#listen to trauma survivors

[craycraybluejay]

ik people like to act like sex and imbalanced sexual dynamics are uniquely traumatizing (moreso than any other kind of power imbalance, abuse of power, or just flat out abuse period) but from personal experience not really. there's nothing inherent to sex and sexuality that makes it traumatizing. there's nothing inherent to sexual trauma that makes it more traumatic than any other trauma.

and chiefly trauma is never really about the intentions of any party who made or let it happen. someone who wants, intends, and tries to hurt you might bounce off you just like that; because they simply failed to psychologically damage you, because what they did didn't bother you a lot whether it be mental physical or sexual. conversely someone who does not want, intend, or try to hurt you may scar you for life with something either they don't understand is harmful or isn't even inherently harmful and is uniquely that way to you.

i just. i'm annoyed at the narrative of trauma being taken away from the survivor themself. if i say this was traumatizing and you think it's not a big deal, too fucking bad, listen to me. if i say that wasn't traumatizing at all and you think it's the worst thing in the world upon hearing what it is, too fucking bad, you don't get to tell me what my trauma is. i'm sick of seeing people put words in each others mouths and tell someone's story for them without that person's consent. idk like? it makes me so angry that whenever i used to talk about things people would blatantly disregard the most horrific times of my life and instead focus on stuff i was neutral or even positive toward as a big terrible thing that ruined me.

nowadays i'm very grateful to have people who are chill and don't jump to conclusions no one asked them to. people who listen when i tell them "i know this sounds bad but it wasn't actually" or "i know this sounds stupid but this was world shattering." people who i get to laugh with. the RIGHT people who extend me the same kindness of knowing their strange "good bad things" and "bad fine things."

life just isn't as simple as "this is always terrible for people" and "this is always fine for people." PEOPLE aren't a monolith. yes, even that thing that you think must be the worst thing possible. yes, even that thing that you think no one could possibly be hurt by. it's hard to involve myself in serious discussions about abuse because there is a very clear Narrative people want to follow and if you as a "victim" don't follow it then either it didn't happen or you're wrong about your own experience.

hopefully I can consult my therapist about this phenomenon in discussions of abuse and trauma. and also about the specific thing that made me think of this. it irritates me quite a lot when others pity me for something that i knowingly chose-- and in retrospect never hurt me either. like what are you fishing for. why are you looking at me like that. i'm fine, maybe you're the one that needs counseling if my talking about this creates such a visceral reaction in you.

#listen to trauma survivors #listen to victims #listen to people who say they AREN'T that when you say they are too #the only person who knows their life best is that person especially in retrospect #ask to tag #trauma #the narratives surrounding trauma are regressive and ignore anyone who does not fit them #mental health culture critical #mental health #i consume [one] weed and then have sex and its immediately rape. pls touch grass jfc #idk everything surrounding sex is this mystical thing rife with potential evil #and i'm tired of it #the anti sex culture #the whole: there's nothing more traumatizing than someone 2 years older asking you out #pls stop #sex is not inherently more evil or potentially evil than literally any other thing that can be used to abuse #and abuse isn't as simple as 2 neat boxes labeled abusive thing and not abusive thing #for example you cant claim a karen yelling at you in a store is abusive. rude and mean yes but shes not abusing you #but if the same person is yelling at you all the time and has power over you so you cannot stop them thats a diff story potentially #idk people have this #black and white thinking #that never fails to irritate me #and we are never going to get anywhere in understanding these difficult topics if we cannot disconnect the narrative from our ego to always #always be right. to always know what is one thing and what is the other

[coockie8]

I don't know if I've mentioned it on here before, but I've mentioned it elsewhere, that I probably wouldn't be able to maintain a relationship, romantic or otherwise, with an anti. Whether they're the feral ''kys'' type anti or not.

A lot of people seem to misinterpret that as me letting pointless fandom drama control my relationships, but that's genuinely not the reality. Fictional squicks are not the issue here; the treating fictional anything like it's comparable to my lived trauma is, and that is a thing that all antis do.

I don't care if lolicon and incest fiction makes you uncomfortable, you are allowed to be uncomfortable, but the reality is this shit is fiction, and fiction is not the same as 13-17 year old me getting sexually assaulted by multiple different adults on multiple different occasions.

