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manicpixiefelix · 3 months

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head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}

Part 13.

Summary: As you promised, you spend the morning with Farleigh as moral support for Oliver's upcoming visit. Perhaps getting reasonably high and discussing your sex life wasn't the best move, all things considered, but it definitely seemed like a good idea at the time.

{ masterpost }

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: suggestive themes, kind of explicit discussions about sex, reader gets high and is high for the second half of the chapter (based on my experiences & understanding of weed)

A/N: 6673 words. OH WE ARE SO BACK. we get to spend more time with farleigh this chapter, i love him so very much omg. also the reader's experiences/behaviour while stoned is definitely reflective of my experience, and everyone experiences these things differently so that's that. also felix being down So Bad for the reader when they're high because of how fucking adorable he thinks they are??? man is In Love. but please, leave a comment letting me know how we're feeling about getting back into it after a break for some AU and oneshot shenanigans! next chapter will be from oliver's POV and im THRILLED about it.

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

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On your first morning back at Saltburn, you wake to the smell of cigarette smoke. Felix is beside you, sitting up against his headboard, cigarette in one hand and book in the other. Groggily you lean over, bumping your forehead to his lowered elbow, and he smiles down at you. In the morning light, Felix is ethereal; at Saltburn, in his element, completely relaxed and at home, he glows.

You'd lost count of how many times you'd woken up next to him, it feels like hundreds, possibly thousands at this point, but something about this, the thousand and first, is different. Is better. Soon enough this dream-space will be broken by the idea of breakfast, and the anticipation of Oliver arriving, but right now you bask in this one, tiny piece of perfect.

Your room.

"My Felix," you mumble mostly to yourself in the morning light. It's more like a sigh, like a dreamy reminder of the Summer to come. Felix goes pink, which you don't even see, eyes closed and wearing a blissful, sleepy expression, half pressed to the pillow by his side.

You'll never be entirely privy to the ongoing thoughts of Felix Catton, no matter how well it may seem that you can read them. But you've always wondered. Sometimes you ask, and you know he wouldn't lie to you, but you always find yourself curious about the things he leaves unsaid. Not now, of course, now you're falling back asleep, but it's moments like this, moments you wonder about how he perceives the vague, offhand possessiveness - or overt possessiveness, if that afternoon you'd spent meticulously marking him said anything - you so frequently display. It's not always intentional. You wonder if he's ever found it off-putting.

It's never been a conversation the two of you have outright had; why not me? Why not only me? It's never had to be asked; beautiful, fanciful people should not be confined. What a shallow answer. Because you are the home I will always come back to, I promise, I promise, I promise. But there's no way to say that out loud. There never has been, even if you've both known it for years.

But none of that plagues you now; the bed and the early morning are both pleasantly warm. The heat from Felix sitting beside you is as comforting and familiar as is the smell of his cigarette amongst the fresh air from the open window. You're drifting back off for what little more sleep you could capture before the day begins, and you don't see the way Felix is watching you in this moment.

There are no eyes on Felix now, no-one to watch, no-one to judge. No-one else who knows how you smile when you sleep next to him.

Breakfast has everyone else in the house buzzing. Venetia's hungry-eyed across the table from Farleigh, her food practically untouched as she demanded as much information from him as possible after complaining about you and Felix being stubbornly tight-lipped. As you hear them gossip, you and Felix share an exasperated look at the edge of the room, you with two plates of food and him with two steaming mugs, before you both head back to the table.

"Y/N, dear," Elspeth cuts over Farleigh's sarcastic remarks about Oliver's fashion choices the minute you settle yourself down. Looking to her with a polite smile, as was custom, she smiles back, "Duncan has put together our Summer event schedule for you, would you still like it to be left in the lilac study?" You nod, quiet and grateful, trying to start on your breakfast before she adds, "as always we've made particular note of the events which your parents have been included as part of the guest list for, so please do just let us know ahead of time whether you plan to be in attendance also -"

"Mum," Felix hissed, to which Elspeth looked rather confused and startled, as if she couldn't understand what she'd done wrong. Pamela, as ginger as you'd ever seen her, and clearly having come back to the house despite not having been here over Christmas, looks to you with that doe-eyed softness that she always seem to have.

"Darling, I didn't know you had parents," she mused with her trademark far-away tone of voice. Her words, however, set off both Farleigh and Venetia, who couldn't help but laugh, and even Felix was grinning behind his mug.

"Of course they have parents, Pamela," Elspeth whispered loudly to her, clearly embarrassed on the woman's behalf, while you just tried to enjoy breakfast, and the absurdity of it all.

"No, I always thought-" Pamela frowned for a minute, looking between Elspeth and Sir James, "aren't they one of yours?" Her gaze turning back upon you, then to Felix next to you, "I recall something about you two being twins, isn't that right?"

"No, dear, that's not -" Elspeth is desperately trying to salvage the conversation despite Venetia all but crying with laughter. Both yourself and Felix, after sharing a vaguely horrified look about the whole situation, try to focus on your breakfasts, even as Elspeth continues, "Pamela please don't say something so crass at the table."

"What's crass about the idea of Y/N and Felix being twins, Auntie Elspeth?" Farleigh asks, wearing a smile that's all teeth as his Aunt freezes momentarily. Venetia's laughing has gone past the point of being audible.

Felix chokes on the coffee he's been trying to hide behind, right as your eggs go down your windpipe and send you into a coughing fit.

"When was Oliver set to arrive again?" Sir James asks like he's absolutely oblivious to the situation that has arisen at his breakfast table, instead lowering his paper to smile brightly at his son.

"Um," Felix takes half a moment to compose himself once more, before levelling a weak smile at his father, "I believe his train gets in at three."

"Wonderful," ever enthusiastic, James nods, "we'll have a car sent out and waiting for him." As if the Cattons have ever made anyone catch a taxi if they didn't have a town car of their own. Forever eager to be the perfect hosts.

"Do you think he even knows what a town car is?" Farleigh asks disdainfully, which sets Elspeth off and cooing about the sorry state of their upcoming guest, while you attempted to swat Farleigh's arm for his comment.

"Hey, no," he leans out of your reach, all but oozing contempt at the reminder of Oliver's impending arrival, "you're my ally in this today, you promised; no being bitchy about my opinions just because I don't want to save a horse, ride a pauper like you do -" even as you snap at him, the eyes of most of the table are on you in an instant.

"Farleigh," you snarled under your breath, feeling yourself growing flustered.

"You're a dreadful fucking pest," Felix frowns at his cousin around you, but Farleigh merely shrugged without even a shred of remorse. Several pairs of newly intrigued eyes are still fixed on you.

"Felix had mentioned that you were fond of Oliver, pet, isn't that right?" Elspeth began tentatively. You kind of wished your chair would spontaneously collapse beneath you, if only to give everyone something else to talk about. Alas, it remained sturdy, and you remained pinned like a butterfly beneath Elspeth and Venetia's gazes, "I never really thought to ask what you thought of the boy, which is foolish of me, he's your friend too, is he not?"

"Clearly," Venetia said, smile surprisingly wolfish.

Oliver's constantly searching eyes shine blue as the sky in your mind. Everything Oliver Quick says, does, and is, seems so deliberate; he's constantly a man with more thoughts than words, so you know that what he chooses to say always has meaning. You love that he's capable of directness that so many others will shy away from, but is able to chatter through small talk if it's to be had. He can read a room and let it affect his approach without feeling the need to change himself; that's why so many of your friends back at Oxford found him so off-putting. It's one of the things you loved about him.

Oliver is Oliver at the club, at the pub, walking to class, in the grocery store listening to you and Felix argue about pasta sauce, in your bed, smiling at you and kissing you and murmuring the kinds of things to you that none's ever taken the time to say, the kinds of things that makes your heart beat hard against your ribs and in your throat in a way that you don't get from people who aren't Felix anymore -

"Uh, yeah, he's a good friend," you shrug and try to seem as nonplussed about the discussion as you're able to, while your eyes are all but burning holes into your plate, "he's really quite lovely, and he's got such a beautiful, unique face; I think you'll be very charmed by him, Elspeth." Beside you, Felix coughs very deliberately to cover a laugh.

Chancing a glance at him, you're both pleased and vaguely mortified to see, not the jealousy you would have seen perhaps a week ago during a discussion like this where he is privy to far too much information about your feelings regarding Oliver. Instead, you see your best friend trying not to laugh at your casual act knowing your casual 'he's a good friend' and 'he's really quite lovely' actual means 'I've been absolutely railed by the young gentleman coming to stay at our house, so yes you could say I adore him'. This is much better than the jealousy. This is one of the many reasons you love having Felix as a best friend. You also desperately wished you weren't at the breakfast table with the entire rest of his family.

Elspeth, however, seems pleased enough by the answer to let you finish your breakfast in peace. Felix does too, but he's wearing this amused little knowing smile the entire time. Okay, if it means Felix isn't being weird and jealous about it, you'll take it.

After breakfast, you allow Farleigh to pull you outside to the picnic table you'd had installed in the middle of your favourite flower garden. He'd asked you to paint his nails, promising to return the favour, claiming to desperately want to spend his last hours of freedom surrounded by beauty while he could.

"You're mad at me," he says bluntly as you're concentrating on painting the nails on his left hand black. Like Freddy Mercury used to, he'd told you.

"No..." you murmured distractedly, trying to wipe carefully at where you'd gotten a bit on his skin.

"You don't have to be here," Farleigh could be heard rolling his eyes, and as you dipped the brush back into the bottle, you paused for a moment, looking up at him in genuine confusion.

"You asked me to spend time with you today," like it's the simplest thing in the world.

"You are aware that you're not actually a robot, right?" It surprises you how genuinely concerned he looks in this moment, leaning forwards, as if proximity would better impart the importance of his words, "you don't have to do just what everyone says; you have free will."

Looking down at the bottle, as if to continue your work and not to hide your expression, you once again tell him that you know. You move onto the next nail, and Farleigh falls silent.

It is beautiful out here. The garden itself that you found yourselves in was actually considered to be yours. It had been a birthday gift from James and Elspeth after hearing some of your idle musings as a late teen. It was an overwhelming offer, one you'd tried to turn down countless times; there were books about the Saltburn Estate as it was, they shouldn't allow you to alter it in any way! But they'd been terribly insistent. Our home is your home. You won't even lie; you started crying on the spot at that.

They'd asked you if you wanted to hire people to get it all taken care of, and while you'd accepted in part, the actual planting and initial maintaining of the garden itself was something you put an entire Summer into.

A circular design with a beautiful vine-covered arch as it's entrance, two thick rows of flowers in various shades of pinks, blues, purples, and whites bordering the outside, with a bubbling stream separating them. Smooth stones lead through the arch to a circular opening of lush, green grass, itself encircled by another small stream. The picnic bench sat at the back of the inner circle, while several small white chairs and benches with ornate tables between them sat either side, still leaving a generous patch of grass that you'd often had picnics on in the years since it's creation.

When you had come back over the following break after the garden had been completed, you see that a single statue had been placed flush against the back of the picnic table, between it and the edge of the stream, fitting perfectly. Far more understated than most of the other statues littering the Saltburn estate, it was of a young woman, her hair tied back and looking even to be quite short if you looked at it the right way, in a surprisingly shapeless toga, arm raised, hand poise to her mouth as if she's about to eat whatever's in her hand. Four large seeds. The figure looks gleeful at the prospect of eating them. The figure kind of almost looks like you. But you've always brushed it off; you're not that vain.

The Cattons have always had loved their mythology.

The family called it the Fairy Ring Garden, and Elspeth especially enjoyed hosting gatherings there.

Now, it was peaceful, just as Farleigh had hoped, smelling sweet even when the flowers weren't all in their full bloom. You cap the bottle, reaching for the top coat.

"They're not going to kick you out," Farleigh breaks the silence as you're shaking up the formula and waiting for his nails to dry. But his words have you stopping dead.

"I never said I thought they would..." you say slowly, while something uncomfortable begins to gnaw at your stomach. Farleigh's expression, while unimpressed at what he knows is a lie, is still full of that concern.

"But you do think it."

Logically, rationally, you know they won't. But you also know that you can't even bring yourself to say it in a way that was believable. Farleigh's looking at you like you're a puzzle he can't even being to solve, a friend with a problem he doesn't know how to talk through. So you ignore the comment altogether.

"I am mad at you," you say instead, looking up at him with a humourless smile.

"About... this?" He frowns.

"About implying that I have the hots for Oliver at the breakfast table, you dick," and you got back to shaking the nail polish as Farleigh laughs in that sharp and familiar way that breaks all the rest of the tension.

"I was not expecting breakfast to be such a shitshow," he wheezes with laughter, his free hand coming to rest on his chest as he kept his hand with it's black nails still on the table for you, "Pamela is a riot, God I love her."

"Where did she get the impression that Fi and I were twins?" You crows with amusement, which just set Farleigh off again, "and Elspeth's horror at the thought - did you see her face?!"

"I'm not even lying to you, I didn't realise she like, actually knew you and Felix were boning until she made that comment to Pamela -" Farleigh grinned with a scandalous little gasp.

"I hardly did either, except yesterday she got all weird about Fi and I officially sharing a room while Oliver was here, and it was clearly because she knew we sleep together; I have no idea how much she knows, or how long she's known, but she definitely knows," you offered with a smirk, while Farleigh ate up the gossip with glee.

As your focus returned to your work on the final layer of polish on his fingers, the conversation died down for several, serene minutes.

"Felix is going to show Oliver to his room when he arrives -" Farleigh's voice was unfortunately once more laced with disdain.

"Can I ask what your genuine problem is with him?"

It's quiet, but there's a distinct, irate hum from across the table after half a minute. Farleigh, when you glance up at him, is frowning down at his fingers, at you painting the final one, carefully cultivating his thoughts.

"There is an inherent unwillingness to engage in the stylistic aspects of, well, everything, despite how he is a constant, lurking watcher of the world, and must still see the value that is placed on it, that I find... off-putting," he says very carefully, and the minutes you've finished his nails, he picks up the base coat from the table and starts shaking it, waiting for you to present your hands for him to return the favour. "He acts like this weak, little mouse, but he's the cat, always watching every fucking thing, judging all of us but pretending like he's not and he's innocent. He's like you, but at least you're upfront about it," it's not a surprise when he finishes your first hand and looks up to gauge your reaction.

It's the second time someone's compared you to Oliver. Somehow you think you like this comparison better. Still, it feels strange to hear. Farleigh only waits for half a second, however, before he starts on the next hand.

"You..." you too carefully pick your next words, "have clearly put some thought into this."

"Adriana is going to hear a lot about Oliver tomorrow in our session; I'm trying to put some of the work in before I get there," he says flatly, though you can't help but genuinely smile.

"Adriana?"

"Therapist; phone session scheduled for tomorrow. Organised it before I knew about yours and Felix's little coup of my Summer, but I'm more than glad for it now."

"You're still going to those sessions? Good for you, man."

"Yeah, mom and Uncle James thought it might help me stick it out at Oxford," he sucks his teeth loudly for a second, "guess they were right." Then, without even looking up, "she still think you need therapy too," he practically sings, and you hum noncommittally. Farleigh's mentioned once or twice that the few times he'd brought you up in his own sessions, his therapist had seemed reasonably concerned about you. You had chosen to ignore it before, and you would continue ignoring it now.

"You brought weed, right?" That was the other thing about the Fairy Circle Garden, it was tradition to get high if it was any combination of the four of you children. Farleigh grins as he finishes off your left hand, both because your obvious attempt to dodge his statement, and because yeah, obviously.

"Let me finish your nails first; did you bring your iPod?"

"Of course."

You'd chosen a pale, gold polish, something almost close to a cream colour, that sparkled in the light, and spent the entire time Farleigh was furiously searching his pockets for his lighter admiring them.

In the afternoon sun, you and Farleigh lay in the grass of the Fairy Circle Garden, sharing a joint and listen to a shuffled mix of Queen songs. Elspeth had put one of their albums on after dinner, which the whole family let themselves enjoy, and it had been on all your minds ever since.

"Can I ask you something?" Farleigh mumbles, holding his hand up to the sky to admire the shiny, black polish adorning his nails.

"My dearest Fars," you grinned widely at him, "you can ask me anything ever in the world; it's me, you know this, but -" you turn faux serious, though only for a second, taking back the almost finished joint, "now you can ask me anything." And you breathe deeply, letting the smoke sit in your lungs, passing the last of it back to Farleigh. He takes his time, however, and your head swirls the longer you let the smoke settle in your lungs.

"I genuinely cannot picture Oliver being any fucking good in bed," he blurts out, and turns to you; unfortunately there's a look in his eyes that's genuine rather than disdainful, "granted," he amends, seemingly actually reasonable about this, "sometimes my mind does replace him with the puppet version of Pinocchio, from the cartoon - I'm actually not trying to be mean here, my brain just does that -" while you're actually rolling on the grass with laughter, both from his apparent situation, but also because the weed has definitely already hit you.

"Farleigh, oh my god -"

"Stop it," he's starting to sound genuinely distressed, "I've had sex with you, I know what you've got going on down there; I can't stop vividly imagining you getting puppet dick!" Your attempts to comfort him aren't particularly successful when you're still cackling even as you try and hug him. At least he accepts it, returns your hug despite sulking at your continued laughter. Then, and you can actually hear him getting over his distressed bit as he adds, "it's wooden, right? And it grows like his nose?"

It takes you a full five minutes to calm down from your laughter once more, but at least this time Farleigh's laughing too.

"Christ, Fars -" you're wiping tears of laughter from your eyes, sitting up, your legs crossed. Farleigh is still stretched out, lounging on his side and propped up on his elbow, "I'm never going to be able to watch Pinocchio again."

"Now you know how I feel," he shrugs, "and that was before I knew you'd -"

"Whatever weird, possible puppet-based euphemism -"

"Oh, you know me so well," he smirked, though the look in his eyes is warm.

"- I'll pass on," a lull comes in the conversation, and you lay yourself back once more. Checking your watch, you're surprised that there's still quite some time before lunch, "why would I lie?" You lower your arm, and prop your hands behind your head. Farleigh makes a confused noise, "about Oliver; do you think I'm lying?"

"My dearest Y/N," he echoes your tone and affection from minutes earlier, before sliding to his more familiar cadence, "you can, will, and have gotten in bed with every person who's caught your fancy. I have watched you transcend sexuality literally all over the globe, and I know from countless personal experiences - thank you by the way - that you rate sex by how good you can make your partner feel," he looks up at you for just a moment where he's laying on his back like he's remembering those countless personal experiences and you do not have the self restraint to not roll onto your side to face him, to watch him. Farleigh both knows what you're doing, while also finally making his point; "I don't think Oliver Quick is good in bed, I think you just made that man find God."

It's quite the compliment, and if it were anyone else, he'd probably be right.

"Fars-" your smile widens bashfully, and he has to close his eyes for a moment, shaking his head.

"Don't say my name like that, you're derailing the conversation," he mumbles, sounding rather bashful.

"Like what?"

"The way you do when you're high," he huffs an embarrassed breath, cracking an eye open to look at you. You hadn't realised that there was any special way that you would say it, but you apologise faintly, shifting yourself to lay at an angle, your head on his chest, facing him. Farleigh closes his eyes again, wearing a faint smile as he runs his fingertips up and down your arm in a soothing, repetitive gesture. Which does nothing but feel like teasing in your current state.

"Why do you care so much about Oliver's dick-game?" You try and focus. It catches Farleigh off guard, judging by his bark of laughter.

"As you have so thoroughly pointed out at least twice by now, the man has a limited number of features that would be arguably hot on someone with a better personality -"

"Oh, right," you nodded, "your repressed crush on my poor friend who you hate," tone flat, you brace for whatever response you know you will get, but still yelp when you receive a hard pinch on the arm. "Those are some big words, by the way; Adriana should give you a gold star - ow! Fine!" You pout, doing your best to cross your arms despite not actually moving yourself from Farleigh. It takes a few beats, but you hear the faintest laugh echo in Farleigh's chest, and moments later he returns to idly running his fingers up and down your arm.

The moment settles around you both, and you let your eyes fall closed. This moment of contentment almost mirrors the one from this morning, but your head swirls too much for it to be entirely perfect.

"I'm not lying," you finally say. Farleigh makes a noise of interest. Eyes still closed, you're kind of willing to bet his are too, "you said so yourself; Oliver's like me, he... watches," you wet your lips, hesitating for a moment, "he listens."

"But you listen," Farleigh says like the equation isn't adding up in his mind. God why did you have to talk about this in the first place, now all you can think about is Oliver, Oliver, Oliver -

Harder, he'd actually listened. Hold me here. Listened. This angle. You can bend me like this. Pull. Bite. Move. Fuck.

You had to open your eyes; Farleigh is watching you, half seemingly aroused by whatever picture he has in his head, half still relatively confused. Every sensation in your mind feels tenfold right now, you could have said any number of things to prove your point, but there's one that sticks. Slowly, you sit up, half bracing yourself over Farleigh, hands planted in the grass either side of him as your silhouette blocks the sun from his face.

"Fars," you've already forgotten that there's something about that nickname that always gets him, even soft and serious like this, "Ollie's the first person outside of Felix who's made me cum before they've gotten the chance to finish in my entire memory."

Farleigh, who'd been grinning up at you, gently running his fingertips across your cheek and down your jaw, actually looks a little stunned.

"That can't be right." He mutters faintly. Your answering expression is grim and telling, "oh my god," with the exact tone of someone discovering shocking, world altering news about situations far less trivial, but the apology in his eyes and faint horror in his voice is rather amusing.

"Doomed to the life of a - what did you call me that one time?" You grinned despite yourself, sitting back a little, "a service bottom?"

"Oh my god I definitely did!" Farleigh lights up at the memory, glad too for the breaking of tension once more, and you rather eagerly add.

"So it was nice to be, you know, be listened to, taken care of the way I kind of take care of people?" You try to put it to words, "but I still- uh, I think I was just a regular- um -"

"Oliver Quick; service top," Farleigh muses like it's of great importance, which is enough to make you laugh once more. But your arms are getting tired of holding you up, and your self restraint is worn past the point of no return, so finally you lean down to kiss him. Farleigh grins against your lips, "hey."

"Hi," you murmur, everything about you radiating a syrupy kind of fondness, "I'm not mad at you."

"Clearly," Farleigh chuckles faintly, pulling you back in. The second day of Summer and it feels like freedom already, and of Summers long passed. Getting high and making out in the Fairy Circle Garden is not an unfamiliar experience, and you'd always considered it a good way to pass the time. In your mind, it seems like a great idea at the time to share another joint together; you end up with Farleigh's knee between your thighs by the time you realise that you're almost late for lunch.

"Oh my god, Fars, they're going to kill us," you couldn't contain your laughter as you briskly made your way back to the house.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Farleigh called out from a few feet behind, and you stopped, looking at him with concern for his urgent tone. Instead, he swooped in with a grin to give you one more kiss before passing you, "they're not going to care," he adds.

"They're so going to care!" You hissed, voice a guilty mix of concerned and amused as you stepped into the house. Then, after a moment, "I care if they know!"

"That is not something I can help you with, pet," Farleigh shrugged, "but I think they might care about the grass stains on our clothes." And with that he swans away, radiating a bright confidence that you can't help but be endeared by in this moment, that distracts you, if only for a second, from your nerves.

Back in your room, the nerves set in tenfold when you find Felix to be there as well.

"How's Farleigh coping?" He asks with a pleasant smile.

Be totally cool and stealthy and not high right before Oliver's meant to arrive. You can do this.

"Surprisingly well," you responded cheerfully, raising your hands to show off your nails, "we listened to Queen," maybe a non sequitur, but not an incriminating one, you tell yourself, "and..." frowning for a moment, you pull at the shoulder of your shirt, trying to examine it for the grassy faux par Farleigh had been accusing you of. As you're trying to figure out if you really do need to change, it appears that your mouth takes on a mind of it's own, adding, distractedly, "... grass stains. Fi-" you look to him with sudden intensity, not having realised that in your attempt to see the back of your shirt, you'd tried to turn to get a better look, like a dog chasing it's own tail, "Fi, is there grass on me?"

Felix, taking you by the shoulders to steady you, is giving you a truly bemused look. It's enough for you to already be pulling away from him, stripping off your shirt to look in your drawers.

"I'm going to kill Farleigh," but you can hear his exasperation is highly coloured with amusement. He chuckles faintly, "and you, probably."

"Ooh~" you mused mostly to yourself, "see, I told Farleigh this would happen," you clicked your tongue as you squinted into the drawer for the perfect replacement. Then, very suddenly, you processed all of what Felix had said; "and boo, don't kill me," you pout, pulling out a button down and taking a few moments to check the size on the tag to see if it was yours or Felix's, "I'm capable of a great many things, Felix," you tell him matter-of-factly as you pull the shirt on. Satisfied with your change in wardrobe, you look to see him sitting on the end of the bed, looking thankfully endeared by your antics, "and we're late to lunch, almost," despite how you strode over to him with purpose, standing yourself between his legs, arms draped around his neck, "poor form showing up late, covered in blood, and with a dead friend in the other room;" he can't help himself, he laughs, wrapping his arms around your waist, looking up at you with the most loving exasperation in his eyes. However the sound of his laughter is absolutely what you would consider a victory, "see, don't kill me I'm occasionally funny."

"You're so fucking high." He laughed a little helplessly. Drat. At least he seemed to find it funny, leaning forward to press his face against your chest for a long moment as he let out a faint sigh. Felix is warm, his breath on your skin through the fibres of your shirt, his arms around you, knees pressed against your legs; Summer is sweltering, and if he were anyone else you'd be extracting yourself in an instant, but you want to melt into him in this moment.

"Shh," you stage whispered, petting his head, "don't tell Felix, we've got an important guest arriving today," and he looks up to see the apologetic smile you wear as you run your fingers through his hair. You drop the bit, "it seemed like a good idea at the time, then I..." you hummed for a moment, frowning, "lost track of... it. Time."

Felix's gaze softens as he looks at you, eyes shiny and pupils blown wide, holding him so tenderly. Does he even know that he looks at you like that? Does he know how much it means to you?

"You make it frustratingly difficult to - we have lunch-" he has to firmly remind you, even though he is grinning and endeared by your antics, as you bring one leg up over his, knee settling beside him on the bed. Your smile is only guilty because you know it should be, not because you feel any kind of actual guilt. You bring your knee off the bed, but are now straddling his thigh.

"We have lunch," you parrot back with a nod. But Felix's hands are still on you, still wrapped around you and holding you to him, watching you with this look like he's endeared, like he's almost mesmerised by you in this moment; you, who keeps echoing 'we have lunch' until it starts to lose all meaning, and you kind of forget that you're still just standing in your room with Felix, until you're chanting those three words under your breath like a little song that you're bopping along to. Any real thoughts had absolutely left your head about a minute ago.

Felix is watching you with that look in his eyes like he's never loved anyone more in his life.

"I am so hungry," you finally broke out of your little, strange trace, before lighting up, "oh my god we have lunch!" Suddenly enthused, as if you'd forgotten the entire few minutes that had just passed, you step back. Taking Felix's hands, you pull him to his feet as he laughs sweetly, "come on," tugging him through the halls, he lets you lead him by the hand, "once we finish lunch it means its almost time to see Ollie, and we love Ollie!"

Very suddenly three rooms away from the dining hall, you stop. The pace you'd set was eager, so Felix practically crashes into you without a warning, and has to catch you both on a doorframe. You've got your hands flat on his chest, the airy, pale linen shirt he'd chosen for the warm day, staring at them as he's braced over you. Then, very suddenly, your focused expression breaks into a smile like the sun from behind a cloud, looking up at him with absolute joy.

"We match."

He looks down; your nails, his shirt, almost identical shades, though your nails still sparkle faintly.

"I should have said I was stopping," you added, though neither of you had moved. You were still looking at your hands; "I should say more of the things that I think in my head out loud." Then, after a long few moments, and Felix continuing to indulge you, he hears you mutter, "I can feel your heartbeat in my hands."

You should definitely move and go to lunch and not stand here and be close to Felix for an infinite amount of time even if you know that Felix loves you and would definitely indulge you and would let you stay in this space and this moment and this close to him forever and ever if you asked. None of which you say out loud. Instead, what comes out is -

"I like that we match," and you drag your hands down his chest to take the hem of his shirt between your fingers, momentarily tugging on it as Felix finally stepped back.

"You're an absolute terror," he says fondly, taking your hand.

"Yes, but I'm your terror, fuck-o," you tell him with a childish kind of glee, and Felix was rather glad you couldn't see the way the silly little sentiment had made him melt.

As much as he adored the way you became overwhelmingly talkative, loving, and bold whilst high, he still had to stop you both outside of the dining hall to remind you to tone it down.

"Mum and dad can't know," Felix insisted, and you nodded very seriously.

"Mum and dad can't know," you agreed in a whisper, collecting your composure as best you could. For the record, you did pretty good; you didn't serve yourself an ungodly amount of food despite how hungry you were, you used the correct knives and forks even if it took you about twenty seconds of squinting to identify which would be best, and you made a point to be pretty much monosyllabic in conversation. It was working. For the most part.

"It's such a wonderful day, such a lovely omen," Sir James cheerfully gazed through the large windows in the dining hall, clearly glad for the sun.

"Yes, I forgot how beautiful it is to see you all taking advantage of the grounds on days like today," Elspeth added, "I think I saw you two heading out there," looking up, you see her gesturing to yourself and Farleigh with a polite smile, "how was it?"

"A beautiful place to cope with Oliver's impending arrival," Farleigh says through a humourless smile. Venetia leaned over her plate to leer at you both.

"Fucking in the Fairy Garden again?"

"No," you replied arguably too forcefully, mouth half full of food and gaze focused on your plate, terrified of giving away your state right now. Pamela, across the table, spluttered into her tea.

"Venetia," Elspeth admonished, scandalised. However, as much as you were trying to act normal, considering your relationship with three of the individuals at the table, it didn't register until it was too late that your normal may not be everyone's normal at the table -

"It's the middle of the day, Ven, I have a sense of propriety when the sun can see me," then, clearly losing your grip on self restraint while Venetia grins upon seeing her mother's exasperated face momentarily in her hands, you leaned a touch closer to Farleigh, "oh, and Felix is going to kill you."

"I'll add it to my calendar," Farleigh rolls his eyes with a smirk.

"I'm going to kill you both," Felix himself chimes in blithely.

"See, I told you so," you again leaned in to Farleigh, who just gave you a fond, amused smile in response.

"What?" Comes Elspeth in the lull, unsurprisingly befuddled, "Felix, darling, why are you killing your cousin and Y/N?"

"No reason!" You respond jauntily with a sincere, sweet smile. It seems like Elspeth's trying to decide if she should be concerned or not. After a long moment, she decides to accept that it's a joke.

"Well don't do it where I can see," she sits back primly, "or if you must, I request it not be bloody."

"I'll exsanguinate myself in preparation," Farleigh says flatly without missing a beat. No-one at the table had been expecting anything like that, and the mood breaks, turning as light as the sky outside, with the sound of everyone's laughter.

#felix catton x reader x oliver quick #felix catton x reader #saltburn x reader #saltburn imagine #felix catton imagine #felix catton x y/n #felix catton x you #oliver quick x reader #farleigh start x reader #farleigh start imagine #oliver quick imagine #oliver quick x y/n #oliver quick x you #head heart hand fic #manic writer

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annymation · 3 months

Text

The Kingdom of Wishes- A “Wish” Rewrite

Chapter 14- I Will Protect You

Chapter 13

"I WHAT?!" Aster exclaims, almost falling backwards from the log he was sitting on. His animation becomes more sketchy and unfinished looking.

"Umm "In love", come on, don't tell me this is one of the things you don't know yet" Hal says with a smile and one eyebrow raised.

"I- I know what it means but- Where did THAT come from? hah ha" The star asks nervously, genuinely not understanding what she's talking about.

"I mean... It's pretty obvious" Dahlia comes in and starts listing all the evidence "From the way you two talk to each other, to how you blush whenever she holds your hand, and how she laughs about pretty much everything you say, I could go on all day, point is that the signs are all there." She explains casually.

Aster's eyes widen "THAT'S what being in love is??? No- no way! I can't be in love, that's... A HUMAN THING. Wishing stars don't fall in love... Do we?"Aster asks now looking up to the sky... No answer, the stars are dead silent, but not because they didn't listen, they just don't want to get involved for now.

Hal smiles with confusion in her eyes, seeing the boy just stare to the sky all of the sudden sure feels quite weird, but she just continues saying "We may not know anything about wishing stars, buuut we know our girl Asha, and it's pretty obvious at least she loves you." She says booping Aster's nose cheerfully.

Aster's turn to look at her slowly "... You think Asha loves me?" The star is stunned, as his mind starts racing, realizing what this means "... Oh... Oh this is-"

Bazeema has both hands on her cheeks as she says in a dreamy sigh "The most romantic thing in the wor-"

Aster has both hands on his head as he says in a panicked voice "Terrible!"

(This image doesn’t really have anything to do with this scene other than it taking place in a forest, but I had to include it in this rewrite cause OH MY GOSH DO YOU SEE HOW PRETTY THIS CONCEPT ART IS?!? AAAAAAH)

"Huh?? How's that terrible?!" Hal asks, now almost looking angry at the star.

Aster starts floating in the air, "Walking" back and forth "If Asha is in love with me an-and I'm in love with her then... She's gonna be heartbroken!" The star looks absolutely horrified with this discovery.

Gabo throws his head back and laughs at that before saying "WOOOW look at you, cape! Already dreading the eventual break up before even asking her out?" Gabo sounds almost proud "Maybe my pessimism is finally rubbing off on him" He whispers to Dario.

"NO nonono! The problem is... I can't STAY here!" They explain, sounding more and more distressed "Once we defeat Magnifico and save Rosas, Asha's wish will come true! And then I'll HAVE to go!"

"Well, here's a thought then: Fight the system." Gabo says with a mischievous look, like he's trying to influence the pure star to go to the "dark side" "Rules are made to be broken. What's the worse that could happen if you don't go back to the sky, hum?"

"I would cease to exist." Aster mutters quietly, still pacing around while flying.

"... Oh..." Gabo says in a deadpan manner "So we have a Romeo and Juliet scenario on our hands" The teen says with a hand on his chin.

"Indeed, it's a tale of forbidden love." Bazeema chimes in, both hands in her heart as she sighs like a hopeless romantic.

Gabo looks at her with a bored expression and says "I meant how they both die in the en-"

Dahlia interrupts him "Okay okay let me see if I understand" She pulls Aster down by his cape for him to sit next to her "After her wish is granted you'll have to leave, and you can't come back? Ever?"

"Yup!" The star blurts out, as he begins to speak quickly "So it's best to just deny these feelings and never let Asha find out, so her heart isn't crushed into a million pieces later, right?" He asks them with a forced smile, hoping they all agree.

