#sorry if this is not what u meant honestly this is entirely self indulgent and i will admit that

[tartagliatum]

how do you think 5nemo would react to being sick? :3

venti plays it up big time. whether it's for drama or attention, or, more often than not, taking great delight in wallowing in an impressive amount of self-pity, he exaggerates and whines about his symptoms the whole time. the entire world is expected to be put on pause to tend to his every whim. but karma comes back to bite him and you know he's really sick when his complaints fall away to a quiet misery, and he's reduced to small sniffles, forlorn moping and big, sad, red rimmed eyes. kazuha sings softly to him as he tends to him with a damp cloth and medicinal drinks. he recites any poems or ballads he writes, his own sandpapered throat unable to sing them himself.

if you didn't complain so much, your throat wouldn't be so sore, kazuha scolds fondly as he tucks him into bed with a mug of soothing honeyed tea and venti raspily mourns his lyre. you know you needn't say a word for me to give you all the attention you could dream of.

falling ill doesn't put a stop to his indulgent side, so his ideas of medicine may be a little unconventional, much to kazuha's dismay. icecream for a sore throat. whiskey for any hint of a chill. whiskey and chocolate for a low fever. making sure he sticks to a plain diet when he's sick is even harder than keeping him out of angel's share during weinelesfest. even when the anemo archon has a hazy head and nauseous stomach, he sneaks sweet ciders and foods he shouldn't be eating behind kazuha's back, unable to bear the hunger and cravings (despite countless warnings, he's still shocked when his stomach rejects it - with a resigned sigh, kazuha gently rubs his back and pulls his hair out of his face, pale and damp and much too pitiful to scold just yet).

xiao doesn't get sick. he doesn't. he stifles his sneezes, presses a hand to his sick stomach, and blames his weary joints on combat. if he doesn't think about it, it won't exist. until he barely staggers through a fight, knees shaking with effort and the world swimming around him; outlines smudge and blur between slow blinks and ragged breaths, and there's a flash of red and white and a cool breeze and suddenly he's saved. kazuha is rubbing his back as his chest heaves with a fit of coughs he can't quite disguise as clearing his throat. once he regrains his breath, he ignores concerned carmen eyes and offers a curt thank you before he grits his teeth and teleports away to deal with it (ignore it) in shame. but every time, when he eventually returns home, kazuha is waiting on the top floor of wangshu inn with medicinal tea and a box of almond tofu. and his throat is raw and his stomach hurts from the coughs that rack his body, and his eyes sting from the tears and his chest is heavy, and maybe it would be okay to be seen like this; if it means kazuha will hold him through the night and keep this terrible feeling of failure and uselessness at bay, replaced instead with a warm touch pulling him close and soft murmurs of reassurance

heizou doesn't even realise he's falling ill. his eyes are a little too wild, pupils blown wide and the grin on his face manic as he solves his case. shikanoin heiozu does it again - but instead of a proud smile or feigned interest, kazuha is frowning as he gently holds the back of his palm to his warm forehead. too warm, in fact, and slicked with sweat, and maybe he does feel a little dizzy, though he thought that was from forgetting to eat while working his case. the exhaustion slowly descends on him like a weight throughout the post-case paperwork, all aching limbs and fatigue, and it worries him a little that he would've pushed himself even further had he not had kazuha to slow his pace. (you need to start listening to your poor body more, kazuha says with a sad sigh, skipping the usual celebrations of a case solved to bring him home early, lightheaded and overwhelmed and a little slow to register things.) it's difficult work keeping him in bed and away from his desk, but a smart comment about his supposedly remarkable intuition missing an entire fever convinces him he needs to rest up and recharge

if xiao is adverse to illness, wanderer is straight up allergic. people chide him less on his manners when they know he's under the weather, but the pity makes his skin crawl and his jaw clench. he rarely falls ill, so confusion clouds his already foggy brain when he does; his lowered intuitions and senses both confuse and scare him, and he absolutely doesn't hesitate in letting everyone around him know just how miserable he is. he doesn't refrain from holding back smart comments and insults, especially for those who offer sympathy or help. kazuha, however, can see through the facade, to his fear and embarrassment regarding vulnerability. he tends to him with minimal conversation. with actions instead of suggestions. if wanderer is shivering beside him, too proud to get a blanket, kazuha comments on how the temperature seems to have dropped and fetches one for both of them. he puts honey and ginger in both their teas, and stays in with with excuses of being too tired or missing his company. acknowledgements of his condition are curt and factual. worry and sympathy for him are reserved to actions only, and while wanderer still snaps at him, kazuha knows it's only an uncomfortable defense mechanism and they're not truly words of malice - after all, if he doesn't look after him, nobody will (venti ditched as soon as wanderer intentionally sneeze on him). and even with cruel words in his mouth and a scowl on his face, kazuha thinks he's quite endearing all wrapped up in a blanket with a sniffly nose and watery eyes

kazuha understands nature on a profound level; and therefore his own human nature. when he's coming down with something, he doesn't ignore it and push on, nor does he exaggerate and seek attention. he takes some medicine and cuddles up somewhere warm to sleep, hibernating until he's better. although he isn't vocal about it and humbly downplays his symptoms when asked, he still has his tells. he falls quiet. the corners of his eyes don't quite crinkle as they usually do when he smiles. his nose becomes red and he seems smaller than ever in his baggy clothes, sleepily seeking more physical affection than normal. he keeps his head buried in venti's chest a little too long when they hug, holds wanderer's hand a little too hard. he holds onto his clothes and follows from a step behind him, like a timid child, rather than walk along side him. he shyly asks xiao to play with his hair and rub his back for just five more minutes ten times over. he climbs into heizou's lap and snuggles up to fall asleep on him even while he's working at his desk. it's when wanderer has to convince him to come fishing, and venti has to try to make him laugh; it's when xiao is not greeted with almond tofu but instead with a sleepy, hooded eyed hug, and heizou has to try to work one-handed, the other occupied with stroking platinum hair until he carries him to bed, they all realise the glue holding them together needs a break. he can be found cuddled in bed with all four of them providing medicine, stomach rubs, and warm soup. (or chocolate, in venti's case. that will make him sick, wanderer says. he's already sick, dumbass, venti says with too much arrogance and not enough intellect)

kazuha's just happy to see xiao and heizou take a break from their work and to bask in wanderer's rare affection

#sickfic #gen #sorry if this is not what u meant honestly this is entirely self indulgent and i will admit that #5/nemo just has a special place in my heart<33

[haleigh-sloth]

* sighs *

I think we all already know the answer but Ik u love talking about him anyway so here you go!

Shigaraki for the ask game?

😊 thank you for indulging me anyway

It’s much appreciated 😂

Tomura:

How I feel: Totally normal feelings. Really, his story is less personal to the reader and more fantastical. But the way he's written to react to everything that happens to him is so believable, as believable as it can be given the circumstances. Removing the magical aspect of it, he's a convincing representation of someone who tries to come out on top of their issues, but in the end they're someone whose trauma just strangles them from the inside and they can't do a damn thing about it. That's Tomura, and he's one of the greatest characters ever, actually. Sucks that the series focuses so much on the kids and his character gets so....overlooked.

Romantic ship: None. I'm sorry.

Non-romantic OTP: Izuku, bffs pls, I beg

Unpopular opinion: I have many. Tomura "leaving room for his comrade's wishes" does not align with his actions and dream of destroying it all. Those things are mutually exclusive and he does not face this because he's too lost in his anger and misery to. Tomura does not prioritize anybody's wellbeing over his own choices--as nice of an idea as that is, it's fanon. Tomura is not an independent leader and never got any liberation of any kind. He lived under the illusion that he did just as he was supposed to. Current in-manga Tomura is really pitiful, and it kinda highlights the patheticness of his entire situation (asking a random teenager you barely know to come save you, buddy, we gotta talk). No complaints though. I love it all. He's a cool badass and kind of a loser, all at the same time. He makes it work. He looks good doing it.

What I wish could/would happen: I have 0 complaints on current canon. What I wish/hope to see happen aside from the obvious save, realization, all the necessary epiphanies etc., is him crying. He hasn't cried (since he was a kid) and by god, he needs to. I also want Izuku to hug him so bad because lord knows he needs a hug to cry into.

Izuku:

How I feel: I like his character because writing hiccups aside, he is the person who wants to save everyone, even if it takes him some hard lessons to learn what "everyone" truly means. I find some things frustrating in his arc, but I like him because he IS the character he is meant to be--heroic, selfless, kind, eager to be there for people who need him. I love him for that.

Romantic ship: IzuOcha :)

Non-romantic OTP: Tomura :) (I just think they should hug and maybe Tomura should kick his ass at some video games)

Unpopular opinion: I only know what's a popular opinion in this little corner of the fandom but. I think simply liking him is an unpopular opinion in the villain standom.

What I wish could/would happen: More self-reflection. You would honestly forget that he used to be quirkless with how little he thinks about it and how little it's written to impact him (or lack thereof). And that in itself even isn't bad, but it needs follow up like "Why do you ignore this part of your past". Y'know. It's a writing issue with his arc, but I do think there is clear set up for it to all come out in the open later toward the end.

#had to do this one sorry #couldn't pass it up #just forgot to post it last night #shigaraki and midoriya #ask game #anonymous

[sorikkung]

for the wip game, 'im god i do what i want' sounds so intriguing i need to know more 🤣

oh my god LOL you picked the what goes on in neverland masterdoc which i included as a wip even tho the first few chaps r posted and i haven't started chapter 4 yet cause it's still technically a wip. it's just the most chaotic bulletpoints you've ever seen bc i just write ideas how they come to me, which includes meme format. here are some highlights

i opened an empty doc at 2am one day deciding i wanted to try writing again so i could write something so incredibly self indulgent and be the change i wanted to see in the world. this is what i first wrote

he/they fuckboy!reader whos not in a frat he’s in an alt punk band and yes he has trauma but thats not the reason hes a fuckboy he just likes to fuck and being sexy

pierced, tatted, (he fucked around and bought a tattoo gun, he and kevin like tatting ppl) six pack abs, this mf gonna be more of a wet dream than the actual idols in question

sorry chanlix

his friends consist of like his 5 or so bandmates and thats it. they the type of homies who make out w each other just cause

and then here you have me realising in real time that i can write literally whatever the fuck i want with no justification needed

i wont make it an enemies to lovers au just quite, but they just like being Competitive

wait. why Cant i make it an enemies to lovers au

i know i have too many but im god i do what i want

ok so theyre competing in some battle of the bands type shit

chris and his boys r usually a good sport but they just have a problem w the mc’s punk band bc they dont even want the prize of being signed to a record label? they wanna stay underground but theyre hellbent on winning anyway just for the glory? like ayo fuck off we need this?

but they see mc perform and OOOO THEY WANNA FUCK HIM SO BADDDD

because what is enemies to lovers for if not the SEXUAL TENSIONNNN

plus mc despite not particularly liking skz is like okkkk but they’re hot so? i wanna fuck em anyway? he just lives for the face they make when theyre mad like the hot tongue in cheek thing? mc just sees that and goes ok imma be a shit for the rest of my goddamn life just so i can keep seeing that sexy ass face of urs amen

meanwhile skz r like god what a cocky asshole but also that was hot. we all unanimously agree that was hot? cool not just me. what the fuck do we do about that.

