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youn9racha · 2 years

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Wet Dreams

requested by: anon

pairing: bff!felix x bff!reader

genre: smut

synopsis: felix developed an odd and sexually frustrating infatuation towards you, to the point he has dreams of things he would wish to do to you, yet he has to hide it from you so as to not drive you away from him, until on a certain night came that made reveal everything...

warning: piv, sexual dreams, perv!felix, some perv!reader, masturbation (both fem and masc), voyeurism (?), blow jobs, rushed ending

words: 3.1 k

a/n: ik i said i was gonna do a chan smut, but i intially was set with this lix fic that never seemed to finish, but thankfully i did <3 idk if anon is inactive or not (hopefully not) but if you're still active hopefully you enjoyed it <33

This is no way representative of the way Stray Kids act. They’re nothing but references of character, and in no shape or form is this how they act. And I am in no way romanticizing or glamorizing any toxic behavior exhibited, they’re just stories that is meant to be read. Readers discretion is advised.

“Mmh, yes Felix, you fuck me so well!”

Your whines echo through every corner of the room as Felix inserts himself in and out of you at a good amount of speed where it was fast and hard enough to give you pleasure. He looks down with grunts and heavy breathing, seeing your breasts bounce along with the rhythm of his cock hitting the right spots through his blissed-haze vision.

“Oh, God, (y/n), do I—mm—do I fuck you good?” Usually, he would have felt pathetic at the way he whined out the question, but at that moment he did not care about how his usual deep vocals turned into a high pitch mewl, he finally got to feel you in a way he never would have thought of being in; fucking his crush, his best friend, and making you feel so good as he would hope.

“Yes, yes, you do,” you repeated the ‘yes’ like a prayer indicating how well he is performing as the head, as well as the loud pornographic-like moans that spill out of your mouth. It triggered something within Felix as he suddenly found himself going faster in you, making you straight call out his name, hoping that he could make you come with him simultaneously.

“Oh, Felix! Oh fuck, I’m so close!”

He whines and groans as he grips onto your hips to make his penetration deeper, “me too, baby—ah! Fuck! Please come with me…”

He begged as he was going faster but suddenly, he noticed her voice was silent. Fearing he was hurting you, he slowed down and regained his vision only for you to suddenly disappear and see a body pillow in place of you. He blinked in a confused and sat straight as he wiped the sweat off his forehead and looked around the room to look for you.

“(Y/n)?” Felix called out as he suddenly heard a whisper, that vaguely sounds a lot like you, and is repeating the phrase repeatedly.

“Wake up, Felix… Wake up…”

And suddenly Felix felt his eyes open up to the ceiling, gasping for air and panting. He got up and looked around his room for reassurance that what just happened was a reality or dream. He looks at the time and sees it was 4 a.m. He sighs in frustration into his hand and shakes his head. “Another fucking dream,” he mutters as he wipes his face down before widening them again. He throws his blanket away and looked down at his boxer shorts only to see them stained in a big dark patch in the center.

“Ugh, fucking hell,” he cringed, “it’s like middle school all over again… it’s too much,”

This was Felix’s third wet dream of the week. Recently Felix has been getting those erotic dreams and you would think he would enjoy them, which he won’t lie and say he doesn’t, but he was mildly disturbed over how repetitive those dreams were. They were practically the same; Felix fucking someone repeatedly and then gets rudely interrupted as soon he was about to come. But it wasn’t just anyone, it was you.

You and Felix have been friends for as long as you two could remember. You two went far back and enjoyed each other’s company, so much so that recently you both moved in together to make living easier and affordable. He always has thought of you somewhat platonically for the most part. He didn’t know where the sudden romantic—sexual—admiration come from; all he knows is that since the moment he realized he had developed feelings for you, he had been dreaming about you in a not-so-amicable way.

He feels guilt, but the sight of you splayed out naked for him truly sets him off and these dreams are not helping him in any cause. It’s all he thinks about when he jerks off as well, he would envision his fist to be your warm walls wrapped around his cock and just ride him all day and night. It doesn’t help that the minute things you would do would trigger it; like when you laugh at a bad joke of his or wear something simple like a sundress with a ponytail on, just the small things you could do would make him hard instantly. But he couldn’t risk throwing away years of friendship for his sexual needs, he would push that to the side for its sake. So, it's just him and his hand or perhaps his fleshlight for now.

Flash forward to today, where Felix got up from his bed to take his boxer off and switch it out for a new one. Once wore a new fresh pair, he noticed himself starting to lose sleep. He didn’t bother trying to go back to sleep, especially since he doesn’t have work today, so what’s the harm in staying up? Felix got out of his room to the hallway to wash his face and brush his teeth. On his way there he passed your room and paused as if he was a deer seeing headlights. if it weren’t for his slight alertness, he would have missed the whimpers that came out of your room.

Felix furrowed his brows in confusion at the sound especially when he got back and got closer to your door. Initially, he thought you were in pain of some sort, as you were muttering a bunch of ‘ah’s and ‘fuck’s. Whatever that is happening didn’t stop him from the blood getting to his head, and he ended up grumbling at himself for letting himself feel turned on by the noises you were making. You could be genuinely in pain, and he’s over here being grossly aroused by your hisses. But his guilt faded as he heard his name in a dragged-out, almost pleasurable, moan.

“Felix… mmm…”

Felix had his eyes widened as he realized the two possibilities of what was happening behind the door; you were either masturbating to the thought of him or also been having a raunchy dream.

“Fuck…” Felix muttered to himself as he got closer to the door, to have a better hearing. He sees that the door is slightly open, not too wide where he could notice, but enough where he can see your bed. The lower part of your body was covered, but you were laying naked in bed, one hand was on your breast, pinching your nipple, and the other was also covered by the door, but it is a no-brainer that you were pleasuring yourself. Not just pleasuring yourself though, but you were masturbating to the thought of him, Felix, your best friend. The mere sight of you calling out his name and playing with your tits could easily make Felix come on his pants.

While he hates to admit it, Felix felt like a pervert from the moment he started having dreams of you in a bawdy way. He likes to maintain his usual respectful demeanor and banters with you as friends would, but it doesn’t change the fact each time you show any skin, whether it’d be your cleavage or your thighs or any body parts you show, he’d want to take you at this moment. His disgusting thoughts about ways to make you scream out his name inhabit his brain without paying rent and it’s not like he’s going to send an eviction letter, especially not at this moment.

Who would have thought that this whole time you must have thought of Felix the same way he does of you?! Certainly not him. Either he’s an oblivious person who doesn’t read between the lines or you were good at hiding your signs of interest, he would have not thought you felt the same due to you actively going out on dates. ‘That must explain the failed relationships’ he thought to himself.

He pushed that thought to the side and proceeded to look at you pleasuring yourself, but this time he begins palming himself, as he admires you from afar, and enjoys being the audience. He sees your out-of-view hand start to go faster, followed by the squelching noises of presumably your fingers going in and out collecting your juices and your moans getting louder before you slow down, presumable edging yourself. The sight of you sighing in your masochistic decision to stop before going back to pick up where you left off drove Felix insane as he took his cock out and started to stroke along at your pace, biting his lips to not make a sound.

‘What am I doing? This is so messed up, regardless of if she’s thinking of me or not’ Felix was thinking rationally but it was too late for that, especially not when he already is jerking off. The pace of his hand matches up with yours, even as far as edging himself when you do so, but he had to keep his lip bitten to not reveal himself being in this situation.

“Oh… Felix…” you hissed out as you started to pick up the pace once again and Felix does the same. You found yourself finally almost orgasming but stopped. This time however wasn’t because of your conscious choice. Felix wanted to have a greater look at you, and his attempt to open the door slightly but not enough to alert you failed miserably as the creak of the door deafens the room, replacing it with the sound of your heavy breathing and wet noises.

You gasped as you closed your legs and covered yourself with the blanket as you looked at the door. You see Felix in the doorway, “Felix, what are you doing—” your words were interrupted as you noticed his compromising position; he was hunched slightly with his hand holding the shaft of his cock, as if he were rubbing one out. You two looked at each other flabbergasted as you two realized what was happening.

“Were you looking at me this whole time?” you shyly asked.

“Uh… yeah,” Felix responded equally bashful.

“Well… why didn’t you come in?”

Your question caught him off guard, even though it shouldn’t, considering the obvious call out for his name while you were rubbing your swollen clit and inserting your fingers, imagining him instead of your digits. It was rather dumb, and he sure should have walked in, but it was too late, especially since his hand was already on his hard cock.

“Um… well… I-I didn’t know if you’d react negatively, even though you were calling out my name and such…” Felix nervously rambled, letting go of his shaft and placing it back in his boxer, and proceeded to fidget with his hand. He notices that you were staring at his cock which looks like it was about to burst through his shorts, and he could only gulp as he blushes at the way you were looking at him, eyes filled with lust.

“Come here,” you seductively invited by facing him and sitting on the edge of your bed. Felix obliged as he walked up to you, you put on fake innocent eyes as you were looking up at Felix as you pushed down his boxer shorts. His glistening head was freed from its restrain and slapped Felix’s lower stomach, shuddering in response. You looked down at his cock, slightly drooling at the sight, getting on your knees before having your eyes up at him as you wrap your hand around it.

“Tell me, Felix, how long have you thought of me?” You said whilst stroking him, squeezing at the ideal places to elicit any noises coming out of him, which worked as he moaned in pleasure rather than answering your question. “Has it been long?” You asked, still maintaining the slow pace.

Felix could only mewl as a response, but he managed to nod at your question, making you smile and tilt your head in curiosity, “words, Lixie…”

“Y-yes, been thinking about you… for…fuck.”

His words were scrambled, incoherent in response. You would edge him right there, but you decided against it, thinking it wasn’t the right time. Instead, you smiled at him before you lowered your gaze to his cock and then back to him as you slowed your hand movement. Felix had his mouth agape, unsure of what was to come, but that quickly changed when you wrapped your lips around him, letting out strings of moans coming from him. He started to pant when you began to bob your head, looking up at him teasingly while you swallowed him whole, his head hitting the back of your throat. He fought every urge to not buck himself into you, but the pleasure you were giving him was making him go wild.

He feels himself getting closer and he begins to cry out and whines, “(y/n), I’m so close… stop… I don’t want to come like this…”

You enjoyed hearing how his deep voice was transformed into a high-pitched subby mewls, which you carried on bobbing to elicit more of his cute sounds. However, what you didn’t expect was having your hair pulled back by Felix, pulling your mouth out of his cock, creating a pop sound. He held a gentle yet firm grip on your hair, facing you up at him, as he pants and hisses at the sensation of the air-conditioned cold air hitting his saliva-coated cock.

“I said, I don’t want to come like this…” He whispered, his dark eyes lasered back at you, “get on the bed.”

His submissive side suddenly disappeared and in came this side of Felix you didn’t expect to see, which you didn’t mind whatsoever. You instantly obliged as he strips his shirt off and reveal his defined toned body to you, the body you’ve examined for so long. You weren’t completely innocent either in the realm of perversion, you had spied on Felix when he changes and/or showered, and you would ogle him the same how he would look at you the same way.

Your memory lane was disrupted when you heard the door shut, you looked up at Felix and see him carry a foil wrapper of a condom which he ripped with his teeth. He must have gotten a spare from his room while you were reminiscing, but it doesn’t matter as you prepared yourself by spreading your legs while he takes the protective cover and wraps it around his cock, pumping it slightly to make sure it stays secure. You bit your bottom lip in excitement as you looked up to him while he lines himself against your glistening hole.

“Ready?”

“Go all in…”

That’s all Felix needs as he inserts himself within your velvet walls, resulting in strings of moans and curses coming from both of you. After a few adjustments, Felix began moving in a steady motion to be cautious and fearing to not harm you. While you admired his kind gesture, you felt that you weren’t going anywhere if Felix kept at this pace.

“Go deeper, Felix,” you breathed out against his ear. He looked at you, his freckled face flushed in ensuing pleasure, “what?” he blurted out, his sense of self-being slightly out of it.

You took it upon yourself by wrapping your legs around his waist, your heel digging into his bare back made him realize what you were saying, and almost instantly Felix started to pick up speed and drill further in you just as you were told.

Your moans echoed exactly how you would in his dream, he lifted himself off you to have a good look at you as his cock constantly bore itself in and out of you. This was exactly like his last dream, you splayed out in your bed, breasts bounced to the beat of his cock slamming into the desired spot, skin slapping, and moans of each other’s names coming from both of your mouths were the only sounds being played in the room. His hand gripped your hips firmly as you yelped out his name and whined along with it as your head falls back.

Felix began running his hand through your whole body as he groans out about how good you feel around him.

"Oh, god, (y/n) ... you feel… so fucking good,” he breathed out followed by a groan as you occasionally clench around him. “Oh, how I wish this wasn’t a dream,” he mutters, not realizing what he was saying, which made you chuckle through your moans.

