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hantenguclonesimp-minuszoha · 2 months

Note

hantengu (+plus all of his clones) reaction to their wife giving them their first ever kiss on the lips. This would probably take place like at the beginning of their marriage. Also if you don’t feel comfortable with making wife reader kiss Zohakuten on the lips, you could do like his nose or the area above his lips. Thank you! :))

𝓐 𝓚𝓲𝓼𝓼 𝓕𝓸𝓻 𝓖𝓸𝓸𝓭 𝓛𝓾𝓬𝓴.

Hantengu x Fem!Reader Kissing HCs

Synopsis: The Upper Rank 4's now wife couldn't resist kissing her sweet husband just to see his reaction, or in her case, her sweet husbands.

Warnings: A bit of NSFW elements on Sekido's, Karaku's and Urogi's parts, otherwise it's just a whole lot of sweetness \(>v<)/

Divider credits:

Saradika's roses, golden railing and that weird green thing

Purples sparkles and paint roll splodge thing

Water like waves

Note: OMG THIS IS SUCH A CUTE IDEA!!! I LOVE IT!!!! ALL OF YOU HAVE THE BEST IDEAS!! (I wrote this really quickly cuz the smut is taking WAY too long for even me so have at it in the meantime, anyways, enjoy the food ^3^) + please forgive me if this isn't too great, this is my first time doing HCs. I couldn't really picture a full on one-shot with this so I turned them to HCs, it's also a great way for me to try it out for the first time (° 3 °) + did not proofread (I never do)

The mere fact that the Upper Moon Four out of all the six (eight) upper moons actually got married, much less got into a relationship and somehow managed to keep it is a shock in itself for not only the other moons but for Muzan himself. If anything, he thought it'd all end in just a few days, but no, his fourth strongest demon is married now. Oh well, he could care less for any of his employees. As long as they did as they were told, they were free to do as they wish.

As for the newlyweds, they were perfect and happy. The wife's family was very happy for the pair, though, they had been under the impression that it was just one man and not a demon that could split into younger versions of himself. That would've been quite the scandal. Now, the day – or in this case, night – after the wedding, they are all simply relaxing in their shared home after having returned from a mission.

𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐮

— The first thing this little demon does is rush to his wife, sobbing and bawling his eyes out about the fact that demon slayers tried to kill him, claiming that he "can do no wrong" or that he's being "wrongly accused of crimes". It's the same old thing and even then, she listens to every word he has to say as he shivers in her palm.

— Is quite surprised to say the least. He didn't expect the soft lips of his perfect wife to press against his small head but that doesn't mean it wasn't welcomed, if anything he cried more, though this time, not about the fact that he was hunted by demon slayers. Well, maybe that too, but that was only so his wife could pity him more and give him more kisses.

"T-They were all s-so awful! Their b-blades against my n-n-neck was so a-agonising!! It scared me!" He sobbed while hugging her thumb, wiping his tears and snot on the sleeve of his kimono as he continued his complaints. "Oh, my poor husband. Maybe some kisses will make you feel better." She said as she places a multitude of soft pecks on not only his head but also his small body. The small demon could not resist the feeling of his wife's lips against him and thus moved closer so more of his body could gain the sensation of her lips pressing against it.

— Is far too shy (scared) to ask for kisses. Instead, he uses his manipulation tactics to get her to pity him and so she could kiss him. A little bit of guilt here and there but it is all worth it for a few of his wife's kisses.

— Is the one who enjoys getting kissed by his wife the most after Aizetsu and surprisingly enough is very greedy for them to the point where he forgets being shy and simply begs for her to kiss him.

"P-Please kiss me again, d-dear! Just o-one more time!" He pleaded, almost on the verge of crying again at the thought of his wife's show of affection stopping. She chuckles softly at his desperacy for her kisses and is even a little bit surprised at how much he craves them. Usually he's busy cowering in a corner or something. "Of course, my love. I'll give you all the kisses you want." She cooed before her lips pressed themselves against his cheeks.

— Gets extremely flustered if it's on the lips. He'll begin to stutter and perhaps even forget how to speak as his face flushes a bright red despite his still heart not really giving a proper blood flow.

— Must always kiss him whenever he leaves for a mission or in general, or if you go to bed or anywhere else really and it must be on the lips, he will settle for nothing less. And I mean nothing less.

— Will kiss you softly in your sleep if he returns from a mission and you're already lights out before cuddling up beside you.

— Favourite places to kiss you are your lips, forehead and cheeks, how cute.

𝐒𝐞𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐨

— Sekido is probably at the patio rubbing his temples, trying to get a moment of silence and peace all to himself after having dealt with his annoying younger selves. Their tomfoolery and clown-like behaviour makes him want to absorb them so they shut up, especially Karaku who doesn't know when to keep his trap shut.

— The tension in his head is instantly relieved at the mere sound of his wife. He had heard her approaching from a few rooms away and is pleased with her presence before standing up to give her a firm hug and sighing heavily to begin his complaining about the other clones.

— Completely caught off guard and stunned to silence when he suddenly feels his wife's lips against his face, only blinking in pleasant surprise as his crimson eyes stare into hers. He never knew how much he liked her kisses until now.

"They are such a pain to manage and it makes want to rip them all to shreds so they could shut their traps for once!" He spat angrily while shaking his head in annoyance. The urge to punch something grew ever so stronger as he then got up to grab and throw something before he was interrupted by the feeling of soft lips on his jawline. "Don't break stuff, Sekido, those are expensive." Her soothing voice rang out in the large space, the soft sound waves of her voice reaching his hypersensitive pointed ears and instantly calming his extreme rage.

— Will immediately ask for more kisses and is not ashamed about it, though that won't encourage him to openly ask infront of the others, especially not Karaku.

— Surprisingly enough, he gets a bit hot and bothered at just your kisses alone and even moreso when on the lips. Poor clone is constantly stressed out that any outlet of relief already gets him so worked up. Doesn't mean it's unattractive, if you know what I mean 👀

"Again." He huffs softly, rough hands grabbing onto her waist and pulling her to his frame before his lips connect to hers. Immediately, his tongue fights its way through her mouth, intertwining with hers and venturing as deep as it could. His hands hold onto her waist firmly before one of his them slips just below her buttock and groped it firmly, the other slipping upwards and cupping her breast.

— He was beginning to enjoy himself before his advances were stopped by you with the excuse that the others would hear and would also want to join, much to his disappointment and irritation.

— Nevertheless, he's well-aware that you're right. While he doesn't mind sharing you with the others in the slightest, he'd like to have you alone for a little while due to how worked up he is.

— Will give you kisses should you go anywhere that's not near them and may even follow you just ensure your safety and expect the same when he's going on missions.

— Favourite places to kiss are neck, lips and jawline.

𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐤𝐮

— At this point, she's had the idea to go around and kiss the other clones to see how they'd react and she had a fair idea of what Karaku's reaction would be. Karaku, who was in the kitchen doing God knows what, was surprised when his wife suddenly approached him and kissed him on the lips.

— I mean, who said he's complaining? If anything, he can put aside time he had made to play fight with Urogi for a few kisses and perhaps more from his wife (⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)

"Am I that irresistible to you, sweet thing?" He purred teasingly, face leaning in far beyond her personal space (not that she minds). "Perhaps." She teased back before backing away her head. "Oh no, no, stay a little. I'd like to have some more little kisses from my little wife!" Karaku wasn't going to let her get away that easily, no way. The demon grabbed her hips and pulled her closer before kissing her neck and jawline, slowly trailing his lips upwards towards her lips.

— Instantly got handsy with you (no surprise there), hands busy down there groping your asscheeks as if they were some stress toys while he's busy making out with you. Almost seemed like he wanted to lift you up...

— His mouth was definitely everywhere, especially near your cleavage. The guy has a weird obsession with your boobs and not just in the horny way.

— Was definitely disappointed when you pulled away and said you still have the other clones to attend to but didn't fuss about it. He's just happy he got to get a few grabs on his wife here and there and managed to get a make out session with her, even if short.

"Alright, alright, fine. But were definitely continuing this when you're done." Karaku says before giving her rear a slap and disappearing into the living room as she stood there chuckling at his behaviour. She expected nothing less from the pleasure demon.

— Will often try to engage a make out session with you whether or not the others are present and not giving a rat's ass about what they may think, do, or say as long as he got to taste your lips.

— Favourite places to kiss are definitely cleavage/boobs and neck. He's that guy.

𝐀𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐭𝐬𝐮

— Shocked but gladly welcomed it as his face gained a light red colour before he kissed back harder. Instantly went soft and (politely) asked for more kisses, also wanting to feel his head be held in her delicate hands.

— Immediately begins to complain about Sekido having yelled at him too much and that he was following orders. Out of each clone so far, Aizetsu appeared the most stressed and frustrated and the only way he could out that was through crying since he didn't really possess any other emotional receptors other than sorrow.

"He always yells so much, it hurts my ears and head... Even when I do what I'm told he still yells." The now crying demon sniffles softly into the crook of her neck. She pat his back softly as she listened to him vent while also scolding Sekido in her head at his brash behaviour. "Please kiss me, darling... Your love always makes me feel better." Even if he couldn't feel the emotion love itself, he loved it when his wife would express her love for him no matter what way that may be (pause).

— The longer this goes on, the sappier he gets as he constantly asks for words of affirmation and kisses while snuggling you more. While he prefers kisses on his forehead and cheek, he isn't too shy to kiss back on the lips and they're not just the soft once you see in those love story movies.

— The man (demon) can kiss just as well as the others, I mean for goodness' sake, they're the same person but at different ages of their shared life (even though that's barely noticeable). Aizetsu can start a whole make out session if he so wished with the way his tongue was dancing with yours right now, but all he wants right now is comfort from the frustration his second oldest counterpart had caused (Urami is the oldest, dumb dumb excluding Hantengu).

— Like Hantengu, he's a sucker for kisses. Please kiss this man anywhere (pause) because he loves it. He'll kiss you too in return, can't only take without giving something in return for his lovely wife, now can he?

— He comes to you when he's sadder than usual for kisses and snuggles so he can calm down or in case the others are too loud.

— Favourite places to kiss are corner of your lip, nose and temple

𝐔𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐢

— Oh boy, this one is already so hyperactive and it only gets worse when he gets attention from his wife, so imagine how giggly and jumpy he was when he suddenly felt her lips connect to his. He could almost ascend to the heavens even though that's not where he's ever going.

— Will demand for more because it makes him happy and according to him, he gets "a pleasant feeling" in his chest that he can't get enough of.

— Will instantly grab hold of her to deepen the kiss, so much so that he forgets she needs to breathe (oopsie). He does apologise for forgetting so there's a plus.

"You taste exquisite, songbird. I could kiss those lips forever and not get tired from it." Said the lively harpy clone before once again going in for a deep and passionate kiss while being mindful of his talons and wrapping his wings around her.

— Guaranteed privacy screen with his wings when your kissing him. It reminds him of how you belong to nobody else but him, that you love only him (and the clones) and have eyes for nobody else. It's also a way of asserting his dominance.

— Absolutely LOVES it when you put your hands on his chest, it fuels his already inflated ego since he's the clone who shows off the most ("How do you like my talons?" ahh). Not only does he like to gloat about his talons and their strength, but he also LOVES to show off his body to you and boast about how good he looks (for you).

— Can't have Urogi headcanons without mentioning his wings now, can I? Since – according to actual research – caressing a bird's wings can get them aroused/sexually frustrated (if you don't do anything else), Urogi loves it when you place small kisses on his wings. It makes him feel oh so good. Sometimes he forgets he can't just grab you randomly and make love to you right then and there. Oh well, a kiss will do for now.

"Kiss my wings, it feels good." Urogi commands rather bluntly as he flared his wings out for her, caressing her face gently to coax her into kissing them. She chuckled softly before doing what was requested from her. She was quite surprised to hear a soft, barely audible moan from Urogi before realising why he wanted her to kiss his wings. That gives her ideas for... future playtime.

— Gets embarrassed when you hear him moan and uses the excuse that you must've heard wrong or teases you about wanting him (I sure do 😝). He will never admit that his wings do more than just get him to moan.

— Favourite places to kiss are ears, collarbone, forehead and lips.

𝐙𝐨𝐡𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐧

Now, hear me out. While I among many other people see Zohakuten as a child, I've got a more complicated view on it. I see Zohakuten as an adult child if that makes sense. I am comfortable with writing him being married to an adult woman because essentially, he is still an adult, like he has the mental age of an 87 year old man. I can write stuff like kissing and even minor spicy stuff for him but that extends only so far (i.e: him purposely shoving his face into Y/N's breasts like Karaku just to get attention or just very slight groping). I will not go any further than that point. No exceptions. He still physically appears as a child.

— Now, this is a little different. After everyone had calmed down and the wife was wandering elsewhere, they all had gotten the sudden strong urge to fuse. They all realised that Zohakuten wants to have a turn and who could blame him? They just got married and not to mention he rarely ever reveals himself.

— Imagine her surprise when she hears a deep voice – somewhere in the range of Sekido's voice – calling out to her "Woman." and turning around to see a the youngest clone standing there with his arms behind his back.

— Of course, like a good husband, he asked how she fared while he was out on a mission and the usual before respectfully asking for a kiss, however, there was a very faint hint of envy present. She knew he was a tad bit envious of his older counterparts being able to gain her affection at any time of the day or night while he couldn't so of course she couldn't resist him.

"I've missed you..." He mumbles softly before wrapping his arms around his precious wife, reveling the feeling of getting to hold her in his arms even if only for a moment. "I've missed you more, my darling." She coos in return before cupping his small face and placing a soft kiss on his lips. Zohakuten in turn intensified the kiss, his fangs grazing her lower lip as he did so and arms tightening around her waist.

— Believe it or not, this little fella is a certified gentleman. Ignoring what he said to the Love Hashira (💀), this boy is the most gentlemanly after Urami. He's the type to hold your hand like those princes with their princesses to assist you when walking down the stairs.

— I mean, everytime he reveals himself, he greets you with a small bow and a kiss to the back of your palm, idk what more you could want from this little cutie.

— Although, he can be quite vulgar, he tones it down a massive amount when he's around you and is less scornful thanks to the calming effect your presence has on him.

— Do not he surprised when he's simply staring at you with a harsh look as if you've just murdered his main body, that's just him suppressing the urge to kiss you.

"Uhm, d-dear?" The wife calls softly to Zohakuten who's been doing nothing but stare at her with the harshest glare she's ever seen him stare at her with. Zohakuten snaps out of his daze as his expression softens before he hums inquistively. "You've been staring at me like I've just sided with the demon slayers. Is everything, okay?" His eyes then widen slightly before he sighs and shakes his head. "Oh... no. I just simply wish to kiss you, that is all." Her cheeks gained a red tint after that surprisingly blunt and honest confession as she then smiles. "Oh, well... Who am I to say no?"

— Is very honest about what he wants if he's caught. Unlike the other clones – excluding Urami – and the main body, who try to hide what they want, Zohakuten is not shy to admit that he wants your lips against his and he will say that with the straightest face.

— Loves it when you kiss his forehead, it makes him feel all soft inside and he doesn't know why or how.

— Favourite places to kiss are hands, temple and lips.

𝐔𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐢

— His presence alone surprised her even more than Zohakuten, especially when he walked out of the room that Hantengu was in. Urami reveals himself every once in a blue moon due to the fact that he simply wishes not to deal with his younger selves' bickering and monkey business. However, seeing as all the others gained a bit of affection from their wife and that they're newlyweds, he too wished to spend some time with his wife.

— Much like Zohakuten, he's very gentlemanly when it comes to asking for affection from his wife. He respectfully asked if he could hold her and lift her up to his level so he could kiss her properly.

— Hear me out. The best kisser after Karaku. I don't know, he just looks like he has so much experience with women (which he kinda does 😒), like look how massive he is 😳.

She was surprised when a rather large hand gently grabbed her waist to turn her around. "Oh! Hello you!" She greeted happily as she looked up at her massive husband before hugging his legs. He was surprised but allowed it and even picked her up into his arms before kissing her temple. "Yes. I figured why not also be present when the others are gaining your addicting love?" Quite a flirt.

— Urami is surprisingly chill when it comes to kissing yet also really passionate. Like think of just wanting a quick kiss from big ass hubby over there and he picks you up only to give the most leg-shaking casual kiss ever 😫.

— He's quite a flirt. You could almost say he's near Karaku's level just minus to pervert stares, touches and so on. Like, he's the type of "Formal old man dilf" type of flirt and knows how to use his words, he just doesn't do it often due to how rarely he's present and even if he is, he's just mostly quiet (most sane clone).

— Should he ever engage in flirting with you, be prepared to have a face painted red and him drinking blood as if it were tea as he sits there with his most neutral expression.

— I swear, his kisses make you think you're a virgin again with how well he does it. Like, he even uses his fangs to graze your lips and even your tongue softly while also (respectfully) touching you to the point where your legs aren't even jelly, they're straight up water (😏).

Urami felt the familiar grip of his wife's hands on his kimono and knew that he was once again doing a flawless job at making her melt like ice in his arms and he couldn't be more satisfied at that fact as his fangs gently graze her tongue that was being twirled with his as if it were a sort of waltz. "You're doing it again." The tall clone teased before resuming their kiss.

— Holds your face or hands when he's kissing you cuz he's just that guy.

— Favourite places to kiss are hands, neck and forehead.

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ash5monster01 · 1 year

Text

More Than You Know

Pairing: Steve Harrington x FemReader(Plus-size!)

Warnings: fat shaming, body image issues, swearing, angst, lots of yelling, fluff

Summary: You had liked Steve since the day you met but you never entertained the idea of being with him because you figured a popular guy like him would never date a girl your size. Coming to terms with this didn’t mean you’d stop defending him in a world full of ungrateful girls. So you reach your breaking point when you’re sick and tired of watching girls miss out on something that would be so good for them. Thing was, Steve heard everything you had to say.

word count: 2047

Masterlist

“Looking good today Lola” you could practically see the smirk on Steve’s face from the sound of his voice. Looking up you saw his eyes trained on the blonde beside you, who had yet to put returns you had finished rewinding back on the shelf, her nail file much to important.

Lola Grant was everything you were not. Blonde, primp, perfect. Steve loved her for all of those things including her tiny waist. You on the other hand hated her for all of those things. She wore dresses with flower patterns and you still wore the same tattered converse, ripped and worn in all the best ways. Your jeans and Motley Crue T-shirt didn’t compare. You were not the same.

“Thanks Stevie” you hated the nickname, especially how it brought a smile the shaggy haired boys face.

“I was wondering if you were free Friday night, I’m having a movie night with the kids and was wondering if you wanted to join?” you had lost count of all the attempts Steve had made to ask the girl out. There had to of been a billion by now.

“Sorry Steve but that sounds pathetic spending Friday night with underage kids” she sneered, meanness dripping from her tone. Steves smile faltered only slightly and despite how much you hated him for still trying he was still your friend.

“Then what’s your ideal date Lola?” your tone was sharp, accusatory, and just plain angry that she couldn’t see how great a guy he was. Not that she deserved him anyway.

“A fancy dinner, wine, making out in a movie theater, third base in the back of a BMW. Nothing to do with babysitting” she responded promptly. Steve hummed with satisfaction, a dopey grin on his face. The sentence immediately making him forget how rude she was in the first place. His mind now only in the backseat of a BMW.

“Classy” you quipped, and she offered a forced smile but knew you were judging her. Yet a girl like you didn’t really get under her skin. How could you when you guys weren’t even in the same league of girls.

“We could do something else, maybe a movie?” you didn’t hide the roll of your eyes as Steve tried again.

“Maybe another time Stevie, I’m busy this weekend” a lie and you knew it, and maybe he did too. Finally picking up the stack of tapes you rewinded she moved off to place them on shelves.

“Get real Steve” you snipped, the moment she was out of ear shot.

“What’s your deal?” he asked and you shook your head, amused he couldn’t see how shitty she was.

“My deal is that girl sucks, you’ve got so much more going for you” you said pushing a new tape into the machine and hitting rewind. Steve moved behind the counter, taking Lola’s previous spot.

“She doesn’t suck, she’s cool and hot. Hard to get but I don’t give up” he smirked as he crossed his arms and you groaned, annoyed that he was so blinded by her fake appearance. She was nothing more than a girl who peaked in high school and Steve was so much more.

“She’s not cool nor is she hot. Don’t you ever think? If she actually had anything going for her she wouldn’t still be stuck here working in a video store” your anger caused the words to rattle out and Steves face dropped.

“Wonder what you think of me then?” you instantly realized your mistake and began shaking your head. You wished Robin wasn’t at school and was here to defend you.

“That’s not what I meant Steve-” but he was already shaking his head in offense and pushing himself off the counter.

“It’s exactly what you meant Y/N” he spoke harshly, hurt by his friend and the words you had spoke as he walked into the back room. Sighing you dropped your head on the counter, upset you pissed him off.

“What’s wrong? Did he deny you?” Lola chuckled as she returned to the counter now free of VHS tapes. Lola viewed life as a social ladder. She was on the top, Steve right below her, which is why she never dated him, and you were all the way on the bottom. She was out of Steve’s reach but you were miles away.

“No Lola, thanks for having faith in me” sarcasm laced your tone as you lifted your head.

“How could I have faith in you, you’ve never had a date in your life” she chuckled, annoyed you gave her so much crap when she saw you as absolutely nothing. She didn’t even think Steve should be talking to you.

“Shut up Lola” you spoke, not wanting anymore shit, already angry enough.

“You want to know why you haven’t had a date Y/N?” Lola expression turned menacing as she moved towards you, mean girl genes firing through her bones. “Because you’re fat, and weird, and no guy is attracted to that”

“You know what?” normally Lola would get to you, break your heart and allow tears to pool in your eyes. But today was your breaking point. She could treat you as badly as she wanted but you were done with her treating Steve like that.

“What?” her amused expression didn’t falter as she waited for some lame comeback bound to fall from your mouth.

“You’re a bitch Lola. Nothing more than a washed up high school mean girl. You’re gonna spend the rest of your life in this God forsaken town, running though men like their a God damn marathon, until you end up stuck with some creepy old man who knocked you up, and you’ll never be anything more than that girl from high school absolutely everyone hated” Lola was shocked as you continued to raise your voice at her, alerting Steve from the back room.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about” Lola began to shake her head but you were beyond angry now, laughing as you approached her. Steve moved to the door, listening to everything you both said.

“Yes I do, because everyday you treat Steve like shit when he thinks you’re the best thing on earth. Do you know how crazy that is? Steve is the greatest guy I know. He cares for so many people when he doesn’t even have to, including me, he even drives Robin to school everyday even if he doesn’t have to be up for work, because he’s such a great guy. He’s the kind of guy who would treat you right and every day for no fucking reason you tell him no” Lola opened her mouth to speak but you quickly held up a hand, not done with your spiel.

“Not to say you deserve a guy like that because you don’t, and twenty years from now, while your holding your child on the porch of your trailer home, you’re gonna be wishing you said yes to him. Every day I hope he’s gonna walk through those doors and ask me out instead because I know what he’s worth. He may be way out of both our leagues but at least I appreciate him. The only reason he still asks you is because you are the skinny, pretty girl, and that fucking stings. Yet I guess that’s how this cruel world works. So leave us both the fuck alone from now on” heavy breaths left your mouth as you finished, Steve having heard the whole thing, shocked to hear such passion come from you.

“Okay, I’m sorry” Lola muttered, before rushing from behind the counter. “I’m gonna take off, my shift is up anyway”

“Bye” you snipped, and she wore a guilty expression as she quickly collected her things and fled the building. You dropped your head back on the counter, now worked up from the drama. Steve finally walked out the back room, knowing Lola was gone.

“You think I ask her out because she’s prettier than you?” your shoulders tensed at his voice, not realizing he heard the whole thing. “Because you’re way prettier than her”

“Don’t lie to me right now Steve, guys don’t date big girls like me” you looked up as you shook your head at him. Steve didn’t care the enthuse the idea.

“I never asked you out because I thought you were too good for me” you furrowed your eyebrows as he continued to talk anyway. Steve had always thought you were pretty and on top of that you were also the best person he knew.

“I’m nothing special and you’re kinda the coolest person I know. I ask Lola out because she’s the kinda girl I’m gonna end up with, not because of her looks compared to yours. I’m just not good enough for you” you scoffed, not believing a word because you truly had never heard kind words like this before. It was also hard to believe he could feel like same way you had all this time, used to people avoiding you because of your size.

“I’m not looking for the you’re not fat, you’re beautiful speech. You weren’t supposed to hear what I said. So can we just drop it” you said turning away from him, uninterested in this lame attempt at making you feel better. You had accepted your fate a long time ago.