"... Wrong" Hal says with her arms crossed "Aster, I get where you're coming from, but do you realize that if you don't tell her, and just leave... You two might spend your whole lives regretting not saying anything?" She asks the star with sadness in her eyes, but then she shakes off the feeling and add one last comment with a sassy smile "And I'm guessing the lifetime of a star is preeetty long, ain't it?"

"... You have no idea." Aster says while looking at nothing with a distant expression... For the first time realizing he's gonna outlive Asha by billions of years. The star looks at all the teens worriedly and asks "But if I tell her, then... Won't she feel even more hurt when I have to leave?"

"Most likely, yes." Bazeema confirms quietly, looking at Aster with a kind smile "But I think, if you two won't see each other ever again, then you should enjoy every moment together like it's your last." The star's eyes widen, not because the quiet girl is speaking more than usual but because those words hit him deeply with a realization, Bazeema continues with her quiet voice full of passion "Then maybe, it won't hurt as much when you go back to the sky and she stays down here, because at least you'll both know you had love... And that love will continue, even at a distance..."

Gabo moves slightly away from Bazeema like he's scared of her "Aight' who are you and where's Bazeema? She never spoken more than two lines in her life."

Bazeema realizes for how long she has been talking and that everyone is staring at her, she blushes and covers her cheeks in embarrassment "O-oh goodness, I didn't realize I was rambling, I'm so sorry."

"No, you're right." Aster says while getting up from the log he was sitting on "I'm gonna tell her." The star is back to his cheerful and confident self, as he starts making his way to where Asha went "I may not be able to spend my life with her, but I'll love her in our last few hours together just as much as I'd love her in a life time!"

Most of the teens cheer him on as he leaves, except for Simon who has just been staring this all play out while eating his soup, with a face of someone who regrets all his life choices... Oh and also Gabo stops cheering to give one last comment:

"Sure thing lover boy, but umm remember we can't have you two kissing and saving the kingdom at the same time, and we're gonna start the plan in a few minutes so-"

Aster is already marching through the forest as he shouts back to Gabo with an ever so slightly irritated tone "I'll love her in these next few MINUTES just as much as I'd love her in a life time!"

Gabo looks pleased because he has been trying to mess with the star's seemingly infinite patience the whole day, just for fun.

All the teens now are staring at each other in awkward silence, Dahlia notices and closes her eyes with a sigh

"... *sigh*... Do you guys wanna go and wa-" She hear the sound of footsteps and when she opens her eyes again, all of her friends are gone "Watch?... Heh heh Asha, you really can't get a moment of peace, can you?" She says while getting up with her crutch, to follow them, and watch how this will play out.

We cut to Asha sitting by the river, trying to draw herself while looking at her reflection. By her side there's a black and white, hand drawn candle lantern that actually emits light. There's also some fireflies flying around the proximity of the river.

Aster comes from behind a tree and takes a deep breath (even though he doesn't breathe) and starts flying to where she is.

Asha has her back turned to him, but she can see Aster's light approaching her, so she turns to look over her shoulder with a smile.

"Hey Aster! Great timing, I was just gonna ask you to come here" Asha taps on the floor next to her to signal that she wants Aster to sit with her

"Really? Well uh... Here I am hehe" Aster does so, they float down and sit next to Asha with his legs crossed "Do you need help with anything?"

"I could use some extra light. This lantern I made is great but your hair is waaay better" She says while placing her sketchbook on Aster's leg, so she can better see her drawings thanks to the light coming from his hair. She was gonna start drawing more but instead she gets distracted and talks with Aster excitedly "Also, I gotta say, it's amazing that my pencil can actually create FIRE! This is gonna be so useful when we're breaking in the castle. If any door is locked I can just burn them, or maybe I could create a giant hammer, or or... You know?! Anything!" She smiles widely at the star, not able to contain her joy, thinking about all the possibilities.

Aster looks at her with that same dreamy look he had at the campfire, admiring how she's just so full of life and hope.

"Yeah, I know, I'm glad you liked it" He says with a smile, Aster is now looking at the water, trying to think on what to say... Should he just say "I love you" out of the blue?... That doesn't feel right. So instead he just expresses how he wishes he could be there to... Protect her "I really wish I could go in there with you all, make sure you're safe"

Asha gives him a bittersweet smile as she explains "I know, but we've talked about this: you gotta distract Magnifico here in the forest and break his staff, while we'll get in the castle, fight the queen, and free all the wishes, so you can un-curse them and give them back to everyone."

(That's it, that's their plan! Will it work? whOoOoOOo KoOoWsSs? Oh wait, I know, hehehehe)

Aster looks at her worriedly "Are you suuuure you guys can handle Amaya on your own though?"

Asha chuckles with the question "It'll be eight teens vs one lady with no powers, if anything you should feel sorry for her haha" She laughs a bit, but then her face turns just as worried as Aster's was, as she thinks for a moment and says "But, you'll be on your own... Are you SURE you can fight Magnifico this time?" She asks him looking at him in the eyes.

Now Aster is the one who holds his laughter "Pfft you mean on my own + all the plants and wild life as my army? I'll manage." Aster says confidently, but then he notices the concern in Asha's expression, so he tells her more reassuringly "Hey, I'll be careful. He won't catch me this time, I promise."

Asha smiles as she holds his hand tightly "I know, I trust you."

Aster's freckles start sparkling and his hair shines brighter with that, they hold her hand back.

Asha also seems to be blushing as she holds his hand

The 7 teens are in the background watching everything with an expecting look, just waiting for Aster to make his move.

Aster notices them staring from the corner of his eye, Asha doesn't though.

The two of them break eye contact as Asha looks back to her sketchbook, while Aster looks at the impatient teens with an angry expression that screams "IM GETTING TO IT! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

The two teens take a deep breath and... They speak the same thing at the same time:

"... I wanted to tell you something-"

The two look surprised. Asha giggles a little as she says:

"Heh heh- okay you first-"

"No! no no no please, you go first!" Aster says, because he's honestly not ready to say it yet.

Asha takes a deep breath as she flips the pages of her sketchbook "Okay... This is gonna sound really out of nowhere but umm..." She stops in a page and takes out of the book... A sword "Wanna practice sword fighting with me?" She asks with an awkward smile.

... That's not what Aster nor the teens watching this behind the bushes expected at all...

Aster looks at the hand drawn sword and then back to Asha with a confused smile "... Eh?"

Asha lowers the sword "I know, I know, kinda last minute. But I just had the best idea!" She get's up and starts to explain while walking around with the sword in her hand "Your magic can't hurt me, and my magic can't hurt you, soooo we are perfect dueling partners to practice, don't you think?"

Aster understands now, she wants to be ready to fight the guards in case they are spotted by any... or even the royals.

"I don't remember sword fighting being part of the plan." Aster notes with a cheeky smile.

"It's not, it's just my own idea, call it a plan C" She says while looking at the sword she drew proudly.

"Sooo are you "planning" to make extra plans from A to Z? heheh" Aster jokes, still sitting down next to the river, looking up to her.

"You know, I actually might. Better be safe than sorry." She says, her smile falters a little, with her eyes revealing that she still has some doubts "I just... I gotta be ready for anything they might throw at us. I want to make sure I can protect my friends... Protect you." She tells Aster like she's letting out something that has eating her up inside.

Aster eyes sparkle with those last two words, since that's the same thing he wanted to say.

"... Well then..." Aster begins to talk with his eyes closed, reaching for something behind his back- "En garde!" He quickly creates a sword made of star dust while she wasn't looking.

The sword hits Asha, and just like how it went when Aster tried to use this trick against Magnifico during their fight in the storm, Asha starts laughing, feeling a sense of joy overtake her.

"Hhahahaahha" She laughs, hugging her sides as Aster get's up, standing in a fighting position holding his own sword "Hey! I wasn't ready!"

"Expect the unexpected, now come on! And don't you dare go easy on me!" He says spinning his sword with a confident look.

"Funny, I was gonna say the same thing!" Asha exclaims with a daring smile.

The two of them duel together around the clearing near the river, snickering the whole way through. Asha lands some hits on Aster, slicing his body made of star dust, but he immediately gets back together with every attack.

When Aster's sword hits Asha, all it does is make her chuckle a little, but she's landing a lot more hits than the star.

The 7 teens are watching all of this in the background, both surprised and endeared by the sight, that's definitely not where none of them expected this would go... But it is kinda romantic in a weird way.

"You're actually pretty good at this!" Aster comments as they're now both looking at each other in the eyes, with their swords pressed against one another

"Thanks! you too... But could be better tho." Asha says with a confident smirk "Good thing I'll be the one actually sword fighting hehe" She teases him

The star makes mocking shocked face "*Gaaaasp* Ooooh you did not! Alright, you asked for it!"

Aster summons a bunch of swords around Asha and makes all of them hit her at the same time, creating a huge cloud of star dust around them

Asha can only laugh as she falls on the grass

"Hhahaaahahah hey no fair!" Asha exclaims while laying on the grass

Aster is now floating with his face close to her's "Thought you said I shouldn't go easy on youuu" They smile playfully

Asha pulls him down by the cape and the two roll around the grass like two kids playing fighting, not even realizing that they're hugging. They both laugh the whole way through.

After calming down, they both lay next to each other and look up at the stars.

"So... Feeling more prepared?" Aster asks while still looking up

"Yeah, I think I can take 'em." She says, feeling reassured "*sigh* I just can't wait for all of this to be over." Her voice is full of hope.

Aster's smile slowly dissolves into a frown as he remembers he'll have to leave once it IS all over.

"... Um-hum, me too... Can't wait." They say, trying to hide their inner turmoil

Asha turns to the star with a curious smile "Ok, now's your turn."

Aster looks at her confused "Huh?"

"You said you had something to tell me, didn't you?" Asha asks, laying down on the grass next to the star

"O-Oh right! heh hehe... Umm" Aster quickly realizes he has no idea how to tell her. The star just begins blabbering nonsense without even realizing " Sooo uh I wanted to tell you- I mean- I actually didn't wanna tell you at first- Bu-but I have to t-tell you while we still have time that I... UUUH... I... I think I am- Ya know?"

Aster.exe stops working while Asha just stares at him in amusement, she never seen him acting like this before.

From the bushes where the seven teens are hiding comes Hal's voice shouting:

"Oh come on! JUST KISS THE GIRL ALREADY!"

(Shout out to @wings-of-sapphire who asked for a Kiss The Girl reference)

Aster discretely uses his magic to make several trees instantly grow in front of where the teens are hiding, creating a wall of trees, Asha doesn't notice as she sits up from the ground and looks back.

"What was that?" She looks around confused, but all she sees behind her are trees

"T-the wind, probably! heheh" Aster stammers out nervously.

Asha get's up and starts walking away from Aster "The other's may be calling us, I think we sho-"

"Asha wait!" Aster quickly gets up and grabs her hand, she looks back at him confused, but wanting to listen. Aster can only sigh as he explains frustrated " I just... I just have SO MUCH to tell you, and I don't know how to put it into words"

Asha holds his hand closely as she says "That's... Pretty unlike you. You've always been good at explaining what's on your mind" It sounds like that's something she admires about him.

"Yeah, but this is coming from somewhere else though." Aster tells her while placing his hand on his chest...

Asha's eyes light up in surprise, like she finally starts to realize what Aster is trying to tell her.

Aster ponders looking at her hand, how can he tell her all these new feelings that she showed him? Feelings that he can't even understand himself? How can he tell her what she's to him... Maybe the same way that he explained to her who she was... When they first met.

"Maybe... I can try beginning to explain this to you... In the best way I know how" Aster repeats the words that he said before they started singing "I'm a Star" on the night that Asha wished upon him.

And so... FINALLY... We get the song:

At All Cost

(Aster holds both of Asha's hands as the music begins, and we see fireflies flying around them. Asha looks at Aster expectantly, already suspecting what he'll say but still not quite believing this is really happening... That he actually feels the same way as her... And Aster confirms her suspicions as he begins to sing)

If happiness was a tangible thing It would be you If you'd have told me the feeling you'd bring I'd think it untrue

(Asha's eyes widen as she hears him, as he tries his best to put everything he has been feeling for so long into words. The star is gazing at her with a shy smile, his cheeks sparkling with golden star dust)

And people search for a wonder like you All of their lives You still amaze me after all this time

(Aster caresses her face gently as they say the line "You still amaze me after all this time", referring to how after growing up and watching her all these years, she still found new ways to impress him. Asha is now smiling at the star with eyes full of passion, confirming to him that she feels the same way, and with that, Aster begins to sing with more energy)

You pull me in like some kind of wind Mesmerized by the hold I'm in Leave you here, I don't wanna I wanna

(Aster pulls her in and starts spinning with her around the clearing, more fireflies start flying around them. Asha holds him closely as he sings the second line. Aster is hugging her as he sings the third line with his eyes showing more sadness, for he knows that eventually he'll have to leave her... And on the last line he looks at her, preparing to actually say what he has been meaning to say all this time... And only then he begins flying with her)

Love you as one does I, I will protect you at all costs

Keep you safe here in my arms I, I will protect you at all costs At all costs

(He holds her in the way one would when dancing a waltz, and starts guiding her to dance while they fly together, Asha is at first caught off guard by the fact they suddenly started floating, but as she looks at Aster in the eyes she knows there's nothing to fear, and she follows his lead. They're now flying above the trees, and all Asha can say while looking at the star is:)

Wow What's pain? When I look at you? No way I could explain you, even if tried to I'll never dream like used to do

(Asha caresses Aster's cheek with one hand as she now begins to put into words what she has been feeling, how when he's around she feels no pain, only happiness, how he changed her whole world and now she'll never see things or dream the same way) If someone tried to hurt you, I don't See how that could happen I'd fight for you in ways you can't imagine

(As she sings while still dancing with Aster and the two keep going higher and higher up in the sky. We see in the background behind her two constellations resembling Magnifico and Amable, and as she sings "See how that could happen" Asha moves her hands in a way like she's waving away some flies and the constellations behind her disappear as if the thought of them also is dismissed. And as she says the last line she boops Aster nose playfully to say how she's confident she'll keep him safe no matter what (You may hear in the distance the writer crying because she hates herself)) Felt this, no, I haven't, I hope It would be all right to stay right here beside you

(She smiles at the star brightly as she expresses she never felt like this before, and hugs him tightly as she sings the second line.) And love you as one does I, I will protect you at all costs

(Aster throws Asha to the sky, making her fly even higher than him, they're approaching the clouds above them. Aster flies to her and they hold each other to once again dance their waltz) Keep you safe here in my arms I, I will protect you at all costs At all costs

(As they dance flying upwards, they pass through the clouds when they sing the line "At all costs") If you're ever feeling like you're lost I'll come find you

(Asha is now above the clouds, she looks around noticing Aster disappeared, but as they sing "I'll come find you" Aster shows up behind her and gives her a hug from her back) Man all fronts, there's no ocean I won't swim across To be right by you

(Aster flies to be in front of her and holds Asha up, twirling with her in his arms, like this)

And not just once, here and now I swear on my response I'll remind you

(Aster let's her down and they gaze each other lovingly for a moment while singing those two lines with bright smiles on their faces) And love you as one does I, I will protect you at all costs Keep you safe here in my arms I, I will protect you at all costs

(They slow dance on the clouds, with the moon light and the stars shinning upon them. We get a shot like this from sleeping beauty)

(And as the song slowly comes to an end, Asha starts closing the distance between them) At all costs

(Asha's face is getting closer and closer to Aster's, as she's going for a kiss, Aster is surprised at first but he slowly goes for it too... Until.)

He stops.

As the instrumentals from "At All Cost" are replaced by different instrumentals

Instrumentals we haven't heard since the end of chapter 7.

The sound of some very angry orchestra instruments starts playing on Aster's ears, only the star can hear them, and that's shown in his face as he looks very bothered with his eyebrows scrunching.

Asha is waiting for the kiss but it never came, when she's about to open her eyes Aster just pulls her for a hug instead.

They hug, both not quite sure where to go from here, but Asha smiles brightly, feeling Aster's warmth.

Asha breaks the silence as she says "This is better than all my dreams...You actually love me back." She says almost in disbelief, but in a good way, like it's hard to believe this is real.

"Your friends said it was pretty obvious heh heh" Aster says chuckling a bit, trying to tune out the stars yelling at him.

"It kinda was ha hah" She says while laughing, because looking back Aster was very much not subtle about it "But I assumed that was just how you acted with everyone..." She admits, showing a bit of how her own insecurities were actually stopping her from seeing the very obvious truth.

Aster let's go of the hug and holds her face gently to say "Nah... Only with you." They smile, looking at her lovingly.

Asha's eyes almost sparkle as she looks to the star. She takes a deep breath and says "Aster... We'll be separated for most of the plan... I won't be there to protect you, so I need you to promise me that when you find-"

"Magnifico." Aster says in a whisper, his eyes not focusing on Asha as he's looking at something behind her

"Yeah, him, I need you to promise me tha-"

"No! Look!" Aster turns her face to look what's going on bellow the clouds.

Asha looks down and sees it... There's an army of guards approaching the forest, and leading them is someone carrying a green light.

Asha gets her sketchbook and draws a spyglass, pulling it off the page, she lays down on the cloud and uses the spyglass to confirm if it is him

Like this scene in the live action Peter Pan movie

And sure enough, it is. But she notices something else:

"Yeeesh! That lightning messed him up more than I thought... He got a huge scar on his face now." Asha comments.

"HA! Nice. I'm gonna drive him nuts when I make fun about that" The star says mischievously, already planning on how he's gonna break that staff.

"Hey, this is exactly what I was gonna talk about! I need you to be careful out there, don't get cocky, and don't fall for his tricks." Asha says sounding more serious, but with worry clear in her face.

"I'll be careful, I promise." Aster reassures her confidently. He pulls her up and holds her in his arms bridal style "Now let's go tell the others we can skip the "get his attention" part of the plan- WOOHUL!" Aster jumps off the clouds.

We cut a montage that consists of Asha and Aster narrating their parts of the plan while those steps happen in real time, we see Asha drawing something while her voice says in the background

"To get from here to the castle we could use Aster's magic, but that’s too risky since his star dust is shiny. I think it's safer if I create flying objects to get us there, it'll be dark, so hopefully if we're quick the guards won't see us."

We see Asha draw a carpet, and once she takes it out from her sketchbook it becomes a flying carpet like the one from Alladin.

Then, we cut to some guards, with one of them yawning in the forefront, guarding the castle’s entrance, while above them in the background we see some dark tiny silhouettes passing by.

We cut to Asha and Dahlia already getting off the magic carpet, now they're at the center of the royal garden.

We also see Safi and Simon flying down on a witches broom, Hal wearing shoes with wings like Hermes, Dario flying on a donkey with wings, as a reference to the short "The Flying Gauchito" from The Three Caballeros (HA! I DID IT! I REFERENCED THE THREE CABALLEROS! THIS IS SUCH A WIN FOR ME AS A BRAZILIAN!!!)

"You sure got pretty creative with these "flying objects" huh Asha?" Dahlia mentions as the others start gathering around

"Heheh thanks, I decided to just let my imagination run wild" Asha says enthusiastically.

"I could tell" Gabo mentions as he lands down on the garden, and we see him riding a happy baby elephant with big ears... So yeah we straight up have a Dumbo cameo "Couldn't you just give all of us flying brooms?"

"And where's the fun in that? Brooms are way too simple to draw." Asha shrugs "Also come on, don't tell me you don't think this one turned out pretty cute" She says cheerfully while petting the hand drawn Dumbo.

"I must say, he is quite adorable hihi" Bazeema comments quietly as she's landing on the garden with an umbrella... Like Mary Poppins.

Gabo just gets off the baby elephant as he tells Asha with a smile, as in, a genuine one this time "Hehe I really don't understand how your mind works, ya know?"

"Neither do I” Asha admits casually, while magically bringing all the living drawings back inside her sketchbook “Alright, Bazeema, where's the secret entrance you told us about?" Asha asks her bashful friend.

We see Bazeema guiding them to the middle of a rose garden. They prickle themselves through the thorny flowers, with Safi sneezing a few times, until they reach a hatchway made of metal with the symbol of Rosas engraved on it.

"Such wondrous things an introvert can find hihihi" Bazeema says quietly and proudly while pointing at the entrance.

We then cut to King Magnifico riding on his horse, leading his soldiers to the forest with an wicked smile, and we hear Aster's narration of his part of the plan:

"Meanwhile, I'll deal with king Magnifico. I just have to annoy him enough to the point where he'll let his guard down and I can take that staff off his hands, and once I do, it's over."

Magnifico prepares to throw a fire spell over the woods while saying "Let's see how long they'll keep cowering in there after THI-"

Something small and round hits behind his head. Distracting him from performing the spell. The king turns and looks angrily at his guards.

"Who threw that?!"

The guards all look at him confused, not even knowing what he's talking about.

"I did!" the voice of Alan Tudyk comes from the ground

(Yeah he doesn't get to voice Valentino, but he get's to voice most of the talking animals, since he's the lucky charm of Disney and all that)

The king looks down and sees a red squirrel (That is native of the Iberian Peninsula, look it up) holding a nut, ready to throw another one at him.

Magnifico stares at the little critter for a second before he starts laughing, turning to look at the forest as he shouts "HA! What's the matter boy?! Too scared to face me yourself?! Come on out, I know you're hiding in there!"

Then they hear Aster's voice echo from the forest, it's a voice full of glee and mischief:

"Hehehe I ain't scared of you, Alan was just eager to get started! I'm just getting warmed up!"

Some of the guards look scared by the echoing voice, while the king still smiles confidently "Oh but you should be scared, or have you forgotten what I taught you last time? That you are NO MATCH for me!"

"Hmmm It's a blur, all I remember is that now you look just as ugly on the outside as you are on the inside! HAH HAHA!" The star lets out an impish laugh, it echos through the woods.

(Aster's Peter Pan side is showing)

Magnifico's scarred face goes from a confident smile to a furious scowl. He rides his horse to go deeper inside the forest, with the guards following along "WHEN I FIND YOU I SWEAR I WILL WIPE THAT SMILE CLEAN OFF YOUR FACE!" He shouts, enraged by the star daring to insult his looks.

"Good luck with that! Cause' ya know, back at that storm I didn't really have anything to work with...But now..."

Magnifico hears screams from the soldiers behind him. He turns around and sees some of them are tangled up in vines, while others are running away from wild critters, and others are trapped inside giant flowers, it's a vision of pure chaos as now the king is on his own.

Magnifico looks at all of that in shock, unaware that Aster is now floating right behind him with a relaxed and confident smile. The star let's his presence be known as he whispers:

"Now I'm in my element." The star says that like a threat.

Magnifico get's startled but doesn't let it show, as he tries to turn around but-

He's stopped by something holding his staff.

As he looks down and sees vines trying to pull it off his hands. Magnifico tries to pull it away from them with all his strength, while making his horse walk backwards, and with that Aster starts talking casually to the horse

"Hey pal, did you know the guy sitting on you tried to kill me yesterday?" The white horse gives him a surprised glance as Aster continues "Yeah, he’s NUTS, I think you're better off without him" Aster tells him warningly.

The horse glares at Magnifico, and stands up on his back legs, making Magnifico lose his balance and fall on the ground.

The horse runs away, but the king is still holding tightly to his staff, the vines are still pulling it. He let's out a furious scream:

"UUUUGHA! You really think it's gonna be THAT easy?!" Magnifico uses a fire spell and burns the vines, once he's free he turns to where Aster was... But the star is no where to be seen.

"Yoooohooo!" Aster's voice sounds distant.

Magnifico turns to where it came from, he sees a trail, and by the end of it up a small hill, there he is, Aster is waving at him, basically inviting the king to follow the trail "Well?! What you waiting for?! Thought you wanted a proper hunt! HAHAH" And Aster flies off so fast it's almost he's just a shinny blur.

The king is catching his breath seemingly already exhausted even though the fight just begun.

His expression at first shows frustration... But it slowly changes to a wicked smirk as he talks to himself sinisterly "Indeed, I was looking forward for a hunt... And your little friends just so happen to be inside our trap."

(Pretend there’s a lightning looking scar on his left eye please, not like Harry Potter, I mean like actual lightning, thanks.)

Magnifico runs to where Aster went.

So we cut back to Asha and the others, as they make their way through a tunnel that leads to the dungeons.

"You're sureee these tunnels will lead us to the dungeons, Bazeema?" Asha asks, she's leading the group while holding a hand drawn torch

"That's what my father told me" Bazeema says quietly.

(Also I guess I should mention her dad also tends to the royal garden.)

Asha nods as she looks ahead attentively "Well I hope he's right, cause' I really don't want any surpri-"

"Maaa"

They hear the familiar bleating coming from behind them, everyone turns around and it came from... Dario, as he tries hiding something inside his shirt.

"... ooooh no no no NO NO NO" Asha says, very distressed while running to Dario, already knowing exactly who's inside his shirt "Dario! We were supposed to leave Valentino with Aster's animal friends! Why would you bring him with you???"

Dario has a face full of guilt and regret as he pulls the happy baby goat out of his large loose green shirt, he lets go of Valentino and begins to explain in sign language "He gave me big sad puppy eyes! I couldn't resist it! Plus, what's the issue? The little guy might be able to help us" Dario signs that last part with a hopeful smile that his friend will agree

Asha doesn't agree at all though, as she takes Valentino in her arms

Asha scolds her tall friend while holding Velentino close to her "I promised myself I would never let him in this castle again, last time he almost got eaten by a lynx and- and what if he gets lost??"

"Asha, calm down." Simon comes in from behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder "We just gotta stick to the plan and stay together, we'll be safe."

Asha notices that he sounds... Very certain about that, which is odd coming from him. But Asha thinks it's a nice change for Simon.

"*Sigh*... Yeah you're right, we just have to stay together" She turns around and smiles at Simon "I'm glad you're not so scared anymore, you seemed pretty insecure about the plan earlier today" She says calmly as she makes he way back to the front of the line.

Dario follows Asha, now walking in front of Simon. The light coming from Asha's torch is distant so Simon is more in the darkness as he says

"I just needed some time to put my thoughts in order" His voice is emotionless.

And we see his eyes glow green for a second.

But immediately after that, he winces quietly in pain, placing a hand in his forehead as if he's feeling a strong headache. None of the other's notice though, as his eyes are back to normal when he opens them again.

We cut to them now inside the dungeons, it's a dark, large and humid corridor with walls made of dark bricks, with jail cells all along the way. Safi keeps sneezing because of the humidity.

(I got this image from a deleted scene from Wish, I swear I had this plot point of them getting in the dungeons for MONTHS and I just watched the deleted scene a week ago, it’s insane how much stuff I came up with seems to be in sink with the movie’s original ideas)

"I hate this place- ACHOOOO!" The boy looks scared as he holds on to his scarf "Are we close to the exit yet, Gabo?"

"We sure are buddy, just a few jail cells ahead and we reach the exit" Gabo says confidently, he knows his way through the dungeon since, as he told his friends earlier, when he was a kid he went to explore it.

(I forgot to mention in the previous chapter but his dad is a guard, that's why he had keys to the dungeons that Gabo stole from him)

"Good, this place gives me the creeps" Dahlia says, while looking around scared

"Look on the bright side, guys" Hal chimes in trying to bring some optimism "At least there aren't any creepy inmates, it's just us and our friendly faces" the girl smiles brightly, hugging Safi and Dahlia by the shoulders.

"And also this poor fella" Gabo says, pointing at a skeleton laying down out of a jail cell, trying to reach for an empty jar of water

Like this one from Snow White.

"... HMMM oooookayy let's pick up the pace, shall we?" Hal says with a clearly forced smile this time, her eyes wide as she starts to walk faster, still hugging Safi and Dahlia so they go with her.

Dario, Bazeema and Simon also start walking faster after the others, while Asha stays still for a moment

She looks down at the skeleton and ponders out loud "... I wonder what kind of people Magnus and Amaya would keep down here... Maybe people who found out about the secret like I did." Her voice is heavy and full of concern.

"I don't like how that implies this could happen to you." Gabo says for once not sounding condescending nor sarcastic, but genuinely worried, he's also the only one that didn't walk away from the skeleton and stayed to talk to Asha "Let's, just this once, assume anything in Rosas is normal and this guy just robbed the crown's jewels or something, now come on" He says, rushing Asha to keep going.

This is probably the closest Gabo ever got to being "Optimistic"... In his own way. Asha smiles at that as she starts walking after him. Then they hear Dahlia's voice coming a few meters in front of them:

"GABO! Is this the way out?!"

Asha and Gabo run to where they are, and all six of them are standing in front of a big wooden door

"YUP! This is it" Gabo says with a huge smile

"Great! Hold this" She hands her hand drawn torch to Safi, as she gets her sketchbook and pencil to draw a key, she then pulls it out of her sketchbook

"How do you know it's gonna fit though?" Safi asks her curious

"I drew it thinking of it as the key to this door, and so-" She fits the key inside the keyhole and the door makes the clicking sound of it being opened "It is" Asha smiles victoriously

All the teens look excited, the plan is going smoothly so far.

Asha gives them one last ted talk before she opens the door

"Alright guys, after we're in the castle we'll have to be VERY careful, yes, it's just queen Amaya in there, and a crazy lynx, but still, she's unpredictable." Her voice is of a true leader.

"Oh nooo! Is she gonna throw hot tea at us or something? Hahah" Gabo laughs at his own joke

Asha begins to open the door while looking down at Gabo. "You have no idea what she's capable of. So when we're in, we just run through the-"

"KITCHEN?!" Dahlia exclaims looking shocked at what's behind the door, all the other teens except Asha are also looking at it, just as shocked as her.

Asha looks at her friend confused "What? No, we're not going even close to the kitchen, we-" Asha turns to look where the door leads to and sure enough...

She sees the royal kitchen.

"... Huh?!"

All of them go through the door. Now they're inside the dark kitchen.

A place Dahlia is really familiar with... So she knows very well this is all wrong.

"Okay... This is freaky" Dahlia says looking around the place "That door was supposed to lead to the pantry, NOT the dungeon" she says scared, pointing at the door they came through.

Asha looks around the dark room, her face becomes more and more worried "This makes no sense..."

"Maybe your magic key messed with the door?" Gabo asks Asha

"No it didn't, this isn't my magic's doing, it's-" Asha looks at the door and realizes... There's something written on it. She gets a closer look, and sees symbols written all over the door, with some words in latin too... "This is the king's sorcery... He made a trap for us..." Asha sounds terrified.

"T-that's impossible, how could he know we were coming?" Hal asks, sounding just as distressed as her friend

"H-he couldn't, I-" Asha takes a deep breath and closes the door they came through "Check the other door!"

Dario runs to the door that leads to outside of the kitchen. It also has symbols written on it, but he tries opening it anyway...

It leads to the dungeons they just got out off too.

Dario looks back at them scared.

"... There's no way out" Asha whispers, sounding more and more distressed by the second. She takes Valentino from the floor and holds him in her arms.

"What about that door?" Simon asks, pointing at another door, but this one has no symbols written on it... And he sounds surprisingly calm for the situation.

"That's just the closet we keep the pans, pots and utensils. That's not an exit…" Dahlia explains, trying her best not to panic.

"Who knows? Maybe it'll lead somewhere, only one way to find out." Simon walks towards it.

He opens it, they look inside, it's so dark in there they can't even see the kitchen stuff that Dahlia mentioned.

Asha starts walking to the door, not sure if there'll be anything at all that can help them escape, but it's worth a shot, after all they apparently have nowhere else to go.

(I just realized there's probably a window in this kitchen and these kids are just being really dramatic)

Asha turns to her friends as she walks to the door "It's gonna be okay, Aster will come here after breaking Magnifico's staff any moment now... I know he will... All we gotta do is wait and stay toge-THEEEEEERRR"

And she falls in a dark pit inside the room.

"ASHA!" All 7 teens scream in unison, and I mean all 7, Simon included, as he genuinely didn't expect this.

(Actually, Dario wouldn't scream but uuh you get the idea)

However, he is the only one that stays outside the room, while all the other six run in, but unlike Asha, they don't fall anywhere, they're simply inside a normal room with pans and pots.

"Where did she go?!" "WAS THAT A TRAP?!" "What is going on???"

All of them speak at the same time, desperate for answers, but in the sea of shouts and questions they hear one quiet question

"Simon?" Bazeema's quiet high pitched voice makes the others go silent as they all turn around and see Simon standing in the entrance.

He looks at them with genuine sadness for what he's about to do.

"I'm sorry." He closes the door with a BLAM and locks it.

...

"... W H A T " Gabo's voice comes out filled with rage. "DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

"I'm keeping you guys safe, like I've been trying to do this whole time but none of you EVER listen to me!" The oldest of the group says from the other side of the door.

"Si-simon, what's going on, why are you doing this?" Dahlia asks desperately.

Simon takes a deep breath and tries to explain "... Look, I'm going to be straight with you all, I talked with king Magnifico-"

(Hahah that’s a direct quote from Wreck It Ralph, when he betrays Vaneloppe)

"MAGNIFICO?!" Gabo shouts with indignation "YOU DIRTY TRAITOR! YOU SOLD US OUT!"

"No! No it's not like that!... At least, it wasn't supposed to happen, I-I didn't mean to do it-" Simon knows they won't forgive him but he tries to at least explain he did it for their own good "I just wanted to make a deal with him, to give him the star's location in exchange of all of us not getting hurt-"

"OH SO YOU WANTED SELL ASTER OUT!?" Gabo for the first time calls the star by his name

"LISTEN! I was desperate, okay?! I knew that if we just went with this plan things could go horribly wrong, and I knew none of you would listen to me if I tried to stop you, so... I contacted him through a mirror he gave to my dad" Simon is sitting with his back on the door as he explains, sounding more and more scared "And- I- I even realized I was making a mistake... I really did! I tried to break the mirror or throw it away but- I couldn't do it- he just kept talking and talking and- UGH" Simon winces in pain and holds his forehead as his eyes once again glow green, he takes some deep breaths as he ever so slightly calms down "The point is... We made a deal. He promised that if I keep you all in here then you'll be safe. It's the only way I can protect you." Simon's face looks tired as he says those words monotonously, like he's just repeating what he has heard before.

"Then WHERE is Asha?! Or was she not included in the deal?!" Now it's Dahlia's turn to yell at him through the door.

Simon's face instantly turns worried once more as if he's snapping out trance "I- I don't know... He never said this would happen" Simon thinks for a moment "Though... I don't remember much of what he said at all..."

"Ooooooh GREAT! Magnus gave you amnesia, such a trust worthy guy HUMM SIMON?!" Gabo says sarcastically, but his voice is not trying to be funny, he is furious.