“Oh, baby, this is no dream…” Your voice was cut by your uncontrollable moan before continuing, “this is too good to be a dream…”

The way you were speaking to him drives him even more insane as he speeds up and his growls increase in volume, as well as your mewls and yelps. You felt your ropes tighten to the point of it snapping, “Lixie… I’m so fucking close…”

Felix was not far away from you as shown by the irregular speed and depth he was going, so he began encouraging you to come along with him. After a few more thrusts in and out of you, he came inside the condom with you following along after he thrusts in you to make you reach your orgasm and to slightly overstimulate himself.

After catching both of your breaths, Felix pulled himself away from you and removed the condom off himself before tying it and throwing it in the trash. You could only lay there still panting at the ungodly yet unbelievably pleasant session you had with your so-called best friend. You see him walking up to you to sit next to your laying body, unsure if the red face was from abashment or from the sex you two just had. How can he act all shy and cute as if he didn’t fuck you so good you almost saw God?

“Hey, you alright?” he asked in a caring manner while massaging my side. Can’t believe those caring hands were the same that bruised my hips… can’t say I’m one to complain.

“I’m doing excellent, you?”

“Oh, I’m doing wonderful,” he responded enthusiastically, his Australian accent thickened for some reason. You two looked at each other admiration spread through your gazes. Neither of you knew where all this was coming from, but you two didn’t care; the appreciation you two have for each other was very prevalent by the second each time you two hung out. While you two are too tired to speak of this matter, you were certain that he is feeling the same you were feeling and could possibly make a change in the relationship… but hopefully for the better.

And to think this all started from a messed-up dream you both had for each other…

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gay-disabled-characters-showdown · 16 days

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LGBTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 1, Wave 2, Poll 5

A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included.

Check out the other polls in this wave and prior here.

Riku-Kingdom Hearts

Qualifications/Propaganda:

So Riku is neither canonically LGBTQ+ nor canonically disabled but there's quite a slew of subtextual evidence. And this subtext is considered basically canon due to the creator's (Tetsuya Nomura) stance on media, which is that he enjoys leaving clues for players to figure out. So while Riku is never explicitly said to be queer or disabled, there's clear evidence on both accounts.

So first: Riku is gay. There's no doubt about it (despite what the dudebros insist...) Riku is gay for Sora, his childhood best friend/former rival. Long story short, Riku was afraid of Sora's friendship with this girl Kairi, didn't realize those feelings were gay jealousy, and he got gaslighted by the Mistress of All Evil, MALEFICENT HERSELF, into believing that Sora didn't care for him anymore. He went Dark Mode, destroyed their home, and antagonized Sora for most of the first game. But then he gets trapped in the Realm of Darkness after Sora kicked his ass for the millionth time and he realized how *sora voice* stUpid he was being and helps Sora stop the apocalypse (saved the world counter: 1) Then Riku goes through a whole arc of "wow i was an idiot. sora will never forgive me and i have Darkness in my heart and i need to protect sora while he's in a year-long medically-induced coma to undo his amnesia" and. idk. theres a Lot of stuff. So much so that someone made a 6-HOUR video essay about it! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ll17V9DJr7g)

Riku is also likely suffering from chronic pain. Throughout the year that Sora is in a coma, he fights Sora's Nobody, Roxas, to get Sora's memories back. During the fight, Roxas breaks Riku's wrist, and it never heals correctly. Throughout the finale of Kingdom Hearts 2, the next game chronologically, Riku wears a wrist brace that goes largely unexplained. During the final boss fight, Riku throws himself in the way of Xemnas (the Big Bad) to protect Sora, getting hurt twice in the process; being struck so hard in the shoulder that he's flung halfway across the battlefield, and then hit in the side so badly that it causes him to collapse as soon as the adrenaline from the fight fades. It's likely that none of these injuries healed properly, as even in Kingdom Hearts 3 (which is like 5 games later. dont ask) he has some interesting tells; his walk is incredibly stiff and his battle stance changes, likely because of the strain put on his wrist for the old stance. (https://www.tumblr.com/nobodyriku/706960754548604929 shows this pretty well, though i can't find the other post i had in mind but whatever)

Anything Else?:

soriku endgame actually <3

Darth Maul-Star Wars

Qualifications:

Maul is canonically disabled; he was bisected at the waist by one Obi-Wan Kenobi, but SOMEHOW did not die, and was in fact teleported into a garbage dump, where he proceeded to live as a spider cyborg for the next 12 years, when he was found and rescued by his long-lost brother. He has used prosthetic legs of one kind or another ever since, and in Rebels, he uses a cane. He is also definitely gay. In The Clone Wars cartoon, he is OBSESSED with Obi-Wan, to the point that Obi-Wan is his entire personality and the entirety of his life goals. All he wants is to kill him and cause him suffering in revenge for being cut in half and subsequently abandoned by his master. However, this obsession is. Definitely homoerotic. Dude fights Obi-Wan naked at one point (the animators forgot that people with prosthetic legs still have to wear pants). He literally builds a hate shrine to Obi-Wan's dead ex-girlfriend, who he killed, AFTER he kills her. In Rebels, once he is able to merge the two holocrons and ask any question he wants, he asks where Obi-Wan is. The answer is Tatooine, of course. He goes there, has one final fight with Obi-Wan, and is fatally wounded. HOWEVER. He dies in Obi-Wan's arms. He dies being HELD GENTLY by Obi-Wan. I cannot adequately explain how insane that is. Makes me froth at the mouth. Anyway.

Propaganda:

I love this severely fucked-up dude so much. He dedicated almost 20 years of his life to a single-minded obsession with Obi-Wan Kenobi, an obsession which literally kept him alive when he was chopped in half in a garbage pit, stuck in a hole on Planet Sith, and just generally attempting to live after being raised for nothing but violence as a child. He is missing half his bones, many vital organs, and got his two biggest blood vessels sliced right open, and yet REFUSED to die. He then became a spider cyborg. The first thing he did when coming onboard the Ghost was critique the interior design. He took over an entire planet just to get a guy to notice him. He was kidnapped as a child and tortured nonstop for the first 20 years of his life, resulting in an attachment style where he can only conceptualize relationships as a hierarchy (master/apprentice), so he searches constantly for an apprentice, and even treats his brother as one; despite how he very clearly just wanted a brother, he didn't know how to be in an equal relationship. He does absolutely nothing but cause problems for people-- be they Jedi or Sith. Ahsoka once released him from a magic strait-jacket as a "distraction" and he immediately began tearing panels off of the walls and decapitating people with them. He has a death grip on my brain.

Submitted by @convenient-plot-device

#polls #poll #disabled characters #lgbtq characters #disability #lgbtq #lgbtq dcs round 1 #lgbtq dcs wave 2 #riku kingdom hearts #riku #kingdom hearts #darth maul #star wars

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itsjaywalkers · 29 days

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Hello!hope ur having a good day :) <33

I was wondering if u wanted to share some trans reg hc, could be overall or like the boxing au one, or anything rly.

Like who was the first person he came out to, how/when did he realise, how does he deal with dysphoria- what gives him dysphoria/euphoria, and maybe how would it translate into like relationship and sexlife, would he be able to go ahead without any/much dysphoria, or would he have to have sex a ‘specific way(?? Idk??)’ to make it work?

A lot of question I know, and u don’t have to answer if it makes u uncomfortable or anything, I just wanted to hear more about your headcanons about this.

//a trans guy who is obsessed with trans reg, and ur writing

hi darling!! i have today off so i am . in fact . having a great day <3 i hope yours is treating u kindly too!!

and ofc i want to!! i'm gonna do it boxer au based, since reg's trans experience isn't the same in every story!! and don't worry, i'm happy to answer ur questions!! it doesn't make me uncomfy in the slightest, trans reg is very special to me too for many reasons and i loveeee talking about him <3

the first person he came out to was sirius!! this is my Truth almost always no matter the fic. it changes sometimes, if he takes longer to realise and he and sirius have a complicated relationship but !! in the boxer au they get along great and they're very close, so reg told sirius first!!

sirius already had his suspicions tho, and they had a lot of long deep convos about gender. he helped reg figure himself out and supported him every step of the way

in the boxer au, he realised quite young!! he was never completely comfortable in his own body, but since he was a very awkward and . odd . kid everyone attributed it to reg just not being 'normal' in general. when puberty hit it got worse tho, and even tho everyone told him it'd pass and that puberty wasn't supposed to feel good or fun, reg knew there was something else

sirius also noticed there was something going on with his brother, so he tried to help him in every way he could. he lent him his clothes whenever reg asked (even tho it was always kind of begrudgingly), convinced their parents to allow him to wear his hair short, bought him oversized clothes and called him by his nickname and never his actual name

but i think the moment it actually hit reg was when he got mistaken by a boy one time he got out of school and went to his father's office to wait for him. the receptionist assumed he was sirius, and it finally clicked for him

he didn't tell sirius immediately tho. he researched a lot first, almost obsessively, and he doubted himself all of the time, having these moments in which . he was afraid he was actually somehow making it all up in his mind

reg was very scared of change, and this was a very big One. he knew sirius would support him no matter what, but there's always fear yk?? and there was also the matter of his parents. he was absolutely terrified

but he ended up blurting it out one night he and sirius stayed up late in secret. sirius talked to him about this one boy he was crushing into, and came out to him. and reg came out to him in return!! there were a lot of hugs and a lot of tears (they pretended this never happened the next morning)

sirius was a man on a mission after this. he helped him browse names and started using the correct pronouns, always getting so incredibly upset when he slipped at the beginning. reg found it very endearing, and assured him it was fine bc it was understandably gonna take them both some time

reg didn't have many close friends back then, so he didn't really come out to anyone in school, and he graduated with only sirius knowing the truth

those years were hard ngl, and reg struggled A Lot, but having sirius on his side made the whole thing . slightly more bearable . sometimes not even that was enough but reg appreciated it immensely

how he deals with dysphoria has changed over time!! he relied a lot on the internet when he was younger, and on his brother too, but there was only so much sirius could do apart from offering a willing ear and being comforting, considering he couldn't really understand what reg was going through. it absolutely broke sirius' heart, to see him have breakdown after breakdown, losing his appetite or refusing to leave his room for days

back then reg experienced dysphoria constantly. he wasn't comfortable in his own body and he had a hard time looking at himself in the mirror, or even listening to himself talk

some days he could kind of deal with it, remain functional despite it all. he did his best to keep himself distracted so he wouldn't think too much about the whole thing

but other days getting up from bed was Hard

now tho !! it doesn't happen That often, he's the man he was always meant to be !! he's on T and got top surgery and legally changed his name and gender so he's kind of thriving

he still has his moments tho bc this is something he's gonna have to deal with for the rest of his life so when it happens he goes to the twins!! they're both trans in this story so they Understand what he's going through and they support each other Always

they exchange advice and comfort each other when it gets especially Hard and . idk it's all very lovely, they're each other's ppl yk??

again, back then a lot of stuff gave him dysphoria, but nowadays it's more specific?? little things that usually don't upset him that badly but that sometimes pile up and end up giving him actually bad dysphoria??

like . he's a well-known sports journalist, he isn't really a celebrity or anything but ppl do talk about him sometimes, especially bc of sirius (and then bc of james) and they tend to mention his looks or how similar or different he looks to his brother

and sometimes they use more . feminine adjectives or straight up say he's kinda feminine or even comment on him being trans since it's public knowledge and reg has spoken on it more than once and . it's stuff that doesn't affect him that badly but it still annoys him

it's the same when ppl highlight how passing he looks, how u can't even tell he's trans, etc

there's also the ppl that are purposefully transphobic or misgender him which . does actually make him quite dysphoric, even tho he's mostly very comfortable with his identity + his looks now

he also has a bit of a complicated relationship with . stuff that it's considered 'feminine'

like clothes don't have any gender, same with makeup, and reg wouldn't mind wearing a skirt even tho it's not his style and he does wear some makeup semi-regularly for tv interviews etc etc but . sometimes he feels slightly uncomfy on it, like he gets bad memories or becomes paranoid about how he looks in it, if the clothes make his body seem too . curvy .

as i've said, he's very confident nowadays but he still has his moments!!

when it comes to gender euphoria, it's all about the little things!! people calling him handsome, seeing how hairy his body is now, the fact that he can take his shirt off now when he goes to the beach etc

when it comes to relationships and his sex life he has reached a point in which he can usually go ahead without getting dysphoria but . it depends on his partner really

some ppl can be transphobic without meaning to or simply bc of a lack of knowledge which is fine by him u know he totally gets it, it's a matter of being willing to learn and to listen to him

like . he's used to guys assuming he only bottoms or not even ask if he's comfortable using his front hole u know

or using afab terms to refer to his genitals without making sure first reg is okay with that

which brings me to my next point !! in oby, reg himself uses afab terms and he's fine with james using them too, they've had a convo about it and everything

but it's different for reg in the boxer au!! he does use afab terms for himself, he doesn't mind at this point and it doesn't give him any dysphoria however . when it comes to his sexual partners . he prefers them using words like a cock or hole or more neutral names . it gives him gender euphoria!! and the other stuff makes him kinda uncomfy. it's fine when he's the one saying it or thinking it but hearing it out loud coming from . other people, especially people who are just there bc they're attracted to him and want to fuck him is . Not Great

he also isn't always fine with using his front hole during sex, it depends on his mood and how much he trusts the person he's gonna be sleeping with. besides, he quite likes anal too so !!

