#mushy is ready for episode 2

[ilovemushystuff]

#call the midwife #ctm season 13 #shelagh turner #laura main #mushy-edits #mushy is ready for episode 2 #hope you too

[aphroditesbaby1616]

The Bear & His Honey - Chapter 9

♡ Chapter Inspo: Lyrics; Awkward (SZA) “You look at me different, so I let you see my body - now we don't seem to get along, now I regret it all.” ♡♡》》𝟙𝟠+ 𝕆ℕ𝕃𝕐 𝔽𝕀ℂ! ℕ𝕆 𝕄𝕀ℕ𝕆ℝ𝕊 𝔸𝕃𝕃𝕆𝕎𝔼𝔻《《♡♡ ♡ Summary: Carm closes his day off w/ Winnie. Winnie, Syd, & Sadie shoot the shit, and disconnect Winnies mushy heart from her hook-up antics. Carm feels rejected by Winnie not knowing the whole story, and lands himself back in a support group (by choice). Sugar wins Big Sissy of the year award. ♡ W/C: 9,444 (angel #’s purr!) ♡ Posted Date: 02/23/24 ♡ A/N: Hayoooo! I hope y’all love this chap. - Next one will be long and juicy since its the 10th… hm.. Not feelin’ very wordy for some reason. Oh!! I saw the new ep. Of The Good Doctor- I MISSED MY SHAUN MURPHY!!!! I <3 MY GOOD DOCTOR!!! Anyhoot- ennjoooy this chap frayndss :D ♡ Warnings for BTC: MAJOR talks of Suicide, grief talk, sad / insecure Carm, swearing, smoking, drinking(cant remember so just in case?), mentions of chronic pain, think that’s all.

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈

Winnie’s P.O.V. -

I came back to the bedroom, teeth freshly brushed and glasses on. “Ready for some Drag education?” I joke, getting our fluffy blankets from the foot of the bed and draping them over us. “Mm drag education. Sounds fun” he opened his arm so I could lay on his chest. I laid down comfortably and he chuckled a bit. 

“What?” I asked and he curled his arm around me, gently rubbing my side. “Nothin’ just didn’t realize you wear glasses” he said and I look up at him with a small smile on my lips “mmhmm just another one of my faults, eyes that don’t work” I joke and he snorts, “you have no faults” he said brushing my bangs out of my eyes gently. 

“Okay enough flirting, mister” I poked his nose and leaned over him, grabbing the remote from my nightstand and turning on the tv. I went to Paramount and typed in the title, scrolling to drag race season 15 “okay…so this is last season, a lot of the queens are from Connecticut, but you’ll get the gist of it- and learn all the phrases that Sadie and I use” I said and hit play on the first episode. 

“Oh! Yeah that’s why my stomach hurts” I sit up and he scrunches his eyebrows “What?” He asks “forgot I was hungry. Watch! I’ll go make the rest of the pizza” I went out to the kitchen before he could reply, and preheat the oven putting the rest of our pizza from last night on a tray and popping it in, not bothering to wait for it to beep before coming back. “Okay so, I like the cute one, the little one” he points and I giggle, “Marcia Marcia Marcia?” I ask and he scrunches his eyebrows. 

“See they have weird names” he said his eyes flicking back to the tv as Rupaul came out and he raised his eyebrows ``wow” he muttered “thought he was a drag queen?” He questioned. “Not in the workroom babe, just watch” I settled back into his chest and played with his fingers, finding it adorable how he was so engrossed in it. I watched along with him for the mini photoshoot challenge and he scoffs softly “see…I hate her makeup it looks- it looks weird.” He muttered and I giggled. 

“See! I told you you’d love this show” I look up at him and he rolls his eyes “you tell no one at work we watched this, I’ll never hear the end” he said and I laugh, looking back at the screen “mm well…I guess another reason to behave yourself” I said smugly and he pinches my bum playfully. After a while I started to smell the pizza and sat up “be back, lovey” I said softly, shuffling off to the kitchen. I divided up the remaining 4 slices on my plastic strawberry shortcake plates and opened my fridge. 

“Carm, do you want cherry coke?” I called “Sure” he replied. I grabbed 2 cans, a few pieces of paper towel, and our plates, before heading back to the bedroom. “Irene somethin’ won the challenge-thing” he sits up, leaning against the headboard. “Got 2,500 bucks just for that. Good money” he took the plate and I handed him the can of soda and I smiled a bit. 

“Mmhmm, they win like 200,000 at the end” I said and his eyebrows raised “wow, hmm. High stakes then” he continues watching along with me as we eat our pizza. We were snuggled up, at the end of the third episode and he sighs softly, rubbing my side to get my attention. “Honey” he mumbled gently and I looked up at him. 

“I gotta…Y'know '' he said with a slight frown and lifted his hand to motion to the door. “Got work in the mornin’..” he said and I pout a bit, “I know…I know” I sighed and sat up, “it was nice, y’know- spending time with you..” I said and pulled on my bear paw slippers as he slipped his hoodie over his head. 

“It was really nice, Win, I’ll call you, yeah?” He comes over opens his arms for a hug. I nuzzle into his chest, closing my eyes. “Mmhmm, I’ll leave my ringer on for you” I said softly, breathing in the scent of his cologne, subconsciously trying to memorize it. “Y’gonna try and come down for lunch sometime this week? Mm? I can make y’somethin’” he said and kissed the top of my head sweetly. I smiled a bit, resting my chin on his chest as I looked up at him. 

“Now that I have two friends there, I’ll be sure to stop by more often” I said softly, and puckered my lips for a kiss. He leans down, kissing my lips tenderly, lingering for a moment before pulling away. “I look forward to seein’ you more, then.” He said and rubbed my back gently before pulling away. I walked him to the door, handing him his backpack after he slipped on his sneakers and once he put it on I pulled him by the straps, kissing him passionately, running my fingers through his curls, and gently tugging. 

He hummed into my mouth, his hands trailing beneath my shirt and squeezing my bum in his palms before stroking my thighs with the tips of his fingers gently as he leans against the wall in our heated make out. After a minute or two he pulls away, our lips only mere inches apart. “Baby, I gotta go, yeah?” He said softly and kissed my nose. I jetted out a pout with my bottom lip and looked at him up through my lashes. “Yeah” I mumbled, and pulled him into one last hug before opening the door. 

“Be free” I shooed with my hand playfully and he chuckled. “Until next Saturday yeah? I’ll be waiting to see what happens to our bunny friend” he pecks my lips on the way out the door and I smiled. “Mmhmm, don’t work too hard this week” I said and he rolled his eyes jokingly. “Mm- ye’ I’ll try” he said and I shook my head with a grin, shutting the door. I leaned against it with my full weight, and sighed deeply when I knew he was well out of earshot, sliding to the floor pathetically in a heap, covering my face in my hands. 

I need to process this. 

I hastily got up off of the floor, padding heavily into my bedroom, and picking up my phone off the charger. It smells like him in here - and I’m unsure how I felt about it. I grabbed my bong and a lighter, as well as my little lavender tin of pre-ground flower, and went to sit out on the balcony outside my bedroom, FaceTiming Sadie. She answers by the end of the second ring.

“Biiiitch - ok wait, you didn’t call last night so before you start- Say hey Syddd! We’re wine drunkkk” She giggled, already gone- and turned her phone on it’s side, leaning it up against god only knows what so I could see them both together and I bit my lip, trying to appear happy. Shit. 

I just wanted to air out everything to Sadie but of course she and Syd are hanging out- when she isn’t with me she was with her. This was going to be harder to navigate then I thought. 

I stuffed my bowl full of flower with my fingers, “hey!” I said trying to sound enthusiastic and I lit it, taking a deep inhale. 

“Dude did you fuck him I need all the details like - S-O-U Winnie!!!” Sydney said and I nearly choked out a lung laughing, completely not expecting her to be so open about me being with him knowing how she’d ranted about her frustrations about him before. Sadie busts out laughing and I try to catch my breath, drool pooling in my mouth. I dashed inside, grabbing my water bottle and taking a few big chugs before returning. 

“Sydney” I said once I caught my breath and looked at her, we all went silent for a few short moments, and before I knew it we were all giggling together again over nothing. “Stop! Stop stoppp we need details Winnie!” Sadie said when she caught her breath and I shook my head, unsure where to even start. “Well…Syd do you still want to fuck him?” I ask and she snorts loudly. “No absolutely not. Not anymore. I just stand that asshole at this point.” She rolled her eyes, taking another sip of her wine. 

“How do you mean?” I asked, lighting my bowl again to take a proper hit. She shakes her head, playing with the end of one of her braids. “Dude,  Where do I even start?” she sighed deeply, thinking for a moment. “Okay, well let’s start with the fact that he’s so fucking selfish. Winnie- the only thing, and you’ll learn this sooo fast- the only thing he cares about, is easing his own fucking- his inadequacy!!” She said, talking with her hands as she usually did when she got passionate, just like Sadie and I. 

“Expand” I said after I exhaled, crossing my legs and Sadie took a big gulp of her wine, knowing she was about to listen to the following complaints for the third or fourth time over now. “Well, firstly, for starters- I’ll tell you the real reason he fucked around with that girl Claire. Because it’s what Mikey would’ve wanted him to do. Same reason he opened the new restaurant. Because he only cares about proving to himself that his brother would be proud of him. But- but he doesn’t even want to be happy! When that is really what Mikey would have wanted, I mean- right?” She asked and I swallowed thickly, nodding a bit. 

“N-no. No you’re right and - yeah that’s his biggest issue so far” I said and she laughed, covering her mouth. “Sorry sorry it’s not funny it’s just…wow he hasn’t even behaved himself? Hid it? Like…” she took a deep breath to steady herself. “Winnie-  I love you. You know tha, right, really. ” she said, I nodded quickly, my chest tightening. “He’s not a person to get involved with. Even for the dick. Even if it’s good which- I can’t say I haven’t thought about it - but you’re a sweet person Winnie. And as much as you want to think he deserves you - despite him being a little bitch. he does not deserve someone like you - period. Because he will forever push you away. We know how you are, and we know better than you know how he is. So, this will be my one and only warning about him - do not get involved.” She said and I bit my lip, nodding quickly. 

Don’t get involved further, Syd wouldn’t lie just because she wanted him for herself. She really, truly loves me, she’s one of my best friends.

I stare off into the distance, that thought bouncing around in my thoughts and the entirety of the day suddenly feeling…wrong. “Ok so now that we got that out of the way- how was it. Like is it big? Also how…like good is he?” she asked and I sat back, sighing softly. “That was another…downfall…even though it’s not even really a downfall!” I shake my hands for emphasis. “It’s literally- he’s so good like…well- he’s not pussy eating champion 2024 but” I said, earning a giggle out of them. 

“I was riding his face while we were 69 so it wasn’t like bound to be the best for me - but anyway he is huge! Like not long, but thick” I said, lighting my bowl and taking another hit. “Cut or uncut?” Sadie asked, causing me to snort, smoke coming out of my nose and I coughed a bit. “Guys - Italian Catholic? Cut” I said matter-of-factly and Syd laughed. “Okay but - please don’t tell me he has all that rage and doesn’t take it out in the bed?” She questioned and I shook my head. 

“He's actually like…shy? Even in bed! But he’s so hot you’ve seen him shirtless, right Syd?” I asked and she nods “oh- yeah. Of course. So…what like virgin shy?” She asked and I bit my lip slightly as I thought. “Kinda but like- he’s done it - but it’s been once or twice and that’s it like he got all his bases covered, practiced everything a few times - and that’s it, but when he commits he commits and he listens oh my goddd!” I close my eyes thinking about it and Sadie laughed. 

“At least he knows how to follow directions in bed if anywhere good” Sydney said while taking a sip of wine and I laughed. “Ohhh my god! Oh my god. He’s like- low key a sub but I’d neverrr tell him because he’d never let me touch him again, I know it.” I went inside, closing the balcony door and setting my bong on my dresser before sitting on my bed. “Well yeah but I mean- wow” Syd blinks in surprise, taking in what I’d said. “Wow.” She hummed in thought and I laughed. 

“What?” I asked “well- I mean like I said multiple times he’s an asshole at work, so with how brute and bossy he is, I like assumed he’d be like ‘get on your knees slut’ kinda guy? That was my fantasy anyways“ she mocked Carmen and I burst out laughing, “oh my god I wish” I said gasping in laughter. This is exactly what I needed. I needed to rip the bandaid off, because I knew Carmen wasn’t going to keep his promise, how he acted before we took a nap solidified it. He hates being with someone more than once.

“I wish. I had to beg him practically to tell me that he liked what I was doing. Like, isn't praise the first thing in porn?” I roll my eyes, petting Persephone as she jumps up. “Wait- wait- you had to tell Carmen Berzatto how to do something” she laughed, her head falling back. “Dude- oh my god! You are my saving grace. I am so glad I never slept with him. I'd have been so disappointed!” she said and I snorted. “That’s what I was gonna tell Sadie when I called actually… I mean- like I said he follows directions sooo well, but I wanted him to throw me around a little and he didn’t” I shrugged, picking at my nails. 

“So if he asks, will you see him again?” She asked and I nibbled the inside of my lip nervously. “We had like…. We cuddled and stuff I’m never-“ swallowed thickly, my heart beginning to ache- remembering how attached I’d really felt to the day we’d had together, underneath all the anger I was feeling that he was so emotionally guarded. “I’m not doing that again- ever with him. But he has a really nice dick- we fucked in the shower?” I laughed and Sadie and Syd burst out laughing again. 

“And ohh my god. The most dominant thing he did was like spank me- I don’t know what came over him! I was like oop!” I giggled and Sadie snorted, Syd leaning over the table in laughter. “Sooo he made you finish?!” Sadie asks and I nod “oh yeah- I mean. Like I said. He listens really well he just needs to be told what to do.” I said. “So he fucks like a puppy?” Syd teased and I rolled my eyes, laughing a bit. “In a way. But it’s like- he can learn. That’s why I’m kinda like…” I sighed softly, looking away. 

“I dunno..I dunno” I shook my head and sighed a bit. “The Carmen Berzatto effect, welcome.” Syd said sarcastically and I rolled my eyes. “But he- he’s…so sweet” I sighed, playing with the ends of my hair. “And…like- I dunno. I’m slipping back into my old ways. I want to fix him” I rolled my eyes at the realization and rubbed my face. 

“Wooooow!” Sadie drawls “holy shit! Well maybe you aren’t slipping because I’ve never heard you come to that realization before you run yourself to the bone for someone who can’t be fixed.” Sadie said and I sighed deeply, knowing deep down she was right. “What if he does the work?” I asked hopefully, “he won’t. He like- I dunno I don’t wanna say he hates himself, but he hates himself. Like any sense of good in life he crushes it for himself because he thinks he works better if he has nothing and he’s always chasing something.” Syd said and shrugged, her voice even and calm. 

It was about an hour and a half of me divulging nearly every detail of the night to them other than the intimate details of Carmen telling me how many people he’d had sex with before we were all talked out. 

 I swallow thickly. “I’m just- I’m gonna shower guys. I love you Syd, thanks for not being mad at me. And…I’m- I’m sorry. I’m sorry for doing that.” I said honestly and she shakes her head. 

“Honestly, he may be happy this week cause he got his dick wet for once- so he might not be such a terror at work. Just…sleep it off. It was once, Winnie, but I promise- If you let yourself get involved further, he is going to hurt you. We didn’t even get anywhere and when he cut me off cold emotionally after Claire? I felt like a fucking nutcase. It’s for your own good, just - forget him, okay?” She said and I nodded softly. 

“Love you” I replied before hanging up 

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

Carmy’s P.O.V. -

After my night with Winnie, I slept peacefully- the first night. I had a nightmare, and I only threw up once opposed to the 2 or 3 times a night it usually occurred. But by around 8 am when everyone started showing up, all of the questions were making me anxious, and it was generally pissing me off that Richie, Tina, Fak, Sugar, it felt like everyone except for Syd was up my ass. 

I stood at one of the stations, chopping up onions and garlic for a stew that Tina was working on, doing absolutely everything in my power to not think of her. This was why. This. The fact that her face was the first thing I thought of when I got up. The fact that every fleeting thought is somehow weaving back to her. I could not do that again. Just the simple fact that I was sleeping better after seeing her once gave me unending anxiety. 

If I keep fuckin’ around with her, Shes gonna leave. Or she’s gonna be taken. Or she's gonna realize I'm not good enough. Or she’s gonna find someone better. 

I dropped the knife on the cutting board with a slam. “Goin to smoke.” I mutter to Syd as I pass by and shut the back door a little harder than I meant to. I leaned against the cool brick, trying to catch my breath. I felt over my pockets, finding my cigarettes, but - my fucking light. “Fuck!” I mutter to myself, rubbing over my face roughly. 

This is exactly how it fucking started with her. Me losing my damn lighter. 

