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hinescvzholdt · 1 month

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Why Are Most Internet Online marketers Working Harder Nevertheless Not Earning Enough to Keep some sort of Bird Alive?

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mimzy-writing-online · 3 years

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Writing Toph Beifong, Advice from a Blind Writer

I’m Mimzy, an actual visually impaired writer and blogger who talks a lot about writing blind characters accurately and sensitively. A while back someone sent me an anon asking how to write Toph more accurately and sensitively.

Anonymous asked: Hi there! Your blog has been super-helpful already - I thought I knew a bit about writing with blind characters, but it turns out there was a lot to learn - but this is more specific. I'm writing a The Last Airbender fanfiction, and one of the characters is Toph. I think the fandom has done a fairly good job of respecting her blindness, but what are some things you'd like to see when people write her? I want to represent the character as best as possible; thanks in advance!

It’s taken a while for me to answer because I have a lot of thoughts about it as both a blind writer and someone who has read a lot of atla fanfiction. So here we go:

Before we get started, I want to mention some things:

One: I have an entire series for writing blind characters that continues to grow with time and the most up-to-date version can be found pinned as the top post on my blog. There will be a time-stamp for when the post was last edited and a long series of links to all relevant posts on the subject.

Here’s a quick link to that post, but again, all you have to do is click my blog url and you’ll find it immediately.

Two: I’ve noticed something amazing about the atla fandom and I would like to thank you for it. I’ve noticed a lot of bloggers have taken to writing image descriptions for both the fanart and memes you post in the fandom, whether it’s OP including the description or another blogger adding it themselves. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a fandom so consistently doing this and that’s incredible. Realizing how many different blogs were picking up this habit has warmed my heart.

I’d like to see writers use her other senses. There’s soooo so much more to her O&M (Orientation and Mobility) than earth sense.

Beyond sight and earth bending, there’s hearing, touch, smell, taste, sense of direction, hot vs cold, sense of pain, sense of where your body parts are in relation to the rest of you, sense of internal well-being, etc. Before Toph had mastery of her earth bending, she had to have mastery of those too.

Toph also must have very strong opinions about certain smells, sounds, tastes, and textures. Toph is opinionated about everything, and when so much of your understanding of the world depends on senses that most people are ignoring in favor of some other sense you don’t have, it gets frustrating. I’m sure that tree looks pretty but the smell is terrible. Who cares if this fabric looks pretty, it’s scratchy, do. not. like. at. all.

But also in positive ways too. Oh, that flower arrangement looks bland and monochromatic? Who cares, it smells sweet and honey-like. Weird dark cavern with high ceiling and no light? The harmonics are awesome.

Every character probably has a certain sight or image they’re particularly fond of: Katara watching snow fall, or Aang enjoying how small the world looks from up on Appa, or Zuko enjoying the sunrise every morning during meditation. In that line, Toph must have some things personal to her that she enjoys.

I imagine she likes the taste of foods familiar to her childhood, the smell of whatever flowers grew around her home, and the texture of certain kinds of dirt Example: loose dirt probably isn’t the best for seeing, but I think she would enjoy how it feels to run her fingers through it or maybe enjoy the way it softens her perception of the world the same way sighted people like to see colorful, bright lights reflecting off puddles in the middle of rain.

If you struggle with this, that’s okay. I recommend taking some time to think about it for yourself, to find what tastes and smells and textures and sounds you enjoy the most, what makes you feel safe and at home, what brings you comfort, and relate that back to Toph.

In a Modern AU, I want to see Toph have a cane. Even in a Modern AU with bending included in the world building, I think Toph would benefit from having a cane.

The cane has a lot more function than bumping into things. A big part is that it signals to others that you are very obviously blind. Which is a big deal because sighted people are really, really bad at spotting the blind person.

(psst, please stop saying ‘the blank look in her eyes’ because I swear to god it’s been killing me inside for years.)

Also, even in an AU with bending, I think Toph would like the advantage of tapping her cane to create a stronger, more distinct vibration than a small shifting of her weight on her feet. It would have more control.

You could give Toph a guide animal, buuuuuuut, um, Toph is not a guide dog person. Like, there are some people who definitely prefer a guide dog, and some people who definitely prefer a cane, and some who definitely prefer no mobility device at all. Toph does not have the vibes of someone who wants to be both responsible and reliant on an animal when she’s so insistent that she can take care of herself on her own. Toph likes animals, but not that much.

Although, yeah, only 10% of the blind community use mobility devices, so cane and guide dog users are the minority of the blind community, but I stand by the vibe that Toph would love the independence of a cane. Also, it’s almost never ever done. Modern AUs never seem to touch much on Toph’s O&M skills with canes or guide dogs.

I wrote a whole post on everything you need to know about canes, what orientation and mobility is, how you learn O&M, what kind of canes exist, how to use them, how to describe the sensory input a cane gives you, and everything I know about guide dogs from past research.

Honestly, you could give Toph (or any blind character) a cane in any AU, because I fully stand by the theory that canes are a piece of technology that has been invented, lost, and reinvented again and again.

I wrote “I found a piece of lost blindness history” a few months ago after a visit to see my grandparents. My grandmother told me how her blind aunt found a way to write letters by hand to send to my grandmother when she was a child. I speculated on how the long cane has probably been invented and then lost and then reinvented over and over again in history, as well as giving a little history on the growing popularity of guide dogs in the 20th century following World War 1.

About the “blank look in her eyes,” I have a theory to the exact cause and nature of Toph’s blindness.

I know it’s common to think that the milky green color of her eyes is why she’s blind, though I’m not sure how many realize that milky green color is caused by severe cataracts. At least, cataracts is what I assume to be the reason for the color of her eyes. However, people with cataracts still have some remaining sense of light and shadow perception.

Only 9% of the blind community is completely blind, seeing absolutely nothing. The rest have some remaining vision, even if that’s only light and shadow perception or the perception of vague movement.

The percentage of people born completely blind is even smaller.

Toph says that she’s never been able to see, which would lead me to guess that the initial cause of her blindness was a defect with the visual processing part of her brain. I also theorize that the cataracts developed slowly over her very formative years and that she likely wasn’t born with them. For that reason, I think it would have taken a few weeks or months for her parents to realize there was something wrong with her eyes.

Here is a post about the developmental years of blind children and how their life would differ from both sighted children and from someone who went blind as an adult.

What is it like to see nothing?

It’s a concept that sighted people struggle with and I completely understand. I myself didn’t understand the concept of “nothing” until someone explained it as this:

“Imagine trying to see out the back of your head.”

Which, genuinely, imagine that. Try that. Because here’s what I found. There’s no part of my body that can help perceive that. I don’t have eyes there, nor do I have a part of my brain that can process that. Because of this, there is no sense of light or dark, no shape or shadow or movement or depth that I can perceive. There is nothing.

And honestly, it gives me a headache trying to think too much about it.

Toph doesn’t see black, doesn’t have a mental image of it. When people talk about light and dark, Toph has nothing to base the concept on. The closest relation she has to that is silence versus sound, or her earth sense when she’s in the air on Appa versus when she’s on solid ground. But it’s not the same.

I would like to examine the way the show tried to describe Toph’s earth sense, that black void with ripples of white stretching from her feet and outwards. Television is a visual medium so of course their explanation of Toph’s earth sense would be visual, but that’s not what it’s actually like in her head. More accurately, it’s like touching the back of your head to something and feeling what’s solid behind it and what has more give. A wall versus a pillow for example. Slamming your hand on a flimsy table and feeling it rattle under your palm. And for someone so adept at using that sense, she feels not just the table surface under her palm, but the individual rattles down the four legs, how uneven those rattles are because the legs are carved decoratively instead of solid planks, and how the foot of each leg bumps against the ground, and how the floor vibrates in response to the impact, which she feels in both her feet and hand.

About Toph’s Relationship with Her Parents

It’s not something I see touched on much. There’s been a lot of focus on Zuko and Azula’s relationship with their parents and the abuse, as well as exploration of Sokka and Katara’s trauma with losing their mother, and Sokka looking up to his warrior father while Katara struggles with her abandonment issues.

Please don’t take this as a critique, because there are a few valid reasons for this and I would like to give you some insight on how to explore Toph’s relationship with her parents.

For starters, the show had a lot more reason to focus on Zuko and Azula’s parents, with Fire Lord Ozai being the primary villain and Zuko’s greatest abuser, and Azula’s dependent worship of her father in response to Ursa’s neglect and favoritism of Zuko, which was likely Ursa’s response to Ozai’s favoritism of Azula. Their parents are huge driving motivators for why Zuko and Azula make the decisions and mistakes they do, why they are at one point in the show the villains themselves. (And why I think Azula should get a redemption arc and some healing.)

Katara’s trauma of losing her mother and blaming herself is a huge factor in both her response to the war, her relationship with her bending, and her motherly nature with her friends. The show has to explore that. Just as it has to explore Sokka’s problems with toxic masculinity in response to being the man of his village, and his desire to be a great warrior and leader like the father he idolizes.

The show needs to explore that to make the plot move forward, and it benefits from these being two sibling sets with different responses to their upbringing and different sibling dynamics, setting them up as foils for each other.

The show also wouldn’t benefit by giving Lao and Poppy Beifong more screen time. Their established character were two nobles who kept as far out of the war as possible and prospered monetarily for it. Poppy was polite and demure and Lao liked to lead the conversation. Unless the gAang decided to return to Toph’s home, those characters had no reason to pop up anywhere in the show. And if they did, they would be a hinder to Toph and her part in the plot as both Aang’s earth bending teacher and as the greatest earth bender in the world, tossing Fire Nation soldiers eight ways to Sunday.

So truly, I understand that there’s not a whole lot of canon material (comparatively) to go off of when developing this, but I will offer some insight on what is there in canon.

Toph’s relationship with her parents is explored in that it maps out why Toph doesn’t want to be mothered by Katara, why she wants to prove how independent she is, but there’s very little on screen interaction between Toph and her parents.

Toph deeply loves her parents. I think that plays into why she doesn’t want Katara mothering her, because she has a wonderful mother at home who she loves and wants to better understand her, but she had no friends growing up and no older sister, which are the roles she needs and wants Katara to fill. If Toph wanted a mother figure, she would have latched onto Katara. Look at how Zuko never sought out another mother figure but did find a father figure in Iroh as he began to heal from his childhood trauma and separate his self image from his father’s acceptance.

Toph is in a complicated situation, she loves her parents but the way they’re raising her is hurting her in the long run. But Toph can see that their actions are because of their immense love for her. She can see how they would do anything for her. While she never had any examples of how other noble children were treated by their parents, who might have been distant or disinterested or always away for their social and work lives, she was remarkably loved by her parents. Her father put careful thought into her tutors and checked in on her progress. Her mother feared for Toph’s emotional state when she was kidnapped (even if she was incorrect about how Toph would respond), showing genuine empathy for her daughter.

I think their over protective nature became the love language Toph best understood them by, and part of her reasoning for not revealing how capable she was, was because she wanted to keep experiencing that love and care for as long as she could. But it’s not a love language she would put up with from anyone else.

I would like to point out Toph’s genuine excitement to see her mom again in the season finale of Book Two, how badly Toph wants her mom to understand and accept her for who she is.

My thoughts on what Toph can’t do: read, swim, see in the sand, fight things mid-air.

For how incredibly powerful the show makes Toph with her earth bending and the O&M she taught herself through it, they do touch on some of her weaknesses when they come up and find a useful way to showcase them.

The Serpent’s Pass was an excellent example of Toph’s vulnerability in water. From her fear of not being able to see on Katara’s ice bridge to not being able to swim and needing Suki to save her, Toph’s weaknesses putting her in danger added to the excitement and “sitting on the edge of your seat” feeling while watching the episode without turning her into someone who was helpless. She was just in a position where her normal defenses were useless.

Just like the earth benders in the metal prison in the ocean, or Katara having little water in the middle of a desert where her friends needed that water to survive more than she needed it to fight, making her vulnerable later in the show when the insect-wasp things attacked. Just like fire benders being weaker at night, or powerless during a solar eclipse, or a sighted person being lost in the dark. Those were just situations in which the tools you were accustomed to relying on could no longer help you or were taken away.

The show was clever in that it didn’t make her inability to read a direct threat to her safety, but rather as a clever plot device for her to be alone when the sand banders attacked and have to choose between fighting them to save Appa, or holding back an entire fricking building by the tiniest spire on its very top from falling into a void leading to the spirit world. It also showed her weakness to not being able to see or fight as well in sand. Which the show later made an effort to show how she’d improved on that problem in Book Three when she was surrounded by nothing but sand at Ember Island.

Like improving her ability to see in the sand, I would like to see a character teach Toph to swim, or at least float, so that she never feels helpless again. If she took the initiative to improve her sand bending so much, I’m sure she would have learn to swim eventually.

And on the note of reading, I’ve seen some speculation on how Toph could learn to read, whether it’s through using ink that has some percentage of earth mixed in, or developing the sensitivity to feel out the different weight, consistency, and texture of ink on paper.

I would like to bring your attention to Louis Braille, the blind Frenchman who invented Braille while studying at the Institut National des Jeunes Aveugles, the world’s very first school for the blind in Paris France (established 1785). Previously Louis was learning to read through a method in which each letter was pressed into the paper to leave an imprint that someone could feel out with just their fingers.

Louis Braille concluded that raised lettering was impractical because-

1. It is difficult to read, the letters had to be printed in huge font to be fully felt out and printed on thick paper.

2. Thick paper means higher quality, more expensive. Larger font means more paper is needed for a single text.

3. This made it inaccessible due to expense and the sheer volume of a text.

4. If today’s Braille books are hard to access and giant compared to traditional books, I can’t imagine how inaccessible those raised letter books really were.

The subject of Braille, the start and controversial near downfall to Institut National des Jeunes Aveugles were discussed in a post about writing a blind character during the Victorian Era.

I’ve heard others complain in the past about fantasy universes in which a sighted person invents a solution to allow the blind to read, when the most effective and longest lived method was invented by a blindman over two hundred years ago and is the standard taught in schools today.

And while I couldn’t easily explain it or how it works because I can neither read Braille nor speak Chinese, I can tell you that Chinese Braille exists and works only slightly differently from the Braille western languages use. So, again, modern AUs especially would benefit from enabling Toph to read Braille and use a computer and phone with screen reader.

But just as easily you could choose not to have her learn to read but rather have sighted people read things aloud to her. Whether it’s in a professional setting as an adult having an assistant who reads and writes for her, or as a cute, fluffy little moment between Toph and another character. Both are just as genuine to the blindness experience.

Blind Jokes

If you ever get around to reading my post about blind jokes, I’d like you to remember that it’s primarily written for people writing original characters and that Toph canonically makes blind jokes, so to take away from that would not be true to her character.

Does Toph’s Earth Sense Negate her Blindness?

It’s a question I’ve seen raised before and discussed by both abled, disabled, and blind people. There are multiple perspectives on it, but my own take on it is that Toph’s earth bending does not negate her blindness, but rather functions very much like the process of learning to use a cane.

She had a tool, a teacher, and she learned to use that tool. Instead of a cane, it was seismic perception and her teacher were blind badger-moles. She spent years learning to earth bend as they do and then continued to take it to new heights as she explored fighting with it on her terms against sighted fighters.

Come to think about it, I would love to see Toph teach another visually impaired or blind earth bender who to see and bend as she does.

Is Toph Good Blindness Representation?

This question was posed to me in the comments of my master post, and my answer was something like this: “Toph is good representation, but she can't be the only type of representation we get. She's the best we had 15 years ago, but there are a million ways to nuance the blindness experiences. Toph's experience being born blind, having very over protective parents, being a small girl in a patriarical and wealth influenced society, having no friends growing up. Those are all great aspects of blindness to show, but there is so much more to explore. As for her blindness and whether or not that's negated, that's also nuanced. She has limits, she's not all-powerful, but she is the best earth bender hands down. More or less, I love Toph, she's a great character, give me like a million more blind characters who are completely different from her.”

I want to see accurate and well-written blind characters become much more common in modern media, and that’s why I started this blog. So if you decide you want to write your own blind character from scratch, feel free to come back and look at some of my other stuff.

End Notes:

I want to thank the anon who sent the original question because it never occurred to me how much the atla fandom would benefit from a post like this.

You should follow my blog. Along with advice about writing blind characters, I write general writing advice and answer questions about writing, college, plot development, character analysis, and living with blindness. I curate writing advice from fellow writeblrs, write my own image descriptions for writing memes, post about mental health and working/living with ADHD, disabilities outside of blindness, and LGBTQA+ topics.

#avatar the last airbender #toph beifong #atla toph #atla #blind character #writing advice #writeblr #fanfiction

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conscious-love · 3 years

Text

Hi 👋🏻 I’m Bella Love ✨

If you’re new here, welcome. Whether you’ve been following me for a while or you’re a newbie, I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad you like the stuff I share, and I hope it brings value to your life. 😌😊

This is a “love letter” to all of my followers. 💙

I’ve been running this blog since October of 2015. If you’ve been with me since the beginning — first of all, wow! 🤩 (please let me know if you have!) — you know I’ve made some changes since then. It started out as a place for me to post and reblog resources for moving on from a breakup, because at the time, I was preparing to leave my (then) boyfriend. Pretty quickly, though, I noticed that the posts I shared were resonating with people, and I began to pick up a following. At that time, I wasn’t sharing much of my own writing, I was mostly reblogging and sharing quotes, articles and videos I found useful. Over the years, this blog has evolved from being centred around breakups and healing, to what it is today: an accumulation of resources for moving on from a breakup, finding and building healthy relationships, and personal growth — including my original writing.

I’m going to share something with you that I’ve never shared with anyone. It’s a journal entry from December of 2015, about 7 weeks after starting this blog on October 13th — 2 days before my 18th birthday on the 15th. Know that my penmanship has indeed improved. 😜 I’ll provide a transcript afterward for easier reading.

Transcript:

“Sunday, December 6th 2015

On October 13th, I made a new blog on Tumblr called Moving On with the URL i-am-strong-all-on-my-own.tumblr.com. I made it to compile all the quotes and other resources I’ll need when getting over ___ once I break up with him. I now have 645 followers. After gaining my first few followers, it also became about helping them. I’m really grasping now just how many people are going through a breakup at the same time. I’m not alone. And more importantly, if other people can go through it, so can I. I’m really glad I made the blog. I post almost every day.”

I like to think my writing has improved too 😙

I didn’t break up with that guy until June of 2016, nearly 8 months after starting this blog, and after 2 years and 9 months together. Now this next thing is an unnecessary detail but you’ll need it to understand a neat fact (to me, at least😙) later: our anniversary was September 13th.

I’ve been in a few relationships after that first one — two short, non-serious ones, and a serious one which lasted 2 years and 7 months. Here’s the neat fact: That serious boyfriend? Our anniversary was September 12th. How wild is that?? The first guy was September 13th, the anniversaries were a day apart! I think that’s neat lmao 😙😄

If you’ve been here since the beginning, you might remember the story of that first relationship. I’ll sum it up quickly: I was young (15) and we were in love but incompatible. I was into personal growth and he wasn’t so I quickly outgrew him, but my attachment to him was so strong I struggled to leave for years, trying and failing twice until one day I finally worked up the courage to end it once and for all.

Since the day I started this blog, I’ve continuously developed my understanding of relationship dynamics, breakup recovery, and mental/emotional wellbeing. I’ve also deepened my self-awareness and grown as a person in so many ways. I don’t know everything; I’m always learning new things, and I still make mistakes. I’ve always loved learning, and since 2012, I’ve loved psychology and personal growth as well. Nearly every day for the past 6 + years, I’ve been digesting, accumulating and sharing resources for healthy relationships, breakup recovery and self-compassion. I’ve read many books and countless articles, watched hundreds of videos, and I’ve learned from experts in the field such as Melody Beattie, Dr. Alexandra Solomon, Christine and Bret Eartheart, Mark Groves, Hailey Magee, Dr. Jordan B. Peterson, Eckhart Tolle and many more.

Though I owe much to these people, I’ve also learned a tremendous amount from my own experiences. My heart has been cracked wide open more than once, and each time I got better at moving on — discovering, practicing and refining the strategies I now share with you on this blog and Instagram. I’m a recovering codependent, I have abandonment wounds, and although my attachment style is more secure these days, I still have anxious-avoidant tendencies. I am a work-in-progress, and I love it. I’ve realized that not only is perfection impossible — if it weren’t, it would be a deterrent to true intimacy. Brené Brown says it best, “Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.”

