army. Obsessed with power, he sought to break Ganondorf free from the Sacred Realm, then steal the Triforce of Power from him in his weakened state. He intended to do this by eliminating the sages, thus breaking the seal. But his position and Hyrule's relation with other races made it difficult to target anyone without suspicion... Except for the elusive Kokiri.

Ammond's plan was to draw out the Sage of the Forest by eliminating the Kokiri. He was clever, and he and his men attacked many Kokiri villages right under the Princess's nose. During these attacks, many Kokiri were stolen and kept as living trophies, being prized for their eternal youth and beauty.

As the attacks continued, Ammond's lust for power began to consume him and led to careless mistakes, which eventually got him caught before his plan could take off. His fate remains unknown to this day, and the remaining Kokiri sunk deeper into hiding until they became little more than a myth.

Fast forward many, many years later. A Kokiri named Koci has only heard whispers and rumors of Ammond, but decides that she wants to see the world outside of her home in the forest without fear. She sets off to explore Hyrule, her fairy Rina by her side and twin maces at her back.

After a while of traveling, however, she starts to have a recurring nightmare about a corrupt Hylian keeping her captive. She fears that those rumors are actually true, and that these dreams are a vision of what may come, or even one of the past. She's about to play it safe and go back home...when suddenly she's confronted by a strange sorcerer, who immediately rejoices upon seeing her - how long he's searched for one of the elusive Kokiri, and now he can finally capture her eternal beauty!

Koci assumes by his words that this is Ammond, and that her nightmare is coming true. She doesn't believe the man when he introduces himself as Yuga, and attacks him while slinging accusations of his "real" identity. They get into a fight, and somehow she manages to overpower the sorcerer... Her weapon at his throat, he insists once more that he's not the man she thinks he is, and he makes her a deal: spare his life, and he'll personally help her find the REAL Ammond - dead or alive - and make sure he never comes back.

She's still very skeptical about his identity, so he tries to ease her doubt further. This Ammond was caught because his hunger for power clouded his judgment and cunning - so then why is Yuga lying beneath Koci right now, bargaining and reasoning with her instead of just overpowering one little Kokiri?

There's truth to his words, and if nothing else, Koci saw what he could do in battle - his unique and powerful magic would definitely be helpful in finding and sealing Ammond. She accepts his offer, and the two of them begin the search.

Of course, all of this is only an act for Yuga to gain Koci's trust, so that he eventually can capture her beauty in one of his prized portraits. It will look so lovely among the paintings of the sage's descendants, which he gathers behind Koci's back in the meantime to pursue his own goal of resurrecting Ganon.

At one point, Yuga asks Koci what Ammond's intentions were by eliminating the Kokiri. At first she simply says it was a wicked reason, but doesn't elaborate as it's too painful right now. The question gets brought up again later, and she's ready to explain, but something interrupts them. For a while, it's kind of like this - when she's just about to tell, something stops her and leaves Yuga in the dark.

By the time Yuga has gathered all the sage descendants, he and Koci - to both of their surprises - have genuinely become rather close, despite their initial motives. Yuga is still going to revive Ganon, but now with the added intention of using their combined power to find and eliminate Ammond, and he wants Koci by his side when it happens. He's moved by her passion for retribution against this man - in fact, that's all he really sees. He assumes that, like himself, no measure is too extreme for her as long as she achieves her goal, so surely she'll be delighted when he shows her what he's been doing.

He tells Koci that he knows where their search will truly take off - Lorule Castle. He brings her there, and the two are met by Link. Yuga explains to Koci that he's met this little worm many times before - in fact, he's been a thorn in his side this whole time, always trying to impede their search for Ammond - but at least Yuga can kill two birds with one stone here.

Koci watches in horror as Ganon is risen, and Yuga begins to merge with the Demon King, excitedly offering her to join him. With Ganon's power, they'll be an unstoppable force! Legions will bow before their immeasurable strength! And Ammond will be nothing but dust when they're through with him!

The process is drawn out longer than in the game - enough for Koci to voice how utterly betrayed she feels. She reveals to him that this is exactly what Ammond tried to do, the whole reason for his wicked acts against the Kokiri. Yuga is no better than he was, and she was a fool to think otherwise - just like Yuga was a fool to think she's as clouded by hatred as he is. He tries to persuade her, saying this is her best shot at finding Ammond, but she says that she would rather find and kill that man with her own hands than be helped by a traitor.

Yuga barely has a second to register this with a flash of remorse, before the merging completes and his mind is shared with Ganon's, eliminating any semblance of empathy and replacing it with pure, raw power and pride. This is when Princess Hilda steps in and holds the beast, sending away Link and Koci with her magic.

While Link ends up in a different area of Lorule, Koci is thrown back to Hyrule - right in front of Link's house, as a matter of fact...or at this point, Ravio's shop. The merchant finds her passed out at the door and brings her in, and when she wakes up, she explains everything that happened - that a Lorulean sorcerer promised to help her track down a monstrous man, but betrayed her and resurrected the Demon King, and now she has two threats to worry about.

What a coincidence, Ravio is also having trouble with this Yuga guy, and is enlisting the aid of the brave Mr. Hero Link to stop him. Maybe Koci also wants to help? Strength in numbers after all! Ravio offers his services in exchange, and Koci eagerly accepts.

