#me writing in korean like they aren’t going to translate this

[luvirenes]

지금 나는 기라리고 있는 걸 여친을 일어나 ㅠㅠ 빨리 빨리 ㅠㅠ 너와 같이 이야기하고 싶어

#me writing in korean like they aren’t going to translate this #at least it’s some lang practice :’) #한국어

[woniverse-writes]

"Moth to a Flame (part 7)"

Bada Lee x Reader

part 6 ⟵ part 7 ⟶ part 8

series masterlist

summary: y/n l/n is the youngest team member of Jam Republic, competing in the second season of Street Woman Fighter. she’s got the sweetest smile and the most vibrant personality, but she also may or may not be the biggest hothead on the show when it comes to defending her teammates. apparently that’s attractive to Bada Lee.

word count: 9k

warnings: swearing, minor angst if you could even call it that, tbh this doesn't feel like my best work so i'm sorry, not proofread, nothing I write is a reflection of anyone's true character and is a work of total fiction

After Deep n Dap had been defeated by Wolf’Lo, There were a few days between the elimination and when the crews were supposed to gather again to learn the group choreography for the trailer. In that time Jam Republic had been booked and busy- they had a long-awaited team dinner, went to some dance classes, and even taught some of their own.

Y/n specifically took a class with Harimu at 1 Million, that happened to to be taught by Redy. the three hung out before heading to the studio, grabbing lunch and bonding over dance and being the youngest members of their crews. 

“So how’re things among the other Jam girls? Are you all getting accustomed to things here?” Redy asked after taking a sip from her mimosa

“They’re all doing great- as I explained earlier, it wasn’t really hard for me to get re-situated, but I was actually really nervous for them at first…” y/n explained briefly, causing both 1 Million dancers to tilt their heads and furrow their brows

“Aww, why? Because of the language barrier or just being in a different country?” the older of the two questioned again

“A bit of both- I knew the language would be hard for them since it took me years of studying to even be able to speak and understand it somewhat fluently, but I felt okay enough to be able to translate for them… I was mostly worried about how we’d be perceived by Korean netizens I guess, since we’re such a diverse team…” The youngest dancer played with her straw once she finished her sentence, a bit shy to admit her original concerns for her team. The other two nodded sympathetically 

“Well, have you made any other close friends?” Harimu finally chimes back in, wanting to avoid the deeper conversation that she felt was about to arise

“You and Lusher seem pretty close- Tatter too!” Redy exclaimed, having remembered the girls’ reactions to Y/n, as well as how easily the blonde got along with her during the rank mission. Y/n smiled softly and was about to confirm their friendship before the other 1 Million dancer snorted and began talking again

“Now that you say that I can’t help but be curious about what’s been going on between you and Bada” she teased out of curiosity, not noticing how quickly the younger dancer’s face dropped. Y/n didn’t say anything at first, taking another sip from her drink, causing the two to look up from their own over at her.

“...there’s nothing going on between me and Bada… we aren’t even friends…” Y/n softly tells them, leaving both of them shocked

“Woah- what??? Did something happen?? Just a couple of weeks ago you two were all over each other!” Harimu loudly explicated, earning a smack to the arm from her teammate

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to Y/n, we understand… I especially understand that Bada isn’t the greatest at communicating so…” Redy comforted the girl, but y/n just chuckled a bit sadly before sighing

“It’s okay, I don’t mind explaining it to you guys…” She told her two friends and then did just that. Y/n explained how she and Bada became close quickly, how they hung out as just the two of them on multiple occasions, leaving out the parts where things got a bit too intimate, but it wasn’t hard to fill in the blanks. Then how things went south as soon as the pressure was on for the mega crew mission. By the end of the retelling, y/n’s mouth felt dry and she couldn’t help the feeling of shame that arose once again at the remembrance of how childish and immature she had acted.

“Wow… I didn’t think it was gonna be that bad…” Harimu mumbled, reaching over to take a sip from Redy’s mimosa, causing the other to fumble to try and stop her before immediately giving up to pay attention to their friend

“I’m so sorry you had to experience that Y/n… you didn’t deserve that.” Redy reached across the table to hold Y/n’s hand, the younger looking up to meet her eyes before pursing her lips

“I mean… I kinda did… maybe not all of it, but at least most of it-”

“No way- I wouldn’t even say you deserved a quarter of it” the younger 1 Million dancer cut her friend off, not liking how self-deprecating she was sounding, causing her teammate to nod and hum

“Harimu’s right- sure you said some things you shouldn’t have and you may have started the argument, but if Bada had been so mature herself, you two probably would’ve been able to get out of that fight with your relationship still intact.” the oldest of the three intelligently remarked, causing her teammate to hum and nod while Y/n just sighed

“I can’t believe you two haven’t talked at all since then…”

“Redy she doesn’t even wanna look at me or acknowledge my existence when we’re in the same room, I wouldn’t be able to get close to her even if I did wanna talk to her…” Y/n pouted and leaned against her hand. They all sat in silence for a moment until Harimu sat up straight with a gasp

“Have you tried getting her attention? Like- maybe you don’t have to be the one that talks first!” she exclaimed with wide eyes, leaving the other two with very confused expressions. She sighed dramatically and continued with her idea

“What if you try to make her jealous??” Y/n gave a deadpan expression in response as Redy rolled her eyes and mumbled an ‘oh my god’ under her breath

“Girl- I already told you we weren’t… a thing… so how would that even work?” the youngest questioned exasperatedly 

“And I already told you how I don’t believe that for a second, BUT- “ Redy snorted as she couldn’t help but agree with her teammate since they’d all seen how Bada and Y/n looked at each other

“We do what every dancer does when they’re trying to make someone jealous- a duet…” Harimu finished explaining and the others just sat there, waiting for her to explain in further detail, which caused her to huff before doing so

“Y/n, you can do a duet with one of us that has a lot of partner work, and touching and it’ll be like- spicy- ya know??? And it’ll make Bada jealous!” the middle dancer finally finished explaining

“It’s not a terrible idea…” Redy chimed in apprehensive, not wanting to upset her friend, but also agreeing with how well it could work. The two 1 Million dancers waited to hear what the youngest had to say, leaving Y/n sighing 

“It’s not a bad idea, but the only way it’d work was if Bada actually still cared…” she mumbled sadly and pouted into the hand that she was leaning on

“Well, there’s only one way to find out!”

The three finished their lunch and headed over to 1 Million Dance Studio for Redy’s class. Afterward, they stuck around and began choreographing a duet for Y/n and Redy

“Oooh, you know what would make this even better??” Harimu excitedly inquired, leaving her friends a bit worried once they saw the mischievous look in her eyes

“Oh god… what?” Y/n whined, throwing her head back

“If you used a song she’s already choreographed too- perhaps a song that no one knows she’s choreographed to yet…” The younger 1 Million dancer raised her eyebrows up and down, yet the other two stood confused. Harimu sighs once again before pressing play on the music she picked. “Psycho” by Baekhyun started playing and Redy burst out laughing

“We can’t- that’d be so mean!” the youngest of the three expressed more of her concerns out loud

“No it wouldn’t- Bada doesn’t own this song. And plus, we could always say something nice about how she was the one who reminded us of this song… nobody else knows the reason we’re doing this besides us Y/n, so it’ll only seem mean to you… and maybe her but she deserves it!” Redy defended, assuring Y/n that there wouldn’t be any repercussions from the public

“Exactly- the mega crew missions won’t air for a while, so people probably won’t even connect the two anyway!” Harimu chimed in, throwing an arm around Y/n’s shoulder, causing her to let out a sigh

“Alright… let’s do it-” she gave in and the other two cheered and jumped with joy, excited to choreograph the piece and cause some chaos. They worked on the piece for hours before filming it. Redy decided she’d be the one to post it, just in case it did cause some drama then it wouldn’t totally be pinned on Y/n. The three girls finished their hang-out sesh and went their separate ways. 

When Y/n had settled into her apartment her phone lit up with a notification from Instagram, letting her know she was tagged in a post. She clicked on it to see the video of her and Redy’s choreography, where the older dancer had captioned it ‘been obsessed with this song lately- thanks @badalee_!’ with a bunch of black, white, and pink emojis. Y/n reposted the video to her story and made sure to leave a comment before turning off her phone and getting in the shower.

Meanwhile, team Bebe was out having dinner when Bada’s phone pinged with a notification. Unlocking it, she opened Instagram to see that Redy had tagged her in a video- a video that had her heart clenching the second she processed what it was, or rather who it was.

Tatter had also opened Instagram while they were waiting for their food to arrive and saw the same video as the first thing on her feed. She turned to Bada immediately and showed her the video but ended up bursting out laughing when she saw the same thing already pulled up on the older girl’s phone. 

“I really don’t see what’s funny about this…” the leader mumbled sourly, while her teammate continued to die of laughter. The others sat confused until Lusher reached over to take Tatter’s phone which she had dropped on the table. The sub-leader tried to stifle her own laughter once she saw the video and read the caption, before sliding the phone back over to the blonde.

“You guys seriously aren’t annoyed by this? They took our song!” Bada childishly whined, causing Tatter to laugh even harder while the younger members started asking what was going on. The eldest tossed her phone gently in the middle of the table for everyone to see the video, and while a couple were confused the other couldn’t help but laugh as well.

“Oh no Bada- they took your song. We didn’t mess with Y/n… this is targeting you…” Lusher smirked as she took a long sip from her drink, causing the leader to scoff

“Seriously? You really think this is specifically targeting me? And why would Redy do that… especially since me and her are good now-”

“So you think this was Y/n’s idea?” CheChe questioned with a raised brow

“Of course! She’s obviously still out to get me with her immature antics…” the leader dramatically pouted and crossed her arms. To her teammates, she looked like a spoiled child who just got told they did something wrong for the first time. This caused most of the members to either scoff or burst out laughing 

“Well you were the one who took it as an attack in the first place- maybe they genuinely just wanted to dance to the song…” Kyma chimed in, shrugging her shoulder, causing the leader to groan and throw her head back against the booth they were all in. She glanced back at her phone to see that Harimu commented on the video- something about how she was glad to be a part of the process. Then the leader clicked on the girl’s story to see she had reposted the video as well, complimenting her teammate but also making some flirty comments about Y/n. almost as if she could read Bada’s mind Lusher spoke up

“Y/n does look really good though… I’d get on that apology Bada or else you might lose your chance…” Lusher whispered the second half of her statement, teasing her team leader with a smirk, knowing how the dance was actually affecting her.

‘great now I have to worry about my own teammate AND these two stealing my girl…’

______________

After the short break they had gotten from filming, all the remaining crew’s returned for the filming of the season teaser video. Y/n had been gradually getting back to her old self after the mega crew mission had ended, feeling much less stress after completing it and having survived the elimination. The poor girl is still absolutely destroyed and guilt-ridden by the entire situation that occurred between her and Bada but is slowly finding it easier to ignore her presence. At this point, it’s been almost another full week since the elimination- meaning it’s been about two weeks since the two had last spoken to each other.

All the teams gathered in the main filming area after going through the hair and makeup process like usual, but it felt different to Bada. As soon as she laid her eyes on Y/n it was honestly like the Bebe leader had an epiphany.

“Woah… I fucked up…” she mumbled to herself, noticing how Y/n’s eyes didn’t sparkle anymore and how she was rather calm. The young girl had always been a bit chaotic and energetic when it came to filming, so what was wrong? This wasn’t a mission, so there was no need to stress- so what could've possibly been weighing Y/n down? And that was when Bada realized, that she was weighing her down…

“Goddamn- it’s about time you noticed…” Tatter mumbled in return, sighing once she noticed her leader’s sad puppy eyes and lips slightly parted in shock. For the rest of the shoot Bada is putting on her best stage face because her feelings are not correlating at all with what she’s supposed to be portraying. 

When they aren’t filming or there’s a break, Bada can only focus on how pretty and sad y/n looks. She doesn’t look sad all the time, but the older girl noticed that whenever she was by herself her mind seemed to always drift somewhere sad. Her smile fades (even though it hadn’t reached her eyes in the first place) and the younger girl suddenly looks so much older with how sunken her eyes are- had she been sleeping? Was she not eating enough? A million questions were racing through Bada’s mind and she tried to keep them pushed down for now, seeing as how she knew the second she started thinking, she knew she wouldn’t stop

Bada knew she was part of the reason why the jam republic dancer was like this, but she couldn’t bring herself to talk to her. So she did what she thought was the next best thing- talk to her leader. She tried to start off with a small conversation between herself and Kirsten to get a feel for the Jam leader’s attitude toward her, which worked in her favor seeing as the other had seemed pretty chill about talking with her. The rest of Jam Republic on the other hand (minus Y/n) observed with questionable glances as Bada laughed and joked with Kirstne like usual.

“Now what the actual fuck is her problem…” Ling commented out of absolute rage and distaste for whatever was going on a few meters away from them

“She better not be trying to pull some stupid shit, cuz I don’t play when it comes to Y/n…” Emma mumbled glaring at the Bebe leader along with the rest of her team. Latrice huffed out a laugh and turned to look at her

“You would sacrifice Y/n to a cult if it meant you got a good laugh out of it…” the sub-leader of Jam Republic commented with a little joking smirk, causing the other members to ease up a little bit and crack some light smiles

“Well yes- I would, but that doesn’t mean anyone else is allowed to!” Emma retorted, sticking up her nose dramatically. Y/n was luckily off getting her hair fixed with Redy and Yoonji, seeing as they all had these little crystals glued in their hair, and a few had fallen out during the first few runs. The Jam Republic members were just glad she wasn’t present to see the interaction, knowing their youngest member would either burst into tears and spiral into a mental breakdown, or spontaneously combust into a ball of flames and go on a rampage. Either way- it would not have been an easy situation to deal with.

Yet the Jammies’ relief is short-lived as they took their second break. Y/n came bounding over after doing a short segment with all the youngest members of each team, a bright smile on her face as her members awaited her return. They had all monitored the performance with smiles of adoration, hyping up their baby the whole time. They praised her and pinched her cheeks, teasing Y/n affectionately until Bada walked by.

“You ready for the leaders’ shot?” she questioned with a hand on Kirsten’s shoulder. The Jam Republic leader turned her attention away from her youngest member briefly to give a polite nod and smile. Bada jerked her head in the direction of where they were heading to film, signaling for the younger leader to follow her in that direction. The two began walking off before Kirsten turned back around to wave to her members, leaving the Jam Republic members in shock

“What was that…” Y/n watched with sad confused puppy eyes and her jaw slightly dropped as the two leaders walked away to go film. The other members stood behind her, tense as they tried to read the young girl’s emotions. Y/n felt her heart rate pick up and her breath quickens, feeling the pressure that usually paired with tears start to build up. She swallowed thickly and pushed down the feeling before turning around to face her members with a forced smile. They all could tell right away and just gave her looks of sympathy, causing her smile to slowly drop as she sighed. 

After the leaders did their portion of the shoot, Bada and Kirsten walked back over to the pink team laughing over whatever conversation they were having. They stopped once they reached the other members, standing directly in front of Y/n. poor girl just stared up at Bada with those heartbroken puppy dog eyes, and god Bada knew it. She felt Y/n’s stare burning holes into the side of her head, using every ounce of control in her body not to glance over and clearly see her watery eyes and quivering lip. She knew that if she were to fully look at the younger girl right now, she’d be faced with not only a heartbroken puppy, but an angry pack of wolves behind her, and to be completely honest she hadn’t achieved that level of bravery yet. 

Bada Lee knew what she was doing. She knew that by acting normal with Kirsten, she’d be getting Y/n’s attention. She knew it’d hurt the younger girl, but that wasn’t her intention this time. The Bebe leader wanted to slowly weave her way back into Y/n’s life, and knew the easiest place to start was by making sure she was on good terms with her team leader, that way she had a mediator (even though Lusher had been playing mediator already, Bada didn’t trust that she wasn’t also trying to get with Y/n).

Y/n doesn’t even realize the conversation has ended and she’s just sitting there pathetically watching as Bada walks away. Ling sighs and pats her head, while the others sadly watch their baby wither away again.

“You okay bunny?” Kirsten asked softly, sitting down next to her and bumping their shoulders together. Y/n just pursed her lips and sighed before closing her eyes and nodding. On the other side where team Bebe has gathered, they also had watched the entire situation, or rather how distraught the youngest Jam Republic members looked during the whole thing.

“You are just so cruel…” Lusher expressed lowly when Bada got within earshot, shaking her head in disbelief as she clenched her jaw. The leader’s eyes went wide as she scoffed

“What?? How?? I’m trying to make things better-” The sub-leader sighed deeply and closed her eyes, genuinely exhausted by her friend’s poor relationship choices

“By forcing yourself into her life and then totally ignoring?? Yeah that seems to be working really well…” she ended up responding quickly, pinching the bridge of her nose as she lost her patience

“Ya know if I couldn’t practically see the tears streaming down her face from over here, I’d say you did a pretty good job!” Tatter snarkily commented with a cocky sarcastic smirk. Bada was really starting to resent her choices in teammates right now… but she knew they were right.

They went back to shooting, finishing the individual teams and small group chat before taking a longer break for dinner. As everyone was gathering back afterward to wrap up the shoot with all the full cast shots, the main monitor lit up. The music video for “Maria” by Hwasa began playing as the song blasted over the speakers. Hwasa enters the stage and everyone begins screaming. Ling and Y/n are gripping onto each other, absolutely shell-shocked at her appearance. The song continues to play as everyone does the choreography with her, the two Jam Republic members living their best lives while their members sit with confused yet excited smiles.

The song ends and Hwasa introduces herself along with the mission. Everyone of course goes wild for the opportunity to choreograph a routine for her, and of course just to be in her presence. The song they’ll be choreographing to is played, and once again the room is filled with screams and cheers expressing how much they all love it. Everyone was already coming up with ideas, but Jam Republic practically had their entire choreo prepared in an instant, as Y/n sat taking in the beat and engraining the feeling into her body and mind

When it ends everyone starts talking about how Lia Kim and Bada were at an advantage since they do this for a living, some mentioning Redlic as well. Y/n became another hot topic and top competitor for this mission seeing as she’s done many recreational choreographies to kpop songs that have gone viral and sometimes even become more popular than the original. When the bonus is announced that they have to come up with a challenge portion to receive extra points that lowkey pisses y/n off. She wasn’t a fan of the idea, thinking it made the part seem too forced and could easily end up making the choreography look cheap or cheesy.

After the idol finishes relaying the mission, she wishes everyone good luck as they wrap up filming and head right into preparing for the challenge. Jam Republic quickly jots down some ideas and gets a feel for the moves as Y/n tests out the choreo she had in mind when she first heard the song earlier. When the crew reconvened the next day for a full practice, their first order of business was figuring out who was going to represent Hwasa.

"I would love to be the center just as much as anyone else, but I feel like whoever can pull off the idol persona best should do it…" the leader smiles and looks in y/n's direction as she pauses her explanation

"so I think we should put it up to a vote!" so all six members made their pick, which ended up being pretty useless since it resulted in a three-way tie between Kirsten, Ling, and Y/n

"I personally think Y/n would be our best bet since she has a lot of experience performing kpop stages" Ling smiled and patted her younger teammate on the knee as she expressed her desire for the youngest member to take the part 

"I also would really like to see Y/n as the center… something just tells me she'd bring us good luck" Kirsten smiles motherly at the youngest who is currently hiding her face in her hands not to let anyone see the smile and blush on her face. So they all collectively agree to have y/n be the center and she's just so happy, cheesing away. She could already imagine the baby noises the editing team was putting over the clips of her trying to contain her excited reaction. After that decision was made, they immediately got to work on choreography. Things were going well enough to the point where the members felt comfortable taking a break around lunchtime. Y/n checked her phone while she drank her water, seeing a text from Harimu

1 Mil Mu: ‘Hey babes! Who’s your team’s Hwasa?’

Y/n: ‘What if I told you it was me…🫣’

1 Mil Mu: ‘I’d say thank god cuz I need someone to come buy heels with me for this😭’

Y/n: ‘Wait- are you hwasa too???’

1 Mil Mu: ‘Yes ma’am😚’

Y/n: ‘AHHHH SHUT UP- we’re gonna eat so hard, I’m so excited’

The news that she’d be going up against Harimu as Hwasa gave Y/n a bit of an adrenaline rush, knowing how perfectly the 1 Million dancer fit the role. She felt as if she’d have to work even harder now, but it made her excited instead of nervous. Y/n has actually gotten back to her normal self for the most part, genuinely excited about this challenge and seeing how everyone else would portray Hwasa’s image.

The next day before practice Y/n and Harimu have a little girls’ morning, going out for breakfast and then doing some shopping. They made sure to try on plenty of options for heels, not too worried about the look of them right now, but rather just needed something to practice in. The two ended up getting two pairs each, a simple yet secure heel that stopped right about the ankle, and then another pair of thigh-high heeled boots to really give the Hwasa feel.

The next day was when everyone would be showcasing what they had so far for choreography, y/n wanted to look as clean and presentable as possible, choosing to wear her thigh-high boots with some booty shorts and an oversized jersey. She hadn’t worn the shoes to the practice, carrying them in her back while she opted for some plain sneakers in the meantime. All teams walk in and Y/n is hyped to the max- until she realizes that Jam Republic is seated right next to Bebe… 

Luckily for everyone involved, the youngest Jam Republic member is too excited about the challenge to worry about Bada right now. She was totally focused on showing her best performance and enjoying everyone else’s. She started off excitedly watching Mannequeen then becoming easily disappointed by how sloppy it got. She was very curious to see what wolf’Lo would come up with though, seeing as their style is classic hip hop- a style y/n hadn’t particularly been a fan of. Yet, watching Mini got her hype. She couldn’t contain her impressed reaction at the pink-haired girl’s vibe, loving the slight change wolf’lo had made in their typical genre of dance.

Bebe was the fourth group to go and Y/n was conflicted, to say the least. To be completely honest- that’s how most of Jam Republic felt, seeing as they were excited to see what the team produced, but they were nervous for their poor youngest member’s heart.

Bada begins a short speech, explaining the concept they were going for as the other members practiced behind her. Lusher and Tatter turned around behind Bada and looked to Y/n giving her a cheesy smile and thumbs up, before immediately going back to practicing. Y/n couldn’t help but smile and giggle at how dedicated her friends were, but she also couldn’t help as the smile stayed when her attention shifted back to the leader nervously smiling and fidgeting with the microphone in her hands as she wrapped up her speech. 

The music starts and Y/n’s small smile immediately shifts into an impressed expression at one of the first moves. Bada gives a cool look as she holds up a hand sign signaling the title of street woman fighter, causing everyone to cheer lightly at the reference

“That was cool…” Y/n mumbled, playfully pouting and scrunching her nose as she tried to hide her impressed smile, causing her members to look at her with wide eyes at first before giggling and ruffling her hair. The chorus arrives and Y/n’s jaw just drops- the girl is so beyond impressed. She’s trying to process whether it’s actually good or if it’s just Bada, but then she watches everyone else and realizes it’s really just that good.

Then Bada struts off to the side for her own little part, doing a hip roll as she covers her eyes, sending the audience into a frenzy- especially Y/n who lets out a small scream and suddenly doesn’t know where to look or what to do with her hands. Ultimately she realized what that reaction must have looked like and just hung her head in her hands as Audrey patted her on the back and tried her hardest not to burst out laughing.

Y/n sat there astonished, watching through her fingers as she continued to hide behind her hands. Bebe finishes their choreography and y/n is trying so hard to contain her excitement, she just hides her face in her hands again and screams out loud. This is gonna be such a rough mission for her…

Lady Bounce went after Bebe and while they looked like they were having a lot of fun, there wasn’t anything super impressive about their routine. Next up was 1 Million and Y/n stood up screaming as loud as she could, so beyond hyped to see her besties perform. Harimu eats up her Hwasa role, as expected and everyone loves the routine, including Hwasa. Finally, after everyone else had gone, it was Jam Republic’s turn.

“Our youngest treasure, miss y/n will be playing Hwasa” Kirsten smiled as she announced their group’s center, causing everyone to absolutely lose their shit. Many dancers had already suspected it once they saw her walk out with the thigh-high boots and everyone else in regular sneakers, but it was still exciting to have the confirmation.

Everyone’s excitement rose as the music began, loving how Y/n completely transformed into a different person whenever she was performing. It started off smooth, but as Kirsten threw her head back for a specific move, her hat fell off. Luckily since Jam Republic is such a well-prepared group, Y/n caught it with ease and tossed it off to the side like it was all part of the routine, causing everyone to react in shock at her quick reflexes. 

The crew continued dancing as if it were nothing, having a blast and feeding off of the other teams’ reactions. Bebe especially was hyping Y/n up, even Bada couldn’t contain her excitement. Yet, the leader did keep looking back and forth between 1 Million’s youngest two dancers as well as her own sub-leader, trying to gauge their reaction to Y/n as well.

After a brief moment of observing the others’ reactions, Bada once again became entranced by Jam Republic’s center. Her expressions and movement quality truly made for a captivating performance, even though it was just an interim check. The crew finished their routine and Lusher stood up immediately clapping and screaming as loud as she could, cheering for the team as a whole but also making specific calls out to Y/n

“Y/N YOU’RE SO SEXY” she cupped her hands over her mouth as she screamed out to her friend, causing the leader to slow her claps and glare at her. Bada was really starting to question Lusher’s intentions- even though the girl hadn’t been acting any different than usual. It was all simply Bada’s insecurities.

_________

The next few days passed in a flash as the crews continued to improve their routines and develop their concepts. When it came time to watch each performance everyone gathered in their respective monitoring rooms. Mannequeen was the first to go, and as the screen lit up with their performance all the dancers got excited that the mission was officially starting. 

“Okay… she’s kinda eating right now” y/n playfully pouted as Redlic devoured the routine. Jam Republic fangirled over them and how sick their outfits were, but by the end they weren’t entirely sold on the routine as a whole.

“It was really good, but I wish they had a bit more energy- or at least were more consistent with it” Latrice commented and the rest of them agreed. Wolf’Lo’s performance was next and once again, the pink team anticipated the final product. Jam Republic was impressed with how they were able to keep their classic hip-hop style while incorporating elements of K-pop

“Everyone is so good I’m gonna scream” was the first thing y/n said after the performance. Yet after recognizing Wolf’Lo’s efforts, they discussed how there was a lack of harmony between the “artist” and the dancers

After Wolf’Lo it was Bebe’s turn to present their routine, and Y/n was losing her mind. This girl was freaking out- hyperventilating and pacing, but out of excitement and anticipation. Audrey, Ling laughed at her, the elder even bringing out her phone to record the girl hopping around like an excited cat, while Emma smirked teasingly and side-eyed her.

“I’m so nervous-”

“Love, this isn’t even our routine…” Kirsten laughed softly at her dramatic youngest member, glad that she was able to enjoy the blue team’s performances again without crying. The second the music started, Y/n was seated, her eyes trained on the monitor before them. She screamed and cheered throughout the routine, and as the song began to approach the slower part she got more excited

 “oh I’m so excited to see what they did for this part-” and the second Bada was down on the floor, Y/n honestly thought she was having a heart attack. It only got worse for her as the music picked back up and the Bebe leader looked over her shoulder, grinning charismatically at the camera while she grabbed her ass and shrugged like it was nothing. 

Y/n’s jaw stayed dropped after she let out a surprised screech. Ling and Audrey also let out similar noises, while the latter reached over at the same time as Emma to cover Y/n’s eyes, knowing how she’d be having a mental breakdown if she kept watching. The performance ended and Y/n sat there in silence with her jaw still dropped to the floor

“I think I’m having a crisis…”

The next team to perform after Bebe was Lady Bounce, which was good but not too memorable. 1 Million followed with an insane performance. The second Harimu’s silhouette was shown, Y/n gasps. The routine starts and she’s clapping and cheering, as well as the rest of her team, all of them excited for what was about to happen. Throughout the entire performance, she’s squealing and screaming because her bestie is eating everyone up (side note: Y/n has so many besties, and the audience loves that for her). The routine ends and every single team is blown away. Jam Republic unanimously agrees that 1 Million has shown the best performance so far, with Y/n enthusiastically agreeing

“Not bebe?” Emma teases and to be completely honest, Y/n didn’t think it was funny

“No. 1 million was by far the best I’ve seen so far- it was flawless” And the members felt kinda bad for teasing her because they could see her become a bit more reserved and serious after that, sinking into her seat on the couch with her arms crossed over her chest. 

After that, it’s finally Jam Republic’s turn, as the final team to present their piece. The music begins and Y/n struts out from behind her members with the cuntiest game face out of all the contestants so far, and everyone goes feral. Her hair, her expression, her confidence, and especially her outfit had them all in shambles. All of 1 Million, but specifically Redy and Harimu were gassing her up before she even started dancing, the crew thinking of ways to convince her to join them after the show. 

“Can we just combine teams already?” “Or at least take Y/n onto our team??” Mannequeen was asking each other questions like this, also plotting how they could continue working with Jam Republic

“That’s my girlfriend!” Lusher cheers and Bada just about breaks her neck- she looks like she’s going to cry at first until she realizes the younger dancer was just joking. She really almost just gave the leader a heart attack, and now Bada felt her face heat up at how embarrassing that reaction was…

They reach the part of the choreography where the other members bend over, and Y/n squats down in between them as she opens and closes her legs, and once again no one is safe. Not a single monitoring room was quiet as the youngest Jam Republic dancer dropped low into the position and flawlessly executed the choreography along with the presentation of facial expressions.

Team Bebe was not discreet at all as they all freaked out and simultaneously turned to face their leader, who was already hiding her dropped jaw behind her hands. Bada bit her fist as Y/n got down on the floor with the rest of the Jam Republic members and began to arch her back up and down in a sort of crawling motion. The move was so simple, but effective as it showcased the sexy vibe of the song.

Jam Republic finishes off strong with the final chorus into the ending pose, and it was safe to say they left everyone astonished. The camera captured the final group pose before zooming in on each member of the crew, leaving Y/n for last. When she appeared on the monitor everyone lost it at how her siren eyes and seductive expression turned into a somewhat playful puppy-like reaction as her eyes widened and she stuck her tongue out, continuing to fan herself but in a cuter manner than before.

“OHHHH ENDING FAIRY LET’S GOOOOO” Harimu cheers with her full chest as her friend appears on the screen

“HOW IS Y/N THE YOUNGEST????” Buckey commented out of absolute shock and astonishment after seeing the girl’s performance

“SHE’S BARELY AN ADULT HOW DOES SHE KNOWN HOW TO DO THAT” Mini screamed, throwing her hands up in the air

“I’ve been an adult for a while and i still don’t know how to do that…” Halo mumbled after her teammate’s inquiry, causing the rest of the crew to laugh and agree

“Ya- they need to put the baby to bed. Don’t let her do that!” Biggy teased, pouting and whining playfully as her members agreed with faux pouts

“She really wanted people to stop babying her I guess…” Tatter calmly stated as she leaned back into the couch with her arms crossed, smirking as she kept her eyes trained on the monitor. The team snickered as Bada slowly turned her head toward the blonde with a deadpan expression, unimpressed with her jab.

Once every team had gone and finished presenting their routines, it was time to get changed and wrap up for the day. Each crew left their monitoring room to head back to their designated hideout spaces and decompress after the events of the day, and await the results of the winning team. Jam Republic was full of giggles and confidence after their successful performance as they bounced down the hallway. 

"ya, y/n…" the small girl whipped around with wide, somewhat fearful eyes and it lowkey made Bada's heart hurt to see her react that way

"yes?" she tried to speak steadily and confidently, but bit her lip and shrunk into herself a little, trying not to outwardly cringe, when she realized how meek and anxious she sounded. The tall girl across from her sighed and softened her gaze, seeing how unnerved y/n was.

"you did a good job." Bada confidently said as her team was about to walk past Jam Republic, shocking everyone on both teams (including herself). Y/n's lips parted and everyone watched as it quivered slightly and her eyes began to get red.

"ah no, no don't start crying…" the older leader tried to remain serious and civil, keeping the distance between them. The younger dancer bit her lip again and took shaky breaths as she frantically nodded her head while wiping away tears. Bada sighed again before taking a few quick strides over to her, not caring about the audience of both their teams. She placed a gentle hand on top of the shorter girl's head, gently ruffling her hair.

"ayyye don't cry" This time Bada tried to be more gentle and took the approach of some friendly teasing in hopes of at least getting a smile out of her, but it only made things worse as y/n looked up at her with a huge frown and teary eyes. She really was trying her hardest to stop crying, but nothing was working. Poor Y/n was just so happy to have Bada back at this moment. The look just about finished off what was left of Bada's heart. Any part of her that hadn't been touched by guilt yet was now overthrown by it. She felt her own eyes begin to sting a little as the pressure built up but didn't allow for any tears to form.

"Y/n-ah don't cryyyyy" Bada whispered softly as she gently reached to hold her face in both hands, wiping away the endless tears. This caused the younger girl to fully burst into tears and attempt to hang her head as much as she could in Bada's hold, but as soon as the tears increased the older girl was pulling y/n into her chest, hugging her as if she had no plans on ever letting go. Bada closed her eyes trying to keep her own tears at bay. 

The other members of both teams just stood clumped together off to the side, absolutely baffled by what was happening. A majority, if not all of them had dropped jaws or dumbfounded expressions. Lusher had to cover her mouth after letting out a squeak of excitement when Bada put her hand on Y/n’s head. It was a small moment, but a huge step for both girls.

“You did amazing, so don’t cry anymore, okay?” Bada whispered after pulling back from the hug, leaning down slightly so their faces were the same level. Y/n nodded and sniffled, wiping away her tears and finally pulling herself together.

“Thank you- you too…” she gave a watery smile as she hiccuped and the two giggled slightly over the situation. The older dancer smiled sadly and nodded before heading back over to her team. As they began to walk off Tatter turned around 

“Congratulations Jam Republic- you all were fantastic- WE LOVE YOU!!!” the blonde screamed enthusiastically making a giant heart over her head with her arms, causing the rest of her team to follow and also share their love and praise for the team. The pink crew just smiled brightly and laughed, before shyly mirroring their reaction. After both crews went their separate ways and made it back to their hideouts, Y/n stood in the middle of the room as her teammates settled in.

“What’s up, Bunny?” Audrey asked, with a worried expression as she saw Y/n’s confused but teary eyes. The girl looked up and burst into tears again on the spot. All the members were shocked at the sudden outburst and ran to comfort her. 

“She said I did good…” the girl bawled as her members hugged her. They all tensed for a short moment before bursting into a fit of giggles at how cute and sentimental their baby was. She eventually calms down, reducing her sobs to sniffles and soft hiccups. About 45 minutes to an hour passes before the staff is letting everyone know that a winner has been decided. 1 Million receive the 100 points benefit that came with being the group chosen by Hwasa, meaning their choreography will be performed and used for the music video.

The following day, everyone begins preparing for the music video. All the other crews learn 1 Million’s choreography and practice it in preparation for the shoot which would be happening the day after. When everyone gathered to get into hair and makeup for the video it felt fun. Not stressful, or competitive, just fun- and all the dancers were truly grateful for that. 

Each crew had been given a portion of the song where they were able to perform a bit of their own choreography, highlighting their efforts as a whole production. They were able to tie up the shoot within just one day of filming, giving all the crews an extra day of rest before having to officially start working on their final mission before the finale.

y/n had been walking toward the set’s dancer lounge to grab a few snacks when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. The girl quickly turned around and became face to face, or rather face to chest, with the dancer she still wasn’t on the best terms with.

“Hey…” Bada whispered once she made eye contact with the smaller girl, removing her hand quickly as she realized it was still resting on her shoulder. Y/n stood speechless, trying to force herself to at least utter a ‘hey’ back, but she couldn’t find the strength. 

“Can we talk?” the leader continued softly, voice wavering ever-so-slightly, but not enough for anyone to notice. To Y/n, Bada seemed confident and relaxed as her soft eyes peered down at her. It should’ve been comforting not seeing any signs of her being tense or upset, but the question alone made the younger dancer tear up, already feeling heavily emotional.

“Uh… yeah… yeah, of course” Y/n spoke meekly, not being able to hold eye contact for more than a couple of seconds at a time as she stood in front of the other girl. Bada glanced over at Kirsten and nodded, giving her a nervous tight-lipped smile as the younger leader gave her a gentle look of encouragement paired with two thumbs up.

The two walked in silence for a bit as they separated themselves from the majority of people, finding a less occupied area to chat. Once they arrived at a moderately secluded area and Bada stopped walking she turned to the younger dancer who stood stiffly with her arms crossed and shoulders tensed.

“So… how have you been?” Y/n starts shyly, trying not to seem too uncomfortable but internally cringing once she realizes how formal she sounds. Bada tried to suppress her frown, hating how awkward things had become, but then again, it all made sense.

“Well… uhm… I’m not doing terrible haha…” she tried to joke around while still being honest, but quickly realized none of her small-talk humor was going to get a laugh out of the other girl

“I actually haven’t been doing great since we last… talked…” she continued, becoming a bit more serious with her tone

“I’ve been thinking a lot- actually all I’ve done is think… about the things I said, about why I acted the way I did, about how to approach you, about how I should’ve done this sooner, and especially about you…” Bada rambled off all of what’s been occupying her brain recently 

“All I do is think about you…” she breathed out, causing the other girl’s own breath to catch in her throat as her eyes widened slightly. Y/n bit her lip looking at the floor and blinked rapidly trying to avoid the stinging feeling in her eyes that was already beginning. 

“I’m so sorry Y/n.�� Bada whispered, starting to feel her throat tighten. The younger clenched her teeth and closed her eyes tightly as a singular tear slid down her cheek, before sniffling and looking back up to meet the tall girl’s gaze.

“That’s all I needed to hear…” she whispered with a sad smile, causing Bada to smile softly for a moment before furrowing her brows slightly

“But you deserve so much more than a simple apology-” the leader spoke seriously, still being conscience of her tone so as to not get too worked up

“It’s okay- I really don’t think I do… I said some terrible things too-” the younger sighed as she spoke

“Well of course, but that doesn’t mean what I said was okay… that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be trying my hardest to make up for the thing I said and how poorly I treated you…” 

“We’re both equally at fault here-” Y/n was nearly cut off by the persistent dancer

“Well, I wouldn’t say equally… I definitely don’t think you were as cruel as I was… not like it’s a contest or anything but I think the impact this argument had on both of us was mostly my fault… especially since the things I said were aimed to hurt you…” Bada tried not to seem pushy, not wanting to cause another argument, but she was set on getting her point across

“I mean… I kinda deserved it-” Y/n chuckled humorlessly as she looked at her shoes, kicking the ground. Bada’s jaw dropped in absolute shock at how the girl honestly thought she was meant to hear such awful things directed toward her

“No, you didn’t, stop saying that! No one deserves to be talked to like that and I feel absolutely disgusted with myself for saying the things I said… I am SO so sorry y/n” The leader spoke up, voice raising slightly with urgency, desperate to get her sincerity across. The younger dancer struggled to find words momentarily, wanting to say ‘it’s okay’, but realizing that it in fact wasn’t okay at all

“...I accept your apology, Bada, I promise…” Y/n clearly stated after a few moments of thought

“Thank you…” Bada sighed, shoulders relaxing slightly 

“I’m sorry too… I was acting immature and childish, and it was really all just because I was hurt by your decision- a decision that I understood had to be made…” and it was true- the girl really did understand why her team was chosen, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less

“Y/n’s you don’t need to apologize-” At Bada’s words it was now Y/n’s turn to be shocked. Even if the girl wasn’t as harsh, she surely was responsible for her own thoughts and actions.

“Of course I do… I need to apologize just as much as you do- for christ’s sake I was the one who caused the whole argument…” She started seriously with furrowed brows, but then her face softened as she continued

“I’m sorry for not trusting you… and for acting like a child-”

“You weren’t acting like a child, you were acting like someone who was under a lot of stress and that’s completely understandable-” Bada cut her off, already feeling the guilt arise again at the memory of how she’d called the younger girl childish and immature

“But I could have handled it so much better-”

“As could I, but we both saw how that actually turned out…” Bada finished with a light teasing smirk, causing Y/n to crack a bit of a smile herself before sighing again and biting her lip as tears filled her eyes

“I also shouldn’t have pushed you to talk about something you weren’t ready to talk about… so for that, I’m also sorry” the Bebe Leader added to her apology, gazing at Y/n with a soft heartfelt look. The younger was staring at the floor again as she sniffled before speaking 

“I’m so sorry Bada-” Y/n whimpered as another onslaught of tears began falling. The older girl gently pulled her into a hug, wrapping her arms around the shorter girl’s shoulders and leaning her chin on top of Y/n’s head.

“Shhh… We’ve both apologized and talked it out- let’s grow from it and move past it now, okay?” the tall girl whispered against the younger’s head, running her hand over the other’s hair, smoothing it down softly

“We should probably work on not talking over each other too…” Y/n mumbled against her chest, feeling the light rumble of laughter as Bada chuckled. Noether had realized the leader had started crying as well until she sniffled and reached up to wipe away her tears without even realizing it.

“There are a lot of things we can work on together- good and bad…” Bada leaned back slightly to look down at the girl, who lifted her head to meet the taller girl’s gaze.

“Yeah… together…” Y/n whispered breathlessly with a relieved smile. The tall dancer couldn’t stop the grin from spreading on her face as she was finally able to stare into Y/n’s sparkling eyes again.

taglist (closed): @tinybada @angel-hyuckie @violetinferno @jesuschrist2006 @1luvkarina @uwulyn @justandloyal2961 @deadgirlwalking3 @squidvoldyvoid @vivzyo @ouhaika @jksjx @ocyeanicc @marianamartinsthings @jxrdxnh @luvjanexx @lorenztired @khjssss @heavenlycloud @loisje123 @starchasermyloves @zhivaxo @grinnwolph @notyourd0lly @stinkbvgs @nermandiiiii-blog @arujee @idontknownemore @thatgayinsomniac @fruitr0llup @cgriffin9797-blog @woooooya @kaaylvst @ssc7514 @astoreea @linda-botello @kpopgirl-97 @erikook @misszoldyc @sammisregrets @jysai @moonsvrse @froufrousnowman @amararosesblog @tikitsune @aestrelle19 @laaaasanielzz @randomhoex @tswisal1 @unpretty-reader @charlesswife @stella222

#moth to a flame #street woman fighter 2 #bada lee #bada lee x reader #street woman fighter x reader #bada x reader #swf2 x reader #swf2

[yoonieper]

Chronicles of My Witchy GF | JJK

We made our own magic.

✵ Pairing: Jungkook x witch!Reader 

✵ Genre: fluff, smut, crack

✵ Rated: W for Which Witch?

✵ Warnings: little bit of weed smoking, lots of cheesy lines (babies in love), Jungkook accidentally eats something he shouldn’t (twice), lots of crying (in the good way), this shit gets nasty, mentions of food play, masturbation (m), dry humping, thigh fucking(?), pillow fucking, tiny bit of breed kink (it’ll make sense later lol), accidental facial, oral (m + f recieving), throat fucking, face sitting, lots of cum (a lot!), unprotected sex (be smart y’all <3)

✵ Word Count: 31.8k (get snacks :’D)

✵ Summary: Just Jungkook and a few cute tales about his witchy girlfriend~

✵ Now Playing…: Freaky Deaky by Tyga & Doja Cat, Lay it Down by Steelix, Under the Influence by Chris Brown 

✵ Betas: Thank you so much to the amazing @jessikahathaway and @xxxanimangxxx for looking over this monster fic so quickly <3!

