#post-TLD angst
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Mirror
Tw: Graphic Depiction of Violence and Alcoholism.
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John's eyes fluttered open as the bright sunlight hit his eyes through the bedroom window.
John had overslept. He sat up on his bed and held his head in his hands. It throbbed with pain because of last night's hangover.
John could feel his own bad breath from his mouth - not to mention his body, which was stinking with sweat.
John knew he couldn't sleep anymore, so he slowly dropped his feet on the floor, wore his slippers and got off the bed to walk towards the bathroom door and get in.
John had been staying in the house he had once shared with Mary in the sub-urbs. Even after her death. After all, he wouldn't dare to ask Sherlock if he could move back in to Baker Street in this pathetic, alcoholic state, would he?
John closed the bathroom door behind him and grabbed his toothbrush and paste.
He could not even be a proper father to Rosie. Right now, his daughter was staying with Molly.
John didn't even feel an ounce of shame dumping her there.
He opened the tap to wet his brush, and half-heartedly applied some paste on it before putting it in his mouth.
As John stared at his own puffy, red eyes in the mirror, the images of that day in the hospital morgue flashed before him. For the millionth time.
John's left hand - which was monotonously brushing his teeth - trembled at the image of Sherlock lying on the morgue floor and taking his brutal kicks and punches. Sherlock's previously beautiful face, swollen and reddened. Blood dripping out of his mouth as he coughed because of John's monstrosity.
John had thought of Sherlock as an emotionless, thinking machine a couple of times before, hadn't he?
Then beating Sherlock up in the morgue, with no fault of his, despite being in love with him ever since John had met him - what did that make John?
It was as though the bathroom mirror had helped John with some self-reflection, albeit in a cruel way.
He's not a sociopath. I am, he thought as he felt his throat tighten - not necessarily because of having kept the toothbrush in his mouth for too long.
***
Sherlock September Challenge.
Prompt: Mirror by @onesmallfamily
Tags: @helloliriels @topsyturvy-turtely @keirgreeneyes @lisbeth-kk @gaylilsherlock @peanitbear @a-victorian-girl @calaisreno @curlyjohnlock @kettykika78 @missdeliadili @lookingforlifeoutthere .
#johnlock#bbc sherlock#john watson#sherlock holmes#sherlock holmes/john watson#sherlock x john#sherlockian#sherlock headcanon#ficlet#new ficlet#30 days of sherlock september 2023#prompt: mirror#angst#introspection#tw: violence#tw: alcholism#canon compliant#post-TLD angst
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turtely's OTP challenge
now on Ao3! (tumblr link)
read day 4 here:
summary: John is tearing himself apart with his self-hatred. Why? Because he is visiting Sherlock in the hospital. After John himself beat him up. He tries to fix it, tries to apologize, but will his attempts ever be enough?
General Audience, 1,586 words. Additional Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending. Post-TLD, Fix-it, John Watson has Issues, he is working on it, Sherlock is a Sweetheart, he is literally too precious, Pre-Slash, but can definitely be read as Johnlock, (obviously it's me lol)
gif from smartin's gifset
tag list! (tell me if you wanna be added or removed please 💚) @justanobsessedpan @helloliriels @catlock-holmes @fluffbyday-smutbynight @inevitably-johnlocked @hisfavouritejumper @rhasima @forfucksakejohn @ohlooktheresabee @turbulenttrouble @so-youre-unattached-like-me @totallysilvergirl @peanitbear @train-mossman @loki-lock @smulderscobie @timberva @grace-in-the-wilderness @chinike @jawnn-watson @whatnext2020 @escapingthereality @missdeliadili @kettykika78 @musingsofmyown @7-percent @speedymoviesbyscience @astudyin221b @francj15 @ladylindaaa @we-r-loonies @mxster-jocale @sherlockcorner @noahspector @our-stars-graveside @jobooksncoffee @baker-street-blog @macgyvershe @myladylyssa @battledress @a-victorian-girl @dreamerofthemeadow @oetkb12 @ohnoesnotagain @mutedsilence @jawnscoffee @raenchaosandcozyadashofmurder @lisbeth-kk @quickslvxrr @compact-and-beautiful
#turtely writes#turtely's OTP challenge#what does a turtle do when sick? posting her 2year old fics on tumblr!!#happy about reblogs! 🥰#johnlock#johnlock fic#angst with a happy ending#sherlock#john watson#sherlock holmes#bbc sherlock
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Five Fics Friday: April 26/24
Happy Friday everyone!!!! Hopefully we can start off the weekend right with these fantastic fics!! Hope y'all enjoy!!
RECENT MFLs
Hyperballad by PlantsAreNeat (G, 893 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Feels, Drugs, POV Sherlock) – Sherlock has bought cocaine after his doubts and fears about his and John's new relationship prey on his mind. Not exactly a danger night, but not not one either.
Smoke by lifeonmars (T, 4,827 w., 1 Ch. || Marijuana, Recreational Drug Use, Fluff, Humour, Rock and Roll) – Sometimes time and space collide to show you something you've been missing. Sherlock's pipe helps.