I simply would not be able to maintain a relationship of any kind with someone who thinks a fucking drawing is in any way comparable to what those men did to me!

#just anti things #anti bs #proship #profic #tw: csa mention #trash king vents #I see people talk sometimes about how their romantic partners are antis #and I just can't wrap my mind around that #maybe it's easier if you're not an sa survivor #but I can't fathom being in a relationship with/being expected to trust someone who thinks a cartoon is the exact same thing as my trauma #'cause how can I expect them to be able to listen to and take seriously what happened to me? #I would be living in literal constant fear that I might one day create vent/cope art that would make them compare me to my abusers

[sailorsenshishitposter]

Until it finds my dreams have disappeared

I've been debating about whether or not to post this for a while. Mostly because I use my tumblr to post dumb stuff or act as a distraction from stress. I'm getting kind of tired with people though. This isn't something exclusive to the Metal Gear franchise (far from it) but it's something I've noticed happening quite frequently. Metal Gear has many characters with horrible backgrounds that suffer from PTSD/CPTSD and many mental health issues. I can't help but notice that there's a trend in the younger crowd (isn't mgs exclusive) that whenever there's a heavily traumatized character (I've only seen it happen with male characters but I assume the opposite does happen) that they considere attractive, they will simp for them and post things unironically.

It's like they see someone who they think is attractive and start actually going "NO I CAN FIX THEM! THEY'RE JUST SAD LITTLE MEOW MEOWS". Like it's fine to make jokes but when you see posts that resemble those weird celebrity fan pages bordering on obsession I think it's time to take a step back. I get some people identify with characters which is fine but they'll completely ignore said characters actions and be like "sure they killed all those people but I'd totally let them cut me up if I had the chance to smash" when the person in question isn't even real. Or there will be a character that's traumatized so badly that they think that if you just cuddle a person like that and baby them then you can fix them. I guess I'm mostly just mad because I feel like usually these are young kids who still have a chance for a good life but they're very ignorant about how people affected by trauma can be.

It's not some cute, quirky thing. It changes your whole world and your beliefs, especially when it starts in childhood. You can technically put this for any character that meets the criteria but personally for me I would have to choose Monsoon from Metal Gear Rising. He grew up with no choice but to kill to survive and witnessed the Cambodian genocide along with working for the mafia and nearly dying from that. I don't really care if someone has a crush on a fictional character, personally that's none of my business. What I'm tired of is seeing frequent posts that range from "uwu my soft cinnamon roll baby" to all the graphic smut on here depicting tortue.

I can't speak for everyone but personally I find it demeaning when being coddled by others. Yes, I went through things but please don't treat me like a child. It feels insulting. I also have no problems with BDSM but I can only take seeing so many posts that basically allude to someone drawing a character about to be raped for their own personal enjoyment. It's especially bad when people make stuff of that for characters who have already been held hostage or enslaved (I'm looking at Vergil x Mundus shippers specifically).

Trauma is not something that you can help someone overcome. It consumes them and becomes your entire world regardless of how it came to be. In fact trauma is often passed down through genes. Though you may not have someone else's memories you will have the same reactions to traumatic situations that those before you did or your body will adapt to that kind of environment. Hypervigilance can be passed down through epigenic changes in DNA.

This is where things get personal for me. Though I've never met them, I know I come down from genocide survivors. I'm either third or fourth generation. I'm not exactly sure what they saw but from what I've read it was common to see various forms of torture. One method was to stick babies in the sand and then trample over their heads with horses... Based on the family I could find and knowing their location, they must have survived the death marches and I'm unsure if they were at the final killing fields or not. That's not even mentioning everything they had being taken away from them and seeing everyone they knew suffer horrible fates. To this day bone fragments will still rise from the ground, the bodies of the dead never having been put properly to rest.