“You are beautiful Y/N. Fuck, why can’t you see that? I never asked you out because you were the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen and I didn’t want to ruin that” tears pooled in your eyes because if you let yourself believe him and it wasn’t true you weren’t sure you’d ever recover.

“You’re a great guy Steve, you wouldn’t ruin anything. I would” Steve’s heart warmed because he heard how you had defended him like that. Not even he thought he was so great and apparently you noticed him more than he thought you did.

“Thank you for defending me, and it made me realize that I do deserve someone who would defend me like that. So go out with me Y/N, and not just because of this whole thing, because I’ve wanted to date you since the day we met” you shook your head, the tears now falling down your face.

“Steve if you hurt me, I just can’t. I wouldn’t be able to handle it” Steve felt his heart break as he looked at you. Really looked at you and he felt terrible he had never made you realize how amazing you were in the first place. He was selfish staying away because you deserved to be shown you were just as beautiful as any girl Steve had dated.

“Let me prove you wrong” he said gripping your arms and you looked up at him, tear filled eyes, and he felt the wind get knocked out of him from the look in your eyes. The fact he never realized you loved him back before was shocking because he could see it written all over your face.

“Okay” you muttered and before you could even react he tugged your lips against his. Arms gripping you for dear life and your eyes were wide as you realized what he had done. He had kissed you and you had never even expected it. Then you realized how soft his lips were, how he tasted like cherries, and his warm mouth soothed every ache in your heart. Your hands gripped his shirt as you settled into the kiss, relaxation taking over you, eyes fluttering shut as he moved to wrap his arms around you. If you had known yelling at Lola would make Steve Harrington kiss you like this you would’ve done it a lot sooner. You weren’t even fully sure you were supporting yourself anymore, knees weak from the fire he has ignited in your stomach.

“Holy shit” Steve panted as he pulled away, a dopey smile on his face, because he had never felt like that from kissing a girl before.

“I know” you panted right along side him and he let out a giddy chuckle, moving to pull you back into his arms.

“I may not deserve you but after that I’m not going down without a fight”

#steve harrington imagine #steve harrington imagines #steve harrington smut #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x plus sized reader #steve harrington x you #joe keery #stranger things #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x fem #steve harrington x ofc #steve harrington x y/n smut #imagine #stranger things imagine #netflix

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beatrixstonehill2 · 3 months

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Soooo this rich photographer flew me out to his waterfront penthouse overlooking the city..... You know, he did what photographers do and filmed me, took pics, got me nice and drunk. He showed me his place, mind you he's in a fancy suit and I'm in this bikini, my cock is basically falling out of it and I'm rock hard the whole time I'm there. He shows me this gorgeous portfolio of other trans girls he's worked with, mostly videos on his computer, and oh my god..... I started fondling my cock as he kept showing me some of the prettiest girls I've ever seen, huge breasts, curvy asses, perfect smile, juicy cocks.... But every video ended with a shirtless man. I didn't get it and he told me not to worry, so I kept playing with my cock, sipping my wine as he showed me more.....

The videos always ended the same. Some handsome guy flexing his muscles, looking really hot tbh, most of them had beards or well-groomed facial hair, none were shaven. They all exuded the kind of masculinity I find super hot, def the kind of guys I love my plump ass to be fucked by. The photographer finally turned to me and told me the men were all the very same people as the sexy girls he showed me. He had a really big kink for convincing trans girls to detrans. I was floored, but kept jerking my cock..... He saw this and smiled. He told me he'd happily pay me 100K to detransition. I jerked super fast and nutted, drooling like a good little whore, eyes rolling back......

"100K? You want to see me become a boy that badly???" I panted, jerking my flaccid cock as it drooled more cum, soon getting erect again.....

"Just look at you, already a machine. Imagine what that cock could do on testosterone. I'd love to see you give up becoming a girl for good. Embrace being a guy, which is what you really are, princess.

I bit my lip, my cock responding so well to his words, nice and full again. "Please..... I like being a girl but I mean.... You really really wanna see me detrans, I can tell!"

"I do. I want to see you get muscular, pumped full of so much T and steroids nobody would ever know you were living as such a pretty girl, or at least a decent imitation, not that you pass, darling. You're hot but that cock is a dead give away, and you still look like a boy, but you already knew that, didn't you?" He stroked my chin.

I nodded softly. "I don't pass at all, do I?"

"Not in the slightest, you poor misguided fakegirl. I'm surprised anyone even thinks to gender you correctly. It definitely doesn't help that you're so proud of your cock and flaunt it all over social media, walking around in dresses with a full erection. You can just see people roll their eyes forcing themselves to call you a girl to be nice. But like I said, your face is still very masculine, totally a dead give away. Are you sure you aren't already growing facial hair? I swear I see a shadow."

I was blushing so hard, fully erect and jerking super hard again. "I mean, estrogen only helps so much, I started transitioning at fourteen! But by then..... and sometimes I forget to take my hormones and, ummmmm...... soooo, this is how deep my voice actually is." I used my real voice, sounding pretty much like a guy.

"Wow, I mean you still sounded like a boy pretending to be a girl before but I had no idea you basically already went through male puberty..... that explains why your cock is so huge. You you're pretty much not even a trans girl, you're a femboy with implants?"

I nodded, cumming again, shooting rope after rope. "Mmmmm, maybe? Sorry I don't pass very well..... I hope you still find me sexy...."

"Oh, all the sexier, in fact I'm going to take that fat ass of yours for a nice ride in a moment..... just after I give you your first official T-shot, so let's celebrate you no longer pretending to be a girl. From now on you'll be a good boy and masculinize yourself as much as possible, OK?"

"Yes..... sir..... anything else before you have your way with me?"

"I want you to post a video of yourself to your Instagram, talking in your real voice, that you're detransitioning and getting your DD implants yanked out next week."

"OK..... whatever you like. ❤️ I need to give up playing pretend..... thank you for helping me!"

"It's my pleasure, helping boys like you is my greatest passion."

Needless to say..... I won't be looking back, and I have a few more fakegirl friends I think I'll send his way....

#detrans kink #mtf detrans kink #mtftm kink #misgender kink

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heartybubs · 1 year

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change

the 100 [ bellamy blake x reader ]

type : angsty, maybe a bit fluffy?

tropes: forced proximity, best friends to lovers

warnings: mentions of anxiety, heavy language, lowkey manipulative bellamy

in which bellamy blake and reader used to date but when he spiraled after octavia was arrested and his life fell apart, he distanced himself from her. after he begs her to trust him blindly and she does, they have to figure out their relationship on earth as neither of them is able to let it go.

a/n: hii, this is my first piece of writing in a loooong long time but i’m really enjoying the 100 again and i’ve noticed a severe lack of bellamy content on here, so i hope you like it! i don’t think i used any pronouns but i did use the term “girl” multiple times to describe reader! w.c.: 4.831

after octavia was discovered, he lost his job and his mum was floated, bellamy fell into a terrifying rabbit hole of depression. he lost himself with everything else in his life and instead of holding on to you, he wanted you to do better than him; so he ignored you. of course it made everything worse than it already was but it helped to tell himself he was actually saving you, despite seeing you fall apart piece by piece for months. he knew you'd get it together at some point, you had a great life going for you and he didn't want to risk you losing it at anytime soon, especially not because of him.

so when commander shumway approached bellamy and asked him to assassinate chancellor jaha in return of being able to go to earth with his sister and he said yes with barely any hesitation, he couldn't help but think about you, the girl he was so deeply in love with.

so now, bellamy was close to sprinting across the hall, giving his all to reach your door as fast as he could. he was going to earth, he had already shot the chancellor, but he couldn't leave you behind, no matter how hard he tried, not even after all those months of breaking your heart.

but just because he broke your heart that didn't mean he didn't love you the entire time.

you had taken the day off of guard duty, not feeling well as your three year anniversary with bellamy was approaching or, well, it would've if he hadn't abandoned you a few months ago.

although you tried your hardest to get it together, especially because you didn't want to risk your job as a guard on the ark, you couldn't just forget about bellamy. you had never loved anyone like him and no one had ever hurt you like he had.

there was aggressive knocking on the door, startling you immediately. you sighed frustratedly, there was no one who'd have time, or even want to, visit you in the middle of the day. especially not that desperately, since whoever was disturbing your peace got more and more aggressive with each knock.

you opened the door and before you could say anything, you were pushed into your room by a strong, all too familiar man. not being able to comprehend, you simply stared at the tan man in front of you, admiring his freckled face you had missed so much.

"bellamy? wha-", he cut you off, shaking his head frantically.

"look, y/n, this has gotta be really weird for you right now, but we have to leave. like, now. you have to come with me, okay?", although he was clearly stressed, there was a softness to be noticed in his voice that you knew all too well. you also recognized that he wasn't exactly asking you to come with him, he was telling you to.

"bellamy, what do you mean? you can't just come here and, and.. bellamy i don't understand! why are you wearing a guard’s uniform?", you rambled, looking at him more than desperate for answers. you knew that you would follow him anywhere but you didn't want to. you shouldn't after what he did to you.

he sighed, looking around nervously before taking a deep breath in and putting his hands on your cheeks. he held your face in his hands, pulling you a bit closer to him as he looked into your eyes.

"y/n, i beg you, you have to trust me, okay? i know i haven't been the best.. the best to you but if there's one thing you can do for me, even if it's the last time you ever help me out again, i need it to be today, right now", he noticed your big eyes, only now realizing that this might not work out and it scared him, terrified him even. "y/n..y/n, baby please. i'm begging you, begging. we don't have time, we need to go, please trust me, please y/n!"

"okay, bell."

you could tell how much this relieved him immediately and right as a little smile started showing, he pulled you out of your room, swiftly grabbing your necklace you always kept next to your keys and dragged you through the ark. it felt like you were running through the entire space station and when you finally slowed down, bellamy didn't give you a single second to ask questions.

he just motioned to you to be silent as he carefully pushed you towards something you recognized to be a dropship. your eyes widened in panic, what the hell was going on here.

"bellamy, serious-", he simply covered your mouth and shoved you into the dropship before closing the door. as panic overtook you and your breathing got heavier, your perception lessened. without bellamy pushing you around and doing whatever you needed to do for you, you wouldn't have gotten anything done.

you were clearly having a panic attack and while it hurt bellamy to not be able to help you get through right now, he had to prioritize your safety during the travel to earth and before you knew it, you passed out.

{ ~* }

you felt soft taps on your shoulder as you slowly regained consciousness. slowly raising your head before finally opening your eyes and looking around. you were still in the dropship but you were all by yourself, no sight of bellamy. of course.

the person who'd been trying to wake you was a boy you recognized as wells jaha, the chancellor's son. he looked at you, relief basically written all over him as you finally reacted to his attempts of waking you up. "i'm so glad you're awake, i almost thought you wouldn't wake up again. wait, let me help you out."

he started to unbuckle you, holding you up as you were still a bit weak from your intense panic attack. he could tell how confused you were immediately.

"i'm wells, you're a guard, right? why'd they send you to earth with us?", wells questioned as your eyes widened.

"earth?!", you repeated immediately, not believing what you heard and completely ignoring his question. you couldn't be on earth, it wasn't even going to be habitable for the next three generations so how could you be on earth now, alive?!

wells didn't really know how to react, he had expected you to know but you were just as, probably even more clueless than the delinquents. he decided not to engage in any more conversation, respecting your space as he figured you'd want some time to cope, as well as recovering from whatever made you pass out.

you were thankful for being left alone, slowly standing up and once you felt stable enough to walk to the hatch, you followed the ladder down. immediately you were met with the most beautiful sight you've ever seen.

tall trees, their roots covered in beautiful, bright green plants and, of course, many people all around the area.

you didn't care about them though, the only person you wanted to find was bellamy, he had to explain himself. what was he thinking, taking you to earth without even telling you?!

luckily, it didn't take you long to find him. he was talking to a girl much shorter than him; she had dark brown hair and bright blue eyes and although you hadn't seen her that well the last time, the day she was arrested, you were certain it was bellamy's little sister octavia.

you walked over to them, careful not to overestimate your strength yet and once bellamy noticed you, he got tense immediately.

"y/n, how are you?", he spoke up, seemingly interrupting octavia who simply looked at you curiously. while she had never really met you, she knew so much about you. everytime bellamy told her a story to fall asleep to, it was always about princess y/n and once she got older, he finally revealed that you were actually his girlfriend. she loved what she'd heard so far but she decided to lay low, not wanting to interrupt the two of you.

"i'm good. bellamy, what the fuck is going on, are we really on earth? you have to-", he sighed loudly before cutting you off. "i'm glad you're feeling good. you shouldn't stress yourself too much, you're probably still a bit weak, okay? enjoy earth."

the usual softness in his voice was all gone, leaving nothing, but unfamiliar coldness as he walked off. what the fuck was his problem.

"i should've known that he'd leave me again, why did i fucking come", you mumbled angrily. you really had every right to be angry at bellamy, but if you were being honest, you were probably way more disappointed than angered by the man who once loved you as much as you love him.

octavia looked at you confusedly, not being able to follow at all. "what do you mean again, you're y/n, his girlfriend y/n right?"

"i don't even know what i am to him anymore", you answered, feeling tears shoot up to your eyes. no, you couldn't cry about him anymore, you had wasted too many tears on his egoistic ass.

octavia's eyes softened, similarly to how bellamy's used to. she walked up to you and hugged you carefully, not wanting to disrespect your personal space beyond your liking. you hugged her back, appreciating her sympathy a lot and although you kinda didn't want to spend time with bellamy's younger sister, you didn't want to punish her for something out of her power. she had dealt with that too much already.

"my brother can be a real ass sometimes but he'll get over it, i think i know how much he loves you", she spoke softly, smiling at you. you smiled back at her but realized that she really had no clue how over the two of you were.

{ ~* }

days on days passed and not a single interaction between bellamy and you happened. you wanted to talk to him so desperately but whenever you approached him, he'd find a way to get away from you as soon as possible. it felt like you were back on the ark, trying to understand why your boyfriend of two years was suddenly ignoring and avoiding you.

you wanted to fight for his attention, you really tried to but when he set up a knife fight between john murphy and wells, you figured that you had to say goodbye to the idea of ever getting anything positive out of a conversation with him. the bellamy you once loved was probably gone for good and whatever egoistic, violent leader he had become now, was no one you wanted around you.

this time, you really had to get over him.

it honestly made you sick to watch him act like the born leader of the delinquents and it was almost worse to see them follow him blindly. he was leading them to do horrible things, he was clearly motivating their aggression and allowed them all to be terrible to each other.

of course you were angry, but it also confused you a lot. bellamy really terrified you, he was going down a path you couldn't follow and he wasn't anything like he used to be back in the ark, back when he was still your bellamy.

he used to be sweet, loving and caring but now it was so obvious that he was using the 100 delinquents to reach his own goal, you just couldn't figure out what goal that could be. another thing you were pretty confused about, was the fact he took you with him. when he begged you to come with him, he was so different. it almost felt like he loved you again, you were embarrassed to admit that you thought things would get better now, that everything would be like it was back then and you knew that you deserved better, no one, not even john murphy deserved to be treated like bellamy had treated you that past year. still, you just couldn't let him go, so you decided it was time for some distraction.

while you really enjoyed spending time with clarke, learning a bit from her medical knowledge, as well as simply making a new friend, you needed more. literally, you had no one besides bellamy, octavia and clarke and you didn't actually have any of them. you needed to make friends.

deciding to go against bellamy's orders to stay with clarke, something he hadn't told you personally, instead sending one of his little minions your way, you left the drop ship in search for something else to do. you weren't gonna let him tell you what to do, not if he didn't even have the balls to talk to you himself.

right as you left the dropship, you immediately spotted a tall boy with funny googles on his head walking towards one of the gates and decided to approach him. you remembered his name, joshua, or jasper.

"hey jasper", you smiled at him and he immediately smiled back. "hey y/n, i'm just heading out for the hunt."

you raised your eyebrow. hunt? that was perfect for you. not only did you ace pike's earth skills class, but you were also a trained guard. of all the people in your camp, it was safe to assume that you'd be the best at it.

"can i come too? i think i'd be a lot of help", you spoke nicely and without even thinking about it, jasper nodded. his smile grew as he was more than willing to spend some more time with you.

"i'm sure bellamy won't mind", he said and although you really didn't want to be around bellamy for once, it upset you even more that he couldn't even ask you to go with them. he knew just as well as you did that they needed you and that you were the best shot they had, probably even better than him since you actually finished your guard training.

you followed jasper out of the walls, stopping right outside as you joined the rest of the hunting trip. there were about seven unknown faces and of course bellamy’s. as soon as he saw you, he tensed up, leaving you to sigh annoyingly and roll your eyes.

"y/n get back inside the walls, it's not safe outside", he said, voice stern, motioning for you to turn around and go. you immediately shook your head.

"i'm gonna come with you guys, i'm literally your best shot and you won't even notice me, i'll be with jasper the entire time", you complained. he knew you wouldn't change your mind but he wouldn't risk your safety. bellamy trusted jasper but not with you, he trusted no one when it came to you. no one, not even yourself, would protect you as well as he would and although he had been avoiding you for days now, expecting to keep going until he knew you'd gotten over him completely, he had to be the one going with you.

"yea no, you're either coming with me or not at all, y/n. this is your first time outside the walls and i wanna make sure you find your way back home, alright?! however, if you don't want to go with me that's fine. stay back and help clarke then. got it?!", he was convinced he'd make you change your mind.

"fuck you, bellamy. really, let's just go already", you were angry. he was treating you like a complete stranger and you actually felt a bit embarrassed in front of the other people. what was he thinking talking to you like that in front of so many of the others, it was unnecessary.

he was caught by surprise by your response, less because of your words, but way more because you actually chose to come with them. he was so sure you would never want to be alone with him after all he had done but this just proved that it wasn't enough yet.

he should've known better than to expect you to just stop loving him that easily. hell, how could you get over him, if he couldn't even go a single hour without thinking about you.

"okay then", bellamy said before everyone split up and went into different directions. you followed him, making sure you stayed behind.

"you know damn well that i'd be a great help. should've gotten your shit together and asked me", you mumbled and although he heard what you said, he decided not to respond.

you two were walking for a pretty long time, killing some birds on your way. obviously that wouldn't be enough for the entire camp to eat so you kept going. there wasn't much talking done either, you were able to work together without speaking, you had always been able to.

of course it was awkward, but it went fine until a loud sound rang through the woods. bellamy turned to you immediately, eyes wide as he grabbed your wrist and started running. despite having never left the camp, you knew that this was an alarm to warn about the yellow fog that was incredibly toxic and even deadly.

the two of you ran as fast as you could until bellamy noticed something in the ground that looked like a door to a bunker. he immediately pushed you in front of him and told you to go in, following closely as he rushed to close the door before the fog could get you. bellamy turned on his flashlight while your breath was shaky as you put a hand up to your heart. your athleticism wasn't an issue, your anxiety however was.

"y/n, are you okay?", bellamy asked softly as approached you, reaching for your shoulder but before he could touch you, you backed away.

"bellamy stop, stop doing this", he looked at you with a questioning expression on his face. "you know what i mean."

he simply shook his head, lowering it before quietly saying "i'm sorry, y/n, but i really don't. i just wanna make sure you're okay."

you huffed, did he even believe his own words? you were annoyed by his obliviousness and slid down the wall, he did the same oppositely from you.

neither of you said anything for some time but with every minute that passed, you feared that he would leave the bunker at the first chance he'd get, ruining your only opportunity to have the conversation you've been wanting to have for almost a year now.

"look, bellamy.. i just don't understand how you could do what you did. you're confusing me", you explained quietly, not wanting to look at him yet.

"i know, i don't understand either", he spoke back and as your eyes met, you could tell he wasn't lying. "i was angry, angry at everyone, even you. and i know that it wasn't fair, i wasn't treating you how i should have but when i lost everything, i was ashamed. you deserved better than that and i knew you wouldn't just let me go."

"literally what were you thinking?! i was with you through any hardships you ever had to go through. what made you assume id just leave you, what made you think that after two years with you, i'd just abandon you. what for?! having a sister? i'm not the fucking council, you should know me better than that", you were angry but you didn't want to yell at him, you wanted this to work.

he sighed, he didn't know what to tell you. of course you were right, he fully agreed but what good would him agreeing do?

"talk to me, bellamy", you basically begged.

"i'm sorry, y/n. i have never regretted anything as much as breaking your heart. you were on my mind every single day", he said truthfully, not being able to look into your eyes as he spoke until he lifted his head. "if i could turn back time, i would. i am so sorry for ruining what we had."

you stared into his eyes, giving yourself time to think about what he just told you. you'd do anything to go back to how things were, you missed bellamy so much.

"me too", you then admitted. "you know, it would've been our three year anniversary a few days ago", you said and laughed slightly. bellamy smiled at you, oh how he had missed your laugh.

"i know", he said and reached into his pocket. "i didn't get you anything new and i know that i can't just regift something i already gave you years ago but i grabbed this when i asked you to come with me and i just.. didn't have time to give it to you yet."

you listened curiously, watching him pull out a silver necklace he once gave you. your mouth and eyes widened in excitement, it was your favourite piece of jewelry ever since you'd gotten it, but when you realized you didn't have it on you, you were sure you'd never see it again and it made you incredibly sad.

"oh my god, you took it with you? thank you so much, bellamy! i was missing it already", you admitted, excitement lacing your voice. he smiled again and handed you your necklace you put on immediately.

you smiled down at yourself, carefully grabbing the star charm.

"i missed seeing you like this, you are so beautiful, y/n", bellamy spoke quietly, you simply halted in your movement. your eyebrows were raised slightly as you looked at him, what was he doing?

"y/n, i know that i don't deserve your forgiveness, fuck, i don't even deserve you! but please, i'm begging you to forgive me for what i did. i don't expect it to be easy, but-"

"why did you ask me to come with you, bell?", you interrupted him. it took him a second before he chuckled and looked to the side, then focusing on you again.

"i spent so many months ignoring you, thinking i was making things so much better when i actually ruined us. i already told you that i thought about you every single day and i knew i wouldn't survive to go down here without you", he explained. "i know that it was incredibly selfish of me to bring you here and at first i didn't want to because i didn't want to expose you to all these dangers earth might bring. i wanted you to do better than me, that's why i distanced myself from you, but i was a fool to think this would work. the hold you have on me and my life is actually insane, y/n. when i had the opportunity to protect my sister and to take you down with me, i just-"

"wait, bellamy, why are you even here in the first place", you questioned. there was no way you wouldn't know about his mission but a janitor did.

his expression changed immediately, his jaw tensed and you could tell how scared he was to tell you, but he also didn't want to lie to you. not right now, not apart of this conversation.

"y/n, i messed up, okay.. i did things i regret and leaving you wasn't my only mistake, but i couldn't let my sister go to earth unprotected, alright? i had to make sure she was safe", he rambled immediately, panic lacing his voice. you on the other hand, only got more suspicious of him. "i shot chancellor jaha on shumway's request."

your eyes widened in shook, you couldn't believe what you just heard. "what, i-"

you wanted to be upset at him so bad but something in you couldn't. "is he.."

"i don't know, that was the goal", he answered quietly, not daring to look up.

"oh my god, bellamy! are you kidding me, you can't just shoot the chancellor, you can't shoot anybody actually!"

"y/n, i know, please. i know that i messed up but i can't change it anymore", he sighed before running his hand through his hair. by now, it was finally curly and loose again and you couldn't help but notice how good he looked. but that wasn't the point, not at all.

"do you though? you changed, bellamy. you have become someone i don't recognize, whats gotten into you?!", you got up from the ground, looking around helplessly. "first you shoot the chancellor and then you lead these kids in the aggressive way you do. do you even notice what you're creating?", at this point you were yelling, you didn't care anymore.

"y/n don't yell at me", he said but you just shook your head. he got up and approached you but you backed away like earlier.

"for fucks sake, stop telling me what to do! you're not my leader, if anything, you're my boyfriend, or ex boyfriend. hell, i don't even know what we are because you didn't have the fucking balls to actually break up with me before being an asshole. i have every right to yell at you", you hissed and you could see how much your words hurt him but bellamy wasn't gonna stay quiet this time.

"i never broke up with you because i didn't fucking want to. i didn't treat you like it but fuck, y/n i love you", he was raising his voice as well now.

"loved, you loved me, you don't anymore", you said and it seemed like this time, you went too far.