A Thing With Peas by khorazir (M, 25,508+ w., 2/3 Ch. || Post-S3/Post-TLD/TFP Doesn't Exist, Fluff and Angst, Communication, Demisexual Sherlock, Asexuality, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Idiots in Love, Friends to Lovers, Developing Relationship, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Parentlock, First Kiss) – Sherlock does the laundry. John cooks a thing with peas. They talk. Finally.
There I Saw You, Night by esplanade (T, 54,073 w., 12 Ch. || Writer AU || Poet Sherlock, Writer John, True Love, Sherlock's A Mess, Conversations, John's Family) – "It wasn't as if he had stopped writing entirely. Quite the opposite, in fact. It was just that most of what he wrote ended up thrown into the fireplace at home. What was the sense in keeping something that was sub-par?"
RECENTLY BOOKMARKED LOKIUS FIC
like a flood spills away as a world stains by RunnyYolk (T, 34,055 w., 4 Ch. || LOKI SERIES || S0103 Divergence, Alternating POV, Developing Friendship, Developing Relationship, Mutual Pining, Denial of Feelings, Feelings Realization, Trust Issues, Angst, Introspection, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Existential Angst, Flashbacks, Recovered Memories, Psychological Torture/Abuse, Touch-Starvation, Affection, Tenderness, Hand Holding, Emotional Friendship, Hair Pulling, Touching, Softness) – Loki groans and his elbows slide forward as he slumps over the side of the desk. "Do not tell me you left all the signature fields blank again." "It makes it easier when I check." "It adds a ridiculous amount of time! Do you actually enjoy this part, is that it? Are you a masochist?" Mobius smirks, shaking his head, and stands up. "Just go to bed, scamp." Part 3 of where the edge began
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Just a quick note to say this piece features an almost-argument and Cedrix being a prat, and is therefore more angsty than my usual writings. If that’s not your thing, feel free to skip!
(Additional warning for cringey nicknames.)
Read on Wattpad - Read on AO3 - Previous prompt fills
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“Cedrix!! Guess what I found!”
“Hmm?” Cedrix looked up from the sword he’d been slowly polishing, quickly moving the blade out of the way as his husband bent down to kiss him hello. Tim had something hidden behind his back, and was practically bouncing with excitement.
“What?”
“Guess!”
Despite his insistence, Cedrix suspected Tim would be at least slightly disappointed were he to guess correctly. Luckily, he had absolutely no idea.
“I have no idea.” He said.
“Tada!”
With a flourish, Tim whipped out the mystery object. Cedrix leant back before it could hit him in the face.
“The Hermits Guide to Friendship,” He read, “Volume Eight?”
“Isn’t it great!” Said Tim, flopping down beside Cedrix. Cedrix only just managed to move his sword out of the way in time. “I thought they’d stopped making them.”
“So did I.” Muttered Cedrix.
Usually, Tim’s enthusiasm was infectious. This was not one of those times.
“So much for C-J’s retirement.” He scoffed, returning his attention to his blade and refusing to look up as Tim began to leaf through the pages. Why Tim was so enamoured with that ridiculous book he couldn’t fathom.
He continued running his sword over the whetstone, annoyed at Tim for breaking his concentration. Of course, the real reason he was annoyed was the fact that Tim apparently though their marriage was going so spectacularly badly that he felt the need to seek out advice from a proven charlatan, and Cedrix was well aware of this. Consequently, he did what he always did when faced with his own insecurities.
He stubbornly ignored it.
“I think this is a different CJ,” Tim was saying, “The writing style is different.”
Well, it was nice to know Cedrix hadn’t given Tim’s tower away in vain. Although if whoever had replaced Diago as CJ Themir ever wanted an out, Cedrix was staying well away.
Tim continued to read. Cedrix continued to pretend he wasn’t sulking. Eventually, however, he couldn’t resist a sarcastic quip.
“Any good advice?”
Impervious to Cedrix’s bad mood, Tim was his usual cheerful self as he replied.
“Of course not.”
Cedrix could have told him that without even opening the cover.
“Perhaps you should ask for your money back.” He sneered, well aware that he was trying to start an argument and equally as aware that Tim wouldn’t rise to it. Somehow, that just made him more annoyed.
Sure enough, Tim just giggled.
“I didn’t buy it for the advice, silly.”
Cedrix just grunted, then almost cursed as Tim’s hand reached for his own. Usually this would have be fine, but usually Cedrix wasn’t holding a razor sharp blade.
“Careful!” He snapped, jerking the sword, and his hand, out of Tim’s reach. Still refusing to look at his husband he abruptly stood, stepping around the whetstone to place the weapon back on the rack. He was still angry. He pretended it wasn’t at himself.
“Ceddy?”
Even the childhood nickname wasn’t enough to get Cedrix to turn around. His insistence on ensuring the sword he’d returned was perfectly straight wasn’t fooling anyone. Least of all himself.
“Why did you buy the damned thing?” He muttered, only half intending Tim to hear him. The armoury’s echo made the decision for him, sending his words reverberating around the suddenly too silent room.
Even so, Tim’s reply was barely audible.
“It reminded me of how we met.”
