#sorry this out a little late I hate it :))))

[i-love-def-leppard]

#look at him🫠🥰 #ahh my heart can’t take it #btw sorry for being a bit mia the past few days #my life has been a bit busy lately lol #ugh i hate being an adult😔 #im turning 20 in a little over a month and its freaking me out #def leppard #joe elliott

[greatgaspiads]

Slumber/PJ Party

Babes Week 2023, Day 6

And a little something extra—an alternate timeline if you will—below the cut 😉

#BeetleBabes Week 2023 #Babes Week 2023 #Beetlebabes #Beetlelyds #Musicalbabes #Lydia #Beetlejuice #My Artwork #I'M SORRY THIS WAS LATE I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT #And expect Day 7 to be somewhere far off in the future b/c we got a little ambitious with that and nothing but my best efforts will do #Beetlejuice the Musical #Beetlejuice Musical #Also 100% based his PJs off of #Toonjuice #And you can bet your buttons if this was actual color they would be SO pink #I also swear half of filling this in was just figuring out how to use the beetle pattern I downloaded #Also #Time to see where Tumblr cuts off my tags #They're all relevant you dumb site so KEEP THEM #Nothing relevant is happening at this point but suffice to say I love them being soft with each other #And I also love them absolutely ready to crush the other in their ascension to greatness #And that is all #Those feminine wiles aren't for nothing you know

[peribirb]

now that hrt is like. a Thing That Is Gonna Happen, i'm thinking a lot more about myself and how i present myself, and i'm coming to the realization that i have no goddamn sense of self whatsoever. and that's really starting to hurt in the fashion department, and like. my sense of personal style in general. i've never put thought into my wardrobe, i just have baggy tshirts and blue jeans and a few hoodies and flannels for winter. buying new clothes for me consists entirely of picking up tshirts sporadically when i see one i like and buying everything else when the old ones wear out. and now i'm at a point where i'm realizing, fuck, i actually want to care how i look. i want to understand what i like and build my presentation around that. i don't want to just wear baggy jeans and tshirts, but i've also convinced myself that i can't get away with wearing anything else. partially because i don't know where to start, partially because i've grown up as the kid who's Taller and Larger than average so most of my clothes growing up were more utilitarian than stylish, cus that's what was in my size.

i dunno, this is one of those things where it's. kinda hitting me how much i missed out on. stuff like fashion was never really something i had to encounter cus when you're growing up in Boy Form you can kinda just wear whatever and nobody second guesses you. so it's never something i learned how to work with or appreciate or even understand where to start.

and like, on top of that! i grew up as the tall fat kid, i learned to not put much stock in how i looked for as long as i can remember, and i never actually learned how to start appreciating my body. and like i look in the mirror now and i. just can't imagine making anything out of this. like the proverbial Girl In The Mirror is so fundamentally differently built from me, i don't even know where to begin.

ugh. i'm glad i have an appointment set up and i'm glad i'm gonna do this, i think i would regret it even more if i gave up on hrt and just tried to suppress it for even longer. but it's also dredging up a lot of emotions i thought i had buried pretty well and to be honest that part kinda sucks!

#trans #sorry this is rambly it's late and i'm emotional and also i did the thing where i forget to eat and then eat a ton of shit way too late #so now my stomach hurts AND it's setting off the Body Image Alarms just to make this a little more uncomfortable #ughhhhh ten thousands ways i wish my life had gone differently. that my genetics had been different and my upbringing had been different #that i could be this entirely different person by now and that would somehow magically make transition easier #i know that's not true and i know i'm just beating myself up for no reason but. ugh. #turns out it's really really really hard to unlearn a lifetime of hating yourself for being fat. who knew #vent #delete later

[ihamtmus]

my toxic trait is that i think aziraphale is right about everything always

#i'm sorry crowley but the fandom's got your back please forgive me if i don't #i love crowley btw! i just think aziraphale was right about many things that people hate on him for #and i think i understand aziraphale's point of view better #this is a silly little post btw of course i don't think aziraphale did everything right. but at the same time i do actually #it's very late tho so yeah maybe that's why. or maybe because i relate to him so i GET it. a little #and i don't really get crowley i have to say #i hope they both hug it out pls #good omens #my post

