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elixrr · 2 days

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He trusts you. Over the course of your friendship, he built an unforgettable bond with you, one that was meant to last forever– and, really, it could've. It should've, he's not gullible, nor is he naive. He hardly trusts anybody, so you're a rare case— perhaps you're his final and lucky case where he can have somebody else sit with them, shoulder to shoulder, and no mask would have to be up. You're his best friend; you're his lover. You're the shoulder he can lean on, sleep on, lay on, cry on, and that's something that he hasn't had for several years.

Towards the start of your friendship, he didn't exactly see you as a friend, you were more of an acquaintance than anything. You were almost set to be treated by him the same way that he'd treat anybody else. He kept you at arms length, he kept his distance for a while.

Yet, you began to close that distance. You began to slither past his arm, growing closer to him. You were willing, and that's absolutely why you both should've been a lifetime bond.

But now you're being rushed to the emergency room— a head injury, something severe. You're unconscious, terribly injured from the fall, but you're lucky to be alive. He's lucky to have you alive, but now he waits. He waits, waits, and waits for his only trust, his only other shoulder, his only love, and he hopes that you can wake up soon.

You eventually and successfully did. You were in a coma for about a week, but you've finally opened your eyes. You're awake— you're alive! By the Archons and Aeons, that's all that matters to him.

“W– Where am I?” You mutter, eyes finally fluttering with consciousness. Typical question, probably always asked. He watches the doctors explain everything to you.

He watches your eyes as they flicker from one person to the next. One doctor, another, the last one— then to him. A smile nearly graces his face, but your eyes are taken back to begin the cycle again. That doctor to the next, then to that one doctor, then on him, and rinse and repeat. You glance at him as he stares at you, and it's as if he was just one extra person in the room, just one other doctor— out of uniform, though. As if you were saved by him, too, under his care, but your glances are as distant as they are for the other doctors.

Your gaze is unrecognizable. His is the same as ever.

“Who are... You guys?” You ask. ‘Who are you?’ is and would've been fine as long as you looked at somebody that wasn't him, but he's not gullible; he's not naive, and that's the thing. He immediately realizes that you don't recognize him.

He says your name without thinking.

“Do you...” He hesitates, but pursues. “Do you remember me?”

“No, sorry? Have we met before?” The words are fluent, so you didn't hesitate—

—so you don't remember him.

“Amnesia?” One of the doctors mutters, and that's when he realizes that it's all over for him.

He doesn't have another shoulder. He doesn't have a best friend. He doesn't have a lover.

He doesn't have you anymore.

He looks at you, and you look at him. Your eyes are finally fixed onto each other, but you're so distant, so far away from him now. You're both in the same room, but an unavoidable and terrifying distance is built between you two.

“What's your name, then?” You still ask.

The distance shortens. Are you still willing?

“You seem... really upset that I can't remember you. Maybe if you tell me your name, I can remember you?”

Are you really still willing?

He says his name.

“That's a nice name. Sorry, I can't remember, but I'll try.”

“You're willing?” He blurts.

“Of course.” You half-smile.

A sad grin grows on his face. He still loves you— he can feel it deep down inside. You don't remember him. You probably don't even remember any of those special memories you two created that had made the both of you the duo you were, but a smile still adorns his face regardless. You're alive.

And you're still willing.

And, because of that, your bond could last a lifetime.

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shaunashipman · 1 day

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what gets me is that date scene was a literally under a minute long which isn’t a whole loft of time exactly of dissect the inner workings of their daddy issues. the minute they had, they used it to its full potential because we had:

- buck and tommy being casually domestic together on their date night in, which while nice, wasn’t like a super fancy thing and shows that this is probably a common occurrence for them. (especially when you see episode 9 and Bobby’s mention of buck going to visit tommy after the shift)

- buck telling tommy about his day, tommy making a joke about the dedicated hospital wing but recognizes that buck is not okay so he ASKS him pointedly how HE is

- buck shares the close relationship he has with bobby and this seems to be the first time they’re delving into that and so of course tommy wants to understand better, hence why he says “your dads alive”, buck replies exactly and tommy gets an understanding buck doesn’t have a great relationship with his father (also I have to add buck sharing how he sees bobby as a father with tommy is a big deal esp considering the buck bobby scene last episode where bobby tells buck tommys good for him soooo)

- tommy then shares his OWN experience after that, bounces off of what buck says to add to the conversation and open up to his boyfriend about his own past so he can get to know him better too. it was a moment where they were both vulnerable (the Gerard mention in particular i 100% believe is to set up an arc with tommy in season 8)