Guilt wasn’t a sensation Cedrix was familiar with, but he felt it now. He’d heard the tremble in Tim’s voice, and suddenly he hated himself. Truthfully, his anger was at himself, terrified that he hadn’t been a good enough husband, and he’d been heartless enough to turn that anger on Tim.
If he could do that, maybe he wasn’t a good husband after all.
All the fight drained out of him. He returned to Tim’s side on autopilot, not looking up even after he sat down, instead staring at his hands without seeing them. It was only when he felt a hesitant squeeze that he even realised Tim had slowly laced their fingers together.
“Ceddy?”
“I’m sorry.” They were usually the hardest words for Cedrix to say, but now they were easy. Almost too easy.
“I’m sorry.” He said again. They still weren’t enough.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No!” Cedrix’s head snapped up. Tim was watching him with a caution that broke Cedrix’s heart, eyes watery and lips trembling.
“No.” Cedrix repeated, and in an instance his anger was back. This time, it was directed exactly where it belonged. At himself.
“No,” He said again, stronger this time, “I was being a prat.”
Startled, Tim let out a watery laugh. Taking a risk, Cedrix squeezed his hand. Tim squeezed back.
Suddenly Cedrix found himself wanting to talk, to explain to Tim everything he feared and everything he was insecure about. To explain that he’d never once imagined himself being loved by someone so incredible, and that there were times he never thought he’d be worthy of it. To explain his fears that one day Tim would look at him and see all his imperfections, and decide he just wasn’t worth it anymore. To explain that seeing that book had reminded him just how little he knew about relationships, and just how scared he was that one day he would screw up so irreparably that he’d lose Tim forever.
He wanted to explain all of this.
He didn’t know how.
Somehow, Tim understood it anyway.
“You can be a prat,” He agreed, and this time it was Cedrix that laughed even as he cried, “But I love you anyway. Just like how I can be clumsy and unsafe and you love me anyway.”
“It’s easy to love you.” Cedrix sniffed. At some point the two of them had gravitated toward each other, and now Cedrix closed the gap, resting his forehead against his husband’s. He felt tears on his cheeks. They could have been his, or they could have been Tim’s. It was impossible to tell.
“It’s never easy to love someone,” Tim countered, so close Cedrix could feel the words as he spoke them, “But it’s worth it. And we don’t need a book to tell us what to do when things go wrong.”
He gave Cedrix’s hand one final squeeze.
“We’ll just work it out together.”
#writersmonth2020#tld:prompts#tld#timrix#angst#days nine and ten are coming!#ten is done but i want to post them in order so#i promise there's happy fluff coming
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Demons Series
Description: Set toward the end of The Lying Detective. With Ella's help, John decides to start actively pursuing what he wants in spite of the demons standing in his way.
Review: This series has two installments, one from John's POV and the other from Sherlock's. I love both of them, they add to each other and isn't just a retelling of the same story. There's a special place in my heart for fics that center around therapy, Sherlock and John trying to help themselves be better with each other. So this fic was such a joy to read and I probably will again.
Rating: E
😭
#johnlock fic#johnlock fanfic#johnlock fic rec#johnlock fanfic rec#johnlock fanfiction#demons#where my demons hide#therapy#post tld#tld#during tld#during s4#developing relationship#friends to lovers#angst#rating: e#10 to 50k#ella#suicidal sherlock#junkie sherlock#druggie sherlock#😭
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The Death and Resurrection of a Beekeeper by shiplocks_of_love
Johnlock Love Letters #1672
Post s4 Sherlock escapes London to Sussex, exhausted after the whirlwind of drama following Mary’s death. One day, a letter from John arrives.
#JL3#Johnlockloveletters#johnlock#love letter#love declarations#fan fiction#Post s4#Sussex#estranged relationship#<25k#epistolary#estranged friends to lovers#emotional trauma#angst with a hopeful ending#s4 fix it#post tld
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“ no one is untouchable “
#johnlock#angst#the lying detective#tld#bbc sherlock#sherlock#sherlock s4#john john watson#dr john watson#martin freeman#sherlock holmes#benedict cumberbatch#freebatch#my post#my screencaps#my edits#quote
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A fanart for inktober day 17 (swollen).
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Call Me Friend But Keep Me Closer
Part two of series on ao3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/17433272
Click for part one
(thanks again to @writingwife-83 for the prompt that has extended itself)
It's just so much to carry, that’s all.
The words rang in his head, echoing from her room, waltzing into his ears. He stood at the door, but wouldn’t open it yet. She was right, she always was, and he knew that at least.
A reckless plan it had been and yet here he sat with John in 221b in a quiet and contemplative silence. The air lighter than it had been in months. Clean veins, but disheveled mind. He closed all the doors and yet the sounds invade. Perhaps today he cannot ignore them.
John shifted and looked at his phone, “Ah, time to pick up Rosie.” With it said he stood, waiting for Sherlock’s response.
“ Yes …” Sherlock murmured looking out into the room absently but adjusted quickly sitting up in his chair. “ Yes . I’ll call you if any cases come up.”
“You ok, Sherlock ?”
Sherlock looked up to see his friend’s typical look of concern.
