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clubdionysus · 25 days

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[BAD DECISION #20] - Park Jimin... Again

warnings: ohh this one hurts my heart! drinking, drunk hook-up, fingering, oral (m receiving), both parties are fully consenting but the OC is having a bit of a hard time mentally (head vs heart kind thing!), it makes me really sad for her reading it back :( anyways, one of the biggest B birds is tackled!!!! kinda!!! the smut isn't he he smutty smut!! more so mechanical! controversial opinion but one of my fave starluvrs chapters!!

soundtrack: seesaw - bts

wc: 6.8k

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

"Hey," Jeongguk says quietly as he comes to stand beside you. You're standing behind the front desk at your work, watching on with subtle pride as Tae's event kicks into gear. Chatter pollutes the air, Tae's chosen choice of jazz music softly humming beneath the conversation.

Jeongguk's dressed well. More formal than you've ever seen him. A dark, silky shirt hangs off his broad shoulders, unbuttoned just enough to give you vivid flashbacks of your hand around his throat, nails scratching ever so gently at his skin. His usual silver chain sits prettily in place, but a second necklace hangs a little lower. As always, his hair is tousled in such a way it screams 'i woke up like this' - but you've seen him in the mornings. Know that he will have spent a solid half an hour perfecting the look.

On his feet are his trusty Chuck Taylors. Makes you laugh when you look down and see them next to your sparkly heels. You nudge against his shoes with your own. He does it back.

If you were to glance in the mirror in the far corner of the room, you'd notice how good you look together. Your dress is tight - a well-structured bodice with a low back and a straight skirt that finishes midway down your thighs - but chiffon billows around your arms. A subtle shimmer runs through the threads of the otherwise black fabric, and Jeongguk thinks it's fitting. Doesn't mention it, though.

Instead, he gently strokes the top of your back where your shoulder blades are far too tense. You're more poised than usual. It's stress, he thinks.

He'd be right in thinking that - but you smile regardless. Won't let anything dampen how well Tae's show is going.

Lights dim, the focus is all on the art pieces. Free champagne (which is really just prosecco but you're hoping no one will notice) is flowing, and appetisers are being eaten. The deli cafe a few floors below had agreed to do the catering, and you're thankful that they agreed to do it for a discount rate. You're barely breaking even with the launch event, but you hope that it will prove to be fruitful for Tae and the other artists in the future.

"Hey," you whisper right back, knocking your shoulder against him tenderly. "You good?"

He nods and hums a pretty little purr of confirmation. "You?"

You do the same back. It's not for a lack of wanting to engage in conversation, it's just that you know your social battery is gonna be worn down to the metal casing by the end of the evening, and so you're preserving your resources.

Jeongguk is aware of this. He always clocks it whenever you reached social capacity in the club - you'll sway instead of dance, and drunkenly walk away from people, favouring the bar instead of the dancefloor. He knows you've maybe got a solid six hours in you, but anything after that? He's not so sure.

"The place looks great," he tells you - and it really does.

For the launch night, you've optimised space and minimised the number of easels that are out. Furniture has been rearranged to create a natural flow for attendees to walk through, in order for each artist to have their work fully admired.

Tae's collection is the focal point, of course, but it's done in such a subtle way that most won't notice. The design of it all is smart - helped by Jimin's expertise in interior staging, brought to life by the brawn of Jeongguk and how he's able to move even the heaviest furniture with ease, and finished off with Tae's carefully crafted artwork.

They make for a great team.

Yoongi's custom-built frames and display units are perfect for the space, and Namjoon is by the entrance greeting critics he knows from other papers. Tae couldn't have surrounded himself with better people.

You think it's deserved. His work is gorgeous. If you had a spare penny, you'd invest in some. Know that he's destined for greatness, and that this is just the start of his professional career. If anything, you feel lucky to be a part of it all, no matter how small.

But see that's the thing - Taehyung always had these resources around him. Had it not been for you pulling them all together and actually using them, he never would have done. Not to the best of his ability, at least. You're just as important to this as the rest of them are.

Jeongguk couldn't be prouder - of you, of Tae, of what you've achieved. It's early and the night is young, but things are heading in the right direction. People are filtering in gradually. Half a dozen people have come off the street just to see what's going on.

"I think it's incredible, Byeol," Jeongguk says softly. "All of this... I just. Wow. Amazing."

"Stop," you laugh quietly. "Was a team effort."

He shakes his head. Thinks you're by far the most important piece of the puzzle.

"Yeah, well," he shrugs. "What's a team without a leader?"

You glance over at him, a little bemused by his appreciation.

He looks down at you and smiles, lip ring flipping ever so slightly in that way you adore so much. In the dull light behind the desk, a small speck of glitter twinkles on his shoulder.

"Here," you say as you reach over to pick it away, before dusting it off your fingers. "I fear I've cursed you with glitter."

Jeongguk shakes his head. Tells you he doesn't mind. He kind of likes the sparkles. Is still finding tiny reminders of you in his sheets. Makes him smile every time.

When he was sleeping with Hayun, it would be her lipstick that would stain his skin. His mugs, his sheets, his shirts, too.

Part of him wonders what permanence Jiyeong will hold.

Part of him kind of doesn't wanna find out.

But speak of the Devil and he doth appear - or think of Jiyeong, and sure enough, there she is by the entrance, speaking with Hoseok, who is handling entry.

She's dressed well - a navy blue dress hugs her enviable figure, which you know she's worked damn hard to achieve. Her hair is down, and her make-up is minimal; a natural beauty. Not a speck of glitter in sight.

"Ah, it does appear your princess has arrived, Prince Charming," you tease him with a little more pomp and poise than is needed, just to echo your point.

"Fuck off," he laughs - but heads on his way regardless.

You watch on as Jeongguk greets her, a hand in his pocket while the other scratches at the back of his head. He laughs, looks to the floor, then back up at her. When he smiles, his lip ring does the thing .

You look away. Find Tae in the crowd. Head for him instead.

Your palms feel a little clammy, and your head doesn't feel like it's screwed on properly, but there's no feasible reason to feel such a way. Belated nerves, maybe? It's a big night. Tae has a lot riding on it. Yeah. That must be it.

As you approach, with an extra champagne flute in hand to top him up, he beams at you.

Smile wide, Taehyung is every bit the schmoozer. He's been talking the ears off a local critic for the past ten minutes, and they've laughed at every joke.

It probably helps that he's dressed like the boy of everyone's fantasies; ivory shirt and dark slacks, lockets around his neck and dark hair pushed back to frame his portrait-worthy face. In a room full of priceless art, Kim Taehyung could be considered a masterpiece himself.

The thought glitters in your mind, illuminating the fact that you think this could apply to Jeongguk, too. You twist ever so slightly to look at him, but stop yourself. Your nosey tendencies can wait.

For now, Tae is babbling on about your contribution to the show, and you're far better off focusing on him. He's without an agent, so you're playing the role for now.

You don't really know what it all entails, but you've read a wikihow page and watched a couple of youtube videos. Know enough to get by. It's just to stop investors from thinking they can take advantage of Tae. You're protection, in a way, which is laughable.

"You've an eye for curation," a critic tells you, after Tae finishes bragging about your dedication to the show - but you shake your head.

"It's all Taehyung's genius," you smile. "He's an artist through and through, and it's his concepts we've brought to life. I'm merely a facilitator of his vision."

It's all so pompous. You hate the bullshit chatter, but know it's needed. So does Tae. You've never seen him so composed. He doesn't even falter when Danbi shows up half an hour later.

Though he does get a little giggly when she approaches him to gush about how beautiful his work is. He grins - and grins, and grins, and grins - and tells her that it's nothing. She tells him he's remarkable, and her words replay in his head for the rest of the night.

Kind of like how Jeongguk's hand on your back, the intrusive scent of his aftershave, and the thought of his lip ring doing the thing whenever he nibbles down on it, plagues yours. It's bizarre.

Realistically, you know it's because you're nervous, and have always sought comfort in him. If he were by your side, maybe you'd worry less about Tae impressing the critics. Maybe he'd joke with you about that one rogue piece of art neither of you really like.

Instead, he stands with Jiyeong, engaged in conversation with the Mins. If you were to be looking in his direction, you'd notice Seoyeon trying to catch your eye. 'Are you okay?' her nuanced gaze would ask, and you'd smile. Nod your head. Assure her that you're grand.

You refuse to let yourself linger. It's not healthy. Jeongguk is your friend. Dependency isn't cute on anyone.

But Jiyeong looks cute on his arm, and Jeongguk looks cute when he explains different art facts he's learnt from you to her. The recycled knowledge is wasted on a mind like Jiyeong's. Her interests lie elsewhere. It's not her kind of thing - but Jeongguk is her kind of man, so she nods along and is ever so pleasant.

When Nabi arrives, you're pleased to see her act just as frosty towards Jiyeong as she had towards you.

"Don't mind her," Jimin grins beside you as you watch the interaction with great curiosity. "Nabi is... Well, she's Nabi."

You smile. Jimin looks dashing as ever. Is wearing a thin knitted sweater with a pair of tight jeans hugging his toned legs. Chelsea boots accent his look, and you find yourself smiling at the predictability of him. His style differs from that of his friends, but you find that you quite like it.

His hair is perfectly permed to fall back off his face, showing off his dark eyes and cute little cheeks. He's paradoxical. Sweet and spicy all in one bite.

"She always like this?" You ask, not really caring if Jimin knows you don't feel so fondly towards her.

"Uh-huh," he nods. "She comes across as rude, but honestly I think she's just shy."

"Shy?" You sneer - but catch the unpleasant look on your face and try to soften it. The stress has made you a little snappy, and you don't like it.

"Shy," he nods again with a laugh. Finds your uncharacteristically sour face rather funny. "She's hot though, so everyone thinks she's being a dick. She'll warm up. She always does - you really think Seoyeon would be friends with her if she didn't?"

He's got a good point. Seoyeon is potentially the sweetest person you've ever met. You can't imagine her being friends with assholes - but then again, even assholes need friends. Seoyeon would always try and see the good in people, if she could.

"She scares me," you tell him. He hands you his champagne flute. It's half empty, but he thinks you need a drink. He's right.

"You scare her, probably. You're some random girl showing up all buddy-buddy with her oldest friends without warning," he says, trying to put it into perspective. "She gets back from visiting family abroad and BOOM . There's some girl riding shotgun in Jeongguk's car and helping with Tae's career in a way she never could. It's intimidating. She doesn't know her place anymore."

When he says it like that, you cringe. Feel guilty for being such a harsh judge towards her. Sure, Nabi had been rude, but you can't go through life expecting everyone to act in the same way you would. It's differences that make us interesting, after all.