Now at this point there isn’t a whole lot of time left in the scene like maybe 20-25 seconds? they can exactly like I said sit there and examine and analyze their childhoods and their fathers so the tone switches to a more light hearted vibe because it would be weird to end it on a heavy note AND simultaneously it gives us more insight into their relationship

- buck suggestively says the daddy issues line which again, how anyone interpreted that as him wanting to continue a serious discussion is beyond me when again, the scene has hardly any time remaining

- tommy picks up the vibe he’s putting down and tells him he doesn’t have them (he clearly does have daddy issues so again, we know this isn’t about the actual trauma but about sex and what they both like/dislike )

- buck once again responds suggestively with the “you think I do”

- and then tommy with his infamous “God I hope so” - leaving buck giddy and smiling because he got exactly what he wanted

tdlr; We got domestic bucktommy, tommy backstory, both of them being vulnerable with each other, Tommy recognising he was not a good person in the past under Gerard, a set up for a tommy storyline with Gerard in some way for seaosn 8, bucktommy flirting, bucktommy matching each others freak and both very much enjoying it, bucktommy showing they can read each others moods like??? all for his in a scene that was under a minute

that scene was such a masterclass of Show Don't Tell. they had 55 seconds to get across how they're doing and where they are in the relationship and they did it. we can see that they're comfortable with each other; that they're okay with opening up about vulnerable topics but haven't had in-depth conversations on some, like buck and his parents; we can even see some of how they communicate, with tommy relating to buck's admission with similar thoughts of his own father and father-figure (something we've seen tommy do before, and is a lovely subtle showing of his personality); and then we get confirmation that yes, these two have fucked already, and are clearly compatible in that department too.

plus another sprinkle of foreshadowing with gerrard.

in 55 seconds.

that is called economy of time/space/whatever the rule is i can't remember rn. the show doesn't always get it, but when they do it is golden

#cleo gets mail #anonymous #911 #bucktommy #''we barely got anything about their relationship''#we got plenty if you bothered to look #instead of expecting the information spoon fed to you

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happypotato48 · 2 days

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Wandee Goodday EP 5 Unhinged Tangant Thoughts

Finally it's brainrot saturgay. we're back with a dumb homo, himbo bisexual, the cutest domestic hubbies in existence, tired acesexual eyebrows, and dr. 666 himself (i still can fix him!)

Well well well if it isn't the look of a dumb whore who is in too deep with this fake relationship. Dee i know you already imagine a nice big house with 2.5 kids, 2 dogs and 1 cat future with this man... oh wait that's me nvm then.

i bet Yak also remembers how many HJs, BJs, and all the other Js he received.

Oh hi baby i've missed you so much. now save these morons from themselves with the power of poorly made sextumes.

You took too long, now your candy's gone, that's what happened!

He's so happy how well his sextumes are received. Ahhhhhhh! he so cute! i can't, i RAK him so much, this eyebrows is my everything.

ตาคิ้วหนาาาา!!

I will be joining @lurkingshan in the recovery ward of saint framboise, hospital for the gays and the gals. and i'm expect many more will be joining us soon. for this scene is a mass casualty incident.

Why are you both still has thoes things on your heads. my first instinct in this kind of situation is probably to get rid of the very noticible kinky headband on my head. forking amatures.

Kawaii Dick!! i name him dick-kun.

Karma sure is a funny bitch. her comedic timing is impeccable.

God bless this mess.

Ok this show finally made me cave in and bought that tacky elapant pants that i used to associated with foreign tourists. turn out they are very comfy. man, i shouldn't let white people dictated my fashion sense. live and learn i guess.

Speaking of fashion sense. this look is definitely not working for you Yak.

Can you blame him! i too would be this cray if i have someone as hot as Yei as my bf.

My money is on a loan shark. i will forgive you for this one lie, Oye.

I have to remind myself sometime that i was not like other kids. cause i definitely would be bored out of my mind with this kind of stuff as a kid.

Two dick jokes in a row. NICE!

I can still fix him! no really i can i just need the right tools.

I love that even though i saw these two fucked each other nasty before. the anticipation of them kissing is still very much present.

This is a nice intermediate ep, not a lot happened but we get to spent more time with Yak and Dee growing their 100% not fake Boyfriendship. they had both met each others close families, very involved in each other lives. and emotionally supported each other. they're good together and they started to realized that. the many looks of Dee "oh shit" is already gave me all the angsts. and from the preview shit totally gonna hits the fan next ep and i can't wait for someone (hopefully Ai Phi Ter) to get punch.