[thueenz]

for real though that post is so true on the love front i think about it all the time like why is everyone so LOVELESS not even just in like cishetero marriages where they hate each other just in general like platonic too. it drives me craaazy when im exposed to it like why are ppl like this !! why dont you love your friends and partner!! its like everything is a social game that theyre playing just for validation and lacking real connection and its a game where theyre always about 2 steps away from being bitter and hateful towards their friends/lover like STOOOOP! im someone who values love and kindness so much and it baffles me. why do you hate your partner! why do you talk about them like theyre an object of validation! why are you dating someone you clearly dislike! why are u so mean to ur friends behind their backs im cryin. why do you up and abandon them the second you get a partner bc you dont value them over the romantic validation you get. ive always been such an affectionate person at heart and i value what my friends say so much and i always find myself feeling so distant from people in relationships because they just feel?? so shallow?? and distant from me. like i think oh this preson gets me but theres ppl who say the same things how they value kindness and love but its always like, immediately clear they are actually a deeply mean person and just enjoy feeling like theyre 'good'. the way society functions with relationships feels so intensely shallow and i cannot connect to it at all. i love my friends and i love people and i always want to understand them and reach out with compassion and be close to them physically and emotionally speaking and talk a lot and listen to them. however im cursed to live in a world of 1 word responses if any at all and shallow relationships where no one gaf about each other and then i get told i talk too much. hello? *tapping mic* hello? is this thing on? be filled with whimsy and love going forward please. anyway does anyone else feel this way or is it just me feel free to talk about it if youd like

#thank god i finally found some friends who are like this too it was so rough before #it sucks tho bc ive been so tired lately its hard for me to live up to this #which i dont hate myself for its valid its just like waaah i wanna have the energy to really put my all in friendships again #for half my life my biggest want and goal in life has been to be someone approachable and who seems kind #even to people with anxiety and i think growing up with anxiety greatly shaped that #i value being kind and compassionate and understanding to such a degree that i spent and still spend time actively working #towards that goal and unlearning being judgemental and bitter #bc i want to be kind so badly and to put kindness in the world... #no but seirously why do people date ppl they dont like #wym you guys arent so unabashedly in love that you practically see hearts thinking of them #wym your entire chest doesnt fill with joy and the simple prospect of them experiencing lifes small joys no matter how little and mundane #to love so wholly that you strive to be a good person not out of guilt or feeling like you are bad but because you desire so deeply to be #good for them and put as much goodness in their life as you can because its what they deserve...💙💙 #ANYWAY LMFAO! im sappy asf as a person sorry everyone but also not sorry #pers

[caffeinatedopossum]

People be like "merry Christmas" meanwhile I'm over here uncovering new depths of my trauma

#yeah so apparently I experienced csa and I'm honestly not processing that super well #i started just telling people about stuff that happened that i never want to talk about #and they were like 'uh yeah thats csa im sorry you went through that' 💀 #like wdym that was csa?? ahhhdjdj ah djdhdgd #in all seriousness though I've gad a lot of very painful realizations about this lately #like the fact that people knew and not only let it happen but actively tried to allow it to continue #and prevent people who actually try to do anything about it from finding out. including me! i was told it was all normal #like 'oh yes this is all normal. but also dont tell anyone this.' #'not because its wrong but because theyll get the wrong idea' #god. i can't comprehend it #i never thought it was sa because ive always been asexual. i couldnt think of any motive so i just didnt know #i didn't have any grasp of what sexuality was in general. i thought it was like a social construct or a game i was sometimes bad at #i still don't understand. i hate how when i think about it all i feel like a little kid again

[kateubanks]

museum

forget sinking ships; i'm the centenarian titan brought to surface only to be lit up, gussied, and gawked at.

slap a coat of paint over the shearing of waves along my side and tell everyone admission covers maintenance.