I'm unable to travel there but if I could, I couldn't help but feel like I'm being swallowed by death. Why am I here but so many perished. Then on to my father. I don't know much about him and he passed away when I was a child. All I really know about his background was that he came from a wealthy family. It was common for his friends families to have guards outside their children's bedroom doors. We lived in a western country where it was "safe" (he wasnt originally from where I Iive) but I remember he wouldn't sleep at night and would seem like he was looking for something during the day. Sometimes he just stared like he was waiting for something to happen but nothing ever came. I don't want to say that he was an intentionally cruel person, just that I don't think he had the capabilities to act like a normal human being. I was raised with a mindset of being better than others. That is to say that I wasn't supposed to have weakness. It makes sense looking back. He survived having his body messed up and I was told he survived assisnation attemps (corruption is huge down there so it's not like police could do anything). Nothing was said after so I assumed he killed whoever was after him before they could kill him. Pretty much a kill or be killed mindset.

Growing up I realized he was hard on us not to hurt us but because he thought it would make things easier for us in the future. I know it must have been even worse for him if he thought that this was being kind. Anyway he passed away when I was a child and long story short but for whatever reason my family couldn't get in contact with us so I never received my inheritance but that's for the best. I don't know how well I would have handled it at nine if I knew there was a possibility of being kidnapped or killed for the money or because someone had a grudge against my father.

I guess I always knew I was different but his death really solidified that. I was used to having to be tougher but it seems like my older sister and mother couldn't handle it. They already cried one time when we couldn't see him (which was often) and once the news broke I just remember everyone sobbing and screaming in agony. I didn't feel anything though. I realize now that it was dissociation but no tears would fall and I understood what was happening but it felt like I couldn't emotionally process it. At some point I have no memories up until a certain point. Whenever I have some sort of traumatic situation happen I suffer from dissociative amnesia. I'm not sure for how long, I just know that there are large gaps in my memory.

Right before my memories vanished I can remember not wanting to exist anymore. The day after I was surrounded by all the sobbing and knew that I couldn't let myself die. If I did I would just be trying to escape from my pain and would place it on my family. So for the last two decades I haven't really had a dream or anything to look forward to. I've just had a goal of trying not to die. There are many more traumatic things that followed which I won't get into but I dislike telling people my life story since they just give me looks of pity or seem like they want to ask how I haven't killed myself yet.

Unfortunately the kill or be killed mindset has been passed on. While I've never harmed anyone, I have recovered memories involving someone I trusted keeping me against my will and unspeakable things happening many times. I've had frequent nightmares since then and didn't know that my situation wasn't normal. By the time I was a teenager I found out that I didnt have to live my life in fear and allow abuse to keep happening. I've decided since then that I'll do whatever I can should I be faced with a similar situation in the future. I can only fight back to stop such a thing from happening again. It will most likely never occur again but it still affects my life everyday. I can't go out in public without someone I trust and even then I still scan the whole area and look for an escape route. I shouldn't have to feel like everyone around me is a possible threat to my safety and freedom.

I don't think people realize just how calming the rain can actually be. Not just the light stuff but heavy rain. It acts as a soothing white noise that drowns out your thoughts and feeling it hit your body also distracts you. I won't say when since it could reveal my location but within the last few years I was outside during a very bad storm that had frequent wet microbursts. It destroyed all the trees in the area and I almost died but I felt oddly calm. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. There was so much wind and rain that it resembled blowing snow and there was so much water hitting the ground that it would form waves that would zoom so fast and then crash only to repeat the process over and over.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm annoyed by all the sexualization of people with mental health issues. With the way some people act towards characters that don't exist, it worries me how they could treat real people going through similar situations. And on the other hand please see trauma survivors as real people. Many of us had to survive on our own and you thinking someone being terrified is just a shy/cute trait that makes them adorable is infuriating. I can't tell you how much I hate the latter. I'm so sick of people thinking that I need someone to spoil me with affection and protect me to the point where I feel like I'm being treated as a baby. It just makes me feel more weak and pathetic.

#kurapika #kurapica #nelo angelo #monsoon mgr #vent #tw genocide #tw trauma #metal gear solid #mgs #metal gear rising #metal gear rising revengeance #I feel like some of you didn't listen to the lyrics of the stains of time #ptsd #complex ptsd #tw ptsd #childhood trauma #abuse survivor #mgrr #mgr

[sonnburn]

No Means No, but Context Matters

Look, I have mixed feelings about the way Prapai confronted Sky, but my issues with the method doesn’t make the confrontation itself any less crucial.

