#no way religion actually traumatized me that would be so weird lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

snellyfish · 3 years

Note

May I ask..... what is in your post game V3? I dunno how to ask this without sounding weird.

HM!!!!!!!!! GOOD QUESTION;;

I mostly only have braincells for Kiyo and Angie so not a lot of my thoughts are straying from that unfortunately LMAO, I was able to branch off a bit answering this though so thank you for indirectly helping me develop more!!

But I like to think it's the same scenario as the second game where it was all just a simulation. I know what I fantasize about is a VR AU and that "postgame" tends to refer to the survivors but literally none of my favorites survived so reality can be whatever I want: postgame Shinnaga is so canon it's unreal!! I'm sure there's probably a VR fic for them somewhere out there in the world, I wouldn't know because I suck at reading fhdjfk, but I would love to write my own someday HEH

-------------------------

They'd all wake up one by one as they die and end up all in the same facility where they're taken care of by the Danganronpa team, unable to leave until they’re well again due to the contracts they signed prior to playing-- Meaning Angie wakes up, Tenko wakes up a few hours later, Kiyo another few hours later, etc. Angie jumps back pretty quick from things so she'd be already VERY excited to see Kiyo* after watching the trial, mostly because Angie like immediately caught onto what his sister really was to him (HINT: CONTROLLING AND AWFUL) and yelling at her screen saying "GOD WILL SMITE YOU ALL FOR PICKING ON THE WEAK" at everyone just calling him some incestuous freak during the trial. Angie does have genuinely incredible intuition (thanks god!) so she looks past the fact he murdered her Scarily Fast. Everyone would definitely mistrust and hate Angie even more as she tries to preach to them afterwards about Kiyo and how they need to forgive him since he’s a victim and God (most important opinion) already forgave him, but no one ever listened to her anyway especially postgame so it’s all in vain 😔

*whom might take a bit to wake up and fully acclimate again because...idk this man was boiled alive that's kinda Fucked I think all the executed would take longer to wake up because they went through more lengthy + traumatic deaths I guess? This just means even more time for Angie to sit on her thoughts about what happened to her+Kiyo yuh yuh

Everyone becomes a mix of their pregame selves and the identities they were given, they'd end up being mediocre/average (sometimes bad) at what their handpicked talent was but a lot of them still keep up doing it until they DO become good again. A very small amount of them try to replicate their killing game outfits and kinda live off the high of being what they once were and accomplished in their fake memories, like Miu and Himiko. (this also makes me think about Irumeno a bit more 👀) Pretty much every single one of them in pregame saw themselves as nothing, being disposable enough to be in a killing game (even if it turns out to be virtual), so the new identities would overpower the mix for the most part since they’re the more intensified and dramaticized personality--IF THAT MAKES ANY SENSE LOL.

--Angie absolutely never stopped her art and has a less intense view on Religion, since garnering more experiences in life she’s just be less intense in general I'd think; more open with her emotions in that she'd actually cry, but still very manic and bubbly and optimistic nonetheless. After getting help (mostly from Kiyo who deals with the same thing), Angie is able to differentiate her thoughts and desires from “God”’s thoughts and desires, YEA she still has a funky little friend in her head. She's not AS pushy especially not with her equally traumatized fellow killing game participants but she still absolutely gets her moments of intensity and assertiveness now and then if she thinks something God is telling her is absolute truth and for the betterment of everyone: she is still Angie afterall, truly believing everyone would be much happier with her God in their lives but having enough self-restraint to know everyone will just push her away further if she tries to help them in that regard. She has her moments of desperation but most everyone’s too far gone from her already.

--Korekiyo is such a complicated one--I do like to think of pregame Kiyo as transfem/nonbinary and that would partially stick into his postgame identity in some way...killing game Kiyo was Just A Dude but after becoming the mix of the two identities he'd be VERY confused, especially with the influence of his (simulated) sister's influence. (genderfluid time? :)) He'd have varying degrees of when his...sister...alter...thing...comes out, or is present in his head in any regard, she'd be gone or slowly disappearing from his mind for months at a time and he'd initially be extremely unstable about it because he feels extremely isolated and lost when he can’t talk to her, but he's got Angie by his side so he becomes significantly less stressed about it over time, learning to cope with it. Eventually he finds himself no longer dependent on sister and...has to learn a SECOND time to not be unhealthily dependent; on Angie this time. (funky little idea I’ve been wanting to draw/write about sometime...hnnrngm) They’re both miracle workers when it comes to each other’s mental health it’s kinda insane. Of course, after realizing that Sister never really existed, he harbors near-immediate guilt for having murdered Angie and Tenko once he’s alone with his thoughts, not being puppeteered by sister, realizing everything he ever did he did for HER and realizing how fucked it all was pretty quickly--he does crave interacting with his victims in a positive and healing light but he’s sort of traumatized by it all to the point he is TERRIFIED when they’re around him at first.

--Tenko ends up EVEN MORE protective and grudgeful after she wakes up, trying to shield everyone and everything from most of the blackened, absolutely makes Kiyo manage to feel like even worse shit when he's got 1 extremely supportive and loving woman he killed and 1 extremely spiteful woman he killed who might legitimately murder him in return if he’s not careful. Tenko never makes amends with Angie and becomes close with Himiko (who's close with Gonta despite Tenko's wishes (she hates him for killing Miu, local woman)), managing to keep Himiko far far away from Angie, not only for "stealing" Himiko in the Student Council but also for the fact Angie's glued to Kiyo's side--making her the second least trustworthy person to Tenko..

--Himiko is very traumatized after the game due to surviving all the way til the end, likely making her (along with Shuichi+Maki) very disillusioned and lost--unable to decipher anything from fiction or reality--it takes a long time for Himiko to really “accept” anything; tried to cling to both Tenko and Angie but ends up just stuck on Tenko, mourning the loss of her friendship with Angie while doing so. Himiko would probably be shoved away from Gonta at first as well, but Tenko felt a lot more confident in Gonta so after a long while of her aggressively trying to teach him manners and keeping an emotional deathgrip on him whenever he wants to interact with Himiko, they’d end up close friends again. Still thinking about Irumeno-- Also with the whole ~~Survivor Delusions~~ thing, I think that helps play into Himiko’s attachment and insistence to keep up her old magician identity, because she has a very hard time trying to tell what’s real n fake ykno, and it takes her a while to realize she doesn’t have her talent anymore; absolutely ending in tearful breakdowns and unending determination to find herself again by forcibly trying to improve and push herself to her limits.

For the most part Kiyo and Angie are outcasted from everyone else, a lot of that being due to Tenko's preaching but...also everyone just doesn't understand what actually happened to Kiyo and they are all deathly worried about Angie, but not enough to get themselves involved; they're scared of Angie too, afterall, not as much as they're scared of Kiyo but ykno-- They think her naivety and determination to “fix him” is going to get her murdered again, every day they’re just counting down the minutes until it happens again. (spoiler alert: it doesn’t)

I could ABSOLUTELY go off more but I really have to end this at some point so fhdsjkfds--

TLDR;; Angie (and God alter) forgive Kiyo almost immediately. Sister alter likes to disappear sometimes making Kiyo sad and unfortunately dependent on Angie. Both Kiyo + Angie help each other heal and recover from their issues. Tenko hates both Kiyo + Angie with a passion and protectively forbids Himiko from seeing either of them. Himiko is close friends with Tenko and Gonta and Maybe More with Miu.

55 notes · View notes

scribblingrhapsodies · 3 years

Text

ANGIE YONAGA

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

Okay, so this is a megapost about why I absolutely love the potential and idea of Angie, but explain my creative differences with Kodaka, who absolutely butchered her. I feel like I should at least put something about how Angie needs to be a bit more appreciated in the DR community, as absolutely batshit crazy she is.

In this post, I’ll divide things into Good (Things I really like about angie in general), Ugly (things that are probably true about Angie, or things that would be changed if i were in charge-- these things are often misunderstood.), and BAD (things that i would remove about Angie all together cause there’s no circumstances that it would be okay, or even feasible someone would do stuff like that (even Angie))

More Under the cut!

THE GOOD

Her unhealthy piety to Atua

I’ll get the elephant in the room out of the way. I do like that she is overly obsessed with the Divine way rather than her own way, and can’t tell the divide between her own wants and her deity’s wants. It adds a potential for self discovery, and learning herself so that she can grow as a character, potentially.

Her overall craziness and how things are on her island

Some people find Angie a bit jarring about her character, but i find it pretty endearing, kind of like how people view Harley Quinn-- Different, but in Angie’s case its on a more benevolent level. I always liked how she has a different idea from the rest of the cast on how to do things, and she may have unorthodox methods, but she comes to the same conclusion as everyone else. She is always on the same page, but came to that end in a totally weird manner. Her island’s alleged ways and the lack of knowledge about things allow for a fantasy-like culture where blood sacrifices are made via truck every monday and wednesday, and there are plants that are hard to tell if they’re actually animals. This leads to a variety of Cultures-- but i’ll get to the barbaric portrayal in a sec

the way she thinks she’s cute.

She thinks she’s cute, probably because she was cute on her island’s standards, so she kept it up for the attention.

THE UGLY

How one-note Angie is

I will say that Angie’s “Atuaism” is very one-note in the game. Like, when I wrote as Angie, I delved into how lonely she felt, how her island functioned (if it did), and how she became so high and mighty in her own village. Did she rise to that point of power? Was she elected as the Oracle of the island against her will, and was brainwashed into being the cult leader? (Think Natural Harmonia from Pokemon Black and White.) We don’t really know, but the way I wrote angie is that it was a role forced upon her, and she was very lonely as no one was allowed to interact with “her purity”. That would some add some interesting twists to her character!

Blood Sacrifices and the Cult

She says that on her island, there are blood sacrifice rituals. However she did mention it was a “teensy bit” of blood. This could result as a harmless dose- no more than one would donate to the Blood Drive. Otherwise, how would she allow the people of her own island to live? Its a bit too chaotic to function if people gave large amounts of blood and died doing so.

Also, she does mention the fate of someone who eventually became a sacrifice. It could be inferred that she requested it-- but i personally think that since it is a cult mentality, her island took it upon themselves to act for her-- even if she doesn’t condone it, as form of an extremist group. Angie wasn’t in a place to actually punish them every time, so she would do the “7 generation curse” thing and unfortunately turn them loose. Angie was a figurehead, probably. That’s How I chose to see it, anyway, and I wish they werent so flaw-crazy with Angie.

Brainwashing in Ch.3 , pt 1

This one was more that she felt she couldn’t get everyone to cooperate. She knew her place, and began to brainwash everyone in the cast. She mentioned that she saw her religion as “you’ll come around eventually” kind of thing, and wouldn’t force it. The forced conversion here, was only because she knew everyone wasn’t on board. She probably would snap everyone out of it to live their lives as they want to if they were to get out because no one wanted to participate, through death or not. She also may have wanted to call Monokuma out on his bluff that he’d murder everyone if there was no murder. (as we know as the audience, would be a very short and unfulfilling show). She had everyone’s best interest in mind, not above hers tho, and did it in the most unorthodox way possible. I like that.

THE BAD

Non-Consensual sexuality

does this need to be said? there was no reason that had to be written. and for Angie to fall for someone who said “no”? That’s EXTREMELY shallow,even for angie. NEXT--

Brainwashing in Ch. 3, pt. 2

Now, how is hugging someone and preying on their weaknesses actual IMMEDIATE Brainwash? Like, I get it, preying on weaknesses can get someone on board... but when it comes to religion, people have a thing called a will. Gonta might join, because his will is weaker and he can be fooled, but Himiko? Kiibo? its not feasible. They know when somethings fishy and not easily fooled (yes, even Himiko). The only reason brainwashing was there because of plot progression. That’s it. if it weren’t for that, i’d ditch it. You can originally tell that Kodaka wanted Angie to be the murderer at some point, but still wanted her to be seen in a worse and worse light. Its terrible. I hate it.

The fact that Angie has no legacy

After Chapter 3-- there was hardly any feeling toward Angie being dead. Most people were traumatized by tenko, and they didn’t know that they sent her to her death. But news flash-- Angie died too. She was a person! Who died! Who tried getting everyone to a better place, and NO ONE recognizes that? all of the student council said “oh, she’s not invincible, guess i was wrong lol” and never mention Angie till the very very end, along with everyone else. I get that no one wanted to mourn for her, but it could at least have an impact greater than that, especially for her legit followers. However, Himiko’s relationship to Tenko afterward is honestly off-putting, because of how obsessive Tenko was, and Himiko said “no. never. leave me alone.”. for her to be like “TENKO I MISS U BB” is off putting, putting it lightly. I do ship those two, but only if kodaka didn’t put his grubby hands on the duo, including Angie.

Well, that was my rant, feel free to reblog if you want, I just love Angie and no one can convince me to stop goodnight :)

#angie yonaga #drv3 angie #drv3 #ndrv3 #New Danganronpa v3 #Killing Harmony #Kodaka #tw;; rape mention #tw;; blood mention #Angie Yonaga appreciation post!