"I- I'm sure wherever she is she'll be fine!" Simon tells them... More so trying to tell this to himself.

...

We cut to Asha falling from a dark portal that opened in the ceiling of a room.

She screams while hugging Valentino tightly.

"THEEEER- OOOF" She hits the floor "Ouch... Uuugh... you ok Valentino?" She asks her goat while groaning in pain.

"MaAAaaA" Valentino doesn't sound his best, but overall he's alright.

Asha get's up and looks around to see where she is... The king's study... Right next to the wishes room...

This is actually exactly where she and her friend's planned to go, they wanted to free all the wishes by opening the tower's ceiling, so Aster could use his magic and un-curse them all, then give them back to the people of Rosas...

But her friends aren't here... She's alone.

"How did things go so wrong?" Asha asks to herself while looking around the room, she notices some broken mirrors on the walls, as she sees he own reflection "... Come on Val, I'll send the signal to Aster. Regardless if he broke Magnifico's staff or not, he gotta come here and help me." Asha walks to the wishes room, while flipping through the pages of her sketchbook, until she finds the drawing she was looking for, a firework.

She's about to reach for the firework to take it out off the page... But then she sees the light of the wishes floating above her.

She stops and looks up to them, some of them are still blue, but the majority are green.

She looks up with a bittersweet smile, and says quietly with her voice full of hope "Hang in there just a little bit longer, okay? I promise I'll save all of you."

"It's unwise to make promises you cannot keep, mi rosa."

Asha feels a chill run down her spine. As she turns around quickly with an expression of horror already painted on her face.

Queen Amable is standing a few feet away from her, she's in the study while Asha is in the middle of the wishes room.

The queen smiles at Asha sadistically, with her pet lynx right by her side.

Chapter 15

Final Thoughts

OOOOOOOOH BOY so much happened huh?!

I am going crazy, wacky even, I waited so long for us to get to this part of the story! Not just the "At All Cost" stuff, I mean like THE CLIMAX THAT IS APPROACHING AND IM JUST BUILDING UP TO IT NOW AAAAAAH.

But YEAH let's talk about the At All Cost stuff, cause like... WOOOOAH BOY I love that song, and not just because it's pretty, but because while listening to it I felt like the song perfectly encapsulates teenage love, what do I mean? Because it's all so pure and like the two voices are saying the first things that come to their minds, it feels like a passionate train of thought forming in real time, and that's what I wanted to be like for Aster and Asha, as Aster is trying to figure out these feelings he didn't even know they could have, and Asha is caught off guard but so happy to finally show what she has been feeling too. It's beautiful.

I feel like most Disney couples don't feel like... Teenage love, mostly because the guys are ALWAYS older than the girl, and like, not that there's anything wrong with that... Except in some cases *glares at Snow White and Florian's age gap* but I think it's quite refreshing to see young love being depicted like this, with the two acting awkward and even oblivious because they don't know what love really feels like... And also they're raising a rebellion so that kinda keeps them distracted.

But speaking of the rebellion... It really takes just ONE person not believing in the cause for everything to go down the drain, huh? Yeah, Simon has his own ways of protecting his friends, while Asha chooses to fight, Simon chooses to comply. And really, I feel sorry for him, you guys maybe don't, like, everyone now might be a Simon hater, and I get it, but like, Magnifico played him like a fiddle.

Simon just hoped that if the king got Aster he'd leave Asha alone, but as they were talking Simon realized that Magnifico really wanted BOTH of them, so he realized he made a mistake and even tried to break the mirror... But before he could, welp, Magnifico pulled a Kaa move, and hypnosis happens to be way more effective on people who are feeling sleepy, so really Simon had no chance.

And can I just toot my own horn here and say that I'm so proud that even when Magnifico and Amaya aren't in the scene they'tr still threatening? Because that scene at the kitchen when they realize they're trapped, meaning that Magnifico knows their plan, GIVES ME CHILLS, probably because I hate the idea of being confined in a room with nowhere to leave.

And like... Magnifico is doing this just for the lols really, the guy could've just made Simon tell him where they were and captured them in the forest, but he was like "Ooooh they wanna get in the castle to harm my wife? Well, we can't have that now can we? Here's what I want you to do-" And then proceeds to make Simon betray his friends in such a way they'll never forgive him, oh, and if Simon doesn't do it then the king implies they WILL get hurt, how fuuuun.

It's funny how Aster is just having fun in the forest, messing with Magnifico, going through his Peter Pan arc, completely unaware Asha and the others are going through a living nightmare. Oh but don't worry, he'll join the nightmare too :)

You guys might start to think I'm on the villains side or something because they always get the upper hand, but this is all part of the metaphor of them representing the struggles Asha faces in her life, and let me tell ya folks, life is hard, sometimes just as hard as defeating two villains, but no matter what they do, Asha will keep fighting, and that's what makes a hero, the lower a hero get's, the more satisfying it is when they rise... And the higher a villain rises, the harder they fall :)

See ya'll next time!

Thank You For Reading!

159 notes · View notes

pocketjoong · 6 months

Text

❥𓂃𓏧Intertwined Destinies

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (SYNOPSIS) "There will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears, and love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears..." After The Storm, Mumford & Sons

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (PAIRING) idol!seonghwa x gn!reader

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (GENRE AND AU/TROPE): angst to fluff. soulmates.

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (WARNINGS) Angst. It ends in fluff though? Sad and frustrated Seonghwa. Sad you. Mentions of broken hearts. Lmk if I missed anything ksksks

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (WORD COUNT) 1.4k

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (A/N) @hwaightme my loveeeeeeee~ happy birthday! I love you as much as there are stars (hwas) in the night sky. thank you for being you and for being such a kind and warm person. wishing you lots of love from the bottom of my hwart. I hope this is not too angsty asdfghjkl, I was planning on fluff, but my brain didn't want to listen... :) Anyways, I hope you like this little rollercoaster of tears, and i'm sorry in advance!

Shoutout to @armysantiny for reading this beforehand!

Seonghwa runs his fingers through his already tousled ebony hair, groaning as he pauses the track sent to him by the producers at KQ. In the dimly lit studio, the neon glow from the computer screen casts a dreamy glow around him. Seonghwa’s brows furrow as he stares down at the pages of his leather-bound notebook. Each scribbled lyric within its pages doesn’t seem to fit the melody given to him.

For Seonghwa, writing lyrics is a territory he’s still exploring and learning. But he wanted to challenge himself this time around, especially since he had received help from Hongjoong while writing lyrics for his rap verse in Bouncy. That experience ignited the desire to create something that will not only awe atinys but also the composers too. But till now, every word he has penned down seems like a discordant note in what he would consider a masterpiece.

With a deep, exasperated sigh, Seonghwa slumps back in his chair. The leather creaks in protest, adding another irritating voice to the cacophony of his own rapidly darkening thoughts. Seonghwa groans again, frustration etched across his features as he tugs at the roots of his hair as though trying to yank inspiration from the depths of his mind.

“You will rip out all your hair if you keep that up,” Hongjoong deadpans from the doorway, causing the elder male to slowly swivel in his chair, exhausted eyes meeting the former’s figure. “You need help?”

Seonghwa’s response is a weary shake of his head, his lips parting, about to reassure his friend, but Hongjoong interjects, his voice laced with concern.

“You need to take a break, Hwa,” Hongjoong implores. “You’ve been cooped up for so long in the studio. That’s my thing, not yours. We’re worried about you, especially since…” He trails off, his gaze shifting to Seonghwa’s forearm, which remains fully concealed by his full-sleeved shirt.

“Oh, it's fine, Hongjoong,” Seonghwa smiles, though anyone can see the fakeness of it. “I'm—”

“—If you say fine once more, I swear,” unable to bear his friend’s hollow reassurances any longer, Hongjoong cuts him off with a firm tone and sits on the vacant chair next to Seonghwa. “I've known you for years, Hwa. And even if I didn't, I would still be able to know that you are not fine.”

Seonghwa's weary sigh seems to echo in the dimly lit room as his gaze drifts up to the false ceiling as if searching for answers among the shadows.

“I’m not…” he begins, words weighed down by the gravity of his emotions. “How can I be? I was supposed to get my soulmate tattoo on my birthday. And I didn’t.” The words spill from his lips like a lament, each syllable tinged with the bitterness of disappointment. His voice begins to quiver as he continues to speak, “Out of every single person in this world, why is it me who doesn't have a soulmate? Am I not worthy of one? I know I’m not perfect, but…” Seonghwa’s voice breaks, and he finally turns to look at Hongjoong with tear-filled eyes. “Out of everyone, why me?”

“Seonghwa…” Hongjoong begins, but the weight of Seonghwa’s words leaves him momentarily speechless.

Seonghwa lets out a bitter chuckle and shakes his head as if trying to shake off the sorrow that clings to him like a shroud. He rises from his seat, “You won't understand, Joong. You have an amazing soulmate; please take care of them.”

With that, Seonghwa leaves the room, leaving Hongjoong alone in the dimly lit studio. As the door closes behind the taller male, his eyes fall on the lyrics Seonghwa had penned.

Mournful thunder rips the skiesIt’s much too bright for me to hideAnd purples lie beneath my eyesAnother crash as clouds collide

“You're right,” Hongjoong whispers in the studio, his voice blending in with the shadows. I don't understand. But I wish from the bottom of my heart that the universe gives you your soulmate. If anyone deserves one, it’s you,” his words hand in the air, lingering like an unspoken prayer, even though he knows that Seonghwa can’t hear him.

As he speaks, a soft breeze gently rustles the curtains, casting patterns of light and shadow on the walls. The room itself seems to hold its breath as if in reverence for the longing that envelopes Seonghwa’s heart.

The world has always worked in peculiar ways as it tries to unite each soulmate pair. On the day one turned 22, the universe would bestow an individual with soulmate marks. Each mark, in one way or another, had the power to help the bearer to contact their soulmate, either through dreams, thoughts, or writing. It is different for everyone but similar in that it all led to one destination: the union of souls.

You had always believed in the concept of soulmates, for it was a belief etched deep into your heart as you couldn’t help but be captivated by the concept. You loved to read about soulmates and heard stories from people about how they met their soulmates. Hearing all the stories from different people, you started fantasising about how you’d meet yours. And by the time you turned 22, there wasn’t a thing you didn't know about soulmates. You had read almost every book you could lay hands on and talked to whoever had met their soulmates. There were some cases where someone didn’t get their soulmate tattoo, but that was extremely rare, and in one generation, not more than one or two people didn’t get their tattoos. But since you had read everything and knew a lot, you thought you were ready for anything.

But nothing could have prepared you for the disaster that struck on the day of your 22nd birthday, a day that was meant for a celebration of destiny. You were happy as you saw the beautiful musical note that was engraved on the skin of your wrist that morning. There was a skip in your step that day until the evening. As you were returning from your classes at the university while listening to ATEEZ, a K-Pop group that you loved for their deep and meaningful music, you became aware of the stinging pain in your wrist. Like a nightmare, you saw the newly acquired music note fade, and the world was enveloped in darkness. When you awoke, you found yourself in the sterile confines of a hospital room, surrounded by your family, who bore expressions of sympathy and sorrow.

A year has passed since that fateful day that shattered your dreams, leaving you grappling with the wreckage of your heart. In a bid to start life anew, you move to South Korea, taking on the role of a translator for a broadcasting network.

As you navigate your new life in a foreign land, the pain of your lost soulmate remains a constant companion, an indelible mark on your heart. The wound is far from healed, but a sense of contentment begins to seep into your life. South Korea, with its bustling cityscape, offers you solace and a chance to rebuild your life.

The rain pelts against the coffee shop’s misty windowpanes, creating a soothing melody of its own. Inside the warmth of the coffee shop, you sit perched upon a cushioned stool, your hand cradling a cup of warm hot chocolate in your hands. The cafe is quite crowded today due to individuals seeking shelter from the rain. The soft chatter of conversations swirls in the air, punctuated by the distant hum of espresso machines and the occasional clinking of cutlery.

As you gaze out at the deserted street, a tranquil feeling settles within you, the raindrops serving as a lullaby to your thoughts. It allows you a brief respite from the storm, both literal and metaphorical, that had rages within your soul.

The sound of the bell, which signals the door’s opening, shakes you out of your reverie. You look up, curiosity piqued by the arrival of a masked figure. The male surveys the room, eyes scanning the available seating options, and his gaze settles upon the only vacant spot next to you.

With each step the mysterious figure takes to walk toward you, you can’t help but feel that you know them from somewhere. Your pulse quickens when realisation dawns upon you. It hits you like lightning that the mysterious figure is Park Seonghwa.

Your breath is caught in your throat as he approaches. His sultry, brown eyes meet yours, and something clicks inside you. As if controlled by an unseen force, he reaches a hand out for you, and as your fingers meet his, a beautiful star engraves itself on both your and his wrists, a symbol of your intertwined destinies.

#cromernet #k-labels #wonderlandnet #kvanity #ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez fic #ateez angst #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa reactions #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa angst

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agirlwholovesrockstars · 12 days

Text

careless whisper

♡ STEVE HARRINGTON'S MASTERLIST ♡

❁ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❁

﹆ Summary : you loved him with all your heart but he became unfaithful and there's nothing that he can do to mend it, is it really your last dance together?

﹆ Word Count : and again hoping it's not that too long for y'all

﹆ Warnings : 18+ MDNI��️KingSteve! x FEM!reader, cursing, Steve and reader are both (18), unprotected sex, p in v penetration, both oral receiving, SMUT‼️, slight public sex I guess?, Steve will be so oblivious with readers feelings, cheating, unrequited love, friends to lovers, emotional abuse, tolerating, no use of y/n, not going to give any spoilers in here but beware that this will be ANGSTY!

﹆ What to Expect : SMUT‼️, FLUFF‼️, ANGST‼️, Steve and reader are the IT couple on Hawkins High, of course- by the term "King Steve" you know what that means, sorry ✌🏻

﹆ Note To Reader : Y'ALL BABY'S FIRST EVER STEVE HARRINGTON FIC!!!! AHHHHH <3 I'm so excited to spill all of my ideas about my first ever fave character from the show! and yeah I also apologize that I chose to do angst first 😔🤚🏻

﹆ Author Note : this is literally one of my favorite songs from George Michael and don't come at me, okay?!? I was just listening to this song and I was like why is this so Steve coded?!? AND YUP IT CLICKED AN IDEA!!!! ;))

Present : Prom 1984

"How are you holding up?" He asks as he tries to look at your eyes but you're avoiding it

"Been alright" you say as you look at him very briefly, your touches with him as you both swayed in the dance floor it felt different

His heart sunk when you couldn't even look into his eyes in the same way again

The eyes that are once so dreamy when you both locked in

He can tell that you're still moving on from him

He can tell that your eyes speaks louder than words

He can tell that you're still hurting because of him

Past : He shouldn't had an affair with someone else

"Diana, she isn't-"

"I know"

Steve is staggered as he swallows nervously in front of you, he wishes to be sucked down deeply on the floor and never to be seen again

He's ashamed for himself

He doesn't understand the meaning and the idea of love until it hits him like a block of bricks

And it hit really hard to the point that right after he slept with the other woman that night after the party that you both went out

He realized he made a mistake

A huge mistake that "sorry" can never undo the damage to what he has been done

Once the trust is broken it can never be fixed

You know he had a choice not to choose to cheat on you

But you laugh in disbelief as you think about it

Oh, right, he's King Steve

He doesn't know feelings and wants to keep his title to stay relevant

"W-Wait, you knew?"

"Everybody at school knows about it, Steve" you tried your very best to mask your pained expression but he can see it

The look on your face pierces right through his chest as he gulps

You have every right to be mad at him

You have every chance to shout and yell at him

But you didn't....

You talk so cold like it doesn't even matter to you

He darts his eyes everywhere in the room as he spoke again "After all this time?"

You sigh tiredly "Yeah"

He shook his head at you as he couldn't believe what you just said

"How? H-How you look-"

"What- I look what?!"

"You look...fine"

You incredulously laugh "Of course, I've had to Steve, we both got a title to keep it stable, right?" You reply to him in a mockery way as he averts his eyes somewhere else

"If you knew then why are you still with me?"

You frown at his words as you take all the courage to not breakdown at him, to not show him that you're weak but you failed since....

You love him too much that it's okay if you break apart from him

"Because I love you, Steve! Why don't you get that?!?"

Your chest heaves heavily as you try to control your breath as you cried angrily but also filled with sadness and frustration

Steve gasps, the moment you snap at him and saw you for the first time like this

You've never showed your side of vulnerability, yes, you've told him a couple of glimpses of your life but never this

Now, his eyes burned with forming tears as he tries to close his mouth in shock

You loved him? No one has ever loved him truly before

"I loved you so much that I play pretend so I can keep you!" You hiccupped into your own tears

"I loved you too" he said it out loud before he can stop himself, you saw how his eyes widens when he realizes what he just said

It's like a record scratch, you stare at him with your tear-stained cheeks as you studied his face

You blink, "What?!?"

"I've been drawn to you ever since we we're friends"

"S-Steve" you shift on your stance

"You're the only friend that I've ever had, who knows me better than I do"

You throw your palms on your face as you continue to sob

You're both dating for almost 2 years but why does he have to betray you to make him realize that he is in love just like you?

"Is this true?" You quietly say as you wipe away your tears

"Yes, it is" he walks closer to you but you moved away giving him the signal that you don't want him to hold you

"I-I tried to ignore the signs before that I thought maybe you- you just wanted this for to gain something"

What the fuck?

"Is that all really matters to you? Steve? don't you even think about how much I've suffered to maintain my sweet-like personality whenever we walked in the hallways?!?"

He thought maybe if he confessed his true feelings to you, everything will go back to normal

But it doesn't....

Not even the truth will bring the both of you comfort

Pain is all there ever is

"I've wanted to scream and I'm so tired to act like everything is okay, I really really wanted us to last, Steve"

"Turns out it was just only me who wanted to have a future with you"

The words just rolls out of your bitter tongue and it's a punch to his gut

"N-No, that isn't true" he begs

"You lost me, Steve, you had your chance and you blew it" you sniffle

Before he can say anything, you left him alone in his house as his eyes are still glued at the closed door hoping that you'll come back

But you never ever did

Future : if only he's loyal to you this wouldn't happen

You endured every single thing that his friends talked about you

Talked about, you're not fit into their world

Saying that "she doesn't belong here" but you didn't care because why?

You loved him

You love Steve Harrington despite what everyone else says

You don't care about titles

You don't care about these social cliques

You just wanted to have good friends and well, maybe love

Everybody adored you at school saying that you're the sweetest and kindest popular girl, it's actually rare for them to have those qualities because most of them are fucking assholes

You even overheard some other people like how did you even get into this situation?

Back in 1982, you're a new kid at school and you somehow manage to get into King Steve's heart without any hassle

You wished you've only stayed as friends

So, this wouldn't have hurt this much

"Steve!"

"What?"

"You know I'm ticklish!"

"I don't know" he feigns innocence and he still continues torturing you into your side as he towers over you as you lay at the grass with a blanket on his backyard

"Stop!" You say with a breathy laugh

He chuckles when you pout at him holding the both of his wrists "Okay, okay"

There's a moment that both of you halted over your silliness at each other

He never felt anything like this before

His heart is beating so loud that he could hear it throbbing on his ear

Your eyes went everywhere to his face

He is absolutely so beautiful up close like this

You're the first one to break the whatever that was

He nods as he runs his fingers through his hair as he watches you

He is so thankful that he has someone like you

You've never judged him, you let him know that emotions are valid that he can always count on you

You comforted him on his darkest days, you're the sunshine that help him to forget his absent parents

You feel so sorry for him when he told you he's alone most of the time in his enormous house

Yeah, maybe he's wealthy but he did not once felt happy until you came along

You're like an angel, he knows that he made the right decision to sit next to you at English Class, that's where it all began your newfound friendship

A part of him is afraid at that time you might back out if you found out that he's King Steve and his reputation at school

He is surprised that you didn't knew anything about him and that gives him a relief

After everything crashed down, now, you wished you knew all about him that's how he thinks about love

It's all just fun and games to him

You cursed at yourself for being so lovesick

A smile grows on his lips as watches you ate cherries on the vanilla milkshake that he make for you, it's your favorite

The whipped cream went on the sides of lips as you take a sip from the straw

He swiped it using his thumb and you blushed at his sudden action

He licked it off clean as you watch him

He catches you staring, there's a unreadable gleam on your eyes that he didn't not quite understood yet

Steve can't even register that he's moving closer to you and you froze as you hold your milkshake tightly as he cradles your cheek

He runs his tongue over his lips as his eyes stare at your rosy lips

He moves inches closer and your breath hitches, your mouth is slightly open as you look at him

He gave you one last look before he dive in

Your lips are now connected to his as he pulled you closer to him, he snatches your milkshake away as he puts it down as you start squirming and shut your eyes as you throw your arms around him

He smiles through the kiss as he deepens making you moan and his heart flutters at the sound of it, your hand crawls through his perfectly styled hair and he made a guttural groan at your move as you tug it slightly

His hands went at your waist as he squeezes it, the touch is overwhelming and your skin feels on fire everytime he grabs and graze his fingertips under over your clothed body

He slowly made you lay down beneath the blanket as you spread your legs to position himself on top of you

Your heart had never been this so fast, he tilts his head over the side as you yelp when his hands went under your skirt he starts toying with the garter of your panties, he smirks through the kiss

He cuts off your heated make out session as he removes his shirt and his eyes widens when you chase his lips as he pecks on it, you blink at his bared chest as you became flustered yet again, your fumbled panicky with the buttons of your blouse but he halted you as you let him undress you

It reveals a red lacy bra as he wolfishly whistles and you playfully slapped his chest as you duck your head down in a shy manner

God, why you gotta be so adorable?

He uses his index finger and his thumb to lift your chin to make you look at his gaze as you finally take him in

His cheeks are flushed, his hair is a mess and both of you are matching the same looks

The look that he's giving you, it's enough to make your mouth run dry and the wetness is pooling between your red lacy underwear

It doesn't take him too long to kiss your lips once again as he rises up slowly to undo his belt and his pants along with his boxers

He unclasps your bra as he throws on the side doesn't really matter where it lands as your hands when back onto your skirt to unzip it as you shimmy down and put it away

He reaches at your red lacy underwear but the moment he struggles to get it off, he starts to get impatient he snaps it just right about where your knees making you squeal

"I'll get you a new one, don't worry, baby" he growls as his hot kisses went everywhere on your chest and you can tell that he is hesitant to touch you

He doesn't even know if you wanted this but as if you can read his mind, the second thoughts were erased as you told him

"Steve, it's okay, you can touch me"

You breath heavily with his kneading your breasts as he plants smearing marks on your neck hitting that sweet spot making you mewl

He pats your thigh as a signal to wrap it on his hips

He holds your waist aggressively you know it will be bruised and it turns you on even more

You gasp as you can felt his tip intruding your tight hole as you can feel him entering smoothly along with your juices and arousal

It doesn't even needed a lubrication, he is drenched because of you

"Jesus Christ, y-you're dripping wet" he grunts as he watches your cunt devouring him as he can see your eyes fighting to stay open

He smirks as he fills you all the way up, you throw your head onto the side as you bit down your bottom lip

"S-Steve, please move"

He is so big to make you scream as you finally adjusted to his size and felt comfortable with pain and pleasure

He puts the other leg down as he lifts the other one as he puts over his shoulder and pulls you down closer to him that earned a whimper from you

He starts rutting in and out slowly, he hasn't even done anything and yet, it's driving you crazy

The squelching noises, the slamming back and forth with his slow pace as you start clenching around him

"Goddamn it, baby, you gotta stop doing that" his mouth is hanging open and already knows what heaven feels like

This is heaven

He doesn't ever want to leave

"M-Move f-faster" you stuttered between soft moans as you pawing at his hairy covered chest as he begins to go rough on you

Your hand flew over as you slapped and covered your mouth as your breasts start to jiggle from his movement, he tear off your hand as he pins it down

"Don't be shy on me, I wanna hear you loud and clear"

You whine and arched your back as he start to held both of your arms to go along with his neck as he pulls you even more further making him go deeper inside of you as you throw your head back and you gave him his wishes

You moaned beautifully as he devilishly smirks as he kisses you again but this time is filled with lust and teeth began to clash

Your whole body feels lumpy as both of you went back down as he raises both of your arms over the top of your head as he pounds at you placing kisses all over your face

You watch him down below as he fucks you ramming his way so easily

Your eyes rolls back as your high pitched moans went "ah-ah-ah" he feels so fucking great to hear those coming out of you because he's the one that made you feel like this

"So tight, baby, you're killing me"

"S-Steve, don't sto-p"

You wrap your legs around him as you tangle at him along with his body to push him down

"Oh shit!" he exclaims as his eyes darkens

You giggle but the time when he fingers touched your clit and you shudder

"Not so funny are we now, baby?" He bullys your clit earning a lewd noises falls from your lips

You nod at him pathetically as you matched his movements making him chuckle darkly

He lets go of your hands as he hooks his hand under your knees as he sheathes himself inside of you

You started babbling at him saying "S-Steve- fuck! That's it right there!" You shouted out loud but not without a moan

Yes, this is what he wanted

Let the neighbors hear you that he's the one who giving you this sweet pleasure

He thrusts as you shake your head begging for a release

"Yes, baby, I know, just let it go, I got you"

"ah-Steve!-oh"

You moan wildly as you chant his name as you came undone

He spills his load painting your flesh walls white

Your legs are trembling and you're shaking badly as he lazily smile as his spent body went boneless on top of you

You embrace him with your warmth along with your tangled legs as you kept him in place

His eyes go big when he realizes he had done something, you felt him became tense as you hold him softly by his shoulder blades

Despite, the fiery sex that you just both had, you're still in that haze but you remembered that both of you just did that on his backyard is making you feel fuzzy

He carefully rips himself off of you as he start scrambling to get on with his boxers

You immediately missed his scent on you

You furrow your brows as you watch him run off with that worried look on his eyes

You didn't have the time to wear your discarded clothes as you chose to grab his towel that is hanging around the lounge chair that he uses when he wants to take a dip from his swimming pool, you covered it with your naked body

"Steve! Wait- what is it?" You asked him with concern his heart feels booming inside of his chest by the tone of your voice

You really did care about him

This is all too good to be true

You followed him as he moves the sliding the door as he went outside he stopped once he's in there

You stare at behind his back and insecurities are now lurking in the shadows

Did he regret it?

Just run off and never look back save yourself from rejection

But you didn't instead, you touched his shoulder softly as he melts with it, you call out to his name again, you swore you heard him crying

He slowly turns his body around facing you and now you met Steve's eyes with threatening tears that are about to fall

"O-Oh my god, Steve? Are you okay?- Tell m-"

"W-We didn't use protection- and I-" he croaked up in his own tears

"I came inside of you and I didn't even asked you first that if you wanted this to happen" he motions at the two of you and you can see the guilty look from his eyes as he rests his forehead against with yours

Your eyes softens as it starts become glossy

Did he ruin your friendship?

Did he broke the last precious thing that meant a lot from him?

"Steve, it's fine, I've wanted you to"

His blinked the tears away just to see your face clearly

"Y-You wanted it?" He says as he holds your hands raising it closer to his face as he kisses it

You take a deep breath through your nose as you brave enough to confess your feelings

"I wanted you more than as a friend, Steve"

The swallows the lump on his throat as his chest eases out from tension

"The truth is that I love you, Steve" a fallen tear as you smile at him

Your eyes are shining with so much affection that he doesn't have before and it scares him

He shakes his head in disbelief as he watches you hug him

"You don't have to say anything, I just wanted you to know that I do, I am really in love with you"

He squeezes his eyes shut to your words as he hugs you tightly as he rests on the crook of your shoulder

He finally got what he wanted all of his life

Until, he realizes it was too late

He was too late for him to figure it all out, when you finally made up your mind that you want him in the first place

You loved him too early, he loved you too late

Aftermath : you can't ever lie to yourself that you still want him after how he treated you harshly

As much as you wanted to cling on to him and keep things the way they were

You know what's best for you

You know it's the right thing to do

You know deep down to your soul that you don't want this to end

But this is all too much for you, too much for you to bear

The agony, pain, sorrow, disappointment, heartache, if you continue this, you will be miserable

You want it keep it going, hell, if he asked you to marry him, you would, fuck, he might not even finished saying the lines, you will say "yes" to everything

But his heart is elsewhere, his mind is remains afloat

You got your heart and your soul devoted to him, you gave your most sacred value, your body

Only to be wasted to be washed away down the drain

But still, you've never regret doing it to him,

But no matter what you do, no matter how many times he apologizes to you, sure, you can see it that he despised his fault for your failed relationship

It isn't feel right and it isn't working

You can't see and look at him in the same way before, all you can see is....

It's deceitful, it's making you so angry but you will never show how hot-headed you are

Because, yet again, you loved him, no matter how you wanted to scratch his face out of madness

He is intimidated by your whole sense of nonchalant micro expressions but he knows behind that mask

You're upset

You know it yourself that you've done everything that you could ever give to him

You conclude in your own thoughts alone that you aren't enough for him

There might be sprinkle of insecurity that you wanted to brush it off but that's what you feel

You supported him, take care of him, you've been a good listener, you've been a loving girlfriend of his that in other people lenses

You're just an eye candy

Now, you understand what you've gotten those sympathetic eyes on you at school

Because this is all what comes down to....

You're just another girl that he got himself a jackpot to his prize

Just another trophy to his collection that he just....slept with you and he'll do it again after to the next girl that he got eyes targeted

Despite at how brutal that sounds

You will always love him

Back to Prom 1984

You can feel everyone's eyes on the both of you

You're dancing together at the center of the dance floor

They knew about you and Steve's relationship and the infidelity that he has done

They knew about the bond that is going to fall apart

Steve thought that the music is far from being too loud, he is getting overwhelmed by it, he wants to turn it off and leave the premises with you where he feels safe

Now, he is slipping off with your delicate fingers, the only sanctuary that he has ever given and he knows that he is fucking lucky to have you

He wished that the both of you could lose this crowd

"Let's go outside"

"N-No, S-Steve- No"

He ignores your protests and he tugs at your hand leading you out of the dance floor as he tries to scrape you off your feet and dragged you outside

The students starts whispering all around

He is surprised that you let him hold you

You let him intertwined your hands with his

He pushes you outside first slowly and he closes the door behind him, the music blurs out

You wrap your arms around yourself the night chilly air hits your delectable skin as the fairy lights from the streets makes you look glowy

He sadly sighs as he finally had the chance to look at you like this again

This is the only time that he saw what's in your eyes, god- is this what he trying to dodge? what is he thinking? all he wanted is to punch himself for cheating on you

All he can see the remnants of your undying love to him on your eyes but also mixed with a cloud of gloominess

He fucked up big time

He removes his coat as he tries to give it to you

"I don't want your coat" you step away as you sternly look at him

He ignores again, your remark as he places his coat around you

"What should I do to gain back your trust, please tell me" his hazel eyes pleads for you and your eyes burning from the tears forming

Your chest tightens, you don't want to have this conversation again

You know it'll ended up so raw and you feel exposed by your feelings and the worst case

The transparency of your emotions

The seconds as he awaits for your reply, the music from the gymnasium dies

You look at him that he doesn't ever wanted to see

It terrifies him horribly as he begins to cry in front of you as you did too

"Oh, god- please no" his voice starts breaking and your heart shattered at the sound of it

He knows exactly the meaning behind your melancholic eyes

It's all sad goodbyes

"Steve, maybe it's better this way" you say as you held his cheeks as he presses himself against it at the palm of your hands as he kisses it

"No, it's not-"

He knows that you aren't a fool to this any longer, he knows what's about to happen but he can't help but beg for you to not leave him

You rip your hand out of his cheeks as he already misses your touches

You hated how fast you feel powerless over him whenever you talked to him like this

You hated how easily that he can get to touch like nothing happened

But, not this time, not anymore

You're trusting your gut, you listen to your inner voice

"Steve! If we pick up where we left off, we'd just end up hurting ourselves and it will hurt a lot more of the things that we wanted to say to each other"

"Don't say it like that- I promise that'll be better, I'll prove it to you"

You slam your lips over his and he can't help but feel the same butterflies on his stomach that he once ignored, you kissed him like it was your last breath

There's a voice inside of his head that says he something is bad is about to happen

God, if he could only turn back the time and he'll make things right

"Don't let this get over with your head, I am giving you one last dance, one last touch and one last kiss"

"N-No, please- don't let go-"

"I'm saying that this is goodbye, Steve"

"W-We could've have been so good together, we could've have this dance forever"

You smile sadly, "I wish you thought about that before you crossed me" he watches you as you take off his coat from your shoulders

Your heels hits the pavement as it starts clicking as you walked away from him

He chases you as he hugged you from behind, you breakdown in tears again, he rests his head over your shoulder as he sniffled

"Please stay"

"You will always have my heart, you know it belongs to you ever since, Steve, and I'm always going to love you, but I have to go" you caressed his hand as you remove yourself from him as you take a look at him one last time

"I love you Steve Harrington, thank you for giving me how betrayal feels like" you humorlessly chuckle as he runs his hands over his face, he keeps shaking his head sideways

You kissed his cheek as he watches you with those tired eyes, of course, you can notice everything, the dark circles surrounding his eyes

He hasn't gotten any sleep like you do

He can't sleep properly because of you

His mind and his heart screams at you

He wants you back on his life, but now, he's alone again

He hates himself and he knows what he did is unforgivable and unforgettable

"I'll miss you, take care okay?" You choke in your own tears as you fixed his hair for the last time, the kind gesture that he always admired, he can't believe that this is the last time

He holds both of your shoulders "I can't never love again, I only want you"

Your heart cracks piece by piece to his words

The time is running out, you need to move

"If you really love me you have to let me go, Steve"

He begrudgingly loosens his hold on you as he watches you walking towards your car, his eyes are fixated on you and you know it

You badly wanted to look at him again, but you decided against it, you don't even wanna leave him like this but it had to be done

He cries standing all alone on that night

You cried while driving home as your knuckles turn white as you grip on the steering wheel

He knows for a fact that he will never gonna dance again

The way he danced with you

#Spotify #steve harrington #steve harrington supremacy #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x fem #george michael #careless whisper #1980s #agirlwholovesrockstarsfics

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moonchildstyles · 2 years

Note

ALSO for citrine!h something super soft would melt my heart. like maybe his girl suffers from really awful periods or something that are always super painful and exhausting and one month it just hits her so hard and h is just so caring and nurturing to her. 🥺❤️ he looks in all his books for special herb teas and different soups he can make to help her feel better and he lays in bed and rubs her tummy and her back when she has cramps STOP IM SO

could you write something with citrine and /or aster harry about the reader getting her period with him and not feeling well? love ur writing<3

wordcount: 11k+

—————

Harry felt his heart tingle, the lure attached to the organ trying to pull him away from his garden and down the side of his mountain to where the rest of his soul awaited. A bright smile bloomed across his features.