"shut the fuck up, y/n. don't say shit like that, don't disrespect me like that", he yelled at you, knowing full well that your disrespect wasn't even comparable to what he put you through. "don't accuse me of not loving you because i could never stop loving you. there wasn't a single day in the past five years where i didn't love you and you know that this is true, we both do!"

you bit your lip as you tried to calm yourself. the adrenaline was overwhelming at this point but still you somehow knew that he was right. you believed him.

"and you don't have to forgive me for what i did and for the way i'm leading these kids but you know damn well that i'd do anything for you and that i love you", his voice was softening again as he was calming down too. "and i know that you're not over me. you wouldn't have come with me, if you didn't love me at least a little bit."

you took a deep breath in, he was right. of course he was, but you couldn't just forgive and forget.

"y/n, baby, i'm not asking you to forget what i did, please don't. i just wanna know that i am right and that i still know you and most importantly; that i didn't ruin your life even more when i brought you down here", his voice got quieter and you could even hear it breaking towards the end of his sentence.

"yes, bellamy i still love you", you simply admitted, sad eyes meeting his right before he pulled you into his arms.

you didn't resist because you needed this, it was what you'd been seeking for all these months.

bellamy was relieved that you still loved him. he didn't expect everything to magically be amazing again but he knew that he hadn't lost you yet. he still had a chance for redemption and he was going to fix things. he was going to be a better man for you.

his strong arms were wrapped around you tightly, holding you against his chest as he also enjoyed feeling your touch again.

"i love you so much, y/n. i'll fix everything, okay? i will never hurt you ever again and we can work through this, if you want to. i missed you so much, baby", he said. his hand was now holding your cheek as he looked into your glossy eyes.

you nodded, believing him again.

you were hoping that he was saying the truth, that he would never mess it up again. you just wanted to love him again, but you weren't stupid, things, he would have to change first.

#bellamy blake #the 100 bellamy #bellamy x reader #the 100 #the 100 x reader #forced proximity #one shot #the 100 one shot #octavia blake #clarke griffin #jasper jordan #wells jaha #the 100 angst #bellamy angst #fluff #angst

377 notes · View notes

lookingforluna · 2 years

Text

Rotate || C. San

❥ Pairing: Choi San x Reader

❥ Word Count: 9.4k

❥ Rating: M

❥ Genre: strangers to lovers au, smut, non-idol au, fluff, humor

❥ Warnings: lots of smut, explicit language, unprotected sex, teasing, dirty talk, praise kink, San's mouth is filthy, jealous San, creampie, intercourse

❥ Summary: During a late-night ice cream run to the supermarket, you bump into a handsome guy with a green streak in his hair that claims to have met you at the club the weekend before. When you confess to not remembering him, he becomes determined to make sure you never forget him again.

❥ Moodboard: Edit 1

❥ Song Inspiration: Rotate (Clockwise) by Rak-Su

❥ A/N: This is my first ever ATEEZ fanfic, so much longer than originally planned. I recently joined the fandom 2-3 weeks ago, and I'm so excited to start writing. As you can tell, San is my bias, and this man makes me WEAK in the knees. I have so many fics planned, so please support me! I hope you guys like this one! Can't wait to make new ATINY friends <3

Hmm, should you try one of the new flavors? Usually, you stick to buying the mango-flavored mochi ice cream, but today there was a new arrangement of flavors on display. Green Tea, Red Bean, Strawberry, Vanilla, and Mint Chocolate Chip.

“I recommend the mint chocolate chip. It’s one of my favorites.” A soft voice interrupts your thought process, causing you to turn around only to see an incredibly attractive guy standing behind you.

You couldn’t help but feel a little awkward, not used to handsome guys just walking up and talking to you. If anything, they didn’t really look your way, and if they did, they never approached you.

“Oh well, thank you for the suggestion,” you shyly smile, giving a slight head nod before turning around. Your fingers trail over the mint chocolate chip package, seriously considering it. Mint chocolate chip wasn’t exactly your favorite, but you weren’t against it.

“Don’t you remember me?”

The question catches you off guard as you stare at him, trying to organize your thoughts. You were certain you would remember this man from just the bright green streak in his hair, but you couldn’t place him.

The more you gaze at his face, the more his features remind you of a fox. His face shape is very defined, and his jawline is so intense. God certainly took his time with this creation. For some reason, you couldn’t move away from his eyes and how they remained fixed on your own.

“I’m sorry, I don’t. Should I?”

You honestly wanted to curse yourself at this moment as his eyes flitted over your frame. The thought of dressing up as you did a quick run to the supermarket didn’t cross your mind. It was late at night, and you just wanted something cool to help with the boiling summer heat. That meant running out of the house in a slightly cropped white t-shirt and short black biker shorts.

This night would always be stuck in the back of your head forever. The words your father always told you about looking presentable in public suddenly entered your mind, and of course, you should’ve listened to his advice.

“I’m San. We danced together in the club last weekend,” he says, as the tip of his tongue does a quick swipe across his pink lips.

That simple motion was enough to make your knees buckle, but you must keep it together. Thinking back to that night, your close friend Jackson had you taking long shots straight from a Hennessey bottle. The only reason you couldn't remember him is probably cause you were drunk off your ass.

He doesn’t need to know that.

Truth is, San caused something to stir in your stomach. It had been such a long time since a guy actually gave you attention like this, and he was breathtakingly beautiful. He was far from the guys you typically went after, and maybe that’s a good thing.

The last thing you want is to seem desperate, though the only way to avoid that is to seem uninterested. Or at least seem hard to get.

“I’m sorry, your name doesn’t ring a bell. I danced with many people that night,” you explain, sounding calm and confident. The original reason you entered the supermarket returns to your mind, and you focus on the shelves again, your body turning away from him.

From the corner of your eye, San straightens his posture, not expecting that answer from you at all. He knew you wouldn’t have been alone at the club. Of course, you would have caught the eyes of many guys, but he was certain you would’ve remembered him at least.

“I guess you weren’t that memorable,” you finish, settling on the mint chocolate chip mochi box.

As you turn around, ready to leave, your breath hitches at San’s tall frame looming over you. His eyes are different from before. Instead of the bright wide doe-eyed guy from earlier, his eyes are darker, more intense, and slightly narrowed. You hadn’t realized how tall he was before, but here you were, craning your neck to look up at him.

His plush lips part when suddenly a familiar voice breaks the heated staredown.

“Woah, Y/N! I see you’ve met San!”

An energetic Wooyoung makes his way to San, followed by Hongjoong, hands full of different chips and snacks. San’s eyes flicker between you and the guys when suddenly something registers in his mind. Wooyoung drapes an arm over San’s shoulder, pulling him close and creating some distance between the two of you.

“You guys know each other?” San beats you to ask the question. It certainly was a small world, after all.

Wooyoung laughs while patting San on the chest before looking at you, “This is our childhood best friend we kept telling you about. He just moved to the city.”

What were the chances you would run into the guy you had heard countless stories about almost every day?

“So this is the best friend you guys talk about every time we hang out?” You do a quick once over of him, matching his image to the third friend in the stories you always wondered about.

“Well, it looks like I am memorable after all,” San slightly smirks as his eyes focus on yours, widening, and cheeks lightly flushing.

“Are we missing something?” Hongjoong asks as he stands next to you, him and Wooyoung exchanging glances.

“It’s nothing important,” you quickly reply, earning a slight scoff from San as he runs his fingers through his black hair, muscles flexing from the motion.

Hongjoong organizes the snacks in his hands as he turns to look at you.

“Are you busy tonight? You should come out with us.”

Wooyoung’s loud laughter causes a couple a few feet away to pause and stare before returning to their shopping.

“Y/N busy? Do you see what she’s wearing? You’re having one of your depressing movie nights, aren’t you?”

Wooyoung motions to the box of ice cream in your hand before shaking his head in laughter. Of course, you were so predictable. He and Hongjoong knew you like the back of their hands. Your routine on Saturday nights was usually the same if you weren’t with them or other friends.

“They aren’t depressing! You just don’t have taste,” you exclaim, crossing your arms and glaring at him, a small pout appearing on your face.

“No, I have to agree. Watching The Notebook and Dear John on a Saturday night is depressing,” Hongjoong agrees while squishing you against his side in a comforting hug.

San stands there watching the little conversation between the three of you in silence. He could see why Hongjoong and Wooyoung would be close friends with you. In a way, you reminded him of himself.

Back home, he would usually stay in on the weekends and hang out in front of the TV, preferring to be alone. Since moving to the new city, though, he wanted to break those old habits, so he agreed to go out with the guys tonight.

“Fine, I’ll go out with you guys tonight, but on one condition,” you say, breaking San away from his thoughts as he glances down at your small self.

“What is it?” Hongjoong asks, his eyes lighting up at the thought of you finally going to the club with them.

“Wooyoung’s buying my ice cream,” you say, tossing the box into his hand with a grin before walking ahead of them, a small giggle leaving your lips.

“Ya! I’m always buying your ice cream, I swear!” Wooyoung shouts jokingly as he follows behind you, happy you agreed to their plans.

Hongjoong catches up to them, San trailing behind as he watches how your hips sway with each step. A smile breaks across his lips as he thinks of you, realizing that he enjoys your feistiness more than he expected.

“Wooyoung, I don’t know how I feel about this dress,” you nervously express while pivoting back and forth in front of the mirror.

It was far from anything you had ever worn out to the club. The dress was bought sometime last summer while on a trip with a few close friends of yours. They had convinced you to buy it, exclaiming that it was about time you stepped out of your comfort zone.

The last thing you expected was for Wooyoung to pull it out from the depths of your closet and toss it on the bed, a pair of matching sparkly black heels beside it. You tend to stray away from sparkly short dresses, but this one caught your attention because of the beautiful strappy back.

The self-conscious feeling begins to rise at the idea of forgoing a bra. You always wore bras in every dress you bought, but the intricate back of this one made it impossible.

“Oh, come on! I’ve never seen you in something like this! You look banging too!” He shouts while motioning to your figure as if presenting you to an audience.

Well… maybe you could wear it out. The dress was bound to come out of the closet at some point, and Wooyoung was the only one who could convince you to wear it. You had let your hair down in loose curls and decided to keep your makeup simple. You did your regular face routine with the addition of some eyelashes, winged eyeliner, and of course, a bold red lip.

While you were busy studying yourself in the mirror, you hadn’t noticed that Wooyoung had left the room, heading out to call for a ride to the club.

Instead, standing in his place against your bedroom door stood San, his brown eyes scanning over your body multiple times before settling on your face. He was certain you were trying to put him into a trance. He couldn’t figure out where to look, completely captivated by you.

“Wooyoung, I’m not sure about this. I’ve never worn anything like this. Some guys can get touchy in the club, and I don’t want to start any problems,” you huff out a little disappointed before turning around.

You almost stumble a little, completely unaware of the moment San entered your room. He was leaning against the door, arms crossed and noticeable beneath the fitted black dress shirt he wore, the first two buttons opened and exposing his chest. The black skinny jeans he wore pressed against his legs a little too perfect as he straightened himself.

“You look stunning in that,” he says, his voice suddenly sounding deeper than before.

It’s hard to swallow as you look at him, trying to avoid eye contact but hopelessly failing. He has siren eyes; you're sure of it. The man might even be a siren himself or some damn mythical creature. That might not even be the right word to describe him, but all you know is that it becomes hard to breathe every time he’s near.

“T-thank you,” you manage to stutter out, nerves on complete display for him. His light chuckle warms your heart as he steps towards you, eyes locked on your own.

Your fingers fumble with the short fabric at the end of your dress, lightly biting down on your bottom lip before releasing it.

“I'm not sure. I know how guys are at the club. I don’t want to get into any problems,” you nervously explain to San, his head tilting to hear your concern.

His brows furrow in confusion, and you’re sure he hadn’t thought about that. Maybe he would agree that you should change out of the short dress and put on something else.

“That’s not an issue. Wear the dress. I can fight,” he softly breathes, the look on his face absolutely serious and firm. This was when you were sure your knees would buckle from that sentence and look alone.

Luckily before you can reply, Hoongjoong enters the room, announcing that the ride is 5 minutes away. You stumble back a little, caught off guard by Hongjoong and aware of the proximity between you and San.

Before you can fall back, San’s strong hand wraps around your wrist, tugging you forth and right into his chest. A soft floral and sweet scent enters your senses, and all you want to do is bury yourself there.

“Ya! Y/N, you’re so clumsy. Let’s go,” Wooyoung shouts, dragging you away from San before looking back and shooting his friend a wink.

San stands there in shock, not expecting Wooyoung to pick up on his interest in you. He thought he was doing well keeping it a secret, but clearly not well enough if Wooyoung noticed.

I just wanna see you rotate, both ways

I just wanna see you rotate, slowly

The music booms loudly in your ears as the bass thunders in your chest, and your favorite song begins. The club was becoming more and more crowded as the minutes went by. The four of you had been here about a little over an hour, and the vibes were only getting better.

“This is my song! Let me show you!”

Your voice is barely heard over the sound of the music as you shout to Hongjoong, your hands in the air and hips swaying to the rhythm. Wooyoung had disappeared some time ago, most likely looking for some girl to take home.

The last time you saw San, he was sitting at the bar, a few girls immediately flocking towards him. Of course, it made you feel some type of way, the way he smiled at them, but the two of you aren’t together.

He’s single.

And so are you.

“Oooo, wait, take this shot first and let me see!” Hongjoong yells as he pushes what’s probably your fifth tequila shot of the night into your hands, quickly downing his own. Taking a deep breath, your head tilts as the cool liquid slides down your throat, the burn immediately settling in your stomach as a new wave of confidence takes over.

Your hands glide up and down your arms as the rhythm and lyrics take over your body. The flashing blue and green laser lights of the nightclub gave you an adrenaline rush, your skin heating up from the shot and other bodies brushing up against you.

Hongjoong disappears from your sight for a few seconds before he reappears, tugging your wrist towards the bar.

Mingi, the tall and buff bartender you became quick acquaintances with due to your many appearances at his club, sent a wink your way before he tapped the counter twice. Confusion settles onto your face as your head tilts to the side, Hongjoong pulling you next to him.

“Only for you! Just this once!”

Mingi shouts before his hands rest on your waist, and you’re hoisted up until your heels touch the flat surface of the counter. Your heart stammers at the realization that they want you to dance on the bar. Cheers and shouts erupt around you as people start to notice.

One time, let me put it 'pon ya

Two times, let me put it 'pon ya

The nerves slowly vanish as you feel the music, your hips ticking side to side as more people corner around the bar. The attention you’re feeling only empowers you even more as you lean forward, arching your back and moving your waist in a slow wine.

Three times I try, you caught my eye

You know what's on my mind

You glance around at the crowd, drowning in the attention and feeling of so many eyes amazed by you. When you make contact with those familiar, dark, and slightly narrowed eyes, your breath falters a little. San sits at the end of the bar, body leaning back against the chair as he tracks your every turn, dip, and bend.

“Wooo, you look hot, Y/N,” Wooyoung shouts as he appears behind San, hand resting on his shoulder. Wooyoung raises his shot in the air to you before sending it back down his awaiting mouth.

Why you acting so shy?

Come and take the spotlight

Gracefully and in time with the beat, you dance towards the end of the bar, very aware of the girls sitting on each side of San, watching you with bitter stares. Just as your favorite part of the song plays, you drop low in front of him, aware of how high your dress rises, barely covering your ass.

Baby, make your body go clockwise, anti-clockwise

The alcohol floods your veins as Hongjoong, Wooyoung, Mingi, and the screams of other people sound in your ear. Your fingers fasten in the top of your hair as your hips twist in circles, fingers moving to caress down your arms, putting on a sexy show for one man in particular.

San licks his lips, one eyebrow lifting as his eyes take in every inch of your body, your ass on display for him, and god was he blessed. Never had he ever received a dance from a girl in all of his years of dancing, and from the way, you were gazing at him, he knew this was his first.

As the song comes to a slow finish and the next one starts, Mingi helps you down the bar, and you make your way towards the three guys you entered the club with.

Wooyoung and Hongjoong pull you in between them, squishing you against their warm bodies as they hug you close.

“I have never seen you dance like that,” Hongjoong shouts as he looks at you in complete awe.

“Wow, I’m surprised you’re not a dancer with smooth movements like those,” San says before taking a sip from the glass in his hand.

“See, that’s a huge compliment coming from a dancer like San!”

Hongjoong smiles as he looks between the two of you. You knew from the countless stories Wooyoung told that he was a pretty well-known backup dancer, but you hadn’t realized he was that good, and your cheeks began to heat up.

“This was all my doing,” Wooyoung says as he looks at you, “I knew the dress would bring out a different side of you that you’ve been hiding!”

A soft smile settles across your face as you realize he’s right. There’s no way you would’ve been bold enough to dance like that on the bar in a different dress. With all their eyes on you and no idea what to say, you thought of the one thing that would make you feel more relaxed.

“How about another round of shots?!” You begin to walk away and head towards Mingi on the other side of the bar without waiting for a reply when Hongjoong’s hands suddenly shoot onto your shoulders.

“Woah, we just had a shot less than 10 minutes ago.”

Hongjoong was right about that, but taking a shot might ease your nerves around San. He wouldn’t stop looking at you with that intense stare as he sips his drink. You had no idea what he was drinking, but if you had to guess, maybe it was vodka.

“Yea, wait here. I’m gonna get you water instead,” Wooyoung shouts over the loud music before ruffling your hair a little and heading towards the busy bartender.

“Water? Are you guys serious? I’m not even drunk,” You pout, looking at Hongjoong with wide eyes while wrapping your arms around his neck.

He tries so hard to hold his laugh in but fails and just shakes his head at you. His soft hands reach up to unclasp yours from his neck, looking over at San as he speaks.

“Please watch her. She’s had her fun for the night. I’m gonna call for a ride to take her home,” Hongjoong explains.

San sends a smile his way, assuring him not to worry about you. Now that Hongjoong leaves, reality sinks in. You’re stuck here with San watching you. All you want to do is disappear into the crowd of people, and that’s exactly what the voice in your head tells you to do.

Just as you get about five feet away and into the crowd, a really tight grip encircles your hips, pulling your hips flush against a firm body. The hardness against your back is the first thing you notice, and you’re in shock.

Before you even turn around, the presence behind you fades as if it was in your imagination. The hardness was there one second and gone within half a second.

“Touch her again, and I’ll break your fucking hands.”

The low and threatening voice is the first thing you notice as your eyes land on a fuming San. His jaw clenches as he fists the shirt of some guy clearly drunk off his ass, now looking like a deer in headlights. The guy raises both hands in surrender as he mumbles out a jumble of words before San lets him go, and he takes off.

Standing there, you’re unsure what to do. Maybe you should thank him, but you didn’t ask him to do that. You didn’t need him to protect you, but he still did it. He’s still pissed. You can tell from the way he stands there, still looking in the direction of the guy, shoulders tense and jaw clenched.

A deep breath exits his mouth as he turns around to look at you, his face immediately relaxing as his brown eyes meet yours. You swallow, mouth feeling dry as he slowly walks over to you, head tilting as he studies your face. One of his ring-clad fingers ghosts over your cheek before tucking a stray curl behind your ear.

“Are you okay?” San asks as his eyes soften.

Out of all the expressions you had seen from him, this was a first. You didn’t think it was possible for him to show concern since he was always looking at you with those narrowed eyes. All you can do is nod, not able to trust your voice because of the way he’s looking at you.

“It’s because of this dress. Some bastards can’t keep their hands to themselves,” he says while glancing around you before pulling you closer. His hand was comfortably resting on your lower back, the heat from his palm warming up your skin and making it hard to breathe.

“What? You told me to wear the dress in the first place,” you complain, suddenly feeling disappointment fill your head at the thought of him not liking the dress.

As if reading your thoughts, he pushes his tongue into his cheek before sucking his teeth. He noticed how quickly your face had fallen and couldn’t stand seeing you like that.

“I did tell you to wear it. I love the way you look too,” he says, voice more serious as he glances down at you.

“I just don’t like anyone else enjoying the same view as me,” he whispers, tongue wetting his lips as he sucks it into his mouth.

The change in your breathing doesn’t go unnoticed by him as he slowly leans in closer, your senses overtaken by that same soft floral, sweet scent you associated him with. San’s grip on your waist tightens, and you can feel his minty breath wash over your face as he gets closer.

“There you two are!” Wooyoung’s shout makes the two of you jump apart quickly, your friend grinning like a Chesire cat because of the position he had caught you two in.

“Here’s your water, Y/N. Hongjoong was looking for you guys. The ride is gonna be here soon,” he explains as you down the water, the ice coldness soothing your throat and taking away some of the heat you had been feeling.

Wooyoung stands there, eyes flickering between you and San as he shakes his head and slaps him on the back, a chuckle leaving his throat.

“We should go meet Hongjoong,” San shouts over the loud music, unsure how to make things less awkward for you now that Wooyoung had almost seen the two of you kiss.

You nod in agreement, still chugging the water down as the two of them follow closely behind you. Little did you know that the two of them were playfully pushing each other around, Wooyoung excited about the thought of you and San together.

“Damn, where the hell did Wooyoung go?” Hongjoong groans as he looks around the front of the building used to this happening. He was always taking on the parent role in the group even if he didn’t want to.

“I thought you saw him sneak back into the club with that blonde girl,” San comments while shrugging his shoulders, clearly not concerned with his friend’s whereabouts.

You stifle a laugh as Hongjoong throws his head back, sweat trickling down the side of his forehead from his constant running around before he once again enters the nightclub.

“Wait here for the ride,” he orders, giving you both one last look before entering the swarm of bodies.

Right as he enters the building, two girls walk out, giggles erupting from their lips but suddenly becoming serious as they traipse over to San leaning against the brick exterior. You recognize them as the two girls that were sitting around him earlier in the club.

“What are you waiting here for? You can come home with us,” One of the girls giggles while trailing the tips of her fingers across the top of his exposed chest. The way she looked up at him with giant doll eyes made you want to throw up all the shots you had downed.

“Yea, we can show you a very good time,” the slightly shorter friend smiles as she squeezes his bicep and earns a soft chuckle from him.

You were pissed at Wooyoung and Hongjoong for leaving you with him. The last thing you wanted was to watch these two girls drool all over him. The worst part about it is that he was actually entertaining them, chuckling and tilting his lips as his eyes flicker back and forth between the two.

“Fuck this,” you mutter to yourself, head fuming at what you were witnessing.

It’s been almost 10 minutes since you’ve been waiting for the damn ride and you were done waiting. The cool breeze helps calm your emotions as you begin the walk back to your apartment. This area's streets are pretty noisy, with other people entering and leaving the different strings of clubs up and down the block.

You don’t even glance back to see if San notices you walking away. Truthfully, you didn’t think he would care, and why would he? He was occupied with not one but two girls! Pain shoots through your feet as the aftermath of wearing heels for so long finally begins to settle. Your apartment is only a 10-minute walk away; if you power through the pain, you can make it.

“Y/N, is that you?” The voice causes you to halt in your tracks, turning to notice a very happy and smiling Seonghwa entering your line of sight.

“Oh my gosh, Hwa! It’s so nice to see you!” Excitement runs through your veins, replacing the bitter emotions from before. It was nice to see a familiar face and one that was like family at that.

“Damn, you went to the club like that? Let me see you do a spin,” he grins, holding out his hand for you to grab onto.

Giggles erupt from your lips as you twirl for him, the club's neon blue and green lights swirling in your vision. He lets out a low whistle that has your mood soaring through the roof and a wide smile spreading across your face.

“Were you at the club with your friends?” You ask him as he stops spinning you, his hands resting on your hips.

He looks back towards the entryway of the other club, replying, “Yea, I was out with Yeosang, Yunho, and Jongho. I’m leaving now, though. I’ve had my fun. Do you need a ride home?”

Someone must have been watching over you because you swear Seonghwa was an angel sent in a time of need when you needed help the most. He grins widely, noting the relief that washes over your face from his offer.

“Yes, please! My feet are killing me, Hongjoong is still looking for Wooyoung in the club, and San is busy with some girls,” you ramble on, voice coming out slower and softer towards the end.

“San,” Seonghwa states instead of questioning, and you’re confused for a second until you feel a firm pressure on your hips, Seonghwa’s hands falling and being replaced with tighter ones.

“Yes, that’s my name.” A shiver runs down your spine as his cool breath hits your neck, your body tensing from his closeness.

Turning around in his arms and away from his body, his warmth immediately leaves you. A frown fixes on his lips from your reaction, but it passes as he looks at Seonghwa, eyes narrowing.

“What are you doing here?” You ask him, feeling irritated with the way he glares at Seonghwa. His brown eyes shift to your face, brows pulling together as he speaks.

“I was in the middle of a conversation, and when I looked up, you were gone. I saw you turn the corner and followed you. I was worried,” he explains, voice low as he runs through everything in his mind.