mc and chris have an unspoken competition on who can wear less and less clothes onstage without being disqualified from the rounds

then i have these very brief character blurbs and here's a highlight from felix's

still has lingering feelings for eric which is probably why he doesnt acknowledge his PHAT crush on chris. open your fucking eyes gay boy

and honestly minbin's entire blurbs are highlights within themselves

changbin: dating minho bc minbin is such an underrated pair. works at his local gym bc he was there so often they just offered him the job. actually liked trr’s music before the competition but doesnt admit it until the collab round bc oh no we’re meant to be Enemies yeah i hate those copiers boo >:(( *whispers* (minho theyre so sexy i dont know what to do w myself)

minho: u cant fuck them

changbin: oh ofc i wasnt gon-

minho: without me

changbin: 😳😳😳

minho: does not give a Singular Fuck about the competition, hes just here for a good time and enjoys fighting w trr almost as much as mc does. hes a scorpio ok he just likes being petty and having an excuse to ruin someones life for funsies bc come on. its So fun. like he does want to get signed under a record label but its not life or death bc hes happy w where they are since theyre already popular enough n he gets enough money from his cat video youtube. im transing ur gender gayboy

and ill wrap out with some assorted lines completely out of context:

[hyunjin] has an onlyfans bc he knows hes the prettyboy twink of everyones mfuckin DREAMS and decided he deserves to be paid for it.

mc, instantly: hey wooyoung, eric, can we plagiarize this

(later in the chapter outline it was repeated as "mc: i vote plagiarism")

basically mc goes “arent you tired of being nice? dont you just want to go a p e s h i t” n skz took that PERSONALLY

“sup bitches bros and nonbinary hoes,"

(we cant dance? that’s not what your ROCK HARD COCK said at the prism during your lap dance!)

and lastly these two that copy paste weirdly so have screenshots instead (first screenshot has spoilers for chapter 3 in case you plan on reading it and haven't yet)

anyway i got way too carried away here but i think im hilarious and you enabled me so now you suffer the consequences enjoy <3

#tag games #what goes on in neverland

[kenmaskitten10]

Dilf Deku Headcanons

Midoriya Izuku x GN!Reader

warnings: swearing, NSFW themes (nothing graphic just briefly mentioned),brief mention of bullying/scars, idk this is pretty tame nothing is really described... if u don't like dilfs then don't read this :)

a/n: okay! this is my first time writing/publishing anything on Tumblr so please go easy on me haha... I've had ridiculous Deku brain rot lately and I decided I had to jot a few thoughts down. I'm playing with the idea of turning this into a writing blog, but I am undecided! If anyone wants to thirst for one Izuku Midoriya please come talk to me please anyway without further ado here are some Dilf!Deku hcs.... I'm playing around with doing a NSFW version after this so if you would like to see that let me know!

w/c: 1,498

Okay everyone today I want to talk about Dilf!Izuku

This may be controversial but I personally believe that he has the most Dilf potential out of any of the class 1A boys and no I will not be taking criticism at this time

Sorry but even when he’s younger he has Dilf energy - he’s caring, considerate, takes your feelings into account like a dad he just wants to take care of his baby

oh fuck this man no no no

And listen, here me out on this one….. he has more dilf potential than Bakugo and allow me to tell you why

We can all agree that Bakugo has been confident his entire life, so of course he’s going to be confident when he’s older?? duh

But IZUKU is a different story altogether, he’s never felt confident in his life

His whole childhood he was looked down on for being quirkless, and bullied by someone he thought was his friend kachaan

THEN he got a quirk but oh every time he uses it it breaks all his fucking bones and leaves him with all these scars, and he appreciates them because of what they represent but also he’s young when he gets them, he’s already prone to insecurity and when he’s younger ESPECIALLY i think they just remind him of previous failures

He only started to gain a little bit of confidence in his UA days, but it takes time to rebuild yourself after you’ve been torn down for so long, so I honestly imagine he doesn’t even feel an inkling of confidence until his third year or later and even then, it’s new, it’s unfamiliar, he doesn’t totally know how to act

Because yes, by his third year, he’s starting to realize, oh wow okay, I have an incredible quirk and all these new abilities that I can control better, and wow people are paying attention for good reasons , because he’s tall and attractive, probably cuts his hair undercut Izuku supremacy and he’s made some solid friends who help boost his confidence too

But despite all this, deep down he still feels like that quirkless little kid who has to work three times as hard as anyone else and still doesn’t get the recognition he deserves

But OH BOY

DILF IZUKU??? This man is dripping with confidence

he’s older now. he’s overcome a lot. he’s gone to therapy, and worked his way through the pro hero ranks until he earned his number one spot fair and square, that’s something no one can take away from him

He’s loaded now (see below because I go on a whole tangent), he has nice tasteful style that can only come with age and experience

He knows he’s hot now, because its simply no longer something that can be denied, anyone with eyes can see how attractive he is

If he catches you staring at him, he doesn’t shy away. His cheeks might tint slightly, but he stares right back with the biggest smirk on his face. “See something you like, angel?”

Probably finds reasons to show off slightly but he’s Dilf!Izuku so it’s subtle, it’s meant just for you and god does it drive you crazy

The way he’ll reach for and grab at things when he’s around you because he knows you like his hands (he wants to hold your bags and please let him he just wants to feel needed)

They way he stands behind you while you cook, or work, or read…. He sees you sitting or standing so peacefully and he’ll come up behind you to check out what it is you’re doing. He’ll lean down slowly, quietly, stopping when his breath is on your neck and your nose is filled with his scent, and take a quick peek at whatever it is you’re working on. It takes you a moment to turn around, your heart starting to beat faster in your chest due to his looming presence behind you (I DON’T KNOW WHY THIS IS HOT TO ME IT JUST IS OKAY). When you finally turn to face him, his face breaks into a small smile of victory as his strong hand catches your jaw in a gentle grip and he places an achingly soft kiss to your lips before saying “You look so cute when you’re concentrating,”. As you’re about to go in for another, he lets you go and stands up again, his eyes twinkling. “No no, you’re working so hard baby, don’t let me distract you,” WHEN ALL HE WANTED WAS TO DISTRACT YOU and he succeeded and now you’re all hot and bothered, with no hope of resuming what you were doing

Dilf Deku is a tease I know he is but it’s okay he’ll make it up to you later ;)

He’s got shorter, slightly more cropped hair with grey mixed in with the green, his face more lean and angular… not to mention years of pro hero work have toned his body into an absolute work of art I’m gonna pass out just thinking about it

Freckles splashed across his skin like hundreds of little constellations, accented by scars and marks from old wounds (which he’s come to appreciate - they show how hard he’s worked, how much he’s sacrificed to get to where he is now) he’s muscular but I don’t think he’s quite as big as All Might (his fighting style is a lot different so of course he would build muscle in different places) so this means LEGS LEGS LEGS

LEG MUSCLES FOR DAYS

THICK FUCKING THIGHS oh my god

And holy shit his back muscles too WHEW sometimes in the morning when he gets up before you, you watch him sit on the edge of the bed and flex his shoulders and arms to stretch out in the hazy morning light and Jesus Christ

Dilf Deku is older now, he’s spent his entire life working himself too hard and he missed out on a lot of the fun, impulsive, chaotic things young people do, so I think he wants to let loose a little in his older age, have some fun for once

And what’s more perfect than sweet, youthful, tantalizing little you to indulge in ?

He’s so doting, just wants to make you feel special and cared for

And on that note, if you will indulge me for a moment

he’s fucking RICH like

He’s the number one pro hero, he has brand deals on brand deals on brand deals

And I don’t mean to slander All Might and Endeavor, but in terms of a hot, fuckable number one pro hero, Deku has them beat by a landslide so I imagine he has a wider range of brand deals too, because he can sell the sex appeal angle

I mean can you imagine him in interviews? Interacting with fans? Confident yes, but still soft spoken and kind, almost gentle but anyone can tell he’s completely in control, of himself, of the interview, of the audience, this man has the entire country world wrapped around his little finger

All this to say he’s DRIPPING WITH MONEY

he’s like the guy that overtips an OBSCENE amount like if the waiter is really nice he’ll tip like $300 dollars and won’t even blink (I know they don’t tip at restaurants in Japan but this is more for vibes yk)

sugar daddy deku isn’t a stretch it’s a REALITY

Y’all can be officially together or not, either way Deku loves to spoil his precious little y/n

All you have to do is smile sweetly and ask, and he’s absolute putty in your hands

Complies with even the most egregious of your demands, because hey, he has the money to spare, and how could he say no when you look so cute asking so politely?

GOOD TASTE too like he has a lot of money but he knows how to spend it 😏

Additionally he’s, ya know, him, so he’s insanely charitable and donates to charities, go fund me, personal Venmo accounts of fans that need it

if a fan has like a go fund me for some reason that catches his eye, he’s going to donate and he’s going to donate a lot (A LOT)

he doesn’t even do it for the press, he does it bc he’s a good person but my GOD the press eats it up and so do the fans

These hc’s are so self indulgent but all this to say

Dilf!Deku gets what he wants when he wants it and no one is standing in his way

So when he decides it’s you he wants? Well then it’s you he’s going to get!

#bnha #bnha x reader #bnha headcanons #bnha x y/n #mha hcs #mha x reader #dilf izuku #izuku midoriya headcanons #deku #dilf deku #deku x reader #deku x y/n #mha #mha x y/n #izuku midoriya x reader #izuku midoriya x y/n #izuku

[twsty-lav]

valentines day but like mega late and also angst oopsie <333

Prompt: uhhh s/o(s) get slipped a love potion for someone else and neither of you know dun dun dun credit to @twst-tea​ <333 

self indulgent so i wrote it for my faves (trey, rook, floyd)! 

it’s meant to be read as an entire fic but you can also scroll down to your faves too and pretend the other clowns are not clowning in the background. hope u enjoy smooches u

anyways enjoy this absolute piece of tragedy in five parts

tw: angst angst angst also probably a panic attack or smth somewhere just sayin

The end isn't anything world-breaking, really. Actually, it's all rather casual. Yuu doesn't know which way they'd prefer it; it didn't matter what they wanted, anyways. 

It was always going to be the same. 

1. trey clover

"I'm sorry," Trey says one day, sitting in front of them at the cafeteria. They had thought that was odd, honestly. He had always preferred sitting side by side, "I don't think we can be together anymore."

Yuu pauses. Chews the rest of their sandwich. Swallows, and asks, "Why?" 

"I just... Fell out of love." He mumbles, sounding vaguely uncomfortable. Next to them, they see a student look over with wide, curious eyes. Smart move, They think, Doing it in a crowd so I can't pick a fight. He knew them well, didn't he? They always hated being in the spotlight.

Well, it's not like they would have made much of a fuss in the first place. "Okay then," Yuu agrees, feeling a muscle in their wrist twitch, "Let's break up." And he looks so relieved at the clean cut that they can't even feel bad for themselves. 

Actually, they can't feel anything at all. 

"I'll swing by after class to take anything I left at your place," They say around a spoonful of stew, and that's that. They don't exchange any other words, which was fine. They were never the talkative type during lunch. Yuu’s neatness and efficiency in consuming food was well known for being Riddle-approved. They sit for a minute afterwards, at a loss of what to do. 

... What did people usually do after breaking up with someone? Their fingers played restlessly with the edge of the table, pressing splinters into their thumb. It sinks a thin line of white into their flesh--not deep enough to hurt, but enough to leave a drop of blood. Should I just wait for him to finish eating..? They glanced up. That didn't seem right. It's not like they had ever done this before.

Silence. 

"... Well, I'm gonna go to the library." Yuu announces with a shrug, picking off the slice of skin with their nails. They don't wait for a reply.

They don’t get one, anyways.

2. floyd leech

Floyd is not as kind as Trey. That is a fact. 

They couldn't have forgotten that, surely? It's what they signed up for, after months of coaxing and a dogged back-and-forth chase. Floyd was Floyd, after all--and Yuu had thought they were warranted a bit of caution. Few things could keep his attention for long; how did they know that this wasn't just a passing fancy? Chewed up and spit out like his takoyaki fillings, which changed from one moment to the next. A challenge, not love. 

