#literally I have not been able to shut up lately abt how much I have been achingggg for their romance again!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

loaksky · 4 months

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no thoughts other than professor!abby / coworker!abby and the holiday stocking ! this is like 80 percent backstory bc who am i to not blabber about my new favorite trope...full length fic abt them in the works oops! not proofread + no warnings other than language!

tlou masterlist | main masterlist

⋆.ೃ࿔ first let’s set the scene by establishing that abby’s probably a tenure-track professor in a hyper specific literature study or maybe cross-teaches a course or two in the women and gender studies department. you’re a new educator probably teaching english 101?

⋆.ೃ࿔ abby first sees you at the faculty meeting for her department during the late summer and is immediately enamored.

⋆.ೃ࿔ by some stroke of luck, she finds that she’s been assigned to your neighboring office and her final lecture is held in the hall across from yours.

⋆.ೃ࿔ abby’s usually pretty good about the timing of her lectures and she ends up finishing 10-15 minutes early every session. so sometimes she hears the tail end of your lessons and can’t help but think you’re so fucking brilliant.

⋆.ೃ࿔ the students are taken by you too, usually not paying any mind to professors that teach lower level classes, but you’re animated and hands-on, and abby realizes that maybe she should take a page from your book.

⋆.ೃ࿔ literally can’t work up the courage to say anything to you first and is so surprised when she’s having an internal warfare one day while she’s locking up the lecture hall and you slink past her.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “have a good weekend dr. anderson!”

⋆.ೃ࿔ nearly short circuits because how in the fuck do you know her name? (hint hint: you haven’t been able to get a grip after seeing her in the same faculty meeting she’d basically fallen head over heels for you at).

⋆.ೃ࿔ for the life of her, can’t get her shit together over the weekend. is so scatterbrained because the hot new professor knows her name?? practically spirals because that means that she’s been perceived and she has no idea if it’s a good or bad thing because what do you think of her ???

⋆.ೃ࿔ runs into you bright and early monday morning as she’s about to duck into her office and she wants to make a beeline for the safety of her ergonomic chair, but you look a little frazzled and she’s speaking before she can stop herself.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “everything alright?” she asks as you miss the slot for the keyhole a few times and blow out a shaky sigh.

⋆.ೃ࿔ notices you’re carrying a fuckton of things and is wordlessly grabbing your stack of folders and taking your heavy knapsack from you as you finally get the key in the keyhole.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “thank you so much,” you say, voice thick with unshed tears. “i just, fuck, shit, sorry, that wasn’t professional—”

⋆.ೃ࿔ and she could melt because you’re so cute.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “i don’t think i saved the form for midterm grades on my laptop and the battery just crapped out on me, and i’m pretty sure i just missed the deadline and—”

⋆.ೃ࿔ “hey, breathe, breathe,” abby says gently, hands involuntarily smoothing over your shoulders. “you’re okay, it’s okay. shit happens.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ “god, i’m such a idiot.” you scrub your hands down your face. “the upper level professors were right, i do suck—”

⋆.ೃ࿔ “whoa, whoa,” abby calls out sternly, expression horrified. “who said that?”

⋆.ೃ࿔ “it’s not important,” you whisper, blowing out another breath and squeezing your eyes shut as you shake your hands to try to calm yourself. “they’re not wrong.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ “who.” and abby is no longer asking, arms bulging in her oxford shirt as she crosses her arms over her chest and stares down at you.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “dr. paige and mr. ruiz,” you say quietly, fidgeting under such a steely gaze.

⋆.ೃ࿔ abby just makes a noise in her throat, uncrosses her arms and tilts her head towards your desktop computer.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “if you were working on the submission form on your faculty account, it automatically syncs to the cloud both on and offline,” she says. “there’s usually a grace period until the final scheduled lecture for the day which is in...” she glances at her wrist watch, “in about an hour.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ you’re rounding your desk, practically throwing yourself in your chair as you boot up the computer and log into your faculty portal. your cheeks are flushed warm and eyes wide as your gaze flits across the screen.

⋆.ೃ࿔ you deflate in relief after a few clicks to find that professor anderson’s absolutely correct, and there’s the form in all it’s glory, cursor blinking and ready to be completed and submitted.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “holy shit, thank you so much,” you whisper.

⋆.ೃ࿔ when you look up, she’s already stormed halfway out of your office.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “dr. paige and i would just like to extend a sincere apology for our words regarding your tenure here,” mr. ruiz says after they corner you in the staffroom a few mornings later.

⋆.ೃ࿔ your eyebrows are knitting together momentarily before it dawns on you like a splash of cold water.

⋆.ೃ࿔ it explains why professor anderson had been in such a hurry to leave your office after assisting you a few mornings ago.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “s’okay,” you shrug.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “it’s really not,” dr. paige says. “it was immature and uncalled for to make such comments, and such shouldn’t be taken lightly.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ a sudden movement outside of the window catches your eye, and you’re grinning when you see the familiar flash of dirty blonde.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “really, it’s no hard feelings,” you assure them. “now if you’ll excuse me.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ you’re breaking away from them to duck out of the staffroom and surprise surprise, abigail anderson is standing a few metres from the door, arms crossed over her chest.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “are you eavesdropping dr. anderson?” you tease.

⋆.ೃ࿔ she doesn’t even bother to hide it, answering with a firm and resounding, “yes.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ that earns a full-bellied laugh out of you and she realizes that she’s so fucking whipped.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “you’re a wonderful professor,” abby assures you. “your students love you and you’ve already accomplished such great things in the department.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ you can’t help but flush and an awkward but cute silence dawns the two of you after you murmur a quiet “thank you”

⋆.ೃ࿔ “where’s your next session?” dr. anderson breaks the ice. “i’ll walk you.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ the two of you end up getting a lot closer over the rest of the semester and abby starts to get a little frustrated with herself for waiting for so long to actually talk to you.

⋆.ೃ࿔ because you’re practically perfect; so sweet, insanely intelligent, and it’s just the icing on top that you’re probably one of the prettiest girls she’s ever seen and you’ve got an equally pretty ass to match (abby is an ass girl IDC !)

⋆.ೃ࿔ heart is in shambles because you’ve learned how she likes her coffee and frequently bring her one first thing before your string of lectures start.

⋆.ೃ࿔ also, more often than not, the two of you are spending lunch hours together whether you’re grabbing a quick bite from one of the dining halls, splurging a little to eat lunch at an actual establishment, or killing time at the nearby bookstore a few blocks from the campus center.

⋆.ೃ࿔ long story short, you and abby have been spending so much time together and she knows she really likes you, but she can’t find it in herself to say anything because she doesn’t wanna scare you off with such a strong bout of emotions.

⋆.ೃ࿔ but literally everyone sees it! and it’s not necessarily that you’re oblivious, but abby’s accomplished, a really well-loved professor by both the department and her students, and even if there isn’t a ring on her finger, you’re convinced that abby’s got to have someone special in her life...it’s literally you.

⋆.ೃ࿔ even the students see it! dr. anderson’s been lagging recently during her last time slot and it doesn’t take long for a few students who love her especially so to see the way it takes her a little while longer to pack up and how she lingers out in the hall as your class ends!

⋆.ೃ࿔ “have a good weekend dr. anderson!” her last two students chime as they part ways with her. one of them glances over his shoulder and sees you filing out with a group of students from the adjacent classroom. “good luck.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ and abby’s beet fucking red when you finally lock up and ask her what that was about.

⋆.ೃ࿔ fast forward to now, it’s the final week before students are set to go home for the holidays and she’s a little down in the dumps because not only will she not get to see you for almost a month, but she’s usually alone this time of year and it’s agonizing to think that maybe you’ll be going home to someone else.

⋆.ೃ࿔ unbeknownst to her, you’ve been really nervous because maybe you’d overheard her talking to an adjunct professor, owen, about how she’d never gotten a personalized stocking made for her in response to seeing the one hanging on his shelf that his wife and kid had made for him this year, and perhaps you’d watched a couple youtube videos on stocking decorating and went out to buy the supplies right after.

⋆.ೃ࿔ admittedly, the last few days, the two of you are distant, her because she’s sad, and you because you’re probably spending every waking moment trying to think of ways to make the stocking perfect and you’re so in your head that you don’t even notice her change in demeanor.

⋆.ೃ࿔ and you try to make it perfect, really want abby to love her gift, so you fiddle around with it until the last possible moment.

⋆.ೃ࿔ you’re also nervous as fuck as you peer over your shoulder thursday afternoon, hoping dr. anderson doesn’t catch you in the act of staging her gift because frankly you’re too shy to give it to her.

⋆.ೃ࿔ even though you and dr. anderson are on great terms, she’s still so intimidating and you don’t trust yourself to make an ass of yourself, so you relay your message through a pretty piece of cardstock and tuck it into the bag before you’re scurrying off for the end of the semester.

⋆.ೃ࿔ finally, it’s the final day that campus will be open and abby’s trudging up to her office, only really intending to gather the last of what she’ll need since the buildings will be locked throughout the duration of holiday break, but she’s stopped dead in her tracks when she sees the sizable gift bag hanging on her doorknob.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “what that—”

⋆.ೃ࿔ she’s carefully moving around the tissue paper and her heart catches in her throat when she sees a blue stocking bulging with different treats and even a book! with her name carefully stitched on the band.

⋆.ೃ࿔ her first knee jerk reaction is that maybe owen pitied her and made her one, but a matching blue envelope catches her eye and she’s fishing it out of the bag.

⋆.ೃ࿔ recognizes your handwriting from the whiteboards when she’s stealing peeks into your classroom.

⋆.ೃ࿔ cheeks are flaming and stomach is tying in knots as she reads your note.

⋆.ೃ࿔ Firstly, I’m really disappointed I couldn’t deliver this to you in person, but my flight leaves for home on Friday... :( Nonetheless, you’ve been such a wonderful office neighbor and even more wonderful colleague. I truly can’t string together an adequate way to express how grateful I am to work alongside someone as kind and thoughtful as you, Dr. Anderson. You’ve quickly become such a dear friend and I hope you have a wonderful holiday! See you next year! ˆ<3

⋆.ೃ࿔ the fucking heart...the fucking heart!!! literally it’s all abby can fixate on before she realizes that there’s an ass of things tucked in the stocking and not only did you take the time to handstitch onto the fabric, but you took the time to gather things she didn’t even realize you knew she liked.

⋆.ೃ࿔ is unlocking her office so that she can pour the contents of the stocking onto her desk and she nearly dissipates into a pile of goo right then and there because there’s a few packs of her favorite gum (wintergreen), a set of her absolute favorite ballpoint pens (because gel pens are too runny for her liking), a giftcard to her usual coffee shop (“since I won’t be there to bring you your order” according to the note scrawled on the holder), a thick pair of argyle socks in her favorite colorway, and finally, there’s an annotated version of this is how you lose the time war.

⋆.ೃ࿔ and it has to mean something; your book choice and how you raved about it weeks prior during an excursion with abby to the public library, and you’d pulled the copy off the shelf and asked her if she’d read it.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “no,” she answered simply. “never caught my eye.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ “you should read it,” you’d said quietly. “their love was beautiful.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ and she’d never admit it, but she’d checked it out the following morning and blew through the book so fast, heart pounding in her chest as she realized that it was about two women in love. and, god, this has to mean something, she’d continue to agonize, even until this current moment.

⋆.ೃ࿔ and here an annotated version sits, your thoughts and inner feelings inking the pages. it makrs abby bubble with equal parts hope and sadness. sadness because it seems like way too long until she’ll see you again, and hope because maybe this means something more for the two of you in the future.

⋆.ೃ࿔ who knows, really. but abby’s certain that this holiday will feel a little less lonelier with her heart a lot more fuller.

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson #abby anderson fic #abby anderson tlou2 #abby anderson drabble

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stilesb0 · 13 days

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I heard u need some baku requests so I’m here to place one 🥸

Bakugou x fem reader where she confessed to him in middle school but he rejects her, few years later in U.A she has a major glow up and he starts to catch feelings. (Bonus if he gets a tad jealous from hearing their guy classmates talking abt her)

I thank you for this request! It’s is quite short, but I am planning a part two for this!

Bakugou Katsuki x Fem!Reader

Warnings: bullying, humiliation, Kyoka Jiro is BISEXUAL! Mean Bakugou, as always.

Fear, embarrassment, sadness, it was hard to place the emotions, she stood there, squeezing her hands while she looked down, he was laughing at her, showing his friends the very personal letter she had written for him. She could feel the tears threaten to spill out, she couldn’t even form words.

“I find that you brighten up the room every time you enter it, I honestly don’t know what this feeling is, but if you’d give me a chance, I’d like for us yo get to know eachother.” Bakugou’s friend mocked in a stereotypical high voice, sounding nowhere near like y\n.

She bit her lip, holding back her sobs as Izuku Midoriya escorted her out of the class room. Middle school was hell since then, absolute, living, burning, hell.

•

UA high, the best hero school in Japan, she honestly couldn’t believe she was excepted, not that she didn’t have an amazing quirk, but because of her lack of points. Y\N made her way through the school gates, her large Canvas satchel bag at her side. She was running a bit late so she was quite literally Skidding around every corner to make her way into 1-A, only to stop upon a large door.

“What in all things holy?” Y\N blinked up at the door, it was weird, because the door handle was quite low, no one of that height would have been able to reach it.

The girl just shrugged it off and opened the door, to be faced with an older man, and if she was into older man, she’d probably find him attractive…if he didn’t look like a bright yellow caterpillar.

“Wait.” She blinked rapidly for a second. “Aren’t you the erasure hero, eraser head?” She smiled brightly, “I’m quite a fan, I admire how you try to stay out of the press.”

Aizawa stared.

“Sorry, i’m L\N Y\N, but please, call me Y\N.” She smiled. “I’ll go find a seat now, I’m sorry I’m a bit late, I missed my train (?)”

“It’s fine, sit down.” He replied exhaustedly.

Y\N faced the class, finally realising who else was in the class. Her face harden, seeing as the only seat left was next to him. ‘So cliche.’ She thought, before making her way over the the seat next to Bakugou, placing her bag under the desk. She didn’t look at him, not even a glance, she couldn’t even form the words on how much she despised him.

He, on the other hand…stared at her as if she was unrecognisable, also noticing how Denki kaminari and Kyoka Jiro were staring at her.

“That is the hottest girl I have ever seen.” Denki whispered under his breath.

“You’ve said that about every girl that entered this room.” Jiro rolled her eyes.

“Except you.” Denki snapped back, though, he definitely thought she was good looking.

“Shut up.” Jiro rolled her eyes.

Bakugou watched the conversation, only really picking up Denki’s first sentence, and for some odd reason, he could feel the all to familiar anger bubble in is gut.

——————————————————

Bro, it actually so short, I am so sorry 😭😭🙏🙏 I fr didn’t mean for it to be so short, I’ve literally written over 1000 words for a single chapter, but it’s nearly 11 and I have to be up early tomorrow <\3

#bakugou headcanons #bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou #mha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x you #bakugou x y/n

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haknom · 1 year

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MUTUAL AWARDS!!

honestly i used to want to do them sooo bad when i was actively posting on tiktok etc but never had the chance soo... EVERYBODY CHEER HERE THEY ARE!!!! *insert crowd cheering*

here are the awards for tonights show; funniest mutual(s), the one(s) i cherish most, my #1 hater, mutual that only speaks truth, best music taste (the artists we have most in common with), mutual with the best series/fics, the mutuals i look up to the most, the mutual i love hearing life stories from, and lastly, the mutuals i love being around!

let’s start off strong and go with my #1 hater !!

lately, i’ve been getting sm HATE from my mutuals bc of the jungwon fic i am currently writing and it’s been coming from MANY of them. our nominees (by ME) for tonight are; fee, soph, rei, and diana.... It was really hard choice but. @feeeli wins the award bc tell me why SHE IS SO TOXIC DANGG like cmon bae it was never that serious 💔 we literally went from enemies to lovers so It’s an easy win tbh BUT SECOND PLACE WAS DEF REI LIKE DAMN SHES ALSO TOXIC 😭 i can say one word and i’ll get a “shut up” in response I SWEAR.

now that that little rant is over (love u both sm!!) let’s move onto the second award... the one with the longest name - best music taste (the artists we have most in common with). obviously my mutuals and i stan a lot of similar groups but there is the one mutual who literally. I js adore them for this. ANYWAYS NOMINEES FOR TONIGHT ARE moki, rei, and sia (literally gives the best song recs tbh). Really difficult to choose Once again but this award goes to... @mokiverse !! u don’t know the GASP i let out when i saw that u also love dept on ur carrd. LITERALLY NOBODY KNOWS HIMMM makes me so sad BUT DEF DESERVED THIS dept4life yall ! sia and rei have GREAT music taste esp sias song recs SHADY AND ONE NIGHT >>>> been obsessed since she gave me them!