(Y/N) was almost here.

She had rang him on his sunflower a couple of hours prior, telling him she needed to take care of a couple of errands and pack for the night before she would be on her way over, and he'd been waiting in his garden since. The flowers all around him perked up just as their creator did, following the ray of sunshine he had become for them as he stretched his legs. The bell bottoms of his trousers flourished with every step he took towards the edge of his clearing, his heart roaring the closer and closer to his beloved he became.

Just as he was about to burst through the treeline, the carrier of his soul beat him to it, her own features set into a glowing smile.

"Hi, honey," she beamed at him, dropping her overnight bag into the lush grass at their feet. His already sore heart beat a broken tune at the sound of the petname he'd only ever heard wrapped in her voice.

She launched herself into his opened arms as soon she was free of the weight of her bag, the wind being knock out of Harry for just a moment as he stumbled back before recovering. He fiercely reciprocated her hold, keeping his sunshine close enough to his chest his heart didn't ache so much trying to get to its companion housed in (Y/N)'s chest.

"Sunshine," he sighed with matching relief. It'd only been thirty-six hours since he'd last been with her, and yet it felt like it could have been weeks with the way a newfound sense of comfort settled over him like nothing had before.

Seeing her like this would never get old.

He allowed her to pull away just enough to see her face, trace his eyes over her features in commemorative runs. He needed to know if anything changed since he'd seen her last, anything else for him to add to the collection of things like fluttering lashes and stray baby hairs that now made his heart race.

"How are you? How was class? Did your presentation go alright?" he prattled off as he raised his hands to cradle her cheeks in his warm palms. Her aura radiated around her in buttery yellows and sweetened pinks—his favorite combination on her.

"I'm good, it was good," she told him, her smile going soft as she seemingly did the same in taking in his aura, "I honestly don't remember much of it because I was so nervous, but I'm assuming it went well since I wasn't called in for office hours after."

Harry's face soured at the reminder of her professor who was much too harsh on his sunshine in his opinion. "Oh yeah, it was for that class, I forgot," he muttered, shaking his head, "He better leave y'alone, you're the smartest person in the world let alone his little classroom. Needs to be nicer to you."

The grin on (Y/N)'s face burst into an affectionate laugh at his serious tone. "It's alright, H, don't worry," she assured him, her looped arms squeezing around his middle, "I only have a couple more months of this semester, then I never have to see him again."

"And, you'll be on break with me," Harry added with a dreamy sigh. Though he wasn't one for the colder months, typically thriving under the sun of summer and sweet air of spring, there was nothing he loved more than spending (Y/N)'s breaks with her, even the winter one.

"Mhm," she hummed, a glint flaring in her gaze that matched the flash of chipper orange that ribboned through her aura at a second glance, "Unless, you're working, of course."

Bubbling excitement forged its way through Harry's system at her words. His hands fell to her shoulders, rings glinting in the bright sunlight overhead.

"Wait, did they—"

Before Harry could even finish his question, (Y/N) bounced in her spot, a beaming smile scrunching her eyes and creating parenthetical lines on either side of her mouth. "Yes, yes! They called today when I was in class, and, H, they loved you! They left a message and offered you the job, you just need to call them back!"

Gathering her into a hug, Harry barred his forearms around her shoulders as he rocked them in their spot. "Really? They loved me?" Harry bubbled off, his words traveling through the strands of her hair that fluttered around the home he made in her neck.

"They said they appreciated how much you knew about all the classics, and they could tell you really loved just being there with all the records. They said they really want you on their team, H." (Y/N)'s voice rattling off all the compliments supposedly shared by his new employers sounded sweeter and a more compelling offer than what he was sure awaited him on her tiny cell phone.

Harry basked in the feeling—the feeling of being in his beloved's arms, the feeling of taking another tiny step back into the world he rejected, and the feeling of being so loved in that moment he swore his heart was to burst. All he needed was Bonnie circling their feet and Dandelion bundling up between his ankles and it would be his idea of heaven.

"I'm so proud of you, Harry."

That just about melted him. Harry could only hug (Y/N) tighter.

"Thank you, sunshine. 'S all for you," he murmured, telling her the same thing he did when he told her he applied, got the call for an interview, and returned back from that first meeting. It was the truth, anyway. If not for her, he would still be hermitting away in his cottage, never having had a chance to feel so loved and needed like he did in that moment.

(Y/N) drew away, Harry barely allowing her the room before relenting his grip on her. Her eyes shone with pride, a matching, colorful aura haloing her form. "Kiss?"

He didn't even have to think before he was pressing his lips to hers, a garden growing in his chest at the contact. His arms around her form shifted until he was cradling the sides of her neck in his palms, thumb running along the line of her jaw in affectionate passes. Harry kissed her in small bursts of gentle presses, imprinting the feel of her lips against his own.

When (Y/N) made the move to draw away, Harry had to stop himself from chasing after her lips, a pout forming on his own before he saw the light in her eyes as she gazed up at him. She really was his own personal sunshine.

"Why don't you give them a call back, and I'll go put my stuff away and say hi to the girls?" (Y/N) proposed, Harry relenting to move his kissing to the soft of her cheek as she spoke.

"One more, one more, sunshine," he mumbled, already replacing his mouth over hers as soon as he got the plea out.

(Y/N) kissed him as best she could through her smile, keeping true to the promise of one more before she was pulling away and out of his embrace. She offered him her phone with a here!, sure he would finagle some sort of spell to cast around the device if he didn't immediately get what she called "service" up here. (Harry wasn't sure exactly what service was, but he knew that the set of bars up top needed to be filled in if he wanted to do anything other than take photos).

His hands were jittery as he navigated her cell phone, finding the voicemail that was left for him. (Y/N) had been right, they seemed to really like him and Harry was all but bouncing in his boots as he placed a charm on her device that allowed him the "service" to redial the phone number and connect with the shop.

When he heard the cheery greeting on the other end of the phone, the voice of someone who would now be his coworker, Harry brightened with excitement. That would be him soon, answering the phone so he could bestow his knowledge on all things music on whoever was on the other end. With his ear trained towards (Y/N), keeping some of his attention on her as she went about his cottage, Harry bubbled through the phone calls.

Just as he had hoped, his new employers were excited to hear back from him and it only took a few moments to get everything set up. He was now an official member of the Record Scratch Music Store, a boutique that specialized in all things music with the largest selection of records Harry had ever seen in one place. Plus, it was a part of the same plaza that (Y/N) worked at.

As soon as he had his first day set up for the following week, Harry couldn't wait to find (Y/N) again and celebrate for a second time that afternoon. He couldn't help himself, he was so excited and proud of himself for those baby steps he was taking to become an even better beloved for her.

He moved on quick feet towards the cottage, expecting to see (Y/N) sprawled out on his bed with Bonnie loving on her at her feet and Dandelion huddled in her lap. Instead, he found Bonnie still laid out on the porch, head resting on her paws, with Dande munching away at the mushrooms that were growing along the edge of the stoop. A furrow pinched at his brow as the heels of his boots clicked over the wooden deck of his porch, the view through the screen door revealing that she wasn't even lying on his bed or pattering through his kitchen.

"(Y/N)?" he called as he stepped over the threshold, almost tripping over her overnight bag that had been dropped by the door.

The bond wrapped around his heart urged him in the direction of the bathroom, the door shut tightly though light seeped out from underneath. "Just a second, Harry," (Y/N) answered back, voice sounding tight.

Though worry gripped at his middle, Harry sunk down on the edge of his bed and waited patiently.

She wasn't sick, was she? No, Harry decided, he would have been able to tell by her aura if she was feeling ill. Right? Maybe she was changing into some comfy clothes for the sleepover they were having? But, then again, she usually didn't bother with locking herself away behind the bathroom door in those moments, much too comfortable with the fact Harry has seen and loved all of her to worry about redressing out of his view. Why would she be hiding from him, then?

It wasn't until (Y/N) was brought into his life that Harry realized he was a bit of a worry wart. Nothing could spring his anxiety the way she could with the way he was overly concerned with ensuring every bit of her comfort and happiness was protected. Those worries were usually very easily quelled with a look at her aura, golden tinges shining through that showed him that she was being truthful when she said she was fine and happy. But, until that moment came, his heart that had been waiting for her for decades didn't settle, urging Harry to find a solution to any and every scenario that ran through his head.

That was how he found himself sitting with a bouncing leg, eyes trained on the bathroom door in wait. When (Y/N) finally emerged, she had redressed into a pair of his worn sweats, the waist and legs cuffed the same way he had to after years of wear stretching out the elastic. She didn't seem any different, hair still fluttering like a dream around her, skin glowing under his gaze, and toes still painted the buttery yellow he had done for her last week on their self-care night at her apartment.

"Everything alright, (Y/N)?" Harry asked, rising from his spot on the bed, arms reaching out to retrieve her as she dropped her discarded clothes on the top of her overnight bag.

"Mhm," she hummed with a nod of her head, "Why?"

He noted the way she wouldn't let him get a peek at her eyes, and subsequently her aura, as she instead bundled into his arms. She pressed her cheek snugly against his chest, arms looped around his middle. Though he was happy to have her back in his arms, bundled in his clothes, Harry pouted as he looked down at her, worried.

Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, Harry spoke through the stands of hair on the crown of her head, "You jus' seem sad all of the sudden. Did something happen?"

A beat passed before (Y/N) muttered a response, "I'm not sad or anything, H, don't worry."

"(Y/N)," he pouted into her hair, her name coming out on a whine, "You're making me worried, sunshine."

Harry paid close attention to the way she hesitated, the way she shifted in his arms as if her thoughts were uncomfortable to keep inside.

"Its... It's kind of... gross, H," she murmured, voice quiet.

A pinch pulled Harry's brows together in a furrow as he listened to her. "What do you mean?"

She sighed, but didn't offer any kind of elaboration. Harry's worry never lessened as he waited for her to form a response, only being a solid pillar for her cling and snuggle up to while she worked up to whatever she apparently feared sharing with him. Gently stroking his fingers up and down her back, he waited oh-so-patiently—just like he did during those decades he hadn't even known he was waiting to meet her.

Finally—finally!—, (Y/N) spared him and settled her chin on his chest, allowing him to get a look at her aura once he met her gaze. An unflattering shade of yellow streamed around her form with a melancholic bruise of a blue shade running like spokes through the halo. She was embarrassed and sad, the anxiety she expressed surely going hand-in-hand with the colors tinting her aura.

"What is it, sunshine?" he murmured, bringing one of his hands up to brush over her cheek.

Scanning over her features, Harry couldn't bite back the smile that curled the corners of his lips and brought out just the beginnings of his dimples. She was the most gorgeous girl he'd ever seen, even when she was holding a secret.

"It's just..." she sighed, cutting herself off with a roll of her eyes, "Oh my god, I don't know why I'm so embarrassed. It's not even a big deal."

Harry didn't push her as she thought aloud, only watching and taking it in as he brushed the pad of his thumb soothingly along the height of her cheekbone. He didn't take his eyes off her, making note of every eyelash, every pore, and every strand that made up his Flame.

Because of that, it was impossible for him to miss the way her spine stiffened up before it seemed the air was pulled from her lungs. For a beat, her features were molded with creases as she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to force a stunted breath through her mouth. Her arms were tight around his middle, hands squeezed into fists behind his back with the fabric of his shirt getting bunched up in the grip. Just before her eyes closed, Harry caught a glimpse of a burning red searing through her aura before it flickered out.

She was in pain.

Before Harry had the mind to react—a healing spell on the tip of his tongue, but too muddled to be strung together through his heart-pounding fear—, (Y/N) settled. Her body relaxed, exhaustion seemingly dragging her down while Harry held her tightly. Her features unfurled, the creases and wrinkles of pain disappearing before she was left with serenely closed eyes and a deep breath being sucked in through her lips.

"(Y/N)?" Harry murmured, worried out of his mind right then that she hadn't told him something important and now she was suffering body-aching side effects.

"Sorry, sorry," she shook her head, hair fluttering around her face as she blinked her eyes open, "I'm okay, it was just a really bad cramp, that's all." He could see her gearing up to tell him something else, one more thing, before she hesitated. That unflattering yellow shimmered around her form. In a last ditch effort, he watched as she shuttered her eyes with a grumpy furrow to her brows before she spoke, "I started my period last night, and it's not even a big deal, I'm just having really bad cramps this time and I'm scared I'm going to bleed on your sheets tonight on accident."

Harry listened to her rushed words, his brows pinched. He held her steady with his palms warming her cheeks, though he could argue that the hold was to anchor him more than anything. It made him ache hearing that she was so upset over something so simple, and the feeling was put on blast the second she explained the searing pain that had shot through her as cramps.

"Sunshine," he sighed, the call of her petname puffing between the two of them. It was then that (Y/N) blinked her eyes open, already looking more exhausted than she had just a moment ago. "Are they always like this? Painful?" he prodded. He would hate to find out that this wasn't the first time she'd visited him while on her period and hid the symptoms.

"No, not always," she murmured, looking up at him, "Its only every once in a while that my cramps get really bad like this. I usually just try to stay home if they are, but I really wanted to see you this weekend."

A heavy sigh worked its way out of Harry's lungs as he looked down at his heart's face cradled in his hands. Streaks of gold tinted her aura, honesty shining through, with an uncomfortable orange biting at the edges that showed him she still wasn't quite settled after the last string of cramps that rattled her body. Even her hold on him seemed shaky, as if it was taking every bit of her strength to keep her arms looped around him after exhaustion seeped into her muscles.

"C'mere," he beckoned her, making a slow trail of his hands down her form until he was unraveling her knotted fingers from where they were placed behind his back and lacing them between his own.

(Y/N) pliantly allowed him to guide her to the edge of his bed. He sat her down gently on the mattress before he crouched between her legs, knees hitting the wood floor of his cottage with his heels propped up under his bottom. Harry looked up at her with his hands warming her thighs, eyes matching her own so he could gauge her aura.

Even without the colors radiating from her form, the creases lining her features, bags under her eyes, and the declining slope of her shoulders told him all he needed to know about how the last twenty-four hours hadgone for her.

"Y'look so tired, dove. Why haven't y'told me sooner about this?" Harry pressed, his fingertips denting into the soft flesh of her thighs, borrowed sweatpants giving way under his grip.

Dropping her gaze to his hands on her thighs, (Y/N) let out a bubble of laughter though the sound didn't give any light to her eyes like normal. "I thought you were always supposed to think I'm pretty; isn't that what soulmates are for?"

"No, sunshine, you know I don't mean it like that. Always, always, always so beautiful; breaks my heart to see you sometimes, it feels so full," Harry rambled, immediately reassuring her with the truth on instinct. He even leaned up and into her, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "All I meant," he continued, "was that y'don't look as happy as y'usually do. Don't like seeing y'sad."

A quiet shrug rocked (Y/N)'s shoulders. "I couldn't sleep well last night—I didn't feel good. And I woke up way too early today, but as soon as the cramps started I wasn't able to go back to sleep so I've just been waiting to come over."

A pout pushed at Harry's lips, "I wish y'had told me over the sunflow—"

"But it's embarrassing, H."

"I don't see how it's embarrassing at all, sunshine, really. 'S natural." Harry didn't allow his gaze to stray from hers at all, wanting to make sure she knew that what he was saying was gospel as far as he was concerned. "Growing up with m'sister and mum, and all the women in our coven, 's not like I've never been around this. It was never anything any of them were ashamed of, either. The moon was gifting them with their connection to our Earth, in a way that only someone like you and m'family could handle. Stars know, I could never be as brave as you are to go through this every month, and yet here you are. 'S nothing y'need to be ashamed of or embarrassed about—especially around me, my love."

Her features softened as she listened to him, her glowing aura growing gentle along with her. Baby pinks and soothed greens made their appearance around her form.

"I didn't think about it like that," (Y/N) mumbled, peeking through her lashes to match his gaze, "I don't know why I was worried you would be weird about it, I'm sorry."

His smile bloomed over his mouth and stretched his cheeks as he ran his palms in a soothing circuit along her thighs. "Dovie, I've been around way too long to grossed out about something like this. You've got nothing to worry about." Harry stood to the full of his height between her legs, boots settling on the wood grain of his floor. "Now, c'mere," he beckoned to her, arms opening up wide, "Gotta hug me properly now after that."

(Y/N) rose to her feet with a smile so airy and relaxed Harry felt his heart bloat. He liked knowing that he could be one of the reasons that she released that tension that had followed her out of the bathroom. Just as promised, she wrapped her arms around his middle in an affectionate hug, hands slipping under the hem of his shirt and splaying across the small of his back in the skin-to-skin contact they always craved after spending time apart. Harry felt his own muscles practically liquify at the feeling, her nails skimming his skin in a gentle brush that he recognized as her.

Stooping down just enough, Harry was able to comfortably cuddle her against his body with his arms barred around her shoulders and his face in her hair. A gentle smattering of kisses was placed at the crown of her head, the garden outside the window growing in mirroring plots. Breathing came easier when she was in his arms.

Settling his cheek on the top of her head, Harry allowed his eyes to flutter to a close. As much as he loved having her cuddled up like this—flush against his body as their chests swayed in tandem as they breathed—he couldn't get the look of her exhausted gaze out of his mind.

Though he tried to maintain as much contact as he could, Harry slipped his arms from around her, taking a careful step back before he grabbed for her hands to tangle his fingers through. "Cuddle?" he asked her, looking down at his Fated, their matching polished fingers bundled between them.

A light returned to her irises at his line of question, nodding her head with the edges of her mouth turning up into a quirked smile. It was Harry's pleasure guiding her onto his creaking mattress, the fluffiest of his pillows being used to cushion her head before Harry followed through on his proposition.

The air was a little too warm to call for the need of the quilt stretched over his mattress, but that didn't deter Harry from becoming his own version of a human duvet with a heavy arm falling across (Y/N)'s waist. The span of his palm was splayed across the small of her back as he pulled her close to his chest. It was her that tucked her face under his chin, nose nudging the dip in his collarbones just before she hooked her ankle around his own and tangled their legs.

Fisting his shirt in her grip, (Y/N) relaxed into the cradle of his hold, Harry watching as she finally seemed to relax in what appeared to be for the first time in the last twenty-four hours if she'd been experiencing those cramps all night long. He kept his hold on her steady as he felt her energy level out, her body being lulled into what he would charm into being a restful sleep.

Just as he felt the blink of her aura beginning to soothe itself out while she slept, (Y/N) flared awake with a tense in her back and her breath being stolen. Instinctively, she moved as if intending to curl in on herself if Harry hadn't been there to block her movements.

"Oh, sunshine," he crooned, the words being lost in the strands of hair on the top of her head as he held her that much tighter.

His hand on her back worked a soothing circuit along her spine, willing all of the comforting energy he could muster without a true incantation into his hand so he could push away some of pain coursing through her system. A furrow pinched his brow as the ache lingered in her bones, not quite releasing her just yet. What he wouldn't give to take this pain from her; he'd bear the burden of the cramps and exhaustion himself if he knew she wouldn't have to experience the hardest parts of this gift every month.

Harry knew the worst of it was over for the moment when she sunk deeply into the mattress under them, her body somehow feeling heavier after that moment, her nose nudging against his collarbones as she let out a heavy breath.

"If I could," he murmured to her, lips pressing against the crown of her head, "I would take all this away. Hate seeing y'in so much pain."

"I know you would, H," she whispered, voice as heavy as her muscles, "And if you ever figure out how, I won't stop you."

That brought a smile to his face at her tiny joke. It would be his lifelong mission if it came to that—finding some kind of mystical cure to what she was enduring.

Harry didn't stop his hand from the running circuit on her back as she settled into a hopefully more successful attempt at sleeping. He stayed that way even when he felt her energy lull into a true rest. A murmured spell into her hairline ensured she would only experience comforting, happy dreams for as long as she slept with another incantation following after that would keep her resting until most of her exhaustion finally fled from her system.

Watching over her head, the shadows around his cottage shifted and changed as the sun traced its path in the sky. Never once did Harry dare to move from the cocoon he made around his lover's body. Even when (Y/N) rolled around in his hold, pillow fluffing under her head and duvet mussing around her form, he stayed just where he was when she settled with her back clumsily pressed against his chest. Now his hand laid gentle over her stomach, the soothing energy he could manifest into his palm now working on the knot that lingered and tightened with every ache that wracked through her system.

He only bothered with a wave of his hand when Bonnie began to whine at the screen door to be let in followed by Dande hopping behind her. His girls had grown to love (Y/N), too, so he wasn't surprised to see Bonnie nose at her arm that hung over the edge of the bed, licking at her palm just once before his lion settled into a roll on the floor, eyes on the front door as she played guard for the night. Dande took quiet steps over the creaking mattress, her budding nose puffing as she sniffed over Harry's hand on (Y/N)'s tummy, her ears twitching. Peaking over (Y/N)'s form, Dandelion gave him a look that only his intuitive bunny could manage, as if she was well aware of what was going on and was worried like Harry. He watched with a small smile as Dande made herself into a ball that conformed with the shape of (Y/N)'s sleeping body, padding herself against the ache in (Y/N)'s tummy like she knew.

Having all of his girls together—both of his pets even taking on a portion of helping ease (Y/N)—made Harry's heart feel so full he feared it would steal his breath. If his Flame hadn't been feeling so down in the dumps today, he would think of this as the most perfect moment, the kind that he didn't even know he had been yearning for all those years alone.

But, knowing (Y/N) was alright now, soothed enough that she could fall into a deep sleep, he felt himself being drawn into the dreamland she was currently visiting. With Dandelion standing guard at (Y/N)'s tummy and Bonnie being the protector of the front door, he figured he could take a moment and nap with his Flame.

Hopefully, he would find her even in his dreams.

—————

It was Dande that cut his nap short as she plodded over the pillows until she was puffing her nose in Harry's face and nudging him awake. He fluttered his eyes open to the still waning sun, long shadows dancing around his cottage with (Y/N) still protected against his chest just as she had been when he fell asleep. Bonnie was a steady presence that he could just barely see over the edge of the bed, not having moved much from when he had last had his eyes opened.

Dandelion was the only one to have moved, looking down at him from where she stood on his pillows. "What's wrong?" he murmured to her, voice deep and dredged in sleep.

His bunny only shuffled her feet on the cushion, ears twitching. Her puffing nose never relented, dark gaze still attached to Harry as if he should have already read her mind.

"Is there anything wrong, or did y'jus' miss me?" Harry pressed. He wouldn't be surprised to find out she was only missing the attention he gave her, and woke him up because of it.

Instead of the humph he was expecting from her, she gave a gentle thump with her back foot to the pillow under his head. If she had brows he knew they would be downturned to match grumpy attitude she was giving him.

"Dandelion," he sighed, tightening his hold on (Y/N), "If you're grumpy that we're napping, 'm sorry, but I can let y'outside if y'want. (Y/N) needs her sleep, honey, we need to let her."

The little bunny didn't move from her grumped perch, only shuffling her paws. Harry was just about to shoo her away, urge her to cuddle up against (Y/N) again or conjure up something fun for her to play with outside if she was so bored, until she let out that huff he'd been waiting for before leaning down and nibbling at a stray curl of his splayed over the pillow.

A gentle tug was felt at his scalp as she pulled on the strands, just enough to get Harry's attention. The pieces clicked together then, her grumpy attitude making complete sense.

"You're hungry?" he asked her, his voice coming out on a laugh, "Is that what you're all upset about, Dande? Could've told me, I can put something together for you, ju—"

Before he could finish his offer, Dandelion stopped nibbling at his hair and instead rubbed her face over the top of (Y/N)'s head, her cheek smushing against the crown. Harry watched her for a second, trying to piece together this second set of information.

"Do y'want (Y/N) to make you f—No? That's not it?" If bunnies could roll their eyes, Harry knew Dandelion wouldn't hesitate to spare his feelings. It was when she gave a short nibble to the pillowcase before twitching her ears in (Y/N)'s direction that Harry (hopefully) caught onto what Dande was trying to tell him. "(Y/N)'s hungry?"

The little perk up in Dandelion's posture told him all he needed to know, even if he swore her eyes were telling him Duh!

"Thank y'for telling me, honey," he cooed to her, reaching his free hand out from under his head and gentle patting between his bunny's ears.

He didn't doubt her intuition, his Dandelion. More often than not, she was smarter than him anyway, so he didn't bother to grill her on how exactly she knew (Y/N) was hungry and that Harry needed to know immediately so he could fix that. He only gave her a lingering brush of his fingers between her perked ears that made her eyes blink to a slow close before he made careful work of removing himself from the bed.

Harry gently unwrapped himself from around his Flame in a careful extraction, ensuring she wasn't jostled too much and stayed content in her sleep. Dandelion made her place against (Y/N)'s side, keeping her company again now that Harry knew how dire the situation was.

Bonnie barely lifted her head from where it rested on her paws as Harry stepped over the floorboards, a grin blooming on his face that could rival the sunflowers growing along the shingles of his roof. Bathed in the buttered sunlight, the most important facets of Harry's life were threaded together on his bed. Dandelion was now happily sprawled out in comfort, feet kicked out beside (Y/N) with Bonnie being the perfect roll by the bed, the sleepiest protector. (Y/N) was still the vision of serenity as his charms were taking perfect care of her, letting his heart rest and dream perfect dreams.

He couldn't help himself before he clicked his fingers, his gifted polaroid—arguably his most valuable and favorite possession along with his record player and vinyl collection—was summoned to him. The yellow camera was heavy in his hands as he brought the viewfinder to his eye, the vision in front of him now warped. The click and shutter of the camera going off was the only sound to fill the room before the film was printing from the slot at the front. Harry was quick to grab for it, clicking his camera back to its safe spot in his closet with a snap of his fingers.

The photo developed slowly, though Harry's grin didn't waver as he waited. Once it came all together, he was granted with the perfect vision of what lie before him, frozen in time and his to keep for the rest of his existence. The lens had perfectly picked up on the slight gap to (Y/N)'s lips, short puffs of air falling from between them as she dreamt her sweetened dreams. Baby hairs were pasted to her temples, the strands kissing at the frame of her face the way he loved to do. The whole vision was bathed in golden tones, the perfect glimmering light that caught the high points of her face and pinged off the tips of her bare lashes as she slept with her cheek smushed into his pillow. Around her were the woodland guardians that made up the rest of Harry's small family. Bonnie emulated a warm cinnamon roll perched on the floor, slacking on her guard lion duties as she slept the afternoon away, with Dandelion a puff of white fur cuddling into (Y/N)'s tummy with a puffing nose and twitchy ears.

Harry's heart swelled as he took in every detail. With a brush of his fingertips along the edge of the film, the photo was brought to life. The golden light filtering through the window now gleamed in sunspots over (Y/N)'s hair and sparkled as it hit the highpoints of her face. The shadows shifted as the flowers outside gently swayed in the summer breeze. It was perfect—the perfect dream that would come to Harry's mind if he had been charmed into having the most pleasant of dreams.

Padding across the floor, being mindful of the creakiest of his floorboards, Harry made his way to the wall facing his bed. Along the wall was shimmering vines that grew in celebration of the love he held for his Flame, flowers twinkling with points of light dotted across the flora. In the gaps of the growth was all the photos he had pinned to his wall, moments with (Y/N) or his pets, shots of his garden and the moon that he never wanted to forget. Each frame displayed that moment in time on repeat—(Y/N) twirling in the meadow outside his cottage, Dandelion trying to shove her namesake plant in her mouth, Bonnie circling his feet with a whipping tail. This new photo found its place just beside a picture of (Y/N) making a kissy face at him through the lens, the frame showing off the way she laughed after making the pose.

A broad grin made its way onto his face, dimples deep in his cheeks, smile lines creasing his face, as he trailed his gaze along the wall. Wasn't he a lucky, lucky man?

Casting a short glance over his shoulder, he found (Y/N) still cuddled into his bed, serenely sleeping away the exhaustion that tainted her features. Dande was happily snuggled against her mom's tummy, though that didn't stop her from throwing side-eyes in Harry's direction. He knew that if she could talk, she would no doubt be hounding him for taking too long on following through her what she told him. She's still hungry, you know, he could picture her prattling off, Just because you took a picture of us doesn't mean you can get distracted.

The attitude of that little thing. He had a plan, no reason to worry. (Y/N) was going to be well taken care of, no doubt.

Harry allowed one last lingering glance across his wall of art, before he was silently stepping away. He needed to find his spell book, see if there was anything in there that could help ease the discomfort of (Y/N)'s cramps and hopefully gently help her through the next week. The spell he had in mind before, the incantation that instinctively came to the forefront of his mind the first second he saw her tense and in pain wouldn't be much help as she didn't have any physical wounds to heal. He needed something that would soothe her internally.

Reaching under his bed with a careful pet to Bonnie's head, he found his large, leather bound spell book. Inside held every word that guided him through his life as a witch. His most favorite chapters were clearly marked with the worn corners and edges of the paper, those pages surely detailing out any romantic spellwork that could be performed between a witch and their Flame. Though he instinctively gravitated towards those pages, he stopped himself before he could become distracted with the looping handwriting of an ancestor he'd never met, but had the same privilege as he in meeting their soulmate.

Instead, he followed the fading index at the front of the book, looking for healing and soothing spells and rituals. The chapter glossary directed him to "Spells needed during a Blood Moon Cycle" (which is very different from spells that are used during a Blood Moon, as many witches have made the mistake and come up with very differing results). Inside were spells he remembered his sister vaguely using, or the many other witches in his coven as he grew up, though he never felt the need to memorize them.

Harry flipped through the pages, scanning over the results while he waited for the perfectly right spell to pop up. Short rituals to help with mood swings? No, she doesn't need that he didn't think. A spell to ward off the cycle all together? A little too late for that it seemed. A salve to help heal hormonal breakouts? Glancing at (Y/N)'s glowing skin, Harry figured he wouldn't need to worry about that one, especially if she didn't ask for it first.

Potions to help with cramps? Perfect!

Harry thumbed to the page, taking in the first slew of ingredients. Reading it over, this particular potion seemed a little too ancient to execute, especially with the use of a Harper's Nest being called for. (No Harpers had been seen in centuries, let alone any remaining nests on Earth). Flicking to the backside of the same page, he found a much more familiar recipe.

Reading it over, Harry pinged where the ingredients were in his head, a map forming of all the places he would need to slip off to before (Y/N) woke. He wanted to have it warm and ready for her the second she woke up, the tea-like potion something for her to sip on while he made dinner. That was how he found himself pressing a gentle kiss to (Y/N)'s forehead before trying his best to avoid the creaky floorboards of his cottage as he made his way outside.

The recipe he had stowed away in his brain directed him to his garden first, finding the short stalks of chamomile flowers that started popping up once he added daisies to his plots. Muttering a quiet thank you to his plants, he tugged out a grouping of the flowers, a tiny bouquet forming in his hands of the white flowers. Digging through the rest of his garden, he pulled some nettle leaves carefully from the bunch, ensuring he didn't accidentally sting himself with the pointed greens.

With his growing potion in hand, Harry left the meadow of his home with a quick glance behind him to ensure (Y/N) was still safe and sound asleep. He didn't love leaving her alone, but he needed to grab this one last ingredient then he could once again join her. Scavenging around the area past the tree line, Harry found the bushel he was looking for just past one of the bigger trees that helped hide the view to his clearing.

Instead of a tall, limbering tree like most cherry plants, Harry searched the ground for a small bush staying close to the strongest roots of the large tree. Underneath all of the low hanging greens were pert little cherries. The bright red hue stuck out starkly against the green of their leaves and the dirt path they bordered. Plucking off a few pairs of the fruits, Harry grinned when he saw just what he had been looking for.

These cherries had abandoned the regular rounded shape of their cousins long ago, instead following the pattern of the sky and molding their flesh into the shape of the stars above them. Since they grew so low to the ground, the only way to reach the kind of light needed to grow, was from the twinkling stars that peeked through the brush. The starlight gave the fruits their own special properties, especially as they became so in sync with the moon cycle, making it perfect for what Harry was hoping to do with his potion.

Harry made quick work of navigating through the trees, finding his way back to his heart. (Y/N) was sound asleep still as he crossed the threshold, Bonnie being the only one to acknowledge his presence as she lifted her head from where it rested on her paws with half hooded eyes.

Feeling the energy of his little family behind him, Harry happily got to work in the kitchen. His mortar and pestle were the first stop in making his tea, the chamomile flowers and nettles going in first before he began to grind them together. The petals of the flowers fell apart and mixed with the green leaves, leaving streaks of yellow from the center and fragrant punches of their floral aroma to linger in the air. A quick flick of his fingers allowed for the paste to begin drying, becoming crumbly and perfect for the teabags he was to scoop them in. As he allowed the process to take place, next was steeping of the cherries on the stove to make the perfect tart base for her tea, the cherries hopefully covering up the bitter nettle taste. The starlight berries floated in the slowly boiling water on the stove, tinting everything pink as the color seeped from the flesh and allowing dews of starlight to trickle through.

Stirring through the beginnings of the tea, Harry watched in awe of the stars twinkling through, creating vortexes with a spin of his spoon. If he looked close enough, he'd bet there were galaxies forming in the pot.

A delicate sigh sounded from behind him before the springs of his mattress creaked under movement. Peeking over his shoulder, he found (Y/N) adjusting herself in her sleep, though he could tell from he beat of her energy she wouldn't be sleeping for too much longer. The sun had made its way down low to the horizon, taking them farther from the lunchtime she had missed and closer to dinner where he planned on taking care of her before entertaining her until she found sleep once more.

With her tea warming and the paste that would fill the teabags drying under an imaginary sun, Harry got to work on the dinner he was set to make for her. She always loved the soups he made for her, just behind the fresh pastries he was trying his hand at after becoming obsessed with a bakery in town. But, he figured he didn't really have enough time to make the perfectly layered and flaky croissant right now, so soup it was.

With a pot warming up stock on the stove next to her simmering tea (the stars had become so plentiful that the dark liquid was beginning to shimmer like the night sky), the sound of Harry chopping vegetables and portioning out the ingredients filled the room. If not for (Y/N)'s sleeping, he would have flicked his record player on, Elton John being on tonight's turntable. Instead, he kept his focus on the moving parts going on in his kitchen.

Wild rice, potatoes, peas, and yogurt were the first editions to his soup, letting everything soften and warm while he took care of the final steps of (Y/N)'s tea. With a wave of his fingers, tiny, cloth teabags were summoned to his workstation. As he spooned the chamomile and nettle mixture into the bags, Harry flicked his gaze to the windowsill in front of him, a handful of his crystals having been charging in the day's sun. Spotting the small shard of amethyst that shown a velvety purple in the darkening sky beside the cluster of celestite that matched the baby blue tones of morning sunshine, Harry deviated from the original spell for just a moment. Plucking the pair of crystals, Harry added them to what would be (Y/N)'s serving of the tea, allowing their healing properties to seep into the cherry sweet base of her drink.

