#maybe they all get an evil step mother or smth | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ghostnebula · 4 years

Note

I wanna hear about Murder Husbands Reddie 👀

More like Murder Boyfriends since they’re still teens when this happens but. Yes!

We discussed this a little bit in the writer’s revolution discord bc Milo & I are apparently brain twins or smth. But here’s the deal. In the years following the events of Ch1 (assuming we ignore book canon and most, if not all, of the Losers remain in Derry until the end of their high school career) everyone is a little bit... off. They’ve all experienced something traumatic, and they’re all coping differently, and for some of them -- for Richie in particular -- this means there’s something different. Something a little darker, a little less forgiving, a little more influenced by the evil that’s lurking under their hometown.

And, in those years, Sonia Kaspbrak is on a similar track, becoming more controlling, more possessive, more vicious towards her son. She leaps from lying and manipulating, to actively hurting. She leaves bruises on him, then scratches, then eventually cuts and burns and all manner of little injuries that alone can be explained away but all together like that are clearly intentional. She tries forcing him to take his medicine again -- no longer just placebos -- and when he refuses, she starts slipping things into his food and drink.

And Eddie’s going downhill, too. Outside of his mother’s obvious abuse, she’s still manipulating him, still trying to control every aspect of his life, threatening to hurt him if she catches him with his friends, and when that doesn’t work, threatening to hurt them. She calls him all manner of derogatory things and tries to medicate his “problem” away, or alternatively, beat it out of him (and on a few occasions, starve it out of him). Between that and the clown-related trauma, he’s constantly on the verge of snapping. The darker thoughts he has scare him, about getting revenge on the people who have hurt him, or are hurting him. About how good it felt to stand up for himself back in ‘89. Against It, yes, but also against his mother. How he’d itching to take it a step further and claim his autonomy once and for all.

Richie is stuck watching from the sidelines, having explored every avenue as far as methods of getting Eddie the fuck out of that house goes. All the Losers are stuck watching this unfold, sneaking Eddie out at night to keep him safe at their houses, begging their parents to help them help him, trying to make the cops in Derry see the problem when, as with everything, it seems almost invisible to them. They’re going to run away, they keep saying. All of them. The seven of them. They’re going to scrape together enough money working shitty shifts at The Aladdin and bagging groceries at the A&P and spending afternoons as library assistants, shelving books and searching up terms and helping kids with book reports for pennies. And then they’re going to load all their shit into Mike’s truck and Ben’s station wagon and get the fuck out.

They’re never going to look back, they keep telling themselves, even though the scars on their hands say otherwise.

But Richie is struggling most of all with Eddie’s lot in life. Sometimes when Henry Bowers used to drive his fist against Eddie’s face, or push him into the mud, and call him some of the same things Sonia calls him now, he’d get this urge to push back, push harder, make Bowers wish he’d never fucking thought about hurting Eddie. He feels that way about all his friends, of course.

It’s just different with Eddie. And Richie had wanted so bad to make Bowers afraid to hurt them. Afraid to hurt Eddie. He can’t stand to see Eddie hurt. It makes something razor-toothed and monstrous rear up inside him. Makes him want to bite down and not let go. He’s having trouble separating how he feels now, after that summer, from how it felt back then, but he’s not sure the urge was quite so hard to resist before It.

Because now, watching Eddie come to school with bruises ringed around his eyes and lacerations disappearing under the sleeves of his sweater, he thinks maybe he’s burning. Thinks maybe he might burn right down to ashes if he doesn’t get this out of his system (if he doesn’t sink his teeth in and make himself clear: no one lays a fucking hand on Eddie Kaspbrak, and if they have the fucking gall to think they can, they’ll be answering to him).

So he tells Eddie he wants to help him. Tells him he knows just what to do. Just how to help, but does Eddie trust him? (”Of course I do,” Eddie says, soft, but intense in a way that always makes Richie wonder if this feeling might be mutual. “You know I do,” he adds, almost reverent, and Richie thinks about kissing him and about biting down on his lip until it bleeds and how the only person who should ever be allowed to come close to hurting Eddie should be him, because he knows how to take care of him after).

The plan goes like this: turn Sonia’s own game around on her. Eddie slips something into her drink one night (probably crushed-up sleeping pills, the very same she often gives him), and once she’s out cold on the La-Z-Boy Eddie lets Richie in, and they work together to get her tied down to the chair. Richie insists they wait until she’s awake, so she can feel Eddie getting his revenge and she can know who it was that killed her. So he can look her in the eye and tell her this is what she fucking gets for being a cunt bitch to the most perfect boy in the world, and that he’ll see her in hell, and he can say it with a smile on his face.

I won’t go into any particular detail on what happens once she’s awake, but I’ll say it includes Richie coaching Eddie through the process of stabbing her in the chest. Also since they’re likely about 18 in this fic 90% chance they have sex once she’s dead and they’re running on adrenaline highs. There will be bloodplay involved because DUH.