It’s been so incredible to watch this blog grow. Every day I encounter new people and new ideas, and so I grow as well. All of you are the reason running this blog is so engaging and worthwhile. I love seeing the impact I can have by sharing my own writing and the work of others. On this blog, most of what I share is by other people, though I share my own as well (if you’re looking for all my work in one place, the best place to look is my Pinterest, as I post my IG/FB/Tumblr photos there as well as my Tweets).

You’ve all given me so much. Having adhd, there aren’t too many things I don’t lose interest in. In the past 6 + years, my interest in and commitment to this blog has never wavered. In fact, the intensity of my passion just keeps growing. I keep coming up with new ideas and never run out of things to talk about. I never get tired of reading your comments, answering your asks and responding to your messages. As you probably know, I joined Instagram and started posting my original content there. More recently, I joined Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Patreon as well. And in 2020, a pivotal change occurred. I realized I could make this my career if I devote myself to it. So I started researching, and for a whole year, I spent hours per day learning and planning, preparing to take the plunge and launch my business as a breakup recovery coach! You might know this already, but I want to be a psychotherapist — I’ve known since 2012 that this is my path. I’m currently in uni, and it will be quite a while before I become a therapist. So in the meantime, coaching is the perfect avenue and practice for me. I thought it would be years until I got to do something I love for a living, something that adds meaning to my life — but here I am! Working on this blog, Instagram and my other socials, and getting to work with amazing, growth-oriented clients — my favourite kind. 😌😊 I just feel so blessed, and so excited about the future. A lot has been happening and I just keep getting busier — and I love it.

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here. If you’re a long-time follower, you’re one of the many people who’ve helped shape who I am today, and for that I owe you — I hope to return the favour by continuing to add value to your life. If you’re new, thank you for helping me continue doing what I love. I don’t get paid for it and that’s okay, I don’t plan on monetizing this blog. Your being here helps me find new ways to expand and evolve, and affirms that this is where I belong.

Truly, thank you. 💙

And thanks for reading! Take care! ☺️

~ Bella ✨

December 10th 2021

#long post #as always 😏#bella gets personal #bella love coach

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moonbeamsung · 3 years

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hey! this has been getting popular recently, so pair your moots with an nct fic trope or/and ship them with nct?? i love your works too!! can't wait for the next one :)) heh

(anon, i’m so sorry this took so long! thanks for your patience! this also kinda turned into association instead of ships but i also base ships on similarities? so it works out hehe)

🎄dear moots: think of these ships/mini fics as a small christmas/holiday/end of the year gift from me to you! i sincerely hope you like them, it’s not much but it’s the least i can do to express my gratitude for all the love and happiness you’ve made me feel this year, even if we’ve just recently met! i’m so thankful for all of you and i love you very much!🎄

hi lovely anon!! <3 omg you love my works? that means so much to me, i hope you’re having a wonderful day!! thank you so much for sending me this, i had been hoping to do something like it for a while🥺

for my closer moots, i’m gonna combine these, so i’ll outline a fic trope/idea and the pairing will be who i ship you with! hopefully this won’t become an essay lol. warning: it does

i don’t want to leave anyone out, so for those of you that i’m not quite as close with or have met more recently, i’ll just give you a ship! i hope that’s okay🥺and if i’m still forgetting someone then i’m really really sorry, please let me know and i’ll make sure to add you next time!

read more cut because this is a looooot. open at your own risk and prepare for many many MANY blocks of text... also these are in alphabetical order by url!!

——ships + fics——

@astroboy-lele: a best friends to lovers au with chenle, no doubt about it. furou is one of my closest friends on here and our conversations are almost always chaotic, but when they aren’t, they’re full of love and appreciation for each other because she deserves it! major chenle vibes, they’re both so adorable too. her humor is great, all the jokes we have together make me absolutely wheeze oml. i really don’t know what i would do without her kindness sometimes, when i want to give up at something she’s so quick to reassure me. furou, thanks for encouraging me and for always being such a strong source of happiness🥺also, i hope you never doubt your amazing talents because they are a gift to this world!! but enough with the super deep stuff because this is way too long, so the plot would go something like this: you met one day when you heard him practicing piano in the band room by himself. you’re both shy at first so it’s a blush fest when he notices you’ve been listening to him play the whole time, but one not-so-awkward introduction later, you realize you have some things in common and that you share a class or two. you come over for study sessions & work together on partner projects, conversations lighthearted and full of endless laughter. in addition, you also show your support for each other’s talents and dreams, with him attending your dance performances and clapping louder than anyone else in the audience, and you attending his recitals, heart swelling with more pride and appreciation than you thought was possible. any time that you spend together usually ends with you asleep on his chest while he taps away at a piano app on his phone because he knows it calms you down, humming softly by your ear. as the sunlight streams in from his window and illuminates your face, he takes one look at you and decides that you’ve become so much more than just a best friend to him after everything you’ve been through together in such a short time. but will he ever find the courage to tell you how he feels?

@danishmiilk: i can’t really explain it, but i just picture late nights walking through city streets in a strangers to lovers au with doyoung by your side. xing-yi has a lot of love to give to others and so much to offer the writing community, and also she’s somewhat of a social butterfly, at least i think so! it makes me so happy seeing her interact with her moots and she always looks out for others! i also imagine that she has a cute bunny smile but also maybe not HAHA anyway i just love xing-yi a lot. here’s the fic: doyoung, the one who always seems to know everything, is forced to ask for directions in a foreign city. shamefully standing on the sidewalk, he stops you mid-step with a small hand gesture, because even though he doesn’t know you at all, you look like you probably won’t walk away or dismiss his questions with a shrug. being as friendly and willing to help as you are, you oblige. with an embarrassed scratch to the back of his neck, he admits that he might forget the sequence of lefts and rights you had given him, but you’re unfazed and simply offer to walk him there yourself, since it isn’t terribly far anyway. doyoung, lightly flustered since he’s not quite sure how to thank you for your trouble and feeling bad for taking the time out of your day, fumbles with asking for your number. he’s cute, you think, and before you part you insist on showing him around the city some more before he leaves, glancing at the sheepish but smitten man over your shoulder with a smile as you turn to walk back home, leaving him eager to see you again.

@daybreakx: my first thought was a hogwarts au with kun! ale’s talent in writing is a beautiful hidden gem on this site, and she truly deserves so much more recognition for it. i’m so grateful for how kind she is and i want the best for her and her work always! also, the love letter network that she created to help more writers receive love, feedback, and appreciation from readers is such a generous and selfless thing to do, it shows that she has such a caring heart! all of these qualities make me think of kun, and i chose a hogwarts au because i think she just writes those especially well and hers are some of my favorites! so for the fic: the fates are definitely not on your side today, because all the friends you made on the train ride to the castle have been sorted into different houses than you, not to mention you have almost no classes with any of them. at the same time, you seem to have every class with this one boy, kun. he’s in hufflepuff, the same house as you, and because you’re always paired up as seatmates, you find yourself warming up to him throughout the year. conversations become easier during projects, you start to have study sessions in the common room when exams come around, and as first-year students, you both love experiencing all the new and exciting things that the school and the magical world has to offer together. now, you couldn’t be happier that you were sorted into hufflepuff, because otherwise you might not have become friends (and maybe more..) with him!

@donkey-hyuck: vy is way more hilarious and talented than others give her credit for, and not to mention the way everyone adores her for always being so loving and showering them with her affection and support😭i’m thinking of a sci-fi au with jeno! she’s just so hardworking with her writing and on her collabs, & i think she’s strong-willed because she always pursues her goals no matter what! she has such a bright personality and also, like jeno’s her smile is just the CUTEST thing ever!!!! i will never be over it istg🥺fic: in a world full of new technology and controlled by a government unwilling to remember the past and all its traditions, a band of rebels come together and take it upon themselves to go back in time and discover what their reality used to look like long ago. one fateful day on their quest to uncover the mystery of the past, they stumble upon you, unaware of their cause but eager to join them. you take after one of the boys particularly well, lee jeno. though he’s assigned the role of warrior, he’s well-rounded and could easily succeed at any task the group may need him to complete. extremely passionate about the group’s goal, the two of you share a dedication that only brings you closer with time, working together and just being complete badasses. when you aren’t navigating through streets full of neon signs and angular buildings, you fall into the rhythm of a relationship. though you may not know much about each other’s pasts yet, one thing’s for sure: you can definitely see a future with one another.

@fairvtale: a soulmate au with jisung! i mean, keia is just the peak of cuteness, love, positivity, and everything sweet and nice!! how could i not ship her with the adorable park jisung himself😭she’s so full of compassion for everyone she meets and is so loved and appreciated for not only her great personality but also her talents! now, in this soulmate universe, you and your soulmate share the same preferences! so when you hear someone standing in line ahead of you at the ice cream shop order your favorite flavor, your heart skips a beat. of course, it’s not the first time it’s happened, but something feels different today. when you see who the voice belongs to, you just know that the tall but also shy boy is meant for you, and being brave, you approach the small two-person table he sits down at, making small talk until you both realize that you have a little too much in common for it to be a coincidence... :D <3

@ferie-anon: i’m picturing a bookstore au with shopkeeper!taeil, you just give off really insightful but also curious vibes!! both you and taeil make me think of wisdom(especially with your astrology knowledge! it amazes me so much omg), and also, you both have hearts of gold🥺💝fic: a new book shop opens up in your town, and eager to find a new story to dive into, you enter one day to find taeil behind the counter with a smile on his face that’s so bright you don’t even notice his smaller but adorable stature. he guides you, his first customer, through the rows of books to find one that interests you. since the store has multiple copies, he finds himself reading the same ones that you buy not only to enjoy them for himself, but also because it allows him to discuss them with you when you come in the next time, eager to hear each other’s thoughts and knowledge. your equal love for learning and discovery makes you a perfect match!

@flirtyhyuck: kitty is a literal ray of sunshine into my life, so who else would i ship him with than haechan? (i know i once said jaemin but shh) he is so encouraging, always makes me smile and my heart burst, i’m really thankful for all the times he checks in on me and i just feel very loved talking to him. he deserves all the love in the world, really and truly. for the au, maybe a strangers to lovers with barista!haechan! your favorite cafe has a new worker that’s attracting all the attention lately. haechan makes the funniest jokes and comments at the register, and everyone asks for him to ring them up just so they can laugh at his sarcasm. but he’s also so attentive to each and every customer, making sure the order is nothing short of perfect and exactly what they wanted. you always sit at one of the bar-style seats as you enjoy your favorite drink, legs dangling from the elevated chair as you watch him bustle about behind the cashier station and among the machines & supplies. one day it’s closing time, he’s cleaning up for the night but he lets you stay a few more minutes, something he wouldn’t do for anyone else. leaning over the marble countertop that your cup rests on, he swipes a fingertip through the whipped cream on top of your drink and lightly taps your nose with it, making you giggle endearingly at the ticklish sensation and giving him the courage to ask you out. with a smile, you agree. ‘sure, but let’s go somewhere other than a coffee shop, please.’

@fruityutas: emily (pt 1 HAHA) seriously cracks me up SO MUCH, not to mention she has one the best laughs i’ve heard and it’s super lovable haha. i don’t know what else to call it but i’d give her a wedding date(?) au with hendery! even when i didn’t know her very well and we had just recently met she was super friendly and inviting. for some reason i feel like hendery would also play the sims lol, anyway! onto the fic: when given the opportunity to bring a ‘plus one’ to a friend’s special day, your other friend hendery swoops in with an arm around your shoulder as you reread the invitation out loud, wondering who to ask. not so subtly, he offers to accompany you, and not wanting to be the only one without a guest, you agree to his proposal (no pun intended). dressed in your best formalwear and with stiffly linked arms, you navigate through the ceremony, only loosening up a bit at the reception. hendery is determined to make you smile with his exaggerated dancing, twirling you and making you more than glad you brought him along. you do get a few comments from other guests on what a ‘cute couple’ you are, leading you both to exchange glances before bursting into laughter. it starts to become less and less implausible, though. you catch hendery’s eye right after you find the bride’s flower bouquet in your grasp, suddenly realizing there could be more between you than you realized...

@jenojam: i was totally not influenced by your preschool series at all haha, but a preschool au with teacher!kun comes to mind! vina is always there for me, she’s so caring and attentive to everything i tell her!! i get mom friend vibes i guess, she’s just so sweet and i feel super loved and cared for whenever we interact, i’m really grateful for her endless support🥺for the fic, kun is a coworker of yours at the preschool you teach at. you both have such a strong passion for teaching and it helps you bond, leading to many days spent side-by-side, fondly watching your students play with their friends at recess or do activities and play games in class. even the small children in your class can see how much wider you smile when you’re in the same room. with the sweetest and most innocent of intentions, shenanigans ensue of your well-meaning but slightly mischievous students trying to get kun to confess to you, whether it be by writing a message in sidewalk chalk or making a bracelet out of craft beads for him to give you.

@jisungsmochi: hm, i’m thinking...a high school/college au with theatre kid!xiaojun🥺i ship nat with xiaojun because she’s just the sweetest, she has a hidden chaotic side (imo lol) and just a great sense of humor as well! she’s so fun to talk to and you can’t help but love her🥺picture this: you’re both in english class together, and one day there’s a mix-up. he accidentally grabs your essay and you end up with his script for the school musical. you have no choice but to go to one of his rehearsals to swap them back, but as you’re standing in the doorway, you’re captivated by his performance! little do you know, he’s absolutely in awe of your writing, even in a simple literature paper. your admiration for each other’s talents leads to you sitting in the back of the theater doing your homework every day after school, listening to his voice ring out across the large room, and he gets a confidence boost knowing you’re there watching him act, dance, and sing. he always winks at you from onstage and you’re beyond starstruck every time, your english paper quickly becoming forgotten as soon as he meets your eyes with a charming smile.

@lebrookestore: well, a royal au with prince!/childhood friend!taeyong comes to mind. brooke is a lot like taeyong because she’s so considerate and generous but also can be very professional and calm when she needs to be! (i think i told you already but you have this ~duality~ in a way, like ty haha.) so..you both grow up in the castle, scampering away from the staff in the large hallways and just enjoying the excitement of life. one day when you’re a bit older, you come across a stranger in the forest as you’re exploring. they turn out to be from the next kingdom over, but something about them is familiar: you’re sure you’ve seen a ‘wanted’ poster with their face plastered on it. you manage to warn taeyong in his ear before you hear the stranger’s footsteps speed up, and you both start sprinting as fast as possible. quickly working together since you know each other so well, you devise a plan to get them caught in a tangle of vines you remember seeing on your way into the forest, so you can bring back reinforcements to arrest the dangerous criminal. it works, but instead of turning to give taeyong a high five in celebration, he’s already in front of you and thanking you for your quick thinking with a hug, suddenly realizing that how much he loves you after seeing your brave and clever side emerge, just two of the many traits that made you win his heart.

@navyhyuck: vee’s name has basically become synonymous with happiness at this point, hearing from her in my inbox/messages or seeing a post/work of hers on my dash is so comforting and makes me smile more than she knows. since she’s the epitome of sweetness, i’ll say a bakery au with jaemin! i really appreciate knowing someone like her, and the encouragement she gives me is so heartwarming🥺the way she sends asks in the mornings makes me feel so ridiculously loved and at ease, her presence in itself is a gift to this site. tumblr really doesn’t deserve her!! i’m so happy that we’ve grown close and i don’t know what i would do without her and her kindness in my life. fic: you sign up for a baking class at a quaint, local pastry shop to learn how to make desserts and treats, since baking was a hobby you had enjoyed as a child with your family and now you hoped to learn how to do it on your own. little did you know that your instructor would be even more saccharine than the sugary treats you were making. his flirtatious nature leads to many mishaps in the kitchen as you get distracted while trying to follow along with the simple directions, instead making a mess of the icing and sprinkles and nearly confusing the measurements of ingredients. he finds it adorable, though, and towards the end of the session he sneaks a bite of one of the french macarons you put together, a bright smile lighting up his features as he compliments you on it. he teases you by reminding you to pay more attention next time, and with a comeback so quick that even you’re surprised, you take him up on that offer, implying that you’d be back for another class soon. “good. we’re making crème brûlée next week,” he informs with a wink as you both part ways. boy, was he sweeter than sugar.

@orange-nimon-cross: yunha deserves someone who knows the true her and has always been by her side, so i’d say a neighbor/boy next door au with winwin/sicheng. her personality is unique and complex like sicheng’s, and like him i also admire her for lots of reasons, such as her honesty and the pride she takes in writing as well as her passion for it in general. she’s very sweet, so supportive whenever i need it, and deserves so much more recognition for her beautiful work!!💕fic: your neighborhood holds a classic and oh-so-cliche summer block party every year, the smell of smoke and sounds of laughter moving through the air and into your open window. when a bad day gets you down and you hesitate to join in the festivities, sicheng is the only one who can get through to you, not forcing you to talk about anything and just sitting beside you on your bed in silence, which seems to be the most comforting thing anyone can do at the moment. when you tell him you’re ready(which he asks you to confirm many times, because that’s just how much he cares about you and wants you to be fully comfortable and okay), he takes your hand and leads you outside and onto the burning asphalt of the street with other friends and families, the blissful feeling of summer putting you at ease and the gentle evening breeze carrying away your cares with it. and like a springtime flower, although one season late, your relationship begins to blossom into one full of even more love and consideration for each other than it was before.

@radiorenjun: a doctor au with renjun! angie is slightly (okay, very) chaotic but also very lovable!! i don’t know if she’s an aries but she gives off serious aries energy. she’s confident and optimistic and really approachable! i’m so happy she reached out to me one day and we became friends from there🥺in the fic, renjun is a resident at your hospital studying under you and learning the ropes of being a doctor. when you first met each other, you actually mistook him for a coworker with how professional he seemed, but the confusion made a small, adorable blush rise to his cheeks. shy and timid at first, he takes notes and helps you do your job without complaint. when you offer part of your routine to him, he gratefully accepts and does the task perfectly, growing more comfortable in his position and relationship with you as he receives more opportunities to show his skill. sharing stories and experiences from medical school on your lunch breaks and smiling when you finish each other’s sentences about patients and their prescribed care, you realize that you’ve fallen for the soon-to-be doctor, and that no stethoscope could possibly measure the beating of your heart around him.

@rouiyan: so you know how you said you were excited for my wip that’s a strangers to lovers au with animal shelter worker!jeno? that’s what this is(loosely anyway)!!🥺ree reminds me of jeno in the fact that she’s such a sweetheart in every interaction with anyone, it feels like you’ve been her friend for ages! and then you look at her writing that’s just so damn good and sophisticated and i’m always so amazed with everything she puts out, just like how jeno’s talents amaze me as well! now for the fic: your beloved dog runs off in the park, but luckily a boy walking nearby lunges for the leash as it drags behind the animal. you thank him repeatedly, and he explains that the little puppy might have tried to leave your grasp only because she wants to make a new friend. the park is full of other dogs, after all. he mentions that he works at the shelter nearby and suggests that maybe you should adopt a second one to keep her company. not seeing any reason why you shouldn’t, you meet him the next day and spend time together picking out a new puppy. many more days are spent giving the fluffy little animals lots of pets and scratches behind the ears, and playing with them. you’re not sure what’s cuter: the dogs, or jeno’s eye smile.

@ru-lin: (the fic was kinda inspired by what you told me about your job in our messages the other day hehe) i’d say a christmas au with mark! ruth is so considerate and a pleasure to talk to, we actually have a lot in common! she’s very warm and caring and always looking out for others. i can tell she really values her friends and they’re so lucky to have her, she’s just so sweet all around! talking to her makes my day a lot brighter whenever we interact🥺fic: during the holidays you always work at a christmas market, helping customers pick out pretty much anything they could ever want that’s associated with the chilly month and all its festivities. when a shy boy that’s adorably awkward and clumsy stumbles into the shopping area, you bite back a small laugh at his endearing hesitation to ask for assistance. speaking up first, you ask if there’s anything he needs and he explains that he’s looking for the perfect tree. with a knowing smile, you lead him down the rows of tall pines and firs and any kind of christmas tree you could possibly imagine. when his eyes land on one that he likes, his eyes light up with excitement, and you help him load it into his car. as mark is halfway home he curses, realizing he forgot to pick up a wreath as well. he knows it’ll earn him a playful scolding from his group of friends, but if it means another chance to return to the market and see you, it’s worth it.

