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jackiestarsister · 7 months

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OUAT Rewatch: Season 4

Episode 4x01 “A Tale of Two Sisters”

~ While the inclusion of Frozen may have been a questionable direction overall, there is no denying the brilliant casting and in-character writing of Elsa and Anna. Kristoff, though, is underwhelming.

~ Regina’s light-colored outfit suggests that she is still ultimately good.

~ Regina and Robin having their conversation in the same room where they were so romantic and intimate two episodes ago is so awkward and sad.

~ I like Belle’s yellow dress in this episode much more than the one she wore when first introduced!

~ It seems that Gold gave Belle the dagger before they began their honeymoon, possibly before they even consummated their marriage. His actions in this episode seem to ring true for the image of him being “addicted” to magic, trying to quit and maybe succeeding for a while before giving in to temptation when presented an opportunity.

Episode 4x02 “White Out”

~ The episode starts with Anna knocking on someone’s door!

~ How do David and Kristoff know each other? Neither of them seem like the sort to travel much, and apparently there is an ocean between their lands. Did the rock trolls take Kristoff on a trip to the Enchanted Forest?

~ Henry is the Anna to Regina’s Elsa in this episode. Oddly enough, Emma seems to understand Regina’s point of view, because pushing away the people she cares about is her own tendency.

~ Emma and David’s conversation in the car is a sweet and realistic moment between them as father and daughter. And David talks about walls as they’re on their way to a literal wall!

~ Grumpy/Leroy’s assertion that Snow/Mary Margaret is now the ruler sounds kind of like fanservice, like the writers listened to fans who said that should be the case.

~ Where did Anna and David get their swords? He made it clear that swordfighting was not something he practiced; did she bring them with her while traveling?

~ For David to have such a detailed backstory with his father, it seems like it should have been mentioned at some point earlier in the show. It could have tied in with his insecurities about being a good father in the previous season—especially since he turned to secretly drinking in order to deal with his nerves, when drinking was what caused his father’s downfall.

~ Out of all the dwarves, why is Happy one of those spouting complaints?

~ Why isn’t Leroy using the blackout as an opportunity to sell the nuns’ candles, like in the blackout he caused in season 1?

~ Since Snow wasn’t really present in the previous episode and has a minimal role in this one, it’s nice to see her have an outburst and stick up for herself! They really shouldn’t be bothering her when she is getting used to caring for an infant for the first time.

~ Emma and Elsa’s level of connection is great, only it seems to escalate very quickly, along with Emma’s freezing.

~ When did Emma mention Henry to Elsa? Did they talk more between scenes?

~ Despite apparently being aware of her situation, Emma doesn’t seem very concerned about the fact that she is in danger of death. I would imagine her having more fear and concern about her family, asking Elsa to tell them that she loves them and that kind of thing.

~ After lamenting that Henry would not hug her earlier, Emma gets a hug from him in the end!

~ David saying that the people in their family “really don’t like to give up” is even more significant after seeing what he was like before Anna changed him!

Episode 4x03 “Rocky Road”

~ This episode’s title is pretty apt: multiple pairs of characters are on both physical and metaphorical roads.

~ The name of Ingrid’s ice cream parlor, Any Given Sundae, is not only a pun but also refers to how she gives away Marian’s ice cream.

~ Snow and David had a court jester named Rupert?! He couldn’t have worked for them very long, since they seem to have been married for less than a year before the Dark Curse was cast.

~ Regina’s outfit and hairstyle in her first scene are way more casual than anything we’ve seen her wear before! And she’s suddenly in short sleeves though just days earlier it seemed to be winter.

~ I think Operation Mongoose and Operation Cobra together allude to “Rikki-Tikki-Tavi” by Rudyard Kipling. In that story, the hero is a mongoose and the villain is a cobra. So both names refer to Regina, first to expose her as a villain, then to prove her a hero.

~ The bird painting is funny, and in line with Mary Margaret/Snow’s interests; but how is Regina so indifferent/accepting of Snow taking over her mayoral office, like she did her kingdom?

~ If they wanted Elsa to keep a low profile, the least they could do was get her some clothes from this world. Why is her only outfit the one from the movie, when this show gives so many outfits to the other characters in each world?

~ The scene of Hans and his brothers is so horribly written; the only good thing about it is that it is short. But it could have been omitted since Kristoff recaps it to Elsa.

~ How can Granny be part of the mob blaming Elsa, after everything Red/Ruby went through? If Ruby were still in Storybrooke at this point (her absence isn’t explained until later), she and Elsa could have bonded over their experiences as magical beings whose powers are spurred by fear.

~ It’s nice to see Elsa and Kristoff interact so much, since they don’t in the movie.

~ Will Scarlet must have been in Storybrooke (or elsewhere in the Land Without Magic) for some time before this curse, if he knew that blackouts were the time for a thief to go to work.

~ What was that scene with Archie about? The decent thing for him to do in that situation would have been to offer to help Mary Margaret get the carriage into the car, and/or tell her about the danger Elsa was in from the townsfolk. It doesn’t seem to me like Snow needs to let go of her newborn; what she needs is support from other people, instead of trying to handle everything about mayorhood and motherhood herself! And they gave Archie a “Let It Go” reference?!

~ Regina and David’s words to Emma, and her saying she doesn’t feel able to save anyone, seem like telling rather than showing a conflict. There’s no real support for it onscreen.

~ Elsa and Hook’s conversation is great!

~ Ingrid does the same thing to Elsa that Cora did to Regina, framing her in order to make people turn on her so she’ll think she can never have their trust.

~ Regina casually sending Henry to fetch something from her vault shows that they’ve come a long way from the time Henry almost got himself killed while sneaking in there.

~ Why is Emma at Granny’s at the end of the day? She seemed to be living with her parents again, not staying at the B&B. Did she go there to get dinner by herself, or to talk to someone?

~ Throughout the show, Hook and his acquaintances refer to his knack for survival, yet he has many close brushes with death. This kind of goes along with how the ticking crocodile, a symbol of inevitable death, stalks him in Peter Pan.

~ This episode has some good storylines in it, but there are extra scenes that make it feel scattered or convoluted. It could have been streamlined by deleting some scenes, like the ones about hunting for Elsa and Archie talking to Snow.

Episode 4x04 “The Apprentice”

~ Why is the Sorcerer’s Apprentice so old? Is there no way to graduate from that role?

~ If the Apprentice has faced other Dark Ones before, he should know that a sword would not kill them. So either his sword was enchanted, or it was just an act to stall him.

~ This is the second time anyone has asked Henry what he thinks about Emma’s love interests, and both times, he prioritizes her happiness over his own feelings. This is even more impressive now, since he just recently lost his father. With both Walsh and Hook, he encourages Emma to pursue love and happiness.

~ Did Henry go off somewhere else while Emma asked Hook out?

~ Anna in the flashbacks and Hook in the present both make deals that they shouldn’t with Rumplestiltskin.

~ What I want to know is, what did Emma and Hook talk about over dinner? Was he able to calm down enough to carry a normal conversation? What do they talk about when they’re not solving a mystery or handling a crisis? Evidently they enjoy each other’s company enough to want more of it, but it would be nice to see them connect when they have time and space to themselves.

~ The scene of Regina and Henry … doesn’t really make sense. It’s like they chose him at random to verbalize what Regina and the audience are thinking, and then she just dismisses it based on his young age.

~ The Storybrooke radio mentions Rip Van Winkle wanting music “to wake up to”!

~ Did Hook spend the whole night drinking and/or sleeping on the docks? Poor guy!

~ How would someone in the Enchanted Forest know the phrase “fully charged”? Did Rumplestiltskin have foreknowledge of this world’s technology?

~ The fact that Henry doesn’t simply ask Gold directly about the Author suggests that he does not actually trust him.

Episode 4x05 “Breaking Glass”

~ Is Emma the judge and jury for all criminals in Storybrooke? It’s a bit autocratic to have her be the one person to decide someone’s sentence, and for it to be so arbitrary.

~ When Hook says he is taking Henry sailing, he obviously doesn’t mean the Jolly Roger since he no longer has it. What kind of craft do they sail instead, and to whom does it belong?

~ I’m glad to see they at least got Elsa a decent cloak … or maybe she made it for herself with her magic, since it’s the same style as her signature dress.

~ “You screw someone over, there’s no getting them back.” This sounds contrary to some of Emma’s experience: she and Hook ended up together despite all the times they betrayed each other.

~ When did Regina and Robin have time for someone to take their picture?!

~ Josh Dallas’ character mentioning Asgard offhandedly is hilarious, since he played Fandral in Thor!

~ This episode almost feels like Frozen II in that most of the characters end up lost in the woods.

~ Lily soliciting that promise from Emma feels pretty contrived, considering they’ve only known each other for about a day. I guess the reasoning behind it was that Lily didn’t want Emma to think badly of her if they were caught and her secret was revealed.

~ “I’m going to build a snowman” never sounded so ominous!

~ It makes sense for Snow to suspect that David set up an adventure for her, because that’s exactly what he did in Episode 3x2.

~ Regina says “before it’s actually winter,” but it seemed like they were in winter just a few weeks earlier.

~ It’s great to see Sidney finally stand up to Regina’s abuse, but it happens at the least convenient time for Emma!

~ How is Elsa able to break her chains of fear so easily?

~ Part of what I dislike about Emma’s backstory with Lily is that it kind of lessens the importance/impact of her backstory with Neal. It means that Lily was the first person she was on the run with and who let her down, rather than Neal.

~ Force choking? Really?

~ It’s a bit odd that Regina’s bad feelings toward Emma are now fixated on Marian, when she had plenty of grievances prior to that.

~ What Elsa says to Emma about never giving up on people sounds like how Hook never gave up on Emma despite her friendzoning him and trying to leave.

~ “I don’t want to kill you.” “See? That’s a start.” That’s actually a great bit of dialogue, only it might have done better for an enemies-to-lovers storyline like Emma and Hook’s.

~ When did Emma learn about Will’s escape, and how did she react? I’m guessing David probably told her via text or phone call.

~ Why does Emma have her box of childhood belongings at the sheriff’s station? Is the loft too crowded with Elsa staying there?

~ Where was the box when Emma was on the run with Neal and serving time in Phoenix? Did she bring it with her to New York, or did it disappear and reappear with the curses?

~ “Reflective today, are we?” is more true than Hook realizes, considering the mirrors in this episode!

~ “I’d love to know more about your beginnings.” Funny when you know the name of their song in the musical episode!

Episode 4x06 “Family Business”

~ David said they searched Ingrid’s business and home. If Ingrid wanted Emma to find that file, why didn’t she simply leave it in her home so they would find it sooner?

~ That lacy version of Belle’s blue and white outfit is so pretty!

~ Belle is doing the same thing to Elsa about Anna that Hook did to Ariel about Eric in Episode 3x17, withholding information about a newcomer’s missing loved one because they are ashamed of what they did to them.

~ Anna’s suspicion of Ingrid is similar to Amethyst’s suspicion of Bismuth in Steven Universe: they both question why a long-lost relative was never mentioned by their family’s leader.

~ It’s a little odd how various princesses in this show meet and become friends without even mentioning to each other that they are princesses!

~ It seems that Belle learned about Rumplestiltskin’s existence and power from Anna, but Anna did not reveal his name, so Belle “did some reading” and learned more about him before returning to her home.

~ In the scene where Belle pulls out Rumple’s (fake) dagger, her scarf has a pattern of daggers printed on it!

~ Emma saying that the longest she ever stayed in a foster home was six months contradicts what she said in Episode 3x05 about counting the days in each new home until it seemed pointless.

~ Looks like Emma has had fair artistic abilities since she was a kid. Does that make art something she had in common with Milah and Baelfire?

~ Did Emma start her file of Henry’s projects in Storybrooke, or during their time in New York? The latter would probably make more sense, but the former would have been a huge sign of growth in her relationship with him.

~ Why does Belle not even tell Gold that she met Anna? He can probably piece it together since Belle mentions the hat, which Anna took from him.

~ Why does Belle need to go to the rock trolls to get her memories back? Why not find someone more local to make her a remembering potion, like the one Zelena made?

~ Watching Belle and Rumple’s scenes when she is so emotional and trusting of him is downright painful.

~ How could that heraldry record exist if the royal family wiped out all records of Ingrid’s existence?

~ Hearing Ingrid’s plan laid out at the end really makes her seem like a psychopath. Is she supposed to be mentally ill, like a stalker going after someone they’re convinced they are in love with?

Episode 4x07 “The Snow Queen”

~ The opening flashback is way too saccharine, and the dialogue in the second half is way too fast.

~ Is Regina’s vault just open for anyone to walk into now?

~ What went wrong with Emma and Elsa testing the candle? Did they mean to neutralize Elsa’s powers as a test?

~ It’s canon that Emma babysits her brother!

~ I love that the local princesses—Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella—are all in the same mother-baby group! And I love Aurora’s modern outfit!

~ Ashley making a joke out of the “Cinderella” story is a bit odd since Rumplestiltskin was the one who served the role of fairy godmother. Did she even have a pumpkin carriage?

~ The dialogue and drama in that scene is just so contrived. Up to this point, Emma hasn’t expressed anything like jealousy or anger toward her parents for wanting/having another kid. It seems random for it to come out now, without any prior setup.

~ Emma telling Elsa not to let emotions get the better of her, when she is about to do just that …

~ Emma jokingly/casually calling Ingrid “sister” really isn’t appropriate given the context!

~ I love the scene with Regina and Henry, but why has it taken this many episodes for him to begin his job in Gold’s shop?

~ Emma says her family spans three generations in 400 years. Where does that number come from?

~ David and Hook look at each other as they reach the same conclusion and realize the danger Emma is in. Like in “White Out,” they are on the same page when it comes to Emma’s safety.

~ Robin Hood missing his target? Even if it’s darts instead of archery, that’s hard to believe!

~ Robin and Will’s conversation is … interesting. It sounds like it could fit multiple characters and relationships in the show, which makes me wonder how much it needed to be them.

~ The story of how Robin and Marian met sounds like it could have been its own flashback episode.

~ Gold shows a lot of trust in Henry’s self-control. Putting that particular kid in a shop full of magical items is like having an ordinary kid watch over a candy shop!

~ Young Ingrid’s fear of hurting others doesn’t hold as much weight as Elsa’s. Ingrid is only shown losing control when a bad person was threatening her loved ones; it was self-defense. Elsa on the other hand hurt her sister because they were careless while playing.

~ Did Emma even realize that she was trapped inside the sheriff’s station? Did she not hear the others calling out to her? And why was she left to interrogate Ingrid alone, without any other witnesses or magical backup?

~ Ingrid taunting Emma is totally like Satan, playing on people’s deepest insecurities, talking them into despair. Her words are probably things Emma has thought herself, only she might not have let herself dwell on them.

~ Emma’s internal, emotional conflict about struggling to control her magic seems to come out of nowhere. She and the other characters have talked about her need to learn more about it and/or embrace it, but that has usually been about her underutilizing it, not being able to tap into it. There has been little to no setup to establish her not being able to keep it in check.

~ David pushes Hook out of harm’s way! But Snow … how could you say “Emma” in such a “how could you” tone?

~ Why is young Ingrid dressed in that over-the-top sparkly outfit in this flashback? It visually conveys her ice magic, but at that point she is still trying to suppress her powers.

~ Ingrid barely displayed any of her magic in front of Wesselton. Why does he automatically assume everyone would hate her for her magic? Do they not have any good practitioners of it in Arendelle or the surrounding lands?

~ Helga’s end is pretty horrifying. Is it supposed to have happened more quickly than Anna’s freezing because Ingrid’s powers are greater?

~ How can Gerda suddenly slap such a dehumanizing label as “monster” on Ingrid? She must realize that it was not ill will that caused the accident. Maybe Ingrid giving up the ribbons made her think Ingrid did not care as much about their bond as she once did?

~ Overall, the relationships between sisters in this show—mostly Ingrid, Helga and Gerda, but also Elsa and Anna, and Zelena and Regina—feel shallow, like they were written by men who don’t really understand the dynamics of sisterhood.

~ Robin’s conclusion, and his decision to throw his morals to the wind and go to Regina, doesn’t really make sense.

~ That shot of Ingrid admiring her magic mirror—or admiring her reflection in it, I can’t tell—isn’t needed. It would have been a more fitting transition to show Emma alone and guilty, then cut to young Ingrid alone and guilty.

~ What does “we’ve looked everywhere” mean? Even for a small town, that would be difficult to achieve and would require a coordinated search with many people.

~ This whole episode feels somewhat haphazard. Then again, so does this half of this season.

~ The absence of the usual supporting/minor characters is also noticeable. Why doesn’t Archie offer his services to help Emma work through her sudden fear of her powers?

Episode 4x08 “Smash the Mirror – Part 1”

~ It makes sense for Henry to be the one to approach Emma, have no fear of her, and even deny the significance of any injury she causes. But him running away without a word doesn’t sit right; he would have at least said something like “I’m not giving up on you.”

~ Why couldn’t Emma ask Gold for something like the cuff that neutralizes one’s magic temporarily? That would be a much better way, since she does occasionally (but with increasing frequency) need her powers in order to protect her loved ones and defeat her enemies.

~ Even if she trusts Gold now due to him being Henry’s grandfather, Emma should know better than to think he would help her without asking something in return.

~ Why is Elsa wearing her gloves (apparently given to Ingrid by Rumplestiltskin) in these flashbacks? She didn’t have them in the earlier ones.

~ Cool use of the broken mirror in the cinematography, having Anna and Elsa appear in different pieces of the glass.

~ Why is frozen Hans still intact, whereas frozen Helga disintegrated?

~ This is the second time Robin has mentioned Friar Tuck. I want to see this Merry Man! On that note: Sundays would be the least likely day of the week for a Christian to be sober, since Sunday is a day of celebration like Easter; even people who are fasting may break their fast on that day.

~ Did Hook ride in the back of David’s pickup truck while they searched for Emma? That’s kind of amusing to imagine!

~ David couldn’t have taken that picture, because he’s in it!

~ Is “Anton the Giant” an homage to Andre the Giant? If so, I approve!

~ While Emma is trying to get rid of her powers, Henry bemoans the fact that he has none. He really should have had a larger role in trying to convince her to embrace her magic rather than run from it; that has been his role ever since he came into her life.

~ What kind of queen has to sneak around her own castle? Does Elsa not have as much political/legal power as Ingrid now?

~ Hook’s phone message scene is heartbreaking, in the best way possible! His emotions are so raw, yet his integrity and good heart shine through. And I loved the way his music theme played at the end as he realizes where he has to go!

Episode 4x09 “Smash the Mirror – Part 2”

~ Does Elsa just walk in those high heels everywhere? Even over a distance most others would drive?

~ Snow and Regina’s conversation is interesting, but it feels wrong for them to be discussing that when they should be urgently searching for Emma.

~ “If you do good hoping to be redeemed, is it really good?” That’s a very good question, probably one of the better points of reflection in this show!

~ Of course Will “gets” the Evil Queen type!

~ Gold and Emma’s scene is fascinating, but also painful to watch. There’s so much vulnerability but also so much manipulation. They are much like Pan and Henry in season 3, with the villain trying to convince the hero to give up their power to them. Gold seems to be making a confession to Emma, since he thinks she won’t be around much longer. Emma actually thanks him, something she’s never done before.

~ The scene of Elsa talking down Emma and explaining the necessity of self-love is so beautiful and powerful.

~ It’s great to see Elsa being proactive and heroic, rather than just being the cause of a crisis as in Frozen and the first few episodes of this season.

~ “I’ll take that risk if you will.” That scene has way more sisterly love than all the mentions of “my sister” between Elsa and Ingrid and their respective siblings.

~ This is the second time Rumple attempts to take Killian’s heart; the first time, Milah stopped him. He also experienced Cora controlling him via his heart.

~ I don’t really buy the worldbuilding they tried to make around the storybook, but Robin and Regina’s scene in the library is quite good, especially as she says she owes Snow a quarter!

~ Emma’s smile after she makes the fireworks is so sweet: she’s proud that she was able to use her magic that way! That’s a great shot of the five of them looking up at the fireworks. The only odd thing is that Emma does not notice Hook’s absence from that lineup.

~ How could the Sorcerer’s Apprentice just conjure a doorway to the Land Without Magic? If it were that easy, why did it take Rumplestiltskin centuries to create a Dark Curse for the same purpose?

Episode 4x10 “Fall”

~ A whole episode is a pretty long time between a curse being enacted and taking effect, especially since they keep looking at the coming cloud.

~ It’s a small thing, but I like how Emma delegates everyone’s tasks, and finds one for Hook that is suited to his area of expertise.

~ What was it that caused Arendelle to thaw out in the present day, after being frozen for 30 years?

~ Gold’s words about choosing himself over everyone else sounds exactly like Hook’s attitude up until the end of season 2. That probably makes it even more detestable to Hook, because it reminds him of how he used to be.

~ This episode totally rehashes the stakes and twist of the season 2 finale, where the heroes have to decide whether to risk the town to save one person, and someone does a sleight-of-hand/bait-and-switch passing off an empty pouch while withholding the item that their fates depend on.