"How long had been gone?" You ask quietly, knowing it's really none of your business.

"Six months," Jimin says. "Her grandparents live in Scotland. It's where she's been. You should ask her, yourself. Might be a good chance to get to know her."

You nod. Fold your arms across your chest. Decide you know far too much about this poor girl's personal life already. Anything else you learn, you would like it to be directly from her.

"Would she like to come out with us?" You offer. "After the show?"

Jimin smiles. "Probably. I'll ask."

When she glances over to you a little while later, Jimin clearly mentioning the invite, you smile. You think she smiles back, but it's hard to tell - though you can clearly see her nod.

You sigh a shallow breath of relief and are so focused on the interaction that you almost don't notice Jeongguk coming to stand beside you.

"Clock's not struck midnight yet, Charming," you hum when you smell his aftershave. "Where's your girl?"

He nudges his shoulder against yours and takes your champagne flute from your hand - your fifth of the night and counting - before knocking it all back in one swig.

"Couldn't stay. She's meeting friends, so we'll probably see her out tonight - if that's okay?"

"Yeah, sure," you say without hesitation. "Of course that's fine. It was really nice of her to come along."

Jeongguk nods. "Yeah. I think she enjoyed it."

You nod, too. It's a little awkward. Neither of you know how to navigate conversations about other people. You're coy; don't wanna ask too much.

"That's good," you smile. "Fancy another drink?"

"Please."

One drink turns into three, which turns into six. By the time the show has dwindled down to just the usual suspects, and Tae is popping a champagne bottle in celebration of an exhibition gone well, you're ready to hit the clubs.

Everyone is in good spirits.

There's not a single face without a smile as you head downtown, not to Dionysus, but to a bar just across the road. The boys are regulars here just as much, but it's a quieter vibe - small rooms that allow for a more private setting.

They instantly head towards one of the back coves. The room is tiny. Cramped. Dark. Stinks of beer and cigarette smoke. There are black sofas lining the walls, and you dread to think of what horrors they've seen as you sink down into one beside Jeongguk.

Not much thought is given to your seating arrangement. His legs are stretched out, knees wide apart, one hand over his crotch, the other tucked behind you. Legs pulled up to your chest, your feet are on the sofa, shoes on the floor. One of your arms wraps around your knees, hugging them into you. Your other hand mindlessly rests on his thigh.

It's dangerously close to his hand. So close that he reaches out with his fingers. They delicately toy with yours. You think very little of it. Just finds comfort in it. So does he.

No one notices.

You're wedged between Jeongguk and Danbi, who also has an incredibly giddy Taehyung next to her.

Or at least she does, until he hops up to grab beer pong cups from the bar. He returns with everything he needs for the game, but leaves again, only to return with a tray of shots, too.

It's just sourz. Has nothing on purple starfuckers - but it serves a purpose. Is exactly what you need as you stand at one end of the beer pong table.

Nabi is on the other end, Jimin by her side.

Tae got distracted by Danbi, well, existing. Put the cups down and haven't thought about them since. The game is yours now.

It's nice seeing Nabi actually smile. Has you supposing that Jimin was right, after all. She cheers when anyone gets shots in, even if it means she has to drink. A good sport. Just wants everyone to have fun. Knows that she sometimes can rub people up the wrong way, so appreciates the fact you made sure she was invited.

She always would have been invited. Taehyung had already mentioned it to her - but the fact that you made Jimin check? She appreciates it. Probably won't tell you so directly, but hopes that you'll see she's trying.

And you do. You're trying, too. It's always weird when someone new enters a dynamic. It's why you're trying to be mindful of Jiyeong, and excuse away Jeongguk for not being totally focused on the evening.

He's torn between his friends and making sure he replies to her drunk messages quickly enough. It doesn't help that he's also drunk and really can't be fucked with being on his phone in a dark room. It's embarrassing. He's here with friends. Doesn't wanna be glued to a screen.

His phone is facedown by the sofa when he comes to stand behind you, while you gear up for your next shot. You're currently a point up, and only have to get three more cups out.

"Easy does it," Jeongguk husks just loud enough for you to hear. If his voice wasn't enough to distract you, his hand on your hip might just be. It's disguised by the shadows of the dark room, but the sensation burns so brightly you're surprised no one else notices.

"I am easy," you tell him, not realising how bad that sounds until it's out of your mouth. The glitter on your cheeks catches in the dim fairy lights as you giggle at yourself.

Jeongguk just smirks. Shakes his head.

"No, you're not."

"Well, what am I then?" you flirt a little. " Hard ?"

Oh God, he's smirking again.

There's a mirror on the far wall behind Nabi and Jimin. You hate it.

Hate how you never used to notice mirrors before Jeongguk came into your life, and hate how you noticed every single one of them now.

Hate how good Jeongguk looks, dark hair waving divinely around his features. His broad shoulders are hidden by his shirt, but he's loosened his buttons to frame his collar bones in silk. Sleeves rolled up, forearms on show, he's a menace.

The kind of guy your mother warned you about, cosplaying as the boy next door. Trouble. Sin. Temptation.

And yet he's just so pretty - doe-eyed and dewy-nosed - that he's impossible to resist.

"Maybe," he sings, taking a swig of his drink before holding it to your lips. You let him tilt it. Drink it down. Tastes like shit, but you don't care. Are too enthralled by the flirt.

"Nah," you laugh softly as you lick the liquor from your lips. "I'm not hard."

Jeongguk's had too much to drink. He knows better than to reply in the way he wants to. Knows he shouldn't grip your waist and pull you back so that your ass is rested against his crotch.

He knows, he knows, he knows.

"Funny," he husks. "You might not be, but me? Well..."

And yet his grip does tighten. He closes the gap. Makes your breath hitch.

"Haven't got all day Disco Ball!" Jimin calls over, blissfully unaware of what's going on in the dark.

Jeongguk loosens his grip. Takes a step back. Walks around to the side of the table and slumps down into the sofa beside Namjoon.

From the corner of your eye, you can see them whispering to each other, but decide to ignore it.

Instead, you line up your shot. Focus. Narrow your eyes and ignore the heckles Jimin is throwing in your direction. Anything to put you off your game. Nabi slaps at his shoulder and tells him to cut it out.

And so you smile at her. Mouth the words 'thank you' in her direction.

Jimin just leans on the table. Tells you that he gets a free shot if you take any longer.

"That's bullshit and you know it," Jeongguk calls over, just to let you all know he's still invested.

Of course he is. He wants you to win.

Just didn't wanna take things too far.

"You've got this, B!"

And you do .

The shot is smooth. Sharp. The tiny white ball knocks against the lip of the most distant cup and falls directly into the small pool of beer it's holding.

Jimin stares at it in disbelief.

"What?" You grin, as Jeongguk cheers you on and Namjoon laughs at Jimin's poor defeated face. "Drink up, Park. Haven't got all day."

The rest of the game continues much like that. Jeongguk sits on the sidelines and lets you take the reins. Doesn't interfere. Just watches on, with a curious sense of pride and something he can't quite place. Just notices that his jaw gets a little tense whenever your start joking around with Jimin.

It's nothing a fresh shot doesn't solve. The liquor eases his jaw. Makes him forget the uncomfortable feeling that comes with watching your glitter sparkle in someone else's eyes.

He brushes the feeling to the side. Ignores it.

But when you've been gone for ten minutes, and he realises he doesn't know where Jimin is either, he pauses. Doesn't want another shot cause he feels a little sick.

Decides the bathroom is the best place for him. It's a bog standard toilet - no gender separation of the stalls. Just a door into a room with a sink in it, and another door that leads to the actual toilet.

"Shit, sorry," Jeongguk mumbles as he opens the door, realising someone's stood by the sink.

"Hey," you chime pleasantly. "It's cool. Come in. No one's in there."

You've just been touching up your makeup. Have no idea where Jimin is. You've not seen him. Assume he's flirting with some random by the bar. Seems like him.

And yet Jeongguk's drunk tongue decides that he'd quite like to just make sure you haven't seen Jimin. It's stupid. He's got no reason to care. Doesn't care. Is just a little too tipsy for his own good.

"If I didn't know any better," Jeongguk says quietly, coming to stand behind you. "I'd say you've been flirting with Jimin."

The bathroom is cramped, graffiti covering the walls. There's no soap and the hand dryer is broken. It's seen better days. Seen a lot of sin. You glance up at him as you wash your hands the best you can. The position is all too familiar.

Mirrors and Jeongguk?

Yeah. A view you know well.

You smirk. Raise your brows. "So what if I have been?"

He shrugs. Looks at your hair, and starts to toy with it. Scoops it together to push it all over a single shoulder.

He leaves your neck exposed, and bites down on his lips to stop himself from doing things he knows he shouldn't. A tiny waft of your perfume intrudes on his senses. God . He really does fucking like your perfume.

"Just curious," he says. "That's all."

You think that will be the end of his interrogation.

Think that Jeongguk is just throwing questions into the void, but that your lack of a clear answer will deter him.

It does. Only for a moment, though. He's still stroking at your hair. Doesn't look at you. Just your damn hair.

And then, seemingly out of nowhere, he asks, "Are you gonna fuck him again?"

You say nothing, just continue washing your hands as you think about what the fuck to say back. You've not been planning on it, but the question sounds a bit like an accusation. Sounds like Jeongguk is probing you. Sounds unlike him. Sounds like he wants a fight.

Shutting the tap off, you rest your palms on the edge of the basin and look at his reflection. You're annoyed to find him still watching his own hands as they stroke through your hair.

"Why?" You question. He's never been one to cast judgement over your choices. Never. You're pissed that it seems like he's doing it now. "Should I fuck him again?"

Jeongguk's the one who falters now.

Only for a split second, but long enough for you to know he's running hurdles in his brain.

He doesn't know why he started the conversation, and doesn't know where the fuck he hopes it ends - he just knows he can't seem to stop it.

The dingy light flickers ever so gently, like morse code. Dash, dot... Dash, dash, dash.

Indifference is feigned well as he shrugs. "If you want."

And you're not sure why, but you ask, "Do you want me to?"

When he looks up and catches your gaze in the aged, desilvered mirror ahead of you both, he's hard to read.

His stare is hard, but his features are soft. Cheeks a little pink. Lips pretty and pouty like they are always are.

"Wasn't that the whole point of the birds?" He asks. "We fuck about, get you comfortable with intimacy... you have better sex?"

You scoff. Shake your head as you look down to where your hands grip the porcelain basin. There are water droplets still on your skin. Sort of look like tears, you think.

"Mhmm," you finally say as your eyes dart up again, with a nod and a smile so fake that even the alcohol can't convince Jeongguk it's genuine. "I'm sure Jimin will be thrilled to have your leftovers."

