Telly Addicts: Christmas Special
December 28th, 1992
Noel Edmonds is back with a festive edition of the TV quiz, with special guests Rosemarie Ford, Michael Ball, Danny Baker, Michelle Collins, Pauline Quirk, Linda Robson, Keith Barron and Geoffrey Hughes.
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I hope people who grew up outside the reach of UK television know that Mr Blobby was not a cute children's character, but rather an avatar of 90s chaos. His voice was mechanically distorted and all he did was lumber around shrieking his own name and tackling unwitting talk-show guests. Those Poppy Playtime FNAF kids don't know how good they have it.
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So if Mr Bonzo is Mr Blobby then Nigel Dickerson is Noel Edmonds and I can think of no better fate for that vile man than to be in servitude to his horrific creation for life and beyond.
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Despite the title, this was the theme to the final two years of "Noel Edmond's Multi-Coloured Swap Shop" back in the 80's, not "Saturday Superstore" (Which was Swap Shop's replacement)
One of BA Robertson's little earworms.
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Inside the fed up New Zealand village ‘colonised’ by Noel Edmonds, 74 | In Trend Today
Inside the fed up New Zealand village ‘colonised’ by Noel Edmonds, 74
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Inside the fed up New Zealand village ‘colonised’ by Noel Edmonds, 74 | In Trend Today
Inside the fed up New Zealand village ‘colonised’ by Noel Edmonds, 74
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Tony: Kid, no one could ruin your wedding
Peter: Noel Edmonds could
Tony: How the fuck could Noel Edmonds ruin your wedding?
Peter: Because everyone would spend the day looking at him and not at me
Tony: That’s fair
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I'm from Australia and grew up with BBC and British TV, but there are still references that take me by surprise. For example, you would believe the "Mitchell Brothers" were real celebrities and ran the entire UK with how many references are made to them, especially across panel shows. Do you experience this? I often /understand/ why certain references, like popular soaps, are, indeed, popular, but I'm still surprised by just how much they're talked about!
omg this is HILARIOUS and YES!!!
i think this will be very funny for any of my uk & ireland followers to read? hahaha
i get asked all the time whether i understand the cultural references on panel shows and in standup (i do!) — but no one has ever asked me if i'm surprised by them! but YES. the best example i can think of is i swear to gawd there was a period of the late 2000s/early 2010s (?) when it felt like you couldn't watch a single episode of any panel show and not hear a noel edmonds joke. noel edmonds. noel edmonds. do you understand how absolutely meaningless that name is to an american like me? but omg i've heard 10000000000000 noel edmonds jokes/references in my day — and it DID surprise me just how much he was on people's minds! and, like you, i get it: he's super famous and he's a good punchline. but still! him and omg fuckin mick hucknall. why. why. why. why is the british light entertainment industry so obsessed with mick hucknall and making jokes about mick hucknall and references to mick hucknall. again, a name that means nothing to americans. so yes very funny to me, as a foreigner, how of all the very very famous people to reference and joke about these are some of the ones that get it the most!
so without further ado i tried to list the british cultural references that i hear the most + that also have a tinge of that "every comedian in britain thinking about pat sharp at all times and has a joke about him at the ready" feeling hahaha
series: coronation street, eastenders, springwatch, crimewatch, doctor who, blue peter, only fools and horses, mrs brown's boys
music: mick hucknall/simply red, the pretenders (it's always "you look like both of the pretenders"), noddy holder/slade, ronan keating, robbie williams/take that, blue, JLS, (there are obv groups like five and s club 7 but they’re not referenced nearly as much,) chesney hawkes
people: the chuckle brothers, eamonn holmes, terry wogan, janet street-porter, moira stuart, jeremy clarkson, noel edmonds, pat sharp (i thought pat sharp was a character on eastenders for about 10 years but that's pat butcher, who is also referenced constantly), john leslie, parky
there are obvious plenty more culturally specific people, places, and things that are referenced and discussed, and it's worth mentioning a lot of this is coming from middle-aged white people, but sheeeeesh... noel edmonds!!! maybe i just notice them now? bc i'm still kinda surprised i'm hearing janet street-porter jokes in 2023?
but i love it! i hope this post makes sense hahaha
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The contenders have been chosen! A whopping 256 characters have been sent to me. Brackets will take awhile to be made but the tournament will start when I'm ready.