~ Shouldn’t Tinker Bell be among the fairies? She was in Storybrooke after the second curse, and after that no one could leave due to the flying monkeys. There was only a small window of time between Zelena’s defeat and the appearance of the ice wall; might she have left Storybrooke then to take her chances in a Land Without Magic?

~ Hiding and crawling on her hands and knees seems unbecoming of the Blue Fairy. Even if her magic is not comparable to that of the hat, I would at least expect her to fight in defense of her fairies. As Mother Superior, the other nuns are her spiritual daughters.

~ Hook feels so guilty and ashamed of doing that to the fairies and having to hide it from Emma!

~ Hook is so genuinely indignant and disgusted with Gold for Belle’s sake, seeing how dishonest he is with his loving wife. I think it may point to their different priorities: Hook is self-sacrificing and would choose love over power any day, whereas Gold either chooses power over love, or tries (and fails) to have both.

~ Gold explicitly goes against his own advice to Regina in Episode 2x17, that “You can’t have everything.”

~ Snow’s “both of you” means she was addressing both Emma and Elsa about their magic!

~ When told that he is going to die, Hook’s last voluntary action is to see Emma again!

~ Regina telling Henry “I wish I was as brave as you” is beautiful!

~ If Regina really wanted to keep herself contained for others’ safety, her vault would not be the best place, as she would be surrounded by powerful objects there that she could then use.

~ That montage at the end, showing the various ensemble characters waiting/watching in different places, is great!

Episode 4x11 “Shattered Sight”

~ They completely gloss over the fact that Ingrid made a life for herself in the Land Without Magic. What was it like for her to finally be like other people, without the powers she had feared for so long? And why did she expect Emma’s magic to come out in such a land?

~ In a show where the power of love is so often the solution to problems, it seems dissonant for the heroes to seek out strong hatred as a means to counteract such magic.

~ Emma compares her relationship with Hook to the relationship Regina could have had with Robin!

~ Hook’s fall is so fake!

~ Even while under the Shattered Sight spell, Mary Margaret and David still love their baby!

~ Did the sorcerer’s scroll allow Ingrid to get past Storybrooke’s magical protection?

~ One of the biggest plot holes: Why did Ingrid wait so long after Emma came to Storybrooke before enacting her plan?

~ Is David still trying to help Mary Margaret when she fights Regina?

~ That letter is waaay too long and too neatly written for Gerda to have drafted it in that scene of the storm at sea.

~ The role Anna plays in this climax is similar to that of Frozen: when the magical sister cannot stop the storm, she comes in and risks her own life to show love.

~ The fact that the spell can only be broken by killing the person who cast it … just doesn’t sound or feel right for this show. Ingrid’s death is completely unnecessary, and even contradictory, from a thematic standpoint.

~ Ingrid’s “conversion” moment and her decision to reverse the spell are way too rushed.

~ The fact that Snow White and the Evil Queen can laugh at themselves for fighting each other is pretty remarkable, considering their history.

~ The reunion scene is lovely, but why doesn’t Emma think of Hook? The last she knew, he was going to chain himself to the docks; shouldn’t she think to check on him?

~ Did Belle just sleep through the entire spell?

~ Gold’s parting words to Hook make him realize just how terrible a scourge the Dark One would be on that world.

Episode 4x12 “Heroes and Villains”

~ Emma sounds like a Jedi saying “I sense …”

~ Regina is back to wearing vivid primary colors! I love her blue coat and cable-knit sweater.

~ When has Marian had time, since waking up, to see the way Robin and Regina look at one another?

~ Hook speaks as though he believes in reincarnation, while Gold alludes to Hell and/or the Underworld.

~ Is that a Winnie-the-Pooh bear that Henry picks up in Gold’s shop?

~ Why did Henry bring the book to Gold’s shop, other than to remind the audience of Operation Mongoose? Was he finally going to ask Gold directly about how it works? That interaction with Belle really feels like it doesn’t have any foundation.

~ An animal leading a heroine off the path, into the woods, feels very fairy tale-esque.

~ Emma’s surprise at Hook makes sense: while he is resourceful, magic is not his area of expertise, and the idea of Gold helping his old enemy without a price is bizarre.

~ Hook wants so much to warn Emma, or just to hold her one last time, he manages to squeeze her hand despite Gold controlling his words and most of his actions!

~ When Rumplestiltskin looks for Belle in the flashbacks, was that the first time he called her by name? And was that message in the shell the first time she called him “Rumple”?

~ This probably wasn’t intentional, but Rumplestiltskin’s outfit in this episode is similar to Hook’s old style, with a black coat and red vest.

~ Until now, Gold and Regina have hardly seen each other this season! They’ve had maybe one scene where they were in the same place with a bunch of other people, but this is their first one-on-one. It may have been primarily to find out why Henry was snooping in his shop, but it also seems evidence that on some level he truly cares about Henry and Regina. That hand squeeze at the end is sweet.

~ Gold’s hubris is on full display in his monologue to Regina.

~ How can Robin leave behind his Merry Men? Are they disbanded now? The Sheriff of Nottingham is in Storybrooke, but are there poor people to steal for? Would Emma let them?

~ Regina ripping up the page underscores her despair of her happiness. Yet, she still chooses to do the good/right thing. Her willingness to do what’s right despite still having a “villain’s fate” may make her one of the most heroic characters in this show.

~ Cruella being in the Enchanted Forest and allied with Maleficent and Ursula makes no sense whatsoever. She came from a 20th-century Land Without Magic, not a magical medieval land.

~ “If anyone’s going to crush your heart, it’s gonna be me.” Such sad foreshadowing!

~ Emma should be thanking Elsa, not just the other way around! Elsa helped her learn to love herself and embrace what makes her unique.

~ Rumple/Gold did choose Belle over power when he exchanged the gauntlet for her.

~ Gold is left in a pretty pathetic condition, without even a cane to support his now-returned limp.

~ The “chocolate” in unison is a cute tribute to Frozen, but feels out of place in that conversation.

~ It seems strange for Anna to be wearing gloves as part of her outfit. They’re a symbol of Elsa’s repression, and Anna has always been openhearted.

~ They cut from a wedding to Emma restoring Hook’s heart!

~ Considering how much time was spent on Gold having Hook’s heart and planning to kill him, and what a big deal Emma made about the possibility of losing him, their recovery of his heart and their reunion kiss are way too fast. And how can Emma leave him behind so quickly to hang out with Regina and Henry?

~ If Emma truly believes that “everyone deserves their happy ending,” why was she just drinking to Gold’s misery?

~ I imagine Henry, inspired by movies like Young Frankenstein, must have tried turning every sconce in the manor in order to find the secret passage!

~ How could the fairy-tale characters be aware of their being in “stories” even in the Enchanted Forest as their stories were still unfolding?

Episode 4x13 “Darkness on the Edge of Town”

~ I really don’t like how the characters suddenly own up to labels of “villain.” It would make more sense, and not change the script much, if they instead said “people consider us villains.”

~ Throughout the show, it seems as though the writers reinforce the labels of “hero” and “villain” even as they try to transcend them. It’s confusing and inconsistent.

~ The montage at the start of this episode is a nice way to show what the characters have been up to during the six-week time jump. This, apparently, is when Regina and Snow go back to being mayor and teacher respectively.

~ I wish more of the show took place during periods of peace, just showing the characters’ lives and mini-adventures when they aren’t being threatened by “big bad” villains.

~ Where is David in the first half of this episode? He’s the only main character not shown in the opening montage. If he’s not working for the sheriff’s department or taking care of baby Neal, how is he spending his time?

~ While I like both scenes, there isn’t much emotional transition from the peace and happiness of the montage to Hook’s intense frustration in the following scene.

~ While some parts could have been better written, I really like that Hook and Belle have a scene together, talking about the guilt they feel in connection to Gold. Despite their messy histories, they’ve actually become friends, who understand and encourage each other.

~ What does Belle think Gold could possibly have found, after being stripped away from her and from his power?

~ That scene of Rumple and the trifecta was really unnecessary. No new information was given, nothing developed in the plot or relationships.

~ After all that talk about needing a translation, Regina doesn’t even speak any incantation. And why is she trembling so much while clutching the Dark One dagger afterwards?

~ How do none of them notice the dark thing that comes out of the hat/box?

~ This episode suggests that Rumple didn’t make the Dark Curse himself, just modified one that already existed.

~ Rumple in flashbacks sounds less like his old, impish self, and more like his Gold counterpart.

~ It makes sense for Hook to be shown harboring insecurities, uncertain of whether he belongs with the “heroes,” even after the fairies are freed. While it is not resolved in this episode, it shows continuity throughout the season (and into the next two).

~ It seems a little insensitive to have the welcome-back party for the fairies in the same place where they were captured.

~ I really like Regina’s line about “what’s killing property values this time.” They’re so used to magical mayhem, it’s no longer a complete shock when something happens!

~ It is funny, and fitting, that they all have their roles figured out for when crisis strikes. Mary Margaret’s line about “getting everyone to safety” makes me wonder if they have actual evacuation plans in case of emergencies.

~ Why was Ursula needed for Rumple’s heist? Just to reach over a distance with her tentacles?

~ Trust is a big theme in this episode, but it’s murky when the villains are the ones throwing the word around. Emma also says “Trust me” to both Hook and Regina.

~ There should be some kind of system or protocol for when a “villain” wants to enter Storybrooke. No one is really held accountable for their past crimes, and there could be people already in town who have history with newcomers. Maybe there could be some sort of probation process?

~ Mary Margaret’s lines at the end of the episode are blatantly out-of-character. I know that’s the point, but … come on.

Episode 4x14 “Unforgiven”

~ I can’t decide what’s more OOC for Snow and David: the fact that they did something horrible in the first place, or the fact that they are so focused on hiding it after the fact.

~ I don’t like it when drama is pinned on characters hiding some secret, and there is too much of that going on here.

~ Flashback Snow and David already show their willingness to compromise their values, when they don’t do anything about Maleficent killing those guards.

~ Hook is so sweet and supportive, bringing Emma the lunch she was craving! Oddly, their music theme plays over the ending of the scene, when they’re in an awkward stalemate over him not wanting to share about his past with Ursula.

~ Honestly, given Hook’s reputation and his evasiveness on the subject, I’d expect Emma to suspect him of having a romantic history with Ursula sooner.

~ “Is this really the right thing to do?” David’s response doesn’t actually answer the question. Keeping the truth from Emma is their goal, and may be in their best interests, but that doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. And Snow asks another version of the very same question in the next scene.

~ Regina and Marco’s scenes are great! It’s a wonder that she hasn’t had more interactions like that with the various townspeople. And when she apologizes, showing empathy and humility, she receives kindness and encouragement in return, just like a heroic protagonist would.

~ Does Belle now run both the library and the pawnshop? How does she balance both jobs? And why would she keep the pawnshop running? I can understand having a sort of custodian since it’s full of magical objects, but aren’t many of them really the belongings of other people in the town?

~ It’s great to see Belle immediately assert herself when her former enemies show up! She wants so much not to be a pushover. I just wish she succeeded more often, instead of so easily being hoodwinked by other characters.

~ I’m not a fan of the whole trope of the heroes playing into the villains’ hands through an elaborate ruse. In this case, Cruella had no guarantee that David would search her car, find the trinket, and decide to go after Maleficent’s ashes.

~ “I only care about one thing: your pain.” The following episodes disprove this.

~ Emma shows a lot of maturity and growth in her second scene with Hook. It’s heartbreaking that that newfound optimism and confidence in her loved ones is what prompts her parents to persist in lying to her, in order to preserve that image.

~ Mary Margaret’s voiceover monologue overlapping scenes of various other characters feels like one of Jenny Lee’s voiceovers in Call the Midwife.

~ Where the heck did Belle and Will’s romance come from? The only time they saw each other before this was when she found him passed out in the library. And how can she be so quick to open herself to a new relationship after her short-lived marriage to Gold?

~ Mary Margaret asking Regina to keep a secret from Emma could have been a real test of friendship and integrity, but it doesn’t really amount to anything over the later episodes.

Episode 4x15 “Enter the Dragon”

~ The timeline of this episode does not fit with what Aurora described in Episode 2x01.

~ Does Storybrooke have its own railway system? Or did Cruella drive them somewhere outside the town to find that train crossing?

~ The whole test seems like something out of Rebel Without a Cause.

~ It’s interesting to see Regina have a “never meet your heroes” storyline with Maleficent in the flashbacks. Usually that kind of interaction is used for heroic characters who need to be called back into a fight.

~ The question that seems to be emerging from this half-season is: How far are the characters willing to compromise their values in order to preserve their reputation (either for good or for evil)? Snow and David cross lines in order to protect Emma’s goodness and their own image; and Regina goes along with the witches’ schemes, even going so far as to kidnap Pinocchio, in order to maintain trust with them.

~ Did King Stephen not recognize Regina as King Leopold’s wife?

~ It’s interesting that Gold uses a ruse that relies on Belle trusting Hook, who he hates. It’s so sad to see Gold take advantage of their newfound friendship.

~ I wonder if Gold/Rumple impersonating Hook is meant to show how similar they are. The cinematography cutting between the two of them is great, conveying the transformation without any special effects.

~ Gold (disguised as Hook) and Belle echo the vow they made when she agreed to stay with him: “You have my word” / “You have mine.”

Episode 4x16 “Poor Unfortunate Soul”

~ This show basically splits the (back)story of The Little Mermaid in half, giving the romance to Ariel and the father-daughter/human-merpeople conflict to Ursula. It’s interesting that Hook betrays both of them in some way, but reconciles with them later.

~ It seems that Hook and his crew didn’t just stay in Neverland for however many years; Pan allowed them to leave in order to pick up supplies for him.

~ Hook is justifiably angry about how Gold used his likeness and deceived Belle.

~ (Spoiler alert:) The episode drops the first hints that either Hook or Emma could become the Dark One!

~ I LOVE the version of “Fathoms Below” that Ursula sings! As fun as it is in its sea shanty version, it sounds beautiful as a ballad, and could even be a lullaby.

~ It took me a long time to figure out that Hook finding the Jolly Roger in a bottle was a nod to Jack Sparrow finding the Black Pearl in a similar condition! I guess that’s what happens when Blackbeard takes over your ship.

~ You can see the shift in young Ursula’s demeanor when she and Hook strike a new, less charitable bargain.

~ Hook’s decision to take Ursula’s voice … doesn’t really make sense.

~ Snow White pulled a Rapunzel, using a frying pan to knock out Cruella!

~ Emma looks at Hook with such pride, like, “You did that! You caused a happy ending!”

~ Hook’s final conversation with Emma is so beautiful! He is still full of insecurities about his past, his hero/villain identity, and his future. Him telling Emma that she is his happy ending is just like Flynn Rider telling Rapunzel that she is his new dream. For as long as it takes Emma and Hook to say “I love you,” they find many other wonderful ways to make their feelings clear to each other.

~ If Ursula and Ariel never met, how did Ursula gain her reputation as a villain? Did she ever do anything actually bad?

~ Does Ursula keep her tentacles, or return to a mermaid tail after reconciling with her father?

Episode 4x17 “Best Laid Plans”

~ This is the episode that is most self-contradictory about the theme of free will.

~ The fact that Snow refers to their child as “it” instead of “she,” even after seeing that the baby will be a girl, is very telling.

~ Parents afraid of their child growing up to be a threat to them is very mythical. In Greek myth this happens with Ouranos, Kronos, and Zeus, as well as Laius, the father of Oedipus.

~ Putting a whole town under a sleeping curse seems to be Maleficent’s MO

~ What makes Isaac’s introduction so convincing is that he seems to serve the kind of role that is typical of folk tales and episodes alike: the guide providing exposition and offering advice to the protagonist(s).

~ “We’ve gone too far own this path.” = The rationale for most characters who start down a dark path and persist because they think the can’t go back.

~ How did they not see any potential danger in banishing darkness into the offspring of a villain/part-time monster? Wouldn’t that make them an even more dangerous threat?

~ Maleficent is far too nice in this show. She’s supposed to be the mistress of all evil, but she seems like a softie.

~ I find it hard to believe Maleficent couldn’t overpower Snow and Charming as they fled. And why would she not go after them during the months remaining before the Dark Curse was cast?

~ Gold and Belle’s scene is so bittersweet. What else does Gold refer to as “changing”?

~ Although they throw around semi-religious terms rather clumsily, the scene of Snow and Charming resolving to do better in the future is pretty beautiful.

~ It’s nice to see Mary Margaret acknowledge that Regina is becoming their friend. That has been increasingly evident this season, mostly in small moments like that one.

~ How long was that sleeping spell in effect? Did David and Mary Margaret come home to find Emma asleep on top of Hook?

~ Mary Margaret saying “I’m your mother” is kind of out of nowhere.

~ Even though it’s a small thing, it’s nice to see Hook have an arc of accepting August as Emma’s friend. Being comfortable with your significant other having friends of the opposite sex shows trust and maturity.

~ Is no one concerned about Regina apparently missing? And where is Henry when his grandparents come clean?

~ Why are none of the Authors that August alludes to female? They could have easily included Scheherazade, which would have provided a connection to Aladdin and the other Arabian Nights tales.

~ Apparently despite all the time they’ve spent looking for the Author, none of the heroic protagonists considered that he might have his own agenda, and that it might not align with theirs.

Episode 4x18 “Heart of Gold”

~ A title with multiple meanings—I like it!

~ This is the first episode that really focuses on Robin Hood as a protagonist, apart from Belle, Baelfire/Neal, or Regina (though she is still very much present in his thoughts). I wish we got to see more of him in action like this.

~ How would Marian have known so much about Baelfire?

~ For all that I dislike about this episode, Robin Hood chasing a thief on horseback down the streets of New York is pretty hilarious!

~ Apparently Robin knows this world’s emergency procedure: call 911. Maybe he learned this when they brought Little John to the hospital in Storybrooke?

~ Robin and Will met in Oz? Just how many lands/realms/worlds did Will traverse? If Robin’s mission were in Wonderland that would make more sense.

~ Walsh turns out to be relevant for something! And there’s a Hidden Mickey in his drawer!

~ Perhaps the biggest plot hole: Why did Zelena’s shapeshifting stay intact when they left Storybrooke and entered the Land Without Magic? That lifted the impact of the Snow Queen’s magic.

~ Zelena is basically playing the same role that Walsh did, trying to ensnare a hero into a false marriage.

~ Will’s backstory is kind of huge, and his words, “Doesn’t seem fair to ask somebody for their heart until I can fix me own,” holds a lot of truth; yet they seem to gloss over it.

~ I totally thought Will was playing up the nice act and trying to pick Robin’s pocket; having Robin instead slip the potion to him is a good twist!

~ The Genie poster for Aladdin is visible behind Robin outside the hospital!

~ The scene of Robin and Gold outside the hospital starts out so sweet and sincere, but then becomes so twisted and manipulative. Gold’s advice sounds like it would actually be good in real life, but he’s using it to play into Zelena’s deception.

~ Robin doesn’t really make the distinction that he only steals from the corrupt, unjustly wealthy. The way he talks about stealing for yourself or for others makes it sound like any kind of thievery done for others is morally justified. That could be taken in dangerous directions.

~ The real Marian is so sweet and supportive when Robin becomes an outlaw! No wonder he was so surprised by her apparent reaction to his behavior in New York.

~ There is a very plausible reason for Robin to have Regina’s number: she helped them get their start in New York, and she could help them again if they were ever in need.

~ Does Robin find a way to make a living in the modern world? What jobs would he qualify for, outside of crime?

~ Regina being protective of Emma is beautiful, and a sign of true character growth. Instead of wishing for Emma to share the same horrible experiences she did, she wants to spare her from them.

Episode 4x19 “Sympathy for the De Vil”

~ I get that Gold threatened Regina’s love, but for her to take Belle’s heart, like Belle isn’t even a person with agency of her own, is such a regression back into darkness.

~ “A person obsessed with vengeance is easy to manipulate.” Gold knows this because Hook demonstrated it earlier this season.

~ It’s nice to see Emma and Regina interact as concerned friends. Emma wants to protect Regina just as much as Regina wants to protect Emma.

~ Light brown is an interesting color on Regina. It’s one of the lighter colors we’ve seen her in.

~ I like Emma’s conversation with Hook and Regina, but searching for Henry seems like an odd time for them to get on her case about forgiving her parents.

~ This whole episode seems to stigmatize mental illness. Or maybe it’s supposed to be a commentary on poor treatment? The way it’s written off at the end as Cruella just opening herself to darkness is … unsettling, and not in a good way.

Episode 4x20 “Lily”

~ Who arranged Cruella’s interment? And why is Emma just watching Gold and Isaac from a distance, neither of them hiding from the other? Are they at a stalemate in terms of power?

~ Why would the Storybrooke library have microfiche records of births in Minnesota? Or did Lily enter this world closer to Maine, like Emma?

~ Abby Ross does a great job playing teenage Emma. It could also be a directing thing, but she seems to mimic Emma’s way of talking and moving very well.

