#of doing that doesn't make me cry

[gideonisms]

See I think if I'd been born a guy I wouldn't be this pathologically avoidant trying to plan my career because there are plenty of situations you can find as a cis man where you just Do Tasks in awkward silence and you can get to those as a woman but you have to go through the rings of hell socializing first and then besides, a lot of those jobs already have so many men that you stand out when the whole point was you Don't want to do that

#you gotta be god's strongest soldier to survive this shit and i am not! i am god's weakest most pathetic soldier! #i survived five years of customer service crying weekly and getting harassed and being a baby about it #when i got promoted no one would listen to me and it made me constantly anxious and then so tired it took me a year to be able to #think about having a job as something remotely positive and stop crying about it #idk how other women are doing this shit a guy treats me like his sexy servant and i feel BAD and upset for years #and think of what he said 7 years later and they only touched me on the shoulder and made comments other people go through worse! #but i am not strong or determined i just want to go through my life in peace and stop talking to people altogether #it wasn't just guys who treated me badly older women made fun of me and called me lazy and stupid #tutoring was fine but i felt like i was putting on that same performance and at that point it all felt so awful i just. didn't want to #i can see no way out of talking to people for the rest of my life and it gets me down sometimes #i know i get to come home but even then i will probably need people to live with #i basically only like my family and close friends talking to me sometimes even that is hard #sometimes it's way easier to type and feels less awful #i think i have to just keep on keeping on until i can finally get good enough to freelance edit and code that's the only thing i can think #of doing that doesn't make me cry #emails are fine they suck but i don't have to control my face and tone so.

[inkskinned]

one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.

one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.

i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.

the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.

my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.

i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.

#writeblr #i was doing a lot with high school students. over and over again #other teachers kept asking me what i was doing differently - why the kids listened to me. i am not particularly foreboding #and i have a pretty firm personal policy of never reacting in anger #godhelpme. #i was always kind of taken aback #because in general the kids were pretty easy. i explained i needed to keep everything “PG-13” because this was my workplace #and it was kind of their workplace #too. besides #i love swearing #and since i couldn't swear #neither could they - so if they were going to say “fuck” or become violent #they needed to choose a really specific time #because we only get “the one”.. sure enough - nobody wanted to waste the one very specific “fuck” utterance. kids listened. #i think just because - that rule makes sense. the kids understand that i don't want to be unfair to them #that censorship is stupid #but that i'm under these rules too so like let's ride it out together #also i look young and tbh between me and u nobody wants to make the nice english teacher cry #the way these kids defended me to their friends was really genuinely so heartwarming bc the Grouchy Frat Boy #would be like MISS RAQUEL DOESN'T DESERVE THAT KIND OF AN ATTITUDE BRO DON'T TALK BACK TO HER

[lil-lemon-snails]

decided to draw some of your guys' tags from my harlequin sun and moon post!!! These guys are so much fun and you're all so funny >w<

#there were so many i wanted to draw!!! I might have to go back and do a part two hehe #also too scared to spam everyone by tagging accounts but i need you guys to know i love you all sm!! sending u all so many little kisses!!! #fnaf #fnaf fan art #fnaf security breach #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf dca #dca fandom #dca au #fnaf sun moon #digital art #artist on tumblr #harlequin #clowns #answered asks #<- this doesn't really count but because i am drawing other people's tags i'm putting it here! #folks commenting on my art really motivate me to keep drawing ;w; you are all so insanely sweet and absolutely make my day every time!!! <3 #just over here crying akjsfhsf thank you all so mucchhhhhhh ;;w;;

[butchdiaz]

ultimate ceilings buddie edit. this is my magnum opus (also on youtube!)

#who needs to do taxes when u can edit gay firefighters #they make me insane<3 #buddie #911 #911 fox #911 edit #evan buckley #eddie diaz #lizzy mcalpine #also i showed this to my friend who doesn't even watch the show and it made her cry so #abby is making #my vids

[shorthaltsjester]

the mighty nein - critical role

this is a place where i don't feel alone. this is a place where i feel at home.