#wandee goodday #thai bl #bl drama #dumb boy unhinged thoughts

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sugar-omi · 1 day

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Thought about accidentally sending a nude to Cove (or anyone of your choice) 👀

Like MC was trying to send him a picture of something else but accidentally tapped on a nude they took the night before and WHOOPS! Now Cove is going back and forth with himself between typing up a reply and deleting what he wrote and just screaming into his pillow because he just saw his best friend/crush naked and it’s still on his phone screen and he has to see them tomorrow because they always do but he doesn’t know if it’ll be better to see each other tomorrow or wait a bit until things are “less awkward” and he is BURSTING at the seams

Bonus if he feels guilty because he saves the photo anyways for………….. research purposes 👀

MY EYES ARE WIDE OPEN. I DIDNT EXPECT IT TO GO THAT WAY....

that's such a good thought, though... especially if while he's fumbling, you're freaking out, but also way too curious to know what he'll say so you don't delete it...

and in a moment of bravery, text him before he can say anything to your apology or about the image.. "although.. you can keep it if you like"

his eyes FALL out his head. what do you mean he can keep the image?!?;!^!

he probably doesn't even respond. and if he does, it's just a "it's okay" because he's too shaken to say anything else. doesn't know what to say. "you look pretty", "you're so sexy", "thanks for the nude"????

which.. is probably worse than any of those options if you're already nervous n floundering over te accident.

if you want a bit more satisfaction, are genuinely worried you made him uncomfortable, or just reassurance for what you already know... go ahead and ask if he's uncomfortable, or mad at you, or whatever.

it takes a minute but eventually you get a "...no, im not upset.. or uncomfortable..."

please move on after that because if you linger on the topic anymore, he'll be on life support 🙏

and he does hold onto that image... can't bring himself to download it, that's too much for his poor heart. and even though it'd only be proper to delete the message.. he doesn’t. he tries, his finger hovering over the button.

even though you said he could... keep it. he shouldn't, right? no matter how long he sits in turmoil, his respect for you and his teenage hormones raging against each other...

eventually one wins, because he's been so restless all day. his stomach twisting with something foreign. his eyes wandered to your body when he saw you at the beach that day, and he remembered the picture, trying to ignore how his sex throbbed and the subsequent tightening of his shorts...

really, he has more control than this usually. his voice of reason, more like selfconsciousness, too strong.

but his fingers flicker across his phone, and they find the way back to that image, that damn image that's been haunting him. his brain begging him to remember every curve and dip, freckle, and scar on your body.

he knows what your body looks like, you grew up together. he knows where most of your beauty marks are, your freckles, your scars, knows if your skin is seamless, and he's sleepily traced any acne scars on your biceps.

he knows the shape of you, the leanness and the cords of muscle in your arms and thighs. recognizes you just by looking at your back.

so it's not hard for him to imagine your nude body after that, especially since he couldn't tear his eyes away from the screen fast enough when you sent it.

and even now, he's finding any of those hidden treasures right now as his eyes rake over your body, his hand wrapping around his cock as he shamefully imagines you with him. touching him. touching you.

imagines his lips on your hip bones, kissing your body like it's a prayer.

your voice is always so clear in his ears, he can't help but imagine the way you'd call his name... thinks back to all the times you've laughed happily or groaned tiredly, or moaned in pain...

his mind twists the knowledge of you, your lovely voice, and your heavenly touch. imagines you calling his name, gasping at his touch...

finally spills his cum all over his hand, his head collapsing on his pillow, covers his face, sparks of pleasure still running through him...

realizes post nut clarity is fucking real, and he doesn't know how he's gonna be able to look at you tomorrow...

#olba #cove holden #cove holden x reader #smut #cove holden smut #rambles

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buddiebeginz · 1 day

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https://www.tumblr.com/buddiebeginz/752112763763097600

So do we take this as confirmation that it’s not happening since they once again shut it down.

No, for me this is an even bigger confirmation that Buddie is in the plans we just need to be patient. I firmly believe that they wouldn't have even gone down the route with making Buck bi especially not how his bi awakening happened in 704 if there was never any intention of making Buddie happen. It centered very heavily around Eddie.

Some might argue well maybe Tim wanted to make it happen but then changed his mind and or someone behind the scenes stopped it. I think it's likely that the network didn't want both Buck and Eddie coming out in such a short season. They also probably wanted to wait and see how the ratings went after making a major change to a newly acquired show. I also think it's likely that Tim wanted to wait and tell Eddie's story when he had more episodes to do it in. Buck's coming out was told as a relatively simple and happy story. I don't think Eddie's is going to be the same. We're probably going to see Eddie struggle and it's going to be harder for him to accept who he is than it was for Buck. Telling that kind of story properly does need more time.

Also like I talked about in this post, I think Tim wanted to do his artsy Vertigo story with the whole Kim/Shannon thing. So it wasn't just that the network paused it I think Tim had other ideas for this season and he chose to focus on that.