“Always,” Sherlock half grinned.
John scrunched his face, asking the question they all ask too often.
“Not feeling like…?”
“No John, I know my limit has been reached with those experimentations,” Sherlock sighed. “No, quite well. Just need to do some tidying up in my mind. Shuffle some things around.”
“Ah, well. I’ll leave you to it then.” He moved toward the door but paused as he grabbed his coat and turned, “Call me, I mean it, if you need me.”
“Will do. Good day give Rosie my love,” Sherlock said with a wave of his hand as he steepled his fingers as the door closed.
He could have asked John. But what good would it do to bring someone else in something that felt invasive and private. He continually pushed the narrative of The Woman and to throw Molly under the same scrutiny felt cruel. Those who found love insisting on finding it for others was all John’s aim. A natural human compulsion. Even Mrs Hudson tried it. His brother understood at least of marriage of another kind.
In the silence he sat and reached out letting his mind open the door to the hall. Her room sat at the end. He saw sunlight creeping around its edges, like it always did. Words jumbled in the air now as he reached for the knob.
Love whispered by his ear and he paused.
“You can run away you know, just blink your eyes and open them wide.”
He turned his head to his left in his mind. She looked at the door with him. He studied her. His Molly , wait no…
“It’s ok, Sherlock. You can call me your Molly . I mean, I am the one in your head so I can’t be anyone else’s.”
A grin. He watched it spread as she talked. But her eyes stayed on the door, waiting for him.
Why did he have control of her now? He rarely did in his mind, even less outside it. No... that is a lie to himself. He had more control than he ever wished. The power to give and take at will. He pushed that thought away.
The words flowed out the room in the beams of light, waiting to be sorted and pieced into a complete thought . Ready to face their meanings, he grabbed the knob, and it turned with ease.
Her bedroom. Perhaps the lab at Barts would be more useful. And in the past it was where she roamed in his mind. But time and experience made a new place of dwelling in her place in his life. Her bed looked so comforting he almost gave up the idea of seeking understanding but she was there, tossing papers on the duvet. In that jumper, bright colored stripes with a more sophisticated blouse underneath. The last time he kissed her cheek. The last time he truly appealed for her help and thanked her.
He sighed, and she smiled, as if to herself, and then she was gone . A scattering of the words she last said to him when she assumed him at rest displayed before him.
And some older ones as well, he noted as his fingers shuffled them around. Papers gone yellow with time, wrinkled and some crisp white on fine stationery laid out on a white soft duvet. He stared at the pillows, asking himself when he last slept, in her bed or anywhere except his sofa. But he shook the thought away for the work ahead.
Never ending it seems when one finds themselves in your circle.
Loaded words, spoken with a bitterness that he picked up first.
“You can stay there if you want, self loathing ripe for picking, eh?”
She stood beside him again that same knowing grin. He frowned and tossed that phrase to the side.
“Maybe this one?”
He glanced to where she pointed but grabbed another piece and lifted it to read.
There were a couple others after Tom. Close call with one.
He wanted to remember a name, but he had deleted it. He scanned the bed to see if she said it if any ivory sheet could provide a clue.
“Oh Sherlock, why does it matter his name? I moved on, right?” she huffed as she walked behind him and to the other side of the bed.
He looked up and spoke finally to her.
“Because he was important I assume. A friend should remember such things," he huffed back tossing the paper down to a discard pile he started.
Locked eyes, she whispered with a near pout shaking her head, “Oh we know we aren’t just friends though.”
He stared desperately waiting for new words but she disappeared again.
He rifled around quickly, pushing papers aside and found the phrase he sought.
Friends only, right?... But you kissed my cheek and asked me for chips... maybe you loved me then in a way.
He stared at the words, recalling her sigh as he lay stiff still in fear of her discovering him awake. The last words sounded tight as if she was frowning.
And she was right. It was for naught but she was right.
He felt the ache of his own humanity upon returning home. And he thanked her for her help. Greedy for her time again, and knowing that ring on her finger sat heavy on her hand already, he asked anyway. Why did he kiss her cheek? Like an apology, he thought, though to be exact it felt selfish like taking a piece of a puzzle that he could keep her from completing.
“You say terrible things.”
She spoke at his side again. Arms folded. He shifted to look into her eyes again. Bright and open and... more real than anything else in the room. He memorized every shade of yellow and coloured strand in the brown and recreated it every time.
He gulped as she turned facing him, holding his stare, answering the safe answer, “I know but I said I hoped you were happy. I still do. You deserve it still.”
She cocked her head and stepped near enough he had to look down at her.
“That pedestal you set me on is your own making, I didn’t ask for it,” she sighed unfolding her arms.
“Molly…” he felt his mouth go dry both in his mind and outside it.
Her eyes hooded as she looked down at his lips, shifting her form dangerously close “It makes me untouchable, right? Safe?”
“Safe,’’ he repeated out loud like a command and she vanished
But there were other words, he reminded himself.
He tossed crumpled old ones away and pulled the rest of the white unblemished pages into an uneven stack in his hands.
Bold on the page the phrase he sought.
I don’t know if I love you. This is something... sure, but I don’t know anymore what to call this feeling.