✵ Author’s Note: This fic is so unserious yall, I don’t know how I ended up writing this 😭 I had plans for a Jimin fic, but I started this hoping to get it done quickly, but this turned out a lot longer than I thought it would be :’) Anyway, I thought I would experiment a little with this type of formatting for this fic~ Hope y’all enjoy, and Happy Halloween! This couple is so cute and has so much drabble potential (I got ideas~)! P.S. Made the banner myself and I’m tryna get better, hope y’all like 😅

No reposting, modifying. Translating is not allowed unless given explicit permission. Thank you so much :D

Hello to the random person who decided to click on this post! I know the title of this might sound a little strange and no one reading this will believe anything I say, but I was just hoping to rant to the void with the high probable fact that this message will most likely be buried under many other users’ posts. I can’t talk to anyone in my life about this. My friends and family have not even heard these stories to their true entirety, as they include secrets that aren’t mine to tell. For once I wanted someone to hear the tales that have somehow become my life. 

I’m Jungkook (pronounced Jeong-guk) and a few years ago I found myself dating a witch (yep, you read that right). We had recently gone out shopping together and I had made up the excuse that I was going to check out another store. In actuality, I was really interested in going to this jewelry place. 

A couple weeks ago on a late night I ended up on their website looking through the array of their jewelry for a birthday present, but I found myself up all night scrolling through the engagement rings page. I had wanted to see a few of them in person. 

We haven’t been dating too long (6 years isn’t that long right?) and we’re both still young with dreams and aspirations that have yet to be achieved in their entirety. That step has always been something I thought should be saved at a later point when things have gotten less hectic, but I found myself looking at this one ring in particular that I couldn’t stop imagining on her finger. All this has just made me reminisce and think about our future. 

My emotions are a mess right now, but for some reason I found myself here wanting to share with a faceless crowd how weird my girlfriend is and how much I love her. 

*All stories were shared with her permission, she’s helping me write this :3*

⊱ ──────ஓ๑∗๑ஓ ────── ⊰

**Bold words are in Korean**

The way he had come to know you had been purely coincidental. Jungkook had always been the type to try his best in his classes. His grades were pretty good considering the notoriously hard courses he was required to take and his gpa managed to show for his efforts. In high school he never cared too much about that type of thing, but after managing to graduate with a 4.1, he was determined to keep it up. 

It had been the fall semester in his 3rd year that he found himself stupidly enrolled in an Ancient History class after his friend Namjoon talked him into it. He was a numbers guy and the class focused on reading a lot of text that he could hardly understand. He tried to pay attention in class but the only reason he was able to absorb any of the course material was listening to Namjoon happily rant about how interesting the story of Gilgamesh was. 

The first few quizzes and even the exam he had a few weeks after, Jungkook found himself stunned at how terribly he was doing. The assessments were hard on their own, but no matter how much he tried to talk with Namjoon about the meaning behind Gilgamesh’s third dream in the story he still found a 65% popping up once he submitted his exam. 

His heart sank, because he knew if he didn’t do well on the next upcoming unit he was sure to fail the class and he could kiss that 4.0+ goodbye. 

With even more help from Namjoon plus a few of his history loving friends Jungkook managed to float at a 70% for all his quizzes but once the midterm was approaching he knew he had to pass this in order to have any chance at getting above a C. 

But as he submitted his very last quiz before the midterm and that 69% popped up he found himself a little desperate for a solution. Somehow his frustrations ended up being received by Taehyung, his roommate and a good friend of both him and Namjoon. He was an Art Major who always seemed to have a little too much time on his hands and enough weed stashed away to make Jungkook momentarily forget about his problems. 

“I can already see it now, all A’s then that one fucking D…” Jungkook sighed, leaning back in his bean bag chair. After that last quiz his overall grade had now reached a spectacular… drumroll please… 68%. It was bad, really, really bad. 

“Hehe D…” Taehyung quietly giggled to himself.

“I haven't had a D on my transcript since elementary school…” Jungkook thought back. “It’ll be so obvious, my parents will see it immediately.” He feared what they might say, the look of disappointment on their faces… the thought alone made Jungkook want to implode.

“Like BAM… right there, just a big fucking D—” 

Jungkook was hardly able to finish before Taehyung burst out laughing. It took way too much time for him to figure out what was so funny. He just rolled his eyes at his friend’s childish sense of humor when he was trying to have a serious talk. 

Taehyung picked up on the vibes and stared at him. 

“Jungkook, I have no idea why you’re thinking about that class right now. Is this weed not good or something?” He genuinely wondered, despite how out of it he felt. 

“I feel like it’s made it worse.” Jungkook groaned, the only thing his mind could focus on was that one D that was probably going to ruin his perfect transcript and– Hehe, it was actually pretty fun– No! No it wasn’t, he was seriously about to fail this class! 

Jungkook sighed and took another hit from his blunt, hoping that would somehow make all his problems disappear. 

“Ok ok ok… how desperate are you to pass this test?” Taehyung eventually asked.

“Hyung, if this is some weird way for you to say I should sleep with the TA again because I swear—“ Jungkook sighed, knowing where this was going.

“No! No… but you really should consider it— I’ve heard she’s pretty hot and maybe that can be your way to pass the class!” Tae tried to reason.

“Hyung, what did I say?!”

“Plus, when was the last time you got laid?” Taehyung suddenly questioned.

“What do you mean? I slept well last night.” Jungkook said seriously, but he just got a hard slap on the back from his hyung at his joke.

“Jungkook, be serious! You don’t come to any of the parties Jimin invites us to, you’re always crammed up in your room. I don’t know, that TA might be a good option for you…”

“Oh my god.” Jungkook suddenly didn’t know the man beside him,

“You both can like read each other lines from the Iliad as dirty talk.” Taehyung laughed but he was actually being serious. Jungkook’s face flushed, both annoyed that this was still a conversation they were having, but he was also embarrassed his hyung wasn’t even exaggerating. 

It had been since freshman year that he had last gotten down and dirty. The only reason he had done in the first place was to check off that stupid virginity box that didn’t really exist in the first place and his sad attempt to fit in with the rest of his peers. He quickly figured out though he wasn’t cut out for the quick party sex. Handjobs in a pantry, blowjobs in a car, fucking in a bush behind the person’s house was not at all his style. Some may call him sappy but he wanted the rose petals on the bed, the picnic blanket under the stars, the shit that makes you cry in movies— all of that was something he knew would probably happen only in a relationship. 

The realization made him basically avoid every party his friends tried to bring him to and Jungkook couldn’t flirt to save his life in the “real world” so as sad as it may sound… everything Taehyung was saying was pretty much true. 

Jungkook took a long hit from his blunt, somehow this whole conversation just made him feel even worse. 

“Anyway though, that’s not really what I was going to mention.” Taehyung circled back.

“What… are you gonna say I should sleep with the professor next?” Jungkook was joking, but he was truly worried about what bizarre thing Taehyung might say next.

“You said it, not me.” 

“Alright then… What could possibly save me from failing this class?” Jungkook stared up at the ceiling, his eyes trained on the spinning fan above. 

“I know this girl who runs this shop downtown, she actually goes here at our school. I’ve been over there before I had big tests and didn’t really get to study, every time I’ve somehow managed to pass using this stuff she gave me.” 

For a while Jungkook didn’t say anything, too focused on the way the fan seemed to slow down if he paid attention to one of the blades. Then it hit him suddenly at what his hyung was saying and sat up to face him. 

“That’s your solution?” He was in disbelief that he was even suggesting this bullshit. 

“I know it sounds crazy, I thought it was too but I promise every time I’ve been over there I’ve somehow managed to pass my test against all odds. Her stuff is pretty expensive so I can’t go over there all the time, but I guarantee everything she sells works.” Taehyung sounded like a spokesperson for the shop. 

“Hyung…” 

“It’s perfect for desperate situations like the one you’re in now.” Taehyung smiled, satisfied with his marketing. 

“I don’t know how to tell you this, but I think you got scammed.” Jungkook put it plainly, going back to staring at the fan. 

“I’m telling you it works! It was worth every penny.” 

“It’s a scam.” 

“All you need to do is go over and tell her what you need help with, she’ll probably give you the same stuff she gave me. You take it home and you can either eat it or smoke it. I usually prefer the latter—“

“Hyung…” 

“Come on Jungkook, think of it as a last resort. I promise to pay you back on whatever you end up spending if you end up doing badly on your midterm!” The suggestion was serious and Jungkook was confused on how this scam had his hyung confident enough to pay him back.

In the end Jungkook promised he’d think about it before he went to get goldfish to snack on. 

As the days passed, what he never thought he would find himself even considering, started to seem like his only hope. Jungkook still didn’t understand a single line of the Iliad and his other classes were taking up all his time so he couldn’t try and ask Namjoon or any of his friends for help. 

When the exam was two days away and after a couple of breakdowns Jungkook found himself in his room, tears staining his textbooks, absolutely mentally drained from taking a test earlier that day. The only thing he could think about was that midterm that was coming up in a few days and the offer his hyung had suggested. 

It was probably a scam, it was 100% a scam, but he had nothing to lose at this point. Even if it was merely a coincidence that Taehyung managed to pass his exams, or maybe it was just the placebo effect at play, he needed whatever luck he could get. 

That’s how he somehow ended up driving himself downtown to the address Taehyung had texted him the day after he told him about the place. 

Jungkook could hardly believe his eyes when he saw the sign so unironically displayed ‘The Magic Shop’ above the door. It just made him feel even more crazy when he got out of his car and pushed open the door, a pleasant bell greeting him. 

He didn’t know exactly what he was expecting going into a place called ‘The Magic Shop’ but he was immediately hit with the pleasant scents of cinnamon and a few other spices he couldn’t remember the name of. Displayed along the shelves were mainly jars with golden labels with words he couldn’t understand along with a couple of funny looking knick knacks in between.

The place was also appropriately decorated for Halloween, or rather much of it was just tasteful fall decor with a tiny skeleton and ghost sprinkled in between. Part of him wondered if this was because of the holiday or did this place look like this all the time. 

“Hello, I’m over here!” Jungkook suddenly heard a voice call out, making him nearly jump. He quickly tried to calm himself before making his way through the aisles over to where he heard the voice. 

“Over here!” He turned his attention over to the counter. 

On his ride over he wondered what kind of girl could possibly be the type to run such a place. A lot of the time he would picture this weird old lady who had way too many cats, colorful scarves, and who was always found hunched over a cauldron brewing up something evil. Any guesses he would have always flew out the window the minute he remembered Taehyung told him that she went to their school. 

Whatever he was thinking was nowhere near the reality. He didn’t expect to be nearly knocked breathless the minute you looked up at him through your big round glasses. You were absolutely adorable and Jungkook was literally rendered speechless as he watched you carefully weigh spices on your little, gold scale by the register. 

Suddenly Jungkook did not know how to be a human being. 

“Are you just going to stare?” You asked, examining the spices up close. 

Jungkook finally snapped out of his daze and made his way over to you. 

“I–I’m sorry…” Were the first ever words he said to you and immediately he regretted it. 

“You’re fine, no need to apologize. I’m sorry I couldn’t greet you at the door. I have a big order I need to finish so…” Jungkook found himself staring at your lips as you talked, all he could think about was what it would feel like to kiss them. 

“I’m sorry.” He apologized again “I didn’t realize you were so busy.” 

“It’s fine, this time of the year always brings more than my regulars and I’m a major procrastinator so I always end up pretty swapped with work. What brings you to The Magic Shop?” Jungkook wondered if he should bring up why he came here considering how busy you were, but knew it would be weird if he didn’t mention it.

“My friend Taehyung suggested I come here–”

“You’re friends with Taehyung?”

“You know him?”

“Yeah, he comes over here often begging me to give him discounts.”

Jungkook suddenly wanted to take it back, the embarrassment making him want to disown him.

“I have a midterm coming up in a class that I just don’t understand. He told me you might be able to help me somehow?” Jungkook felt his face heating up, a terrible sense of shame creeping up at the need to come to you for help. What if you thought he was dumb? 

You stopped what you were doing and stared at him. He couldn’t stop his palms starting to clam up at the weight of your gaze. You probably did think he was dumb.

“I–I’m normally not like this, but my friend made me take the class and the professor’s horrible and I’ve just been so stressed I–” Jungkook suddenly spilled his whole story hoping that would make you think differently but as soon as he started he regretted it.

“Hey woah woah, calm down. No judgment here.” You giggled and somehow Jungkook’s face got warmer as he played with the ends of his blue hoodie.

“Things happen, life gets in the way, people suck. It’s all good.” You reached under the counter and grabbed a sign reading ‘Payment can vary dramatically, all costs go to the ingredients in the remedy.’ in a very spooky font.

“People tend to get shocked when I tell them the price, so I just wanted to brace you.” You said now turning your attention to typing away on the register. 

Taehyung had warned him before coming here that it was expensive, but the ominous warning made him slightly nervous. 

“So when’s your test?”

“Huh?”

“Just some basic info I need to account for pricing and to make sure it works the most effectively. So when’s the test?”

“Ummm two days from now.”

“This thursday?”

“Yep.”

You typed away.

“Height and weight...” You gently smiled as you trailed off but never asked. 

“No major health concerns?”

“None that I know of.”

“Good.” 

It was silent for a while. Jungkook, as much as he tried not to stare, you made it hard not too at the way you cutely concentrated on the screen. What was wrong with him? Maybe his conversation with Taehyung made him finally realize how alone he felt, maybe he was right and he really did need to get laid again, but the way Jungkook’s heart was pounding in his chest made him know that wasn’t it.  

“Soooooooo, do you really own this place?” Jungkook asked in a desperate attempt to talk (flirt) to you. Immediately though he realized how weird that sounded. “Not that–”

“You’re fine. Yes this place is mine– well mostly mine, my grandma technically owns the building and does all the boring paperwork for it, but I’m The Magic Shop’s one and only employee.” 

“Do you just run it for fun?” Jungkook tried to rack his brain at how this arrangement could be possible. 

“Haha, not in that way. She used to work here and then my mom did then me. We used to all work together. This place has become more like a family heirloom of sorts. My grandma eventually got too tired to come here everyday and my mom got busy with her job so it’s just me now.” You didn’t seem affected at all by this.

“You never thought about hiring anyone else?” He asked as you turned to the shelves behind you and started grabbing a couple of the small jars.

“Most don’t qualify and if they do they probably have their own shop already. I don’t mind it just being me though, I’ve been managing just fine by myself over the years. Plus saves more money to buy more high quality products.” Jungkook felt his heart nearly rip in half seeing you struggle to reach up to grab one of the jars on the highest self. You were absolutely adorable. 

“Even with classes?” At this you turned around to face Jungkook, a shocked expression on your face. “Uh– Taehyung told me you go to the same school as us!” What if you thought he was some stalker?!

“Ahhh I see, of course he did… I mean it’s hard on some days but I love my job so I don’t mind the extra work.” You smiled at him before grabbing the last jar and bringing it back over to the register. You opened them all and he was immediately hit with surprisingly pleasant scents that had a smile enveloping his face. It also hit him suddenly that he had really no idea what he was buying.

“Soooo, what’s your major?” He decided to ask instead. 

“Alternative medicine is what they officially call it.” You reached under the counter and grabbed golden measuring spoons and carefully started weighing the ingredients on your scale. “It’s basically me learning about what I kind of do already.” Jungkook nodded, the detail honestly making so much sense. 

“What about you?” You asked eventually.

“Engineering…” While most would consider this something to boast about considering at their college the program was notoriously hard to get into, all he hoped in this moment was that his very logic based major was something you didn’t detest.  

“You really are a smartie then… Alright, I’m impressed.” You smiled pushing your round glasses further up the bridge of your nose. Jungkook’s received many compliments about getting into the engineering program, hell his parents even threw a whole party when he got his acceptance letter, but your words for some reason never made him feel so proud. 

You had managed to weigh all the ingredients and put them on a cloth that you gathered.

You started to type on the register. “Ok that’ll be $50.97.” You smiled at him and Jungkook couldn’t hide the look of shock on his face. Realistically he pictured expensive being at most $20 but even he thought that was unlikely. 

You seemed to pick up on this and pointed up at a sign on the wall that read ‘All products guaranteed to work!’ also in a very spooky font.

If this was any other situation he would have just left because he didn’t want to spend 50 bucks for a scam, but he was reminded that Taehyung was paying for all this if it fails. It didn’t take much to also remember this was a case he was in fact really desperate, and well…you were just hard to say no to.

That’s how, despite his brain telling him this was such a dumb idea, he still found himself pulling out his wallet and handing you his card. 

“Alright cutie, I’ll be right back, this usually takes only 15 minutes.” You said after handing him his receipt but Jungkook stopped listening the minute you called him cute. Either you seemingly didn’t notice your words or it was something you said to everyone.

At first he was about to chalk it up to the latter and this quick crush he formed for you was his reason for looking at it like that, but as you turned around he saw you stop in your tracks before hastily making your way to the back room. 

Maybe he wasn’t reaching?

As the door opened his quick glance into the room showed him a completely different vibe then the rest of the shop. Instead of the cute small town hallmark shop that he was greeted with when he walked in, he’s almost sure he saw a room that almost looked like a dungeon. Stones lined the wall, the lighting was almost non-existent, and right before the door shut behind you he’s almost sure he spotted an actual cauldron, but he just figured that to be a Halloween decoration you never put out in the shop. 

What has he gotten himself into?

While you worked in the backroom Jungkook let himself wander around the aisles of your shop, examining the jars closely and wondering what they possibly could be used for. 

As promised it wasn’t too long before you re-emerged from the backroom and came out with a little bag and handed it to him. 

“So you can either eat it with something or smoke it if you do that type of thing. They’re not any different from each other really and take the same amount of time to come into effect. Take it later tonight and you should do well on your exam— this doesn’t work though if you know absolutely nothing, make sure to look at the material once more and you should do well Jungkook.” You smiled at him and he wanted to say something. He completely missed the fact that he never told you his name. 

“We should hang out sometime?” The words were on the tip of his tongue but all he found himself saying was a simple thank you before he was making his way back to his car. 

As soon as he left he kept cursing himself for at least not asking for your number. Was he really that out of practice at flirting? 

He possibly even had the go ahead to make a move at the way you called him cute… As soon as he was alone in his car he could have squealed at the thought, but he was immediately just filled with embarrassment. 

What if that really was your go ahead? What if he just missed his chance? 

Jungkook’s lack in game was once again so obvious and all he wondered was how he was somehow able to successfully flirt with people at a party back when he was a freshman and managed to get them to sleep with him was a mystery to him as well. Maybe it was the alcohol? 

Slightly dejected Jungkook drove back to the apartment and immediately went to open the little bag you gave him. Inside was another tiny bag that had a ribbon wrapped around it along with a card attached:

‘Good luck with your exam cutie ;)’ 

Oh.

Oh.

Jungkook felt his face flush. So he really was an idiot then?

He untied the ribbon and was again met with the scents of cinnamon. In the bag itself was a black powdery substance and he couldn’t help but wonder how this was going to help him pass his exam. Despite his doubts he decided to make himself an early dinner and sprinkled some of the magical black stuff on his chicken alfredo microwave meal.

It didn’t taste like anything but he couldn’t deny that he felt tingles through his body, but he didn’t think that it meant anything. 

Right after he went straight to his copy of the Iliad hoping whatever you gave him wouldn’t kill him and somehow his test scores would improve. 

Two days later he sat staring at the submit button for longer than he wanted to double— triple… he checked over his answers seven times before he finally felt even the slightest bit comfortable clicking submit. He probably would have kept going if the one minute warning didn’t pop up and he closed his eyes as he finally clicked the button.

Jungkook waited a solid minute. His peers that were left in the classroom were already packing up their stuff and leaving the lecture hall, but he waited, praying to every possible deity he could before he finally opened his eyes. 

He could hardly believe his eyes. 

98%

Jungkook could have cried at that very moment, he almost did but he was already getting concerned glances from his peers. 

He left the hall to Namjoon standing outside the hall waiting for him and he couldn’t help boasting to his hyung about his unbelievable score. 

When he got back to the apartment he got a lot of “I told you so”s from Taehyung which he didn’t mind but it did make him wonder what your role might have been. He couldn’t lie, the minute after he ate whatever you gave him and went back to the Iliad, a lot of the lines made a lot more sense and he could remember the countless characters in the story. 

Maybe he just had a good study day or maybe… 

It was a few days later that Jungkook finally managed to muster up the courage and return to your little shop downtown. He was running solely off of adrenaline as he made his way inside to see you. You were behind the counter like you were the first time he met you and you barely got to say hello before he was saying the words he wanted to say since he left. 

“Doyouwanttohangoutsometime?” He said it too fast and as the silence hung in the air and your confused expression seemed to grow even more bewildered that adrenaline he had when coming in started to fade. 

Did he already mess this up? 

“You want to hang out with me?” You repeated back and Jungkook was honestly confused on how you understood him. He pulled himself together and pulled out the card you had given him and tried to put back on his confident face. 

“I think you’re cute too.” Jungkook cringed at his words, quickly realizing he sounded like some middle schooler. 

“I— I ummm I wanted to ask you out on a date… or it doesn’t have to be! We could always just hang out if that’s what you prefer.” Jungkook’s face was growing warm again, embarrassed to the point he feared he may explode. 

Jungkook didn’t really know what you might say but he started turning red when you started laughing. 

“Did your exam go well?” You asked. 

“98%… I could hardly believe it…” He tried to join in on whatever the joke was but he was confused and flustered, worried he fucked this up. 

“Mmmm I’m glad… it seems like it still hasn’t worn off, you were so nervous last time. Alright, where are you taking me?” You smiled at him. 

Jungkook had no way of knowing what that could have meant at the time but all he could focus on was that somehow you agreed to go out with him despite the shitstorm his attempt was at trying to ask you out. 

⊱ ──────ஓ๑∗๑ஓ ────── ⊰

If you’re curious I finished the course with an 83%, a B, not an A like I was hoping for, but it was certainly better than what I was expecting. Y/n helped me a lot understanding our last two units and I did a lot better overall after the midterm :)

Our first date was at this cute cafe that was decorated with these beautiful plants growing everywhere we turned. Y/n said it was a bit cheesy but she ended up spending the whole time gushing about all the different plants around the cafe. We ended up spending an extra thirty minutes there going around to every catus, succulent, fern, and taking pictures so she could add them to her collection at home. It's still one of our favorite places to visit every now and again.

I’m a little embarrassed to admit we went on more “dates” than I can count. We were more like friends for a while despite being pretty obvious with our feelings. We hung out a lot after class, I helped her a lot with some of her homework, she met my friends and we would all hang out pretty often (I quickly learned she didn’t have very many, but Y/n would always make the excuse and say the people I hung with were just much cooler). 

She steadily started to work her way into my life and finally one day I mustered up the courage to make it official. 

⊱ ──────ஓ๑∗๑ஓ ────── ⊰

Jungkook and you had been hanging out at the park that day. You always said it gave you inspiration so you both tended to frequent there after your last class. You both weren’t saying too much, just admiring the view.

“Would you leave me if you were a bird?” You asked him randomly as you both were looking at the lake, a flock of birds flying over catching your attention. 

Jungkook turned to you a little confused. One of the reasons he liked you so much was simply put… you were weird, sometimes even weirder than he was and many of his friends would agree that was a bar they never thought could have been passed. 

“Mmmm no, I would just be like one of those birds pirates have. I’d live on your shoulder.” He smiled at you but your attention was still on the water in front of you both. “Why’d you ask?” 

“I don’t know… you don’t think you would feel trapped being on my shoulder? I mean you could be out flying and seeing the world, but you’re stuck being my… pet.” This was a weird question, something not entirely out of the ordinary for you to ask, but he could immediately tell by your tone you seemed a little down which was more strange.

“I’m not your pet!” Jungkook giggled, hoping to make you smile, but was still concerned about your somber mood. “I’m just a bird on your shoulder. I could fly away at any time but I like being by your side. You’re fun.” He smiled. 

“You don’t think I’m weird?” 

“No— well, maybe a little…” 

“Jungkook! That was your cue to say something romantic like ‘No Y/n you’re perfect~’” You clasped your hands together and batted your eyelashes imagining how much your heart would have melted. Gone was the sadness from your voice, but this was again just one of those cues that Jungkook had a habit of missing.

“You asked!” He tried to defend, but a gentle slap on his arm was sent his way anyway. 

“I’m trying to help you out Jungkook, we’ve been just ‘hanging out’ for months…” You sighed kicking around the dirt underneath the bench. 

It took him a minute to realize what you were implying, but as soon as he did he felt his face light up again. Things really had been on a stand still since he asked you out last semester…

Deciding not to overthink things Jungkook rested his hand on top of yours and interlaced your fingers. “Is this romantic enough for you?” He chuckled, but he was blushing. 

“No.” You said so suddenly, making his attention turn back to you. “I want to skip all the in between. This slow burn has been going on for long enough, I want you to kiss me.” Jungkook was waiting for you to start laughing but he searched your eyes and you seemed genuine, so genuine it almost hurt. 

Jungkook was operating on autopilot at that point and he started to lean in but your finger came over his lips and stopped him. 

“What if I really am too weird? What if you get scared and run away?” It was a cry that almost seemed like he wasn’t supposed to hear, a thought that had been bouncing around in your head so much you finally had to ask. Of course at the time Jungkook had no idea what you were talking about, but no matter what this ‘dark secret’ was that you were keeping from him he really didn’t care. 

This excruciating slow burn that has been happening for the last few months have been some of the best he could have experienced. He finally had a reason to come out of his room, only in a matter of a few months you had become the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up, and the very thing he falls asleep to. He loved the way you’d text him at odd hours in the night and how you’d FaceTime him to fall asleep. He loved being near you and only wanted to pull you closer anytime you were together. 

In that moment nothing you could have said would have stopped him as he wrapped his arms around you pulling you into a hug. 

“You’re my weirdo. Let’s stop playing this game… I want you.” His eyes were trained on your lips and he slowly started to lean in again. 

“Where’d this confidence come from?” You smirked and he could have exploded the minute you glanced down at his lips, the tingles running through his body could have powered a whole city. 

“I told you, I want you.” His tone was low and all he wanted to do was kiss you. 

“Is this what I think it means?” 

Jungkook was going to tell you yes, yes he wanted you to be his girlfriend but he couldn’t stand it any longer and finally closed the distance between you two. 

It was like something you would see in a movie. The setting sun in front of you, as you kissed in front of the little pond. Your lips were so soft as they moved against his own. His heart was pounding but he felt so comforted in your arms, you were so sweet, so his. 

Jungkook had no idea how it happened but somehow you found yourselves bursting through your front door of your apartment, not allowing a moment of separation. Maybe it was his fault… it probably was his fault considering how long it’s been since he’d been with someone like that, or the fact he’s never felt like that before, but in the dark he ended up tripping over your couch. You both laughed and you seized the moment, taking a seat on his lap and rode his cock till he cried. 

⊱ ──────ஓ๑∗๑ஓ ────── ⊰

Our relationship was “normal'' for about a month before I started to notice things. I had noticed things the minute we started hanging out but now that we were official, it started to become a little hard to hide them.

One of the first things I picked up was the fact she knew things I knew I had never told her before. Unlike what happened the first day we met, I would notice there would be times we were talking and she would bring up details of stories I hadn’t mentioned yet, or thoughts I had yet to tell her. At first I figured it was just me forgetting (it’s what I kept telling myself until she finally told me what was going on) but even I started to question myself when it kept happening. 

A specific incident was this one time Taehyung, Jimin, Namjoon, Y/n, and I went out to karaoke. We had played a drinking game and the loser was dared to sing at this bar we knew was hosting Karaoke night. 

Y/n was the one that had lost, we all were prepared to go up there and sing eventually but she was going to be first. None of us, but me especially, was not prepared at all when she got up to do her cover of Ariana Grande’s song Greedy, for her to sound so magical. She seemed so shy, even needing to start over because she ended up laughing, but the minute the song started a second time she blew everyone in the bar away with her voice. 

I was so consumed with trying to process the situation, figuring out a way to convince Jimin to go next because her performance made me a little too excited, and also trying to figure out the quickest way to get us out of there and back to her apartment, that I practically dismissed someone in the background telling everyone to look out the windows. I had looked and noticed that a bunch of pigeons, cats, dogs, rats, and for some reason a deer had seemingly gathered to watch her performance, but I paid it no mind when she made it back to the table because she looked so amazing up there and I enjoyed it way too much when I pulled her into my lap to let everyone in the bar know that this was my girlfriend. 

To be honest, the reason she was able to hide it for so long had a lot to do with my ignorance, a bunch of situations going over my head that might have seemed obvious to someone else.  

There was one time Y/n ended up sick. I decided to stay over at her apartment, despite her protest because I wanted to be a good boyfriend and take care of her.

Well it was weird, but everytime she sneezed this painting she kept on the wall would move completely off center. I had questioned it, but she would always say that it was the wind. It wasn’t a bad excuse because the window was open and it had been pretty windy that day. I’d move it back each time, but everytime she sneezed (I didn’t notice the pattern till later) it would move a good 70 degrees to the left. 

What was even stranger was when I went out to make her some soup I came back to find everything in complete disarray, that painting was upside down, the clothes in her drawer had flown out across the room, and the pile of stuffed animals that sat neatly on a chair in the corner had seemingly been thrown around everywhere. 

You would think I would question it but when she said it was the wind I simply closed the window and went to work trying to fix everything.

Y/n told me eventually that it got to a point where she started to feel guilty about this big secret she had yet to tell me. It was something she felt would be the deal breaker for our relationship that as time passed the harder it seemed to tell me. 

It was at the one and a half month mark of our relationship that the secret finally boiled over. 

⊱ ──────ஓ๑∗๑ஓ ────── ⊰

You and Jungkook walked hand in hand back to your apartment after a night out in the town. You both decided to head out to celebrate the school year being over and made a little date out of it. 

Jungkook just wanted to take you out to a fancy restaurant but when you both were on your way back to your apartment you passed an arcade and ended up spending way too much time and money trying to beat each other at all the games. In the end he had won and in reconciliation he tried to win you this giant stuffed bear that he noticed you had been eyeing all night. 

In one hand was Jungkook’s and the other was the bear that he worked so hard to get you. He was beaming ear to ear remembering his cool boyfriend move, the way he handed you the bear and how your eyes lit up when you snuggled it in your arms. 

That night was just so romantic. You both had walked along the path that was right by the river, the water gently washed by and the moonlight was beautifully reflecting off the water, the moon had been full and bathed you both in its soft light. Jungkook had told you that he was taking you someplace nice so he had dressed up in a suit for the occasion and you had taken hours dolling yourself up, your plum-colored, sparkly dress was immaculate, the back hanging low and a glorious slit coming up all the way to your thigh. The dress tightly hugged your curves in a way that had Jungkook constantly fantasizing about what he might do to you once you got back to your place. 

As the both of you walked and got closer to your apartment Jungkook had still been riding on the high of the date, but he started to notice how quiet you had gotten and the way you started to drag behind him. While he was holding your hand still, it almost looked like he was pulling you along instead of walking with him as you started to get slower. 

At first he wondered if you were just tired from all the walking you ended up doing, already thinking about how you would react if he offered to carry you back, but one glance behind him was enough to see your dazed and almost pained expression on your features. 

Immediately Jungkook stopped and turned to face you, extremely concerned. 

“Are you ok?” He asked gently. 

Silence passed for a little while and each second he started to become more concerned.

“No.” You mumbled. Jungkook noticed the quivering in your voice and immediately he started to panic. At that point he had never seen you cry like this before. 

What could have possibly made you so upset on what he thought was one of the greatest nights you’ve shared? He tried to rack his brain on what he might have done to make you so upset but everything he thought of just resulted in a big ERROR which made him panic even more. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” He tried to stay as calm as possible, but his words finally made the tears in your eyes spill over and he immediately felt his eyes welling up. 

You broke down right there, your sobs made him feel like he might as well have been cut in half seeing you like that. He hastily pulled you into his arms and gently caressed your hair, trying his best to soothe you but your sobs easily got to him and the tears were quick to start rolling down his cheeks as well. 

Your arms wrapped around him tightly almost as if you were pleading him not to leave you alone and hugged you tighter to hopefully let you know he would never. 

You both were standing there for a good few minutes, Jungkook trying his best to console you and you just poured out all the emotion that you had kept bottled up inside. 

Eventually you finally pulled away and looked up at him, your tear streaked face and sniffles had all new tears spilling from his eyes. 

“Ba— Y/n… please, what’s going on— what-what’s made you so upset?” He looked you in your eyes, pleading for you to tell him. Just the thought of it possibly being something he did… 

“Did—did I do something?” He finally asked.

You seemed to panic at this. “No! No Jungkook, it’s nothing that you did.” 

“What happened then?” There was a sense of relief knowing he didn’t miss up tonight, but he couldn’t hide the confusion in his voice knowing how that opened up a whole new can of worms.

“Nothing happened… or well— it’s me I guess, I happened.” You looked down at the ground, seemingly ashamed. 

“What do you mean you happened? Y/n you can tell me anything, you know that right?” He grabbed onto your hands and gently rubbed his thumb over your digits. 

“No I can’t…” You said softly, a tear occasionally running down your cheek. 

“Wha—“ 

“I have a secret that I’ve been keeping since we met… I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, but I just… I don’t think you’ll look at me the same way and—“ You hurried out, looking up at him with watery eyes. 

“Y/n what do you mean?” 

“Jungkook I really… really, really, really like you and I’ve never told someone this before and I’m just scared… scared you’ll be scared of me.” You sobbed and Jungkook was just puzzled. 

He grabbed onto your shoulders making you look up at him again. “Y/n is this the part where you tell me you’re a serial killer with twenty victims and are about to make me the twenty first?” 

He could have melted when he saw the way you cracked a smile at the joke. 

“No I’m not.” 

“No victims?”

“No.” You smiled slightly.

“Well then what you’re about to say can’t be that bad!” He reached up and caressed your cheek softly, wiping away your tears. 

“You don’t know that… I just… I don’t want you to leave me once you find out.” You gripped tightly onto his suit jacket, scared if you let go he might go running. 

“I promise I’m not leaving you because of this.”

“But you might—“ 

“Y/n please tell me so I can prove you wrong. I feel like you’re building this up too much. I’m not leaving okay? You can tell me.” He sent you a reassuring smile. 

You looked up at him, knowing you had to do this at this point. You couldn’t keep this from him any longer and you hated lying to him. 

With a deep breath you grabbed onto his hand and speedily led the both of you back to The Magic Shop. You didn’t live too far from where you both stopped so it was only a 10 minute speed walk until you were crossing the street to head into the shop.  

You hurriedly pulled out your keys and grabbed onto the golden, almost cartoonishly fancy one and pushed it into the keyhole unlocking the door and pulling you both in. 

Jungkook was confused on what this secret had to do with The Magic Shop but he still followed you as you led him to the door that went behind the counter and further back to the door that went to the back room.

At this he was honestly intrigued. Despite knowing each other for months he had never been into the back room before. Most of the time he would hang out with you in front of the counter, but occasionally especially when he came over to tutor you, you would let him sit behind the counter as you both worked through your calculus problems. 

The only inkling of what was back there was when he saw you go back there the day you both met and from what he remembers it was… interesting. 

You didn’t glance behind you as you pushed open the door to reveal the room. 

Just like he had seen that day, stone lined the walls with another door on each wall, the room was dimly lit, boxes stacked against the walls and right in the center of the room was that same golden cauldron he had sworn he had seen before the door closed behind you that day. 

“What’s this?” He asked as you brushed past it. 

“Oh, I got it for the shop for Halloween two years ago but it was too big for me to put it anywhere. I’ve been meaning to put it away but it’s heavy and I’m lazy.” You said turning around to face him and he awed realizing his first assumption was right. 

“What’s behind that door?” He pointed to the left. The door on his right clearly had a bathroom sign and you were standing by the door in front of him. 

“Oh, it’s just a storage closet, plus where I keep inventory for the shop.” He nodded. He was mainly asking questions wondering how any of this could be a hint at the big secret that made you break down like that, but he was just confused. 

He moved so he was standing with you in front of the door. 

“I’m assuming this is where the big secret is?” He asked and you nodded. You moved so you were facing him. Jungkook noticed your grip on the bear he won for you was extra tight. 

“Promise not to freak out?” You asked. 

“I promise, I’m not running away.” He smiled at you trying best to calm you down, sensing you were nervous. 

You took a deep breath before opening the door. Jungkook really didn’t know what he was expecting but a small closet with a couple of mops, brooms, and cleaning supplies was not what he was expecting was going to be the big reveal. 

He looked at you a little confused. “This is it?” He questioned. 

You shook your head.

You closed the door. “Open it again.” You commanded and moved so you were standing beside him again. 

Jungkook was confused by this but when he felt your hand snake into his and grab onto him tightly, he hurriedly did as you asked. 

Instead of the utility closet he saw before, was a room he couldn’t even recognize belonged to the same building. Jungkook slowly stepped in and tried to take in everything in the room. 

It seemed like something out of a fairytale. The room was huge, a second floor somehow fit along the side of the room, the entire wall being covered with books. A light pink cauldron with flowers covering it sat in the center of the room along with a pedestal and what seemed like a fancy book sitting on top of it. On the wall furthest to where he stood were shelves of vials filled with brightly colored liquids. 

The room was also covered in scarves, the fabrics draping along the walls, hanging from the ceiling and was wrapped around the banister on the second floor. Giant windows sat in the wall opposite to the bookshelves, the light outside so bright you couldn’t see out of them, but casted the entire room in this ethereal, heavenly glow. The room had an elegance he couldn’t quite comprehend, the regal furniture that decorated the room, the paintings as well seemed like something straight out of the renaissance. What really made this room stand out was the sparkles that shone in the sunlight and the countless amount of books and vials that were seemingly floating around the room. 

The room didn’t seem real and Jungkook’s logical brain tried to wrack how any of this was possible, how he even got here in the first place. A tad bit overwhelmed, he turned around to face you.

The sparkles that were in the air crowded around you and your soft gaze made his heart melt. You were absolutely stunning and why his brain was desperate for a why and how all he could focus on was you. This, all this, for some reason felt like he was seeing you truly for the first time. 

Jungkook walked back over to you. 

“Y/n…” His voice was soft, truly at a loss for words. 

“I’mawitch.” You hurried before you lost your confidence. 

He didn’t react the way you expected. Anytime you ever thought of bringing someone back here it always resulted in them running out here, ready to burn you on the stake, but he looked at you with so much adoration you didn’t really know what to say. 

He looked around the room, now that he was facing you, he could also see the countless amounts of brooms that lined the walls as well, but his attention quickly went back down to your eyes. 

“Are you scared?” You finally asked after he didn’t say anything. 

“This is all… it’s magic…” He asked, glancing around the room. 

You nodded slowly. “I know this might be a lot to take in right now and you probably have so many questions and I’m happy to answer any one you might—“ You didn’t get to finish before Jungkook pulled you close and kissed your lips. He was so soft and gentle and you could have screamed at how much he gave you butterflies. 

When Jungkook slowly pulled away he was shocked to find the sparkles in the room had formed together to create small butterflies flying across the room. 

“Did you…?” He looked at you. 

You nodded once again. “That kinda happens in this room… you give me butterflies.” You chuckled nervously and you felt his grip on your waist tighten. 

“Y/n I have no idea what’s going on right now and I probably will have a billion questions about this later but… this is so beautiful, seeing you like this is so beautiful.” You looked like a goddess to him with the sparkles around you and this dress shinning even more in the light. “You’re so beautiful, my mind is blanking and all I want to do is take you over there on your fancy fainting couch and—“ 

He finally stopped and let himself breathe for a second as he pulled you closer to him. “Y/n I need you so bad right now it hurts…” He could have cried, he felt the tears wanting to come up but he didn’t let them, instead he kissed you softly and peered into your eyes. 

“You’re not scared?” This was definitely not the response you were expecting. 

“Not at all, just confused and horny.” He moved down to your neck and started kissing it gently. 

Part of you wanted to cry, all your life you had expected the worst if you ever got to this stage with someone. Your mother and grandma would always tell you the only human that was allowed in your special room was the person you felt you were going to marry. Your whole life you feared people getting close and finding out this side of you, the first person outside of your family to see you truly and to see it had this type of effect on him… Jungkook, the man who gave you butterflies…

You hurriedly threw the bear you were holding onto a chair and wrapped your arms around him as he started sucking lightly on the soft skin. The room was suddenly shrouded in red and all the candles that sat around the room lit up. Jungkook noticed this and he nearly whined as he hurriedly picked you up and over to your dramatic fainting couch. He quickly got on top of you and started kissing you once more. 

“Oh my gosh you’re so fucking hot.” He couldn’t stop the whine this time as his hand felt the skin between the slit of your dress, his desperate hands squeezing your thigh. 

“I didn’t know magic would get to you like this…” You giggled as he started hiking up your dress. 

“Are you kidding? I had the biggest crush on Sailor Moon when I was younger…” Jungkook recounted as he pulled you to the edge of the couch and got off the couch and moved you so your thighs rested on his shoulders.

He wasn’t lying either, her posters were sprinkled in between all his comic book posters back in his parents house. 

He was a major fucking nerd and his nerdiest of nerd dreams was a superhero or one of the sailor moon characters swooping into his room and bringing him along on their journies as they fall in love. 

You were a dream he didn’t know was possible, come true. 

He wanted to ask so many questions, he probably was going the minute he could stop thinking with his dick for one second, but you were so cool and hot and—

He tugged down the soaked thong you were wearing, nearly tearing it off in the process. 

“I love you so much…” He confessed right then in there before he hurriedly dove in to ravage your soaking pussy.

This is the night you wholeheartedly admit to crying. You cried as he gave you more orgasms then you could remember, you cried when he came up and fucked you on your couch, you cried in his arms afterward as he was asking you about every possible detail of your life as a witch. 

It was all so… it was honestly the most magical night you ever had. 

⊱ ──────ஓ๑∗๑ஓ ────── ⊰

I won’t tell you everything she told me but I learned a lot that night. All witches are women (this was also the time how she went on a tangent about how The Magic Shop won’t have another employee unless she had a daughter one day— making my love sick ass immediately start fantasizing about the possibility) who just have more abilities than the average human. She assured me that she wasn’t evil and only practices magic in order to help people around the world. She also explained the way she practices magic. 

Most of the time she only uses her abilities to ‘enchant’ people’s orders. It was through a combination of different ingredients and her magical touch was, as she put it, the “secret sauce” to bring it to life. But Y/n also has a lot of other fun abilities. She took this time to explain a lot of weird things that have been happening in our relationship. One time when I stayed the night at her place and she was showering, she didn’t notice me sneaking in and I ended up scaring her pretty badly— well right in that moment a pipe burst. I laughed at the horrid timing but apparently that had been magic at play and I was just horrible. 