I think some people are overlooking some pretty important context in their attempt to simplify Sky’s situation and maintain their bad faith takes on Prapai’s character. Because Sky is a sexual abuse survivor and Prapai’s intentions towards him in the beginning were sexual, they interpret Prapai’s pushiness as similarly abusive. But first of all, guys... it’s a BL drama. Of course Prapai’s intentions are romantic, that’s literally the genre! But him being sexually attracted to Sky doesn’t invalidate his efforts to try and help him. 

“No Means No” is a rule specifically about unwanted advances that emphasizes sexual consent. It’s a valuable saying and I would never downplay that! But the slogan exists to address a very specific problem. It is NOT an irrefutable law that should be applied to any and all instances of human interaction, romantic or not, which is how I think some people are choosing to interpret it. “No Means No” should be respected in romantic/sexual encounters, but it should absolutely NOT be applied to people experiencing a mental health crisis.

Because when the person saying “no” is drowning, are we just supposed to let them?

As much as I want Sky’s boundaries to be respected, up until episode 9 I was legitimately scared for him. Sky had emotionally self-isolated, he refused to confide in anyone, didn’t rely on anyone, his best friend didn’t even know he liked men let alone that he’s an abuse survivor! Sky had bottled up all of his trauma and refused to process it. He just wanted to push through and ignore it. Like it or not, Prapai was the only one who noticed how much Sky was actually struggling, and the only one willing to push back when Sky tried to brush it off.

After that, we saw marked improvement over the next two episodes. When Sky got very sick his friends refused to let him help out at the faculty event and forced him to take it easy, and when he was in trouble with schoolwork, he called Prapai and asked for help. These were all positive developments for Sky building a healthy support system, one which includes Prapai.

I think there’s respecting someone’s boundaries, and then there’s letting someone become self-destructive. People say no for a variety of reasons, and as much as I wish everyone would just say what they mean all the time, the truth is that they don’t. People lie, people will smile and tell you they’re fine when they’re dying inside. So what do we do if the person who needs help won’t tell us the truth and we can’t read their minds? What do we do if the person saying no wants to say yes, but they’re scared to— maybe because they don’t want to burden anyone else, or they’re afraid the person they seek help from will hurt them instead. How do we let someone know that it’s okay to ask for help? That it’s safe to. That we want to help them.

The answer is you keep asking. You keep showing up and checking in and making sure they know you’re there for them until they’re not scared anymore. Until they’re ready to trust you. It’s about remaining consistent. If you just take their first no and leave, then yeah you’ve technically respected their boundaries, but you’ve also just proved you are NOT the person they can trust to help them. It is a very fine line to walk when someone suffering needs help but can’t ask for it, between taking someone at their word and giving them the space they need to process, or just checking out of their problem and leaving them trapped inside their own heads to deal with it alone.

Prapai is only human— he’s allowed to struggle between his own desires and doing the right thing. He’s allowed to get hurt and lash out. Regardless of Prapai’s romantic inclinations, his actions serve a greater purpose than just getting Sky to fall for him. Prapai is, at his core, a caretaker. He wants to help Sky, and the only way to convince Sky that he is someone who can help him is to keep showing up and proving that to him. To pull Sky out of his head when he’s spiralling and challenge his negative beliefs that keep him isolated. Prapai doesn’t just not take no for an answer because he won’t accept rejection or because he doesn’t care about what Sky wants. He won’t take no for an answer because he knows that Sky needs help, and Prapai refuses to abandon him even when Sky tries to push him away.

Whether Sky wants to admit it or not, he was drowning. Just because he claimed he could save himself rather than take the risk that Prapai would drag him under, doesn’t mean Prapai was in the wrong for saving him.