~ Regina implicitly criticizes Snow and David for “messing with” fate, but then encourages Emma to push against fate.

~ Hook and Emma’s conversation is nicely placed at a time in between the major ups and downs of their relationship. He confirms what the audience could already deduce about how she influenced him to change.

~ I love Regina’s purple dress!

~ Emma seems to blame herself a lot for pushing Lily away, but Lily was a pretty awful friend to her.

~ Regina says she “went to the trouble to create Storybrooke.” That raises a lot of questions I’ve wondered about: how much of the town did she design, and how much was Rumplestiltskin’s handiwork?

~ It’s weird and ironic to see Regina be the one restraining Emma’s temper.

~ It feels like the show’s writers are using fate as an excuse for tropey, formulaic writing. Like, of course the wolf is fate intervening. The funny thing is how self-aware the characters are about it, even as Regina tries to deny it.

~ Lily really asked Emma to put herself in danger, approaching her gun-owning boyfriend.

~ Did that kid’s parents never warn her about strangers luring her with food? That is so creepy for Lily to do!

~ Was that even Lily’s car that Emma stole?

~ Even though Emma is mad at her parents, she still fiercely wants to protect them.

~ While the script is painfully unsubtle, Lily’s monologue raises a big real-life question: if it seems like the world is against you, and bad things happen no matter what you do, what is the point of trying to make better choices?

~ Lily’s tirade at gunpoint is confusing, like Palpatine urging Anakin or Luke to kill him. Does she really want Emma to kill her?

~ The fact that Regina gets to talk down someone about to make the same kinds of mistakes she made is beautiful.

~ Was Regina talking to Maleficent, Lily’s mother, practically standing next to her, without even telling her?

~ Emma and Regina don’t actually tell Lily that they want to introduce her to her mother. That could have changed her whole attitude toward them from the start. If she wanted to go to Storybrooke, she should have just heard them out and gone along with them.

~ Gold finally shows some contrition for deceiving Belle, and enough selflessness to let go of her and let Will take his place.

~ I don’t have words for how messed up the Robin/Zelena thing is.

Episode 4x21 “Mother”

~ Motherhood is a central theme of this entire show, but this episode zones in on it in both old and new ways: Snow reconciling with Emma, Maleficent trying to bond with Lily, Regina contending with Cora, Regina destroying her own fertility, and Zelena expecting a baby. That’s five mother-child relationships being juggled in this episode!

~ It’s interesting to see Regina at a stage on her way to becoming the Evil Queen.

~ It's so good to see Cora this season! She is my favorite OUAT villain, because she is the most frightening. She is so convincing, it's always tricky to tell when she is sincere and when she is lying or manipulating the truth.

~ Is the color yellow significant for the rose? As the Queen of Hearts, Cora would have favored red or white roses.

~ They use a forgetting potion as an easy solution for Roland, whereas when Snow White used it to forget Charming it had a huge impact on her personality. This is one example of the show losing its “All magic comes with a price” theme.

~ Bringing the Wicked Witch back to Storybrooke, where she would have more access to magic, is a questionable move. And why doesn’t that ice curse resume its course when she returns?

~ When they’re shown together, Maleficent and Lily really do resemble each other!

~ Where and when could Cora and Tinker Bell have met? That would have been an interesting interaction!

~ The Queen of Hearts and the Sheriff of Nottingham are actually allies in the Sisters Grimm books, another series that sets fairy-tale characters in a modern-day town.

~ Lily and Maleficent are oddly similar to Emma and Henry at the start of the series, except this time it’s the parent that wants the child to stay in town.

~ “Things could change in a week.” This is true: a lot can happen quickly in Storybrooke!

~ Cora and Zelena both tried to use imposture to trick someone into having a child with someone they didn’t love.

~ Snow corrects David by calling Lily “she” instead of “it,” a nice callback correcting the way they talked about her in the egg!

~ The look David and Hook exchange carries a whole conversation. “You did this, didn’t you? Thank you.” “No problem, mate.”

~ Why/how did Lily calm down enough to revert to human form?

~ Isaac is right about Regina being self-destructive, and it’s most evident in this episode! Sterilizing herself in order to keep Cora from using her (or her future child?) to get more power is so painful to see. But Regina being infertile, and immediately seeming to regret it, helps to explain why she has such a soft spot for children and tried so hard to get one of her own in earlier seasons.

~ “My happy ending is finally feeling at home in the world.” That actually sounds like every person’s happy ending, the final step in the Hero’s Journey.

~ Is Isaac just playing Regina the whole episode? Did he ever intend to help her?

~ The series really goes in the direction of the Inkheart trilogy, with the Author able to conjure or alter realities simply by writing a few sentences.

Episode 4x22 “Operation Mongoose Part 1”

~ I’m confused about Isaac’s true motives. Is he just out for himself? Does he really care who gets a happy ending?

~ The characters really can’t seem to decide whether “villains getting happy endings” is a good or bad thing.

~ The intro/teaser about Isaac becoming the Author is cool! The test to identify the Author is much like the test to identify the Avatar in The Last Airbender, which is based on the search for the Dalai Lama in real life.

~ Probably the most unrealistic aspect of the Author is how quickly he can write a bestselling novel!

~ Henry seems to be going back to his first-episode roots, running away to find his family. The only difference is that this time someone tries to call the cops on him!

~ I wonder if Isaac’s press tour event resembles actual Once Upon a Time fan events. It looks like there are Disney cosplayers in the audience, including Jack Sparrow!

~ I love Henry in this season finale! After being absent or on the sidelines for a lot of this season, he finally gets to be a protagonist and hero. I only wish there had been a little more setup for his arc.

~ I think this is Henry’s first time in the Enchanted Forest, or at least some version of it. No wonder he is so excited when he arrives!

~ What an amazing, hilarious, unexpected yet fitting callback to Henry’s famous line to Emma!

~ Dwarves serving as Black Knights is so funny and disturbing at the same time!

~ Snow’s hair looks like it might be Ginnifer Goodwin’s natural hair, only styled differently!

~ This two-part episode is basically like the show’s own fan fiction of itself, and it’s hilarious!

~ Henry refers to “his plan.” Was he the one who sent Robin to rescue Regina? Was there some deleted scene of them?

~ Was Emma really locked up for years, as Regina says? Or did she just wake up in that tower and start screaming, as shown onscreen? If it was the former, that could have had a huge toll on her mental state from then on.

Episode 4x23 “Operation Mongoose Part 2”

~ It seems that in this reality, Baelfire has been replaced by his namesake baby Neal. His presence with Belle and Rumple could also be foreshadowing of them having a baby of their own, something first hinted at by Peter Pan in season 3!

~ Isaac says Baelfire died because of Rumplestiltskin’s cowardice, but that’s not really true.

~ It’s so good to see Hook and Henry working together, Henry demonstrating how much he learned from Hook, and Hook learning about the ways of Star Wars!

~ Emma’s dress is beautiful, but way too extravagant for a prisoner.

~ “My schedule’s pretty clear.” = subtle callback to Hook telling Emma “I’ve all the time in the world” at the start of this season.

~ I hope Snow apologized to the dwarf she killed (I’m guessing Doc due to the glasses) after they returned to Storybrooke!

~ I LOVE Emma’s new Enchanted Forest outfit! Not that her dresses aren’t lovely, but the vest and pants fit her style and personality much better.

~ Even in this adventure, Emma shows hints of darkness, yelling at Grumpy and threatening him. She also shows how fiercely protective she is of Hook in that moment.

~ In the background, Hook picks up the sword and holds it up, so clumsy and uncertain, yet ready and willing to fight for Emma.

~ “Is she worth your life, pirate?” “I’m willing to find out.” That’s really been Hook’s attitude since becoming Emma’s ally at the start of season 3!

~ After all their animosity in seasons 2-3, which gave way to friendship and alliance in seasons 3-4, it’s strange to see Hook and David have an all-out duel.

~ I think the writers/directors specifically blocked that scene so Emma would see Hook’s face as he died!

~ Belle paraphrases Mrs. Potts in Beauty and the Beast!

~ “What does your heart tell you?” = another Star Wars reference?

~ I bet Emma has wanted to cross blades with Rumplestiltskin for a LONG time!

~ Regina choosing to protect Henry, even at the cost of her supposed happy ending, is completely in-character, yet also shows how much she has grown since the first season, where she put Henry in danger while pursuing her goals.

~ It’s hard to believe that after everything that happened, Emma is still too afraid to tell Hook “I love you.” Colin O’Donoghue’s acting in that scene is incredible. And apparently Hook finally considers himself a hero!

~ Great lines from Snow about what makes a hero or villain!

~ “The best way to show your love for those that are gone is to tell their stories.” True words!

~ Henry is a lot like Harry Potter in his scene with the Apprentice: he wonders about the possibility of resurrecting a dead parent, and he breaks the Author’s quill the way Harry breaks the Elder Wand in the film version of Deathly Hallows. But how can he still be the Author if he does not have the quill?

~ Apparently Will is Roland’s baby-sitter! Not sure how wise that is, but it could make for fun shenanigans!

~ Why does the darkness target Regina? It can’t be because she has the greatest potential for darkness, since that was shown to be Emma earlier this season. Is it because she is now so full of light, as Henry and Emma hint?

#Once Upon a Time #ABC's Once Upon a Time #Once Upon a Time series #reactions #analysis #Captain Swan #Outlaw Queen

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lilcricket · 8 months

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some episode thoughts!!! my defense of the fuck

OKAY so first of all it’s so funny that emma and sam literally were just fucking and committing acts of verbal and physical assault all episode.

secondly, i wish that there had been more of a build up and more time to develop bc i see what the writers were doing but they haven’t given the characters enough time to really earn the moment they had. my personal belief is they were so rushed because i think someone (emma) is probably not making it to season two!!!! it’s really frustrating because i think the connection between emma and sam is so sweet and well thought out and could mean so much. but that shit is being pushed too fast!!! however i live in pretend land where i can just pretend they’ve known each other longer and/or this moment happened further into their relationship bc IN DEFENSE OF THE FUCKING!

the episode was set up the way it was because everyone was facing traumas in their own ways. it was really funny and jarring to jump from traumafest to the hets making out BUT (!!!!) hear me out! it wasn’t just a sexual awakening for them! marie/jordan/andre/cate are all very avoidant of their trauma and aren’t acknowledging it in their daily lives. they literally need to walk through the memories and the feelings they felt to process the moment and actually face what happened to them. whereas sam and emma are so open with their trauma to themselves and others.

emma opened up about her biggest secret to the FIRST person who seemed to take her seriously. she was willing to be fetishized by gross guy in ep1 rather than have someone be displeased with who she really is! she was terrified of people finding out about the way she changes size because she thought it made her unlovable. she thought it took away from her ability to be a good person because she was doing something shameful and, in her words, gross! sam saw emma at her worst (the day of her biggest secret being leaked to the world, the night she was exploited a step too far by her mom and subsequently cut off her family, the moment of her first kill) and not only did sam accept it, but he revered it!!!! believed she was a real hero and a good person!!!! everyone she is shown to be intimate with has exploited her and made her feel small (haha). with sam, emma is able to be open and honest about who she is without being the butt of the joke or looked at as a goofy sidekick! not only that, she got to be in control of the situation!!!!! fuck!

sam has other shit to work through because honestly the trauma is still actively happening to him and while he’s open with it, he’s struggling to understand his reality. so it’s a little less applicable to him, but also sam gets to be himself too! show that he has the capacity to be violent and has hallucinations and show the vulnerability of thinking he’s going to be left! there’s more to say but im an emma blog so i’ll leave it to someone who has thought more about him. all in all i love them and if emma doesn’t die at the end of the season, why are we going so FUCKING FAST!!!!!!!!! slow it down gentlemen!!!

#*EPISODE DISCUSSION.#dude i DIDNT even know i cared so much about this but apparently i do #no one is going to read all of that <3 sorry guys

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secretivemessenger · 2 years

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wahh ! thank u for doing my kaeya and mammon request, you did such a great job <33 can i request oikawa with a shy!m reader and they’re like friends w benefits and after they fuck, oikawa confesses his feelings and stuff cuz it was mad obvious reader had a fat crush on him so smut and fluff please :D

- 🍮

Friends W Benefits

Top oikawa x male reader

Rating: NSFW

Warnings: Riding! Confessions! Nipple play! Badly written! Haven’t stated in the beginning but he’s waring a condom! Friends to lovers?!

Note: im really glad you liked it your ideas are amazing too , also i got inspired by the book pic while writing the sex scene

You and oikawa are Friends with benefits and it is all you will ever be , the both of you were just using each other to satisfy your sexual desires , and getting emotions involved into these kind of relationships is dangerous

Thats why the first thing you two agreed on is to never fall in-love , but you couldn’t help yourself who would be able to control themselves when they get into such intimate relationship with a handsome man like oikawa , it was impossible not too and So you fell for him

You knew very well that once you crossed that line you had to end things up with him but you simply couldn’t , you never wanted your relationship to end its selfish you knew but you just couldn’t , so you decided to keep you feelings a secret

But it appears you didn’t do such a great job at it

Muffled moans is all you could make out bitting harder onto your shirt , oikawa was simply reading a book with a smile acting as if he didn’t just make you ride him while he just laid down on the couch reading his book , he even made you put your shirt in your mouth to not distract him is what he said

But you did as told nevertheless your clothes thrown away on the floor with only your shirt on , you put your palm onto his abdomen to support yourself still needing a bit more time to adjust you raised your body up and down in a slow pace , you can feel your body heating up as sweat fall down your face

You sneaked one hand to your nipple and started rubbing on it gently adding more to the pleasure , twisting and turning it around till its red it had your muffled moans rise in volume as small amount of pre-cum leaking down from your cock , as you continued abusing your own nipples

And The squelching sound can be heard clearly from the great amount of lube you applied before going down , “can you believe this Mary rejected Simon , I really thought they’d end up together” he said as you looked at him dumbfounded “bitch im here struggling to fuck myself and your just fucking reading your fucking bood”

You wondered how did you even fall in love with someone like him , but your thoughts were cut short because of the hard thrust from oikawa “hah..wait.” You tried to talk but his hand took a hold of your hips and he raised your body up before slamming you down all the way till his cock is fully into you “if your struggling that much then let me help you out a bit”

You were to overwhelmed to speak , so you just cried out for him as you left your body at oikawa’s mercy , he thrusted up his hips while moving your body up and down but this was not enough for you , you wanted to feel more of him you wanted to have his arm warp around your body you wanted to feel more emotionally connected to him despite your relationship

And it’s like oikawa can read your mind somehow , as he pulled you down until you face hit his clothed chest , you raised your head looking at him confused “it will feel better like this trust me” he reassured you before going back to thrusting into you

You closed your eyes shut as you warped your hands around him before burying your face onto his neck , you took a deep breath taking in his nice smell you growed used too by now

He thrusted his hips upward , you moaned onto his neck , then suddenly you felt his hand reach out to your buttocks spreading it open with his fingers giving him more access to your inside , your body jolts up as he hit your prostate repeatedly , with each thrust your cock rub against his stomach giving more fraction as you felt yourself close to coming

“Ngh… im close” oikawa’s confident voice cracked as low breaths left him , you looked up to see his flushed and sweaty face looking back at you with such sharp eyes that got your heart beat fast , you couldn’t contain yourself it’s like he was tempting you and you just took the bait

“i like you” he said , you looked at him in pure shock he was looking down at your with such nervous eyes completely stopping his movements , he knew you loved him it was very obvious , but for some reasons even tho you crossed the line that shouldn’t be crossed he didn’t want to let you go

You placed your lips gently onto his before entering your tongue inside his mouth , he took that as an answer as you both closed your eyes , he got back to thrusting his cock as you moaned between the kiss before pulling away “so does that mean we’re dating now” he stooped to say making you whine at him “yess.. hurry up you asshole i was very closse” you said desperately , He chuckled lightly before going back to ramming your inside

You don’t know why but it somehow feels different now you still couldn’t get the situation fully in your head , but you decided to just stay in the heat of the moment

You cried out feeling yourself close , usually its hard to come from only having your hole fucked but right now you feel like you can cum from just that , and with a final thrust from oikawa you were driven to the edge as you came all over your stomach

Your body relaxed on the hands of oikawa as he continued to thrust up his moves getting sloppier by the moment , but your hole squeezing tight around him got him going as he came inside the condom

When you finally relaxed from your high it all hit you once , you and oikawa your friend with benefits are dating the man that you thought you never had a chance with from the beginning are together

“Is this real” you said everything finally kicking in “yes darling you are now dating the handsome old me” he said with a smirk

“your a dick” you said before embracing him in hug as you buried your face in his neck again to hide your blushing face “lets clean you up now shall we”

#bottom male reader #male reader smut #x male reader #smut #anon reply #haikyuu x male reader #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!!#oikawa imagine #oikawa x reader #oikawa scenarios #oikawa torū #oikawa x male reader #&🍮 — anon

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nashibirne · 3 years

Text

Gimme Shelter - 6

Sorry, it took me a while to write the next chapter but I was kinda busy. I hope you still want to know how things are going and growing between Henry and Kat. If you like this, please reward me with a comment, reblog or like 💜

Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC (Kat Spencer)

Words: ~3.0k

Summary: Henry has to deal with a personal crisis and he finds shelter with his old rugby mate Sam and his sister Kat. She used to be Henry’s best friend a very long time ago. Will they be able to become friends again or maybe even more? Chapter 6: A disruptive factor and The Lonely Hearts Club meets again.

You can find the previous chapters and my other fics on my masterlist!

Warnings: RPF, mention of mental health issues, lots of poetry

Unbeta'ed. English isn't my first language. Mistakes ahead and they're all mine.

Disclaimer: I don’t know the real Henry Cavill or anyone who's related to him in any way, this is pure fiction and nothing more

Credits: Pics for the moodboard from Pinterest. Face claims: Kat = Jennifer Connelly

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @artandotherdelights @notabronte @littlefreya @luclittlepond @eldarwen333 @meowpurrbooks @marantha @liliumdream @enchantedbytomandhenry @greensleeves888 @witcherfan @margauxmargaux07 @radaofrivia @m07belzen @a-little-counter-esperanto @starstruckkittyangel @mary-ann84 @sillyrabbit81

So, enough of the small print...here we go:

**********

As much as Kat enjoyed her time with Henry and the feelings that blossomed between them there was this one disruptive factor called Mel.

When they were sitting on that rock the other day, almost kissing, when they were pouring their hearts out afterwards, it all felt so real, so possible, so tangible but whenever she saw Hen talk to Mel her heart sank and doubt started to nag at her hope. And he not only talked to Mel, he went to her place several times and so Kat went to London for contract negotiations with a publishing house with mixed feelings.

She wanted to trust Henry who always laughed it off, when Kat asked him about Mel, saying they were just having a neighbourly chat, but she also wasn't willing to be heading for the rocks blindly. She wasn't able to ignore the existence of Mel and the connection between her and the man Kat had fallen for again.

She missed Henry terribly when she was away though. Five days without him made her realize how close they had grown and how much she enjoyed being around him. Five lonely nights in a hotel bed increased her doubts and her worries, her jealousy and her insecurities. She couldn't stop her mind from creating worst case scenarios of Hen being with Mel. Of Mel seducing him, of Henry having sex with her, falling for the attractive, charming blonde who knew how to enchant a man. She imagined how he got trapped by this woman who'd never tried to hide that she was looking for a new husband, a new provider, after the last one had the audacity to die and leave her with a big, beautiful mansion but not with the amount of money Mel had hoped for. And in all these scenarios Kat was the one who was left behind with a broken heart. Again.

When she returned to St. Ives on Saturday afternoon she found Lydia working in the garden and Sam in the kitchen, baking bread. Her brother hugged her, leaving handprints of flour on her black shirt.

"How was London?"

Kat plopped down on a chair with a sigh. "Successful but exhausting. I can't believe that I actually liked living there. The traffic is horrible and all those people and the noise…"

"Good thing you're back in our beautiful, little sanctuary then. We've missed you. Even Darcy came looking for you every day." Sam shoved the loaf of bread he'd just moulded into the oven before he washed his hands and sat down at the table across from his younger sister.

"Really?" An amused smile played on Kat's lips. "And I thought Henry and Kal are all he cares about recently. How's Hen by the way? On the phone he said he's fine?"

"He is, I guess. No more panic attacks as far as I know. He's been in a pretty good mood all week, busy and full of energy."

Sam poured himself a glass of water and offered one to Kat too but she declined with a shake of her head.

"Where is he anyway?"

"At Mel's."

Kat's expression changed from curious to annoyed in an instant. "Again? What's he doing there?"

"Having a coffee and a chat, I guess," Sam shrugged. "I don't know the details."

Kat rolled her eyes. "Of course not."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"Then why do you say it?"

Kat looked at Sam with a frown. "Nevermind."

"No, come on. Spill it. Are you implying I know something I won't tell you?" Sam got a little cross now.

"I'm not implying anything. I just don't understand why he spends so much time at her place and I can hardly believe your old rugby mate hasn't told you." She crossed her arms and gave her brother an expectant look.