After that day in her special room we became closer than ever. Our last year of college passed and we ended up moving in together. At that point I was hardly at the apartment anymore anyway. The only times I went over there was to hang and occasionally smoke with Taehyung (but she usually came with me during those times), or to get something to bring over to her apartment so the switch wasn’t all too dramatic. 

She had ended up surprising me with a key to her place at the graduation “party” we had with our friends. I had been mainly using the spare key she had, but it was my own fancy key that was similar to The Magic Shop’s. 

I moved all my stuff out over that summer and was pretty quick settling into everything. 

The whole situation was perfect timing as the apartment she lived in was in the space right above the shop. The downtown part of our town is pretty expensive to live in but since her family owned the whole building it worked out for the better. 

I got a job a few weeks later at a software engineering company that wasn’t too far, campus also wasn’t too far and I ended up going back to school to get my masters so it was great for my schedule. 

Y/n began opening the shop Monday-Friday and it became her full time job, she wanted to take some time to establish the shop a little more before she would go back to school to begin her long journey at getting her doctorate. 

The years we’ve been living together have all been amazing, but I just wanted to conclude this post with a couple of funny anecdotes because living with a witch has been an… interesting experience. 

(He’s loved it >:D)

⊱ ──────ஓ๑∗๑ஓ ────── ⊰

Jungkook had come home a little earlier than usual. After getting off of work he checked his phone to see that his class had been canceled and headed straight home. He was excited because his weekend was finally starting after a long week and he had been missing you all day. 

You had woken him up with breakfast in bed because earlier he had called in about coming into work a little later after the fact he’d gone to bed with a bad fever. You came in there looking like an angel as you handed him pancakes and oj, saying it contained your special touch. You checked his fever and it had gone down a little in his sleep but the minute he started eating the breakfast he instantly felt a billion times better. 

He was tempted to just call in sick for work that day because after he finished you both cuddled (something he claimed was the last touch to make him feel better) and the last thing he wanted was to tear himself away from your warmth. He hated when the alarm went off to tell him to get ready but he had an important class to go to after work and he knew he wouldn’t go out later if he stayed. 

In the end he found himself at his desk for a few less hours than normal as he spent the day texting you occasionally to tell you how much he missed you. 

That important class that forced him out of bed earlier ended up canceled and as much as he would have enjoyed that free day he could have had, he was also happy to still have that sick day. 

So he went home after stopping to grab a little desert for you both at that plant cafe.

As Jungkook opened the door he was a tad bit disappointed to not find you anywhere, but he quickly figured you must be in your special room. 

He had learned soon after you told him about this secret side of yourself that there was actually a door you used to get to the room upstairs in your apartment. It had been a door you kept locked and beforehand always just told him it led to a storage room, but he was quick to learn that it was a way to get there without going downstairs to the shop. Ever since Jungkook moved in you always kept the door ‘unlocked’ so he could come in at any time. 

Jungkook knocked slightly before pushing open the door. Usually you would be there working on some type of order for your clients, who typically were other witches or firm believers in alternative medicine. 

Sometimes he was a little shocked at how many clients you would typically get considering if they weren’t a witch no one would know that your products really work the way they say they do. 

The Magic Shop had made a name for itself though, after your grandma founded the business and your mother ran the shop for a little while, the name had spread across town. There were apparently a lot more witches in the town than he originally thought and the shop had a loyal fan base of people who preferred alternative medicine and a bunch of curious people who would stop by to check out the place. Not to mention all of the witches who would stop by for ingredients or ready-made enchantments. As a result you sometimes seemed more swamped with work than he was. Considering he had a full time job and still went to school, Jungkook would often come home to find you busy preparing orders long after he was ready to turn in for the night. 

He was expecting to see you with your big round glasses looking into that fancy book with the cauldron glowing like he usually might, what he didn’t expect was a sight straight out of a horror movie.  

The typical bright room was dark and your cauldron was spilling this ominous red smoke that settled at the bottom of the room. If that wasn’t bad, right in front of him was a glowing symbol on the floor and right in the middle of it was you, hovering in the center of it. Your pupils were gone and you had this terrifying ghostly appearance that Jungkook had never seen before that had him instantly reacting. 

“Y/n!” He practically screamed, fully believing something went wrong and something bad was happening. 

At his voice you quite dramatically dropped to the floor, all the eerie ambience being sucked back into your cauldron. 

Jungkook quickly ran over to you, terrified at what might have happened. 

He picked you up and his panic only got worse when he saw your eyes were closed. 

“Y/n! Y/n wake up please!” He was so panicked and almost on the verge of tears but your eyes started to flutter open.

“Ow…” You groaned, your back sore from the fall. 

“Y/n, are you ok?” He asked, concerned. What he didn’t expect though was your annoyed glare at him. 

“Jungkook, why'd you need to scream? I was almost done with the ritual too…” you sighed. 

He looked at you confused and it was only then that you realized how surprised he probably was at the sight. You were still annoyed though, that took you nearly all day to do. 

“I was doing a ritual… I wasn’t possessed or anything. I was trying to increase our chances at winning tonight’s lottery, the prize reached 500 million dollars.” You could still taste the margarita you were gonna have on your private island if you and Jungkook won. 

Jungkook awed and almost looked like a kicked puppy when he realized he interrupted you doing something important. 

“I’m sorry…” He whispered and you hated seeing him so sad. 

“It’s alright… no need to panic though next time you walk in to see something like this. Rituals are a bit… strange but I’m fine, don’t worry baby.” You grabbed ahold of his hand and smiled at him. 

“Can I make it up to you?” He asked, and you could tell he still felt bad. “I don’t have 500 million to give you but—“

“Gimme a daughter, at least maybe with an extra set of hands I can retire to that private island quicker.” You were both joking and being completely serious. You expected him to laugh with you, but you noticed his face getting red. 

“For now though you can just give me a massage. I hurt my back when I fell.” He pepped up at your request and grabbed your hand to lead you both back to the bedroom. 

“Y/n…” Jungkook called you as you closed the door to your special room behind you.

“Yesss?” 

He suddenly turned around to face you. “I promise you won’t have to work as hard some day… I’ll make sure of it.” His words were sweet but there was a fire in his eyes that made a shiver run down your spine. 

You knew exactly what he meant by that.

◎══════ ❈ ══════◎

Jungkook was hanging out with you in your special room on a Saturday he had no work to do. Normally, he liked to give you your privacy whenever you worked here, but he was bored and you said it was fine to watch. 

Not too much had happened while he was there, you had mostly been reading in your fancy book— you explained earlier that most of the time you’re just researching and experimenting with different spells and enchantments. Your cauldron glowed slightly as you stirred the mysterious liquid inside, each time you tossed in a new ingredient small little fireworks would shoot out. 

The whole process you feared would bore him, telling Jungkook occasionally that he could leave whenever he got bored, but he continued to sit on one of your fancy bar stools by the cauldron, entranced and completely fascinated by your work. 

A while ago, soon after you showed him the room he finally asked you where all your fancy furniture came from, to which you explained that it had always been here. Apparently the room is tied with your abilities. 

You told him that witches undergo a special ceremony when they turn 13 that allows them to open their own room, which then unlocks a majority of their magical abilities, young witches only are able to do so much until they are ready to open their room. The room was created around you essentially and it’s looked like this ever since you opened it for the first time, besides a majority of the books you had bought over the years along with the brooms you’ve collected. 

Jungkook just stared at you as you worked, finding this whole thing still a bit unreal that he was dating you. He couldn’t help reminding you every few minutes on how cool you were whenever you would toss in a new ingredient or when you emptied a beaker you would toss it up and it would float back over to your shelf, and how sexy it was to watch you work. The sparkles that shined around the room flocked to you and made you shine so prettily and your look of concentration was incredibly endearing to watch. You made his heart melt without even doing much. 

The fact you liked him back was something he found a little hard to believe at times, seeing how extraordinary your world was and then looking at his own… extremely ordinary world. 

To make matters worse he knew that you were a hot topic in the community, a young witch as pretty as you were who ran a successful shop by herself was something all the witches would talk about, especially the families who had warlocks in their family. Yes, they exist, it is pretty rare to have a guy get passed down the spark that witches would have, but it happens very very occasionally under special conditions that no one has managed to figure out yet and two apparently lived in your little town. 

One Jungkook had never met before and you never really talked about too much, but the other, his twin, was someone Jungkook knew frequented the shop often. He’s seen it first hand, even when he was standing right beside you helping you out downstairs, Victor (ew >.<) would just walk in and hit on you. Jungkook even knew there were others outside the town who knew about you and would come by hoping to come by and win your heart. 

You had also told him that a lot of people would have jumped on the opportunity to date a warlock, they were rare, powerful, had a lot of influence, and your future kids together would be extremely powerful with both magical parents. Victor wasn’t a bad looking guy, he’s someone a lot of your witchy friends often swooned over. He was just a little older than you both, him and his brother graduating the same year as Taehyung did, the three of them somehow knowing each other (Taehyung not sensing drama, made sure to add when Jungkook was ranting to him that he “loved those guys” and “that they threw awesome parties”). His family was also pretty well off owning another successful magic shop. 

Victor wasn’t even a bad guy, he was just very adamant about dating you. You’ve told him he’s someone who's highly respected in the community. 

All of these details made him so confused on how, despite the opportunity, you still picked him. He tried not to think about it too much because he knew that mentality would make him incredibly insecure and jealous, that being a clear recipe for disaster in a relationship, but watching you here right now made him think about it sometimes. 

What if you were better off with Victor? (I want Jungkookie >:O)

Jungkook’s eyes widened when he suddenly felt your arms wrap around his shoulders. You lightly kissed his neck. 

“You okay? I’m sensing a whole lot of negative energy over here…” You chuckled lightly, but you seemed worried. 

Jungkook didn’t say anything and spun around in his barstool so he was facing you. He rested his hands on your waist and pulled you close so he could kiss you. You were a little surprised, but happily melted into it, enjoying the way his lips moved against yours. When he pulled away he pulled you close once more into a hug and rested his head on your shoulder. 

“Thinking things I don’t want to…” He sighed. 

“Wanna talk about it?” You asked, now really concerned.

“No— it's not that big of a deal, feel better already hugging you like this.” He really did, holding you like this made any of those silly thoughts go away. You picked him at the end of the day and he wanted you to keep picking him everyday. Just the thought of not being able to be with you like this was enough to fuel him into wanting to go over to Victor’s fancy ass mansion and punch him in the face the minute he opened the door and tell him to actually fuck off. 

You loved him, your family loved him, his family loved you, all the people whose opinions really matter approved of your relationship. Who fucking cares about stupid Victor?

“You sure?” You reaffirmed. 

“Yeah, sorry for disturbing you.” He apologized when he looked back over at the bubbling mixture in your cauldron. 

“It’s fine, things weren’t going well anyway.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I can’t figure out how to make it not result in someone spontaneously combusting— I think I put too much Yvetris in it or—“ You rambled.

“Wait what?” 

“Don’t worry about it, I was just going to ask if you wanted to take a break?” You smiled at him, a little tired of working. 

Oh?

Jungkook eagerly nodded already a few ideas about what to do during this break, the main one involved you bent over one of these tables, naked and screaming his name, because fuck Victor. 

You smiled but then your attention turned behind him and he turned around to see you were looking at your wall full of brooms. Your eyes lit up at an idea. 

You ran past him and over to the wall. 

“Do you actually ride those?” He questioned, always a little unsure of what they were up there for. 

“What did you think I did with them?” You laughed, searching for the right one. 

“I don’t know, I thought they were all replacements for that broom.” He pointed over to the one that was sweeping beside him and it swiftly came up and hit him. 

“Ow!” He groaned, rubbing his head as the broom almost sassily went back to sweeping. 

“Now you offended him!” You sighed, turning around and looking at them both. You knew your broom did not forgive easily. 

“Sorry…” He looked back at the broom as it flew up to sweep on the second floor. 

“You didn’t know— but no, he’s a different kind of broom.” You chuckled, going back to looking through your collection. 

He honestly should have figured, the broom that would always sweep around your special room was a lot more plain compared to the brooms that lined your wall. The handle being made of a ridgid dark wood, and the gray bristles was something he always pictured a witch’s broom to look like. The ones on your walls came in all kinds of varieties, they all seemed to sparkle the same way you did in here, some were made of white wood, dark wood, some sparkled of gold, and the engravings into them were unreal. 

“Which one?” You turned back and asked. 

Jungkook pointed at the one that he deemed a classic, a beautiful dark wood with light strips running through it and golden bristles coming out the back. The engravings are what made him love it, the indicate swirls and patterns completed it so well, he always found himself staring at that one in particular whenever he was in here.  

You smiled at him and he watched as the broom flew down into your hand. 

“Where’d you get all of them?” Jungkook asked as you walked back over to him. 

“I pretty much bought most of them. I’m a big fan of collecting brooms as you can probably tell. I used to compete in tournaments when I was in high school and the prizes often were these really cool brooms and it kinda inspired me to start collecting them.” You giggled. 

“Wait… tournaments?” 

“Yeah there’s this team that we have here and we compete against other nearby towns, sometimes even on a national scale, and there was once we made it to the world league. I don’t mean to brag, but I’m pretty good and won a lot.” You pointed over to the corner where you kept all your trophies and medals, sitting on top of the case was your bear that he won you a few years ago. 

“Why does my girlfriend keep getting cooler and cooler?” Jungkook wanted to say something about Quidditch, but he couldn’t think about his joke anymore… 

“Stoopppp, now, cmon, let’s go for a late night ride~” You turned the broom to the side and Jungkook watched as handlebars and a long bench appeared on top. 

“Holy shit…” Jungkook awed as he got up from the bar stool. He felt like he was dreaming, high, or maybe even both. Then again, he’s felt this way ever since you showed him this part of your life. 

You hopped on top so you were straddling the bench and grabbed onto the handles. You ushered him over and told him to hold on tight. It was only when he sat down did he realize you were already floating. 

You smiled back at him before the broom started flying up to the circular, stained glass window that was at the top of the wall of windows. Jungkook held onto you tight like you advised, laughing and cheering as he watched you both rise higher off the ground. 

Jungkook then turned his attention to the circular window and how it disappeared before you both quickly flew through, sparkles coming flying out with you. Jungkook had no idea what he thought the outside of this room led to, but he was shocked to see you both flying high above in the sky, the clouds far down below and the moon, full, big, and beautiful shining over your little town. 

Jungkook just stared down and around at the amazing view, unable to believe what he was seeing. 

This had to be a dream. 

“No one can see us! I’ll fly us a little lower!” You yelled over the wind quickly rushing past. Jungkook hardly had any time to prepare before you both were soaring downward straight for the town down below, all he could do was hold on and watch as the ground got closer. 

He was screaming, was he terrified? A little, but he loved things like this and he was excited because he trusted you. 

The buildings steadily got closer till he could make out the cars and which buildings were which. Over there was the river you both walked along the day you told him you were a witch, he could also see downtown, and way in the distance the park he had finally asked you to be his. Jungkook was so into admiring everything he hardly realized that you were still heading straight for the ground. 

It was only when the buildings started getting a little too close did he start noticing the ground was right there. Jungkook felt his life flash before his eyes when you finally pulled up and started zooming past the cars rushing by. 

You turned around and chuckled at the look on his face and he was quick to join in, now too caught up at how cool this was. You flew them through traffic, through a tunnel, and you were beating the speeds of the train that was beside you. It was an unreal experience and even though he nearly had a couple of heart attacks, the whole experience was bewildering as you flew across the little town. 

After the initial excitement you both flew over places that took you down memory lane, you essentially gave Jungkook a glorified tour of the town since he didn’t grow up here and didn’t go to too many places when he was in college. You flew him over the spots you would frequent when you were younger and showed him some of the prettiest sights he had ever seen as you both went over the woods and the lake he didn’t even know existed. 

It was also then that Jungkook noticed a few other witches riding by on their brooms, soaring just a little over all of the buildings. 

It was amazing. 

You both were now back over the clouds, cruising along as Jungkook held onto you tightly. Not out of fear, or the fact that he was supposed to, but he just didn’t want to let you go. 

He really didn’t. He never would. 

“Y/n…” Jungkook mumbled into your shirt. 

“Mhmmm~” 

“I love you so much…” He confessed and he felt the tears welling up slightly in his eyes. “Don’t leave me okay?” He tried to laugh it off. 

In an instant your broom stopped. Jungkook looked around a little confused, until you flipped around so you were facing him. 

“I should be saying that to you idiot…” You looked at him a little concerned. “Like it’s you who’s the one walking around with that pretty face, and who looks a little too good in the suits you wear all the time for work. You have all these girls drooling over you every time we go out, or should I mention Vanessa from work who always calls you even on the weekends. What if you think one day I’m too weird or something and leave me. You have so many better options…” You pouted and Jungkook could hardly believe what he was hearing. 

“Weird? Y/n you’re the coolest person I know, no one could ever compare to you. Sometimes I think you’ll find me too boring and run away with Victor, or his brother, or one of the other warlocks who keep coming to the shop… How could I ever think you’re weird– like with who else could I do this with–” 

“Well–”

“Just you ok, and fuck Vanessa and fuck Victor and everyone else who made us think like this.” Jungkook smiled at you and you hurriedly pulled him into your arms. 

Yep, he was yours and you were his.

“Not to ruin the moment or anything, but I think I heard you call me pretty and say I look really nice in suits.” He cheesed, thinking back to it. You simply nodded as you buried your face in his shirt, already regretting confessing one of your deepest darkest secrets.

“You’re cute~” He laughed, feeling all fuzzy inside seeing you like this. All in the moment, once again, his insecurities were washed away. You really were his. 

“By the way, I think you’re prettier.” He smiled and immediately you lifted your head, taking offense to that. 

“Jungko–” Before you could finish, he pulled you close as he pressed his lips onto yours once more, not wanting this to turn into a long debate, because to him, there was none. He was right.

◎══════ ❈ ══════◎

Back in college, when people would first meet Jungkook there were only two ways first impressions went for him. One, he’s been told that they thought he was probably some arrogant frat boy jock (always soccer for some reason) because they would always see him at the gym. Two, the minute they talked to him they would quickly get that he’s just this quiet nerd who could talk about why Spider-Man was the best superhero for 5 hours straight (really longer if you didn’t stop him). 

For some reason that impression came with the image of being a goody two shoes and whenever he told people he lived with Taehyung they could hardly believe it. ‘You guys are just so different’ was something they would say that always confused him. Jungkook was strange, he knew that, but his hyung and him always got along so well. They were weird in their own ways, but their personalities contrasted each other perfectly. 

Jungkook was just someone who spent way too much time studying and reading comic books all day, basically locking himself in his room, and Taehyung was just… Taehyung was someone everyone seemed drawn to. 

Jungkook was the slightly awkward guy who hung out on the sidelines and made sure to keep his hyung in check and Taehyung would always be there to bring him out of his shell and give him advice when needed.

It was this same idea that whenever Taehyung brought people over to smoke at their apartment that when Jungkook asked to join them, he would always get quite a few shocked looks. You were also on the list of people who were surprised when he brought you over for the first time to find his bong covered with Marvel stickers, sitting on top of one of his shelves.

It wasn’t like he smoked often, he really only did it when he was stressed, but he was in college and an engineer major so that might seem a little contradictory. After he graduated though and moved out from the apartment he pretty much quit cold turkey. Taehyung didn’t live in the same town anymore and he was way too busy (and a little lazy) to try and go out and get it himself. That really wasn’t it though, he was literally dating someone who had a stash of it for the shop downstairs. He more so just considered that phase of his life pretty much over, adulting duties were more so a priority. 

But sometimes… on rare occasions when work and classes were just too much he found himself asking you for help and you’d let him take a bit from your stash downstairs. 

It was one of those occasions that day. Jungkook had been taking hits from his bong and was just laid out on the couch playing some music. It was the weekend and he had a pretty big assignment due on Monday. It was the first time in the past two weeks that he just relaxed and stopped thinking about the deadline. The assignment was done, he just needed to look it over a couple more times before submitting. 

Well, whenever Jungkook smoked he would always suffer from a horrible case of the munchies and so eventually he found the energy to roll himself off the couch and head to the fridge. 

You were downstairs busy running the shop and Jungkook was way too high to notice he grabbed something off the top shelf. You had told him when he started coming over often that you used the top shelf for in progress orders or ones that would require refrigerating. In this case it was neither, rather something you were trying out for the shop. 

Jungkook learned the hard way never to go in the fridge while he was high because after he heated up the tasty looking muffins and took a bite he experienced something he could only describe as the most embarrassing day of his life. 

You had come back upstairs later that evening and you were shocked to not find your boyfriend inside, and the lights were all off. You convinced yourself he just stepped out for a moment, seeing that his bong and lighter were still on the coffee table in the living room, but the minute you went behind the counter of your kitchen you knew immediately something had happened. You were quick to find out what. 

His clothes were strewn around the floor and an opened container with a top you recognized was for the shop was at the scene of the crime. Nearly scaring you to death was a voice coming from above you. You looked up and screamed, shocked… or rather not shocked at all to find your boyfriend on the ceiling staring down at you. 

“Y/n look!” Jungkook exclaimed as he started to climb around on the ceiling. 

Oh great…

“Jungkook what–”

“Y/n, look, I think– I think I’m spiderman!” He beamed as he crawled into the corner. You couldn’t stop the dumbfounded look on your face at his words. 

“Baby, you ate my–”

“I was but a humble guy living in a small college town when a radioactive spider came one night and bit me in my sleep. I woke up with–”

“Jungkook, get down from there!” You interrupted knowing he was about to give you a weird rendition of spider man's origin story. You know, you’ve heard it only a million times. 

“Y/n, I’m spiderman now I gotta go protect the world I can’t come down!” He tried to defend and you were tempted to laugh but decided against it. You would definitely bring this up in the future. 

“No you're not, you ate my enchanted muffins I didn’t perfect yet.” You called out as he started climbing across your walls. In truth the only thing your muffins did at that point was make him able to stick to the walls. You could tell from his eyes alone he was still very high.

High, naked, and on enchanted muffins was a horrible combination.

“I’m spiderman Y/n, look at my suit.” You had no idea what he was seeing, all you saw was a naked man with his dick hanging over your head three feet above you, climbing around on your walls. 

“Jungkook get down here!” You sighed.

“Y/n my suit–”

“If you’re talking about that birthday suit, then yeah I see that. Now come down here.” You crossed your arm.

“The Green Goblin is coming! I gotta save the world!” He was not at all listening to you. 

There was nothing you could do about this. He was just really high and because this was an intermediate stage on an enchantment you didn’t have the “cure” researched already. Besides, with work in progress spells they all wear off by midnight and it was 9:37. 

In the end you ended up spending two hours and twenty-three minutes running around your apartment, picking up all the shit he was knocking down and making sure he didn’t hurt himself. 

When midnight hit you luckily was able to guide him so he was over the couch when he fell down quite dramatically on the cushiony surface. Somehow you were able to guide him to the bed a little later. 

Let’s just say, when he woke up the next morning, he was confused, embarrassed, and you had enough pictures and videos to haunt him for a lifetime.

Safe to say Jungkook learned to be more cautious when picking things from the fridge.

⊱ ──────ஓ๑∗๑ஓ ────── ⊰

I feel like as I wrote this, it turned more so into our love story essentially. I have so many other stories I could have told, but these were just a few that came to mind first. I hope you all enjoyed reading! You can make up your mind whether any of this is real or not. For all you know I could be a guy living in his parents basement with way too much of an imagination or by the end of this you might be fully convinced my girlfriend’s sitting beside me right now helping me write this post. 

Whatever you believe this was made for fun and for your entertainment. 

Anyway, that’s it from me! 

JK

⊱ ──────ஓ๑∗๑ஓ ────── ⊰

You glanced over his shoulder as he typed the end of the post. “You’re not gonna do the other story?” You couldn’t help the giggle as you watched his face turn red.

“No, why would I write about that…” He said bashfully, already knowing what story you were referring to. It followed up the third little story, and all he could think back to was how embarrassing it was. It was definitely not appropriate for a post like this.

“Mmmm good idea… you were a mess but… even you yourself said that it was kinda hot.” You recounted back to his words.

“I mean…” It was hot, extremely. Jungkook was embarrassed about that day in particular because it was no exaggeration… he was a mess, but the event encouraged you to make a modified version and you both would bring it out on special occasions. 

It was the day you finally decided to get another fridge.

⊱ ──────ஓ๑∗๑ஓ ────── ⊰

Jungkook never thought he’d be one of those guys who’d own one of those big comfy chairs. He’d always picture guys in their 40s with too many stains on their wife beaters who would just never get up from them. 

You both had been out shopping for a new couch when you passed by a little nursery model room and you stopped to admire how the pretty oak set was. Jungkook wanted to take a seat on the rocking chair that came with it just to imagine what it might feel like one day, but ended up nearly falling asleep right then and there as you went off and looked at the other model rooms. 

You had shaken him awake eventually and that’s pretty much the moment he fell in love with comfy chairs. You finally made it to where the couches were and as you both were trying to deliberate on which one you’d buy Jungkook took a seat on a cloud— or at least he thought it was one. The soft fabric made it perfect and it had that right amount of squishy to hard softness that made it so he never wanted to get up again. It was almost like finding the perfect mattress. It somehow got better when he found out there was a massage feature. 

Jungkook had gone on about the quality of the chair with no intention of buying it. You both came for a couch anyway, but it was only two months later on his birthday that Jungkook came home to find the same chair in your living room with a big bow on top. 

Every time he would come home and sit down in his little slice of heaven, suddenly his increasing age became even more obvious, at the ripe old age of 25 he felt ancient at this point. Maybe he was just having a quarter life crisis, but he felt like an old man anytime he would recline his feet up and fall asleep to a random channel on the tv. He was happy though. 

It was this coziness that had him falling asleep in the chair after he came back home from a long day of work. He remembered you vaguely trying to wake him up and get him to come to bed, but ultimately your attempts were in vain. He was just too tired and the chair was too cozy. Instead you gently draped a blanket on top of him and he was out for the rest of the night.  

Jungkook got up that morning, confused, and with sleep still weighing on him heavily. He should have learned the first time never to go in the fridge when he’s out of it, but the minute he woke up he found himself craving waffles like his life depended on it. 

Before he went to work yesterday you had been in the kitchen, humming along beautifully to your favorite song, as you were testing out your new waffle maker. If Jungkook wasn’t in a rush he would have stayed for breakfast, they smelled so good and he was hungry. He had been thinking about them ever since he left that morning, even dreaming about you… the waffles… and a lot of whipped cream. 

Jungkook just hoped and prayed there were leftovers still and low and behold, there were some. He was too sleepy and hellbent on eating the waffles that he once again ignored that they were on the top shelf. To be fair, waffles had never been something you did for the shop and the other shelves were crowded, so he just tried to convince himself that you had set them there because of the lack of room. 

In the moment before it all went… wrong… Jungkook fucked up them waffles. They were as delicious as he had been thinking, which wasn’t a surprise, everything you made was absolutely amazing. Maybe if he hadn't slathered them up with syrup, whipped cream, and an assortment of different fruits, he would have noticed the magical tingling that came with eating your enchanted foods. Maybe he did all along but just chose to ignore it because those waffles were so damn good. 

Jungkook even ended up making a few more for himself and for you when you woke up. As the sun started to rise, the better Jungkook started to feel. It was a glorious Saturday. 

You had come out right as he was taking out the last waffle, looking absolutely beautiful. Jungkook felt his heart swell as you walked over to him, taking a minute to appreciate how amazing his life was. 

“What’s all this?” You smiled at him as you wrapped your arms around his waist. 

“I really wanted waffles.” He giggled. “I made you some as well~” He pointed over to the plate. 

You squeezed him a little tighter.  “Someone’s in a good mood today~” You lightly pressed kisses on his neck and he shivered. Suddenly all he could think about was the way you were covered in whipped cream in his dream. 

Jungkook nearly whined when you pulled away, tempted to ruin this peaceful Saturday morning by licking whipped cream off your titties. 

You turned around and opened up the fridge to get the oj. He was really going to ask you but the reality came crashing down of what he had just done. 

“Hey, Y/n how do feel about whipped cream—“ 

“Jungkook… wait, where did the waffles go that were in here?” You asked concerned, distinctly remembering they were there last night, right on the top shelf. 

“Oh those? I ate the leftovers from yesterday first— I know mine won’t be as good as yours but I thought—“ 

“Jungkook…” You sighed, immediately knowing this was going to be bad. You looked at him and he seemed confused and you wondered how this could happen again, especially after what happened the last time he ate something from the top shelf.

“Jungkook, that was an order for a client. I thought we’ve been through this, the top shelf is for the shop.” You were both a little frustrated you would have to make the order again and a little concerned with the fact he ate all of them… 

You saw the weight of your words hit him in the face and any ill feelings you had disappeared for a moment because you knew he genuinely didn’t know. 

“I ate them about an hour ago…. nothing’s happened.” He looked at you with pleading eyes that this wasn’t going to turn out like what happened the last time. 

“You can relax, you won’t go all Spider-Man this time.” 

“Don’t tell me I’m going to turn into like a goldfish or something…” You couldn’t tell whether he was joking or not but you laughed anyway. 

“No, you won’t turn into anything— glad you didn’t eat the quesadilla beside it because we might be having a whole other conversation—“ 

“Y/n, what’s going to happen?” He exclaimed. You looked at him sensing the panic and took a deep breath because this was going to be a weird conversation. 

“It’s nothing too bad um… The order was for a guy and his wife who are trying to have a baby. They came to the shop hoping for some fertility help so um…” You stared at him knowing this was about to get awkward. 

“You might feel extra horny is the main thing it does, just don’t cum because it’s going to make it even worse. So if you can make it to midnight without any touching or anything it won’t be too bad.” You tried to smile at him, but you couldn’t because of one glaring detail. 

There were three waffles you made for the order. You had designed them so both the guy and his wife would take one each and possibly split the last one for another time. You hadn’t researched what might happen if one person ate all three.

“Then again Jungkook, things might not be as manageable since you ate all three of them. Just take it easy today, ok baby.” You ushered him over to his comfy chair and took up serving for the both of you. 

Jungkook tried to pay attention to his food, but as soon as you told him that the waffles he ate earlier were enchanted it was as if all the effects started hitting him all at once. 

When you came over to bring his plate he couldn’t tear his attention away from your legs. You were wearing a baggy shirt, something he knew was the only thing you were wearing. Maybe he was just thinking about it too much but he couldn’t stop staring at you, even when you went back over to the dining table. 

He tried to turn back around but even when he started eating all he could picture was your legs and covering your body with whipped cream. How nice would it to lick it off your body. He thought about the look on your face and all those pretty sounds you’d make, you’d be so sweet for him… so, so sweet. 

There was no denying he was hot… but as the minutes ticked away and you both ate, the more that normal level of need seemed to spiral. 

It got almost unbearable so quickly, he was sweating and had every urge to do the one thing that you said not to. He wanted to get up and take you right there on the dining table. As much as he wanted to play with the whipped cream that would have to wait for another time because he wanted you so badly. 

“Hey Jungkook, you ok?” He heard your voice cut through the fog. He wanted to hear what you would sound like with his cock inside you. 

“Erm— um, just getting a bit hot.” Jungkook tried to chuckle, but he was very much trying to downplay it. All he could think about was finally giving you the daughter you always wanted.

“I don’t know… are you sure? You seem a bit shaky over there…” You asked, a little concerned. He knew you’d feel so nice, you always feel so nice for him. So nice and all his.

It was starting to hurt.

“Y/n, can you put the whipped cream away…” Jungkook asked as calmly as he could.

“Whhyyy?” You questioned his odd request. 

“It’s making me think things—“ His voice was straining just even mentioning the white, fluffy substance. 

You got up and hurriedly put it away. “Jungkook you got this, ok? All you gotta do is make it to midnight tonight.” Your words were meant to be comforting but he could have burst into tears.

He had to manage this until tonight and it was— 10:38 in the morning?! It already hurt so much, how was he going to not do anything till then??!!!

It was probably only about 10 minutes later that it got to the point of being unbearable. He hurriedly slipped away and headed straight for the bathroom, a little ashamed for you to see him like this.

As soon as the door closed behind him he took a deep breath, knowing what he was about to do. Jungkook hardly managed to withstand an hour of the waffles effects. Usually he was so much better at restraining himself, but, but, but—

Before he could think about it anymore Jungkook slipped his thumbs underneath the waistband of his pajama pants and slowly pulled them down until his cock popped out, hissing at the way it slapped his stomach.

Immediately his mind thought back to all the times you were on your knees for him, the way you always knew how to make him a mess for you. Jungkook thought back to that time he was in this exact position, his back against the bathroom door and you on your knees pleasing him so well. 

The minute his hand wrapped around his aching length, a sigh of relief slipped passed his lips at the instant satisfaction he felt. Jungkook hadn’t touched himself like this since before you started dating, it’s been so long but it’s never felt this good before. 

The minute his hand started to move, the more the relief came and again he so desperately wished you were here in front of him. He got back to the routine that kept him sane throughout his sex drought in college. 

He thought about your legs again and how easy it would be to take off that shirt and have you bare and needy for him. 

“Fuck…” He sighed into the echoey bathroom. What he would do if you were here.

The thought alone had his hand speeding up and a feeling he knew he had to stay away from settling in the pit of his stomach. 

All he needed to do was not cum. That’s all he had to do.

He kept telling himself that but it just felt so good, he couldn’t stop despite the fact he was going to cum soon.

The way you look up at him when you’re on his knees, like you wanted him just as much of a mess as he is now.

“No, no, no…” Jungkook cried. It pained him, but he slowed his pace to something a little more comfortable so he wouldn’t explode. He shouldn’t give in that easily. 

Jungkook hurriedly scrambled to think of the most unsexy thing possible. Normally he would have a go-to thing for times he feared cumming too quickly, but maybe it was the enchantment, his mind was blank besides the most unholy thoughts on what he wanted to do with you.

The way you would do this…

He imagined your hands in place the way you would stroke him before focusing on the tip, something that would always have him crying out and closer than he wanted to admit. Jungkook matched your movements and he wasn’t surprised to notice the amount of pre-cum leaking from the tip. You were making him such a mess and you weren’t even here.  

“Ennggg— fuck, Y/n…” He moaned out softly as his thumb rubbed over the the slit, just like the way you would do it. Just like when you’re in front of him, Jungkook quickly felt himself heading straight for the edge. 

He was just so sensitive, this fucking enchantment, why did this have to happen today of all days? He already woke up eager to play with you today, and his fucking whipped cream plans had to be canceled. 

Jungkook already had a plan of convincing you. He would have grabbed the can after he told you he was interested and sprayed it in the spot on your neck he knew made you weak for him and licked it right off of you. In his dream earlier this morning you were intrigued and somehow he convinced you to let him lick it off of you… everywhere.

Just the fact that you were here made it hard to resist going out there and asking you to help him. He wanted you so bad. 

That was apparently the last straw because his hurried pace returned and he was so so fucking close. 

In his mind he quickly tried to go through the mental gymnastics to justify giving in and cumming now, but he knew you said it would only get worse if he did. As tempted as he was, and he was so close, he still found himself letting go, despite how much he wanted to. 

How was he going to make it through this day? 

After a little while the feeling dissipated and Jungkook felt considerably more hot and bothered than before and he couldn’t stop his hand wrapping around his length once more.

There wasn’t any way he could do this…

•─────✧─────•

It took a little while for you to realize that Jungkook was gone for so long. You had been still enjoying your waffles and got lost in thought thinking about some of the things you needed to do at the shop today. It really wasn’t much, just a few clients coming in to pick up their orders and you needed to check inventory. Well, that’s all you would have to do if Jungkook hadn’t eaten the waffles, you have to redo the order. Luckily the couple wouldn’t be coming till tomorrow, but this was something you wanted done and in the shop since they were picking up their stuff early in the morning.

You sighed getting up and going ahead and doing the dishes from your waffle feast. You also decided to try and be a little productive and go ahead and get a head start on working on the enchantment again so you can head to the shop downstairs. 

You headed over to your bedroom and that’s when it finally hit you that Jungkook had disappeared for a while. You wouldn’t think much of it, thinking he might have maybe been in the shower and he liked to take long showers for some reason, but all it took was a second of you standing still to hear the watering wasn’t running, but the sound of a soft moan from the other side. 

Your whole body lit ablaze at the thought, knowing the sight on the other side of the door would be absolutely otherworldly, but you reminded yourself of the situation. 

You went over and knocked on the door. “Jungkook…” You called out. 

“Ughhh—— yes…” His voice was soft but you could hear the strain. 

“Jungkook, what are you doing?” You asked, but you knew. 

“Y/n… it hurts… wanna cum so bad—“ He whined and once again you wished you were on the other side of this door.

“I told you that’s not gonna help. It’ll make things worse and it seems like it’s pretty bad already.” You tried to reassure, but you knew that wouldn’t help. Jungkook’s usually pretty good at not giving into temptation, the fact that the effects of the waffles has him a mess this much already made you a little concerned. This was bad. 

Silence passed for a while, but through the door you could hear his labored breaths on the other side. 

“Y/n, I want you so bad— fuck…” He moaned, almost like an invitation for you to open the door. “Please… please… I’m not gonna make it till midnight.” He begged and it took everything for you not to open the door. 

“You know we can’t do that… I promise at midnight if you want to, we can have some fun.” You tried to give him hope, but once again you knew you probably weren’t helping. 

Silence passed again, except his moans were a little louder this time. 

“Hey Jungkook…” 

“Ye— yeah?” 

“Why are you in there? It’s just me out here, you know?” You chuckled lightly, but you were curious. 

“I’m a mess, this is so embarrassing…” He sighed and you could hardly believe he thought that. 

“What do you mean embarrassing? You sound so hot just here from the other side of the door.” You smirked, oh what you would have paid to watch. 

“You wanna watch me?” He almost sounded baffled at the idea and you could have laughed. 

“So badly baby, I bet you look so pretty. I’ve never seen you touch yourself, wanna see how you do it.” You were hot, and you thought he would tease you for it but suddenly on the other side you heard his moans get more pained and desperate. 

“Y/n, stop-stop talking! Fuck, you’re gonna make me—“ He cried.

“But you won't, right?” You quickly interjected and you heard him cry out before he started to calm down. Oh, he’s so hot.

“You didn’t cum right?” You asked eventually. 

“No, but I almost did— we really shouldn’t be talking like this…” Jungkook sighed.

“Yeah, you’re right…” Stupid fucking waffles… 

“Did you need to come in here, sorry if I—“ 

“No! You’re fine, just was about to change so I can head to the shop in a bit.” You almost forgot why you were even in here. 

“Yeah… we can’t keep talking, oh my gosh—“ At his words you finally realized the implications of your own. 

“Just the thought of me naked makes—“ 

“Y/n! Please…” He pleaded, you were getting him so riled up so easily. This wasn’t good at all. 

“Sorryyy~” You chuckled, finding a little too much amusement at the situation. “Anyway, I’ll be in and out. Don’t pay me any mind and again… try not to do anything. Don’t give into the temptation, alright~” 

“You make it sound so easy, but alright please be quick.” 

“Promise, I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me!” 

You kept your promise and you were in and out of the room quickly. Your brain was a little scrambled from what happened, but you remembered you had another order to reprepare so you got yourself to focus and started back on it. 

You went straight to work, taking some of the elements out of your special room and preparing the ingredients for later. Typical fertility enchantments didn’t take too long but you always wanted the best experience for your customers and the guy and his wife were high payers. You made sure to throw in everything that would guarantee that after they ate the waffles they would finally get that positive test plus have a great time doing it. 

E. Pasos— was a powerful ingredient that really helped increase sexual desire so they would have the urge to do it more = higher chances of it working. 

L. Umtra— was the nasty ingredient that was really biting Jungkook’s ass right now. It added a little more onto this effect, making it so each “round” would only increase the desire, the passion, added once again to increase activity = higher chances of it working. 

F. Earo— is typically the most popular ingredient when making fertility enchantments. It’s a general ingredient that makes their bodies more suitable for conception, the effects are most easily seen in males— increasing sperm count and producing healthier sperm. 

P. Omer— was a fun one you threw in, it increases sensitivity and pleasure felt during the experience. So many times have you heard couples who’ve been trying for kids forever does sex start to become a chore, and your heart was soft for the pleading couple after they told you they had been trying for 4 years, so you threw in some extra spice to make the day they try this out a wonderful experience. 

U. Haqo— was another fun one you threw in that increased oragasm quality.

There was also a bunch of base ingredients for enchantments and others that were a little more technical that essentially go into the enchantment actually working. All the ingredients took a while to prepare and make sure they were perfect before you could add your special touch, that brought the enchantment to life, turning the ingredients from well… ingredients into the magic that you would cook into the waffles again, a request from the clients themselves. 

Some find the process incredibly tedious, your mom did when she worked at the shop, but you found it all calming. Work stressed you out more often than not, but you loved it so much. 

You were happily humming along to that song that’s been stuck in your head for the last week as you plucked off the leaves of R. Tinbi, one of those base ingredients for the enchantment. You had managed to get most of the ingredients prepared, now only left with the simple ones, when suddenly you heard footsteps. 

You didn’t even look up to know Jungkook had finally made his way out of the bathroom and was making his way over to you at the island. You really didn’t think much of it, almost forgetting about the whole predicament once again, but when he finally came into your peripheral you were instantly reminded. 

You finally turned your head to see him hunched over the countertop, his baggy short sleeved shirt that had a picture of Iron Man on it was long gone, and his red, plaid pajama pants haphazardly clung onto his tiny waist. That very prominent v-line that always made your mouth water was on display and suddenly you forgot what you were doing. 

You tried not to stare though, not wanting to make things any harder for him. You went back to plucking off the leaves. 

“P-Please tell me you’re working on a way to fix this…” He sighed, leaning over the counter a little more. It was also then that you realized his hair was a little wet and you noticed the shininess to his skin. 

“Baby you know if there was any way to fix this other than letting it take its course then I would help you… it would take longer than the time left to research—“ You suddenly heard his hand hit the counter before you saw him walk over to you from around the island. 

You watched as he got closer till he was standing right in front of you, you stared at him wide eyed, confused about what he was doing. 

He looked down at you with pleading eyes, his hand coming up and grabbing onto your waist, and you knew what he wanted. You wanted to tell him this wasn’t a good idea, but you couldn’t deny him when you felt him lift you onto the counter, you didn’t want to either. 

Jungkook looked at you with so much need, you could feel it too, how much pain this enchantment has caused and how much you wanted to help him. You felt tingles run through your entire body when his hand came up and caressed your bare thigh, making you instantly open your legs wider so he could be even closer. 

No time left was spared as Jungkook hastily pulled you close smashing his lips onto yours. He was hungry, desperate and he made sure you could feel it, kissing you with such ferocity you could hardly keep up. His hand had snaked up to cup your cheek to keep you close, even taking a second to breathe seemed hard. 

You were also sent the painful reminder that your boyfriend never wore underwear when he was home. Jungkook eagerly chased your hips, you both falling into a clumsy rhythm that made your whole body burn each time he whined softly into your mouth. 