#also with softer vibes. i offer They #every silly little brainheart found family deserves a to build a home edit #the mighty nein maybe most of all. thats my family #also the lyrics deliciously well suited to m9. #when jester pulls that. stupid tarot card for fjord. home or traveler. and there's a carnival wagon. and veth says Thats Us! . them #i just think about . the tower is their home the xhorhouse is their home the lavish chateau is their home the balleater. the mistake. #the nein heroez. veth and yezas apartment. the dome. fjord and jesters living room floor. #a bar with a silly name on rumblecusp #also like. the song has stone and dust imagery. gardens and trees. #the inherent temporality of life and love and how that holds no bearing on how greatly people can love. im losin it okay. #ive been making this edit for days straight with my computer screaming at me for trying to shove 143 episodes of cr into a 2min20sec video. #crying becuase. theyre a family do you get it. they were nine lonely people and most of them had given up on seeing their own lives #as something that might be good. something that might make the world a better place. and in the end they're heroes. #and it doesn't matter if no one else knows because They know they're heroes. and they wouldn't've believed that was true when they met. #rattling the bars of my enclosure. to be loved is to be changed #posted on twitter and want to get in the habit of posting here too bc. #general reasons but also bc . i have noticed some of the ppl liking/sharing it are also ppl who shit on my ops by vaguing about my posts #which is in general whatever but does leave a funny taste in my mouth. #critical role #the mighty nein #cr2 #caleb widogast #caduceus clay #jester lavorre #fjord #veth brenatto #yasha nydoorin #beauregard lionett #mollymauk tealeaf #my posts

[thresholdbb]

what's the threshold theory

There was a post about how Tom is the only crew member who isn't really affected by the Borg, and there's a theory that he has so much luck because he saw the past and the future when he crossed the transwarp threshold. He saw the past and the future, all of time and space. There's some subconscious part of him that remembers that experience. In fact, Tom refused to play a part in Chakotay indulging Annorax's temporal incursions, probably because a part of him knew nothing good could come of it.

If we extend that same theory to Janeway, some of her wild luck with time travel and other crack plans starts to make sense. She doesn't verbally hate time travel until after the events of Threshold, since it happens in Time and Again without complaint. Janeway has an uncanny knack for time travel, as evidenced every time she deals with it. She hates time travel, but it might be because part of her knows exactly how to manipulate the timeline. She manages to avoid the "inevitable" temporal explosion in Future's End, saving both Voyager and Braxton. She resets the entire timeline in Year of Hell, and no one else followed her reasoning. She pulled it off flawlessly. In Relativity, she senses the incidents are all related, despite it being just one reading that connects them. By the time she's involved, she has a temporal incursion factor of .0036 and a time travel protocol named after her, even if that may just be Braxton's personal grudge. Then there's Endgame, where she intentionally changes the timeline. Up until this point, she has been dragged into time travel, but for the first time, she jumps in on purpose. How does Admiral Janeway know how to get them home sooner in a way that completely avoids the Temporal Integrity Commission? It's because she has seen all of time, and part of her knows exactly what needs to happen so she can get Voyager home and do it in a way that becomes baked into the prime timeline. Maybe she doesn't consciously remember what happened during her transformation, but the experience lives in her mind somewhere, guiding her decisions.

#every day is threshold day #tldr threshold cemented the time travel shenanigans #we're not counting her disparagement of time travel in relativity i know it's technically before threshold #but they've messed with the timeline so much that her past timeline is also changed. #Time travel is funny because the past is the future the future is the past #so while relativity comes before threshold in the prime timeline her timeline has also been changed in a way that it wasn't before threshol #we could chalk it up to a writing oversight but this is more interesting #not to mention her uncanny luck with the Borg which I think ties in as well #it's part of why her instinct is so strong #also the bio neural gel packs but that's a different theory #listen she's amazing with or without having seen all of time and space but she has seen all of time and that must have affected her somehow #those little salamander babies also have all of the cosmos in their mind #tried to explain as concisely as possible but it is part of my overarching theory #she doesn't second guess herself nearly as much following their jaunt into transwarp #I have more but I'm trying to be brief cause it's written up partially in my drafts somewhere and i have some things i need to do today lol #meta #Star Trek voyager #Kathryn janeway #threshold day #did you expect me thresholdbb to not have a serious threshold theory? #listen I can make anything nonsense and turn anything into a serious theory I was known for this kinda bs in grad school #I wrote a 25 page paper on NOTHING once #I wrote a paper about how corn fields were super gay and it made my professor cry I can spin the bullshit it is one of my skills

[cry-ptidd]

Alucard is a boydad but vladcard is a total girldad. I can't explain it but that's the vibes they're giving off,,,,,

Peak characterization my dear anon

Alucard is a boydad stuck with a daughter

(it doesn't change at how he'd treat her if she was a son she still suffers either way)

"LOCK THE FUCK IN"

"Shut up"

Fatherly disappointment followed by resignation (also him calling her an idiot for a minute straight)

And ofc. These gems

Peak boydad. He calls her 'sport'

Vs

Peak girldad Vlad

THAT'S A PROUD DAD RIGHT THERE!!!