"He told me what I've just told you. What do you think they're doing? Having a secret affair?" He let out a snort, laughing just at the thought of Hen and Mel but when he saw the frown on Kat's face it dawned on him. "Wait? That's what you're thinking? That something's going on between them? You're jealous?"

"Does that sound so far-fetched? She tries to dig her nails into every man who seems to be good husband material. She tried it with you and you don't need a crystal ball to know that she's for sure trying it with Hen too. And for the record...I'm worried about him, not jealous." Kat was all worked up now and Sam could easily tell that he'd hit a sore point.

"Henry is not an idiot, Kat. From my own experience I can tell you that Mel is anything but an enigma. I could tell what she's looking for after our first and only date and a man like Hen, who has to deal with gold diggers all the time, will see right through her without problems. There's no need to worry. And no need to be jealous." He grinned at her and Kat made a face. "Did you even listen to me? I've just told you that…"

"That you're not jealous. Yeah...yackety-yack. I know you, sis. You're in love with him. Don't try to deny it." Kat sighed and surrendered with a resigned smile. "Fuck, yeah and I feel like I'm sixteen again, Sammy. Confused and clueless. What is it about him that makes me feel like that? Why does it have to be so damn complicated?"

"It's not complicated. Trust him and listen to your heart."

"It's not that easy."

"No, obviously it's not. So maybe you should just ask him about Mel and work on your trust issues."

"It's not like I haven't asked him about her before. But I guess you're right. I'm gonna try again and talk to him tonight." She gave her brother a nod.

"At the meeting of The Lonely Hearts Club?" Sam winked at her with a grin that made Kat chuckle.

"He's told you about it?"

"Yeah. He's talked about it all week. Running around with piles of books, volumes of poems as far as I could see. Copying entire pages by hand into a notebook. To be honest, I think it's the reason for his good mood."

****

Maybe, Kat thought, or maybe he just enjoys fooling around with Mel.

When Kat climbed up the rope ladder a few hours later she had managed successfully to avoid Henry up to this point. She had spent the rest of the day in her room, brooding over Sam's words, about Henry and Mel for the umpteenth time and about the club meeting of course. She was close to chickening out but she decided to get her shit together and to enjoy the time with Henry on their little stroll down memory lane. And maybe, just maybe, she would even find the courage to ask him about Mel.

"Kat!" Henry flashed her one of those billion dollar smiles when she entered the tree house. "There you are." He hugged her and gave her a look full of relief. "I haven't seen you all afternoon. I was a little worried you'd stand me up."

"Neighbourly duties?" Kat asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

She gave him a smile and shrugged. "Well, you were not around when I came back…"

"Yeah...I was busy." He grinned sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.

"Huh?"

"Sam said you went to visit Mel."

"Ah, yes. Yes, I did. You know we have a little chat every once in a while. She's...nice."

"How lovely."

"The room looks great, Hen."

The awkward silence that fell over the room made them both uncomfortable. The unexpected tension left Henry in a state of insecurity. He'd hoped for an easy time with Kat, some intimate moments to share but the start of the night wasn't very promising. He cleared his throat before giving Kat a goofy smile.

"Shall we begin? I've prepared a little something. A few poems and...yeah." He shrugged helplessly and to his big relief Kat nodded with a smile. "Of course."

It was only then that Kat realized that Henry had decorated the treehouse with loving care. Blankets and cushions on the floor and candles in the corner of the room created a very warm and cozy atmosphere and a huge pile of books showed her that Henry was very well prepared for the first meeting of the Lonely Hearts Club since 1999.

"Thanks, kitty. Let's sit." He plopped down beside the books, his long legs stretched out and Kat sat down cross-legged next to him, placing a little bluetooth speaker on the floor. "Prepare for some 90s flashback. I picked all the cheesy love songs we listened to non-stop." She started the playlist and soft music filled the air. Henry smiled at her and took a deep breath before he started to speak solemnly in his best statesman's voice.

The way he looked at her took her breath away for a moment, his gaze intense and pleading, he seemed so vulnerable it made her heart miss a beat. She wanted to kiss the insecurity and sadness that crossed his handsome face away but her own doubts made her fight the need to be close to him. Instead she took the notebook he handed her over and opened it. She stared at the name of the poem that was written down in Henry's neat handwriting on the first page.

"I hereby declare the meeting of The Lonely Hearts Club open. Present are the founding members Katherine Elisabeth Spencer and Henry William Cavill."

Kat couldn't help but chuckle. He was such a dork.

"Would you do me the honor of reciting the first poem, dear kitty?"

She knew it all too well and yet she'd almost forgotten it existed. Forgotten or repressed, it didn't really matter, she still knew it by heart, since it was the very poem she had read countless times after Henry had broken her heart. The fact that he knew it too, that he'd chosen these verse to be read out loud made her wonder if it was as familiar to him as it was to her. She cleared her throat, closed the book and her eyes and started to recite.

"When we two parted by George Gordon Byron."

She paused and took another deep breath.

"When we two parted

In silence and tears,

Half broken-hearted

To sever for years,

Pale grew thy cheek and cold

Colder thy kiss;

Truly that hour foretold

Sorrow to this."

Kat flinched slightly when she felt Henry's warm hand in hers. She looked at him and she wasn't surprised when he continued, his voice warm and soothing like thick, golden honey.

"The dew of the morning

Sunk chill on my brow—

It felt like the warning

Of what I feel now.

Thy vows are all broken,

And light is thy fame:

I hear thy name spoken,

And share in its shame."

The game was the same it used to be back in the days at Stowe. They took turns to read the stanza. The only difference was that they were holding hands now. Kat spoke the next words with a steady voice although on the inside she was trembling.

"They name thee before me,

A knell to mine ear;

A shudder comes o'er me—

Why wert thou so dear?

They know not I knew thee,

Who knew thee too well:

Long, long shall I rue thee,

Too deeply to tell."

She smiled at Henry, sensing that he needed her reinsurance for the last paragraph. He returned the smile and went on.

"In secret we met—

In silence I grieve,

That thy heart could forget,

Thy spirit deceive.

If I should meet thee

After long years,

How should I greet thee?

With silence and tears."

They sat in silence for several minutes, comfortable silence this time, the quiet connecting them in a way words never could.

"I've got another one you might like." Henry said softly after a while. He reluctantly let go of her hand, took the notebook and searched through the pages. "Here it is."

"Bring it on." Kat smiled at him, hardly able to hide the loving feelings that spread inside her chest and her belly. Henry nodded and began.

"My heart leaps up when I behold

A rainbow in the sky:

So was it when my life began;

So is it now I am a man;

So be it when I shall grow old,

Or let me die!

The Child is father of the Man;

And I could wish my days to be

Bound each to each by natural piety."

"That's beautiful, pop." Kat blushed under Henry's smirk when he heard the nickname slip from her lips. "William Wordsworth?" she guessed.

"Yes. I'd never heard of it before, but Mel showed it to me the other day."

Kat's smile faded like a shadow in the dark.

"Oh really, did she? So that's what you're doing when you meet? You read poems to each other?" Her voice had chilled in an instant, her body language switched from open hearted to closed off. Henry was confused by the sudden change of tone.

"Yes, she told me about it when I mentioned that I was looking for romantic poems by british poets. And no, that's not what we usually do."

"And what do you do? Usually?"

"Nothing special, as I've told you before. And honestly, Kat..it's none of your business anyway."

That felt like a slap in the face to her.

"Right...yeah...you're absolutely right. It's none of my business what you do or who you're fooling around with." Kat got up, tapping off non-existing dirt from her jeans with determined motions that showed how touched and churned up she was.

"Fooling around?" Henry got up too in a hurry, knocking his head on a branch that was part of the treehouse's roof. He cursed before he turned to Kat again. "You can't be serious. You don't really think I f...that I sleep with Mel, do you?"

"I don't know what to think, Henry. You spend so much time with her lately…"

"And I've told you it's harmless and I just visit our neighbour from time to time." He tried to take her hand but Kat took a step back, turning around to stare out of the window with a deep sigh.

"You still don't trust me." His voice was sad now and there was a note of disappointment too.

"I really want to, Henry. But it's so hard…" Her shoulders were trembling and her soft sobs told him she was crying. He hugged her gently from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. "I know, kitty. And I know that I'm the one to blame for this dilemma. But you have to believe me. There's nothing between me and Mel. I don't fuck her and I'm not interested in her. I only care about you. Okay?" The last words were nothing more than a whisper in her ear, a light breeze of tones that made her want to believe him. She nodded, leaning into his embrace but she wasn't able to give him a proper answer. The truth was she had no answer. She knew she loved him but what she didn't know was if she was going to allow herself to act accordingly.

"Listen, Kat. This might not be the right time nor place to do this, but I need to ask you something. I'm going to Jersey next week for my mum's 70s birthday and I wonder if you'd want to come with me?"

Kat turned around in his arms abruptly, taken by surprise by his question. He didn't let go of her waist and so she found herself closer than ever to him, his gorgeous face right in front of her. "You want me to go to Jersey with you?" He nodded. "As my plus one. Yes." She freed herself carefully from his embrace. "But…"

"Let me explain." Henry took a step back to give her some space. "My mum invited me months ago and I accepted...of course...but to be honest, I've dreaded that family gathering since day one. All eyes will be on me, everyone's gonna try to wrap me up in cotton wool, walking on eggshells around me, wondering if I'm okay." He sighed and shrugged. "Don't get me wrong. I'm beyond grateful to have a family that is worried about me, loving people who care, but it also stresses me out. Having you by my side would be very helpful and besides that, I would hate to be separated from you again. Those five days last week were long enough, Kat and don't even make me start with the 22 years prior. You have no idea how much I missed you." He gave her a sheepish smile and she couldn't help but return it. "I missed you too, Hen. But I'm really not sure if this is a good idea. Your parents hardly know me."

"Don't be silly. They remember you very well. You spent Christmas 1998 with us. Please don't say you forgot about that...my parents invited you after I spent the summer with your family here in St. Ives."

"Of course I remember that. It was the most lively and jolly Christmas of my childhood. All those people at your parents house, the chatter and singing and goofing about, it was such a stark contrast to Christmas with my family."

"See...you can have that again. A crowded, noisy place, loads of laughter, alcohol, fun and food. When I asked my mum if it's okay to invite you she was so excited, Kat. She'd love to see you again and so would my dad and my brothers. And I'm sure you're gonna like my sisters-in-law and all my nephews and nieces." Kat smiled.

"That sounds good."

"So you're in?"

"I don't know. Where would we stay? At your parent's?"

"No. I always stay at a small cottage near the beach when I visit them. I bought it a few years ago."

Kat started to chew on her lower lip.

"Two bedrooms." Henry added with a wink before making the next try to take her hands. This time she didn't pull back. "Please say yes, Kat. Let's spend some time together. We can stay there for a week or so. When the whole Cavill bunch leaves after the celebration, it will only be you and me and lots of time to...to bond again. So what do you say?"

*******

#henry cavill #cavillry #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill rpf #henry cavill slow burn #slow burn

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mego42 · 3 years

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Hi, since you seem more positive/excited about the triangle possibility than a fair amount of people, can you talk more about why? I fall into "the not thrilled about the possibility, but have a little hope it could result in some good moments" group and would love some more reasons to not dread it. Thanks! And love your writing and love reading your tags :)

hey anon!! i am v sorry you are not thrilled and am always happy to shriek nonsense about why i’m excited (though idk how much it will help bc the tl;dr is more or less i’m hype for a triangle bc i am an incredibly messy bench who lives for drama and if you are not a similarly messy bench, ymmv)

don’t get me wrong, i super understand the trepidation, pop culture is LITTERED with absolute shite examples of love triangles but here is an incomplete list of reasons i personally think beth and rio are the perfect kind of disaster to set up a spectacular love triangle:

the existence of a triangle implies there are FEELINGS at the various points

the use of the descriptor "romantic" applied to said triangle implies ROMANTIC feelings

i am a simple woman and my pulse has already picked up

one of my absolute most favorite things about the toxic stew that is beth and rio is how completely balls to the wall obsessed they are with having and holding each other’s attention and focus

like straight up possessive nightmare people

now imagine wedging an actual rival for one or the other’s attention between the two of them

(something we have not reeeeeally seen before, 206 withstanding and i’ll come back to that, bc lbr beth doesn’t give a fck about dean and rio’s known that for sure ever since he walked LITERALLY RIGHT PAST THE GUY to rail his wife in a public bathroom at her invitation)

(the 204 proximity point has nothing to do with this list it’s just a source of endless delight and that was enough for me to justify adding it)

where was i

mmmmm feelings, possessive nightmares, OH RIGHT

they are also nightmares in the sense that it appears to be physically impossible for them to use their words with each other unless it’s like, ripped out of them which means they’re sitting on ALL THE BAGGAGE between them and it’s just stewing and boiling and

wait, let me back up

look, i want brio sex as bad as the next person

but even more than brio sex? i want them to fight

i mean like, Fight fight

i want the kind of knockdown drag-out brawl that brings Stuff to the surface and leaves them with a bunch of nasty, ragged, pieces dragged out into the light bc lbr they’ve both done some incredibly awful things to each other

(kind of like what 213 was looking like before it all went to shit tbh)

(i’m just saying, beth saying you put it all on me with that kind of jagged, disbelieving betrayal behind it? my catnip)

(it’s up there with rio at the picnic table in 306 telling her that ship sailed when she put three slugs in him)

i live for them being raw and honest and emotional okay

IF ONLY THEY COULD BOTH DO IT AT THE SAME TIME

bc here’s the thing, for the magnitude of horrifying shit between the two of them? i (personally) think that they like it because they are so! twisted! when it comes to each other and i love that for me, specifically

like no seriously a huge part of what i love about the ship is that whole i see your monster and it looks like mine thing they’ve got going on when they let themselves and i am full on foaming at the mouth feral at the thought of them leaning into that

i’m sorry i’ve lost the thread again

wait no that was the thread

okay so basically they’re both ticking time bombs of smothered angst and rage who are absolutely incapable of being normal about each other but are also keeping all of that locked tf down and the only time we ever really see it come out is when one o them is too emotionally overwhelmed to keep their iron grip

you know what brings emotions to the surface?

TRIANGLES!!!!!!!!!!!!

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE SEETHING MESS OF EMOTION THAT HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BRING TO THE SURFACE??????

AND HOW UTTERLY UNEQUIPPED EITHER ONE OF THEM WOULD BE TO DEAL WITH ANY OF IT????????

AND HOW SIDEWAYS IT COULD EXPLODE???????????

like don’t get me wrong there is absolutely no way it’s gonna be pretty but i didn’t get on this busted ass carnival ride expecting nice things, i am in this to feEl stuFf and nothing makes me feel stuff more than seeing the two of them feel stuff and this is perfect set up for that

you know how they say the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference?

you know what’s not indifference? big messy emotions

but okay okay okay i am icarus and the sun looms large, lets say they don’t fight, that doesn’t mean they’re not gonna feEl stuFf on their own

do you remember beth’s face in the van when rio hugged dylan??? do you?????

and what did she do after that? went out and robbed him blind and held his shit hostage until he caved in what is one of my top 10 of all of their scenes

and god, idk if we’ve really seen rio really get jealous of attention lavished on beth yet but when i think about it i want it so bad my teeth hurt

and i know i’m not alone here bc i have i think 3 jealous!rio prompts in my inbox rn

(i’m not saying i’m working on it but i’m also not not saying it)

god i just

can you imagine how much fun it could be to watch rio seethe over having to watch someone else be into beth

WHAT WOULD HE DO?????????

ESP IF HE COULDNT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT DIRECTLY BC ITS SOMEONE HE CAN’T INTERFERE WITH

oh christ and if beth responded to it??????????

oh gOD thE mESS

idk even if it doesn’t lead to a confrontation (but i feel like??? it would have to????) just the idea of the kinds of feelings they’d have to grapple with and confront within themselves is D E L I C I O U S

also, to jump back to an earlier point: brio sex

i know some people are feeling like the sexy chemistry between beth and rio is lacking this season

you know what’s great for chemistry? fuel

you know what provides great fuel? messy emotional situations that tug at intimate connections and make people feel out of control

you know what’s a messy emotional situation that tugs at intimate connections and make people feel out of control?

you probably guessed it

A TRIANGLE

(and we know that neither of them does well with feeling out of control period at all even without the intimate emotional stuff mixed in so like oh boy)

listen i am just saying given where they’re currently at with each other i cannot think of any situation more ripe for an explosive hook up than one or both of them feeling driven to reassert their claim/mark on the other

would it be nice? no, probably not

would i care? not even a little bit

(don’t you judge like any of y’all are any better than me)

look. to quote marie kondo horrifically out of context: i love mess and the mess potential in a romantic love triangle with beth and rio as two of the three points is stratospherically high.

#i hope this helps! or makes sense!#beth x rio #nbc good girls #in defense of love triangles #(a thing i never thought i'd tag tbh)#also while this is probs not a popular stance and debatably helpful #it's worth mentioning that the stakes of this are at the end of the day not very high #it's a tv show #i'm here to enjoy myself and when i stop enjoying myself i'll walk away #i'd be sad sure #but life's too short to put this much energy into something that does not spark joy #so idk remembering that makes it easier to not get that worked up #i lean into what i love and know that i can bounce if it doesn't deliver #shut up meg #anon

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erikavixin2006 · 3 years

Text

Drunk Marinette! Adrienette

'Adriennnnnnnn~ I want youuu~'

If Adrien's phone wasn't left charging at home he could've have a gallery full of pictures and videos of Marinette.

A very drunk Marinette.

It all started with a girls night out that Alya had suggested, along with Alix's suggestion of getting themselves hammered for the rest of the night. Juleka and Alix in the end were the ones who could take on their fifth glass of shots, while the others were drunk messes.

Ivan merely carried Mylene all the way to their car, Mylene, despite her small size and usually kind demeanor, had turned into a very dominant being, and Ivan had to hold down the color on his cheeks as Mylene rambled on about the things that was best kept censored.

Alix had to help a struggling Nino, who had to deal with Alya's hallucinations. The upcoming worldwide famous blogger had begun to chase after an imaginary bug heroine and cat hero. And Nino daresay his girlfriend is stronger than she looks.

Juleka only had to drag a tipsy Rose into their car, which was most probably the easiest task out of everyone here.

The girls represent different types of drunks, and most of them were easy to handle, but Marinette is a different story, and that brings them to where they are right now.

Adrien ignored his lady's suggestive words and had finally managed to carry Marinette into their car. He was in the middle of buckling her into her seat when her two tone arms wrapped around his neck, pulling his face close to her red ones. Giggling quietly as she whispered more seductive words into his ear. Her breath is hot and her voice is silky, definitely not helping his hormones at all.

'No Mari, you are drunk, you're not thinking straight,' Adrien strapped her to the chair safely, removing him from her arms and starting the car. Tikki had joined Plagg at the back of the car, giggling softly at the moment.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw her red face in a pouty expression, her bottom lip tugged out and her nose scrunched up, honestly the most adorable sight he had ever seen.

'I am thinking straight, if I'm not then you wouldn't be naked in my eyes right now,' the bluenette giggled seductively. Adrien almost crashed the car, tensing up like a frightened cat, his green eyes connected with his girlfriend's bluebell ones. The blue orbs most definitely checking him out.

Biting his bottom lip, he focused back on the road, attempting to ignore those seductive eyes, he spoke in a voice a bit too hard, 'Marinette, no,' .

He made a mistake.

Terrible one.

Marinette's bottom lip trembled, moisture surrounding her eyes. Adrien stopped at the red light, always the first to apologize, 'No wait, I'm sorry milady, please don't cry,' he panicked, devastated to see his bugaboo cry because of him.

Marinette brought her legs up to her chest, her black leggings complimented her Chat Noir themed blouse well. The woman hiccuped as sobs erupted from her throat, 'You don't love me anymore Adrien! I know I'm fat and ugly and one day you'll finally see that and go for more prettier girls, and then I'll be left alone with no one else to love meeeeee!' .

If this was a serious situation Adrien would go to the ends of the world just for her to be happy but this particular scene was far to funny and adorable to be sad, chuckling softly, Adrien caressed the woman's red cheeks and assured, 'I do love you buginette, oh my goodness you're too adorable for this world. You're not fat and you are most definitely not ugly. I love you and will not leave you, remember that okay?' his adoring eyes reflected in the drunk heroine's watery blue orbs.

Marinette hiccuped softly and wiped her tears away, holding up her pinky finger like a child, she softly spoke, 'Promise?' , Adrien's hear tugged in his chest, his sweet bugaboo is too precious for this world. Holding up his own pinky, he curled it around hers, 'Promise,' .

The cat hero sigh in relief as the woman resulted back into her quirky happy self, giggling at every moving image out of the car window, a whole colorful fantasy displaying in her perspective.

It was when they reached their apartment door did she rushed into their home, already in the bathroom and puking her guts out. Adrien placed his lady's bags down and rushed to her aid, holding her slightly long midnight blue hair away from her face, allowing her to puke a bit more comfortably. Plagg and Tikki followed in with their holders, already reaching their makeshift bed, retiring for the night. It had been a long day.

