#okay maybe this is about some weird family trauma i have about knowing some distant heritage that i dont feel like i can connect to | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

a-dauntless-daffodil · 12 days

Text

Charlie: "You know what your traumatic backstory calls for?"

Vaggie: "Hugs?"

Charlie: "THERAPY!"

Vaggie: "Charlie, I don't need-"

Charlie: "Oh YOU don't need therapy? Really? Really."

Vaggie: "..... I'm perfectly functional. Also, it's my trauma."

Charlie: "And is this OUR loving relationship?"

Vaggie: "Of course it-"

Charlie: "The one I'm planning on spending the rest of my life in? Trauma included?"

Vaggie: "I- if, if you want to-?"

Charlie: "Just like how YOU'VE spent three years helping ME with the whole 'wow my family fell apart soooo fast let me cope by latching onto the dream of my disappeared mom while pretending it's totally fine I somehow feel even MORE distant from my dad who lives only a ten minute walk across town' thing? Making 'help charlie!' into your whole Reason for Being?!"

Vaggie: "Hold on, I wasn't in the best headspace when that slipped out-"

Charlie: "OBJECTION! Clear admission of truth!"

Vaggie: "-fuck."

Charlie: "And did you let me be there for you then, when your head was in a bad place? Or did you pull a 'I want to be alone' card?"

Vaggie: "I just needed- I didn't want to say anything else stupid."

Charlie: "Oh so you didn't wanna be dramatic about it, huh?"

Vaggie: "Yes- NO!"

Charlie: "Like how I can be dramatic?"

Vaggie: "It's not the same-"

Charlie: "Do YOU like being there for ME when I'M in a really bad no good and sad headspace?"

Vaggie: "You know I do."

Charlie: "Even when I go sit in a corner my own because I still can't believe there's someone in my life who'll want to come looking for me- who I don't need to apologize for being sad or 'dramatic' around- and who says she's HAPPY to be worrying about me?"

Vaggie: "Sweetie I am happy to worry about you."

Charlie: "Ah-HA! But I don't get to do that for you! YOU want me to be sad around YOU-"

Charlie: "Wait that sounds weird, uhh- oh whatever-"

Charlie: "Point is, I don't get to see YOU being sad around ME! And no, anger don't count! You like being grumpy! Grumpy is active! It feels productive and that's why you hate feeling SAD!"

Vaggie: "You just said you hide it from me too. Even after three years of being together."

Charlie: "Oh no really? Does that bother you???"

Vaggie: "It worries me!"

Charlie: "Okay then!!! EXACTLY! We both need therapy."

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: "That's fair."

Charlie: (preening) "Thank you."

Vaggie: “How the fuck did you not win that case up in Heaven.”

Charlie: "Angels are jerks and their minds are hard to change. Not my angel though. Mine is great~"

Vaggie: "Hold that thought until after I've asked this one question, sweetie."

Charlie: "Ask away!"

Vaggie: "How do we do therapy."

Charlie: "....."

Charlie: "H-"

Vaggie: "Without using Husk and alcohol. We are not paying him enough to deal with my angelic shit."

Charlie: "We could give him a raise- how much do you think-?"

Vaggie: "Not even if we gave him the hotel, babe."

Charlie: "Oh."

Vaggie: "So. What does sober therapy look like?"

Charlie: "Hmm....."

Charlie: "......."

Charlie: "Next question."

Vaggie: "Do you wanna just start off with a hug."

Charlie: "I want to pat myself on the back for having such a smart, supportive girlfriend- but you'll have do to it for me instead. While we hug."

-phone call time-

Carmilla: "You have five seconds before I hang up. Talk.

Charlie: "Carmilla, hi!!! It's about Vaggie-"

Carmilla: "No."

Charlie: "Oh ok! I just thought-"

Carmilla: "No."

Charlie: "-you seemed to really care about her, and maybe see a bit of yourself in her, maaaaybe you'd have some tips on-"

Carmilla: "No. Take her to Rosie's. Go with her and STAY with her."

Charlie: "Rosie- OF COURSE Rosie's! Right! I will!!"

Carmilla: "Don't take it personally when she tries to escape."

Charlie: "When she whats?

Carmilla: "The brooding silently in a chair and refusing to talk will also pass. Give her space. But don't leave her."

Charlie: "No no I won't, but why would she try esc-"

Charlie: "Oh Vaggie! No, I'm just on the phone with Carmilla-"

Vaggie: "WHAT."

Charlie: "-we're talking therapy ideas for you! And-"

Vaggie: (muffled swearing)

Charlie: "-she says Rosie's might be a good idea! You know, like how Alastor took there so I could talk everything out with someone finally, well I guess and also to get a cannibal army, but Rosie helping me with the you issue by laying my heart bare to her was the main good thing from all that, so-"

Charlie: "-VAGGIE GET BACK HERE!"

Carmilla: "Condolences on her having wings again. Good luck"

Carmilla: (hangs up to the sound of frantic flapping and yelling)

Zestial: "...."

Zestial: "...toss'ed to the very wolves... truly, that was wretched of thee."

Carmilla: "I owe them nothing."

Zestial: "And what of thyself?"

Carmilla: "Why, were my disinterested actions of a moment ago not self-serving enough for you?"

Zestial: "Thou art denying much in thine distance from her."

Carmilla: "I already have two daughters-"

Zestial: "As thou sayst."

Carmilla: "You are not my therapist, Zestial."

Zestial: "Nay- would that thou should'st yet find one, old friend."

Carmilla: "Be quiet."

Zestial: "Shan't~"

#hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #chaggie #carmilla carmine hazbin hotel #zestial hazbin hotel #incorrect quotes #zestial the pestial #what is therapy anyway #a miserable little pile of exposed secrets #vaggie being hauled to the therapy like a dog to the vet #by her loving girlfriend #who is going to collapse from exhaustion the /moment/ they get back home afterwards

312 notes · View notes

science-lings · 2 years

Note

Please feel free to talk about hsfr I always really enjoy it

Okay, so the whole AU is based off of what each Link becomes after they're done being heroes right? It's also about how differently they deal with and are affected by the trauma of their adventures.

For example, Hunter felt unfulfilled and distant from Ordon and just isn't the same after seeing people he once trusted being terrified of him so he refuses to go back, he doesn't fit in anymore, perhaps he never did. He feels like he can't return to a simple farmer's life, it's too monotonous for him and he got so used to doing more traveling and seeing more of what the world has to offer, so he leaves. He distances himself from who was once his family and feels guilty for being there to put the children in danger and even though he loves them, he wants them to be safe and the only way they can be safe is to be away from him. He misses them, but he's changed, he's more closed off and stubbornly refuses to get close enough to anyone to tell them why. In truth, he's incredibly lonely. He only has Epona and he's spent years this way. Then, suddenly, he's stuck with a bunch of versions of himself who are all younger than he is, and oh fuck he's attached now, oh no...

While Hero was able to accept that their story was forgotten and he had to learn to live as a Hylian and not as a Kokiri. But he's working through it. They were young enough to make friends and one of them happens to be the current queen/ king of Hyrule which is pretty cool. Impa highkey adopted him so he was able to spend the rest of his childhood... being a child. As much as he was able to anyway. His adventures seem so distant and since it's all in an alternate timeline or a seemingly parallel universe, so while he remembers, there isn't much evidence that they happened at all. He still has the masks and there were things he was able to keep but the world is unchanged and he's able to kind of move on, maybe they're convinced that some of it was a dream from his childhood anyway but they're never able to really believe it.

King's adventure kickstarted this paranoia of him wasting time, so even though he kind of stumbled into his position he's really afraid of failing and of not doing enough.

General has gotten better at dealing with fame, though it caused him to have to create a front for when he's in the public eye, he's so different when he's in front of a crowd versus when he's around people he feels safe around. He has this mask of being cocky and confident, it's such a strong act that he can practically have a panic attack in front of the world and not a single person would be the wiser. He HAS to be an unshakable leader and he HAS to keep up the facade of the great hero that everyone loves because if they really found out about his mistakes and about his place in the war of eras then his entire life would be ruined. No pressure.

Guardian is trying his best to adjust to his circumstances but is having a rough time, his whole life he's been bound to duty and to the royal family and it's a hardcore mindfuck to suddenly become part of the system that he's devoted his entire life to. Morally, religiously, and culturally, he's been molded to serve the royal family and he's about to be the front and center of it due to some wack circumstances. It's weird. But after his adventure, weirdness is kind of normal.

All Sage knows is what they experienced during their journey. Their previous memories seem so far away, and while they know that they were theirs and that they had experienced them at one point, there's always a certain division between how they are now and how they were then. They know the champions as ghosts, the princess as a traumatized but somewhat divine being over the stressed-out teenager from their memories. Though their past still affects them, their baseline instincts are from waking up with no memory in the middle of the wilderness. At the core, they're a survivalist who can't stand being in the same place for too long, loving whenever there's a new corner of the land to explore.

Captain has a similar situation to Hunter, but also completely different. He still visits his home island, but he has friends to travel with and very much prefers to be at sea than stationary on land. They have people around them with the same adventurous spirit and the same enthusiasm for life and even though he's kind of just helping Tetra procrastinate setting up New Hyrule. He's like what would happen to Hunter if he had a functional support system and healthy coping mechanisms.

Linkle's quest was mostly in the background and although it was very important, it wasn't exactly publicized and at first, she was jealous of her brother being so recognized and how he was so popular and appreciated but then she realized how it negatively affected him and realized that maybe she's fine with not getting as much recognition for her effort if that was the other option... Also, she seems like the only one who would go out of her way to find a therapist or whatever the fantasy equivalent is. It's hard to tell if they would take her seriously though so meeting with a bunch of other Link's who understand to an extent what she went through was super helpful, it also helps that she's not the only one who's an absolute weirdo bc they're all such a diverse group and it's nice that just adding a girl to the group doesn't even come close to rocking the boat. It was much more of a scene when Sage joined bc of their whole sorcerer thing they have going on.

#is this enough of a rant for you #hsfr #im love them #im also still so proud of their names and certain parts of their interpretations #i want to add the downfall duo or some other links but I haven't played enough yet to really make a new guy out of it #maybe the downfall timeline will add lore to the story and they'll come in later but rn I have no idea #my links meeting au #links meeting au #heroes spirit family reunion #ask andromeda #thanks for letting me rant about them

7 notes · View notes

mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune · 2 years

Text

Devil (From Cuphead Show) Is Such A Himbo And There Should Be A Himbo Contest

okay we know about that sexyman contest that happen before, and Sans having won.

if there was a Himbo Contest, I think Papyrus from Undertale, Spamton from Deltarune, Caboose and Tucker from Red Vs Blue, Frederick from Fire Emblem Awakening, Bowser Koopa from Mario Series, Demiurge from Overlord, Ozzie & Fizzarolli from Helluva Boss (they would be a package deal and be more of a co-himbos if they won.), Monty Python from the Arackniss Audio Drama Series by Axelgear, Sir Pentious from Hazbin Hotel, and lastly Devil from the Cuphead Show, would be a part of such a contest.

I mean I can’t be the only one who has notice that Devil from the Cuphead Show, sometimes has his himbo moments and ends up acting like a cute idiot.

of course Ozzie and Fizzy are both Himbos for different reasons, they can’t hide the love they have for each other from the Helluva Boss Fans.

Papyrus is a mix of being a cinnamon roll and himbo, and even if he ends up winning the himbo contest, he would likely win a cinnamon roll contest or come in second to the one who does win the cinnamon roll contest.

Demiurge from Overlord, he gives me reasons to make me view him as a himbo.....I wonder if he takes after his “Dad” Ulbert Alain Odle, like maybe in theory, Ulbert was a himbo...?

oh yeah, someone else could be in a Himbo Contest, and that would be Glamrock Freddy, he could end up winning. O_O

maybe if there was a Himbo Contest, it should be called The Himbo King Contest, or Himbo Emperor Contest.

if Devil from the Cuphead series both from the game and show was real in real life, and he tried to make a deal for my Soul, I guess I would slap his hand and spray him with a bottle of water and tell him “No.”

the weirdest thought I had besides that one, is placing the South Park’s version of Satan in a timeout box, and the box would have to be very big in order for him to fit in it.

and well both him and the South Park’s version of Jesus...

I can’t help but question a certain info that those who follow Jesus, will be trapped inside their own bodies after they die, I will have to try to look up the info again and try to read more about it.

but if that info is true, and some percent of humans end up trapped in their bodies that have passed on and their souls are put into some kind of hibernation like stasis and end up in I guess a endless dream...

wouldn’t that mean that they are being kept hostage in their bodies that have already passed, not able to fully move on to the afterlife or reincarnate...?

plus the whole money being the root of all evil, might be slightly incorrect.

because before gold, silver, copper and paper money were money, they were once part of the earth, and it could be possible that the darkest and corrupted greed could be one of the roots of all evil, but not 100% the money itself.

I’m a Defective Earth Angel that works slightly differently than other Earth Angels, and I’m a little weird...

and I have come up with the word “Eon-Boomer” which is what Princess Charlie Morningstar’s Dad (from Hazbin Hotel) is....and Devil from the Cuphead Game and Show, is possibly both a Eon-Boomer and a Himbo.

another thing that might be a weird thought, that the hybrid earth angels of this modern era would kind of be like those baby dragons from how to train your dragon, and if the earth angels are still baby souls of course they will be the type that wont really listen to anyone, Angel or Fallen Angel, and that would be kind of cute and funny.

it can be possible that a baby soul might remember trauma that they experience before being reborn on earth to a human family.

like if certain angels caused the other angel that was holding the baby angel, to be thrown over the edge and that memory could stick to their memory core of their soul and they might not remember it right away or the memory could be passed down as a copy to their own fragment that would be born from them in a distant future and they might believe that memory is theirs but really it came from the earth angel soul they had fragmented from.

anyway I want to get back to talking about how Devil from the Cuphead Show is a Himbo, so I will just say that it is possible that the soul can end up with some form of trauma and the memories will be in the soul, either bits and pieces but there are some memories from pasts lives that is best not to remember, even ones that don’t really belong to you, and might belong to one of your Soul-Parents that you fragmented from.

anyway back to the himbo topic, how Devil acts at times in both Season 1 and 2 of Cuphead Show, would make myself and possibly a few others, view him as a himbo and a bit of a cute idiot.

not sure if King Dice knows that his boyfriend/boss is a Himbo or not...

well give him time, he will figure out eventually...

is it weird to view those two as kind of a married couple in Cuphead Show, but they are going through some problems that is placing them both in a rocky relationship...?

like Devil could grow attached to Mugman and telling King Dice not to come near him or his son again, and King Dice has to tell him that Mugman isn’t his son....

which ends up having Devil saying to King Dice “Not To Come Near Your Son.”

making Devil call King Dice the Father of Mugman....and showing Devil’s himbo side....

when Season 3 does come, maybe we will get more old married couple moments with Devil and King Dice and even show more himbo moments with Devil.

also you know how Asmodeus from Helluva Boss, has the nickname “Ozzie”...

well is it weird that I kind of want to call Mammon from Helluva Boss, by the nickname “Mona”....like don’t care if it is technically a girl’s name and I have yet to find info of it being a gender neutral name.

and there is a reason why that weird thought came to my mind, like wanting to call Mammon from Helluva Boss, by the nickname Mona.