#love in the air #love in the air the series #lita #prapaisky #lita sky #lita prapai #love in the air sky #love in the air prapai #sky love in the air #prapai love in the air #lita meta #lita analysis #the amount of people i see in the tags saying they relate to Sky #that they are the type of people who will say no and push people away and what they really need is someone who won't listen to them #and then see them be utterly overlooked and talked over because some righteous idiots can't imagine trauma survivors having different needs #is staggering and sad #proud prapai defender here #Sky needed help and Prapai helped him #that's what matters

[yourhealingjournal]

i know trauma often makes it hard to look ahead and visualize a future. it’s even harder to believe in ourselves or that we deserve good things. if you’re tired of having hope only for it to be crushed again and think it’s better to not have hope so at least you wouldn’t be disappointed, i see you. i hope i can give you some comfort beyond measly words from a virtual screen, but i want you to know that life can be good again even if that seems impossible. life can be good again. you can make something good for yourself right now - like turning on the ac if it’s too hot, putting on another layer of clothing if it’s too cold, getting a glass of drink to quench your thirst. if you need to cry then wrap yourself in a blanket and cry your eyes out - you're still releasing something and helping your body regulate itself. they may be silly, simple little things, but they are proof that you are able to improve your situation by 1% at the moment.

#listen sometimes i still find myself stuck in that hopelessness cycle #but the reframing helps to push me out of my helplessness cycle so #gentle reminder #self help #self love #positive self talk #be kind to yourself #healing #trauma recovery #actually traumatized #complex trauma #self care #actually bpd #radical self love #trauma survivor #childhood trauma #actually cptsd #actually borderline #inner child healing #self healing #reparenting #self compassion #ptsd #complex ptsd #cptsd #cptsd recovery #cptsd survivor #living with cptsd #affirmations #cptsd coping

[switchcase]

I hate to sound like the centrist of the DID community but I think we really need to have an honest conversation about faking and incorrect self dx that doesn't fall into either realm of witchhunting OR blindly validating people in ways that could prove detrimental to them in the long run because it's easier and more feel-good

#like if someone is genuinely saying 'idk if I have DID' i don't think the right response is necessarily to double down on #'you definitely have it because doubt is a symptom of DID (it's not btw. it's common for trauma survivors generally. not DID specific)' #instead of truly listening to them and taking the time to not just tell them what feels good #sometimes that conversation will not have a concrete answer and i think we need to be more ok with that #.log #not actually discourse but i'll tag it since it's adjacent #syscourse ...

[snow-and-saltea]

yesterday i spent 45 minutes of my life watching a video essay criticising the use of cheap shock values and crossing of taboos for a video game and i went from "he has a point even if he's explaining it in a really inflammatory way" to "oh umm... i can see how he thinks that way even if i don't agree" to "oh this guy's just straight up using people on tumblr as material for an audience to get mad at like other outdated people on the internet. nvm he's just an asshole"

#yuu rambles #it was about the coffin of andey and leyley btw - i agreed w him on the first half of the video about how it felt rather noncommittal to it #concepts and themes but i recognise its not really *trying* to be serious which means its not a reasonable #framework to judge the intention and execution of its work - an apple pie does use butter in it but just bc it does #doesnt mean you get to compare it to steak; a dish that also uses butter. this is intuitively easy to understand for me #but nonetheless it was like 3 am i had stuff to do so i just put it on my background to listen #he makes a diss at “people on tumblr” early on that i just raised my eyebrow at but shrugged it off bc its such an old joke #its lost its zinger; and im p sure its just confirmation bias from going into the tags of the thing you dont like lol if you use tumblr #normally you wouldn't come across things you dont like bc you'd have blocked them. But Anyways #then at the end he got sooo self righteous about how people on tumblr are insane and weird and showed screencaps about how twisted everyone #who likes the game are. there were some screenshots of people's post that were like “incest is bad and shouldn't be explored in media. #paragraph break‚ me who is an incest survivor and finds it helpful for working through my trauma: lol” #those types of post. but then lmfao he started going out of pocket and just mentioned the lists of other people he doesnt like which are #a screenie of a video essay about how kink is important at pride #and then some other stuff i dont remember anymore w the tumblr screenies #it was very mockingly written and said and at the end of it i felt sad i couldnt #block people on youtube lmao. like its not i dont want this guy to comment on my videos. i dont want to see his channel involuntarily #recommended to me ever again. just resorted to the most base sort of trolling behaviour he accused and judge other game devs for in his #video essay. good fucking god. the psychological projection is unreal #i dont have any strong feelings towards the game at the end of it even though i thought i would be like Eugh at first #but my bleh for any cheap gimmicks is overshadowed by my disdain for this guy's reliance on self righteous rhetoric #i discovered another new channel i really like tho after that vid!! bc i had to watch smth else to cleanse my palate lmao #they're jacob geller and freddydude! ive only seen one vid from freddydude about his essay on #detention‚ the horror game set in taiwan during the era of white terror under new cn leadership after ww2 #im personally quite jumpy so his humour and the way he edits his videos to make it silly even though its Scary #made me like it a lot!! im going through jacob geller's other vids but ive watched three specific types of terror #and the one about pinocchio which made me go :00 wow his scripts are super good! #again everything at your own discretion esp w the whole james somerton shit‚ but i enjoyed what I've seen so far #i just wanted to end this in a somewhat positive note JSHDKSJDJD the ramblings Continue... #theres a pedantic error in one of ky tags but im gonna update it when im on comp bc mobile sucks smh my head