By the time Marinette finished, she was already collapsing weakly into her kitty's arms, almost passing out. Adrien smile softly, flushing the toilet before assisting her to their room.

After a few years of living together, Adrien and Marinette were both comfortable enough to assist each other in intimate ways. The blond changed her into one of his shirts, as the woman always wore his whenever they went to bed, saying it's much more comfy than her other sleepwear.

As soon as he laid the beautiful girl down onto her side of the bead, Marinette had already curled up into the blankets, fully drifting off to sleep, a contented smile on her lips.

Adrien eyes softened at the beauty, placing a kiss onto her forehead, he went out to clean the place, before collapsing into their bed tiredly, wrapping the girl in his arms, his way of escaping a tired day from work, and an ever more tiring task of taking care of his bug, not that he was complaining though.

__________

Marinette moaned softly in her sleep, waking up from her slumber with a throbbing headache.

She recalled the wild night she and her friends had last night, and memories came flooding into her mind, including parts of blurry images of her emotional outbursts on her boyfriend.

Her blush intensified as she recollected memories of her suggestive words and gestures towards the cat hero, not noticing the blond that was cradling her so gently in his arms had begin stirring awake, soft green orbs observing his lady's current state.

'Morning milady, you were a mess last night,' he reminded, feeling rather mischievous on a Saturday morning. Marinette buried her face into his chest, 'Sorry kitty, I shouldn't have drank too much and cause you trouble,' she mumbled weakly, her voice muffled in his shirt.

Adrien chuckled, 'Trouble? Never princess, you were absolutely adorable last night, it's a shame I left my phone at home, I could have created a new album dedicated to your drunk self bugaboo!' he tapped her nose softly.

Marinette rolled her eyes, 'And your albums of Ladybug and Marinette aren't enough?' she recalled back to the hundreds or maybe even thousands of pictures of herself Adrien had saved in his phone and laptop.

'I can never have enough pictures of you princess. I know beautiful art when I see one, and you my darling, are absolutely ethereal,' his fingers resting on her bottom lip, brushing it softly, watching the woman's cheeks flushed a pink hue.

'Now come on sweetheart, what would you like for breakfast my princess?' Adrien sat up from bed, years of being part of the Dupain-Cheng family the man had learn to make simple dishes for his lady.

Marientte groaned as she felt a wave of dizziness washed into her head, muttering for caffeine and something sweet for her morning hunger.

Adrien rubbed the heroine's temple softly, connecting their lips together, Marinette mumbled a "thank you" as they separated, breathing in his scent in an attempt to soothe her pain.

Adrien could get used to drunk Marinette.

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letterboxd · 3 years

Photo

Love Thy Neighbor.

With her nineteenth-century American romance, The World to Come—starring Katherine Waterston and Vanessa Kirby—screening now, director Mona Fastvold talks to Ella Kemp about the need to create images, striving for ASMR storytelling, and just how much we owe Terrence Malick.

“We’ve seen a lot of movies during this time period in America about what the husbands were out doing… but they had wives who are at home, living their completely separate lives. What were they up to?” —Mona Fastvold

In the American Northeast in the nineteenth century, life for farmers’ wives is physical, lonely, subject to both the extremes of weather and their husbands’ moods. When Abigail (Katherine Waterston) and Tallie (Vanessa Kirby) become neighbors in The World To Come, their lives become infinitely more bearable.

What unfolds is a careful study of the ways affection and understanding can bloom in the most unlikely places. Based on Jim Shepard’s short story of the same name, Mona Fastvold’s desperately romantic film starts where Abigail’s diary also begins: with a new year, and new neighbors. Through lyrical voice-over and closely drawn scenes, Abigail tells of how, in the wake of unimaginable loss, her life is cracked wide open by the arrival of effervescent, free-spirited Tallie. She speaks of grief and exhaustion, but also of astonishment and joy.

Katherine Waterston as Abigail and Vanessa Kirby as Tallie in ‘The World to Come’. / Photo by Vlad Cioplea

It’s a story felt through whispers as much as kisses, framed by the blustery winds of the East-Coast frontier—and by the spectre of their husbands (Casey Affleck as the downcast Dyer, Christopher Abbott as the jealous, disturbing Finney) finding out about their new love. Fastvold gives each character just enough attention to let the relationships that matter most rise up all on their own. She does so with words, poetry that somehow feels alive, and with music—specifically, a stunningly passionate clarinet soundtrack.

The World to Come won the Queer Lion at Venice last August (where it miraculously had an in-person premiere), and won many more hearts at Sundance in January. It’s Fastvold’s second film as director, after 2014’s The Sleepwalker, which also starred Christopher Abbott, and was co-written by Fastvold’s partner (and Vox Lux director) Brady Corbet.

What did you feel when reading Jim’s story for the first time? Mona Fastvold: It was a home I wanted to move into. It was this feeling of thinking, ‘This belongs in my universe, and I belong in this universe.’ And I all of a sudden had a few images that I felt a very strong need to create. The first thing that I felt really compelled to do was creating this physical expression of joy after the first kiss. I had this image of Katherine in this wide shot, completely open and just exposed. And I was really compelled to shoot her in the snow by the grave as well.

I also wanted to frame her being tied to the house with a rope, working her way through the snowstorm. There was a lot of amazing text and maybe fewer images in the script, because it’s written by these two really wonderful writers and authors of novels, not so much screenplays. So it’s not a very technical screenplay, and there were a lot of things left to me to work out, which I enjoyed. But the foundation was this really good text.

Mona Fastvold on the set of ‘The World to Come’. / Photo by Toni Salabasev

The text is so striking, in the way it’s so verbose but never feels stiff. How did you keep the words intact while bringing these emotions to life? I cast some really good actors, so that helps! Then when you’re working with this kind of text, it’s not really a text that you can improvise or play around as much, you really just need to honor it. For me it’s really about finding the movement that will support the beats of the text. I like the edit to be motivated by a gesture, something that says, “I want you to look at this”. I’m trying to make the rhythm more exciting. Ping-ponging back and forth is less exciting to me.

When rehearsing, we’d create movement either physically, or find changes through long pauses already in the text, and then upon finding those organic beats I’d figure out with my DP how we can stay in one take for as long as possible, until we find that moment which motivates a change. I never like there to be a camera movement just for there to be something cool visually. And there’s all this subtext in the text, all these messages Abigail and Tallie are trying to send to each other. When are you being direct? When are you being understood? When are you not?

Particularly in recent years, we’ve been fortunate to have a number of films that reframe period pieces about forbidden lesbian romances. Why do you think we keep coming back to this kind of story? A lot of people feel compelled to say these stories have always been there, and to claim that part of history. It’s not modern, it’s not a new thing, but it’s just that these stories have not been told much. Especially a love story that takes place among farmers. We know a little bit about upper-class stories from some literature, but not that much from that time period. So part of the appeal for me was to say: this is a part of history. Even though it’s not a story about Napoleon, this story about these two quiet, introverted women is still worth exploring. And we’ve seen a lot of movies during this time period in America about what the husbands were out doing. I’ve grown up watching these movies, but they had wives who are at home, living their completely separate lives. What were they up to?

Finney (Christopher Abbott) reads Tallie’s mail. / Photo by Vlad Cioplea

You mention the husbands—I felt watching this film that it was set in a very different world to the likes of Portrait of a Lady on Fire, which a lot of people loved precisely because of how few men were in the film. But here the husbands play a really important part within the story about these two women, helping to convey their frustration and limitations, without taking over. All characters in a story deserve equal counts of love and attention from the writers, directors and actors. It was incredibly important to portray the men with as much nuance as Abigail and Tallie. It makes for a more interesting story for them, that their relationships with their partners are complex—they’re not just these male archetypes who are terrible and awful. Dyer was an interesting character, in that he’s striving to understand even though he doesn’t quite. And he had different ambitions as well, but this is the situation he’s in, and he’s chosen a practical partner who he respects, and I guess loves and cares for. But they’re running a farm together, they’re business partners as well and depend on each other for survival. When he says “I’ll die without you” it’s quite literal, in a way. I wanted to break these characters open and make them more difficult to deal with, for themselves and for the women as well.

Your picture includes a beautiful, and really unexpected score by Daniel Blumberg—particularly in the use of the clarinet, which feels like its own kind of narrative. Can you talk me through the process of weaving that into the story? I brought in Daniel even when I was developing the script and working on casting early on. I kept listening to ‘Three Pieces for Solo Clarinet’ by Igor Stravinsky, and somehow the instrument felt really connected to Katherine’s voice-over. It was important that the voice-over was not slammed on top at the end. It’s there, I hope, to have a bit of an ASMR effect where you feel it draws you really close to Abigail in a hypnotic way. That you feel like you get this intimate experience of that character by having access to her life even if it doesn’t explain things too much.

So we wanted to have the score speaking to the voice-over, which we recorded long before we started shooting as well. We would play it on set and Daniel would come in and play music there. So constantly being in dialogue between the text being read and the music being played was an important part of the process.

It’s time for some Life in Film questions. What is your favorite ‘forbidden love’ story? A film I really love, which inspired The World to Come, is Olivia. It’s from 1951 and it’s directed by Jacqueline Audry, and it was one of the first lesbian on-screen kisses ever captured. It��s a great movie directed by a female director when that wasn’t so much of a thing. It was an important trailblazer for this film.

Marie-Claire Olivia and Simone Simon in Jacqueline Audry’s ‘Olivia’ (1951).

What’s your favourite “Dear Diary” movie, the one that best uses a confessional voice-over? Terrence Malick pretty much cornered that market with some beautiful, beautiful attempts at that. We definitely have to pay our respects! Particularly Days of Heaven is pretty amazing. The voice-over work there is extraordinary.

What is your go-to comfort movie? It’s funny because I was asked that a while ago and normally I would just be like, “Anything Nancy Meyers makes is just so lovely”. She makes these films that are just like candy. But during the pandemic, it’s just too hard to watch these cozy movies, because it just makes you feel depressed. So right now, the film I’ve watched the most in my lifetime is Eyes Wide Shut. I also find it to be a Christmas movie… If it’s on anywhere, I’ll always leave it on, or just watch a little piece of it.

What should Letterboxd members watch after The World to Come? First of all they should watch Olivia if they haven’t seen it, and then the other day I watched Martin Eden—it’s an incredible movie. So beautifully made.

What is the one film that first made you want to be a filmmaker? I grew up watching a lot of movies. My family are cinephiles and I’ve always loved films. I grew up on a steady diet of Ingmar Bergman’s films during my teenage years, and Tarkovsky too. Seeing those films made a really big impression me. But what really inspired me in many ways was seeing Claire Denis’ films. The way she approaches storytelling is so intuitive. It’s so exciting. That resonated with me, and later on I recognized some of that in Lucrecia Martel as well. I just love how she handles time and logic and character.

Related content

120 Lesbian Films to Watch Before Saying All Lesbian Cinema is the Same

Pride: A Chronological History of Queer Interest and LGBTQ+ Cinema

Films Directed by Women

Follow Bleecker Street on Letterboxd

Follow Ella on Letterboxd

‘The World to Come’ is currently in select US theaters, and will be available on demand from March 2, via Bleecker Street.

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stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 3 years

Text

💭- ɟ

Heellooo babies and dear Anons 👋🏼🤗 I’m so sorry for the delay, but I’ve been pretty busy. I haven’t forgotten about you. I’m alive, and as I said I would, even if late I will always answer you. And trust me, I feel so bad for the delay, but I’ve prepared a bonus at the end of the post that I hope will make it up to you 🙏🏼

Now. Without making you wait any longer, let’s move on to the questions Mari sent to me.

I can sure try, dear Anon 🙃 1) Yes, I firmly believe in the theory that Lauren went to Camila right after the concert. 2) Camila ended up in the hospital for the same reasons she’s been there other times too: stress, lack of sleep, dehydration, weariness, and, you know, general weakness because they were overworked. 3) No, she was already gone at that time. That episode was released on November 1, 2014, but was filmed on August 21st in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania during the ‘Austin Mahone: Live on Tour’. Camren were already official in April 🥳

I really don’t think she was watching porn, dear Anon. I have two theories on this, but neither of them includes porn. Theory number 1, Camila and Lauren arranged to pull a prank on the girls, not giving a damn about the cameraman. They faked those moans to prank DNA. Theory number 2, it was all true (at that age especially, are more the times when hormones control you and not the other way around 🤣) and they didn’t give a damn about the cameraman and anyone else also for an act of rebellion.

The takeover begins with Ally. While Ally talks to ‘us’, Lauren is shown for literally two seconds while she’s on a video call with someone. At 0:04, you can hear her say something like “Hey, it’s okay, baby”, followed by “I wanna do it” at 0:08. Lauren is no longer seen for the rest of the takeover.

The first “Ahh” said by (in my opinion) Camila, happens at 0:50. The way DNA crack up, and Ally’s cheeks that get so red with embarrassment, I find hilariously funny in itself. As well as the teasing made by DNA towards Camila. But Normani… NORMANI KORDEI HAMILTON, guuurl! And do we want to talk about Ally? The “You too with your water” said in THAT way after Camila’s “Have fun with the movie”? Whatcha mean, girl, whatcha mean? 😝🤣

At 2:05, while Camila is eating, Lauren says something like “Gimmie” to her before Mila reaches out her arm to really give her whatever she’s eating. At 3:00, people hear “Keep going”, while I hear “Don’t stop” with a moan, immediately followed then by the other “Ahh”. Lauren, in my opinion. “Ahh” that Mani then repeats at 3:08 to make fun of them. And no, don’t tell me things like ‘but she hit her head’ because if you see the scene in slow motion, at 0.5 speed, you’ll notice that she doesn’t hit it at all and that she said it to imitate them and make Ally laugh. And then, there’s the difference in the “oww” she says at 3:14 when she hurts herself for real, and you can see how different the two verses are.

Whether it was true, or whether it was a prank, for me this is still a big proof. And this big proof, Camila and Lauren didn’t give it to me per se. Ally, Mani, and Dinah did. Why? Well, because all of this does nothing but show how used to hear that kind of thing they were. So used to it, that not only were they comfortable enough (except for having a camera pointed at their face during this time) but that they even teased them.

I don’t know if they didn’t really notice or if they did it on purpose to get more views and likes. I just know that AwesomenessTV no longer has it in their videos, but the Fifth Harmony page does. Same page that was/is managed by whom? By the same people who still want Camren dead but who exploit them when it suits them best. As in this case because views and likes produce money that ends up in their pockets.

Yes, dear anon, I truly believe that.

The funny thing for me is that Lauren called Paul Martinez her first love when she was much younger. But that only after their breakup. At the time, she even believed that they would’ve gotten married. She explained that they’d been best friends before they got together and that he then broke up with her and that she didn’t eat, didn’t sleep, and that she was able to move on only when she wrote her first song about how she felt about it on September 17, 2011.

The reality of the situation, however, is different. Lauren really fell in love for the first time with Camila. She realized the real difference later. Lauren and Paul were together for not even two months. They were together for literally only 50 days. That one, I mostly define it as a strong infatuation. First experience of a relationship, even if brief, with someone. First time she has experienced the real pain of a breakup and having a broken heart. And at that age, everything seems more and more intensified and even worse than it is. For Lauren who’s an empath, even more so.

So, yeah. I truly believe that both were the first true and intense love of the other. And no, dear. No one has topped that yet. Neither for one, nor for the other 😉

If you don’t mind, dear Anon, I would prefer to answer your questions in reverse and start from the second question first because it connects to the first one. That way, it’s simply easier for me to explain to you what I mean 😄

I don’t think so?! I mean, I’ve never experienced love at first sight. I’m a rational person and who follows logic a lot, therefore, if I were to think to want to shout a serious ‘I LOVE YOU!’ on the face of a person I’ve just met and of whom I know absolutely nothing, I’d feel crazy. How could I think I’m already in love with them? It’s something I would think to be absurd because honestly, what the fuck? I’d think of being definitely delirious.

I know what it’s like to look into a person’s eyes and think ‘wow’. I know what it’s like to look into those same eyes and lose myself in them, and feel myself melt, and getting soft, and feel light, and literally feel a passage of energy through my body that turns into goosebumps.

I know that kind of instinct. An instinct that pushes you towards this person, that pushes you not to let them go. You can’t let them go and you don’t want to. You want to know this person. Right from the start. You want to know their interests, what they like, what music they listen to, and everything in between. It’s something you can’t control. You can try, but it’s impossible and it gets you out of your mind. It’s difficult, weird, and exciting at the same time. And it’s different from the normal attraction. The normal attraction is only physical. This is mental. It comes from your mind but is also guided by something else. Something that after, only after, you understand to be your heart. And what does THAT mean? That you’re starting to fall. And after having really got to know the person better, also feeling esteem for them, after that complicity was created, that passion, that intimate and mental connection, that’s where true love is born.

When you see someone for the first time, and you like that someone, you obviously feel attraction. Love, true love, happens over time. And that’s what I think happened to Camila. I think she felt an immediate attraction as soon as she saw her (2012), which turned into a huge crush (2013), and it started with the fall which in turn blossomed into love (2014). Maybe she didn’t understand this metamorphosis right away. Maybe she has understood this over time and maturing. And the moment that she understood it (ex: Terrified, Must Be Love), was also the moment in which she was able to explain it to us and deliver it to us in different songs. Another striking example that comes to mind now is “Seventeen when I started to fall” 🎵.

It was different for Lauren, but the process was similar. She herself said she found her cute initially. I think that the attraction was born when she started to know her better (2012), and that this was already an alarm bell for her because she didn’t want to. And not because she didn’t want to be attracted to Camila, but because she didn’t want to be attracted to a girl again. One with whom she should’ve spent a lot of time together, by the way. So she tried to keep this attraction at bay. But the more she tried, the more it grew. The more she denied herself the desire, the more she got to knew Camila, and the more attracted she was to her. Then she succumbed to the attraction and simultaneously started to develop a crush, and this threw her for a panic loop even more because she COULD NOT have feelings for a girl. She simply couldn’t. And that’s how the 2013’s back and forth started, the ‘Like Friends Do’ situation that led her to start falling hard and the eventual definite falling in love in 2014.

Good question, dear Anon, a really good question. You see, EL has always puzzled me. In the sense that for quite some time, I didn’t know whether to believe if they were really a friend of theirs, or if it was just a person in the industry who had only worked with them for a certain period of time, or if they were just a fan with a huge luck in guessing certain things.

I think this because many times they’ve contradicted themselves and said very general things that anyone with a good knowledge of the girls and how the industry works could have predicted. I’ll give you some examples. I remember that at first, they said they had a relative in the industry, then they changed and said something like Lauren was one of the most important people in their life. Then they changed again and said they knew a lot about the Camren’s relationship because they were close to them, but that they wouldn’t delve into their private lives out of respect, yet, at the same time, they said about their first kiss and their first time. Um.. like, what?? How does this make any sense? Stick to one version, can’t ya? That alone, already made me doubt their credibility very much.

Another example I can give you is that they said the purpose for the Bad Things music video was to show how straight Camila was and to kill the rumors about her sexuality. But then, they said the video would have hints of her true sexuality and Camren’s too. Um… Again. What?? Not only did they contradict themselves, but they also said something rather generic and predictable. Think about it. If the video was to kill those rumors and straighten her image in the first place, why then would they have agreed to put hints on her sexuality and on something related to Camren? What would have been the point of trying to straighten her image then?? Not to mention that it’s pretty easy to say that we’d find things related to Camren when there are CS who would be able to find something even when there isn’t. Because we know that there were and still are those who find things that are actually completely absurd and non-existent just for the sake of having proofs. So, do you see my point here?

As for who they were, you can rule out most of the industry people who worked with them, and DNA and all people related to them (DNA) for one simple reason: ExposingLaucy was fluent in both English and Spanish. You can rule out Camren because they would never, ever risk being hacked and discovered. And that leaves us to the friends of the Camren’s clique and the fans. Wanna know what makes me think this person was actually a fan? The fact that EL also knew a lot about 1D and that Camila and Lauren’s true friends never got involved in Camren’s world publicly. You’ve never seen Marielle and Sandra or Brittany, Keana, Alexa, and Erica say anything about Camren publicly. They certainly wouldn’t have created an account to expose Laucy when exposing Laucy would’ve meant not helping their friends. And then, come on, they had their own lives to think about.

Now I want you to think about something else too, and I’m gonna take precisely me as an example. In my very first post, ‘There is a light at the end of the tunnel’, I created a little skit during which Shaky misgendered Sam Smith. As we all know, it actually happened in real life just over a month after my post. In my ‘PR stunt relationships’ post, I said I was convinced that Shabby had grown his hair out to look like his obsession for years: Matthew McConaughey. Five days after my post, Chauffeur admitted exactly that and of copying his style in general in the Late Late Show interview.

