#once again questioning if i was actually abused or if i made it all out to be more dramatic than it actually was

[amber-laughs]

Thank you so much for your answer! I'd love to hear your thoughts on their relationship before the series begins. We know that the scene they shared in agot was not reflective of their actual dynamic even if most people loooove to forget that part. How did they interact? Did they ever? How was their relationship especially when Jon was a toddler or around 7-8? Thank you for your time!

oh fun question! well let's start from the beginning, we know that Catelyn was upset to find Jon in Winterfell before her

When the wars were over at last, and Catelyn rode to Winterfell, Jon and his wet nurse had already taken up residence. That cut deep. A Game of Throne- Catelyn II

but keep in mind Catelyn didn't know Ned yet. they'd obviously met and married but she doesn't really know anything about his temperament yet and even with that she's just arrived in a new place that will be her home forever, there's no way out, so the idea of her immediately showing her displeasure with Jon or Ned feels unlikely to me because in Family, Duty, Honor fashion she would first and foremost try to make her new family work to fulfill her father's alliance and be forced to put her wounded honor to the side. we know she did eventually work up the courage to ask Ned about Ashara Dayne

The Lady Ashara Dayne, tall and fair, with haunting violet eyes. It had taken her a fortnight to marshal her courage, but finally, in bed one night, Catelyn had asked her husband the truth of it, asked him to his face. That was the only time in all their years that Ned had ever frightened her. "Never ask me about Jon," he said, cold as ice. A Game of Thrones- Catelyn II

Ned scared her so bad she never asked again and neither did the servants. Now the fandom has a pretty simplistic, whitewashed view of Ned that isn't supported in canon but I would still call this out of character for him and Catelyn does too but remember, she barely knew him at this point, so it makes sense why she completely dropped the topic of not just Ashara but probably Jon as whole for a few years. but of course we know it does come up again.

Now I personally think the real trouble would start to come in as Jon was weened and was still in Winterfell. If he no longer needed a wet-nurse there's no reason not to foster him off in classic bastard fashion and Catelyn clearly thinks so too

Whoever Jon's mother had been, Ned must have loved her fiercely, for nothing Catelyn said would persuade him to send the boy away. It was the one thing she could never forgive him. A Game of Thrones- Catelyn II

Catelyn, of her own admission, was often trying to get Ned to kick Jon out of Winterfell. now this is where I need to remind people that I LOVE Catelyn Tully Stark. I'm on her team, I'm on her side, I'd buy her Mother's Day gifts if I could. most people in this fandom are actually pretty chill about the Catelyn Jon dynamic but there are two sides that think catelyn was an evil abusive wicked witch of the west specifically out to get an infant because she just feels like being evil and another side that thinks she never did anything to him and he's a spoiled brat who should be grateful she didn't make him sleep outside and eat only dog food. both are extremely annoying.

the truth is Catelyn was cruel to Jon and yes by George RR Martin's own words she never laid hands on him and she wasn't directly berating him throughout the years because like I said Catelyn isn't evil and she doesn't enjoy cruelty but when a child says he feels guilty eating in front of you there's a problem.

Jon wondered how Lady Catelyn's sister would feel about feeding Ned Stark's bastard. As a boy, he often felt as if the lady grudged him every bite. A Dance With Dragons- Jon IV

now it's possible Jon is projecting his own insecurities on to Catelyn here except:

Catelyn had nothing against this girl, but suddenly she could not help but think of Ned's bastard on the Wall, and the thought made her angry and guilty, both at once. She struggled to find words for a reply. A Game of Thrones- Catelyn VI

Catelyn does feel guilty for the way she's treated Jon. yes making Jon feel uncomfortable in Winterfell served a purpose, making sure he knows its not his. he has no right to it. Robb does. Robb will inherit. If not Robb then Bran, if not Bran then Rickon and so on and so forth. but none the less it was fucking mean. but here's the thing, Catelyn can't change society, she's navigating the rules she's given and Ned isn't, I imagine that would send her up a wall sometimes. because as she said Ned can have all the bastards he wants and she wouldn't care but Jon has no business being there and no business being treated like a true born next to her actual true born sons

"This is Valyrian steel, my lord," he said wonderingly. His father had let him handle Ice often enough; he knew the look, the feel. A Game of Thrones- Jon VIII

why the hell is Jon being allowed to handle the Stark ancestral sword? this is so widely out of the norm for Westeros it almost feels illegal. I can completely understand why Catelyn started trying to drill into Robb's head that Jon was different from him

That morning he called it first. "I'm Lord of Winterfell!" he cried, as he had a hundred times before. Only this time, this time, Robb had answered, "You can't be Lord of Winterfell, you're bastard-born. My lady mother says you can't ever be the Lord of Winterfell." A Storm of Swords- Jon XII

and it's also known throughout the Winterfell that there are hostilities between Jon and Catelyn. when Robb see's Jon is upset he immediately wonders if his mother is the reason

His voice was flat and tired. The visit had taken all the strength from him. Robb knew something was wrong. "My mother …" "She was … very kind," Jon told him. A Game of Thrones- Jon II

Jon also famously has the line where he admits Catelyn has never so much as called him by his name before so on Catelyn's side the relationship is somewhere on a spectrum from non existent to hostile. on Jon's side? well we know that Jon very consciously craved a mother

He knew nothing of his mother; Eddard Stark would not talk of her. Yet he dreamed of her at times, so often that he could almost see her face. A Game of Thrones- Jon III

often felt like he had to prove himself to his father

Bastard children were born from lust and lies, men said; their nature was wanton and treacherous. Once Jon had meant to prove them wrong, to show his lord father that he could be as good and true a son as Robb. I made a botch of that.  A Storm of Swords- Jon X

and I want to be clear, I know it wasn't Catelyn's job to make Jon feel welcome in his home, Ned really dropped the ball. It's Ned's fault that Jon just assumed he'd be destitute with no prospects by the time he turned 16 and it shows in the way Jon craves father figures in his life after he leaves Winterfell. Jeor Mormont, Benjen Stark, Mance Rayder, Maester Aemon, Stannis Baratheon I mean the list goes on. The thing is though there are no older women in Jon's life. Not at the Wall and not really in Winterfell either. He and Robb don't seem to take lessons from Septa Mordane and while Old Nan certainly taught him some important stories she doesn't seem to have set a maternal presence in his life.

I'm not saying Catelyn was or should have been Jon's mother because she wasn't and it surely wasn't her job but I do think she subconsciously fills that second parental placeholder in his head next to Ned because he clearly craves one but has no other woman to fill it.

Lord of Winterfell. I could be the Lord of Winterfell. My father's heir. It was not Lord Eddard's face he saw floating before him, though; it was Lady Catelyn's. A Storm of Swords- Jon XII

while this isn't Jon's deciding factor the idea of upsetting her or once again being rejected by her really bothers him, so much so that he can't even go on training with his friends, he has to leave and take a walk all alone. She's also one of the deciding factors when he's deciding whether to take his lifelong vows for the Night's Watch.

By the time the moon was full again, he would be back in Winterfell with his brothers. Your half brothers, a voice inside reminded him. And Lady Stark, who will not welcome you. A Game of Thrones- Jon V

but let's be clear Jon isn't just sitting around waiting for her to hug him. he doesn't like her either.

"Lady Stark is not my mother," Jon reminded him sharply. Tyrion Lannister had been a friend to him. If Lord Eddard was killed, she would be as much to blame as the queen. A Game of Thrones- Jon VII

he blames her for Ned's death just as much as he blames Cersei which is unfair and a bit delusional but childhood resentment will do that to a 15 year old.

So what was Jon and Catelyn's relationship like? Bad. Catelyn and Jon never had a chance. they were failed by the system. women and bastards seem to have a lot in common in Westeros in the sense that their agency is greatly limited. their safety rests on their graces of whatever man has placed their claim on them and this woman and this bastard were vying for the graces of the same man and felt one couldn't have it if the other one did too. which is a shame in and of itself because I think they're both better at this game than Ned was.

***Less about their pre-series relationship but Jon and Catelyn have so much in common thematically and politically speaking. I did a parallel of them if you'd like to check it out

#asks #that one girl who really doesn't play about jon and catelyn #Catelyn Tully #Jon Snow #AsoiafMeta #valyrian scrolls #valyrianscrolls

[robinsnest2111]

how to stop myself from spiralling into senseless harmful thought patterns

#once again questioning if i was actually abused or if i made it all out to be more dramatic than it actually was #what if i'm too harsh with my parents? what if i could've had that love and community i've always craved? #but then again... they're homophobic transphobic and make fun of everything that i hold dear... #and the things they did to me when i needed their support the most... i don't think i can ever forgive or trust them #but what if i'm overreacting and being unfair to them??????? #anyway how to stop spiralling into senseless harmful thought patterns??? #hate that once a month my body goes so out of whack that my brain demons grow strong enough to bite my ass unhindered #evil bastards fr

[cherienymphe]

Teenage Dirtbag XV

JJ Maybank x Reader x Rafe Cameron

Warnings: NON-CON, DUB-CON, abusive relationship, domestic violence, mentions of violence (+ gun violence), gun kink, dacryphilia, attempted murder, blood, semi public sex,  jealousy, manipulation, infidelity, underage drinking, drug use, canon ages, kook!reader

➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies | ➥ divider by @firefly-graphics

➥ series masterlist

summary: You’re charmingly spoiled. You’re too kind for your own good. You’re the princess of Figure 8 …and you’re way out of JJ Maybank’s league, but when he realizes that Rafe Cameron’s pride and joy is actually a bruised and battered damsel, he’s determined to save you.

Your rescue just comes with a price.

⭑

“Mother, please…”

Your parents and Rafe found your exasperation amusing, your back vibrating from the feel of his soft chuckle as you leaned against him. The blond wrapped his arms around you as your mother quietly pleaded for ‘just one more’. Your father wasn’t on your side on today of all days, and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes.

“You know how she gets,” he told you. “Let her have this.”

“It’s just Midsummers,” you said to them. “We do this every year.”

You tried not to let your unenthusiastic thoughts slip through too much, but where there was once a time you loved Midsummers, you mostly just wanted to get the night over with now. It still brought you joy—this you wouldn’t deny—but it wasn’t the same as it used to be. You used to look forward to it, and while you enjoyed getting dolled up and seeing your parents’ friends as they asked about you, you didn’t enjoy smiling in everyone’s faces and gushing over how happy you were with Rafe.

You looked forward to the food and drinks and floating around in a beautiful dress, but you didn’t look forward to Rafe’s hand on your waist all night. You didn’t look forward to laughing along as countless people wondered when Rafe planned on popping the question. You didn’t look forward to posing for countless pictures.

…as you were currently doing.

“Mother,” you sighed.

“You should be used to this by now,” she softly laughed. “…and grateful because I’m going to be far worse than you could ever imagine on your wedding day.”

Your stomach twisted at that, and you swallowed down bile just as Rafe tightened his arms around you.

“Stop being such a brat and just let your mom take the picture.”

His voice was quiet as his lips grazed your ear, and you kept a smile on your face as he straightened again. The older woman made a noise of approval, and you felt no relief when she was finally done. You glanced at Rafe just as your mother turned to your father to discuss the best ones, face even as your boyfriend adjusted your necklace.

He’d just bought it.

“Just stop smiling,” he murmured. “You look like you’re being tortured.”

“I have no idea what you mean.”

Rafe paused, staring you down for a moment before a small smirk made its way onto his lips. Dropping one arm, the other hand moved towards your face, touching your red lips.

“Cute…”

“We’ll meet you both there,” your father said over his shoulder as he walked your mother to his car. “…and please don’t forget to set the alarm. I think someone broke into our pool house.”

His words made your heart drop, and you whipped your head around to stare at the older man with wide eyes.

“What?” you said, voice uneven.

Your father made a gesture with his hand like he was scolding himself for forgetting to tell you that.

“Yeah, I went in there the other day looking for my golf clubs, and it just looked…off. Lived in,” he said, opening the car door. “I might install a camera or two, I don’t know.”

They bid you both goodbye, none the wiser to the internal turmoil he’d just caused, and you swallowed just as Rafe started to pull you back inside. You heard him scoff.

“Probably some Pogue looking to mooch,” he snidely commented, making his way to your father’s bar. “Typical.”

Clearing your throat, you grabbed your purse.

“It’s probably nothing,” you found yourself murmuring. “Besides, it’s a pool house, not exactly The Hilton.”

“Babe, your fucking basement would be like The Ritz to those people,” Rafe said with a shake of his head as he downed a quick drink. “You think too highly of them and their lack of standards.”

You really didn’t want Rafe of all people to preach to you about standards, and you huffed.

“Do you plan on driving there drunk or…?”

Rafe was in a lighter mood today, and so that actually brought a chuckle out of him. Pouring one more drink out of your father’s bottle, he made his way to you. When he kissed you, you could taste the alcohol on his lips, and you watched him pull away to empty the glass.

“I need something in my system if I’m going to be around my family and their friends all night. Especially Rose’s book club women,” he said with a shudder, guiding you out after setting the alarm.

You were almost to his truck when he stopped you, forcing you to face him. You felt nervous as you looked at the blond because you had no idea what he was thinking nor what was about to come out of his mouth. You rested your hands on his arms as he pulled you closer, his own hands comfortable at the small of your back. His blue gaze flitted between your own.

“Try to lose the pout, alright?” he said to you. “Your knee is much better, your nose is practically like new, and you look good enough to eat.”

Rafe leaned in, gently pressing his lips to your cheek.

“Things could always be worse,” was what he said to you when he pulled away, a hint of a threat in his voice as he stared into your eyes.

Yes, you supposed that was true, and you allowed him to walk you to the passenger door.

You didn’t know what Ward had said to him exactly, but you couldn’t ignore the restraint Rafe had practiced for weeks, now. You didn’t know if Ward had legitimately found something to scare him with or if it was a conversation that went more along the lines of ‘at least wait for her to fully recover’. You realized that your thoughts were bordering along something much worse than praising a fish for swimming, but it was relieving to not have to deal with Rafe’s violence and especially for this length of time.

The reprieve was almost enough to make you feel bad for seeing JJ behind his back.

Almost.

“I almost didn’t recognize you.”

The dark-haired girl turned to look at you, her confusion dying down as she placed the face to the voice. Kie weighed your words over in her mind, head slightly tilting from side to side before a small smile adorned her face.

“I know that’s meant as a compliment, so I’ll take it as one,” she said, taking her drink from the bartender. “I look like an uppity Kook princess…no offense.”

You didn’t take any offense to it.

“I know you wouldn’t dare be caught dead here willingly,” you commented, and Kie rolled her eyes over to her mom.

The woman was talking to your mom, a third woman with them that you didn’t recognize.

“It’s amazing how you know me so much better than my own mom,” she snidely replied, taking a sip of her punch. “She keeps waiting for me to ‘grow up’ as she puts it…”

You felt her eyes on you as the bartender finally gave you your own drink. You discreetly shook your head when he asked if you wanted anything else in it, the man no doubt familiar with how underage attendants got their way around here. At Kie’s surprised look, you spoke.

“I still take painkillers, so…”

The tan girl nodded at that, and a look passed over her features that looked a lot like concern.

“Sarah told me that your leg is much better.”

“It is, yeah,” you confirmed. “I can walk without a splint for the most part, but Rafe and my parents still want me to stay off of it if I can.”

She nodded, a soft ‘that’s good’ reaching your ears. Kie looked like she wanted to say more, and despite you two being friendly—with her eventually coming around to you—it was very clear in this moment that you were not friends. You blamed Rafe for that and was just about to go find him when she spoke again.

“It’s not my place…it’s really JJ’s to tell you the truth, but… He was really out of line that day in the hospital.”

Her words took you by surprise, her expression even more so because she looked genuinely embarrassed by what had occurred.

“Yeah, Rafe’s an asshole, and sure, sometimes he’s an asshole to you, and we’re probably the only ones who ever see that, but… JJ accusing him of that was really gross and uncalled for,” she continued.

You looked down at her words, unable to defend JJ in the way you wanted. Everyone thought he was just being a dick who hated Rafe, but in actuality he was right, and you took a sip of your drink.

“His feelings aren’t any excuse to accuse someone of something like that…”

You looked at her again at her words, expression inquiring.

“You know, about Rafe…and you,” she eventually added, albeit reluctantly.

She shrugged at the look on your face, her own expression softer than what you were used to.

“I think he likes you,” she said, shocking you. “Or…at the very least you surprised him. You’re just not what he expected.”

You struggled to respond to that, taking another sip.

“What makes you say that?” you wondered with a scoff.

“He brings you up sometimes. Just to me,” she added at the look on your face. “Nothing crazy. I just think he worries about you dating Rafe, and I keep telling him you’re with that guy for a reason.”

You swallowed, unsure of how to feel about JJ talking to Kie about you.

“There’s probably a whole other side to Rafe the rest of us will just never see…”

You thought to yourself if she only knew.

“That’s flattering,” you slowly said, attempting to steady your heart. “I didn’t even think JJ cared enough about me to talk about me to anyone. Especially to you.”

Sarah was always vocal about how tight-knit John B.’s friend group was before she came along. There’d been a few days where you absentmindedly listened to her talk about how she’d felt like she was intruding at first, only feeling welcomed by all after some time. You especially remembered a few comments on how protective Kie was over her boys, doubly so towards Sarah considering their history.

“I was surprised too,” the other girl agreed. “…but I guess he just wanted to talk to a girl about it.”

You only nodded at that, and you could feel her gaze on you, although it was hard to read when you looked at her.

“You know he’s here tonight…”

Even though your face didn’t move, your heart did skip a beat in your chest, and you sharply inhaled. You didn’t need her to confirm who she was talking about, but she did anyway, and you took another sip of your drink.

“He’s making some extra money,” she explained. “I didn’t get why he’d want to work Midsummers of all events, but…maybe now I do.”

Your gaze met hers at that, and before you could really study her expression, you were interrupted.

“You’re going to hang by the bar all night?” Rafe wondered, saddling up next to you as he flagged down the bartender.

He only just noticed Kie after a moment, throwing her a dismissive look before resting his blue eyes on you.

“Is she why I’ve had to entertain myself with Kelce and Topper despite coming with my beautiful girlfriend?”

You hated the way he talked about her like she wasn’t there, but before you could scold him on it, Kie made herself scarce with one last glance thrown your way. You forced it out of your mind, sighing at him.

“You three were discussing football. I figured that was your subtle way of excluding me…”

After being handed a drink he was just shy of being legal for, Rafe snaked his arm around your waist. He pressed his lips to yours, humming to himself.

“If I’d wanted you to go away, I would’ve said so,” he murmured into the kiss.

His lips made their way to your cheek, and that was the moment you took note of familiar blond hair over his shoulder. Just as Kie said, he was wearing a uniform, a serving tray in his hand, and you blinked. Was he really here just for you? It seemed like way too big of a risk to take, but you found yourself glad that he was.

You needed to tell him that he couldn’t sleep in the pool house for a while.

It was then that you heard Kelce call your boyfriend over, and you both turned to see the other guy waving him over. He and Topper and some of Rafe’s other friends were laughing down at someone’s phone, and Rafe squeezed your waist.

“Now I’m telling you to entertain yourself,” he chuckled. “I won’t be long.”

He left you to go and see what was so funny, and you tapped your finger against your glass a few times before stepping away. JJ’s blue gaze was already on you when you glanced over, and you looked back at Rafe one more time before stepping into the building. A few beats had passed before you heard footsteps mirroring yours.

Knowing this cursed place like the back of your hand, you were quick and discreet in slipping into a storage room. You swallowed down the rest of your drink as you slowly paced, telling yourself you were on a time crunch. It wasn’t too much longer before you had company, and you were quick to get your words out before JJ got the wrong idea.

“You can’t stay at the pool house tonight,” you told him, giving him pause. “Not for a while actually. Not until I can convince my father he doesn’t need to install cameras.”

You sighed.

“I might just tell him I’m the one who’s been in there.”

The blond nodded at that, and you watched him purse his lips.

“So…this isn’t what I thought it was going to be.”

You couldn’t hold back your smile at that, gently laughing to yourself.

“No, JJ,” you admonished. “Rafe is…right outside.”

You gestured towards the door.

“…and his friends will keep him occupied for a while sure, but definitely not long enough to…”

You trailed off, shrugging and dropping your arm. Your words made JJ’s eyebrows raise, and he gave you a look you were more than familiar with.

“That sounds like a challenge.”

You gave him a look.

“JJ…be serious…”

He slowly made his way to you, keeping his eyes on yours the entire time.

“I am,” he breathed, gaze finally dropping. “You look beautiful.”

Rafe had given you the same compliment, but it meant more coming from JJ’s lips, and your own lips parted. Your stomach always flipped when he said things like that to you, and you reminded yourself that you hadn’t met up with him for this. You said that, but the more you looked at him the more you thought how nice he looked in something akin to a suit.

JJ’s blond hair was just a tad neater, resembling Rafe’s almost, and you didn’t think you liked it. Too busy taking in his uncharacteristic appearance, you didn’t pay attention to how close he’d gotten until his hand was touching your necklace. It was a tennis one, the expensive piece of jewelry catching the light, and you focused in on JJ’s face just as he let out a low whistle.

“Rafe bought it,” you explained, noting how much it felt like a collar. “He insisted I wear it tonight.”

You glanced at the clock on the wall, telling yourself to leave, to tell JJ that you’d see him later. However, you couldn’t deny that you didn’t want to, hating that you were here with Rafe instead. You wanted to prolong your time with the other blond for as long as possible, and you knew that JJ was thinking the same thing by the way his hand rested on your cheek.

“JJ…”

Your voice was low as he moved closer.

“Rafe isn’t going to be distracted forever.”

He looked between your eyes at that, his teeth sinking into his lip. He seemed to be contemplating it for a few moments before dropping to his knees. Your heart thudded in your chest as he reached under your dress, dragging your underwear down, and you didn’t stop him as your stomach flipped. You didn’t miss the way he slipped them into his pocket as he stood, lips immediately finding yours.

You couldn’t resist rubbing your thighs together in anticipation, feeling heat settle in the pit of your stomach. JJ tasted the inside of your mouth, and you could tell he’d had a drink or two earlier. He took his time in kissing you, mouth slowly moving against yours, and somewhere along the way he seemed to remember where you were…what you were not supposed to be doing…and who you had to get back to.

Resting between JJ and the wall, you helped him undo his pants, hand immediately wrapping around his cock the moment it was free. He hissed against your lips, and you couldn’t hold back your smile, kissing him harder and stroking him. He groaned into the kiss when you squeezed him, and reminding yourself of Rafe, you pushed your lower half against his.

One of JJ’s hands slid behind your thigh before hooking your leg against his waist. He rested between your legs as his lips traveled down your neck, and with your underwear in his pocket, you could feel the tip of him poking at your bare skin, a shudder passing through you as you wrapped your arms around him.

Guiding the tip of him between your folds, JJ pushed himself through his fist a few times before sliding into you with one quick thrust. You threw your head back, gasping at the tight fight and thinking you liked it a little better when you weren’t as wet. The slight burn made you buck your hips, and JJ’s hands were tight on you as he started to thrust into you.

You couldn’t swallow down your moan, reaching out to press your hand against the wall as JJ fucked you. Wrapping your other arm around his shoulder and neck, you pressed your face against him, teeth sinking into the nice shirt he had on. His hands were guiding your hips to meet him thrust for thrust, his cock stretching you out. You grew wetter with every movement, and it wasn’t long before each thrust was smoother and easier than the last.

For a few moments, you forgot all about Rafe and Midsummers and the fact that you had to go back out there and smile on your boyfriend’s arm. There was even a faint thought that he might be looking for you that you pushed out of your mind. All you could focus on was the feeling of JJ inside of you, chasing both of your climaxes. You wanted to keep fucking him for hours, but you knew that wouldn’t be possible, now.

You glanced at the clock again when JJ left open mouthed kisses against your throat, groaning against your skin as you squeezed him. You kept pushing your hips forward to meet his thrusts, dripping around his cock, and pulling at his uniform. Your other hand reached between you, dipping under your dress and circling your bundle of nerves. Your toes curled at the feel, and when you came, you came hard.

You swallowed down your moan as you tightened around JJ, and when your climax triggered his own, he pressed his face into the crook of your neck. You clung to each other as you came together and getting it in your head that you needed to go, you dropped your leg. You were going to help JJ get redressed, but he deterred you with a quick kiss.

“Go, go,” he urged, ushering you out of the room, and you hurried to make sure your hair and dress were fine as you sped away from the room.

You were down the hall when you felt JJ dripping down your thighs, and with a start, you realized he still had your underwear. You were contemplating turning back when you heard your name, the sound getting closer and closer until Rafe finally rounded the corner. Your eyes were wide as they met his angry ones, and you didn’t get a word out before his hand tightened on your arm.

“Where the hell have you been?”

“The bathroom,” was your quick answer, blinking before adding to it. “…and then the kitchens. I was trying to find a ginger-ale. My stomach felt weird.”

“I’ve been looking for you forever,” he spat, pulling you in the opposite direction of the party. “Sarah and my dad are being especially irritating, right now.”

When Rafe pulled you into an empty room, your heart sank.

…because you knew what he wanted.

“Rafe…not here…”

Your words actually gave him pause, and your boyfriend looked at you like you’d lost your mind. One of his hands pressed to the very door you were leaning against, and you watched him tilt his head at you. His hair wasn’t so neat now—a sign that he’d been running his hands through it—and you swallowed at the way he looked between your eyes.

“We’ve never not fucked at Midsummers,” he told you. “It’s practically a tradition, now.”

He softly laughed to himself, finding that funny.

“Can’t we just go? Let’s just go home and shower and-.”

“I’m not ready to go,” he cut you off, eyeing you. “My sister has been annoying me, and my dad is making me want to snort four lines of coke, and instead, I choose to fuck my girlfriend.”

The determination on his face made your nerves spike, and you were all too aware in this moment of the feel of JJ’s cum drying on the inside of your thighs. You didn’t think Rafe would even notice such a thing in his haste to be inside of you, but you knew you didn’t have the capacity to not feel icky fucking Rafe after just doing so with JJ.

“…but for whatever reason, she’s fighting me on that.”

Now, he looked angrier than he did before, and you looked towards the ceiling.

“I thought we were past this…”

When you looked at him again, his face was much closer.

“I thought we were on the same page about the least you could do in this relationship.”

You looked down at that, chest clenching painfully at the memory. The silence between you was thick with tension, and when he slowly reached up to touch your face, you let your eyes close.

“Are you going to fuck me, or do I need to give you another nose job?”

At his soft words, you looked into his eyes. Rafe was entirely serious, and with a shaky sigh, you reached for his belt. He didn’t say a word as you unbuckled it, and you shuddered when he leaned in to kiss your cheek, inhaling at the feel of you slipping your hand into his pants. His hand reached up to the back of your neck as you stroked him, fingers finding that stupid necklace and tightening it around your throat.

“Fuck,” he cursed against your skin.

Rafe moved you towards an empty table, hurried in pushing you onto it, and he didn’t hesitate in covering your frame and guiding himself into you. He groaned at the smooth entry, kissing you again and pushing his hips against yours.

“So wet for me already?” he hummed into the kiss.

He reached under you to lift your hips a bit, holding you right where he wanted you as he thrust into you. So eager to fuck you, Rafe didn’t even notice your lack of underwear. Or at least not enough to comment on it if he did, too preoccupied with taking out his frustrations on your body. You held onto him and his arm as you squeezed your eyes shut, fighting to convince yourself that you weren’t as horrible as you felt.

It wasn’t even twenty minutes ago when JJ was inside of you, fucking you in some storage room and fighting to make you come before you had to get back to Rafe. Now, here you were, once again in an empty room but having sex with someone entirely different. You shuddered as you recalled Rafe’s words, knowing that it wasn’t your arousal for him but instead a combination from both you and JJ after the other blond had come inside of you.

The thought made you want to shy away from the man on top of you, but there was nowhere to go. The table shook beneath his rough thrusts, and Rafe seemed to forget that you were there as he pounded into you. You flinched and squirmed beneath your boyfriend from both the rough treatment and the overstimulation, feeling torn between wanting to come again and pushing Rafe away.

When he fisted his hand into the hair at the nape of your neck, pulling your head back, you knew that you were in for a long night.

Your chest was painfully tight as you stared at Rafe in horror. Your boyfriend looked nothing like the gentleman he pretended to be but instead like the monster he often was. Only this time, that violent gleam in his eyes wasn’t directed at you. It had set its sights on JJ.

“Rafe…come on, this is ridiculous, let’s just go,” you repeated for the umpteenth time.

It was only an hour ago that you were hanging onto him as he fucked you in some empty room, pent up and angry at both Sarah and Ward. Now—somehow—you’d found yourselves outside as his friends held JJ’s arms, your boyfriend gearing up to hit him again. It was unfair and disgusting and cruel.

“You’re being an asshole, and for what? Because he’s here?”

The party was still going on, and twenty minutes ago you’d thought you were leaving. Now, you were basically forced to watch Rafe hurt the guy you were sleeping with. He kept telling you to leave, that this wouldn’t take long and wouldn’t be much longer, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to abandon JJ so easily.

“Rafe!”

“Get in the damn truck,” he called over his shoulder.

He sounded exasperated with you, and his friends chuckled. You looked between them in disgust, most notably at Topper who clearly wasn’t enjoying this as much as the others but didn’t have the balls to actually say something. Disappointed in all of them, your eyes briefly met JJ’s, his practically pleading with you to just leave.

You huffed.

“Fuck this,” you spat, making your way back towards the building to find someone who worked here.

Your tone must have caught Rafe’s attention because he was quick to stop you, roughly grabbing you.

“Woah, woah, woah,” he chuckled, but it had an edge to it. “I thought I said to wait in the truck?”

He looked at you like you’d lost your mind.

“What, you’re-you were going to go tattle on me?”

“This is shitty, and I won’t stand by and let it happen,” you replied.

“Who gives a fuck? He’s a Pogue!”

“…and so that makes this okay? I want to go home, and you want to stand here beating on someone who can’t even fight back!”

Rafe looked between your eyes, and you hated the way he tilted his head.

“Why do you care so much about what happens to him?”

“You’re so stupid-! It could be anyone, Rafe,” you sneered. “This is childish and mean.”

Rafe stared you down for what felt like too long—too still—and your heart beat faster the longer it went on. Before you knew it, his hand had fisted into your hair, and he was dragging you over to his friends.

“See… This is why he’s always making googly eyes at you,” Rafe said, not sounding the least bit amused. “This is why he’s making comments and accusations about me and our relationship.”

Rafe maneuvered his arm around your neck, holding you close as he grinned at JJ.

“You’re too nice, baby. Too sympathetic,” he chuckled, gesturing to the other blond. “He’s got himself a little crush, I just know it.”

You attempted to move out of Rafe’s grip, but he wouldn’t budge. You hated the bruising that was already forming under JJ’s eyes and the blood on his lip too. You made a noise of protest when Rafe kissed you on the lips, sloppily and rough, before turning away.

“Hey, JJ,” your boyfriend softly said, tone mocking. “She’s just being nice…because that’s just who she is.”

“Rafe…”

“Don’t go getting any ideas.”

“You’re making a fool of yourself,” you spat at Rafe, knowing that he was doing so in more ways than one.

Rafe looked at you in mock outrage, shrugging.

“I’m just trying to help him out,” he told you. “It’s not my fault these Pogues always want what we have.”

“Rafe, stop this,” you hissed. “You’re being an asshole.”

The words had barely left your mouth when his hand roughly closed around your chin. You winced at the feel, and neither you nor Rafe missed the way JJ tried to break free. Rafe’s friends chuckled at the sight, but Rafe didn’t, merely staring at the other blond.

“Look at you,” he finally mused. “I don’t know whether I should feel flattered or offended that you feel so protective over my girlfriend.”

There wasn’t a hint of humor in his tone, and before you could quite marinate on that, you were harshly thrown to the ground. The mood seemed to shift at that, and you could tell that his friends hadn’t been expecting that. You didn’t know if Rafe was drunk or high or both, but he’d never been so public in his cavalier treatment of you.

“She’s my girlfriend, JJ, and I could do anything I want to her…”

You attempted to push yourself up when you felt the sole of his shoe on your knee…that knee.

“I could set her little healing journey back…”

You looked up at him with wide eyes, sure that he wouldn’t with so many witnesses, but also…not so sure. You glanced at JJ, but the other blond was staring at Rafe with wide eyes, and you couldn’t tell whether he was angry or scared. Probably both.

“I could rip her hair out right here…” he gestured to his friends. “…and do you think any of them would stop me?”

“Rafe,” Topper finally said, and your boyfriend’s gaze snapped to him.

“Would you?”

Topper just stared at him, but his silence spoke volumes, and you only attempted to stand again when your boyfriend finally moved his foot. He pointed around, his gaze resting on JJ again.

“None of them are going to do shit,” he said to him. “So, what makes you so special to think you have a say in how I treat my girlfriend?”

Your lips trembled as you finally stood to your feet.

“…because she was nice to you once? Because she doesn’t want me to kick your ass now?”

You looked between them, the faint sounds of the party reaching your ears.

“Truth be told, I should kick your face in for that stunt you pulled at the hospital,” your boyfriend sneered.

“Rafe, you’ve made your point!”

You hated this entire pissing contest he was doing, and at this point, you half expected Rafe to whip it out and mark his territory. He stared JJ down for what felt like too long, his friends equally uncomfortable now with the turn the night had taken. You could see it in his eyes that he wanted to slap you clear across the face—maybe even break your arm—all just to prove that he could do whatever he wanted to you, and there wasn’t a thing JJ could do about it.

Rafe, however, settled for harshly grabbing your face and spitting right into your mouth as you gasped.

Taken aback, you couldn’t hold in your coughing fit, forced to follow along as he roughly grabbed your arm.

“Like I said JJ. Anything I want,” he repeated.

Dragging you along, Rafe tossed his next words over his shoulder at his friends.

“That Pogue’s all yours.”

You felt riddled with disgust the whole way to his truck, humiliated and angry. You blinked back tears as you recalled the way his friends did nothing, didn’t even move a muscle as he threw you to the ground, and you didn’t know what you hated more—that or Topper’s cowardly attempt that he ultimately backed out of.

Once you were at his truck and away from prying eyes, the slap came harshly and swiftly.

It made your ears ring and your cheek sting, tears forming behind your eyes as Rafe leaned in. His nose grazed the burning cheek, and you could hear his labored breathing as his chest heaved against your arm. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes, and neither did you, just staring into the darkness as a few tears finally spilled over.

“That is the last time you defend that Pogue…especially around me,” he whispered. “Do you understand?”

You started to nod when his hand circled around your throat, making you sharply inhale.

“I want to hear you fucking say it.”

Pulling at his arm, you eventually gave up on that, forcing the word out.

“Yes,” you struggled to say.

Shoving you away from him, he opened the passenger door, telling you to get inside. Wiping your face, you did, settling in the seat with a newfound hatred for Midsummers.

#jj maybank x reader #dark!jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #dark!jj maybank #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #dark!rafe cameron #dark!rafe cameron x reader #obx #outer banks #obx fic #obx fanfiction #outer banks fic #outer banks fanfiction #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank imagine #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fanfiction #obx imagine #outer banks imagine

[whytheylosttheirminds]

I Remember Everything - Rafe Cameron (Chapter 4)

Summary: You left the island two years ago, leaving the love of your life a shattered man in your wake. Now, when you return, you find the sweet boy you once loved has transformed into a monster of a man. How can you detangle the real Rafe from the terrible things he's done?

Timeline: begins toward the end of obx season 3 and is mostly canon.

Content: this story contains sexual content, alcohol and drug abuse, and brief mentions of violence. All chapters are 18+, minors do not interact!

(Prologue and Ch. 1) // (Ch. 2) // (Ch. 3)

Rafe had his head down on the rusting metal table. The sheriff’s deputies had all taken turns trying to interrogate him about the events of the day before, but none of them had succeeded in getting him to admit his father was on that plane. His hands were still bloody from the fight and he was exhausted, having been awake for nearly 48-hours.

The door creaked open again, but he didn’t bother lifting his head, anticipating another round of questions he wasn’t going to answer.

“Well,” Shoupe said with a sigh. “You’re free to go.”

Rafe raised his head with a smug smile. “What’s the matter, Shoupe? Couldn’t make anything stick?”

Shoupe rolled his eyes, “just stay on the island, alright? We’re not done with you yet.”

“Actually, sounds like you are,” Rafe stood and patted Shoupe’s shoulder condescendingly as he started walking towards the door.

“Funny, I didn’t think there was anyone left on this island who cared enough about you to wait in the station lobby all night, but apparently I was wrong,” Shoupe said as Rafe opened the door.

Keeping his back turned, Rafe stood in the doorway with his brow furrowed. He didn’t want to give Shoupe the satisfaction of knowing he also had no idea who could care enough about him to be there. 

As he passed the rest of the officers, standing there watching him in disgust and disbelief that he was getting away again, he gave them a smirk and a mocking salute, “a pleasure as always.”

You shifted in the uncomfortable lobby seat, continuously fidgeting both from discomfort and panic at the idea of seeing Rafe. When you had approached the front desk and told them you were here to post bail for Rafe Cameron, the woman behind the counter looked at you annoyed and informed you that you couldn’t, as Rafe hadn’t officially been charged yet.

“Charged with what?” You asked.

She rolled her eyes at your naivete and returned to the sudoku she had been working on.

“Okay, then,” you said as you took a seat in the empty waiting area. 

That was six hours ago, but you figured if he hadn’t been charged, they would have to release him eventually, and you’d be here waiting. You had no earthly idea what you would say to him when the time came, but you’d be here, and maybe that would be enough.

He strutted into the lobby like he owned the place, his cocky walk coming to an abrupt halt when he looked up and saw you sitting there. You rose to your feet, shocked at the sight of him even though it was all you had been thinking about since you ran out of the cemetery hours ago.

Rafe looked at you with an expression you hadn’t seen before. In his eyes, you could see his brain at work, like he was calculating. What choices he was weighing, you weren’t sure, but you certainly didn’t expect the move he made next.

“Hey, baby!” He called out, striding toward you quickly, pulling you into his arms. Just as you opened your mouth to respond, he kissed you. It was sloppy and crude, his tongue invading your mouth as hands grabbed your ass, lifting you into the air. Your face burned with shock and embarrassment, knowing all of the cops in the station could see you two. Then it clicked - that’s exactly why Rafe was doing it.

Before had a chance to decide if you were going to play along or slap him, he broke the kiss and threw his arm around your shoulders, walking you toward the front door.

“Later, Shoupe!” Rafe called over his shoulder, turning the two of you slightly, allowing you to get a quick look at Shoupe standing with his hands on his hips, red in the face. What the fuck did Rafe do to make Shoupe look at him like that?

You stayed silent as Rafe walked you through the door, leading you down the block and turning onto a side street. The second you were out of sight of the station, he pulled his arm away and took several long strides to create as much space between you as possible.

He looked at you for a long moment, once again calculating his next move. You froze in anticipation as he opened his mouth to say something, heart dropping when he changed his mind and closed it again. Silently, he turned and started walking away from you down the street.

“My car’s the other way,” you said, feeling stupid for saying such a mundane thing in such a heated moment.

“Have a nice walk then,” he called back sarcastically.

“Where are you going?” 

“Home,” he was almost too far for you to hear now. You started after him, needing to jog a bit to catch up with him.

“Let me give you a ride,” you panted once you had caught up to him, stepping in front of him to stop him from getting any further away.

“Think I’d rather walk,” he said dismissively. 

“It’s 10pm, and you’re gonna what? Walk through The Cut in the middle of the night? I know I’ve been gone for a while, but I don’t think they’ve changed their opinion on having Kooks in their territory,” you were pulling out any logic you could think of to get him into your car so you could finally talk to him.

Taking your point, he rolled his eyes and turned around, walking in the direction you had indicated your car was in.

You drove in silence for what felt like an hour, but couldn’t have been, as you knew the drive to Tannyhill was fifteen minutes tops. Rafe was looking out the window, hands anxiously rubbing up and down his thighs as he kept shifting uncomfortably in his seat, like he was fighting against some invisible restraint. You were trying hard to keep your eyes on the road, but couldn’t control the way they kept drifting over to him, eyeing the blood on his battered hands. The remnants of what was clearly not a good forty-eight hours all over him.

You had so many things you wanted to say, so many questions you wanted to ask him, that you almost couldn’t think straight. You were still reeling from the news that his father had died, and now the sight of him walking out of the sheriff’s station covered in blood. If so much could happen to him in just a few weeks, you didn’t even want to think about how much of his life you missed in the last two years.

After a while, the silence so tense it almost hurt, you decided to dip your toe in the water.

“Is it yours?” You asked, forcing your eyes to stay on the road.

“What?” He mumbled as he ran his hands over his buzzed head, still not looking at you.

“The blood,” you clarified.

“Some of it,” he answered honestly.

You nodded, as though this was all super normal. “And the rest of it?”

He threw his head back on the seat and let out a forceful sigh, pointedly not answering your question. You decided you’d tested the waters enough and remained silent the rest of the drive.

When you pulled up to the gate at Tannyhill, you rolled down the window so you could reach the box to put the code in, looking at Rafe expectedly. Your attempted nonchalance didn’t work, he rolled his eyes at you, pulling out his phone. As he typed the code into his app, he used his other hand to cover the numbers from your view. Long gone were the days he’d text you the code the second Ward changed it so you could sneak in and out to see him whenever you wanted. The days he’d hold you until you fell asleep, whispering to you about how someday he’d inherit this house and share it with you. As you watched the gates slowly open in the glow of your headlights, the future you once believed in so fiercely had never felt further away.