I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut and shaking my hand, trying to ground myself. 

You fucking pussy. Get it together. You hooked up once you are not attached. You aren’t fucking attached. 

I tug at my hair, remembering the feeling of her beneath me, the softness of her sheets, that fucking mug. I leaned against the brick wall, taking a deep breath. I took out my phone, cursing myself for a small part of me hoping she’d texted me, since I was too pussy to say anything to her last night or this morning. I stared at my text messages, my eyes falling on my conversation with sugar. 

She’d sent me some “anonymous group therapy” shit about anxiety and she told me she thought it could help me. I'd brushed it off until now, but talking this shit out like I did with Mikey to people who weren’t allowed to repeat it- it sounded like it would feel good. I clicked on the lick, licking my lips nervously as it opened and took me to the page. 

Anxiety/PTSD ANON: Monday evenings at 6:00PM-9:00PM at St. Anthony’s Presbyterian Church. 

I furrowed my eyebrows a bit, PTSD. I hated when people would tell me I have PTSD. It’s so stupid- I’d never been to fuckin’ war. Or been raped or whatever. Being yelled at for being an idiot doesn’t constitute PTSD. But, considering people with PTSD are probably going through real shit, I’m sure it would feel easier to spill my guts to them then someone perfect like Winnie. 

I sit up off the wall, heading back inside and I look at Syd “yo- c’mere” I nod to the office and she follows, I shut the door. “Goin, on with you?” I asked, putting my hands on my hips. She raises her eyebrows, “nothing? Why…” she questions and I narrowed my eyes slightly. “You’ve avoided me today. So again what’s up.” I asked and she shook her head, rolling her eyes slightly. 

“I don’t have time for this, Chef,” she said and sighed a bit. “You know what I’m talking about. You were on my ass Friday about me wanting to get out early and you were dying to know why- and you come in on Monday it just skips your mind?” I shrug, crossing my arms. 

“Look” she snips, taking her hand off the doorknob. “I don’t know what you think is going on, Chef. But I’ll have you know- I’ve had zero interest in your personal life again, until you started sneaking around here with one of my closest friends- and my cousins, who’s more like my sister- her best friend. So let’s just say, after the conversation she and I had-“ she looks at me pointedly. 

“An honest, open, friend to friend, girl to girl conversation, Carmen- you will have nothing to worry about me, and my interest in your “personal” life - anymore.” She said and left the office with a slam. I felt my heart sink to my stomach, fuck. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuck. Fuck. 

I could hear a ringing in my ears and my vision blurred slightly. I get the familiar feeling in my chest and sit down, clutching my head in my hands and spiraling into one of my episodes. 

My “personal” life. Ouch. I knew after what happened with Claire things had been…different between us- but I didn’t think she cared. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

I tug on my hair, my eyes screwed shut and breathing labored as my thoughts continue racing. 

Fuck. What did - did she tell her? Did she tell them about- oh my god I’m such a fucking moron. Of course she did. Of course. That’s- Winnie’s best friend- oh my god why did I trust her. Fuck. And - and she thinks I’m gonna fucking hurt her. She knows I would hurt her. 

“Sour things give you something to focus on” 

Her voice rings throughout my mind. I took a shaking breath, opening my office drawer and grabbed one of the sour warhead things I’d gotten on the walk home after that night with Winnie, and popped it in my mouth. I cringe at the sensation, but immediately am pulled back, for now. 

I spit the candy in the garbage can after a few grueling moments to be sure I got the full effect, before pulling my phone out of my pocket. Before I knew it with shaking hands, I was calling Winnie. After just 3 short rings the phone clicks and I sit up a bit 

Please leave a message after the tone for - Heyy it’s Winnie, I can’t talk right now, if you wanna leave me a message cool- but I’m better at texts. Ciao! *beep*

I took the phone away from my ear, quickly hanging up. At the sound of her voice I felt like I could breathe again. I bit my lip gently, considering texting her and telling her to call me back- but she would if she wanted. I shook my head, setting an alarm for 5 to remind myself to leave for that group thing, before locking my phone and heading back into the kitchen. 

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

Winnie’s P.O.V . -

I went to the back around 5, finally finished cleaning up after a story hour today. It was Sadie’s day off and Mel was out sick so I was running the store alone, I barely got a break to take a piss let alone have a quiet thought to myself from the moment I got here. 

I sighed deeply, rubbing my bad hip that was driving me nuts today. The only thought that had been running through my head was how much I wanted to see Carmen. I was kind of grateful that the store had been so busy today because if it had been dead slow I’d probably have just locked up and gone to find if he was out for a smoke every few hours hoping I’d get lucky. 

It took me a while to finish cleaning up after the littles, and vacuum the whole floor considering the aching pain in my hip that was reverberating through my thigh and knee all the way up to my ribs. By the time I was squatted by the vacuum, in the back of the store, rolling up the cord it finally gave out on me and I collapsed to the floor in a heap, my head landing in my purse under the desk. How convenient. 

“Fuckin shit” I muttered to myself, knowing it would be at least 20 minutes before I would be able to use it again. I huffed, sitting up and banging my head under the desk in the process and groaning “ow” I whined, rubbing my head and leaning on my hip that wasn’t throbbing intensely. After a minute or so I dug through my purse, pulling my phone out. I scroll through the notifications from the day, Tik Toks from Sadie, news reports, a few texting ads when I see it towards the middle of the stack. 

Carm🧸 1 missed call 

I swallowed thickly - why was he calling me in the middle of the day? I checked our conversation to see the last text that was sent was still from when I’d told him my apartment number. I bit my lip gently, going over to Twitter to try and forget about him. I scroll through different posts, liking some of them, until my hip finally feels well enough again to try and stand. 

I slowly shifted my weight on to my good side, gently lifting my hip and letting out a small cry at the shooting pain as I pulled my knee up to get my foot in a standing position. “God fucking damn it” I cried out in pain as I haul myself standing, my arms shaking in pain as I lower myself as gently as I could in to the desk chair. I took a heaving breath, wiping away the tears from the corners of my eyes and swallowing thickly. I was absolutely not going to make it 2 blocks on this hip tonight. 

It had to have been all the exertion of the shower with Carmen, mixed with not sitting down only for 30 minutes today while I read to the kids. I rubbed my forehead in frustration, opening up the Uber app and seeing since it was ‘peak pricing’ it was gonna cost me $40 to get from the store home, and I do not have that kind of money. 

I groaned, sitting back and thinking to myself if trying to wait it out would just get me in a worse position of being stuck here all night because Sadie has no car or not eating dinner for the rest of the week, since my groceries were dwindling and I didn’t get paid until Friday. I huffed, “no, I can fucking make it” I muttered, I pull myself up, nearly screaming at the pain screaming at me to stop, and yank my jacket over my arms. 

With shaking hands, I got my keys out of my purse, flicking lights off as I limped, every step feeling like my leg was about to fall out like a Barbie that had never been properly popped into place. I groan quietly in pain every few steps, barely being able to lock the door from how violently my hands were moving. I looked both ways across the street, knowing it wasn’t long before a car came along. I try to take as big of strides I could into the alley. 

I honestly didn’t give a fuck if I ran in to Carmen right now, I was not walking an extra three blocks in my condition just to avoid him. I lean against the wall, feeling that familiar shaking in my bad hip like it was telling me it was counting down before it gave way and barely got to the steps outside of the bear's kitchen door before collapsing with a grunt, the pain vibrating through my spine at the fall. 

“Fuck” I whine, stretching my leg out in front of me. The faucet behind my eyes gives and my eyes are suddenly blurring with tears and I’m muffling sobs into my hand. The pain, the day I’ve had, and the worst of it- I’m stuck in the one place I don’t want to be. What kind of stupid desperate bitch will I look like if Carmen comes out to see me crying on the fucking steps of his restaurant. 

I swallowed hard, doing my best to pull myself to my feet but my hip had locked and it was no use. With shaking hands I take out my phone, and the door creaks open behind me. I quickly dry my tears as best I can “uh- I'm not here to see you I- I’m going home I’m sorry” I mutter. 

“Winnie the Pooh?” A slightly familiar voice said and I looked up to see Sugar standing there, a confused look on her face and I started to laugh to which she started looking concerned. “Oh!” I sniffle. “It’s you. Don’t tell Carmen I’m h-here” I hiccuped a sob and she furrowed her eyebrows, “no he's- wait” he shuts the door and sits next to me. 

“Why you cryin’?” She asked gently and I shook my head “oh my god it’s- I-“ I wiped my tears again. “My hip…I got in an accident when I was 19 and had to get my hip fused, and they did it wrong so it’s all fucked and it just..hurts” I said and sniffled. “Okay why- why don’t you want Carm to know that?” She asked “did he already fuck up?” She said with a teasing smile and nudged me playfully. 

“No- no he. Carm is…” I look at my feet. “Carm is wonderful. But he- he doesn’t want…what I would want, you know?” I look at her, still a bit teary eyed. She nods a bit “Y’know…Carm…somethin’ ‘bout that kid, he doesn’t allow a lot a’ good things…and” she rubs her hands together in thought, looking down for a moment. 

“I think you’re right, but it’s what he needs.” She said and looked back at me finally. “I won’t…get in the middle of this. But- just know, Carm could really use a girl like you around. He left early today…he told me he was feeling like it was too much and he needed to go think about shit. He’s never done that. That tells me you are getting to him to take care of himself. So if it’s a Carmen thing, pushing you away? Sometimes with that kid you have to force him to see what he’s missin” she got up and extended a hand to me. 

“What’re you doing?” I asked “cmon. Takin you home. Can’t live too far if you’re walkin’, right?” She asked and I smiled a bit. “You seem like a really good sister” I said softly and she smiled big. “Y’know. I always wished I had a sister, I don’t think either of my brothers have ever told me that'' she said, tucking her large purse into the crook of her arm. I crinkle my brows ``ok..well Carm and I will be talking about appreciating you because you give great advice” I grab on to her hand. 

She giggled a bit as she hoisted me up and I quickly balanced myself on the railing, my hip still barely functional. “Woah!” She said, wrapping her arms around my waist tightly. “The car is right there parked in front- think you can walk?” She asked, concerned. I nodded quickly “yeah- yeah. I might need to like…lean on you” I said, my cheeks going pink with embarrassment. 

“Course! C’mere chicky” she wraps her arm around my waist and I smiled a bit to myself as she helped me limp to her car. “You hug like Carmen” I said softly as we approached the passenger side and she laughed, “don’t tell him that. He’s always said I’m too ‘touchy’ since we were kids” she pulled open the door and I slowly got in, the pain in my hip dulling significantly when I sat on the plush seats of her SUV. 

She gently pushed the door closed, coming to the drivers side and hoisting herself into the large vehicle. “Trust me- I totally get it. I have 2 kids, my hips or my bladder haven’t been the same since” she said jokingly as she started the car. 

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

Carmy’s P.O.V -

I tried to take a deep breath, staring pointedly at the church in front of me. My dark gray knit sweater was suddenly feeling itchy all over my exposed skin, even though my usual white work shirt was still layered underneath. I pulled at the collar of the offending garment, roughly itching my collarbone at the sensation of a tickle just under my chain. Taking a final drag of my third cigarette just standing there, I throw it to the ground, crushing it with my sneaker. 

You can turn around- you can just get back in your car, and go home. You don’t have to do this. 

The devilish voice bounces around in my head. I’m unsure what got me to drive here, what got me out of my car after sitting there for 15 fuckin’ minutes, but suddenly I was planting my feet up each step into the grand wooden entrance of the church. 

Turn around. Turn around. Turn. around. 

My entire body screams for me to run as I step into the welcome hall. This confidence to change so suddenly has to be the effect of a mostly-full nights sleep- thanks to Winnie of course.

Stop fucking thinking about her. 

I’m met with a folding easel, a plain piece of white printer paper with an arrow that points to the left, reading ‘PTSD/ANXIETY ANON’ in large bold letters. I swallowed hard, staring at it intently. 

Leave. Leave. Leave!!!! 

The voice in my head was so loud that in my rested state, it drove me to push against it. To deprive it.  I headed down the hall, the only sound being my sneakers tapping the tile floor and the loud fluorescent lights buzzing above me. My eyes fixed on a bolded sign at the large honey-stained wooden door just at the end of the hall, taped to the wooden frame. “ANXIETY ANONYMOUS” typed in bold letters on the same 8x11 printer paper and taped to the easel out front. 

I took a deep breath, blinking my eyes shut hard out of habit, thinking about what I was about to do- before swallowing back the anxiety and my hand felt the icy touch of the handle, pulling down and pushing it open. I met the faces of about 4 other tortured souls, staring blankly back at me. “Uh” I mutter, standing in the doorway feeling like a total idiot. 

“I-is this th-the.” I bit my cheek fucking word stumbling moron. “The fuckin’ anxiety anon meeting?” I spit out, trying my best to swallow the nausea rising in my throat from the crippling fear of meeting new people. A woman with a short bleach blonde bob, sitting in the corner at a large desk looks up. 

“Oh!! Joy. A newbie!” She chirps, standing up and walking over, standing a few feet away. “I’m Claire” she said happily, and the protein bar I scarfed down my throat earlier begged to make a grand 

reappearance.

“C-cl-?” I tried to grate out, swallowing thickly and my cheeks feeling so hot I was sure I could light one of my cigarettes on them. 

Run. Run, RUN - Carmen!!! Find the fuckin’ bathroom, slink out like it never happened. Bad idea. Bad idea. Horrible idea.. Moron. Idiot. Stupid. Useless. 

“Claire!” She repeats happily. “Are you alright with handshakes, dear? What's your name honey?” She sticks her right hand out to me confidently. My gaze meets her hand, and I swear my vision went blurry. I stumble back a bit. “Ba- bathroom” I muttered quickly, the feeling of vomit creeping up in my throat.

She gently pushes me into the hallway, grabbing the small trash can with her right hand and shutting the door behind her tightly. I ripped the trash pale out of her hands quickly, hurling my protein bar and whatever bile and water my stomach held for the last 6 hours In to it, squatting pathetically in the hallway against the wall and she stepped a bit closer, charm bracelets jingling as she rubbed my back while I wretch so hard I swore for a second my organs would fly out of my mouth. 

“Christ kid” she muttered, her nails gently grazing the small of my back as she rubbed soothing, small circles. “Know a Claire, mm?” She asked matter-of-factly when I finally stopped heaving, my brain fully empty other then fuckin Winnie reading to me last night. And the story of the stupid fucking bunny.

“Yes- b-b-sh-she“ I tried to get air into my lungs, but instead my chest forced me into a painful gasp. “N-no- used to…” I dry heaved over the garbage can so hard I dropped to my knees on the cold tile, and was sure I'd either pass out, or die of embarrassment at the pathetic sound and sight, feeling fully like a sniveling child. Unfortunately to no avail.. I gasped in a breath so violently, the sudden pressure in my lungs made me feel as if I was really about to pass out. 

I leaned against the cold wall, catching my breath before continuing. “I- I- fuckin” I winced at the pain in my stomach, my face clenching up slightly at the pang reverberating through every muscle in my body due to the intensity of all the emotions I was feeling at once. 

“Fuckin... I crushed on ‘er as a stupid, idiot kid..but fuckin hate ‘er now..“ I sniffle, mucus getting caught in my throat, causing me to choke and cough so hard over the trash can that my lungs burned. 

“Breathe, kid” she said, patting my back. “In through your nose and out through your mouth” she said and demonstrated a calm even breath. I rested my face on my arm, doing as she said, and finally catching my breath. “S-sorry I haven’t eaten much t’day and smoked like half a pack” I said and she nudged me gently. I look over and she’s holding a tissue, “thanks” I said wiping my mouth and nose tossing it in the garbage and leaning against the wall again, sighing deeply. 

“C'mon, you can just listen today if you don’t feel like talking. We have water bottles in there for ya’ “ she said, standing up fully and extending a hand to me. I nodded a bit, taking her hand to steady myself as I got up. She took the trashcan and tied the bag, leaving it in the hall before opening the door. “I’m..sorry” I mutter, shaking my head. 

“No! No happens all the time. Don’t worry” she said and opened the door. “Well gang, it’s us plus one newbie!” She said and handed me water from the counter at the side of the room before going to her seat and I swallowed thickly, sitting down on the furthest chair from everyone else, setting the water bottle on the chair before wiping my clammy hands over my jeans and swallowing thickly. “Alright” she said, sitting down with a clipboard. “Are there any big things this week that we need to start with?” She asked, I kept my gaze fixed on my lap.

“Yes- uh…my nightmares came back..” a small voice said and I looked up to see a girl with mousy brown hair and a deep scar on her right cheek. Claire nodded “did you want to share about them?” She asked her and the girl swallowed thickly. “No- no. I just… it’s about dating again after what happened. I can’t- I can’t. I’m always looking over my shoulder, I feel like a freak. It’s hard enough dating girls- and I- I have a hard time texting. And so when I meet them in person, I always catch them staring at me. And… and like I can hear their thoughts. Like ‘who is she hiding from’ or ‘I bet she has a secret girlfriend.’ And I - I’m so paranoid.” she huffed. 