I know it had to do with something I had read and it having to do with Mammon and one of the alternate versions of his name...

I wonder if Mammon and Buckzo use to date...?

like picture Buckzo holding a boom-box outside and Mammon comes to his balcony and sees him holding the boom-box, and the song playing is “Money Honey” by Lady Gaga.

then again, that would possibly be Mammo-Boy’s theme song...

if Buckzo and Mammon did date, it would possibly sometime after Blitz, Fizz and Barbie moved out and started to live on their own...well not really 100% sure about Barbie, and it could be possible she is in rehab.

the song “10 Things I Hate About You” by Leah Kate, kind of makes me think of Asmodeus/Ozzie, it just seems to fit him, and well maybe other Ficto-Versions of Asmodeus...

I like the song and I guess it could fit both Ozzie and Fizzy...

I’m weird and those weird thoughts and feelings are gonna happen.

and if Buckzo and Mammon did date for a while, I guess Mammon could of got a restraining order on Buckzo.

if Devil from Cuphead series were to meet Ozzie from Helluva Boss, I think he might have a Squidward moment and scream in his thoughts about Ozzie.

like the words being “Oh, No. He’s Hot!” which has become like a favorite of fans to use in different fan arts of different series.

I guess Ozzie is a bit attractive, he seems like really fluffy, and might be super cuddly, but if he so much as tries to touch me in a certain way, I will have to slap him, I mean if he was real, but like he is a ficto-version of the ones from the stories about him....and I guess my possibly having a small crush on Ozzie from Helluva Boss, wouldn’t really be from lust.

plus it can be possible for some fans to get a crush on both Ozzie and Fizzy, but view them as their OTP ship and want those two to be together.

plus there can be different levels of crushes on ficto-characters from different series, some being small crushes and some being big crushes.

like one of my crushes being Garrus Vakarian from Mass Effect.

I can be Aroaceflux and still have some form of interest in romance and even get crushes, but like I don’t really want to try to date any real human being at this moment in time, I had bad luck with that before, even if it was only online and never really real life, and well if I did go to a dance before, with a guy, it was not really romantic and was more platonic.

I mean Peridot from Steven Universe, she is Aroace and she ships two of her favorite characters together from Camp Pining Hearts.

it be funny if Peridot gets Alastor from Hazbin Hotel, hooked on that show.

in a Multiverse Crossover, that could happen in the Fanon.

Vox would be the next one to end up watching Camp Pining Hearts,

like picture Vox and Alastor fighting but then stop when they look at the time and start running to the nearest TV and watching Camp Pining Hearts, the classic version.

that is a weird thought, but I love that thought of those two fighting one moment but then stop to watch Camp Pining Hearts.

and if Husk and Angel are in the same room with Padparascha,

Padparascha being her adorable precious cinnamon roll self, might let out a secret of one of the two.

like her saying “I Predict That Husk Will Think Angel Looks Pretty Today”

and since the thought already happen, Husk could be embarrassed and Angel could be really happy that Husk thinks he looks pretty today.

anyway even if it is just wishful thinking, I hope there will be a type of himbo contest someday, and Devil from the Cuphead Show will become a part of it.

because well the moment he acted the way he did in some of the episodes he was in so far, I couldn’t help but view him as a himbo and a bit of a cute idiot.

he can’t hide the flame of the himbo inside himself, he is 100% a himbo.

also the reason why I view Tucker from Red Vs Blue as a himbo, is because of the cute idiot moment he had some seasons back when he thought he went back in time and thought Donut was Sarge.

when he isn’t being a perv, he can be a cute idiot and a bit of a himbo.

also I want to play it safe, so I put the “not for kids” and “mature audiences only” tags for this post...

see ya later, stay safe everyone and hope some don’t mind my weird view of Devil from Cuphead Show being a Himbo and a Cute Idiot.

#devil cuphead #cuphead show #himbo #cute idiots #talking about feelings #cuphead game #not for kids #mature audiences only

4 notes · View notes

andrea-lyn · 3 years

Text

look at me, I am old, but I’m happy

(for @christchex because I truly believe her to be #1 Sanders supporter)

The damn kids are keeping something from him. None of them are good liars at the best of times, but every time Sanders shows up when Michael’s friends are around, suddenly they go real quiet. At first, he writes it off as stupid youthful hormone shit. It’s probably something to do with that Manes boy that Michael doesn’t want to talk about. Only, then Alex Manes starts coming around, Michael’s a lot happier, and the weird behavior keeps going. Something’s up, and it’s something Michael’s actively not telling him. “You know, I ought to fire you,” Sanders says one Sunday, when he and Michael are working on the sunflower fields. Michael scoffs, glancing up from the seeding mechanism he’s been working to fix, but he avoids meeting Sanders’ eyes. He’s known this boy since he tripped out of a pod and he knows when he’s about to be lied to. “I’d like to see you try,” he mutters, but his curiosity is sparked. “Why are you bothering to do that when most of my time is volunteered?” “Because you and your friends are keeping something from me.” “We’re not,” Michael lies. “You’re a terrible liar, boy,” Sanders warns, but he lets him get away with it. Just this once, he lets him. Michael waves him off and grabs his bundle of sunflowers to take back to the Airstream. He doesn’t say what or who they’re for, but Sanders knows. It’s the Manes boy, who’s been lurking around and grinning like an idiot all the time. With Michael gone, Sanders is left to consider what it is that’s being whispered about behind his back. There’s enough alien secrets in this town to fill a gossip rag, but Michael’s been fairly honest with him recently, even if he’s been trying to hide how gone he is over his thing with Alex Manes. The truth is this -- he’s an old man. The boy he used to be is a memory and a distant one at that. He’s taken Walt and locked him away behind mountains of bottles and liquor. There’s so much trauma related to those days that he actively works as hard as he can to forget it, and that’s why it takes him so long to realize that maybe he actually knows a bit more than he realizes when it comes to one of those alien secrets.

The secret they’re keeping comes to roost soon after. Well, roost ain’t exactly the word. “They still allow relics like you in this place?”

When Sanders had still been a child and had been happy with Miss Nora and Miss Louise, he’d always recalled their tension around the man they called Jones. They tried to keep it a secret from him then, too, and it’s irritating as hell that history’s repeating it-damn-self. “Relics like me belong more than you do around here,” Sanders scoffs, tossing the wrench into the toolbox. “I’m looking for Michael.” Sanders turns to take in the look of him. He blames his age on the fact that Max Evans never made him feel that icy chill down his spine to spark recognition. All those years with that face in front of him and he never remembered Jones, not until the alien himself busted out and started scaring Sanders all over like he’s a kid. He’s not a kid, though. He’s an old man tired of this bullshit and he’s not about to let an asshole push him around. “Michael,” Sanders says sharply, “ain’t none of your business.” “He’s none of yours either,” Jones says calmly. “Besides, you’re right. It’s not business. It’s family.” It comes back in fits and starts. Miss Nora’s discomfort with Jones’ hand on her shoulder, but the possessive way Jones held onto her. The way Jones had always seemed more occupied with one of the pods. The possessive and keen look in his eye when he’d looked at Walt dismissively, like a human child that Nora took a liking to could never pass muster. There’s only one explanation that Sanders sees, but as far as he’s concerned, it’s crap. “You’re not that boy’s father,” Sanders scoffs. “Or, you might be by blood or whatever alien junk flows through those veins of yours. That boy needed a father growing up and I sure as hell didn’t do the job well enough, but at least I’ve been here. At least I’ve been trying. That’s a hell of a lot more than you can say.” He’s an old and very stupid man, seeing as he knows how much Jones can hurt him. That raised alien hand glowing furiously red is a bad sign, but Sanders decides that if this is how he’s going out, defending Michael is the way he wants to go. “I might have been late getting my act cleaned up, but I still gave him everything I could. I’d die for that boy,” Sanders vows. “For my kid.” Jones scoffs, amused by Sanders’ loyalty like it’s a joke, but then, he always has been an ass, hasn’t he? “Funny you should say that, because today’s your lucky day for getting what you want.” He approaches swiftly, but before he can seal that glowing hand on Sanders’ chest, he just … stops. Sanders refuses to blink. He’s going to stare down his death as long as Jones wants to kill him, which is why he doesn’t notice that he’s being held in place by someone else’s alien powers. “Try,” Michael Guerin snaps at Jones, where he’s holding a bundle of sunflowers in one hand, and holding Jones in place with the other. “You’re not gonna like what happens to you.” Sanders is pretty sure Michael’s bluffing and that when it comes to these two, Michael’s not the one with the upper hand. Still, Jones is playing some kind of long game, because he steps back and lifts both hands up, stepping back and away. “Just two old friends catching up,” he insists, a look in his eyes that says he’s coming back to find Sanders when Michael’s not around. Still, he goes. He goes and he doesn’t look back, leaving Sanders to exhale, slumping over the pick-up truck he’s been working on. “What the hell were you thinking?” Michael demands. “Taunting him like that? He’s an evil dictator! He’s…” “Yeah, yeah, I got the gist decades ago,” Sanders cuts him off. “All I know is what he’s not, and that’s any kind of father to you. Because I might not be the world’s best Dad, but when it comes to it these days, he doesn’t get to swan in and make you feel like you owe him anything. He doesn’t get to make you feel like you belong to him.” This is all getting too damn emotional for him, but he wants to make one thing clear. “I know I didn’t manage the way I should’ve, but if anyone’s a father to you these days, it’s me.” With that said, he gives a firm nod, and hopes that he’s not going to do anything embarrassing like start crying about it. Well, he might not, but Michael’s struggling to keep it together, by the looks of it, so maybe that’s exactly what it is he needs to hear. “What the hell are you doing back here anyway?” Sanders grunts, when the awkward silence drags on too long. Michael clears his throat, gesturing to the Airstream with the flowers (and conveniently wiping at his nose). “I forgot some papers that I wanted to go over with Alex,” he says, “Lucky I did, or you would’ve been alien dust.” “I got a few tricks up my old sleeves,” Sanders promises, even if he doesn’t have them yet. “So. You and Alex Manes, huh? You ready to admit to me that it’s a thing yet?” Michael wrinkles his nose, but he’s clearly not thinking about Jones anymore, so Sanders considers it a mission accomplished. “How about you start worrying about how much of a thing it is when Alex needs to come get permission from my Dad to marry me,” Michael quips, and he sounds free and happy and brazen and goddamn high. It’s the most that Sanders could ever hope for. “That likely to happen anytime soon?” Michael shrugs, ducking back out of the Airstream with the papers. “You know I don’t do things slow.” “Don’t I ever,” he mutters. “Just warn me before I got alien grandchildren running around the damn scrapyard, will you? The place needs to be alien-proofed.” The look of sheer glee on Michael’s face settles something in Sanders’ chest. He knows he’s happy. He knows he’s settled. He might have missed too many damn years when he was younger, but at least he’s trying now. “Go on,” Sanders encourages. “Go be with your friend,” he teases. “You gonna be okay?” “I’ve survived worse,” Sanders promises. “Now, get,” he insists, and watches Michael leave the scrapyard, off to woo his paramour. As for him? Well, he’s got a hell of a long drive ahead of him to get to the reservation if he wants to pick up some pollen, but after tonight, Sanders figures he ought to protect himself. He’s got a family to worry about, after all.

#roswell new mexico #fic #my fic #sanders #malex #jones #aka the battle between michael's fathers #rnm fic #s3 spoilers

224 notes · View notes

autisticandroids · 3 years

Note

Oh patron saint of mpreg, tell us, what is the absolute gold standard canon divergent mpreg scenario with Cas and Dean?

so for me the gold standard is for cas to get pregnant due to some kind of magical or metaphysical situation that dean at least does not perceive as sex. bonus points is cas is hesitant about it but refuses to explain why (because he doesn't know how dean will deal with the concept of himself being able to potentially get cas pregnant), so dean is like "we're doing it anyway" and then they do it and then cas doesn't tell anyone that he is pregnant until circumstances force the information out of him. and then dean has to deal with the fact that 1) cas can get pregnant, 2) cas is pregnant, 3) it's his, and he does so pretty poorly.

the rest is under a cut because this post is over 2.5k words long.

my favorite times for this to happen are at the end of season nine, just before dean dies and gets demonized in do you believe in miracles, and at the start of season twelve, just before sam and dean go to jail, because the pining in both those scenarios is delicious but it is so much more powerful if cas is also pregnant, and never even told dean. double points if the truth somehow comes out while they're separated so when dean comes back it's like. yeah cas is pregnant. it's yours. welcome home dean now you have to coddle cas' emotions because he thought he would have to raise your baby alone.

the season twelve scenario is particularly delicious because 1) we can have lucifer slut shaming cas in front of crowley in rock never dies, so crowley knows before dean, and 2) much more importantly, mary is there, and i am obsessed with like. okay. several things.