@rvse-hvvck: i feel like i ship so many people with jaemin but it’s just because they’re so especially full of kindness and love for others, and ana is no exception! i’d give her a matchmaker au with jaemin! ana is so incredibly selfless and her heart is so compassionate, it’s crazy. i really look up to her in a lot of ways! the first impression she made on me was already a great one because i saw so many writers receiving her beautiful love letters, and from that moment alone i could already tell how much she strives to be kind and generous in everything she says and does. i hope she knows how much everyone truly adores her and is grateful for her, because she really makes the world a better and brighter place. (if you’ve seen the movie clueless i guess this fic is sorta similar!) so, you’re the resident expert on relationships among your school community, always trying to pair up people with similar interests or that have a lot of chemistry together. it brings you joy because you love seeing your friends laughing and smiling with their partners, but you feel a twinge of sadness at the same time. when jaemin, the boy you’ve liked for a while, comes to you for advice, you push down your feelings for him and send him on dates with anyone you can think of. the whole time though, he’s only had his eyes on you. he has always admired your altruism and your dedication to making others happy. it hurts him to see that you’re not even giving yourself a chance, so with a simple but heartfelt confession in the school parking lot at sunset, he helps you realize that you deserve a love like you’ve helped so many others find.

@sly-merlin: talking to simmi is always something very healing (like yuta’s smile hehe) so i’d definitely give her a secret agent/spy au with partner!yuta! she is so friendly to anyone and everyone, she gives off this warm and loving vibe like that of an old friend🥺she’s also extremely dedicated to her studies and works so hard. everyone adores her, and seeing her talk about things that make her happy is just the cutest thing ever! simmi, you truly have everyone’s heart!! now for the fic: you and yuta are both spies, partnered up for a very important and serious mission. only problem is, he’s never been the serious type. he teases you for being so uptight, but you genuinely don’t know any other way to approach a mission. along the way though, he manages to teach you how to have a little fun with your job, even if it means lots of close calls and sticky situations that force you both to begrudgingly (well, you more so than him) pretend you’re an oblivious couple in order to escape suspicious eyes. eventually, you find yourself becoming less and less unwilling to throw a casual arm around his shoulder, even when you aren’t at risk of being caught on your mission. maybe he isn’t so bad after all... :)

@suhpressed: a strangers to lovers au with theatre usher!johnny. so you know how johnny’s like an older brother to mark? i get major comforting and warm big sis vibes from elaida!! i would ship her with johnny because they’re both such selfless and caring people! she’s not afraid to speak her mind, and she always looks out for others with kindness and encouragement! as for the fic: you’re finally attending a broadway show you’ve been dying to see since, well, forever. this really cute usher helps you find your seat, but in a rare stroke of clumsiness, he bumps someone with a glass of wine in their hand that ends up staining your blouse a dark red. like the gentleman johnny (you can see it on his nametag) is, he promises to buy you a new one, and writes his phone number on the show’s program. you enjoy the musical, but the digits scribbled down next to the performers’ names prove to be more distracting than you anticipated. throughout the show you’re really jittery, excited to get back home so you can text him. in addition to replacing your ruined shirt, he also invites you out for coffee over the phone, you agree, and you both hit it off. the rest is history! the way that you met becomes a favorite story among your friends and families, & they never miss a chance to tease you two about spilling drinks.

@tyongxnct: elida, where do i begin🥺right away, i think of an idol au with taeyong. she is just so caring and supportive, she likes or comments on my posts and can make me smile with just a few words!! i remember one time that she said she was lucky to have me as a moot and it really warmed my heart, i’m so so lucky to have her too! i can tell she’s passionate about writing and that it brings her so much joy! i wish her only the best in life always <3 in the fic: during a tour, nct 127 stops in your country for a few nights of concerts, and in the midst of the excitement on the way back from the venue, taeyong gets separated from the rest. in an unfamiliar environment, he begins to panic as he remembers that he left his phone on the tour bus and has no way to contact his manager or fellow members. you, while familiar with and respectful of the group but not an avid follower of their music, catch sight of the lost and more than frazzled man as he frantically paces along the sidewalk, trying to recall his surroundings when he exited the bus hours ago. had it not been for your observant gaze, you may have missed the small group logo on his white shirt, letting you know who he was. determined to ease his obvious nerves by helping him find his way back, you lend a hand by approaching him and asking what he remembers. despite only being given a few details, you know the area he describes, quickly leading him there and reuniting him with the rest of the group. more than grateful, he offers you a ticket to the last show there, and hopes that it won’t be the last time he sees you.

@yo-ddream: a childhood best friends to lovers au with jungwoo! emily (pt 2/granny okay sorry i’m done) also feels like somewhat of an older sister to me, she gives great advice and always seems to have a story to tell from her working adventures lol. she’s very witty and extremely kind!! i guess i get jungwoo vibes because at first she seems quiet, but once you get to know her and she opens up a bit you see her fun personality and humor shine through when you talk to her :) she’s also honest about what she thinks and doesn’t sugarcoat it, something that’s very much needed in a person! okay, onto the fic: you and jungwoo grew up in the same neighborhood, going to the same school, getting your first part-time jobs at same store a few blocks down from your street. your lives have been intertwined from the start, but when a family matter pops up, it threatens his place by your side in almost everything you do and puts your friendship and undisclosed feelings for each other at risk. both working up the courage to confess as time ticks down and it gets closer to the day he’s meant to move away, you spend every moment with each other enjoying life’s little moments, the simple things like watching the sunset on a park bench or taking a walk down the sidewalk of the town shopping center. in an extremely convenient stroke of luck, he gets word that things have been sorted out, and the move is off. in both of your delight at the news, you feel like nothing can stop you. you blurt out the same three words at the same time before launching your arms around one another. if it’s you and jungwoo against the world, so be it, because not even the universe had the heart to separate the bond between you.

@zzzzzcakes: zel🥺she’s always been super supportive of me and my work, i’m happy she left feedback on a fic of mine because i might not have reached out to express my gratitude for her words and gotten to know her otherwise! she’s very kind and positive, and seeing her posts and reblogs make me laugh all the time :D i’d say a grocery store au with sungchan. (hear me out i know you must be going ‘huh?’ but trust me on this one! in that recent post you made you said something about shopping carts, and it made me think...see where this is going? haha ANYWAY!) so sungchan is the newest employee at the supermarket where you work. he’s the go-to person to call when someone can’t reach an item on one of the highest shelves, earning bewildered stares from customers and coworkers alike. he always has a joke up his sleeve or a clever remark to make about the many challenges of working in retail. you take a liking to him for how down-to-earth he is and despite all the occasional sarcasm coming from him when you’re both in the break room, he’s very helpful whenever he’s needed. he also admires how focused you are on the job, ringing up endless items and bagging groceries until your hands hurt. whenever he strides down an aisle near the register you’re working at that day, he doesn’t hesitate to send a wave and an endearing grin your way. it’s the moments like that with him that get you through your shift and keep you going. it’s no surprise when you reveal to the rest of the staff that you’re dating. of course, the perks of being employees mean that you can spend many late nights racing each other in shopping carts at the back of the store near closing time and other mischievous activities of the sort, laughing when your manager scolds you over the loudspeaker system without a care in the world.

——ships——

@badwithten: zoe is someone full of both humor and heart, a combination that immediately reminds me of lucas, so i’d 100% ship her with him! she��s given me really good advice and encouragement to stay true to myself, something i can also see lucas doing, and i’m very grateful for her wise words :) and like i said, her heart is full of love and she’s so kind to everyone!

@bucchinct: i’m not sure if we’ve ever interacted, but i always see your posts on my dash and you reblog so many artistic and pretty things/pictures, which makes me think of jaemin and his hobby of photography! so i would ship you with him ^_^

@du0tine: i’d ship solange with ten, for a number of reasons! one, the fact that she mountain climbs for a living and is so dedicated to/passionate about it is something extremely admirable and amazing, so she comes across as very brave and adventurous! also, she’s not afraid to tell others her opinions and that honesty is really refreshing to see! and her blog themes are super artistic which reminds me of ten as well. she just seems like a great person in general and i hope to get to know her more!

@ethaeriyeol: i haven’t really talked to bea much, but i know she is good friends with a few of my other moots so i think that says something about the kind of person she is! i would ship her with jaehyun, she seems really professional (and lowkey intimidating but you didn’t hear it from me) but also very sweet and welcoming and i imagine they both have the cutest smiles, with or without dimples, hehe.

@euphoricdreamies: i’d ship maddy with chenle! she has such a great sense of humor and it’s so much fun to read about her oc’s, i love keeping up with the plots! i’ve followed her for a while but we just recently started talking, she’s very friendly🥺maddy’s just been nothing but nice to me, and i feel like she has a sarcastic and witty side. also, she deserves so much more recognition for her talent and i think everyone deserves to read her amazing work!

@felixn-recs: it’s been a while since i talked to you, but i’m really thankful that you left some of the first feedback i ever received on my writing! i know for a fact that authors really appreciate you and the kind feedback/support that you show their works. this eagerness to show writers your encouragement and praise makes me think of mark for sure, so i would ship you with him!

@fullsuhnny: angelina seems like the type to be somewhat reserved, but still very generous and selfless towards others, reminding me of kun! when she interacts with people she’s humble and sweet, and i enjoy seeing her reblogs pop up on my dash. i think she’s a wonderful friend to everyone and i hope to become closer with her in the future! also, her blog theme is so cool and aesthetic hehe :D

@gowonhatesyou: renjun all the way, krystal always makes me and others laugh so much with her humor and her entertaining personality. but at the same time, while she can be chaotic and sarcastic, she’s also extremely loving and sociable. i can tell she cares a lot about those around her and wants only the best for them! i really value her friendship🥺

@heartyyjeno: i’d ship alesha with jaemin, she’s so much like him to me. first of all, because she would do anything to make her friends smile or brighten their day! she has a warm personality that makes others feel very loved. she’s also very determined and perseverant, because when things get tough she doesn’t give up and continues to pursue her dreams and do what she loves, even when it may be difficult. i’m positive that everyone she knows appreciates having her and her endless kindness in their life! <3

@injunified: nathalie is really sweet and generous, and i’m really happy that she’s started posting more of her works recently, they definitely deserve all the recognition that they’re getting and more!! i don’t know her super well but she’s a great friend to have, so I’d ship her with winwin/sicheng! i hope she can continue writing because she definitely has a lot of talent for it🥺

@jaeminscoffee: lyra is very warm, friendly, and she was eager to get to know me when we first met, so i would ship her with johnny! i really enjoy talking to her, and she’s also very down-to-earth! she never hesitates to show her appreciation for her friends and followers, and i really look up to her for it🥺

@lovelygalaxy333: lilly is so so lovable and sweet, i would definitely ship her with shotaro! my heart literally threatens to explode whenever i talk to her, and she reblogs the cutest, kindest things! like shotaro, i just wanna protect her because she’s such a special soul and also very positive! even if she just sends a simple ‘hello’ in my inbox from time to time, it puts the biggest smile on my face and i’m so grateful for her!

@meraki-mark: li is very humble and friendly, so i would ship her with xiaojun! she also seems somewhat quiet and calm to me, i was almost intimidated when we first interacted haha. something i admire about her is that i believe she’s the kind of person to truly be dedicated to writing what she wants and not just for the sake of notes! that kind of commitment is really nice to see :)

@minyusa: whenever i see miku on my dash, she always seems to be showing her support for a work or conversing with a friend. she’s there to lend some encouragement and sweet words to those that need it! her good-nature and pure thoughtfulness reminds me of jeno. she’s so nice to talk to and deserves love, no questions asked! you’re a very genuine and warm-hearted person, so i’d ship you with him~ （＾ν＾）

@moonlightjeno: we don’t know each other very well but just from looking at luna’s writing, i think the types of fics and aus she writes are very diverse and unique! her well-rounded work makes me think of haechan, so i’ll ship her with him! i believe we have some of the same moots so she seems very kind and social as well!

@neonun-au: okay, maybe it’s because ‘multitudes’ has been on my mind ever since i read it but my first thought was to ship mads with taeil! her writing is so elegant and beautiful, i’m so glad her work gets all the recognition that it does! as silly as it sounds for me to say, even her sh*tposts seem sophisticated for some reason hahaha. she’s just so sweet, talented and always so gracious!

@peachjaem00: lou comes across as very laidback and charming, two things that remind me of yangyang! she’s a pleasure to interact with, and i feel like she has a lot of friends, i mean, who wouldn’t want someone like her in their life? she’s such a supportive and inviting person by nature, and i can tell she works hard and puts so much effort into her writing because it’s so good!!

@prettyjaems: i believe i said it once before so pardon the repetition, but whenever i interact with mona i feel loved and cared for like nobody’s business😭which immediately makes jaemin come to mind. she doesn’t hesitate to show kindness to anyone and everyone, but also has a quiet and focused side at times, and i think as a person, she has so many great qualities that balance out and make up her considerate personality! she’s also really motivated and organized with her writing, i hope to learn a thing or two from those work habits of hers :)

@rueyins: one fateful day when i was craving some good old interaction, rue reached out to me just to say hello and ask how i was doing, something that makes me think of taeyong! i really love how caring she is towards everyone she knows, and also her music taste is great, which also makes me think of taeyong, haha🥺the way she looks out for others is such a special quality to have, i’m so glad we’ve become friends!!

@vitamarkie: i would ship kay with mark! i see her interact with her moots a lot, and she just seems very loved all around by everyone that knows her! also, she writes the softest, prettiest, fluffiest stories, and for some reason i think of the fact that mark once said he wanted be an author when he grew up. her skills are seriously amazing and, just like i admire mark for his talent, i admire kay a lot for hers!

@whathamelon: hmm you have a good sense of humor and also seem very friendly because we have some of the same moots! you’re also not shy about showing appreciation to your favorite fics and authors, so i would ship you with johnny!

@yunwoo: i feel like anna is on the soft-spoken, quieter side but still very very sweet, so i would ship her with jisung! she’s really lovable and so comforting to talk to, even though we don’t know each other too well yet. just from her blog she seems so adorable and i want to hug her and talk to her more🥺also her aesthetic is the softest thing EVER i love it so much!!😭

#hannah’s end of the year appreciation post!#please feel free to write any of these because there’s no way i’d ever have the time to do so lmao #hannah ships her moots #moonbeamsung’s mutuals #i love you and thank you all!#terrified that since this is so long tumblr’s gonna find a way to mess it up aaaa #nervous to ping everyone as well but here we go! hehe #anon ୭̥⋆*｡#it’s literally going on two weeks since you sent this i am so very sorry omg🥲

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faterpresources · 3 years

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Anonymous:

Do you have any advice on how to start an rp blog? I feel like there's so much to do and so many specific things, it looks intimidating, but I really want to get into it (and your blog seems like a safe space to ask as a baby in the matter)

Hi! Thanks you for asking and for trusting. I do admit that rping on tumblr can look daunting and there is a series of things that are considered “etiquette” that might not be obvious for newcomers. And the only way to learn is to ask, right? As I’m not sure if you would like something more specific or a step-by-step, I’m going to go through the whole process.

note: this is a repost from an ask in a more reblog-friendly format

1. Setting up the blog

You might want to make a new e-mail account for each blog you want. I recommend making a gmail/google account, so you may be able to use other services and associate them with your blog. I’ll go into more details in a minute.

Some people would rather have a personal blog and then making the RP blog as a side-blog. Or a “hub” blog and many side-blogs so they have everything centralized. The downside is that you can’t follow people with side-blogs, only the main – and some rpers are a little suspicious of personal blogs, so if you intend to go this route it might be a good idea to state somewhere in your blog that you have a RP blog.

Tip : It isn’t said too often, but I recommend saving your blog’s e-mail and password somewhere, maybe a flashdrive or even google drive. This way, if something happens you will be able to retrieve your account.

When picking the URL, for a very long time tumblr had problems tagging URLs with a hyphen ( - ). I’m not sure if it has been fixed or if there are still some issues, so I recommend only using letters and maybe numbers. Other than that, pick anything that sounds nice to you!

Themes are nice, but not entirely necessary. Not everybody has photoshop skills and all that. Some people do have commissioned themes, but if you want to try your hand at it my first stop is usually @theme-hunter or @sheathemes . They reblog many themes from many creators, so there are always many options that might suit your needs. Some creators offer very newcomer-friendly themes that you can configure a lot of things without much hassle but some might require basic HTML knowledge – a few creators have guides on how to properly set up their themes and are willing to and answer questions, so don’t be afraid to contact them! You can also send me an ask, I’m not a specialist but I can certainly help walk you through the basics.

Tip: @glenthemes have very good themes and a basic installation guide here.

When fiddling with the options, try to pick colors that have nice contrast and are easy to read. If you are bad at picking colors or have problems in finding the code for them, I recommend trying this link. There is also this one that auto-generate palettes.

Tip : If you mess with your theme, remember there is the Theme Recovery.

Tip: If you use Chrome or Firefox you can set up different profiles and associate each with a different blog, so you don’t need to log out from any of your accounts.

There are two pages that I recommend having: one is an about your muse. If they are an OC, it is always a good idea to have at least some information out there to make things easier. If they are from a canon source, not everybody is familiar with the material so it might be a good idea to state. For example, if you are going to roleplay as Altria/Arturia, it is a good idea to have a “RP blog for Saber (Altria Pendragon) from FGO/FSN “ somewhere visible. The other page that is a good idea having is a rules/guidelines page. This one can be a little intimidating, but it is usually a way to communicate important things. For example: are you comfortable writing violence? Do you have any personal triggers? There is something you absolutely won’t write? There are things you may figure out along the way and it is absolutely ok to fine-tune this session every now and then. Some people also credit source for their icons and graphics in general in their rule/guideline page.

If you are using the tumblr default themes, when you create a new page you can turn on the option to show a link to the page. If you are using a custom theme, most of the time you will have to link it manually.

Oh, and if you are planning to do a multimuse, it might be a good idea to list which muses you have. The same goes for a hub blog; list the muses and link to the pages.

Icons aren’t necessary but are considered commonplace. You can find some icons I’ve done here but there are plenty of other sources. If you want to do your own icons, keep in mind to don’t make them too big, as a courtesy to your mutuals.

Tip: Anything larger than 300 pixels will be stretched to fit the post. As of today ( 4/29/2021 ) the posts are currently 540 pixels wide. This can be useful as making banners for your blog.

Tumblr allow users to “pin” posts. This mean that they will always visible if you access your blog, even on dash/mobile. You can use this to set up a post with basic links for mobile users or something else. For example, if you are out on vacations and won’t be able to do replies, you can pin a hiatus notice and then remove the pin once you are back.

2. Introducing yourself

Time to officially join the fun! (insert a “Hi, Zuko here” joke) Don’t worry if you don’t have a fancy promo graphic or anything, most people make their initial introduction with a simple post.

(as you can see, I’m not very good at saying ‘hi’)

Try to introduce yourself in a few lines, but make sure to state which muse you RP as. Some people also like adding their pen name/alias and establishing a brand. Follow as many people as you want that reblogged or liked your post, and tumblr is going to start recommending other blogs that are related to the tags you use normally or have any relation to the people you follow. You can put as many tags as you want, but tumblr will disregard more than 6 tags in their system. Try tags like “<fandom> rp” and “<fandom> roleplay” along with the media, such as “movie” “video game”, “anime” and so on.

It might also be a good idea to follow a few RP memes blogs. They often have options to break the ice, like one-liners that your mutual can send you.

Tip: Don’t forget to turn on the asks and the anon

3. Practical advice

Alright, now that you have a few mutuals, it is time to get to some general tips:

Tumblr can be a little “iffy”, and a great quality of life extension for RPers and navigation in general is installing the New Xkit extension. They offer a number of options to enhance your tumblr experience, but the ones I consider essential are the “editable reblogs”, “quick tags” and “blacklist”. Get it for Chrome or Firefox.

As a rule of thumb I recommend writing your RPs using Google Docs before posting or replying. By doing this you can do some spell check and if your browser crashes for any reason you can easily recover your work. You can also use Word, Open Office, or any text editor you feel like.

Because I’m a bit of a perfectionist, I also have Grammarly ( Chrome / Firefox ) installed for an extra layer of spell/grammar check. There is a subscription option, but the free one works perfectly fine.

