#lucie is still alive in my heart <3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bella-rose29 · 5 months

Text

Deck the Halls (and not your partner) - Part 1

Anthony Lockwood x fem!reader, enemies to lovers, fake dating, set at Christmas (because I'm feeling festive)

Word count: 3.1k

Warnings: swearing, lockwood is an arse, so is the reader, it's enemies to lovers what were you expecting really, Norrie is alive for the plot, I am British so if you're confused about words then that's why, mentions of extended family members being meanies, I think that's it?

Tag list is at the bottom (it's getting too long to put up here now), and as always if you would like to be added to/removed from it, then ask here or send me a note! <3

series master list

"Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!"

It was safe to say that Y/n L/n was not having a good morning.

George had been watching her over the top of his paper while she paced the living room on the phone, his eyebrows changing between furrowing and raising as he tried to figure out what was happening with only one half of the conversation.

"Are you... alright?" He wasn't the best at this sort of thing, but when it came to his friends he tried to put some sort of effort in to show that he cared about them. Y/n huffed, pinching the bridge of her nose and looking like she was about to break into tears. If that happened George would have to go and get Lucy, because he definitely had no idea how to deal with Y/n when she cried. Normally he went and made her tea and plated up some biscuits, and she always accepted with a grateful smile and a lot of sniffles and let him leave again when he stood awkwardly near her, shuffling his feet on the spot.

He got the feeling that wouldn't be happening now, and he'd be held hostage instead.

"It's my mum. You know I've got this family Christmas thing coming up, right?" She paused while George nodded, taking her hand away from her face to see his reaction, then continuing on as she gestured wildly. "She seems to think I have a boyfriend, which I absolutely do not-"

"What, really?" George exclaimed sarcastically, pressing his hands over his heart in mock surprise. Y/n glared at him, looking incredibly non-threatening in her very jolly Christmas jumper. He resisted the urge to snort, knowing full-well that his friend spent most of the time complaining whenever relationships were the topic of conversation, since she couldn't understand why she was still single.

"As I was saying," another glare was aimed his way, "Mum thinks I have a boyfriend, and my aunt overheard her on the phone just now talking about my non-existent boyfriend, and it was Aunt Linda-"

"The one who gossips to everybody?"

"Yes!" Y/n jabbed a finger in George's direction, expression wild and fierce. "The one who gossips to everybody! So by now I think my entire fucking extended family and every single family friend knows that I have a boyfriend, who does not exist, and thinks that he's coming to our family Christmas in the middle of fucking nowhere!"

"I thought it was your childhood town?"

"Which is in the middle of nowhere! Genuinely nothing but fields and forests and the general countryside for miles and miles. Oh, and to top that all off, my cousin will be there-"

"The bitchy one who makes you feel like shit who you also thought wasn't coming this year?"

"Yes. Her. And Linda is her mum so Steph'll definitely know." Y/n finished, throwing herself into the sofa with a groan, turning over slightly, and screaming into a pillow.

George was about to stand up and head to the kitchen to put the kettle on (Y/n normally screamed not long before crying full-out) when Lockwood poked his head through the door, frowning at the sight before him.

"Everything alright?"

"Y/n's having a crisis. Fancy a cuppa, Lockwood?" George properly got up now, glad that another member of the household was here to deal with the situation. Lockwood nodded, then frowned again when he realised that George was escaping and shutting the two of them in a room together. Lockwood absolutely could have left anytime he wanted, but it was likely that Y/n thought he'd volunteered for the role of caretaker and couldn't leave without looking like an arse, or starting yet another argument between the two of them.

George breathed a sigh of relief, then made for the kitchen. He'd need a cup of tea in a minute when Y/n realised who was there to comfort her.

~~~

"The fuck do you want, Lockwood?"

"I- uh... what's... what's the problem?" His voice sounded pained, like he really didn't want to be in the room, and Y/n rolled her eyes.

"If you don't care, then leave," she said, attempting to hide the wobble in her voice at the thought of having to find someone to drag to her family gathering for three days, where she would be interrogated and prodded and poked and watched every second of every minute of every day, and criticised for every tiny thing she did. She was dreading it, really, but at least the third day would just be her immediate family and her non-existent boyfriend. The first two days would be filled with inquisitive relations that hadn't seen her since last year, wondering about her job and why she hadn't pursued something more stable, or asking about her love life (that was completely uneventful) and why she wasn't thinking about settling down.

Lockwood's frustrated sigh brought her out of her thoughts, and she pulled her face out of the pillow enough to see him clenching his jaw as he studied the wall with a lot more interest than it deserved. "Fine. Vent if you need to. Can I help at all, or are you going to get on my nerves until you leave?"

"Do you always have to be such a dick, Lockwood? Or are you like that because you're compensating?"

"Fuck off."

"Lovely comeback," she snapped, turning to lie on her back, staring up at the ceiling instead of at her boss' face. If she looked at him any longer she might bore holes through his head with the intensity of her glare. Neither of them said anything for a minute, the only sounds the clock ticking away in the corner, counting down to her imminent doom, and George in the kitchen making tea. "My family thing, this weekend. Everyone thinks I'm bringing my boyfriend."

"You don't have a boyfriend though."

"I know that, Lockwood. But my family think that I do have one, and now I have less than forty-eight hours to find one." She heard him snort, and squeezed her eyes shut in the hopes that it would block out his next words.

"Good luck with that. Maybe Kipps'll volunteer? He needs the free food."

"Can't you have just the tiniest bit of sympathy for me?" She pushed up, moving to sit and direct her frustration at Lockwood. "I am in a near-impossible situation here and you're being insufferable right now!"

"Maybe you should take Lockwood," George said, and Y/n jumped at the sound of his voice in the living room.

"Where the fuck did you come from?" she asked, already eyeing up the plate of biscuits on the tea tray. "Wait," Y/n paused as she properly registered George's words. "Take him?" Lockwood looked just as horrified by the idea of it, shaking his head frantically.

"Yeah. Oh, here's your tea, Y/n/n."

"What about you, George?! Surely you could come along and help me out instead?!"

"I thought I told you already, I'm going to my own family's house for Christmas. Lucy's going to stay with Norrie, and Holly's spending the holidays with her girlfriend. Lockwood's alone, in this big old house, and you've got limited time and also limited options." Y/n was annoyed at how right George was, but she wasn't giving in so easily. Not when giving in meant spending three days with the one person she despised more than anything in the world.

"Fine, if you have no other options by the time you need to leave, I'll go with you. But I will not enjoy a second of it if I do," Lockwood finally ground out, and Y/n had to fight back a look of surprise at his words.

"You- what?"

"It saves being in this house alone over Christmas. I've done that one too many times now, and at least your family will be a distraction. And," he added, "a great way to see all your baby photos." His smile was wolfish, and Y/n wondered how anybody ever found it charming.

"Alright. But I'm finding someone else, so it looks like you'll have to miss out on this one I'm afraid." Her smile was simpering, sugar sweet and sickly with how faked it was.

George looked between the two of them, then sank back into his armchair with his tea. "That's that sorted then."

~~~

It was absolutely not sorted.

Y/n was panicking. A lot. Apparently nobody fancied spending Christmas with some random agent for three days in the literal middle of fucking nowhere with her entire extended family, which was incredibly inconvenient for Y/n.

She now was supposed to be leaving in roughly two hours, and was frantically shoving the last few things in her suitcase while phoning anybody that she could attempt to pass off as her fake boyfriend.

Anybody that meant she didn't have to take Lockwood.

Perhaps if he wasn't such an asshole all the time, she'd be less reluctant, but since the first day they'd met he'd been rude to her.

It had been after a job, three years ago back when she was a solo agent taking any work that meant she could keep a roof over her head and food in her belly. Her night had been long, making her tired and weary with how much her bones ached, and she was hardly looking where she was going when she turned the corner onto her street, making her bump into a tall figure. Her first thought when the two of them stumbled away from each other was how gorgeous this boy was, and her second was how utterly awful his personality was. She had apologised before she could see his face, already muttering excuses and explaining her lack of coordination, but within seconds he was opening his mouth and talking, telling her that she should have been more alert and "could she not stand on his shoes, they're new" and she'd taken a proper look at him and decided that yes, he was pretty, but he was also not particularly nice.

Then a few months later she'd seen an ad in the paper for a small agency that had needed a new agent, preferably with strong Touch, and had chosen to go along for an interview. What she hadn't expected was the boy from that night to be the one interviewing her, and evidently he was just as shocked to see her, his expression quickly settling into a frown.

"No thank you. We don't want careless agents like you, thank you very much." His words had stung more than she cared to admit, making the backs of her eyes prick and her throat close up with emotion. She'd almost turned tail and walked out the door (something she very rarely did), but a girl dressed mostly in blue and with an excited smile on her face came in to the room, asking if this was their new recruit. Apparently the boy couldn't say no to her, or the other girl that appeared a few moments later with her clothes all neat and ironed, or indeed the other boy with glasses and curly hair who had ketchup stains on his t-shirt. Within minutes of the three of them arriving in the room, Y/n had a job at the company as an agent with a strong sense of Touch, and was being given a biscuit and a cup of tea.

She had quickly learned that the first girl was Lucy, the second was Holly, and the curly-haired boy was George, and then Lockwood had introduced himself as the head of the company.

"Don't you have... supervisors?" she had asked, confused as to just how this company worked exactly.

"No." His smile had been tight, and he had left the room right after, pushing past his colleagues and heading up the stairs. Lucy had been quick to fill in the rest, explaining all the answers to every question that Y/n had, with Holly and George chipping in when she forgot something.

Lockwood had continued his behaviour from that day ever since, despite Y/n's best efforts to get him to like her, and eventually after a few months of attempted friendship offers, she gave up and leaned into the whole hating each other schtick that was apparently happening.

So no, she did not want to have to bring Lockwood to her family gathering for three days and pretend to love him. She didn't want to do that at all.