- the idea of mary getting all baby fever because she misses her boys and this is like. a baby she can take care of because she never got to take care of sam

- the idea of dean working through some of his parentification trauma by coparenting a child with the parent whose place he felt he had to take

- the idea of mary coming in and projecting her insane 1980s gender roles all over cas, suddenly treating him like a woman, stripping him of agency, etc. and like. dean would also do this even though he's not from the eighties, but mary would do it double strength, and they would reinforce each other, it would be a nightmare

- also mary trying to relate to cas on the Travails Of Motherhood etc. and cas being like ?????????? like i cannot stress enough that the weird gender roles she projects onto cas are also standards that she held herself to back when she was a Wife And Mother. while cas is like mary i am not a human woman and also i don't see what "having to look pretty for my man when i'm all baby bloaty" has to do with anything. that's not something i feel like i have to do

oh and 3) could you imagine lily sunder has some regrets if cas was pregnant? unfathomable episode. like ishim and mirabel's reaction but ALSO lily's. and it would fix the number one issue i have with lily sunder, which is that the resolution of the moral dilemma is "well AKSHUALLY the kid was human and not a nephilim so killing it was bad" rather than "it was bad to kill lily's baby, full stop." like ishim's cover up and using the machinery of power to manipulate the truth is very compelling, but the fact that it results in the moral essentially being "it would have been okay if the kid had been a nephilim" suuuuuucks.

basically, there's a reason i have two entire mpreg aus set in season twelve.

and then the delicious part in the season nine version is like. one, dean is away for much longer and he could be anywhere. also he's a demon and he's cheating on cas with crowley. and then even when cas gets him back he's still cursed with the mark, so we can get all weepy over that. you know. i'm the one who's going to have to watch you murder the world and i'm eight months pregnant. etc etc.

but the other thing that's juicy about this version is that cas is still semi-involved with the other angels at this point, like he's roadtripping around with hannah and they're trying to get heaven under control, so carrying a nephil is going to really affect those relationships. so he's going to be probably disliked by the other angels, and there are MANY opportunities for slut-shaming, but at the same time, the other "outcast" type angels might respect him for violating heaven's dictates.

and then of course there's his grace vampirism victorian wasting disease. in canon he's perfectly happy to let himself die, but if he were having dean's baby he would absolutely not do that, that's dean's baby he's endangering there. so of course there's the terrible guilt of having to kill other angels so he can live, plus potentially preparing to die shortly after childbirth so he doesn't have to keep killing. delicious.

and on top of all this cas can get slutshamed by metatron in, depending on when exactly he gets knocked up, meta fiction, stairway to heaven, and do you believe in miracles. plus stairway to heaven would be insane like all the angels would know that cas is pregnant. they would see it in his grace. like cas' angel army would just. know that he was pregnant with a nephil, and have to accept that because he's their leader. in love with humanity indeed.

i'm trying to think of other good times for this drama with cas getting secretly pregnant through a nonsexual interaction to take place. it would be great in season six. like: he's doing a blasphemy with his body but at the same time he's this big important rebel leader so they can't say shit about him, and also he's pregnant while fighting these big important battles (fun and sexy), AND this is like, hot on the heels of the realization that something about his feelings for dean is untoward, expands beyond the bounds of ordinary friendship and camaraderie. like he realizes that, and maybe even that he has sexual feelings for dean, and then he gets immediately knocked up. stunning.

it would ALSO be extremely fun for it to be some kind of... i don't know, magical longer gestation times, whatever, but for cas to have gotten pregnant sometime in s5 and only realized during the Year Of Lisa. LOVE to watch a man rake leaves while both metaphorically carrying the taint of taboo sexual feelings for him and literally carrying his child.

but the thing about season six is, first of all, cas isn't really... envisioning a future with dean. not the way he does in the later seasons. like does he fantasize about a future with dean? yes. like. he really did watch that motherfucker rake leaves. but it's only fantasy. he expected to never speak to dean again after swan song until dean prayed to him in the third man. he's obsessed with dean, but it's distant. remote.

like, we talk about cas babytrapping dean in the later seasons with jack, and he absolutely does, and he would do it even more if dean got him literally pregnant, but that babytrap is about... how do i put this. it's about winning dean's affection. late seasons cas knows that he's going to die by dean's side. the difference that babytrapping dean makes is that maybe it will get dean to be nice to him in the mean time, instead of discarding him like so much toilet paper.

but season six cas doesn't think of it like that. if he were gonna babytrap dean, it would be in the more traditional sense of forcing dean to stay with him in order to raise their child together. and he would never do that. he wants dean to have a happy future, which in his mind does not include him. like, compare here "he's retired and he's to stay that way" in the man who would be king, where cas assumes that dean is happy without him and expects him to live out his days peacefully without ever seeing him again, to "i'm the one who's going to have to watch you murder the world" in the prisoner, where cas assumes that he will be by dean's side for centuries.

but anyway, the other, much more important problem with season six is that cas has a war to fight. like, in the later seasons, cas really has nothing. even when he's on tenuous good terms with the angels, he doesn't really have a home with them. the winchesters are his family, and he'd give up anything for them. he has nothing in his life. he's at rock bottom, and this becomes truer the further along you go. late seasons cas has nothing he would prioritize over serving the winchesters, and he would be happy dropping anything he was involved in to have and raise dean's baby. parenting would give him a purpose that he no longer has, because everything else has been stripped from him.

but in season six cas has a life outside of them. like yes, he has a war to fight, but he also has a place in heaven, with the other angels. he belongs somewhere, he has solid connections to the outside world. even if he didn't have a war to fight, i don't know how excited he would be to have and raise a baby (even dean's baby) because he simply has other things he could be doing. he's involved in the world beyond the winchesters.

like, the reason cas wants to be a parent is that he is totally alone and totally purposeless. having a child gives him both a reason for being and someone who will always love him and who he can care for. if he doesn't have that hole in his life he might not be so eager to fill it with a baby.

for all these reasons, this plotline really doesn't work in season six, because you simply cannot justify cas not getting an abortion, unless you do something nasty like make angel abortion impossible, which i don't love.

you COULD somehow put the impregnation just at the end of season six, maybe just before the man who would be king, such that cas doesn't realize he's pregnant until he's already godstiel. you guys are unfortunately very aware of how obsessed i am with pregnant godstiel.

actually, @jeanne-de-valois has a concept of like. a single, madness fueled midnight hookup immediately pre-tmwwbk (or maybe even during, but prior to the superman mistake), where cas is simultaneously so stressed from being stretched so thin from the war and the lying and the shady dealings, and so high on being The Big Man In Heaven, that he's bold and out of his mind enough to actually come onto dean, like he just appears one night in dean's bedroom and is like, fuck me, and dean is like 👁👄👁 okay. so they have one single adrenaline and madness fueled hookup, and then everything immediately goes to shit.

and i think that's a great place for cas to get pregnant, and then he doesn't realize until he's become god, or maybe he does and he's just like "i'll deal with it later," either way godstiel is like oh? i carry dean's heir inside me? i will have dean's baby. i will have dean's baby it is my right and also my boon to him and also a symbol of my great and magnanimous love for humanity. and also maybe i will put giant paintings of myself pregnant with his child up in churches. what about that. which would be fun. don't know when he would give birth though. actually it would be insane if he gave birth as emmanuel and was just like. raising dean's nephil when dean found him again. nuts. but it just doesn't really have the same flavor as late seasons mpreg. doesn't compel me nearly as much. like the symbolism of godstiel being pregnant with dean's child is fun and sexy but them actually raising the kid afterwards doesn't compel me nearly as much, so it's better to leave literal mpreg to the later seasons and let godstiel mpreg reside in symbolism and fantasy.

or maybe the fetus gets stolen by the leviathans when cas walks into the lake and dean has to battle his leviathanated nephil daughter as the main villain of s7. like she's dick roman's secret weapon. i think that would be fun, actually. kind of an emma situation but drawn out over the whole season. and he thinks cas is dead for most of it so she's all he's got left of cas and a mess cas left for him to clean up. big sexy.

and as a bonus, i will also tell you the best time, imo, for dean to get pregnant: near the end of season eight. possibly a single, tragic farewell fuck in sacrifice when cas is planning to lock himself away in heaven and they're never gonna see each other again. and this impregnates dean with cas' nephil.

but then cas is human. and he can't do anything about it. like generally if they managed to get dean pregnant somehow, cas would immediately talk him into an abortion (which wouldn't be too hard; dean's natural white midwestern man who doesn't vote aversion to abortion would be at war with the horror of being pregnant, and the horror would win), or might not even inform dean that he's pregnant, and just quietly end the pregnancy without dean's knowledge, because cas would never put dean through that. but if cas is human, he can't do that. and furthermore, that nephil is the last evidence of his angelic nature that persists. it's the last of what he used to be, the last of his grace. and there's something absolutely delectable about that.

then of course dean would have to leave the bunker if he was pregnant with a nephil, because angels would be after him, and he wouldn't want to lead them to gadreel, so i am imagining dean discovering that he's pregnant and then showing up in a panic at the gas n sip like "actually cas i'm also out of the bunker will you go on the run with me?" and then they go on the run and have to live in motels again and cas gets to live with take care of dean who is pregnant with his child which is essentially his dream, and he doesn't have to feel guilty because he's no longer capable of giving dean an abortion so he doesn't feel obligated to get him to have one. ideally cas gets re-angeled just in time to give dean an angelic c-section. or maybe they rely on a normal human c-section in a hospital and cas stays human and they are two humans raising their nephil, which is also fun to me.

#spn #asks #anonymous #mpregpocalypse

198 notes · View notes

cardanapologist · 3 years

Text

OKAY i wanna review “it ends with us” so here it is, under the cut because there are spoilers

Firstly, I really appreciate this story not being what Colleen Hoover COULD have made it. I appreciate that there was a good guy and a bad guy but also a good bad guy and bad good guy.

I want to preface this review by saying that in class today, we talked about how trauma changes us biologically and that’s how it’s transferred from generation through generation. It’s a coincidence that I learned about that today because of how this story unfolded. I think the most important part of this story, aside from Atlas who has my heart, is the trauma that’s passed down from Lily’s mom to her. There’s a direct link there, but it also makes me wonder if Ryle has had some sort of intergenerational trauma passed down to him. I would have assumed religious trauma haha

But to me, Ryle has severe obsessive tendencies. He was on his knees before Lily within the third time he’d seen her! I want to know what previous relationship failures he’s had. I want to know why he is the way that he is, because clearly, Hoover shows that there’s more to Ryle than his anger.

I have mixed feelings about Ryle being in Lily’s life. I get that Hoover’s dad was a good dad, though not a good husband, but I also feel like a child should know the relationship between its mom and dad when it grows older. So what are Ryle and Lily going to say to Emerson? I feel like Ryle should have been distant from Lily and Emerson for more than a few weeks. I wish we got an insight into the therapy Ryle goes to.

That being said, we already know a lot about Ryle and Lily individually. We know about Lily’s parents. WHAT ABOUT ATLAS???

I love Atlas. I love that he wasn’t written as the savior. I want more from Atlas. I want to know what he thought about in the past 9 years. I want to know what he did in his free time, if he ever looked her up on social media, if he ever thought about walking back on his actions to try to seek Lily out. I feel like there’s SO MUCH to talk about with Atlas. I want an Atlas book. And I want it right now.

I did like how Lily kept pushing Ryle away. I also liked how she had a moment of weakness. I liked how Atlas said that she was acting like her mother. I liked how Atlas didn’t give up on his own dreams. I liked how Atlas was both happy and sad about her happiness. I liked how it was always implied that Lily kept him with her. I liked how Lily and her mother made up.

Again, not sure how I feel about Ryle being present in Lily’s life even after 3 times that he physically hurt her. Intention or not. Intoxicated or not. But I think that Hoover did this because WE aren’t in Lily’s shoes so we’re not expected to understand. Maybe it’s for the same reasons that married couples who argue a lot stay together: for the kids. It’s weird and it makes me uncomfortable, but I think that was the intention.

SO! 5 stars from me. Would recommend. Maybe I did get triggered a few times because of my own family issues, BUT that’s a discussion for a different time.

Also, I didn’t cry during the book, but I cried at the author’s note. Thanks for that Colleen.

#it ends with us #lily bloom #atlas corrigan #ryle kincaid #colleen hoover

41 notes · View notes

alltheboysandgirlsiloved · 3 years

Text

The Mermaid Theory

Or, as i like to call it:

How is Kenji’s trauma related to Mantah Corp

subject: Kenji’s obsession with mermaids and how it can be related to the storyline in general

(warning: this is longer than anticipated)

Lettuce begin:

Kenji Kon (age: 15) is one of the main characters appearing in Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous. He ended up on the camp because his dad is filthy rich which Kenji often uses to make a point. Some other traits that we relate to his character are: general dorkiness, loyalty and self-esteem issues (deeply rooted with how his entire confidence is mostly based on how much he thinks it depends on his wealth, however it is not a subject for today)

One of the things that the fans picked on while watching the show is Kenji’s strange obessesion with mermaid.

The first time a mermaid is mentioned by Kenji is actually in episode 2 season 1, when he says “a dream is like when you save mermaids from a shark”. We all thought that this comparison is just a form of a comic relief. But bro, I don’t think it’s funny anymore, in fact I think that it’s one of the signs of trauma or a distant memory. The kind of memory that maybe even Kenji himself doesn’t understand quite well.

The mermaid keeps coming back every now and then, the two moments that I want to mention here are:

the scene when Yaz wakes Kenji up and he mumbles something about “saving a mermaid” to which Yaz asks him if he only ever dreams about mermaids (which is an indicator that it’s a re-occuring dream)

little Kenji’s drawing that Sammy finds in his father’s photoalbum. The drawing shows a family (presumably Kenji’s family) and a mermaid

Based on that we can assume one thing for sure: mermaids (or one mermaid) were an important part of Kenji’s childhood. Whether they were an imaginary friend or something more real is up to you to decide.

Let’s keep that in our minds and focus on something else. Or rather: someone else aka Kenji’s father.

He’s a bizzare character. We’ve never seen him. He seems absent from Kenji’s life and yet he is in the background to everything that happens in his life. Ha, more than that. This seemingly gloomy and very neglectful person seems to also be looming over one more thing:

The entire Jurassic World.

Kenji’s father is a part of Jurassic World (the park) in a way that seems fitting and completely out of place at the same time. Yes, sure, he is rich but the more you think about it, the weirder his “presence” is.

You know what resonates with the same exact energy?

Mantah Corp. They are there but at the same time - where the hell are they? Who’s in charge? Where are all the big, phat fishes, huh?

I know that this theory may be slightly far-fetched but I think that one of these fishes is in fact Kenji’s father. Kenji’s father who has a bazillion of secrets (for some reason Kenji is not allowed to enter one wing of their house). Kenji’s father who is always busy. Kenji’s father who is so influential that park empoyees allow his kid run around Jurassic World mostly unsupervised. Kenji’s father who owns a very suspiciously-looking building in a part of the island that is closed to the public. A building with a dock that is not on any map.

A building that doesn’t look like “just a penthouse”. It looks like a business building. Everything in Jurassic World has a meaning, everything more or less fits into that “jungle-like” aesthetic. But not Casa de Kenji. No, it looks like a place where important people hold their meetings. We know for sure that it’s not a hotel and yet it has many floors. Casa de Kenji is a building that for some reason keeps at least 5 limos in the garage.

My point is that Kenji’s father and everything related to him is very suspicious. And the fact that Kenji doesn’t know much about him doesn’t help it either.

So let’s theoretically assume that Kenji’s father is related to Mantah Corp. What do we know about Mantah Corp?

Mantah Corp is a bioengineering and genetic oriented company. They hired (more like black-mailed) Sammy to spy for them in JWCC because they wanted to aquire InGen’s research and technology.

Now, some of you could ask: “Okay but if that’s the case then why Kenji’s father didn’t steal the genes/technology already? He has access to everything after all?”

That’s a great question and I have a very simple answer to that - money and power. I think that Big Kon has too much to lose. If it was discovered that either he or Kenji are spying he could lose everything he accomplished so far. If there’s one thing rich people love it’s using other people to do the dirty work (enter Sammy).

Now. Now for the final question:

How is it possible that Kenji has no idea?

The answer is, once again, simple - mermaids.

As I mentioned earlier Mantah Corp is a company that deals with bioengineering and genetics. Just because they are not as sucessful as InGen doesn’t mean that they’ve never accomplished anymore. Or - should I say - that they accomplished something that they’ve never showed to the public.

I think, that in fact they probably accomplished a lot behind the closed doors. But you know who had access there? Innocent baby Kenji who didn’t even know what he was looking at.