7 notes · View notes

anarcho-smarmyism · 4 years

Text

Long post heads up

so im assuming this will be controversial but i’ve been thinking about this for a while, so please hear me out on this: pagans, even white American ones, literally are marginalized. now, i realize that by making this post i’m opening myself up to a lot of ridicule and accusations, so i ask that yall please do me the courtesy of actually considering what i have to say before you write this post off completely.

a few things to get out of the way first: to act like it’s equivalent to widespread racialized religious discrimination against well-known established religions such as Judaism or Islam is obviously wrong. to act like modern pagans aren’t mostly white and that our communities don’t have huge issues with racism is obviously wrong. i laugh at most posts criticizing pagans, because i genuinely think most of them are funny; it often comes across to me mostly as bemused roasting more than anything actually hateful. i feel like pagans often just need to learn to take a joke and take ourselves a little less seriously, as many religious people need to remind themselves. also, as someone who’s been hanging out in these groups for about 6 years now, i’ll outright tell yall that most pagan groups have ongoing issues with racism, transphobia, ableism, and other social prejudices, as well as the aforementioned predators and cults. many many pagans really do just go “lols The Spirits Don’t Care About Race silly sjws” and then appropriate the hell out closed traditions and act disrespectful as hell to the people who say it’s wrong; if you’re criticizing us for shit like this, GOOD. That’s legitimate criticism that we choose to ignore far too often.

however, more and more of the “criticism” i see on here toward pagans is just saying we’re crazy, stupid, gullible, or other shitty nu-atheist talking points that have just been repurposed to target a growing fringe subculture that has been widely declared an acceptable target by culturally christian progressives AS WELL AS the religious right.

the justification for this is that no white pagans are discriminated against for being pagan, and i know for a fact that isn’t true. all the pagans i talk to report having to keep it a secret from family, friends, or coworkers -but for this post, i’ll keep it limited to my own experiences. i was abused by my parents as a minor for converting from christianity to a pagan faith, and having to keep my religion and experiences a complete secret from most of my friends and family really did take a toll on me. now, as an adult, i’ve learned to keep my religious beliefs a secret from most strangers and especially anyone who might know me at work, because people will start treating you differently -either like you’re evil, or gullible and stupid in a way they (mostly) don’t accuse mainstream religions of. when i was in the psych ward, i was refused my paperback holy text which i had brought with me for the same reason a christian would bring a bible into a scary and traumatic situation, but because the mainly-christian patients were bullying me for being pagan and the nurses didn’t want to deal with it, so the staff withheld it from me for 3 days until i could talk to a social worker. when my aunt took me in so i could move away from my parents, she coaxed me into sharing about my religion, which i naively did because it was rare for people to take an interest in it, and then the next day she told me if i didn’t get rid of all my “occult” stuff (mostly books and tarot cards), she would kick me out. i can’t get holy days off and in some states i can’t run for a lot of public offices unless I’m Christian. (yeah, i realize the post is talking about atheists, but people use those same laws against pagans as well, because as far as they’re concerned, we don’t believe in God, either.)

if any of this happened because i converted to buddhism or another well-known established open religion, people would call it religious discrimination. non-pagans who talk about this almost always say “yeah well you CHOSE to convert that religion, it isn’t a culture or religion you were raised in”, as though that means we’re under some obligation to quietly absorb any insults or abuse related to something so universally personal as one’s faith -like why does it matter to yall if i was raised in this faith, or converted? why is a faith only “real” if you were raised in it, or are adopting it literally from your direct ancestors?

i realize to people who aren’t religious that this may sound like nonsense, but my experience as a kid wasn’t that it looked cool and trendy and i wanted to feel special. i’m sure that some people are like that, but on the by and large, that’s just a strawman. Personally, whether my experiences that led me to convert were real or not is irrelevant: I was a kid who needed to be able to confide in adults about what i was going through, but the fact that I had started to perceive the world vastly differently than Christians did, and no longer believe in Christian theology, meant it was unsafe for me to do so. not being able to talk to anyone about it without getting either literally accused of being crazy, demonically possessed (happened many times) or like i was just stupid caused real, lasting damage. instead of being the source of stability, comfort, and fellowship that faith can be during difficult times, it’s often been something i feel i need to either hide from others, or defend my right to care deeply about.

as a result of people taking this attitude toward pagans, i and many other young pagans have to rely on online spaces to find any kind of fellowship with people who believe the way that we do. this is isolating and uncomfortable for most, and legitimately dangerous for some. see, if you confine a whole subculture to be either a joke or Satanic depending on your political leaning, the subculture generally develops an Us Against Them in-group/out-group mindset, which makes it much easier for predators and some actual cults to prey on vulnerable people.

keep in mind: pagans are not a monolith; it’s an umbrella term for a lot of different religions. (i don’t claim any kind of ancestral tie to my particular pagan faith, but since it was always an open culture and religion, it doesn’t matter if i have a “hereditary right” to it.) there are a lot of pagans of color, even including Heathenism which has a literal Nazi problem. (i’m referring to people i’ve met irl as well as online here.) lots of young queer people who feel rejected by mainstream religions find a lot of comfort in worshipping queer icons like Loki, Dionysus, Artemis, Set, etc. When you write off pagans as a whole for being just dumb racist white people, you throw them under the bus by erasing them. you isolate them the same way you do me, and they are even more likely to experience the kind of discrimination and abuse i have. is it really worth it to make them feel even more alienated in their religious choices, because they go against the mean-spirited stereotype that secular and non-pagan progressive people have crafted for pagans?

Also, antifascist and progressive pagans are already swimming against the tide to make social prejudices persona not grata within our spaces, and it makes pagan reactionaries’ recruitment tactics WAY more effective when the world around new, insecure pagans tells them they’re automatically racist privileged white people for being interested in paganism. you don’t need to have any sympathy for bigots, but you should at least acknowledge the end result of this kind of rhetoric. i don’t like it either, but most people aren’t going to stop being pagan, or stop talking about it publicly altogether (as that seems to be the only thing that will make yall happy lol) when people make fun of them constantly; they’re gonna dig their heels in and do the in-group out-group thing people always fuckin’ do in these situations. that mindset makes otherwise-normal people, who may have been willing to learn and grow out of their background prejudices under other circumstances, easier for the truly racist monsters in our community to begin grooming.

paganism is a swiftly growing counterculture, and it’s more than likely that at some point it’s going to be part of a larger conversation on religious freedom. i don’t think people on tumblr or twitter roasting pagans is discriminatory necessarily, but life isn’t split up into “discrimination” and “okay things to do”. yall are pretty obviously just petty and excited to make fun of people who you think are weird, because yall can easily insist that every pagan is a privileged racist cis white lady, therefore it’s totally okay to be rude, dismissive, or just outright mean-spirited to pagans as a group because you’re pretending your bullying is enlightened or required by social justice laws. this is what we in pagan culture call “a dick move”.

besides, it’s ten thousand times more accurate and funnier to roast us for being too self important and arguing over whether emoji spells are Serious Magic or not lmao.

#pagan #smarmyanarchist #this ended up really long because im trying to cover all my bases before ppl start twisting my words lmao #ableism

74 notes · View notes

normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

Note

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHDBpb/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCTwq/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHUxHb/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHDxww/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCtVm/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCvo3/

She's hilarious but there's two videos where she starts to speak more mumblingly

ok first of all these are brilliant and i'm losing my mind and i love you, thank you for curating these to me.

i will transcribe them in a bit but i just felt the need to leave this "little" (it's long sorry) note:

as someone who's been raised catholic i just want to say that she is pretty wrong about almost everything she said about catholics, and i say that as someone who hates catholicism with my whole mind body and soul and who's been traumatized by this stupid fucking faith to the point where i can't get into a church without breaking into sobs dauihdasiuh. the catholic guilt is real but catholics are absolutely allowed to divorce and use contraceptives, and also have sex before marriage. the first one is met with some guilt esp from women altho honestly i think it's more due to mysoginist reasons than religious reasons, and the second and third ones are commonpractice and if you say that it's wrong and bad everyone will think you're a fucking weirdo

and even with the divorce thing, while the guilt is there (im pretty sure half the reason my mom doesn't divorce is because she would feel guilty about it, although again, i feel like that's got very little to do with religion and way more with internalized mysoginy), i cannot stress enough that divorce is allowed, almost everyone i know has divorced parents and they're all catholics. the church's official position is kinda weird (as of now pope francis basically said that it's "morally necessary" in some cases but he also referred to ppl who divorced and remarried as "imperfect", but like, it hasn't been forbidden for years, so much so that people get second marriages at catholic churches literally all the time, and i kinda feel like ppl overestimate how much ppl care about what the pope says. at least here in latam, cuz we've always kind of freestyled religion since it was imposed on us anyway, but like... in my experience the average catholic practitioner is INCREDIBLY less conservative than the vatican and i feel like most people don't even know what the pope says or doesn't say. and i'm saying that as someone whose grandfather almost became a priest and only gave that up because he fell in love with my grandmother, and he's been a ferverent catholic his entire life. also two of his kids divorced, one married a divorced woman, one is gay and living together without marriage with his divorced boyfriend, one never married, and one had two kids before marriage which necessarily means that they fucked, and none of that was ever a problem to him. oh, also, my dad had divorced AND he was a buddhist when him and my mom married. currently he is a spiritist)

i think it might be possible that u technically have to ask for "permission" to the church to remarry in church, but in practice i think it's more of a ritualistic thing than actually asking for permission, cuz i've never met a single person who had them say no. it was pretty much "hey local bishop guy so my husband sucked and we divorced can i marry again" "sure lol". obviously it sucks that you even have to ask, but it's nowhere near as strict as people seem to think

the contraceptive thing is also absurd. like i cannot stress enough that my family would absolutely flip if they found out i DIDN'T use contraception. that was always something that my family reinforced very strongly, ESPECIALLY my grandpa. i've never met a single catholic who does not teach their kids to use contraceptives. my high school was catholic (literally named the Holy Cross, fun times, although they didn't impose the faith or anything. in fact almost half of the students in that school are jewish, but like, still, there was a priest in the school board) and we were taught to use contraceptives, put the condom in a banana and the whole pizzazz during biology class

like yeah the bible says not to but it also says not to mix different fabrics and that doesn't mean it's actually a thing that's reinforced in most catholic communities doaihdaj at least not here in latam. in here non-catholic christians are actually way more hardcore about the puritanism rules than catholics are, particularly evangelicals, which are kind of overtaken the catholics' traditional role of being colonialist fuckers as they are mostly from the US so they come to further US imperialism through religion here. watch out catholic church they're coming for ur crown

and even outside of puritanism, "non practicing catholics" are absolutely a thing like ppl who are catholic but don't even pray or go to church, much less care about that shit douahdsaohj so like the stereotype that all catholics are like the very small minority of hardcore catholics is like the stereotype that every muslim lives by the ultra-conservative muslim rules. it's not true and it's stereotypical and taking the minority ultra conservatives to be the rule when they are not

there's also the fact that there are many different currents of thought inside the catholic church (a little bit like with judaism although way less flexible than judaism is), some of which are very conservative, some of which are progressive. here in latam in particular the teology of liberation is extremely popular (it's the one my family subscribes to, and i'm pretty sure it was actually born here in latam) and it's pretty progressive. for catholics, that is

and like mandatory disclaimer that i am coming from my own experiences with latam catholicism, which i feel is different from other catholic countries - my polish friends for example have experiences with catholicism that are a lot closer to those stereotypes than mine ever were - but since most of the catholic population in the world is brazilian (like me), and second place goes to mexicans, i feel pretty comfortable taking it as a ruler to measure general catholic practices

with that being said, however, the catholic church can choke and die in a fire as it is a symbol of colonialism first and foremost, its proselitism is one of the worst things ever, and even the progressive currents are still way too damn conservative for my tastes. i just don't feel comfortable transcribing something that i know is incorrect and stereotypical (and that in some cases is used to further oppression like with the Irish in the UK or armenian catholics, and i've even had some US-diaspora latinos hear some incredible things from gringos who assumed they were catholic, or, in their beautiful words, "had latino religion". but obviously in most cases catholics are the oppressors, especially here in the third world)

also, her assessment in the third video is absolutely correct. A/B/O IS just conservative gender roles born of christian and catholic imposition transposed to a fictional world where the genders have slightly different names, which is why i, as a rule, hate it dauhdsaiuhdauhda and even though the assessment that catholicism is thaaat much more conservative than other christian religions (it's absolutely not, it's Exactly As Conservative) isn't true, catholicism is still where most if not all of western conservative rethoric is born of, and ugh, it's so refreshing to see someone understand this and put it into words so well

so yeah keep that note in mind but anyway, transcriptions:

[Video transcription #1: in reply to a tiktok question, which says, "now i'm thinking about the catholic guilt that would come with it oh my god". user @Omarsbigsister is saying, "good morning", she then covers her mouth as she starts to laugh, before continuing, "I guess I'm the religious omegaverse tiktoker now. I did not know catholic guilt was more than just sex, I thought it was just about sex, but nO. people who are catholic, if you don't know, they get guilt over every little thing, they get guilty when they eat, they have guilt when, like... [dismissive gesture] they have fun... it's messed up *cut* [mumbling i don't understand, sorry] in which you HAVE to be bonded before... *sticks tongue out* *cut* and catholics, from what i know, uhm, cannot get divorced, so you can't be unbonded, you're stuck for life with that alpha or omega, and then you can't use contraceptives so if you have a heat or rut, good luck, you cannot escape it, and on top of that, they preach abstinence, right, so if you're having a heat or rut in your teen years you just gotta deal with it alone like you are not allowed to be bonded, so, that would be really intense."

#2: in response to a question, which said, "follow up question: if in the real world hijabis are women, in ABO universe would hijabis be omegas of all genders?". the user is shown stroking her chin in contemplative silence for a long time, before she says, "actually, both men and women have to wear a hijab, it's just more visible on women, but men also have to cover from like, the neck all the way down... so like when you see them [mumbling i don't understand, sorry] that's their hijab. *cut* Islam is actually treating men and women, like, fairly somewhat equally, so, I feel like in omegaverse alphas, betas, and omegas would all be held to the same standards, and alphas and omegas would also be held by the same standards but then culture would ruin it, just like western culture has ruined it. for your other question. 'would muslim families prefer betas more, and would betas be spiritual leaders', i feel like everyone prefers betas more, but then also Islam came to like, uplift women [a written note then shows up, which says, "like girls are seen as a blessing to have as kids"], so like omegas would be seen as like, a blessing to have as a child.

#3: in response to another tiktok question, which says, "fun fact bestie you cannot get divorced in the catholic religion even if your spouse is abusive and horrible to you so in omegaverse how would that work?". she replies, "the reason that Abrahamic religions seemingly fit so well into the omegaverse universe is because catholicism specifically and christianity, uhm, all the gender norms and all the cultural norms especially in the west came from catholicism and christianity, they were forced on people, and then you know, people might not be religious, but the norms stay. but now you have omegaverse which is basically just a bunch of like youth exploring the youth through this, like, werewolf fanfiction trope, using all these gender roles that you have in society on their head, so, really, what i'm saying, is that... omegaverse is just catholicism fanfiction"

#4: she looks at the camera and says, "getting islamophobic comments is one thing, but getting islamophobic comments that say that muslims cannot be in the omegaverse".... she then breaks into laughter for a solid 30 seconds

#5: she is shown reading out loud, in a mock-outraged face, a tweet that says, "about to murder tiktok they try to make Ramadan a 'quirky' trend. it's a religious holiday. stop it, get some help. /srsly /g.", then a follow-up tweet, which says, "saw a tweet saying on tiktok they are asking questions about how ramadan would work in omegaverse. i'm done with y'all, just say you disrespect muslims and go". then another tweet by a different user, which says, "i tried to read, i got secondhand embarrassment-" they then break out of character and say, "oh, that's fair," before going back, "if it wasn't ramadan i'd be boxing those people right now. those people should be ashamed to even think that way wtf". then another, which replies, "well i'm not celebrating it, so as a non-muslim, i'll happily box them". then, back to her normal voice, she says, "i really was just making a silly little tiktok and seeing that stuff really hurts... i'm just kidding, i can't keep a straight face. you like minecraft youtubers, what are you gonna do to me? what are you gonna do to me?"