this whole thing is another reason why . reg doesn't want to sleep with james bc he feels like he's gonna be a bit of an asshole about it or be another guy who doesn't even bother asking about his preferences or what he's comfy with

which isn't the case at all!! james has been with trans ppl before, and even if he hadn't, he's very considerate with his partners!! and as he should tbh. him being arrogant or knowing he's great in bed doesn't mean he's selfish

#and i'm gonna stop right there bc this is getting out of hand #this is way too long omg #but i hope this was what u were hoping for !!!#sending u lots of love darling <333 #asks #anons #boxer james agenda #regulus black

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celestie0 · 2 months

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Idk if this is weird to ask but can you tell more about your situationship?😭 I’m curious since it inspired the story idkkk

nooo not weird at all haha, i had plans to share more ab it once i was done w kickoff but i dont really mind sharing a bit now (will literally always take up any chance to talk ab it it’s an impulse i cannot resist)

basically i met this guy like halfway through my freshman year of college at a frat event, it was a bit different from kickoff dynamic in that we started hooking up pretty soon after that, just a casual thing, but then the pandemic hit and so he went back home to live w his grandpa/family in new york (i live in cali) once campus shut down and stuff. obviously we couldn’t hook up anymore LMFAO but we still talked a lot and i think it was during this time of just talking to one another that i really started to catch massive feelings for him :”)

i went through some bad anxiety during covid, struggling a lot w my career and if i still wanted to pursue the things i thought i wanted (i think a lot of college students went through this w the pandooski) but he would always be there for me and would stay on facetime calls w me if i was struggling to study, he’d cheer me up w pics of his tibetan dogs lol, just reallyyy sweet ugh when we were long distance i rly saw a side of him i didn’t before and i think that’s what made me fall for him

i confessed to him first, similar to reader in kickoff, n told him we could do long distance until he moved back here. but then he hit me with the “i’m sorry, i can’t date you, i’ve got commitment issues”. in his case, he had a long-term girlfriend in high school for four years who he also was dating into college (before he met me), but he found out she had been cheating on him for a long time w not just one but multiple of his friends 😭 so..he said he has really bad trust issues, and that he really wanted to try to date me, but he just felt like he couldn’t

i was really hurt, obviously, but i think in hindsight maybe it was a responsible decision on his part to not throw me into a mess of a relationship w him, one he knew he wasn’t ready for. but at the time, i just thought that it was bc i wasn’t good enough to change his mind. anyways, he asked if we could still talk and be friends, and i said sure bc i didn’t really want to lose him. i figured i could just wait for him (and i told him that i would)

yeahhh well the waiting was way more fucking painful than i thought. he flew to cali once to visit me when flights were sort of resuming, which is just fucking insane because you’ll fly to see me but you won’t date me 😭, and i told him that it’d be the last time he ever sees me! and it was :”) maybe it was an impulsive decision by me, but idk. yknow when you get stuck in a limbo for what feels like forever that you make a decision just for the sake of making one (it was such a short amt of time in reality, but it felt like forever) he made a comment to me in our last conversation about how he really wished he didn’t have to be someone i had to wait on to change, and that really fuckin stuck w me lmao i cried so hard the drive home from the airport. i think all the “what-ifs” kinda sunk in at that moment

ch7 of kickoff was basically me trying to get inside the head of the guy from my situationship, and see what it’s like to have fears hold you back from wanting to experience something for yourself, something that could be beautiful if you would just give it a chance. i felt like if i wrote it from that angle, i’d have more understanding of my situationship (i dont have commitment issues myself, tbh i’ve never rlly understood the concept. like, i’ve been fucked over by ppl in my life too but i’m never one to punish the next person for it. dealing w my situationship was really hard because of this, i would get really frustrated, but writing ch7 from gojo’s character’s perspective made situationship guy’s feelings make more sense to me, i think, there was a sense of closure in that)

but anyways, i was in love w him for sure. like, possibly infatuated. there was a time where we got into a big argument about something and i think i legit i cried myself into a fever 💀 it was all so crazy and powerful, the feelings, i’ve been involved w other guys since but of course none of it really compares. idk, i guess there are just some people that can make you feel that way, there’s really no use in understanding why.

this sounds so sappy, lmaoo i swear i truly am “over” him in that i hardly think of him that much anymore, n tbh i don’t think of him specifically all that much while i’m writing kickoff, but there are moments where i can’t help but bring those feelings into the story.

there’s a line in ch8, near the end of the bed scene, where reader has a thought like

“You feel so safe with him, and yet you also feel scared, because you like him so much that you would let him ruin you if he wanted to.”

yeah. that’s basically how i felt about him.

#damn sorry this is long asf #kickoff #kickoff backstory #asks #anon

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trippy-thot · 2 years

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Pls do yandere Billly showalter

Idk how I feel about this but, enjoy!

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Yandere Billy Showalter

(Aged Up Billy & Reader)

(Tw: Degradation, Possessive Behaviors, Manipulation)

You met Billy the first morning he got his new job as the paperboy.

Long story short, he hit you in the face with some papers and came over to apologize. But the apology was cut short when you insisted you were fine and even invited him in for some coffee.

That Summer was pretty much the two of you hanging out all the time. Spending weekends together, going on walks, getting milkshakes. He even let you ride on the back of his bike to deliver papers with him!

He was taken aback by how sweet you were to him. Considering he just cut your face (on accident) with some papers. He loved how kind-hearted and upbeat you were. The fact you would give him your undivided attention for however long he spoke. The fact that you were so friendly to him gave him butterflies

The only problem? You were like that with everyone. He’d never noticed considering the only time he really left his house was when he went somewhere with you.

Poor Billy. He thought he was so special for having someone so loving around him. That was until he ran into you the first day of school.

He had chained his bike up and was walking over to the courtyard. His eyes lit up when he saw you walk his way with a wave. He waved back, only to realize it wasn’t him you were acknowledging. It was someone else. His eyes lingered to his right to see some tall black haired boy open his arms and you practically jump into them.

The two of you stayed like that for a moment before he let you go. It didn’t bother Billy that you were talking to someone else. But it bothered him that you didn’t even bother to acknowledge his presence. The black haired boy took your hand and you walked right past him!

Throughout the day, Billy kept an eye on you. The two of you shared classes together, but so did that other dude. He never got a chance to speak to you since you were so infatuated by him.

When lunch time came around, he spotted the two of you sitting outside. It took him by surprise when you waved, signaling him over. Billy was almost thrown to the floor when you hugged him. He didn’t mind though. Nor did he want to let go.

He learned all about the other guy.

His name was Devin. He was 18 and a senior. He had a motorcycle. The leather jacket he had on was from his bike gang. His arms were scattered with tattoos. (Disregarding the facial piercings) And Billy could tell he was head over heels for you.

Billy could tell you felt the same way about him which made his blood boil.

What did Devin have that he didn’t? Other than An actual bike, and tattoos, and piercings, and-

All he could do was sit and smile as you gushed over Devin; gripping his plastic spork so hard it broke into 4 separate pieces.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

About a week after Billy met Devin, he asked you to hang out at his house. At first you declined, stating that you had plans with Devin that day. But you were persuaded when Billy told you he needed to talk to you about some serious stuff.

“Billy, this better be important. I was gonna go down to the cinema with Devin.” You groaned, sitting on his bed. He shut the door behind him and sighed. “About Devin…”

The two of you bickering back and forth over him. Billy had told you Devin had gone around doing stuff with other girls, which you didn’t believe. “You’re such a liar! Is this because you’re jealous of him? If you cared about me, you’d be happy for me!”

Billy sighed and turned the other way. “So I’m the bad guy because I want to hang out with you?” You stopped grumbling and looked at him. “What?” There was a brief pause. “No, I never said-“

“I just wanted to hang out with you is all. And I figured while you were here I’d tell you what I saw. Don’t believe me, believe me. It’s up to you. I just don’t want to see you get hurt because some douche played with your heart.”

You felt a hint of guilt in your chest as you looked at Billy. He really did look upset and concerned for you. “Not to mention he’s probably only using you for your body.”

The next hour you spent crying on Billy’s shoulder as he spoke. He continuously put you down and practically slut shamed you for hanging out with Devin. And when you tried to defend him, he changed courses.

“You don’t think he actually loves you. Right? You’re not that dumb. I mean seriously (Y/n). Why would he? You’re just a daft bimbo, and he seems to recognize that. He’d only use you for your body and throw you to the curb after. Of course he doesn’t love you! I don’t think anyone even would. Other than me.”

Billy spoke so harshly of you, but in such a sweet tone. He rubbed your back and played with your hair as he continued to tell you no one would ever love you like he does. His words coaxed you into his arms as you cried into chest. You couldn’t see it, but the large smirk on his face was confirmation of you falling right into his trap.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

The constant degradation from Billy eventually consumed you fully.

You no longer hung out with Devin. Or anyone else other than Billy for that matter. You stopped wearing clothes that fit and instead worse baggy oversized pants and shirts. No one spoke to you anymore because you were never alone.

You were always with Billy. At his side. At all times. Following him around like a lost puppy. Anyone who tried to converse or interact with you was driven away by his harsh words and insults. Not you though.

Overtime you learned that people just didn’t like you. He was right all along. People were only ever using you to their advantage. No one loved you. No one cared for you. No one even acknowledged you!

Other than your boyfriend Billy.

#Tbp #yandere #the black phone #x reader #billy showalter #paperboy #Yandere the black phone #billy showalter x reader

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ranticore · 2 months

Note

hello... 5-15 of those asks if you'd like for John (any iteration!) and Nico... hehe

yay 🧡

5. Is there any significance behind their hair color?

not really lol. john's hair is brown because it's the most common hair colour, nico [pascal's object of obsession from 2017 inver] has black hair because i wanted to further visually distinguish him from bowman. both have visible grey streaks because it's an easy way to help define the shape of the hair when drawing it

6. Is there any significance behind their eye color?

yes but only in that they (and all my characters) have brown eyes because i got tired of ppl seemingly on purpose avoiding brown eyes for their interesting characters. so i only make brown-eyed characters on purpose. the only exception is cuinn (harpy) because he has albinism but typical members of his species have dark brown eyes.

7. Is there any significance behind their height?

yes, john is my height on purpose (5'4") and nico is 5'3" because i'd unintentionally made my previous trans man characters pretty tall so i thought well let's make one who is short hashtag representation

8. What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story?

i relate to john because i'm also a beautiful brunette who sucks so much. nico is unrelatable to me because he's a cop (he's not really but the plot does follow a buddy cop format)

9. Are they based off of you, in some way?

john from long long ago (2011, my first major setting) was a direct self insert thus the similarities in appearance. he has some parts of me in him because he's my main dnd character and it's hard not to project when doing 5 hour improv sessions once a week but he has never been less like me tbh. nico ehhh not really, we don't align personality-wise because i would not tolerate pascal for more than 5 seconds without wanting to hit him with my car

10. If they have an LI, how much of their character is tailored to be compatible to that person?

for john yeah 100%, they were made for each other. the angle i'm going with for their arc is a "perfectly synchronous" relationship being no protection for some bad shit going down between them, showing that if two people are SOO perfectly made for one another, it can often lead to one person taking the other for granted, assuming they can predict how the other person will react in any given situation, and ultimately it all results in a messy breakdown of communication.

for nico i meannnnnnnn he is a horse trainer and pascal is a horse so there is that, but in terms of personality they are intentionally very opposed and clash frequently, get on each other's nerves, fight, and not always smooth over those incidences. they are not very compatible.

11. Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation?

yep

12. What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)?

I'm going to be real with u I could draw and write John in my sleep. Nico i find difficult to write, I have a hard time finding his voice. The ranger uniform also annoys me.

13. How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all?

john as a dnd character has no future whatsoever aside from a planned multiclass, he could fall off a cliff next session and die idk. Nico is one of the few characters i haven't thought much about post-canon, i don't feel like it's relevant.

14. If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be?

john: 1. literally just say the first thing that comes to mind, always. 2. keep em guessing

nico: 1. hes scared of boats and this is surprisingly relevant, i keep forgetting it lol. 2. i try to keep in mind my studies of horse trainers & their work, how they interact with their animals and what subtle body language they might use; these are people who frequently have to convince giant frightened animals that they are in charge here, this translates into how they hold themselves, how they speak, how they approach conflict etc.

