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#nearly 5 years and I'm still not over it!
king-paimon · 1 day
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Houseki No Kuni Chapter 108 Thoughts: Everything Stays....
Hello all. I hope the month of April was good to everyone. It was alright for me, though I'm just in awe by how fast it went! Time really goes by too quickly as you get older.
Speaking of time, would you look at that? The final chapter of Houseki no Kuni was released! 108 chapters over the course of 12 years. And I've been following it for nearly 5 of those years! Wow! That is quite the feat, Ms. Ichikawa.
I'd been waiting for this day for a long time, and the feeling is bittersweet, with the overlaying feeling of relief. This emotional rollercoaster that Ms. Ichikawa had sent us on has finally reached it's dock.
Phos's story is finally complete. What a ride it had been!
Now the question is: Was I satisfied?....
I'll do my best to answer this. I don't know how long this post will be, but I'm hoping that it won't be too long (edit: Oops. I was wrong.) And as always, please feel free share your own thoughts if you're interested!
Here we go:
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Phos's True End: Was It Satisfying?
I reread this chapter a few times to answer this question and to be honest, I still reach the same conclusion: It was fitting. Not absolutely bad or 100% amazing, but in terms of Phos's whole journey throughout this story, I think this was a fitting ending for Phos, and that's good. And if anything else, it's a little ironic.
I mentioned in my last post that I thought it was funny that the remaining piece of Phos had become the youngest/newest member of the pebble species much like how they originally were at the beginning off the whole manga. It seems though, the similarities don't end there because of this little interaction between Eyeball/Pita-pat and Pebble Phos:
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I'm sure this was supposed to be a little cheeky conversation and Eyeball/Pita-pat didn't really mean it. But still, this was an interesting exchange to include in this final chapter, especially right before it's implied that Eyeball/Pita-pat passed away.
One intriguing story choice Ichikawa made was having Pebble Phos continuously fall apart near the end to the point that they become a small spec. To be honest, I was not sure how to feel about this part when I first read, especially considering how now there's hardly any of Phos left now. Like, after Eyeball/Pita-pat saved that last bit of Phos so they could have a nice life away from humanity, it'd be unfair for them to break apart again to nothing after all of that. But I did like how the pebbles decided to view Pebble Phos' changes; that their fragments surely became beautiful comets that would brighten someone's day. And that shot with original Phos was nice...
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Also, I saw the post that implied that Ichikawa released this final chapter around the same time that a rare famous comet was supposed to be seen on Earth. I want to say that I think it was a pure coincidence, but I'm not putting anything past this author!
This chapter made me think of that one song from Adventure Time: Everything Stays. If you haven't heard of it, please give a listen. It's a song about life and the course of change. It focuses on how even if things appear to stay the same over the course of time, changes still occur, even if subtle. Phos certainly changed a lot throughout their story through intense mind and physical altering events. But I also think they changed subtly even during the less intense moments. I think the moments in this final chapter fit with this song, too. Phos was always evolving, even when it didn't appear so. Through their interactions and lack thereof with others and their environment, Phos was always changing and growing, ever so subtly. And even in this last chapter, Phos is still evolving and that'll likely never end.
Interesting... after thinking about it some more, I think I feel a little more satisfied with how this chapter/story ended. I'm glad that Ms. Ichikawa didn't pull some other twist near the end; that certainly would have ruined it for me. Am I 100% happy with how Phos's story ended? I don't think so. But to me, it's a fitting end.
But what do I think about the series as a whole?
When The Journey Ends: Was It Worth It?
There are very few manga or written stories that had me wanting to see how things end because more often than not, there aren't that many stories that I've read to completion. Part of it is because I don't want the story to end; basically, I'd have the thought process that if I don't know how the story ends, the story doesn't end! Perfect logic (sarcasm). Though this usually happens because I lose interest or because the story goes in directions that I don't like, I'd say one of the main reasons I end up dropping a series is because of how a story ends. How a story ends can completely change one's opinion of a story, and I've seen my fair share of stories that end badly. Sometimes the ending is abrupt and not satisfying, especially if it was lead by a big build up, or the ending is a result of a jarring story pivot that seems to come out of left field. It just seems that many creators don't know how to end their story well. And if I like a story a lot, sometimes I'm too scared to see how it ends. Partially because I don't want the story to end, but mostly because I don't want the end to ruin my experience.
Houseki no Kuni is a unique case for me. I know I've mentioned this before but I'll state it again: I don't think I've ever been so invested in a story like this before. Though that investment had dwindled over time, partially due to me developing new interests, life, and being occasionally dissatisfied with certain story choices, I wanted to see this how this story would end no matter what. And now that it's done, I'm glad I stuck it out.
Was this story perfect? No. There were several story decisions that I wish was either told differently or completely omitted that could have made the story stronger in my opinion.
Did I get a too invested in this story? During certain points, most definitely haha. I remember getting very emotional about certain chapters when I first started making this series of meta posts. I remember seeing some posts from people stating that they no longer liked the manga because of the direction it was going and in some cases, I could see where they were coming from.
Do I regret getting so invested in this story? No. No I don't. Despite not liking certain story aspects, I do not regret getting invested in this story. Though the story was not perfect, this was such a unique experience that I'm grateful to have gone through.
I plan on talking more about how I feel about Houseki no Kuni as a whole in another post. I intend to delve into what I loved about it and what I wish was different. While I could include that stuff here, I think this post is long enough. I've already started working on it, but I know it'll be a while before it's done; you bet there will be some parts with me ranting a little haha
But long story short, despite some grievances I have with some parts of the story, I feel satisfied with how it ended. And I'm glad that I read this series.
What Happens Next: Thank you, HnK Fandom
I want to thank those who've read, liked, and even commented on my posts! I didn't think so many of you would like, let alone read, my longwinded messy posts. I loved every feedback I got, even the ones that didn't agree with me. You made me love being part of this niche fandom. Like I said in the previous section, I have at least one more post that I want to make detailing everything I feel about Houseki No Kuni as a whole. I might make another one that's more for fun, but we'll see. I encourage anyone who's interested to share your own thoughts on the post! I seriously love reading different perspectives.
But after those posts, I don't know how involved I'll be in the fandom afterwards. I may repost some art and other people's meta posts on occasion. But when it comes to meta commentary, these will likely be my last posts about HnK. I have other fandoms that I like to follow, though I don't make posts about them. Perhaps I will, though I know they will be nothing like the posts I've made about Houseki no Kuni. This was the only series I've ever felt compelled to analyze so deeply, which makes it special for me. If I were to post anything about the other stuff I'm into, it'll most likely be of fanart that I made for my own personal enjoyment. I know scare many of my followers away since they'll not be HnK related. But who knows? I haven't made any HnK art in a long time... Maybe one of these days, I can try to make some HnK art again. I have some unfinished pieces on my computer that's now years old. Yeah, I should finish them when I have the time. That'd be a fun little send off.
Anyhow, if you are interested, please hang around for my final HnK meta posts! And when it's out, please please PLEASE share your own thoughts in it! Don't be afraid to share your opinions. I promise I don't bite.
So that's it. These are my thoughts of the final chapter of Houseki no Kuni. I might add more to it, but I'm fine with what I put out. Wow... I still can't believe I got into this series 5 years ago! So much had changed in my life since then. Despite everything, it was worth it.
Thank you again for reading my jargon. It means a lot and I can't wait to post my true final meta posts about Houseki no Kuni.
What a ride this was.
Until next time...
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wiyu989 · 8 months
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"Bucky was happy for Steve!"
Yeah, totally.
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ms-hells-bells · 1 year
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also oml
he got us to stand up and say our name, where we come from (important in maori culture), why we're doing the test, and one thing we like doing. all the other participants were like 'listening to music', 'hanging out with friends', super normal, non committal answers because why would you be serious in a quick casual classroom introduction. then it got to me and i was like 'hi, my name is bell, i come from ___, i'm here because i need photo id, and i like listening to history pod....casts.....' and went quiet and trailed off partway through because i realised how embarrassingly white that response was.
and then the teacher changed and we had to reintroduce ourselves, so i was like 'okay, i'll say something less cringe this time', but the only thing that popped into my head was 'i enjoy baking'. and they all just looked at me like 🤨 and the teacher was like 'HOHOHO I SHOULD COME AROUND FOR SOME KAI SOMETIME-NAH JUST PLAYING', and i just
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colleendoran · 3 months
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Great Big Good Omens Graphic Novel Update
AKA A Visit From Bildad the Shuhite.
The past year or so has been one long visit from this guy, whereupon he smiteth my goats and burneth my crops, woe unto the woeful cartoonist.
Gaze upon the horror of Bildad the Shuhite.
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You kind of have to be a Good Omens fan to get this joke, but trust me, it's hilarious.
Anyway, as a long time Good Omens novel fan, you may imagine how thrilled I was to get picked to adapt the graphic novel.
 Go me!  
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This is quite a task, I have to say, especially since I was originally going to just draw (and color) it, but I ended up writing the adaptation as well. Tricky to fit a 400 page novel into a 160-ish page graphic novel, especially when so much of the humor is dependent on the language, and not necessarily on the visuals.
Not complainin', just sayin'.
Anyway, I started out the gate like a herd of turtles, because  right away I got COVID which knocked me on my butt. 
And COVID brain fog? That's a thing. I already struggle with brain fog due to autoimmune disease, and COVID made it worse.
Not complainin' just sayin'.
This set a few of the assignments on my plate back, which pushed starting Good Omens back. 
But hey, big fat lead time! No worries!
Then my computer crawled toward the grave.
My trusty MAC Pro Tower was nearly 15 years old when its sturdy heart ground to a near-halt with daily crashes. I finally got around to doing some diagnostics; some of its little brain actions were at 5% functionality. I had no reliable backups.
There are so many issues with getting a new computer when you haven't had a new computer or peripherals in nearly fifteen years and all of your software, including your Photoshop program is fifteen years old.
At the time, I was still on rural internet...which means dial-up speed.
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Whatever you have for internet in the city, roll that clock back to about 2001.
That's what I had. I not only had to replace almost all of my hardware but I had to load and update all programs at dial-up speed.
Welcome to my gigabyte hell.
The entire process of replacing the equipment and programs took weeks and then I had to relearn all the software.
All of this was super expensive in terms of money and time cost.
But I was not daunted! Nosirree!
I still had a huge lead time! I can do anything! I have an iron will!
And boy, howdy, I was going to need it.
At about the same time, a big fatcat quadrillionaire client who had hired me years ago to develop a big, major transmedia project for which I was paid almost entirely in stock, went bankrupt leaving everyone holding the bag, and taking a huge chunk of my future retirement fund with it.
I wrote a very snarky almost hilarious Patreon post about it, but am not entirely in a position to speak freely because I don't want to get sued. Even though I had to go to court over it, (and I had to do that over Zoom at dial-up speed,) I'm pretty sure I'll never get anything out of this drama, and neither will anyone else involved, except millionaire dude and his buddies who all walked away with huge multi-million dollar bonuses weeks before they declared bankruptcy, all the while claiming they would not declare bankruptcy.
Even the accountant got $250,000 a month to shut down the business, while creators got nothing.
That in itself was enough drama for the year, but we were only at February by that point, and with all those months left, 2023 had a lot more to throw at me.
Fresh from my return from my Society of Illustrators show, and a lovely time at MOCCA, it was time to face practical medical issues, health updates, screening, and the like. I did my adult duty and then went back to work hoping for no news, but still had a weird feeling there would be news.
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I know everyone says that, but I mean it. I had a bad feeling.
Then there was news.
I was called back for tests and more tests. This took weeks. The ubiquitous biopsy looked, even to me staring at the screen in real time, like bad news. 
It also hurt like a mofo after the anesthesia wore off. I wasn't expecting that.
Then I got the official bad news.
Cancer which runs in my family finally got me. Frankly, I was surprised I didn't get it sooner.
Stage 0, and treatment would likely be fast and complication-free. Face the peril, get it over with, and get back to work. 
I requested surgery months in the future so I could finish Good Omens first, but my doc convinced me the risk of waiting was too great. Get it done now.
"You're really healthy," my doc said. Despite an auto-immune issue which plagues me, I am way healthier than the average schmoe of late middle age. She informed me I would not even need any chemo or radiation if I took care of this now.
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So I canceled my appearance at San Diego Comic Con. I did not inform the Good Omens team of my issues right away, thinking this would not interfere with my work schedule, but I did contact my agent to inform her of the issue. I also contacted a lawyer to rewrite my will and make sure the team had access to my digital files in case there were complications.
Then I got back to work, and hoped for the best.
Eff this guy.
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Before I could even plant my carcass on the surgery table, I got a massive case of ocular shingles.
I didn't even know there was such a thing. 
There I was, minding my own business. I go to bed one night with a scratchy eye, and by 4 PM the next day, I was in the emergency room being told if I didn't get immediate specialist treatment, I was in big trouble.
I got transferred to another hospital and got all the scary details, with the extra horrid news that I could not possibly have cancer surgery until I was free of shingles, and if I did not follow a rather brutal treatment procedure - which meant super-painful  eye drops every half hour, twenty-four hours a day and daily hospital treatment - I could lose the eye entirely, or be blinded, or best case scenario, get permanent eye damage.
What was even funnier (yeah, hilarity) is the drops are so toxic if you don't use the medication just right, you can go blind anyway.
Hi Ho.
Ulcer is on the right. That big green blob.
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I had just finished telling my cancer surgeon I did not even really care about getting cancer, was happy it was just stage zero, had no issues with scarring, wanted no reconstruction, all I cared about was my work. 
Just cut it out and get me back to work.
And now I wondered if I was going to lose my ability to work anyway.
Shingles often accompanies cancer because of the stress on the immune system, and yeah, it's not pretty. This is me looking like all heck after I started to get better.
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The first couple of weeks were pretty demoralizing as I expected a straight trajectory to wellness. But it was up and down all the way. 
Some days I could not see out of either eye at all. The swelling was so bad that I had to reach around to my good eye to prop the lid open. Light sensitivity made seeing out of either eye almost impossible. Outdoors, even with sunglasses, I had to be led around by the hand.
I had an amazing doctor. I meticulously followed his instructions, and I think he was surprised I did. The treatment is really difficult, and if you don't do it just right no matter how painful it gets, you will be sorry. 
To my amazement, after about a month, my doctor informed me I had no vision loss in the eye at all. "This never happens," he said.
I'd spent a couple of weeks there trying to learn to draw in the near-dark with one eye, and in the end, I got all my sight back.
I could no longer wear contact lenses (I don't really wear them anyway, unless I'm going to the movies,) would need hard core sun protection for awhile, and the neuralgia and sun sensitivity were likely to linger. But I could get back to work.
I have never been more grateful in my life.
Neuralgia sucks, by the way, I'm still dealing with it months later.
Anyway, I decided to finally go ahead and tell the Good Omens team what was going on, especially since this was all happening around the time the Kickstarter was gearing up.
Now that I was sure I'd passed the eye peril, and my surgery for Stage 0 was going to be no big deal, I figured all was a go. I was still pretty uncomfortable and weak, and my ideal deadline was blown, but with the book not coming out for more than a year, all would be OK. I quit a bunch of jobs I had lined up to start after Good Omens, since the project was going to run far longer than I'd planned.
Everybody on the team was super-nice, and I was pretty optimistic at this time. But work was going pretty slow during, as you may imagine.
But again...lots of lead time still left, go me.
Then I finally got my surgery.
Which was not as happy an experience as I had been hoping for.
My family said the doc came out of the operating room looking like she'd been pulled backwards through a pipe, She informed them the tumor which looked tiny on the scan was "...huge and her insides are a mess."
Which was super not fun news.
Eff this guy.
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The tumor was hiding behind some dense tissue and cysts. After more tests, it was determined I'd need another surgery and was going to have to get further treatments after all.
The biopsy had been really painful, but the discomfort was gone after about a week, so no biggee. The second surgery was, weirdly, not as painful as the biopsy, but the fatigue was big time.
By then, the Good Omens Kickstarter had about run its course, and the record-breaker was both gratifying and a source of immense social pressure.
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I'd already turned most of my social media over to an assistant, and I'm glad I did.
But the next surgery was what really kicked me on my keister.
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All in all, they took out an area the size of a baseball. It was  hard to move and wiped me out for weeks and weeks. I could not take care of myself. I'd begun losing hair by this time anyway, and finally just lopped it off since it was too heavy for me to care for myself. The cut hides the bald spots pretty well.
After about a month, I got the go-ahead to travel to my show at the San Diego Comic Con Museum (which is running until the first week of April, BTW). I was very happy I had enough energy to do it. But as soon as I got back, I had to return to treatment.
Since I live way out in the country, going into the city to various hospitals and pharmacies was a real challenge. I made more than 100 trips last year, and a drive to the compounding pharmacy which produced the specialist eye medicine I could not get anywhere else was six hours alone.