#6: in reply to a tiktok ask, which said, "prince philip was an omega". she slowly films herself as she takes a walk, finds the nearest trash bin, and tosses the phone there, before putting the lid over the box. end ID]

#i hope u dont take that as me being mad at u anon #honestly i could care less if ppl offended catholics #i just dont like spreading misinformation and once i started writing i couldnt stop #the videos are still amazing and spot on tho except for the first one #long post #discourse #catholicism tw

3 notes · View notes

noonymoon · 3 years

Text

JUSTICE FOR JESUS — Misconceptions & Prejudices about the Faith in the Biblical Jesus Christ.

INTRO

Jesus put it on my heart to write about one of the main factors that keep people away from Him nowadays and I feel qualified to do that since I was in exactly that peer group before Christ knocked on my door (the second time) and showered me with His Love. As some maybe have read in my first testimony, at first I had violently pushed Him away (and I was extremely rude, I remember how I sent a ten minutes audio voice message to a friend [i mean, who does that...??], and philosophized about how the God of the Bible could be the Devil Himself and that maybe it‘s a trap for the weak people who need Religion to cope in this life; looking back that was just entirely bonkers and also very wrong, and now that I know Jesus, I am ashamed that I‘ve ever thought something evil like this, but gladly He has a heart probably bigger than the Universe itself and will always forgive)

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. — Matthew 18:21-22

and among all the outrageously horrible things I‘ve done in my life, this was probably the most bad error ever. God thought that by now I sure was humble enough to be approached (you know after my Mama died, I‘ve had 2 strokes, I‘ve been in a terribly traumatic violent relationship for over 2 years, I‘ve lost my apartment and almost lost my mind as well clearing out the apartment, was homeless for several months and received multiple thousands of Euros debts in my name because of the situation that was going on in my living community and with my Ex, people who have been following this blog know what I am talking about) but I was sooooo stubborn and DUMB. and not humble at all. I‘ve thought I had all the answers because „Spirituality“ is so much better than „Religion“ and because esoteric and occult knowledge is the Truth and that I would be „enlightened“ someday when I just kept „working“ to „spiritually grow“, meditate, doing divination about „my soul“ and my „past lives“ and „my future“, and „manifest“ my life however I wanted it to be.

A month after I‘ve pushed Jesus away and blasphemed His intentions, well, I was laying on my (new apartment) floor, having the worst seizure one can imagine, my brain was flooded in blood, the pressure and pain on me was extreme, my whole body clenched, the paramedics spoke to me very alarmed and dramatically, and I could hear and understand them but I was entirely paralyzed within my body, I could not speak, I could not move, I sweated so hard that my entire clothes were soaked from only 20 minutes of laying there, then I‘ve had to vomit twice, almost drifted off to unconsciousness, was freezing cold, got transported as fast as possible to the hospital... had a 6 hour brain surgery, was in a coma for 2-3 days and when I woke up I‘ve lived through almost an entire month of hospital „terror“ (I am very sure that I‘ve had something like an almost-psychosis in the first 2 weeks because really weird things happened in my mind back then that I cannot even explain) and it was already the Covid-19 panic, so I was literally alone all day, every day until I was stabilized and was allowed to leave the hospital at the end of April.

I‘m not saying that God punished me, not at all. But what He indeed does is disciplining the ones that He has chosen to be His child, just like an actual Father has to sometimes discipline his child for the sake of proper parenting. When I was stubborn and pushed Jesus away, Satan had legitimate authority to do whatever he wanted, except that I die. We see a similar situation in the book of Job 1:6-12

After I got home, I was still in horrible shape, I could barely walk (I‘ve used a rollator and later on I‘ve used crutches), I‘ve had a bad headache pretty much all the time (I still do, not all of the time, but very often), I‘ve done my daily rehab until first week of July, and now I am on weekly rehab. People would say I‘ve had enormous „luck“ or a „guardian angel“ but I know now that it was God who protected me. He needed to make sure that I meet Jesus AND accept Him before I truly die because death without Jesus means death eternal.

And so, Jesus approached me another time and I‘ve wrestled with Him and I‘ve almost pushed Him away again but THANK GOD, to the exact same time, an old friend from TUMBLR found me on Twitter (she was @spirit-mouse back on here) and also at the same time I‘ve heard of Courtney (@powerpriestess) turning to Christ, and at first I was like „?????“ and it was a huge struggle back and forth for days and I‘ve ALMOST pushed Jesus away again but ... talking with this old friend, who also felt a pull towards Jesus, I let it happen, because she let it happen, like a few days before me, and now I am just eternally grateful that my pride, stubbornness and idiocy didn‘t get a hold of me again and that I just let it happen and it was the best decision in my ENTIRE life. I am just filled with love and eternal gratitude for God and Jesus for not giving up on me, for humbling me enough to make it happen, and I literally don‘t go more than 15 minutes of my day without thinking of them, every single day, since July. It‘s just NOT possible to be born-again and to not think of God all the time *lol* - I have never been more satisfied, happy and peaceful in my entire existence and I could literally drop dead right now and I know it would be okay! (well okay, I really want to be baptized first..)

HOWEVER, - this was a long intro - the misconceptions about the Faith in the Biblical Jesus Christ are severe (!) and since I, myself, had aaaall the evil prejudices that one can have, I want to clear them aaaall up in this post series. My prayer is that people who feel a pull towards Jesus won‘t do the same mistake that I did and that maybe I can help to clear away the stigma and confusion about the faith in Jesus and following Him.

If anyone needs help along the way, you can contact me on Instagram @ noony.newborn - I know just how confusing EVERYTHING is when you start your relationship with Christ and how utterly confusing the Bible is, and sadly, these days, you can literally not trust a SINGLE pastor because Satan has infiltrated the institutional Church around 300 A.D. and ever since then, it just got worse and worse and worse with the blasphemy and deception.

I don‘t have an exact outline but some of the things I‘d like to talk about are the things you most definitely do NOT need to know, love, follow and obey Jesus Christ: Institutional Church, a Pastor, Religion, Creeds and man-made Doctrines, the Pope, Catholic Catechism, Rules, Bible Commentaries of religious Authors, nothing of that. The literally only thing you need is a Bible, Prayer and JESUS and that‘s all that you need. Of course a congregation is a nice thing to have but trust me, you rather want to be alone with Jesus than to be at your local Sunday Service and be entirely devoid of the presence of Christ, His Holy Spirit.

I will include a handful of testimonies of real people who met Jesus, were born-again and are absolutely in Love with Him, on each of these posts. The variety of people who come to Jesus is just incredible and I cry every time when I see such testimonies because I can so much relate to the emotional atmosphere and how everyone is just so grateful. I have been crying pretty much daily since July just because His love is so overwhelming and a human can not possibly hold it inside without shaking and wanting to burst, tears are the only suitable reaction for me (and as far as I’ve seen in the testimonies, every born-again believer feels the same way, it’s beautiful beyond anything).

I pray that you are open to this series of posts and that maybe God can reach you through them, so that you, too, can be born-again and just joyful and at peace with your life forever and ever.

May Jesus bless you ♡

TESTIMONIES

Melody Alisa - From New Age to Jesus | My Testimony

Kyle - Suicidal Atheist Finds Jesus | Testimony

Ayelet - I am Jewish and I Believe in Yeshua - Jesus!

Shokit Ali - A Muslim gets saved by Jesus Christ! Powerful Testimony!

Samuel A. Perez - Gay Stripper Saved By Jesus | Christian Testimony

#Jesus Christ #jesus loves you #justice for jesus

10 notes · View notes

phonaesthemes · 4 years

Text

a list of asks

@padawanyugi tagged me in this, but Tumblr decided to eat any notification that I got tagged, so I’m glad I saw it on my dash because I like filling these things out. Thanks for tagging me! I may have typed A Lot.

Favorites: What types of books do you enjoy? Tell about what you’ve read recently (Or maybe about a book you hated recently!)I like spec-fic and sci-fi, although less “hard” science fiction, and I also enjoy fantasy. I read a lot of YA even though I’m in my 30s just because it seems easy to find a story I want to read and I’m not usually in the mood for dense prose.

I’ve been rereading the Wheel of Time series since it’s getting an Amazon TV show; it was my first non-LOTR fantasy series and I love it to death, warts and all, although I love joking about the weak points with other people who’ve read it. I think the last other thing I read was A Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue, which was a queer YA historical fiction, and it was a lot of fun. I wish I’d had access to all these queer stories when I was an actual teenager, but better late than never.

What types of music do you like to listen to? Share five songs from your music library. I really do like a bit of everything, although I gravitate towards certain genres more often depending on the season or time of day, so I’m going to cheat and pick 5 per season. Summer for me is lots of peppy pop (pride playlists!), punk and rock and punk-adjacent stuff, just upbeat stuff in general. -Weekender, by The Royal They -Break My Heart, by Dua Lipa -Toutes les femmes savent danser, by Loud -Ruby Soho, by Rancid -Womanarchist, by Bad Cop, Bad Cop

In the fall, my inner goth kid craves darkwave, goth rock, dramatic folk, roots rock, and also anything that reminds me of Halloween. -Iuka, by the Secret Sisters -Bela Lugosi’s Dead, by Bauhaus -How’s It Gonna End, by Tom Waits -Under the Milky Way, by The Church -I Put a Spell on You, by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins I could go on about the Christmas music I like at length (Boney M’s Christmas album slaps, ngl) but I’ll just skip that and say that I listen to more classical and piano pieces in the winter. I’m terrible at remembering names, so artists only: -Ludovico Einaudi -Chopin -Debussy -Saint-Saëns -Dvořák And in spring I’m usually just depressed af and listen to whatever. -FML, by K.Flay -Weird Part of the Night, by Louis Cole -Juodaan Viinaa, by Korpiklaani -P.O.H.U.I., by Carla’s Dreams -Marryuna, by Baker Boy

Do you have a show or movie that you can just put on anytime and it’s your comfort? Definitely Star Trek. I’ve rewatched the various iterations (except TOS) so many times. Also Mean Girls and Bring It On, idk why.

Do you have a favorite dessert? Tiramisu or creme brulée! Or macarons. I don’t eat dessert really unless I’m at a restaurant.

Do you have a favorite cold drink? Sparkling water, hands down.

Do you have a favorite game? The hours I have put into the SIms in my lifetime is probably shameful, although I haven’t played in a while. Don’t Starve is another contender for hours played, but I am also really fond everything by Amanita Design

Do you have a favorite part of your self care/beauty/health routine? I haven’t been doing it much lately since I’ve been dealing with some uncertain health issues with my joints (actually have a rheumatologist appointment later today), but savasana after a long yoga workout is borderline ecstasy.

Do you have a favorite type of take-out food? Indian for sure.

What’s your favorite type of exercise/physical activity? I have a love-hate relationship with running. I don’t actually love it but I love how I feel after. I really enjoy yoga. I love playing in the water at the beach, bodyboarding and swimming.

Pick between: (you choose the context)

Cook or bake? (I love cooking A Lot)

Space or ocean? (Hard to pick, but I grew up by the ocean and it’s 100% my happy place)

Chocolate or vanilla?

City or suburb or rural? (I grew up in an isolated rural village and I miss the quiet and the slower pace of life, but I do not miss the lack of amenities and opportunities, or the smalltown gossip. I also don’t drive bc of epilepsy, so I’m fucked as far as transport in rural settings.)

Past or future?

Shower in the morning or evening?

Mac/Apple or PC/Android? (Linux in general!)

Sing or dance? (I don’t have an amazing voice but I can carry a tune without it being painful, and I love singing along with songs.)

Get up early or sleep in? (I actually love sleeping in but with two kids, early morning is my only time to myself, so I wake up before 6 most days AGGH.)

Shoes, socks, or bare feet? (Hate socks. I’m barefoot at home all year round.)

Marker, crayon, or pencil? Pen!

Tea, coffee, or hot chocolate? (Coffee in the morning, tea later on.)

Random questions:

Have you ever had any pets? (Had dogs and a cat as a kid, and as an adult I’ve had betta fish and cats, and I have a cat currently.)

What is your academic background/job field? I did my undergrad in linguistics, and I am currently a stay-at-home dad lol. I do freelance editing and transcription on the side. I don’t think I’ll ever work in my field bc I really don’t have the energy to go to grad school.

What’s something random that you’re into (even if you aren’t good at it)? I signed up for a Cape Breton step dancing class in university and I loved it.

Are you good at putting away your clean laundry right away? It depends on the day, but generally yes. Mine and everyone else’s. When I lived alone? Absolutely not.

What’s one of your pet peeves? Someone trying to have a conversation with me when they have the radio or TV on. I can’t follow what you’re saying if someone else is speaking! I hate having that stuff on as background noise in general.

What’s something you’re pretty good at? I’m a great cook.

What’s the most recent nice thing you bought for yourself? A new conditioner ig? lol

Can you sew? I can mend a small tear or sew on a button, but it’s been years since I did more than that.

What’s a chore you hate (or a chore you enjoy)? I hate vacuuming so much. So much. Maybe if I had a better vaccuum cleaner I wouldn’t mind it, but I just feel like I’m fighting with the stupid thing, getting caught up on its own cords, caught on furniture, can’t quiiiite reach a spot... HATE IT. I like shoveling snow sometimes, though.

Tell us a fun fact about yourself. I am 20 years older than my youngest sibling, and five minutes younger than my “oldest” sibling.

Never have I ever... Gone fishing, even though I’m from a fishing community.

What extracurriculars did/do you do in school? In high school, I played trumpet in band until the band got dissolved from lack of funding. I played soccer one year, was in a play another year. We had an art club for like a semester that I was in. In university the first time round, I did step dancing and intramural hide and seek Second time around, I was in the linguistics club to help with assignments. (We were very much encouraged to work in pairs or groups for a lot of different classes. The only thing was that you did need to list your group members on the assignment so the prof knew who you worked with. My first morphology class in particular, we had a whole homework club where a huge portion of the class got together to work through assignments and help each other understand, and the prof would quite often show up. </tangent>

Deeper questions:

How’s your quarantine/last few months been? The cabin fever was really bad before the weather warmed up. I struggle with seasonal depression every spring, and it’s gotten much worse since we moved to Edmonton because of how long the winters are. (Snow from September to May/June? Fucccck.) It’s frankly horrifying to look at what’s going on in the US, but even though we have far fewer cases here, I’m really anxious that we’ll see another wave soon. Otherwise, I think I’ve adjusted. Home-schooling, hand-sanitizing, social distancing, masks...All feels kind of normal now, which should maybe concern me.

What do you think of human nature/society/etc.? I am like the least philosophical person you will meet so I don’t think I really have many thoughts.

What’s something you are insecure about? Writing my L2 if a native speaker is gonna read it.

What do you think is the meaning of life/reason that humans exist in the universe? I don’t think there is one, and that doesn’t bother me.

