#my plan rn is to get drunk with his roommate
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taking care of him at a party
— ft. atsumu miya
AN: just a lil sum while i work my music event drabbles 🤍 also this was soo fun to write so pls request any other characters i should do this for !
your roommate was throwing a party in your shared house, and it was fun at first. however your social battery was running kind of low, and you felt like taking a break anyways. “hey im a little beat, but if you need anything i’ll be in my room” you tell your friend and then you make your way to your room.
you lie down on your bed, and decide to maybe take a small nap to help you feel better. but not even 15 minutes into your nap you hear a soft knock on your door. “come in” you groan, as you readjust yourself so that you can sit up and see whoever’s at your door, expecting your roommate needing assistance with something for the party. but to your surprise, your greeting by three familiar faces, one being a very drunk atsumu miya.
being practically held him by his twin brother and good friend suna, the former embarrassingly says “y/n im so sorry for barging in, but is it ok if we let atsumu take a break here? every other room was occupied and your roommate told us to try here” atsumu was smashed, you could tell that he was shitfaced and it was more like osamu & suna who needed the break.
“what? ok sure yeah whatever. just lay him down over there i guess.” too tired to really even refute their request, you instruct the two to carry their drunken friend on the side of your bed opposite of you. this is where you decide it’s probably time for you to turn in for the night.
you leave atsumu to rest on your bed, and head into your bathroom to change, shower, and what not to get ready for bed. by the time you’re done you chuckle to yourself when you see atsumu is still knocked out on your bed. admittedly, you found it kind of cute to see him like this. peacefully asleep, in his natural state, a change of pace from his usual loud and brash personality, it didn’t help that he was in your bed as well. after placing a glass of water and some tylenol and advil on the nightstand next to him, you sit on your side of your bed and start mindlessly scrolling on your phone.
you text your roommate, updating them on the wild situation you found yourself in. “y/n are u fr rn? this is like the perfect chance for u to confess to him hello??” a smile forms on your face after reading that text, “bro what hell no. that’s so awkward 😭” “ur trippin, worst case scenario u can tell him u we’re js drunk” rolling your eyes at that suggestion, you exit your texts and go back to your scrolling.
a few minutes go by and you feel atsumu shifting in your bed, followed by a slight groan. “oh god where am i” he groans as he rolls over, rubbing his eyes, to face this mysterious figure sat beside him.
“well you’re not downstairs getting shitfaced that’s for sure” you snark with a small chuckle, slightly admiring how cute he looks with his messy hair and flushed face. “oh shit! y/n! is this your room? oh my god did we..?” amused by his slight panic you reassured him that nothing happened, “no no don’t worry, you were absolutely plastered so suna and your brother dropped you off here so you could rest. there’s some tylenol next to you, you should really take some”
she’s such an angel wow, he thought to himself as he took the pain relievers you so kindly prepared for him. “god those assholes, sorry you had to deal with that” he quietly, almost embarrassingly apologizes. giggling at his annoyance you assure him it’s fine and that it’s not a big deal. but then the gears start turning in your head a bit, as you start to develop a lil plan to semi-confess to him.
“the party isn’t probably gonna end for another few hours, so if you want you can just crash here if you want. i can just sleep on the couch or something” almost immediately, a grin plasters on atsumus face, and his usually cocky self is back just like that. “i mean that’s rather rude ya know? i wouldn’t want such an angel who had to take care of a drunken asshole to sleep on the couch. you should probably just sleep in your own bed” he grins as he runs his hands through his messy blonde hair, this bitch knows exactly what he’s doing, you think to yourself.
despite a very obvious blush creeping up on your face you respond, “yeah well i’d feel bad if you had to stay on the couch” scoffing, faking offense to your comment “who said anything about me on the couch? plus i heard cuddling is good for hangovers.” OH HOW I HATE HIM. rolling your eyes you playfully act annoyed, but you couldn’t be any happier
“hm well i always wanted to cuddle with that dumbass from the volleyball team who i have a crush on” you retort with a light laugh. now it’s his turn to blush, already flushed from the alcohol he is now redder than before. “when exactly were you planning on tellling this handsome and talented dumbass?” despite the confident demeanor he was definitely screaming on the inside.
“i figured now would be a good time, but who said anything about handsome and talented.” you reply as you side eye him, but he just can’t help but smile right at you. “so we’re definitely cuddling right?” he asks with a heartful, genuine smile. not being able to deny this lover boy’s smile or even him in general, i mean you’ve liked him for months now, you roll your eyes and respond “ok fine i guess whatever, but find some clothes to change into and take a shower” you laugh as you playfully hit him on his shoulder.
“on it.” he gets up heading downstairs to see if any of his friends have extra clothes they can get him, and to of course tell them about his crush on you. “shit finally, it’s about time you told her you liked her, osamu you owe me $10 and some food” “ok fine suna whatever, but you owe me $5 since he did it while he was drunk.” yes these mfs placed bets on you guys confessing to each other.
reblogs appreciated and admired ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა
#game time!#haikyuu x you#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu headcanons#hq headcanons#hq imagines#hq x you#hq x reader#hq fluff#miya atsumu#atsumu miya#atsumu miya headcanons#atsumu miya x reader#atsumu miya fluff#atsumu miya x you#atsumu headcanons#atsumu x reader#atsumu x you#atsumu fluff
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idk if anyone even enjoys my work enough for this sorta ...update? lol but just in case..
im writing something completely new right now T-T im gonna finish with Totally Not Endgame probably by the end of this month..heh.. (so much world building and character development its a big project) and ill update get over him! a week from now!! (i think. hopefully)
but anyways, it was in the spur of the moment and i got super super inspired and made a roommate!au oneshot for yeonjun. yes, yes im writing for another member that is not beomgyu lmao. i was abt to make it a beomgyu oneshot since i thought the personality fit him but then...idk cute whipped yeonjun is something i've been looking for on here FOR SO LONG. so i was like, why not make one myself! so i made it. and i got carried away with it.. but whatever, i think its genuinely my best work so far T-T (out of all my drafts)
heres the synopsis if anyone sees this and is curious ^^
choosing to live with a complete stranger was...not the smartest thing you've chosen to do. but it's okay! it can't be too bad. well, except it is. it is bad. especially when you're kept awake with music blaring through the walls of your room. just what's up with your roommate?! (this can be changed later on)
genre: fluff, crack, enemies to lovers (kinda)
word count: IDK BCS IM NOT DONE YET T-T w my layout in mind, i think this will probably be really...really long.
if anyone wants to be in the taglist (though im not planning on making one lol but just in case <3), sending an ask would be great </3 but anywho this is just an update to show that im working on something hehe
edit: ok. what if i include smut. and a fwb relationship. im contemplating rn. bcs like this is the idea i have rn, when they get over the enemies arc (which wont be that important honestly) and become friends, they get like super close, super intimate bcs both oc and yeonjun like skinship then boom, one day, they're both super drunk and !! yeah. then they have this whole thing abt whether or not it matters, and they both decide nope it doesnt. but but but, it happens again, and its like the inevitable atp. so they decide on having sex casually cuz they realize they both enjoy it, sowhat!! and yk how those go, someones gonna catch feelings eventually but im thinking i wanna make them as oblivious as possible and also include one jealousy driven sex where yj just lets out his feelings ??? idk.
the issue is, im not the best smut writer LMAO and its hard for me to convey sexual tension UGHHH IDK ANYMORE THIS IS BASICALLY JUST A RANT
honestly, id prefer to make it just fluff and some angst ig because its comfortable and easy for me. but then theres this thing with long fluff fics getting barely any traction so im kinda demotivated in that aepsct of it all T-T and i do know theres some kinda demand for long smut fics with plot, so in terms of growing this blog thatd probably be the best option.. idk if someone can give me their preference and ill just base it all on that lmao
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same anon again! and totally cool with the last request :) So I popped up with a new one. Same thing daphne x reader using 15 and/or 47 from the prompt list! (preferably daphne asking out reader but anything’s cool) :))
A/N: Hi lovely anon... You're the sweetest <3 I really think you might be my official fav person rn :D And yes, yes, I'm super happy to see you again in my inbox and... oh boy, I love Daphne x Reader so much. Here you go with with the requests you asked for :)
Warnings: Might add but I consider both of those works as children-friendly lol (maybe some alcohol but that's pretty much it)...
15: “Just tell her that.” / “Such a pep talk…”
"Pansy?"
You burst into the Slytherin common room with as much energy as your legs could carry you with at the late hour as it was. Exactly, 1 am, if to be radically precise. But getting acquainted with Pansy's strange late-night habits for over seven years, you knew you could find her sprawling over the large lounge, still awake, with the Firewhisky drink in her hand per usual.
As presumed, you were right -- she was sitting, still fully dressed in her school robes and staring aloof at the fireplace, drifting more in her perplexing thoughts than she would want to. Hearing your sleepy voice, however, made her tilt her head and glance at you, standing in your emerald-green pajamas, at the entrance of the stairs to the girls' room.
She smirked. "Insomnia playing over?" she asked, teasingly, her sparkling eyes locking with your fluttery ones.
"No," you answered carefully before covering your mouth from a yawn to which Pansy's smirk widened. You flopped tiredly on the sofa, next to her and laid your head instinctively on her shoulder. "There's something I wanted to talk with you about."
"That's why you got out of bed? To talk to me about something you could do as well in the morning but without bothering your pretty face?" she asked, and though you couldn't see her face, you imagined she was frowning in incomprehension.
"Well..." you drawled, already partly regretting you had decided to come over with such a sensitive issue to her. "It's the only time Daphne is not around."
"Oh...Is that--" Pansy gasped in enthusiasm, throwing your head off of her to which you reacted with a small moan of pain, to look directly into your face. "Are you going to finally admit you're so madly in love with her and that you drool at her every time she doesn't look?"
Well, that was straightforward...
"W-what?" you sputtered out, trying to make sense of what you wanted to express. But dealing suddenly with too much confusion and surprise, you found it to be a challenging task to perform. "How would you know? I've never told anyone!"
At the raised, almost frantic tone of your voice, Pansy grinned, probably satisfied with the fact she dared to shock you. "You are the worst player in this puppy-love game if you haven't noticed yet," she said, arching her eyebrows. "It's almost hard to miss you staring at her in the classrooms or... I don't know... even when you talk to her, smiling like mad. Only concerns are for Daphne, who seems to be totally oblivious to that."
"You think? I mean, hasn't she noticed? Did she s--"
"No," Pansy interrupted you intentionally, rolling her eyes. "I think she has other doubts than that. Besides... it's also she who attempts to hide her goo-goo eyes from you."
You frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Ughh... She has a crush on you too! Happy?"
"No, she does no--"
"Of course she does, you unheeding dolt! One time, I even caught her scribbling your name in her notebook with small hearts around. What do you think it means?"
"I--" Momentarily speechless, you dropped your gaze to the hands and unconsciously started playing with your fingers. "I don't know what to say..."
"Just tell her that." Pansy shrugged, finding the simplest solution in everything while eloquently sipping her drink. "It's a normal thing to do. Go over to her during lunchtime and talk to her. Confess."
You huffed, suddenly feeling a stream of sarcasm dancing on your tongue. "Oh, really? Such a pep talk, you know... Thanks, Pans."
She nudged you with her elbow. "C'mon. You've wasted plenty of time daydreaming about her. It's a moment to take up action. Tomorrow, it's your round, or otherwise, it might pass."
Sighing, you peeked at her with seriousness. "I don't know about that."
"Then you'll never know," she commented aptly, and you knew she made her point. "I realize it might be confusing. But hey, no matter what happens, I'll be always there for you. Remember?"
"Remember," you repeated, somehow feeling more confident than you had been ten minutes ago.
XOXOXO
47. “Are you asking if I’m a single?” / “Okay… I-I will.”
The party night was... disastrous, to say at least.
And you really didn't want to be here. But all thanks to your best friend, Susan, who was definitely a go-go type of a person and had been insistently persuading you to get out with her ("This'd be so fun, Y/N!" said she with already a little too drunk tone), by now you were being pushed in the crowd of inebriated people, soaking in sweat due to the heated breaths that were puffing and blowing at your neck from all around. Making your best attempts to push your way, conflict-less, to some less teeming space, you met with a failure by being shoved to your previous position by someone's hips from behind and a loud 'Watch it!'.
Frustration and exasperation accumulated in you, and you felt truly flustered with a situation. As it turned out, flustered enough to provoke the combative self you hadn't known existed in you, to start jostling everyone around to move away from your path to freedom. It required a few angry 'ouches' and curses sent towards you, but finally...Finally, you succeeded in getting away from the bustle and a disgusting odor of sweat that hurt your nostrils just too much.
"Double Scotch, please," you said breathlessly to the bartender as you had reached the bar and casually leaned over the counter. "Triple if needed. Make it extra strong."
The bartender nodded merely, giving you a perfunctory smile, before taking care of your order by grasping some liquor from the shelf and pouring it professionally into the glass. Too distracted with exhaustion from too loud music and screeches from the crowd singing along the songs' lyrics, you hadn't even noticed a blonde girl with a glint of explicit interest in her eyes staring at you. Well, not until...
"Is it a way of dealing with the party?" the girl asked, smiling. "Or are you trying to forget you're here?"
"Both, I guess." You laughed, turning your head to behold a nice-looking gal who was casually sipping her Mohito drink. A really nice-looking, actually. Her hair was laid in the smooth curls on her broad shoulder, emphasizing her soft facial features and shiny, blue eyes. Dressed in the tight gleaming-black dress with the heals lengthening her legs, she looked more than appealing. "I was forced by a friend to come. Not my intention."
"Tell me about it," muttering under her breath, she playfully rolled her eyes and smirked suggestively. Then with an outstretched hand, she proffered you an inviting smile and introduced herself, "I'm Daphne."
You took a hand invitation, shaking in lightly and reciprocating a smile. "Y/N."
"So, you came here with a friend?" the girl, now as you knew Daphne, asked you with an arousing curiosity. "Or girlfriend, or boyfriend?"
Alcohol being the best solution for straightforwardness as it was, forced you to express your first-moment thought without any earlier contemplation. "Are you asking if I'm single?" You took a gulp of your drink and squinted suddenly at the realization of your words. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that! It's just--"
"It's okay, I'm aware of the after-alcohol effects," Daphne soothed you down and tried her best to hide her pre-momentary shock from her face, though you could still detect it.
You fucking idiot!
"Yeah, I've come here with my roommate. She loves parties and said it would be a crime to miss one, especially on Friday night," you answered her question, attempting to get slickly out of your faux pas.
Smiling, forgetting about your little confusion, and ignoring the noise from the background, you chatted, relishing each other's company and treating it as a make-up for ruined Friday plans, fault laying on both of your friends' sides. How much time had passed while you were sitting there, taking the next rounds from the bartender and goggling at each other you didn't know, but one thing was sure -- you both definitely enjoyed it.
The things came, however, to the end as soon as Susan, plastered as you had never seen her before, approached you in a stumbling manner. She was giggling like mad, which clearly indicated one thing -- it's about time to export her back to the house.
"What the heck?! It's not a funeral, peach. Come dance with me!" she screamed as if she was on the opposite side of the room, putting her arms around your shoulder and dangling on you to keep her balance. "Cooooommmmee..."
"No," you shot back, also drunk but much less than her, which made you take responsibility in your hands. Instead of looking at Susan, however, you glanced at Daphne apologetically. "We're calling a cab."
"But, I--"
"Shut it," you said, a little angry with her intoxicated state but yourself having a bit of a problem creating a coherent sentence. "The party is over. We're- are go-ing home."
Susan made a small groan but said nothing, to which you were very thankful because you wanted to end the conversation with Daphne. The sudden influx of bravery had overtaken, and you asked her to hand over her phone. So she compliantly did, and you tapped your phone number on the screen, saving it on the contacts list before handing it back to the proper owner.
"I'm sorry it turned out that way. In these circumstances," you apologized to Daphne, the weight on your arm becoming gradually heavier as your friend wriggled in her place, still grasping your shoulder like to necessary sanity. "It was nice meeting you."
Daphne smiled at that. "You too. Good luck with..." She didn't finish her sentence, but you concluded she was referring to the little situation with drunken Susan.
"Thanks. Oh, and..." You suddenly changed the timbre of your voice to a little deeper one, almost exigent actually. "...don't forget to call me."
A coy smile spread on Daphne's lips, and she said, more in the murmur than a normal tone, "Okay...I-I will..."
And then, you were strolling away, satisfied with how your Friday turned out, much less lame than you had initially assumed.
Maybe the party wasn't such a bad idea after all.
XOXOXOXO
A/N: I enjoyed writing those actually. These had to be drabbles but somehow turned out to be full-length one-shots. But no fault of mine; these were just my hands doing most of the job! I'm taking a break to spend some quality time with my friends (yes, it's me bragging I have a private life lol), and I'm sitting at my computer to write the next goodie :) See ya in some time!
Btw, as I've counted (via my computer) it's almost 2k words. What's wrong?!
#Daphne greengrass x reader#draco malfoy x reader#Drabble night#prompt list#asks#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter characters#slytherin#pansy parkinson x reader#Daphne greengrass#pansy parkinson#Daphne greengrass x pansy parkinson#draco x reader#requests#send them over#!!#lol
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IBRAHIM JARVIS —
IG info/bio: @/OFFICIALRAHIMJARVIS | 130k followers | pro🏌🏿, & yes i was on that dating show...don’t obsess over other people, obsess over water, stay hydrated friends!
22 (23) years old
From Birmingham, England
Pisces sun? + Virgo moon + Cancer rising
Parents are both Afro-Antiguan and Barbudans + migrated to The UK once they were pregnant with their first child
They’ve been married for over 20 years
He gets his height from both of his parents
His mother keeps her hair buzzed short, cooks the best Antiguan food + loves creole seasoning, she’s 5’11, & works as a bank teller
His father is 6’5, works as a substance a*use counselor & does not believe in tough love as a way of showing you care about your children. He learned that the hard way growing up
Ibrahim is a pro golfer & dislikes tiger woods, “he’s a proper arsehole, typical American yeah?”