#forcing myself to write poetry bc all i have written lately is prose #and honestly that might just be the direction i take so #i am sorry if u hate prose lmfao #poetry #writing #writers and poets #literature #writeblr #poets on tumblr #original poem #poem #writers #writerscommunity #writers on tumblr #writersociety #writerblr #writerscreed #writerscorner #smittenbypoetry #also submitted to a little tumblr poetry contest a while back and will find out ab that this weekend i think! #kateubanks

[dootznbootz]

I just wanted you to know you're very wholesome and I admire that, because it's something hard to keep as you grow older. You're like Polites on cotton candy 🍭

Oh, thank you! 🥹 That's incredibly sweet!

I always try my best to look on the bright (yet still understanding) side of things as there always is one! :D There's good in everything! Even in darker aspects of a story/myth!

There's a lot of humanity and kindness in places you wouldn't expect and it honestly feels silly to act like such things aren't possible! :D

#Sorry this is a little late! I've gotten a few asks recently and I'm trying to space them out!!! :D #honestly. I love finding and creating little quirks and characteristics of characters and noticing them irl too #I just don't really see the point in bitterness about stuff. I know I can get fired up and angry myself but to only have bitterness is... #not gonna help in the long run. #There's only so much unwholesomeness in the world before you just get tired you know? :'D #I mean... unlike Epic Polites I DEFINITELY have “mean” moments. I'm not perfect but I always try and see good. #Honestly I relate to Odysseus a lot (technically Penelope too) but with the whole “so much love and hate inside one person” #as I have a lot of love (✿ ♡‿♡) ...but there's a lot of R A G E too (ʘᴗʘ✿) #also trauma O_O I am healing through this idiot. #I mean the reason why I love the Odyssey so much is that to me. It's saying no matter what you've done or what you've been through #you CAN know peace. the “Joy like a sailor” part really cements that to me. #The “sailor” is still covered in brine and he's cold but he can BREATHE again. It's a step in the right direction. #ask #simugeuge #🩵 #Mad rambles

[crybaby-bkg]

my niece wasn’t feeling good today so I picked her up and held her until she fell asleep and everything was all cute and sweet right………………why did she shit in my bed 🧍🏽‍♀️

#I am. so mad. #IT WAS TERRIBLE #at first it was all cute bc she kept snoring and making little noises #then after a while I was like 🤨 sum ain’t smelling right 🤨 #why does she hate me #how do I tag this lmfao #tw: poop #why did that make me laugh QKSJDKDJDJD #anyway sorry I’ve been so mia lately #I’ve been feeling so disconnected being on here for some reason #like I just don’t belong idk #I post and get happy for like five mins then just feel weird again #I think cause I’m finally on break I’ve just been in a weird space with everything #I’ve just been watching tv and movies and literally that’s it lol it sucks but it’s sooo hard #trying to get out of this headspace #I wanna write and read and crotchet and go on walks and write and write and write #but instead I’m laying in bed like a blob fish #it sucks butt #sorry I’m rambling in the tags sjdhdjd I just realized #that I haven’t given an update about my life in a while bc I convinced myself nobody cared #I think it’s just hormones #just give me until like Tuesday lmfao #—in store chit chat! 🍫

[seventh-district]

i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)

#Seven’s Public Diary #vent #vent post #cw vent #cw vent post #cw health #cw heart #i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it #i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help #sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me #he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me #sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree #have i Ever actually relaxed #hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch #anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things #a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal #so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now #and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser #i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever #if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked #all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is #every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse #anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches #‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now #i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC #which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it #i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead #anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t. #it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about #i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father

[tiercel]

Tumblr talking about making its site the same algorithmic slop pile as every other social media bc the users migrating here are too soft brained to curate their own feeds