And they’ll probably burn the house down after. Get rid of the evidence (not that the Derry police were going to do a fantastic job with that investigation anyway lol). Eddie will move in with Richie’s family until they start college in the fall because fuck his aunts and anyone else related to his bitch mother. Will they kill more people after this, now that they’ve succumbed to that rage within? We’ll see, I guess.

#Anonymous #reddie #inappropriate #minors dni #tw murder #tw abuse #this relationship dynamic is toxic yes #you dont have to tell me that #its a fictional story about murder and abusive parents and matricide and whatever #dont come after my ass just because you cant handle the fact that you think its sexy or something #your weird problems are for you #i dont want them #ask #writing #cetb

40 notes · View notes

awaylaughing · 4 years

Note

Pippa and Hamin for the ship meme!

let’s GOOOOO. Under a read more because I can talk about Ideas For Fucking Ever. The meme in question and if you read this and think “golly gee, I’d love to give you an opprotunity to chat more about othere people” I have a shiny new character page you could reference here.

who’s the werewolf and who’s the hunter

This one I had to think about. Hamin probably makes a better werewolf, but Pippa makes a UNIQUELY terrible hunter so, pivoting ever so slightly maybe she’s more like a behind the scenes information broker type (Pippa, Collector and Keeper of Secrets is incredibly canon after all). She’d obviously have to start off allied with the hunters, to keep the tension with Hamin real and true. Hamin’s pack doesn’t have the WORST reputation possible, but they’re definitely not above suspicion. They retain their passion for ocean voyages, which strikes other people as odd because prejudice.

That said, you know who ALSO makes a great werewolf? Pippa’s mother and “aunt”, Roshan and Jessamine, so Pippa as part of a bamf all lady’s wolf pack who get tangled up with hunter shenanigans is also an excellent plot. Not least because Pippa would be a very pretty wolf, I dare say (maybe they’d actually be were-jackels, a la the Golden Jackel? A Consideration, given where I HC a modern AU Pippa would be from).

In this case I’d say the lady’s pack almost never maul people, except maybe domestic abusers and rapists, but who can blame them? So another pack moves in (it’s prob Jarrude’s lbr) and causes problems and Very Serious Hunter Hamin (ha) has to wade through the complicated world of lycanthrope politics to find The Truth. And of course falls in love with the nicest werewolf this side of whatever major geographical feature of your choice.

who’s the mermaid and who’s the fisherman

Mermaid Pippa and “fisherman” Hamin, natch. Pippa’s not very ruthless canonically, but I can apply liberal use of Alternate Cultural POVs On Ethics and say Pippa only leaves her goaded people on rocks, she never drowns them! That’s very nice of her! And sometimes she pulls an Ariel and helps a bro out, which is probably related to how her and Hamin meet. Some options:

1. Pippa had previously saved Hamin’s life, so in turn, something happens and she gets caught, and he saves her life as repayment. Similar to Bog Standard Plot Below, she’s obviously too injured to return to sea so they’re forced to cohabitate. High jinks and romance ensue.

2. Bog standard mermaid washed ashore plot. Bathtub high jinks ensue. There’s a scene where someone catches Hamin carrying a bucket of raw fish into his house and he has to explain it away. Leala catches on in the first 20 mins. At some point, they’re forced to bring Pippa to dinner with Hamin’s dad and there is much nerves, only for Pippa to reveal she’s stranded many a gentlemen adventurer in her time and she picked up some epic etiquette knowledge along the way.

3. Hamin gets stranded somewhere and Pippa’s the only person around who can come visit. It starts with her bringing him fish. Requisite Second Act Breakup is when Pippa, conscience having formed in the last hour of run time, reveals a way off his small deserted island. Obviously, he sails off in a huff and they meet up again in the next 35 minutes, have the big damn kiss and idk how you turn this one into a true happy ending and not a sort of esoteric one but Hollywood and or an Indie Darling Director will manage.

who’s the witch and who’s the familiar

Witch Pippa, hands down the answer. She gets it from her grandmother (er, step-grandmother?). Does Hamin have an animal form? If so, does it align to Pippa Aesthetic and is he a snakey boi or, does he get to pick? What would Hamin pick? Seagull - the goose of the sea?

Other option is he’s always human and either case I’m betting Hamin’s not a traditional familiar. Rather, he needed to get out Faerie/Familiarland STAT and filched Pippa’s contract off a Traditional And Proper Familiar and got himself a ticket to human land away from whoever he pissed off.

High jinks ensue.

who’s the barista and who’s the coffee addict

I had to think about this one because I mean let’s be very real here - neither Pippa, Quintessential Nice But Still Privileged Rich Girl or Hamin “cause problems for the staff on purpose” are shoe ins for having worked for customer service. That said, Hamin’s more likely to piss off his dad and be forced to get a job and like, have a real person job in general. So, Hamin’s barista job is his in-world Summit equivelent and he planned to quit the moment he paid off whatever damages he’s definitely paying off.

Except, Pippa comes in and orders only moderately complicated coffee orders and this isn’t a place that does the name thing so Hamin knows Nothing except she’s friendly and pretty and omg this one is perfect to throw in the OT3 because clearly the only reason he doesn’t just immediately ask Pippa for her name and number and also the next 20 years of her life pls and thanks is her hot boyfriend.