15. What is something about your OC can make you laugh?

john's secret fear which we have discussed in dms (iykyk)

nico let himself get tricked into going on a theme park date with pascal while on duty and didn't even realise until afterwards that it was an elaborate setup of fabricated evidence all so that pascal could get him in the tunnel of love

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iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 10 months

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oh god you have foolishly provided me a chance to dump the contains of my soul and heart out in the open through throwing all my favorite songs to listen to and think of Muriel at you in this essay i WILL

ok first i know its on his official playlist already BUT i feel a need to emphasize just how much it is ABsoLUTEly HIS song most of any of them: drumroll please::: 👏Wolf👏 by 👏First Aid Kit👏 any muriel simp reading this right now i am pounding you with my brainwaves of intent to go listen to it Right Now and Read those Lyrics and just try to tell me its not literally about him god if could draw id be doing such a cool animatic about it but alas it dies with me anyway WAYWARD WINDS!!! A VOICE THAT SINGS!!!! OF A!! FORGOTTEN!!!! LAND!!!!!!! SEE IT FALL!!!! CHILD OF WAR!!!! OH LEND!!!! A MENDING HAND!!!!!!!!!!! i believe ive made myself clear kbgxkyhfhkvd

https://youtu.be/6PmuuiXgIZE

i dont know if links work on anon but i had to try gjzghfdtomfg our wedding song straight up this is in my language and also like. about a girl but the words are easy to switch around so it fits lol it basically just goes like "you just had to know (to do something? like in a you know how to work me way lmao linguistics hard), that i cant forget you at all/i forgot my mother and father/my sister and my brother but i cant goshdarn forget you" and i dont know i probably cant translate that so it hits right but god its absolutely perfect to me cause like I DIDNT! FORGET HIM!! MC REMEMBERS HIM AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT!!!! EVEN WITH THE CURSE I DONT KNOW LET ME HAVE THIS ITS TOO GD ROMANTIC I CANT BELIEVE HE GOT ME ACTING LIKE THIS AGHGF im sorry for yelling i got excited

NEXT a classic we gotta pepper some hozier on this thing so here goes Nothing Fucks With My Baby cause thats my ultimate serenade for him in my head especially the "if i was born/as a blackthorn tree/id wanna be held by you/felled by you/fuel the pyre of your enemies" part as it perfectly describes my sentiments towards my man: hes my bby i will kill for him👁️👁️

theres Always Forever by Cults, i dont have that much to rant about it i just always think of him when i play it lol theres hozier again It Will Come Back which is on his official playlist too but i play around with perspectives in this one cause i put myself in the "it" position, like. im chasing here bro👀 oh my god i have got to shut up this is entirely tmi

https://youtu.be/mLycEitwJCA

i made a whole post about this one its a whole thing lmao long story short muriel on a murderous revenge quest au MOVING ON

OH i remembered another folky one

https://youtu.be/NrgwIo8GWDI

its SUCH a banger and i love it and it goes like i saw a Wolf a Fox a Rabbit so i just imprinted on it with Muriel Asra and MC respectively cause i dont know i had a phase where i decided mcs spirit animal is a rabbit cause of that scrapped introduction chapter with the labyrinth thing i guess idk im scrambling here ngfsfugc anyway it slaps listen to it and imagine a bangin tavern party and maybe youll calm down /meme

ohh ok we're on a folksy roll thats probably because i just mostly associate old timey sounding songs with arcana in general lmao i mean its like middle ages over there right

https://youtu.be/t9PUlNQOZ8o

this ones in my language again i know annoying but i found a translated version look!!! AND theres a bunch of people correcting the mistakes in the comments too if you were wanting to get deeper into research hkdggjyecb and its white voice style so depending on your taste it might sound silly but yeah this ones got some fitting lines too tying up with Murmur and its so cute and so cheesy and hopeful and sappy and it cheers me up aw

oh my god i wonder if anyone gets this far reading this ever if youre seeing this its probably during a scroll roll slow just enough to make out the letters Hello godspeed you continue on your journey with my blessings cause im noT EVEN DONE YET HAHAHAHAHAA

Motha Motha! Problems! nuff said

https://youtu.be/artn9fErRp8

this ones gonna take explaining gjxgkhpgz but maybe not that much

https://youtu.be/_h9V94b4R2g

i just had a eureka moment one day and so another animatic concept to take to my grave was born lmao but mostly its just playing into Muriels & MCs "nO i cOULd hUrt YoU Go aWaY" + "ayo hold my flower ima kill them real quick" dynamic theyve got heehee like the whole "~Dangerous~ ooh that sounds good ya" bit and also yes im in your house no im not leaving jgdghkfhgd and like i just imagined the song fitting the vibe of the whole murder lucio quest road trip with MC all "yo we Getting this shit DONE dont fuck around w my crew" (The Crew: feral milf & bear with anxiety) AND LIKE i always get to the "party like we all gon die tonight" basedrop part with the whole visual montage of us finding khamgalai and then the graveyard fight and Absolutely Everything Going to Shit and the mood shifting to "well fuck maybe we do not in fact got this" but its good we kick lucio all the way to hell at the end we good💕

https://youtu.be/ZxWiG6UJr0w

MMMMMMM THIS ONEE AWW im literally just scrolling through my endless unsorted playlist to find these gdiyyfgfz this ones just cute it doesnt really relate to anything at all actually when i think about it but its nice so here

https://youtu.be/6FEDrU85FLE

.....nope i got nothing on this one just plop it right in here

oh my god. its over. weve done it. we're free

man i hope those links work. definitely not on mobile lol whatever

Hi! and oh, WOW, this was one of the most delightfully wild essays I've ever read for Muriel and I loved it. Especially describing the dynamic on the trip south as "feral milf & bear with anxiety" XD

I've found that links don't work in asks, even with the media option turned on, so I'll include them below. Thanks for your suggestions, anon, I'll put them on the tag! ^.^

youtube

#ask arcana brainrot #arcana brainrot playlist #the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #muriel the arcana #muriel of the kokhuri #the arcana game

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pleuvoire · 4 months

Text

2023 books i liked recap because why not

top faves, new entries on the all-timers shelf:

piranesi is like a sweet spot of novels made for me i swear. aesthetically beautiful (as far as mental images go), themes of wonder at the beauty of the world, a slowly unfurling mystery, a simple plot but with vibrant beauty and meaning layered on top. It's Good

giovanni's room also has a very simple plot that is so overlaid with soaring passionate emotion i swear it feels like an opera in book form. timeless classic. it's good idk what to tell you

oh man ancillary justice is such good sci-fi. when you start out reading it you're like this is rather dry but it pulls you in so hard. the worldbuilding! the themes of identity! breq is such a good character!

not quite all-timer shelf but still really good

fish swimming in dappled sunlight is ultimately a story about stories and memory and constructed narratives and the reliability thereof. it takes place over a single night and mostly just consists of characters sitting around talking, but manages to pull some crazy twists on you regardless. love the prose style too

i'm glad my mom died lives up to the acclaim. mccurdy has a real talent for narrative voice, effortlessly inhabiting the viewpoint of her younger self at various ages. balances humor and tragedy with frank candor. i sound like a review pull quote here so i'll stop

infect your friends and loved ones is actually a novella so pretty short! it's by the author of detransition baby and has definitely gotten me interested in reading that. really vivid meditation on trans womanhood and transmisogyny that bounces between post-apocalypse and pre-apocalypse settings. pdf here

less stand-out but i still liked it

what are you are looking for is in the library is a nice little series of loosely connected vignettes about people who are stuck at some point in their life and find inspiration at the library. all the staff at my library job wanted to read it so the hold list was a mile long lol. has inspiring themes about always being able to find a way forward when you're in a rut and the power of community and stuff

a people's history of heaven is about the life and times of a group of girls living in a slum in bangalore, india. i liked how it interwove different people's life stories together and used lots of vivid detail and i like how the trans girl's story was written. some aspects were hit or miss for me but it was still nice

temple alley summer is a kids' book but i like kids' books so that's fine. it's about a boy who sees a ghost and the next day she's a student at his school and everyone seems to already know her but him and it turns out this is because his house was built on top of a mystical temple. i like the meditations on life and death and the simple heartwarmingness. it takes a long unexpected detour in the second half which threw me for a loop but ended up working for the story

stuff i started reading but didn't finish and i swear i'm going to try to get to it this year

to shape a dragon's breath is pretty long so i didn't get that far in before i had to return it to the library but i really liked what i read. the worldbuilding is really interesting and the narrative voice feels fresh and unique and deftly avoids the samey YA mold that tends to grate on me. and it's got commentary on colonialism! definitely check this one out

i got halfway through radium girls which is an accomplishment for me since it's long. rare nonfiction entry on this list. goes into insanely meticulous historical detail complete with fiction-style descriptions and embellishments of the girls' lives which just makes it more tragic

i own a copy of the haunting of hajji hotak but it's seriously harrowing stuff so i had to take breaks. it's good man. but whew it does not shy away from the realities of living under war and occupation. death to america

ok that's everything i think seeya next year

#rosemary reads

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mackjlee9 · 2 years

Note

Helloo i've read your stories for a long time but this is my first time doing a request so idk if im doing it right, but can i have a flamebringer x doctor! Male reader or silverash x doctor! Male reader hmmm maybe for the plot is wherethe doctor got injured??? And make it angst and fluff in the end. Im sorry if im doing it wrong butthanky ou for your hard work and stay safe /^_^/

Flamebringer x Doctor!Male!Reader [Angst&Fluff]

Warning; mention of a gunshot wound, blood & surgery. (I added operators that I have so sorry if it's not accurate to your account)

Masterlist.

Game; Arknights

It was unusual for Rhodes Island's doctor to involve himself in a fight, but this time, he got caught in the crossfire when they were trying to get back up, some Operators had to retreat from the battle, and (M/n) had to help them heal and get ready again, but while he was doing that, he got shot.

Every Operator on the battlefield heard many of the operators that were brought as backup yelling out for their doctor. Shining immediately ran to him to heal him and keep him from bleeding out, but they had to leave as quickly as possible.

Silverash, who had been guarding their base clenched his teeth and looked forward, "Keep fighting! Defeat them!" He yelled for everyone to hear.

While some operators gritted their teeth, others nodded, but every single one of them fought with everything they had, the healers were exhausted from healing everyone and themselves, melee and ranged attacks running out of breath and almost passing out, but after getting short breaks while the enemies got closer, and the Inspiration buff from Sora, they finally won the battle.

Without rest, they rushed back to Rhodes Island to treat (M/n), Saga and Mudrock watched their backs while Hoshiguma carried the doctor on her back, rushing as fast as she could while three different healers kept (M/n) alive, who had long passed out.

Every operator that got held back at the base panicked at the sight of their bloody, unconscious doctor, who was immediately taken to the infirmary where he worked to find a cure for Oripathy, but only had a treatment for the symptoms of it so far.

Hoshiguma walked in and gently but quickly laid him down on the bed, backing away to let the Medics do their jobs. Pretty much every healer under the doctor's command was there, making sure everything was clean and disinfected before proceeding with surgery to extract the bullet.

Outside the room, Flamebringer had just woken up due to all the noise, with a frown he approached the group of operators outside of the doctor's infirmary, everyone there was quiet, with empty looks on their faces and those who came back from the battle were still dirty and beat up.

Curious about who had gotten themselves badly injured, he peeked through the glass window in the hallway, only to stare in shock as he saw (M/n), his lover, laying on the hospital bed, unconscious and bleeding.

Flamebringer turned pale, his knees giving out and falling to the floor getting the attention of a few operators around him. His head was tilted down, hiding his fear and concern from prying eyes, but his sight was getting blurry as the seconds passed, soon covering his face with his hands and crying quietly, holding in his sobs even if that made it hard for him to breathe.

He ignored anyone that tried to talk to him, and just sat there on the cold metal floor, waiting for the Medics to be done so he could be with him.

After what felt like a whole day, one after one, the healers started walking out, letting out deep sighs and glancing back before walking out, those reactions made Flamebringer feel uneasy, so he stood up with shaky, numb legs, and held Ansel's wrist when he walked out.

"Is he... okay?" He struggled to ask, unsure of how to phrase it, but the shorter male seemed to understand him.

"Doctor is still unconscious, we extracted the bullet and disinfected his wound, but he hit his head on the pavement and his skull suffered some cracks," he explained standing next to Flamebringer, looking through the glass how Kal'tsit finished up some things, "We had to sew the wound on his head, and do a blood transfusion since he lost a lot of blood, but... he should be okay, it might take him a couple of days before he wakes up."

Nodding in silence, Flamebringer let Ansel go, and he walked to the door, observing as Kal'tsit picked up the dirty, bloody, and torn clothes from the floor, putting them in a paper bag to get rid of them. She got sight of the male by the door, and she signaled toward the stool on the right side of (M/n)'s bed.

"You can sit there," hesitantly walking in, Flamebringer fixed the stool and sat down, reaching his shaking hands to hold onto (M/n)'s, feeling his tears clouding his sight again when he saw up close the state of his lover.

Kal'tsit walked out of the room and reached for the door to close it, but she stopped for a second, "Make sure you eat something if you're gonna stay the night, alright?" Mindlessly nodding, Flamebringer leaned down to press his forehead on (M/n)'s thigh, turning his head to look at (M/n)'s face.

And eventually, he ended up falling asleep.

///////

For the next following days, Flamebringer was on edge. There were times when (M/n) would wake up for a few seconds before falling unconscious again.

He wanted to be there every hour of every day, but Reunion was still hot on their tail, causing him and other operators to leave and battle, leaving (M/n) under the care of healers, whether they were medics or not. His friends would usually stop by and talk to him, letting him know everything that had been happening, usually things involving funny times.