“I’m sure all of us here have felt paranoid after a trauma, and especially, when experiencing something new, the feeling of…waiting for the other shoe to drop. Is very common. Especially if it relates back to childhood, those wounds linger for a long time. Has anyone else been feeling paranoid?” She asked the group. There was a silence for a moment, I took a deep breath, finding my tongue. 

“Me” I said, rubbing my thighs to soothe my anxiety. There was that familiar tightness in my stomach and my heart was thrumming in my throat. “Oh! Did you want to share more about that…sorry, how should we address you?” She asked and I kept my eyes locked on her, trying to forget there were other people there but still not wanting to sit alone with a shrink in an office. 

“Carmen'' I said and she nodded, “okay, Carmen- did you want to share what you’re feeling paranoid about?” She asked and I sniffled, rubbing my lips together nervously. “Ye’ uh, I met a-a girl. Last week. And I haven’t stopped…thinkin’ about her? Like. I dunno. I have sworn off women quite a while ago.” I rub my chin, eyes gazing to the floor nervously. 

“Okay, so what are you paranoid about?” She asked and my eyes flicker back to her. “So uh- yeah. S-sorry. Sorry. So uh- I work in a-a restaurant. And I run it, with my cousin and my sister. My second in command though, she- she knows this girl. And uh…I don’t know what’s been goin on? With me? And I…I like her. That’s-that’s why I’m paranoid. Cause I don’t…I can’t do girls and she-“ I sigh deeply, clearing my throat. 

“She told me that she wouldn’t pressure me?” My eyes met hers again and she nodded. “Okay, so you’ve felt pressured in relationships in your past, and are worried it will happen again?” She asked and I thought for a moment, rubbing the back of my neck. 

“Yes? Well…no..no not from her. I-I’ve been very pressured to like someone before and it was hell for me. B-but…that’s the thing is I trust she won’t pressure me. And I- when I’m around her, I’m not fuckin- im not fuckin like this? Like I- I can think, and I can breathe and…so-so-so if it’s not” I shake my head. “I feel so different around her? That’s why I’m paranoid.” I said finally. Claire sits back in her chair a bit. 

“Okay, so you’re paranoid she’s going to leave?” She questioned. I shook my head a bit, “no- no that’s the thing is that the shoe always drops for me, I already fucked this up by just being me. My- one of my chefs, Syd. She- she’s friends with this girl and…and I think she told her about all my…fucked upness. She-she warned her that im a fuckin’- a fuckin loser. I just- and I didn’t even want to allow myself to feel this way which is why I’m so scared cause I- I feel like- like.” I shake my head. 

“I feel like she’s good for me though. I-i just know I’m bad. I’m- I’m fuckin selfish. I would be a horrible boyfriend. I’m fucking insane I- I think. I wake up every night fucking throwing up. I- I obsess over things, and I just keep pushing and pushing until I get it how- how I see it in my head. B-but with her it’s like…I want to see? Where things go? Y’know? L-like I. I want her to show me…it’s- it’s stupid never mind” I shook my head looking back at my lap, pushing my bangs off my forehead nervously. 

“Well in here, no one is crazy. I think you’re paranoid of having no control over your emotions, Carmen. Which is perfectly normal. We can’t control anything in this world, other than how we react to our feelings about things. So, let’s delve deeper into your current self image- what comes to mind first when I ask why you’re selfish?” She asked and I shrugged a bit. 

“I fuckin’ shut the beef down, knowing it’s not what Syd wanted, knowing it’s not really what anyone wanted except for me. Because…cause Mikey left it to me. And- and I was like…I am fuckin’ angry at Mikey. And it was like- like a fuck you. Watch me do it better then you ever fuckin could” I said and run another hand through my hair at the realization. “Cause I fuckin’ - I only care about provin’ to myself that - that maybe I’m not a fuckin idiot. That I’m not useless.” 

“You aren’t an idiot, and you are not useless, and it sounds like you feel selfish- because you’ve found yourself in a pattern of catering to others desires. How do you feel about your own desires, Carmen?” She asked and I shook my head a bit. 

“No- no that’s..that’s what I’m saying I’m selfish. I - I’m a fuckin control freak at work everything is done my way, everything is tweaked to my standards, I don’t care what other people have to say about the re-“

She cuts me off “no- not your desires at work, in your life. Outside of work. In your relationships, friendships, personal goals? What do you desire your life to look like when you retire?” She asked and I swallowed thickly, my mind going blank. 

“That is a great topic for today, desires. It is extremely hard, especially after a traumatic event or even years of incurring trauma, and then allowing yourself to desire. We may feel selfish as Carmen does, after we incur tragedy in our lives- to feel joy again, or allow new people in our lives because we are afraid that if we desire while we are unhealed, then we were never really damaged to begin with.” She said and a guy sitting a few chairs away from her clears his throat. 

“I uh- yeah I relate a lot to what Carmen said about feeling selfish..after my brother died I stopped doing…everything I loved.” I look over at him, sitting up in my chair slightly. Cause I felt like if…if I’m happy then I don’t miss him? Or..or like. Like if I think about our good times together and loose the anger I feel about him killing himself for a few seconds- I feel like…like I’ll never stop thinking about what the fuck our lives would have been like if he just talked to me.” He said and crossed his arms. I sit up a little further in my seat. 

“Mikey - he was m-my brother. He killed himself too” I said and he looked over at me, “I’m sorry…older or younger?” He asked “shit- yeah sorry I should have led with that I’m sorry too. He was- he was older…” I replied and he nodded, swallowing thickly and looking away. 

“You couldn’tve done anything. I fuckin failed him though. He was younger” he muttered and I furrowed my brow shaking my head. “Nah. Nah don’t fuckin’ say that shit about yourself dude. Both of our brothers did it to themselves. That's one thing that we’re not responsible for. I’m- I’m angry that he- I needed him. Just like you needed your brother” I said and he nodded a bit. 

Claire cuts in “it is normal to feel angry at a loved one for committing suicide. It’s also completely normal to feel guilt for that anger. Jack, it sounds like the anger you’re harboring for yourself, for not ‘protecting’ your brother from himself- is covering up a guilt you feel for a perceived responsibility to the reasoning behind your brother's passing.” 

“I’m fuckin angry.” I shrug. “I’m fuckin- pissed at Mikey.” I said and she looked at me. “A question for you to ask yourself, Carmen, are you angry at Mikey or are you angry about the choice he made, to end his life, and leave you behind to forever miss him. Because they are 2 separate things. One is your brother, and the other- is a stupid choice he made. A choice that altered the lives of the people closest to him forever. He made the choice to have his legacy be one that ended in pain, and suffering for those who love him most. That choice, or Mikey - your brother that you clearly love very, very dearly.” She asked. 

I felt a lump forming in my throat, blinking back tears and I looked over to the clock. 

“Let’s circle back, yeah we have about 5 minutes left. This week's homework for you all, I want you to do one thing, or speak to one person” she looks to me for a moment “that you desire, and it’s guilt free, because you aren’t giving yourself the permission, I’m giving you the permission, and next week- we’re gonna talk about how it made us feel alright?” She said, 

“Alright. Hopefully I’ll see you all again next week. Same time and place per usual” she got up and went over to the desk grabbing her bag. I got up, grabbing the water bottle and quickly darting out of the room and back down the hall to the front door. I shoved it open taking a deep breath as I went down the steps 2 at a time back to the parking lot. 

I am not fucking going back there ever again. 

I shook my head to myself, but realized that I didn’t feel…like I was gonna have an episode. Er- panic attack like Winnie called it. But rather than everything I’d buried about Mikey felt like a hardened scab to a barely healed wound had been picked at and messed with for a while. It was an extremely uncomfortable feeling. This is why I stopped going to AI-anon. Talking about it hurts more than just focusing on other shit and forgetting about it when I can. 

I dug my cigarettes out of my pocket, taking one out and lighting it, leaning against the car as I smoked. I don’t know why Sugar keeps telling me that it’ll get better if I just talk about it, every time I talk about it I’m fuckin realizing shit. And I don’t like realizing shit. About myself. About Mikey. I’d rather just…fucking work. Just work. But I also hate work. 

I’m brought out of my thoughts to the same blonde that irritated the scab which felt permanently fused to my soul. “Spirits huh?” She said and I looked over at her. “Yup” I mutter, taking another drag. 

“I get it. I get it… if you don’t want to talk to me outside there it’s fine. I just wanted to say, I’m proud of you for opening up, good job. You should be proud of yourself.” She took a pack of Marlboro reds out of her purse and a blue lighter. 

“Thanks…” I said, watching as she took a drag. “No offense… but I kinda feel worse?” I said and she laughed, smoke spilling from her mouth in a cloud. “None taken my friend, none taken.” She said, waving her hand in front of her to clear the thick puff of smoke. “That’s good actually, really good. It hurts before it helps” she shrugged, taking another drag. 

“So- wait the fuck did I do t’you?! You wanna hurt me before you help me?” I questioned, pulling on my own cigarette. “Nothing oh my god!” She laughs. “Nothing Carmen! Oh jeez” she giggled slightly. “You need to come back, shut out the voice shooing you away” she said with a teasing smile and I rolled my eyes. “Sorry, not interested in ripping open old wounds when I’m already not able to process the bullshit I’m facing now.” I look at the ground, taking a long drag. 

“Mmm. Alright.” She shrugged casually, dragging her own and exhaling without a beat. “ what?” I asked her, dropping my cig and crushing it with my sneaker. “I…don’t care?” She laughs a bit. “If you want to stay in the mental prison you’ve created, so be it, Carmen. But- I’m here! Every week for the past 11 years” she retorts, tossing her cigarette into a puddle over the parking lot barrier. 

“Nice meeting you, kid. Word of advice-“ she turns to me as she pulls her driver's side door open. “Do the fuckin’ homework, mm?” She sits in her seat, starting the car. “That girl you mentioned, whatever her name is- I may be a shrink - but I’m also a spouse - the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about her? That's your wife, if I never see you again? I hope you’ve gone and got her.” She pulled her door closed without another word, backed out of her parking spot. 

I felt a vibration against my hip, pulling my phone out of my pocket  in case it was one of the employees and checking who it was. My throat dries out as I listen to the marimba ringtone, staring at my screen, my mind going blank. 

Winnie 🍯 Mobile 

The slide to answer button practically laughed at me. 

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

#the bear fic #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto fanfiction #the bear fx #the bear hulu #carmen berzatto fluff #carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto fanfiction #the bear fanfiction #carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto smut #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x oc #carmy berzatto x oc #carmy the bear #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy x reader

[beauty-and-passion]

FSS3: Season 2 finale - Part 1

Welcome, everyone, to the unofficial season 2 finale.

First I will post the four parts of my take on the season 2 finale of Sanders Sides, then all the episodes of season 3.

Updates every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

HERE is the explanation of the project

HERE is the introductory post

HERE the AO3 link to read this part (every part will be available both here and on AO3)

As said in the introductory post, Fanders Sides Season 3 (season 2 finale included) could have triggering themes/scenes. Please keep that in mind before reading.

And now, finally, let's start.

_______________________________

This episode serves as a recap of the situation until now.

Thomas and Nico are on a date and we get to know Nico a little more: he studied art and literature. He wants to be a songwriter and a few singers already commissioned him some songs, but he’s still not gaining enough money to leave his current job. So, he keeps working as a bartender and he usually picks the night shifts, because the salary is better. Also, he’s kind of a night owl, so he doesn’t mind staying up late.

Thomas comes back home, still giggly and excited about the date. Everything was perfect, everything was amazing, Nico is amazing.

Roman approves and revels in the beautiful feeling of love. He looks completely satisfied and relaxed, even if his expression still shows an underlying tension.

Logan is happy too. Nico seems nice, but they are still wasting too much time in basic discussions about themselves: they should talk more about art and literature, since Nico is an expert in this field. They can compare their favorite writers, talk about their favorite singers and discuss the different musical genres.

Roman doesn’t care about the topic of their conversations: they can talk about everything they want, they can even talk about grocery lists and it would still be wonderful and perfect.

Patton is happy for Roman and admits that yes, Nico really seems like a nice guy. It’s good Thomas found love, he makes his old dad proud!

Virgil gives a sarcastic remark: jeez, thanks Patton for giving your approval, now we can keep seeing him. But we’ll do it anyway, because Nico seems a very cool guy.

Thomas agrees: Nico is great, isn’t he?

All Sides give their approval, except for Janus, who just stays in a corner, minding his own business. Thomas notices it and asks him what he thinks about Nico.

Janus replies that he’s not interested in Thomas’ mushy, romantic feelings. They are not his area of expertise.

(Both Roman and Virgil give him a dirty look.)

However, adds Janus, since it looks like this guy makes Thomas happy, he is happy as well.

Thomas confirms he’s very happy indeed and tells his Sides there will be another date tomorrow. He is over the moon, he can’t believe Nico enjoys his company so much, to ask him for another date!

At the same time, he’s a bit worried: is it okay? Are they truly ready for this? He doesn’t feel… ready. Is he going too fast, maybe?

Roman laughs: too fast? If anything, they’re going too slow! Thomas should’ve already confessed his love and called Nico his boyfriend! But they’re still stuck in the “friends/a little more than friends” stage! Thomas should make his move asap and get Nico before someone else does it.

Yes, Remus confirms, by suddenly appearing and scaring the shit out of everyone (except for Logan, who just rolls his eyes). You better get a move on, Thomas. Just tear his pants apart, then go straight for the d…

You can’t hurry these things, Logan interrupts Remus. Relationships take time to grow, hurrying them would lead to regret and disappointing expectations.

Patton agrees: Thomas needs more time to get to know Nico better. Right now, he cares for Nico, sure… but he doesn’t love him yet.

Janus confirms that yes, of course Thomas needs more time. He cannot pretend to fully know a guy he met twice.

Roman dismisses their protests: they don’t know what they’re saying and they’re all stupid anyway. They just talked about how cool Nico is and how great this relationship is for Thomas! Of course they should make the next move as soon as possible! But Virgil knows better and he will side with Roman, right?

Virgil takes a moment to look around and bite his nails. Then, under Roman’s expecting gaze, he finally admits that Thomas needs more time.

Roman is shocked: what? Why? Weren’t they both on board with this?

Sure they are, Virgil confirms. But they also need more time.

Roman raises his voice: they did it together, Virgil was the one who pushed Thomas to start this relationship and now he wants Thomas to slow down?! Doesn’t he care about Thomas? Doesn’t he see how happy he is and how happy they both are? Thomas and Nico should be a couple asap! They should be boyfriends now!

Every word makes Virgil feel more and more uneasy. The others notice it and, in the end, it’s Janus who snaps first by asking Roman a simple question: do they really know who Nico is?

Sure they know, Roman replies. He’s the cute guy they met in the mall, he’s a poet, a songwriter, an artist and a beautiful soul.

And what does this “beautiful soul” really want? Janus asks. Are they really sure Nico wants Thomas for who he is? What if he wants to exploit Thomas’ fame for himself? What if his kindness is just a façade and all Nico wants is to use Thomas to pursue his career? He admitted he’s not making enough money with his songs: but if he finds a guy with a stable fanbase and enough money, he can drop the job he doesn’t like and let Thomas pay everything for him.

Roman protests: Nico is not like that! He didn’t even know Thomas was an influencer! Heck, he had absolutely no idea of who he was, before Thomas himself told him today! It’s pretty clear he doesn’t like him for his fame!

Janus crosses his arms: so you think it’s pretty normal that a normal guy accepts a date from the weirdo who admitted he spent hours spying on him and his backpack?

It was to check if he was gay as well!, Roman protests. Thomas wasn’t “spying” on him!

So it wasn’t weird? Janus retorts. A guy approaches you, tells you he was checking if you’re gay and you think he’s good enough for a date? Would Thomas have done the same? Of course not. But what if it was a famous influencer who stalked him and asked for a date? Now that guy doesn’t seem such a weirdo as before, right?

Not good in both cases, Logan replies. You cannot trust random people, whether they are strangers or influencers.

So, Janus continues with a thankful nod towards Logan, since this is common knowledge and Nico looks clever enough to know that, then there should be another reason why he thought it was okay to accept Thomas’ request: he knew who Thomas was and wanted to exploit the situation.

Roman protests again: Nico accepted Thomas because he was touched by his purity and honesty. By openly admitting what he was doing, Thomas proved he was good and kind. And since Nico is good and kind too, he agreed to go on a date with him. His honesty attracted Nico, not his money or fame. And Janus would know too, if he had any idea of what honesty is.