"What?" he asks, a little confused.

Running your hands through your hair, you disrupt the preening he's been doing and let your hair messily fall into a more natural state. His hands drop from their position by your shoulders. Distance is created.

"Surely it's easier to start off with someone you already know?" He continues. "And the fuck are you on about? Leftovers? You know I hate it when you say shit like that, Byeol. It's not like that."

In Jeongguk's mind, it's really not that dissimilar to your setting him up with Jiyeong. You had started him off easy. Someone he knows won't reject him.

Interesting how he's already convinced there'll be a next; that Jiyeong is a start, not an end.

Longevity isn't something that he sees in her.

A certain guilt lies within him whenever they're together because of this, but he thinks perhaps he's writing it off too soon. Maybe it's his brain self-sabotaging like it always does.

"So what's different?" you say quietly, and turn to face him.

In the mirror, the open back of your dress has your spine on full display, and Jeongguk's reminded of how he traced down it in his kitchen; you bent over his counter, threats of fucking Jimin again acting as foreplay.

He's only got himself to blame.

"How will fucking Jimin now be any different to the last time?"

Jeongguk shrugs. Starts toying with your hair again. You wish he would stop.

And yet you don't make him. He's gentle as he tucks the hair over your ear, mindful of your piercings.

"You know the house layout, now," he smirks, trying to lighten the mood. He really doesn't want to argue with you. "You won't trip up on your way out."

"Shut the fuck up," you smile, not wanting to find humour in his words. "Who knows? Maybe I'll be able to stay the night, now."

He nods. Purses his lips. Looks in your eyes as he whispers, "I'll be so proud of you if you do."

You think he means it.

So does he.

It's not something he's tried with you. Not a bird that's been completed - but one of the ones that means the most, he thinks.

It's sitting on his desk at home.

Had fallen after you'd agreed to stop doing the birds for the time being.

"You would?" You whisper back, and ignore the way his thumb is stroking your hip. Pretend like he isn't so close you can practically taste his drink of choice.

"I would," he says back so quietly it's barely even a breath. The way he nods his head forces his nose to nudge ever so gently against yours. It's nothing new. Nothing that hasn't been done before. "You've done so well, Byeol. Faced so many fears."

Haven't kissed you, though, you think - and it takes everything in you not to close the gap.

"It's still scary," you say, a hand on his chest, the other resting on the crook of his neck.

If anyone were to walk in right now, there'd be a million questions asked - and yet neither of you questions the familiarity of your embrace.

Intimacy has been fostered between the pair of you. Exactly what the birds were trying to prevent. You were supposed to face your fears; untie the acts from any romantic feelings.

It's why you tell yourself this is normal.

It's why you're utterly convinced that this is just a byproduct of the birds, and that it's not actually real.

"I used to be scared of the dark," he tells you with a shy smile, looking down as he laughs ever so gently. You laugh, too. It's cute.

He withdraws a little. Lets you go. Rests his back against the far wall and drinks in the sight of you.

Your lips are blushed. Pouty. Kiss deprived. Glitter shimmers by your eyes and he's so glad of how predictable you always are. Sees stars even on the cloudiest of nights with you.

Jeongguk just runs a hand through his hair and shrugs.

"Still don't like it much," he continues. "Spook myself out sometimes. There's a corner of my room that's a little darker than the rest of the place and... yeah. It freaks me out. But you know what?"

"What?" you enthuse, the smile on your lips definitely the result of a few too many drinks. It matches his.

He reaches over to the light switch. Turns it off. Stumbles a little from his lost balance, and regains it by reaching out for you. You steady him - and you're right back where you started, far too close.

"I'm not scared of it anymore," he whispers. "I don't like it much, and I prefer having a little light to guide me - but I'm not scared ."

"And this is relevant... how?" You giggle, as your hands hold onto the front of his shirt.

It's at this point Jeongguk knows he fucked, for Jeongguk's utterly convinced if he doesn't kiss you, he'll die.

He wants to press his lips down on yours as you giggle. Wants to taste the alcohol on your tongue. Wants to feel your teeth bite down on his bottom lip. Oh, god , he wants it . Wants you . Just once. Just so he knows what it's like.

He knows you kiss. Saw Jimin kiss you that very first night. Sure, you deflected it - but that initial contact? The way your lips looked as they pressed down into someone else's?

God, he just wants to know. Has to know.

Never been into voyeurism, but the more he thinks about you with someone else, the more he knows he'd gladly watch.

Perhaps 'gladly' is the wrong word. He'd fuckin' hate it - but he'd take it just to be blessed with a visual of you doing his favourite thing in the world.

But then he feels guilty, again.

He knows he's not strictly off the market, and that he is still single, but he's always been a one-girl kinda guy. Never fucked around with more than one at any one given time.

Would feel fucking awful if things with Jiyeong progressed, knowing that he'd gotten far too close for comfort with you in the early days.

He wants you in his life.

If he fucks around with you now, then it writes off any chance of that when he and Jiyeong become official.

So he pulls away from you again, and reaches for the light. Can't find it. Gives up. Cracks the door ajar a little. The light that pours in is dusty. Smoke filled. The particles dance in the air; filth in the purity of the one thing that keeps you breathing. His foot holds the door open. He bathes in the dingy lighting of the bar, his features masked by shadows.

"It's okay that you still don't like intimacy, B," he tells you. "What matters is that you still try. Even without me. Even if it scares you. You just gotta try. Just gotta keep trying."

You reach for the door and pull it further open. Let the light pour in.

"Gotta keep trying," you nod. "I should probably-"

"Yeah, yeah, no, of course," Jeongguk nods as you gesture to the door. "Go. Sorry for walking in on you like that."

"It's no bother," you tell him with a small smile.

And you really do mean it. Jeongguk never bothers you. You're always pleased to have his company around.

You're less pleased to realise how fucking wet you are as you walk back to the group. Been in his proximity for all of five minutes and you're a state . Maybe he's got a point. Maybe you do need to get laid.

When Jeongguk rejoins the group, he doesn't look at you. Picks up his jacket, and mumbles something to Jimin. A laugh is shared, before Jeongguk pats his back and heads towards the door without even glancing in your direction.

No explanation.

He's just gone.

"Hey Jimin?" You call over, too drunk to care for playing it cool. "Where'd Gguk go?"

"Jiyeong," he simply says not thinking much of it - and why would he?

From the corner of the group, Yoongi pays attention to the way your shoulders drop a little bit. He's not stupid.

Knows which direction the bathroom is in.

Knows there must have been some overlap.

Knows you've been off talking with Jeongguk.

Doesn't think it would be anything more than a conversation, but think it doesn't matter. As always, Yoongi is right.

Jeongguk had sought you out. Had wanted to speak with you privately. You'd returned with a pleasant smile on your face - once of which faded almost instantly once Jiyeong's name was mentioned.

Yoongi says nothing. It's not his place to interfere - though he does text Seoyeon almost instantly to let her know that there's trouble in paradise.

She's by the bar with Nabi getting another round. Glances over immediately. Frowns when she notices Jeongguk's absence. Sighs when she sees the look on your face.

"Kids," Yoongi mutters under his breath, shaking his head, before knocking down the rest of his whisky. He actually thinks having his own kids would be less stressful than keeping an eye on you all.

You know you shouldn't, but as you finish off your drink, you start feeling petty. Vindictive .

Jeongguk's out with Jiyeong doing fuck knows what. Is fuck knows where. You shouldn't be angry, but you're a little too drunk for your own good. Can't help it.

Maybe you will fuck Jimin.

Maybe you'll fuck him, and realise that sex really is just sex - even the intimate parts of it. Maybe you'll let Jimin make you cum. Maybe you'll let him kiss you. Maybe you'll stay the night, and maybe Jeongguk will have to watch the next morning as you emerge from Jimin's room instead of his.

Maybe he'll have to watch Jimin reap the fruits of his labour, just like you know Jiyeong is reaping the fruits of yours.

But this was always the deal. Always the case.

It isn't Jeongguk's fault. Isn't Jiyeong's. Isn't yours, either.

"Hey," Jimin grins, holding out his drink for you to take a sip. You gladly oblige. "Too pretty to be this mopey. Let's dance."

"Jimin," you pout and whine, really not feeling it. It's one thing to consider fucking Jimin, but a whole different thing to actually act on it.

"Don't gimmie that face," he teases. There's a glint in his eye; mischief . You recognise it. Have seen it before. Have leant into it. Have pushed it away.

You're not sure what you'll do with it tonight.

When you take Jeongguk out of the equation, you probably wouldn't give it a second thought. You know Jimin. Have fooled around with him before. Know you'll be safe. Know it will satisfy a hunger.

And so you take his hand, and let him drag you to the dancefloor.

Just like you let his hands wander. Let his teeth become reacquainted with your neck. His lips are soft. Warm. His hands, too. And his voice, when he says "should we just cut to the chase?"

You laugh. Nod. There's no point in playing coy; not when he knows what he wants, and assumes you want it, too. He doesn't get rejected too often. In fact, the last girl who did? Was you.

He doesn't even try to kiss you. Remembers how little you seemed to be into it the last time, completely unaware of the fact you love it.

At least you won't have to deal with Jeongguk, and how whiney he is about always wanting to ki-

Nope .

Once you realise you're thinking about him, you stop.

This? Now?

This is the first test of the birds. Jeongguk helped you. For this very purpose. He shouldn't hinder you. Not now.

Just like you're sure he's not thinking about you while he's with Jiyeong, you tell yourself you can't think about him, either.

Funny, really.

Jeongguk's across town embroiled in an argument. Can't stop thinking about you, 'cause Jiyeong's insisting on hashing it out with him as to why she gets such weird vibes from the pair of you both.

Jimin also gets those vibes, but is a boy, and is stupid. Pays no attention to it.

And why would he?

Not even half an hour later, you're in his bedroom.

He's the one reclining onto his elbows, legs spread, knees hooked over the end of his bed as you shake your dress off.

You think of the birds. Know that nakedness is one of them. The last time you fucked Jimin, you'd been fully clothed.

This time, you won't be.

It makes you nervous. He can't tell. Not with the way you hold yourself as you slip out of the fabric and let it crumple on his floor.

"You hard?" you ask quietly. The lighting is dim, and it's hard to tell beneath his dark jeans. He palms at himself and smirks.

"Getting there. Wanna see?"

You nod. Watch with bated breath as Jimin undoes his trousers. Pushes them down a little. Lets his white briefs show you exactly how hard he is.

He's definitely firm, but not quite there yet. Needs more than just a half-naked girl. Seen so many of them in his lifetime that he needs something a little more interesting to really get him excited.

"Play with yourself," you tell him. The positioning - you standing in front of him, in control - has him eager.