Got into the craft thanks to his maternal grandfather who was also into golf along with other sports & taught him all he needed to know. At first Ibrahim didn’t like it, found it rather boring & would rather stick to video gaming but his grandfather wanted to break his grandchildren out of staying in the house all the time
It kept him fit and also relieved any anxiety Ibrahim had in life and he had a good amount
He’s got an incredible swing, thanks to his long arms
He’s 6’3
Has three older brothers: Jesse (27) , Keithroy (25), and Reuben (24)
He loves working out and spotting other people, feels likes it’s a team effort & he’s a team player
Drinks gallons of water on a daily and nothing else, it’s even better if he puts fruit in it
Always eating fruit, for breakfast/with or after his dinner. Rather eat fruits than vegetables...yes he’s an adult but he can’t stand broccoli or radishes
Canon: hates seeing other people test their fruit to see if it’s ripe or not. But it’s fine when he does it himself, he just thinks about all the germs that are on other peoples hands when they’re doing so; it physically makes him sick & irritated if he ends up touching the fruit that’s mushy/lumpy
He’s a big fan of comics. Always has been since he’s a kid and has a huge collection of them, his oldest ones are packed away in a couple of crates (in his loft room that he uses as a extra storage room) since he no longer has space in his room. Yes he has no shame (and shouldn’t) of having them on display even tho his oldest brothers clown him for it
Massive fan of black panther & was hyped when it first came to theaters. Saw it three times in one day
Was heartbroken when Chadwick Boseman p*ssed
He’s awkward at expressing himself & sometimes it makes him feel misunderstood & it’s frustrating
Hates people that come up with these ideas of him instead of allowing him to collect his thoughts and speak them the right way
Yet he can be the type of person that wants to ignore issues and hope they go away
He wishes people had enough patience like he did with others in the world
He seeks advice from his dad, since he’s a counselor & everything yet it’s slightly different?
Can be a sweetie & very romantic in relationships
Will do the most (he won’t see it that way) & drop $ on you if he wants to...buying things, trying & failing to DIY, doing wealthy ppl shit, expensive trips— canon: taking his girl to Spain? Was it? Or Italy? I don’t remember... the whole 9
Had 1 gf before the villa. He broke up with her for being too flashy with his things & found that she wouldn’t have liked him if he didn’t have a bit of money
His parents live with him. “They’re basically my roommates until or if they find a house they like.” He didn’t go overboard once he got his first paycheck, he didn’t need a mansion but he did go big enough, industrial style but homey with some minor modern touches for his dream home—he didn’t want it to feel cold or penthouse-like
Isn’t too flashy on the socials but will post something every now & then if he feels the need to show it
Doesn’t post much of his face, mostly what he’s doing in the moment...lots of golfing pics!
Dresses like a dad but it works for him. Loves a good snug polo & plaid trousers/regular that are cut above the ankle, “those are highwaters innit?!” “No mum, it’s the style.” Rolled up jeans, tall white socks & some patterned, baggy sweaters, fancy hats, picks oxfords over sneakers, etc...
Definitely takes the time to iron/steam/press his underwear & socks
Enjoys getting his hair braided, isn’t tender-headed at all (must be nice)
Only grows his hair out during the fall/winter seasons or cuts/gets a shape up
When he posts about his tournaments or time at the golf course, he can always count on Bobby to comment the usual... @/returnofdamckenzie: do you ever have moments where you Reenact troy bolton on the lovely green grass? @/officialrahimjarvis: Idk whether to block u or have a laugh mate, yes i had to look him up!
Dated Jo for about 5 months after the villa until she broke up with him, finding that their lifestyles were too hectic for them to continue, at least that was her public statement to the fans but they really grew apart & the “love” was no longer there
Ibrahim seemed to be more upset about it than Jo in the beginning resulting in snappy replies for awhile, which again stems from him not knowing how to express himself
She checked up on him A LOT, almost as if they never broke up but Ibrahim felt like he needed his space now. They talked it out the best they could over dinner and got closure but that didn’t mean it didn’t sting. He just didn’t think it was needed to be calling each other everyday to see how they were both holding up. If they were done, then that’s what they should be
Jo didn’t see it that way. She still cared for Ibrahim, that didn’t mean that they had to stop talking in her view. She wanted to know how he was coping, and was known for “sticking her foot in her mouth” so that was also a flaw in their relationship
She would say certain things that touched on how she was feeling but didn’t express them at the right times & then there was Ibrahim who didn’t know HOW to say the things he felt which left jo to assume things
Ibrahim was back to the single life and he hated it. He wanted someone he could come back home to, someone that wanted to be with him for the long run. A part of him feels like Jo wasn’t planning to be with him for the long run in the first place and in a way that was okay? Sometimes you don’t know where you’re going in relationships but there should be some sort of goal? Maybe? At least that’s what he thought. Yeah they had fun but he wanted more someday
He was still young he didn’t need to be hung up about it right? Sike. He didn’t know how to take things lightly. That wasn’t how he was built. And to get comments about his ex relationship and have fans dragging him about his choices in the villa A YEAR later!!! Was disheartening
Shannon seemed to be doing well. He thought they would still be friends, at least that’s what she showed before she left the villa. Before he got her dumped. They talked a couple of times since then, jo personally wasn’t a fan of that—Shannon didn’t care but it was clear there was some tension still there
Until he contacted her just to realize she probably had his number blocked but her IG was public and she had a new man & was traveling about
His dad and Reuben were the only ones rooting for them
He had no choice but to be happy for her. Who was he to come in between that? Not that he wanted to but it’s a natural reaction to wonder after a fresh breakup, “what if?”
Talks to Priya every so often now. He seems to find comfort in her, it’s the same for her on her end
His mother has a feeling Priya is the one her son will end up with. Even if she is older...Keithroy also liked her the best
While Jesse seemed to be the only one who supported his relationship with jo
I honestly thought he would have liked Hannah in the beginning but idk if it was him or Gary that said she was too unrealistic when it came to love? I think they both said something along those lines which is odd since it seems Ibrahim has no problem treating his girl like a princess
Probably only has one special dish that he can cook the best & it’s gumbo. otherwise hes out of the kitchen or having his personal chef cook for the family
Goes live on twitch—when he has time, playing many games with the boys from the villa, which pleases the fans
Talks to them all as much as he can
Noah seems to be the first to always text back since Bobby is the one who’ll start off responding in minutes then forget to text back cause he’s off doing handstands or booping people on the nose or some shit, Gary always ends up busy doing something with his nan or for Lottie—but Noah’s always around
They seem to be the closest outside the villa, they mesh well & hang out the most when they can
he likes having his sound on & LOUD when he texts! There’s something so satisfying about hearing the clicking of texting to him
Watches a lot of sports on the Telly, it doesn’t have to be just golf. Usually watching that sport sends him right to sleep while the others keep him active/vocal...yes he’s a tv yeller
Holds sports parties at his home & invites all of his family & mates, he HATES having to clean up afterwards. If it wasn’t for his mum he would save the cleaning until the next day yet he doesn’t mind cleaning his car twice a week
Continues to make his violet man drink & wouldn’t be opposed to someone giving him a endorsement deal for it
Is the “I love everybody!” Drunk
Enjoys yard work over cleaning the house
Has his own customized golf cart that he keeps in his garage
He likes driving that more than his Buick suv tbh
Wants kids some day, not too many, not too little just right— he’ll probably have two but for rn his Doberman pinscher is his bby
Either ends up with Priya with slight insecurities that she’s too good for him or he falls in love with a tennis player, either way I’m fine with both
Crushes/his type? : Jojo Levesque, SERENA WILLIAMS, China McClain, Brie Larson, Victoria Pedretti, Nathalie Emmanuel, & Keke Palmer
Listens to: Aminé, Big Sean, Frank Ocean, Brent Faiyaz, Pink $weats, B Young, Ali Gatie, Russ, Raveena, Jessie Reyez, Rayana Jay, Cosima, TianaMajor9 etc...
Anthem = Lucky Daye, “Buying Time”
#litg#litg2#litg s2#litg ibrahim#litg jo#litg shannon#litg priya#litg au#litg headcanon#litg headcanons#litg Bobby#litg noah#litg rahim
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So here's the run-down on the past like 4 months of my life lol
at the start of May, one of my cute regulars at work started flirting with me so i gave him my number. we went on a date and i'm not gonna say i was already in love after it but i was definitely falling hard and fast for him. he moved in with me after 2 weeks.
end of May i started really struggling with money because i am a fucking idiot and being in love for the first time makes you go Crazy apparently lol
start of June, turned 19, got a pinup tattoo of the Hex girls started on my leg
end of June got promoted to shift lead at work. some strain started on me and Babe's relationship because he drinks too much (he has since realized i was right and is trying to do better)
start of July, Babe got into a fender bender because he's blind on his right side (everyone was fine, his headlight was just crushed). (TW) i noticed i'd gained some weight, so my ED started acting up again
end of July, me and Babe were having a lot of issues, unbeknownst to me, because he does this thing where he doesn't talk about his feelings no matter how much i ask him to (he's getting better about it)
first week of August, Babe moved out, and he lied to me about why. After a week of him effectively ghosting me, he cancelled on our plans to celebrate our 3 months, and i went a bit nuts.
second week of August i pretty much force him to break up with me (told him he NEEDED to give me an answer as to whether he wanted to stay together or break up, and i said that i'd rather break up for now and get back together later on than stay together for now and break up later on). he did break up with me.
third week in August, i pick up a FWB because fuck it i was single now. halfway through the week i find out from Babe's sister that he's seeing a girl. i was absolutely fucking crushed that he was able to move on emotionally that quickly.
last week in August, Babe and I start to be kind of friends again. i find out that while he's not unhappy in his relationship, he was certainly not happy either. he seemed to be the only one that was unaware of that fact (or he just wouldn't acknowledge it, who knows).
(BIG TW) while i was at FWB's house, a couple days ago, Babe calls me, sobbing, and says he's gonna khs. Obviously i fucking panic and beg him to tell me where he is. It takes 20 minutes for him to tell me he's at a specific church that's supposed to be a 40 minute drive from where i was, and I made the drive in 25 minutes. First thing that he does when i get there and jump out of my car to open his driver side door is he kisses me (while still sobbing). He's burying his head in my chest and saying sorry for a million different things while i just tell him "everything's okay baby, i got you, everything will be alright" for a solid 5 minutes. We get past that and I spend about an hour talking him down, and by the end of it we're both just so relived and everything feels okay again. He was pretty drunk so i hung around for like 4 more hours until he started to sober up. He promises me he's going to break up with the girl because of many reasons he listed (that have nothing to do with getting back with me, altho he did say that she was absolutely a rebound for him). I kiss him a few times (i still feel guilty for it tbh bc they hadn't broken up yet). When he's finally okay enough to drive, I follow him home to make sure he gets there safe. I get home half an hour later (at like 6am) and text his sister what happened. Last night when i was at work, his roommate (one of his best friends, who does Not like me) showed up at my job and thanked me for what I did. I wanted to say he shouldn't be thanking me for doing what any normal person with empathy would want to do, but i didn't cuz i just didn't know how to say it right. He tells me that Babe's brother-in-law and him are going to have a talk with Babe that night about what happened, and he jokingly said he was gonna beat the shit out of him. We've all been keeping a really close eye on him the past couple days and we're continuing to do so, but it seems like he's not in that bad of a place anymore
Tonight, Babe told me he does want to get back together but he (understandably) needs some time to himself first. We got up to some shenanigans in his car tonight tho because the girl really wasn't doing it for him, and he finally broke up with her, lol.
(TW bugs) also i have bed bugs rn and im mildly allergic to them so even though i'm sleeping completely away from them and i've also fogged out my room like 6 times, the bites that i have are bad enough i need to take 2 benadryl every night and every morning just to be functional so that's FUN
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My Kacchako reading list
My personal shortlist of the most unforgettable Kacchako fics I’ve read and currently reading, as well as planning to read! These are just those I can name at the top of my head so I probably might have missed some and will add later on once I remember. Most are rated M/E (because I am a sucker for Kacchako smut bahaAHHAA)
HAVE READ / ONESHOT / COMPLETE
A Little Bit Closer by mignonettes (a Ground Zero...dildo?!)
A Softer World Prompt 46 by i-masshiro (kchk as exes. They never really got over each other)
A Sweet Surprise by ohmytheon (Ochako bakes Bakugou a birthday cake)
Again by corinnemaree (After Bakugo gives Ocha her first kiss, she just cant get enough)
All Work and No Play by mignonettes (one of the hottest kchk smuts imo)
Angel and Demon by EmeraldWaves (Ochako is a tease)
Apricity by i-masshiro (Christmas kchk; honesty hour for our babies, very cute)
As If to Say by calamansifresh (can’t get enough of a straightforward Bakugo. fluff!)
As We Minimize the Space by calamansifresh (Ochako’s obsession: touching Bakugo. hot smut)
Quiet by IchigoKacchan (twitter thread turned Ao3, HOT)
Bakudonis by Ichigo_Kacchan (1-A drooling over shirtless Bakugo)
Benign Masochism by windigop (Stripper Bkg. That’s it. I’m sold)
Best Birthday Ever by crystymre (A twitter thread full of fluff and everything nice uwu)
Biting the Bullet by MockingbirdSoul (one of the BEST kchk sexual tension fics EVAR)
Conflict Resolution by Colorslander (Bakugo is bad at feelings, yes)
Delivery Incoming by mignonettes (drunk Bakugo loves his girlfriend so much. VERY CUTE)
Drinks series by BlueTee (ahh!! drunk kchk!! isso!! cute!!! AHH)
Fight Night by ohmytheon (Ochako: *breaks Bakugo’s nose* Bakugo: im so turned on rn)
First Date Etiquette by Methoxyethane (smut and humor are /chefs kiss/)
Fleeting Emotions by EmeraldWaves (series of oneshots! includes tdmm and kmjr! fave is #4)
Fragile by Virtually Forgotten (another series of oneshots! fluff/angst/smut i’m in love)
Fuck or Die: Bakugo birthday edition by Italian_Lily (lust quirk and coming 7 times omg)
Fuck or Die by mignonettes (twitter thread; ochako hit by a quirk that makes ya horny)
Gentle Hands by corinnemaree (it takes a while for Bakugo to process that Ocha kissed him)
Girl of His Dreams by NamiSwaannn (Bakugo has very /vivid/ dreams abt Ochako)
good together by tusslee (kchk sext this is so hot asjdkhaf)
Hero Analysis and Application by SakuraDrops93 (slow-burn kchk wholesome content, except for chapter 28, ish)
Hot Lavender Latte by calamansifresh (coffee shop AU! cute and wholesome and fluffy)
How’s The Weather by crystymre (how the ending is written is the BEST)
I Don’t Care by SakuraDrops93 (MY. MOST. FAVORITE. NON-SMUT kchk oneshot)
I Don’t Compete by crystymre (kchk pro-hero AU. hot and sweet and cute)
If Heartbreak by i-masshiro (if you don’t want to have your heart broken, DONT READ THIS. </3)
Irresistible by ElanaDrex (lust quirk again, but dayum this hot)
Kill, Fuck, Marry by stillfly94 (twitter thread; we love an angry dork Bakugo)
Late Night Sweets by jarynw02 (so cute omg! Bakugo soft only for Chako)
Misfit Love by Ichigo_Kacchan (Bakugo bought a new desk and Ochako didnt like it. yet)
Morning Dew by calamansifresh (we need kchk morning sex in our lives)
No One Else by thesweetestnerd (again, Ochako being a hot tease)
Not Afraid by omytheon (Spin the bottle. Bakugo to kiss Ochako, then it gets complicated)
once bitten by wonduhhwoman/still.fly (vampire ochako oneshot. help, this is too hot.)
one juicy peach by still.fly (the first kcck i’ve read. it’s hot and beautiful ;_; sweet bakugo)
Partition by Ichigo_Kacchan (based on Beyonce’s Partition, Kacchako multitasks in limo)
[Prompt]Sweet Surprise Vday KCCK by italian_lily (Bakugo helps Ochako make cake)
Protect and Kill by ohmytheon (AU, Ocha is FBI agent and Baku is assassin)
quality time by still.fly (kcck as roommates. fluff!)
Quarantine Thread by Megadoodle (soooo cute!!!)
Quiet Time by ohmytheon (Deku overhears kcck on the top bunk doing...things)
say it and i’m yours by yaomomochi (aquarium date!!!)
Sparks by ohmytheon (secret relationship + blind date)
Stress Relief by Italian_lily (exactly how I would picture a kchk sparring smut scene tbh)
Suds ‘n’ Sweat by mignonettes (kcck in laundry and ya know what happens)
Summer Hoodies by mythica magic (Ochako in Bakugo’s sweater hrrrmm)
Take a Break by ohmytheon (pro-hero Kchk doing it in the workplace to relieve stress)
The Dark Web by ohmytheon (another hot kchk sexual tension comin’ right up!!!)
The feeling that isn’t entirely unpleasant by mysterious intentions (fluffy HS kchk!)
The Final Countdown by ohmytheon (New Year’s countdown, first kiss, pure kchk fluff <3)
The Five Times It’s Fake and the One Time It Isn’t by mignonettes (fake dating AU!)
thought that i was dreaming by lianhuawu (kchk post AFO-fight. sweet huhu)
Un Pour Tous by mignonettes (coffee shop AU, fluff!)
VIP Pass by HikoCassidy (oooh a drummer Bakugo)
warm light on a winter’s day by wonduhhwoman (soulmates kchk, stuck in cabin for winter)
Worthy by Tharros (drunk Ochako again + sweet “friend” Bakugo)
Yes or No is Not a Trick Question by silv3rbloodalch3mist (ANOTHER. FAVORITE. Honest Bakugo is hot)
Yours, If You Wanted by calamansifresh (bakugo and his hidden crush mehehe)
CURRENTLY READING / ONGOING
Aquating Training Session by BeMore (happens before camping arc; w/ tdmm!)
Boyfriend-Girlfriend Things by silv3rbloodalch3mist (ahh another one from a fave author!)