To make things easier to locate, always tag the URL of your RP partner when doing a reply. There are other useful things you can tag, such as open starters, memes, and such.

Risking being obvious here, but when you are not interacting as your character it might be a good idea to tag as “ooc” or “out of character”.

Some people like making google docs with basic info and other useful stuff for easier access on mobile. It is a recent trend, it might be easier to edit as opposed to going through tumblr page editor and dealing with the HTML. You can find some templates here and here.

Tumblr’s activity can be unreliable, so don’t be afraid of contacting your partner to see if they have gotten your reply after a few weeks. However, some people also enjoy using the RP Thread Tracker in order to be on top of things. It might be a good idea to check it out.

Because of Tumblr shadowbanning and shenanigans, it isn’t unusual for people to have NSFW sideblogs (sometimes referred as ‘sin blogs’). If you want to write smut, it might be a good idea to consider making one.

Some people don’t like replying to asks, as Tumblr won’t let you remove the initial ask. It has become common to see people making new posts to reply to asks. This is a simple example:

As you can see, I used the mention to have the RP partner notified then I copied and pasted their question on my post and used the quote to indicate it. You can also have fancy graphics, like a line to separate the contents, just do whatever you feel like with the formatting or keep it simple.

To make sure your partner got the answer, I recommend copying the link to the post and pasting on the ask and then replying it privately. An example sent to my rp blog:

4. Basic Etiquette

Ok, this is a little subjective most of the time but here are a few things that are considered universal courtesy.

Never reblog someone else’s headcanons. If you enjoy it, maybe it should politely contact the author and ask if it is ok to write something based on their original idea but you should never downright copy or lift something from another creator. It is considered rude, or even theft in some cases.

Don’t reblog threads you are not involved with. It is ok to leave a like, but never reblog. This is because Tumblr can mess up the notifications and disrupt the flow of the RP.

Don’t copy other people’s graphics. It is very rude and sometimes they commission (aka: paid) for it.

Trim your posts. What does that mean? Every time you reblog with a reply, the post tends to get longer and longer, and it can cluster your and your mutuals’ dashes. This is why the New X-Kit’s “editable reblogs” is an almost must-have tool. If for some reason you can’t install X-Kit (if you are on mobile for example), then remove the previous post or ask your partner to trim for you.

Never take control of your RP partner’s muse. This is called “godmodding” and it is heavily frowned upon. It is ok to control your muse and the possible NPCs that you inserted, but never seize someone else’s character. Likewise, it can also be very upsetting if you use what people call “meta-gaming”, applying knowledge that your muse shouldn’t know about the other. For example, let’s say your RP partner’s muse is a vampire, but they have never disclosed that information to your muse, who also doesn’t have an excuse to know that (for example, being a vampire hunter) so it can be quite jarring sometimes. When in doubt, contact your partner.

This should go without saying, but RPing sexual themes with users under the age of 18 are illegal. It doesn’t matter if the age of consent in your location is lower, once you join Tumblr you are abiding by their user guidelines and the law of the state they are located in. If you are an adult, don’t engage minors with these topics, maybe a fade to black would be a better option. If you are a minor, don’t insist or you might cause a lot of legal problems for others.

Try to tag anything triggering. Violence, gore, NSFW. Both Tumblr and the New Xkit have options to block keywords.

When picking PSDs or graphics for your blog, you should avoid templates that change the color of the skin of POCs muses and try to pick the right race/ethnicity of the muse you are going to RP as. I won’t go through a lot of details, as it is a rather lengthy subject in an already lengthy conversation but keep this in the back of your mind.

Some RPers don’t like when you reblog memes from them without sending anything. Try to always reblog from a source or to interact with the person you are reblogging from, it can be rather disheartening to be seen as a meme source rather than a RP blog. This isn’t a rule and some people don’t mind, but it is always a good idea to try to do this.

This might be more of a pet peeve of mine than proper etiquette, but it is ok to use small font. What is not ok is use small font + underscript. Some people have disabilities that might make it harder for them to read it, so it might be a good idea to refrain from using it. Maybe if you feel like doing something fancier every now and then, but I wouldn’t recommend making this a habit.

Mun and Muse are different entities. Remember that it isn’t because a muse does something (especially a villain one) that the mun condones something. Never assume anything about the mun, when in doubt talk to them.

Be mindful of your partners and treat them the way you would like to be treated.

As a rule of thumb, always talk to your RP partner. It is only fun as long both of you are enjoying it.

5. Closing Words

This got longer than I expected.

Despite all of that, don’t be too worried about not being very good at first. I assure you that you will get better with time, so don’t be afraid of experimenting as long you feel comfortable. And don’t be afraid of saying “no” if something bothers you.

My inbox is always open to questions and ideas, so feel free to contact me anytime!

I would also ask my followers: there is advice I missed/overlooked? Anything you would like someone have told you when you first started? Add your thoughts so I can update this.

Happy RPing!

#roleplay advice #roleplay help #rph #rp reference #rp resources

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woozi · 3 years

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i agree how you described twt, sometimes everyone's just ready to fight it seems, i've genuinely had fun on both platforms at different times but now it's just too much on stan twt (no space for difference of opinion djsjdjj) it's good to know you're having fun as well :3 & omg i've seen few of my moots starting to give svt their attention after fallin flower dropped, everything abt it is <3333 the song, mv, choreo i love it.

hdjdjddkdjdj " virgos 😐 " also me in next breath "happy birthday mark :D i love you so much 🥺💕💗" any virgos reading this i really hope you enjoy your month to the fullest djjdjd <3. righttt?? you're correct abt mark's temper being very virgo djdjdkd.

your line screams hard-working people <3 jihoon, jaebeom, jeonghan the 3Js <3. isn't jaebeom also an infj? (i don't take mbtis seriously but at the same time it also makes me happy if it ends up matching someone i like djdjjd) chan & yugs 🥺 these two imo have the sweetest personality, like the one which makes you feel welcomed & they also have the cutest laugh 🥺.

i love jus2 <3 focus on me is one of my favorite kpop mvs of all time & also drunk on you??? i love this song so much, very sexy of them. the vibes, style and everything w/ their album, i want more songs like that. and for when i am feeling melancholy i need more songs like jjp's verse 2 😭💔 but i am also okay if they don't want to go back to these units bcoz everything so far they've been giving is just as great <33 ( maybe in future we'll get blessed w/ features 🥺)

honestly g7 as grp and individually have won me over with their music style, even if i don't like full album ik there will be 3-4 songs which will be exactly what i like to listen to, all of the music they've released individually i've liked it so much. there is this song of youngjae's, titled "i'm all ears" i had no idea of its existence until it popped up in my spotify i'm so glad it did, it's been in my playlist ever since. there was also a time when i was obsessed with jackson's 'on the rocks' djdjdk.

aww <3 the live performance video of 1° has mark as thumbnail so for long time i used to associate this song with him jdjddk. i think the only j*pe thing i'd miss is got7 studio live sessions 🥺. RIGHTJDKSKS aju nice's mv is very cute djjddk I love it, in reality its reverse tho, i see them and boom! 💖💛💗🤍💕💙

it was the year they won first bb*as award so that gave them the exposure, and no i don't follow them anymore. mixed feelings abt them, very negative feelings abt f*ndom fjdjdjd. i do miss what it used to feel like liking them sometimes. at that time i never thought i'll willingly drop them from my interest (i've stanned zayn since 2012 first him as grp member then solo. sometimes thinking abt it gives me a whiplash hddjks it's been 9 years, really thought it would be same with them too but it didn't happen)

i've had falling in love by yugs and in to you by jaebs on loop for days djdkdk i really love these two songs and also air by bammie <3 (i'm slow jams kinda person djdjdk :3)

(bam released the most fun album & title this year idc abt others, ribbon is one of the soty) also special mention of look so fine & running through the rain. yes! you do make sense they feel organic & very them.

exactly 😭 it's more believable when they drop stuff out of nowhere like encore 😭😭. the way youngjae posted his letter on twt too ddjjdkssk the announcement & release of encore is such a 'you just had to be there' situation the excitement, nervousness, confusion and everything 😭 sometimes i can't with them. also is the bibi with mark on ost, the same one you mentioned in last ask? the ost is really good <3, it must've been fun to see it happen (if its same bibi).

making a whole ass playlist just for me???? 😭😭😭🥺💗 yza you're so sweet nooooo 💖

and don't worry abt replying late jdjdkdjd i mean it, sometimes my friends text me after weeks and i'm am the same. it's really okay <3. i hope this week is treating you kindly, take care yza - 🪂

p.s ( just saw last post djjej) - it was me who manifested more bunny dino <3 manifesting even more <33

i was on stan twt during my younger years too and it was v fun and memorable to me ngl <3 idk what happened though.. it's evolved to be.. Something Else.. i still see a lot of good people there though 😭 and now that i'm in my Hag Era... idk it's just too fast for me now 😭 it's still my go-to place for updates though nothing can top twitter on that dept

and ms fallin flower.... i feel like everyone was blown away by it (based off of what i see carats when talk about it) and rightly so!! she SERVED. the looks too oh my god. it's another factor i look forward to and enjoy so much when i watch their performances!!

u know what? virgos 😐 indeed KJJKDFJKFDJKFDKJ i want to slander virgos today because it's their season and no one slanders them that often so <3 ABOUT MARK'S VIRGO TEMPER THOUGH... i know i've said i enjoy seeing it sm but whenever i think abt it i cant help but say that.. I Love His Temper <3 he doesn't get pissed off in a scary and douchebag-y way it seems so... contained?? IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT he punched an a/c though so that might not be the perfect word to describe him lmaoo <3

THE J TRINITY HFDJFJDJHDF BESTIE UR MIND IS SO!!!!!!!!!!! honestly... maybe it's the acts of service for me <3 JKDFKJFDKJFJKD i think this is just my eldest sister and savior syndrome speaking though kfjkdkjf ALSO OH MY GOD THE WAY U NOTICE THESE THINGS <3 THAT'S SO SEXIE OF U!!! and yes he used to be an infj!! there was an interview that's more recent wherein he mentioned that he's now an enfj though but i cant rmb which interview it's from :/ ALSO MOOD FKJJKGJGKF i dont believe in mbtis too but im just... a little obsessed w it for the fun of it all <3 and the way u described them </3 what if i tear up a little </3 I LOVE CHAN'S LAUGH SO MUCH BUT IM SO SOS O GLAD U BROUGHT UP YUGYEOM'S LAUGH??????????? IT'S NOT TALKED ABT ENOUGH LIKE...... HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! one of my bird moots said he sounded like a schoolboy in choir 😭😭😭😭😭😭

GOD UR TASTE!!!!!!! what if i start falling in l*ve a little :/ what then :/ focus on me was ahead of it's time and people fucking slept on THEM i cannot fucking believe this. this has to be some kind of sick joke 😭 ALSO HAVE U SEEN THE CHOREO FOR SENSES!!!!!!1 INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!! holy fuck!!!!!! sorry for the expletives but like.... holy SHIT they did THAT!!!!!!!! ALSO UR SO RIGHT </3 jjp verse 3 when... ALSO did u know i let go of the jjprojects url... thats the worst mistake of my life KDKJDSKJDSJK also agree wholeheartedly <3 i think they're all trying to find their footing this time around as soloists and im so proud of them for that!! i'll stand by my jus2 agenda though bc they're almost in the same company so maybe.. i might have hope left 😭

SO TRUE BESTIE!!! the same principle goes w svt for me as well <3 got7's such a flavorful group musically like... all of them have the capacity to go solo and they're still considered flops.. waht the fuck <3 ALSO OMG FJDKJFKFJD YOU'VE HEARD The Song!!!!!!!! maybe he'll be releasing something along those lines <3 esp now that he's supposedly coming w an album KJSJKDJSK on a similar note.. do u also listen to jamie (the other artist on the song) <3 NOO SHUT UP THIS CANNOT BE FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i was obsessed w on the rocks too 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT WAS MY FAVORITE ON THE MIRRORS ALBUM HELLO??????????????????????????? im proposing to u rn

ok now i have to watch all the live vids again JKDSJKSJDKDSKJ ik keep saying 'ur so right', 'i agree', and 'so true bestie' but im gonna have to say this again bc i LOVE LOVE LOVE live sessions sm no matter the artist. i also just am a little partial to live bands in performances like that in general so JDJKKDSJDS

the way you're saying these cute things abt the svteenies.. </3 giving me heartache!!! i'd bully them though i can't coddle them anymore <3

not the fandom JKFDKJFDKJFDKJFKJF ok but i think it's mostly their younger fans tbh. it wasn't this bad before.. i also really liked bts during their debut days. their songs were really good!! i kind of lost interest though and couldn't really get into them although their songs slapped lol. my irls are still into them though so i still hear about them. 9 YEARS............................... wait oh my god it HAS BEEN a little over a decade since 1d was The Thing huh 😭 now i feel kinda old lmao. and i totally get that feeling </3 it really do be like that sometimes JKFDJKJKFD

you really ARE keeping up w the sevens oh my god how are you doing it!!!!!!!!!!! it's like getting svt content now at this point but more complicated bc u need to get the updates from different sources JDKJSDKJJSKD love ur song choices too <3

ALSO FULLY RELATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i saw bam's teasers... the aes was my cup of tea and THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't fucking get it out of my mind it's objectively one of the best things i've seen from kpop in 2021. i'm super impressed <3 love how abyss really supported bambam on this. they really went all in for him!!

I KNOW GKJDFJDK I GOT SUPER ???????/// DURING THE TIME EVERYONE THOUGHT THEY WERE DISBANDING LMAOOOO they pulled a move that's so unheard of though no one really expected That. i respect jaebeom so much for handling all the paperwork and shit behind the scenes it must've been HELL!! ALSO IT MEANT I CRIED FOR NOTHING THEN 😭😭😭 AND YES OH MY GOD IT'S THE SAME BIBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SHOCK I HAD WHEN I SAW THE LIST????????????????????????? thought i was gonna black out like,,, mark,,, AND BIBI??????????????? she's fucking phenomenal how is she just a YEAR older than me.. INSANE!!! ... and i also thought jackson was gonna have an ost for this movie.. idk why it wasn't released though i didnt look into it :/

i had a rough few days so i'm not yet finished with the playlist (my laptop's Dead i am still trying to revive her and uni's starting soon 😭) but for the mean time, here's another one that some people from caratblr previously asked for JDSJKSDJ these are mostly english songs though its not my k-playlist KJDSKJSDJK

i do hope this week gets better!!! and i hope that you'll have a fun one too <3 thank u for being so patient w me 🥺 i just get so many messages and find the need to recharge FDKJDFJK

ALSO I FELT LIKE IT WAS U!!!!!! OH MY GOD, i even searched my blog for the word manifest but for some reason your ask didn't come up in the search so i didnt mention u in the tags so i wont misattribute if it ends up not being u 😭 thank u for manifesting this chan for me he's my little... hop hop now ig... 😭

#lov u u genuinely make my days better!! <#*<3 #also the way u called me by name... passing out rn </3 #🪂 anon #anon #y.ask #long post

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kayliemusing · 3 years

Text

1: Name - Kaylie

2: Age - 23

3: 3 Fears - Spiders, failure, loss

4: 3 things I love - Reading, writing, Taylor Swift

5: 4 turns on - Kindness, nice hands, humor, someone who has a really warm heart.

6: 4 turns off - Arrogance, moustaches lmao, narcissism, basket ball shorts *shudders*

7: My best friend - Her name is Megan (but also my mom lmao)

8: Sexual orientation - Heterosexual

9: My best first date - I have never been on a date.

10: How tall am I - 5'2

11: What do I miss - My childhood mostly

12: What time were I born - 2:45 pm

13: Favorite color - Red, but sometimes a nice summery, pastel yellow

14: Do I have a crush - no

15: Favorite quote - I have so many that I can't say my utmost favourite, but one that I always think about is from Richard Siken "He was pointing at the moon but I was looking at his hand." I'm not even sure how this is supposed to be interpreted, but I just love the detail of this. Of someone looking at the moon and pointing at it, but you're looking at their hand because you're that consumed by them and also they're like your moon. anyway-

16: Favorite place - My house lol

17: Favorite food - Cheesecake

18: Do I use sarcasm - Yes, but very dryly

19: What am I listening to right now - Nothing actually. I'm just sitting in the quiet.

20: First thing I notice in new person - I used to think it was physical, like eyes or their smile, but I think it's actually their demeanor. i.e., confidence, if they're laid back, talkative or quiet, etc. Or even just how they handle things. Like when I'm at work and I meet a new co-worker I'm always noticing how they are with people.

21: Shoe size - 6.5 US but I can manage a 7 US too.

22: Eye color - Grey

23: Hair color - Ashy blonde, but I usually get it highlighted to be a brighter blonde

24: Favorite style of clothing - I'm super into the French girl vibe right now (elegany, classy, ribbed sweaters tucked into high waisted jeans or dress pants, a blazer thrown over and a nice gold necklace) but I'm also really into a summery boho look (flowy maxi dresses and skirts)

25: Ever done a prank call? No

27: Meaning behind my URL - On this account, it's just my name and then 'muses' because this account is just me talking to myself tbh. My main account is called autumnsletters which is just a combo of my fav things: autumn and handwritten love letters, and finally, my embarrassing taylor swift account is called sixteenavenue which is a lyric from her song I Think He Knows where she mentions her heart skipping down sixteenth avenue.

28: Favorite movie - I feel like i don't have one answer bc I always have a different answer to this question lmao. I think it's called A Christmas Carol (the 2009 version w/ Jim Carrey). It just makes me feel cozy and warm inside. Also: Clueless.

29: Favorite song - All Too Well by Taylor Swift I think.

30: Favorite band - Of Monsters and Men

31: How I feel right now - I actually feel really happy today, which is a change lol. I had an awful week last week, but over the last couple of days I've just felt more creative and happier.

32: Someone I love - My mom

33: My current relationship status - Single

34: My relationship with my parents - Excellent.

35: Favorite holiday - Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have -0 :'(

37: Tattoos and piercing i want - I want to get my ears pierced again bc the holes grew over. Low key want a nose piericing and low key want a tattoo on my collarbone (or somewhere around there)

38: The reason I joined Tumblr - Because everyone else had it and I felt left out LOL

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - I don't have an ex

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - No

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - No i've never been kissed rip

42: When did I last hold hands? - never but it's ok bc i can hold my own hand

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - Depending on what I'm doing. If I showered the night before and I'm just doing a very low-maintenance look, roughly 15-20 mins. On a normal day in which I shower in the morning and am trying to actually be presentable, roughly an hour.

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? - Have YOU shaved MY legs? No. Have I shaved my own? Yes

45: Where am I right now? - My room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - Most likely I'm not drunk, but IF I WAS, it would be my friend, my mom, or my sister (my sister would probs make fun of me and film me tho tbh)

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - Loud if I'm jamming with nothing else to do but sing along. If I'm trying to do something, I'll turn it down bc I can't focus with loud music (especially if I'm trying to write something/talk to someone/text someone)

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - My mom bc my dads dead

49: Am I excited for anything? - My sister and I are going to Banff in about three weeks so I'm excited for a getaway.

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - No

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - I work in retail so

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - I don't know. I think I hugged my mom at some point this week lol

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - Bye bye babyyyy

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - my cat

55: What is something I disliked about today? - I had to go to work

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - Taylor Alison Swift baby

57: What do I think about most? - Probably Taylor Swift.

58: What’s my strangest talent? - I can make stomach gurgling noises with my mouth closed.

59: Do I have any strange phobias? - Nah, pretty generic ones

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Behind the camera

61: What was the last lie I told? - Some lady asked if a product was good and I said yes so I wouldn't have to help her find another one

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - Neither what the hell

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - Neither

64: Do I believe in magic? - No

65: Do I believe in luck? - No

66: What's the weather like right now? - It's calm, but a little cloudy. It was really warm and sunny earlier, but it's gotten a little grey.

67: What was the last book I've read? - I just finished this series called The Winner's Curse by Marie Rutkoski and it was so good but so stressful omg. Still 5/5 stars.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - Yes

69: Do I have any nicknames? - Not really, but sometimes my coworkers call my Kayls

70: What was the worst injury I've ever had? - Oh my god when I was like 10 I fell during grounders and the bar hit me right on the cooch. Most painful event of my entire life.

71: Do I spend money or save it? - Spend it bitch

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - No

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? - yes!! my blanket!!