The other thing you need to remember is that if Buddie was really off the table for good they would have lessened the amount of time they had them on screen together and I'm positive more effort would have been put into B/T. This season was already very crunched for time so there was definitely episodes were they didn't need to include Buddie but they did.

Look at ep 707 with the Buddie and Chris scene (when Eddie drops Chris off so he can go on the date with Kim) where Buck compliments Eddie's cologne. Even all the way into episodes 709 and 710 where they had plenty of time to lessen Buddie and add in more B/T if that's the direction they wanted things to go leading into s8. But they didn't.

In fact in 709 we had Buck apparently ditching T*mmy to go talk to Eddie after seeing Kim at the fire station. There was very little of T*mmy even in that episode and the short scene we got between him and Buck T*mmy was being kind of snippy with him. There was also the shot where when Buck got his award the camera pans to Eddie not T*mmy. This had to be a delebrite choice because even the DP Joaquin Sedillo liked a tweet about it.

Then Buddie were together most of 7x10 and were a real family unit. Both in dealing with everything with Chris and also with sitting by Bobby's bedside together. This is incredibly important with it being the season finale because 911 has always used the final episodes of every season as a preview of where things are likely headed.

We did get that date scene with T*mmy in 7x10 but the message there was what it's been all season and that's T*mmy doesn't really get who Buck is. If T*mmy was being set up to be this important person in Buck's life he would have been at the hospital with Buck or at the least had an emotional conversation with him about all he'd been dealing with. Instead we saw Buck trying to be vulnerable and T*mmy turning it into a joke.

I am more sure now than I've ever been that Buddie is a when not an if. We just can't let that other part of fandom get to us or over think if we see things Tim posts on FB or Lou posts with his cameos.

Not sure if you were around in fandom years ago but Taylor stuck around for two seasons and she's gone now. T*mmy will be soon enough too. The best person for Buck is Eddie and the best person for Eddie is Buck. No matter who else they bring into the show they'll never be able to compete with the chemistry and history that Buddie have. Tim and ABC know this and they also know the popularity that Buddie have. They know the amount of attention and praise they'll get when Buddie finally does happen. They're not going to pass that up.

#buddie #911 buddie #911!#buddie s7 #911 7x10 #ask #anon

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tsams-confessions · 1 day

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Alert much text:

It is one thing is, supposedly, that Sun has not had changes in his life that "justify" that his mental and emotional health has been improving. And another thing is that these changes are not enough for you. Let's do a review. Do you really remember when Sun was REALLY BAD to the point of having dangerous intrusive thoughts and even hallucinations? In those days his worst enemy had obtained an object of incalculable power, having the possibility of destroying him and everything he loved with a snap of his fingers if had wanted to. TWO of his brothers had died, one had to restart, and the other was between life and death very far from him. The guilt flooding his mind and soul for killing Bloodmoon was so great that he saw and heard it. Everyone around him except Moon and Earth hated him. Not to mention that shortly after, a crazy man suddenly appeared who represented ANOTHER THREAT to him and his family. All that without mentioning all the damage suffered from the abuse of Old Moon and Eclipse, and I'm sure I've forgotten things but let's leave that as the most relevant.

Now… Does everything previously said remain the same?

Of course NOT!!!!!!!! Sun has his family back, and even his family grew with the integration of Earth, Solar, and i dare include Jack. He has also been able to make more friends than before, like Foxy, Puppet, Solar, he has even gotten to interact more with Freddy than did before. All this translates into a very important support net. With the return of Lunar, both he and Earth help Sun in Daycare, which gives him more time for himself, to play and relax, spend time with his cats or simply watching a television series with a friend. TIME FOR REST AND HEALTHY RECREATION. It should also be said that his feared enemy, Eclipse, was destroyed, and he played a fundamental role in that, he did not allow Moon to do all the work, Sun also helped, risking his life in the process, he was able to feel useful and important. That at the time was a HUGE weight that was lifted from his shoulders. T

hen, perhaps one of the most important things: HE STARTED RECEIVING THERAPY.