Little Do You Know by fullondisclosure (soulmates with a twist!)
Make it wit chu by Ichigo_Kacchan (a One night stand/FwB Kacchako)
Mr. Brightside by SakuraDrops93 (MY. MOST. FAVORITE! RECENTLY UPDATED AHH)
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell by Ms_Chunks (very long but very good asdhajf kchk quirk dynamic)
floaty ‘splodey fic series by ishkabibble_bafflegab (every fic in this series is /hearteyes/)
Hot Cocoa & Chill by FrenchK (uwu i’m soft)
Seeing Double by knifekirby (Fantasy AU! I’m in love with this!)
The Reaper by thevoidyouknow (kchk roommates, virgin ocha and horny bakugo)
(Touch Me) Kill Each Other Slowly by corinnemaree (vampire!bkg)
there is something wrong with uravity by onlyfm (again with the horny quirk. yes)
We Can Never Be Friends by crystymre (reading this on twitter it’s so fun and hot omg)
why don’t you say so by frazzledazzle (all dialogue; all interesting drabbles! love this!)
You Lost by NanaHachikoSan (this is just hot dirty hahaha)
TO READ
A Different Perspective by house_of_pixels
actuality by still.fly
Among a Crowd of Faces by miraimisu
Bakugou Katsuki is Going to Become A Friendly Guy Even if it Kills Him by pisces-royalty
Blanket Pals by miraimisu
Clocks and Blades by Pomoon
Closer by Ichigo_Kacchan
downplay it by seconddaysea
Fall by crystymre
Finding Our Normal by theGingerTrekie
Floating Embers by megwritesfanfiction
Grounded by ElenaDrex
He Who Always Left First by miraimisu
Hot-headed by MoofyKitten
In Hindsight by infantblue
It’s Just Training by LaMuerta
It’s Our Secret, Angel Face by thesweetestnerd
Kacchako Week 2019 entries by BlueTee
Lie for Me by lovecassia
Limerence by KarmaHope
Make Me Forget by Chio Saki
Midnight Terrain by stillfly94
No One Knows by Ichigo_Kacchan
Noblesse Oblige by EmeraldWaves & Superevey
On the Rainbow Road by ohmytheon
One Day at a Time by jarynw02
Out of the Town by jarynw02
Popcorn for Breakfast by Ichigo_Kacchan
[Prompt]Glimpse into the Future by italian_lily
Something New by megwritesfanfiction
The Boys Start the War and the Girls Get Even by crystymre
The Heist by katschako
The Need Inside You by ohmytheon
the shape of your words by nascence
The Wonderful World of Jealousy by ohmytheon
These Stones We Skip by miraimisu
With the Touch of My Staff by miraimisu
If you can recommend me some (I’m pretty sure there are a lot of beautiful Kacchako fics out there I might’ve missed bc srsly this fandom has SO MANY talented writers), feel free to leave them in the comments and I’ll be more than happy to add them here
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For the asks— do all the even numbers!
107.58
That’s so long, fuck- ok here we go!
2. I am outgoing until I can’t mask anymore, or I have a sensory overload.
4 I like to think I am easy to get along with!
6 ,,,Attracted as in romantically? I have no idea. But in a platonic way, similar interests, concern for my wellbeing and happiness, understanding and knowing of my limits and able to compromise!
8 Real life, no one. But Drake Mallard lives rent free in my mind
10 My roommate! We are very similar in many ways and we have some similar backgrounds, so we talk often about them and everything going on right now as well.
12 current 5 favorite songs: Vices by Mothica, Garden Song by Phoebe Bridgers, A Letter To Time by Livingston, Peace by Taylor Swift, and Cherry Wine by Hozier!
14 I believe in miracles. This world is too random and spontaneous for things people deem miracles to not be, ya know? But I don’t believe in luck. Circumstance plays into it, as well as pure chance.
16 Oh, fuck no. I would not kiss them again
18 My guy I can’t even tell you what was really a crush and what was heteronormativity forced on me from grade school onward. So... no?
20 I live in a dorm and I fuckin love my neighbors rn. On one side they’re both enby like me, and on the other they’re super sweet and polite!
22 I really want to visit Europe. Classic american answer, yeah, but I love history and theirs is so much more interesting than ours
24 My favorote part of my daily routine (that is consistent, student teaching and classes are nuts) is spending time doing homework and hanging out with my roommate at the end of each day, before she goes in to work the night shift. It’s calm and gives us a chance to catch up!
26 When I wake up I usually groan and fall back asleep for another ten minutes. I make sure to have a few alarms set so I don’t sleep through the morning!
28 My roommate. We’ve known each other for three years and she doesn’t judge me or make me feel uncomfy- it’s really nice as someone with autism to be able to live in close, constant contact with someone who you trust and are comfortable around!
30 Hmm...maybe? Marriage isn’t something I’ve ever truly thought about in a realistic sense- sure, I’d imagine a wedding and what mine would look like if I had one. But I’ve never imagined actually GETTING married to someone.
32 I will not have a threesome with celebrities because I am ~traumatised~ and do not like sexual intimacy
34 I don’t play sports, but when I was little I was part of a gymnastics class!
36 I have indeed liked someone and never told them. It was honestly for the better lmao
38 I don’t think I can really describe a dream person? I’m not very keen on having a list to check off when looking for a partner. If anything, though, I’d say trustworthy and caring.
40 I’m already out of high school lol. I’m in my junior year majoring in Early Childhood/Special Education!
42 Being extremely quiet for me usually means sensory overload, depressive thoughts, or my rejection sensitive dysphoria rearing its ugly head. Most of the time its a mix of the three.
44 Trip to puter space > bottom of the ocean, any day. DEEP SEA SCARES ME!
46 I’m paranoid that everything I’ve ever done in my life is all for naught, and I’ve faked everything about myself subconsciously.
48 I have been drunk before! My seven year old self accidentally drank a full margarita instead of the kiddie version my grandma made with sprite instead of alcohol.
50 The color of the last hoodie I wore was grey!
52 One thing I wish I could change about myself is I wish I didn’t have so much weight. It’s not fun trying to navigate the world as an afab nonbinary person with people telling you it’s “just because you don’t like your body”.
54 My favorite store is Walmart for groceries (broke college students holla) and Torrid for clothes! (They have cuter stuff than anywhere else, and carry my size always)
56 My favorite color is Blue! Kind of a dark sky blue, like sky blue 3 or 4
58 I just had some Hershey’s candy drops as the last thing I ate!
60 In fourth and fifth grade I won two school writing competitions and got a trophy for it 😌 I wrote about the Titanic (thank you special interest)!
62 I have never been arrested, and I’m not planning on it any time soon lol
64 My first kiss was a dare and I hated every second of it cause the guy was an ass about it until it happened (he’d been badgering me for weeks)
66 Uhh I’m gonna be honest and say no? As much as I love my tumblr friends (ayy hi guys) I’ve known my friends in real life for longer and those bonds are just, amazing and so strong.
68 Tumblr > Twitter, any day.
70 my best friends’ names are: Emili, Autumn, Maggie, and Erin
72 My towels are grey
74 I have many stuffed animals- uh probably seven or eight.
76 Not answering this one lmao
78 My favorote ice cream clavor is Graham Central Station from this place called Bruster’s! It’s really good.
80 I am wearing blue pajama pants because ~comfy~
82 My favorite movie is Coraline! I watch it repeatedly
84 Mean Girls > 21 Jump Street
86 Nemo is my favorite character from Finding Nemo!
88 The last person I talked to today was my roommate
90 I love my baby brother Reid!
92 I am not currently in a fight with anyone.
94 I own three sweaters/hoodies- I need to get more!
96 My favorote actress is and always will be Kiera Knightley.
98 I do not tan a lot- naturally or artificially. I just burn #whitepeopleproblems
100 I am feeling *tired*. A bitch is exhausted today
102 I regret everything from my past
104 I don’t tend to miss people that much? I’m not good with emotional connections to people that last after they’re gone.
106 I feel like I’ve broken my mother’s heart- for coming out, for rebelling, etc.
108 I should be working on homework but I am not.
110 I have indeed liked someone so much it hurt- in the sense that liking them was not good for me and led to a lot of heartache.
112 The last person I cried in front of was my parents, and it was not on purpose lmao
114 I’ve been out of my state lots- Florida, South and North Carolina, West Virgina, Delaware, Massachusetts.
116 Nope, not currently listening to music.
118 I fuckin LOVE chinese food
120 I used to be afraid of the dark, not anymore. I love it now.
122 Cheating is NEVER okay.
124 I do not believe in love at first sight- I barely believe in love 🤷🏼
126 I am indeed currently bored
128 I would love to change my name- legally and personally. I’m not sure “Ryn” is suitable anymore
130 I don’t like subway. Not a fan of sub sandwiches
132 The last person I had a deep conversation with is my roommate
134 Pfft, no. I can’t count to one million my brain wouldn’t focus that long
136 Due to the fact I live in a community dorm hall, I sleep with my door closed and ~locked~
138 Straight hair
140 Winter > Summer
142 My favorite month is October! Atlanta Pride, my birthday, and Halloween! Plus it starts getting colder!
144 Dark>Milk>White chocolate, in that order
146 Since it’s now morning, yes today has been a good day so far
148 My favorite quote is anything that has to do with being a decent fucking human being
150 The first line of the page is “You were right”.
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851
How have you been feeling lately? Have you been doing ok?
Uncomfortable because of period cramps and the heat WHICH IS STILL HERE, even though it’s supposed to be gone right about now and it’s supposed to be raining at this point. I wish I was kidding saying this but we literally have three electric fans turned on just for the living and dining rooms. It’s crazy and stupid and it shouldn’t be this hot anymore. I’m doing better mentally and emotionally, so at least that balances things out lol.
Are you currently in quarantine?
Still am. While all countries are slowly going back to normal, our Covid cases continue to get higher and higher everyday because our government hasn’t done anything except to make us stay home for three months. No mass testing, no alternate public transport plans, and for some reason Duterte keeps borrowing billions of dollars’ worth of loans from the World Bank nearly every week, and we have no idea where the stupid fucking money goes. Our government is convinced they’ve been doing everything right so they’ve loosened up quarantine protocols, so with malls and restaurants being open again we’ve done nothing but reach record high cases almost every day.
Do you wear a mask when you go to the store?
I’ve gone outside a total of three times since March and I wore a mask for two of those times. The first time I went out I just genuinely forgot to bring a mask, but in the end it was fine because I only had to stay in the car.
Does your state require people to wear masks in stores?
As far as I know it’s not a requirement per se, but fortunately everyone follows the safety precautions anyway.
Do you know anyone who’s had the coronavirus?
Yeah, my mom’s former boss. This is a bit of a stretch but I also know someone personally who had immediate family members that tested positive.
What was the last sweet treat you ate?
I had a peanut butter doughnut from J.CO! Soooooooo good.
Was it a nice day out today?
No, it’s too hot. Even if life was normal rn I’d prefer to be indoors with air conditioning, like a mall.
Is the weather nice where you live usually?
Fuck no. It is disgustingly hot, sticky, and humid 3/4 of the year.
What was the last thing you ordered online?
I don’t do a lot of online shopping. When I get something online it’s usually to get food delivered, and the last time I did that it was me and Andrew getting Hong Kong noodles.
Are you expecting a package right now?
Nopes.
Have you ever ordered anything from Wish? If so, what did you buy, and did you feel it was worth it?
No, though I remember Good Mythical Morning featuring it in a couple of episodes. I don’t feel comfortable buying from stores or sellers that sell things for a lot cheaper because they could always be fake, so I wouldn’t feel comfortable buying from that site.
Are you a youtuber? If so, are you consistent with uploads? and how many subscribers do you have?
I’m not, but I do have my own channel. I just use it to like videos and subscribe to my favorites, though.
What is one thing you hate about summer?
The weather. Honest to goodness I’d really rather live somewhere that gave me -40C weather everyday.
Did you go outside today?
No. My dad wanted to bring Cooper to my grandma’s place and I planned to come along, but at the last minute he changed his mind and did just the errands he was supposed to do.
What is the name of your youtube channel, if you have one?
It’s just my full name because my YouTube is linked to my Google account.
What was the name of the last store or restaurant that overcharged you?
I don’t know any instances where that would happen. I don’t find service charge inconvenient because I know that directly goes to the servers anyway so I don’t mind how high it gets most of the time.
Is your room more often messy or clean?
It’s clean most of the time but sometimes when I’m busy I won’t be able to keep it clean and it’ll be clean-messy? Like I’ll leave stuff around but I’ll still know where everything is lol.
Who is someone you miss?
ALL MY FRIENDS BRUH
What is something you miss?
Being able to go out and freely do activities. Life Pre-COVID < Life pre-COVID, perfectly put. I miss getting an allowance, being out until midnight, having dates with my girlfriend thhe most.
Do you feel like your emotions are often haywire?
Not necessarily, but they can get pretty unstable sometimes.
Have you ever received a misdiagnosis from a doctor?
Nah but I’ve been given a prescription that didn’t work. We went to our family doctor who made me take a certain medicine for three days, and I started getting worried when three days had passed and I still had my fever. I went to Angela’s mom and she was super quick to tell me that that medicine wasn’t the right one to take for a UTI and prescribed me with something else; and that second one ended up working like magic.
Have you ever been “diagnosed” with a mental illness from an online friend? who is not a doctor? If yes, isn’t that frustrating?
That’s never happened before, but if it did I wouldn’t let my frustration get the best of me. I’d just tell them that they should avoid doing that if they’re not a professional because they could very much end up seriously harming people.
Do you have any friends that you can trust and tell everything to?
All of them.
What was the name of your favorite roommate you’ve had?
Kimi :)
Do you have a favorite book that you’ve read multiple times?
Yeah when I was a kid I would reread this book that an aunt had given me for Christmas as much as I could. For many years I forgot the title but after painstakingly Googling the few keywords I could remember I finally found out it again – it’s a series called Three Girls in the City by Jeanne Betancourt, but I only ever read the first book because it was the only gift I got. It’s not my favorite book, but I’d be so happy if I got to be reunited with it again because I don’t think we got to keep it around when we moved houses.
What’s one book or book series that you’ve read multiple times?
^ That, multiple wrestling memoirs, and Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami. I’ve also reread the Twilight Saga once.
What was the name of the funniest kid you’ve ever babysat?
I never babysat anyone other than younger relatives, but the one I enjoyed taking care of the most was my cousin Lucas. He was the smartest kid I babysat so it was fun talking to him, plus his yaya was always nice to me, they had a playground and sandbox at home, and all I had to do was keep him company while he watched Thomas and Friends over and over.
Do you enjoy babysitting?
Just the younger relatives that were smarter and more behaved. I didn’t like the kids who thought kicking and being rowdy were fun.
Do you have any big regrets?
One big one.
Are there things about your past that bother you?
Of course. My entire childhood is one.
What was the last thing you saw or read on social media that made you angry?
OMG get ready for this one. Our dumb as a rock presidential spokesperson was talking about how happy he is that the country beat UP’s (my school, which the government hates because we always talk shit about them lol) prediction of 40,000 Covid cases by the end of June if the government doesn’t do anything to prevent more cases. How many cases do we have? Fucking 36,000. Our government is happy because they finally beat our school over something for the very first time and they are technically happy that we got 36,000 cases, which if you round up will give you 40,000 anyway. My school had a fucking FIELD DAY over it and now he is a national meme.
Do you often post about controversial topics on facebook?
At first I didn’t but that’s because I wasn’t active on Facebook in the past anyway. After I realized that I had a bigger friends list on Facebook I decided to put it to good use and post about controversial topics to educate others. It’s made a bunch of conservative family members uncomfortable and that’s the goal, son.
Do you think it’s a good idea to post about serious topics on social media? or do you think that it’s better to discuss serious topics in person?
It definitely is. In person is good too but you don’t always get that opportunity, so sharing stuff through social media doesn’t hurt too as long as information is accurate. For instance most of my relatives life far from me, so if I want them to get a piece of my mind about Trump or BLM or abortion, sharing informative graphics and tables is always convenient.
What was your favorite book you had to read for school?
Without Seeing the Dawn by Stevan Javellana is my absolute favorite. It’s probably the closest thing to being my favorite book. Number the Stars by Lois Lowry is a good runner-up. On the other hand, Dekada ‘70 by Lualhati Bautista is my favorite that was written in Filipino.
Have you ever failed a class and had to repeat it?
Nope. I really believe I was meant to fail algebra in my freshman year in high school because I failed every exam, but I think my teacher just took pity on me and gave me a barely-passing mark at the end of the year so that I didn’t have to go to summer school. As for college, I’ve never failed a class.
What class in school did you hate the most?
In college I hated my economics elective. I still don’t know why that’s mandatory for us journ students... I also dreaded a couple of journalism classes, but it was more because of the teachers than the classes’ topics.
Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?
I don’t think so.
What’s one childhood dream that has stuck with you, and one that has not?
Having a big house; becoming a firefighter.
Would you want to re-live your childhood over again if you could?
I’ve already said it on this survey, but: fuck no. I’m ok where I am now, even if I am a clumsy adult.
Which do you like more: being an adult or being a kid?
Being an adult. Being a kid meant having to stomach the smell of hard alcohol and cigarettes from morning to evening everyday; being caught in the middle of screaming matches between drunk relatives; and being cramped in a single-floor home with 12 people. Like I said, I love where I am now. The amount of independence I gained in college was freeing and felt so nice and I’m glad my parents never tried holding me back. I’m also glad that I didn’t fall into the same alcohol trap, and that I know how to deal with my alcohol responsibly.
At what age were you when you started to feel like you were mature enough to offer others advice?
Around college-age, so like when I turned 18.
Did your parents smoke or drink when you were growing up?
Neither of them did, because we had enough alcoholism happening at my old home. It was actually my drunken relatives that finally drove my mom out of that house.
Do you enjoy bonfires?
I’ve only been to one and I was like 9 years old then, so I wouldn’t know how I feel about them now.
Have you ever stepped on a sparkler?
Nope.
What, do you know of, are you allergic to?
No allergies.
Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Also nopes. I always feel bad for the ambulances that I see because I live in a very traffic-heavy city and they always end up getting stuck and crawling through traffic like the rest of us. We do try to swerve, but our roads are so tiny and always cramped that there’s little space left for us to move out of the ambulance’s way, so even though we’re able to make a path for it, the space is not big enough for the ambulance to drive in the speed it’s supposed to.
What is your favorite version of the Bible to read, if applicable?
That’s a big no thanks from me.
Do you follow trends? or are you a trendsetter?
Yeah, I follow some of them if I think they are nice.
Has anyone ever described you as a trendsetter?
Nope, because I am not.
Do you know anyone who used to be loving, but then turned cold? List three people you’ve known whom this has happened to.
My mom, Athenna, Macy. The only person I don’t resent out of these three is Macy, because I know she turned distant due to mental health issues and because she wants to fix herself first, which is responsible.
What SAT subjects, if any, did you get a perfect score in?
We don’t have SAT.
What were your best subjects in school? and what was your favorite subject in school?
I loved taking history electives in college, and I performed the best in them too. I also did well in international relations, which was under the political science department.
Have you ever been abused by a parent or legal guardian?
I’ve been verbally and emotionally abused by my mom ever since I can remember.
Do you have a lot of wounds from your past?
If we’re getting visual then I’d rather say that I have one ugly, infected gash that gets bothersome from time to time. My past isn’t made up of little tiny scattered wounds.
Has anyone ever called you a jerk?
Behind my back, probably.
Are you a jerk?
I can be, so I don’t mind being called it. I never said I was the nicest person.
What color were your bedroom walls in high school?
They have always been white. My mom doesn’t let us have control over our own rooms, so in the beginning it’s always been plain boring white. Don’t get me wrong, I like my room but sometimes it just feels like living in a cell.
Is there a girl or guy you wish you hadn’t let slip away?
I wish I was still close with my high school friends, and I remember saying how they were for keeps in my old surveys so that makes me extra sad haha. I’m civil with most of them, but no longer close. And I only ever talk to them if it’s their birthdays or if they achieved something big. The only people I’ve remained close with from that original group are Angela and Hans.
Is there an old friend that you miss and would like to reconnect with?
Not really. Sofie and I have grown apart from each other now and we’re both very happy, so there’s no need to change that. I’m okay with seeing her once or twice a year.
Who has hurt you the most?
My mom.
Have you been bullied?
Yeah in kindergarten. Long-lasting effects though.
Which talent show, if any, would you most like to audition for? and have you auditioned for one?
No thanks. I don’t have the kind of talent that I can show off, like singing or playing an instrument.
Do you know anyone who’s auditioned for American Idol?
I don’t think so. But my mom knows someone who auditioned for our local version of America’s Got Talent. He’s a ventriloquist that my mom used to get for our parties. As far as I know he got into the grand finals, but I’m not sure if he won.
Is there someone you think should audition that hasn’t yet?
American Idol’s been over for a while now.
What time of day do you usually feel your best?
I love the evenings.
What’s one way in which you’ve changed within the last ten years?
I was in sixth grade then, I’ve graduated from college now. My mom was purely verbally abusive to me then, now we have brief stints of having an actually healthy relationship. I had one dog then and I have two dogs now; I had no friends then and I have tons of them now. There’s been a lot of tiny changes but nothing that were life-changing.
Do you feel like time goes by fast, or slow?
It goes both ways depending on how stimulated I am or how much fun I’m having.
Who do you know who has died of cancer?
One of my great-aunts.
Has there been cancer in your family?
Yeah, ^ that. Other than her I’m not sure if we’ve had other cases. My family tends to be hush-hush about cancer and only ever call it ‘c’ or ‘the big one.’
Have you ever stayed overnight in a hospital, and if so, what for?
Yes, once for a low platelet count.
Have you ever been a victim of police misconduct?
No but the cops here are just as corrupt as the ones in the US, so I can very much be a victim any time. It’s just a matter of being in the wrong place at the right time.
Have you ever been so angry you wanted to sue someone?
Not so much that I wanted to sue someone, no.
Have you ever been a victim of racism?
My country isn’t diverse at all and we’re all Filipinos here, and I’ve only ever traveled to Asian countries, so no. But racism is a big reason why I have no plans to go to other countries known for it.
Have you ever deleted a friend on Facebook for making racist comments?
I’ve unfriended those who were being little bitches about BLM and George Floyd’s death, so I guess that kinda counts as being racist. I still have a few racist Facebook friends that I keep around, but that’s because they’re family members.
What was the last thing you ate?
Binagoongan.
What was the theme of your senior prom?
Clair de Lune, so like the moon and shit.
Did you go to prom?
It was mandatory, so I had to go even though I really had no interest.
Have ever been engaged or married?
I have been neither.
Are you an aunt or uncle?
Nah but I’m a godmother to one of my cousins.
Do you live to glorify God and to do His will?
LOL no
Are you happy with the way you are living your life day-to-day right now?
It could be better and more filled with activity. But I’m not miserably depressed right now and that’s more than enough for me.
Do you feel like your life was better or worse six years ago?
It was slightly better. I feel like 2014 was my best year.
Have you ever made a huge, catastrophic mistake?
Not anything that ruined my life or someone else’s, no.
Do you feel like you are currently in a state of suffering? and that not all of your basic needs are being met? If so, how long have you been in a state of suffering?
Basic needs?? So you mean poverty? No.
Do you hate social injustice?
Absolutely. Anyone who tolerates it is automatically a gigantic prick, I’d say.
Are you happy with the current social class you are in?
No. I don’t know how it translates to English, but in Filipino we have this term called naghaharing-uri that comprises the very very very very tiny top of the social pyramid and it’s made up of top government officials and their families, heads of corporations, old money families, etc. It’s no secret that it’s this 1% that exploits the 99% remaining in the pyramid, so even though I’m relatively comfortable in my class, I hate that, when it comes down to it, we’re only being used by this 1% for their own benefit.
Life isn’t fair. True or false?
True.
Do you hate that life is so unfair?
Sometimes, if it’s for stuff about social injustice and how some people have to be homeless, why homophobia exists, etc. But if it’s for tiny problems, I feel like they’re necessary sometimes so we can learn from them.
Name a few people who seem to have everything handed to them.
Some richer kids that I know.
Who do you go to when you’re upset?
Sometimes myself, sometimes Gabie.
Do you pray less or more than you did 5 years ago?
A LOT LESS, thank fuck I got out of that trap.
Do you pray a lot?
Definitely not.
Do you frequently have back pain?
Yeah, haha. Kinda expected considering I have scoliosis.
What’s the worst side effect you’ve experienced for a medication? and what’s the worst withdrawal effect you’ve experienced from a medicine?
Nothing worse than diarrhea. I’ve never experienced withdrawal.
Have you ever used an epi pen?
Nopes.
What’s a name that you like but probably wouldn’t use for one of your kids?
Isabella because I’m already an Isabelle and my girlfriend has a sister named Isabela.
What’s your name, and do you like it?
Robyn. I like it now.
Would you prefer to give your kids common names or unique names?
Common, more old-school names. I just feel like they sound super elegant.
Do you feel like anybody values you in the way that you deserve?
Angela, Andrew, and Gab.
Who have you felt the most valued by?
^ Them.
Have you ever been treated like you were inferior?
For sure.
What was the name of the biggest bully in your high school?
Oh my god this survey is so long... we didn’t have bullies in high school. We had mean girls and mean girl cliques, but as long as you weren’t involved in drama with them you’d be fine.
Do you ever sleep outside?
Nah. I’d sleep at the rooftop but there are sooooo many mosquitoes at night.
How many siblings do you have?
Two.
Are you the oldest, youngest, middle, or only child?
Eldest.
How many kids do you want to have?
One or two would be great.
Do you want to get married?
Yessssssss.
Best date you’ve been on?
Probably that time we went to BGC so we can feel fancy and have a fancy dinner, then when we meant to walk back to our car to go home we ended up having impromptu drinks at like 11 PM when we randomly found a jazz bar loudly playing live music in the area. OH and that time we went museum hopping in Manila and we ended the day having delicioussss Italian food.
Dream date?
Traveling out of the country.
Ever kissed someone on New Year’s?
Nah. We celebrate New Year’s with our respective families so there’s no chance of that happening. Which is fine, because New Year’s is traditionally a family-centric holiday here so it would be weird for anyone to ditch their families.
Have you ever had an experience so good you felt like you were flying?
Sure.
Have you ever been in so much pain you prayed that you would die?
YES, with my toothache last year.
What brings you the most joy?
My dogs.
What is your passion; what is it that would bring you the most joy and fulfillment in life?
I’m at a point where it still keeps changing, so I don’t wanna give an absolute answer to this just yet.
Have you ever laid your dreams aside because someone else wanted you to?
That’s never happened to me. I only ever gave up on one dream because it realistically wasn’t attainable, when it came down to it.
Who supports you in everything you do?
My two best friends.
Who always tries to stop you whenever you try to go after your dreams?
I haven’t had anyone bar me, but if someone tried to they would definitely hear from me.
Do you believe in following your heart, in going after your dreams?
Not always.
Do you wish other people would want you to be happy?
Of course.
Do you wish you had someone who loved and supported you?
I already do.
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****
linking this here bc it was technically a journal? i just don’t want it on my notes anymore and if i ever (likely not to) want to re-read for whatever reason. please note that i knew people would read this so things are censored and are the basic version. also there was a switch at one point from **** to chris because i didn’t want things to be read
(for later when i got time lmao)
Matt is a piece of shit that just wants to fuck -Chloe
well fuck
here goes nothing
the plan: don’t get drunk bc i got shit to do early next morning and ill tell him tomorrow when i do get drunk. spoiler alert that didn’t work
Gaby (coles gf) came too btw
so i had a smirnoff ice and said no more than two shots after so id be buzzed but not fully drunk (i ended up having three and was very much drunk)
me jon and gaby we’re talking about guys and i mentioned something about liking a guy or some shit and gaby looks at matt and then me and confirms it with me. then she tells me that apparently when she met me and a few other friends at the beach last quarter, that she predicted the two of us would end up together and told cole this. im like wtf how and she claims she’s psychic lol
later, Matt and i are on the sack and he looks at me and goes do you like me and im thinking well fuck so i say yes and he’s like well shit sorry but (and then i forgot exactly what he said) something along the lines of it’s not mutual or it’s not the right timing (i forgot okay) and then he gets up after a bit to go to the bathroom (I’m pretty sure cole went out too) and then me gaby and Jon have a chisme session and they think that he does like me but whatever
so the guys come back and at this point i really need to pee again so matt offers to take me and we start talking and he’s all, oh im sorry if i led you on and shit and im like it’s alright ill get over it, it just might be a bit awkward for me for a bit. but then on our way back from the bathroom he asks me , do you wanna at least kiss your crush at least one time and im like uhh yeah so he kisses me and then we start talking but i forgot about what and im kinda dizzy so he says, oh let’s sit on the couches for a bit before we go back, so we do and somehow we kiss again and then start making out
and at this point im like bitch there’s no way you don’t like me like why would you do that if you didn’t
so we finally go back and it’s been some time so the rest of em are obviously curious
matt goes with cole to the bathroom again and the three of us have a chisme session otra vez and they’re like yeah he fucking likes you he’s prob just scared bc of his last relationship
cole comes back in and basically backs up their side based on his convo he just had with matt
and so it’s decided that we’ll both sleep on the sack, Jon sleeps on his bed and the other two together in coles bed
he comes back and we all “go to sleep” but I push for him to hold me like he usually does whenever we sleep together and around like 2,3 am we both start making out again and just like uhhhh
also we’re both very much drunk but of course i tend to remember things whenever ive gotten drunk, however, he did not and so now we gotta talk and figure shit out and go from there
also im not telling Emilou or Hanna yet until we figure things out so
yeah
fuck
alrighty, so after last night, ive decided to do absolutely nothing about it and decided to just let things play out the way things do. i don’t wanna say something and ruin our friendship that we have bc i trust him a lot and like hanging out with him, so, i guess the end of this note for now, unless the situation changes anytime soon
Can Tim see what I write on this? -Chloe
Yes -Janet
Hi Tim!
-Chloe
Tim pls respond.
-Chloe
Hi Chloe! Sorry I have been busy at home LOL
He responded I’m so happy!
-Chloe
FYI im just going to add things at the top of the note so that its easiwr to see stuff when i add it bc then otherwise youd have to scroll a ton
and I’m dating shit so i know when I wrote stuff and my memory and yeahhh
FEB 15 1 pm
chillin in alp so lets get this chisme
alrighty so last night i stayed the night in pratts but it wasnt just me so calmate, it was me and jon bc long story short i was too lazy/dizzy to get up and jons roommate had her bf over. basically we both shared the bed, not a lot of physical contact but whateva
brb
anyways, there was also one point where he was watching a movie from his childhood and idk what tf it was but he was shocked that i havent seen those movies, so apparently now im gonna watch them so i told him for payback we gotta watch disney movies lmao
oh also! i fucking got back to my room and took a shower to get ready for class, and when hanna gets back from class shes all like oh you slept in HiS rOoM huh and i was like uhhh yeah and told her the truth like i was too lazy and dizzy to get up and then she didnt really say anything but uhhhh yikes
and then i mentioned this to emilou later when we were walking to class and shes like yeah idk why she did that that was weird and i was thinking like thank God she doesnt think the same as hanna bc shes also slept in his room on the bean bag a few times
FEB 14 2pm
heyyy its valentines day and guess whos still single and workinggg
so uhhh last night, around 1, both me and pratt finished our shit (hw and studying) and im wide awake so im like hey, brooklyn 99? (because i got him into the show and i love rewatching the show bc its sooo good) and hes down so we start watching in his room. were both on his bed but were sitting (for the tie being) and eventually i decide to lay down and use one of his pillows but its the flat pillow so i attempt to steal his other one, which he protests and we lowkey wrestle over it and eventually i fail ugh and i fall over in frustration and land my head on his knee and then just quit and stay there, but get this, he just deals with it and lays on top of me, like his head is on my side. granted we both also have pillows so like his pillow is in between me and him and same for me but like ughhh
and eventually i fall asleep for like an episode (?) and wake up right before 3 am, and then decide hey sleep sounds important bc i have an 8 am and so does he, so i sit up but im too lazy to get up right away so i sit and go through twitter and shit so chris just lays down with his head on my leg and i set my arm down on his chest and he falls asleep for a few minutes and then i finish going through my social media and every part of me doesnt wanna move, but im also in a position that would be uncomfortable to fall asleep in so i wake him up and then go back to my room
oh and the other thing i forgot was that for a good couple hours we were texting and joking around and yeahhh
i feel like im reading a lot into what happens but at the same time, like i doubt id be this comfortable doing shit with guys like this and idk about him, but like sometimes i wonder you know?
also, saturday night, as far as i know, its just me and him going to the basketball game bc idk who else is going (eye emoji insert here bc im on my computer lmao) so we'll see what happens
FEB 10 11am
okay soooo last night,
the plan was to get buzzed, just me and matt and watch Brooklyn 9-9 but then Anthony and emilou joined us so never mind. after a bit, Anthony leaves so he can answer a phone call and pratt offers me shot #1 and not emilou (she’s laying on the bean bag, I’m on his roommates bed chillin behind her so she can’t see what’s up)
we take two and im slightly buzzed but i think “hey lets see how much we can take before she notices” and he’s down so uhhh let’s get this
later we have to include Anthony and he’s down to see how much we can take and he just lets us continue, i get to 4 shots and he finishes the bottle so i can’t have a 5th
brb im gonna go eat with him
okay im back now...