74: Favorite animal? - I love hippos and I don't know why.

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - Reading on my phone to avoid sleeping so I could prolong not going to work

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - Devil. Kind of like Satan The Devil is his full name

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - Shake It Off

78: How can you win my heart? - Learning Taylor Swift's entire discography for my sake

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - tbh I really don't know

80: What is my favorite word? - Wonderstruck

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - n/a

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - stream fearless taylor's version

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - no

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - Healing

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - N/A

86: What is my current desktop picture? - it's a misty forest

87: Had sex? - no

88: Bought condoms? - no

89: Gotten pregnant? - no

90: Failed a class? - yes

91: Kissed a boy? - no

92: Kissed a girl? - no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - no but it's a dream

94: Had a job? - I've had two so far

95: Left the house without my wallet? - Yes, sometimes I do it on purpose so I can make my mom pay for something lmao (chill i'm talking something small like candy)

96: Bullied someone on the internet? - no

97: Had sex in public? - no

98: Played on a sports team? - no

99: Smoked weed? - no

100: Did drugs? - no

101: Smoked cigarettes? - no

102: Drank alcohol? - yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - no

104: Been overweight? - I feel overweight, but technically no

105: Been underweight? - No

106: Been to a wedding? - Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - Yes, but not since I was younger. I'm mostly on my phone now.

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - Oh yeah lmao

109: Been outside my home country? - No

110: Gotten my heart broken? - Yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? - No

112: Broken a bone? - No

113: Cut myself? - Yes

114: Been to prom? - Sort of. I'm Canadian so I had grad.

115: Been in airplane? - No

116: Fly by helicopter? - No

117: What concerts have I been to? - Jonas Brothers when I was about 10 lmao and Marianas Trench when I was 15

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - No

119: Learned another language? - Tried to

120: Wore make up? - Yes. I do work at a makeup store.

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - no

122: Had oral sex? - no

123: Dyed my hair? - not a funky color, no

124: Voted in a presidential election? - Sort of; I voted for a prime minister

125: Rode in an ambulance? - Yes

126: Had a surgery? - No

127: Met someone famous? - No

128: Stalked someone on a social network? - No

129: Peed outside? - No

130: Been fishing? - No

131: Helped with charity? - Yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? - No bc I never fessed up to any crush lol

133: Broken a mirror? - No

134: What do I want for birthday? - A jewelry box

#survey

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monotonous-minutia · 4 years

Text

because I think of it altogether too much, some dialogue on the differences in the role of the Muse in Les contes d’Hoffmann, in the play versus in the opera. Enjoy my nerdy, disorganized, former-literature-major ramblings as I spend altogether too much time picking apart the minutia of this issue (but hey, it’s in my URL, so).

In the original play by Michael Carré and Jules Barbier (the same people who wrote the libretto for the opera), the Muse doesn’t double as Niklausse. We get two separate characters–the Muse and Hoffmann’s sidekick, Friédrick.

The play opens with a monologue from the Muse, similar to the one in the opera (some lines are taken verbatim). The monologue in the play, though, isn’t about the Muse being mad at Stella and wanting to win Hoffman’s love. It is in a lot of ways a love letter to the real Hoffmann’s writing, of which Carré was a huge fan (obviously, he wrote a whole play about them). The works of E.T. A. Hoffmann were (and to an extent, still are) hailed as being unique, strange, and otherworldy compared to most of what was seen at the time. The Muse here talks about her stories as if they’re her own, and she happens upon Hoffmann in the tavern (read: when he gets drunk, he gets inspired to write weird stuff). She’s here, then, to introduce this story–the play that we’re watching/reading–as one of her own. She does reappear at the end and makes a statement similar to that made at the conclusion of the opera, that the poet had to suffer to be truly great and now that he’s given up on love she has him to herself–but it’s not that she specifically tried to make this happen, she’s just pleased that it did.

After the Muse’s opening monologue, she tells the audience that the people are coming and she’s going to hide, because they scare her. She puts on a suit and hat similar to that warn by the students that will soon be populating the tavern, so she can blend in with them and not be noticed. I’m guessing this is where the inspiration for the Muse also being Niklausse eventually (partially) comes from.

But we don’t have Niklausse in the play; we get Friédrick. Friédrick is, in my perception, ridiculously adorable. He spends a good portion of the play serving sass. There’s a ton of banter between him and Hoffmann, and some with Friédrick and the side characters as well as they collectively role their eyes at Hoffmann. So, much similarity to Niklausse. A few differences, though: the guys in the tavern love making fun of him, because he’s younger, and Hoffmann is even a little bit meaner to him than their operatic counterparts, and Friédrick is just kind of resigned to it, though he does make fun of Hoffmann at times. Mostly he feels sorry for him and feels the need to take care of him, as he can’t seem to take care of himself.

Friédrick is referred to as Hoffmann’ “shadow,” in that he follows him around everywhere making sure he doesn’t get himself arrested or shanked. He is also referred to by Hoffmann as “the voice of reason” through all his adventures, though of course Friédrick doesn’t remember any of them, since they didn’t actually happen. But he is constantly dragging Hoffmann out of trouble in these stories, which is why Dappertutto tries to off him in the Giulietta act. Dappertutto is annoyed that Friédrick first rescues Hoffmann from Olympia when she goes crazy (which is a big part of the play, and written into the libretto, but rarely ever portrayed on stage for the opera), then saves him from Crespel when Crespel tries to get Hoffmann for (as he perceives) killing Antonia (another bit that’s in the libretto but rarely portrayed onstage) and, finally, is trying to literally drag him away from Giulietta. As with Niklausse, Hoffmann severely under-appreciates Friédrick and all that his friend does for him. But when Dappertutto tries to give him a “sleeping potion” that he says will just make him pass out long enough for Hoffmann to get it on with Giulietta, Hoffmann kind of gets a reality check when he’s like “Wait, okay, but what if he drinks it and then he dies?” Dappertutto insists that no such thing is even remotely possible. I do wonder where Hoffmann’s sudden suspicion and consideration comes from. Like, is he already suspicious of Dappertutto, or is he just concerned because Friédrick is so small a single dose of Nyquil could end him? (Being a lightweight myself, I do wonder.) But we never find out either way, because Giulietta waltzes onstage and downs the poison first and of course Friédrick arrives just in time to save Hoffmann yet again. I just gotta wonder: given Friédrick is not the Muse in this version, why is it that he’s the one who drags Hoffmann out of trouble over and over again in a series of stories that didn’t actually happen? As constantly annoyed as he seems at Friédrick, he’s the one making the choice to have him play that role. And Friédrick is pretty cool with it. I guess they were roommates.

The Muse’s role, then, comes with a different vibe. She doesn’t have any influence over Hoffmann’s love life or seem quite as imminently concerned about it. She’s not following him around in the same way; she kind of just has to wait for him to come around. She’s less assertive and pretty resigned to having to deal with the constant BS but at the same time seems less bothered by it. She’s not totally dependent on him or solely invested in him; she just likes him a lot and enjoys writing stories with him. The operatic Muse is much more definitively attached to Hoffmann and sees his love life as a direct opposition to them. The stakes are higher for them than for the Muse in the play.

The whole Muse/Niklausse dynamic on the opera fascinates me to no end. I can’t even quite put into words the thoughts I have about it. Lately when I think about the question “If you could go back in time and talk to anyone in history who would it be?” I just want to go and talk to Barbier and Carré and ask how they came to the decision to make Niklauuse and the Muse the same character because–is there really anything in literature that’s quite the same as that? We get “a madwoman, come down from the heavens, to fight with a frivolous woman over the love of a fool” (a line from the libretto) who transforms themself into their poet’s best friend, and deals with his BS which is (as I rambled on a bit in an earlier post) borderline emotional abuse in some cases and even in its mildest forms raises the question “Why, sweetie, why do you put up with this.” Well, they can’t not, can they? What’s a Muse supposed to do? They’ve got their poet and have no other purpose in life that to serve as their inspiration. What would they do if Hoffmann did actually choose Stella over them? It’s basically out of the question.

So looking then at the Muse/Friédrick dynamic was an interesting transition. I can start to see some of the pieces but in some ways it also raises more questions. Was Niklausse ever an actual person, like Friédrick? Is the Muse donning the disguise for just that one night, to be witness to the storytelling, as the Muse in the play does? Does the operatic Muse just figure that Hoffmann will be drunk enough to not notice the difference when the real Niklausse comes back later? Or was Niklausse the Muse all along, and the Muse has for years (or however long) personified themself as another student to try and win Hoffmann on his level? Further, is it Hoffmann who comes up with all the little things that Niklausse does that hints to us what his status actually is, showing that Hoffmann is subconsciously aware of the connection all along? Or is it the Muse infiltrating the storytelling as it occurs to insert themself further, trying to get Hoffmann to really see them during the course of the telling?

On one hand I go crazy over the fact that these questions are never answered, and I wonder why the librettists went from the relatively straightforward Muse/Friédrick dynamic to the super meta, almost incomprehensible Muse/Niklausse dynamic. On the other hand, I appreciate the weird genius behind this that makes me think unreasonably hard about the creative process and art in general and also the relationships we have with people in our lives who we depend on in ways such as this. Also, I appreciate how the ambiguity allows different productions of the opera to have so many interpretations of the role (although there are definitely some interpretations that can go to hell as far as I’m concerned).

Also I think a lot about the names. I think Friédrick is just a cute name and I think it suits the original character. And the transition to Niklausse makes sense: a new interpretation of the character warrants a new name–plus Niklausse comes from “Nicholas” which means “victorious people” which makes sense, you know? Niklausse triumphs in the end, so why not have a powerful name like that? If I were a Muse taking on a human form on earth, I’d want something with that kind of power, too.

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kanene-yaaay · 5 years

Text

Patton has a secret ~

Kanene’s note: *read the speech I decide to write here* Hmm...

Caham.

*Throw away the paper* Is just a lot of fluff. Like... just fluff. No drama, no angst, no action, no adventure, maybe fiction, but a lot of fluff. :v

... I should try to write others genres... xDD

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* Lee!Patton and Ler!Roman/Ler!Virgil (Just a itsy bitsy of Lee!Virgil and Lee!Roman).

* Hmmm… This is a Tickle-Fanfic! If you don’t like this kind of stuff, please look for another blog, there are plenty of amazing art in this site!! ‘u’).

* Something around 3500 words. -w-)b.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any advice is very very welcome!

* My first Sanders Sides Tickle Fic finally translated!!! Yayyyyyyy!!! \0\ /0/ \0/ *jazz glitter hands*

* Here the fanfic in Portuguese (brazilian’s one!) ! Thankys for reading, my lollipops! Watch a fun video and drink hot chocolate water! Byeioo!~

[~*~]

In fact, with how times Patton took care of the other three (and sometimes, five) members of the Mental Palace it could almost be seen as a hobby, a piece of his routine even. But he just could not help or stop himself from doing something when he knows to have in his own hands a world of possibilities for lighten up their, rainy or not, days and paint in their faces a smile, even when it was a light embarrassed one. This was a little something that worked as if he was brighten his own days.

And that reason was what it was so… strange to watch them turning the table.

In the days very after the conversation they had, followed by his room visit (think about that still giving bittersweet shivers down his spine), at least one time and for a few minutes in the day, all the spotlights switched to the quartet’s cat lover.

Just as this morning, when he was woken up by a battalion of cuteness and love consisted by fifteen puppies summoned and carefully deposited in his bed by Roman, who doesn’t waited much to yell an order to “ATAAAAAAAAACK!”. Leading an awake from an extremely confused Patton, which was immediately subdued by licks and small barks doesn’t taking long to rip out happy giggles and squeal from the one who wore cardigan.

Or, even like those random moments in the day when no one is around and Virgil feels absolutely comfortable to wrap him up in a calm, filled with more signification which words could archive, hug. That time when Patton controls himself to not squeak (too much) loud, especially on those others pieces of time when the aspect of Fight or Flight eventually ended up changing to canals with Patton’s favorites cartoons, claiming between (fake) annoyed murmurs that “There isn’t anything better on TV.”

And also, there was Logan. Oh, Lo… Maybe never before, except celebrations, had Patton received so many gifts. They went from interesting books to soothing songs playing in his room’s background, expressing all those feelings that so much confused the duo with the same glasses. Morality liked this approach equally. Most of the songs sang that everything would be okay.

In the end, even if all of it were… different, new, Patton couldn’t deny that loved every second of it.

And maybe it was for all these pampering, however he started to feel a bit freer to demonstrate a little more of him, little by little… For that reason (or maybe feeling?) that some days after all the new occurrences he found himself asking Roman to summon him a tablet. Sure, he summoned one by himself, albeit Roman’s conjurations have always been the ones that spilled the most amount and shiny details, creativity, wonderfully, coloring in the Mind Palace.

This was some weeks ago. Some fast, full of giggles and blush weeks since his very newest discovery on internet. May or may not the only one to blame for his full-sleep nights shrank in order to increase his searching time.

“Tickly Community”

Just thinking on these words already unleashed warm waves through all over his face as involuntary as his began of smile and that soft and cozy sensation intertwining his heart.

Tickles, he squirmed quickly, one of the purest and simplest way to show someone trust and affection. A normal activity to improve bonding, which some disliked and others loved.

And Patton knew very well in which group he was.

It was kind of an addiction, or even a fellow, as he preferred to imagine. Making itself present not only when he turned on the electronic device, but in any and every time of the day. It seemed like a little angel with cat ears and cute voice who liked to appear from absolutely nowhere to say how much every activity in the day would be incredibly better just adding a few pokes, squeezes and sweet, uncontrollable laughter here and there.

And don’t even get him started with the movies, cartoons and series, which, unfairly, insisted in dropping one (sometimes more) tickle scene when he was the least prepared as he could be. Patton swore that in these moments he lost all the control on his body: he always felt being ‘too much smiley’ (even when he brain ordered him to stay serious… Well, he always was more a heart guy than mind one, anyway), ‘too much agitated’, looking at the movie ‘too much’ and always ending up in a mental battle, posteriorly, to choose which one was his favorite (spoiler alert: He always picked all and re-watched them.)

His fingers typed the URL he already knew by heart, snuggling further on the couch as the links appeared in his face. The one in cardigan (since his onisie was washing) loved reading stories gravitated around this subject. The descriptions made imaginary fingers dance in each one of his tickle spots… or at least that ones he suppose that were his spots. It had been few years since activities like that didn’t happened with Thomas or in the Mind Palace, so the freckled side didn’t knew if he stilled susceptible as used to be. Uurg. Think about this made him sad, so, the moral side decided focus on the arts in the art ahead.

Maybe hours or minutes have passed. He couldn’t say, however he could confirm that watched something around three absolutely adorable tickle videos and was in his fifth story whe-

- OH PATTON, MY PATTON – The high pinch scream together with the little jump gave by the called as answer seemed to amuse the prince, his stunning smile increasing. – What are you watchin’? – He let himself fall in the furniture’s arm, close from where Patton’s head rested, leading to the other automatically turn off the tablet in a hurry.

- Oh, nothing, nothing. – The group’s father waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. – Just some new cakes recipes! Thomas overbought Crofter’s and I’m not fire, but I want to help burn the stock! – Both giggled.

- You looked very happy. – Virgil couldn’t stop himself from the grin growing in his face, proud when the representation of morality released his second scream in such a short time, seeing as he truly didn’t notice the second which the purple lover laid in the other corner of the couch. His eyes shined as he saw red spreading across Patton’s cheeks.

“The world goes round.”

- W-when d-did you- for a heartbeat of moment he shuffles in his own words, stumbling in the letters and almost losing himself, taking a second to his face stabilized in a smile and the words stopped falling out his mouth. A bothersome sensation showed in the stomach of the other two sides, realizing how much trained and good at controlling his feelings and expressions he was. Maybe they saw a little of themselves in the act. – You know how much I love appreciate this little things. – Smile.

- Ho ho!! – The resounding laughter from the royal side made itself present as he approached even close to Morality, ignoring any and every signification of ‘Personal Space’. – It sees that nuestro padre is hiding something. ~

Maybe it was the Lee Mood attacking, maybe it was for how that specific phrase had sounded immensely with thousands of the dialogues he had read and which still spinning around his mind; It could even be the playful way they were going. However, Patton could only continue giggling and squirming in attempts to dodge from Roman’s efforts to take the device in his hands, being pretty good at it, something that definitely annoyed the Creativity’s aspect, causing him to let out a exasperated snort.

- Any help, Stormcould?

- I thought princes were ‘self-sufficient’. – He made quotes with his fingers, probably a reference to some fight of them.

- Wha… And we are! Even more when people like you force us to do all the work! Come on, you want to see this too! Another hand here would be nice!

- Tch. Can’t. – Virgil clicked his tongue, irony pouring out his lips as he raised his hands. – I only have mine.

The angry expression from the prince comically mixed up with the euphoric Patton’s squeal, who jumped to a sitting position, moving with more facility closer to the one wearing a hoodie.

- Was that a pun?? – His eyes seemed like could bright the starts by the way they were shining. Virgil’s eyes widened, hiding in the hood while mumbled a ‘no’, half-annoyed, half-awkward and half-happy for be the one who put that smile in the other’s face.

- Ah há!! – The victorious expression quickly took place in Roman’s face as he got the tablet. – Great distraction, my gothic subject!

He clicked the ‘Turn on’ button.

- No! Wait!! – His voice possibly raised a little bit than normal, ora little shakier, or even desperate. Patton stretched quickly, seeking to retrieve the object. He didn’t really know how to explain the suddenly panic. He always dreamed in telling this secret to the others, but… Now this possibility was too… real. He was afraid, afraid that they found it weird, didn’t liked it, felt forced in some way or didn’t really understand his liking and interpret it wrong and… In just that millisecond, Patton feared about all of it and something else at the same time.

The duo looked alarmed, and this made he doubt the reason of his fear. They were his adorable kids, his famILY with eccentric likes just as him. His sons who took care of him. He felt silly, but it didn’t change the glares in his direction.

- Roman… - A light threatening started to take strength in Virgil’s tune.

- Sure! Here you go, padre. – With a big flourish, he handed over the tablet. An apologetic smile in his features, a slightly deeper look in his glare. – I hope you to know that I was just messing with you! There is no greater honor than keep safe our secrets! - Winked, getting up, a hand resting in the chest while the other one gestured in a non-stop rhythm. – And, if is a matter of honor you can count on me to give my life into order to protect and safeguard it! – He bowed, holding Patton’s hand and kissing it, instantly dissolving the fear in the said aspect in an excited smile.

- Oh! Let me give back your kiss, then! – The moral side pulled from his pocket a Kisses’ candy bag, tossing it at Roman, who reflexively grabbed.

- Do you… Do you really have those on the pockets just for the dad joke?? – Virgil asked giving the question up as soon he saw Patton rolling his eyes, biting excitedly his tongue’s tip while shrugging.

- … No?

- They are really good! – The prince exclaimed, his voice muffled by the dozens candies he had put in his mouth and now was trying to chew. Patton felt a hand delicately hold his shoulder.

- You know we never would force you to share something you are not comfortable, right?

- Of course I do, kiddo. – The heart’s representation soothed his smile, deflecting his gaze to his lap, where the tablet calmly rested. The way both acted… so sweet and adorable…

He didn’t even knew of what he was afraid at the first place.

- But…no. – His words come out before anything stopped them. – I want to tell.

This automatically caught their attention, interest sparkling on their expressions. Sure that they were the most comprehensible as possible with the paternal aspect, however this didn’t change the flame of curiosity created by the situation in their minds, which was inflamed even more right now. Patton turned on the device.

- It’s a really silly thing… - Virgil lightly squeeze his shoulders in an encouraging way. Roman moved a little more closely and was gifted with the tablet, now unblock, being deposited on his hands. The words floated from Patton’s lips before his brain or fear could do something to stop them. – But I like tickling!

His speech come out fast and low, he raised up his eyes for a second before lowering them at equal speed and started to play with the cardigan’s tip between his fingers. Patton was a person of a lot of expressions and gestures and hops and joy, albeit this time he was just quiet, slightly embarrassed as the blush on his ears could say.

And happy. A relieved happiness for don’t need to hide anything anymore.