You drove slowly down the long drive toward the house, surprised to see it was completely dark.

“Where is everyone? Where’s Sarah?” You asked. 

“Just drop me here,” Rafe ignored your question.

You stopped the car a few yards from the front door, and Rafe immediately climbed out, closing the door loudly behind him and walking toward the house. You weren’t exactly expecting him to invite you in, but this non-goodbye was so abrupt you felt cheated. Your mind raced with all the things you still wanted to say as you watched Rafe walking toward the house, your chance to finally say them going with him.

You snapped out of your haze and threw open the car door, not bothering to close it behind you as you ran after him calling, “wait!”

He turned on you quickly, making you stop in your tracks a few feet from him. Suddenly, all the things you wanted to say disappeared from your mind and you swallowed hard.

“What do you want?” He prompted, looking annoyed at how long it was taking you to form a sentence. “Why the hell were you at the station?”

“I just…” you could feel him preparing to turn and keep walking back towards the house, you needed to say something, fast. “Your dad.”

Rafe clenched his jaw, he didn’t know what you had heard and wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.

“I’m…” you took one step towards him. “Rafe, I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” He left the question open ended, forcing you to reveal exactly how much you knew.

“I saw his plot, at the cemetery,” you didn’t need to tell Rafe what you were doing at the cemetery, he had been there with you on multiple occasions, including the day they buried your own father.

Rafe just shrugged, looking at the ground to avoid your empathetic gaze.

“Rafe,” you said quietly, the sound of his name on your tongue sending chills through you both. When he still didn’t look up at you, you stepped closer. He tried to dodge your eyeline, but you reached up gently and placed your fingers under his jaw, looking him straight in the eye as you asked, “what’s going on?”

For a long moment, the two of you just stood there, chest to chest as you searched each other’s faces in the glow of the moon. If he’d let you, you would stand there for hours, just studying him, trying to read it all on his face. You used to know the meaning of every expression he made, every glint in his eye, every twitch of his lips. The two of you used to be able to have full conversations without saying a word. Now, your eyes searched every inch of his face, and you were coming up with nothing. 

He snapped his head back suddenly, ripping it away from your hand like you were burning him. He shook his head, and he wasn’t sure who he was saying no to- you or himself. 

“Just go home, y/n,” he said, arm outstretched, gesturing towards your car dismissively. 

“I can’t,” you spoke into the darkness. 

Rafe caught himself before asking you why, trying to preserve the image that he didn’t care. He assumed it had something to do with your mom. He had spent countless hours of his life listening to your stories of fights with your mother, even being present and involved in several of them, often being the source of the conflict. He swallowed the temptation to ask you what happened, pushing away the desire to have you laying with your head in his lap, gently playing with your hair as he let you rant as long as it took for you to feel better. He pushed the memory away, an action that was muscle memory to him at this point. 

“Well you can’t stay here,” he told you.

“But I just want to-”

“Just leave! We both know you know how to, you’re a fucking professional at it!” His booming voice echoed through the evening air and shot straight through you.

Tears sprang to your eyes, the sound of his raised voice so jarring. He had never screamed at you like this. Even in moments of frustration, just the thought of making you cry was enough to break him. 

You closed your eyes, letting the tears slip through and slide down your cheeks. You turned from him, but he’d already seen them. Guilt and fury battled in his chest, wanting to hold you and push you away at the same time. He hated the sight of your tears, but being able to release the hurt and anger he’d been feeling for two years felt somewhat satisfying, too. He felt like he was two completely different people, not sure he wanted to be either of them.

You sniffled and wiped your tears with the backs of your hands, gathering yourself before turning back to him.

“I know that I hurt you,” you said. “But I have my side of the story, too.”

“The story?” he scoffed. “You said you’d love me forever and then you didn’t. You said you wouldn’t disappear into the night and that’s exactly what you did. You’re a liar. That’s the story.”

Every day for two years, you had broken your own heart. You had never stopped trying to fight the demons of that night. You had devoted your life to trying to figure out what the hell had happened that could’ve ended with you on a train, riding off into the night against your will. For two years, you’d spent your nights praying to any God that would listen to let you go back in time, to undo this twisted fate. 

But none of those agonizing nights hurt quite like this. He really thought you had wanted to leave? That you just up and stopped loving him? You knew he had no way of knowing what really happened, but you were still clinging to some small shred of hope that he’d give you the benefit of the doubt. Clearly he hadn’t. 

“Is that what you think?” You asked in a small voice.

“That’s what I know,” he corrected. 

No words came to you as all of the tiny cracks in your heart you had worked so hard to fill ripped open again. Rafe only took your silence as confirmation.

“Let it go, y/n,” he said, turning to walk towards the house. “I have.”

With that, he closed the door firmly behind him, the lock clicking loudly.

So that was it then. Seven years of friendship, five years of wild love, two years of heartbreak. Fourteen years of him gone, the rest of your life without him a sprawling void ahead of you. The kiss you shared in the sheriff’s station would be your last. Your last kiss and it wasn’t even real, the agony of that thought pushed you ever the edge and the tears you’ve been trying to stifle flowed free. Shoulders shaking with your sobs, you forced yourself to walk back to the car, no idea where you’d go once you were in it.

The door was still open, but the light had gone out. Once inside, you turned the key and the engine sputtered meekly as you tried and failed to turn it over. 

“Shit!” You screamed, slamming your hands against the steering wheel. Leaving the door open must’ve killed the battery. You cursed your mom for insisting on still driving this piece of shit even though she could easily afford an upgrade.

A professional leaver, Rafe had called you. The irony that just minutes after he said that you were literally unable to leave made you chuckle humorlessly. All of the emotion of this week weighing on your shoulders, you sat and cry-laughed into the darkness, feeling completely unhinged. What was supposed to be a quick, uneventful trip to your hometown had turned into a complete shitshow, you don’t know why you expected anything less.

You sat in the dark, giving up on trying to start the car. What were you supposed to do here? You could either knock on the door and chance another verbal bruising from Rafe, or walk home in the dead of night and face your mother. You fell asleep trying to decide which was worse.

Seven Years Earlier…

There were so many people packed into your house, you assumed nobody would notice when you slipped out and hopped on your bike. You were wrong. Rafe saw your bike lying on its side on the path leading down toward the beach, you hadn’t even bothered to put up the kickstand. 

He followed your footsteps down to the water. It was chilly and raining, the beach completely clear of people. The rain was falling hard, washing your footsteps from the sand, but he managed to follow what was left of them to the abandoned lifeguard tower you used to climb on as kids. There you were, sitting underneath the wooden structure for shelter, feet digging into the sand as you hugged your knees to your chest. Rafe stopped short, he hated seeing you upset, but he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do to make you feel better. He had never been very good at feelings.

He decided he would approach you anyway, not saying anything in order to avoid saying the wrong thing. He ducked down and slid between the stilts of the tower, finding a space on the ground next to you.

You didn’t have to look over to know who it was, you could feel him. You were relieved when Rafe didn’t say anything, you were so overwhelmed by the chaos of the day, you couldn’t form words to explain it if you tried. After a few minutes, you couldn’t hold back the tears any longer and they began rolling down your face in big, fat drops. 

“Hey, hey,” Rafe said, startled by your sudden outburst. He put his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into him. You laid your head on his shoulder and he awkwardly rubbed his hand up and down your back. “It’s…it’s gonna be ok,” he said hesitantly, terrified he’d somehow make you feel worse.

The soft fabric of the black dress your mother had chosen for you to wear to your father’s wake felt nice under his fingertips. His hand grazing softly up and down your back felt nice as you let the tears fall. You let Rafe soothe you for a few minutes, before taking a deep breath and wiping your tears away with the back of your hands.

“Sorry,” you said with a self-deprecating laugh.

“You don’t have to say sorry,” he assured with a sincerity that almost made you start crying again. 

You looked over at him for the first time, his hair messy and wet from walking all the way here from your house in the rain. His cheeks were pink from the chilly air and the bashfulness he was feeling from sharing such an intimate moment with you. You had always thought he was cute, but in this moment, you realized you absolutely adored him.

“I just didn’t want to be there anymore,” you explained. “I don’t even know half of those people and everyone just kept hugging me.”

“I wouldn’t want to be there either,” he reassured you.

You nodded, sniffling, and giving him a thankful smile. Without really thinking it through he reached out a shaky hand and wiped the remaining tears off your cheeks. His hand lingered, and you placed yours on top of it, squeezing gently with appreciation. The contact made both of you blush and you looked away from each other. You had been friends since you were both six-years-old, of course you had touched before, but something about this time felt different.

“I know how you feel,” he said in a voice so quiet that you could barely hear it over the pattering of rain on the wooden structure above you and the crashing of waves. 

That’s right. In the storm of your own grief you had almost forgotten that Rafe had once lost a parent, too. It was about a year after you got to the island, he had missed two weeks of school in the third grade. When he came back, he started his still-running reign of principal’s office MVP.  

“I know it feels like maybe you won’t ever be happy again,” he looked out at the ocean, afraid you would notice the water starting to collect in the corners of his eyes. “But you will be. You’ll find something that makes you happy, and soon it won’t hurt so bad.”

“Did you?” You asked.

“Did I what?”

“Find something that made you happy again?”

“Yes.”

“What was it?”

Rafe looked down at his feet shyly, his hand scratching the back of his neck in discomfort. You teasingly elbowed him, making him laugh. He swallowed hard before mumbling, “you.”

Your stomach flipped and your face went beat red, completely caught off guard by his answer. Once again, your heart ached with the affection you felt for him. You reached out and lightly tucked your fingers under his chin, pulling his face up to meet your gaze.

“You make me happy, too,” you confessed. 

You had never done it before, and you weren’t really sure how to, but you knew that you just had to kiss him. Rafe had the same idea, and met you half-way with his own lips puckered. 

It was quick and innocent, the first of a million kisses you’d share. You didn’t know how it was possible to feel so sad and so happy at the same time, but you felt as though you could face anything now that you knew you wouldn’t have to face it alone.

Now…

TAP TAP TAP. Your eyes flew open as you lifted your head from the window and took in your surroundings, unsure of where you were. As your blurry surroundings came into focus, you were pulled down from your post-sleep haze by the looming figure of the man on the other side of the window. Rafe stood outside your car window, holding up a steaming mug of coffee. 

You rolled the window down, smiling shyly at Rafe as you blinked rapidly in the soft morning light. 

“Hi,” you said weakly.

“You sleep here?” He asked with neither amusement nor annoyance in his voice.

“The car wouldn’t start,” you explained. “I think the battery died.”

“You could’ve told me, I could’ve called Triple A,” he chided.

“I wasn’t sure you would’ve opened the door if I knocked,” you pointed out.

“That’s fair,” he agreed. The gentleness he was speaking to you with now was in such stark contrast to the tone he’d used last night. You didn’t want to say anything, scared to disturb the calm waters.

He handed the coffee to you, which you accepted gratefully. You took a sip, two creams and one sugar - he remembered. 

“Thank you,” you said softly.

“You can come inside while I call someone to come jump the car,” he offered.

You were so confused, but didn’t want to question it. You simply nodded as he opened the car door for you so you could climb out without spilling the coffee. 

After calling Triple A, Rafe joined you on the back porch, now with his own cup of coffee.

“Still take yours black?” You asked.

“The way coffee should be?” He teased. “Yes, yes I do.”

You smiled and you shook your head at him, clutching your coffee and looking out at the sun rising over the sea. The two of you sat in silence for a while on opposite sides of the wicker patio couch, sipping your coffees and avoiding each other’s eyes. 

You thought through the events of yesterday, remembering everything Rafe had said, and everything you wanted to say but hadn’t been able to. Rafe’s words were so cruel, but you got the sense he had fully believed everything he said. You thought you would never get the chance to respond to his accusations, but your car troubles had given you this extra time with him, and you didn’t want to waste the second chance. Should you make a joke? Try to tease him some more about his coffee preferences? Should you ask about his dad, or the reason he had been taken in to the sheriff’s office for questioning? Rafe clearly didn’t want to talk about his dad, and if this was your last chance to talk to him, you didn’t want to waste it on small talk. You decided your only option was to talk about yourself, about how you are feeling, and let him decide if he wanted to hear it or not.

“You’re wrong,” you said, sitting up to look at him. 

Your direct words startled him and he snapped his head to you, also sitting up straight.

“About what?” He says defensively. 

You look at him, hoping he can’t tell that your heartbeat is spiking and your throat is tight with anxiety. You need what you’re about to say to come out confidently, you need to say it with your chest or you may as well not say it at all.

“I never lied to you,” you told him. “And I never stopped loving you.”

Rafe’s face went pale, not at all expecting you to say that. He set his coffee down and got up from the couch, walking quickly back into the house and leaving you sitting alone, heart in hand. 

You followed him into the house, feet padding on the wooden floor behind him.

“Please just talk to me,” you pleaded.

He rounded on you, forcing you to step back.

“Don’t say shit like that!” He yelled.

“Don’t yell at me!” You matched his energy. “You never used to yell at me.”

“You left, y/n! What was I supposed to do, stay exactly the same and wait patiently for you to come back from God-knows-where like a good boy? No!” He jammed his finger into his chest, “I grew up! I became a fucking man! And now you wanna just waltz in like nothing fucking happened? It’s too late for that!”

You didn’t cower, but got closer to him with each proclamation he made. You found something in you that you hadn’t had last night, something like courage.

“You’re fucking right you changed! You know how I know? The old Rafe would’ve listened to me for two fucking seconds so I could explain!”

“I don’t wanna hear any fucking excuses-”

“I’m not making excuses! If you’d let me speak for two fucking seconds, you’d know that!” 

“There’s nothing you could say that would make me not pissed at you,” his voice was lowered but still filled with vitriol.

“You know what? Fine,” you shot back. “Be pissed at me. But I’ve had a long, unbelievably shitty two years and I’m not gonna stand here and let you scream at me as if you’ve never done anything wrong, ‘cause we both know that’s far from the truth.”

Rafe looked at you like you had smacked him, surprise flashing across his face. Of course, he knew you were referring to the accident and the things that happened before you left, right? His face smoothed over with recognition, maybe even relief.

“You’re talking about the accident,” he confirmed.

“Yes, I’m talking about the accident,” you crossed your arms over your chest. “What else would I be talking about?”

He shook his head, “nothing.”

“Unless there’s something you want to tell me?” Like maybe why you were held for questioning by the police for 24-hours, covered in someone else’s blood. 

Rafe studied you for any sign that you knew what had really been going on the past few months. You were looking at him so intensely, it was impossible to read your face. He couldn’t bear the thought that you knew what he’d done, what he’d become. And even though he was still pissed at you, still hurt, no matter your supposed explanation for leaving, he was desperate for you to remember him as the person he was before. He needed you to believe he was good. 

He drank you in for a long time, standing there with your arms crossed, looking up at him expectantly. Your hair was still messy from your night of tossing and turning in the car. You definitely looked older, but you were still so essentially you. He knew you wouldn’t let him stall much longer, that he would need to respond eventually. So he did.

Rafe stepped closer to you, his tall frame requiring you to tilt your head back to look up at him. He grabbed each of your forearms, pulling them apart, forcing you to uncross them and lose your defensive stance.

“There’s a lot of things I’ve wanted to tell you,” he whispered in a low voice, sending a shiver down your spine. “And things I’ve wanted to show you.”

You feel your new-found courage faltering, but try your best to maintain your confident facade as you respond, “like what?” The small amount of air between you is so tense, you’re being pulled to him like a magnet. You know, you know, you shouldn’t do this. There is so much you need to talk about, so many things left unresolved. But then he licks his lips, an action that used to mean I want you in your own secret language. And fuck if you don’t want him too.

(chapter five)

a/n: y'all. not me making myself cry with this one. your support has absolutely blown me away and made me so happy to be posting my writing again!!! Doing my best with this taglist but if you asked and I left you off please let me know!! ch 5 on it's way!

taglist: @maybankslover @dark1paradise @lmg-stilinski24 @idkdudsworld @mimipanini09 @patis643 @readingsmuts @nymphetkoo @xoxohoneymoongirl @hangmanscoming @azrielsgirll @laniirackssss @rubixgsworld @sweetienans @dasguccier @brain-palacee @ymnizuh @wearemadeofstardust0 @rafesgiirl @thewalkingdeadsmut @themindofmoe @my-fabulousness-has-arrived @aerie717 @kickenkricken @st0rmyt @sage-burrow @adoreleeknw @mudisgranapat @sugarmelonwater @blue-greener-weiner @vilentia @sunny1616 @namelesslosers @groovycass @zizuras @lifeonawhim

#rafe cameron #rafe obx #rafe cameron x reader #obx fic #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x you #rafe x reader #rafe outer banks #obx smut #rafe cameron fluff #rafe fanfic #rafe x you #rafe fanfiction #rafe smut #rafe imagine #rafe fic #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron and you #rafe cameron and reader #rafe cameron and y/n

[purple-babygirl]

my bucky?

Pairing: Mafia!Bucky Barnes x f!reader (reader is little in the very beginning)

Word count: 7,390

Summary: Bucky's angel finally sees the hidden side of him.

Warnings: details of violence, kidnapping, getting shot, physical abuse by kidnappers, slapping, too much crying, angst

A/N: to all the nonnies that came to me once and asked "what if angel saw bucky beating someone up?" "what if angel gets kidnapped?", this is for you💜 i hope you have a good time with this one, loves x💜

~

Whenever he’d think of her, he’d think of jasmines. Soft, fragrant, pure-looking, fragile, beautiful jasmines. Like jasmines, she released her sweet perfume engulfed by the darkness of his night. Only he got to bask in her aroma. And like a jasmine in autumn, he’d fallen for her evergreen soul and he’d fallen hard.

Bucky knew she saw him through a pink lens. She ate up his lies like candy and although he felt bad, he knew it was for the best. He could visibly see her running out the door whenever he’d imagine someone opening her eyes to how cruel he actually was. It was selfish, but it was easier for him and safer for her this way. Better for both of them.

Luck wasn’t exactly his best friend though.

Bucky would never forget the look in her innocent, teary eyes as she watched him literally beat the life out of a man with all his might. He knew it was fairly stupid of him to do it in the back of his own garage, right next to his house where she was peacefully getting ready to call it a night. But he just couldn’t hold back when he saw the guy’s dumb face when his men brought him in.

“Miss?” She found Roseanne by the door, looking more nervous than usual.

She was shocked, no, terrified at the scene she couldn’t take her eyes away from. How and why was she even here in the first place?

~

Daddy said he’d be back for story time but he hasn’t been back yet. What was taking him so long?

She couldn’t fall asleep if his voice wasn’t lolling her to sleep. She couldn’t fall asleep if it wasn’t in his arms. Life without him just didn’t make sense anymore.

She got out of bed, slipped in her fluffy cat slippers and went on a little quest to find him. Bucky was always happy to see her so he’d forgive her for getting out of bed where he’d expected her to wait.

“Roseanne, have you seen my Bucky?” she asked with a smile.

“I think he’s busy right now, miss. You better wait in your room where it’s warm,” Roseanne tried to tempt her, using the cold as a good reason why she shouldn’t go outside where Bucky was.

The young woman looked distressed, like she was scared of something.

“What’s wrong, Roseanne? Is daddy okay?” she questioned the poor maid, her smile leaving her face.

“Yes, miss. Don’t worry. He’s just a little busy but he’ll be here soon.”

“Is he in the office?”

“I— I don’t know, miss. I think he is,” Roseanne lied.

She tilted her head suspiciously before running to the office to check it out, leaving Roseanne’s pleads for her to get back to the bedroom behind.

It seemed even more suspicious now that Bucky was nowhere to be seen in his office. It didn’t feel right and she had to find Bucky and make sure he was okay. Bucky always knew how to calm all her worries. He knew what to do and what to say.

Bucky protects her and is here for her.

But wait a minute, she didn’t hear his car leave. And if the car didn’t leave then Daddy was certainly in the house, she just missed him while looking.

She roamed the whole mansion, up and down, checking every room twice and she still couldn’t find her daddy.

Her mind was getting cloudier and she was getting more scared. Did daddy leave? Where would he go without letting her know that he’d be leaving? Why didn’t he kiss her forehead goodnight before leaving?

She made her way outside the main door and took sure steps to the large garage, once again taking no regard of Roseanne’s begging, confident in her smart train of thought.

When she arrived at the garage though, the pants she heard startled her to a halt as she ducked behind the black Range Rover.

Was that really Bucky? Her Bucky? Beating up a man to the point where his features weren’t recognizable anymore? That wasn’t possible. Her daddy was a sweetheart. He was the gentlest man she’s ever met and he wouldn’t hurt anyone like that. She knew he was feared because of his work, but he couldn’t kill anyone. Could he?

She peeked around and fell silent as a rock. The sight before her made her feel cold, leaving her poor mind perplexed.

On the first look, she couldn’t fathom what she was looking at. She wanted to look away. She did. But she couldn’t will her head to turn even just a little.

“How stupid do you have to be to think I wouldn’t know you were sent here to hurt my girl?”

A stronger pang hit her little heart when she realized this was happening because of her.

No, this was no bad dream though she’d hoped with all her heart that it was.

She’d made Daddy promise that he wouldn’t hurt anybody on her behalf. He’d promised to choose forgiveness if it was an option. It didn’t make any sense.

Was she too sleepy that she was seeing things? Did her little mind fall asleep without a story anyway and she was having a nightmare?

Sam had seen her first, wide eyes tearing up at the sight of her man smashing another’s face with his fist. He’d tried to tell Bucky, but it was too late. She’d already seen it all.

Those fingers that have ever so tenderly glided across her cheeks time and time again were hidden behind brass knuckles, covered in someone’s blood. That jaw that has only ever tensed from smiling too much around her was clenched, making him look scarier than she could’ve ever imagined him to be. His eyebrows were furrowed and his breaths heavy as he repeatedly and ruthlessly punched the man on the chair.

Her fear intensified when she’d recognized the beaten up man as their newest driver. She remembered him trying to repeatedly ask her if she wanted to go get ice cream with him when Bucky wasn’t home. She also remembered saying no like she was taught. She remembered Bucky promising to choose forgiveness if it was an option again and she saw him break his promise.

“Bucky, enough!” Sam pulled him away from the tied up guy, head nodding to the black vehicle.

Her head went dizzy when she thought of all the men she’d complained to Bucky about since they’d started their relationship. Have they all faced the same fate?

Who was this heaving, bloody-fisted beast before her? Did she ever know Bucky at all? Was he ever truthful about anything he’d told her or was it all just a big lie? How could she trust him with herself ever again? Who was her daddy really?

The walls around Bucky collapsed and he almost collapsed with them when he saw her face. She was there and she’d seen everything. His angel saw it all. His angel was scared. She was scared of him.

“Angeră?”

Her legs no longer wanted to hold her up once she heard his hoarse voice. The air was out of her lungs as she took slow steps back until she pressed herself to one of the grey walls behind her. The stuffie in her hands fell to the ground and with it her heart.

She wanted to run, but her cold body wouldn’t budge. Maybe if she could go back to the house right now, listen to Roseanne, stay in bed, and pretend this never happened, Bucky would miraculously come back with a perfectly healed, clean hand and they would peacefully have a cuddling session while his loving voice told her a story.

“Please don’t hurt me,” she begged, her voice above a whisper as she cowered away from him.

Bucky carefully walked closer, visibly watching her hands tremble. He raised his clean hand to caress her cheek like he always would when she needed him to calm her down.

He wasn’t expecting her to lean into his touch like she was used to, but it still shot daggers to his heart when she flinched, closing her eyes in fear and letting out the tiniest whimper.

“Angel, I’m not gonna hurt you,” Bucky’s broken voice had her heart clenching as she saw him trying to muster up a smile.

“Stay away from me,” she said in panic when he tried to take another step towards her.

“Angeră—”

“Please, Bucky, I’m sorry.”

She didn’t call him daddy or even her Bucky. She couldn’t.

“Baby, let me—”

She shook her head, running away from a shattered Bucky, almost tripping on her own feet.

“Go, we’ll take care of him,” Sam told him, patting his shoulder.

He watched her run as if she was escaping a wild lion, terrified and fearing for her life.

Bucky slammed his fist into the concrete wall where his love once leaned before slipping the brass knuckles off his probably broken fingers and hearing them clank on the ground. He rested both palms on the wall and let his head fall down as he breathed hard.

“Dragă, nu! Te rog, (love, no please)” Bucky begged, his hands grabbing her forearms to stop her from throwing more of her things into the suitcase.

Bucky ran like a mad man on the way to their house. He had no idea what he was going to say or how he was going to justify what she’d just witnessed him do.

She called him Bucky with glossed over eyes. She was bordering on little and he just gave her the trauma of her life. He had no answers to any possible question she might rightfully throw at him. Bucky only knew that he couldn’t lose her; she was the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

He busted through the front door and ran up the stairs only to be met with her frantically packing her things, fat tears soaking her face as she hiccupped out sobs.

“Please let me leave.” Her voice trembled and more tears left her eyes. His right hand had dried blood all over it and it made her skin crawl.

“Please don’t,” Bucky pleaded again, on the verge of crying himself.

“I’m really scared. Please don’t make me stay here,” she begged Bucky, trying to slip out of his grip.

“Angel, please believe me. I will never hurt you,” Bucky swore, his eyes brimming with tears.

“Angel, of course I love you! Please just stay and listen to me, baby.” Tears rolled down Bucky’s cheeks as he took a dress out of her hands before she could pack it.

“Did you ever really love me? Would you really never hurt me? Was anything you ever told me the truth?” Her voice was way too innocent as the questions left her trembling lips.

She didn’t even sound like she was blaming Bucky, she just sounded confused. Disappointed. Hurt.

“I wanna leave. Please let me leave,” she repeated, crying harder as she tried not to let herself crumble down on the floor of their bedroom.

“Angel, please don’t say that.” Bucky shook his head, holding onto her writs for dear life, “I can’t live without you, love. I can’t.”

She looked up at him and the look she gave him let him know she wasn’t little anymore.

Bucky despised himself for making her feel and think that way, “angel—”

“Why did you ever take me? Why did you bring me here?” She asked, the reproach hurting her too, “I didn’t know what love was before you. I trusted you. I trusted you with my heart, Bucky.”

She was saying everything that came to her mind, unable to keep her thoughts inside or else it felt like they might suffocate her. She was mad at herself for letting herself trust and love when she shouldn’t have.

“Are you used to doing this to people? Do you kill people, Bucky?” Her voice broke as she asked, already fearing the answer.

“Angel, please.”

“No, answer me.” Her eyebrows furrowed in sadness, anxious of the reply she was about to receive.

Bucky closed his eyes, not wanting to see her face when he told her his truth, “yes.”

“Yes.” Bucky nodded, hot tears leaving his closed eyes.

Her breath hitched at his answer, making more tears leave his eyes.

“D-Did you do this to the other guys I complained about before, too?”

“Did you kill them?” Her tone fell with her heart.

Bucky only swallowed, going dead silent at her question.

“Oh my god.” She cried, her knees almost giving out as she tried to get her arms free from his grip.

“No, no, angel, I only drove them out of town. They’re alive.” He assured her, leaving out the details about the probable permanent disabilities some of them left town with.

“Why?” She sobbed, her shoulders hurting from squirming in his grasp with no avail.

“They were bothering you.”

“So this makes it okay to kidnap them and beat them up?!” She screamed, her tears never drying up.

“I wanted to protect you,” Bucky whispered, his heart dropping at the realization of how his angel must see him now.

“Protect me from you then and let me go.” Her words shot daggers right into the mafia boss’ chest.

“I can’t believe I loved you so much.” She whispered, mostly to herself, lamenting her foolish, trusting heart.

“Angel, I can’t. You know I can’t.” He knew she was right, but he couldn’t let her leave.

She was his whole world; his life and everything good in it.

“Loved?” Bucky could hear his heart shattering.

“Loved,” she replied despite herself, knowing too well that she was lying.

Bucky finally let her arms go after her confirmation. He knew that if he tried to hold her back now she would only end up hating him. He would rather have her leave him than hate him. He wouldn’t be able to take it.

“I’ll tell the driver to get the car ready so he could take you to your grandma’s,” Bucky told her without looking up, wiping away his tears. For now.

She didn’t reply, and only continued shoving clothes into the bag.

“I just want you to know that I’ll always be here whenever you need me. I will always be yours, angel. Even if you’re no longer mine. I love you and I will love you until the day I die.”

But all of this was nothing compared to the fear that shot up her spine when she heard gunshots making contact with the car she was inside, forcing the driver to stop abruptly.

Bucky’s last words had her sobbing even harder as she fell to her knees the moment he left her alone in the room.

She didn’t want to leave him and she never saw a day like this one coming, but she knew it was only right that she did. They were different from the beginning and she was wrong to let herself live in a daydream for too long. She had no place in Bucky’s world.

~

The drive back to her grandma’s house was torture. The pain of being fooled could only be overruled by the pain of fearing the only man she’s ever loved. She couldn’t ignore the feeling that she was leaving a piece of her behind in the mansion that the car just drove away from. She knew that piece was her heart and she knew that she was most likely never going to get it back. It will forever remain with Bucky.

Her tears kept coming as she silently wept in the backseat.

Pathetic fallacy was at its highest and the skies were sobbing with her. It was cold and the roads were muddy, thunder hitting every now and then, making trees shudder where they were rooted.

She cried more knowing Bucky would no longer be there to hold her through thunderstorms.

The man and the guard next to him got out their own guns but it was too late for them to do anything as another couple of bullets were shot, going right through their heads. The driver fell lifeless, face first on the driving wheel and she felt her heart stop with his.

“Let me go for your own good,” she said, trying to keep her tone confident and her pain veiled.

Before she could even think of a route to run in, a bag was put over her head, her screams futile as she got violently dragged to another vehicle before it all went completely dark with a hit to the back of her head.

~

“I thought we were past that shit, babygirl. Three days didn’t teach you who’s in charge yet?” Lloyd Hansen, Bucky’s biggest enemy, asked her with a provocative smile.

She was in absolute agony.

She let oud a loud, pained scream, desperately trying to pull her arm from underneath his huge shoe.

They’d untied her an hour ago after she claimed she needed the bathroom, a guard on her tail as he led her through the abandoned building.

Once inside the toilet, she managed to pick up the upper part of the toilet seat. She gained the guard’s attention with a scream, going down on his head with the heavy ceramic piece as soon as he opened the door to check on her.

She managed to run as far as the hallway of the floor she was in before a very angry Lloyd grabbed her. She surprised him with a harsh slap across the face, taking the chance to run again when he froze for a second.

Lloyd got even angrier, stretching his leg and knocking one of her feet off the ground, making her fall over. He walked over her crawling body and evilly stepped on her right wrist.

“I can’t wait to kill you,” Lloyd said, not taking his foot off before he heard a snap and a loud screech from her.

Lloyd got hold of her hair, dragging her all the way back to the room where she was previously tied up.

He tied her to the same chair again, only this time one arm got the ropes while the other was left to redden and swell.

Now she was here, on the same chair, throwing empty threats as she’s almost given up hope that Bucky might find her.

“Aww, did you hear that, boys? Little slut right here is worried for our good,” Lloyd mocked her, laughter erupting and filling the room in response.

“You’re not getting out of here, babygirl,” he spat, his voice laced with venom, “this is where you die.”

“Let me go. I won’t say it again.” Her voice almost shivered with her heart at the end of her warning.

She was scared, and in so much pain, but she couldn’t let it show. She wouldn't even cry and was sweating like crazy from the ache in her dangling wrist. She was Bucky Barnes’ girl.

“You’re making the demands now? Not even a “please” to persuade me?” Lloyd moved his face closer to hers, slowly pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear with a smirk, “or do I have to heat you a bottle to get to meet your polite side?”

She felt her face go hot as her eyes filled with tears and she couldn’t stop herself from spitting in the bastard’s face, “fuck you”.

Next thing she knew was his rough hand slapping down hard on her cheek, making her go dizzy. Blood trickled out of her nose and down to her lips right after and she couldn’t hold back her tears this time.

She was tired. Terrified. She needed Bucky.

“Your filthy mouth isn’t anything short of your boyfriend’s, but don’t worry, if you don’t know how to be respectful to your masters I have ways to teach you, and believe me, I can’t wait to start your lessons.” Hansen smirked at her wrist before spitting back at her and leaving with everyone else.

She cried harder than she has ever before, tears and blood mixing. Her body was shivering and her arms aching from being tied up in the most uncomfortable position and smashed down under Lloyd’s boot.

There was no way out for here, was there?

She knew she was done for and she didn’t have any last wishes except for getting to tell Bucky that she loved him and that she will never stop loving him one last time.

She couldn’t even pay her pain or blood any attention when all she could think about was Bucky and how he would have never let anything like that happen to her.

She remembered his soft smile that only she got to meet. The way he’d lean forward to engulf her in a hug momentarily warmed her before the iciness of the empty room made her shiver again.

She didn’t dare linger on Bucky, however.

It’s been exactly 3 days and 21 hours since his angel left him and he still couldn’t believe it.

She left him. She left and now she was here in some old factory under some asshole’s mercy. She couldn’t escape the situation she was in no matter how hard she tried. She couldn’t give her mind any kind of relief. There was none. Before she realized, her head was falling forward and she was getting a temporary break from reality.

~

“Bucky, are you o—” Sam cut himself off when his sight landed on his best friend’s face.

Bucky’s eyes were red with yet to be shed tears, again.

His car never reached her grandma’s because his men were murdered on the way. His angel was no where to be found and neither was Bucky’s will to live.

He kept telling himself that it wasn’t true, that she was at work; that she would eventually come back and sleep in his arms again.

However, she didn’t even call. Didn’t even look at his multiple texts. She really was missing and Bucky couldn’t face it. Between denial and heart wrenching pain, he buried himself 9 feet under.

He’s looked everywhere, asked everyone, but still couldn’t find her. It was as if she’s disappeared, turned to air.

Bucky has deserted their bedroom ever since she walked out of the mansion, the bed still as messy as she left it after she dragged the sheets down with her packed bag. Every time Bucky would enter the room he would see her leaving him, so he’d stopped. That couldn’t be his last memory of her. He slept on the couch in his office now, if at all.

And soon enough, the Bucky he used to be when she was around was dead and another angrier, more violent and very impatient Bucky had replaced him. He was always mad, at everyone and everything. And he was drinking every night, sitting on his bar for as long as he could, just to get himself hammered enough to fall in a deep unconsciousness where he didn’t have her scared eyes invading his dreams.

Sam was seriously worried for him, but there was nothing he could do; no advice he could offer. Nothing would bring that Bucky back as long as his angel was gone.

Bucky’s wallowing and Sam’s overthinking were interrupted when Bucky’s phone rang, vibrating on the ceramic floor. Bucky quickly crawled over to it, hardly believing his eyes when he saw her name in the place of the caller ID.

“Angeră?” he answered, his voice hoarse from staying silent for too long.

“Awww, you call her angel?” the voice on the other side mocked.

“Who the fuck is this?” Bucky asked, standing up slowly as his anger and worry forced him to sober up.

“You know too damn well who this is,” Lloyd answered, his smile evident in his tone as he knew he had Bucky by the throat.

“Where is she?” Bucky asked immediately.

“Tied up somewhere cold.”

“I swear on my life, if you touch her—”

“Relax, she can take a few scratches,” he replied, chuckling as if it was a joke.

“You son of a bitch!” Bucky shouted, losing his mind at the mere image of his angel being hurt.

“I’d watch my mouth if I were you, Barnes,” he snarled confidently.

“What do you want?” Bucky asked through his teeth, just wanting to get to his girl as quickly as possible.

“Let me hear her voice.”

“No,” Lloyd chuckled.

“I wanna destroy you.” Hansen laughed.

“Let her go. She has nothing to do with this.” Bucky tried his best not to sound desperate but it was obvious that he was begging for his girl’s safety.

“That’s where you’re wrong, B. She has everything to do with this.” Lloyd walked into the room where she was with a smug smile.

“Let her go.” please

“If you sound so distraught just because I’d hogged her for a couple of days, imagine how you’ll be when I erase her off the face of the earth,” Hansen said, laughing at the thought of hurting Bucky this bad.

Her face toughened up at the realization that it was Bucky on the phone.

“If you do as much as touch a hair on her head, I’m gonna kill you and everyone you know,” Bucky promised, his heart hammering in his chest as he hastily started moving.

“I might’ve broken a bone or two, but that’s only because she was a bad girl.”

“You’re dead, Hansen. Fucking dead!” Bucky promised, throwing the bottle he was drinking from across the room.

“We’ll be waiting with popcorn.” He hung up on Bucky, laughing.

“He’s gonna kill you.” She smiled once he hung up, making Lloyd grab her hair.

She hissed, trying not to show she was in pain.

“Not if I kill him first, angeră.” Lloyd spat, throwing her head forward before leaving the room.

She was horrified at the thought of anything bad happening to Bucky, but she willed her heart to trust in him. She had no time to ponder but she was actually proud of the fact that Bucky could so easily end this awful, evil man and she couldn’t wait for him to do just that.

Still, she waited for him. Something inside of her told her Bucky would never abandon her, not even to death. So she waited. Waited with the longing of all the lovers that ever were until longing had exhausted her.

~

It was like a slow motion dream. Doors being kicked down, guns being fired and her Bucky entering the room with a man’s body held in his left fist by the neck.

Instead, Bucky found Hansen and smacked him so hard with his metal hand that a tooth flew out. He slapped him again and his nose was bleeding. They made eye contact one more time and she noticed the difference for the first time. That wasn’t Bucky. It wasn’t her Bucky. His eyes still softened for her but the hint of revenge in them was more dominant.

He doesn’t even talk; doesn’t negotiate. He doesn’t even ask for her to be released. He doesn’t need to.

His men were getting everything done. His only mission was to look for her now. His eyes met hers but he didn’t start walking towards her like she’d expected he would.

She thought she would be afraid meeting Bucky again after what she’d witnessed him do, but she actually didn’t. Not even a tiny bit.

She was rather happy, the feeling that she was safe again warming up her body so much that she’d started sobbing.

It was like no matter how long they were away from each other, they were still together, never estranged from one another.

Bucky was on his 40th slap/punch on the man’s bloody face when he noticed her crying. He temporarily threw the man’s tired body on the ground and rushed to his girl.

He kneeled before her shaking body, wanting nothing but to make sure she wasn’t hurt.

And she was.

She looked up and could still see the coldness in his eyes despite hers being blurred by tears.

“I missed you. Is my Bucky okay?” She asked, her voice drained but not scared like Bucky had feared and expected.

“Let’s get you home, angeră,” he replied, saving his answer for now as he noticed the finger marks on her cheek.

She nodded desperately, her tied hand reaching for him despite being behind her back.

“Stop right there,” Lloyd said, crocking his gun at Bucky.

“Bucky,” she whimpered, eyes glued to her man, her anchor.

“E în regulă, angera meu, (it’s okay, my angel)" Bucky replied, getting closer to her and sticking to her side.

“No, it’s not. He’s lying to you. Just like he’s lied to you about everything else,” the man chuckled.

“Shut up,” she whispered, trying to calm down her breathing.

“Give it up, Hansen. I beat you. Again and for the last time. You’re done.” Bucky racked the slide of his gun.

“He never loved you. Do you even know who he is most of the time?” Lloyd continued, not willing to give up until Bucky was reduced to nothing before him.

“Shut up,” she repeated, wishing her hands were free so that she could cover her ears with them.

“Do you have any idea about the other side of this man you gave yourself to you poor little thin—”

“Shut up!” She shouted with all her might, “don’t speak about him like that.”

“Do you even know what you’re defending?” Hansen yelled at her with a crazy, bloody smile on his face.

“I know,” she answered calmly, “I know everything.”

Bucky looked at her in surprise, not believing what he just heard. There was no way she knew. How would she know? How would she choose to stay if she actually knew?

“Oh so you know about frosty over here?” Hansen smirked, pointing to his head.

“That’s enough, Hansen,” Bucky warned, barely controlling himself.

“I do,” she answered once more, her answer shocking Bucky yet again.

“Angel?”

“It’s okay, Bucky. I promise.” She sincerely promised, making it hard for Bucky not to tear up in the middle of the room.

“Aww, how sweet—” Hansen cooed and in a second 3 of Bucky’s bullets were in his head, neck and chest before he could say anything else.

She gasped, closing her eyes and turning her face away from the body as it collapsed on the floor with a thud.

She didn’t notice that Hansen had landed a shot at Bucky before he collapsed and Bucky didn’t even flinch as a bullet literally made it through his right shoulder. He didn’t feel the pain. He didn’t care about anything but his angel.

She was the only thing he could see and hear. Her wounds were his pain more than his own.

Bucky wordlessly kneeled down and untied her quickly. His gaze was glued to her wrists for a second before he rubbed the one that wasn’t swollen with his smoother thumb.

“What happened?” Bucky asked, referring to her other wrist.

“I'm gonna need a doctor to look at it.” Was all she gave him for an answer.

He silently opened his arms for her and she threw herself in them without an ounce of hesitation, crying more now that she was home.

She was so scared she wouldn’t get to feel like this again. She let herself let go. She then closed her eyes and finally succumbed to the cozy darkness now that she was safe.

Instead, Roseanne looked at her with a teary smile, “welcome back, miss.”