(But it’s okay, Pippa has two hands and so does Zarad u_u)

Otherwise she’d have to be someone who just comes to drive through bc idk why he’d hold off on asking since this is HAMIN we’re talking about.

who’s the professor and who’s the TA

...either of these two in academia is an interesting prospect. Maybe he’s a kid who got into archeology because of Indiana Jones and, while there’s far fewer chase scenes and death traps, Hamin ended up with a PhD and a job and look, he’s as confused as you are about how this all happened. It’s alright though because the job does come with cute anthropology TAs who work in an allied and often cross referential field. Pippa’s less immediately enamoured with Hamin but warms up because he’s the only person who actually listens to her and doesn’t treat her like she’s a child just because she’s a short woman.

This one could be set in exciting locales for a bit of Indie Flavour but with more consent and less horrifying age gaps, and no breaking of international laws and if anyone gets squished by rocks it’s a horrifying rock slide scenario.

Alternatively, polisci professor Pippa is working alongside the marine biology department to work on smth enviro-politics and ocean protection. TA Hamin is Very Enthusiastic about helping her out. This one features a scene where people naturally assume Hamin’s the professor and he trolls the ever living shit out of them.

This one is set in conferences which is 10000% less sexy but also way more familiar.

Depends on the vibes u want. Either way, Lyon is there somewhere and he and Pippa are unlikely friends purely because 4′10″ Pippa and like, 6′5″ or whatever Lyon being friends is never not hilarious. He definitely disapproves of Hamin just in general but especially in a library setting.

who’s the knight and who’s the prince(ss)

This is legit a Knight’s Tale AU, except instead of Jousting, we’ll say Hamin ends up taking Princess Pippa across the country as a sort of personal security situations and, as usual high jinks ensue. IDK who makes the best Chaucer stand in as a pal to help Hamin in his quest but he definitely needs the help. Pippa catches on like, super fast anyway because her interpersonal insight is boss af but she just goes with it because it’s amusing and he’s doing a fine job.

Another candidate for the OT3 bc Chaucer!Zarad is perfect, but so is the plot being that Hamin and Zarad had a thing aaages ago, now Pippa’s being carted off to marry prince Zarad and oh hey this is also nearly a Sinbad AU but with the proper Poly Ending in place

There is no AU where Pippa’s a the knight to Hamin’s prince, I’m sad to say. Her martial skills are about nil.

who’s the teacher and who’s the single parent

HMMM. I think Early Childhood Specialist Hamin and Parent Pippa shake out best, mostly because at the end of the day I don’t think Pippa like...likes kids that much. She doesn’t dislike them but she’d never want a life devoted to spending all her time with them. Her own kids though, different story.

Evil instinct says dad is Clarmont, because I feel like Clarmont is really easy to kill off in incredibly tragic but heroic circumstances and Modern AU Pippa would totally be down for a Clarmont romance. Anyway, Pippa has an adorable little girl who thinks Mr. Hamin is the BEST teacher, he helped her dig up worms for her show and tell at recess mama!

Pippa and Hamin in this set up don’t actually meet for like, a solid three months so they both form skew-whiff images of the other and so they get a CLASSIC “oh no (s)he’s hot / THIS IS MR. HAMIN / THIS IS MS. X” moment. Adorable Little Girl is captain of this ship despite being like, 4 and Pippa and Hamin are just along for the ride.

High jinks ensue.

(alt bc I’m never not on my bullshit dad is Zarad, and not dead and they just never married bc Family Drama and OT3 babey)

who’s the writer and who’s the editor

Absolutely writer Hamin and editor Pippa. She inherited from someone who quit and she really shakes things up by like, having Expectations and shit and Hamin, who’s been not in a good place following a personal trauma, finds himself annoyed for all of two seconds before she shows up on his doorstep on the day after a due date because if he wants to play Pippa will Play. And oh no, she’s cute. Hamin is enraptured, Pippa just wants him to work at first. Romance blossoms lopsidedly but he charms her after some sort of deal is struck that includes her dragging him out of the house to buy food or just go for a walk or whatever.

Shenanigan ensue.

This one is pure fluff about the power of human connection, there is no second act drama they get to skip ahead AND collect their 20 dollars it’s great.

#awaylaughing writes #7kpp #haminxcorval lady #otp: build a better future #7kpp hamin #pippa of corval #ft. 7kpp zarad #and #7kpp clarmont #in the WORST WAY I AM SORRY CLARMONT #u just seem like the kid of guy who'd die preventing a mugging or smth heroic and seemingly senseless #quilleth #also this is over 1.5K words kasdlksas

3 notes · View notes

np-c · 6 years

Text

Fanon as canon

(sry for bad writing, that’s gonna be some gramatic wrong shit but i NEED to say this -aahhh this is hard, sorry)

That’s not a message to antis (fuck them) but massage to pro-shippers. In our fandom we have some weird shit that we all agreed is canon? Its all because bakudeku started as enemies..? rivals? definetly not friends? Because Bakugo told Deku to go to kill himself.