Every operator from Kjerag visited him, since (M/n) was a close friend of Silverash and Gnosis. Rhine Lab came by too, but Ifrit couldn't stay for too long since she got irritated easily. Laterano and Iberia operators too came by and stayed with him.

But every night, Flamebringer was the only one there, usually after Kal'tsit or Shining came by to check on the doctor's wounds and condition. He was slowly going insane, staying awake day and night just in case (M/n) would, miraculously, wake up, sometimes being forced to rest and other times just passing out from exhaustion.

He couldn't understand why (M/n) wouldn't wake up, he was stable and his wounds were healing properly so why...?

Why hasn't he woken up yet?

With tears wetting his cheeks, Flamebringer held tightly onto (M/n)'s hand, silently praying that he would wake up, and in the midst of his pleads, he passed out.

The next morning, feeling his eyelids as heavy as cinder blocks, (M/n) opened his eyes and looked around, seeing Kal'tsit replacing his IV.

"Oh, look who finally woke up," she said with a sarcastic tone, but the small smile on her face showed her relief. (M/n) felt ich on his face, so he tried to lift his hand up to scratch his cheek, but something was holding it. Glancing down, he saw his lover sleeping on his hand, an obvious trail of dried tears on his face, "He passed out last night after I left, he's been keeping an eye on you, waiting for you to wake up."

His heart fluttered at the words, feeling loved and a bit guilty for making Flamebringer wear himself out like that.

"Alright, I'll be giving out the news that you're awake, so get ready for the room to fill up," he nodded, slowly moving his hand enough to gently caress his lover's cheek, who started waking up, his eyes opened and he seemed alive again once he realized (M/n) was awake.

"Baby!" He exclaimed getting up from his sit, getting closer to kiss him, "You're awake...!"

Smiling, (M/n) wiped the tears falling down Flamebringer's face, the male leaning closer to his warm touch, "I'm back," he whispered, bringing him closer to kiss him again.

Extended Ending

By the time everyone walked into the room (M/n) was in, they caught sight of Flamebringer sleeping on top of the doctor, the calmest and most relaxed expression they'd seen on his face for the past weeks.

Even so, they were happy that (M/n) woke up and was feeling better. They had no idea what they would do if they lost their doctor.

#arknights x reader #flamebringer x reader #male reader #reader insert #x reader #angst #fluff #one shot #arknights #arknights flamebringer #.mackjlee9 writes

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lindirs-gaze · 5 months

Text

20 questions for fic writers

@thatbluelight thank you for tagging me!! here's to another year of writing and girlbossing etc

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

19. but 26 on ffnet :|

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

496,029

3. what fandoms do you write for?

so right now it's danganronpa (i KNOW and i DON'T wanna hear it) but the majority of my works are for the hobbit and lotr

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The New World, Taking Back Time, Archery Lessons, The Fallen Oak, A Distraction. kind of surprising to find oneshots in there but ig it's what people like

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

only if i have something to say, i don't really like replying just to say thank you. idk it feels like i'm trying to boost my comment count :| not that i judge people who do do that i just don't

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably The Fallen Oak? the ending is supposed to be somewhat optimistic but it is about grief and letting go so...yeah

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

maybe Home and Heart? that was just a two-shot but the whole thing was basically straight fluff so the ending was very happy. how the hell would you write boffins angst anyways. don't answer that

8. do you get hate on any fics?

christ i've gotten way too many transphobic comments on Playing the Hero. i got this one really spiteful comment and peeked at their profile and it was someone who had written a ton of fics themselves. like if you're a loser with an empty profile and you leave hateful comments i kind of get it but if you're also a writer like...why would you do that...

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

yes. vanilla. next question

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i write a lot of fusion fics but i guess the closest thing i've gotten to a crossover was Embers. Thorin enters the world of The Witcher to train for fighting dragons, etc etc. very self indulgent, boy playing with action figures premise but people seemed to enjoy it

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i actually still have the screenshots, i stumbled across this one hobbit fic way back when that was this weird frankenstein piece of cobbled together bits stolen from a bunch of different authors. i was just casually reading it and then i was like "what the fuck this is so similar to the first chapter of Feangren..." anyway the author got a lot of hate and deleted the story

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

naur

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

naur

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

ugh i mean i don't think anything will ever hit like bagginshield. i know i don't write for it anymore but it still feels like home a little

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

stop there are so many and i'm so embarrassed. if i had the motivation i would rework the plot for Children of the Apocalypse and try to finish it. i feel bad because it is a sequel and at one point i was really pumped to write it but just. the moment has passed

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think i do pretty well with like a sprinkling of humor. i can't do straight up crackfics anymore. maybe plot too?

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

probably finishing fics i've been getting better but sometimes i struggle to write long chapters. like i have to stretch to hit 3k.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i feel like it only works if you know the language or if you just use short phrases

19. first fandom you wrote for?

legend of zelda. in my composition notebook in third grade lmao

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

it's hard to choose but i have a soft spot for Where Heroes Lie. very self indulgent but it has such a fun mix of action, humor, angst, shlock. feat. my only OC that has healthy parental relationships.

this was actually so fun omg. tagging @nejires-hado @chrononautintraining and i'm definitely forgetting people but if you want to do this just say i tagged you

#tag game

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peejsocks · 2 years

Note

i’ve had this idea for a while where like bam teachers fem reader how to skate 🥺 and it’s cute and he’s all “i’ve got you, don’t worry” when reader is scared she’s gonna fall or bust her ass while attempting to skate, but he’s lowkey laughing at her but in a sweet way ??? idk i’ve just been in my bam feelings and i need this to be a short story/hc

a/n: i don't know what this is, but i want to live it. sorry this took so long, hope you're still in your bam feelings

bam teaching you how to skate:

i think it would be pretty easy to meet the cky crew, most likely through a mutual friend who knows dico or something at a house party/get together

at said party, you're sitting on the couch, one leg under you and the other bent, balancing a beer can on your knee, trying to figure who the hell are these guys and why everyone knows them

it takes actually asking ryan for you to figure you do know what they do, letting slip "i love that stuff"

they'd chuckle at it bc they're little shits and to move past the embarrasment you confess an old desire to learn how to skate but the guys at the skate park were too intimidating

ryan, carelessly slapping bam's chest with the back of his hand, tells you his friend can teach you. "and he'll be like your bodyguard, no one's gonna fuck with you if you're together"

bam laughs at that last word, repeating it like dunn said something crazy, and you dismiss the idea, he doesn't have to, it's fine. surprisingly, he'd finally speak up directly to you and shrug "if you want to, I don't mind"

of course you don't actually think he'll do it but dico, who won't explain how he got your number, calls your house and asks for you to join them at the skate park, "and bring your cute friend, please"

so it'd be ryan, dico and your friend sitting under the shade, cheering you on even though you hadn't done anything extraordinary.

"there's too many people, maybe we should do this some other day"

"you'll be fine, everyone here had to start somewhere, don't worry about it"

bam is a patient teacher, so natural, in his element. he'd extend his hands in front of his body to help you get on the board, and hold your fingers, carrying you along slowly.

tapping your knees and explaining you have to bend them to keep balance, it's confusing whether you're nervous for fear of falling or because he's touching you and being so gentle about it

"I'm shit at keeping balance."

"And you want to skate?"

proving your point, laughing is enough to make you clumsily step off the skateboard as its wheels roll away from under your feet and dramatically hit the side of a ramp.

sighing prompts him to show a little support, "you'll get it, let's try again", sticking to your side the whole time.

trying to nail a heelflip for the hundredth time, he'd tell you it's good, you're done for the day

"no, I want to get it right"

"we'll come back some other time and work on it"

"wait, actually?"

"yeah, now let's go, I'm hungry"

he'd mock your eagerness, extending an invitation to eat burguers with the boys and demanding you pay for his meal as compensation for the classes

exchanging numbers to schedule the next lessons, his excuse for calling every day is that the more you practice, the easier it gets

you'd hang out at the skate park together for weeks, dico and your friend usually there too, occupying a small corner to get the simpler stuff down perfectly

at least half of the time, when you got tired and needed a break, you'd just sit with your friends and watch bam do his thing. sucking on a popsicle, cross-legged on the floor. it was interesting, impressive, and looked like a lot of fun. not like he's hard on the eyes either, it's difficult to not stare when he's shirtless and smiling so big

"jesus, pervert, close your mouth"

"what are you guys even doing here? don't you have anything better to do?"

one day, waiting for the crowded park to empty, you're looking up at the sunset when Bam takes up your view. he looks nice under the orange sky, small curls escaping his beanie.

"sorry to keep you waiting, there's no one on the ramp right now, wanna try it?"

he for sure straps protective knee and elbow pads, and maybe a helmet, on you. for "precaution".

at the top of the ramp, he'd hold you in place by the hips.

"it's easier if you just go all the way to the top, alright?" "Bam, I know, I was thinking I could-" "no, just stick to the plan"

feel like he'd be more nervous than you at that point, hands holding your body back too long

"I'm ready to go" "ok" "you have to let go for me to do this" "right, sorry"

it'd go well, but instinctively you started going down again, panicking and just leaping off the board mid-way through.

bam's sliding down already, rushing to help you stand up. asking if you were ok and what happened but clearly failing to hold back his laughter

mostly ignoring him, a cackle comes out and you're wrapping your arms around his back, overjoyed with your tiny achievement

"can't believe I did it, that was awesome"

at the last word, you step back to look at him, hands on his shoulders. and you're definitely kissing, proximity too small to not close the distance.

he makes the move. it's a little uncoordinated, but nice.

"do you always incentivize your students with a kiss?" "shut up"

#bam margera x reader #bam margera #jackass #jackass fanfic #ryan dunn #johnny knoxville #chris pontius #steveo

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ss-shitstorm · 1 year

Text

just so there's no confusion about this :

The grief I was talking about is not a recent loss. I am currently married to an amazing man who understands me and my situation about as well as a human can.

The shit clawing at my goddamn insides like a trapped rat happened 8 years ago.

I had a psychotic break that lasted 2 months(sober, I was just high on abnormal neurochemistry) and somehow for most of that time I managed to act normal enough nobody realized anything was wrong. But EXTREMELY long and disgustingly complicated story short, I full on hallucinated I had a husband and son. I cannot even begin to tell you how completely, utterly and fully these two braided themselves into my awareness. It was as if they'd forever been in my life. They were etched and woven into my IRL memories. They were just…there. They'd always BEEN there.

Eventually my family found me once shit really started hitting the fan and had me hospitalized. Once I was forcibly sedated and given antipsychotics, I slowly snapped out of my delusions and into a reality where they were gone.

These people that were as real to me as the air that I breathe were just gone. No bodies. No funeral. No earthly possessions. Nothing to prove that they'd ever been a part of my reality aside from some rambling, largely incoherent notes left on my laptop.

IDK how to explain what it feels like to have memories of giving birth that aren't real, how hard it is to shut off that voice screaming in your head "WHY ARENT YOU LOOKING FOR YOUR SON? How could you just fucking LEAVE HIM? WHERE'S YOUR BABY GO FIND YOUR BABY." Or what it was like to have a goddamn soulmate that filled up every single last little hole in you, who could see the deepest, ugliest, most naked parts of you and still love you unconditionally because "how could I not?" and know that you'll never, ever be able to feel that again because that's not something you could or should ever expect of another human, but you had it and now it's gone. I don't know how to explain what the fuck it felt like to be given the impossible, to be given everything you never knew you wanted, and have it vanish.

I'd like to say I should have gone to therapy then, but part of me doubts I would have been able to find anyone able to help me, and I certainly wasn't cognizant enough to articulate that I was suffering because I'd stopped being crazy. So instead of healing in any capacity, I just apologized to everyone I upset by being a fucking psycho, went back home to a 40+ hour workweek and smeared the homeless feelings for my missing loved ones over Optimus and Bumblebee writing FP for the next six years.

I don't think there's any meaningful way to recover from being kicked out of heaven. I'm not looking for one. My life now is just footnotes after this experience. What I'm looking for is a way to keep the anguish from physically killing me or destroying what's left of my mind because it wasn't until I got to the footnotes that I was somehow able to start helping others.

Anyways thanks for listening.

#fp #psychosis #language #greiving #death #kind of an origin story #really tired of sitting on it #no moral here folks sometimes shit just happens and you get raw dogged by god

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you-remind-me-of-the-babe · 7 months

Text

Trope Grading Game

Thank you for the tags @aristocratic-otter and @artsyunderstudy! I really love hearing what y’all are into and why.

Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

-10 -> very dissuaded

0 -> don’t care either way

+10 -> very enticed

nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged

Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

So the short answer is 0 for everything because I don’t read tags anymore because they never affected my choice to read a story the way a summary, snippet, rec or author gushing about their work would. But! even choosing with these methods the tropes bleed through so here are my rankings

Age gap: -1

I’m not opposed to it per se, I just don’t see the appeal. I just finished a book with side characters in a relationship with a big age gap and I tried to be open minded but it creeped me out a bit. Although I did write Baz as a 200 year old vampire so I guess there’s that! 😅

Codependency: +5

Yeah, give me two people leaning on each other. I think we suffer in silence too much. I think we need human connection. Gimme two people who aren’t afraid to ask for what they want. Yeah sure, it can be problematic but mostly I think it’s nice.