And yes, probably for many what they see in the videos is not an authentic therapy session, but hey, the actors are not psychologists or professional therapists, they are voice actors and gamers, they do what they can with the time and knowledge they have, and what matters is that these sessions fulfill the function of treatment for the character, whether the viewers like it or not. It's even been mentioned that he receives more treatments and goes to more sessions with Earth than we see on screen, they just can't show them all. Another thing, moving away from his workplace, having his own space that only belongs to him and Moon, not a room owned by Fazbear, that must have been LIBERATING. In addition to the feeling of independence and freedom, he also had to make Sun stop thinking a little about his work for the first time in his life, because he no longer literally lived in his work. And as much as it bothers several people that Solar was the one who helped Moon the most before his tragedy, whether they like it or not, it was Sun's conscious decision to take a break from the Daycare-related chaos because SINCE HE WAS CREATED, HAVEN'T HAD A TIME PROLONGED PEACE IN THEIR LIFE. He knew wasn't going to be much help in tracking down Eclipse, any more than Lunar or Earth were, and no one faults them for that. Our strengths and talents will not always be required, the important thing is to take care of ourselves and be ready when we can help; Sun had complete trust in Moon and Solar, and they most of the time informed him of his progress, such as when Eclipse was captured or when Moon told him of his suspicions about Ruin. Of course, it has had its ups and downs, it wouldn't be TSAMS if everything were easy, without a doubt Ruin along with the copies of Bloodmoon and Eclipse were responsible for hindering the process of recovery and progress of the celestial family, especially Sun, but that, The process exists, the progress exists, perhaps it is more subtle than with other characters because on the Sun and Moon channel the emotional conversations almost cause those two dumbs men to vomit.

The point is, Sun has changed, everything around him has changed from when he was in his deepest and darkest moment, and he has been changing and evolving along with his family and his surroundings.

Maybe it's not the change you would like or the one you expected, but don't tell lies claiming that this change for the better happened out of nowhere, because then it seems like you only saw the episode where Sun said that sometimes he wished he were dead and then he just you skipped to the current ones ignoring both their experiences on their own channel and others. Oh, and i almost forgot, with everything said above i have not meant for a moment that Sun is completely cured, because it is evident that his anxiety and low self-esteem problems still exist, they have not disappeared, but he has learned techniques to deal with them, learn to live with their problems, healthier coping methods, and that is already an improvement, not a cure, but certainly an improvement.

#sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsams #sams #tsams confession #< block this if you dont want to see these #mod 1blood

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lady-phasma · 14 hours

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I can't be on tumblr any more today until I watch the next episode of IWTV. Seriously, Armand is one of my favorite characters from the Chronicles and apparently this episode is almost all his. I very rarely let my Anne Rice nerd out on main but I have been a fan for about 28 years.

I became an art historian for many reasons, but Caravaggio was probably one of the biggest, even though I did not specialize in his work. I credit Anne Rice with teaching me about my first Caravaggio: when Lestat first meets Armand, he is reminded of this work.

"...the countenance of a god it seemed, a Cupid out of Caravaggio, seductive yet ethereal, with auburn hair and dark brown eyes." The Vampire Lestat, p. 200

Cropped because Tumblr - full image in link

Love Conquers All, 1601-1602 - Caravaggio

I have seen almost two thirds of Caravaggio's extant paintings at this point in my life. I hope to see all of them one day (excluding one which is privately owned). Unfortunately, this painting is in Berlin and I have not been able to see it yet. There have been many other factors in my life which led me to art history but Caravaggio and George de la Tour are the first I can remember.

Most of my Anne Rice nerdiness will remain on my side blog, but I felt compelled to share since Armand is so prominent this season.

#interview with the vampire #vampire armand #caravaggio #vampire lestat #the vampire lestat #the vampire chronicles #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #amc iwtv #armand #lestat de lioncourt #Lestat #art history #anne rice #personal #interview with the vampire spoilers

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truebluewhocanoe · 2 days

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Dot & Bubble, RTD, and race (a ramble)

Maybe I'm just imagining it but I feel like this episode was VERY much being done in response to/in conversation with RTD's first era, especially Season 1. "Lindy" as a name, and as a character (for some of the run time, at least) feels reminiscent of "Lynda with a y" ("Lindy" is literally "Linda" but with a "y" at the end), they're both from societies inundated with screen media, but are shaped VERY differently by it (I think I'm overdue for a Bad Wolf/Parting of the Ways rewatch to dig more deeply into it). Lindy's dynamic with Ricky felt very Companion&Doctor but we all saw how that went.

Speaking of which, I don't know if Ricky's name is a deliberate echo of Mickey's alternate counterpart Ricky- probably not, but it's interesting nonetheless. As a reminder: the Doctor spent the first season and a half not bothering to remember Mickey's name and repeatedly calling him "Ricky", only to find out that in an alternate universe, Mickey is a badass revolutionary with a gun... who is, in fact, named Ricky. Kind of fucked up for the setting itself to undercut this version of Mickey by reaffirming the Doctor's "joking" mistreatment of Mickey. In fact, Mickey takes Ricky's place when the latter dies- as if they're interchangeable!