The concern in his voice has you softening for a minute, and warmth fills your heart as you realize he came looking for you. Then within a second, it disappears again as he looks at Hwa with that same glare as before.

“We should get going. Our ride is waiting,” he says, dark eyes unwavering from Hwa.

“I’m good. You can go ahead. Seonghwa is going to take me home,” you state. You don’t back down even when San’s dark eyes stare into your soul. Anyone walking by could easily tell he was pissed off from the look on his face alone.

“You’re leaving with me,” he says even more firmly than before. His body inching forward to grab you when suddenly Hwa steps in front of you, clearly finding amusement in San’s reactions.

“She doesn’t want to leave with you. I’ll take her home.”

The last thing you wanted was to see the two of them having a damn dominance contest. You didn’t come to the club to deal with this. It was supposed to be a night of just fun with friends, and now these two were having a pissing contest.

“She came with me. She’s leaving with me,” San grits out, jaw clenching and face getting closer to Seonghwa with each word.

“Listen,” you shout, stepping in front of Seonghwa and placing your hands on San’s chest to push him back a little.

“I’m leaving with Seonghwa. You were so busy earlier that you didn’t even notice me leaving. You can go have fun with your girls. No need for you to take me home.”

You turn away from him, grabbing onto Seonghwa’s wrist as you lead him to the parking lot. Sure, you felt a little bad, but you didn’t like how he wanted your attention one minute and then was busy with another girl elsewhere the next. You have every right to make your own choices, it wasn’t like the two of you were together.

San’s eyes widen in shock as he processes the words that leave your mouth. He didn’t think you would fight him on this. In fact, he thought you would just give in to avoid any more conflict. He feels like shit as he watches you walk away with Seonghwa.

It was true that he was busy talking to those girls, but they wouldn’t leave him alone. He didn’t want to be rude and tell them to stop talking or just walk away from them. He let them continue their words, letting out some awkward chuckles here and there, but the truth is he didn’t even pay attention to the conversation.

He thought you would turn back, return to him and wait for the ride. It wasn’t until you turned the corner that he realized he fucked up. He sprinted from those girls, not caring to apologize or explain as he ran in search of you.

He thought going after you would make things better, but it just seemed to make things worse, and watching you leave with another guy made him feel something he hadn’t felt in a long time.

Jealous.

It’s about midnight when you finally slump against the couch after saying bye to Seonghwa. Once you reached home, the dress was immediately off your body and replaced with a soft silk black robe.

The heels are neatly placed in your closet, and the only thing remaining is your makeup. The major downside of going out so late at night is removing all of your makeup, especially the eyelashes.

Scrolling through your phone, you send a quick text to Hongjoong and Wooyoung, letting both of them know you got home safely and that Seonghwa gave you a ride. You don’t expect a text from them, certain they’re still at the club or just leaving.

As you look out the window, you’re happy you left the club when you did. It started drizzling when Seonghwa dropped you off, and now it was pouring. Throwing your phone onto the couch, you decide to go take off your makeup when a knock on your door halts your steps.

Glancing at the clock, you wonder who could be knocking at your door at this hour. Assuming it’s most likely Wooyoung or Hongjoon deciding to crash at your place, you swing the door open without a second thought.

The last thing you expect to find is San soaking wet from the rain, clothes dripping wet, hair stuck to his face, and breathing heavily.

He glances at you, noticing the black robe wrapped tightly around your frame, before pushing himself into your apartment. You shut the door, eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

“Where is he?” His chest is moving up and down at a fast and steady pace as he tries to walk by you, his eyes franticly searching all around your apartment.

“Woah, did you run here, San?” You ask, blocking his path as you tug on the side of his black shirt. It was the only thought that came to mind when you noticed how out of breath he was. It had only just started pouring a few minutes ago too.

“Where the hell is he, Y/N? Is he in your room?”

San asks as he begins walking towards your bedroom, a water trail following him. Your hands push against his chest, stopping him before he can even enter the hallway, keeping him in the kitchen and living room area.

“Stop it! You’re dripping water everywhere, San!”

You shout, becoming upset with the mess that he’s creating in your apartment. Cleanliness is one of the most important things you value. Having things in order is always important to you, and with the mess San is causing on all of your floors, you’re about to pull out his and your hair.

San looks down at your hands pressing flat against his chest, his own cold hands wrapping around both of your wrists as he looks you straight in the eyes.

“Answer my damn question, Y/N! Is he here? Was he her-” His eyes are completely dark and fuming as he stares at you, trying to stop himself from imagining you and that punk together.

“Why the hell does it matter?”

You yell, cutting him off and preventing him from finishing his sentence because his actions are so uncalled for.

It was none of his business if Seonghwa was at your place. Taking a step back, you try to tug your wrists from his grasp, only for him to pull you closer, your chin now touching his chest.

“If you interrupt me one more time, Y/N– so help me, god.”

“As if I’m gonna listen to you. Please, what are you gonn- ”

Before you can even finish the sentence, your back is against the front door, San’s drenched body pushing against yours and wetting your robe.

“I’ll show you what I can do about it, but first,” he pauses, his forehead against yours, eyes closed as he takes a deep breath before opening them again and focusing on your eyes.

“I need to know. Were you with him?” The way San asks the question makes your frustration fade away. His voice is soft and almost shaky, as if he’s afraid to hear the answer, but he needs to know.

“I wasn’t with him. Nothing has ever happened between us, and it never will. I don’t think his boyfriend would be too happy, honestly,” you carefully explain and watch as San’s eyes widen in realization. You can visibly see his shoulders relax as he lets out a breath he had been holding.

“But why were you bothered by him so much?”

The question tumbles out of your mouth so quickly before you can even process it. It had been on your mind the entire ride back home with Seonghwa, but you weren’t planning to bring it up at all.

It was hard to read San. At first, you thought he might actually be interested in you, but then the next minute, when other girls were around, it was as if you didn’t exist.

“Because you were with him and not me.”

He leans back a little, his arms by the side of your face still trapping you between his body, but now you could see him entirely. A fake chuckle is all you can do to express how you feel, and from the look of surprise on his face, he wasn’t expecting that.

“It didn’t seem like you needed me. You had enough girls to occupy you,” you mockingly reply, catching him slightly flinch from your harsh but true words.

A loud sigh passes through his pink lips as he fists a hand through his wet hair, tugging at the strands in frustration.

“Fuck… I was trying to stay away from you because you’re friends with Wooyoung and Hongjoong. I was trying to distract myself because I don’t want to fuck things up,” he explains slowly, thinking about his words carefully.

His eyes remain on yours the entire time he speaks, and you know it’s the truth as you get lost in his dark eyes and his soft, honey voice.

“Then why did you come here?” The question comes out barely above a whisper, almost unheard because of the pouring rain.

“Because I can’t stop thinking about you since the first night we met. I know you don’t remember, but I do, and I keep remembering it. I’ve been thinking about you all day, and then I ran into you at the store,” San says as he reaches up to gently caress your cheek with his thumb, not imagining that this moment was actually happening.

A small smile touches his lips as he notices how your eyes close and you lean into him.

“I thought it was just a coincidence at first. I’m not someone who believes in fate, but everything changed for me when I found out Wooyoung and Hongjoong knew you too. No one has ever affected me this much. I just can’t get enough of you,” San breathes out his confession, relieved that it’s all out there but unsure of what happens now.

You’re unsure about your feelings for him as you stare at him. You know you have some, but he’s right. Both of you are friends with Wooyoung and Hongjoong, and there’s a risk to the friendship there. If things end badly between you, that could damage many friendships and complicate things.

San starts to feel a little uneasy at your silence. He didn’t expect you to accept his feelings and say you love him, but he expected you to say something at least, even if you rejected him.

Regarding relationships, you were never one to jump into things. You never did one-night stands and considered yourself as someone who prefers long-term relationships.

But as you look at San standing before you and confessing that he hasn’t stopped thinking about you for a second, all of that logic goes out the window and into the storm. You were always thinking with your head; for once, you wanted to let your heart win.

“How badly do you want me?” You quietly ask, looking up at him through your eyelashes.

A groan escapes San’s lips as his tongue wets the surface, “So fucking bad. If it meant giving up dancing to be with you, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Without any regrets.”

You stare up at the man before you, his hand reaching up, gripping your jaw tightly, his silver rings feeling cold against the warm skin of your cheek. His thumb slowly brushes over your bottom lip, admiring the lust swimming in your eyes and the red flush settling onto your cheeks.

Without thinking, you part your lips and slowly wrap them around his thumb, feeling satisfied as the digit starts to sink further into your mouth.

“Fuck, Y/N,” San groans, his eyes hooded in desire, as he pulls his thumb from your mouth, biting his lips as he notices the clear trail of saliva connected to it.

“Kiss me, San.”

That’s all it takes for San to let go and smash his lips onto yours. He kisses softly yet passionately as if he’s trying to get lost in you. He wants to memorize every single curve of your lips and each inch of your mouth as his fingers grip your hips tightly.

It feels as if every inch of your body is on fire, your hands gripping his shirt as you pull him tightly against you. You want more of him. It feels like you’re drowning in his smell, touch, and taste. His fingers draw small circles against your hips over your robe, and the realization of how little clothing you have on hits you.

San lightly teases his tongue against your lips, a smile splitting onto his face as you easily grant him access. His tongue explores your mouth, lightly flicking against your own tongue a few times, giving him complete control.

“Fuck. This is a one-time thing, right?” You manage to say against his lips feeling breathless.

It’s supposed to be a firm statement, but it comes out more like a question. San makes it incredibly hard to think straight when his lips are pressing against yours so rough and hungry. He breaks away from the kiss to talk for a second before continuing his actions.

“You know that’s a lie,” he murmurs while peppering kisses along your jawline and down to your neck, teeth biting the skin there but not deep enough to break this skin.

“This might be the first time, but it definitely won’t be the last,” he says against your neck, leaving small hickeys as he continues down to the top of your robe. His flick up to yours, heat swirling in them, gaze darkening and eyes hooded.

“Don’t give me that look,” you whine out, aware of the wetness gathering between your thighs from just his stare alone.

San chuckles against your chest, his warm breath hitting the slightly exposed skin there.

“What’s the matter, Y/N? Do you get nervous when I look at you like this?” The smirk on his face is disgustingly sexy, and you can’t argue with him. He knows exactly how to use his expressions to his advantage, leaving you in a mess before him.

With a soft thud, your head leans against the wall as you avoid eye contact with him. His stare wasn’t equivalent to a siren. You were wrong to think that before. He had the eyes of a demon, dark and waiting to devour you.

“Don’t be shy now. Where’s the feisty girl from earlier?”

He mumbles against your chest, purposely avoiding the deep neckline of your robe that reveals some cleavage. His lips leave delicate kisses across your chest, his hands wrapping around your thighs and hosting you up against him.

Pride fills him as you let out a loud and needy whine, pulling his head tightly against your chest as he swiftly kicks his shoes off before entering your bedroom.

San tosses you onto the bed, mesmerized by the way your hair spread out around you in a perfect halo, as the robe comes undone, both sides falling open and exposing your smooth skin.

His teeth immediately sinks into his bottom lip, trying to digest that this was happening. You were here, spread out and so needy for him. Willing to let him touch you in ways you could only dream about.

“Please touch me, San,” you beg, moving to sit up only to halt your actions, San shaking his head and telling you not to move.

“God, I love when you say my name,” he groans, fingers making quick work of his black buttoned-down shirt and jeans, the clothing left in a pile at the front of your door.

He can’t keep calm as he takes in every uncovered inch of your skin, from the perfect curve of your breasts and hardened nipples to the red panties he had been picturing all night.

The image was stuck in his head from the moment you flashed him in the club during your dance. He didn’t know if it was intentional or not as you dropped in front of him, legs spread at an angle so only he could see between, but thank god you did.

He carefully drops onto his knees, head dipping low as he presses gentle kisses up your feet, ankles, legs, and thighs until he reaches your center.

“San, please just fuck me. I can’t wait any longer,” you moan, fingers weaving into his hair as you pull him up, his eyes rolling back from your neediness.

“Guess I’ll have to wait until next time to taste you,” he chuckles against your lips, the comment a small reminder that this wouldn’t be the last time.

You want to tell him not to get his hopes up, but the whiny “just fuck me” is all the confirmation he needs. If he made you feel like this, you would never let him leave your apartment.

There’s a scraping of teeth, and a battle of tongues as both of your fingers work to remove the remaining fabric on your bodies. San draws back to look at you, a low “fuck” passing his lips as his mouth latches onto your breast, pulling the flesh into his mouth and moaning loudly. His fingers play with your other breast, pulling and twisting at the nipple before giving it the same attention with his mouth.

You can feel his dick, heavy and hard, slip between your thighs and slowly drag against your wet folds. He pauses his sucking and breathlessly says, “Condom?”

As much as you know you shouldn’t, you shake your head. You’re on the pill but don’t know if San has been with anyone else. You also didn’t have any condoms around, not having an actual sex life, but you were certain San carried one with him.

“I want to feel you. I want you inside of me now,” you moan out, pulling San back to your lips as his hands position your legs around his hips.

San is certain he just died and went to heaven. Not only did you want to have sex with him, but you wanted him to fuck you raw. Truth is, he didn’t prepare for this to happen. He didn’t carry condoms with him like most guys because he wasn’t out looking for sex.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you,” San breathes out as he stares into your eyes, the tip of his dick leaking precum as he pushes through your folds, breaching your entrance.

You feel intoxicated by his touch, the pink head of his dick stretching your walls as the smell of his heavenly cologne overflows around you.

You push your hips down, grinding yourself against his length, taking him in another inch as pleasure washes over the both of you. San licks his lips, eyes glued to where your bodies join, enjoying how he fits so snugly.

“Fuck, you’re so big,” you manage to breathe out, continuously clenching as San finally bottoms out completely inside of you. His breathing is just as heavy as yours, experiencing this for the first time. He had never had sex with anyone like this before, and every feeling was magnified.

“You feel so good, baby,” San grunts as he carefully moves his hips back and forth, swearing each time you clench around him.

His hips pick up pace as your moans encourage him, sweat dripping down the side of his forehead as he holds himself up by the forearms, taking in your fucked out expression.

He admires you, your body relaxed and covered in his marks and sweat. In his mind, you looked like a work of art, and he was the proud painter perfecting each brush stroke until you were no longer the clean blank canvas as before. He was determined to leave you a mess, so you would be reminded of his presence in this room even when he wasn’t there.

The sound of his dick moving in and out of you sets your skin ablaze as the squelching sound of your juices gets louder with his hard thrusts. The moans that leave your lips become more obscene as San gives a rough thrust upwards, pushing himself deeper inside of you, hitting that special spot and making your back arch.

“I- I love it when you t-talk dirty,” you struggle to say as the pleasure builds up with each of San’s powerful thrusts.

The smirk that stretches across his face as he looks at you with hooded eyes screams trouble. You’re unsure if telling him that was a mistake, but you’re about to find out.

You’re unsure if telling him that was a mistake, but you’re about to find out. He flips you over, dick never slipping out as he thrusts into you from below, your hands grabbing onto his shoulders as he ruts into you. You’re letting out whines, shaking your head from side to side as the pleasure becomes too intense.

“I know you can take it, baby. I know you love it. Look how good you soak my cock,” San says, his praises encouraging as you look down to watch him disappear into you. His dick is so hard and covered in your wetness, his lower stomach shiny from your arousal.

“Fuck, you’re such a filthy girl. And it’s all for me, right?” He asks as his thumb finds your clit, pressing tight circles on it that draw out a long “yes” from you.

“Only for you. Only for you,” you pant against his lips as you lean forward, San’s hands gripping your ass as he pounds into you.

He’s on the brink of cumming, and when he delivers one powerful thrust, he feels you shake, your pussy holding him incredibly tight as you orgasm, wave after wave hitting you, each stronger than the previous.

He manages to fuck you through it, dick pulsing as your walls constrict around him, praising you as more wetness seeps onto him.

“That’s it, that’s my girl,” he grunts, teeth grinding as your tightening and wetness propels him to chase after his own orgasm as his eyes have trouble finding a place to focus.

He’s reeling in pleasure as the images in front of him take over his mind. His eyes flicker between his thick cock disappearing between your swollen lips, sliding in and out of your wetness and your glassy eyes staring down at him.

“Please give it to me. I want you to cum inside of me. Please, San,” you beg, your words coming out high-pitched and desperate. It was all San needed to hear from you. You didn’t have to beg him, he would give you everything he had, over and over until he was empty.

“Fuck I’m cumming,” he moans loudly, the loudest you’ve heard him tonight, as his thrusts turn sloppy and warmth floods your insides.

Each hot spurt has you clenching around him, further heightening his pleasure as he empties himself, enjoying the view of his cum squeezing out of you.

His hair sticks to his forehead, sweat dripping down his face, neck, and chest. Almost every inch of his skin is covered in sweat, and so is yours. Both of you are a mess, and as you carefully pull off him, a mixture of your wetness and San’s cum spills out onto his stomach, earning a loud moan from him.

“You’re so sexy, baby,” he chuckles, pulling you down by the neck and planting a short and gentle kiss against your lips.

He reaches over to the nightstand, grabbing a tissue to wipe his stomach as you lay beside him, legs sticky with both of your releases. As San catches his breath next to you, dick already softening, you can’t help but mumble, “That was amazing.”

San pulls you closer to his side, one hand hooking around your shoulder as the other settles onto your hip. Head resting on his shoulder, he looks down at you, eyes full of warmth and a mouthful of white teeth on display.

“It was incredible,” he replies, placing a sweet kiss on the top of your head. A peaceful silence fills the room, and he opens his mouth to speak again.

“I hope you know you’re more than just a one-night stand to me. I want you every morning. Every day. Every night. In every way possible,” he whispers, looking down at you, brown eyes sparkling in the soft moonlight.

“I feel the same way too,” you confess, heart swelling and comforted by the fact that this was more than just a night of sex for him.

San leans in, his lips moving to cover yours when a loud bang in the living room suddenly interrupts it.

“What the fuck?” You jump, startled by the noise.

San’s face becomes serious as he stands up, covering you in the blanket at the foot of your bed before pulling on his briefs.

“Stay here. I’ll check it out,” he whispers, about to walk away when you tug onto his wrist.

“Wait! Take this,” you quietly say, leaning over the edge of the bed to pull a metal baseball bat from underneath.

“For protection,” you explain, handing it to him only to receive a soft chuckle. You watch as he steps out into the hallway, anxiously waiting. It’s silent for a few minutes before you hear a loud and annoying voice.

“What the fuck! Are you trying to kill me?! See, I told you, Hongjoong! I knew the two of them would fuck! You owe me 50 bucks!”

Footsteps sound down the hallway, and you pull the sheets closer to your chest, covering any visible skin. An embarrassed San trails in, followed by a drunk Wooyoung and a tipsy Hongjoong.

“I tried to make them leave,” San explains, cheeks flushing as he runs his fingers through his hair.

“Y/N!” Hongjoong whines as he takes another step into the room.

“Now I owe him money,” he drunkenly pouts, looking cute and defeated. All you can do is laugh as San returns to his spot next to you, leaning against the headboard.

“I knew she wouldn't be able to resist him! That’s my boy,” Wooyoung shouts a little too loud, causing Hongjoong to flinch as Wooyoung smiles in triumph.

“Yea, you’re right. She couldn’t resist my charms,” San grins, eyebrows raising as he gives you that sexy look he was talking about.

You lightly slap his chest, cheeks flushing in embarrassment as he pulls you towards him, placing a kiss on your nose before ordering the two trouble makers to leave.

You weren’t entirely sure what would come out of this, but you felt good about it. If this happened when you listened to your heart, you would do it more often.

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forhereyesonlyyy · 10 months

Text

your love. // stayc, pse. // one-shot.

in which you visit your girlfriend sieun after months of not being around each other, and you both find it hard to control repressed emotions after sieun goes overboard during your moment alone.

word count: 8.4k.

author’s note: my first stayc one-shot!!! i gotta be honest with ya'll i started writing this during asap era but towards the end i kind of lost motivation to continue so that's why it's a bit dragged on because i kinda just started saying anything sihdskfh BUT!!! THIS IS A WORK MADE WITH LOVE!!! i absolutely adore my stayc and girls and i cannot wait for teenfresh GIVE ME THE SONG OF THE LATE SUMMER MY GIRLS!!! p.s. i'm sorry this is sooooo long like omg...

tags: wlw, established relationship, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff towards the end, sieun fucks up, seeun the bestest best friend evver it's true.

warnings: suggestive at one point.

You got the genius idea when you were in your bathroom, staring blankly back at your reflection as you lazily brushed your teeth. You’ve been counting, as lame as that sounds, and in preparation for her upcoming comeback with her group, Sieun has been gone for months too long for you to endure. You missed her badly, but it wasn’t like she has been ignoring you or only talked to you once in a blue moon. No, Sieun always made sure that she texted you or call you during her downtime and in return, when you aren’t drowning in schoolwork, you send her some pictures of your face just to make sure that she doesn’t forget what you look like.

Sieun sends you some photos and even videos as well, and some late-night calls really makes you feel a lot less lonely. But of course you will always want more than that. You don’t even want to think about how long it has been since you last hugged or kissed or simply just looked at your dear girlfriend. And so, that one night, while you were brushing your already incredibly spotless teeth, you decided to surprise Sieun while she’s filming the music video with her members for the lead single of their latest album.

Sieun had told you a week before that they would start filming soon, and that day was today. That time was now, actually. You had arrived at the studio where the filming was taking place, and you’ve already informed some nearby staff about your galaxy brain surprise plan. Now you were just hoping that none of the louder girls spot you and make a scene. As much as you loved the members, you hoped that things would roll smoothly just this once.

You spot Sieun’s gorgeous strawberry blonde hair from a distance, and she was sitting on a chair chatting with a stylist. In front of her sat Sumin and Yoon, and against all of your wishes, Yoon had made eye contact with you and Sumin, sweet as ever, smiled so big upon seeing you. You immediately put your index finger over your lips for damage control and thankfully the two girls recognized the message and pretended you didn’t exist.

You continue making your way behind your sitting girlfriend but then you come to a halt when she suddenly raises her phone. You quickly hid behind a particularly tall staff member, who tried his best to not crack up as you did so. You peeked over the staff’s shoulder and of course, Sieun was indeed taking a picture of herself. Once she was finished, she brought the phone back down to her lap and finally, you make your move.

Just before you could put your chin on your girlfriend’s shoulder, you suddenly remember that you are only supposed to be Park Sieun’s good friend (Y/N). Scrapping every single one of your plan to surprise Sieun with a kiss or a hug, you stood frozen on your spot with a new plan. Sieun raises her phone for another picture and since you were literally right behind her chair, you were in the camera as well. You put up a peace sign and on the picture Sieun took, it really just looked like you photobombed her.

It took Sieun a few seconds but then she finally spots you on the picture and quickly turns around, then she confirms that yes, you are actually there.

“(Y/N), oh my God!” Sieun stands up from her chair and runs to engulf you in a tight hug. You felt your heart swell upon feeling your girlfriend’s warmth and if it weren’t for all the people around the two of you, you probably would have broke down in tears because you were not one to control your emotions well. Especially right in front of Sieun, the most important person in your life. You hold back on the hug and made it look as platonic as you could, but then Sieun leans back, keeping her arms around your neck, and ever so slightly her clear eyes shifted from your own down to your lips. You look at her, and you knew that if this embrace lasts for even one more second, you would risk ruining her life forever. So you stepped back, forcing an awkward grin on your lips.

“When did you get here?” Sieun asked. Her tone was shaky and unsure, it seems like she realized her own mistake. She had no idea how much it ate you up inside that you couldn’t even talk to each other publicly without fearing that everything will fall apart.

“Just ten minutes ago. I would’ve arrived earlier but I stopped by the nearest coffee shop and got you and the girls some pastries,” You paused. You didn’t know how strict the company was with the members’ diet, but now that you were here, you realized that you... didn’t really care. Even idols should enjoy food without worrying about gaining some pounds! Come on now, it’s even in your song, STAYC! “You can eat it on your break, or take it home. Just please, I don’t know, eat.” You said.

Sieun takes the box of pastries from your hands, and the brief touch of your fingers was enough to tug at your heartstrings. Your girlfriend turns to put away the pastries, and you take the time to look around the set. J was in the middle of filming her individual scenes, and Seeun and Isa were fooling around with a camera off to the side. It was most likely content for their fans. Looking back at Yoon and Sumin, they were focused on glossing over the delicious food you bought for them and argued about who gets which donut. From near them, Sieun gestures you to come over and so you did.