Naturally, I wasn't getting anything done during this time.
But at least my main hospital is super swank.
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The oncology treatment went smoothly, until it didn't. The feels don't hit you until the end. By then I was flattened.
So flattened that I was too weak to control myself, fell over, and smashed my face into some equipment.
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Nearly tore off my damn nostril.
Eff this guy.
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Anyway, it was a bad year.
Here's what went right.
I have a good health insurance policy. The final tally on my health care costs ended up being about $150,000. I paid about 18% of that, including insurance. I had a high deductible and some experimental medicine insurance didn't cover. I had savings,  enough to cover the months I wasn't working, and my Patreon is also very supportive. So you didn't see me running a Gofundme or anything.
Thanks to everyone who ever bought one of my books.
No, none of that money was Good Omens Kickstarter money. I won't get most of my pay on that for months, which is just as well because it kept my taxes lower last year when I needed a break.
So, yay.
My nose is nearly healed. I opted out of plastic surgery, and it just sealed up by itself. I'll never be ready for my closeup, but who the hell cares.
I got to ring the bell.
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I had a very, VERY hard time getting back to work, especially with regard to focus and concentration. My work hours dropped by over 2/3. I was so fractured and weak, time kept slipping away while I sat in the studio like a zombie. Most of the last six months were a wash.
I assumed focus issues were due (in part) to stress, so sought counseling. This seemed like a good idea at first, but when the counselor asked me to detail my issues with anxiety, I spent two weeks doing just that and getting way more anxious, which was not helpful.
After that I went EFF THIS NOISE, I want practical tools, not touchy feelies (no judgment on people who need touchy-feelies, I need a pragmatic solution and I need it now,) so tried using the body doubling focus group technique for concentration and deep work.
Within two weeks, I returned to normal work hours.
I got rural broadband, jumping me from dial up speed to 1 GB per second.
It's a miracle.
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Massive doses of Vitamin D3 and K2. Yay.
The new computer works great.
The Kickstarter did so well, we got to expand the graphic novel to 200 pages. Double yay.
I'm running late, but everyone on the Good Omens team is super supportive. I don't know if I am going to make the book late or not, but if I do, well, it surely wasn't on purpose, and it won't be super late anyway. I still have months of lead time left.
I used to be something of a social media addict, but now I hardly ever even look at it, haven't been directly on some sites in over a year, and no longer miss it. It used to seem important and now doesn't.
More time for real life.
While I think the last year aged me about twenty years, I actually like me better with short hair. I'm keeping it.
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OK. Rough year. 
Not complainin', just sayin'.
Back to work on The Book.
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And only a day left to vote for Good Omens, Neil Gaiman, and Sandman in the Comicscene Awards. Thanks. 
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david-watts · 1 year
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maybe my earlier outburst was more indicative of my mood
#I want to fucking die that's all#I'm ending my fourth year of studies. in a two-year degree. and I'm still doing first-year subjects.#and I never actually wanted to study in the first place I'm literally only doing it for the money#$366 a fortnight plus the measly five bucks they add on top as 'rental assistance' in a state I don't live in#not that I'm complaining about that mind you $5 is $5#but I can't wait for the moment the cunts realise and bill me for ten times the amount because robodebt hasn't ended it's just#rebranded.#I nearly became the only male in my family over the last few months and honestly it's killing me that I can't be seen as that if it were so#and i know it's selfish to say it because I know people have it far far worse but#genuinely lost any chance of being myself with covid being a thing.#lost any chance at running away I know I have some sort of stockholm syndrome even though ik that was a made-up term#I should've. saved up over 2019. made money with commissions worked myself to the bone with that#since school nearly killed me anyway#what's even changed since 2018! I still spend every day on my bed and get yelled at for I have nowhere else to go#I still get shamed for not eating what my grandmother wants. she still yells at me if I don't eat her cooking.#don't really want to be in the world to be honest.#if I'd just. left at the start of 2020. not taken my flight home that day. left to go somewhere else#I've wanted to run away and leave since I was thirteen for fuck's sake#not that i knew it. but#there's a common theme in my writing and it's the moment the character has to leave home. the start of the hero's journey.#but I don't have a hero's journey I'm not a character I'm a person who can't even. I can't even function half the time#if I'd just left and if I'd just focused on actually being good at things instead of pretending to keep up appearances#I should just let myself die. wouldn't that be better for literally everyone
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lovingmattysposts · 2 months
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Quiet 5
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P1 P2 P3 P4 P6 P7 P8
pairing: y/n and Matt sturniolo
summary: a girl with a lot of baggage and a boy with even more try to help put each others pieces back together one by one. A story about a girl who’s broken and a boy who doesn’t talk.
warnings: mentions of being scarcely thin, mentions of lack of food, toxic household
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Matt and I walked out of his room back into the living room where Chris and Nick were still talking.
"You don't know her Chris"
"Neither do you! I'm just saying that--"
I cleared my throat and they both haulted their conversations and turned to us. I looked over at Matt who held a firm gaze on them, his eyebrows low. I swallowed and shifted on my feet suddenly feeling very unwelcome.
I turned Matt.
"Hey, I'll see you tomorrow right?" I mumbled hugging my arms to myself. Matt broke his gaze on his brothers and turned to me. He just blinked at me for a second and then pushed off his feet and walked up to Chris.
Chris looked down at him. Matt pulled out his phone before typing something out on it and showed it to him. Chris glanced over the screen and looked up at him.
"Why?" He asked. I just looked between them as Matt typed on his phone again and brought it up to Chris's face. Chris looked to Matt and shook his head. Matt glared at him.
What was going on?
Matt typed again. Chris looked at the phone. Chris glanced over to me and my eyes widened.
"Do you want to stay for dinner?" He asked unenthusiastic at me. My mouth opened and I looked at Matt who wore a sympathetic glance. I felt sick to my stomach. I felt goosebumps appear on my arms.
"Uh, No it's okay" I said quickly shaking my head. One dinner with Chris and he might jump across the dinner table and strangle me. Nick stepped forward.
"Please stay. I'll cook, I'm a good cook. Matt's never complained" Nick smiled brightly at me. I blinked towards Matt who rolled his eyes. Obviously Matt never complained because he didn't speak.
I still thought it was too much, I didn't want to take their food. The sandwhich Matt gave me was too much in the first place. I shook my head quickly.
"No, It's okay. I think....I think my dad--He is gonna pick up something. He'll be waiting on me" I lied, badly. I didn't even know when I went home if my dad would be there, let alone have food waiting for me. My stomach growled at the thought.
Nick studied my eyes.
"I'll be fine, I don't need your food" I said softly shaking my head. Chris sighed and looked at me. "Just stay" He mumbled the least condescending thing he's said to me all day. I took in a breath and looked at Matt who's eyes pleaded with me.
I swallowed.
"Uh, okay. Fine" I nodded. "Thank you" I whispered, looking between them. Nick smiled and nodded as he walked into the kitchen. Chris just shook his head as he followed. And Matt smiled at me.
I smiled back.
-
I felt eyes on me as I ate. I glanced up as I shoved yet another spoon full of food into my mouth. I set it down before meeting Nick's eyes.
"Is it good?" He chuckled at the speed of which I ate. I wiped the napkin against my face. "Yeah, I love pasta" I breathed chuckling awkwardly. Matt shook his head smiling down at his plate.
The dinner was nearly ending and I had basically licked my plate clean. I wasn't lying. The pasta was incredible. I hadn't had homemade food since my mom got sick over a year ago.
I sighed as I pushed my plate away from me and the boys around me continued to eat. I would have been self consciousabout how fast I devoured the meal, but I was too hungry to care. I hadn't eaten at all that day and I didn't know where my next meal would be.
"Did you take your medicine?" Chris looked up from his plate looking at Matt. Matt looked up from chewing and looked at Chris. He just blinked at him.
"You're suppose to take it with food" He said pointing to his plate. Matt looked away from his clenching his jaw. I just looked between them.
"Did you take it?" He asked again. Matt set his fork down and nodded raising his eyebrows, sending daggers at his brother.
"Okay, Jeez. I was just asking, don't have to get all defensive." Chris mumbled looking back down and shoving his plate away. I looked over at Matt and he stared at the table before pushing off his chair and walking towards his room.
Nick turned his head as he walked away. Chris just shook his head.
"You're not his mother, Chris. He can take care of himself, he knows when to take it" Nick glared at Chris. Nick stood up taking the plates off the table.
"He actually can't, Nick. If we--"
"Don't. We have a guest" Nick looked at me before wondering off towards the sink. Chris looked over at me. I just stared back at him. He sighed and leaned back in his chair.
"So what's your deal?" He asked blaniently. My mouth opened as I stared at me. "My deal?" I asked pointing to myself. You're the one treating me like i'm some random bully-bitch, my mind screamed.
He pursed his lips as his eyes ran over me and all the sudden I felt like I was naked sitting in front of him, I felt so vulnerable. I shifted in my seat. He met my eyes again.
"You don't have food at home" He stated. It wasn't a question. I blinked at him and I felt my cheek redden.
"No I-I do" I nodded looking at him, crossing my arms over my chest. He blinked at me and raised his eyebrows.
Had Matt told him that? Matt didn't even really know that.
"You devoured that meal like it was going to disappear if you didn't eat it in under 3 minutes, you're skin and bones, and you're a bad liar" He tilted his head. I smacked my lips together and looked down.
I didn't know I was that transparent. I took in a breath and turned my embarrassment into anger.
"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to comment on women's bodies?" I breathed glaring at him. His gaze didn't lighten.
"My mother's dead"
My glared dropped and I sat up. "Oh, I didn't know. I'm sorry" I shook my head. He just looked at me and sighed.
"Look, I'm sorry for being such an ass eariler, I shouldn't have--" He sighed, as If this apology was a lot for him. He glanced to the empty seat next to me.
"I misjudged you and I'm sorry" He muttered. I blinked up at him. I shook my head as I played with my fingers. "How do you know you misjudged me? You don't even know me" I mumbled. He licked his lips.
"I've never seen Matt smile so much in one sitting" He stated. I looked up at him, meeting his eyes. "That's how I know I was wrong" He said. I just looked at him.
Matt walked back into the kitchen and slammed the empty pill bottle in front of Chris. Chris looked up at him. Matt raised his eyebrows. Chris stood up and took the pill bottle and rattled it in front of Matt before walking off.
Matt glared at him before looking back towards me. I smiled softly up at him. I stood up before wiping my hands on my jeans. I blinked up at Matt.
"I should go, my dad's probably waiting" I stated. He wasn't. I knew he wasn't. Nick turned around looking at me. "Can I help? Before I go?" I asked as I began to walk toward Nick washing the dishes. He shook his head.
"No, you go. Thanks for coming, try not to steal anymore bandaids" He chuckled. My eyes widened as I glanced over at Matt who furrowed his eyebrows looking at Nick. I swallowed and wrapped my arms around myself.
"Yeah, I'll try" I whispered before walking towards the door. Matt walked behind me before I opened the door. He stepped outside with and I looked up at him.
"Your brothers are nice" I smiled. He tilted his head. I smiled and closed my eyes. "Nick's nice...Chris is....intense" To say the least. Matt nodded. I sighed as I looked away from the house.
"I'll go" I mumbled. "See you tomorrow" I whispered. His mouth parted as I turned from him and walked down the steps. I heard him walk behind me. I turned around and he blinked at me.
"What are you doing?" I asked. He motioned for me to walk. I turned and walked, I heard his footsteps behind me before he walked beside me. I paused and turned to him again.
"Matt, what are you doing?" I asked again. He looked up and motioned around us. To the fact that it was dark. I looked back at him.
"You don't have to walk me home" I shook my head. He just looked at me with a blank expression. I closed my eyes and sighed and turned to walk. He walked with me, sliding his hands into his pockets as he walked next to me.
We walked in silence for a few minutes but I couldn’t help but feel a fire in my chest from Nick’s comment. I didn’t want Matt to know about that. The fact that I stole in general. Let alone from the place his brother worked at.
“I didn’t steal those bandiads because I just wanted to steal. I just….needed them” I defended myself. Matt looked up from the ground and his eyes burned in me.
I wrapped my arms around myself as we walked and I stayed staring at the ground in front of me.
“I don’t want you to think that I’m going to steal from you or your brothers, I would never do something like that Matt I swear—“ I shook my head. I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“I’m not a thief” I whispered.
I didn’t want him to judge me, but he had to have been. I mean who wouldn’t? Stealing is wrong. What I did was wrong. And I knew that. Matt probably knew that too.
He didn’t say anything but he watched me. I didn’t dare look up at him. I didn’t want to read his eyes, because I knew what they were going to tell me.
I felt him pull my arm loose from my around my body. I looked up and his hand slid into mine. I looked down at our hands and then up to him, he just looked forward.
I smiled softly. It was his way of saying:
It’s okay I’m not judging you
I smiled towards the ground.
As we approach my house I felt bad butterflies sworn my stomach. I didn't want him to see my house. My house was big enough for me and my dad, that was it. His house was big enough for an entire family. I swallowed as I stared at my shoes hitting the pavement.
But when we got there. He didn't say anything. He barley looked at my house. He just smiled as I walked into my house and then turned on his feet to walk back.
-
"Do you know Jake Andrews?"
He looked up at me holding my gaze and then looked back towards his book. He shrugged. I nodded and looked back to my book. The only sounds between us were the sounds of his pencil scrapping against the paper.
I tapped my foot as I stared ay book page. I couldn't focus. There was a hockey game tonight and I knew Jake was playing and I half-way told him that I would go. I bit my lip as I read the same words on the page over and over.
It was back then when I-It was back then when I-It was back then when I-
I tapped my foot faster.
I looked up when I felt his hand cover over on my leg, stilling the tapping. His eyes focused in on his page, his glasses swooped on his nose. He lifted his hand from my knee without looking over at me, after he stilled my tapping. My knee burned where he touched me.
"Sorry" I quickly mumbled realizing my tapping must have annoyed him. He didn't react. I set my book down realizing I wasn't getting anywhere with reading the same line over and over again.
"Do you ever go to the hockey games?" I asked turning to him. He sighed and set down his pencil and gave me his full attention.
"Sorry" I shook my head realizing he was trying to focus. I lifted my book and stuck my nose in between the pages.
He reached over and set down my book. I looked over at him and he raised his eyebrows. I brought my knees up to my chest.
"Did you know Jake was on the hockey team?" I asked. He pursed his lips and shrugged. I looked down at the table.
"He wants me to come to his game" I mumbled. Matt stared at me. I rested my chin on my knee before tilting my head towards him.
"Will you go with me? I mean--If I went to the game?" I asked him. He stared at me as if contemplation crossed his face.
He shrugged.
I swallowed and looked down. "I think he wants to be my friend" I stated. I felt Matt's gaze burn into me. I looked up at him he just slowly shook his head. "What?" I asked. He just shook his head.
"Do you not like him or something?" I asked. He sighed and shrugged, annoyance crossing his face. I sighed and picked up my book as I looked at the page.
"Well I think he's nice" I breathed. Matt looked up from his page and looked at me. I didn't turn to look back at him.
-
I smiled as I pushed the doors of the gym open. Matt followed reluctantly behind me. I pulled the jacket tightly over myself as I turned around to look at him.
"This is fun right? I've never been to a hockey game before" I smiled up at him. Blank stare. I smiled and grabbed his arm as I drug him towards the bleachers. He tensed under my touch.
I sat down and he sat next to me as the players skated on the ice in front of us. I looked over at Matt who watched the players on the ice. I shrugged the jacket off my shoulders.
"Do you want your jacket back? I think it's colder in here than outside" I chuckled as I pulled my arm out. He looked down at me and shook his head. I furrowed my eyebrows. "Are you sure?" I asked. He nodded and leaned back.
I pulled the jacket back over me.
"Suit yourself" I mumbled as I looked back towards the ice. My eyes grazed over the players. I spotted one with longer, flowy blonde hair. I tilted my head as he turned. It was Jake. I smiled and he glanced over the bleachers before his eyes landed on me.
He smiled and waved. I smiled and waved back. He turned before he skated in position to start the game.
"See" I leaned over to Matt. "He's nice" I smiled. He raised his eyebrows and bit his lip nodding sarcastically. I pushed him. "Don't be rude" I chuckled. He looked away.
Matt stood up and I looked up at him. He pointed towards the concession stand. I nodded and looked back towards the game. He pointed towards me. I looked up.
"I don't want anything" I shook my head. He just blinked at me for a second before he walked off the bleachers without another word, as I refocused on the game. The puck went into the air and they fought for it.
I didn't really know how hockey worked, and I didn't even know how to skate. Honestly the sport of hockey seemed hard to someone liked me. I couldn't really tell where the puck was, they moved to fast for me to see.
A few minutes passed before Matt came back and handed me an apple. I looked up at him.
"I didn't ask for anything" I said. He sighed and sat down before pulling out his phone and typing something. He moved his phone over to show me.