Setting a pair of mugs aside, Harry spooned the cherry drink into the ceramic first, (Y/N)'s carefully taken care of in a special cow printed mug she loved drinking out of when she came over. Her teabag was left to steep inside while Harry's was pushed off to the side in wait of whenever (Y/N) was ready and awake. With a flick of his wrist and a short spell muttered under his breath, the helpings of tea were charmed to stay warm in their mugs no matter how much time passed. His focus shifted to the now warmed soup, the bit of magic he cast that helped in the process of softening the vegetables and cooking the rice brought them to just the perfect temperature as he whisked his spoon through the creamy mixture.

While bubbles simmered to the surface, Harry distracted himself with the herb garden he had growing just along the sill of his glassless window. As he plucked at the bunches of sage and thyme, Harry almost missed the sound of the bed creaking, a pulse in (Y/N)'s energy signaling she was awake. Dropping the seasonings to the counter, a bright grin took over Harry's features.

Turning on his heel, his heart beat just a bit faster as he took in the way her messy hair was fluffed around her face as she knuckled at her eye. A slight furrow pinched at her brow as she sat up, Dandelion none too happy with the change in position though it only took her a moment to take advantage of the warm spot (Y/N) left behind.

"Hi, sunshine," he sighed, voice soft as he rounded the peninsula counter of his kitchen to be closer to his love.

"Hi," she muttered, voice giving away just how groggy she was with a grumble to her tone.

"How'd y'sleep, dove?" Harry asked, shuffling to crouch in front of where she sat on the edge of his bed. Gentle hands landed on the thick of her thighs, palms warming her skin through the fabric of her borrowed sweats.

Her hooded eyes blinked slowly at him as she ran a hand through her hair. "Good—way better than last night," she murmured, a smile tugging at her sleep-dredged features, "Did you put a spell on me or something? Because I even had those good dreams of you and I."

That would never get old, Harry decided; every time he put a sweet dream charm on her, she always shared that those dreams typically consisted of the two of them, lounging or kissing or whatever els her mind conjured up to make her sleep sweet.

"Maybe," Harry mused, a quiet shrug of his shoulders being the only answer she needed, "Dande told me y'were hungry, is that true?"

(Y/N) gazed down at him with a pinch in her brow at the mention of the bunny's name. "How did she know that?"

"I don't know, love," Harry started, flicking his gaze to the sleeping rabbit behind her, "She knows things that I don't think I'll ever understand. I stopped questioning her a long time ago."

He could see the way (Y/N) accepted the answer, just as she did when he exposed himself as a witch. There wasn't much else that could shock someone, even an intuitive bunny rabbit that somehow knew about their owner's eating habits. "I mean, in my dream you were making me breakfast for a while, so maybe she picked up on that. Are you making dinner?"

A bubbling nod caused Harry's curls to flop over his forehead. "Mhm," he hummed, "I've got some soup going, and I made y'some tea that's supposed to help with your tummy, if y'wanted to try it."

Harry's pride only expanded as he watched her perk up at the mention of tonight's menu. "What kind of tea is it?"

Delivering one last squeeze to the mid of her thigh, he stood to the full of his height between her legs with a broad smile on his face. "It was something m'sister used to make when she wasn't feeling well during her Moon Cycle," he explained to her as he moved to the kitchen, her special cow printed mug warming his hands as he took it to her.

The tea shimmered in his hold, the teabag having sunk to the bottom of the mixture leaving the starry liquid to shine under the waning sunlight. (Y/N) awed when she saw the glimmering light coming from her mug, her careful fingers wrapping around the ceramic, grazing over Harry's hand as he passed it off.

"How did you get stars in here?" she asked, voice hushed as if afraid to disturb the vision in her cup.

"There's this kind of cherry that only grows under starlight, and whenever it's used like this, stars spill right out of it. I thought y'would like it," he told her, sitting beside her on the edge of his bed as he awaited her reaction to the first sip.

With the mug nestled in her hands, (Y/N) carefully brought it to her mouth for a taste, eyes brightening as soon as the first splash hit her tongue. Two more large gulps later, a broad grin covered Harry's features. She liked it.

"Harry," she bubbled, starlight glimmering on the pillow of her bottom lip before her tongue peeked out to swipe it away, "this is so good! Try some!"

Harry could have melted away as he watched her offer him her mug, the tea that he has specially crafted to aid her cramps swirling in the cup. "I've got m'own waiting over there, but thank you, sunshine. I want y'to drink the whole thing before we have dinner, alright?" His words came out as a clear direction as he left her to finished her mug on his bed, his soup and bundled herbs calling to him before they burned. "M'book says two servings should cure you of your cramps until the end of the Moon Cycle."

At the mention of dinner, Harry saw (Y/N)'s features brighten further. It was nice seeing her come back to herself after the scare she gave him. "What soup are you making?"

Her eyes followed him into the kitchen, gaze dropping to his hands as he worked on the sage leaves and sprigs of thyme he was working into the soup. "Your favorite," he told her with a smile over his shoulder.

She practically bounced on the edge of the mattress, the springs creaking. "The rice one? With the peas and everything?

"That's the one," he told her, dropping the herbs and various seasonings he had portioned out into the simmering pot.

"Oh, Harry," she crooned, the pout he was sure she had on her face evident in her voice, "You didn't have to do all this."

Harry was quick to shoo off her remark with a wave of his hand, his attention directed on the stirring of the soup. "I don't have to do anything, sunshine, but I want to do this for you. Tears me up inside to see y'so upset and in pain over something that shouldn't be a punishment. I jus' want to make y'happier, love, that's all 'm trying to do."

When he didn't hear any response for a moment, a pinch quirked Harry's brows. He hoped he hadn't made her upset; if she really didn't want him to do all of this for her, she only needed to tell him and he'd back off. Looking over his shoulder, he ended up finding her with a pair of watery eyes and a pout of her lips.

"I love you," she peeped out between her puffed lips, the sentiment small as it hung in the air between them.

"Sunshine," Harry sighed, abandoning his soup in favorite of catering to his flame, "C'mere." He beckoned to her with arms opened wide as he rounded the kitchen counter. (Y/N) was quick to move into his arms, her own looping around his middle with her face tucked against his chest.

Burying his nose into her hair, Harry carefully ran his hands in a circuit along her back, soothing circles burrowing under her skin and relaxing her system. He cradled her against his chest as he cooed to her, reciprocating her sentiment of love and calming her from the tears that threatened to lead over her waterline. Her breathing came in watery puffs against his chest, the warm air leaking through his top and caressing his skin. He paid close attention to the pacing of her exhales, ensuring that she was feeling less on edge by the time he pulled back from her. Maybe, he would have to revisit the ritual he saw earlier for mood swings.

"Feeling a little teary today, too?" he asked her, voice a quiet croon between just the two of them.

"Yeah, I guess so," (Y/N) breathed out a laugh against his chest, "Its not usually this bad though. You're just being too sweet, it caught me off guard."

A gentle kiss was pressed to the top of her head, the strands of her hair brushing against his nose and tickling his cheeks. "I didn't mean to make y'cry, sunshine—jus' love y'so much, that's all."

"I know," she sighed. Her arms around his middle tightened as she spoke the words that without fail made him feel like he was joining the moon and becoming a star with only the purpose of floating through the sky and shining bright for all to see: "I love you, too, Harry. Best thing that ever happened to me."

A smile bloomed across his features as he buried his face in her hair. His eyes fluttered to a contented close as he took in the moment, his heart feeling complete with his lover right in his arms and the best thing she could ever say to him echoing in his ears. "You're gonna make me cry now, if you're not careful. Not gonna be able to finish making dinner when y'get me teary like this, you know that."

That got (Y/N)'s attention as she pulled back from Harry's chest just enough to look up at him. "But, I'm still hungry," she pouted, a teasing glint sparking across her now dry eyes.

"I know," he smiled down at her, ducking his head to nudge his nose against hers in a puppy's kiss, "That's why you've gotta be gentle with me. Can't really take care of y'when 'm all weepy cause you're being sweet on me."

(Y/N) let out a quiet laugh that transformed her features, softened every curve and adding creases to her eyes and lines around her mouth. Her eyes were dreamy and far away as she looked up at him. "Fine," she relented on a sigh, "Kiss before you go back to work?"

Harry didn't even try to stand up against the pucker of her lips, immediately stretching his neck and pressing his mouth to hers in a heart-mending kiss. Though the contact was nothing more than an innocent press, Harry still felt his heart thump, urging itself to runaway as he pulled back.

With a final nudge from (Y/N) pushing him towards the kitchen and the soup that was simmering away on the stove, it was with a smile quirking the corners of his lips and a heart trying to lift up to the clouds that he finished up the nights meal. Herbs and spices were added to the mixture, fragrancing the air with notes of sage and warm thyme. By the time he had developed the flavor he was looking for, he couldn't dole out the servings fast enough as he felt (Y/N)'s eyes on his back.

Chunks of a crusty baguette he had hidden away in his bread box were portioned out for both bowls, (Y/N) given the bigger serving as he carefully moved to sit beside her on his bed. His minimalist cottage allowed for the pair of them to cozy up on his bed with the nest of his duvet fluffed around them, a dining table not necessary in Harry's mind when he could be close to (Y/N) like this instead.

With her legs crossed underneath her, (Y/N) settled the warm bowl in her lap, peas and potato chunks floating around in the creamy soup, bright spots of green herbs ribboning through the mixture. Harry waited for her opinion on the soup first, watching her take her first bite while he absently flicked his hand to summon his helping of tea (that he was going to end up giving to (Y/N) as it seemed she had already finished her first mug).

With a spoonful loaded with the wild rice and bright vegetables, (Y/N) took a careful bite. The smile that brightened her face, brows raised and eyes wide made Harry's chest puff with pride.

"This is even better than last time, H," she beamed, spooning out another bite though her attention was pinned to him, "Did you do anything different?"

Harry shook is head, curls flopping over his forehead at the motion. "No, jus' tried extra hard to make it good for you. Feeling any better with the tea and everything?"

An excited nod of (Y/N)'s head sent her own hair a flutter, strands having escaped the twist she had put it in. Swallowing down her bite of dinner, she flicked her eyes to the extra mug of tea Harry had in his hand. Without thinking, he offered it to her with a silent question, urging her to wrap her fingers around the handle and take a sip.

"I still feel a little icky," she said, throat bobbing as she swallowed down her seeing of starlight, "But way better than yesterday. Thank you for helping me."

(Y/N) hadn't been paying attention as she brought another spoonful of soup to her mouth, going a bit haywire with a bump to her lip and causing a dribble of the mixture to land on the point of her chin and smear over the side of her mouth. Harry breathed out a laugh, bringing his hand up to her chin before swiping away the mess with the pad off is thumb.

"That's what 'm here for, sunshine," he cemented through his smile, bringing his thumb to his mouth to lick off the mess he had cleaned for her.

Her cheeks went warm as she watched him, aura matching with a cozy yellow and rosy pink that was his favorite combination to see haloing her form.

—————

"Sorry I'm not being any fun tonight, I'm just still so tired."

Harry watched with adoration swimming in his gaze as (Y/N) yawned before snuggling deeper under the covers stretched over his bed. Two empty mugs with residual stardust lingering in the bottom sat in his sink, and only a single helping left of the wild rice soup was stowed away and chilling in the refrigerator. (Y/N) had been effectively wined and dined, her system warmed and loosened enough that it had taken very little convincing on Harry's part to suggest that they head to bed early that night. Both Bonnie and Dandelion had embarked on their own adventures halfway through dinner, bored with watching their parents give each other lovey eyes and coo to one another. They would be back, he was sure, they couldn't stand to be too far from (Y/N) when she visited overnight.

"Don't be sorry, Dovie," he told her climbing into bed beside her, "I don't blame you. Healing takes a lot out of you, and 'm sure it's not easy during your Moon Cycle."

(Y/N) answered in a quiet sigh as Harry wrapped his arms around her. Her own arms were bundled between them, fingertips just barely brushing along the line of his collarbone. Just holding her, Harry could feel a thread of tenseness that had leaked back into her system, the tea and soup having done enough to relax her muscles, but nothing could completely erase the discomfort that came with feeling parts of your insides leave your body in a not so pleasant process.

With a wave of his fingers behind her shoulder, Harry queued his record player up, a Bread record spinning on the turntable. Soft notes of Baby I'm-A Want You filtered through the cottage, blending with the gentle sound of the swaying breeze that blew just outside. Using the cover of the song to muffle the spell he recited over (Y/N)'s head, Harry enchanted his hands with the charm of a healing touch. A warmth touched at his palms, spreading through to his fingers until there was a level of heat that simmered under his skin. It was a touch uncomfortable for him, a sensation he wasn't used to, but was more than willing to go through if it was going to help (Y/N) finally be pulled from the turmoil her body was putting her through.

The reaction was almost immediate as he pressed his hands to the expanse of her back. Muscles shifted and liquified, the arch and ache of her bones softened, and the stiff set of her body curled and sunk into the mattress and his arms.

"Its like you're a heating pad or something. Already feeling so much better now that you're holding me." (Y/N) mumbled words were smeared against the slope of his throat, a broad smile touching at his lips.

Sure, he could explain to her that he had actually cast a healing spell on his hands, tell her that it wasn't anything more than a clever charm that would wear off through the night—or, he could keep her thinking that his touch by itself was healing her, his presence just the antidote she needed. Maybe it was a bit selfish to go with the second option, but not harmful at all, Harry decided with a quiet smile.

Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, he continued his circuit over her back, occasionally playing with the ends of her stray hairs and drawing affectionate shapes across the planes of her back. Despite the short nap he had taken that afternoon, feeling her so close to him brought out a serenity that was hard to ignore, even when he hadn't started out the cuddle session tired at all.

"What song is this?" (Y/N) murmured, her words slurred and half asleep, just as they usually were when she needed that final shove of his calming voice to lull her to her dreams. And she knew nothing got him talking like music did.

"'S this song by Bread—"

"Bread?"

Harry breathed out a laugh that ruffled the hair on the crown of her head. God, he loved her. No one could make him laugh like she did.

"I know, 's a weird one, isn't it? But, this album came out in '71, I think, and..."

—————

its been so long since I posted something for citrine so im so excited for everyone to revisit their story!!! thank u sm for reading and sorry for any mistakes!! if you have any ideas or requests of your own please send them in!

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will-on-the-internet · 2 years

Text

Clean White Love | Eddie Munson

Summary: Eddie has never had such a perfect, unbelievable, and dreamy morning as this one. And he never wants to ruin this love. GN! Reader!

Warnings: kind of self-conscious Eddie? A very fluffy fic,

Word Count: 1k

A/N: I haven't written a fic in a while, but I hope you enjoy this little late night blurb. Very much inspired by Lisa Mitchell's "Clean White Love."

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Woah, ah, oh, you're my clean white love Woah, ah, oh, you're too clean white love I give my heart on the morning of November 6th Oh, everybody's looking for a fix, hey

Eddie always hated mornings, especially school mornings. If you knew anything about the metalhead, you knew he’d rather light a joint, make himself some toast and go back to bed and fiddle with his guitar or listen to the newest mix he’d made. He wanted nothing to do with school, none of the students, couldn’t give a shit about the staff, didn’t care about the endless piles of homework or his slumping grades. Sure, he knew he should graduate, knew his uncle and you wanted him to finish school and get out of the hell that was Hawkins, but on school mornings, Eddie cursed the world and everyone in it.

But on the weekend, it was a whole other matter. He had shit to do on the weekends, plan the next campaign, get together for another band practice, do his Saturday shift at the record store, and help Wayne with any handy work the man had planned. It wasn’t like he was jumping out of bed, but he was a lot more eager than he would be on a weekday. Except, today was different, and he knew it as soon as he woke up.

The trailer was quiet, Wayne having left already for a shift at the plant, and Eddie thought he was once again alone until he shifted, and felt something against his shoulder. His room was dark, barely any light filtering in between the broken gaps of the blinds, and Eddie rubbed at his eyes a couple of times to make sure he was seeing what was right in front of him.

Your head rested on the other half of the pillow, hair spilling over the skin of Eddie’s shoulder, and your arm was tucked against his chest, your breath coming out in soft whooshes of air against his face. He nearly couldn’t believe it, nearly pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming like the absolute loser he was, praying this wasn’t some sort of screwed-up nightmare where he finally had the person of his dreams in his bed.

But you were there, in his bed, against his sheets and tucked under his covers, body right up against his and your hand curled around his hip.

Eddie pulled the blankets up further, the chill of the autumn air breaking through the cracks in the room, and he knew that the little heater in the living room wouldn’t help one bit, and he definitely didn’t want to leave this moment just to go try and kick it to life. He snuggled back down beside you, resting his forehead against yours and watching you as you slept. It was perfect, and it was bewildering, and Eddie was so confused and trying to figure out how he’d finally gotten so lucky, and then he realised it was unfair too. So totally cruel and unfair that soon you’d wake up and this little piece of heaven would be fractured into splinters and you’d be pushing away from him and walking out of his life. He finally got the morning he wanted with the person he loved, and he knew he wouldn’t have it for long.

“You know, Munson, mornings are for relaxing, not thinking.” Your voice was soft, warm air against his face as you spoke quietly, pulling the metalhead out of his rolling thoughts, and for a moment he closed his eyes.

“I uh…didn’t think you’d still be here.” Eddie regretted the words as soon as they spilled from his mouth, but you took them in your stride, moving a hand up to brush your fingers against his cheek, watching in silent delight as he leaned into your gentle touch.

“Eddie, of course, I was going to be here. Don’t think I ever want to leave this bed, honestly. Nor do I wanna miss another morning waking up next to you.” His eyes brightened then as he realised what you were saying, realised you wanted to stay and you weren’t going to run from his arms like you’d been burned. He was kissing you then, soft and sweet and slow, an absolute perfect kiss for a perfect morning, and you couldn’t help but smile, curling your fingers into his messy mane of hair and sigh against his lips.

“Does that mean…does that mean you’ll wanna come back here again? Spend more time with me?” He asked the question so nervously, looking away and fiddling with the hem of your oversized t-shirt you’d stolen from him the night before.

“If you asked me to spend the rest of my life with you right here, I wouldn’t hesitate to say yes for a second, love.” Eddie keened when you called him that as if he was putty in your hands, and you smiled so brightly it melted his heart. “You know, whisk me away and I’ll be your’s for the day, any time you want baby.”

“So if I asked you to stay right here, with me, until I had to get up for work?” Eddie’s got so much hope in his eyes, and a bright blush blooms on his cheeks when you lean into litter kisses on his lips, his jaw, his neck.

“Then I’m not going anywhere. But you better find a way to warm me up, love, because I sure am getting cold.” He’s laughing then, warm and loud against the chill of the room, and he’s got you in his arms, holding you tighter and praying (even though he’s a man without a god) that you’d never want to leave.

This love was perfect, in an imperfect way. He never would have expected it, never thought he’d ever deserve a love like this, so pure and kind and clean, but he got what he always wanted. And if he could always have mornings like this, wrapped up in soft blankets with light filtering over your perfect face, he’d die a happy man, content in your embrace.

No one was going to take this perfect love away from him, this perfect clean love that was all for him.

PLEASE REBLOG FOR MORE EDDIE MUNSON FICS!

Tagged: @reidsbookclub @sadgirlml @gay-prentiss @prettyboyeddiemunson @writingquillsandpainpills @thelaststraw3 @gold-onthe-inside @kaqua @heidilc28 @desertmoths @kpopchangedmylifesstuff @liltimmyst @dixontardis

#eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff #stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x gender-neutral reader #will writes st!#eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson first morning trope

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tealfling · 5 months

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1) Amaranth Purpleheart (she/her), (currently) Tiefling (born: Half/Elf), Cleric of the Raven Queen, Chaotic Good

Background: Amaranth has a Noble background by birth. She was born to a human father and an Elven mother that ran a huge merchant empire outside the Gate. As her father's first child, she was the apple of his eye, her mother had 3 older adult children from previous relationships, and was pregnant at the time of Amaranth's disappearance and presumed death. It's Amaranth's father that couldn't handle the death of his child and squandered his human life looking for a way to bring her back. He eventually found someone capable of Reincarnation and had a lock of her hair, and thus Amaranth the tiefling came to be. She's deeply bothered by the parallels between her death and Isobel's and is hugely thankful her father wasn't a dick like Ketheric.

2) Amaranth was in Rivington working in the service of a family that was preparing for the death of their father when she was taken by the Nautiloid. She worried about them constantly until she got to the city to explain things, she feels horrible for abandoning them, and like she's failed them, but is so thankful the kept her stuff. She can't wait to show the group her bag of Memento Mori. A vampire boyfriend and a necromancy book wrapped in human skin is not even on the list of strangest undead things in her collection.

3) She romanced Astarion. It's all fun and games until the player gets played. Especially when they're both too stupid to see it. She immediately saw through his lines, however she mental gymnastics their train of "got to get the other person to trust me" until they were getting a green gown. She also really likes his sense of humor and thinks his bratty side is kind of cute. She doesn't drink tea, but they both spill it, server it hot and fresh as they gossip about everyone. The both like to read, and sew. At first, of course he hated how she had to stop and help every gods forsaken soul that asked for it and she didn't like his selfish overly violent ways. The arguing gave way to bantering, and clap backs and eventfully turned into the "you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid game." And considering how all the others kept propositioning her at camp, Astarion was the safer choice, right? He didn't actually have feelings for her, so there was no risk in breaking his heart like there was with the others. She liked him enough, so it'd be better to break one heart instead of two, right?

4) Camp bestie? Karlach. Hands down. We're talking instant friends. No relationship building here. Immediate Ride or Die. If Amaranth isn't with Astarion, she's with Karlach. Probably causing trouble. Oh, yeah they're workshopping a nickname: Chaos Tieflings, Tiefling Trouble, Demonic Duo, Fiendships. For someone so eager to name things, they can't seem to get Wyll on board with this one. (That's why he's not invited). The only hiccup in their relationship was the night Karlach thought she wanted something more. Amaranth hadn't been expecting that, and it flustered her in a way Lae'zel's proposition hadn't. Amaranth came really close to saying yes, like really close just to make Karlach happy, she deserved to have something go her way for once, but Amaranth just couldn't lead Karlach on like that, when she wasn't sure. Not when Karlach's heart was already so broken. Amaranth almost died of embarrassment later when Astarion popped in for their previously agreed upon feeding she had completely forgotten about, and admitted he saw what happened. Speaking of hearts, Amaranth takes every opportunity to get Karlach to Dammon's forge.

Amaranth: "Kar~lach, let's go flirt with Dammon. Let's go flirt with Dammon. Come on, he's so dreamy. And almost as hot as you. Com'on. He want's to fix you're heart, that's so fucking romantic, please, let's go flirt with Dammon. My gold is burning a hole in my pocket faster than your heart is your chest. Please." Karlach: ugh, I don't know solider, he probably doesn't see me that way. Astarion make her stop. Astarion: Oh, no Darling. I'm completely on board. Let's go flirt with Dammon.

5) Admittedly I haven't finished a playthrough (I'm so close too), but so far everyone has lived (The Doctor would be proud).

6) She plans on continuing to Adventure, hopefully staying with Astarion, because her goal is to cure his vampirism, which she'll be able to do when she can cast True Res. In the mean time, she'll hunt down something that allows him to walk in the sunlight, even if she has to hunt down her mother to do it.

7) Amaranth's father's human life, though longer than it should have been, ended long ago. Though technically, she knows her elven mother and siblings still live, she doesn't consider them family in a close sense since her mother didn't want anything to do with her after her resurrection as a tiefling.

8) [whispering so Astarion doesn't hear] Destroy Undead.

#bg3 #bg3 tav #baldurs gate 3 #write your tav #tiefling tav #tav #baldurs gate tav #my tav #tav oc #tav bg3 #write your tav #bg3 tiefling #tiefling oc #tiefling #dnd tiefling #tavfling

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demotsetdemiel · 2 years

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hi kath !! can i request an imagine where draco and y/n are dating in the sixth year but he has to break up with her to keep her safe bc he's a death eater now? it's ok if you are not comfortable writing this, i understand ♡

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐘 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐌𝐄 || 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘

summary: when draco becomes a deatheater, he has to protect you from his family… and from him. [6th year!draco malfoy x gf!reader]

cw: angst, a bit of swearing

a/n: thanks for requesting honey!! i love this, i was actually going to write something like that when i saw your request, i was a little long but here it is! hope you enjoy <3

you were never alone at howgarts. never. you had your best friend, Luna Lovegood, who was a little… dreamy sometimes, but you were as well, so you two got on well. you had the most famous trio at school, harry potter, ron weasley, and hermione granger.

but above all, you had your boyfriend, draco malfoy.

yes, you were a ravenclaw. yes, you were aware that your friends could barely stand the blond guy. and yes, when you started dating, people started looking down on you, fearing you, and even avoiding you. yet, you were still the same. you just fell for the bad guy, who was becoming sweeter by spending time with you.

although since the beginning of your sixth year, he was avoiding you. you found that pretty strange because you two were like inseparable, always cuddling even when he was in a bad mood, you needed to be next to him. and now you found yourself listening to the theories of harry, who was sure that your boyfriend was now a death eater, just like his father. to be honest, you didn’t believe that, it was bullshit, wasn’t it? potter hated draco, so he always found reasons to blame him, this couldn’t be true. he would have told you, right ?

but deep down, you were believing harry. yes, draco had acted strangely that past few days. that’s why you had sent him an owl, asking him to meet you as usual, at your kissing spot, the astronomy tower.

wind running through your hair, your eyes admiring the lake, even after six years, you were waiting for him to show up, which he did after a while.

“y/n. looking for me?”

his tone was distant, cold, just like when you were both strangers to each other. just when he hated you. your heart broke a little more.

“why are you avoiding me?” you attacked with a small voice. you wanted answers, and you wanted things to go back as they were before.

“i’m not avoiding you”

“stop denying, I didn’t see you after the howgarts express. I don’t even know about what you did during your holidays, you didn’t bother to write to me.” your tone was bitter.

“I didn’t have to. you’re not my-“

“your what? your girlfriend? yeah, apparently I’m not anymore.” you stated, tears filling up your eyes.

“maybe it’s the best option.”

his cold voice broke you heart in thousand pieces. a single tear ran down your cheek, and you wiped it away as fast as you can, anger and sadness running through your veins. that was it. the worst breakup in history. you couldn’t see what you did wrong. you didn’t know, but right now, you couldn’t care. all you could notice were draco’s features, impenetrable, but not seeming to regret anything, not even a little saddened, or sympathetic. you knew dating the infamous draco malfoy could only bring you problems, but you never thought of a heartbreak like that.

you didn’t want to fall apart in front of him, so you just stopped inches from him, and placed something in the palm of his hands. after that, you ran away from him, as fast as you can.

what you didn’t see, though, was draco’s hand shaking behind his back, the pain he had in pronouncing these words in front of you, the mark on his arm. the look in his eyes, so broken to hurt you like that. but he didn’t have the choice. he had to protect you, from him, from his family, from Voldemort. he had to, but it didn’t make it easier. no, it was even worse. because now, he had no one left for him, to be on his side.

when he opened his hand, he had to bite his lip to stop himself from shouting your name and telling you everything. in his palm rested the ring he’d gave you a year ago, when you started dating.

what hurted him the most was that you didn’t know why, and that you thought maybe it was your fault, that you did something wrong. that was killing him.

#draco imagine #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy angst #draco malfoy x you #harry potter fandom

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musingsofaperpetualdaydreamer · 19 days

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The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology first listen 🎧🪻✨

More than 15 years later wow it still feels so magical to listen to a brand new album. The joy, the excitement, the nervousness. I mark chapters of my life with her albums, they always seem to arrive with perfect timing. Is it fate or delusion? Probably the later, obviously she has no idea who I am. Idk it feels nice to delude myself now and again that we’re all journeying through this time together in some connectedness (is that a word?). It feels sort of nostalgic in some ways, from being just a child to now an adult, it’s like Sesame Street that grows up with you. Not a great analogy but what I mean to say is it holds a special place to me.

This album, this anthology feels much like we’ve been handed her diary, filled with sticky notes bound together, it’s so raw but so expertly crafted, messy feelings but the penmanship is exquisite. From her debut album, it’s always been poetry. She transports you to her world. What a journey, what a joy, what a gift.

I like to capture my first thoughts of each song in my silly chicken scratching written notes. Most of it makes no sense. It feels like a nice silly tradition and it’s fun to look back on. So here goes:

Fortnight

- It’s giving moody 1989??? Excuse me miss?!!! Ohhh she knows. Preach bye time to cry

The tortured poets department

- Ooooh we’re in an 80s dreamscape. Yes yes yes. Who’s gonna love you but me? A fluffy dreamland Patty smith? Insert wait I understood the reference meme. Ooooh it’s lovely. I am sad

My boy only breaks his favourite toys

- excuse me?? I’m shattered byyyyyeee. I’ll tell you that he runs because he loves me?? You should’ve see him when he first saw me? Once I fix me he’s gonna miss me??? Ladies and gents welcome to afternoon tea on the menu SCALDING hot queen’s special. Maybe I’m a crumpled up paper on the floor. Maybe I am no more.

Down Bad

- well damn she’s said the quiet parts out loud again. Oh smokes time to dissapear into this galaxy smoky cloud of night. One of us. One of us. One of us.

So long London

- literally standing by the river in the rain. May as well cry my damn eyes out . Darn it blondie. Poetic destruction. Crying my eyes out by the water like I’m in made in Chelsea. Darn.

But daddy I love him

- a folklore ode? Little house on the prairie Princess revolution. Serve it up serve it up I’m ready to be stuffed like a winter pig. A grown up love story. It’s ridiculous and maybe wise eyes know too well it’s chockablock of red flags but darn I’m a cheesin’ this is so cute.

Fresh out the slammer

- oh it’s like August but dark. August dark afternoon blistering hot and the storm is about to come.

Florida!!! Ft Florence and the machine

-ExXUSE MEEEEEEEeE?????!?!!?teee heee heee heeee. Your home’s really only a town you’re a guest in??? Sorry can’t speak my jaw has shattered. Pls pls. Palm tree pls.

Guilty as sin?

- A false God dreamy haze confessional? With sprinkle of Gold Rush??? I am a melted.

Who’s afraid of little old me?

- The who’s who of who’s that is poised for the attack? But my bare hands paved their path, you don’t get to tell me what’s sad? - I AM CHOKED. Silenced mute. Ohhhh miss blondie is on BUSINESS. TELL THEM SWEETIE. Oh my heart 💔

I can fix him (No really I can).

- Oooh moody blues preaching with generous dash of delusion? Ah yes my routine favourite beverage. I am drinking this up like air. Drunk on false hope? One of us. One of us. One of us.

Loml

- You Holy Ghost you told me I’m the love of your life. Oh no I’m crying again. Back to crumpled paper rocking back and forth on the floor in a ball it is. It’s so pretty yet, shattering. Devastating. I wish I could unrecall how we almost had it all. Dancing phantoms on the terrace, are they second hand embarrassed that I can’t get out of bed ‘cause something counterfit is dead? Yep that’ll do it.

I can do it with a broken heart?

- Oh damn. Honey nooooo. Oh myyyy. Oh I’m in this picture and I don’t like it. It’s so artfully done, so upbeat and Poppy yet so hauntingly sad. Yes that’s the point but it’s sooo well done. Oh sweetie. I can’t stop laughing it’s not funny, it’s just you too pumpkin. I wanna hug her and tell her it’ll be fine. Ok ok.

The smallest man who ever lived

- Oh I’m speechless. And I don’t even want you back, I just want to know, if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal. The bridge? Excuse me while I sink to the bottom of the darkest ocean.

The alchemy

- Oooh it’s so cute and dreamy. I’m beaming you can hear her smile when she sings.

Clara bow

- Oooh it’s the lucky one grown up. The bridge is a masterpiece. It’s hell on earth to be heavenly, thems the breaks it don’t come gently. She knows she’s a star, The never ending cyclical wheel of stardom, even the shiniest, ends with a new star born in its shadow.

The black dog

- Oh No no no I Am 1 billion percent destroyed. Byeeeee

Imgonnagetyouback

- Oooh blondie is on the prowl and what can I do but bop like the well stuffed clown I am. Insert meme of cat bopping their head.

The albatross

- Banjo? Haunting country cautionary tale? - scathing review of one’s reputation, worst traits but underneath it all is just vulnerability. Caged for ‘monstrosity’ but being so vulnerable and just wanting to be freed loved. The ‘monster’ trying to protect the one they love from the things that will come for them too? Do they even realise it? Do they care? Wow it’s poetically beautiful.

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

- Oh it’s sad. If you wanna break my cold cold heart, just say I loved you the way that you were? Oh myyy. Replaying old moments, looking for clues wondering if it can all have a new ending? Wow.

How did it end?

- Wow the invasiveness of empathy of the innate curiosity of wanting to know, so you can something comforting, learn from it but you forget how it can be the worst part, having to offer up a ‘post mortem’ to all when you’ve barely even processed its ended yourself. The cyclical nature of it happening every time like it’s just a formal process we’ve come to accept even though it haunts us all. Ironically as we listen to this. Wow so beautifully done.

So high school

- I wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you, and in a blink of a crinkling eye, I’m sinking, our fingers entertwined. Awww the sort of bubblegum silly feels you roll your eyes but you have the biggest smile on your face. It’s soo cute. You know how to call, I know Aristotle.

I hate it here

- Oooooh tell me something awful like you’re a poet trapped inside the body of a finance guy. One of us. One of us.

ThanK you aIMee

- Oh my goodness it’s grown up mean but she made it out. It’s so sad but I’m beaming. I say that’s my baby and I’m proud. Andrea? Oh thank you next. Not the kid. I’m cackling.

I look in people’s windows

- Oh it’s haunted death by a thousand cuts glimmering of desperate false hope. It’s lovely.

The prophecy

- Oh. Damn yep that’ll do it. Right in the ticker. Damn. It feels very much like am I doomed to always be the one before the one? Wow. Just yeah.

Cassandra

- I don’t know why but this makes think of safe and sound. Like the woman that was there when everything burned around them. She’s telling her side. Everyone’s there to watch you burn, screaming your guilt but silent when they’re wrong? If that ain’t the truth miss. Oh wow. Shes beautifully captured such a dark chapter.

Peter

- Oh wow it’s beautiful. It’s like post cardigan and she’s all grown up. 'Cause love's never lost when perspective is earned. But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light. Oh wow it’s wow.