Do you think you’re better (whatever that means to you) than you used to be? Definitely. My adolescence and early adulthood was rough. I was dealing with a lot of trauma, untreated bipolar disorder, and I self-harmed for a very long time. I could not imagine making it to 30, let alone being stable and happy. I actively avoided thinking about the future because it made me spiral. But I was lucky enough to get help, consistent help from a doctor I clicked with, and it made a world of difference. I think younger me would be disappointed at how mundane my life is, but I’m thrilled to be boring because boring means no life-upending mood episodes. I have a happy partnership and two delightful kids and I couldn’t ask for more.

What are your thoughts on religion? I’m not religious and my own experience being raised in the Catholic church was frankly traumatic, but I know that it’s a source of comfort and community for many others and I think that’s awesome for them.

Do you think that there are aliens out there? I think so, although I think that we may not even know what other kinds of life to look for and may not recognize it even if we find it.

What’s something that’s been on your mind recently? We’re moving cross-country in less than a month (driving, no less, nearly 5000 km) and I still have so much to do to get ready aosjdoajdoasijdoaijsd

#personal #long post #in which i ramble about myself a great deal #@padawanyugi

1 note · View note

primeadv · 5 years

Photo

SITS DOWN

PULLS OUT 10 GIANT ALBUMS :)))

(this came out way longer than I intended im so fuckgkdsdf sory)

How I feel about this character: EVERYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS I’M IN LOVE WIHT RATCHET. I love him in all iterations of Transformers because he’s always the tired, pragmatic one of the group. In contrast, he’s also almost tiredly optimistic in some ways. He won’t get out of bed, but if someone gets shot in the head he’ll spend however long and beyond to resuscitate them. There’s 2 halves to this--the me who identifies with the beating exhaustion he exudes, and the me who’s in awe that he’ll still fight his way through life. I won’t... get into each continuity...because that’s too much, so I’ll stick with probably the most unpopular version of him and that’s IDW (my impression, anyway). IDW Ratchet gets a lot of flack for being way too sour and like, maybe not selfish, but uncaring. He cares! A lot! He’s always thinking about everyone in really surprisingly thoughtful ways. Like when he’s 90% sure he’ll die due to Overlord and his last words are to promote First Aid to CMO (he’s ready!! god that’s sweet), and to give his hands to Whirl (though maybe a bit blindsided, he’s paid attention to some roots of Whirl’s trauma). Or yeah he’s hella mean to Drift in the beginning, but when Drift is dying in his arms he’s scREAMING at him “you’re gonna make it! You’re gonna be fine because I’m gonna make sure you’re gonna be fine”. He can be an asshole, but he knows the time and place. Death isn’t something to play with--he’s seen probably countless friends die, and he doesn’t want that to happen again. Even now, even after the war. So I feel very confused when ppl act like he’s this mean, cold person. He’s exTREMELY emotional. He’s probably way too invested in everyone’s lives, honestly? He interrupts a round table story for Rung just to reminisce on the veery last time he, OP, and Roller were together in the same room (not even hanging out or anything, just being together one last time. who remembers that after 5+ millions years??). He started an illegal clinic in the bad part of town because he wanted to put his skills to better use! Like! LOL. ALSO, a point that i think is unfair is that ppl think his atheism is just really mean. IT is! But I think it shows just how much of an emotional and extremely, deeply hurt person he is. It gets aggravating when he’s condescending of religion, because there’s no simple logic to it. He reacts the way he does because he’s a hurt person who’s gone through years of trauma and this is his way of coping. Is it healthy or right? Nah, but it’s humanizing. It’s why when he becomes closer to Drift he occupies this weird between space where he snarks but also tries to indulge more in perspectives outside of his own in his own dumb old tsundere way. He’s a person who believes in justice, ultimately, and religion to him doesn’t fall under justice. ALSO, can I say that his inability to say good byes is so.. like relatable? I have rly bad social anxiety, and so I’ve definitely ghosted people who’ve been nothing but really supportive for me. It’s not because I wanted to burn them, but it freaks you out needing to, not even say goodbye, but communicate with ppl. And for Ratchet--how many times was he FORCED to say good bye to friends + patients who were dying beyond his help? Maybe, if he could help it, he doesn’t want to say goodbye. And it’s tragic the times he’s just left, these were people who ended up either dying for falling astray into insanity, i.e., beyond his help. But he learns. He chases after Drift, who he actually said, in a way, good bye to (helping him off the floor after being attacked, also I should point out that a very tiny handful of people were comfortable interacting w/ Drift at all, and how much Ratchet just doesn’t give a shit abt how other ppl think abt him. he’ll help drift off the floor bc t’s the right thing to do). He says goodbye in his old dumb way--First Aid calls him out on it. ALSO his trust in First Aid is super cute. ALSO he’s like.. genuinely nice to Ten (he helped him get a date with Minimus!!!). And he’s not afraid to call out on other ppl’s bullshit (telling rodi straight you dont deserve to be captain which, at the time, was really true). He’s also SUPER smart. Also there’s that post on tumblr that pointed out that Ratchet immediately goes to deescalate conflict. He’s willing to put aside pride and anything if it means ultimately coming to a resolution where EVERYONE involved is safe. The only time he doesn’t is FUCKING OVERLORD who he rightfully, immediately, tries to briefly incapacitate to lockdown his medibay (protect patients/information). Ok I gotta stop I can go on forever just going page to page. Also, despite my love, I can totally point out his flaws. He’s grating when it’s unnecessary, he’s abhorrently bad at communicating, he’s privileged, he’s narrow-minded at times, etc. ec. But again what I love about him is that despite all that, he’ll throw his own self out the window for others’s well-being bc he genuinely, genuinellyyy cares about other people. If only he could care for himself //cries All the people I ship romantically with this character OH god... everyone. He’s my bicycle. ok look, ya’ll know I’m an intense dratchet shipper and I could literally write a god damn essay. ... here’s another essay???!! So, I’ma be real, I wasn’t a super dratchet shipper before. I wasn’t anti (i have no notps), but I was just “yeah they’re cute i guess haha”. But 99.99% the reason why I ship anything is all for super cute adorable fanart. and I kept drawing them because 1) ratchet’s my fav, 2) drift is super popular so I figured I should learn to draw him. And they became the only 2 mechs I could draw. I used to be way more into Scavengers + megarod. I used to only like 1 dratchet fanfic and that’s bc it was less romantic and more plot centric (still a fav tho). Then I kept seeing cute fanart, I would read posts by other dratchet shippers too about what makes them so nice? And I was yeah.. oh yeah. And it doesn’t help that in Lost Light, drift is CONSTANTLY by Ratchet’s side. He’s constantly checking up on him and holding him and touching him, like as if Ratchet is the thing that he needs to make sure, at all costs, is safe. In Drift’s life, Ratchet is the one who appears to him when he needs support the most but is in the most denial of it. When Drift is at the brink of death, overdosed and about to be broken apart and Orion brings him to Ratchet’s clinic. Ratchet patches him up pro-bono and tells him that he sees something special in him. like??? can you imagine how that feels? To have no one believe in you--you don’t even believe in yourself, and yet here’s this person who tells you “you’re gonna be great”. And it totally doesn’t hit Drift in anyway, at least in a way that’s tangible to him, until much later in life. Or maybe it does (hey, how do you weave character narratives when it’s been written by like 3 different ppl shrugs). And that statement means 2 different things to them. To Drift, it’s a reminder that he’s worth something, even if it’s a sliver of nearly nothing to hold onto. To Ratchet, it’s a reminder that the greatness he saw led to the deaths of thousands of people. HEY can you imagine this person you saved, patched up, tried to encourage, ended up being a mass serial killer in the future? (have you ever read Monster by Naoki Urusawa). Ended up killing people you loved? So it’s no wonder that a good part of Ratchet is absolutely mad at Drift. And I think if that was all, they probably would’ve ended up being amicable. But Drift also ended up being super religious and seeing the hand and primus in everything and oh my god is this person really waxing poetry on the value of life when he, himself, shot several bullets at me at one point? I also believe they are uncomfortably similar as they are different. The reason why they constantly butt heads is they’re two people trying to escape a past they don’t want and found complete opposite ways to cope with their losses. Drift found religion, Ratchet is gratingly pragmatic, and they see each other and go “how could this guy choose to be this way?”. I’ve heard ppl like to cite the annual as the reason why they could never work out. BUT, can I point out, that they act around each other in a way they don’t with anyone else? Drift gets SO MAD. Ratchet gets extremely talkative and incredibly personal (pulled out an electro slug from someone’s spark, holy shit that fucking traumatized you didn’t it??). They challenge each other emotionally, and it’s so fucking difficult bc they’re both extremely depressed and suffer from PTSD and would probably rather just go on their dumb space adventure and look at stars--take 2 emotionally constipated idiots and you get them. And hell no, don’t tell me Drift is in-tune with his feelings bc he’s 10000% not. He uses religion to cope with a past and life that he doesn’t want to think about. He tries to re-contextualize himself because he hates who he is. OUCHHH. And Ratchet MAKES him confront the parts of himself he hates--bc Ratchet has seen his worst traits and isn’t afraid to make him think about it. So why do they work out eventually? They realize how important they are to each other. Delphi, Drift saves Ratchet’s life while he’s barely holding onto his own because he probably feels like he owes Ratchet his own life. And that’s a huge turning point in their relationship--Ratchet sees that... Drift tries really really fucking hard. My friend Zig pointed out that post-Delphi, Drift is eating energon w/ chopsticks (what a fucking nerd), and you can see in a later panel that Ratchet (who chose to sit next to Drift) is using those chopsticks too. IT’s such a small thing, but they’re becoming closer by sharing and learning from each other. And then Drift takes the fall and leaves. And Ratchet realizes just how important Drift’s presence is in his life. I mentioned it already lol but the scene where Ratchet helps Drift up off the floor and it’s superimposed with the love message Rewind left for CD. They care about each other so much!! And Ratchet chases after him!! HOLY SHIT. If that isn’t romance, what is?? lol I kid, but it’s obvious just how important Drift’s presence meant to him. IT’s really because they became so so so close in a way that can’t be described as just friends. They deeply understand each other in really uncomfortable ways and bring out the absolute worst and absolute best in each other. And this point is where Ratchet again appears when Drift doesn’t realize he needs someone in his life. Drift thinks he can be a loner and just float aimlessly and voicelessly--hell no! He needs friends, he needs community. He NEEDs belonging, because he wants to belong somewhere. And Ratchet helps bridge him back to friends and found family. And Ratchet slowly changes the more he’s with Drift. He reads religious text and tries to brag about it bc he’s a dumb tsundere lol but he’s trying to understand Drift’s interests more even if it takes a decade and more to get there. And Drift values him for being his rock. That’s why he’s constantly making sure Ratchet is safe and unharmed, because he owes at least that much to him. And yeah they eventually fall in love because they value each other in a way they haven’t anyone else. IM EMO I CAN GO ONE, this all probably didn’t make a whole lot of sense but yeah. I’m just so soft to the fact that they’re horribly hurt people who don’t know how to redirect their pain, but by being together they come out healthier and more confident. IT’S RLY ROMANTIC IDKKK My non-romantic OTP for this character As much as I also love OpRatch, they are also great best friend platonic ship. They know each other best, they’ve been through SO MUCH together. It’s honestly a shame they barely interact in IDW bc the small tidbits we have, they obviously deeply respect each other’s opinions and deeply value the relationship they’ve had over the past millions of years. I’m also all for non-romanceOTP for dratchet because I can totally imagine they go to each other to talk about things they feel uncomfortable sharing with others (they’ve seen the absolute worst of each other afterall). My unpopular opinion about this character I don’t... think I ahve one. Some ppl view my love for his as grating lol. One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. Medic spin off.

#ratchet #dratchet

138 notes · View notes

icharchivist · 5 years

Text

tbh when i first heard of the fire i was kinda thinking (and hoping) that it wouldn’t make Worldwide news because everytime it does happen well *waves hand* you know how things are. And if you don’t, boy you’re lucky.

As a Frenchie it was.. very shocking to hear at once. It’s part of our national identity and all. And we can say a lot of things, historically and pop-culture and religion stuff about it.

But i didn’t expect it to have a worldwide appeal. It should have been expected since yeah i know popculture and people seem to like some stuff from France for... some reasons. (i mean i’m the first one to shittalk France. Esp since i’m a second generation from immigrants or oppressed minorities in France anyway. I don’t have any “French pride”.)

Honestly I was just expecting and hoping that this “little grief” would just be shared by a handful of Frenchies on social media and stuff. In a “wow i can’t believe one of the major monument of our country with a lot of dverse history basically collapsed and that makes me sad.” way.

But it didn’t happen. People from all around the world started to react. And while it’s touching at first, there’s the underlining feeling of how a lot of people are going to be terrible about it, especially asking people why they even care (and i don’t think you realize how it feels when you’re reading those. You have no idea how those hottakes felt when the t/errorist attacks happened.)

and I guess i get frightened because, not the first time it happens as well, a similar tragedy always seem to happen elsewhere. Which France doesn’t hear about because we’re focused on our tragedy happening, but in the rest of the world well- I don’t know. People’s weird fascination with France I guess.

But then for a while there’s a lot of guilttrippy post about “how dare you care about the situation in France when this is happening elsewhere” (underlined with “well here’s all the reasons France is terrible so you shouldn’t care”) and everytime it sends me into lowkey panic. Because man, i didn’t follow that, and shit, i’m still emotionally stunned by what happened in my country i don’t know how to react to something else, and it makes me panic.

Turns out something similar happened today. It happened during previous t/errorist attacks too.

And I feel like those posts are mostly targetting at international people but this keeps getting me stunned and I probably have too much of a guilt complex of thinking i should be caring on every fronts that i get easily overwhelmed.

When people are getting negative about when those tragedies happen in France, it’s just rubbing salt in the wound for us. At least for me.

And idk i personally never, ever expected it would blow up worldwide. That’s even why i keep track of some of the tragedies on my blog because hey, don’t think you hear the proper details elsewhere. and I think it may just be a bubble. I started talking about the fire 30 mins after it started to give you insight. Most people hadn’t heard of it when I did.

I know i should feel glad there’s compassion and such, but everytime it blow up worldwide, i’m just so unsettled. bc we don’t ask for it.

And especially since people have no sense of proper timing to know when to address issues linked to those.

So i guess that’s why i’m in lowkey overwhelmed panic atm. Bc this happens again. It’s the 4th time since i’m on tumblr that i’m experiencing something similar.

tbh I stopped blogging about most tragedies i heard from after the second t/errorist attack in france or so. Back then i desperately tried to keep track of every single stuff that was going on around the world, and when this attack happened i felt drained, and all i was seeing was post saying “but we don’t care about France, why don’t you care about that other thing” and i realized i just was.. unable to carry on on that rhythm.