3rd award of the night is..... funniest mutual(s)!! nominees for this one are rei, soph, flo, sona, sia, mari, diana, yen, sunny, esther, eju ema, sav, fee, and jules!!

no joke.. i wish i could js @ like every single one of my mutuals for this one bc u should see how much they make me laugh under the span of 5 minutes..

hard choice tbh and im Srs abt this one but i’ll try and limit it to at least 5 mutuals 😞 BUT ANYWAYS these 5 mutuals r like IDK They make me giggle, their comebacks r so funny and good, THEIR HUMOR?? dont get me started, and their jokes r js so good. the winners for this award areee @soov @son4taa @hanniluvi @wonieleles @eundiarys and @feeeli (again Ik) GUYS DONT BE SAD PLS if u dont win this is all for fun..... BUT REIS JOKES R SO FUNNY IDK WHY even if theyre directed at me im still gonna giggle.. SIA >>> her dn jokes when i first met her always made me laugh ESP THE CHEWING GUM ONE i forever hold onto it LMAOOO 😭 SONA AND SOPH.

theyre literally twins i swear Bc why do i let out the same three laughs whenever they make jokes. SOPHS SMAUS R SO GOOD AND HER RESPONSES TO EDITS OR REACTIONS TO THINGS LMFAOOO i saw ur reaction to that one edit soph Dont hide “eats my walls” WDYM??? 🤨 and sona is js so funny theres no reason needed. DONT EVEN TRY AND DISCREDIT HER 😒 i giggle sm its unbelievable. FEE!! double award how r u feeling bff!! ever since we met each other under esthers comment section LMAOOO ive always found u funny 😭

LIKE U SWITCHED UP SO FAST AFTER FINDING OUT I WROTE BAD NEWS?? WERENT U JS THREATENING ME A MINUTE AGO 😭😭 jules taehyun smau??? I giggle left and right I WAS LITERALLY LAUGHING AT 7:17 AM LIKE THATS HOW YK SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH ME LMAOOO

okay now for the 4th award “the one(s) i cherish most” No joke. this one is literally impossible idk how i was able to narrow it down 😓😓 but todays nominees areee.........................................................JK U RLLY THOUGHT 🤣🤣🤣 i cherish every single one of my mutuals! theyre all special to me to the point where i cant even separate them into categories nor rank them. BUT ANYWAYS next award guys!

this award is called “the mutuals i look up to the most” once again! this one was acc a hard choice since i look up to everyone but if we’re going by who i admire the most / am inspired by then it’s not that bad. here are the nominees!! sona, soph, rei, sia, yun, yen, esther and sue!! the winner(s) of this award will now be announced. @soov @soobnny @amakumos @hanniluvi @son4taa @yenqa @urszn Funny how they all won the award... BUT FR! yun has been my main inspiration for starting an acc SHOCKING IKK LMAOO and when she followed me back tears formed in my eyes HELP i was so surprised tbh but i admire her sm and enjoy ALL her works! as well as sue! i love sue and when i saw that she followed me back??? i literally SCREAMED.

LIKE THE SUE FOLLOWED ME BACK?? i rarely interact with them both since yk a little too shy to do so BUT YOULL SEE ME IN UR ASK BOXES OCCASIONALLY TRUST ! soph sona yen esther and rei i love them smm IDK WHY BUT they js inspire me to write and continue series i want to discontinue LMAOO support them Now. i will appear under ur covers at night do Not test me rn.

next award!! “the mutual i love hearing life stories from” easy win tbh. nominees r mari, raven, and rose! AND TBH everyones life stories r so entertaining to hear but theres something abt this one mutual’s life... ESP THEIR LOVE LIFE HELLO???? the winner is.... @aezrali !! LIVE LAUGH LOVE ROSE’S LIFE STORIES. YOU LITERALLY LIVE IN A DRAMAA I SWEAR the asks u used to send me always had me so intrigued no joke. PLS BRING THEM BACK 🙏 still rooting for the second lead btw 🤞

7th award tbh Why am i on a roll. “mutual that only speaks truth” Literally everything this mutual says is agreeable (UNLESS ITS ABT ME AND THIS JUNGWON FIC 😒) this is like the 3rd award this mutual won LOL but tonights nominees areee raven, rei, and soph! but the winner is @soov ! EVERYTHING U SAW ABT THIS FIC IS WRONGGGGG (idk what u say so Dont ask me.) BUT ANYWAYS rei literally speaks truth and adds humor into it SO its an automatic win tbh 🤞 never mess with rei I learned that the hard way...

second last award for tonight isss; mutual(s) with the best series/fics! i’d say i nominated all my mutuals for this one but i do have personal favorites! @amakumos @son4taa @hanniluvi @yenqa @eundiarys !! all their seires and fics r so good. Literally go support them pls 🙏🙏 you’ll see me reblogging their posts A lot. So clearly theyre good 😂

LAST AWARD GUYS!! MUTUALS I LOVE BEING AROUND ! as i said before its impossible to put my mutuals into categories like these but if i HAD to choose i’d say @taejays because they’re very comforting and fun to be around! i enjoy our little chats about fics etc 😁 @wonieleles ever since i met sia i always loved being around her! shes one of my favorite people to speak with or at least have her presence around me.

@redm4ri MY OG BFF!! when we first both joined walmart enhypen we literally connected so quickly?? unbelievable LMAOO but youre so exciting i love u sm @feeeli everyday We shall thank esther’s comment section that brought us together bff 🫶 it’s been like 3 weeks of knowing u and it felt like we’ve known each other since diapers...CRAZY RIGHT IDK WHY BUT IT SHOCKS ME EVERYTIME I THINK ABT IT i love ur company sm and our little secret gc LOLOL forever my #1 rival 🤞

@isoob MY FIRST MUTUAL ON THIS APP. everyday i wake up and i am thankful i met u! we literally fell off for like a good 10 months BUT WHO SAID THAT STOPPED OUR FRIENDSHIP 🤣 LOVE U SM EJU!! @ox1-lovesick ty for sending me that ask during math class! i literally smiled ear to ear when i saw it i was sososooso excited and happy u dont understand LMAOO but i love being around u sm LIKE its js sm fun I MISSED U SM WHILE U WERE ON BREAK THO 💔

and everyone in walmart enhypen! i cant rlly @ everyone before this becomes a whole long fic type post LMAOOO but i adore all of u guys and hope the world treats u best! i always wake up grateful that i accepted that little invite rei posted If not... this post wouldve never been this long tbh LMAOO BUT U GUYS R AMAZING AND SO SWEET I LOVE U ALL!

hopefully this wasnt THAT long PLS FOR READING AND I HOPE URE ALL HAPPY WITH THE AWARDS!!

#☆ — mutuals #☆ — k’s thoughts #this was sm fun wtf #once again!! this was only for entertainment purposes pls don’t be sad 😓😓

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chaeryybomb · 3 years

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nct dream reaction to their idol!reader girlfriend being shipped with another idol

anon: nct dream reaction to their idol!reader girlfriend being shipped with some other idol :) love your works btw. and thank you for this in advance

pairing: nct dream x idol!reader

genre: headcanons, fluff, crack

warnings: mentions of insecurities

a/n: dhsjdj technically my requests are closed rn but I decided I would write this out so I hope you enjoy this!

mark lee

confused boi™

tbh he wouldn't even notice you were being shipped with another idol until another member points it out

you were a special guest mc for the show and fans saw the cute interactions you had with the boyz juyeon

and soon enough fans started shipping the both of you together

in reality, you and juyeon were just high school friends and you were glad to see him again

fans on the other hand,,

mark didn't realise you were being shipped with juyeon until doyoung pointed it one day

and mark was all like

( ・◇・)？"nani? y/n and juyeon???"

he would then search up ynjuyeon on twitter because cough yeah

and found a shit ton of edits of the both of y'all

and now he's sad :((

he's sad that because no one shipped y'all together

"isn't your relationship a secret???"

"yeah but still :((("

mark sweetie y'all have neve interacted on stage before fjdjdndnd

he knows you love him and would never cheat on him

but boy is he going to be a pouty baby when y'all hang out next time

literally all he's going to say is:

"why do they ship you and him together?? why not me :(("

"mark they've never seen us in the same room before"

huang renjun

unbothered king™

at least that's what he tells you fhdjdj

he found out through a vlive fhdhdjj

it was one of the usernames and the username was like ynxyanan_shipper

and renjun mf squinted his eyes like

did I read that clearly ಠ_ಠ

he's like yn and wHO

chenle was beside him when it happened and chenle was like what's wrong

and renjun points out the username

and chenle starts lauGHING BECAUSE HE FINDS IT SO FUNNY

renjun smacks him on the head to tell him to shut up DHHSHDD

obviously he would take a screenshot of the username and sends it to you

and he's like

short king <3: do you hv something to confess to me

you: ,,, my love for you??

short king <3: blocked

you: HAHSAHS IM KIDDING

tbh you find the situation honestly really funny

cause you and yanan aren't exactly friends? you're more of acquaintances than friends

and you made eye contact one (1) time with him by accident at an award show and suddenly you're being shipped with him

when you call him the next time to hang out, definitely expect him to be salty about it fjdjfjd

"hey are you free to come over today?"

"I don't know, why don't you ask your BOYFRIEND yanan"

"renjun istg i will break up with you-"

lee jeno

oh baby boy is gonna be so so confused

he's going to be even more confused because you're being shipped with itzy's chaeryeong fhfhfjf

see you and chaeryeong were featured in an episode of a reality tv show once

and the both of y'all immediately hit it off and your friendship was just adorable

so y'all kept interacting every time y'all see each other

and y'all are now nicknamed as the 4th gen gfs because y'all are so adorable???

like the chaeryn ship ur most popular ship ever

so jeno is so confused?? like why is his gf being shipped with her??

he's like a whole ass puppy okay

you, on the other hand, find the chaeryn ship really cute so you don't mind it and you jokingly call chaeryeong your gf once or twice on live before fjdjfn

whenever you tell him that you're hanging out with chaeryeong, he will pout at you and give you his best puppy eyes

like he will cling onto you and try to convince you to now to go

it works like 13% of the time and you would cancel plans with chaer but most of time it doesn't and you would end up being late jhdjsh

but it will slowly become into an inside joke between y'all

like yk that one meme

"this is yn my girlfriend and her girlfriend chaeryeong"

kjdhkjshfs yeah that

but in all seriousness, jeno is really unbothered about you being shipped with chaeryeong because it basically has the same energy as him being shipped with jaemin

whenever y'all are having play fights, you jokingly threaten to leave him for chaeryeong jdsfjds and he immediately stops and says that's unfair

pls shower him in hugs and kisses later

lee haechan

definitely makes a fuss about it

i mean he knows that you aren't going to leave him and all but is he going to be dramatic about it? yes, yes he is

he finds out by himself because he was probably on twitter stalking your hashtag

when he suddenly stumbles upon and edit of you and ateez's san

he's like O.O wot is tHis?

screenshots the edit and sends it to you

hyuckie: yNNNN

hyuckie: THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

hyuckie: BABY

hyuckie: SUGAR BUM

hyuckie: DAISY PIE

you: what in, the ever loving fuck, is daisy pie

hyuckie: *sends screenshot* ARE U CHEATING ON ME

you: hyuck that pic is clearly edited

hyuckie: I KNOW BUT ARE YOU????

you: i-

he makes so much jokes about it that you literally have to shut him up with a kiss

jokes on u reader he's doing this on purpose to get those free kisses

the jokes stop when you actually finally meet san during a game show and shippers are like omg they finally interacted

and the amount of ynxsan edits just,, grow

haechan acts even salty about it and whines about why fan don't ship y'all together when y'all have made eye contact during the golden disk awards bc he was being a lil shit hdsjhfjds

"hey what if i keep staring at you during the melon so we can get into a scandal?"

"hyuck this is supposed to be a secret relationship-"

"yeah but-"

jokes on u he actually does stare at you at the next award show and thankfully did not get into any scandals, but fans started to ship the both of you!

na jaemin

the true unbothered king

literally does not care that you are shipped with someone else

because he knows that he is yours and vice versa

and plus you love him a lot so

he finds out from chenle, who did it out of spite because one day chenle was bored and wanted to cause some chaos

boi basically ran up to jaemin to shove an edit of you and treasurer's junkyu together and went like

"look hyung! ur gf is being shipped with someone eLsE"

"oh that's weird"

"rigHT"

"I thought people shipped her with treasurer's hyunsuk"

chenle is like

HUH???

"aren't you like,, jeaolous??"

jaemin just shrugs and says "hmm, not really"

jaemin knows that you are good friends wth a lot of idols because you're a social butterfly

so he truly doesn't mind when you get shipped with other idols bc in the end , he's the one holding you in his arms

plus he knows the edits and shippers are mostly harmless

and he trusts you

so he just fucks around with chenle jkldsfj

chenle is still confused bc he wants to rile jaemin up for fun but failed hjdshf

zhong chenle

if you thought haechan was dramatic, then you better buckle up for chenle's

so you see

fans already shipped u and chenle

y'all already have a dating scandal

and both companies tried so hard to defuse it

see you are an mc for a music show and you were interviewing nct dream

chenle, being the lil shit he is, kept giving you the heart eyes the entire time

and 6 months later, y'all got caught by dispatch on a daTe

ofc both sides were panicking but chenle was enjoying bc he's like "yeah this is my s/o and what abt it"

but y'all still had a dating ban so sm was this close in kicking him hfdsjfh

fortunately, they were able to cover it up as someone else so there's that

so chenle is aware that fans shipped the both of you together

so when he sees you being shipped with stray kid's jeongin

he was like "HOW DARE THEY-"

calls you to complain about the ship for 3 hours

and that is how you found out as well-

literally you don't even know jeongin so you just let chenle complain about it

he goes on and on about why fans should continue to ship y'all together so when he reveals the relationship the fans will be surprised but also not really at the same time-

"should i get into another scandal with you?"

"chenle no-"

park jisung

oh baby boy is going to be very, very confused

i mean he knows that shipping is a thing between fans

he's just confused why ppl would ship you and p1harmony's keeho

like you have never interacted with him so why would fans ship the both of y'all??

the dreamies mostly tell him to not take it serious but the chenle and haechan would egg him on

"get into a dating scandal with them"

"guys no-"

he wouldn't tell you that it bothers him because he doesn't want you laughing at him, worrying over a small issue

so honestly, it lowkey eats him up on the inside

until one day, you basically force it out of him because he's been acting weird for the past week

he finally confesses about the what's bothering him

and you tell him that you wouldn't have laughed at him

you know shipping idols is a common thing in the industry and sometimes it's uncomfortable knowing it when you're already in a relationship

but you also tell him that it's basically harmless because fans can't really force the both of y'all together

jisung would be insecure about the relationship because it's kinda of his first? so he just doesn't want to mess it up

just reassure him a lot and tell him that you won't leave him

and as time goes by, he just gets used to the shipping

#nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream reactions #mark lee imagines #renjun imagines #jeno imagines #chenle imagines #jaemin imagines #park jisung imagines #nct x reader #nct dream x reader #mark lee x reader #renjun x reader #jeno x reader #jaemin x reader #chenle x reader #jisung x reader #nct imagines

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levworship · 3 years

Note

Okay I’ve thought abt smth like this for a while, but akaashi eating you out under the table, the guys legit don’t know Akashi is even there because they came in to see you eating alone (there’s also like a long ass table cloth) you manage to “hide” it very well, but once they leave Akaashi gets a text from his former teammate Konoha saying smth about knowing what was happening. He still ends up fucking you against the table though.

I’m not sure if it’s good or boring? You could always spice it up.

holy shit i had to type this four times bc i kept closing tumblr i’m going to scream. but i got it !! finally. sorry if this isn’t good i got rlly upset and impatient.

cw: fem reader, oral (fem receiving), humiliation kinda, akaashi freaky af, also the whole team there lol, they don’t know what’s happening tho

summary: akaashi is a horny shit and eats his girlfriend out from under the table in front of his old teammates.

“just a little taste. please, baby. let me make you feel good.”

‘little taste’ my ass rang loosely in your mind as you bit down on the back of your palm, arms fluttering shut as his mouth worked against your cunt just right, almost like it was made just for him to devour. many would be shocked to hear that you weren’t the pervert of the relationship, but rather your sweet, precious little keiji was.

he was willing to shove it in you any and everywhere. in the backseat of the car while you two wait for the rest of your friends to return from the mall? done that. giving him a blowjob in the middle of a movie, where anyone could come find you? done that too. so it came as no surprise when akaashi snuck his way between your legs and practically begged for you to let him feast on your sweet pussy that was just begging to be touched (or so he claimed).

“k-kei�� please. they’re almost-“ your whispered pleas fell short at the sound of a *click* and the front door creaking open. you suddenly regretted making the decision to leave the door open for your guests to enter on their own accord, as you assumed you’d still be busy tidying by the time they arrived. but to your delight, akaashi stayed by your side the entire time and helped you to finish preparing way sooner than you figured you would.

and judging by the way his fingers gripped onto your thighs harder and spread you open to allow himself to delve his tongue deeper into your soaked pussy to taste more of your essence, it dawned on you that his “helping” earlier was all apart of his plan to put you in this position. sick kinky fuck.

“y/n!” a loud and familiar voice rang through the room as you lifted your head to see the group all standing before you in your dining room. thank god you’d at least convinced keiji to let you set the table before he got to work under the long table cloth that shielding him from view. how much of this did he plan ahead, anyway?