He remembers how difficult you can be all in the name of a good fuck. Knows he's in for a treat - and so does as he's told. Pulls his cock free. Strokes it. Lets his head fall back for a few pumps, then meets your eyes again as he jerks himself off.

You smirk, now. "Cute."

"Cute?" He laughs a little in disbelief, so you just nod.

There's an air about you. An arrogance. It's the attitude he usually gives women. Quite likes it when it's given back to him.

"Cute," you nod with a sickly sweet smile, as you get to your knees. Hands on his thighs, you stroke tenderly. His grip on his cock tightens as his hips push up into his hand.

"Look at you," you continue teasing. "All needy and playing with yourself because you just can't wait to fuck me. It's really cute."

He slows down, as if he wants to defy you, but you just smirk.

"Did I say stop?"

He laughs. Shakes his head. Continues.

"You just wanna watch?" He asks, a little bemused.

"Mhmm," you hum pleasantly. There's a power trip that comes with watching a man wank over you. It's safe. His problem, not yours.

The proximity of his cock to your face does make it hard to resist. You haven't given head in so long. One of your favourite acts, you've never had issues with it, which is why it was never included in bird-related endeavours - and blessed, fortunate Jimin is gonna be the one to receive your pent-up need for a cock in your mouth.

Not yet, though. You'll let him suffer a little longer, first.

You're quite enjoying it, regardless. Jimin's hands are pretty in a way that Jeongguk's aren't; dainty and petite. Well proportioned, and perfectly kept. What he may lack in length, you know he'll make up for in skill.

Gets you thinking about your birds. Gets you thinking that you need to put them into practice.

You get to your feet and Jimin just watches. Says nothing. You're not entirely steady on your feet thanks to the alcohol, but it doesn't matter. You're not standing for long.

Straddling his lap, Jimin nods. Doesn't make a fucking noise. Not even a hum. He's too busy making sure he doesn't wank himself off too well. Would be embarrassing if he came early.

You reach for his hand. Stop him. Guide him to your underwear, instead.

He needs no instruction. Just says, "take your bra off."

And so you do. Another fear set free by Jeongguk. You're doing it. You're really fucking doing it.

The birds? They fucking work .

You find the annoyance you had with Jeongguk, and this whole new reality you're both now living in, melting away.

Perhaps it was jealousy, but not of Jiyeong; jealousy of Jeongguk, and the fact that he was actually making developments in his life thanks to the birds.

Now, you are, too.

You laugh a little. Jimin thinks you're just giggling because he's pushing your underwear to the side. Must be ticklish or something.

He's sat up straight, a hand on his cock, the other stroking over your pussy. Wetter than he expects, he knows you're game to fuck, and is pleased. Had no doubt you would be, but it's always a nice ego boost. Alcohol can fuck with things, making it a little more challenging.

Sure, Jeongguk might have gotten you wet earlier, but it's Jimin who's gotten you this far.

Jimin, Jimin, Jimin.

Jimin , who sinks a finger into you. Jimin , who reads your body as you gasp and adjust to his touch. Jimin , who latches his plump lips around your nipple as he begins to fuck his finger into you.

"Shit," you husk a little breathlessly, which earns a hum of satisfaction from Jimin. His lips are still wrapped around your nipple, sucking tenderly.

He stops only briefly to tease you. "See how much nicer it is when you just do what I tell you to do?"

You laugh, but quickly find yourself moaning again when he pushes a second finger into you. One of your hands is on his shoulder, but the other drops to his wrist and stops him from playing with himself.

"You wanna try?" He flirts. "Wanna see how hard I am for you, huh?"

You nod. "Please."

He guides your hand to his cock. Tilts his head back as you wrap your fingers around his shaft.

"Shit."

His throat looks gorgeous in this light; thick and tense as he swallows. The sensation of your hand is nothing compared to your pussy, but fuck. He likes it. Likes it so much.

"Faster."

You oblige. Wank him off so well he falters for a second or so, torso tense, finger buried in your pussy. He snaps out of it, and adjusts himself. Grips your waist. Fucks his fingers into you so fast there's absolutely zero chance of you staying quiet.

Your breathing gets deeper. So do his fingers. The sound, the feel, it's fucking euphoric - but it scares you. Scares you so much.

Just gotta keep trying.

Jeongguk's words echo in your mind. The only way to get over a fear is to confront it. You know this. You've proven it to yourself before. There's no need to be scared.

Your breathing gets heavier. Jimin mistakes it for pleasure. Doesn't realise you're panicking.

"Wait, wait," you say a little breathlessly.

"You alright?" He asks, stopping as soon as you say so, but not really thinking much of it. Assumes you were too close. Figures you wanna make it last - which would be fine by him.

You nod. Swallow back a harsh breath.

"Yeah, yeah," you say as you pull away from him, and get to the floor between his legs. Again, there's no opposition from Jimin. You're both probably a little too drunk to be making sensible choices, and in the morning, it'll be a miracle if you even remember.

For the time being, all you can focus on is making sure he doesn't know you were on the edge of a freakout. The last thing you want is to have to explain yourself - and how can you do that with a cock in your mouth?

You stroke him gently in your palm, admiring his cock. It's just as pretty as he is. Slightly curved, and a little more flushed in colour than you thought it would be. Half a dozen small, dark veins run up the underside of his shaft.

Makes you think of Jeongguk, and the single, thick vein that runs up his. Curious how different they are. Jimin is smaller than Jeongguk, granted, but you don't really mind. Will be far easier to take in your mouth.

And as you pepper kisses up his cock, you know that it's exactly what you want to do. He grunts when your tongue licks against it. Pushes his hips up. Edges his trousers off.

You follow the instructions of his body language and get them around his ankles, before adjusting your position.

Tongue flat against him, you lick a stripe up his cock, and swirl around his dark head. He curses. Lets his back fall to his mattress. Lifts his hips. Wants more.

You kitten lick around his tip, just to him get a little moany, then press wet kisses against him. Ignoring his pleas for more, you take it at your own pace. Wank him off as your tongue gets acquainted with his balls.

Jimin makes sure to let you know just how much likes that. Is so moany.

His hands tangle in your hair. He's gentle but a little rough when he needs to be. Pulls you a little further up.

"Suck it."

Teasing a little more, you smirk. Spit. The way he moans is unholy.

"Shit."

You're void of thoughts as you wrap your lips around his shaft, taking his length inside your mouth. Your tongue is wet, mouth hot, just how he likes it. He sounds like heaven, and yet you refuse to listen. Don't want anything intruding. Don't wanna hear him say your name, and get a complex over the fact Jeongguk never calls you by name.

Don't wanna think about the fact you can't say 'chess'. Don't wanna think about how soft Jeongguk is with you. Don't wanna think about him, or his eyes, or the forbidden kisses he presses against your skin.

"That's it. Yeah," Jimin sighs into rhythm you're setting. "That's it. Oh shit, yeah."

Too caught up in an internal battle of the mind, you hadn't noticed your pace increase. Depth, too. He's hitting the back of your throat. Making your eyes water. Creating the lewdest sounds - and he fucking loves it. Wet, sloppy? Ugh . For a man as pristine as Jimin is, he sure loves it filthy.

"Shit. Take my cock so well, don't you? God. Mouth is just as good as your pussy. Yeah, like that. Like that. Oh, fuck."

Jimin's body writhes on top of his sheets, face contorted from the sheer pleasure of your mouth around his cock. Doesn't give a fuck about sex. Wants his cum down your throat. His hands bunch in your hair, as his hips pick up a little momentum. The noises you're making double. Treble. So do his.

"Gonna cum," he rasps. Hisses as he leans his head into his shoulder and bites down on his own skin just to soften his moans. Doesn't help. "Gonna fuckin' cum."

He curses. Whines. Writhes. Stalls his hips, but keeps your head pressed down right to the base of his cock as he begins to shudder beneath you. His balls are tight as they release, his cock already at the back of your throat as he pours his cum down it. The spurts are short, sharp. Hot. Sordid.

And once they're done? He laughs like a fucking angel. Makes you smile. Feels like a job well done.

"Shit," he murmurs.

Eyes closed, he stays in the exact same position as his chest heaves, a small trail of evidence leaking onto his abdomen. He's breathless as he tries to speak.

"Sorry. That was... Just... gimmie a minute. Shit. You good?"

"Good," you nod, sitting back on your heels.

You know Jimin. Have been here before. You know this is where the night ends. Know that he'll be out cold within five minutes.

"C'mon," you tap his knee. "Bed. Don't wanna fall asleep like this."

He nods. "Yeah, yeah. Just... a minute."

"No," you laugh, moving his ankles to take his trousers off fully, before getting to your feet. "Get into bed, you mess."

"Already in bed," he says, still grinning from his orgasm.

"You know what I mean."

"You gonna join? I'll make it up to you in the morning."

You don't reply. Just head to the kitchen to get him some water. Glance at the door to see if Jeongguk's shoes are there, but there's no evidence of his Chuck Taylors. You purse your lips and nod. Sigh so deeply it feels like you've not taken a breath for days.

The clock on the oven reads 04:32. It doesn't take a genius to work out where he is.

He's where he should be , your mind berates you. Wouldn't be there had it not been for you.

And so when you return to Jimin's room, pleased to find him tucked up into bed now, you crawl in beside him.

Sure, you failed at one thing already tonight, but sharing a bed is something you never do. You never stay the night. You never wake up with the people you fuck about with. It's too intimate.

The prospect of Jimin actually making it up to you in the morning? It terrifies you.

Just gotta keep trying.

You can never succeed if you don't.

"Welcome," Jimin mumbles, ready to say goodbye to the world for a few hours.

He reaches out to check the distance between you both. You're a little further than he'd like, but isn't gonna pull you closer. Is too tired. He enjoys that you're still wearing just your underwear. Will make it easier in the morning for a lazy hangover fuck.

"Thanks for having me," you whisper back in good humour.

Yet when Jimin does drift off, all you can do is lie on your back and stare at the ceiling, hands flat against your stomach. There's no clock in his room, so all you hear is silence. It's maddening. The darkness consumes you. Reminds you of Jeongguk. His childhood fear. Makes you all the more aware of your own fears.

You can feel your chest begin to heave again. Jimin doesn't stir. If you just pretend like you're fine, you'll be fine. Just pretend. Just keep trying. Ignore the warmth of his body, and your eyes as tears begin to prick at them. Ignore, dismiss, forget. You don't have to let this fear get the better of you.

But the pressure is too heavy and you can feel the weight of it imploding on your chest. His duvet feels like an iron blanket, and you need to get out before it suffocates you entirely.

Slow as you do so, in a bid not to wake him, you slip out from his bed.

Jimin wouldn't have stirred either way. He's always out like a light after nights out.