What does this mean? That I knew all this was going to happen? Hell, no. That I’m a white version of Raven Baxter? Maybe 😎🤣 No, but kidding aside, I just said what I thought of him both times. I only expressed my opinions, and the first time I did it through that skit because my gut had always told me that he’d be the kind of guy to be an insensitive asshole like that. And by the way, I was shocked, surprised, and even a little proud both times because I was actually right. But what’s the point? My point is that I could’ve taken advantage of this from the start. I could’ve pretended to be an insider from my first post and prove to you that I was one for real with these two things that I would’ve told you were ‘proofs’. It would’ve been pretty easy. But I didn’t. I would never have been stupid enough to start something so risky with the risk of being discovered as has happened with many other fans. And I never would have done it especially because that’s not who I am. I don’t need to pretend to be something that I’m not, thank you very much 😁 I’m more genuine than that.

Unfortunately, though, there are a lot of people who don’t think like me who have and continue to create accounts pretending to be insiders. All of those accounts are nothing more than fans who crave attention. Fans who pretend to be insiders who have information, without ever proving them though, and who say generic things and who sometimes are lucky enough to guess. That’s all. But EL, had something these other fans didn’t have. My best guess? EL was just a Harmonizer lucky enough to have someone from the industry in their (5H) circle, maybe really a relative as they initially said, who sometimes passed information to them.

Because Camila was constantly out there working, dear Anon. You know, interviews, performances, tours, you name it 🙃

I’ve already answered this question, dear Anon. Go check out my ‘🗯️ - ɟ’ post 😄

Yes, dear Anon, they’ve both hurt each other many times, and you can imagine how a parent might feel about seeing their child suffer. I’m not a mom, so I can’t speak from experience in that department, but I can give you another type of example to make you understand and maybe even make you better relate to what I want to tell you.

Imagine having two friends, okay? These two friends, are both your best friends. You care about them in the same equal way. These two friends of yours are together, and every time they fight, they come to you to vent. You unintentionally find yourself in the center of this situation, but not because you get in the way or because you take the side of one of them, but simply because you’re literally the person they go to for venting and to ask for advice. Every time you hear that one of the two has fucked up, you automatically ‘hate them’, in many quotes, for making the other one suffer. Maybe you also try to justify their actions because you know them and love them and you want the two of them to make up, but it’s still automatic for you to feel momentary anger towards them for making your other friend suffer.

Now that you know what I mean, double, triple, even quadruple, that momentary anger because that’s what I think a parent feels. It must not be easy to see your child suffer in general, but to see them suffer for someone you know, who is the cause, must be even harder. Especially in their case that they saw Lauren grow up with their daughter.

Camila’s number one best friend is Sinu. Camila has always told her everything. And Sinu has also always been very present, especially since the beginning of September 2016 when she’s become a permanent presence. Sinu must have seen the developments over the years with her own eyes. And I also think that Sinu and Ale have that kind of relationship where they talk about everything. I don’t know, but I think the Cabellos would have preferred to see her single rather than in that kind of pain in those times of severe toxicity between them. Because those are the periods that Camila refers to in both songs if you notice (I don’t consider First Man in this case).

Don’t get me wrong. I still to this day think Camila and Lauren are considered as daughters by both families. The problem at the time, wasn’t Lauren specifically because I think they would’ve thought it no matter who their daughter was with. And same thing in reverse for Camila for the Jaureguis. Besides, I don’t think the Cabellos consider Lauren a bad person at all, in fact, quite the opposite. The Cabellos love Lauren and the Jaureguis love Camila. It’s always been like this, despite they’ve tried to make us believe otherwise. I think that in those two songs Camila has only blown it out of proportion for the sake of the songs themselves and that’s why it looks more serious than it really is.

I think the answer is in the question itself, dear Anon 😆 Their problems have always been caused by the lack of communication. So they fixed that. They’ve learned to speak for real. To communicate for real and without keeping anything inside. They’ve learned to listen and not bite each other’s heads off. They’ve learned to put pride aside. And they both have set boundaries. They healed each other the same way they broke each other: together. I don’t think they’re 100% there yet, also because no relationship is perfect, but I think they’ve improved a lot compared to before. Or at least, I hope so since mine are just assumptions.

No, dear Anon. I never believed that rumor, and unless a picture of them kissing or something like that gets leaked, I don’t think I ever will. I’m sorry, but that sounds way too ridiculous for me to even think about it 🤷🏻‍♀‍

As for your last question, I believe Ari has already answered it herself in 2019. You remember Monopoly, right? Well, that “I like women and men” made me jump from my chair so high, I don’t know how I didn’t break something when I landed on my feet. I don’t even know how I landed on my feet and not tripped or directly fell to the floor honestly 🤣 “I’ve been on a roll, where you been?” dead, Ari. I died after what you said, okay? I knew about Victoria because she’d already come out, but you hadn’t done it yet so don’t ask me where I’ve been because I’ll tell you where I’m now, and I. Am. Deeeaad! Dead.

Ahh… How I wish our Mila would come out in that same so chill way, you know? Without making too much of a big deal out of it 🤩 But anyway. Ari didn’t want to put a label on herself because she never felt the need to, and I respect that 🙏🏼

BONUS

I call it ‘The truth in the lies’.

I was re-reading some old Camila’s interviews when I came across a particular one that made me literally burst out laughing, shake my head, and say what with them has now become my phrase: “The math… The math”. I’m referring to the interview with BBS News titled: Camila Cabello: ‘An absolute force of nature’, published on December 5, 2019.

I copied and pasted the part that interests us: As soon as the Grammys wrapped up, however, Cabello stepped away from the limelight to concentrate on her second album. “She said, 'I’m not going to come out of the studio until I’ve beaten my last album,’” recalls her manager, Roger Gold. In total, it took eight months, covering a period where “other artists were putting out back-to-back albums, only a few months apart,” he says. “So it was hard for us, and for her, to ignore the noise and go into the studio and take the time she needed.”

I’d like to underline the ‘As soon as the Grammys wrapped up’ part (big ass liar 🙄), and the more important one ‘In total, it took eight months’ (to complete the album). I repeat, 8 MONTHS. And that’s the truth. Okay, are you ready to do the math and for the explanation? Good 😏

The Grammys they were referring to were the Grammy Awards which took place on January 12, 2019. Romance was released on December 6, 2019. From January 12, 2019, to December 6, 2019, it’s 10 months. We already know regardless that this would’ve turned out to be bullshit because Camila started recording the album in September 2018, and not January 2019. But just to prove to you even more how much bullshit they said for this album, I wanted to include it anyway.

Would you like to see another proof with the same date? Okay. Now let’s try from January 12, 2019, to July 12, 2019, which is the PR day in San Francisco. It’s 6 months. You can also move the dates by a few days because it’s logical that Camila wouldn’t have recorded the same night as the Grammys and, according to their stupid narrative, Used to This was recorded right after San Francisco and was the last song recorded for the album. Wanna try, I don’t know, from January 15, 2019, to July 16, 2019? It’s still SIX MONTHS and NOT EIGHT 🤣 Let’s go on.

Let’s try to calculate with the actual recording start date now and not their narrative dates.

We know First Man was the first song recorded for Romance, and we know it was recorded in Nashville. Camila was on tour for Taylor Swift’s Reputation Stadium Tour at the time. Two dates that interest us on that tour are the one of September 8th in Kansas City, and the one of September 15th in Indianapolis. Why? Because for those five days in between, from the 9th to the 14th, Camila stayed in Nashville. For the first few days, she worked first with Amy Wadge on First Man, and then in the following ones, with Ed Sheeran on South of the Border, which they finished on September 14th. All you have to do to have a confirmation of this is to check out the video C posted on July 12, 2019, where she’s rehearsing her verse with Ed, and the picture she posted on September 14, 2018, and you’ll notice that she’s wearing the same shirt.

Since First Man was finished either one day or two prior, let’s take the South of the Border date as a reference for good measure. Also because as I showed you before, moving the date by just a few days to do the calculation still leads to the same result.

So let’s try, from September 14, 2018 (South of the Border) to December 6, 2019 (Romance album release) it’s 1 year and almost 3 months. Soooo, nope. Next.

From September 14, 2018, to July 12, 2019 (PR in San Francisco) it’s 10 months. 🤣🤣🤣 NEXT.

Come on, Faby, when are you gonna tell us the real date that corresponds to the 8 months? Now, babies, now. And I actually can offer you two.

We know that Camila finished Romance in May, and we had even more confirmation when she posted an Insta-story on June 3rd of a Dropbox folder called CC2 with the album already mastered and more than ready. Wanna try with both a May date and this June date? Okay.

From September 14, 2018, to May 21, 2019, that is, the rehearsals for the Señorita’s music video, it’s 8 months and 7 days exactly.

From September 14, 2018, to June 3, 2019, that is, the IG-story of the Dropbox folder, it’s 8 months and 20 days exactly.

We have our winners, guys 🥳🥳🥳

Let’s recap just because:

From January 12, 2019 (Grammy Awards 2019) to December 6, 2019 (Romance album release) it’s 10 months.

From January 12, 2019 (Grammy Awards 2019) to July 12, 2019 (PR in San Francisco) it’s 6 months.

From September 14, 2018 (South of the Border) to December 6, 2019 (Romance album release) it’s 1 year and almost 3 months.

From September 14, 2018 (South of the Border) to July 12, 2019 (PR in San Francisco) it’s 10 months.

From September 14, 2018 (South of the Border) to May 21, 2019 (Rehearsals for the Señorita’s music video) it’s 8 months and 7 days exactly.

From September 14, 2018 (South of the Border) to June 3, 2019 (Dropbox folder) it’s 8 months and 20 days exactly.

Now do you understand why ‘The truth in the lies’? 😏

Aaaaand I’m done 👩🏻‍💻 I hope I made it up to you with this bonus 🤞🏼 Thank you, Mari, and thanks to all of you for your questions, I swear I’m loving them more and more, so please, continue to feel free to send me as many as you want 🤗💪🏼

Remember to be kind, to others and to yourself. Remember to be a good example. Remember to be patient. Stay safe and take care of yourself. I send you lots of love and virtual hugs 🤗🤗🤗 Oh and, of course, keep shipping our submarine 🤣 I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️

___

Ten answers for ten anons, that’s a lot of writing to do. Great work, F

#submission #f anon #anon #answers #long ass post #10 x 10

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 4 years

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Into the last turn of the spiral

I’m absolutely thrilled with this episode and where things are going in this long finale. I know that many Dean fans are not happy with these last few seasons, but I am appreciating them intensely for their theme, the big question that the show asked the characters and asked us. What is real? Do we know? Did we know? What show have we been watching? This season brought the question to the spotlight, and this episode stares at us in the eyes and asks us. Do we understand? Did we understand what was going on?

Let’s start this with something partly silly: I admit I have no idea what Sam said in the teary speech. My brain was too busy processing what was going on with Chuck, and I realized I hadn’t processed what was being said in the scene between Sam and Dean. Then again, isn’t this some sort of involuntary meta commentary? Is it even relevant to know exactly the details of the bro moment, when it’s the last turn of a spiral we’ve seen over and over, the last turn of the spiral of Chuck’s story - the only story he knows, the conflict between siblings - and the way Dean and Sam stumble their way through it and (partly) out of it?

Oh, Chuck. We were all convinced that what he said was true. We fell for it like anyone else. That the “bad writing” was him frustratedly trying to continue a story that didn’t work anymore, occasionally punishing his characters out of pettiness, the monsters and the theatrical cases and the bad luck and whatever... But it was his great plan. His visions to Sam were the lie, and of course they were. The red herring. Everything was a red herring to conceal what he really aimed at - his sister. Everything else was a tool.

And it’s so interesting to see what his grand plan was based on. Because Chuck wanted something - Amara in his hands, literally - and he knew that he couldn’t convince her or force her, she had made it clear. So he did the only thing he could, really, which happened to be the smartest move: he used Dean to get at her. Dean, whom she always had a connection (and he lies to her, tells her the connection was real, not his writing, but of course it’s a lie, he needs her to believe that her connection to Dean was real, so that she could feel devastated enough by Dean’s betrayal to go back to him). It worked.

(It also says a lot of Chuck’s complex relationship towards Dean. He needs Dean to achieve his goals, he needs his sister to be manipulated by Dean to be able to manipulate her. He knows Dean can succeed where he can’t. He knows Dean has a power over his sister that he doesn’t have.)

To get at Dean, in turn, no old cards could work: not even Mary’s death was enough to manipulate him into killing Jack on Chuck’s orders, and what biggest motivation than grief over his mother’s death? So Chuck used the ultimate card, freedom. The ultimate freedom, a plan to kill God himself, the great puppetmaster that toyed with him all his life. And of course this plan would come from Death, which Dean has always felt a sort of bond/pull towards, and whom Dean somewhat trusts. It worked.

Chuck manipulated Amara using Dean, and in turn manipulated Dean using Death. It was a very smart plan.

On the other hand there’s Sam. Oh, I don’t think what the Empty said about Billie was true, I don’t think anything about that scene was real (or, at least not fully). Because it’s a perfect parallel - Dean lies to one cosmic entity, Amara, and drives Amara where she needs to be in Chuck’s plan, i.e. literally into Chuck’s hands. Sam lies to another cosmic entity, the Empty, which gives Sam the exact information he needs to drive himself where he needs to be in Chuck’s plan, i.e. trying to stop Dean from using Jack to kill Chuck, triggering the brothers’ conflict grand finale.

In fact, the way the episode is structured in chapters named Amara, Dean, and Sam, suggests that those three are the manipulations Chuck is performing (the metatextuality of giving titles to parts of the story obviously is supposed to make us think about it from Chuck’s perspective, as Chuck’s doing). Amara gets emotionally manipulated, Dean gets manipulated through the supposed plan to kill Chuck, and Sam gets manipulated into his own role in Chuck’s story, that is to get motivated by the encounter with the Empty (supposedly) to go and stop Dean. The information he gets in Death’s library are perfectly tailored on Sam’s characterization and role in the story...

It’s all very poetic way, in fact, because in the season 10 finale Sam convinced Dean not to carry out the plan proposed by Death (killing Sam) while the spell to free Amara out in the world was performed. Now, Chuck has Sam try to stop Dean from carrying out a plan proposed by Death, when in fact the entire objective is for Chuck to absorbe Amara. Irony...

Then again, we hardly know anything where Billie or the Empty are concerned, not really. What is real indeed.

Oh, and Jack. Just recently I was talking with @pathofserendipity about how many of us have had troubles accepting Jack as he was presented to us by the narrative. It felt too abupt to throw him out there as a son to the main characters, not even “family” like Bobby or Charlie or Kevin would, but a son altogether, when a parental bond is something so deep and intimate. Jack felt like a plot device put there to fulfill some very specific functions - plotty plot thingies, and giving Cas something more important than Dean. In fact many DeanCas fans have been disappointed by how Jack basically disrupted the DeanCas narrative by almost replacing Dean as Cas’ most beloved person.

And now Chuck basically tells us that Jack was specifically engineered to be a plot device. And doesn’t just tell that to us. He does it by using a very specific mirror of Dean and Cas that, given the context, feels exactly like a mockery of their relationship. Not only by making the mirror a hypersexual, weird couple, where the Cas mirror is sort of reminiscent of the “endverse” version of Cas. But also, Adam says that the plan to kill God was his and Serafina’s “baby” - also mocking, since the plan requires Jack’s death, Jack basically being Dean and Cas’ “baby”.

Such a cruel irony in putting a mirror like that in this very last turn of the spiral, and so very like Chuck.

So, as we mentioned, this episode was structured in chapters based on the characters manipulated by Chuck. Of course the next episode will be about Cas, the one that cannot be manipulated, not really. Well, I’d say that his bond with Jack is too suspicious and was engineered to drive conflict between him and Dean (so much conflict it has driven between them, in fact, although their relationship never broke). But we know, and Chuck very well knows, that Cas is a damn bastard that always ends doing what he’s not supposed to do...

#spn meta #spn spoilers #spn 15x17 #my spn thoughts #chuck is just a shitty writer that doesn't do endings #lol @ my tag for his manipulation of the story #chuck and amara #chuck and dean #spn

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hawkland · 3 years

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Destiel fic recs #3 - the (mostly) longfic edition!

It’s been a while since my last rec post - mostly because I’ve been wallowing in a number of longer fics (50-350k!) so it’s taken me a while to have enough to talk about in one post (and boy do I talk a lot, here!)

With these longer fics, I do sometimes have some caveats with my recs - or at least reasons why they might not appeal to every Dean/Cas reader. But note that if I didn’t overall strongly recommend reading the fic I wouldn’t include it in my recs here at all, so any quibbles I bring up are minor compared to my overall enjoyment of the stories. Just, I don’t want someone to commit to a long read without knowing what they’re getting into and why it might not be their thing.

I’m still not into reading complete setting AUs at this time, but a lot/most of these are canon-divergence AUs, often written/set at the end of a season and giving an alternative take on what happened next. I love those kind of stories, as it’s often so interesting to see how fans thought of what might happen in the next season (especially when it’s better than what we actually got.)

Onto the recs & discussion behind the cut!

The Sinking Ship by UnfortunatelyObsessed (114k). This is a story that ripped my heart to pieces (in a good way!). I stayed up all night to finish reading because I simply couldn’t stop once I started on it and it gave me a massive fic hanger from all my emotions. Season 14 divergence, imagine if Dean did go into the Ma’lak box to trap Michael under the ocean with him forever...and once there, he discovers that Cas has stowed away with him. Because of course Cas would never leave Dean to such a fate on his own.

I loved literally. Every. Damn. Thing. About this fic. Cas telling Dean stories to pass the (endless) time. Their small intimate moments while realizing they can never consummate physically while trapped in the box but finding every other way to express their love. The absolute heartbreak that had me SOBBING when Michael fights for control of Dean and destroys everything they’ve built together and Cas thinks he’s lost Dean forever. Sam & Gabriel & Rowena & Claire & Jack doing everything they can to devise a plan back home to try to save them both while keeping Michael trapped. Also even just the wonderfully sensitive portrayal of aroace Jack still closely bonded with Claire and Maggie and just. And just. This is a story I’ve already re-read just to savor how much I loved it and its portrayal of everyone in TFW 2.0 and their extended family, it just hit my id in all the most incredible ways and I have nothing but absolute love for this one.

Beautiful Chaos by anyrei, mugglerock (141k). Season 9 canon-divergence, in which Dean doesn’t simply abandon Cas to fend for himself post 09x03. Instead he sets Cas up in a kind of squatter’s nest in an abandoned building near the bunker so he can keep tabs on him and help him out.

This fic definitely gets the award for FILTHIEST, HOTTEST, SMUTTIEST Dean/Cas (and Cas/other) I’ve read in, like, ever, for human!Cas turns out to be a rather insatiable sex fiend/cock slut and Dean is too up his own repressed ass to easily give Cas what he wants/needs. It is dark at times, Cas ends up in some very unsavory/non-con situations, and the authors do mention that they tried to hone in on endverse!Cas’s characterization more than what we saw in Season 9...so you might roll with it, you might not. I adored their original character Jerry the tattoo artist in this, and like I said it was seriously hot (if you are good with total bottom!Cas and Cas with others, I know those are not everyone’s cuppa). I did have a few minor issues. For one, the last chapter felt a bit rushed and hand-wavey, but clearly the authors weren’t fond of the canon conflicts of season 9 & 10 (Abbadon, Mark of Cain) and just wanted to be done with them. Can’t say I really blame them. And I did have to laugh a bit at Lebanon, Kansas apparently having such a bustling gay bar/tattoo artist/etc scene being someone from a butt-fuck nowhere American small town myself. But, SPN was never all that realistic in how Lebanon was shown (and yes I’ve spent too much time roaming around it on Google maps), so if you can suspend some disbelief this is an awesome hot/angsty/occasionally heartbreaking read.

These Forsaken Lands by destielpasta (53k). I came upon this story when looking for fics that dealt in some way with the aftermath of Godstiel. This is a wonderfully atmospheric late Season 9 “fill-in” case fic (post Meta-fiction) where Cas ends up in a small town that had been visited by Godstiel...and while initially residents have reaped much good fortune, there has suddenly been a wave of deaths/bad events and he is determined to find out what happened and set things right. He calls upon Dean for help, but Dean is fighting the Mark of Cain and it’s going to take a lot to get past its control and find a way out for both of them. Together they work on repairing an old church while trying to repair each other and their damaged relationship.

I loved this story for how well written it was, really invoking a gothic small-town/Americana atmosphere. The original characters blend in very well with the case-fic at the center of it, and the author deals really well with Cas at a very fragile point when he’s running on borrowed grace and trying to navigate Dean’s MoC-enhanced anger. It’s Dean/Cas but actually much more of a Cas character study, so I highly recommend it to my fellow/compatriot Cas-girls who love a good wallow in his head.

Mixed Emotions by Tierra469 (50k). Canon 12 “parallel” fic that then goes canon-divergent with the season finale. I actually stumbled on this while in the mood to read some Cas/ or & Mary fic after enjoying their interactions in Season 12 (don’t hate me). This is sort of two fics in one. The first half focuses mostly on filling in the gaps with some critical S12 Cas episodes, especially Cas & Mary’s developing friendship (and one night of something more). But of course Cas’s feelings for Dean (and vice-versa) are always there, and when Cas figures out a way to get his powers fully back, the question is if Dean can open himself up to be vulnerable - and express love - the way Cas needs for this to work.