“man, i’m starving over here. been looking forward to this all day” the buff man rubbed his hands together and licked his chapped lips as he strutted his way through the dining room as if he’d been there a million times (which he probably had at this point). “say, where’s keiji? you know he never likes to miss shit like this. he gets upset at me for even being late.”

as if on cue, your boyfriend raised his fingers to stroke at your folds tantalizingly slow, your eyes nearly fluttering shut as you almost forgot what your current position was. “s-sick.” you cringed at the sound of your own voice. fucking asshole. “keiji is sick. h-e said he’ll be down in a s-second.” and too your convenience, now clearly fixated on the plate of food in front of him, bokuto nodded his head wordlessly and began to dig in like a man starved as the rest of the former fukurodani players plopped down into their seats.

the rest of the dinner was composed of idle chit chat, the boys thankfully too caught up in their meal and their own conversations amongst eachother to acknowledge the way you squirmed in your seat occasionally, or how you couldn’t stop some of the little whimpers that fell past your lips and instead made a poor attempt to cover them by clearing your throat. it was all too much at once, having your boyfriend’s lips wrapped around you clit and sucking at it harshly as his fingers hit just the right spot, speeding up everytime you got just a bit too still or quiet for his taste.

he was sadistic like that. sick fuck, making you feel so damn filthy with so many pairs of eyes nearby.

thankfully, you were able to engage in minute conversation as you fought off your orgasm that was tumbling upon you quicker and harder than you’d like. and the second everyone gathered their things and said their goodbyes before stepping out of the door—

“keiji— i can’t. shit...shit” akaashi growled as you grinded your desperate sex on his face, lifting the table cloth with his free hand to make sure you saw just what he was doing to you, and how effortlessly he was doing it. the scene alone had your eyes rolling back painfully. “that’s my good girl. let go for me, yeah?” and with the sensation of his voice vibrating through you? your orgasm came crashing down on you. heavy. hindering you useless almost immediately.

you were too caught up in your bliss and attempting to catch your breath to hear akaashi’s phone vibrate (thank god he hadn’t received any calls during dinner). a single message was displayed at the top of his notifications.

konoha: “sick” my ass. you two are fucking gross. you’re lucky the rest of the team is literally blind.

akaashi didn’t even offer a reaction, instead opting to set the device down and pinch your thigh, successfully grabbing your attention again.

“you still with me, pretty girl? wanna let me play with you some more?”

once again sorry for any mistakes.

#haikyuu smut #hq smut #akaashi smut #keiji akaashi smut #haikyuu dirty imagine #haikyu!! smut #akaashi x reader dirty imagine #akaashi x female reader #.chiyo’s works #.chiyo’s works hq

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dancingazaleas · 3 years

Text

ymir & historia reiss | addition

i literally never stfu abt them so why not write abt them

THIS IS A POLY ONESHOT!!! i love them but it’s hard to imagine them with someone else (romantically) so why not both! this post is so long and kind of cringy i’m so sorry besties 😞

warnings/notes: cursing, angst to comfort/fluff, modern au!, college au!, reader, historia, and ymir are 19-20.

you groan and slam your head against your desk, ymir just laughs at you, sitting to your right. the two of you were in your geography class and you felt like your brain was melting.

“it really isn’t that hard,” ymir nudges your ribs with her elbow.

“easy for you to say. you’ve been around the world, i’ve barely left trost,” ymir rolls her eyes as you whine into your arms, “you’re also literally majoring in paleontology. you’ve been into it since you were a kid, like a nerd.”

“i might just punch you for that,” she threatens, “historia was pretty good in geography back in highschool. maybe she can tutor you?”

when ymir said historia’s name, it felt as if you were getting whiplash from how you felt giddy and then felt slightly bitter.

historia has been your best friend ever since the two of you were 17 and met at a bed, bath, and beyond store. she goes to community college, her dad forbade her from university and she only agreed if it she could go. when you gushed about the university you’re currently going to, she immediately started listening and asking what classes you were in.

that’s how she found out you have geography with her girlfriend, and your other best friend, ymir. she started squealing and decided to introduce the two of you.

you both tried to intimidate one another when you first met a year ago, but once historia said something about farting from anxiousness you both bursted into laughter.

that’s how you integrated into their lives. you hang out with the both of them almost everyday, you talk to them everyday, you eat lunch together every thursday, and you three even go see new movies together on saturdays.

within the first four months of befriending the both of them, you felt like as if you were ruining the their alone time. multiple times you had come to hang out with ymir and/or historia only to find out that they were having a date night. even if they invited you to join after, you still felt guilty.

you also felt guilty for feeling jealous and sad whenever they both would show affection for each other. you didn’t know what you were/are jealous of and you don’t know what would make you sad about them being happy.

but you realized what exactly was making you feel that way when ymir and historia started pestering you about your love life. specifically, about a girl named hitch that they think you’d like. and ymir asked you if you’d ever even been in love before. after a few minutes of contemplating, you told her yes.

you love them both. you wanted to be with the both of them.

but you never could be. they don’t love you in the same way as each other. they don’t want to kiss you, hold you, and sleep with you.

and you know that.

“hey doofus, class ended. you comin’?,” ymir’s voice shook you out of your trance.

you look at her and nod, shoveling your stuff into the tote bag you use as your backpack. the two of you are going to meet historia for lunch, you both don’t have classes after 12. thank god.

it’s raining when you two step outside and ymir’s rambling about what restaurant the three of you should go to for lunch as you both walk to her car. you tell her you’re okay with anything as the two of you get in the car, which makes her whip her head towards you and pause after you’ve closed the doors.

“alright, what’s wrong with you,” she asks abruptly.

“what? why are you asking?”

“you’ve been so spacey and quiet lately, you’re hooking up with people, and now you’re okay with eating whatever? you’re a little picky about your food. and you usually never shut up. something is up,” she’s started the car and is no driving out of the parking lot.

“it’s just classes and work. i’m fine. i don’t wanna talk about it,” you shrug and look out the window. you don’t want to look at ymir.

“you’re lying,” she scoffs and shakes her head, “liar.”

you just ignore her and keep staring outside the window.

the rest of the car ride is silent excluding the tame impala song ymir’s playing on the radio. you almost jump for joy whenever the restaurant that historia and ymir must’ve decided on is in view. historia’s standing is sitting on a bench outside of the restaurant, holding an umbrella over her head and a smile shows up on her face when she sees the two of you pulling up. she’s stands up and waits for ymir to park and for you both to get out of the car. it makes your heart flutter a bit. she’s gorgeous.

you almost lunge out of the car whenever the door’s are unlocked, catching the attention from them both. you start fast walking towards the doors of the restaurant, but historia is blocking your path with her arms out wide to give you a hug.

you don’t want to hug her. you don’t want to burst into tears from the hug alone. she’s closing in on you, but you manage to swerve to the left and successfully dodge the hug. you scurry into the restaurant before she can get another chance to hug you. historia and ymir give each other a look of confusion and sadness.

after they exchange a peck on the lips, they follow you into the restaurant. when they get inside, they’re met with the view of you chatting excitedly and bashfully with the hostess, who’s name tag says nifa.

when nifa starts leading you to your table, you spare them a look that says to follow you. while nifa’s leading everyone, you’re both still laughing and blushing. historia and ymir give look at one another, feeling somewhat bitter at seeing this. you hadn’t even said anything to historia and you’ve barely talked to ymir all day.

the couple almost cry out a thank you whenever you’re all seated and nifa leaves.

you start looking at your menu aimlessly. you’ve been here before and you know what you want. but anything to avoid eye contact with ymir and historia, and it makes them sad.

“(name), did you know the hostess? seemed like you two were good friends,” you look up from the menu to see historia leaning towards you while smiling.

“no, i don’t know her. she said i looked familiar and we started talking about if we go to the same university. only to find out that i have a class with her,” you look embarrassed as you start to stare out of the window.

ymir hums in response and the waiter makes his appearance before historia can ask something else. you all decide to order your food at the same time of your drinks—it speeds up the process. when the waiter leaves, the table falls into an uncomfortable silence.

a couple minutes later, you’re scrolling through social media and taking a sip of your drink that was brought to you. you’re debating if you should text the groupchat you’re in with eren, mikasa, and armin. but before you can even make the decision, ymir and historia clap quietly, a signal that the food is here.

even when you’re all eating, the silence is unbearable. you feel like banging your head against a window. you opt to stare outside of it instead.

for some reason, this sets ymir off and she drops her silverware against the plate, the noise startling you and historia.

“alright,” she’s still chewing, “what the fuck is up with you? something’s obviously wrong, and you won’t tell us for whatever fucking reason. you’ve been so distant towards historia and i lately, you’re not even talking to us that much in person, you reject historia’s hug, and you seem so spacey lately!! you’ve also been rejecting our invites to hanging out when it isn’t thursday or saturday. you can’t just act like this and then expect us to not fucking notice the obvious changes. so what the fuck is wrong?”

you struggle to reply, “i’ve just been... stressed with school work and stuff. i’ve got a lot of stuff on my mind. how have i been distant?”

ymir slams her hand onto the table, and that’s when you realize that she’s actually pissed off. she’s pointing her finger at you as she starts raising her voice, attracting attention from other customers.

“you told me that you don’t have much work unless finals or what the fuck ever is coming up and finals end two fucking months ago! you fucking avoided hugging historia, and you’ve known her for years. but you’re so happy to chat with the fucking hostess, who met today. you’re acting like you don’t want to be our friend anymore, and if that’s the case then fucking tell us up front. it’ll save us some pain,” she spits and historia’s slapping her bicep and trying to get her to stop.

your throat feels clogged as your eyes start to tear up. you look petrified.

after a few seconds of you staring absentmindedly, you’re crying. fat tears rolling down your face and dripping onto the table as you bite on your bottom lip to avoid sobbing. you’re eyebrows are drawn upwards and you can’t stop sniffling.

you don’t want to lose them, but you don’t want to tell them. ‘this sucks,’ you think.

both historia and ymir are taken aback at your tears and feel the guilt crawling up their shoulders. you’re not easy to push to tears, it’s how you’re able to be around ymir. whatever’s upsetting you, it must be really stressful.

“(name),” historia speaks softly and puts her hand over your’s, “i’m sorry ymir made you cry. we’re just worried about you, but that doesn’t excuse the way ymir reacted. do you want to talk about it?”

you let out a broken sob as your shoulder shake, “take me home. take me home please.”

“wh—ow!!” ymir is slapped hard by historia.

“are you sure that’s what you want? you know you can tell us anything, right?”

you nod and let out a hiccup. historia frowns but chooses not to say anything and starts digging in her purse for her wallet. she pulls out a fifty and puts it onto the table, pushing ymir gently to get her outside of the booth. you’re getting out of the booth, scrubbing your wet eyes and trying to hide from nifa.

“i’m gonna drive you back to your apartment, okay? ymir, can you get their stuff out of your car,” she gently holds onto your arm while ymir begrudgingly obeys.

you get in the passenger seat of her car, covering your face as you start crying harder. historia’s standing at the front of her car, talking about something with ymir. whatever it is, it’s upsetting the both of them and you can’t help but feel like they’re arguing about you.

they seem to come to a conclusion, seeing as historia gives ymir a kiss on her lips. she’s getting in the driver’s seat, handing over your bag full of textbooks and laptop.

when historia starts the car, her car starts playing a tennis song that makes you smile. she switches it to soft lofi music to help you feel just a bit calmer.

the drive is mostly quiet besides your sobbing and crying. historia’s holding one of your hands in silent support.

she feels guilty and confused. had ymir really upset you that bad? what are you so upset about? is it because of us?

historia loves you dearly; both as a cherished friend and as a lover. it was the same for ymir, but historia had told her that you might defriend them if they confessed. they don’t even know your thoughts on polyamory.

they’d rather keep your friendship then possibly ruining it.

before historia can say a goodbye, you’re slamming the car door and jogging up towards your apartment.

‘this sucks,’ you think again and a loud sob rocks through your body. you’re unlocking the door with shaky hands. you go to swing the door open only for it to bounce back right into your face because the fucking deadlock is on.

you fall onto your ass, fumbling to get onto your feet. out of all the times mikasa, your roommate, wants to have her girlfriend, annie, over, why does it have to be now. you sob as you bang your fist against the front door, yelling for mikasa to let you inside. you’re probably going to get a noise complaint, but you don’t really care.

when there’s no sign of either or mikasa or annie coming to the door, you realize that they must be knocked out. both of them are heavy sleepers and mikasa’s room is furthest from the door, there’s no chance they’re going to wake up.

you slam the door shut and the urge to puke is strong. you’re going to have to go over to historia and ymir’s place. you start crying even harder, starting to tug onto some of the strands of your hair. you sit on the ground against the wall, knees pressed to your chest as your hands cover your eyes again.

this whole day has been shit, starting when you hung out with ymir and historia before your geography class. they were so affectionate with on another and all you could do is watch in want.

you hear the clacking of heels getting closer and you assume it’s historia.

“(name),” it’s historia, “c’mon. i’ll take you back to my house.”

you sniffle and silently get back up onto your feet. your jeans are damp from the rain and the feeling of it sticking to your legs has you cringing. scratch that—your whole body was damp from the rain.

you’ll take a hot shower later, when mikasa isn’t dead asleep along with her girlfriend.

you find out you’re wrong about your previous statement and in 15 minutes, you find yourself undressing in ymir and historia’s bathroom. they told you to get in the shower, shoving a big shirt and underwear you’ve left over at their house into your arms. you know that they’re clean, ymir is forced to do laundry every sunday.

you stand under the shower faucet, silently enjoying the piping hot water falling against your skin. you’re done in a matter of ten minutes, toweling your hair and then brushing it. you gather your wet clothes after you unlock the bathroom door and push it open.

steam rolls out of the room when the door opens and some of it trails behind you as you walk to find ymir. she’s sitting on the couch, munching on a KIND bar and watching the show victorious—it’s her guilty pleasure. she perks up when she sees you though, taking the clothes out of your arms and whisking away towards the washing machine.

you sit down on the couch, slouching lazily. ymir and historia flop down next to you on both sides, little huffs of air falling from their mouths. ymir’s got her arm resting on the couch cushion near your shoulders and historia’s throwing an arm around your waist and snuggling her cheek into your shoulder.

historia opens her mouth, here it comes, “what’s wrong?”

you sigh and throw your head back against ymir’s arm, who just hits her knee against your own.

“i...,” you sigh again, “i can’t tell you.”

ymir rolls her eyes as she lets out a huge huff through her nose. she’s irritated.

“why not? why can’t you tell us? we just wanna help,” her eyebrows furrow when she starts to speak and the hand that isn’t on the couch is motioning to herself and historia.

you start crying again, “you can’t help me with this. and i just can’t tell you.”

historia peeks up at you and her eyebrows are bunched up in concern and confusion.

“why can’t you tell us? please just give us an actual reason, and we’ll back off. all we want to do is help you, so just give us a way that we can. we love you so much, we don’t want to see you upset any longer,” historia’s starting to tear up too, bottom lip sticking out as evidence.

“you guys don’t love me in the same way that i love you,” you sob without thinking, and you reach up to cover your face with your hand. ymir traps it with her own, interlocking her fingers with your’s.

“did... could you repeat that,” historia hiccups, taking ahold of your other hand.

“i love you guys. but not in the same way you love me. i want to kiss you, hold you, and do all that sappy stuff couples do with you guys, but you don’t see me like that,” you look down towards your lap while historia and ymir share a look.

ymir’s lanky hands are grabbing ahold of your cheek’s, thumbs running across your cheekbones then your brow bones. she’s staring at you, a bashful blush on her freckled cheeks.

before you ask what she’s doing, she’s giving you one of the softest kisses you’ve ever had in your entire life. you’re closing your eyes and scrunching up your eyebrows, you don’t want this moment to end.

the two of you stop the kiss when you feel historia climb into your lap, sitting on your thighs. you face towards her, slightly dazed from the amazing kiss you’ve just had with ymir. you briefly wonder if this is what it feels like for historia each time.

historia kisses you too. it’s gentle and a little more persistent as if she were trying to show you that she loves you back. her fingers are tangled with your own, using it to her advantage and gently holding them to the couch cushion.

she pulls away after another second, a light pink spreading across her tear stained face. you’re still dazed, is this real? once you go over everything that’s just happened, you jump.

“oh my god, why’d you two just kiss me?!” you’re freaking out, you’ve just overstepped boundaries, right?!

ymir kisses your cheek and says it bluntly, “we love you too. we’ve wanted to make the relationship a poly for a while... we thought you’d hate us though.”

your jaw drops and you whip your head towards ymir, “HUH?”

“we love you,” historia giggles, she’s rubbing her cheek against your chest now.

“oh.. okay. are you sure?” you hum, a huge and dorky smile coming up on your face after they both nod.

“you look stupid,” ymir snorts, “now can we watch victorious and snuggle?”

“before we do that, why did you try hooking me up with hitch,” you ask with a slight scowl.

“we thought it might help us get over you, but it didn’t work for a lot of reasons. you and hitch are good as friends, but not romance; at least that’s what you told us. and if anything, it just made us jealous and sad,” historia explains, tracing patterns with her finger into your stomach.

“that makes sense, i’m ready to watch victorious,” you pause, “wait, when are you taking me home?” ymir and historia stare at you blankly.

“you’re not going home.”

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk #historia x reader #ymir x reader #ymir x historia #ymir fritz #historia reiss

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lloydskywalkers · 3 years

Note

let me just start out by saying i love ever single one of your stories!!! i’m pretty new to the show and your works just add so much more feeling to everything and it’s sooo good!!! i don’t know if you ever do requests or not, so don’t bother with this if you’re busy!! but if you ever get a chance could you write smthg abt Jay and Kai? their friendship is so underrated but so good and i live for the moments in the show when Kai’s big brother instinct(tm) kicks in for him as well as Nya and Lloyd

aH thank you so much!! i’m so glad to hear that :D and this isn’t...exactly what you asked for, but Kai and Jay have this fun of dynamic that reminds me a lot of me and my brother, and i’ve been tossing around little bits of interaction between them for a while now, so i tried to make something coherent out of those :’D

Jay likes to think he’s pretty good at the whole compartmentalizing thing, for the most part. Mainly because he actually knows what it means, and it is not, for instance, locking your team up in a literal compartment while rushing off to fight the other compartment that is your resurrected homicidal father into submission.