She lost all sense of consciousness that she didn’t hear Bucky shoot the man’s dead body a fourth and a fifth time with her in his arms as he took another look at her wrists.

~

When she opened her eyes again, she was back in Bucky’s bed, but Bucky wasn’t by her side.

“Roseanne, I missed you so much,” she replied, unable to stop her own tears.

“Thank goodness you’re okay,” Roseanne said, breaking the hug to let her rest her back.

She invited Roseanne for a hug with her good arm as she noticed the other was in what looked like a cast.

Lloyd had broken her wrist.

“Mr. Barnes is in his office,” she told her while adjusting the pillow behind her when she noticed her eyes roaming the spacious room.

“Is he mad?” she asked, more tears gathering in her tired eyes.

“At himself, maybe.” Roseanne shrugged politely.

“Please help me go to him, Roseanne.”

“One more thing though.” Roseanne chew on her lip.

“What’s wrong?”

He didn’t know what he would’ve done with himself if something had happened to her and he kept blaming himself as he sat there with his right arm in a sling.

“Mr. Barnes has been shot.”

~

Bucky didn’t care to look when the door to his office opened, not knowing that she was awake and too busy wiping his tears of regret.

He’s been like this since he got her home and in his bed again. His tears were unstoppable now that he saw the results of his lifestyle on the one girl he chose and held closest to his heart. In fact, he cried more every time he took a look at her angelic figure tiredly sleeping in his large bed as the doctor patched up her broken wrist.

She was so small, so pure and so so good for this world. Her face was fainter and the spark was gone and he was sure Lloyd didn’t feed her. The fading finger marks she had on her cheek, the rope burns around her wrists and ankles and the cast around her forearm slashed new wounds at his heart.

“Bucky,” she called out faintly, her head and body still aching a little, heart dropping when she saw him with his arm hanging, “are you okay?”

He stood up and helped her sit in his chair, not sure if it was okay for him to carry her and sit her on his desk like he usually would.

He hastily wiped his eyes with his hand to look at his baby.

“Hi, angel,” he tried to say with a smile but his voice cracked as another tear escaped down his red cheek.

She surprised him by using his chair as a step to get on top of his desk, pointing to the chair for him to sit back down.

Bucky was on eye level with the marks on her ankles as she settled her bare feet on his lap.

What was he going to say now that she was awake? And most importantly, what was she going to say?

“My Bucky,” she could recognize the difference between this man and the man who started her rescue right away.

Bucky was stunned to see she could see it despite everything. He didn’t want her to ever find out about that side of him and it killed him even more that she caught the difference. How on earth did she find something like this out?

“All yours, angel.” He tried to compose himself, for her.

She couldn’t bare seeing him like this. It was like she’s forgotten about everything that happened before this very moment and all she could do was sit up and hold his face to lovingly wipe his sorrows away with her left hand.

It was enough time away from Bucky.

“I’m okay, Bucky. I’m okay,” she tried to reassure him, only making him cry harder as the dam broke when she rubbed his shoulder.

“Iarta-ma, iubita mea. Te rog. Iarta-ma. (forgive me, my love. Please, forgive me)" He sobbed, moving his lips to the palms of her hands to leave wet kisses all over the reddened skin.

“I’m okay, I swear,” she repeated, not knowing what to do or say.

“I forgive you. Please don’t cry; we’re good,” she said it to him in the kindest tone like it was the easiest thing to say.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you give me the chance to. Please, love,” Bucky cried like a child in her lap.

No, he couldn’t even remember a time when he cried like this as a child despite all that he’d gone through. He didn’t care though. He was going to do whatever it took for his angel’s forgiveness. He disappointed her, broke her heart and risked her life. Bucky was going to beg until the end of time if he could.

Bucky shook his head, crying harder, “no, you’re good. You’re too good to me, angel. Too good. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you. Never did.”

It sent a knife to his heart that she still sincerely called him her Bucky after everything she’s been through just because he was in her life; because he was selfish enough to bring her into his without a care.

He was still beating himself up over it. And how could he not when everything terrible that’s ever happened to her had happened because of him? He traumatized her more than anyone ever could have and he’s gotten her hurt time and time again.

This girl who’s made him feel like he could stand against the whole world all by himself with no fear just because she called him her lover. This girl who taught him loyalty, kindness and love and was now teaching him forgiveness. This girl was sitting before him with a broken wrist and heart telling him not to worry about it.

“Don’t say that, please. I’m alive right now thanks to you, my Bucky.” Her own tears rolled down her cheeks before she could stop them.

She loved him more than anything and wished she could make him see that. Oh how she was dying to make him see how safe and loved he made her feel.

“You mean you were taken and hurt thanks to me.” Bucky casted his eyes down, too ashamed to even look at her marked face.

“Bucky—”

“I get it if you still wanna leave me. And I will let you. I would never make you do anything you don't want. I just want you to know that I never lied to you about my love for you. You’ve been and still are the realist thing in my life, angel. Everything I said and did was true. I adore you.”

“Bucky, I—”

“I know it’s selfish to choose to speak about this now, but I’m afraid you’d leave before I get to tell you how in love with you I really am,” he sniffled, wiping his eyes again in vain before looking up at her, “I would die without you. Your love owns me, heart and soul. But.. if leaving me is what you choose.. and if leaving me will make you safe, I will accept it. I just need you to know that I’ve never lied to you. Angel, you are my whole life. You’re my one and only. I belong to you. I’m yours and I will die yours.”

She was speechless, too taken aback to stop herself from crying harder. Bucky’s never opened up to her about his feelings before. Not like this.

“Bucky, I love you,” she managed to whisper before he cut her off again. Before she could tell him that she felt the same way, that she was all his and will forever be his, that only him ruled over her heart.

“You don’t have to say that, angel—”

“Let me speak,” she demanded, her palm cupping his wet cheek as she grabbed him a tissue from his desk.

He nodded, biting his lip and bracing himself for the harshest ‘but’, preparing to get his heart ripped out of his chest.

“I don’t wanna leave you,” was the first thing she could get herself to say, desperately wanting to soothe his thumping heart.

Bucky’s eyes filled with more tears because he knew he didn’t deserve her.

“I forgive you. I want to tolerate this dangerous life because it lets me have you; be with you, which is the only place I ever wanna be.” She took a deep breath, her own tears continuing to fall as she wiped his.

“Baby,” Bucky whispers, hating to see her tears yet again.

“I knew you weren’t the nicest guy to others and I knew your line of business wasn’t the safest either. I just— it freaked me out when I actually got to see you inside of it. I couldn’t believe my eyes.”

Bucky lowered his head in shame again.

“In my head, especially when little, you’re incapable of hurting. In my eyes, you’re safety, Bucky. You’re home.” She brought his eyes back to hers with a hand on his cheek.

“I’m sorry, love,” Bucky was quick to apologize but she shook her head in reply.

“It might take me some time to get used to everything now that I know everything. But it didn’t affect my love for you, Bucky. Not one bit. I lied. I was so scared I would die without getting to tell you that. I still loved you more than ever even in that moment with your fist against another man’s cheek, and I guess that scared me even more. Because it was unlike the me I thought I knew. But this me, right here, is madly in love with you and she doesn’t care about anything other than being by your side for ever.”

“Angel,” Bucky sobbed, holding her hand to his lips, leaving appreciative, wet kisses on her palm, “you won’t regret it, baby, I promise. This is the last time you get hurt. I would die before I let anything like this ever happen to you again.”

“I know, and I trust you, my Bucky. If you’d give me time and if you’ll have me, I wanna be with you every moment of my life, forever.” She couldn’t not throw herself inside his arms, needing the closeness to reassure her this was real.

“I love you so much,” he whispered, holding her on his lap as tight as he possibly could.

“Lucky me,” she whispered in his shoulder.

Bucky felt himself coming alive again at the smell of jasmines in her hair and the feel of her warm body in his hold. She was a piece missing from him and now that she was back, he wasn’t going to waste a second without worshiping the steps she walked.

“I know I might need a while, but that doesn’t change anything. I still love you with my whole heart, Bucky,” she reassured, squeezing him to her even more.

“Take all the time you need, angel. I’ll be right here. I’ll wait forever if I have to.”

“Promise me something though.”

“Anything.”

“No more killing people on my behalf.”

“What if they have a gun pointed at you?”

“Okay, only in that case then because it’s self-defense.”

“I promise.” Bucky smiled, sliding her hair behind her ear before kissing her forehead.

She pressed her forehead to his with a smile, “thank you.”

“We’re injury buddies now,” she joked when they pull away making Bucky laugh out loud for the first time in days.

“Does it hurt, angel?”

"Mine doesn't hurt, you?" He kissed her covered wrist gently.

"Does it hurt?"

They both asked at the same time, making each other laugh.

“Not as much anymore,” she replies, not wanting to remember how much it hurt when she was tied up in the cold room.

“Let’s eat so you could take your pain meds.” Bucky offered her his metal hand and she took it with her good one with a content smile.

~

Everything was going to be okay again. She knew it. Her hand was back in Bucky's and there was nothing their love wouldn't be able to pass. This might not be the Bucky she got in a relationship with, but it was the Bucky she wanted and was going to continue it with.

He was still and was always going to be her bucky.

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[sinsirellaxx]

This request is so middle school core but I'm such a sucker for this trope, could you do how the toxic Slytherin boys would react to either them finding out they were a bet or you finding out you were a bet? I <3 your writing

Slytherin boys – You find out you are a bet/They find out they were a bet

Warning: Toxic Slytherin boys and physical abuse (Tom Riddle), so please proceed with caution. Otherwise have fun reading!

Also: Not proofread.

A/N: Thank you for your kind words! Honestly, same – I love those tropes that are all over TikTok. 🙈 Glad you enjoy my writing!

Mattheo …

… clenches his jaw when you glare at him with tears in your eyes, angry at himself and angry at whoever told you about the stupid bet. He watched you shake your head in disbelief before taking something out of your pockets. It was the money they had bet on. You flung the money in his face before storming out of his room. Mattheo just closed his eyes, his anger reaching a new peak as the money made contact with his face. How dare you throw something into his face?

He wouldn’t bother running after you. You’d be crawling back to him in no time.

Theodore …

… scoffs at your accusations. “Do you really believe them over me? Do you have that little trust in me?” He raises his brows, mock hurt all over his face. Theodore would make you feel bad for doubting his love for you. If his friends were the ones who told you, he’d have to talk with them. If your friends somehow found out and told you, he’d make you question their loyalties. “Don’t you see, bella? They’re trying to rip us apart. You know your friend still has a crush on me, don’t you? I didn’t want to tell you, because I don’t want to see you hurt, but it is true, cara mia.”

And just like that, you start apologizing to him. With a heavy sigh, Theodore pulls you into his arms, holding you close to his body. “I forgive you. But please – never doubt my love for you again.”

Bullet dodged.

Lorenzo …

… rubs his hands over his face as he paces around in his room. You have been trying to talk to him – apologize for your wrongdoings – but he simply wouldn’t listen. Lorenzo had already known about the bet – he was the mastermind behind it after all. He had been watching you for a while but did not know how to approach you without appearing too needy. So, instead he told his friends to make a bet with you – the goal: You have to seduce Lorenzo Berkshire. You had actually agreed and given it your best. Enzo had enjoyed the advances you had made; all the attention you had given him.

And this whole drama of him ‘finding out’ and you tearfully apologizing was just a positive side effect. It was his way to ensure your emotional dependency on him.

“How could you do this to me?” He cried softly as he slid down the wall, face in his hands as he forced himself to cry. You immediately ran to him, falling to your knees in front of him as you tried to pry his hands from his face, apologies falling from your lips like a mantra.

When you finally uttered the magical words, he had hoped for he bit back a smirk before removing his hands from his tear-stained face. Please, I’ll do anything you ask of me!

Draco …

… stared at you in disbelief. How did you find out? Raking his hand through his hair he stared at you silently. For once, he didn’t know what to say. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Because he knew that nothing he said would make it better. After a minute of silence your tears finally fell, your bottom lip trembling at the betrayal. How could you do this to me.

Your voice came out in a broken whisper before you walked out of his room, leaving the blonde to watch you leave with sad eyes.

Blaise …

… was honestly impressed when he found out about the bet. He never would have guessed you to engage in silly things such as bets. He’d underestimated you. Blaise would tell you that he knew – he’d let everything play out and watch your reactions whenever he mentioned words such as ‘bet’, ‘honesty’ and ‘loyalty’.

“I love you so much, babe. I really appreciate your honest and good-natured heart.” Blaise whispered against your lips before passionately kissing you. When he wanted to pull back, you followed him with your lips not wanting to part yet – not ready to look him into his eyes yet. You were obviously ashamed for hiding something from your boyfriend and Blaise knew. Oh, he knew, and he would enjoy watching you squirm and do anything to please him. And if you ever got mad at him for something or denied him any request, he’d throw the truth into your face and make you pay.

Tom …

… is deeply disappointed when he finds out. The more he thinks about it, the angrier he feels. And when you finally walk through the door of his dorm – he is filled with blinding rage.

“I didn’t think you’d stoop so low … how pathetic.” He grit out, his steps slow as he walked towards you with a dark look on his face. You stared at him with confusion written all over your face, your eyes wide with fear as he pressed you against the wall, trapping you between his arms.

“I can’t believe I didn’t find out sooner – and don’t you dare deny it.” He spat, clenching his jaw as he penetrated your mind. Your eyes widened when he found what he was looking for. He knew.

“Yes. I know.” He murmurs, dragging his nose from your cheek to your ear – and before you know it, one of his hands moves to your throat, fingers gripping tight as he smashes your head against the door.

“Time to reap what you sow.”

#slytherin boys #toxic slytherin boys #slytherin boys imagine #slytherin boys headcanons #draco imagine #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco x reader #theodore nott fanfiction #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott imagine #lorenzo berkshire #lorenzo berkshire x reader #lorenzo berkshire imagine #enzo berkshire x reader #enzo berkshire #mattheo riddle imagine #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader #blaise zabini x reader #blaise zabini #tom riddle #tom riddle x reader #angst

[adventuringblind]

Defensive Maneuvers

Max Verstappen x Leclerc!reader

Genre: fluffy with a pinch of angst

Request: yes! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Requests are open for Max, Charles, Oscar, and lando. Don't hesitate to send me ideas!

Summary: The normally soft-spoken leclerc sister becomes the out spoken girl her family knows. What triggers this change? Max Verstappen and his ridiculous father.

Warnings: Jos being Jos, mentions of verbal abuse, mention of physical abuse if you squint, *best Daniel Riccardo voice* nooooot prooooofreaaaad

Notes: written in third person . I am neither the youngest nor have brothers, so I tried my best to get an accurate relationship depiction. Ironically, I'm the oldest with sisters.

Masterlist

The Leclerc sister is known by her brothers as the baby of the family. Even Arthur, who is only older by mere minutes, holds it over her head that she is the youngest.

The constant teasing from her siblings made her learn how to use her quick wit. Verbal comebacks becoming her specialty at a young age. Because of her ability to be polite in public, no one suspects what she is truly capable of.

Her brothers tease her regardless but she lets them. Her sharp tongue making them regret not holding theirs.

Pierre had made this mistake once. Mainly under the influence of Charles convincing him to say something at her expense. The verbal lashing he received in response had him apologizing profusely. Charles doubling over in laughter as her practically lectured his friend. Needless to say, Pierre has yet to make this mistake again.

Charles was by far her favorite sibling. Lorenzo had a habit of bossing her around and Arthur shared a room with her. She loved all her brothers, but felt the most connected to Charles. She followed him around like a lost puppy some days. Ready to cheer him on at every Karting race.

This was where she first encountered Max.

After the race, she went to go congratulate Charles for a race well done. He was third but all the Leclerc’s were proud nonetheless. On the way over to him, she saw Max. He was at majority of the races Charles was at. The two had never talked formally, but they were aware of the others existence.

Something about the situation she was witnessing didn’t felt right. Max was standing with his dad, his knuckles turning white from gripping his second place trophy so tightly.

As she walked by, she almost fell over at hearing how his father was treating him. The slander leaving his mouth over his son placing second almost made her tear up. She was only nine at the time, but even she knew whatever was happening was wrong.

So she steeled herself, took a deep breath, and entered into the conversation. She walked up and tapped Max’s shoulder. He jumped at the feeling, not having seen you coming.

“Hello Max, Charles is busy with family but wanted to congratulate you.” She smiled warmly at the Dutch boy. Obviously taken off guard.

Jos turned to her, also not knowing how to handle this. “Not much to congratulate,” he sneered. The young Leclerc narrows her eyes at him. Not realizing how brash the older man is.

���What do you mean, Mr. Verstappen? There is plenty to congratulate.” She questions back, her tone mildly snarky. Obviously having no intention of backing down. The older man didn’t even bothering responding to her. He turns on his heels and walks away. Yelling back to Max “I’ll be in the car.”

Max looks between the girl who he’d never spoken too and his father. Unsure of what he should do in this situation. Thankfully the girl notices this. “Sorry for stepping in. He sounded unreasonably upset.” She apologized with a huff.

“Thanks actually- for what you did.” Max stutters out. No one had ever taken the time to defend him.it was an unusual feeling. He knows he can’t stay long though. “I should go. I’ll see you around- I guess.” Then he runs off. Waving as he goes.

She had told her mother about it. The older woman explaining what was probably happening at home. It made her sad for the Dutch boy. Having to hear that it happens more often then just races.

This was only the first encounter with Max. The Leclerc sister made it a point to find Max after every race and praise for a job well done. Much to his fathers dismay. She knew she couldn’t stop what was happening, but maybe her words would help ease some of the hurt.

The girls mother occasionally helped out with her quest. Walking with her daughter to find the Dutch and congratulate him.

It became a routine. One that Max was starting to enjoy. The seeking out now being reciprocated. The two even finding time to converse about things aside from racing.

Max’s father had started to become increasingly more annoyed at this fact. Pulling Max away from you. Spitting vulgar words at a child that wasn’t even his own.

Pascals had made a note that if she was directly insulting to Mr. Verstappen, it might make things harder for Max. She still made her snarky remarks and threw insults at the older man, but only loud enough to make Max chuckle.

Her brothers eventually caught on. Charles and Arthur saying nice things to Max in passing. Charles was more strained, but was trying nonetheless.

The brothers began teasing her relentlessly as they grew up. Her fondness for Max only growing. Her quick tongue seemed to falter when they brought up Max. She held a soft spot for him, as he did for her.

When Max and Charles were in formula 2, she was incredibly proud of both of them. She divided her time equally between the two boys. Still always making sure to sing Max’s praises loud enough for everyone to hear.

Originally she though Max’s father would cool down and maybe start to see how talented he is, but she was mistaken. The older man somehow seemed to get more competitive.

It was increasingly easier to talk to each other now since the two both have phones. She comforted over video calls as he ranted about something stupid his father said to him. He listens to her talk about her fathers battle with illness. The two became inseparable. Being the reason for each others smiles on most occasions.

Then formula 1 came. Charles driving for Ferrari and Max for Redbull. The youngest Leclerc baskets in both boy finally making it. Years of hard work paying off.

Max no longer lived at home. Having moved to an apartment in Monaco. This meaning the two could spend more time together. The, now young woman, takes pride in that fact she convinced him to move closer to her.

She’d become more outspoken recently. Opening defending both her brothers and Max. Most people knew not to say anything if she was within earshot.

The year is now 2021 and Max and Lewis are both fighting hard for the championship title. Max was visible upset at the end the race. Second place wasn’t enough if Lewis is going to keep winning.

The young woman immediately trying to find him after the podium celebration. She had seen the look in his fathers eyes and is now frantically trying to beat him to Max. Charles and Arthur found her in a frenzy. Confused because she is usually calm, her sarcastic remarks and opinions given so level that you’d think it was rehearsed.

“I need to find Max.” She explained, panting from running around the paddock. They decided three sets of eyes would be better then one and split off in different direction.

She was so caught up in her search for Max that she hadn’t noticed her phone buzzing in her pocket.

A text from Charles reading: In the back of the Redbull garage. It doesn’t look good.

She took off running spotting snarled waiting for her outside. She could hear the commotion from Jos.

“I was going to try and break it up but they won’t let me in.” Charles gestures to the wall of Redbull engineers. She however, wasn’t going to let them stop her from getting to Max. She shoved her way through with determination and surprising strength. Immediately settling herself between the two Dutch men.

Jos had turned his anger towards her now. His finger getting dangerously close to her face. “You are part of the problem.”

She crosses her arms over her chest. “The only problem currently is you.”

“My son has been distracted because of you. His hopes for a title this year not getting any better because of you.” He spits. She can feel his breath on her face.

“Personally, I think Max is a good racer because he wants to be. Not because of you or me helping or distracting.” She lets a smirk form on her lips. “Your just angry because your finally running out of things to berate him about. Hard to be angry when Max is better then you.”

Jos’ face had turned red. She could feel Max’s anxiety increasing from behind her.

Then everything happened in slow motion. She hadn’t noticed Jos’ hand raised above her. Charles moved faster then anyone. Shoving Jos to the side, his hand not getting to connect with anything but the nearest wall.

He was raging now. Thrashing like a child who didn’t get their way. Pierre and Charles who had somehow managed their way inside kept a firm grip on him as Christian ran to get security.

The Youngest Leclerc. The one who spent her days defending Max in secret, keeping the haters at bay never letting Max go a day without know he is loved. Finally she turned around and stared deeply into his eyes. Blue irises glasses over from tears he’d been holding back.

She embraces him warmly. His face buried into the crook of her neck. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner.” She apologized softly.

Max pulled away and gives her a confused look. “On the contrary, I think you were right on time.”

Security had come and grabbed Jos to escort him out of the paddock. Charles and Pierre now finding then tension between the two heating up. The two boys giggling. “I swear if you two don’t kiss or something I will no play nice with Max.” Charles laughed.

She didn’t care about the teasing. Just taking time to comfort Max. The two still conjoined in a loose hold.

Max leans his forehead against hers. “You know I’ve loved you for awhile right?” He smiles.

“You would be stupid to not.” She remarks. Max shaking his head at the remark. “But I have to agree with Charles on this one.”

Max doesn’t hesitate any longer. Placing his lips on hers. Pulling her as close to him as he can. He then pulls away, his lips still close to hers and voice barely a whisper.

“Thank you, for protecting me all these years.”

#x reader #fanficion #f1 fic #formula one #max verstappen #super max #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x y/n #max verstappen x you #maxy #orange army #jos verstappen #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen f1 #charles leclerc x reader #pascale leclerc #Leclerc sister reader #angst #i would protect him with my life #redbull #redbull racing #red bull f1 #pierre gasly #racing #karting #arthur leclerc #protective #snarky #sarcastic #reader insert

[cherryrainn]

I'LL NEVER LEAVE .

; pairing ; adam x reader

; note ; request i got on wattpad!

; warnings ; manipulation, emotional abuse, gaslighting, deceit, loss of loved ones

adam wouldn't stop asking you to go on a date with him.

he had been asking you incessantly, his golden eyes pleading with you to give him a chance, but something deep within you hesitated.

you knew adam's reputation – his arrogance, his ego. and while there was a part of you that was intrigued by him, another part of you just didn't wanna deal with all of that.

"come on, babe, just one date. that's it!" adam pleaded, his voice carrying a hint of desperation.

you sighed, trying to keep your composure as you declined once again. "i'm not interested."

his golden eyes widened, a mix of disbelief and frustration crossing his face. "not interested? but i'm the first fuckin' man, the perfect one! you won't find anyone better!"

you shook your head, dismissing his claims. "it's not about that, adam. i just need some space."

but adam, fueled by his arrogance, persisted. "space? space? you're in heaven bitch!; you're like surrounded by it! just give me a chance."

every time he asked, you found yourself declining, citing one excuse after another. you couldn't bring yourself to say yes, couldn't bring yourself to take that leap of faith.

defeated by your consistent refusals, adam's expression shifted from desperation to anger. "fine, whatever, whore. if you don't want the perfect date with the perfect dick, your loss," he spat, his words dripping with arrogance.

then he walked off, saying a bunch of stuff like "i don't even fuckin' care" even though he clearly did.

after that, days passed, and the people you loved were starting to vanish. it started small, a friend here, a friend there.

at first you just shrugged it off, thinking they were busy or something.

but soon, it became a mass disappearance. everyone you loved was gone. and strangely, adam was nowhere to be found.

alone and desperate, you wandered the empty halls of heaven, the once celestial glow now replaced by an unsettling void. everyone was still there yes, well. mostly everyone. the people you loved and cherished were still gone. and that made it feel empty.

desperation gnawed at your spirit, driving you to seek solace in the one place you never thought you'd turn to – adam.

he had disappeared along with the others, his absence leaving a void that echoed with unanswered questions. but in your desperation, you sought him out, clinging to the faint hope that he held the answers you so desperately sought.

you found yourself standing outside a familiar door – adam's. hesitant, you knocked, the sound echoing in the empty corridor.

the door creaked open, revealing adam's masked face. there was a calculated innocence in his eyes as he feigned surprise. "well, if it isn't my favorite bi-.. angel! what brings you here?"

your desperation spilled out in a torrent of words. "everyone's gone, adam. i can't take it anymore. i need someone, and you're the only one left."

adam's mask of indifference faltered for a moment, replaced by a calculating gaze. "well... shit! come in," he replied with a mocking smirk, inviting you into his space.

you poured out your frustrations, ranting about the loneliness that had consumed you. "i thought i could handle it, but it's too much. i need someone, adam. i need you. you're the only one that i'm actually acquainted with that's still here." you cried, tears practically waterfalling.

his golden eyes gleamed with satisfaction as he let you vent, the mastermind behind the disappearance of everyone you held dear.

with a gentle sigh, adam allowed you to hug him, relishing in the success of his twisted plan. he held you close, his presence a balm to your wounded soul. "you'll never be alone again, y/n," he whispered, his words a promise wrapped in deceit. "i'll never leave you like those dumbasses did. i'll always be here for you."

and as you buried your face in his chest, you couldn't help but believe him, the echoes of his manipulative words drowning out the whispers of doubt that lingered in the recesses of your mind.

in that moment, you were his – bound to him by the chains of manipulation. and as adam held you in his arms, you knew that you were lost, a pawn in his twisted game of love and betrayal. but, you couldn't bring yourself to care

he would never admit to his sins. he would never confess to the darkness that lurked within his soul, for in your eyes, he was the perfect angel, the first man, and he would never hurt you like everyone else did.

#ADAM #adam hazbin hotel #adam x reader #adam hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #y/n #reader insert #x reader #request #yandere #hazbin hotel

[etherealising]

chapter three | lavender vanilla

↢ previous chapter | next chapter ↣

pairings: platonic!mikey berzatto x fem!reader | carmen berzatto x fem!reader | platonic!richie jerimovich x fem!reader

summary: christmas dinner commences, you and carmy put your differences aside for a night.

warnings: language | angst | fluff | mentions of cancer | mentions of death | lee’s geriatric ass | carmy trying his best | donna’s mental health | talk of drug abuse | let me know if i missed anything please!!!

wc: 6.9k

The sound of laughter could be heard through the door of Donna’s bedroom. The two women occupying it caught up with each other like no time had passed at all. You were laying down on the end of Donna’s bed, elbow propped up so your hand could hold your head up. Tiff laying in front of you sitting up slightly from you adjusting her pillows when you had first made an appearance in the room.

“Wait so Richie actually blew up your mom’s microwave?” The words coming out between the laughs that had been wracking Tiffany’s body. Eyes glistening with unshed tears as she listened to your account of the story.

You sat up rapidly head nodding to confirm Tiff’s question, “Exactly, Mikey volunteered to pick my mom and I up from her chemo appointment, and Richie bless his soul was trying to make dinner for us.” You paused as you couldn’t stop giggling at the memory, “He couldn’t find any plates, so he put fucking foil in the microwave, and by the time we got home the house was full of smoke and there were scorch marks on the wall.” You couldn’t help but to lean over clenching your stomach at the belly aching laugh the memory induced. Tiff doing no better hand gently cradling her bump as she tried to catch her breath.

Finally getting enough air into her lungs Tiff spoke up, “Wha-What did your mom do?” She searched your eyes waiting to hear your explanation. Your own laughter had finally settled down allowing you to finish your story, “Absolutely nothing! My mom was so sweet on Richie he could’ve burnt the house down and she would’ve thanked him for it!” The laughter in the room took over once again as the two of you imagined how much your mom’s little crush inflated Richie’s ego.

The two of you had finally calmed down sitting in the ambience that a memory from your younger years left behind. Tiff did her best to sit up, careful not to move too quickly in case it induced a bout of nausea. Her hands reached out gently clasping yours in her embrace, “I’m sorry she couldn’t be here with us today.” The slight squeeze she sent your hands conveying the raw emotion she felt, the small sad smile gracing her lips doing their best to comfort you.

You nodded, sending your own small smile her way, eyes quickly leaving hers to dart around the room, not comfortable enough to see the earnestness in her blue eyes. You cleared your throat trying to ground yourself, “Ahem, yeah…yeah it's a little weird, first Christmas without her and everything.” You let out a pathetic little laugh doing your best to not let the gloomy feeling settle over the room.

You squeezed Tiff’s hands back finally finding her eyes again, “Speaking of, she actually made something for you-well for the baby actually.” You motioned to Tiff’s stomach trying to move the conversation along to something much more light-hearted. “I’ll just go get it yeah, I want you and Richie to open it together.” Tiff nodded eyes misting at your mom’s selflessness in what must have been a debilitating time for her.

Smiling at Tiff one last time you quickly got up to make your way downstairs to where Carmy had hang your coat and bag. You made your way down stairs laughter and loud voices coming from the direction of the living room. You made it to the closet where your belongings were quickly grabbing your keys out of your tote bag you debated slipping your coat on before ultimately deciding it wouldn’t be necessary. You could hear Mikey’s voice as you made your way out the door, he and Richie recounting one of their many tales. You quickly slipped through the door making sure it closed behind you as to not let any cold air in.

Rushing to your car you popped the trunk reaching for the Christmas themed gift bag. You reached up to shut your trunk wanting to hurry and get back inside when your eyes landed on the large matte black box sitting in your trunk. A matching black bow and envelope atop of it, the white ink that spelled out Carmy’s name glaring back at you.

You let go of the trunk letting out an exasperated sigh. You hand planned on personally giving him the gift and watching as he opened it, wanting to see his reaction. But as your brain thought about the argument you had with him earlier, that hope quickly dwindled. You sat the gift bag on top of the box before reaching to pick up the box itself, shutting your trunk and locking your car. The sound of another car door closing caught your attention, Pete making his way towards you from across the street, hand going up in a little wave to greet you. You smiled racing your hand holding your car keys to return his greeting.

Deciding to wait for him so you could walk in together, your eyes took in the aluminum tray grasped in his hands, “Oh shit.” The expletive left your lips as Pete finally took his place by your side, his wide goofy grin drawing your eyes, he balanced the tray in one hand to give you a side hug that you willingly leaned into. “Baby you look great! How’ve you been?” You smiled, seeing Pete before re-entering the house was like a breath of fresh air. The two of you began your trek up the sidewalk.

“Doing my best Pete. Um what cha got in your hands there?” Your head nodding to the tray held in his hands. Pete followed your vision before smiling back at you “Tuna casserole! Couldn’t come empty handed you know.” Pete’s happy go lucky energy bringing a small smile to your face, the two of you stopped before entering the house. You adjusted the box in your hands, free hand reaching out to gently squeeze Pete’s bicep.

“Oh you poor kind soul, they’re gonna fuck you up in there.” The words cause Pete’s smile to falter as you send him a toothy one of your own before walking through the door and holding it open for Pete to walk through. As you both walked through the front entrance you caught the tail end of what sounded to have been a hostile conversation, Pete stealing the show by making his presence known. You had half the mind to leave Pete to defend himself, but a part of you would’ve felt bad for letting someone as sweet as Pete take the heat alone. You walked around Pete sitting on the arm of the chair Mikey was sitting in, his arm going to wrap around your waist unconsciously.

“You know it’s seven fishes, right Pete?” Mikey’s question drew the rest of the room's attention to the tray Pete was still happily holding. The room burst with voices as almost everyone took turns berating Pete. You leaned back slightly so you weren’t blocking Mikey’s view before turning your head in Richie’s direction hoping to gain his attention.

You reached behind Mikey’s back to pinch Richie’s arm his eyebrows shooting up an offended look on his features as his head turned to you, “What the fuck was that for Baby? Pete’s the one with the eighth fish.” You rolled your eyes hand grabbing the gift bag from its place on the box, maneuvering around Mikey’s imposing body before handing it off to Richie, “Merry Christmas Richie, its for you and Tiff so don’t open it without her,” You scolded raising your eyebrows to further cement your message. “It's from mom, she um, she didn’t get to finish it so I apologize if my knitting skills didn’t do it justice.” The last part quickly added on in a joking tone as you noticed Richie’s eyes taking on a solemn look to them.

He gently grabbed the gift bag out of your hand, a slight nod sent in your direction as he gave your hand a comforting squeeze. “Thank you Baby, means a lot.” You smiled back quickly, turning back to the conversation, not wanting to get caught up in any more unwanted emotions.

Carmy’s voice breaking through the onslaught of shit Pete was getting, “Hey, family. Come on, let’s sit. Okay dinner’s ready, alright.” Your eyes connected with his baby blues as you subtly tried to adjust the envelope sitting on the box so the bow could hide the recipient’s name. Your gaze was snatched away from Carmy as your attention was directed to Mikey who was whispering in your ear. Carmy did his best not to let the sight bother him, Mikey drilling his ass in the pantry earlier about what he accused the two of you of. It was hard not to though when you had so comfortably leaned into Mikey’s body whispering your own secret back into his ear, the sight of Mikey’s thumb rubbing gentle circles in the material of your shirt that was covering your waist causing Carmy’s head to spin, quickly removing his attention to Pete to ease his insecurities.

You hadn’t noticed Carmy’s eyes glued to you as you exchanged hushed whispers with Mikey, “What the fuck did you end up buying him?” Mikey’s words caressed your lips as his free hand tapped against the present sitting in your lap. You followed his hands before whispering back to him, “Something that I’m not even sure was worth saving up like 10 paychecks for this shit.” You scoffed feeling a bit miffed about the present since you and Carmy were still on uncertain terms. Mikey nodded a smile gracing his lips as he softly bumped his head into yours, “He’ll appreciate it Baby, I know he will.” You sent him a hopeful smile, you may have been annoyed with the youngest Berzatto and his antics, but you really did want him to like the gift.

“Yo Baby, Baby.” Your eyes found Carmy’s as he called for your attention, “What is that? What the fuck is Pete holding?” You quickly looked at Pete feeling bad that he was on trial before finding Carmy’s eyes again, a small smile finding your lips as you sent a shrug in his direction, not wanting to be the one to rat Pete’s good intentions out.

Carmy modded lips pursing as he wiped his hands down his face as he turned his attention to Steve knowing he’d give him a straight answer, “You’re gonna be upset, but his heart was in the right place, Carm. It’s a tuna casserole.” The slight flush you could see creeping up Carmy’s neck indicating the toll this mishap was taking on him.

You leaned into Mikey more, settling into a more comfortable position as you drowned out the rest of Pete’s trial. You were ready for the day to be over and you hadn’t even eaten dinner yet, you could feel your eyes slowly drifting shut as Mikey’s warm body pressed into your side, each rise and fall of his broad chest pulling you into the purgatory before sleep and consciousness.

The sound of Sugar’s voice jumping onto the tuna casserole bandwagon roused you from the little peacefulness you were beginning to find. You watched with drowsy eyes as she snatched the dish from his hands presumably disposing of it, you softly pat Mikey’s thigh before removing yourself from your seat intending to find somewhere to drop Carmy’s present off at. You stopped in the threshold of the door sending Pete a small smile, “If it makes you feel better Donna threatened to beat my mom’s ass when we showed up with collard greens and baked Mac n cheese our first Christmas here.” You gave a soft pat to his elbow hoping the anecdote helped him feel someone better.

You left the living room, eyes looking around for a practical spot to leave Carmy’s present. You debated leaving it on the small side table in the hallway, but you weren’t too sure if anyone would give it a second thought. Carmy stopped in the doorway of the kitchen as he found you standing in the hallway, the matte black box still clutched in your hands. He had half a mind to hide out in the kitchen until you left but knew he’d probably get shit from his mom about it.

He cleared his throat, gaining your attention as he took a few steps to lessen the distance between you. His hand raising up to scratch the back of his neck, eyes not meeting yours as he prepared himself to interact with you, “Ahem, I uh I overheard what you said to Pete. Is your mom doing okay? Was the trip out here too much for her?”

You stared at Carmen eyes cold and unwavering, you knew his question held no malicious intent but it still felt like a slap to the face. The silence from you finally caused Carmy’s eyes to meet your own, the soft color of your irises giving nothing away.

“She died eight months ago Carmen.” Carmy felt like his whole world had stop the voices in the background drowinng out as the bubble the two of you were standing in was filled with nothing but silence.

Carmy’s arm raised his head forcefully running through his hair, head darting to the side to compose himself. “Shit Baby, I’m sorry I-I didn’t know.”

You nodded eyes straying to the present in your hands swallowing the lump in your throat, “How would you?” An out of place laugh leaving your lips as you looked at Carmy, the kicked puppy expression on your face making you feel a little bad. Letting out a sigh you shook your head, “I’m sorry Carmy, that wasn’t fair.”

Carmy copied your motions, his own hand shaking as he reached out a gentle unsure hand to lay on top of yours, “No no, uh I think I deserved that one.” His boyish smile doing its best to offer you some form of comfort in this moment. Your eyes dropped to his mouth, the smile you hadn’t seen in so long unconsciously causing one to appear on your own lips, head dropping to the calloused hand gently on yours.

The hand quickly retreated to its owner, Carmy not wanting to push anymore boundaries, eyes looking at the box one more time a scapegoat from this conversation, “Uh so what’s in the box?” His hand gestured to the rather large decorative box that looked quite fancy now that he could see it up close.

You let out a shy chuckle, “It's uh actually for you. Merry Christmas.” You held out the box to him urging him to take it out of your hands. His eyes shot down to the box, surprised you had even thought about him, “If you don’t feel like opening it now I could just leave it in your room.” Your head motioning up the stairs.

Carmy stepped back nodding his head, “Uh yeah please if you don’t mind.” He sent you an awkward smile, guilt creeping up his chest. You smiled turning to head up stairs and drop his present off, he called out to you as made it halfway up the stairs. You stopped turning to face him, “I uh, I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything.”

Carmy watched as you drew your lips up into a broad smile. He knew it was fake though, that small sparkle wasn’t in your eyes, the edges of them not crinkling either the way he had once been used to your pretty teeth not making an appearance for him either. He watched as you sent him a small shrug, “It’s okay Carmy, I wasn’t expecting one anyway.” You resumed your journey upstairs to his room.

Carmen was left alone at the bottom of the staircase, eyes still glued to the spot you were just minutes ago. He closed his eyes trying to get a deep breath into his lungs. Carmy was trying to understand how he had ever deserved to once have you in his life, he was a grade A fucking asshole to you, and you still treated him with the same love and thoughtfulness you always had. Carmy made a decision in that moment, as soon as this night was over, he was buying you a fucking Christmas present.

You closed the door behind you as you exited Carmy’s childhood room, the air of nostalgia pressing down on you while you were in there almost suffocating you. You had been in there entirely too long, easily getting caught up in how much easier life was when you and Carmy used to build pillow forts and tell ghost stories in there. You had meant to just place the present at the foot of his bed and go, but you found yourself getting caught up in the memories and flipping through the various culinary books that had been sitting on the nightstand paying extra close attention to the pages that had been tabbed.

By the time you made it to the dining room everyone had sat down and the only empty seat was to the right of Sugar and directly across from Carmy. You walked in brows pitched together at the commotion that could be heard, eyes locking with Carmy’s at the same time something aggressively hit your thigh.

A chorus of “Michael” could be heard around the dining room. You looked down at the sound of metal clanging against metal, one fork laying next to your foot another a little ways in front of it. Bending down you scooped the two forks up in your hand. You looked around the table even more confused than you already were eyes darting to Mikey as he threw his arms open in greeting, “Baby! Nice of you to join us, mind doing me a favor and handing me those forks?” Your eyes flashed to the forks in your hand before taking in everyone’s expressions around the table.

You had no clue what you had just walked into. You looked in Carmy and Nat’s direction, the two of them subtly shaking their heads. Your eyes found Mikey’s again a little unnerved by the look in his eyes, “They were just on the floor so I’ll just go wash them off real qui-.”

The sound of palms slamming against the table cut off your explanation causing you to flinch where you were standing, eyes still glued to Mikey, “Sorry Baby, I’m sorry,” his hands raised in a placating gesture. “Just hand me the forks alright, don't needa wash ‘em off,” You gulped your head nodding slowly as you took the few steps in Mikey’s direction. He carefully took them from your grip, a mocking smile pulling at his lips.

You gave him a small nod quickly retreating to your seat. You shuffled your chair in Stevie helping to push the back of it. All was silent for a moment as everyone looked at each other, you doing everything in your power to avoid anyone’s eyes. A quiet laugh broke the silence followed a whispered “Of fucking course.”

Mikey’s eyes snapped back to Lee eyes zeroing in on the older man, “What did you just say?” The question sounded more like a demand to your ears. Lee laughed again shrugging his shoulders turning his own eyes to glare at Mikey, “I said of course she’s gonna fucking do what you say the girl has no fucking backbone.”