But they had forgotten a part of him back then too, hadn't they? He was never predictable. He wore them down. Day after day, time after time. Actually, Yuu's pretty sure Azul and Jade were surprised as well, watching him stay on track for so long.

The point--The point was that Yuu forgot. Therefore, it was not unlikely for them to forget this time around too. 

Floyd could be so cruel.

"Let's break up," He says as soon as he sees them.  It's direct and to the point, sharp like the way his teeth nicked their lips. "I don't like you anymore."

His voice seems to thunder through the suddenly-too-quiet classroom; Yuu can feel the eyes crawling up the back of their head, sinking its claws through their shoulders and into their lungs, gripping, twisting, squeezing. Jade must be watching too--They walked to this class together, didn't they?

Silence. Time seems to stretch like a rubber tube, squishing their guts into meaty links of sausage; each breath scrapes their ribs clean. Their fingertips are trembling and their spine is sweaty-hot and their palms are needles and their jaw creaks and crumples into rust. 

Yuu blinks.

"Okay," they agree; their voice sounds distant to their ears, calm and lazy in the current. They go back to rummaging in their bag, "Can you give back the good eraser I lent you yesterday?" 

It's tossed carelessly on their desk. They pick it up with their left hand.

Not that it matters. Their right thumb is fine when they check inside the bag, despite the indent. They hadn't, Yuu supposed, been gripping the point hard enough to puncture into the nail bed. It left an inkstain, though. 

Stupid. So very, very stupid.

3. rook hunt

Rook, they supposed, followed the typical model of a breakup the best. Out of consideration? Perhaps. If they were inclined to be cynical, they might pin it on his sense of dramatics instead.

... It seems like lately, there's been a lot for them to be cynical about. 

That's why it's not really a surprise when Rook calls them out for a 'talk' on their way to Heartslabyul, whisking them away to some private place into the woods, all prepped and prettied. He even makes sure to declare that there was nobody else around, as if that would ease the news to them. They're pretty sure he's even memorized a script, if his more-flowery-than-usual language is anything to go by. It's of little use, honestly. His gentle voice soon fades into a high-pitched whine, scraping at the inside of their skull like sandpaper on fast-forward. For a moment, all they can think of is how sleepy they are.

The leaves on the ground smell like mulch. A beetle crawls across a branch over Rook's shoulder. A strand of hair tickles their nose, and they resist the urge to sneeze. There's nobody else around.

"... and as much as it pains me to say such things, I hope you understand..." Did they flush the toilet this morning? They're pretty sure they did--they’re not the type to forget something like that.

--Out of the corner of their eye, Rook falls silent with a look of remorse, letting them know to tune back in. Yuu wades through a bucket of sand to nod their head, calm and slow; they close their eyes when it burrows into the sides of their throat like a maggot. 

When they open them again, the forest seems dark. They are alone.

 "Ah," Yuu says, breath carefully even, voice painfully hoarse, "Finally." Any longer and they would have chewed a hole through their cheek, thin as it was. "Finally," They said again, for no reason in particular. Only a bird bothers to answer; the silence swells their up like a balloon. It stretches their skin until it splits in red-raw streaks, shiny with watery leaks. Any more and they's sure they'll pop--

Gently, they crouches down, curling into a ball. Their teeth sink delicately into the flesh of their wrist, pressing down. They spend a few minutes counting the incisors on their arm, watching them swell and fade. White from pressure, red from anger, pink and puffy with shame. Again.

It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. 

Nobody says a word.

4. yuu

They make their way to Heartslabyul. All of their stuff is already neatly set up outside the door, out of sight from anyone who wasn’t looking. There’s not much, honestly. Trey isn’t there; consideration or indifference, they're not sure. He could be both, after all. Ace and Deuce look at them in pity; Yuu doesn’t look at them at all. 

Yuu visits Octavinelle. They pick up their stuff. They forgot how much of a hoarder Floyd was. He hands them a gift before they go. It’s a scarf. They remember vaguely that they knit it for him over Christmas. They had to sidestep Jade on the way, passing by him on the way to the right room. His knowing smile, his what-did-you-think-would-happen, of course he’d get bored of you, they can’t-- Yuu hides in the bathroom until he leaves.

They don't bother stopping by Pomefiore. Rook probably had their stuff delivered to their dorm. He was nice like that. He knew it was hard for them to stand out. Beauty in effort, he always said, but it didn’t seem as if he’d make them suffer any more humiliation. Or maybe he didn’t believe they had the strength. Yuu wasn’t very good at this sort of thing, after all.

He would be right, honestly.

They're back in their room. When did they open the front door? They toss the bags into a corner somewhere before kicking off their shoes and lying down on the bed. 

They don't bother getting up.

5. aftermath

Someone comes knocking. Yuu doesn't bother getting up. 

They talk about some sort of conspiracy. Yuu doesn't bother getting up. 

They find the culprit. 

... Yuu doesn’t bother getting up. 

… Floyd breaks into their room, Trey and Rook and a whole bunch of others in tow. 

Yuu gets up. 

“Don’t worry about it,” They say with a yawn, calm and slow, “It wasn’t your fault, right? Really, it’s no big deal.” And the way they protest makes their laugh. “No, seriously! I don’t mind at all,” they say awkwardly, waving away their words. 

It was true. They didn’t mind it. Not at all.

“Uh, I have to catch up on my schoolwork. I’m super late for a few projects. Do you mind if I kick you out?”

“... Ah, sorry. I don’t really care that much about the whole mess. It’s fine like this, honestly! I hope we can still be friends, though. See you.” 

They close the door in their faces, and lie back down. 

None of it really mattered, anyways.

#jade isn't actually that much of an asshat it's just unreliable narrator #trust issues heehoo #twst angst #twst #twst yuu #reader self insert #or something #tw panic #twisted wonderland #twst floyd #twst rook #twst trey #trey clover #reader x floyd leech #floyd leech #jade leech #yuu x twst #reader x trey #reader x floyd #angst #mmmyea tasty #flangst #trangst??? #roongst?????????????? #idk bro #disney twst #twst wonderland #twst x reader #rook hunt x reader

[kurutabaa]

hi i discovered ur blog and its my new fave thing ever! may i req for a ryuji version of the "friend trying to pair up with his future s/o" thing u did? i feel like ann would fit as scheming matchmaker. (or u can pick whoever though) im such a loser for this idea, it's genius. i love ryuji so 👁👄👁 totally self indulgent

Ann Trying to Pair up Ryuji with his Future S/O!

Did I hear Ann the matchmaker and Ryuji as the matchmaker victim?! Yesyes!! I would be happy enough to do a lot more of these “Friend Pairing up Someone with Future S/O” scenarios!! Plus, Ann is the freaking best and I adore her~

(Futaba/Akira version of this scenario here!)

Ann Takamaki + Ryuji Sakamoto!

Featuring Ann as the Matchmaker and Ryuji + S/O as her target~

As the whole “Futaba pairing up Akira and his S/O together” situation died down, Ann noticed something similar to that with you and Ryuji.

She noticed how Ryuji would act stupider than he normally was around you. How he would try to say something cool but fail horribly, the way he tried to avoid eye contact with you and how he wouldn’t dare get closer then a meter towards you.

Although Ann had no solid evidence for any feelings, she realized this was Ryuji we were talking about. She needed to get her hands dirty.

After this realization, Ann will immediately interrogate Ryuji, wether it’d be at the lockers, cafeteria, or courtyard, she needs some answers.

“Hey, Sakamoto. What’s up with you?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“How stupid are you? I’m obviously talking about Y/N, it’s pretty obvious that you have feelings for them.”

“What?! W-Where did you get bullshit like that?!”

“Don’t play dumb with me! Now, I’m gonna help you win their heart, got it?”

Will definitely somehow rope in Akira the PT Girls into her schemes. Wether it’d be for date ideas or scheming “We’re just hanging out but this is totally meant to be a date!” plans.

Depending on which person you hang out with a lot, she’ll tell them to ask you what you think of Ryuji and to tell her afterwards.

When it turns out that you do have feelings for Ryuji, she’s now extremely adamant on getting you two together.

Will either tell you or Ryuji to ask one another if they want to go out for lunch, but most likely Ryuji has to do it.

It would be the end of class, you would be unknowingly packing your bag as Ann gives a thumbs up of approval to Ryuji. He uncomfortably walks his way towards you and calls out your name.

“Ryuji? What’s up?”

“I-I was wondering if..”

He looks for help to Ann, which he now realises that the entire PT group is now spying on the two of them. Thanks, Ann.

“U-Uh, I need some help with studying, so I’m wondering if you would hang out for a bit afterschool.”

Ryuji audibly hears the Phantom Theif members sighing in relief.

“Oh! Sure thing, where do you want to meet?”

“What about the ramen shop in Shibuya? My treat!”

“Alright! We can go on the train together to Shibuya, then!”

“C-Cool beans!”

As soon as he walked away, he was internally celebrating and had the goofiest smile on his face.

Ann will assign the guys to “prep” Ryuji for their study date while she takes the girls to “help” S/O

What do the guys do to prep Ryuji? Well, everyone gives him strange dating advice, besides Akira who now has some experience in being in a relationship.

“I get it, I get it! I won’t say anything stupid, now can ya stop pestering me?”

How do the girls help you? Well, their actually a bit more helpful! Haru and Ann initiate on styling your school uniform a certain way to make it more flashing, and also attempt at styling your hair either by putting in cute hairclips or puffing it up.

Haru will also give you a pep talk before you go home!

“You can do it, Y/N! And if Ryuji-kun breaks your heart, he’ll feel the wrath of my axe!”

“R-Right..”

You meet up with Ryuji at the station, taking the train to Shibuya. It was hot and uncomfortable, being stuffed inbetween students and office workers like a sardine can sucked.

You two sighed in relief as you got off the train, then immediately losing eachother in the ocean of people.

After you two find eachother again, the both of you awkwardly agree to link eachothers arms in order to not lose eachother.

“J-Just hold onto my arm and you’ll be good, alright?”

It wasn’t as busy as you two walked down the streets of Shibuya, the two of you gleaming once you found the ramen place.

The two of you ordered your dishes and started some small talk, it wasn’t actually as awkward as Ryuji imagined it to be. Maybe he was just that comfortable with you to forget that this was supposed to be an awkward first date.

“Oh, you asked me to come here to study, right? So, what do you need help on? We have that English test coming up soon.”

“Huh? O-Oh! I didn’t actually needed to study.. I, uh..”

Yikes, he may have just dug himself a hole to confessing why he really wanted you here.

You noticed that he was hesitant on finishing his sentence, and your mind began to race. Wait, was this meant to be a date? Your cheeks flushed at his true intentions.

“Y-Y’know, if you wanted to hang out with me, you didn’t have to make up an excuse.. I-I would’ve said yes even if you asked me straightforward!”

It was silent for a few seconds, although you were in a public restaurant, it felt like the two of you were alone.

Ryuji finally broke the silence. “Y/N! Honestly, I..”

He got up suddenly, bending down onto the ground and bursting out,

“I like you! Please go out with me!”

Everyone stared at him strangely, did a highschooler just got onto the ground and confessed his feelings?

Speaking of everyone, Ann was intently watching with the rest of the Phantom Theives by her side once again. She is the matchmaker after all, it wouldn’t be efficient to leave the pair alone.

“What a flashy way to confess to someone.” Akira muttered.

“Shh! It’s gonna get good!” Futaba hushed him.

You felt embarrassed, speechless, but also quite flattered. You tried your best to look to answer.

“I-I like you too..!”

Ryuji looks up at you in shock, a blush spread across his cheeks

“F-For real?!”