You sat on the chair across the three girls and hugged your backpack close to your chest. You had another gift, but it was for Sieun and you wanted to give it to her when you two were given a moment of privacy, if ever.

“(Y/N)! You didn’t have to waste your money and get these for us! You should’ve treated yourself instead.” Sumin says. Yoon mutters some words, but you couldn’t understand her since she was munching on a croissant.

You waved your hand, “It’s alright, I don’t mind. Sieun told me you girls have been working really hard for this comeback so I just thought that I could give you all a little something.”

Yoon swallows and wipes the corners of her mouth with a tissue, “Well, I’m glad you did because I have been craving sweet stuff for months! You should come more often! Sieun-unnie, tell (Y/N) to come more often.” The second youngest insists, nudging the second eldest’s shoulder.

Sieun only laughs at the younger girl’s orders, but you know in her heart that it’s what she wants too. There are times where the two of you can spend some solid time together whether it may be outside on a park or just at the comfort of your home. But unfortunately, most of the time, your schedules just don’t work out. When Sieun has a day off, you’re busy with assignments and school-related stuff. Sometimes, Sieun would visit you but even then you would be so distracted that you barely even look at her.

And of course, when you’re not doing much, Sieun is practicing and taking dancing and vocal lessons. You were convinced that the universe was doing its best to tear the two of you apart and there was a time that you almost succumbed to giving up, but you pulled through because you trusted Sieun, and it would break you to just leave her when you know that this was just a small obstacle that the two of you can jump over. Maybe even smash through.

You glanced down on your half-open backpack, and inside there was a red rectangular box with a pink bow tied to it. You chew on your bottom lip, now second guessing your choice. Was a necklace too predictable? You were pretty sure that you have bought Sieun lots of jewelry before, what if she thinks that you put no effort into searching for the perfect gift at all? That was literally your worst nightmare.

While staring holes through the red box, a pair of arms wrapped around your neck from behind and you turn around to see who it was.

“Aw, babe, is that for me? How sweet of you.” Seeun jokes, looking at the content inside your backpack. You rolled your eyes and closed your backpack before gently pushing Seeun away. Having mothers who are friends, you and Seeun were just as close despite having a two-year age difference. Seeun was just a fun person to be around and that was exactly why she was your best friend. You hadn’t known her for a while until your mothers introduced the two of you.

Seeun was the reason you even got to know Sieun on a personal standpoint. You had only seen Sieun on tv until one day, you stopped by their company building for a quick visit and tour from Seeun herself when Sieun happened to be practicing diligently with Sumin, and it all started from there.

“Sure. I would totally give my girlfriend her surprise gift in front of everyone.” You replied sarcastically. Seeun giggles and hugs you again, saying something about how glad she was that you came to visit her and everyone else.

(While you were catching up with Seeun, Sieun was quietly twiddling her thumbs beside Sumin. But of course you don’t see that because you were too busy laughing with your friend. Sieun hated feeling like this, especially towards one of her girls. But she missed you too much, and making her watch you get touchy and chatty with someone else was a lot to ask for.)

After that, Sieun was asked to make her way to the set since it was her turn to film for her individual scenes. You smile at her and mouthed some words of encouragement. Sieun smiles back briefly before going to where the director had told her to stand.

While you certainly enjoyed seeing Sieun in action, whether it may be singing or dancing or acting, you found it quite unfortunate that you couldn’t get to talk much. You loved Seeun, she was your best friend and she makes you laugh like crazy but you just miss Sieun so much. You hoped that sometime this day the two of you will be given a moment to talk. Even a minute would be enough. You just needed to feel connected to her again.

To avoid being a downer for the rest of your visit, you decided to bond with the other members of STAYC. Besides Sieun and Seeun, Isa was the third closest person to you. Not only was she extremely kind towards you, but her overall good-natured aura was almost magnetic. You always find yourself clinging to her because she made you feel good inside. Sieun does not get jealous over that because everyone knew Isa had that effect. Even Sieun herself gets drawn to her.

“She’s great, isn’t she?” Isa asked, watching Sieun work diligently with the camera. You smiled proudly at your girlfriend as the whole directing crew whooped to encourage her. You hadn’t realized that you didn’t reply to Isa as Sieun had completely captivated you. Looking at your smile and the way your eyes were quite literally glued to Sieun, Isa finds herself grinning.

“Do you like her?”

The question completely caught you off guard. You nearly snapped your neck when you turned your head to look at the older girl because from the way she said it, Isa sounded like she knew.

“S-Sieun?” You ended up blurting out. Well, now you looked like a fool. Every member’s eyes were on you, although Yoon did look quite funny since she was still eating some bread. Isa tilts her head innocently. She has no idea what she has just done, bless her heart.

“Yes. You look like you’re her biggest fan. I bet she’s your favorite member.” Isa said. Upon realizing that you might have overreacted, you then mentally slap yourself for getting all jittery and nervous. Because of course Isa wouldn’t guess it that easily. You like to think that you and Sieun have been pretty successful with the whole secret dating thing. The two of you have been official since before STAYC even debuted, albeit just a few months! And not one person has even got a hint that you and Sieun were closer than you like to show to others.

Seeun shakes her head, “That’s impossible! I’m your best friend, therefore I should be your favorite member.”

“No. Me and (Y/N) have the same exact interests. If she were just a regular fan and not our friend, I bet she would like me a lot.” J argued, and so STAYC scream over on top of each other to debate which member you like the most. Only if they knew... but they really shouldn’t.

(From the distance, Sieun watches you grin from ear to ear watching the members fight for your affection. This time, she wasn’t feeling jealous. She felt her heart growing heavy. Not with envy, but rather... love.)

When the mess managed to pass and the girls got serious since they still had some work to do, you asked a staff member to point where the washroom was and thanked them when they provided you with some directions. You must’ve eaten something bad before leaving your house since you were in a hurry. Bringing your bag along, you started following the directions the staff member gave you but then a hand tugs on your sleeve, stopping you from making another step.

“Leaving already?” Sieun asked, retracting her hand slowly. Some of the girls were already changing their outfits, while the others were going over the choreography as they were going to film the group dance clip.

“Oh, no. I was just about to go to the washroom. Well... then I was going to come back and say goodbye because my mom wants my help with some groceries,” You replied. Sieun nods, and then she goes quiet. It seems like she couldn’t get the words out of her throat. You understood why to some extent, maybe, but you did wonder why Sieun would feel nervous around you of all people. “Are you okay? Do you need something?” You asked, concerned.

Sieun shakes her head, then she cautiously looks around. You imitate her actions, trying to understand why she was suddenly like this. Sieun suddenly pushes you into an unknown corner where not even one person would dare to look at or walk by, and then she grabs your face with her hands and kisses you softly.

This was certainly new. The two of you agreed to not even be five meters close whenever you’re around just to avoid speculations, except for ‘platonic’ hugs, but here Sieun was, kissing you in public! Not that you were complaining, your mind was too hazed and all you wanted to do was kiss your girlfriend, so you do exactly that.

You’ve nearly forgotten what Sieun’s lips tasted like. The familiar cherry-flavored chapstick she wore all the time comes back to you, and you couldn’t help but pull her closer just so you can never forget about it ever again. Sieun puts her hands on your shoulders, and you feel her clutch your sweater. It almost felt like she was angry, maybe she was. Maybe she was mad about how things had to be this way, how things had to be so unfair to the both of you.

But of course, you would always be there to remind her that it’s all going to be worth it. Because at the end of the day, you have each other and the harder things get, the more the two of you hold on and the more you never wanna let go. You will always end up like this: in each other’s arms and sharing your love for one another through kisses, or maybe something as simple as a look.

Sieun was the first to break the kiss, she wraps her arms around your neck and presses her forehead against yours, “You have no idea how much I missed you.” She whispered. It sounded like she was on the verge of crying and it broke your heart.

“That’s why I’m here. I just couldn’t wait until the next time you sneak out of your dorm to come to my house.” You confessed, laughing. Sieun had told you through text about how much she feels bad whenever she lies to her members just to see you and plus, you realized that it has been her that was making an effort to see you most often than the other way around so this genius surprise plan of yours was partly made so that you could give her a break.

“I’m glad you did, I couldn’t wait either... I actually wanted to surprise you after today’s filming was done,” Sieun leans further back to look into your eyes. You raised an eyebrow. Of course that was to be expected from Sieun, but you didn’t think she would do it on a work day! “Yeah, I was going to go straight to your house and bother you until you get sick of me.” Sieun joked.

“Now I wish I just stayed put then, I would love for you to try and get me to get rid of you which, spoiler alert, would never ever happen, just saying.” You replied. You leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on top of your girlfriend’s nose.

Sieun hums, “How are you so sure?” She asked, genuinely curious. You couldn’t even believe that she was asking such a question.

“I always want to be with you,” You answered. You kiss Sieun’s lips, but it was short and quick much to her dismay. You laughed a little, and then you hugged her tightly. “I love you.”

It wasn’t the first time you said that, of course not. But it has felt so long since you voiced it out, so much that it feels like it’s the first time, but that was okay. The first time you said those three words, you heart was beating out of your chest and you voice was shaking from nervousness, having been overwhelmed by your own emotions at the time.

Back then, you were in over your head trying to figure out if Sieun felt the same about you because you really were hopelessly in love. And even though she did say it back before and has since been saying the words first sometimes, you were nervous at her reply. Will she just smile at you? Will she leave? Will she just kiss you and then leave? Do you still feel the same?

“I love you so much more.”

Your heart bends, breaks, and heals all at once at your love’s response. It was something that only Sieun could make you feel.

“Good.” You kiss her again. Again, and again until Sieun couldn’t help but laugh. You missed seeing her beautiful smile with your own eyes, and hearing her laugh over the phone didn’t give you the same butterflies as it would face-to-face. How you wished the two of you could just have a whole week— no, that would be too short. You wished that you could be with Sieun for a whole summer because what better way to spend your favorite season than being with your favorite person?! Obviously you had to stop being a brat about your situation and eat it up, but you were Sieun’s biggest fan and you simply had nothing to blame but... the timing of it all.

You briefly glance behind Sieun and your heart nearly drops to your stomach when you spot Yoon’s tall figure passing by, looking confused. With all your heart, you prayed to the Gods that the second youngest wouldn’t dare to enter your little corner. Mostly because you didn’t want anything to cut your moment with Sieun shorter than it has to be.

“Jayoon is going to talk, and they’re all going to start looking for you,” You said. Sieun hums, not seeming to care at all. Her left cheek was pressed against your right shoulder, her lips just barely grazing against your neck, making you shiver. Right. When Sieun misses you too much, she tends to get drunk with... impulse. You weren’t any different, but at least you had more restraint to not commit to doing monkey business in public! “What’s going to be your excuse?” You asked, trying to take your mind off of the trail of kisses Sieun was leaving up your neck.

“What are you trying to do?” Sieun asked, her breath tickling that funny spot behind your ear that she knows pushes you closer to giving in to her.

You hear footsteps getting closer and you start panicking, “One more second away from the set and I swear we get closer to basically telling everyone we’re gonna get married and have three kids, one named after Chaeyoung.”

“Hm. I guess we better do this quickly, then.” Sieun’s hands somehow finds a way to slip under your sweater, and you flinch backwards, both angry and shocked at how your girlfriend was being so careless at the moment.

You try to let her off easy, “Babe, if you can wait four long months then surely you can hold on for a few hours more.” You said. Sieun narrows her eyes, and you just knew that this was going to be bigger than it has to be. But you felt the need to remind Sieun just what she was trying to risk for something so... invaluable. At least that was how you saw it.

“(Y/N), you’re going to have to learn to just take the chance because what if we never get it again? I’m going to start promotions with the girls soon and, as you always seem to be, you’re going to be drilled with schoolwork and when you are, I don’t even feel like there’s a relationship to be lost!” Sieun spat. Again, you couldn’t believe what you were hearing from your girlfriend, but this time for a very different reason.

You grit your teeth, trying to clear your head and avoid saying anything that might make this tiny flame a devastating inferno, “I’m just saying that this isn’t the time nor the place to do this kind of thing, Sieun. I mean... I’m sure it would take some darn good eyes to spot us but what should we do if that happens? Have you ever thought of a way to deal with the consequences? Think about what you’re going to lose! We can’t keep getting away with a ‘near miss’, you know that.” You said.

“You know, one thing I realized about you while we were apart is you are way too invested in making sure that I keep being a singer. That’s sweet, honey, but I have to ask: are you in this for me or my career?” Sieun’s words had tore a hole in your heart, almost literally.

“How could you say that? I—” You briefly paused and kept your voice down to avoid drawing any attention. “I love you.”

(Sieun hears the sincerity in your tone and it eats her up inside.)

“You’ve worked your whole life to get to this point, I don’t want you to throw it all away for something that is worth nothing, or for someone like me,” You take your girlfriend’s hands with yours and you hold them tightly. As if you never want to let go. “We can do whatever you want when you visit me later, okay?” You hoped that this would be enough to stop all the bad feelings and the arguing, but you knew in your heart that the two of you would have to talk about it again in a more civic and mature way.

Sieun slowly pulls her hands away, and God were you so scared of what her next words implied, “There are a lot of things in my life that I can willingly and wholeheartedly throw away my dream for, one of those things is you, (Y/N). You say you love me, but I guess not to the same extent that I love you.”

Something inside you ticks off and once again, you grit your teeth to control your temper. Civil and mature conversation. Civil and mature conversation. Come on, (Y/N), that’s what we’re going for here.

While you were yelling at yourself about keeping calm, Sieun had already started walking back to the set. She apologized to the director and had told everybody that she took it upon herself to show you where the bathroom was. You were left standing alone in that dark corner in utter disbelief. You would have started crying if it weren’t for the fact that you had to leave in approximately five minutes.

You didn’t give yourself a chance to think about what had just happened with Sieun, you were saving that for midnight. Before you could leave the studio, however, you managed to slip the red rectangular box inside Sieun’s bag undetected and finally, you headed home.

Sieun did not visit you.

Not that you really care, not after what went down in the studio. Still, it couldn't be helped that you feel hollow inside your heart. It was the first time Sieun did not visit you when she said that she would. Regardless of whether or not the two of you got into a heated argument, Sieun does not let it last for longer than an hour and takes it upon herself to fix burned bridges.

You thought about apologizing first, but you were afraid that you would be distracting Sieun from her work and you didn't want to make things worse for your relationship. So, you stayed quiet for the whole afternoon. Literally. Even your mother noticed that you weren't talking much, but she didn't say anything about it, which you were thankful for.

You got a message from Seeun an hour after you left. She talked about how everyone was sad that you were only there for such a short time. You didn't give her a reply, mostly because you didn't have the energy to do so. After you helped your mother arrange the groceries, you spent the next few hours sitting on the living room couch and watching endless reruns of old dramas. Occasionally you would open the single novel sitting on top of the coffee table, but you would always find yourself looking back on your phone, hoping that Sieun would at least tell you that she got home safely with the girls.

So far into the evening, nothing.

You sighed, hugging your knees close to your chest. You stared at the tv screen and nearly gagged at the sight of a couple kissing in the most awkward way possible. How typical. You groaned since you reached another ending of an episode and you still haven't moved from your spot due to lack of motivation.

At some point, you spaced out. You started thinking of ways to make it up to Sieun when you inevitably see her again, and you had several scenarios in your head playing out that you didn't notice that your front door had been unlocked and opened. Instinctively, you grabbed the remote and prepared yourself to throw it at the unfortunate burglar that has broken into your home.

“(Y/N)...”

You blink and you realized that it was not a burglar that has broken into your home. Instead, it was the very same girl you had been thinking about the whole day, always. Well, she didn't break into the house. You had completely forgotten about the spare key you allowed Sieun to have. It's been a while since she visited, that's why.

“Sieun...?” You were going to sleep crying about how messy things were between you and your girlfriend, but the she shows up in your house at nearly ten in the evening without warning and you find yourself quite a mess inside your head. There she stood on the other end of the couch, disheveled and exhausted. Possibly from running. You clutched on to the blanket covering your legs, you wanted to wrap it around your girlfriend’s figure to keep her warm, but there were a million questions circling your brain that you couldn’t move from your seat.

Why didn’t she call you? She should be resting and preparing herself for the second day of filming, why is she here? Did she actually run from the dormitory to your house? Is she insane?!

Sieun exhales deeply and sits down on the spot beside you. Without a word, she slowly leans her head on your shoulder and rests it there, her hand finding its own way to yours. You release the tension from your shoulders and relaxed, leaning back. You tried to keep yourself focused on the drama in front of you, just to give Sieun a moment to collect herself and finally talk, but a shining object on your peripheral vision has forced you to turn your head and look down at your girlfriend.

To your surprise, Park Sieun was wearing the necklace you had bought for her.

“I’m shocked to see you didn’t throw it away,” You joked. Sieun was wearing some sweats, a shirt, and a jacket. It was obvious that she was getting ready to settle down for the night and put everything that happened in the afternoon somewhere inside her brain where she didn’t have to think about it until later, but something gave her the energy to just come to you. Until she speaks about it, you won’t ask, but boy was the curiosity killing you. “Most people wouldn’t even want to look at anything that reminds them of their lovers after a quarrel.” You muttered.

“It’s from you. I would never throw away any of your gifts over a stupid fight.” Sieun looks up, and from where you were looking, you could see a better view of the necklace. It looked amazing on her, just as you imagined.

The piece of jewel resting between Sieun’s collarbones was that of a sun because, as cheesy as it sounds, you considered Park Sieun as the one who lights your way. And maybe you were just hopelessly in love with her, but whenever she comes into your vision, everything just seems brighter. Other than that, Park Sieun is a small girl who was fed a boatload of talent as she was growing up. You’ve seen what she can do, and you had no doubt that she is one of the most promising idols in the industry. Just as the sun is one of the brightest stars in the galaxy.

You hear Sieun release a shaky breath and despite the entertaining scene playing in the television, her eyes dwelled up with tears. It felt like your heart was being trampled under someone’s feet and you had no choice but to watch.

“(Y/N), I’m really sor—”

You turn the television off and stood up, abruptly interrupting Sieun. That was on purpose, you were not going to have the talk in a living room couch where your mother could easily walk down and overhear. There was nothing for either of you to worry about since your mother knew of your relationship and was respectful and supportive, but you felt that this was something that should stay between you and Sieun.

You turn around to face your girlfriend. Tears had already started streaming down her beautiful bare face, and you gently wipe them away with your thumbs. You then took Sieun’s hand and nodded your head to the stairs, “Let’s go up. I’ll get the bath ready.”

As warm as the water kept you, goosebumps still managed to show themselves on your skin as Sieun started discarding her clothes to the side. You keep your eyes on the faucet, distracting yourself by making scenarios of droplets of water talking to each other in very high-pitched voices in your head. This makes you smile and laugh, but then Sieun joins you in the bathtub and suddenly the droplets of water started screaming in panic. Some even fainted and evaporated, how dark.

Sieun sits in the space between your legs and she hugs her own close to her chest. You rest your chin on her shoulder and wrapped your arms around her waist, holding her tight. She had pulled her hair up in the neat bun, exposing her smooth neck. You felt like kissing her.

Should you start talking? You invited Sieun to join you in the bathroom in hopes of talking in a more private space, but now you were actually in a loss for words.

“What I tried doing earlier,” Sieun speaks. You hum in response, taking one of her hands from under the water and intertwining your fingers. “It was wrong. Not because we were at... risk of being caught, but because I was pressuring you to do something against your will. It doesn’t matter if I missed you like crazy, it was terrible of me to do. I’m—” Sieun turns her head, and her eyes soften at the sight of your gentle look.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers.

“It’s okay,” You replied. You know Sieun would never force you into anything you didn’t want to do in her right mind, she promised you herself as soon as the two of you made things official. “But I understand.” You continued.

“There’s no excuse as to why I would—”

“Let me finish, babe,” You thought about all the times Sieun had to watch you do anything but sit down and talk with her on a day where the two of you were supposed to spend some quality time together after weeks of being apart. And then you thought about the times where you were too reluctant to go on a date outside with Sieun and wasted a free day due to fear of having everything fall apart for her. I’ve been quite the coward. “I think I was being too critical about hiding the fact that we’re dating. You’re the one who makes the most effort to make meetings happen... but I get too scared and before I realize, you’re leaving again and we’ve done nothing.”

“(Y/N)—”

“And then I have the nerve to blame you and your work and the industry when it was me who was slowly ruining this relationship all along. I— How are you not sick of me?” You absolutely hated how you let every good opportunity slip away, how you might have made Sieun feel that she wasn’t in a relationship, how you were never the ‘good lover’ you always wanted to believe you were. You wanted to change, but how will you ever get rid of the feeling that follows whenever you do something even remotely romantic with Sieun in public?

The feeling that you will ruin Sieun’s life, as well as your best friend’s, and that everyone will hate you for it. That Sieun will hate you for it.

“You were protecting me. I appreciate what you do for me and I always will,” Sieun cups your cheeks and leaves soft kisses all over your face. Your heart swells with sadness and the remaining bits of frustration over your past actions, but Sieun’s presence keeps those emotions at bay and eventually your heart was as light as a feather. “I would never hate you for doing what you think is the best for us. You’re my everything, (Y/N).”

Sieun kisses you, and while it was less intense than the one you shared earlier, it holds the same passion and feeling. It was a bit awkward considering that there wasn’t a lot of space for either of you to work in, but you didn’t care about that. All you wanted to do was cherish this moment and never let go of it just yet. There were a lot of things that Sieun made you feel. There was probably no way you can express them all verbally, but you hoped that this kiss would be enough to give Sieun a hint of your true feelings for her.

There wasn’t a limit when it comes to how much you should love a person, and it would be impossible to measure anyway because you knew that every passing second, you love for Sieun grows so much that it could beat the size of the universe.

“We don’t have to hide a lot anymore,” Sieun says after a while, leaning her back into your chest. You blinked, what does that mean? “The girls know.”

Your blood runs cold, “T-They...?”

Sieun nods, “Even the staff.” What the hell? I guess we weren’t as slick as we thought.

Sieun sighs blissfully and relaxes in your embrace. You raised an eyebrow, “You seem awfully calm about all of this.” You said. You thought that Sieun would be as nervous as you are right now. Hell, you were even preparing a whole speech in your head just in case there comes a time where you would have to defend your relationship against the world.

“Yeah, it’s good that they know.” Sieun says, and the content smile plastered on her face was enough to make you believe her words.

[A few hours earlier...]

“Rest well, girls. You’ll have a long day tomorrow.”

The members of STAYC thank their manager and bowed politely before making their way inside their dormitory. Immediately, Yoon and Seeun flop down on the couch, groaning about how their legs could not work anymore. Sumin heads straight to the kitchen, already thinking of what to make for dinner. J joins Yoon and Seeun on the couch, comforting them while also teasing them about their ever-deteriorating stamina.

Isa and Sieun were the last to enter. They were silent, and that, Isa thought, was weird in a way.

“What would you all like to have for dinner?” Sumin asks from the kitchen, staring intently at the contents inside the refrigerator as if her desired ingredients would appear if she just stares longer.

“We want—”

A door slams shut, making Yoon flinch and stop talking. Everyone turns their head to the front door and Sieun was nowhere to be found. She had stomped inside her shared room with Isa, J, and Seeun without a word. Isa sighs, contemplating whether she should apprehend Sieun about her behavior or leave her to her thoughts.

Sumin pokes her head out, “Does anybody know what’s going on with her?” She asked. Everybody shrugged, all of them had a different answer they all voiced out.

“Alright. Well, we can’t eat good dinner with a dark cloud above our heads! Yeeun, you’re on grocery duty with me. Chaeyoung, Seeun, and Jayoon, do what you do best and make Sieun smile.” Sumin said, grinning. She and Yeeun leave the dormitory once again, and the rest of the girls were left in the living room feeling clueless.

They all shared a look and then they just knew what to do.

Isa knocks on the door and as expected, Sieun doesn’t answer. Carefully, Isa opens the door and there they found Sieun sitting on her bed, staring at the floor with a dark look on her face. Yoon almost aborted the mission, having been scared of the thought of getting close to Sieun when’s angry, but Seeun keeps her with her and Isa as they tiptoed their way inside the room.

“Hi, unnie.” Seeun said, smiling at the older girl. Sieun looks at her, but doesn’t smile back. Seeun was starting to think that maybe Yoon was right to try and run away from the task. Isa, however, was determined.

The third eldest decided to be frank, “Trouble in paradise?” She asked.

“I just... I think I messed up with— wait, what did you say?” Sieun snaps her head up, now looking at Isa with wide eyes.