“That was one time,” Lloyd will grumble, as if he’s only almost-died once. And then Jay will flinch, because that’s where his compartments come into play.

(Nadakhan gets one, Unagami gets another, the whole fun-times adoption reveal another, and everything else can get stuffed into the metaphorical attic since they won’t pay rent.)

Unfortunately, the attic is where the bad stuff lives.

Metaphorically.

If Jay had a nickel for every time he almost lost all of his friends, he’d have two nickels, plus another nickel for Cole falling into the fog, and another for Lloyd getting crushed by a roof, and another for Zane blowing up, and another for Nya in that awful dress with paling skin as her breathing stutters and the light in her eyes draining and —

And Jay is way, way too familiar with how it looks when his family dies, and all the nickels in the world won’t help that.

So while Jay likes to think he’s pretty good at compartmentalizing, he also thinks he’s got a valid excuse for the way he reacts when Lloyd goes down in the fight that afternoon. Sure, some vague part of his mind remembers that they’ve got a plan they’re running, and Lloyd should easily be able to handle a tiny little stumble — but Jay’s mind is stuck in glaring oranges and health bars, the unsteady gasping noise Lloyd had made before he went down, dissolving into digitized cubes just like everyone else, and Jay—

Jay can’t handle that, compartments or not, so he clears the space between them in a heartbeat just in time to take the bullet that comes hurtling Lloyd’s way.

It’d probably be a very noble and touching scene, if one) Jay didn’t make a hideous squeaking noise when it hit because bullets hurt, and two) the bullet would have missed Lloyd by a good two feet anyways.

Ah well, he thinks, as everything devolves into panicked yelling. It’s the thought that counts.

Except thoughts do not count when Kai is involved, apparently. Or any of the rest of the team, for that matter.

“What is wrong with you?” Kai hisses right in his face, eyes wild and sparking. “I was covering Lloyd, what were you doing?”

“Filling in for you, obviously,” Jay retorts. He has an excellent followup to that, real snappy and all, except that’s the moment Kai’s hand clamps down on the bullet wound in his arm to stop the bleeding, and Jay ends up stifling a shriek instead.

Great, he thinks, fighting back stinging tears of pain as he tries not to take Kai’s apparent wrath too personally. At least Cole looks worried, along the the rest of the team, who are dutifully concerned for his wellbeing like proper teammates should be.

“He’s going to need the hospital,” Zane informs them, his voice a lot steadier and calmer than his words make Jay feel. Zane’s eyebrows furrow as he studies his arm. “Stitches, probably.”

Jay swallows, trying not to curse. There’s a sharp scream as Nya finishes taking out another attacker just beyond them, and Jay figures that’s good enough.

“Okay,” Lloyd says, squeezing Jay’s wrist briefly. Either in comfort about the stitches or thanks for trying to cover him, Jay’s not sure. It’s a nice gesture, nonetheless. “Kai, Cole, can you get him there while we finish up? Sooner the better.”

Cole gives a sharp nod, and offers to take Jay from where Kai’s got him in a death grip. Kai shakes his head, and Jay’s stomach sinks. Sure enough, as soon as they’re clear of the scene, Kai starts going off.

“What did you mean, ‘filling in for me’,” he grinds through his teeth, clearly not about to let this go.

Jay bristles in response at his tone. “I meant,” he bites out, through a hot flare of pain in his arm. Kai’s always merciless with the bandages, even when he’s not in a mood. “That you weren’t there. So I covered.”

He should leave it at that, but Jay’s in a foul enough mood to finish with a condescending, “You’re welcome.”

Kai’s expression grows thunderous. “You didn’t need to. I was right there, you shouldn’t have — you weren’t needed, you should’ve held back.”

Jay feels his chest go tight. His head is clouding with anger, and the pain in his arm isn’t helping, but — ‘you weren’t needed’? Kai really didn’t skimp on the jerk juice this morning, did he.

“Oh, like you could’ve done so much better,” Jay glares. “Lloyd would’ve been toast by the time you got to him.”

“I could’ve made it!”

“Yeah right—”

“I would have, and I wouldn’t have gotten hit!” Kai snarls back. Something in Jay snaps. Or maybe it’s just the steadily increasing blood loss, but of all the nerve—

“Well you didn’t, ‘cause you weren’t there!” he snaps back. “You were too slow, which is real funny since your brain is too!”

It’s not his best comeback, he’ll admit, but Kai looks as if he’s about to light him on fire, if he weren’t stuck carrying Jay like the cover of some awful romance novel, blood getting all over his uniform as they both scream at each other. Maybe Jay will get lucky, and Kai will combust, and they’ll both go up in flames before they can remember that Cole is right there watching them.

“Cut it out, now!”

Oops, too late. For all the incensed authority in Cole’s voice, there’s still a traitorous falter that lets them both know they’ve screwed up. They fall silent, the atmosphere heavy with the lingering tension and new sense of guilt.

And the disgusting sound of Jay’s blood leaking through the makeshift bandage and hitting the ground, truly revolting, he hates blood.

“Just…no more. Please, shut up until we’re at the hospital.” Cole marches forward, snatches Jay from Kai’s arms, and proceeds to beat the fastest route to the hospital at a militant pace.

Jay still looks like some helpless romance cover heroine, dangling from Cole’s arms like he is. It occurs to him that he doesn’t even need to be carried — it’s his arm that’s hurt, he can still walk—

But any protests die rapidly at the look on Cole’s face. And at least this way, Jay thinks sullenly, he can fixedly ignore Kai.

Then again, Kai’s got a killer glare, and Jay’s always been garbage at ignoring people when his feelings are hurt.

* * * * * * * *

Despite the fuss everyone makes, Jay’s arm really isn’t that bad. They hook him up with some pretty sweet meds so he remembers zero of the actual arm-fixing, and he wakes up just in time to complain about being held in the hospital for ‘observation’ or whatever.

“It’s to make sure there’s no infection, or that you don’t rip your stitches out,” Nya tells him pointedly. Jay cringes under the look she gives him at that last part. Geez. You get kicked in the stitches one time after sneaking out early and suddenly no one’s got any faith in you. Typical.

“Why couldn’t we have just gone to medbay,” Jay grumbles. “Pixal gives way better stitches than this, anyways.”

“Gun wounds get hospitals,” Nya reminds him. “And it’s not fair to put that kind of pressure on Pix when we can avoid it.”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

Nya glares at him. “It most certainly was that bad.”

“Oh, so when you get your arm crushed by a car, it’s fine,” Jay glares back. “But when I get a tiny little bullet nick, it’s that bad.”

Nya rolls her eyes, ignoring him. “Just think of it this way,” she says. “Now you have a little more time before Lloyd starts weeping apologies all over you.”

“Aw, no,” Jay groans, leaning back in the hospital bed. “Tell me he’s not blaming himself, Nya.”

“I think we had a promise about not lying to each other, or something,” Nya says, sympathetically. She winces. “Pretty sure he made the connection, too.”

Jay frowns. “What connection?”

Nya shifts, her eyes darting from side to side. “The, uh, the whole…Prime Empire, thing.”

Jay stares at her for a beat, trying to reconcile his blatant shock with the roiling nausea at the mention in his stomach. Nya looking at him all kind and sympathetically isn’t helping, either, because she might have made it down to the final two, but she was never all alone, and the reminder that she’d have been fine if Jay hadn’t gotten her killed twice is—

Bad. Real bad, not good, zero out of ten stars. Maybe he can take a bullet for Nya, next, and that’ll — that’ll help things, maybe. Equivalent exchange? Restitution? Some kind of fancy word that means Jay swears he’s gonna make it up.

In the meantime, he smothers the rising sickness in his throat and sinks lower into the bed, sulking. “It’s too easy to recognize trauma in this team.”

“I hear you,” Nya sighs, wearily. She nudges his shoulder, rising from her seat near the bed. “Speaking of. Someone’s got something they want to say to you.”

It takes Jay a second, but his eyes widen as Nya heads for the door. “Wait, wait wait wait, don’t you dare—”

“Love you,” Nya says cheekily, before taking her merry leave of the room. There’s a brief scuffle from outside, and the sound of Kai yelping, before Nya shoves him through the door, slamming it shut behind him with a damning click.

For a second, Jay’s tempted to hit the ‘call nurse’ button as hard as he can, in some desperate attempt to escape. Then he gets a good look at Kai, who’s turned a pale, queasy color that frankly looks awful on him, which is saying a lot ‘cause there isn’t much that doesn’t look good on Kai, but the expression he has on now—

Aw, man, now Jay’s feeling guilty and it isn’t even his fault. Stupid moral conscience center, he curses himself.

“So, uh…” he begins, because far be it from him to let this kind of awkward silence stretch on any longer. “Nice, ah, weather we’re having?”

Kai doesn’t respond, staring fixedly at the floor, and Jay sizes up the ‘call nurse’ button again. Just for the both of their sakes, of course.

But then Kai takes a deep breath, blows it out, and rocks back on his heels, fiddling with his hands. “I, um. I’m sorry.”

Jay’s jaw drops open. Which is probably an overdramatic move, all things considered, but unless he’s suddenly lost the ability to understand words, Kai just apologized to him.

Kai apologized. To him.

It’s not that Kai apologizing is some great big deal — Kai might have his pride, but he’s also an intuitive and good-hearted person who knows when he’s messed up. But to him?

Jay knows how he and Kai work. Kai knows how he and Jay work, and he’s breaking the rules. Because Kai and Jay don’t apologize to each other. Unless it’s some awkward expression of sympathy, they’ve never needed to. They fight dirty, aim for each other’s kneecaps, swear eternal vengeance and hatred at each other before storming off, then an hour later Jay’s bounding into Kai’s room to show him dumb meme videos and neither of them even remember what they were fighting about.

Acknowledging said fight with something as gushy as apologizing is not only useless since they both forget what they’re apologizing for anyways, but also useless because it’ll take too much time, and counterproductive on top, because it’ll most likely end in another fight about who apologized better. So for Kai to walk in and say sorry—

“Oh no, who did you kill?” Jay says, paling.

Kai spears him with a look, but it’s so pathetically watered-down and miserable that Jay forgets to glare back.

“Sorry, sorry,” Jay mutters. “I just—”

“No, no, I’m the one who’s sorry,” Kai interrupts. He hesitates, then sighs. “But that’s fair. I — I was unfair. To you, back there. Like, really unfair, in a bad way, ‘cause you were shot and I know you meant well, but you—”

Kai gestures wildly with his hands, his stream of words cutting off. Jay is left to stare open-mouthed at him again. Babbling like this is Jay’s thing. Kai is breaking all the rules today, huh.

“I just…” Kai trails off, ducking his head. “I don’t like watching you guys get hurt. I don’t — I don’t like watching you get hurt. And I get scared, but it comes out angry, and then I make a mess of things so I’m — sorry. Really sorry, for biting your head off.”

He exhales, a little shaky, fingers balled up in tight fists as his head hangs low, refusing to meet Jay’s eyes. Something softens in Jay’s chest, like gooey melting butter or something else equally pathetic. But it’s rare that Kai vocalizes this stuff, despite the fact that Jay knows he cares, and it’s nice to hear it, so he figures he’s entitled to all the butter he wants.

Jay’s own gaze falters, and the something starts to twist. He bites his lip, tugging half-heartedly at the bandages around his arm.

“Well,” he pauses, thinking of the way his brain had shifted to autopilot when he’d watched Lloyd falter, the razor-sharp shard of terror that always splinters through him when any of their teammates come too close to the awful images of death left in his head. He swallows. “I guess I don’t really have any room to talk,” he murmurs. “Be pretty dumb if I blamed you for that.”

He’s preparing to sink back into his own well of self-pity and loathing, resigned to spending the next few hours until they check him out of the hospital replaying bad memories in his head, when Kai’s next to him all of the sudden, shoving him over on the hospital bed.

“Hey, hey, what’s the big idea—”

“Move, c’mon. You don’t need that much room, you’re a stick,” Kai grumbles, before grinning brightly in success as Jay makes him space. The contrast in expression is enough to startle Jay into silence, and Kai takes advantage. “I know that look. But you already got shot, so you gotta cheer up now.”

“So you’re forcing me into cheerfulness by stealing my hospital bed,” Jay scowls, but the sting is lost in the sudden surge of affection as Kai elbows his way on the bed with him, a steady warmth by his side.

“I’m gifting you my presence, you should be celebrating,” Kai huffs, as he pulls his phone out. “Now stop looking so sad and watch this video I got of a bunch’a geese chasing Zane at the park the other day.”

“You’re such a jerk,” Jay says, but he’s already snickering as he leans his head against Kai’s shoulder to get a better look.

He’s forgotten to tell Kai he forgives him, but like most things between them — Jay doesn’t really need to say it out loud.

#answered #ninjago #my fic #kai smith #jay walker #tumblr pls format right for once #Anonymous

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asthmark · 4 years

Text

❝ let’s dance ❞ s.jh

synopsis → “i’m gonna marry you.”

request → “How about Johnny fluff partying time and the concept theme is the 80s” — @heart-bleeding-autism-angel

word count → 2.5k

a/n → the amount of googling i did for this is scary .. and i still know literally nothing abt the 80’s LOL anyway the title is my fav david bowie song that happened to be released in ‘83 and it kind of fits the the fic so,,, cool :-)

the moonlight shines through your window, casting it’s heavenly glow on your face. despite the late hour, it illuminates your entire room enough that you can read the time off the clock hanging on your wall.

11:55 p.m.

if they decide to be on time, your friends should be arriving in five minutes.

you retreat from your windowsill to prepare yourself. you stop in front of your closet, staring at the array of clothing. it takes you a couple moments to pick something you liked. you, of course, wanted to impress johnny, the self proclaimed fashion evaluator, but there was no better feeling than knowing you looked good.

you settle on a cozy turtleneck and your favorite mini skirt. then you pull on a pair of tube socks and slip on your prized white sneakers. for the final touch, you slide on a thin buckle belt through the loops of your skirt to tie it all together.

you smile satisfactorily at your reflection in the mirror and what was sure to be your best outfit yet. besides being well-put together, it felt comfortable enough to move around in and you knew you would surely be doing much moving that night.

once the clock strikes midnight, you notice light flash into your room. since it’s brighter than that of the moon, you know exactly who must be behind it. even if you didn’t, the hushed chatter and giggling from outside your window gives it away. you peer down into your backyard to find sicheng and jaehyun standing there, flashlights in hand and aimed directly into your bedroom.

you hastily wave your hands at them, your face twisted with worry. they wave back at you with goofy smiles on their faces, oblivious to your concern.

“cut the lights!” you hiss as silently as you can.

they finally seem to get the hint and click them off. jaehyun shouts back, “sorry!” accompanied by a laugh sicheng has failed to contain. you wince at their volume. there was no keeping them quiet so you decide your only option is to move as fast as you possibly can.

you carefully push one leg out of your window. it dangles above the roof of the front porch and you slowly lower it onto the tile. once you’ve successfully planted half of yourself on the roof, you bring your other leg down. this action is followed by a slight creek but you don’t even bother hesitating. you crouch down to the edge of the house and repeat the previous steps, this time landing on the front steps of your porch.

“that was smooth!” jaehyun exclaims in awe.

you bring a finger to your lips but still can’t help but smile at the praise.

“you’re like a ninja,” adds sicheng. “or a cat.” he pauses, deep in thought, before concluding, “you’re a ninja cat.”

you raise a brow. “you’ve both been drinking, haven't you?”

“no.”

“yes.”

“i’m gonna have to believe jae on this one,” you say, observing the way sicheng’s eyelids droop and he slurs his words. “you couldn’t have waited ‘til we got to the club?”

he whines like a child. “i was thirsty!”

you clamp your hand over his mouth and scold him. “why do you feel the need to be so loud? do you want me to get caught?”

jaehyun hiccups. “aren’t you glad i’m an introvert? i’ll never get you in trouble.”

you laugh dryly. “sure, you’re all introverted until you find some random chick to grind on.”

he pouts. “let me have fun.”

“it’s fun until you spill your drink on her and i have to help clean—oh come on, sicheng, did you just lick me?” you remove your hand from his mouth only to find a big smile on his lips.

“perhaps.”

“god, let’s just go. where’s johnny parked?”

“end of the street.”

you go in said direction with your two friends trailing behind you, messing around all the while. the three of you only stop when you catch sight of johnny’s shiny black convertible. you approach the vehicle and when he notices you, he smiles and shoots you a wink.

“you’re such a flirt,” you comment, opening the door to the passenger's seat.

he shrugs. “but you still fell in love with me so i’d say it’s worked out pretty well up until this point.”

you’re about to respond when jaehyun interrupts. “hey, i wanted to ride shotgun!”

“me too!” agrees sicheng. “y/n always gets it!”

johnny glares at the pair through the rear view mirror. “and that’s how i like it so get in the backseat or you’re walking.”

they mumble what you assume are complaints yet still get in the car.

johnny revs up the engine but before you go anywhere he makes an announcement. “and if either of you are going to vomit again, all i ask is that you don’t do it in here. my dad just bought me this bad boy.”

a chuckle escapes your lips.

“what are you laughing about over there?”

you lean back against the headrest, smile still present. “we literally have two kids.”

“basically. but hey, there’s no one else i’d rather babysit two grown men with than you.”