They didn't have any strawberries, blueberries, or blackberries.
I smiled and chuckled before remembering our previous conversation about my fruit chocies. I shook my head as I took a bite of the apple.
"You have to stop feeding me" I smiled shaking my head. “But thank you” I smiled leaning into him briefly. He just looked down at me. I lifted off of him and leaned forward. He blinked at me for a second before he opened his bottle of Pepsi.
The game wasn't much of anything. It was a back and forth of angry men hitting each other and a puck sometimes going into the goal. I would have been bored out of my mind If I wasn't thinking about what to say to Jake after the game.
If he even wanted to talk to me. If he had other friends waiting to talk to him. Not that he considered me a friend yet, but—I don't know. I pushed my hair behind my face as they skated off the ice.
Matt was quick to stand up. I looked up at him, still sitting.
"Wait, I want to talk to Jake before we go" I breathed. He let out a breath and his jaw hardened as he reluctantly sat back down. It wasn't 5 minutes later before Jake pushed out of the locker room and his eyes landed on me.
I looked over at Matt.
"I'll be right back" I stated, he didn't react. He just looked at me as I stood up and walked off the bleachers towards the boy with flowing blonde hair.
"Hey" He breathed pushing his sweaty hair back. "Hey" I smiled back. "I was happy to see you show up. I didn't think you would" He smiled down at me as he pulled his bag over his shoulder. I smiled and nodded.
"So what are you doing now? Do you want to come eat with some of me and my friends?" He breathed. I blinked up at him not expecting the sudden invitation. I opened my mouth and turned to see Matt still sitting there staring at us.
"Is that who you came with?" Jake's voice brought be back to him. I blinked up at him. "Matt? Yeah, we're friends" I nodded. He furrowed his eyebrows down at me and gave me a weird look.
"What?" I laughed lightly. He shook his head looking off.
“No, I think that's cool. It's just--" He cringed. "Does he talk to you? I don't think i've even seen that kid say a word, he's kind of like a ghost" He chuckled. I raised my eyebrows and looked at my feet.
"I mean he-" I swallowed trying to find the right words. Jake just looked down at me. I felt the pressure from his gaze. "He's a good friend" I nodded blankly. Jake shook his head and chuckled as he looked down at me.
"Is that his jacket?" He pointed to the jacket around my shoulder. I looked down at the jacket over me. "Yeah he---we're friends" I shrugged. Jake nodded and rocked back on his heels.
"Okay" He nodded. I smiled and nodded. "So? Food? Me and my friends?" He asked raising his eyebrows. The words friends rang in my ear. I really wanted to go, but I really didn't want to leave Matt.
"I still need help with that biology thing, we could go to my house after" He smiled tilting his head showing his lop-sided smile. I took in a breath as my mind raced back and forth.
Jake
Matt
Jake
Matt
Jake-
"I-" I turned around to look at Matt but he was gone. My eyes widened as I searched the crowd for a second. Fuck. I turned back to Jake.
"I'm so sorry. Can you just give me one second?" I breathed as I backed away. He chuckled and nodded as he turned. "If you wanna come, my car's out back. You know which one" He smiled before turning away.
The memory of his white leather seats washed over me and I almost forgot what I was doing. Fuck, Matt.
I turned as I pushed through the crowd of people trying to exit the gym. I wasn't that tall so I attempted to look for the brown hair I was searching for, but I couldn't find it.
I pushed out of the doors into the parking lot. I turned in circles before I saw him walking towards the sidewalk. I groaned in annoyance as I chased after him.
"Matt" I yelled. He just kept walking. I ran up to him and grabbed his arm, pulling him back. He looked down at me.
"Matt, what are you doing? Why did you leave?" I asked shaking my head. He glanced behind me and then back down to me.
"You totally just left me in there" I laughed lightly, but slightly frustrated. He’s too good at running away and damn was he fast.
He scowled at me and shook his head before he started walking again. I followed him.
"Wait, what is your problem?" I asked glaring at him. He let out a breath and shook his head before shrugging.
"Is it Jake? Do you not like him or something?" I asked shaking my head trying to understand. He just blinked at me and then shrugged. I looked down at my feet and let go of a breath.
I turned around and saw Jake's car parked outside and a few people crowding around it. I turned back to Matt.
"He wants me to go hang out with him and his friends" I breathed looking up at him. Matt didn't turn to look at the group. His face didn't even change, but his eyes did.
"I wasn't gonna go but-"
He sighed and looked behind me and motioned towards the group. I turned and looked at the group.
"Y/n!" I heard Jake's voice. He waved me over. I looked back at Matt. "Do you care?" I whispered. He paused before shaking his head. I swallowed tapping my foot.
"I'll see you tomorrow then?" I said. He just looked at me and then shrugged. I gave him a smile before turning and walking towards the group.
Then, I paused before walking back over to Matt quickly.
"Matt, wait" I breathed. He turned and looked at me raising his eyebrows, slightly smiling. I shrugged off the jacket.
"Your jacket" I said as I held it out for him to take. His expression became unreadable as I took the jacket out of my hand.
"I'll..see you" I gave a small smile. He stared blankly at me as I turned around and walked away.
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jinnie-ret · 7 months
Note
9th member reader where skz are on a talk show or smth and the host is saying some uncomfy stuff abt reader being the only girl in a group of boys. the boys would be kinda passive aggressive about their replies because they cant outright say anything for fear of bad publicity and being disrespectful. i like the idea of the boys sticking up for reader in any way they can, even if they have to be sly about it so reader knows they have their back
bite my tongue
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stray kids x ninth member!reader
genre: angst
content warnings: sexual harassment (verbal)
word count: 1.6k
summary: when an interviewer decides to pick on you specifically, the boys do their best to hold back and get you out of the situation.
Thank you so much for this request! I'm sorry it took so long for me to answer but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!!
As always, like, reblog if you enjoyed, and my asks are open for any requests you may have. And let me know if you'd like to be tagged when I post :)
MAIN MASTERLIST
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You decided you hated interviews. There was clearly a difference between how they'd talk to the boys in comparison to how they'd treat you. Whether it was by completely ignoring your existence or sexualising you as the only female in the group, it made you feel awful. The gross comments that were made caused you to feel uncomfortable, yet your demeanour was too shy to fight back. Perhaps that was a good thing, you had 8 other members to defend you at all times anyways.
You were currently doing an interview to promote S-CLASS, your new title track, and it seemed to be a nice atmosphere, a nice sit down conversation where you could talk about your music mixed in with other personal questions to make it more fun. But that was the issue, it wasn't fun. It started off light-hearted, and you worried you were being sensitive and overreacting at first when you suspected the questions you received weren't normal ones, but by the expressions on the boys' faces, you realised you were right to feel this way.
"So, Y/N, tell me, what was it like getting to do a more masculine dance this time? I saw the music video and I was quite surprised at how well you did," the male interviewer started off.
You mouth visibly dropped open in shock, yet you did your best to answer, despite your nerves.
"Ummm, I think my dance skills have improved over the years, yes," you said, not able to make eye contact with the man, not directly saying anything about his prejudiced words.
You had been with Stray Kids from the very start. Yes, the public had their things to say about you being in a group with a bunch of guys, but it had been 5 years now. Of course you were accustomed to the dance style of Stray Kids. You had created your own image through your music and dance, so what if the dance moves were typically more powerful with sharper movements? You were part of the dance line for a reason.
"Our Y/Nnie did so well," Hyunjin ruffled your hair from where he was sat behind you, trying to lighten the mood as he could tell his other members weren't too happy with how you were being treated.
You turned to Hyunjin with a thankful smile.
"So, 3RACHA, you do all the producing for the group right? That's quite a unique situation amongst idol groups," the man asked the group, and nearly everyone let out a sigh of relief and allowed themselves to smile, grateful for a normal question.
"Ah yes, 3RACHA have been together since predebut, so we've worked hard over the years to create music that represents our group and who we are," Jisung nodded and explained.
You couldn't help but check the time on your watch, seeing there was still 10 minutes to go.
"Y/N, how did it feel having to squeeze into your outfit in the MV? I noticed it was quite a tight leather jumpsuit you wore, that must have been difficult to wear considering it clinged onto you so tightly," the man directed his question at you again, and you were taken aback once more.
"It, umm, it wasn't too difficult, yeah... I think it fitted the vibe of the song," you said, clearly uncomfortable as you shifted in your seat.
Why did you get these types of questions? The boys got asked about music, and you instead got ridiculed for your skills and sexualised by the gross man in his mid 40s.
"Don't you want to ask me about how I fitted into my outfit? I've been working out these days," Changbin tensed his arms, flexing and patting his muscles proudly as he took the attention away from you. He seemed to have been thinking the same way as you.
"Maybe you should help Y/N, she's so small and weak, you could do anything you wanted with her," the man suggestively wiggled his eyebrows at you, and quite frankly, you wanted to throw up.
"Have you been working out, sir?" Minho spoke sharply and asked the man, infuriated.
"Oh yes I'm quite strong, can lift just about anyone in this room," he said. The statement of course, inferred he was challenging everyone else, yet his eyes never left your shy and nervous figure sat on the stool.
Everyone could see it. And they knew it was time for something to be done. They didn't think they could last the rest of the interview without punching the interviewer in the face. Yet, they did their best to keep their composure.
"Sorry, sir," Chan began through gritted teeth, tongue poking his cheek, "unfortunately we don't have anymore time for this interview," and he gestured everyone to stand up and follow his lead, exiting the room.
As you did so, you saw the blatantly shocked face on the man's face, Felix wrapping an arm around your shoulder as you left.
The boys were calm, until you made it to your backstage room where you had gotten ready earlier. All hell broke loose.
"What does that man think he's doing?" Changbin slammed his hand down onto the table, making you jump as you stayed quiet.
"I can't believe all those stupid things he was saying!" Minho growled, folding his arms.
"He's disgusting," Seungmin shook his head.
Chan was the angriest of them all, face of thunder as he paced the room. And yet, you couldn't help but feel bad. Surely, that interview couldn't be released now? And it was meant to help promote your new music, and because of your presence in the group, you felt like you were taking that opportunity away from them.
"Y/Nnie?" Jeongin waved his hand in your face to get your attention.
"Hmm?" you shook your head wondering what he was asking.
"Are you okay?" he asked gently, and with all the anger that was in the room, it dissipated with your calm voice breaking through it.
"I guess..." you didn't really know what to say at this point. You felt like you should have been used to it by now.
"I know that look on your face, Y/Nnie, don't even go there," Chan shook his head at you, a frown still present on his face.
"I don't want to do interviews anymore," you suddenly blurted, fiddling with your hands nervously.
"Y/N..." Hyunjin sighed, but you cut him off.
"Every time we promote something we get an interview like this that can't be put out to the public. And it's because I'm here. And then that means our music will be getting out to less people out there and-" you fretted.
"If you seriously think this is your fault Y/N," Seungmin sat up, pure disbelief seeping through his words as he couldn't believe that even with the way you were being treated you still felt guilty.
"Y/N, you didn't make that interviewer say all those gross things towards you," Felix rubbed your shoulder soothingly.
"You actually did really well to still try and answer him," Jisung nodded at you, thinking that he wouldn't have been able to have done the same thing.
"I had to bite my tongue so many times to not shout at him," Changbin gritted his teeth.
"This is why I shouldn't do these anymore, because it just ends up stressing you guys out," you felt bad, sitting down with your leg bouncing up and down.
"You're worried about us? We're worried about you, it's not fair that someone talks to you like that," Jeongin shook his head, hands on his hips.
"Y/N, here's what we're going to do. First, we're going to file a complaint against that guy. And second, for all future interviews we'll get the company to do a thorough check on if they're respectful and actually treat their guests right," Chan began, a plan already sorted in his mind for what action they could take.
"You're part of this group as much as anyone else, we can't represent Stray Kids without you there with us," Minho said like it was obvious, but it didn't feel that way to you.
"But it's always going to be the same thing. I'd rather not risk it again," you say, upset at the situation you had all been put in.
"Chan hyung already said, we can check what the show is like before going on it. That way you can decide from there, yeah?" Felix suggested, hand stroking through your hair as he sat next to you on the sofa.
"Or if you really don't want to do interviews anymore, I'm sure there's a way we can work around it. We could do more company based promotions and Div.1 can help us make our own shows?" Jisung wondered.
"No, I don't want to make things more complicated... I'll do them, I will, I just don't want this to ever happen again. It stresses me out, makes me feel all, gross," you shuddered.
"As long as you're sure, Y/N," Changbin checked in on you as everyone grabbed their things ready to leave the studio.
"Yeah, I'm sure," you mustered up a small smile, leaving with the others.
As you walked to the cars, you spoke up again, speaking louder than your normal quiet voice to catch the attention of everyone else.
"Thanks, by the way guys. Thank you for doing that."
"You don't have to thank us for that, Y/Nnie. We'd do that anytime, you know that," Hyunjin ruffled your hair, him and the rest of the boys now seeming more themselves and happier as you were leaving.
tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng
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ddejavvu · 8 months
Note
Hii, I hope you’re having great day/night. I just wanted to say that I absolutely love your Aaron writing, especially Aaron Hotchner x single mom!reader. I read your requesting rules and I hope that this qualifies (I’m really sorry if it doesn’t), but I’ve been thinking about this concept for a while so I thought I’d give it a try. I absolutely adored how reader’s child always adored Hotchner but this time I was thinking what about reader’s daughter (around 4 or 5) who actually feels intimidated by Hotch (because you know this ‘scary bossman persona’) or maybe reader’s daughter that is not the biggest fan of Hotch and is possibly very sassy with him and is protective of her mum but reader and Hotch have this slightly flirty or like the very beginning of their relationship with a possibly fluffy/happy ending if that’s possible.
You really do feel bad knocking on Hotch's office door at 7:30 in the morning, for both your sleepy daughter and your formidable boss. He's a kind man, you know that with all of your heart, but to your tiny four-year old, he's tall, mean, and scary.
"Come in," Hotch calls, his voice muffled through the door. At the sound, your daughter curls tighter into your embrace, whining pitifully through the blanket that she's wrapped around her head.
"I know, Olivia," You hum, trying to soothe her nerves, "Just for a minute. You can sit on the couch, that's all."
She squirms in your hold while you open the door, smiling hesitantly when Hotch looks up from his paperwork to find you cradling your groggy daughter.
"She's got a cold, and the sitter cancelled," You lament, "And- uh, I need to use the bathroom."
You're constantly surprised at how strongly Aaron cares for children, because someone with his scowl doesn't seem the type. But his eyes flash with worry, and he leans back from his desk in his chair, "Do you think she'll let me hold her?"
Olivia writhes in your hold, a firm no.
"It's okay," You hum, kissing her head though it helps little, "It's okay, baby, I'm gonna put you on the couch, okay? Get cozy with your blanket," You hum, laying her on the cushions before she has the chance to curl her fingers into your blouse and never let go, "And just try to sleep, I'll be back in just a few minutes, okay?"
She moans something that sounds an awful lot like 'not okay!' but you can't afford to listen, not when your bladder is making its contents uncomfortably known.
"Okay, I'll- I'll be right back," You promise Hotch, straightening your clothes that were wrinkled by your clingy daughter, "I'm sorry about this, I'll make sure she's at home tomorrow."
"Don't worry about it," Hotch urges, "Go, I'll make sure she's okay."
"Thanks," You grin, exhaustion seeping over your features after the long, nearly sleepless night you'd had. You duck out of Hotch's office with no further delay, rushing over to the elevator bay and the bathrooms on the other side of it.
"Olivia," Hotch hums after a moment of silence where the little girl tries burrowing between his couch cushions to escape his presence, "Did your mommy give you medicine already?"
She's scared, but she's still polite.
"Yes," She calls, from inside of her blanket cocoon, but there's no further response.
"Alright," Aaron hums quietly, fingers fiddling awkwardly with his pen, "Do you want anything to eat or drink?"
"No."
'Okay. Just... let me know if you need anything, okay?" He calls, any foolish hope he'd had of connecting with the little girl seeping out of his chest when she doesn't answer.
--
Thirteen minutes. It takes you thirteen minutes to get through the line outside of the restroom, who knew this place would be so packed early in the morning? It takes you longer still to actually use the bathroom, and you're teetering on twenty minutes when you jog back up the stairs of Hotch's office to collect your sullen kid.
You don't bother knocking, too rushed to get inside and apologize for sticking Hotch with your sick, terrified toddler for almost half an hour, and to apologize to Olivia for abandoning her with the big scary man who tells you what to do all day.
But Hotch isn't displeased with your rather impolite and abrupt entrance, staying silent as he peers over the blanket hood that Olivia has fashioned for herself. She's held against his chest, her clammy face tucked against his tie. His arms hold her tight and close, and he bounces her ever-so-slightly up and down as he soothes her whiny cries.