Over time she becomes good friends and allies with Ravio too. They share stories of their homes and friends, Koci learns a little more about the world outside the forest, helps him out with his shop sometimes, all kinds of nice stuff. When Link eventually returns, they're introduced, and decide to help each other as well. They all currently share a common goal - to stop the Demon King.

Koci travels with Link after that, and they follow the rest of the game's plot. At the end, the Demon King is defeated and splits apart - Ganon is no more, but Yuga is left behind, broken and battered.

Koci's stupid, dumb idiot heart gets the best of her, and she requests that Yuga be spared, much to the shock of everyone there. As a Kokiri, she's extremely in tune with emotion, and she could sense those last moments Yuga had as himself - where he felt the pang of remorse for losing his one genuine companion. She knows a different man is in there, and she wants that man to come back.

There's definitely some reluctance, but everyone saw the lengths she went to in order to help Link and save both kingdoms... So Koci is given her wish, and allowed to stay in Hyrule Castle, bringing Yuga back with her. Zelda understands Koci's sentiment, but doesn't quite trust it (no surprise there, given all that happened), so the castle is the safest place to keep him, as it's heavily guarded and the entire ordeal has left him without his magic for the time being.

Thus begins what's essentially the Redemption Arc - Yuga proves his regret and loyalty over time, and this time, his true goal is to help her find and eliminate Ammond - for REAL this time.

...And of course, in the process, they both come to terms with their very weird romantic feelings for one another but I uh. haven't really thought about that part as thoroughly as this part gkshfj

#I like what I have for them c: #my writing #Koci #Yuga #Stained Glass #self insert #self ship #self shipping #a link between worlds #albw #legend of zelda #loz

[h-worksrambles]

But Frontiers is not more meta than the meta era (colors up until forces), it doesn't rely on nostalgia and lol self aware humor.

…I’m not sure I agree on that.

Frontiers is loaded with nostalgic homages. It references the previous game’s incredibly frequently. It makes full on meta commentary about how the characters have been portrayed in past games. It’s even got its own share of self aware humour from Sonic’s banter with Sage. And like, how meta was the so-called ‘meta era’ anyway? Colours has like two lines where Sonic turns to the audience and breaks the fourth wall. Lost World doesn’t do it at all. Generations arguably has the most, and like of course the anniversary game where the characters meet their past selves is gonna make jokes about the series or about character quirks and be filled with nostalgia throughout all the time travel stuff. I’d be more surprised if it didn’t. Heck usually I see Generations’ story criticised for not doing more with the premise. Not going far enough on the fanservice. Forces has the whole ‘it’s been Generations since I saw you’ and that’s about it. Now, the series’ social media presence is a different matter. Sonic’s official Twitter account was incredibly meta, self aware and had a lot of series’ homages and in jokes. Sonic Boom is loaded with meta humour. But the games? Not so much. Frontiers has meta elements but it doesn’t rely on them. Neither did the earlier games.

Also keep in mind. I’m not saying ‘meta’ is inherently good or bad. I’m saying describing the 2010 games as the ‘meta era’ just isn’t a very accurate label of why those games were controversial. Were they criticised for being too cartoony and comedic? Or for the jokes just not being funny? Or the stories not being as entertainingly over the top and action packed as previous ones? Absolutely. But their humour was never really that meta. The series was very prone to nostalgia pandering, yes. But let’s be real. Sonic has been prone to nostalgia pandering since at least Sonic Heroes if not even earlier. It constantly references and homages itself across the different games. That didn’t magically start with Colours (which actually has very little in the way of nostalgic references) and it didn’t end with Forces because it’s all over Frontiers too. Now I actually agree that the fan-service needs to chill the heck out. But that’s not exclusive to the later games.

My point is honestly just a terminology thing. It’s not me saying ‘you can’t criticise the more comedy driven Sonic games’ because these would be stupid of me. Rather I just think calling the 2010s ‘the meta era’ just isn’t very accurate. Me saying that Frontiers is more meta than past games is not be saying it’s good or bad. But I do hope it encourages the discussion around earlier games to be a bit more nuanced rather than throwing round a label that was never all that accurate to begin with.

Also, I’m gonna assume this ask was made in good faith desire for clarification but I’m not sure I care for your tone and I’m really not looking to get dragged into arguments about Sonic fandom. I’ve seen enough of that elsewhere. I’m happy to clarify points but if your intention is to start an argument like I’ve seen this fandom do far too often on this point, I’ll have to respectfully ask you to let the matter drop.

#sonic frontiers #sonic colours #sonic generations #sonic forces #sonic the hedgehog

[an-incoherent-mess]

There is something so deeply frustrating about watching people on the internet try to cancel good complex media alongside actual bigoted trash, because they lack the ability critically think and understand satire .

They criticize a piece of media for not explicitly saying something is good or bad. Even though anybody with morals can tell what the author intended you to take away. It's just like any amount of morally dubiousness and people lose their mind.