He brags about her all the time. You never hear the end of it.

"Yeah, your kid went to Harvard? Cute. My daughter tho--"

He brings her everywhere, and is always there when she's struggling (somehow predicts it). A guy comes within a 20 mile radius of her and he whips out the shotgun. He cuts up apples and places it on her desk without a word and he compliments her hair and outfits and he let her paint his nails when she was little. The first person who made fun of him for having poorly painted sparkly nails got stabbed in the kidney.

Also, he already has a dad laugh.

Overall, maybe Hellsing is actually about Boydad Alucard's journey to becoming a girldad

#hellsing #long post #alucard #vladcard #seras victoria #ask response #i love love LOVE their relationship #they'll be the death of me #arghhh my heart and soul my being #oof ouchie my feelings #they make me feel a type of way #i'll never get over that fishing art btw I want it tattooed on me #their relationship is just a kid on the verge of crying while doing their math homework and their dad yelling at them the whole time #(turns out he doesn't know how to do it either)

[grxceful-ly]

peter bringing mayday with him to do spider stuff because yeah, he had things to live for before--but now he has a child and he is going to raise this child and be there for her and maybe if she’s there, strapped to his chest, he’ll be more careful. he’ll consider his life almost as precious as hers. maybe bringing mayday to work is a precaution. 

#disclaimer: it's like 2am and i don't know what i just wrote because my brain won't function enough to read it over again #i also have read like zero spiderman comics so if this doesn't make sense because canon already speaks on it #i'm sorry #atsv spoilers #spiderman: across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse #peter b parker #mayday #i am having thoughts #PLEASE BLOCK APPROPRIATE TAGS IF YOU DON"T WANNA BE SPOILED PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU #miles morales #into the spiderverse #spiderman #spiderman spoilers #this thought came about because i think swinging around with a child is the stupidest/coolest thing ever #and i feel like peter wouldn't do it without a reason #anyway sorry for the random change in fandoms i saw the movie tonight and it was fantastic #also #catch me crying in the theatre because peter wants his daughter to turn out like miles #OKAY IM DONE SPAMMING THE TAGS NOW BYE #across the spiderverse spoilers #spiderman across the spiderverse

[another-clive-blog]

HOW HAVE I NEVER NOTICED THIS

LAYTON USES TU FOR FUTURE LUKE BUT SWITCHES TO VOUS THE SECOND CLIVE'S IDENTITY IS REVEALED.

Tu and vous both mean you but Tu implies closeness : in the entirety of Unwound Future, Layton only ever uses Tu with Flora, the Lukes and Claire

#I'm shaking crying throwing up #WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME. #He immediately uses tu for Future Luke which is A LOT #In real life we often stumble trying to know which one to use because vous is distance but also respect like for a boss or teacher #(Everyone except Claire uses vous for Layton because he's a highly educated adult and a gentleman) #Layton must really appreciate and trust Luke. He immediately went 'Oh that's a Luke of course he's a close one' #And it makes sense that he would discard the tu when he finds out that nope this is a total stranger manipulating us all #But also normal people would go from tu (affectionate) to tu (derogatory). Of course Layton doesn't as a gentleman but. Ouch #And he never goes back to tu not even after finding out Clive is the orphan he saved #I'm crying why are you doing that to me. It's so subtle I had NEVER noticed but it's there #Maybe the vous will go back to respect or pleasant distance one day but Clive isn't deserving of a tu. He's not Luke. He's a stranger #I HAVE to do a complete pronoun analysis one day. I've talked about it here and there but I need to do a big analysis #Professeur layton et le destin perdu #Professeur layton #hershel layton #clive dove #Been posting a lot of angst lately oops #Professor layton and the unwound Future #Professor layton and the lost future #Unwound Future spoilers #Lost Future spoilers

[quirkle2]

first amv be nicies to me about it or else

#qktalks #new hobby found ! achievement get #there was a lyric at the very start of this song (that i cut out bc it was slow and i wanted it to be a bit crazier) #that says ''i can't seem to stay me'' which was sorta the origin of why i picked this one #so there ya go #the first half is a lil rough ngl.i recognize this and if u make fun of me ill cry right on ur person #i thought i hated editing but it turns out once u have a halfway decent editing program the process Doesn't make u wanna cry #i have another song in mind but im not sure there's rly enough footage of what i want for it ... hrrmm #mob psycho 100 #mob psycho #mp100 #shigeo kageyama #mp100 mob #mp100 shigeo #flashing #<- dunno if it's necessary but just to be sure #i do kinda like that amvs take way less time than most of my other hobbies #like art takes forever building anything in any game takes centuries writing can take a long time depending on the length #but u can kinda just whip up an amv in one sitting if u know what ur doing #i Didn't know what i was doing when making This so it took me a couple days but ! now i know the basics of the program so yay