The Bolter

- Oh we must stop meeting like this but it always ends with a town car speeding. Wowowow. It feels like the time she fell through the ice, then came out alive. Oh my a BEAUTY.

Robin

- Oh it’s so pretty. It’s like never grow up, safe and sound and seven swirled together. Wow. It’s like she’s talking to her child but then also herself in the past and present, like from an older perspective? Ohhh it’s beautiful. Why does this make me think of coraline’s real mother watching her sleep? I wanna cry.

The manuscript

- Wow god it’s beautiful. Another time travel song. You keep revisiting past in your mind and you gain perspective and then you realise you aren’t that version of you that lived it anymore. You can feel it still, not as deeply perhaps but you’re disconnected from thinking the way you did at that time or after. Is sobering and haunting. The healing. Wow wow wow.

@taylorswift thank you my love 💕

#taylor swift #the tortured poets department #ts ttpd #the tortured poets department the anthology #first listen #musings #hope you guys are doing well

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funkymbtifiction · 2 years

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there’s a heated debate on PDB about sx 2w3 vs sx 4w3 for pearl (the villain of the movie x) in light of her new villain origin movie. i don’t know if you’ve seen it (or plan to - so ill try to avoid spoiling it in case) i personally saw her as more 2 but now i’m wondering if i am missing something. those typing her as 4 do have valid arguments as she DOES display a lot of envy and frustration. the main argument for 4 seems to be her jealousy and dissatisfaction with life along with her dreaminess however she also has very valid reasons to feel jealous and frustrated, given how she was treated. it’s my understanding that a 4 will feel chronically frustrated and broken coming from within, even if their needs are objectively met, even feeling frustrated when others understand them too well or that there’s nothing to be frustrated about. but in pearls case life really never gave her a break. i feel like in her situation anyone would feel envious and frustrated. i felt her self image was broken down by the opinions of everyone around her, rather than starting out from a place of brokenness. she was also so passive most of the movie until she snapped that i even considered 9 for her and from what i know sx 4 is one of the most aggressive assertive types. i didn’t honestly see a ton of the assertive helpfulness of 2 either but i did see a sense of duty and guilt about putting herself first along with moments of coming on too strong + a strong 3 influence (but probably not assertive enough overall to be core) so between 2/4 i lean 2. anyway i don’t know if there’s much else i can say without spoilers but am i missing something about 2/4? and is there a good way to tell between the two types and the heart types in general? if envy and frustration are on display is that indeed 4 even if life is so bad for someone that it would be normal to feel like that? tysm!

I haven't seen it, and don't plan to -- but as far as villains go, Kylo Ren and Dracula from Bram Stoker's Dracula (Gary Oldman version) are both sx4s, and Glenn Close's character from Fatal Attraction is an sx2 -- which one is more like Pearl in their brand of insanity? The sx4s are angry, envious, jealous, and upset -- the sx2 is entitled and demands love in return for her favors.

#question #pearl #enneagram

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heart-sized · 1 year

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overlooked love — s. snape

★⺌◞ : young severus snape x f! student reader

cw : none that i can think of.

plot : severus has always liked you and now he wanted to confess his feelings to you

masterlist // sev's masterlist

severus had not much of a happy childhood. he could remember it mostly blurred around pain. getting into hogwarts was not much of a comfort either. he was mocked and bullied often. however if there was one person he'd call his friend there, it'd be you.

he could never forget the first time he met you. he had seen you staring at his artbook, the one he had accidentally left in the great hall. severus was not very confident of his art, knowing he could never compete with sirius black. however he had found tears dropping off your eyes at the one particular art that he had drawn when he was going through heartbreak.

you are worth it. those were the words that he had written and your fingertips were there.

he had not known when the defining moment was where he actually fell for you. maybe it was that moment. or maybe when you sat next to him and offered your friendship. or maybe when you were being just you.

all he knew was that he loved you. very much. and he was going to ask you out for yule ball and then he would confess his love for you.

simple, right?

no. not at all for severus snape.

“sev?” your voice drifted him off from his thoughts as you sat down beside him. “what are you doing here alone?”

“thinking.” about you. he smiled at you. “how are you, y/n?”

“i am good!” you chirped. “chirpy as ever! oh my god, sev. the yule ball is so near.”

this. maybe this was the universe's sign for severus to confess his feelings. “y/n, i―”

“i hope you've got a date planned, sev,” you cut him off, smiling. “i know a lot of pretty girls who would want to go with you.”

he didn't want pretty girls. he wanted you.

“who are you going with?” he asked, mentally praying that you had not accepted any request. he knew it was selfish of him to pray so but he never claimed to be not selfish.

“ah, it was meant to be a surprise but,” you leaned in closer to him, “sirius!”

severus could feel his heart break into pieces. there was a literal thud in his heart and a burning feeling in his stomach. probably his heart had bent down below and was attacked by the acids. this― he couldn't breathe! so unfair.

“this was so much like a dream come true,” your eyes were closed in a dreamy way and even now, he could not help but adore your smile, “i had never expected to be lucky enough to be chosen by him. i mean, he's so―”

“y/n,” he finally cut you off, not wanting to hear anything else, “sorry but i need to go. the ball is so near and i have yet to find a date.”

not bothering to give you a last look, he turned away with his broken heart, another reminder that his life was meant to be of pain. only pain. he wasn't even sure if he'd come to yule ball anymore. the thought of seeing you with black made him sick.

maybe, just maybe, not all people deserved a soft epilogue. at least, not him.

#harry potter #severus snape #severus snape x reader #professor snape #young severus #angst fic #severus snape angst #lily potter #james potter #slytherin #hermione granger #fanfic #harry potter fandom #unholyache #poemskento

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neptuneholub · 2 years

Text

at the risk of sound sincere

written the 25th of september, 2022

by neptune p. holub

i have learnt how to romanticise even the smallest of experiences

today i had helped my father in the garden to break apart a clump of root rotted soil

throwing the shovel into the garden bed like i used to throw javelins at a school sport carnival

i picked out bugs and threw them over the fence for the chickens to eat

and my father remarked that my old dog used to eat those bugs too

i go inside and wash my feet in the (once) pristine white sink

the same way i used to when i was a kid

i have learnt to cherish even the tiniest moments of beauty

the head of my bed is pushed right against my floor to ceiling to window

my old blinds were so broken i never opened them because it took an hour to close them

eventually my mother got mad at me never opening them so she forced them open

surprise, surprise, it broke, so i finally got new ones

i cover it with a semi see through purple fabric

i pull up my blinds, open the window, let the morning sun cast purple light across my room

i curl up with my dog and watch rain hit the flowers

i awake at night and watch the stars slowly drift across the sky

i dont light incense as much as i used to because my dog sleeps in my room now

i use my weighted blanket more because it’s soft and calms me down

i spray hello kitty branded perfume on my pillow and dream of watermelon and bubblegum

i have learnt to fall in love with every person i meet

my last day of high school was on a wednesday

friday afternoon, the entire cohort was invited for a buffet meal at a fancy dinner

i wrote a collection of letters, for people i was never quite friends with but that i loved regardless

for teachers who i’d known for few years and had somehow touched my hearts

for people i never wanted to see again but wanted the closure to tell them why

i handed out the letters and left so i couldn’t see their reaction

despite my avoidance, two letters were sent to me in turn

and four different people hugged me, threatening spilt tears from my words

every person i know, for ten years or one, has somehow found a way into my heart

the least i can do is somehow let them know of it

i have learnt to speak my mind carefully and clearly

in autistic wonder and joy i have found honesty to be so easy and natural i could never abandon it

in the events of any event i have found my opinion to be worthwhile, or at the least relevant

in my own life, as i exist loudly and proudly, i refuse to shy away from what i mean

and at the risk of sounding sincere, i know i am indulgent of my emotions

i romanticize dirtying a bathroom by cleaning my feet

i am most relaxed as i listen to rain hit the driveway pavement

i write letters for people i frankly wished i could’ve been better friends with

at the risk of sounding sincere, i say my thoughts

everything dreamy, and sappy, and sweet, and soft

at the risk of sounding sincere, i share my sincerity

because it’s all that’s left of me that feels natural

#my poetry

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seungchansol · 4 years

Text

SM you cruel bastards, I'm ready to fight man!!! If NCT Dream doesn't become a fixed unit...you better watch out!!!

#seeing the dreamies break down has broken my heart #im upset and angry this is cruel #😭😭😭#nct #nct dream

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nationalharryleague · 3 years

Text

Two for the Show

Summary: Jeff plans for Harry’s new opening act to be more than that.

Genre: Famous Fake Dating!

Word Count: 17.1k!

Pinterest Board

A/N: Hey babes!! This is something I’ve been working on since December now and I’m so fucking proud of it and how it turned out!!! It’s the longest thing I’ve ever written and I’m so so so excited to hear what everyone has to say!! Giant thank you’s go out to the incredible soph (@theharriediaries) and Lu (@meetmymouth) bc this never would have come to fruition without them and their help!! Please let me know what you think!! More of my writing can be found in my masterlist!! Happy reading y’all :)

***

Keeping appearances in the public eye is a delicate balance.

If Y/N was being honest with herself, everything Full Stop Management had ever suggested to her had worked, and very well. When they suggested her music took a more pop direction, they set her up with a team of fantastic producers and her music sales and popularity skyrocketed. And when they set up an appointment with a celebrity stylist to figure out her signature style, it worked; they turned her into the 1970’s inspired goddess she had always dreamed of being. Even the hours of media training that she had been put through worked, helping her learn how to bob and weave even the most intrusive of interview questions.

But this time, she thought they might be going too far.

“Jeff,” she began with a sigh and a doubtful shake of her head, “I don’t know about this one.”

“It’s just a few months before and during the tour,” explained the man sitting across from her at the long conference table. “You’ll be seen in public a few times to drum up publicity for the tour and your album, maybe do an interview or two together, and some light PDA.”

His expression was honest and earnest. In the time he had represented her, he had never done anything to her that didn’t help her succeed. It was not hard for her to believe that he just wanted what was best for her and her career.

But something kept holding her back.

“I just got my heart broken in the most public way,” she said softly, absentmindedly fiddling with the base of her ring finger where an engagement ring once sat. “Isn’t it a little too soon to be seen jumping back into a whirlwind romance?”

“I don’t think so. If anything, it will make James look even worse than he already does after what he did to you.” She had to admit the idea of a little revenge did perk her ears up a bit. “And it doesn’t hurt that Harry is so universally loved and known for being such a good guy.”

That was another reason she was skeptical of this entire plot. This was Harry Styles they were talking about; Harry fucking Styles. She had only met him once or twice while working out details for her to be the opening act for his upcoming tour, but she had been a big fan of his and idolized him since she was a teen. Just meeting him threw her inner 16 year old self for a loop, let alone trying to pretend she was in love with him.

In all honesty, it probably wouldn’t be too hard on her end once she got over being starstruck; she wasn’t so sure she still wasn’t kind of in love with him, or at least the version the public saw.

“Listen,” Jeff began again, his voice taking on a bluntness, “no one cares about the opening act. No one bought tickets to see you; they’re there to see Harry.” His words stung but she knew it was the truth. “But if they think you are a part of Harry’s life, they care about you too. And they will keep on caring about you after they leave the show.” Her apprehensiveness must have been clear on her face when he put on a gentle smile. “He’s a really nice person. I promise.”

“I know,” she breathed, a small pout finding its way to her lips. “Fine,” she conceded after a moment, throwing her hands up in the air dramatically to signal surrender. “I’m in.”

A triumphant grin spread across his face. “Thank you. I’ll go call Harry and tell him you’re down.” She watched as he got up from his chair and came towards her, pressing a brief and friendly kiss to the top of her head. “You won’t regret this, Y/N.”

“I better not, Azoff,” she chuckled while shaking her head slightly.

Soon she was alone in the conference room, basking in the light from the floor to ceiling windows that sat before her.

“What did I just get myself into?” she mumbled quietly to herself.

***

The answer to that question came two weeks later when she was sitting across a table from the Harry Styles at a small outdoor brunch spot in LA. Their meeting place was strategic, a small restaurant, not too flashy so it didn’t look like they were seeking attention, but outdoors where anyone could see. It was only a matter of time before he was recognized, and the sighting was almost guaranteed to be trending on Twitter only minutes later.

She couldn’t say that she wasn’t nervous. The inside of her mouth had been chewed raw and the bags under her eyes showed she had been having trouble sleeping in the nights leading up to their first appearance together. By the end of the day, she would most likely have countless articles written about her and possibly have millions of angry fangirls coming after her; even though their “relationship” wouldn’t be officially confirmed for a few weeks.

If all went to Jeff’s plan, she would become an A-lister overnight.

She stood in front of her closet for over an hour, trying on and taking off outfits before finally settling on her favorite pair of bright red corduroy flares and a crisp white textured halter top. She paired the outfit with a new pair of heeled leather boots. They were a flashy pair that were split down the middle, bright yellow on one side and white with yellow stars on the other, hoping Harry would appreciate the bold colors.

She meticulously did her makeup, sure to match her lipstick color exactly to the shade of her pants; and spent far too long in front of the mirror fussing with her hair, praying it would lay the way she wanted it to.

She knew that she was going to be photographed in some way shape or form, and with the fashion icon himself. She had to look good. He had been on the cover of Vogue for god’s sake.

When she finally arrived at the cafe, Harry sat quietly across from her. He looked casual, or as casual as Harry Styles gets. A yellow t-shirt, that was tight enough to look as if it was painted on, showed off his muscular chest and arms. His iconic tattoos illustrated his arms and she hoped he wouldn’t notice as she covertly tried to examine closely. He uncomfortably ran his palms down the legs of his high waisted denim flares that had been paired with his signature pearl necklace and ratty, but well loved, white vans.

And she couldn’t forget his rings. His signature gold ‘H’ and ‘S’ looked back at her as he gently grasped his flute filled to the brim with a mimosa, bringing it to his pink lips that were surrounded by the short stubble he had been wearing lately.

The pair sat in a slightly awkward silence, both seeming to down their mimosas quickly just because it was something to do with their hands and could occupy their lips so they didn’t have to talk.

To say she was panicking, wouldn’t be too much of an over exaggeration. She was sitting across from one of the world’s biggest stars, and as one of his biggest closeted fans. The things he could do for her career were astronomical and it was hard to ignore that, but she also had a hard time getting over the way his hair seemed to fall into perfect tousled curls and his dreamy green eyes.

She had been in love with him (or at least the idea of him) since she was 16. She couldn’t help it.

But the bottomless mimosas helped to break her anxiety, and apparently his as well, as they both began to feel a slight buzz.

“So how did Jeff end up talking you into this?” Harry eventually broke the silence, the alcohol lowering his naturally shy inhibitions just enough to kick off their conversation.

She let a playful eye roll take over her face before she began. “Oh Jeff,” she said jokingly, letting out a long sigh. “I was convinced somewhere in between ‘it’ll make your ex look bad’ and a stern ‘no one ever cares about the opening act,’” she chuckled, while sarcastically wagging her finger in the air, dramatically re-enacting his scolds.

He sucked in a breath through his teeth, letting out a dramatic ‘ouch.’ “He’s not always gentle, is he?” matching her chuckle.

“He knows where to hit you where it hurts,” she laughed, while nodding in agreement. “How did he convince you?”

“Coincidently, he also took a low blow involving my ex. I believe his words were ‘You wrote an entire album about her and haven’t dated anyone since and it makes you look kind of pathetic.’” He dramatically used air quotes and did his best impression of Jeff’s American accent. She couldn’t hold back the giggles that erupted from her.

“Oh my goodness,” she let out through slightly buzzed giggles, “you definitely win.”

From that point, their conversation began to flow more easily, easing her anxiety as she learned he was generally easy to talk to. He laughed at her jokes, and she laughed at his. He really did have the calming and disarming quality that people always said he had, like could melt down any walls and convince you to be honest with him, even if you didn’t really want to be. She was shocked to find that she wanted him to genuinely be a friend to her so badly. He was just so nice and such a good listener.

Their conversation took a turn when Harry’s super power of knowing when his picture was being taken kicked in. “Give me your hand,” he said to her, diverting from the pleasant conversation they had been having about their families. “Don’t look but there’s someone across the street taking photos of us.”

His instructions brought her back to the reality that they weren’t really friends and that all of this was for show.

She brought her hand up to meet his, strategically resting on the side of the table that faced the street, giving the camera the best view. The cool metal of his hand full of rings felt good against her skin that had been baking in the hot LA sun and he passed his thumb over her knuckles with faux affection.

She couldn’t help but feel a dishonest weight pulling on her heart. She knew everything was going to plan and this was all for the best, but it also felt slightly wrong. She played with her small heart shaped earring to distract herself from the sinking feeling.

“Harry,” she began, knowing the people across the street were out of ear shot. Her voice brought his attention from her hand back up to her eyes. “Does this feel wrong to you at all?”

“How so?”

“It just feels dishonest, like we’re lying to millions of people, our–well, mostly your fans.” She couldn’t help but correct herself.

His eyes softened at her words, like he was taking in the innocence she still held onto after only being in the industry for a short time, compared to his decade in the spotlight.

“I try not to think of it as lying,” he spoke slowly after a moment of thinking. He nodded along softly to punctuate his words. “When you think about all this as lying, it starts to weigh pretty heavy on you as a person. I try to be as honest as possible in my music and daily life, but that’s not always what people want to see. They want a show that will entertain them, and it is our job to give it to them.”

“I see,” she mused.

They sat together for another hour or so, allowing their small mimosa buzz to wear off enough for them to drive the short distances to their homes. The pair eventually found their way back to a comfortable conversation, but Harry’s comment about being in the public eye still weighed on her.

Suddenly, she wasn’t sure if all of this was worth it. Y/N was a master at dodging a question and turning the charm to 10 when it was needed, but she wasn’t a liar and she definitely wasn’t an actress. She hoped she (or Jeff) hadn’t bitten off more than she could chew with all of this.

Harry eventually walked her back to her car that was parked a few blocks away, and while she was sure he was doing it for the cameras, she didn’t doubt that he would have done it even if they weren’t there. He just seemed like that kind of guy to her; caring and trustworthy.

“Thank you for a very nice date, Harry,” she said, winking and chuckling along with the extra emphasis she put on the last word.

“My pleasure,” he smiled down at her. He moved along with her as she walked to the driver's side door, opening it for her like a perfect gentleman. The two stood close, his body hovering over her’s as they stood inside the open door. Her heart rose to her throat as he leaned down to her and pressed a gentle kiss to her burning cheek.

Y/N looked back up at him with rosy cheeks and a tightlipped bashful smile. She watched as he walked backward carefully, taking her hand that had been locked with his until he was too far and let it fall back to her body.

She situated herself in her drivers seat and was ready to leave when she heard a knocking on the passenger side window that startled her. Harry had bent himself over and was motioning for her to roll the window down. When she did, he leaned himself in, an honest look in his eyes.

“Before you go,” he said gently. “A word of advice from someone who had been in the public eye for a long time,” he spoke with a tender yet serious tone, eyes locking with hers. “When you go home today, don’t go on social media. People are mean, and it’s just going to hurt.” She nodded along with his words and watched as he pinched his bottom lip. “And when you inevitably can’t resist, text me if you need to talk about it.”

***

They must have done a good job putting on their show because within an hour of her returning home to her apartment, they were all anyone was talking about. Their names were trending worldwide #1 on Twitter. Streams of Y/N’s debut album were up by 800%, and even Harry’s streams had taken a considerable jump. Y/N had gained 40,ooo new followers and views on every interview she had ever done were steadily rising.

All was going according to Jeff’s plan.

Harry’s words circled her brain for hours. “Don’t go on social media,” she heard him say over and over again as she paced her apartment, only stopping to look at the phone sitting on the kitchen counter every so often.

She had taken a shower, done her hair, tried to watch TV, cooked herself dinner, and even tried to sit down and write a song; it all got her nowhere fast. The unknown was eating at her inside.

Y/N broke when she heard the small ding signaling she had gotten a text message. She had all but sprinted to see who it was, reunited with the outside world through her touch screen. Unsurprisingly, it was from Jeff; the message sent to her and an unknown number she assumed to be Harry’s.

Good job, kiddos., was all it read but there was a photo attached to the message. Her heart stopped while she waited for the photo to load, cursing her slow wifi in the process. After a few breathless moments, the photo came through.

It was a screenshot from the website of one of the biggest entertainment magazines in the country. A picture of him kissing her cheek was the front page of the website.

Harry Styles and Y/N Y/L/N Rumored To Be Music’s New Power Couple Ahead of Tour

She was honestly speechless. This was huge.

She would like to say the sheer shock blurred her judgement, but the curiosity just got the better of her. Harry’s words repeated over and over again in her head, telling her not to, even as her finger connected with the icon of the little blue bird.

She was the most talked about topic in the entire world, her name hovering in bold letters on the trending page. She did everything she could to not click on her name, but her fingers did it all on her own.

The first few tweets were nice. Someone said they liked her style and that they looked cute together as a couple. Another said that they had always enjoyed her music and that they were happy for them.

But as she scrolled, it became harsher and just mean. People commented on her weight, said she couldn’t sing, and criticized her personality as seeming fake and forced. Her eyes were locked on the screen, unable to look away, as her heart began to break and few tears began to roll.

It took one final, and the most painful, tweet for her to consider deleting her account completely. She swiped out of the app fast, but the words were still burned into her brain.

Y/N is using Harry, just like she used James before he got rid of her and found someone better.

The words knocked the wind out of her, pouring salt on an open wound that had yet to heal.

She also had the little blue bird for that heartbreak as well. When she opened the app two months ago, the first thing she saw was pictures of her (former) fiance, James, with his tongue down some girl’s throat. At the time she had been devastated, her heart broken beyond repair.

It felt like no one else in the world could understand the way she was feeling. If she was in this position because of another person, they must get it too. The text to Harry was already sent before she had time to think it over.

I looked and I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry that I didn’t listen.

His response came only seconds later.

Don’t be sorry. It’s hard not to. Are you alright?

She had to think about his question, unsure if she knew the answer. Tears were still running down her face and she felt like she was a target the entire world had decided it was open season on. Logically, she knew these people never thought she would see these awful things, but it didn’t excuse the hurt she felt when she did.

I don’t know. I just don’t understand how people can be so cruel.

She felt like she was bothering him, even though he had offered to be there for her. He wasn’t her best friend, or a close confidant; he was her fake publicity boyfriend. He had real friends he wanted to talk to or maybe even a real girlfriend underwraps somewhere. Her body was wracked with guilt as she thought it over.

People are just mean on the internet, okay? They think they can say whatever they want without repercussions. I’m so sorry that you are being targeted because of me.

Before she got a chance to think through a proper response to him, her phone dinged with another text. It was from Jeff again.

Really good job, kiddos.

Y/N was confused. They hadn’t done anything else but be seen together today. Her sick sense of curiosity got her again before she opened Twitter again and looked up Harry’s name. He had tweeted for the first time in six months only a few moments ago.

@Harry_Styles: We treat people with kindness.

***

The next time she saw him was two days later at yet another public meet up Jeff had arranged for them. Unfortunately this time, she had become just as famous as Harry seemingly overnight, the flames of her new found fame growing even larger after he had sent that tweet.

While the fame had grown, the hate had calmed since his statement, which most had taken as an official declaration of their relationship. Now, that was not to Jeff’s plans.

She had to fight her way out of her apartment complex, wearing a pair of massive dark sunglasses with circular lenses and shielding her face with her hands the best she could. But she did have to admit that the electric orange fabric of her jumpsuit probably didn’t do much to help her blend in and avoid the attention of the paparazzi that had now found out where she lived.

Harry was sitting at the table by himself facing the back of the cafe when she arrived, two cups of coffee waiting before him to be drank together placed delicately on the table. He had his head down, buried in a book, before she startled him with a hug from behind. Her cheek connected with his warm neck where she buried her head into him and she took in his dizzying cologne.

She felt him jump beneath her as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pressing a dramatic and cheesy kiss to his cheek, feeling his light stubble prick her chapsticked lips. “My hero,” she joked, trying to bring at least a little humor to the man who had just about jumped out of his skin at her touch.

It felt like she was crossing a boundary, and she was pretty sure she was, but she just needed to thank him and a hug felt like the best way to do that while in a semi-crowded coffee shop. Also, playing up that they were madly in love didn’t hurt.

“Jesus Christ,” he breathed, a hand flying over his chest in surprise to feel his racing heartbeat. “You scared the shit out of me.” Once he settled for a moment, his arm moved across his chest to rest on her arm. His touch was gentle and soft, holding her there gently like he didn’t want her to release him from her grasp. She tried not to think about it too much as she slipped her arms off of him, making her way to the seat that was clearly meant for her across from him.

“I’m sorry that I scared you. A little jumpy today?” she teasingly questioned.

“Hey, watch it,” he playfully threatened. “I believe you called me your hero about thirty seconds ago.”

“I guess I did,” she quipped over the mug she was bringing to her lips. It was sweet but not too sweet, with cream but not too much, and still piping hot; just the way she liked it. “I don’t think it’s too far off,” she smiled before turning back to the coffee. “Good coffee,” she mused. “Just the way I like it.”

“Good. I texted Jeff for your order,” he informed her, the gesture being so thoughtful and sweet she could have melted into a puddle right there and then. “And I think ‘hero’ might be a bit much,” he tacked on.

“Don’t be humble, Harry.” While her voice was still light and held a jesting tone, she meant her words. “You made the entire internet leave me alone, for the most part,” she clarified as there were definitely some nasty messages still floating around Twitter, “in five words.”

“It was the least I could do,” he said while shaking his head slightly, seeming to deflect her words.

“You could have done absolutely nothing.” She reached across the table and grabbed his hand in hers like they had staged at the cafe a few days earlier; but this time, it was an honest gesture, not one for a role they were both meant to be playing. Her words were serious, punctuating each with a gentle nod of her head. “I mean it. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” His eyes held the same truthfulness and honesty she hoped she was mirroring in her own. “I know all of this,” he paused and gestured between them with his free hand, “is for publicity, but I consider you a friend. It was hard to watch it all go down like that. You’re a good person and you didn’t deserve all that. I had to do something.”

There was a warmth that flooded her chest. He called me his friend, she thought to herself, fighting back a big toothy grin. She had been under the impression that all of this was just work for him, something he was doing just to drum up publicity, with no personal connections at all. But him calling her a friend meant so much to her. It meant she was not alone in all this terrifying and overwhelming attention.

“I’m glad you think of me as a friend,” she said, still holding back her smile. “You’re my friend too.” He matched her close-lipped smile that had fought its way onto her face at her words.

They sat in silence together for a few moments. Harry returned to his book and Y/N answered emails; but their hands stayed connected across the small table. This silence was very different from the silence on the day they first met. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence that sat on your tongue, begging you to break the quiet; it was peaceful and safe.

Their silence was broken when a young woman wearing a jittery smile and nervous eyes approached their table. Her voice squeaked out a mouse-like “Hi,” towards the both of them, bringing their eyes up to meet hers and instinctively breaking their hands away from each other.

“I’m so so sorry to be a bother,” she began, cheeks red and hot. “But I’m a really big fan of both of you and I would never forgive myself if I didn’t say hello.” She rambled excitedly, mostly looking at Harry, as she held her slightly shaky hands up to her chest.

“Hello,” Harry said with one of his million dollar smiles. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Emma,” she breathed.

“Well, it’s so nice to meet you Emma.” He spoke gently with her, clearly sensing her anxiety, extending his hand for her to shake. “Thank you for all of your support.”

Y/N watched closely as he spoke with her. He spoke to her like she was the only person in the room, giving her his whole undivided attention, and repeatedly thanking her as she flooded him with compliments about how his music and message of kindness meant so much to her. She was so entranced that she nearly didn’t hear her own name being said as the girl turned towards her.

“I love your music as well,” she grinned, clearly more comfortable after her short conversation with Harry. “And your jumpsuit is just incredible.” Her nervous giggle was contagious, Y/N releasing one as well at the compliment as her cheeks heated slightly. She was shocked she even knew any of her music, clearly being the less popular of the pair.

“Thank you so much, Emma. It means a lot.”

Emma took a few quick selfies with the both of them (that would be everywhere within a few hours), said goodbye and went to leave the two, but not before she paid them one last compliment. “You two are really cute together. I’m rooting for you.”

Both of their cheeks warmed as they looked back at each other. They were quiet for a moment, unsure how to respond, before Harry turned his attention back to the girl with a coy smile. “I am too,” was all he said.

***

The next three weeks passed in a blur of tour rehearsals, fittings, and public meetings with Harry. And then all of a sudden, it was the night of the first show.

Y/N had never been so nervous in her entire life. She would be the first face seen by just over 19,000 people, tasked to warm up the crowd and prepare them for Harry, which was enough pressure. And then there was the chance that they all hated her guts.

She stood behind the curtain, listening to the loud and inpatient crowd as she paced back and forth. She white-knuckeld her guitar, trying to keep her violently shaking hands from being too visible to the crew around her. Her stomach swirled and her palms were clammy, constantly having to rub them on the pants of her icey blue jumpsuit. It fit her like a glove, the wide legged pants and slight shoulder pads, creating a perfect hourglass silhouette; the only thing she was confident in at the moment was how good she looked in it.

Her heart leapt out of her chest and she almost hit the ceiling when a small voice appeared over her shoulder, whispering “You’re going to do great,” in her ear. If her heart wasn’t about to give out before, it was now. She swung around to face him, almost hitting Harry with her guitar, letting out a small breath of relief when her eyes met his own. They always seemed to calm her down a bit.

“I’m kinda freaking out, H,” she anxiously babbled, using the nickname he had told her to call him. “This is the biggest crowd I’ve ever played in front of, and they probably all hate me because they think I’m dating you, and I have to make sure I do a good job so they start listening to my music; and I just…” she trailed off for a second, uncomfortably scratching the back of her neck, “I just can’t let you down.”

His face softened at her words, seeming to take pity on her. “Y/N,” he began, resting his hands on her shoulders and looking so deep into her eyes she felt like he could probably see her soul. “We picked you to open because people love your music and the way that you perform. You just have to go out there and do what you do best: sing your heart out and put on a good show. It’s only 25 minutes. I know you can do it.”

Every word that left his lips was laced with honesty and encouragement; just enough for Y/N to relax her furrowed brow and give her lip a break from her constant chewing. “I can do it,” she softly repeated back to him, still not breaking contact with his striking green eyes.

A stage manager passed by them, running to some other important task, but not before tapping her shoulder. “You’re on in 30 seconds,” he spoke, just as she heard the roar of the crowd begin, signalling the dimming of the lights in the arena.

“Go kick some ass,” he winked, stepping backwards from her and releasing her from his grasp. “I’ll be watching.”

Walking on stage, she wasn’t met with ‘boo’s that had plagued her nightmares, or mean looks from the audience, or rotten tomatoes thrown from the crowd.

They were screaming in excitement, screaming for her.

From the second she started playing, the crowd had her back; the ones that knew the words to her songs sang them along with her, and the ones that didn’t, happily danced to her voice. Before long, the smile she had forced onto her face was genuine, and her set passed by with ease. When her 25 minutes were up, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to get off the stage.

She took her final bow as the crowd roared, running off of the stage into the wings, looking for one person in particular. And when she found him, she threw herself into Harry’s open and waiting arms. “I told you that you were going to do great!” He spoke excitedly into her ear and he held her close to his body, his arms wrapped around her waist tight.

She liked the way it felt to be in his arms.

Pulling away from him, she saw the massive grin that he wore for her, noting how adorable his dimples were and how the excited look in his eyes made him look like a little kid. But there was more to his face than excitement, he looked proud.

“They were so nice to me, and they knew my songs, and they were screaming so loud for me, and it just went so well. I can’t believe it!” Her previous anxious chatter had become an exhilarated rambling and she felt on top of the world.

“I can,” he grinned, looking down at his watch quickly. “I have to go get changed.” If she wasn’t so amped up, she might have noticed the disappointment that flashed over his features. “Promise me you’ll watch the show?”

“Pinky swear?” She stuck up her little finger in the air.

“Pinky swear.” He kept their pinkies locked for a moment too long, then released her hand and ran backstage to get dressed.

She kept her promise and watched with excitement as the building shook when Harry took the stage.

She had never heard something quite so loud, sure her ears would be ringing when she snuggled into her bunk on the tour bus that night. Watching him perform was mesmerizing; he knew how to work a stage in every way and make every person in the arena feel like he was singing just for them. He was larger than life while performing and his little dances and mannerisms only got more pronounced the more comfortable he got on stage. He messed with Mitch, who she had only met a few hours ago (he was very nice), and constantly praised Sarah on the drums behind him, while he looked over to Adam and sent him smiles often.

Everyone in the building came for a show, and boy, did he give them one. It was amazing to watch. There was a reason she was a fan.

Bouncing off the stage, full of adrenaline and in a post-show high, he came to find her. It wasn’t hard, as she had never left her spot on the side of the stage, unable to rip her eyes away from the man before her.

“Oh my god, Harry! That was incredible!” she said with delighted amazement.

“I’m glad you liked it.” He was smiling down at her with a big toothy grin, a hand running through his sweaty hair and pushing it off his forehead. “They only get better from here.”

***

He was telling the truth. The shows only got crazier and more exciting as the tour went on, and so did their “relationship.”

About five shows in, Jeff had Harry given her his “H” ring to start wearing. Harry didn’t seem too phased by it all even though she thought it might be too much, saying “it’s like a friendship bracelet.” But it was too big for her fingers, not because she had small hands, but because Harry’s were absolutely massive. She wore it on a chain around her neck from then on and made sure to always be seen playing with it.

Fans took notice and loved it.

A little after that, Jeff sent them off to get matching manicures. Both had a melting rainbow of oranges, pinks, and browns on their fingertips, which looked amazing in the paparazzi photos of them walking around with their fingers intertwined.

The fans loved that too.

But when she “accidentally” posted a photo of Harry on her story, the entire world lost it’s shit. In the photo, he laid sprawled across a bed in only a white hotel robe that was creeping dangerously high up his thigh. He looked sleepy and slightly sweaty, in a post-fuck haze, and clothes that looked very similar to ones she had been seen wearing in public only days before were strewn across the floor. The caption read “I love getting to love you.”

The photo had strategically only been up for about 30 seconds, but by the time it was deleted thousands of people had seen it and screenshots had been taken. They quickly circulated the internet, creating a bit of scandal. But more than anything, people began to love the two of them together even more. Harry looked genuinely happy in the photo, and for most of his fans, that was all that mattered.

They were creating a fairytale love story for an audience, but she would be lying if she said she wasn’t enjoying her role. She quite liked being his “girlfriend.”