You felt his hands hurriedly reach in between you and he fumbled with the button before he hurriedly pulled the zipper down on your shorts. Your hands ran up his toned arms, feeling the ink that over the years started to decorate his right arm, running up over his shoulder to tangle in his long dark hair. You tugged on that lightly, knowing how much he normally enjoys that and you were rewarded with a beautiful moan that was swallowed into the kiss. 

It was then that you started to feel the tug on your shorts. The angle was awkward since you were sitting on the countertop, it made them hard to pull down without separating long enough for you to try and wiggle out of them. 

At the challenge Jungkook broke away, clearly frustrated at the stupid barrier. 

“Why shorts, why did you have to wear fucking shorts…” He whined, still trying to feel you the best he could and he found it so difficult to stop long enough to make more of an effort to try and get your shorts off. 

The moment apart finally gave you that clarity you needed to realize what you both were about to do. 

“Jungkook, wait, we can’t do this…” You were sad, and you wanted so much to have him like this, but you knew things would only get worse if you continued. You didn’t want to see him in any more pain. 

“No… please… please Y/n, I feel like I’m going to explode.” The desperation in his voice made it harder to deny him. “I can’t make it to midnight, I can’t, I can’t—“ 

“But you’ll just end up feeling worse, plus I have things I need to do—“ You suddenly felt his hand move from your waist and reach between you both once again as he buried his head in your shoulder. 

You looked between you both and a whole new wave of tingles spread through your body as you watched your boyfriend tug down his pajama pants slightly and pull out his cock. 

Oh my g—

“You said you wanted to watch…” He shakily breathed out as his hand wrapped around his length, pumping himself slowly. 

It felt almost wrong to bear witness to such a glorious sight. Even with your shadows in the way you were reminded how beautiful your boyfriends cock was, the tip red and angry, that vein that you loved to lick ran along the side, and pre-cum was just oozing from the tip. To see that along with his pretty ass tattooed hand wrapped around was almost too much.

“Mmmm, oh— fuck, wanna cum so bad.” He said moaning into your skin. 

Knowing you could have a guy as beautiful as Jungkook such a mess and all for you made you want to give in so bad. 

You relished in his soft curses, the way he would moan, and the shaky breathes he would let out each time he would make it to the tip. The scene was lewd, and so much hotter than you could have ever imagined. 

You were in a trance at the sight until you felt his lips on your skin, kissing lightly until he reached that spot. You sighed and pulled him closer. Was this enchantment contagious? Maybe it was your boyfriend working his own magic like he always finds a way to? Whatever it was, was working on you too well. Oh, you wanted him so bad. 

You wrapped your legs around his waist and wrapped your arms around his neck, easily grabbing onto his hair and pulling it just the way he likes. He whined and rutted into you, so sensitive. 

You tilted his head so your lips were right by his ear. 

“Is this what you want?” You whispered softly and you got the most glorious moan out of him.

“Oh g—“ You didn’t give him time at all to finish before you were sucking hard on his neck. You felt his hand come up on your waist, both trying to pull your shorts down and pulling you closer to him, while he rocked his hips into you. 

“Close— Y/n please I’m so close—“ He whined, getting even more desperate at tugging at your shorts. You certainly felt it too, his quickened pace and started to get a little more inconsistent, desperate. 

You took the opportunity and pushed him away slightly. 

“N-No, please please!” He cried as you hopped off the countertop but you were quick at pushing him so he hit the counter across from where you were. He watched you wide eyed as you slowly walked over to him till you were standing only inches away. 

You took a moment to admire the view, giving him a once over at how much of a mess he truly had become. His skin glistened even more, his lips were shiny, and his hair was all frazzled and in his face. Oh how much you wish you could absolutely devour him. 

“You seriously don’t think you can make it to midnight?” You tried to look him in the eyes but his cock was right there. 

He shook his head. “I can take anything, your pussy, your mouth, fuck, I’ll be good if you let me squeeze your boob at this point.” You couldn’t help but giggle at that last part. 

“You don’t care that it might come back even worse?” You asked again, getting a little closer. 

“All I care about is now and you standing right in front of me, I could give a fuck about what happens 5 minutes from now.” Jungkook grabbed onto your waist hoping you won’t leave him. 

“Wellll…” You backed away and turned back to the island, grabbing onto the R. Tinbi leaves. “Someone ate my order today so I’m a little busy but—“ You leaned against the counter and arched your back in a way you knew made your ass look great. 

Jungkook quickly took the hint and grabbed onto your waist already rubbing himself against the rough fabric. 

“You’re perfect…” he sighed, grabbing a fistful of your ass and using his other hand to pull your hips back against his. You moaned lightly trying to focus on the leaves, but Jungkook was quick at making that task impossible. 

“You should see yourself, so fucking hot and mine.” His voice was already shaky again. He was so right, you knew deep down in your heart from the moment he first saw your special room there would be no one else, no one could make you feel as good as he did. 

Dazed and with your attention still on the leaves you felt his hand snake around and slipped down your panties, quickly finding your clit. 

“Oh fuck! Jungkook—“ You whined when he started rubbing your clit. You really weren’t expecting him to touch you at all, but leave it to your boyfriend, even in a state like this, to still try to make sure you felt good too. 

“Shit, you’re so wet for me baby… You like seeing me like this?” Jungkook was trying to tease you but he was so fucking turned on right now saying it out loud just made things worse. He had been so worried about embarrassing himself in front of you, but hearing, feeling you were turned on by his situation was more than he could take. 

Your moans were enough to make rational thinking seem impossible, suddenly the goal of getting your shorts down your legs seemed like it would take too much time and his brain just wasn’t working anymore. 

In a haste Jungkook did the most highschool thing he probably could have done in that moment, lining himself up before pushing himself right between your thighs. Jungkook’s face burned from how embarrassing this was, but he could care less right now. 

“I’m— so sorry, I can’t— I’m sorry—“ He moaned as he started literally fucking your thighs, his pace not holding back at all. 

You were a little confused by what was happening but while his hips were quick so were his fingers, speeding up so fast any questions or witty remarks you had left your brain in an instant. 

“Oh— fuck, fuck!” You moaned.

“So good, you feel so good Y/n!” You could tell just by his voice he was getting close. Part of you was tempted to ask him once again if this was really worth it, but you felt repeating it was redundant at this point. He had already made up his mind. Instead you just squeezed your thighs a little tighter together, hoping that might help.

“Ennnggg, oh-oh my gosh—“ Jungkook hurried his head in your neck, so close he could practically taste it at this point. His pace started to falter. 

“It’s ok, it’s ok…” You tried to reassure, sensing he was holding back. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m—“ Jungkook didn’t know what he was expecting if he came, the build up was just too much he knew he would feel better if only for a little while. What he wasn’t expecting, never would have expected was, as the ropes of cum started to shoot out, the most earth shattering orgasm he had ever experienced. 

As that wave of pleasure washed over him, he swore he transcended to the 10th dimension. He couldn’t speak, scream, moan, the pleasure too much, it was as if time stopped for a few seconds. The sensations were so intense, it felt like it lasted forever, a forever of bliss he couldn’t describe. It was better than a high he had experienced, a better high than he knew other drugs were capable of. It only seemed to get better as the seconds ticked away.

Part of Jungkook thought he had died, that he had transcended to a plane somewhere else, somewhere far beyond this earth. He swore he could see colors that never existed, 7:00 was purple, October was roast beef, Jupiter was a quarter. 

You were at first a little confused about what happened, he had suddenly gone almost silent except a few whimpers you felt in your skin as he steadily continued to rock his hips and how the hand gripping your waist was shaky. It was then that you remembered the U. Haqo and knew that whatever it was, was probably good. 

It was a solid few minutes before he finally came down, as the pleasure slowly faded, Jungkook was hit with another satisfying sensation, the feeling of complete normalcy.

You suddenly felt his weight shift on you completely. 

“Woah, are you ok?” You chuckled as you finally asked. 

“No… so good, feel better, but tired…” Complete sentences seemed impossible right now, that oragasm turning his brain into mush. You were luckily able to pick up on what he was trying to say.

“I bet, you ate all 3 of those—“ You had been so focused on Jungkook you had yet to actually look down, your attention finally drifting downwards when you felt something running down your leg. You weren’t prepared for the sight. What was going down your leg was the least of your worries, right there running down your island was an obvious white stream you knew wasn’t there before. 

“Holy shit, Jungkook…” You were stunned but once again you realized this was another ingredient to the enchantment at work. 

“Mmmmm?” He groaned lazily, still trying to still come back from that orgasm. 

“You came all over our island.” You laughed. 

This was enough to finally get him to lift his head and he was met with the same sight you were. Jungkook could feel the embarrassment creeping up, but his post-nut bliss was enough to keep him from freaking out about it too much. He knew this would make him scream into a pillow later though. 

“Sorry…” He sighed, gently caressing the skin where your shirt had come up slightly. 

Even with your limited Korean knowledge, you knew he had apologized. “It’s fine, it's another thing from the enchantment. I’ll worry about this, you go head to the bed. I’ll come back soon so I can put you to sleep before it comes back, hopefully you can sleep this off till midnight.” 

He nodded and slowly wobbled himself back over to your bedroom. 

You were quick to get to work knowing time was of the essence. You grabbed a towel and wiped the cum off your leg and the island, and headed straight to your room where Jungkook had already snuggled up in the blankets. 

Part of you wondered if he might go to sleep on his own, but as you got closer you noticed the pained look on his face. 

“Is it already back?” You questioned.

“Not yet, but I feel it coming.” He looked up at you. 

“Alright, hopefully this will keep you asleep till midnight, but since it’s magic vs magic, I can’t make any promises. You’ll at least be able to have a few hours with some peace.” You sat down on the bed and ran your fingers through his hair. Jungkook nodded, sleepily. 

“Wish you could stay, wanna cuddle…” He pouted and you were this close to throwing away all your responsibilities for the day away just so you could snuggle with him. 

“I do too, I’ll hop into bed with you as soon as I come back from the shop I promise.” You smiled and he did as well. It was then that you leaned down and softly kissed his cheek, you watched as his smile started to fade as his eyes quickly fluttered closed.

Oh you were so tempted. 

But nevertheless you hopped up and headed straight for the shower, even though you already took one earlier this morning, you figured you needed another after your time with Jungkook. 

You were out quickly and went back to work on getting the enchantment made as quickly as you could. You knew your clients would be coming in soon to pick up their orders and the couple called you when you got out of the shower and asked if they could pick up their order early because of a schedule change. 

Luckily most had already been done before Jungkook came in. You finally finished plucking the leaves and got the two remaining ingredients ready and carried them all into your special room for mixing. It was a good thirty minutes before the sparkly white powder was created and ready to be mixed in with the waffles. 

In no time at all (you did have a little help from your magic utensils helping you out) three hot and ready waffles were on the plate and you took them back to your special room. You closed the door behind you, waited for a second, before opening the door back up to the back room of The Magic Shop. 

It wasn’t long after you got there did you hear a knock on the door and you were delighted to see the couple peeking in through the door. You happily guided them back over to the register where you showed them the waffles wrapped up. 

“Thank you so much for doing this— this is one of our last chances at trying to do this the natural way.” The wife smiled at you. 

“I’m so glad I could help you both, hold up let me just—“ You quietly snapped your fingers making sure the waffles would stay warm until they both decided to eat them and then handed them over to them. 

“Let’s hope this works…” The husband looked over at his wife and squeezed her hand a little tighter, but then turned to you. “We have high hopes though, we heard amazing things about this place so we’re really hoping for the best.”

They were one of your many clients who knew nothing about what was actually the secret behind all of your products working so well. Part of you wished you could tell them so they would be reassured. 

“Really hoping for you both as well, I wish you guys luck.” The couple thanked you before heading back outside. 

As soon as they left you went back to your special room and started bringing out all of the other orders of people you were expecting today. You sighed looking at them all knowing you would probably be down here for a while, hoping that Jungkook would be ok upstairs. 

•─────✧─────•

The first thing Jungkook felt when he came to was pain, it didn’t hurt necessarily but there was no other word that he could describe it with. A need so desperate it almost was painful. The sun had gone down outside, a dark blue hue filling the room, and the clock on his nightstand read 8:34 when he finally looked over. 

You were right, it was so much worse. 

Jungkook was tempted to just make himself cum right now, unable to fathom how he would be able to make it nearly 4 hours. 

He couldn’t. 

This still didn’t stop him from trying his best. Jungkook gripped the blankets and shut his eyes hard, hoping maybe he could make himself go to sleep again. Only after 5 seconds he knew that wasn’t going to happen. 

He was just so— so…

Jungkook shifted his hips slightly and the fabric of his pajama pants was enough to make him lose his mind. 

Gosh, where were you? Jungkook hoped when he woke up it would be midnight (or at least close to it) and you were cuddled up in his arms like you promised. At least if he was going to fail, he’d rather do it inside you this time. 

Jungkook groaned softly thinking back to what went down in the kitchen, how nice your body felt against his, how wet you had gotten at his flustered state. If only he had enough sense to have gotten your shorts down, what he would have done if he did... 

He was tempted to run downstairs and beg you to let him fuck you, he was tempted and honestly he would have done it if he didn’t know the fact you were still downstairs meant you were working. He didn’t want to be any more of a pain than the mess he’s already caused for you. 

He really should have fucking known those waffles were for The Magic Shop, there really was no excuse for his actions other than he was hungry and didn’t care enough to realize what he was doing. 

Fuck— but he just missed you so much. He wished so badly he had opened his eyes and felt your arms wrapped around him, that when he had turned over he could have seen your smile. He would have kissed you and—

“Oh g—“ the moan got caught in his throat when he slid his hand under the waistband of his pants and hurriedly started pumping his cock. Jungkook was not at all prepared for the sensation, so intense, so fucking good he could already feel himself spiraling over the edge once again. 

In a rush he had to let go, knowing in that moment if he didn’t stop he would reach the point of no return already. 

Jungkook sat there for a second staring up at the darkened ceiling, just wondering how the hell he was going to somehow make it to midnight. If you were you— no if you were here, he would have cum already. 

He contemplated once again, heading downstairs, desperate to be inside you at this point, but being a good, respectful boyfriend mattered more no matter how horny he was. Jungkook flipped around anxiously, wondering how he was possibly going to get through this, when in the darkness your empty side made him focus on your pillow. 

No.

No. 

Jungkook, you're better than that— is what he tried to tell himself, he was screaming at himself that he was better than that, but he wasn’t, not when he felt like this. 

He finally kicked off his pajama pants and flipped over, staring at his pillow with so much shame, but that didn’t stop him as he slowly pushed the pillow further down. As soon as it was close enough, he steadily started rocking into it. 

Jungkook immediately thought of you again, when you would be here underneath him like this. Jungkook would always watch your pretty face as he thrusted into and— oh fuck, when you would moan his name and tell him how good he was making you feel. 

He hurriedly picked up the pace. “G—g, oh my g—“ 

You would always take him so well, you were so fucking perfect. He wanted to be inside you so bad right now. He missed feeling the way your walls would embrace him, you were always so fucking tight, and wet, and warm, and—

He was absolutely delusional at this point. He could see you underneath him, feel you underneath him, he could hear your moans and the way you pleaded for him to go faster. 

Gosh, he wanted to fill you up so fucking bad. 

It nearly hit him in the face when he felt himself hastily getting way too close, he had to quickly get off the pillow. 

His whole body cried and contorted, trying to get the feeling to pass. Jungkook nearly thought he was going to cum anyway, but he steadily calmed himself down. 

How the fuck is he going to make this? He knew he should stop, he knew that it would be better to wait it out than keep putting himself through this torture but he wasn’t thinking clearly at all. All he cared about was chasing that high as close as he can, until finally midnight rolled around and he could finally fucking cum. 

Jungkook got back over the pillow and rocked his hips a little slower. Maybe this might help, if he goes slow he can get the best of both worlds. A little bit of pleasure but also so he wouldn’t risk going too far. 

Jungkook moaned lightly at the feeling. This will be fine. He can go this, he can do this.

•─────✧─────•

It wasn’t until a little after 11:00 that you were finally making your way back up to the apartment. You were annoyed as hell because you pretty much worked an entire extra shift and of course today had to be the day that this happens. You had a couple of people who were picking up orders call and say they would be late, and late turned into two whole hours later, before you were finally closing the shop for good. Taking inventory also turned into a whole mess, the site where you normally get your ingredients from acted up and you were basically on the phone for a good three hours getting your order straight. And then you ended up spending an extra hour getting the shop ready for Monday, knowing you had absolutely no plans on coming in tomorrow. 

In turn, you were stuck downstairs almost all day thinking about your boyfriend upstairs. You kept hoping that the enchantment was strong enough and that he was still asleep, but like you feared as soon as you opened up the door of your special room once again you could immediately hear muffled moans. 

You hastily made your way down the hall and you honestly didn’t know what you were expecting when you rounded the corner, but you still found yourself shocked when you finally realized what you were looking at. 

The bed had basically been deconstructed, all the pillows and blankets had been thrown to the floor and the sheets were barely staying on. On your side of the bed was your boyfriend, his pajama pants were now gone. In one hand was your purple vibrator you typically kept in your nightstand, the could hear the slow, light buzzing as he slowly ran it along his cock. In the other hand he gripped hard, what you could only assume was your pillow, tightly over his face, making you instantly rush over because what the hell was he doing?! 

“Jungkook?!” You cried, ripping the pillow away. You heard him whine as you pulled it out of his hand. You were met with his wet face. You would have just chalked it up to be sweat, but noticing that his cheeks were noticeably damp making you realize he had likely been crying. 

He blinked up at you a little confused. 

“Y/n, is that really you?” His voice was a little horse. It was then that you also realized one of your lingerie sets bottoms was beside him.

You got down on your knees. “Yeah it’s me baby, I’m sorry I’m late…” You reached over and stroked his cheek. 

“Please tell me it’s 11:59…” He whined, a noticeable tear rolling down his cheek and onto your hand. 

“Almost it’s…” you looked over at the clock “11:21.” You reassured thinking that might be some sort of good news, but he just groaned and more tears spilled from his eyes. 

“How am I going to…” He quietly trailed off, not even bothering to finish. 

“Jungkook, what were you doing with a pillow on your face?” You asked, a little concerned. 

“Your pillow smells like you, missed you so much, I’m sorry.” He softly apologized and you felt instant relief knowing it wasn’t what you thought was happening. “Where were you? Thought you were gonna be here when I woke up…” He pouted. 

“I’m sorry, things kept holding me up downstairs, took me forever to make it back up. A lot’s happened though since I left.” You chuckled, pointing out how disheveled the room was. 

“It’s been so hard, you don’t even wanna know…” He sighed and it was also then that you realized he never turned your vibrator off. 

“You didn’t cum, did you?” You asked, not tearing your attention away from the way he gripped his dick with one hand and the way he ran the vibrator along it, how he shook every time he reached the tip. 

“Ennnggg— once— it was on accident, I had just woken up and… I don’t know what happened, but I ended up cumming on my pillow and—“ 

“Wait… how would you…?” Your imagination had immediately started running wild. 

“I missed you, and it’s embarrassing…” 

Jungkook had reached some of his lowest of lows today. He had fucked the crease between his girlfriend’s thighs because he couldn’t get her shorts off, and then he ended up fucking a pillow. 

It was right after he convinced himself that he was going to be able to do this. He had gotten caught up in imagining the pillow was you and he still was so sensitive from how he almost came earlier from his last attempt, but he really wasn’t ready for that wave to hit him like that. Jungkook didn’t even get a chance to try and stop it, his cum all of a sudden all over his pillow case and the shame, pleasure, and relief he felt in that moment for another earth-shattering orgasm. 

Shakily he wobbled over to the laundry room to toss it into the washer and he almost ran back to the shower and turned it on the coldest possible setting he could before hopping in, hoping it might cool him down a bit before the feeling came back. That didn’t help at all, magic being difficult like that, and that’s how he ended up stumbling out of the shower, grabbed the first thing he saw in your underwear drawer, along with your vibrator and had been here since trying his best to make it till you finally made it back. 

He’s nearly come more times than he could count at this point and just seeing you standing here next to him finally had started making things harder than ever before. 

“What time did you wake up?” You asked. 

“8:30– I’ve been edging for nearly 4 hours… feel like I’m gonna explode.” He couldn’t laugh at that anymore, because he really did feel like he actually might explode at this point— on you, fuck, he wanted you so bad. 

Your hand along his cheek sent a fire in him and this unbearable, unquenchable lust that he’s felt all day, was starting to reach a pinnacle that made his skin burn hotter than any fire. Gosh, a lust enchantment and he hasn’t been able to fuck you all day? 

To make matters worse even before the enchantment he was feeling extra needy, work this week for the both of you keeping you apart and he was looking forward to this Saturday to make up for all the lost time. 

You started noticing the look of distress on his face the more you looked at him. “Baby, you ok?”

“No—fuck, no I’m not ok. Can you leave? I don’t mean to be rude but you right beside me is making me think things, I fucking want you so… so, so, so fucking bad right now and I feel like if you stand here any longer touching my face I’m gonna cum and— it’s already so bad I don’t know if I can do this again—“ 

“What if you did?” You were still dazed staring at his pretty cock and your vibrator. 

“What?!” He sounded pissed, he was pissed, here he was begging you—

“I mean Jungkook there’s only a little over 30 minutes left of the day~ What if we take advantage of this enchantment and you can fuck my brains out or something till midnight hits.” You finally turned back to his face to see him staring at you.

“Take it as an apology for making you feel so miserable all day and… I swear watching you all day has made me so wet, so maybe we call it even and we have a little fun.” You smiled, hoping he might say yes.

He continued to just stare at you.

“We don’t have to if you’re not up for it, I know things have been hard and you might just wanna make it throu—“

“Shut up if you don’t fucking mean it.” He suddenly said, sitting up on the bed. You were a little taken aback by his harsh words, but then you realized what’s going on. 

At the position change you reached up and ran your hands over his toned thighs. “I fucking mean it baby.” You smirked up at him and you heard your boyfriend literally whimper. 

“G—god I swear I’m gonna cum if you keep talking, please— fuck, please do something, anything, I just fucking want you.” He cried and you couldn’t have been happier. 

You were about to have so much fun. 

You watched him throw your vibrator across the room and scoot to the edge of the bed. You didn’t even try and tease as you ran your hands further up his thighs. 

You watched his eyes flutter closed as you made your way closer to where he wanted you. You watched his face intently as your fingers finally wrapped around the base. 

“Mmphh— yesyesyesyes, don’t stop please.” He gasped and this fueled you to push further. 

You slowly brought your hand up closer to the tip and enjoyed the way he whimpered under your touch as precum kept leaking from the tip. 

“Does it feel good?” You laughed slightly, seeing how much he struggled to keep it together. 

“Feel like I’m gonna explode…” His brain was just spaghetti at this point, not even realizing he switched over to Korean. 

Jungkook leaned back so he couldn’t watch you, the sight was too much already and you barely had started. Instead he gripped the crumpled up sheets tight as he felt your hands run over his length. It was just so good, he wanted to cum so bad—

As much fun as this was, seeing your boyfriend like this made you so eager to please and you quickly decided it was finally time to put him out of his misery. 

After working him a little further you brought your hand up to eagerly rub over the slit as you leaned down ready to take him in your mouth. 

“Oh—fuuu—“ He was not prepared, neither were you when his orgasm hit him so suddenly. You couldn’t help but stare as you watched the bliss wash over him, the way his face cutely scrunched up, the sheets were tight in his hands, and just like what happened earlier in the kitchen, you only heard him whimper quietly, the pleasure seemingly being too much. You were so entranced, you didn’t even realize some of it landed on your face.

It took a few minutes for it to finally wash over him, and just as he was starting to come back he let go of the sheets and put his hands over his face.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” You chuckled. 

“I’m sorry— that was— I’m so confused, fucking embarrassed, but ughh that was so hot.” He finally looked down at you, seeing the white streaks on your face. 

“Oh my g— so fucking hot— Y/n please don’t stop—“ He whined impatiently. 

“You sure? You just c—“ 

“I don’t care, don’t stop…” he pleaded, needing to feel you. This night was not ending without him being inside you at least once.

You chuckled as you grabbed a tissue and cleaned your face and hand. You didn’t waste anymore time and happily took him into your mouth. 

Jungkook was not at all prepared to feel your mouth around him— for 13 hours straight he had simply made do with the best he could, his hand, your thighs, a pillow, your vibrator on the lowest setting possible— they were fine and some even managed to push him over the edge. Maybe it had been so long since he felt your touch or this enchantment was absolutely insane because the minute you wrapped your pretty lips around his cock and started taking him… he was not at all prepared. You would have thought he had never been touched before in his life at how quickly he felt he could cum again, that feeling returning instantaneously.

His hand quickly went down to tangle in your hair as you pushed down as much as you could. He made the awful mistake of sitting up, wanting to look at you, but it just made things so much worse, seeing the way you were staring up at him as you took him so well. 

“You’re so good to me…” He sighed and he didn’t realize he said that out loud until he noticed you giggle as you came off him. 

“Is it that good? I’ve barely done anything yet.” You chuckled. 

“Mhmmm, go slow, don’t wanna cum too soon.” He pleaded. He wanted to savor every moment of this and this enchantment made it so all he wanted to do was cum down your throat.

Not yet though.

You nodded before going back down and swirling your tongue around the tip. You went slow like you promised and this was enough to get a frustrated whine from him. 

“Y/n— don’t do this to me please.” He looked down at you and you couldn’t help that wave of need travel through your body, making you squeeze your thighs together. Maybe on another day you would have teased him for longer, but you finally took him in your mouth as far as you could go. 

As you pulled back and went back down again, you enjoyed his soft sighs of pleasure he would let out occasionally, and by the look on his face you could tell you were doing well.

You brought your hand up to softly run over his thigh before wrapping around his length as stroking what you couldn’t take. At the combo, you relished in the moan he let out as his grip in your hair tightened. He looked so pretty like this, all you wanted to do was please him, so you steadily sped up your pace anticipating seeing that look of just pure euphoria wash over him once more. 

You were hellbent on getting him to cum in your mouth and you knew he was close, you could tell by his moans getting more desperate, and how he subtly held your head down making sure you wouldn’t leave. You were waiting for the moment, so close, but as you were sure he was right about to cum suddenly you felt him pull you off. 

You looked up at him confused as you saw him try and calm himself down. What was going on? Isn’t this what he wanted? 

You were not left confused for long as Jungkook shakily got up, you at eye level with his cock, shiny from your antics as precum leaked from the tip. You felt his hand cup your chin forcing you to look up at him. 

Jungkook was staring down at you, his lip tucked between his teeth as he ran his thumb over your bottom lip. 

“So fucking pretty…” He sighed as he looked at your delicate features staring up at him. So fucking pretty and you were all his. He wanted to absolutely ruin you.

“Wanna fuck your mouth baby~” He said so softly, his tone almost not matching at all with what he was asking. You felt his thumb reach into your mouth slightly to open your mouth a little wider. 

Your attention went back down to his cock right in front of your face, the way his tattooed hand came up and started stroking it slowly as he moved a little closer to your mouth. Your whole body ached with need, wanting this man inside you immediately. 

“Is that ok?” He shakily asked. 

Instead of responding, you nodded your head slowly leaning in a little closer so your lips brushed against the tip. You enjoyed the whimper you got out of him as a result. 

“Eeeehh— Open your mouth— I mean open your mouth please, fuck!” Jungkook moaned and you instantly followed his command and he moved his hand so it was resting on your head and he guided you straight to his cock as you slowly took him. 

“Ohhhh, yes, yes, yes…” He sighed the minute he saw the last inch disappear into your mouth. You could feel his hand on your head start to shake lightly, and you could only figure he must be close.

Jungkook slowly pulled his hips back before shakily thrusting back in. He was trying to be gentle but your mouth and this fucking enchantment made that almost impossible. 

You felt so good around him and the way you were looking at him as he stared down into your eyes… he was so close. 

He sped up slightly. 

That sensation quickly returned, the overwhelming feeling quickly boiled over into a blinding white light, so so good. He had to force his eyes to stay open as he watched himself cum in your mouth. He wanted to see. 

You let him recover before pulling off eventually. 

Jungkook didn’t let the peace carry on for long before he was pulling you onto your feet and even quicker were you pressed against the dresser behind you as Jungkook kissed you hungrily. 

“You— you sure you want to keep going?” You asked in between his kisses. You were honestly baffled he hadn’t collapsed yet, but that enchantment was all to thank for that. 

“Yes— can’t stop.” He really couldn’t, this enchantment already having that craving back faster than ever and with an intensity that he couldn’t imagine as somehow worse. Jungkook wasn’t done yet with you at all, this was still just the beginning. 

He made the point clear by pulling you back with him so you both fell back on the bed. Jungkook didn’t waste any time as he wrapped your legs around his waist and he was hurriedly leaning over so he could kiss you. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him even closer. You wanted him and you knew you were just on the cusp of feeling him inside you. You got even more excited when you felt him tugging on your shorts. 

“Are you serious?!” Jungkook exclaimed as he struggled to get them down once again. They were just comfy shorts you threw on, hoping these might be a little easier to deal with than your jean shorts from earlier, but it seems you thought wrong.

Jungkook got frustrated and instead focused on pulling up your shirt and helped you get it over your head and you unclipped your bra and threw it across the room. You didn’t think too much of it, ready to finally get naked and busy, that is until you noticed his gaze locked on your chest.

You were about to question him, but his hand quickly came up and started massaging the softness. Oh. 

You moaned softly as his thumb flicked over the nipple before leaning forward a little more and sucking it. You were a bit taken aback by his actions, but Jungkook’s eager mouth was quick at pulling you back in the moment. 

“Can’t wait to see you covered with whipped cream.” He mumbled softly, but his eyes weren’t on yours. You honestly had no idea what he was talking about or if he was speaking to you or your boobs? 

“Baby, what are you talking about?” You chuckled slightly, running your hands through his soft hair. 

“Our plans for tomorrow, wish they were for now but— ughh— Y/n, need you please.” His gaze finally met your own and he made sure to accentuate with a firm thrust. 

You were about to say something when you felt his hand travel down your body again and tug on your short strings. You hoped this time he would manage to get them down your legs, but you could sense the growing frustration at the fact he couldn’t even untie the little bow you made. 

“Why?! Why can’t I—?!” The more he pulled the worse the knot he had created got tighter, this enchantment seemingly making his brain all scrambled. 

As funny as it was to watch, you were more eager for what was going to happen next so you pushed him away slightly so you could finally shimmy your shorts down your legs. 

Jungkook looked at you thankful for the help and his whole body seemingly cried when your shorts and panties were gone and flung across the room. Seeing you naked, fuck, he’s wanted you like this all day. As much as he wanted to feel you around him, Jungkook was more interested in pleasing you. 

You expected him to get back on top but he laid back over on your side and started ushering you over on top of him. 

“What’s this about?” You wondered. 

“Sit on my face.” He was blunt but the enchantment allowed for nothing more. You were a little shocked once again he was still finding it in him to take care of you when he’s like this, but were you really? This was Jungkook you’re talking about, the guy who thrives on your pleasure. 

You laughed slightly, but quickly obeyed his wish and moved so you were hovering over his mouth. 

You gripped your headboard tight when you felt his hands come up to stroke your thighs as you slowly lowered yourself over his mouth, worried about squishing his head. Jungkook was quick at pushing those worries aside as he pulled you down to eagerly start lapping between your drenched folds. 

You weren’t at all prepared, your back arching and a moan escaping your lips before you could stop it. 

Even in a state like this Jungkook made sure to remind you he knew your body well after years spent together. 

“Jungkook— fuck, fuck yes—“ You groaned when he used his tongue to circle your clit, occasionally sucking on it. Your whole body was on fire, if someone was watching they might have also thought you had eaten some of the enchanted waffles along with him at how desperate you seemed.  

Truth is, you missed, you missed him so much. You had missed him all week, long hours keeping you both apart even before enchantment came into effect. You missed him all day today, you were stuck downstairs as you thought about what might have happened if you had opened the bathroom earlier, what if Jungkook had fucked you on the counter, what if you agreed to stay in bed with him. All of the possibility was dwarfed by how hot you were thinking about what actually happened. Trapped downstairs on the phone with the fifth tech support person trying to help you with your order, all you could think about was your boyfriend’s pretty ass cock and how much you wanted to be pounded into oblivion right then and there for the guy on the phone to hear. 

You’ve been hot all day. As hard as you knew this was for Jungkook, it almost felt like you were being punished being forced to watch. 

Having him like this, below you, eating you out like his life depended on it made you so fucking hot. 

When your thighs started to get a bit shaky, you finally looked down at him a little surprised to see his dazed gaze on you. You happily took one of your hands off the head board and let them tangle into his long brown locks. 

You felt the subtle vibrations of the way he moaned. You watched as one of his hands that was gripping onto your thighs let go and hastily reached downward. Curious, you broke away from his gaze and to turn behind you and you felt a whole new fire light inside you at the sight of him hurriedly pumping his cock. 

You quickly turned back down to him and noticed his eyes had glossed over, this whole thing apparently getting to him more than you thought. 

Oh.

Suddenly you were back in the moment and was painfully aware of the skilled work of your boyfriend's tongue, playing with your clit, licking between your folds, and even into your hole. You knew you would cum soon at this rate. 

“Are you enjoying this that much?” You teased breathlessly, moving your hips in a way that the new angle had your grinding against the tip of his nose. Fuck.

His attention shifted back to you, albeit still dazed. 

You gripped onto his hair tighter when he didn’t answer, even though how could he with your pussy in his mouth. You watched intently as the way his eyes started rolling back. Hot. 

You weren’t in the mood for games, you just wanted to fucking cum at this point. 

“Fuck Jungkook, you’re so good to me always. Love you.” It was a hasty confession as your attention turned towards chasing the high that’s been dangled in front of you all day. 

Jungkook seemed to speed up at the praise. It didn’t take long for that built up tension to finally snap when you cried out as you experienced one of the most toe-curling, mind numbing orgasms you’ve ever had. 

Jungkook gave you no time to recover though, because even after he worked you through it and you started to lift up, he showed no signs of stopping. 

You looked down at him and he nodded up at you, needing no words to explain.

He wanted to watch again, have you cum all over his face one more time. You were so sensitive, confused at the blissful sting of overstimulation, but still extremely turned on because holy fucking shit was this hot. 

Jungkook quickly had you back to that point where that feeling was back all too soon and you were crying out once more and your orgasm hit you faster than a freight train. 

Your brain didn’t know how to comprehend what happened as you sat there for a second, letting your heart and breathing calm down. What just happened? You felt fuzzy all over, loved, comforted, and—

Jungkook’s hand suddenly fell from your thigh as you finally looked down once again. You were delighted to see the fucked out expression, his eyes were closed and you cooed internally at the way his eyelashes tickled his cheeks. He was so pretty. His brows were furrowed as the hand that had long left your thigh continued to move. That’s when you remembered what you saw last time. 

You turned around and was shocked to see the cum covering his toned stomach, but he was still harder than ever. Suddenly you were hot all over again. 

You turned back to Jungkook once more, noticing how pained his delicate expression had gotten. 

“Please, inside…” He finally opened his eyes to look up at you. You also noticed how red he seemed and you wondered if he was just hot, flushed, or was it embarrassment? Maybe all three considering? You could also see how wet his face was, you didn’t know whether that was just you or the tears that had especially collected around his eyes. 

You swung your leg over and took a seat next to him. Jungkook was quick at sitting up and turning toward you, you both just looked at each other before Jungkook got too impatient and hurriedly pulled you into a kiss. 

He was hungry, desperate, and had you breathless by the time he moved you both so you were on your back and he was slotted between your thighs, ignoring the stickiness between you. 

You moaned into the kiss when you felt the steady grind of his cock between your folds. Despite having just come (twice), you still found yourself eager to have him inside you, finally. 

Jungkook pulled away to hurriedly line himself up, ready to finally fucking finally feel you, but just as he was about to push in you remembered something. 

“Wait— Jungkook!” You called and he looked up at you, a little startled. 

“Mhmmm?” He almost sounded like he was drunk, his attention quickly turning back down to your pussy and was entranced at how wet you sounded, his eyes glued to the way his cock looked as he pushed it through the slickness of your folds. 

“Do you think we should use a condom?” You asked, a little concerned. You never typically did these days, but with this enchantment it may be better just in case. 

Jungkook was trying his best to pay attention to your words, but fuck, he was so close and you felt so good. 

“I don’t know if my birth control can go up against this enchantment.” 

“Eghhhh— I don’t mind if you think it’s better. It’s up to you.” His brain was not working, of course he had a preference and that preference was clouding any sort of logical thinking. 

“What— you don’t mind if this gets me pregnant?” You giggled at the comment. 

Jungkook's eyes returned to yours but then back down between you both. “Feel like I could give you octuplets right now.” He chuckled weakly, both trying to joke along with you but he was also incredibly serious, painfully serious.

You just laughed realizing you shouldn’t really be asking him when he’s like this. “Ohhh, that’s just the enchantment talking baby~” You smiled, somehow endeared by his words. 

“I’m serious though, whatever you want to do— but wait, we haven’t used condoms for so long I don’t even remember if I have any left.” He panicked. Just the thought of stopping now made him want to throw something out the window. He felt close already.

“Please hurry baby…” He moaned, trying his best to stay calm but this fucking enchantment was making it very hard.

You sensing the urgency decided to think about this. 

There is no way you wouldn’t end up pregnant from this if you just do nothing— or well, there’s just a great chance. Considering you weren’t enchanted by the waffles maybe that would be enough? You also had no idea anyway if you had any condoms in the room anymore. Maybe you would be fine? You could make your own remedy of sorts in the morning as well just for good measure. 

And would it really be that bad if all that fails? Sure you weren’t at that point of your life where you were ready to start having kids, but this was with Jungkook, not some random guy from a one night stand. If things didn’t go to plan, it wouldn’t be that bad. 

Your judgment was questionable though considering you were just as eager to finally feel him inside you and the way his cock slid over your clit made your mind a little fuzzy. Might you regret it in the morning, maybe, but you would solve that issue when you get there. You had a plan as well so—

“Alright— I have a plan for tomorrow, but just get inside before I lose my mi—” You were hardly able to finish your sentence before Jungkook hurriedly pushed inside you, not even making it in all the way before he buried himself in your neck and let out the most glorious moan as he came inside you.  

You were shocked but you still rubbed his back lightly, trying to help him through it. You could only imagine at this point how intense things have gotten for him, the thought turned you on and for a brief moment considered one day downing three of these waffles and seeing what happens. 

Jungkook eventually pulled away and you immediately noticed the tears that stained his face and quickly brought your hands up to wipe them. 

“Was it good?” You chuckled, but you were starting to get a tad bit concerned seeing how fucked out he was beginning to look. 

He shakily nodded his head. 

“You’re lucky I said yes.” You laughed hoping that would pep him back up back you could tell he was hardly paying any attention to what you were saying.

“S-s-sorry.” His voice was soft and you couldn’t help yourself as you brought him closer to kiss his cheek. The lights were dim in your room, but once your lips touched his skin you finally felt just how wet his face was. 

“It doesn’t hurt right?” You asked immediately as you pulled back.

He shook his head. 

“Feels too good.” He sighed as he steadily started to move his hips again. 

Jungkook was not at all prepared for what it would feel like to be inside you with this enchantment. Maybe he was so sensitive from how many times he’s cum already, or things really have escalated to a point that everything has just become so overwhelming, but the minute he started moving his hips he was rendered speechless. 

The enchantment only seemed to enhance every sensation the warm embrace your walls always gave him. It was so good, you were so good to him. Every sense of his made his brain go haywire, the way you wrapped around him, the way your hands ran along his back, the way you looked up at him as he fucked you, your expression, your eyes alone was enough to get him to cum again. 

He loved you so much. 

“Fuck.” He whispered so quietly he doubted you heard it, he couldn’t say it any louder even if he wanted to. Despite the odd circumstances and how frustrating the day has been, being here with you like this made it all worth it. 

Jungkook didn’t even realize how much his eyes had watered up until your expression started to shift to worry when you brought your hand up to wipe his face. 

“Fuck— Jungkook are you sure you’re ok?” You asked, once again concerned. 

“Mhmmmm, good, so good. Don’t wanna cum yet, wanna make you feel good too.” He cried. He was desperate to make you feel even an ounce of what he did. His pace had remained painfully slow, knowing the minute he sped up it’d be over. 

“This feels good— don’t worry baby this is about you, ok?” You smiled up at him. It was meant to be reassuring but it only made him feel worse. 

Jungkook picked up the pace and relished in your delighted moans and the sound of the bed frame creaking at your escapades. It was overwhelming, so overwhelming, that feeling, that need to fill you up once more became harder to ignore. 

He tried his best to distract himself by kissing you hastily but that only seemed to make things worse. It was just so good. 

“Oh— oh go—“ 

It felt like he was hit with a train the way his orgasm knocked him so suddenly, somehow it was even more intense than before. It felt like a fervor dream, he was delirious, and maybe it was this enchantment, but as he coated your walls with his cum there was some strange part in him that wanted all this to get you pregnant. 

It was a guilty confession that he knew he would regret later, but it’s what fueled him despite how exhausted his body felt to flip you over so you were on your hands and knees so he could do it again. 

The position gave him a great view of your ass, and he cursed to himself quietly as watched the way it’d jiggle anytime he pushed into you. 

“So—so good Jungkook…” You whined. 

“Close?” Was all he could ask and you hurriedly nodded. 

Jungkook’s hand quickly came down to smack your ass and gripped on the soft mounds hard, loving the way you moaned for him. As much as he’s enjoyed the thought about whipped cream all over your titties all day, your ass will always be his favorite. 

Jungkook felt your walls tighten around his cock and he knew you were close. 

He pulled you close so your back was against him, the new angle allowing him to fuck into you easily, while his hand went down to rub your clit and his mouth kissed your neck.

The position had him reaching spots inside you that made your mind go blank as you soon felt him fill you up once again, but he didn’t stop until you were soon cumming all over his cock. 

You were hardly able to recover before Jungkook was pulling out of you and laying down only to usher you so you were hovering over his cock. He looked up at you with pleading eyes, and it didn’t take much to figure out what he was asking from you. 

You were already starting to get a little tired and barely coming off your last orgasm you still found it in yourself to sink down onto his length once again. You felt his hands come up and grip your hips tightly as you began to slowly move. 

You also surprised yourself with the fact that you were keeping up with him, no enchantment fueling your efforts, just your love for this idiot who ate your waffles.

You marveled at his soft sighs of pleasure and how beautiful he looked. He had grown more quiet like back in the kitchen and just by the look on his face you knew things had really gotten intense. You could only imagine, you’re not even sure how many times he’s cum at this point.

“You’re so pretty baby~” You breathlessly confessed and he let out a strained moan as one of his hands moved up to play with one of your tits. For some reason you knew he was close once again.

“You’re gonna cum again for me baby?” You asked but you knew. You noticed his eyes started getting watery again, tears falling from his eyes.

“Y-yes.” He strained and you could hardly hear him.

You decided to speed up a little, not wanting to drag this out for him. You let yourself get lost in the feeling of his cock filling you up, focusing on keeping a steady rhythm. It wasn’t too long after you started losing yourself in the pleasure that you felt his grip on your hips tighten before you heard Jungkook out a moan as his eyes rolled back and you felt him fill you up once again. 