(using e750 picture in a tank because I don’t own a mermaid in a tank therefore I can’t offer a realistic picture)

What would a child think if they saw weird creatures trapped in tanks? What would he think if he saw creatures that didn’t look very human-like, yet that were alive and perhaps even showed some form of intelligence?

The kid would assume that it’s a mermaid. Or marmaids. That someone trapped. That need to be saved. (Kenji never indicates that he is afraid of the mermaids, if anything he wants to be their protector)

And if said child started talking, mentioning the mermaids, drawing them, what would the parent do? They would lock the doors and never let the kid inside ever again. They would try to protect the kid (or protect the business, with Kenji’s father it’s hard to tell).

One more thing.

I’ve seen some people say that the mermaid on Kenji’s drawing is actually his mother. I gotta be honest I’m not completely sold on this theory). But it doesn’t mean that the mermaid can’t be related to Kenji’s mother at all. Think about it. If Kenji’s father is so dedicated to work, maybe his mother was just the same. Maybe she worked at Mantah Corp’s labs and when Kenji asked “where is my mum?” his father (or a babysitter, my bet is on the babysitter) would tell him “she’s at the lab”. And what’s also in the lab? Mermaids. that’s how Kenji connected mermaids to his mother, who most likely died at some point.

Because he had little to none memories of her, he connected the mermaid with his mother. Yet the memory of a mermaid was still more vivid. It replaced the memory of his mother. That’s why he’s more focused on this creature than his mother (that he never mentioned).

My other theory is that his mother actually died even earlier, maybe in an accident that happened in the lab, or maybe she simply worked there and that’s the only thing Kenji remembers about her. Either way baby Kenji saw mermaids are part of his family. Because his parents spent most of their time with these creatures.

The third theory is that Kenji’s mother was against what Mantah Corp was doing with their research and experiements. She wanted to expose them and the people at Mantah Corp didn’t react too well. Being aware of that Kenji’s father promised himself to keep his kid away from that mess to protect him. That’s why he never allowed Kenji to come back to the lab. (seems gloomy and sad but not entierly impossible)

Conclusion:

Does The Mermaid Theory explain everything? Absolutely not. there are still many questions left. I feel like the theory would be more complete if we knew a little bit more about Kenji’s mother or more about Casa de Kenji.

Either way I thought this little theory was interesting enough to be shared with the community.

If you’ve made it this far - thanks for reading. It would mean a lot if you passed it on, shared it, shared your opinions, shared your own theories. My brain is jwcc-wired so the more conversation this theory sparks, the better for me.

Once again, thanks for reading! I really hope that season 4 will explain a little bit more in terms of Mantah Corp and Kenji’s mermaids.

#either way ANGST #the mermaid theory #i love kenji so much and it really want to see his background story pls #camp cretaceous #jurassic world camp cretaceous #jurassic world #jwcc #kenji #kenji kon #jwcc kenji #camp cretacerous kenji #camp cretacerous theory #jwcc theory #camp cretacerous season 4

105 notes · View notes

krispytidalwavesheep · 3 years

Note

a Natasha x fem!reader where Nat has been distant and reader thinks shes cheating, but in actuality she lost the engagement ring she got for reader (maybe because of another team member 👀) and is trying not to let her find out

My lovely anon, thanks for the prompt! I added a lot of backstory, I hope you still like it!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You and Natasha have been together for the better part of three years and you always thought you two were happy. When you joined the team 4 years back, and you got along like a house on fire, since your pasts were quite similar. Natasha was a victim of the red room and you were a victim of Hydra. They ripped you away from your family when you were still a child and trained you to become one of the best assassins they ever had. They took everything from you, broke you into pieces, and put you together just the way they needed you. But you were very stubborn, waiting for a chance to escape their clutches.

And 6 years ago, your chance came. Some Shield Agents were infiltrating one of your bases and as luck would have it, you were right in the middle of it, taking Hydra Agents out left and right. That's where you met Clint, after the worst of the fighting was over he held you at gunpoint, demanding answers. You couldn't help yourself, all your pent up emotions broke free and you broke down crying, telling him everything. Maybe it was the relief that came with the realization that it was finally over and that you were finally free. Or so you thought.

Even though Clint pitied you and stood up for you, they still took you in for questioning. But you weren't bothered all that much by that, since you understood where they were coming from. You have been with Hydra for almost twenty years, of course, they wouldn't trust you, just because you broke down in front of one of their best agents. Still, you were afraid. What would they do to you? Would they torture you for information and kill you, cast you away once you outlived your usefulness?

They put you in chains and you went willingly. Agent Hill got the job of questioning you and you gave them everything you've got. Locations, double agents, everything you thought would keep you alive for just a little while longer. Your cell wasn't all that bad, and sometimes Clint would come over to check up on you, asking about what they did to you. That was the hard part. You knew they sent him to test if you would be trustworthy, or if you would betray them, just like you betrayed Hydra.

It wasn't easy to tell them everything. You were scared that Hydra would get back to you and it would all be over. They would torture you, kill you in the worst possible way. Hydra didn't like loose ends.

“I know someone who is quite like you... Less open though. We couldn't get any information out of her for months. But then again, her circumstances were a bit different than yours” Clint told you one day, and you got curious.

“Her name is Natasha, but don't tell anyone that I told you that. Especially her, if you're ever gonna meet her” he said and scratched his neck.

“So I am still not trustworthy?” You asked bitterly, getting tired of all the questioning. It has been months and you already gave them all you got, including your sad backstory.

“Don't give up just yet y/n... I think you won't be a prisoner for that much longer” Clint smirked and winked. And he was right. Two weeks later you were set free, under one condition: You had to join shield as a special agent. Of course, you agreed, since it would keep you safe from Hydra too. But they wanted to test you and test you they did. That was when you first met Natasha and the second you saw her, you knew you were done for. You seduced many men and women when you were with Hydra, and a lot of those people were stunning. But you never met someone so beautiful.

“So you are the Hydra-Girl?” she asked matter of factly when she entered your cell. You didn't know what to say to that, still mesmerized by her. Later you would say that it was love at first sight, just to mess with her.

“Uhm... yeah? Unless you took other stray Hydra-Girls in, that is” you stuttered. She smiled at that and said, “They want me to test your combat abilities.”

You already thought that that was the reason why they sent her and you followed her eagerly, happy to be out of your cell for once. She took you to the basement of the building, where they had the biggest training room you have ever seen. Clint was there too.

“Look what the cat dragged in!” he smiled and to your utter surprise, fist-bumped you. You hadn't much time to talk though, since Natasha motioned for you to get into position.

“Don't hold back. I won't either” she said and crouched. You smiled and got into position too. It was a surprisingly long fight since you hadn't had much time to work out in your cell and with all that questioning. But what after felt like hours you had Natasha pinned down to the ground.

“Wow... I don't think anyone ever managed that!” Clint whooped from the sidelines and you grinned, helping Natasha up.

“Nice work Rookie. My name is Natasha Romanoff and Clint and I will keep an eye on you from now on. I'll bring you back to your room, where you can get settled. After that, we will show you around the facility.”

And that's where your life finally truly began. Most people were still cautious with you, but Natasha, Clint and you developed a fast friendship. You soon became the resident Hacker for Shield, since they didn't want to risk losing you to Hydra on field missions. You were the gal in the chair and you were content. And soon enough, Fury trusted you enough to make you a part of the Avengers. Right about the same time you confessed to Natasha that you fell in love with her and to your utter surprise, she felt the same way. You two were happy, sure, not everything was sunshine and rainbows, mostly because the two of you suffered such huge traumas. But at the end of the day, everything was worth it and you finally felt like you belong.

That is why you were upset right now. Natasha was acting weird, distancing herself from you. Most nights she even slept in her room, which only happened if you had a huge fight and never for more than one night. You were barely talking anymore, not for a lack of trying on your part though. She just slipped away more and more and you wondered where you went wrong. You tried talking to her on more than one occasion, but she would always have another excuse as to why she couldn't talk right now.

The worst was yet to come, though. You finally managed to corner her and you were pretty sure she couldn't slip away that easily now, but of course, she didn't. She just mumbled some excuse of going on an overnight mission with Clint, but that she would talk to you when she got back. Funny enough, when you wandered to the compound kitchen later that night, Clint sat beside Peter, happily talking about some archery tricks.

“Oh, I thought you were on an overnight mission with Natasha?” you frowned as you entered the kitchen and Clint looked... guilty? What was going on? And then it hit you. Natasha was cheating on you, she must have found someone else and that was the reason she was behaving so weirdly.

“List y/n I can explain-” Clint tried but you just growled at him and went back to your room. You couldn't believe it. You thought you and Natasha were happy, that you loved each other and were faithful. But somewhere along the way, she must have tired of you and someone else took your place. Anger overwhelmed you at that thought. How could she do that to you? And why didn't she tell you that she wasn't loving you anymore?

There was a small knock at your door, but you just shouted for them to go away. It was probably Clint with some shit-ass excuse and you didn't want to hear it. It was the ultimate betrayal. He knew that something was going on, but just like Nat, he choose to not tell you. Some friend he was... Tears were streaming down your face again and you collapsed onto your and Nat's shared bed. What did you do that everything went downhill? Were you just not enough anymore?

Self Doubt and guilt wracked you until the early morning sun shone into your room. You felt disgusting but you didn't care for one bit. There was another knock on your door different this time.

“Whoever it is, go away or I will break your fucking legs!” you shouted, but the door opened anyway. Natasha stood in the doorway, looking like a guilty puppy and soaking wet.

“Oh no, get your ass outta here. No wait, explain yourself first! Why would you do that to me? Why not just tell me that you don't love me anymore!” you sobbed and tried to get up, but your legs got tangled in the bedsheets.

“Y/n let me explain, please!” Natasha begged desperately and walked into the room.

“Explain what? That you are fucking cheating on me? I got that all by myself since Clint wasn't a part of your suspicious overnight mission!” you growled and gave up on getting on your feet.

“It's not like that! Please, just give me five minutes to explain myself, okay?”

You hated yourself for nodding, but you wanted answers more than anything.

“I'm not cheating on you babe, I love you too much to hurt you like this. This is all Clint's fault.” You scoffed at that. “Shit, I know this sounds horrible. Okay, listen, I was acting so weird because I was nervous. No, not nervous, terrified. Baby, I love you more than anything in this universe, never doubt that. I... I wanted to ask you something. But I didn't know how, because I've never done anything like that before. I had this big plan, that's why I was so distant because I was preparing. But then Clint had to go and lose the fucking ring I got for you-”

“Hang on. What ring? What the hell are you talking about?” you asked, slight panic and confusion evident in your voice. It couldn't be, could it?

“Okay, then we are doing it this way... I want to ask you to marry me, y/n. But when I showed Clint the ring he just had to stumble and drown it in the river. That's why I told you I had an overnight mission, I wanted to go and find the ring.”

“Are you stupid?” you choked and Nat looked at you, jaw-dropping. “Excuse me?” she asked but you started giggling. Nat was such a fucking idiot.

“Are you telling me, that you went out of your way, to search for the lost ring, in the middle of the night, where it is dark as fucking hell out there?” you started cry laughing now. You were so relieved.

“Oh just great, you are laughing your ass off, while I stand here, soaking wet, mind you, opening my heart up to you,” Nat pouted but you finally managed to break free from the bedsheets. You collapsed into her arms, sniffling and hugging her tight, rubbing her arms.

“You are the biggest idiot on this planet love. But you are my idiot. I love you more than anything too, and since you lost your ring, maybe we could use the one that I bought for you,” you whispered and kissed Nat's nose...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am still taking prompts, so hit me up if you have something for me!

#Natasha Romanoff x Reader #Black Widow x Reader #MarvelPrompts

285 notes · View notes

love-has-a-way-ofgrowingbackward · 3 years

Note

Okay so continued from this ask about Kyoko

Anyways, as introduced in THH, Kyoko is an extremely distant person with an iron mask, which intimidates everyone around her.

Everytime she happens to be described, she is described as something akin to a ghost aka not someone belonging to this world because of how ethereal her presence is.

She was moulded (read: traumatized) by her grandpa to become a detective to the extent that she was desperate to prove herself to him to not get kicked out like her father (she was also manipulated into believing that her father left because he didn't care about her by said grandpa) since her grandpa was...well the only one who had showed her a proper modicum of love at that point.

Her family took being a detective as something involving an extreme amount of honour which resulted in her trauma.

She also... didn't know what she was apart from a "perfect Detective" and was terrified of that internally (she has a LOT of parallels with Nagito which is why I REALLY want them to team up atleast ONCE likedanganronpaIambeggingyou), since she felt like an empty husk due to repressing her emotions since forever.

Because that's how a true detective should be (...it's really scary how MUCH she fits my own ideal of a detective), operating by cold hard logic to uncover the truth from the messy web of lies and make it known. A detective was to not take sides, nor aspire for fame (coughSherlockHolmescough), they must always remain neutral and not let personal feelings or prejudices come into the way, and she followed that.

Now, in the first game (I assume it was the worst for her since all she knew about herself was simply that she's a detective), everyone loses their memories of their school life with each other, leading them to believe that they had just met. They all remember their Ultimate Talents (heads up: An Ultimate Talent is something that you must be the very best at in your particular field in your age group. If you are like that, then Hope's Peak Academy personally scouts you and you are invited to attend the school as an "Ultimate"), apart from Kyoko.

Yeah, she quite possibly forgot that she was a detective, or atleast she forgot that she was the Ultimate of it, nevertheless, the main source of her self confidence and rigidity was lost to vague memory, which I believe caused her closed off ness to be more exaggerated, since I believe she was TERRIFIED. Imagine the one thing you stake your identity on....which you end up forgetting.

Throughout the game, she basically carries the class trials by herself and is virtually the only reason the six survivors are actually survivors.

However due to her upbringing, she has another issue which happens to be...

....severe trust issues. She has been told not to trust anyone and considering that they are in a literal KILLING GAME, you really can't blame her.

However, this leads to her downfall.

In Chapter 3, she disappears since she has presumably found a secret passage in the bathroom which she was investigating along with the school to find the secret of the Killing Game and the mastermind. She refuses to trust her classmates and shoulders the entire responsibility onto herself, since she desperately wants to uncover the truth....

.....her motto which she has been clinging onto for dear life, underneath all the turmoil.

Makoto (our sweet sweet protagonist, the nicest person ever in Danganronpa) notices this and gently tells her that she can rely on him....that she doesn't have to shoulder everything by herself. He doesn't act pushy, he just tells her that it's okay for her to trust people since she literally looked dazed when she came back in Chapter 3, and she goes,

"Okay, I will give this trusting people thing a try."

She then trusts him with the secret of the bathroom hidden passage but he ends up getting attacked and in bed. F.

Anyways, that causes him to become the target of the mastermind.

Now Kyoko, apparently due to her training is capable of hearing "Reaper's footsteps" aka she can "hear" when her or someone she really loves's death is close.

