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save-the-villainous-cat · 9 months

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can you write a snippet where hero beats villain for the first time, like completely whips their ass and destroys them but then it turns villain on. Yeah I got this idea from another of your snippets but I wanna read more >:)

“I feel like there’s a lot of unresolved hatred within you.” The hero stared at them, stared at the desk they’d destroyed with their bare hands.

“What makes you think that?” the hero asked. They were out of breath and seemed to be doing better now but if that was actually a positive thing remained to be decided. Even though this was an unusual situation, the villain had sworn to make the best of it.

As far as “the best” could go with a shock collar around their neck and lots of house arrest until the next trial.

“Your knuckles are bleeding,” the villain pointed out and they couldn’t quite look away from the broken table. It had been made out of heavy wood and if that wasn’t a metaphor for the hero’s sanity breaking, then the villain didn’t know what else would be.

“That happens sometimes,” the hero only huffed. They stared at their nemesis, thankfully not with that raw gaze anymore but nevertheless, the villain could only stare back. What even was this arrangement?

“Your happy ever after doesn’t seem so happy,” the villain said. “Shouldn’t all your problems disappear into thin air now?”

“They should.” The hero walked towards them. “Does it hurt?”

They were quick to touch the villain’s neck with their fingertips, pulling skin up until they could see the red and irritated parts beneath their collar. The hero pushed their thumb into the damaged skin and the villain couldn’t help but wince. Although they wanted to push the hero away, they couldn’t bring themselves to do so.

“Do you finally feel the weight of your actions? Do you finally know what consequences do?” the hero asked. Fucking hell, they were pissed. And the villain was fascinated by the anger that fuelled their enemy. The hero pulled their hand away and studied them for a second too long. They looked like they wanted to chop off the villain’s head.

Then, their fingers dug back into the villain’s throat gently.

“I have to deal with the mess you left the city with. Do you know how much work that requires?” they asked. “Do you know how much time I invest into this? Into taking care of you?”

“Interesting choice of words,” the villain said. They could only smile gently but that faded when out of a sudden, the hero’s hand came back down to the collar again.

“Do not even think for a second that you mean anything to me. I eat villains like you alive,” the hero said. They pulled on the collar and the pain around the villain’s neck was biting into them. It was sharp and merciless and it would leave the villain like this for a few more minutes.

“Fuck,” they cursed quietly but it didn’t help. It didn’t ease the pain and it didn’t change the villain’s feelings towards it.

“We may be stuck in this house together but you will not slip up under my command, got that? I’ve come too far to risk everything,” the hero explained. The palm of their hand found the villain’s cheek and almost tenderly, they stayed there, waiting for the villain’s protest.

But that never came.

Instead, the villain’s heart rate spiked and as they stared into the hero’s eyes, they found something true and vile. A darkness that had consumed both of them equally. It bound them together, made them one and even though the hero didn’t want this to be true, the villain feared they couldn’t deny this anymore.

“Did it make you happy when you arrested me?” the villain asked.

“Who wouldn’t be happy to catch someone as pretty as you?” the hero asked right back. They let go of the villain, looking as if they had to clear their head. And the villain was head over heels for their enemy’s growing frustration, for their violence and their tenderness, for their sweet and cruel words.

#yo ummm real quick this dude spent eight years studying barnacle dick #kick itttt #writing snippet #heroxvillain prompt #heroxvillain snippet #heroes and villains #hero #villain #hero x villain #heroxvillain #an answer for an ask #request #cruel hero #I guess?#little bit of #whump #maybe?

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late-night-jams · 4 months

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When you have nightmares so bad you wake up sweaty. I think this is why musk kink girls like me tbh

#little bit of #musk kink #for fun #?#puppy gf #changes a girl #:3

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bloodbruise · 4 months

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unassuming, asocial nurse evan who spends his spare time doing free back alley surgeries. in exchange, he gets to try the experimental surgical techniques he thinks up. he's an underachiever, never cared enough about school to go all the way; just wanted to get inside as soon as he could, but he's a fucking genius. like the man could run laps around some of the fellows at the hospital.