Unfortunately, it was starting to look as though she wouldn't have a choice.

~~~

"Well? Please? Come on, I never beg for anything from you."

"I know, and I'm actually rather enjoying it."

"Prick," Y/n muttered, frowning at Lockwood. "You said that you'd do it if you had to. Well, you have to. So pack your bags and let's go; the train's in an hour."

"Fine. But I am not happy about this." He made his way back inside his bedroom, leaving Y/n stood outside the door (she refused to cross the threshold of this one particular room).

"Oh, because I am personally so ecstatic about this situation!" Her voice was thick with sarcasm, and Lockwood paused in his packing to glare at her.

"It's not my fault you couldn't find somebody to pretend to date you for three days."

"No, but I'll blame you anyway."

"Charming."

"Hmm. Hurry up."

"We've got ages, stop fretting like a mother."

"The train leaves in an hour, and it takes ten minutes to get there. Then you have to factor in maybe five to ten minutes of traffic, and difficulties getting through the gates at the station which is what, another five minutes? And then if there are any problems with the actual trains then we want to be early just in case so that a plan can be made to get a different one, and also if there aren't any problems then we at least want to be there early so that we can get on first and get a table. So no, we haven't got ages, we've got minutes before we need to go. Hurry up."

Lockwood had been staring at her in disbelief while she talked, his jaw slack and his eyes wide, but when Y/n glared at him again he went back to packing. "You really think that much about travelling?"

"There is so much that can go wrong with trains, so yes."

"Fine," Lockwood huffed, coming out of his room to cross into the bathroom, grabbing his wash bag out of the cupboard and shoving a toothbrush and flannel in. "Where's the toothpaste?"

"I've got some, so we can share. Trust me, you don't want to share with George. He's like a dragon with the way he hoards his toothpaste."

Lockwood gave her a weird look as he zipped up the bag, heading back into his room to finish stuffing items into the large bag he was taking with him as luggage. Y/n was sure he'd repurposed a kit bag for this, but if it meant she wasn't having to explain to everyone why she had failed at bringing a boyfriend that didn't even exist then she supposed she could forget about where the kit was currently being stored.

"Ok, I think that's everything," he said, running a hand through his hair as he stood up, yanking the bag up and over his shoulder. He was still in a suit, which Y/n thought was ridiculous since they didn't even have any meetings today other than the one with her family, and when they made it to the bottom of the stairs he grabbed his jacket and signature long coat. Y/n was already in her own winter coat, thick scarf wrapped around her neck and gloves poking out her pocket, her boots echoing throughout the building. They were the only two left now, since the other three had already left for their own Christmas celebrations, so Lockwood had to spend an extra minute finding the keys to lock up, and then another minute trying to put them back in his pocket. In the end, Y/n was so frustrated with how long he was taking that she snatched the keys from his hand and shoved them in the chest pocket on the inside of his coat, turning and dragging her small suitcase behind her into the pre-booked taxi.

"Sorry, he takes a while to do things every now and then. He's immensely stupid," she said, smiling at the driver as the man put her suitcase in the boot of his taxi. He looked concerned, frowning up at Lockwood where he was coming down the stairs, then nodded slightly, his expression morphing into confusion.

The drive itself was fast, and there were no problems at the station, but Y/n still couldn't help but feel that something would go wrong on their journey to her parents' house.

"The only thing that's wrong-"

"Don't say that, you bastard!"

"-is me being here."

"Oh. Well, that's true."

"Why couldn't you have just gone on your own?"

"You'll see when you meet everyone. Are you... will you be alright? I mean, it's literally everybody still alive in my family along with all of our close friends, which is near on fifty people, all in my parents' house."

"What are you trying to say?" Lockwood's expression was stony, and a coldness had come into his eyes that Y/n had only ever seen back when she was trying to be his friend and asked about his family. She had since learned that they had died when he was young, and had steered well clear of the subject afterwards.

"I just... it's a lot for me, and I do this every year. I can't imagine how awful this'll be for someone who's..." she trailed off, trying to find the right words.

"Who's family is dead?" Lockwood asked, more forcefully than he needed to.

"No, I didn't mean-" Y/n said.

"Sure," he cut her off, tone sharp and as bitter as the wind that was whipping around them. She tried to speak again, but he scoffed and turned away before she could explain what she had really meant by her words. Lockwood didn't seem to be relenting anytime soon, instead choosing to stare out at the tracks with a clenched jaw. The conversation died, and they didn't say a word until the train pulled up to the platform and they were attempting to find a good seat.

When they were finally sat down, bags secure and able to relax a little, Y/n sighed softly at Lockwood's still tense figure. He wasn't looking at her, which she supposed was a good thing because generally when he looked at her he was coming up with something rude to say. But if they wanted this to work, they needed to be talking.

And apparently, Y/n had pissed off her fake boyfriend.

Ugh, she thought. This is going to be a fucking shitshow.

part 2

Tag list (hopefully this is everyone): @anathemaloren, @augustisintheair, @avdiobliss, @briar-rose23, @curseofhecate, @dangelnleif, @el-de-phi, @ell0ra-br3kk3r, @informedimagining, @karensirkobabes, @locknco, @mischivana, @mitskiswift99, @mrsklockwood, @mrsyixingunicorn10, @no-morning-glories, @novelizt, @ran23sblog, @superpositvecloudshipper, @t2sh0, @taygrls, @tournesol77, @whenselenefallsinlove, @wordsarelife

#lockwood and co #anthony lockwood #lockwood & co #anthony lockwood x reader #anthony lockwood x you #lockwood x reader #enemies to lovers #fake dating #christmas

168 notes · View notes

carefulfears · 10 months

Note

top ten mulder moments <3

DREAM ASSIGNMENT, UNHINGING MY JAW, ETC. buckle up babes!

1/ oubliette

all of oubliette really but there’s this one moment where he’s in the police station and he’s watching the video of lucy when she was 13 after escaping her kidnapper and she’s writhing around on the floor screaming and she can barely speak full sentences and she’s afraid of the light. and in the present day, she’s an addict living in a halfway house with convictions for drug possession and prostitution.

and he’s watching this tape and scully comes in and he says “it’s amazing she’s gotten anywhere in life” and scully says “by most yardsticks, she hasn’t.”

she has, though. she’s alive and she’s trying and she’s clean and passing her drug tests and she has a job. and that’s how he sees her, and that’s how he treats her throughout the episode. he tells her that she’s “the strong one” and he asks for her help and her opinion, he tells her that he just wants to know what she’s going through. he defends her to law enforcement and believes her when everyone else thinks she’s an accomplice. he weeps over her body when she dies, grieves the loss of her life.

it would be easy for him, as someone whose sister was kidnapped at the same age lucy was, to see her as a nightmare. she’s struggling and she’s traumatized and she’s an addict and a felon. but he doesn’t, he views her as hopeful, and you can tell that he respects her. he views her as having gotten somewhere in life, just because she’s still alive. and that more than anything really means a lot to me.

2/ paper hearts

in paper hearts when they find the 15th victim’s body and they think it’s samantha. and he’s standing there over it, shaking, looking down at what might be his baby sister’s corpse. what might be the end of the road.

and it might all be over, in this moment. he might not be able to search anymore, to hope anymore, to do the only thing he’s ever done every day for 24 years anymore.

and you just feel the crushing weight of it all, and then scully comes in with the lab results and says that it isn’t her. and he just buckles for a moment and takes a breath.

before standing up and saying, “it’s somebody though.”

it’s such a testament to his character to me, that he can’t sit in that relief for even a minute. it might not be his baby sister, but it’s somebody, and he grieves for them.

(not “somebody’s sister/daughter,” but somebody)

3/ one breath

the shot of him crying on the floor of his ransacked apartment.

he was offered a choice between staying there, waiting to see the bad guys, finding the only thing he’s ever wanted, the answers…and going to sit by scully’s hospital bed, when it might be the end.

and he left that apartment and held her hand.

as moving as that scene is, it’s the aftermath that always gets me. it’s the consequences. it’s the price that you pay for choosing to stay soft, the way that mr. x looks at him in this same episode and tells him that he’ll never win, he doesn’t have the heart.

so he walks away from the battle and comes back to the wreckage, and all he can do is sit down on the floor and weep.

(also if i think even a little about him giving scully the superstars of the super bowl tape, i’ll literally make myself ill crying)

4/ sein und zeit

when, after spending the entire episode obsessively insisting to everyone who will listen that the missing little girl is “not dead,” he says that they should just go home.

that they are not going to find those people’s daughter alive, that he is too close to this case to make a sound judgement, and that he wants to take some time away from work.

seven years after scully chased him into the street and yelled for him to “stop running after” samantha, and a day after she followed him into a hallway to tell him to not go looking for something he doesn’t want to find, the person whose “relentlessness” has kept him searching for nearly 30 years, just wants to go home.

he’s depended for so many years on the delusion, on the hope, on the belief that every child to go missing from their home is “not dead.” and now he stares at the ground in front of two people who love him, and admits to being wrong. to needing a break.

it’s one of the saddest moments of the series to me, but there is such an acceptance in admitting defeat, and it’s a subtle precursor to his decision in the following episode that he’s ready to know the truth about what happened to samantha. the delusion isn’t helping anyone. not him, not samantha, not this missing little girl. and it’s devastating and freeing at the same time.

5/ je souhaite

his genie wish. i have the softest spot in my heart for je souhaite mulder okay!! this is the mulder that called the jersey devil “beautiful” and ran through the woods to try to save it. the mulder that couldn’t bear to add to the soul eater monster’s suffering, even when it would’ve saved his own life.

i love that the first thing he does is ask the genie what she would wish for, just because he wants to know. and you can see how much 500 years of being a slave to people’s selfish desires has weighed on her, in the way she tells him that she would just want her days to be her own. to sit and have a cup of coffee.

i love that he tries to win at the genie wish, to save the world. tries to construct the perfect wording and all-encompassing fool-proof plan. throws around words like ending “tyranny.” and in the end, just deletes it all, and wishes for the genie to be free. that ending shot of her, finally her own person for the first time in 500 years, sitting having a cup of coffee, is one of my favorite moments of the series.

i love the lesson in this episode too, for someone who spends his whole life trying to make up for the fact that he lived when his sister didn’t, that he doesn’t have to figure out how to save the entire world. he can call his best friend and sit on his couch and watch caddyshack. but he asks the genie what she would wish for, because he genuinely cares, and he chooses to use his wish to give it to her, because he can do that.

6/ pilot

these tags: “this man is overflowing with reverent tenderness.”

the Moment™️ in his motel room…this is when you can see it. this is when both scully and the audience understand something. this is when it’s all over.

they’ve both been kind of concealing so much, behind sarcasm or professionalism. they really like each other. they want to trust each other. but she was sent to spy on him, to debunk him, and neither of them have any reason to believe it’ll be more than that.