He read the words, running his fingers along lines on the paper. He wanted relief in them. But found only ache.
“Something... it’s something for sure,"
She repeated it again, sitting on her side of the bed propped against her headboard.
He only glanced at her, throwing that paper in the pile and bringing a new one to block the view of her, reading the words out loud.
“There is ... no... us.”
The words tripped on his tongue, spilling out slow.
It all added up to a loss. He found the final straws, and he is desperate. Did he lose something deeper than he expected? That he pushed so hard she lost all hope.
“There’s the loathing again… but maybe I’ll allow it," she laughed as she disappeared again.
His frustration turned in on him and he lashed out in his mind, grabbing the edge of the duvet and tugged it violently off. Papers and words fluttering in the air falling like leaves as he flopped onto the bed in weariness in spirit.
“It’s not that I didn’t love you, it’s that I loved you at the wrong time,” she whispered in his ear as he fell drowning in sheets wrapping around him despairingly.
And when he woke in his chair to a dark room, and stiff neck, he ignored the ache in his chest and salt crusted at the edges of his eyes.
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I'm not good at thinking prompts, so here's your first sentence: "What do you want me to say!?" hehe Thank you!
As later requested by message, this has an argument, angst, and (sort of) confession! And since it’s kind of hard to be super clear with only 5 sentences, I’ll just explain up front that this is supposed to be set post TLD. ❤️
“What do you want me to say?!” Sherlock asked desperately.
Molly laughing humorlessly on his couch, clutched the throw blanket around her bare chest in the early morning light. “That it meant something! I mean, my God, if I’ve just spent the night with a newly recovering drug addict who can barely forgive himself for even being alive, at the very least I’d like to think that I wasn’t the only idiot who felt something!”
“I can’t say any of the things you want me to!” he growled, raking fingers through his hair in frustration.
Molly gaped in horror, but before she could say anything else, he sighed and crossing the room to join her on the couch again and cradle her face as if he were holding on for dear life.
“I can’t because what this meant and what I felt,” he explained carefully while watching the tears pool in her sweet brown eyes, “are words I am simply…not ready to speak.”
#sherlolly#mollock#wifey answers things#wifey writes on tumblr#six sentence sunday fest#apologies for the angst#post tld
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The Fics I’ve Written
(I borrowed a bit of @inevitably-johnlocked’s tagging system for this- I hope you don’t mind, Steph!)
༺═──────────────═༻
Note: The list goes from oldest to newest, so my older fics aren’t great and aren’t Johnlock. There will be a clear divide in when they become Johnlock again.
Not Johnlock/Read at Own Risk
Prior Engagements
(M, 2,084 w., 1 Ch. || Canon Divergence, Angst, Semi-Canonical Character Death, Warstan-ish)
Summary: What if Sherlock had never died? What if he never jumped off of the roof of St. Barts Hospital and instead successfully defeated Moriarty? What effect would it have on John and Mary?
He Fell
(M, 1,427 w., 1 Ch. || Post-Reichenbach, Angst, Sherlolly, Pining Molly Hooper, Bathing/Washing, POV Molly Hooper)
Summary: The aftermath of Reichenbach from Molly’s perspective.
Poison
(E, 5,933 w., 6 Ch., WIP || Graphic Depictions of Violence, Slight Non-Con, Canon Divergence, Angst, No Reichenbach, Abusive Tendencies, Blackmail, Sheriarty, Angst with an Unhappy Ending)
Summary: Sherlock is kidnapped by Moriarty, and must face a tireless onslaught of abuse as he attempts to break free. (WIP/Sort of abandoned.)
Not Until It’s Gone
(M, 4,109 w., 5 Ch., WIP || Fluff, Warnings Don’t Apply Because It’s Abandoned, Straight John Watson, Sheriarty)
Summary: Sherlock Holmes and Jim Moriarty have what one might call a complicated relationship. Chips, bombs, and poolside chats are their ideas of 'romantic'. They're basically each other's addiction. Unfortunately, addictions are almost always bad for you... (Abandoned.)
Johnlock/Better Written
A Bug in Baker Street
(T, 1,525 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Poor Mycroft, Naughty Misunderstandings, IKEA Furniture, Mycroft’s Meddling is Detrimental as Usual)
Summary: Mycroft bugged Baker Street. Sherlock and John are there alone…Well, what did he expect?
The Wedding
(T, 2,474 w., 1 Ch. || Canon Divergence, Angst, Drug Abuse, Ambiguous Ending, Minor Warstan, Sherlock-Focused, Mrs. Hudson Cares a Lot)
Summary: Sherlock Holmes can't bear to see John get married. Unfortunately, he's powerless to stop it.
The Fall
(M, 2,214 w., 2 Ch. || Angst, Deathfic, Pining John Watson, Requited Love, Happy Ending Because I Was Threatened, Canon Divergence)
Summary: John is finally ready to go meet Sherlock. (Edit- Now has a second chapter because my friends hated me for the original ending.)