"Your mommy's here," He hums, craning his neck down to peer at her, and you're still partially frozen in shock at seeing Olivia cradled up in the arms of the man she runs from at dinner parties, "Would you like to see her?"
Olivia's responsive whine is less-than-clear, neither a yes nor a no. But you advance anyways, eyes surely showcasing your surprise at Hotch's sudden success with your daughter. Upon closer inspection, her tiny hand is gripping his tie tightly, the way that she holds the collar of your shirt when she doesn't want you to let her go. She's all bundled up and sniffling against his chest, surely feeling the symptoms of her cold that the medicine didn't cover.
"My poor baby," You lament, leaning down to kiss her forehead. It puts your face tantalizingly close to Hotch's own, and you'd be lying if you said you weren't feeling some butterflies through your stomach at the sight of him bouncing your baby girl in his arms, "Will you come with me? We can go sit at mommy's desk, and you can go to sleep."
This time, you understand her response.
"No!" She whines, desperately burrowing further into Hotch's warm embrace, "I'm- tired!" She sobs, voice raw from crying, "I want to stay!"
Before you can figure out how to bargain her out of Aaron's arms and into your own he shushes her, leaning down to kiss her feverish temple like she's his own. The sight flips your stomach even further, and you're very glad Aaron can't read your mind at the moment.
"It's okay. You can stay here if you really want to. Are you sure?" He squeezes her to prompt a response, but the only one she gives is nodding her head and pressing her face into his tie.
"Hotch, I'm sorry-" You start, but he smiles kindly, warmly up at you.
"It's alright. I can keep her in here for a bit, if you want to get started for the day."
"But you've got work to do. And you might get sick," Your shoulders slump, because even though you're thrilled that Olivia has finally seemed to get over her Hotchnerphobia, you don't want to push your luck after being fifteen minutes late to retrieve your daughter that isn't supposed to be here in the first place.
"Easy paperwork," Hotch waves it off, smiling as Olivia readjusts her grip on his tie, "Just signatures, really. I've got time. Plus, if I'm gonna get sick, it'll probably be from Jack. He brings home germs from school all the time."
"That's their special talent," You muse, stroking a hand over Olivia's wispy hair, "If you're sure..."
"I'm sure, Y/N," Aaron nods, continuing to bounce her lightly in his arms with a fond grin while her eyes remain loosely shut, "I finally got her to like me - I'm not sure I'd be able to put her down if she did want to go with you."
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owliellder · 8 months
Text
The Finer Details
Post DI! Leon Kennedy x Painter f! Reader
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MDNI 18+
(Session 1, Session 2, Session 3, Session 4, Session 5, The Reveal)
Description: Leon realizes that retirement is in his best interest now that he's getting older. All of his accomplishments as an agent mean he's truly earned a painting to commemorate..
Warnings: Not Proofread, Age gap! (reader is anywhere between mid-late 20's and Leon is 40), Porn w/ Plot, Use of she/her pronouns, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alcoholism, mentions of trauma/PTSD/depression, P in V smut (wrap it NEOW), Leon cries during sex 💔
Tags: Older Leon Kennedy, Younger afab!Reader, Leon is SAD but he is your muse, Crying, mentions of Leon masturbating, starts off with Dom! Leon and Sub! Reader, falls into switch territory because that man needs some serious TLC, Praise kink, Hickeys, Handjob, Nipple play, Oral sex (m! and f! receiving), and a heavy dose of Aftercare
Author Note: You know how each president of the U.S. gets a painting at the end of their term? I'm thinking like that. Plus, my favorite hobby is recreating renaissance art, so I figured this was a good fit (hopefully).
Cross posted onto AO3
Session 1: The Sketches
It was late at night when Leon made his decision to retire fully.
He had gotten home over an hour ago from reviewing mountains of paperwork, most of which pertained to missions that other agents have gone on or will be going on.
Younger agents. More energized agents.
The fact that he hadn't gone on a full mission since San Francisco was driving him up the wall. But that's what he wanted. He requested to hang back the last two years.
Both Chris and Claire had fully retired themselves right after San Fran, Claire being the first to retire to focus on her growing family with Chris following suit only a few months later. Jill was still around, but she was doing similar work that Leon was, only she was in a completely different department which was states away.
Of course Leon still talked with them all as regularly as possible, he'd go insane if he didn't, especially with Claire having a couple kids now. He wasn't the greatest with children, but it was refreshing seeing his friends achieve such normalcy. He wanted them to have the best life they could away from everything.
Having turned 40 a few some months ago, Leon was having a bit of a mid-life crisis. The mission to San Francisco a couple years ago had made him realize just how much toll the job itself had taken on his body. After being assessed and allowed home a few nights after returning from the mission, his body ached; joints creaking, back nearly thrown, just... tired.
Don't get him wrong, he was always tired after missions, but this was different. This wasn't just the regular aches and pains he dealt with after being tossed around like a rag doll, this was age.
Deep in his mind, Leon was still that 21 year old boy in Raccoon City. He never got the chance to properly grieve and move on, his mind forever changed by that event. Mentally, he was stuck there and had been this entire time.
It had taken the man this long to truly recognize the fact that he's older now. He's not that boy from Raccoon City anymore. He hadn't been in a long time.
What was he do to now? Leon had wanted so badly to serve and protect the people, but not like this. Not like he has for the past 29 years.
He spent his most formative years fighting unimaginable horrors, watching people suffer, watching people die. You don't just come back from something like that.
And unlike the friends he's managed to keep close, Leon didn't have someone he trusted. Hell, he barely trusted himself most days.
So now here he was, sitting drunk in his shower with his legs pulled up to his chest, his arms resting atop his knees while the water pelted down on him, silently mulling over everything he's ever seen and done during his time as an agent.
The water had grown cold at this point, Leon having quickly lost track of how long he was sitting spaced out like that for. Thankfully, he'd already cleaned himself before he ended up sitting down, so the hardest part now was just standing back up to get himself back out.
It took him a couple more minutes before he finally hoisted himself up with a tired groan, both his knees popping from being stuck in position for such a lengthy amount of time.
Once out of the shower, towel loosely wrapped around his waist, Leon stared at himself in the mirror; busy studying the crow's feet on both outer corners of his eyes as well as the prominent bags sitting under them, the smile line around his mouth, his now brown hair, the stubble on his face and neck that's he's neglected to shave, and just how exhausted he looked.
How has he never noticed any of this before? Why's he look so different now?
Settling into bed after this brutal realization was a tough task. The man followed his nightly routine of taking four Tylenol and two of his prescription sleep meds before setting his a/c 65 degrees Fahrenheit. He learned quickly many years ago that tossing and turning at night would make him overheat and sweat.
But tonight, nothing Leon did could ease that sinking feeling in his chest, that feeling of unfulfillmemt and shame weighing on him more than ever before.
The poor man barely slept at all last night, hangover evident by the way he was still slightly uneven on his feet as he leaned over the center island in his kitchen, head between his forearms while his hands sat clasped together.
Leon knew what he had to do. He's been feeling it ever since Chris and Claire made their departure, but it was so easy to deny. How was he suppose to give up the one thing that made him important? Sure the stress of his work was heavily tasking on the mind and body, but it's what gave him purpose. He felt useful doing what he did.
The man showed up for work late that day, barely having managed to dress himself. He didn't know exactly who to go to in this scenario, but everyone seemed surprised that the Leon Kennedy would show up for work in some ratty t-shirt and grey sweatpants. The stares were making him incredibly uncomfortable and he was quickly regretting showing up at all.
After sitting in his own office for awhile to avoid the looks and whispers, Leon eventually sauntered over to his superior's office, an almost solemn look on his face as he let himself in after knocking.
Needless to say, Leon was relieved his superior knew this was coming. Slightly offended, but relieved nonetheless.
It had been a long time coming, and it was only a matter of time before Leon threw in the towel, especially since he was now just working behind the scenes instead of on the frontline.
He was allowed to return home for the rest of the day if he wanted to, which Leon quickly took. He really didn't want to be in that building for much longer.
As soon as he returned home he went right back to drinking. And as ashamed as he is to admit, he even cried a little, half empty whiskey bottle in one hand while the other was clenched tightly into a fist as he gripped the pant leg of his sweats.
There wasn't anyone Leon could talk to about this. Chris and Claire had their own respective partners to come home to after retirement, but Leon? Leon had nothing besides a dingy and cold two bedroom house with only the basics inside, including his alcohol cabinet.
The man didn't even give himself time to date, only the occasional one night stand with randoms from the bar. He was too afraid that he would endanger anyone he allowed into his life like that, not to mention he'd been betrayed one too many times to trust in someone that way again. It was his way of keeping himself and everyone else safe.
The therapists he was assigned throughout the years all had the same concern regarding his love life, and deep down Leon was just as concerned, but he rationalized it with that hero complex he developed.
But he just couldn't rationalize it anymore. Leon was alone. He was alone, sad, and afraid.
About a month after Leon's retirement was processed and announced, word spread quickly throughout numerous government branches. There was a celebration set up at the White House to honor his service as a field agent.
The President had separated him and Leon from the party to slowly walk through the many hallways in the building. The old man could tell just how bothered the now ex-agent was by his retirement, so he figured now would be the best time to talk to him about his final task.
"You know," The President spoke up after a couple minutes of the two walking in silence, prompting Leon to slowly turn his head to listen. "I'm sure you've heard it so many times tonight, but you truly were one of the best agents I've ever seen."
Leon chuckled quietly, shaking his head a bit at the compliment. He had heard it a lot tonight, but obviously it was different coming from him.
"I'm serious. This county, probably the entire world, would've been in shambles if not for your hours spent." The President continued, slowing his walking to a stop.
"It means more than you know." Leon responded simply, voice a bit gravelly from the few drinks he's had. He took a couple steps more before stopping as well, turning around to face the prominent old man.
The President sighed, giving him a sympathetic smile while nodding. They stood in silence for a brief moment before the old man spoke up again, pointing lazily down the hall. "Follow me, I've got something I want to show you."
From there, the two wandered further down the halls until eventually reaching one hall that had lights more centered towards the walls, highlighting the picture frames that sat evenly spaced out amongst them.
Leon seemed a tad confused until he was able to focus on the first painting they walked by. He knew each president got a portrait painted after their full term was served, but the man in this painting wasn't a past president.
He stopped walking to stand in front of the painting, admiring the details it had before glancing down at the bottom of the elegant frame, a placard reading a name he didn't recognize. What he did recognize, though, was the word Agent that sat in front of the man's name.
While zoned into the placard, Leon didn't register the gentle hand that had been clasped on his shoulder, the President's voice breaking through his trance. "For as long as there's been bioweapons, we've had agents fighting to stop them. But only a few agents have truly outdone themselves. Agents like you."
Leon blinked a couple times before turning his head to look at the hand on his shoulder, eyebrows furrowed. He wasn't quite understanding what he was saying.
The President took his silence as a cue to continue, his sympathetic smile turning into a happier one as he gently tugged Leon's shoulder to get him to start walking again. "The D.S.O. has produced some of the greatest agents since Benford created it back in 2011. You were amazing before, but you've outdone yourself time and time again."
Leon still wasn't quite understanding, really only half listening as he kept his eyes trained to the numerous portraits of agents as he slowly passed them.
The two stopped in front of the last painting in the hallway, only a few spots away from leading into another hallway. It was Chris and Claire in this painting. Chris was sitting down in a chair while Claire stood next to him, hand resting on back of it, both of them smiling.
He studied the painting for a minute longer before whipping his head around to face the President, who was still smiling, as the realization slowly settling in.
"I-" Leon struggling to speak, glancing back at the painting before quickly looking back at the old man standing next to him.
The President simply nodded his head, smile widening with a gentle laugh. "Right. The painting process takes a bit of time, but I think you've more than earned this."
The ex-agent had so many questions. Firstly, why hadn't Chris or Claire mentioned this? But more importantly, he gets to have his own portrait painted?
"The painter knows all about you. She's excited to meet you." The President started down the hall again, Leon not far behind, still stuttering out nonsense as he attempted to form even a sentence. "I'll give you the information you need to get started with her. I have it written down back in my office."
A painting?
A painting. A painting for him. A painting to honor him. What?
Leon was once again sat on his couch, blankly staring at the small business card with a date and time written on it in pen. He'd read the info on the card so many times already, wanting to make sure he got absolutely nothing wrong.
Apparently he didn't have to call and confirm, all he had to do was show up to this random address at a specific date and time, which was soon. In a couple days kind of soon. Also, he thought he was reading the time wrong, but no, it was four in the morning, not four in the afternoon. What an odd and rather inconvenient time.
Even after memorizing the business card front to back, Leon would be lying if he said he didn't forget about meeting up with this mystery painter. He'd been rather aloof the past couple months, it was hard to pull himself out of that funk. He'd been staying up late and sleeping in even later, so hitting snooze on his alarm a good few times was just muscle memory at this point.
It was almost 5am when he realized where he was suppose to be, eyes shooting open as he yanked himself out of bed, desperately trying to clean himself up enough to be at least presentable.
The man was mentally chastising himself the entire drive. It was a short drive, which he was surprised by, and the building seemed quaint; red brick with large windows that sat on what looked like either a second or third floor.
He parked his bike right near what he assumed was the main door, pulling off his motorcycle helmet before knocking and waiting.
The last thing Leon was expecting was you to unlock and open that door; young and pretty, so pretty...
"Mr. Kennedy?" You asked, eyebrows raised slightly with a small smile. He nodded, just barely noticeable, reaching a gloved hand up to wipe at his eyes as he caught himself staring.
Your smile only widened at his nod, stepping aside to allow him into walk in. It took him a minute to realize you were still talking, shaking his head out to refocus himself.
"-again, really, no need to worry about being late. I was trying to work with your schedule but I should've known it's changed up a bit by now, right?" You lead him up a set of narrow stairs, though he was mostly following the smell of your perfume. It was such a light smell but he definitely picked up on it.
You opened a door immediately to the left of the stairs, letting Leon follow you inside. The sun was just starting to rise, shining through the large windows in the open room.
The place was cluttered, yet organized. Crowded, but that just made it all the cozier to Leon. His house was bare and lacked any sort of personality, but this... this place was covered in you.
"I'm glad you like it in here." You said in a quiet voice, looking up at him as he took in your workspace. He was smiling ever so slightly, which you mimicked with a smile of your own. "I try to make it welcoming in here, my apartment is the same way.."
Your voice trailed off as you walked over to a mostly put together set up near the back of the room where the only wall without windows sat. There was a chair sitting close to the wall, the same chair Chris was sitting in for his portrait with Claire, along with your easel sitting empty a few feet away.
Leon stood frozen, only moving his head around as he took everything in. He followed you with his eyes as you fumbled around with something, eventually producing a blank 24" x 36" canvas that was still wrapped in thin plastic.
His mouth made an 'o' shape as he pulled himself from his small trance once again, beginning to slowly make his way over to the set up you've made. He placed his helmet down on the floor beside the chair.
After placing the canvas on the easel, you walked back over to where you'd gotten the canvas from before grabbing a heavily used sketchbook. It was a large one, the paper a light brown instead of white.
Leon had only just realized that there was a faint sound of some form of classical music playing from somewhere in the room, glancing around for speakers before looking back over at you.
"I'm not getting started today, we're a couple steps away from that, so don't worry about appearance just yet." You said softly with a breathy laugh, quickly making your way back over to where he stood next to the plush chair in your setup, his hand feeling over the worn maroon fabric.
Leon nodded silently, moving to sit down once you requested he did, furrowing his eyebrows as he watched you drag over a small table. You worked fast, that's for sure.
Eventually, you'd set up a little tabletop easel to sit on the table you'd dragged in front of him, grabbing your swivel chair to sit in as you placed your sketchbook on the easel, open to a blank page.
"I just need to get some basic ideas of your facial structure since that's most important when it comes to these kinds of paintings. You're gonna be wearing a nice tuxedo when I do the second- no, third sketch for the final painting, but this is just for me to get a feel for you and vise versa." You rambled quickly, pulling out a pencil from one of your pockets before fully sitting down on the chair, bringing your legs up to sit criss cross.
"Uh.. Alright..." Leon responded, clearing his throat a bit. He didn't really understand what you'd said, you spoke a little too fast for his tired brain to keep up, but it seemed like whatever you were doing was necessary so he just rolled with it.
He was left a little speechless again at how you just began sketching, glancing up to his face and down to the page you were working on over and over. "...do you need me to, I don't know, pose or something?"
The way you kept looking at him was making feel a little uneasy. Granted he's never been in this sort of situation before, this whole process was very unfamiliar to him.
"No, no. You can move your head around and stuff. Get comfortable." You waved off, eyes wrinkling as you smiled at him. Leon nodded again, deciding to take the opportunity to look around your workspace again.