when the power goes out and scully feels the marks on her back, she is just so scared. she is so young, and this is her first job, and she’s becoming exposed to things that she had never considered. when she walks into mulder’s motel room in only her robe, and then drops it, she’s afraid, and also acutely aware of her own vulnerability.

the way the camera hangs on his face (he’s the focus, not her exposure, what is he seeing?), in the candlelight, as she exposes her body to him and he just checks to make sure she’s okay.

what he’s seeing is her vulnerability, and he responds by both sheltering and matching it; he wraps her up and gives her the bed, sits below her on the floor. he tells her about sam. he tells her about what “matters” to him. and it isn’t something that he tells people, but anxiously walking mostly-naked into the room of your new assignment isn’t something that she does either, and he understands that.

it’s 2 episodes later in squeeze when scully makes her decision, she’s “on the side of the victim,” on the side of the vulnerable. but it’s a motel room in bellefleur where she learns what that side is, where that work is being done.

(related, conduit: the way that he shuts scully's concerns about him down, then validates them quietly, when they're alone. tells her what his life actually is. that it's "walking into that room," every day, feeling like maybe one day he'll open his eyes and his sister would be there. you really get the sense that he's never told anyone that before, but that it's something he turns over in his mind, something he's always aware of. he's saying: you're right, this is what i do, but i don't know how to do anything different. how am i meant to do anything different? it has always been this way. and it's the only thing that you need to hear him say to really get it. it's the only thing that scully needed to hear him say. this is the most vulnerable revelation that he ever makes, a month into their partnership. she never forgets it.)

7/ anasazi

just a little moment that i think about a lot is the way that after mulder sees his dad in colony and tries to hug him, and gets cut off with a handshake, the next time that he sees bill, in anasazi, he reaches out to shake his hand.

he notices everything, he internalizes everything, he only wants to give what he understands as wanted from him.

he knows that his dad does not want to hug him, and he still reaches to him first, offers that connection that bill is comfortable with.

(it always makes me think of the first time he met jackson. the way that the first thing he did after “my name is mulder, i’m your father. i know it must seem strange to you.” was hug him… “became a father while i was still a son,” or whatever the national said.)

8/ emily

you guys. you guys 🥺. this whole episode just really gets me so bad. the way emily is “shy” and doesn’t speak or really look at anyone, and the only time we see her smile is when mulder makes her laugh, as soon as she met him. him yelling at the doctor (i love that the show, through mulder, actually says the term “medical rapists.” like yes let’s call it what it fucking is!) and saying he wants everything that could help her. when emily's sick, and mulder instantly picks her up to hold her.

but the moment to me, the one that stays with me, is the very end. it's the funeral. it's when all is said and done. and scully asks...who could do this? who could bring a life into this world whose only purpose is to die? and mulder answers, "i don't know. but that you found her, and had a chance to love her...maybe she was meant for that too."

he looks at a person who was created to be used for other's gain, literally manufactured intentionally to suffer and then die, and he believes...maybe that's not all that she was meant for. maybe she was still meant to be known, to be found, to be loved. and they did love her.

(the way he shows up late to the funeral, but scully knows he's coming to get her, tells her mom she's going to ride back with him. the way he turns away from the casket, never able to look loss in the eye, but turns back so scully isn't in it alone. the way he brings flowers, like he brought flowers to the hospital when scully was diagnosed, like he stopped to bring flowers to missy's grave.)

9/ beyond the sea + lazarus

my father is dead (long live my father!)

y’all ever think about how sparingly and intentionally mulder says “dana”? y’all ever think about how she’d only ever been “scully,” to him, until “how are you, dana?” the day of her father’s funeral? the way she looked up at him, as he gently touched her cheek.

the first thing that scully does after her father dies, is tell mulder that she believes in a psychic. (“i thought that you would be pleased that i opened myself to extreme possibilities”).

the first thing that mulder does is sit down, lower himself beneath her, (he has done this since the motel room in bellefleur, the day they met), and look up to her to ask: “does this have to do with your father? you said that he didn't approve of you becoming an FBI agent. now, if being on the job now makes you feel guilty or uncomfortable or uneasy, i think you should back away. because if it’s clouding your judgment, you’re putting yourself in danger.”

(he is always listening, he is always more aware than people think. he perceives her attempts to “please” him as dangerous, or uncomfortable for her. encourages her to step back.)

when she starts to cry and walks across the room, she’s dana again. she’s not her father’s “starbuck,” she’s not mulder’s “scully.”

“dana…open yourself up to extreme possibilities, only when they’re the truth.”

in lazarus, it’s only 2 episodes later (2 episodes after “i’m afraid to believe”) when jack willis dies. (“along the way, there are other fathers.”)

mulder spent that whole fucking episode doing his lil tricks and tips and pulling out his lil experts trying to convince her that jack had been body-swapped, including the story about watches stopping at time of death. when jack dies, and all that’s left is the watch she had given him, stopped at the same time as his heart, she looks up to mulder for answers so softly.

and his response: “it means…it means whatever you want it to mean. goodnight.”

he spends his life begging for belief, but never at the cost of her integrity, her peace. he cannot be “pleased” by a forgoing of self, a forgoing of what she’s ready for.

(looking at this now, it also reminds me of irresistible, and the way that he told her that it’s understandable to be upset, to be affected. “i’ve seen agents with 20 years fall apart on cases like this.” it’s not because she’s young, it’s not because she’s inexperienced, it’s not because she’s traumatized. it’s because she’s human. and it’s good, it’s right.)

10/ redux ii

my favorite moment of this episode is when scully sees mulder through the window of her hospital room for the first time, and he plasters that smile on his face, comes in to sit on the bed and hold her hand and kiss her cheek. and she keeps trying to ask him about the conspiracy, about what happened at the pentagon, about who the inside man at the FBI is, and he just keeps quietly telling her that he's not there to talk about that. and she keeps pushing questions until he leans in to her and smiles and says... "hey, scully, how 'bout those yankees?"

hey, scully, it's not about that. for as many years as he's gone doing nothing but obsessing over conspiracies to anyone who will listen, he isn't there to talk about conspiracies. he's there to hold her hand, to keep that smile on his face so maybe she won't worry, to break down by her bedside as soon as she's asleep. he just wants to spend time with her. in reduxes, they aren't ahab and starbuck. they aren't charging forward or dutifully shepherding on. they're buckling in hallways. they're clinging to a hand through tears.

there is just no room: for their roles, for their pretenses, in the end. in this moment, he isn't the "mad captain" who cares about nothing more than the quest. he's the man who walked away from the fight so that he could sit next to her, who gave up all of his answers so that she could see her sister one last time. he's the man who "refused to believe" that she was dying, but still celebrated her birthday that year for the first time ever, just so that she would have it. and in that hospital room, at the end, through teary eyes and shaky smiles, it just isn't about anything bigger. she doesn't have to die as dutiful to the cause, for him to be there with her.

(the final shot of this episode is one of my favorites too. when scully is cured, she is going to live, her family is in her room celebrating with her, and mulder is crying alone in the hall.

these tags: "all his open love and loneliness and numbness and fear of loss. he's such a gentle man. he kills but he is gentle in his heart. he takes so many beatings and he listens quietly and has no shame. it's hard for him to play the games men play. this ending. he just found out scully is going to live. and everyone else is in there with her. and he has to sit outside. and it all hits him in one go. his sister. his parents. scully. his wasted years. his stupidity and arrogance. how many times has this happened to one of us. you grit your teeth and get through unimaginable difficulty. and then when it's all over you can't celebrate. it hits you on your own in a terrible way."

i always think of that. i always think of superstars of the superbowl. i always think of how ill-equipped and in-adequate we are, when it comes down to it, to deal with grief and trauma and loss. how "we bury our dead alive." and in the end it's "the best news" he ever could've heard, and that steady smile is reduced to sobs.)

honorable mention from paper hearts: i fear that i simply have to talk about him shooting roche in the head...did everybody see him shoot roche in the head? i thought him shooting roche in the head was lovely. you can watch it tear him apart, leading up to the moment. roche sitting in front of him, taunting him. how sure are you? you'll never know without me. but ultimately, he looks over at caitlyn, and he can't risk it. he had told caitlyn, "my name is fox, i'm gonna take you home." and then he did, even when ensuring she was found safe and well, meant sacrificing everything he'd been looking for.

the transition from that moment on the bus (roche's blood on the windows, caitlyn's screams, mulder's gun) to the walls of the basement office...the way the camera slowly pans over the UFO articles. the "i want to believe." the mysteries. all of that wishful thinking (as roche had said earlier: "it's like you think your world will be okay as long as you can believe in like...flying saucers") contrasted to the flesh and blood of the evil he's trying to escape. and, in the end, all there is left is one heart in front of him. one last victim that he'll never know the truth about, because he wasn't willing to risk the price paid for answers.

(and then scully says...but we will find her. how? "i don't know. but i do know you.")

honorable mention from oubliette: my top 2 episodes do be my top 2 episodes but there are few moments in this series that just make my heart sink to my stomach more than the image of mulder crying over lucy's body...that triptych line: "mulder who still grimaced at cadavers and cried over the bodies of dead women where most men she knew couldn't muster the wherewithal to appear disturbed."

lightning round appreciation for my favorite little tiny moments we don't talk about enough: casually giving his hotel key to the unhoused man in the jersey devil; holding kevin and telling him he knows he just wants his sister back in conduit; helping roland pick out a shirt to wear ("i think this one would look stylin' today, what do you think?") in roland; going back in for the kids even though he's afraid/had failed before, in fire; marty saying she "just knew" he would be at her sentencing, even though she couldn't see him, in mind's eye; taking scully to the liberty bell, after she complained about wanting a life outside of work, in shadows; when cassandra told him that reading news stories about him saved her life, because no one would ever believe her, until she found out about him, in patient x; telling skinner to get marita off the stand, "no. let her go," even though her testimony was the only thing that could save him, in the truth; telling off the sheriff in conduit who said it was "only a matter of time" before "something bad" happened to ruby because she "was no prom queen"; telling scully that he doesn't care if she comes with him or not, but he's not giving up on ruby "until they find a body."

#and also all of the rest of them. all of the rest of the things that he did in the franchise.#trish you're sickkk for inviting this madness but thank you bc i loved doing this even tho #i stared at it for 2 days as though i were sisyphus staring at his boulder #asks #sorry this is sooo much i went all out bc when else am i gonna have an excuse to gab appreciatively like this :)#but this is kinda my magnum opus of weepy apologia #i tried to pick a variety of like my Favorite favorite + ones that i think are central to his character