An echo of “Lee,” and “What the fuck,” could be heard from both Richie and Cicero, one trying to the diffuse the situation, the other not settling for the unwarranted disrespect thrown at you. Your head shot up a frown decorating your features eyes locking on Carmy’s as he shook his a head a plea for you to ignore it and not further feed into the chaos

You ignored Carmy turning in your chair to face Lee, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean Lee?” Stevie’s hand reached up to lightly pat your shoulder trying to calm you down before aggressively being shrugged off.

Lee faced you with a sardonic smile pressing into his lips “Is somebody gonna tell her? Do I have to tell her?” He looked around the table looking for anyone to take the reins from him, “I’m sorry that nobodies honest with you sweetheart, but you’re just a glorified lap dog.” He shrugged his shoulders as if in apology, “Just a bitch he keeps on a leash.”

Your mouth opened a little bit confused as to how this conversation had become a personal attack on you. Everyone at the table had brought forth different reactions after that revelation, anyone who knew Mikey knew he didn’t take kindly to disrespect thrown your way. You felt a foot nudge yours under the table taking you away from the ensuing chaos. You turned to Sugar who was focused on the scene in front of her too worried about Mikey to be paying attention to you. You felt the nudge again, eyes finding Carmen's eyebrows raised in a silent question, eyes searching your face to catch any remaining emotions, you smoothed out the frown on your face sending him a small nod to let him know you were fine.

The two of you were drawn back to the argument before you as the two men began berating each other again, voices growing louder by the second. You watched Mikey’s face lose any sort of emotion as Lee took a shot at his drug use. You felt your heart squeeze in your chest at Mikey’s reaction, you couldn’t lie you thought both men were being extremely childish but you hated how that was one of the things people latched onto when purposely trying to hurt Mikey.

The table remained silent; the only sound filling the room was the ticking of a clock in the background, everyone doing their best to not cause any reasons to incite more violence. The anxiety caused you to bounce your leg up and down unsure as to where the rest of this night was going, you felt a foot gently tap the toe of your shoe, something Carmy used to do whenever you needed reassurance that everything would be okay and other forms of physical contact were impossible.

You watched as Mikey pawned Pete’s fork from its set place, an uproar going around the table pleading with Mikey. You sat there silently watching the scene if 10 other people hadn’t already gotten through to Mikey, you were sure and 11th voice joining the mix would be completely useless at this point.

Sugar’s voice cut through the chaos attention zeroed in on Mikey, “Michael. Please don’t do this.” You watched as Mikey focused his attention on Sugar, “I love you.” Being her final plea as Mikey seemed to be weighing his options. The discourse between the two continued as everybody watched with bated breath waiting to see what the next move would be.

Steve’s unwarranted giggle broke Michael’s focus, his rush of apologies being brushed off by Mikey all in the name of fun. Cicero decided he might be the one to finally get through to Mikey playing his hand at mediator. You watched Mikey’s erratic behavior in silence, you weren’t usually privy to this side of Mikey, never being in town long enough to catch one of his episodes. It scared you, and it wasn’t necessarily Mikey that was scaring you but knowing that his switch could be flipped in such a timely manner that had you worrying about his safety.

The argument being nowhere near resolved as Lee’s constant instigating kept fueling the fire. Mikey’s sudden movement to stand up caused your heart to race, you honestly couldn’t give two shits about Lee’s wellbeing, your only concern was Mikey and what was going through his head at that moment.

You held your head in your hands that were propped up on the table by your elbows, the impending headache beginning to make an appearance. The animal noises coming from Mikey’s direction doing nothing to ease the ache behind your eyes. Doing your best to drown out Lee’s constant attack on Mikey’s character.

The clapping around the table drawing your head up as Donna danced into the dining room, you felt so exhausted you couldn’t even muster up a fake smile to appease her. “What did I miss?” Donna laughed as she made her way to her seat, a quiet “nothing” being her answer. “I missed something,” she said while sitting in her designated spot.

Donna’s eyes met yours, letting out another laugh “Jesus you look fucking miserable Baby. I definitely missed something.” You let out a small chuckle forcing your lips into a pathetic smile, you hand coming up to play with your own fork that was sat on the place mat, “Nothing Mama D, just Lee being a fucking cunt.”

The table fell quiet any hope for a somewhat peaceful family dinner squandered by your remark. All eyes flocked to Donna as she let out a full belly laugh, hand coming down to hit the table. The same hand moving up to point at you, “Now that’s fucking funny Baby.” A shit eating grin stretching across your face, Carmy letting out an exasperated sigh at his mom feeding into your antics.

“Uh, Stevie, Stevie’s about to say grace, Ma.” Mikey interjected trying to stir Christmas dinner back on his rightful course, Donna looked appeased eyes happily finding Steve’s figure as she waited for him to begin. A small back and forth between Mikey and Stevie ensued before that latter began his prayer.

“Um..Hey. Uh.. that we’re all…” Michelle’s laugh interrupting her partner causing you to laugh but quickly stopping at the soft pinch on your thigh earned from Sugar. You fell silent as you listened to Stevie give what seemed more like an awkward ramble rather than a prayer.

You could feel Carmy’s eyes darting across your figure as Stevie gave his explanation of what he thought the seven fishes symbolized. “I think that spending time and using that time on the people that we love is how we show them that we love them.” You had looked up in that moment, eyes connecting with Carmy’s piercing blue ones. Neither of you gave into the urge to look away, instead drinking each other in like two plants feeling the first drop of rain after a drought.

Your attention both drawn away by Donna’s quiet sniffles a chorus of praises sent in her direction in order to calm her aching heart.

“You okay?” Natalie’s question causes you to flop back in your chair, eyes clenching shut. You knew all Nat had was good intentions and would always be the first one to put Donna’s mental well-being first, but you also knew what it felt like to feel so overstimulated that those two measly would send you in a downward spiral.

“Do you know how much I fucking hate it when you ask me that? Do I not look okay Natalie?” Donna’s mood shifted just as quickly as it had been the whole day. Her unknown limit was reached in the span of a minute.

“Not really.” Michelle’s subtle shade drew a hardly restrained laugh out of you, “Oh, fuck you Michelle.” Donna snapped before setting her sights on you, “Is something funny Baby? Hmm?” The question causes the lingering smile to immediately drop your back going straight against the chair, your head quickly shaking back and forth throat clearing before answering Donna, “No ma’am.” You admitted head still on a swivel to ease Donna’s agitation.

You glanced at Carmy, his whole being sunken in as he looked at you as if your existence was exhausting him at this moment. Regardless of Carmen’s look you know your mom would’ve crucified your ass for walking into Donna Berzatto’s house and feeling comfortable enough to disrespect her not only to her face, but with a bunch of her peers around.

“Are you motherfuckers okay?” Donna continued on letting her subdued rage out the table silent so as to not enrage her any further. “Fuck you!” The smashing of glass as the plate hit the ground causing you to flinch, leg knocking into Carmy’s from the sudden noise, his knee tapping yours twice to reassure you everything would be fine.

Donna made her exit while berating Sugar, who sat there speechless unaware of why her need to make sure her mom was well was taken as a personal attack. Lee’s unprovoked comment about Donna’s tirade irritating you along with Michelle’s comment about it being her worst moment.

It was funny to you how each and everyone sitting at this table would drag themselves here every year. To sit in Donna’s house, to eat Donna’s food. To reap the rewards of the countless hours of Donna’s hard work, only to dismiss her because she had become so overstimulated the only reaction she knew to give was unadulterated rage.

You saw Mikey’s hand move before the fork flew across the table narrowly missing Lee’s head. The older man jumping up no longer tolerating the eldest Berzatto’s antics, Mikey following suit the clattering of the dishes loud as he threw his side of the table. The two men trying to force themselves out of the arms of the people holding them back seemingly ready to tear each other apart.

Silence fell upon the room as a loud crash was heard, the screeching of tires following after. You stood up from your seat mouth dropping open at the Mercedes Benz now sitting in the dining room. Mikey’s voice screaming at Donna to open the door as Sugar tightly grasped your arm lingering on the table, trying to ground herself. The two of you are the only remaining guests still sitting down. Your eyes followed Carmy’s as he stared blankly at the fork lodged into a cannoli.

Your head was pounding at this point, the small headache from earlier now feeling more like a migraine. You slipped your arm from Sugar’s grasp removing yourself from the dining room table as quietly as you could, you quickly walked to the front door. Every bone in your body was screaming at you to walk out that door and not come back, to protect your own peace. You plopped down on the porch step head resting against your knees, as much as you wanted to leave, your heart wouldn’t allow you to leave the Berzatto siblings to this mess alone.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come home with us?” Sugar asked one final time as her and Pete were standing in the open doorway. “Pete will take you to the airport in a couple of hours.” You smiled pulling Sugar into a hug, the two of you lingering in the other’s embrace a much needed hug after the day you had.

You pulled back, placing a kiss against her cheek, “Get home Nat, I’ll have Mikey drop me off.” You could tell she was ready to protest but Pete grabbed her elbow gaining her attention, “She’s right you need rest.” You nodded in agreement with Pete, happy that Nat had found someone who would always put her first.

“Listen to Pete Nat, I promise I’ll be fine,” You gave her hand a squeeze the uncertainty still clinging to her features before she let out an exhausted sigh head nodding as she pulled you into one last quick hug. “Call me as soon as you get home okay?” It was your turn to nod, urging the two of them out the door before closing and locking it behind them.

You leaned your head against the cool surface of the door, you had no desire to sit on a plane for four hours, but you also had no desire to extend your stay in Chicago for longer than needed. Sighing you made your way into the kitchen to make sure all the appliances were turned off before flipping off the lights and making your way to the stairs.

The closing of a door caught your attention, your eyes shooting up and landing on Carmy’s tired face, the bags under his eyes seeming to have darkened from the stress of the day. He stopped in his tracks looking at you as well, eyes not blinking for a moment, “You’re still here?” His question caused you to frown confused at the hostile question.

His eyes darted across your face, throat clearing, “No, I uh didn’t mean it like that. Just thought you would’ve been gone by now.” You nodded understanding where he was coming from. “I’m actually looking for Mikey, have you seen him? He’s supposed to take me to the airport.”

Carmy felt his jaw clench at the mention of Mikey, he was getting real fucking tired of hearing about the two of you together. He didn’t know why it bothered him so much but he hadn’t expected to be spending his first Christmas home in a while worrying about Mikey’s role in your life.

“Uh, Mikey took off a bit ago. I don’t think he’ll be home anytime soon.” You felt your eyes instinctively close a tired sigh escaping through your lips. The last thing you wanted to do was head to the airport this early and wait for your flight. You had hoped you’d be able to catch a quick nap before heading out.

“I could, ahem, I could drive you.” You watched as Carmy ran a hand through his hair, eyes looking everywhere but you, “I mean only if you want though you know?” You felt a small smile tug at your lips, Carmy's awkward behavior endearing to you, you could tell he felt self-conscious about even offering up such an idea, and you understood, it was kind of out of left field for two people who hadn’t been on the best of terms.

“Honestly Carmy I would fucking love that,” You smiled in his direction thankful that you could count on one of the Berzatto brothers. “Um do you think I can take a shower though, kind of just wanna wash the day off.” You gave a small chuckle to try and alleviate any tension your request may have caused.

You watched Carmy’s head nod rapidly, words failing him in that moment. He turned heading to his childhood room expecting you to follow in his footsteps. You entered behind him, the room feeling impossibly smaller with the two of you now taking up space. You watched Carmy frantically move around the room returning to your side with a stack of clothes in his hand, you smiled gratefully taking the clothes from his hand before making your way towards the en suite.

Carmy watched as you closed the door behind you, hands moving to run down his face as his brain tried to piece together how after everything that had gone down today, you were taking a shower in his childhood bathroom.

You stepped out of the shower quickly wrapping the fluffy towel that you had found under the sink around your body. Your hand reached up to wipe the steam off the mirror, you stood there for a moment taking in your appearance grateful to have taken a shower but a little nervous about spending time in close quarters with Carmy after being apart for so long.

Your eyes turned to the pile of clothes sitting atop the countertop, you took inventory of the items. A white tee shirt that you just knew hugged Carmy deliciously, sweats that were sure to be baggy on your frame, a pair of socks and boxers you hoped had been washed prior to being offered to you.

The lotion bottle sitting next to the sink caught your attention, not giving it a second thought as you reached for Carmy’s signature scent lathering it on your body and quickly getting dressed. You exited the bathroom throwing your damp towel in the hamper next to the bathroom door. Taking a step into the room your eyes found Carmy sitting on his twin sized bed, legs propped up as a book rested on his knees, highlighter clenched between his teeth as he raptly read his book.

It wasn’t the position that kept your focus though. It was the tank top that showed off his toned biceps, shoulders sculpted just right. His signature gold chain complimenting the white tank top. You did your best to stop staring, eyes skating across his ink covered skin as an excuse to keep checking him out.

“You’re staring.” Your eyes shot to Carmy’s face, his eyes still stuck on his book. You cleared your throat gaining his attention, hand gesturing to the door behind you, “I hope you don’t mind I kind of used your shower gel…and your lotion.” Carmy nodded listening to you speak, “I drew the line at your 2in1 Head and Shoulders though, that was a real disappointment Carmen.” You sent him a teasing smile as you made your way to his bedroom door.

“Wait where are you going?” You stopped looking back at Carmy confusion washing over your face, “I was just gonna nap on the couch, I don’t want to intrude in your space any longer,” You calmly explained. Carmy stared at you for a few minutes, bright eyes drilling holes into your own, you watched as he moved to the opposite side of the bed before patting the spot he had just been in “Just uh, nap here okay?” You felt your heart rate pick up at the gesture, a little annoyed that basic human decency had your heart trying to race out of your chest.

Carmy raised his eyes in your direction waiting for you to take the spot. You quickly shuffled over, adjusting the pillow so you could lay down comfortably. You laid down on your right side, head facing Carmy, studying his face as he read. Watching as every few minutes he would highlight a sentence he probably found particularly interesting. His eyes so focused on what was in front of him you almost wondered if his body remembered how to blink. Your eyes traced down the side of his face, gliding down his neck and landing on his gold chain that caused your body to warm, your tongue peeking out unconsciously to lick your lips.

Continuing your path across Carmy’s shoulder your hand reached up to gently caress his ‘773’ tattoo. Index finger tracing every number before making its way down to what appeared to be a measuring cup holding the world.

Carmy’s head shot in your direction at the first touch of your soft finger against his skin, he watched your finger carefully tracing the ink lining his arms. He saw the concentration on your face doing his best to hold back a sigh at the feel of your skin against his. He had to convince himself to not reach out and push the hair out of your face to get a clear view of what you looked like at this angle. Carmy allowed you to continue your investigation, his own eyes darting across the visible side of your face, eyes falling to your pulse point imagining what it would feel like to place his hand there. His eyes were drawn to the medium sized ‘B’ in a typewriter-like font painted in the space behind your ear.

Carmy shakily reached out hand cupping the left side of your neck as his thumb gently ran back and forth over the single letter, “Baby?” You looked up at Carmy eyes meeting his as he tapped the ink behind your ear to signify what he was questioning. You gulped feeling the tension in the air as his eyes searched back and forth between your own.

“It could stand for Berzatto if you wanted it to.” You weren’t sure where the confidence to allow that whisper to leave your lips came from, but you weren’t going to pretend you regretted it.

You watched Carmy’s Adam's apple bob up and down. The grip of his hand tightening against your neck momentarily as he coughed before removing his hand. Eyes leaving yours as he shut the book still laying in his lap and placed it on the bedside table, “Ahem, It's late, get some rest I’ll wake you when it's time to leave.” You were given no time to interject as Carmy turned off his bedside lamp and turned so his back was facing you.

You sighed eyes now piercing the space between his shoulder blades. Leaning forward you pressed a small gentle kiss to the bare skin of his shoulder. “Goodnight Carmen. Sweet dreams.” You turned as well, not even being able to face his back.

Carmy’s breath caught in his throat, your lips feeling as if they had been branded into his skin. He took the chance adjusting his own body around, the size of his childhood bed causing the two of you to be pressed flushed together. The soft gasp you let out causing his heart to race his mind going a mile a minute, thoughts doing their best to talk him out of whatever the hell he thought he was doing right now.

His arm found its way around your waist pulling you impossibly closer to him, your backside pretty much in his lap at this point. Neither of you said a word. Carmy's face made its home in the crook of your neck. The faint scent of your lavender and vanilla perfume lulling him into a dreamlike state.

a/n: goodness did i hate the first draft of this chapter : ( and i still hate this draft, but the carmy x reader fluff at the end made me feel better lol. the family dinner truly killed me though and i’m so glad to be done with the christmas arc. i hope you all enjoy please like/reblog/comment or interact in whatever way you feel comfortable. i appreciate you all so much thank you for the support! 💜

idk if this needed to be said or not but this is obviously and AU at this point lol

tag list: @hawkins-2000 @elliesbabygirl @allbark-no-bite @anakinswh0re3005 @rexorangecouny @thecraziestcrayon @fruitcupsworld @nishinoyahhh @lilylovelyxo @ridingthehotmessexpress @noas-ark @jadeittic @hellokittyever @luvr-bunnyy @sxgees @fandomhopped @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @kravitzwhore @chanluuvr @readingwiththereids @chims-kookies @ladygrey03 @ferida-kahlo @wanderlustnightwanderer @how2besalty @armydrcamers @gcidrvsh @fire-treasure-iii @frequentnosebleeder @kailyn-g05 @khena

i hope i got everyone, strikethrough means i couldn’t tag : (

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto angst #carmen berzatto x you #the bear x reader #platonic!mikey berzatto x reader #platonic!richie jerimovich x reader #fem!reader #carmen berzatto fluff #all i ever knew only you ₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊ #[aiekoy] 3

[youraverageaemondsimp]

Just mine alone. // Dark!Aemond Targaryen x CommonerMaid!Reader

MDNI, DD:DNE; reader discretion is heavily advised.

block the tag #MAE:DARK!CONTENT to prevent seeing dark content from me.

based on merged requests, this and this. // divider creds: @cafekitsune

WARNINGS: noncon to dubcon, coercion, power imbalance, unprotected p in v sex, breeding kink (if you squint), tiddy play, nipple play, multiple orgasms, power abuse, status difference, medieval era bullshit, infidelity (kind of, reader is betrothed), jealous aemond, dark!aemond, oral f. receiving. + notproofread.

WC: 1.7k

You walked inside Prince Aemond's chambers with freshly washed linen sheets, ready to change the coverings as it was your duty as a maid, the prince would usually be out of his room at this time giving you no trouble to finish up your work.

But today, he wasn't.

You were surprised to see him, “My prince?” you question and he turns to face you, eye wide and lips pressed tightly together, almost as if in anger.

“You're getting married?” He questions and you stiffen up, before swallowing thickly, you shift your weight onto your other leg and clutch the sheets tightly to your chest, “My prince i–”

“Drop the act Y/N, there is no one around.” He tells you sternly and you take a deep breath and look behind you, finding the door closed before you once again face him. “Aemond.” You call out his name and his lips twitch.

“Yes? Answer my question.” He demands and you sigh heavily, before nodding, “I am.” you tell him and he scoffs.

“So I don't mean anything to you after all?” He questions, his voice laced with a condescending tone which makes you fidget nervously, “Did all those years mean nothing to you at all? I thought you loved me.” He grits his teeth and that takes you back into the past when you first met him.

He bumped into you when you were both kids, while trying to run from his brother at the street of silk and ended up taking refuge in your house, that's how your friendship first bloomed, securing a friendship with a prince came with many benefits but you did not like to rely on others, so you found work at the red keep as a maid, and thus deepening your friendship furthermore.

As years progressed, you fell in love with him, yet you knew your place and quickly awoke to the harsh reality of both your status difference. You were nothing but a mere commoner, yet he is a prince, so pushed those feelings away and moved on. Even going as far as agreeing to a proposal your parents had arranged for you.

That man wasn't as highborn, yet he owned a bakery while your family owned poultry. This marriage is more of a trading business rather than anything but you had actually met the guy and he is extremely nice and polite, which made you immediately say yes to the proposal.

The only thing you forgot about was Aemond.

It shouldn't matter to him as much right? Then why is he acting as though he was betrayed in a way?

“Answer me!” His voice snaps you out of your memories and you visibly flinch, “What do you mean by the love we shared, Aemond? There was nothing between us.” You furrow your brows in confusion, did Aemond even like you back? “And what made you come to that conclusion?” He strides towards you angrily and you take a few steps back, dropping the sheets on the floor.

He traps you in between himself and the wall before grabbing your face harshly, squeezing your cheeks tightly, “Speak now.” He spits harshly and you begin to tremble, scared at his angry personality. “I- We cannot be together, Aemond. There is a difference in status between you and me.” You tell him and his grip on your cheeks become tighter, “Why does it matter? Why could not have confessed? I love you.” He confesses, which makes you freeze in shock, “Tis’ already too late.” you wheeze out as he finally let goes of your cheeks and stares at you, his eye scans your form up and down before a smirk forms on his face. “Not if I ruin you, if you're already defiled then nobody would want you, you'd be mine forever.” He tells you his horrendous plan which makes you feel terrified. “Aemond, no.” you tell him straight forward but he doesn't listen and presses his lips against yours, and bites your bottom lip, pulling on it harshly, “You're mine, only mine.” He mutters before he notices that specs of blood are beginning to leak from your lips from where he bit it, he licks them up before kissing you once again, hands roaming upwards your body as he gropes you, before squeezing your breast, making you gasp. He uses this as a chance to push his tongue into your mouth, further deepening the kiss.

He grabs you off the wall by your arms and takes you to his bed, gently pushing you onto the mattress, you try to get away but he pushes you back and traps you between his arms, and begins to kiss down your neck, “Fuck, you are mine, always been mine, I can't let anyone have you.” He growls as he undoes the lace of your bodice, pulling it off you. You place your hands on his chest, trying to push him away gently but he grabs your hands and pins them to your sides. “I know you crave it too.” He coos and you swallow thickly, you hate that he is right but you know that no man would want you after this, especially your betrothed, so you try to reject Aemond’s advances yet he doesn't budge.

“Shhh, just let it happen.” He whispers gently, as he let goes of your hands and grabs your skirt, hiking it up, revealing your legs which makes you shiver as feel the cold air bite your thigh, he travels down and let goes of your skirts while grabbing both your thighs, arms wrapping around them and pulling them apart, his warm breath hits your core making you clench around nothing, “You're so divine.” is all he says before he is lapping at your cunt like a wild animal. Your mind becomes hazy as you try to register the pleasure he's giving you, you squeal when you feel him bite your bud, before he continues lapping at it. His tongue prods at your entrance and soon he is tongue fucking you, his nose pressing so perfectly onto your clit, you wondered if he is even able to breath.

You try to protest still, but you are cut off by your own orgasm hitting you, your arch your back while pressing his face further into your cunt at the feeling, he laps at your bud slowly, bringing you off your high gently. He pulls away and trails upwards, weight supporting his hands and you stare at him, taking in how messy he looks, his lips glossy from your essence and his hair messed up.

You hated to admit it but seeing a prince this messy knowing the reason is you makes a spark of arousal to form inside of you.

Before you can process what was happening, Aemond was now kneeling on the mattress as he placed both of your legs on his shoulders before properly positioning himself, his pushed his tip inside slowly, his thickness was practically making you feel as if you are being split open. This caused tears to well up in your eyes and you sniffed, Aemond chuckled meanly, your reaction likely boosted his ego, “Look at you crying, all because of my cock yeah? You look so fucking beautiful.” He grunts, he is now fully inside and unable to hold it back anymore, he begins to thrust at a face pace, giving you no time to adjust and you cry out, “Shhh, sorry I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry.” He mutters over and over again, yet not slowing down, it took a while for the pain to convert into pleasure, and all the while he kept apologising while you whined in pain. He pulls down the bodice to reveal your breasts before he massages them, playing with your nipple and twirling it in between his thumb and index finger, he leans forward, causing your knees to press against your chest, in order to kiss you.

He pulls back stares at your stomach, noticing a slight bulge whenever he thrusts inside of you, and you feel his tip kiss your cervix, causing you to twitch in slight pain.

“Aem ‘s too big— pull back please.” You whine and he actually listens to you and pulls back slightly, the positioning of his tip was now perfectly aligned with your sweet spot, as he repeatedly hit it making you whine and whimper. You knew from the noises he was making that he was near too.

You both peak at the same time, the pleasure washes over you like a tide while he fills you up to the brim, “Fuck fuck fuck, you're squeezing me so tight, your cunt is so desperate for every drop of my seed huh?” He groans.

He stays like that for a while before pulling out, watching as his seed leaks out of you, you lay there frozen as the aftermath of the high occurs and you realise the weight of the situation, aemond just took your maidenhead, in other words, you are soiled.

You think of your betrothed and how you had betrayed him, sobs almost broke out of you but Aemond suddenly flipped you around, making you lay on your stomach and grabbed your waist to pull your power body upwards. “What are you doing–” You are cut off when he spanks you, shrieking at the pain, “You are thinking of that bastard aren't you? Your fucking betrothed.” He questions and your eyes widen, how did he know? “I could tell from your face, seems I need to fuck you dumb enough to forget his name and face.” He replies as though he had heard your thoughts.

You balance yourself on your hands, and turn your head to watch as he lines his cock against your entrance once again before pushing it inside, causing you to arch your back at the stretch. He begins to move again, roughly thrust in and out while his hands gripped your waist, his thighs smacked against yours and the room was starting to reek of sex.

Aemond had lived up to his word, because by the end of it, you had nothing except him on your mind.

You knew there would be repercussions of your actions, but as Aemond ripped peak after peak out of you, you began to care less about them, and let Aemond take you however he wanted.

After all, you belonged to him.

— !  ݈݇- thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed it <3 comments and reblogs are appreciated greatly ♡

#MAE:DARK!CONTENT #tw: dubcon #tw: noncon #aemond smut #aemond x reader smut #aemond targaryen smut #aemond targaryen x reader smut #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen fanfiction #dark!aemond targaryen x reader #dark!aemond targaryen #dark!fic #dark!aemond smut #dark!hotd #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond fic #aemond fanfiction #aemond x fem!reader

[yoonlattesworld]

The dealer : MYG

Synposis : you've heard about every nasty rumor surrounding him. It's like they follow him every where he goes. But something in your heart told you that after all, rumors were just rumors. You knew you were playing with fire. You knew that you shouldn't be anywhere near him. But after an incident involving your best friend happened, you found yourself getting closer to him. You tried to stop the flutter in your heart which increased every time he looked at you, every time he touched you. But of course the heart never listens to the brain. After all logic is irrelevant to feelings.

The only question is whether you'll end up with a broken heart, or with a love which will make you feel alive again.

Genre/warnings: drug dealer yoongi, grumpy x sunshine, tsundere yoongi, romance, fluff, smut, angst, usage of drugs, blood, fights, gun, mentions of depression, drug overdose, child abuse, one pov switch ,fingering, love making,almost getting harassed , lose of virginity , oral (f receiving)

Pairing : drug dealer yoongi x good girl reader

Main master list

Yoongi master list

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Author's pov

"did you hear?" you looked up from your laptop to see your best friend leena looking at you with wide eyes which told you she has heard a new gossip.

Smiling slightly you closed the laptop before folding your arms and looked at her "hear what?" "about him!" she exclaimed as if she expected you to know who that 'him' is. Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to remember if she was seeing anyone new "him who-" oh.

Her smile told you she knew exactly what you were thinking about as you avoided her eyes and opened your laptop again "what about him?" you tried to hide the interest in your voice as you waited for her answer patiently.

Of course you know who he is. Not personally but you've heard enough to know what kind of person he is. One didn't need to know someone personally when there were countless rumors surrounding that person. Specially when there more bad than good.

You've only seen him once or twice by the back gate of your university where people buy drugs and god knows what from him. He didn't look innocent either but you've always told yourself not to judge someone by their appearance. Still, him with his black leather jacket and black jeans and boots with multiple tattoos and piercings, he looked very intimidating. Enough for a sane person to walk away the moment they make eye contact with him.

According to some people half of those rumors were a lie. But he never made a move to improve his reputation. Leena had once told you that he was seen carrying a gun around. And that was enough to increase that chilling fear inside you when you once accidentally made eye contact with him.

"y/n?" "earth to y/n?" you blinked twice as leena snapped her fingers in front of your face and shook your head as if to rid yourself of any thoughts about him. "what were you saying? " you smiled sheepishly as she raised an eyebrow "where did you get lost? Perhaps somewhere which included a certain-" "leena. Stop" she pursued her lips at your glare and raised her hands in surrender "okay okay now what were we talking about? Yes-" she clapped her hand once and the eagerness in her eyes returned.

"last week some people saw him beating a person" your eyes widened "what?" she nodded with equally wide eyes "he spent two nights in prison before his partner bailed him out" you shook your head sighing softly but your eyes narrowed soon after "his partner? How do you know the person who bailed him out was his partner? " "well" she smiled which looked suspiciously guilty "actually my brother heard about it from his friends" you looked away from her and continued typing as she sighed "babe" you ignored her as she whined "look I'm sorry babes. I know you don't like getting involved with people like him but I promise sang-u isn't the one who purchases anything from him-" you looked at her "oh my god stop looking at me like that! What I meant is that his friends buy from him but he says he just stands beside them. He has never done any drugs y/n you know he isn't like that"

You sighed nodding and she leaned forward and held your hand "are you mad? " looking at her, a soft smile broke on your face when you saw her pout and shook your head "I'm not. Just tell sang-u not to get involved with him okay? I know he's not like that but still. It doesn't hurt to be safe" she nodded and smiled back at you "of course babe. I'd already told him to stop hanging out with those kids but you know this is the first time he's had friends. Besides I've met them and they seem like a decent bunch" you nodded with a smile before silence set over and you both continued your work in silence.

Kim leena and Kim sang u are only 3 months apart. Leena was only three months old when her mom was pregnant with sang u but even with their small age difference, leena was still both a mother, and a big sister to sang u. She's always been protective of him, especially after both their parents died in a car accident. They were only 15 when they came to know that their parents are no longer in this world.

Both of them were taken in by their grandparents but leena knew that it wasn't enough. So at the age of 15 she gave up her own joy to raise her brother and make sure that he never feels unloved. Sang u didn't take their parent's death well. Nor did leena but she managed to hide it well for his sake. On the other hand he slowly started to get depressed . He stopped going out and stayed holed up in his room after coming home from school. Because of his quiet and timid nature he was bullied in high school. Something which damaged his self esteem a lot. Leena transferred both herself and her brother to a different school and that helped. Somewhat.

Since the last year sang u has gotten a lot better. He regularly attends classes and has started to catch up on his studies too. You were very glad to finally see the siblings happy. You've known them since you were 17 so you've been friends since the last 3 years. You know leena has gotten a lot gentler with sang u. She was the most happy when she found out that sang u has been making friends and is socialising properly. So although she was less than amused to see that some of his friends in the group smokes, she didn't want to be hard on him and tell him to leave the group when he had finally made friends after years.

A few days after that conversation with leena, you saw him again, for the third time. He was leaned against the wall, smoking a cigarette while looking up at the clear sky. He was wearing the same all black clothes but today without a jacket which revealed his pale, veiny arms which were filled with black ink. Something about the black ink on his pale skin looked so beautiful to you. Even at the distance you could see his muscular arms and the way his pointer finger and thumb held the cigarette. Isn't he cold?

Oh god what in the world were you doing? You looked away immediately when he looked in your direction and you assumed he felt you staring. You were going to walk away but your steps halted when you saw someone familiar. Sang u? Your lips parted and you hid behind the wall before peeking out. Sure enough it was sang u along with another guy. You hugged yourself as a chilly wind swiped around you but you stayed put to see the guy taking a packet from him. He took the small bundle of cash and said something before walking away.

On your walk home you only felt the chilly fear again as you remembered sang u taking the packet from his friend. What was in that packet? Were they drugs? Did sang U?-

No

Of course he wouldn't do anything like that. You've known him since 3 years and you know sang u is a good person. But still, as you pulled the covers over your body, you looked at leena sleeping soundly on her bed and sighed. You couldn't shake off the feeling which told you that something was wrong. Maybe you should tell her about what you saw tomorrow morning. Yes you'll do that.

Closing your eyes you buried yourself in the ocean of pillows and blankets but sleep didn't come that easily.

The next morning you woke up, the first thing you wanted to do was talk to leena but your eyebrows furrowed when instead of her curled up, you found her bed empty. Rubbing your eyes you stifled a yawn and walked out of the room expecting leena to be in the kitchen for water but yet again, your surprise only increased when you found both the living room and kitchen empty. You didn't hear the water running so she's not in the bathroom either.

"where did she go so early?" you mumbled to yourself and started making your breakfast. You figured she finally started keeping up with her new year's resolution and has decided to go for a run in early morning. While the bread was toasting you went to brush your teeth and fresh up a bit before preparing your sandwich.

But as you sat on the chair, your eyes travelled to the clock '7:59 am' you frowned sipping your coffee. It's been almost an hour since you woke up and she's still not home. Even if she did went for a run, she should have been back by now. A small fickle of worry started growing inside you as you picked up your phone and dailed her number.

"the number you have called is currently switched off-"

Sighing you cut the call and took a bite of the sandwich. She never switches her phone off unless she's in a class and you know she doesn't have any class today. So why is it off right now? Did something happen?

Standing up you called her again, only to hear the same voice. You spent the next 20 minutes tidying up the house and calling her but your concern only increased when she didn't pick up.

As you were about to clean the windows, your movements halted when you heard the door opening. "is she back? " you mumbled rushing towards the living room and your eyes widened when you found her sitting on the floor, leaned against the front door with tears streaming down her face. "leena? " you gasped rushing towards her and kneeled in front of her "what happened? " you frowned cupping her face to make her look at you and once she did, your heart broke.

"y-y/n" she sobbed hugging you tightly. The last time you saw her cry like this, was at her parent's death anniversary and it broke your heart to see the usually chirpy girl breaking down like this "what's wrong?" you whispered rubbing her back, your arms around her tightening when she buried her face in your shoulder, her sobs getting louder "leena calm down, honey and tell me what happened " you pulled back slightly and wiped her tears "what happened? Where did you go so early? " you asked gently, trying to stay as calm as possible even though your heart was ready to rip out of your chest "s-sang u" she choked up and your eyes widened for a second before you helped her stand up and guided her towards the couch.

After making her drink some water, you sat besides her and asked her again. Fortunately she had calmed down enough speak properly "y-you were right" she sniffled gripping your hand tighter "I should have stopped him from hanging around with those people" your heart stuttered "what do you mean? What happened leena? " you had an idea of what might have happened but you didn't want to think about it. You assured yourself that what you were thinking wouldn't be the case.

But of course your fear came true.

"he has been doing drugs y/n" she whispered, a look of horror on her face which matched your own "a-are you sure? Surely you might have misunderstood-?" you stuttered but your heart dropped when she shook her head, another loud sob leaving her lips "b-but how? " "he has been borrowing money from his friends. But at one point they stopped lending him money because he wouldn't pay them back" she clenched her jaw and burried her face in her hands "so he started to buy drugs from a different dealer. You remember that dealer I told you about?" of course you do.

"he has been buying from him since the last two months without paying and now he's demanding the money back" she whispered the last words and looked at you with teary eyes "he owns that dealer a large sum, y/n. He called me this morning and his voice sounded so panicked so I rushed to his dorm room and he asked me to give him some money. But even I don't have that much right now" she cried quietly "oh god" you whispered hugging her tightly. "h-he threatened sang u that he'll take the money back in his way if he doesn't get it in 3 days" her voice turned more panicked as she hugged you tighter "w-we know his way y/n. What if he-" you shushed her before she completed her sentence.

You both know what she was going to say. It was just a few days ago when he went inside the bars for almost beating a person to death. And you know he's more than capable of doing that again. But your eyebrows furrowed when you remembered what you saw last evening "but leena" you pulled back and told her everything you saw the day before and she smiled bitterly "I saw him giving that dealer a bundle of cash. So why.." she squeezed your hand "that cash was also burrowed" you looked at her with surprise "he took some money from our grandparents last week. But that money was just worth of the drugs he bought yesterday. He still has to pay him back for the last two months. What do I do? " she started crying again and you sighed rubbing her back.

You wanted to curse yourself for even thinking about what you were about to say. But you didn't have any other choice. You know she wouldn't dream of taking money from her grand parents. She already thinks they have done a lot for her and her brother so the idea of borrowing money from them isn't an option.

"leena" You took a deep breath as she looked at you with tearful eyes which widened soon after when you said the next words "I'll go and talk to him" "no" she said firmly "leena-" "no y/n are you crazy? He's dangerous" she hissed "he's not scared of beating people if he doesn't get his money. He'll do anything for money. I don't want you to get hurt because of me" she whispered and you stopped her by gripping her shoulders " I know leena. Trust me, I know he's dangerous. But do we have another choice? He's clearly not scared of police and you don't want your grand parents to know do you? " she shook her head and tried to speak but you didn't let her "I'll just ask him to give us some more time, leena. Surely he can do that? " although it sounded more like a question .

"but what if-" she whimpered shaking her head as fresh tears filled her eyes "don't cry leen. Everything will be fine. I'll ask him for more time and leave" you whispered smiling and hoped that smile didn't show the nervousness you were feeling. She took a deep breath and nodded hesitantly "but I'm coming with you" "no you're not" you stated standing up and she followed soon after "you're thinking of going alone to his place? I think you're forgetting what kind of person he is" she placed her hands on her hips, a determined expression on her face, causing you to sigh "what if he goes after sang u when we're both not with him? " she fell silent "I'll go there alone and you'll stay here with sang u. We shouldn't leave him alone right now leen."

It was a silent conversation that neither of you were willing to acknowledge. What if he does something bad to himself because of fear? What if he does more drugs? These were all the possibilities that you were too scared to acknowledge and it seemed like she knew exactly what you were talking about.

Her face fell and she looked away for a moment before mumbling "I'll stay with him for a few days''you nodded placing a hand on her shoulder ''that would be the best. Don't worry leena. Everything will be fine" you whispered the last words and she nodded wiping a lone tear that managed to escape "please be careful" she whispered before walking towards her room to pack her things.

In the next hour you found yourself standing In front of his front door. You could feel your hands shaking as you forced yourself to take deep breaths. After you made sure that leena was with sang u, you asked him to text you the address and so, now you're standing in front of a small single storey house which was in a relatively bad side of the city. You almost turned back and started walking back home when you noticed a few creepy looking guys staring at you. You even felt like someone was following you but odd enough the moment you stopped in front of his house, that feeling was gone.

"please be careful Noona. Yoongi is a bad guy. He won't hesitate to do anything for his money"

Yoongi

So that's his name.

You exhaled shakily before raising your hand and knocked on the door. For a few seconds, you didn't get any response and that was enough to tempt you to turn around and run back home but of course you weren't gonna do that.

Just as you were about to knock again, you heard some shuffling and a low curse before the door opened and your breath got caught in your throat when he came in your view. Sleepy but sharp eyes, ruffled hair, messy t shirt, it looks like you woke him up. Oh god he won't kill you for waking him up right? But it's 10:30 surely he won't-

"you just gonna stand there and stare at me all day?" your eyes widened. His voice was deep like the depth of the ocean with a little raspiness in it. He raised an eyebrow and his eyes travelled from you face to downwards. "oh um-" you stuttured, your cheeks flaring red as he continued looking at you with those cold and calculating eyes for a moment before mumbling "you lost, sweetheart? " again you blamed the cold weather for the flush on your cheeks.

You weren't gonna let him know that he intimidates you. Taking a deep breath you said "what makes you think I'm lost? " "well" a cold, humorless smile tugged on his lips "it's not everyday I see a girl wearing pink fuzzy socks at my door" if your face was red before then now it feels like it's on fire. You shuffled your feet now feeling really stupid for not changing into something decent before coming here but you came here immediately after dropping leena off.

So here you were wearing a yellow oversized hoodie, pajama pants and pink fuzzy socks along with some slippers. Oh you must look so stupid.

You heard him sigh and looked up to see him already looking at you with irritated eyes "pretty sure you didn't wake me up just to stare at me" you did wake him up.

You interlocked your fingers together to stop them from shaking and said "I'm here to ask you for a favor" he looked at you amused for a moment before you saw his eyes widening for a second "you're sang u's girl aren't you? Seen you around " you're not sure why but you thought his eyes hardened when he said that, although it was gone as soon as it came.

Your eyebrows furrowed "no I'm not-" you cut yourself and sighed "look i-i know he owns you money and it's his fault but don't you think 3 days is too little time to collect that much money?" now he looked less than amused but you still forced yourself to carry on "please at least give us a week I promise we'll pay you the whole amount back" you pleaded "please, yoongi" you whispered when he didn't said anything.

Something flickered in his eyes before he sighed, looking at your form shaking from cold and mumbled "come in doll" your eyes widened but before you could say anything, he was already walking inside and left the door open for you. You very much wanted to decline but he's willing to hear you out. What if this is your last chance?

Groaning quietly you timidly opened the door fully and started walking inside. Removing your slippers you slowly walked in to see a simple but clean living room. Why did you think his house would be dirty?

Your socks claded feet walked on the cold tile as you looked around for any sign of him. You were surprised when he suddenly walked out of what you presumed to be the kitchen with two cups "sit" he mumbled walking past you and sat on the arm chair, setting the cups on the coffee table. Unsure of what to do, you timidly walked towards the couch, the blush rising back on your soft cheeks when his eyes fell on your feet and he smirked which soon hid behind the cup as he took a sip of whatever was in there.