Now, when Makoto nearly gets killed by the mastermind, Kyoko hears it and fights them off. The mastermind had been planning to kill Makoto and frame her as his killer which she realised so she stays at his room until she's sure the danger has passed.

Anyways, she obviously leaves and then the rest of the classmates discover a dead body whose mask they try to take off but it explodes and Makoto notices that they are dressed the same way as his attacker was. Kyoko arrives way late which makes him wonder whether she had killed that person or not.

Fast forward to the trial where she says that it's now or never for her.

Anyways.

What we have to remember about Kyoko is her MAIN motivation aka solving the mystery. She wouldn't hesitate to make sacrifices to get to it. She is dedicated to her job.

[We also have to remember that she spent her life travelling from place to place, always shifting schools, causing a lack of proper attachments. The only attachment she had was her grandpa until she met Yui Samidare who dies pretty soon during a case via self sacrifice for Kyoko in a way. During all this, her motto and her dedication to it were the only constants].

Anyways.

The mastermind attempted to frame Kyoko for that particular dead body, but Kyoko manipulated the whole trial and framed Makoto as the culprit instead to save her own life.

Makoto gets sent to the execution but doesn't die since his Ultimate Luck talent saves him and he gets thrown into a trash dumpster.

Kyoko comes to save him and apologises. A small sign of trust since she literally never does that. Makoto was virtually the only one she trusted since despite her frosty exterior, he tried to get to know her, but didn't push and just gave her space......and said trust in her backfired and caused him to nearly die but anyways—.

At that point, Kyoko has remembered her Ultimate Talent (Ultimate Detective) and she trusts Makoto with that. She further trusts Makoto with telling him about her frustrations against her father. She didn't even admit them to herself until much much later.....and she trusts him enough to say that.....