“stop, i’m blushing,” you deadpan.

johnny’s shoulders shake with laughter at your sarcasm. “seriously, though! you really know how to take care of someone. one day, if i’m lucky enough, i’ll be able to see that up close.”

you know exactly what he means by that last statement—he was thinking of a future with you. the last thing you want to do is burst his bubble but you knew how your parents felt about your relationship. they thought you could do better than ‘some football player from your school’. they had friends with young, stuck up sons who, according to them, were more fit for you. despite being told countless times how happy johnny made you, they paid you no mind.

you nod, sincerely. “i hope so.”

he places his hand on your thigh, rubbing reassuring circles into your skin. you stay like that for the entire drive.

once you finally reach your destination, you leave all doubt and anxiety surrounding your relationship with johnny in the car along with any other negativity. the flashing lights and loud music you could hear even from outside the club excites you and you’re left with no choice but to discard all of your worries. you never got tired of seeing the glowing, neon sign letting you know that you had arrived at the hottest hang out spot there was—the neo zone.

as soon as you step inside, sicheng’s face contorts in displeasure. “i’m, uh, going to the bathroom.” he carelessly pushes past strangers, clutching his stomach.

you notice jaehyun has disappeared as well. before you can ask, you spot him on the dance floor, inserting himself in some line dance he obviously isn’t familiar with. his limbs move awkwardly and completely out of sync with the rest of the group. he recieves multiple strange looks and you can’t help but cringe.

“where did we go wrong with them?”

johnny’s laugh can hardly be heard over the booming bass of a song. “couldn’t tell you that, sugar. let’s just hope the next ones come out better.”

there he goes again, talking about your oh-so-promising future. you were still unsure if you would be able to grant johnny the picture perfect life he constantly spoke about. whenever he referenced it, you felt slightly guilty.

instead of acknowledging his comment, you glance around, looking anywhere but him. “want to get a drink?”

he simply nods, placing his hand in the small of your back as you weave your way through the crowd to the bar.

he leans on the counter and orders, “one long island iced tea, please.”

“you know my order?” you ask, pleasantly surprised.

“sweetheart, you get it everytime we come here. and that’s often.”

you still beam at him. “it’s still nice. you know, that you notice those things.”

“everything about you is worth noticing. besides, what kind of boyfriend would i be if i didn’t?”

you press a quick kiss to his cheek to show him how grateful you are.

“you really have to work on your aim because you completely missed your target that time.” he teasingly taps his lips.

you roll your eyes with a giggle. “never satisfied, are you, suh?”

“you owe me, just sayin’.”

“oh yeah?”

“totally! i let you sit shotgun!”

“i was the only thing standing in the way of sicheng throwing up all over your dashboard, you should be thanking me!”

johnny presses a kiss to your lips. it’s so unexpected yet enjoyable that you can’t stop your eyes from fluttering shut in bliss. he only pulls away to take a breath of air.

he licks his lips. “how was that?”

you brush imaginary dust off your skirt. “probably the best ‘thank you’ i’ve ever received.”

“says you. i can't get enough of those lips of yours.”

you fiddle with your belt. “nobody's stopping you from getting your fill.”

“you’re going to be the death of me, young lady.”

seconds later, the bartender slides you your drink. “here’s your drink, young lady.” he gives johnny a knowing smile and not-so-subtle thumbs up. “what a pretty little thing you got there.”

you know his words aren’t meant for your ears so you avert your eyes and take small sips of your drink.

“thank you, sir. i couldn’t agree more.”

“you know, me and my wife met in this club. just like you two.”

“we’ve actually known each other for a couple years.”

the man’s eyes widen in surprise. “well, look at you. already ahead of the game. you love her?”

johnny doesn’t hesitate to nod. “very much. the only issue is her folks don’t seem to be too crazy about me. they have a long list of suitors, myself excluded.”

you frown and trace the rim of your glass. that never got any easier for you to hear.

the man nods, understandingly. “i see. well, in that case, you might have to wait. you said you love her and until you get to be together—which you will—keep loving her. that’ll make the time you spend waiting go by like this.” he snaps his fingers to prove his point.

johnny nods, a genuine smile appearing on his face. “i appreciate the advice. thank you.”

the bartender gives him a curt nod and goes back to tending to the other demanding customers.

before johnny gets a chance to say anything, you ask, “do you wanna dance with me?”

his grin widens. “always.”

you take his hand in yours and lead him to the dance floor. it’s full, as always, multiple bodies pressed up against each other. you waste no time joining in.

your hands end up on his broad shoulders, fingers toying with the hair on the nape of his neck and his grip ends up on your hips. the songs played at club neo zone always had a strong bass and energetic vibe so you both match that rhythm, moving to the intense heartbeat of the music. you gaze up at johnny, admiring his good looks even under the glow of the disco lights that colored him shades of bright pink, blue and green.

“what are you looking at, pretty girl?”

“just your face. i like it.”

he hums. “mm, i’m glad. i do too.”

“like my face?”

“no, mine.”

you shove his shoulder, playfully.

he chuckles. “you know i’m joking. you’re the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen.”

you suddenly find your shoes to be very interesting and stare down at them, smiling sheepishly.

“c’mon, don’t get all shy on me now.”

you giggle. “quit it.”

he glides his hands up and down your sides. “i’m serious, darling. it must’ve taken all my luck to get you.”

“i could say the same thing. there’s no one i’d rather be with than you, john.”

his dimples appear at the compliment and he goes in for a bear-like hug. he cradles your shoulders and rests his chin on top of your head as both you sway.

“i’m gonna marry you.”

you’re not sure what about this statement catches you most off guard. maybe it’s the way that there’s no teasing tone in his voice or perhaps the fact that he has decided to say this in the middle of the dance floor, of all places.

you catch your lower lip in between your teeth. “i’m sorry we have to wait.”

“i’ll wait forever, babygirl, if that’s what it takes. and so what if your parents don’t want that. if one day you’ll let me wake up next to you and have a family with you, i’ll be happy.”

you feel butterflies fluttering in your stomach at his sweet words. “i can't wait.”

with the hope of a future together, you and johnny happily dance the rest of the night away. once the party dies down and the crowd shrinks with every song that passes, your bodies are left sweaty and tired. you agree it’s time to go home.

you spot jaehyun in the back of the club and it takes a lot of effort to drag him off his latest girl interest. he blows her kisses as you yank him away, promising her a phone call in the morning. you’re pretty sure he’s lying.

sicheng is found passed out in the restroom, snoring heavily.

“has he been here this whole time?” you ask with a grunt as you attempt to hoist him up.

johnny shrugs as he helps you lift. “i find it's better to not ask questions.”

you nod in agreement. “fair.”

the car ride is silent mostly thanks to sicheng being knocked out. jaehyun sits quietly as well, staring out the window. johnny decides to drop them off first. you stop in front of the jung residence. as you watch the brunette struggle to open the door with one hand and hold sicheng’s unconscious figure in the other, you can’t help but wonder, “is it really a good idea to leave him with jae? i mean, that’s like telling a toddler to look after an infant.”

“if i left him at his house i’m pretty sure his old man would ground him for the rest of his life. jae’s folks are always out of town.”

with that reassurance, you drive off, your next destination being your house. johnny parks exactly where he did at the beginning of the night, just to be safe.

he rests his hands on the steering wheel. “want me to walk you?”

you shake your head. “that’s alright. if i get caught, i’d rather it not be with you. i’d never hear the end of it.”

“yeah, i get it. one day, though, we won’t have to worry about it.” as if to promise you his words are true, he hands you his letterman jacket. it was his prized possession and he was never seen without it. “here, take this. wear it when i can't be with you.”

you nod, clutching the clothing item close to your chest. “i will.”

he leans over as far as his seatbelt allows him to give you the last kiss of the night. it ends too fast for the both of you. you exit his car and walk down the sidewalk towards your house.

johnny watches you through his rear view mirror and smiles to himself when he catches you pull on his jacket.

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zontiky · 3 years

Text

okay so i tried to save this ask as a draft and it got deleted because tumblr is just such a functional website like that <3 but the prompt was “the hargreeves as ghosts in the apocalypse with five” or something like that i’m going to scream

this is SUPER long so i’m putting it under the cut hfkjsd

pre-five: the hargreeves siblings are dead. wait i feel a drabble coming on ooh

The Hargreeves siblings are dead.

Ben isn’t very aware of this at first. He’s been dead since 2006 -- he’s quite used to it, by now. What he is aware of, first, is light. Blinding white light. And Vanya, in the middle of it. He doesn’t close his eyes because he can’t feel pain, but if he could he thinks she would have made him blind. There’s light, and heat, and power, and then he closes his eyes anyway because the ceiling is collapsing around him and it’s instinctual.

When he opens them again he sees ash. Ash -- and Klaus.

He’s gotten used to Klaus, too. Klaus has a memorable sort of face; even if he didn’t, Ben has seen it every single day for almost twenty years. He doesn’t know if it’s actually been twenty years, for him. He doesn’t know how time moves for ghosts. Klaus has assured him it moves the same as it does for the living. Ben isn’t sure Klaus, stoned out of his mind, bleeding sluggishly from his arm, knew what he was talking about.

Anyway.

Klaus.

He’s wearing the coat he’s been flaunting around for the past week. His shirt is see-through, with little stars on it, like a pale imitation of the sky. Ben remembers his pants had laces on them, he’s sure they did not a minute ago, before the brightness that threatened to wipe out his very soul -- his soul is all he has left, really. His gaze drifts down anyway, to check.

Yes. Klaus’ pants have laces up the sides.

“No,” Ben says. Klaus is laying in a heap on the ground, his fingers curled like his tendons have been cut.

His lips feel numb because they always feel numb. Because Ben can’t feel at all. He takes a step. “No,” he says again, louder, surer. “No!”

Klaus looks up at him. His makeup is smudged, like it tends to be. His lips are bitten raw, like they tend to be. His hair is a mess, like it tends to be, and like it will be, always, because Klaus isn’t breathing.

Klaus is lying in a heap on the ground. Klaus is standing above his own body. Klaus is reaching for Ben like he’s hoping to touch him for the first time in years. Just when Klaus’ cold, dead, fingers brush his face, a voice from behind says, so quietly, dripping with disbelief: “Ben?”

Ben shuts his eyes and wishes desperately he could cry.

He feels a hand on his shoulder, for the first time in so, so long, but he also doesn’t feel it at all. He feels-but-doesn’t-feel someone turn him around, until they are saying, “Ben? Ben!” and he has no choice but to open his eyes and face the music.

Diego is gripping his shoulders like he is a dying man and Ben is the answer. Behind him, Luther and Allison watch them, stunned silent. Allison’s hands are pressed to her mouth. She looks like she wants to cry.

And Vanya. Little Vanya, painted white. Her head is hung as her shoulders shake with the weight of the destruction she has so inevitably caused. (Ben would say he always knew she was destined for great things -- but he can’t, because he didn’t.) (Nobody ever said great things had to be good.)

The Hargreeves siblings are dead. Their bodies are strewn across what is left of their childhood home, smouldering and burning, and Ben is very aware of that fact.

righto anyway. so they have an emotional reunion but its also kind of bitter? id have to actually write this for it to make sense so lets skip it for now lol

five shows up

he cannot see them obviously bc theyre all ghosts

god if i did write this it would be such a monster of a fic and would take me like 2 years to finish i already know fhkjdsk

somehow ?? they manage to influence the world around them maybe? idk maybe now that klaus is dead hes sober

or maybe hes high for all eternity?

for the purposes of this au lets say he died sober or in the late stages of withdrawal, and bc ghosts cant feel pain in action hes sober

so EVENTUALLY they figure out how to corporealize bc klaus is like blam wham ghost powers

asdlfk that sounds so stupid im sorry

he would say that tho imho,,, it sounds like something hed say,,,

if i DID write this it would be alternating povs also,,,

ok so out of all of them klaus and ben have the most experience homeless

and while being stuck in an apocalypse is not at all the same thing as being homeless it does help to have some knowledge

five doesnt eat the twinkie!! good for him

dammit okay. theres 2 options we can take here. in the comics five couldnt get back bc he fucked up his math and spent 15 years doing the wrong thing, but if u apply that here, with 6 other ppl checking his work this could be avoided and they end up skipping the whole assassin shtick and just hopping straight back to 2019, ready to prevent the apocalypse

OR five still gets hired for the commission but the sibs are tagging along

i think bc five isnt completely alone in this au unfortunately dolores doesnt exist :((

for each other the 2 paths tho theres also options?? bc they (ghosts) can go back in time and inhabit their past selves bodies? OR they could just,,, cease to exist

IM JUST NOW REALIZING HOW MANY PATHS THIS COULD TAKE,, AAH FUCK

okay gonna split this into parts. this is gonna be so long brace yourselves.

1) they go back in time because math checking and the ghosts swap out for their past selves

after multiple years of being stuck in an apocalypse together i think they would learn to get along with each other. like at least a little bit

which would make it easier for them to prevent the apocalypse

bc theyd:

trust each other more

already know abt the apocalypse and not have to wait for five to grace them all with his knowledge

are working as a team from the very beginning

have open lines of communication

yeah uh. so there

vanya is also already aware of her powers so the whole harold goading her into turning against her family and snapping to wipe out all life on earth thing? yeah that doesnt happen

oh and harold wouldn’t know how to do that in the first place because klaus wouldn’t throw out reggie’s journal! this solves so many problems wtf

there’s still commission issues bc they (and by they i mean five) are on the commission’s radar

so there’s still dope fight scenes sdlkfd pinky promise

okay idk. they stop the apocalypse and everything is okay the end hfkjd

2) they fix the math but only five can go back and the ghosts cease to exist

this is just sad! it would be sad okay! im sad! lets move on

subset of the past one: ben CAN go back with five because he was already dead and time travel affects them differently or something idk

aaaaaa

five & ben dynamic duo would be dope as shit BUT five would not be able to see him... so they use klaus as a middleman fjsdsfd

is there 2 bens? is one ben deleted in favor of the time-traveling ben? i dont know! i dont know my brain is melting

either way shit is happening yall!! obviously klaus is clued in, directly or indirectly it doesnt matter but he is on board the ‘don’t let the entire world end in flames’ train

3) they join the commission and then when five goes back in time they all go back

this is fun because now five is a highly trained assassin who is also lowkey a complete marshmallow for his siblings and once again TEAMWORK WOO

basically the first path but now five has a gun fhsdjk

4) they join the commission but five has to leave them behind and they cease to exist

five with a gun but hes sad now

i didnt go into how much losing his siblings would suck in the prev path but like. it would suck so much. he’s already lost them once if you think about it when he time traveled the first time and yeah he found the adult ghost versions but,, its different

and now suddenly hes stuck with these strange adult versions of the people he knows and he KNOWS them but also he doesnt? at all? they dont have all the years of shared experiences together? and theyre all grown up from the first ‘set’ of siblings he had which for five was like 40+ years ago??

SCREAMS

i have losing my mind disease (self-diagnosed)

subset: five has to leave them behind but they still exist because the commission is out-of-time kind of? idk but they’re still floating around somewhere and come back to impact the plot later or something

yeah idk. literally just wrote them down bc i didnt want them to die^2 hfkjwehd

subset: they still exist but instead of being just Somewhere they’re specifically at the assassination of JFK onwards because thats where five left them and they either go on ghosting and make an appearance in s2 OR they cease because them-wise they havent died yet but that doesnt make sense because ghosts can time travel so nevermind

i dont have the brain energy left to explore this one aaaa

okay jesus christ i think that’s all

I DON’T KNOW. i don’t know. i might write some more of this because honestly it is a very fine flavor of angst + hurt/comfort <3

#didnt proofread this at all 💀 fhsdfks #tua #the umbrella academy #pls dont let this flop i spent like an hour on it hfjksd #aus #team zero #ben hargreeves #wip #I GUESS #misc #ghosting au

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thetomorrowshow · 3 years

Text

a jig in plaited time

Happy holidays, @under-the-blue-moonlight ! I really enjoyed writing up some intrulogical content for you (and this may actually get additional chapters lol, I’m really happy with it).

Here is your @sanderssidesgiftxchange gift!

ships: Intrulogical, background Royality

cw: anxiety, intrusive thoughts, panic attack, mannequins, mentions of food

Why was Remus at the mall?

That was a simple question, with a just as simple answer. He was at the mall for a suit and tie, one he needed for his brother's wedding. It needed to be “salmon” or whatever, with a blue tie.

A much less simple answer was to the next question.

Why was Remus at the mall on Black Friday?

In all honesty, Remus hadn't known about Black Friday until he arrived. He hadn't really had a good feeling about it on the way here, but he'd paid no mind to his instincts. He didn't often have a good feeling about anything. There had been far too many cars for this time of morning on a weekday. What had really tipped him off, though, was the huge sign in the window of Nordstrom's.

'BLACK FRIDAY SALE!'

Even at that point he wasn't entirely sure what that meant. It became far more clear when he entered the building to find it absolutely packed. Well, there could be an upside to this. Maybe there would be a sale on the suit he needed.

Remus hadn't been this close to someone since he was in the womb, and he could not say that he was very comfortable with it. Remus didn't care much for close spaces and touching people, he hadn't since middle school. It just made him feel sort of icky.

As soon as possible, he ducked out of Nordstrom's, only to find that the rest of the mall was in a similar condition. JC Penney actually looked worse. Normally when Remus was feeling overwhelmed, he'd sidle into Hot Topic or somewhere else with obnoxiously loud music. By drowning his feelings in the noise, he generally was able to recollect himself. The mall was certainly loud, but not in a good way at all. Even if he tried to find someplace with music, he wouldn't be able to enjoy it with all these people.