(just me ranting in the tags pls ignore)

#you are so completely detached from the point its not funny #why the fuck are you trying to put this #non-american media into your American centric worldview! #I'm on the #there are no good or bad people train #and maybe I'm wrong #I've never taken a philosophy class or anything #it's totally chill to like cancel people who are pedaling homophobic racist xenophobic sexist bullshit #but don't try to cancel media just because its let's characters go outside the balance of hero and villain #I feel like I see this with Americans trying to cancel non-american shows a lot of time #they do this to old queer media too #like stuff that was made with good intentions but doesn't magically line up to the modern queer scene #I've seen it happen to theatre and comedy and anime a lot #it's been a long time since I've read Huckleberry Finn but I think it falls into this too #also like I'm not Jewish but I've seen media depicting Anti-Israel beliefs been accused of being anti-semitic #even when the opinions expressed clearly don't equate the state of Israel to all Jews. #I'm not super up on all of this so like feel free to tell me I'm wrong #but just like I think people take things too far too quickly a lot of the time without asking questions or considering sources

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ IT'S NOT JUST A TATTOO ❜

✨ REQUEST BY ANON: Hiiiiiiiii! Can I get a HC on Happy telling his girl he loves her, wants her to be his OL and get his crow? Pleeeease.

✨ REQUEST BY @ocetevasgirl: Hola cielo! Can I request "Don't look at me like that" with Happy please? 💕☺️

Words: about 1.2k

❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place or something that makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted ❤

❚❙ GIF credits: to the author.

❚❙ HAPPY LOWMAN MASTERLIST.

❚❙ MASTERLIST.

❚❙ JOIN MY TAG LIST.

There's something that has grown inside him, like a seed planted in the ground, the first time you kissed him. You were flirting with Happy since the very first moment you met him. And even if he thought it was just for fun, the alcohol helped to show him you were serious.

He doesn't hide his acts anymore.

It's been three months since you two started to play.

Sex is good. Sex is pretty good. Your bodies look like they were made for each other. You understand the other to perfection. Every move is made in sync. He really loves the bite you have with him for making him moan, due he's too low. But you always get it.

He wasn't used to touching you, holding hands, or kissing you in front of his brothers. It has happened in two or three situations, very rarely, very randomly. And you have noticed that for two weeks, more or less: he doesn't hide his acts anymore.

Happy likes to watch you fixing some bikes at Teller-Morrows. He likes the way your hand moves, bolting, painting a hood, checking the pressure (...). Your fingers dance all around with delicate and accurate touches. He could be by your side for hours enraptured on the tasks your hands attend to.

Whenever he loses control or his calm, he goes to find you wherever you are. As soon as you're close enough, Happy sinks his nose in one side of your neck. Takes a deep, deep, deep long breath and presses his lips over your throbbing carotid artery. Your heart beating and pumping brings back his cool. Your fingers gently and slowly caressing the back of his head helps too.

He has been needing to have his hands on you the whole time. At least, one. On your lower back, around your forearm, gripping your wrist, on your nape, on your thighs (...). Anywhere is valid to him. It's not a way to mark his territory, but to make you feel that he is there, that you don't need protection but he protects you, that he likes your tact. 

And it's funny how he is like your personal bartender in SOA parties. You want a glass of whisky, rum, gin? He brings you a bottle of your favorite one. Your beer is almost empty? He finds the coolest in the fridge for you. Are you hungry? He prepares you a sandwich, in the clubhouse kitchen. Sometimes, the guys tease him about it, but he doesn't care anymore. Happy only wants to make you feel comfortable, attended, loved. Happy.

He has never danced in his life, but when Mayans come to Charming and play latin music, it's impossible for him to not try to dance with you; watching you provoking him with the moves of your hips swinging and that shameless smile on your lips that only he owns. 

Marcus has taught him some basic moves? Marcus has taught him some basic moves.

He already loves you. He loves every single thing about you. The way you have to imitate his favorite cartoons' voices. The way you have to understand and read his body when there are no words from him. The way you take care of his wounds, without asking what happened, who he has killed. The way your lips feel around all his length, tightly and warmly closed, sucking out the air of his lungs.

He wants to tell you about his feelings. But he doesn't know how to do it. Happy feels insecure that you're not in his orbit, that you do it only because sex is from another dimension. He has asked Chibs because Tig would simply advise him about fucking the hell out of you against a wall and keep doing it until you get tired of his dick. Chibs has told him to be sincere, to use the confidence between the two of you, and ask you about what you want.

But when he comes to you, simply saying “what 'you want from me”, he scares the shit out of you. This time, you can't read in his eyes what is happening within his head. You can't decipher his intentions. Is he going to finish whatever you have? His rough, dry voice hasn't helped either.

“What 'you want from me?” Asking you again, as if you were stupid, only makes you feel worst. Your heart is racing, your throat is closed. You have been working hard to show him that you don't want him for a couple of night-stands; that you really understand him, that you love him, that you want to spend your whole life enjoying his silence. And after all, it seems like it's the end. 

“I… want you”. Probably, your words aren't enough for him, watching how he tilts his head just like a confused puppy would do. Something clicks in his head, connecting the two neurons left that aren't damaged for his assassin personality. 

“I want you to be my Old Lady”. 

Then, your heart stops.

“I love you”.

Then, your heart jumps back to life.

Being an Old Lady doesn't mean only that you're the girl of. It means that you're part of SAMCRO, part of the family. That you have to defend the club with your life, after defending your man. It means being loyal as fuck. 