The fear manifests in so many different ways, though. Feels like you're scared of everything . Of leaving, of getting caught, of having to answer for yourself.

You know, deep down, in your heart of hearts, that Jimin could not care less if you leave or stay. You know there are no consequences to this. You know this.

And still, you're silent as you tiptoe around his bed, and slip back into your dress. You don't worry about your bra - will just tuck it into your coat pocket. You know it's hooked over the arm of the sofa, so you waste no time.

Just need to get out. Need to get away. Get away from the guilt that you feel, and from the residual ache in your chest. It's been there all evening. You think if you get fresh air, get out of the apartment, that it will ease.

But as you're sneaking out of Jimin's room, feet bare, bra in hand, Jeongguk is sneaking back home.

He's quiet as a mouse, but your eyes are on the door the second he clicks it open. You say nothing. Think that maybe he'll go straight into his room without glancing into the living area - but he's fucking parched and needs water before he can even think about sleeping. Half thinks he might hop straight into the shower.

Stops dead in his tracks when he sees you. The only light in the room is coming from the hob light left on in the kitchen. Your glitter catches in it. So do your tears.

"Hey," he whispers so quietly it sort of croaks out of his throat.

There's an air of caution about him, fearful of coming too close. The look on your face... he knows it. Doesn't like it. Doesn't know what the fuck to do. Just knows that as you start to sob, he sees red.

"Hey, hey, hey," he coos as he tosses his phone and wallet on the sofa and rushes towards you. Put his palms on the sides of your arms and bows his neck to look you in the eye. His face is warped with concern as you struggle to get your breathing straight.

"What's up? Hey?" he coos again, stroking up your arms. The chiffon of your dress bunches beneath his hands, and he detests it. Feels like it's grating off a layer of his skin. Funny. He'd liked it earlier. Hates it now. Wishes your skin was bare. "B?"

You just shake your head. Can't form words. Are so disappointed in yourself. So furious that you just can't just be fucking normal. All you can do is try and sniff back your tears, but it's redundant.

"What is it?" Jeongguk looks at you with crazed eyes, dark and foreboding, desperate to see inside your mind. He's only seen you like this once - after Seokjin had fucked you over the last time - and so his mind jumps. He stands up straighter. Looks over your shoulder to the room you've just left. "Where is he? What the fuck did he do?!"

The rage that swells inside Jeongguks chest is lethal. He has to loosen his grip on you because he can't stop himself from balling his fists up.

"No, no, no!" You panic, grabbing onto him before he can lunge for Jimin's room. He almost shakes you off. Almost doesn't wanna listen. Almost lets the fury get the better of him - but then your voice shakes and he knows that he needs to pay attention to you. "Gguk, no. Please. Wasn't him. Was me ."

He doesn't understand what the fuck is going on. Is still drunk. Swallows back his rage, and looks down at you. Tilts your head up with his forefinger. Gets a read on your eyes.

You're covered in glitter, even despite your wet cheeks. You look so fucking sad, yet painfully beautiful. Jeongguk can't understand what the fuck is going on with his head.

He knows he's pissed off.

Knows that if Jimin came out of his room he'd probably smack him regardless of whatever's happened.

Knows he's drunk, so knows he'd regret it in the morning.

Knows he hates how fucking upset you look.

Knows he hates how much he wants to kiss you, still.

Knows that it's the last thing he can do. Hates that, too.

"The fuck happened, B?" He whispers, and lets his thumb wipe at your cheek. Doesn't care that he'll end up covered in glitter. "Hey?"

You just shake your head. Sob again because it's all so pathetic.

"I can't do it. I thought that I could, and I tried, and I thought it would be fine but I just-" you laugh pitifully. Shrug. Sob harder when Jeongguk pulls you into his chest for a hug.

His shirt muffles the short, sharp breaths you take for air, his strong arms tight around your shoulders.

"This shit isn't linear, B," he whispers, pressing a kiss into the crown of your head. "This shit's complicated. We're not gonna get it right every time."

He says all the right things, and it just makes it even worse. He is getting it right. He is facing his fears in a way that feels linear. Feels like he's doing okay, while you're stuck in this state of limbo.

"C'mon," he says, pulling away from you and reaching over for your coat from the sofa. Holds out his hand. Waits for you to take it. When you do, he holds it just as tightly as he had hugged you. Leads you out of the sitting area, and towards his room.

And you just go. No hesitation.

The truth of the matter is that you would follow Jeongguk into darkness - even if he was scared. You trust him. Trust that you're safe with him.

There's nothing you can say, nothing you can do that will make him run for the hills. See, Jeongguk cares in a way that doesn't feel entirely normal. Would bend over backwards for you even if it broke his back.

You'd never ask him to, but you'd never need to. He'd just simply do it.

He's never discussed it with anyone. Never explained the way he feels so inclined to keep you sparkling. Just does it as if it's his life's quest. Thinks that maybe he was an astronomer in a past life or something.

But he's drunk, and these thoughts are all frivolous. He won't remember any of them in the morning.

As you enter the room, you immediately notice a bird on his bed. Jeongguk drops your hand. Picks it up. Doesn't look at it, not even to assess who it belongs to. Just tosses it to a small pile on his desk.

There are three of them, now. All unchecked, because he's supposed to be being 'good'.

He took things too far in the bathroom of the club earlier. Was too flirty. Felt guilty. It's why he left so abruptly - but was met with an argument almost as soon as he made it to the club Jiyeong was in. Had to defend your friendship, and felt like a piece of shit doing so.

Felt shitty for the way he'd been with you; felt shitty for both of the girls he wronged in the process; felt shitty for the attack on his character.

Yeah, he knew he fucked up - but Jiyeong didn't know that. After a few drinks, she decided that she wanted to fight and apparently he was the easiest target. Lucky for her, she found his weak spot pretty early on: you .

Jeongguk doesn't say anything. Doesn't know what to say. Pulls a shirt from the clothes rail, and tosses it on his bed.

"Here. Get changed. I'm just gonna grab some water. Want some?"

You shake your head. Tell him it's fine.

He brings a pint glass regardless. Knows you'll need some.

You're stood by his window, watching the early morning traffic make its way through town. It's still dark outside, and it's quiet, so there's not much to look at - but in all honesty, you're trying to avoid looking at Jeongguk. Don't wanna leave, but know you really shouldn't stay, either.

Lungs still stuttering a little in your chest, you dab at your cheeks with the back of your hand. Feel quite embarrassed about it all.

His shirt fits you like a dress, and your actual dress is folded over his desk chair. You've stolen the hairband of yours that had been left on his bedside table a few weeks ago and have put your hair up into a bun. Loose strands wisp around your neck, and it just reminds him of the bathroom, and how close he was to just fucking everything up.

"Hey," he says softly, and waits for you to turn and face him before he continues.

Your mascara is all smudged, and your cheeks are rosy, but the small smile you present him is sweet. Fake as fuck, and he knows it, but he appreciates you're trying not to look sad. Still doesn't know what went wrong, but he's not gonna force it out of you.

"Bathroom. Teeth, then bed. Okay?"

You nod.

Assume he means alone, but say nothing as he follows you to the bathroom. Rummages in the cupboard for the packet of spare toothbrushes, and is silent as he passes you the toothpaste.

It's curious how at ease you both seem to be as you brush your teeth together, avoiding eye contact in the mirror ahead of you.

He finishes first, but it's only because you get in this weird competition mode whenever you brush your teeth around other people. Never wanna be the first to wash it all away.

Jeongguk doesn't care. He's drunk, and he wants to fuckin' sleep. Still, he waits for you by the door of the bathroom. Turns the light off, and rests his hand on the small of your back as he guides you through the apartment.

You set about throwing a couple of pillows off his bed and onto the floor - but he just follows their trajectory and picks them up. Tosses them back on his bed.

"Not yet. In," he nods to his bed. "You're gonna talk to me first. Then you can make your little nest, okay? Gotta talk first."

You don't understand why. Figure you can talk from your blanket haven on his floor - but he wants quiet. Doesn't wanna have strain his fuckin' ears trying to hear you. God, his mood is foul .

And yet he's so gentle. So soft in how he directs you. Calm, and comforting in the way he gets into his bed beside you. Doesn't give a shit about what you may or may not have done across the hallway in Jimin's room as he pulls you in for a hug. Couldn't care less.

All he cares about is the fact that you were in fucking tears when he arrived home. His pride? Nothing compared to how protective he feels over you.

"There's nothing really to talk about," you say before he can get any questions in. His nose nestles into your hair. You tighten your grip around his slim waist. He's warm to the touch, and it soothes the chill notion of failure that resides in your heart.

"I find that hard to believe."

"Just had too much to drink," you deflect. It's not entirely a lie. Not entirely the truth either, but that's neither here nor there.

"I've seen you drunk more times than I can remember," he whispers. "You're not a crier. Not really."

Not like Jiyeong is. God. So many tears. So many tears over fucking nothing.

Perhaps it's shitty of him to think so. Perhaps it's shitty of him to view your tears as more worthy than hers.

"Was the rum," you whisper with a little humour. "Never normally drink rum."

"Bullshit, Byeol," he says. Hugs you even tighter. "What are we gonna do with you, huh?"

You shrug. Laugh. Hold back a sob.

"Hey," he coos. "C'mon. You don't need to cry. It's okay."

"I don't even know why I am," you half laugh but it's cut off but your throat choking on yet another sob. It's fucking mortifying by this point.

"I just," you sniff. "Just don't think I'm ready, yet. No one's fault."

Jeongguk says nothing. Holds his tongue. The anger he felt earlier returns, but it's directed at no one but himself. He's the one who told you to hook up with Jimin. He's the one who said you'd be fine. It's his fault.

If you knew he thought this, you'd be just as annoyed as he is.

You're a big girl. You make your own decisions. You make your own mistakes.

"I shouldn't have pushed you," he whispers. You can hear the thud, thud, thud of his heart in his chest. It's soft. The scent of his aftershave acts like a sleep remedy. May as well be lavender. Has you forgetting your woes.

"You were trying to be a good friend," you shake your head against his chest. The movement lets his nose nestle even further into your hair.

"I should have stayed."

Again, you protest. "You've got a life to live, Koo. Can't always be checking up on me."

You pause. Think he's about to respond, so get a final word in. "You should have said goodbye, though. That was rude."

"I know it was," he admits. It had been deliberate. Hates that he left, now. Maybe if he had stayed, you wouldn't have ended your night in tears. "I'm sorry."

"Please don't say sorry," you mumble quietly.

"But I am."

"But you needn't be."

"Doesn't matter. Still am."

"Gguk," you sigh, and push yourself against his chest so you can look at him. He just shakes his head. Pulls you back in.