[lycunthrope]

to the anon who sent me a novel about my post on how the internet screwed up discussions of NPD: im sorry about your experiences. but you do understand that post comes from the perspective of someone who was abused by his mother with another highly stigmatized personality disorder. right.

#i apologize but this is the exact thing i was talking about #where you are letting your traumatic experiences w someone w said personality disorder drive the conversation #listen i understand i KNOW it's a hard thing to have as your triggert #but thats something to be worked on #im not discrediting a community of abuse survivors nor am i telling people they shouldn't talk about their abuse just bc their abuser has #a stigmatized personality disorder. nor would it be logical to claim the personality disorder didn't effect the behavior of that person. #but that's the key word: behavior. a personality disorder does not define your values #so i find letting abuse become synonymous with personality disorders (in this case NPD) makes it really hard to talk about inerpersonal #issues w people online. bc a lot of people project their trauma onto every story about conflict #not to mention making npd synonymous with abuse takes the blame off the person and shifts it onto their disorder #and makes it harder for people w npd to seek treatment

[soldier-poet-king]

Yes i did finish the grief of stones audiobook on my morning commute. No this is unrelated.

#in one hand i am as always thinking abt thara #in another hand. tmg never quite free moment #in a third hand i have been thinking abt astarion specifically in terms of autonomy and the perception of control in trauma survivors #abd the ideas of personhood and autonomy and the insidious nature of familial bullshit that makes you a creature you cannot escape #in ALL hands i am always thinking abt cycles of trauma and burdens of grief. and just. idk man #idk what to do with all this #i cant just put it down. its me. so much of myself is this. yknow??? #gah #the duality of fran #i am going home to listen to tmg and start priming my ugly furniture #tmrw i agreed to do a volunteering redacted thing. after that. go get paint in bight colours #and bg3 with rose and j in the evening possibly #truly just. not beating the melancholic disposition prone to despair accusations

[todayisafridaynight]

Throwing in fun (not fun) facts to contribute esp bc I was tagged in the essay: (Sorry in advance this is literally my career and special interest AND I just got back from a training conference about this SO obv I am going to talk too much. Disclosure: These statistics are from peer-reviewed sources AND the National Children's Alliance. The NCA IS an American association, though, so take this all with a grain of salt bc we're applying it to someone whose bg is not American lmao. This is an essay for funsies. CW: discussion of and stats about CSA, Child Abuse) Relevant to the Jo stuff is also that victims of one/any kind of abuse are statistically much more likely to subsequently face overlapping abuse, so knowing he comes from a home where abuse and potential neglect was actively occurring sets Jo-boy up for some sad statistics. I am looking for my notes on the stats for that but it's something stupid high, I wanna say over 30 or 40%.

Additionally, 47%~ of CSA victims are revictimized. Abysmal statistic but mostly just an interesting note if this IS the case/if we choose to interpret Jo this way bc of the other things mentioned in Masu's ask, specifically if we're viewing his unhealthy and ultimately traumatic relationship with Ikumi as a potential example of that revictimization (similarly, coming from a like background, it may have been revictimizing for Ikumi if she had ever experienced something like CSA, as well. It's one of those cases where they both got hurt even if neither of them were at fault for "playing house" as Jo calls it).