But it also, and most importantly, it means to wake up with his arms around you and going to sleep together every night he's in Charming, drunk or sober. It means furtive kisses whenever and wherever. It means being loved by the loveliest and mortal man on earth. Because yes, he is both things. Happy can't help but spend his time covering you with all kinds of caresses. Happy can't help but spend his time whispering to you that he can't imagine a life without you, that he loves your laugh, that he loves the way your fingers trace every tattoo in his body.

Talking about tattoos… “I want you to get my crow”.

“Then, I want you to tattoo it. What? Don't look at me like that… I know you can do it”.

He can't wait to come back to his house.

He feels fucking powerful retiring the tracing paper from your forearm. The crow is big. The crow is visible. The crow is his.

Happy feels fucking powerful delineating every black line on your skin, before coloring it with the same ink. As your eyes are on his extra concentrated face, your free hand is rested over his right thigh.

It's a piece of art.

You love it.

You love him.

After covering it with cling film to not stain the sheets, when it starts to expulse the excess of ink, Happy kisses it. Happy kisses every single damn inch of it, feeling your other hand caressing the back of his head.

Putting away all the stuff, he urges you to sit on his lap. Facing him. Your legs spread at both sides of the chair. His lips roaming your neck with soft bites, with some grunts when your hips rock slowly over the bulge under his sweatpants. His lips find yours. His tongue finds yours. Your nails gently scratch his bare chest, redrawing invisibly the serpent in it.

For the first time, he doesn't fuck you. He makes you love. He's careful, he doesn't move fast. He covers all your body with magical and sweets caresses. He makes sure that you enjoy them. Happy makes sure that you feel the love he feels for you, in every touch, in every moan he utters, in every move he does.

#lemme know what you think in a comment! ✨ #sons of anarchy x reader #sons of anarchy imagine #sons of anarchy #happy lowman x reader #happy lowman imagine #happy lowman

[purplerose244]

The Legacy in Tales of Arcadia (analysis post-Wizards)

SO SPOILER ALERT!!!

Since my brain has been absolutely impossible to distract from anything that doesn't involve Wizards (and besides my slight fault at rewatching my new punk baby Douxie a "few" more times 😛🤘 WIZARDS WAS REALLY GOOD OKAY), I'd like to talk about the importance of this moment in preparation of the upcoming movie, that will apparently put an end to everything.

This line I think is particularly important, not only regarding the world of magic, but all the creatures inside this franchise, and even the legacy connected to Camelot and the Arthurian heroes. It is the end of an era, and the start of a new one, with new champions.

Starting from Camelot, we can call upon us the main characters. Which are definitely Arthur, Morgana, Merlin and Lancelot. For the sake of the moment I won't include Galahad, although I do like him 💕💕💕

So we know Arthur is no more, and Excalibur has now a vacant place to fill as the weilder of the enchanted sword. And while I do hope poor Jim will take at least a bit of vacation after all the stuff that had happened to him (this best boy deserves to be happy ASAP 😭), that one last look at the sword makes me wonder. Only the worthy can weild it, who could be more worth it than Jim Lake Jr? And I think he didn't manage to take it only because he needs to readjust himself and identify who he is again. After being a human trollhunter, a half troll trollhunter and a full beast, only to go back to be nothing but Jim, I think it will take a while for him to find himself again. But I am confident that he might take on the legacy of Arthur.

As for Morgana, Claire even unwillingly at first learned from her about shadowmancy and dark magic. They had a very conflicting relationship from the start, even after knowing more about her past. But now that Morgana is gone, I think more than ever Claire is ready to go on and show her magic, AND her own magic. And I do think meeting the real Pale Lady made her revaluate her, and herself.

Lance's part was pretty much a funny bit, but I am happy at least Steve managed to learn something from him (besides his probable bisexuality... meh, not like we didn't know that already 😂). The importance I think lies on the fact that Lancelot asked him personally to use his emblem, to bring it forward. Maybe Steve could have been a more useful character, but nonetheless he acquired a bit of experience as well. He is learning to be somebody.

As for Merlin, I think it's pretty evident whom I'm gonna be talking about. And it is pretty amazing that someone like Merlin, the great jerk Merlin who thinks of people as pawns and did so many terrible things, managed to open up and show his softer side with a kid he found in an alley tricking people. And the way he left, like he was happy of the path Douxie has chosen, like he finally realized his way maybe wasn't as solid as he thought, hit me a lot. Douxie will bring forward the legacy of Merlin, but only at his conditions and following his personal plan. To be a better wizard, one that the old man could never be (I LOVE THIS PUNK KID SO MUCH 😭😭😭)

With all these heritages distributed, I do feel the continuity of the show coming along. But it's not only about the past after all, or at least not only Camelot. It's about all the old protectors.

The amulet is gone, apparently there will be no more trollhunters. The succession of the hero that had protected humans and trolls for generation has finally stopped. So what of the trolls? Will they fight for themselves? Will they manage without someone to protect them? Or they will find someone else instead? Is it really the end of a legend?

The King and Queen of Akiridion-5 are gone. And yes there is a new queen now, but Aja said it herself that she was going to find another name for herself. Something new, fitting of her free spirit. In any case, Coranda and Fialkov's empire is over, and considering all the mistakes made by them in the past, between Varvatos' family and the planet Voltar, who knows if it's really a bad thing. There is a new hope raising, new possibilities. But also new danger coming with a new chapter of the faraway planet.