#You dont understand tumblr is the only site that im able to use bc its not algorithmic slop #I can barely use youtube anymore bc i will get trapped in the vortex of shorts and suggested videos #I like tumblr bc unlike instagram twitter etc it allows you to create your own feed rather than force feeding you random posts #But lately it HAS been doing that & staff just released a statement basically amounting to ''new users are too confused so we're gonna pad #everything out'' corpspeak for ''we need to make the twitter refugees feel more at home by copying their dogshit falling apart site'' #Tbh i actually enjoy tumblr as a much more niche site i think that by making other ppl realize its just a regular ass blogging site theyre #gonna clog it all up more than it already is. Not like it isnt already crammed to the gills with reactionary assholes #Like the reasons i stopped going to twitter was A. stupid bullshit like locking me out 4 no phone number and B. people driving me insane #I do NOT need the people that would trigger my mental illness on a nightly basis coming here to spread their spores #Namely the dramabrained weirdos looking for problems in everything and reactionaries that already exist here but will proliferate #Tumblr ALREADY isnt doing jackshit about t€rves or fash why the fuck would they do anything about a massive influx of them #Sorry i needed to bitch a little. Love this site but also hate the web3.0 philosophy of dumbing everything down #When are we crawling back into the primordial sea we came from (neocities and forums) #emf

[helpimhyperfixating]

if i met you in real life i hope it's at a cosplay convention so i can cosplay your mertaro au

I absolutely don’t remember getting this ask but I saw it again just now and want to burst into tears

You’d want to what?

Me? Mine? R-Really?

I-I- I don’t know why you would want to but thank you so much 😭

Having a rough day so this is really sweet to read 👉👈🥺

❤️💖❤️

#hih answers #my poor little dumb brain must’ve seen the ask - freaked out about it - and then forgot #because I have the attention span of a fuckin pea and the moment I look away I forget there’s a monster in front of me #I hate myself for that #so yes I’m so sorry for answering so late but thank you so much 😭❤️

[lowfivee]

people who are so hateful just because they dont like something is such a funny concept to me . maybe thats just me being crazy because i try my best to never spread hate as i know thats all i want in return . to not be hated for something innocent like voicing ur opinion on something is fine in most situations! doing it to hurt others or just generally be harmful, make someone else do something they dont want to do, or in general be a bad person- like ... be quiet bro dont nobody want to hear it i promise u

#ive seen so much hate lately on dumb stuff #sometimes directed towards me sometimes not #i think everyone on this little planet needs to chill out sometimes #sorry this is kinda venty i guess #long ass few weeks bro

[semercury]

Every time I have an awkward interaction I want to die.

#stuff sarah says #and every time we kiss i swear i could fly #jokes aside i really hate it #like can i not be in agony every time something is a little awkward? #all it was was me saying it was time for me to leave and waiting for an affirmative so i knew it was okay #like its not the end of the world but i feel like i can see it from here #anyway when i was like 13 i started hanging out with the friend group i was with through high school #bc one of the girls (the leader in the way friend groups often have them?) asked me to a sleepover bc she felt sorry for me #and she later like literally told me that #and idk ive been thinking about that a lot lately bc of the music ive been listening to bc im listening to it for the first time #but they all really liked the band back then and were pretty adamant that i wouldnt and idk it made me feel like i didn't belong #which like i guess i didnt in a way? and i never really belonged anywhere #but anyway like. can you really blame me for being afraid of social interaction and always thinking people will hate me #when most of my formative years were spent with people who either wanted to take advantage of me and thats why they liked me #or with people who felt sorry for me. i remember another friend group. this one more in elementary school. likr late. 6th grade. #saying i was like a lost puppy and that comparison still hurts so bad to this day #so just like i dont get what people would ever like about me so i have to act perfect to make up for it bc apparently im pretty undesirable #and this isnt me asking for compliments in fact please dont bc ill feel bad about it #i just like. please understand i am still unlearning a lot of this and some days are easier #and rn im emotional and want to cry or scratch my face off bc i felt awkward at work and i just have to live like this #sorry im weird in friendships. i mostly assume people dont actually want me around #bc the alternative is that they want to hurt me and at least tolerating me out of pity is neutral? #fuck idk

