#srry i’ve been down bad recently

[achilleslyre]

shuffle ur “on repeat” playlist

tagged by @szczek :p heheeee thank u

1. doom — juice wrld

2. let me down slowly — alec benjamin

3. come up for air — skylar grey

4. apocalypse — cigarettes after sex

5. sparks — coldplay

6. maze — juice wrld

7. looking out for you — joy again

8. already dead — juice wrld

9. oblivion — bastille

10. voyage to atlantis — the isley brothers

tags @grailskull @wizardlair @kyghostly

#THESE R ALL LITERALLY JUST FROM MY ITACHI PLAYLIST AND MY SNS PLAYLIST 😭😭 #srry i’ve been down bad recently #so much juice….. thank itachi for that akhskshsk #ok i think those were all the ones i got tagged in while busy #if i didnt do one u tagged me in tho i’m sorry #lol #jitter bugs u

[nexysworld]

Can you do a fem reader x leon where fem reader told leon for every infected/enemy he Kills she will Kiss him and for every boss he kills she will she sleep with him

Leon took that offer and he pretty much did his part of the deal 😉 and he gets his prize at the end

LOVE this idea - not sure if this is exactly what you meant but I ran with it literally. 💜

Read on AO3 🖤 Requests are Open 🖤 Masterlist ~ High Score ~ Pairing: Fem!Reader x Leon Kennedy Tags: NSFW, Smut, Blowjobs, Unprotected sex, Fem!Receiving Oral, Mild manipulation, overstimulation, use of cuffs, Switch!Leon, no use of Y/N, not really proof read srry. Wordcount: 2.5k

Leon had been badgering you for attention ever since he got back from his most recent work excursion. Unfortunately for your boyfriend, this weekend just happened to be the release of the remake of one of your favorite childhood video games: Zombie Slayer 4. You dropped hundreds of dollars on the special release and even camped outside the local game store to get it, nothing and no one, was going to pry you away from it.

“You’ve been playing for hours. Don’t you think it’s time to give it a break? We can go out to dinner or something.” “No Lee, I’m only a quarter of the way through.” “How!? You’ve been playing for like 20 hours straight!” “Because I am taking my time and ensuring I collect all the treasure.” “What the hell do zombies need treasure for?” “The Zombies don’t need the treasure, I do, to sell so I can buy better weapons.” You heard him groan in response. Leon wasn’t big on video games, especially not horror ones - says they reminded him too much of work. You could understand, while you weren’t a field agent, you did file their reports and were privy to mission details. “Come on babe, please? I missed you.” Leon had slunk to the floor behind you, wrapping his arms under yours, and folding his hands together over your chest. You could feel his boner pressing into you through his pajama pants. “Are you serious right now?” “I really missed you.” He emphasized as he wiggled his hips against you. “Leon. I’ve been waiting for this remake for like 7 years now. You’ll live by occupying yourself for one weekend.” You crooked your neck to face him and nearly died. He was giving you his absolute best kicked-puppy look, those endlessly blue eyes just radiated need and sadness. “Oh come on, don’t give me that face.”

In response he amped it up further, even jutting his bottom lip out in a pout. Damn him and his stupidly handsome features. As close as your wall came to crumbling down, it wasn’t entirely ready to fall yet - an idea popped into your head. “Fine Leon, how about a deal then? If you want my attention so bad, play a level on Hardcore mode, for every zombie you kill, I’ll give you a kiss. If you kill a boss, I’ll relieve that tension in your pants. Hmm?” “What if I kill more than one boss?” “For every boss you kill, that’s one round under the sheets.” “And if I beat your score?” “Pretty confident in yourself for someone who doesn’t like games.” “Humor me.” “Fine, if you beat my score, I’ll even go out to dinner with you and spend the rest of the night cuddling.” “Deal!” He shouted with no hesitation, yanking the controller from your hand. “Killing monsters in a game isn’t the same as real life, Mr. Sharp Shooter.” A smug smile adorned your features. You’d only made the deal knowing that Leon didn’t play video games, assuming he’d crash and burn. A great miscalculation. 