That was a first episode; we didn’t know a shit except we need to protect Izuku at all costs bc he’s so adorable and just need protection. But then there is started some weird west shit where people completly ignoring what’s going on on the screen cuz no one noticed Izuku’s reaction on these words.

Well, you see, I came in fandom after wonderful villain!deku au’s and now i think its the dumbest thing fandom ever made so i was low-key shipping bakudeku. And one of the reasons why i started to watch this show was ‘cuz I wanted to see how really abusive this ship is. I wanted a proof. For my favorite kind fo AU and for my probably OTP.

...

But then I finally saw that scene, goddamn I laughed so fucking hard OMG. Pls rewatch it, PLEASE REWATCH IT WITH YOUR OPENED EYES.

Was it just me or Izuku’s first reaction was a desire to say “well fuck you too”???

Was he upset? Obviously, his notebook was thrown into window. But what else? He was angry. He wasn’t scared before Katsuki glared at him. He wasn’t crying (his usual reaction at everything). After that, he just said that Katchan was stupid to say that.

That was the moment when villain!deku died to me. But so did a big part of bakudeku fandom cuz they are so good people who can’t do anything wrong so when they do, they need to apologise и этот момент во всех фанфиках написан как по методичке And so need Bakugo BECAUSE HE BULLIED MIDORIYA FOR TEN YEARS or something like that apparently (funny thing but i figured that russian just doesn’t have an equal translation; well we have a lot of childish nouns and a lot of verbs so we can translate ‘he was bullied’ but we can’t translate ‘that guy is bully’ without it sounded stupid and childish THE FUNNIER THING: the closiest that i heard used is ‘provoker’ :D i just found that very hillarious dontmindme)

Well, the question is: was Midoriya really get bullied? I saw enough animes to think it was not the case. Or it was nothing really serious and just words. And look me in the eyes and tell me that this guy gave fuck about what people told him. Especially in middle school. He was one with his dreams against the world, even against his own mother (and i need to write another post why i hate Inko Midoriya and probably why I’ll never be accepted in your world of saints). He was quirkless and people laughed at his dreams. His mother didn’t believe in him. But Katsuki? He just wanted get rid of him.

Big bad Katsuki, right? Because you never ever in your lives met people who you thought was weird, who made you feel weird. That could be your friends sometimes or your friend’s friend or just that one classmate - you have never been in such a situation, right? I’m not saying his actions are fine - nah, he was an asshole kid, but i can understand why. Actually, if you read manga, it was said literally: Katsuki doesn’t see a problem in a bit of violence. He was raised that way, he’s angry kid, with not so family-friendly quirk (probably). But he knows when to step back, he follows rules, he’s a good student and he wouldn’t let his ‘friends’ smoke nearby bc he doesn’t want to get into trouble. His dreams (plans) are too big, he works so hard for them to happen. He might be an asshole but he’s responsible asshole за то и любим

So, some stupid kid who thinks he’s better then Katsuki (btw go rewatch their first fight but without this ‘we need to protect Deku’ bullshit in your mind and listen to their dialog - it’s a gold of comedy misunderstandings honestly) that kid thinks that he’s, being a loser (he WAS loser, smart ofc but still yeah it’s not good call him that but ffs), quirkless, can achive something for what Katsuki worked so hard. Most of you would’ve hate this kid too, don’t lie to yourselves.

But would he risk his dreams to hurt him?

Yeah, there’re moments from times when they were what? four? that frame where ‘he became bad after he got his quirk’? i honestly think it was a plothole but just imho :D Asshole violent little brat but i really would’ve love to know the whole story bc wtf. It’s probably my problem after being here too long so i automatically looking for bad things and it’s not like kids never fight. I don’t believe it was something drastically and IT IS the most drastic thing that i found in their history.

And after all... intresting point: Deku still thinks that Katsuki is amazing (even when he’s an asshole) and don’t you fucking dare call him a masochist ‘cuz he’s not. He would fight him.

He wanted to fight him when Katchan said that stupid thing (that you all so love to overthink). He fought him when they were little. He fought him in villain vs heroes lesson without that much of a second thought. Yeah, he’s nervous around him at first bc Katsuki is loud and literally explosive and yeah, from that all you can think he’s scared of him, but is he? Izuku is nervous kid in general. He always was just a nobody for his classmates and it’s not like he was naturally talanted at anything (quite opposite) and his only parental figure is Inko (she’s wonderful woman, okay? but not the greatest mother and also nervous wreck). It was his first days in UA, Class 1-A was just introduced, we didn’t know anybody, and it’s some new test already - ofc he would be nervious.

So, anyway, if Katsuki didn’t abuse him physically, he obviously did that emotionally bc... we need a scape goat and we already hate Bakugo and he told Izuku to kill himself so that’s enough. Or bc he’s the only guy from Izuku’s chilhood who’s name we know, so we can blame him - he’s important to story, right? probably bc every story need an almost-villain so we can hate him altogether. Or maybe bc it was not Bakugo, but a whole atmosphere: his classmates, teachers, his ‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry’ mother. First of all, probably genes.