Merlin is gone. The greatest wizard of all time, the one that created the amulet, that banished Morgana (well not really in Wizards but huh 😅), that had mastery over all magic, is no more. And with him Morgana. The Pale Lady, the Eldritch Queen, the Shadow Minstress and all her names. Magic is starting to fade, with Douxie and Nari holding onto their light, Claire with shadows, and the Arcane Order with their evil intent. There is no one superior to save them now. It is all in their hands.

I think this is a pure moment of absolute revolution for the world of TOA, everything is changing and I think there is no better situation to pull out the movie coming next year. I really think the battlefield is ready to be filled with epicness 🤩🤩🤩

With the hope that Toby and Krel will get a more significant role (GIVE ME MY TECH BOY 💙💙💙), I'm definitely looking forward to the future 👌

#i'm rewatching already #douxie is so amazing #punk boy #😛🤘 #wizards spoilers #wizards: tales of arcadia #toa wizards #wizards #tales of arcadia #toa #toa spoilers #toa trollhunters #trollhunters #toa 3below #toa 3 below #3below #3 below #jim lake jr #claire nunez #merlin #morgana #hisirdoux #toa douxie #douxie #steve palchuk #spoilers

[fatalism-and-villainy]

zhou zishu for the character ask meme?

Thank you for enabling me to talk about fandoms you're not in!

one aspect about them i love

He kills children. (No, really, this was the thing that made me straight-up love him when i read Qi Ye. Sometimes I'll see people say "oh, wow, he's so problematic... I guess I can love him anyway though" whereas I'm like "all these things are good actually.")

More seriously, he's so opaque about everything. He is repressing and compartmentalizing all over the place, and is so used to hiding his true feelings and intentions for court intrigue and espionage purposes that those things become obscured even to himself. (There's a part in TYK where he casually brings up Jiuxiao's name for the first time since his death, and it's noted that this is a big deal for him, and then it says something like "it wasn't a big deal, it was just that part of him was hollow on the inside" like buddy?? you okay there???) Like, he's very prickly, and a lot of his warmer feelings towards people come out through his actions and reactions, which makes him very fun to read about. (Like that scene where he's trying to act all nonchalant about Wen Kexing's sexual exploits while it's clear he's extremely flustered by the topic of conversation.)

But he also has such a playful side! He's very cool and controlled and measured throughout Qi Ye, but he is a Gremlin at heart and seeing him start to joke around and enjoying being a shit-stirrer is one of the joys of reading Faraway Wanderers.

one aspect i wish more people understood about them

*gestures upward at "he killed children"* Like I feel like I keep harping on the stuff that happens in Qi Ye, but he very much did arrange for a kid to be raped and murdered for politicking purposes. I think a lot of characterizations of him that feel jarring to me are based on his Word of Honor characterization, and fair enough, I can't fault people for wanting to work off the show if that's their preferred (or only) canon, and even this fic of mine is borrowing some elements of that version of canon, but. Sometimes I'll see people characterize him in relation to morality or specifically sexual violence/exploitation in ways that just... do not line up with what he's actually done.

Also, this is relevant to Wen Kexing as well (who I also have to answer an ask for), but I'll put it here - he's actually pretty similar to Wen Kexing in personality and morals. Again, I think the show allows more room to interpret them as having contrasting personalities, but one thing I love about their book dynamic and characterizations is how much it's impressed upon the reader that they are very similar, and process the world very similarly, and this is why they have such an intuitive understanding of each other.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character

This doesn't work if one takes them as having a more itinerant lifestyle post-canon, but - given Zhou Zishu's approach to the people close to him being "irritation and standoffishness --> reluctant affection, I think he should adopt strays. Let him have cats and dogs, and complain about how much work they are while secretly growing very attached to them. It just makes me happy.

Also, given the fact that he invented the nails, I want to see him come up with other magic inventions in his free time. He just likes tinkering. It's enrichment.

one character i love seeing them interact with

Wen Kexing is a given, of course, and really does bring out some of his most delightful qualities (the bantering and the little games they play!), but I'll put Beiyuan here as well. Just weird gay friends. Also Liang Jiuxiao, because of the codependency and tragedy of it all.

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more

I'm always hungry for more interactions between him and Jiuxiao, haha. I suppose I'm also curious about the backstory of how he met Helian Yi, as well.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character

Ah, this one I seem to struggle with each time. Okay, I'm inspired by the show's exchange between Wen Kexing and Gu Xiang about playing cards (and the entire concept of scary crime organization leaders playing cards), so I'm going to say that it was Jiuxiao's wont to regularly cajole him into playing cards with him (sometimes with alcohol involved). Zhou Zishu put up a fuss about being busy but always indulged him.

#uhhh mentions of csa under the cut #because of you know. That Thing in qi ye #pyr0clast #zhou zishu #tyk talk #qi ye talk #awkwardly memes #replies

[tinyboxxtink]

"Clueless" *Part 3*

Okay so my dog ended up being totally fine, and luckily I had most of this written beforehand. <3

PS- REALLY shouldn't have watched the actual movie while writing this...lulz. Count how many actual lines from the movie you catch.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

Tag List:

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@wanniiieeee

@milkshqke

@gibbs274

@aprildecker-blog

@objection-argumentative

@word-scribbless

@stars-in-the-skies-world

-----

He drove back up the Beach House, but you and Ariel had abandoned it for a loft in the city, no forwarding address. He asked himself why he was putting so much effort just to get back in contact with you. He couldn’t explain it, it was like something against logic.