Three Acts
(M, 5,799 w., 5 Ch. || Canon Divergence, Angst, Minor Warstan, Series Three Fix-It, Post-Reichenbach, POV Sherlock Holmes, Canonical Character Death, No Rosie)
Summary: Mary is not who she seems. (Series three fix-it/Alternate ending)
The Blue Scarf
(M, 734 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Ambiguous Ending, Mourning John Watson, Post-Reichenbach, Character Death)
Summary: John Watson, immediately post-Reichenbach.
I’m Right Here
(T, 3,027 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, John Watson/OFC, Humour, Sherlock is Bad at Feelings, John Goes on Dates)
Summary: So, John keeps going on dates, even though Sherlock is. Right. Here. What’s he doing wrong? And why does John always end up back at Baker Street?
My Heart Beats For You
(M, 1,212 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Unrequited Love, Unhappy Ending, One-Sided Johnlock, Canon Divergence, TLD Rewrite, Hanahaki Disease, Major Character Death)
Summary: Things go very, very badly when John makes a horrible mistake. (The Lying Detective canon divergence.)
Illusion of Choice
(T, 1,553 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Canonical Character Death, Canon Divergence, Unhappy Ending, Deathfic, Unrequited Johnlock)
Summary: Yet another Canon Divergence from Reichenbach. This time, Sherlock does something very, very unexpected.
Miscellaneous/Current Projects
Just a Magic Trick
(M, 1,004 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, TRF Rewrite, One-Sided Sheriarty, POV Jim Moriarty)
Summary: Jim Moriarty didn’t really mean for Sherlock to die. He didn’t want this. Any of this. But it’s too late, now. Can’t he just understand that it was a game? It was just a game.
Dinner, Mr. Holmes?
(M, 21,275 w., 6/11 Ch., WIP || Angst, Canon Divergence, Hannibal Fusion, Happy Ending, Slowburn Johnlock, Cannibalism)
Summary: Sherlock races to solve a string of violent, targeted, and cannibalistic murders before his loved ones are next. It’s a good thing Dr. Hannibal Lecter is there to help him solve the case. Right? (WIP.)
S. Moran Interview Transcripts
(M, 1,675 w., 2 Ch. || Angst, Implied MorMor, POV Sebastian Moran, Post-Reichenbach, Canon Compliant, Mycroft Makes Mistakes, Audio Transcript Format)
Summary: Error. The recording of [redacted] you are looking for does not exist.
One Word
(T, 1,423 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Sherlock Does It All For John, Ambiguous Ending, Canon Divergence, TRF Rewrite, POV Jim Moriarty, Implied/Referenced Suicide)
Summary: What if one word was all it took to change the canon course of The Reichenbach Fall forever?
#jalexandria#writing#writing angst to make people suffer#sherlock#sherlock holmes#bbc#john watson#johnlock#bbc sherlock#johnlock fic recs#my fics#signal boost#I mean really#I’m desperate#i hope I did this right#Reichenbach
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hi do you have any fic recommendations 🧍🏼♀️
🧍🏻♀️ yeah
retrace by discordantwords (M, 7.5k) - post TLD, pre TFP. after john’s shot with a dart by euros, him and sherlock deal with the aftermath of the discovery of not only euros, but the personas she played to them both. extremely realistic and they kith at the end
the end of the conversation by toyhto (E, 10.6k) - the lightest of BDSM elements. alternate reunion after the fall. sherlock is very similar to his s1/s2 self, and they’re both just so compelled to each other in a magnetic, desperate way. pretty dark but the ending is resolved and hopeful
the thin line by odamaki (M, 10.8k) - ao3 says i’ve read this 21 times. it’s a fandom classic. the boys are forced to pack into a wardrobe to hide and john’s “friend” pops up to say hello. it’s absolutely hilarious and the sex is extremely awkward, which makes it even more realistic skfkkekfk
treading water by discordantwords (T, 21.7k) - post S4 casefic set in the london aquarium. sherlock comes to terms both with the location of mary’s death (and by proxy, his almost death), as well as the growing knowledge that john and rosie can’t stay in 221B forever. love love love
whisper to me by chrysanthemumsies (T, 20.5k) - shameless self plug. post S4 and lighthearted (with angst if you squint), sherlock and john find ways to communicate through music when sherlock picks up playing the guitar. dude this is SOFT i’m so sorry
#sorry i genuinely can’t think of any more atm#i’ve been mostly reading destiel and gomens especially#can you tell post s4 specifically by discordantwords is my favorite lol#also i have pretty pretentious taste in terms of characterization so#all of these are fairly in-character (depending on context since they both change throughout the series)#and very well written#exceptforminesjkfkekfkdkkddk#anonymous#fic recs
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Hiiiiiii!!!!!
I hope that you are doing mighty well! 😊
Stopping by to ask for any lonnnnggg.... Slow burns. You know, where it's chapter 10 or 15 and they are barely holding hands or brushing hair outta ones face.
Preferably one where John is the assertive one and Sherlock is the shy one. It would be toast if you have anything where Sherlock tries hard to fit in and to be loved but is so awkward no one likes him. To John though, he is perfect and loveable. So then John tries hard to treat him right and show him what it's like to have someone truly love him. 😊
Thanks a million!!!! You truly are a gem! 🌻 Take care and be well always. 💚
Hi Lovely!!!