Achilles
Agravain
Altera
Altera the Santa
Amakusa Shirou
Amor
Anastasia
Andromeda
Anne Bonny & Mary Read
Antonio Salieri
Aoko Aozaki
Arash
Archimedes
Arcueid
Arjuna
Arjuna Alter
Artoria
Artoria Alter
Artoria Caster
Artoria Lancer
Artoria Lancer Alter
Asclepius
Ashiya Douman
Asterios
Astolfo
Asvatthaman
Atalanta
Atalanta Alter
Angra Mainyu
Avicebron
Baobhan Sith
Barghest
Bartholomew Roberts
Bazett
BB
Bedivere
Beowulf
Bhima
Billy the Kid
Blackbeard
Boudica
Bradamante
Britomart
Byrnhild
Caenis
Calamity Jane
Carmilla
Ceil
Circe
Charlemagne
Charlotte Corday
Chen Gong
Chevalier d'Eon
Cleopatra
Constantine XI
Cu
Cu (Alter)
Cu (Caster)
David
Daybit
Demon King Nobunaga
Diarmuid
Dioscuri
Dobrynya Nikitich
Dorothea Coyett
Durga
Duryodhana
Dust of Osiris
Edmond Dantes
Emiya
Enkidu
Ereshkigal
Europa
Fergus mac Roich
Fionn mac Cumhaill
Fiore Forvedge
First Hassan
Florence Nightingale
Francesca Prelati
Francis Drake
Fujimaru Ritsuka
Fuma Kotaro
Gareth
Gawain
Georgios
Gilgamesh
Gilgamesh Caster
Goetia
Goredolf
Gorgon
Hassan of Serenity
Hassan of the Hundred Faces
Hildr
Hector
Henry Jekyll & Hyde
Hephaestion
Hercules
Hippolyta
Huang Feihu
Huyan Zhuo
Ibuki Douji
Iskandar
Ishtar
Ivan the Terrible
Izumo no Okuni
Jacques de Molay
Jacques de Molay Foreigner
Jalter
Jason
Jeanne d'Arc
Jinako Carigiri
Jing Ke
Kadoc
Kama
Karna
Kato Danzo
Katsushika Hokusai
Kiara
Kiichi Hogen
Kijyo Koyo
Kintoki
Kirei
Kiritsugu
Kirschtaria Wodime
Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg
Kishinami Hakuno
Koyanskaya
Kriemhild
Kukulkan
Lanling Wang
Leonardo da Vinci
Leysritt
Locusta
Luviagelita Edelfelt
Mandricardo
Mash
Mata Hari
Medea
Medusa
Meltryllis
Mephistopheles
Merlin
Merlin Prototype
Mikiya Kokutou
Miss Crane
Miyamoto Musashi
Miyamoto Iori
Mordred
Mori Nagayoshi
Moriarty (Archer)
Moriarty (Ruler)
Mozart
Muniere
Murasaki Shikibu
Mysterious Heroine XX
Nagkura Shinpachi
Neco Arc
Nero
Nezha
Noah
Noel Aizome
Night of Wallachia
Nitocris
Nitocris Alter
Nrvnqsr Chaos
Oberon
Oda Kippoushi
Oda Nobunaga
Odysseus
Okada Izo
Okita Souji
Ortlinde
Osakabehime
Ozymandias
Passionlip
Patxi
Penthesilea
Percival
Perseus
Phantom of the Opera
Proto Arthur
Ptolemy
Qin Liangyu
Queen Himiko
Queen Medb
Queen of Sheba
Quetzalcoatl
Quetzalcoatl Samba
Raikou
Rama
Richard the Lionheart
Riesbyfe Stridberg
Rin Tohsaka
Roa
Robin Hood
Romani
Saber (Fate/Samurai Remnant)
Saint Martha
Saito Hajime
Sakamoto Ryouma and Oryo
Salome
Sasaki Kojiro
Scandinavia Peperoncino
Scathach
Scheherazade
Sei Shonagon
Semiramis
Shakespeare
Sherlock Holmes
Shi Huang Di
Shiki Tohno
Shiki Ryougi
Shirou Emiya
Shuten Douji
Sieg
Siegfried
Sigurd
Sisigou Kairi
Skadi
Souichirou Kuzuki
Spartacus
Suse Ritsuka
Suzuka Gozen
Taiga Fujimura
Taigong Wang
Taira-no-Kagekiyo
Takao Dayu
Takasugi Shinsaku
Takechi Zuizan
Tamamo Cat
Tamamo no Mae
Tenochtitlan
Theseus
Thrud
Tiamat
Tomoe Gozen
Touko Aozaki
Tristan
Ushiwakamaru
Van Gogh
Vlad III
Vlov Arkhangel
Vritra
Watanabe-no-Tsuna
Waver
Xiang Yu
Xuanzang Sanzang
Yamanami Keisuke
Yan Qing
Yang Guifei
Yu Mei-ren
Yui Shousetsu
Zenobia
Zeus
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I'll be honest I didnt expect "Expy of Noel Edmonds has his life ruined by evil monsterous Mr Blobby who he then has to cater too forever" to be on my Magnus Protocol bingo card.
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