[lesbians4yoohyeon]

THIS GIF AHHHHHHHH PLEASE THEY'RE SO CUTE :( MAX LAYING HER LEGS ON EL'S WHEN THEY WERE SLEEPING + THEM FACING EACH OTHER :( PLEASE I LOVE THEM SO BAD THEY'RE SO PRECIOUS AND CUTE :(

#stranger things #elmax #max mayfield #el hopper #this scene was so cute :( #my babies #max treating el like a normal girl okay i'm breaking down y'all 😃😃😃 #actually convinced at this point that max is the only person to ever treat el normally #AGAIN that one post that said max is the only person to meet the real el and vice versa... #yea. thinking very hard about them and CRYING #i love them :( #they make me so sad but so happy #more happy normal domestic regular elmax moments pls <3 #they do NOT need to be fighting monsters saving the world being tortured and abused repeatedly and dying all the time thank you <3 #the way max doesn't care that el has powers or was raised in a lab... she just wants to be her friend and take care of her :( #im broken. they broke me #elmaxisms

[hood-ex]

The desire to have a No Capes AU where the Titans crew go to a boarding school and sneak out at night to read poetry in a cave...

#yes i just watched dead poets society again and yes it made me think some thoughts #no but i can't even think about it properly because that movie always makes me cry so much and now i've got a headache #like literally as soon as the play is over and neil heads for his dad's car--i start crying and i can't stop #and then comes the iconic ''o captain my captain'' scene at the end and i start bawling again #it's just!! so unfair!! and i fuckin love charlie bro!! this time i watched the movie--i noticed something i didn't before #and it's that when all the boys are singing at the school in remembrance of neil--all the guys from the club are singing #EXCEPT FOR CHARLIE!! #just like how when they were doing that exercise on being nonconforming--all the boys were trying to walk around in their own style #EXCEPT FOR CHARLIE! #because charlie was like hey i'm exercising my right to NOT do this exercise--and it's the same thing in the singing scene!! #he's exercising his right to not make himself sing the song when he damn well doesn't feel like it #yeeees nuwanda!!! you go king!! #No Capes AU

[dennisboobs]

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

↳ moments that make me cry

#PATERNAL RELATIONSHIPS. GUARANTEED TO MAKE ME SOB. #iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #dennis reynolds #frank reynolds #mac mcdonald #charlie kelly #ada's gifs #ada speaks #dennis holding brian jr makes me. full on cry. #the way he goes from awkwardly holding him & trying to play it off like he doesn't care. nervous laugh and a glance back at mandy. #'am i doing it right?' i'm not fit to be a father. this is completely foreign to me. #tips his head against his son's. clenches his jaw. tries so hard not to cry with everyone standing there watching. hugs him closer. #says he's done saying goodbye and then backs away with a look of visible upset when mandy tries to take brian jr from him. #and. dennis kissing frank. at first going to hug him but deciding against it. too intimate. too much commitment. #and again... 'am i doing it right?' is this is how sons are supposed to act with their fathers? ''was that okay to do?'' #charlie just wanting someone to be there for him. to care for him. to care *about* him. #and frank. who caused immense damage to dennis in the short stints when he was actually around. but *was* around. #frank makes everyone realize that they are what charlie needs right now. that they all love charlie. #dennis. who is grateful for frank having been there. as abusive and selfish as he may have been. dennis took that and closed himself off. #taught himself to guard against it. shut off his feelings. prioritize himself above all else. he's Strong because of frank's neglect. #incredibly damaged. unhappy. but Strong. #because the ones who are supposed to care about you most in the world just don't. YOU have to care about you. that's how frank lived too. #charlie has chosen to avoid his entire life. #and now he's been forced to confront it all. he'd been content not knowing if frank was his biological father. #he had a father figure who cared for him. and he wasn't around because he didn't know charlie was alive. he thought bonnie aborted him. #but the reality of it all is that charlie's biological father avoided too. he knew charlie was his son. he spoke to him and *lied* to him. #and just as soon as they reconnect and have a chance to make up forty years of lost time #he dies. he fucking dies. and leaves charlie alone again. to carry him up a goddamn mountain by himself. shouldering this grief and anger. #charlie can't be selfish. he isn't allowed to now. because his dad died and left him one last task. he still doesn't want to let him down.