You silently nod your head, while Ryuji has the biggest smile on his face. This strangely sweet moment only to be interrupted by a worker.

“Hey, kiddos, you either keep quiet or take your buisness somewhere else.”

“S-Sorry!” “Sorry!”

The rest of the date went off without a hitch! The two of you turning small talk into engaging conversations and not having a care in the world.

It was getting dark out, so the two of you went to the train station so you wouldn’t get stuck in Shibuya. Surprisingly enough, the Phantom Thieves were still keeping an eye on you two! Despite everyone else wanting to go home, Ann forced them to stay.

You and Ryuji stood in silence, the only thing you can hear is the echos of doors opening and closing, alongside the footsteps of busy people.

“Hey, Ryuji..”

“What’s up?”

You gulped, shyly fiddling with the straps of your uniform.

“Does this mean we’re dating now?”

Ryuji winced, trying to look for the right answer.

“I mean.. If you want to?”

You tried to hide the growing smile on your face, reaching your fingertips to interlock your hand with his.

“I’d like that.”

“C-Cool beans..!” He slightly squeezed your hand, his muscles soon relaxing.

[Extra]

“Well! My job here is done!” Ann patted down her uniform and grinned in pride. “I also snagged a video of this moment, too~”

“I hope their relationship goes well! We should probably leave them be now.” Haru excitingly said, her mind was running with cheesy romantic scenarios.

“Just make sure Ryuji or Y/N find it.” Akira chuckled at how prideful Ann seemed.

“Eh?! You recorded it? Let me see, let me see!” Futaba hurringly rushed to Ann’s side to take a glimpse of the video.

Afterwards, Ann will definitely tease you both with remarks of “It was so obvious you two liked eachother!” or “This bonehead here is too stupid to do it himself, so I had you help you two out.”

Ann is very happy for the two of you! She’ll prepare outfits for you whenever you and Ryuji go out and, if you’re a female, will do your makeup for you~

Dec 14 2020

Can I just say, this was so fun for me to write!!! I adore this prompt with all my heart and I hope you can tell I put my best effort into it! Please feel free to send in another Ryuji ask, this dork is adorable~

Thank you for Reading!

#ryuji x reader #p5 ryuji #ryuji sakamoto #ann takamaki #persona 5 #persona 5 x reader #persona 5 fanfiction #p5 #f/o ryuji

[paperclipninja]

Lucifer post-ep ramble 5x01

Hi there, long time fangirl, first time Lucifan. After devouring all 4.5 seasons of this magnificent show in an impressive/alarming (all a matter of perspective) amount of time, I have very quickly found myself well and truly obsessed dedicated to all things Lucifer. And when a show grabs me like this one has, I tend to have a lot of thoughts and feelings that I can’t help but share, and so the post-ep ramble was born. It will probably contain many words, it may or may not be particularly coherent, there will definitely be over-analysing, but I thought I might indulge in re-capping the season 5 eps as I re-watch, so this is the first ramble off the rank. 

‘Really Sad Devil Guy’ (A+ ep name btw) kicks off as we’re still scrambling to pick up all our heart pieces after the season 4 finale, which is why Mr. Said Out Bitch (aka Lee Garner) being in Hell is such a cracker of an opening. Lucifer just waiting below deck on Fishizzle II (wth happened to Fishizzle I??) to greet him with his trademark ‘hello’ made me disproportionately happy, mostly because he was on my screen but also because his encounters with Mr. SOB are always great and this was no exception. Getting an insight into ‘life in Hell’, the way the characters in the Hell loops are played by Demons and Lucifer in action as the King was fab at this point in the series. And does anyone else have a visceral reaction to Lucifer stopping that bullet? I know it’s brief, I cannot explain it, it might be the command he has, the fact it’s awesome, but it makes me FEEL things. Just me? Cool.

I think what really strikes me in the way Lucifer just has to pop in on Mr. SOB upon hearing of his arrival, is the fact that he is a link to Lucifer’s life on Earth. They’ve existed in the same places there, breathed the same air, it’s a way for Lucifer to make that connection to his home more tangible. And when he realises where Mr. SOB’s hell loop has them moored, at Marina Del Ray, the way Lucifer says 'Los Angeles' with such yearning makes those heart pieces I had started cobbling back together really begin to ache. What this episode pulls off so brilliantly is the way Chloe and Lucifer remain connected despite being apart, and it’s all set up when Lucifer tells Mr. SOB, ‘You know, there's a good chance I know who's on your case. To them it's only been a few months, a blink of an eye, but here it's been much much longer’.

What’s happening ‘below deck’ in Hell (sorry...or am I?) is of course mirrored at the crime scene, where Maze is still calling Ella Ellen (never change Maze ILY) and Ella is banging on about Lucifer not responding to her DM’s and texts and it’s all so on brand and the thought of her sending Lucifer a clip of a parrot dancing to techno and him finding it funny is just too perf. Maze having Chloe’s back from the get-go and telling Ella to ‘read the room’ just shows how far this Demon has come. And of course Chloe saying that she hasn’t even really thought about Lucifer since he left...(spoiler alert: she has).

Seeing Maze and Chloe out drinking and dancing, somehow they're kinda dorky together and I love it, but it’s also really clear that they’re both leaning on each other pretty heavily and being there for one another and honestly, I love literally every combination of characters on Lucifer, you put any two together and the dynamic is 100% their own and these two are up there. It’s so weird seeing Amandiel running Lux, I big L LOVE Amenadiel but it’s just...wrong. Plus hats off to D.B. because his delivery of ‘No one sells drugs in my place...without me getting a piece of the action’, not gonna lie, I was THROWN.

So are we assuming that the number of months Lucifer has been gone = the number of times Chloe has rocked up to work with a hangover? Lol at the sunglasses but also, you do you Chloe, whatever you gotta do babe. Just like Amenadiel running Lux is like watching a slightly off AU version of the show, so is seeing Maze and Chloe as partners at work. Don’t get me wrong, Maze clearly supporting her and when they’re interrogating a lead, seeing Chloe and Maze have such a groove that they’re finishing each other's sentences and communicating without talking, I dig it. But I love that while it’s great, it still doesn’t feel right. Because that there is why this show is so clever, as an audience we crave the return to the way things were just as the characters we are watching do.

Linda being a completely OTT mum is so fab. I could write an entire essay about my Linda love. Her adamance that ‘Charlie’s special’ and Ella’s ‘every child is special in their mum’s eyes, huh?’ sums it up perfectly. Did I mention I adore Ella? I definitely get the distinct impression Ella is doing a bit of self-reflection, her comment about being drawn to the bad boys for some reason clearly foreshadowing, but also her reflecting that she deserves a good guy for once (just not this ep when there is a bad boy/potential suspect to be hooked up with). I am curious to see the ‘darkness’ Ella has alluded to in earlier seasons being explored further and feel like this is sowing the seeds and I’m also waiting for a significant Linda/Ella D&M at some point. But clearly not this point, because 'science lesson Wednesdays...I checked your schedule and that's your day off' Linda is NOT about deep and meaningfuls (or anyone who isn’t a 2 month old baby), you need to DIAL IT DOWN friend.  I love that it takes Trixie pulling some funny faces and Dan offering some sage parenting advice as he returns the self-help books (love the irony there) for Linda to begin to chill a bit.          

So Dan has gone all new age with his oils and self improvement and you know what? I love it. And then of course we have Amenadiel needing to help make the world a safer place, he just needs to make sure for Charlie ya know and ugh my ovaries. I must say, I was relieved to realise that the club life had not in fact corrupted the delightful warrior we all love after all - it’s all a ploy to catch a REAL BIG TIME drug dealer (nooooo I can feel the second hand embarrassment already...)! Amenadiel setting up the ‘drug bust’, telling the dealer, ‘looks like gooood drugs’, oh you dear sweet naïve Angel you. We of course discover that the bust is, well, a bust, because the ‘drug lord’ is actually a kid trying to offload his mum’s pain meds *insert facepalm emoii here*. But rather than ridicule or be angry, Dan is so understanding and supportive of Amenadiel and once again offers up advice and I really am so into this friendship on every level and the care and openness it models.

Meanwhile, the genius parallel between what is happening on Earth and in Hell really takes effect as Chloe and Maze go undercover (I mean, they are a glam couple lbh) to the poker game while Lucifer is at a game hosted by the same suspect in Mr. SOB’s ‘exquisite’ Hell loop. His exclamation that it’s exquisite reflects that Lucifer and Mr. SOB are not that different, that it’s the kind of place Lucifer might manifest as well, but I also feel that Lucifer could be admiring his own Kingdom’s handiwork at creating LA with such accuracy from someone’s subconscious. He allows himself to be absorbed in it, ‘City of Angels, I’ve missed you’, and I can’t help but get the impression that hearing Lucifer call LA this for the first time is confirmation that his Heaven, or place of Angels, is in fact there with Chloe.

Chloe remains firmly in the forefront of Lucifer’s mind this entire episode, with him asking ‘what would she do?’ and wanting to replicate the life he had with her at the precinct. But of course he is soon reminded of his reality, as he tries to get more information from Mr. SOB who is being useless. Lucifer incorrectly calling him ’Detective’ shatters the illusion that he is any closer to Chloe, and this is impressively emphasised as he erases the LA cityscape to reveal the Hellscape. For a moment he’d let himself believe he was back there. Back home. His, ‘you’re not her’ making some of my heart pieces fall out once again.

But then the messenger arrives, ‘Lord Morningstar, there’s someone you should meet’ and lo and behold it’s guy who just got hit by car up on the Earth-side of this investigation and I.am. loving. it. Also, did Lucifer put out a Hell-wide memo that if ANYONE arrives from LA they are to be bought to him so he can send messages to Chloe through their bodies??? NO REALLY I'M FINE. Having a Demon possess the dead dude’s body to pass on the tip from Lucifer was just TOO MUCH. His, ‘hey is that Mazikeen?’ made me actually lol but also, look how far we’ve come! Chloe doesn’t even flinch when the dead guy wakes up possessed to pass on Lucifer’s message. I’m so proud. 

'It's safe where you stored it' caused me way more amusement than was perhaps intended, but Ella, Maze and Chloe together, trying to figure out what it meant, it's such a great moment and the comedic timing is gold. Also, the fact it actually helps the case, ugh, Chloe and Lucifer are still connected and working together even though they are not on the same plane of existence and I’m just going to need to curl up for a minute because feelings.

You know who else is having a lot of feelings in this ep? The Devil himself. After he is satisfied he has passed on the message, he’s done with Mr. SOB, sending him, ‘back to your torture. And me to mine’. Any remnants of my heart are now once again shattered all over the floor in case you’re wondering. Lucifer doesn’t even try to hide the fact that being away from Chloe is so painful, almost revealing more than he ever usually would when Mr. SOB asks if she’s ‘somebody important?' to which he replies, 'more than you could ever know'. 

He only just stops himself before telling Mr. SOB her name, when he realises he's trying to manipulate him. And I'm so glad, Lucifer so sparingly uses Chloe’s name, it's always significant when he does and I feel like he reserves those moments for only between them. But Mr. SOB really does sum it up when he observes, ‘you just seem like a really sad Devil guy’, BECAUSE HE IS A REALLY SAD DEVIL GUY (can we just take a moment to appreciate how not at all scared of Lucifer Mr. SOB is, he doesn’t even refer to him as THE Devil, just ‘Devil guy’. It’s kind of nice that he sees and accepts him as both Devil and human without really questioning it). 

The parallel continues as Chloe and Lucifer are talking to a sister and brother  and the way this highlights the place they're both in. It's just brilliant writing and execution. Chloe is talking to Meg about her brother’s death and both her and Lucifer's yearning for one another is palpable. At the same time, Maze telling Chloe that they don’t need Lucifer and kissing Chloe highlights Maze’s desire for connection and love. She wants it so badly and the way she shuts down when Chloe suggests they stop working together breaks my heart.