He dialed Ariel’s number.

IGNORE.

Redial.

IGNORE.

Text: “Answer your phone!!!”

Redial.

“What do you want?”

“I want to talk to Y/N,”

“Well she doesn't want to talk to you,”

“What did you tell her, Ariel?”

“The truth,”

“I don’t...I can’t even begin to imagine what that means in your language,”

“Oh whatever Raf, what does it matter what I told her? She’s MY friend, not yours!”

“You don’t OWN her Ariel,”

“Don’t I?” She smirked. “I feed her, I clothe her, I give her a roof to sleep under. I even gave her a cute necklace with her name on it, like a collar,” she smirked.

"You're evil," he sneered.

“I’m a saint,” She scoffed. “Do you know where that girl would be without me? Do you know the years it would take in a therapist's office to heal the emotional trauma I so selflessly saved her from? Her life will be enriched and better because of me, how many girls can say that about you?"

“Oh right, like helping her hasn’t served you any purpose?”

“What purpose could it possibly have?”

“Please, if I ever saw you do anything less than 90% selfish I’d die of shock,”

“Oh that would be reason enough for me,”

“Look, I get it. You've never had a mother so you're treating her like your personal Barbie doll,"

“And what, you wanna be her Prince Ken? Or, lawyer Ken,”

“She’s NOT a Barbie doll!”

“You’re right, she’s not. So I’m not going to let you play with her emotions,”

“What does that even mean? For fuck’s sake Ariel, I just want to be her mentor,”

“Really?” Rafael could hear her rolling her eyes through the phone. “You’re trying THIS hard to mentor some girl you met less than 24 hours ago? REALLY,” She chuckled.

“I may not be ‘Harvard’ smart BRO, but I’m not stupid. I know when a guy has let’s say, less than moral intentions with a girl,”

“It’s not like that,” He growled. “She’s a sweet girl, Ariel. And I’m not going to let you try and change her into your clone,”

“Wha--my clone? Please, Raf she could NEVER reach my level. Believe me, I’ve tried for four years. She’s a good sidekick,”

“This isn’t over,”

“Isn’t it? You have ZERO idea where we are,”

“Please, there’s maybe 5 places in Manhattan you’ll go, and they’re all on the Upper East Side. It’s not hard,”

“Well then, I guess we’ll see who’s better at hide and seek!”

CLICK.

------

Ariel rolled her eyes with a smile just as you walked in the living room.

“Who was that?” You asked, toweling your hair from the shower you had just exited.

“Mom,” She rolled her eyes. “She wanted to make sure we weren’t tearing this place up,”

“Oh?” You asked, suddenly hopeful. “Was she going to ask Rafael to check?”

“What? NO,” Ariel shut down that thought quickly. “I assured her she didn’t need to send that dog over here to sniff around you anymore,”

“Ariel,” You rolled your eyes with a sigh. “I’m a big girl,”

“I know sweetie,” She walked over and scrunched your face. “Such a big girl,”

“Whatever,” You rolled your eyes again walking back to the bedroom.

“Hey…” Ariel grabbed the TV remote. “Do you wanna watch Clueless?”

“What? ….Why?”

“I don’t know, you mentioned it yesterday and now I can’t stop thinking about a young Paul Rudd,”

“....Who looks exactly like present Paul Rudd,” You laughed.

“I know right? I want the magic face cream he must use,” She giggled as you both sat down on the couch to watch the movie.

----

“See, Cher isn’t a bad person, right? She saved Tai,” Ariel gestured to the TV.

“Am I Tai in this situation?” You eyed her.

“Well, yeah,” She shrugged. “Duh,”

“I’ll take it, I love Brittany Murphy,” You shrugged.

“RIP,” Ariel made a sign of the cross with a kiss looking up to heaven. “We should pour one out for her,”

“On your mom’s thousand dollar rug?”

“Okay, so maybe just pour one for us,”

Her phone vibrated wildly; it vibrated so hard it fell off the coffee table onto the floor. You picked it up to put it back, but you happened to glance at the screen.

BHOLE BARBA: You can’t keep her from me forever, Ariel

Wha….keep who from him? You? Did...was he...did Ariel….?

“Alright, who’s ready for mimosas?!” Ariel said in a singsongy voice as she returned with two flutes of champagne.

“What is this?” You held the phone up to her. She read it, her eyes grew wide.

“I...He’s talking about the Adele CD I borrowed from him forever ago, he’s weirdly possessive about ‘her’,”

“Ariel,” You interrupted her with a stern face.

“What?” She played dumb.

“...How could you do this to me?” You asked with a hurt expression.

“Do what?” She rolled her eyes with a laugh. “Protect you from my loser ex brother?”

“You--! Oh my god,” You couldn’t believe it. Your own best friend was trying to mess with your happiness?

“Oh come on Y/N, it’s not that big of a--” She rolled her eyes with a laugh, pissing you off even more.

“It IS a big deal!” Tears stung your eyes, you hated that you started crying when you got angry. How pathetic was that?

“Why? You can’t possibly be in love with him or something,” She scoffed.

“NO! Of course not,” You crossed your arms. “But he could help me with school, with my career! Don’t you want me to get a good job, eventually move out of here?”