Second of all, ask yourself a question: can one stupid Izuku’s words Bakugo Katsuki break Midoriya Izuku? To the point where we call that’s a trauma, where Katsuki’s usual harsh vocabulary becomes a crime, where we write suicidal fanfics and they don’t sound stupid?

Except they does because Izuku isn’t suicidal, not even fucking close. He doesn’t have a trauma. He is just a nervous kid and - actually - he isn’t fucking weak (strong in spirit or smth like that). Funny thing: when i first watch their exam right before summer camp arc, when they started talking that great speak about impassable wall, I actually thought that can be said about Izuku :D He’s not easy to break and he easily ignores people’s opinions when he needs. He’s self-destractive, not suicidal. Different things, guys. I’m pretty sure even if he did thought about that ‘way out’, he never made this an option. Yeah, you actually can seriosly consider this as your ‘way out’ and then think that nope, not for you.

So, after all this FUCKING TEXT WALL OMYGOD, let’s get back to the point that I didn’t even stated in first place.

Why Katsuki need to apologise?

I’m sure at some point Katsuki hated Deku (bc Deku looked down at him whatever it was or wasn’t thruth - for Katsuki it was) and at some point Deku couldn’t leave him alone. He called him names (name ‘Deku’ was made before Deku happened to be quirkless, some people forget about that), but so did everyone and don’t make Katsuki the most evil one - unlike most, he had reasons and he’s an angry kid and Izuku was a bad guy in Katsuki’s story who wanted to destroy him while hiding behind his innocence smile - what a fucking story with a plot-twist it could’ve been, if it was Katsuki’s POV-

Katsuki didn’t ruin Izuku’s life, not even close. You can say, he ruined his childhood, but I would risk to say that was mutual (Greetings, Inferiority Complex!). Really, can I start to say that Izuku need to apologise to Katsuki bc he didn’t even try to understant his friend?

So, Bakugo is a bully bc we never saw an angry teenager and bc Izuku is innocent and it’s just them two in the world and Izuku is the only one who was hurt no, really, no jokes here, I think Katsuki is a lot more emotionally damaged then Izuku ever was and because we have a really dumb headcanons that we forgot were just our thought ебаное слово, вечно забываю как пишется and interpretations.

So we agreed that Katsuki beat Izuku bc he was quirkless and helpless (seems like EXACTLY THE REASON WHY HE WOULD DO THIS R I G H T) and called him names (definitely not bc he felt threatened by someone who’s supposed to be just a nobody).

...

Okay, that sounds bad so I rephrase it:

Why Katsuki should apologise to someone who he saw as a threat when he for so much reasons shouldn’t?

Not so simple anymore, hah?

Can sound dumb but ambivalent feelings is a thing. And that’s the only reason I can find to explain why Katsuki was the only one of the whole class who didn’t laughed when they’ve been told Deku’s trying get into UA. Because shitty nerd had a chance? Because shitty nerd thought that he stand the same ground as Bakugo and it wasn’t funny anymore? Because stop looking down at me?

Bakugo Katsuki is the best fucking character I’ve ever met. He’s so real. So complex.

And when you picture him as a bully or just a bad guy or abusive, you’re killing him as a character. I don’t like saying that 16y.o. are just kids, but he is AND he’s trying his best. He doesn’t understand all things and he has never met a proper rivals before and he’s definitely not a social person (and nope, you can’t change a character so deal with it and learn to see through this). And let him learn.

He may or may not look back one day and see what a little piece of shit he was, but I don’t think he would say something. He’s a man of action after all.

And I definitely think that would be unnecessary and would look forced bc Izuku doesn’t need this. Izuku isn’t a victim, and when you picture him as one, you’re killing him as a character.

(it should’ve been ended right after ‘OMG TEXT WALL’ but here we fucking are; does someone read this?

i really hope this shit is readable; if not, it’s not about my shitty english that much, but my writing, ehh)

You have headcanons - good. You figured them in a way to fill a gap in the story - great. But for the love of characters, don’t fucking pretend them to be a canon.

But really, is it just me or does first chapter look weird? It’s fctually just funny how so many people seems stuck in FIRST CHAPTER when we are close to second hundred. I’m not saying ‘heeeey character development’. I’m asking: is first chapter a really good reason to make assumptions?

#bakudeku #bnha #boku no hero academia #midoriya izuku #katsuki bakugou #my shitty inglish #SEVEN HOURS OF MY LIFE TO THIS SHIT wooooow #its not even readable is it #i'm d o n e #just my disorganised thoughts tho

20 notes · View notes

herstarburststories · 6 years

Text

There's always someone to love you ✘ Dark!Barry|Savitar Imagine ✘

✘ A/N: Hope you like it! Thanks for my beta, @lyss-91, as always ♡ And tumblr isn't letting my put the title, bleh.