Seconding/Adding on to Masu's thoughts about Jo's behavior being as self-destructive as it is because of the compounded trauma of his life, victims of adolescent abuse "engage in health-risk behaviors such as substance use, physical fighting, and risky sexual activity," in far higher numbers than non-victims. We know for facts that adolescent Jo checks at least 2 of those 3 boxes, and that he still puts himself in unnecessary danger as a full grown adult (the Heian Tower fight, and Hoshino's Office fight): An interesting and well-written cycle of trauma and abuse on RGGs part, tbh, but also so narratively telling about how he saw/sees/continues to see himself as more an object than a person. (Love your notes on that btw, it rings very true. I could write an essay on that alone tbh.)

Another weird little thing I notice from both a Doyalist AND Watsonian perspective: Jo's disclosure of his father's abuse would classify as what we call an "accidental disclosure" in the field even though it's clearly intentional that he shares it with Ichi - it's offhanded and markedly unimportant in the story he's telling. He says it passively in a literary sense, as well: "The only thing waiting for me at home was my father's fists." Like homie, that's the most roundabout way you could have said "My dad beat me." Interestingly, up to 50% of [specifically CSA] victims do not state outright that abuse occurs, but disclose it accidentally/offhandedly; and in general, accidental disclosure is more common among people who have also delayed disclosure. Up to 66% of admissions from victims of child abuse come delayed if they come at all.

I think it's a very in-character remark of him to make, but statistically, it lines up with other victims of abuse as a whole. I think it's also just cool that from the Doyalist perspective, writing his lines in this way was intentional. It's part of the whole "Everything Jo says sounds like it could mean more than one thing" thing. He speaks poetically - it's intentional not just for the character but for the writer.

Okay, I'm done for now I'm sorry I just wanted to throw some added stuff into the convo bc I love applying my everyday usage of adolescent-focused trauma care and pysch shit to blorbos and seeing what sticks. Anyway, I also have a shit ton of thoughts on Masumi Arakawa as an abuse survivor but THATS another essay I won't dig into now. If I am still in your good graces after this long ass spiel I will consider it not only amazing but perhaps even cool as hell.

[ continuity of this ask ]

#long post #cw csa #its related im keeping it LMAO #snap chats #love the implication that you'd be 'out of my good graces' for sending this LMAO NO YOURE FINE WHY WOULD I BE MAD #i wouldve chewed out masu at this point if that were the case i enjoy readin these #the thing is we just have to accept im very stupid and wont have a lot of commentary. just quiet note taking #and i very much do appreciate posts like these cause its a nice reminder for things im aware of but have become very passive to #like jo's passive exposure of his traumas is something im aware of and because of that i dont focus on it as much as i should #so thank you- to you and masu for writing as extensively as you do #again im just very dumb so i wont have anything else to add on that hasnt been already said #or it wont be anything i can just sit and write in a couple of minutes its something thatd prob take a while to write as in-depth as i want #which is why i feel bad for responding. Not At All with these types of asks LMAO CAUSE EVIDENTLY a lot of effort is done by you guys #and i appreciate it a lot so thank you again for writing in #arakawa as an abuse survivor is something i think of a lot and remembering his abuse as a child shines light on his actions and mentality #so i mean if you wanna share your thoughts on that go ahead ! just know. i prob will Also not have a lot to add on to it LMAO #LIKE THE BEST WAY I CAN INTERPRET MY LINGUISTIC INEPTITUDE IS JUST ME LISTENING my sister tells me i listen really well #and i do enjoy listening. because again im not smart enough to think of things on my own or i dont think its worth sharing some things #so always happy to read whatever you want to share

[ziracona]

Me once again from my pulpit trying to rabidly explain how Preston Garvey and Deacon Railroad could easily be the ultimate FO4 ship

#tempted to call him Deacon Funnyman or John Deacon or Deacon FO4 but #fallout 4 #listen Preacon could be EVERYTHING they are so good and have so much in common #lawful good + chaotic good with the almost exact same value system has peak vibe potential #exact same faction trauma and survivor’s guilt. literally the only person who knows what you’ve been through first hand is right there boys #I’m forcing them to hold hands on the 18 hour drive to vacation in the car my synth genius child Shaun fixed between first grade classes

[clochanamarc]

tina's revelation that she feels this weight of responsibility as the oldest daughter leads aisling to encourage her to invite other girls from school over to the apartment so that she can set out a bunch of baking stuff and movies and snacks and drinks and let them be normal teenage girls for a while. it's not something she really pays much mind to, but later on she has a therapy session in which she tells her therapist about it, and he questions whether or not aisling feels a sense of relief because of how her own youth was filled with the burden of responsibility, and indeed the guilt that stemmed from losing her family at the hands of moira.