Obsession/possessiveness, jealousy: +5

I fucking love possessive Simon. Sometimes this trope isn’t done well in other stories but with Snowbaz I eat that shit up.

Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): +8

I looooove it. Working past your stereotypes? Becoming more open minded? Seeing someone on a deeper level? Grabby hands

Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits: +8

This is the majority of Snowbaz so obviously, yes. Sometimes I’m not a fan outside the fandom, but here it’s so good. And enemies with benefits??? Please. Cue me foaming at the mouth reading Restoration Ecology by @captain-aralias or it’s fabulous remix by @royalasstronaut.

Friends with benefits: +8

Yes please. As long as there’s some deep feelings involved, even if they come later, I’m there. And often with friendship you’ve got the platonic love there that sometimes builds to more so yes. More Than Friends by @fatalfangirl is an EXCELLENT example of this where they are just pining idiots from day 1 and I’m obsessed.

Sex to feelings: +10

FUCK YES. I will take it every time. I love sex, I love a good slow burn, I love sex with feelings. Make them earn it? PLEASE. Someone Wicked does this so well. @artsyunderstudy is the queen of sex with feelings.

Fake dating/relationship: +8

Yup, this is a goodie. even just fake friendship a la RWRB. Lovely. But yeah when their dating and they gotta kiss to sell it? And the other thinks they are faking but really that’s how they feel? Mmm hmm. Yummy.

Friends to lovers: +10

Y’all know this is my thing. I’ve written it several times. They love each other SO MUCH but they are too afraid to ruin their friendship so they feel they can’t make a move. The angst is right there and I love it.

Found family: +1

This can be great, but if that’s the whole premise I might pass. Fluff can be fun but if that’s all there is, I usually pass. But! If this is a theme in a longer fic with more complex plot? Then it can be really good.

Hurt/comfort: +1

Idk why but I associate this tag with shorter fics that just doesn’t actually hit that hard. Like, the hurt is little and immediately followed by the comfort. Give me the BIG angst. Hurt me good before you make it better. I looooove angst with a happy ending. So if that’s what we are doing then give it to me good.

Love triangle: -3

Meh. I always feel bad for the odd one out. I don’t like seeing the pining and angst without the pay out. And usually this is how it goes. If the third person is an asshole you just have to nudge out of the way, then maybe.

Poly, open relationship: -3

I’m actually quite curious about this and I bet it can be done right, but I usually go for a single OTP. Give me your recs though, I’d love to be convinced otherwise.

Mistaken/hidden identity: +10

Hell yes. They didn’t know it was that person all along? And they fell for them anyways? Fantastic. Even better is when they fall for the same person twice. Both hidden and not. And then! All is revealed and it’s the same person! Think love letters from a secret admirer, masquerade, etc. I mean there’s a reason network connectivity problems is the highest kudosed fic in the fandom.

Monsterfucking: +10

And bless this fandom for introducing me to it and going whole hog with our boys and their monster parts.

Pregnancy: -3

Been there, done that, don’t find it sexy. There’s some good mpreg fics in this fandom though so there are exceptions! Orange Juice by @orange-peony is a GREAT one that I really adored. This fandom just really delivers in any area.

Second chance: +9

Yes please! Unless own person is truly awful and doesn’t deserve it, but typically I love someone getting a chance to try and learn from their mistakes and try again. Don’t we all wish we could have a second chance at something?

Slow burn: +10

ITS SO SATISFYING! The payoff is so good after they’ve worked for it. My favorite.

Soulmates: +1

I love when characters can choose each other despite their destiny. I need conflict. I don’t know if I’ve read any Snowbaz ones. I think because I like them at odds and assume they won’t be. @artsyunderstudy is giving me recs to help me see the light LOL.

Who hasn’t done this? Tagging those above who haven’t done it plus a few more, if you’re up for it @whogaveyoupermission @iamamythologicalcreature @facewithoutheart @bookish-bogwitch @cutestkilla @thewholelemon @ivelovedhimthroughworse @ileadacharmedlife @raenestee @valeffelees

#trope grading game

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mushtoons · 2 years

Note

For your Arceus apprentice AU, sine Emmet is Arceus’ apprentice, Ingo is Giratina’s apprentice. (I saw ingo’s outfit and it looms awesome btw!!) How does that play out?

DHDJRJRK OKAY SO LIKE,,,i have a few ideas but ive been in a creative stump lately djdjjd i mostly got vague ideas lmaoo

im thinking with emmet, he's hit rock bottom, last resort kinda mindset like he's got a one way ticket and if this doesn't work out its game over, he manges to find arceus and battle it, but he loses so cue a breakdown screaming for answers arceus wont give him and arceus is like confused ( or something djdj) and realizes he doesnt understand humans so he makes a deal emmet teaches arceus about humans so he can better understand them and emmet gets to see just how hard it is being almighty ( or like "hey u think u can do a better job here be my guest" ) and when arceus thinks hes ready, he'll show him ingo

as for ingo himself im not 100% if imma add him but so far its looking good! im actually working on 3 drawings that lead up to giratingo djdjd i already got one of them finished! idk if i wanna post it now or wait until im done with all cuz its like a mini (sorta) comic and its kinda hurt no comfort atm but im working on the comfort part soon!!

but to sum him up shortly without going all over the place cuz ive got a few different ideas i haven't decided on yet is that when ingo dies (long story short ingos kinda got a pokemon version of radiation poisoning due to him being brought through the rift without the right precautions like arceus did with akari or thats the game plan at least lmao) arceus feels more empathy towards him than he would normally because of emmet and decides since ingo already has some of giratina's essence that he will just make him into giratina's helper (giratina really doesn't have much lore so im making it the keeper of souls cuz djdjdj its cool) and he helps guide and transport lost souls to the distortion realm or something

fjfjfkf its all over the place atm but fjfjf yeah and ngl it might do a 180 and change but!! thats the thought so far!!

#i wouldn't mind being shot some ideas 👀👉👈#cuz atm i just got lil snippets of scenes in my mind than like a whole au #lmaoo but shes comin along!#AND THANK U BTW IM VERY GLAD U LIKE IT 🥺🙏💖💖💖💖#arceus apprentice au #wood wide web

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snowblossomreads · 6 months

Text

Exhibit 3: Art of Starting Over

Previous Chapter: Somebody That I Used To Know

Pairing: Sinclair Bryant x Amiee Huang (OC)

Summary: In where Amiee and Sinclair have their reunion dinner. Things are clarified yet complications arise as unsettled feelings bubble back up.

Tag(s)/Warning(s): Strong hints of depression, mentions of divorce, some fluff and comfort, and a bit of distress kind of through out the entire story.

Word Count: 7.7K

A/N: And in a much longer chapter (there is no consistency i tell you idk what that means)! As usual apologies for any mistakes and butchering of British English speak LOL. Hopefully it's still as enjoyable to read as it was for me to write! Off we go now with the lil past lovebirds.

The drive back into London proper was uneventful. Since most people were already at their dinner spots it left the roads calmer than they had been.

But the conversation in the car was lively as both Amiee and Sinclair conversed about the recession that had hit and how the government should have acted sooner. However, both of them couldn’t agree on exactly what the best course of action should have been.

"I guess that's why neither of us are in parliament. We run the whole bloody country into the Atlantic," Amiee joked, causing Sinclair to chuckle tapping the steering wheel of the car as he laughed.

It hadn't been all doom and gloom though as they jumped from topic to topic with ease, one being the Football League that had ended months ago but was still a source of conversation considering its outcome, especially for the residents of Manchester.

"And I'm sure you were proper chuffed when your beloved United won the League this year! If I remember correctly your current borough had a team playing? Did you double-dip your support?" Sinclair asked.

"Whoop!" She shouted, clapping her hand giddily at the memory of the clock running out in the final game and the score being 1-0 for Manchester. "You know I'm not that much of a football fan but there is something about having your home team finally win big. I did have to tone it down initially when Tottenham was still in play but when they got knocked out United was the only one in my heart!"

The laughter that they both shared over the subject made her forget the forlorn longing she had for him as they chattered about. But she couldn't help but feel a bit regretful at times when she saw how brilliant he was when laughing. From the way the crow's eyes he had deepened, to how wide his smile was and how loud he would laugh. It tugged at her heart and the wistfulness of it all had her want to avert her gaze for fear of tears slipping out.

If she was in Sinclair's mind though she would know he felt the same whenever he looked at her and saw her peeking up at him with a grin that made him equally feel a reawakening of a bond cut short.

With the conversation though it seemed like time had passed in a flurry as Sinclair was parking in the garage at the end of Chinatown before she had realized it.

"And here we are! See easy. No fuss at all coming to pick you up. Now sit there I’ll come over to you," Sinclair commanded in one breath as he quickly unbuckled and exited the car while Amiee unbuckled her seat belt.

She watched as he paced around the front of the car to her side and opened the door holding his hand out for her to take.

"Such a gentleman as always," Amiee simpered and it garnered a pleased smile from Sinclair as he helped her out before closing the door behind her.

Entwining her arms around his elbow she told herself to ignore the stupid ring on his finger and if she imagined hard enough maybe she could act as if she was wearing a matching band of her own.

God could she be any more delusional?

They made their way out of the dark garage and onto the illuminated streets that were crowded with chattering people in search of dinner or just hanging out.

"It's straight down the street on the corner," Sinclair announced as he guided them onto the pavement and began to walk briskly in that direction. "Hopefully it's not too crowded but it's also a Friday night so I wouldn't be too surprised either. The wait will be worth it though!"

"Well I sure hope so because I'm already starving," Amiee panted trying to keep up with his long strides and attempting not to be dragged by him. "And keeping up with your long legs is also a task on its own so I'll be doubly starved when we get there!"

His eyes flicked down at her when she stated that and he couldn't help but feel apologetic when he noticed how much faster he was moving than she was.

"Aha sorry it's the food," he apologised, slowing down to a more comfortable pace for them both. A relieved sigh left Amiee's lips as her legs stopped screaming at how fast they were walking and he grinned at her. "I'm just excited for you to try it, and for me to eat it, of course!"

"I know but let's not qualify for the next Summer Olympics. I don't think either of us would be appreciative of the restrictive diets some of the players have," she teased while watching a cross look appear on Sinclair.

A diet for him? She wished whoever tried to get him to follow one the very best of luck. She didn't think he needed it in the first place as he was perfectly fit in her eyes and had always been so.

A thought did briefly cross her mind about how possible it would be for him to win a gold medal if the reward was a food tour around the hosting country. It made her giggle and Sinclair looked at her quizzically.

"What, tell me why are you laughing I want to laugh with you," Sinclair prodded as they crossed the road saying a brief ‘excuse me’ to a touristy looking man who brushed shoulders with him.

"It's nothing I was just thinking about how great of a runner you would be if the prize was some world famous food tour. I can see it now! You just blasting past all those other sprinters with one thing on your mind."

A grin spread across his face and even in the dim streets, his expression lit everything around him up.

"Oh yes, I think if France was one of the countries that they let me tour I be very much up to the task. I would love that very much, hmm now I need to ask if that’s an actual thing!” He said it so seriously that Amiee couldn’t help but shake with laughter as he took hold of the subject and went on about it. “Did you know that the Michelin guide considers Lyon to be the world capital of gastronomy? I've been there a few times and I have to say I agree with them there is so much to try and all of it delicious and the wine is just-."

'Click' 'Click' 'Click'

While Sinclair continued to ramble on about the food of France, Amiee stopped in her tracks and turned around at the noise of a camera's shutter going off. It caused him to pause with her but he continued to happily educate all those around him about the world class food of France. He of course got some stares and giggles from people walking by. It didn’t bother him at all.

"Did you hear that?" Amiee asked, letting go of Sinclair's elbow and looking around them for the source of the noise she just heard.

"Hmm no what's that?" Sinclair hummed turning in the same direction as her and seeing the same thing she was seeing, which was just a lot of people.

An odd feeling bubbled in her stomach as she turned around to look at him. A slight frown began to mar her face as he continued to search for whatever she was even though neither was sure what it was.

"No it's just I heard this clicking noise like a camera shutter," she answered looking at him with furrowed eyebrows and a confused expression. "It sounded kinda close but it's a bit late to take pictures right now." Her hand motioned to the already set sun that left the sky a darkish blue as night began to settle over the place.

"Maybe they’re just trying to get pictures of the area? It is quite pretty with all these lights on the dark background of the sky," he pointed out. "These lanterns here add a nice ambience to it also and with all these people around it makes a nice candid shot. Those kinds of shots always win Pulitzers so maybe they are practicing don’t you think?"

"Right," she mumbled a bit warily, still confused even if his point was logical.

'You're weird week continues.'

She thought to herself only being brought back to the present by an excited noise from Sinclair that made her turn to him.

"Oh wait but look! All that talking and we are here!" He exclaimed gesturing to a brick building with a smooth black exterior on the outer window that had the establishment's name on it in English and Chinese.

"Well, shall we?"

Her stomach grumbled at his question and they both looked down at the culprit before locking eyes again which caused them to break into a noisy fit of laughter.