Harry and Y/N had a way of clicking as they grew closer–quite literally as they were crammed together on a tour bus most of the time. They seemed to be able to finish each other’s sentences and always beat the other to the punchline of a joke. The pair had begun to pick up on the other��s mannerisms and habits; Y/N always teasing that Harry was going to rub his nose off one day if he kept rubbing it while he was thinking and Harry always knowing when she got enough sleep by whether or not she had put on eyeliner that morning. They swapped playlists back and forth in their bunks as they tried to doze off and always grabbed a cup of coffee for whoever had decided to sleep in the next day, now knowing the other’s order by heart.

There was only one thing she didn’t know about him that she longed to discover: what his lips felt like against her own. She could never think too hard about it though, or she may just explode.

He had become a calming presence and was currently helping her keep her cool, even though she knew the pair of interviewers across the table were getting ready to grill the pair for every detail they could get. His hand had settled on top of her knee to quell it’s nervous bouncing, but remained after she had stopped, even though no one could see his touch under the table. She watched as his thumb ran itself back and forth along the leg of her flashy orange and yellow patterned overalls and she had a hard time pulling her gaze away when the radio host across the large table began to speak.

“So Harry,” the bald man began. “Fine Line has been one of the biggest albums of the year and I just have to say I love it. It’s truly incredible.” She listened as the man continued on to sing Harry’s praises, going on to list his grammy nominations, sold out world tour, and other accolades. She couldn’t help but smile as she watched his cheeks tinge pink with the praise. She knew anyone watching would pick up on her adoring look and people fawn over it, but she knew her gaze was nothing but truthful.

“Thank you very much,” he said shyly, shaking his head slightly as he spoke into the microphone suspended in front of his face. “You’re too kind.”

“Stop being humble,” she teased him, playfully tapping him on the arm. “All of his music is fantastic,” she said turning her attention back to the man across from them, “especially Fine Line.”

“And there’s Y/N, being the supportive girlfriend,” the man chuckled.

“I support him in everything he does,” she smiled back, not having to embellish the truth at all. “He is an amazing talent and I think Fine Line shows that.”

It wasn’t hard for her to gush about him. It was actually quite easy. She absolutely adored him, as an artist, a friend, and the focus of her affection. She felt an equal warmth in her cheeks as she watched his get even pinker with her compliments.

“That’s actually something we wanted to ask you about,” the blonde woman sitting next to him piped up, a mischievous glint in her eyes that sent nervous butterflies flying around Y/N’s stomach. “One of the songs on Fine Line, Cherry to be specific, actually features the voice of Harry’s ex, Camille. How does that make you feel as his new girl?”

Y/N did her best not to gag at the woman’s question, gritting her teeth as she plastered on a polite smile. “Well, I think Cherry is a really great song and her voice at the end adds a lot,” she spoke as smoothly as she could, refusing to let on that the question rattled her. Harry’s light squeeze on her knee signalled to her that she had answered the question well.

“It’s also been three years since the song was written,” Harry cut in. “Things are obviously a lot different now.” He connected their eyes for a second while he was leaning back into his seat, sending her a short smile, but she knew him well enough to know it was genuine.

“Oh, definitely,” the woman eagerly agreed. “You’re in a great new relationship with a beautiful girl on your arm.”

“Y/N,” he emphasized her name as the woman had referred to her as a possession of his for a second time, “and I are very happy. Thank you.” To an onlooker, he was calm. To her, he was visibly uncomfortable by her words.

Y/N began to notice a clear pattern as the interview went on. Harry was asked exclusively about his music and the tour, while Y/N only became relevant to their interviewers when they wanted to mention their relationship.

When the man asked Y/N if she felt uncomfortable playing to Harry’s mainly female fanbase every night that are “so obviously jealous of her,” something snapped inside of her, sending all her hours of media training out the window. “I’m not uncomfortable at all,” she said curtly. “His music is great and he puts on an awesome show. I don’t think the audience’s gender really has anything to do with the music.” She watched the man’s face fall before she decided to go on. “And I would like to think that at least a few of them are there for me too. You do know I make music too, right?”

An indignant smirk found its way to her lips as the man stammered out, “yes, of course.”

“Okay. I was just wondering since you have only asked me questions about our relationship since we got here.”

She knew Jeff wouldn’t be happy, but at the moment, she couldn’t care less. They may not have really been dating, but the interviewers didn’t know that. All of their dismissal of her and her career was 100% real.

She had been so worked up that she didn’t even realize Harry’s hand had left her knee until it found its way to rest on her back. She leaned into his touch as he rubbed her back softly while she crossed her arms in front of her.

The interviewers looked at the two of them across the table, jaws both lying on the floor. It was quiet until Harry nonchalantly spoke. “She has a point.”

The last few minutes of the interview passed in an awkward blur that felt suffocating. She felt like she could finally take in a deep breath once they were in the back of a massive SUV being driven away from the studio.

“Jeff is going to have my head,” she mumbled under her breath, nose stuck into her phone as she scrolled Twitter to see what people were saying about her outburst. But before she could read any opinions, Harry's tattooed arm blocked her view as he gently pushed her phone down onto her lap.

“Look at me,” he murmured, beckoning her attention to the other side of the back seat. When she connected her eyes with his, his usual calming aura took over her, softening the stressed crease between her brows. “It’s going to be okay.”

“Harry, I just blew my career up into smoke because I couldn’t deal with a rude interviewer,” she huffed at him.

“No,” he disagreed softly, moving the hand that rested on her arms to interlock his fingers with one of hers. “You stuck up for yourself to people who were ignoring your work and whittling you down to your relationship.”

“But it was rude.”

“It was necessary.”

The car ride to the venue for that night’s concert was quiet, but Harry never let go of her hand, brushing his thumb over her knuckles in a comforting touch. She wasn’t sure if she ever wanted him to let go.

***

It was the early hours of the morning by the time the pair returned to their tour bus and went to crawl into their bunks.

Her performance had gone well and Harry was mesmerizing (as always). He was truly hypnotizing to watch while he performed and she hadn’t missed watching him yet, even as they drew close to the end of the tour. It was the best part of her day and she would miss it dearly after the last show.

She was almost asleep, curtain drawn and cuddled under a pile of blankets, when her cell began to ring. Her heart sank, knowing only one person who would know when she had a sliver of free time (even though it’s debatable if sleeping counts as free time). She was going to get scolded like she was a little kid in the principal's office and she knew it.

“Hi Jeff,” she answered with a sigh as she pulled the curtain back and slid from the bunk, the cold air of the tour bus nipping at her legs.

Her gaze was met by a snuggled up Harry wearing a concerned face across from her in his own bed. He never closed the curtain, not even when she asked politely to muffle his snores, always saying something about how it made him claustrophobic. He sent her a tired smile and mouthed “good luck,” extending a hand for a fist bump as she passed. Knocking their knuckles together put a brief smile on her face before she buckled in for the chewing out she was about to get.

Harry watched her intently as she paced up and down the front of the tour bus as she spoke to Jeff, too far away for him to listen in. Her face gradually turned from anxious, to surprised, to something that would have probably been happiness if she wasn’t so tired.

“Alright, thank you for everything.” She spoke softly when she finally returned to be within earshot for him. “Goodnight Jeff.”

“So?” he murmured groggily at her, brows raised in question at her.

“People loved it,” she said shocked, like she didn’t fully believe it herself. “They think I’m some kind of badass for shutting down a sexist. Which is, like, a lot,” she spoke with a disbelieving chuckle, unable to find the right words in her groggy state. “I don’t really know what to make of it.”

Harry seemed to spring up from his spot in his bed, smacking his head on the top of the bunk in the process, prompting them both to dissolve into a puddle of giggles.

“Don’t get too excited for me,” she laughed. “I cannot be the reason that you hurt yourself and have to cancel a show.”

“I was just too excited to say ‘I told you so,’” he smirked, now rubbing the side of his head through his curls.

“Cocky bastard,” she sarcastically murmured under her breath while dramatically rolling her eyes.

She watched with confusion as Harry left his bed, and after a short and frantic search for his pajama pants so he wouldn’t “offend her eyes,” he moved towards the front of the bus. Her eyes trailed him as he bent down to the small mini fridge and pulled out two beers.

“We have to celebrate.”

It was 2 AM and she had been so ready for bed after a long day. But she knew she could never say no to him. She thanked god that they had a day off tomorrow.

After retrieving her massive and lovingly worn Grateful Dead sweatshirt to protect her from the chilly air, she nearly ran to the front of the bus. His painted pink fingers moved with skill as he popped the bottle caps off with one of his rings, handing it to her and gently nudging his bottle against hers.

“Cheers,” he murmured softly as he looked down at her with a kindhearted smile.

“Cheers,” she seemed to whisper back to him, a flutter in her stomach reminding her how badly she wanted to reach out and connect her lips to his. Instead she slid into the small booth across from him, taking a long sip from the bottle as she watched him do the same.

“I want you to know that I was really proud of you today,” he said as he put his beer down on the table. “Rude interviewers are never easy and you handled it like a champ.”

“Thank you, H,” she nodded, suddenly bashful and unable to make eye contact with him. Her cheeks burned hot as she put all her focus into tracing the rim of the bottle with her finger tip.

“Hey,” he called for her attention and her eyes snapped up to meet his. “I mean it, Y/N.”

“I know you do,” she gently nodded at him. “I’m just really happy they didn’t ask about my ex,” she chuckled as she took another sip. “That would have gone very poorly.”

“Oh yeah, I was a little annoyed they brought up my ex but not yours,” he teased. “Not fair if you ask me.”

“Well, then I’m glad no one asked you.”

“Can I ask you?”

“What?”

“About your ex.”

She should have been prepared to talk about it with Harry at some point. Half of this plan had been devised to get back at James anyway. She should be able to talk about it by now, especially with someone she had grown so close to.

“I guess so,” she shrugged, trying to seem casual like the mere mention of him didn’t still hurt her heart a little bit. “What do you want to know?”

“As much as you’re willing to tell me.”

He looked soft like this, eyes slightly sleepy with a tenderness in them as he looked back at her. His hair was unruly and puffy and he was wrapped in the powder blue blanket that lived on the tour bus’ couch. She would have told him anything that he ever wanted to hear if he kept looking like this.

With a deep breath, she began to recount everything that went down.

“I met James while I was still working as a waitress. I recognized him from his movies and started a conversation, and then–to my surprise–he asked me out on a date. I had been in LA for three weeks and this insanely famous actor is asking me to go out with him, so I obviously said yes.” She paused to take a swig of her beer, before mumbling under her breath, “I should have said ‘fuck no’ to that.”

A smile ghosted over her lips as she listened to Harry’s laugh across the table. She swore that laugh could cure cancer.

“But I didn’t,” she continued. “He introduced me to the right people and helped me make the right connections in the industry, which I guess made me feel indebted to him. Does that make sense?”

“Of course,” Harry nodded, eyebrows furrowed and listening intently.

“I should have broken up with him after I signed with Jeff and the label, however awful that sounds. But he just always knew the right things to say to make me feel special and like I was the most important person in the world. Even after I found out he was talking to other girls, he was somehow able to talk himself out of it.” She shook her head as she recalled it. “You wanna hear something fucked up?”

“Always,” he said with a gentle smirk.

“He proposed to me using lines from a romcom he was working on.”

Harry nearly spit out his drink. “Holy shit, you’re kidding!”

“I wish. I didn’t find out until I went with him to the premier a few months later and the proposal scene sounded surprisingly familiar.”

“What a dirtbag.”

“I know, right?” she laughed. “Then a few weeks after that, he got papped with his tongue down another girl’s throat. That finally knocked some sense into me and I ran for the hills.”

“Fuck,” he sighed as he finished his beer. “I��m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she breathed. “I don’t even feel hurt by him anymore, ya know? I just feel angry at myself for trusting him.”

“I understand but it’s not your fault he was a piece of shit,” he said as he rose from his seat and traveled to the mini fridge once again. “Another?” he asked, holding the bottle up about his head.

“Fuck it,” she shrugged. “Sure.”

She watched him skillfully pop off the tops again using just his rings, making a mental note to make him teach her how he did that, before he flopped back down in his seat.

“At the risk of sounding like a Facebook mom, ‘you grow through what you go through,’” she chuckled, taking another long sip as she finished her first. He matched her high pitched giggle across the table and she nearly drooled beer down her front from smiling so wide.

“Amen, sister,” he agreed, raising his beer in the air.

“Oh, that was awful.” She shook her head as she descended into giggles. “Please never say that again.”

“Noted.”

“Anyway,” she began again after another sip of her drink, “I was well prepared to get my heartbroken by untrustworthy men after you, Styles.”

“I’m offended–tell me more,” he spoke quickly, his signature narcissistic smirk settling onto his features.

“I need you to know that Zayn leaving was my first real heartbreak.”

“Were the rest of us chopped liver?”

“You weren’t Zayn, I can tell you that.”

“Ouch!” He let out a loud belly laugh.

“Put yourself in my shoes for a minute, H. So first, the hottest-”

“Rude-”

“-I’m speaking. So the hottest one leaves, and then the rest of you are all like ‘we’ll be back in 18 months,’” she mocked him in a high pitched impersonation with a wave, “and then 6 months later you all mysteriously have solo careers.”

“I do not see you complaining about my solo career now, ya fame leetch.” He spoke with such humor and charisma, she couldn’t have even wished to be offended by his joke.

“Absolutely not, sir,” she said sternly, giving him a dramatic salute. “Deepest apologies from the fame leetch.” The two collapsed into giggles, laughing until their sides began to ache.

“Wait, I have a question for mega superstar Mr. Harry Styles of former One Direction fame,” she announced.

“I believe that’s me,” he bowed his head and raised his hand into the hair. “Shoot.”

She barely could get the question out, laughing too hard at her own joke. “Is Taylor Swift a good kisser?”

“Oh god,” he exasperatedly threw his hands in the air, chuckling while rolling his eyes dramatically before grinning wide as he thought over his answer. “I don’t kiss and tell,” he finally smirked.

“Wait, I have another!”

“Watch it, smart ass.”

“You think I’m smart?” she teased as she feigned flattery. “Have you ever heard of a song called ‘English Love Affair?’” He narrowed his eyes at her, a knowing smirk crossing his lips as he shook his head at her. “Also, when do I get to meet Gemma?”

“I’ll consider it when you stop bringing up her sex life, perv.”

“We’ve been dating for a few months now,” she teased as she continued to prod, emboldened by the liquid courage running through her veins as she was now half way through her next beer. “I think I should be allowed to meet the family soon. They seem delightful.”

“They would love how you have decided to rip into me like this,” he said with a cheeky smile, dimples on full display.

“Rockstars have to get knocked down a peg every once in a while.” She sarcastically shrugged. “Consider it a favor.”

She couldn’t help but think about how right this felt. Their back and forth flowed so smoothly, the banter falling from their lips without effort. Their laughter joined together in a delightful melody and she imagined they could go on this way all night.

Spending any amount of time with him made her so fucking happy; and time spent teasing each other over beers caused her to nearly explode with joy. How much she was enjoying herself was too hard to put into words.

He was safe and he was kind and he made her laugh no matter how bad his jokes were.

He was her best friend.

And for the first time, she was willing to admit that she was in love with him.

“Harry,” she hummed softly as their laughter died down to a comfortable silence. “Thank you for everything. You’ve changed my life forever and I can never repay you.”

“Just remember me when you get famous.”

“Oh shut up, I’m being serious,” she playfully scolded before letting her tone drop back into honesty. “You’re a very good person and I’m eternally grateful for you letting me be your opening act and then agreeing to this whole relationship charade.”

“I didn’t ‘let’ you be anything, Y/N. I picked you myself.”

Her brows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I listened to your album when it came out and fell in love with it,” he shrugged, his casual tone contradicting the surprised raise of her pulse. “When I found out Jeff also managed you, I knew I had to have you on the tour.”

Y/N was honestly stunned. She had always assumed that the tour was Jeff’s doing, a careful arrangement pairing Full Stop’s new up-and-comer with their most famous and established talent. Being offered the tour had been the biggest opportunity and honor she had ever been presented with; but she had never considered Harry himself being behind it.

“Oh,” was all she could manage to get out.

It was now his turn to be confused. “What’s so surprising about that?” he asked, reading the shock on her face like she was an open book.

“I just,” she stammered, trying to find the words in her slightly hazy state. “I never would have thought you knew who I was or listened to my music.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know,” she trailed off. “You’re you, and I’m just... me, I guess.”

He didn’t respond right away, just looking at her intently and slightly amused, sea glass eyes boring into her with a pink lip held between his teeth.

He scanned her frame, from the way her hair sat messily on top of her head and the way the massive sweatshirt swallowed her body enough to where she had pulled her knees up to her chest underneath it. Her shoulders were slumped slightly, making her appear smaller as she held her legs close to her torso and her eyebrows were knitted together in worry, slightly nervous under his intense gaze.

She downed the rest of her beer in an attempt to forget his intense attention. It didn’t work.

“You really don’t know how incredible you are, do you?” he finally asked, the corner of his lips twitching into a small smile.

She felt her whole body burn with his compliment, wanting to shrink into herself and disappear completely from his view. She finally shook her head slightly in an attempt to deflect his words, breathing his name under her breath as if to scold him for being too kind.

“You are,” he insisted, ignoring her objection. “You’re so talented and your music deserves all the attention that it gets. I am honored that I get to play a part in helping expose the world to you and what you have to offer.”

“Thank you.” Her words came out as a whisper.

“You’re welcome, love.”

His pet name made her stomach turn in a nervous excitement and a wide grin involuntarily came to her lips.

“I like it when I make you smile like that.” His words only made her beam further. “You look very pretty when you smile.”

“Stop it,” she said softly, cheeks burning hot and having a hard time making eye contact with him.

“Stop what?” He feigned innocence as he lightly teased her, smirk still prominent on his features.

“Are you flirting with me, Styles?”

“Just practicing.”

His words rang through her mind long after they had left the table and crawled back into their bunks for the night. She wished she could see inside his head to understand whatever thoughts were running around his brain.

But for now she could just peak at him through the gap she had purposely left in her curtain, wondering if she ever popped into his dreams as he slept.

He was always in hers.

***

There was a sadness mixed in with her usually thrilled mood as she took the stage for the last show of the tour. While there was an element of relief as she looked forward to some well needed rest, the adrenaline and joy of being in front of a crowd was something that she would miss dearly. She had grown into a real performer over the last two months as they zig-zagged across the US and this period of time would have a special place in her heart long after it had ended.

But there was another reason why she was so sad to see this chapter come to an end. As far as she knew, a staged breakup was not far away and the thought of being without Harry was heartbreaking. He had become her person and soon their feux falling out would be on the front page of every magazine. She wanted nothing more in the world than for their relationship to be real, but it would be forced to end before it had even truely started.

She got choked up as she sang her final song that night, letting a few tears escape as she took in the thousands of people singing her lyrics back to her, flashlights swaying in the air to the beat of the music. Taking a move from Harry’s own playbook, she took her mic and directed it to the crowd to sing as she cried. The vibrations of the drums and bass behind her nestled it’s way into her bones and the chorus of singing voices in the crowd surrounded her in a bittersweet melody.

The past two months she had been on top of the world, and as soon as this song finished, it was the beginning of the end.

She took her final bow, watching as the small tears fell forward onto the dusty stage below her. She waved and blew kisses to the crowd, then nearly ran off the stage looking for the only person she wanted to see.

Harry was right where he always was, just out of view behind the curtain, holding his arms out for her to fall into.

“Awe, babe,” he hummed sympathetically when she settled her head onto his chest, surely ruining his crisp white t-shirt with her now wet makeup. “It’s okay. Final shows are always tough.” He rubbed her back gently, in a soothing rhythm.

He smelled so good. He smelled like home.

She tilted her head up to connect her glassy eyes with his. “I just don’t want this all to end.” She knew she wasn’t just talking about the tour.

“Neither do I,” he said as his lips curved into a devilish smirk that sent her heart into palpitations. “That’s why I have one last surprise for you.”

“Oh, Harry,” she sighed while wiping the remaining tears off her cheeks. “What have you done?”

“You said you liked surprises!” he defended.

“Not surprises in front of 20,000 people!”

“I promise you’re going to love this one, okay?” His voice was softer now, encouraging and supportive. “You’re going to come out and sing an extra song with me during my set,” he revealed.

“Sing what?”

“That’s the surprise.”

“Do I even know the words?”

“You definitely know the words,” he chuckled.

“I just finished sobbing. I can’t go out there like this.”

“You can fix your makeup. I believe in you.”

“What am I going to wear?” she asked, grasping at straws at this point, doing anything she could to get out of this.

“I had Lambert put something together for you.”

“Of course you did.”

She peppered him with a few more questions, but he had a smooth and charming answer to every single one. He had thought every detail out, and as always, she couldn’t say no to him.

“Fine,” she finally exasperatedly agreed, immediately met with his excited and dimpled smile that she had fallen head over heels for.

“Perfect,” he breathed. “I have to go get ready and so do you. I already put everything you need in your dressing room, okay?” She nodded, still biting her lip anxiously. He held her by her shoulders, lowering his head to match their eye level as he leaned in close, before he spoke. “You’re going to have fun. I promise.”

“Pinky swear?”

“Pinky swear.”

Seconds after they locked their little fingers together, he pressed a quick and protective kiss to her forehead that set her whole body ablaze before running off in the direction of his dressing room. She remained stunned and frozen in her spot for a few moments trying to process what it felt like to have his lips on her for the first time since that very first day they had met.

There was no audience to perform it for or an act to keep up behind the curtain. He kissed her because he wanted to.

She was finally snapped out of her daze when a stagehand bumped into her by accident, prompting her to begin the short walk back to her dressing room. But the ghost of his lips remained on her forehead, an incessant tingle placed there by his touch.

The dress she found waiting for her was one of the most beautiful gowns she had ever set her eyes on. Made of a light purple chiffon, the wrap dress’ long sleeves and floor length skirt flowed freely. A belt cinched the wispy fabric close to her waist and a deep-v exposed her neck and chest. But the most dazzling part of the dress were the red sequined hearts that dotted the fabric and reflected the light of the dressing room like a million little mirrors.

Slipping into it, the light fabric was soft against her skin, opaque enough but still slightly sheer to let light through and show off her legs and the bright red shiny pumps Lambert had left for her. She felt the most beautiful she had ever felt in this dress, boosting her confidence and quelling her nerves about whatever the hell Harry was planning.

“One minute to curtain,” was announced in an ominous voice over the arena’s backstage speakers as she finished fixing her makeup and she all but ran to make it back to the stage in time. She only had one more chance to watch him perform and she refused to miss a second of it.

Harry dazzled as the lights focused in on him, his deep blue and fully sequined suit reflecting the light and turning him into a human disco ball. He stood close to the edge of the stage as the beginning notes of the first song began being played by the band, but he made no move towards his mic stand to sing. His eyes were closed and his arms were outstretched to the audience, taking in every scream, every tear, and the thunderous shake of the building; but also giving himself to them.

Then the show began. As usual, he was electric, but tonight was like he had turned himself up to eleven. Every note he sang was full of his heart and every dance move was done with his entire body, even his bad jokes seemed funnier tonight.

She was so mesmerized she almost forgot about his ‘surprise.’ Almost.

“Since tonight is unfortunately our last show,” he pouted. “I thought I would do something special,” he spoke to the crowd as they roared, but quickly connected his eyes with her’s in the wings. By the smirk plastered on his face, she knew she was in for it.

“I recently found out that someone very close to me was a very big fan of…” he trailed off as he dramatically pretended to search for the right words, “my previous work.” He finished with a smirk and his words prompted the loudest reaction since he had been on stage.

“Now, I told her that she would be coming on stage to join me tonight, but I didn’t exactly tell her what we would be singing and I haven’t performed this song in a very long time, so cut us some slack if we mess up. This is very unrehearsed.” He kept sneaking glances back to her, as her eyes grew wider at the stunt he was currently pulling. “But I know for a fact that she knows all the words. I listen to her sing them in the shower quite often.” He wore a cheeky dimpled grin as he looked back at her once again.

The building was shaking due to the suspense he was creating, and looking down at her hands, she realized she was to. She gripped hard onto the mic a stagehand had just shoved at her, pleading with her hands to stop their tremors.

“Now, I would love it if you could all give another warm welcome to one of my favorite people on the planet, Y/N Y/L/N!” He turned his body to her for a final time, extending his hand out for her to take. Her legs felt like jello as she walked out into the bright lights towards him, interlocking her fingers with his as a way to keep her on her feet.

The audience’s screams were deafening at seeing the two of them together and she thanked god she had her earpieces in to protect her ear drums or they would have surely burst. She could only imagine the articles that would be written about this and the thousands of tweets that were probably already being sent.

“I’m gonna kick your ass,” she mouthed at him threateningly, but she couldn’t even get through the sentence before his dazzling smile began to quell her anxiety.

“The look on your face is 100% worth getting my ass kicked,” he answered smoothly before turning his attention back to the audience. “Everyone, sing along if you know the words,” he commanded their attention. “This is Ready to Run.”

Her jaw dropped and the crowd roared as the band behind her began to play the first few chords of the song she loved and knew so well. She had admitted it a few days ago that it was one of her favorites of his ‘previous work,’ but apparently he already knew that from the few showers she had taken on the tour bus.

“There’s a lightning in your eyes I can’t deny,” he began by himself, her brain still too shocked to jump in yet. He sang the first few lines to her with a giant grin plastered on his face, hand still holding tight to hers. His eyes had a playful glint in them that seemed to say ‘just have fun.’

“There’s a devil in your smile, it’s chasing me,” she finally began to sing, Harry fading his voice out so she could take the next few lines by herself as he admired her.

He did have a devilish smile, but it was one she loved with her entire heart. As she began to sing, she felt her muscles begin to relax into the song she had sung to herself so many times before, letting her body begin to bounce to the growing rhythm as her dress flowed around her.

The stage vibrated as Sarah beat her drums to introduce the chorus. “This time I’m ready to run, escape from the city and follow the sun,” the pair sang together, eyes still locked as their voices combined into the most perfect tune. “Cause I wanna be yours, don’t you wanna be mine?” they continued the lyrics. She felt herself meaning the words leaving her mouth more and more as they went on. She did want to be his, she couldn’t deny that. “I don’t wanna get lost in the dark of the night.”

Her apprehensiveness eased further as the music picked up and the hook went on, finally allowing herself to have a bit of fun. “Wherever you are is the place I belong,” they insisted towards each other, leaning in close before Harry grabbed her hand to dramatically spin her, the beautiful shining fabric of her dress splaying out around her. The next line was mumbled through giggles by both of them, but their laughter only added to the perfect moment they were having.

They danced across the stage together like there weren’t 20,ooo pairs of eyes watching them, both singing their hearts out to each other. It began to feel like they weren’t even there. It was just Y/N and Harry, serenading each other to one of her favorite songs.

“There’s a future in my eyes I can’t foresee,” she sang to him to start the second verse.

“Unless, of course, I stay on course and keep you next to me.” Harry grabbed her by her waist and pulled her into his side as he sang the words, prompting more giggles from her. She loved the way he smiled so wide as he sang, never breaking his eye contact with her and emitting pure joy. His eyes looked honest as he sang, like he meant every word just as much as she did.

The pair made their way through the rest of the verse and second chorus, flawlessly moving around the stage like they owned it. Y/N selfishly decided to let him have the bridge all to himself, needing to hear the way his beautiful voice hit the high notes. “This time I’m ready to run,” he sang passionately, executing the downward moving riff perfectly. “I’d give everything that I got for your love,” he pointed across the stage towards her, beckoning her back close to him. She quickly skipped to him at his request.

Like she had blinked, the song was already nearing its end.

“Cause I wanna be free and I wanna be young, I’ll never look back now I’m ready to run,” they belted the last lines out to each other. The band fell quiet on their last chord and the crowd exploded, but their noise fell on deaf ears as the pair stood so close their heaving chests were almost pressed up against each other. His eyes stared down into hers and she watched as his eyes flickered quickly down to her lips.

The world ceased to exist when he pressed his mouth to hers, even if it only lasted a second. It was nothing more than a peck, but it was everything to her. Her body igniting with heat and eyes full of shock, she looked back at him in simultaneous confusion and adoration, before realizing they had been staring at each other for too long. She needed to get off the stage so he could continue with his show. She walked back slowly towards the wings, letting the hand he had still been holding fall to her side. She waved and smiled to the crowd the best she could in her clouded mind.

“Thank you everyone!” she shouted into her mic as she moved out of their view. She shoved her mic into the first set of hands that would take it as she wobbled her way over to a table with water bottles. She nearly choked as she tried to suck one down, hoping it would ease the dizzy feeling he had created with his lips. Her lips burned just as her forehead had earlier in the night.

He had kissed her. He had sang a love song with her and then he had kissed her. She couldn’t decipher if that kiss was a confirmation that he shared the same feelings for her or if it was just another act for the cameras. But his mouth felt so right against hers. They fit together like a pair of puzzle pieces. She tried to suppress the optimistic hope that rose in her chest, but it began to swallow her whole.

When she heard his next song begin, she made her way back to the spot that had become hers at the side of the stage. She watched him perform the rest of the show in a loving haze, doe eyed and hypnotized, lips still buzzing from his contact.

He gave it his all. By the last song he was out of breath, drenched in sweat, and looked like he was about to pass out at any second. The crowd applauded for minutes after he left the stage and they were still cheering when she finally caught sight of him again. His curls were stuck to his forehead and his skin was shiny and flushed. He was panting, still trying to recover from his workout of a finale show; but he was beaming. His smile seemed to turn him into a beacon, emitting a light and positive energy that drew everyone backstage towards him.

She was so transfixed on Harry as he thanked the crew and accepted congratulations from all around that she just about jumped out of her skin when Jeff slinked up behind her and whispered ‘boo’ in her ear.

“What the fuck, Jeff,” she chuckled as she caught her breath, resting her hand on her chest and feeling her racing heartbeat.

“I just wanted to congratulate you on being half of the best fake couple out there,” he teased. “That kiss was perfect. People are losing their minds over it.”

“Oh,” she said softly, feeling every emotion she was distracted from while watching Harry rush back into her. Her heart sank as she remembered all the questions that continued to haunt her since she got off stage. “Thanks,” she murmured, plastering a smile onto her face. “I’m glad we could make you proud.”

“If you two could convince me, you can convince anyone.” Jeff walked off moments later, leaving her to sit in her confused thoughts as he disappeared into the hoards of bodies waiting for their minute with Harry.

She knew that she didn’t ‘convince’ Jeff of anything on her part. Everything she did with Harry was authentic and truthful. Including the thrilled grin that appeared on her face when she finally made eye contact with the exhausted man across the room. She gave him a shy wave that he sheepishly returned, biting back a shy smile. He pointed in the direction of his dressing room and mouthed “meet me in 15.”

She could never say no to him.

Fifteen minutes later, she was knocking on the large wooden door that had a single piece of paper that read STYLES haphazardly taped onto it. When it finally flew open, she was met by a soaking wet Harry with a towel hanging dangerously low on his hips. Her eyes trailed down his body without permission, taking in the toned torso that was decorated with his beautiful tattoos. Her eyes hovered over the two ferns that sat on his pelvis, too fascinated with the dark ink to pull her eyes away just yet.

She had obviously seen him in various states of undress before. They lived together on a tour bus without much space to exist with privacy, but this was different. He wasn’t rushing to get dressed or quickly changing his outfit. And he wasn’t moving away from her gaze at all.

If she hadn’t been so entranced by him, she would have noticed he was looking her up and down in the exact same manner.

She had changed since she had seen him last. The skin-tight black velvet romper she had brought along for the afterparty now fit her snuggly and held her every curve. The dark fabric was tight and appeared almost painted on, a rainbow racing stripe making its way down either side of her chest. The short shorts of the outfit exposed nearly all of her legs and the deep neckline put much of her chest on display as well. It’s long sleeves were her favorite part, as a strip of fringe dangled from below her arms any time she moved.

“You look great,” Harry finally choked out, his voice pulling their eyes back up to the other’s face.

“Oh, thanks,” she said, slightly awkwardly. “You too.”

“Well, I’m hopefully not going to the after party dressed like this,” he chuckled before stepping aside and ushering her into the room.

His dressing room was much larger than hers and she settled herself on the brown leather couch in the corner as she waited for him to get ready, sneaking glances up from her phone often. She chuckled as she watched him spend far too long fussing with his curls in the mirror, but was quickly distracted by the way his back and arms flexed when he reached up to muse his hair. Once he was satisfied with the way it fell, he disappeared into the bathroom at the back of the room. When he emerged, he was finally dressed, allowing her to take a deep breath and to focus on something other than his bare skin for the first time since he had opened the door.

The black satin suit was simple for him, but the tight white tank top that sat underneath hugged every muscle in his torso. She knew as soon as he got in the hot club, he would lose the jacket, and she would be devastatingly distracted once again.

The narcissist took one final look at himself in the mirror before turning to her and extending a hand. “Ready, darling?”

“You just spent 15 minutes exclusively on your hair and you’re asking me if I’m ready?” she teased as she took his hand, weaving her fingers between his as they exited the room together.

He leaned down close to her ear as they walked down the now mostly empty hallway, lips brushing over the hollow of her ear as he spoke. “I could have done it faster, but you were so obviously enjoying the show.”

“Relax yourself, Magic Mike,” she muttered indignantly, but hung her head in a way she hoped he couldn’t see how flustered he made her. Was she really that obvious?

They walked hand in hand out to the parking garage, now caught in a back and forth about whether or not Harry could be a male stripper. He said yes. She said no, although she did admit at one point that he worked his mic stand like a pole.

“Hey Jeff,” he called when they finally reached the parking garage where Jeff and Glenne had been waiting for them to head to the club. “Do you think I could be a stripper?”

“I think people would pay a lot to see it, but they may be disappointed in your dancing skills.”

“Come on,” he playfully whined. “I have some moves.”

“You have one move,” Y/N cut in with a chuckle, “and it’s the wiggle.” She brought her hands up near her chest, tilted her head back while dramatically biting her lip, and swayed her arms by her sides, earning a chorus of laughter from the people around her.

She hadn’t even realized she had done the move without releasing Harry’s hand first, dragging his arm into her dance as well, until their manager commented on it. “You know, you two don’t have to be holding hands all the time and keeping the show up back here,” he said with a slightly suspicious quirk in his eyebrows.

Her smile had been in the process of fading, like they had been caught doing something wrong, before Harry answered smoothly. “We know. Just practicing.”

There were those words again. Just practicing, she thought over to herself. But was he practicing anymore? How many flirty comments, heartfelt compliments, and warm touches did it take to cross the line of practicing to the real thing?

She wasn’t sure about Harry, but she knew that she wasn’t just practicing anymore.