When Lucifer takes Mr. SOB to the root of his Hell loop, yes, it’s about Lucifer projecting his own guilt and lack of self worth onto him, but his assertion that, 'it is inevitable sooner or later you're going to disappoint them all over again. So you'd rather stay away for all eternity’, really feels as though it carries multiple meanings. As a self-referential comment, is Lucifer talking about Heaven or Earth? Is it his fear of disappointing and letting down Chloe and the other humans or is it his belief that he disappointed his family? And if Angels self-actualise does that mean he was never 'stuck' in Hell at all and could have returned to Heaven? I certainly feel there is some sort of realisation occurring here. Or could be completely over-analysing it. Why not have both 🤷‍♀️

You know the line that just up and got me though? ‘Whose hell is this anyway? Are you sure this is my hell? You just here torturing yourself’- Mr. SOB calling Lucifer out is A MOMENT. And I can’t help but wonder if a part of it is Lucifer wanting Mr. SOB to come to terms with his own guilt, wanting to help him because he knows he’s not evil and he is trying to reconcile his own guilt too. If he can help Mr. SOB face and let go of the guilt then he has a chance of it too. And that’s when Mr. SOB challenges Lucifer, pointing out that he missed his chance, ‘but what about you?’ 'The self-centred simplicity of you humans never ceases to amaze me...I am here out of responsibility, I had to protect humanity, I had to protect HER', the delivery of this line, the frustration of being misunderstood, of ppl thinking that he acts for himself when his very reason for being back in Hell is for others, I can feel it through the screen.

The dead guy we saw get shot in the kitchen appearing at that moment with news about ‘the Detective’ and then cutting straight back to the shoot up in the house, file under: how to brilliantly edit. “Lucifer” appearing; the whistle, the casually strolling in, the ‘hello bad guys’ = I was FOOLED. I mean you have to admit, the ‘thought I'd give you a hand' pun was well played, classic Lucifer, very convincing.  My shipper heart was SO FULL for the split second Lucifer and the Detective kissed, until Chloe realised that something was off and her open eyes told us something was up. The cut back to Hell and seeing Lucifer still standing there with Mr. SOB...you may have heard my ‘noooooooo’ from wherever you are. ‘She’ll be just fine without me’...said every Devil who has a dick twin brother who’s going to try and destroy, nay STEAL, his life and love of his life ever.

Michael, you're an evil bastard but damn you nailed that villainous smirk over-the-shoulder pose in the final shot. Whatever you have in store, I will no doubt revel in your awfulness and be confused about whether or not I hate you. 

#lucifer #lucifans #lucifer 5x01 #ramble #lucifer morningstar #chloe decker #ella lopez #dan espinoza #amenadiel #deckerstar #recap

[vaguely-concerned]

Mass Effect: Annihilation thoughts

TL;DR I fucking LOVED IT, a balm to my heart after struggling through Nexus Uprising! Also canonical lesbians! The sweetest quarian & his badass grandma! Elcor Hamlet except this time it’ll make you cry!!! 

- Aaaaaah the audiobook reader is Tom Taylorson (so male Ryder)!! Fryda Wolf (female Ryder) read the two others and did a nice job, but man I’m soft for his voice in a way only rivaled by (...outside-of-Overwatch!)Jennifer Hale and Nicholas Boulton haha. He also has a much better handle on the pronunciations and voices for the different alien species -- delightful, I’m still cackling over his pitch perfect elcor impersonation. (Bioware please give him more Scott Ryder to voice I miss my son)

- I’m only about half an hour in and this is already SO much better than Nexus Uprising, it really does feel like a brave new galaxy haha. Very funny, very warm and smart and engaging in how it does its characterization and Valente clearly has affection for the setting and the universe, she and Jemisin both do incredible jobs with these. 

- I’m fucking crying laughing at this cross-species near-brawl over a flower arrangement, god I love Mass Effect SO MUCH (what a neat idea though. something blooming quietly even when no one can see it. impractical as hell and hilariously including a high-nutrition celery now, but still neat)

Taylorson continues to wonderful things with the voices, that volus suit sound is so good. (he’s just generally really good at comedy) also a volus bellowing insults ‘moments before punching an anti-bouquet batarian in the groin’ sdafhjklsahfsjadkhfklajshdfkjlsadhf

- a high as a kite elcor... what a time to be alive, to get to read this book

I have already reached the ‘I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS BAR’ stage with these characters, hard boiled drell detective lady and sweet sweet quarian first officer and manically enthusiastic elcor doctor TOT I would die for any one of you!!!

- The quarian/multispecies ark was built for long-term habitation, potentially over multiple generations. So what you’re telling me is that the quarians are the only ones who fucking thought this through and the rest of the Initiative probably should have listened to the people who’ve essentially been living on arks for ages. Who’d’ve thunk huh lol. (I guess the in-universe explanation is that people like the mysterious benefactor just wanted those arks yeeted to Andromeda ASAP, no time to get fancy in case the Reapers changed up their schedule. Fair enough)

- ;n; petition to let senna have a SAM pls (also uh. how happy do you think the stringently anti-AI quarian pathfinder will be when he finds out about everyone else’s SAMs lol lol lol he’s going to PASS OUT FROM RAGE upon meeting ryder. well he sounds like an asshole, I hope he dies so senna gets a chance)  

- I can’t BELIEVE yorrik is an anti-stratfordianist, i am betRAYED! disgraceful, how can I still love you knowing this (and yet I do he is extremely funny and sweet)!!! (at least his theory is that this so-called ‘shakespeare’ was actually an elcor, which makes it better somehow lol. anything so long as he’s not an oxfordian tbh)

senna and yorrik’s friendship is so good and wholesome 

- I really love the consistent alien POVs in this book, mass effect should indulge in this more -- everyone loves this universe so much, bioware, stop making us squint through a human lense to look at it!!  

- oh of course quarian ‘pirates’ exist, the people who’re thrown out of the fleet must be doing something huh. 

- haven’t written that many notes in a while just because I’m enjoying myself so much, I keep forgetting 

- lfsdkhfsajkldhfskadjhfsjakdfhsdkjfh communist volus!!!! this is not a drill, communist volus! I am completely and utterly charmed by this entire book

- the quarian ancestor VI is so interesting and weirdly touching. senna is adorable (and relatably neurotic lol)

grandma AI smoking T___________T I love everything about this, she’s so cool. the worldbuilding being done around pre-geth revolution rannoch here... exquisite 

- way to make me cry about batarians cat valente ;_______;

- the voice acting is SO FUCKING GOOD! I keep forgetting it’s one dude reading all these characters haha, I caught myself wanting to look up who voiced this dying batarian. (special shoutout that he does so many wonderfully distinct and specific female voices!) 

- haHA I KNEW the quarian VI was a full AI (or near enough that it makes little difference tbh)!!! this fabulous grandma was self aware the entire time b i t c h e s !!!!

- the running joke of borbala’s ‘you need ______? I can make _______ happen’ is SO satisfying hahaha

ooooooh serious femslash vibes!!!! initially I thought batarian ex-crime matriarch was too old for drell PI, but this is undeniable. (I don’t think we actually ever get to know how old annex is, anyway, come to think of it) I guess if asari get to be five times older than everyone else and still fuck freely this isn’t really that weird lol

- “don’t look! it’s not so bad if you don’t look!” ofhsdalfhskldlsfjas oh senna baby boy 

hey qetsi? qetsi both senna and I love grandma liat more than you. stand the fuck down 

- NOOOO GRANDMA LIAT ;______________________________________;

- do you think SAM could meet liat (either ship!liat or just grandma!liat).... and have... a friend ;_________; (a cool laidback friend who isn’t a murderous angaran ai who might very well go the murder suicide sort of friendship route lol) 

anyway I miss SAM a lot and love him??

- yorrik noooooooooooo this is awful everything is bad and terrible I love all of them so much why must senna be sad and watch everything he loves fade away 😭😭😭

“Will all great Neptune’s ocean wash this blood/Clean from my hand?” He realized he’d forgotten to preface the words with an emotion. Now they wouldn’t understand what he meant.

Oh. Oh what a way to drive home the sadness and loneliness of this moment f u c k  (and again the emotion taylorson brings to it jesus cHRIST) 

I’m destroyed over how much senna and yorrik love each other, cross species found family out here wrecking my heart in true mass effect style 

- yorrik is such a great character though. he’d be so easy to make a one-note joke character (like most elcor have been in canon lbr), but there’s nuance and depth and just enough satsifyingly believable alienness there. (I love the staunch elcor ‘you can’t call anything love that hasn’t lasted at least two centuries’ perspective haha) his memories of his childhood and disappointment with his profession and everything... goodnight sweet prince indeed :(

- they went and made elcor hamlet heartbreaking how dare they 

(to be real for a second I think some of the human culture references are a little bit clunky, but the elcor hamlet stuff is perfect. contextualizing a throwaway joke from the original trilogy and giving it emotional depth, helping us see it from the elcor perspective and how frustrating and lonely it is to be so fundamentally not emotionally understood or seen on a level most of the other races are, despite their other differences, even though you have all these feelings and want to communicate... its very good.)   

fun additional fact: both mordin and yorrik have played/wanted to play polonius in a production of hamlet! though I guess mordin is the slightly problematic fave in that duo and yorrik is a sweet melancholic angel who has never done anything wrong in his life, I would say protect him but I guess it’s too late for that D:  

- qetsi giving off some real ophelia vibes here, I wish yorrik was here to see it, he’s the only one who’d properly appreciate it despite it all

- I. am. SO FUCKING HUNGRY for more mass effect after this (well even more so than usual) I’m so hyped!! I love this universe so much! I want a new andromeda game with senna as quarian pathfinder and grandma liat as the ship’s AI and see how they interact with ryder and SAM! (honestly though I feel like senna might be the one who’d translate the most cleanly into a game, I think there’s a lot of potential in him that’s barely being realized towards the end there with his deep righteous rage cutting through his uncertainty. also I just want nice things for him. is that so much to ask. he is a good boy, yorrik was so right.)

- aaaah not just femslash vibes, canonical lesbians, this is not a drill! I can’t wait until they propose... ‘we get shit done together, want to be in good cop/bad cop with me until the day we die y/n?’  

- the ME universe doesn’t feel quite itself without all these ‘background’ species hanging around, I suddenly realize. I dream of an Andromeda sequel with all of them on the board and in play again Y-------Y 

- potential Liat and SAM dynamics are so fucking interesting though! if she becomes/is confirmed as a full AI (all I hope and dream of), you’ll have two artificial intelligences with such different starting points but not that dissimilar goals? Liat was an organic person once who’s looking out for her family even now, and SAM is completely artificial but also intimately tied to and protecting His People. (and pulling a whole lot of symbolic weight re: the strength of familial/interpersonal relationships to boot; he’s the best way alec ryder managed to connect with his children. even though he was dead. because as established alec ryder was a disaster of a person)  

- I enjoyed the loose murder mystery structure of this quite a lot, but that might also be because nexus uprising is so shapeless and meandering by comparison that I’d be relieved by anything else (sorry I’ll stop ragging on NU soon it just. took some hours of my life I can’t get back)  

- jemisin did great stuff for characters already in andromeda (cora, SAM, alec ryder) and valente made me remember just why I love this universe so much and desperately want these aspects brought to andromeda too... and now I’ve exhausted all the fresh mass effect content I had available to me and will sit here consumed with lust for the rest of the time it takes for a new game to be announced thank you and goodbye  

#mass effect #mass effect andromeda #mass effect annihilation #*vibrates silently with cravings for more mass effect all while knowing it's gonna be a good goddamn while yet* #thank you cat valente this was a very nice gift

[artificialqueens]

Not Nineteen Forever (9) (Branjie/Scyvie) - Ortega

a/n: it’s BA-ACK! hope u guys enjoy this chapter, and as always pls send me love to my blog/to this blog because i love attention xo

please note: this fic contains young adults often behaving in irresponsible/unadvisable ways with regards to alcohol, drugs and sex. if you are someone who feels as if they could be heavily influenced by fic and incorporate what happens in the plot into ur own life, pls steer clear!

summary: Brooke, Yvie and Nina are three flatmates who forged a friendship in their first year of university and picked up some other waifs and strays along the way. Now in their final year, there are feelings that need to be unravelled and confessions to be made whilst navigating drunk nights, hungover mornings, takeaways, group chats, library meetups, cafe gossiping, and the small matter of getting a degree.

last chapter: supermarket chaos, and Brooke found out about the Branjie sweepstake. she didn’t take it well.

this chapter: Brooke and Vanessa talk things out, and there’s apologies to be said.