156 notes · View notes

lewkwoodnco · 4 months

Text

my tears ricochet but in the context of locklyle after lucy leaves in thb:

"even on my worst day did I deserve babe all the hell you gave me" -> lockwood being so emotionally stunted didnt know how to work thru his feelings in any way other than distancing himself for lucy through no fault of hers (or his technically)

"I swear I loved you till my dying day" -> even throughout their fight/all the way till she left (and even beyond that) lucy loved lockwood so much despite how cold he was to her and how hurt she felt GIVE MY GIRL A BREAK

"you know I didn't want to have to haunt you" -> lucy and lockwood being irrevocably tied to each other

"I didn't have it in myself to go with grace" -> all the fights with holly where lucy was acting arguably petty/immature but only because she was losing her favourite person to someone else

"and you're the hero flying around, saving face" -> lockwood always wanting to preserve his/the company's reputation, wanting to be the best/the 'hero,' acting distant from lucy cuz he wouldn't confront/accept the reality of their relationship (+ strain from him wishing she wouldnt be so reckless which like LOL pot kettle black etc)

"and if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake?" -> pre aickmere's incident, where lucy was getting more and more desperate but he was still so cold towards her

"cursing my name, wishing I stayed" -> sums up lockwood's complicated/conflicting feelings about lucy SO well, he loves her but also hates her for putting herself in danger and is so scared of being that vulnerable with her UGHH

"cause when I'd fight you used to tell me I was brave" -> this is like all those times when lucy went along w lockwood even when he was being reckless cuz HELL if she was going to let him be reckless alone, and they kind of understood each other on that level the way no one else in the series rlly does like its this sacred mutual recognition thats so special to them, but the "you USED to tell me" indicating how their relationship has disintegrated and how that special bond/ANY kind of special bond btw them is rapidly dissolving. also abt how lucy who has been so tough and strong all alone for so long in her life rlly valued lockwood's support/started to need him (was quite bad off without him in her apartment). ofc she's brave and a part of her knows it, but that warmth of having someone stand by your side to catch u if u fall?? irreplacable

"I can go anywhere I want just not home" -> self-explanatory

"you can aim for my heart go for blood but you would still miss me in your bones" -> references how mean he was towards her but underlying all that was his love and need for her still </3 also, connotation of bones = skeleton = death = the empty grave waiting for him??

"and I still talk to you when I'm screaming at the sky"/"and when you cant sleep at night you hear my stolen lullabies" -> lockwood esp is so haunted by lucy after she leaves, 'screaming' referencing lucy's predisposition to get mad rather than sad, lockwood's insomnia like it all just lines up so WELL

"and so the battleships will sink beneath the waves" -> battleships symbolising all the visitors they fought together + maybe even more personal things like helping lockwood process the death of his family, lucy's trauma etc (their shared battles), all of that being left to be eroded by time as if it never existed, as if the thousand tiny moments that made up their relationship never happened

"you turned into your worst fears" -> come off it you know I'd die for you = his number one fear is LOSING LUCY which he does when she leaves. not exactlyyy the same cyz she's still alive but without him there to '''''protect''''' her (he is so that kind of bf) its one step towards this nightmare of his materialising

"tossing out blame, drunk on this pain" -> blaming himself (which is only partially warranted), acting so out of character, becoming even more reckless as he writhes with the pain of losing lucy, becoming more detached from the value of his life etc, almost manic in the haze of his agony

In conclusion, look at how lucy's tears ricochet. thank you for coming to my ted talk

also totally not thinking abt an au where lucy dies after leaving but before she returns because she never stopped loving him even when they were fighting

#the hollow boy spoilers #this lens makes me see the song as sooo devastating rather than angry #like there is an anger to it but its underlined with a grief like i LOVED U man. and now im not there anymore.#no one look at me #i am unwell #lockwood & co #lockwood and co #anthony lockwood #lucy carlyle #locklyle #lockwood and co netflix

27 notes · View notes

fellow-travelers-fic-recs · 4 months

Note

Hi there! Could you recommend a well written fic with a...happier ending? :) Where after a while they make different decisions (especially Hawk) and somehow manage to fix things. Alive. I saw a summary where the author fixes things, but Skippy kind of has the same fate only later and in a different way... and, well... it's ok if it's not all fluff but I would prefer not to cry out my eyes at the end. But if you say it still worth it, I believe you.. :) Thank you!

As you know, happy endings in this fandom (or at least within canon) are hard to come by. But we’ve suffered enough, haven't we? I hope these feel good fics hit the mark and hopefully work towards offsetting the extensive therapy that loving this show undoubtedly requires. Happy reading!

✨ Be sure to show the authors some love and appreciation with kudos and comments on the fics you enjoyed!

#angst with a happy ending ❤️‍🩹 A Joy, Hard Learned by @partialresonance // partialresonance [E, 12K] Tim and Hawk get snowed in together. Later, Tim comes back from the war a changed man.

The dynamics between Tim and Hawk are on another level, which just adds to the heat on this already scorching hot, emotional smut. That said, it’s only one layer of this fic. The building angst with the happy ending that follows, absolutely stellar! Not to mention, the cozy winter atmosphere. What else do you need? Grab yourself a nice cup of cocoa and settle in by the fire with this one!

❤️‍🩹 Anywhere With You by @kayleebye // kayleebye [T, 3K] Hawk shows up at Tim's door with news after breaking-up with him several weeks ago. Tim isn't interested in hearing anything from Hawk, but one sentence changes everything. Will Hawk and Tim finally have a chance at happiness?

This one I haven’t read yet, but it’s got a lot of what you’re looking for… true love, angst and a happy ending fix-it all wrapped up in a snug little 3K word package. Give it a shot!

#fluff ❤️‍🩹 A Package of Sunshine by @bluebellsinburbank // ConsumingLove(Bluebellstar) [T, 1K] Hawk and Tim have a day at the beach.

This should be called A Ray of Sunshine, because that’s exactly what it feels like. It’s so refreshing to have these fluffy moments, a snapshot into a happier time between these two. And delightful banter with Marcus and Frankie in tow… We love to see!

#fix-it, #time travel, #canon divergence ❤️‍🩹 Cheek to Cheek by Iviviendo* [NR, 1K] A special guest arrives unannounced at the Laughlin house on Christmas Day in 1953.

A fluffy little Christmas fix-it, light and cozy. I felt like I was right there at the dinner table, laughing and singing along with the rest of the family. Even Tim’s grandma is pleasant and cheerful, a welcome change from the cranky Grandma Gaffney we see in the book.

❤️‍🩹 Everything, Everything by tinypurpleghost* [E, 4.8K] Hawk wakes up in 1968 and everything is different.

A sprinkle of angst with a heavy dose of heart-warming fluff, along with some wonderfully tender (and super hot) smut. Short and sweet, this time travel fix-it will be the perfect balm to mend your broken heart.

❤️‍🩹 the pawn in every lover's game by hyperfixfic* [G, 8K] Lucy decides to face Hawk after Mr. Laughlin slipped a letter under Hawk’s apartment door instead of ignoring the problems of her marriage. And there are many.

This one is more book-inspired, and Lucy-focused, which is something of a rarity. Love to see it!

❤️‍🩹 Sands of Time (Turn Backwards) by @brouill3r // brouiller [NR, 7K WIP Ch.3/?] 1987 Hawkins Fuller is full of regrets for the life he's lived, though Tim once told him he regrets nothing. Hawk so wishes he could say the same.

In the still night air of a hotel room, clutching a cracked paperweight to his chest like it's carved of the finest gold, Hawk gets his wish.

Or, a time-travel fix-it fic that nobody asked for.

This has me glued to the edge of my seat. The pacing of the first chapter pulls you right in, adding to the tension in with its punctuated rhythm--absolutely perfect for the mindset of Hawk trying to come to grips with what is happening around him.

❤️‍🩹 Again, only better by@madsmeetsmisha // madsmeetsmisha [M, 11K WIP Ch. 4/9] Hawk had no idea what was really going on here. All he knew was that he was back in 1954 and a completely distraught Tim was standing outside his door. And he also knew that he certainly wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

*DING DING DING… Haven’t read this yet, but by the summary and tags, this sounds like it might check all (or most) of your boxes… Tags: fix-it, someone dies from AIDS but not Tim, second changes, all the fluff we need to get over this

❤️‍🩹 Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps It’s Real by drabbleswabbles* [NR, 24K Ch. 9/?] And then it happened. The metallic screech of the gate, the shuffle of men stepping out beyond the prison walls. And suddenly there he was. His hair was shorter than he’d ever seen it. And his glasses were different. But it was him. Their eyes met. Tim stared at him in wide-eyed shock before recognition melted his features into a confused outrage.

Basically a fix-it in which Hawk finds himself back in the early 70s.

I haven’t had the chance to dive into this one, but it’s at the top of my list, along with so many other readers who can’t stop singing its praises. I’m sure you’ll love it just as much as they do.

❤️‍🩹 The Twelfth of Never by ghostandwitness* [M, 973 WIP Ch. 1/?] What if Hawk didn’t prevent Tim from passing the security clearance?

A retelling of Hawk and Tim’s story where their affair is continued through Tim’s employment at State, for those of us who want a different ending (but of course, not without a hard time getting there-After all it's Hawk and Tim).

I feel like this one might be flying under the radar, but it deserves all the fanfare. So far, this one is fantastic, and while it’s still currently a WIP, and can’t guarantee it will be exactly what you’re looking for, I can confidently say it will be enjoyed.

❤️‍🩹 But If You Don’t Dear, Confess by@bluebellsinburbank // ConsumingLove(Bluebellstar) [G, 3K] "Have you ever considered yourself to be in love with another male?"

And that was the question, wasn't it?

Giving gifts, receiving gifts, walking like a gay man - like that could even be quantified; sex and sodomy. Those things were nothing, a mere drop in the ocean compared to that one question.

Had he ever been in love with another man?

For a moment, he almost expected to think of Kenny. That sweet boy who loved beautiful things, who'd followed Hawk into a war none of them had any place being.

But Kenny was the furthest thing from his mind. No, his mind was alive with memories of his Skippy.

Or, Tim Laughlin is a little harder to get out of Hawk's head, and the choice between yes and no isn't as easy to make.

This is part 1 of a series that follows Hawk and Tim as they run away to Italy together, after Hawk fails the polygraph on purpose. Each fic is a standalone, so if you’re uneasy about getting too attached to a WIP, this might be for you!

*Authors: If you have a tumblr (or other socials) you'd like linked, let me know and I'll add it. Also, if anyone doesn't want their socials linked here, please let me know and I'll gladly remove it.

#anon ask #asked and answered #ftficrecs #fellow travelers fic recs #fellow travelers fics #happy endings #feel good fics #fellow travelers #fluff #angst with a happy ending #canon divergent #fix it fic #time travel au #ftficrecs asks #ftfics jan24

22 notes · View notes

that-was-anticlimactic · 4 months

Note

hmmm okay let’s go with either.. “if you die, i’ll kill you” + kunichuuzai OR “you look very biteable today” + whichever bsd pairing you’d like <3

"if you die, i'll kill you," chuuya warns, releasing kunikida's collar with a huff.

"oh, is that a promise?"

dazai leans in with a mischievous smirk, wiggling his eyebrows.

kunikida, still red in the face, smacks dazai across the back of his head. "you are not dying, dazai."

"yeah, cause i'll keep you alive," chuuya smiles, sticking their tongue out.