and barty badly needs a debridement procedure for the gash on his arm; its gross. fuckin' infected and necrotic--his arm is seriously fucked up, but he can't fuckin' pay for it. lily takes one look and decides barty's gonna die of septic shock if she doesn't figure something out. she fucked around with this girl though, couple months back. remembers something about her brother doing surgeries out of his garage. and barty is like, say less.

they get there--one look and barty is fucking obsessed. like off-putting and apathetic evan, who is just stoic when he pulls bartys arm closer to get a better look. not at all affected by barty's flirting or his attempts to impress evan with the story of how he even got the wound.

evan sends him home after the surgery, tells him to rest. but barty's up at 3 am, shoveling gushers into his mouth and washing them down with mountain dew. bandaged arm cradled gently against his side because evan didn't give him anything stronger than tylenol 500, googling "top ten easiest surgeries to recover from" just to have an excuse to see him again.

#and if i said evan only used local anesthesia and barty got hot when evan put his fingers in the [REDACTED]#..im sorry okay #rosekiller #little bit of #pandalily #barty crouch jr #evan rosier #marauders #lily evans #pandora rosier

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graveyardgremlins · 4 months

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I'm writting a DPXDC fanfic, which is Constantine centric and sorta trying to mimic the vibes from Hellblazer. So far it's just him pinning and yearning and feeling more guilt than the average catholic, while reseaching weird things that have been happening (It's Danny).

I'm going to do some small, background Dead on Main because I love them. There is going to be a little of Constantine/Zatanna, but they don't get together.

I'm thinking of calling it What thing worthy of love can be found in me? Thoughts?

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beanclam · 1 year

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HBD Best Boy Iggy! I just love him so much.

#ignis scientia #ffxv #little bit of #gladnis #fashion baby #final fantasy xv #he looks good as quistis #he looks good in most things

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smeddiemunson · 1 year

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56! Love a clueless flirting moment

thank you for the prompt @hamiltonsteele 🖤

56: "Are you flirting with me?"

The thing was Steve knew what his strengths were. Sure he couldn’t crack a Russian code in a matter of days and sure he couldn’t build a state of the art radio tower, but he did know how to read social cues.

“He’s definitely flirting with me, Rob. I’m telling you, I’d know.”

Robin sighed, dropping her head onto the Family Video front counter with a small thunk.

“We just don’t know that, do we?”

Steve bristled at her tone. Maybe they’d had this exact conversation three separate times before, and a variant of it at least another four, but Steve just couldn’t get it out of his head. Robin should be able to understand that.

Eddie flirted with him and it made him feel… nervous? Nervous wasn’t the right word though. His stomach would flip and his hands grew clammy but he wasn’t nervous. He wasn’t even sure he knew how to get nervous.

Steve opened his mouth to respond, to argue his case further, but stopped short when he saw Robin grinning at the door.

He turned to look in the same direction, scrambling for something to do when he realised Eddie was about to walk into Family Video. His hands landed on the tapes he had yet to reshelf— it was supposed to be a job he did as soon as they were returned and rewound but it was a slow day and no one was desperate to rent Hey There It’s Yogi Bear.

Eddie worked across the lot at Thatcher Tyre. It wasn’t a job he loved, he liked tinkering with cars and had to do so with his piece of shit van often enough, but he spent more time trying to do anything but work; which included finding excuses to bother Steve and Robin while they were on shift. Only the discount he gave to his boss, Thomas, on the wares of his side job saved him from being fired.

Whether it was the numerous concussions or the lack of air conditioning, something possessed Steve to turn to Robin before Eddie reached the door to say, “I’m going to flirt back and then you’ll see.”

Robin stared at him, mouth agape but somehow still seeming unimpressed for so long that Eddie reached the counter and was able to shoot her a concerned glance before he began speaking.

He coughed pointedly into his fist. “How are you two beautiful people on this fine day?”

Steve surreptitiously kicked Robin in the leg as he leant forward on the counter, resting the weight of his upper half on his elbows and crowding into Eddie’s space the same way that he always did to Steve.

“Much better now that you’re here.” He shifted to reach past Eddie to drop the tape back onto the re-shelving pile, successfully looking as if he’d done any work that morning. “We were just talking about you.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows, smirking slightly. “You were? I hope it was nothing bad.”

Steve chuckled slightly. “It’s always bad, but something tells me you don’t mind that.”