You sat on the other end of the couch to maintain as much distance as possible and looked at anywhere but him as he looked at you over the rim of his cup. The way sang u described his reputation you half expected packets of drugs to be lying around in his house.

"hope you like coffee" you jumped when he suddenly spoke and looked at him with wide eyes before looking at the cup on the table. It's rude to deny the host but right now the host was a drug dealer so "thank you but I'm good" he nodded setting his cup down and leaned back, folding his hands. Normally you find the guys manspreading gross but you hate to admit that he looked anything but gross right now with his tank top revealing his tattooed arms and chest. "so tell me doll" he rasped, "what were you saying? " clearing your throat you looked at him with shaky yet determined eyes "please give us some time to pay you back" those cold eyes were back and looking at you like a predator would look at his prey. "why should I? " a shiver ran down you spine at the coldness in his voice and you gulped down the nerves before saying "h-he made a mistake but he'll make up for it. And he did pay you back the other day... Right?" you whispered uncertainly "i-it's not like he's refusing to pay you. Just give us more time and we'll-" "you keep saying we" you blinked as he cut you off and leaned forward "why is it your business whether he lives or dies of overdose?" you flinched at his words and looked down to blink back the tears forming in your eyes "h-he is my best friend's brother and he is a good person. He just made a mistake so-" you were cut off yet again, this time by his deep chuckle which lacked humor.

"are you pretending not to know, or do you really don't know?" your eyebrows furrowed as he smirked "what do you mean? " "you're that naive huh" he scoffed "sweetheart what he did isn't a mistake. He's been stealing drugs" your eyes widened and you felt you heart drop as he continued "he's been buying from me since 10 months. At first he paid on spot but after some time he started to borrow money to pay for his shit. And then he stopped paying altogether. he's been making empty promises since the last 6 months that he'll pay back everything but then he stopped taking my calls. I stopped selling to him unless he paid back everything he owned me but guess what" he took out a box of cigarettes and a lighter "he's become a fucking addict and started stealing my fucking drugs to get shit faced" he lighted a cigarette and took a long smoke all the while you kept staring at your hands with lips parted and eyes wide "it's not just a mistake any more when he started fucking with my money and my drugs. I do fair business, doll. I don't go around killing people without any reason. He deserved a threat and he got on. And if he doesn't pay me, the next time won't just be a threat"

You didn't noticed when you started breathing heavily. All you knew was that suddenly you were suffocating. There wasn't enough air. Your nails were digging in your palms as you tried to take deep breaths but bitter memories were starting to fill in.

"it was an overdose " the doctor and a police officer looked at you with pitiful eyes " they were abusing their own daughter after getting high" "poor girl.. She's just 7" a nurse whispered and started walking towards you "w-where is mama? " you asked as the nurse crouched in front of you and held your hands gingerly "first let's treat these wounds okay? " she rubbed your cheek and you nodded holding the nurse's hand "some people don't deserve to be parents" "it's an old case. They were bought in many times before. Didn't saw them for a while so I thought they've gotten better-" their voices blocked as the nurse took you to another room. Small cries filled the room as she treated the multiple cigeratte burns on your arms-

"doll?" you were snapped out of your daze when he called you loudly and looked at him with wide, teary eyes. His eyes sharpened when he saw the shine in your eyes and they narrowed soon after when he noticed you tugging the sleeves of your hoodie down again and again.

Clenching his jaw he looked away and mumbled "are you done? Now Get out and tell him that hiding won't do him any good" he stood up and you gasped, leaning forward and gripping his hand "please" you begged "i-I'll do anything you want just give him more time" he sighed and yanked his hand away before looking at you with irritated eyes. You saw his face going blank as he stared at you. But soon you realised that he wasn't staring at your face, but your neck.

Your eyes widened and you pulled the collar of the hoodie properly over your neck to hide the burn marks but it was too late because he already saw them.

His hand clenched and unclenched before he tugged the collar of his t shirt. Suddenly feeling like he was suffocating. "get out" he gritted and you stood up, looking at him with pleading eyes "please-" "you can't do anything for that shit head" he breathed harshly "it's not your business" "it is because it involves my friend" he fell silent, the anger in his eyes growing as you stood there, looking at him with big, fearful eyes "so you're willing to get yourself killed for that friend? " he mocked walking towards you slowly, causing you to take a step back "did you forgot where you're standing?" another step "you marched in all alone in place you could possibly die for the friend who's so fucking coward that he couldn't even come with you? " he snarled and you gasped as your back hit the wall , with his arms caging you against it.

You looked down but he grabbed your chin and made you look at him. A whimper leaving your lips when you saw the fury in his eyes "do you realise what area you're in, all alone at that? " his voice lowered "those shitty people down there are capable of doing things that your pretty little head can't even imagine" he growled lowly. You knew that he's right. You saw them and the look in their eyes as you were walking towards his place. And you knew what they were capable of. "i-I'm sorry" you whispered looking down but you didn't know why you were apologizing in the first place as he breathed angrily "go home. And don't come back" all his warmth left you when he stepped back and only then did you look up to see him walking away.

It took you a second to gather your self but once you did, you all but fleed out of the door. On the way back home, oddly none of the people on the streets were looking at you. It was almost as if they looked scared. You wondered why.

But as you entered your building, you knew why. You saw a glimpse of black hair and sharp eyes as you walked in the elevator. And the pounding of your heart had nothing to do with the nerves.

The three days were up. But as you called leena with a pounding heart, wanting to know if she and sang u were okay, if he paid them a visit, you were very surprised to find out that he in fact didn't. Rather, sang u got a message that said he had 4 days to pay him back.

Sang u was more surprised than relieved. He told leena that in yoongi's world, there was always only one warning. And then the second time were the consequences of not listening to their warning. Leena wasn't talking to sang u. He had not only lied but also stole from people and you hadn't talked to him either. Leena was very thankful to you but she refused to talk to him no matter how much he pleaded. You didn't blame her. He didn't seem like the sang u you had always known.

You dreamt of those cold eyes piercing in yours. And those large, rough hands on your body. It was ridiculous to have that kind of dream of a person who was threatening your friend's life but as you woke up, you felt a small flicker of disappointment after realising that the warmth of the body against yours was nothing but a vivid dream. A dream which didn't leave your mind for the rest of the days but only awakened a strange warmth in the pit of your stomach and wetness In between your thighs.

Leena was visiting her grand parents along with sang u. She still wasn't talking to him but she decided to stay with them for a few days and then come back. She will leave sang u with them because she didn't trusted him to be left alone. So sang u was left juggling between different jobs in busan to collect money.

In a particularly cold night, you were walking home alone after a long day. It was weekend so the streets were busy with people laughing and talking. But even in between the busy streets, you heard that raspy chuckle. It was like it was imprinted in your mind after your conversation two days ago. Despite your mind telling you not to, you followed the sound and it led you to a dark alley. You assured yourself that you'd be fine. There were many people just around the corner. So you decided to peek from behind the wall. And the sight in front of you made you regret the decision immediately.

"oh my god" you gasped clenching your mouth shut with you hands. In front of you was yoongi leaned against the wall with multiple wounds on his face. His hand was pressed against his abdomen tightly and you could see blood seeping from his hand. In front of him were two men standing with wicked smiles. One was holding a bloody knife. Your eyes widened when the they noticed you standing there and you heard yoongi curse loudly when one of them started walking towards you.

Your brain was telling you to run but your legs were frozen and the man was getting closer "leave her out of this!" yoongi growled and you whimpered in pain when the man gripped your hair tightly and dragged you in the dirty alley. You gasped when he pushed you hard, causing you to stumble against the wall but instead of the hard impact, you felt a strong arm wrapping around you before you were pulled in a warm and firm chest.

Gasping softly you looked up to see yoongi glaring at the men with his jaw tight "y-yoongi" he didn't look at you but his hold around you tightened "let her go. You wanted me and you have me. You don't need her here" he gritted and you felt a sick feeling inside you when the men laughed "looks like min finally got a girl" one of them said and you dared to look at him but yoongi placed his hand on the back of your head and pulled you to his chest, as if to hide you from their eyes "she's a fine little thing isn't she? Care to share, yoongi?" you could hear his pounding heart and his chest heaved as his breathed heavily.

You gripped his jacket as he pushed you behind him, a whimper leaving your lips when your eyes caught a glimpse of the wound on his abdomen "you had your fun didn't you? Now unless you want to die here, let us go" it was a threat, a warning,and only a fool would ignore it. Their smiles dropped when yoongi pulled his jacket back revealing the silver of his gun.

It seemed like the two men were unarmed and of course they couldn't do anything with a knife when yoongi was capable of shooting them dead in a second. So taking a step back, they scoffed "until next time min" your face was buried in his back so you didn't notice when they disappeared but you flinched when yoongi turned around and cupped your back "you okay? " he mumbled and you shakily nodded even though you were anything but okay. Your whole body was shaking and tears were staining your cheeks.

It seemed like he didn't believe you but still didn't said anything as he took off his jacket and placed it on your shoulders. You welcomed the warmth with a grateful sigh but soon you realised he must be cold too. Looking up at him, your breath got caught in your chest. He was still breathing heavily and he was looking at you with eyes that held so many emotions. They looked dark with unsaid emotions. His hold around You was possessive as he took a look around the alley to make sure you were alone and safe. "a-aren't you cold too? " you whispered going to take off the jacket but he squeezed your arm "keep it on"

For a second you were caught in his eyes. Neither of you said a word and as he slowly leaned his forehead against yours but as soon as the loudness of the busy street hit your ears, it seemed like the coldness in his eyes returned. They were as cold as the day you went to his house. "I'll walk you home" he mumbled and stepped back but a gasp left your lips when his lips parted in a low groan and his hand clenched the wound "oh god'' you whispered rushing towards him and held his arm.

He froze when you took off the jacket and helped him wear it. Only when you went to place his arm around your shoulder, did he react. "what the fuck are you doing? " he growled lowly pushing you away and for a second, hurt passed by your eyes but you failed to see that he noticed it as his jaw clenched. You looked up at him with pleading eyes "you need to go to the hospital yoongi y-you're -" "no hospital " he snarled and you flinched "o-okay no hospital but let me take you home please. You're injured '' You whimperd and his eyes softened for a moment "why do you care?" he said quietly "won't you be relieved if I drop dead? Your friend will be free too" he smiled humorless. That smile always managed to send a chill down your spine. But right now it only squeezed your heart painfully "please yoongi" you begged as tears filled your eyes "you can't die"

For some reason, it warmed his cold heart to see you holding him so gently. Your words sounded so soft and caring. Full of warmth. Something that he wasn't used to. He was almost surprised when you said that. You were the first person who didn't want him to die. If it was anyone else, he was sure he would be left to die in this cold night. But as you zipped up the jacket to hide the wound and wrapped your arm around his torso, the warmth only increased. And for the first time in life, he was feeling scared.

As you gently helped him sit in the taxi, an ugly side of him told him not to get used to the feeling of warmth. That you'll end up leaving too. But as you sat besides him and told the driver to hurry with teary eyes, he wanted to get used to the feeling. He wanted to get used to you. That was the last thought in his mind before darkness consumed him.

The first thing he felt was a stinging pain in his abdomen. The last second he felt was the warmth besides him. A raspy groan left his lips as he opened his eyes , his hand going to rub his eyes-

Well at least it tried to but he frowned feeling a weight on his left hand. Sighing tiredly he turned his head only to see you sitting besides him. His eyes widened as he saw you. You were leaned against the bed frame, sound asleep and holding his hand tightly. His lips parted as he slowly took you in. You looked uncomfortable in that position. But still in the clothes you wore last night, and your hair a mess of bed head, you looked gorgeous.

So fucking gorgeous

He felt his heart beat increasing when you made a soft noise in your sleep and held his hand tighter as if it weren't tight enough already. And as he was admiring how soft you looked with strands of his falling over your face, a pounding headache interrupted him. He let out a low groan, his free hand going to rub his forehead. Fuck he really passed out last night.

Although he wouldn't admit it, all he wanted to do was lay there and keep admiring you but you looked so uncomfortable and he was really fucking thirsty. Making sure to be as gentle as possible he slowly started getting up, stifling a groan at the pain in his abdomen which was all bandaged up nicely.

Huh

Now that he was sitting, he could see a bowl full of water and a small towel besides it on the side table. What happened last night? Biting his lip he gently removed his hand from yours, his hand clenching around nothing at the sudden empty feeling. Standing up he walked over to your side and slowly picked you up despite the piercing pain shooting through his whole body. After setting you on the bed gently he found himself reaching out to push your hair out of your face. But with a tight jaw, he stopped himself and moved away from you. He needs to get out of here before he does something that he'll regret.

It had only been 15 minutes since he woke up and his morning is already ruined. How long has it been since he felt the soft and warm presence of a woman by his side? Sure he does have sex now and then but they're just that. Just sex. The means to take out his stress and frustration. He's not the type to stay and fucking cuddle afterwards. He leaves. And he never allows a woman in his room much less on his bed. So why the fuck is he letting you sleep on his bed all soft and curled up under his covers?

As he drank some cold water with a scowl, pieces of memories from last night started arriving back. He was passed out but he woke up once or twice in the middle of the night. And both the time he saw you. He almost thought it was dream. But you were here right now and sleeping in his room. In his personal space.

His eyes half opened only seeing a blurry image of your face but soon it cleared up enough to see the concern in your eyes before his own fell shut again. But he could hear your voice "you're burning up" you whispered before he heard some shuffling and after a few seconds he felt something cold pressing against his forehead.

Shit, how long has it been since someone took care of him? Did you stay up the whole night because of him? Again, he hated himself for liking the warmth creeping inside him.

"yoongi?" he jumped slightly at the sound of your voice and turned around, his face now void of emotions as you rubbed your eyes, yawning. His hand clenched and he looked away as you started walking towards him. He resisted the urge to step back when you stopped in front of him, close. Too close. Fuck he could smell the scene of jasmine on you.

"how are you feeling?" you yawned again as you pressed a hand on his forehead to check his temperature "the fever is gone" you whispered with a small smile before looking up at him with big, doe eyes and his jaw clenched when he felt his arousal increasing. You looked so innocent. So at ease like you aren't standing in front a drug dealer in his house. You had your guard down. He could see it. Why though? Shouldn't you be feeling scared right now? He still remembers the terrified look on your face when you were here for the first time.

You bite your lip. Innocently when he didn't said anything. But fuck the thoughts in his head were anything but innocent. Unknowingly his gaze travelled down to your soft, plush lips. Red and inviting. So inviting that he leaned his head down a little, as if in daze. But when your eyes widened and a soft gasp left you, it was like someone threw a cold bucket on him.

What the fuck is he doing?

Just three days ago you were begging and pleading him to give that asshole more time and he hated himself for doing it. And now he's standing in his kitchen with you, having wicked thoughts about what would happen if he just said fuck it and had a small taste of those sweet lips? To bury himself in you until all of his senses were filled with jasmine. To wrap his hand around those lush locks-

You looked startled when he suddenly pulled back and looked away with his jaw tight. And your hand reached out to him "yoongi are you okay?-" "stop" he gritted out, his frustration only increasing when you looked at him with confusion "stop what?" you said uncertainly.

Stop saying my name with the sweet, honey like voice.

Stop caring for me

Stop looking at me with those eyes

Stop here before I taint you with my darkness

Stop-

These were the things he wanted to say, but he couldn't bring himself to even though he felt like the most selfish fucking jerk.

He jerked back when you lightly touched his arm and his eyes flared with unsaid emotions before he looked away. "go home doll" his voice sounded the same it did on the first day you came here. Cold, and void of any emotions.

He turned his back to you, his jaw clenching when he caught the glimpse of hurt on your face. He shouldn't have done this. Shouldn't have let you stay here. Shouldn't have let you sleep on his bed. You almost got yourself killed last night because of him dammit.

"m-make sure to get rest" you whispered timidly and he heard some shuffling, you were collecting your things. You were leaving. And you might never come back. "goodbye yoongi" he heard your voice. He recognized the hurt in it. And it took every ounce of self control left inside him to not turn around and call you. To not hold your hand.

Just as you were about to open the door, his eyes caught something "wait" he turned around to see you looking at him with what he recognized as a glimmer of hope. His heart clenched. "it's snowing" your lips parted as you looked at the window "it's snowing" you repeated in a hushed whisper before a soft smile brightened your face "first snow of the year" you looked at him and he felt his heart pounding once again.

"stay until it stops. I'll drop you off later" he mumbled and turned around, walking towards his room, half to avoid your warm eyes happy because of the snow.

Damn snow.

For some reason he was feeling relieved.

And he knows he was going to regret stopping you.

He was really fucking right.

You looked uncomfortable in your dress so he told you to go take a shower and that he'll put some clothes for you to wear, on the bed.

The only clothes he found which would fit your small form was an old full sleeved t shirt and black pajama pants that he hadn't worn in ages. The t shirt was long enough to cover your thighs but it was really fucking cold so he digged in his closet until he found some pants which will fit you.

A long groan left his lips as he sat on the dinning table with a cup of coffee in front of him. First he let you sleep in his bedroom and now he was letting you shower in his bathroom. He could hear the shower running along with a soft hum of whatever song you were singing. He didn't knew the name but from today onwards it was his favorite song.

A small smirk tugged on his lips when he remembered how you shrieked when the cold water hit your body. He had to stand outside of the door and explain how the water turns hot because well, his shower is old and he can't be bothered to have it repaired.

Cold water hitting your body-

You were naked. And just two doors away from him. Fucking hell.

It's like he's not a old ass grown man but a fucking teenager who's getting random erections.

Drowned in his own thoughts he didn't heard the door opening and only when you called him, did he looked up "y-yoongi?" he froze.

Of course the smallest clothes he owned were still huge on you but still, you looked so fucking beautiful. Your hair were wet and the white t shirt didn't do much to hide your pebbled nipples. He looked away with his jaw tight and stood up "hope you like coffee" it was the same thing he told you 3 days ago.

You smiled lightly and nodded hesitantly sitting on the chair. While he was busy preparing your coffee, you found yourself looking around his home. Now that you think about it, this is the first time you were properly looking at his house. The first time you came here, you were so nervous you spent half the time looking at your hands. last night was full of frenzy and you were with him in his bedroom the whole time.

You were and slept in a guy's bedroom. A blush rose on your cheeks. You busied yourself with looking around to avoid any...inappropriate thoughts coming in your mind.

The living room was simple but just so him. The minimal furniture which only consisted of a couch, an arm chair and a small cabinet. Hmm now that you think about it, what can one possibly store in such a small cabinet? There was also small fire place too. Then his bedroom. It was perfectly him. Small but cozy with a queen sized bed, a closet, a side table and a bathroom.

But there were no personal touches. No photo frames hanging around, no such thing thing that looked like a hobby.

You mumbled a small thank you when he placed the cup in front of you and you wrapped your hands around it, sighing at the warmth.

He watched you for a moment as you took a sip and nodded with wide eyes. Hiding a small smirk he drank his own coffee as you continued looking around the house. You looked like a curious cat.

He raised an eyebrow when he noticed you rubbing your feet together and stood up without a word. You watched him questioningly as he walked in his room and came back a minute later. Without any words he tossed a pair of white fuzzy socks on your lap.

Avoiding your bright smile, he sat down and mumbled "it was a gift. Never wore it before" "why? It's so comfortable and soft" you happily pulled the socks on your feet before wiggling them. He scoffed smiling fondly and looked away "you like it that much? " "of course I do. I always wear them at home" you nodded as if you were speaking the obvious.

After you were done, you insisted to wash both of your cups but he pinned you with a glare so dark you didn't dare to ask again. So watching him do the dishes, you found yourself asking "do you live alone? " he nodded.

"do you have a pet? " he shook his head

"I had a cat once but after she died I couldn't bring myself to have another pet" he nodded.

"do you like coffee? " he nodded

"do you like tea? " he shook his head

"do you like macaroons? " he shook his head

"do you like tangerines? " he nodded

"do you like winter? " he shook his head

"do you like cheese? " he nodded.

You know the questions were getting ridiculous but you were bored and your phone was charging and it looked like the snow won't stop anytime soon. Besides he was answering your every question.

"do you have a girlfriend?" you both froze. Why in the world did you ask that? It just came out of your mouth!

Slowly, you saw his shoulders shaking as he laughed. Not a scoff or a chuckle but a full laugh.

"why? " he smirked turning around "you interested in my dating life, doll? " your cheeks flushed as you looked away. Goodness it's only been 3 days since you know each other properly and yet you asked him that. "n-no? " you stutured "of course not why would I? I was just speaking nonsense just forget I said that-"

Your words halted when he started walking towards you and your breath got caught in your throat when he leaned down, his hands gripping the chair as he leaned his face towards you until your lips were inches away "no I don't" he rasped and you nodded looking away, unable to form a sentence.

You expected him to move away. But when he didn't, you dared to look at him again and when you did, your heart started pounding so hard you half expected it to rip out of your chest.

He was staring at you, his eyes travelled between your own before falling down on your lips which you nibbled nervously. The look in his eyes was so dark you feared you'd drown in them if you looked any longer. But no matter how much you tried, you couldn't look away. It was as if he was pulling you in.

Neither of you noticed when you both leaned against each other but only when his lips were inches away from yours, did he spoke. His voice hoarse "tell me to stop, doll" not trusting your voice, you chose to shake your head instead. Breathing heavily he leaned his forehead against yours "tell me to stop, angel. Stop me. I'm hanging on a very loose thread which is about to snap" he groaned out the last words as you timidly wrapped your arms around his neck while his own inched towards your waist. "don't stop" you whispered, your eyes falling shut as he leaned down, but his lips didn't touch yours.

Surprised and slightly disappointed you opened your eyes only for a soft gasp to escape your lips when his lips touched you neck. He peppered small kisses on your collar bone, your neck, all the bare skin he could find.

"fuck" he rasped burying his face in your neck and inhaling deeply. The scent of jasmine was very faint but it was still there. His cock stirred with arousal when he found his scent on you. You smelled like him. Fucking hell.

His self control finally snapped when you let out a soft moan of his name, your hands tugging him closer to him "y-yoongi" you gasped and a growl left his lips as he wrapped a tattooed arm around your waist and pulled you up, his lips attacking your neck. "oh-" you whimpered as he sucked and bite your sensitive skin until he found that sweet spot which had you gushing. "there it is" he smirked against your skin as he sucked deep marks on your neck, your collar bone, all the while you could only gasp and moan helplessly.

"fucking hell" he grunted with an arm wrapping around your waist, and the other one under your knees before he picked you up swiftly. You wrapped your arms around his neck, a soft sigh leaving both of your lips when he finally pressed his lips on yours.

It was like he could breath again as he finally tasted your lips. They tasted as sweet as they looked. And it was driving him crazy. Your small gasps and moans as you let him devour you. Your fingers tugging his locks. He bite your bottom lip gently as he walked towards the couch and when your lips parted in a gasp, he took it as an opportunity to explore your mouth with his tongue. A low moan left his lips as he laid you on the couch, you legs parting to make space for him and both of you moaned simultaneously when his hard cock fit snugly against your clothes pussy. "yoongi" you signed your back arching when his hand cupped your breast, giving it a small squeeze before it traveled downwards, to the part which was still pure.

You opened your eyes confused when he suddenly stopped and your lips parted when you saw his face. He looked in pain. He looked conflicted and that made your heart drop in panic "y-yoongi? " you whispered hesitantly ''are you okay? " he looked at you for a moment before humming "yes" he pressed a soft kiss on your forehead "I'm perfect"

Was he okay? No. He kissed you with fervour, his heart squeezing painfully when the hope in your eyes returned. Fuck he shouldn't do this. He should stop before it's too late. Because he knows he won't be able to let you go. He's angry at himself for not being able to pull away. You don't deserve this. He doesn't deserve you. You're a good girl and he doesn't want you to waste your time on someone like him.

Someone like him.

A bitter taste left in his mouth at the thought as his hand inched closer to your most intimate part. A soft moan left your lips when he rubbed circles over your clothed cunt. The ache in his heart deepening as you looked at him with eyes full of trust, full of warmth, full of, he dared to say, affection.

''is this okay? " he panted as his fingers tugged your pants and his jaw clenched when you nodded. He wanted you to stop him. Because only then will be he able to stop. "dammit" he hissed as you raised your hips allowing him to pull the pants down. A deep, guttural groan left his lips when your glistening pussy came in the view of his hungry eyes. It took everything inside him to not take you right then and there.

"y-yoongi" you whispered taking his attention "what's wrong? We don't have to do this, you know that right? " he mumbled caressing your hair and you nodded gripping his t shirt "i-i want to it's just that... " "tell me doll" he murmured kissing your lips softly "I've never done this before" his eyes widened for a second before the darkness inside them returned "you're a virgin? " his voice was deep and possessive, one that made you whimper in want as you nodded with a small whisper "yes" "fuck" he cursed under his breath, his lips caressing your jaw, placing small kisses here and there as he rubbed your inner thigh "is this okay? " he mumbled lightly grazing your weeping cunt. He had to stifle a groan at the feeling of your arousal on his fingers. You were drenched. "yes" you gasped as he rubbed your cunt slowly and gently, your wetness only increasing as sucked the sweet spot on your neck.

Your mouth hanged open at the foreign feeling as he slowly pushed a long finger inside your tightness "y-yoongi" you gasped gripping his shoulders tightly as he thrusting his finger in an out of your cunt,groaning at the wetness. "you okay?" he rasped slowly pushing another finger in and you felt your eyes rolling at the back of your head as he stretched you out. The only response you could manage was a small nod as the pain started disappearing, only leaving a trail of delicious pleasure behind. "f-feels so good" you whined, your hips starting to rock against his hand as if they had a mind of their own.

A dark chuckle left his lips as he felt you clenching around his fingers and he increased his speed, his fingers curling until he found your sweet spot. "oh! -" a High pitched moan left your lips when his fingers brushed against that spot causing him to smirk "right here? " he thrusted against that same spot again and again, the hardness of his cock starting to ache but he didn't pay any mind to it. Not when you were looking so fucking beautiful. Like a goddess in his own fucked up hell.

He leaned down, his lips crushing against yours as your pussy pulsed, your juice dripping down your thigh as he continued fucking you with his fingers. ''y-yoongi i-it feels like-" you gasped shakily as your High approached rapidly and when he added a third finger, you exploded.

"cum for me sweetheart. I got you" he whispered against your ear as your back arched and your mouth hanged open as your first orgasm wrapped around you like an euphoric pleasure. He held you until you came down from your high, your body still shaking a little when he pulled back and looked at you with soft eyes as you panted, hiding your face in his chest.

"you okay? " he mumbled rubbing your cheek, a smile tugging on his lips as you opened your eyes and looked at him hazily "yes" you nodded gripping his shirt and pulled him closer. A deep blush rose on your cheek when you felt his still very hard cock pressing against your thigh and a fond look replaced the usual coldness in his eyes as he kissed your forehead.

You looked at him with an innocent smile, oblivious to the emotions raging inside him as he kept staring at you with an unreadable look on his face. You were about to say something when his phone rang and he cursed under his breath. "it's okay. It might be important" you smiled shyly watching as he nodded and stood up with a long kiss on your lips.

You pulled the blanket kept under the coffee table over your lower body and waited as he talked to someone.

"sang u paid the money in full"

Yoongi felt his heart drop. The bitter feeling inside him returned as he glanced back to see you looking at some book, completely oblivious and In your own little world.

"hyung" yoongi forced himself to look away from you and turned his attention back to the conversation "yes okay" he mumbled absentmindedly "leave him alone now. And don't sell him anything from now on" "got it" hoseok replied before hanging up.

Yoongi was left with a hollow feeling inside him. He was used to that feeling but when he was with you, that feeling seemed to disappear. He clenched his hand,walking towards the couch and you brightened up when he came back in your view "is everything okay? " you probably noticed the shift in the atmosphere.

Fuck

He nodded stifly and looked at the window "the snow stopped" your eyes widened slightly before you nodded "it stopped a while ago" you smiled tentatively "what's wrong-" "get dressed. I'll drop you home" surprise and hurt filled your eyes as you watched him pick up your pants. He handed them to you without a word and went to his room while you were left staring at the closed door.

He came out a second later with a coat and a jacket in his hands to see you still in the same position. "I'll wait for you outside" he mumbled placing the coat besides you and walked past without another word "did I do something-" you flinched when he slammed the door shut. Tears filling your eyes as you stared at the coat besides you. Sniffling softly you stood up and started walking inside the bathroom to clean up a bit.

After you were done, you opened the front door and walked out to see him standing there leaned against the wall with a cigarette in between his lips. You looked away when he looked at you, not noticing the pained expression on his face as he noticed the redness under your eyes.

He silently locked the door and walked to his car with you following him. You had worn the coat and your heart squeezed when his scent filled your senses.

The car ride was uncomfortably silent with you staring out of the window and watching the scenery change. Why did it feel like this was the last time you were seeing him? Why did it feel like you were never going to come here again? You gripped the coat tightly when he stopped in front of your apartment. You don't know how he knows your address but you weren't surprised.

You know it was time to leave but neither of you made any move. The silence was getting too much. It was staring to get suffocating and you knew you had to break it. "so-" "don't come back, doll" you were taken aback at both his words and the coldness in his voice. He looked at you with the same cold and calculated eyes as he did on the first day. And it bought fresh tears in your eyes. You looked away before he could see you crying like an idiot but it was too late. His hand clenched around the steering wheel and he looked away with a harsh breath "why? " your small whisper broke his heart. "because you don't have any reason to" you looked at him with confusion in your eyes "your friend paid the money" a humorless smile tugged on his lips when your own parted in surprise "now you don't need to worry about me killing him and I don't have any reason to see you again" you could only look at him with teary eyes as he spoke those harsh words "I got my money so-" "so you don't need me anymore? " you whispered as a few tears ran down your cheek.

It was like someone pierced his heart with a dagger when he those tears. Fuck. He hand twitched by his side as he resisted the urge to wipe your tears. He was the one who caused them in the first place. He had no right to touch you. No right To keep you in his heart.

Fortunately it wasn't hard for him to maintain his expression. So with a blank face, he mumbled "yes" his heart which had finally started beating again, broke even further as a small sob left your lips which you hide behind your hand "yes I don't need you any more"

He knew that he could never forget the look in your eyes as you looked at him with pain, anger, hurt, which matched his own eyes. His hand reached for you when you opened the door and stepped out. But he was too late because you were rushing inside the building. His eyes clenched shut when the image of your teary eyes came in his mind and he clenched his hand before slamming it against the steering wheel "fucking hell!" he roared before rubbing his face with both hands.

The pain of his heart was much stronger than the one of the knife pierced in his skin.

"y/n?" leena gasped, rushing towards you as you closed the door and leaned back against it, your face covered in tears and sobs racking your body "oh honey what happened?" she whispered taking you in her arms "leen" you sobbed burying your face in her shoulder and she held you tighter "what happened?" she rubbed your back as you both slided down the floor "h-he-" you choked up while leena cupped your face and you gripped her wrists "he what? " she looked at you worriedly. She has never seen you cry. At least like this. Your sobs sounded so pained that it made her tear up too "i-i thought we were s-something-" another sob "i-i don't know what happened" you buried your face in your hands.

She had no idea what happened between you and him. So the only thing she could do was hold you until you passed out exhausted from crying .

Leena sighed closing the door gently as to not wake you up and laid on the couch. She knew who you were talking about. You had texted her last night to tell her where you were staying. And although she was worried, you were fully capable of taking care of yourself. After all you wouldn't spend a night at his place if you didn't trust him. She knew you were feeling something for him. But she had no idea that your feeling for him were this deep. So deep for you to cry like this.

It has been a week since that day. In that week you didn't hear anything from him. Which left you to think of every possible scenario. Did you use you? That was the worst one. On that day when you woke up at dinner time with a pouding headache. After dinner you told her everything that happened, leaving one part out. You didn't want her worry for you when she already had so much on her plate. Her relation with sang u was only getting worse. When yoongi told you that sang u paid the money back, you didn't give it much thought because well, you were heart broken. But the next day leena told you that sang u asked their grandparents for money because he couldn't handle all the jobs. That only made leena more angry because she had already made it clear that it was his fault and responsibility and he was not allowed to ask them for money.

But he still did. Now leena has made it clear that she won't talk to him unless he pays back the money. So sang u is still in busan and doing lesser jobs than before to slowly pay them back. Your heart broke to see her so sad. She even said that sang u has changed. And maybe he had.

But he was the last person in your mind right now.

You had pretended to be perfectly fine the next day but you knew that leena didn't believe you. And you were glad that she didn't bought it up again. But despite pretending everything was fine, your heart was breaking a little every time your hopes that maybe he'll show up today, crushed.

For a whole week you waited for him. Surely he must have some kind of explanation? That was what you've been telling yourself. But you couldn't take it any longer.

As you were walking inside the building, you noticed leena standing by the gate and hoped that she wouldn't notice the tremble in your smile. "what are you doing here?" you asked and she smiled at you "just here to pick my babes up" a small but genuine giggle left your lips as she hooked her arm around yours. You both started walking towards the elevator but what you didn't notice was that she was glancing by her shoulder again and again.

You notice the change in her expression as you both stepped inside the elevator "is everything okay? " she looked at you startled before looking at the elevator doors closing and sighed mumbling "don't make me regret this"

You panted, running down the stairs as fast as you could, Leena's words running in your mind

"I've been noticing him behind you every time you came home since a few days. At first I thought I was wrong so I waited for you by the gate. And I was right. He was there y/n. He has been there since that day."

You hoped you weren't late as you rounded the wall and ran towards the gate. What if you were late? What if he was gone?

He wasn't

Yoongi's eyes widened when he saw you running towards him and he hoped you hadn't seen him as he sat in cat and speeded out of the area. He knew this was stupid. He shouldn't be here. But he couldn't help it. What if those two guys saw you when you were alone? You were safe as long as you were with him. But what if you ran into them when he wasn't by your side? That was the reason he had been silently walking behind you at a distance as you walked home. Yes he felt like an absolute creep but it didn't matter.

He thought there was no chance he would get caught.

How wrong he was.

He swears he almost had a fucking heart attack when he saw you running towards him.

Leena caught up with you, panting even more as she touched your arm "i-is he here?" she wheezed, her eyes widened when you sniffled shaking your head "he's gone''you whispered wiping the tear that managed to escape and looked at her with a determined face "I'm going to see him" "no you're not" she said firmly "it's getting dark y/n. There's a possibility of snowing and you told me he lives in a bad area!" "leena" you grabbed her shoulders "I need to see him. I'll take a taxi. Please" you begged "I need to see him" she sighed closing her eyes "can't you go tomorrow? " "I'm scared I won't be able to see him again if I don't go now" her eyes widened as the realisation set in "you love him" she whispered taking in your eyes. And now she knew that she wouldn't be able to stop you no matter what she did.

You had to walk a small distance because the driver refused to go in the area so you were left with a pounding heart and cold limbs. The sky was almost dark and it looked like it was about to snow soon. How stupid you are.

"yoongi!" your fist pounded against the wooden door as you called him "I know you're in there!" you shouted with a trembling form "open the door, I saw your car!" no answer.

Fresh, angry tears filled your eyes "you can't just hide in there after doing all those things!" another pound "stop being a coward and talk to me! " again no answer.

A few tears glided down your flushed cheeks as your voice got lower and lower "I know you were there yoongi" you sniffled, your voice coming out whispered as your fist slammed against the door in a weak thump "I know you didn't mean those things. So stop hiding from me please"

His heart broke with yours.

"if you don't open the door now then I'll assume that you don't want anything to do with me" you sniffled "I won't see you again" isn't that what he wanted? So why was his heart breaking so painfully?

You waited for a few more minutes, but your tears ran free when he didn't open the door "okay. I got your answer" you whispered " I won't bother you again"

His heart dropped in panic but he didn't make any move to stop you as he heard your steps disappearing.

You sniffled wiping your tears as you continued walking away from his house. Snow was starting to fall and the sky was fully dark so you doubted you'd get any taxi here. So you opted to walk a little further down the street in hopes that there will be atleast one taxi on the main door.

"isn't that yoongi's girl?" "I think she is" your heart beat increased when you heard hushed whispers and noticed two men leaned against a wall "did he dump her?" one of them chuckled and you increased your speed, clutching your phone tightly "who cares. She's a fine little thing. Maybe we can get some tonight" you forced yourself not to cry as you heard them laugh but your heart dropped when one of them suddenly blocked your way. "hey doll face" your hands trembled as you took a step back, only for him to step forward.

Yoongi. You need yoongi.

Your panic only increased when he blowed the cigeratte's smoke on your face causing you to fall in a fit of cough as you took a few steps back. But suddenly, you noticed the man's eyes widening slightly before your back bumped in a chest and a familiar arm wrapped around your waist.

You almost cried out when he spoke "do we have a problem?" his arm around you tightened when you slumped against him in relief. "y-yoongi" the man's smile was fake and his eyes showed resentment as he took a step back "no problem" he raised a hand to show he didn't mean any harm. You heard yoongi scoff before he gave the man a small nod and turned around with you in his arms "let's go home sweetheart" he mumbled kissing the side of your head.

You could hear his heart pounding and you noticed his whole body was tensed as he mumbled "don't look back, doll" you could only nod and some of the tension left his body when his house came in your view. He opened the door and pushed you in before taking a look around the street and Walking inside too. You saw him lock the door and your bottom lip trembled when he turned around and looked at you with so much anger in his eyes.

"are you out of your mind!?" he growled out each word with every step he took in front you, until he was standing inches away from you "what would have happened if I didn't came there when I did?" his jaw was tight when he gripped your arms and pulled you towards him. A soft gasp left your lips when he pulled you in his chest and his arms around your form tightened when he realised you were shaking. "it could have gotten a lot worse" he gritted as you gripped his shirt, feeling his heart pounding and his chest heaving as he breathed heavily "but it didn't" you whispered pulling back slightly and a muscle in his jaw ticked at your words. As much as he wanted to stand there and hold you in his arms, to assure himself that you were okay,He noticed that you were still shaking.

"fuck you're trembling" he pulled back, swiftly pulling the throw blanket and wrapped it around your form before going to light the fire in the fireplace. All the while, you stood there looking at him as he rushed in his room after lighting the fire and came back a second later with another, more thicker blanket. "yoongi I'm fine-" "shut your mouth" he gave you a glare so dark that you didn't dare to open your mouth as he wrapped you up in the thick blanket.

After he was sure that your trembles had subsided, only then did he allowed himself to breath. You watched him unsure as he turned his back on you and rubbed his face. Frustration clearly visible in his voice "didn't I tell you not to come here again?" you almost cowered under his stare but then remembered why you came here in the first place. Slowly, anger rose inside you "if you didn't want me to come here then why were you following me?" he flinched at the sharpness of your tone, his eyes softening when he saw the unshed tears in your eyes "that was for your safety-" "I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself yoongi-" "is that why you walked in here all alone when it was getting dark?" now it was your turn to flinch, a tear escaping your eyes which you wiped angrily "you don't get to act like this after how you treated me last week" you jabbed a finger on his chest as your bottom lip trembled "you can't pretend to care about me after using me and throwing me away-" before you could complete your sentence, his lips crashed on yours and he pushed you against the nearest wall he could find.

You could almost feel the heat of anger radiating from his body as he kissed you with fevour. It was not a sweet and gentle kiss. He kissed you like he wanted to devour you. He kissed you like a starved man. He sucked and bite your lips until they were raw and red. Only when you squeezed his shoulder, did he pull back, breathing heavily.

"used you?" he growled sucking the sweet spot in your neck harshly causing you to let out a broken moan "throw you away?" another growl, his hand holding the back of your neck as he pulled you in another rough kiss. "you have no fucking idea how much I regretted pushing you away. And don't forget this, doll. I'll rather burn myself alive before I even think about hurting you" with that, he was gone.

"yoongi-" you reached for him as he pulled away like he was burned but his words halted your actions "what if-" he looked at you with blood shot eyes and you realised that the wetness on your cheek wasn't from your tears but his own. "what if that fucker was armed? You know I never step out of this house without my gun. But you're making me do things that I've never done before" he looked pained, so pained that it hurt your heart "when I ran out of this house I thought I would never see you again. Even though that would be better, I wanted to be selfish. I've never wanted to be this selfish before but right now I want you so bad that I'm willing to break my rules for you"

He breathed heavily as he looked at you with raw emotions "you're going to be the death of me angel" he whispered "and thank fuck because I would die a happy man if you'd be the one killing me" something inside you snapped and you did something that you'd never dream of doing. Pushing the blankets off of you ran towards him and crushed your lips on his. His arms caught you effortlessly as you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him with every unsaid emotion. "fuck" he panted against your lips as you pushed him until you both were standing in front of the fire place and only then did you pulled back, giggling breathlessly when he chased your lips.

Cupping his face you looked at him nervously, the earlier courage slowly melting away "I want you,yoongi'' You whispered as he leaned his forehead against yours "I want all of you. Even the side that you think is ugly" he shook his head, his hands desperately pulling you closer despite his actions "I won't be able to let you go after this, angel. I don't dese-" "yes you do" you said firmly, your arousal increasing as he looked at with eyes dark with lust and something else that didn't dared to name "take me" you whispered before softly pressing your lips on his own.