~~~

"you look very bitable today," lucy informs nathaniel, inching closer to his desk.

nathaniel sighs as if this is the worst thing that could ever happen to him ever. "fitzgerald said you weren't to bite me anymore."

"actually, he said not to bite any of us!" mark pipes up, swinging their legs from their spot on margaret's desk.

"shut up." margaret tries to shove them off, but it's more of a half-hearted attempt to make it seem like she wanted them gone. "we all know the exception to that rule is you."

"mark is always the exception."

"God wouldn't want you to bite my neck," nathaniel tries.

"whatever," lucy grumbles. "i'll just come back later with karl."

everyone resumes their work as she walks away.

"is anyone gonna talk about how lucy wants to bite nathaniel?" john says from the door.

melville just shrugs.

"no? okay."

#grace tag #hi idk what this is lol #sorry the first one is AWFUL #the second one is... prolly not what you were expecting oiuhgyfghjkoijhgv #tehe??? ilyyyyy #bsd #kunichuuzai #the guild #corey rambles:)#corey writes:)

17 notes · View notes

yazthebansheek · 8 days

Text

🧸🎀Sally William’s relationships with Pastas!

this is my au!

🌲📜Slenderman 📜🌲 - She doesn’t really like him.

🔥🔪Jeff the Killer🔪🔥 - Her older brother<3

🌊🎮BEN Drowned🎮🌊 - her other older brother!

🖤🔪Jane The Killer🔪🖤 - One of her mother figures, Mary is her other mom!

🩷🔪Nina The Killer🔪🩷 - the best older sister in the world!!!

👁️🫀Eyeless Jack🫀👁️ - Father figure.

🔥🪓Ticci-Toby🪓🔥 - They don’t really talk to each other that much. But Sally sees him as a friend.

🕘✏️Clockwork✏️🕘 - another one of her mother and sister figures!

⛓️🏥Nurse Ann🏥⛓️ - Only the best nurse in the world!

👁️📖Lulu📖👁️ - One of her friends that she really likes, Sally likes playing with Lulu’s hair because it’s pretty long. And sometimes, Lulu, Sally, and Lazari (and sometimes Nula) will all have sleepovers together

🩸🎨Bloody Painter🎨🩸 - a friend of hers! She likes looking at his artwork and drawing with him.

🧵💔The Puppeteer💔🧵 - One of her best friends and father/brother figure. Puppeteer may seem really cruel, manipulative, narcissistic, greedy, and stubborn, but he still has a heart for the people he truly cares about. Plus Sally reminds him of his younger siblings when he was alive.

🗝️🚪Jason the Toymaker🚪🗝️ - One of her best friends! Jason will make dresses for Sally, and sometimes even toys! He once got hit over the head with a metal pipe by Sally because he didn’t want to play dress up with her! ^w^

🎁🍭Laughing Jack🍭🎁 - Her #1 best freaking friend forever!!! After Sally killed her uncle, she heard a music box, that’s where she met Laughing Jack. He had ended up bringing Sally to the mansion, because he obviously knew that Sally wasn’t a normal kid. After all, she just murdered her r*pist in cold blood whilst using telekinesis. They’ve been best friends ever since. Also LJ likes giving Sally non-poisonous candy when she’s not allowed to have any. (Slenderman sucks!)

🪞🔮Candy Pop🔮🪞 - Another one of her clown best friends! He usually sticks around with the kid pastas (Sally, Lifeless Lucy, Sam, Oliver, Lily, etc) because they lure in free prey (Adults he can steal the souls of). But he is friends with Sally in particular, just because she’s pretty cool. Candy Pop will also give her non-deadly balloons for her OvO

👑👿Zalgo👿👑 - She’s never met Zalgo, and doesn’t understand why Slenderman and Zalgo hate each other so much. She finds it stupid that all of her friends and family members that work under Slenderman have to risk their own lives just because Mr. Sh*tty No face slendy dislikes someone! However, she does like Lazari and her other family members (including Puppeteer, he works for Zalgo in my au)

🎀❤️‍🩹Lazari❤️‍🩹🎀 - One of her friends/Sister figure. they like playing dress up together (and causing mischief together)! Sally doesn’t hate or care about the fact Lazari is a Zalgoid, she still sees her as her friend. They are basically sisters to each other.

🪽🗡️Judge Angels🗡️🪽 - She doesn’t really talk to Dina much, But she finds her pretty. Especially her eyes! Dina on the other hand knows some things about Sally, and will protect her when she can.

🍷🎭Kagekao🎭🍷 - Sally doesn’t know him. Kagekao finds her interesting though, but Sally is quite cautious around him, most likely because she knows he’s friends with Offenderman

🧸🚪Slendrina🚪🧸 - Sally really likes her, and they talk a lot whenever they see each other. It’s like her twin fr! (Sam is outta the pic.) They both have teddy bears, and that’s what brung them together. Now even if Sally doesn’t like Slender, she still likes Slendrina no matter what she is, cause she has always needed that love! (in my au, Slendrina is Slenderman’s daughter)

BONUS!!!:

Laughing Jill - She knows her, but they don’t really talk.

Ally the Slenderdoll - She likes her! But they don’t really talk.

Splendorman - Sally likes Splendor because he’s nice and fun!

Offenderman - She hates him. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate!

Masky - He’s a dick >:(

Hoodie - he’s nicer than Masky, but they’re both still assholes!

Cartoon Cat - One of her best friends, C.C knows Sally isn’t a normal kid, so he just doesn’t attack her.

who should I do next?

11 notes · View notes

vickyvicarious · 8 months

Text

Here I go, unto the breach. 3 October reactions, part 1

Oh shit, right from the very start this is intense

I love how he says he will be extremely precise and then specifies "lying on the floor on his left side"

Renfield :((((

The noise in the background, almost like a horrible wind

van Helsing: "I need to get dressed" *runs off to get his medical AND vampire-hunting supplies*

no one is getting any good sleep still. that's... probably not gonna get better after today

Quincey expressing compassion for Renfield, thank you! I love how he says "poor, poor devil"

"He went at once and sat down on the edge of the bed, with Godalming beside him;" They Are Holding Hands

RENFIELD'S GASPING. GOD.

I wanna cry already. listening to his breathing is so hard

"glad surprise" "a sigh of relief" followed by him asking to be freed from the straight-waistcoat AAAAAAAGH

the way he says "I've had a terrible dream" FUCK

"How good it is of you to be here" he doesn't even like van Helsing, I think he's just happy not to be alone. to have people willing to listen. I WANNA CRY

the quiet little "thank you." and rough gasp. AUUUGH

peace came when he heard the dogs barking

~hand holding of support~

"laughing with his red mouth" I HATE HIM I HATE HIM

the pained laugh on "promising me things"

"just as he used to send in the flies when the sun was shining." this makes me want to look back at the timing of when Renfield got flies and see how they line up

Dracula I love to hear your voice. I want you dead.

'Come in, Lord and Master!' noooooooooo

Dracula immediately reneges on his deal, of course he does

"he went on as though he owned the whole place, and I was no one." the pain of this for Renfield, constantly dismissed as a madman

"I thought that, somehow, Mrs. Harker had come into the room." oh shit

""When Mrs. Harker came in to see me this afternoon she wasn't the same; it was like tea after the teapot had been watered." OH SHIT

the way he says "it made me mad to think that he had been taking the life out of her!!!! honestly how he builds to that by getting faster and faster too

"and I grabbed it tight" the growl in his voice!!!