Meanwhile in Dot and Bubble, Ricky September is the one character who, despite also being rich & white, manages to break somewhat free of the society of ignorant racists, although it's left up in the air if Ricky had actually seen past that part of Finetime or not- I want to believe he did, but we don't get the chance to find out. But for the brief time we know him, he does get to, briefly, play a Doctor-ish role- until he got fucked over by an ignorant bastard that he was trying to save. Once again, I don't think a Ricky Smith/Ricky September comparison was intentional, and it's kind of hard to work a direct parallel out of those tangles, but it feels like there's something there- maybe someone smarter than me can untangle it.

Ultimately, the most important part of this is... I think most of us have realized, or have been taught, by now that the original RTD era had problems with race. (You can watch this video for a primer- if you have other recommendations, whether they be video, post, whatever, please drop them!) So RTD coming back and writing an episode dealing directly with it, how if you're in a bubble of whiteness then you can miss microaggressions and racism right in front of your face, feels like a step towards fixing that. He can't go back and re-write those episodes, but he gave us Dot and Bubble, which, from what I've seen, has been received very positively for how it pointed out the kind of racism that you can miss even when it flies right in front of your face- maybe even the racism of this very show. Here's hoping the show only gets better and better in this regard.

Although the best way they could achieve that would be to... you know... hire more people of color. Cough cough all of the episodes for Ncuti Gatwa's first season were written by white people cough cough. Kind of undercuts the message of the episode, huh?

#doctor who #dw spoilers #doctor who spoilers #dot and bubble #russell t davies #rtd #rtd2 #rtd2 era #doctor who series 14 #doctor who season 1 2024 #rtd critical sort of #doctor who analysis #full disclosure I am white and this was off the top of my head so if there is something that needs correcting here then please correct me

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aspecpplarebeautiful · 1 day

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im having a crisis and i was just. hoping for some insight!! if this isn't the place to ask feel free to ignore and delete!! thanks

i think i might me aro but i'm not sure. i'm 17 and i haven't felt any romantic atttraction (ever? i can remember ONE time in elementary school but literally.. i barely remember) but oh lord. i want to. i've dated people but not because i was attracted to them and i asked first, but because they asked me and i thought it might work out. i'm not sure if anyone can be... involuntarily aromantic? so i thought i would ask. many thanks.

I'm sorry you're having a difficult time, Anon. If you haven't experienced romantic attraction, or possibly did once, but a long time ago, it is possibly you may be aro. Sometimes people do start experiencing romantic attraction in their late teens or very early 20's, but the older you get the more likely it is you're on the aro spectrum.

If by involuntarily aromantic, you mean people who really don't want to be aro, but who's experiences can be described as being on the aromantic spectrum, than yes, that does happen. Some people do have a hard time accepting themselves, especially since we live in a society that pushes the message that romance and romantic love are incredibly important and fulfilling (sometimes the most important and fulfilling) experience someone can have.

That said self acceptance is possible, the first step is rejecting that messaging. It helps that it's not true, while romance and romantic love are an experience that some people find important and fulfilling, it's far from the only one, and it's not one that's been important to everyone. Similar to things like religion, having children, having a passion (for example creating art, helping animals, etc), etc. There are things in life that give people feelings of meaning and fulfillment, but what those things aren't always the same for everyone. Even alloromantic people (that is people who are not aromantic), often find it helpful not to look at romance as the be all and end all since that's just not how it is for everyone, and also it creates a lot of pressure that can lead to unhealthy relationship balances. Romance is a thing some people enjoy and get a lot out of, but it's not the only thing.

The other part is learning to see aromanticism not as something that's about limiting yourself, but instead about giving yourself the freedom to do what's right for you. Aromantic describes how you feel internally, but it doesn't mean you can't do what you want if it's what you actually want and enjoy. For example, if you want to date people romantically, you can still do that. You mentioned you've already tried dating a few times, if you've enjoyed that experience or found those relationships fulfilling, you can keep dating.

On the other side of things, if you didn't enjoy dating, aromantic as a label is there to tell you it's OK to not enjoy dating. There are other types of life partners (Queerplatonic Relationships for example) if having a life partner is important to you. Or maybe you want to focus on other kinds of relationships (it's a myth that only romantic relationships are deep or meaningful, or that nobody values platonic relationships). Or maybe there's something else entirely that's important to you that you'd rather focus your energy on. Sometimes I look at being romance avese (so not just aromantic, but averse to romance on top of it) like not liking chocolate. Some people treat chocolate like it's the best food in the world, better than sex, etc. Some people just don't like the taste, and no matter how much they try and foce themselves to eat it, they'll probably never have that same experience as the people who love it. But there probably is other food they enjoy or other things that give them joy. It's OK to just not like chocolate or to find it just OK.