"I-I guess that's a yes," she chuckled, burying the unease down and allowing herself to continue enjoying the night as he led the way into the restaurant.

It was loud with the rush of dinnergoers and the savoury smell of food only had Amiee more excited as they were seated and began ordering. They had both agreed on a main dish of roasted duck with scallion pancakes and a variety of smaller eats one enjoys when going to a place like this.

After getting settled they both fell into a comfortable pace of chatting with one another just as old friends who lost touch would.

"I'm telling you I thought my soul had left my body when I saw the thing dragging a pizza across the pavement," Amiee wheezed trying to hold back the laugh caught in her throat as she retold the story about her rat encounter on the streets of New York City. "Sinclair it was huge, gigantic! I thought the rats were just a myth but it was there and I was just so confused I couldn't move! It was like if that thing can drag a pizza what else could it drag? Me!?"

Sinclair, who was already partaking in some of the food that had already arrived couldn't stifle the choked noise that left him as he grabbed his glass of water and downed it.

"A whole pizza?" He guffawed his brows furrowing at the image of a rat dragging a pizza. "What a waste who is throwing a whole pizza away? And I doubt the thing would have been able to drag you if I remember they only drag about two times their body weight!"

This time Amiee giggled, not at all surprised he was concerned more about the uneaten food than anything else.

"I don't know about that, apparently the rats there have a specialized diet so I can't put it past them being able to drag a grown adult," she mused as she plucked a soup dumpling from one of the bamboo steamers, "but what I do know is I'm more scared of those rats now than anything."

Their laughter died down as the main dish of the evening was served and for a few moments, the only thing they could discuss was how good it was before they were silent as they dug into the meal.

Amiee had to admit Sinclair had chosen well with the restaurant, granted she never doubted him when it came to culinary things. He did have a refined palate for all things yummy. And she had always been up to try anything new that he recommended considering they had never had a bad outing.

She did find herself grinning once or twice when she looked up and saw Sinclair very much entranced at their meal gobbling everything up. It seemed when it came to food, manners be damned Sinclair was going to have his fill of it.

As he should and she supported it.

It couldn't have been more than thirty minutes into the main entree that Amiee decided that it was time to ask the question that had been burning in her head the entire time. Whether or not it burned her she would deal with it later because she was honestly just very curious. Was he married or not? Surely that ring wasn't just there for show...?

"And you Sinclair?" She asked, causing him to look up at her tilting his head and letting his hair adorably flop to the side. "Anything exciting in your life, you know friends, new hobbies, or...," she trailed off as her eyes seemed to automatically find the ring on his finger even if she wasn't purposefully looking for it.

He must have caught her glance though as he nervously began to play with the band. The piece of jewelery glinted at her in the dim light of the restaurant like it was mocking her and she could only look down at her food a little, a frown on her face.

"Wife and kids?" She finished before taking and popping a piece of the roasted duck in her mouth and groaning at how moist and savoury it was while having a crispy skin.

Sinclair's eyes brightened for a second before dimming at her question, bright ambers became dull while a nervous expression washed over his features as he continued to fidget with the band. She had to say that the sudden look of misery that washed over his features caused the flavors of the food to suddenly become bland.

"Erm, no, no kids...unfortunately," he muttered, his voice unusually soft which was almost drowned out by the other patrons. "And yes a wife..."

Amiee felt her heart drop at his answer but she tried to keep her expression neutral even if all she felt inside was a bubbling of sadness. But what did she expect? He was wearing a wedding ring.

"But." Her ears perked up as she watched his brows furrowed and he seemed to be mulling over his words before continuing. "We're separated at the moment, well, divorcing actually."

His eyes averted Amiee's gaze that had widened in ill hidden shock as he spoke and she could see the dejection in his expression grow. For a moment Sinclair looked a bit older than he was and it brought a tinge of unhappiness to her.

The ray of sunshine that he was seemed to dim even more and for a moment she wanted to commit violence against whoever had caused him to be upset like this.

Not even once did she think that Sinclair was the culprit of something that would cause a divorce because while the man wasn't an angel, he might as well be close to one with how good natured he was.

Never had he been anything but loyal to her while they had been dating and while he could be a bit overbearing she always knew it was because of how much he cared and it had always been hard for her to get annoyed by it.

It was endearing to her and she had found the remedy was to let him know. And just like the puppy he seemed to be, he would scamper away happily to leave one to their own devices in search of a book or snacks. Or both.

Well for a little while at least.

She was brought back from her thoughts by his voice as he continued to explain his predicament with as much enthusiasm as one could muster about such a topic. Which was none.

"I'm hoping by the end of the year, earlier would be nice," he sighed as a weary expression blanketed his features and he picked at his food again, another unnatural thing for him to do. "But it's dragged on a bit longer than I thought it would have. It's a bit messy to be truthful, with the solicitors and such everyone up in arms about this and that and oh! I don't know why I'm going on about this! This dinner was for you and to celebrate your new job!"

Being told that she had indeed been hired while simultaneously being distressed for Sinclair and his currently messy divorce was not what Amiee thought she would be experiencing at the same time. And while she wanted to jump from her seat and shout ecstatically about the job, the urge to comfort the man sitting across from her won out easily, especially with how sad he looked. She always hated it when he was sad, it didn't fit him.

"Sinclair no no it's okay! I'm the one who should be sorry. I didn't mean for this to go sideways. I was just being nosy oh god I shouldn't have asked. I just thought...Well, I don't know what I thought really."

Apologizing profusely, she leaned over the table and reached over to place a comforting hand on top of his, squeezing it in what she hoped was reassurance. The action, while innocent, sent a warm sensation up both of their arms, one that had them locking eyes for a moment before shyly looking down as she retreated. Any sadness in his eyes seemed to diminish as amber flecks lit up at her touch.

If she felt bad about his current messy relationship status, the feeling was more overshadowed by how there was something deep in her that was well..relieved in some twisted way.

Letting out an inaudible sigh, Amiee could only shake her head at herself slightly perturbed with her brain which continued to guilt her. Yet it also kept planting the thoughts it was guilting her for so who was the bad guy here?

"Of course you didn't mean to! How would you have known considering," he trailed off nodding to his ring breaking Amiee out of her stupor once again. "Honestly I'm still not sure why I still wear it, probably something to do with memories and attachments. I did read about it in some book I picked up at this bookstore near the office. You should visit it the owner is lovely and she even lets me have free books sometimes!" Sinclair beamed, happiness radiating off of him suddenly as he talked about his new go to bookstore and the book he had gotten.

Quirking an eyebrow, Amiee took a sip of water while trying to hold in a laugh at how pleased he had become at talking about the bookstore. As if they hadn't just pivoted from the somber topic of his divorce.

"Free books? That may be bad for business but I may also have to visit this bookstore if that's the case," she grinned, "but this sounds lovely though I'm glad that you didn't scare her with your little nose around!"

"I am too!" He agreed with a grin and she was glad that he was already smiling again.

It made her feel more relaxed as he grabbed a napkin and dabbed at his lips. An action that she kept her eyes on more intently than one should.

"Oh but now where were we?" He asked before his face lit up and he snapped his fingers. "The job that's right! Everything went through and someone should be giving you a ring Monday about it isn't it wonderful? I'm quite looking forward to getting to work with you again. I think we'll make quite a team as usual and you can have your office next to mine!"

Enthusiasm dripped off Sinclair's lips as he chattered eagerly about her new job and each moment had her smile growing wider and wider before she couldn't help but interrupt him with a high pitch cheer of happiness that stopped Sinclair in his tracks.

Amiee's brown eyes were alight and whether or not it was the lights making her eyes twinkle Sinclair couldn't help but be sucked into them just as he was her smile that he had noticed long ago was always more prominent towards her right side.

It was adorable. Everything about her was and for a moment he couldn't take his eyes off her as she practically danced in her seat. People were probably staring at them from the outburst but neither were concerned with anything other than each other.

Up until this moment, he had forgotten how much he had missed her initially when everything had happened. When she left there was this strange ache that he hadn't felt before. Yet seeing her so cheerful, so jovial in front of him now made him forget how long she had been gone and how much it had hurt when she had left. And in its own way, it made him forget his own unhappiness about his failed marriage because here was Amiee.

Even six years away from her and yet he still considered her his best friend even..even if she no longer did. But there was still a minuscule glimmer of hope that this was the case. Especially as he felt her leg gently tap his and her smile made him feel warmer than any summer could.

'Stop it, stop it, think logically Sinclair you're not the only person in her life she's happy about being hired nothing else. Don't be silly.'

"Sinclair thank you thank you thank you!" Amiee gushed, interrupting his chattering brain.

Her cheeks had begun hurting with how hard she was beaming at him and her heart thumped in joy at the semi-official news. While it wasn't a done thing until she signed papers it might as well have been as Sinclair never reneged from his word.

"Oh don't thank me, well I won't say no to thanks actually so you're welcome!" He smirked, looking quite pleased with himself at how well the deal had gone. "But thankfully HR turned everything around so quickly that you'll be pleased to know that I only had to talk to them once, no bothering of any kind needed just like you asked."

Things rarely went smoothly in the business world as they all knew but this had, and it made him feel even more confident that it was the right decision. That, and the way Amiee looked as if she was floating on Cloud 9 as he gave her the news made it also worth it as she continued to shine the rest of dinner.

They stayed for another hour or so before their waitress came with the bill seeing that they had eaten their fill and when Amiee reached for it she was startled slightly when Sinclair's arm shot out and grabbed it away from her.

"Sinclair no let's at least split the cheque please!" Amiee protested as he nabbed the tiny black fold the bill was in from her causing her to try and reach for it again.

This only made him turn his body away from her as if shielding it so that she couldn't get hold of it.

The waitress tending to them gave them an odd look but neither paid attention as Amiee was trying and failing to wrestle the bill from Sinclair who was adamant about paying for it.

"Absolutely not! This is your celebration and I'm not going to make you pay for it, especially with it being the first dinner we've had in forever," he fussed, pulling his wallet out and placing a few bills in it before handing it to the waitress telling her to keep the change.

The waitress whose lips quirked in bemusement thanked them before making her away from their table. No doubt going to tell her coworkers about the antics she had just witnessed.

"Plus take it as compensation for me being a downer for some of it!" He explained as he slid out from behind the table and walked over to Amiee's side of the table before offering her his arm.

"Alright now come on darling! It's supposed to be a nice evening out. Do you want to go on a walk before we head back to your place?"

A sigh of defeat fell from her lips at his question but she accepted his arm and got up from her seat. But as she took his arm she playfully bumped his side causing him to give her a puzzled look before a smirk on her lips appeared.

"Next time I'm paying, now lead the way, Mr.Bryant," she teased, causing him to chuckle before doing as she asked.

They had gotten back to her flat a little past 10 after they had taken a short stroll after dinner. And as promised once they returned she had allowed him to nose around her flat.

Anything interesting he saw he pointed it out, and he became especially thrilled when he saw the multiple canvases that decorated the hallway of the entrance.

"Amiee these are beautiful!" He admired staring at the details of each painting. "Did you paint all of these yourself?"

"No just these two," Amiee pointed to an acrylic painting of a city skyline that focused on the stars above and a nature scene that had flowers floating on a pound at sunset. "These though," she continued as Sinclair watched her eyes light up and she began to glow with pride as she motioned to a vibrant and colorful bouquet in a vase and another that was different from them all.

It was the side profile of a woman yet instead of a face her head had been sectioned off like a floor plan and inside each square there were different things. Flowers in one, tiny people in another, the sun, moon and some cogwheels in another. Each section had something different in it. All of it very abstract and yet all of it very beautiful including the profile of the subject who Sinclair thought looked very much like Amiee.

"They were from Angela, you remember my little sister?" Amiee pointed out examining the painted canvas and drawing his attention back to it as well. "It was a going away gift when I moved. A small something of her going with me as she said. I think she was like 17, 18 when she painted them but it's quite mint innit? She'll be going to the Royal College of Art in September actually!"

Sinclair began to mentally backtrack trying to remember if he had ever met her little sister before his lips went into an 'o' shape at a memory.

"Oh her! She was the one that found us snogging in my car when I dropped you off near your parent's home wasn't she?"

The choked laugh that left Amiee's throat caused Sinclair to look at her worriedly before his hand went to her back to gently pat her thinking she was actually choking. This only made her double over even more, causing his concern to increase for an instant before he began to share in her laughter.

"I-I'm fine Sinclair I'm fine," she gasped, still trying to get a hold of herself but failing to contain her amusement still. "Y-yes that's her, oh god haha! I almost had a heart attack because I thought it was the cops knocking at the window but it was her which made it somehow worse," she tittered remembering Angie's stunned expression when they locked eyes.

Amiee had never sprung away so fast from someone but being caught with your secret boyfriend by your little sister will do that to you. The walk home was awkward to say the least. But at least her sister had been very supportive of the relationship and had kept it from their parents as she had been asked.

As their laughter died down, they both shared a smile with each other, cheeks hurting from how much they had repeated the motion over the couple of hours they had been together. Yet neither minded as Amiee began to let Sinclair poke around some more, giving him free rein of her flat as if nothing had changed between them.