AHHHHHHH Let me direct you to my Slow Burn Fics Masterlist, but I've a few new SUPER slow burn fics to make a list for you. Check these out! Feel free to add your own, friends!
BURN SO SLOW IT HURTS Pt. 2
See also: Burn So Slow it Hurts
How To Unfold a Heart by elwinglyre (E, 25,477 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It, BAMF John, Mentioned Eurus, POV First Person Sherlock, Case Fic, Fluff, Slow Burn Topping from the Bottom, 3 Yr Old Rosie, Introspection, Sexual Fantasies, John Worship, Ogling, Hand Holding, Kidnapping, Domesticity, Sherlock Whump, First Kiss/Time, Doctor John, Caring John, Soft Sherlock, Sensuality, Touching, Crying, Love Confessions, Anxious Sherlock, Rimming, Toplock, Fingering, Bossy Bottom John) – To Sherlock’s dismay, John’s return to Baker Street with Rosie is only temporary. Sherlock’s daily visits to Regent Park with John and Rosie illuminate his lost childhood memories and missed opportunities. But with each trip to the park, Sherlock also feels a growing sense of hope. That is until the past horrors return unexpectedly in a cryptic note folded in the shape of a heart. To decipher the message, Sherlock must uncover the nature of the hearts around him, including his own.
The Hollow Woman by ScopesMonkey (M, 51,335 w., 22 Ch. || Post-TRF, Major Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Friendship, Family, Angst, Crime, Reunion, First Kiss / Time, Nightmares, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Jealous John, BAMF John, Angry John, Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Villain Mary, Open Ending) – Forced to return to London sooner than expected, Sherlock falls into a case too close to home. Part 1 of the Hollowverse series
Swallow the Night by ArwaMachine (E, 87,873 w., 15 Ch. || TSo3/Stag Night Fix It, TAB/S4 Divergence, Toplock, Mutual Pining, PWP, Drunk / Public Sex, Anal Fingering/Sex, Alcohol-Induced Amnesia, Everyone Knows Except Them, Emotional Love Confession, Demisexual Sherlock, Internalized Homophobia [John], Parentlock with Rosie, First Kiss, Drug Relapse, Infidelity, Texting, Masturbation, Oblivious John, Emotional Love Making, Angst with Happy Ending, Dreams and Nightmares) – “Do you know how long,” John panted, his cheek scraping against the wall, looking back at Sherlock through half-closed eyes, “I’ve wanted this?” Sherlock pressed himself against John’s back, biting at John’s ear. “Not nearly as long as I have,” he whispered.
Bakers with Benefits by Raina_at (E, 88,130 w., 14 Ch. || Great British Bake Off AU || Strangers to Lovers, Switchlock, Friends with Benefits, Mentions of Alcoholism / Past Drug Use, Banter, Flirting, Fluff, Light Angst, Semi-Public Sex, Past Sherlock/Victor, Mutual Pining, POV Sherlock, Obsessive Sherlock, John’s Bum) – Sherlock Holmes has a successful YouTube baking channel, but what he really wants is his own bakery. When an old friend sends him a call for the very first Great British Bake Off, he seizes the opportunity to finally win a sponsor for his bakery. Here's the plan: Win Bake Off, get the bakery, don't fall in love with the handsome Army doctor at the neighbouring station. Easy.
Drawn to Stars by Silvergirl (E, 109,272 w., 60 Ch. || S4 Compliant to TLD / TFP Doesn’t Exist, Sherlock’s Italian Adventure, Sherlock/OC and Johnlock, Jealous John, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, First Kiss/Time, Idiots in Love, 3 Part Story, Slow Burn, Inexperienced Sherlock, Bottom Sherlock, Introspection, Alternating First and Third Person POV, Separation and Reconciliation, Emotional Love Making, Love Confessions via Letters, Angst with Happy Ending) – After the Culverton Smith case Sherlock is clean, working, and looking for a romantic partner—since John has told him that’s what he needs. Shame John didn’t mention he was interested in that role himself, before Sherlock went off to Rome with a gorgeous Italian copper to try to fall in love and become a complete human being. Part 1 of the Drawn to Stars series
Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.
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I'm going to share my current thoughts here, so this will be a long post.
Almost a year ago I hopped back to Sherlock (and Johnlock) fandom by rewatching the BBC series. Only the first three season though. The main reason, that I tell to people when they ask why (they usually don't but I tell them anyway lol) is that I don't want the show to end again and when I'll rewatch s4, it'll be like a finish line for me.
So, instead of watching s4 I started to watch Sherlock again with my little sister. This time we made it only to the end of s2 and to be honest, I'm not very keen of the idea to watch s3. Or s4. Mainly because the "it'll be over then" thing, but also because of the general feeling of the s3 and s4.
Of course, s3 is not that bad, there are a lot of Johnlock moments too, but with the introduction of Mary it feels like an end of an era. Don't get me wrong, I kinda like Mary, her character is definitely complex in my opinion and I'm an angst whore and Mary brings a lot of angst with her to the show.