....maybe because of how easily he forgave her but eh—

Anyways, she finds her father's skeleton in a nice little box, gift wrapped and everything which causes her to lose her composure ever so slightly and Makoto leaves to give her space to collect herself.

~~~~~

Even though the first game was essentially Hope VS Despair, it was also about Trust.

Since if you do not trust in the feeling of Hope, you will fall into despair.

Something we can see with Kirigiri in a way.

Kyoko being a detective is possibly the best way to broach the topic of trust, since lies and truth are directly connected to it.

If you are truthful with someone, then that usually means that you trust them.

Kyoko's motto was to remain neutral and without biases which caused her to actually develop a bias, nearly getting her best friend killed.

She wanted to solve the mystery and uncover the truth, however she also realised that without trusting others with some modicum of the truth, she wouldn't be able to do so.

When she arrives at the very end of Goodbye Despair in the 6th trial, it's nice to see her relationship with trust having grown enough to give the Remnants a second chance by trusting that they would be able to find the core truth inside themselves to break free from the lies crafted by the mastermind's brainwashing.

Hajime finds his own truth and decides to go "fuck this, I will make my OWN future" due to this.

[She ALSO finds out that her father was involved in Hajime's inhumane brainwashing which probably just destroyed her last bit of trust towards Hope's Peak Academy but eh].

In DR3, when she holds Naegi's hand with her ungloved burnt hands, it's a symbol of HOW much her trust has grown in order for her to bare her wounds like this to reach to him and pull him out of his own despair.

In conclusion: She's the best person ever and deserves the world

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST SHE SAW A WRAPPED GIFT OF HER FATHER'S SKELETON AND 'LOST HER COMPOSURE SLIGHTLY'???!!!! WHAT THE FUCK.

also she sounds creepily like you and kinda like me too this is so weird also she had daddy issues vibes I KNEW IT

Also i was so irrationally excited at the prospect of a nagito and kyoko pairing like its not like id be able to read it anyways but then i realised. it would be VERY similar to the sheep scene in loki. the sheer xNTx vibes my GOD.

also this is pretty much what happened to nico too and im scared of how we kin such similar characters im terrified

#makoto was jason :(#he was the first and maybe the only person nico trusted before the athena parthenos trip and his first friend and then he decided to #trust jason and trust chb maybe a little bit so he went and lived there but then #jason fucking died #sigh #and all his healing progress went right down and he went crazy #he's getting better now and will supports him so thats nice i guess but still i cant shake off how similar these two people's traumas are #just the trauma not the personality #she's an xNTx and nico is an xSFx #danganronpa #mahi's being mahi #sometimes i wonder if writers use the same moulds for characters and their traumas #like they're making cookies #ask #K!

11 notes · View notes

morepeachyogurt · 3 years

Text

we are good people (and we've suffered enough)

word count- 2.5k Pairing- Temily

Summary- After Scratch, Tara and Emily run away to Italy to start a new life, ft. cats, cafes, and gardening. Based on this post, and this prompt.

Part 2 of my, maybe we’re from the same star, series, work is a standalone, part 1

read here on ao3

tw’s- very minor mentions of substances and ptsd

Things were never the same after Mr. Scratch. The two of them were filled with more trauma than they had room for in their hearts to still hold each other in. Nights were no longer filled with a movie and cuddling, or talking about philosophy but tense sentences, paranoia, and nightmares. Tara knew that something needed to change, anything to stop the monotony of desolation. But still, they went to work every day and drowned their sorrows in killers like that would bring back the part of her that died when Scratch took Emily. There are only so many times one can be held captive and wait for death before something inside them breaks.

One night they get wine drunk, Emily laying sidewise on their black couch, and Tara sitting on the table staring at the ceiling.

“I miss being young, god, that’s such a weird thing to say. I mean, I spent my youth hating it. Hated my mother, and all of our traveling, never could make friends. I hated that I never belonged, hated not being in control of my own life, and here I am 50 years old working for the government that I used to despise trying not to cry myself to sleep every night,” her voice takes on a bitter tone.

“We love in our old age the things we hated as children. Does that make us matured or foolish?”

“Both, I think.”

“What was your favorite place to live? I mean it sounds like hell to keep moving between places but there must have been someplace you loved, right,” Tara’s voice fills with a tang of desperation as she searches for a way to help her lover.

“Rome. The weather and the scenery,” her voice takes on a dreamy tone, “and the food! Man, the food is good, don’t tell Rossi but his carbonara tastes like Olive Garden compared to the real thing,” they both chuckled at that, knowing it would have sent Rossi in a fit if he were to hear that.

“That sounds really nice honey.”

“I miss it sometimes you know? I think about how gorgeous everything was. It feels like home in my distant memories.”

“Then let’s do it. Lets, go move to Rome. You aren’t happy here Emily, I know you say you are, but you do this job for our team, not the position now. I miss when you laughed,” both of them sobered up by now, knowing that it has taken a turn for the more serious.

“No, no we can’t. I, I can’t keep leaving this team and our friends. And, people need us. You love this job Tara I can’t take that away from you, not for me.”

“They’d understand Emily, they all love you so much. Yeah, I love this job, I won’t lie. But, I love you more, and I’m not happy if you aren’t. So let’s do it. Let’s fucking run away to Rome together and be happy .” The two sit in silence for a minute, the unanswered question still hanging in the air.

“Okay. Let’s do it. Maybe I’ll fulfill my long-lost dream to have a nice, big garden.”

The team took it surprisingly well, they’d all noticed a change in Emily in the months following Scratch and knew that Tara had Emily’s best interest at heart. Of course, they were sad to lose two of the best members of their team, but Emily was family, and family looks out for each other.

“I’m going to miss you my favorite dynamic duo and your guys’ jokes. Ugh, it’s going to be so quiet without you two lovely ladies,” her eyes are welling with unshed tears as she says goodbye to more of her family, “Send me things from Rome or I will install a virus in your phones,” they both laughed at Penelope’s antics and promised her that they’d send as much stuff as they could. The last two weeks of their stay in the United States were filled with mixed emotions. They were excited to start the next chapter of their lives together. Away from all the serial killers and monstrous people out there. They could finally live with a fraction of the naivety that most people carry. On the other hand, Tara only speaks minimal Italian, and now they’re going to be living in a brand-new country, surrounded by strangers. A fresh start, but one filled with anxiety.

“Okay 4:30 is way too early for a flight,” Emily grumbled as they made their way to the airport. The pair had woken up at three, knowing that Tara can’t sleep on planes they tried to go to bed early and were now making their way to the airport in the dead of morning.

“Wait, babe, look! It’s a full moon,” they pulled over just for a moment and got out of the car to sit on the hood. The silence between the two is peaceful, the wind was the only whisper in the air. Moonlight shone on Tara’s face and Emily knew that there was no sight in the world as beautiful as this. With the moon reflected in her eyes and a small simple ghosting on her lips. She’s home.

Security was a breeze, they are former FBI agents after all, and they made their way to their gate. Airports always have a certain air to them, a place where time seizes to exist yet completely runs the place. Their gate was quiet, filled with the tired murmuring of people excited to travel.

“Tara, honey, wake up we’re boarding.”

It was odd for the two of them to be flying commercial after all those years on private jets. It was nice to feel normal though, to fade in the background instead of being other . Human desire is both to be noticed and forgotten all at once.

Italy’s airport is very similar to the DC airport, it would seem like they never left. Outside was a whole different story, bustling crowds and hot air hits them as soon as they step outside the building. They had picked out a quaint apartment building a week prior. Yellow walls with a terrace looking out to an alley. The couple's belongings had been shipped and were waiting to be unpacked. Not right then though. Now, it was time to explore.

Hand in hand they walked leisurely down the narrow alley way of the small Italian town they are now calling their home. Vines and every other type of plant that could grow did. Hanging off banisters, and climbing up orange brick walls. The sunlight was close to blinding, and it hit Emily just right. The golden rays hitting her face and illuminating the ghost of the smile now appearing on Emily’s face. That smile told Tara all she needed to know about their decision. Emily catches her staring, “What are you looking at,” humor evident in her voice.

“You, I’m looking at you miss Emily Prentiss. You’re smiling again,” her words come out softer than she intended, but they convey her point.

Happy couples seem to fill the streets, old and new, young and old. The town may be old, but it was filled with a life that they had been lacking. They pass a quaint little bakery. Bread, cupcakes, and assorted pastries fill the windows. There're bookshelves on all the walls filled to the brim with different books. The walls are light blue and there are flowers everywhere. It looks like something from the movies.

“Un Piccolo Angolo di Paradiso,” Emily reads the name of the building in front of them, they’ve since stopped to admire the view in front of them. It reminds the two of them how Emily asked Tara out. With a cupcake and book who had ‘I know there’s plenty of sugar in that cupcake but it’d be even sweeter if you went out with me. Let me take you to dinner Tara? ’ written on the inside.

“As much as I love hearing you speak Italian, what does that mean? Something heaven?”

“Little Slice of Heaven.” It’s truly a perfect name for the place.

“Okay, now we have to go in,” they’re both smiling now. They push open the glass doors, greeted by the high-pitched ringing of a bell and the smell of freshly baked bread.

The woman at the counter finishes the greeting, “Benvenuti nel piccolo angolo di paradiso, cosa posso offrirvi, adorabili signore?” they blush at the compliment and Emily orders them both cupcakes and coffee. Tara busies herself with admiring the books. Some of them have the most beautiful covers she’s seen. She knows not to judge a book by its cover but sometimes the most beautiful things are just as gorgeous on the inside as out. Just like Emily. She buys a book, and they take their drink and desserts to go. They make their way to a waterfront and sit down on the stairs, side by side.

“Rome is just as beautiful as I remembered. I missed it. It really does feel like home, although, anywhere I’m with you is home,” at the end of her sentence, she turns to face Tara, a look of pure love shown clearly on her face. And for that, Tara just has to kiss her.

The next day they unpack their boxes of belongings into their apartment to help rid the homesickness. Paintings go up on the walls and furniture is placed with the best view in mind. After a couple of hours they’re done, their apartment a bit more homey than before. They crack open a bottle of wine, put on an album, and sit out on the terrace. They watch the sun set over the water, the sounds of big band music filter in as the soundtrack for their night. The sky painted yellow, orange, and pink in the way only nature can create. If nature were an artist they’d be in every museum and sold to the wealthy. Instead, they are for the masses, the beauty of nature is for all to enjoy, free of cost, for those who wish to escape and fly into the night sky.

“You know what I’ve always wanted to do?” Tara leans forward on the balcony, not taking her eyes off the view in front of her, even as the colors begin to fade the sky darkens.

“No, tell me, what?”

“I always wanted to open my own bakery. I know it’s stupid, me a baker. But, I don’t know making things, it feels so uncomplicated. Just me and the dough.”

“In this alternate universe, I’d be a gardener. You and your dough and me and my flowers against the world Tara. Wait a second. I think you and I are onto something my dear,” Emily’s joined Tara at the balcony, the two of them leaning against the railing.

“Actually? You’re serious? You want to do this.?”

“Yeah! Why not? We’ve got enough money in the bank for us to last a bit, you can work at Un Piccolo Angolo di Paradiso,” the Italian rolls of her tongue in a way that drives Tara nuts, “I’ll find a gardening place to work at. We’re in fucking Italy let’s make our dreams come true.”

“Okay. Let’s do it.”

Alessia, the owner of the bakery, is pleased to have another employee. Especially one that is actually interested and isn’t in high school. Tara learns the basics of bread and pastry making. She has some skill, she used to bake with her mother before she died, it had been awhile since she had been able to bake without bumming herself out. Now it’s a nice memory of her. Gone but not forgotten, as is the saying. Emily comes in every lunch break for whatever Tara’s whipped up and to get her caffeine fix. One of the things that she still keeps from her law enforcement days.

They aren’t perfect. A move across the country isn’t going to cure PTSD, she has good days, bad days, and worse days, but now they have the time to deal with it. There was never anytime to process things at the FBI. It was always, distract yourself and throw yourself into solving cases. Now they can slow dance in the kitchen and stay up until three am telling stories from college. They fill their days with the happiness that was once stolen from them and bathe in it like perfume.

True to their word, they send Penelope all sorts of things, books from the café, pressed flowers, trinkets from the small shops to adorn her desk. In return, she sends them pictures of Sergio.

“I miss Sergio, his little paws, and his ability to climb on top of anything.”

Emily finds a job at a nearby garden that sells flower arrangements and herbs to local restaurants. It’s convenient, more than they would have thought. Emily now gets to stop into the bakery on occasion to deliver herbs and has plenty of flowers to give her lover. She also sends a few bouquets back to DC. Hoping that the flowers can brighten up the office in a way that fluorescent lights never can.

On one of their late afternoon walks, they hear a rustling by a trash can.

“What’s that noise?”

“I don’t know, let’s go look, it almost sounds like an animal. Could be a mouse,” Emily suggests, absently reaching to where her gun used to rest on her hip. They open the bag to find three small kittens. Seemly abandoned in a corner.

“Oh god, they’re so cute. We have to keep them.” It’s not a question, Tara knows that Emily is thinking the same thing, their minds connected in the way people who love each other’s minds always are. They look up the nearest veterinarian to make sure that their new pets are okay to take home and healthy.

The vet is sterile and a stark reminder of all the hospitals they’ve spent time in. Tara squeezes her girlfriend’s hand to remind her that they are both safe .

“They look fairly health, a bit malnourished but that is to be expected in these circumstances,” the vet is an elderly man with a mustache as thick as his accent,

“I’ve give them the shots they need, for now, come back in few months and let me take another look. Ciao.”

The kittens are fast asleep by the time they make it home. They gently scoop the kittens out of the bag and into their arms and the couch.

“Okay, what are we naming these angels?” Emily’s voice is pitched up as she talks to the kitten in her arms.

“Well, I’ve always been a classics enthusiast, what if we name them Artemis and Apollo?”

“That’s adorable. Little tiny archery kitties, yes, isn’t that right!” she coos, “And I think I’ll name this one Carter.”

“I love it, and you. Come on, sit with me, you look tired,” Tara grabs Emily’s hand and pulls her onto the couch. They fall over a bit and Emily yelps in surprise. They put the old music back on, a sense of peaceful needs for their new lives. The two sit on the couch, Emily’s head in her girlfriend’s lap, a hand playing with her hair. Apollo climbs on Emily’s feet and lays down to rest.

“I love you, Tara,” she doesn’t respond, just lays a gentle kiss to the back of her head.

The world is big and scary but the two of them feel safe in each other's arms.

taglist- @royalpenelope @criminalmindsvibez @haleymalaffey @scandinavian-punk @abitcriminalminds @hellskitchensmurdock @criminalmindzz2 @rosesonmyheart @ssaemxlyprentxss @reidrights if you’d like to be added to my taglist, the survey is here

#dkakakska I forgot to tag this now it won’t show up 💔💔#temily #Tara lewis #emily prentiss #criminal Minds #criminal minds fanfiction #temily fic #lucy's creations #mine!

63 notes · View notes

masterweaverx · 3 years

Text

The Dumbest RWBY Oneshot Ever

Weiss Schnee was feeling, all things considered, pretty good.

Sure, she hadn’t slept in something like forty-eight hours. And, alright, the immortal witch-queen of the Grimm had parked a gods-damned WHALE as large as Beacon itself on Atlas. And even after Oscar blew it (and her) up with a magic cane, there was still the voluminous horde of shadow demons it had vomited up roving her home city while innocent citizens cowered in the subway. Not to mention the monster that had broken into her own home and terrorized everyone with its creepy speech before it died, leaving behind the mangled body of some poor silver-eyed faunus and traumatizing Ruby with the gruesome implications.

And then there Ironwood going insane, declaring them all enemies of the state, infecting Penny with a lethal virus, and threatening to blow up Mantle. If her sister was to be believed he’d also killed one council members and been barely prevented from murdering one of his own Ace Ops before they contained him. And, of course, there was the tiny fact that Weiss had herself condemned the city of Atlas to fall as a result of all that...

Realistically, she should have been weighed down with guilt, and exhaustion, and resentment, and probably a lot of other things. But what Weiss felt now was something like... relieved pride. Despite all odds, they’d saved Penny. They’d brought Ironwood to heel. They’d even killed Salem--temporarily, she was coming back, but still an accomplishment. And, as she strode down the golden path from the portal and watched people slowly trickle in from the other bright ovals in this... mysterious void, she knew that the citizens of Mantle and of Atlas would escape the calamity that had been wrought.

“Hope Vacuo has enough space for all these people,” Ruby murmured as she helped Penny along on her new feet.

Yang smirked. "If there’s one thing Vacuo has plenty of, it’s space. I’m more worried about dumping everyone on them without warning.”

“That is a tomorrow problem,” Weiss declared.

“Wow.” Blake gave her a wry grin. “I never thought I’d see the day where you, of all people, would procrastinate.”

Weiss whirled, pointing the staff of creation at Blake’s face. “Where was all this sass back at Beacon?”

“Locked behind the trauma of escaping an abusive relationship,” Blake replied casually.

“...Touché.” Weiss shrugged, stepping onto the main platform and waving at the milling crowd. “Excuse me! Can anybody tell me where the Happy Huntresses are? We need to touch base.”

“They’re over there!” a woman reported, pointing at the largest portal. “They’re helping organize everyone going through--getting families back together and all that.” She shook her head. “This is actually happening...”

Yang put a hand on her shoulder. “Yeah. World’s a crazy place. Just... focus on what you need to do now, okay?”

“Okay.” The woman nodded. “I’m going to... look for my husband.”

With a final pat, Yang broke away and the five teenagers maneuvered through the press of people. It didn’t take them too long to approach the three women near the final road, since the crowd was milling that way anyway, and the tall green-haired woman spotted them first. “Hey May, your interns are here!”

“Thanks Joanna!” The blue-haired woman waved the five of them over with a grin. “There’s the heroes of the hour!”

“Interns?” Yang put a hand on her hip. “Are we getting paid for this?”

“Sorry, no pay till you’re officially hired, but I’ll make sure you get an amazing benefits package.” May Marigold had a smile on her face despite her sardonic tone. “How are you kids feeling?”

“Well, Penny’s still getting used to her new body,” Weiss admitted.

“Toes are weird,” Penny reported in a distant tone.

Ruby wrapped her arm tighter around her shoulders. “That they are, Penny,” she agreed fondly.

“Yang and Blake are still insufferably dense,” Weiss continued.

“Okay, that’s unfair!” Yang insisted. “I know I’m dense, but Blake--”

“Yang, you’re not dense!” Blake protested. “You’re one of the smartest people I know!”

May whistled. “Yeowch, I see what you mean. How about you, princess?”

“Honestly, I’m feeling unusually giddy. Not just for this whole situation, but for me personally.”

“Yeah, that’s what happens when you’re awake for fifty hours straight,” Joanna admitted. “You’re going to zonk out as soon as you hit a bed.”

“I expect as much.”

May shook her head. “Well, you kids have exceeded all expectations,” she assured them with pride.

“Not an uncommon occurrence for us,” Weiss replied.

“Smug little brats. So...” she nodded at the golden rod in her hand. “That it?”

“Indeed it is. The Staff of Creation, in compact form.” Weiss spun the object in her hand. “And it’s surprisingly less heavy this way. Chalk it up to magic, I guess.”