anyways were both pretty out of it, emilou still hasnt noticed and anthony finds this all funny i assume and so do i , and eventually she finds out and then the two of them leave i guess around 2 am and the two of us are both on the bean bag and were both tired and drunk and drunk me like petting his hair and apparently holding his hand and well yeah i kinda hate drunk me bc if that wasnt obvious enough lmao :/
continuin, we basically end up cuddled together most of the night until we both kind of sober up hella early in the morning and kind of separate a bit
and so in the morning guess who brought it uppp and i at least have an excuse that i was drunk and not thinking and just kinda doing whatever drunk me wanted to do (but omggg his hair is so fucking nice to play with omg) anyways imma just die real quick bc idk what happens now
also since no one else was in the room literally no one else knows about this and i think were keeping it that way bc lets be honest if anyone found out about that i think id be screwed for secret keeping and then well yeah
FEB 8 1AM
i remembered:
sunday 2-3
i forgot this happened but before I ended up in chris’s room i was chillin upstairs watching tv and then he came out on the phone with some one and long story short he said something on the phone to his friend along the lines of “you’re gonna have me in your life for a long time” and when he was saying that i was looking at him bc soy chismosa and i was curious and he winked at me and I died
Monday 2-4
so the other thing that happened was I had lunch/dinner with him before my writing class and no recuerdo que decimos, but uhhhh yeah
i like hanging out with him
also, just got back from his room and am more convinced that he may not like me but actually just sees me as a friend but at the same time maybe he does but IDK
i hate feelings and it’d be so much easier if i didn’t have them sometimes lmaooo
FEB 7 5-7 PM
so im currently in the room rn so im gonna try to make this as chronological as possible
saturday 2-2
alrighty so mind you this is the day ive volunteered with ship and have spent the whole day there, (i dont remember why i thought this was relevant :/)
so saturday night, i go to work in his room around 8 (?) so i can work on my essay and finish my shit bc he has a bean bag thats hella comfy to work on
andd so later on, jocelyn comes in to watch anime with him and then after i finish we all decide to watch gabriel iglesias and ended up squishing together on the bean bag with me in the middle of the two of them
and so were all chillin there, laughing whatever and at one point chris fucking pratt puts his head on my shoulder for a little bit and i dIeDddd
and eventually i fall asleep when we start watching emperors new groove and mind you im fucking next to chris pratt like uhhhh my GOD
so i wake up once the movies over and then go to the bathroom and come back and by then he has taken over the whole bean bag and im sad that i cant just get back and go back to sleep so i go back to my room
(hanna doesnt know what time i get back i think and im pretty sure it was around4 am) (emilous also not here bc she went home for the weekend)
sunday 2-3
so i decide hey i was productive yesterday and decide to return to his room to work on shit and try to get as much done before work in theevening
i finish around 1/2? and then i tell him im bored and i wanna do something before work but idk what so he says lets go to the rec room and its just the two of us and its chillin and he puts me on his story playing pool lmao
and then i go to work :(
but then THEN later after work i go for a run and end up back in his room and theres a couple other people there and so were all chilling (mind you this is around midnight)
and somehow i end up falling asleep on the bean bag next to this girl jon from my hall and (this is a secret in a secret) but i hear her get up at one point and then chris pratt then joins me and during the night im tossing and turning and leaning on him a bit (ughhhh i died a shit ton)
monday 2-4
so in the morning around 720 or so i wake up pay dumb and am like oh whend you get here and he explains and then hes like yeah i dont really know the girl who slept in my bed (one of jons friends) and i figured since im more comfortable with you id just move here (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck me upppp) [please note that when i say fuck me up i dont mean that type of fuck]
alrighty thats what i remember that i havent told you, and then the other bit from the screen record was tuesday and now its thursday and here i am in guess whos room again
possibly staying the night lmao
but jons also here so its not like im staying the night staying the night
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hi i feel really dumb about dating and it’s making me pretty sad but also I found someone who feels the same and we’re probs gonna drink about it this weekend so that’s nice to look forward to
so like. in middle school my logic was that I feel equally attracted to guys as to girls so obviously I’m bi, right?? bc when i thought about it at the time like I could definitely see myself being close to girls and guys were just this mystery group but like sometimes i got crushes i think so that made the most sense
and then in high school i realized that the reason i’m equally attracted to guys and girls is that i’m actually not attracted to either haha whoops and i haven’t actually wanted to date any specific guys since like early elementary school (and does that really even count???) so i guess I’m ace and homoromantic bc that makes the most sense
so then i get to college and a couple people have asked me out in the past few years but mostly I avoid people who might make a move or like... act differently until I’m positive they don’t wanna ask me out anymore. and that’s fine. I don’t have time to figure out my issues with vulnerability and why the thought of sex freaks me out like nothing else. I have friends and i’m not too lonely and things are fine
but THEN last year i met this guy at band camp. literally within the week i was determined that this kid is gonna be my friend, god dammit. He’s kinda quiet, kinda solemn, but sarcastic and funny and really nice and willing to do a lot for everyone, including strangers and people who have done him wrong. he’s into magic and dnd and overwatch and pro-gaming but he also is very aware of the issues within the communities and he’s very outspoken about all kinds of equality. basically, he’s a funny liberal nerd who has good fashion sense and cares a lot about other people. i’m going off on a tangent because i’m dumb and i don’t give myself many opportunities to gush about him
so we become friends (it’s slow-going, there’s a lot of times that i’m worried he’ll think I’m hitting on him or being creepy, a few times where i feel like i overstepped because i’m an anxious idiot who doesn’t actually know how to pursue a friendship that doesn’t come naturally and he naturally assumes that people don’t strongly want to be his friend) and by the end of the season we’re close enough that we’ve made a group of four to room together for a band trip.
last spring i realized that like... i really wouldn’t mind dating him. it’s just a small thought in the back of my head. the thought of sex still terrifies me, that’s still out of the question, but i like, want to hold his hand and be able to tell him he’s cute and i love when he dorks out and i love that he has all these random history and mechanical knowledge that makes its way into our conversations. but i’m also 1000% down to stay friends, in fact that’s preferable because I don’t know the first thing about being in a relationship, and it took so long to get to being friends that there’s no room in my mind to think that he would want to date. we also talk a lot about his dating life because he’s had some bad relationships in the past and he doesn’t think he’s good at it and it’s something that’s on his mind a lot. but he’s mentioned enough about his dating preferences that i have sincere doubts that he’d like me enough to get over his dislike of dating friends. so we’re fine, and I stop thinking about it
i sublet his apartment from him for the summer and we see each other probably two weeks total out of the summer break; sometimes he comes back to the apartment for events going on, i go to his hometown for a festival, we meet somewhere in the middle to see a dci show. but we’re texting every day, usually something near morning time and a decent conversation in the afternoon/evening and it’ll go into the night when (usually) i fall asleep in the middle of a conversation that i’ll respond to the next morning. rinse, recycle, repeat. i haven’t enjoyed texting someone so frequently, like, ever. near the end of the summer we talk on the phone a couple times, because he’s more stressed about things and he has like an hour and a half commute around the same time that i get out of lab and it’s a lot easier to call than for him to use talk-to-text. it’s nice.
band camp this year was super stressful. we’re both on staff so we spend a lot of the day separately handling things and getting to know people and doing what needs to be done, then we’d get (second) dinner after that and chat. he doesn’t feel like he can fill the previous section leader’s shoes. i’m optimistic and i believe that the staff are rough but manageable. we spend about ten days going to bed at 1 or 2, waking up at 6 or 7, and spending the rest of our time running around and playing music and getting to know 10 new members and welcoming back the other 20 members of the section. it’s tiring; we both got sick during it and tbh i don’t think either of us are 100% over it
i start spending a lot more time at the apartment, even though i have a job at my dorm. at some point i’m pretty sure i was sleeping over 3 or 4 nights a week. i would go a whole weekend without stepping foot in my dorm. we start getting more touchy. it’s small at first, but it gets to the point where we’ll do that hand touching thing that i really like, where we just put our hands together and fiddle with each other’s fingers (i don’t actually know what to call it, it’s just me fiddling and twitching but with the bonus of human contact) or he’ll give me a shoulder rub because i seem stressed. but also sometimes he’ll pull away suddenly or i’ll try to give him a shoulder rub and he’ll make a joke “you know how i feel about being touched” and he’ll move away. and i do know how he feels about being touched: it’s something that, other than some casual touches (a hand on the shoulder, that sort of thing), he only does with someone he’s dating. but also he’s initiating a lot of this, so maybe he’s branching out from that ideology? or maybe he’s interested in me? or maybe he just doesn’t know how to tell me that he’s super uncomfortable with me touching him and he really would like us to go back to not touching??? so i spend a few days stressing that i’m being a mega creep before he starts a convo about it and explains. us being touchy is nice but he feels like he’s trying to have his cake and eat it too because it’s something he’d only do with someone he’s dating and sometimes he does it and it’s like 30% unconscious and that wigs him out
so obviously the answer is that we (essentially) stop touching and that could be that but i’m dumb and i want to double check so i ask if it’s because he doesn’t want us to date and he says yeah, us dating really isn’t in his plan and sorry if that’s hurtful, and i could also leave it there but i’m like, a super masochist and i like being on the same page with people so i tell him that us dating has been a possibility on my mind and that i’d like to take a few days to like back off and firmly tell myself that we aren’t dating and we won’t be dating and to chill tf out, but i wanted to let him know that’s what i’m doing so i’m not like, backing out of being friends
and we’re both miserable for a week, bc when i try to go back to business as usual he’s acting weird and distant and my immediate assumption is that he decided that i am, in fact, a creep and he no longer wants to be friends with me but dammit, he could at least tell me that instead of looking sad and distant and not talking to me unless it’s band related
so i give him a couple days of that, and we do a campus scavenger hunt together because we had signed up for it before everything crashed on us and we were going to pretend everything is fine, god dammit, except it was awkward and he was sad the whole time and i was hurt and frustrated, but we won like 5th place or something so that was cool
and once the weekend’s over i text him something vaguely along the lines of “so are we still friends or nah” and he tells me he’s been isolating himself and he feels like everyone is better off without him and he needs to stop holding me back and nobody needs him so he should just let us all go. like he’s not suicidal but he’s depressed and bad at realizing people like him. so i go to the apartment and for the first time in like six months i knock on the door because i told him i was coming over but i also feel like he has a right to yell at me to go away through the door if that’s what he’s feeling
but he lets me in and he tells me he should just get out of my way because i don’t need him and i tell him that he’s right, i don’t need anyone. this isn’t about need. but i sure as hell enjoy having him as a friend and i’ve been miserable this past week when that was taken away from me, and he just told me he’s been miserable too, so why the fuck should we both be miserable when we could just stop being dumb and be friends again
but also now we’re both miserable (for external reasons, mostly) and i don’t want to stop hanging out so much because i feel like we both need it, but i also need to stop because it doesn’t seem to bother him but it sure as hell has me confused because i can’t stop thinking that we might as well be dating but if we were dating then i’d actually get to hug him and cuddle and tell him i love him
and i feel like he doesn’t really have other people to hang out with and i don’t really feel like i have that either and maybe that’s all the more reason for us to back off a little bit more but i don’t want to. i’m very weak and tired and i just want someone to hug me for 30 minutes and it’s not going to be him and i don’t think it’s going to be anyone rn so i’m just constantly sad and in need of a hug that will never come
i think i need to have another good sob session on someone but i’m fresh out of people that i’m comfortable doing that to, both in the sense that i don’t want to be vulnerable enough to cry on anyone and that the one person i would be willing to do that to is someone who doesn’t need to hear all about how i can’t get the fuck over him
#me#asexuality#demisexuality?#dating#any advice is v welcome#my plan rn is to get drunk with his roommate#but yknow#saying that outloud makes me realize how not-good of a plan that is#so maybe i'll just sad post in my room and cry on my homework#this is missing a lot of details obviously#especially for the current situation/atmosphere#tbh i just want to scream into the cold dark night then wrap myself up in a blanket and drink some tea and read a good book#but i! dont! have! the time!! to read for fun!!!#i shouldn't have spent 2 hours writing this post!!!
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1-70 I want to know it all in great detail
I see, the key to getting asks is to passive-aggressively tag your friends.
01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Anyone who has ever known me in real life knows I absolutely do not. I have an alcoholic, compulsive liar for a mother and an absent father, plus some grandparents who are so convinced that they are my actual parents that they would probably kick me out if they learned I refer to them as my grandparents. Fun times.
02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?
Either my dog or yours lol. I don’t like telling people I love them. That’s something to be shown through your actions, otherwise the word loses its meaning.
03: Do you regret anything?
I don’t even know where to start with this one. I’ve regretted basically every major decision I’ve made, and I probably shouldn’t be allowed to think for myself. If I had to name a few things that I regret right now, I would say I regret spending my spring break being so bitter. I really did have a good time, but I would have enjoyed myself more if I hadn’t tried to make it about me. My other big regret at the moment is cancelling my campus residence app. I screwed myself out of a guaranteed place and now I’m stuck with a bunch of drama and uncertainty. Also, there’s a friend that I’ve had for years and there were times when I was pretty horrible to her and she stuck with me despite it. I wish I had been mature enough at the time to be the person she needed in her life, instead of causing drama.
04: Are you insecure?
Extremely. I have a lot of insecurities about my body, mostly my face and hair, but a lot of my family in underweight and it was kind of instilled in me, that to be attractive I had to be underweight, like I remember when I started high school I made it a goal to stay below 110lbs until after graduation. I was still growing so that goal was as unrealistic as it was unhealthy. I’ve struggled with disordered eating since I was like 12. Other than that I can be really insecure about asking for the things I want and need. One of my biggest fears is people seeing me as selfish.
05: What is your relationship status?
I’m a single Pringle! I was in a relationship for a few months, but I got dumped because I consistently put my friends before her, which is funny because I’m in the middle of some conflicts with friends over not talking with them enough. I’ve been on a few dates and stuff since then, but I’m in a bad place right now mental health wise, so being single is probably for the best rn.
06: How do you want to die?
This is kind of dark, but I don’t really care how I die as long as I’m in control of how it happens. If there’s a really wild and interesting story involved that would be even better.
07: What did you last eat?
I’m munching on some green chili peanuts with a crap ton of Diet Coke. I’m at home right now so I’ve been eating way more than usual.
08: Played any sports?
I used to do ballet, gymnastics, contemporary and jazz, as well as various ballroom dances. I’ve blocked most of it out and lost a lot of my flexibility, but I would love to return to ballet at some point. I miss gymnastics too, but I’m too tall for it lol.
09: Do you bite your nails?
I’ve always been weirdly prideful of my nails and the thought of biting them has always freaked me out, like my nails are my babies. Keeping them nice is a big deal to me so my chompers can stay the hell away lmao
10: When was your last physical fight?
I’ve never actually been in a physical fight. The closest encounters were last semester, when my old roommate got a concussion from a crazy person that used to live with us, and a few years ago when I let a friend slap me.
11: Do you like someone?
I’m assuming this means like like. I’m not super interested in dating right now, but there have been people that have sparked my interest recently.
12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?
I am smol and weak. My fragile shell of a body would actually start to disintegrate if I tried this. I’ve only made it to 24hrs once and my body like completely shut down.
13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?
I don’t like using the word hate for the same reasons I don’t like using the word love. There are people that I will not associate myself with and there are people in my life that I don’t feel any positive emotions towards, but there isn’t anyone that I could comfortably say I hate.
14: Do you miss someone?
There are a lot of people from my life a few years back that I really miss, but I have to remind myself that I was a different person then, and some bonds are meant to be broken. I also really miss a lot of the friends I have at school. I take them for granted until we’re apart and then I feel all hallow, like part of me left too and that really sucks.
15: Have any pets?
I have a Chihuahua-weiner mix. He’s super old and he doesn’t have a tail and his name is Bob. He’s great. My aunt’s dog is basically my dog too, and he’s a pit mix. His name is Chester and he is actually a giant teddy bear. My friends have a doggo too, her name is Gwen and I am her aunt. She is the most talented and amazing fluffer who deserves the world.
16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?
I’m at that weirdly numb point right now where emotions are like a foreign concept to me. I’ve been super stressed and I have a lot of pretty serious decisions at the back of my mind that I can do nothing about at the moment. I’m super behind on my schoolwork and with all this stress, I know I can’t catch up. It’s super frustrating and there’s been a lot of drama amongst my friend group, making me feel like I can’t really trust anyone in my life right now. My age has been preventing me from doing so much recently and since my birthday is around the corner, even the people who claim to understand have been super condescending about my anger over it. There have also been a lot of deaths recently in the city where I go to school, and I’ve learned that death is a bit of a trigger for me, so that hasn’t been fun. I feel like I’m one serious breakdown from being there myself and that’s super scary.
17: Ever made out in the bathroom?
Somehow, no.
18: Are you scared of spiders?
When I was little I was really afraid of spiders and would go out of my way to have them killed. I had intense breakdowns whenever I thought a web touched me. Now, I regret having hurt innocent creatures and I think spiders are really cool. Leave the land crabs alone!
19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Yeah, knowing what I know now, I think that it would be cool to try and get myself to the point where I am now, but without a lot of the drama.
20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?
My dorm room lol.
21: What are your plans for this weekend?
I’m taking a greyhound back to my college town on Saturday, and Sunday I’m returning to my normal schedule. I’m not looking forward to that eight hour bus ride.
22: Do you want to have kids? How many?
I’m kind of a lone wolf, and I really want to travel so kinds aren’t really in the picture, at least not until I’ve gotten my doctorate. Even then I would either adopt or use a donor, and I wouldn’t have more than two.
23: Do you have piercings? How many?
Right now only my ears are pierced, but I plan on getting my septum done in May, followed by a double medusa. I also really want dimples and a brow done. Eventually I’d do my nipples and stomach as well.
24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?
I’ve always been geared toward the liberal arts. I love all things involving art, history, and languages. I low-key have always enjoyed math too. I’m working on my bachelors in comparative cultural studies with minors in queer studies and museum studies. I want to carry that on to a masters in gender studies and a phd in Buddhist art. After that I’d like to go back to school fo economics and eventually obtain a masters in economic history.
25: Do you miss anyone from your past?
I miss people from my past when I’m unsatisfied with the people currently in my life. I have to remind myself that they aren’t around anymore for a reason and that it’s more important to work on the relationships that are relevant. Dwelling on the past does more harm than good.
26: What are you craving right now?
Some love and affection? I’m not craving anything really. I could just use some peace and quiet.
27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
Yes. I’ve broken an ex’s heart when I ended the relationship. I was unhappy, to the point where I cheated. This was also the point when I started to question if I was actually a lesbian. I dumped him and never told him why. I broke my friend’s heart when I led her on, but then rejected her because I was in love with someone else (who did something similar to me). I broke my aunt’s heart when I told her I felt like I don’t have a family. I broke my biological mother’s heart when I made it clear that I didn’t want her in my life. I’m pretty good at the whole hurting others thing.
28: Have you ever been cheated on?
It’s very possible, but if someone did, they never told me.
29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
I can’t name a specific time, but I’m sure it’s happened.
30: What’s irritating you right now?
What isn’t irritating me right now? Oh my god.
31: Does somebody love you?
I’ve had a lot of people tell me they do, but I have a hard time feeling it most of the time.
32: What is your favourite color?
I love every color, and I don’t like making colors feel left out, so my favorite changes a lot. Right now it’s yellow, because yellow is a bright, warm, happy color. I also really like pink. The pastels of both of those are 10/10
33: Do you have trust issues?
I legit don’t even trust myself. The only person I honestly trust 100% is my aunt. I have really bad trust issues, but I also overshare a ton. My life is a cycle of sharing my life story and then panicking.
34: Who/what was your last dream about?
The other night I went to sleep while drunk and I had this wild dream where I met someone, learned his whole life story, flirted and eventually fell in love with him, came out to him, saying I’m not sexually attracted to guys (he came out as ace too so it was perf), and then he was hit by a car, causing irreparable brain damage. I woke up right after, but that dream will haunt me.
35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?
My aunt. I was updating her on my life in college, and it’s been less than ideal.
36: Do you give out second chances too easily?
I’m a huge believer of forgive but don’t forget. I used to be so bad about grudges that I would be angry even after forgetting what I was upset about. I guess I have the opposite issue here.
37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Forgive. Like I said above, I might forgive you, but knowing what someone did before will always leaving me searching for instances of them doing it again. Trust issues who?
38: Is this year the best year of your life?