Patton intervenes because he notices the rising tension and admits that, hey, they both have a point. Sure, Nico seems trustworthy and kind and nice… but they also do not know him well enough to be sure. And even if he feels it’s okay to trust Nico, he wants everyone to feel the same. And Thomas should think about it too.

Thomas agrees with Patton: he should take his time, until every part of him feels more at ease with the idea of pushing things further with Nico. He should learn more about him, to know where his heart is. And Nico should prove to him that he likes Thomas for who he is and not for his fame or money.

Patton nods: he’s very proud of Thomas’ decision. He’s really growing up and becoming a mature boy!

Janus agrees too: Thomas should keep his guard up and not blindly trust everyone.

Logan agrees: a longer relationship will only strengthen their bond.

Virgil approves too: spending more time developing their relationship will make Virgil feel more at ease and ready for when it will be time to push things further.

Remus shrugs and leaves, without a single care.

Roman, on the other hand, doesn’t say anything. He just balls his hands into fists, before sinking with a furious expression.

_______________________________

END CARD

Virgil and Roman are discussing and Roman accuses Virgil of not siding up with him. Three Sides were against him, but if Virgil sided up with him and his stupid brother, they would’ve reached a tie. But he chose to take these traitors’ side instead!

Virgil justifies himself: it’s not that he doesn’t want to push things further with Nico, but all things need time and he’s the first who needs more time. He still is 100% on Roman’s side, he just asks for a little more time. That’s all.

Roman is still angry and leaves, to sink into his room. We see a study, part of a table filled with documents/scripts/books.

Roman hides his face between his hands. For a moment, it looks like he will start to cry: the moment after, he stands up angrier than before and, with a frustrated scream, throws everything that is on his desk on the floor. He even picks up a book and angrily throws it against a mirror.

The broken mirror echoes in his ears, his reflection shows an orange hue in his eyes. Roman snaps out of his fury: he looks around, while a disembodied voice softly snickers in his ears.

Roman yells to “go away” and “leave him alone”, until the snickering stops and he’s alone again, in his trashed studio.

_______________________________

AUTHOR’S NOTE

As said in the beginning, this episode serves as a recap, because it’s been YEARS since the last canonical episode and people have all the reasons to forget what the fuck happened. So we will reintroduce Nico and raise the conflict between the Sides once again. Too many useless things happened in the meantime, we need them to rebuild the tension.

In addition to that, I wanted to reintroduce the trademark element of Sanders Sides, which is Thomas standing in his living room and talking about an issue with his Sides. Not all episodes have to be huge and complicated after all, especially this one which is just part 1 of 4.

However, along with the trademark element, I also added a new element, which is the private conversations between Sides, in which we can expand on them, their conflicts and their ideas.

And yes, I added one first little orangey hint, because it was time to give something more than just orange eyes. Consider this an additional element of tension. This is a finale, after all.

( Support me on Ko-fi )

_______________________________

TAGLIST:

@royalprinceroman @reesiereads @mudpuddlenl@allmycrushesaredead @aquatedia@whatishappeningrightnow  @effortiswhatmatters @bella-in-a-bag  @doydoune @forever-third-wheeling​ @payte​ @hypnossanders​  @idontreallyknow24​  @imcrushedbyarainbowoffical​ @patton-cake​  @hereissananxiousmess​  @purplebronzeandblue​  @cynicalandsarcastic​ ​@lost-in-thought-20​ @andtheyreonfire​ 

@riseofthewerewolf​ @rosesandlove44​​  @chewy-rubies @groaaaaan​ @arya-skywalker​  @csi-baker-street-babes​ @queen-of-all-things-snuggly

@dracayd-universe​ @starlightnyx​ @stubbornness-and-spite​ @averykedavra @joyrose-fandomer @mihaela-tbg @igonnatalknothing​

@thatoneloudowl​  @grayson-22  @softangryfuckingdepressed @theotherella  @boopypastaissalty @nevenastark @varthandiveturinn @roses-bubbles @cuter-on-the-inside  @coldbookworm  @snixxxsmythe​ @charmingcritter  @analogical-mess @emphasis-on-the-oopsie @selfdestructivecat @yangwalkerao3

#sanders sides #fanders sides season 3 #fss3 #thomas sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #orange side

[mandareeboo]

Total Drama Island Review, “Dodgebrawl”

Last time, on Total Drama Island! The team went head-to-head in The Awakeathon, a challenge to see who could stay up the longest! It was a rough battle, but the Screaming Gophers managed to pull above the rest by the skin of their teeth, leaving the Killer Bass to choose Eva as their disqualified teammate. Heather made an alliance with Beth and Lindsay while Trent and Gwen looked out at the stars.

Like last time, the poll actually went the same as the show! Marking Ezekial and Eva as off both in canon and in this silly little fanon we're making.

This week, we come to "Dodgebrawl!" An episode a lot of people tend to forget about. But not here! Get ready for a lot of dodgeballs and maybe a few sleepy Duncans as we progress through.

SYNOPSIS

(Chris) "Duncan! You look like death, dude."

We open on the mess hall. The Screaming Gophers are chipper and happy as they dine on their mushy breakfast- the Killer Bass, on the other hand, not-so-much. Chris comes over to check in and learns that Harold snored all that night, causing a rough bout of sleep across the board. He laughs at Duncan- currently going on four days of no sleep, for those not keeping track- only to back off when the boy threatens to get tried as an adult for murder.

Someone- probably Duncan- decides to get even, painting a marker mustache on Harold. The boy seems to like it, however. Mission failed we'll get 'em next time.

(Gwen) "I'm so tired... I can't even feel my face."

Chris announces Gwen's arrival. The Gophers cheer for their clearly bedraggled teammate, still high off their win from last week.

Courtney gets on the bathroom cam to complain about kicking Eva off- something she herself had been on board with at the time. I'm picturing Eva on Loser Island pointing at the screen and bellowing HYPOCRITE.

On a more serious note, Heather goes over the refined rules for the alliance. There's three in total. 1.) Heather is top dog, don't fuck with Heather. 2.) Fucking with Heather can get you kicked from the alliance. 3.) Heather has full access to Lindsay and Beth's items, but they cannot touch anything of hers. The girls are less than pleased with this, but arguing means losing a spot in the final three.

Heather goes on to taunt the Killer Bass, leading to a glob of Chef's Delight getting yeeted into Gwen's face via Courtney.

The teams are eventually herded into a mini-gymnasium they've set up on the sand. Duncan threatens to turn this show into a snuff film before knocking out for the day on the bleachers.

Chris announces the challenge for the week: dodgeball. He explains the rules just in case someone has never been in a public school gym class before- hit with a ball you're out, catch a ball the thrower is out and you can call someone in, you can deflect balls with other balls (but if it's knocked out of your hands, it counts as getting hit), you know the drill.

The Gophers have too many players, so two have to sit out every game. Gwen is obviously out due to lack of sleep. Noah gladly volunteers to sit out as well, being not exactly a brawny fella.

This leaves the teams as: DJ, Courtney, Katie, Tyler and Harold VS Heather, Lindsay, Owen, Leshawna and Cody.

The match starts off strong with Owen throwing Tyler into a wall with a dodgeball. Harold tries for some fancy shit and fails despite Leshawna giving him a free shot, getting out immediately. Katie manages to get a likely concussed Lindsay but she's just happy to flirt with Tyler.

Gwen almost gets out onto the field but gets clocked by DJ, who she thanks before wandering off. Cody pulls some ACTUAL fancy shit and the first game goes to the Gophers. 1 to 0.

Second round comes along and Noah refuses to be switched in. Honestly, though I see why this ends up getting him in hot water, I have absolutely no room to talk and would sit out during dodgeball. Such is the life of being a wimp.

Tyler decides he's somehow the most capable player and demands all the balls. He manages to hit Chef, the wall, and- on accident- Lindsay. One for three my man.

Tyler has a moment of heterosexual panic over clocking the girl he likes and helps her up. Then he's too into his feelsies not to notice Trent coming up and gently whacking him with the ball. No one was overly fond of this move.

Owen loses his cool and decides to casually knock out the rest of the Killer Bass in a thrilling display of stanning a bi king. 2 to 0.

(Duncan) "You better have a really good reason for sticking this up my nose."

Desperate to stop sucking, The Killer Bass made a group decision to wake up Duncan. But no one's really interested in being a victim on his rap sheet, so they grab a stick and poke him with it. It goes about as well as you'd expect.

Once debriefed and properly blackmailed, Duncan reluctantly agrees to join in on the game. He comes up with a strat from his first juvy visit- grabbing all the balls and yeeting them at one person in particular. It's vindictive, it's rude, it wins them this round. What I can only assume is copyright-free Ava Maria plays over the slaughter. 2 to 1.

Frustrated by their loss, Heather wanders off to find Lindsay, currently flirting with Tyler underneath the docks. Her lesbian rage ignited, she yeets a canoe at him and drags her back to the game. During her absence the Gophers have lost again. 2 to 2.

The final round goes on far longer than the ones before it. Constant switch-outs and saves are in play, making for a rotating roster of players on both sides. Noah tries to make a joke and gets hit for fun. Rip.

Eventually, we come down to Owen and Harold. The Gophers celebrate what they feel is an easy victory. But Harold is a slippery bitch, and soon proves to be impossible to tack down. He explains he did figure skating.

Harold takes a blow to the gut but comes out victorious. Congrats, Killer Bass! Your first win!

VICTORY: KILLER BASS

Campfire time! Chris reiterates the rules, a first-time event for the Gophers: everyone safe gets a marshmallow. The person who does not receive a marshmallow must walk the dock of shame, board the boat of losers, and leave. And they cannot come back. EVER.

We all know how this goes, folks. Noah is kicked off for his lack of teamwork and respect. Chris laments that, yeah, it wasn't the most outrageous campfire ever. But he still gets paid! Fade to black.

FINAL REVIEW

Ladies, gents, and those who snuck pas the guards. It's time to find out the truth. Did "Dodgebrawl" win a marshmallow and bean its opponents in the face? Or did it get a blow to the balls, get voted off, and be forced to walk the dock of shame to the boat of losers, never to return?

"Dodgebrawl" is. An enigma. It's not the worst episode, but it's not memorable either. I daresay it's in the middle. Even as a kid, I remember being pretty bored during this one- and I didn't really see the point of voting Noah off. He was an easy target, yeah, but it wasn't like having him fighting for victory today would've done anything. Boy was a stringbean. That said, I fully expect the poll to say the same as the show this time, simply because Noah DIDN'T participate.

Verdict: 6 out of 10 marshmallows. Got a dodgeball right to the chest.

Character Mistakes:

Gwen hardly participated at all

Heather spent most of her time yelling instead of throwing balls

Lindsay never got with the program

Noah refused to play

Trent, Cody, Beth, Izzy, Owen, Leshawna and Justin all appeared to do their best

Character Remaining:

Screaming Gophers: Gwen, Trent, Heather, Cody, Lindsay, Beth, Izzy, Owen, Leshawna, and Justin.

Killer Bass: Goeff, Bridgette, DJ, Tyler, Sadie, Katie, Courtney, Duncan, and Harold.

#Total Drama #Total Drama Island #Dodgebrawl #Manda Reviews #Sorry the girls are lumped together! #I couldn't have more than ten options

[herefortarlos]

Hello! Nice ask week asks for you! 1) What are your top three Tarlos moments? 2) Have you ever been the same again since discovering Tarlos? 3) If you could hang out with TK and Carlos for a day and you chose the activities, what would you get up to?

Awww, thank you for the ask, Cig 🥰 I can answer question 2 real quick; no I have not been the same since discovering Tarlos 😆! Tarlos is my 3rd extreme hyper fixation I've had over a fictional couple, but it is the first time that I've not only found 2 characters I absolutely love but they are also canonically a couple! It is becoming more common thankfully, but it is still so hard to find a well written AND canon gay couple in media! Tarlos has been such a nice change where I don't have to imagine these two wonderful characters being together and only having fanfic and some scenes to base that on, they are officially together, they have many on screen kisses and they're married!! And I've made so many wonderful friends and have also been more open about my sexuality and who I share that with because of Tarlos! 🥹 So I hope my obsession is here to stay for a long time!

Oh jeez, my top 3 Tarlos moments?!? But there are so many to choose from and it's always changing 😆 Get ready for my long winded thoughts! I do think my #1 has to be the wedding! I still can't watch the vows scene and listen to them without crying, I just loved their vows to each other sooo much, they were perfect to me and who TK and Carlos are as people and how they have grown since season 1 to now! And I loved TK asking Tommy to sing Being Alive for him as a gift to Carlos and to me that's not a spur of the moment thing, that is a, TK asked Tommy weeks ago if she would do this and why this specific song was so meaningful and I cry just thinking about that conversation and how honored Tommy felt that TK went to her 🥹. And the way TK and Carlos cry and hold each other during her singing is just too much and I love it! I'm so happy they're married!

For my second top moment I am including the entirety of s3e13 Riddle of the Sphynx! I rewatched that episode and skipped to all the Tarlos scenes the other night and I was a wreck! I loved all the domesticity and flirty Tarlos we got, I loved jealous Carlos and that dinner table conversation is still one of the absolute best scenes that Rafa and Ronen have acted together. TK trying to explain to Carlos why he can't help with this and Carlos begrudgingly accepting it and then fully realizing, when TK is looking through photos of his mom, that he is out of his depth and if he wants to help TK then he needs to get in contact with the person that can truly empathize and help him, and that is nothing against Carlos! Him realizing that this isn't about him, it's about the man he loves, and that little "I love you. I know" moment, TK knowing then for sure that he is going to marry Carlos, and then Carlos' little happy, satisfied smile as he leaves the loft, all of it made me a mushy, blubbering mess and absolutely blew me away again, after seeing that episode like 10 times now! Oh and the use of Transatlanticism was amazing as well!

Phew, and finally for my third moment, I am going to cheat and say TK's and Carlos' proposals!! TK's proposal being at 3 in the morning in their bed, where it's soft and quiet and just meant for TK and Carlos 😭 absolutely perfect! I loved that TK was no longer afraid of love or losing it and it was such a pinnacle moment to show that TK is done running from Carlos and then he proved that time and again in season 4! I also loved him petting Carlos' hair and rubbing his ear!

Then at the end of season 4 we get the gift we didn't know we needed in Carlos proposing to TK! Them saying that they have saved each other, Carlos realizing that TK and wanting to be married to him are the only things in his life he is 100% certain of! TK getting the joy of being proposed to and Carlos smiling for the first time in days when he sees that he made TK smile 🥹 My favorites may change again but these are the moments that first came to mind and I love them all so much!

Okay and finally, if I could hang out with TK and Carlos for one day and do anything, I would honestly want them to show me around Austin! We would need to go to a cat cafe, I looked it up and Austin has a couple! (I am currently watching a stream of a cat cafe and that is influencing my choice 🤣) because Carlos could finally pet an animal and TK and animals are a match made in heaven, and can you imagine how cute they would be surrounded by cats 🥹 I would also want to go clothes shopping with them because Carlos needs some more variety aside from all the plaid dad shirts, just a little bit of style and color! And seeing some of the research that people have put into looking up TK's clothes, that man has expensive tastes and I want to know if he actually looks at price tags or just grabs all the things he likes without looking 😆 And I would want to go back to the loft and eat some of Carlos' cooking! Give me some ropa vieja and tamales, please 🤤. And then I would want to go out to a queer club where this supposed night life is that we haven't gotten to see 🤣 Ohh, what a dream that would be!!

#thank you so much for the ask Cig! ❤️ #I'm sorry it took me so long to get to it #My mind has been mush and I wanted to write a good response when I was feeling up to it! #1 more ask to go! #nice ask week #part 2 😆 #911 lone star #tarlos #desi answers

[titantroopers]

Top 10 Most Underrated Anime

Top 10 Most Underrated Anime You Need to Watch: Unleash Hidden Gems

The world of anime is vast and ever-expanding, overflowing with popular titles that dominate conversations and streaming queues. But beneath the surface lie hidden treasures – underrated anime gems waiting to be discovered. These shows offer exceptional stories, captivating characters, and stunning animation, yet haven't received the widespread recognition they deserve.