“Maybe I don’t!” She yelled suddenly.

“...What?” You asked in disbelief.

“Look, Y/N,” She sighed. “I...you...we both know under normal circumstances, we would never be friends,”

“...I mean, I guess…” You shrugged.

“Oh come on,” She gave you a look. “You’d have to explain every sentence you spoke to me,” She had crocodile tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Oh come on Ariel,” You sighed and sat next to her. “You’re NOT stupid,”

“I’m stupider than you!” She cried.

“...More stupid,” You corrected her.

“See?” She sniffled.

“Okay, but-- still,” You took her hand. "You're my best friend. Do you think that if I don't have to live with you anymore, I won't be your friend?"

"Maybe…" She looked at the floor.

"Ariel!" You cried. "Really? Come on,"

"You come on!" She was actually getting upset now. "Look, Y/N. I don't have...friends,"

"What?" You snorted. "You have the biggest social circle I know!"

"Yeah but--" she tried to find the right words. "They're not like….friends, friends ya know? They're more like…. followers, or leeches, of--"

"Sycophants," you chuckled. She did surround herself with as many people who would tell her she was amazing as possible.

"I don't know what that means but probably, yes," She nodded. “You’re the only one who I can actually talk to, you’re like my little sister,”

“....Right, so…? You think I’ll just give all that up if I move out? If I don’t need you financially anymore?”

“Maybe…” She mumbled. “But ALSO, if that stupid asshole gets into your head about me!”

“Oh God…” You put a hand over your head. “Ariel,” You took both of her hands and looked at her very seriously.

“You are my absolute best friend in this entire world, no…’boy’ could change that! I’ve known you so long, I know you completely. Nothing he could tell me would make me turn on you, I swear it,”

“Really?” She raised an eyebrow at you.

“Really! You held a hand up like an oath. “AND, even if-- WHEN, I get financially stable and can live on my own two feet, I will ALWAYS be your friend,” You used the oath hand and placed it in hers again. “I swear it,”

“....Okay, but absolutely ZERO sleepovers here,”

“Oh, my god, ARIEL,” You gasped. “I JUST want to talk to him about law stuff!”

“Yeah, that’s what he said too,” She rolled her eyes, not believing either of you.

“He did?” You felt your face fall.

“Ah HA! See? Disappointment!”

“Shut up,” You hit her. “I don’t care, we should just be professional anyway,”

“Uh huh,” She nodded sarcastically.

“Are you going to give me his number or not?” You gave her a look.

“No,”

“ARIEL,” You crossed your arms.

“No, then you’re going to immediately call him and give him ALL the power,” She wagged a finger at you. “I’m going to give him YOUR number, and if he calls you, he calls you,”

“Ariel…” You gave her another look.

“What? You don’t believe me?” She feigned offense.

“I really don’t,” You shook your head.

“Alright FINE,” She pulled out her phone and opened her texts with Rafael, typed in your number and hit SEND.

“Happy?” She showed you her phone.

“....Maybe,” You hid the giddiness that was building in your stomach.

Almost IMMEDIATELY after sending the text, your phone lit up wildly.

“Good god I’m gonna get out of here before the nerdy phone sex starts,” She ran out of the room with her mimosa in tow.

“Shut up!” You hissed, mentally preparing yourself for this phone call. The phone call you’d been waiting for for days, even when you thought he was a “player”. You took a deep breath and hit ANSWER:

“Hello?”

“Y/N?”

“Yeah who’s this?” You asked coyly.

“It’s...Rafael, Barba…”

“I’m sorry, who?” You teased.

“Ariel’s….brother?” He skipped the asterisk that went along with “Brother”.

“Ohhhh right right right,” You nodded, keeping him nervous. “Yeah, Ariel told me all about you,”

“I knew it,” He growled thinking about Ariel and her lies. “Whatever she said, she’s lying,”

“Oh so you don’t want to be my mentor?”

“Wha--?” He was shocked. Did Ariel actually change her mind? Or dare he think...a change of heart?

“Yes! I mean, I do! I absolutely do!” He may have said that a little too overzealous, so he dialed it back. “I mean, if I have some time I’d be up for it, if that’s okay with you,”

“I might, maybe…” You were twirling your hair in your fingers. “When do you think you might have time?”

“Well you know I was thinking--” He started, but there was a knock at the door.

“Oh sorry, one second,” You got up and walked over to the door and swung it open to reveal Rafael standing there, right in front of you. He was dressed in a black suit with a pink tie. As amazing as he looked in street clothes, you thought you might mount him right there in that suit.

“I have some time right now,” He smiled, acting as if he was still on the phone. You couldn’t help yourself, you leapt into his arms and kissed him, HARD.

-------

“Hello? Y/N?”

You snapped back to reality, Rafael was talking to you on the phone.

“Oh! Um, Yeah, sorry what?”

“I said I have some time right now, if you wanna meet for coffee or something,” He half laughed, still enchanted by your awkwardness.

“Yes! Sure! I...let me just get dressed, just text me the address, I’ll meet you in a few,” You were so glad he couldn’t see how beet red you were from that little fantasy you had just been in.

“Sounds good,” You could hear him smile; even through the phone it made you weak in the knees.

You hung up and ran to Ariel’s room, hoping she’d help you get dressed.