"ay, and he felt it too" YES YES YES "I didn't mean him to take any more of her life" auuuugh his voice is so so so good

how slow he says "flung me down"

Quincey this is not the time for propriety GET IN THERE

the crash of the door

FUCK HERE IT COMES

I love the music

Jack's voice shaking as he gets to Dracula. THE MUSIC

this is so terrible. agh i hate it agggggh

OH GOD MINA. NO NO NONONONO and her voice breaking even as she sobs and screams fuck

Art seeing her and probably thinking of Lucy as well. godddddd

"His wife was aroused by the quick movement, and turned to him with her arms stretched out, as though to embrace him; instantly, however, she drew them in again, and putting her elbows together, held her hands before her face, and shuddered till the bed beneath her shook." NO DON'T STOP YOURSELF

fuckklkj the way he says "Mina dear, what is it?" and his "my god" his gasping "help her, help her" adkslfjakdjsflk;dj

"you must not leave me!" I CAN'T

the way say sobs "Unclean!" breaks my fucking heart

"May God judge me by my deserts, and punish me with more bitter suffering than even this hour, if by any act or will of mine anything ever come between us!" that's it. I'm crying. fuckkk oh my god

"the hands tenderly and lovingly stroked the ruffled hair" THEY ARE SO

"We want here no more concealments." YEAH, YOU FUCKIN BETTER NOT

"I looked into Renfield's room; but there was no trace there except——!" Again he paused. "Go on," said Harker hoarsely; so he bowed his head and moistening his lips with his tongue, added: "except that the poor fellow is dead."" I can't remember right now who first suggested it but I insist upon believing that Art got there while he was still alive and was with him when he died. I refuse to let Renfield die alone

the music getting so gentle as van Helsing asks Mina to speak

~handholding~ god oh god this is so painful

god her voice so resolute, pushing through to sound calm and tell all details, but repeatedly waviering so badly

"that same white mist that I had before noticed" nearly losing her voice on the last word

her voice stuttering "o-on the windows of St. Mary's Church" oh god I hope that's not the guilt over Lucy again

'Silence! If you make a sound I shall take him and dash his brains out before your very eyes.' he shushes her. he is speaking GENTLY. you can hear the SMILE goddamn him

'First, a little refreshment to reward my exertions. You may as well be quiet; it is not the first time, or the second, that your veins have appeased my thirst!' I AM PUNCHING THE AIR

Jonathan groaning when she says Dracula's lips on her throat.

"a long time must have passed before he took his foul, awful, sneering mouth away" the hatred and disgust in her voice

THE DRIP SOUNDSSSSSS oh god I was not prepared for that

I love the echo/distance on Dracula's voice

oh I love the beat and music during Dracula's speech

the profanation of wedding vows

the savage joy in his voice, the triumph...

she works so hard to keep her voice controlled but she cannot say she drank his blood, she breaks down. oh god ohgod

Jonathan's hair turning white during Mina's story as the sun rises...

#dracula daily #re: dracula #renfield #mina murray #jonathan harker #jonmina #count dracula #van helsing #jack seward #arthur holmwood #quincey morris

20 notes · View notes

sery-chan-13 · 2 months

Text

Hi darlings!! So I’ve been absent, as usual. I’ve decided to take a small break from writing for AIB. I’m very burnt out from it.

However:

I am still writing.

Just for different fandoms/characters.

Right now, I’m mainly focusing on Hunger Games: Ballad of the Songbirds and Snakes because it is my latest hyper fixation ❤️

Of course, I will make one shots as usual, my specialty (tee hee)

But I’ve also started writing a book

Because I hate myself

My favorite character in the book is Treech, from district Seven. He’s such an interesting character to me, and the movie, while it definitely watered down and changed a lot of him, I still love him and his character.

So… uh it’s no surprise that it’s about him 🤗

Here’s the overview and A/N I write before any book/story, and kinda just tell me what y’all think

Years ago, she lived in seven. Years ago she was happy. Of course, no one was *truly* happy during the war, but she wasn't aware. Her father, in helping the Capitol, received a spot up in a shiny new penthouse apartment.

Making her leave the people she loved the most. More like the person she loved the most. 7 years later and she is a mentor for the tributes for this years hunger games. When she sees a familiar face assigned to her, she does almost everything in her power to keep them alive.

"Hey there sunshine... long time no see..."

"Hi there lumberjack... did you get caught up in a tree?"

Specific warnings will be inside, I am obsessed with this book/movie, and he is my favorite. I'm going to try and stay a bit closer to the book than the movie, but some of it will stay the same as the movie for ease

Beginning information:

Y/N will have no specific looks or a name. Please stop marking your books as x reader when it's an OC 😭

There will be swearing, uhh negligence?, weapons, canon typical gore, blood, canon typical violence, and slight sexual undertones to some things but I do not think I'll write smut unless that's something people want? Uh.... Men, men being gross, MEN, uhhh Coryo needs his own warning....That's about it for now

* some things to clear up:

You are going to be from district 7 originally. You're kind of like Sejanus in a sense, and he is your bestie. Your dad grew an empire off of helping the Capitol and was offered a spot there.

* You join the Capitol school in around fifth grade, so it's been about seven years

*you and Treech were best friends

*you're both 18 in this story

*uhhh no more spoilers

Mwuah

If you have come from my AIB books wondering what the fuck are you doing why you no update other books 😕

Uhhh I'm burnt out from those and wanna write a new story with new characters, and also

I get to write like how I sound sometimes!!

Darlin'

Sweetheart

Heart’s pounding' like a jackrabbit

And other cute little phrases 🤭 you're kind of like Lucy Gray in a sense with your "odd" and "peculiar" words and phrases .

Well, I hope y'all enjoy this because I've been dying to write for something <3

PLAYLIST AS USUAL BB HERE YOU GO

Let me know what y’all think Mwuah Mwuah platonic kisses on the cheek and head pats for you all

#×reader #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #treech tbosas #treech x reader #oh look at me shamelessly plugging

11 notes · View notes

sisterofficerlucychen · 3 months

Text

now that i saw you (i can never look away) - chapter 3 preview

“How did you find me?” It seems like the safest question to ask but the hesitation to answer suddenly proves otherwise causing her to hold her breath in anticipation of whatever he’s going to say. His lips part to speak but whatever answer he had just landed on dissipates at the tip of his tongue before becoming actual words. Worry creases between her brows as she watches how it’s a cycle he repeats twice before he’s able to settle on something that she was right to fear. It lands like a punch to the gut and she feels guilty for a whole new set of reasons. “I got scared.” It’s vulnerable, raw, and so real. Scared. It’s not out of worry that he needed to find her but rather fear. He doesn’t have to add much else to it for Lucy to understand why. Time might heal all wounds but certain ones leave scars, ones you can see and ones you can’t, Tim taught her that. Lucy may have been the one trapped in the barrel and buried alive but Tim lived his own type of hell as they worked against the clock to find her in time. Tim was the one who dug her out with his bare hands not knowing what they’d find once they got to her; he pulled her limp body out of the barrel and desperately worked to bring her back to life; and while he’s never said it, Lucy knows he was terrified to leave her side, that it was why he stayed with her until she was released from Shaw Memorial. The nightmare she lived was one that cut at him deep, he walked away from it with his own set of scars. “Tim,” she whispers, almost breathless and barely audible. Her heart breaks a little knowing that not only had she just left him standing completely puzzled in the middle of the dance floor but she unintentionally made him fear for her safety when she became unresponsive as they all tried to reach her. “I’m sorry,” she starts, “I didn’t mean to—I just—I didn’t realize I still had my phone on silent.” At least there’s one truth she’s able to confess and she knows he’s picked up on her guilt from it as it’s enough for him to join her at the bench right beside her. Her gaze drops to her lap unable to keep looking at him, she’s overwhelmed with so many emotions, and it continues to leave her without the right words. Silence envelops them as Lucy picks on imaginary lint at her lap trying to not to focus on how Tim’s stare bores into her. She doesn’t need to look up to clock the worry that’s deeply carved into his features, or at least that’s what she thinks she’d find it if she were to turn back to him. When his reaction differs from the one she made up in her head she has to look up, turning to him in slight confusion at how unexpected the pivot is. “There’s no quit in you, Chen,” he offers with a warm smile. The familiar sentence takes her back to a moment that means more to her than she's ever let herself admit to. The words he said that day empowered her as they gave her back the control she felt she lost, the needed reminder that she wasn’t a victim but a survivor, and how he revealed that he was the one to actually find her as he tossed back the moonstone ring. One she wears with pride, a symbol of her strength and resilience, a piece of jewelry that’s become her most prized possession because of what Tim said that day in the training room.

#the rookie #chenford #chenford fic #fic preview

8 notes · View notes

zukkaart · 6 months

Text

10 characters | 10 fandoms | 10 tags

Thank you @fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma for the tag ily 😭 and I love talking about my faves so here we go 🤸 *long-ish post*

——-

1. Sokka: A:tLA: Okayyyy so as someone who is Inuk she whole S/NWT meant so much to me as a kid and still means so much to me now but Sokka just hits on a different level because he’s the oldest sibling (as am I) and therefore charged with everyone else’s safety in one way or another. He also is the one who deals the killing blows bc the others can’t or won’t stomach it which I relate to hevily

2. Bolin: LoK: He reminds me of my husband what else can I say? They think he’s a pretty, strong, stupid, earthbender/ which to an extent- he is. But he’s just smart in different ways than others and genuinely has a heart of gold and just wants to give everyone endless love

3. River Song: Doctor who: we have the same hair so immediately yes. She also has one of the best and most heartbreaking arcs in cinema history and I will fight about it. She destroyed the universe to save her husband then said “I don’t do weddings” and honestly…I get it bc same

4. Castiel: Supernatural: MY SON DESERVED BETTER. He lost his home, his family, his faith, everything he had known for THOUSANDS of years because he fell in love with humanity Dean. He constantly tried his best and yes messed up but was always treated so harshly as if he didn’t have to LEARN how to have human morals and the only people he had to base off of was the boys who are in no way a good bar to measure that by

5. Amber: House of Anubis: oooh pretty ditzy blonde girl comic relief character- but she becomes one of the most fully fleshed out deep characters and ends up being the reason they solve most of the riddles and find the artifacts. She loves her shopping and texting but when the heat is up she always rises to the challenge and shows out. Queen of my heart

6. Flame Princess: Adventure Time: raised to be evil but falls in love and has to learn how not to harm people even though it 100% goes against her nature. And even after all that she is still treated like a villain by everyone but Finn basically. I have ASPD and I constantly feel like I also have to be something I’m not in order to not harm the people around me and the ones who let me be me are few and far between. She is me I am her

7. Sherlock: See above lol, he has ASPD (sociopathy) and so do I. Plus I’m studying to be a CSI. Seeing a character with my same illness shown in the real raw form and not like the “yeah they’re a sociopath but their character arc is learning how to be a good person!” Ew. They let him be cruel and clever and just authentically HIM. Of course he’s checked when necessary but ultimately no one ever tells him he needs to be fixed because of it bc they understand that part of him can’t be changed

8. House: kind if similar as above. I don’t super love the drugs but he takes no shit and dicks around because he knows he’s the best there is. Endless pranks, self destructive tendencies, smartest person you’ll ever meet, what more could you ask for? It’s also super awesome to watch a character/show that isn’t so focused on being “politically correct” that it forgets how to make good jokes.