It really was a cozy space. Full of color and life, even the curtains you had lining the windows offered so much pattern and detail to the room. The back of the room where the two of you sat was more cluttered with less decor, but the front of the room was a whole different story with those massive floor pillows, blankets of all sorts strewn about, that big fluffy looking area rug, it was all so... homey. It was even inspiring him to decorate his own house a bit.
The sound of your pencil scribbling on paper and the faint sound of the classical music playing was all Leon could hear for awhile, eventually letting out an anxious sigh before beginning to talk. "So... a painter, huh..?"
"Oh yeah, I've been doing this since I was little. Obviously I wasn't that good back then, but I really improved after high school." You immediately responded, voice a little louder than his. Clearly the topic excites you. "If you want, I can hand you one of my other sketchbooks to look at while I do my thing over here?"
Leon patted his hands against the arms of the chair before nodding to the side, pursing his lips slightly. "Mm, sure. Let's see what ya got.."
As soon as he agreed, you stood up and shuffled over to the corner of the room where some desks sat arranged in a makeshift cubicle. You opened a drawer and pulled out a couple sketchbooks, still as raggedy as the one you were using now.
Walking back over, you carefully handed them to him, which he slowly took after meeting your eyes for a brief moment.
Once you made your way back to your chair, he placed both sketchbooks into his lap, opening up the one on top first. The man flipped through them silently as you began to sketch him out again.
You'd zoned into your work, adding just a bit of shading to your sketches to help emphasis some features when Leon cleared his throat again. You leaned to the side to look at him, your smile quickly returning when you saw his baffled expression.
"These are... wow, okay, how old are you?" Leon asked, head jerking upwards to meet your gaze once more. You just giggled in response, using the pencil as a fidget before returning to sketching.
"Sorry-uh, I don't mean to come off as rude or anything, but to be honest, I was expecting you to be some old lady when I saw the portraits you've done." Leon was quick to try and explain, probably misinterpreting your lack of response for unease.
Your giggle turned to a small laugh, leaning to the side once more to look at the man. "Well, I'm glad I could surprise you a bit. Hopefully I don't look old."
Leon groaned and wiped his hand down his face. "Again, sorry. Didn't mean to imply." He shook his head and looked back down at the two sketchbooks sitting in his lap, continuing to flip through them.
It was only a couple hours until you decided you got a good enough feel for drawing his face. Grabbing the sketchbook, you stood up, pencil still in hand, looking down at the sketches you made as you slowly walked over to him.
The man noticed you standing up, quickly moving to close the sketchbooks you'd given him in favor of seeing your new sketches.
"I... I think this'll be enough today. I don't want to keep you too long." You said, handing him the sketchbook. Leon took it from you, careful not to smudge anything as he finally got to see what you've been doing for the past two hours.
He furrowed his eyebrows as he studied the sketches you'd made of his face, seeing all the different angles, even the smile, how'd you get his smile?
You seemed to grow nervous the longer he stared at your sketchbook in silence, his intense look making it seem as if he didn't really like them. "Are they... Are they okay?"
Leon jostled the sketchbook a bit in his hands before standing up, now towering over you as he kept his eyes on the paper. "Just okay? These are beyond amazing."
You let out a small breath you didn't notice you were holding, heat rushing to your cheeks as you smiled at his compliment. "Oh, thank you.. I'm sorry, normally sketches don't take this long but it was stressed to me that your portrait was very important so I wanted to get everything as perfect as I could.."
"Seriously, you're a mad woman if you think these wouldn't be good." Leon chuckled, handing the sketchbook back to you. He kept his eyes trained on you, even after you turned to look down and close the sketchbook. Only a fool would miss that blush on your cheeks, it looked good on you.
"Anyways, when should I come back for the next.. uh..." Leon paused, crossing his arms loosely as he struggled to think of the word.
Luckily, you finished the sentence for him. "Session. Again, this painting's importance was stressed to me a lot, so probably the next time you're available?" You talked while you shifted the small table back to where it had originally sat under one of the numerous windows, tossing the sketchbook down on the chair cushion.
"Alright, since it's importance has now been stressed to me as well, I can probably clear up some stuff in my schedule. How's tomorrow sound?" Obviously, Leon had a completely free schedule, but you didn't need to know that.
"Tomorrow works great! The sooner the better!" You laughed, placing a gentle hand on his bicep as you walked past him to grab a sticky note. "I'll give you my personal number, just let me know when you're thinking of coming over and I'll meet you here, okay?"
Leon looked at your number before pocketing the note, nodding his head with a smile of his own. "Sounds good. Same way out?" He pointed to the door that you brought him in through, bending down to pick up his motorcycle helmet right after.
You confirmed with a thumbs up, now drinking water from your water bottle as you'd forgotten too while focused on drawing. You felt bad for not offering him any water while he was here, but you won't forget next time.
The man gave you a curt wave before leaving the room, quietly shutting the door behind himself.
You had to admit, you've worked with a very small handful of agents since it takes a lot for them to earn their own portrait, but Leon Kennedy had to be the one of the most handsome men you've ever worked with. Maybe even one of the most handsome men you've ever seen.
Lucky you pay attention to detail, cause you definitely didn't see a ring on his finger.
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diaryofanidiot · 9 months
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The Experiments
Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!Reader
Chapter list: Prologue, <1>, 2, 3, 4, 5
Cw: Swearing; torture; blood; medical experiments; panic attacks; malnourishment
Summary: For over a year, Y/N was held in a soviet experimentation facility. Forced to fight and claw her way to live, she managed to stay alive. When the 141 rescues her, they get way more intel than bargained for.
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Chapter One
"What the bloody fuck is this..." A gruff voice spoke. I slowly looked up with wide eyes and nearly shat myself at the sight.
A giant behemoth of a man in a skull mask stood still, his body language relaxed but on guard as he stared in my direction.
His boots clunked heavily on the floor as he approached me, his gun still held at the ready but not pointed in my direction. I couldn't see his face, but his frown was apparent in his voice.
"Mactavish, I've found something... or someone, rather." He said, tuning in on his radio. I never once took my eyes off of him, unsure of if he was even real or not. Perhaps I had already died and this was the grim reaper to take me away...
"I don't understand, L.T." A staticky voice came through his radio.
"A woman. In a cage."
"Last I checked this wasn't a sex dungeon." The voice on the radio had a Scottish accent, dripping with amusement.
"Not joking." The British skull faced man said gruffly. "Finish clearing out the building. Then get to the rendezvous. I'll meet you there."
"Copy."
As he finished giving his orders, he knelt down next to the cage. "Who are you?" He demanded.
I scrambled back in the cage until the bars pressed against my bare back. I tried to speak, but my voice only came out in cracks after long-term misuse.
"Ah. Gotcha." He seemed to understand, or maybe he simply thought I was a mute. I saw his eyes flicker up toward the label on the cage.
"Subject 237: "Banshee"." He read aloud. "Stay where you are. I'm opening this blasted thing." He warned. "Try anything and you're dead."
I nodded slowly, desperate to let him know that I understood English. My eyes never left him as he shot the lock on the cage, despite my flinching at the sound.
"Out you go." He demanded, his gun still at the ready. My knees protested in pain as I crawled toward the entrance of my cramped confinement. I had almost forgotten about the chain and collar around my neck.
I could see his eyes widen slightly as I crawled into whatever light the room had offered; they darted around my scarred naked form as he observed me.
"Fuck did they do to you..." He mumbled below his breath.
The chains length only went so far for me to get an inch of room past the cage door. He knelt down in front of me. My traumatized brain flashing danger signs with every movement.
"I won't hurt you." He said in a low tone, one hand coming up to reassure me. "Not unless you try to hurt me. Just need to take this off..."
His hand darted toward the chain around my neck, causing me to flinch at the rapid movement. I could hear him curse underneath his mask as he realized a key was needed.
"Wait. Here." He ordered, standing back to full height before he went to raid the dead corpses in search of the key. He found it on the assistant's body with impressive speed before walking back over and swiftly removing the steel collar that kept me in place.
I hissed in pain once more as the cold damp air hit the sores on my neck, my hand going up to rub them instinctively. His hand was on my wrist now, stopping me from rubbing.
"We should get a doctor on that. Or on you in general..." His gun was lowered now, seeing as I had made no room to attack him. "Do you have a name?"
Once his hand was off my wrist, I pointed a shakey finger toward the label on the cage. He shook his head at this. "No, that's what they called you. I mean a real name." He insisted.
I frowned and looked to the ground. I had one. Over the course of a year, somehow, it had fled my memory. Nobody called me it anymore anyway. I turned my gaze back toward him with an apologetic look.
He sighed. "No matter. It'll come back to you. Let's get you out of here."
He swiftly walked over toward the scientist and removed the lab coat from the corpse.
"Put this on." He demanded, handing it to me. I complied. The fabric swallowed my malnourished body as I looked down, as if just now realized how gaunt my once healthy body had become.
He seemed to be looking at me expectantly. My legs tried to hold me up, screaming in agony as I stood slowly with atrophied muscles. I stumbled, my knees slamming against the linoleum tile. I cringed in pain as they did.
"Fuck." I heard him say before I was lifted and thrown over his shoulder. "Let's get you out of here." I watched as he seemed to notice a file on the table... my file. He snatched it up quickly and stored it away before the same voice I had heard earlier came in on the radio.
"L.T., you copy?"
He spoke into his radio with a sense of urgency. "Aye."
"I'm at the Rendezvous point now. The building's cleared, so you should have a clear path as long as there's no stragglers."
"You have my appreciation." If it were possible to hear a smirk, you could swear he wore one under the mask.
"Get here safely, and you'll have mine, Sir."
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The radio went silent once more as I was carried out to the hall like a rag doll. Hell, I probably weighed less than one at this point. My eyes were wide as I saw all the death that littered the building.
Unable to push down the sick sense of satisfaction that came from seeing my tormentors dead on the ground, I managed the smallest hint of a smile. The first one I've worn in what seemed like forever.
The man on the radio was right. A path was completely cleared, seeing as my rescuer never once had to stop for any threats.
Until we exited the building, at least...
Gunshots were pouring out as my eyes adjusted to the rising sun, unaccustomed to the light. I felt my body thrown behind something as my rescuer took cover beside me, firing multiple shots.
Once my eyes adjusted, I blinked them open to see we were behind a set of barrels. I managed a small peak at our assailants before I was forced back behind the cover with an angry "stay."
I frowned as he continued making his shots before requesting backup. I guessed the soviets really didn't want him escaping this one with how many men were sent.
Opening my mouth to try to speak, my voice cracked and strained severely. "Ears..." I mustered. I saw his eyes flicker to me for half a second before refocusing on his targets.
"Ears." I tried again, miming for him to cover them.
"Noise reduction headphones, kid." He said gruffly. It was then I noticed that his ears were already covered.
I glanced back once more, placing a hand on his arm to prepare him slightly as I gathered all the strength I could.
I screamed. The supernatural-esque sound reached nearly two hundred decibles, equivalent to a large bomb. I heard glass shattering and the sounds of people crying out in pain. My throat was raw by the time I let my screaming fade to an end.
The enemy gunfire ceased, and even the man beside me looked temporally disoriented. He grunted as he got his bearings back and shot those writhing on the ground in pain. They weren't wearing ear protection, I noted, finally looking up from my spot behind the steel barrels. They must've been deployed in a hurry.
Once the waves of gunfire ceased, I heard a shuffling motion and a click beside me. My rescuers gun was now to my head.
I looked at him with wide, fearful eyes as he stared me down.
"What the fuck are you?" He demanded. I flinched, but the scream had left my throat too damaged to speak. I could only croak out a few sounds, none of them enough for form even a single word.
"Don't. Move." He demanded, pulling out the file he had snatched earlier from its space between his vest and his chest.
I watched him with unblinking eyes as he opened it. "Are you even human anymore?" He asked seemingly to himself as he scanned the front page of the file.
Something he read caught his eye before his gaze landed on my frightened expression once more. "Show me your teeth."
Hesitantly, I opened my mouth. The barrel of his gun moving to pull my lip back further. I could've sworn I stopped breathing as he revealed the pair of sharp fangs that had been surgically fastened to my canines. His eyes then lowered to my throat. Underneath the sores was a jagged surgical scar where they had altered my vocal chords.
I couldn't read his expression due to his mask, and his eyes said nothing.
"You scream like that again and I'll kill you." He stated matter-of-factly. He didn't seem to care that I just gave him a major advantage against his enemies. I watched him cancel the request for backup before I was thrown over his shoulder once more.
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The Rendezvous wasn't far; he experienced no more hiccups in getting me there. I blinked as I observed the abandoned factory, the floor creaking with each of his heavy steps.
I felt my weak body stumble as I was set down on the floor. I winced in pain before a new set of footsteps approached.
"Good to see ya, Sir." The voice that once cracked through radio waves was now just in front of me. I looked up to put a face to a voice. This man wasn't masked, I managed to get a good look at his face.
"Sergeant." The tense tone in my rescuer's voice was gone now as he greeted the other. I listened in as he updated his teammate on the situation.
"Experiments?" His Scottish accent was thick with confusion. His attention turned to me as he knelt down to my place on the ground. He seemed to be observing me, a slight crease between his eyebrows as he did.
Not a trace of fear entered his eyes even once as he looked at me. "Call me Soap, lass."
I blinked at his friendliness, a stark contrast to the other man's battle hardened tone.
"That over there, That's Ghost. He's the one who got you out of there." Soap's hand went to his hip as he unlatched something from his vest and held it out to me. "You'll probably be wanting this."
It took a minute for me to realize what was in his hands but once it clicked, I snatched the canteen quickly and fumbled it open. I heard him chuckle as I drank greedily, the room temperature water doing wonders for my dry throat.
"Slow your roll and don't drown yourself." He lightly lectured as I pulled away in a coughing fit once my greed bit me in the ass by sending water down the wrong pipe.
I watched him turn to Ghost, a quizzical look in his eyes. "She doesn't appear dangerous."
"Appearances can decieve." Was Ghost's response. "Show him your teeth."
I cringed at having to go through this again before I bared my fangs hesitantly. "She was heavily altered. I'm assuming they were creating human weapons."
"That all?" Soap scoffed, seemingly not intimidated. Ghost shook his head.
"They called her Banshee. Her vocal cords are altered as well. I watched her practically burst the eardrums of five enemy soldiers. Hell, nearly had my own eardrums bleeding."
Soap nodded and took the canteen back as I handed it to him. "She's so scrawny. How long have you been there?" He asked me.
Ghost placed a hand on his shoulder. "Her voice is fried. Gonna have to get back to the compound and have a more thorough look at her file. Where are the others?"
Soap stood to his full height. "Gaz and Price are clearing out another facility nearby. They should be here soon."
A new voice called out, turning the heads of all three of us.
"Soon? Try now."
The two strangers, we'll at least strangers to me, walked up. The older man looked at me with an expression I couldn't quite identify before speaking.
"Ghost.... fill us in."
-----------------------------------
Typos? In my fanfic? Liar. (Pls point them out to me as we don't do roughdrafts in this household. We die like Roach here 🫡)
A/N: thank you all for the love this got from just the Prologue alone <3 sorry if anything feels off. I'm a secondhand fan and never touched the games lol.
Taglist: @warenai @linoskitten11 @jamesrifftapes
1K notes · View notes
sanguineterrain · 10 months
Text
redamancy | steve harrington
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Summary: redamancy (n.) - the act of loving someone who loves you back; a love returned in full // or, four times you kissed Steve Harrington, and one time he finally kissed you back.
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Word count: 5.2k
Warnings/tags: friends to lovers, 5+1 fic format, no use of y/n, FLUFF, PINING PINING, injured s4 steve, hospital setting, general vecna angst (eddie's alive bc i will never kill eddie in my fics), bed sharing, happy ending, and kissing. if that wasn't clear. :)
A/N: fun fact: this is the first time i've written a 5+1 fic! technically it's 4+1 but whatevs. if you enjoy this fic, please give it a reblog and support your local steve harrington tumblrina.
divider by firefly-graphics
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i. the promise 
"Would you ever get married?" 
You open your eyes. The setting sun nearly blinds you through the windshield. Immediately, you stick out a hand to block it. 
You're still reclined all the way back in the passenger seat, because Steve's fancy schmancy BMW can do that. He frequently lectures you about doing it while he's driving. Have I taught you nothing? Road safety! 
"I mean, I guess so," you say. "If someone ever wants to put a ring on me."
You sit up and pull down the sun visor. Steve turns. His hair lightens in the summer, shades of reddish blond peeking through. He insists his hair has never been anything but brown, fiercely pledging his allegiance to brunettes. You coo at his highlights all the same. 
"I want to," he says after a minute. "I wanna get married." 
You're parked down the block from your house. You should've gotten out ten minutes ago, but there's never any rush when you're with Steve.
"The line to wed you will be out the door, champ," you say around a grin. 
"Hm. I dunno." He stretches in his seat. "Maybe if I was the same guy I was a few years ago." 