✘ @lookclosernow's request: Savitar? Maybe you were his love and he wanted to destroy everything because after your happy life together you said that you didn't love him! (It's not try maybe it was your doppelgänger or smth) and I need flashback where you broke his heart ❤ And then when he is evil you came and said about your real feeling. And happy end! Thank you 😊

Beaches are cozy and clean, until people start throwing litter at them. Damaging it to the point of turning them into something completely unorganized, even dangerous.

People are like beaches. They come into the world completely pure, and some people throw dirt on them until end up with something bad.

That's what happened to Savitar.

He was a good man, he really was. Until everyone around him began to abandon him and treat him as a stranger, as a disposable, a mistake which shouldn't have even be committed.

Savitar's way of feeling could be explained, but never fully understood. He was a mistake on his own in the world. The people who claimed to love him discarded and replaced him, and Savitar sacrificed himself for them.

He was willing to die for them, and they killed him in the worst way possible.

"Bar— Savitar!" Savitar heard a familiar voice call. He turned around himself, waiting for you to approach him.

"Do you want to tell me I'm a mistake again?" Savitar said like a snake loosening its bitter venom.

"What the hell are you talking about!? What the fuck is your problem, anyway!?" You answered in frustration, almost catching how Savitar's eyes widened quickly and his eyebrow arched in surprise. "Seriously, holy shit. You've been doing this, these stupid puzzles and with... With missing the essential bits!" You normally didn't have a taste for using ugly words like this, maybe a fucking once or twice, but not like that; unless she was frustrated, sad or 100% angry. "From the day we met, you made these sadistic games, torturing each of us mentally until we discovered your identity. Well, your sadomasochistic game worked, we found out. But what's your problem with me? I've never hurt, Barry. I would never hurt, even in this alternative past where you came from." You sighed, running your hands through your hair and tossing them back in exasperation.

"I'd forgotten how dirty that cute little mouth of yours could be." Savitar replied simply, with a smirk painted on his lips. "Let me refresh your memory, you were even worse than Team Flash." He spoke the name with contempt, as if all your friends deserved the fate he had sealed for them. "You stayed with me just to break me even more, maybe I should kill you after Iris only for petulance against your god!" Savitar masked his fucked heart with his power, as he had learned long time ago.

"You're not a god!" You exclaimed and he approached you. His hand touched the skin of your cheek as if it were an ice sculpture, fragile and painful to the touch, and yet beautiful, so beautiful that it made that physical agony from touching worth it.

"I'll be one, and everyone will regret what they did to me." Savitar smiled like a madman, and all you could do was feel your heart beating with exaggerated speed inside your rib cage. You told yourself it was fear, even though your brain was pounding and screaming that it was not exactly that.

"What have I done to you?" You sighed, caught in the contact with those frighteningly comforting eyes, even with the aesthetic change.

"The worst thing a goddess could do to a god." Savitar answered as gently as was posible to him, and you could almost touch the pain in the syllables of his words. "You left me."

Savitar pulled away from you, and you knew he was getting ready to run and leave you with one more unanswered question, but you were done with it. It was time to understand what the hell was going on.

"Tell me everything, tell me every little thing I've done to make you hate me so much." Savitar, who had his back to you at that moment, finally turned to you. "Please."

"Hey, babe." Savitar, still Barry, said when he heard a noise in the front door, avoiding to turn to give a smile to his girlfriend. The way his face was still kept him insecure, even with (Y/N) saying that he was still as beautiful as ever to her. Barry did not even understand how she could kiss him, smile at him, caress him and fuck with him, all those normal couple things. When they went outside, Barry could feel their eyes on him, judging, belittling, utterly angry. He had to admit that he understood these people, no matter how miserable that left his emotional, Barry was disgusted with himself, too. And the only person in the world who could make him see the beauty in himself was you, the love of his life, the moon of his sky. The only person who crossed her arms and kicked her feet when he said he was thinking of doing plastic surgery, because you knew how dangerous it could be, that he could catch an infection or something, and you preferred him alive than in a hospital bed sick, fighthing for his own life. Besides being beautiful, even with the scar, you always said. "So I've been researching and..." But it was still difficult for him to deal with himself every morning. "I found a plastic clinic in Keystone. It's not very expensive and it's new, but it has several people with positive results." A anormal sound at your apartamemt was heard, and Barry almost frowned at it, you hated high heels because they left your feet aching, weird you wear them in Monday morning. He didn't think much about it, maybe you just woke up and wanted to wear high heels.

You finally got yourself into his gaze, generating confusion in his head. Did you mention that you were going to dye your hair? Not that you needed to say everything you were going to do, of course, but that was strange, especially because of the clothes that were completely contrary to your style, you looked like a villain from a 60s' movie.

Althrough the worst thing was the look you gave to him: surprised, and yet, as if you were disgusted with what was seeing. You've never looked at him that way, like Team Flash and the people on the street. That was the first crack in his heart that day.

"Your hair looks beautiful." He praised it because it was true and he should just be paranoid again.

"I know." The coldness in your voice was worse than Killer Frost's ice kiss. And your cheeks were not blushed with his praise? And without a small smile or a quick peck on his lips? You did even look like yourself. And it was paranoia and anxiety or you were staring at the burn on his face so far? Anyway, those factors together formed the recipe for Barry to look away, suddenly embarrassed of himself.