It’s only March and I already know that it will be one of the worst years of my life. Ugh.
39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?
I think I was thirteen. I didn’t know how I felt about guys at the time and I almost puked in that poor dude’s mouth.
40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
I have, and it was terrifying. Midday skinny dipping wasn’t one of my greatest ideas.
51: Favourite food?
Avocado on toast with a poached egg on top, muffuletta, yellow curry, and eggs benedict are my top ones.
52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
Absolutely. I didn’t really believe this until my roommate’s big fight last year. So much happened in one night, that wouldn’t have happened if we had done things even a second later. It was wild, but it was like there was so much pent up negative energy that the universe needed to release, and it found a way to make that happen.
53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
I put some food away.
54: Is cheating ever okay?
The thing about cheating is that it’s when you go out of your way to do something with someone else when you know it would hurt your current partner. It’s something that happens when you aren’t happy in your relationship, and in a lot of cases it can be a cry for help. It is hurtful and a sign that a relationship isn’t meant to be, but cheaters shouldn’t always be villainized.
55: Are you mean?
I can be, but I try not to.
56: How many people have you fist fought?
None, lol
57: Do you believe in true love?
Not really. There are so many people that we have things in common with or who exist on the same wavelength. We might find someone that makes us happy for a long while, but nothing is permanent.
58: Favourite weather?
I love hot, sunny days when you can leave windows open, wear shorts, and only drink things with ice.
59: Do you like the snow?
I lived in Alaska for over nine years before moving to the Sonoran desert. I moved to Northern Arizona for school, and when I saw snow again, it was as an adult who only saw the negative aspects of it. I hate being cold.
60: Do you wanna get married?
I don’t see myself ever being married. I would have to really love someone if I were to actually settle down and start a life with them. Right now I really only see it as something that would tie me down.
61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
I honestly hate baby as a pet name. It freaks me out. The only pet names I find cute are the unusual ones, like once when an ex accidentally called me cornbread.
62: What makes you happy?
Getting my nails done, binging my favorite show (Archer), travel, doggos, wandering around in stores with my music blasting so I can feel like I’m somewhere away from my problems, seeing people impressed with food I made, completing a project and being proud of my work, etc.
63: Would you change your name?
I hate my birth name, but I’m also afraid I’ve been conditioned to feel that way by my grandparents as a way to attack my bio mom. Because of that, I’ve been going by my middle name and various nicknames. Most people close to me call me Abby, but my favorite thing is to be called Lynn. I’m pretty hesitant to legally change it though.
64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
Yeah, the last person I kissed kinda sexually assaulted me, and I’d like to avoid that.
65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
Reject them as nicely as possible. Dating would be bad for me right now, and I’m pretty sure I’m not sexually attracted to men.
66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
I don’t think I have a best friend, period. I don’t think I’m entirely myself around anyone through. Different people will bring out different parts of my personality.
67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
Not sure tbh.
68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
My aunt. The conversation we had about my life at school was pretty emotional.
69: Do you believe in soulmates?
No, for the same reason I don’t believe in true love. Life is too impermanent for there to be someone our soul fits with perfectly. There is too much change for something to be predetermined like that.
70: Is there anyone you would die for?
Anyone who has ever been somewhat nice too me. Honestly though I would be willing to die for a lot of people. The thought of anyone else having to suffer really sucks and if I can save them from that, I would.
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I need to rant. Sorry for no read more and massive wall of text but I’m on mobile and I just need to vent rn.
I love him, I really do, but my boyfriend has honestly just been annoying me this week and I need to just get it off my chest and hopefully it will help my mood a little bit because I’m in a big one.
So first thing, we watch game of thrones together, we both absolutely love it and we’ve been so excited for this season. Yesterday, he watched the last 35 minutes of the newest episode without me and then kept saying how good it was. I had previously told him about my sister’s boyfriend who did a very similar thing and his response to that was basically what an asshole, that’s a horrible thing to do. And he did say he did a horrible, awful thing before he told me but it still really pissed me off.
Last night, he went out with his friends and just before I went to bed he said he’s decided to go out out, as in to clubs and whatnot. He ended up getting home after 4am and was apparently so drunk his roommate had to help him to bed. Even after that he’s been driving today which I’m not happy about as it’s like the third time recently where he’s gotten very drunk the night before and then driven the next day when he really shouldn’t be.
I’ve been having financial issues because of my work situation so I’ve been trying pretty hard to get something else sorted for myself. Some things have come up and I’ve told him about everything in detail, and I understand it might be a lot to take in, but I was speaking to him earlier today about updates and he basically kept asking me questions that I already answered before and like he had no idea what I was speaking about? It just frustrated me because I was repeating myself and telling him things I’ve already told him but it’s like he just doesn’t take any of it in.
I’m doing a temporary job today and am near where he lives so I suggested we meet up and go to lunch together as I had an hour and he wasn’t starting work until a couple of hours later. He said no because he was meeting his grandad, which is fair enough but it still bummed me out a little considering we won’t see each other until Saturday night otherwise.
He’s also looking for better employment and has recently had an opportunity come up for an apprenticeship position doing exactly what he wants to do and it would be perfect for him. He had an interview with them yesterday morning and it went really well and they want to see him again for a presentation tomorrow morning. He hasn’t even started on the presentation yet and he’s at work until 7pm tonight. Like, he could’ve at least started on it today but nope. He’s really excited and hopeful about this opportunity so I thought he would be putting in loads of effort to make sure he gets it. And I suppose he can still put loads of effort into it tonight but it just feels like he’s leaving it so last minute?
He told me earlier on today that he’s been invited to go on holiday with some people from work next year to magaluf. He’s also going to New York with his family for a holiday next year for 2 weeks and I’ve been told it’s family only so I can’t go. Which I understand, but it’s still a bit of a blow to hear. But anyway, because he’s decided to go to that, we discussed that we would go on our own little holiday that would be less expensive. Originally we were planning on going to South Korea but since he decided to go to new York, he wouldn’t be able to afford both. Which was fine with me, I really wasn’t bothered at all. But then this magaluf trip comes up, so I mention he’s going to be going on holiday 3 times next year to which he replies basically saying what 3rd holiday? And this goes back to my previous point about him not taking in things that we talk about and I have to repeat myself or he says we never talked about that. So I bring up that we’re supposed to go on holiday together and he again basically implies we never talked about that and that if we’re living together then (which we have talked about) then it might be a struggle to pay for that. Sorry but we talked about a holiday together before this magaluf thing so surely that should be more financially important?? It’s like it didn’t even enter his mind that we would go on holiday together next year. I also need to ask who’s going on this trip because there’s a certain girl who I have issues with (not personally I guess but because of things they have spoken about together and previously done) that I wouldn’t feel comfortable with being on a trip together. Especially a holiday like magaluf where they all with basically be drunk the whole time. I do trust him but I’m just not comfortable with that at all. And let’s be honest, I’m jealous. Like I absolutely know I am but I don’t know how to change that feeling?
To top it off, I just said to him that the first thing I’m going to do when I get home tonight is take a nap and he just laughed at me. I don’t know really know why that would be funny. Considering I got up at 5am, had to travel over an hour, and had the stress of starting a new job (yes its just for one day but my anxiety was spiking about having to meet new people, drive somewhere new and do something I haven’t done before). So I’m pretty exhausted and I still have another hour to go.
I haven’t said anything to him since then and honestly I do think I just need a good sleep, a rest and to actually speak to him in person and because I’m just. Ugh I’m stressed and frustrated and tired and it feels like he doesn’t listen to me or sometimes even think about me (regarding the holiday thing) and im
Yeah idk. I guess I feel a little better? Not really lmao. I just want to get home and go to my bed
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I was tagged by @bbyjoonbug (hi roo!!!) i was totally supposed to post this yesterday but then i answered half the questions n forgot about it so..,, uh here it is;;
am i supposed to tag people idkman i havenofriends
THE LAST:
1. drink: water
2. phone call: mom
3. text message: my best friend
4. song you listened to: some kinda jpop song my dad was listening to in the car lmao
5. time you cried: a few nights ago bc bon voyage
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice: no
7. kissed someone and regretted it: no
8. been cheated on: no
9. lost someone special: yes
10. been depressed: no
11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no
LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:
12-14. blue, purple, green? i never had a third favorite color lol
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. made new friends: yes
16. fallen out of love: no
17. laughed until you cried: yes
18. found out someone was talking about you: .yes
19. met someone who changed you: yes
20. found out who your friends are: yes? i guess
21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: no
GENERAL:
22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: maybe 95%? lol
23. do you have any pets: no :( i used to!! i love animals i want all of them <33
24. do you want to change your name: mmm.. no im good my name has good meanings n i'm happy w/ it
25. what did you do for your last birthday: this is gonna sound rlly sad but i just sat in my dorm and ate ice cream w/ my roommates lmao
26. what time did you wake up: 11:48am? around that time
27. what were you doing at midnight last night: uh;; feeling emotional bc of the love yourself video
28. name something you can’t wait for: ..nothing exciting is happening in my life rn?? i think another love yourself video is dropping soon so probably just that
29. when was the last time you saw your mom: 5 mins ago
30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: myself live closer to my friends so i can meet them more often
31. what are you listening to right now: the sound of the trees rustling in the breeze //wow so poetic aka im listening to nothing//
32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: who’s tom
33. something that is getting on your nerves: my apt has thin walls / really echo-y surroundings and i can hear my neighbors coughing / sneezing / doing their laundry / beating up their children
34. most visited website: youtube
38. hair color: dark brown
39. long or short hair: long
40. do you have a crush on someone: not rn
41. what do you like about yourself: i’ll get back to you when i figure this out lmao
42. piercings: none i keep putting off getting my ears pierced
43. blood type: B+ or B smt idk (i feel like im talking about my grades lmao)
44. nickname: any variation of having the either one of the syllables of my name repeated
45. relationship status: single (forever)
46. zodiac: virgo
47. pronouns: she/her
48. favorite tv show: brooklyn nine-nine,, tbh i watch a bunch but i don’t really have a fave
49. tattoos: none
50. right or left handed: right handed
51. surgery: none
52. piercing: none
53. sport: sitting down lmao i suck @ sports
55. vacation: honestly anywhere as long as i’m w/ friends or family it’s good enough for me
56. pair of trainers: ?? do i describe them or;; dark blue w/ orange accents (what is this question)
MORE GENERAL
57. eating: had noodles for dinner
58. drinking: water
59. i’m about to: experiment w/ digital art
61. waiting for: me to get my life together
62. want: a dog or a cat i need companionship (loveme)
63. get married: eventually
64. career: i’ve wanted to be a vet for the longest time,,,, still do but tbh idk if it’s the right thing for me or if it’s practical? i’m really indecisive and bad at making long term plans so... we’ll see
WHICH IS BETTER
65. hugs or kisses: hugs
66. lips or eyes: eyes
67. shorter or taller: no preference (but most people are taller than me so,,)
68. older or younger: older- it’s more of a maturity thing for me
70. nice arms or nice stomach: no preference
71. sensitive or loud: sensitive
72. hook up or relationship: relationship
73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant?? what is the context anyway,,,
HAVE YOU EVER:
74. kissed a stranger: no
75. drank hard liquor: no
76. lost glasses/contact lenses: no lol i take v good care of them
77. turned someone down: no.. (does it count if i never saw their confession until like.. a few months later,,,)
78. sex on the first date: no,,,
79. broken someone’s heart: i don’t think so???
80. had your heart broken: . no?
81. been arrested: no
82. cried when someone died: yes ofc
83. fallen for a friend: ..yes
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
84. yourself: depends on what i’m doing lol
85. miracles: yes? to some extent i guess
86. love at first sight: not really
87. santa claus: no
88. kiss on the first date: sure? if both sides r willing
89. angels: no
OTHER:
90. current best friend’s name: Phoebe <3
91. eye color: dark brown
92. favorite movie: i don’t really watch movies that often.. but Princess Mononoke comes to mind if animated films count
#personal#what is this tag called#92 questions tag#idek#i was gna post this but then#the love yourself video#;;; now that it's over
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Black [M]
A/N: hey all, this is my first fic on tumblr. i went with dean and i have a lot of plans for this fic so please so support it ;( i’m sorry if my writing sucks im terrible i know but ive just had this idea in my head for a while so i wanted to put it somewhere. i’m most likely gonna continue it even if ppl dont read it bc i kinda wanna finish it lol. but yeah if you like it pls tell me :) any comments are very much welcomed! btw it starts off boring but i wanted a nice& clear background. i promise it will get better!
characters: dean x oc, zico, crush, rome
genre: angst(ish?), university au
rated: m, alcoholism, stoners(lol), violence, abuse.
chapter one:
“nayeon!” I dropped the box full of school supplies as I ran to my roommate whom I hadn’t seen all summer. she replied with equal excitement as we hugged each other. we had just moved into a new place for the year and we were both anxious to set up our cute little house. our other two roommates had already arrived and I was the last one, what’s new.
“I missed you!” she cheerfully exclaimed.
“I missed you too!” I replied as I reached down, picking up the box I had dropped.
“come in we have to talk about tonight’s plans!”
she helped me finish carrying the rest of my stuff upstairs, and after sochi had helped me put my room together my phone dinged. I flopped onto my bed and grabbed it. I hadn’t noticed how much the 8 hour drive had exhausted me.
Apt D group chat-
Nayeon: be ready by 10! we all were invited to a sig nu party tonight at 10! we should leave around 10 or 10:30 just to make sure we get there when there’s already people there! school hasn’t started so welcome weekend is about to be crazy!
Sochi: it’s almost 9!! I’m going to get ready rn
Chaeyeon: omg ;( i really want to go but I am so tired from the drive
Nayeon: come out! It’ll be fun
Chaeyeon: tomorrow! tonight I’m just gonna stay in and sleep
Jisu: i just woke up from a nap so i’m down! rest a lot chae!
Chaeyeon: I will, have fun and be safe guys ❤
Sochi: we will bb ❤
and with that I got comfortable in bed, I was so exhausted that I didn’t care that I was still in my jeans and a long t shirt. I heard the girls getting ready to leave before I dozed off completely.
a mixture of screams and melodies woke me up. I was still as tired as ever. I picked up my phone and took a look. it was only 12am. the walls gently vibrated and with every second that passed I became more irritated. the loud music seemed to be coming from the other side of our apartment but when I got up, not surprised, no one was home. I walked into sochi’s room and peaked out her window. a dozen or so people were on our lawn.
“what the hell” I whispered to myself as I saw cans being dropped left and right. my anger grew more and more as i looked around the lawn. a bottle here a can there and…was that puke?
my mouth dropped slightly at the sight and I stormed down the stairs. I swung open the front door, startling a few people in the process. my little legs couldn’t go fast enough to keep up with my anger. within seconds I was in a familiar yet different place. this apartment was a mirror image of ours. everything was the same but on different sides. I looked around before I was grabbed and pulled back.
“what the fu-“
“private party, who do you know?”
I looked up to see a tall, dark haired guy. his eyebrows were thick and his lips were plump but all I could focus on was how much I wanted to hit him.
“I live across in apt d, is this your place?!”
“look, I don’t care where you live, who do you know?”
“what the fuck I don’t want to get into your stupid party!”
“you sure about that?”
“yes I’m fucking sure can you just turn your damn music down? people might be doing something crazy in the middle of the night, like sleeping!” he was amused by my response. his lips curled into a smug smile and he extended his hand.
“I’m zico” he said. I looked at the hand before me then back at him.
“can you just please turn it down and get your people away from our lawn?!”
“woah woah what’s going on? all the yelling above this good ass music? I don’t think so…. who’s this?” another tall guy holding a red cup came closer and he gestured at me as he looked towards zico. he, like zico, had dark hair but he also had a tattoo splattered across the side of his neck that reached down into his shirt. his scent was strong and hit me instantly. he smelled sweet, masked in the familiar scent weed mixed with alcohol. if it wasn’t for the smell of…well college, he would have smelled like heaven.
“she’s our new neighbor and she’s cute but she’s here to complain not to party with me” zico responded, scoffing as he took the red cup from his friend, chugging the last bit of liquid before walking off. I ignored him and looked at the guy before me.
“is this your place? turn it down it’s loud as fuck.” my eyes rolled slightly and my voice had given off an irritated tone. I pushed my way through the crowd and back out the front door and for the second time that night, my arm was grabbed and I was yanked back.
“what the hel-“ it was the guy I had just yelled at.
“what’s your name?” he blurted out and the smell of alcohol filled the air between us. I looked up at him, his hair layed in a simple curl above his left eyebrow and his eyes were glistening and red.
“chayeon” I replied as I lightly tugged my arm away from him. he quickly let go.
“sorry, about that…and the noise. we aren’t usually that loud but it’s our roommate, hyoseob’s birthday.” he was drunk and high, I could tell, but he kept himself so collected. if it wasn’t for his scent or his eyes I would assume he was sober. his cheeks were rosy and flushed like a child’s.
“take a picture, it’ll last longer” he blurted out. fuck, I didn’t even notice that I had been staring at him.
“can you just turn it down a bit please?” I replied, attempting to contain myself from showing embarrassment.
“maybe I should take a picture of you instead? it’d be nice to look at your face everyday” he disregarded my words but damn, that was unexpected and it was difficult to retain my cheeks from flushing.
“yeah sure, anyways, I’m tired so by-“
“hey tired, I’m dean” he extended his hand, his lips curled into the cheesiest smile and a small chuckle escaped his lips. he had been proud of the stupid dad joke he just made.
it took a second for me to look away from him, but i took his hand and gave it a light shake.
“nice to meet you, dean”
“it’s way nicer to meet you chaeyeon” our eyes met as he gave my hand a gentle squeeze, his lips had formed a perfect smile and for a second I was so infatuated with him that I had momentarily forgotten why I came out in the first place.
“why don’t you stay. come inside, have some fun” he had noticed that I was intrigued by him and he purposely teased.
“no thanks” he was amused by my quick response but before he could reply we were interrupted.