You wrinkle your nose. "I doubt that."
"But what can I really offer?" he continues. "I'm just some guy who can't get into college."
"That doesn't mean no one will marry you. Some people who go to college are dumber than dirt. They get married. College has nothing to do with it. You can go, if you really want to. One rejection doesn't say anything about you, Steve." 
"I guess."
You pull the lever on the side. The seat shoots up with a brrrap! It clicks as you straighten. 
"Where did all this come from, anyway?" you ask. 
Steve shrugs. "Just thinking."
"Dangerous."
He smiles. "I like to live on the edge."
"Contemplating marriage like the world's biggest sap. Definitely edgy."
Steve hums. His hands are in his lap. He picks at a cuticle, a habit he’s recently developed. You wonder why he’s so anxious. 
"Two people from our graduating class got married last week."
Your eyes widen. "You're kidding."
"Nope. Lisa Schell and Gary Brewer." 
"Wait, didn't she cheat on him?"
"Yeah, but he slept with her sister, so I guess they called it even."
You shake your head. "That's insane. They're literally babies, Steve. That's like Dustin getting married."
Steve scowls. "He's not allowed to get married before me." 
"Not even to his possibly fictional Suzie?" 
"Not even to her."
You stare at the freckles on Steve's face and how his frizz kind of looks like a halo in the light. You imagine the feel of his hair in your hands, the warmth of his scalp.
"I'd marry you," you say. 
Steve's eyebrows shoot up. 
"What?"
"Like, if you were in a pinch."
He looks at you sideways. You flatten, then scrunch your hands over your knees. Your tongue feels too big for your mouth. 
"I'm talking about spending the rest of my life with someone, you know. Not borrowing fifty bucks."
"Fifty bucks is a lot of money for some of us, Harrington."
"That’s probably how much Lisa's wedding dress cost."
"I hope she kept the receipt."
Silence descends. A soft breeze blows through your cracked window. You want to search Steve's glove box for gum, but you've just told him you'd marry him, so you can't do anything except think about the fact that those words came out of your mouth. 
"Are you…" Steve begins, then pauses. "Why did you say that?"
"Because you're worried, for some incomprehensible reason, that no one will marry you."
"I scoop ice cream for a living."
You level him with a look. 
"Steve. We're kids. Cut yourself some slack."
His eyes turn hollow. They've been doing that lately. You wish you knew why. 
"I don't really feel like a kid these days," he says. 
Something about the way Steve sounds makes you want to climb over the console and curl into him, cradle his head to your neck. Which is crazy. You guys don't do that. Steve isn't yours to do that with. 
"Let's make a pact," you say softly. 
He meets your eye. "A pact?"
"Mmhm. Let's say if both of us aren't married by… thirty, then we'll get married."
"Well, I don't want a pity marriage." 
You roll your eyes. "It's not a pity marriage, Steve."
"Thirty is so late! You really think I won't be married by then?" he asks. 
"No, I don't think that. I already said folks will be lined up to marry you," you say. 
"I can't wait till I'm thirty." 
"Or you'll turn into an old maid?" 
"Meh meh meh," he mocks without any heat. 
You purse your lips so you don't smile. "Fine. We'll split the difference. Twenty-four?"
Steve considers that. Really considers it. It suddenly occurs to you what you're promising and who you're promising it to. You wonder if you'll both forget about it. Or brush it off. Oh, what did we know? We were kids!
Except Steve doesn't feel like a kid. And maybe you don't either, as much as you wish you do. 
"Do you mean it?" he asks. 
"Of course I do."
"No, seriously." He's serious. "I mean it, so if you don't…"
"Steve, I said I mean it. I do."
"You'll marry me?"
"I will."
"Swear on it."
You hold out your right pinkie out, waiting. Steve hooks his finger over yours. Impulsively, you kiss your linked pinkies. To show that you really, truly mean it.
You try to picture it. What walking down the aisle to meet Steve at the altar would feel like. You wonder if he'd keep his hair long, like it is now. You like it long. Would he keep it long for you?
"Will you buy me a ring?" you ask. "If we get married, I mean."
"Of course I'd buy you a ring," Steve says. "I'd get you anything you wanted."
"Okay." Your heart hammers in your chest. "I'm gonna go home."
"Alright. Want me to pull up to the door?"
"No, it's fine. Walking is good for digestion. Those milkshakes were no joke."
Steve smiles. He has such a lovely smile. His Cupid's bow is shaped exactly like a heart. 
"Same time tomorrow? It's movie night." 
Right. Your movie night. A semi-regular occasion that includes you, Steve, Robin, and the kids, sometimes. You've watched at least a dozen movies this summer together. Only this time, you're watching a movie after promising to marry Steve. 
"Sounds good," you say. "Will you pick me up?"
"Always."
Another promise. You hadn't realized how many Steve makes to you. 
"'Kay. See you."
You get out. Steve waves as he pulls away from the curb. 
Your ring finger feels bare. You rub it, hoping the feeling will go away. 
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ii. the wound 
The plastic chair has turned your legs numb. Your butt is about to follow. 
Can butts go numb? You're not sure. You'll find out soon, though. 
You rub your eyes. God, you need sleep. 
Across the room, you catch Joyce Byers' gaze. She smiles at you, though it's brittle. You try to smile back, feeling distinctly like you might break if you stretch your mouth too far. 
She looks away, and your not-smile falls. 
"They'll let us in soon," she says, like she knows. She does know. Better than you, certainly. 
The hospital smells cold. It smells like a place people go to die. 
Your heartbeat ratchets. You shouldn't think like that. 
"You don't understand," comes Dustin's voice. He's at the receptionist's desk, flanked by Mike and Lucas. Dustin's face is red and blotchy, near tears. 
"I need to see him. You won't let me see Eddie, so—" 
The receptionist rears back, like she can't believe three children are daring to speak to her. 
"Neither patient is cleared for visitors," she says icily. "Now, for the last time: have a seat."
Out of the corner of your eye, you see Joyce begin to stand, ready to herd the kids away. You beat her to it. Out of everyone in this room, you're probably the only person who has the strength to stand. 
"Guys, c'mon. It won't be long." 
They don't look at you. You don't take it personally. An hour earlier, you'd cornered Dustin and forced him to tell you what happened. What's been happening. 
So he did. And now you're here. 
You don't blame them for glaring at the prickly receptionist. But you know that won't do anything. It won't heal Steve quicker. And it won't make anybody feel better. 
"Hey, Dustin." You lay a hand on his shoulder. He looks at you like you're not Steve. You wish it was you in surgery instead. 
"Come sit," you say. 
"I need to see him," he tells you. 
"I know." Your throat tightens, threatening to trap your words altogether. You rush to get the rest out. "I do too. But this isn't going to make that happen faster. Come sit with me. Okay?"
"He'll be fine," Mike says quietly. "They don't wanna get sued by his asshole dad."
You nod, because yeah, good point. Quite possibly the first time Richard Harrington has brought anybody comfort. He's in Cancun, last you'd heard. You hope he chokes on a margarita. 
Dustin follows you. Mike and Lucas sit next to Joyce. The five of you wait. 
At some point, you fall asleep. When you wake up, it's to the contentious receptionist peering over you all. 
"Mr. Harrington is awake," she says primly. "You may see him now, young man."
Dustin flies out of the chair, Lucas and Mike at his heels. 
A part of you wants to go home, and you feel terrible for it. You feel terrible that Steve almost died, but you're the frightened one. You don't know if you can bear to see him tied to tubes and a heart monitor.
"Go on."
Joyce tracks you sleepily. Her hair is more knotted than before you fell asleep. She nods to the hallway. 
"Go see him."
You can’t voice every thought, every fear. I don’t know if I can see him like this.
“It’s good he won’t wake up alone,” she says.
“He’s got a family.” You wave your hand weakly. 
Joyce watches you for a moment. Then she gets up.
"Yes, he does." 
She holds out her hand. 
You don’t know Joyce Byers very well. This is probably the longest conversation you’ve had with her. You realize, then, that you're wrong—you’re not the one who’s strong enough to stand.
“Let’s go see him,” she says. "All of his loved ones should be there." 
God, are you really that obvious? 
You take her hand, and the two of you go down the hall.
Steve is nearly unrecognizable in the hospital bed. The kids are speaking to him, unusually quiet. They look up when you enter. 
Steve’s eyes lock with yours. 
“Hey,” is all you say.
“Hi,” he says, voice rough with disuse and getting choked by what Dustin had described as demon bats. 
“Boys, come on,” Joyce calls. “Let’s make a cafeteria stop.”
You see Dustin about to protest, but Lucas tugs his arm like he knows, and goddamn, you really are that obvious, aren’t you? 
You wait for the door to close behind you. Then you walk to Steve’s side. 
The gnarled ring of flesh around his neck makes you queasy. The rest of him isn’t much better, red and purple smeared across any skin that’s not covered by the chalky hospital gown.
You sit in the chair. It’s the same plastic kind as the ones in the waiting room, but this one doesn’t feel so hard.
“Robin called me,” you say.
Steve closes his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, you’d better be.” Your voice cracks. “Can’t believe you went dimension-surfing without me.”
“You’re mad at me.”
Your breath is punched out of you. 
“No,” you say softly. “My God, Steve. I’m not mad at you.”
His hand creeps to the edge of the bed. His fingers are scraped.
You take his hand and lace your fingers together. He slow-blinks. He’ll probably fall asleep in the next half hour. 
“It’s okay if you are,” he whispers. “Mad, I mean. I’d be mad too.”
You know he wouldn’t be, though. You know Steve would forgive you in a heartbeat.
“I’m not mad,” you say, equally as quiet. “I just… I was scared." 
He nods. "I'm sorry for scaring you." 
You bow your head and close your eyes. When Robin had called, you'd run to the bathroom and coughed up stomach acid.
They say he’ll make it, she'd told you, and you'd realized with violent clarity that you love him. 
But Steve doesn't need that right now. So you bury it.
You lean in and bring Steve's knuckles to your lips, taking care not to jostle him.
His eyes widen. Part of you hopes he won’t remember this conversation.
"Don't do that again," you say. “Not without me.”
"Okay,” he whispers. “I won't." 
You wait until he falls asleep, hand in his. 
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iii. the brand
“There’s no way I’m getting in your death van, Munson!” Robin whines.
“Death van is an exaggeration, Buckley. If anything, it’s a life van. I’m still here, aren’t I?” Eddie asks.
“Definitely not because of that heap of metal,” Steve murmurs to you. You snicker.
It’s nearly dark, but a summer dark, where it doesn’t actually turn to night until well after nine PM. The top two buttons of Steve’s dress shirt are undone, and you can’t stop staring. It’s embarrassing, really. You’d nearly missed Eddie’s walk across the stage because of that damned triangle of tanned skin and dark chest hair.
“Why can’t we take the station wagon?” Robin asks. 
“I think Nancy already left,” you say. “Sorry, Rob.” 
“And I’ve put my car jacking days behind me,” Eddie announces, flinging his arms out. “So my van it shall be!”
Robin whips her head around to glare at Steve. 
“This is your fault,” she accuses scathingly.
“Me?!”
“You just had to go and get a flat tire yesterday.”
“Yeah, Steve,” you add cheekily. “Why couldn’t you have foreseen the dreaded timeline where Eddie drives?”
“Et tu?” Eddie asks. “I’m hurt. I’m a great driver, y’know. Better than Steve, some have told me.”
“Dustin only told you that ‘cause you were high on morphine and about to burst into tears,” Robin says.
As they bicker, Steve draws closer, so your arms brush. You close the distance, crowding him.
“Y’okay?” he asks quietly.
“Yes,” you say, startled. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Just checking.”
“Are you okay?”
He turns to you. He looks like he’s searching for something. You don’t know what.
“Yeah,” Steve says after a minute. “I am. Better than, actually.”
“‘Cause I’m here, right?” you ask with a gooey grin.
“Yeah. ‘Cause you’re here.”
He sounds honest, so you turn away, because you can’t handle that and his chest hair. 
"I should get to choose where we go," Robin says as you arrive at Eddie's van. "Since it may be our last trip and all."
"Funny you were in Band and not president of the drama club, Buckley," Eddie says dryly. 
"Pot, kettle."
"How 'bout Rita's?" you suggest. "Unlimited refills and no one will hassle Eddie."
"Aw, you care about little ol' me?" Eddie asks. 
"If you get us there in one piece, yes."
Eddie huffs. "No wonder you and the Hair are like this." He crosses his fingers. 
"Damn right," Steve says. "We even finish each other's—"
"Terribly cliche sayings!" you say. 
Robin looks at you for a moment, unusually smirky. Then she looks at Steve. 
"You match. Blue dress, blue tie."
"That's so if she gets lost, they know who to return her to," Steve says. 
You scoff. "More like the other way around." 
He pouts. "Hey."
"Hay is for horses," you sing, skipping ahead to Eddie's van. 
"I'm sorry, are you excited to ride in the Hell Van?" Robin asks. 
You shrug. "We could use some excitement around here, couldn't we?"
"No!" all three say.
"I've had enough excitement for ten lifetimes," Robin mutters. 
Eddie pulls the door open. Your smile quickly drops. 
"Uh, Eddie? Where the fuck are the seats?"
"Right, so, usually I only have Gareth and Jeff ride with me. Gareth always calls shotgun—"
"Shotgun!" Robin hollers, and races to the front seat. 
You stare at the single backseat chair. There's no way it's big enough for you and Steve. 
"Holy shit," Steve says, taking stock of the "backseat."
Eddie rubs the back of his neck. "Yeah… listen, if I'd known we'd be taking her, I would've put the other seat in, swear! Usually we take it out for the equipment." 
"Well, what are we supposed to do? Lay down and pray? This is how people get head injuries, Eddie," you say, arms folded. 
"Maybe we can call a cab," Steve suggests. 
"At this hour?" You shake your head. "No way. This isn't Indianapolis."
"Oh my God." Robin groans. "The solution is so obvious. Sit on Steve's lap. Boom. Now come on, I'm starving."
You tense. Steve is tactile, sure, and you've become acclimated to that over the years. 
But this? This is way, way beyond that. 
"Uh…" Steve glances at you. "Do you… I mean, if you don't mind?"
You glance at Eddie, who's got the tiniest smirk. You glower and he clears his throat, hiding his mouth behind a lock of hair. 
"I don't mind," you say, more confident than you feel. "It's a short drive."
Eddie nods. "Definitely. I'll step on it."
"Please don't step on it," Robin calls. "We're already chancing fate by letting you drive in the first place."
Eddie huffs, walking to the driver's side. "Y'know, Buckley, you are just…"
You look at Steve. He smiles at you, sweet as always. 
"This isn't gonna aggravate any injuries, right?" you ask. "Me… sitting on you?"
You wince at the wording. 
"No, should be fine. My PT gave me the all clear a month ago."
You nod tightly. "Right. Okay. You go first."
Steve climbs in, planting his feet on the floor. You go next, stooping in front of him. You catch each other's gaze for a moment. Then you laugh, suddenly trying to look anywhere but at Steve. 
"Right, so I'll just…"
You slide onto Steve's lap, trying to hold some of your weight so you won't crush him. He splays an easy hand over your belly and leans over to pull the van door shut. Your heart thunders in your chest. 
"You can sit back, y'know," he says, breath tickling your ear. "’M not made of glass."
"Didn't want your legs to go numb," you joke weakly. 
Steve makes an unhappy noise and tugs you back so you're fully seated on him. You angle yourself so you can look at him. Steve looks up at you, lightly tracing a pattern on your hip. Like you do this all the time. 
"Hi," you say, too jittery to crack another joke. 
Steve smiles gently. "Hey."
His tone is fond. You feel sick. 
"Everybody good?" Eddie asks. 
He adjusts the rear view mirror and you watch his eyebrows shoot up in the reflection. 
"You two look cozy."
"Shut the fuck up, Munson," you mumble. "Just drive, already." 
Eddie giggles like a gremlin in reply and turns the ignition.
It’s not bad, at first. Eddie takes it easy driving through Hawkins. Part of it is because he doesn’t want to attract attention. The other part is that Hopper promised Eddie a night in jail if he caught him running the stop signs again. 
You personally think it’s a bluff. Robin does not; she’s enthusiastically annoying about road safety, and points out every single sign and red light. This causes Eddie to start slamming the breaks in retaliation. 
“Holy fuck!” you yelp when Eddie hits the breaks particularly hard. “Eddie!”
Steve is quick to tug you backwards, considering you’re not belted. You scramble to grab his shoulders and twist to look at him.
“Thanks,” you say breathlessly.
He smiles, then leans away, glaring at the front.
“Really, Munson?”
“She started it!” Eddie insists. “Blame your BFF!”
“Can you drive like someone who doesn’t have a death wish?” Robin shoots back.
Steve’s hands are now on the small of your back and on your hip, respectively. Your legs hang over the side of the carseat, butt nestled quite firmly on his thighs. 