#( OUT OF SOULS. ) #( ' a certain... wisdom. ' / hc. ) #( listen i have too many fcs for the therapist now ) #( i need to whittle it down ) #( but i also have a leaning towards mat.t berry ) #( anyway it's the fact that aisling is found in glimpses of her children ) #( the same way they're found in glimpses of her ) #( but tina's trauma from the red room is smth that aisling understands so well ) #( and the fact that tina tries so hard to be the big sister is bc she needs to feel normal ) #( she needs a role that isn't red room survivor ) #( and it isn't until aisling talks to her that she finds the other roles )

[theiliad]

i have this thing that i need to get over where i have a physical reaction to other people talking about chemo with any depth, just mentioning it is fine but any details and the nausea comes rushing back and its. physically difficult to keep listening.

#i want to be able to listen to other cancer patients and survivors talk about their experiences. what is this is. #probably some kind of idk trauma response or something #but not a useful one. at all.

[multi-lefaiye]

i deserve a treat*

*i’m going to put The Ritual on in the background while i work on writing rp replies tonight

#multi makes text posts #LISTEN okay i love the spooky woods horror story #about grief and trauma and survivors' guilt #not putting spoilers in here b/c nico said he might watch this movie and i don't want to spoil it <3 #but god i love it

[oimoi-op]

Love seeing posts by online fandom bitches that just really set off the lingering effects of childhood religious trauma

#personal #like i mean i wouldn't interact with social media if i couldn't handle shit #but like. there are reasons why certain terms mean certain things. purity culture has a definition and isn't some label to be slapped onto #anything or anyone against a show or ship you like #fr do these people know it felt like. what it still feels like. do i have dysphoria bc i'm not a cis woman or bc i waised to unconsciously #despise and ridicule and demonize women #am i really asexual or did something break out of fear and self-hatred #like sorry but what we went through—what too many are still going through—is *actual* purity culture and targeted abuse toward afab folks #and you cannot compare that to ''fandom police'' sorry but like being told that the god who made everything and loves you which makes you #special and important and loved actually thinks you're dirty and fornicating and *bad* UNLESS you listen to these old men—you CAN'T compare #that to fandom police. it is not the same. fandom is not religion fandom blogs aren't gods or those ordained to speak for gods the power #dynamic isn't there and the sheer scope of its influence over the past thousand years doesn't exist so like. stfu lol #may not seem like a big deal to you but to a lot of us survivors it fucking hurts so badly to see our trauma compared to ship wars

[theghostiedyke]

.

#listen i have some thoughts about blorbos #and my thoughts are i hate when character who is canonically traumatized had a fic where they start the healing process #like maybe thats seeking help from a therapist maybe its accepting help from other characters etc #and out of no where the writer is like :) and then healing character gets a job and that job is: police officer #like huh... a character who needs to recover from violent trauma and past abuse #and you want them to be a cop??? #just cause another side character (unfortunately) is a cop 👁👄👁 #are the only jobs cops. teachers. n nurses??? #like i fucking hate this #give them a hobby instead of a job #if you do give them a job cause capitalism does force us to work :/ idk make them something neat #give me a fic where my blorbo starts studying social work (ideally with non white blorbos due to the racism ingrained in many aspects of SW #what about the blorbo being an advocate for survivors of the trauma they experienced so they derive purpose and healing #make the blorbo a weirdo artist who uses creation to work through their emotional trauma #sighs heavily l #listen. this mostly about one blorbo #but i feel like its applicable enough because of the unfortunate prevalence of side characters who are grossly cops :/ #mutuals are allowed to ask me about my detailed thoughts on this blorbo though lol #i dont want this in the tags of the media this is abt #hence the vagueness