She knew that the way they sat nearly on top of each other in the large SUV on the way to the club felt more than friendly. And the way he hadn’t stopped touching her in some way since they left his dressing room insinuated far more than something with business-like intentions. And the way he looked at her everytime he caught her eye the entire way to the club, always with a bright smile and adoring gaze that she always returned, pulled at her heartstrings far more than they should have if this was all an act.

A sloppy and cheeky grin settled almost permanently on his features after he had a few drinks in him, his arms moving in a lazy and fluid manner as she took in his many tattoos that he had exposed when he ditched his jacket (just like she knew he would). His butterfly was visible through the tight ribbed fabric of the white tank top and the little birds that peaked out from underneath seemed to be inviting her even closer to him in her now inebriated state.

All she wanted to do was to connect her lips with his as she watched him make conversation with someone from his management, entranced by the way his perfect mouth moved as he spoke. She once again craved the shocks of electricity that were created between them at the contact and could not stop thinking about it no matter how hard she tried. The protective hand that had settled onto her hip and continued to hold her close to his body just wasn’t enough anymore.

The pair had been drinking far too much; martinis turning into vodka sodas that had turned into straight tequila shots. She believed it was tequila shot four that did her in. The last thing she remembered was licking the line of salt off the back of her hand, downing the shot, and being entranced by Harry’s eyes as she bit down on the slice of lime he held carefully with his jeweled fingers.

***

The next morning, Y/N woke up in a hotel room that she didn’t recognize with a pounding headache and a swirling gut. It felt like she had been hit with a truck and she could barely pick her head up off the pillow.

She had so many questions about what had happened the night before. Where was she? Who let her drink that much? Whose clothes was she wearing? But most of all, what the hell happened after that fourth shot?

But she realized the worst was yet to come when she heard soft snoring coming from beside her. She knew that snoring well. It was the snoring that kept her up half the night for the last two months and the one that had almost driven her to suffocating her bus-mate in his sleep; the snoring that matched the crumbled black suit she just noticed in a ball on the floor.

It took every ounce of strength in her body to pull herself from the pillow and turn around in the bed to have her suspicions confirmed.

There he was.

His dark long eyelashes were fluttered down across the tops of his cheeks and his hair was going in every direction, skin clammy like his body was trying to rid itself of all the poison he had ingested the night before. The crumpled comforter was pushed down his stomach, his bare skin holding a sheen that helped define every dip or curve of his muscles and the tiniest bit of the band of his boxers peaked out to assure her that he at least wasn’t fully naked next to her.

Why were they in bed together? And why did he look so good? Oh my god, she thought as a possibility dawned on her. Did we sleep together?

“Harry,” she murmured softer than she intended, voice scratchy and mouth dry. The soreness at the back of her throat clued her into the copious amounts of screaming she must have done last night. He didn’t stir at her gentle coaxing, the light streaming through the windows making him look angelic as it covered him in a blanket of soft light while he continued to sleep.

It was a hard nudge to his chest that finally made him open his eyes, immediately releasing a groan she was sure she made when she regained consciousness too. He looked at her puzzled, still rubbing sleep out of his eyes as he propped himself up on his elbows. He took an equally confused look around the hotel room before looking back at her. She watched as the gears slowly turned in his head until his eyes opened wide and he spring up into a sitting position to mirror hers.

“We didn’t,” he whispered hopefully. “Oh my god, did we?” he asked, a look of horror crossing his face that matched her own.

“I have no idea,” she anxiously replied. “I was hoping you would know!”

“You don’t remember anything?”

“The last thing I remember was doing tequila shots with you.”

“I remember those.” He rubbed his eyes hard like it would somehow jog his memory. His eyebrows knit together, buried in thought as he searched his brain for a timeline. “I can follow the night up until we did karaoke.”

“We did karaoke?” she repeated incredulously and was met with a somber nod. “Do I even want to know what we sang?”

He shook his head slowly, shame clear on his face, before he finally mumbled. “We did ‘It’s Raining Men.’”

“Oh my god, no,” she whined, holding her head in her hands and rubbing her temples. There were surely videos of them sloppily singing on top of a bar circulating online and she wasn’t sure how Jeff would be able to spin that one in a positive light.

“Where’s your phone?” he asked, a hopeful glint in his eye as he reached for his own. “Maybe there’s something on there that can clue us in.” It took her a moment but she finally spotted it on the ground in the corner of the room. She said a silent prayer that it wasn’t dead or broken.

Forcing her heavy limbs out from under the covers she made her way towards the device, but not before she heard a confused sound coming from Harry. “How did you get my clothes?”

Looking down at herself and taking in the red lettering that read But Daddy I Love Him across her chest, it clicked that the t-shirt and baggy basketball shorts were his. But how they hell did she get into them?

“I think we’ve established at this point that I don’t know anything that happened after about midnight, Harry.” Her words came out laced with slight frustration. She hoped he knew she wasn’t annoyed with him, just their situation.

“Just a question, princess.”

She ignored his quip and began to search through her texts, call history, and photos, hoping to find anything at all that could help trace their steps through the night. She found nothing but a few selfies of them still at the club. One was the pair casually smiling, the next was one of him kissing her on the cheek that made her skin warm, but the final one made her snort out a laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

“I have a picture on my phone of you with two martini olives shoved up your nose,” she spoke through hysterical laughter. “Definitely birthday post material if you ask me.”

“Let me see,” he demanded with an adorable scowl.

She passed her phone over to him, still letting a few chuckles fall past her lips. “I’m gonna change your name in my phone to ‘Olive Nose Styles.”

“You're cruel.”

“You’re the one that put olives up his nose and then posed for a picture!”

“Whatever,” he grumbled, turning attention back to his own screen to continue his investigation. “There’s nothing of use on my phone either.”

The two flopped back on the bed, staring at the ceiling in the frustrated confusion. There was so much of their night that had gone up into smoke, completely unaccounted for with no clues as to what they did. Each traced their steps over and over again in their heads as they hoped desperately for a single detail that would lead them down a path to bigger memories, but it never came.

“Are we going to have to call Jeff and ask him what happened?” she finally murmured.

“I think so.”

“He’s going to put us both in client timeout, isn’t he?”

“We’re probably already there,” he groaned as he picked up his phone and hit Jefe Jeff-e in his contact list, putting the call on speaker and resting it on his still bare chest. The man on the other end picked up almost immediately.

“Morning Sleeping Beauty, I was wondering when I was going to hear from you.”

“Hi Jeff,” he groggily started then stopped, searching for the words that would make this all less uncomfortable. “Y/N and I have some questions about last night.”

Jeff let out a strained chuckle. “Yeah, that doesn’t really surprise me after last night’s bar bill.”

“Um,” Harry hummed, stammering but unable to form any real words.

“You sing about sex for a living,” she hissed at the man next to her before yanking the phone off his chest. “Jeff,” she started, taking over the conversation for them both. “Do you know if we slept together?”

“Probably not. You both were pretty unconscious when I put you in the hotel room.” His words prompted a massive sigh from both of them, looking to each other to share a relieved smile.

“Oh thank god,” they mumbled in unison.

“Jinx,” he smirked under his breath, prompting a ‘shut up’ from her.

“How did I get into Harry’s clothes?”

“I stopped by the tour bus when I realized you two probably shouldn’t be trusted not to roll out of your top bunks. I got you some clothes to sleep in before we took you guys to the hotel.”

“But why Harry’s?”

It was Jeff’s term to get squirmy. “I felt weird going through your things.”

“But you were perfectly fine with going through mine?” Harry asked, only half joking.

“Absolutely,” he deadpanned. They were all quiet for a moment before Jeff began again. “You two really don’t remember anything else that happened?”

“Everything after about two is unaccounted for,” she confessed.

“Oh,” Jeff chuckled. “So, you don’t remember when you stuck your tongues down each other’s throats on the ride home?”

Fuck.

Her eyes raced up to Harry’s from the phone she had been staring at like it held all the secrets of the night before. His easily readable features displayed all his emotions that surely matched hers. His pupils had grown in surprise, taking over nearly all the green in his wide eyes, and an embarrassed blush tinted his cheeks in a red hot flush that had reached the tips of his ears. His eyes flashed to the blank wall in front of them, running a stressed hand through his curls, like if he wasn’t looking at her, he would be able to focus better on the newly revealed information.

She couldn’t say that she didn’t relate. Her mind often went blank when she looked at him too. But right now, it was racing, occupied by anxious thoughts and intense emotions she couldn’t quite place, but felt with her entire being.

Her inevitable downward spiral was interrupted when Harry stiffly cleared his throat. “Uh,” he started, scratching the back of his neck uncomfortably. “We’ll see you later.”

“Sounds good, love birds,” Jeff replied, a clear snark apparent in his voice. Neither of the pair dignified his teasing with a response, Y/N quickly ending the call.

Silence hung heavy in the air and she let her eyes hover over the phone for too long when she settled it down on the bed, unwilling to connect her eyes with his just yet. Harry always had a way of staring into her and revealing all her cards to him before she even knew them herself. She wanted to hold them close to her chest for a moment, protecting the heart that longed for him more than anything else in the world.

There were no words exchanged between the two for a while as they silently took turns in the bathroom and occupied their hands and thoughts by their phones. They walked on eggshells anytime one neared the other. A tension like this hadn’t existed since the very first day they met, the first day they had begun to pretend.

Maybe that's why Harry was being so quiet. Maybe he never wanted to cross that line of pretending like she did. Maybe she had been blinded by his generally friendly personality and tricked herself into thinking there was anything more than a charade between them. Maybe last night really was just a drunken mistake, no matter how much she wanted it to be more.

“Maybe it’s a good thing that we don’t remember what happened last night,” she finally murmured from the opposite end of the room. She rested the side of her still heavy head and muscles against the wall, arms crossed in front of her as if they could keep her safe from the tension they had created. Her fingers nervously played with the hem of his t-shirt she was still dressed in.

“Why is it a good thing?” he almost immediately responded from the chair on the other side of the room he had settled himself into, running his hands along the satin pants of last night’s outfit he had put back on during their awkward shuffling around the room. He had even put physical space between them since they found out what happened, causing her heart to feel as if it was teetering on the edge of disintegrating.

“Well,” she stuttered, refusing to look at him and continuing to pick at her nail polish. “We’re just pretending so it would be weird if we really remembered it.”

“I don’t think it would be weird.”

“I don’t know,” she tried to maneuver her way around his response. “It might just be embarrassing to think about it.”

He let out a long and frustrated sigh, running his hands down his face. There was so much going on behind his eyes and she wished he would say something, anything, to break down the wall that hadn’t existed between them in months that was slowly reappearing.

“Do you regret it?” he asked bluntly, the abrupt question shocking her body to attention. “Do you regret any of this? Any of us?”

Did she regret drinking too much? Yes. Did she regret making out with him in front of their manager? Yes. Did she regret denying her feelings and pretending they didn’t exist for so long? Of course. But, did she regret falling in love with him? Never, not even for a second.

“No, I don’t,” she let out with a gentle shake of her head, no louder than a whisper.

“Neither do I.”

The words had barely left his lips before he crossed the room and crashed them into hers. The same fire she had felt on stage returned ten times over as his lips moved smoothly over hers, every neuron in her body lighting up like a switchboard. Her fingers reached up to curl into his hair and pull his lips impossibly closer to hers as her heart hammered in her chest with a passionate love she had kept under wraps for so long.

He tasted like the spicy peppermint toothpaste the hotel stocked in the bathroom and smelled like the tiny bottles of shampoo that rested on the side of the bathtub; but there was so much else about him that was completely unique–wholly irreplaceable and indescribable. He was just Harry.

Teeth clashed, lips were bitten, and hair was pulled as they took in every sensation the other created. His lips had been the only thought that captivated her mind since they were on stage the night before and her return to them did not disappoint. If her head wasn’t dizzy and her lungs not screaming at her for air, she would have stayed in that moment forever

When they finally disconnected, they stood against each other in a heaving and disheveled mess of heavy breathing and adoringly dazed smiles. She swore she could feel the pounding of his heart under her fingertips that rested on his chest.

“That was nice,” he eventually murmured down at her through heavy breaths, a love drunk grin finding its way onto his swollen lips.

“Yeah, I agree,” she hummed breathlessly, her anxious thoughts quiet and calm for the first time she could remember since she met him.

“I’m kind of disappointed I don’t remember doing that the first time,” he chuckled softly at her, shaking his head lightly in embarrassment with his pink tinged cheeks on full display.

“That’s okay. We were ‘just practicing’ then, right?” A giggle left her lips as she used the words against him. The same words he had used every time they let a glimpse of their true affections for each other slip past their guarded and friendly facade.

His dimples were exposed when he smiled a giant grin and let out a knowing huff, piecing together that she had caught onto his trail of excuses. “Yeah, just practicing,” he repeated softly, before his tone turned sincere and genuine. “I don’t want us to pretend anymore.”

“Good,” she said softly as her fingers slid up his neck to beckon his lips back down to hers. “I never was.”

“Neither was I.” She watched a soft smirk appear on his lips as they hovered over hers. “Do you want to keep not practicing?”

“Depends,” she quipped, lips brushing over his as she spoke. “Am I better kisser than Taylor Swift?

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!! REBLOGS AND FEEDBACK MEAN THE WORLD!!!

An extra for our babies can be found here!

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etherealeeknow · 3 years

Text

the fwb rules

• rated m for mature

• pairing: fwb!hyunjin x fem!reader

• wc: 4.559

• tw: explicit language, light characterization of an insecure reader, unprotected piv sex (stay safe, lovelies!), fingering & oral (f), nipple play, cream pie— i think that’s all, please do tell me if you find more c:

• note: last time i said long fic isn’t my forte and this time i’ll still say the same hahahahaha. but still, i hope i don’t disappoint 🥺 please kindly note that english isn’t my first language. therefore, i apologize for any mistakes. feedbacks are always appreciated because i’d love to grow! thank you for waiting and enjoy 💞 pretty banner made by my bestie!! ilysm 😽😽😽

• tag list: @charlieshelves @es-kay-zee @formidxble @oh-my-sparkle @bobateastay @http-hyxnjxn @lyralurexrattle @hyunsluvv @healinghyunjin @sailorhyunjinz

—

what happened to the rules?

it didn’t start off like this. you can’t remember when exactly you started wondering about the five word question. all you know is that you were one bite away from gobbling a spoonful of jisung’s ice cream when it struck you: since when did you and hyunjin stop going by the rules? he’s been occasionally texting you out of the blue lately just to know what you’re up to, and today he even asked you to stay the night at his, and as much as you want to believe they’re all normal, again, it didn’t start off like this. from the beginning, you and hyunjin have come up with three rules so your relationship can work: one, be very casual. two, no strings attached. three, no fucks given outside of the, well, literal fucking. but look at you now, lying naked and out of breath under his blanket while facing his ceiling, driving yourself insane over the haunted question. you have to get it off your chest somehow, but how?

“hey, why so serious?” asks the culprit behind your overthinking, causing you to jump slightly over his sudden appearance and your hands instinctively pull up the blanket to cover your naked chest, which as a result, makes him chuckle. cute. “here. it’s my cousin’s,” adds the topless man as he sits on the edge of the bed and hands you a white shirt that even under the dim light, you can already tell won’t fit you.

“your cousin? the model? hyunjin, she’s tiny,” you utter, hands still gripping onto the blanket. “i’m—“

“you,” he cuts you off, placing a hand on top of yours while carefully glancing at you to make sure you there aren’t any signs of discomfort. “are fine, y/n. now hurry up. i’m sleepy,” he adds before letting go, leaving behind a lingering warmth on your knuckles.

nodding, you turn your back on him to change, and the room falls silent, causing you to hear how fast your heart is thumping even more than it should have. is it because you had too much coffee this morning? or it can probably be because the shirt is too tight that it’s cutting off your air circulation, right? right, of course. you tell yourself because as much as you dislike both reasons, they are still far better than having hyunjin as the cause.

once you’re done, hyunjin already has his back lying against the bedhead, his head tilting slightly to the side, avoiding the light coming from the night lamp on the bedside table, while his eyes bore deeply into yours. unbothered that he’s been caught staring, he averts his gaze downwards till they reach your chest and spot how your nipples are sticking out through the thin fabric.

“see? it fits you just fine,” he says, turning his vision back to your face as he opens his arms and motions them at you, only to have you remain in the same position with your increasing heartbeat.

“aren’t you gonna, uh, wear something?”

instead of a proper answer, all you get is his laugh—hyunjin’s contagious laugh that usually always succeeds in making you laugh too. but today hits differently. has his laugh always sounded this lighthearted before? no matter what the answer is, one thing for sure is that despite how sweet hwang hyunjin and his laugh are, they have never made your cheeks burn like this before, and this is forbidden. it’s against the rules.

“an hour ago we were naked while sucking each other’s face, y/n,” he finally answers after a while. “besides, i always sleep like this. now, come on,” he adds, repeating the same gesture, except this time his hands are open wider, eager to have you near him again because the space around him is starting to make him feel lonely.

complying with him, you fall into his embrace and hyunjin immediately lets his hands travel to the exact places of where they want to be—one around your head and the other around your waist. despite the room turning less cold with his warmth directly passing onto you, your heart and cheeks conditions remain the same especially since you can hear how hyunjin’s heartbeats are beating just as fast as yours when he lets you lay your head on his chest.

“hyunjin,” you call out, hands fiddling with the collar of your shirt.

“y/n,” he replies, replacing the collar with his fingers instead, intertwining them with yours.

what happened to the rules?

“do... do fwb do these?” you ask, the bravery in you finally decide to show up, even just for a little.

“do this?” he asks back while squeezing your hand with all his might, as if he’s nervous.

no. not ‘this’, but ‘these’. not only the hand grabbing, but also the fact that he asked you to stay the night, that he’s cuddling you to sleep, and that you’ve been getting unusual symptoms over them until this very moment.

“yes, this,” you nod and hyunjin becomes muted, but his heartbeats are growing louder, and his grip on you has become tighter.

after what feels like forever, he whispers, voice slightly cracking, and hands getting a little colder, “yes. yes, they do.”

then the two of you become muted, but both heartbeats keep growing louder, and everything stays that way until sleep eventually takes over.

—

as a homebody, you’ve always against the idea of sleepovers. you believe home is the sweetest place and your own bed is the comfiest even when your mattress is older than a decade and your favorite plushie has had too many holes here and there. but waking up in hyunjin’s bed has broken your stigma—never in your whole life that you’d have thought someone else’s bed can provide you twice the comfort.

“looks like someone had a good sleep,” chirps jisung as he sits beside you, causing you to wipe off the smile on your face before going back to your laptop.

“wow suddenly my best friend’s a psychic?”

“hey, that’d actually make a great drama title!” he exclaims and you roll your eyes. “please do spill the tea though. what happened?” he adds.

“what happened?” you ask back, eyes still on the screen, but the corner of your lips are on the verge of breaking into the smile, knowing full well he’ll complain—which he does by lamely calling you a meanie.

laughing, you tell him nothing happened, but the way he rolls his eyes is a sign he’s not taking any of your bullshit. you are telling the truth though. besides spending the night with each other, nothing really happened, right? it was just another casual fucking session. yes, it was amazing, but that’s no news for jisung. the guy’s practically your wingman—setting you up with hyunjin was his idea because he believes you should, “live your life. have that dreamy college sex orelse you’ll regret it like my old man changbin!”

right on cue, a notification popped out on your big screen, and the sender’s name makes your heart pop too.

“aha, see!” jisung points at it. “y/n, where are you?” he reads out loud, earning yourselves all the eyes from every other student in class.

“oh my god, jisung. shut up!” right when you’re about to log out from the chat app, hyunjin sends another one.

“can i call you?” jisung reads once more and you’re only one second away from smacking his head, but your vibrating phone holds you back.

shooting jisung a glare, you make sure to close your laptop before leaving the class, answering hyunjin’s call even when you’re still half way through the door. right when you’re about to greet him hello, hyunjin beats you to it—his voice a bit raspy, but the softness in his tone still lies within, and it creates endless questions in your mind.

has he just woken up? so is this how he sounds in the morning? why is he calling?

and the list goes on because this isn’t like hyunjin at all. sure, he’s not validating the rules, but he’s breaking his character despite already alarming you to anticipate morning booty calls from him at times. he’s never actually done that though.

“hi,” you reply, startling yourself with how small your voice came out.

“you left,” says hyunjin and you can hear him sighing from the other line, which somehow causes a slight pang in your heart, wondering if perhaps he is disappointed. “can you come back? wait, actually, let me go to you instead.” he says and you can hear the rustling sounds coming from his side.

“hyunjin, i have class. that’s why i left. i—” should you apologize? but why should you? casual, no strings attached, and no fucks given, remember? “i’m sorry.”

“oh.” hyunjin stops on his track before plopping back down onto the bed, smiling. “i’ll pick you up after class then. when will you finish?”

unconsciously, a smile creeps up your face too, but the realization hits you right after, then followed by the five word question, and you know—you know this is your guts telling you that now’s the time to ask him about it, but your heart hates confrontation. plus, wouldn’t it be rude to reply to someone else’s question with a question? “hyunjin, are you, uh, horny?”

just like yesterday, hyunjin laughs, and with the raspiness in his voice still present, he doesn’t fail to make you laugh along, but at the same time waking the butterflies in your stomach and makes you rethink your decision. mayhaps, you should’ve left him a note or told him that you’ll leave early in the morning; or even, you should’ve ditched classes today and stayed so when he wakes up, you can get him a glass of water, not leaving the boy uncared for like this. but who are you to do so?

“isn’t it normal for a guy to have a morning wood?” he jokes before quickly adding that he’s not horny. “i just want to see you so let me go get you.”

pressing your lips together, you contemplate on whether you should let him. if you do, won’t you be turning whatever the two of you have right now into something far more complicated? but it’s only until hyunjin adds a desperate “please?” that all of your dilemma disappears, as if you’re being cast into his spell—“okay.”

—

while heading to the gate, you have the biggest urge to book a massage appointment. dodging jisung’s questions and running away from him after the first period was draining, but having to spend the day running back and forth between two buildings because thinking that volunteering as the lecturers’ teaching assistant was draining on a whole new level. other than feeling like your legs are gonna come off, your mind also feels like it’s gonna blow off—you can’t stop recalling all the things you need to start working on as soon as possible, but stepping into hyunjin’s car turns everything to 180 degrees.

you’d like to think that it’s because of the faint lavender aroma coming from his car freshener along with the heavenly cool air conditioner, but no. you know full well it’s because of the way hyunjin’s smile lit up, his eyes disappear into two small crescent moons, and his blonde hair which is becoming one with the warm orange sky that brings peace to your heart.

“hi,” he breathes out the moment you close the door, and you do the same except for looking at him, which causes hyunjin to furrow his eyebrows while speeding away.

the way home is silent, just the way you like it, but you know full well that it’s not hyunjin’s cup of tea. he doesn’t need to say it, his action is showing it all as he’s been fidgeting non stop, wiping his sweaty palm along his jeans while occasionally licking his plump lips. hyunjin’s a very vocal person. he’s talkative and loud—including in bed. you press your warm cheeks over the realization of your own thoughts, embarrassed. you can’t possibly suspect hyunjin for being horny in the morning when you yourself are being like this in the afternoon. it’s uncalled for.

noticing you from the corner of his eye, hyunjin calls out, asking you if there’s anything wrong, totally catching you off guard. what should you say? lying is not your forte, but being honest clearly isn’t the best option right now, at least, not before you shower and appear presentable in front of him—but wait, since when did that matter so much? a few months ago, you even fucked after you ran a marathon.

“y/n?” calls hyunjin for the second time.

“look, hyunjin, really, it’s okay if you’re horny. you can pull over and i can, uh, relieve you and i can just take the bus home after,” you spit out shamelessly while looking at him straight in the eyes, eager to get far away from hyunjin as fast as possible before you go out of your mind.

just like the night before, hyunjin laughs. and just like the night before, his laugh hits differently and it does nothing other than burning your already burnt cheeks for the worse.

“i swear to god, y/n, i’m not horny. i genuinely want to take you home. nothing more,” explains hyunjin, head straight at the road but eyes repeatedly stealing glances at you. “and nothing less,” he adds, voice barely audible but you caught it.

“o— oh.” is all you manage to respond before the ride quickly turns quiet and hyunjin’s hands begin fidgeting again, all the while you’re trying to decode what he has just said—what does he mean by genuinely wanting to take you home? do fwb do this too? what happened to no fucks given?—and it goes on until hyunjin hits the break in front of your old apartment building.

“we’re here,” says hyunjin, breaking the silence by unlocking the car door.

“we’re here,” you repeat after him, already opening the door and setting a foot out. “uh, thank you.”

“don’t mention it.” hyunjin shoots you his signature smile the moment you lower yourself to meet his eye level from outside the car; this time, you have no choice but to fall under his spell.

“hey, uh, you wanna come in?” you ask, biting your lower lip as a way to punish yourself for being so indecisive. one second you want to run away from him and the next second you want to be near him. come on, get a grip.

as if the punishment isn’t enough, hyunjin declines your offer, all while chuckling with his head thrown back. “for the third time, y/n. i’m not horny. go in and rest up.”

“if you say so.” you shrug, giving him a small smile before turning around, making sure not to look back, only to fail when you hear the engine driving away.

—

you can’t quite tell—no, you can’t tell. you don’t get it. there’s an unexplainable empty space in your heart that is caused by hyunjin’s rejection. is it because you’re just not used to see him without having to fuck him? or is it because you’re hurt over the fact that he’s not in the mood to touch you? is it because of last night? is he finally sick of your flaws? things would probably be different if you had retouched your makeup or at least combed your hair before seeing him, would they? either way, you’re fully aware you shouldn’t be torn over your friend with benefits, yet your aching heart says otherwise.

and so when the doorbell rings only a few seconds after you get in and the figure you see through the peephole is no other than the man in question, you spare no time to swing the door open. hyunjin, in return, spares no time to lock his lips with yours right after he utters a brief apology. just like the way hyunjin sneaks his playful hands down your ass, you sneak your tongue in his mouth, and your action makes him smile into the kiss as he leads you back into the room and kicks the door shut with his long legs.

the way to your bedroom is actually pretty short, but with your tongues moving in sync, bodies pressing—glued, even, and eyes continuously closing in pleasure, the short way to your bedroom consists of endless stumbling, tripping, and bumping the door. once inside, you break the kiss and are about to undress yourself when hyunjin beats you to it, settling you down on the bed as he begins taking off your attire one by one ever so effortlessly. and in just a matter of seconds, his lips are back on yours again, floral scented hair falling and brushing against your cheeks, leaving you no time to wonder over the fact that it’s the first time hyunjin has ever undressed you.

as the kiss continues, you can feel yourself gushing more and more that you start grinding on him mindlessly, needing to feel more than just his bulge poking you. your hands leave his blonde strands to tug on his hoodie, only to have him stop you—one hand around your grip and the other rests on your hip.

“what do you think you’re doing?”

“need you. need to feel you,” you mumble, desperation so visible through your cracked voice.

“what happened to the girl who was all flustered to sleep with me last night just because i was shirtless?”

autumn nights aren’t supposed to be hot, but hyunjin has proven he has the power to make the impossible happen just with his words and mocking smirk. but the rising heat on your cheeks is nothing compared to the emptiness you feel below, clenching around nothing surely isn’t the best feeling.

“please, jinnie,” you whine, tugging on his hoodie once more, hips moving against his hold.

“fuck.” is all he manages to say before getting off the bed to disrobe himself—hoodie and track pants thrown across the room, now showcasing his toned body and thighs altogether as he hovers over you.

“please take this off too. it looks suffocating,” you say, index finger running faintly through the bulge forming from his tight boxer, making it stand up even more and hyunjin has no choice but to obey you. “put your hair up too please,” you add just when he’s about to dive right back in, and again, your wish is his command.

biting to pull off his hair tie from his wrist, hyunjin smoothly ties his hair back and you’re only given a few seconds to admire his feature before his plump lips coming in contact with your hardened nipple while he toys with the other using his fingers—rubbing and pinching, making your breath hitch over the sensation, fingers digging into his bare shoulders because you don’t want to mess up his hair, and hyunjin’s low grunts pretty much indicate he’s loving it.

“more, please. give me m—”

hyunjin retreats his hand and tongue away from your breast, moving them to your naked pussy, drawing circles on your outer labia with his middle finger. he teases you just enough and quickly slides in his digit and at the same time sucks on your clit right before you’re about to complain, making you tingle from head to toe.

“you hear that?” he asks, voice muffled, the effect of being too tongue tied from licking every part of your heat, but finger working its magic perfectly, creating loud wet noises from your fluid. “drenched. my pretty y/n is drenched,” says hyunjin, and as much as you want to comment on him for the pet name, you’re too caught up on how his lips vibrate against you the moment he starts palming himself with his unoccupied hand. if he keeps it up, you know you would come undone there and then, and you don’t want that—not yet. so you ask him to stop and he instantly does as told.

“what’s wrong? did i hurt you?” there’s fear written across his expression and heard from his tone, but you’d like to believe your eyes and lips are just playing tricks on you.

“n— no. i just,” you pause to avoid his gazes, but something within you pulls your attention back on him. “i wanna cum with you inside me,” you confess, voice barely audible due to embarrassment; all this time, it’s always been hyunjin to say such things, but perhaps, all the strange tension lately has finally gotten the best of you. you hear him mutter a low “fuck” while his pupils shakes for a brief moment before they somehow appear a shade darker. licking his lower lip, hyunjin pulls you by your legs and rests them on his shoulders, and proceeds to align his tip with your entrance, once again teasing your throbbing core.

the moment you whine is the moment hyunjin pushes himself inside ever so gently, but the stretching still has you throwing your head back, while hyunjin letting our airy moans upon your walls clenching around him. none of you can tell how it’s possible for your vagina to remain so tight after all the countless fucking session for the past half year, but hyunjin doesn’t find that troubling. in fact, he lives for that and it shows from the way his eyes roll to the back of his head as he begins thrusting in and out of you—slowly but steady, veiny hands secured on your hips, vision goes back and forth from your half-lidded eyes to your parted lips.

hyunjin leans down to kiss you for a couple of seconds, and when he lets go, he quickens his pace—leaning down once more so his length can go deeper in you, hitting your g-spot. at that very moment, you mentally praise yourself for placing the bedroom mirror right across the bed. it presents you with the magnificent view of hyunjin’s rounded, firm ass bouncing rhythmically whenever he snaps his hips, and placing your hands around them, squeezing them, nearly makes you drool over the sight. with hyunjin constant thrusts, the familiar knot in your abdomen starts to bubble up.

“oh my god,” the two of you whimper in unison as hyunjin begins to lose his tempo, moves also grow sloppy, but never once misses your spot.

“y/n, i— ah— i’m so close. fuck,” he breathes out, sweat forming on his forehead, wetting his baby hair down to his neck and chest, and you can only drool helplessly at the sight.

“me too. please cum inside me, cum with me, hyunjin, please, please,” you beg, voice a pitch higher, almost sounds like you strain your throat, and it stays the same. when you feel hyunjin twitch inside you, your hands automatically reach for the bed sheet again, but it only lasts for a second before they’re being taken by hyunjin’s own hands—he has never done this. while intertwining your fingers, his cock twitches again and his eyes roll to the back of his head, jaw falls open as he calls out your name—you naturally do the same, fingers pressing flat against his white knuckles

“hyu—”

“cum, baby,” he cuts you off, averting his hazy eyes on you, and that’s all it takes for you to break—your orgasm washes over you like waves and you cum undone around hyunjin, shaking and mewling altogether while feel the wet coldness around your inner thigh. hyunjin follows right after, shooting his hot cement inside of you; the man can no longer keep his eyes open as he buries his face on the crook of your neck, his choked moans bring music right to your ear all a while his hot breaths bring goosebumps to your unrecovered body.

after riding out your highs, none of you move. hyunjin stays on top of you, his chest rises and falls according to your hard breathing. somehow, it’s calming you down, but it shouldn’t.

“hyunjin, you’re heavy.”

“oh, sorry,” he chuckles and even without looking, you can tell his eyes are smiling too. with his remaining strength, hyunjin pushes himself up and rests on your thighs to pull his dick out of you, momentarily admiring the mixture of his juice and yours dripping down your cunt before fixing his eyes on you to study your face—also something he has never done before.

“i’m sorry,” he mutters a few moments later, eyes now on you.

tilting your head, you sit up, resting your upper body with your hands on the bed. “all of a sudden? i came? you always make me feel good.”

“that’s what i’m sorry about. i— i didn’t mean to— i mean, i—”

you reach out to him, gently patting his thigh. “hyunjin, calm down. this isn’t like you,” you whisper the last sentence, knowing that perhaps, now’s the time to talk things out, to stop whatever is going on, and go back to how things are used to be, maybe? your heart’s just been restless for too long and apparently, hyunjin seems to be in a similar situation too.

“i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to keep using you like this. i genuinely meant what i said. i only wanted to take you home, but we ended up here and—”

“isn’t that what fwb do?” you pull your hand off his thigh, and a frown painted across his face as if he’s questioning your question. “that’s what we agreed on. we have our fwb rules, remember?”

“one, be very casual. two, no strings attached. three, no fucks given outside of the, well, literal fucking,” says hyunjin, proving he has memorized every words to the back of his mind.

nodding, you carefully bring back your hand to his thigh, repeating the same movement you did before. “exactly. so you don’t have to be sorry. don’t worry, i’m not feeling used at all.” you end it with a smile.

hyunjin mirrors you, he smiles too; his eyes fall to where your hand is. “but what if i’m breaking them? the rules,” asks the boy whose cold hand is now on top of your warm one. “what if i like you?” his eyes find their way back to you, and that’s when you know. the difference between your temperatures; the difference between your smile and his—the sadness that lies within.

that’s when you understand. everything finally makes sense; every one of hyunjin’s unusual acts. the constant texts and calls, the undressing, the pet names, the facial expression, the hand holding.

what happened to the rules? feelings. that’s what happened. to hyunjin, it’s his feelings over the rules.

but you, what about you? the butterflies, the irregular increasing heartbeats, the flushing cheeks, the overthinking, the disappointment at some point.

“y/n,” hyunjin calls out and you don’t get to get back to him because he’s already an inch away from you, momentarily eyeing your lips before he closes the distance. once again, his blonde hair falls down, brushing against his cheek before meeting yours and it tickles you, but not in the same way as how his kiss tickles your heart; giddy.

what happened to the rules? unwanted feelings. that’s what happened. to you, it’s the unwanted feelings against the rules. and for now, the unwanted feelings are too strong for you to push him away, so you pull him close instead. for now.

—

gen’s masterlist

repeating this!! special note: HUGE THANK YOU for my awesome bestie for the banner 🥺💞💞 ily, bish!! thank you for being my beta reader too 😽😽😽

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