- Patton. – The one with glasses looked up, just to find Virgil struggling with a grin until he gave up on the battle, letting it take over his face. Patton lighted up with expectantly, feeling like he had putted a piece of his soul in the two aspects’ hands and asked ‘So…?’ – This is… - He shook almost imperceptibly his head, his voice took a softer tune, his smile gave away to a serious face. – There is no problem in liking this you know that, right? We will not going to judge you. – Virgil bitted a little his lip, the grin coming back. – To be honest this is…

- ADORABLE!! – Patton was thrown on the couch. Roman having jumped in him, his smile was stunning and his eyes twinkling dangerously. – ABSOLUTELY, INCREDIBLY, ADORABLY ADORABLE!

The cats lover just could giggle, ignoring the heat in his face growing up more and more as he spoke a couple of dad jokes. Virgil’s head appeared besides the prince’s shoulder, almost hided by it. He deposited the tablet on the coffee table, a dishonest smile shining as a sign warning dangerous. Patton felt a mix of anxiety and anticipation transforms to little butterflies in his stomach.

- Yes. Extremely cute.

He felt amazing.

- Oh, kiddos, it’s because of your influence! – Refuted. Half smile, half truth.

The dangerous spark in the pair of eyes seemed to sprawl even more as they stared him. Roman experimented to wriggle his fingers on his direction. Patton squirmed, a new wave of small, bouncing laughs escaping from his lips.

- It seems like our padre is full of giggles. ~ - He pretend to attack a couple of times, delighting himself with the squeaks and bubbling snorts that came as answers from the Morality’s representation.

A different squeal came out from Patton’s mouth, making the prince turn around just to see Virgil lightly tracing a finger in the other’s foot. There was a grin in his features. – I ask myself where they come from…

- V-virgihihihihil, deheheheheheahahar! Nahahahaha!

- I also question the same thing, my nebulous friend, BUT, not to worry! I bet the entire fabric is right here! - Patton followed Roman’s hands, which spin in some flourishes before reach his sides, light scratching they and leading another yelp to pour out from the cat lover, who could swear that he would melt with all the teasing.

- Ro, oh Ro! Pleheheheheheheheheheheasehehehehe! Roho, no teahahahahahasing!

- Don’t worry, padre! I shall help you with this awful case of endless cute laugh! – He squeezed his sides just some more times, increasing Patton’s struggling before lift his dancing fingers. - The cure should somewhere around… - He started to move his fingers, quickly spidering up and down in all his ribs. Patton’s hands shouted to hold him, but he easily dodge them, taking the opportunity to give some special attention to the victim’s armpits. – Here!!

And then, when his laugh, real belly laugh, started to fill the air, it was only then when Patton began to realize that this wasn’t a dream. The joyful filled him almost as quickly as Roman scribble his fingers along his sides, raising to his upper ribs and staying there with softs circular motions, appreciating the snorts that interconnected the laughter from the other. Before he got tired and goes down, squeezing and poking every piece of ticklish skin he could research with the shirt raising a few inches from Patton’s fight.

- RO-ROHOHOH! NAHAhahaHAHA! P-pleAHAHAHAHAhahahaseHEHEHEheeee!!

-Oh, my my! It seems like someone can’t even form phrases without being an adorable mess of giggles and squeals!

Meanwhile, Virgil calmly danced his fingertips through the foot of the one in cardigan, tracing illogic standards, scratching his arc, suddenly increasing the speed (and, consequently, the laugh, yelps and snort stream from the moral side) as found the toes. It looks that don’t be visible to Patton’s eyes just made him incredible more ticklish.

- VIR-HIHIHIHIHIGIL!! nahahaHAHAHAHAHA THEre!! Virhihihihihgil – The purple one thought he couldn’t like even more of his name until hear that variation. His heart was melting with all the adorableness. Why didn’t they discovered that before?

- Yes, Patton? Can you repeat? I couldn’t understand with all your laugh!

- Who is the cutest and ticklish side in the Mind Palace? – Roman switched to his tummy, poking and scrabbling, fingers paying attention in every minimum inch achievable and analyzing which one gave the best reactions. Patton struggled, the belly laughter shaking his entire body as getting out. His arms hugged his sides in an attempt to not to stop the tickles. His face burned and the happiness were assuming shape of tears as they accumulated in his eyes’ corner, his smile seemed truly goes to an ear from another, lighting up the entire room. – You know who are, huh, my dear and adorable Patton? – Each world was a scribble in his navel.

- YOHOHOHOHOHOHOU TWOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! NHAHAHAHA!

- Wrong answer. ~ - Virgil refuted, and almost synchronized both attackers started to blow raspberries in his foot and belly. His laughter went silent for a moment.

- RO! VI! NAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! ITHIHIHIHIHIHIHIS ME! MEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE! PleAHAHAHAHASEHEHE! NAHAHAhahhahahaha!

- I feel like he want to tell us something. – The representation of fear calmly commented as his fingers taking turns between squeeze knees and tights wasn’t leading the Morality to squeal, crackle, yelp and giggle almost at the same time, in a madness which the three loved. – But I just can’t get it, you know?

Patton thought he really, really know, the mean of ‘unbearable’, until Roman went, this time for real, to his armpits and Virgil reallocated himself to rest his thumbs on his waist.

And they attacked.

- NononononoNO! WahahahAHAHAHAHAHAIT!

He didn’t remembered if he screamed, or talked or even had some coherence. Suddenly all his muscles began to struggle and his laughter were faster, real and stronger than ever, among them also came shrieks, snorts and squeals until completely disappear. His thoughts were a mess. His eyes opened from time to time to take glimpses of Roman and Virgil’s affectionate smiles towards him. Tears flowed down his cheeks as joy materialized, a stunning joy, that one which made his head go side to side, up and down and a smile bigger than the Sun open in his face.

- STO-STOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOHOHOHOHO-

They got the message, since in any moment before the father aspect got even closer to ask them to cease the attack, and quickly moved away. However, the duo could not stop themselves to appreciate the puddle of reminiscent giggles who was Patton, who now melted in the couch, letting the last laughter end. Wiped the tears and stared Roman and Virgil with the gratitude and happiness so easily to read in his face that made both aspects blush with the intensity, leading the purple lover hide in his hood and the prince smile more.

The moral side jumped, crushing them in a tight, sincere, and kind of clumsy hug due all them be sitting and with many words between the lines.

- Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!– His words comes out as fast as a machine gun, how he had breath for it even after all the tickling, no one really knew.

- You’re welcome, Padre! – Creativity’s representation lightly poked his sides, making him jump. – But be aware that your actions awaked up two insatiable tickle monsters!

Virgil just rolled his eyes. Patton released a fast giggle as answer, and for some reason, the purple felt all his ‘Fight or Flight’ instincts be activated. He squirmed a little in the hug, but the grip didn’t ease. The Morality’s voice came out a bit lower than the normal, but equally comprehensible.

- Oh, no, Roman… - It was like a purr from a feline before the attack. – You were the ones who did.

Logan left his room, having had a very satisfactory reading morning. Automatically screams and laughter entered in his ear field, his eyes lightly widened and he followed the sound, going to the Living Room just to find Roman and Virgil on the floor, Patton between them, his hands tickling both without mercy, leading the melodious sound (he had to admit) which were flying from their lips.

- Who are the two sides with shining and wonderful laughter who the tickle monster love to tickle tickle tickle tickle? – His tune was as a father talking with two babies. – They are you! Yesh yesh! Are you you you!

Logan pondered the situation. Patton was a reasonable person who loved everyone, so he more than possible would stop when realize they have had enough. Not to mention that he didn’t wanted take the risk to being pulled into the game or embarrassing the participants. Especially the one with hoodie, who still gradually getting used with the affection of the famILY and the prince, who sometimes let himself think that he needed to show himself the stronger and flawless figure that the ‘royalty must be’.

Realizing no real danger in the activity that his eyes analyzed, the logic aspect just stay long enough to decorate Virgil and Roman’s ticklish spots, since these could be a really future useful data, before backing to his room, suddenly remembering that there was another book on his shelf waiting for him.

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peachymhaechan · 4 years

Text

“Are you sure this is legal?”

Genre: fluff, a tad bit of angst, you already know the fuckin vibes; best friends to lovers! au

Warnings: swearing, breaking into a closed pool i guess ??? honestly p tame compared to what i normally write

Pairing: na jaemin x female reader

Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1OT332LXdqZmRE28NxPRzg?si=OGJL7n3KQYmcpfCwVFhRQw

A/N: i hope the ending doesn’t translate to me not knowing how to end this too badly lol,,, also- not to be political or anything but,, here are some petitions to sign if you haven’t already :) https://blacklives.help/?url=https://blacklives.help&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9b_4BRCMARIsADMUIyqCSaXuMx89tawp4m0X8HiGhh8gGI_jWIO-aWY72f8TKaLdF0GHh3YaAmnAEALw_wcB#petitions

Being friends with Jaemin was always an adventure. Having met him in preschool and growing up down the street from him, you had plenty of memories from early childhood all the way to adulthood. You experienced just about every big milestone moment together- losing your first baby tooth, entering middle school, being heartbroken for the first time, getting your license, even opening your college acceptance letters to your dream college together. From the moment you two met, you were both attached to the hip and inseparable ever since. Luckily, you both had the same dream college and both were accepted, so not even post-secondary education could get you two away from one another.

The summer before college, however, life seemed to change.

You and Jaemin had been through so much together, and you both had felt like nothing would change that. There had been many late night talks discussing your future plans; you’d find your significant others, get married (with each other as the best woman and man of honor, of course), have kids, and have your kids be best friends. Simple as that, no other way of thinking about it.

It was a few days after graduation, and you went over to Jaemin’s house in the evening, already expecting to walk into his house and find a living room full of teenage boys playing video games since Jaemin didn’t respond to any of your texts. Kicking off your shoes and throwing on a pair of slippers by the door, you found your suspicions to be correct. Jaemin, Jeno, Renjun, and Haechan all lounged around Jaemin’s living room, completely focused on the television screen broadcasting their game of Call of Duty. They all spoke amongst one another, switching between discussing the game at hand and other matters- specifically, Jaemin’s love life.

Or, you should say non existent love life, as Haechan so lovingly reminded him.

“Jaemin, are you ever going to ask Y/N out? Or are you going to keep leading on that girl you took to prom. Crap, what’s her name? Isn’t it like Kim or something? Ah, fuck, Jeno, why’d you shoot me?” Haechan whined out, stopping you on the spot. I’m sorry, fucking pardon? you thought, not sure if you heard correctly.

“Dude, I’ve thought about it and I just- I don’t know. I wanted to take her to prom and ask her out afterwards, but then Y/N was asked by Mark and… the timing was never right, and it never feels like it ever is right. I’m just going to push it off until college, I think,” Jaemin mumbled, fingers aggressively jabbing at the controller in his hands. At his words, your mind went blank and your body started running on autopilot. Jaem liked you? Like, like-liked you? No way. No fucking way.

“Jaemin, you gotta ask her out, dude. You let Mark swoop in for a bit, and you’re lucky she ended it before it went anywhere. Are you going to let the same thing happen in college? What if she doesn’t cut the guy off before things get serious, and you never get it off your chest?” Jeno asked, raising a few solid points. You hated to admit it, but he made sense. It was still weird to hear out loud, though. You had never thought of Mark as ‘stealing you’ from Jaemin, and truth be told you did enjoy all the times you had with Mark, but you didn’t want to get into something serious when he was about to leave for a college that was all the way across the country. Long distance relationships work all the time, but you didn’t want your first serious relationship to be long distance. As always, Jaemin was there to cheer you up after your first heartbreak, lending you his shoulder to cry on. And ever the gentleman, he didn’t even complain when you got snot all over his shirt from crying so much.

But hearing all those things made you wonder why Jaemin was there for you to cry on; in the past you had wondered how Jaemin was always such a steady and strong person in your life, but now you were doubting how and why.

A couple more seconds of silence passed, and then Jaemin’s mom noticed you before Jaemin and the rest of the boys did, and she yelled, “Jaem, Y/N’s here!” to which she received no response.

Sighing, you strolled over to where Jaemin was sitting and stood in front of him, trying to get his attention, but to no avail, as he simply just stood up and looked at the TV screen over you.

“Jaem, you’re lucky your mom is in the other room, otherwise I’d be cussing you out right now,” you told him, putting your hands on your hips and scowling at the boy. The previous conversation ran through your head, and it took everything in you to force those thoughts back and just act like everything was normal. Unbeknownst to you, Jaemin and the rest of the guys were secretly shaking in their boots and wondering how much of their conversation you overheard.

He stuck his tongue out at you in response, saying, “We’ll be done in just a minute.” Sighing, you flopped down into his spot on the couch, further incentivizing him to finish up his game and pay attention to you. To annoy you, of course, he sat down on you.

“Jaem, what the hell,” you yelled, voice muffled from his back being right on you. The rest of the guys were too focused on the game to even notice the antics going on between you and Jaemin. Slapping his back, you tried to get him off you but in retaliation he bounced back on you, making the situation even worse. Thank God they finished that round shortly after and he got off you.

“You suck,” you said, pushing Jaemin off and making him fall on the floor. He looked up at you from the ground and pouted, sticking his bottom lip out so he looked like a baby. All the guys stood up, setting their controllers down and stretching. “You lowkey deserved that, Jaemin,” Renjun announced, arms raised over his head in a stretch. Jaemin suddenly got a smirk on his face, and you could practically see the gears turning in his head, making your eyes widen in fear.

“Na Jaemin, don’t you dare-”

The next thing you knew, you were being pulled onto the floor by your legs, a scream leaving your throat but quickly dissolving into a laugh. How you didn’t see that coming you didn’t know.

“Ew, gross-”

“They’re doing couple shit again-”

“I just threw up in my mouth-”

Rolling your eyes at the comments of the guys, you pulled yourself up off the ground and pursed your lips in annoyance. “What are you guys, twelve?” you rebutted, not tolerating their childish behavior.

“I will have you know, I just turned thirteen!” Haechan quipped back, making everyone snicker a bit. “Yeah, you sure as hell act like it, too,” you replied, making him scoff. “Anyways, I’m bored. Entertain me,” you announced, dramatically sighing and flailing your arms around.

“Dude, summer just started. How are you bored already?” Renjun asked you, skeptical as to how you could be so bored in such a short amount of time. “Uh, hello? You guys are basically my only friends, and nobody has answered their phones all day. Yeah, I’m bored, give me something to do, talk to me, ask me to hang out, whatever,” you explained, slightly guilt tripping them. You were only partially lying when you said they were your only friends. You had other people, too, like Chenle and Jisung and Mark and a few others, but they weren’t as close as you were with Renjun, Haechan, Jeno, and Jaemin. Well, Jaemin, specifically. You were certain that if you needed an organ transplant or something, Jaemin would be at the hospital in a matter of minutes and ready to donate. The same couldn’t be said about the others, but you get my point.

“Okay, fine, let’s order a pizza or something and have a movie night in my backyard. Sound good?” Jaemin suggested, appeasing the group. Naturally, at the mention of pizza, all the boys got excited and aggressively nodded their heads, signalling they were in. Jaemin’s parents bought a large projector for the backyard a few years ago so that whenever he had friends over they could all hangout in the backyard and not disturb the adults inside the house. Smart thinking for them, plus all of Jaemin’s friends had fun with it, so it was a win-win situation.

You guys all got to work setting up the projector and blankets on the ground in the backyard, trying to hustle so it would all be done before sunset. Luckily you guys succeeded, and Jaemin came back outside with a few pizza pies, the swarm of teenage boys surrounding the pizza before you could even think to get any. Over the years you had learned that if you wanted food, you had to act quick, otherwise all the guys would eat it all without any remorse. So, like always, you jumped into the mayhem and managed to get away with a few slices. Content, you retreated to one of the blankets and sat down, happily chewing away at a piece of pizza, listening to the guys all chatter in the background. Faintly, you heard Haechan and Renjun bickering over something trivial like always, while Jeno and Jaemin stood by and mediated the whole thing.

“Pepperoni is totally a saturated fat, dumbass!”

“Nuh uh, saturated fats are liquids at room temperature, wise one! Unsaturated fats are fats like pepperoni and other meats, like, I don’t know, salami!”

“Actually, according to Google-”

Someone sitting down next to you pulled you out of your stupor, and you found yourself being surprised by Jaemin sitting next to you. He flashed you a grin, knowing that you secretly enjoyed listening to those two fight like an old married couple as much as he did, though he’d never admit it, either.

“I’m sorry none of us responded to your texts today,” he said, finishing the last of his pizza and wiping his hands on a napkin. You shrugged, not sure how to properly articulate your true feelings.

“It’s okay, it just sucks feeling like I’m the only one left out, ya know? And I want to hang out with you guys as much as I possibly can before college. I know that we’re going to school together and will see each other regularly- and if we don’t then I will hunt you down and force you to hang out with me, by the way- but that’s not the case for the other guys, and I want to make the most of this last summer. This is the last summer that we can still be kids and have fun and not have to worry about how much debt we’re in or how much our student loans are. Let’s live a little while we can.”

Jaemin narrowed his eyes at you, abruptly laid down on the blanket and stared up at the sky, and then quickly shot back up to a sitting position. For once in your life, you couldn’t read the expression on his face, concerning you a tad bit.

“You’re right,” he told you, standing up and going to his phone to pick a movie for the projector. “You’re right, I hadn’t thought of it that way, to be honest. We should be having fun, though, while we can, because it’s not like the past however many years we’ve known the rest of the guys where they’ll be a five minute walk away. Let’s do some dumb shit this summer while we can still get away with it,” Jaemin said, swiping through Netflix before eventually stopping on the Bee Movie.

“I mean, I agree with you for the most part, and I’ll do whatever. As long as it isn’t illegal, that is. Your parents would kill you if you got caught and so would mine. They’d tag team it and kill us both, Jaem,” you said, not sure what exactly he had in mind when he said dumb shit. Jaemin, however, and your group of friends in general, seemed to be experts on dumb shit so you couldn’t even imagine what he had up his sleeve.

He turned to look at you with a sly grin on his face and said, “I guess we better hope we don’t get caught, then.” On that note, he came and sat back down next to you again, tugging you down to lay on the blanket next to him. You chuckled at how clingy he was, pinching his cheeks and cooing at him to annoy him. It didn’t work, though, because the next thing you knew, Jaemin was trapping you in his arms and pulling you to his chest, where he cooed down at you and pinched your cheeks. That seemed to catch the attention of the other boys, because they all shut up their argument about saturated vs. unsaturated fats and turned their eyes onto you two. The three of them got shit eating grins on their faces and one of them discreetly took out his phone, taking a video of you two without you guys even noticing.

From that point, the three of them silently made a pact to do whatever they could within their power to finally get Jaemin to confess to you. So, after a series of aggressive head nods in different directions, they decided to quietly tiptoe back to the house and leave you two outside alone.

And, the sad part is, you and Jaemin didn’t even notice that the guys were no longer there until about thirty minutes into the movie. “Ya like jazz?” Jaem quoted with the movie, then noticed that you were the only one laughing. “Wait, where’d everyone else go?” he asked, looking around and finding absolutely nobody else in the yard with you two.

“When did everyone else go?”

“No clue,” Jaemin responded, shrugging his shoulders and staring at you. He narrowed his eyes, pursed his lips in thought, and stared at you.

“Jaem, you’re giving me major creeper vibes right now,” you told him, making him laugh. Standing up, he reached his hand down for you to grab so he could pull you up. Sliding your palm in his, he gave you a huge smile and pulled you up, immediately jumping up and down. Giggling, you asked him, “What are you thinking about up in there?” and gently knocked on the side of his head.

“I’m thinking that we should do something fun, go live a little,” he explained, grabbing his phone and your hand in his then pulling you into his house. His mom was in the living room, watching Jeopardy and drinking tea, fully invested in the show.

“Mom, where did everyone go?” he asked, leaning against the wall and looking at the TV. “Oh, Jeno said he had to go feed his cats and the others said they needed to help him. Didn’t know it took three people to feed two cats, but you learn something new every day, I suppose,” she informed you two, a glint in her eye that said she knew more than what she was letting on, but you and Jaemin decided to just let it be.

“Ah, okay. Well, anyways, we're going to go on a drive,” Jaemin told her, surprising you. Somehow you managed to keep your face under control and not display how shocked you were. Living in such a small town, it wasn’t unheard of for teens to go on drives to the local Walmart or the shitty gas station chain for entertainment, but usually you were aware of the plan before it happened. Not when Jaemin was telling his mom he was taking the car.