“Well,” Eddie’s smirk grew wider. “It depends if you prefer me bad.” He reached out to play with the zipper of Steve’s vest, the noise of the metal clicking against itself sounding louder than it should have in Steve’s ears.

He swallowed thickly. His brain was starting to conjure up images of exactly what Eddie meant about being bad. He’d seen the handcuffs, he’d heard a few stories told when they were high and had no inhibitions left. He didn’t think it was something he was interested in but maybe he was wrong.

It wasn’t fair that Eddie made him feel like this.

He glanced at Robin out of the corner of his eye.

She was still staring at him, but this time her expression was a mix between disappointment and intrigue. An interesting combination to be sure.

“So, what can we do for you, Eddie?” Robin asked, nudging at Steve until he was forced to stand up from the counter and out of Eddie’s space.

Steve glared at her when Eddie half turned to face the horror section. Posturing.

“Maybe I just wanted to see my favourite people,” Eddie batted his eyes lashes at Robin and rolled so he was looking up at her, belly up. “Maybe I would like a personalised recommendation from the only other person in this godforsaken town who understands real cinema.”

He stayed there, blinking and making a fool of himself until Robin groaned and rolled her eyes.

“Fine.” She moved over to the computer and Steve slid straight back into his spot.

Since Eddie was practically laid over the counter and Steve was deliberately pushing himself forward, they were closer than they’d probably ever been. Sure they had been close when they were high or drunk, using one another as legrests, pillows, blankets, but Steve had never gotten such a close look at Eddie while he was sober.

There was a lot of Eddie to look at, he made himself a lot to look at. From how clothes to the way he carried himself, everything about Eddie screamed “look at me!”

But there was one thing he just couldn’t take his eyes off.

“Did you change your shampoo?” He twisted one of the curls at the side of Eddie’s face around his pointer finger, marvelling at just how soft it was.

Eddie’s hair was a bit of a mystery. Steve had seen the products he used, 2-in-1 soap and nothing else, but it somehow worked for him.

Only now it looked shinier. Definitely healthier.

Eddie snorted. “Mrs Henderson sent some with Dustin last time I took him to the arcade. Said she had this kind of hair when she was growing up and if I don’t start looking after it now it’ll all fall out.”

Steve nodded, he knew that. There was an article about it in one of the magazines his mother always left on the coffee table.

He grew bolder combing his fingers through the strands, feeling their silkiness over and over again.

“It looks really good on you,” he said softly, almost distractedly.

“Stevie,” Eddie said slowly, deliberately. “Are you flirting with me?”

“Um,” Steve squeaked, he didn’t think he was going to be asked about it. “Yes?”

“Oh. Cool.”

“I’m sor—“ Steve pulled his hand out of Eddie’s hair to tuck it into the pocket of his work vest.

Eddie cut him off quickly. “Do you want to go out with me?”

Steve blinked. Somehow he hadn’t considered this as a possibility when he started.

“Like on a date?”

“Yes.”

Did he want to go on a date with Eddie?

Did he want to go on a date with a boy?

And when he thought about it, yes, he really did.

“Okay. Yeah.” Steve smiled. “Yeah, I would really like that.”

Eddie beamed at him. His whole face smiled when he did, his eyes crinkled and his tongue poked out slightly between his teeth, and he was perhaps the most beautiful thing Steve had ever seen.

And it took playing along with what Eddie was probably only doing as a joke for him to realise.

Maybe he was as stupid as Dustin like to say he was.

He laughed. He couldn’t help it.

“Do you want to grab a movie?”

Eddie took a second to respond, seemingly lost in whatever thoughts about Steve he was having. His pale cheeks pinked up as he realised.

“Yeah, I’ll just go—“ he turned on his heel and disappeared into the stacks with a murmured comment about having a date with Steve Harrington, who’d’ve thunk.

“Steve?” Robin asked.

Steve, distractedly trying to spy Eddie through the small gaps between the display stands, replied, “Yeah?”

“Is there something you want to tell me?”

“I think I might be bisexual.”

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #little bit of #stobin #I got carried away again #please don’t talk to me about how I’m terrible at flirting #just go with it okay?#also don’t talk to me about me posting this at 2:30am #I was watching hockey #my fantasy team is buzzin this year #also I submitted my first assignment today. one more to go then nothing until January!