What could you wear to impress him?

#rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #clueless #rafael barba imagine

[samayla]

The Morning Pages

I'm a couple of weeks into writing "The Morning Pages" - which is a couple of weeks longer than any other journaling stint I've ever attempted - and I thought I'd share a few of the things that I've learned, about myself and the practice.

For those of you who are unfamiliar, "The Morning Pages" is a journaling practice from the book "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron. It's supposed to be a creativity booster, a way to train your brain to get over roadblocks by committing to writing three pages of whatever is on your mind, every day, no matter what.

Now, a disclaimer - I have never read "The Artist's Way." There are, however, any number of excellent videos about it - and more specifically the Morning Pages themselves - on Youtube.

Onward!

★ No one will ever read my Morning Pages. Ever. I don't even reread my own writing. I flip through the pages sometimes, just to admire the pages and pages of handwritten text, but this style of journaling is not for reading, which brings me to my next point...

★ The Morning Pages are not for blow-by-blow, faithful accounts of my day. I approach my Morning Pages with one key question in mind:

Which thoughts are too heavy to carry around with me all day?

This is my brain, hauling around all kinds of junk and shoving it in my face all the time.

To be fair, I love my brain, and it's not all junk. A lot of it's pretty amazing stuff, but I don't need all of it all the time.

My life is hard enough without my brain dumping extra junk into the mix all the time. Also, I had nightmares about the Labyrinth Junk Lady as a kid. So I started writing the Morning Pages to give myself a place to put those things aside. There's a pretty little moth on the cover of my journal, and he can carry those thoughts instead. He's a tough little dude. He gets the ugly, messy, tangled thoughts I would never, ever share with anyone else. He gets those white-noise-tv-static kind of thoughts that try to eat my brain. He gets all the whining and crying and cussing and internal debates that stop me making decisions. He gets the meltdowns and the tantrums and the panic attacks, and he also gets those hyper-elated-bubblegum-in-my-hair kind of happy thoughts that are great, until they get in the way. He holds onto them for me, so I can let them go. They're not gone, just set aside in a safe place, in case I need them later, and that relieves so much anxiety for me.

★ Sometimes I don't have any thoughts like that to unload. I write my shopping list instead. I scribble down the song lyrics that are currently stuck on repeat. I ask dumb questions - like is the French Tuck named after Tan France, or does he just like it because it sounds like it could be? I draw stars or flowers or zigzag lines that mean nothing at all. I write in huge letters that take up three rows each. Flipping back through, those days make me smile.

★ Sometimes I just stop early, before hitting that magical three page mark. Despite all the videos saying it's basically three pages or die, I have not died yet. This shouldn't be a torture device, nor should it get in the way of real life. I didn't write at all the past two days, and guys? The world did not end. My migraines mean there are days when I have aphasia and can't make words happen, or my fine motor skills are trash and writing my own name feels like trying to dig out the Bread Basket in a high stakes game of Operation. I don't write much on those days because it frustrates me - but I could, because no one ever has to be able to read it, but I don't have to, and that makes me powerful. Sometimes my day launches before I'm even out of bed, and there's just no slowing down until my head hits the pillow that night. I don't write on those days either, because it would be just one more thing on a day that needs less things in it already.

★ I need a bit of a ritual to get my brain into Morning Pages mode because there are mornings when my brain just doesn't want to do it, for no very good reason at all. By having every session start with the same couple of steps, I don't have to think too hard to get started. Every entry starts with a little star at the top of the page. This started as a quick way to make sure my pen was working properly, but it makes me happy, so I've kept on, even though I have a really nice pen at the moment. Then I open the writing session with the date and "Good Morning!" - even if I've put off writing until later in the day. The greeting gets one whole line to itself, so I'm already making progress toward that three-page goal. Whenever I'm done, another little star goes at the bottom of the last page, just to close the session and help my brain switch gears again.

★★★So what has this done for me?★★★

I've caught myself thinking things like, "Oh, man. This would be a perfect topic for my Morning Pages. I should save it for that." But then, more often than not, just knowing I could write it in there is enough for me to let it go, right then and there, without any conscious effort. I get to my next set of Morning Pages, and I find myself writing about something completely different. My priorities are free to shift like that now. Instead of stewing over things, I can put them aside, and later on, with a little perspective, I discover that some of those things weren't all that important anyway.

I feel lighter and more in control. I think Intentional is the word. I feel like I'm here on purpose, doing things on purpose. I'm getting better at noticing which things are worth worrying about, and when I feel overwhelmed, I am better able to see my way clear of it.

I feel less pressure to be perfect in my other writings. "Just getting the words out" is easier in the Morning Pages, because I know no one will ever read them, and that's made me realize no one else will ever read the early drafts of my other writings either. I switch up my handwriting in my journal all the time. Some days it's chicken scratch. Others, it's perfect cursive. Or all caps. Whatever I feel like. And for someone who is embarrassingly concerned about the aesthetic of whatever I'm writing, that has been massively liberating. I started a writing journal for Magpie Grace recently as well, and a few pages in, I discovered that I preferred writing in it in all caps. In the past, I might have started over so the whole thing is in all caps, or given it up entirely as "ruined," but now, some is in caps, some is in cursive. No big deal.

#morning pages #journaling #self care #mindfulness