I see it happen today. And it’s just another time. Where we can’t even just grief for a moment while the fire was still burning. Bc we had hundreds of takes all over social media about how to “quickly get over it”. like “oh but don’t panic they’ll rebuild it” one hour into a 6 hours long fire. Not the timing. And it just was very insensitive all the way around.

So. Guess 4th time will be the charm and learn the lesson to just turn off social media when this sort of things happen.

But god. You can be sure that everytime a french things blow up worldwide i end up unsettled and want to scream. I was at least hoping that since this one had no victims, no one starting it, we would just at least accept our grieving and move on. I thought at least we were safe from p/olitical talks. We weren’t.

(also how conveignant that the latest French crisis that had lasted 22 weeks so far had barely been mentioned except to make jokes about how we “got out guillotines” (we didn’t, and people were mad when we ruined their jokes telling them “huh no we have serious problems there”), something that shows shaky p/olitics, but as soon as there’s a “traumatic” event oh let’s talk for hours about why we should disrespect said trauma one way or another. I’m not asking anyone to follow French news. I don’t care. I don’t follow half of the news of others countries and try to not pay too much attention to American ones anymore bc i can’t do anything about it and it adds up a lot of things I should care for and panic about on a daily basis. But man you have the habits to take moments of us feeling kinda horrified by something that’s happening and immediatly coming with hundreds of thinkspieces about why caring about it is bad, actually. As if there was no French people on this website to read you lol.)

idk i guess my point in this post is. I am uncomfortable everytime a French topic turn worldwide bc people has no tact. and it somewhat always happen with another tragedy elsewhere that others people ignore and as a frenchie suddenly i feel guilty for being hurt about something that happens in my country instead of what happens in another. Bc you keep wording your things Like That. And it’s so overwhelming man.)

Anyway I’ll return to my normal blogging tomorrow but that might explain why i’ve been shaking for a while. It’s not even the attacks themselves that i’m dreading about but those sort of reactions. And that’s honestly even sadder.

So yea. Social Media sucks. Who knew.

#ichapersonal #sighs #d/ont r/eblog please thanks

10 notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

Text

Survey #212

“counting bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums.”

Have you ever fired a gun? No. Have you ever tried archery? No. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? A day or so. Do you have any scars? Whew, a lot. I scar easily tbh, though me being so so pale probably contributes to making them more noticeable. Are you a good judge of character? I don't really know. I think so, but then again I'm very very paranoid when meeting new people and look TOO deep into how I expect someone to be. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Just British. What is your favorite accent? British generally, but I find French sooo pretty with girls, then Scottish is cool. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? I have no clue. Probably my leather boots. Can you curl your tongue? Yes, surprisingly... I just tried and I can with the slight curve in my tongue ring. Most used phrased? Probably "what a mood" or something like that lmao. Most used word? Besides the words in most sentences, I'm sure it's probably "fuck." How long does it take for you to get ready? Am I taking a shower? Then just like... less than 20 minutes. Without a shower, it's like less than ten minutes. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Both. Can you name all 50 states of America? No. I'm a sad American. Have you ever started a rumor? No. How fast can you type? I took a test awhile back for a job application purpose and it's 72 or so wpm. How fast can you run? I can tell you NOT FAST without even trying. Color of your bedspread? Navy and black. Have you ever had a really bad haircut? I don't think so. What brand, color, and type is your favorite eyeliner? I don't have one. Do you wear eyeliner? If I ever wear makeup, that's the one thing I will wear. Was there ever a time in your life when you couldn’t cry? Yes, probably early 2017. I was so numb until I started to "feel" recovery. Even as I got better, I had a hard time crying. Last year was a pretty "I can't cry"-type time, too. What’s your favorite type of yogurt? Not a fan of yogurt. What are your favorite type of calendars? I don't have one? Do you have a full-length mirror? Yes. Do you have a piggy bank? No. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? No. What’s your favorite DIY crafts YouTube channel? I don't watch DIY crafts. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? At my current age, bottom. What kind of popcorn is your favorite? Probably caramel corn. But buttery and salty is great too. Does your town have a big fountain in it? No. What is your town known for? Probably nothing. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? If yes, what is it? Hm. That's a long ways off, idk. All I know is it'd be great if Sara was here. And then there's the yearly urge to get a tattoo that day lmao. What is the last new thing you discovered that was really good? I think The Shining. Watched it for the first time and loved it. What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? Hey could I have money right now. Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? If so, what? English/Language Arts. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. What is the best hairstyle you’ve ever had? I love what I currently have. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? Dyed hair. Do you think your look better with curly hair or straight hair? Straight. Do you have bangs? No. What’s your favorite rock band? I'd say Marilyn Manson. (I'm excluding metal, 'cuz that's a different story.) Who’s your favorite country singer? I don't mind Tim McGraw. Did you try the unicorn frappuccino, and if yes, were you a fan? I didn't. When you look at your baby pictures, do you recognize yourself? Actual baby pictures, usually no. Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? Yes; I was born dirty blonde. Do you wear matching socks? Yeah. Do you decorate for Halloween? We don't really anymore. What is your favorite thing to do in the pool? Just swim around, relax. Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? I think so. What color(s) eyeshadow do you wear the most? Only ever black. Do you see yourself as a sensitive person? I'm extremely sensitive. Do you still leave/receive voicemails? Yes. Are you a festive person? Do you enjoy holidays? I'm not very festive, no. The only holidays that really excite me are Halloween and Christmas. What is your favorite subject to learn about? Meerkats. You’re feeling down - do you listen to sad music or happy? Sad. It usually comforts me/makes me feel less alone. Even though I might cry. Is there a song or artist that you secretly enjoy, but don’t want to enjoy? I like a decent number of Blood On The Dancefloor songs. Has your parents' taste in music in any way affected what you like? Yes. When I started getting into rock naturally, I began listening to my mom's CDs, and that's when metal stole my heart. You’re looking for some new music - what’s your preferred way to discover? YouTube recommendations. Do you still own any CD’s/records/tapes? Mom has CDs. She may or may not have tapes from when my sisters and I were really young for memory's sake; we had a lot of kid ones, like Raffi. Do you ever hear a new song on TV that you like and find it? When I watched TV, yeah, rarely. Do you watch the news? No. What about the weather channel? No. What’s your favorite holiday movie? Maybe Hocus Pocus. How do you feel about adult cartoons? I don't have an opinion. Do you still watch shows that you grew up watching? No. What about movies that you grew up with? Yeah. Do you identify with any organized religion? No. If so - is it how you were raised, or have you found your own? I was raised Catholic, grew to simply a Christian, then left that behind a year or more ago. Have you ever protested or been on strike? Does not eating at Chick-fil-a count as some kind of "protest?" That place was hard to let go of, but nah man, I'm not supporting your business when your higher-ups contribute to anti-LGBT efforts and such. Is gun control necessary or no? Some degree of control absolutely is. Are you happy with the political state where you reside? HAHA no. Should abstinence or sex education be taught in schools? Education, but I do believe in heavily advising smart sexual decisions such as not just doing it with just anyone. Have you read the book 13 Reasons Why or watched the show? I read the book. Should shows like this be available to everyone or could it be a trigger? Fuck the show. Do you like animals? Of course. What is your absolute favorite food? Probably pizza. Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? You don't know the half of it. I literally cried the first and last day of my last job because I couldn't find the gloves when I needed to. So yeah, I take meds, but I don't think either do very much, honestly. Who was the last person you felt you were wasting your time on? A former best friend. I cared when she didn't. One thing you’ve experienced that you thought you never would have? I never in a million years thought I was going to have a bad - traumatic - breakup when I was kid because I "knew who to pick." I was so sure. What was the last thing someone said to you that kept repeating over & over in your head? The guy who helped in basic training with me saying "well that was a waste of my time" when my co-worker told him what was going on with me. Literally, it won't get out of my head. If a random person were to look through the photos on your phone, is there anything you’d be embarrassed about? lmao I have Mark wallpapers stored, my friend. Don't find my collection. How often do you have late nights out? Never. Ever. Do you currently have any mixed feelings about someone? As far as friendships go, yes. If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? No no no no no. I want a job to get OUT of my house. I know I'd be less productive, too. What were you like in middle school? Weird and probably annoying. If you could give one charity a million dollars, what charity would you donate money to? I'm not sure. I'd have to look more into ones with causes I'm passionate about. Most likely something about conservation. Would you ever be an organ donor? I am. Which do you think is harder: realizing you haven’t changed or realizing you have? The former. Is there something that you really need to do, but can’t seem to get motivated to do it? Plenty of things. Have you ever won some sort of prize or prize package from a contest? What did you win? Yeah, a few. I don't remember most; I only really remember the Silent Hill one I've mentioned before. What is something you’re surprised hasn’t been invented yet? A cure for cancer, I guess? I dunno. Most disturbing movie you have ever seen? Probably The Entity. Has a life goal or dream ever come true for you yet? If yes, what is it? If no, do you think you’ll achieve it? lol by golly do I wish. I don't fucking know if I'll achieve any. What one thing has always bothered you, but seems to bother no one else? I get legitimately bothered by people going in/out the wrong door. Do you still own a VCR and VHS tapes? No. What’s your favorite color gummy bear? I don't care. What is the sexiest part of the opposite sex’s body? Shoulder blades why do I love shoulder blades????? Where do you sing the most, in the car or the shower? I dunno. Ever hurt yourself playing Wii? Probably. Do you have freckles? Not on my face. I did as a kid though. Weird. How many languages can you say “Hello” in? Three. What’s the last video game you played? So not computer? I believe... The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon? Or Shadow of the Colossus. I don't remember. Can you do the alphabet in sign language? No. Do you like your feet? I don't like feet to begin with, and I don't like mine. My feet are so dry and callused to HELL from when I used to walk all the time. I need to see a doctor to get rid of the worst ones on my toes honestly because they annoy the fuck out of me because ugly. Candles or incense? Incense. Reason behind the last time you laughed until you cried? I don't remember. Are you one who brags a lot? I don't have anything to brag about. Do you face your problems head on or do you run away from them? Depends on the problem, I guess... What is the latest you’ve stayed out before? I remember there was one night in particular with Jason where he dropped me off like... really late. Around 3 or later in the morning. I don't remember why I got home so late. Are you confrontational? AVOID! AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!! COSTS! Do you stand your ground? Usually. Who do you know without a doubt cares about you? Mom, Sara, and Dad. Have you ever caught yourself talking in your sleep? For the past year and more, I've started sleep talking frequently... and yeah, I've woken up in the middle of doing it plenty of times. Did you do anything stupid/anything you regret today? I probably do something stupid every day. Little things like procrastinate on everything are certainties. Have you ever switched primary care doctors? Do not. Get me FUCKING started. On the doctor who kept me on a medication that resulted in gaining like 150 pounds and blaming it all on me. Yeah, I switched. If yes, what was the reason? lol see above. Do you ever sleep on your bedroom floor just for fun? God no. Sleeping on the floor is a last resort. Are you worried about your current financial situation? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Do you know anyone who’s had a stillbirth? Probably. Who was the last person you know (or that you know of) that died? Uhhh I'm not sure. Possibly the old lady Mom watched. Do you need a new phone? Desperately. Would you rather get a big tattoo or small tattoo? A big one. Do you identify as a supernatural being..i.e., unicorn, alien, goddess…? Uh no. What’s one thing you are tired of seeing or hearing about on Facebook? Guys I don't understand the "me and the boys" meme laskdfjalwier make it go away. What theme do you want for your wedding? Halloween-ish. What theme would you choose for a baby’s nursery? Idk. I don't want kids, so this isn't something I think about. What color would you paint a baby girl’s nursery? Pastel pink. Not for stereotypical reasons, my favorite color just happens to be pink and I think it's cute for a baby. Does your first crush know that he/she was your first crush? No. Which family member did you get your height from? Mom and I are pretty much the same height. Do you like your butt? NO I have a pancake ass. Who was the last friend of yours to have a baby, and what’s the baby’s name? An old high school friend recently had a baby named Jaspen. Are all of your friends having babies right now? I think most of my old friends have at least one kid by now. Do you know anyone who’s given birth to twins? Yes. Growing up, did you listen to country music? Yes, when my older sister started controlling the radio. Do you have a gazebo at your house? No. Where were you going the first time you rode a plane? Ohio or Michigan. Do you like tomatoes? Not really, no. The only time I ever have was fresh ones with bacon and light mayo on a sandwich. What’s your favorite brand of bottled water? Essentia. Do you have any ceramic animals in your house or outside? Why is there a small dolphin in the corner of our back yard?????? What annoys you more: slow talkers or slow walkers? Slow walkers. Have you ever been to a night club? No. If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Something about being prone to anxiety, I guess. Do you believe in reincarnation? No. Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? Not in the slightest. What is your MBTI personality type? INFP Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? No. Is the ocean or sky prettier? Sky. Are you androgynous? No. Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? No. Well I kiss my niece's and nephew's cheeks when telling them bye, but they're the only ones. What is the youngest age you can remember back to? I have at least one memory from when I was two. Did you wear your hair in a ponytail today? It's too short for that. What job would you NEVER take, even as a last resort? Slaughterhouse worker was the first thing to come to mind. If you broke your computer, would you be able to fix it on your own? No. What was the shittiest hotel you’ve ever stayed at and why? I don't think I've stayed in a bad one... What was the first kind of alcohol you ever tasted? A daiquiri. Do you use any styling products on your hair? No. Do you have a favorite local band? Who are they? No. What’s the most confusing book you ever read? Even though it's my favorite book, Johnny Got His Gun takes the cake here. The way it's written is very confusing, though I think I get why Trumbo chose such a style. Do you like your personality? I like some things, hate others. Are your legs long or short? I'd say they're proportional to the rest of my body. How many phobias do you have? A lot. Where do you think your last ex is right now? He's probably sleeping since he works 3rd shift. What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve seen in the last week? I don't know. Probably the sky during a car ride or something. Who was the last person to comfort you as you cried? My mom. When was the last time you felt like throwing up? A week ago or so when I had an anxiety attack the night before my first day of work. I got myself so worked up. Have you ever had to wear a hairnet? For the two fucking hours I lasted at my last job lmao. Do you use the Facebook chat often? No. Do you own a robe? What color is it? Nope. Who ended your last relationship? Me. Do you still remember your first kiss? Yeah. Are you happy with where you are relationship-wise now? Yeah, other than being long-distance. How many kids do you want to have? None. Have you ever purposely given someone the wrong number? No. Who’s the last person you smoked weed with? I haven't. Though by this point in my life, I wish NC would catch up with the times and legalize it medicinally because I've given up enough to turn to that for my anxiety. Who was the last person you talked to, other than family? My old VR coach. When was the last time you flew in a plane? Last December. Is there a girl you absolutely can not stand? No. At least not off the top of my head. Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? No, I was that person lmao. Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? Yes. Say your last ex walks up to you and hugs you, what do you say? We're still friends, so. At the current time, a random hug from him would probably make me cry though because he's not very affectionate and I haven't been stable for days. I need the comfort alsdjfakljwer Who was the last baby you held? It's probably been like a year since I've held a baby when I was still friends with Colleen. But y'all my sister is pregnant & next year GUESS WHO I'M HOLDING. Do you have any siblings that moved away to college? She did, but she's long since graduated. Who was the last person who cried around you? I'm sure it was Mom. What was the last thing you cried about? My life. Who’s the last guy to give you roses? Tyler. Would you rather have nice eyes or nice lips/smile? Smile, I suppose. Do you have a common first name? Yes. Do you like your middle name or your first name more? My first, I guess. Do you wear more rings or necklaces? I always have a ring on. Have you ever been engaged? No. Can you see your veins through your skin? In some areas. Did your parents let you have pets when you were a kid? Yes. Do you like spicy chips? Yes. What band was on the last band t-shirt you wore? Metallica. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Yes. Have you ever owned or known someone who owned a black cat? Both. Who scheduled your last doctor visit? My mom. I don't drive, so she drives me around, and so things have to fit into her busy schedule. So she just does it. Do you have any holiday themed socks? True shit, I think most of mine are, lmao... Like you know, socks are a common gift on Christmas. What’s the last funny movie you watched? Idr. Can you remember your parents’ birthdays? Yes. What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? I'd say it depends on the person, but in general, I suppose snakebites? What brand of hair dye do you prefer to use? Splat is the only brand that has ever stuck to my hair. Lasted months. Did/do you ride the bus to and from school? Only Jason's junior and senior years sometimes to go to his house. Are you any good at applying make up? No. I have tremors in my hands, and it makes it an absolute nightmare. Are you someone who likes to make simple things difficult? I certainly don't try to, but I somehow always end up doing it. What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food? Rolls and honey ham. And that is /literally/ it. I don't like Thanksgiving food. Do you like Techno music? Yeah. Is your second toe longer than your big toe? They're like the exact same length. Do you say "merry Christmas" or "happy holidays?" The former. Who do you talk to on the phone most often? Mom. What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to? I've only ever been to Alice Cooper, but it was great. I'm supposed to be seeing Ozzy plus supposedly Judas Priest and Megadeth (you're not allowed to die, Dave) next year, and that. That will be. My preview into Heaven. I will sob. How did you meet your best friend? Over YouTube via the meerkat RP community. Do you need money to be happy? Try living really poor and come back to me claiming money can't ever buy happiness. What is something you do well? Dig way, way too deep into absolutely anything and everything. What’s a good idea you’ve had recently? I've started to count calories on top of fasting. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Ahhhhh, cinnamon rolls. How far in advance do you prefer to plan? For most things, a few days or a week. Bigger things, maybe like a month+? How many slices of pizza do you usually eat? 2-3, depending on my appetite. Would you like to live in a different country? If so which one? I wouldn't move there, not with all my family and such here, but I think living in Canada would be better sometimes. Do you prefer the aisle, middle, or window seat on a plane? I strongly prefer the window seat; I've found that if I'm not looking out the window and the plane changes altitude or direction (takeoff is the worst), I get VERY dizzy. I usually always wind up in the middle seat, and there and in the aisle seat, I have to close my eyes at times like those. What’s your favorite song from a movie? As far as original songs, probably "Be Prepared" from The Lion King. A goddamn beat. What’s your favorite city? I haven't been to many. Idk. Who was the last person to ask you to hang out? Did you agree to hang out with them? Hell, I have no idea. Is there a food that you eat basically every day? What food is that? I usually have a granola bar as a snack or even just a meal in place of breakfast or lunch. Is there a food you eat that others find weird or gross? I grew up sometimes eating waffles with peanut butter and syrup as Dad loved it. It's definitely different, but it's absolutely delicious. What was the last fast food restaurant you went to? Did you get anything? If so, what? I think Sonic? I got a double bacon cheeseburger. I fell in love with their burgers. Can you remember the first video game you ever played? What about your first video gaming system? I'm not sure, but it was probably Spyro The Dragon. My first gaming system was a PS1. The last video game you played - did you play alone or with someone else? Alone. If there is a disc in your computer, what disc is it? There isn't one. Do you shut down your computer every time after you use it, or do you leave it on? I leave it on. Do you know anyone who has ever been in a movie? Who and what movie were they in? What was their part? No. Describe the last shirt you saw that you really liked. Where did you see it? Omg I saw this shirt online of a really cool demonic pig that said something like "Save the animals, eat humans." It was actually a vegan shirt, but I nevertheless wanted it, lol. I support veganism, but yeah... I could never do it. But anyway, it was too expensive. Do you live in a very diverse community? Not really, no. Do you know anyone who has had salmonella? Did you ever have it yourself? What about e-coli? No; no; no. When was the last time you brought a pet to the vet? What was wrong with it? Sigh. We put Cali down. Something ruptured in her abdomen and there was also a mass on her liver or gallbladder, and her abdomen was filling with blood. It compressed her lungs so much she could barely breathe. Surgery was extremely expensive, but more importantly, we were told it likely wouldn't save her. Do you get motion sick easily? If so, does it prevent you from going on any rides at amusement parks? I've never gotten motion sickness, but I don't risk that shit with amusement park rides or boats out at sea. I'm terrified of vomiting. Do you have any bug bites on you right now? If so, where? No. Have you ever made your way through a corn maze? No. Name something that you used to do with your family that you no longer do with them or at all? Easter egg painting. Have you seen Inception yet? Thoughts on that movie? I never saw it.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