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paarassha · 9 months

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#art #sketch #oc #oc art #little bit of #gotham #homestuck #and #fear and hunger

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e3ammm · 1 year

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Now availabe in every bookstore in Gotham

-- Be a safe & delightful trip with Joker!

#joker #little bit of #batjokes

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louistonehill · 2 years

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What’s your favorite character from Andor (besides Cassian)?

Kino Loy

No, you don't understand.

I was so disappointed to see everyone raving about Luthen. Who cares about Luthen Rael. He's a rich man with moral qualms who puts other people in danger while he sits on Coruscant and pulls the Strongs.

Good for him, he's eloquent. He probably went to a great school.

Kino and Luthen are foil to each other, and what amazing foil they are.

They're both rebel leaders, but they're two very different kinds. And while Luthen is the rich man playing at being the benevolent billionaire while destroying peoples lives

Kino is the union leader.

Kino talks about hope and solidarity, about lifting together and sharing the load. Kino talks about climbing because he knows the fight is backbreaking and hurts, and he knows and understands and sympathises enough to encourage everyone else to help each other.

Kino is from the bottom and he understands that we are never going to be free if we're not all free.

These two men both encompass two sides of the rebellion we see clashing in RogueOne, and the most beautiful thing is that just as Jyn proves Saw right again and again, so does Cassian and the entirety of Rogue One prove Kino right.

It is in solidarity, in abandoning social hierarchy, in lifting each other up and leaving no one behind, that Rogue One as a team of several dozen rebels, succeed in making the galaxy listen.

It is because Cassian abandons the darkness, the sacrifice of others, (abandons the kind of rebel Luthen made him embody) and climbs because he refuses to let his partner be lost or confused or alone, that he manages to get there in time to shoot KRennick and empower Jyn to speak to the entire galaxy.

Kino Loy spoke solidarity back into cinema and I love his character so much for it.

#Kino loy #andor #more rambles #little bit of #meta #anon #ask meme

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jyndor · 2 years

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CASSIAN ANDOR / hope in the air, laura marling

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queenburd · 3 months

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A collection of Stanleys. (And a stray narrator.)

#the sparrow parable #parable actors #little bit of #hey is it alright if I keep calling out your name?

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burritowitch · 1 year

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#just try and tell me this isnt exactly them #stephcass #little bit of #timsteph #tim drake #stephanie brown #cassandra cain

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trentcrimminallybeautiful · 11 months

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a sequel to this (more "trent being a disaster" silliness and thumbs up tomfoolery!)

for @mvshortcut; without whom this would not have happened!

(ao3.)

Alex Carmichael still doesn’t entirely know what to make of Trent Crimm.

He’s well aware of the man’s reputation, but it had been weeks, and no article had dropped—not so much as a whisper. As far as he or Seth could tell, there was no story being dropped, no rumors flying.

Trent Crimm had definitely seen them, but he had, apparently, told no one.

More perplexingly, he had given them one (1) single thumbs up.

What on earth they were supposed to do with this, Alex wasn’t sure. Seth was pretty sure it was an attempt at a white flag—more we come in peace than we surrender, but still.

Alex didn’t really care, so long as Crimm didn’t publish an article about it. Which he didn’t. So whatever.

Best not to think about it.

And then, months later, they were at a relatively normal press conference, and Alex was in the back of the room watching his gaffer yak on about whatever, and he spots Trent Crimm in the crowd of reporters, with his notebook, being a normal reporter.

And, like it’s fate, he looks up and sees Alex.

Not unlike the moment in the club, it would be the sort of moment in which time should really be slowing down dramatically.

Because, well. Alex had the potential to do something very funny right now. And Alex has always liked being funny. Probably why he got called a little shit so often.

Alex looks the journalist right in the eyes. He is doing an impressive impression of a steady person who isn’t nervous at all.

And before he can casually look away, Alex slowly raises one hand, and gives him a thumbs up.

Trent—blinks. And then Alex gets the rare, singular joy of watching Trent Crimm briefly, but very visibly, regret having ever been born.

Alex puts his hand down, but no one else seems to have noticed, nor are they noticing that Alex is still staring down one journalist in particular.

Trent puts a hand up to his forehead, thumb to the temple and fingers covering his eyes, like he’s exhausted, clearly no longer paying attention to the press conference.