And yet, s3 feels kinda off (s4 feels much more off, but I'll get to that). Mainly the whole thing when John returns to Mary after she shot Sherlock. I know there are many theories that say that he had to, because she was dangerous and so on, but when I watched it for the first time, it left me... confused. Mainly because it never felt like John liked Mary more than he likes Sherlock. Hell, the whole TSOT is about the two of them solving cases and Sherlock's love letter best man speech to John. What also left me confused was the way that John let himself to be bossed around by Mary. I especially talk about the conversation.
"I'm taking Mary home."
*some kind of dialogue idk what Mary says here*
"Mary's taking me home."
Yes, it's supposed to be joke. Or I presume that it was supposed to be a joke. But it just felt off. It still feels off.
But overall, s3 is fine. It's not my favourite, but it's fine, I enjoyed it while rewatching the show.
On the other hand - s4. *sigh* well, where to start. Honestly, I don't even remember the plot of T6T. The only thing I remember is Mary's death. So I won't be talking about this episode. What puts me off from watching s4 is TLD. Mainly the scene where John beats Sherlock up. Ahhhhhh, I have to admit, I don't really remember this episode either, but the whole beating up thing is making me feel so unwell and sad and... wrong. It's wrong. I mean, how did we even get to this point? What was the reason, the main impulse that the creators had when they had written and approved that scene? Was this the "let's give Watson more of his own personality thing"? Because if so, this is not how you do it in my opinion. Up to that point they handled their relationship well and then BOOM, John starts hitting Sherlock, John is blaming Sherlock for his wife's death (would John blame Mary for Sherlock's death if Sherlock died after she shot him and he revealed the truth to John?)
So yeah. That's why I don't want to rewatch TLD. I'm an angst whore, but beating up your supposed best friend when he's clearly not well is over my limits. But I also get it, John was also unwell, he saw things differently from his point of view etc etc... but this creative decision was still unnecessary and it makes me sick to even think about that scene.
TFP is it's own chapter. When I first saw it I liked it. When I got more into Sherlock, I found out that... I can't even describe what I feel when I think about that episode. It's just blank face-staring into nothing. The soundtrack was beautiful tho. Mary's DVD was creepy. Eurus... was Eurus.
Maybe the show tried to be so clever that it suffered a big blow to its face. Maybe they should've just stick to the books and recreate it so it would fit into the show. Creating the whole plot with a secret sister.... again, I don't know what to say. I'll be just staring at the wall with a blank expression on my face.
Soo yeah. This is what I'm thinking about right now *29th November 2021, 14:20* And I've fallen back to s4 depression thanks to myself.
In general, s4 is making me unhappy (and maybe I should've start and end this post just with this sentence).
Big thank you to anyone who read this post to the end 💗
#sherlock#sherlock bbc#johnlock#bbc sherlock#john watson#sherlock holmes#sherlock fandom#sherlock s4#sherlock s3#long post#random thoughts#i don't know what to do with my life
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discordantwords year in review
This has been a weird year. But it’s been made bearable so far in no small part thanks to all of the wonderful readers and writers and artists out there keeping this fandom alive. I am so grateful for each and every one of you.
These are the fics & ficlets I completed this year.
Fics:
Borrowed Ghosts: (57,216 words, M); post-TLD, angst with a happy ending
In the aftermath of the Culverton Smith case, John spent one painfully stilted afternoon hanging out with Sherlock. He counted the minutes, finished his tea, and left for home without ever clearing the air between them. And once he'd left, he found it very hard to go back.
Forever Turning Corners: (9,872 words, M); post-Reichenbach, casefic (Silver Blaze), angst with a happy ending
Exactly one year and four days after Sherlock Holmes flung himself from the top of Barts Hospital, John Watson buys himself a bottle of good scotch and a train ticket. The train ticket is an impulse, the scotch is not. Written for the Summer 2020 Holmestice exchange.
EXECUTE: (6,097 words, T); post-Reichenbach, angst with a happy-ish ending, Stephen King fusion
"He was working on it," Mrs Hudson says, gesturing to the odd collection of misaligned parts. "He meant to give it to you." John is not so sure about that. Written for the Winter 2020 Holmestice exchange.
Ficlets:
Everything You've Ever Done: Angsty little 221B. John walks away from both Sherlock and Mary during the events of HLV.
Flat: While traveling home from Dartmoor, Sherlock and John find themselves with a flat tyre.
The Interruption: John and Mary's wedding is going perfectly. Then Major James Sholto stands up and objects.
Playing Dead: As Sherlock stands on the ledge at Barts Hospital, preparing to jump, the sniper pulls the trigger.
Wishing you all a happy and healthy new year!
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In For A Pint by MissMilquetoast
Johnlock Love Letters #1604
John is dragged to a pub by Sherlock, Molly and Greg in a scheme to help him get back in the dating game after Mary's death. Post TLD
#JL3#Johnlockloveletters#johnlock#love letter#love declarations#fan fiction#<10k#In For A Pint#MissMilquetoast#friends to lovers#first kiss#POV John watson#light angst#fluff and angst#fluff#love confessions#post tld#tld fix it#s4 fix it
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