Remus was stressed. But he needed this suit, seeing as his brother's wedding was literally tomorrow. Why did he leave it this late? Well, Remus knew he was nothing if not a master procrastinator. He also knew he couldn’t be the only one.

Remus waded his way through the crowd to a relatively people-free corner and wiggled his phone out of the pockets of his definitely too-small jeans (not that he'd admit they were too small out loud—his brother had told him they were on every occasion he wore them) and texted the wedding group chat.

Remus: hey im at the mall. anything yall need?

Robro: Why are you at the mall on black friday?

Patty-Cake: ooh can you get me a pair of sunglasses? Mine broke last week

Remus: sure. stuff for wedding?

Robro: idk. Let me ask mom

Remus shoved his phone back in his pocket, then extracted it again as it buzzed a moment later.

Robro: Yeah mom says get some classy decor or something

Ant: I don't think remus knows what classy means

Remus: shut up i got this

Toby: wait what's going on? It's like 10am why are you all awake

Robro: idk if you knew this tobes but I'm getting married tomorrow

Toby: shut up man

Ant: even Remy knows

Sleep: even i know loser

Remus: toby do u need help

Toby: I hate it heeere

Patty-Cake: Aw Toby that isn't very nice! And good morning everyone!

Robro: hello sunshine!! <3

Sleep: i need you both to not start that

Remus: get a room dorks

Okay, classy decor. Sunglasses for the groom. Pink suit. Blue tie. Probably some dress shoes. A wedding present. Dress socks too. Did Remus need to have a tie pin? He'd ask later. Napkins, definitely. No one ever had enough napkins at events. Did he need to have a pocket handkerchief?

Remus checked the list of what his suit needed that Roman had sent him a month or two ago. Yes, a blue pocket square. This was a lot.

Remus swallowed back his sudden panic and took a few deep breaths, jamming his still-buzzing phone back into his pocket. He could do this. Sunglasses first, there was a Sunglasses Hut within eyesight. All he had to do was fight through the crowd.

He reached the kiosk with few incidents and surveyed the sleek glasses for five minutes before seeing a pair that were shaped like a cartoon frog. Patton would love those. And if he didn't, then Remus just got a neat pair of sunglasses! He purchased the glasses and moved on to the next place to conquer.

By the time Remus was back at Nordstrom's, he was completely out of energy. Nordstrom's had two levels, and so much stuff, and so many people. He still had to get the suit and socks, and the wedding present. Maybe it seemed like he hadn't done much, but he had actually done a lot, considering how busy the mall was. He'd barely escaped a fistfight outside of the electronics store. The fact that he'd been able to get shoes and so-called 'classy decor' and napkins? Remus was pretty proud, all things considered.

Nordstrom's was even busier than when he left, which was certainly distressing. Remus couldn't even see any clothes. Was that a mannequin or a really tall lady? Was that the escalator, or a bunch of people climbing on top of each other?

What if I set off a bomb right here? Would the whole tower fall down, the ones on top not actually hurt until they hit the ground?

Remus shook off the intrusive thought. This was getting bad. It was already almost one—that meant that not only was he stressed, but he was getting hungry. His thoughts would continue to devolve until he got out of here and got some food.

I could eat that man! That would certainly clear the place out, and I'm sure he's delicious!

Remus groaned. He needed to sit down, but there were no seats free anywhere. He hefted his bags higher on his shoulders and forged on. He had to get this suit, or else the wedding would be ruined. The man in question (who was fairly attractive) bumped him, and Remus had to close his eyes to fight his brain. This was getting out of hand.

There was a little square cut out in the wall where a headless mannequin stood, no doubt showing off the latest in boys' fashion. Remus ducked between its legs and pushed his back up against the wall, knees drawn up close to his chest. He pulled out his phone with some difficulty.

Remus: hey so ro does my suit need a tie pin

Robro: Don't worry abt it, mom got matching tie pins for everyone

Sleep: ree babes are you buying ur suit now?

Remus: shut up

Sleep: on black friday?

Remus: no

Ant: did you even know it was black friday

Remus: ...

Toby: wait the wedding is tmrrw

Robro: Believe me tobias I'm aware

Remus: yah ik im not buying the whole suit just shoes

Robro: Good I almost had a heart attack, you almost certainly wouldn't be able to find one

Now truly panicking, Remus dropped his phone onto his stomach and buried his fists in his hair. How was he supposed to find a salmon suit and a blue tie, as well as nice socks? Plus a wedding present? Especially in this crowd, when he had no clue where to even look for a suit. And he still had to go to the party tonight, then the wedding tomorrow, and it was so loud. Everyone was yelling over each other, and Remus couldn't even hear his own thoughts—except the bad ones. Why did he have to put this off so long? He needed out, he wasn't going to be able to get any of the stuff, he was going to ruin the wedding, like he ruined everything—

“Hello, may I help you?”

Remus looked up—at least, as up as he could look, with a mannequin just above him—to see a bespectacled store clerk looking down at him. 'Logan', his nametag read.

Remus opened his mouth, then closed it again before a string of curses could come out. He really wasn't doing well. There was just too much, too much everything.

“Is there anything I can help you find?” Logan asked, his voice rumbling a bit—or maybe it was the thunder of people in the shop. Whatever it was, it made Remus's stomach drop a little.

“Um, uh, pink!” If Remus had any shame, he would have slapped his own face. As it was, he started trying to pantomime a suit while stuck in a tiny hollow in the wall. Logan watched kindly, his face not betraying the disgust he was probably feeling.

“Pink what? Shirt?” Logan guessed. Remus shook his head, running his hands down his legs. Pants too, pants too.

“Pink . . . coat? Shorts? Pants?”

Remus traced back over his arms, almost crying. Here he was, bothering this poor clerk with his stupid non-verbal self.

“A pink suit?”

Remus jumped for joy, hitting his head on the crotch of the mannequin, instantly shuddering at the thoughts that flooded into his head. Logan held out a hand, and Remus took it, allowing himself to be pulled out of the wall.

“I can direct you to the suit section, right this way.”

Remus let himself be led by Logan, who occasionally looked back to make sure he was still there. The man had a curly mop of dark hair, and was slightly shorter than he was—not that it was a problem. Or anything important. Remus wasn't looking for a date. He was inconveniencing a store clerk on Black Friday. Although, he did need a plus one for the wedding. . . .

No, it was out of the question. He didn't even know this man. Roman would be upset if he ruined the wedding even more by showing up with some rando who would probably jump in the wedding cake or spill food all over the nice tablecloths or turn out to be really ugly because he was just wearing a mask made of someone else's face.

“Here is where the suits are. Do you need anything else?”

Remus stared at him, his mouth opening and shutting a few times. He wanted to say something stupid, like yeah, I need those eyes in my life, or something far more obscene, but he was okay. He could do this. He could survive peopling.

Logan gave him a sympathetic smile. “I can help you find the right suit, if that's what you require.”

Before he could stop himself, Remus was nodding. He let Logan pull him past a crying couple and two arguing families to a rack of suit coats that were red.

“Will these suffice?” the clerk asked, gesturing at them. Remus frowned. They weren't pink. Was the man messing with him? Seeing his look, Logan checked the tag and groaned. “Apologies, I'm colorblind. I could have sworn these were pink. Hopefully the last customer who I pointed this way was not upset.”

That was a joke, right? Remus almost laughed, but knew if he did he would start crying. Logan led him through the crowd with seemingly unending patience, occasionally smiling gently at him. Remus felt his heartrate spike every time one of those smiles was sent his way, but for a reason completely unrelated to the overpowering noise and crowd.

Logan found him a probably very nice pink suit—Remus wasn't really looking at it. Then Logan was kind enough to let him into an employee restroom to try it on, seeing as the dressing rooms had a line that ran all the way to the front doors. It fit nicely, tight (though not as tight as his jeans) and sleek, accompanied with a blue tie that Logan had found while he was changing.

“That looks very sharp on you, sir,” Logan informed him, as Remus blushed.

“Remus,” he blurted out. Logan raised his eyebrows.

“After the character in Roman mythology?” asked Logan, his tone betraying something like excitement. Remus nodded, then looked down at the tie.

“We—didn't look at—at ties yet,” he stammered, trying to make his voice work. “Where—?”

“Ah, it happens to be one of mine,” Logan said. For the first time, he looked a little uncomfortable. “I keep one in my locker for emergencies, and I thought it would look nice on—it would look nice. With the suit.”

Remus finally found the courage to smile back. “Thanks, Specs. Uh, sorry for taking up so much of your time. I'll just buy this, it's dope.”

“Oh no, I do not at all mind assisting you,” Logan said quickly. “At least I don't have to deal with . . . whatever is going on.”

“You could assist me by being my date!”

Logan stared.

Remus clapped a hand over his mouth.

“. . . What?”

“Nothing, nothing nothing,” said Remus. “I just—um—you need to get your tie back right? And I—if you let me, of course—I could just wear it, save money and all that, and you could come and then take it home so that I don't steal it or whatever?” He scrunched his eyes up, turning away so as to catch no sight of Logan rejecting him. Why did he have to say that? The noise pressed down on him again; despite still being in the staff restroom, it was almost too loud to bear.

“Wear it . . . where?”

Remus would already be curled up on the floor were it not for the very un-purchased suit he was currently wearing. “Um, my brother's wedding tomorrow?” he chanced, hands clenched over his eyes.

The utter disbelief in Logan's voice was clear as a bell. “You are buying a suit . . . for a wedding . . . that is tomorrow. On Black Friday, of all days.”

Tears choked Remus's throat. “Y-yeah, I'm really bad at planning.” Why was he even asking this cute clerk out anyway? Just because Roman kept teasing him for not having a date to the wedding? Or did he actually have a crush on Logan?

He searched his feelings briefly, and found almost instantly that he for sure had a crush. Okay, that was a lot to deal with right now. They had just met! It was just . . . the way he smiled at him, the way he didn't abandon him even though he'd been having a panic attack for about an hour at this point, how gentle and kind he was. Not to mention how put-together he was. And his hair? That was just hot.

Now though, just seconds after realizing he liked Logan, the guy was going to reject him because he had run his stupid mouth. Remus cringed. The silence had gone on for far too long.

“Well, I expect you to pick me up an hour before the event begins. I do not currently have my own means of transportation. You are quite fortunate that I do not work tomorrow.”

Wait.

What?

“You—you really—?” Remus's voice broke. He jumped as Logan lay a warm hand over his own, which were still pressed into his eyes.

“Of course,” Logan said kindly. “I know very little about you, but I rather feel that—and no offense meant—you will be distressed at such a large event as a wedding. I would love to continue to assist you.” He coughed, then added, “Also, the streak in your hair is very attractive.”

Remus almost sighed in relief. This was okay. He let Logan pull his hands away from his face, then ran a sleeve over his eyes and nose. Logan froze.

“Well, now you have to buy that suit,” Logan said. As an aside, he muttered, “At least it looks good on you.”

“Aw, Lo, you think I look hot?” Remus asked shakily, managing a smile. “What about my jeans? Think I look good in tight clothes?”

Logan turned away, unfortunately letting go of Remus's hands, the tips of his ears turning pink. “Are you always this insufferable?”

Remus slung an arm around his shoulder. “Yep! And you're stuck with me for a whole date!”

Logan pushed his glasses up his nose. “If it doesn't work out, we can just pretend we never met, if you like. We will both move on with our lives. There is no obligation that comes with this date, we are both free to back out at any time.”

Remus quickly retracted his arm from Logan's shoulder, then nodded. That made sense. He did like Logan, and he didn't want to upset him. Shameless flirting was definitely on the table, though.

“When's your lunch break?” Remus asked, as casually as possible. Logan snorted.

“I only have a twenty minute lunch today, they don't want me to leave them without as much help as possible.” Logan went to open the door and exit the restroom, then glanced back. “One o'clock. I plan on getting a sandwich at the Subway in the hall outside of the store. It would be wonderful if someone would wait in line for me and order me an Italian BMT and a bag of potato chips, so that I am not late in returning.”

Remus grinned. Easy-peasy, and just like that he would get to spend some time with Logan before the wedding.

Logan made to leave, but Remus grabbed his arm. “One sec, hot stuff,” he said, butterflies racing through his stomach at Logan's blush, “not to bother you any more or anything, but do you have any suggestions for a wedding present?”

The utter disbelief on Logan's face completely wiped out any blush that had been there. “The wedding is tomorrow, Remus.”

Remus's breath caught. Logan said his name. It sounded so beautiful coming from him. If a heavenly chorus had been singing around him at that moment, it would have been dull compared to Logan saying his name.

Logan sighed. “Of course I have some ideas. Do you need anything else?”

Remus pulled himself together, then grabbed his phone from the pile of his clothes on the floor. He checked the list, ignoring the notifications from the group chat.

“Uh, yeah. A pocket square to match the tie, and some nice socks.”

“That's doable. Tell me about your brother and his partner while we find those items. Perhaps you and I can put together an ideal gift.” Logan stepped out of the restroom to give Remus privacy while he changed back into his clothes. Remus shucked the suit off as quickly as possible. All the intense stimulation had blurred into the background, Logan being the only buzz he needed to keep going.

Remus didn't often have a good feeling about anything, but this? Oh yeah, there was definitely something good here.

#sanders sides gift exchange #sanders sides #thomas sanders #ts sides #ts #remus sanders #ts remus #logan sanders #ts logan #sanders sides fic #remus is a disaster gay #he also has social anxiety which influences his intrusive thoughts #i wrote a couple of my own habits/mannerisms into him #like the fact that when he gets really anxious he plays loud music to drown it out!#it's such a calming thing that i rarely see people write about #and it feels sort of weird that he gets anxious when the surroundings are too loud #when he uses loud music to calm down #but that's just literally me #projection city: population me #also ash i sent you an ask forever ago trying to sound out if you wanted an au or canon-type fic #you said au!!#so here we are #if i end up writing more it'll probably be the wedding from logan's pov #anyway i hope this is something like what you wanted!#happiest of holidays to you!#and anyone else reading!#much love -mas

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frumfrumfroo · 4 years

Note

I’m new here and couldn’t tell from the tone of some asks (sorry) but did you like what they did with Ben in TRoKR ? I saw the discussions abt him lacking agency in it and I 100% agree but did you personality agree w/ the passive, “things only happen to me” vibe they gave him? And second question: can u give examples of how soule’s writing was telegrsmed in TFA? Thank u for taking the time xx

Like I’ve said before, it’s exactly the kind of backstory I would have written for him/always imagined. I had expected to find out he didn’t kill the other students/fought them in self defence/it was some kind of accident or emotional overload incident in TLJ. That was where everything was pointing.

Someone this insecure and conflicted about what he’s doing, someone who prays for help to resist his loving nature and cries when he sees his dad, who is so uncomfortable with himself he is covered head to toe not even his voice unmasked, who immediately latches on to the protagonist as a kindred spirit in loneliness and needs her to know he’s not a creature and wants to help her rather than hurt her- that’s not a person who had an eyes-open, all-in fall to the dark side full of decisive action and unhindered agency.

Leia saying ‘it was Snoke’ told us from the get go we’re in a situation where he was haunted and manipulated. His subservience and rote, childish repetition of ‘the Supreme Leader is wise’ when Han tells him Snoke doesn’t care about him. The constant, ongoing contradiction of his behaviour and motives tell us he has no conviction in the cause he’s supposedly supporting. His self-harm and naked suffering in the face of his own actions, his recklessness and inability to commit to selfishness and lack of ambition tell us those aren’t qualities which drove him here. He is highly emotionally driven, there’s no tangible goal and he doesn’t have a vision of the future. So why is he on the dark side?

It’s not that things only happen to him or that he’s passive, it’s that Ben has never pursued or been comfortable with what darkness really is and that has always been obvious. He tries very, very hard and fights tooth and claw to cling to something good in the comic until all of it is in ashes- he’s not passive, but he can’t win. No one can hold out forever against that kind of relentless onslaught. That he was absolutely a victim doesn’t mean he has no agency in his later choices. He’s not absolved of responsibility. But his reluctance and victimhood only makes sense, anything else would be incongruous with TFA.

There was never pursuit of power for power’s sake from him- there’s nothing he wants that the dark side can give him, he is there literally because he felt he had nowhere else to go. I said this before TLJ even came out. He felt he could not escape it, both because of the fatalism his family unintentionally instilled in him and because Snoke convinced him none of them loved him, that he is only useful or valued as a tool. Ben is a person who doesn’t believe he has any inherent value just for himself- just Ben, he believes that he can’t be forgiven for the sin of being born a disappointment, and that everything is his fault because he’s wrong and bad no matter what he does. None of his choices feel to him like real choices, all of his options appear to have been taken from him, and he feels compelled to plunge forward on the only remaining path. The comic provided an emotionally and logically cogent explanation for exactly why he would feel that way which is completely consistent with all the implications about his past and his characterisation from the films.

As I’ve pointed out before, there’s a reason he says ‘it’s too late’ to coming home not ‘I don’t want to’. There’s a reason he says ‘what I have to do’ and ‘he (I) was weak and foolish’- there’s a reason he needs Han’s help to go through with killing his father. It’s not about what he wants (he wants to go home with his dad- he thinks he can’t), he has never felt free to make his own choices or that freedom is possible for him.

Even at his darkest he never became cruel, he never enjoyed killing or hurting people, and he totally fails to suppress his instinct to be compassionate. He has a highly developed conscience and an overflowing core of empathy he can’t seal off. That’s why he’s so miserable as he pushes himself to do things he finds abhorrent- but he thinks he has to, there’s no escape, it’s the only way. In the sequence which establishes this character, even before any layers are stripped away or the investment we naturally have in him because of who he is is revealed, one of the first things we see him do is have compassion for F/nn. Those two characters are connected and a comparison is invited- this is visual storytelling showing you that they have something in common (it will be made clear later on that Ben saw himself in F/nn and that’s why he takes his actions so personally- cognitive dissonance).