A small gasp left his lips, his hands shaking as he slowly pulled the sweater off of your body, before pulling back for a second to yank his jacket off. You looked at him nervously as his fingers slowly pulled the strings of your top "is this okay? " he murmured, staring in your eyes as the strings came off, revealing your cleavage and something that you wanted to hide. You nodded nervously and only then did his eyes fell on your chest. You held his hand when his face went blank and even though you wanted to cover yourself and hide under that big blanket, you took a step back and pulled the top over your head, before letting it fall on the ground.

Yoongi's lips parted as your bra claded chest came in his view. But that wasn't what took his attention. You timidly folded your arms over your stomach as he stared at the burn marks on your forearms and shoulders. There were a few of them on your wrist and the lower part of your neck too. That was the reason you always wore clothes that covered your arms and neck.

When he didn't said anything, your self consciousness started increasing "a-are they ugly?" your timid whisper broke him out of the spell and he took a sharp breath at your words. A darkness unfurled in his eyes. Without saying anything, he yanked his t shirt off, letting it fall on the floor and turned around.

His eyes fell shut when you gasped, a small whisper leaving your lips "oh yoongi" he didn't turn around when he heard you walking towards him. Nor did he move when you lightly grazed his back where multiple cigeratte burns along with some scars were scattered. He flinched when you pressed your lips on one of the scar, his hand clenching by his side as you kissed another burn mark, then another, and another, until he could feel your warmth all the way in his heart. He slowly turned around in your arms and cupped your face, before kissing you with every ounce of passion he could gather. He wanted you to know how much he appreciates you. How much he longed for you. How much he loved-

His heart started pounding at the realisation as he gently pulled you down with him. A soft sigh leaving your lips at the warmth of both his body, and the fire besides you both as you laid on the soft carpet. Your breath hitched when his fingers wrapped around the strap of your white lace bra and when you gave a small nod, he gently pulled you up and unhooked the bra with one hand before letting it fall on the floor. your breath quickened as his eyes took in your full breast, his lips pulling you in a deep kiss while his hand massaged your breast causing a soft sigh to leave your lips.

"yoongi... " you sighed,running your hands through his hair as his kisses trailed downwards, kissing along your chest before taking on of your nipples in his mouth. Your back arched as he made sure to give the other one the same attention, and once he was satisfied, he lips traveled else where.

Tears filled your eyes when you realised he was kissing the burn marks. The one that you hated. The one that made you feel ugly. "I want all of you too" he said hoarsely as you covered your face with your hands, nodding shakily. Yoongi chose to show you he meant what he said with his actions. His fingers danced over your soft skin and he gave the softness of your belly a fond caress before his fingers inched closer to the button of your Jeans "raise your hips for me, love" he mumbled kissing over your belly button and you did as he said, allowing him to take if your pants and leaving you in a pair of white panties which were soaked "fuck" he rasped, pressing a kiss on your clothed cunt and relishing in your shaky gasp.

"relax and let me make you feel good, angel" he murmured looking at you for a moment to make sure you were alright and when you nervously reached out for him, his hand gripped yours firmly but gently. Your eyes clenched shut when he took off your panties, leaving you in your most vulnerable form in front of him. "are you okay?" he mumbled and your heart soared. You lost count of how many times he made sure you were okay. "yes" you whispered looking at him with a timid smile which he returned with a soft one of his own.

A loud gasp left your lips when he kissed your cunt before gripping your hips and pulling you in until his face was buried in between your thighs. Your eyes fell shut at the new feeling as he sucked your clit like a starved man eating his last meal. His eyes closed at the tangy taste of your arousal and a guttural groan left his lips as you gushed even more. A deep blush rose on your cheeks when he inhaled your intimate scent deeply before pushing his tongue inside your womanhood.

Your back arched and your finger desperately tugged on his hair as he sucked your clit and his free hand played with your nipple, pinching and tugging it until you were panting in want. "o-oh yoongi" your eyes rolled at the back of your head when he pushed a finger inside you and easily found your sweet spot. The sound of squelching becoming louder and louder as you got more wet by the second and you would have been embarrassed if your climax wasn't approaching so rapidly.

It seemed he knew you were about to come because he increased his speed, taking turns in sucking your clit and fucking you with his tongue "come for me y/n. Give it to me" the Way he said your name, so deeply and dark with desires, it was enough to throw you into another level of pleasure and edge you closer to your orgasm which washed over you like a truck.

Your back arched and mouth hanged opened as you came hard, with him greedily drinking every drop of love you gave him. He came up besides you as you slowly came down from your high and pushed your hair out of your face before kissing you softly. A whimper leaving your lips as you tasted yourself on his lips.

"are you okay? " he mumbled, kissing your head when you nodded with shy smile "do you want to stop here, or keep going?" you have no idea how he can be so patient and calm when his arousal which you were trying hard not to stare looked so big and well hard. Wasn't it painful?

You blushed deeply and nodded whispering "I want to be close to you" and pulled him towards yourself "you're close to me doll" he rasped kissing you softly "closer" you begged softly and the darkness in his eyes returned. He left you for a second to stand up and take off his pants, all the while keeping his eyes on you. But the second the burn marks came in his view, the dark fury returned again. Suddenly all he wanted to do was find the people who did this to you and make them regret their whole lives. But that can wait. This was all about you.

You gasped when he pulled down his boxers, your pussy clenching around nothing as a soft moan left your lips, noticing the pre cum already forming. He was big. So big that you wondered if it would even fit inside you. You watched shyly as he took out a condom from his jean's pocket and rolled it over his dick, hissing at the sensitivity. You reached for him, and he took your hand without any hesitation as you parted your legs for him.

He breathed sharply when his cock rubbed against your cunt, both of you moaning simultaneously at the feeling. "I don't want to hurt you" he sighed leaning against your head as you wrapped your arms around his neck. "kiss me doll" you nodded shyly pressing your lips on his and at the same time, he gently pushed inside you. Well as gentle as he can with the way you were squeezing him so tightly. A small cry left your lips which caused him to stop immediately as he cursed under his breath "fuck doll do you want me to stop?" he rasped wiping your tears softly and frowned when you shaked your head "don't force yourself angel" " Im not. Keep going please" you whispered softly kissing him again.

He started pushing inside you again, reminding you to breath all the while controlling himself with a tight jaw. He buried his face in your neck as you sighed softly. "you good? " he nodded not moving at all and you nodded with a small wince which he noticed immediately .He knew that distracting you would be the best option.

"do you like coffee? " you looked at him surprised before a smile brightened your face and you nodded.

"what was the name of your cat?" he mumbled nuzzling his nose against yours "cloud" "cloud? " he raised an eyebrow and you nodded giggling softly "she was as white as a cloud" he nodded "cute"

"which is your favorite weather?" "monsoon" you smiled.

"do you like snow? " "very"

"do you like hot chocolate?" "yes''

"do you like me?" "....very"

It was a shy whisper but it was enough to make both of your hearts pound.

And with that, he pulled back and slowly thrusted in deeply. It was enough to part your lips in a loud moan. His thrusts were deep and powerful, his cock huge enough to brush against every curve of your womanhood and his thrusts powerful enough for your whole body to thrust upwards everytime he thrusted in.

A deep groan left his lips, his eyes trained on your breasts which bounced with every thrust. You reached for his hand and he held it immediately, pressing your intertwined hands besides your head while the other one supported himself on top of you. Your legs wrapped around his torso and your nails scratched his back as his groans and growls along with your moans filled the room.

His pace was getting faster with each second as he pulled you in a deep kiss. ''y-yoongi feels so good-" you let out a broken moan as he hit your g spot again and again "fuck" he grunted feeling you clench around him hard. Growling lowly he increased his speed, your eyes falling shut and your back arching causing your soft breast to press against his firm and hard chest "dammit doll you keep doing that and I won't be able to hold it any longer" he groaned when you clenched around him again, his own climax approaching rapidly when he felt your walls fluttering around him signalling you were close. "yoongi I feel so close-" you cried out when he slammed inside you again and again, the sound of skin slapping increasing as he fucked you with fevour. The old deep and slow thrusts disappearing as he pounded inside you.

''come with me doll. I've got you" he gritted and your lips parted with a loud moan as your second orgasm washed over you, edging him closer to his own. "fuck-!" he gasped biting your shoulder to muffle his moans but even with that, you heard his next words loud and clear, which caused a flutter around your heart "I love you so fucking much y/n-"

Pants and heavy breathing filled the room as he fell on top of you and buried his face in your sweaty chest. After another moment of silence, he mumbled "I meant what I said angel" you smiled tiredly, wrapping your tired limbs around him "I love you too yoongi" his tense form relaxed against you and he pressed soft kiss on whatever skin he could reach before slowly pulling out of you. He frowned when you winced and with a small grunt, he stood up and picked you up in his arms, a soft smile blooming in his face as your soft giggle reached his ears.

"are you okay?" he mumbled walking towards his bedroom. You nodded snuggling In his bare chest "just a little sore" he gently laid you on the bed and walked in the bathroom to bring a wet towel. You blushed as he cleaned you up gently before rolling the condom and throwing it in the bin.

And finally, as he laid on the bed, you scooted closer until he took you in his arms, rubbing your bare back softly enough to lull you Into a sweet slumber. "can I ask you something? " he mumbled and you nodded sleepily "who did this to you doll" you stiffened in his arms, your heart squeezing at the protectiveness in his voice. After a second of silence, you whispered "my parents" it was his turn to stiffen up as anger rose high inside him "your parents?" he mumbled darkly, his arms around you tightening when you sniffled softly "t-they.. Well-" "you don't have to tell me doll. I'm sorry for asking''he said quietly but you shaked your head and kissed his jaw "it's okay. I-i need to talk about this" he waited for you patiently as you took a deep breath "t-they were drug addicts" he took a sharp breath "people told me that they were addicts since years. They stopped when I was born but after a while, they started doing them again. It got really bad. So bad that they would get mad at everything I did. As a punishment, they would burn me" you whispered the last sentence and his arms around you tightened "they didn't stop until they had an overdose and died when I was 7"

7. At that young age you had to suffer all that. Your own parents did that to you when you were so small. When you were just a child. That's why you had reacted like that when he told you that sang u might die of an OD. fuck he has been hurting you ever since you came in his life and yet you're still willing to be with him.

"what about you?'' you asked quietly snuggling in his chest and hugging him tighter. His heart soared. You were trying to comfort him. How long had it been since someone comforted him? "my uncle" he mumbled, his voice emotionless "he's an alcoholic. Was fucked up in his own ways and fucked me up too" he chucked dryly "I was 13 when he got thrown in the hospital" he held you a little tighter "he's still dying in that hospital and will die there without seeing any of his family's face'' "I'm so sorry" you whispered and He chuckled softly "you don't have anything to be sorry of, angel."

Even when he told you that, you still kissed him softly which comforted him in every way he could imagine. He knew he didn't deserve you. But fuck he wanted to be selfish. And he is going to be.

As you slept peacefully in his arms, he thought about what your life together will be like. And that night he made many decisions. Getting the hell out of this place and leaving this business was one of them. You didn't know it yet but he would do anything and everything in his power to give you anything you wanted.

~•~

A soft giggle left your lips as you felt soft lips tickling your skin and a fond smile lifted your lips when you felt his large hand cupping your barely visible tummy. "mmm are you leaving? " you whispered sleepily kissing him back, laughing as he groaned against your lips "thinking of not going today," you glared at him "this is the 3rd time you're not going to work in a week" "so? I'm the boss so I can take as many day off I want. Besides" he smirked getting under the covers and rubbing your bare stomach softly "I'd much rather spend the day with my wife and my child" you gasped giggling when his lips attacked yours.

Well guess who's taking another day off.

Yoongi left the business soon after when you both got together 6 years ago. He moved into another relatively nicer area and started doing less shady jobs like bar tending and working in restaurants until he met another ambitious man like himself. Kim namjoon and min yoongi founded a security company together which is now thriving. And 4 Years later, you both got married. Now life couldn't get better with your husband and your unborn child.

"I love you doll"

"I love you too yoongs"

@xjiminsthighsx @bri-mal @bunnyrhe @rosquilleta @raineandskye @shymagda-7 @creatorspalace @yoonaasa @iheartsvt @xmochiloverx @kyojuro-ska @meow-min @kissme-ornot @wobblewobble822 @kookieaddicted96 @thelilbutifulthings @joonsblossom @Atherosworld@jlee97

#yoonlattesworld #yoongi x reader fluff #yoongi x reader #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader one shot #yoongi x reader angst #min yoongi x reader smut #yoongi x reader smut #min yoongi smut #bts smut #yoongi angst #bts x reader #yoongi fanfiction #bts fluff

[astarionxhappiness]

This is my first piece of writing in about five or so years, so thank you Astarion for giving me that fire again.

I did my best to find all the typos, but this was written on my phone at about 1 AM while half asleep, and autocorrect is a bitch, so bear with me.

Prompt: you have a bad past of sexual abuse, but catch feelings for Astarion.

Word Count: A little over 4,000 words

Warnings: mentions of sexual abuse if you squint a bit. Fluff. Lots of fluff.

The two of you had been traveling together for some time now. And while you had gotten of to a rocky start, you felt that you had grown a rather strong bond over the past months.

Though you supposed that facing constant and never ending threats, as well as having a tadpole connecting your very minds could do that to anyone.

Having to constantly put your life into another's hands like that. . All of your trust. And in turn, they offered you the same.

It had been years since you had felt such trust for a person. Such faith and warmth. And to a vampire spawn no less.

The thought made you smile to yourself with great amusement, biting your bottom lip absently and tugging.

Perhaps it wasn't even putting your trust in a vampire spawn. . Perhaps it felt funny to find yourself putting your trust in him.

"What's so funny?"

The words knocked you from your daze, bringing your attention back to the world around you.

The sound of the crackling fire, the uncomfortable log making your ass sore the longer you remained seated on it. The night air chilling your skin through the thin fabric of your tunic.

"Tav?" Astarion's voice sounded again, ever demanding. His tone made you look over at him quickly.

"You keep doing that today. . Are you falling ill or something?" You did not offer a response to this rhetorical question, knowing it was asked out of fussiness from being ignored, rather than genuine concern.

"I'm just thinking," you replied, glancing over at him again. "Nothing is funny."

You had had a hard time looking at him all day. You knew it had to do with the dream you had had the night before, though you were still having trouble admitting it to yourself.

The very memories of it made you feel flush.

"Oh?" He quirked a brow as he gazed at you from the corner of his eye, his head tilted back in a manner that showed off his jaw nicely.

"And what is it you're thinking about so intently then, hm? It must be something quite interesting to have you so distracted." The suggestive smile and knowing glint in his eye made you flush, looking away bashfully.

"Whatever you think it is, I can assure you it isn't that," you replied with vehemence, listening to him burst into musical laughter.

"Oh, it truly is so much fun to tease you, darling" he replied, tilting his head to look at you, a smile dancing on his lips that showed off his fangs.

"So what was it, then? If not the idea of me ravishing your body?" He had been making such jokes more and more for weeks now, but the immersion did nothing to stop your face from going red once more, forcing you to look away from him so he wouldn't see.

Not that it truly mattered. You knew he could tell exactly what your reaction was. Hence the reason he loved to make comments.

"Astarion, could I ask you something?" You found the nervous words leaving your mouth before you could stop them, making your body tense.

Your head remained bowed, gazing intently at your lap.

The smile fell from his lips, a look of uncertain curiosity taking place in his features instead.

"What's on your mind, darling?" He asked, making you wring your hands together.

"Do you. . Do you actually like being with people?" The question made him pause for just a moment before a smile cracked the far more real expression that had come before it.

A breathless laugh left his lips.

"Of course," he replied, unwilling to admit to the possibility that that was in fact a lie.

He felt the question was building to something more, and he was unwilling to make himself unavailable should you want him.

His eyes squinted slightly in curiosity when you offered little more than a nod of your head, wringing your hands together.

"So. . So you enjoy. . Being touched?" You glanced over at him, tensing harder when you found his inquisitive gaze already looking back at you.

"Why are you asking me these things my sweet?" He asked. "Is it perhaps. . Because you really would like for me to touch you?" He brought his hand out to very lightly cover your wrist, making your breath catch.

Silence grew thickly between the two if you as your response to the question remained stuck firmly in your throat.

You startled violently when footsteps sounded from off to your left, followed by Wyll's voice.

"Are you two coming to eat? Gale's just finished cooking. " He hesitated as he spoke, watching Astarion's hand slide subtly off your wrist.

"I am actually not feeling particularly well," you replied, flustered as you got to your feet. "Excuse me." They both watched you go, having similar expressions if uncertainty as Astarion stood up next to Wyll.

You remained in your tent for the remainder of the evening, listening to the others talking and laughing over warm food.

You shivered absently as you laid on your bedroll, the thick furs feeling less warm than usual. You hoped that it was simply the nights getting colder, but you had a feeling it was rather your thoughts giving the impression of warmth leaving your body.

You shut your eyes, your fingers tracing the palm of your other hand tucked by your face as you heard Astarion reciting one of his favorite stories to the others, undoubtedly keeping the company of a nice glass of wine.

The tips of your fingers traced down to your wrist where his hand had covered just a few hours before, your mind wandering back to the dream that had corrupted your thinking all day.

You had sworn off touch long ago. Your experience with it being only violent and cruel.

You did not want it.

A simple brush of the shoulder led to temptation of touching one's arm. Then, perhaps the urge to move in closer. Feel their breath against your skin, inhale their scent. .

These were temptations that people seemed incapable to control.

No! You wouldn't risk it! Not again! Not ever again.

You would not be used for another's pleasure.

And yet. . Astarion had touched you, had he not? Not just tonight, but other times as well. Whether it was catching you mid trip, protecting you in a fight . . even waking you from a nightmare or two. .

You took in a deep breath as these memories crossed your mind. The feel of his hands clutching your shoulders, his soothing, concerned voice as he tried to calm you down.

You had felt faint that night, waking with the air out of your lungs.

You had fallen against him, your hands shaking, weakly grasping at his arms as you tried not to faint. You could still feel the sensation of your temple resting against his broad chest. The feeling of his cool hand coming to rest on the side if your head.

He had never stopped talking while you worked through your panic attack. Plenty of it was not actually comforting, but the simple sound of his voice grounded you. And his touch made you feel drunk.

You had pushed those feelings away after that night. but after your dream, after the vivid sensation of his touch against your skin, his soft voice easing your tension. . You knew the sensation. It was too vivid not to have been spawned from a memory.

That feeling of safety. . Never had you expected to ever feel it in your life. .

You bit your lip as you curled in on yourself, wrapping an arm around your torso.

If your fears were right, and all touching always led to pain and violence, then why had Astarion never tried anything?

Even tonight, the touch had been. . Gentle. Hesitant, almost. Offering the option for you to pull away if you so pleased.

But you didn't. Something about it felt right. Like having a taste of water when you didn't realize just how thirsty you were.

Perhaps. . Just maybe, it was possible to find safety with him.

You trusted him with your life, after all.

And from things he had told you in the past, you got the feeling he would understand the fear you had of being taken advantage of more than anyone.

Your attention was grabbed by the sounds of everyone getting ready to head to bed, most likely due to the rain that had begun falling, making it's presence known to you by tapping rhythmically against your tent.

You bit your lip, feeling your stomach twisting at the resolve you made.

You would just ask him. What was the worst that could happen?-

You had to stop your brain from answering this question.

It took you a little under ten minutes to harden your resolve.

You kicked off the thick fur blanket, stuffed your feet in your unlaced boots, and headed for the vampire's tent across the camp from yours.

Except, by the time your feet stopped in front of his tent, your resolve had weakened once more, leaving you standing in the dark with rain slowly absorbing into the thin layers of your clothes.

You were already shaking with nerves by the time that thunder boomed in the sky so loudly it had you yelping in surprise, your mind having been far more preoccupied with other things than the lightning overhead. flinging yourself through the flap of fabric that covered the entrance of his tent, you froze as you laid eyes on the man laying in the dim lamp light.

Your entrance made Astarion look up with a start from the spot on his bed, his finger marking the page of his book he had been reading.

He looked confused by your odd entrance, though your meek posture and flushed skin made him smile at you. It rather made your head dizzy and your feet want to run.

"Hello, beautiful," he greeted, his tone ever seductive. "I figured I would be seeing you again tonight." He shut his book in a way that had you wondering how many times he had practiced the motion in order to get just the right amount of seduction out of it.

He was. . Everything that you were not in such moments.

Confident, charismatic, smooth and seductive. Experienced, and more or less functioning.

You looked down, hands clasped before you.

"I-i didn't mean to bother you," you whispered, finding yourself far more nervous than you normally were.

"I just. . I wanted to ask you. ." You shut your eyes as your cheeks went bright red.

He couldn't help but notice the soft tremor rattling your body. Your meek position was not one he often saw you possessing. Only in moments when you were truly terrified or nervous about something.

It was, much to his horror, rather.. endearing.

He had only seen you in such a state a spare few times, but when he did, he had the odd urge to handle whatever it was causing it.

And in this case, he felt certain that the thing causing you trouble, he could definitely take care of.

He stood up, moving over to you, making your heart beat quicken with nerves.

He had a way of looming that made you want to flee.

When you flinched back from him, suddenly rethinking if your request was such a good idea, you watched to your great surprise as he took a step back, frowning.

"Are you scared of me?" He asked with sudden realization.

The action had not been made out of anticipation, or longing. No. . People did not flinch like that unless they expected something unpleasant to happen.

You looked up at him with round, horrified eyes.

"No!" You replied quickly, your body trembling a bit harder.

"I- no, of course not, I just-" he turned his head to the right slightly as he continued to look at you, frowning as he brows furrowed.

"I just get- nervous, with people. . Touching me," you finally managed to get out, sounding royally ashamed.

You had survived an illithid tadpole swimming around in your skull, the crashing of a ship you you were on only because of being abducted, countless perilous fights, and even knocked the head off of one or two goblins without ever skipping a beat.

But this. Proximity to someone that had never once tried to murder you, or handle you in a way you didn't want to be handled. . This terrified you?

It was only then that he realized you had always avoided being touched by others. You had never shown interest in any form of romance, or even friendly pats on the shoulder by the others in your little party.

You had always managed to casually and seamlessly avoid such interactions.

"Why do you get nervous being touched?" He asked, though he had his suspicions. "I assure you, love, there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of." He offered his hand out to you, but made no further attempt at contact. Remaining a respectful distance from you.

You looked away, a part of you desperately wanting to reach out and grasp his hand, feel the sensation that you had found yourself desperate to for.

You did not, however. You remained rigidly shaking in place as you looked away.

"You. . You said that Cazador, . . That he made you do things you didn't want to do? With him? And. . Others? " You whispered nervously.

It had been a conversation you had had with him some weeks ago, out on a ledge relaxing beneath the stars while the others slept.

He frowned at the mention, dropping his hand when the offer was not accepted.

"Yes," he replied, seeming slightly more guarded. "Why?"

You tensed as another roar of thunder raged in the sky, your eyes shutting.

"Well- someone. . Someone did things to me. To hurt me, and- and use me-" you looked up at him, eyes round and nervous, a part of you expecting to be met with disgust.

The expression you were met with however, was one of a silent understanding. The defense in his gaze softened.

Though the bitterness remained, you felt certainty that it was not directed towards you.

"I see," he replied, his suspicions finally being confirmed.

"So why are you here, then?" He tilted his head back slightly. "Trying to rewrite the pain in your past?" He guessed. "Well, I'm okay with that. Happy to be of service, darling." He offered you a charming smile as his weight shifted to one hip, his hand coming up to hang loosely at the wrist.

"No, actually," you replied, watching the false happiness slip off his features. "I-. . I wanted to ask if. . You would want. . " you scrunched your face, looking tortured.

"I can read your thoughts if you'd rather not say it aloud," he offered when you fell silent.

You looked only more pained by this offer, but nodded mutely, opening your mind to him as the request was caught in your throat.

He shut his eyes was he felt the connection take hold, swimming in your thoughts to latch on to the question stuck in your mind.

"Do I want to cuddle?" He demanded in confusion, taking an affronted step back, letting out a breathless laugh as he looked at you.

You tensed, shaking just a little harder at his reaction, your stomach twisting in a manner that made you glad you had not eaten that evening.

"I-. . No one's ever asked me that before," he went on, the vehemence in his voice dissipating as he looked at you, features taking on more trouble attributes.

He looked at you quietly, your small form shivering, your clothes clinging to your body wetly, making him wonder how long you had been outside his tent, too scared to come in and ask for such an odd. . Innocent, request.

The strange part was, it. . Sounded rather pleasant.

You had never asked anything of him before. You offered loyalty to him and never asked for anything in return. Not even his own loyalty to you.

You had fought for him. Saved him. Cared for his wounds, and been there for him in moments when he felt he could open up.

"I-" he hesitated as you stayed silently staring at him, waiting for something bad to happen.

He did not need an tadpole to read the nervousness and fear in your mind.

"-i think I would rather like tjat," he found himself genuinely admitting.

He offered his hand again to you, his demeanor soft and delicate. The same demeanor he had offered when he held you when you couldn't catch a healthy rhythm with your breathing.

You looked down at his hand, hesitantly stepping forward and putting your hand over his, feeling a rush if excitement and longing rush through you as you felt his fingers wrap gently around your hand.

You took another step closer to him, your mind almost blank as you shut your eyes, and wordless pressed your body against his in a gentle, soothing hug.

He hesitated as you did this, fairly certain no one had ever hugged him before this very moment.

It felt. . Warm. . Comforting, almost.

Safe.

He wrapped his arm around you after a moment of uncertainty, the hold tenuous and hesitant.

He kept your hand in his, pressed between your bodies up against your chests.

He shut his eyes, feeling himself melting into the embrace.

When you pulled away finally and looked up at him, he quietly used your hand still in his to tug you with him towards the bed on the ground. He sat down on top of the blanket, looking up at you wordlessly, his hand still tenderly grasping yours.

You took in a deep breath, looking down at him intently as you sat on the ground in front of him on folded legs, taking in another deep breath with nervous giddiness from the proximity.

It felt just as you had dreamed it. The warmth, the tenderness. .

You leaned forward for what Astarion instinctively expected to be a kiss, but found himself freezing when you pressed your forehead tenderly against his, your eyes shutting.

The soft little breaths you took in to try and calm yourself, soaking up the touch in a manner that clearly felt euphoric- it was not things that went unnoticed by the vampire spawn.

You were. . Positively adorable. The gentle way you hesitantly brought your hands up to let the very tips of your fingers touch either side of his face. The soft, earnest expression you wore as you soaked up the feeling of being touched . .

He shut his eyes, bringing his hands up to gently cover your hands, feeling your tadpole reaching out to his, should he want it.

Curious, he reached out, and felt himself tale an inhale as a feeling of warmth washed over him.

Feelings of care, and trust. understanding, and longing.

But not for the thing most people wanted from him. . It was a longing to be to see, as well as be seen. A longing for understanding.

He brought his hand to press against the mid of your back, gentle and coaxing, you slowly agreed to the request, and let him guide your body to press against his.

The touch felt so different than usual. Perhaps it was the connection of the tadpole, but it felt warm, and safe

You felt safe.

He had never felt such a sensation before in his life. To genuinely trust someone. To care for them.

There were small, subtle glimpse of pain in your thoughts. Ones that he found he wanted to prod at further, but resisted.

He brushed his nose against yours mindlessly, and you returned the action, feeling entranced as he opened his own mind mind you in return, letting you see how cared for you were with him.

You melted further into the touch, slipping your arms around his back, a hand coming up to the back of his hair mindlessly to play with the soft silver locks.

He brought his hands to your sides, keeping you pressed against him as he carefully headed backwards so you rested down on top of him, his fingers coming to run along the divot of your spine.

Wrapping your leg around him, you settled comfortably against him, the heaviness of your body on top of him feeling like a pleasant weighted blanket.

He let his hands roam along your wet clothes before making their way into your damp hair.

He wanted to ask how long exactly you had been out there to have gotten so wet, be he refrained, simply listening to the rain hit the tent as you both soaked up the comforting touch.

You folded the blanket up around the two of you after a time, and felt him roll you both a moment later.

You opened your eyes softly to look at him, gently resting your forehead against his once kore, though there was no tadpole connecting you this time.

"If you ever want someone," you whispered, bringing your fingers up to tenderly touch his cheek. "If you ever want to talk, or just. . Have someone to be with, I am here." You brushed your nose against his, watching his lids fall half closed.

He looked like he wanted to respond, but was perhaps, for the first time in his life, at a loss for words.

He felt an overwhelming sense for gratitude towards the offer. He had told you things before, but it had been in moments of weakness, or because it was necessary.

He had never shared just because.

"Well," he finally whispered, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "This. . Offer, goes for you as well." He looked down, clearly trying his best, but having a hard time with more vulnerability.

"Thank you," you murmured, inching a little closer. "I'm. . Astarion, I'm so sorry, for everything you had to go through." The words were spoken with great feeling, your heart aching thinking about of of the things be had admitted to happening.

"It's in the past now, well isn't it," he replied, stroking your cheek. "But. . Thank you, love," he added with a great deal more hesitancy.

You smiled slightly, which he found did odd things to his insides.

He sighed mentally to himself. He was not going to allow himself to feel things things for you- he couldn't.

You were just-

His breathing froze as you shifted up, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and head as you shifted him so his head rested against your chest, the position feeling incredibly shielding and warm.

He felt his stomach twist, his throat strangely tight.

He wrapped his arm around your torso hesitantly after a moment, apprehensive.

No one had ever- held him before. It was not how this worked-

And yet. . He found his eyes falling shut with sudden exhaustion.

He cursed you, unsure what exactly it was about your touch that had him feeling so. . Melty. But it was unaccept-

Singing?

His ears perked up slightly, distracted from his thoughts as a sweet, soft melody gripped his attention instead.

His body eased to rest more heavily against you as his muscles relaxed.

Perhaps. . It would be okay just to relax and enjoy for a little while? And then he could get back to his plotting and manipulations later. .

He took in a deep breath, feeling your fingers touching his hair tentatively, running the tips of them through the outer layers of the silvery strands.

The soft vibration of your chest as you switched between signing and humming different parts of the song had him entranced.

You kept your gaze on him as you did so, feeling your stomach twisting with giddiness.

This had been it. It was just like you had dreamed. . The feeling of his arms around you, the dim light of the lantern casting calming shadows.

The tender, warm touch with none of the unpleasantness.

It was everything you had been craving and more.

You shut your eyes after a time, feeling him slowly heating against you as he slipped off into peaceful slumber.

You slipped down sleepily after nearly an hour of just enjoying the position of holding him safely in your arms.

You felt him shift in his sleep as you settled down against him, his arm wrapping around you, pulling you close.

You pressed your forehead against his softly, eyes shutting, feeling his breath tickle your face with every slow exhale.

You let your leg rest loosely in-between his, wrapping your arm around his waist before settling.

You slipped off a little while later to join him in slumber, the soft drumming of the rain and rumbling thunder in the distance lulling you to sleep.

#Astarion #baldur's gate 3 #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #fluff #astarion fluff #astarion fanfic #bg3 #bg3 astarion #baldurs gate #fanfiction #fanfic #astarion romance #astarion ancunin #astarion angst #astarion prompt #astarion one shot #astarion tag

[oval3000]

Chapter 3

Yandere Teacher Nanami x Student Reader

Warning: Abuse, Smut, Abduction, Violence, Rough play, toxic behavior, age gap, everything from all above. Mainly from his point of view...somewhat... modern au- idk. College teacher x student.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

-------------------------------------------------------

He could hear the voice of his fellow female colleague, trying to get his attention. He could hear her light heels speeding up against the floors, "Mr. Nanami? Could you help me with the new test sheets? I have to print a lot and my students are going to come in a few minutes." He rolled his eyes. Not the first time his colleague asked for help even though it was her responsibility to do so herself.

"You were supposed to have them ready the day before," he turned around to face, having his head tilted a bit. He had things to do, and he was a busy man so when someone came in and stopped him, it irritated him dearly.

"I know, but I got caught with the time." She placed her hand on his biceps, she looked at him with a sad expression on her face, "Please."

At that moment he saw another colleague, "Mr. Yamagachi, can you help Miss. Ito with her work?"

"I'm pretty sure Mr. Yamagachi is busy." She smiled letting out a bit of laughter.

"So am I. Next time plan more so you can actually do your job." Nanami turned back around and exited the building. He got into his nice car and drove off.

He pulled up to his new two-story house brick, victorian, home. He closed the dark brown wood door behind him, dropping his briefcase on the floor. He took off his tan blazer off, hanging on the coat rack at the corner of the front entrance. He opened the door to his office and placed his items on the desk. He pinched the bridge of his glasses, pulling them off his face. As he sat down on his chair, his head swung back making him stare at the ceiling. He side-eyed his computer, moving the mouse to turn it on. quickly logging in and going through his gallery. He saw the portfolio of pictures and images of you. Pictures that he took of you during his class. They weren't clear pictures, mostly blurry due to the fact that he had to zoom through the lens to take the pic of you and no one else. A perk of having a bunch of students that don't pay attention is that students won't notice Nanami, sneaking, pulling out his phone, and taking a few pics of you. He made it seem like he was just using his phone, scrolling through whatever. Sure, he has the photo of you that you took when you got your school ID, but it just wasn't enough.

He looked around his desk and imagined the empty space to be filled with pictures of you and him together. Pictures of you holding children. If he wanted to go through this, he needed a nice home. A home that resembles having a family with plenty of rooms and space. He got up and went towards the master bedroom. He walked over to the windows, opening the white curtain revealing a big wood board that covered the whole window, behind the board was another set of white curtains. He tugged on the board to test the strength and smiled to himself to see how secure it was. It wasn't a permanent thing, he'll eventually take it off once you are comfortable. He doesn't even how you'll react towards this, towards him. Are you going to scream? Are you going to try and escape? Or are you going to accept him a be the perfect wife for him? Questions that he wants clear answers to, but the only thing he can get is theories.

He went towards the bed, tugging on the rope that was tied to the headboard, again smiling to himself on how secure it was. He quickly swept the empty side of the closet so it was ready for all of your things. He dusted off half of the empty drawers, ready to be stuffed with your undergarments. The room is fairly large. A nice comfy armrest chair in the corners with a matching stool at the front. The bed, a king-size bed, perfectly centered, the headboard up against the while, and two nightstands on either side of the bed. On the other side, across from the bed, is a door that leads to the bathroom. He picked up the brown, paper, bag from the chair and opened the door to the bathroom. He grabbed all the items from the brown, paper, bag and placed them on the bathroom counter. He crumbled the paper bag and tossed it in the trash. He placed the extra toothbrushes and toothpaste in one of the drawers. He placed the box of pads under the bathroom sink. All hygiene products, he placed them in their designated spot; shampoo, body wash, conditioner, and body scrub. He went back to the room and placed all other products into the white vanity that he built and got for you; hair brush, moisturiser, sunscreen, all types of serums, spray facial mist, hair ties, hair oils, hair blow dryer, lip oils, lip balms, and some nail polishes. The cashier who scanned of of his items was calling him sweet for getting all of this for his significant other. Nanami smiled and thanked her. It was sweet, so you would be happy to be here, right?

He quickly cleaned the rest of the house, settling everything in. Tidying up the kitchen and living room, leaving everything simple and clean. Of course, things can change once you're here. If you want to move things around or add things, Nanami made sure to keep it simple that way you can add your personal touch to the house. Nanami, resting on the couch, turning on the flat-screen TV, resting on top of the fireplace, pulled out his phone and went through your social media post. He never used social media, but he knew he was to get to know you a lot more, so he quickly downloaded them and made fake names. You kept things private so it was a hard time for him to get through, you had friends and relatives who weren't private and who posted things about you. He saw posts that your friends and relatives have put out like the day they took you to celebrate your birthday at a restaurant or when you went to the movies and they posted a 'best day ever' selfie with you in the background. He was lucky to remember the people you talked to when he saw you at the college campus or else he wouldn't know more about you.

He went through many scenarios in his head. Was this the right thing to do? Is this necessary? Would it be easier if he just talked to you and confessed his feelings towards you? After all, what's the worst that can happen? Him being rejected? No. He just can't accept that.

Not when he could feel your body heat as he leaned closer to you, hovering over you. "I'm having trouble with this one Mr. Nanami?"

He placed his hands in front of you almost caging you in. Your back was turned to him as you were sitting down, staring at the question with a wooden pencil in your hand. You were so oblivious about everything it made Nanami go feral. He leaned closer to you, his mouth near your neck, "What are you not understanding, sweetheart?"

"Which formula am I supposed to use when they didn't give the percent number on how much it's been missing?" You said, rereading the question in your head.

"Which one do you think would work the best when one variable is missing, love." His cock felt like it was going to explode with cum on how close and how cute you were to him. He loved this. He enjoyed this.

"This one?" You pointed to one of the formulas tilting your head a bit.

Nanami smiled, "Yes, correct. You're doing amazing." His lips parted, feeling his crotch area getting tight. He thought he was able to control himself by now but clearly, he wasn't. He was thankful that the chair was blocking his hard boner from your back or else his plan was going to come to an end and all of his hard work would've gone to the trash. he saw the way you quickly solved the question of how easily you cached on. His high hopes were showing. Maybe it wouldn't be hard?

Days would go by and eventually, you fully understood everything he had taught you that you miss. You asked Nanami if you were ready to retake the test and he was trying to insist that it's okay to take more time to study, but you told Nanami that you are ready. Nanami enjoyed these moments he had with you even though you had no idea what was going on, he didn't want it to end. He needed you.

He knew that his time was coming close, so when he saw you outside the campus building, sitting on one of the benches, he walked up to you. "Everything alright, (Y/n)?"

You looked up from your phone, "Yes, I'm just waiting for my cab"

"Well," he looked around to find no one. The time stamp during this moment is where there are fewer students, and less crowded. "If you want, I can take you? I'm heading out for my lunch break, I can take you home." You weren't really sure about it. Nanami could see that you were hesitant. "It'll be no problem. Besides you most likely have things to do. Don't want to waste time waiting, right?"

"Right. Okay." You got up, quickly canceling your ride." Thank you, Mr. Nanami." You followed him to his. He opened the passenger side for you. When you got inside his car you were quite surprised at how neat and clean his car was. "You have a nice car, sir."

"Really? I mean, it's just a car in average condition." He said, starting his car and pulling out of the parking lot.

"Well, I guess I've never seen a guy keeping his car in good shape." You said, trying not to keep things awkward between the both of you. You never head a teacher driving you home or anywhere. Yes, you went inside strangers' cars, mainly cab and Uber drivers that you contacted before, but never someone that you sort of knew and definitely never a teacher.

"Never seen a guy have a clean car?" He questioned, giving you glances.

"No. My ex-boyfriend was really messy. He always had a messy and smelly car." You clutched your bag close to you.

Nanami felt his throat a bit dry. His hands were gripping the steering wheel. "Ex-boyfriend?"

"Yeah, I used to date this one guy. He was my first boyfriend. We only lasted like three months so I wouldn't really call him a boyfriend. We hardly did anything together." You said. You looked out at the window and realized something. "Wait," Nanami pulled over to a curb in an area where it was isolated, and pulled out a white cloth while you stared out at the window, "I never even told you where I lived, I liv-" You couldn't finish the sentence because Nanami quickly covered your mouth.

The cloth had two pills in it, "That's it." Nanami felt his arm getting slapped repeatedly by you. He could hear your muffled screams, which made him pull you closer, lifting your head up so the pills could go down. You felt the small pills going down your throat. You felt like you were going to choke, so you had no choice, but to swallow them. It was painful and soon you felt weak. "Good girl." Eventually, you fell into your sleep. He got your phone and took out the memory card and battery before tossing it out. Nanami continued to drive off.

He pulled up to the house and parked in the garage that was connected to the house. He opened his door and quickly went towards yours. He opened the passenger door and carried you out bridal style. He entered the home and headed upstairs. He placed you on the bed and quickly tied your hands with the ropes that were tied to the headboard.

He finally took a deep breath, falling down on the bed next to you. He looked over his side and stared at you. He stared at the ceiling, feeling his heartbeat slowing down a bit. His palms began to feel less shaky and the sweat forming finally calmed down.

He sat up covering his face with his hands. "What the hell am I doing?" He got up and paced around the room staring at your unconscious body. He got on the bed and hovered over you. "You're driving me crazy," he whispered to you. He placed his hand on your waist, " You're doing this to me." He placed a light kiss on your lips.

He got up and headed down to the kitchen and decided to make a light sandwich. After he finished he went to the car and gathered the rest of your things. He went through your bag and found your wallet. He found your IDs and cards.

He heard light noises coming from upstairs. He got up from the chair and placed the cards on the kitchen table. The closer he got to the second floor the more he could hear more of the noises and groaning. He opened more of the bedroom door and saw you opening your eyes. You moved to your side buring your face into your hands. He saw the way you peeked at the entrance and saw him which made you quickly sit up. He saw the way tears were forming in your eyes. You curled yourself up, bringing your knees up to your chest. " Please don't hurt me."

He shut the door behind him.

"Please."

He walked closer to you. "I won't hurt you."

"Where am I?"

"You're at home. With me."

@black-swan-blog27

@srae123

@foggyturtleknightangel

#yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere jjk #yandere nanami #yandere #nanami smut #nanami kento #jujutsu nanami #kento nanami #jjk nanami #nanami x reader #jjk kento #yandere nanami x reader #nanami x you #nanami x y/n #yandere nanami kento #kento x reader #nanami jjk #kento #kento smut #jjk #jjk smut #fanfic #jujutsu kaisen nanami

[to-the-stars8]

Can someone genuinely answer this ever lingering question as to why DC has such beef with Jason Todd?