You smiled but Jungkook was quick at moving you so you laid on your side, your back against his chest before he was entering you from behind. He didn’t move for a little while and it was then that you were able to look over at his nightstand to see the time. 

11:56. 

Almost there.

Jungkook also noticed that this was finally about to come to an end and knew he wanted to make the most of it. One more time. 

Jungkook grabbed ahold of your thigh and lifted it up so your leg could rest ontop of his so he could fuck into you easier and slowly started to move. 

“One more time.” He sighed, kissing your neck.  

He wasn’t talking about himself. Four minutes at this point was enough time for cum at least twice, but he was thinking about you. He wanted– no, needed to feel you cum around his cock once more. 

Jungkook quickly found a good pace and reached around to find your clit once again. 

You moaned for him, not honestly thinking you could cum again, but Jungkook always had a way of proving you wrong because you quickly felt that growing need once again. 

It was so good, he was so good. Being close like this, his length buried deep inside, his fingers on your clit, his lips on your skin, you felt so loved and still being a little sensitive from your last orgasm you felt so close so quickly.

As much as he wanted to wait until you were closer, the way your walls were gripping made him spill into you quicker than he liked but he never faltered, speeding up instead determined to make you cum around him before midnight.

“Fuck, fuck please baby–” He pleaded and you cried. 

You were close, so fucking close. 

With a couple more thrusts you felt that blinding surge of pleasure spread through your whole body and moaned his name as he somehow gave you your fourth orgasm of the day. It hit Jungkook as well, your orgasm suddenly having him spilling into you once again. 

It was a blissful end. 

Jungkook shakily worked you both through the waves of pleasure as the clock changed to 12:00. Instead of this neverending sea of desire Jungkook had been swimming in all day, the calm silence of that relief was slowly gifted to him as well. 

You both just sat there trying to collect yourselves because– woah. Despite the circumstances this definitely was a night to remember. 

The longer you laid there the more you just wanted to head to bed but you were sweaty, covered in cum, and your room was still a mess. After a little while you finally found the motivation to pry yourself away from Jungkook’s warm embrace. When you turned around you were a little shocked, or well not that shocked, to see his eyes closed and seemingly asleep already.

You didn’t blame him, honestly surprised he didn’t fall out sooner than this. 

You were about to jump out of the bed to start your shower when you felt a hand on your wrist, stopping you. 

“Don’t leave me please…” His eyes were still closed and he sounded so drowsy. You leaned in closer and pushed the hair out of his face, the ends noticeably damp. 

“What’s that baby?”

“Don’t leave.” He looked up at you. The only thing on Jungkook’s mind was falling asleep with you in his arms.

“I don’t want to get up either, but I was just going to shower and maybe get started a little bit on all the laundry–” 

“Don’t leave.” He said once again.

You leaned down and kissed him on his forehead. “I promise to be back soon ok, you’ll probably be asleep by the time I get back anyway.” 

“But I want you with me…” He pouted. 

“You can come join me in the shower if you want.” You suggested. 

“Tirreeeedddd, can’t this wait till morning.” He sighed and you couldn’t help but giggle. He always gets really baby when he’s sleepy. 

“I’ll be back ok~” You reassured him and headed for the bathroom.

As tired as he was, unlike the last time he went to sleep, Jungkook wanted to make sure you’d be in his arms when he wakes up. Despite how everything and everywhere in his body ached, he still found himself joining you in the bathroom. 

You were shocked but found your cheeks warming when you saw him groggily walk into the bathroom to join you. 

You didn’t want to make the shower take too long, he was tired and you were as well and you had laundry to start. Jungkook was hardly awake, almost falling over a couple times as the warm water fell over you both. 

When you went to shampoo his hair and gently massaged his scalp, even in his delirious state he almost felt teary. This was so nice, you were so so good to him.

“Y/n…” He quietly got your attention. 

“Mhmm~”

“I’m sorry…” 

“What for?” You couldn’t hide your confusion at what he could possibly be apologizing for.

“I’ve been a burden all day, ate those waffles, made things hard for you. I’m sorry.” His brain was hardly working, but he’s felt bad about this all day. 

“It’s alright, I should have gotten a fridge for the shop already anyway.” You laughed. “And you haven’t been a burden alright, today was fun!” You weren’t lying, you definitely had fun today. 

Jungkook smiled and pulled you in for a hug, not wanting at all to let go. Not now, not ever. 

You both eventually made it out of the shower and the minute Jungkook got his clothes on he collapsed onto the bed, sleep becoming too much to fight at this point. You had managed to wiggle the sheets out underneath him, still being visibly damp from earlier.

You went ahead and grabbed everything else and took it to the laundry room, but after seeing how much you had to do, ultimately decided it may just be best to save it for the morning like Jungkook suggested. The shower made you sleepy so instead you went to bring out your thick blanket.

When you got to the room you were a little surprised to find Jungkook sitting up on the bed, looking half out of it. 

“I thought you fell asleep already?” You giggled as you went over to caress his cheek. 

“Mmmm, wanted you here. Can’t fall asleep yet.” He sighed, nuzzling into your hand. 

You took the hint and made quick work on tossing the blanket out over the bed, grabbing the pillows that were on the floor, and climbing into bed with your boyfriend.

As soon as you got in the bed, turned off the lights, and got you both situated he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close. It probably didn’t take even a minute before you heard his light snores and you were sure it didn’t take long after that for you to join. 

What a day.

⊱ ──────ஓ๑∗๑ஓ ────── ⊰

“You think anyone will believe this?” You asked after he clicked the post button. 

“Probably not, but that’s the point. Feels good to talk about these things though.” Jungkook smiled, his heart warm from reminiscing all day. 

You smiled and hugged him. 

“Alright, I’ve been here long enough, I have classes to get to.” You sighed, hopping up from the bed. “I’ll be back from the shop before 6 so I can do dinner today.” You kissed his cheek and was about to run off to put on your shoes, but Jungkook grabbed your hand. 

He looked down at your intertwined fingers, imagining once again that ring he saw in the shop earlier on your finger, how pretty it would look until you both got matching bands. He was feeling a little too sentimental at the thought and how much he wished it was already on your finger. 

“Ummmm, watcha doing?” You asked, noticing him staring at your hand. 

“Ermm– sorry.” He leaned down and kissed your hand. “Be back soon ok, miss you already.” He sighed, hating that you had to leave him on his day off. 

You leaned down and kissed his lips, Jungkook wholeheartedly melting into the kiss, thinking about what it might be like to kiss you like this on your wedding day. 

You pulled away with a big smile on your face. 

“Oh right! Don’t forget to take the broom over to my mom’s, he’s really been missing her these days.” 

Jungkook groaned. “You know your broom hates me, it’ll take forever just to get him out of the room.” He recounted the last time he was responsible for taking your broom out. 

“Cmoonnn you guys need some bonding time anyway, and plus my mom also wanted to see you as well so… good luck.” You said as you left the room. 

“Alright, come back soon! I’m making bulgogi tonight!” He yelled out to you and he quickly heard you running back and giving him another hug before running out the room again. 

“Bye!” You called out, before the door closed behind you, leaving Jungkook alone. 

How this was his life was still a mystery to him as well, who gets to say they need to take their girlfriend’s broom out? 

…

Who gets to say they need to take their fiance’s broom out?

…

…

Who gets to say they need to take their wife’s broom out?

Jungkook’s face flushed at the thought. Maybe this trip won’t be so bad? He had something he needed to ask your mom anyway.

⊱ ──────ஓ๑∗๑ஓ ────── ⊰

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#bts #bts smut #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic #bts fanfic #bts jungkook #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bangtan boys #bangtan sonyeondan #bts fan fiction #bts fluff #bts angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #bangtansorciere #bangtanbathhouse #bts one shot #jungkook oneshot

[starjxsung]

THIS IS SUPER LONG SORRY BUT the way how if I ever see Bang PD out on the streets IT’S ON SIGHT. I swear, everything from the disgusting way his greedy ass is trying to turn kpop into a monopoly to the way he seemingly is fine with putting even his own artists against each other and the way he’s so eager to essentially kill off kpop as it was built for years. I hate him so much.

I quite literally grew up listening to kpop. I got into SNSD at 12 years old, and my first album bought was Oh; the album where they literally created photocards. I loved watching variety shows, searching for translation to lyrics, and just immersing myself in this new culture that was so different from mine. And I was TWELVE. It boggles my mind that some suits in South Korea seem to think they need to make everything appealing to the west and basically white wash almost all the cultural identity of kpop for it to be successful. I started learning Korean at 15 because I loved kpop and the culture so much. That would have never happened if the songs were all in English and there was no culture displayed.

This little silly music genre has just been a part of my life and who I am as a person for so long, it’s a bit sad to see it at risk of dying. And not even with SKZ, because I honestly want to believe if anything 3RACHA would never allow JYP to force them into singing only soulless music (maybe I’m being too hopeful but I gotta believe lol). In the 14 years I’ve been a kpop fan, I’ve seen so many new things pop up; new types of content like SKZ Code and Going Seventeen that are basically a groups very own variety show on YouTube, lightsticks, photocards, new award and music shows, new trends like filming a challenge with fellow groups during comeback season, etc. And these are all things that enriched the kpop world so so much.

Not to mention all the things the first generation created and I just wasn’t around to see it happen. Kpop as we know it is the product of so many years of love put into it. I really hope it doesn’t die such a bland death for such asinine reasons like appealing to the west.

~🌷~

‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ wow. I literally could not have said this better myself like I wish I could just print this out and mail it to every fucking company out there (more below the cut) ✂️✂️

I grew up the complete opposite from you consuming western content SO heavily, and let me tell you, as someone who’s consumed both, kpop is such a lifestyle. It’s literally every part of my day, from the things I choose to spend my money on, every piece of decor in my apartment, the music I listen to, the stuff I write. It’s everywhere!!!! And what’s been the most appealing to me at the end of the day is being able to immerse myself in something that wasn’t just the standard western music industry I was already familiar with. I love being able to understand new traditions, new words, learn about new foods, literally every single thing I’ve consumed in the kpop sphere until now has been a learning opportunity and I love it. And the same goes for anything I consume in other cultures- I get to learn about new cultures! That is so fucking fun and it promotes this beautiful mix of cultural appreciation that is essentially why kpop got so big. For these companies to act as though people aren’t making efforts to just assimilate with Korean culture and learn about it as they consume kpop content is just offensive. I’m not asking you for English music or to take the “k” out of kpop. I’ve spent years appreciating KOREAN music and understanding the intricacies of the industry like lightsticks, photocards, etc. For them to turn around and act like we have some aversion to the Korean-ness of it is so fucking low !!!!

I would love to think skz wouldn’t be swayed into stooping that low. I didn’t think bts rapline would have done it either (though you can TELL all 3 of them disliked it sooo much). It seems like these contracts really have them on a tight leash and maybe putting out western music has just become a part of it at some point :/

I really really really echo your statement of hoping kpop doesn’t die such a bland death with the direction they’re headed in. I read an article yesterday that said knetizens have been really unhappy with the western direction of kpop lately and that it detracts from their culture and I fully agree. Like somebody argued with me on this when I said it on my instagram story and at the end of the day it just feels weird to conclude that we need to “take the k out of kpop” if you’re not Korean 😭 yeah let’s take all the Korean culture out of a Korean thing, fantastic idea !

I could rant about this foreverrrr especially the shit about Hybe having a monopoly over the industry and actively ruining their own artists’ careers (new jeans I am so sorry 💔💔) I’ve just fucking grown to HATE Hybe as a company and I think it’s so cringe to see people defending a multi-million dollar industry that monopolizes everything in kpop now, cannibalizes the careers of their artists AND works with the shittiest stakeholders ever. Every company is fucking trash now Hybe, SM, YG they’re all so fucking awful !!!!

UGHHHH your views are always so refreshing I love u so much lmao 😭😭

#🌷 anon #ask

[truthem]

Korean Learning Resources

These are my personal favorite resources that I use in order to self-study Korean!

(if a link doesn’t work pls lmk)

YouTube Channels

빅키샘Miss Vicky

Miss Vicky has helped me tremendously with learning Korean. I use her videos mainly as a review but if I don’t understand something that I get from my main learning source (I’ll get to that in a bit!), I run over to her channel, find a video regarding that topic, and she clears everything right up. Her content is so thorough and I love the way she explains things (especially grammar). She’s also a native Korean speaker, so it’s comforting to know that she’s a reliable source. (maybe Im just a bit too suspicious…)

Hailey _Your Korean Friend

Hailey is the #1 YouTuber I recommend to beginners who are struggling with 한글 (Korean writing system/“alphabet”). Her explanations are amazing and I never got bored watching her videos. I don’t use her videos as often anymore unless I want to find some quick vocab words that I want to study because her content seems to be more geared towards beginner beginners. Her 한글 lessons are fast and easy and she makes it so you’re not getting overwhelmed with information at the start. She helped me a lot with pronunciation and with 받침! (last consonant in the Korean syllable… 받침 is still lowkey my greatest enemy)

Minji Teaches Korean 민지 티치 코리안

I’ve only personally used one of her videos but she gives a lot of examples and she explains very well. Minji seems to reach out to different levels of Korean, but I mainly see beginner lessons. She also hasn’t posted in 5 months… but she’s still a great creator that I recommend checking out!

Websites

TTMIK

TTMIK is my main learning source. I feel like everyone knows about this website, but it’s genuinely such a good resource for Korean. The only downside is that it focuses on grammar and rarely gives new vocabulary so, you kind of have to go out of your way to find vocab to study, but I don’t quite mind because it means I can decide what topics I want to learn. (they do have a YouTube channel in which they post like “500 must know Korean vocab” videos) TTMIK also has pretty affordable textbooks and workbooks. I personally don’t use them because I feel like I can learn Korean fine without spending money on a textbook but if you’re one of those people who like having a physical workbook/textbook, I’ve heard excellent things about their books!

HowtostudyKorean

This website is another well known one. I don’t usually use this website because I don’t like how disorganized it is, and I don’t personally understand the explanations. They also don’t teach 존댓말 (formal language) right off the bat and I personally believe that it’s beneficial to learn 존댓말 as a beginner due to how important it is in Korean culture. However, that’s just personal beliefs and preferences. They supply a really good amount of vocab to learn in each lesson and I really appreciate that.

I think that both TTMIK and HTSK are excellent websites and it’s truly up to personal preference as to which one you use!

Apps

Quizlet

Quizlet is one of the best vocab studying apps that I’ve tried. A while ago they added a subscription which is really annoying so the only thing you can really do it’s like flash card things and matching games?? It definitely downgraded the app but I can understand 😅

Drops

Drops is a very fun app for me. It helps with vocab studying so much. You can only use it for like 5 minutes a day unless you pay for a subscription, but even those 5 minutes a day are super useful. They have different topics such as Food, Numbers, Colors, K-pop, Daily routine, etc… It has other languages, too, so if you aren’t learning Korean or are learning other languages, you can choose to use Drops in your other target language! (They currently have over 40 languages if I remember correctly)

Naver Papago - AI Translator

I know there’s a lot of stigma around translators, but Papago is a dictionary based translator. I don’t know if that’s that correct term or what not, but basically, if you type in a sentence and translate it into Korean, it not only gives you the translation but also breaks down the words used in the sentence and gives further sample sentences with those words. I find this very fun and useful, and so far, Papago has been very accurate. (Just please don’t rely on Papago or any other translator if you’re genuinely learning a language, trust me 🙏)

DeepL Translate

Unlike Papago, DeepL translates sentences like how you would say them in an actual conversation. Additionally, it adds different ways to say everything you translate. The only downside is that the app doesn’t really explain anything you see in the sentence. As I said, Papago breaks down the sentences and gives you different examples as to how to use the words, and you can see different conjugations… etc. It really depends on personal preference as to which one you wanna use, they’re both great apps.

Langblr Blogs

a pop of korean

I personally love this blog especially to review after I’ve gone over things in TTMIK and even after I watch Miss Vicky. The explanations are incredibly easy for me to understand and the examples given are really clear for me.

dreamer hangugeo

I actually just recently found this blog but I really enjoy the explanations they give, too. I’m literally always scrolling through A Pop of Korean and Dreamer Hangugeo when I need a quick refresher or if I need clearance on something. It’s definitely worth checking these blogs out if you haven’t already.

#korean langblr #langblr #korean #language #languages #study korean #korean grammar #learn korean #한국어 #한국어공부 #한글

[evilisk-played]

Games in 2022, Part 2

My procrastination problem is getting worse

= = =

Valiant Hearts: The Great War System: PS4 Genre: Sidescrolling Puzzle Game

I don’t have the words to describe how good this game is. It’s great, easily one of the best games to come out of Ubisoft. 

Colossus Down System: PS4 Genre: Beat Em Up

I have to be honest: I don’t think this is a good beat em up.

While I do respect the developer’s ambition (Colossus Down is the third game in its trilogy, stars the protagonists of the previous games and is a BEAT EM UP when the prior games were POINT AND CLICK GAMES), it’s obvious that the developers don’t usually make beat em ups because, if you’re a fan of beat em ups in general, there’s a lot that’s “different” (read: frustrating) about the way this game is designed. Someone described this as a beat em up you’d see on Newgrounds and that’s exactly it. It’ll seem fine for casuals, but it’s frustrating if you’re a hardcore fan of the genre.

My issues aren’t just with the gameplay however. The most disappointing thing about this game has to be its choice of main character. I get it, the plot is about Nika (and her developing as a character) but the problem is that Nika just isn’t that interesting. Agatha is the way better and more compelling protagonist... which makes it baffling that you can’t play as her outside of Co-Op Mode. While it makes sense with how the story is written, it is disappointing because this game wasn’t shy about showing off Agatha in its advertising. Like, the trailers and key art really seem like they’re co-leads but this is a Nika story first, with Agatha basically being a glorified bonus. 

There are some clever things about this game. But overall, the ones who will get the most out of this game are the Agatha Knife and MechaNika fans. It’s a hard sell for everybody else (especially hardcore beat em up fans)

Steven Universe: Save The Light System: PS4 Genre: JRPG (ATB-style combat)

This game is a real DIAMOND in the rough (please, please, hold your applause)

Seriously though. While this game has some serious issues (there are a LOT of bugs, ranging from harmless visual glitches to accidental sequence breaking to game crashing stuff) I kinda love this game for trying to be a big, console type RPG. I love the aesthetic, I love getting to explore locales from the actual series, and I really like the battle system (even if it’s got serious balance issues).

It bums me out that the sequel did its own thing (instead of building an improving on this game’s systems) because there’s real potential with the combat.

Steven Universe: Unleash The Light System: PS4 Genre: JRPG (Paper Mario style combat)

I don’t like this game as much as I love Save the Light, but it’s still good.

It’s 100% more polished, 100% more balanced and even features Lapis (you have no idea how upset I was at Lapis being teased but not added to STL) but... it’s hard to go from STL’s bigger, console production values to UTL (where you’re really just exploring rooms rather than a full world).

This game is easy to recommend, especially if you’re a Steven Universe fan. ESPECIALLY if you like Lapis, Peridot, Bismuth, Connie (or all four). Those characters get to do more in this game than they do in the entire show (:/)

Legal Dungeon System: PS4 Genre: Visual Novel

Legal Dungeon is a game that I am so conflicted on. On the one hand, it is an amazing critique of policing. If there was a textbook example of whatever the opposite of Copaganda is, it would be Legal Dungeon. I really can’t compliment the writing enough.

On the other hand, the game aspect of Legal Dungeon is honestly not great. Part of it might be an ineffective translation (Legal Dungeon is the product of South Korean game developers) but even if the game were translated better, I still think the gameplay would be a hard sell. You know how Ace Attorney games can be really obtuse? How, even if you’re several steps ahead of the case, sometimes you still get stuck because you have to present things in a very, very specific order? This game has that problem on STEROIDS. 

It’s unfortunate because, again, the game’s critique of policing is amazing. I don’t wanna spoil anything, but the way the game handles its main route and the alternate routes / endings is honestly kind of genius.

I think I can only recommend this game if it’s on sale. My line of reasoning is like this: I think the game should be played... but not without a guide... but if you play with a guide, this game is not even an hour long... so yeah, only get this on cheap and play it with a guide.

#valiant hearts the great war #colossus down #steven universe save the light #legal dungeon game #steven universe unleash the light #games i played #games i played in 2022

[creepybaesment]

Alright because I have to go back to sleep I'm posting my best written bits of my story. cussing ensues because burnt bastard. Also talk of depression and thoughts of death, so read with warning. oh yes and demeaning and dehumanizing things said along with a slur, abuse menton as well. I do not support the harm of people or the people who say these things. I write because that's how I feel I'll reach people the best so we have less of those people in our world.

I am not fluent in Korean so I'm sorry if it's not perfect. I'm using a translator, not google translate, and I make sure to change it back to english to make sure it makes sense. sorry it's long.

A smile graces my lips as I see people gawking, at the buildings, and train lines. Everything here looks different to them- it looks like home.

“안녕하세요 히어로즈 커미션 스쿨과 함께 하시나요?” The teacher turns around, to be greeted with an hero from here, if I remember right his hero name’s 구리. The teacher pulls out a phone, I walk up before he uses informal greetings,

“안녕하세요 학교와 함께합니다. 만나서 반갑습니다 쿠퍼씨,” I hope my mother tongue isn’t too rusty, as I bow politely. 

“청년 만나서 반갑습니다. 내가 당신을 알고 있습니까?” Oh I seem to forget I’m a clone of my mother. Heh it’s been that long.

“예, 당신은 우리 어머니와 함께 일합니다, 나는 그녀의 장남입니다”

“달빛의 자유?” he asks, Dalbich-ui Jayu, I can’t honestly remember the last time someone’s called me by my proper name. It feels so right, so gentle, like being in my mothers arms again, her voice weaving me into sleep. I can feel the smile of euphoria on my face as I say

“그래, 그래 난,” A smile shows on ˈKäpər’s face.

“네 엄마가 널 그리워했어, 아들아,” it feels nice to be called son by someone who's never hurt me.  

“나도 그녀가 그리웠어 그녀는 그녀인가?” I ask. 

“그녀는 될 것입니다 그동안 그들은 우리 언어를 알고 있습니까?” ˈKäpər asks.

“No, none at all,” I smile, I can feel Falk and Shant inching closer to me. 

“Ah that’s too bad my english is lacing,” ˈKäpər’s voice is heavy with accent, and tired boredom at the americans. It’s funny no one would ever dare talk like this to the commissions hero teachers and heroes and training, we were meant to be the best in slot are we not? There’s a hushed laugh from somewhere above. The smile on my face grows bigger. The teacher turns around, red angry.

“I will not be made a fool of Tannafinn, get right here right now, I don’t care if you're Korean or some shit, it’s informal and rude to interrupt your elder and teacher.” 

Mood swings aren’t uncommon for me, in fact they’re more than common. It's a day to day chore of making sure to not go manic while not getting myself so down I want to kill myself. So when I’m suddenly spitting in at rage my teacher, it doesn’t surprise anyone, not even ˈKäpər. He knew me when I was like seven. I was probably so much worse. I remember I was snarky, snappy, salty, and sarcastic, I can practically feel the migraine my mother always had with me around. I mean I am still those things but I’m not giving my mother the migraine anymore I’m giving it to myself.

“Well I’m sorry if I took the time out of my day to properly introduce the commission to Korea’s number two,” I snarl out, trying with all the best of my willpower to not slap him in the face. Rose, the teacher, looks at me with disgust.

“No wonder they call you a porcelain whore,” he waved his hand off. “your all looks and no bones, easy to break, useless other than for praise.” The fast suck of heat under my skin is burning, quite literally. Fire comes with every exhale I take, every fiber in my body wants him to burn alive, but that won’t sit well. I exhale again, trying to not let impulses take over common sense, it’s not going to work much longer, and Rose wants me to snap so he can prove himself right and so he could punish me, without it looking weird, he’d better be damn happy he’s rich. 

“Oh so you’re the Rose bastard, get out of here ass-hat, let us teach the kids that's what you drop ‘em off for right?” Her voice is stern, and hard, but oh god it’s home and pure happiness. Rose scuttles off scared. She lands down, and pop’s her nucleus.

“So you're the American hero traineses? You all look like a breeze could blow you across the city,” She’s well built, short and a bit stocky. Her hair has pure white streaks but a mostly dark blonde-brown red. Her smile’s wry and strong. 

“Well hello, nice to meet you. I'm Valerian, the top ranked hero in Korea and Third world wide,” I love her smile. I could see some of mine in it too, like she had given her smile to me. 

“That’s only on popularity rankings right your so short you can be that good of a hero” Her smile gets more wry. 

“You’re wrong kid, here in Korea, we don’t do polls by popularity, or salary, it’s pure raw numbers of how many we’ve saved, same for the world rankings” Blare the boy who had said that looked dumbfounded that a woman stood up to him, yeah he’s the class bully if you couldn’t tell. 

“You seem smug,” Falk pointed out.

“Oh I’m oh so very smug right now” I hear Shant talking with ˈKäpər. A few sidekicks come up and start the god forbid tour. I hate tours, the feeling gets worse when I’ve lived in the place before. I sigh a bit too hard. I double down coughing. I’m acutely aware of how everything is spinning, and I can feel more than taste the blood coming up past my lungs. I can hear people mildly panicking around me, it’s on deaf ears, I can only make out the sound of my own coughing. A few minutes later I find myself sitting on the cleared out road with, my mother, Shant, Falk and ˈKäpər checking if I’m okay. I spit out the last bit of blood coming up for now.

“엄마,” tears spark in her eyes, and she smiles, her hand reaches out and presses on the burned side of my cheek. I lean into the comfort. I dimly note that in the past at least eight years, I’ve been the one cupping someone else’s face and letting them lean on me. 

“엄마 나 또 몇살이야?” 

“열일곱” her smile’s dim and sad, and how can it not be, I’ve got less than four years of life left in my damn body. I lean into her further, breaking into a hug.

“엄마 빨리 못와서 미안해” I cry a little, it really hurts. I wish I had more time, I’ve always wished I had more time. I’m not living past twenty one, if I even make it there. It hurts me that I want to stay here and get those surgeries that will fix me a little so I can have more time. 

I want more time. More time to be loved. More time to give love. I want to be human again. I want more time so I can see all my siblings graduate and the smiles on their faces. 

I want more time to see my mom live and go. I want more time so that she doesn’t have to spend her last years in the morning. I want more time from the world to help fix it. I want more time. 

I want more time to be with Shnat seeing his eyes light up with joy. I want more time to see his face when he’s crying, I want more time to see wrinkles grow in his hands. I want more time to see his hair go gray and white. 

I want more time to see Falk’s eyes grow shiney and old. I want more time to see the day Falk can take off his shirt and love his own body. I want more time to see Falk sit up after top surgery and have a bare chest. I want more time to see my mom love again. I want more time so I can thank Cinsin for saving me. 

I want more time to see that young trans man become a hero everyone loves, and for his family to know his name Kalmiti. I want more time. I want to grow old. I want to feel loss and grief. I want to heal from that loss. I want time to see a world that has laws to keep heroes kid’s safe. I want more time. I want more time. It’s stupid really. I know it is, but can’t you help but wish for something you’ll never get? I want to get married, I want to adopt kids I can see myself in. I want to help them, so they never have to walk up to the public saying they were lying about their father shooting them. 

“Oh baby, I’m so sorry it has to be this way” I can hear that she’s crying. I look up and wipe my tears.

“Thank you momma, I‘m sorry I can’t stay longer” I’m not going to kill myself, I don’t know why I say it. Maybe it’s what both of us need to hear. That we love each other and that we don’t want the other to leave. We’re all going to die sooner or later. It just happens to be too soon for some.

#angst #creative writing #i love you so im going to give you the worst trauama and life ever writing style #gay boys #girl boss #magic and hero society

[jimatrash]

-TRANSLATION- Hanagumi Questionnaire (No. 1 Ranking in…)

Translation is from: The Takarazuka 8 Hanagumi Special.

Translation for Madoka’s part >3 

My Japanese is not the best so, sorry if there are any errors (most likely there are…). If you are willing to correct my translation, then feel free to DM me~

(*) Marks my thoughts haha.

-No. 1 In being Spicy (Food) Lovers-

1. Hoshikaze Madoka: 28 votes

2. Mikaze Maira: 7 votes

3. Kazumi Shou: 6 votes

 It was surprising to be chosen as first. I was wondering why everyone knows that I love spicy food? But they said, “You wrote about it in the Otome.” …I did write it (laughs).

 I like chili peppers, so I use Tabasco, Schichimi (Common Japanese Spice Mix that has 7 ingredients), Ichimi (Red Chili Pepper Powder), Chili Oil, and a lot more chili peppers that go well with my meals – It depends on the menu, but if it’s pasta, then Tabasco, of course. I pour a lot of it on, and while eating I say “Delicious! Spicy! Delicious!”.

But it seems like the acidity Tabasco has is so strong that if you put it on a rusty 10-Yen coin, It will become shiny… When I was a child, I was told that it would cause a hole in my stomach (laughs).

Sometimes I cook my own Sundubu (Korean Soft/Silken Tofu Stew), The ready-made ones aren’t spicy enough, so I buy ingredients to make authentic Sundubu. *That’s spicy enough for her hshs*

During performances, I try not to eat (spicy food) because I care about my throat. So, I feel like eating a lot more after the senshuuraku (Final performance) and before holidays. So, spicy rice is a reward for me (laughs).

#takarazuka #hoshikaze madoka #星風 まどか #hanagumi #translation

[kpop]

K-Pop Spotlight: Stray Kids

Stray Kids are back with their noisiest and most memorable album yet. To celebrate, we caught up with the self-producing boy group to talk about their second full album NOEASY, the new single “Thunderous,” and some of the lessons they’ve learned in the three years since their debut. Check out our full interview below!

Where did the inspiration for the album title NOEASY come from? Would you consider your Stray Kids sound to be noisy, and do you like that description?

Bang Chan: We did a little wordplay with the words “no easy” and “noisy,” meaning that in a world where things aren’t so easy, we will be noisier and noisier. I actually don’t mind people describing our music as noisy ’cause that’s what we’re trying to be. The loudest noise that everyone will remember!

Changbin: Since our title songs are typically powerful and performance-based, I’m sure some people think our music is a little noisy. With that said, some people enjoy that sort of energy. We also get energized and have fun on stage, so I think the expression “noisy” is a positive thing. The title NOEASY is a spirited response to all the noise that distracts us and gets in our way—to say that we’re not an easy match and we won’t back down.

You celebrated your third anniversary as a group earlier this year (congrats!)—what are some of the (harder) lessons you’ve learned over the years as a group that produces all of their own music?

Hyunjin: During these past three years, the things I’ve learned are the love of STAY and how to love more. Additionally, through countless performances, I think my stage skills have also improved.

HAN: I was amazed and thankful to learn that the songs I write and create can move people. I hope to continue making good music that will move more people and continue to touch their hearts!

Felix: I learned that it’s hard to reach many goals in life. However, over the past years, I’ve learned to ask for help and feedback from my members. As time goes by, we’ve strengthened our team play to overcome anything.

What’s the first song you remember loving, or what is one of your recent favorite songs?

Bang Chan: Out of Stray Kids songs? “Hellevator” because it was our first official song as Stray Kids.

Lee Know: I was told that when I was a child, I used to dance and sing along to the music on the radio that my parents would listen to. I think that’s when I first started loving music, but I can’t remember what those songs were!

Changbin: “개똥벌레” (T/N: This song translates to “Firefly” in Korean and is a nursery song.)

Hyunjin: I think my favorite song is “Secret Secret” because HAN and I share the same emotional wavelength, and the lyrics really resonated with me.

HAN: I really liked “D” by DEAN!

Felix: “Grow Up” is a song we always sang together with our STAY during our concerts and performances. This song brings back a lot of unforgettable memories for me.

Seungmin: Kim Dong Ryul’s “Drunken Truth”

I.N: My favorite song from this album is “Thunderous!”

Many of you were really into anime and exercise as your stress-relief/hobbies the last time we spoke. Tell us a little bit about what you are into these days, outside of your activities as Stray Kids.

Bang Chan: Umm, I’m still exercising daily, and these days I’ve been using Felix’s Switch to play games.

Lee Know: I either cook or go to a cafe to read a book.

Changbin: I like working out!

Hyunjin: I study art and draw. I like to have my own time of healing in my free time by watching other artists on YouTube.

HAN: I still watch anime, go on YouTube, work on music, and exercise. I think I tend to gravitate more towards things I can do at home rather than outside.

Felix: If I have the time, I go out bike riding, walk in the park, or look for some new recipes to cook for the people around me.

Seungmin: I’ve been enjoying taking vocal lessons and playing the guitar sometimes! I’ve also developed a deep interest in coffee, so I’ve been exploring different machines and flavors.

I.N: I recharge by laying in bed and watching YouTube or movies.

On these last few albums, we’ve seen some unit songs developed outside of the usual 3RACHA team. Do your members ever surprise or excite you by what they come up with when you’re working as a new unit?

Bang Chan: Yes, it’s always surprising and exciting! It’s really unexpected, and their ideas are really good, too, so it’s always fun to work as units.

Changbin: It’s even more inspiring and helpful when I hear other ideas outside of my own.

Seungmin: I was blown away by Felix’s rap and vocals in “Surfin’!” I remember being very pleasantly surprised by the originality/freshness of his self-written rap.

You’ve all grown so much as people and performers since your debut. How has that growth impacted your sound and the themes in your music?

Lee Know: As we’ve grown, we’ve widened our range of music and performances, which has allowed Stray Kids the ability to convey a broader range of expressions.

Seungmin: In my case, I think I’ve become a reliable vocalist for Stray Kids! In order to sing our team’s songs well, I’m honing my singing ability so that I can pull off any type of melody 3RACHA creates.

I.N: Our album contains songs of diverse genres, and singing this wide variety of songs has helped me grow a lot.

If you could have a meal with your families anywhere in the world tonight, what would you be eating and where?

Bang Chan: Just having a normal dinner with the fam at home would be nice.

Lee Know: I think it would be the best if I could have a home-cooked meal with my family at our home in Gimpo. There’s no place more comfortable than that, and Soonie, Doongie, and Dori (our cats) are there, too.

Changbin: I want to go to Australia and eat steak!

Hyunjin: I want to visit Japan with my parents and go to a hot spring again. I’d like to eat the grilled skewers that we had there last time.

HAN: I would like to have a BBQ party and grill tons of meat like chicken, beef, pork, lamb, etc. It would be fun to rent a vacation home and just eat and have fun!!

Felix: I’d love to eat in Australia with my family at a nice, big, fancy restaurant, just enjoying the view, the food, and having the time of our lives together.

Seungmin: I would like to cook and enjoy a meal together at home. It’s the best when you can eat good food and have good conversations in a comfortable atmosphere!

I.N: I would like to grill and eat pork belly in Hawaii while looking out at the ocean.

Want more of Stray Kids? Check out their second full-length album NOEASY and the music video for "Thunderous" here.

#stray kids #kpop spotlight #stray kids kpop spotlight

[yyxgin]

lee felix’s guide to hating you

— ♡ FIC BANNER MADE BY THE AMAZING @chogiwow !!

pairing: lee felix x fem!reader genre: college au, tutor au ; fluff, angst, slice of life, slow burn word count: 21 k warnings: mentions of alcohol, mention of weed, swearing, bad family relationships

a/n: this story is very briefly inspired by jaemin’s drama ‘the way i hate you’ :) also this idea has been in my mind for such a long time, so i’m happy i finally managed to write it. this is also my longest fic so far, i hope it’s worth it. uhh yea enjoy <3

taglist: @feyregels​ @missskzbiased​ @hyunyin​ @koishua​ @crispy-chan​ @rindomo​ @soulssung​ @thatrandomoneinthecorner​ @90shermione​ @chogiwow​ @creatichee​ @freckledberries​ @hyunnies-stars​ 

There’s a list of things Lee Felix knew before applying for college-- and that is: 1) he really, desperately needs a degree for his grandparents to value him as an equal adult, 2) college in young adult movies seems like fun and partying and alcohol really does sound like his wettest dream, 3) he doesn’t need to work for another 4 years, which is fun and 5) he is really, horribly bad at studying.

Here’s a list of things Lee Felix, however, did not know before applying for college, and even though it’s fairly shorter, it hits you in the guts deeper, and that is: 1) studying for college means never ending chapters of insomnia and 2) he is always going to feel like the second choice for everyone. 

You see, girls don’t like Felix that much. Well, that’s a lie-- girls do go after him, tell him he’s cute and his freckles are adorable, but that’s only after they find out there’s no use in chasing after his best friend Han Jisung when he gets himself a new significant other. Boys don’t go after Felix either. Why, you may ask? Read the paragraph over again-- just change the word girls to the word boys. It’s as simple as that. He’s always the second choice, the back-up plan. It feels silly to drag his grandma into this, really, but the truth is, he’s a second choice in every aspect of his life, and that, too, includes his big (and still growing) family that treats him as something less than a human just because of the fact that his grades aren’t as good as his cousin’s are and he doesn’t have a degree in biological science, although he’s too young for that and his college years only started. It’s hard, living in his shoes.

What is Felix, however, really good at? 

Cheating.

Yeah, well, you see-- it’s not funny to be the outcast of the smart Lee family and it’s also not enetaining in the slightest to be the only single one at family gatherings (read as: weddings, because every single one of his relatives decided to fuck up their life with marriage in the past three years for some unknown reason). So Felix does what he’s the best at, and that is going by his favorite life motto: fake it ‘til you make it. 

He cheats on every single one of his exams and believe me when I tell you he’s the top of the class just because he’s the best cheater in town. Good cheating techniques equal good grades and suddenly, Felix’s life seems much brighter when he spends his sleepless nights with creating cheat sheets instead of studying and copying essays written in korean, translating them to english and submitting them as his own because no one will ever notice-- his degree is within the reach of his hand and he can already feel all the grandmas of the family clapping in joy, maybe even wiping away a stray tear on his graduation ceremony in a few years with bouquets of flowers in their hands and expensive watches in their gift bags, ready to welcome him back into the family.. 

What he doesn’t expect, though, is the cute little saying of ‘every lie has short legs’ he swears he heard sometimes in his linguistic class before, coming to life right in front of his eyes as the professor of his Biology class makes him the assigned tutor of the sweet Y/N Y/L/N, because, well, he clearly doesn’t know anything-- what’s he supposed to tutor now? 

The best cheating techniques?

The freckled boy sitting in front of you looks at you with furrowed brows and you wonder what’s the matter with him. Is there something on your face? Are you not dressed appropriately for the occasion? I mean, it’s only a tutoring session, so you didn’t put that much effort into it, but judging from the casual outfit enveloping his body, he didn’t really try to look fancy either. So what was it with him that made him stare you down as if you had horns on your head?

“Shall we start?” he asks once he’s done staring, voice sounding determined. You wonder if he sees the hints of nervousness on your face and if he notices the way you shrink in your seat in the mention of biology, but you guess he doesn’t know you that well to know that you fear the subject as much as you fear dying. 

“Yeah, sure,” you nod, scooting closer to the edge of your seat so you’re not so far away from the table. Felix-- your new biology tutor-- is sitting opposite of you and it’s quite difficult to read the text book once it’s upside down, but you don’t dare to mention it to him for a reason that’s unknown to you as well. It’s like you don’t want to overstep any invisible boundary on your first tutoring session, and telling the person that is teaching you to turn around the text book so you can actually see and learn something seems to be one of the taboos in your eyes. 

You take a quick glance at the waiter that just stopped next to your booth and smile, opening up your mouth to order yourself a meal. “Can I get you anything else?” she asks.

“No-” Felix offers her with a shy smile, but you cut him off with a voice a little higher in the octaves, not wanting your tutor coming in between you and reaching your biggest goal you’ve set for yourself.

“Actually, yes. Could I please get the chicken wings? With fries?” you ask, trying to look as innocent as you can, smiling at her in politeness. You ignore the confused look Lee Felix is offering you from the other side of the table. You mentally send him a signal to tell him to mind his own business, watching the waitress leave with a nod and a polite smile. 

“Okay, now we can start,” you nod at him and focus all your attention to the boy with sandy hair in front of you.

“O...kay?” he answers, obviously trying to bat away his rising confusion, because ordering yourself chicken wings on your tutoring session is prohibited now, apparently. “So,” he starts, sighing and scratching the back of his neck, “what do you not understand from this section?” 

You nervously chew on the bottom of your lip. Well, that’s a sweet question, you think. It would have been much sweeter and much easier to answer, though, if you understood at least a bit from the things you’re supposed to know. You went to university with the urge to prove something to yourself, but the only thing you’re proving to yourself right now is the fact that you are actually kind of useless, when it comes to biology.

“Just like the… whole thing, actually,” you nod, trying not to look as defeated as you feel and also trying not to burst out in a manic laugh as you always do when you feel slightly nervous about anything.

“Cool, cool, yeah,” he nods, taking a deep breath in, turning the textbook around and sighing, “I don’t think I can help you with that.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” you ask, confused. 

Lee Felix is the top of the grade. He is the best at biology, he is the best at chemistry, he is the best at his farmacy class. You’re sure he’ll be a fine biochemist in a few years, when his college times are over. Lee Felix is the smartest boy in your biology class and you are, coincidentally, quite the opposite on this spectrum. Which is exactly why your teacher managed to make Felix tutor you in his free time. You weren’t surprised at the fact that the blonde boy agreed to this-- he was quite the sweetheart, really. All the girls in your class fawned upon the way his freckles shined in the sunlight and the way he opened the doors for older professors. He was quite the boy you would want to introduce to your parents. Not quite the one every girl goes after, but the one that you would want to settle down with after your college years are over.

So why is he, the sweet, but also smart boy that agreed to tutor you, now telling you he can’t help you?

“It’s just.. I’m not really good at this section, I mean-”

“Felix, you’re the top of the class. Of course you’re good at this section.” you mumble, gazing deep into his eyes, trying to search for an answer.

“I-” he says and takes a sharp breath in, stopping himself in continuing his train of thought and just opting to shrug, not giving you a proper response either.

You feel like someone just punched you in the gut, and that’s when you realise-- here it is again. Another person that doesn’t believe in you-- another person that needs proving that you really can do it, you just need a little push. You can see it in his eyes that he doesn’t think you’re smart or bright enough to pass the exams, you’re not good enough to get good grades. It’s nothing new to you, but it still haunts you just the same.

“Is it because you know I can’t do it?” you bluntly ask, sighing. 

“No! No, no, I never said that-” he says, almost panicking with the way his hands fly into the air hurriedly, waving them around as if it was meant to calm you down. 

“You’re acting like it, though. I promise I’m not stupid- well, maybe I am, but-”

“You’re not stupid! It’s me! I’m the stupid one here.” he says, effectively silencing you with his words as you stare at him, dumbfounded. He’s joking, right?

“How can you be stupid when you get only the best grades? Felix, if you just don’t want to waste your time here, tell me, but don’t try to hide behind poor excuses.” you roll your eyes, feeling frustrated at the boy’s antics. Does he really think you’re that stupid that you can’t see right through his lies?

“I cheat.”