“dean? come back inside babe!” a girl swung open the front door and the music escaped. she had shoulder length dark hair and pale skin with huge lips. her body was slim but she was tall, at least taller than me. she had a prominent hourglass figure and god she was pretty.
dean didn’t take his eyes off me as i analyzed the girl at the door. his eyes were glued on me and when i looked back at him he smirked, amused by my reaction.
“coming” he replied, his eyes still on me.
“well goodnight, I’ll see you tomorrow”
“tomorrow?” i asked.
“I live 10 feet away from you so unless you’re planning on avoiding me we will probably run into each often”
“right..” my lips flattened into an awkward smile, as I heard the girl call his name yet again in a whiny manner. i walked back into my house and I felt his eyes on me until the moment I closed the door behind me. I watched through the peep hole as dean went back in, taking the girl’s hand into his and shutting the door behind them. I turned my back to the door and pulled my phone out. as I was about to start texting I was knocked over by the door.
“chae!” jisu ran to me as I got up, rubbing my elbow.
“chae are you okay? I didn’t know you were there I’m sorry!” nayeon exclaimed and I chuckled, nudging jisu to let go of me.
“I’m fine, it’s not your fault don’t worry” for the second time that night, alcohol filled the air surrounding me. sochi and nayeon burst into laughter as soon as they saw that I was fine.
“ha ha so funny guys” I cracked a smile and rolled my eyes playfully.
“what the hell were you doing there?” nayeon barely managed to say, her laughs conquering her.
“nothing! I was just looking at how nasty the lawn looks now” my words paused the laughter filling the room and jisu walked over to the window, peeping through.
“they’re having fun tonight, but our lawn looks like crap now” she sighed, irritated. I could tell she was sober, as she usually was when we went out.
“we’ll beat them up tomorrow” sochi said as she took my hand and nayeon’s, dragging us upstairs.
“come on jisu! MOVIE NIGHT!” she yelled.
“shut up” I laughed, pushing her towards her room and she whined, mumbling to herself.
“I’m going to bed, night all” nayeon said as she stumbled into her room, jisu following behind to help her.
“I got nayeon, you got sochi?” I nodded in response as I walked into sochi’s room only to find her on the floor mumbling yet again.
“c’mon let’s get you in your pj’s and ready for bed” I grabbed her pj’s from a drawer, tossing them to her as she got up.
“can you close my window please, they’re loud” I went over to the window, taking a look before closing it. something near the bushes caught my eye. a tall light haired guy was outside making out with some girl. her short dark hair and tall, curvy frame were barely familiar but I was almost certain it was the girl who called dean back in earlier. it wasn’t very long before kissing turned to other stuff. there were tons of people on the lawn but I doubt anyone was sober enough to see them.
“chae?” I closed the window and the blinds, walking over to sochi.
“what’s up?”
“why were you staring out the window weirdo”
I rolled my eyes playfully and pushed her onto her bed.
“shut up and go to sleep”
“yes mom!”
I turned her light off and closed the door. once I entered my room I fell into bed, thinking about what happened in the span of only 40 minutes. was that dean’s girlfriend? did I just witness her cheating on him? why the fuck am I even thinking about this I literally met him half an hour ago. I tried to clear my head of the useless things I had been questioning and I eventually fell asleep.
the next morning I had gotten up early and went to the gym. thankfully it was early enough that everyone was still asleep. when I returned home I saw zico outside, removing all the cans and cups from our lawn. I hopped out of the car and walked towards him, from the looks of it he had been at it for a while because the lawn was almost spotless.
“oh, hi! I’m zico, sorry about the mess” he pressed his lips together and embarrassment flushed his face. I curled my lips into an amused smile, an unintentional laugh escaped and confusion crossed his face.
“you don’t remember meeting me last night?” his eyes wandered, trying to remember.
“no..sorry. I’m sober zico and I’m sorry if drunk zico said or did anything dumb last night. I hope it wasn’t a bad first impression”
“it’s alright, drunk zico met mad, sleep deprived chaeyeon so tell him she’s sorry for her attitude”
he smiled, relieved to find out he hadn’t done anything too stupid. I reached down and grabbed a couple cans, helping him pick up. the front door swung open from behind me and out came dean with the same girl from last night. her hair was messed up and her makeup was smeared but she still looked extremely pretty. dean’s hair wasn’t any better and he was carrying a pair of heels in one hand and car keys in the other. by the look on his face it was obvious that he wasn’t expecting to see me.
“dean! this is chae-“
“chaeyeon” dean finished the sentence for zico and the girl with him glanced at dean then at me and back at him.
“I remember you from last night” he nodded slightly and gestured toward the person next to him.
“this is heoyang, my girlfriend” he gently pushed her in my direction and she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before extending her hand to me.
“hi it’s nice to meet you, we’ll most likely be seeing each other often” I took her hand and forced a smile.
“yeah, for sure” there was a moment of awkward silence. all I was thinking about was what I saw last night. this was none of my business but if I was in dean’s position I would want someone to tell me, but again, I’m not dean and I don’t even know him.
dean cleared his throat and walked closer to heoyang.
“I’ll be back soon I’m going to go drop her off” he looked at zico before he headed off toward a very expensive looking sports car with heoyang wrapped around his arm. once the car drove off zico looked at me, eyes squinting.
“what?”
“what happened with you and dean? he never acts so awkward in front of people” I shrugged and tossed him a can, walking towards my front door.
“maybe it’s because I just met him last night? I don’t know” zico stopped me before I closed the door behind me.
“hold up, we’re having a bbq in a couple of hours, you should join us and maybe your roommates too so we could all meet”
“yeah, sure, I’ll tell them right now” I smiled at zico. I liked him and I could tell we would vibe off each other really well. I walked in and the girls were all eating breakfast despite it being close to 12PM.
“chae come eat” jisu pointed to the empty place on the table with her fork that had a waffle on the end. I shaked my head and went into the kitchen to refill my water bottle.
“I grabbed a sandwich on my way home, thanks. by the way are you guys busy today? the neighbors invited us over for a bbq a little later” I walked back to the table, taking a seat and stealing a slice of banana from nayeon’s plate.
“no, I don’t have anything to do today. are they cute at least?” I smacked sochi’s shoulder and she rubbed it.
“I’ve only met two of them. One has a girlfriend and the other…well yeah he’s cute. not my type but he is good looking”
“nice, I’m there already” nayeon blurted out. I rolled my eyes playfully and made my way up to my room.
“I’m going to shower and get ready”
after I had showered I changed into a pair of light jean shorts and a racerback mustard tank top that exposed just a tad of midriff. I laid my hair down and put on some makeup. I loved makeup but I wasn’t very good at it so most of the time I avoided eyeshadow. lashes, liner and eyebrows were always a must oh and of course a nice highlight. it was now around 3PM and the girls were still getting ready as well.
there was a loud knock on the front door and I grabbed my phone, slipping it into my pocket before I went downstairs to open the door. it was zico. he looked..cleaner. his tank top exposed his toned arms, nice view.
“hey the food is almost ready, come out!” I nodded and called out for the rest of the girls. they came almost immediately which was unusual but since this involved guys they were all for it.
“sochi, nayeon, jisu, this is zico” they all exchanged hello’s and handshakes. we all followed zico out to his lawn where there were two picnic tables with the grill next to it. not to my surprise dean and heoyang were on one table eating and two other guys were sitting next to them. they got up once they spotted us and introduced themselves. hyoseob, who requested we call him crush because he “crushes hearts”, christain, and of course dean and heoyang. we all took a seat on the empty table and zico brought us burgers and chips. zico sat with us and soon crush and christain joined us too. we conversed, exchanging majors and where we were from. turns out zico and sochi lived in the same city but attended different high schools. they began to get along really well and exchanged numbers, social media etc.
while they were talking, dean had left for a bit to take heoyang home. once he returned the sun was beginning to set. he took a seat next to me, nayeon and jisu looked at me before returning to their conversation with the other two boys.
“hey so about last night"
“what about last night?” i said
“i tend to get flirty when i’m drunk, so sorry about that. don’t get it wrong i’m a loyal guy”
you might be loyal but she isn’t.
“it’s fine i didn’t think much of it anyways"
"yeah but still..” i patted his shoulder and grinned.
“don’t worry, i get it. my lips are sealed. i won’t tell your girl that you want a picture of me to look at everyday"
he dropped his mouth slightly but with a smile. he chuckled in relief and passed me his phone.
"how about i take your number instead of your picture. i heard you say you’re a chemistry major and i could use a lot of help with my chem class this semester. i’m a physics major"
"aren’t physics people really good at chemistry?"
"not this one” he joked. i took his phone anyways and inserted my digits.
“i charge $20 an hour on weekdays and $25 an hour on weekends but for you, there’s a special, i’ll charge you $25 whether it’s weekday or weekend"
"wow what an amazing deal, i can’t refuse that” he laughed at my dumb joke and took his phone back.
“so why did heoyang leave so soon? it’s only 5:30” wow did i really ask that.
“uh she said she wasn’t feeling very well”
“oh well i hope she gets better soon” the atmosphere was so awkward now. i fucked up, whoops. it didn’t last long, we soon got into the nerdiest conversation about science.
we began the new semester the next day and as weeks went by, I had been tutoring dean in chemistry and he had been helping me in physics. aside from our school life, we had also gotten close in terms of friendship. I learned that his favorite color was black, he had a secret crush on selena gomez, and he didn’t tell me this but it was very obvious that his family was very wealthy. he always paid for meals and was constantly buying expensive clothing. zico and sochi had begun flirting a lot and they liked hanging out with all of us as an excuse to be together so the two apartments had become good friends in a short period of time. dean, christian and I didn’t go out on the weekends as much as the others did because most of the time we were studying. over the course of the 5 weeks that flew by I had gotten a text from nayeon. she explained to me that she didn’t know what to do because she saw heoyang hooking up with some random dude at a party one night. I told her to keep it to herself but the guilt was almost choking me. I managed to keep shut and so did nayeon.
zico’s birthday was just around the corner and a party had been well planned. this time I would be enjoying it instead of yelling at them to shut up. we tried to keep it a surprise but zico figured it out quickly. the day of zico’s birthday we had a nice dinner, which dean had sponsored, and later that night the party was on. the music was blasting and people showed up out of nowhere. it was only 11PM and the whole place was packed. the scene outside the house was way too familiar and I laughed at myself at the memory.
nayeon jisu and sochi were all dancing . sochi had begun feeling those shots from earlier kick in. she was making zico’s birthday very happy. I stayed near the kitchen, sipping on my drink and watching my roommates being stupid while dancing. don’t get me wrong I was feeling those shots too but I wasn’t ready to show my wild side to zico or any of his roommates. dean had stayed with me most of the night when he wasn’t with heoyang. she kept leaving and coming back claiming her friends were texting her about drama. I could tell dean wasn’t believing it and neither was I, but he didn’t say anything to her.
it got hot in there so fast and soon enough I couldn’t stand being in a tight long sleeve.
“I’ll be right back I’m going to change, it’s super hot” dean nodded and took a sip of his drink.
“ok but come back”
“I will” I chuckled. I headed out the door and the cool air hit me. it felt so nice, I stood outside for a moment and took in the air. as I was about to open the door to my place, I heard something coming from the basketball court that was connected to our lawn. it was dark and I couldn’t see much. I was also drunk which didn’t help. I walked a little closer and the image became clearer. it was heoyang, she was pinned against the fence with her skirt up. there was a guy in front of her and I didn’t have to look long before I could figure out what was happening. I couldn’t control myself and within seconds I was filled with rage. I walked over to her faster than I’ve ever walked, or at least it felt like that. without warning I grabbed her hair and yanked it back.
“what the fuck are you doing” she pried my grip off her hair and shoved me back. I stumbled a little but managed to keep standing.
“don’t fucking touch me you little bitch” she fixed her skirt and with every second that passed my anger grew and without hesitation I splashed my drink on her and she charged at me. the guy she was with held her back and the noise we caused made tons of people come out. she was cursing at me left and right. at this point I didn’t care anymore. I shoved the guy off her and grabbed a fistful of hair, my other fist met her cheek quickly and she fought back. I managed to push her down against the cement and I busted her lip open before I was pulled off her. the same guy held heoyang back as she continued to scream at me and I looked back. dean had his arms tightly around me, preventing me from moving. his face was filled with confusion and horror.
“let go of me dean I’m going to finish what I started” I growled as I fought to slip out of his grip.
“stop! fucking stop! that’s my girlfriend for fucks sake!”
“then tell my why the fuck this is the third time I’ve seen that bitch hooking up with some other asshole?!” I yelled back at him with no prior thoughts. the crowd that had been watching went almost silent. I heard some oh shit’s from them and at that moment, I realized what I just said.
#dean#deantrbl#KwonHyuk#dean fanfic#dean kpop fanfic#oc x dean#130 mood: trbl#deanfluenza#deanfluenza fanfic#first time writing#please don't hate it#fanfic#deantheofficial#kpop#kpop fanfiction#kpop fanfic
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how jack and davey accidentally (and then not) ended up spending all their valentines days together
February 14th 2014
davey
will u hate me if i ask if ur free rn
why would i hate you
i dont want to assume
happy v day
wow jack
i’m actually on two dates right now
mrs doubtfire style
what’s up
she dumped me
on the phone
half an hour ago
come over
‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Davey led Jack through to the living room, glancing cautiously over his shoulder to try and gauge his friend’s mood.
‘No. Yeah. Not really.’ Jack slumped on the couch, clutching his paper grocery bag to his chest. Davey perched on the armrest. ‘I just. Like, I knew it wasn’t serious, whatever. But you can have a fun valentines with someone you’re not serious about! I did it all the time in middle school!’
‘Maybe she thought it was a bigger deal than it was?’
‘That’s what I tried to tell her! But you can’t try and convince a girl to go out with you when she doesn’t want to. Learnt that in middle school, too.’
‘So it’s over?’
‘I think so. She said that she got the impression we were moving too fast - which we weren’t - and she wanted to cool off.’
‘That’s not the end of the world, right?’
‘Nah. I don’t know. How many good relationships start like that?’
‘I think valentines must have just freaked her out, Jack. Happens to a lot of people.’
‘We’ll see. I’m thinking I’m maybe just a little infatuated with her, right? Talk to me in a few days and I’ll be back to normal.’
‘So tonight isn’t an I-hate-girls-bros-before-hos thing?’
‘Almost. Still want you to indulge me.’ Jack tipped up the bag on to the couch. A pint of ice cream, a six pack of beer, and a thing of chips ahoy bounced out.
‘I actually found my copy of Mrs. Doubtfire. Thought it might help.’
‘God damn it. It’s perfect.’ He grabbed the DVD from Davey and started setting it up while Davey headed into the kitchen. He called through. ‘And Dave?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Anyone asks, we both had smoking hot dates for tonight, alright? And not with each other.’
‘Got it.’
//
‘Stop hogging it, oh my god.’
‘Shut up, you’re making me miss it!’
‘You know what happens, Dave! Gimme.’ Jack grabbed the tub and triumphantly started digging out some cookie dough. Davey let him have it. They had sunk down into the couch under Davey’s comforter with a million pillows for company. Orange street light filtered through the blinds. It was only nine o clock.
‘Forgot to ask the most important question, Davey Jacobs.’ Jack poked him with the end of his spoon. ‘Why don’t you have plans tonight?’
‘Ah. Like, I kind of... I don’t know. Don’t wanna force plans just cause of the day, you know? If I had a person, that’d be great. But I don’t, so. Just another Friday!’
‘No-one caught your eye?’
‘Not really? I mean. The guy who gets my coffee at Starbucks every morning, like, we’re on semi-first name terms. But then, he wears a name badge, so. Yeah, no-one. But I don’t mind!’
‘You don’t wanna be set up or anything, right?’
‘God, no. What happens, happens. What doesn’t doesn’t.’
‘So fricken mature, Jacobs. Shame we can’t all be Race and Spot.’
‘What, fall in love after making eye contact but pretend to be casual?’
‘You know Spot made them a reservation for tonight? He made it in October.’
‘Oh, my heart. See, that’s the thing. If I found someone the way those two did, then I’d do the Valentines thing. ‘Til then I’m saving all the stress of... trying to romance someone.’
‘And you get to hang out with me.’
‘Oh yeah. How much am I getting paid for babysitting again?’
‘Funny guy, Davey. Now, listen, cuz this is important.’
‘Shoot.’
‘Do you have Aladdin?’
‘Of course I have Aladdin.’
February 14th 2015
‘And he said that going out on Valentines day felt too much like forcing something to happen. I swear to god. Can’t make eye contact with anyone whole month of February or they’ll think you’re trying to marry ‘em.’
‘So you’re not going out at all?’
‘We’re going out tomorrow. I mean. One day different! Same bar, same drink, same Jack Kelly trying to get into his pants. Just twenty four hours difference.’
‘It’s nice that you didn’t let this quirk stop you from trying to get laid.’
‘He’s still pretty much the hottest guy I know.’
‘Do you know what he’s doing tonight?’
‘I bet you anything he’s doing that kind of... the thing where you burn your ex’s underwear. Polaroids.’
‘Way less cliche than our Valentines day spent scarfing ice cream and pretending we weren’t crying over Robin Williams.’
‘God. Palentine’s day 2014. That should be a thing.’
‘That should be a thing!’
‘I mean. It’s slightly becoming a thing.’ Jack tipped out his backpack to reveal an exact duplicate of their snacks from the year before. ‘Can’t lie, Dave, I’m starting to wonder if this is better than doing real Valentines.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Not that, you know, I’m triumphant that you’ve been abandoned or anything.’
‘Oh, of course not. Your cheer on the other end of the phone said that much.’
‘When’s he back?’
‘Tomorrow.’
Davey’s Starbucks barista had turned into Davey’s something else, asking him out the day he quit the coffee shop to put his marketing degree to use. Davey, shocked that his idle daydreams about this guy who made his coffee could actually be manifested in real life, said yes.
Well, it was before his coffee, so he had actually said something like uhhwhatyeahsureyes.
And that had been eight months previous. Evan had slotted effortlessly into Davey’s life, doing the date thing, meeting his parents, weekends away, only kind of slightly stealing Davey from Jack (like that was the kind of thing Jack would notice anyway.)