F/nn was a good person trapped in the mask of the stormtrooper by circumstances beyond his control, but he is able to reject it and reclaim his identity. Ben is a good person hounded into the mask of Kylo Ren by his family’s failure to reconcile with Vader. The crushing weight of their expectations and their total lack of faith in him combined with their lies and Snoke’s manipulation convinces him there is ‘too much Vader in him’ and that Ben Solo isn’t and never will be good enough for anyone. That his love, compassion, and selflessness are all weaknesses which will only cause both him and the galaxy further suffering.

He is the most morally sensitive person in the new gen, he is the most outward-orientated and loving. His impulse is to be selfless and helpful, but that impulse has been relentlessly punished until he mistrusts it and thinks he must repress his wrong instincts and serve a ‘greater order’ guided by someone stronger than him. He has an acute sense of the impact of his actions and he considers it (even when he loses control of his emotions, he overwhelmingly targets things rather than people and his angry threats are empty).

In contrast, Anakin (who was committed on the dark side and successfully cut himself off from his empathy for many years) was all in on the pursuit of power even when he still had good intentions. Anakin also knew that power was the foundation of the dark side and he and Palpatine would always be at odds, that some day he would overthrow him and take his place. Ben only values power out of fear, and solely primal fear not more abstract, possessive fear like Anakin’s, he wants safety. He doesn’t go to Snoke thinking he’s ever going to take his place or gain his power- he wants Snoke to give him belonging and acceptance. He’s then convinced that the ends justify the means and doing things he knows are wrong and which cause him pain are necessary because his whole life and Snoke’s machinations have set him up to believe that. He is still trying to create safety and doing what he’s convinced must be done and will be done one way or another.

Ben is a beautiful compassionate person and always has been and that is why he’s in such constant, excruciating pain trying to shut himself off from love and vulnerability. He is following Snoke’s demands and trying to kill his past to stop the pain, to kill this vulnerability and need and weakness in himself. Connection was always what he wanted most and he is trying to cut off and cauterise all of the broken, abandoned bonds of love his family has left him with. And even here, he still wants Snoke’s acceptance, Snoke’s validation and esteem. He is still pouring himself out for an other, giving everything to please someone else, the last person left who tells him it’s possible he can achieve value.

He latched on to Rey instantly when he realised they were alike and did everything possible to lift her up and spare her what he went through. He only rejected Han and Rey’s offers to come with them because he thinks their love is conditional and that small, dirty, broken Ben Solo will never be able to meet the conditions. He thinks he is a tool or an obligation to them and it’s easy to understand why he thinks that. Han couldn’t wipe away a lifetime of baggage in a few words. Rey pretends it’s about the cause, she doesn’t tell him she loves him.

He thinks he must ‘become who he was meant to be’ and that his destiny is to become a new Vader. Everyone told him that. Whether with their fear or directly with words. When he finds out the truth about his grandfather, it’s a complete confirmation of what Snoke has told him and how his parents have treated him. Luke deciding he can’t be allowed to live because it’s that inevitable is the nail in the coffin in Ben believing there’s any place for him with his family. There is nowhere for him to exist as himself, he has to be someone else, someone less weak. And in running away from himself, his legacy, and his identity he puts himself under Snoke’s thumb and Snoke can finish inculcating his worldview.

Being able to love is freedom to Ben. He is an immensely loving person who feels like he is not worthy or allowed to love people, that his love has done nothing but make things worse for everyone. The tension and repression of trying not to need or care about people is what makes him so emotionally unstable. Kylo Ren is a mask and a shield and a prison built by Ben’s hurt and anxiety but equally built by Snoke out of his boyhood fancies to control him and shape him into an instrument of pain. Ben could never have conviction in it because it is so alien to his nature. He is so fundamentally unselfish that he never coveted like Anakin eventually did, his love never became possessive or jealous, he never sold his soul for a boon, the only way he could be selfish enough to murder is out of animal fear and pain. Wanting the hurting to stop. Rationalising it post-facto with the philosophy that the ends justify the means.

He pours himself out for Snoke because there is no one else left. All he wants is the safety and acceptance that he has literally never had anywhere. Anakin received unconditional love from his mother, Obi-wan, and Padmé and was warped from giving compassion into selfishness by his fear of loss and need for control. Covetousness became his tragic flaw and thus his fall culminates in trying to kill Padmé rather than lose her. Control became so important that others ceased to matter and love became possession. Anakin (despite also being a victim of manipulation and Jedi hubris) got to make real choices, he had real options, and thus he was a villain with conviction. Ben’s attempts to take control of his life are unfocussed and mostly involve abnegation, he pushes people away instead of trying to clutch them close; his response to loss is to isolate himself not seize power to recover the lost thing by force. Ben never received unconditional love until Han’s sacrifice on the bridge and the experience immediately shatters him from his already tenuous position in the dark. The only thing keeping him from coming home after that is sunk cost and the idea that he can never be forgiven. That it was too late.

He just needed someone to show him it wasn’t.

#ben solo #this is repetitive brain vomit my apologies #I can't words any more everything is too terrible #he is a good boy though okay #the fact that he's a broken person rather than someone more inclined to dark paths doesn't lessen his redemption #he still did Very Bad Things and being convinced it was necessary or inevitable doesn't make it okay when a part of you knows it's not true #healing is the thing everyone has trouble beleiving in #and it's just as difficult to heal from misguidedness you were traumatised into as willful shittiness #maybe more so #because it feels less like a bad decision and more like you're just fucked up and can't help being fucked up #he'd still be just as redeemable if he were far more evil #but he is baby and I LOVE that about him #because there's nothing I love more than characters who are not what they appear to be #anyway reason 487389750783 he needed to live #it's not that he 'deserves' it more it's that you have to show you can recover #that you're not worthless if you can't be the perfect victim and pull yourself up by your bootstraps

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mychemicalaromanticism · 3 years

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things ive already established r on this post

besties this got so fucking long but heres a giant ramble about cherri

okay so. there are huge differences betwn cherri as a hyperviolent drac hunter and cherri as a friend of the four and cherri as the girls mentor. with the first one he was 17 and desperate to distance himself from his upbringing so he went all in on Being A Killjoy. he was always one of the first ppl to rush into a fight and he fought hard. he blew up his fuckin hand with that attitude. and all the while he was just racking up more unaddressed trauma and eventually he ran away from that, too. giving himself radiation poisoning was more appealing than facing his problems.

so as a teenager/young adult hes kind of constantly in a panicked state. hes scared the people from his past are going to find him and drag him back with them. so he lashes out and he runs away over and over again.

i said in another post that he has some past life shit goin on which usually would give him a connection to the witch that manifests early in life, but with all the stuff hes gone through he has been Preoccupied. he can become oblivious to almost anything that doesnt apply to whatever hes focused on. not in a hyperfocus way its likeeeeee. when u live on survival mode during prolonged periods of stress. hes immune to magic bullshit bc hes too tired and scared.

anyways around his mid-20s he finally has a little more stability (as much as the average person living in the zones can have, that is) and he finally notices that Weird Stuff happens around him. basically: out of my list of Powers People Connected To The Witch Have he has the prophetic dreams/enhanced intuition as well as a form of sensing ghosts where he can see auras and kind of like, echoes of past events in ppls lives. that look like auras. itz complicated and not of utmost importance so im leaving it at that.

anyways thats what makes him start writing poetry. just 4 funsies he'll describe his weird experiences and embellish them to make em pretty. just as a casual hobby n all that.

he would forget fun ghoul in between the times they ran into each other but its pretty easy to be reminded of who fun ghoul is. the most insane 10 year old cherri has ever met. cherri isnt a brother figure to ghoul. hes just. his friend that happens to be more than twice his age. its whatever lmao

to cherri, ghoul is kinda like a stray animal he keeps seeing. which is hilarious. ghoul actually goes and finds him to introduce him to jet when they start running together, and cherri meets party and kobra (spark and birdie at the time) when he drives the four of them to a party. because he has a truck hell yeah. so now instead of one stray animal he has, like, a feral cat colony that he drives around occasionally. i have no real-life human relationship equivalent to them because irl if some guy that is not related to any of you and isnt even a childhood or family friend and theyre hanging out with you? they are usually not a safe person lmao. but this is my fantasy land and im too stubborn to change anyones birth years even though ghoul being born in 2004 makes everything really hard to make not creepy.

so yeah hes a casual somewhat friend of the fab four. hed probably get more and more concerned as they got famous. the beginnings of any sort of protective feelings, awww :) that sets him up for becoming the girls mentor.

OH FUCK. THE GIRL..... i think if i was in my late 20s and i heard that the gang of 13-17 year olds had adopted a 5 year old kid i would go bananas. what the fuck. it is a LONG while before cherri meets her. but he has the strongest affection for ghoul (if you could even call it that) and ghoul absolutely adores the girl and swings her around under her arms like a cat to show her off to cherri and its very endearing and the girl is sweet and funny so its easy to be around her. and (unfortunately) she is somewhat used to interacting with weird easily agitated people so she kinda gives him space. cherri isnt quite the uncle figure the fandom usually makes him (i luv uncle cherri sm but he simply cannot exist in the universe ive created, f), but hes a little similar.

and then the four had to go and pretend to die. lol.

when the girl was kidnapped, fucking everyone who knew her was ready to storm the city then and there. like regardless of how little you knew her, if you had ever met her you would fucking die for her. she is pure childish charisma and shes precious. i love the girl. so cherris immediately on board with whatever plan the four make to get her back. ive already talked abt how it fucked up the girl tho; there was no way to tell her that the four werent actually dead, she sees the building collapse and she shuts down. and cherri has to fight against his instinct to leave the radio station and never come back when he sees an eight year old girl sitting dissociated on the couch. that fucks everyone up.

i just realized i havent talked about literally anyone else at the radio station. i think cherri started lingering around the station bc it was safe and sheltered while also not being a popular spot. there are less kids there (people pass through but its not a hangout spot). he was kind of just hanging around to get away from the heat and noise and dr d took notice. because that man can see ur soul and no one knows if thats literal or not. so theyd chat a few times a day and show pony was the one 2 get him out of his shell a little and also was the first one he mentioned his poetry hobby to. im making this all up right now as im writing bc i dont know anything about LITERALLY any of the ppl associated w the radio like im not even going 2 try with chimp n newsie i do not have the willpower to tackle all that. justttt. cherri pony n D become bros and live 2gether there.

back 2 the regular timeline. the rescue mission happens in 2019. the girl lives at the station until 2023. during that time she is very much depressed and withdrawn and is only happy when the four come to visit. none of the Adults know how to help her so they just keep her safe and cared for and hope she'll open up to them.

she does not. she takes the weird cat thats been hanging around and she runs away.

cherri does not see her for three years. shes still worse for wear in the mental health department and he can see all kinds of visions of what shes been through since the last time he saw her and he fucking hates the ultra vs bc they remind him of his past. he does not want her going down that path but its obvious that she isnt crazy abt the ultraviolence thing either so thats a relief.

they have a kind of tense relationship throughout the comics. he feels like he failed her and that spirals into feeling like he failed the four for not being a good adult to them and fun ghoul for not helping enough when his commune was bombed and all kinds of shit and that irrational thinking mixed with plain old, yknow, caring about the girl, is what makes him take a bullet (laser. whatever) for her.

i was trying to figure out the timing of each of their ghost experiences, but i want both of them to talk to the witch and im just gonna make it like dreams where a whole buncha stuff happens but irl its been like seconds. so its like barely a second while the girl has her Witch Convo and cherri FINALLY gets a straight answer, yes there is weird shit going on with him having powers. he doesnt have any story-significant past lives because im lazy, hes just an old soul. like really fuckin old. the amount of latent life experience and stuff his soul/energy/whatever has picked up along the way makes him VERY noticeable to gods n stuff. he fuckin lights up all the alarms like what the FUCK is that over there. she wasnt rly able to get to him or even properly notice him while he was a kid and a young adult so shes happy to finally see him again. he has a STRONG sense of familiarity with her. they know each other on a wild ass level that he cant really comprehend.

welp thats some more lore I'll have 2 think abt. anywayz

post canon is when he and val get to have the most awkward spiderman meme moment of realizing that they have the same trauma SOOOOO thatz fun lol /s sorry kings i thought it would be fun to give u something fucked up to bond over <3

not much changes in his personality. he has a better understanding of Weird Magic and delights in freaking out the ultra vs but for the most part he returns to his life at the radio station. i love him

THIS GOT SO CRAZY LONG I DID NOT MEAN 2 GO THROUGH EVERY PART OF HIS LIFE LIKE SOME WEIRD CHARACTER STUDY but here we are. this is basically a first draft like almost all of this is subject to change but u gotta start somewhere. so heres my start i love this guy. its probably obvious but i have not read ANY twitterverse killjoys stuff </3 maybe i will someday idk

#cat talks #lore #ok2rb but what a mess this post is

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ninekings · 3 years

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i was tagged by @mandalorr what a queen <333

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you want to get to know better

Name/Nickname: rachel

Gender: woman (she/her)

Star sign: pisces sun, scorpio moon, gemini rising

Height: 5′2

Time: it’s 1:45pm for me

Birthday: feb 25!!

Favorite bands: the maine, cold war kids, mcr, mother mother, the mountain goats, death cab for cutie

Favorite solo artists: hozier, orville peck,,, tbh i don’t listen to a lot of solo artists

Song stuck in your head: verbatim by mother mother, scotty doesn’t know by lustra, and all the things she said by tatu sdfhkhdj

Last movie: love actually (the only valid christmas movie besides bridget jones’s diary)

Last show: supernatural, unfortunately

When did I create this blog: oh my god this is actually so beyond embarrassing but in like 2012 i saw people posting about the m*shapocalypse and my middle school brain thought it was the funniest thing ever so.... now i’m trapped here <3

What I post: i try to stick to mostly pretty pictures bc that makes me happy but lately i have Not been able to shut up about supernatural so.... sorry abt that (this blog has truly seen it all tho.... if any of y’all remember me as anotherpointlessmcrblog circa 2013,,, good times. i also was a marvel and lord of the rings blog at 1 point + that’s where ninekings comes from lol)

Last thing I googled: how to format a block quote in MLA

Other blogs: none that are active anymore

Do I get asks: no but pls come talk to me!! i have lots of Thoughts about supernatural at the moment but pls feel free to message me about anything xoxo

Why I chose my url: i accidentally answered this earlier but it’s a lotr reference but it’s also vague enough that i can also pass it off as like just aesthetic yk

Following: around 200! if anybody has any good aesthetic/fashion blogs pls send them my way

Followers: ~1350 but i think like 85% of that is from long-abandoned blogs so there are like 30 ppl at most who see my posts at this point. i rly just chat into the void in the tags

Average hours of sleep: i just finished finals and i smoke too much sooooo lately i’ve been averaging around 12-14

Lucky number: 7

Instruments: piano, violin, and guitar. haven’t touched any of them in years tho

What I’m wearing: my male manipulator fit (faded t shirt, flannel, beanie + as a bonus, my clear plastic glasses) and booty shorts that say “enemy of the state”, courtesy of @ayahoes

Dream job: ummm i literally have no idea LMAOO i’ve changed my major multiple times and i’m currently a history major (again) so i think i’ll prob end up teaching at a university or something like that!!

Dream trip: i want to visit old castles in europe but i also wanna go on a road trip across the US in a van so idk

Favorite food: taco bell black bean crunchwrap <33

Nationality: i’m american!!! (not to be That white person but my dad’s family is irish/scottish and my mom’s fam is eastern european jewish)

Favorite song(s): culture vulture by morning parade and all i want by adtr at the moment!!

Last book: the last book i finished was circe by madeline miller + i just started caliban and the witch by silvia federici (if ur reading this, send me book recommendations pls!!!)

Top 3 fictional universes I wanna live in: def harry potter and the lord of the rings. not sure abt the 3rd but maybe dragon age?? idk it kinda sucks there LMAO

anywho i hope you’re all having a great day/holiday season!! i’m just gonna tag the first few people who come up bc i don’t rly talk to too many people on here besides like irl friends so uhhh sorry if this is annoying lol xoxo

i tag: @ayahoes @bleakvisions @beachcommxnity @corktreees @frankierohugejorts @izzuue @ceaseium @lesbianfen @contrision @ispeakintypos @greatcomets @plague8 and anybody else who wants to do it!!