[ghostlyheart]

Happy Valentines Day!! 💝 I hope you spend the day being haunted by someone you love 👻 (or if you're like me, just eating a lot of heart-shaped candy)

Poll:

#I really REALLY wanted to make a little video for valetines day but I ran out of time 🥲 #maybe I'll do something late over the long weekend #for now I offer you my hot takes that absolutely nobody asked for: #the Arondekars- LOVE LOVE THEM. they're everything. just like wwdits‚ the married couple is my favorite ship. idk what this says abt me #Isaac/Nigel- I think they're really sweet!! I don't think I'm as into them as some people but I do like them a lot #the concept alone is so charming and it's a choice that establishes the show a bit from the original that I think works really well #Isaac's awkwardness and hesitancy to move things forward is SO relatable to my experience as a baby lesbian and I find it really endearing #Flower/Thorfinn- I'm not super into them I'm sorry 😭 I don't hate it but I also don't really feel the chemistry #although maybe this week's episode will change my mind!! #Pete/Alberta- oughh I didn't realize how much I loved their dynamic until I thought about it more #their opposites attract kind of thing is really cute‚ with Alberta helping Pete step out of his comfort zone #and alberta knowing she deserves someone a bit more stable who will treat her better than she was in life (she already knew this but still) #it's a shame bc they're probably the couple with the least chance of getting together 😭 #Sasappis/Shiki- unfortunately there's not much they can really do :') however sass' shiki tree was adorable. what a dork #Sass/Jessica- cute while they lasted!! they weren't able to spend a ton of time on their relationship but it brought out a different side #of Sass that was fun to watch #Hetty/Trevor- absolutely hilarious. I never knew I needed it. I don't ship them in a capital r Romantic way but their chemistry is great #I'd rather see it stay just a fling tbh. also when the other ghosts find out it's going to be SO juicy I can't wait #last one- I really don't want to see the entire house coupled off. The ships are fun but also the friendships between the ghosts and how #they function as a group is the real heart of the show for me I don't want that to get lost. I don't think it's impossible to balance both #so it's ultimately just a personal preference 🤷‍♀️ #wow I didn't realize i had so much to say about this aksjsk #anyway. my prediction for this poll is a close race between isaac/nigel and h-money #cbs ghosts

[born-to-lose]

In my depressed era again <3

#for literally no reason ugh i hate it i hate it i hate it #probably a bad mix of overthinking and lovesickness again but what's new #i figured out why i like to do stuff until late at night until i fall asleep lol it's because i don't wanna be left alone with my thoughts #i guess that's why i could go such a long time without you know what... i always had lots of schoolwork to do and didn't have much time to- #-think about this kind of shit and once i don't have anything to do anymore i found myself in bed with a bleeding arm lmao #also let's call this my 'everyone i know hates me and my best friends despise me the most' era #still gonna stay up two more hours because i'm like a damn puppy who waits excitedly for their favorite person to come home from work #at this point i should maybe write all this shit in a diary but like. you know how my rambling posts start so y'all can just ignore #tldr i'm feeling like shit and i can't promise that i won't do something stupid again #i'm just too hung up on things that happened weeks ago but like what if it isn't actually ok now #also i know i'm too clingy and possessive with people i'm really close to but it's just my abandonment issues :( #and i know i fucked things up with other people (friendships and relationships) way too many times so i'm putting all i have into this one #still i feel like it's too much and too little at the same time idk i just Know when i really like someone and then i don't wanna lose them #but at the same time i often drive them away with my excessive love and attention because certain people are like some addiction to me #ok no that's too much already for now sorry #anyways i'm sobbing and shaking and feeling terrible and guilty #oh and unrelated but i nearly got run over by a car today 👍🏻 fucking hate drunk small town students in a mcd's parking lot #mel talks #tw self harm