“You and (Y/N). You fought, didn’t you?” Isa asks again, making it clear to Sieun that yes, she knows exactly what she is talking about.

Sieun looks at the younger girls and she finds herself in utter disbelief, “You knew?”

Yoon nods, “We’ve all known for a while, actually. Seeun-unnie was the first one, and being Seeun-unnie she accidentally spilled it on us... but it wouldn’t really take a genius to find out about you and (Y/N).” She said. Sieun releases a heavy sigh, then she laughs at herself. All that effort just to find out that the girls have known all along. She didn’t know whether to think it was funny or sad for her, but at least she isn’t being yelled at.

“How...? And when?” Sieun directed the question to Seeun.

Seeun sits on the spot next to the second eldest and tries to remember the exact moment she found out about the not-so-secret relationship, “When we weren’t so busy, (Y/N) came over and played with me and Yeeun for a bit. You were in your room, so you didn’t know that she was here yet. Yeeun and I went to the kitchen to grab some snacks, but then I forgot to ask (Y/N) what she wanted to have. So, I went back to the living room to talk to her and... well,” Seeun grins at the memory. It was one of the moments where her heart felt so full at the sight of your smile. Don’t get her wrong, it wasn’t anything romantic. You were her best friend and if you were happy, she was happy. “She had this big dumb smile on her face while she was staring at her phone and I wondered what could be the cause of that. Turns out that she was going crazy over a cheesy message you sent at the time. I send her the same messages and she just replies with the vomit emoji, but when it was you... I have never seen her so happy.”

Sieun blushes. While she doesn’t remember that exact time, she felt rather reassured after hearing Seeun’s words. “Why didn’t you say anything to me? To us? You know, we were breaking our backs trying to hide it from everybody.” The second eldest sighed.

Seeun thinks hard about it. She knew in her heart that she would’ve confronted the couple about it, not only because she finds pleasure in teasing her tough best friend but mostly because she was over the moon about the two of you finding happiness in one another.

“I don’t know... I guess I felt like I would be intruding— or maybe I thought your hard work would be wasted. Something like that,” Seeun shrugs, giggling about her lack of a clear answer. “But just so you know, I didn’t actually tell the girls about you and (Y/N)! I’m not a snitch! I just... said some small things and they were smart enough to figure it out!” Seeun defends herself, playfully glaring at Yoon.

“No, Jayoon was right. Perhaps we really were a little too obvious about it. Mostly me, probably.” Sieun says, sighing. Not even Seeun visits you in your own home often and you’re practically joined by the hip! And how does Seeun know whenever Sieun was at your place? Well, she could always tell when you’re occupied (you really just don’t respond to the hundred old pictures of Richie she sends), and Sieun always makes sure to make herself look extra pretty on the days she would sneak out to meet up with you.

“Alright, well, now that that’s out of the way, what happened between the two of you in that little corner?” Isa asked, sitting down on the bed across Sieun’s. The second eldest finds herself feeling extremely embarrassed now that she knows that Isa, and probably all of the girls, know where the two of you decided to hide that time. God knows what else they could’ve seen.

“Other than, you know, the kissing.” Yoon commented.

“Please don’t... bring that up.” Sieun shakes her head, flustered. Both Seeun and Yoon sit down on either side of Sieun, making kissing noises to tease her endlessly. Isa sits on the bed across from Sieun's, laughing at the younger girls' antics.

Sieun covers her face with her hands, groaning, "I went... overboard. N-Nothing happened but... fuck, I— I missed her. And she was there, and I just wanted to feel close to her again. It wasn't the right time, I know, but that's not the point. I got mad and I yelled and I said all these horrible things to her and... and now I don't know if I can even face her." She was in complete distraught.

The two of you have fought before, sure. But neither of you have let it gone for this long and let it go this bad. Sieun knows that she has to talk to you, that she has to be the one to apologize because she was the one in the wrong, but she is so, so scared of what you might say to her. A cold and unforgiving look did not suit the sweet eyes Sieun has gotten to love so much but with the state she left you, Sieun thinks that the worst might just happen the next time you two see each other.

You were the best thing that's ever happened to her. All her life she felt that something was missing. Even achieving her greatest dream did not make that hollow feeling go away. Then she met you, and slowly all the pieces of her incomplete puzzle started coming together.

Sieun feels tears building up in her eyes and clutches on her bed tightly, "I don't want lose (Y/N). I can't lose her."

Yoon caresses the older girl's back to comfort her, pouting at Sieun's pitiful sight. Isa only stares, sighing and finding herself thinking of ways to help Sieun. Seeun stands up and grabs Sieun's bag from floor. Sieun doesn't say anything when the younger girl fishes through her bag. She didn't have the strength to do anything at all.

Seeun cracks a proud smile on her pretty face when she successful finds the red box inside Sieun's bag. Everyone in the room perks up at the sight of the unfamiliar object. Seeun gently places the box on Sieun's lap.

"It's from (Y/N), obviously," Seeun takes off the cover and reveals the beautiful sun necklace you've bought for her. The jewel seemed to shine brightly under the light, and Yoon mutters something about it being the prettiest necklace she has ever seen. "(Y/N) is very... simple. Traditional. Not that it's a bad thing. I meant that... her love isn't anything grand, but that's what make her so appealing. She's my best friend so I can say that." Seen clasps the necklace behind Sieun and admired it. You really did have the best taste in jewelry.

"My point is you don't have to make a song, or tell her a poem to fix all this. Just, you know, be there and say sorry," Seeun sits back down beside Sieun, smiling at her. "She's hurting right now too. I think it would help if you were there." Seeun glances at her own phone, frowning at the realization that you haven't replied to her messages at all.

Sieun touches the sun-shaped jewel resting on her collarbone, and it made her think of you — her very own star, shining down on her when everything gets dark. The one person who she knows will always be there when she needs them, the one person who will love her and care for her unconditionally. She couldn't afford to lose you, your love, your very randomly-timed gifts, your smile, your laugh, and that future that Sieun so badly wanted with you.

"I... I need to go." Sieun doesn't even wait for a reply from her members. She sprints out of the room, barely able to grab the keys to your house as she did so, put on her sneakers in record speed before dashing out of the dorms.

The crisp, cold air hits Sieun's face while she races down the street she knows all too well, but she knew a world without you in her life would be colder, and it would hurt more. Sieun held the sun jewel in her hand while she ran, lungs begging for air and legs begging for a stop but she couldn't. She had to see you. And be with you again.

Everything was about you, and for you. It always will be, for Sieun.

Finally, Sieun comes to a stop at your front porch. The curtains were drawn, but she could faintly see the drama being played on the television and the dim light coming from your kitchen. Sieun hoped it wasn't your mother because she would have too much of an explaining to do. Sieun approaches your front door, puts the key inside the lock and turns the doorknob cautiously.

Sieun steps inside the living room and sees you, her girlfriend, all the more ready to attack her with the remote control for the television. She could laugh, but she was too exhausted from all the running she did. And plus, making eye contact with you after everything she did made her so, so weak.

"(Y/N)..." God, she could barely speak your name.

You dropped the remote control on the couch, "Sieun...?" She missed your voice a lot. Sieun releases a deep breath and settles herself beside you, your warmth immediately getting rid of every fear, doubt, and shame in her head. She rested her head on your shoulder and took your hand in hers, intertwining your fingers and holding it tightly. She never wants to let go.

Sieun knew she was a work in progress, but she was willing to do anything for you. Whether it be giving up her dreams, or swallowing her pride, or literally running miles just to see you — for your love was worth having more than any of the stars in the universe, and the universes beyond that.

#girl group scenarios #girl group reactions #girl group x reader #girl group imagines #girl group oneshots #stayc oneshots #stayc imagines #stayc scenarios #stayc reactions #stayc x reader #sieun x reader #sieun imagines #sieun reactions #sieun scenarios #sieun oneshots

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gaslightgallows · 8 months

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September 2023 Writing Round-Up

I just checked my tags, and I haven't done one of these since… three years ago. Exactly three years ago yesterday (9/29/20), to be precise. Which was pretty much when my mental health and my personal life started to crumble in earnest, and it took my desire to write for public consumption along with it.

Most of what I did for the rest of 2020/2021 were either struggling to finish works in progress (and largely failing) or archiving stuff from my LJ days. I didn't post anything in 2022. I was still writing (a lot) but it was either for Patreon (…fuck, right, I have a Patreon) or it was personal, not meant to be shared.

And then Good Omens came back and ended up being really fucking relevant to my life, and @meldanya44 was there urging me to get back into writing for other people besides her. I think it was a good idea, over all. ♥

So… yeah. Thanks, Good Omens fandom, for reminding me that writing is meant to be shared, and that I am a prompt-based lifeform. (I'll be putting up a new prompt list tomorrow, if anyone wants an artisanally crafted bespoke ficlet of their very own.)

Anyway, here's what I did in September:

Authorial Intent (G, one-shot): Michael’s plan to erase Aziraphale from the Book of Life has certain… flaws. A revision of the final season of S2 Ep6, where the Metatron does not make an appearance. (Actually posted at the end of August but this is my list and it counts. Written very shortly after I finished S2 for the first time. Effervescing with joy.)

Put Out the Stars (T, currently a one-shot, planning to continue): Crowley stole the photo of himself and Aziraphale from the shop a long time ago. (Inspired by one of @fellshish's asks. Angst angst angst… with more to come!)

An Invisible Wound (T, one-shot): “I almost killed you tonight.” “I almost got you killed tonight.” Their first kiss, soft and futile, is in 1941. (Bittersweet canon-compliant 1941 truthers unite.)

After the Rain (T, one-shot; for @meldanya44): The Second Coming has come and gone, and Crowley was calling him ‘angel’ again. (Wonderful quiet post-series fluff.)

Like Petals in a Storm (M, currently a standalone but working on a sequel; for @meldanya44): Between the discorporation and the almost-execution, Aziraphale’s having a bit of trouble keeping body and soul together. (My reputation-mandated 'one partner helps another bathe' fic.)

The Taste of Salt (G, one-shot; for @iamhisgloriouspurpose): The lingering taste of ox ribs are bitter and rich in Aziraphale's mouth, and he isn't sure what he believes anymore. (Continues the 'I'm not taking you to Hell, angel' scene in the Ep2 minisode. Nice and angsty. No one seems to like this one and I'm not sure why.)

Pipe Dream (G, one-shot; for @unwholesome-gay): All Aziraphale has ever wanted is to give heaven back to Crowley. (Domestic fluff about Aziraphale buying the South Downs cottage for Crowley. Fun fact: I struggled to write this and finally posted it in dismay and tried to forget about it. And then my inbox exploded with HEARTS, so I guess it wasn't as bad as I thought.)

The Patience of Angels, Chs 1-4 (M, multi-chapter WIP): An old enemy is on the hunt for the demon known as Crowley, and it will take all the powers of one very protective angel to save him. But in keeping Crowley safe, Aziraphale will uncover more of the terrible truths of Heaven than he ever wanted to know. (The longfic I first conceived of in 2019 and then never got around to finishing enough to post, and am now trying to revise the HELL out of in real-time because the original version doesn't work anymore. I love this fic with a burning passion and hope it finds an audience someday… which it probably will if I can update it, y'know, more often than once a month…)

Fics Posted: 8 Word Count: 28,182

I'm never going to be as prolific as I was when I was in the MCU fandom and had a much less-hectic job, but I'd call that a decent comeback. Thanks, everyone. ♥

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens fandom #good omens fanfiction #good omens fic #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley #prompt fills #monthly round-up #meldanya44

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obliqueblade · 8 months

Text

Update- Health Concerns/Inspo/ rambling a bit

“So Oblique where have you been?”

That is a great question reader. The truth is complicated… and rather long.

Not to be like “ao3 writer moment” but…

I have cancer. Had it for a while actually. I got diagnosed right at 20, but I had symptoms for a while before that. We had thought it was just my asthma acting up, but nope.

I have lung cancer. Wooo.

Funnily enough, about a month or so later, Technoblade released his announcement video.

It was strange. Knowing that while I was going through treatment, someone I looked up to across the country was doing something similar. I remember watching that video hooked up to my oxygen machine, and feeling a pit in my stomach when he had mentioned being able to see where it was. While I don’t have Sarcoma, most cancer patients, especially those in the ward knew what that meant.

I made a joke though, that none of my doctors, or friends really appreciated. Statistically, I would die before he did, so I at least wouldn’t have to live in a world without him.

… clearly, this did not go the way I had hoped.

Off and on for that year, I was in and out of the hospital in Clevland, Ohio. Now this is not where I live normally, but it was close to my grandparents. I also found out how much I hated snow. Moreso, when your lungs also hate it and you at the same time.

“Oh, Oblique, just how common is lung cancer in your early 20s?”

Why dear reader another GREAT question! The answer is- it’s not. Or the early signs are easy to miss. I was one of the youngest patients at CC frequently, and one of the only ones with lung cancer during my stay. We were able to catch it so quickly because my step moms brother had CF, so my mom spent a lot of time in hospitals around people who couldn’t breathe. After the first few times, I couldn’t catch my breath, no matter what I did she wanted me to go and get tested to find out what it was since it was clearly worse than just asthma. We knew it wasn’t CF, because they would’ve found that earlier. Ruled out pneumonia pretty quickly too as it was the middle of summer. My FP happened to think to test cancer, just in case. My Dad and I had laughed, it was such a long shot it was more likely I was just having pretty frequent panic attacks. Now I knew deep down it wasn’t panic attacks and my mom did too, but the C-word was terrifying.

And then we got the tests back. I knew as soon as he walked in, hell I knew when they did the tests, and yes there are multiple.

I asked my mom to leave the room, My Dad hadn’t been able to come in that day with us, and I needed to talk to him about how long he thought I had.

He didn’t reply for a while, and I’ll never forget the look on his face.

At the time of my diagnosis, I was 19. Statistically, the chance of living to see my 24th birthday was almost impossible.

Doc pretty much told me that IF I could survive the next 7-12 months without the cancer spreading to my other organs my chances were pretty good. I’d later find out that the chances of it spreading were so high, and if it ever does the chances that I make it almost none. However, even once I passed every year after would be considered a miracle if I got past five.

He went into the next room and talked to my mom for a while, while I tried to wrap my head around everything. Just how quickly my life had changed. How fast it was all going to happen. What finally broke me, was my youngest sister texting me from one of her middle school classes asking me how it was going. Realizing I’d never get to see her graduate, take her on girls' days, help her through heartbreak, watch her get married.

At that moment it felt like the cancer had already killed me. It had stolen not only my life but my place in the lives of my family. Doc and Mom came back in at some point during my breakdown and sat with me.

We didn’t leave that office for a while. When we did, I told my mom that I wanted to be the one to tell my Dad and sister before we talked about where we were going to go.

So that night after dinner, we sat at the kitchen table, and I simply said

“This air quality seems to be so shitty, that my lungs have decided to refuse work,”

And my mother broke into tears, and my dad and sister stared at me like I was crazy. Which I kind of felt I deserved to be. Once we had cleared up the confusion, my dad asked me the same question I had asked the doctor.

I told him that realistically he was going to have to rely on either my older or younger sister to wipe his ass when he couldn’t do it anymore. I was trying really hard to make light of the situation because I didn’t want everyone to be sad before I died. There would be plenty of time for it afterward anyway.

Maybe that’s another thing I recognized from Techno’s initial video. Trying so hard to make sure that no one was worried despite knowing what was going to happen. And even though I think deep down a lot of us at least feared, the concept was so ridiculous and insane. How could someone like him just…

On the day of the announcement, I saw Dreams tweet before the YouTube notification came through.

I sat in my hospital bed playing Minecraft on the PC I had finally saved up enough to get, and I was on the phone with my best friend back in my home state. All I can remember is saying “Please. Please don’t let it be who I think it is. Please don’t let it be.” The last thing I remember hearing was my friend say “Oh ____ I am so sorry.”

I hung up the phone and just sobbed. I ripped out my IV and heart monitor culled into a ball on the floor and just lost it. It didn’t take long before my nightly nurse ran into the room and they eventually had to sedate me.

I woke up a few hours later, and for a moment I thought I had dreamed it. Yet I saw my mom in my room and I knew that I hadn’t. She had started working remotely due to COVID-19 and her job was letting her continue to remote in so she could come to Ohio with me and stay between the hospital and my grandparent's house. My dad would drive, and while Ohio was closer than some of the other hospitals this is still an 8+ hour drive every other week with my sister and stay with me.

I had actually been doing pretty well at this point. Due to my age, and the fact my cancer had not spread yet, I was a really good candidate for surgery. However, there are underlying health conditions and risks that have to be monitored and dealt with before they can do the surgery. They had to give me enough time between treatments so I still had the strength to survive the surgery.

When the video was released, I finished up another round of medications, this time ones that showed promising effects and weren’t damaging to my strength so I would survive the surgery.

After the video came out, my mental health dipped hard, and fast, and my physical health soon followed. Then one of my best friends as the center passed. She was three months younger than me. She had leukemia, and the doctors had been amazed she had lived as long as she had since she had it since she was a kid. They thought she was in remission in her teens, but she relapsed pretty hard right before she turned 19. Halfway through my stay there, she had taken a dip, and her health hadn’t been able to recover.

At that moment I wanted to die. I couldn’t see a point in living, of fighting, when the time I bought through these treatments maybe would last a few years. My doctors essentially had to rework my treatment plan and appeal to my parents that if they wanted me to live, they needed to have me fight for it.

So much as those days where my family would come in and beg me to try and fight I just didn’t have it in me. I couldn’t see a life for myself anymore. Now some people may look at that and think it's dumb, like “Oh some guy you never even met, someone who didn’t even know you existed, died and now you’ve decided to just die?”

Well first off rude. Secondly, I was already suicidal, and you’ll find it’s extremely common for patients with life-threatening diseases to need therapists constantly because they have extreme suicidal tendencies. Also, I want to state that yes I am referencing Techno a lot in this, but know that I am remarking about his passing and how it affected me, I am not doing so as a way to blame or hate him. Obviously, I cannot claim to know what or how he was feeling in those last few months, but I do know that we don’t get a choice when cancer kills us.

It isn’t up to us.

Hell, maybe no one is even reading this, maybe I dyed typing it up, or before I posted it. The point is I don’t want some moron to read this and think “Wow attacking a cancer patient, Oblique whatever is next?”

Dear lord this thing is four pages now, alright to quickly wrap up on why and how I’m back.

Just before all this went down, I had gotten into Hermitcraft. Now back when I was growing up and living under different circumstances, I wasn’t allowed internet access, so I missed out on a lot in the mid-2010s, one of which being Hermitcraft and well Minecraft as a whole.

Anyway, I found specifically GoodtimeswithScar and Grian.

Now, I do watch other Hermits, but at this time I watched these two the most. I never used Twitch before, and while I still don’t really like the platform I loved watching Scar stream.

Scar, actually, was the reason I got determined to at least try and fight this damn cancer.

See, before this, I didn’t know about Scar’s illness. I didn’t know he was in a wheelchair and I didn’t know he was on oxygen tanks either. So the first stream I got to watch, lying in my hospital bed, hooked up to about a million blinking machines, I opened it to see someone else wearing oxygen tubes. Someone who was also hooked up to a million different things. Yet, Scar could create some of the most beautiful things I had gotten to see while stuck in that room. It was like he weaved pure magic through the screen.

So, I came to the conclusion that what the hell. If I died so would my memories. The things I’ve seen and people I’ve met, all of it would go with me. And if there’s one thing I learned from Techno, is that “... the Sun Kast fallacy wouldn’t allow it,”.

So, we restarted my treatment plan. Eventually, we did the surgery and after making sure I was stabilized and showed no signs of infection, or that the cancer was making a comeback right away they allowed me to be transferred home. Right in time for that good ol’ Southern heat.

Now, I still have to regularly go to the hospital, as well as wear my lovely little oxygen tubes around, and take PLENTY of drugs (OMG so many cotton mouth is REAL), but not to jinx anything I’ve been doing fairly well these past few weeks.

Of course, this can change in an instant, and I have to be extremely careful, especially due to Covid (Seriously guys if someone coughs on me I might as well get into the coffin now.)

As for why I decided to write this fic? Well, in a way the Hermits helped me live. Helped my parents not have to bury one of their kids. Helped me see my sister start high school. Helped me reach my 21st birthday.

19-21.

Three years down.

Realistically, I know there’s going to be a day I get the results that not only is the cancer back, but that it has spread. I know this. And I also know that when that time comes I will have to accept that and move forward as I can. I may never be as great as Alex, and I don’t want to be, but I want to be like him in that I will accept and try to easily go when it’s my time, knowing that I did all that I could.

In the meantime, I might as well leave something for the small part of the world that I can.

If and when my updates stop, I’ll leave a message for my friend on how to log into my Tumblr so she can at least give you guys some closure.

Take care, and I will see you when I see you, Readers!

Update:

So originally, this was going to be posted on the 13th– clearly, that didn’t happen. I had a minor health setback. Bacteria truly is my greatest enemy. I got sent back to the hospital and then saw my specialist on the 13th and a whole new wave of antibiotics. I’m still in the hospital being monitored, which is kinda like every few hours someone comes in and pokes me so I can never sleep.

Which ya know is fun.

So I got my roommates to bring my laptop under the guise of doing school work but in reality, I just wanted better access to edit because that’s hard to do on my phone.

Anyway, I’ll keep you guys posted. Chapter 2 should be posted within the next week or so health providing. Knock on wood.

#hermitcraft #desert duo #desert duo vigilante au #hermitblr #ao3 writer #ao3 fanfic #superhero au #archive of our own #grian #cute guy grian #health #wellness #hospital #cancer #awareness #disease

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7seas-of-ry · 2 years

Text

Dirty Dreams

This is my first time ever writing something like this! This is actually my first time writing anything really!! Reading all the Rooster images got me feeling some type of way tho so I decided to try it out

Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Y/N “Sunshine” Y/L/N

Warnings: slight dirty talk, drinking, small dirty scene described, I don’t think there is anything else, let me know if there is :)

...

You were on your back looking up at the tall, toned, and tan man that you were in love with. He hovered over you and made his way up and down your body leaving gentle kisses in his path. He was inching closer and closer to where you wanted him. His mouth made your skin feel like it was on fire. The burning getting closer and closer to your core. He left a kiss on the inside of your thy and finally gave you what you wanted. You grab his hair as he makes you feel things you’ve never felt before.

“Rooster please” You needed more, “Bradley”

Then you hear it. Someone was calling your name. Was that Phoenix?

“y/n wake up” Phoenix yells at you. You finally wake up, cheeks flushed after realizing the kind of dream you were having. And from the shit eating grin she had, she knew the kind of dream you had too.

“y/n “Sunshine” y/l/n, were you having a sex dream about our very own Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw?” she gushed at you. You didn’t think it was possible, but your cheeks got even redder.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Just play dumb and she won’t know, right?

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, and Bob heard it too. He had to leave because your moans were basically coming out of a porno!”

This was your nightmare. You had been silently in love with the handsome aviator for forever. Always watching him from a distance and admiring him not only for his good looks but for his brains as well.

“Please please pleeeease forget about this” you begged your friend. Thankfully she took mercy on you and promised she wouldn’t bring it up again. But she did tell you to put something cute on because everyone was meeting up for a drink and she was there to pick you up. You slipped into a black corset top that showed off your chest nicely and some ripped jean shorts and headed out the door with her.

You were met outside with a very embarrassed looking Bob.

“Sunshine, I promise I did not hear anything. And even if I did, I already forgot about it.”

After a beat of silence, all three of you started laughing and then headed to the bar. When you got there, it was already packed. You quickly spotted the boys and made your way over to the group. Hangman came over and put his arm around your waist.

“Lookin’ good Sunshine, that’s a nice top you got on” Hangman smirked at you as he shamelessly flirted. You rolled your eyes and told everyone you were going to get a drink.

Once you made your way up to the bar, you spot him walk in the doors. The dream came rushing back to you. The room suddenly felt too hot and you didn’t know if you’d be able to stand by him all night and act normal. I mean, he looks like he was sculpted by the heavens above, it truly wasn’t fair.

He comes up to you before you can process what to do and orders 2 beers.

“Sunshine, I got one for you too” Rooster charmingly smiled at you.

“T-Thank you...You didn’t have to” You stuttered, and he responded with another breath taking smile - again, truly not fair.

You both got your beers and headed back to the group. You notice that they had all done shots. Phoenix was already looking drunk. You just laughed at her and took a seat off to the side. Surprisingly, Rooster joined you. He peered over at you.