This was an interesting fic in a lot of ways. I loved the author’s take on angels’ connections to their vessels and grace, it was very consistent in a way the show sometimes/often wasn’t. Cas is very Cas in not understanding privacy and personal boundaries (so he does some questionable things, admittedly, which might squick some readers). The smut is fucking HOT - though I will caution at one point it involves Cas temporarily in a younger (NOT underage) female vessel (and the story does point out Dean’s discomfort with this and some of the consent issues involved, I don’t want to spoil too much). I wanted the Mary plot resolved more than it was, but I still recommend this story strongly for the quality of the writing and unique/well-developed take on angel lore and mechanics that was quite different from what I’m used to reading.

We Are Either Here Or Not Here by petramacneary (54k) A post-season 12 fic that goes on a different tangent to how Cas returns, and what happens in the meantime. Particularly, it offers a different take on what apocalypseverse!Cas would be like—as Mary makes her own way back from that world with AU!Cas as her prisoner.

What I loved about this story: first off, BAMF!Mary is awesome here. Dean is so heartbreaking, not quite knowing what the fuck to do with this different Cas who at times is just a painful reminder of who/what Dean’s lost...but then becomes a chance for Dean to say and express some of the things he always was afraid to in the past. And when (real/our) Cas finally returns, there’s some very interesting stuff that happens with both Cas & AU!Cas and Cas & Dean that I don’t want to spoil. (And let’s also just say that when real!Cas and Dean finally get together it’s AMAZINGLY awesome. Like, hot Impala!sex. So is the artwork that goes with this story.)

You Can Keep Holding On by NorthernSparrow (353k) The longest fic I read this time around and probably the one I have the most mixed feelings about, but a while on I do keep thinking about parts of it so I do rec it with some caveats. This is a canon-divergence after the end of Season 11. Dean & Sam find Cas after he’s been blasted out of the bunker...to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Mary isn’t in this one except for a brief appearance/visit, which Dean thinks is Amara’s gift to him. Life seems good for a while, they’re enjoying dealing with mundane problems for a change, but then Cas seems to be pulling away from the brothers, spending less and less time with them at the bunker, taking a mundane job at another Gas ‘n Sip, and clearly preoccupied by something else. Or is it someone else? Dean is worried yet finally ready to accept that Cas maybe has a girlfriend, or a boyfried, but then it turns out that is not at all what Cas has going on. It’s something far more serious than that.

Honestly I almost stopped reading when the reveal happened - it’s a subject that’s very sensitive to me from personal/family experience and not something I usually like reading in fic (especially if there is a sad ending.) So I admit I jumped ahead to read how it would end first before committing to finishing it. And I am glad I did, because the author handles the subject matter with a realism and obvious knowledge of experience as well, not how I often see it in fanfic. There are a lot of emotional ups and downs but it’s nice seeing Dean in his momma-hen/mode, and Sam is so so good in this one! I think I enjoyed Sam’s characterization here most of all! And the author has a really cool/well developed angel/wing lore that hit my wing-kink pretty hard. I do think it could have all been edited down a bit - I found myself skimming parts, especially in the last third, just to get on with things. But it’s definitely a story you can disappear into for a good long time and I’ve bookmarked the author’s other works to read later, so again, I do rec it even with a few caveats.

A few shorter fics, too, just because I don’t want to forget about them...

Eleven Erogenous Zones of a Fallen Angel by almaasi (15k) Pure gratuitous wing!kink for me :) Cas uses the last of his grace to manifest his wings...but then is stuck with them in his human form and not even able to use them to fly as he used to. This presents a lot of awkward problems to deal with but also the excuse for Dean to help him keep them clean :) I did say wing kink, right? :D :D I loved how Cas seemed confused about the pleasure signals he got from bathing vs. sex vs. grooming and all of that. It’s sweet and hot and has my favorite kind of caretaking Dean in it.

Fossil Tracks by SegaBarrett (3k). Dean & Sam & Cas and dinosaurs. How can you go wrong with that? One of the SPN stories from the Id Pro Quo collection I really enjoyed reading (and didn’t write myself, lol).

#destiel recs #my fic recs #deancas recs #fandom that ate my life hello #destiel fic recs #my destiel recs

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the-awkward-outlaw · 3 years

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The art of communication - Plus sized Arthur x female reader

Alright, here’s another request from AO3. This one was fun to write, mostly because of how well it all came together.

User asked: I was thinking that maybe Arthur has been gaining some weight (cause max weight Arthur is so valid I'm gonna cry) and it makes him insecure so he pushes reader away and doesn't look at her during sex and she thinks she's the problem and it's angsty but there's a happy ending because it's what everyone deserves.

Masterlist

Read on AO3

Warnings: mentions of nsft (but mild)

You glance out the window, your hands shakily kneading the dough for the bread you’re making. Arthur’s outside, hauling some hay over for the horses. It feels like you should be content and happy, but the truth is you don’t. Arthur’s been distant with you lately. You have an idea as to why, and you feel incredibly guilty for it.

A year ago, you and Arthur abandoned the gang you’d both run with for the majority of your lives. Dutch was beyond reach after Hosea died and when he left Arthur to die in the oil fields, you convinced him that it was time to leave. You’d both been thinking about leaving the gang for a little while before then just because things were not getting better. You desperately wanted to try to have a normal life with Arthur at that point, and when he realized that Dutch was not loyal to him, he finally agreed.

However the transition was not easy for either of you, but it was especially hard on Arthur. The two of you fled west from Annesburg, and stumbled upon Valentine once again. Enough time had passed that people didn’t connect him with the massacre from months before and you heard that the property Painted Sky just across the river from Horseshoe Overlook was up for sale.

You looked at the property upon the plateau. It was perfect for you and Arthur with enough space for there to be horses and a garden, so you dared to wander into Blackwater and steal the money that had been lost at the beginning of this whole mess. With that, you paid for the place and moved in.

For the first several months, you and Arthur couldn’t have been happier. For the most part, you both worked on the property, raising horses and growing vegetables. Sometimes he’d bring in a wild horse, gentle it and sell it. Other times you’d both go and hunt down a bounty, but for the most part your work was honest.

You didn’t really notice it, but over the past few months, Arthur started to gain weight. A result of no longer needing to be so physical and having the guarantee of steady meals. Especially after you bought a few cook books and started to learn how to cook. He wasn’t the only one to gain weight, though perhaps you were a little less noticeable.

Now things have changed. He’s so distant and it seems like he just really isn’t interested in you. Last night, things had reached their peak. You’d been making love to him, but he acted like it was more of an obligation, a chore. Not only that, he refused to look at you while he’d been burying himself between your legs. You just wanted to show him how much you loved him, so you’d grabbed his chin and made him look at you.

“Let me see your beautiful eyes, Arthur,” you panted.

His eyebrows crinkled together and his rhythm faltered. You tried not to notice and attempted to get things back rolling, but after a few minutes, he let out his breath and pulled out.

“I can’t do this,” he said. Then he slid on his pants and walked out the door. He didn’t come back in for the rest of the night.

His behavior crushed you. Never before had he done that, quit in the middle of the act. You felt so ugly and undesirable when he’d left. After that, you pulled your blanket around yourself and sobbed, not caring that you were completely undressed under it. Arthur didn’t find you attractive anymore, it was obvious.

Arthur must have slept in the barn or something, you figure. At least that’s what you tell yourself. It’s better than thinking that maybe he ran to Valentine and got himself a woman of the night to finish things with. Of course, you couldn’t help but think that he did, and it broke your heart.

You can’t say you really blame Arthur for any of this. After all, it was you who pulled him out from the gang, the only family he’d known. He hadn’t wanted to leave, you’d known that, but it was his anger at Dutch that finally convinced him to. You can’t help but wonder if he’d be better off without you, or if maybe you should have left on your own. He’d be happy because of it, surely. Maybe he could have returned to Mary. There’s no doubt in your mind he wouldn’t do to her what he’d done to you last night.

You sniff, trying not to let it get the better of you. You’ve been debating on whether or not to tell him to go and find his own way out there like he clearly wants to. You’ll stay behind here, take care of things and try to carry on. Maybe you’ll get a dog to replace his companionship, but as far as love goes, you’ll never find another mate.

The door swings open, making you jump. Quickly you dry your eyes, not wanting Arthur to see your pain. It’s only a matter of time before his anger comes out, after all, and you don’t want to be the reason behind it.

“Darlin’,” he says so softly you don’t hear him. You’re too busy trying not to break down. He sighs and walks up behind you, trying to muster up the courage to face you. There’s a lot of things he’s regretted in his life, but what he’d done to you last night was unforgivable. After he’d pulled on his pants and left the room, he’d gone to the window of your bedroom and saw you wrapped up in the blanket, your head over your forehead as tears poured down your face.

Figures you wouldn’t want to talk to him, he thinks. He was always ugly and vile, but now he’s gained all this weight. You must regret choosing to stay with him. Now he’s gotten you tied down to this poor excuse of a home when you used to be so wild and free. How could you not hate him?

“Sweetheart, I-” he starts.

“It’s okay, Arthur,” you say, sniffing hard and not looking at him. “You can just go, I understand. I just want you happy.”

This stops him cold. That wasn’t what he was expecting. You care about his happiness? That’s all he wants for you. You deserve someone who will protect you and care for you in the way he only wishes he could.

“Darlin’, I… I don’t wanna leave. Why you sayin’ I should?”

You sniff again and Arthur realizes you’re crying. It breaks his heart again, especially when the image of you last night flashes through his mind.

“Because,” you finally say, “I know you’ll be happier, Arthur. You never were one who wanted to put down permanent roots and it’s been cruel of me to make you do so. You belong out there in that wide open country you love. You can be where you want, meet more interesting people. Find someone you love proper.”

“Honey,” he says softly. He can’t help but slide his hand up your back and to his shoulder. “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about but… you’re the only girl I could ever love. I’m sorry about last night. I just… I didn’t wanna burden ya anymore.”

“Burden me?” you finally turn your face to his, tears marking your cheeks. “How could you burden me, Arthur?”

He sighs, wishing he could just pull you into his arms. But he won’t, surely you’d be angry. He hates seeing you cry though, especially when he’s the reason why. You have the brightest smile, in his mind, and when you cry, he feels like his entire world rains.

“Well,” he grunts a little, “how could I not? I mean, look at me. I always been a mean, miserable, ugly bastard. Now I gettin’ all this weight to go with it. Don’t tell me you like all this.” He gestures to himself.

You look down at him and then back up to his face. “Arthur, do… do you think I couldn’t love you because you’ve put on some weight? I’ve done the same thing.”

“Not really, darlin’. But… when we was with the gang, I may have been ugly but at least I was strong and burly.”

You can’t help but chuckle a little, but then you do something that makes his heart ache with warmth. You put your hand on his cheek and your watery eyes glue to his. “Arthur, a year ago when you were ‘strong and burly’, I didn’t think I could love you anymore. But now… my love for you then pales, laughably so even.”

Arthur puts his hand over yours and squeezes. “So you don’t really want me to leave, do ya? Because the truth is, I like it here. Maybe a little too much.”

You smile again and take a step closer to him. “No, Arthur. I never want you to leave, not ever. When we bought this place, I was hoping more than anything we could build a long life together, maybe even start a family.”

His eyes crinkle in the corners the way they do when he’s real happy. “Darlin’, nothin’ would make me happier than to do that. If… If I ain’t too fat for you. I’ll try and lose the weight.”

“Arthur, you don’t have to do that. To be honest, I kind of like it. You have a little give now when we’re being intimate. It’s nice.”

He bends down and kisses you, his arms wrapping around you. You press your body hard against him, wanting him to know how much you love him, body and all. After a few moments, he pulls away but whispers in your ear.

“How about you and I go in that bedroom, do what we tried last night proper? Maybe we can try startin’ that family you want.”

#arthur morgan #arthur morgan x female reader #red dead fanfic #rdr2 fanfic #awkward asks

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verobatto · 3 years

Text

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XCVI

It was a love story from the very beginning.

The Destiel Reunion and the Cowboys Date

(13x06)

Hello my dears! We are finally here, in TOMBSTONE fanfiction 🤣

And of course, a whole unique volume for this delicious episode.

Dean is happy now

The reunion between Cas and Dean was really very beautiful. First of all we have Dean incredulous face, he can't believe what his eyes are seeing, he can't believe Cas is alive and in front of him.

DEAN: Cas, is that really you?

SAM: No. You're – you're dead.

CASTIEL: Yeah, I was. But then I… annoyed an ancient cosmic being so much that he sent me back.

Dean is hopes, Sam reality in this dialogue. Every inch of Dean wished Cas to come back. Now that he has him there, his eyes can't believe, but he really wants. And Sam brings back the fact that Cas was definitely dead.

SAM: I don't even know what to say.

DEAN: I do. Welcome home, pal.

(Gif set credit @gabrielokun )

This hug is beautiful, Sam is still surprised, but Dean react with a hug, he missed his angel so much, he is the one "running towards him" at first. The emotion in his eyes, and the relieved and happiness to have him back. The love of his life is back, after so much suffering.

CASTIEL: How long was I gone?

DEAN: Too damn long.

(Gif set credit @shirtlesssammy )

And here we have the difference between Family Love and Romantic Love:

When Mary Winchester comes back in 12x01, she makes the same question Castiel did. But Dean's answer is different. He can calculate the exacting days and years his mother had been dead. But with Cas is different, Cas represents the love of his life, his hopes, he was suicidale after he was gone, so... That time Cas wasn't there with him, it felt like eternal. That's why he didn't calculated, Because it was TOO DAMN LONG.

And he says it with the painful remembrance in his eyes, red because he wasn't sleeping well, and because he maybe had crying so many times.

After this angsty scene, we have a huge change in Dean. He is happy now, so happy, that he can't hide it. He is shinning again. Smiling. Hopeful. And in addition, he has a cowboy adventure, even when the data they have from Dodge City isn't that clear, he drags the whole team to it.

And just like in season 5, he rewrites TFW now 2.0, describing each member enthusiastically.

DEAN: Yeah, but we should probably check it out.

CASTIEL: Wait. Really?

DEAN: Yeah, we've done more on less. Besides Dodge City's kind of, uh, kind of awesome. All right, well… two salty hunters, one half-angel kid, and a dude who just came back from the dead. Again. Team Free Will 2.0. Here we go.

Before continuing with this happy Dean, let's check a mystery, that had been solved in season 15. Why Jack had power on the Empty or how is that Cas woke up. Of course it was Jack's power over the Empty, because he will be new god, but also, it was the Profound Bond, the deep love these men feels for each other the path Jack used to find Castiel. Is so freaking romantic I just can't...

Okay, coming back now with happy Dean...

And how Sam was trying to make him confess... Something else. Noticing the change in his brother, knowing what was the cause of it, it was so blatant, that the smart little brother confirms here Dean's true feelings for the angel...

SAM: Still can't believe you brought your own hat.

DEAN: Well, I can't believe you didn't.

SAM: You're in a good mood, huh?

DEAN: Yeah. And?

Sam was waiting some time alone to ask this to him. Imagine you saw your brother in so bad shape a day ago, suicidal, not having faith or hopes in life... An now, he's happy, shining. Smiling. Laughing. What could happen? Of course, CAS is back... But is Dean ready to confess what he feels for him to his brother? Or even, to recognize his own feelings for the angel?

(Gif set credit @deansplushy )

Dean recognize Castiel is not just the win he needed, but the BIG WIN he wanted in his heart. And he stops there. He can't say more, but is not necessary to say it. Sam is an insightful person, and he gets it. He understands and confirms Dean loves Castiel in that special way. But he is not ready to "come out from the closet" . And the scene that comes after this one, is Sammy, smiling crookedly and tilting his head, Because he knows the message behind those words. He turns back and closes a closet. Pure Symbolism.

Cowboys Adventures

Let's jump now to the "angry bear" scene.

What it means? Simply and perfectly, that scene means CASTIEL WATCHING DEAN SLEEPING OR EVEN TRYING TO WAKE HIM UP. Both of it reveals CASTIEL IN DEAN'S ROOM. INTIMACY. First hint of scene we've never seen. But indirectly pointing at a canon fact. And we love it.

Also, bossy, grumpy Dean that needs his coffee to function. And Castiel just submissively obeying his angry bear and sitting back in the coach... Damm these two... Their dynamic had always been like that, but we didn't have enough of it. We didn't have enough of domestic destiel.

Then, once in the car, Castiel is wearing a cowboy hat. So, it means they had to go to buy it somewhere. Just Imagine Dean looking for a cowboy hat to fit in Cas' head.

He fixes his boyfriend, because he wants him to look even more good.

DEAN: All right, listen, these Dodge City cops aren't likely to trust big city folks, so we're gonna have to blend.

CASTIEL: Which is why you're making me wear this absurd hat.

DEAN: It's not that bad. Well, actually, yeah, it kind of is. Hang on. [Dean reaches over and removes the hat band and tosses it in the back seat] All right. That's better.

CASTIEL: Is it?

(Gif credit @grumpycas )

This scene shows us again their intimacy and how Castiel just accepts to be part of his fantasies. He is willing to play Dean's cowboys game. Because he loves him. And this means to share a good time with him. But, CAS worries about how he looks. And he peeks into the rear viewer mirror, and if you look at Dean's facial expressions, I think he's having a heart attack for Cas' proximity. Hahahahss. Oh, Dean you're so in love in this date.

DEAN: [sighs] Yeah. Look, just act like you're from Tombstone, okay?

CASTIEL: The city?

DEAN: The movie. With Kurt Russell? I made you watch it.

CASTIEL: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The one with the guns and tuberculosis. [in a deep cowboy voice] "I'm your Huckleberry."

DEAN: Yeah, exactly. Well, it's good to have you back, Cas. All right, follow my lead. We'll fit right in.

Gif credit @agusvedder

Okay i really think here is when Dean had a heart attack, an stroke and a bonner, at the same time, I will elaborate hahahaha

Another hint of their INTIMACY, is the fact that they watch movies together! Not just that, but Dean made CAS watch Tombstone, and who know how many other movies! (More domestic Destiel)

And then... Cas goes for it, because he knows how Dean loves cowboys, and because he is a sexy, hot, angel that knows how to seduce him, not just with eye fucking... But... Using the link over Dean.

And it works... Because the hunter closes his eyes, swallows and tries not to faint right there of arousal. And then, shamelessly, he just says IT'S GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK, CAS.

And then, is so funny to watch Cas trying to follow Dean's lead. Oh gosh... Hilarious. Rom com.

Symbolism of the rest of the episode

Dean's bisexuality

Dave and Athena were a representation of Dean's bisexuality, just as in the Rocky's bar in 14x10.

In this episode we have Toxic!Dean mirrored by the monster, Dave and Innocent/Healing!Dean mirrored by Athena.

The dynamics between them was similar to te dynamics in the Rocky's bar, in which Dean's toxicity and AU!Michael, the monster, tried to keep Dean locked inside his emotional toxic prison.

DAVE: Athena, don't you think we have a good thing here? Why do you wanna go mess it up?

ATHENA: Whatever. I have to work.

Athena wanted to improve his life, to go to school and move to a bigger city. To be better. She had dreams. Innocent, is the best part of Dean.

Another important fact is Dave wearing another's man face, a very known bandit, adding to one of the topics of this season: masks, fake identity, as a foreshadow of Dean's possession.

So Dave is Toxic!Dean, his own monsters, trying to keep him in the darkness.

The visual narrative adds to this symbolism the red ascot I'm both characters, Dave and Athena, to point out again at Dean.

Jack and Dean

We will have Jack killing an innocent man because he couldn't control his powers. As a foreshadow of when he will kill Mary not controlling his powers again.

Jack carries with a green backpack, green is Dean's color, and the backpacks means guilts.

Here is when Jack starts feeling guilt for killing a man. TFW will connect with him trying to explain that's part of the job.

All the dead people and killing the monster

When Dave comes back with Athena, she discovers he is a monster, and rejects him. Because he killed someone. This is very symbolic because in Dean's head, he sees himself as a monster, a murderer, and he hates that part of him.

So, at the end of the episode, Dean says alone, helps the sheriff, the righteous man, saves him and saves the girl, his innocence, killing the monster, his toxicity.

This episode showed us the future inner battle Dean will have to win. And it will be successful.

To Conclude:

This was a very Destiel episode, they showed us hints of how intimate Dean and CAS are with each other. And how much Dean is in love with CAS.

The happiness after Castiel's returning alive, gives Sam almost a confirmation of Dean's true feeling for Castiel, assuming he is not ready yet to get out from the closet.

There was a foreshadow of AUMichael possessing Dean, and the inner battle of 14x10.

Dave and Athena represented Dean's bisexuality and part of his personality. Keeping in mind Athena is the greek goddess of wisdom, war strategy, is the good part of Dean and innocence.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from this season here you have the links:

Vol. XCIII, XCIV, XCV.