After a while of finding anything and everything interesting, he excused himself to the loo giving Amiee a chance to change into her more comfy house clothes looking forward to going straight to bed after he left. Not that she was going to rush him out no, but she was a bit knackered from all the excitement and was sure once her head hit the pillow she would be out.

"Amiee?" His voice echoed out of the bathroom as she heard the water turn from the sink faucet turn off.

"Hmm you okay?" She called grabbing a decorative pillow and curling up with it lazily.

"I'm fine!" he answered back before popping out of the bathroom but not before giving something one last glance. "I got a bit distracted with the lobster basket in your bathroom. Why do you have a lobster in there? I am a big fan of lobster and I learned recently there are 75 different species of them but I'm confused," he rambled on making his way over to the sofa ."It's very cute though! May I?" He asked, pointing to the empty spot next to her.

"Of course get comfortable! And are you talking about Sebastian, my menstruation crustacean?"

"You gave it a name did you?" He asked, delighted at the revelation of the object having a name. "How very you and it's one of those characters from The Little Mermaid?"

"Of course I did! Something as cute as him deserves one but yes he uhm," she paused, not really sure how else to explain it other than directly. They were all adults here. "Well he keeps all my period stuff on hand. It's easy access when any of the girls come by and Bloody Mary decides to follow them."

Sinclair nodded in understanding as he took his seat next to Amiee who scooted towards him still hugging her pillow as they sat in a tranquil silence.

It wasn't uncomfortable, but it was very odd when Sinclair of all people had nothing else to say and he seemed to realize that too as he began to fidget a bit with his fingers. Truthfully he did have something he wanted to ask that had been on his mind for a while, especially during dinner but he was unsure of how to word it gently. And it probably wasn't an exciting topic either but neither was the topic of his divorce so.

Amiee, who seemed to notice him fidgeting again, unfurled her arms from around the pillow and instead laid her hands on top of his. Feeling her fingers around his, Sinclair jumped a little at the closeness and turned to look at her. A gleam was in her eyes and before he knew it, she was asking him about the thing swirling in his mind.

"You're awfully quiet, something on your mind or," giving him a knowing look she added, "something you wanna ask?"

Had he forgotten the adoration he had for her, which he didn't, it would have all flooded back to him then at her question and her gesture. She had been the only person to notice his little tic it seemed and to show a type of care for him when she saw it.

Not even Natalie had noticed the signs of his anxiousness. Only telling him to stop moving around so much when he did get fidgety. It only made it worse.

Cogwheels turning in his mind about how to gently ask the question, he figured that he might as well be direct. Kind of like how he was with some of his clients even though she wasn’t his client. Hmm maybe he should be softer?

‘Oh come on Sinclair ask the damn question!’

"Erm I just wanted to know well…why did you come back Amiee?" Sinclair questioned as he furrowed his brows, his lips turning into a slight frown as he watched her shoulders slump. "At dinner it felt like you had a wonderful time in the States, studying, working, meeting new people yet you're here. And don't get me wrong I'm happy you're here because I've..."

'I've missed you and wished you never left.'

"Sinclair?"

The little tilt of her head and the comforting squeeze of his hand as she said his name made his heart speed up. For a split second, he wondered if he should drop the topic considering that in the back of his mind, he may have already known the answer and didn't want to become angry on her behalf. She had hated that before and he was sure she would hate it now but he had to know. Who would he be if he didn't poke around people's lives, especially people he lo-.

"I've missed you," he mumbled gently, stopping his thoughts from finishing the sentence that was forming as he watched her expression soften a bit and a wistful smile appear on her lips. "And I'm sorry we didn't stay in contact but I would have probably run your phone bill up into the thousands," he added on causing Amiee to chuckle at his attempt to lighten the mood that was somewhat somber.

"But it doesn't matter because I knew you were going to do wonderful things when you went there, and you did! You did more than wonderful you were successful and you seemed happy but now you're here and you were doing something that made you unhappy why did you come back to do something that made you unhappy?"

Unhappy.

Being a bank teller did make her unhappy and it did make her feel worthless she had expressed that many times. But there was an intensity in Sinclair's eyes that stopped her in her tracks signaling to her that he wasn't exactly talking about that.

His look reminded her that someone at work had once said he had a strange wisdom to him that one wouldn't expect from someone so...well so talkative as him and young too.

He loved to chit chat with people and loved to nose around but he did have an aura of wiseness once you actually sat down with him to talk. It was probably why he was so good at his job. And for a moment she was sure that in all his wisdom he knew what the answer was. Or at least had some sort of theory as to why she had come back.

It was the same thing that had made her run away in the first place. Granted she had never told him what had been the thing to break her, no she had been too broken up about everything else before she left.

"Well unfortunately I found out that-."

Going to answer him she was stopped by the sudden ringing of her house phone. The sharp sound of it filled the air as they looked up and in the direction of her kitchen.

"Ignore it, probably a wrong number they always call late at night I've gotten some before and let it ring of course I do pick up later if they keep calling," Sinclair said matter of factly looking back at Amiee who wore a bemused look on her face from his statement.

"Well hopefully they don’t call back I usually don't pick up after a certain time because you know sleeping," she answered before she slouched some more, her expression cooling a bit. "I don't know...I just...I knew it would be difficult being away from my family and friends. And that was fine because I mean I think you know how things were with them." Amiee said, looking up at Sinclair who nodded.

It was a sore subject, her family, and from the things she had confided in him he had understood why. Families were messy, he knew that all too well, but it seemed her life was a mismatch of paradoxes of doing something you didn’t really want to appease people who were supposed to love you with no strings attached. Yet she had told him, tearily one time, that she had felt like there were many strings attached.

That subject was the one that caused them to have their first disagreement for many reasons and he learned to tread lightly when it came to that. Even if everything in him just wanted to push back and argue about it he didn’t because he knew it was more complex than he could understand.

Which was saying something.

"But,” she continued drawing his attention in, their hands still holding one another, “the problem was I didn't realize how hard it was. Starting over is an art form and while I'm okay with a brush and canvas it's a bit more difficult when you're talking about your actual life."

And when you can't stop thinking about the possible consequences of running away instead of facing your problems.

Shaking her head to clear that thought, she looked up at Sinclair who had an understanding gaze in his eyes as he listened to her intently and it had been a while since she felt like someone was listening to her. Who would have thought it would be him of all people?

"If I'm being honest it was hard to cope when I was there. I mean don't worry I didn't go on a wild bender like some stories we've heard of people," she joked, causing him to crack a smile and murmur an amused 'of course you wouldn't'.

"But I don't know the entire time even when I tried to make friends, be sociable, it just felt off...it felt wrong and over time it was exhausting every day. Going to work, going to school, studying everything was just exhausting and I just," her voice wavered a bit and she felt a familiar burn in her eyes which she tried to keep at bay. "I really missed my family and my friends."

And you.

"We only called every other month for a few minutes but you know I never even came back for a visit for those few years. It was-."

Retelling him just a bit of what she felt when she was gone was enough for that deep seated loneliness to begin bubbling up to the surface again and it caused her to choke up. And from Sinclair's dower expression, she could tell that he had noticed the shift in her but she continued.

"It was isolating but I didn't want to tell anyone so I just worked through it because I didn't want to fail...didn't want to," her voice pitched upward with emotion this time and she clasped her hand against her mouth quickly.

A wide look of embarrassment was accompanied by eyes that shined not of happiness but the complete opposite before she wiped it away. "Oh god I'm sorry I'm ruining the day again aren't I with my bad topics?"

"No no of course not you could never ruin my day," Sinclair frowned as he went to wrap his arms around her shoulder, dragging her into a tight hug that had her breath hitching as he basically cuddled her towards his chest.

She couldn't help but notice the lovely citrus smell that wafted off of him as she laid her head on him. It was combined with a dark undertone that had her relaxing in his hold. It helped her if only slightly to ignore the discomfort in her own chest as she tentatively wrapped her arms around him in a hug.

"I was the one that asked you why you came back and I should be saying sorry for making you upset I just-."

Again the shrill noise from the phone ringing interrupted them once again to both of their chagrin.

"Do you usually get this many late night callers on a weekend?" Sinclair mused as Amiee huffed and turned her head to look down the hallway wondering who was calling this late.

"I don't and I'm trying to ignore it but if they call again I may answer it but I hope they don't."

They sat and let the phone ring until whoever on the other end figured out no one was going to reply or the operator hung up automatically. Either way, there was a sigh of relief from both when the noise stopped as it was a bit of an annoyance.

"Well that was anticlimactic don't you think?" Sinclair asked as Amiee deflated once again in his hold and he couldn't help but chuckle as she blew a piece of hair out of her face before just staying in his arms.

"But I'm sorry darling I didn't want to upset you. It just befuddled me when you showed up for the interview to be an assistant. And when you told me what you were doing I really thought something had to have gone wrong with the universe all things considered."

Looking up at him from her spot, Amiee was met with puzzled eyes that gleamed with apology and she couldn't help but feel a rush of emotion flood her.

"Don't be it looks like we’re just both bad at picking topics today," she smiled up at him, causing his puzzlement to change into a warm grin that had her heart dancing. "I'm just happy it was you that day. I...missed you and I do wish we stayed in contact but look at us now."

Amber colored eyes lit up at her admission before softening and Sinclair hugged her tighter than he had already been. There was a glint in both of their eyes as they sat studying one another.

Maybe...just maybe.

"Amiee?"

He asked, his voice unusually soft and his tone taking on something akin to velvet as his lips ghosted against her forehead. It caused her to tense in his arms as he lowered his face so that his breath tickled her face before their lips ghosted against each other.

Her breath hitched and slowly he leaned in and for a moment, she was going to let him do it, let him kiss her. Because if she was being honest to herself she had thought of him too often and unbeknownst to her, he had been guilty of doing the same.

'He's still married Amiee, you can't!'

Ah there her inner thoughts were. Always coming to save the day...or make it worse.

"Sinclair we can't," Amiee whimpered as the realization struck her and she turned her head to the side even though she so wanted to kiss him. "You're still married and...I don't...I don't want this to complicate it."

Yet she still had her arms wrapped around him as he went to nuzzle her cheek gently and the whine that left her throat when he kissed her cheek tenderly had a shiver run through his body.

It's not like anyone was watching. What harm was one kiss it wasn't as if she was against being with him. On the contrary, the little devil on her shoulder had been screeching at her louder and louder since he had picked her up to never let him go again.

Even if the pit in her stomach was nagging at her. Telling her that maybe he was just using her. She had heard of people getting back with their exes or starting relationships as a way to get through the rough patches in life. What if this was a case of that rebound?

No, no, no this was Sinclair she was talking about! He would never use her like that. In all her time knowing him, he was sunshine, he was happiness a bright spot on a dull day. A loyal friend and even with his faults he still had a pureness that was unnatural for a man of his age and his class it was strange.

And it was what she had grown to love about him so what was so wrong with this?

"Sinclair-." "Amiee-."

'BRRRRRING!'

The shrill ring of the telephone cut them both off this time halting any movement between them as it began to ring over and over.

"Ah for fucks sake!" Amiee hissed snapping out of the stupor that they both had been put in.

"It's rung about three times now," Sinclair frowned as he nuzzled the top of her head before touching her forehead with his own again. "Should you get it?"

She did say she was going to answer it if it rang another time. Whoever was calling her had better have a good reason to be.

With a little huff, Amiee looked at Sinclair once more, his eyes still had an intensity in them that made them so much more beautiful and before she knew what she was doing, she took a quick breath and grabbed both sides of his cheeks.

Leaning up she kissed his forehead sweetly before scrambling off the sofa and making her way to the kitchen to catch the phone leaving Sinclair bewildered and wide eyed.

Her own heart felt like it was going to explode out of her chest and her cheeks were certainly red with how warm she felt from her sudden actions.

Padding over to the phone she let out a long exhale before picking up and hoping it was just someone who had the wrong number so that she could get this over with quickly.

"Hello?" Amiee asked or more accurately spat confused and a little annoyed at having her time with Sinclair interrupted.

"Xuemei!" The sudden distressed wail of her Chinese name from her mother had Amiee sobering up immediately from any of that annoyance as it quickly turned into dread as her heart plummeted to her stomach at her mother's tone. "Where have you been why haven't you picked up the phone I've called you so many times!"

It was never good when a parent called late Amiee had heard from people before, and as rushed Mandarin poured from the other end causing her to try and calm her mother down she understood why as panic settled heavy in her.

"Mama I've been with my friend. What's wrong, why are you calling at this time-."

"You need to come home right now!" Her mother sobbed loudly, her voice cracking as she interrupted Amiee, causing bile to rise in her throat as her grip on the phone tightened.

Her mother didn't cry.

"It's Qiuxiang, she's in the hospital and the doctors can't wake her up! You need to come home!"

A/N: Me to me: Don't make it angsty no need for angst Also me to me: lets give characters more trauma for the funsies! What can i say we need a semi balance of plot and angst is always a nice go to! Now lets see what happens next huh? (whenever that will be :D )

#sinclair x oc #sinclair bryant #alan rickman character #the art of entangled hearts #blossom writes

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