“Okay, honey. Stay safe, make good decisions, don’t drink and drive, wrap it before you ta-”

“MOM, WHAT THE HELL?!”

You had to agree with Jaemin on that one.

“I’m just saying! Have fun!” she exclaimed, laughing lightly at his outburst and your disgusted face.

“Bye Mom, love you,” Jaemin said, slipping on a pair of slides and grabbing the car keys from the dining room table. “Bye, Mrs. Na,” you told her, waving before you left the house.

“So what’s the plan?” you asked, hopping into the passenger seat and picking a playlist from Jaemin’s phone. A while ago, you had made a playlist full of songs that reminded you of how hanging out with Jaemin made you feel, and after hearing it once, Jaemin fell in love with it. So, anytime you two were going on a drive somewhere or even just having a dance party in your room, that playlist would be the go to.

“We,” he said, grabbing your headrest to see the driveway and road behind him, “are going swimming.” Naturally, you were confused for quite a few reasons. One: it was almost eleven o’clock at night. Two: none of the other boys or you had a pool. Three: you were wearing jean shorts.

“Um,” was all you could say, too many things running through your head to properly articulate them, but the one big one was simply ‘What?’

Reaching out, he turned the music up and started dancing a bit in his seat, making you relax a tiny bit. Jaemin seemed so carefree, you figured that you had trusted him enough thus far in your life, might as well trust him on this one, too.

“HANDS ON THE WHEEL, JAEM!” you yelled when he grabbed your wrists to make you dance. He laughed and put his hands back on the steering wheel, navigating the streets so that you were on track for the community pool. You looked over at him, turning in your seat to face him, and sat there in awe. It looked like something out of a movie, really; the street lights illuminating the highs of his face, the bright smile spanning his entire face, wind blowing his hair around. In that moment, you could feel your heart skip a beat and your throat get tight. There were so many things that you wanted to say to him, like how you knew he was your best friend but your feelings were suddenly very much so not best friend-like, or how you don’t know why your palms start sweating when he smiles at you, or how the casual hand holding he always did with you had you weak in the knees. You weren’t sure exactly when all those thoughts started popping into your brain, but the couple months prior made it increasingly difficult to be best friends with him. Normal best friends don’t think about kissing each other, but there you were, wondering how his lips felt.

“Enjoying the view?” Jaemin teased, noticing your gaze on him and blushing. “Eh, it’s not too bad, if I’m being honest,” you teased back, a smirk on your face. You wondered why he was blushing so much, but you chalked it up to the humidity despite it cooling down. “Well, you should take a picture of it so you can remember it forever.”

The statement made you scoff, and you hoped it came off as an exasperated, you’re so full of yourself kind of scoff, but in reality it was a much different scoff. It was truly an exasperated, how could you even think I’d forget something as big as this? kind of scoff.

“You’re ridiculous sometimes, Na Jaemin,” you stated, leaning back against the car door to fully gaze at Jaemin as he drove. He had one hand on the wheel and the other resting on the middle console, completely at ease while driving you to the pool. His lips were curved up, obviously pleased with the situation at hand.

“Yet you keep coming back to me, Y/L/N Y/N,” he shot back, trapping you in a corner. Clicking your tongue, you shook your head in mock disappointment.

“That I do. Not entirely sure, why, I should probably start working on that,” you mumbled, feigning disinterest. Right as you said that, Jaemin pulled into the parking lot of the closed community pool, the street lights illuminating the lot and providing you light to see.

“Am I supposed to swim in my jean shorts?” you asked, pointing down to your legs. You doubted Jaemin’s parents would have been thrilled with the idea of you sitting in his car on his leather seats with wet jeans on. Yes, the car might have been his, but his parents contributed a hell of a lot of money to buy it, as well as the general upkeep occasionally, and upkeep definitely covered wet jeans on leather seats.

“Do you even have towels with you?” you asked, Jaemin turning the car off and getting out to go to the trunk. He pulled out a duffel bag with gym clothes in it, sorting through it before taking out two towels and a pair of shorts.

“Here,” he said, holding out the pair of shorts to you. “There’s a drawstring in the waistband, so you’ll be fine.” You took the shorts from him, holding them up to your waist to try and get an idea on how large they’d be on you. The answer was very, as they went down to your shins. The sight made Jaemin lightly laugh, giggling at the fact that those shorts were on the brink of swallowing you whole.

“This should be interesting,” you mumbled, trying to calm the blush taking over your cheeks. It was hard to not blush whenever Jaemin laughed like that, the mere sound of his voice enough to drive you crazy.

“I think so,” he hummed in agreement, a giddy gleam in his eyes. Jaemin was genuinely excited, and as were you. However, you couldn’t help the ball of nerves in the pit of your stomach from forming at the thought of getting in trouble. With a smirk on his face, Jaemin led you over past the entrance and to the side of the pool that was surrounded by a chain link fence. In theory, maybe having a chain link fence was not the best in regards to security, but the pool always had cameras on the property to prevent breaking and entering.

Jaemin looked around a few times to make sure nobody was around, then tossed his towel up over the fence, and started climbing. Your eyes widened, not sure what to do in that situation. He must have been really confident in everything to be so nonchalant about breaking into the community pool, that was in the middle of the community park, that was regularly patrolled.

“Are you sure this is legal?” you asked Jaemin, eyes frantically flicking between Jaemin easily scaling the fence and the rest of the park, making sure nobody else was around. He looked down at you from the top of the fence, swinging his leg over to the other side and smirking.

“Relax,” he said, using a calming tone and climbing down. “Chenle said that they’re in the process of installing new security cameras, and the park security usually don’t go out for their nightly patrol until one in the morning.” He landed softly on the ground with a light thud, peering through the fence to meet your eyes. There was an impish glint in his eyes, and you knew what you had to do next.

Taking a deep breath, you tossed the shorts and towel over the fence (which landed on Jaemin’s head to your satisfaction), and started to go up. At the top, you looked down at Jaemin, who gave you an encouraging thumbs up, and realized that holy fuck that fence was a lot taller than what you previously perceived. All it took to get you to keep going was one look at Jaemin. A couple seconds later, you had your feet on the ground, hand wrapped around Jaemin’s upper arm to balance yourself.

“Ready?” he asked, the shorts and towels in his hand, a crazed grin on his face. Seeing how excited he was made a small smile work its way onto your face, and you tried and failed to not show it, but he knew. You grabbed the shorts from him and ducked inside the women’s locker room, changing into the shorts as quickly as you could and then walking back outside to find Jaemin sitting on the side of the pool with his feet in the water. He looked oddly peaceful, watching his reflection on the surface of the water. The sight put a smirk on your face, making you cross your arms and lean against the entrance to the locker room. You wanted the moment to last longer than it did, because the second you sighed out in content, Jaemin turned around and noticed you.

His face automatically lit up into a beam, clearly relieved to see you. “I thought you fell into the toilet for a second,” he informed you, standing up and walking over to you. You met him in the middle, gazing up at him. “Haha, very funny,” you counter, rolling your eyes. “I’m pretty sure these could be pants on me,” you pointed out, gesturing to the shorts that went down to nearly your ankles.

As expected, Jaemin started to uncontrollably laugh at the spectacle of you wearing his gym shorts. “You look so stupid,” he wheezed out, legitimately tearing up from laughing so hard. “You’re such a jerk!” you exclaimed, scoffing in disbelief and punching his arm. He rubbed his arm where you hit him, but he did not stop laughing, only pissing you off more.

“You better watch yourself!” he warned, mockingly pointing his finger at you. Tossing your shorts and towel onto a chair, you stuck your tongue out at him, egging him on further. Bad decision, you realized a second too late. Without any warning, he charged towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist. He swung you up onto his shoulder, your legs on the front of his body and fists slamming against his back.

“NA JAEMIN! LET ME DOWN!” you demanded, legs swinging wildly. You figured that with enough thrashing he’d set you down on the ground, but you were oddly mistaken. You could hear the smirk in his voice as he answered, “As you wish.” The next thing you knew, you were tossed into the air and then breaking through the surface of the water, the cooler temperature sending goosebumps up your arms and legs.

Your feet hit the bottom of the pool and you stood up, rubbing the water out of your eyes to glare up at Jaemin, who stood in front of you outside the pool and laughing at you.

“You’re such a jackass!” you exclaimed, only fueling him and convincing him to do what he was thinking of. Aka, cannonballing right in front of you. The water that you just rubbed out of your eyes was splashed back at you, successfully ticking you off. Jaemin popped back up with a grin, shaking his head to get the wet hair out of his eyes.

“Are you happy now that you threw me in?” you asked, lightly splashing at him.

“Very,” he admitted, the smirk not leaving his face.

“Is my misery funny to you?” you fired back, hands landing on your hips.

“Very,” he repeated, smirking even bigger now. Reaching your breaking point, you swam over to him and quickly dunked him under a tiny bit before he could react. He came back up with a significantly smaller smirk, mumbling something along the lines of, “I probably deserved that, to be honest.”

“Uh, you think?” you jabbed, swimming away to the deep end. You floated there on your back, staring up at the sky and smiling at the stars. In that moment, you felt complete peace. In all honesty, your life was pretty nice. Aside from that awkward, not knowing where you two were in a relationship with you and your best friend.

Speaking of him, said best friend came swimming over to you and looked over at you, an unknown gleam in his eyes. He rested his chin on his hands on the side of the pool, looking over at you with admiration. You stopped floating and looked back at him, scanning his face for any signs about what was going on inside his head.

“What are you thinking about?” you asked, genuinely curious about what was going through his mind. You used to be so good at telling what he was thinking about, able to communicate with each other with just a glance. Somewhere in senior year, though, he became a little more… hesitant, to say the least, when it came to sharing his inner thoughts. At first it hurt, but then it made you take a step back and reevaluate things. If you were being one hundred percent transparent, the same day that Mark asked you to prom with a dramatic sign in his shaking hands, a nervous lilt in his voice, was the day you came to terms with your feelings for Jaemin. ‘Will you…. Will you go to prom with me?’ Mark had asked, a bead of sweat dripping down his forehead from being so anxious about confessing his feelings and having them be so on display in front of his peers. You so vividly remember thinking, ‘I am in love with Jaemin,’ but stubbornly saying yes to Mark. It’d be a huge lie to say you didn’t think Mark was a sweetheart, with his boy next door aura and guitar playing and innocent church boy vibes, but he just… didn’t have your heart. Your heart belonged to the boy you grew up with, the boy you hung out with on the playground in elementary school, teased in middle school for his peculiar interests, and who you had so desperately wished would have asked you to prom instead.

“You,” Jaemin simply replied, sending your heart aflutter. He really knew how to mess with your feelings.

Quirking an eyebrow, you kicked off the wall of the pool and swam to the shallow end again, fight or flight kicking in against your will. You weren’t one to run from your problems, per se, but for the past couple of months, you had worked so hard to not let your true feeling show and tarnish your relationship. For fuck sake, you had been best friends since as long as you could remember. Every big event in your life, Jaemin was always there. The last thing you wanted to do was to fuck it all up because of your selfish feelings. (It’s worth pointing out, I think, that those are feelings you couldn’t help.)

“All good things, I hope,” you called out, not having to look over your shoulder to know he was already making his way back to you.

“Very confident of yourself, aren’t you?” Jaemin shot back, a teasing tone lacing his words. You let out a tiny giggle, saying, “Look at me, how can I not be? I am me, after all. You should be grateful I’m even gracing your presence.” He made it too easy, sometimes. But at least he was able to bounce off you, playing with your humor.

“You’re right,” he told you, surprisingly serious. That got you to look over your shoulder at him finally, spinning around to stand in front of him. The expression on your face was essentially one big question mark, not expecting to find him standing there with his heart on his sleeve, completely vulnerable to you.

It was common for Jaemin to be so open with you, but this was a different kind of open…. His expression was something you’d never been shown by him before.

“Are you finally going to tell me what you’re thinking about?” you asked, hands itching to find purchase on his chest, or his arms, or run through his hair. Every nerve in your body yelled out at you to do something, touch him, but you fought it. After all, your relationship could have been destroyed with one touch, one impulse decision, one sentence, three words.

“Are you sure you want me to?” he whispered, peering down at you through his lashes. The lashes that you had always admired, been so jealous of, but somewhere along the way started to wonder what it felt like to feel them on your skin as you two kissed.

“Why not?” you jokingly breathed out, dry humor disguising the gravity of it all. For the longest time, you had been so caught up in covering your true feelings to salvage your relationship that you forgot that Jaemin had the exact same power you did; one sentence and he could destroy the fourteen years of friendship you had.

“I am in love with you,” he gushed, that statement coming out in a rush. He brought his hands to brush some of the hair out of your face, and the tremor gave away how nervous he was, but the strong look in his eyes stood as contradictory. Gazing into his eyes, you finally placed what that unknown gleam he that always had was. It was the same one you had when you looked at him.

“I know that me saying this jeopardizes everything we have, and I’d hate for one sentence to ruin what we have, what we’ve known the entire time we’ve known each other,” he told you, voicing exactly your own concerns. Wow. “But I feel like I can’t go on pretending anymore.” Again, wow. Despite the seriousness of the situation at hand, you couldn’t help the bubble of laughter that left you.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, hands finally placing themselves on his chest. Jaemin looked down at you in confusion, having laid his true feelings out for you to only laugh. “I’m not laughing at you, dear God I’m not, I just…. You put into words everything I’ve been feeling for months now,” you clarified, meeting his gaze, a small smile on your face. “If I’m being honest, as cliche as it sounds, I’ve been fighting the same battle in my mind for months now. I actually only went to prom with Mark to try to get over you, because I was scared to face my feelings for you head on. I didn’t want to ruin what we had,” you admitted, cupping his face in your hands. The blush dusting his cheeks ignited a warmth in your chest, the feeling spreading.

“God, are we stupid,” Jaemin said, his hands resting on your hips and pulling you closer to him.

“I know, we are such dumbasses sometimes. I guess it was meant to be,” you replied, getting the nerve to do what you had dreamed of for the longest time. Standing up on your tiptoes, you connected your lips with his. Even though he tasted like chlorine (and you were sure you did, too), you wouldn’t have changed anything in the slightest.

At that moment, everything was right. The stars aligned, the cosmos was in your favor, everything was as it was supposed to be. You both smiled into the kiss, so incredibly relieved that it was finally happening. Breaking away, you both kept your foreheads together and lightly laughed, eye contact being held still.

“I guess we owe Chenle a thank you,” you said, lacing your fingers through Jaemin’s.

“Yes, we do,” he hummed in agreement. You wished the moment could have lasted forever, but the headlights of a park security guard’s car put an end to the dreamlike moment.

“Fuck,” you two hissed at the same time, jumping into action.

“The thanks can wait until we get out of here without getting in trouble.”

#nct #nct dream #na jaemin #nct imagines #nct dream imagines #jaemin imagines #nct fanfictions #nct 2018 #nct 2018 scenarios #nct 2018 imagines #best friends to lovers

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venomous-soliloquy · 4 years

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Tagged by @saraceaser ♥♥♥

Icon: A piece done by me last year during inktober. Steve Rogers in a blindfold, shirtless (implied completely naked in the full image). With Tony Stark behind him, hand on his shoulder, and the other hand tilting his chin up and resting his thumb teasingly against his lips.

My Content: My art! This is supposed to be an art blog. However, there’s also some reblogs of art tips and writer-related stuff as well, since I also enjoy writing fanfic. Right now, my art is all primarily either Steve, Tony, or stony. C’:

Letter Color: Pale blue. Because it’s pleasing to me and easier on my eyes. Plus I just... really love blue???

URL: I’ve had some variant of this URL all over the internet since 2012. Even changed accounts on other sites to have it. Changed my email to it, etc. As for what it’s about... When I first joined the Marvel Fandom outright (I’d been invested since the first Iron Man movie, but not into the fandom) it was when the first Avengers movie came out. At the time the ship I latched onto was not Stony... But was instead Thorki lmao And I latched onto Loki hard. So, this username is and will always be, in an extremely vague way, related to Loki. It’s essentially about talking to oneself and poisoning your mind with what very well might be untruths. It’s kinda ‘deep’ and slightly edgy, the more I think about it... but I like it all the same.

Header: Another piece done by me last year during inktober. C’: Noticing a theme here? lmao Featuring Steve and Tony, probably on the ground, getting ready to smooch. ;3 Honestly, I chose it because I really love how it turned out, especially with the arc reactor glow. And it’s the perfect orientation for a header.

Blog Title: It’s part of a larger quote by Salvador Dali. The full quote is;

Have no fear of perfection–You’ll never reach it.

As many of my friends over the years can attest. When it comes to my drawing/painting/visual art, I can be a terrible perfectionist. It slows me down and holds me back. It makes me afraid to try new things. So, in a way, it’s a nice little reminder to step back and stop thinking about achieving perfection. It’s impossible to reach and I should enjoy the process more than the endpoint.

Tagging: Err... lemme just pick at random... @sensaxtional @missmoodybear @ramblesrantsmusings @onlymorelove and anyone else who wants to do this C’:

#about the artist #about me #about the blog

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thedeviltohisangel · 5 years

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He’s A God, He’s A Man: 3

If only he would just talk to her.

masterlist is my url/writing

send in your thoughts.xx

Lydia took her time washing the blood from her hands in the kitchen sink. Tommy had locked himself in a room that she assumed acted as his office of sorts. She had rubbed her hands almost raw in the hopes he would show his face again. All she wanted to do was talk to him. She wasn’t looking to pick up exactly where they had left off. If he wanted nothing to do with her, the least he could do would be to say it to her face.

“They’re as clean as they’re gonna get.” Lydia turned to see Polly, brown curls cascading over one shoulder, a black cigarette dangling elegantly from her fingertips.

“Yeah, I suppose I just…” Lydia didn’t know how to explain that she was planning on washing her hands until Tommy showed up again. Polly noticed her eyes linger longingly on the closed doors on the side of the sitting room.

“The ring Tommy used to wear, you’re the girl with the matching one.”

“Yes. I was. I am. I was.” Things were so much more complicated now. And the only person who could help her work through them had locked himself away.

“He thought you were dead.”

“I thought he was dead.” Polly watched her closely as she took a drag from her cigarette. “I guess I should be heading back. If Arthur needs anything, I’m sure someone will know where to find me.” She had to stop back at The Garrison first since Tommy had dragged her away without her purse, gloves and coat.

“Lydia.” The name felt heavy on Tommy’s tongue. He hadn’t said it out loud since the battlefield. Since he had screamed for her as he watched the hospital burn. He found it difficult to look at her now. Tommy had gotten used to the feeling of his world being titled and out of balance. But now, looking at her in his kitchen, it felt like it was put back into its proper place. But now he felt out of balance. Everything had shifted and Tommy hadn’t found his footing yet. “Thank you for helping tonight.”

“You didn’t leave me much of a choice.” She had been shocked by the ferocity of Tommy’s grip on her arm back at The Garrison. She thinks there were a lot of new things about Tommy she needed to learn.

“Forgive me but your presence was quite startling.” He rubbed a cigarette along his bottom lip before tucking it into the corner of his mouth and lighting it.

“And you think I was expecting to see you when I opened that window today?” Polly watched the two spar back and forth with a gleam. Perhaps this wasn’t the doomed love Tommy had led her to believe it was.

“Why else would you be here?” he emphasized with a jab of his cigarette in her direction, “You spend how many years with me thinking you were never even real-”

“That’s rich, Thomas, I know I didn’t receive any letters from you.” He strode over to her quickly until he was so close that the counter top pressed into her back. Polly took the change in the air to be her cue to leave.

“You know I searched through the debris of the hospital like a fucking animal! Looking for scraps of you!”

“I wasn’t in the fucking hospital, Tommy!” She grabbed his face between her hands. He was breathing heavily and his eyes looked wild. Like the animal he had just been comparing himself to. Seeing as Lydia had thought Tommy had perished in that hospital fire, she had never thought about what he had been through since the war. But now her mind was racing with the horrors she had seen other soldiers experience. It pained her to think her Tommy had been through the same. With the guilt of thinking he had lost her added on top of that.

“Then where have you been all this time?” He was breathing easier now. Her touch had calmed him back in France and there was no change in that now. He was angry at her for abandoning him the way she had. For letting him shoulder the pain of her death while he didn’t have to. For taking away his smile.

“In New York. Thinking you were dead. Thinking you had been in the hospital that day.” Tommy stepped away from her and let her hands fall from his face.