“You look beautiful darlin’“ It was such a simple sentence, yet your heart exploded. You smiled and softly thanked him. The group continued to do shots and you, and Rooster sat and talked, slowly drinking your beers. Your were feeling more confident talking to him and things were going smoothly. Phoenix comes stumbling over, hiccuping and mumbling along the way.

“Heeeeyyyyy guuyyyssss” She drags out, “Sunshine, I just want a guy to make me feel as good as Rooster made you feel in that dream”

It felt as though everything paused at once. You could not believe what she just said. You had no idea what to do, you were freaking out. You look over at Rooster and he sat there with a shit eating grin looking back at you.

“I mean, the way you were moaning his name, I know he was making you feel amazing. Like mind blowing-ly amazing and - “before Phoenix could continue, you cut her off.

“Phoenix, I think you have me mixed up with someone else.”

“No, remember, I came to pick you up today and you were sleeping and moaning his name so loud.” She turns to Rooster “Bob heard and ran out of the room” She giggled and walked away.

You were mortified. What did she do? He was gonna think you were a creep. He wouldn’t want to talk to you anymore. As you were spiraling, you heard him start to speak.

“So, you get those dreams too? Baby, I’ve been having them about you since the first day we met.” He stated and slowly took a sip of his beer, never breaking eye contact.

You sat there for a second, shocked, then a wave of confidence washed over you.

“I doubt your are as dirty as mine” You spoke looking right at him

His eyebrows shot up and he got an intense look on his face. Rooster stood up and responded

“How about you let me take you home and I’ll show you exactly what I dream about, gorgeous. Then you’ll know just how dirty mine are”

You stood and he put his hand on the small of your back and led you out of the bar.

You made a mental note to thank Phoenix later...and all the shots she took.

#rooster #rooster bradshaw imagine #rooster top gun #rooster x reader #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x y/n #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #top gun #top gun maverick #top gun fanfiction #pete maverick mitchell #pete mitchell #bradshaw #miles teller #miles teller top gun #rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw imagine

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natasha-in-space · 1 year

Note

SOMEONE WHO WRITES FOR RIKA TOO OMG?? I could cry fr I’m so happy T T

Ok so, may I request a scenario where X (Rika, Jihyun and Jumin if u can!) are w/ their S/O and at some points they realise they met once in their childhood (?) like one of those encounters that remain impressed in your mind, even as time passes and you go on w/ your life. Idk if I explained it well;;; ofc u are free to ignore this if it’s a difficult request djbdjdbdjsj In any case, have good day/night!!

–🌹

Hi anon!! Rika is actually my third favourite character in mm after the Choi twins, so I'm more than happy to write for her! :D This was a very fun request to write, so thank you so much for requesting something so interesting ✧

Jumin

This was one of those days you just wanted to forget that they ever happened. You woke up late, finding out in a panic that you were late for your appointment, which is why you had no time to eat proper breakfast or even make yourself look somewhat presentable. The feeling of loneliness that inevitably came with waking up all alone without your husband waiting for you right by your side did not help much with the utmost horrible start of this new day.

Jumin was out on one of his business trips, leaving you in charge of his penthouse for a few days. It was becoming more and more rare for you two to part ways due to his job, but this was one of those occasions when your schedules just didn't match. At which you were quickly starting to curse and cuss inside your own mind as you were being continually bombarded with one bad luck after another.

Somehow, you managed to slip on ice on your way to your first destination, had to find out that you were now supposed to wait in line for a whole hour, dropped your coffee, and to top it all off, Jumin's flight home was postponed for a whole 4 hours.

To say you were in a bad mood would be the understatement of the year.

As you finally reached your couch, you practically collapsed onto the soft cushions, not even bothering to throw away your coat or kick off your shoes. Before you could even breathe a tired sigh of relief, you felt hot frustrated tears burning in the corners of your eyes, which, ironically, only made you feel even more irritated. An angry sob wrecked your entire body as you clawed at your clothes with frustrated desperation.

You were angry with the world and you were angry with yourself for bursting into tears over one bad day.

You didn't remember how you fell asleep. All you knew is that you probably cried yourself to sleep, which was a pretty fitting end to the disgusting day you just had.

What you didn't expect was to awake to the heavenly smell of fresh strawberry pancakes that you knew by heart. You shot awake, quickly jumping up onto your wobbly legs and regretting that action mere seconds later.

As you tumbled back onto the couch, clutching onto your forehead all while your head spun in a clear protest to your rash movements, you heard soft footsteps coming your way. And, sure enough, once you opened your eyes once more, you saw Jumin kneeling down beside you, placing a plate of fresh pancakes on the coffee table.

"My love... Did something happen? I was quite worried to see you passed out on the couch like that. You're not sick by any chance, are you?" His words were laced with worry as he reached out with his hand to check on your forehead. You merely shook your head, chucking under your breath at the embarrassing situation you put yourself into.

"No, no... I'm fine. I just had a terrible day, and I was too upset and frustrated with everything to follow up with my evening routine as usual. I knew you were in a plane by that time, so... I may or may not cried myself to sleep?"

Jumin furrowed his brows, obviously not pleased with your answer. Still, he didn't try to scold you or lecture you on what you did wrong. Instead, he just let out a quiet sigh before placing a gentle kiss onto your forehead and caressing your cheek with the back of his hand. "It pains me to hear that... But, I suppose we can't always avoid upsetting circumstances getting in our way. I'm just sad to know that I couldn't be there for you when you needed me."

You smiled, leaning into his warm touch and enjoying the closeness that you missed so dearly. "Don't worry about it. You're here now. And I'm being completely honest when I say that none of it is bothering me now that you're back. Those pancakes smell amazing!"

As you leaned forward from your place on the couch, you felt your hand touch something soft, which made you let out a low 'uh', before you glanced down at the odd object that your hand has landed on. To your utter shock, what you saw was a small plushie of a black cat with a suit on it. Your breath hitched in your throat, as you quickly lifted the toy up to take a closer look.

This... This is just a coincidence, right?

Even though the plushie was soft to the touch, you could see that it had worn out, pointing at the fact of it being quite old. You could feel your heart hammering inside of your chest as your hands have began to shake.

"Y/N? Is something wrong?" You heard Jumin whisper with clear concern clouding his soft grey gaze. Before he could question you any further, though, you pulled the plush cat to your chest, swallowing nervously.

"Jumin... H-how long did you have this toy?"

Your question was followed by a tense silence for a few agonizingly long moments, before your husband tilted his head to the side in obvious confusion. "This...? It's a gift I got from when I was little. I just remembered you mentioning how much you loved things like these, so I decided to bring it out in case it might cheer you up. Why do you ask?"

Your breathing quickened as pieces of the puzzle slowly started to form a clear picture. "...Mr. Fancy-Pants."

You heard Jumin's own breath hitch as his eyes widened in an expression of shock you rarely saw him show to anybody. It seems like you both shared the same thought as he managed to find the right words again. "Where... did you hear that name?"

Your voice trembled, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. "B-Because I named it. I met a strange boy in one of my classes that reminded me of this toy my parents gave me. So I gave it to him, because he always seemed so lonely for some reason. I called it Mr. Fancy-Pants, since I never saw that boy wear anything but fancy suits and ties... Oh my god, Jumin, it- It was you, wasn't it-?"

Your voice broke on your last word, making all of your emotions spill free. You felt Jumin's own hand start to shake as he took hold of the small plush toy with such tenderness, it looked like he was afraid that it'll break if he squeezed it just a little bit too tight. "...Nobody ever gifted me anything like that before. I thought it was so strange... to gift someone an object that reminded you of them and not want anything in return. I always thought that gifts were supposed to be useful. But... That day, I felt so weirdly honored to receive such a heartfelt gift from someone I didn't even know personally."

He carefully placed Mr. Fancy Pants on the nearby pillow before cupping your damp cheeks into his hands and meeting your lips with his own in a soft and loving kiss that made you melt into him, letting all of your overwhelming feelings ran freely through you, however embarrassing it may be.

"I never believed in fate... But, Y/N, with you? I refuse to think that it is a mere coincidence. We were meant to be. You always made me see the world in a different light. I should have guessed on this possibility earlier. My only regret is that I didn't give you anything in return... But now, I have all the time in the world to give back what I couldn't before. I'll be forever grateful to fate for bringing you to me, my love."

Jihyun

"C'mon, we're getting pretty close now!" You exclaimed excitedly as you tugged at your husbands hand, pulling him along through the grassy field.

Your response was a breathy laughter, while he tried his best to keep up with your fast-paced steps that were now bordering on a full-on sprint. Still, he made no attempt to slow you down or let go of your hand, instead merely enjoying the chance to see you this bright and bubbly. You were like a ray of sunshine, burning brightly with its eagerness to spread the light it loved so much to everyone around it.

Besides, a little bit of workout was just what he needed at times!

"Honey, while you know I love seeing this adorable side of you, how will you even remember where you buried it in the first place?" He asked, looking around the playground and searching for any particularly odd object lying around that could possibly serve as a clue to this mystery.

You puffed out your chest with pride, flashing him a quick wide grin that made his chest fill up with butterflies. "Don't you worry about that, my loyal assistant! My memory is excellent at documenting even the finest of details."

"Now that I beg to differ." Jihyun poised with a playful chuckle falling from his lips before he could do anything to stop it. "I distinctly remember you forgetting where you put your keys just yesterday... Or maybe it's just my own memory deceiving me?"

You were quick to choke on your own words, much to his delight. "T-thats- Ugh, that's totally different! It's a very special memory to me, so I'll have no problems remembering everything I need."

You pursed your lips in deep concentration as you looked over the green landscape, searching for something specific that he just couldn't put his finger on. Suddenly, your eyes lit up with pure joy, and before he could utter a single word, you were pulling him along once again, practically bouncing on your feet. "There! Next to that oak tree! I'm sure of it!"

And just like that, Jihyun found himself digging at the ground with a small pink toy shovel that you two borrowed from Lucy. He didn't mind getting his hands dirty. Especially not when you looked so eager to see the result of all this digging. He raised his arm to wipe the sweat off his brow as the summer heat made itself known the longer you sat under the direct sunlight. "So, what exactly is in that time capsule? I remember doing something similar with one of my drawings, so I'm very curious to see what is in that treasure that we're looking for."

You pased, raising a brow at him before replying. "Huh. Weird. It's a drawing too, actually. Not mine, though."

Jihyun felt his heart fluttering, for just one fleeting moment, before he shook off the strange feeling with one jerk of his head. And just in time for his plastic shovel to bump into something sturdy, signifying the end to your tireless digging. He quickly reached out into the small hole to grab onto the glass bottle and pull it out with relative ease.

You let a celebratory woop, clapping your hands and rewarding him with a tender kiss on the cheek. "Yes! See, I told you I knew where it was! Now, let's open it!"

He could only chuckle warmly as you grasped the bottle out of his hands and thoroughly brushed off the dirt from its smooth surface, being careful so as to not accidentally drop it out of your fingers. Leaning over your shoulder, he watched you open up the so called 'time capsule' with a distinct 'pop' as the lid was finally carelessly thrown to the side.

What laid inside was a small crumpled up paper with a blue crayon stacked neatly next to it. For the second time today, Jihyun felt his heart flutter with a weird feeling he couldn't quite put his finger on. Still, deciding to keep quiet for now, he merely watched as you delicately reached inside and pulled up the paper to lay it onto the ground.

And, as you slowly rolled it out to reveal the image doodled inside, he felt his stomach twist and turn at what he saw.

"This is..."

You cocked your head to the side innocently, just watching him touch the drawing with trembling fingers.

"Jihyun...?" You murmured, feeling genuine concern well up deep within your chest at such a strange reaction coming from him. You reached forward to gently touch his cheek, finding him quivering underneath your fingertips, making your worry that much worse. "Hey, are you okay? What's wrong...?"

"This is... y-your portrait. But it... it couldn't be you, it... it's impossible... the one with a sunflower backpack...?"

Time seemed to freeze as you registered the meaning of his words within your mind. A loud gasp escaped you, making you put both of your palms to your mouth in pure shock. You could see your own emotions reflected in Jihyun's bewildered gaze, which only amplified the raging feelings wrecking havoc inside your chest. "Oh my God... Jihyun, how could I- how could I forget something like this-!"

Before you could even think twice about it, you found yourself enveloped in his warm embrace, with your own arms squeezing him tightly in return. You could feel his body shudder with quiet sobs as your own tears dampened the fabric of his shirt. He stroke your head with a trembling hand, whispering into your ears: "This was one of the first drawings I ever did... I thought it looked so ugly, but you smiled at me with such pure joy, I found myself feeling proud of something I've created for the first time in a while. To think that it was you all along... I'm sure that you're a blessing that my mother sent to me. I will treasure you in my heart forever."

Rika

"You never told me you had any tattoos done! Is it okay if I see them?" Rika was practically buzzing with excitement, looking at you with wonder swimming in her mesmerizing emerald-green gaze, which quickly took your breath away.

God... she's just way too cute when she gets excited. And knowing that you're the source of that excitement... Well, it made your chest swell up with pride.

You smiled bashfully, scratching the back of your neck and letting out a few flustered giggles despite your attempts to hide just how much of an effect her antics were having on you. "Well... Sure, okay. They're really nothing special though... I didn't know you'd get this bubbly over them!"

She merely brushed your mumbling away with a wave of her hand, shifting a tiny bit closer to place a quick kiss to your lips that tasted faintly of vanilla and lemon cupcakes you two enjoyed just a moment prior. This was your first anniversary. What better way to celebrate it than to prepare a cozy picnic in a secluded part of the nearby park? You were more than happy to see Rika flourish through her weekly therapy sessions and tireless efforts to better herself.

This time however, she was doing this for her own happiness and no one else's. While it was still hard for her to focus on her own needs at times, you did your best to provide her with all the support she might need. Today was the day you wanted to spoil her rotten, just as she deserved.

Though, you were quickly wretched away from your sugary daydreams by a gentle pinch to the skin of your cheek as your girlfriend raised her eyebrows at you quizzically. "Is there something on my face? You've been staring at me for a while now."

You quickly flushed, stuttering on your own words as you tried desperately to justify your blatant staring. "O-oh, sorry. You just look so beautiful right now, and I guess... I sort of got lost in reminiscing about everything we've gone through so far. I-I can show you my tattoos now, if you want to, of course."

Rika blinked, processing your words inside of her head for a few moments, before her own cheeks turned into a lovely shade of pink, making her light freckles seem that much more defined, much to your delight. "You can't just change the subject like that, it's unfair!"

You chucked, returning the favor by slowly taking hold of her hand and bringing it up to your lips to leave a loving kiss on the skin on her knuckles.

"Mmm... Right. I'm sorry. I hope this kiss will be enough to forgive me, my lady."

It seems that you've won in this battle of charms, judging by the quiet flustered squealing that followed suit. She did always have a weakness for hand kisses... You smiled as you watched her ears flush the same color as her cheeks, enjoying this moment of peace to the fullest.

Calming her racing heart, Rika puffed out her cheeks at you. "Okay, now you have to show me your tattoos! That's the least you can do for bullying me with your flirting."

"Fair enough." You shrugged as you took a sip of your strawberry lemonade, before patting down a spot right next to you in a silent invitation for her to join you. Once she did as you requested, you placed your head onto her shoulder, breathing in her comforting scent and closing your eyes to relax completely. "You see, there's actually a story behind my tattoos. A silly one, sure, but it makes me feel happy up to this day."

Feeling her nod, you smiled, lifting up the fabric of your pants to reveal the skin of your legs up to your thighs. Adorning the skin were various small doodles, placed seemingly at random and not piecing together into any kind of story. At least, at the first glance. As Rika leaned down to take a closer look, you continued your tale.

"See, when I was, like, 10 or so, I broke my ankle doing stupid things that kids usually do. I was so bummed about it, that I couldn't stop crying no matter what my family or doctors did to comfort me. I think, it wasn't so much the pain itself that was making me so upset, but the notion of me not being allowed to run around for a good while. And then, this one girl saw me bawling my eyes out with my freshly made cast, and you know what she did? She told me that I had a very beautiful cast, and that she wanted to sign it for me."

You couldn't help but giggle at the memory, paying no mind to the unusual silence coming from the previously chipper Rika that was still laser focused on inspecting your tattoos. "I was so dumbfounded by her suggestion, that I instantly stopped crying. And guess what? She even drew on my cast while talking with me about this or that. I was so sad and scared that whole day, but she made me smile even despite my puffy face and sore throat. My parents were so shocked! So... I kept this cast with me until I had the idea to transfer these silly doodles from it as a tattoo! Might seem kinda sappy, but hey, it makes me happy, and that's good enough for me."

Your only response was silence, which made you tense up with worry as you glanced down at the young woman next to you, only to find her trembling like a leaf with her palm covering her mouth. You instantly shot up on your picnic blanket, scared that you might have upset her in one way another. "Rika? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Your words were nothing but a tender whisper, meant for her ears only as you carefully placed your hand onto her knee. You couldn't help but exhale shakily once you saw the tears falling from her eyes. Though, before you could speak another word, she finally found her voice, however shaky it may be.

"Y/N... That girl... It was me. I know it sounds preposterous, but- But I remember it clearly now... You had a plush puppy with you that you just kept clutching on to. You even wanted to give it to me, but I couldn't accept it because of my parents..." She raised her gaze back to your face, making it known just how sincere her words really were.

Your mind went completely blank as you tried your best to make sense of it all. "W-what-?"

You felt your breath hitch in your throat, your heart starting to beat wildly inside of your chest, your hands trembling from the overwhelming emotions threatening to overtake you any moment now. Still, once you took a second glance at Rika's quivering figure, all doubt left you seemingly in an instant. Your body moved on its own as you quickly shifted closer to her side and emraced her tightly, burying your nose into the crook of her neck.

She felt so fragile inside of your arms like that... As if one wrong move could break her. Yet, you knew better than anyone else, just how strong this amazing woman really was.

So, you just held her as she fell apart into your embrace, feeling your own tears spill onto your cheeks. Through her quiet sobs, you heard her utter her next words in a hushed half-whisper, filled with so much sorrow, and yet, laced with just as much hope. "You know... I was so miserable in that hospital. No... I was miserable wherever I went. But, on that day... I managed to make someone smile. You were so sad, but I somehow was able to bring joy into your eyes. I was so happy... And to know that something I did was so incredibly precious to you, that you kept it with you throughout all these years... It feels like I've done at least one thing right in my life. So, thank you. Thank you so much, Y/N. We were really... meant to meet at the end, isn't it?"

"Yes. We were."

#mystic messenger #mysmes #mysme #mm #jumin han #jihyun kim #rika kim #jumin x reader #jihyun x reader #rika x reader

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waterparksdrama · 11 months

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ok track by track review of Intellectual Property. GO!

as you wish anon. be warned this is literally like one of maybe 4 times i've listened to this album in full again

st*rfucker - a bit too saccharine on first listen but it has better replay value as time goes on. the beginning of the shoehorned jesus lyrics and the continuation of limo imagery to represent fame which is actually fitting admittedly bc just like a limo that is supposed to represent glamour and celebrity living, they are just as widespread and accessible as him and aren't really that glamorous at all. also this is me saying again wow he complains a lot about fame for someone who isn't really that famous. i still hate the cutoff at the end bc. cmon man. 7/10

real super dark - ok i did like the gilbert gottfried inspired melody i think that's fun actually. the song lyrics? uhhhhhh. just more complaining. if you have listened to any of the albums since fandom you are not missing much there other than the otto serial killer jokes he has inserted here? which is a choice i guess. instrumental is great tho. i feel incredibly stupid listening to a lot of the other parts of the song tho. 7/10

funeral grey - god i can't bear listening to this one on my own i'm sorry. live it's fine, but the studio recording i would rather kill myself than listen to again. IT'S SO ANNOYING. the terrible overenunciated vocals. awsten's attempt at humor by writing these wattpad fic lyrics that make me cringe to my core because i know there's a part of him being genuine. the one direction ripoff hook because he managed to get one of 1d's actual songwriters to help write the track. the only saving grace is the ending but at that point it's too late for any redemption. 2/10

brainwashed - ironically this was written with the 1d guy again and. i'm actually fine with this one LOL. it's simple and lowkey so it's considerably less annoying than funeral grey. considering awsten said the lyrics on this album were hypersexual, but it's 2023 so this is fairly tame, it just makes me wonder how much he has repressed in his psyche. 6/10

2 best friends - ok now we're back to simple annoying. if you tune out the lyrics enough, it sounds like disney channel filler music. but it's actually about ~~sExxxx~~ hahahahaha everything about this album so far is like reading fanfics clearly written by middle schoolers. awsten's sad about his situationship so he goes out with his 2 best friends to forget but it doesn't work :( but he could just fuck his friends bc it wouldn't hurt to try at this point. hey what if this was what the song was actually about that because in travis' insane songfic he made jawn and awsten hook up during this chapter #neverforget #riptravisficeventhoughmebitchingontumblrmadehimkillit 4/10

end of the water (feel) - hearing awsten try to hit those high notes reminded me of people saying brendon straining on his high notes on the last panic tour was like hearing a dog that needed to be shot out back for its own good. this is very obviously a charlie puth ripoff to the t because not only does he hit high notes that no man should ever reach, but i'm pretty sure the verse instrumentals rip off "light switch" by charlie. anyways more of "ughhhhh i'm not getting a text backkkkkk" that makes me want to throw awsten's phone into the pacific. i still don't know why kurtis conner is here and how this is supposed to relate to any of this at all. also actually now that i'm crossing checking the genius pages for these, the descriptions for these songs make them sound much better than they actually are lol. 3/10

self-sabotage - this one is mid on it's own but funny because i remember the amount of twitter discourse this song has spawned. "awsten's being toxic and misogynistic" did we not listen to some of the songs off fandom "awsten has bpd" what if he just sucks sometimes. the memories of this are more memorable than the song itself. 5/10

ritual - remember when i found out the soundbyte at the beginning was from an aids psa. good times. fine song other than the shoehorned soundbyte. the entire song is just a repetition of the verses and chorus like a ~~ritual~~ spooky! i like the flair vincente void adds with his screams i feel like this feature makes more sense because it's a song about protecting yourself from the doctrines of religion that harmed you when you were growing up and apparently vincente has known awsten since he was 13???? only thing i hate is the corpse ripoff ending so much so that i have a personal version where i edited that out. 8/10

fuck about it - BORINGGGGGG OH MY GODD. if you've heard one blackbear feature, congrats you've heard them all because they all sound the same and blackbear adds no energy whatsoever. he made a bayside instrumental sound boring you really can't underestimate him. anyways back to the song itself; the situationship has dissolved into pure sex and disinterest and annoyance outside of that and with the way awsten sounds like he plans having hate sex, i don't think he's ever had hate sex before. there's the ending synth i think is fun and that's the only reason this gets a point at all. 1/10

closer - it's a sweet song but um. haven't we heard this in a way before? *cough cough 21 questions* i think this is the closest (lol) parx comes to at a return to pre-fandom form, but when i listen to the chords too much i'm just like "did he lowkey rip off that one smashing pumpkins song". anyways it's just about needing to be closer to someone or ending the relationship completely. simple but effective but not nearly as effective as 21 questions for me sorry. 7/10

a night out on earth - ok i had physical tickets to the last tour bc i won them on idobi so i was like "THIS SONG BETTER BE AT LEAST DECENT BC I STILL HANG UP THE TICKET WITH THIS NAME" and it was at the least. it's like. a good waterparks song, but i feel like i've heard it already? my mind goes back to see you in the future but for these i can't tell who's ripping off who more lol. yeah i feel like other than some interesting production here and there it's a rehash of shit we already heard before. shoehorned religious lyric. fake ass band guys. "i turn my agony into songs and people only like when i'm hurt". "i've been dead since 2016" (part two). "i'm evil now. idgaf. wat ever."

and then i think the part that makes me go awwww but also confuses me is the im a natural blue radio interview snippet? like why does this all tie in together now. geoff's not even here bro how is this the only release where otto's the only one namedropped when awsten hasn't even named dropped him until last album. 80% the album is about some random relationship how is this supposed to tie into all of these.

idk i feel like i've just had this on my mind when when of my mutuals made their own analysis on awsten's mindsets towards life and said how he uses fear as motivation but his perfectionism keeps him from using failure as an editor and how this song was the peak example of this; the rehash of the same ideas over and over because despite his stubbornness, despite "ultimately -not- giving in to the perception that you’re worth ‘Demonizing'", he never confronts the problem for real, just compartmentalizes the problem away and doesn't truly overcome the root of his problems. that's what i feel like manifests in this album for me to be put off by it at its core. nothing ever changes, he just finds a new situation to complain at. maybe that's also why his fans never change even as new ones come though. maybe that's why we also stay stagnant in this with him.

again i get it, he's a public figure; if he did dive too deep into this and didn't choose to generalize the lyrics for his own sake, he would probably end up incriminating himself way too much and have a hard time performing some of these songs. but i can't help but wonder. if he's truly getting over a mental obstacle like that, or keeps himself so set on the future that he ignores the problems he never solved. like he always does. like he always seems to be doomed to. anyways, 7/10 song.

all in all, it's an album that tries to reach a concept of coming to terms with your sexuality and religious trauma all entwined in fame but in reality it's mostly just about a sucky situationship and awsten complaining again while putting in random religious references sometimes and the beginning and ending are about fame. my hot takes are: tennis imagery = gay sex, there's not enough of a distinction between "soulsucker" and awsten to make "album lore" when the overarching concept of parx's discography is "awsten's life sucks", and darth vader is luke's father. - iz

#i hope you liked this one anon and i hope it explains or relates to any other longtime fan's thoughts on the album #track by track

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bonny-kookoo · 2 years

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Hi can we please have home yn jealous because jk teaching her how to play https://www.instagram.com/p/CeYjKxnPMbL/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Languages are marked as always: English | Korean

It's not typical for you to get jealous.