***

It had started to rain. Brooke was beginning to regret her choice of jacket- a leather one without a hood- but she had been going to wash her hair that evening anyway, and she supposed that was the least of her worries at the moment. As the rain began to batter down, Brooke realised that half the reason why her face was wet was because she was crying. It didn’t make any sense for that to be the case- Brooke was angry, fucking fuming to be specific, but she wasn’t necessarily sad. Perhaps embarrassed was the correct word, she thought, as she swiped at her face with her sleeve. The thought of her entire friendship group having a good laugh at her and Vanessa’s expense made her cheeks burn and the blood in her veins do the same.

Brooke didn’t really know where she was walking to, but she knew where she was walking from, and she was damned if she was going back to the flat anytime soon. Sniffing harshly, she removed her phone from her pocket and called Vanessa, the other girl picking up in about one and a half rings.

“Hey.”

“Hey, baby,” Vanessa’s voice was defeated. Brooke decided it was the worst thing she’d ever heard in her entire life.

“Sorry for phoning. I just had to talk to you after all that shit on the group chat, I mean…how could they fucking do that, Ness, our own fucking friends? I just-”

“I’m fuckin’ raging at them, Brooke, honestly. I went out for shopping then I got those messages through and I’ve not been able to concentrate since. I’ve just been pacin’ and pacin’ around Sainsbury’s like a fuckin’ bear in a zoo. Look, where are you just now?”

“Um,” Brooke began, scanning her surroundings. She’d been walking so fast that she’d barely been taking them in. “In the middle of the park. I’m about five minutes from Sainsbury’s, actually.”

“I’ll meet you halfway, okay? See you soon.“

With that, Vanessa abruptly hung up. Brooke took it more as a comment on her friends and not herself. As she began walking with some purpose at last, Brooke found herself wondering what she was actually going to say to Vanessa when they saw each other. Rant, probably. But there was something that instantly calmed Brooke down knowing she would be seeing Vanessa soon and get to hold her, having her reassure her and placate her.

It ended up being about three-quarters due to Vanessa’s shorter legs rendering her slower and Brooke’s long ones ensuring she took big strides. Brooke saw her coming towards her from a distance just at the park’s edge and as they both reached out for a hug, they crashed into each other with a force that accurately conveyed both their anger and just how much they seemed to have missed each other in the 24 hour period they’d been apart.

“Fuck them,” Vanessa muttered into Brooke’s jacket. She was wearing her massive parka, the one with the fluffy pink hood. To Brooke, it made her all the more cuddly. She gave her a squeeze around her middle and tilted her chin up to press a quick kiss to her lips, coming back again for a second, then a third.

“Let’s go somewhere,” Brooke decided, slipping her arm through Vanessa’s and instantly feeling about 80% calmer. “There’s that new bar that opened up round the corner. Could try there?”

They walked towards it wordlessly, a journey that only took about three minutes but in that time hundreds of unsavoury thoughts had begun to swirl around in Brooke’s head like floating bits of food waste down a plughole. She waited until they had found a booth through the back in relative quiet and until Vanessa had shrugged her damp jacket off before she let rip.

“I just can’t fucking believe it, Ness. Like, I know we kept stuff from everyone but a fucking sweepstake. Jesus Christ. The thought of everyone sitting and putting bets and watching our every move…like how long has it been going on for?! How long have we just been like performing monkeys to them?! I mean Christ, we only just found out we liked each other less than a month ago!” Brooke hissed, Vanessa sitting and nodding rapidly in affirmation as she spoke.

“I’m just hurt,” she sighed heavily, breaking Brooke’s heart in the process. “I mean I don’t know why I didn’t tell Silk and Kiki, but I just…didn’t. Everything was so new and weird between us. Hell, I guess it still is."

Brooke smiled back at Vanessa across the table, who was shooting a shy one her way. "I guess that was why I never told Yvie and Nina either. I didn’t want them making fun of us. Guess that turned out well."

Vanessa gave a quick laugh that lit up Brooke’s insides. She fumbled around in her jacket pocket for her purse. "What do you want to drink? I’ll get them in."

Too exhausted to argue over who was paying, Brooke conceded. "Gin and lemonade.”

Vanessa gave a wordless nod as she strutted up to the bar. Self-conscious of being left on her own, Brooke took out her phone and flipped it over in her hands. There weren’t any new messages to the chat- it was likely that the girls were using whatever one they had for the sweepstake to talk about what had happened in private- but Brooke had a string of missed calls from Yvie and Nina, and a few from Scarlet. There was a sole voicemail from Nina, which Brooke listened to.

“Brooke, hey, it’s me. Call me when you get this, or Yvie, or any of us really. We’re all really sorry and we’re worried about you.”

At that moment, Brooke could hear Yvie’s voice in the background, panicked and harsh, yelling at Nina about how nobody left voicemails in this day and fucking age and how Brooke was unlikely to even listen to it.

“Uh, yeah, so to sum up- we’re sorry, we love you, call us. Bye.”

Brooke couldn’t help but quirk a smile at that. She loved Nina so much, the girl was so kind-hearted and loving and caring. Which was why it made her betrayal all the more hurtful and so damn fucking confusing. Why would Nina do something like that to Brooke? Unless of course, Nina didn’t see it that way at all. Unless she really genuinely thought Brooke and Vanessa would have found it funny.

Brooke was deep in thought as Vanessa returned with one gin and lemonade, one pink gin and lemonade, and a packet of salt and vinegar kettle chips.

“Fifteen forty-five for all of that. You better buy me some diamonds or some shit and then we’re even,” she quipped, raising her eyebrows as she sat down opposite Brooke. She smiled indulgently at her.

“Can I ask you something?” Brooke began hesitantly, her mind still working overtime. “If I had wanted to set up a sweepstake about like…Scarlet and Yvie. Or Nina and Monet. Would you have gone along with it?”

Vanessa shrugged and sipped her drink. “Yeah, because that shit’s funny. And cute, because it’s them. It’s different with us. We ain’t…you know. We ain’t like them.”

Brooke frowned a little and tried not to dwell on Vanessa’s justification, focusing more on her current train of thought. “But maybe that’s what the others thought when they made that sweepstake for us. Maybe they genuinely thought it was funny."

Vanessa narrowed her eyes. "Nina thinks that Michael MacIntyre is a funny comedian, it don’t make her correct.”

Brooke pulled a face and sipped her own drink. She’d been so angry and quick to judge, but now that she was with Vanessa and she’d had time to calm down, maybe the others were right. Maybe they’d both gone about this whole thing in the wrong way. Brooke hadn’t realised she’d been staring into space until she heard Vanessa drum on the table with her nails.

“So, uh,” she bit her lip and smiled up at Brooke. “You like me, huh?”

Brooke’s blood suddenly turned to ice. “What?”

Vanessa had gone a little bit red. It was out of character for her, and it made Brooke blush as well. “Earlier. You basically said you liked me.”

Brooke felt her speech catch in her throat. “Well I meant…we had that conversation in Liezen-”

“About how we liked kissing each other, yeah. And then we had a conversation about how we liked fuckin’ each other. But we’ve never had a conversation about actually liking each other. You were the one that said that,” Vanessa finished Brooke’s sentence mischievously. Brooke suddenly found herself wishing she was directly above a trapdoor that would plummet her into the Earth’s core and burn her to a crisp. She simply stared at Vanessa with her mouth open slightly, wondering what the correct thing to say was. Vanessa only laughed in response, growing more red as she spoke again. “So you like me?"

Brooke forced herself to look at the table top. If she looked at Vanessa she’d die. This was the moment she’d been waiting basically her entire university career for, the speech she’d been rehearsing for about three years, so why couldn’t she physically speak? She took a sip of her drink and grew a set of balls and locked eyes with Vanessa. "Yeah, I do.”

Vanessa’s face broke out into an uncontrollable smile as she tipped her head back to the ceiling, and Brooke found her heart going into cardiac arrest. “Do you, uh. Do you…feel…the same about me?"

Vanessa burst out laughing, Brooke wondering how what felt like her life hanging in the balance could be so funny to her. "Take a fuckin’ guess.”

Brooke spluttered an awkward, nervous laugh. It seemed like a yes? She felt like Vanessa wouldn’t have taken things as far as they’d gone if it wasn’t. “Yes?”

Vanessa tucked her hair behind her ears, tried to suppress her smile, and failed. In a quiet voice, she confirmed. “Fuck, Brooke…I’m crazy about you”

Brooke felt her heart explode and her eyes transform into love hearts and all of her insides get churned around like a cement mixer. She laughed and reached for Vanessa’s hand across the table. “Jesus. Well. Good. Okay. I really want to kiss you.”

Vanessa rapidly bounced into the seat beside Brooke like an excitable bunny and met her lips with her own. They kissed hard and passionately, and Vanessa had her hands tangled in Brooke’s damp hair and fuck, Brooke would need to pull away before things escalated and they were barred from the pub for doing something indecent. So Brooke pulled back, Vanessa tilting her head up needily, pouting and letting out a small whine.

“Whining,” Brooke simply said, a warning tone to her voice which made Vanessa’s pout get bigger and her eyes flash a little with lust. It shot Brooke back to when Vanessa was writhing underneath her with her face buried in the pillow and her hips squirming and bucking, as Brooke made her beg for what she wanted and the other girl kept up a litany of moans and whines and sighs. Fuck, no wonder Yvie and Nina had called bullshit when Brooke had denied everything. “Bratty behaviour.”

“Yeah well, I like getting my way,” Vanessa shrugged, smiling deliciously and flicking her eyes down to Brooke’s lips. Lowering her voice, she whispered. “And I’m touching myself under the table.”

Brooke almost choked. Rapidly, she craned her neck to find Vanessa’s hands sat against the leather covers of the seat, absolutely nowhere near her crotch. As Brooke sighed in relief and only about 60% disappointment, Vanessa howled a laugh. “Oh my God! Bitch! You are so fucking easy to wind up! It’s too fucking easy!”

“You’re too fucking easy, you big slut,” Brooke deadpanned, pushing Vanessa’s shoulder and letting out a laugh in spite of herself. Sighing, she picked at the crisps. “Speaking of big sluts. Our friends.”

“Yes.”

Brooke exhaled. “You know, now that I actually know you like me, the sweepstake does seem kind of funny.”

Vanessa smiled guiltily. “Yeah. Kinda does.”

Brooke frowned. “I mean they’re still absolute dicks for doing it in the first place, but our friends are dicks. What’s new.”

“True. I’m still mad at them though.”

“Ness. We didn’t tell them a single thing about what’s happening between us. The least they’re going to do is speculate. We did kind of make our beds a little bit here,” Brooke sighed, taking another handful of crisps. Vanessa exhaled and rolled her eyes.