“Right.” May turned to the side. “Hey, Fiona! Got a sec?”

“One moment!” came the reply from a short woman. "You said you can’t find your dad?”

The child in front of her nodded hesitantly. “They tooks him up to Atlas when they was taking people up,” he said.

“Well a lot of those other portals come from Atlas,” the woman replied. “So it’s probably only going to be a few minutes, okay?”

“Okay...”

“My uncle here can look after you until then.”

The child looked up at the old man with badger paws, who gave him a gentle smile. “Okay,” he said, carefully settling himself in front of the man.

Fiona smiled, turning around and joining the rest of the group. “Okay, what’s--Kids!” She skipped over gleefully. “You did it--you have no idea how grateful everyone is!”

“Aha, well, it... it was nothing,” Ruby replied awkwardly. “We just did the best with what we had--”

Joanna clapped a hand on her shoulder. “You had nothing but each other and were up against two whole armies,” she pointed out bluntly. “One had magic and Grimm, the other was Atlas. And you somehow saved everyone. Accept the damn praise already.”

Ruby opened her mouth to protest, gave a look at Penny, and reluctantly let out a small laugh. “I... guess you have a point...”

May cleared her throat. “Anyway. We have an ancient magical artifact that needs to stay out of the wrong hands.” She tilted her head toward the Staff of Creation. “Fiona, if you would?”

“Oh! Right, right.” Fiona accepted the golden rod from Weiss, absorbing it with her semblance.

“Well,” Weiss said. “Glad that’s settled--”

“Whoa.”

Something about the word made the hairs on Weiss’s neck raise.

“What... wow.” Fiona seemed to sway a little, raising her arms. “This is incredible. I have tiny hands.”

“...Fi?” May gave her a concerned look. “You doing okay there?”

Fiona looked down. She raise a leg with an experimental expression, waving it around, before putting it back down. “Huh. I’ve never felt so attached to the ground before...”

“That’s... gravity,” Joanna said blankly. “It’s called gravity.”

“Huh. Really?”

Weiss frowned. “Fiona?” When the woman didn’t respond, she shared an awkward look with May. “Um.”

Blake sighed, kneeling down in front of the short woman. “Fiona, can you focus?”

The woman looked at her strangely. “...who’s Fiona?”

“Oooooooookay yeah, this--this is weird,” May said quickly. “Maybe we shouldn’t have given her the staff--”

“The staff?” Fiona looked up her. “Wait, do you mean my staff?”

“Your... Ambrosus?” Yang stared in utter disbelief. “Is that you?!”

“Well, of course!” Fiona put her hands on her hips. “Who else would I be?”

May looked around at the collection of sighs and groans team RWBY produced. “Okay, somebody want to clue me in to what the hell is going on?”

Weiss sighed. “Ambrosus is the spirit in the staff,” she explained wearily. “So I guess when Fiona used her semblance to absorb the staff, he came along with it and...” She waved a hand at the woman.

“Wait.” Fiona, possibly, held up a hand. “Absorb the staff?”

“Fiona’s semblance lets her store things,” Joanna explained. “We thought she’d keep it safe... we’ve never tried it with anything magical before.”

May took a deep, controlled breath. “Alright. Okay. So... can we fix this? Get Fiona back?”

Blake shrugged as she stood back up. “I think if we get the staff out of her

“Alright. Hey, Fi--Ambrosus.” May crossed her arms. “Can you get out of there?”

“Hmmm.” Ambrosus snapped Fiona’s fingers--or at least tried to. It took three attempts to make a successful snap. “Huh. Okay, there might be a problem, and that problem is I don’t have my powers in this body.”

“You don’t need to create the staff,” Penny pointed out. “You need to remove it from Fiona.”

“You did hear me just say I don’t have my powers, right?”

“Then use Fiona’s semblance.”

“...Doy!” Ambrosus brought Fiona’s hand to her head in a facepalm. “Ow! Huh.” The motion was repeated. “Is this what pain feels like?”

Penny nodded--and then frowned. “Hmm.” She brought her own hand to her head. “Ouch! Oh. Pain does feel different in this body.”

“Maybe we can test that out later in a more controlled environment,” Ruby said quickly, grabbing Penny’s wrist.

“Yeah,” May agreed, frowning as Ambrosus experimentally pinched Fiona’s skin. “Hey!”

“Hmm?”

“Out!”

“Right.” Fiona’s ear’s drooped... and then Ambrosus blinked. “Oh! Motile ears! Fancy!”

Blake sighed as the ears went up and down. “Focus...”

“Right, yes.” Ambrosus held out Fiona’s arms, staring at her hands in concentration. “Semblance. Semblance. Seeeem-blance. Hmmmmnnnnn. Aura, personal manifestation. Semblance. Okay. Any moment now. Definitely going to happen okay I don’t know what I’m doing wrong but nothing’s happening.”

May clutched at her hair. “What kind of ancient spirit are you?!”

“This is new for me too, alright?”

“Maybe you can’t use Fiona’s semblance because you aren’t Fiona,” Joanna suggested.

“That--huh.” Ambrosus nodded. “You know what, that just might be it.”

“Well... switch over and let her have control,” Yang offered. “Like Oz does, you know?”

“Huh. Okay, okay.” Fiona’s eyes shut, and Ambrosus took a deep breath. “Just have to focus inward. Hmmm. No, those seem to be automatic functions... no, that’s... oh, that’s an interesting memory... oh, hmm, closer... Oh! There she is and--oh.”

“Oh?” May said. “What’s oh?”

“Oh is ‘she’s been cognizant this whole time,” Ambrosus replied awkwardly.

Weiss pinched her brow. “Of course. Just... give her control, already.”

“Right, right, yes. I am so sorry for the trouble, miss, I’ll just--”

One moment Fiona was casually rolling a hand as Ambrosus talked. The next she was stock still, standing in a position far to casual for her suddenly blank expression.

“...Fi?” May lowered her hands. “You, uh--?”

With perhaps a bit too much speed, the staff of creation reformed in Fiona’s hand. She shoved it into May’s grasp, taking a few deep breaths. “Oooookay, that was weird.” Her voice was shaky, but not quite panicking. “Freaky and weird and please never ask me to do anything like that again.”

“I am so sorry,” Ruby said quickly. “I--I swear we didn’t know--”

“I know you didn’t, you’re good kids, I’m just going to... cling to Joanna for a bit.”

May sighed as she watched Fiona wrap her arms around Joanna’s waist. “Yeah, that... yeah,” she said, clearly not able to find the words to express her frustration.

“You said it,” Yang replied.

Blake sighed. “Well... at least that’s one unexpected complication dealt with. I hope nothing worse happens.”

"Citizens of Mantle!

Everyone turned to see Cinder Fall flamboyantly flinging off a black cape into the void.

“Bring me the Winter Maiden,” she demanded. “Or face the infinite depths!”

Weiss groaned. “Of course.” She pulled out Myrtenaster. “Let’s just get this over with...”

#The Dumbest RWBY Onshot Ever #RWBY #V8 #Spoilers #V8 Spoilers #Fanfiction #Fiona Thyme #Ambrosus #May Marigold #Joanna Greenleaf #Ruby Rose #Weiss Schnee #Penny Polendina #Blake Belladonna #Yang Xiao Long

22 notes · View notes

beauenfer · 4 years

Text

𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒌𝒂𝒊 𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒅𝒆𝒔;

one ━━ ★ ⌒*･ﾟ𝐤𝐚𝐢 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫

♡. 𝒇𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒐𝒎; The Vampire Diaries

♡. 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈; Kai Parker x fem!Reader

♡. 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈; language, barely sexual themes

˚ . ⊹ ₊ ˚ . ✦　˚ . ˚ ✦ . ˚ ₊ enjoy ˚ . ⊹ ₊ ˚ . ✦　˚ . ˚ ✦ . ˚ ₊

✦. to start off, he’s always trying to fuck you. like this boy can’t stop touching you

✦. you can be screaming in his face and throwing things and he’d still get hard

✦. hes kind of obsessed with you at the beginning of the relationship, never having had something like it and wanting to make sure it was genuine, and not really able to go a day without seeing you

✦. he would follow you everywhere you went, and threatened any guy that talked to you. most of the time he just killed them

✦. emotions were a fickle thing for this boi. he was possessive, easily jealous, and didn’t know why his heart seemed to beat faster when he saw your smile, or heard your laugh

✦. he was purposefully ignoring serious topics when you first started dating, covering up his trauma with jokes and smiles. it took him a long time to open you to you, tbh

✦. but when he finally did after almost a year of being together, you held him for the whole night. you kissed his forehead and reassured him that you’d never leave

✦. he’s very protective of you, especially when Joshua is around

✦. one time, Joshua threatened to kill you because someone like Kai didn’t deserve happiness. shit hit the fan then

✦. he doesn’t really do romantic things like give you flowers or write you letters or take you out to fancy dinners because tbh he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing

✦. he’s not sure what to do when you cry, so he kinda awkwardly pats your back but mentally saying he’s going to slaughter whoever did this to you

✦. Kai likes to make you breakfast in bed though. imagine a shirtless Kai serving you eggs and bacon. ♥️ yup. he does that

✦. you have to give him very obvious hints on what you like and what you like to do for fun

✦. he fucks up a lot, but you always forgive him. like I said, the guys new to relationships

✦. he stares at you all the time, thinking he definitely doesn’t deserve someone as beautiful or compassionate as you, that maybe Joshua was right

✦. he was pretty insecure at the beginning of the relationship

✦. a part of him believes he’s a monster

✦. you always denied that bullshit, saying that Kai deserves the world and more and that what happened to him as a child wasn’t fair because he was just a child and didn’t ask to be born that way

✦. he always sends you risqué text messages, but also accidentally sends them to other people because he can’t figure out his phone

✦. speaking of phones, ever since you helped him navigate the confusing world of technology Kai always texts you, for anything and everything

✦. he’ll text you from the other room, if he’s right next to you, basically no matter where he is he’ll shoot you a message

✦. “you look pretty hot.”

✦. “I’m sitting right next to you Kai. You can just tell me... but thank you 😏.”

✦. you guys love to take naps during thunderstorms, cuddled under the blanket (of course Kai was trying to cop a feel)

✦. you always get on his case for never cleaning up after himself. being in the prison world, he was used to throwing stuff around and making a mess

✦. he likes to show you off, especially around Damon and Elena

✦. you always back him up during arguments with the gang, defending him whenever they always seem to bring up the fact that he killed his family

✦. “okay and? Stefan, you killed your own father. Damon, you killed Zachs pregnant wife, and Jeremy. and you guys had no excuse. he did!”

✦. he has nightmares sometimes of his life before you, of which you always coddle him after, reminding him he’s safe now

✦. sometimes he has episodes where he is very distant, then goes off on some killing spree because that sociopathic part of him can’t seem to let go

✦. tbh, you become a little fearful during those times, but ultimately know Kai would never hurt you

✦. even though he really didn’t want to, he would ask Damon for relationship advice, to which he would be made fun of

✦. I imagine him to be clingy, whining and pouting whenever you had to leave and trying to give you reasons to stay

✦. “oh come on, you’re seriously turning down an opportunity to have sex with me because you have to go help the Barbie with some dance? your loss.”

✦. tbh, Kai’s always making you laugh, and sticking up for you, and killing anyone and everyone he thinks is a threat to you

✦. “Kai, you can’t just keep killing everyone you think is going to hurt me!”

✦. “Well excuse me for looking out for my girlfriend!”

✦. he likes to cook, and his food is always delicious, and he always ends up serving a whole four course meal

✦. bitch he’s a meal

✦. and sometimes, he just skips straight to the dessert ; )

✦. he’s very very protective and always wants to know where you are because he has a lot of enemies, especially Joshua

✦. he squeezes your cheeks a lot

✦. you laughing at his jokes all the time and gassin him up

✦. Kai’s a night person, so he likes to wake you up to go explore or fuck around at like 2:00 in the morning

✦. he makes himself invisible to go spy on you if he doesn’t trust who you’re with

✦. as weird as it may seem, he try’s to plan your outfits for you if you’re going out together but they end up being very short and see through and kinda slutty

✦. and you’re just like...mmmm

✦. everyone’s always trying to kill Kai, until he became coven leader and started killing them

✦. he’s very cocky about his power and arrogant, because he knows he can’t be defeated

✦. Kai try’s to teach you to cook, and sometimes you get it and sometimes you just set fire to the kitchen

✦. but during those times you swear it’s because Kai’s behind you and tracing your hips with his fingertips as you try and spin the pot of boiling noodles

✦. Liv has tried to convince you to break up with him multiple times, to which you tell her to fuck off

✦. Kai smiles at the thought of you

✦. he kills for you

✦. protects you

✦. and doesn’t know how to express himself

✦. but you understand Kai is unfamiliar with all these emotions, so you help him through it. especially his newfound guilt

✦. OOOOOHHHHhhhhhhh I want Kai

✦. he tries not to kill people all willy nilly because you’ve expressed how unnecessary it is

✦. but he always finds a loophole

✦. “with the way he was looking at you he was basically begging me to kill him.”

✦. you take lots of photos of him, especially during the moment where he’s smiling and laughing and lookin scrumptious

✦. he steals your clothes

✦. in the end, you guys are two peas in a pod and kai is irrevocably in love with his lil human

#kai parker imagine #kai parker #kai parker headcannon #dating kai includes #tvd #kai parker x reader

374 notes · View notes

rosenmarille · 4 years

Note

so whats the context on One Day

whats it called when you have headcanons and make content that isnt exactly an au because it doesnt technically contradict anything from canon? that. this is after part 5 and way before part 6, so essentially, it might as well be canon you know

so basically. after part 5 ends, polnareff and giorno exchange notes and figure out the whole dio thing, which gets giorno in contact with the swf and the Greater Joestar Family Tree, which is a daunting concept for him. trish picks up on it and they have several discussions about the nature of having evil super powered dads you didnt know your entire life and whats it like having to live with that legacy. (because while giorno hasnt met dio, the way polnareff talks about him, and the way jotaro sounded on the phone the one and only time they talked so far, hes not really sure what to feel about it).

they bond, and after spending some time together and finding some common interests, they decide “hey, what if we dated?” (they are 15. they have common trauma. they have feelings for each other that they cant put into words. what could go wrong. yeah.) --> skip about a month ahead and they both know this isnt working. trish eventually breaks it up, because giorno is too emotionally distant and cant express his feelings any further than small talk, which she says isnt a problem, but its not what she wants out of a relationship. giorno is fine with it. they stay friends....

....which turns out to be a big improvement on their relationship, and takes away much of the pressure of expectation. they spend more time together, and actually have a good time with it. during this time, the joestars have invited giorno to a family get together, the first time any of them would meet him. he accepts, mostly because he wants to keep a friendly relationship to jotaro and the swf, but also because he loathes to consider anyone thinking him a coward for turning it down. but, because he IS the only “new guy”, hes welcome to bring a +1 if he wants, and trish is the first to offer to go with him. (because she knows how uneasy he is about this, and because she relates to weird feelings re: evil dads and their legacies)

the family meetup is in japan, at hollys place, and attending are: joseph (very old), holly (excited to meet a new joestar), jotaro (suspicious, purposefully didnt bring jolyne bc he does not trust like that), josuke (not thrilled about a whole weekend with his dad, but interested in a new jojo). because jotaro is paranoid, suzie q also wont be there, since she doesnt have a stand and couldnt protect herself. (holly has a stand. i honestly forgot what we called it.) giorno and trish are also there.

the weekend comes! day one is about as awkward as youd expect. trish and giornos english is Passable, josukes is terrible, giornos japanese is rusty, only joseph and holly speak italian, its a bit of a mess. i think we said josuke bribed rohan into giving him italian skills? he and holly kind of save the mood, and the two actually have someone their ages to talk to. josuke is just great in general, i love my boy. anyway, jotaro (also traumatized), is not pulling his weight in making giorno feel welcome, and giorno responds with equal coldness. frosty atmosphere were having this summer, haha, joseph says to lighten the mood, which drops further.

later that night, trish and giorno are up and talking about the Day they just had, and after some silent stewing, giorno remembers what trish had said about expressing his feelings, and he actually ends up ranting a little about how unfair jotaro is to him, he didnt even know dio, evil isnt inherited? how about he minds his own business and comes back when he can judge giorno on his personal failings rather than the ones from someone who died over 10 years ago. trish gives him enthusiastic thumbs ups of encouragement.

of course, jotaro walks right past this, and while he doesnt Speak italian, he knows a few basic things, and can tell giorno is upset. he finds holly in the kitchen, and asks her to translate some words he didnt understand, and hollys like “okay spying on my guests, i see?”, but she gets the general gist of it, and gives joot some advice on letting others feel the brunt of his bad experiences, which he maybe probably will take to heart. the next day, he not-apologizes to giorno, and the rest of the weekend passes rather well.

oh fuck i totally veered off course. anyway, that, plus an additional time where giorno helped trish deal with loss of her mum with some thoughtful and tangible help (involving a visit to her grave, and also pooling resources to recover some of the pictures that la squadra stole/destroyed in their ransacking of the una household), plus like. Time. to let anything develop, have the two reconsider their relationship, and they end up giving it another shot. without the pressure of performative bs, they settle for a p platonic qpr, and theyre both happy with it :)

also fugo is there, thats another post, hashtag fugiotrishagenda

@strawberrygiorno and i have an entire separate timeline from part 1 onwards that kinda rocks, including a whole part 3.5 for holly, and this is a relatively small but v important part of it

#pari talks #giotrish #jjba #THANK U for indulging me #this turned out. kind of long.#i just think theyre neat #tbh both jace and i only rly like. realized the potential of giotrish after another totally different au where they were close.#and then we were like 'hey hold ON'#its good theyre good #secret: this is an au after all because no one is dead. avdol also is alive and hanging out with jolyne for this one.#caesar? dont even worry about it. kakyoin is also there obviously #au tag

36 notes · View notes

watchinglikeafangirl · 3 years

Text

This is going to be a very unusual post but I currently found myself in situations surrounding that topic and it's something I think shouldn't stay hidden or a secret. I like open debates about it, inform people who really want to know and don't rant about weird questions because they can't know.

Warning: this post will be about cancer and since this is a very sensitive topic and if you don't find yourself in the right mind of dealing with this, you can skip.

It's not that this post will be extremely sad or upsetting but maybe someone lost a loved one recently to this illness and it might remind them of dark times.

Let me just start here. I call myself Nila or Schneemilee when I'm on the internet and I'm not saying my true name here either. I'm 18 years old now and I survived cancer at a very young age. 15 months to be precise, so I don't remember anything about that time. My brain just shuts these memories out and I have no access to them. To be honest, I don't want to know. Everyone keeps telling me I'm better off with not knowing and I chose to believe them. It's probably really for the best.

I had leukaemia and I don't know the english medical term for the version I had, so I'll stick to the overall term. If you wonder if I'm fine, I can ensure you I am. Physically and mentally. I don't have a hard time talking about it. It doesn't make me sad or fragile. It's not a weight on my shoulders. Probably because it still doesn't quite feel like I'm talking about myself. I only know everything about the whole process because my parents told me, so I have a very distant perspective on my past because I don't know how it felt for me, how it felt inside me.

I went to the doctor this year and he told my mother only 500 kids get sick with leukaemia each year in Germany, so I just had really bad luck. We went home and told my dad and that was one of the few moments I realized how heavy that time must have felt because he was very mad at the world, saying stuff like "two years of our lives taken away just because of bad luck". He couldn't believe it. He was the one who went to the hospital with me everyday to watch these weird-colored and toxic medications flow into me and weaken me further and further. I lost the ability to walk for a long time. I got it back eventually and sometimes, I still feel something's not right when I walk, but only in few situations.

Do you know the test doctors sometimes do when they hit your knee with a hammer made of rubber? Your leg usually flies up - yeah, mine doesn't at all. I don't have reflexes in my knees and I only feel the difference to others when I walk in sand or on snow. Then I'm very slow and unstable and just want to leave the scenery.