So, if you're a seasoned anime fan looking for something fresh, or a curious newcomer eager to dive deeper, this list is for you! We've compiled 10 phenomenal anime series that deserve a place on your watchlist:

1. Shouwa Rakugo (Showa Era Rakugo): Embark on a historical journey through the captivating world of rakugo, a traditional Japanese form of comedic storytelling. This emotional masterpiece explores themes of mentorship, perseverance, and the power of storytelling across generations. (Keywords: historical, drama, slice-of-life)

2. Yakitate!! Japan: Calling all food lovers! This hilarious anime throws you headfirst into the high-pressure world of competitive bread baking. Expect outrageous scenarios, wacky characters, and a surprising amount of heart as our protagonist strives to become the ultimate baker. (Keywords: comedy, sports, food)

3. Beastars: Dive into a world where carnivores and herbivores coexist in an uneasy truce. Beastars is a visually stunning anime that tackles mature themes of prejudice, identity, and the struggle to find your place in a complex society. (Keywords: drama, mystery, social commentary)

4. Ping Pong the Animation: Don't be fooled by the seemingly simple premise of table tennis. This anime is a masterclass in animation with a unique visual style. It delves into the competitive spirit, the pressure to succeed, and the delicate balance between teamwork and individual drive. (Keywords: sports, coming-of-age, psychological)

5. Yuri!!! on Ice: Get ready to lace up your skates and be swept away by the beauty of figure skating! Yuri!!! on Ice is a heartwarming sports anime that celebrates passion, dedication, and the power of mentorship. It also boasts a vibrant cast of characters and stunning animation sequences. (Keywords: sports, figure skating, LGBTQ+)

6. Mushishi: Take a break from the high-octane action and immerse yourself in the serene world of Mushishi. This atmospheric anime follows a traveling doctor who encounters strange occurrences linked to nature spirits called "mushi." Each episode is a beautifully crafted story filled with wonder and quiet contemplation. (Keywords: fantasy, slice-of-life, mystery)

7. Princess Jellyfish: This heartwarming comedy follows a group of socially awkward otaku women who live together in a quirky boarding house. As they navigate the challenges of daily life and pursue their passions, Princess Jellyfish celebrates friendship, self-acceptance, and the importance of finding your own community. (Keywords: comedy, slice-of-life, josei)

8. Hinamatsuri: Prepare for a laugh riot with Hinamatsuri! This hilarious anime throws together a yakuza boss with a telekinetic alien child. The ensuing chaos is a side-splitting exploration of family, responsibility, and the unexpected bonds that can form between the most unlikely characters. (Keywords: comedy, science fiction, slice-of-life)

9. Silver Spoon: Trade cityscapes for sprawling fields in Silver Spoon! This charming anime follows a city boy who enrolls in an agricultural high school. As he learns the ropes of farm life, Silver Spoon offers a heartwarming and educational look at the world of agriculture and the importance of hard work. (Keywords: slice-of-life, comedy, agriculture)

10. Run with the Wind: Calling all sports anime enthusiasts! Run with the Wind is an inspirational underdog story that follows a ragtag college team striving to qualify for the prestigious Hakone Ekiden relay race. This anime beautifully captures the camaraderie, struggles, and triumphs that come with pushing yourself to the limit. (Keywords: sports, drama, inspirational)

These are just a taste of the incredible anime waiting to be discovered. So, grab your snacks, settle in, and get ready to unlock a world of hidden gems! https://titantroopers.com/top-10-most-underrated-anime-you-need-to-watch/

#anime #anime news #anime review #top 10 list #anime blogs #titantroopers

[b3crew]

No Borders No Race: Episode 316 | B3 - Boston Bastard Brigade

PAX East 2023 work is done, but King Baby Duck is still deep in his work for Anime Boston! So today, he's spinning some songs from classic and current anime! From the Lovely Angels and Spike Spiegel to a gender-changing sibling and a tanuki girl, our host spins some great songs from some great series!

PLAYLIST (with series streaming links):

Kazuya Yoshii - Chōzetsu☆Dynamic! (opening theme to Dragon Ball Super)

Seatbelts - You make me cool (insert song from Cowboy Bebop)

Ally Kerr - The Sore Feet Song (opening theme to Mushi-Shi)

Meiko Nakahara - Ro Ro Ro Russian Roulette (opening theme to Dirty Pair)

GReeeeN - Taketen (ending theme to Fortune Favors Lady Nikuko) [currently not streaming]

Franz Ferdinand - this fffire (opening theme to Cyberpunk: Edgerunners)

Yoshiyuki Ohsawa - Go Go Heaven (opening theme to City Hunter)

Jun Fukuyama - DIES IN NO TIME (opening theme to The Vampire Dies in No Time)

Duran Duran - Girls On Film (opening theme to Speed Grapher)

SUMMONERS 2+ - DeCIDE (opening theme to How NOT To Summon A Demon Lord)

Sumire Morohoshi - Ready to (opening theme to BNA: Brand New Animal)

Savage Garden - I Want You (ending theme to JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable)

ONIMAI SISTERS - Himegoto*Crisisters (ending theme to ONIMAI: I'm Now Your Sister!)

Click here to listen!

#king baby duck #music #anime #j pop #j rock #alternative #no borders no race #podcast #dragon ball #cowboy bebop #mushi-shi #dirty pair #boston bastard brigade #black compat #fortune favors lady nikuko #cyberpunk #city hunter #the vampire dies in no time #speed grapher #how not to summon a demon lord #bna: brand new animal #jojo's bizarre adventure #onimai: i'm now your sister! #diamond is unbreakable #franz ferdinand #duran duran #ally kerr #savage garden

[stormblessed95]

Hi Storm, i love jikook and vmin but I love yoonmin too! What are some of your favorite mushy yoonmin moments? Thank you in advance!

I got one of these already, but yall know I love yoonmin and so I'm always willing to talk about more of their moments! Lol

Yoonmin ITS 1 and 2 makes me wanna curl up into a fluffy warm ball of happiness! Equal parts silly, teasing, loving and supportive.

The adorableness that was run episode 118. The corporation for photos together and the adorable whining "suga hyung" of Jimin as he kept trying to get Yoongis attention over and over again lol

When Jimin fell for Min YoonJi during Run episode 11 lmao he thought suga looked so cute

And his tweet with Min Yoonji

The massages back and forth whenever the other is feeling a little sore or just because the other happens to standing in front of them 🥰

(From seasons greetings 2020)

Jimin going to Yoongis home and talking about visiting with Holly and how Yoongi is a giant softie when it comes to his dog and how cute it all was 🥺

(From BST BTS Ask in a Box video)

STOP TEASING US ABOUT A SUBUNIT AND GIVE IT TO US ALREADY PLEASE. They way they talk and the stuff they tease about, they want that MiniMini subunit just as bad as everyone else does!! Please, we are BEGGING. I WOULD COMBUST. Suga saying he wants to see Jimin do a more serious rap song in 2020 too. Let us have it!!! Their Tony Montana Stage. The way Jimin keeps telling Yoongi he is ready to work and ready for a song. And the way Yoongi says Jimin is his favorite voice anytime he gets the chance and how he wants to do a song together. And this moment too, the snippets of information we are given and then we never get to hear?! Jimin recorded the guide for So Far Away! I would pay way too much money to hear that!

(From Festa 2017, video here)

From their 4th Muster in Korea DVD, Yoongi answered the question about what the most memorable gift he had received was, and his answer was a handwritten letter given to him on his birthday from Jimin. He carried it around with him for over a month too 🥺🥺🥺

My babies, my biases. Their bond is so precious and sweet and kind. They rib and tease each other mercilessly though too. Which is absolutely part of their charm. Lol the first to take a dig at each other, but it's so clearly from places of love 🥺🥰 their friendship is so amazing. I love it!

#yoonmin #yoonmin friendship is so funny and so sweet

[x-chaotic-echo-x]

Campaign 2 had some really INCREDIBLY clutch rolls at key points in the plot. I mean like the last few episodes those dice were doing some crazy improbable things to give us the beautiful happy ending the nein all deserved. (Thank you for Molly, wild mother)

Maybe it’s bad of me and certainly this isn’t to say I don’t want my mushy sweet happy ending for this next campaign, but I feel like I’m ready for the dice to give us an ABSOLUTE tragedy and see how the players and Matt pick themselves up and move through it. Campaign 2 was so beautiful in a lot of ways because of the loss of Molly and the way the Nein mourned him and came together after him. Imagine if that day finally comes when the dice utterly betray the party and we get a near TPK. What if one character loses everyone and they aren’t soft deaths like vox machina had a lot of and they have to grieve and find a way to move past that? It’ll fuck me all the way up but I would love to see more of the table handling serious tragedy and grief and the character(s) growth and stumbling as they persevere through it.

#critical role #campaign 3 #i love angst with a happy ending okay

[disfordevineaux]

Hello ! So if you finished watching season 4, could you share your opinion on it ? Did it meet your expectations ? Was the ending satisfying ?

HELLO! Yes, yes I have. Pretty much the second it came out I was watching it. I have pretty much been in a gif making coma for the last 3 days since its release, and I think the fact it's over has now just hit me.

I really liked s4. It was rushed, yes, but that's understandable considering the context. S4 was clearly not the initial plan. Not many Netflix aminated TV shows reach S6 or past that, so I have a feeling they were going for 6 seasons but had to cut it short. It's better than it getting officially cancelled. Which is most likely why season 4 was full to the brim with actions and character development. So I'm not mad at the quick end but I would have loved at least one more season to really flesh the development and plot points. No more so than the Devineaux development in regards to the new Julia and Chase dynamic.

Before I go into that I want to address the solo Chase-ness that was fantastic. Chase got his ass kicked like 5 times this season, once by a chair.

And was clocked by a frisbee for good measure too.

Oh, and landed on his car another time. The pain in his face... I- help this man.

But he got to kick some of his own asses this season too ofc.

Anyway, Chase really stood up and said ‘I am a Himbo’ this season and it filled me with joy. Just look. veryveryveryvery handsome as always I approve of this message.

Enough said.

Let me get on with the big thing I want to talk about. The Chase and Julia dynamic reinvention.

If I’m honest, it did feel quick, due to time constraints, but not out of nowhere. My expectations for Chase and his growth was blown out of the water. I was incredibly impressed with his physical display for admiration for Julia in the end. His way of officially apologising, (as someone said on a rb of one of my posts), Chase is a person of action and his grand gesture of giving Julia the spotlight, as well as a few glowing compliments and a callback and twist of what he used to say, was a great twist on just an ordinary apology. I adore how you can clearly see that he means it.

It was monumental, if a subtle display of respect that clearly struck a positive chord with Julia, and only could have with Julia. Just look at her face in the gif above, PURE. She clearly seemed as though she had decided to forgive his past transgressions after his help in her rescue.

Most definitely helping in her decision to return to ACME to be his partner again. Know she isn't alone and that Chase truly has changed for the best. I love how Chase was complete rapture that she had decided to return, even going for a hug. The guy really went from S1 striving to be stoic all the time, to allow himself to wear his emotions and expressiveness on his sleeves. Just, good vibes right there. It felt like the s4 Chase we got was always there but hidden by his ego and by himself deliberately.

Wholesome stuff my guys. My heart was FULL. I tell you. FULL. I slapped my hand to my chest in awe. He even asked: ‘But your academic career?’ and was happy to be finally able to hunt down real criminals with her, as, and I quote, a family. Adorable.

Don’t even get me started on the fist-bumping. I would throw myself into a pit of fire for them.

And those inside jokes? I could be here all day. Their dynamic now, if not nearly displayed a much as I wanted, was nourishing to my soul. Just LOOK

And that is just one scene.

After the first time jump of 3 weeks, they appeared to be finally enjoying one another company, a true team. Then after 6 months, it seemed even more natural, playful too. They trusted each other's abilities and opinions. Sharing their belief that Carmen was good as well as supporting one another as good partners should, especially Chase. They look so comfortable in each other presence it was immaculate.

They appeared content, and I loved that most of all. Chase was genuinely interested in Julia’s explanations and it was heartwarming to see. Julia appreciating it too. Watching them interact as close friends now was such a treat. The last 2-3 episodes, in particular, Chase even asking her to continue and adding onto her historical divulges. Awesome stuff. And Julia running into Carmen just as she was about to punch Chase’s lights out was pretty sweet too, as well as her getting one in on Cleo, GO GIRL GO. Julia this season had so much more depth. Loved it.

Also, finding out Chase’s name is in fact a self-given nickname was right on theme with the show. So many people with real names we will never know.

Back onto the expressions and his enthusiasm. I mean LOOK. This dude- AND THE CAT JACKET RETURNS!

He just loves his wordplay.

Anyway- The effect Julia had on him was profound and just fantastic to see. He wanted to be better. Chase will no doubt rub off some of his own flairs onto her in due time I'm sure.

Chase working with carmen and the small interaction we got were great as well. Still a little rigid, but full of intrigue.

Chase wanting to go and save Julia, because he earlier felt as though this was all his fault, was precious too. And the whole Tigress and Chase fight scene was amazing. He trapped her inside a casket, iconic. And Chase showing up as Julia is like ‘omfg Devineaux is that you?’ As he just all suave says ‘fashionably late as always’ and pushes his messy hair back like HOOO BOY you lovely little stinker I would die for you. He was ready to fight 1 v 3. No one has the same determination as a Devineaux. For an ordinary guy, he is really able to keep up with the best, if not behind a tad I MEAN UM. DUDE SLID DOWN THE STAIRS AND JUMPED RIGHT INTO A HOLE. No second thought THEN SWUNG HIMSELF OVER NO PROB? Who is this athlete of a man?

Like my man, you are not graceful at all please let carmen do it.

In the end, he really did save them both which was vindication, Speaking of vindication:

Okay, I really went off track and hardly said what I wanted to say. I got carried away with gifs. I think I said what I wanted to say? Right now my brain is still mushie.

To finalize: I was content with the end. Zack and Ivy joining ACME as Carmen has some time to go truly find herself was an interesting idea. The 2 year time jump at the end left a few holes but hey, I’ll take it. Shadowsan returning to his brother was so nice to see, and Player all alone in the restaurant kinda broke my heart. The entire storyline with Chase and Julia was absolutely, revolutionary. It was what we deserved, what they deserved.

I think my love for Chase really made me live for the scenes and moments we got of him alone and interacting with others. Season 3-4 really were his crowning glory. I'm proud of him.

Also, I want to mention the Zack/Turtle scene because I nearly died when I saw it the way the turtle wiggles and the way he rUNS I- okay goodbye.

#season4spoilers #im so sorry this post was so long and i dont think i even said what i wanted but oh well #i have so many inboxes to answer i #i do love em tho keep em coming #i am still in my gif coma as u can see by the 50000 gifs skjskdjs #sorry sorry #chase devineaux #carmen sandiego #julia argent #carmen sandiego netflix #carmen sandiego 2019 #disfordevineaux #disfordevineaux ask #cs chase devineaux #cs julia argent #chasulia #platonic and romantic #pick your poison

[jediknightobiwan]

Boba smut, you say?

Could I get some dad bod Boba love post-Mandalorian season 2, if you've finished the new episode? Because our man definitely deserves some love after that shit. I personally headcannon him as being dominant AF, with lots of pet names, and a tendency to be a little rougher. Maybe some post-battle fucking to wind down in Slave I.

Thanks!

OFC We love Dad Bods here I will NOT tolerate Temura hate like at all. We don’t expect women to stay the same all their lives and we shouldn’t expect the same of men.

In talks with @emilykjh we decided that Boba decidedly, is a brat tamer so I’m definitely going along the dominant caregiver route with him.

Also tbh and probably shockingly I haven’t watched the new season all the way through AT ALL it was emotionally too much for me when it started so now I can binge it whenever 😅 I just learn things through gifs cause I don’t mind spoilers! So things may be very Vague when it comes to plot or I’ll just go with what I’ve gathered happens after the last episode. But let’s do some Older Boba stuff yes, everyone who understood the significance of Boba’s appearance better say thank you Mr. Temuera for your service.

Boba Fett x Gender Neutral Reader

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: Caregiver/Little BDSM relationship, Daddy Kink, Age Gap (cmon he’s in his 50’s), slight drool kink, slight degradation, slight choking

💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋

                                                  [[READ MORE]]

Your ears perk up at the sound of heavy bootsteps on their way and you quickly rush to clean up your little area. Ever since Boba had taken his throne and conquered most of the underworld you and him and Fennec who you adored had made a nice little home for yourselves. What Boba teasingly called your nest was a corner of his throne room that you (and Fennec) had padded and stuffed with pillows, blankets, stuffed animals, one very long and squishy pillow and a very very large cushion you called your tuffet. It was cute little safe space you sat, read and napped in when you wanted a little alone time.

It was usually a kind of organized chaos but lately you had let it get a bit wild and before Boba had left earlier he’d told you to have it cleaned up by the time he was back, and like a true Little who usually forgot orders once they were given and wasn’t reminded you had become distracted with other things. Which is why now you were slightly sweating under your soft robe as you scrambled to set everything in its proper place so he would never know you’d-

The steps had stopped echoing. You suddenly realized besides the slick of fabric between your fingers and your little pants that the room had actually been quiet for a minute or so. You swallowed a little hard but continued your work, spreading out soft blanket on your tuffet and then tucking it underneath. Finally, you smoothed your front and turned with a smile ready for your lover.

“Daddy! You’re home! See I uhm..I did my one chore today!” You were beaming, a little sweat on your brow and your voice was sweet and welcoming. In return Boba tilted his helmeted head at you in such a way that you knew what was he was saying without him needing to voice it.