“Can we at least make them feel real shit about it?”

“Yes. Although I don’t know if you’ll succeed with Silky.”

“That bitch could bomb half the Southern hemisphere and she’d still maintain it was the funniest joke she’d ever played,” Vanessa raised her eyebrows, Brooke snorting a laugh beside her. As they both grew quiet, Brooke found herself laying a protective arm over Vanessa’s shoulders.

“Hey. You okay?”

Vanessa looked up at her, her dark eyes and blown pupils making them seem so huge and deep, and Brooke knew they weren’t girlfriends yet but she felt so lucky to even be with her, beside her, knowing that she liked her and Vanessa liked her back. That was enough for now.

“I’m good. I just don’t want to go back to the flat. It’s gonna be awkward,” Vanessa pouted, Brooke pulling a face as she agreed.

“It will. But you’ll be fine. You’ll all talk it out and we’ll all go back to normal. That’s all I want to do at the moment.“

"You want to…oh,” Vanessa’s face looked downcast, and Brooke instantly registered that she’d got the wrong end of the stick.

“No, no, no, not with us! I’m happy for us to still be doing…all this,” Brooke gave Vanessa’s shoulder a squeeze and the other girl relaxed. “This is good. I like it. It’s like an upgraded version of friendship.”

“Right,” Vanessa smiled cheekily, Brooke now able to fully relax.

They finished up their drinks and the rest of the crisps and made their way outside, where it had stopped raining and was now just replaced with cold dampness, puddles on the pavement shining despite the clouds. Brooke’s arm had moved to rest around Vanessa’s waist at her hip, and she didn’t really want to let go. Knowing they were about to leave each other, Vanessa turned and kissed Brooke gently, something almost fragile to it as if she was afraid she’d fracture or break.

Unable to believe it, Brooke asked Vanessa to confirm. “So, uh. You actually like me?”

Vanessa burst out laughing, Brooke feeling as if she was blushing all the way up to her scalp. “Of course I do, you fuckin’ idiot.”

Brooke couldn’t help the dumb smile that spread across her face. The novelty of knowing that would never wear off.

They squeezed each other a goodbye, and Brooke started back to her flat. She suddenly felt the trepidation overtake her, wondering what would happen when she arrived back. Would Yvie be furious at her? She seemed pretty apologetic when Brooke had been shouting at her. Fuck, why did she shout at her? Yvie was her best friend, for fuck’s sake, and things had already been so fragile between them. She’d wanted to make amends, Brooke had known that, and then she’d overreacted and ruined it all. Brooke felt the tears sting at her eyes as she quickened her pace. What if Nina hated her now too? Kind, sweet Nina who had never done anything malicious to anyone in her life. Scarlet had been at the flat too. She probably thought Brooke was a complete and utter dick for the way she’d acted. Jesus Christ, everyone probably hated her. What was the point of going home? Everyone was talking about her on that separate group chat, probably wondering how they could avoid her for the rest of the year. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

By the time Brooke got home and climbed the numerous stairs up to her flat she was hyperventilating so badly that her chest felt tight and constricted, as if a snake had wrapped itself around her ribcage. She immediately stumbled through to the kitchen, filled up the nearest glass (she didn’t care if it was clean or dirty), reached up to her shelf on the cupboard and ripped into the little packet of beta blockers she kept there. She took one every morning but sometimes life called for two per day, even though the packet urged her not to and her anxiety often spiked after the second one anyway as she panicked and worried about heart failure.

Brooke took deep breaths and steadied herself against the kitchen counter. The small living room was empty and Brooke knew exactly where Yvie and Nina would be. She wondered if Scarlet was still here, embarrassment overtaking her and threatening to ruin the tiny, fragile, tissue-paper level of calm she’d managed to return herself to. She took two more deep breaths, pressing her feet deeply into the soles of her shoes and trying to ground herself as much as she could. She had to face the girls at some stage. They were her flatmates, for fuck’s sake.

So Brooke tentatively slipped off her trainers, still absolutely soaked from the rain and the various puddles she’d stepped in on the way home. She knocked on Yvie’s door and waited for the shouts of “come in”- two, not three, she noted. Opening the door, she saw Yvie and Nina tucked up in Yvie’s bed together, both on their phones. They put them down as Brooke came in and smiled- Nina’s was warm and Yvie’s more nervous.

“Hey,” Yvie was the first to speak, Nina opening her arms and Brooke feeling herself flopping down on top of the duvet in the small space between her two flatmates.

“ ’M sorry,” she muttered, the proud side of her hoping that the duvet would conceal most of her apology. Brooke heard Nina tut and felt a body lean over to hug her.

“No, baby, we’re sorry. We’ve been shit friends and shouldn’t have put that pressure on you and Vanessa to do anything. We thought it was just a joke, but it’s your damn potential relationship. We should have thought,” Nina sighed, Brooke immediately consumed with guilt at having ever been angry with her friends.

“I mean, you did still behave like an asshole,” Brooke heard Yvie’s voice, causing her to let out a laugh. Funny cuz it’s true. “But so did we. And we’re sorry.”

Brooke sat up on her elbows and finally faced her friends, her best fucking friends in the world. She realised she was crying again and got annoyed at herself. “Stupid fucking tears.”

“Tears are valid! Crying is valid! Don’t you dare bottle shit up!” Nina chastised her, coming across as more of a mum than ever. Brooke let out a half-sob, half-laugh.

“I should’ve let you guys in, I should’ve talked to you about it. About everything. Maybe you would’ve helped me make sense of the fucking mincemeat that Vanessa’s turned my brain into. I’m so sorry,” Brooke sighed, Yvie opening her arms for a cuddle which she accepted gratefully.

“We’re sorry. You’re sorry. We’re all sorry. Let’s be friends again, bitch, I hate falling out with you,” Yvie pleaded, Brooke squeezing her tight and feeling a soft weight against her as Nina joined in the hug.

“I love you guys so much,” Brooke whispered, Nina and Yvie returning the sentiment and Brooke finally feeling as if something in her life was settled. They stayed cuddled up as Brooke frowned.

“Where’s Scarlet?”

“Went home. She thought we’d need some flat time when you got back.”

“Fuck, Yvie-”

“If you apologise again I’m going to smack you. We’re fine. I also have a fuckton of bolognaise that can’t all fit into the freezer so if you’re really sorry you’ll eat it all,” Yvie deadpanned, then noticed the look of acceptance on Brooke’s face. “Brooke it’s a fucking joke, right, it’s a fucking joke, please don’t gorge yourself on bolognaise trying to prove something.”

Brooke felt a small bubble of laughter escape her mouth, and Nina began chuckling beside her until all three of the friends were laughing in a heap on Yvie’s bed.

“I feel like I’ve missed so much. How is Scarlet? How are you two going?” Brooke asked, staring up at Yvie’s ceiling.

“We’re good. She’s…amazing. She’s funny and dorky and cute and a complete dumbass whilst simultaneously being the most intelligent person I’ve ever met. She’s a fucking kinky bitch though, complete definition of a dark horse,” Yvie let out a small laugh, Nina gasping theatrically.

“Oh my Christ! A match made in heaven if ever there was one.”

“Excuse me, Miss, don’t think you get off easy,” Brooke sat up on her elbow and turned to her. “You and Monet? What’s that all about, you actually got your shit together and told her that you like her?”

“Not exactly,” Nina began to explain, her face already strawberry-red as she spoke about her crush (or maybe girlfriend. Fuck, Brooke had missed a lot). “She took the lead on everything. Told me she’d liked me since we started taking the same modules together this year. Told me I was the most beautiful girl she’d ever met. Basically filling my head with lies.”

“Shut up, you insecure son of a bitch, and accept the love,” Yvie thumped her, Nina giving an exaggerated cry.

“We went for a date the other day. It was so nice, Brooke, she’s a total sweetheart. I can’t believe she actually likes me, of all people,” Nina’s voice grew small, and Brooke felt guilt stab at her stomach. Nina hadn’t had any relationships for as long as Brooke had known her, so of course as she was about to enter into a potential one she’d be doubting herself and wondering and worrying too much. Brooke needed to be there for her.

“Of course she likes you. You’re legitimately the best person I know,” Brooke pouted. “Yvie’s right. Don’t you dare overthink this, bitch. Monet likes you, it’s that simple.”

Nina raised her eyebrows and fixed Brooke with a look of disbelief. “Brooke Lynn Hytes is telling me not to overthink things? Jesus, someone call Trevor McDonald. I want to put this on the News at 10.”

As the girls laughed and Brooke rolled her eyes, Yvie’s phone began to ring. Brooke and Nina listened with interest as she answered, the smile that appeared when she saw who was calling dictating it could only be Scarlet.

“Hey, boo…no, she’s back now…about ten minutes ago. Okay,” a laugh and then Yvie’s face grew red. “Okay…okay, I’ll see you. Okay. Lov- Okay. Bye!”

Brooke and Nina exchanged a look. Brooke knew what she’d heard. Or, almost heard. Nina spoke before her.

“Was that an, um…an L-word that almost got dropped there, Yvelynn Oddly?” she said schemingly, Yvie’s face suddenly appearing as pink as if she’d been smacked.

“What? No? You guys,” Yvie muttered, rolling her eyes and throwing her phone down on the bed. Brooke raised an eyebrow at her.

“Excuse me, I just learned my lesson here. Share shit with your friends. Come on, spill the fucking beans or we’ll start a sweepstake about you.”

“It’s honestly nothing.”

“We want to hear anything! However mediocre,” Nina cried, sitting bolt upright excitedly. Yvie rolled her eyes.

“Fine. I’ll spill the mediocrity and beans,” she sighed, shrugging and pausing before she spoke. “You guys know I love you, because I tell you all the time. I tell all my friends all the time. And I used to tell Scarlet all the time too but now, of course…it means a hell of a lot more.”

“Oh, babe,” Brooke sighed sympathetically. It had never occurred to her before, but she used to do the same with Vanessa, and Vanessa used to tell her all the time too. It was one of the things that used to stab at her heart, a small twist of a knife in her stomach. Since Yvie’s birthday, neither of them had said it to the other. Brooke missed it.

“I keep going to say it when I usually would…at the end of phonecalls…when we say goodbye to each other…when she does something nice for me. And I know all of our other areas of the whole relationship are going fast, like we were already girlfriends and I barely even took her on a date. I’m just cautious, but even though I’m trying hard not to say it, it still threatens to come out at times.”

“There’s a difference between being in love with someone and just loving them,” Nina chimed in thoughtfully.

“No, I know,” Yvie reassured her. “But at the same time, I don’t know what the fuck it feels like to be in love with someone either! It’s never happened to me before. So how the fuck am I supposed to know? Shit, I could be in love with Scarlet and I might not even know.”

Brooke bit her lip, completely understanding where Yvie was coming from. She cast a glance to Nina and felt her stomach tighten. Out of the three of them, none were particularly well-versed in relationships. Yvie had seen a couple of girls over the years and was the queen of one night stands, but nothing had ever come of them. Brooke had dated a couple of guys back in her first year back when she still thought she was bi and then had realised she was 100% lesbian when she’d taken her first girl back from the gay club in town, then after that she’d spent most of her time pining over Vanjie. And Nina was Nina. The girl would have to be waterboarded before she actively made a move on someone. She let out a laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Nina asked, already smiling. Brooke’s laugh got louder and she let out a faux-scream.

“Bitch! Look at us. We’ve all finally got the girls we like to like us back and none of us knows what the fuck to do about it!”

Yvie and Nina joined in with her laughter, soon growing hysterical as the girls screeched beside her. They were soon interrupted by all three of their phones going off at the same time.