And then, after a painful moment, still not looking up or removing his hand from his face, returns the thumbs up.

This is the greatest moment of Alex Carmichael’s life.

Alex and Seth make a game of it after that.

They don’t go out of their way to see Trent Crimm, but, you know, if he’s there…

The funny thing is, he always returns it. Even when he looks deeply embarrassed. They’ve never spoken a word to him, but he always returns the thumbs up.

At one point Alex watches as one of his neighboring colleagues, frowning, leans over to ask him something Alex can’t hear, to which Trent Crimm snaps at them defensively and they hold their hands up in a show of defeat.

Alex is pretty sure Seth was right by now. It was also funny, because, well, the rumors didn’t stop—they still heard about what a ruthless wanker Trent Crimm apparently was, saw him eviscerate someone in an interview with a few calm words and a raised eyebrow, saw his articles which were, while not generally cruel or even always mean, certainly sharp.

He's exactly the man they were afraid of when they saw him. And he’s also the man that gives them a mortified little thumbs up every time they see him, just because. And he’s the man who’s never told a soul.

There’s a particularly nasty article from Trent Crimm one evening—not about either of them, but a teammate—and while it’s not necessarily unfair, and it’s certainly not dishonest, it is harsh. And, you know, that’s their teammate.

So when Trent looks over at them—which he always does now, when they’re there, like habit, they both give him matching, solemn thumbs downs.

Trent Crimm’s eyes widen. His face visibly falls. What the fuck. Why does Alex feel like he just kicked a puppy.

Beside him, Seth wavers. He tilts his hand so that the thumbs down is now sideways, with a sort of half-apologetic grimace. Alex elbows him. Seth hisses something along the lines of look at his face.

Alex looks back at Trent Crimm. The rest of the press conference is continuing around them, unnoticing and undeterred. Trent Crimm is apparently oblivious to this, because he is staring directly at them with huge eyes.

What the hell.

Alex refuses to retract his thumbs down.

Trent Crimm looks quietly miserable the rest of the press conference. He does not ask any questions.

(The next press conference, which is business-as-usual as far as Trent’s articles and Levels of Badness (thanks Lilo) go, Seth gives him a double thumbs up.

He genuinely brightens, and Alex would like to know when this became his life. He gives a thumbs up, too. Just one. Which Trent returns, because of course he does. How had this running joke become something else? Whatever this was? What the hell?)

(And since when did Trent Crimm give a damn what anyone thought of him? Or light up under the simple, mind-numbingly vague praise of a single thumbs up? Again, Alex must reiterate: what the hell?)

One of the other players asks Alex what the fuck’s up with him, Seth, and Trent Crimm.

Don’t Worry About It, Alex says. He eyes Alex skeptically, but doesn’t push it.

When asked, Seth chirps, “We’re all part of the same secret underground cult,” to which he is clapped on the back and told if you didn’t want to answer you could have just said so, mate.

In private, Alex reminds Seth that being gay isn’t a cult. Seth says it’s “close enough”. Alex squints at him and decides this joke isn’t worth elaborating on further.

Alex finds himself actually checking for Trent’s articles now. Fuck, when did he start thinking of him as Trent?

They’ve literally never said a word to the man outside of the very occasional professional and brief comment or what-have-you, during which there were always many other people.

And yet.

They might have a completely unique perspective on the man. I mean, obviously they didn’t know much about his personal life, but at the very least, in the professional sports world, no one quite knew Trent Crimm the way they did, albeit in a strange and distant sort of way.

And anyway, admittedly, things have taken an interesting turn. Trent primarily covers AFC Richmond, which is why they didn’t necessarily see him regularly.

His preliminary article on the new gaffer is scathing, although for once, Alex can’t really fault him for it. He’s ruthless in the press room—hell, that offside rule question was just kind of mean, but Alex could respect he was proving a point (or really, driving it home).

And then there was his next article. It was… bemusing. And although hardly glowing, that last line—but I can’t help but root for him—is telling indeed.

(Their usual thumbs up was exchanged, as usual, once in this interval.)

And it wasn’t as if Alex or Seth knew Trent Crimm well—in fact, they very much didn’t—nor was it as if this whole thing, whatever it was, was an enormous part of their lives. Once it became clear that they were not being outed, it was, in fact, not a big deal at all.