You don't even know why you're feeling this way- maybe because he's far away from you, maybe because a staff you've considered to be your friend had been planting doubts in you- you're not sure. You know deep down Jungkook would never betray your trust like this; you're engaged after all, and he's very serious with it. But maybe the makeup artist had been right. A fellow celebrity at his side would certainly fit him better.

Maybe another idol, another singer or maybe an actress- beautiful, successful, loved by fans. His partner would be able to understand him better, aid his struggles, connect with him over the hurdles they both face. Not like you; a nobody who simply somehow got lucky and met him at the right time.

And your feelings especially get hurt when he forgets to call you at all that night, early wrapped up in his adventures with his friends. You instead go to sleep quietly, Bam laying close to the bed, sensing something wrong- and it's the first and only time you let the big pooch on the bed, laying where your fiance usually sleeps instead, young dog doing his best to soothe your worries.

It doesn't work- because your dreams are filled with your soon to be husband turning his back to you, never turning around no matter how much you call out to him.

When you get the news the next day that they've arrived at the airport to fly home, you're not as excited as you usually are. Maybe he didn't want to leave the US yet? What if he changed his mind about you both? Was the makeup noona right, and he'd realized too that house not the best fit for him?

You decide you need some distraction.

But just as you want to walk out a few hours later, you almost run into the man himself, his eyes wide as he takes in your appearance. "hello?" he asks with a bit of a smile, unsure however what this means. "you head out?" he asks confused, and you shake your head, walking back inside with him together, watching as he eagerly pets his dog- another small shot at your confidence, as you notice the lack of reaction to you compared to his pet.

"not anymore." you simply say, shrugging quietly.

He furrows his brows, rolling his suitcase to the side after telling the doberman to go lay down in his doggy bed to get out the way, before he puts his hands on your shoulders, looking at you.

"my wife not happy see me?" he asks, and chuckle a little.

"I'm not your wife yet, Jungkook." you correct him, though he's not too sure still.

"no no, not yet, but soon." he says, before you escape his grip, helping him bring his things into the bedroom to unpack.

"okay, stop." he says at that, taking your hands in his. "what did I do?" he asks, genuinely unsure what happened- before his eyes widen. "oh my god, fuck, I forgot, I'm so sorry-" he starts, but you shrug it off.

"you were having fun, it's fine." you say, unpacking hus things for him, starting to sort dirty clothes from the unused one's.

"no, it's not fine and there's no excuse. Why didn't you call me instead?" he whines.

"didn't want to interrupt anything." you say softly, and it's a moment of silence that makes you actually look uo to check why he's not answering, not even moving. When you spot his face, it's showing a look ghat you've never seen before on his face.

"you didn't think.. You know I'd ever do that, right?" he asks so quietly you barely catch it- as he comes closer with glassy eyes. "you're my everything. I'd never." he promises in a voice so fragile it sounds as if it could break any second. "it's not about me forgetting to call, isn't it? I mean- it probably contributed but it's not all there is go it, right?" he urges now, scared that something must've happened to make you doubt him so hard.

"Jungkook no, never, I never thought you'd cheat." you tell him honestly. "it's just.. Do you think we're really.. Right for each other?" you wonder, and now he just looks angry, and desperate as he holds your face in tender hands.

"I don't know who the fuck put those thoughts into your head but they-" he starts, before pecking your lips. "have-" another peck, "to-", his kisses grow longer, deeper, "leave." he finishes, resting his forehead against yours. "ok? I love you. Only you." he promises, and you nod- before he suddenly grins, lifting you up with ease before letting both of you fall onto the bed, his arms holding you tightly. "good, now let me love my soon-to-be-wife so she gets it into her head that I'll only ever have eyes for her!" he laughs, before kissing you.

And just like that, your worries dissolved into nothing but good thoughts, and warm hugs.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #home!jungkook

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katnissmellarkkk · 29 days

Text

warning : rant about a show that ended in 2017.

you know what is a bad, bad, terrible way to write a love story?

okay well i gotta get super specific with this so buckle up because it’s literally just me explaining how my last favorite couple was ruined and now i cannot even fathom or care if they even ended up together.

so okay, female character (s) dislikes male character (t) because she thinks he murdered her best friend. then s gets accused of murdering her best friend. and she realizes she may be getting framed for it. so she decides to volunteer to tutor t to try and get information out of him in case he knows more than she thinks. he doesn’t but they end up catching feelings because the actors have insane chemistry.

then skip forward some time and s breaks up with t because her stalker is threatening to kill him. and he tries to fight for her but then seemingly turns on her because he thinks she cheated (which she did not but she leads him to think so to get him to let her go). only to discover in the end he only pretended to believe she cheated so he could try to help her catch her stalker.

now skip forward time and the stalker is back. s is lying to t again to keep him from getting involved and getting hurt. but he gets mad and goes and tries to figure out what’s going on that she won’t tell him. he decides to help the stalker to try and be a double agent. it goes terrible and s finds out he’s helping her stalker and thinks t never actually loved her at all and was just pretending for the last year in order to get revenge on her for things her dead bestie did to him.

so anyways, he disappears for a while and she gets committed to a mental hospital after believing she saw his body in the woods. but then she also joins forces with her stalker in order to figure out if t is still alive. he is and he tells her he always loved her and he was just trying to help her get rid of her stalker so her life could go back to normal.

anyways other stuff happens but blah blah blah they’re the only couple on the show to not break up again until the writers decide to do a timejump in season six.

and this is where things go SOUTH.

okay, so first off s basically starts to date her best friend’s (not the dead one) ex boyfriend. and basically loses her whole personality for this terrible relationship where he doesn’t even love her back and she pretty much obsesses over him 24/7. but the only time she isn’t obsessed with him is when she’s in the same vicinity as t. like the moment t shows up she basically forgets she has a boyfriend. which is why the writers decided to only let t show up a total of eleven minutes in 10 episodes. but t also isn’t single anymore. he’s now got a serious girlfriend, y, who makes s very jealous at first.

but things then manage to get even worse. s and her boyfriend break up but then t proposes to y. and then s tells t to take y and leave town to get away from the stalker still after her. and he agrees to but before he goes, he decides to tell s that he still has feelings for her, that he maybe was even planning on leaving y to be with her, but — and this is the moment that really began to ruin them for me — he realized that he cannot imagine his life without y anymore. and that he’s choosing her, even if he still loves s.

then other things kind of occur after that but basically s gets shot by her stalker and t and y get in a car accident while trying to leave town. and so t really doesn’t care that s got shot. and all he really says is “oh i meant to call you” when she shows up to console him because y is now in a coma.

and here’s where things get to rock bottom (for me). y wakes up out of her coma and t rushes to marry her and pronounce his love for her only for her to die in front of his eyes. which okay, terrible for him. but i care much more about the whole picture here.

because now, ever since the timejump, t has actually chosen y over s at every single opportunity to do so. all the way to her death, whenever it was a choice, he chose her. and it wasn’t until she was dead and no longer an option did he begin to actually want s back.

and yeah, anyways. t and s still ended up together (offscreen) and it was supposed to be romantic but it wasn’t. in my opinion it was worse than them never getting back together at all.

because she was his second choice in every single way humanly possible and i’ll never forgive the writers for ruining my favorite couple at that time.

okay anyways rant over. that had been sitting on my mind since 2017.

and if anyone was curious, s was spencer, t was toby, y was yvonne and the show was pretty little liars.

#Samantha is ranting 😘🤍😇🙏🏻🥰#eh I’ll tag them why not #spoby #PLL #what’s it gonna hurt #pretty little liars

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djservo · 9 months

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HI CAS you managed to beat me to it and remind me that i will also be away around our typical wrap up time! travelling gals. i've seen some of your goodreads activity too and i think we've managed to keep in line with books read which does make me laugh a lil. how was your buddy read? your august reading? new vibes for autumn? i want to know everything!

omg we're so in sync I love it and I hope your traveling went/is going well!! <3 first buddy read (out of a projected total of 4) went well, as did the rest of my august reads!!

A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf

the first of the buddy-read chronicles with my buddy and it was a success! fitting for these seemingly ever-changing phases of independence/womanhood/#HoningThyCraft that we keep morphing into and within. it was a bit of a slow start and made me think of jenny slate talking about books which I sent to me friend like 5 pages in like "omg please tell me it's not all like this" but we pushed through the initial slump and were pretty engaged with the rest of it. I highlighted so many passages to chew on, some favs being -

"the beauty of the world which is so soon to perish, has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder"

"What effect has poverty on fiction? What conditions are necessary for the creation of works of art?"

the iconic -

"a good dinner is of great importance to good talk. One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well."

and even some lil funny bits -

"the chief glory of a woman is not to be talked of, said Pericles, himself a much-talked-of man"

miss woolf has jokes!! but yes overall really ended up enjoying and connecting with this more than I expected at the start and it's short/low stakes enough to where I think anyone could give it a shot and end up resonating and/or taking something deep from it

High Blood/Pressure by Michelle T. Clinton

I forget who exactly posted it, but Someone whose taste I wholeheartedly trust had posted a snippet of Good Sense & the Faithless on their insta story which first put Michelle T. Clinton on my radar. devoured this one in an afternoon, I was so hooked and charmed by her prose and the way she sets up a scene!! not necessarily setting wise, but this sense of interaction/conversation that's both natural yet distinct in tone. personable yet frank, which isn't really easy for me to pick up on when I'm first getting into poets - like I feel like I need to read several poems for their voice to really click for me because I'm too focused on connecting more superficial dots of understanding, whereas this one clicked right away. fav poem was MANIFESTING THE RUSH/HOW TO HANG but I really did love each one + I've already tracked down a used copy of Good Sense & the Faithless online that's on its way to me now hehe very excited

Looking For Mr. Goodbar by Judith Rossner

similar to Secretary where the movie's been on my radar and I've been itching to watch but the purist in me wants to read the book first and then I read the book and don't watch the movie LOL 'when you give a mouse a cookie' ass situation!! I think the story's still too fresh on my mind and if I were to watch the adaptation right away, though it would make sense for the sake of comparison, it'd feel too much like homework ykwim like in college I took a class about film adaptions of literary works where we'd get this short window of time to read a book then watch the film in class and discuss/dissect + I guess it kinda spoiled that act of reading then immediately watching, or turned it into something very clinical whereas I wanna be able to watch the adaptation for what it is without being a hypervigilant critic... ANYWHO!!!! I actually had no idea this was based on a true story/crime? so I think most of my qualms, which are narrative-wise, are kinda irrelevant since that's like.. literally what happened! that's the truth! but I guess I felt there wasn't enough explanation as to how the protag's sexual appetite/curiosities developed the way it did (unless you wanna be an armchair psychologist and connect the dots to her childhood upbringing, but I personally don't think even that's enough). I read a good chunk of it at an airport bar and it felt very fitting + I think I should start scouting my reading settings according to the book I'm reading bc it does indeed add to the ambience of the story and DRAMA of it all !!!!

since the start of September I've finished 2 books, unconnected in vibes but still somewhat complementary. I'm reading Quarry by Jane White now which is our second buddy read/the start of our "dark childhood/boyhood" theme that I think will bleed nicely into October, I really struck gold at the used bookshops during my travels but they're all kinda meaty and require some supplementary reading/context (to me) and idk if that's the vibe right now. kinda wanna stay in a fiction bubble a little while longer and there's certainly no end in sight given some of my recent TBR adds on goodreads so!! we shall see!!!

#will catch up with sims stuff soon but the pixels repulse me at the moment so pls hold x #ask #cheesehair #reads

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chicgeekgirl89 · 1 year

Text

Packing a Piece

Fandom: 911 Lone Star

Characters: Carlos Reyes, T.K. Strand

Rating: T

Summary:

“Yeah, I’m not really a talk-it-out kind of person,” T.K. mumbles around the lip of the glass as he takes a sip.

“So I’ve noticed,” Carlos tells him, a knowing smile on his face. “I believe your motto is ‘punch first, questions later?’”

“You’re never going to let that go, huh?” T.K. asks, wincing at the reminder of his recent bar brawl.

“The image of you in handcuffs, looking like a cranky, beat up alley cat? Probably not.”

A/N: I always love the early days of a ship. The will they/won't they. The longing looks. The miscommunications. Here for all of it. So when a happy little fic involving the darts scene came into my brain, I took it and ran. Also this fic has one of the dirtiest lines I've ever written, so if my mom ever finds this...I'm sorry.

Read on AO3

This was not how he’d planned to spend the evening. He glares across the room at Judd Ryder, chomping on the straw in his drink as the activity of the bar swirls around him. God, he’s literally never met someone more infuriating, someone more rude…who the hell does this guy think he is?

“Your turn.”

Carlos’ voice draws T.K. back to the game at hand and he looks up to see the other man smiling as he holds out a couple of darts. Right. He’s on a date. One he should definitely have said no to given his current fury at his teammate.

Two hours ago he’d stormed out of the firehouse and run smack dab into a firm torso.

Strong arms grabbed hold of him to keep him from toppling over. “Whoa,” Carlos said. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sorry,” T.K. said, distracted by his bad mood. He just wanted to get out of here and as far away from Judd as he possibly could.

“Trying to add assaulting an officer to your rap sheet?” Carlos asked.

That got his attention and the uncertainty must have shown on his face because Carlos smiled. “I’m kidding.”

“Right,” T.K. said. He frowned. “What are you doing here?”

Carlos actually blushed and it was so fucking cute it made T.K.’s heart skip a beat. “Oh, I, um, I…kind of came to see if you’d give me another shot.”

T.K. raised his eyebrows.

“Listen, I—I guess I wasn’t completely honest with you, or myself,” Carlos said. “The one night stand, fuck buddies kind of thing…it’s not me. And I don’t want to put any pressure on you or anything but…I like you. So I thought I would take my chances and see if you wanted to go on a date. With me. Tonight.”

The word “date” immediately made T.K. balk. That wasn’t a lifestyle he wanted anymore. Love ‘em and leave ‘em seemed like a much better, less heartbreaking option. Plus he’d already bared far more of his soul to Carlos than he was comfortable with during his brief incarceration. Better to walk away while he still had at least a little dignity left.

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” he said slowly.

“Just one drink,” Carlos urged. “Well, I mean, not a DRINK drink, obviously because…” His hands fluttered around aimlessly as he tried to recover from his verbal fumble and he let out a nervous half chuckle. “Okay I told myself I wouldn’t screw this up, but I guess I did. So, never mind. It’s fine.”

The sight of strong, brawny, hot-as-hell Officer Reyes looking for all the world timid and shy made him weak. “Okay,” he’d said before he could stop himself.

Carlos had frozen. “Really?”

How could he say no to those beautiful, soft, guileless brown eyes? And he really did kind of owe the guy after being such a dick the last couple times they’d been together.“Yeah. Sure. Let’s grab a drink or whatever.”

And now here he is, in a bar, pissed as hell, and the subject of his ire is across the room, further souring his mood. He can’t even have a date in peace. Judd “Stop Acting Like the Coach’s Son” Ryder has to ruin that too.

He needs to relax, to blow off some steam, and forget that the people working alongside him at the firehouse are the most judgmental, ass-backward, hillbillies he’s ever met. And hopefully, if he plays his cards right, there will be some blowing of other things later. Judging by the way Carlos keeps checking out his ass when he thinks T.K.’s not looking, his chances seem pretty good.

Although T.K. might ruin everything if he keeps complaining. Nobody wants a cranky lay.

“You know, if I was a less secure man, I might be bothered by the fact that I worked up the nerve to ask you out, and you’ve spent the entire night talking about another guy,” Carlos finally says after T.K. mouths off yet again.

He should apologize. But he doesn’t. Instead he presses on, practically goading Carlos into calling time of death on this miserable date over his assholery. He doesn’t deserve to be with someone as good as Carlos anyway. This is the third time in a row that he’s been a jerk to the man, and he really doesn’t understand why the guy keeps coming back for more.

A tiny voice in the back of T.K.’s mind whispers that he’s self-sabotaging yet again, but he tells it to shut up and reminds it that at least he’s not shooting up or getting the crap beat out of him to deal with it this time.

“You think he’s right?” he asks. It’s a challenge, a test, one designed to make Carlos fail so T.K. can prove to the world that he’s still a screw-up that no one could possibly ever want.

Carlos doesn’t say anything, just tosses another couple darts at the board, then waits for T.K. to go collect them.

“Do you?” he finally asks.

It makes T.K.’s blood boil. Because yeah, that is one of his greatest fears. That he’s only here because of his dad. That he’ll never be good enough on his own. And he doesn’t like anyone to push on that particularly tender part of his ego. “You know I’m holding a dart?” he says, sending Carlos a pointed look.

Carlos’ answer is immediate. “And I’m packing a piece.”

T.K. freezes in surprise at the snappy response. It’s just enough to break through his inner monologue and get him to fully pay attention to the gorgeous, completely ripped, incredibly good at sex stuff, man in front of him. “That’s hot,” he says, thoughts of Judd Ryder and his terrible day slowly melting away.

Carlos gives him a charming little smile. “Do I finally have your attention now?”

T.K. leans closer, amusement and desire swirling in his gut. “Yes.”

“Good.” Carlos cocks his head to the side and then swipes the dart from T.K.’s hand. “Because I want you fully present when I kick your ass.”

Carlos does kick his ass, not a surprise considering the man wears a gun as part of his uniform. But T.K. doesn’t do too badly either. And despite the fact that he came into this with a chip on his shoulder…it’s fun. Carlos is sweet and snarky and unbelievably good. He’s kind to T.K., the bar staff, the people who walk by. And god help him, T.K. feels something stirring inside himself that he’d thought had died on the floor of his New York apartment five months ago.

“Okay, how are you doing that?” T.K. asks when Carlos hits his sixth or seventh bullseye of the night.

“Practice,” Carlos says with a shrug. “I can show you if you want.”

He steps up behind T.K., his lips right by T.K.’s ear as he speaks. “Relax your body,” he says, his hands skimming gently over T.K.’s frame, positioning him just so. “I like to line my shoulder up with the bull’s eye.”

The warmth of his breath on T.K.’s neck causes goosebumps to rise along his skin. Carlos’ hips bump up against him and he sucks in a sharp breath. This is…beyond a turn-on.

“Then you just draw back and let it go,” he says, giving T.K. a quick pat on the ass before he steps back. “Go get ‘em champ.”

The heat T.K. was feeling seconds ago immediately turns into annoyance at the obvious reference to Judd’s words. He sends Carlos a scowl. “I’m glad my workplace harassment is funny to you.”

“Are you going to take the shot? Or should I have your dad come over here and coach you from the sidelines?” Carlos asks, a sassy grin on his face as he needles T.K.

T.K. rolls his eyes, but he draws his arm back and gives the dart a toss. It hits only millimeters off of center.

“Nice,” Carlos says. “Keep practicing and maybe next time you’ll beat me.”

Next time. Like this isn’t a one time thing. Like Carlos wants to see him again even though T.K. has tried his damndest to fuck this evening up. Who the hell is this guy?

“So I was thinking—“

“You want to get out of here?” T.K. asks, cutting him off.

“Yes,” Carlos says immediately. “Let me close our tab.”

He’s back in less than two minutes and then it’s a short drive to his place where they immediately lose themselves in an already familiar rhythm of lips and hands and teeth and skin.

“Well that was fun,” Carlos says when they’re both laid flat out on his bed, a satisfied smile on his face as he pulls his briefs back into place.

“You deserved some fun after I was such a crappy date,” T.K. tells him as he reaches for his own briefs, which have gotten hung up on a lamp.

Carlos’ face immediately drops. “Wait, you didn’t—T.K. you didn’t come over here because you felt obligated to, right?”

God this man is so damn good, it almost physically pains him. “No,” T.K. says quickly. “No, I—that’s not what I meant I was just…”

“Because if you felt like I pressured you into any of what just happened or thought I had some kind of expectation—“

“No, Carlos, it’s okay,” T.K. says, reaching out and putting a hand on his thigh for reassurance. “I was being self deprecating. I promise, I wanted everything we just did as much as you.”

Carlos relaxes. “Okay good.” He looks down at T.K.’s hand. “You’re really hard on yourself, you know that?”

“Not hard enough according to Judd,” T.K. says with a roll of his eyes, then inwardly cringes for bringing that up again. He truly is a terrible date. No wonder Alex left him for someone else.

“Have you ever thought that maybe whatever Judd is saying, it’s not about you?”

The question catches him by surprise and so does the earnestness in Carlos’ eyes. “What else could it be about?” T.K. asks.

Carlos shrugs. “His marriage. Money. His truck.”

T.K. snorts a laugh. “You think he bit my head off because he’s upset about his truck?”

“You’re in Texas now. Men love their trucks. Sometimes more than their wives,” Carlos tells him as he gets up and heads into the bathroom. “What I’m saying is, usually when people are mad, it’s about more than what they say it is.” He returns with two glasses of water, one of which he hands to T.K. “I’ve known Judd a long time. He’s a good guy. And he’s been through a lot lately. Might be worth it to try and talk it out.”

“Yeah, I’m not really a talk-it-out kind of person,” T.K. mumbles around the lip of the glass as he takes a sip.

“So I’ve noticed,” Carlos tells him, a knowing smile on his face. “I believe your motto is ‘punch first, questions later?’”

“You’re never going to let that go, huh?” T.K. asks, wincing at the reminder of his recent bar brawl.

“The image of you in handcuffs, looking like a cranky, beat up alley cat? Probably not,” Carlos says, leaning back and giving T.K. a spectacular view of all the muscles in his abdomen. The man is built like a freaking god.

“An alley cat? Seriously?” he asks.

Carlos shrugs. “I saw what I saw.”

“You’re very lucky that you’re hot,” T.K. tells him with a roll of his eyes. He takes a peek as his phone. “I should probably get going.”

“Or…”

“Or…what?”

Carlos leans forward and presses a searing kiss to his lips. “Or you could stay a little longer. And give me a new memory of you in handcuffs,” he says, soft eyes going dark and stormy.

T.K. stays.

“I had a good time tonight,” Carlos says a couple hours later as he walks T.K. to the door. He had made it very clear that T.K. could stay over but…he’s not there yet.

“Good,” T.K. says, throwing on a cocky smile. “I’d hate to think all my hard work upstairs was for nothing.”

Carlos gives him an exasperated look. “I mean the whole thing T.K. The date, the sex, all of it.”

“You are not going to tell me you think tonight falls into the category of a ‘good date,’” T.K. says incredulously. “I was being a dick the entire time.”

Carlos shrugs. “You had a rough day. It happens. I still had fun.” He steps forward and runs a finger flirtatiously down T.K.’s chest, toying with the top button of his shirt. “Besides, I like being someone who can put a smile back on your face.”

Stunned is an understatement. This is…he’s really not used to being treated like this. Like he’s allowed to have bad moments. Like maybe Carlos isn’t going to just use him and then walk away. Like maybe Carlos actually…likes him. Not just tolerates him or wants him for sex.

“Can I see you again? Maybe this weekend?” Carlos asks, that sweet, innocent look in his eyes. The one that turns the “no” in T.K.’s throat into a “yes” by the time it reaches his tongue.

T.K. nods, uncertainty shifting around inside him like the open seas in a storm. “Yeah.”

“Great.” Carlos smiles and then leans in, capturing T.K.’s lips in a soft kiss. “It’s a date.”

T.K.’s mind whirls as he slips into his cab. What the hell is happening to him?

#Tarlos #1x03 #Texas Proud #Tarlos Fic #911lsfic #Carlos Reyes #T.K. Strand #TK Strand

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