Because Jack had, since the last Valentine’s day, well - he had almost become involved with a number of people. Unsure what he wanted, he went on dates, slept with people, not always in that order, flirted with girls and guys on a daily basis and even started tipping his baristas more after seeing Davey’s success - but he hadn’t found his person. That was okay, he didn’t mind. He was still a kid, in his head. He had forever to be tied down. Did miss hanging out with Davey, though.
So when Davey had phoned to say that Evan had been called away last minute for an overnight conference, it took Jack roughly two seconds to get excited about reprising their bittersweet Robin Williams carb fest from the year before. He, of course, waited before posing it, listening to Davey whine just a little about how he was going to miss Evan, before picking the right moment to tell Davey about the guy he’d asked out - the one who told him any day but Valentine’s. And so they found themselves again on Davey’s couch, illuminated by the TV, slumped in onesies, digging into some Ben and Jerry’s.
‘Got him anything good?’
‘I got him this gin he likes. Some socks. I’m... I’m thinking about giving him a key.’
‘A key?’
‘I mean, like, to my apartment. Not just a random key.’
‘You’re so fuckin... grown up.’
‘I know!’ Davey looked over at Jack, grinning. Jack was enraptured by the TV. The lion was chasing the kids through the house.
‘I really hate this part. Terrified me when I was a kid.’
‘Me too.’ Davey turned back to the screen. Between them somewhere on the comforter, his phone lit up, drawing both their attentions.
Evan Abrams facetime.
Davey looked up at Jack, who was staring at the phone. ‘Sorry, Jack. I’ll be quick, okay?’
‘Ah, you crazy kids.’ Jack picked up the cookies and paused the movie as Davey picked up the call, hurrying into the kitchen.
Things that weren’t weird: getting annoyed when your best friend’s boyfriend interrupted your Valentine’s bro date.
Even as he thought this, he had trouble believing it.
February 14th 2016
Wait -
January 20th 2016
Jack’s place. Wednesday night. Home from work. Long day. Roommate out. Slippers and Mad Men. Around nine, a knock on the door.
Davey stood, leaning against the wall, eyes red rimmed, staring into space. Jack watched him bite his lip, blink, open his mouth.
‘He’s been sleeping with his boss. For about a year, now.’ He looked up and into Jack’s eyes. ‘It’s over.’
It was freezing cold and it had been dark for hours. Jack opened his arms and Davey swayed forward into them, hiding his face in Jack’s neck, leaning on him as Jack squeezed him tight. Jack realised, as he stared out into the street and thought about the hollow, manic look in Davey’s eyes, he’d never seen his best friend cry. Davey felt almost horrible in his arms, stiff and shuddering.
‘Come on, you’re freezing.’
Davey followed him in silently, collapsing heavily on the couch when Jack gestured for him to sit.
‘Do you wanna talk about it? You don’t have to.’
He knew Evan was a shit. Well. He didn’t really. But he had definitely thought that Evan’s whole thing reeked of too-good-to-be-true - a marketing exec who wore fitted suits and didn’t believe in lazy Sundays. And he combed his hair every single day, like, what was that? That is to say that he could see why Davey had fallen for him, but from the outside looking in? Davey could do better. Evan wasn’t... real. That was it. Evan’s demeanour was always so practised and so perfect that it made total sense he would be hiding something huge. Not that Jack would tell Davey this.
‘We went out tonight. To the bar on Elizabeth Street. And, um.’ Davey rubbed his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut. ‘We had like five or six rounds. I think maybe he wanted to be drunk. I am. Shit. So drunk.’ He squinted out into the room. Jack was sitting next to him on the couch, watching him sink into the cushions. ‘And then he just came out with it. We must have been in this bar talking like everything was okay for two hours before he said it. The conferences. Like, they were real. But his boss was there too. I feel like such a...’ Davey covered his face with his hands. ‘I can’t believe I thought I was enough for him.’
February 14th 2016
‘So I’ve got Hook, Dead Poet’s Society, and Night at the Museum,’ Davey announced as he walked in. ‘We thinking chronological, alphabetical?’
‘Reverse alphabetical. I need to warm up with Night at the Museum before I can even think about those fricken dead poets.’
Over the last twelve months Jack had enjoyed a number of romantic encounters. He’d gone steady with one girl for two months and even enjoyed a couple of fourth dates with different people before the inevitable fizzling started. Still not desperate he’d tried to focus on his art and maybe finding a better job than his restaurant gig, sure that when a person that was right for him came along, he’d know about it.
Over the last twelve months Davey had been going from strength to strength with Evan. They had moved in together, merged DVD collections, all that good stuff. This had given Jack a lot of time to think about why he just... didn’t love Evan, and he had come up with a fair few reasons. The most troubling of these came as a slow realisation that Davey was too good for him. Way too good.
He started measuring up potential dates next to Davey. Started to get these little twinges in his stomach when Davey entered the room. And it felt good to indulge so he started to let himself stare a little at Davey’s mouth when he talked, his hands when he wrote or held a beer or just kind of anything, his face just all the time but especially when he got excited about stuff.
That’s to say that Jack had been harbouring a very minor, very unimportant... crush for about eight or nine months now. But it was fine. Because Davey was with someone. And their friendship was important to him. It made way more sense for them to stay friends while they dated and had sex with and broke up with other people - Relationships were messy.
He wasn’t happy per se when Davey and Evan ended things, but he knew that Davey was better off out of it. And he hated that as he sat consoling Davey the night it happened, he was trying to make sense of his feelings for him.
He kept Valentine’s free on purpose, excited that it was theirs, with or without romantic complications.
Valentine’s day fell about three weeks after Davey broke up with Evan. Evan’s stuff was gone from his apartment, selfies deleted from his phone, new hangout spots found that wouldn’t remind him of their time together. It was hard trying to get used to being single so quickly - he noticed the lack of welcoming kisses to come home to, and the casual lingering touches. He missed them, even if he knew that most of their relationship had been built on lies. But Jack was an excellent ally in single life, and having their newfound Valentine’s day tradition definitely helped take the sting out.
‘You’re so smart.' He put the movie in and took his seat next to Jack. Jack handed him a beer. Easy, reliable, comfortable silence.
Or it was comfortable silence, until an hour into the movie when Jack realised Davey had barely made a noise - not even a quiet huff of laughter. He looked across to see Davey focused on his drink, silently tapping a fingertip against the neck of the bottle, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.
‘Dave?’
‘Mmm?’
‘What’s up?’
‘What? Nothing. Sorry.’
‘Come on.’
‘I just. I miss him. And I know I shouldn’t. I know he was an asshole. Still.’
‘That’s natural. It takes time, right?’
‘Right. Right. It’s just - crazy how you can be with someone. And then just. Not.’
Jack had tried so hard to tell Davey how the problem wasn’t with him - it was with Evan not knowing what a good thing he had. And yet dumb Davey kept thinking that if he had done something differently, been someone else, Evan wouldn’t have cheated on him. Jack just... wanted Davey to understand how perfect he was.
‘I’m sorry. I know I’m being really boring.’
Because the thing was that Davey would always carry this little flame of self-doubt, if Jack didn’t try his hardest to extinguish it. He’d always think that he needed to be more than he was, instead of being able to trust that the other person liked him anyway. How to let Davey know without pushing it?
‘Hey now. Shut up. You’re allowed to be emo, Dave.’ Jack paused the movie and stood up. ‘Come on. Get up.’
‘What?’
‘Up! We’re going out.’
‘Out where?’
‘Just outside for five minutes, Davey. Trust me, come on.’
Davey stared up at him from the couch, intrigued, sceptical, and aware that Jack was a stubborn asshole and thus inclined to co-operate.
They walked around the block, Jack leading Davey through comically exaggerated breathing exercises that sounded like they’d come from a second-rate birthing instructor.
‘Breathe out that negative energy and low self-esteem and bullshit... Breathe in the potential of the city, and the - the romance in the air, and I don’t fuckin know, the moonlight.’
Davey snorted. ‘The moonlight?’
‘I’m tryin’ my best!’
The smile was foreign and amazing on Davey’s face. They were standing outside his front door. Jack in front of him, lit up from behind by a streetlight, took Davey’s shoulders in his hands.
‘Davey, listen up. You’re the best guy I know. It really hurts to see you so cut up about this. But I know it won’t be long ‘til you meet someone better, who sees how important and special you are, alright? ‘Til then you’re stuck with me, of course, but beggars can’t be choosers.’ He watched Davey for his reaction. Had he gone too far?
Davey pulled him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around Jack and squeezed tight, sagging into him when Jack hugged back. He kept kept kept holding Jack for a couple of minutes, like he was trying to figure something out about the way their chests were pressed together. The longer they stood there together the more Jack started to wonder if he was really on to something, and if Davey was beginning to understand. He would never try to push his best friend into anything he wasn’t ready for and hell, maybe didn’t even want - but this closeness, it said something. Their breathing synced up. Jack could feel warmth radiating from Davey’s skin.
Davey took half a step back, like he was thinking about maybe preparing to end the hug. Their faces next to each other, heads in woolly hats connected temple to temple, Jack’s scratchy stubble on his cheek. He spoke into Jack’s ear.
‘Thanks, Jack.’
Jack smiled bittersweet, thinking that he’d stay in this embrace as long as Davey would let him. Davey inched back, just a little, and all Jack could comprehend was how their mouths were mere inches apart, centimetres even. Was Davey - could they -?
Davey didn’t know what he was doing. He was fizzing inside from Jack’s words and had hugged him to say thank you, but there was something in how Jack’s arms effortlessly held him so tight and for so long, that made him want to stay forever. Jack’s skin against his, Jack’s breath on his ear, his familiar smell. He had always been there.
He rested their foreheads together and Jack didn’t stop him. ‘Jack.’
Jack’s eyes were trained on Davey’s mouth. This was new. They were edging out of friend territory. He barely had the presence of mind to wonder if Davey should even be thinking about kissing him - he was too busy hoping that he was.
When they finally kissed it was sweet and searching and only lasted a couple of seconds. Jack didn’t want to push and Davey was still unsure. It was sublime. A moment of tentatively pressing their lips together followed by another of Davey chasing the sensation, bringing one hand round to cup Jack’s cheek, check he was real. When Jack pulled back, his breath hitched at Davey’s shining eyes. He dared to touch Davey’s face, run his fingertips down his cheek and over his lips.
‘Now you know.’ It came out a whisper. Davey nodded, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath in.
‘We should get inside.’ They finally stepped away from each other, but before leading Jack back in Davey reached out, picking up his hand and holding it tight.
February 14th 2017
Jack combed his fingers through Davey’s hair, grinning at the sated, sleepy expression on his face. Davey blushed under the gaze of his gross, sweaty boyfriend, pulling him down for a long kiss.
They had woken up the morning of February 15th 2016 the way they always did, tangled up in a comforter on Davey’s couch, sun struggling through the curtains to land on their faces. Usually, however, they weren’t tangled up in each other at the same time. The night before had seen them muddle through their emotions in a halting conversation which saw Davey admitting that being close to Jack felt right, and natural, and normal. This admittance led to Jack readily opening his arms again and letting a confused Davey lay his head on his chest. In the twilight nothing seemed solid. They could deal with it all later.
Davey, off to work at eight thirty, left Jack sound asleep, texting him instead of waking him.
can we hang out later? ok if you’re busy. let me know when you finish work.
Three hundred and sixty five days of taking it slow later and Jack was still trying to show Davey how their leap of faith was worth it, a fact Davey well knew, but he wasn’t about to stifle Jack’s enthusiasm. Having Jack Kelly as a boyfriend was like having a cheerleader and a lover all rolled into one best-friend-shaped package and yes, Davey had been reticent at the start, so soon after breaking up with Evan, but Jack had been patient, and sincere, and suddenly it was already their first anniversary.
It was only 10pm when they got home from their meal, Jack having beaten even Spot in booking them a table months in advance, and around midnight when they collapsed on to Davey’s bed, exhausted, thrilled, and very naked.
‘I love you so god damn much.’ How good it felt to finally say those words out loud instead of screaming them in his head!
‘I love you too, you giant nerd.’ Davey gripped Jack’s hand to his chest. ‘I’m really glad we started that Valentine’s thing three years ago, too. I keep thinking how happy I am that girl dumped you.’
‘You sweet talker, Dave. I actually keep thinking about how we never finished that movie last year.’
‘Night at the Museum?’
‘That’s the one.’ Jack raised his eyebrows. ‘Seems a shame to discard our old traditions just ‘cause we’ve found some new activities.’
‘You’re serious? Naked Palentine’s day?’
‘Yes! Get your ass up!’ Jack jumped up, whisking away the comforter from where it had been kicked to the foot of the bed. He reached out to pull Davey up. ‘Come on, those nights were almost perfect, right?’
‘Almost perfect?’
‘Too many clothes.’ He wrapped the comforter around their shoulders and they padded as one into the living room.
#newsies#javid#newsies fic#jack kelly#davey jacobs#cant believe how long this fuckin took me to write#like its not even v day where i live anymore but its ok because it still is in new york
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92 truth tag
Rules: Write 92 truths about yourself then tag 25 people
Thank you @sopeonthestreets u sweet child <3
LAST…
[1] drink: milk i always drink milk
[2] phone call: my boss
[3] text message: my dear friend forcing me out for drinks this weekend
[4] song you listened to: cant remember the title but its that one song hyungwon recommended in that one video
[5] time you cried: i always cry
HAVE YOU EVER…
[6] dated someone twice: yes
[7] been cheated on: yes
[8] kissed someone and regretted it: yES
[9] lost someone special: yesyesyeess
[10] been depressed: yes
[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: yes....... but not in a long time......
LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:
[12] blue
[13] jimin’s hair
[14] xiumin’s hair
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…
[15] made new friends: BOY YES
[16] fallen out of love: nope still in love
[17] laughed until you cried: yes which is partly why i cry all the time!
[18] found out someone was talking about you: not yet
[19] met someone who changed you: nope
[20] found out who your true friends are: yeHES
[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: yes. its a secret. don't tell wonho
[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them i think
[23] do you have any pets: i got 2 dogs and an insane roommate
[24] do you want to change your name: yup i’ll do it as soon as i can afford it
[25] what did you do for your last birthday: my dear friend picked me up at my dorm at 9 in the morning with several cans and bottles or liquor and told me to trust him, we jumped on a train and drank (A LOT OF ALCOHOL. STARTING AT 9 IN THE MORNING) for 2 hours until we arrived at a train station where we got picked up by some of his friends and the 8 of us jumped into a van (me and 6 boys crammed in the trunk. the police drove by but thankfully didn’t see us) and drove to a huge beach where about 200 people were partying (i didn't know 90% of them, it just so happened they had one of the biggest beach parties in japan on my birthday and my friend worked there and got us free tickets). i spent god knows how long time in the dj-booth with my friends drinking and in the ocean almost dying. when the sun went down we got back home somehow and they dropped me off at my dorm where my dorm buddies had left me presents outside my door and were drinking on the rooftop where i joined them after a shower. half of the presents were more alcohol. it was one of the best days of my life and i met one of the most gorgeous boys I've ever sEEN.
[26] what time did you wake up: at 8. my dogs wake me up by stepping on me
[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping
[28] name something you cannot wait for: this weekend. i dont wanna go out and drink a fortune away but my friend just informed me we’re going to the bar he’s working at aka free champagne so hERE WE GO. also my japanese boyfriend visiting me in a few months
[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: half an hour ago
[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: a whole lot
[31] what are you listening to right now: kpop piano covers i love them
[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: no
[33] something that is getting on your nerves: a girl i work with
[34] most visited website: youtube
[35] elementary: uh yeah
[36] high school: yyeah
[37] college: yUP
[38] hair color: blonde&purple
[39] long or short hair: lob
[40] do you have a crush on someone: i have crushes on everyone
[41] what do you like about yourself: i like wonho
[42] piercings: 4 in my ears, more coming soon
[43]blood type: eh
[44] nickname: got a hundred
[45] relationship status: a lovely tall boyfriend
[46] zodiac sign: leo
[47] pronouns: ur majesty
[48] fav tv show: american horror story
[49] tattoos: planning one out
[50] right or left hand: Right
FIRST…
[51] surgery: stomach
[52] piercing: all over my ears
[53] best friend: this fucker
[54] sport: dancing
[55] vacation: paris
[56] pair of trainers: ?? pokemon trainers?? whats this question abt
RIGHT NOW…
[57] eating: nothing
[58] drinking: ^
[59] i’m about to: watch some monsta x shit
[60] listening to: piano stuff
[61] waiting for: friday free drinks
[62] want: wonho. and boyfriend
[63] get married: wOAHNOW
[64] career: part time sushi chef part time model
[65] hugs or kisses: hugs my grey ace ass doesn’t trust kisses
[66] lips or eyes: eyes
[67] shorter or taller: taller boys shorter girls
[68] older or younger: older
[70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms
[71] sensitive or loud: loud
[72] hook up or relationship: relationship rn but generally hookup
[73] troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker
HAVE YOU EVER…
[74] kissed a stranger? yup
[75] drank hard liquor? yuup
[76] lost glasses/contact lenses? yuuup
[77] turned someone down: yuuuup
[78] sex on first date? no
[79] broken someone’s heart? yup
[80] had your own heart broken? nope
[81] been arrested? no
[82] cried when someone died? yeah
[83] fallen for a friend? YEAH BOY
DO YOU BELIEVE IN…
[84] yourself? not really no
[85] miracles? no
[86] love at first sight? no
[87] Santa Claus? no
[88] kiss on the first date? i’ll kiss you but it better not get any further. i’ll punch you
[89] angels? does wonho jin xiumin and changsub exist?
OTHER…
[90] current best friend’s name: got lots of them i’m a lucky girl
[91] eye color: blkuewbf
[92] favorite movie: any horror movie
oh my god idk who to tag ok i’ll randomly chose people from my followers hey everyone u can ignore this if u want to @himlarna @wingsofthenorth @annoyingslytherin no i cant I'm too tired HEY IF U READ THIS UR TAGGED
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