3 notes · View notes

meganspoetry · 6 years

Note

lol why do you have Christianity as a trigger warning?? or trigger warnings in general? this account would be so much better if it wasn't SJW central kek. all this feminazi and faggot shit lowers the quality of all your other, actually decent poetry

This is quite a lot so I’ll deal with it one ignorant, narrow-minded, offensive comment complaint at a time.

Why I have trigger warnings in general is, simply, because we can’t extend the basic human decency and social skills that we do in real life, online. You’d never ask a war veteran with PTSD what it looks like to see someone shot in the face, and you’d never give a detailed account of rape or sexual harassment to a traumatized victim. At least, I hope you’d never do that. I certainly wouldn’t. But online, I’m not having a one-to-one conversation with someone. I’m posting something, putting it onto the Internet, and then, anybody can see it - including that veteran or victim. Adding trigger warnings onto my posts means that I allow people to safeguard against things that can trigger them into panic attacks, self-harm or other symptoms that I’d never purposely induce on anybody. (As a reminder, if you follow me and have a trigger, you’re welcome to send it. Even if you think it has no relevance whatsoever to anything, poetry can take you into some very weird places and I really don’t want to give anyone a panic attack over an out-there metaphor).

As for why I tag Christianity (and religion) specifically, is because unfortunately, in our world, religion can be triggering to people. There are people out there who do hideous things in the name of religion, and that can have lasting imprints on people. Just as I explained before, if someone grew up in an abusive religious household and it’s impacted them to the point where it has affected them, I wouldn’t consistently bring it up knowing that it would hurt them. If your question is why I don’t tag a trigger warning for, let’s say, Islam, or Hinduism, it’s because I’m not a Muslim or a Hindu. I’m a Christian, and so some of my poetry is Christian, and none of it is about any other religion. And therefore I tag it as such.

As for your lovely remarks on my account being ‘SJW central’ and having ‘feminazi and f//ggot shit’ and how it apparently ‘lowers the quality’ of my other poetry, please disinfect your thought process. I’m perplexed as to how a separate poem could diminish the quality of another, but more importantly, I write about what I feel, and a lot of what I feel is anger at the current state of the world. Homophobia and sexism are serious issues and I have a lot of feelings about them - feelings which I express through my work. I’m gathering you’re not the most socially conscientious person, so I encourage that you read as much of my poetry as possible and hopefully become more educated with it. Or just go read an activism blog, which is probably a more to-the-point way of doing it. If you’re not interested in bettering yourself, then you’re welcome to block tags such as ‘feminism’, ‘lgbtpride’ etc. etc. so you don’t have to see them.

As this is altogether a profoundly negative experience, I’m going to take the time to thank you on your comment that some of my poetry, at least, is ‘decent.’ It’s a bit of a wilted comment in a field of hate, but, not every cloud has a silver lining, so I’m going to appreciate this one. Lastly, if anybody out there has hate comments they’d like to send, why don’t you come out and say them with some conviction? Instead of hiding behind the anonymous feature, why don’t you let everyone see who you are? Hint: if you’re ashamed to publicly say it, you probably shouldn’t.

P.S; it’s actually not a large percentage of my poetry that’s dedicated to social justice. I have some, sure, but I wouldn’t think enough to warrant an ask?

#ask #request #trigger warnings #trigger warning #triggers #trigger #sjw #feminazi #use of 'feminazi #use of the f slur #tw: faggot #not poetry/

2 notes · View notes

thatweirdmod · 3 years

Text

Windowless Moviemaker Chapter 6: Race

Windowless Moviemaker

Chapter 6: Race

Kidney turns and leaves me sitting against the wall-- speechless.

My eyes slowly move over to Mitchol, whose slouching form is now cast in darkness by Kidney's shadow. I think, hollowly, that the blood drying on his face probably itches a little. Mitchol manages a small squirm in his ropes.

"Well?" Kidney demands irritably.

Mitchol's swelling, battered face jerks up to attention at Kidney. "W-what?" He dares to ask.

"You're up. Give me a plan."

"Oh," Mitchol says. "Er, I just expected-"

"Is there something you don't understand about your situation?" Kidney interrupts. "You don't get to expect anything. Now, the plan."

"Uh, well, I guess we need to get to their computers somehow. They probably ripped DVDs too. Redhand's a little old fashioned. We might also have to look out for tapes..."

Kidney crosses his arms, scowling. "If I kill these guys, then wipe their houses, am I gonna have to worry that I missed a spot because you couldn't point me in the right direction?"

Mitchol attempts to splay his hands. "Look, I know where my stuff is, but how am I supposed to know exactly where their stuff is?"

Kidney chews at the inside of his cheek angrily and walks over to the table to grab a notebook and pen. "Let's just start with addresses," he says, poising to write. "Redhand."

"He lives up in Tindle in those stained up white apartments. Er, I think the number's 46."

"Costriel." Kidney demands, looking up from his scribbling.

"He lives in an apartment too, and he's actually rooming with Nethandre." Mitchol says. "316, in the Fortitude Apartments."

Kidney nods his head.

"So, er," Mitchol begins. "What are you planning to do now that you know where these guys are?"

"You remember how I said you don't get to expect anything?" Kidney says patronizingly. "The same applies to asking. I, the one who is allowed to expect and ask, do not expect you to open your mouth unless I ask you something."

Mitchol swallows and shifts in his blood-stained bindings.

Then Kidney turns to one of the concrete walls, as if it called his name. He stands, staring at it silently, before asking another question.

"Did you... Did you give those videos to my uncle too?"

Mitchol's mouth quivers. "H-he, uh... he was the one who suggested that, you know, we needed some extra insurance on you in the first place. So yeah."

Kidney stands still, unanswering and unmoving, but I can see his jaw working slightly.

"But please!" Mitchol sputters. "Dude, I-I.. I totally forgot about that earlier-- when you asked who had the videos." His arms press up against the ropes, trying to shield his body. Kidney walks in front of him. "I wasn't holdin' out on purpose or anyth-" Mitchol is cut off by Kidney smacking him over the head with a closed palm.

"Just out of curiosity, Mitchol," Kidney says. "If I hadn't asked about Uncle Stoulfer just now, would you ever have "remembered" to tell me?"

"We-w-w-well I don't know." Mitchol trembles with his hands splayed open and his eyes wide. "Guess it's a good thing you jogged my memory man, ha..."

Kidney turns and paces slowly, shaking his head. "I never liked the way that old, crusty loaf looked at Krin, even at me. But for my own selfish reasons, I ignored it all this time." He scoffs lightly. "Just one more reason to be glad I'm out." He turns back and looks Mitchol dead in the face. "The blinders are off."

"So you're aaalll alone," I say from the corner.

Kidney's eyes shoot to me, surprised.

"What? You thought I'd be totally traumatized just from that?"

His gaze narrows hatefully.

"So some weird shit happened and you saw my dream. It prompted you to get the jump on us, but that was mostly luck. And that's probably as far as your luck will go in regards to picking useful kernels of information outta piles of brain vomit." I snort. "Even my thing was more useful, because I saw you in real time."

Kidney smiles. "Where did I see your dream?"

"Huh?"

"It was inside your mind. It had to have been, 'cause that's where they're all cooked up." Kidney says, tapping the side of his head. "The moon is almost full again. That has to count for something." He breathes in. "I can go further with this. But I'll make sure you stay at your current level. You'll be underground here where you can't touch the moonlight."

"You don't even know what the hell 'this' is." I say.

"Pretty smug talk for a guy who's about to lose everything," Kidney says, with his mouth turned upwards in a smirk that doesn't reach his stony eyes.

"What better time to be smug than when you're about to lose everything?"

His face contorts with all the nasty feelings that must be roiling around inside of him. "I told you I'd take everything from you, and this bullshit positive nihilism of yours will be one of the things. I'll make you understand how bad playing as the loser really is, even if the game has the same black ending for everyone."

He takes Mitchol's phone out of his pocket, then says, "Mitchol, you told me you could set Redhand up."

Mitchol breathes in. "Redhand's looking for a new place to do his snuff movies, so I'm thinking maybe I can tell him I found a good place, and you can catch him there?"

"Hmm," Kidney says, folding his arms. "Why does he happen to need a new location now?"

Mitchol explains, "He's been under some suspicion lately. His neighbors've been complaining about a smell, like rotten something, coming from his apartment."

I don't need to wonder what that smell could be. I watched a video where Redhand Heriolt cut a girl open with a sharpened can top. It'd probably taken a fair amount of practice to learn how to do, but he'd managed to keep his subject awake and alive while he pulled out part of her intestines, smeared the pungent brown contents over both of them, and pleasured himself.

I had thought, while clicking through Redhand's contributions, that cleaning up set after filming that kinda stuff would be way too much of a pain. Looks like Redhand thought so too. That filth and gore in the background really had been as caked-on as it looked.