So even if you're just questioning, and even if you do start experiencing romantic attraction eventually, I would recommend trying to learn these lessons. And trying to see aromanticism as more of a neutral outcome rather than something to be afraid of. Remember too that no matter what you can do what you want, and if you do enjoy romantic relationships, and want to keep doing romantic things you can. If you don't enjoy romance, you will find things and relationships that do matter to you.

Seeking out media with aromantic characters (you can google book and podcast recs for a decent selection), or seeking out aromantic blogs, spaces, etc. can also help you see aromanticism in a more neutral and less scary light as well.

And of course if you have more questions, or want to talk more, this ask box is always open.

All the best, and good luck!

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another-lost-mc · 2 days

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thoughts on obey me as an actual game? anything u wan a change if given the chance?

it honestly makes me mad everytime i think about the obvious lack of effort for world building but specifically for the nobility plotline... sooooo underutilized it's upsetting. like i've read isekai manhwas with better use/grasp of the nobility and political climate... also (can't remember if it's from swd or nb) the fact that lucifer and the brothers' are basically living off an allowance/salary set for them by diavolo is just... ugh. they couldn't have given them actual positions with titles ??? they couldn't have brought their title as princes/lords of the underworld into play ??? like i get they did it for the game, for shits and giggles and idk maybe it's just me lawl

sorry for ranting lmao i've sent asks a couple times and i quite like your insights and takes on things. was wondering if you'd have anything to say 🫡

I love talking about this stuff! I know it's a dating game and the lore/world building is basically an afterthought because the game's focus is on MC's relationships with the characters now, and not necessarily on the world/characters before MC existed or became involved.

I've mentioned before that the world feels really empty to me at times because they don't really talk about characters that exist (in a meaningful way) unless they're the established dateables (or soon-to-be dateables) for MC. Many of them are nameless demons/angels (the demon lords, the owner of The Fall that's been mentioned more than once by his title but not name), generic sorcerers and angels we know exist in the other realms. (For some reason, Uriel has been name-dropped twice with very little info besides that.)

Part of my motivation for developing the angel/demon OCs is to give more context and depth to the world that MC interacts with, even if they don't necessarily interact with MC in their own day to day lives. There are countless Devildom businesses that keep the realm running – who owns them? Who are the demons that develop their technology and vehicles? Who are the demons that acquire the raw materials used to build these items, or design/build the Devildom's architecture and homes? Who are the professsors at RAD and the other students? They're probably not all demons born from nobility, so where did they come from? What do the parts of hell outside the Devildom metropolis look like? Do they live on other levels? Rings? How easy can you travel between them, or why would you want to (or not want to)? Who are the demons that make up the demon armies and where do they live? Also, how in the world did Solomon end up in pacts with so many powerful demon lords, and now that he's not a power-hungry king, how do those pacts serve him (and the demons he's bound to)?

So yeah, maybe I think about the game world a lot because there's so much potential that goes ignored. I understand that the game isn't meant to be an in-depth look at the Devildom or Celestial Realm outside of what's relevant for character development or plot purposes, but it would be nice to have answers for some of the obvious questions that come up over time. Some of the information we're given in Nightbringer feels incomplete or doesn't match the tone/characterization we were presented with in the OG game either which makes me worry about continuity issues and retconning going forward.

(This got long so the rest is going behind a read-more link. lol)

When I started developing/outlining The Fall, it was meant to be a personal interpretation of the game's lore and my own creative spin on filling in all the gaps. At the heart of it, it's a love story between two angels-turned-demons. But the worlds they live in change over time, and there's a lot of nuance and deeper insights to explain how and why those things happen.

Some of the topics I wanted to explore in this project include:

Rank/power structures in the Celestial Realm. Basically, how do the various ranks of angels interact with each other, and how do they view angels with ranks higher or lower than their own?

Xenophobia. How angels and demons interact and perceive the other races/species. Metatron is an angel that was originally born as a human and ascended to the Celestial Realm after being chosen by Father to do so. Knowing that, how does his former human life impact what other angels think of him, if it does at all? (Spoiler: It does.) There's also significant issues that come up with the arrival of fallen angels, although Meta and Azra falling has very different reactions compared to Lucifer and the others later.

The role of the Seraphim. This story begins before the Celestial War with Lucifer, so he and Michael are still the two primary beacons of power in the Celestial Realm. How often do they agree or disagree on handling disputes, and how do they resolve their differences of opinion? I also wanted to explain the role of other Seraphim – basically, it's not just Michael or Lucifer calling the shots, and the other Seraphim are expected to lend their voices to discussions/debates about serious matters and it's treated almost like a council where majority vote wins if they can't all agree on something.