"I know you don't want me to do plastic surgery because of the risks, bu..." Barry continued, trying to shift to a subject in which he had been trying to get your support for weeks.

"Risks?"

"I know, it's more than risk, I promise I heard what you said. I can get an infection, the surgery can go wrong and my face get deformed, but..." Your giggle, in fact, laugh, stopped his mouth. He looked at you in confusion, your eyes were almost crying of that hard laughing.

"I don't know if you looked at yourself in the mirror recently, but you're completely screwed. How come you live knowing your face is like this? You don't go outside, do you? I'm just saying, people can get annoyed by... this lil problem." She rolled her eyes. "It's disgusting, really. How could I love you?" Again, the snow-like smile graced her red lips, and her coldness was transferred to her own words. "Breaking news, I never loved you. If you'll excuse me, I have to go home."

Barry couldn't walk, breathe or talk for at least fifteen minutes after you left. How could you say those things to him? You had been the only anchor which kept him from plunging into the darkness of pain for so long, and now you just drowned him there.

It took a while for Barry to notice that there were tears coming out of his eyes and touching his burn, causing an immeasurable pain, but he could not get the salt water off his face. His whole body trembled, Barry tried to breathe, althorugh it seemed almost impossible. It was like those panic attacks he had a few times when he was a kid after his mother was murdered.

Barry's condition was deplorable, and he couldn't help himself. He tried to get up, run, scream, yet he just fell to the ground, one act that the speedster considered like a human weakness. Barry gave up fighting and gave himself that moment, only his sobs were heard as his body was agonizing on the floor.

You, the moon of his night, thought he was disgusting.

And the light was completely erased.

Savitar stared at the floor, didn't feel right to talk about that moment with anyone, especially the being that had caused it in him, but the god's speed just couldn't really say no to the only that had the remaining pieces of the stone that was once his heart.

"Oh, Lord." You said in shock, your eyes wet with his truth, it was painful just thinking. "I... It was not me." You finally managed to say the words that were struggling to get out of your throat a few minutes ago.

"It was you, even if you do not remember it." Savitar snapped back, ready to leave you again.

"It was not me." You sniffed and he took a step forward, a little further from you, and it smashed your heart, and the confirmation of you having helped him to have his soulbroken worsened the sensation in your chest. "I ... I remember this version of me. Not of this reality, of course, but from the past that I remember, this one was a duplicate from another earth, sent to kill The Flash. But she was a sadistic little bitch and screwed the whole team's life before we get her." You explained, and Savitar didn't answer. "You... Did you get those memories of Barry? Of that me?"

"I did, but it was after I became who I am. I denied all the memories that involved you, didn't want to think about things related that day.I did not think... "

"That there really was someone who loved you? Someone who would never leave you or hurt you like this?" You took a step forward, insecure but determined. The old popular saying that your mother used to say hammering in your guts: go, and if you're afraid, you're keep going. "I'm still here." You put a hand on his shoulder gently, and Savitar turned to you. You could finally see the vulnerability spreading all over his face and body. You put your hand on his scar, trying to show that you were not angry. You loved every bit of him, even if he hated it, especially when he hated it. "I still love you." You made the confirmation of your suffering as gently as you could, and you received your reward as he closed his eyes and leaned unconsciously toward you. You gave a warm smile, the hope was still there. "It's not too late."

Because you always knew that people were like beaches, and that beaches could be completely detonated. But its beauty would always be hidden behind the horrible things they've been through, and with the right work... They could shine again.