#about me #tag game

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queenofthefaces · 4 years

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Long ass autistic Kyle hc

Kyle is the type of kid who was so smart and did so well academically....no one thought there was anything “wrong”

So Kyle had no support system or frame of reference for his experiences, which led to.....a lot of issues especially with how he sees himself and his relationship to others

Kyle has an incredibly self-centered mindset. Not in a morally negative way—it’s just that thinking about others doesn’t come naturally to him. He tends to kind of forget that other ppl are affected by his actions or that they have perspectives and emotions different from his own

Again, if Kyle had support for this, he could’ve learned from a younger age how to better think about other people....but

Kyle was always “right.” He was always treated as though he and his POV was correct, and everyone either followed him or took his side

That gave him the mindset that he is correct always and didn’t encourage him to consider other ppl as much

Furthermore, Kyle has a very black/white view of things, and a strict internal logic

If something doesn’t make sense to kyle then it’s wrong. And he gets frustrated when things don’t make sense to him, even if his view is very narrow

He also has issues with managing his emotion, especially his anger

He tends to have frequent meltdowns and needs time and space to himself, but he doesn’t realize that’s what’s happening or how to really deal with it properly

He also has communication issues (mostly due to the aforementioned “self centeredness”) and bc of that, he isn’t always able to get his logic and his view across

So when he can’t explain something that’s obvious to him, he’ll get frustrated and meltdown

Also Kyle tends to fixate INCREDIBLY HARD on things that don’t make sense to him

So if he has a question he wants answered, he’ll ask it over and over and won’t stop or listen to anything else until it’s answered.......and get frustrated if someone doesn’t just explain it to him

Even if it seems petty or minimal to other ppl, it becomes the most important thing to Kyle in tuat moment

Bc of kyles self-centered perspective, he also tends to assume that everyone else adheres to the same logic he does, and therefore, will feel the same way he does

So if someome is hurt or upset or has any other reaction Kyle doesn’t, he assumes they’re just wrong and that their emotions come from faulty logic bc that’s how kyle functions

(Even if Kyle has a lot of emotions and doesn’t really know how to control them himself)

He also tends to be incredibly blunt and honest bc of this, and most of the time has no idea if he’s coming off as rude bc if he’s saying smth that wouldn’t hurt him, why would it hurt someome else?

Or, his brain becomes fixated on the thing, and he doesn’t even think about why he’s saying it or why it should be said

OR he has an internal sense of logic and honor that dictates he must always tell the truth, even if the “truth” is only his own beliefs or is unnecessary to point out

It’s why he felt ok dismissing stan when stan was depressed, but was so torn up with guilt over TP’in a house

For one, he didn’t understand what stan was going through, literally couldn’t and refused to put himself in Stan’s POV, and thought that stan was overreacting (following patterns he’d had established that no one ever tried to challenge)

But when he TP’ed a house, it’s smth he knew he shouldn’t have done (rules are comforting, and make sense) and smth that Kyle wouldn’t have liked to happen (and it messed with his internal sense of justice, which involves truth and honesty)

With that also—kyles internal sense of justice is highly dependent on honesty, logic, and rules/authority

(This is emphasized by Kyle’s mother, who raised him strictly with clear rules)

Whether Kyle feels morally bad about what he does doesn’t really matter—he’ll just feel bad about rule breaking as a concept, UNLESS he can use his own logic to circumvent them or explain his way out of them

Kyle is always right, Kyle works on logic—it’s why kyle is always trying to explain away his mistakes or actions, and why he’s so resistant to change or to the concept of being wrong/making mistakes

It doesn’t work with his internal logic, he never accepted the concept of failure

This isn’t just a personal failure, but is also influenced by his upbringing and “gifted kid syndrome”

His parents and likely his teachers set high expectations on Kyle for being the “good” and “smart” kid, and bc Kyle always succeeded, he eventually was pressured into feeling like he always had to succeed, he always had to be right, and attached a personal value onto that

If Kyle isn’t right, then he has failed and failure is a personal failing that he puts on himself

It’s why being wrong crushes him as well

And again. A lot of this is because kyle never got any help or support as an autistic kid

People assumed this smart kid was fine and couldn’t possibly have anything he ever struggles with, even though he’s struggling socially and with his own self-identity (which he has tied to actions and the way people see him)

It’s also why his relationship with cartman is so important to him—with cartman, Kyle is always right, and fighting w cartman just reinforces kyles comfort zone and makes him feel secure in himself

Which is dangerous, bc it not only causes that codependency, it makes it so that kyles sense of self is externally based instead of internally based

Everything kyle thinks abt himself and who he is, is dependent on how other people see him, which isn’t a stable perspective and it drives him to resist change and reject when other people change or can change

It causes him to have very fixed views of people and how they would work or think—like caricatures—and it distresses him if they act “out of character” or in a way he doesn’t expect. He ends up being incredibly mistrusting of others and suspicious of their personal progress

And he also again tends to be self-centric and won’t even think about the possibility that they have lives and motivations outside of him

And again. A lot of this could’ve been avoided if someome looked at this socially struggling, self-centered child with anger issues and tried to help him

And headcanon that Kyle himself never knew he was autistic until he was late into his teens—bc his mother offhandedly mentioned it

As in, kyles parents knew he was autistic, but never mentioned it to him

Which. Fucks Kyle up a lot, bc it messes with his sense of self and his assuredness in his abilities/thoughts/etc

Kyle accepted a lot of “truths” about himself that arent even true but they didn’t make sense otherwise without the framework of being autistic

Kyle is a picky eater, Kyle hates being touched, Kyle hates people, Kyle is disliked because he’s too honest and frankly mean, etc

When really those are: Kyle has specific sensory sensitivities and struggles with social situations and therefore is uncomfortable or makes others uncomfortable bc he can’t read others well

I think after finding out he’s autistic, Kyle would try to use his autism as an excuse

Instead of trying to change any part of himself he’d whip out the “oh I’m autistic” card

Until craig calls him out on his bullshit, because, dude, shut up

Even though certain things are difficult to learn, they’re not impossible and it’s a process Kyle needs to go through or else he’ll remain an isolated, selfish asshole

#long post #south park #kyle broflovski #creo talks

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phobiadeficient · 4 years

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A punishing B by making him wear a remote controlled vibrator? (Speeding bullet or spy/engie please! Also I love your work :) )

i want you guys to know that like the majority of the time when y'all go “this pairing or this one, shrug emoji” i literally just like. coin flip abt it. i don't even have an app i just google “coin flip” and just pick like Any option from the list. that's the brand of messy bitch disease that we have going on up in here. anyways here's your porn like a month late anon sorry

Spy didn’t even realize how hard he was clenching his fists until he heard the leather creak and realized his knuckles were aching.

To be honest, he’d half expected it to be more of an endurance thing. That it’d get turned on and he’d just be expected to ride through it until the Engineer was good and ready to end his silly little game and get on with it. But that didn’t seem to be the direction things were going in.

Because first of all, the Engineer was fiddling with the remote for the thing every few minutes, switching up rhythm and speed and force what seemed to be entirely at random.

And second of all, it had been—and he hadn’t even been checking his watch, wasn’t entirely sure, but it felt like hours, and had probably been at least forty minutes of this, and he wasn’t even looking at Spy all that much besides cursory glances every now and then before promptly returning to what he was working on—the sketch on a blueprint, it seemed, something that required an amount of focus.

He’d started this little game pretty cocky, because he was good at this sort of thing, at ignoring physical urges and keeping a cool head in situations that other people would be entirely distracted by. But some combination of all of this, of the sensation plus the presence of his lover plus the pressure of it being some kind of game, plus the fact that the aforementioned lover was ignoring him plus the idea crowding into frame that maybe, just maybe, he hadn’t read the game correctly and something else was going on, well, it was pulling him apart.

He’d started out with good posture and nonchalance and a smirk that he damn well knew was charming and could send shivers through anyone he chose, composed and flirtatious and unaffected. But forty minutes in, his posture had crumpled, and he was sweating and overheated, his shirt clinging to his skin, his pants entirely uncomfortable, his knees trembling a little bit.

The only thing the Engineer had told him to do was get his clothes back in order and to keep his hands up above the table. And he’d glanced up exactly twice when Spy had moved them, once to adjust his tie and once to tug on his mask to make it sit a bit more comfortably. He knew he wouldn’t get away with sneaking them below the table to make himself more comfortable in any sense of the word.

He stared hard at the Engineer, and the Engineer didn’t even look at him.

He broke somewhere around minute forty-five.

“How much longer is this going to take?” he asked flatly.

He hummed. “Probably somethin’ like an hour or two, haven’t blocked out much besides the general shape,” he replied, tapping some part of the blueprint for emphasis.

Spy clenched his fists. “That isn’t what I meant,” he deadpanned.

The Engineer looked up at him, finally, and Spy felt all the more aware of what a mess he probably looked like. “Oh, right,” he said, as if he’d forgotten, even as he clicked a button and the rhythm shifted again, making a muscle in Spy’s jaw shift. “Well. Guess that depends on a couple of things.”

“Such as?” Spy asked, voice tight.

“You sayin’ you give up?”

He wasn’t entirely sure why the Engineer phrased it like that, only that doing so made him immediately shake his head, maybe a touch too quickly. The Engineer nodded, and returned to his work.

Five minutes passed before a Spy spoke again. “Dell, what exactly is the point of this game?” he managed through gritted teeth.

“Not sure what you mean, darlin’,” he hummed, drawing a line with precision and care using a ruler.

“I’m getting extremely frustrated,” Spy said outright.

“Mm-hmm,” Engie hummed.

“I would very much like to get to whatever happens next,” he said, even more outright, stressing his words.

His focus was swimming so much that somehow he hadn’t noticed the Engineer’s other hand drifting to take hold of the remote again, first and foremost feeling the vibrations cease altogether.

A breath of relief as for a few wonderful moments he thought that the Engineer was moving things along. But after a few seconds, a minute, two minutes, Spy felt confused.

The Engineer looked up at him, adjusted his goggles. “Want me to turn it back on?” he asked calmly, coolly.

The frustration flared back up in an instant. “I want for you to touch me,” Spy all but snapped.

“I know you do. But you don’t get that yet. So do you want me to turn it back on?” he asked, and underneath the calm in his tone and the softness of his voice was a hard edge that sent a shiver down Spy’s back, made him swallow hard.

He hesitated for only a few seconds before he nodded. His head fell as the toy turned back on, thrumming to life and setting his nerve endings aflame.

The short break made the sudden flood of pleasure all the more potent, made him have to fight not to make any kind of noise. And even then he exhaled shakily, eyes screwing shut hard, heartbeat thrumming.

A minute or so later he was already feeling that desperation creeping back into view, making him wish he could at least lower his hands to undo his belt to get a little more comfortable. But even just flexing and curling his hands to try and distract himself gained the Engineer’s attention, his head tilting just slightly for a moment towards him until the movement stopped.

“When will this game be over?” he finally snapped, working hard to keep his voice filled with annoyance and not pleading.

“That depends,” was the level, easygoing reply, and a click, and the rhythm of the toy shifted again, making Spy bite down hard on the inside of his cheek to stay quiet.

“On what?” Spy demanded.

“On whether you’re gonna behave,” Engie said, turning his head to look at Spy.

Alright, he knew this one. “And what exactly is it that you want me to do?” he asked, voice dropping to a purr, even if it was a little unsteady, a little breathless.

The Engineer hummed, started tidying up his workspace a little, putting pencils and rulers and erasers back where they belonged. Once it was reasonably tidied, he looked back over. “I want you to quit mouthin’ off so much to the team,” he said, and Spy blinked.

He laughed incredulously. “You can’t be serious,” he managed. “All of this over—“

“You’re bein’ a real menace,” the Engineer interrupted, cutting Spy off cold. “Usually it’s just a snide comment here and there, but lately you’ve really been hitting the team hard. Makin’ a damn fool out of everyone, belittling people—hell, I’d call it outright bullying. And what you’re gonna do now, after tonight, is stop that.”

“Or what?” Spy couldn’t help but challenge.

“I guess you’ll see,” he shrugged.

Spy huffed. “Am I supposed to be scared?” he teased.

The vibrator shut off.

He blinked. Shifted. Held eye contact even as his eyebrows furrowed.

There was a long pause before the Engineer spoke, and when he did, he was still casual, conversational even. “That was a bit rude, darlin’. Ought to apologize,” he prompted.

Spy sneered, even as he shifted, weighted his options. Ultimately, his head didn’t win out. “Fine, I’m sorry,” he said, flippant, only to become significantly less flippant as his apology was rewarded with the toy being switched back on.

Then the Engineer was standing up, rounding the table. Spy turned to meet him, but was flipped right back around again, wrists pinned to the tabletop with one hand, the Engineer’s broad chest pressing into his back and trapping him even further in place. “You sorry for makin’ fools of the team?” he asked.

Spy managed to gather his thoughts enough to consider his options. “...And what do I get if I apologize?” he prompted.

“You’ll see,” the Engineer said.

“And if I don’t?”

“You already know that one,” he said, meaningfully turning the remote around in his free hand.

Spy scowled. “Ugh. Oui, I’m sorry.”

The remote was placed on the tabletop—within his reach, although he’d never be able to grab it with his wrists pinned—and the Engineer’s hand trailed down his abdomen and to his pants, and made quick—if slightly rough—work of getting them open. He sighed in relief, extremely pleased with this turn of events, even if the Engineer didn’t touch him much beyond that. Just that much was a blessing.

“You sorry for acting like an ass to everyone?” the Enginner prompted.

“Oui,” Spy answered easily enough, not much meaning behind the words, more easily giving over into the pleasure once the pressure and immense discomfort of his pants was resolved.

His reward was the Engineer helping him pull his pants a little way down his legs, freeing him outright, and he gave a gaspy little noise at it, rocking forward slightly when he was able.

“And are you sorry for being so damn mean?” the Engineer asked next.

“I suppose,” Spy joked.

Silence, stillness. “I beg your pardon?” the Engineer asked, squeezing his wrists slightly, almost threateningly.

“If it moves along the game, then I suppose,” Spy teased, trying to glance over his shoulder.

The Engineer was quiet for a moment, then he was moving—except he was pulling Spy’s clothes back on, movements rough.

Spy was shaken from the euphoria, blinking, startled as he realized what was happening. “Oh, come on. Don’t you want to move on from this ridiculous game?” he tried, a little frustrated.

The Engineer moved the remote out of reach and released Spy’s wrists long enough to do his pants back up, absolutely no care or gentleness in the motion.

“Ow, ow! Dell!” he yelped, indignant. “Fine, fine! I’m sorry!”

Stillness again. He steadied himself with a deep breath.

“I’m sorry. I apologize,” he repeated, tone uneven, well shaken.

“Good,” the Engineer said quietly, and moved to undress him again. Spy only got to relax for a moment, though, before he spoke again. “But if you’re gonna misbehave like that, I might need somethin’ to help me...”

Spy was left alone for only a moment, only long enough to have an internal argument about whether he was allowed to turn around and see what was going on. Then his arms were being pulled behind his back and tied together, and this time both of the Engineer’s hands were free to torment him.

They traced meaningfully up Spy’s chest, left somewhat vulnerable when his arms were tied. “You said you were sorry for being so mean to everyone?”

“Yes, I’m sorry,” Spy nodded, too keyed up to argue the point again, and was rewarded with his tie being pulled off and his jacket and dress shirt being undone and left to hang open.

A moment’s thought from the Engineer, tracing over his undershirt. “The suits themselves are expensive, but not so much the undershirt and all that,” he said, only partially a question.

Spy nodded hesitantly, distractedly.

In one motion, he siezed the undershirt in both hands and ripped it clean open.

Spy cried out, alarmed, before he realized what had happened and relaxed again, muscle by muscle, heart absolutely pounding as the moment of fear resolved itself as absolute lust in the aftermath, his face heating up bright red.

“You gonna keep acting like a damn menace to the team?” the Engineer prompted, hands smoothing up Spy’s freshly-bared chest.

He swallowed hard. “Dell, please. I would like for this game to be over,” he said, voice breaking a little bit as his desperation reached its boiling point.

“That’s not an answer, doll.”

Spy steadied himself with a deep breath. “Fine. Yes, I’ll be civil.”

“You’ll be good?” he was prompted, and he shivered bodily.

“I’ll be good,” Spy agreed, head hanging.

“Prove it. Say please.”

The flood of conflicting emotions resolved as a kind of overload, his arms starting to tremble a bit. “Please,” he said, terribly quiet.

The toy shut off.

Spy immediately began to struggle against his bonds. “Oh, come on, I said it, I said I was sorry, I apologized, I-I said please, what more do you want from me—?!” he began to protest, outright desperate.

“Hush, hush,” the Engineer was quick to say, urging him to stand, to bend over the table. “Toy just ran out of power is all, darlin’, you did good. You did real good.”

Spy couldn’t quite bite back his moan as the toy was pulled free of his body and set aside, and god, it looked so small there on the table, and yet it had pulled him apart so effortlessly. “Dell,” he managed, voice shaky but still full of warning.

“I know,” he said, voice teasing, and then Spy was full again, this time of three thick fingers, gloved and slick, and any further complaints were pushed right out of view as he was pushed back open and slicked back up. “Think you can hold out long enough for me to get in?”

Spy had to think hard about it, could only distantly register his own heaving chest for a few moments. “I—I am not, sure,” he managed between panting, and cried out sharply as he got the first firm touch of that night in exactly the right place, and after so long of teasing it was almost too much for him to handle, too much pleasure making his toes curl in their shoes. “I-I-I—“

He was gently shushed again by a hand petting over his back, and his fingers moved softer and more slowly from then on, drawing out his pleasure in gentle throbs rather than in lightning bolts, a tide on the shoreline instead of being hit by a truck or three.

He wasn’t entirely sure that he was making sense anymore, could feel words exiting his mouth and could hear them being said, but he couldn’t process them on any level. He just heard the Engineer responding to them with praises and affirmations, and it drew him up higher and higher.

“Dell, please,” he managed, fighting hard to say it through the haze he’d fallen into, voice wavering.

“I’ve got you, doll, I’ve got you,” he assured, and then the Engineer reached around in front of him to tug him off, also so gently, so aware of how close he was to being entirely overwhelmed, and when he finally came it took him a few moments afterwards to remember how to breathe.

He was a model teammate in the following few days, at least until he was sure that the Engineer had probably had enough time to charge that toy again.

#//engiespy #//bondage #//teasing #//powerplay

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