You blink a few times as if to reset your brain, gazing at him with pure confusion written in your orbs. He cheats? No. That’s a lie. A person as good at biology as Felix can’t cheat. All his exams are on 100% and he never makes any mistakes. He’s the epitome of the smart kid. The little Einstein. The prodigy. There’s no way it’s all cheating.

“No.” you shake your head in disapproval. “Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying! Look, I genuinely, really want to help you. I really do. The thing is, though, I don’t know how to study. I make cheat sheets and I use them at every exam and every test, that’s why everyone thinks I’m super smart, but that is really not the case,” he shakes his head, staring into your eyes with his wide open in honesty, wanting you-- no,-- needing you to understand. “I would tutor you if I could, really, but I just don’t know how to,” he sighs finally, acting like he’s just given birth or ran a marathon, exhaustion written all over his face.

“So why did you offer to tutor me, then?” you ask.

He takes a moment for himself to collect his thoughts, before he speaks up again. “Well, I didn’t really want to get caught. You see, I would never turn my back to anyone. Really. So I thought I could at least try to learn something? So I could help you? But I failed, as always, so I’m just coming clean in front of you and you have to promise me you won’t tell anyone.”

The moment the last sentence leaves his mouth, you notice the apparent fear in his eyes, realising that he just shared an information with you that nobody really knows. It’s a secret he’s been hiding and keeping from everyone just to appear as the smartest one-- fooling everyone, including you. You feel even more stupid now, under his gaze. You feel played. You came to the tutoring, hoping to finally get a grip, when all you get is a person that is stepping all over the sandcastle of your fragile dreams, kicking every little piece of sand away with his lies. You know you shouldn’t feel so invested in this. You shouldn’t feel so hurt. But somehow, you still do. 

“So you just told me you are lying to everyone and cheating on tests and you want me to keep it a secret from everyone?” you ask in disbelief.

“Yes.” he nods, eyes hopeful. He’s been lying for the last year as if his life was depending on it and now he wants you to do the same-- keep quiet in front of everyone.

“And what do I do when the professor asks me why I’m not getting any better? Huh? Ever thought of that?” you leash out, harshly chewing on your bottom lip in nerves. “I want to pass. And I want to do it fair and square.” you get out in between your teeth.

“I didn’t… I didn’t think of that yet, but-”

“Leave.” you say, looking him sternly into his eyes.

“What do you mean, leave?”

“I don’t want to talk to you anymore. And you’re clearly not here to teach me anything, so you can just take your things and leave.” you spit out, crossing your hands over your chest.

“You leave, then,” he mutters, looking rather offended. You’re not sure why he’s the one hurt right now, but you guess that’s just how men and their egos are, there’s nothing more under his hurt eyes and shattered self-esteem.

“I ordered food, I’m not leaving.” you calmly respond. Once you say this, you’re reminded of the little quest you made for yourself. Never once did you feel silly for taking it so seriously in front of your other friends, but now, in front of Lee Felix with freckled dusted cheeks, you feel almost invisible as you realise why you even ordered the chicken wings and how you’re going to write a yelp review about them later.

Well, someone has to do it, and if not you, then who will, right? It’s the only valid way to find out who makes the best chicken wings in the town and not even your traitor-tutor is going to stop you now, when your list is only getting shorter and shorter. 

He stares at you for a few moments, dumbfounded, before he sighs and accepts his defeat. “Okay, I’ll just have to text my roommate to pick me up,” he admits.

You nod, just in time the server comes back with your food, offering her a welcoming smile. “Fine. But don’t even think of talking to me from now on. I’m not interested in more lies,” you spit at him, scowling as you take a look at the plate of chicken wings sitting in front of you in their full glory. You sense a very bad review, judging from the way the chicken wings look nothing like wings, rather full on small chickens dipped in oil, but dive in nonetheless. 

“Why do you have to be so dramatic?” he asks, voice coated in disbelief.

“Because I was scammed!” you yell out, mouth full of chicken, not caring a second about the way you might look in the boy’s eyes. Yes, you could have at least swallowed before speaking to him, but did you do it? No. No, you didn’t. 

“Oh come on-”

“Don’t even try arguing with me!” you spit at him-- quite glad that this time, it’s not literal-- and huff out in annoyance, when the door opens and a short boy with a bucket hat on steps into the bistro, the red fabric of the seats of the booths contrasting with his shoes in a way that makes you feel captivated, your eyes refusing to tear themselves away from him. 

The boy is taking quick steps to your booth and you almost choke on your chicken wings as you admire his full glory-- tanned skin and car keys in his hand, but his eyes meet the boy sitting opposite of you and that’s when everything clicks. This is not the boy of your dreams, this is Han Jisung. Your tutor’s best friend and roommate-- also known as the resident heartbreaker. You shouldn’t feel weak in your knees when you look at him, but that’s exactly what happens and you won’t feel ashamed about it. Well, not now, at least. In a few hours when you’re lying in your bed? Maybe. But I’ll tell you then.

“Yo, dude, I texted you like five minutes ago that I’m waiting for you outside, what are you still doing here?” he asks, furrowing his brows at his roommate and slowly moving his eyes to you, scanning you up and down, leaving your heart to do the stupid cartwheel you haven’t felt since, like, middle school. 

“We were in the middle of an argument, so I didn’t hear my phone ring.” Felix answers, glaring at you with spiteful eyes. You almost prepare to kill him with yours, but you focus on wiping the oil from the corner of your mouth and smiling heavenly, trying to look like a lady in front of your new visitor.

“Was Felix being absolutely unbearable again?” he asks you, surprising you with his subtle way of engaging you into the conversation.

You giggle, rolling your eyes slightly. “Yeah. You know him too well, don’t you?”

“Unfortunately,” he admits, looking defeated, when he moves his eyes to Felix, looking rather sulky on the red seat in front of you as you chat with his roommate, when Jisung’s tone of voice changes into a more worried one, speaking up again, “does she… did you…?”

“Yeah,” Felix just nods. 

Jisung sighs, sitting down next to his roommate, pushing him a little so he has more space in the booth. “What are you supposed to tutor her anyway?” he asks.

“Biology,” you mumble sooner than Felix gets the chance to speak up, motioning to the textbook still sitting at the table in front of you. 

The boy takes a look at the papers, his face changing from a focused one to a one more lighter, his eyes scanning the papers with ease. You notice his mouth moving a little as he reads the words under his breath, catching yourself from staring when you feel Felix’s eyes burning into the crown of your head, snapping you back to reality. 

“You know… maybe I could help you with that.” he says, looking like a business offering you a deal that you’re sure involves something illegal. He looks like a focused squirrel with his cheeks puffed out a little in what you sense is pride, something in his eyes glowing as you nervously chew on your bottom lip.

“Really?”

“Yeah, of course. I’m actually quite good at biology, to be honest. Well, not as much as Felix over here-” he jokes, scowling when the blonde boy punches his arm, “but I think I could tutor you a thing or two.”

“What’s the catch?” you ask, nervously watching him. Something in his composure is telling you he’ll want something in return, but you don’t know what yet. You’re quite sure you’ll sell your soul for the adorable boy in front of you if he asked you to, but it never hurts to ask beforehand, right? 

“What do you mean, what’s the catch?”

“Like… what do you want in return?” you muse out, taking a bite of a fry, noticing how soggy it feels under your teeth.

“Woah, you spend 15 minutes with Felix and you already think there’s something illegal behind everything? I’ll let you know, I’m better than that.” he scoffs. “I’m just doing it because I see how miserable you are. And I also don’t want you to tell on my buddie over here.” he adds, smiling warmly.

You take notice of the way Felix’s eyes grow twice their size and how Jisung’s knee lightly bumps into his under the table. It’s subtle, but you think that maybe this is when you fully fell for the short boy in front of you-- when he offered to save his best friend’s ass by helping out a lost girl with biology. And who are you to say no now? I mean, you need the tutoring nonetheless. Who cares if the boy tutoring you is someone else? Maybe it’s even more appealing to you this way, but you’ll never admit that out loud.

“Okay then, sure.” you nod, grinning from ear to ear, feeling satisfied.

“Great. Now, give me half the fries and we can arrange our next tutoring session,” he smiles, “oh, and I’m Han Jisung, by the way.”

He winks. 

You should be disturbed, but strangely, you’re not. You grin back at him, offering him the soggy fries you’re sure you’re going to give a really bad review in the evening, watching his composure change into a more laid-back one, engaging you in a conversation and slunging an arm around his best friend’s shoulders.

Lee Felix remains silent. He feels it once again-- he feels the loneliness of being left out. 

And he’s sure it won’t be the last time.

Lee Felix knows damn well how it feels to be the third wheel. He’s hung out with Jisung and his potential love interests multiple times, he’s even been on double dates with the said male, yet, he always somehow ends up being left out. So why does it still feel the same? Why does he still feel that restless feeling in his stomach, the emptiness in his chest, just like the first time? I guess you never get used to some things and emotions are one of them. No matter how much you argue that you know a feeling so well it doesn’t even surprise you anymore, it still hurts the same. That’s funny about emotions. Sometimes, they can’t even make you numb.

“Hurry up dude, the bistro closes in an hour and half!” Jisung rushes the taller male (not tall, just taller. Don’t misunderstand.) with his car keys in his hand, twirling them around his fingers in a nervous manner. Felix notices his roommate has put some effort into his outfit today, considering the lemon supreme shirt enveloping his body that he saves only for special occasions, yet, Felix doesn’t realise why he had to put it on when they’re literally just going out to eat some soggy fries in the bistro close to their house. He doesn’t ask, though. He doesn’t want the car key stuck in his forehead. He also doesn’t know why they have to rush so much, since they have an hour and half left before they close, but again, he doesn’t dare to say it out loud. 

Felix quickly puts his shoes on and rolls his eyes at his roommate. “I’m ready,” he announces.

Jisung swiftly takes a bottle of cologne from the table in their small hall (it’s so small they don’t even have a mirror in it, because there was no use in taking mirror selfies when all you can see on the picture is your phone case due to the fact that the room is too narrow for you to move further away) and sprays his body wit hit, efficiently confusing his roommate. “You wanna smell great for the waiter there? Because from what I remember, he was a stoner-”

“Oh, shut up. You never know when you’re gonna meet someone cute, am I right?” he asks, grinning from ear to ear like a cat, taking his backpack with him and opening the front door, “gotta look and smell presentable at all times.”

Felix wonders if this is why everyone always goes after his best friend. 

No, he thinks, it cannot be the cloud of cologne hanging around his body. It’s heavy and it makes Felix cough a little, but he tries to mask it, because he’s fairly sure Jisung won’t pay for his fries today if he doesn’t. And Felix is a simple man-- if he can get something for free, he will do anything to achieve it.

They arrive at the place in a few minutes and Felix can already feel his mouth watering at the thought of the salty fries and cheeseburger he’s going to get himself, joyfully skipping inside the bistro and waiting in the queue. Jisung follows him, standing next to him, efficiently covering the smell of the oil and all the good things on this earth-- read as fast food-- making Felix scowl. The boy behind the register, is, in fact, Na Jaemin-- the resident frat boy. Felix’s heard all about him from the girls staying at the dorms and to be honest, he’s quite glad he doesn’t have to live the stories of getting caught with weed at Jaemin's party on his own. That, and the fact that hot water runs in his apartment. Na Jemin might have the weed, but he surely doesn’t have that in his college dorm room. 

“Three milkshakes, two large fries, chicken wings and a cheeseburger, please.” Jisung orders, confusing Felix in one sentence. Since when is his best friend a bottomless pot for food? Is he really going to eat all of that?

“Coming right at you. Anything else?” Jaemin asks, voice considerate and polite, still turned on his customer service mode, even though Felix is sure him and Jisung have had shared a joint or two on one of his parties before.

“No, that’s all. Thanks, man,” Jisung answers, leaving with Felix right behind him. 

“Who’s gonna eat all of that? I hope you know you’re paying, and before you protest, yes, I did purposefully leave my wallet at home-” he rambles, still moving, when his train of thought is cut off by a person in his view.

You are sitting there in your full glory, smiling brightly at the boys approaching you. You’re dressed nicely, he notices-- you look like you put some effort into what you’re wearing. You don’t look that much different, but he can still see the slight changes you made to look neat. You’re glowing, Felix notices. You look excited.

“Hi, Y/N,” Jisung greets, taking a seat opposite of you. He doesn’t even give Felix an answer, he doesn’t even give him an explanation. He’s left there only to take a seat next to his roommate after collecting his thoughts, chewing on his bottom lip.

The conversation never moves his way. He is silenced. Felix wonders why he was even invited, watching the people behind the window laughing with their friends, happy to order some tasty food and have fun on this Thursday evening. He watches his friend and his classmate have fun-- well, as much fun as a tutoring session could be. You’re laughing at every single one of Jisung’s jokes and he swears Jisung’s eyes never leave your face, even when he’s explaining something to you. He wonders why Jisung didn’t tell him where they’re going. He wonders why he even had to come.

Lee Felix knows how third-wheeling feels. Yet, it still makes his little foolish heart hurt just the same every time.

You nervously chew on your bottom lip, cracking your knuckles in a habit your friends always scream at you for, waiting for your tutor-- well, he’s not really your tutor anymore-- to appear in the bistro on the other side of the town. You admire the decorations for a while, liking the way it looks modern here and the purple led lights make the whole place look aesthetic. You can already imagine multiple college kids going here and taking instagram pictures to look cool. It’s nice and you’ll definitely include it in your yelp review-- it won’t make it more stars, though, if the chicken wings don’t taste like heaven.

You tug on the sleeves on your hoodie, as if you were trying to make yourself disappear. I mean, you do feel embarrassing. You feel pathetic that it had to come down to this, but you guess desperate times call for desperate solutions. You’re not here to look put-together anymore. You’re going to show him your full glory and although you regret it a little, you still have a little spark of hope in you that Han Jisung-- the boy you, admittedly, were crashing on real hard right now, won’t find out.

Felix comes into the bistro in his full VSCO boy glory, as always. He is wearing a jean jacket and his freckled cheeks are dusted pink, you’d almost think he’s blushing all the time. He doesn’t quite fit the aesthetics of this futuristic looking bistro, you notice. The retro places you’ve been to so far fit him much more-- his sandy hair contrasted well with the yellow walls and red booths. It was starting to get a little repetitive, though, you must admit.

“Hi,” he greets you as he takes his seat, smiling at you with what you can only describe as a feeling of full uncomfort. You wonder what made him feel this way about you, but you don’t dare to think of it twice as you focus on the main quest of the day-- forcing him to teach you his ways.

“Hello,” you smile. 

Felix notices how natural you look-- it feels like now is the first time he’s seeing you in your full glory. You aren’t wearing your neat clothes for a meeting with Jisung and you’re not too casual like you were at your first ‘tutoring session’ either-- you’re just you. The way he doesn’t even see you in classes. He likes the fact that no one else than him can see you like this-- he likes the fact that Jisung is nowhere around, yet, he wonders why is that, exactly, since the two of you seemed to be hitting it off quite well so far.

Felix hasn’t been with Jisung when he last tutored you. He figured there’s no use, he’s going to get ignored all the time anyway. 

“So… what’s the matter?” he asks, folding his hands into his lap. He dares to take a quick look at you, noticing your worn-out shirt and dark circles under your eyes, worry washing over him. Did something happen? Was Jisung a jerk to you? 

“Well, I sort-of have a little problem,” you mumble out, tearing your gaze away from him. You seem shy for the first time in front of him and he wonders why. He doesn’t understand your sudden change of behaviour. This isn’t the you he’s used to. “Well, turns out, I am really stupid.” you propose, leaving Felix to gaze at you in surprise.

He chuckles. You swiftly look up at him with piercing eyes telling him to stop, and he almost does, but your face looks too adorable when it’s scrunched up like that, so he only giggles once more. “You’re not stupid.”

“I am!” you whine out, finally letting your whole shy facade fall, exposing the true you once again right in front of Felix’s eyes-- direct and fierceful. “Even Jisung’s tutoring isn’t helping and I feel so stupid with him! And I don’t want him to think that I’m stupid, even though I am, and I just… I can’t pass my exams like this, so I need your help.” you say, eyes big, looking almost pleading.

“And I am supposed to help… how? Exactly?” The confusion is written all over his face, and it almost makes you frustrated. You knew he must be smart, if his cheating has been so good he’s getting through college with straight As, but really, is he really that smart if he can’t read in between the lines?

“Help me cheat.” you quickly get out, biting down on your lower lip just as you say it, as if you were regretting it.

The silence that overtakes the two of you feels like it’s slowly going to eat you up alive, angrily biting into your skin. It feels heavy and suffocating, your palms sweating as you watch Felix blink at you with mouth agape, breathing in and out. You pray for him to make up his mind soon, or else you’re going to run out of the bistro without a yelp review, tearing the skin of your cuticles as you see him blink quickly a few times before shaking his head in disbelief, clearing his storage.

“You want me to help you cheat?” he asks for clarification, furrowing his brows at you.

“That’s correct.” you nod, chewing on the inside of your cheek. You haven’t been this nervous since you took your college entrance exams, and that shows a lot, considering you used to say that has been the most difficult experience of your life so far.

“Because Jisung…. isn’t tutoring you well enough?” he asks again, making you roll your eyes in annoyance.

“Hey, don’t put the blame on Jisung! I’m just stupid, that’s all.” you say, looking down into your lap, because his gaze suddenly feels like he’s judging you and you really don’t feel like maintaining eye contact with him when you’re under pressure.

“If you don’t stop saying that, I will kick you.”

“You wouldn’t dare-”

“I would and I will-”

“Okay, but is that a yes, then?” you look up at him with hopeful eyes, resembling a puppy just a little too much, and, well, Felix can’t just reject you now, can he?

“I.. guess…?” he says, watching your face light up in joy as you clap a few times in excitement. 

“Great! Can we start today? We have to start today! I brought my text books and papers and sharpies and-” you are cut off by Felix’s face lighting up at the sight of you, his eyes looking warm and admiring. You quickly shake away the excitement before it goes too far and you actually go to hug him or something, taking a deep breath in and out to calm yourself down.

Just in that moment, the server appears with two servings of chicken wings and two large fries, making Felix look at you in confusion. 

“I ordered you food, since I thought we’ll stick around for a while..” you mumble, seeing him eagerly nod and take one fry into his hand, biting down on it with a face full of pleasure. 

“Perfect. Just let me eat a few of these and we can get right into work, I promise,” he mutters with a mouth full of food, prompting you to take a bite yourself. It doesn’t taste the worst-- the bistro you went to after prom last year was definitely worse than this, but still, you don’t think Felix’s face quite resembles how the food tastes. He looks as if the Queen of England made it. In reality, it’s just a soggy fry. 

“Why do you always order the same thing? Aren’t you tired of eating the same thing over and over again?” he asks suddenly, examining your face with real interest. No one’s ever noticed your eating habits before, just shrugging off what you order every single time. Your little fast food experiment has been a secret so far, even though it wasn’t that hard to cover it up-- nobody really cared until now. 

You feel blush creeping on your cheeks as you shrug, feeling a little embarrassed for like the hundredth time today, when you reply to the boy in front of you. You know his secret, so it only feels valid for him to know yours. “I have this experiment… like, I try chicken wings and fries at every single bistro, restaurant and fast food chain in the town to find out which one’s the best…” you mumble, looking into your plate instead of facing him out of the ugly feeling of patheticness creeping up your back.

“Oh, that’s cool!” he exclaims, pointing his fry your direction, a response you didn’t quite expect, “Where do they have the best ones so far?” he asks, genuine interest painting his features.

“Oh,” you get out, feeling your lips unvoliteraly tug into a smile, “I don’t.. I still have a few bistros and the McDonald’s on the highway out of the city left, but I’d say the best ones so far were at Wendy’s. I didn’t quite like the chicken wings there, though, so…”

“Hmm,” he nods, deep in thought, “we just get food at where’s the closest.” he says, munching on a chicken wing. “I guess we could pay a little more attention to the food from now on, because after eating this, I’m never going to eat the food from the bistro right in front of our flat again.”

“Yeah, that bistro’s really awful. I only gave it around 2.5 stars, I think-” you say, before you realise you just spilled out another secret to him, feeling your cheeks heating up. 

“2.5 stars? What, do you write yelp reviews or something?” he asks, clearly amused by your accidental spill-out.

“And what if I do?” you defend yourself, glaring at him with fake annoyance. No man will ever make fun of you because you write yelp reviews. Not Lee Felix, even though he seems too nice to actually make fun of you because of something, not anyone. 

“That’s cool, though! Those help so much when you travel,” he says, eagerly nodding at you with big eyes and an adorable grin plastered on his face, making you feel understood and happy with just the sudden sign of acceptance. Turns out your little weird obsession isn’t as embarrassing as you thought it was. Or Lee Felix really is the sweetest guy walking on this earth. Either one is fine in your books.

You stay there for a few hours and Felix teaches you the basic cheat codes-- never meet the teacher’s eye, never finish your tests too quickly, always forcefully pick the wrong option before scribbling it out and putting in a correct one to not seem too suspicious. He even takes a piece of paper from you and scribbles down the basic cheat-sheet making structure. 

He feels good with you. He feels useful. He knows he shouldn’t be teaching you this, but really, is it really doing any harm? We all have to go through college somehow.

Yet, all evenings always end the same for Felix, with a bad feeling in his gut and a fake smile on his face hiding the true meaning behind his actions. He’ll never be the first choice and you remind him even today, after you leave the ‘tutoring session’ with a quick hug to the male, lowering your voice so only he can hear when you pay him your goodbyes.

“Don’t tell Jisung, okay?”

Of course. It’s all because you don’t want to look embarrassing in front of his best friend.

It goes all how you planned it to-- you’re sitting at your next tutoring session with two males in front of you. One of them is your supposed tutor and one of them is a boy that’s helping you pass your exams for real. You’re into one of them, even though you shouldn’t. You wonder how you even ended up in this mess. You swear you were a good student in high school, always submitting your assignments on time and making sure your tests were on 100%. It was kind of fueling your ego, in a way. You had no other plans in your life to hold on to, no dreams to dream, so you reasoned to do the only thing that you were good at-- getting good grades. You had to prove to yourself that there was a reason, a meaning behind your life. You had to prove to yourself that your existence was valid.

You watch Jisung with interest. You pray to god that he doesn’t catch you in your act, because that would surely be embarrassing. You don’t want him to find out that you’re just fine with cheating, because that meant your tutoring sessions with the male would end and there was no other reason for you to see him. You knew Han Jisung wasn’t interested in you. You were sure you’d see it on him if he was. And even then, you weren’t interested in only a short relationship without any good point. You liked Jisung, but you didn’t like his reputation. One week wasn’t long enough for you to waste your time on him and get your heart broken. You weren’t sure if he was a player, or if he just wanted to desperately find the one by trying all the possibilities, but you weren’t going to find out. 

Felix watches you with interest in his eyes-- but you don’t notice. He prays that Jisung doesn’t find out about your secret little ‘tutoring sessions’, because that would mean he wouldn’t have a reason to hang out with you anymore. And Felix really doesn’t want that to happen. For some reason, he doesn’t want you to ever frown. And he’s sure that’s exactly what would happen if Jisung cancelled.

It doesn’t click to him what’s happening inside of his little, foolish heart when he sees you smile at Jisung and his stomach fills with worry. 

It doesn’t click to him what’s happening with him when every time Jisung subtly takes your hand in his makes his insides twitch in frustration. He thinks it’s just because of the fact that he’s third-wheeling again, like all his life, and maybe that is partly true, but it’s not the whole reason behind the cloud around his head.

It clicks only when him and his roommate are back home, sitting at the dinner table with the left-overs from the new bistro you three went to, munching on the chicken wings and another pack of soggy french fries and the cola they had in their fridge.

“So… what do you think about Y/N?” Jisung asks suddenly, making Felix furrow his brows in confusion.

“What should I think? She’s smart, I guess…” he mumbles, mouth full of food, not quite grasping the full meaning of his roommate’s question. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Jisung quickly nods in approval, “she’s getting really good. I mean, you can still see she’s having some troubles when I’m tutoring her, but at least she always gets good grades on tests now,” he says, biting down on another piece of chicken wing. Felix feels a wave of pride wash over him after hearing the words-- of course you’re doing well on exams. It’s all Felix’s doing. You’re a quick learner, when it comes to cheating. 

“Yeah, she’s good,” he says. 

“Well,” Jisung suddenly starts, meaning to sound nonchalantly, but only sounding like he’s determining his biggest life secret in front of his friend instead, “I like her.”

Felix almost chokes on the piece of chicken in his mouth, trying to play it off with a small chuckle. “Oh? You do?”

“Yeah. Should I.. Should I ask her on a date or something?” he asks and Felix swears he can see his friend’s cheeks reddening a little, even though the last time he’s seen Jisung embarrassed was when he accidentally called their Math’s teacher mum in eleventh grade. 

“You don’t date, though,” Felix opposes.

“That’s not true-”

“Two weeks long relationships aren’t relationships, Jisung.” 

“Not my fault they’re never the one! It gets boring after a while, Felix, I can’t just-”

“Why are you even asking me this?” Felix suddenly cuts him off, glaring at him. He doesn’t know why he’s reacting in such a way. It’s not like it’s the first time Jisung is going to date someone for two weeks just to break their heart, it’s not the first time they’re going to run after Felix a week after just so they can still be around the one that broke their heart. This time, though, he does not want to see another heart get broken.

“Jesus, chill, man… I was just asking, since you two seem closer. Did she mention anything about me? Is she dating anyone?” Jisung asks, eyes lighting up.

Felix could be an asshole. He could tell Jisung that you’re already dating someone, he could tell him to back off and that you’re not interested. However, he does not do that. Instead, he does the quite opposite. He pushes his best friend into asking you out, he tells him he should try it, because that’s just the kind of person he is. Besides, he knows you’re into him. Maybe the smile on your face could make him forget about the fact that you’re going to get your heart broken. 

“Sure, go for it.” he shrugs, “I don’t really care anyway.”

“Fine, then-”

“I’m gonna shower.” Felix says, quickly standing up from his chair and moving to the bathroom, quickly escaping the conversation.

Only then he realises what he feeling in his gut means, only then he notices the way his sigh feels like the weight of the world is sitting on his shoulders and he can’t breathe any time you’re around Han Jisung. 

He realises he likes you. 

And clearly, you don’t like him back.

Emotions are something you never quite get used to. Even the emotion of feeling rejection, the emotion of always being behind his best friend’s shadow. Lee Felix is always just the friend. Never the love interest. This time, though, it feels even more heavy, because in a way, you seem way more special in his eyes than the people that went after him just to get with his best friend.

This time, he does not want to see another heart get broken. Because it’s your heart we’re talking about.

And to prevent his heart shattering to even more pieces, he has to do something.

He has to stop liking you.

As soon as possible.

“Y/N?” 

“Mhhm?” you ask, raising your eyes up from the cheat sheet you’re creating with Felix’s help, the grease of the fries you’re eating glistening on your chin. You’re with him in a yet another crappy bistro, trying yet another soggy fries, and even though there’s nothing special on you to a stranger’s eye, Felix’s heart can’t help but run twice the speed of light. 

“How do you stop liking someone?” he mumbles, furrowing his brows a little, deep in thought. 

“Oh, do you like someone?” you ask, and Felix momentarily lights up at the thought of you caring if he’s interested in someone, but when his eyes meet yours and he notices them glistening and lightening up in curiosity, he realises it’s just because you’re happy for him. As a good friend should be. 

“No, no,” he quickly shakes his head in disapproval, snickering to himself, “I’m just asking. Because, think, what if, hypothetically, there’s someone who is into someone else. Easy, right? But what if their best friend likes the same person? And you know you shouldn’t like them because they’re into their friend as well? What is there to do at that point?” 

You scan his face for a few seconds, thinking to yourself. “Hmm,” you start, “I guess you have to start hating them. So the feelings disappear.” you nod, satisfied with your answer.

“How’s that possible?” he asks, scoffing.

“Well, I don’t know, since it’s all hypothetical anyway,” you giggle, focusing back on your cheat sheet. Your notes are getting smaller and smaller and Felix notices the improvement in your small lettering, making your cheat sheet less noticeable. You’re learning quickly.

“Oh come on,” he whines, kicking your leg under the table, “talk to me. How can a person start hating someone? Give me a tutorial.” 

“Well, since you really need to know,” you roll your eyes, putting away the pen from your hand and resting your back against the seat of the booth, “there are a few steps you can take.”

“For example?”

“Well, you have to stop hanging out with them, first thing’s first.” you start. “Because if you don’t hang out with them, you will eventually hate the fact that they’re not near, which will, logically, make you hate them instead.”

“Is that really logical, though?” Felix asks, furrowing his brows at you. In his books, this made no sense at all, but you seemed pretty satisfied with your answer.

“Of course it is! Then, you have to find something about them that you can hate. Anything. Find even the smallest thing, and blow it up in your mind until you hate it. Easy, right?” 

“...I don’t think that’s helping at all,” he says, tone of voice unsure. 

“Of course it is! You’re just refusing that it can be true, because you think I’m stupid.” you stick out his tongue at him, focusing on your work instead.

He kicks you under the table, making you scowl. “Ow! What was that for?”

“I told you that if you’ll make that comment again, I will kick you. So I just did right that.” he says. “Besides, your ideas are stupid. Not you. There’s a difference in that.” he smartly points out, making you roll your eyes at him.

“So, who is it that you like?”

“No one. I told you, it’s hypothetical.” he glares at you.

“Right,” you nod, sighing, “well, I’ll just stick to that, since that means Jisung doesn’t like anyone and I still have a chance.” you smile at him, obviously missing out on the way your words just punched him into the gut. Felix laughs it out, kicking you in the shin instead.

“Right. Of course you do,” he nods. He wishes he didn’t mean that.

You two remain in silence for a moment, while you get back to your work and Felix pretends he’s playing a game on his phone. You don’t notice the way his eyes scan you over, admiring you, once in a while. No one ever does. He guesses this is the perk of always being just the friend. The one people are friends with just because they want something from him. The one that gets taken advantage of. He chooses not to think about it more. Maybe if he did, he could hate you over it, if he wasn’t so used to that feeling anyway. 

“We should hang out on the weekend,” you say, taking him by surprise.

“Oh?” he mumbles out, “with Jisung?”

“No?” you furrow your brows, “look, I know I look like I’m obsessed with him, but I actually just want to hang out with you alone as friends once in a while, you know.”

“We’re hanging out now, though.”

“It’s midnight, Felix,” you point out, “and we’re working. I want to hang out with my friend, like a normal person, you know.” you shrug.

“Yeah…” he says, when your words resonate in his mind like a broken curse. ‘Don’t hang out with them.’ Don’t hang out with her. You have to hate her. He has to start hating you-- there’s no other way. And so, he turns to taking your words into consideration. He can’t meet with you if he’s not ‘tutoring’ you. There’s no way. “We’ll see. I’ll tell you if I’m free.” he smiles warmly instead, because truth be told, he’ll never tell you no to your eyes. He’s always been a bit of a coward. And he also doesn’t want you to frown. Ever.

“Great!” you smile. 

And when Felix comes home that night, at 2am in the morning when his roommate is already asleep-- not knowing of your secret meetings, he lays down in his bed and repeats your advice like a broken mantra. He can’t like you. He has to hate you.

Lee Felix’s guide to hating you: 1. Don’t hang out with her. Only meet her when it’s necessary. If you don’t meet her, you’ll start hating her absence, resulting in hating her altogether. 2. Find a small thing about her to blow up so much you start to hate it. 

That’s not difficult. He hates that you like Han Jisung. It’s a small mistake, a small flaw, but he’s ready to blow it up so much he hates you for it. He hates that he’s not the first choice. He hates that you don’t like him.

Maybe he would hate you more if you were dating his best friend for real.

Lee Felix’s guide to hating you: 1. Don’t hang out with her. 2. Find a thing to hate about her. SUCCESS! 3. Set her up with Han Jisung.

Now, this plan is bulletproof, isn’t it?

Felix unexpectedly breaks the first step of his guide only a few days later-- on a chilly friday afternoon, when his body is hurriedly skipping to the edge of the town centre only to meet with you. Just for the record, though, Felix didn’t intend to break the promise he gave to himself. He really wasn’t going to hang out with you if he didn’t specifically need to, but, well… you called Jisung to hang out. Felix’s heart almost skipped a few beats when he was added to a three-person big group chat with you and his roommate and at that point, he wasn’t going to reject an invitation to the fare in town, because he was fairly sure Jisung didn’t like rollercoasters and he wanted to see you laugh your ass off at him in front of everyone. Is it a little spiteful? Possibly. Does he care? Not that much.

Besides, it’s only one time. It will never happen again!!

He finds you with your black leather jacket on, stepping from one leg to the other, looking around like a lost puppy. Felix mentally curses at himself for not coming sooner so you wouldn’t feel so alone and awkward in the mass of people, when he realises he’s already 15 minutes late because of his afternoon class and his roommate is nowhere to be found.

“Thank god! I thought you were going to bail on me as well,” you call out when Felix is close enough, smiling at him.

“Where’s Jisung?”

“He texted me like 5 minutes ago that he can’t make it today. Something about his mum being in town? I’m not sure,” you furrow your brows, “at least you’re here now, though.”

Felix is met with the realisation that he’s left alone with you again, mentally cursing at himself. This surely does not look like a plan to hating you. It looks like a bullet-proof plan on how to fall even deeper for you, with how your stray hairs are flying around your head and you adorably scrunch up your nose and sniffle from the cold. 

“Should we go?” he forces out of himself, looking at you hopefully.

“Yeah!” you nod, striding a few steps in front of him like a happy school girl excited to go to school for the first time. Felix can’t surpass the gentle smile forming on his lips, shaking his head in disbelief. You look so cheerful and so joyful, making his heart swell with how easily you manage to make him feel so young again. 

He follows you gladly, managing to match his speed with yours, almost forgetting for a moment that he’s not on a date with you, almost forgetting about the fact that you like his best friend and the smile you’re giving him is nothing against the wide grin you offer to his roommate.

“Let’s go on that one!” you cheer, taking Felix by the hand and tugging him your way, not once giving him the opportunity of letting go as you drag him all around the fare. You remind him of his younger sister with how excited you get about the smallest things and he realises he wants to protect your heart from the world just as much as he wants to protect his little sister’s. It’s not the same feeling, though. The affection he feels for you is different. 

Felix doesn’t find it in him to tell you no whenever you tug him on another ride, even when his legs are tired and his jaw hurts from smiling. He finds himself wanting to capture your image into his brain forever, imprint the happy memory in there so he can find it and look at it whenever his heart feels lonely. For the first time in ages, he forgets about everything. He forgets that he’s just the friend, the other choice. He completely forgets that Han Jisung was supposed to be there, at his place, sitting next to you on the ferris wheel as you watch the night city under you with cold cheeks and frozen bodies.

“You must be sad that Jisung isn’t here with you right now. That would surely feel much more romantic than sitting here with me,” Felix says bitterly once the reality hits him for a second, once his heart is unsheltered for a short moment and your eyes meet.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” you roll your eyes, “Jisung can’t be romantic. Besides, if I really wanted a date with him so badly, I wouldn’t have asked you to come with us, would I?” you smile at him, swinging your legs forward and backward, focusing your eyes somewhere into the distance again.

“Well, if you really want to go on a date with him, you can just ask him, you know?” he mumbles, playing with the dead skin on his thumb.

“So he can stand me up and go on a date with his mum again? I don’t know, Felix, is that really worth it?” you giggle, not noticing the way you’re messing with the boy’s head, not noticing the way a small spark of hope lights up somewhere in the deep pits of his stomach when you mention not wanting to ask his best friend out. 

“I don’t know, is it?”

“I’ll have to think about it.” you muse out, and the spark is gone. Of course it’s not that simple. 

Felix just nods and grins at you. The chilly air helps him hide his red cheeks when he thinks of how embarrassing his thoughts must have been in the past quick seconds. He focuses on your face, on the way your eyes crinkle up a little when you stare somewhere far into the distance and your hair flies a little with the breeze. The ferris wheel just reached the top, so he has plenty of time to keep admiring you from so close, but somehow, the moment still feels so short and he wishes he could stop the time. He wishes he could stop the time so he didn’t have to face the reality when he comes down from the ferris wheel. He wishes he didn’t have to see you fall in love with his friend, he wishes he didn’t have to act like he doesn’t care at all. 

“Thanks for helping me, by the way. I wouldn’t have passed my exams if it wasn’t for you and that… that would be really hard on me.” you get out, locking your eyes with his sincerely. He sees your eyes shining even so high above the ground, convincing him the sparkles really must be the stars, when he takes a deep breath in and responds.

“It’s no problem, I get it… I mean, it’s what you gotta do. What we gotta do, when we want to pass. And graduate,” he chuckles. 

Does he really want the degree, though? Or does he just need it to feel like he has some worth? Does he want to graduate or does he just want his parents to value him as an adult, does he really want to continue working so hard on passing or would he just be so much happier if he just dropped out. And saved himself so much stress. He should have known he was never smart enough for college.

“Yeah. I despise the smart kids in our class. I wish I were them,” you scoff, “I despise Jisung, in a way, too,” you add after a dramatic pause.

“Jisung?” Felix furrows his brows.

“Yeah,” you nod, like it’s the clearest thing in the world, “I mean, he’s smart enough to pass. He’s… he’s got his life figured out, in a way. He’s just fine. Getting all the girls and the guys, getting good grades, going on dinner dates with his mum on Fridays,” you giggle, “I mean, I want that. That sounds nice.”

Felix huffs, staring into the distance, “I guess you’re right.” He knows damn well how jealousy feels. 

“I came to college to prove to myself that my life has some worth, but I guess the only thing I prove to myself is that I can’t even pass my exams without help.” you sigh, sounding defeated.

“Hey,” he nudges you a little with his foot, “don’t say that. Life isn’t about grades, degrees and that shit. Of course you have worth and value.” 

He sees you smile in defeat, leaning your head on his shoulder. The feeling of acceptance, pure understanding washes over the two of you, when you gently speak up again. “Try to explain that to my brain.” 

He lightly giggles. “I’m trying, as you can see.”

You look up at him from his shoulder, scrunching up your nose and leaning closer to him, whispering. “It’s not working.” you laugh.

“I know it’s not easy,” he shakes his head, “I’ve been trying to tell that to my family for the past 21 years.” he slips out. Something about you makes him spill out even things he’s never told anyone before, but he finds himself not caring as you approach his eyes with pure serenity mixed with melancholy.

“Is it all because of your parents?” you ask, “the cheating, I mean.”

Felix feels his eyes giving him out, so he chooses not to look at you anymore. “I mean, I would have dropped out long ago if I didn’t have to feel so worthless around my family then. Every single one of my cousins is smart, has a degree and earns a killing. I’m just me-- living from the money I earned over summer, trying not to lose my mind with biology.”

He hears you humming next to him, your head moving as you nod in understatement. The ferris wheel is slowly reaching the bottom again and Felix finds the fact quite relieving. He doesn’t mind having deep talks with you, he just fears he might spill out something both of you don’t want to hear.

“I’m glad you came with me today, Lix.” you smile at him once the two of you reach the bottom, “wanna hear a secret?”

“Spill it out,” he dares you, grinning.

“I only invited Jisung because I thought you didn’t want to hang out with me alone.” you confess, quickly turning around in your spot as you jog a few steps in front of him, carelessly, as if you just didn’t make Felix’s heart stop and insides twitch in excitement. He prays and hopes it’s not just you giving him false hope, he wishes it’s not his mind playing tricks on him. 

“I-” 

“And now that I know you don’t mind being around me, do you wanna go to the dog cafe with me next Wednesday? You know, the one I talked about.” you turn around, flashing him a smile worth a billion dollars, taking him by surprise as his breathing hitches and he doesn’t find it in him to reject you ever again.

“Sure.”

Second step of Lee Felix’s guide to helping you: find a small thing about you he doesn’t like to blow up so much he starts hating you altogether. 

He was so sure that he found the small thing just a few days ago. He thought that the fact that you like his best friend could be enough for him to start hating you. He could sit on that thought for long enough to pick it up to the smallest pieces and over-analyse it to the point he could start hating you. 

And he tries to do just that-- he lies awake at night thinking of how every single person he’s ever been interested in slipped right between his fingers just because of Jisung’s existence. He wonders why he’s never good enough to anyone, why he always has to be the second choice even for tutoring (even though it’s not even tutoring, but we won’t talk about that anymore). He thinks of how you’re so foolish to think your relationship with Jisung is going to last, because Jisung’s feelings never stay the same for long. He over-analyses the smallest things he notices on you when you’re in Jisung’s presence until the point he’s almost sure he can do it, he can hate you for it just a little, in a way, but then, the thought flies right out of the open window as his roommate crashes into his door in the middle of the night.

He startles awake, sitting up at his bed, watching the short male going in with much difficulty, sitting on his bed without a word.

“Jisung?”

“Lixie, I fucked it all up, didn’t I?” Jisung whines, laying down on the bed next to his friend. Felix doesn’t think it’s only due to the late hours of the night that his friend’s words aren’t making any sense, but he doesn’t dare to put his finger on it until he makes sure for himself.

“What are you talking about?”

“Y/N.”

Your name coming out of his lips hits Felix like a baseball bat, hurting in all the right places, as the young male finds it in him to continue the conversation.

“What about her?”

“She asked us to hang out together. And I didn’t go. I know it wasn’t my fault, because my mum was in the town, but still, I feel so bad, because now it must look like I’m not interested in her and that I don’t care and I really don’t want that, you know?” he stummers, making Felix realise his friend talks a lot when he’s under the influence of alcohol just the same second Jisung’s breath catches in Felix’s nose, only proving his point. 

“You didn’t fuck it up, don’t worry.” he muses. And it’s true. Jisung could never truly fuck it up with anyone. Even his exes always crumble up around his feet, wanting attention even after getting their heart broken. Will it be the same with you?

“She must think I don’t like her. And that’s horrible-that’s- that’s- I like her. Very much,” he whines again, getting closer to Felix and wrapping his arms around the blonde’s torso in a wave of affection that only washes over him when he’s drunk.

“Sung-” he stutters, desperately trying to push him away, but even though Jisung doesn’t look like it, he is a strong individual when it comes to involuntary cuddling. Felix can never escape his arms.

“I think she’s special, you know? She’s like- I can’t explain it. It’s like with her, I actually want to try. I want to ask her on dates and love her and give her my heart, because you know, I never dared to give my heart to anyone. And no one’s ever made me feel truly special before…” he mutters, forcing his nose to Felix’s neck, “I’m rambling too much, aren’t I?”

“Yeah,” Felix sighs, nodding. He doesn’t battle his arms anymore. Jisung is his friend, at the end of the day. He can hold him when he needs it.

“Sorry.” he says shortly, sighing as well. The room falls into silence and Felix’s head spins again, his thoughts spiral like a tornado and the eye of the storm is you-- standing there with that stupid smile on your face and he once again realises that he needs to hate you in order to shelter his own heart, because you’re like a hurricane when it comes a to a person’s emotions.

The fact is, though, he could never hate you for liking his best friend. 

Han Jisung is too likable for his own good. His heart is too big for this world, and truth be told, he’s been sharing it with everyone for such a long time now, he deserves to find someone he’s willing to give his all to. 