God, you’re never living this down. 
“Y’okay?” 
Steve’s breath in your ear makes you squirm. You turn to look at him.
“Fine,” you murmur. “I’m not crushing you, am I?”
“No,” he says. “Don’t worry.”
Eddie breaks again, harder than before. You slip. 
Steve reacts instantly, his hand grabbing the meat of your thigh. Your dress rides up, so it’s skin on skin. 
The momentum is worse, however, because you jerk back. Right into Steve’s face.
Your nose mashes into his, which isn’t great. But then, your lips smush against his cheek. When you pull back, there’s a smeared lipstick print.
Maybe you’re the one with a death wish.
Robin is screeching incoherently but you can't focus on anything but the smudge of pink on Steve's cheek. Your chest feels tight. 
He looks like he's yours.
"Yeah, we're fine, " Steve says, voice close enough to startle you back into the conversation. 
He looks up at you. Your hand lands on the lipstick, like if you cover it, it'll go away. Steve tilts his head, mouth open in a question. 
"Sorry," you rush out before he can speak. "I got some of my, uh, lipstick on you." 
He relaxes. 
"Oh. Thought I was bleeding or something," he says with a slight laugh. "'S okay, I can wipe it off when we get there."
"Uh-huh." 
You drop your hand. You can't stop staring. Stop staring.
The print isn't exactly in the shape of your lips, but it's close. You can see the divots and where your lips parted. If someone were to see you two, they'd assume a lot of things you're not. 
Steve's collar is wrinkled from the van ride from Hell. His neck is flushed. You wonder how your lipstick would look there. 
Eddie presses the brake, softer this time. Steve's fingers dig into the meat of your thigh anyway. More marks. 
"Alright, relax, gang," Eddie says. "We're almost there."
You touch Steve's cheek again and hope he'll forget to wash you off of his face. 
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iv. the secret
It's raining. You're in Steve's bed. 
Thunder shakes the sky. You curl further into your—Steve’s—pillow. It smells like his soap and detergent. 
You used to like the rain. Not so much these days. Rain makes you think of blood on asphalt and being alone at twenty-four. Rain silences you. 
"Do you think he'll come back?" 
You've never dared to ask anyone. Not even Joyce. She'd know. She wouldn't tell you the truth, though. 
Nancy Wheeler probably could. She'd face you with that steel brow of hers and give it to you straight. 
Yes. The monster's back. You're not getting married. 
You slip your hand into Steve’s. He squeezes your fingers. Outside, the rain roars. 
"I don't know," Steve says into the darkness. 
You can't see him like this. It makes you mildly claustrophobic. Maybe you should turn on the hall light. 
"Hopper said he was dead. So did that other guy—uh, Murray. And like, Eddie's okay. And Max. El would tell us if she sensed something. It's not like he could come back without making a sound. I mean, from what she told me, she basically, like, unraveled him from the inside out. Which is pretty gross, but also a good way to keep someone dead."
He's rambling. He's rambling to distract you. 
God, what the fuck are you going to do when you're twenty-four and unmarried and Steve's forgotten all about you? 
"I don't want anyone to die," you whisper. 
Steve squeezes your hand harder. 
"No one's gonna die."
You shift closer. You can barely make out Steve's silhouette. The ends of his hair tickle your knuckles. 
"Hey," he says, and you try to find his eyes, but you can't. "Nothing's gonna happen, okay?" 
"Yeah," you say, even though something did happen, something that almost took him away from you, and you don't know if you can handle that again. 
"You can stay here as long as you want," he says. 
"I can go back to my room."
Steve threads his fingers with yours. You can't see his eyes but it's okay.
"Don't," he says. 
"Okay."
You scoot forward, closing another few inches between you two. Now, you feel Steve's breath on your face. He smells like minty toothpaste. He is alive. 
The rain batters against the windows. You could kiss him. You could kiss him right now, and no one would know except for you and him. 
His breath has begun to even out. You lean in blindly. Your lips land on his hair. 
It's hardly a kiss. It’ll be your secret anyway.
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+ and, finally, the first.
"Dustin wanted chocolate milk," you say, not looking up from the tub of yogurt you're searching the date for. 
"Yeah," Steve says, parking the cart to the side. "Kid's addicted."
He opens the giant fridge door and a burst of cold air nips at your arm. You shy away. 
"Six dollars? Jesus, does it come from gold cows?"
You snort, finally putting the yogurt in the cart. You stay at Steve’s house more often than not these days, so there’s no point in getting a separate cart.
"What?" Steve asks, looking at you. 
"You're funny, that's what."
"I am?"
"You sound like somebody's grandpa."
"I do not!"
"Do too," you say sweetly. 
"Do not."
"Do too infinity."
Steve rolls his eyes. 
"Yeah, whatever. I'm a grandpa 'cause I don't wanna spend a leg and an arm on chocolate milk for the little shit? So be it."
"Steve," you begin, eyebrows drawing together. "It's his birthday. Have a heart, old man." 
"Oh, good grief," he mumbles, but he takes the carton and puts it into the cart. 
You smile. Steve shakes his head. 
"This is why I don't go shopping with you. You're an enabler."
"I am," you say happily, walking alongside him as he pushes the cart. 
"And you don't push the cart."
You tut. "Pretty girls don't push shopping carts, Steven." 
"Oh, they just find some poor sap to push it for them, huh?" 
"I'm so glad you're on board," you say, skipping ahead to the chip aisle. 
You look through the shelves and land on two types of Doritos. Cool Ranch and Original. It’s a tough decision.
“Steve, what do you think?” You hold up the bags. “Which do they like better?”
“Ranch. According to Mike, liking the original flavors of snacks is lame.”
You snicker and take three bags of the Cool Ranch. Steve pushes the cart to you. 
“I feel like we’re shopping for our kid,” you say. “We’re the awesome house everybody wants to visit because we have the best snacks and the biggest pool.”
You look up when Steve doesn’t reply. He stares at you, expression unreadable. Your smile dims.
“What?” you ask.
Steve shakes his head.
“Nothing,” he says quietly. “It’s nothing.”
“Steve, seriously. What is it?”
He shakes his head again. 
“Nothing, really. Just zoned out for a second.”
He continues to push the cart down the aisle. You watch him for a moment, then follow. The two of you quickly check off the remaining items on Steve’s list (yes, his actual, physical grocery list), and then you check out.
The cashier smiles at you both in line. She’s an older woman, with the typical poofy blowout nearly every woman over fifty gets at Brenda’s Salon in downtown Hawkins. You busily put the items on the conveyor belt while Steve takes out his wallet and makes conversation with the cashier. It’s a good routine you two have established. 
When the cashier’s done, you squeeze past the cart and grab half of the bags. Steve takes the receipt and the rest of the bags.
“You two are very sweet together,” the cashier says, her round cheeks blush-red like apples. “Have a wonderful day.”
“You too, ma’am,” Steve replies, and heads to the exit.
You’re frozen for a moment, startled until Steve calls your name. You heft the bags in your arms and hurry after him. 
Steve stops and takes two of your bags before crossing the parking lot. 
“Steve,” you say, and huff. “I can carry them.”
“Pretty girls don’t push carts or carry bags. It’s the rule, remember?”
You watch, unimpressed, as Steve then proceeds to try and get his car keys with an armful of grocery bags. When he almost drops a bag for the third time, you sigh and take pity. 
“Which pocket?” you ask, snaking your arm around.
“Back left,” he says, smiling sheepishly.
You roll your eyes, feeling disgustingly fond. You shove your hand down Steve’s back jean pocket. He wiggles his eyebrows at you.
“Take me out to dinner at least,” he says.
“Pretty boys don’t get taken to dinner until the pretty girl has been asked out properly,” you shoot back. 
Steve smiles, but the joke doesn’t land like it usually does. You step away as soon as you get the keys, clearing your throat. 
“Well, I hope you’ve learned your lesson about carrying all the bags, Popeye.”
You open the trunk for him, then go to open the passenger side door.
“If I don’t carry all the bags, how else am I meant to show off to the ladies?”
You pull the handle on the driver’s side for Steve and he gets in, beaming cheekily at you.
“The only person who’s watching you make a fool of yourself is me, big guy,” you say. “So, mission failed.”
You open the glove compartment and start fishing through for gum. You find a Juicy Fruit packet but it’s empty. 
“Damn, that’s what we forgot,” you say, defeatedly crumpling the cardboard. “Gum.”
You start to turn to Steve. “Do you think we—”
You’ve wondered, probably more than you should, about how Steve Harrington kisses. 
Now you know: tenderly. 
He cups both sides of your face, and you have to brace yourself on the center console for balance. Your other hand tangles in his hair. It’s as soft as you imagined, free of product, and you scrunch the baby hairs at the base of his scalp. Steve makes a quiet noise. 
You kiss until you need air. Even then, Steve doesn’t let you go far. You part with only an inch or two between you. 
“There’s gum in the middle compartment,” is the first thing he says.
“Huh?”
“In here.” He pats the compartment between the seats. “Hubba Bubba. I got it last week.”
You giggle and grab Steve’s face with both hands. His hands slip to your arms and he squeezes, smiling gently.
“What?” he asks.
“Fuck, I’m glad I know you,” you say. 
Steve kisses you again. Two. Steve Harrington has officially kissed you two times. 
You hope you’ll lose track at some point.
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pinkslaystation · 1 month
Text
If I meant something to you.
toxic!Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader
You want him, but does he want you? Part 2 :> Part 3 :< Word Count: 2.1k
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Whatever you did, you always found yourself being a disappoint to your parents.
First, it was getting rejected from the university your parents intended you to go to. Then, it was working at a job that didn't utilise your degree. And now, it's complaint after complaint for being in a 'relationship' with some they didn't approve of.
"Honey, I just don't think he's the right one for you..." Your mother complained on the phone for what felt like the thousandth time this day.
You rolled your eyes exasperatingly, happy that she couldn't see your annoyance through the call.
"Ma...you haven't even met him, I don't see why it's such a big deal, I'm finally out of your hair anyways, isn't that what you wanted?" You argued.
Everyday felt like a battle for your parent's time and affection.
Living under the shadows of your siblings was a pain. Your older sister had pursued a law degree at a top university when you were just in high school, and moved abroad to practice at one of the best law firms in the US. Your younger brother, on the other hand, was in their 2nd year studying Aeronautical Engineering at the same university as the elder. You felt like the odd one out in every field.
And here you are, stuck working in retail even though you complete your Bachelors degree in Computer Science.
Whatever you did, just was not enough for your parents.
So you saved enough money from your job, took out a small loan and made the decision to pack your bags and move to the Midlands, which was just regionally higher up than where you initially resided in your family home. How funny was it that you were the last sibling to move out?
After weeks of working your ass of at your new 8-6 job...still in retail, one silent evening after taking out the trash, you found yourself coming face to face to your neighbor.
And to say to he was attractive was an understatement. He had a tall tower-like frame, height ranging anywhere from 6'2 to 6'4, his scarred face was decorated with dirty blonde, short yet soft, hair and a slight stubble. His face, though rough, looked almost model worthy and held a permanent angry face, eyebrows furrowed and jaw clenching as if it hurt to open them.
"You got a staring problem, love?" He scoffed at you, the first time your met. You stumbled over your words, eyes wide as saucepans.
"!- we- um..who..who are you?"
The blonde chuckled at you sarcastically, "Your neighbour, Riley, you won't see as often so close that bloody mouth of yours."
And he was right, out of 7 months of living at your new flat, you'd seen him only a handful of times. You often found yourself questioning his occupation, why exactly he hangs out and about the area for a week, then just suddenly just disappears, like a ghost.
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You'd learnt from the other residents that he worked within the military, whether it was the marines, the air force or the army, you never knew, until one faithful morning, you found yourself nestled against his broad warm chest, both of you hungover from the block party that all of the residents had been invited to.
"Hmm...mornin'" He grunts out at you, and the slightly reddening marks running down his neck and the bruising hand prints on your waist told you enough about the previous night.
You stiffen next to him, but his rough skin grazing against your skin urges to continue to curl up beside him.
Fast-forward another 5 months, it's been nearly a year of knowing 'Riley' and nearly a year you'd seen anyone from your family. You've always wanted to know how long they would be able to go on without you...and you'd finally got your answer.
You've learnt a lot of things about 'Riley'. For starters, his full name was Simon, though everyone in the building referred to him by his last name (you'd pestered him too much, and he finally caved in and allowed you to call him by his first name). He was almost 10 years elder to you and his striking face was usually masked with a black balaclava or those disposable ones.
"Ma, I'm happy, why can't you just be happy for me?"
"Sweetheart, why don't you come home for the weekend and we can finally meet this man. I mean since you're exclusive and everything."
"We...we're not that level yet-"
"Your older sister's getting married and she's only 4 years older than you.-"
"Why do you keep bringing her up? What's she got to do with this?"
"Honey, listen, me and your father are happy you're with someone. I mean this is the first time someone actually liked you right?"
Ouch.
"It wouldn't hurt to meet the old fella, no?"
Ah, one important part I forgot to mention.
You weren't dating Simon.
In fact, you guys never really established a relationship between the two of you. When he was home from deployment, your evening usually consisted of lazing about after work, wine in hand, Simon walking in, a few words exchanged here and there about his work-
Oh, and the night ending with a good rough fucking.
The morning would come by and you'd walk into your shift, your hickey-adorned chest and neck covered with a black turtleneck although it was the middle of August (and against the uniform policy).
So one night you decided to break away from his dominating kiss, and sit him down for a heartfelt conversation-
"Why'd you want to complicate things," he sneers, "we're just fuck buddies yeah?"
"Excuse me? So, what those 5 months didn't mean shit to you?" You scoffed, rather offended that he looked down at you, just like your family.
"You're old enough to be my kid, what make you think this was gonna go anywhere?" He stands up, lighting a smoke, knowing you hated the stench of his cigarettes in your room. It was always your room, always your flat. You can't remember the last time you even went to Simon's place, if there ever was a time.
"Who has a kid at 10? And why'd you keep fucking me? And I'm 24 fucking years old, Jesus, why does that not go through anyone's thick ass skull?!"
"Calm down love, thought this arrangement was mutual, I've got pent up frustration from the military, you're pent up 'cos no one else wants you-"
"Those nights didn't mean anything to you?"
"You don't mean anything to me." He asserts furiously. You studied him, the glimpse of that comforting man who stroked your back and kissed your forehead post-sex really wasn't there.
The fuck does this guy think he is?
"Get out."
"Done."
And he gets up and leaves, blowing a puff of smoke as if to scent the room. Just like that. Wow, was there anyone in your life that actually cared about you?
All those Wattpad stories taught you that the guy usually fights for his lover, screaming back saying that he won't leave without a fight, arguing that that the pair deserved each other. And yet, here you are, sobbing in the shower, unable to differentiate whether your body is getting soaked from the water or from the river of salty tears streaming down your dull, lifeless face, all because the guy you wanted never truly wanted you back.
You felt used, mainly your body. Rubbing yourself full of soap just caused your mind to flash back to his thick calloused hands massaging every inch of skin.
When you occasionally saw him at the building get together, which you wonder why he even attends considering he just hates and complains about everyone (everyone but you of course), you'd find yourself glued on the spot, lips quivering, tears threatening to spill again- and the throbbing. Man, the throbbing you felt between your legs. If it wasn't for his dick, you'd really be wondering why you craved him so bad, because it's definitely not his nasty personality.
And every time you open your mouth to say something to him, to call him over, to greet him, hell you should be cursing him out in front of everyone, he just stormed out with his head down with what looks like a combination of embarrassment or grief.
Until one night, you get a phone call from your older sister, the unsaved number appearing unfamiliar to you. Your hesitant to pick up.
"Hello?"
"Heyyy," She drags out her words, as if to waste time. You can tell your mother meddled in between, "So, I'm having the engagement party by the end of this month, and um...you free to come? No worries if you can't."
You pause, did she even want you there?
"Sure."
"Cool. Um, Mum says you're seeing someone, you can bring 'em if you want."
"Sure."
"Yeah, dunno if it's serious enough but there's enough space in the venue."
"Sure."
There's a pause on the other line.
"Hey can you say anything other than 'sUrE'?" She mocks you. Your eyebrow twitches in amusement.
"Did you just call to brag about you and your fancy ass engagement party? And the audacity to not send an invite, if you don't want me there, just say it. I'm not a baby anymore." You frustratingly answer.
Your sister remains quiet on the other line and you can tell you struck a nerve.
"I- listen I know we never get along but can you please come? Ma keeps mentioning you, surprisingly, and- and we haven't seen you in months, you don't even reply to the memes on the family group chat..."
You blink. "We have a family group chat?"
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The rest of the month was empty, and although you were thankful for no more surprising run-ins with Simon, you missed having a warm body next to you. You learnt from one of the residents that he's been deployed for 3 weeks, this particular one shorter than others.