9. Sejanus: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (book): People say Katniss is Lucy’s revenge but NO she’s Sejanus’ revenge, and so is Peeta. Sejanus was the one who hated the games, tried to actually help the tributes and districts and stop the games. He wanted revolution way back when Snow was a teenager and didn’t even live to see it. The only difference between him and Everlark is the fact that they had a whole rebellion ready to back them. He should have been alive to take the place of Coin/Snow and I stand by that.

10. J.B. Merlin: Bundle of Joy: this is so crazy niche if anyone knows it DM me immediately I’m begging you. An absolute icon this entire movie. The center of a comedy miscommunication trope. Has no idea what’s going on but refuses to let his son walk out on his baby (that’s not actually his but he thinks it is), immediately assumes the baby was named after him, then delivers the iconic line “I don’t care who the father is! I’M the grandfather” homie wanted a grandkid and didn’t care what he had to do to get one 😂 10/10 wholesome character

~~~~~~

Now for tags. Sorry if you’ve been tagged already! And if you haven’t please participate if you so wish

@avatar-lorra @judebellinghamswifereal @momos-servants @chitsangenthusiast @dancergirl131 @zukosasukelovebot (I think you’ve been tagged already but ily 🤟) @picnicbitchsokka @your-royal-momoness @oldpotatoe @bisexuallsokka

18 notes · View notes

droughtofapathy · 5 months

Note

top ten sondheim songs in your opinion (can be in any order)

Anon, I hope you know that asking me this is the equivalent of asking a mother to pick her favorite kid. Yeah, sure okay, she has a favorite, but making her admit it is like pulling teeth. So. I've compiled two lists for you: one of my personal top ten, and one of the objective top ten I think should/could be considered the best. I'm also going to be indicating my preferred renditions of these songs, because that plays a major factor into things. Also, because I'm incapable of being concise, you're also getting a brief explanation on at least my top ten, so...enjoy. Or, my condolences, I guess. You had no idea the can of worms you were opening.

My Personal Top Ten: (in no particular order, and only at this specific point in my life right now this second)

1. The Ladies in Red segment of the Sondheim 80th Birthday Celebration concert (2010): "The Ladies Who Lunch," (Company) - Patti LuPone* "Losing My Mind," (Follies) - Marin Mazzie* "The Glamorous Life," (A Little Night Music) - Audra McDonald "Could I Leave You?" (Follies) - Donna Murphy* "Not a Day Goes By," (Merrily We Roll Along) - Bernadette Peters "I'm Still Here," (Follies) - Elaine Stritch* Right off the bat, I'm cheating. Four (*) of my top ten are just from this segment of the concert so I'm squeezing them all into one so I can include more songs. Quick rundown of why: self-explanatory, c'mon. Donna's "Could I Leave You?" is my number one Sondheim, hand's down.

2. "The Girls of Summer," (The Girls of Summer) - Gabrielle Stravelli Sondheim Unplugged is a monthly cabaret series at 54 Below, and I go to every show. It's really opened my eyes to some of these hidden gems. It's just a fun little number.

3. "What More Do I Need?" (Saturday Night) - Kelli O'Hara (90th Birthday Concert) The song that finally made me decide that I was in love with Kelli O'Hara and sopranos were actually breathtaking people who deserved my adoration. (Still an alto lover at heart though)

4. "We're Gonna Be All Right," (Do I Hear a Waltz?) - Marin Mazzie & Jason Danieley Naughtiest couple on Broadway sing a naughty duet. Truly, what more could I ask for? I love a bitingly antagonistic song.

5. "There's Always A Woman," (Anyone Can Whistle) - Jan Maxwell & Victoria Clark And speaking of bitingly antagonistic. This is a song where two Divas get to be catty bitches to an absurd degree, and I cannot get enough of it. I also deeply love and miss Jan Maxwell. And where else are you going to get Jan Maxwell calling Vicki Clark a whore? Incredible.

6. "The Madame Song," (The Seven Per-Cent Solution) - Bebe Neuwirth Clever wordplay, sexy brothel madame, wink-wink nudge-nudge raunchy. Sung by my beloved Bebe Neuwirth. Obviously a winner.

7. "The Story of Lucy and Jessie," (Follies) - Jan Maxwell Follies is my favorite Sondheim show, and Phyllis Rogers Stone is my favorite Sondheim character. And while Donna Murphy is my favorite Phyllis, I go to Jan Maxwell for this song. She was just so sublime. The song itself is clever, cutting, and choreographed wonderfully every time.

8. "Take Me to the World," (Evening Primrose) - Soara-Joye Ross The actual movie this is from is so fucking weird, and if it were Charmaine Carr's version, I wouldn't look twice at it. But I had the pleasure of hearing Soara-Joye Ross sing this song at the first Sondheim Unplugged show two days after his death. And it was just...wow.

9. "The Miller's Son," (A Little Night Music) - Elizabeth Stanley It has everything I love in a Sondheim. Clever lyrics, brutal pacing, and the danger of tripping up even the best cabaret performer. When you're cocky, that's when Sondheim gets you. Elizabeth Stanley has only ever been attractive to me in this specific video.

10. Being Alive," (Company) - hear me out. Hear me out. Marquee Five (ft. Sierra Rein) Okay, okay, I know, obscure choice here. However. Up until I heard this rendition, I did not really care about this song. Any male version went in one ear and out the other. If you couldn't tell by my list, I am almost exclusively dedicated to older broads. And yes, Patti has a fantastic rendition, and so do lots of other women. But this one with its harmonies and its alto lead singer does it for me like no one else.

Objective Top Ten Sondheim Songs: (order arbitrary, rendition my preference)

1. "A Weekend in the Country," (A Little Night Music) - the Rebecca Luker one 2. "Getting Married Today," (Company) - Madeline Kahn (alt. Katie Finneran) 3. "Could I Leave You?" (Follies) - Donna Murphy 4. "Being Alive," (Company) - Marquee Five 5. "Losing My Mind," (Follies) - Marin Mazzie 6. "Someone in a Tree," (Pacific Overtures) - 90th Birthday Concert 7. "A Little Priest," (Sweeney Todd) - 80th Birthday Concert, but most renditions are fantastic. 8. "Finishing the Hat," (Sunday in the Park with George) - Mandy Patinkin 9. "Sunday," (Sunday in the Park with George) - Marquee Five, but any version is transcendent. 10. "Loving You," (Passion) - Donna Murphy If you're somehow not sick of me yet, ask me to give a no-commentary top 100, ranked in order, then we'll really have fun.

#sondheim #musical theatre #look i made a hat

6 notes · View notes

whumpshaped · 7 months

Note

Any night works for me! In fact, i already have something ravishing for you

So my friend works at a clinic, directly under a guy who is a pretty big deal where i live. Some sort of doctor/professor/rector/whatever powerful rich guy with about seventeen PhDs and more money than he knows what to do with. Because hes so important, he has quite the arrogant streak. He also often throws temper tantrums any time something doesn't go his way, screaming and yelling at people, firing them, making them cry — just an all around horrible person to be around, clearly.

Now this guy has a wife, of course. Except they aren't very close anymore, understandably. It's kind of a non-secret that their relationship is more of the business variety. What's another interesting non-secret though, is that the guy has a lover. I personally don't know much about her, I'd have to ask around. But here's the kicker:

It's such a well-known relationship that one time, during one of his more violent tantrums my friend was the one tasked with calling up the guy's lover to calm him down. And who gave them the order?

The Wife.

And i think that's fucking beautiful. Don't you?

(loosely inspired by irl gossip i overheard a couple days ago which may have inspired me to ask Helle about gossiping :3 i thought it was pretty fucking funny)

Helle listens intently, with a huge grin on their face. "Is this what the youth call tea? That is amazing. Similar drama happens a lot in vampire circles– have you ever seen husband and wife communicate via sending thralls like homing pigeons? Quite the fun experience!"

"I do feel sorry for your friend, though, truly. What a horrible predicament. I would switch places with them any time, if they asked. I would have so much fun at a clinic like that, even apart from trying my hand at medicine." They're 100% thinking about all the people they could seduce in a situation like that. The unhappy wife, the angry lover– hell, the stuck-up doctor who would clearly benefit from a bit of humbling. Possibly all three.

"Nothing interesting has happened in the past weeks, here... Well, aside from Lady Lucy scaring off another potential suitor. You know, hot vampire neighbour no. 7.? She calls me about these things all the time, and it can be awfully amusing. She had left a letter for the poor man, and from the way she described it, it sounded more like a threat. She did not sign it, she gave no indication of who the sender was. She turned up to his house a month later, crying and demanding a reply."

"Can you imagine? Obviously, the man felt like his life was in danger, and attempted to stake her. I suppose both of them ended up with a hole in their heart by the end of it... one a little more... literal, than the other." They snicker. "She just cannot help herself! She keeps killing all her potential lovers! This has been going on for decades, I have no idea how I am still alive. I comforted her, though, worry not. I told her I am absolutely certain she will find the right person in due time. It feels silly to say after 150 years, but here we are."

#asks #sophiness #helle #asks for helle #at my beck and call

12 notes · View notes

heavensbeehall · 4 months

Text

"Catching Fire", Chapter 12

Part 2: The Quell

Chapter 12: (I accidentally scheduled 11 and 10 out of order yesterday so I went ahead and put them both up) The Preps appear to get Katniss ready for her wedding dress photo shoot. By asking about shortages in the Capitol, Katniss figures out that there have been Uprisings in 3, 4 and 8. Later she talks to Haymitch about Uprisings and such. Prim is excited to see Katniss's dresses on a mandatory viewing but something else is going on. It's the "reading of the card". Katniss and Prim, who have not been alive for a Quarter Quell, don't know what that means. It turns out Snow has been planning an All-Stars Season of the Hunger Games.

Thoughts:

-- Venia is clearly the leader of the Preps.

-- It's interesting how little importance Katniss and Peeta seem to be to Katniss and Peeta's wedding in the Capitol. They don't get a say in what they wear. The Capitol does. Cinna and Caesar Flickerman talk about it. I can't imagine letting the internet pick my wedding dress. (I am not married and don't plan to be and still I don't think this is a good idea.)

Quotes:

My mind starts buzzing. No seafood. For weeks. From District 4. The barely concealed rage in the crowd during the Victory Tour. And suddenly I am absolutely sure that District 4 has revolted.

I'm very interested in District 4. Mostly because I heart Mags. But also, I think it must be harder to keep them from communicating with other Districts, since they have boats. TBOSAS mentioned Pup Harrington's dad patrolling District 4. I assume that's to keep them in, like the fence in 12 does. But the existence of a patrol means people have gotten out.

Also I like swimming.

Prim, who came home from school in time to see the last two dresses, chatters on about them with my mother

Oh last chapter she asked Katniss to wait to try them on. I'm sad now that she only got to see two of the six.

He didn't get too excited over my District 13 story.

Did Haymitch already know about 13?

President Snow begins to speak, to remind us all of the Dark Days from which the Hunger Games were born. When the laws for the Games were laid out, they dictated that every twenty-five years the anniversary would be marked by a Quarter Quell. It would call for a glorified version of the Games to make fresh the memory of those killed by the districts' rebellion.

[...]

On the twenty-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that their children were dying because of their choice to initiate violence, every district was made to hold an election and vote on the the tributes who would represent it.

I would like to know why this Quell system was implemented. We know Dean Highbottom didn't want the Games to continue at all. He definitely didn't write "centuries" of cards. The voting thing makes me think there was some political motivation, like how Plutarch Heavensbee wants a democracy instituted.

I wonder if Snow made himself look like a "genius" as a Gamemaker and then became President. And some people were like, "I didn't vote for this guy." So Snow was like, "fine, let the plebs vote."

"I had a friend who went that year," says my mother, quietly. "Maysilee Donner. Her parents owned the sweetshop. They gave me her songbird after. A canary.

Prim and I exchange a look. It's the first we've ever heard of Maysilee Donner. Maybe because my mother knew we would want to know how she died.

Lucy Gray is a songbird. Maysilee Donner has a songbird. Katniss is the mockingjay. How many female tributes from 12 are linked to birds?

2 notes · View notes

captainrogers-thepatriot · 7 months

Text

NAME ⎯⎯ Steven "Steve" Grant Rogers

AKA ⎯⎯ Captain America, Captain Rogers, Agent Rogers, Steve, Grant

one photo of your muse you like ⎯⎯

three headcanons ⎯⎯ 1. When Steve went back in time, he couldnt allow many people to know he was alive. It was important that he didnt change the sequence of events to come. So he would often go out in public in disguise and took on a new identity of Grant Rogers. Besides Peggy, Howard Stark, Maria Stark and Edmund Jarvis also knew he was alive. 2. In the modern era, when the elder Peggy was in the hospital she would often refer to Steve as her husband and go on about the life they shared. Steve had always thought she was just confused. Until he went back in time. Then him and Peggy started creating those memories she spoke about. Steve was always meant to go back to be with her. 3. Steve has three kids with Peggy: Sarah, Amelia and James.

Five things your muse likes doing in their free time ⎯⎯

Exercising. He loves to go running and to box. It really helps him clear his head.

listening to music. Mostly music from 1920s-1960s.

Volunteering to help those less fortunate. He often helps out at soup kitchens and shelters. He will also help neighbors with chores like shopping or fixing up a garden. He loves helping anyway he can.

Visiting the elderly Peggy.

Watching TV. He loves sitcoms! His favorites are I Love Lucy, The Odd Couple, Bewitched and Friends. He also enjoys watching Star Trek and Doctor Who.

a phobia your muse has ⎯⎯ Never ending war and not living a life that made him happy. He often spends so much time trying to help others that he often forgets or ignores his own wants and needs. That was the case mostly when he lived in the modern era and was working for shield. When he went back to live his life alongside Peggy, he tried to shift his focus on his family and himself. Although he still dedicated some time helping others.

one thing your muse regrets ⎯⎯ Not being able to defeat Thanos during the first battle with him.

people your character likes / loves ⎯⎯

Peggy Carter

Bucky Barnes

His kids (My OCs lol)

@nessiesbarnes

Sarah Rogers

The Barnes family

The Avengers

Sam Wilson

....Too many more people. Steve has a lot of love in his heart.

tagged by: @marvelslegacies

tagging: @nessiesbarnes @jemmaagentofshield @askjbuckybarnes

#headcanon #steve rogers #captain america

3 notes · View notes

mistwraiths · 1 year

Text

3 stars

The Last Hours has to be the most dramatic, messiest, frustrating trilogy CC has written so far. It's funny to me particularly since I didn't like TID much nor do I like Will Herondale or Tessa, but I don't remember being particularly so frustrated. Chain of Thorns is a better book than Chain of Iron in my opinion, it doesn't feel as long and boring as COI did. But there is still FAR too much unnecessary drama and miscommunication to this series.

For me there was only three characters I loved very dearly and were rooting for the entire time. Grace Blackthorn, Alistair Carstairs, and Christopher Lightwood. I loved Grace from the beginning and I will defend her with my dying breath, I loved every part she had in this book. Alistair has come a long way and I loved his character arc. And then, tragedy struck.

I KNEW someone was going to die. There's always a death of the main group, I knew it was coming. My money was on Matthew. It honestly made sense to me that he, being one of the unconnected to another character except for James, along with him suffering through withdrawals and going to Edom where he was not expected to go. It would have been a bit poetic since James' father Will had experienced something similar. But instead, CC kills off Christopher Lightwood.

I was shocked and furious, and I could have possibly accepted it better if it felt like any of the characters grieved or felt something for more than a page or two and then a half-hearted mention later. You're telling me that someone they've known their ENTIRE LIVES, someone who was so kind and genius, that you can't spare more than a mention here or there or GIVE GRIEF FOR HIM ON ACTUAL PAGES?? Instead, I have to read a whole intermission chapter on someone grieving TWO CHARACTERS WHO ARE ALIVE AND MADE A CHOICE (one they didn't have much choice but still) TO GO TO EDOM??? It felt like a slap to the face, an insult to the character. Grace and Christopher deserved to be a science nerds together. Of course the magic sword conveniently couldn't help heal and Lucie's powers to talk and raise the dead conveniently only worked on specific circumstances.

Okay, now that that's out of the way, let's discuss other things. The whole Belial plot felt super weak to me. He wants to possess James to walk on earth and become King of England?? Sir aren't you a fallen angel?? A Prince of Hell? Shouldn't your goal be more I WILL KILL SHADOWHUNTERS AND BURN THE EARTH or something?? Belial was also just all talk. He hardly ever really felt like a THREAT. Like oh shit this guy is going to SLAUGHTER people. I did like the part of him burning through the hosts because that felt horrific and violent and proper Prince of Hell stuff. Also the whole traveling to Edom's capital was very boring.

The whole Cortana sword having some paladin bond to heal the wounds it creates felt so ridiculously contrived and stupid to me. I can get behind a healing sword. I can get behind the sword only healing its paladin. But only healing the wounds it creates is so silly and only felt necessary to have this plot finished with the HEA intact. I knew James wouldn't die since we learned that he's alive to see Will pass away from old age. But honestly??? I think it would have been a very good ending if he had died. It would have had an impact.

Cordelia was overall a very average heroine for me, I don't think she's particularly my favorite mostly because of the drama and lies and miscommunication and pride/fear of being pitied. For the life of me, I don't understand why Lucie and her became parabatai. What deep friendship do they have because we certainly see no evidence of it. I did like James and Cordelia a little better when all that nonsense was finished, but again they don't have chemistry to me and their bond seems only physical to me.

I think I was a bit irritated that I'm being told after the bracelet is broken and done having been a plot device for two books, that it has had all these effects that we don't particularly get to see. Most everyone didn't understand James being in love with Grace but like... Grace was also secluded from everyone and they knew he spent summers with her. That to me personally isn't enough evidence to say "the bracelet kept you from considering it". Like I would have liked to see some examples of them thinking about it and becoming fuzzy or distracted or something. Also, we don't really get a chance to see James BEFORE the bracelet so telling me it utterly changed how he was/acted gives me nothing if I never knew him in the first place??

My heart goes out to Matthew it does but again, it very much felt like he didn't have much of an importance to the whole story. Which again, begs the question why wasn't he killed. It just blows my mind that Belial just allowed him to stay.

I actually really loved Jesse in the first two books but not only was he kind of boring and pushed to the side in this one, his attitude towards Grace really pissed me off. Jesse more than anyone should know how awful his mother could be and Grace was a CHILD and had to live with her. When she tells him everything, he reacts so poorly. Like, of course he can be upset, but GRACE IS YOUR SISTER AND A VICTIM. Like??? It made me so angry. Even Cordelia had better grace than her own brother.

I'm happy that Grace, Alistair, Thomas, Anna, and Ari get to be happy. Justice for Malcolm Fade in this book. I understand the whole interrogation thing with Tessa and Will and the others keeping such huge secrets. We know the truth that they are well-meaning but no one else does. There is a huge favoritism and lying doesn't give anyone a reason to trust. Would it have caused tension to be truthful? Yes. But it would have allowed trust and good faith. But of course obviously it all happened very conveniently to get everyone authoritative and Jem out of London and The Silent City so no one could stop the kids.

Overall, this book at least felt like everything was moving forward at a better pace and it was an okay ending.

#chain of thorns #cassandra clare #steph's book review #book review #steph reads #2023 reads

8 notes · View notes