He could never hate you for liking Jisung-- the boy who smiles at everyone in the halls, the boy that offered him to live in the flat his parent’s bought for him in freshman year, the boy that helps him hide his cheating secret every day. He could never hate you for liking Jisung, because he himself knows too well how much of a treasure his dear friend is. 

He gets it. He gets why people always choose Jisung over him. He could never blame you.

“Sung?”

“Hmm?”

“Ask Y/N out to the dog cafe on Wednesday. She'll love it.”

Felix could never hate you.

Step three of Felix’s bullet-proof guide to hating you is quite simple and actually the only one he completes with success. Setting you up with Jisung on a date is easier than he ever imagined, considering the fact that his roommate decided to finally take things into his own hands and call you on a date after the drunken weeping episode in Felix’s bed. 

Jisung invites you on a date to the dog café in town. The two of you go on Wednesday and although Felix feels like he just gave his roommate a piece of him, an invitation that was never meant for him in the first place, he feels at ease, because at least one part of his plan is working. He could never hate you, but at least now, it will be easier for him to ignore his growing feelings for you when you spend all your time with Jisung on dates and ice cream runs. He only has to ignore his feelings in school and at your ‘tutoring’ sessions. He wonders how long these will be a secret in front of your new boyfriend. Jisung’s not your boyfriend yet, but Felix can only imagine how short the time he isn’t is going to last. 

Felix does the stupid mistake of opening the instagram app in the evening, when he’s curled up in his bed with an embarrassingly big bowl of popcorn on his bed side table, serving him as his depression food. He sees your post show up, an adorable picture of you from the dog café, a big golden retriever in your lap as you giggle at its face. The picture is candid and looks like the kind Felix would like to keep as his lock screen if he had the chance. He’s sure his best friend took it for you not only from the fact that you went out with him tonight, but also for the fact that he’s tagged in the post’s description with a big blue heart emoji. 

He could stop staring at the picture if he really wanted, he could mute your posts and pretend you never existed to shelter his poor heart. He could do everything in his strength to cut all his ties with you. That would make it so much easier for him, wouldn’t it?

But he doesn't. And maybe he doesn’t even want to-- he’s used to the pain anyway, isn’t he? The bitterness, the feeling of being pushed away, ignored and left forgotten. 

He was supposed to be in Jisung’s place now, but that doesn’t change the simple fact that he isn’t-- maybe it was never his place to claim anyway. 

Felix stares at the picture for minutes, wondering of how things could be if you only didn’t fall for his best friend. Or if he came with you today. Who knows, maybe it wasn’t too late for him to ask you on a date. Maybe he could still change your mind. Felix likes to give up on things too quickly, though, and that is the curse that will follow him his whole life. 

Lee Felix is good at cheating. He is insanely good at it, he would also say it’s the only thing he’s ever been good at. Pretending.

It’s his time to shine again. It’s time to pretend he doesn’t like you, pretend you don’t hurt him, pretend he isn’t in love with his best friend’s crush. He’s been always the best at cheating and now it’s time to cheat his way out of liking you. 

Sounds easy, doesn’t it?

“You must be really hungry, if you’re planning to eat all of that in one setting,” Felix mumbles, watching you as you eat yet another plate of chicken wings in yet another pointless bistro in town. Felix wonders how you even know about all of these, since the one you’re both sitting in right now, in the middle of the night, looks rather lonely. It doesn’t even seem that welcoming-- it has graffiti on the walls and the seats are a little torn on the edges, but you don’t seem to care as you munch on the chicken, eyes big when you stare back at your companion.

“I eat a lot when I’m stressed,” you mutter in between your bites, mouth full. You look natural like this and Felix realises this is you in his mind-- cheeks full of food, that little wrinkle in between your brows when you look at him, eyes staring big into his like a loyal dog. This is how he knows you, in your rawest form, and this is coincidentally, also, how he likes you the most. He loves and treasures every single version of you, but your late-night meetings feel of different kind of intimacy to him that he’s sure he’s going to think of even when he’s old and his college years are dusty like an old polaroid picture.  

“Stressed?” he asks, tone of voice a little more worried than usual. Felix always worries about you. Even when you quietly take out your cheat sheet from under the table and write your answers down. He doesn’t fear being caught-- he frankly doesn’t care that much, but he knows that you are having a battle with yourself and he really doesn’t want you to feel like you lost. He didn’t know it was so easy to put someone else first when you worry for the future. 

“The finals are coming up.” you clarify, the words coming out a little bashful and smitten.

“Oh.” he nods. 

You’re both quiet for a while. It would be cheesy to say the silence was comfortable, and Felix knows, he’s seen enough teenage dramas to know these words are used in situations like this, but the truth is, there’s no other way to describe it, and he understands that now. Your determination shines through all your edges and he’s glad you’re doing what you can with the resources you have. You’re not exactly studying for your Biology finals, but it’s still as hard and as stressful as that. It can feel a little embarrassing at times, but there’s no other way around it. You have to battle your enemy, even if it means the game is not fair.

“And those chicken wings are fucking good, dude,” you mutter after a while, offering him one of the paper baskets the server brought you a few minutes ago, looking rather stoned and not interested in your presence at all.

“Don’t tell me this rotten place is winning your chicken wings and fries contest,” Felix snickers, taking a bite that, to his surprise, actually tastes the best out of the amount of fast food chains and restaurants you’ve brought him to. You should never judge a book by its cover and this bistro is clearly one of the examples.

“I have only one place left to go, so we’ll see then, but I guess it might just be the top place right now,” you muse out, a wide grin decorating your features as you glance up at Felix that watches you scribble down your notes on a mini piece of paper.

“Wanna go with me there? After the finals, of course. We can celebrate if we pass,” you point out, licking your lips in nerves, “I don’t think I’ll need these ‘tutoring sessions’ anymore then, but I still want to hang out sometime.” you say, putting air quotes around the words tutoring session, looking at him with expectations in your eyes.

“Oh, sure,” he agrees, nodding. “I have to be there when you finally declare your last yelp review.”

You only laugh at him and shake your head, eating some more as you look down into your notes again, lost in work. “I still don’t get how you can do these so fast.”

“I already know what’s the most useful. You don’t have to copy the whole textbook on there.”

“You can never know! What if I’ll need it all?” you exclaim, only making him laugh harder.

He points his eyes out of the window, watching the empty parking lot. You didn’t come in your car today, telling Felix your house is close anyway, and Felix doesn’t dare to drive his car anywhere unless he doesn’t need to. He has a little bit of a trauma since the last time he drove with his dad and he almost ran the car into a tree, getting a shower of swear words and exclamations from his dear father, so he only drives his small white Renault when he needs to go home. Which is, coincidentally, next week. 

“I really don’t want to go home next week,” he sighs.

“Your family is still onto you for the smallest shit?” you ask, tone of voice sympathetic.

“Yeah. Can’t wait to graduate so I don’t have to listen to them talking about a degree anymore,” he rolls his eyes, “I only have to find myself a partner so my grandma can shut up about me being single all the time.”

You softly laugh, making Felix look at you for a moment, his heart skipping a few beats when your eyes meet for a little more seconds than usual. “I’m sorry. You can always text me, though, if you need anyone to talk or gossip with.” you say, averting your eyes from his.

“You’d have to be on your phone 24/7, then. My mental stability comes down by 70% when I’m back home and it’s already only on 15% now,” Felix snickers.

“Oh, I don’t mind. I’ll be staying here anyway.” you say, giggling.

“You’re not coming back home?”

“No,” you shake your head in disapproval, quickly glancing into his eyes before speaking up again, “it’s my parent’s wedding anniversary, so they’re going on a holiday. There’s no use in me coming home if I’m just going to be alone there anyway,” you shrug.

Felix hums, nodding in understatement. “That makes sense. I’m sorry you can’t meet your family on holidays, though.”

“It’s okay,” you say, “I see them often anyway. One Christmas won’t kill me. I have a whole season of Game of thrones to catch up on anyway.” you light-heartedly laugh, sounding like Felix’s favorite song. He smiles with you, shaking his head in disbelief at how positively you can always see the world, when he glances out of the window for a moment again, only to be met with a surprise. 

There are white flakes of snow falling from the sky and something in Felix wakes up-- something he’d call happiness, maybe even joy, when he quickly shoots up from his seat and calls you with excitement coating his voice, “Y/N! Y/N! Come on!”

“Come where? Felix, what are you-” 

He doesn’t let you finish as he takes you by the hand and tugs you on your feet, tugging you out of the empty bistro out into the dark parking lot, admiring the snowflakes falling onto the ground and every surface in his sight. He sees some stick into your hair, making him giggle as his outstretched hand dusts them off subconsciously, when he starts running around like a happy child, laughter coming out of his throat filling the silence.

“It’s snowing!” you exclaim, when Felix reaches your body frozen in its place again. He reminds you of a golden retriever when he jumps a little in his place, his feet happily crouching in the snow. You laugh at his antics when he starts acting like a little boy, this side of Felix being so new to you, yet you can’t help but feel your heart swell with admiration when he asks you to catch some snow into your mouth.

“Felix! That’s disgusting!” you refuse, laughing.

“Oh come on! It’s just water!” he cheers, leaning his head back and opening his mouth wide, waiting for the snow to fall into his mouth. 

“But it’s unhygienic and dirty! You have to be kidding me!” you still reject his idea, standing your ground firmly as always in your life so far, when a face of a boy looking like an angel takes you by surprise and his big eyes plead you in a way that makes you drop all your grudges and all your beliefs down, rolling your eyes when he pouts, leaning your head back as well and opening your mouth with a loud ‘aaaa’ sound to satisfy his foolish heart.

Once you both feel a snowflake hitting your tongues, you look at each other with your tongues out, laughing at how stupid the other one looks, pointing to your tongues. You shake your head. “It melted off, you stupid!”

“You did the same thing!” he bursts out laughing, bending over in the force of his emotions. You watch him with a wide grin plastered onto your face. It feels like watching a movie. You don’t think you’ll ever have a brighter memory with the boy in front of you, with his cheeks red from the snow and smile so wide it hurts both of your jaws.

You instinctively take his hands into yours, looking down on your feet as you start going around in a circle with him, going quicker and quicker as you watch your footprints in the snow mixing with his, the dry skin of his hands making you feel strange. You laugh out when your head starts spinning, looking up at him to find him already staring at you with stars in his eyes, when you wonder,

isn’t this how love is supposed to feel?

All of his life, Felix had thought that family gatherings could always either go two ways, and that is: 1) a normal, boring meet-ups where your grandma asks about how school’s going, when you’re going to finally find a partner and another one of your cousin’s announces their engagement party, or 2) the actual engagement parties-- every single family member including the senile grandma from mum’s side gets drunk and you don’t have to think about more fake reasons why you have yet to lose your virginity.

You see, Felix is wrong in a lot of things. And this was surely one of them-- it’s the December 27th and he’s sitting in his grandma’s old kitchen, the wind blowing through the cracks of her window and the sweets on the table have already melted from the heat being too high, because his aunt is always cold and they can’t compromise. That sounds fine, even usual, Felix would say, however, the fire lights up a few moments later when his head starts to hurt from all the talking and he begins to dissociate a little too much, meaning that his grandma now has to shift her attention from all of his other relatives to him, because how dare he stay quiet on a family gathering where he has nothing to add to the conversation, right?

It starts off as usual, the answers to these questions digged deep into Felix’s brain since the first year of college. He doesn’t even bat an eye when he answers the questions directed at his studies and grades, telling all of his interested relatives that he’s working hard and it’s paying off. Nobody complains or disagrees-- his grades are awesome. His degree is here soon. Felix almost thinks he’s over with when his grandma laughs at a poor joke that comes out of his mouth, but that was only a bad prediction as he moves on to questions about his love life, which are, believe me or not, much more boring and much more ego-hurting for the blonde.

“Do you have a girlfriend yet, Felix?” she asks, tone of voice sounding rather interested, but don’t believe her-- it’s only an act. She’s ready to laugh into his face when he gives her the answer she’s hoping for.

“No, not yet, grandma,” he mumbles, averting his eyes from her wrinkley face as soon as possible. He really doesn’t need to look at her any longer to know she’s silently judging him on the inside, because that’s just how his grandmother is. 

“That’s such a shame… I wonder why… You’re such a pretty young boy, aren’t you?” she mutters under her nose, tone almost whiney, “what about your roommate? Jisung, was it?”

Felix takes a deep breath in, closing his eyes for a second to calm his rising heart beat. He could have predicted questions like this coming, because the conversation always somehow diverted to his roommate even when he was at home with his family. It’s crazy, how everyone just seems to adore Jisung much more than their own family member. 

“He’s.. Yeah. He’s always with someone, you know him. Not now, though, now he’s single,” Felix nods, explaining.

“Well, I’m sure he’ll find someone soon,” she admits, “he’s such a gentleman. And so handsome as well, isn’t he?” she asks, his aunt from her right side nodding quickly at the mention of Han Jisung. 

“He always has so many people around him, he’s so charming. If only you were more like him, maybe then someone would date you as well,” his grandma says calmly, not even noticing the way her words cut deeper and deeper into Felix’s heart, kicking him and punching him like a boxing bag, “you should try to be more like him.”

Felix bites down on his lower lip, rolling his eyes. Frustration coats his voice once he speaks up, the built-up anger living inside of him like an animal kept well in its cage. He doesn’t want to let it out, because he fears what it might do once it’s free, but he still retorts to a dig addressed to his grandma, huffing in annoyance. “Should I send Jisung home instead of me next time?”

“Oh no, Felix, what are you even saying right now?” his grandma looks rather offended, eyes twice their usual size as she glares at him.

“Well, since you like him so much.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I was just saying that-”

“Leave it.” Felix says. 

The atmosphere is too heavy now, all eyes on him as if he was in a circus, watching him just moments before his breaking. He realises he no longer feels welcome in this place and maybe he never did, he just chose to ignore it by now, because that’s what he always does when a problem appears-- he chooses ignorance. Ignorance is Felix’s best friend, and although it may sound like he’s running away from his problems all the time, it’s always worked so far. He’s just protecting his heart, building walls around it. 

He doesn’t want to fight. He hates conflict. So, even though he’d like to snap, even though he’d like to leash out like an animal, he doesn’t. He steps back-- as he always does, taking the car keys from the table and escaping the house, hearing the calls of his mother after him. He doesn’t bother to say goodbye, he doesn’t even bother to look back nor take the Christmas gifts his grandma brought for everyone. 

He sits into the small white Renault he drives once a year when he comes back home, starts the engine and speeds up to the limit, driving away from all of his problems. He doesn’t want to hear their complaints, he doesn’t want to listen. It’s the best this way. He wants to ignore the words that came out of his grandma’s mouth, but he can’t find it in him as he hears them resonate in his head over and over again. 

He’s the second choice even in his own family. He’s a joke to everyone, isn’t he? Just the side character, the one that never gets the spotlight. It hurts, it hurts him so much, but he pays no attention to his blurry vision, because even though he’s fairly sure no one from his family would miss him, he doesn’t want to drive off the road and kill himself with his escape.

He parks the car in front of his and Jisung’s flat after a few hours. He’s fairly good at it, considering he never drives, and mentally puts up a middle finger to his dad in his head for screaming at him so much. He was in a much calmer headspace when he was driving with his dad than he was now, yet, he didn’t manage to drive anyone over. 

Putting his feet into the cold, empty apartment, turning the heating on and plopping down on the sofa, he once again realises how lonely it feels. Not only because of the feeling of abandonment the dark flat resonates, but also due to the fact that it truly feels like now, he’s all alone in this world. The silence screams louder than any words ever could, his ears lowly ringing without any sound in the small room, which makes him wonder if he’s truly the only one that has to spend his holidays pretty much alone. Maybe it’s his fault that he’s fucked it up with his family, who knows-- but that’s a topic for another overthinking session of his, when he decides to let it go once his eyes meet the snow silently falling down behind the window. 

The dark mixed with the white balls of fluff in the air remind him of you. Your bubbly laugh, the feeling of your skin on his when you held his hands and danced around with him in the snow. He feels a smile growing on his face, despite everything he’s heard today, his fingers involuntarily texting you to see if you’re doing anything and if you can hang out with him today. 

He meets you at the door a few minutes later, your nose runny from the cold and hands dry, smiling at you with a sense he can only describe as belonging, because he realises, maybe you feel just as lonely as him on holidays and suddenly, he no longer feels sorry for leaving.

“Why are you even here, Lix? Shouldn’t you be at home?” you ask him when you’re taking off your shoes and hanging your coat on the hanger by the door. He bites down on his lower lip to suppress a bitter chuckle. 

“Christmas got cancelled this year.” he shrugs. 

It’s not like he doesn’t trust you. You know better than anyone what his struggles are-- he asked you to keep his secrets numerous times. It’s just that now that you’re here, it’s like his soul finally feels calm and he no longer wants to whine about his grandma or his aunts anymore. It’s just you and him and the empty apartment. If he was anyone else, maybe he’d try to get into your pants. He’s just Lee Felix though, and he’s absolutely, wholeheartedly in love with you, he realises, and believe me, it kind of takes him over the edge, and so he doesn’t try anything. 

And you look at him in understatement, no other questions asked.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s all a capitalistic holiday anyway,” he shrugs.

You follow him into the living room and he throws the remote control into your lap, telling you to choose a movie before he comes back with popcorn. 

“If you don’t pick anything before I’m done, we’ll just watch Venom, I don’t care,” he says, seeing you adorably scrunch up your nose at him in response. 

When he comes back and you’re waiting for him with Howl’s moving castle paused on Netflix, he can’t help but grin at you. He places the popcorn on the coffee table and notices himself staring onto your body next to his far more often than the TV and wonders if he really drove away from all of his problems or if he just drove away from one problem to another, because now, it’s getting really hard to focus on staying away from you. 

And when you shiver and curl up into his side, placing your head onto his shoulder, he can’t help but jolt at the contact, staring at you in surprise. 

“It’s cold,” you mumble, pouting.

Felix smiles. He rolls his eyes at you, even though on the inside, he finds you absolutely adorable, taking a blanket from the side of the sofa and putting it over your cold bodies, tucking you both in. You feel warm against his side, your hand resting on his chest. He wonders if you can feel his quickening heartbeat, his stiff body and the nerves rising in his heart. Everything else disappears, the fight back home long forgotten and Han Jisung left somewhere home with his own family, the weight of your body overwhelming him when you fall asleep and that’s when he stops and thinks,

isn’t this how home’s supposed to feel like?

The halls of the university building are empty as Felix stands right in front of the closed door, silently pacing around the corridors and bumping his knee up and down. He just got his final’s results and even though his soul was supposed to be at peace, he finds himself stressing over you, currently sitting in the room behind the closed door in front of him, getting your final’s results from biology back. The professor decided to split your class into two groups for the finals so you can, quote, ‘focus better when there’s less people around’ and even though you managed to cheat on your exams without any problems, he still wonders if you did well and if you passed. 

Once the voices behind the closed doors get louder and louder, he figures it’s near the end of your lecture and he can finally see you again and ask you how you did. 

The last time he talked to you without the stress of finals breathing onto your back was back on Christmas break-- more than a week ago. Ever since then, you two have been meeting in the middle of the night again, preparing for your upcoming tests. You didn’t really manage to talk a lot about anything else and even though Felix didn’t mind, he still missed your mindless rambles and weird jokes you used to crack when you weren’t stressing your mind off. 

The door opens and reveals people coming out, a few of them wearing a toothy grin on their faces as they glance on the paper in their hands, a few of them frowning as they pin their eyes to the ground. It’s not easy to differentiate the ones that passed and the ones who did not do that well and even though Felix feels sorry for them, he wonders why they just don’t cheat their way out of bad grades just how he does. It’s not that hard. It just takes a lot of practice. 

Once he finally sees your face, a big, toothy grin decorating your lips, a big stone falls off his heart, a weight lifts itself from his shoulders, because frankly, you wouldn’t look so happy if you failed, right? You’re not a total psychopath.

“How did you-” 

His words are cut off from his mouth, all air kicked out of his body once he feels you so close, the soft skin of your lips pressed up against his in a happy kiss. He’s startled, to say the least. His cheeks are reddening in the instance and he doesn’t even know if time stopped or if it’s just the rising anxiety and excitement in his chest, but he bites down the confusion and kisses you back finally, closing his eyes and bringing you close by your shoulders. The kiss is a little sloppy and messy, but he doesn’t mind-- all that’s occupying his mind right now is you, your sweet lips, your mouthy kiss, your excited hands creeping up around his neck, your bag that fell to the ground next to his feet, your exam paper marked with the big red A+ flying around the two of you when you let it fall from your grasp, your hair tickling his cheeks, you, you, you.

There’s only you. In the air he breathes, in the ground he walks on, in his hands and on his mind. You’re everywhere. Intoxicating.

You pull away from him after a while, grinning at him. It still manages to startle him a little-- how just the small gesture can light up his whole world, how your smile can make him feel like he’s the luckiest person on this earth. He sees stars in your eyes and he wonders who put them there, hoping to be the one, believing he could finally be the one, with how you look at him and hold him in your arms-

but it’s Felix’s life we’re talking about. There’s only you, you, you and maybe somewhere, far away in the distance, there could even be him, but who’s always there for sure is Han Jisung.

Han Jisung staring at the two of you from the open door, mouth agape in shock. Han Jisung with trembling hands, Han Jisung with his books clutched close to his chest as Felix’s heart drops and reality finally hits him. You were never supposed to be his to kiss. You were supposed to be Jisung’s-- his roommate’s, his best friend’s -- you fell for him long, long ago and that’s how it’s always been. 

He opens his mouth to say something, anything, to comfort his dear friend that looks like he’s heart’s being broken, but he finds no words in him to console his actions. He feels bad, he feels so, so guilty when their eyes meet, but he doesn’t manage to say anything before Jisung turns around the corner and leaves. 

The sound of Jisung’s quick steps is the only thing resonating in Felix’s mind like a bell, a signal for him that he fucked up, he did a really, really bad thing. 

His insides clutch and eyes water in the empty college corridor when he wonders,

is this how it feels to break someone’s heart?

You kick the small rocks beneath your feet, gazing into the distance. The cold in your bones makes you shudder, your eyes trailing around the neighbourhood so foreign to you, putting your hands into your pockets so you shelter your fingers from the frozen air. You think how this place looks exactly as you imagined it to-- tall apartment complex and a single big tree in front of it, the cars parked in the driveway obviously having their spot as the neighbours have lived together for a long time to know not to park anywhere else, because it’s more efficient this way. 

You’re waiting and waiting, hoping to see the one you’re waiting for soon, because you doubt your confidence will last you for any longer if you don’t talk to him now. You could lie and tell yourself it’s okay and that you’re not nervous at all, but after Jisung ran away the other day and his roommate followed him a few moments later, you feel nervousness creeping into your skin after not seeing or hearing from Felix for three days now. 

You remember him telling you that he likes to go for late-night convenience store runs every evening to get his favorite snacks. It wasn’t hard to find out where he lives-- it’s the 21st century, for god’s sake. You asked a friend of his friend and here you are, waiting  for him to appear in the door of his apartment complex, ready to talk to him about the events of this week.

Once you hear the door opening, you feel your head snap to its direction quicker than the speed of light, knees almost getting weak at the sight of Lee Felix standing there, confusion written all over his face once his eyes meet with yours. The frown forming on his face only deepens your stress as you wonder if he didn’t want to see you today, which, considering the fact that he’s been ignoring you for the past few days, might just be the case, but it still makes your heart break just a little when you hear him sigh once he makes his way over to you, the sound of his sneakers on the ground being the only thing heard in the middle of the night.

All the snow has melted-- as if all the bright things have left just in time with it, leaving you sad and cold, the clouds of your breath hitting the cold air being the only thing reminding you of the weather as you feel your body heating up in his presence. 

“Can we talk?” you ask, voice steadier than you expected it to be.

“I- I mean,” he starts, a shaky and husky voice hitting your ears, signaling that he probably hadn’t spoken to anyone for a long time now, “you’re already here, so I guess…”

You nod at him, averting your gaze quickly to the ground, when you realise you suddenly don’t know what to say. You try to search for words, yet none come out of your mouth. Your mind is blank and it seems like his presence took away all your vocabulary, but deep on the inside, you know damn well that if you don’t speak up now, you won’t have a second chance and you really have to get it now.

“Why- why…” you mutter, “why did you leave without saying anything the other day?” you ask.

The silence is overwhelming as you start to hate the sound of your own breath, opting to hold it for a few seconds as you await his response. 

“I mean, isn’t it obvious?” 

You shake your head in confusion, finally meeting his eyes again. “No.”

“Jisung… Jisung saw us. I didn’t feel like it was right,” he explains, cracking his knuckles in a nervous habit you noticed in him a long, long time ago when he first tried to teach you how to cheat in class without getting caught.

“What does he have to do with anything?”

“You two like each other.” he says bluntly, taking you off-guard.

The moment these words come out of his mouth, you realise not one, but two things. One of them is fairly new to you, the fact that Han Jisung liked you back was something you never knew you could experience, but even though you should be flattered, you realise it no longer holds a meaning in your heart. The second thing is connected to the first-- and that is, Lee Felix doesn’t know that you like him now. His foolish, silly mind convinced him you were still in love with his best friend, his confused and frustrated brain didn’t let him realise that for a long, long time now, the freckled boy in front of you has been the only one you thought about when you were falling asleep at night.

You don’t even know when it happened. You guess it just did. You wondered how it’d feel to know what exactly made you fall for Felix, what that moment was, but something inside of you is telling you that maybe, it was even more wonderful this way. Unexpected, but totally reasonable.

“Why would I be kissing you if I still liked Jisung?” you ask, the fear of directly confessing to him and getting rejected creeping up in your shadow.

“I- I don’t know-”

“Exactly.” you cut him off before he rambles and manages to find a stupid, silly reason in his head to justify his wrong expectations. You know how he is-- if he overthinks things hard enough, he’ll surely find an answer. There’s none, though, so you don’t dare to give him time to think about it and ponder on the thought for any longer.

“But that doesn’t matter now anyway,” he shrugs, putting his hands into his pockets.

You wonder what’s going on inside of his head right now. You wonder if he regrets what he’s done-- if he wants to turn back time and never let you kiss him. The nerves make you bite down harshly on your bottom lip and you only catch yourself when you feel iron in your mouth, quickly licking your own wound on the surface of your mouth and take a deep breath in. 

“Why?” you ask. 

“Why would it?” he says, eyes boring into yours.

“Because… I thought it meant something to you? I mean, it meant a lot to me, at least. That’s why I’m even here in the first place,” you chuckle airly, feeling your throat get dry.

“I’m not saying that it didn’t, I just think it had no point.”

His words feel like knives thrown into your chest, like a fire burning the pit of your stomach. You feel your legs getting weaker at his arguments, your fingers harshly tugging at the skin of your cuticles hidden in your pockets. You don’t trust your voice to sound steady this time when you speak, but you don’t care. Maybe it’s time to show your real emotions. Maybe it will change Felix’s mind.

“And why is that?”

“Because people like you don’t date people like me. You’re supposed to be in love with Jisung. You’re supposed to be dating him, he’s supposed to date you. You’re too good for me anyway.” he shrugs.

“Is this all about Jisung?” you ask, eyebrows furrowed.

You watch Felix sharply inhale in and out, averting his eyes from your figure. The distance between the two of you is unnatural, as if to singal how the two of you are slowly drifting apart. You see him fold his hands on his chest, preparing for what he’s about to say.

“It hurt him, back then. And I hate that. He loves you and I just.. I can’t do that to him, when I know  how much he cares about you.” he says.

Love is a strange thing. You hear Felix say how much Jisung loves you, but is that really true? Does Han Jisung even know you? The real you?

Does Jisung know how you look with your mouth full of fries and a greasy forehead? Does he know how you look when you’re stressed out of your mind because of finals? Does he know your favorite bistro, does he know your favorite movie? Did you cuddle up with Jisung on the couch just because you wanted to be close to him, comfort him and tell him you’re there just a few days after Christmas? 

Or does he just know the self you put up in front of him when you went to meet him? The put-together you that cares even about the sound of your own laugh, not wanting it to sound ugly in his ears? 

Han Jisung can’t love you. He doesn’t even know you.

And you never loved him-- just for the same reason. The feelings you had for him were merely a feeling of attraction, so far away from love.

But now you know how you feel about Felix, how his smile lights up the world and how his presence makes you feel understood. How even the silence with him speaks louder than a million words, how he knows you like the back of his hand and how he treats you like his closest friend. You know that what you feel when you’re with him is stronger than anything you ever have and although it used to scare you for a moment, now you’re ready to embrace it and live with it, if he lets you.

Lee Felix doesn’t tell you he loves you. Maybe you can see it in his eyes.

Why does he have to put everything above love? Why does he care about Jisung more than you? It’s breaking your heart. 

“Felix… I’m sure he’d understand. He’s a good person. I’m sure he’d want you to be happy.”

“Y/N, you don’t understand-”

“He’s a grown adult!” you yell out, the built-up emotions coming to the surface in the form of frustration, your words sunding spiteful and angry. Maybe you are furious, maybe you are full of fire right now, but it’s all because of the boy in front of you and the things he refuses to let himself enjoy.

“Why do you even care about it so much, huh? I was your fucking second choice all along anyway!” 

You look at him in shock, your eyes watering at the sight of the frown sitting on his face. Something inside of you breaks and you think it’s safe to say it was your heart, choking you up as you shake your head in disapproval. 

“Felix-” you protest, but there’s no use.

You see him turn around on his heel, opening the door to the apartment complex and leaving. It feels like you’re losing him, it feels like he’s gone forever. He turned his back on you, refusing all the love you were willing to give him, all the love you were offering to him right here, your heart in your hands.

He gave up on your love.

People in movies go out to party after a break-up to get drunk and numb their feelings. They either go to the club or go to a stupid college party, which is, coincidentally, your case today, but you’re not here to get drunk tonight. You’re not here to drown out your feelings and numb your pained soul-- you’re simply here to try to have some fun.

Your mum told you long, long ago that happiness is a choice. You could argue with her and tell her that depression and heartbreak aren’t a choice and that they, by themselves, are causing people the most sadness, but you had to give your mum a point. If you don’t choose to try, if you don’t do anything to at least try to stimulate your own brain, you can’t expect happiness to find you by itself. That’s just, sadly, not how life works, and you weren’t going to drown out in your own tears just because of Lee fucking Felix, because if you weren’t worth trying for him, he’s not worth any of your tears.

You appear on Lee Haechan’s end of the semester party. You have A+ finals to celebrate and although you would be much happier to drink to them with the one that basically helped you get through the semester, you won’t pass the chance to socialize. You worked hard and you did a good job-- you deserve a party. Alcohol truly isn’t the best for your brain, but you will just decide to call it selfcare. It’s not like you’re getting blacked-out drunk tonight anyway.

You manage to have small talk with a few people from your class. Though it’s not exactly what’s stimulating your brain, you don’t mind it. You barely know these people and you couldn’t care less, but you guess this is the downside of socialising. 

The alcohol in your veins doesn’t give you a chance to loosen up, though. You only feel your body warmer with the beer hitting your system, but your feelings still taste of salt, your brain not cooperating with your grandiose happiness plan and you think the people talking to you notice, since no one really tries to keep you in a conversation long enough when you start to absently nod at them and pay zero attention to what they’re saying. You don’t blame them, though. You’d probably do the same in their place.

Your feet move their way to the front door when you decide that maybe your mum wasn’t right, completely ready to go home and pity yourself for a few more days before coming back to life, when a familiar voice calls you from behind, making you freeze in your spot.

“Y/N, long time no see.”

Han Jisung watches you with glossy eyes, yet he tries to look nonchalant at the sight of you. It doesn’t feel like his heart is breaking when he sees you right here and there, chewing on your bottom lip, more or less, it feels numbing to his heart and his head. It’s like he expected it all from the start-- the outcome that once so surprised him. But after all this time he spent overthinking and dwelling on the memory of seeing you kissing his best friend, it made sense to him. 

“Jisung…”

He can see your eyes growing worried when you watch over him and he mentally slaps himself for not handling his emotions with more care back then. He could have spared you a lot of pain and trouble if he hadn’t reacted in such a way in the doorway of your classroom, but the truth is, Han Jisung hadn’t really known just how much a true heartbreak feels and nothing could ever prepare him for the physical pain numbing his chest. He didn’t know it could hurt so much. 

He doesn’t want to worry you. You are still his friend, after all, right? That’s all you always have been and he should have understood it from the first moment he saw you gaze at his friend so lovingly in the university halls one day. He thinks you, yourself, didn’t even recognise the emotion in you when you watched over Felix with so much care, with so many stars in his eyes and a big grin on your face. He could never compare himself to Felix.

He doesn’t want to worry you anymore, and so he decides to talk to you like a friend would. You looked like you could use a friend tonight.

“How have you been?” he asks, smiling at you. He hopes his eyes convey the emotion he feels-- how after all this time, he still feels comfortable with you and desperately needs you to do the same. He can’t lose another friend. Not to love. 

That happens every single time. Truth be told, Jisung used to have a problem with differentiating true love from platonic feelings sometimes. He used to think he falls out of love just as quickly as he falls in, but the truth is that it was never even love at all. Sometimes, it was just pure admiration. Feelings for a friend. And he managed to ruin all his friendships just because he started dating them. 

And then, he just kept searching and searching for the right one, because no one ever felt right. No one ever made him feel loved, no one ever made him feel love. It felt suffocating, but so, so addicting. He could never give up on trying to find love.

And then he met you. And it finally made sense-- it finally felt right.

“I’m… I’m fine, thanks,” you say, smiling at him with that smile that still, admittedly, made his heart race and swell with love. He’s not afraid to call the emotion by its name. It doesn’t feel wrong. He used to think he wants it to stop, but the truth is, it still feels nice. 

Love feels like loneliness sometimes. It’s a bittersweet feeling. But it’s still so, so addicting.

“Are you sure?” he asks. He knows you. He knows when something’s wrong.

He also knows your eyes have been searching for his roommate for the past few minutes of your conversation. He knows you want to meet him and avoid him all at once, love him and leave him-- it was a paradox. 

He knows his roommate way too well, though. He knows he can’t fall out of love with you. He knows, though, that he’ll never act upon it. Lee Felix has always been the sweetest person in this whole entire world-- putting the needs of others before his own. He can’t keep doing this to himself.He can’t keep doing this to you.

“I think you know the answer, Jisung. Why do you keep asking, then?” you bitterly snicker, going around him and escaping the noisy house. Jisung doesn’t know if you want to leave, if you want to escape his presence, but he can’t leave you just like that, and so he follows you outside, seeing you sitting at the doorstep, as if you were waiting for him.

“You don’t have to think of me, you know that, right?” he says once he takes a seat next to you, watching your expression change into a pained one. 

“It’s… I don’t know. It’s complicated. And Felix- he doesn’t think it’s right. I can’t force him into anything. It was his choice anyway,” you mutter. Jisung sighs heavily, the feeling your words on his chest heavy and solemn. He hates the fact that he is standing in the way of your happiness. He hates the fact that he is the problem, the invisible wall keeping you two from each other. 

“It’s simple, though.” he shrugs.

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion, a heavy sigh escaping your lips. He takes it upon himself to explain before you begin to tell him that it’s not, opting to open your eyes on his own.

“You two are in love with each other. So you should be together. Isn’t that simple?” he asks, smiling at you subtly.

You scoff and shake your head. “He gave up on us.”

“Did he, or did he just do what he felt was right?” Jisung argues. “You can’t keep hiding from each other. You can’t keep trying to ignore your feelings just because I like you. That’s not fair for either of you.”

You don’t argue with him this time. He wonders what’s going on inside of your head at the moment, with your eyebrows furrowed and your bottom lip trapped in your teeth. You look just like all the times he watched you during your tutoring sessions-- focused and lost in thought. It will feel weird to not see you in that way anymore, but he has to try.

The same way Lee Felix always tried for him.

“You’re too sweet, Han Jisung. What a shame our timing’s off.” you say, bitterness coating your voice. He looks up at you again, wondering what your words mean. “I used to like you back then, you know,” you smile.

Here it is, the strange emotion again. The emotion of almost physical pain, a hand squeezing his heart, a knife stabbed into his back. It feels like his world is crumbling down on him, because he’s stupid-- so stupid. He could have had you back then. He could have been with you all this time, only if he wasn’t late. He missed his biggest chance, the biggest opportunity, the happiest time of his life. All because he was too hesitant. 

He didn’t deserve you anyway.

“But now your timing’s right with Felix. Don’t waste that,” he says, biting through the pain.

Because the truth is, if anyone deserved love, it was his roommate. The one that refused you for him, the one that rejected you for him, the one that set him up on a date with you even though you invited him in the first place. The one who gave up on his love only so he wouldn’t hurt his friend. You could say that Jisung was too good for this world, but Lee Felix is the one that deserves the whole entire world, in his eyes.

Maybe these two were just too good of friends. Caring about the other one twice as much as about themselves. And that’s exactly why Jisung will get over this-- he’ll push you to his friend. So he could be happy, finally. 

“Jisung, I don’t know-”

“Do it,” he cuts you off, “reach out to him again. Try it. For me.”

y/n: meet me at the 8Bistro at 9 

Felix can’t believe himself when he finds his legs moving to the direction of the bistro at the edge of the town. He knows it’s the last one on your list, the one you invited him to so you could celebrate your finals in and he finds himself wondering if he could have gone here with you earlier only if the two of you didn’t share that kiss back then.

That damned kiss he couldn’t stop thinking about for the last few days-- even weeks, every time he opened his eyes in the morning and closed them when he was about to sleep. It kept following him like a curse, a thing he couldn’t escape, as if it was testing him like the snake tested Eve in paradise. Foreign fruit. 

You’re sitting there already when he arrives, fingers playing with each other as you gaze at the door in expectation. He sees your usual order already on the table, assuming you got here early, but it’s untouched as your knee bumps up and down under the table and you bite down harshly on your bottom lip.

He takes a seat, allowing himself to look at you again after such a long time. It feels like it’s been ages, yet you still look the same to him-- the same beauty that hit him when he first met you and shared his biggest secret with you.

“Why aren’t you eating? You have to finish off your list,” he mumbles awkwardly, motioning to the food at the table.

“I wanted to wait for you.” you say. Your voice is quiet, almost shy, when you speak to him. He wonders just how much he fucked up that it made you act this way. He knows it’s probably a lot, but considering he’s sitting here right now, he can still fix it.

At least he hopes so. 

“Did you.. Do you want to talk to me about something?” he asks, nervosity filling his veins as he feels his hands form a little swimming pool with just how much he’s sweating.

“Yes,” you nod, taking a deep breath in and out. He wonders if you’re just as nervous as he is. The answer is probably yes, considering your tense shoulders and restless legs, but he doesn’t comment on it as he watches you begin speaking again. “I wanted to tell you that I’m- I’m in love with you. And that it’s for real, and it’s for you and no one else,” you start, quickly wetting your lips and continuing again, “and I know you must feel like a second choice, or like you weren’t important to me at all, but that’s not true.”

“You helped me so much, really, but the more I hung out with you, the more I realised just how wonderful you are. And how your heart is so big, how you’re fun to be around…” you ramble, taking Felix by surprise with your heart-felt monologue, “and that Jisung is not the one for me, because, well, it was just.. it was just a crush. I didn’t know him. He didn’t even know me that well. Crushes… they don’t mean anything. They’re silly. But what I have with you, Felix…” you say, drifting your eyes away from him for a second,

“I know you. The real you. And you know me. You’ve seen me at my worst. You’ve seen me struggle and you know exactly how to help. You know me and I know you and the feelings I have for you are much more than a silly crush. I love you, Felix. And I don’t want to just forget about us.” you complete and Felix swears he can feel his eyes watering at your words. He chooses not to speak up, afraid of his voice breaking, afraid he’s going to embarrass himself in front of you. His emotions got the best of him and right here and now, no one else matters. 

It’s you. You that feels like home, you, the only girl he’s ever loved. You, the only girl that ever loved him back, you, who he foolishly rejected. 

You’re everywhere. In his veins, in his heart, in his foolish, stupid mind.

“Felix… I don’t want you to give up on us.” 

He looks up, seeing your sincere eyes and a look full of worry. You seem so wonderful to him, even now. You’re everything he’s ever dreamt of, a home without a roof and walls. With you, he feels at ease. He trusts you. He’s never felt this way for anyone before.

He watches you and he hears your laugh, he hears your whines when he used to tease you so much. He hears the sound of your memories when he chased you around in the snow. He hears the opening song of Howl’s moving castle, reminding him of the warmth he felt when you hugged him so close that evening.

He used to want to hate you. He should have known that could never be the case.

You’re all he needs-- all he wants. You’re everywhere he looks, in every beauty of the world and in everything that’s dear to him. 

You, you, you, you.

And so he decides-- it’s time to change his plan.

Lee Felix’s bullet-proof guide to loving you: 1) hold her hand, 2) get rid of the guilt, 3) lean in and kiss her.

“Does that mean you’re giving us a chance?” you ask, hopeful eyes glaring at him with millions of stars in them, sparkles swimming around in perfection.

“We’ll talk after you eat. You have a yelp review to write,” he laughs.

“Feli-”

Lee Felix’s bullet-proof guide to loving you: 4) shut her up by forcing french fries into her mouth.

“I love you too.”

#districtninewriters #this one means a lot to me i surely hope it appears in the tags bc if not i will cry #kafenetwork #kpopscape #straykidsland #stayhavennet #stray kids #lee felix #stray kids au #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids imagine #stray kids scenario #stray kids oneshot #lee felix au #lee felix angst #lee felix fluff #lee felix fanfic #lee felix fic #lee felix fanfiction #lee felix imagine #lee felix scenario #lee felix oneshot

[wingzie]

Brutally Honest Reactions to Jikook

It was requested on Twitter that I talk about the less positive posts about Jikook moments from my live reactions research. These will NOT include any screenshots, but I will discuss what I saw. I will continue to keep posting positive things about Jikook, but the fandom reaction towards Jikook is one of the reasons why I feel so strongly about supporting them so much. Please read ahead if you are interested. I will also keep it out of the Jikook tag.

I will quickly add my own experience here before I continue. I am an early 2019 ARMY. I didn't follow any BTS accounts on Twitter until after I caught up on content. I then started following Jikook accounts once I got braver, because I could see a clear difference in the way the fandom talked about them. (Or not at all in some cases.) It wasn't until I started following Jikook accounts, that I knew about GCF Tokyo. For a fandom that hyped up Jungkook being a director for LGO, his previous work and especially GCFT is rather ignored. Especially when it's obvious that Jungkook has always had an interest in making videos. 

GCFT

An important factor here is that GCFT was posted after Jimin's lovely twitter edit. From what I saw, no one had any real issues with Jimin's edit. The general consensus was that it was sweet that Jimin and Jungkook were finally able to go on a trip together and that Jimin made an edit out of it. But if that's the case, why were there then issues when GCFT was posted, that are still here today?

Compared to Jimin's edit, there is a clear sense of jealousy when GCFT was released. A "sweet trip" turned into a "not big deal" or started to include fake narratives. Some of which really confused me at first, until I asked someone at the time and got the truth. 