Really? Did you? Is what that look said and you fidgeted slightly, lower lip jutting out every so softly.

Well-it still counts! Doesn’t it?? Your look said and after another moment of silence you hear a sigh come from him and he finally comes toward you with a gloved hand extended to cup your face.

“I suppose I’ll let it slide today,” he says, thumb gliding over your lower lip as his eyes bore into you from behind the visor. “I’m too tired to properly punish you for waiting until the last second anyway.”

The words were slightly worrying but if something was really wrong he would’ve told you, so you brushed it off and kissed his thumb gently.

“I’ll make it up to you,” you promise, reaching to cup his helmet in your hands and then bringing your foreheads together in a keldabe kiss. He hums deep in his throat, his way of saying that you’d better.

“What can I do tonight? A hot bath? A massage?” You gasped and jumped a little, grinning. “Both??”

Boba chuckles and removes his helmet, the smile still on his handsome scarred face. “How about just a massage pet? My old muscles could use it.”

“Ah you’re not old cyare.”

You giggle at his eyebrow raise and pat his cheeks then push gently on his chest plate to back him into the hallway and towards his bedroom. Once inside the large yet fairly bare room you begin the slow and intimate process of removing his armor for him. It was something you’d been doing for awhile now, ever since you’d settled into your roles. He did so much...it was one sweet thing you could do for him back.

The tension was practically melting out of your love’s shoulders as the beskar came off. Your arms had long since adjusted to the armor’s weight over the months of this sweet ritual and the warmth of Boba’s soft eyes as he watched you easily carry his prized possessions never failed to make you feel like the most important person in the galaxy. Your skin felt fully flushed by the time he was sitting on the bed and you’d removed his boots for him.

“My sweet little Dove...,” Boba murmurs, reaching out his now ungloved hands for your hips and bringing you closer, his face now level with your chest. You smile he nuzzles against your soft skin and hum happily, arms sliding into position around his broad shoulders without a second thought.

Dove. How you loved your pet name from him. You were his sweet thing, his Little, his pure (he insisted you were pure compared to him and you’d given up trying to convince him otherwise) darling treasure. Your soft lips pressed kisses to his head and you murmured, “My Daddy...,” to which you could feel his smile against your skin just stoking flames inside you.

You remained entertwined for awhile longer, both just caressing each other sweetly and basking in the loving bubble you created each time you were together. And then you remembered what you were supposed to be doing and gasped, pulling away to look down at Boba.

“Your massage!”

Boba blinks at you in confusion for a second and then laughs, keeping a tight grip on your hips even as you go to pull away and get the oil. He gently grips your chin -effectively stopping your struggling-and brings your lips to his. You sigh softly into the kiss and simply melt like wax beneath a flame into his arms-apt considering it immediately stoked the soft fire that had begun to burn in your belly the moment you saw him into a good sized blaze.

A whine escapes your lips even as Boba depeens the kiss and pulls you onto his lap fully with your crotches rubbing together sinfully.

“Don’t laugh at me Daddy,” you whine, kissing his broad nose and then going back to his mouth. Your arms slide down around his waist and you squeeze, taking petty pleasure in the way his breath escapes him when you do. “It’s mean!”

Your Caregiver seems to, funnily enough, care, very little about your plight since as you whine he just hums and runs his big hands down to your ass and squeezes none too gently. He grins devilishly as you jump and kisses you again, lingering longer this time and swiping his tongue over your lips before he pulls away.

“So what if it is? You like it when I’m mean Dove baby...you know you can’t lie to me.” Boba jerks you closer to him and ruts his hips upwards against you, causing you to whine loudly as want shoots through your core painfully.

“Yeah baby that’s what I thought....you like it when I’m mean. Big bad mean Daddy...ain’t that right?” The older man swats at your ass when you don’t answer, your brain becoming mushy already from the feel of his body beneath your hands and his impressive cock only growing harder and longer against the apex of your thighs. “I asked you a direct question little Dove. You know I don’t like it when you don’t answer.”

After shaking your head to clear it just a little and your hands balling up his undershirt to hang on for dear life you manage a nod with your mouth open just a tad, unnoticed by you but very noticed by your lover. His eyes drop to your lips and he growls slightly, strong hands kneading at the soft flesh of your ass before he delivers two hard, stinging pops to your backside.

“Speak, cyar’ika, speak when Daddy tells you to.”

Maker you are just gone for him. You swallow the water that had gathered in your mouth at the rough handling and say clearly, full of need that that’s right, Daddy is a big bad man...your big bad man...and you even elaborate on how you love him so for it. Wetting your lips you rock against him as he basks in your obedience and drinking in his soft moan like wine, your lips rubbing against his.

“Let me massage you Daddy...I said I would...cmon. Please? Let me help?” The groan Boba emits tells you that he’s thinking of something else now, something with him on top but before he can open his mouth to give an order your bratty, slightly manipulative side comes out and you use your saccharine please Daddy do this for me or I’ll be oh so sad voice to plead to him.

“Oh please Daddy? Let me make you feel better. You said yourself you’re tired! You need a rest, just a brief one and then...” You untie your robe and let it fall, your whole body bare to him now, causing the erection between you to pulse. Your fingertips graze his throat as you tilt his face up towards yours and bite his lower lip teasingly. “You can massage my insides with that big cock of yours~ How’s that sound?”

Judging by the growl in his throat and chest- Boba likes the idea very much, and you have to fight to keep the smirk off your face. Drawing on some confidence just to tease him more you get off his lap and order him to strip and lay on the soft king sized bed the two of you shared. You could see his brown eyes narrow, debating on whether or not to just grab you and throw you on the bed and mount you like a fucking animal, but when he stood something popped in his shoulder audibly...and he stripped without a word.

The control you had over your face slipped and your grin shined out in full force as your older boyfriend complied to your demands. Really he was just a big softy with as much love to give as he had muscles and cute love handles. While he disrobed you found the bottle of massage oil he’d brought you back from one of his excursions that had multiple uses when came to making things easier, and fluffed the pillow in the middle of the bed that he always used. Your bed was so nice and so soft with lots of room for the two of you and yet Boba always slept in the middle, arms right around you and you near the edge facing the bathroom.

But you didn’t mind, you thought as you watched him lay down on his stomach with his head cradled by the now fluffy pillow and his tan body stretched out of the dark sheets. However he wanted to sleep-even if he sometimes squeezed too hard during a dream-was fine with you, as long as you were together.

‘Not gonna stand around all afternoon lookin’ at my ass are you?” You blinked and focused on Boba who was now smirking at you.

“Pbbbbt,” you said with a roll of your eyes. “No of course not! But if I was, who could blame me? It is a wonderful sight.” You climbed onto the bed as he chuckled. Knowing it would be uncomfortable for him and his still hard cock if you sat on his hips, you opted to sit more on his juicy ass instead. He hummed at the weight of you and relaxed into the pillow.  

“Well if you think so it must be true,” he mumbles, “you are almost always right little Dove.”

“I am always right,” you corrected, dribbling the ever warm oil onto his broad back. He purred, and you knew it was because of the oil, but you liked to think it was because of you so you smirked. “That’s what I thought~”

You went to work then on his sore muscles, flexing your own to work the knots out with your skilled hands. Boba let his noises out freely as you worked; grunting, groaning, moaning and even at times whimpering with your palms smoothing over every inch of him you could reach.

The sun had sunk a bit by the time you were done and Boba rolled onto his back so you could finally straddle his hips. The evidence of your arousal from massaging him and his cute little noises was pressed against his balls. Your hands were on his chest and he was smoothing his own up your back slowly, sending shivers up your spine.

“My Dove...,” Boba starts on a soft sigh, his hands pulling down now to your hips to begin a gentle rocking. His cock was hardening again between the two of you and your own arousal was growing each second. “You love such a man like me? Old, a bit chubby, scarred?”

A soft sigh escaped you at the rocking, finally just a little bit of the release you had been craving since his return. You looked deeply, lovingly into Boba’s beautiful eyes. To you he was the most beautiful man in the galaxy, no matter how much he complained about his aching joints or how he was too old for you.

“Oh silly Daddy...” You sighed, taking the bottle of oil one more time and drizzling just a little on his perfect cock before taking it in your hand. His eyes darken as he watches you tilt your hips and line thick head of him up with your hole, his large hands gripping your hips tightly with anticipation. Taking the head of his cock you slap it against your hole before popping it inside and sinking down so slowly you knew his hands were going to leave bruises from gripping you so tight.

Once he was fully seated inside you you rotated your hips and opened your eyes just enough to give him a heady look. “As if I was destined for anyone else...”

You managed a wink before succumbing fully to your want for your lover, the fire he’d been stoking now turning into a raging storm with his thickness stretching you out perfectly. You both reached for each other at the same time and your mouths collided hotly as you bounced on him at an already quick pace. No time to adjust fully, fuck, Maker it just felt so good to be impaled on him again that you were frantic and starving for it. Teeth clashed, fingernails marks were definitely being left in sensitive areas and after just a minute or so you pulled away from the messy kissing to angle yourself better and slam onto Boba.

Your head was thrown back beautifully as you screamed your devotion to him, to his perfect fucking cock that was literally making you drool even while you were split open by it. Boba growled seeing the slick moisture on your lips and he sat up, yanking you close with a strong hand on the back of your neck. His hips met a bounce of yours and you cried out-only to have the noise muffled by a big thumb in your mouth. His other arm was right around you waist, keeping you on him but unmoving.

“That’s my sweet baby...suck on Daddy’s thumb...yeah just like that-fuck.” Even cockdrunk you knew how to work your lover up, sucking on his thumb dutifully and as enthusiastically as you did your favorite appendage of his. You even took his one hand in both your smaller ones to bring the digit further inside and you could swear Boba pulsed so hard inside you you thought he’d finished for a second.

He pushed down on your tongue hard and dragged your jaw with him, and much to your initial chagrin and then immediate arousal, let a long stream of drool pool out and fall where you were connected with him. You moaned at the filth of it and at the complete submissive state you were in. Literally, you were in the palm of Boba Fett’s hand.

Boba groaned and smirked at you, looking at the wet spot and then back at you. “Such a good pet aren’t you? I love it when you get me soaked little one~”

Maker you felt like exploding right then! But he wasn’t done with you, oh no. He pulled his thumb from your obscenely wet mouth, sucked your salvia from it and then rolled, pulling out of you with a wet echoing sound. He easily manhandled you with your hips popped up and grabbed your pillow to bury your face in. He slid back home with no resistance and you moaned freely, your eyes rolling back and your lower lip getting caught between your teeth.

“Mmmmm my sweet little pet...such a good slut for me aren’t you? Always so needy...so ready for Daddy to come home and take care of you...” As he spoke he’d started thrusting into you, gaining in speed. “Fuck...baby, I love you so fucking much, so, fucking, much!”

Now he was straight pummeling you. Your voice was going to be nonexistent when he was through with you if this kept up, your nails digging into your pillow so hard your knuckles were white and you could do nothing but spread your legs wider for him like the slut he’d called you. You were Boba Fett’s personal slut, his little Dove and his soulmate-nothing in the galaxy could be better than this.

As he neared his end he made sure to drag the fat head of his cock along those special spots inside you he knew so well while his mouth bit and sucked on the external spots until your toes curled so tightly he joked that they may never uncurl, the smug bastard. His lips found your neck again in a sweet spot as he bent over you, slamming so deep inside you could taste his precum on your tongue.

“Cum for me baby,” he murmurs, callused thumbs flicking over your nipples before one palm encloses over your throat and squeezes the sides deliciously. “Cum for Daddy little one.”

It was no question, no suggestion, it was a demand. And like the good Little you could be when you wanted, you obeyed. One last scream was ripped from your throat as you were pushed off that ledge into white hot pleasure so perfect it enveloped your whole body. Boba held you as you became tense and then limp, his own release coming not far after yours (not surprising given how hard your insides had been squeezing him) and as always overfilling you in a way you could only describe as obscenely delicious.

“Good job little Dove. I’m so proud.” Came a voice from above and behind you. You knew it was Boba, you knew yet somehow a little voice in your head thought it was the Maker talking to you. Your lips quirked in a little smile as exhausted gasps left your now limp body, only held up by Boba’s hands and his cock that was still pumping cum into you. You felt lips along your neck so lovingly and you sighed contentedly.

“I love you...” you whispered, beginning to fall asleep with him still cradled inside you.

He chuckled softly and kissed the tip of your ear, rubbing your back soothingly before very slowly sliding out of you.

“I love you too baby...go to sleep. I’ve got you.”

It would be hours before you woke, cleaned up and tightly nestled into Boba’s arms as always with the two of you so close it was like you had been born that way. And when you did you squeezed his middle tightly enough for him to softly grunt and then settled back with him, feeling for all the galaxy like you were the luckiest person alive because no one could love you like Boba Fett. And you couldn’t imagine loving anyone else.

@emilykjh @sailorsquadgoals @penfullofwordsaheadfullofstories @ohdeargodnotyouagain @ihaveashield @ezraslittlebirdie @labyrinth-runner @asaucecoveredsomething @thisainttheway @anakinswhore @sleepwithacommunist

#boba fett #boba fett fanfiction #boba Fett x you #boba fett x reader #gender neutral reader #Star Wars #star wars fanfic #my fanfic

[chalkrevelations]

Huh.

Well, this is not the next episode reaction you were expecting, but a while back, in the middle of the night, while I was ready to cry from working on a pharmacology paper, out of nowhere, Youtube threw up Street Dance of China S3 Ep1 at me. And yeah. I am, admittedly, f’kn weak for a dance show. (There are enough SYTYCD episode reax on my old Livejournal that I feel there’s no point denying this.)

So – no, actually, wait. FIRST of all, I do NOT believe the “towel vote” we ended up being given for the opening routines from the four captains. That was the most blatant bit of bullshit chicanery I’ve seen in my LIFE, and I say this as a person with a ton of SYTYCD episode reax on my old Livejournal, and I also say this not because Wang Yibo ended up last (well, not entirely), but because I saw Wallace Chung’s routine. As someone closer in age to him than to the other three captains, I have to give him props for trying, but come on, man. The critique that Yibo got from random contestants – if the subtitles are to be believed, so I realize this needs a grain of salt - basically boiled down to “it was too good for the stage lighting.” :hands: Also, I saw your face at the reveal, Wallace, and you were as shocked as I was. No way you got more towels/votes than Wang Yibo. Not unless there’s some super wild undercurrent of nostalgia propping you up, which, I guess could happen, because literally all I know about pop culture in China, current or otherwise, is filtered through Tumblr and Youtube, both notoriously suspect, but … anyway. There’s got to be a TON of behind-the-scenes manipulation going on for Yibo to be rock-bottom with last pick of teams but then also to end up with THAT pool of possibles. Are you kidding me with this?

ANYWAY, what I wanted to say is that I actually really like Wang Yibo here, and it’s not just because he’s the only captain I have even a sliver of familiarity with, and it’s not just because Lan Wangji was banging Wei Wuxian. I do realize all of this is influenced by whatever edit they’ve decided to give a particular captain or contestant, but I’m impressed with the way Yibo immediately starts team building by getting his group into a warmup, getting them dancing together, getting them dancing with him before they have to worry about dancing for him. (I mean, come on, Jackson Wang. The way to get people to stop being nervous is not to say “Stop being nervous! It will make you fuck up!”) The way Yibo immediately recognized and responded to his group’s concerns about that one dude copying someone else’s routine probably also bought him a lot of return investment. He’s dressed to work it, in his sweats and his flannel (what IS that fake-leather TAC vest and random leg holster-looking thing, Jackson Wang?). He’s convincing me he really loves to dance, he can’t hold still while he watches the contestants, he’s wandering over into other captains’ turf when it sounds like there’s a dancer performing who he might like to see, he’s being the best Yibo he can be, and I’m grooving along, wind in my hair, totally down for this ride. He’s also adorable at the beginning when all the other captains are like, my goal for this season is to slaughter the competition and dance on their graves! And he’s like, well, I’d like to … make some friends? And learn some new stuff? I don’t know if the perpetual Humble Student schtick is natural or persona, or whether it’s general or specific to dancing, but it’s working for you, my dude. This is also made better (read: ironic), by the fact that it’s immediately before the towel reveal, when he flips over to utter disbelief and gets all sulky for a while over the “fact” that his dance routine got the least votes.

Also, OH WAIT. This is where that clip of Yibo dancing with his crew ALL OVER HIM came from that I saw floating around a few months ago, isn’t it? You’re telling me those guys had never danced together before and had like, three minutes to throw together that routine? I’m even more impressed than before. Meanwhile, the towels symbolize courage and challenge, Mr. Emcee? OK, fine, cheesy reality show blah blah whatever. Can we get to the dancing now?