If anything, it was kind of amazing Alex and Seth were still together at all—albeit very discreetly—and that not a lot else had changed.

But all of this to say, despite it not exactly being a huge thing in their lives, they still took notice when Trent began taking—an odd turn.

The thumbs up thing largely remained the same. But his press conferences at Richmond—less so.

Seth insisted Trent had a thing for the new gaffer, which, frankly, didn’t seem far out of the realm of possibility.

(Seth wanted to make a little mustache with his pointer finger and then do a particularly enthusiastic thumbs up next time they saw him to show their support, but Alex pointed out that their little thumbs up game was already noticeable, if dismissible as a strange joke—that would be far easier to decode into something dangerous. Seth reluctantly acquiesced.)

Anyway, it was weird, but not that concerning.

Okay, it was a little concerning now.

The day Trent Crimm’s article drops on Coach Lasso’s panic attacks, Alex says, “Oh, shit,” and Seth wonders if maybe he was wrong about his thing with the gaffer entirely.

They are definitely planning to pull out the big guns (aka: the Double Thumbs Down Of Doom) only to find that he isn’t in the press room at all.

“What the fuck,” Seth whispers.

They find out he got himself fired.

“What the fuck,” Seth whispers.

So is that just it? Their weird little thumbs up game is over forever now?

Weirdly, Alex feels cheated. What the hell, Trent?

It’s not like they’re likely to just run into each other on the street. He’s half a mind to find the man’s email just so he can send him a single blank email with the subject line “👍”.

Or possibly “👎” but honestly, kicking a man while he was down just seemed unnecessary.

“Alex, you are not going to believe this,” said Seth.

Trent was writing a book about Richmond. About that gaffer.

Was it weird to be proud of him?

“Not at all,” Seth said. “He’s like our son. Our weird, endearing, twice-our-age, journalist son, who we have never spoken a word to.”

Yeah, that tracked.

Seeing him for the first time in-person as a former journalist was bizarre. They were at some boring press event, with multiple teams, that, let’s be honest, the author can’t be fucked to give you a good explanation for, because this is a crack fic and he’s been up since god knows when and it’s 7 am now, and they spot him across the room.

He appears to be talking to Coach Lasso, and waving his hands animatedly, more excited than they’ve ever seen him. Lasso is watching him like he’s the most fascinating thing he’s ever seen. They’re tucked in the back corner—Alex only spotted them at all because he’d been looking for a quiet place to retreat to a bit for a breather—and Trent looks… relaxed.

He doesn’t look like the fearsome journalist they’d been terrified of outing them, or like the man who, only a few years ago, had asked a rather mean question of the very man he was talking to, on live television, just to prove a point.

In fact, Alex is pretty sure he’s looking at the dork that gave him and his boyfriend a thumbs up in a gay bar and then immediately ran away.

Perhaps this is why he does what he does next, which is an entirely impulsive action.

He cups his hands over his mouth and calls, “Hey, Trent!”

Trent Crimm jumps, startled, and then looks over in his direction. And his mouth falls open. Lasso turns to look his way, too, then, unperturbed, looks back to Trent and says something inaudible in the crowd.

Trent doesn’t take his eyes off Alex, though. Alex gives him a double thumbs up.

Trent—flushes. Ducks his head and says something to Lasso. Lasso beams. Lasso turns to him and gives him a big thumbs up. Trent, still hiding his face, more openly mortified than he’s been since the first time, gives a considerably smaller thumbs up.

Alex takes his eyes off them for a second, wondering where Seth has wandered off to, and when he looks back they are headed towards him. Or, more accurately, Lasso is cheerfully headed towards him, while Trent is trailing behind him like a lost duckling or a dog being dragged balefully forward by his leash.

“Heya!” says Lasso brightly. Trent Crimm, Thumbs Up Extraordinaire, says nothing.

Before Alex can say anything, Seth, who had apparently been approaching from behind, says, “Ooh, are we talking to Trent now? Hi, Trent! Hi, Trent’s new muse!”

Trent made a strangled noise. Alex elbowed Seth, hard. Lasso seemed unfazed.