“Vanjie’s been reinstated. Shit, I need to change her nickname,” Yvie smiled, pouncing on her phone. Smiling, Brooke checked her phone.

large incongruous silkworm spiced praline added Vanessa Vanjie Mateo.

Vanessa Vanjie Mateo: Alright hoes

Vanessa Vanjie Mateo: Two things

Yvie Oddly set the nickname for Vanessa Vanjie Mateo to Brooke’s Ford Transit Vanjie.

Okay Then: (shrek voice) OH HELLO THERE

Brooke’s Ford Transit Vanjie: Who’s down for film night at ours tonight

Kim Kardashian-West: ALL OF US!!!

Yvie’s bitch: MEEEEE xxxxxxxxxxxx

Okay Then: Okay then

Brooke’s Ford Transit Vanjie: Second thing

Brooke’s Ford Transit Vanjie: Who had Yvie’s birthday in the sweepstake

“Bitch!! Knew it!!” Yvie laughed, thumping Brooke on the arm, the other girl laughing good-humouredly. She shot a message off to Vanessa.

Brooke: Things went well with Silk and Akeria then? xxx

Vanessa: Silk actually apologised wtf

Vanessa: but yeah they were cute and it went well xxx

Brooke: Good. I’ll come over with the girls later xxx

Vanessa: Staying over?

Brooke’s heart gave a jump.

Brooke: Yes! If you want me to

Vanessa: Always want you to boo xxx

Brooke turned her phone over and listened to Yvie, now stressed and talking about their upcoming exams. In contrast, Brooke hadn’t felt this calm in a long while.

#rpdr fanfiction #not nineteen forever #n19f #ortega #s11 #branjie #scyvie #background ninex #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #yvie oddly #scarlet envy #lesbian au #university au #college au #nina west #akeria davenport #silky nutmeg ganache #plastique tiara

[sagittariusboyfriend]

lmao oh man. ok ive been talking to a guy who from the start knew i wasnt interested in any romantic stuff - i told him up front, he told me he wasnt either. cool cool. so we met for a coffee and yeah im not attracted to him, but he is intellectually stimulating u know. like where you can have many hours of conversation because hes really communicative and blunt and honest and has a very different view on life than me etc. which i like about him. i learn so much from direct opposites. we become friends. well, flirty friends, but honestly he is the only one doing the flirting during this entire time. ive been very specific not to as to not send any mixed signals, and have had to dodge some straight-forward sexual stuff a few times. not at all because i dont want to talk sex, we have absolutely talked sex, but not with each other, and i just really dont want him to think im attracted.

however he turned out to be a pretty... petty and unchill person. at times, anyway. as i said i like talking to him and do so quite often, or did so anyway, up until recently. a while ago he started to get very contrarian, like, edgy? rude, but at first in a playful way. i dont have a problem with rude when its in a playful/comunicative way, im amused by that and i indulge in dishing it back playfully from time to time. but it was very obvious he was doing it because i mentioned i was into "rude" guys, maybe once, when we were talking about my former love interests. and by rude i definitely dont mean as in someone whos all high and mighty, self-entitled, or stuff like personal attacks, im talking about a kind of humor, or in a charming, charismatic and mischievous way. and maybe that is my fault for not specifying what that actually meant, idk. its still kind of strange completely rearranging your personality based on something i said once, you know? it all felt very contrived to me.

but anyway, he also started to get pissed off that i would see my friends but couldnt see him (he lives in a different city...) and about how i could afford to go drink beer with my friends and not drink tea at his place (he also doesnt drink and, again, lives in a different city) and im like... ok first, im not even that into you in comparison, i will always pick my friends over others, i prioritize my money (i am by NO MEANS wealthy omfg) the way i want and on what is proportional to what i get out of the experience. im not going to put out a lot of money on a train ticket to sit at home with you, a guy ive met in public ONCE, when i have all of my biggest friend groups in this city, here, where i live, and we enjoy drinking beer, watching soccer, going to the beach, hanging out in parks, having game nights and hosting and going to parties etc etc. heck yes im going to spend my last money on being with them. and i have told him this, and also that if i had more of a disposable income right now i would obviously be freer to do whatever. ive never been against going to his place to hang out and not having it involve any alcohol, thats all cool, but right now i just cant afford it, and i would prefer to hang out in public some more. but hes not into my scene, so what am i gonna do. and i dont think its strange to think like, i know my last bucks will get me two beers at the cheapest bar, but two beers are still not the price of a (one-way) train ticket. but he just... gets mad about it. in a very childish way. and i keep a very open an honest discussion with him, and most of the time he gets it. hes not dumb or socially awkward, i know hes not, but hes kind of... hard to deal with, i guess is the right word, when there is a personal relationship. in a not so charming way. where he can come off as uncertain, distristful(!) and a bit egocentrical. a classic "ive been hurt by hierarchy for most of my life so now im always on high alert and im going to be as obtuse and snarky as possible so i can feel like i have some sort of control and i WILL take up space and society WILL give me what i feel ive been cheated of my entire life also emotionally im a scared child and really really need validation but im never ever going to admit that". most of the time hes not, but when he started "demanding" to know why i couldnt hang out, or what my expenses were(!!) i immediately got turned off. having to motivate or explain your life and choices to a person youve met once and that you, sure, appreciate, but that you dont really know? no thanks. people not trusting me or my reasons makes me angry, because i put so much value in honesty, so i got angry at him (which is VERY not my character). and he kind of took a step back.

we havent spoken as intensely since then, maybe two weeks ago, and i honestly dont mind except for i like to write and communicate with a lot of people about a lot of stuff to keep myself occupied and he is now one less person to do that with i guess. but now he casually struck up a convo on my snapchat on a post "where i looked hot". i was like heh thanks! and he went on saying "i need to remind myself of how good-looking you are sometimes... kind of stupid actually"

so im like... uhuh... why would you need to remind yourself of that? already finding it a bit cringey

and he says "because i forget about you? xD"

aaaand im rolling my eyes trying not to gag. he is obviously looking for a reaction and im like wtf are we 15

then he fucking says, all philosophical like: "sometimes we need to be reminded why we start talking to/hitting on someone in the first place" and i was just like...... ok stop... what a fucking backhanded compliment. that actually was you telling me that i havent been paying attention to you that much and you want my attention.

god.

again, so turned off by this kind of personality. and i dont mean that only sexually, i mean... i dont think we can be friends, man. youre acting kinda gross. "we" as in, people of the earth, dont need to be reminded of that. that is not a universal truth. this is cringyness, a wounded ego on a high horse.

idk maybe he was trying to be nice or trying to say hes sorry because he was out of line earlier, but i genuinely dont think he thinks so himself, but... ugh. i am not into this. i am not into him. i have been doing my best not to string him along by the way, by being veeeery open about the fact that i sleep with different people, and not just guys, and that i like being single right now and that i have many issues to take care of and heal, so i hope he doesnt feel like ive been doing that to him for some reason.

im just very over this guy. i basically answered him that it sounded more like a backhanded compliment than anything else and that i know ive been bad at ~paying attention~ to him in that way lately, and that im aware of that because im just not interested in paying that kind of attention to anyone at all right now. lets see what his response is. i bet on either a douche guy "lmao ok i was just giving you a compliment chill" or a niceguy/neckbeard "wow youre not better than me". or perhaps hell be an adult about it. i feel like i do have some faith in him still.

but jesus christ the cringe

update: this was a while ago and i dont remember what he answered but it surprisingly wasnt any of the above. we stopped talking for a few months tho and now im in love with a gorgeous person that i recently became exclusive with. this guy is still someone i talk to now and then on snapchat. he semi-regularly drops compliments on my selfies and i guess thats just fine, but his snaps are very very bitter and sometimes i can tell he wants to get my attention. 🤷‍♂️

#what a fuckin #nice guy #right?? #honestly... it hurts me to say but he kind of reminds me of a #neckbeard #not an #incel #although he can come off as bitter at the world but i know hes not delusional #im just... so done #hey! #cuestar

[co27]

Aw, that Sprx + Antauri comic was great! Whether or not you agree w/Sprx or Antauri or both it's just heartbreaking how little time anyone could process what happened in the S2 finale. They just kept having to move on and even when they did have time it probably felt too awkward to bring it up if Antauri wasn't going to. I wish Sprx had said something like this in canon because it feels so IC for how he much he feels for his team. I felt so bad for both of them (hopefully Ant gets his say too).

HI IVE BEEN AT CAMP ALL DAY SO IM ONLY JUST ABLE TO ANSWER THIS!!!

okay uh. this is. a lot longer than i intended it to be but the cut isnt working atm so..... sorry jfmskfkd

RHANK YOU SO MUCUUCH any of my friends can tell u i have a LOT of feelings on sparx/antauri.. like like it or not sparx has a LOT of understandimg/intuition when it comes to his friends, his problem is just that hes never able to confront ppl about things civilly, w sparx its always accusations and anger and stuff. HE HAS A BIG HEART!!!

im rly happy to be exploring his dynamic w the team in my art/writing bc (like i said in the notes of my awesome fic that u should definitely read) his relationships with anyone besides nova is Never talked about in depth!! i feel like if srmthfg was more modern or even got a fmab-style redo it would probably have a lot more room to explore their various relationships and stuff...... but alas. early 2000s plot stuff.

also, a LOT of ppl seem to be wanting like... a sequel comic where they talk and resolve things and im not gonna lie it started as a self-indulgent doodle at midnight that i planned on not showing anyone, so i really cant promise a follow-up with antauris pov....... id LOVE to do it but honestly im not sure how i would go about it without it feeling forced or something. i ADORE antauri but like u said, unless he initiates it a lot of the team is just... unwilling to confront him about things and antauri isnt exactly great at explaining his thoughts lol.

as the sort of resident Big Brother of the team he has SO MUCH faith in the hyperforce to be able to handle things on their own that he doesnt realize his absense feels less like “i trust you all to take care of yourselves while i take care of this” and more like “youre not important enough to be clued in to or included on my escapades”

naturally sparx as the resident hothead with no respect for authority would be the one to let it slip to antauri that he cant just do whatever the fuck he wants and stuff, which is part of why i wrote this comic between them in the first place.. like, sparx is the ONLY team member who would ever doubt antauri, even for a second. he would never actually believe antauri meant to hurt them, but BOY is he hurt anyways.

sparx CLEARLY has a tendency to lash out, and paired with antauris complete and total calmness/detachment, i think it would piss off sparx a lot. however, the ONLY thing i think that could actually hurt antauri is when sparx takes a dig at the power primate/antauris trust in them. antauris hurt because hes realizing he completely let the team down. we dont actually know exactly how long chiro was running around as a monkey, but it was long enough for the remaining team to contact jinmay, repair the robot, and start rebuilding shuggazoom, which could be anywhere from three days to three WEEKS.

and like.... antauri cant exactly DISAGREE with sparx here, either, which is the problem. antauri probably WOULD tell sparx “im sorry i let you down, i have complete trust and faith in you and didnt think i would be gone or even that the skeleton king and worm had survived after i sacrificed myself, i understand your pain and i shouldnt have done it” but.....

sparx wouldnt like that. sparx HATES having this big question mark, this big simmering energy telling him that antauri could ever betray them. sparx loves antauri, he trusts him, he knows he would never hurt them intentionally. but antauri still died on them. and having antauri actually admit to his mistake and to acknowledge all of that hurt would probably be too much for him to handle

so.... i cant say for certain whether ill write a resolution, or whether theres even a resolution to be given. i care about these dumb monkeys a lot but like i said......... self-indulgent comic at midnight. i didnt even plan on it being more than 4 panels so making it a whole entire comic was super unexpected, as well as the positive reception the comic has been given

#asks #anonymous #srmthfg #sparx #antauri #my srmt meta