I’m going to put the rest of this behind a cut, because it got super long, because it turns out, when you watch in 5-minute increments, it takes two and a half weeks to get through a single episode, but you actually can see and have opinions on all 5,328 contestants, plus every single one of the captains’ battles. Meanwhile, I’m trying to convince myself this is not going to be another series of episode reactions, but 1) I do have the benefit of not having a ton of hometown media giving me a next-day play-by-play, so even though this is six months old, everything’s a surprise; 2) I am, admittedly, f’kn weak for a dance show; and 3) it’s easy to watch in 5-minute increments between researching drug interactions in hypothetical hypertensive patients with stable ischemic heart disease, erectile dysfunction, and seasonal allergies. So, I guess we’ll see. It’ll be slow going, though, because I don’t ever have two and half hours to sit down and watch an ep cover-to-cover – if it happens, it will likely keep happening in 5-minute increments. Meanwhile, there is a metric shit-ton of nattering below the cut, so caveat lector. No, seriously, I kept adding to this little by little until it became a monster. Hashtag long post (remorseful).

OK, I am generally out of my depth here, as this is not at all my area of dance not-really-expertise, but some reactions:

Team Wang Yibo: I can see why he didn’t want to choose between Colin and Dian Men – Colin might have been a touch better technically and a better showman, but Dian Men didn’t seem to have a single wasted move – but, also, my dude. Yibo. You maybe should look a little bit less stunned and overwhelmed by the mere presence of Colin, it’s giving me ideas about your taste in men. Continuing with the powerhouses, I probably shouldn’t even attempt to critique Klash, but I did feel like he was a bit stiff in some of his footwork; that final V kick, though, shit, that’s what having that kind of upper-body strength is for. Bouboo … I mean, excellent flexibility and control, of course, but mainly I’m just terribly amused that Yibo got last pick of teams but somehow ended up with the guy who’s literal world champion, and who’s just as useful for getting into the other captains’ heads – without even trying – as he is for his talent. And then there’s a montage of Yibo giving out towel after towel after towel, and my dude, you cannot keep up this pace. There are still too many dancers to see, and you don’t have that many towels. AAANNNND Towel Battle #1 (See Footnote 1).

Team Jackson Wang: I do like Gai Gai, although that may be influenced by the fact she’s working in the twilight area between hip-hop and contemporary that I have more familiarity with - but also, I suspect she’s pretty good in her genre. I thought Xiao Jie was inconsistent and didn’t stick the landing on his initial attempt, so I have to give you that hesitation, Jackson, even though you’ve somehow ended up the villain in my inner narrative for this show, for no particular reason I can yet discern. Maybe it’s that you’re the direct competition for Yibo’s team in the towel battles. Good enough. Anyway, Xiao Jie definitely stepped up his game for the battle with Bingo, so I can kind of see why both of them got a towel, but we’re not even halfway through this, and most of y’all are giving away towels like you have an endless supply. Yang Kai is a fucking menace with fantastic musicality, and I’m just gonna say it and take the fallout - I think he gave a better performance first time out of the gate than any of Yibo’s powerhouses did. Whatever power Klash has got, whatever skill Bouboo has got, Yang Kai feels more explosive and engaging, at least in these initial showings. He’s going to be one to beat, I’d hug him too, if he was on my team and was going to help me WIN. Yibo’s probably lucky that happened during his little stroll over to check out the competition, so that he can see they’re definitely competitive and be prepared for it. Also, Jackson, I have to admit - that face you made when Chao really kicked in? That was the same face I made, because wt actual f, you have a literal secret weapon – secret because he CAME FROM NOWHERE and NO ONE EVEN KNOWS him, how is that even possible, how did he get that good – fluid, creative, controlled, incredible musicality - without anyone having any idea who he even is? And then there’s a montage of Jackson just giving out towel after towel after towel, and my dude, you need to slow down. You can’t just be like, “THEY LOVE DANCE WITH ALL OF THEIR WHOLE HEARTS!!!!1111!!!!11!” I get it, but everyone there loves dance with all of their whole hearts, and there are not enough towels to send all of them on to the next round. ANNNND, Towel Battle #1 (See Footnote 1).

Team Lay Zhang: lol at how diplomatic you’re being, Lay Zhang – your team’s fierce roar startled you, OK. At this point, I suspect you’re the street most likely to have a knife fight break out before this is all over. I do like Alex, I think he’s got a lot of interesting, super-clean details in his moves, and he’s engaging - I cannot BELIEVE you made him battle that dude whose moves were so mushy, Lay Zhang, it leaves me doubting your ability to judge this thing. At first I thought maybe you were just looking for an excuse because you wanted to see Alex freestyle, but then you actually said something about both dancers being equal, and my estimation of you plummeted, and also sadly, my sound dropped out for the actual battle, including the part where the clearly inferior dancer fell over and then accidentally POPPED ALEX ONE IN THE EYE, and I TOLD YOU SO. I do agree it’s a good idea to make dancers in the same genre do some battling, so you can kind of plan out your towels and put together a team with broad strengths, instead of giving out towels like you’re making it rain for the first 20 contestants, and then you have 1,375 more people to get through, with 3 towels left, as EVERYONE ELSE seems to be doing, so it’s nice that at least one of you guys is thinking – if not actually acting - strategically. That was clearly not even a contest, though, GIVE ALEX HIS TOWEL and send him to the next round. Xiao Bao is hilarious, with his concern that his team captain, who’s into krump, which is “beating,” isn’t going to appreciate his waacking, which is “slapping.” I also don’t know a whole lot about waacking, so thanks for the primer, Xiao Bao, and don’t worry, your performance is just as engaging for those of us who don’t know what we’re watching as you are generally. You deserve that towel for your ability to interact with and engage your audience, alone. Lingo is a good solid performance, although he’s got his team captain strategizing edited over some of it, and here’s the thing: we are 1:56:00 into this, at this point, with another half hour to go, and all of you are starting to disappear into the sea of dancers who are very good at what you do, but at generally the same level? Anyway, Lingo, I approve of your ability to interact with your audience (read: your captain) to ensure engagement, too, so keep that up. Annnd, we actually haven’t seen that much of you guys, but it’s time for Towel Battle #2 (See Footnote 2).

Team Wallace Chung: I’m glad Su Lian Ya insisted on performing, I thought she started off slow but warmed up, and that ending was creepily fantastic and had me spontaneously grinning at the screen in delight. Then we lose sight of this group for a really long time, actually. We go back to find Wallace putting through a couple of urban dancers who we barely see, but who apparently claim to have some choreography experience, and he really likes that. TI shows up, and they’re solid, but honestly, not as good in this performance as they were in some of the stock footage the show threw up to introduce them, but Wallace remains super-excited about the idea of choreography and sends at least choreographer Zhang Jiang Peng through to the next round. And then, we really haven’t seen that much of you guys, either, which maybe doesn’t bode well, but it’s time for Towel Battle #2 (See Footnote 2).

FOOTNOTE 1, aka TOWEL BATTLE ONE, Team Yibo vs. Team Jackson, 3V3 freestyle: First of all, I have to say, I love Yibo - Mr. I Just Wanna Make Some Friends And Have Some Fun - being all, “I have three crappy white towels I’m stuck with for coming in last place that I can’t use to send dancers to the next round and that I DO NOT DESERVE, and I am getting BACK the colorful towels that ARE RIGHTFULLY MINE. I am coming for whoever is in my way.” Team Yibo is Bouboo, Klash, Dian Men, and OK, given what we’ve seen so far, that’s the safe choice, but honestly, I think we’re just taking some things for granted right now, and I’m not sure they actually have given the best performances so far. Yeah, I said it. Team Jackson is Yang Kai, Chao, and Xiao Jie, and … ok, on that last one, I think you probably could have substituted Bingo, but all right. Yang Kai is a definite yes. Chao will be great if he can stay out of his own head and not psych himself out, but given what we’ve seen so far, he’s an obvious pick. First round, Yang Kai vs. Klash, and Yang Kai is still a fucking menace, with super lines. Klash definitely stepped up his game for the battle, and I can’t get over the upper body strength he’s got, to get that kind of airy bounce in his moves, but to be honest, I can’t even be mad the first round went to Yang Kai and Team Jackson. Second round, Yang Kai is still … y’all, the beautiful lines from this guy in his poses, I can’t get over them, but I think he doesn’t have the stamina, his footwork is getting sloppy. Bouboo also steps up his game for an actual battle, his fluidity and control is amazing, and yeah, round to Team Yibo. Round three, Xiao Jie gives it a decent effort, but the polish isn’t there; meanwhile Bouboo is still in champion mode, and I was kind of surprised this was a split vote and went to another round. Xiao Jie absolutely surprised me, coming back stronger on his second try, although I suppose a more familiar genre helped, but Bouboo continues in champion mode. Round four, Chao looks like he’s going to throw up right before he steps out there, and then as soon as the music starts, it’s like, he doesn’t even think. The music just moves him. I feel like his dance vocabulary is more limited than Bouboo’s, though, and Bouboo’s flow is amazing at this point, so I feel like the judges just want to drag this out and see more dancing when we go to one more round. Strong effort all around, but yeah, round four and two towels to Team Yibo. I can’t really complain about that. I do feel like Yibo’s powerhouses have been holding back until now, though, and I’m not sure how I feel about THAT.

FOOTNOTE 2, aka TOWEL BATTLE TWO, Team Zhang vs. Team Wallace, 3V3 w/ captain: lol, Team Zhang really wants someone to pick the Sailor Moon song because they know Xiao Bao and his waacking will tear it up. Anyway, Team Zhang includes Lingo and Xiao Bao, who does not get his Sailor Moon song and continues to be hilarious in his disbelief about being chosen to participate in this battle, when he’s not looking almost as sick as Chao from Team Jackson before HIS performance. Team Wallace includes Su Lian Ya – and honestly, despite how I’m getting ready to bag on him for the entire rest of this battle recap, I like that Wallace put one of his female dancers up there for the battle - and some dude named Ba that they haven’t given us any footage of, up ‘til now, at least that I can remember and who I … don’t even know has been formally given a towel and sent on to the next round, yet? Oh wait, he must have, because there’s talk in the pause for choreography about somehow using the towels during the battle. Wallace relies on Su Lian Ya and Zhang Jiang Peng to choose Ba, and then Ba ends up choreographing a lot of the performance, at least from the edit we see. I continue to feel you may be in over your head, Wallace. This feeling … is not assuaged by your performance in the first round, which is fine, but not really up to the level of almost anyone whose name I’ve bolded so far in this entire recap. Also, using the towels was a cute idea, but it doesn’t translate well, and Team Wallace has a lot of wasted time throwing the towels around instead of actually. You know. Dancing. Lingo gets a credible solo during Team Zhang’s performance, and even though Xiao Bao is clearly lost during a good bit of his backup dancer duties, he manages not to throw up, which – given this team’s general skill level – should be enough to give them the first round, EXCEPT SOMEHOW Team Wallace gets the point from the judges, who then try to justify this inexplicable decision by saying Team Wallace had better interaction, I guess because of the hot mess with throwing the towels around, but adding that Team Zhang was more scattered, which what? More scattered than the hot mess with the towels? I’m not buying this. I can’t tell if they’re propping up Wallace or fucking with Lay Zhang’s head, but I’m having bad acid flashbacks to the many and varied ways dance show judges will try to gaslight you, telling you that things you just saw with your very own eyes did not actually happen when it’s right there! On camera! Visible, despite whatever edit bs you’re pulling! ANYWAY, they’re definitely managing to fuck with not only Lay Zhang’s head, but Xiao Bao’s, and Xiao Bao still doesn’t seem to have his choreography down, but they manage to pull it together enough to take the second round, which to be honest is kind of a muddled mess on everyone’s part. The only one who really stands out to me on this go’round is Su Lian Ya, but OK, Team Zhang might have had it slightly more together as a unit. And then, yeah, OK, I think they were fucking with Lay Zhang’s head, because we then find out that, holy shit, the song the show powers-that-be chose for the tie-breaking third round is that gd Sailor Moon song, and we can all see the writing on the wall. Poor Team Wallace is no match for Xiao Bao, who frankly, carries this entire round on his shoulders without breaking a sweat and barely needs any backup dancers to do it. There’s some ridiculously dramatic reveal of scoring, with the judges dragging out their decisions like this was any actual contest - I’m beginning to suspect that some of them grew up with Wallace Chung posters on their bedroom walls - but finally, round and towel to Team Zhang.

Cut to a little bit of Next Time On, and wow, the first two-and-a-half-hour episode is over, and we aren’t finished with the initial round yet. It’s gonna be Christmas before I make it halfway through this season.

#street dance of china #sdoc episode reax #should i put yibo in the tags for this? #sure #i guess #wang yibo #anyone else?

[grelleswife]

Top 5 Anime

Death Note

With its supernatural elements, increasingly nerve-wracking games of cat and mouse, ethical dilemmas, unrelenting suspense, and hilarious melodrama (“I’ll take a potato chip...and EAT it!”), it’s little wonder that Death Note has become a classic within the anime community. I also hold a special fondness for it as the show that facilitated my descent into fandom hell. 🖤

Mushishi

This early 2000s anime chronicles the solitary wanderings of Ginko, who numbers among a select few able to see mysterious, otherworldly creatures called mushi. While not actively malicious, mushi often cause upheaval when their lives infringe upon those of humans; thus, as a mushishi, it is Ginko’s job to maintain the fragile balance between men and these primordial beings. Filled with a quiet enchantment laced with melancholy undertones, Mushishi is both haunting and soothing. Not for everyone, but a must-watch if you enjoy fantasy or more introspective shows than the typical shonen fare.

Death Parade

Don’t let the lively OP fool you—you’ll need a full box of Kleenex at the ready when watching Death Parade. The main story centers around the arbiters, who are responsible for judging the souls of the dead...a mission usually accomplished by pushing the newly-deceased to their moral and psychological breaking point. Though only 12 episodes long, Death Parade offers a poignant and often heartbreaking look at mortality, what it means to be human, and the extent to which any of us have a right to pass judgment on the lives of others. No other anime made me bawl my eyes out like this one!

Mononoke

In certain respects, this show is similar to Mushishi, i.e. is produced as an anthology and has an itinerant protagonist capable of interacting with supernatural forces. That being said, Mononoke (not to be confused with the Studio Ghibli film) is also strikingly unique, lingering in the viewer’s mind long after the final episode. Our main character is the enigmatic Medicine Seller (or Kusuriuri in Japanese), who travels the country battling evil spirits called mononoke, which attach themselves to negative human emotions such as anger, betrayal, guilt, etc. However, before vanquishing a mononoke with his magic sword, the Medicine seller must learn its Form, Truth, and Regret. Thus, each mini-arc within the series is focused on unraveling the mystery behind each mononoke’s origins. Be warned that this series tackles many heavy and potentially unsettling topics, including abortion, murder, and domestic abuse, but its artistic merits are undeniable. Mononoke’s animation is absolutely stunning, with a psychedelic surrealism that both baffles and delights in equal measure.

Kuroshitsuji (excluding Season 2)

I’d be remiss if I failed to include my problematic fave! After all, what other series can boast of having the incomparable Grelle Sutcliff? ❤️ The anime adaptations often fall short of the manga’s excellence, but their legendary OPs and EDs are still among my favorites, and even the filler of Season 1 has its charms. And when the “Book of” anime nails the dark tone and pathos (especially during the circus arc), it nails them. We just pretend that Season 2 never happened. 😉

#ask me my top 5 anything #thanks for the ask!

[howtosingit]

I haven't had a chance to fully dive into all the goodies last nights video has produced.. nor have I had a chance to read all your thoughts which you know I crave love . I was dumb and watched 3 911 episodes last night ignoring my ig notification that ronen had shared anything so then I had to go to bed bc of work and work has been crqzy. But anyways I just wanted to hear some of your thoughts and say Tarlos officially fried my brain and I really want to write in the spare time I don't have bc of work 🙈🙊 their soft smiles, kisses, possibly meeting the fam, their date (and let's be honest Carlos was hot as fuck sauntering up to the bar announcing he was tks boyfriend... you know someone got laid that night) sorry not sorry 🙈

Anyways hit me with your thoughts when you're free if you want ❤

LISTEN, LAUREN. I am always up to share my thoughts because they never end and they just keep coming and I have to unleash them somehow or I will definitely explode.

My brain was just like, ALL CAPS SCREAMING, for about 7 hours yesterday, so I’ll leave you to explore that hot mess on my blog if you want. 😅 But, in the time since, I’ve seen a lot of discourse and stuff about the moments that we’ve seen, so I’m going to use this ask as an opportunity to weigh in on everything under the cut...