219 notes · View notes

eiwyn · 6 years

Text

NON ADOPTEES SHUT THE FUCK UP AND FUXKING LISTEN

i just saw a stupid fcking post with obviously white non-adopted feminists tryna look good and openminded and progressive and understanding by promoting adoption without having any idea what they’re talking about lmao can someone just kill me already. why is adoption so romanticized? why do ppl think adoptes just ”wait” to get adopted and that adoptive parents are some sort of ”heros” or ”good people” for adopting??? why do white rich ppl think they have MORE right to have another persons child than the fuxking biological parent themselves?? that must be like the most toxic mindset and its SOOOOO typical white rich ppl and their savior complex. THEY know BETTER on how to take care of brown poor peoples children than themselves. like this is just colonial bullshit. you’re stealing poor brown peoples children and excuse yourself with ”knowing better”????? you have every fucking money and privilege in the WORLD to help brown poor people to stay with their children or use birth control, yet you DONT!!!! bc you USE them to boost your disgusting white rich savior image. im so triggered by non-adoptees talking about adoption. that post had like 200k + and im just here like.... youre all fucking stupid. honestly. ITS NOT THAT EASY, STOP TREATING US AS OBJEVTS, STOP TALKING OVER OUR HEADS AND START LISTEN TO ACTUAL ADOPTEES god i hate them so much lmaooo. its just SO FUCKING CRINGE, they literally out there wanna feel good about themselves for being so ”openminded” and ”seeing adoptees as children lile their own” like wow you want a fucking prize or smth?? they act like the prejudices they face are the WORST ever when in fact, the prejudices adoptees face from their adoptive parents are WAY worse than any random stranger saying ”i could never adopt”. i just wanna say that adoption isn’t something good and anyone who thinks that is dumb af and can unfollow me right now. now repeat after me; ASOPTION IS NOT GOOD. ADOPTION IS TRQUMA. like why would it be GOOD TO BE ABANDONED BY YOUR PARENTS, HAVING TRAUMATIC ISSUES, THEN GET YOURSELF A PAIR OF WHITE ADOPTIVE PARENTS WHO ACT AS OF THEY DID YOU A SERVICE BY ADOPTING??? adoptive parents dont want to help children lmaoo. they just want a child + feel good about themselves. white rich adoptive parents have EVERY PRIVILEGE IN THE WORLD to help poor brown families stay together, wether its about birth control or financial contribution and less racism. but nope, they don’t. because they know they can use these poor people to adopt their children. it’s capitalism and colonialism in a nutshell. rich ppl loves to think they help poor people by exploiting them as if they were slaves. and white ppl loves to exploit brown ppl and take their babies and ”assimilate”, ”civilize” them. i hate white feminists who think adoption is the solution to everything. i hate white feminists who think poc and gays and poor ppl should adopt more because ”thats so progressive and diverse” without thinking of the DAMAGE adoption caused children?? like lmao you think its fun to be shipped around the first few years of your life??? you think this will just ”get better” later? (you fucking inhumane piece of shit. i got big abandonment issues and im emotionally unstable which has caused me to fuck up many relationships, only making my abandonment issues growing stronger. and thats probably smth i’ll have to learn to live with for the rest of mt life. fick you.) you promote for minority and oppressed groups to adopt without even realizing that its THESE GROUPS adoptees come from?? like maybe you should HELP THEM keep their children instead?? i know whites in the america who make like campaings and shit so ppl can DONATE to them so they can ADOPT????? but they cant even help the MOTHER to KEEP her child???? not to talk about sweden were adoptive parents get 80k to adopt bc ”poor ppl should also be able to adopt” but us ADOPTEES dont get ANYTHING to be able to revisit our home countries??? no instead we have to pay a membership flr these disgusting adoption orgnakzations, tell them our whole life story and our revisit and PROMOTE their organisation so OTHER adoptees will pay them and OTHER adoptive parents wanna adopt with them??? yeah. unpopular opinion but adoption is fucked up. adoption isnt a human right, no one has the right to take another persons child. however the CHILD has the right to know who their parents are and where they come from. adoption is nothing but human trafficking and capitalism, racism, colonialism and sexism all in one. and i refuse to think otherwise. also if you’re not adopted, then dont fucking speak about us. dont fucking talk about us. you think you’re our allies LMAO you think its us ”adoptive parents and adoptees against the evil ignorant racists” but you’re fuxking wrong. its US ADOPTEES agains adoptive parents and adoptive prganisations constantly trying to profit from our seperstion with our biological families. youre not our fkn allies, you dont undersyand shit. do you know how many times ive spent my free time in trying to educate adoptive parents FOR THE SAKE OF THEIR CHILDREN and they dont undersyand nor care a shit?? its not bc they’re stupid. i grew up with the same parents, i learn everytjing mysELF (thanks to other adoptees, thanks to my experiences as a brown adopted woman and thanks to my interest for polticis and human rights). if I CAN DO IT SO CAN YOU. ppl get so triggered when adoptees question adoption y’all be like ”omg u must have had a shit childhood im so sorry for you”, ”wow youre SOOO ungrateful!!! you should just have been a child prostitute back in asia then???” (lmao that says a lot about tour fucking reasons bejind adopting and your fucking pride. so many adoptees being threatened to be sent back, guilt tripping them, which definitely is abuse but no one gives af about that). people get so triggered by adoptees questioning adoption but they dont undersyand my adoption isn’t better or worse than anyone elses. ppl assume im mentally ill or hate my adoptive parents but in reality i just hate capitalism, racism, sexism and classism. like its not that hard to understand lmao. ITS COMMON FUCKING SENSE YOU CANT CLAIM TO CARE ABOUT WOMEN, POC OR POOR PEOPLE WITHOUT VARING ABOUT ADORPEES. yet its SOOOO taboo to claim youre against adoption bc adoption is so romanticized due to all the whites saving war orphans. its not adoption ”in itself” im against FUCKING OBVIOUSLY but the INDUSTRY. like idgaf if your step father, who’s been your stepfather since u were 2 after your biological dad died, adopts you?? im obviously against the exploitation of poor people but that is SOOOO TABOO even among ”feminists” which i find so fkn weird tbh and EXTREMELY hypocritical. adoption is a feminist issue, yet no one gives af. if you’re one of those people promoting adoption, CLAIMING to care about us, but agtually u just want money/children and to look good then fuck you block my ass and dont ever look at a child ever fuxking again.

#adoption #pp

2 notes · View notes