He confused you, Simon. He hated the idea of being in a relationship with you, yet he did 'relationship things' with you. He disliked when people assumed you two were a couple in public, but he always had his arm around you protectively. Not even education was this stressful.
And as much as you wanted to sit and let the misery marinate into your mind, you knew the date of the engagement party was nearing and you knew you couldn't come empty-handed.
By the end of the 3rd week, you knew Simon had come home, recognising the sound of the heavy footsteps entering his flat next door at 3 in the morning, you being awake from all the stress your high-maintenance sister had thrown suddenly at you. But you couldn't help but notice the sound of a softer treads following his. Maybe he got a pet?
That night, you had trouble sleeping, unsure whether it was the stress of trying to impress your family or the light sound of the headboards of next door creaking. That sound was familiar, reminding you when he was over at your place, rocking gently inside of you, though you question why he's not with you this moment. Usually you'd find him at the other side of the door, tired eyes resembling those of a stray puppy looking for a place to stay.
You close your eyes, your mind racing to the thought of the burly man on the other side of the wall rubbing himself to the thought of you. You sink into the bed, disregarding that unignorable pulsating feeling.
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Saturday morning come, and you stretched contently, knowing that you finally had the day off from work. But that short-lived happiness dimmed when you checked the unread notification blasting through your phone.
7:29 A.M. #####:- hey listen i meant it when i said i wanted you there. pls come. #####:- it wouldnt just make ma happy but me too #####:- u gotta be there to make look better haha im joking
You had a feeling that she was not.
7:56 A.M. #####:-and uh, bring your guy as well pls, ma's so excited planning this wedding she wants to get started on the next one too lolol #####:- also she thinks your lying :/
Great, now there's actual pressure to bring someone.
Your morning dose of caffeine didn't hit today, as your body feels heavier than usual as you trudge all the way to your doorstep. When the last time you actually left your apartment if not for work?
Forcing yourself to look decently good, you make your way to your neighbour's doorstep, knocking so softly you almost tried again, until the door abruptly open, revealing a wet toweled Simon.
An eerie silence captures the atmosphere, consists of his eyes drinking in your disheveled appearance after almost a month, and yours undressing him, as if he wasn't already standing almost-nude.
He opens his mouth to say something but you beat him to it, "Listen I know you've been deployed for the past 3 weeks, but listen I need a favour, I know you hate me and don't want to be with me but I really need a date to an engagement party, and I hate men and men hate me so I don't know anyone but you, and here me out, but could you please take some time out of your month to please be my date, I know you don't like me like that, which makes no sense to me 'cos you're in that mask almost the same number of times as you're in me- just please give it a thought-"
There's a cough behind Simon.
A half nude woman runs past you, head down in shame, smilingly guiltily as she tiptoes out of his room. She heard it all, you thought.
You look at Simon, suddenly recollected last night's events, the 2nd footsteps, the headboard banging. It all made sense. You really didn't mean anything to him.
Simon shifts on his feet uncomfortably.
"Surprise?"
its's 2 a.m. as i post this...why do my brain cells suddenly begin to work post-midnight I've decided to start a tag list! -> lemme know you're interested to be tagged in my future posts! tags -> @lilliumrorum
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tinydeskwriter · 2 months
Text
LOVE HOLD| ⟮private⟯
lando norris x wolff!reader | f1 grid x wolff!reader (mostly)platonic
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A/n: just a little peak at y/n private ig account...
«previous part | next part»
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liked by lilymhe, landonorris, susie_wolff and 43 others
noty/n.wolff it all started when my mom met my dad, they fell in love, and they had me! hi, i'm ryan... dude, those are my parents, I came from them, talk about winner genes...
view all 18 comments
alex_albon you did not inherit they height though...
↳noty/n.wolff your opinion is irrelevant...
↳charlesleclerc midget😊
↳noty/n.wolff i going over there to cry on my many grand slam trophies from my many wins, comforted in the fact that I'm still number one in the world, not that you guys know what this feel like...
↳charlesleclerc uncalled for...
↳noty/n.wolff don't come for my height and I won't come for your lack of wins🙂
↳landonorris ankle biter
↳noty/n.wolff i am going to ignore you
Aug 12th 2022
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liked by lilymhe, landonorris, francisca.cgomes and 65 others
(tagged: francisca.cgomes; charlottesiine; elizaabrams; cassandra.blanchard; benshelton)
noty/n.wolff men ain't shit, like the goddess cher once siad, man are like dessert, you don't need them... stick to your girls (+benny)
btw pierregasly, thank u for introducing me to kika, i think i am keeping her😘
view all 23 comments
francisca.cgomes you can keep me😍
↳pierre gasly wait a minute...
↳noty/n.wolff💍alexa play boyfriend by dove cameron
Oct 30th 2022
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liked by lilymhe, francisca.cgomes, landonorris, susie_wolff and 52 others
noty/n.wolff go shawty, it's your birthday, we gon' party like it's your birthday... congrats landito! you manage to survive for 23 years, and i am so proud of you! there were a few close calls(at least a few that i witnessed) but you made it! i hope you feel blessed and special, not everyone gets a appreciation post from yours truly🤍
jokes aside...happy birthday lan, i wish you a world of happiness, because you deserve it, thank u for making my life happier by being in it 🤍 we have been in each others lives for nearly fifteen years now, here to more fifteen, i hope you know, through thick and thin, i will always be by your side 🤍😘
view all 30 comments
lilymhe I love the third photo, who took it??
↳francisca.cgomes I thought the same when I saw the fourth photo
↳noty/n.wolff 😘
alex_albon just friends, she says
↳georgerussell63 the best of friends, she says
↳alex_albon we are being ignored
↳georgerussell63 I noticed
landonorris❤️❤️❤️
↳noty/n.wolff 🤍🤍🤍
Nov 13th 2022
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liked by carlossainz55, francisca.cgomes, landonorris, susie_wolff and 49 others
noty/n.wolff last trip of the year before going home for christmas, touring with local carlossainz55, Madrid may have become one of my favorite cities in the world, thank you the Sainz family for welcoming me and for the 5⭐hospitality, congrats on the newlyweds, beautiful wedding a wish you guys a long and happy life together🤍
view all 10 comments
carlossainz55 come back whenever you want
Dec 9th 2022
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liked by lilymhe, landonorris, susie_wolff and 43 others
noty/n.wolff Merry Christmas folks🤍
view all 32 comments
Dec 25th 2022
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noty/n.wolff half a century + 1 looks good on you🤍 the man who always encouraged me to follow my dreams and do twice as much to make them come true, who never let me give up, and who, even though he couldn't physically be present, never lost any of my matches. #1 dad in the world, best team principal in F1, a example to be followed, I honestly could not wish for a better father.
love u daddy. happy birthday🤍
view all 29 comments
susie_wolff you made him emotional
elizaabrams girl sometimes I forget that your dad is the king of dilfs...
(liked by lilymhe, susie_wolff and francisca.cgomes)
noty/n.wolff 👀
Jan 12th 2023
«previous part | next part»
taglist:@myescapefromthislife | @kapsylia | @biitch-with-wifi |@vicurious28 | @minkyungseokie | @asfaraslifegets
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olive-fics · 2 months
Text
An Old friend.
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Synopsis: After not seeing Abby for nearly 5 years, she suddenly comes back into your life like it was nothing.
Men DNI, Mature readers only, reposts are especially welcomed!, Not proof read lol
SUPPORT PALESTINE WITH A CLICK. https://arab.org/click-to-help/palestine/
˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .     
The notification on your phone was just another blip in the background of your busy life. Work, deadlines, and the relentless march of time had pushed a lot of things into the recesses of your memory — including Abby Anderson.
The relentless flow of people outside in the streets and sidewalks caught your eye as you watched from above in your little cubical. . Lost in your thoughts, you were startled by another notification, this time from a friend, Ellie Williams.
You had met Ellie back in middle school, both of you were little nerds obsessed with savage starlight and music so you two instantly clicked.
"Wanna grab drinks after work? It'll be fun, pus it's a small break from work for you."
of course.
"Idk. . Who else is going? You bringing your 3rd girlfriend of the month with or something?"
"haha Y/N. Just us tonight, maybe we can find you a little girlfriend.."
"Ellie be so fr rn."
"ok ok. but just saying, If there's a hot lesbian there, I'm giving her your number."
"I swear to god.."
The post-Abby relationship had proven to be more challenging than you initially thought. Since the breakup and her abrupt move away, you hadn't gone into any other serious relationships. Sure, you engaged in casual conversations with a few people, but nothing seemed to progress beyond the talking stage.
Your friend Ellie was quite the opposite of you. Ellie is a party enthusiast, a self-proclaimed player, and a lesbian with unapologetic masculine energy. You never really understood how you two clicked.
Waiting for the clock at work to finally strike 5, signaling the end of the day, you finally get to go home. With a sigh, you scanned your closet, hoping to find something not so eye catching, you're just there for some drinks with Ellie. Plus.
You're probably going to be the one needing to carry her home later..
.
Throwing on a simple pair of jeans and a white T-shirt with a small work logo on it, you head out to the bar.
Ellie: "Y/N! Look at youuu! Finally out of the house.." Y/N:"Yeah yeahh.." Ellie:"Come- I already bought us a drink- then lets go dance."
You sighed, the corners of your lips turning up in a laugh as you joined Ellie.
.
Ellie: "So , Y/N. What's been happening in your mysterious world lately?"
Y/N: "Oh, you know, the usual. Work, school, a bit of Netflix.."
Ellie: "Of course.. So, anyone special in your life these days?"
Y/N: "Not really, just the usual talking stages. And you, Ellie? Still breaking hearts?"
Ellie: "Ah, you know me too well." .
The night had carried on, a blur of clinking glasses, casual conversations, and a soundtrack of questionable music.
Eventually, Ellie had to use the restroom, leaving you left by the drinks alone.
Feeling the effects of the drinks, you couldn't help but feel the buzz that had settled in. It had been a while since you let loose and allowed yourself to be carried away by the intoxicating combination of alcohol, and Ellie's horrible dad jokes.
As you searched through the crowd to find Ellie after noticing she disappeared that's when you heard it.
CLANK!
Before you could react you felt a rough hand grab yours and pull you up gently. Startled, you looked up to meet the gaze of the person who had inadvertently collided with you. Their eyes, filled with concern, met yours, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still.
Why did she look so familiar..?
Suddenly snapping you out of your questioning they finally spoke.
"Are you okay?" they asked, their voice tinged with genuine worry.
Caught off guard you nodded, still processing the sudden turn of events. As you steadied yourself, you couldn't shake the feeling of familiarity that washed over you.
With a grateful smile, you huffed out a; "I'm fine, thank you. Just got a little lost in the crowd."
You then looked down at your shirt, it was stained red from the strawberry cocktail in her hands.
"Great.." you muttered under your breath, a mix of amusement and frustration.
"Let me buy you another drink to make up for it,"..
Caught in a moment of indecision, you looked up at the girl who had inadvertently stained your shirt.. Your thoughts shifted back to where you and Ellie had been seated for the night. You couldn't just leave Ellie, but the genuine offer of another drink lingered in the air, creating a little dilemma.
"Um, I appreciate the offer, really, but I'm actually here with a friend," you explained, trying to not seem rude.
The girl nodded understandingly, "No worries. I didn't mean to intrude on your night. If your friend is around, maybe we can all grab a drink together?"
You shrugged and nodded, why not?
She had noticed the stain worsening and quickly offered, "Could I at least help you wash that out? I'd hate to ruin your shirt completely..."
You looked down at the stain, and you couldn't deny it was pretty bad.
"Well, it's a unique fashion statement now, I guess,"
She laughed and gently took your hand. "Follow me."
You both went into the restrooms, you propped yourself on top of the sink. The girl then grabbed a Wad of paper towels and ran them under cold water to start blotting at your chest with them.
"Sorry again for the mess." she sighed and made eye contact with you, only to quickly look away.
Did she know something you didn't?..
.
Clearing your throat you looked down at her from the sink.
"It's really no worries.. It's an old shirt.."
"Still..You're all sticky now.."
"I think I've been through worse." You stifle a laugh and look away.
..
"So.. What's your name..?" She asked attempting to make small talk.
"Y/N."
"Right."
"Anyways..let me go buy you that drink."
"True."
You get off the counter and follow the girl back to the bar.
Eventually Ellie came back to her seat next to you.
"Oh? Y/N..Who's this? hmmmm?" She couldn't help but tease you.
"Oh please.. it's just a friend.."
"Right..Wait..what happened to your shirt?? I swear to god whoever did that to you I'll kick their ass-"
"It's okay.." You laughed and calmed Ellie's nerves.
"Accidents happen."
You look to the girl and laugh quietly. God you needed to go home.
..
"You seem on edge." Ellie called out as you two walked back to your apartment.
"Just..buzzed." You lied right to her. goodness.
"I know that's not all y/n."
"That girl was just.. really familiar. Did she seem that way to you too..?"
"Nope. You're just overthinking again."
"probably."
..
You made your way back to your apartment, eager to shed the stained shirt and uncomfortable jeans. As you undressed, something caught your attention in your pocket — a note with someone's number on it?
great.
Starting up a warm bath you add some bubbles and light a candle, you'll worry about the note later. You took off your bra and got into the bath tub scrolling on your phone to then look at the note sitting on your sink.
Fuck it.
"Hey, This the girl from the bar?" You wrote the text, you questioned if you even really wanted a reply.
Ping!
"hah! Yeah, it's me. wyd? :)"
"Taking a bath :p"
"Cute. Proof my love?"
˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .     
ok Ik this sucks but maybe I'll make a part 2..if that's something you guy's would like idk!! :)
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shanastoryteller · 5 months
Note
Happy Halloween Shana! Perhaps some Lady Mo or anything in The Untamed universe. (Sorry, I’m new at this.) 💜🎃
a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51
"That's not," Lan Zhan start then he presses his lips together. "Of course, if that's what you want, then-"
Wei Wuxian flinches.
Lan Zhan goes silent, looking at him with his hands loose at his sides and a helpless expression that Wei Wuxian last remembers seeing as he fell off a cliff's edge.
"Brother," Lan Xichen says gently, "have you asked Xuanyu what she wants?"
"It's fine," he says quickly, "It doesn't matter what I want."
Jiang Cheng's eyes narrow but before Wei Wuxian can head off the temper he can see see brewing, Lan Zhan has crossed the distance between them, grabbing his hands and holding them in almost too tight grip, and Wei Wuxian can't focus on anything but Lan Zhan's dark eyes. "It matters to me."
His mouth goes dry. He's so close, and they used to be the same height, and one of the only things he's not quite used to in this body is how much shorter he is, how he has to tilt his head back to meet Lan Zhan's gaze.
He wants this baby.
It's not fair. It's not right. This isn't his life and isn't his child, not really, it's all stolen and borrowed and nothing he'll have to keep. If he brings this child into the world, he's sentencing them to a life with a dead parent. He knows that life.
But a life as the child of Lan Zhan is a good life. He knows it. Look at Sizhui, at how wonderful he is, at how kind and loved.
"What do you want?" he asks.
Lan Zhan shakes his head. "That's not important."
What a ridiculous thing to say. "It is to me."
He stays perfectly still and then his eyes dip down to Wei Wuxian's stomach, where their - where his and Mo Xuanyu's baby grows. His grip on his hands briefly tightens to the point of almost pain before he says, "I want our child." He slowly pulls up his eyes to meet Wei Wuxian's once more. "If that's what you want."
Lan Zan wants their baby.
This makes everything more complicated, if he's to have this baby and still fulfill the purpose Mo Xuanyu died to give him. His life is about to get so much harder.
He's so relieved he's nearly dizzy with it.
"Me too," he says. "I want that too."
"Okay," Lan Zhan says softly. "Okay, Xuanyu."
"XUANYU!"
He startles, pulling back to see Jiang Yanli standing there, panting as she holds onto Jin Guangyao's arm in support.
"Yanli-jie!" he says in concern, rushing over to her. "Are you alright?"
She waves a dismissive hand, which doesn't answer his question. "Never mind that. Are you alright?" She glares over his shoulder, he assumes at Lan Zhan.
It shouldn't be endearing, but of course it is. Thirteen years as a Jin and she's still so perfectly Jiang, so perfectly herself, that it's enough to make him homesick even when he's right in front of her. "Yeah, Yanli-jie. I'm alright."
She huffs and grips his wrist, pulling him to her side and then not quite sure what to so with him, but he settles a hand at her elbow and says, "Let's get ready for the banquet, okay?"
"Fine," she says, scowl finally melting into something softer.
He glances behind him as he leaves to find he still has Lan Zhan's full attention and has to keep himself from flushing.
Lan Zhan hadn't had a sip of alchohal, but just then, before Jiang Yanli arrived -
Wei Wuxian had thought that Lan Zhan was about to kiss him.
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