FIRST, CAN I JUST SAY that at the moment that I am writing this post, we are still trending at #5 and we’ve been in the 4-7 range for at least the past, like, IDK, 18-20 hours maybe?! I LOVE THIS FANDOM AND HOW WE LOSE OUR SHIT AT THE SMALLEST THINGS

Okay, so let me go through this thing and comment on the parts, and then give some general thoughts below:

LOVE that this is a promo entirely about the LGBTQIA+ characters and characters of color. Not exactly surprised that they still tried to put as much Rob Lowe in it as possible (that’s Fox/the writers’ M.O. it seems - to squeeze Rob/Owen in whether he fits or not). Some of his comments were a little awkward, I thought (referring to Paul’s trans storyline as “stuff” makes me go 😬), but whatever. He’s not the point of all of this, so that’s the last I’m going to talk about him.

TOMMY VEGA. I AM READY TO STAN. I love Gina Torres, I already love how much heart and soul she is giving just in these quick peeks, I cannot wait to see her in action!

Also let me use this moment to say that while it’s obvious I’m not getting my Grace + Carlos friendship (that’s fine if it stays in fandom, I’ll live), I’m SO GLAD that her and Tommy are gonna be friends! One promo mentioned that Judd has known Tommy before, so it would not surprise me if they’ve been friends for awhile. LOVE THAT.

SPECULATION: This gives me a good time to just throw out a theory that I’ve been thinking about... We know Owen and Gwen are hosting Tommy at their place for a backyard dinner. I assume her husband may be there as well, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Judd and Grace are there too. 

I ALSO would not be surprised if this is when one of the nights at Carlos’s place happens, like a parallel of the two dinner parties. That at least keeps every main character involved in both locations. We shall see though.

So this gathering at the firehouse seems like it’s going to be a pretty big scene, probably for episode 1. I think everyone’s gathered so that Owen can announce he’s in remission (we’ll hear him tell TK first, which is the hug that they share earlier in the trailer, I think). 

But this gathering also includes a Tommy/Grace moment, a Tarlos moment, the others doing other things kind of moments. It’ll serve the same purpose as a lot of the season 1 bar scenes, and I’m so glad they’ve moved those to the firehouse. I want that place to really start feeling like a home this year. 

(I want all of the locations to feel a little more grounded and special, if I’m being honest. Like, I’m SO GLAD that Carlos’s place is going to be a key location this season.)

There are now two instances of Carlos being next to Gwen (standing next to her while Owen makes an announcement and now sitting next to her at the table), so we better get some dialogue between them or I WILL BE SO UPSET. I WANT GWEN TO STAN CARLOS AS MUCH AS I DO.

EVERYONE IS SO CUTE IN THIS SCENE OKAY

TARLOS TARLOS TARLOS TARLOS

Like, WTF is TK’s face in this moment?! He looks so shy and bashful but also so happy and mushy and soft and in love. And then the way that Carlos softens because of how soft TK look?!?! WHAT IS GOING ON?!?! WHY AM I CRYING.

Seriously, I have to know what they’re talking about though to make TK fucking melt like that. 

Emergency stuff blah blah blah

TARLOS KISS TARLOS KISS TARLOS KISS TARLOS KISS

IT’S SO FUCKING CASUAL AND PERFECT AND NATURAL AND LITERALLY JUST LIKE A “I came over to grab this food from you but since I’m here I might as well grab a kiss because I can’t help myself”

AND LIKE... Carlos just leans right into it?!?!?!? like it’s something that they do all the time?!?!?! WTF I LOVE THEM

Mateo watches this kiss and kind of looks like he was talking to Carlos, TK, or both of them, so I love that they’re like in the middle of conversation but still like “wait let me kiss my bf because he’s close by and so hot and I love him” SCREAMING

ALSO LET ME BE THIRSTY BUT CARLOS’S SHOULDERS AND BACK?!?!?! TK’S FUCKING ARMS?!?! I’M SO DAMN GAY

Speaking of arms: this rando bartender at the wrestling match (so Covid doesn’t last long on Lone Star, I’m assuming like 2 episodes maybe?) -- I love that they tried to put him in a tight shirt and make him look like a possible threat or something and I’m just like 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

IT’S LIKE THEY’VE NEVER SEEN CARLOS REYES BEFORE

AND THEN THE FUCKING GREEK GOD HIMSELF SAUNTERS UP WEARING A TIGHT FUCKING POLO - CHEST OUT, ARMS JACKED, HANDS IN HIS POCKETS TO DRAW ATTENTION TO HIS DICK AND I’M JUST SCREAMING AT THIS POINT

BOYFRIEND 

BOYFRIEND

BOYFRIEND

But, like, seriously, there is no comparison. Carlos is fucking Hercules over here and this no-name wannabe boyband member could be a sand-colored rock for all I care. 

YOU CANNOT COMPETE WITH CARLOS REYES, DON’T EVEN TRY IT

I do feel like these two clips (the calendar line and then Carlos’s line) are spliced together but they might not be back-to-back, and I would love to see how TK responds to the flirting before Carlos comes over

HIS FACE IS KILLING ME THOUGH WHEN CARLOS COMES UP

BLESS RONEN

I feel like I *think* I know what he’s thinking, but I also feel like I don’t. Certainly, the scene seems to end with them both smiling and happy, but I wonder if there will be a conversation about jealousy or something?! IDK BUT THEY’RE DEFINITELY GONNA TALK. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.

Someone posted how happy TK is going to be to have a boyfriend who is committed enough to him to be jealous, unlike Alex who didn’t care and cheated on him. I certainly think this could be a great moment for them to establish what this new relationship means for them, and I’m excited to see what they writers have planned.

I JUST LOVE CARLOS REYES THOUGH OKAY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

How many times is Fox gonna use that clip of him holding his gun though? We get it, he raises his gun. I’ve seen it like 7 times at this point. 

I’m not complaining, really. I’ll take his face where I can get it.

LOVING the Marjan clips

LOVING the Grace/Judd clips

LOVING the Paul clips

I LOVE ALL OF MY FAVES

CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THEM DEVELOP THIS YEAR

Hearing Rafa talk about using his voice and speaking for his community just slaughters my heart, I love this man so fucking much and I’m so happy to be discovering him at the start of his career because he is going to go on to do big things and make the world a better place with his positivity and light and love and I’m so excited to follow him on that journey I just love him okay

ALSO THE MAN LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD WHAT ARE THOSE ARMS I WANT TO DIE

THE FARMER’S MARKET SCENE

Are they shopping for food for the dinner party they’re hosting?! Maybe!

WE MEET SOME OF CARLOS’S PEOPLE

There is so much speculation surrounding who these two people could be, and I’ve heard some super interesting theories about Carlos’s backstory.

I’m gonna be basic though and stick with the fact that I think they’re his parents.

AND IF THEY ARE HIS PARENTS, THEY SEEM SO HAPPY TO MEET TK.

His dad/the man, like, shakes TK’s hand with so much gusto, a giant smile on his face

And Carlos smiles as he hugs his mom/the woman, and she’s smiling too

THEY ALL JUST SEEM SO HAPPY

I CAN’T BELIEVE WE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE AVOIDING THE HOMOPHOBIC PARENTS STORYLINE COMPLETELY

Y’ALL DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THAT TRAUMA

I mean, I don’t know for sure, we’re going to have to wait for the episode. But god, do I hope for it with every fiber of my being. I want their trauma, if they have to have it, to be separate from their sexuality. They’ve done so well with TK so far, I want the same for Carlos. Let the story be fresh, let it be different, LET US HAVE DIVERSE GAY STORYLINES.

Y’ALL THE TEAM HANGING OUT AT CARLOS’S PLACE

I CANNOT

I’LL NEVER BE OVER IT

HE’S PART OF THE CREW. HE’S PART OF THE FAMILY.

IT’S EVERYTHING THAT I COULD EVER WANT FOR HIM OKAY

I’M SO FUCKING HAPPY

THEY ARE SO HAPPY

WE ARE ALL SO HAPPY

I’M CRYING

I’M DEAD

LOL that was a lot but so was this promo.

Now, some somewhat sobering thoughts...

We all know season 1 had a real diversity and inclusion problem, we’ve seen the numbers. We also know that during the promotion for season 1, we ALSO got a diversity promo focusing on the LGBTQIA+ characters and the characters of color. I love that Fox wants to highlight the incredibly talented actors and characters that they have, but all of it means nothing if they are still tokens on the show. 

I have full faith that season 2 will be better, that some of the justified anger and frustration made it back to the writers and they internalized it and then make some real changes. However, because we did get a diversity promo last year, I have to remain a little cautious. This promo doesn’t really mean anything and if, somehow, season 2 goes the way season 1 did, it will be another instance of Fox using the characters of color to draw people in without actually giving them screentime and development. Which is a HUGE PROBLEM. So... I’m very excited and very hopeful, but also slightly wary.

Similarly, I’ve seen people say that they’re worried that, while there is so much Tarlos in this promo, this might be all the Tarlos we get this season. I don’t share the same concern, but like the diversity issue, I understand where that comes from. There was a lot of Tarlos in season 1′s promos and, as we now know, they got screentime in episodes 1-3 and then virtually nothing until episode 10. 

I kind of lost track of the filming schedule, but I think before they went on the holiday/extended hiatus, they filmed the first 5-6 episodes? Maybe? And we know that we’re getting 14 total this season, which means it’s possible that they haven’t even filmed half of them. 

I think the footage that we got in this promo is from, like, 3 or 4 episodes max. Definitely episodes 1 and 2, maybe 4, possibly 5. The crossover is episode 3 and I am still expecting to barely see Carlos in it - I just think it’s going to be very fire heavy one, especially with the members of the 118 coming in to steal screentime. He could be in one scene, maybe? Idk, I’m just not expecting a lot from that episode. 

And sure, we could get a lot of Tarlos at the beginning and then nothing for a whole string of episodes, but that also just doesn’t seem possible with the way they’ve restructured the relationship dynamics. Like, it really does seem like Carlos is going to be a part of the family this year, so I think it will be easier to include him and harder to delete him entirely. (Please let him at least appear in every single episode, I don’t want to be so fucking angry like last year.)

Also, if all of these scenes stay in the episodes, we are getting AT LEAST 4 Tarlos conversations - the firehouse, the wrestling match, the farmer’s market, the flirting by the truck - and other scenes of them being in the same space as part of a group. I’m sure there will be even more that we’re just not seeing. I’m very optimistic for this season and for the Tarlos content, and I really don’t think we’ll see the front-loaded imbalance that we saw last season. I think when they get back to filming the later episodes, there will be a good amount of Tarlos content in those, too!

I will say, though, that I am worried we’ve just seen the only kiss that they’ll share in the first 5 or so episodes. I’m just so used to network TV placing a limit on gay kisses, and Idk how much that has really changed in recent years. I truly love this kiss, and I hope there are more, but I would not be surprised if we end the season having only gotten like 2-3. (PLEASE LET ME BE WRONG.)

ONLY TWO MORE WEEKS UNTIL WE FIND OUT FOR SURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#911 lone star #ls spoilers #ls speculation #tarlos #this is like EVERYTHING that is taking up space in my brain okay #mtnofgrace #asks

[disneysooner]

Fruits Basket Hiatus - Day 21

Questions by @immaanimationnerd

Question #21: If you’re a kyoru shipper, rank your top 5 kyoru moments so far!

😻🍙😻🍙😻🍙😻🍙😻🍙😻🍙😻🍙😻🍙

I think by now it’s safe to say that everyone who follows my account knows I’m a HUGE kyoru shipper. I live, love, and will go down with this ship. There’s so many moments I could list, so it’s hard to just pick 5! I’ll try though!

5. Kyo comforting Tohru on the roof

One big reason I love this is because it was Tohru who was on the roof first. I know in the show Once Upon A Time, they make a big deal about Emma Swan and Regina Mills when they are stressed. Emma goes near the docks, which hints at Killian Jones. Regina goes to the woods, which hints at Robin Hood. In this case, Tohru goes up to the roof when she’s stressed, which makes us think of Kyo. I just think it’s a sweet little hint at the ship. Plus, it’s just such a sweet tender moment between the two!

4. Kyo apologizing to Tohru while she’s asleep.

I feel like this scene doesn’t get talked about as much as it should. Oh man, every time I hear Jerry Jewell say “I’m sorry” in the Kyo voice, I squeal like crazy! It’s just hinting at so much more that will guide the ship to its final destination, and oh man oh man! You can hear the sincerity in his voice as he says it! It’s even animated in a way that just gives me the chills!

3. Kyo making soup for Tohru when she’s sick

Ever since I first watched the 2001 anime, I loved this scene! It was very sweet to see Kyo go out of his way to help Tohru get to feeling better. The 2019 definitely stepped up in its animation technique! It’s just a sweet way to show that he isn’t all about fighting.

2. Tohru being there for Kyo in his true form

I talk so much about this scene, so I won’t babble to much about it. It’s one of my all-time favorite moments because it’s where I think the biggest turn in Kyo and Tohru’s relationship happens. I just love the dialogue throughout this whole ordeal. You can just hear the desperation in both their voices, and it makes the scene all the more meaningful.

1. Kyo’s love confession (in his head)

I mean, come on! How could it not be listed as number one?! All of Kyo’s dialogue in this episode just makes me squeal in delight and desperation because I’m so ready to have this couple officially happen in the anime! I just love hearing Kyo be all mushy and talk about Tohru in such a sweet way. It’s what I dream and wish I could have!

#my post #fruits basket hiatus #day 21 - top 5 kyoru moments so far #fruits basket #fruits basket 2001 #fruits basket 2019 #kyo sohma #tohru honda #kyoru #anime #true form arc #true form #beach arc #love confession #my otp

[korpikorppi]

MDZS donghua episode notes

Season 3: The Final Chapter

Episode 2: Frostwork

Main appearances: Wangxian, Jin Ling, Xue Yang, Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi, Ouyang Zizhen, A-Qing

Briefly popping in: Song Lan, Wen Ning, Xiao Xingchen

Main locations: Yi City

Additional locations: Outside of Yi City

Summary: "Xiao Xingchen" is revealed to be Xue Yang and Wei Wuxian fishes for information. Fierce corpse Song Lan attacks and Wen Ning appears to fight him. A-Qing leads Lan Wangji to Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen and they reunite with Wei Wuxian and Jin Ling. Wangxian cook congee for the kids to heal their corpse poisoning and A-Qing arrives to show them the real Xiao Xingchen's corpse.

More detailed short notes are below the cut, you might find them useful if you're trying to find something specific. I put in timestamps for the flashbacks, to help in the timing.

WWX's red sigil/array, red miasma

WWX carries unconscious JL across roofs; followed by "XXC"

JL wakes up, struggles, falls, is caught by WWX

Frostwork uncovered and recognised by JL, who is shushed by WWX

Sudden guqin blast somewhere outside, badass LWJ with Wangji, first glimpse A-Q, Bichen flying between buildings and breaking down a wall behind A-Q, LWJ gasp

Closed courtyard, WWX discussion with "XXC", JL ready to fight many corpses

Sudden appearance of a fierce corpse, badass WWX melee skills, WWX wakes paper dolls to fight the corpse, cool demonic cultivation and wind effects, WWX red eyes, the corpse subdued

Corpses try to break into the courtyard, WWX seals it with talismans

WWX sees skull-piercing needles, quick view of Fuxue, very short flashback to XXC and SL (at 7:30)

Fierce corpse identified as SL, mark of Frost on his chest

WWX casts a spell on seemingly unconscious "XXC", flashback (8:12-8:21)

unconscious SL and a glimpse of XY

"XXC" snaps his fingers, SL breaks free, Wen Ning to the rescue

"XXC" puts JL to sleep, identifies WWX as YLLZ, WWX identifies him as XY

Glimpse of LWJ plus 3 others flying on swords

WWX and XY talk, XY hints at a well-known friend who is good at acting, asks WWX for a favour, shows the spirit holding pouch

LWJ eavesdropping

WWX asks XY about the shattered soul and the dismembered body, XY attacks WWX, LWJ attacks XY, XY escapes followed by SL and pursued by WN

Need to cure the kids, look for glutinous rice

LSH, LJY, OYZZ, JL

Coffin home, WWX seals door with a nice talisman, LJY scared

LWJ brings rice, domestic Wangxian cook congee, LWJ goes mushy for WWX touching his fingers

WWX forcefeeds a windmilling JL, red-faced Juniors

"So spicy, but this taste feels familiar somehow!"

"Hanguang-Jun never has spicy food"

LWJ silences JL "Less talk, more rest", WWX sees ghosts

A-Q appears, the Juniors look through the door

WWX gives a lecture on building courage and making observations, backed up by LWJ

WWX lets A-Q in, LJY and JL cling to each other to their chagrin, LWJ opens a coffin, XXC's body revealed, beautiful floating paper coins

Flashback to 11 years ago (21:10-22:05):

A-Q runs into XXC and they find XY outside of Yi City

#mdzs donghua episode notes #mdzs donghua s3 ep2 #mdzs donghua #mo dao zu shi #resource #resources #mine