"It's late, B," he murmurs drowzily. Really does not have the energy to bicker with you. The sun's gonna rise soon. "Let's forget it, okay? Talk about it in the morning."

And so you just nod. Tell him okay. Indulge in the feeling of safety that Jeongguk offers you in the refuge of his arms for a little while longer. Just for a second or so.

Somewhere between the crying and the comfort found in your friend, your brain gets things a little muddled. Tells you that it'll be okay if you close your eyes for a moment. Not for long. Just long enough to feel better.

Thing is, you've both had too much to drink. Are both tired. Are both perfectly content as your legs curl up, and your feet rest against his thighs. Pay it no mind when his legs part for yours to tangle with his.

In fact, you both pretend to be asleep so that you don't have to address the fact that Jeongguk's got a fucking semi again. Just can't bloody help himself.

Except it only takes just a matter of minutes for make-believe to turn into reality.

Jeongguk sleeps.

So do you.

It's easy. Not a single tear. Your heart rate is perfectly normal. In fact, it stays at a calm level through the night, as if you've been lulled into sleep by you're very own metronome.

In a way, you have been - it's just the beating of Jeongguk's heart, and the warmth of his body that have you pacified.

On his desk lies a slipshod bird with your handwriting scrawled inside it. As the sun rises, it watches on. Is pleased. The words inscribed in its wings are rendered useless, for you're already doing it.

You're sharing a bed. Sure maybe it's not as conventional or straight forward as it should be, but since when have any of the birds been entirely normal?

It's apt. Just right. As it should be.

You wake first.

Stare at the birds.

Try not to think too hard about, well, anything from the night before.

When Jeongguk wakes, he does the exact same thing. Is pleased you haven't left.

You can do it.

No words are spoken. No small talk exchanged. No admittance of failure from either of you. No cheer of success. Just the heavy silence of confusion.

He'll chalk it up to the comedown of an adrenaline rush. Had spent a good couple of hours fighting with a girl who he barely fucking knows, trying to reassure her that you're nothing to worry about.

As he realises he's holding your hand beneath the duvet, he becomes aware that maybe he'd been lying the entire time.

Not intentionally. God, it's all so fucked.

Jeongguk doesn't want to be a liar.

But he also doesn't want to stop holding your hand.

"I should go," you tell him, and he knows you're right. Knows if Jimin has woken up to find no trace of you, but your shoes by the sofa, you're both fucked. Have no idea how he'd explain it away.

His chest tightens. Face contorts. Thinking about Jimin makes him feel hot beneath his skin. Irate.

This is not fucking normal.

"Let me check the coast is clear, first," he says, slipping out of the duvet and into the cold, harsh reality of day.

Jeongguk's always enjoyed how much a cocoon his room becomes with you in it; a sanctuary, in a way. Somewhere to seek refuge.

Feels claustrophobic, now. You both have a vague awareness of how uncomfortable it's become.

"Out like a light," Jeongguk says as he returns. You're back in your party dress, his shirt hung up again on his clothing rail. "I can call a cab-"

"No," you shake your head. "It's cool. I need to be off."

The goodbye is awkward. Neither of you know what the fuck to do. You take the stairs, because the elevator will make you feel queasy, and order your own taxi instead. Just wanna be out of Jeongguk's hair. Out of their apartment block.

"The fuck are you doing?" Jeongguk hisses at himself in the mirror. Rubs his hand over his face, and pushes it back into his hair. Shakes his head. Softly taps the wall with a closed fist. "This is not who you fuckin' are. Shit ."

All he knows is that you're gone, and he hates it even more than he hates knowing he wrecked everything the night before.

Jiyeong's fucking mental after a few drinks, he thinks, which doesn't bode well for the future of their relationship. He knows it dead in the water. Was fucked the second she started saying shit about you that he was never gonna let fly. Was doubly fucked when he arrived home and found you in a sorry fuckin' state, and decided that you meant more to him than she did.

Of course you do, though. You're friends .

Friends who fall asleep with their legs tangled together, and wake up holding hands.

He's had a friend like that before.

Ended in tears, granted, but he still considers her his best friend.

Know he can't let it happen again .

Yet he finds himself pulling a pair of shoes over his heels and ignoring a sleepy Jimin wandering into the sitting room, as he charges out of the apartment door. Presses the elevator button, but doesn't wanna wait for it.

It's on the ground floor, according the the small screen above it. He assumes you've just reached it. So, instead, he hurtles down the stairs. Runs so fucking fast he's practically flying and is in the lobby within a matter of minutes.

Just in time to watch you get in a taxi, and head back home.

"Fuck," he shouts, now as the cab disappears around the corner. Lets his head hang back, crown resting between his shoulder blades.

" Fuck."

He regains his posture, and kicks out at the decorative pillar, before crouching to floor. What a sorry state he's in. Doesn't even know why. Didn't have a plan for what he'd say if he caught up with you. Has no idea why he was so hellbent on keeping you close.

"Fuck!"

The elevator dings. Jeongguk stands. Looks over towards it. There's no one in there - but there is a box of recycling that he recognises from his apartment, that Jimin must have put there in the hopes that Jeongguk would take it to the trash pile by the entryway.

He sighs. Shakes his head. Grabs the recycling, and puts it in the designated area - then sulks all the way up to his floor.

When he returns, Jimin's eating a bowl of dry cornflakes. "The fuck was that about?"

Jeongguk says nothing. Slams his bedroom door shut. Faceplants his bed. Smells your perfume. Yells into his duvet.

This is not good.

In fact, this is very very bad.

Catastrophic, some would say.

It's the product of his own bad decisions, and that's what pisses him off the most.

What pisses him off even more?

The teeny tiny origami bird that decides now is the perfect time to fall. It lands on his head and bounces down to curve of his spine. Resides there happily. Really fuckin' pisses Jeongguk off.

"Oh, get fucked," he whines into his sheets. Reaches around for it. Opens it up. Reads it. Scowls. ' Admit your feelings'. He screws it up. Chucks it across his bedroom floor. Feels bad immediately. It's one of his, which lessens the guilt, but doesn't alleviate it entirely.

"So," Jimin comes to stand by Jeongguk's door as he crunches down on his cornflakes. "The fuck is going on with you?"

"Nothing," Jeongguk huffs into his duvet.

"Alright," Jimin smirks.

He's known Jeongguk long enough to know behaviours like this are never normal. He's composed to a fault at all times, even when he's annoyed.

This? Yeah, this is giving Hayun-induced-meltdown-era energy.

There's one significant change, though. One that Jimin finds all rather amusing.

"Let me rephrase," he taunts his friend. Fucking idiot. It's so obvious, now. Jimin's amazed he didn't realise sooner. "What's Disco Ball's bra doing over the back of your chair?"

Jeongguk's blood runs cold.

"Fuck."

21 notes · View notes

capricornwriter5 · 1 year

Text

OUR SEESAW - Chapter 15

Pairing: Min Yoongi x female OC

Genre: idol au, Suga X female OC, smut, fluff, angst, college romance, friends to lovers, exes to lovers, happy ending. ⚠️Warning: mentions of mental health affections, drugs, explicit sex

Words: 6k

➳ Prev. Chapter

Chapter 15 - Burning Up

Woosung and Hobi's birthday came, and the singer had offered his house for a pre-celebration with his closest circle. It wasn't supposed to be a huge party, just drinking some cocktails and eating some snacks.

Woosung had barely finished bathing and was walking around the house shirtless with his hair still soaked when Emmy knocked on his door.

“Hi! You came ear...” Unable to finish his sentence, Woosung gawked at his friend, his drool practically spilling out. She looked breathtaking in a tiny black dress. "Damn, Emm!"

The girl didn't reply, as she was very busy picking up a box of champagne bottles. "Directly from France to you, happy birthday!" She congratulated smiling from ear to ear and handing them to him.

“Wow… looks like someone's feeling better."

"Has anyone else arrived yet?"

"No, it's still too early, they'll be here in an hour, maybe an hour and a half."

"So... do we have time?"

Woosung was placing the champagne on a table, but upon hearing his friend's words, he turned around with a leering look. "I haven't heard those words in a long time. I thought you didn't want..."

"That I didn't want? Woo, you've known me for YEARS, how do you say something like that? But tell me, what can you offer today?"

"Whatever you want, as always..." He answered in an alluring manner.

"Are you sure we have enough time?"

The eyes, the smile, the way she held Woosung's hands to make him hurry, everything, absolutely all of Emmy's body language showed the excitement she felt.

“That's not a problem, time has never been. And if you're worried about that, it's nothing a phone call can't fix.”

As if that apartment were her home, Emmy walked to Woosung's room with him, and that's when the singer understood what his friend meant. Emm wasn't looking to sleep with him like in the old days, she wanted the drug that Woosung kept.

The singer laughed at himself and was about to try to convince her to have fun together, but seeing what Emmy was pulling out, his eyes widened exaggeratedly.

“Are you planning to mix those two?”

"It's not the first time, why are you surprised?"

"I thought you didn't want something so wild for today."

"Hey! It's your birthday and Hobi's, my two best friends! How can I not celebrate it as it deserves?"

"Sure..." Silently, he watched as Emm used two different types of drugs, and although it was not common for him, he got a little anxious about it. "Emm, you haven't been okay and that's a bit strong, don't you think you should tone it down a bit?"

"This is nothing."

For a few minutes, Woosung did nothing but pay attention to her, dismayed that she would lose control too quickly; however, the minutes passed, and Emmy looked fine.

"What's up with you? When did you start to be the serious and responsible friend?”

"At least she's not yelling at me for not helping Yoongi..." he thought while taking a little of what Emmy had consumed.

Thus, a while passed in which both talked and laughed remembering their last birthdays.

"I had forgotten how wild turned out to be last year's party."

“Do you actually remember anything from that day, Woo? You were so wasted.”

"What I still don't quite understand is how we got to the beach so fast. I mean… we were in the heart of the city and suddenly the sea was in front of me.”

"You say that like you haven't done the same thing countless times." Woosung laughed, and after smoking from the joint he held in his fingers, he remained silent. "What's going on?"

“Nothing, I was just remembering that night. You looked gorgeous, like today… ” Woosung was about to caress Emmy's leg, but the girl didn't allow him, and standing up, she cleared her throat. “Come on, Emm, what's up with you lately, huh? It had never been so long since we last fucked. How much longer will I need to wait?"

Thinking it was a joke, the girl couldn't help but laugh; yet, Woosung looked at her from head to toe, making his intentions more than clear.

"You're joking, right?"

“When have I ever joked about this? I've always taken sex very seriously, mainly if it's with you because it's amazing.” He simply explained.

"Woosung, I have a boyfriend."