They butcher his character and relationships, and for what? There’s so much fucking POTENTIAL not only with his character but with his story! There’s a way to actually write discourse in a relationship without making it so damn abusive. Maybe I’m missing something in the story or just in general, but it’s just so fucking irritating when it could be good.

You have a nice, good boy who only wants to help despite given the short hand in life who is then given a loving father who just so happens to be Batman. That boy is then murdered by Batman’s biggest enemy (don’t even get me started on the fucking Joker who essentially has become idolized in the worst ways by DC writers and directors) still trying to do the right thing despite being fucked over by the very person he so desperately wanted love from. Then, you have that same boy who’s just a little bit older, hurting and angry— acting out in every way he can against the man who loves him but couldn’t see past his own weaknesses. And what do DC writers do instead of making this complicated, intriguing and character growing relationship into something that’s not as fucking dumb and slightly out of character for Batman? They fuck him up.

It’s an extreme to say this, I know. And this isn’t against all DC writers, but you can’t deny a lie when it’s a pattern. It’s a cut and dry story that practically writes itself. You have a little boy who is so full of hope is growing along with the main character of the story (which, in my own personal opinion, Batman has Robin not as a soldiers—and omfg does that damn phrase make me violent—but as a potential, mutual factor of character growth) , who then gets a bit too cocky and distracted by his own hubris and need for love, to a hurt antagonist that goes against the man who he once called father. Like it’s too easy to not fuck this up, and yet DC seems to manages to do this every single time.

It’s almost like they want to portray Batman and Bruce Wayne as a man who is made “tougher” by his trauma (which has some patriarchal undertones if you catch my drift) instead of growing. Batman can grow. He can love. There’s one post that I’ve seen on Tumblr how Batman/Bruce does this whole vigilante thing out of love.

Which is why I don’t get why DC uses Bruce as a tool to hurt Jason when it isn’t really consistent. He loved Jason, and this is backed up by a lot of older and a few current issues. Don’t get me wrong, I get that their relationship post-UTRH is gonna be FUCKED. Yet, even the writing in that I can’t really agree with. KILLING (attempting to kill really) your son who had been dead for years, that you loved so much, and is acting out because YOU? Doesn’t make much sense, but, again, maybe I’m looking at this through a foggy lens.

This wasn’t meant to be a long post, but it’s just been on my mind and perhaps I could use another perspective. So, again, what’s DC’s deal with Jason and Bruce’s relationship, and Jason’s character as a whole?

#jason todd #bruce wayne #Batman #dc robin #dc universe #dcu #dc rant #batfamily #clark kent #red hood #jason todd and bruce wayne #dc batman #dc red hood #dick grayson #tim drake #bruce wayne is a good dad #sorry for the rant #under the red hood #utrh

[firstkanaphans]

I know this post is only for like two people, but I’m going to make it anyway. So, my obsession with Dead Friend Forever finally reached critical levels and I resorted to binge-watching The Hidden Character just to get more content. For those that don’t know, The Hidden Character (which they literally call “THC”) was the reality show Be On Cloud used to cast DFF. It is bad. Like really bad. And not in a it’s-so-bad-it’s-good-type way. It’s one of the most exploitative pieces of media I have ever watched. I walked into it with a favorable view of BOC, Mile, Apo, and Pond (the CEO), and walked out of it hating all of them.

A small collection of things that happened over the 11-episode run:

Everyone was told that they had to share every single aspect of their life with the viewers or they would be eliminated. And, in fact, the first person eliminated was told that it was because he wasn’t being open enough with the audience. They filmed these boys—one of whom was only seventeen at the time—talking explicitly about their sex lives. Which is, of course, fine to talk about. It’s not fine to air it on television! Even some of the games themselves contained sexually suggestive content (i.e. Which do you prefer "eating" with—your hands or your mouth? If you were to cheat on your significant other, would it be just sex or a full-blown affair?)

During the first part of the show, everyone had a secret that the other players were supposed to guess. One of the player’s secret was that he used to be homophobic. (Questionable casting for a company that only hires men, but I digress). He was praised for having changed his mind. In contrast, JJay’s secret was that he was raised in an abusive household and had once hit his father. Pond crucified the poor guy for this. He made him sit there in front of the whole cast sobbing and apologize for hitting his dad who was an abusive asshole.

After the first half of the show—which served absolutely no purpose at all—we finally move onto the acting portion. This is, after all, supposed to be a talent competition. The judges were so mean. Especially Apo. He was like the Simon Cowell of BOC. There was no constructive component to their criticism. The fact that any of these people are still acting is honestly unbelievable. I would have gone home and cried myself to sleep and then never stepped foot on a stage again.

At one point, each of the groups was assigned a scene from KinnPorsche to act out (because BOC very clearly owns no other IP). One of the pairs was given the scene where Porsche gives Kinn a handjob in the bathroom. I wish I was kidding. 

The judges constantly told the contestants to make their scenes feel new and different but any time the actors actually tried to change anything, they complained it was “too” different and the original script was already perfect so who were they to think they could create something better. Once again, Apo and Mile, the original actors of these scenes, are the ones judging them! Like of course they like their version better. What is even happening??

And finally, the whole fucking thing was rigged for Ta to win. Like don’t get me wrong, I love Ta and I think he did a great job, but he was the only one who came into that competition with a built-in fanbase and the winner was chosen by popular vote.

It was all just…baffling. Especially from a company that claims to be trying to change the industry. Like if you want the industry to stop being so exploitative to its actors, maybe start with yourself? It also makes those condescending “how dare you watch our shows just for the NC scenes” press releases they do every week even more annoying.

I have no clue what the reaction to this show was while it was airing but god I hope they never do it again. It literally makes me feel so weird watching DFF now. I feel like those poor kids are being held hostage. Maybe CEO Pond’s been the one under the mask the whole time 🔪

#y'all help #did anyone else watch this or was it all just a fever dream? #the hidden character #dead friend forever #like don’t get me wrong I will continue to watch dff because i’m obsessed #and because i want to support these actors and what they were forced to go through #but idk if I’ll be watching much from boc after this

[ah-ga-seven]

The Naked Neighbor II

>>PART ONE<<

Pairing: Fem!reader x Choi Soobin

Word count: 16,6k

Genre: Smut, Comedy, Fluff, lighthearted Angst.

Synopsis: Life is dull, until a new neighbor moves in across the street. His name was Soobin, a mysterious loner who lived in his own bubble and was incredibly hard to get close to. One night, as y/n was in her bedroom, she saw Soobin through the window, freshly out of the shower in full view, which accounted for a series of interesting events as she notices a pattern in his nightly routine.

Warnings: mature contents regarding sex and especially voyeurism. Further mentions of drugs and alcohol. This story will also contain mentions of broken homes, parental issues and verbally abusive fights.

(A/N) It's been long overdue, but please read part one again if you haven't freshened up your memory, a lot of details from part one are mentioned in part two!

Soobin pulled you into him, guarding you from the atrocious sight that was too late to unsee.  

Your mother had already covered herself up, as did Soobin’s father who was quickly on his feet.  

“Son…” he tried with a soft voice.  

“Shut the fuck up.” Soobin seethed through his teeth.  

Your mother was quiet, carefully eyeing you to study your reaction but when she saw your face buried in Soobin’s chest she knew enough.  

Your breathing started to intensify but whatever alcohol was left in your system gave you the guts to look your mom in the eye with utter shock and disgust written all over your face. “First my mom, now Isabelle?” Soobin questioned as his blood started to boil even more than before.  

“Son..I-”  

“Please…shut up, nothing you’d say right now would make things better.”  

You ignored Soobin and his dad, still staring at your mother in pure disbelief as she looked at you with big guilty eyes. Being disappointed by her was the default setting of your relationship, but knowing that even a marital status didn’t stop her from getting with Soobin’s dad actually made you sick to your stomach.  

“Soobin let’s go.” You tug at his arm as you break eye contact with your mother, avoiding eye contact with his dad altogether.  

“Come on, let’s go.” You drag him out of the house, hearing your mom call for you but you slammed his front door behind yourselves and speed walked towards your house with your arms crossed over your chest. You were trying to walk faster than Soobin with your heart thumping loudly and irregularly from all the adrenaline but he had already caught up to you, hauling you back by your shoulder.  

“Hey, hey y/n.” He turned you around but you couldn’t dare look into his eyes. For some reason, you felt guilty.  

“Soobin I’m…so…so sorry for what my mom did. I can’t even begin to apologize. If you don’t want anything to do with me I totally get it. I-”  

“Hey, woah. Stop. They’re both at fault. My dad is, just as much as your mom. Nothing we said or did could’ve predicted this.”  

You bite your lip, staring at the liveliness in your house from just meters away. “I don’t want to go back in there,” you whisper, getting choked up. “What do we even say.” You were starting to panic a little. “We can’t stay here either, what if they come after us? I-I don’t w-wanna talk to them.”  

Soobin watched the brims of your eyes fill with tears, making his own widen in response. “Come here.” He pulled you towards him mindlessly, enveloping you in his warm embrace and all you could do was give in. You nuzzled your nose in his neck, inhaling his scent as you wrapped your arms around him too. It calmed you down fast enough because for once you weren’t alone.  

You were not ready for the aftermath of all of this. You never wanted to see your mom again, let alone talk to her.  

“There you guys are…woah…everything okay?” Beomgyu walked towards the two of you from the porch, noticing the tears in your eyes. He froze, not fully grasping reality since he was drunk himself. You quickly untangled yourself from Soobin and shot him a look that he immediately understood. Lie.  

Soobin straightened out his back, giving Beomgyu a reassuring smile. “She’s just emo because she loves you guys so much.”  

Beomgyu’s jaw dropped, smirking as he enveloped you in a hug. “AWHHH, me too.” You inhaled sharply, feeling the cool midnight breeze pierce through your nostrils as all the air got knocked out of your lungs from the tight hold he had on you.  

You awkwardly patted Gyu’s back until he let go of you in the weird chokehold-like hug he had you trapped in. He stumbled a step back, assessing both of you from head to toe. “No drinks?” he asks disappointed, throwing his hand up to his forehead to add dramatics.  

“No.” it was a swift and unified response from both you and Soobin, which had Beomgyu moping.  

“Ugh, well… most people are leaving anyway it's already 3 am.”  

Silence took over the atmosphere for a few painful seconds but it felt like forever in your head. You quickly snapped out of it though. Straightening out your posture after taking a quick glance at Soobin who was lost in thought as well.  

“H-hey. Beomgyu. Can we crash at yours?” you ask giving Beomgyu a hopeful look, hoping his intoxication wouldn’t question you.  

“Why? You literally live here.”  

Shit.  

“I know I just…” you pause for a second, taking a quick glance at Soobin who was giving you just as much of a confused expression as Beomgyu. “I don’t want to be alone in the house with all the mess everywhere.”  

You were a horrible liar. And Beomgyu noticed how you weren’t telling him the whole story. Something about the look in your eyes screamed of desperation. You really didn’t want to be home. And apparently, Soobin’s house wasn’t an option either.  

“Sure.” Beomgyu sighed, deciding not to go against you. He’ll find out later, and from the looks of it, it wasn’t Soobin at fault so who cares.  

You looked visibly relieved, as did Soobin who hooked an arm around your waist so you’d turn to him once Beomgyu stumbled back inside the house without giving the two of you a second glance.  

“Are you okay?” Soobin asked, his gaze softening once your eyes locked.  

“No. And neither are you. I’m in survival mode right now I don’t know what to do or think.” You sigh throwing your head back, kicking a random rock on the sidewalk.  

“Why can’t I have nice things happen to me for once,” you groaned.  

Soobin snorted, looking back at his house with a heavy heart which made his smile drop. If it wasn’t for you he would’ve gone back inside and punched his dad in the face. After everything, he still found new ways to fuck up. Hell, Soobin even started to feel bad for Isabelle.  

He scrunched his nose. “Should we just go to Beomgyu’s now? I’m not trying to linger around much longer for them to run after us.” He tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear, the sweet gesture pulling you out of the depths of your mind, mustering up your last bit of energy to crack a slight smile for him.  

“Yeah, let’s leave.”  

Luckily Beomgyu’s parents were on a trip to visit Gyu’s grandparents over the weekend cause it saved you A LOT of explaining and well…lying. The spare key was where it always was which made entering his house a no-brainer.  

You turned on the lights and took off your shoes, letting Soobin explore a bit in silence as you made some tea. After a minute he found you in the kitchen, taking out cups from the cabinet to then pour some hot water into both of them. “You really know your way around here.” Soobin remarks, sitting down on one of the barstools at the breakfast bar.  

“Yeah, I basically grew up in this house.”  

“Hmm…” Soobin once again realized the depth of your friendship with Beomgyu. He knew he had nothing to worry about but it was safe to say that he had a slight pinch of jealousy for the history you had with him and your other friends. He wished he could say he knew you better than them. But he didn’t…not yet at least.  

“What’s up?” you place the cup in front of him as you lean on your elbows opposite of where he was standing,  giving him a confused pout when you sense a change in his body language.  

He looked at you with a coy smile, slowly shaking his head as he fiddled with his fingers. “I was just thinking we’re not even that close.”  

You deadpanned at him, blinking in confusion. “You…you’ve seen me naked.”  

He snorted. “I know! But I mean, like I barely know you. The dumb trivial shit. From your favorite movie genres to your most embarrassing childhood stories, I want to know It all. I want to know you.”  

You looked at him with endearment, you could tell how sincere he was as he slipped back into his own train of thought. He has never felt this way about someone before. Liking someone so much so that it makes you openly desperate wasn’t really Soobin’s approach to dating. Usually, he’s the one being pushed around and sought after but you were different. If you’d ask him to jump, he’d ask you how high which basically meant that he was down bad.  

“I like dramas but also scary movies, and when I was seven years old I peed my pants during gym class. Luckily no one noticed but it was still really, really embarrassing.” Soobin looked at you with wide eyes, suppressing an obnoxious laugh that was boiling in his throat. Instead, he just huffed as the corners of his mouth curled upwards.  

“When I was 9 I slipped and fell face first into a puddle in front of my elementary school crush. She just laughed at me and I was so embarrassed that I started rolling around in the puddle to make it look intentional.” Soobin confessed, making you clutch your hand over your own mouth as you doubled over in laughter. He smiled with sparkles in his eyes as he watched your face contort with joy again after everything that happened tonight, and that’s how the rest of the next hour or so was spent. Telling each other stories about yourselves that didn’t matter anymore, though they did shape you into the people you were today. And, truth be told it was exactly the type of distraction that both of you so desperately needed right now.  

It was almost as if you two were going backwards. You were emotionally connecting with a one-night stand after the physical connection was formed, but there was so much more to your relationship already prior to sleeping together, so your dynamic was odd, to say the least.  

It was like hanging with an old friend, who you have a mutual crush on, but don’t know much about even though you’ve already made core memories with him. Hell, you even shared a traumatic night together already.  

Yeah…weird.  

Your conversation went on and on, shifting from the kitchen to the living room and by now the two of you had fallen asleep on opposite ends of the couch with both of your legs entangled.  

The sight was quite adorable from Beomgyu’s point of view who came home just a minute ago. He smiled softly as he draped a blanket over the two of you, leaving to go upstairs to shower and go to bed himself.  

“Dude I can’t believe you dipped like that. What the fuck happened? I get you’re horny and all but your mom literally came home in hysterics asking us where you were. She looked so worried and you didn’t answer your damn phone either.”  

You were awake for all of 5 minutes when you ran into Yeonjun in Beomgyu’s kitchen. You didn’t even know how he or when he got to the house, but you could only assume he came to find you because he was pissed, rightfully so.  

You opened your mouth and closed it again, not really knowing if Soobin wanted people to know about what happened yet.  

“If a lie comes out of your mouth, y/n. I swear to god.” Yeonjun growled.  

You stare at your fingers as you fiddled with them, not even noticing that Beomgyu came downstairs to join the conversation at the sound of Yeonjun’s nagging.  

He stood beside Yeonjun, ears perking up when he heard the shuffles of Soobin’s footsteps as he approached the three of you in the kitchen.  

You look up as you feel his presence next to you, and somehow you feel relief wash over your body. Even though he made your heart beat faster every time he was close to you, you also felt at peace with him in the room.  

“Wanna tell them?” Soobin asks you as he rests his hand on your lower back.  

Yeonjun gave both of you a look after searching for answers in Beomgyu’s eyes, but he just shrugged at his older friend, letting him know that this whole thing was a mystery to him too.  

You pout, raking your hand through your hair as your mouth becomes dry. “We uhm…” you start, but fall silent again trying to collect your thoughts.

“Babe, the suspense,” Yeonjun says crossing his arms to show his lack of patience, and that’s when Soobin took it upon himself to rip the inevitable band-aid off.  

“We walked in on our parents…having sex.” He says before pursing his lips together in anticipation of their reaction.  

You close your eyes at Soobin’s words. Feeling anger boil in your stomach at the thought of the cursed images in your head and the fact that you were going to have to face your mom sooner or later.  

Beomgyu’s eyes dangerously protruded out of his skull as Yeonjun’s hand clasped over his mouth to muffle a bewildered gasp. This is the last thing they expected to come out of your mouths.  

“There ain’t no way…how? What…” Beomgyu was left speechless for what seemed to be the first time in his fucking life and Yeonjun’s gaze immediately softened as he laid eyes on you. “You’re joking, is this a joke? Cause it ain’t funny.” Yeonjun tried to laugh but your stoic response made him realize you weren’t joking at all.  

“Y-your mom? With his dad?” Yeonjun asks pointing from you to Soobin and all you could do was nod avoiding eye contact.  

“Damn guys…that’s fucked. I don’t know what else to say.” Yeonjun says with a pout as he grabs your hand over the counter, squeezing it for assurance as a way of telling you that he’s here for you.  

“…Isn’t your dad like…married?” Beomgyu spits out without thinking. Yeonjun shot Beomgyu a glare but Soobin simply nodded for a lack of knowing what else to say. “Dad of the year am I right,” he says shrugging his feelings away. “I’m dreading going back there,” he adds looking at you to see you lost in thought. “Me too.” Your voice was almost inaudible, and watching you so pained by the whole situation made Beomgyu want to step in and do something to cheer you up.  

“You two can stay here, I just need to figure out what to tell my parents,” Beomgyu suggests, his tapioca pearl pupils seemed to grow with excitement by the thought of having you two move in here but it was short-lived.  

“No, I’m the worst liar. Thank you for the offer though.” Soobin says scratching the back of his neck.  

“Booo.” Beomgyu huffs giving you both a childish thumbs down, followed by a smack on his arm from Yeonjun. “But I get it. Totally.” Beomgyu quickly corrects himself, rubbing his tingling arm before giving Yeonjun a kittenish angry scowl.  

Soobin scoffed in amusement as you chuckle at the two of them before sharing your thoughts. “It’s going to raise suspicion. Plus, our moms are friends. She’ll call her immediately and I don’t want anyone to find out. This town is too small for something as big as this.”  

“Yeah. If Gyu’s mom knows, Tae’s mom knows, and if Tae’s mom knows Huening’s mom knows, and if Huening’s mom knows, my mom knows, and then the whole town will know.”  Yeonjun says dramatically counting his fingers with each one of their moms added to the list.  

“Then you take after your mom, for sure.” Beomgyu retorts rolling his eyes.  

“Proudly, and what about it,” Yeonjun argues, letting his index finger push Beomgyu’s forehead away.  

“Damn, it’s that serious?” Soobin asked wide-eyed, to which you all just nodded.  

“This town is like a gossip girl spin-off.” Yeonjun chuckled.  

You bite your lip, looking at the three of them. “I don’t think we have much of a choice other than to go home and…deal with it.”  

Soobin anxiously nodded at your statement. Sighing as he threw his head back in defeat. “Can’t wait...”  

You paced back and forth in front of your house for a good minute before entering, but just like you suspected already from the missing car in front; your mom wasn’t home.

You sighed in relief, and quickly inspected the after-party damage but to your surprise, the place was left spotless. You inwardly simped for your friends as you stood motionless in the middle of your living room, taking a mental note to thank Hueningkai and Taehyun for staying behind to clean up.  

You fluffed a random pillow and bit your lip, wondering if Soobin made it past the front door already. Just as you were going up to your room, the front door opened which made you freeze in place in the middle of the staircase. The sound of her heels on the hardwood floor confirmed it was your mom, followed by the sound of her voice.  

“Y/n!” she gasped, not expecting to see you back so soon. You tried to jolt back upstairs but your mom literally launched herself forward in an attempt to grab your ankle, which she did. You nearly tripped over, turning your torso towards her to send daggers at her through your eyeballs. “Really!?”  

“Next time you run away from home at least tell me where you’re going.”  

“That defeats the purpose of running away.”  

“Sweetie…”  

“Don’t sweetie me, I don’t want to talk to you. Let go of me so I can shower and ignore you for the rest of my life.” You were still spread out on the stairs with your mom clasped around your leg like a koala holding on to its sacred branch. It must’ve been a funny sight to see, but you wanted her off. You started to shake your leg with her still wrapped around it, and when you accidentally hit her in the nose she finally let go.  

“Ouch, you little shit.” She let go of you and got back on her feet again, giving you an annoyed scowl.  

“Deserved. Period. Maybe you won’t stick your nose in other people’s marriages now,” you tell her, knitting your eyebrows together to look extra mad. 

“…Oh y/n. Don’t make me the bad guy. I just took the bait. Don’t think I’m the only other woman he’s slept with during his marriage.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes.  

“…What.”  

“He’s a serial cheater. A piece of shit, but a hot one though. I won’t do it again if that’s what you want to hear. I’m sorry you had to see that.” She nodded, blinking slowly like a cat trying to show affection, but you shot her the same unamused glare from before.  

“I don’t believe a word that’s coming out of your mouth mom.” You give her a stoic look, not knowing whether to believe the first or latter part of her twisted apology.  

“Then don’t baby,” she shrugged, straightening out her dress as she walks down the stairs. “Dinner’s in the fridge buttercup.” She yells out before disappearing into the living room.  

You were holding onto the stair railing for dear life, frustration overriding your emotions. It was always like this. She’d brush over every disappointing situation with an insincere apology followed by pretending as if nothing ever happened. It’s like she doesn’t comprehend the depth of her actions and that they don’t just revolve around her alone. She made Soobin’s dad out to be the sole antagonist and even if he did sleep around, it doesn’t make your mom’s part in this whole ordeal any less significant.  

You were used to your mom and her antics. Her inability to feel for anyone but you and herself but it never affected people you cared for before, until now.  

She never stopped to think about how this affects you, Soobin, or Isabelle. How it could potentially wreck Soobin’s already broken home. Even though she knew everything he had been through she still decided to take part in ruining his life some more and that alone made you hate her.  

Angry fumes started to burn your earlobes. She’s not sorry she did it. She’s sorry she got caught.  

You dragged yourself up the stairs, wondering if your ability to feel empathy came from your deadbeat dad who abandoned you as a kid but that thought alone made zero sense.  

Maybe you were adopted.  

You looked at yourself in the mirror, sighing as you splashed some cold water in your face but when you came back up and saw the resemblance you had to both your mom and dad you nearly broke the mirror with your fist. The brims of your eyes filled with tears as you balled your fists on the counter, biting your lip until you tasted iron.  

You stepped out of your clothes and set the water temperature of your shower at a literal lava setting, hoping that the steam would not only clear out your sinuses but your mind.  

You had no idea what to do next, but all that you could really do was be brutally honest with Soobin and hope for the best as you continued to ignore your mothers’ existence. Your heart hurts for him more than ever, especially since he will start feeling the aftermath now that he’s decided to go home.  

Soobin didn’t even hesitate to walk into the house, his non-confrontational nature vanished when he saw his dad on that godforsaken couch, reading with his glasses on the tip of his nose bridge as if nothing happened. He took big strides over to him, ready to yell at his father and demand an explanation but a voice broke him out of his fury.  

“Oh, Soobin. You’re back.” Isabelle smiled at him. “Your dad said you were staying at a friend's? How was the party?”  

Soobin’s dad looked at Soobin with dilated, scared yet strict pupils. He was silently telling him to lie for his sake and looking at Isabelle’s twinkly pupils, Soobin just couldn’t get himself to continue. “Uhm…it was fun. Took a different turn towards the end of the night though.”  

He gave his dad a look with pursed lips and watched as his fathers’ shoulders tensed up. “Oh, what do you mean?” Isabel walked over, setting down a plate with cut fruits for both of them.  

Soobin took a piece from the plate, biting into it as he remained eye contact with his dad. It was a subconscious move to show that his dad had no business being relaxed now that Soobin’s back home.  

He won’t say shit with Isabelle around, just because he cared about her feelings. But once she’s out of view shit was going to go down.  

He forgot Isabelle was still waiting for Soobin to respond so he quickly looked back at her, though she was already onto something.  

“Did you guys get into a fight again?”  

Soobin simply shook his head and that’s when his dad got up, walking towards Isabelle to place a kiss on her temple. “No hon, nothing to worry about. I’m going to take a shower so we can go to your parents later today.”  

“Ah, so you didn’t forget?” Isabelle smiled at him, it was almost pathetic how in love she looked.  

Soobin’s eyes turned sad and looked away as he bit his lip. “Uhm, do you guys mind if I stay in? I have a lot of homework I need to finish.”  

Isabelle looked at Soobin a tad disappointed but nodded, giving him a quick pat on the back. “You always work so hard. Don’t forget to eat okay.”    

Soobin nodded as watched his dad move up the stairs without a word, followed by Isabel who had to get ready as well.  

He sighed, throwing his large self on the couch before realizing what happened here. He stiffened and rolled right off, suppressing a gag as he made his way to the kitchen quickly to quench his disgust with tasty snacks.  

He opened a bag of random sweets, sitting at the breakfast bar as he angrily chewed on the way too sugary biscuits. This house was a ticking time bomb, and he had to get out before he’d get buried in the ruins of it.  

You stared at the mess that was your bedroom with loss. Not knowing where to start with cleaning. Naturally, you moved all the mess to your bed and started putting things away accordingly. Once your sheets were revealed under all the mess, instant butterflies kicked in when you remembered what happened on them last night.  

You bite your lip, slipping into a daydream before you knew it you were already texting him.  

[Y/N, 5:56 PM]: Hi 👀  

[Y/N, 5:56 PM]: How’d it go?  

[Soobin,  5:57 PM]: Hey ☺️

[Soobin,  5:57 PM]: Isabel was home so I didn’t really get a word in. I couldn’t do that to her. I want him to fess up himself yk. Buttt,they left for some dinner a few minutes ago so I haven’t seen him really.  

[Soobin, 5:57 PM]: What I don’t get is how he can lie and pretend so fucking easily. It’s scary. It’s like don’t know who he is anymore.  

[Y/N, 5:58 PM]: ugh, I can’t. this is so messed up...  

[Soobin, 5:58 PM]: And you? How are things with your mom?  

[Y/N, 5:58 PM]: She’s…my mom. So, she gives me one insincere apology and pretends as if nothing happened. She even tried to blame your dad for all of it.  

[Soobin, 5:58 PM]: Damn…how so?

[Y/N, 5:59 PM]: I’ll tell you later, just don’t get how I came out of someone like her  

[Soobin, 5:59 PM]: Hmm ok, and same here. Can we talk about something else? Anything else? I would like some normalcy today.

You sigh, looking at your closed curtains, immediately getting the best worst idea ever. You walked over and ripped them open, seeing Soobin at his desk in front of his window.  

Really…he’s still living curtainless. STILL!?  

You shake your head, looking down at your phone again, and started typing.  

[Y/N, 6:01 PM]: Look up.  

As you press send you excitedly awaited his response and that’s when your eyes locked through your windows. A mischievous smile crept on his cute ass lips. He cockily leaned back in his chair and proceeded to rake his hand through his hair.  

He averted his attention back to his phone and looked your way again when your phone buzzed in your palm.  

You boldly kept eye contact until he lifted his phone up to your view, pointing at it to tell you to look.  

[Soobin, 6:02 PM]: cute jammies, what are those? Teddy bears?  

You looked down at your childish pajama set and felt your ears heat up. You didn’t even realize that you were wearing your most sexless sleepwear and laughed, doing random poses for him as you modeled your cute little outfit.  

Soobin bit his lip, chuckling at your antics with an amused glint in his eyes.  

You quickly grab your phone.  

[Y/N, 6.04 PM]: Don’t leave me hanging, show me your jammies.

Soobin looked from his phone to you with a dumbfounded look, giving you a  sassy smirk before he sent you another message.  

[Soobin, 6.05 PM]: Can’t do that. I sleep nude.

He eyed your reaction from afar and when your eyes got big as you look from your screen to him, he folded in laughter.  

You pout at him, giving him a thumbs down closer to the window this time while mouthing a stretched-out ‘Booo’  

He rolled his eyes at you, getting up to get closer to the window. You didn’t know what he was doing when you cocked your head to the side in confusion, watching him intently with a playful smirk.  

Soobin then lifted up his shirt, showing you his bare chest before sending you a sarcastic flying kiss and it had you rolling your eyes at him this time. He laughed at you. His eyes disappearing into crescent moons as he clapped his large ass hands together with glee.  

Oh it’s on. Mischief took over on your side of the window. You looked around the neighborhood but no one seemed to be around and that’s when you decided to just do what you initially intended to do.  

You maintained eye contact and lifted your top up, showing your bare boobs to him on full display for two good seconds as you mimicked his teasing from before. You dropped your top back down and watched his face go full tomato as his mouth fell agape. You were laughing so hard that you had to double over in order to catch a breath and that’s when your phone started buzzing in your pocket.  

You pick up with giggles, still enjoying the look on his face while he was frantically looking around to check if there were any neighbors out on the streets. “y/n!”  

Your laugh died down slowly. “Ahh, you should’ve seen your face.”  

“Omg, what if someone saw you? Are you crazy?”  

“Look who’s talking, you still don’t have blinds.”  

“It’s a delivery issue, they’ll be here soon” he pinched his eyes shut at a loss for words, looking at you rather lost soon after. “I- you’re insane.”  

“Dude. You mooned me on the first day, I just paid you back. We’re even now.” You smirked, but you watched Soobin grow more frustrated on his side of the window.  

“First off I wasn’t aware and SECOND, No, we’re not.” He growled pressing himself against the window.  

You lean forward to show some cleavage, unbuttoning the first button to give him even more of a show. “Why?” you coyly ask, biting your lip as you pressed your goods against the glass. “How bout’ now?”  

You watched him try to keep cool but the tent that was forming in his sweats was giving you the impression that it wasn’t working. He was flustered, yet didn’t want to lose control so easily.  

He licked his lips, staying silent for a second as he moved his phone from one ear to the other.  

“Get over here so I can suck on those titties.”  

His voice was low, serious, and demanding enough to make your knees grow weak.  

You choke on air, eyes growing wide as you swallow harshly. “U-uhm wow…C-can you give me like…3 minutes.”  

“3, not more.” He smirked at you and all you could do was nod as you watched him hang up the phone and walk out of his room.  

You quickly closed your curtains, changing into leggings and a top as fast as you could before collecting your toothbrush from the bathroom. You sprinted down the stairs, putting on your sneakers and a big ass trench coat that had pockets big enough for your phone, keys, toothbrush, and a set of fresh underwear.  

As your front door closed, his own opened. Soobin watched you cutely run over with soft smiles and giggles exchanged between the two of you. It was…disgustingly cute.  

Once you reached his front porch he lifted you off your feet, crashing his lips into yours as you clung onto his torso by wrapping your legs around his hips.  

The two of you made out as he walked both of you back into the house, crashing your back against the inside of his now-closed front door. You could barely see in the darkness of his hallway, letting your eyes get used to the dim lighting as his lips sensually moved against your own.  

His pillowy soft lips were tracing chaste kisses from your jaw to your chest and that’s when he ripped the coat off of you in one swift motion. His hands hungrily grabbed on to massage your boobs under your shirt when your lips reconnected with his own.  

It was messy but so good as you moaned into his mouth once his cold thumbs rolled against your nipples. “Fuck.” You huffed, rolling your core onto his hips to create the friction you so desperately longed for.  

Soobin grinned against your lips, leaning his forehead against yours as he lead you into the kitchen area. He propped you up on the counter of their breakfast bar and situated himself between your legs again. He bent his neck down to kiss you some more, slowly guiding his hands up and down your thighs. You were so out of breath that you broke the kiss, looking up at him through your lashes. He felt his heart swell as you did, smiling at him shyly before hiding your face in his chest. Damn you were cute. Fucking adorable to be exact.  

He chuckled and toyed with the hem of your top before lifting it over your head. Quickly discarding of the useless item of clothing and immediately got busy with your boobs, kissing and sucking on them just like he promised to. Your eyes lulled back, enjoying the divine feeling as a few strained moans left your lips. He stopped in his tracks, creating some distance to look at your body.  

“Shit.” He cursed, smiling down at you in complete awe of how gorgeous you looked right now. You returned the smile, your fingers nimbly curling around the waistband of his sweats and Calvins. “I want these off…” you whisper in his ear, making every hair on his neck stand up straight as a chill runs down his spine. “I still haven’t sucked your dick.” You confidently state, reminiscing back to what he said to you last night. “Blowjobs can wait” well…not anymore.  

“Then get to it” he mused, patting your hair adoringly as he tilted your chin upwards to look at him with his index finger.  

You paused for a second, “H-here?” you say looking around his large kitchen. It had a similar layout to yours, the only difference was that it had no windows. Thank god.  

“Well we can’t really go into my room unless you’re still into that whole voyeurism thing…so-”  

You shut him up with yet another kiss, pinching his cheeks together with your thumb and index finger as you guided your tongue into his mouth sensually and slowly. He closed his eyes for a second until you disconnected your lips from his, still pinching his cheeks together with a seductive smile on your shiny and absolutely swollen lips.  

“Where do you want me?”  

“On your knees.” His reply was short and hot enough to get you going as you let go of his face until he interrupted you. “But be careful, it’s a tile floor your knees might bruise.”  

You snorted, finding it cute how his sweetness always seemed to shine through even in sinful moments like these. “I don’t mind a few bruises.” You challenge him as you got down on your knees, looking up at him with big, innocent eyes and that visual alone pumped every drop of blood in his body straight to his dick.  

“You’re blue balling me.” He complained.  

“I’m not doing shit.”  

“That’s the problem.” He says and you chuckle lowly, finally pulling down his sweats when his hard, angry, and humongous dick springs free. It hadn’t even been 24 hours but you already forgot how big he actually was, and suddenly your confidence disappeared. Does your mouth even open wide enough to take him?  

“Hey.” He caressed your cheek with his thumb. “It’s okay, just go slow. It’s not like I’ll immediately shove it down your throat or anything.”  

“Hot, but no thanks. Not yet.” He scoffed at you playfully and you gulped, holding his shaft tightly. He was heavy in your palm and you weren’t shy to grab his whole sex from below his balls, propping him up for you nicely. He watched you closely, his gaze softening once your eyes found his again. You started collecting some spit in your mouth to then coat his tip with some so you could lubricate his length with your hand, twisting your wrist around to cover more of him. The friction wasn’t much but Soobin’s eyes were already closing, hearing a content sigh escape from his lips.  

You kept your eyes on him, licking from the start of his shaft to his tip to then take it into your mouth slowly. Sucking on just the head as you held his cock in place, eyeing how hot he looked as you slowly started to take him further into your mouth.  

You were fastening your pace and alternated from sucking, to licking and adding handwork when you felt like he needed the extra stimulation. You could tell the buildup was just right as he slowly started to lose control with being gentle, desperately rocking his hips forward from time to time as you did your thing.  

His moans were filling the room, bouncing off the walls in echo’s so soft and hot that it motivated you to take him further into your throat. He took a fistful of your hair, slowly guiding himself in and out of your mouth as he enjoyed the sloppy wet sounds of your suppressed little gags.  

He suddenly pulled out completely, taking over to pump himself really fast as he hovered his tip over your mouth. “S-shit baby, I-I’m-” he couldn’t even finish his sentence, you moaned to motivate him, placing your palms on his thighs, squeezing your eyes shut to prepare for what was to come and that’s when he coated your tongue, and chin with white spurts of his cum.    

You opened your eyes again, watching him see stars as he threw his head back for a second while he pumped out his high. It wasn’t long before you made eye contact though. Your sinful smile with strings of his manliness dripping down your lips almost made him cum a second time. He guided the lost droplets into your mouth with his tip so you sucked on it one last time, letting go with a pop while swallowing his load completely like a big girl.  

“Fuck…y/n, what the hell are you doing to me. Shit.” He kept cursing as he sweetly caressed your cheek again. You giggled and got up on your feet, turning around to rip off a piece of paper towel that was situated behind you on the counter and wiped your face and chest but it didn’t really do much. Soobin had literal twinkles in his eyes seeing the absolute mess he made of you, straight up looking like his personal hentai fantasy. “Damn,” he hummed contently trying to regulate his breathing so he could calm the fuck down.  

“I think I need another shower.” You sigh, looking down at yourself to assess the damage and once you locked eyes you both erupted in laughter.  

He laced his finger through yours, placing a sweet kiss on top of your hand.  

“I’ll lead the way.”  

After round two in the shower and round three under the sheets of his bed you knocked the fuck out. You were still situated on his chest when you slowly regained consciousness, but somehow waking up felt like hell. You were so disoriented and sore that it took you a minute to realize you weren’t in your own bed. You lifted your head from Soobin’s chest to look around but immediately regretted it. Squinting your burning eyes to get used to the obliterating amount of sunlight coming in through the window. How does he even sleep without blinds, you were seriously contemplating on dragging his ass to the nearest Ikea to come up with a temporary solution.  

Lost in grumpy thought you looked up at Soobin who was still sound asleep, his arm was wrapped around your waist tightly, the sheets barely covering him since you stole most of it in your sleep. His bunny lips were parted slightly, and from his breathing alone you could tell he was still far gone in dreamland. You couldn’t help but notice his beauty, softly smiling to yourself as you brush a piece of hair out of his eyes. You decided to let him sleep some more so you rested your head again, pressing your cheek flat against his chest with your eyes fluttering shut in peace but that same peace was soon disturbed when you heard voices coming from the hallway.  

“Is he ok? He usually doesn’t sleep in this late.” Isabelle’s voice was crystal clear and you were immediately alerted.  

Shit.  

Fuck.  

No.  

Please don’t check on him, please don’t check on him.  

“Should I check on him?” she asked again and that’s when you heard his dad’s voice.  

“No, let him sleep. Maybe he studied till late.”  

Your whole body relaxes as you let out a sigh of relief when you hear them walk down the staircase. You sit up, deciding to wake Soobin up because you still needed to have an actual conversation with him about your mothers’ accusations regarding his dad’s infidelity streak throughout his marriage.  

You seriously didn’t even know how to start, but waking him from his slumber was step one.  

“Hey.” You whisper as you shake him gently, but it only resulted in him mumbling something you didn’t quite understand as he stole the covers off of you, fully wrapping himself like a burrito as he turned his back to you. You chuckle, sitting up on your knees to violently shake him by grabbing onto his shoulders.  

“Wake uuuuuuuup” you nudge his back with your knee this time and that made him jolt right up, almost making you fall off the bed completely.  

He yelped but you quickly clasped your hand over his mouth as he stared at you in bewilderment. “Your parents.” You whispered as you took your hand off of his mouth and that’s when it struck him. “Fuck.”  

“Yeah.” You stare at his bedroom door for a second and almost scream out loud when you felt his cold hands wrap around your waist. He pulled you closer, moving you under him as he covered both of you with the blanket from head to toe. You were stuck beneath him in his makeshift fort and felt him nuzzle his face in your neck. “Now we’re invisible.” He muttered in his low sleepy voice, making you smile in defeat as you started to play with his hair.  

You felt your heart swell in your chest, realizing just how much of a simp you were. Fuck you might just be…falling in love.  

It’s like he noticed how hard your heart was pounding in your chest because he started rubbing your back in calming up and down motions and then it hit you like a brick wall.  

You haven’t felt this save in a man’s arms since…you were a kid.  

“I don’t want to get up.” He mumbled lost in thought, making you look up at him through your lashes. “Me neither.”  

You reluctantly let go of him, sitting up as you removed the covers from yourself and stared into nothingness for a second. Soobin eyed you carefully, putting his hand on your back for comfort. “You don’t have to talk to him or even look at him, I can easily sneak you out, it’s okay.” He was assuming you were stressed about seeing his dad again after everything but the actual thing you were stressed about was telling Soobin what your mom told you.  

You looked back at him and gave him a soft smile, grabbing his hand as you traced his veins gently. “Soobin I’m starting to really fucking like you.” You whisper with a slight crack in your voice which definitely didn’t go unnoticed.  

He sat up immediately, pouting at you as he pulled you close to him. “Ahwww” he furrowed his eyebrows. “Don’t worry okay? Me too. Me three. I do, I really do.” He smiled at you fondly, patting your hair before getting up out of bed. There was something so soft about his masculinity. He wasn’t scared to be affectionate or straightforward. It was one of his qualities you loved most which is what made you so comfortable around him.  

He quickly put sweatpants on and a random shirt he had laying around to then collect your scattered clothes around the room for you, handing them over to you with a shy smile and you instantly melted. You took the articles of clothing from his hold with both hands, and got up to get dressed, contemplating how to start a sudden loaded conversation with him. He watched you carefully, afraid you were going to vanish into thin air for some reason.  