But yeah, since I survived cancer so early in my life, I'm kind of sure nothing bad will come for me for a while now. I never had bad luck afterwards but it will probably happen when I don't expect it. It's like destiny knows it was already enough damage and suffering.

Cancer is sadly not a rare sickness in my family. I lost both grandmas to it and my grandpa and grand-grandpa have it. Yeah, my family has tough times. But I'm not afraid of cancer. Yes, it is a terrifying sickness and a horribly long process of healing but since I survived, I don't see it as an ending. For many people, cancer has much to do with death and they have every reason to. Many people die of cancer. But since I recovered just fine, I don't see death in the diagnosis. It's just my own experience.

And it's not like I don't take cancer seriously but since I can't remember it and didn't understand it as well (I was one year old after all), I have a distance towards my past. I only realize what a hardship it was when I tell people for the first time or go to a new doctor and they look at me in shock and say something like "welcome back to life" or "I'm sorry". Only then it hits me, the weight of it all. But it's gone the next moment. I don't let my past touch me. Where would that take me? It wouldn't bring me good.

It was enough of a trauma that I can't stand the smell of desinfection at all. The only smell that gives me the creeps without me knowing why. Probably something my brain remembers. But I really can't stand it and when my friends use some desinfection next to me, I get up and go a few steps away. I don't know. It doesn't make me want to throw up but it feels like dark memories awakening and I get scared immediatly.

I think it is important to talk about cancer not in a sad way because cancer doesn't mean the end of life. I'm not saying it's not a dark time. But you can recover, leave it behind and live again. I live with this knowledge that I could get a heart disease at the age of 40, that I have a higher risk of getting too-high blood pressure and that I could be infertile sooner than normal. But that's okay because I get to live. See the hope. I want you to see there's always hope.

#storytime #cancer #true story #my life #have hope #always #it's not the end #i survived #but i wouldn't call myself a survivoe

2 notes · View notes

mavspeed · 3 years

Text

First Line Meme

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line, then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

Hey @applesfallingfromblondehair, thanks for the tag love!! likewise i dont usually do this but this feels interesting so lets see if my ass has improved over the last few stories lmfkjgjk

also this will prob be a mix of xmcu fic + kingsman fic bc i think i have a more or less equal number of fics written for both

The first time Charles meets Lucifer Morningstar, actual devil from hell, ruler of the underworld, fallen son of the lord above and god knows what else, it had been after Erik had been sentenced to life imprisonment in the highest security cell in the Pentagon.

- this is from a professor and a devil walk into a bar, which is kinda a crossover rarepair fic that rose out of me and mutuals on twitter discussing tom ellis and james mcavoy being roommates and kinda... devolved from there. i am proud of this one lmfnjgkj

“Are you okay, Professor?” Hank asks quietly.

Charles blinks. He supposes it’s a valid question. He’s been in a bit of a funk the past few days- scratch that actually, the past few years. He’s just lost so much- his father, and then his mother’s love, and then Raven and Erik and Sean and countless others. Building a school, gaining students he loved to teach and nurture hadn’t helped him in the slightest, and he’s as lost as he ever was, wandering the halls of a drafty mansion alone, feeling like he’s been stranded at sea even whilst surrounded by people.

- from in the belly of the beast, which again came out of me wondering what would have happened if fox had gone w their original plan and charles had been that last horseman instead of erik. this story will prob gain a sequel... sometime in the near future when im not too bogged down by current wips

The Xavier family hall of the deceased- because of course they’re weird enough to have a cemetery- is full of rows upon rows of holograms. Charles is four and gets bored of his father crying over his mother’s hologram, so he toddles over to the other rows. Unfamiliar names, all of them- Charles is young, and he doesn’t understand death. He doesn’t even know who his mother is, who’d died at childbirth and left him with a father still at a loss when it came to bringing up a kid.

- from tequila on a spaceship, the sequel to a fic that still has some people angry at me i think. this fic never did gain as much traction as the first one but im still proud of it esp since it discusses certain themes of reincarnation that ive always wanted to see explored for myself in reincarnation aus (and i only ever saw it in danveresque’s reincarnation au)

There are cork boards covering every inch of the wall. Red strings, photographs, conspiracy threads, everything. Raven takes it in, swallowing, noticing the picture in the middle.

It’s one of Charles, when he’d been in university. His final year- he'd just been done presenting his year- end project, his fringe a tumbled mess and a bright smile on his lips. Erik had taken the picture, Charles scurrying to his side once he’d been done and demanding to look at the image, his tongue poking out the corner of his mouth. He looks like how Raven had always imagined him to be.

“He wouldn’t want this,” she finally says, turning to look at Erik.

- from tequila on a beach, the first fic to the fic above. this fic is v special to me because i actually wrote this on a spiral after having a very tough visit with one of my parents in the hospital after a surgery for organ removal to prevent the onset of cancer. its simpler than my other fics yet i think more powerful because of what happens. also i think the first time i killed charles off lol (spoiler alert). also idk if ppl were aware of this but this is called tequila on a beach precisely bc charles and erik were tipsy from tequila at a frat party and then went to a beach. its the way they first met (and will continue to meet for all their next lives)

Erik doesn’t know how it all started. Maybe it was when his insane sergeant had started rambling about imaginary cities, treasures of gold and cursed incantations. Maybe it was when trickles of rumours had started pouring down about the higher ups wanting to investigate unfound territory, disregard the Egyptian government’s feelings on the matter, and put a previously unfound myth on the map for all the world to see. Or maybe, Erik thinks, it was when archaeologist Klaus Schmidt put a bullet through his mother’s head and he ended up going to America armed with dual citizenship and the sole intent of wanting to drive a coin directly between Schmidt’s eyes, joining a division of the American military focused solely on guarding archaeological digs- more importantly, in Egypt, where Schmidt’s interest had shifted.

- from courting the end of the world, another one i’m just insanely proud of! this is the first time i’ve ever attempted a multichapter movie au and it actually managed to work pretty well, i at least haven’t run out of inspiration for it yet lmfjgjg. also erik as himbo rick connell... very rent free in my head

The day after they murder Shaw and leave his house of horrors, Erik crosses the Canadian border with Charles across his back. Charles had started getting tired while they’d been walking, stumbling and nearly tripping until Erik had forced him to get on his back, ignoring Charles’ protests.

The blood’s seeping out steadily from Charles’ nose, staining his shirt and soaking it through. It’s been leaking on and off, and the effects are already obvious in the dark circles beneath Charles’ eyes. Any more, and Erik knows they’ll have to find him a doctor. He hopes the nearest town in Canada has one that would be willing to treat them.

- from a world built for two. i actually dk where the inspiration for this came from, i think i was once again on a depressive spiral and wanted to break my comfort characters into pieces and put them together again. this also deals with codependency and unhealthy coping mechanisms as a result of trauma which i showed as sweet in the fic but i would def not recommend in real life. pls if u relate to either charles or erik in this go see a therapist

The call comes in the afternoon, an hour before Charles is supposed to teach his Intro to Genetics class. Frowning, Charles abandons the game of Candy Crush he’d admittedly been playing rather badly and picks it up. “Charles sp-”

“We need you, Prof,” Kitty says desperately into the phone. “He’s been in a temper all morning, and then Alex’s reports missed out a whole subsection, so he’s fired the entire marketing team! Please, Professor, you have to come immediately!”

- from and we can be pirates. i wrote this in like 4 seconds for my friend who wanted professor charles and ceo erik and actually did not expect this to gain the attention it did... its always the fics u write in like 4 seconds lmfjggj. a sequel for this Is coming too probably at some point in the very far future

Charles Xavier can admit as he sits across from Essex, hands cuffed to the desk, that in hindsight, this had perhaps not been one of his better ideas.

He refuses to admit it as he controls Erik’s mind, preventing him from lashing out and making him close his eyes to the nightmare unfolding in front of him. He refuses to admit it as he gets shoved into the back of a black pickup truck, and the butt of a gun is smashed across his forehead hard enough to knock him out cold for a few hours. He refuses to admit it when he wakes up what appears to be hours later in a cold interrogation room, hands cuffed to the table in front of him, with a suppression collar rendering his mind dark and almost achingly silent.

- from from the land of gods (bring me home). i’ve been struggling w this fic a lot (it didnt come as easily to me as the first one did) but its getting there. also i put charles through hell in this rip sorry mister xavier

In the aftermath, both of them stand at the border of the mansion. The air feels frigid, slicing into Raven’s lungs like a thousand paper cuts. “Charles, please,” she begs, heart in her throat and voice hoarse. “He wouldn’t want you to be like this. He wouldn’t want you to do this. It’s not too late, you can come back.”

Charles gazes back, a brick wall. He hasn’t even cleaned up, still in that damnable yellow and blue suit with blood drying in the corners of his mouth, the bridge of his nose. There’s nothing in his eyes- blank, almost see through. He looks as if he’s a mere shade, a ghost lounging about where he once was. Raven knows better.

“I will raze the world to the ground,” he finally says, his voice free of any inflection, “and when I’m done, no one will be left standing. Not you, and certainly not me.”

- from where all the poets went to die, a dark fic based on what would have happened if moira had killed erik with the bullets. its the first time ive written dark charles and it was v fun if im being honest

10.

Charles is a light sleeper. It’s a trait that stays with him- all the way from his father and the tests to taking care of his mother to Cain Marko and his fists to Cuba and then now, the dust of Washington settling over him and making the waking world lie an inch beyond his eyelids. It therefore stands to reason that the second the windowsill creaks he’s up in a shot, hoisting himself up and lashing out with his telepathy instantly.

That’s not a trait that had stayed with him. That’s a newly formed trait, bitter and bold, carved into existence by Cuba by his students disappearing one by one in Vietnam by the letters that announce Sean’s death in black unfriendly print by-

The tendrils of his telepathy forged cold and distant meet a barrier and recoil, stunned. He focuses his eyes and then widens them, staring at Erik who stares back, hidden beneath that infernal muddied magenta helmet of his. They stare at each other for a moment before Erik clears his throat.

- from in the valley of kings (you will come home). my first ever cherik fic! im actually also proud of this one even if i ended it horribly and half my mutuals refuse to read it bc of how it ended LMFJGJGJ. i cant believe this was supposed to be a funny and cute kid fic and then i turned it into an angst ridden mess. also leo is actually an oc whose adult version is fancasted as charlie rowe by me and another mutual on twitter and im v proud that readers are willing to die for the baby

11.

Mike has to google it, finding a crafts shop nestled into the corner of the street right smack in the middle of Louisiana, past a long and winding dirt road and the crumbling farmhouses relics of a time long past. The air is hot, humid, sticking to the back of his neck like an unwieldy parasite as he pushes the door of the shop open to the sound of the bell tinkling above.

He finds the origami paper quickly enough and has a momentary breakdown about what Bill’s favourite colour even is- he had never thought to ask him. Twenty seven years of following every single footstep of his like a dedicated, most definitely creepy stalker, three months of more than a few states traversed with Bill’s laughter now echoing in his ears like a shadow that trails after him, and this is what stumps him. It takes ten minutes, but he finally settles on light green.

- my first and last entry into the IT fandom bc i love these two but to be very fair there isn’t much content out there for him (and twitter content actually intimidates me lmfjgjjg) a thousand paper cranes never got much traction either but i suspect its bc i was horrible at promoting it. also i very much love this fic even if it never did that well bc ive always wanted to write a fic like this after watching the movie in cinemas in 2019

12.

ok nsfw i guess

Mornings start like this- Eggsy snuffling into David’s neck, attempting to work his way back up to wakefulness as David sleeps the sleep of the dead, the streams of morning sunlight gradually lightening up the room. It’s a while before he gets the energy to sit up, pushing an eager V off the bed- V for Vendetta, a kitten named after one of David’s favourite movies that they’d adopted about a month after moving in together- before stumbling to the loo. He’s already in the shower when David comes in, naked as the day he’s born with his arms entwining themselves around Eggsy’s waist as he murmurs a sleep-soft, “Good morning, love,” as he presses a kiss into the two-days-old hickey on Eggsy’s shoulder. His breath smells of toothpaste, the minty fresh kind he insists on buying from Target no matter how much Eggsy insists that the other brand is much better. Without fail, Eggsy always has a split second thought of thinking that he must truly be in heaven because no way can this be his reality, every single day, before sinking to his knees and allowing David’s cock to hit the back of his throat.

- from that’s the kind of love i’ve been dreaming of. i genuinely wish i had an opinion for this but i don’t remember writing this its been way too long

13.

The first time Eggsy sees her is in Trafalgar Square.

Trafalgar Square is uncomfortably packed on any normal day, but on New Year’s it is quite the hothouse. Sweating armpits and hot bodies plastered against each other, the twinkling lights overhead providing a flash of blue and green and yellow and red, screaming children and giggling teenagers shoving their way through- it’s a recipe for disaster. Eggsy doesn’t know how he ends up there. It happens sometimes- one second he blinks, sequestered in the comfort of his living room, and the next he’s somewhere else, as if he’s been teleported. “Life goes past you,” Tilde had said once, “and you don’t even notice.” Tilde would be right.

- this is a roxy and eggsy friendship centric fic that i abandoned bc i lost my ardor for this world about the same time i got into xmen lmfjgjg. all the king’s horses also had some great fancasts in it with dev patel fancasted too... rip ig

14.

once again, nsfw

Eggsy, truth be told, doesn’t actually like having sex in bathrooms. First of all, bathrooms generally have an unsanitary air about them. Besides that, the granite of the sinks always feel cold against his hips, there is the ever present fear of being walked in on and unlike what people might say, he actually really isn’t that much of an exhibitionist- and truth be told, he’s never liked the look of himself in the mirror mid coitus.

For David Budd, however, he suspects he might be up for anything.

- from do you ever dream of me. im actually proud of this fic and this series, i never usually write straight up porn or friends w benefits and i think it worked well in here. once again didnt get much traction but that was very of the norm for my kingsman fics lmfjgj

15.

It is on his fifth meeting with the therapist on site that she brings the issue up. The elephant in the room- or the bomb , David thinks morbidly. If asked, he can’t remember specifics about that day now. All he remembers is this- the burn of Julia’s picture in his wallet against his thigh, the Botticelli painting on the far wall and Miss Paulson’s face, severe and unsmiling.

“When you couldn’t reach Julia,” she says, after he finishes describing the feeling of running to Julia, the panic searing his chest as he’d prayed for his legs to work faster so he could do something, anything to reach her hand. “How did that make you feel?”

- from your haunted social scene. i genuinely... do not remember anything about this either helpfkjgjg,,, this has 55 comments tho which. Nice

16.

David brings her home on- in a move far too cliche for it to be reality- a stormy night. It’s in fact storming so hard the windowpanes shudder like leaves in the wind, droplets crashing against the glass in a cacophony so loud Eggsy more than once considers turning the radio all the way up to drown it out. He’d gone scrounging for David’s sweatshirts instead of his own halfway through, wincing intermittently at the flashes of thunder. At a particularly loud one JB had jumped up, squeaked in a very undoglike manner and skidded across the floor to cower beneath the sofa, only coming out when coaxed by Eggsy to do so. Officer Oatmeal had watched the proceedings from her regal place by the armchair, dozy eyed and blinking heavily.

- from a cat named lavender. from what i remember this was also my first try at bringing up trans eggsy

17.

He first appears at the black prince on a cold Monday evening, eyes like Frank Sinatra and lips arresting anyone’s gaze if they weren’t careful enough. He stood out too, clad in a respectable bomber jacket and boots that clicked against the tile rhythmically and loudly, a sort of organised, measured cacophony.

“Go and serve him,” Andrew said, fat and disinterested, seated behind the counter and idly flicking through bills, less than ten percent of which he pays Eggsy. “I’m busy.”

- from trust is left in lovers after all. i never continued this which is sad bc this did get a lot of attention... it was just v hard to keep the story going

18.

It usually rains cats and dogs in London but for some reason, the rain is heavier than usual today. The droplets splatter against the windows in a constant buzzing rhythm, the sound meshing together in a melody not altogether pleasant to the ears. It’s half past five and yet the light has to be kept on because that’s how dark the sky has gotten- thunder rolls like a loud crack, abrupt and deafening, causing Daisy to jump in her seat.

“Just a thunderstorm, flower,” Eggsy says. They’re seated at the dinner table, Eggsy going over her homework while David sits opposite them, hunched over his laptop as he attempts to finish a post mission report. Eggsy is half convinced he gave up ten minutes ago- he’s got his earbuds in and he hasn’t really typed anything in a while, eyes focused on the screen. His eyebrows are scrunched up in a glare that’s too adorable for his own good- and for Eggsy’s.

- from could feel like kryptonite. a lot of my kingsman fics are actually so much happier than my cherik ones... i should prob look into that rip

19.

“When you’re done lazing around you can come in, you dozy dog,” he tells Officer Oatmeal, who butts her nose into his knee. She’s the only one not on a diet in the house, Eggsy deeming her far too healthy and skinny to need one anyway. In fact, she’s under strict instructions by Eggsy to fatten up instead.

Once the animals are done feeding- Eggsy sporting a suspicious scratch on his left forearm- they settle down to eat their scrambled eggs and toast. David’s taken a large gulp of his scalding coffee when Eggsy says, all of a sudden, “So, I have a school reunion.”

- from gonna set this dance alight. don’t remember much about this either tbh

20. (the last one FINALLY)

It isn’t a big event or explosion that makes David realise he wants to see his father’s ring sitting pretty on Eggsy’s index finger. No teary confessions in the rain like in the rom coms Eggsy loves to rent out and sniffle his way through, or a fight that makes David see sense. In the end, it’s breakfast that cinches the deal for him.

The day had started out normally enough. David wakes up at eight like clockwork, the soft downy hair at the base of Eggsy’s neck tickling his nose with his arm locked tight around his waist. He’d yawned, exhausted- mostly because they’d stayed up very late into the night making good use of the bed- before standing up and shucking his shirt off to head for the shower. Eggsy had shifted in his sleep, mumbling something unintelligible, and the sight had been too endearing to resist so he’d bent down, pressing a kiss to his forehead and smiling when Eggsy groaned out loud.

- from lover boy rules. i actually started a lot of my kingsman fics in the same way which is rather awful of me. im glad thats changed with my xmen fics lmfjgjk. also this has 15 comments???? i dont even get that much attention with my xmcu fics these days... which is arguably a more active fandom... Hello

anyway that’s the end of it needless to say i do not know 10 other authors so im just gonna tag whoever i know rn: @hellfre , @queerneto, @ikeracity, @drinkingstars, @zebraljb

#whew this is super long i apologise #u can pinpoint the exact time i replaced taron with james as my number one boy #fic tag #fic meme

6 notes · View notes