[angelsdean]

ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.

#it's usually when they randomly drop some line of fanon. like saying dean has never admitted to being wrong in his life #or never expressed an emotion or been vulnerable or doesn't Talk About Feelings or is super duper RepressedTM #like i'm sorry. have you watched the show. oh and have you taken off the sammy POV goggles first? #bc this guy is always crying and being vulnerable and talking about his feelings. he is self-aware. #he may not always want to talk to sam abt things! but he sure does talk about things with other people #do i need to reblog the compilation posts AGAIN? #(also re: his sexualiy? AWARE. sorry i saw him flirt and be flustered by so many men. he knows how he feels.) #and then 'first time ever admitting to being wrong' this one came from a post abt dean's prayer in the trap #like i'm sorry but first of all. dean apologizes more than any other character on the show. there are hard numbers on this. #people have tracked this on spreadsheets. i think ilarual is one of them. #and often he is apologizing for things that aren't even his fault! but he still feels responsible for bc he's been made to feel that way #his whole life!! #other characters *cough samandcas *cough* apologizing Less doesn't mean they've Done less things wrong #it just means they're not owning up to it and brushing it under the rug. something both do frequently. #anyways. aside from apologies. dean also has no problem admitting he's wrong y'know when he's actually wrong #which is less often than you'd think bc he has pretty good instincts and intuition and often suspects things which turn out to be Right #but anyways. another thing abt the trap prayer is. i don't think cas Needed to be forgiven #i think dean was justified in feeling angry w cas over the circumstances leading to the Death of His Mother! totally normal grief response! #i think cas also understands dean to be someone who needs time to process and deal with his feelings (he says as much to jack) #however. despite me not think dean Needs to forgive cas. the thing is. with dean when it comes to cas the forgiveness is implicit #when he says /of course i forgive you/ and in the cut like /of course i wanted you to stay/ like. yes he was mad and dealing with grief #but also. yes cas was already forgiven even back then. he just needed Time to work through the feelings #anyways i think dean says he 'forgives' cas bc it's what CAS needed to hear to stop feeling guilty and dean gives him that closure #but i also think cas was already forgiven even in dean's anger. he wants him there always. i'd rather have you. we can fix this. etc etc #a lot of tags for a non-rebloggable post ajksdfs maybe i'll make these into a real post sometime #vic.txt #dean and feelings #so i can find this all again later

[cerise-on-top]

Cried on the train today, then thought of this! This is just me coping to the highest degree again, but I thought other people might like this as well!

Nikolai as a Father

First off, he’d likely be absent rather often. He was a soldier, he runs a PMC, he’s a busy man through and through. That’s why he won’t be able to see you as often as he’d like. He’d have loved to see all your accomplishments, meeting your first partner and intimidating them, your graduation, the first time you performed on stage, but it wasn’t possible due to work. He does feel bad about it, but he can’t help it. He will try to make it up to you somehow, though he’d understand if you couldn’t forgive him. He does try to be there for you whenever he can, visiting you whenever possible, but you will be apart from each other more often than not. However, if you ever have any suggestions regarding what you’d like to do together, he’s all ears. He has enough money to grant you any wish like that. You wanna go to Japan? You want a boat trip? You wanna go karaoke? It’s all possible, as long as he gets to experience those things with you. He really does wanna make up for the lost time.

He’s a pretty relaxed kind of father. The kind that would allow you a sip of beer when you were young. He’d have no problems with you drinking, as long as it doesn’t get out of hand. You should be responsible about that sort of thing. But if you ever wanted to invite a friend over to drink a bit, then he’d have no problem with getting the booze for you. Nothing too strong while you’re still young, of course, but he gets it. You’re young, you want to be stupid and do foolish things. He was like that too when he was younger, so he won’t stop you. In fact, he’ll even drive to the nearest fast food restaurant and get you and your friend something to eat. Sometimes he might cook himself, though. Nikolai’s food is downright godly, he can cook just about anything and cook it well too. As long as you don’t invite a friend over to get blackout drunk every weekend, all is good.