Side note: I really don't like the idea that Michael (or any of the other Seraphs) are free to do whatever they want without any sort of accountability or repercussions. I think the things Michael might want to do (ex. sneaking into the Devildom in disguise) and what he should do (literally anything but that) are two completely different things, and being emotional/grief-stricken isn't a good excuse for a leader that wants to YOLO his way through his problems when he has an entire realm of citizens he is responsible for. Gabriel is my solution to some of Michael's emotional impulses and rash decision making. He's the angel OC that acts as Michael's voice of reason when he struggles to separate logic and reason from emotions. He keeps Michael in-check when he wants to do things that are too erratic or personal, but he whole-heartedly supports Michael's plans or ideas that benefit the Celestial Realm. I like to imagine Gabriel and Barbatos are similar in that way and have the potential to be good friends as they bond and commiserate over their loyalties to leaders that sometimes act like spoiled children.

Fallen angels in general. There are a lot of fallen angels besides Lucifer and his brothers. Meta and Azra are two angels that go through the process of falling together and I had a lot of ideas about how I think that looks on a physical and spiritual level. There are differences for angels that are cast out by the Seraphim for breaking the rules/putting the Celestial Realm at risk vs. angels that choose to fall vs. angels that are punished by Father for defying him regardless of what the Seraphim choose. Azra and Meta's motivations and reasons for how/why they fall are slightly different, and how that plays out (and the impact on the angels left behind) are different too. They don't have a pre-existing relationship with Diavolo to pave the way for their new lives in the Devildom either, so how do they cope? Who helps them start their new lives, and how do they navigate being strangers in a foreign land while undergoing the physical and emotional changes of becoming demons? Diavolo's father is still the Demon King when they fall and it's only Belial's involvement that keeps things from completely going off the rails after their arrival. The fact that Belial himself is a former angel has its own significance. There isn't a manual or one-size-fits-all approach to this either, and Azra and Meta demonstrate how the Devildom's negligence of their newest citizens can lead to disastrous results sooner or later.

Navigating tension and conflict between the Celestial Realm and Devildom. There is violence that breaks out between the two realms, so how does the Celestial Realm respond to that sort of crisis? Once in the Devildom, there's a glimpse of how the Demon King (Diavolo's father) handles these developments and why the conflict happened at all. (Spoiler alert: Belial is an antagonist in this part of the story for a reason.)

What is Solomon up to? He has all these pacts with powerful demons and he's no stranger to the Devildom, so of course he's going to be interested to meet some new fallen angels – especially one with as much power and common interests as Metatron. Solomon is very human in this story too. He has his own selfish motivations for getting involved, but he also shows genuine care and concern for those he considers friends. He gets involved maybe more than he should, but for good reasons. He's a useful bridge to help the demons understand some of the obvious implications of having ex-angels living in their world. He also manipulates things a bit behind the scenes because of his connection to Barbatos (and therefore Diavolo) but there's no immature feud souring their relationship in this story. (Gonna be honest, I do not think Barbatos's problem with Solomon had anything to do with his place on Solomon's list of demons.)

Lesser demons and the nobility. I wanted to explore the lives of lesser demons versus the lives of noble demons. Where they live, what they do for a living, how they view demons of higher/lower ranks than themselves and other races. Zee's an example of a lesser demon who does whatever he needs to do to earn a living for himself, and Azra doesn't have much clout behind him so they almost meet each other as equals. It's an interesting look at their friendship and the way connections to more powerful demons (like Belial) help them both make better lives for themselves in the central Devildom where they eventually grow their business and social reputations. Meta, despite being a fallen Seraph, has practically no motivation or reputation to speak of and this has its own consequences later. But Zee's not the only lesser demons in this story, and if you thought the nobility in Nightbringer had problems with fallen angels, the lesser demons are far more hostile towards them – they're the ones on the front lines whenever war with the Celestial Realm breaks out, so its understandable they might not be very welcoming. For the demon nobility, the ones that aren't actively criticising fallen angels are mostly indifferent to them, but that's not such a great thing either.

There are other areas I wonder about that I don't explore in The Fall, but I hope to do so for the various OCs and their stories. The Devildom's power hierarchy/use of titles is one of them. The demons of the Ars Goetia all of their own armies at their disposal, and some are dukes while others are kings. That doesn't seem to have any meaning or impact in the game world, but surely there are ways that can affect how the demon nobility interacts with each other? It certainly made a difference to Solomon, I doubt he would've wanted so many pacts if the demons didn't have anything to offer him at the time. The how and why of Solomon's pacts is it's own area of exploration, which I hope to do with Belial and Bathin.

#I have SO MANY THOUGHTS #can you tell that I studied history #I want to know ALL THE THINGS #jes.replies #jes.world building

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