Mitchol continues, "He even got, you know, reported to the cops 'cause someone heard screams. Redhand laughed it off, sayin' it was slasher flicks playing on the TV. They left after he promised to turn the volume down, and they never got a search warrant or nothin'. Still, better not push it, right?"

I nearly snort. Well no shit someone heard screams if he was doing that stuff in an apartment.

Kidney asks, "Where do you plan on telling him to go?"

Mitchol swallows weirdly, with something about him quivering. "That ghost town 40 minutes southeast of Grishee, the neighborhood has a bunch of abandoned old houses. I know a little white one has a basement too. I think I could convince him it's ideal."

A frown of skepticism sends Kidney's lips pointing downwards, but then he walks closer to Mitchol and loosens some of the bindings so he can move one of his hands. Just as soon, however, Kidney slips a pocket knife out of his back pocket and pops the blade out against Mitchol's neck.

Mitchol gasps sharply, but Kidney just places the previously confiscated cell phone into his newly freed hand. "Text him," Kidney says into Mitchol's ear, adjusting the angle of the knife. "Make it sound natural, and make sure he goes to that little white one."

Mitchol's throat bobs, as much of a nod as there was going to be. He goes to work on the keys:

"sup dood. te ghosted out hood in Caplum has som gud spots. white house wit te green dor has a cool basement."

And "SEND".

Kidney's mouth quirks to the side. "I know I said to make it natural, but are you sure he'll get that?"

Mitchol chokes, "Yeah, I mean, I text him like that often enough."

"I see," Kidney says. Then, the phone buzzes.

"R U THERE NOW?"

"Eh, what should I say?" Mitchol asks.

"If this is a test, you might not be able to answer follow-up questions confirming that you're there. You're at home, got it?"

"nah im chillin in my plce. u out?"

"NO. HOME RUBING1 IN BEEFSLAB+blood I BAWT.CANT HUNT BUT NEed it bad."

"lol. tis Caplum spot wil fix u up. no 1 evr gos der. wnna chekit out togetrr?? jst gimme a time bro."

"nightS YUNG.TERES TIME TO CATCHA WOMAN I LEAVE RN. BETHERE 1HR???"

"frige lvl cool dood XD"

"I didn't say you were supposed to go too," Kidney purrs lowly over Mitchols shoulder. "But, I suppose you can just be 'late.'"

He takes the phone out of Mitchol's hand and re-tightens the ropes. "I can handle Redhand Heriolt from here."

With that, he turns on his heels, clops up the concrete stairs, and leaves me and Mitchol to rot in the bunker.

I look at Mitchol. "Please tell me you just tricked him somehow," I say.

"Shh," Mitchol replies quietly.

A couple of little sparks flare up in my chest and head. If I had the energy, I'd click my tongue. Don't you shush me, bitch. I whispered anyway.

Black silence begins settling down between us, and I close my eyes. The concrete is hard against my body, and I can feel us becoming one via temperature as my warmth seeps away into its cold. I move my lips, and a barely audible, hoarse series of whispers spills from them.

"Mother Earth, Mother Earth, once again to us give birth."

Suddenly, a violent roiling upheaves my stomach, like Poseidon's stormy fist punching the sea in wrath and sending the waters booming and swashing. I projectile vomit all over myself and the floor. The deja vu from my dream hits me first, and then the disgust and embarrassment of real life.

Mitchol jumps, as much as he can tied up anyway. His face is tense with that look of distubia, shock, fear, and concern that I hate directed

at me. "Wha.. are you okay man?"

A suck in a stinging, bile stained breath and respond to him in stench coated words. "No. Fuck... we just... we need to get the fuck out of here."

I lick my lips, and regret pools inside my mouth as my tongue pulls foul bits and cooling, sour fluid back into it.

There's a book of religion that says god will not be mocked and is not to be tested. I suppose I couldn't rightly be of the wombs and births of two different mothers at my own convenience. I never considered myself a man of faith, but this stuff I've been touching-- it seems to be some part of a sprawling realm beyond scientific knowledge.

I look down at myself. The sight of me must be making Mitchol sick, but since I'm already like this... I allow the muscles in my bowels to unfurl like a relaxing kitty, and warm liquid soon soaks my jeans and forms a pool around me.

Yep, this is one thing they don't tell you, at least not often, about being kidnapped. I was living freely up until however many hours ago I was taken, and that meant that I drank coffee and expected to be able to reach a toilet when it made its way through me.

I sigh, and lean over to inhale the merging smells that had all been inside my body. Amazing, how humans are all so disgusting inside, but we act as if we're clean until it comes out. I don't bother to look up at my roommate as I contemplate going number two.

But then I catch my reflection in the puddle of urine, and decide that I have to cancel my reservations with Mr. Brown, because the Train of Thought just arrived, and it only stops at the station for 3 seconds.

The first thing I thought, or perhaps, was told, about Mother Moon was that she was a relayer of the sun's message. And gods... gods... I was just thinking about them. But what do I do about them-- what do humans do about gods? They... sacrifice and serve. Blood, lives... offerings.

"Angel of The Great Star, to you, I unbar. Birth me into the spacial assemblage. Through me, relay the message," I say.

Mitchol again looks at me like I'm insane. Indeed, I've done it incorrectly. If her light cannot touch me, it is pointless. I take in a deep breath, and begin fighting against the ropes around my body harder than I ever fought before. Just a bit, perhaps they're loosening.

If I can just get out of these, I might be able to find a way to force the bunker door open and get outside. And if Mother Moon accepts me, I will be raised above Earth and the Earthlings. I will be 3rd, and they will all be 4th.

In the clearing outside the bunker, Kidney faces the moon and spreads out his arms, letting the glow bathe his body. This pale light can be so many things: ethereal, comforting, serene, eerie... He'd never questioned whose mood it really depended on until recently.

"Mother Moon, Mother Moon..." Kidney trails off, his eyes closed in concentration. But concentration isn't quite right. The chant... the feeling isn't coming over him.

"Mother Moon." He says, more of a plain address than a mystical prayer. "I can see you here tonight, as always. Does it not please you to commune with me right now?"

Gazing up at the white ball suspended in the infinite black cosmos, he ever so slightly feels her grow closer for a moment. However, she remains silent and far.

"On your own terms, Mother Moon." Kidney submits, inclining his head in reverence. Despite everything that has happened, he still feels a little crazy as he walks back to his rental car. He might fit the definition of "lunatic" now.

Kidney drives down the rural road to Caplum. Thousands of spindly, bent trees slash endless shadows through the yellow glow from his headlights. If he were taking the Passage to Hell of the South and met Satan at the end, it might not surprise him. Fitting though, that such a road would be irritatingly monotonous. Bored despite his mission, he flips the radio on.

Unintelligible words and tunes grate through static on most of the channels. Then there's the twang of guitar and a longing voice that reminds Kidney of grass fields swaying under a golden sunset in the middle of a heaven set in nowhere. He never did like country music, so he twists the knob one more click.

A bold, smooth, male voice butters the speakers. "The quiet neighborhood of Green Shade has been shaken by the story of a local housewife. According to her, she was drugged and kidnapped from her home by two masked men, who broke in late at night."

Kidney's heart lurches inside of his torso, along with the food in his stomach. He gags, swerving into the wrong lane for a second. After everything they-- Jeeto-- had told her, Mrs. Horatay was still talking?

The deep voice coming through the speakers crinkles with static. "...underground bunker. They then proceeded to film themselves sexually and physically assaulting her. The woman reports that at various points during the hours-long ordeal, both of her assailants lifted the masks away from their mouths and exposed the bottom portions of their faces."

Kidney's head swims with nausea. He never saw so much as a coin for getting that damnable spasm closeup. The footage of the actual stimulation was cut, he was sure. He'd been the one to edit Mrs. Horatay's movie. But somehow it had escaped his mind that Mrs. Horatay could be looking down, drawing a sketch in her mind for the cops.

"Both attackers appeared to be young males, in their late teens or early twenties. She describes them to be of average height, the shorter of the two having a round face and lightly tanned complexion, while the taller male's face was square shaped. She noted no hair or distinguishing blemishes on either of their faces, however..."

Kidney's hands tremble on the steering wheel, but he forces himself to focus on driving. "Relax. There's gotta be a hundred guys that fit those descriptions around here," he mutters to himself.

After a small eternity, Kidney spots a sign that humanity had come here ahead of him. "SPEED LIMIT 45" in faded black over rusted white. He slows down, guides his rental car into the overgrown brush on the side of the road, then takes the key out of the ignition.

With the engine dead, it's so quiet out here. Kidney pulls on his new black burglar's mask before getting out, just in case. He gently pushes the door closed behind himself, then goes around to the trunk.

A bag of supplies he packed from Jeeto's house is inside, and he unzips it and pockets from it a syringe of animal tranquilizer and a switchblade. The weapon he chooses to keep equipped in hand, however, is the 16-inch machete he brought himself.

Kidney begins his stalk up the road. Even in this dark place with the shadows of the bushes staring at his exposed back, he can feel Mother Moon's light clothing him and guiding his footsteps. Krin's innocently smiling face in the sunset of his room... such a distant memory kept so close to his heart. He clenches the hilt of his machete. He will not be afraid.

Mother Moon's warmth and comfort begins to seep all through him, and he senses her closer than before. The neighborhood comes into view. So he stays low and hidden as he makes his way to the west-most side where that white house is supposed to be. He sees the car before the house. It's a van that only breaks creep convention for its having a green paintjob instead of a white one.

Suddenly, a something like a living memory possesses his mind, only, something is not right. He finds himself looking at himself from behind, his black, hooded form crouching down behind bushes. One of his meaty arms is outstretched, and the hand is holding something, shiny, cold, and heavy. It's a gun-- pointing.

The head that he has an intimate awareness of, but not a oneness with, turns furthur downward without command. He sees white hairs in the bottom of his vision, and the stomach below protrudes too far forward. It is covered with a green Hawaiian shirt.

Kidney gasps, and seems to be sucked back into his own mind again. "Stoulfer," he breathes. Instinctively, Kidney whirls around on his ankles and spins up from the ground. The blast of the bullet rings the air, and Kidney feels it whip past his head and break through the dry shubbery behind him.

The moonlight makes depthless pits of the bags under Uncle Stoulfer's eyes, and carves darkness into every wrinkle and pockmark on his skin. The hairs of his white mustache and goatee twitch.

The old man's deep, raspy laugh mocks him. "I always knew you'd end up givin' me trouble."

Kidney runs for one of the houses. He can hear the many voices of his uncle's mind echoing. The thoughts are so muddled, though, and examined all at once, they're like a wild drove. Irritation. Lust. Smugness.

But the foremost thoughts-- those are the thoughts of action. That is where Kidney puts his focus. The gun fires again, but Kidney knows where it has made its path, and dashes out of its aim just as the trigger is being pulled.

"Shit! Pretty quick on his toes," Kidney hears.

"Got lucky there," Uncle Stoulfer hollers.

Kidney crashes through the rotting, wooden front door of a house, and runs into a bedroom in the back. He stands to the side of the doorway and listens to the floorboards at the entrance creak. Inside, Stoulfer's thoughts sound like mumbling, for only weak, pale streaks of moonlight penetrate the dark building through broken windows and cracked roofing.

Kidney can sense with the stronger rays of light touch the old man's balding head, because those are the moments he can hear more clearly.

Uncle Stoulfer plans to check behind the kitchen counters first, then... Kidney clenches the machete handle and raises the weapon. When Stoulfer comes here, he will strike.

#criminal #fantasy #disturbing #gross

0 notes

frankie2902 · 6 years

Note

1-45 for the ask I want to know all^^

Oh wow Anon, you sure do want to know it all! I’ll do my best for you and I’m sorry that I got to this so late!! hopefully you see it!

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? Ashes by Celine Dion from the new deadpool movie coming out, She Loves Control by Camila , Mi Gente by Beyonce and others, Move Like you Stole It ZZ Ward, In My Blood by Shawn Mendez, E.T. by Katy Perry.

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Stan Lee, that or my all time answer despite this questions wording of on this earth, Steve Irwin. He’s a huge inspiration for me.

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. This actually prompted me to pick up an old journal of my moms and this is part of a poem she wrote in 1986 about Desire, ‘Yet what is to be found at the end of this journey has yet to be revealed’ Time to talk to my mother about our same love of writing as it seems apparent lol

4: What do you think about most? honestly I think mostly about my novels, scenes, dialogue, theme songs, character bios. My writing is as vital to my survival as the air I breathe.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? “Better yet I’ll be there at 2:30 forgot it was at 3lol”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? I always sleep with at least a shirt on, just in case someone has to come in and talk to me.

7:What’s your strangest talent? My strangest talent? I’d have to say that it’d be that I can make my eyes wiggle back and forth really really fast, or that I can crack every joint I have, or that I’m double jointed but I don’t know if those are talents… I sure have a talent for rambling huh??

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls are beautiful. Boys are beautiful too. ((I had no idea what to say lol))

9:Ever had a poem or song written about you? YES!! My little brother is a violinist and he composed a song for me named ‘The Dragons Journey’ because I love dragons, I got him to love dragons and I was then living out of state for college.

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? the last time I listened to music which is like, now lol

11: Do you have any strange phobias? Bees. Definitely Bees.

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? Nope, Not that I’ve been told or that I remember doing.

13: What’s your religion? I don’t like labels for my faith, I’ve been told I’m an Omnist.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? I’m most likely on the school playground with my students or hanging out with my friends in my free time.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? I have no preference, I just love making memories.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? hmm, well shit… Gotta say sugarland.

17: What was the last lie you told? I make it a point not to lie unless totally necessary so my last lie? “I did it, I’m sorry”

18: Do you believe in karma? oh heck yes, you get whats comin to you in the end so best be as kind and wonderful to others as you want them to be to you.

19: What does your URL mean? My URL is just my nickname and four random numbers I made up in middle school lol

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? I’d say my greatest weakness is second guessing if I deserve to be happy or if I’ve earned the right to have such wonderful friends and an even better Lover and friend. My greatest Strength? I’d say thats my determination and perseverance to get through tough times and get out feeling like it didn’t take much. basically my stubbornness lol

21: Who is your celebrity crush? My celebrity crush, Male, Dwayne The Rock Johnson or Tom Holland, Female? Halsey, Gal Gadot or Lilly Singh.

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Yes and I got caught with my dumb luck -.- Moving along!!

23: How do you vent your anger? I vent my anger by singing, belting out my favorite songs and letting myself cry and then writing angst, violence, tragedy and gore.

24: Do you have a collection of anything? Movies, Manga, Anime, Books 250+ and still going!

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? I honestly hate both of those due to my anxiety unless I know the people very well though the people who know me very well know that I don’t like it sooooo… but if I had to pick it’d be talking on the phone.