Buenos Aires January 17 2021 02:31 PM

#destiel #destiel chronicles #destiel meta #Supernatural meta #season 13 meta #13x06 meta #tfw 2.0 #dean winchester #castiel #jack kline #sam winchester #cowboys #tombstone #domestic destiel

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simplyshelbs16xoxo · 3 years

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‘This Love Came Back to Me’ Chapter 2: This is London

Ao3 | Buy Me a Coffee?

Being in London again, amongst the bustling streets and busy lives, had Molly in a state of wistfulness. She had been homesick since the day she left and her stomach knotted with deep-seated guilt and regret. It mystified her how this city seemed to scream his name. When she thought of London, she didn’t think of the usual things—the Thames, Buckingham Palace, Trafalger Square, or even Big Ben with its comforting chimes—but she always thought of Sherlock Holmes. He was forever connected to this place much more intimately than anything or anyone else she could think of. And connected to him was the sense of home. She had felt her heart leap in joy when she stepped off the plane.

And now, looking up at the street sign, Molly let out a shaky breath. She had once promised herself she would never grace this very pavement if she ever lost him. And yet she found herself on Baker Street once more. In her hands were the results of their findings, and she sincerely hoped he would be cordial with her, though she knew she didn’t deserve such a kindness. 221B stared down at her as if daring her to cross the threshold, to recall her memories here, to once again face the man who lived in it, and at one time with her.

Molly took each step with trepidation. She wished to not upset him any further, but it couldn’t be helped. Never did she think her actions would have hurt him, for she hadn’t thought he truly felt for her what she felt for him. Her presence was difficult for him and Molly hadn’t a clue how to steer clear. Being put on a case together had made matters complicated. One deep breath and she knocked lightly against the worn wood. She made out a couple of voices including his own. He must have been with a client. Turning on her foot to leave, the door was yanked open, causing her to turn back towards it, towards him.

“Oh,” he frowned, disappointment clear on his face. “It’s just you.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat. His callousness tore at her rapidly beating heart. “I brought some of the results for you to look over. You’ll find that there is a particular feature of interest that may turn out to be a lead.”

Sherlock studied her with curious eyes that narrowed when he met hers. He removed the report from her hands and looked it over. “Very good, then. It looks like Mike is no longer in need of your services.”

Molly opened her mouth to protest, stepping forward to follow him inside, but he had quite firmly slammed the door in her face before she could utter a syllable.

When Sherlock turned his back to the slamming door, he was met with Mary Watson’s chiding expression, an eyebrow raised high. “Was it really necessary to do that?”

“She’s the one who decided to leave,” he replied like a five year old.

“Yes, well, that may be true, Sherlock, but I thought you wanted an explanation from her, hmm?” Mary crossed her arms, tapping her foot with impatience. “I don’t agree with how she handled things, but I hardly think it necessary to act like children.” She briefly recalled hearing about their argument in the morgue the day before.

“I’ll stop when she does.” Sherlock was in no mood. He hadn’t seen her in years until yesterday. Molly Hooper broke his heart, betrayed his trust. He told her he loved her, and she ran away. “I once thought she loved me—but, I see now that I was wrong.”

“She did love you, Sherlock,” Mary argued.

“Could’ve fooled me,” he huffed. It wasn’t as if she had said the words back.

“I think you and Molly can work things out—you’re both stubborn, and that causes a lot of damage with situations like yours. One of you needs to be the bigger person,” Mary advised. “I know you’re hurting, but this week could change things. Try to make the best of it.”

Sherlock sighed. “I won’t make any promises, but I’ll try.”

It was official: Molly Hooper hated herself for what she did to Sherlock. If she could, she knew she would go back when things were okay and do things right. Instead of listening to her doubts and allowing herself to be persuaded into leaving, Molly would have said the words back. She would have told him what she had feared. They would have talked through it and they would still be together now. She was sure of it. He could no longer stand the sight of her. The man who held high disregard of emotions—and for good reason—gave her his heart, and she ruined him.

The next five days in London would be torture, but she had it coming to her. This was the universe biting her back in the arse for what she had done. Molly, upon returning to her hotel room, decided to take a soak in a bubble bath to calm her nerves. Hair up in a messy bun, she sank down into the warm sudsy water, leaning her head back with her eyes closed, unable to keep herself from remembering how it used to be.

“I don’t want to lose you,” she whispered in his ear. Sherlock had drifted off, but he still held her tightly in his arms. It was as if he was afraid to let go. Molly could still feel the ghost of his love all over her body, through her, inside her. In truth, she had never been so happy. But then, why did she feel so scared?

If he were to ever wake up one day and realise this wasn’t what he wanted, Molly promised herself she’d never walk Baker Street again. Hell, she probably wouldn’t be able to stomach staying in London if he ever walked away. Or if, God forbid, she ever did. She couldn’t keep her eyes off him, his expression one of complete serenity. It made him look ten years younger. Molly pressed her lips to his neck, leaving a trail of soft, warm kisses for him. She heard him moan quietly in his sleep, and it made her smile. God, she loved him so much, her heart ached. What was it about those eight letters that were so overwhelming, so daunting? Maybe one day she’d be brave enough to say them.

The visions in her head never stopped. There wasn’t a day that went by that she didn’t think about him, about their love, magical as it was. For the first time since she arrived back in London, Molly allowed herself to cry; to grieve for them, for the man she had hurt. All she wanted to do was take away his pain, but he’d never allow her close enough to do that. Never again.

After a brief conversation with Mike the next day outside the morgue, Sherlock, she noticed, was fast approaching her. Molly braced herself for his scathing remarks, her whole body tensing up as if his words caused her physical pain. Instead, he shoved the manila envelope toward her, insisting she take them back. “Were my findings not to your liking then?” she asked, somewhat feeling put-out.

“On the contrary, Doctor Hooper,” he replied, taking a moment to swallow his pride, “what you discovered is most fascinating.”

Taken aback at the change of attitude, Molly questioned him with her eyes, her mouth slightly agape. “Yes, well, it seemed odd that our murderer went through all of the trouble of making a bloody mess of his victims when his real M.O. was a nearly undetectable poisoning.”

Sherlock nodded. “He’s trying to keep us from profiling him correctly. He’s clever, but not as clever as you.” He felt his face flush, mentally cursing his traitorous body.

Her eyes met his in a brief remembrance of the love they once shared. My clever Molly, he had taken to saying whenever her intellect shone through like a bright star. The man who had once admired her was still there somewhere deep down. She hoped so, anyways. As soon as the spark was there, it was gone, the air somehow colder than it had been. “If that’s all you came here for…I believe you have a murderer to catch.”

“Wait,” he began, taking a small step forward. “It has come to my attention that I’ve been, for lack of a better word, an arse. We should be able to at least be cordial whilst working this case together.” Sherlock had a hard time meeting her eyes. “I’m…I apologise. You really are the best for the job.”

Never had Molly felt more uncomfortable and undeserving of an apology. She gazed at him with soft, sorrowful eyes. “Thank you,” she uttered in a small voice. If he hadn’t looked so uncomfortable, himself, she wasn’t sure if she could’ve found the strength to reply. She wanted to apologise for leaving him, beg him for his forgiveness, but fear—a different kind; one of rejection—stopped her. The awkward silence was deafening and she was thankful when Greg interrupted them.

“There’s been another body, Sherlock. Here’s your chance to go to the scene and—Molly? That you?” Greg grinned happily, going in for a hug.

“It’s been an age,” Molly told him, her guilt eating her up inside. At least he didn’t appear to be angry with her.

Sherlock stood by with his hands behind his back, jealousy rearing its ugly head, his stomach knotting tightly. He watched as Greg gave her a quick peck on the cheek and it took all his strength not to lash out. There was no way he could deny his feelings any longer—he still cared for Molly, still loved her despite everything, but it was clear she had moved on. He had been so lost in his thoughts that he only caught the tail end of Lestrade’s question.

“—with us?”

“Oh, I—well, I don’t think I should,” Molly answered, glancing at Sherlock. “It’s probably best I stay behind.”

Greg knew things were strained between them—he had even been on the receiving end of her lack of communication. He nodded in understanding, not wanting to push her into it. “Suit yourself. How long are you here for?”

“Just until the end of the week, then back to Galway,” she informed him. The words tasted bitter on her tongue.

Galway, Sherlock thought. So that’s where she ran off to. It was where her grandmother was from—her father’s mother. It should have been blaringly obvious, but he had kept himself from thinking too much about it.

“Well, do us all a favor, and phone us once in a while…yeah?” He clapped Sherlock on his back, including him in that statement.

She nodded. “Of course.” Her eyes met Sherlock’s briefly. Never did she want to let him down again. “You have my word.”

#sherlolly #this love came back to me #my fanfiction

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dreamingofscully · 4 years

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6x18. “Milagro” - X-Files Rewatch

Lots of analysis below. So much to unpack with this episode. An EXTREMELY significant episode for Scully related to her feelings about and relationship with Mulder. This analysis goes into more depth in general, rather than a stream-of-consciousness observational post like my others tend to be.

Also, fanfic! I have a post-ep that I’d love y’all to check out that I wrote a while back in attempt to explain what happened with Scully in-between Milagro and The Unnatural.

Bated Breath (AO3), rated G, 2198 words M/S UST, Post-episode (Milagro) Mulder drives Scully home from the hospital.

Onwards for analysis and speculation.

The soundtrack for this episode is amazing. Love the beating heart that Mark Snow incorporated.

At the beginning, the symbolism of Padgett removing his own heart. It reflects the emptiness of his heart, his incapability of having love, but the burning passion he believes he is capable of, with which he pursues Scully.

At Padgett’s stare, Scully is creeped out, but she is also curious. That someone would look at her so boldly and with such obvious lust, when she’s tried to think of herself as separate from such things for so long.

Padgett wills things to happen, using his writing as a tool, a FOCUS, to channel his powers. He manifests things - the psychic surgeon (representing Padgett’s dark side), the lightbulbs not working, etcetera. He uses his creepy stalker insight to profile how people will act, then writes about it, but he can’t alter emotions, only manifest what is already there. (If he could make people think and do whatever he wanted, he wouldn’t have given up so easily when he recognized Scully’s love for Mulder.)

Mulder and Scully sitting close on his couch.

Padgett suggests that Scully sticks to science and facts because otherwise she’d be viewed as weak and soft. Perhaps this is partly true for other people, but NOT for Mulder. Padgett doesn’t know her history, what she’s afraid of, the real reason she’s kept herself from believing for so long. However, Scully IS influenced by Padgett here - she stands up for herself (makes herself tough instead of soft) when Mulder makes her schedule for her and goes off to do her own investigation.

The burning heart tale that Padgett tells Scully: “Christ came to Margaret Mary his heart so inflamed with love that it was no longer able to contain its burning flames of charity. Margaret Mary... so filled with divine love herself, asked the Lord to take her heart... and so he did placing it alongside his until it burned with the flames of his passion. Then he restored it to Margaret Mary sealing her wound with the touch of his blessed hand.”

He wants to reenact this story with her, not realizing that her heart already belongs to another.

As Padgett tells Scully intimate details of her life it makes her incredibly uncomfortable. She’s an intensely private person, only lets in a few people. But here is some stranger who seems to KNOW her. How did she not know she was being watched? What other things does he know? It would bother her from a professional point of view as well as a personal one.

That someone thinks of her this way - a purely physical attraction rather than something cerebral and mutually respectful like she has with Mulder - it unsettles her. But his influence makes her more aware of her desires, the feelings she’s walled away for so long and hasn’t let herself acknowledge.

The conversation between Mulder and Scully in the autopsy bay is very interesting. Scully is VERY OPEN about what just happened between her and Padgett, something that is pretty unusual for her. She admits to being frightened, she tells him that this creepy guy knows “too much information and intimate detail”, and then openly challenges Mulder to do something about it. Scully KNOWS what Mulder will do.

Mulder’s uncomfortable almost-smile when she tells him. How fucking real is that. I don’t know about you guys but I find myself smiling at the most inappropriate circumstances, so this hits home for me. (Thank you DD.)

Mulder and Padgett try to intimidate each other in the elevator. Don’t fucking mess with Scully! Mulder’s brooding walk down the hallway. 🔥 🔥 🔥

The love scene. Padgett writes what he wants to be true. He can influence the thoughts of others but cannot control them like Modell - only an encouragement in a particular direction, a manifestation of emotions already present. Scully’s disgust and fear is tempered by her curiosity of the strange and mysterious neighbour, which is why she ends up at his apartment. Padgett misinterprets her intellectual interest as romantic in nature.

“Loneliness is a choice.”

The implication: she can choose, at any time, to NOT be lonely. That she knows she’s lonely. What’s holding her back? This season was SHIT for Mulder and Scully’s relationship, but an undercurrent for her throughout the years she’s been his partner - fear. She’s scared to take that last step, to have him know all of her. For fear of death, of losing him. Being alone is safe.

Padgett talking to her like she’s an object, something to serve his writing rather than someone with a CHOICE. Another thing that reveals the emptiness of his heart.

The fantasy that Padgett has about Scully is meant to happen after she enters his apartment. The mugs in the fantasy are the same ones they drink coffee from, and in the fantasy they are still steaming hot. The lamp doesn’t light because it is off in the dream (another example of his ability to affect the physical but not the emotional).

I love the symbolism of Scully looking out the window in Padgett’s bedroom. She’d see something similar out of Mulder’s apartment, just slightly different. But enough to make a difference. She feels desire, she has love in her heart, but only for Mulder. Padgett can never be a replacement, no matter how many words he writes.

Padgett believes they are headed to the bed, to the love scene he described in his writing. I don’t think it would happen even if Mulder hadn’t interrupted them. Regardless, Mulder is a wild card - he didn’t account for him to burst through the door, didn’t write about him, so Mulder can act independently, outside of the story.

Mulder’s jealousy at seeing Scully there with Padgett. He’s tense, tearing through his pages, heedless of the destruction he’s causing, handles Padgett roughly. Mulder manifests his frustration as aggression, and this time it’s extremely personal. From now on the interactions that Mulder has with Padgett are filled with tension. You can see that Mulder just wants to fucking MESS with this guy. Part jealousy, part protectiveness.

Padgett’s assertion that the characters choose the writers. Does he believe that Scully chose him? That the psychic surgeon isn’t merely a manifestation of the evil and emptiness in his own heart?

In the jail cell, Mulder moves forward to intimidate Padgett but Scully’s touch instantly pulls him back. This is Padgett’s first glimpse at the connection between Scully and Mulder. Up until now he’s only been observing Scully by herself, and listening to them talk in Mulder’s apartment. Now, though, he realizes in their FIRST INTERACTION in front of him, that she is in love with him. All the things that he’s seen regarding Scully’s interest in him have been misinterpretations.

Mulder confronts Scully in the hallway about her part in the book. Just a note that Padgett watches their interaction here as well, confirming his initial thoughts about Scully’s love for Mulder. I think he’d also realize Mulder loves her back, but in Padgett’s mind, who wouldn’t?

“You know you're in here, don't you?” - Mulder “I read a chapter. What does he say?” - Scully “Well, let's just say it ends with you doing the naked pretzel with "the stranger" on a bed in an unfurnished fourth floor apartment. (pause) I'm assuming that's a priori, too?” - Mulder “I think you know me better than that, Mulder.” - Scully

Mulder’s look while biting his bottom lip. Scully’s licking her lips here, too. Hnnng. 🔥 🔥 🔥

After realizing Scully can’t love him, Padgett writes this: “Grief squeezed at her eggshell heart like it might break into a thousand pieces its contents running like broken promises into the hollow places his love used to fill.”

A parallel to how Padgett is feeling himself. Or “thinks” its how he should feel, if he had a heart.

Mulder and Scully standing close at the graveyard. Scully touches his back when getting him to back off from the suspect.

Their argument - taking opposite sides.

Scully is compelled to feel less negative about Padgett, and doesn’t feel he is capable of murder, he’s just strange and mysterious. Also, she wants to believe that it’s just an innocent attraction. (Please PLEASE let someone normal be attracted to her for once!)

AGENT SCULLY IS ALREADY IN LOVE. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Padgett is looking DIRECTLY at Mulder when he says this. Afterwards, Mulder takes a quick look at Scully, who has a very vulnerable expression on her face and does NOT look at him.

Padgett’s statement makes Scully’s feelings REAL - they are something that EXISTS in the world. She can no longer deny it, push it away. Also, the fact that Mulder is RIGHT THERE, that he KNOWS, too.

Things can’t go back to normal, especially after the ending of the episode. I don’t think Scully wants them to. I think she chooses not to be lonely.

Padgett starts writing and talking to Naciamento/his dark self. His subconscious knows what story needs to be told. He needs to steal Scully’s heart to place it next to his, to have her in death if he can’t have her in life. This is the ending that only makes sense for this story - he wrote it to have her fall in love with him, for them to be together, but now it’s impossible.

Padgett’s comment that Scully has been “trying to get his attention”. Through her interest in Padgett? This is possibly a misinterpretation, but it also might be something she’d do, though subconsciously. In my headcanon, Scully’s been trying to get Mulder’s attention for fucking YEARS, so perhaps he is correct. She wants Mulder to see her as someone with needs and desires, not just his partner.

They sit closely on Mulder’s couch for the surveillance.

The difference between Scully on Padgett’s bed, and Scully on Mulder’s couch (bed). At Padgett’s, she’s sitting up straight, very uncomfortable, like she could leap up and aim her gun at his head if he tried anything strange. At Mulder’s side, she falls asleep because she’s so trusting and comfortable with him.

Padgett wants to prove he can love, so he uses whatever power he possesses to sacrifice himself and heal Scully. From the burning heart story: “he restored it to Margaret Mary sealing her wound with the touch of his blessed hand.”

Destroying the book and thus destroying his dark self isn’t enough. Scully is already hurt, bleeding everywhere. He also needs to heal Scully, and does this through his sacrifice. This is the reason I believe that Padgett’s powers come through himself, he doesn’t really need his typewriter or even a physical copy of his stories to manifest them, he just uses them as a crutch. Perhaps it was how he developed his powers - his insight into human nature through his writing.

When Mulder hears the gunshots, he rushes back to Scully. It’s interesting to think that Mulder nearly cost Scully her life. Her bullets may not have killed Naciamento, but they summoned Mulder, enabling Padgett to burn the book, sacrifice himself and thus save Scully. In essence, she saved herself despite Mulder’s innocent interference.

“A chance to give what he could not receive.”

Instead of killing her, Padgett decides to give her the gift of life and love. He knows she loves another, that her heart is full of love unlike his own empty heart.

Scully’s breakdown.

She was about to die. It was the closest she’s come and in the most horrifying manner. Death is her greatest fear.

Being faced with something obviously supernatural (shooting Naciamento to no effect, being wounded then miraculously healed) would also make her confused and vulnerable - not being able to explain what happened and put it in a box.

The emotions she’s been trying desperately to repress have been brought to the surface this entire episode.

More speculation/final thoughts:

This season has dealt with Scully’s fears quite a bit, but mostly with her inability to accept paranormal/unexplainable phenomena. She also holds another fear - death. And it’s consequence? She’s afraid to let people in, let them close. After her remission, she tried to take the chance - to let Mulder closer, to give her heart to Emily. When she’s burned by taking these chances, she buries her feelings again. She’s too scared to take another chance, and the tension between them lately has not been conducive to any sort of positive change in their relationship. The emotions brought to the surface in this episode come bursting forth at the end. Scully doesn’t try to hide them. She lets Mulder see her whole heart, her whole self - fears and all.

Through sharing her entire self with him, Scully’s changed. She can’t go back to pretending and hiding. Her fear about dying, about getting too close, doesn’t matter. I think that Scully’s lightness in the preceding episode (“The Unnatural”) shows how far she’s come.

She reveals her vulnerabilities to Mulder, her softness; his embrace of her as she lets her walls down is cathartic and freeing. Scully knows what she wants, and now her love is “out there”, a tangible thing that they are BOTH aware of. No more second-guessing, misinterpretations.

Later in season 7 (“all things”), when Scully has her breakthrough about her beliefs, she has a similar cathartic experience (her vision in the Buddhist temple). In this episode, her breakthrough is emotional and related to her feelings about Mulder instead of intellectual/spiritual and deeply personal.

I think this episode is where I diverge from much of the fandom in terms of its significance to the MSR and Scully. I don’t think they can go back from this (along with things that happen with Mulder in the next episode). I’ll talk about a few more things in my “The Unnatural” post. If you disagree, that’s fine, but… I just love the idea of them having more time together, and I like the way my theory works! <3

If you want to know more about what I think happened after this episode, I’d love it if you’d read my fic “Bated Breath”. I feel that it expresses my thoughts pretty well about what I thought Scully went through, and where Mulder was as well.

#xfiles #x-files #x-files rewatch #x files rewatch #msr #msrheadcanon #mulder and scully #fox mulder #dana scully #top 10 episodes #season 6 #MEGA ANALYSIS

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