It was scary how much he hated the idea of living here before, and now he couldn’t imagine ever leaving just because he met you. “I wish my mom got to meet you.” It slipped out of his mouth before he could even really think about it but that comment caught you off guard more than it should have.  

“I-” you swallowed harshly. “Me too.” Your eyes turned sad for a second and he immediately regretted what he said. “Ah, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to get all emo on you.”  

Your eyes widened. “Don’t apologize. You’re allowed to miss her Soobin. I really wish I could’ve gotten to know her too, so I could thank her for birthing you. ” you giggled which made  Soobin sigh in relief at your words, giving you a shy smile before he averted his attention to the sudden buzzing of both of your phones.  

Soobin checked his phone, and to his surprise he was added to a group chat with you and your friends, all of them wondering how you two were doing as they spammed both of you with multiple texts. He sighed, showing you the chat once you were completely dressed.  

“They’re asking questions.”  

“Of course they are…” You quickly grab your phone, letting them know that you will talk to them at Uni tomorrow to shut them up for a while. You set your phone down beside you, looking at Soobin as he did the same.  

You bit your lip. “Soobin.”  

“Hmm?” he sat next to you on the bed, biting the inside of his cheek as he waited for you to start talking. “Remember last night when I told you that my mom tried to blame your dad for what happened…”  

Soobins ears perked up, and his body language completely changed, he nodded, waiting for you to continue.  

“While that…of course isn’t completely true, she did tell me that…apparently your dad is like…a serial cheater…” you wish that sentence came out of your mouth more coherently but looking at how Soobin’s whole body tensed up you recon that it wouldn’t have made a difference in outcome.  

“What?” his tone was so different from how he usually talks that it sent chills down your spine. You pouted. “My mom is a lot of things but she’s not a liar…she wouldn’t accuse him of something this big if she didn’t have proof.”  

Soobin closed his eyes, anger filling his whole body as he started to shake. You tried to put a hand on his shoulder but before you knew it he jolted out of the room in a split second.  

Your eyes widened, unsure of what was about to go down but you didn’t hesitate and ran right after him. He nearly flew down the stairs, angrily stomping through the house to find his dad and Isabel at the breakfast bar in the kitchen. 

Both of their eyes widened, and his dad immediately knew something was up. Right then Soobin grabbed him by his collar, easily lifting him off the chair and pushing him against the refrigerator door like a ragdoll. He was seething. Absolutely fuming.

“SOOBIN!” Isabelle got on her feet just as quickly and that’s when she saw you equally as stressed and scared as her. She was even more confused as she locked eyes with you, not knowing when or how you got here.  

“Soobin let go…please” you carefully tried but the sound of your voice made Soobin crash his dad’s back into the fridge even harder this time. “YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!” He spits out. His dad was scared by now but how could he not be? His perfect lie was about to unravel.  “First my mom and now her huh!? Were you going to sleep with this whole town and hope Isabel dies of cancer too so you can fuck up a different family this time!?”  

Oh my god.  

“You’re not even denying it.” Soobin’s voice softened as he watched his father struggle to breathe in his hold.  

He soon let go of him, disgust was written all over his face as he calmly turned to Isabelle, followed by some violent coughs coming from his father’s throat. Your eyes quickly darted to him to see if he was ok, but your attention shifted when Soobin started talking again.  

“I’m sorry Isabelle. But my father slept with y/n’s mother the night of the party, on that couch.” He pointed at the living room cocking an eyebrow as he casually announced the news. And all you could do was watch as Isabelle’s whole world fell apart. You saw something break in her eyes as her gaze redirected to Soobin’s dad who was awfully quiet. Frozen in place with his back still glued to the fridge even though Soobin had already let go of him.  “And apparently there have been many more.” He continued, cocking his head to the side with a bitter smile.  

You couldn’t believe you were witnessing this. Your eyes scanned all of their faces at once as you stood frozen on your feet.  

“Is it true?” you heard Isabelle’s voice crack.  

Soobin wasn’t sticking around for the aftermath, he brushed past them and for a second you thought he was going to leave you there but he dragged you with him into the hallway and that’s when the yelling match started between them.  

You winced as you heard glass break, your eyes widening in shock and disbelief after everything that just went down. “S-Soobin I’m so sorry.”  

He was putting on his shoes, giving you a look. “None of this is your fault.” He said getting back up to look you in your widened eyes. He looked back at the kitchen, hearing the arguing get louder and louder.  

So much for the perfect family his dad tried to create. So much for the empty promises of how things were going to be different this time. But none of it was real. Not when all of this time his dad was living a lie.  

You bit your trembling lip, trying to keep it together when Soobin started to put on your shoes for you, grabbing your coat as he wrapped it around you before holding you at an arm’s length. “I need to go see my sister.”  

His what now? Soobin grabbed his keys, looking at the kitchen one more time before he opened the front door, gently pushing you out and closing the door behind him.  

“You have a sister?”  

“Yeah. She lives like two hours away, but don’t worry. I’ll be back for Uni tomorrow.” He reassured you that he wasn’t going anywhere for too long but the thought of all of this going down without him around felt so wrong. It’s like he was in panic mode. Rushing to escape and get you as far away from this mess as he possibly could.  

Of course you understood. But somehow things were going too fast to process right now.  

“Do we just…leave them alone? I-”  

Soobin opened the trunk of his car, throwing in his jacket before shutting it as you stood there and simply watched him as he paced around. He was completely struck with adrenaline, and you knew there was no way you could stop him from going. If anything, it might do him some good to talk to another family member.  

“Please…drive save okay.” You walked over to him and grabbed his arm to make him look at you and once his eyes landed on you his gaze completely softened. He nodded quietly, pulling you into him. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”  

“It’s…it’s ok.”  

“No, it’s not.” His voice was stern and all you could do was nod, avoiding eye contact altogether.  

He sighed, pulling you into him and nuzzled his nose in your hair, inhaling the perfumy scent of your shampoo once more to calm himself down. Soobin squeezed you in his arms to then let go and kiss you ever so gently, afraid you’d break.  

You reluctantly let go. “Text me when you get there, please…”  

He nodded, smiling at you fondly before getting into his car without another word. He reversed the car out of the driveway and sped off, leaving you feeling empty as ever on the pavement.  

Going home made no sense to you, so your legs took you to the only house that did make sense to go to right now. It started pouring rain in the middle of your way there, but you didn’t care. You were letting the water cleanse you of all the bad energy you just encountered.  

You were worried sick for Soobin, feeling knots form in your stomach as nausea took over. You knew he probably didn’t have a home to return to anymore once he got back and the thought made you feel like it was your fault somehow. He’s been through so much this past year and you knew exactly what it felt like to be alone in a broken home full of lies and secrets.  

You couldn’t help but think of your father. Though your mom’s existence was a good enough reason to leave, you never got a real explanation from either of them. It’s like he was Voldemort. You could never speak of him or ask about him, so you made peace with the whole thing years ago, though it still ate at you from time to time. But this…this whole thing was opening up old wounds that would just leave new scars and you weren’t ready for that. Especially now that you finally felt like you were able to let yourself love someone again.  

Why couldn’t it be easier?  

Your chemistry and dynamic with Soobin came so incredibly natural that it felt like all four forces of nature were trying to sabotage your relationship as some type of balancing act. It was unfair.  

For you, for him, even for Isabelle.  

You were fighting tears the whole way, but when you knocked on Beomgyu’s door and watched his big smile falter when he opened the door for you, you fully broke down.  

“Y/n…” his voice was quiet as he wrapped his arms around you, letting you cry in his arms as he comforted you on the floor of his hallway.  

“You’re soaking wet…did you walk all the way here in the rain? Shit.” He quickly looked around and grabbed his mother’s scarf, wrapping it around you in an attempt to warm you up, but your teeth were still chattering as silent sobs escaped your lips.  

“Let’s get you in dry clothes and then we can talk okay?”  

You locked eyes with him, slowly nodding as you watched his face contort from pure concern to relief.  

“Ok, come on,” he says helping you up.  

“…Soobin?” his sister smiled widely. “You could’ve called! I would’ve made lunch or something.”  

“I’m…I’m not hungry. I actually really need to talk to you.”  

Soobin organized all of his thoughts in his head on the car ride over, he didn’t really know how to break it to her, or how to articulate all the scattered words in his head, but he had to somehow.  

“…Well it must be damn important if you drove all the way here?” she moved aside and led him into the living room, making him sit down on the large sofa.  

He looked around for a second. Feeling how warm, cozy, and loving her home felt just by observing the place. He kicked himself for not coming over more often, but after the move and everything else, he just couldn’t get himself to do so for some reason.  

“Want a tour of the house? You haven’t seen the place since we bought it.” She smiled at him sweetly but the absence in his eyes didn’t go unnoticed by her as he played with his fingers in his lap. She moved her weight from one foot to the other, wanting to sit down next to him on the couch but the moment got interrupted by tiny little footsteps on the hard wooden floor.  

“Uncle Bin! Uncle Bin!” his nephew ran around the corner, making Soobin look up from his hands. His eyes lit up in a split second, holding out his arms for the toddler as he launched his tiny body into Soobin’s arms. “Hey little guy, look at you, you’ve gotten so big!” Soobin lifted the kid up and placed him on his lap, rocking him on his knee as he tickled his belly. “I missed you uncle bin!” Soobin melted, squeezing his eyes shut as he showed his dimples while pursing his lips together. Talk about a cuteness overload.  

“I missed you too, buddy.” He pressed his finger into the identical dimple the child had. They kinda looked alike. At least that’s what everyone tells him.  

His sister smiled at both of them and placed her son on her lap but he was fighting her, wanting to go back to Soobin.“Hey, listen, listen. How about you go upstairs and draw Uncle Soobin something really pretty, and then afterwards you two can go get ice cream? Okay?”  

The kids’ eyes had literal beams emitting from them out of excitement. “Okay! But only if you hang it somewhere special.”  

Soobin hands clasped over his chest where his heart was with a smile and nodded. “Of course! I’ll frame it and hang it up.”  

“At home!” the kid chirped, but Soobin’s smile faltered a bit. “Y-yeah buddy, at home.”  

His sister noticed his drop in energy and protectively moved closer to him.  

“Okay, deal!” the kid was easily convinced as he sprinted upstairs, making both Soobin and his sister sigh in relief.  

She averted his attention to him once more, firmly squeezing his shoulder. He seemed to be feeling better already, though the atmosphere got heavier shortly after his nephew left the room.  

“Why are you really here Bin?” she carefully starts.  

“You want the short version or the long version?” he asks giving her a blank stare.  

“Short…no long.”  

Soobin nodded to himself and inhaled sharply, speaking incredibly fast. “Okay so, I met this girl 'cause she almost hit me with her car and she’s amazing, we’re neighbors, by the way, total coincidence. But her mom is… uhm…well single and one time she invited us over for dinner to welcome us into the neighborhood and even though I connected with y/n, I felt like something was up with dad and her mom so y/n threw a party two nights ago, but the drinks were finished so me and y/n were going to sneak into the house and steal some of dad’s whiskey collection but then we caught her mom and our dad fucking on the couch.”  

With an open mouth, Soobin’s sister was trying to follow his story but the randomness of it all overwhelmed her. “Huh!?”  

“Yeah, so dad cheated on Isabel, and I found out that dad has been cheating on Isabel just like he was cheating on mom during her sickness so I kinda snapped and assaulted him in front of Isabel and y/n and now I’m worried that y/n might see me differently but I literally ran away to come here a minute after that all went down and I don’t know what to do or how to go back, I’m actually going insane” Soobin was gasping for air as he uttered that whole monologue in one breath, carefully awaiting his sisters’ reaction by knitting his eyebrows together as he anticipated her response. So much for organizing his thoughts in the car…  

“Soobin.” She closed her eyes. “what was y/n even doing in the house? Dude, I’m so lost you have no idea, and you left her? Right after you reconstructed dads face?”  

“I didn’t hit him. And why aren’t you reacting to the cheating part, aren’t you pissed? I-”  

“Oh baby bro.” she closed her eyes, leaning back on the couch at a loss for words. “Dad has always been and will always be a piece of shit. Nothing that man does will ever surprise me. I’ve known about some of this but I always tried to shield you from it. I guess now that you’re older the puzzle pieces are starting to fit.”  

Soobin just nodded, drifting back into thought. “I can’t believe I almost bought his caring act.”  

“You know, I don’t think it’s an act. He cares for us deeply but…watching mom die fucked him up…badly.”  

Soobin looked up in surprise. “I’m not saying that it’s an excuse, I’m just saying that he started grieving her while she was still alive in the worst way possible and Isabelle is probably just collateral damage…our childhood was great when they still loved each other…when mom wasn’t sick.” A tear tried to escape from his sisters’ eye but she quickly wiped it away, staring at the picture of their mother on the coffee table.  

He was looking at it too, his heart filling with both love and sadness as he studied his mom’s face. He drifted back into deep thought as the two of them stayed silent for a second.  

“Is y/n your girlfriend?”  

Soobin’s head snapped in his sisters’ direction, it’s as if she sensed that he was thinking of you.  

“We’re…pretty new. But it’s heading in that direction. This all just complicates things.” He swallowed harshly, nervously picking at his cuticles again. “I don’t know how I’ll ever go back.”  

“Soobin…she’ll understand.”  

“I know she does, that’s not what I meant. I meant going back to the house.”  

Her eyes got sad as she watched him and moved closer to envelop him in a hug. He fully gave in wrapping his arms around her frame. “You can move here?” she softly suggested.  

Soobin let go of her, raising his eyebrows at the sudden offer. “Huh?”  

“I mean think about it. I have an extra room now, you can go back to your old college and it’s not like you’re moving across the country…I’m sure that whatever it is that you’re trying to figure out with y/n could also work with a little bit of distance.”  

Soobin’s lips parted as he contemplated the sudden offer. It seemed…viable in some way, but he did have to admit that the thought of moving schools again would suck. Especially now that he’s finally settled and made friends.  And you…oh my god. He knew you well enough that the distance would fuck both of you up for sure. But he had to be realistic and chose between staying, being miserable at home for years to come with a potential relationship that could end because of that miserable situation OR running away and chose not to fight that battle.    

“Won’t your husband mind?” Soobin asks, knowing damn well what the answer to that question was already. But he didn’t know what else to say right now.  

“No, of course not. He loves you.” She shrugged, giving him a pat on the knee. “Just think about it okay? Let’s get that little monster his ice cream.”  

Soobin barely responded to your texts, telling you that he’d drive out early in the morning to go straight to Uni from his sisters’ house right before you went to bed. You barely slept, twisting and turning in Beomgyu’s bed as he took the inflatable mattress on the floor. He demanded you to stay over after you told him everything and decided to obey him just because you really didn’t feel like being alone right now.  

After a quick stop at your house in the morning to shower and get dressed you were headed out for your first class of the day already. Going to school felt odd but it was a blessing in disguise cause it offered some type of normalcy after this hectic weekend. Before you got in Beomgyu’s car you stopped for a second to look at Soobin’s house just to see the empty driveway. You knew he’d be at school when you got there but for some reason, you were more anxious than excited to see him.  

You were waiting for him in the parking lot, your eyes lighting up when he pulled up and got out of the car after parking it swiftly. He looked at you with the exact same sparkles in his eyes and wrapped you in his arms for a long, warm hug.  

You sigh contently, holding him at arm's length. He was wearing dress pants and a white loose-fitting button up…to school?  

“You look…different?” you chuckle to break the silence, fixing a wrinkle in the material on his shoulder.  

“It’s the only thing I could find in my brother-in-law’s closet that fit me.” Soobin snorted, leaning his back against the wall.  

“How was it?” you asked with a hopeful expression but somehow Soobin found it hard to look you in the eye.  

“Uhm…” he started, but paused again. “We talked about my parents and…where it went wrong and stuff. My sister made me realize that her death left different scars on our dad than the rest of us.”  

You blinked at him, not fully comprehending but also kind of understanding what he was saying. “After our talk, I spent some time with my nephew…he’s really cute.” He smiled, missing him already, and seeing the look in Soobin’s eyes you couldn’t help but reciprocate his enamored grin.  

“Did you talk to him yet?”  

Soobin shook his head. “He called me like a hundred times but I’m not ready, Isabelle texted me that I was still welcome and that my dad’s staying at some motel in town, so I won’t have to worry about running into him for the time of being.”  

You moved a piece of his hair out of his eyes. “Well…that’s a temporary solution.” You sigh. “We need to come up with a permanent one.”  

“…Yeah…” Soobin didn’t know how to tell you about the offer his sister made, but he also knew that decisions had to be made fast. “I have to get to class.’ He tells you, checking the time on his phone.  

Seeing how absent he was made your heart feel heavier than ever. It’s like his body was here and his mind was somewhere else. You wished there was more you could do. “I’ll see you in our free period, right?” you asked, and he simply nodded, pulling you in to kiss you softly.  

“Did you guys hear about the festival at school, they want us to dress up as characters,” Beomgyu announces showing you guys the post on the school’s Instagram page.  

“Seems fun,” Taehyun adds, followed by Hueningkai’s loud laugh. “Dress up? Like what exactly?” he questions.  

You were not present at all during this conversation, nervously biting your lip as you kept staring at the door, waiting for Soobin to walk in.  

“Hueningie can dress as a lifesize penguin, Tae as some fighter and I can just be a cowboy-themed stripper.”  

“What about me.” Beomgyu moped.  

Yeonjun shot Beomgyu a pained smile. “You don’t need a costume to blend in.” 

The table laughed and averted their attention to you. “Maybe you and Soobin could do a couples costume? Like batman and batgirl or something. That’s cute.” Yeonjun suggests trying to cheer you up. You broke out your trance, giving him and the others a quick smile. “Y-yeah seems fun.”  

Taehyun was losing his patience with you and rolled his eyes. The whole table was trembling just because you kept shaking your leg in nervousness.  

“Dude quit it. He’ll be here.” He said putting his hand on your knee to make you stop. Your head snapped back, instantly halting your nervous tick as you bit your lip. “Sorry. But you should’ve seen him.”  

“Give the guy some rest, he’s probably still exhausted both emotionally and physically.” You nodded, agreeing with Tae as you crossed your arms on the table with a pout on your face.  

“Do you think he’ll move out?” Hueningkai asks, making Beomgyu look at him funny. “Where would he go?”  

“I don’t know. He has a sister, maybe there?”  

You looked up at Hueningkai with dilated pupils letting your shoulders fall and Yeonjun immediately noticed how sad that comment made you. “Oh my god, Kai shut up, can’t you see she’s already going through it.” He pulled you into him and you just gave in, resting your head on Yeonjun’s shoulder as he patted your head like a cat.  

“His sister lives like two hours away,” Beomgyu muttered through his teeth while leaning towards Hueningkai.  

“Oh...sorry.” Hueningkai quickly apologized with wide eyes, awkwardly laughing the pained atmosphere away as he rocked in his chair.  

“Oh, there he is.” Taehyun cutely waved at Soobin who immediately walked over to your table. You lifted your head off Yeonjun’s shoulder, pushing him aside to make room for Soobin.  

“Ha, I see how it is,” he says rolling his eyes and acting all fake hurt but still proceeded to scoot over so Soobin could sit next to you anyway.  

Soobin gave you a quick peck before he unwrapped his sandwich, not noticing the silence that took over the table as everyone stared at him all at once. He lifted his head, looking around just to get flustered by all of your eyes on him. “…Uh…what?”  

“What do you mean what?” Beomgyu huffed, pushing Soobin’s sandwich aside. “what’s your next move?” he continues.  

“And let us know if we can help in any way,” Taehyun adds.  

Soobin suddenly got overwhelmed with all their pitiful faces but you looked at him attentively, waiting for him to speak.  

“I-I don’t know yet.”  

“Well, what are your options? Do you have options?” Yeonjun asks this time.  

Soobin sighed, staring at his hands. “My sister she uh…” he looked at you this time, pausing for a second. “She offered me to move in with her.”  

All of their eyes darted from Soobin to you. You pursed your lips together, swallowing harshly as you turned to him. “Why didn’t you tell me?” you whispered but of course, everyone could hear.  

“…I…I didn’t know how. But it’s not like I made my mind up yet, I just…”  

You childishly got up and stormed off to avoid either an emotional breakdown or a temper tantrum, leaving everyone at a loss for words back at the table.  

“Dude,” Beomgyu says wide-eyed, watching a frozen Soobin with a shocked face, still glued to his seat. “She came to me crying last night, worried sick about you. She even opened up about her dad for the first time” Beomgyu wasn’t one to get angry fast but he had a distaste for injustice. “What?” Soobin says turning into a statue.

“You do know her dad left under similar conditions, right?” Tae added.  

“I-” Soobin stuttered, eyes guilty and wide. How did he forget?  

“Oh my god, for the love of god, go! Run after her. Go!” Yeonjun says pulling Soobin out of his seat with all of his strength.  

Soobin didn’t fully grasp what was going on but his feet started to run in your direction automatically.  

He spotted you at the end of the hallway. You were speed walking out of the building, so he decided to take the short route in order to catch up to you outside.  

He ran through the large double doors, making a quick turn so he could grab you. “Y/n wait!” Soobin hasn’t run this fast since PE in high school. He was completely out of breath, pulling you into a random alley around the school building.  

You stared at him in bewilderment, quickly wiping your wet eyes so he wouldn’t notice but it was already too late. “`Y/n…” he sulked, grabbing your face with both hands so he could make you look up at him.  

You sniffed, removing his hands from your face and created some distance. “I want…I want to be alone.” You lied.  

The thing is that you knew what was best for him. You knew that moving in with his sister was what he needed to do for himself, but selfishly you wished he’d stay. You wished his future would be brighter with you in it, but not when there’s a dark cloud following him home every day. How could he heal if he couldn’t move on?    

“I thought that…maybe there was something more there than just…sex,” you whispered. It made Soobin’s eyes widen, taking a step closer to you so he could take your hand in desperation.  

“There is! Trust me you know I’d never hurt you like that. I told you how I felt about you so many times but this…y/n it's’ bigger than us. We’ve barely been in each other’s lives for two weeks”  

Ouch. That one rubbed you the wrong way, but in his defense, it just came out of his mouth miserably.  

“So that’s it then? Soobin…do you know how hard It is for me to open up to anyone!?” Anger started to take over as you yanked your hand out of his hold.  

“…You’re acting like there’s no way we can make the distance work.”  

“You’re the one who made it seem like our time together is forgettable enough to not even explore a different option other than moving across the state! We both know that the shift from being literal neighbors to being cities away is going to kill us.”  

“Well staying in that house is going to kill me!” Soobin raised his voice in frustration, making you take a step back in silence as you looked at your feet.  

“It's not fair,” you mumble as your voice cracks, which made Soobin soften up again.  

He didn’t want to admit that you were right, because admitting meant that he had to just be okay with losing you and he didn’t want that. However, deep down he had already made up his mind. There’s nowhere else for him to go other than his sister, and after everything, a family might just be the thing he needs most right now.  

“Y/n I don’t want us to end like this. I don’t want you to feel like I’m choosing not to stay and fight for you. It’s not that black and white. I can’t be a good boyfriend if I stay under their roof. It’ll consume me.” His voice cracked too as he stared at you with despair.  

You looked back at him, trying your hardest to fight your tears. “Then it’s best if we go our separate ways now before someone seriously gets hurt.”  

Why were you doing this?  

Soobin’s eyes widened. “What?”  

“Like you said, it’s barely been two weeks.” You shrugged. Striking first was always your way to cope so you wouldn’t get hurt. It was your way of staying in control, but it was no use because it already hurt. So. Fucking. Much.  

“Y/n…don’t.” Soobin tried to grab your hand again but you didn’t let him. He watched tears spill from your eyes this time, and right before he could say something else you were already gone.  

Your mom was on her weekly grocery shopping spree and not so accidentally stumbled into the department store. She was going to buy you something in hopes it’d make you less angry at her, even if it was just a little bit.  

She was used to the stares from countless men surrounding her. The sound of her heels and the smell of her perfume announced her presence before she walked into the room. It’s like she ran this town as she greeted every employee.

She was scanning aisle after aisle, hoping to get you a cute bag or something until she spotted a familiar tall figure in the luggage section.  

“Yeah, I know. I still have some unpacked boxes, so I’ll just throw the rest in a suitcase.”  

Your mom moved in closer, eavesdropping on the conversation Soobin was having over the phone with his sister. “Why are suitcases so damn expensive,” Soobin mumbled in annoyance, grabbing the tag of another one behind it.  

Your mom squinted her eyes, moving her cart aside so she could get closer to him. “Going on a trip?” your mom’s voice scared the fuck out of Soobin, he nearly dropped his phone and almost knocked over the whole rack of suitcases as they made eye contact.  

Your mom smiled at him widely, raising an eyebrow still calmly awaiting his response. “I…uh…I’ll call you back.” He quickly hung up the phone and regained composure, straightening out his back after putting his phone in his pocket.  

“I’m guessing you’re the reason my daughter’s been extra sad lately?” She assumed, crossing her arms.  

“Uh..extra? I- What do you mean…”  

“She’s always grumpy. cause she lives with me. But ya know…she hasn’t been eating or sneaking out in the middle of the night so I’m guessing.” She rolled her index finger in the air theatrically to end up pointing it in Soobin’s face. “That it has something to do with you.”  

Soobin licked his lips, not knowing how to get out of this one. “I think it’s better if you talk to her about it.”  

“She doesn’t talk to me. We both know that.” Your mom rolled her eyes, making Soobin even more uncomfortable than he already was as he looked around the store.  

“…Mam, I’m sorry but-”  

“You’re not leaving her, right?” She interrupted him. “Because it looks like…you’re leaving,” she said pointing at the suitcase.  

“You and my dad didn’t give me much of a choice.” Soobin bit back. Your mom raised her eyebrow in pleasant surprise. She liked the fire Soobin had in him. Just because it reminded her of herself.  

“Where are you going Soobin?” Your mother asked sternly.  

“To live with my sister.”  

“Where?”  

“It’s like 2 hours away.” Soobin sighed, but that made all the puzzle pieces fall into place in your mothers’ brain.  

“Soobin. You’re not leaving my daughter like this, not another man. You can’t just pack up your shit and go. She already went through that once. It wasn’t pretty.”  

“She…she broke up with me? And it’s not like I want to. I don’t have much of a choice.” Soobin says in his defense. It was like he was reliving the last conversation he had with you.  

“Oh, you dumbo, do you really think, that someone as in love as her would selfishly make you stay in a situation that would make you unhappy? I might not be mom of the year, but I know my baby.”  

Soobin paused for a second…hold on….in love? He wasn’t quite following anymore, too overwhelmed with the fact that he was even having this conversation with your mom of all people.  

“Let’s go talk somewhere else shall we.” She said looping her arm through Soobin’s. He mindlessly followed her, feeling like he got kidnapped in public.  

It didn’t take long before they made it to a random café, your mom got both of them coffees as they sat down at a table outside. Soobin politely thanked her for the drink, wrapping his hands around his hot cup.  

“First off. I apologize for taking part in…your life going to shit.” Your mom immediately says as she sits down in front of him.  

Soobin’s eyes widened, swallowing harshly. “But just so you know, if it wasn’t me it would’ve been the other housewife next door so…”  

Soobin snorted, bitterly smiling at his cup. “With all due respect, it would’ve made things less complicated if it was the other housewife.”  

Your mom let out a cackle, admiring his sense of humor. “I bet yeah…But I mean it. I’m sorry.”  

He nodded and silence took over completely. Your mothers’ expression switched from playful to worried as she watched Soobin take a sip of his drink. “I’ve never seen my daughter happier than she has been for the past two weeks you know.”  

“I got the impression that you weren’t really around to notice,” Soobin says taking a bite of his complimentary biscuit while remaining eye contact. For an introvert, he was really pushing his social boundaries today, cause he was bolder than ever.  

Your mom scoffed. “I’m a single mom with a daughter in college. Someone has to pay for that tuition, and I can’t really make that happen by sitting around, can I?”  

Soobin raised his eyebrows, nodding to show that he understood. He didn’t want to ask any further questions because he knew that getting answers to how your mom made her money would complicate things even further, but he could definitely guess.  

“Speaking of college. Have you tried the dormitory?” She asked interrupting Soobin’s thoughts.  

Soobin nodded, leaning back in his chair. “They had no available units cause it’s the middle of the semester and even if they did it's too expensive.”  

Your mothers’ ear perked up. “I can help.”  

“What? No. I’m not taking your money.”  

“No, no. I mean…I know someone on the board of your Uni. I could easily make it happen.”  

“…H-how?” Soobin was showing interest now, waiting for her to continue talking.  

“Ever since I found out y/n was accepted into that school I started cozying up to one of the school board members if you know what I mean. To make life a bit easier for us if needed.”  

Soobin couldn’t help but scrunch his nose at the revelation, but he had more questions. “Why would he help?”  

“Because he doesn’t want his wife and kids to know what daddy did two summers ago.” Your mom grimaced wiggling her eyebrows, making Soobin cover his mouth in disbelief.  

Shit.  

“That’s evil…but I’m in.” Soobin says with determination in his eyes, mimicking your mom’s mischievous grin.  

“Leave.” You were hiding under your blanket, trying to get Yeonjun to leave you the fuck alone this Friday night. You didn’t even know how he got in here, but you can only imagine that it was your mom’s doing.  

You were still mourning your potential relationship with Soobin and couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that he had probably already left without saying goodbye.  

“No.” he groaned, rubbing his forehead. “It’s the costume party tonight. Get your ass up.”  

“I’m not fucking going.” You protest, turning your back towards him like a child. 

“Yes, you are, get up. Fun is what you need. It’s what I need,” he says shaking you violently to get a reaction out of you.  

“I don’t even have a costume.”  

“Yes, you do. I made Beomgyu pick up the batgirl costume for you.”  

“What?”  

“I’m a Virgo, y/n. I think before you do.” Yeonjun winked but you still weren’t really warming up to the idea of leaving your house for a stupid college party.  

“There’s no batgirl without batman.” You mumble bitterly.  

“Now…that’s not very feministic of you.”  You rolled your eyes but Yeonjun’s patience was running thin as per usual. He sighed, ripping the covers off of you. 

“Trust me. Please.” Yeonjun climbed on top of your bed and looked at you with desperate eyes.  

He stared at you fiercely and you stared back, but when he started to pout you gave in, aggressively kicking the air before getting up. “Where’s the fucking costume?” you spit out in defeat.  

Yeonjun’s eyes lit up, giggling like a baby as he pulled the costume out of his bag.  

Luckily it didn’t take too long to get ready, Yeonjun assisted where he could and pushed you out of the front door in no time. He gave your mom a quick wink, who was situated on the couch with a glass of wine in her hand. She raised the wine glass towards Yeonjun and took a sip, smiling to herself as she averted her attention back on the tv once you both left.  

“Woooow, look who it issss, It’s batgirl!” Beomgyu beamed at you, excitedly walking over as he held out his hand for you. He made you twirl around for him once and you could help but crack a smile, especially since he handed you your favorite drink. “You look great!” He screamed over the blaring music.  

“So do you…but uhm…what is…” you tried to guess who he was supposed to resemble but you had no idea to be completely honest.  

“I found out Yeonjun changed his costume to sexy vampire, so I dressed as Buffy the vampire slayer.” Beomgyu chirps wiggling his eyebrows up and down. 

You cackled out loud, showing a genuine smile for the first time in a while. “It’s ok if people don’t get it, he’ll definitely understand, and hate me for it,” he says with a mischievous grin on his face. “Well, you look very handsome Buffy.” You compliment him before you both down the drinks in your hands in one go.

Shortly after you watched Hueningkai and Taehyun approach dressed as the penguin from happy feet and Mike Tyson, the boxer. Tae even drew the gap in his teeth with some black marker and you applauded his eye for detail followed by all of you touching the fluff on Hueningkai’s adorable suit.  

You were thankful for them, just an hour ago you would rather stay in than be here but now that you were actually having fun again you felt so much better already.  

You looked around, raising your eyebrow. “…Hey, where is Yeonjun?”  

Yeonjun’s sexy vampire attire was more than in the way as he ran across campus. The fucking shit he does for his friends is insane. His cape was flying in the air as he ran towards the dormitory building, catching stares and laughs from people all around.  

He got there out of breath, knocking on the door of the room across his own with the little energy he had left. “I’m here.” He announced, and that’s when the door opened with a dramatic swing.  

Soobin’s bottom half was dressed in the batman costume and his top half was well…nude.  

Yeonjun eyes traveled down his body before making eye contact shortly after to snap out of it “…You’re late! WHY did you call me here, she’s already at the party and why aren’t you dressed?”  

“I can’t get in this thing by myself, it’s tight as hell and I can’t zip it from the back either,” Soobin complained as he pulled Yeonjun into his room, closing the door behind him so Yeonjun could help him get dressed in private.  

“Aren't you glad this room comes with blinds” Yeonjun teased as he pulled on the spandex with all his power from one side as Soobin pulled on the other side.  

Soobin rolled his eyes with a smirk finally getting one arm into the suit, followed by the other shortly after. The sight must’ve been a hilarious one to see because the two of them were moaning and groaning, completely out of breath by the time Yeonjun was able to zip up Soobin’s suit.  

“Now let’s hope you don’t have to pee 'cause I’m not helping you do that.” Yeonjun jokes which made Soobin shove him aside with a smirk.  

“Here’s the mask,” Yeonjun says grabbing it from Soobin’s bed. “Now let’s go. I’m dying to see the look on her face once she sees you.”  

Yeonjun was already at the door but Soobin hesitated, looking in the mirror with big insecure eyes as his gaze met Yeonjun’s. “What if she actually hates me.”  

“She doesn’t,” Yeonjun says grabbing Soobin by the arm. “Trust me. She’ll be happy to see you, just don’t forget to mention the fact that you’re staying.” He says giving Soobin aggressive pats on the back before the two of them left for the party.  

You went around the building to get into photobooths and talk to some of your classmates. Everyone was complimenting you on your costume but even though you were usually awkward with compliments, you decided to confidently own it and thank them with a smile. A fake one at that, because even though this thing was a good distraction, Soobin still lived in your mind rent-free.

You avoided the crowd on the dance floor and walked over to the table your friends had already claimed prior to exploring the grounds. “Ok, I’m seriously starting to get worried about Yeonjun. What if he ran into one of his exes?” you say as you sit down.  

“He's over there,” Taehyun announced, pointing at the entrance and that’s when you saw Yeonjun, followed by some masked dude in a batman costume. You looked at your attire and then back to him...and that’s when it clicked when you noticed his unique lip shape.  

It was Soobin.  

Your eyes widened as you stiffened and before you could say anything Beomgyu got up, running off to the dance floor while Tae gave you a motivating pinch on the shoulder followed by a thumbs up from Hueningkai as they followed Beomgyu to give you some privacy.  

You stared at Soobin in disbelief, although, it didn’t quite go unnoticed how good he looked in the skin-tight suit he had on.  

Shit. Shit. Shit.  

Why would they arrange this!?  

“I’ll leave you two to it.” Yeonjun gave you a wink, pushing Soobin down on a chair he pulled out next to yours.  

As Yeonjun disappeared it was hard for you to look at Soobin. You were literally going to kill your friends for doing this. Putting you in matching outfits was one thing but leaving you alone was another.  

Soobin bit his lip, wishing it wasn’t this awkward between you two. “You know…I walked around campus with a spandex wedgie, had Yeonjun dress me and everyone kept looking at me so I would…appreciate it if…you’d talk to me.”

He started to nervously bounce his leg up and down awaiting your response and that’s when you couldn’t hold it in anymore. You looked at him, cracking a smile. “We look…ridiculous.” You start, making Soobin smile at you from ear to ear. “We do.” He looked at the table and then back at you with a shy smile, taking your hand in his own as he sighed. “I’m sorry about…our fight. I never should’ve said the things I did and-”  

“I’m sorry too. I realized I was just…pushing you away.” You interrupted him which made him sigh in relief as he nodded.  

“But I don’t think it changes anything Soobin, like…it’s really sweet that you showed up and it’s even sweeter that your introverted ass went to these lengths to do so but…you’re still…leaving.”  

Soobin looked up with wide eyes, remembering that he still had to disclose the biggest fucking turn of events.  

“I…I’m not leaving.” Soobin says, which made your head snap back into his direction, your shaky pupils looking for more answers in his own as your heart stopped beating.  

“Huh?” your mouth fell agape, and he nodded to assure you that he wasn’t playing with you.  

“It was your mom actually.” Soobin smiled.  

“…My mom?” you raised your eyebrows in surprise.  

“She got me enrolled into the dorms here.”  

“What!? How!?”  

“She…knew a guy.” He vaguely explained.  

“…Of course she did.” You smiled to yourself in disbelief but for the first time in a long time, you were happy that your mom is who she is.

“…Why didn’t you tell me before? The past week had been absolute hell.”   Soobin pouted, squeezing your hand for comfort. “I wanted to be 100% sure. I didn’t want to give you any false hope if shit didn’t work out and I literally got the keys to the place today, you wouldn’t believe it; I live right across from Yeonjun so that’s going to be…eventful.”  

You listened to him speak attentively, with stars in your eyes. Your heart swelling more and more by the second.  

“Once he found out he and Beomgyu set the whole mission of reuniting batgirl and batman in action so…here I am.” He remarks as he opened his arms.  

A smile crept up on your lips, launching yourself forward to kiss him as you swiftly moved onto his lap; not caring who was watching or that you were in public.  

Soobin was startled at your directness at first but immediately relaxed into the kiss once you moved sideways on his lap. He wrapped his arms around you, firmly grabbing onto your waist so you wouldn’t slip and slide against him because of your costumes’ as he skillfully yet passionately made out with you.  

You were pulled out of your little bubble as you heard cheering from the dance floor. You both stopped for a second, looking back as you see the boys cheering, clapping, and celebrating as they looked your way and all you could do was laugh at them.  

So maybe you could have your happily ever after after all? 

They minded their business again soon after, but somehow it made you want to join them with all of the adrenaline still rushing through your bloodstream.  

“Come on, let’s dance.” You tried to get up but Soobin stopped you from moving, violently shaking his head. “You’ve awoken the monster.” He says, looking down at his crotch.  

“What?” you stared at him in disbelief. You knew you looked hot, but this…  

You couldn’t help but laugh at the bizarre situation, but he just sulked at you.  

“Y/n if I get up the suit might rip, just so you know.”  

“Well then stop it!” you yell  

“I can’t control it!” he yells back.  

You clasped your hand over your mouth to stop laughing, but Soobin gave you a scowl, throwing his head back in pain. “Well, what do we do about it?” you ask.  

“…”  

He crashed his lips into yours once you made it past the entrance to his new room. He pushed your back onto the mattress, yanking your body down the bed by your legs which made you yelp at his eagerness and the way he was manhandling you. “Soobin the…fucking suits,” you interrupt, making him halt his movements for a while.  

He thought about it for a good second, knowing damn well the two of you would not be going back to that party anyway. He turned you around, giving your ass a hard smack before ripping the suit apart at the hem by your butt. You gasped in shock, but he pushed you back down with an evil smirk, ripping his own suit apart as well to reveal his dick. He pumped himself a few times, spitting on your pussy and his own length to make this more enjoyable for the two of you as he swiped the wetness up and down your slit with his tip.

“You good?”  

You nodded into his pillow, hugging it as you lay on your stomach. He inserted himself gently inch by inch, making the two of you sigh in relief when he bottomed out into you. He eyed your reaction but you seemed to enjoy it, so he started moving slowly, steadily pumping his length in and out of you as your moans grew louder once he found a nice rhythm. This position was new to both of you, but it felt amazing as he grazed all the right spots deeper than ever.  

“You take me so well baby.” He whispered in your ear, which gave you goosebumps all over. He leaned his chest against your back, reaching around to squeeze your tits that were still snugly fit inside the stupid batgirl suit with his large hands.  

His movements started to get rougher, skin-slapping sounds filling the room accompanied by both of your moans and groans. You were feeling euphoric, your eyes rolling back as he crashed his hips into you harder and harder. His hand moved from your chest to your throat, cutting off your breathing by pinching the sides of your throat just the right way until it sent you over the edge completely.  

You screamed his name as you came, desperately gasping for air but seeing you so fucked out and helpless only edged him on to keep going. You were grabbing fistfuls of his sheets as he continued to prone bone you into the mattress until he reached his own high, you were completely overstimulated, but you couldn’t say that you hated it, in fact; you think you might've just discovered a brand new kink. He pulled out right before he erupted, coating the back of your suit with cum as he let out a loud groan filled with pure ecstasy.  

His breathing was ragged, but he looked down at you in awe as he calmed down. “So pretty.” He mused, watching how the moonlight coming from the window shone on your cum covered bare ass.  

You looked back at him with a corny smile, before realizing where the only source of light was coming from…. his goddamn window.  

“Soobin…for the love of god.” You say pointing at the open window.  

“yeah, yeah I know.” He said quickly putting on a random pair of basketball shorts over his suit so his dick wouldn’t flop out.  

You giggled and went into his bathroom to clean yourself up quickly. Soobin however was still on cloud nine and moved around the room like a sloth. He turned on the lights so he could shut the curtains but just as he took a hold of the curtain to close it, he froze; watching a frat guy give him a thumbs up from the windowpane of the opposite building.  

Fuck.  

It seems like Soobin is and will always be…someone’s naked neighbor.  

The end

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