I think he’d probably lie to you about his job when you’re younger. You don’t need to know that he kills people for a living. You can know that he does paperwork, though. So he’d likely tell you he works an office job that has him traveling a lot. Speaking of traveling, he’ll always bring you a souvenir. That could range from a small snow globe to a nice T-shirt he found that you might like. He may be busy, but he does think about you very often. This continues into adulthood as well. If he can’t see you and give it to you in person then he’ll just mail it to you. Won’t ever allow you to work in the same field he does, though. You’re too sweet to work as a mercenary. You can become anything you want to be, but he’ll do what he can to not have you work in the military or in a PMC. He wants you to live and live well. There are no exceptions to this. He knows you might not listen to him, but he’ll tell you over and over again that those kinds of jobs are not what you might think they are. He doesn’t tell you what to do very often, but you should listen to him when he does. He’s an older man, who actually knows what he’s talking about. Besides, he only means well when it comes to you.

A very accepting father, in all honesty. You’re gay? You’re trans? He’s very supportive of you. Besides, it doesn’t matter who you bring home, he’s gonna try to intimidate them either way. Only the best of the best for you. If you ever find yourself some sleazebag, who won’t spoil you rotten like you deserve, then he’ll make sure that person will learn their lesson. He can be a very scary man when he wants to be. If you’re transmasc, then he’d delight in going clothes shopping with you and finding something that you look good in and that fits. He might even buy you a bomber jacket like he has so you can match. He’ll get you the fanciest suits too. Whatever you need, he’ll give it to you. If you’re transfem then he might not be the best suited candidate to go shopping with you. He can tell you what you look good in, but he might call someone like Laswell to help you find nice clothes that suit you well. However, he won’t save any money on anything. You know what you want? You can gladly have it. Nikolai will even pay for your surgeries as well. As long as you’re happy, he’s happy. No price is too high when it comes to your happiness. In fact, he probably has the means to get you a prescription for hormones as well. It might not be entirely legal, but it’s better than nothing if you have shitty doctors.

Likewise, if you come out to him as aromantic or asexual, he won’t mind. Sure, you might have to explain what that means, but once he understands he won’t make you feel bad for that sort of thing. Gives you a side hug and tells you that he’s glad he doesn’t have to worry about your heart being broken by some asshole who can’t appreciate you for who you are. Unfortunately, if you do come out to him as ace, he might make some puns about it. Nothing offensive, but he’s your father, he can’t help the urge to make awful dad jokes from time to time.

If you don’t know Russian then he’ll teach you. He’s a proud Russian, so he does want you to know the language. He can hire a teacher for you too, if you’d prefer that, but you won’t be spared. He’ll talk to you in Russian and compliment you on your progress. Besides, it’s never a mistake to know another language. If you do know Russian then he’ll speak it with you whenever he can. Yes, even when the likes of Price are around. Doesn’t matter if it comes off as rude, it just feels homey to him. It makes him feel at ease.

#cod #cod x reader #cod nikolai #nikolai x reader #listening to “A Trophy Fathers Trophy Son” hits different these days. I just can't bring myself to hate my father no matter what #anyway I want Nikolai to adopt me and help me through all of my struggles #I think some hugs from a father figure could heal some of my scars and make some of my demons go away #I don't even remember the last time my parents properly hugged me. to comfort me I mean #“Is this what you call a family” I almost cried at work today and I really had to pull myelf together to not start crying #one of my coworkers is a father and he reveres his daughter. I wonder if my father thought that highly of me too when I was younger #I'm not even sure he likes me anymore these days. It hurts so bad because I genuinely don't have very many people in my life #I don't wanna lose him too even if it doesn't seem like he cares about my mental wellbeing at all #I don't care that I'm venting in the tags right now I don't have anywhere else to vent anyway #I wish I had a father whose love I could actually feel. Is it my fault? Did I do something wrong? Am I just a shitty son? #I've been finding so much comfort in imagining Nikolai as a father figure as of late. Found family and he adopts me as his son #Haha I wonder what that says about me. I think I need a hug one of these days or I will genuinely fall apart. Everything is getting to much #But life goes on I suppose. I need to be strong. I can't afford to break down again

[yesloulou]

2016 post-season Daniel interrupting Max's interview

#maxiel #daniel ricciardo #max verstappen #f1 #abu dhabi gp 2016 #* #** #a baby 🥲 #daniel watching so adoringly I want to cry #youtube please stop shoving random maxiel content i've never seen in my face at this insane hour what am I supposed to do not gif it? #i have a job i have rent to pay i cannot be on photopshop trying to make max verstappen's eyes bluer at 1am on a workday #that being said this lil moment makes me so so happy 🥲 #what they had it doesn't happen very often it's actually hard to come by. they know that. right?