There is a sudden change of tone aimed towards Jikook: “How dare they go on a trip together?” and “how dare they share it with us this way?.”  It's clear to me that this jealously suddenly began because of the editing style, the camera shots and the song used. All of which made you feel a certain way when watching GCFT, if you were not so blind or bitter. However, the fandom did it's best to try to belittle JK's work. Saying excuses such as the song was not intentional or that the editing choices were coincidental. That's not the case at all and to quote a certain song "this is no coincidence."

There is an interesting notion that some shippers and y/n's turned to fan fictions after GCFT was released. This suggests to me that they did indeed in fact feel the same way about GCFT. They got the message loud and clear, but had to try to tune it out with another fantasy because of what they felt. They wanted what Jimin and Jungkook had for themselves or another member.

GCF's after GCFT

After GCFT there was a need to show: "look Jimin and Jungkook aren't that close." Which Jikook didn't get the memo of and it shows that people were keeping an eye on them. However, this was only to be able justify their negative thoughts about the possibility of two men being together. They couldn't stand the idea and came up with every excuse possible to deny it. There were a fair amount of “don’t assume their sexuality” posts floating around.

There was also a definite shift after GCFT with Jikooker’s themselves. Of course they were supportive, but much more discreet about it. Afterwards though ,and up through to today, they got louder about Jimin and Jungkook's bond. It's clear this reflects in the fandom perception of them together as a unit or just on the timeline itself. There is almost an annoyance whenever they show up.

The newer GCF’s turned more into a competition between the members. Something which sadly continued even with the Life Goes On MV. Rather than seen as a cute maknae trip in Osaka, GCFO was used as leverage against Jikook to prove that they weren't that close. Which is bizarre in itself and it was like Jimin wasn't in the video at all.

The outrage that sparked when GCFH was released showed the true hypocrisy of the fandom. Jungkook set the tone beautifully to match the Winter Package location of Helsinki. The fact so many quickly jumped on this, but ignored his skills previously is very telling. For all those yelling about appreciating Jungkook, they only yell when it's about making themselves feel better about something. 

Rose Bowl. I don't need to introduce this. However what I found interesting is that people outside of ARMY were more accepting of what happened than actual ARMY.  It also made me question what the definition of "ot7" is,  because these accounts were going around underneath posts with "stop shipping”, “they're just bros" or my most hated one "they do stuff like this in South Korea all the time."

The last one is an absolute hate of mine and is always used by NON Koreans. ARMY are often all about Korean culture until it's something they don't want to hear or know about. A general translation account has already pointed out that Jikook are extremely close due to lack of honorifics and it moe or less got ignored. Another account will mention the same , but for another unit, and it's worshiped to high heaven. Yet Jikooker’s are delusional for being the ones to understand the cultural significance of it?

Jungkook's Birthday in 2019

I am actually going to be calling out Jikooker’s here because the reverse happened this time. Others found Jimin’s Birthday video sweet, whereas Jikooker’s were being extremely rude and disrespectful ON the timeline towards Jimin about it. Plus the usual "Jikook broke up" malarkey that pops up twice a month happened. I only recently started researching this and I’m not even sure I can make a thread on it, because there was so much fighting on the Timeline about the Birthday video.

This is what spurred me on to write my twitter post about being careful about what you post and where your priorities lie. A lot of Jikooker’s were upset before Jimin posted. Not because "he hasn't posted.”, but because "he hasn't posted [for me]." 

This is something that Jikooker’s have to wrap their heads around. We only see a tiny percentage of their daily lives. They also have each other's phone number and see each other daily. They also know each other extremely well and probably better than any of us actually will. It is not up to us what they post or what we see. Do we miss them? Of course. However, to instantly start hating them for that is wrong. You're acting just like the fandom first did when GCFT came out. These same people also acted like nothing had happened as soon as Jimin posted the photo of Jungkook later on.

Seoul Final

For those that don't remember Rose, she was a k-army translator that went to Seoul Final. In one of her live shows afterwards, she explained how other Karmy were surprised by Jikook's closeness on stage. It wasn't just us.

However ,on Naver, there was a storm brewing about Jimin treating Jungkook inappropriately and the way they were acting on stage. This was first started by Jungkook akages and then spread around to some of the fandom who decided to jump in. 

This is one example of people using K-army as a weapon. That they know *best* when they suffer the same on their side with solos etc... It's also another example of the hatred towards Jimin. 

This isn't something new. Shipping was fairly peaceful and kept its original definition of wanting two people to be together. Even if this did include two real people. It wasn't until the definition of shipping morphed into something new and possibly real, that things started to erupt in the fandom. And this eruption was sadly placed onto Jimin, as people saw him as a disruption to their fantasies. 

This defamation of both Jimin and Jungkook's character from the fandom has been present since the beginning. They are seen as liars or not intelligent. That their closeness is fake, even though you can clearly see it from the start and then develop over the years. It's something that has always been beautiful to witness whilst watching, old content and new.

These examples of fandom reactions I have used are ones all related to expectations. If Jimin and Jungkook do not act as expected or they shock the fandom, one side will react negatively. The fandom also do not seem to like seeing Jikook be so loud, so to speak. And with the emergence of more Jikooker’s on social media, this horrid view of them will no doubt increase  Though many hate the term Jikook. It signifies the unit of Jimin and Jungkook and no matter what, they will do what they want too and continue to do so. Thank you for reading and feel free to ask questions if you have any!

#wingzie #wingzieobservation

[interact-if]

Day 3 of A/PI Heritage Month featured authors interview! Please perceive... Jess!

Jess, author of A Bard's Tale

A/PI Heritage Month Featured Author

It takes place on the fictional continent of Amaran, a high fantasy setting based on Asian and Pacific Islander cultures as opposed to traditional Eurocentric high fantasy.

In the wake of a terrible war, you are a young bard just starting your journey. Will you answer the call to adventure and embark to rouse the sleeping gods?

(INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!)

Q1: First of all, introduce us to your project! What is it about?

A Bard’s Tale is a story about a bard, and about a few more bards, and a world that is still living in the wake of war and occupation.

More specifically, it is the story of a bard (you!) and your quest to wake Amaran’s sleeping gods. The Bard has been experiencing recurring dreams prior to the start of the story, calling them to the capital city of Mahar’il – where they meet a colorful cast of companions and take the first steps of their journey.

A Bard’s Tale mixes old faithful D&D/RPG elements with dating sim-esque romance, and doesn’t take itself too seriously. The result is some good, clean fun. (Or dirty, depending on your choices.)

Q2: If it’s not too spoilery, what are you most excited about your project?

(Future scenes, can’t wait for readers to get to xyz place in the plot, etc.etc.)

I am most excited for readers to take their first steps onto the road. Mahar’il is meant to be a “home,” of sorts, and so these first chapters are adamant about familiarizing the reader with the city and the people they can expect to find here. But Amaran is so much bigger. I’m excited for people to see some of the other cities and regions that they’ve been only briefly introduced to so far, and also to get cracking on the complicated dynamics of Aspen and Tempest.

Q3: What inspired the current project you’re working on?

I’ve been working and playing in the larger world of Valia for a long time – through homebrewing D&D campaigns, and through the novel I am also working on, which takes place a continent away and a few hundred years in the past.

A Bard’s Tale sprung from the thought of “What will this world look like when this is all over?” “How will these people start to heal?” And, of course, “If I wrote a dating sim, who are Amaran’s most eligible bachelor(ette)s?”

Q4: Do you pull from your own identity for inspiration? How has that been reflected in your work?

I do! I am a biracial Korean-American, and both my parents were also born in America. It comes with a lot of diaspora blues, which I try not to project onto my characters that live in a fictional high fantasy world where racism and borders don’t have to exist. I admit that it tends to project pretty heavily anyway on the half-elves, Edin and Han.

The influence from my cultural background will become more evident the farther from Mahar’il that we get – particularly in the Jinju and Kujaku regions, which are inspired by Joseon-era Korea. (Loosely, in Kujaku’s case.)

Mahar’il is a cultural melting pot, and my inspiration for it is actually, largely, San Francisco. I’ve always admired the architecture of SF, and how the juxtaposition of antique and modern, ethnic (particularly Asian) and American, creates a sort of chaotic harmony.

However, I feel that it is important to note that the perspective from which I write is that of an Asian-American, and not just an Asian. My story is not rooted in Asian mythology, nor does its structure reflect Asian media and literature, because my foundation is largely Western.

Q5: What’s been your experience so far? With writing, with the if community...

Writing has always been second nature to me. Translating that to game code has been a bit tricky but I manage. And if I get stuck, I’ve made plenty of friends in the IF community, both authors and readers, who are more than willing to lend a hand.

In terms of my readers, I feel so, so blessed by you guys. I started this for fun, truly, thinking no one would be willing to read such a niche story and certainly not clamor for more than a demo. The support I’ve gotten from the community has been astounding, and I’m truly grateful for it.

Q6: Finally, what piece of advice would you give to fellow authors?

My biggest advice is do what makes you happy, and write from your heart. Inspiration will not always be there when you want it to be, and that’s okay. Set out a pot of coffee and a nice inviting blanket for when that fickle mistress decides to appear. Don’t shy away from projects that aren’t capturing your attention, but don’t devote more time to them than you want to. No one is judging your pile of half-finished drafts, except yourself.

Go where the wind takes you, even if it’s not “profitable” or even “good,” because every minute that you spend writing makes you a better writer. And on that note, write write write. I don’t think you need to set a daily timer, or whatever Stephen King said in his self-help book, but if you make a habit of it you will see progress. And read read read. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so read voraciously – and take a scalpel to your favorite books. Learn from them, dissect them, understand what makes them tick and then sprinkle a little of that in your own work.

And finally, fix your sleep schedule. I know you need to.

#if: events #Asian/Pacific Islander Month 2021 #Asian/Pacific Islander Heritage Month 2021 #a/pi month #a/pi month 2021 #aapiheritagemonth #aapi month #interactive fiction #authors of color

[tundrainafrica]

some of the aot fans (probably just casual readers) don't see the parallels between EM and LH???? like the brunettes desire to live with their ackermans together in the woods? they call levihan shippers delusionals. their attacking levihans that they didn't read the manga well and we just want our ship to be canon??? WTH????

I keep wondering if it's just us, levihans, who see these parallels?

im sorry for this rant, it's just soooo frustrating. Basically the reason why i leave twt lol not yet, im still there bcoz of lh filo socmed aus

I have so many things I wanna say about chapter 138 and I am so sorry I only got to it now. I think most Levihan fans already said what I wanted to say but either way, I’ll just give some thoughts I entertained when these came out. 

Coz first of all… 

As a Levihan shipper, I am obviously ecstatic about this but as most people know, I come from a household where everyone is not too enthusiastic about Levihan. They are so very enthusiastic about INVALIDATING LEVIHAN in particular that my sister and my parents who don’t even watch AOT just come up to me while I’m staring at Levihan art on tumblr and go… 

“What are you doing?” 

“Staring at art.”

“Oh, is that the one couple you like who don’t even love each other or smthg.” 

Cause apparently my sisters who watch AOT and my boyfriend have been SO vocal about invalidating Levihan that even my parents now are on ship that they aren’t even a thing and I’m just delusional but yes, since I live in a house where literally ‘shipping Levihan’ is on the same level as ‘the curtains are blue so the narrator is sad’ type of interpretation, I will start by mentioning a more pragmatic argument to this whole Levihan and Eremika parallel. 

While I am one of those who can definitely see that yes those were clear parallels, there are some louder people( mostly Eruri shippers) who think that LH fandom is just grasping on straws and trying to diminish their supposedly canon ship( because EL and EM ackerbonding thing) so I was wondering what is your view on this?

So, to break down the argument...

It’s a war story blah blah blah. And besides Mikasa loved Eren from the start blah blah blah. 

I think this is an argument I see a lot. Because Yams is writing a war story and I think a lot of people are suggesting that it’s a war story here is no way anyone can be canon or anyone can have romantic relationships. 

AND I HATE THIS TAKE. Relationships are human nature. Yes, being arromantic exists but I don’t believe that in a fictional space, romance can ever NOT exist. Because most---or scratch that--- I believe all humans will search for companionship and I do not believe it is ever reaching to jump from whatever companionship exists between people and contemplate the potential of romance, except incest but that’s another story. 

Yeah because if there’s no kiss or sex then it’s not a romance apparently. 

Well guess what, we’re all reaching then, cause only Eren and Mika got the kiss. But lemme drop some social experiment I did. 

I actually showed the Eremika and Levihan ‘Let’s live together scenes’ side by side to a colleague at work who doesn’t watch AOT and she told me, WITHOUT CONTEXT, that she prefers the scene between Levihan more than Eremika and the reason behind that is because there were undertones, specifically in the Korean translation’ that Hange was tired, and there’s this apparent romantic-ness to it when you dream of something when you’re tired and when you dream of a particular someone. 

Because here’s the thing, when you love someone, when you decide to be in a  relationship with someone, that person will be your HOME. And now that I think about it, it definitely hits for me more, because when Hange was tired, when Hange was completely exhausted and spent, she dreamt of a future with Levi. 

And don’t you think that it’s more romantic that ‘despite everything, she thinks of him’ compared to ‘she constantly thinks of him?’ Because I dunno, when someone is constantly thinking of someone, there’s actually no effort really needed for the feeling to grow, but when ‘they think of someone, despite everything.’ There’s this idea that the relationship can withstand more things and that means they thought long and hard about it. 

Their life is so interesting and eventful, yet at the end of the day, there exists someone who still shines brighter than life itself and that’s why ‘Despite everything, she thinks of him’ rings brighter than ‘she constantly thinks of him’ for me at least. 

Probably a personal preference thing but either way… Just my take. 

Western people don’t consider running away ‘romantic?’ 

This is something I’ve discussed with filo moots multiple times and this is something I’ve thought about reading the Japanese and English translations, reading the Filipino Soc Med AUs and having my friend read the Korean ones.  

The Japanese and Koreans are quick to see the romantic undertones, a lot of my Filipino moots are quick to see those romantic undertones too. But we have the western fandom on Reddit going ‘Yo Erehisu foh evah’ and people saying ‘Levihan not canon they didn’t kiss.’ 

But YO both of my parents are ‘tanan’ (runaway in tagalog) babies. My mom actually ran away with a man and wasn’t allowed to talk to her dad until she graduated. My dad disobeyed his parents to marry my mom. They were setting my dad up with another woman and they were going to have a big wedding and everything but my dad was like…

NOPE Imma run away and marry this woman. 

And can I just say, my parents are the MOST unromantic people but they literally disobeyed their parents, ran away together, literally risked their relationships with their parents to make it work. 

And my parents are one of the few people in their family who are still in a happy relationship even after 25 years of marriage. 

Okay, I admit, sometimes running away is a dumb decision and shouldn’t constantly be romanticized. 

But I don’t think a lot of people understand the gravity of what ‘tanan’ entails. Legit, it was emphasized in 138 already, if Eren ran away, Paradis could have been overrun by military soon. And if Hange and Levi ran away to the woods, ‘what would there have been left for them? 

And in real life, my mom literally gave up her relationship with her dad to try to make the relationship work. My dad gave up the comforts of marrying a rich woman in a lavish wedding to marry my mom. 

They literally had a civil wedding, went out to eat Chinese noodles and China town as a post wedding meal and 25 years later, they have one of the strongest relationships I’ve ever seen. 

AND NO ONE RUNS AWAY WITH SOMEONE FOR THE LELZ. So yes, running away with someone will always be romantic for me.

And the Ackerbond?

Something I always find myself asking. Why do people want the Ackerbond to actually be a thing? Because if the Ackerbond were real, then wouldn’t that invalidate all Eruri and Eremika even more since we know they’re just trapped in the relationship like Stockholm syndrome or something? 

And besides didn’t Yams debunk that chapters ago? 

Anyway, onto the next questions

hi sav! i have a question about the recent chapter. do you think the em and lh parellels were done on purpose by isayama? 

And to answer this question… I am not so sure actually. I talked to a Japanese friend who grew up in the same prefecture as Yams, apparently it was her acquaintance from high school who married Yams and they were childhood sweethearts. 

So maybe Yams got it from them?  My memory on that convo is hazy but it’s only possible that he built Eremika from there. And Levi and Hange’s development is just incredibly different that I don’t think Yams thought that far to do it. 

My theory here is that Yams is writing a war story and he only has one way he could have ever shown romance in a war story and that’s through ‘running away’ so I believe the parallels are unintentional but I genuinely believe that this was Yam’s way of showing romantic undertones. 

And I personally do not think that Levi and Hange would have ever kissed in that time in their life, at least intentionally and I hoenstly commend Yams for doing such a good job with the subtlety of the romance because I’ve literally seen so many great characters in other stories completely butchered by a poorly done romantic subplot so I aint complaining about these romantic undertones. 

But either way,

I hang in the Japanese fandom a lot and there have been lots of fandom discussion on Levihan becoming endgame if 132 didn’t happen. And there are actually articles on this putting Levihan as endgame along with Eremika so I’m kinda suspecting that invalidating Levihan is an anime-only fan and reddit fandom type of thing.

But anyway, thank you for reading, sorry for the long rant.

#levihan #meta

[failedthetopikexam]

My Top Korean Resources [2020 edition]

I have been discussing resources with a few people on private message and have been thinking a bit about what resources were the best on my journey.... so here’s my final (maybe) compilation of resources for the year that will hopefully be helpful for anyone who is looking at resources between the beginners and upper intermediate levels.

NB. This list is based off materials I have used in the past and is not an exhaustive list of ALL the resources I have used - it is just a selection of some of my favourite. There are so many Korean resources out there so there might be some that work more for you that I haven’t even looked at.

Course Texts

In my opinion, the perfect course text isn’t going to teach you everything you need to know, but a good course text will at least give you a clear framework to chunk up and guide your studies. I have used a few but the most user friendly one is definitely:

Talk To Me In Korean - they set things out clearly so nothing feels overwhelming and provide a sensible framework to follow for self-study. Other course books tend to be better suited for in-class settings and not great for self-study.

Grammar

The course texts will teach you about grammar but I think they don’t teach you how the grammar structures are related to each other. So I think it is key to look at one or more of these books:

Korean Grammar In Use: Beginners

Korean Grammar In Use: Intermediate

The above series is incredible and a serious MUST for all Korean learners. They clearly and concisely set out the grammar points and show how they are all related to each other. There is an Advanced book as well which I have yet to use and will teach quite complex structures.

Basic Korean: A Grammar and Workbook (I have linked the forthcoming version being released in Dec 2020!)

Intermediate Korean: A Grammar and Workbook

The above Routledge series is great for its workbook feature. The layout is a little academic so it’s not super appealing but the way they explain grammar is clear and relatively detailed. The number of examples included in the workbook is fantastic, providing a lot of opportunity to practice. I haven’t used the Basic book but if it is anything like the Intermediate, it will be a winner.

Vocabulary

The part that people often miss out when learning Korean is vocabulary, because it can be so easy to just follow course texts and grammar books, but those will never teach enough words. To learn more vocab, it is really important to read around. There are so many Korean language books that you can pick up, but here are some books and resources that are catered specifically for language learners that I have loved:

Korean Culture in 100 Keywords - they give a paragraph on different cultural aspects of Korea in both Korean and English and highlight all the new vocabulary for you. The texts are graded from easy to more difficult.

News in Korean - lots of short news stories with translations in English and comprehension questions. Might be targeted more at intermediate learners

Mind Map TOPIK VOCA 2300 - this book sorts vocabulary into categories and shows them as mindmaps. It also gives readers sentences in context and has mini quizzes, HOWEVER it is written in 98% Korean so this is a book that is definitely more pitched at upper intermediate levels and above and teaches vocabulary that is a little less common 

Anki - my most used resource. Everyone has their own favourite for flashcards and this is mine. Anki do spaced repetition meaning that it will constantly test your knowledge on vocabulary, spacing the quizzes/tests depending on how difficult you find the word. It is more efficient than other flashcard platforms, but it is a little tricky to get started and create your own cards. If you want to download pre-made decks, you can, but this works best when you add the words you have learned yourself so that you get decks that are full of vocab that is relevant for you

Beelinguapp - This is an app that has some story books written in both Korean and English. It also has an audio function so you can listen to someone reading the stories in Korean. This is neat for pronunciation and listening, and also identifying new words, however the range of stories are limited.

Gloss - Gloss have a set of online lessons pitched at different levels which takes you through articles or texts (or audio and video), then asks a lot of comprehension questions. It follows a lesson format so it is far more engaging than your regular book, however it is a little on the difficult side.

[EXTRA] Your First Hanja Guide - you might not want to learn vocabulary this way and it is absolutely NOT an essential, but for me it is helpful to visualise the Hanja character when seeing the relationship between words, so if you like learning words like that, then this is the book for you

Listening / Watching

Like with reading, there are multiple resources that you can use to listen to native Korean, but here are some that are specifically targeted at learners

여보세요 - this app/website has a few short video clips and goes through slowly to examine the meaning and new words, then has a number of test quizzes through multiple choice or through speaking (via microphone). There are different clips graded by levels and the app tracks your progress and gives progress reports.

Real Life Korean Conversations: Beginners / Intermediate - this IS a book, but it is best used in conjunction with the audio files. The book gives the script, as well as the vocabulary, and also looks at key grammar points and structures used in the conversations

Speaking

There aren’t many resources that I find great for self-studying speaking - generally you need someone else to do that with you, but here is one that I thought was quite neat:

Teuida - I just did a very quick run through this app as it is definitely pitched at beginners, but I thought that it was a smart way of learning some basic conversational Korean. It teaches you phrases and you have to repeat them back through the microphone feedback function. Then to test your retention, they take you through a mock situation and you have to speak your answers - there is quite a strong focus on getting pronunciation correct. My biggest downsides of this app are that the free sections are really limited, AND they seem to have geared the lessons towards the idea of dating, which I just find so awkward and embarrassing hahaha!

Writing

I’m in the market to buy some writing books and have my eye on some but am waiting until I have the time to work on them, but this book is quite neat for learning different sentence structures and how to construct meaningful answers:

Korean Q&A Sentence Patterns - this book poses a question and looks at different ways of answering it. It also shows variations of the question, then examines form. It gives an example long answer and prompts you to think about how to construct your own response using the grammar and vocabulary given

#well this took longer to write than I thought #korean resources #Resources #language resources #language study #Korea #korean #korean language #Korean langblr #korean language blog #language #langblog #langblr #study #language stuff #studyblr #korean studyblr #study blog #korean study blog #rating: 5 #artist: tomorrow x together #album: minisode1: blue hour

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk: Grievances and Cuteness - BTS on You Quiz on the Block

by Admin 1

Today BTS were guests on You Quiz on the Block, a very popular Korean variety show on tvN, and it was a wonderful mix of fun and hilarious, but also serious, vulnerable and honest. Seeing as we don’t have subtitles yet, merely the things our marvelous translator ARMYs managed to translate for us—the episode was 100 minutes long so there was a lot going on and being said—I don’t want to get into detail in this post and instead will wait with that until we have subs and I’ll be able to sit down and watch it properly again, focus on things that stick out to me and I would want to talk about. So that I can do their words justice.

Instead I want to use this post to air some of my grievances, directed at fellow ARMY, “ARMY” and shippers, as well as just gush a little about a few cute moments. The more serious things will be in a different post sometime soon. I hope that’s okay.

Grievances

What is the point of Bangtan going on a show like this, especially one that is broadcast on national TV and very popular with the general public? It’s to share not only their funny side but also their honest and genuine one, share stories that, though some we’ve heard before as ARMY, they’re things the general public doesn’t necessarily know. The point of them sharing vulnerable moments and memories with us is to simply be honest and transparent, something they’ve always highlighted as important to them.

What is the part we play in this, what is it that we should do? We are simply supposed to listen, understand the things they are telling us, put things into perspective so we know what they felt in certain moments and periods of their lives, understand that they’re human too with struggles, fears and sadness, and we should cherish the fact that they tell us any of it at all. They could just as well only show up whenever there’s a new album and comeback and then disappear again, share nothing personal at all and put on entirely fake personas. But they don’t. And we should be grateful for that and happy because of it.

Now, the reason why I even wanted to write this in the first place is this:

Many, and I mean many have decided that instead of doing what I’ve highlighted a moment ago, a far better course of action would be to twist their words, manipulate them, use them to victimize the members (and especially Seokjin), and try to overanalyze them in favor of their desired narratives and especially their ships, even if whatever was being said had absolutely nothing to do with any ship at all.

Before the episode even finished airing, solos/mantis were already up in arms “crying” about mistreatment and victimizing Seokjin because *insert demands they have no right to make at all* and when Seokjin, bless him, was on weverse, he actually replied to a post where he basically said that parts of what he said were too sad/depressing, so he simply asked the You Quiz staff to cut them out, which would explain why he seemed to have “less to say” during his interview section with Yoongi. Did that help? Of course not. Even though it showed not only that he did say more, that he likely said more vulnerable things, but also that he made the decision for himself that he did not want to share that yet, because he’s not ready for it or because he came to the conclusion that he simply doesn’t want to period, and that his wish for them to cut it out was met. Even though it wasn’t BH controlled content, but You Quiz.

More below the cut:

What does this tell us? The members have control over what is aired and what is not. If they feel something is too personal or would come across wrong, they can voice objection and chances are their words will be met and followed. They aren’t victims in need of saving, aren’t helpless boys with no idea what they’re doing. They are serious musicians, respected and treated well. This is a good thing and I’m glad he told us that, even if many don’t want to hear it and immediately claimed that “oh yeah BH told him to shut us up”. The mental gymnastics some are willing to do to make things fit their agenda truly baffles me sometimes.

On the other hand, I’ve seen shippers try to twist words or put others into the members mouths to push their agenda, and we’ve even had one or two asks being sent to us basically sadly wondering if maybe Tae isn’t who we thought he is for Jimin, and neither is Hobi, because of something Jimin said. Even though the thing Jimin said had quite literally nothing to do with either Tae or Hobi. In a way, I get where such vminnies are coming from, as vminnies we would love to just hear vmin talk about each other all day because it’s cute and we love their bond and stories, but it’s not like we didn’t get that. Because we did. Unprompted. Jimin mentioned Tae during their trio interview and told a story, even if we’ve heard it before to a certain degree. And yet it still wasn’t enough? Like come on, please don’t do this. Don’t reduce everything the members do and say to just ship related and non-ship related (thus uninteresting) statements and actions, as though the latter is worth less.

Here is the moment in question:

The way I see it, the only thing we should take away from this is that despite these very human fears and struggles, wonderings if people only care about Jimin because he is BTS Jimin and not Park Jimin, he still had and has good people in his life that’ll remind him that he is appreciated and loved for who he is, and not just for his celebrity status. Friends even outside of Bangtan. Why do we have to take something so incredibly personal, this moment of vulnerability from Jimin, and try to overanalyze it? To twist it to fit a ship? Regardless which one. Or to twist it to fit some kind of narrative, whatever one it may be? Please don’t do that.

Sure, Admin 2 noticed his use of ‘chingu’ when talking about this friend that told him that, and sure it reminded me of what Jimin said to Tae in the FESTA 2020 Rolling Paper, but neither Admin 2 nor I will go and claim that oh he must’ve been talking about Tae but didn’t want to use his name to avoid XYZ because we are not in his head and, at the end of the day, it’s irrelevant who exactly said that to him. That wasn’t the point of that story. Like at all. So why are some people disregarding the point in favor of speculations? Why are some completely ignoring his words, downplaying them as just potential ship material instead of appreciating the fact that he told us that at all?

It’s unfair toward Jimin, and the other members as well when they tell similar stories. Their lives aren’t fictional stories that revolve around romance. They are real people with real lives and more friends than just their fellow members and that’s a good thing since it surely gives them the opportunity to feel less isolated, cut off from the world by nature of their occupation and status. Besides, in the past Tae said something similar as well, how he used to be a social butterfly and make friends easily wherever they went but eventually he understood that people didn’t really care about Kim Taehyung and instead just wanted to know BTS V and be able to use that to brag, so he stopped being so outgoing. And we’ve also seen Jimin talk about cutting out friends in the past if they said something negative about Bangtan, then, a few years later, saying that he’s grown more as a person and learned to not allow these things to affect him as much, to surround himself with genuine people.

So, in light of what he said in that segment, we should be happy for him. And that’s it.

We also saw people use what Tae said about his dad to push the he must be 100% heterosexual because he said he wants to be a dad narrative which, where do I even start. Perhaps with the fact that this statement relies on a mistranslation? Because he didn’t say he wants to be a dad but that he wants to be a person like his dad, that’s his dream. Perhaps with the blatant homophobia this statement is laced in? The disregard for how queer people can also want to have kids, be parents, just like anyone else? Perhaps with how these things oddly seem to just be done to Tae and Namjoon, and especially Tae to use it for ship purposes?

Instead of jumping to conclusions, overanalyzing stories we are not supposed to analyze but instead to simply appreciate, please wait until we’ll have the full episode with subtitles (even though from the past we know that some of it may be simplified so reading what our translators wrote is also a good thing to get the whole picture) and even then, just enjoy their silliness and listen to their words of honesty. Listen to the fact that their fame was and continues to be a heavy weight on their shoulders, how instead of becoming cocky assholes they remained humble and genuine because that’s the kind of people they are and want to be, listen to what they want you to hear and now what you want to hear.

Also, to shippers—this isn’t the place to look for ship content of any kind, for some romantic confessions or whatever, because this was about Bangtan as seven members and their stories of the last ten and a half years since Namjoon joined BH and the idea for BTS was started.

Cute and silly things

Now that that's done, let’s talk about some fun and cute things to lighten the mood, shall we?

One of my favorite moments was when the MIC DROP ARMY came in as a surprise for the members, her confidence was off the charts and the guys looked so genuinely happy. After all it’s been so many months since they’ve last seen ARMY! And I’m so glad she was such a wonderful representative for us all, how she didn’t react with fear or shyness, didn’t scream or cry, but instead did her thing like a Queen. And the way the members reacted when she sent them a finger heart during one of the dances? Absolutely adorable! 

Also, she truly must’ve saved some kind of nation, or maybe two, in her past life since she also was gifted a chicken leg pillow by Tae. He’s just so kind and lovely.

Then we had the members play a game of trying to guess a song merely by the first second (I think) and then having to sing it, though who sang which part didn’t follow the actual order in the song but was chosen by someone off screen which meant that, for example, Tae was doing one of the rap line verses as well as singing Jimin’s part in another, Hobi showed off his vocal skills, and of course, the highlight, Namjoon singing a part from Spring Day. Even though we know Namjoon’s skills when it comes to singing are not the greatest, which I mean in a very loving way, no tea no shade, and yet he still went for it. It was hilarious and cute and showed that he is willing to be silly even if others might laugh at his expense.

Sometime after the episode aired Namjoon actually came onto Weverse to talk about the episode and, among other things, apologized for not singing Seokjin’s guide all that well. One thing I’d like to point out is how, originally, he wrote Jinhyung but then changed it to Seokjinie hyung, which is just a small and precious little detail:

Another cute moment was during ‘dance mafia’ when Tae turned to Jimin to ask him if they did well and Jimin replied that yes, he did well (both using this adorably soft tone with each other), they also hugged for a moment while smiling brightly. See, I said not to look for ship moments, but this is just cute regardless if you ship vmin or not. Admin 2 though would like to comment on how they could’ve given us that hug from a camera that’s a little further away so we could have a more proper look, or a longer shot of it, please?

Honestly that game was hilarious and the members who were mafia did a wonderful job tricking the others, particularly JK was fantastic at it since the second time around no one suspected him at all. Also, the fluffy ear muffs with cat (?) ears on them were adorable. At the end of the segment they were all supposed to strike a pose but Tae didn’t manage to put his ear muffs back on, so they fell to the ground and so Jimin lightly hit/caressed his chest and turned toward the MCs to ask if they could try again so that Tae could look good in it as well.

Actually, speaking of adorable in regard to Jimin, when they were introduced at the beginning of the show as RM-jagi-nim, jagi-nim being the name used for all the guests on the show and also the name on the necklace (given to guests who are fans of the show by the producers) Jimin showed off on weverse in his selcas, Jimin corrected the MC that it’s not Jimin-jagi-nim but Mini-jagi-nim which just…my heart. Too cute.

Lastly, I want to mention how all of them were asked what the first sentence would be if their lives were a book and their answers were just so very…them.

Namjoon: Predictions in life often turn out to be wrong

Tae: I’m a chameleon

Hobi: Dear, people who’ve helped to lead me here

Yoongi: You lived life to the fullest/hard/well

Seokjin: Dope, worldwide class!

Jimin: What kind of life do you want to live?

Jungkook: Hello?

Overall it was an amazing episode that was so fun to watch even without really being able to understand any of what was being said. Still the members genuine personalities shone through brightly and I’m glad they had fun and felt comfortable, especially since it’s been a while since they were last on Korean variety shows and some of their past experiences were…not great. I can’t wait to watch it again once we have subs and to write a more proper post about it then. I hope you didn’t mind this more…serious and “angry” post and understand where I’m coming from with my complaints, but also that you enjoyed the cute moments I highlighted.

#BTS #BTS You quiz on the block #Namjoon #Seokjin #Yoongi #Hoseok #Jimin #Taehyung #Jungkook #vmin

[phoenotopia]

The Last Phoenotopia Blog Update

(Date 2021 MAR 01)

I debated how to open this blog post, but perhaps the main crux of this blog post is the best place to start. The blog is being retired.

The purpose of this blog was to be a "development" blog for Phoenotopia, and well, Phoenotopia's development is done. I'll still be doing bug fixes and maintenance on the PC and Switch versions, and playstation and xbox ports are underway (by a publisher). But I'm not going to be making any more major changes to the game. At some point, you put the paintbrush down and say it's done. Blemishes and all.

Recent Events

The game launched on Steam last month, and like any launch, it was hectic. Bugs Galore. This is our first commercial PC launch, so it was a real baptism by fire. Unlike Switch's one configuration, the PC has multiple configurations and factors to account for. The game needed to be able to handle multiple control schemes, screen resolutions, refresh rates, and more! I had a 60Hz monitor going into launch and didn't know anything about Hz (I do now). There was a troublesome stutter that some players were sensitive to that my whole team didn't notice since our eyes compensated it away. There were a few times where in fixing something at one party's behest, it introduced problems for another party. A few times, due to disorganization, I unwittingly rolled back a fix that was meant to be applied. For some, the game couldn't play at all (really glad Steam allows refunds).

It was messy. It was tiring. I.AM.BEAT.

I think the worst of it is over... I'll still be around to do the last updates and bug fixes, but I'm ultimately ready for what's next.

SO what is next?

What isn't next... is Phoenotopia 2. As you may have heard down the grapevine, the game couldn't be what you call successful. No one's earned even minimum wage on it.

Maybe there's hope in the game's long tail. A year or two down the line... maybe. I won't hold my breath though. At some point in the past few months, I finished processing (or grieving) and it's time to move on.

The game has at least earned enough for us to continue our modest operations. As long as we don't expand the team, and we don't take another monster six-year dev cycle like what Phoenotopia took, we can continue. We'll have to be smarter and faster. Perhaps the most valuable thing we gained from all this is experience.

The Experience

It is a dev blog. Here are some of the lessons I've accumulated from this game's development.

- Have a good menu design. Menus aren't just that in-between fluff before you get to the good stuff. Menus are KEY. Your menus need to be robust, expandable, and *understandable* (to you, the developer). Because once the game's out, you will invariably be asked to add more options. And if your menu design is bad, every time you have to add a new menu option, it becomes a whole new pain all over again. Support mouse from the get-go, etc.

- Focus on features that people will actually care about. For instance, I've never seen anyone praise the camera's zoom feature. In practice, people try that feature a few times and then never use it again. But that feature was a constant consideration factor for every level. Run through it multiple times to make sure the level didn't break, think about which zoom levels made sense, resize rooms because they worked at one zoom level but not the other, and so on.

- Don't do boxes that you can move around. Other 2D platformers avoid movable boxes because they're a huge headache to program and they really complicate the game space. Enemies need to respond to boxes you throw in their path and either navigate around or attack it. When you're moving the box, you have to worry about constantly changing your collision size and reconciling when the box gets snagged on the environment. The boxes were also a constant source of bugs because people can manipulate them to soft-lock themselves and more.

- More focused script. Phoenotopia's 100,000+ word script was panned more for being bloated than it was praised for being lengthy. Long scripts take a long time to write and make the game more unwieldy, increasing the costs of translation and upkeep. Every update we're addressing some textual error or mistranslation. There are some highly renowned games (e.g. Hyper Light Drifter) that do without a script at all!

- Be flashy! A bat and a lightsaber take the same amount of work to program, but the lightsaber will draw a lot more attention and interest.

- Slopes, surprisingly! Six years ago when I started, Unity was ill-equipped for 2D games. If you used the physics that Unity provided you'd have a really floaty character that wouldn't adhere to the slope when going downhill. There were a hundred different tutorials saying different things (use forces, use move position, use translation, etc). You can get rectangular collisions done in a day, but to do slopes took weeks. Meanwhile, games can actually get by fine without slopes. Most people won't even notice. Did you know the Phoenotopia flash game didn't have slopes? Neither does Hollow Knight or Rogue Legacy. You can save yourself a lot of work by avoiding slopes.

(big entities look weird on slopes. Bad slope!)

I could write enough little knowledge nuggets like this to fill a book! But I'd rather just make the next game. 

So… what IS next?

As mentioned previously, it's not Phoenotopia 2. Pirate and I are mostly just tossing some ideas back and forth right now. We'll go silent for a year (or two). Our next game's scope will be more modest in some ways, more ambitious in others. It will definitely be more smartly designed. (There will be a map!)

We'll announce it when it's ready for the public. It might be necessary for us to do a kickstarter. I've tried to avoid kickstarters having been burnt on quite a few myself and also because I worry that mismanaging a kickstarter would earn the ire of backers.

But I did keep this blog regularly updated for six years. So I've gained some confidence in my abilities to at least manage a kickstarter well.

Is it really the last Phoenotopia Blog update though?

Okay, not really. There is some news that I'll need to announce, and this blog is one of the game's main outreach channels. Here are the events that will cause me to update the blog:

Announcing the launch of the xbox/playstation ports when they're ready

If a physical edition of the game happens

If a new language is getting introduced into the game (Korean is a high possibility)

When we're ready to talk about our next game

If (BIG IF) we begin development on a Phoenotopia sequel. I do want to do a sequel one day if we have the means and the demand is there. 

Those updates will be more on a "when they happen" basis, rather than me reporting in every couple months.

Fan Art

As always, I'm very happy to see fanart of Phoenotopia. Major thanks again to Pimez for collecting all the artwork from the corners of the internet! Since this is the "last" blogpost, Sir Pimez can finally take a rest from collecting the fanart :P

ÆV made a series of pictures that tell a story. A Pooki is humanely sheared of its wool to create a hat. The Pooki is unharmed. Nice! Gotta love Gail’s expressions.

Amagoo Mazeru makes a stunning landscape shot of a full moon and shooting stars. It’s a sharp and clear vector art. I like the faint glow of the moon and the fire and the subtle gradient in the night sky. Very skillfully done!

Hah hah. I got a chuckle out of this one. I imagine this is how Gail's enemies see her by the end of the game. CaESar made this image based on TerminalMontage's famous youtube videos. Nailed it!

CrownStar drew two pictures of Gail. I'm a big player of JRPGs, so the first shot instantly reminded me of Persona 4's art style. (Hmmm... Phoeonotopia as a JRPG... there’s potential there...) Next, Birdy is shown carried off after her defeat. I really like Birdy's expression here - she just seems mildly uncomfortable.

There's a bit of a story behind the first image. As Firanka shares it, she wasn't able to defeat the Big Eye monster at the end of the flash game, so she believed a tall tale that what awaited after was a 6 armed Kobold boss. Hilarious! The second is a rendition of the lonely Anuri elder. A rare subject. The loneliness is portrayed well here. I feel lonely just looking at it!

Koo_chop draws the clash between Gail and Katash at the top of the towers. I really like this interpretation of the game's art style. It’s faithful to the in-game graphics. And the lighting, from the glow of Gail's bat, to Katash's sword, and the lightning in the background... Amazing!

Lime Hazard shows Gail with a salute pose. Very appropriate for this occasion. I also like how there's a slight tilt in the angle that Gail is portrayed. Those dynamic angles are always hard to get right, and Lime Hazard pulled it off very skillfully. See you next mission!

Lyoung0J with a digital painting of Gail posed sitting on a rock. I like how it almost seems like she was caught in a candid moment - she’s smiling, but also feeling self-conscious. Cute! The art style really pops, and I like how Gail is sporting what I call the old anime style nose. 

MyUesrNameIsSh*t with a sketch of Gail performing a skillful slingshot. I like how Gail is depicted with her tongue out in a mischievous manner, the way all mischievous people with slingshots do.

Niitsu Kentaro returns with a 2021 Happy New Year picture. That happened didn't it? A New Year... Gail's pose gave me a chuckle with how she seems to be waving the bat around as casually as one would wave hello. And "Phoenotopiyear"... Well said! One day we'll have our Phoenotopiyear...

Ochan Nu breaks all records with a stunning NINE pictures in one session :O

There's so many goodies here. My favorite would be the one with Gail staring intently at the screen - it's like she's looking directly at you. You almost feel uncomfortable.

Next, there's an Animal Crossing villager dressed as Gail and sporting her pink hair. It even looks like a house Gail would live in. Gail is a connoisseur of the arts and likes Mona Lisa. Yes :)

There are various comics of Gail pointing out Gail's weird food habits. A picture of Fran looking really cool, and even Gail rocking a bathing suit. (bathing suit image linked here in case NSFW). Wow!

Pimez didn't just collect the arts, he creates them as well! This one, which he aptly named 'The Year 175' is a depiction of when the dragons invaded the towers as told by an elderly Daean woman. Great pixeling skills! I got a good chuckle from the ice dragon leaving with its stuff slung over its shoulder.

Quo made a stunning picture of Gail playing the flute surrounded by the 5 musical notes and the Phoenix logo behind her. The theme seems to be "fire" and it works really well. Gail herself looks awesome depicted in her red suit - it's like she's leading a marching band!

Rai Asuha depicts Gail in the late game with her red suit, and night star bat, and holding a lamp. She looks ready for adventure! I really like the white outline here and Gail's poofy shoulders here - the art style feels reminiscent of Final Fantasy Tactics.

Seri also draws Gail bearing her late game equipment. Unique to Seri's drawing is how all of Gail's equipment is accessible from a pocket on her shirt. I also like how Gail is depicted with her lucky earrings - that accessory is often forgotten.

Treedude depicts Gail with a bat and wearing a funny smirk. She looks like she's ready to hurt someone!

Warotar returns with everyone's favorite Great Drake, Bubbles! It seems so happy to be featured!

I'm really grateful for all the fanart this game has received. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

Closing Notes

Pirate drew a picture to mark the occasion. It shows Gail enjoying a hot chocolate with marshmallows and a pumpkin muffin. A rest well-earned...

Goodbye! Until next time!

#phoenotopia