"So what? I have had them too, but that has never been an impediment. We're the perfect match, no strings attached, no…”

“I told you that my relationship with Yoongi is serious.”

“I know, I'm not telling you to break up with him. Besides, you told me that nothing would change between us. And look at us now, talking like two average friends when we could be fucking as we’ve done for years.”

“I'm not single anymore, and there's no way I'm gonna risk my relationship."

Emmy called it quits, but for the musician it was not over. It was the first time Emmy had rejected him and she didn't seem to want to change her mind.

"Emm, what the fuck? Are you serious? It's been MONTHS since we were last together. What's different that you're dating Yoongi now? It's just sex."

Ironically, that came out from the only person in that room for whom those words made no sense. He had wanted to convince himself that it was just sex, but it never really was. Knowing that he wasn't going to have anything serious with Emmy, he had settled for sleeping with her. At least for a few nights, he could feel that they were more than friends. If he had managed to be “chill” with the whole Yoongi situation, it was only because he could swear that he and Emmy would continue to have their casual sexual encounters.

“Woo, I truly care about Yoongi.”

"Are you telling me that you went to Capri and didn't sleep with anyone?"

"That's exactly what I'm telling you. Yoongi means too much to me to play with him. I had never thought that I could have something like that with someone, but I have it with him."

“So, you and I don't…?”

"No, Woo. But you have so many beautiful girls waiting for you!”

Emmy winked at him, having no idea what her best friend really felt. Woosung had always been so open with all his relationships and so casual in referring to his sexual encounters, that Emmy could never imagine that he might feel something else. Added to the musician's true feelings, Woosung's pride was hurt that night. It was the first time he heard a no coming from someone’s lips, even worse, from his best friend’s lips, the person with whom he had started his sexual life, with whom he had lived endless experiences and with whom, deep down, he always thought he would have a future.

At that time Woosung couldn't understand two basic things. The first, how much Emmy loved Yoongi, and the second, how dysfunctional he and Emmy would be together. There was no way in which a serious relationship between the two of them could work, they had many issues to resolve. His blindness and pride were about to lead him to make a whole scene of jealousy saying how absurd monogamy seemed to him; however, Woosung was speechless when he saw his friend consuming again.

"Emmy, what…?"

"I think they're knocking on the door. While you open, I'll clean this and go to the bathroom."

************

Since Yoongi had to work late that night, he could only make it to the celebration quite late into the night. He would not miss it just because he had promised Emmy that he would accompany her and because he had given his word to Hobi that he would go; yet something about that party gave him a bad feeling. Jin and Namjoon's messages only confirmed what he believed. They both told him to hurry up because he was missing the best party of his life. And no wonder, Hobi was the life of the party, and as such, he planned quite a lively celebration. Moreover, Woosung had the money and friends to make it an unforgettable night.

Once at the party, Yoongi didn't even have time to suffer from his social anxiety, for the first thing he ran into was his girlfriend, who left him in total shock. Firstly, the girl looked gorgeous, and secondly, Yoongi had never seen her play the popular girl role better than she did that night. She spoke with everyone, laughed with everyone, toasted with many people, and did everything with such naturalness that anyone would buy it. In fact, she seemed to have no trace of the quiet, serious, vulnerable, and even melancholy girl who would come out in front of the piano or when she was alone with Yoongi.

The musician couldn't understand how that was the same person who hadn't eaten in days and who looked overly exhausted. How the hell did she manage to compose herself like that overnight?

A big hug was not enough to greet the musician, who inevitably blushed due to the kiss that Emmy stole from him. The girl grabbed his hand and took him with her to where Jin, Namjoon, Nara, and Hobi were. Sitting next to each other, Yoongi smiled tenderly at Emmy and leaned closer to speak in her ear.

“You look gorgeous, freckles. Are you feeling better now?"

"I'm great!" She responded with a beautiful smile.

Hobi's joy that Yoongi had gone to his birthday led him to distract the musician more than once. Countless times the dancer would take Yoongi along with Namjoon and Jin. They all wanted him to enjoy that night like they did, so they didn't stop buying shots; also, taking advantage that the bar they were in had so many floors with different music, they took the musician on tours that ended with Jin and Namjoon talking to girls, Hobi dancing with strangers, and Yoongi laughing with new drinks in his hand. Due to this, Yoongi couldn't see the number of times Emmy “went to the bathroom” and come back with more energy. Yet, Woosung noticed it and tried to warn Emmy, but he failed caused of how euphoric she was.

Getting to escape from his friends, Yoongi came back to look for his girlfriend and found her with a new group of people. One glance was enough for Yoongi to get an idea of them. Dressed in garments from the most exclusive and luxurious brands, this entire group exuded wealth; undoubtedly, they had been born with silver spoons in their mouths. However, that didn't catch Yoongi's attention, after all, he had gotten used to that by Emmy's side. What captured his attention was the air of debauchery that surrounded them.

Their leering eyes and evil smirks made it clear that they had lived and experienced more than anyone else at that party. Still, none of them looked like a young rookie who would lose control that simple.

Paying closer attention, Yoongi noticed that one of the girls who was talking to his girlfriend, and actually going with her to the bathroom, was the same one he had seen a while ago on another of the floors of the place. The girl tried to approach him to invite him to have a drink; however, Yoongi turned her down. She kept insisting, and even though Yoongi was patient, she annoyed him to the point that he had to tell her to leave him alone, which caused him to earn some rather nasty comments.

He decided to sit down and wait for Emmy to come back.

"Yoongs, there you are! The boys have hogged you all night." She joked sitting next to him. "How did you escape?"

"Namjoon insisted on Hobi drinking more shots and Jin was talking to Nara."

"Do you think they'll get back together?"

"I hope so, he doesn't stop talking about her. But who am I to judge? He says I'm always talking about you, and I think he's right." Emmy giggled as Yoongi interlaced his fingers with hers.

Next to her diamond watch was a hand-braided man's bracelet Emmy had stolen from Yoongi since one of their first piano lessons. She never took it off and Yoongi couldn't help but find that cute. Yet, he could not comment on it, because thanks to the lights he was able to see Emmy's hand better and noticed how pale it was. He instantly raised his gaze to his girl's face and not even with the blush she was using she couldn't hide her paleness. Besides, he sensed how cold her hand was. What had happened? She wasn't like that before he went with the guys for the last time.

"Freckles you're freezing, do you want my jacket?"

"Freezing? That's weird, I don't feel any cold."

"Is that Emmy's boyfriend?" Jiyu, the girl who tried to hit on Yoongi, asked Woosung. She was the granddaughter of the directors of the most important broadcasting network in Korea.

“Hmhm…” The musician replied without wanting to go into much detail.

“Well, he's very handsome, but… who is he? His clothes are pretty basic, luckily he is hot." She commented laughing.

"Why do you want to know, Jiyu? Leave them alone, Emm's happy." The singer responded.

"I wanted to ask the same thing." Said another of the girls, who didn't hesitate to check Yoongi from head to toe. "I mean, I can see why she's dating him, but her boyfriend?" The young woman, heiress to an entire fashion empire, agreed with her friend's comment.

"Who are his parents?" This time was a man the one talking. He came from an important family whose political influence would intimidate anyone.

"I don't know," Woosung replied. “What a lame topic.”

"Lame?" The second girl asked ruining yet another attempt by Woosung to divert the conversation. “We're talking about Emm with a boyfriend, that's anything but boring. Come on, tell us a little more, you are closer to her."

"There's nothing to tell, just that she's happy with him."

"Are you telling me that SHE is gonna settle for a nobody?" The boy asked letting out a wry laugh.

"Hey! Don't be a jerk."

“Woosung, we say this for her own good! You're her friend, you should warn her what will happen if she goes out with someone like that. Emmy's beautiful and popular, but that doesn't exempt her from having to take care of her image. Can you imagine what everyone will say? While Seri's dating who will easily be the next prime minister, Emm's dating someone no one knows who he is." Jiyu wasn't that nasty, but she couldn't bear the idea that Yoongi had rejected her.

“Let her date whoever she wants. Why are we talking about something so serious TODAY? It's enough!" Woosung said, brushing the comments away with his hands and making them laugh. "Look, here comes Nara!" Woosung had never been more grateful to see his friend there.

Meanwhile, Emmy was introducing Yoongi to Woosung's band members. At first, she thought that her boyfriend would treat them with the same seriousness and coldness that he used the first time he met Woosung. Yet, it was rather the opposite, and soon the four of them were comfortably talking, they even made several jokes, for they would never imagine that that boy who looked so serious could be so nice.

After a while, the original group regathered, it was about midnight, and they wanted to toast all together. However, Emmy was not even able to bring the glass to her lips, her pulse trembled uncontrollably from so much drug, so she ended up throwing the champagne at her and Yoongi, who tried to help her.

"Yoongi, I'm sorry!" Emmy's voice had risen unnecessarily as she tried to clean her boyfriend's shirt, but she cleaned everything except where Yoongi's shirt was OBVIOUSLY wet.

"It's okay, baby. It will dry up."

"I'm so sorry!" Emmy stood on her toes to hug him; however, she only got Yoongi to accidentally throw his glass while trying to push it away from her. "Oh, not again! Why am I this clumsy today?”

Namjoon, Jin, Hobi, and Nara thought that their friend had drunk too much, and they joked about it. On the other hand, something really strange happened. Yoongi and Woosung exchanged worried glances. They both knew that Emmy was not okay.

“Emm…” Yoongi whispered taking her hands before she bent down to pick up what was left of the cup. “My love, it's okay, you're not going to pick anything up, it's dangerous. Let's sit down for a while, okay?"

"Just let me go to the bathroom for a moment."

Before Nara could offer to accompany her, Emmy took her bag where she kept what was left of her drug. On the way to the bathroom, several people greeted her, but she did not pay attention to anyone, in her mind there was only being alone in the bathroom to be able to consume a little more.

However, shortly before reaching the bathroom, someone took her wrist, it was Woosung, who got close enough for her to hear him well. "Stop it."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about, you've been consuming for hours."

“Oh! Come on, Woosung! Drop it, this role doesn't fit you."

“Emmy, don't be an idiot! Precisely because I’m the one telling you this you should listen and stop.”

"Why don't you get off my back?"

"Because you're stoned as fuck!"

From where he was sitting, Yoongi could see Woosung and Emmy talking. At first, he wanted to ignore the situation and not be bothered by his jealousy; but he couldn't and kept watching. After all, it seemed strange to him to see Woosung's face so serious.

"Move, Woosung."

"Honey, you're shaking, look at your hands."

"That's nothing."

"Emmy, go sit down, you're gonna make a fool of yourself if you continue… Emm!" He tried to call, but the girl had left him talking to himself.