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? I’m incredibly happy and proud of the person I’ve become, I’ve been through many traumatic things but I’m most proud that I can still smile and be positive.

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? I hate the sound of people chewing with their damn mouth open, I never think of murder more than when I hear it. I love the sound of wind through the trees, a little creek with water rushing over a shallow bed of pebbles, birds chirping faintly in the background, rain pouring down on the ground. I adore it more than words can say.

28: What’s your biggest “what if”? My biggest what if? what if i’m actually insane and people just don’t tell me

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Oh I absolutely believe in ghosts, I have had paranormal experiences in EVERY SINGLE house I have ever lived in so it’d be weird if I didn’t believe along with my own sensitivity to it. the universe is infinite, we have no idea how far it goes of course theres a chance of other life being out there, maybe we’re just out of reach.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. To my right, my bag that reads “If you were in my novel I would have killed you off already” To my left, my mothers winnie the pooh hat box.

31: Smell the air. What do you smell? I smell baby powder very very faintly, very odd but I do work in a daycare soo.

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? The dentist. I hate it.

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? Gotta say west coast, just a lot more fun things going on that direction.

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Dwayne the Rock Johnson, yes he sings he was in a disney movie.

35: To you, what is the meaning of life? the meaning of love is caring more for another being than you do for yourself while also loving yourself.

36: Define Art. Art is expression of self and of your emotions in a way that you learn more about yourself and if you want too, teach others.

37: Do you believe in luck? heck yes I do, it goes hand in hand with Karma!

38: What’s the weather like right now? It’s a good hot day but cooling off, skies are overcast and I’m hoping it rains tonight.

39: What time is it? 7:22 pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? I do drive! and yes I have crashed and totaled a car.

41: What was the last book you read? Born at Midnight by C.C. Hunter

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? its not a bad smell but as a cook I’ve learned to not really appreciate its presence.

43: Do you have any nicknames? I do! Frankie, Missy, Frank, Frankenstein, Frances, B, Fred. Lots!

44: What was the last film you saw? RAMPAGE, which I already pre-ordered on amazon because I’m a ho for funny movies with The Rock and adorable animal companions.

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? the worst injury I’ve ever had, I’ve had my ribs popped out of place.

#ask me questions #ask me anything #ask #asks #thanks everyone for the follows and asks ♥#ask me tuesday

1 note · View note

wolfhourr · 7 years

Text

100 questions

I was bored af and tried to do these questions.

1. Is a kiss considered cheating? ya.

2. Have you ever faked an orgasm? Not one I could think of

3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? probably flying

4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? hopefullyyyyy

5. Tell us some funny drunk story. Oh my god I know so many but a bunch of friends and I were celebrating midsummer and we had this wooden cross which we’d decorate with branches and flowers and one of my friends (he’s got long wavy hair) stole my flower crown and carried that cross halfway home through half of the town we live in and it was like half past 1 in the morning and the people on the streets were shouting ‘oh my god it’s Jesus’ all the time and that was freaking hilarious

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex? long distance isn’t cool

7. If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? I don’t think of shit like this often but I’d like to have it quick and simple

8: What are your current goals? becoming a pro in photography (concerts mainly) and drone videography (basically shooting aerial footage for music videos and movies, that would be the most rad thing)

9. Do you like someone? I actually like a lot of people

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you? ugh, there are a few people who do that frequently but mostly band members

11. Do you like your body? parts.

12. Can you keep a diet? Nope I’m pretty weak regarding food

13. If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? Stop fucking killing each other and try to love everyone regardless of their origin or religion or sexuality or views

14. Do you work? I study Scandinavian Studies but I’ll be working as an aupair in Finland starting in August 2017

15. If you could choose only one food to eat for the rest of you life, what would it be? This is the toughest freaking question anyone has ever asked

16. Would you get a tattoo? I actually have 5

17. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? concerts, cameras, things that make me genuinely happy

18. Can you drive? what? A car? A person insane? Like a fucking champ

19. When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful? my best friend aka Julienne that gorgeous shining bean

20. What was the last thing you cried for? my dad being my dad

21. Do you keep a journal? I have a scrapbook where I put random little things like receipts from vacations or stuff like that in and I also print out mini photos for it

22. Is life fun? What kind of question is this? Life’s an up and down

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant? as long as they don’t hear it and you can smell it away

24. What’s your dream car? VW Golf R in metallic dark blue

25. Are grades in school important? As long as you don’t fail the class entirely or get kicked out of school it’s fine. Grades are so fucking overrated these days

26. Describe your crush. Ahahahaha he’s suuuuch a dork, especially whenever he’s drunk haha no but seriously he’s a dork and he get’s pretty touchy then

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? uhh, can’t rememberrrr

28. What was your last lie? I really don’t lie often but maybe I said I wasn’t feeling well just to avoid going out with some friends

29. Dumbest lie you ever told? I think there are a lot of dumb things I told so I can’t really think of one specifically right now

30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing? depends on the people but generally yes even though it shouldn’t be

31. Something you did and you are proud of? my photographs of band members

32. Favorite cocktail? Not tasted all of em but I love Mojitos

33. Something you are good at? sleeping, eating, taking photos, being dumb

34. Do you like small kids? depends on the kids

35. How are you feeling right now? stuffed with lunch and tired but generally fine because life’s good

36. What would you name your daughter/son? daughter: Ebba son: Heinz-Ewald!

37. What do you need to be happy? music, positive vibes and photography

38. Is there someone you want to punch in the face right now? I’m a very non-violent person so nope.. maybe Trump tho

39. What was the last gift you received? my grandma bought me a new handbag yesterday and it’s fabulous

40. What was the last gift you gave? frozen flavoured water to my beloved Fachschaft

41. What was the last concert you went to? A Finnish band called ‘Wake The Nations’, I had the pleasure to take pics for them there hehe

42. Favorite place to shop at? C&A, H&M

43. Who inspires you? Sawyer Hartmann & Logan Henderson, actually a lot more human beings

44. How old were you when you first got drunk? I’m pretty good with alcohol so I have to drink a ton to get drunk and I’m a poor student so basically I was 20 (and I still am 20 lol)

45. How old were you when you first got high? never got there

46. How old were you when you first had sex? never got there either

47. When was your first kiss? 2013 lol

48. Something you want to do until the end of this year? staying in Finland haha

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? A lot of embarrassing things honestly

50. Post a selfie there are photos of me on this blog come on

51. Who are you most comfortable around? my best friends of course!

52. Name one thing that terrifies you. insects

53. What kind of books do you read? none honestly

54. What would you tell your 12 year old self? “Nick Jonas won’t marry you and never fall for boys, they won’t value your good heart”

55. What is your favorite flower? white roses

56. Any bad habits you have? I have many, can’t choose

57. What kind of people are you attracted to? ugh, I deffo don’t have a specific type of person, it really strongly depends on the person. It can be the metalhead in one of the other Fachschaften and it also can be the hot model or the mysterious musician whose head is in the clouds 99% of the time. As long as the person treats me right and isn’t suuuuuper weird it really can be anyone.

58. What was the last thing you cried for? didn’t we have that question already

59. Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgusts you? Yaaaaa. I hate mushrooms, any sort of fish, snails, insects, basically all that stuff that Germans don’t eat, and oh yeah we have that thing called blood sausage here which is the most awful thing ever

60. Are you in love? all the time

61. Something you find romantic? lying in the grass at night time staring into the sky and talking is something I wanna do with someone special

62. How long was your longest relationship? 6 months? long distance I mentioned that

63. What are three things that irritate you about the same sex? - why do girls bath their faces in tons of make up EVERY SINGLE DAY like I don’t even wear more than mascara EVER - why do girls have to be so disgusting when it comes to public toilets and stuff - arrogance

64. What are three things that irritate you about the opposite sex? - superior behavior - beards - can’t think of the third rn

65. What are you saving money for? for my further studies in October 2018

66. How would you describe your bad side? bad..?

67. Are you actually a good person? Why? I always try to be nice to people and approach them without any prejudice and I try to make people feel good in my presence

68. What are you living for? music and photography haha

69. Have you ever done anything illegal? I parked illegally a couple times lol

70. Do you like your body? check out question 11

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? I strongly hope I haven’t

72. Ever sent nudes? lmao nope

73. Have you ever cheated on someone? In my mindddddd lol

74. Favorite candy? Ferrero Rocher. I’d die for them.

75. Is there a blog you visit every day or almost every day? Tag it! nopeeee I’m sorry I’m lame

76. Do you play any computer games? What’s your favorite? I used to play Rollercoaster Tycoon and Sims 2-4 a loooooot

77. Favorite TV series? Riverdale!!!! And the old German series ‘Wege zum Glück’ which is such a soap opera but I’m a sucker for it still

78. Are you religious? Does God exist? There have been so many “coincidences” that make it hard to believe he isn’t existent. And also there’s so much positive stuff in my life right now, I think he led me where I am right now.

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? I read a Swedish book from Henning Mankell about murders and it was cool

80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? everyone is allowed to eat what they want, I don’t even careee

81. How long have you been on tumblr? since 2011/12, not sure

82. Do you like Chinese food? every now and then, yes.

83. McDonalds or Subway? Megges!

84. Vodka or whiskey? V!

85. Alcohol or drugs? only done alcohol so that’s it for me

86. Ever been out of your province/state/country? of course!!!

87. Meaning behind your blog name? it’s my favorite song by the Swedish band called ‘DNKL’

88. What are you scared of? not finding someone to spend the rest of my life with

89. Last time you were insulted? I tend to suppress things like this

90. Most traumatic experience? being taken away from my grandparents regularly when I was young

91. Perfect date idea? it has to do with sunsets and the ocean

92. Favorite app on your phone? Instagrammmmm

93. What color are the walls in your room? white

94. Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favorite youtuber? I love the vlogs from Lex&Los and I am obsessed with the videos of the Swabian comedian Dodokay.

95. Share your favorite quote. boy there are so many I can’t even come up with one right now

96. What is the meaning of life? finding that one passion and doing everything to live that passion every day

97. Do you like horror movies? N O P E

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened? probably my birth has made her cry at some point

99. Do you feel lucky or special in a way? the way some bandmembers treat me is truly something special hehe yes

100. Can you keep a secret? for sure!

#me #100 questions #personal #answers #helloooo

7 notes · View notes

nyahben · 7 years

Note

lol ok all of the marvel asks EXCEPT Deadpool lmao

AVENGERS: What superpower would you like to have?super speed!! IRON MAN: What is your favourite piece of technology?my phone! not to be a stereotypical introverted teenaged character from an early 2000s kids show but it’s literally my life. (my playstation’s great too. oh and my laptop)

CAPTAIN AMERICA: What is your sexuality?i’m not very sure, honestly, but atm i’m guessing i’m pan ace? BLACK WIDOW: Share a secret.i’m constantly screaming on the inside, but no one can tell usually, does that count as a secretTHOR: What is your religion?roman catholic!

HAWKEYE: What is your favourite movie?the incredibles!!!

HULK: How strong are you?i’m extremely weak. i’m like 60 kg and exactly 0% of that weight is muscle LOKI: What is the biggest mistake that you have ever made?picking art as a career probably.SCARLET WITCH: If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?if i could make things so i never existed that’d be rad, but it would probably wreck the space-time continuum or something

QUICKSILVER: Have you any siblings?i have a little brother! VISION: What weight are you?last i checked i was about 63 kilograms, i think

ULTRON: What is the last text you sent?‘ye’

ANT-MAN: What height are you?5′10″/178 cm

WASP: What's your full name?Nunya BusinessBUCKY: Who is your best friend?@moonlit--knight!!!!FALCON: Which fictional character would you like to hang out with?lance mcclain or kamala khan SPIDER-MAN: What is/was your favourite subject in school?well, if we’re talking high school, it was actually physical education/gym, mostly because the teachers didn’t take it seriously and just let us play soccer every class

DOCTOR STRANGE: Name a special talent you have.i don’t think i have any talents really. i mean, i’m not naturally good at anything...

CAPTAIN MARVEL: What do you want to achieve in life?i just want to write a comic that inspires people, the way shows like steven universe have inspired me

BLACK PANTHER: How responsible are you?i’m Not

SPIDER-WOMAN: What is your favourite smell?the smell of new books, i guess.

NOVA: Do you prefer the moon or stars?they’re both great, but i guess i prefer the moon...

LUKE CAGE: What job do you want?comic book illustrator or concept artist

JESSICA JONES: What is your favourite memory?(immediately forgets literally all of my memories)

DAREDEVIL: What is your favourite song?right now, it’s a tie between believer - imagine dragons and i found a way - drake bell

IRON FIST: What is your favourite food?burgers! MS. MARVEL: Who is your idol?the only people i really look up to are my friends X-MEN: What social issue do you feel strongest about? (sexism, racism, etc.)everything that’s screwing up the world right now

PROFESSOR X: What are you thinking about right now?how i’m probably gonna fail this assignment i have due on tuesdayCYCLOPS: Do you wear glasses?yup!ROGUE: What is your crushes name?i... don’t have a crush. is that weird? i’ve never really had a crush tbh

MAGNETO: What country are you from?well i live in canada, if that’s what you mean... if you mean where i feel i belong idk what to say i don’t feel like i belong in any single country

MYSTIQUE: What is one thing that you would like to change about yourself?literally everything, i’m the Worst

WOLVERINE: What are you afraid of?failure and the chance i may never be able to see my family again (it’s actually a pretty high chance)

PHOENIX: What is your favourite book?THE WAY OF KINGS BY BRANDON SANDERSON

STORM: What is your favourite type of weather?cool, but not very windy

BEAST: What is your favourite animal?i’m not an animal person tbh

ANGEL: What is your MBTI type?INFPMAGIK: What is your star sign?Libra!

GAMBIT: When is your birthday?October 17

SHADOWCAT: Have you any pets?nope

GROOT: What is your favourite flower?i’m... not a flower/nature person either...

ROCKET: What languages do you speak?i speak english primarily, though i have studied french, hindi and arabic too and i’m just about barley familiar with konkani (but i don’t speak anything but english really)

STAR-LORD: What is your Harry Potter house?Ravenclaw!

DRAXX: Who do you love most in the world?my friends!!!!!! and also my brother!!!!!!!!

GAMORA: What is your worst memory?oh i can’t talk about that, it’s a tad traumatic almost, lmaoMEDUSA: What colour/length/style is your hair?black/long-ish/out of control

BLACK BOLT: What is your accent like?i’ve been told it’s somewhere between indian and british (closer to indian though- goan if you want to be exact, there’s a lot of different indian accents)

GHOST RIDER: What is the worst thing that you have ever done?everything i’ve ever done is Bad

#THANKS #ninja-cant-have-nice-things

3 notes · View notes