“Howdy!” he says, like a fucking stereotype. “How do y’all know Trent? He refuses to elaborate.”

“He’s our son,” Seth said without missing a beat.

“I am not,” says Trent Crimm, the first words he has actually said out loud to them outside of a professional capacity.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. and Mr. Crimm,” says Lasso with zero fucking hesitation. Alex likes him.

“Ted, they’re at least a decade younger than me,” says Trent. “If anything, they’d be my sons.”

“Incorrect,” said Alex. “You’re our son now, sorry.”

“How,” said Trent.

“…Creatively,” said Seth thoughtfully, “And with science.”

“Science can do wonderful things,” Lasso agreed gamely.

“How did we even get to this idea,” said Trent, sounding exasperated and pinching the bridge of his nose. “Walk me through the thought process here.”

“No comment,” said Alex. Seth just shrugged.

This was how they somehow ended up spending at least an hour or two in the company of Trent Crimm.

Lasso did leave at one point (during which Seth immediately turned to Trent and said “is he our son-in-law?” and made him choke on his drink) but he wandered back eventually.

It was—well. extremely weird. And hardly a normal progression of a relationship. But perhaps the weirdest part was how not weird it felt—Trent Crimm seemed to have relaxed substantially. They’d already noticed this on some level, but talking to him up close, it was even more obvious.

The dissonance all those years ago between the ruthless reporter everyone was wary of, that they were wary of, and the awkward, trying-his-best gesture of a thumbs up of all things, was no longer here. The two pictures had blended into one: Trent Crimm, former journalist and current biographer, who was both sharp-tongued and a complete dork.

(They did end up baffling any guests who came too close, except for Lasso, who seemed to just be taking it in stride even though Trent had been firm that he hadn’t told him how they’d met.

“It’s like I said,” Seth said sagely. “Trent’s like our son. Our middle-aged journalist son who we’ve only ever exchanged thumbs ups with. As you do.”

“Still better fathers than my father,” muttered Trent into his drink, definitely not intending to be heard.

“Oh, so you’ve chosen to finalize the adoption,” Alex says as Seth begins to vibrate.

Ms. Welton looked like she didn’t know how to react to any of these statements, which was fair. Seth is currently trying to convince Trent they should “play catch sometime”.)

In the end, they do get his email (Alex sends him a message with the subject line “👍” that just reads “hello son” to which he receives an email with the subject line “👎” and no body at all) and leave feeling considerably lighter.

Eventually this will result in:

Alex and Seth meeting their honorary grandchild, one (1) Isadora Crimm, affectionately dubbed “The Crimmlet”, much to Trent’s chagrin.

They will teach The Crimmlet the thumbs up thing and she be thrilled about this. (Also much to Trent’s chagrin.)

You would think it would be Seth that would get drunk, find the phone number of Trent’s father, and prank call him, but you would be wrong. It was Alex.

Alex pleasantly informs him they have adopted is son and he is now sonless. “Pleasantly” here can be defined as “shouting, loudly”.

Trent also meets Seth’s parents (Alex’s are Not To Be Spoken Of) and they, unfortunately, love him. Mischief brews.

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Through a series of shenanigans and plot happenings… son-in-law acquired.

“I KNEW he had a thing for Lasso!” Seth crows.

Jamie would like to know why Trent gets a thumbs up for his signal and he gets a very different finger.

Through yet more Happenings and Tomfoolery, Seth and Alex get married. They both tried to propose on the same day, and the ensuing chaos of two wildly conflicting dramatic proposals happening on top of each other nearly resulted in a few arrests. Trent is not the best man but he is certainly in attendance.

They ask him if he wants to be flower girl. He very nearly takes them up on it out of spite.

Generally, while the strange Thumbs Up Arrangement™ had been funny, actually getting to know the man—and being known in return—was better. Wildly unexpected and deeply bizarre, but better. He was a good friend.

But all that’s later, and considerably more chapters than the author can afford. You know it’s past 7 pm now? Since writing those words, one sentence later, it is now 10 pm.

For now, Seth and Alex end up in the same bed after a long night, and they kiss, and then they’re not thinking about Trent Crimm or any thumbs, up or otherwise, for a while.

#my writing #snippet #trent crimm #ridiculous nonsensical crack as is my brand #little bit of #tedependent #for the soul

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