Woosung's warning should have been taken seriously, but Emmy was too stubborn and drugged to accept it. However, the pressure she felt on her chest after consuming that last time in the bathroom made her stop for a moment. She looked at the mirror and started to feel repulsed at herself. Yet, the drugs didn't let her think clearly, she couldn't even see well, her senses were so sharpened that the lights that surrounded the mirror began to make her dizzy.

“Shit…” she whispered, holding on to the sink and taking a deep breath.

She already knew what was happening to her, she had consumed too much, and her body was demanding her to stop. She tried to regulate her breathing, even wetting her face a little to react. She was scared, but it wasn't the first time it had happened to her, she knew she could handle it. What she didn't count on was someone else walking into the bathroom right during her breakdown.

Emmy's gasp wasn't enough expression for the shock it had on her to see a girl identical to her sister. According to Emm, the girl was the same height, the same platinum hair, and the same cold gaze. Emmy was convinced that she was her sister and that she had found her drugged in a bathroom. In other circumstances, Emm would have been able to see the HUGE difference between that girl and Seri. They looked a bit alike, but not enough to send her into that state of panic.

"Emm, are you alright?" The girl knew who Emmy was, as she was one of Woosung's many friends. She tried to get closer, but Emmy jerked away from her and ran out of the bathroom.

This time not only Woosung was near the bathroom, Yoongi was also there. The interaction between his girlfriend and the singer had made him uneasy; besides, Woosung gave him a look in which he was clearly asking the musician for help.

Emmy came out of the bathroom so hysterical that she was practically running. She walked fast enough that Woosung couldn't stop her, and he was the one closest to her. She violently collided with a waiter who was carrying a huge box full of beer bottles on his shoulder. As expected, both Emmy and the waiter fell over. But that was not all, the box landed right on Jiyu's table, where she was talking with the rest of her group. Everything that happened next was chaotic, as the girl got her dress soaked in beer and she was madly making a whole scandal. The rest of the people were also enraged with the waiter, since the beers not only wet Jiyu's dress, but also their cellphones, wallets, and other belongings.

Woosung quickly walked over to the table to calm down his friends while Yoongi picked up his girlfriend off the floor. Yet, the screams of Jiyu were out of control. The waiter could not do more than lower his head and accept all her humiliations, something that deeply annoyed Emmy and led her to let go of Yoongi's arms.

"Jiyu, stop yelling at him, it wasn't his fault."

"Emmy, stay out! You have no idea what this idiot just did! This dress is haute couture!”

“I already told you it wasn't his fault! I'll pay you back, but stop yelling at him. Can't you be less rude?"

"I don't need your charity, save it for your boyfriend." Jiyu replied.

Yoongi could swear that he had never seen a look like Emmy's at that moment, it was even worse than the one she had when she found out what had happened to Yoongi's songs.

Woosung's jaw dropped upon hearing that comment. He didn't like Yoongi, but he would never dare to say something like that; nonetheless, what impressed him even more was the musician's reaction. The first thing Yoongi did was to stand in front of Emmy and try to calm her down, if he let her, he knew that she was capable of making an even worse scene. Even with his pride hurt, Yoongi didn't think of him for a second.

"What did you say?!" Emmy asked Jiyu trying to move Yoongi.

"Freckles, listen to me! Calm down."

“I said save your charity work for people who need it. Who do you think you're dealing with, Emmy? How dare you offer money TO ME?”

"Don't you dare, Jiyu!" Emmy warned completely losing her temper and after fleeing from Yoongi, she slapped Jiyu with such rage that her hand was printed on Jiyu's cheek.

"Emmy!" Yoongi said a little louder as he grabbed her by the wrist.

Things began to escalate quickly, soon Jiyu's friends had also gotten into the discussion, as well as Nara, who arrived in seconds to defend her friend.

Yoongi didn't want to hurt Emmy, so he tried to get her away from everything by gently pushing her, but Emmy got to slip away every time. On the other hand, Woosung walked away from Jiyu's friends, whom he was also trying to calm down, and totally unlike Yoongi, he pushed Emmy enough to make her stop.

"HEY!" Yoongi said, also changing his manner, but Woosung didn't let him say anything, for he spoke first.

“Get her out of here, if this becomes public, she'll be fucked up. Jiyu's family controls all the damn media, this is gonna be in the papers tomorrow if you don't get her out fast.” Woosung's concern was valid, but he had been late, for it was a fact that that drama would be out the next morning.

On any other day, and possibly on any other occasion, Yoongi wouldn't have listened to Woosung, and Woosung would definitely never have advised him, but that night was not the case. That night they both had the same purpose, so, as a tacit agreement, they worked together.

********

Finally at Yoongi's apartment...

“Why did you take me out like that?! Yoongi, unlock the door!”

“Emmy, you can try all night, I don't have a problem with it, but you're not gonna get it open. You're crazy if you think I'm gonna let you walk out of here and beat someone up AGAIN."

“Didn't you hear how they talked about you? Let me out, Yoongi!"

Yoongi was going to let his girlfriend continue fighting with the door, until a sob made him approach again. This time, the musician wrapped his arms around her and tried to make her forget what had happened.

"I'll never forget it, Yoongs, I won't forgive anyone who hurts you." As soon as she turned around, Yoongi smiled at her tenderly and wiped her tears with the back of his hand.

“Baby, it's okay, I don't care what they say. I'm not going to waste my time with people who need to offend others to feel superior. Do you think it's the first time? It won't be the last either, and you can't react like that. It's dangerous."

"Yes, I will, I'll fight any idiot who badmouths you."

"Freckles, please."

"Yoongi shut up, you're not going to change my mind."

“There are things that aren't worth it, like arguing with people like that. Are you actually going to make a scene every time we go out together and run into jerks? Baby, you must think about what will happen when your family…”

"You WON'T be in front of them ever."

The blunt way in which she responded made it abundantly clear to Yoongi where Emmy stood on the matter. Although the musician was very patient and willing to wait for their relationship to evolve at its pace, receiving that response was somewhat uncomfortable and even painful. He was normally very self-assured, but he couldn't help but think that maybe Emmy didn't want him mixed up with her family because of his socioeconomic status.

“Fine, it's good to know.”

"Wait... what are you thinking?" Yoongi not only kept silent, but he also walked away from his girlfriend and walked to his room. "Yoongs?"

"I'm gonna take a bath."

Sitting on the bed, Emmy waited until the musician got out of the shower. Yoongi's coldness when speaking to her was enough for the girl to beg him to listen to her and let her explain what she had meant.

“I just want to protect you from them, that's all. I don't want you to expose yourself to Seri's hostile comments or Dad's stares."

Yoongi remained silent, waiting for Emmy to elaborate a little more for a change, but the girl was still under the influence of drugs and the only image that her brain kept reproducing was that of the girl just like Seri in the bathroom. Maybe if she consumed a little more… maybe just a little more would help her see things more clearly and be able to converse with Yoongi. But deep down, she knew that consuming a little more would mean she was one step away from overdosing. Had it been a mistake to return to Korea? Should she have stayed on Capri and spared Yoongi all that confusion and distress? How was she going to defend him from her family when she hadn't even been able to defend herself?

And there it was… again the migraine, but this time stronger.

"What do you have?" Yoongi asked as he noticed how she winced while digging her nails into her bedcover. "Emm?"

"My head"

“Wait, I have some pills that…”

"No, no, no pills." Emmy was afraid that mixing one more substance would cause her to lose what little control she had left. "I'll go home and rest."

"No!" Yoongi stopped her even before she was on her feet. "You're not leaving like this, look at you!"

Her heart was beating dangerously fast, she had not noticed it before due to the rush of adrenaline resulting from her meeting with "Seri" and the discussion at the bar. But now that she was in a calmer place and she was more aware of her body, she noticed that her heart rate had increased.

"My love, what do you have, what do you feel?" Yoongi asked seriously worried and remembering Woosung's concerned look when the girl entered the bathroom for the last time. "Talk to me."

The pain in her head was joined by some difficulty in breathing. That couldn't be happening, not in front of Yoongi, she couldn't put him through something like that, she had to calm down no matter what.

“Emmy” Yoongi called a little louder and trying to figure out what she needed him to do. That's how he glimpsed that she was trying to pull down her zipper dress, something he helped her with. "Better?" he asked after helping her into one of his t-shirts and laying her down.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Yoongi was carefully taking care of her; however, it was also impossible for her to fall asleep, because no matter how bad she felt, she wanted to clarify something first.

“Letting you have contact with my family is… it'd be safer to enter into a crocodile pit. I'd love things to be different, nothing would make me happier than taking you home, and introducing you to my parents as my boyfriend, but it's not possible, I'm not gonna do something like that to you."

Since the last discussion, Emmy had been gathering enough courage to tell Yoongi everything from her family problems to her addictions. Maybe that's why she had succumbed to drugs with such intensity in recent days. She was more than aware of how risky it would be to say all that to Yoongi, but despite wanting to do it, fear kept silencing her and it was not a good time to fight it.

She couldn't force herself like that, talking about these topics was equivalent to a very intense effort and impressions that her body definitely couldn't bear that night. In fact, she wasn't even able to continue talking to her boyfriend when she had already fallen asleep.

The next morning, Emmy woke up first, it was barely dawn when her anxiety made her get out of bed. She still did not feel fully recovered, but the crisis had passed.

She stealthily left Yoongi's room and found that Jin's door was open, apparently, the actor hadn't come to sleep. The living room continued as she and Yoongi had left it the night before, and sitting down on a couch, Emmy thought about what she would do next.

No matter how much she thought about it, she kept coming to the same two conclusions. Her first option would be to face her reality, share her secrets with Yoongi, and pray that the musician didn't hate her. The second option was to stop fighting and return to Capri. There, everything would be easier, she would be away from her family, away from the people she could hurt with her actions. Maybe it was the right time to leave before she hurt Yoongi more.

But was she capable of doing something like that?

“Did the headache come back?” a voice asked. Emmy hadn't realized that no matter how stealthy she tried to be, Yoongi woke up and after a few seconds, he went after her. "We need to do something about it, freckles." He took a blanket from the other couch and placed it over Emmy's shoulders. Next, he approached her and kissed her forehead.

She had no more doubts, no matter how painful and difficult it was, she had already made her decision. "Yoongs, we need to talk." Staring her eyes at the musician's, Emmy wanted to record that image forever, if that was going to be the last time they talked, the last time Yoongi saw her with that love, she never wanted to forget it.

Until that moment, Yoongi hadn't felt a few seconds as devilishly long as those in which he looked anxiously at his girl, waiting for her to start talking. But if he was having a hard time waiting, she felt that her world was falling apart. But she had made her decision, she had to stick to it.

➳ Next Chapter: soon 🐱

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