“Right,” he breathed in the smoke of his cigarette like it was the only thing he needed to survive, “I’ll have one of my men make sure you get home safe.”

“Tommy-”

“Not tonight, Lydia, not tonight.” He held her gaze as he whispered the words softly. Rage and regret. Some guilt was settling inside of him at all the nasty, overwhelming feelings that had swelled inside of him since The Garrison that morning. There was only so much emotion Tommy Shelby could handle and he had reached his capacity for the night. Besides, it wasn’t as if they could go back to where they had been. He wasn’t that man anymore. Wasn’t the man she had spoken to about her dreams at night. All he was good for now was a nightmare.

----

“It’s hard to imagine that this is a war zone.” Lydia was lying on her back in the grass outside of the field hospital. Tommy was lying next to her. She would have preferred to curl up next to him but the stitches on his ribs had busted earlier.

“What do you think this place looked like before the war?”

“Exactly the same. Something this peaceful, during a time this violent, has to have always been that way.” Tommy hummed at her words. She had dragged him out to look at the stars. Something about fresh air being the most powerful tool for healing falling from her lips. He’d go anywhere she asked him to. The feeling of her hand in his was too addicting to pass up.

“We could get married in a field like this.” Lydia giggled.

“You’re being silly, Thomas.”

“The thought of marrying me is silly to you?” She turned to look at him.

“You’re being serious?”

“Why not? I could use someone like you back in Birmingham.”

“And what, exactly, is even in Birmingham?”

“Me.” And that was enough.

Tommy stared out the window, smoking a cigarette slowly. He wasn’t surprised that his dreams had been about her tonight. She was all he could think about. And now that he knew she was alive and within reach, perhaps she would be all he could ever think about. He knows she expected more out of their reunion than he had given her. He hated that she had to see him as the man he was now. She deserved better. That much he was sure of.

Her hands had been so soft against his face. They had grounded him the way they had before. He wanted to close his eyes and fall into their softness. He wanted them to ease all the pain he had been suffering from since their separation. He wanted to tell her that he may still have it in him to love her. If only she could find it within herself to love a man like him.

----

It was a slow afternoon at the pub, the groups of men scattered about the tables and taking their time with their pints. It was a welcome change of pace for Lydia. She had broken a sweat during the initial wave and was happy to have at least a moment to cool off. It was peaceful until the door opened and in walked Tommy Shelby and his band of Peaky Blinders, as Lydia had learned they called themselves. The group went to their private room but Tommy walked right up to the bar.

“I trust Robert was pleasant company on your walk home last night.”

“Do you always have a cigarette in your mouth?” she questioned as he pulled one out from a tin in his pocket. He offered one to her instead of answering her. “I don’t smoke.” She went back to wiping the bar top.

“I remember you doing so back in France.”

“I was trying to impress you,” she whispered as a flush spread across her cheeks.

“Watching you amputate a man’s leg was impressive enough,” he mused as he held the cigarette between two fingers. A comfortable silence fell between the two. Tommy leaning on the bar and watching her wipe the rag in circular motions. A Blinder called from the snug, asking what he was doing, but he paid him no mind. “What are you doing here, Lydia?” His change in tone is what made her look up. It sounded like the old Tommy. If only for a second.

“You’ll be upset if I tell you.” Lydia had planned on handling Campbell in her own way. Tommy didn’t need to be involved. Besides, he had been quite protective of her in France and she only imagined he was still the same way.

“How could I be upset?” It was as much as he was willing to let on. He was happy she was back in his life. But that wasn’t a word that kept hm in power. Wasn’t a word that would keep her safe.

“The man who did that to your brother. He brought me here.” When it didn’t look as though she was planning on elaborating, Tommy placed his hand on top of hers to stop the process of cleaning.

“What do you mean he brought you here?”

“Said I could be his negotiating tool.” His face hardened until he was looking through her instead of at her. The rage he had grown comfortable harboring within him was beginning to show. “I told him that we hadn’t spoken, that I thought you were-”

“He’s using you as bait.” Inspector Campbell had gone through the trouble of locating Tommy’s long lost love in a bid to win against him. Had chosen the object of his most precious memories, the only things keeping him alive, to toy with him. To put her in harm's way without any regard. This upped the stakes. Any concessions Tommy might have been considering were gone. Replaced was ice in his veins and fire in his soul.

“I’m sorry. I got so caught up when he told me you were alive that I…” she murmured as she shrugged her shoulders sheepishly. The picture of Tommy in his uniform in the file Campbell had given her had made her smitten all over again. She had tucked between the pages of the book she was currently reading.

“Don’t apologize to me. We’ve been through too much for that.” He had been fully prepared and willing to spend the rest of his life with her. He was wary of trusting her the way he once had but the time they had spent together in France, now that was something he couldn’t ignore.

“I’m on your side, Tommy. I promise.” She thinks she might have imagined the smile that flickered across his face and the gentle squeeze of his hand on hers.

----

Lydia heard the footsteps of the Inspector coming up behind her as she admired the marble statue. It was an odd place for him to choose for them to meet. She always thought museums were a place for independent quietness.

“Was it nice to see your long lost soldier again?” He didn’t even bother to try and hide the contempt in his voice. Lydia hated that he was using these old feelings as a weapon against both her and Tommy. But she couldn’t jump ship from Campbell just yet. They had only just been reunited.

“Yes, sir, but I still have a lot to learn about the new Thomas Shelby.”

“What about the pack of scum he runs with? The Peaky Blinders?”

“Nothing. I am working on getting closer.” The Inspector stopped his pacing and walked close enough to whisper into her ear.

“You do so by whatever means necessary.” Her heart leapt into her throat, her nails digging into her palm to keep her from lashing out. Her and Tommy, it had only been one time, their last night in the field under the stars before the fire that separated them. If she ever was forced to barter her memories, that would be the one never up for sale. For Campbell to think she would partake in such an act for less than pure reasons, with Tommy Shelby of all people...she was enraged.

“Of course,” she whispered back. She made sure to hold his gaze without faltering. Now was no time to show weakness.

“That’s one of the reasons why I’ve always argued that women should be allowed in the field. Nothing makes men weak quite like they do.” He assessed her up and down the way Lydia assumed a predator does its prey. She held the shiver at bay that wished to run through her body. After the way Tommy had hardened at the mention of Campbell at the pub, she thinks it would be easy for her to ask him to dispose of the cop. She considered it as he leered at her.

“Good day, Inspector.” She spun on her heel without a second thought and marched right out of the gallery. She had told Tommy earlier that she was on his side. Now, she was going to prove it.

@aveiangdon @odetostep

#tommy shelby #thomas shelby #cillian murphy #peaky blinders #tommy shelby fanfiction #thomas shelby fanfiction #peaky blinders fanfiction

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crystalninjaphoenix · 5 years

Text

Chaos Theory

Part Two

(Here, have Jackie solving puzzles. That’s all this part is.)

The city buses stopped running at eleven each night, which meant when Jackie arrived at a bus stop at 12:32am he wasn’t even going to entertain the idea of taking a ride back to his apartment. Besides, even if they did run this late, he doubted any bus driver would give a ride to the city vigilante, which he was easily identifiable as while wearing this suit.

He sat down on the bench, using the light from the streetlights to see while he tore open the cardboard box. The laptop inside was clunkier than the most recent models, and it didn’t have a brand label on it anywhere. When he pried it open, there was a yellow sticky note on the screen, with a message made from letters cut out from a newspaper: The password is your birthday, year and all. 6 digits.

“Oh great. Psycho knows my birthday, got a real stalker here,” Jackie muttered to himself as he powered up the computer. A hysterical smile twisted his face. “What else does he know? My shoe size? My underwear color?” He let loose a small giggle as he typed his birthday into the slot for the password: 100790.

PASSWORD INCORRECT flashed on the screen. Jackie blinked, then reentered the series of numbers, slower. The same message popped up. Jackie leaned back against the bench. Were there more numbers? No, the note said six. Then it hit him. He typed in 071090. The lock screen disappeared, the desktop loading up. Jackie breathed a sigh of relief. Stupid backwards American dates. Stupid American creep getting him to play this twisted game.

Speaking of that guy, he said the first set of puzzles would be in the files. Jackie went to pull off his glove so he could use the mousepad on the laptop before remembering he already took it off. He shrugged, then gave the screen’s desktop a once-over. Mostly empty, except for a few shortcuts on the desktop, including one for Google Chrome. The background picture was a blank red screen that kind of hurt Jackie’s eyes to look at. The only thing pinned to the taskbar was the file explorer, so Jackie clicked on that.

After exploring the files, he found there was a single zip folder in the Documents named “Set 1.” After unzipping it, he found it contained two files: 1.txt and 1.ogg.

Wait, wasn’t .ogg an audio file? Did he dare risk playing whatever message this...gamemaster left for him while in a public place? Sure, it was midnight and the streets were empty as far as he could see, but you never knew...and then Jackie noticed the pair of white earbuds sitting in the box next to the laptop. He closed his eyes and sighed, then plugged the earbuds in and put them on.

The laptop came with an audio player installed, which he clicked on, uploading the 1.ogg file. He pressed play and—

“Jesus fuck!” Jackie yanked out the earbuds, instinctively leaning back against the wave of distorted sound that had blasted his ears. He hurried to press pause on the sound. “What the shhhhhit was that?” He hissed.

He decided to come back to that later, opening the 1.txt file with notepad. Inside was empty, except for a url: 6368616f737468656f7279.com. Jackie frowned, then opened the Internet browser, copy-pasting the url into the search bar.

The webpage that popped up was blank white except for a single line of text: Enter Password with a space to type something.

“Are you fucking—?!” Jackie set the laptop on the bench and stood up, walking a few circles around the bench and pulling on his fingers while he tried to calm down. “Okay. Okay, focus. Think, Jackie. Get into that zone. What could the password be? Where could I find it?”

After a few minutes of walking, something occurred to him. That distorted audio. First, what was the point of it? Why include it if it wasn’t important to the puzzle? And second, he’d heard a lot of distorted audio before. This didn’t sound like random white noise. It sounded like something that had been a normal audio file, but had been tampered with.

So, stands to reason that there would be a way to un-tamper it. And maybe...there would be a message once the puzzle was unscrambled. Jackie took a deep breath, then sat back down and grabbed the laptop again.

The computer’s audio player had settings to edit the file with. After speeding up the sound, playing with the pitch, and reversing the audio, he had it sounding almost recognizable. In fact, it sounded familiar...Jackie pressed the earbuds closer. He knew this song. “What is this?” he muttered. He racked his brains, flapping his wrist to help him think. Come on, he definitely knew it...

“Lone Digger!” He finally shouted. “Yea!” He punched the air. The song was by Caravan Palace, who were absolutely fantastic. Jackie wasn’t usually one for electro swing, but he liked them. He actually recommended them to JJ the other day—

Jackie froze. Oh. JJ.

On the one hand, the gamemaster could’ve chosen the song at random. On the other, if this guy knew who his friends were...how many conversations could he have overheard? What if the song choice meant something?

Jackie checked the time on the laptop clock. 12:41am. He had five hours and nineteen minutes left. That sounded like such a short amount of time. He took a deep breath. The night felt a lot colder than it had even a few moments before.

He’d done his best to clear up the distortion in the song, but there were still some odd random noises. Maybe there was another program to help with that. He scanned the shortcuts on the desktop. A visualizer program? He opened it, then loaded his editted version of the 1.ogg file. There were a few filters he could turn on, and he began messing about with them. When he turned on the spectrogram, he sat up straight. Numbers had suddenly appeared in the visual representation of the sound file. 1031, it read.

Jackie switched back over to the strange website, entering 1031 in the spot for the password. After a few seconds when he waited with baited breath, the page changed from the password screen to a map, along with a sidebar with some text along the left of the screen. He recognized the area the map was showing: a spot in the west side of the city, a historic section. The map had no markers. But the sidebar with text could hold some answers. Three questions were written there.

Jackie took a deep breath, fingers drumming on the bench next to him. This area wasn’t too close, but if he ran, he should get there within thirty minutes. Okay. He was doing good on time. He could do this. He deliberately pushed away the voice in his head reminding him of the stakes of the game, reading through the questions.

1. Q: What is the shortest blade a knife can have and still be brought to a public gathering, as of current city laws?

A: _ inches

2. Q: How many letters are there in the British Sign Language Alphabet?

A: 2_

3. Q: What year was the first film with sound released?

A: 192_

Okay. If Jackie had any doubts about who he was trying to save for the first set, they had now been erased. His stomach was full of worms, but he pushed them down farther and calmly opened another tab on the browser.

He had to Google the city laws on knives, and then open up a converter for metric system to American system, but he found the answer easily enough. He didn’t need Google for the second question; it was technically a trick. If you were talking letters and not signs in general, there were the same number of letters as the spoken and written English alphabet. He did have to look up the last one, though.

(3) inches. 2(6) letters. 192(7).

367.

Jackie examined the map on the screen again. There, an address in the area: 367 Studio Blvd, a street appropriately named as an old film studio was located there. In fact, the studio’s address was 367.

The time was 12:49am.

The clock was tick, tick, ticking.

Jackie slammed the laptop shut. He knew how to get there. He was fast, and he had the stamina to run for a while. He packed the computer and its earbuds back into the cardboard box, then stood up.

“Hang on, Jays. I’m coming,” he whispered. And then he ran.

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye fanfiction #jacksepticegos #septic egos #jackieboy man #brigid writes fanfiction #chaostheoryfic

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chaoskirin · 5 years

Text

Up until this point, I have resisted from commenting on what's been going on, save for within a blog that's followed by a handful of people.

Unfortunately, it's come to a point where the harassment has gotten to be too much, and I feel it's best that more people are aware of what's going on.

Earlier this year, I had a medical issue which caused my medication to stop metabolizing, causing the worst symptoms of BPD to manifest. Unfortunately, this causes "splitting." Without going into detail about what that means, I will say that I was quite harsh, and that's putting it lightly. I was suicidal and leaned too heavily on two people I had come to trust, and while one of them suggested the suicide lifeline, I resisted talking to anyone for a long time. As I explained to her, in the past I was the subject of forced hospitalization, and I feared contacting the lifeline would cause me to be institutionalized again.

I made a mistake. I accept full responsibility for dumping my problems on them. It wasn’t fair. It was painful and no apology I make will ever be enough. They ultimately made the decision to cut ties with me, which I had a hard time accepting, but ultimately realized it had to be done for their own health. I respect that.

However, within a couple days, one of them posted a cryptic post aimed at me that essentially accused me of being abusive to minors. Please note that the people I was leaning on were not minors.

I had not posted anything publicly until that point, however, I did feel the need to defend myself against that. In order to get away from these people, I had moved to a new blog, followed at that point by 19 people. I knew my response would not be far-reaching, but admittedly I did hope that the one who made the post directed at me would see it. I felt it was my right to defend myself, and so I responded accordingly, in public, rather than try to circumvent the block.

Notably, one tactic bullies use to claim their innocence is to state that the person defending themselves is actually the one doing the bullying. This actually happened within the last couple days, but I still maintain that anyone being harassed or bullied should absolutely take a stand. Ignoring bullies does not make them go away. And I want to stress that up until that point, I only responded in my blog when one of them made a post directed at me. They weren't content to block me and leave it alone. They continued to instigate.

In the following week's therapy section, my therapist encouraged me that instead of responding directly, I should instead write small snippets of prose (since I'd told her I enjoyed writing) focusing on how I felt instead of on the people involved. I ended up writing two of them, each around 300 words. The first involved sound sensitivity, and the second was about how I was trying to find a new way to dig myself out of the hole I'd dug myself into. The second one was especially important to me because we'd been discussing new pathways of thinking, and I thought the metaphor was clever.

Neither prose piece was about the other people involved, nor did they make any mention of them.

The next day, two people posted long, public letters containing half truths about their version of what happened. They released incredibly private information with which I'd trusted them, and the letters were extremely abusive. The posts used language usually reserved for speaking about r*pe and p*d*philia, contained internet buzzwords regarding abuse and manipulation, and one person backed up their posts with "a friend told me this is manipulative."

Not only were these letters fairly hyperbolic, but they never once gave any reason behind my actions. They didn't state that I was sick, that I was struggling, that I was in treatment, that I had already apologized for my part, nor that the past couple weeks before they blocked me (and after I started treatment) had been much improved--some of which was directly because of their intervention. They painted me as a purposely manipulative, abusive person, and allowed the many followers who read them to form the worst conclusions possible. These letters were both reblogged by the third person.

The shorter of the two letters contained a fairly clear threat.

As a result of this, I got several messages to both my blogs. Some were from people who didn't know the whole story and didn't bother to get my side, and others were anonymous. One friend told me never to contact her again. Prior to that, we'd been on good terms. One of the anons told me to kill myself, and another contained a thinly-veiled threat on my person. As a result, I have been using a proxy on the internet to prevent people from finding me. I have been blocked by people who I'd previously had no problems with.

I stopped posting to my main blog (this one) and password-locked the other one.

Several weeks later, I created a new blog in which to post for myself and for other people with BPD. This blog's purpose was to help me work through the fear and trauma, and so I could discuss with my therapist what I was thinking and what I was working through. In this blog, I addressed the false statements made in the abusive posts as well as acknowledging my part and my intent to improve. This was the only method I had to defend myself. Because many of the posts were BPD related and I thought my research would be helpful, I eventually un-password protected the blog. At this point, I see no reason to hide it. You can find it here: @boredliondisorder

The people I intended to get away from found the new blog, which I had not advertised, and started posting responses to it in their own blogs. These responses were cryptic and unhelpful and accusatory. When such posts were made, I would often get abusive anonymous messages, which would prompt me to look at the other blogs to see what they had posted.

On a personal, somewhat emotional note, I'm not sure why these people believed they had the right to post those letters and subsequent attacks with absolutely no response from me. Of course I was going to address them. I didn't block these people; they blocked me. I respected that by not contacting them directly, while maintaining my right to defend myself. They made it clear that they wanted no more contact with me while at the same time making sure to read everything I posted. Their directed posts seemed to be made in the spirit of hoping I would see them and reply.

Because I installed an IP tracker on my blogs to deal with anonymous messages, I also noticed they were checking my blog daily.

Constantly checking up on me and trying to keep tabs on what I'm doing when I'm trying to work through trauma and move on is crossing a line.

This has continued for a while.

Recently, one of them posted that if I didn't want them watching my blog, I should delete it and create a new url. Please note again that I had already done that several weeks before, but they followed me to the new blog. I'm still not sure how they managed that outside a tag search for BPD-related topics. Which would mean they were constantly searching certain tags to see if I'd created a new blog.

I'm not sure why I should allow myself to be harassed into deleting my blog and re-making it every time they choose to search out and find me. I have left them alone; the onus is now on them to do the same.

An important note: People have been attacked, doxed, killed, and have been forced to move from their homes and into hiding due to internet-based harassment. Most notably in the video game industry, Anita Sarkeesian was targeted by an online video game-centered group. And because this harassment campaign was posted in a popular location, many people saw it, and many people responded to it to the point where even the people standing up to defend her were getting threats of being r*ped or killed. Places where Sarkeesian was scheduled to speak received bomb threats and she had to cancel.

Three people had a problem with me and decided to make it public. It should have been handled privately. Not because of my ego or pride, but because one of the people involved has over 5000 followers and some of them have more militant ideals of how to handle things. It hasn't just become a post here or a post there--one of this person's followers, or multiple followers, has taken it upon themselves to attack me. Because of this, I have to use a VPN. My family have had to deal with the fallout from this as well.

I have been afraid up until this point to defend myself, because these people crafted those letters almost perfectly. They ensured through omission of fact that no one would stand up for me. I am not asking people to stand up for me now, but I AM asking everyone to stop harassing me over this, because you are operating on half a story. It needs to stop.

I don't think you are bad people, but I honestly don't think that you realize how far-reaching your actions have been. To quote one of the letters, "Do you know what you've done to me? Do you actually get it?" Because I don't think you do. You had to deal with someone severely mentally unstable, and that wasn't fair to you. But in contrast, I am living in fear for my life, and this will affect me for years to come.

I did not want to post this. But the harassment has to stop. It is going to stop.

To anyone reading this, don't destroy the message by sending anonymous hate. If you know who these people are, remember that this post is only one side of the story. Take their side into consideration as well and draw your own conclusions. This cycle of abuse has to end.

#personal #please don't reblog #not bestiary

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