He was a beast, mowing down enemies left and right, even making swift work of both bosses without taking any damage. Your jaw dropped as the high-score music played, a rave of colors blasting from the TV. He’d not only beat your score but hit the max points possible. “You were saying?” “What the hell…how did you do that? I thought you….I can’t believe that.” “I told you I didn’t like video games, not that I wasn’t good at them.” He set the controller down before leaning back into you, resting his chin on your shoulder. “So then, how about my prize, Sweetheart? Looks like you’re in debt about 1000 kisses and two rounds below the belt.” 

“Ok fine. A deal’s a deal.” 

Leon removed himself from you so he could sit back on the couch, hands tucked behind his head for comfort. His deliciously plush lips were turned up into a smile. “Well baby, get to it.” 

Pushing yourself off the ground you made your way over to him, leaning down to start pressing kisses to the corner of his mouth, trailing a line along his jaw. He tilted his head for you to have better access to his neck as you worked your way down.

Normally he was the one covering you in a map of purple and red, but you were in quite a bit of debt and couldn’t afford to leave any of him untouched and unmarked. By the time you’d reached his pecs he was already trying to buck up into you for some friction, but you remained in a position where only your mouth was on him, your arms steadying yourself. “Baby, I need you so bad.” At least your plan to tease him was working, with him already pleading for you. “And you have me Lee. I owe you a lot of kisses, so you need to be patient.” You continued lower, nipping at the skin of his stomach, dragging your tongue down across his abs and past his naval before kissing back up the trail of saliva. There was something about the way his muscles felt contracting under your touch that drove you wild. 

You didn’t even need to look down to know there was a growing wet spot forming on his gray pajama pants. Making your way back down you gave slow nips along the skin just above the hem of his pants before digging your fingers into the waistband, pulling them down just enough to free his erection. You placed small kisses all over the head and down the shaft making him whimper more. “Baby don’t tease…” “Not teasing - should’ve thought this through before killing so many enemies.” You gave him a sly smile. As much as you wanted to continue though, even your own willpower was waning with him right in front of your face like this.

Bringing a hand up you gave him a few slow pumps, watching as precum oozed from the tip and ran down, catching it with your tongue. You licked up the underside before finally taking the head into your mouth sucking as you bobbed your head shallowly. 

A relieved moan escaped his lips as he jerked his hips forward, causing his tip to hit the back of your throat gagging you slightly. “Mm sorry, feels so good, just can’t help it.” His hand found its way to your hair holding you in place for a moment as drool dripped down the corners of your mouth. “You always look so pretty like this.” You took in a big gulp of air when he let you pop off, before guiding you back down, balls slapping resting against your chin, while you relaxed your throat taking him deeper and deeper. He let go of your hair allowing you to move freely, burying your nose in the wiry hair of his pelvis each time you swallowed him down. 

He was close, you could tell by the way it throbbed in your mouth and the heady noises he no longer bothered to attempt to contain. It was rare you got the needy submissive version of Leon and you loved it. You’d stay between his legs for eternity if it meant hearing him like this, seeing his eyes closed tight, tongue almost hanging out.

It was euphoric seeing such a tough strong guy become a melted mess because of you. 

Adding your hands to to the mix, you massaged his balls with your left hand, right coming up to help jerk the base of his cock focusing your mouth on pleasuring the tip, sucking and lapping at the slit with your tongue. “Oh god that feels so good. Baby I’m gonna –” 

You didn’t let him finish his sentence speeding up your movements. Within a moment hot cum was sliding down your throat with each twitch of his cock. Just for fun, you removed your hand, taking him to the base again overstimulating him as he writhed beneath you. “Ah, ah, ah, c-can’t, too sensitive….ah..” Despite his pleas he made no move to remove you or say the safeword, so you kept going a little longer before sliding off with a pop. You continued to give slow agonizing pumps as you peppered more kisses to the tip, milking whatever cum was left. 

“Think you’re real cute doing all that, huh?” His cheeks were beautifully flushed from the intensity and overstimulation of his orgasm. “No clue what you’re talking about - just playing by the rules of the agreement.” 

You knew you were in for it now that he’d caught his breath. Quickly he’d removed his pants the rest of the way before your own clothes were being torn off. 

His lips caught yours in a passionate kiss as his hands wandered, palming one breasts and running his thumb over the nippple of your other. Walking you backwards towards the bedroom, he barely gave you the chance to breathe before he was back to sucking on your lips and shoving his tongue down your throat. 

Unceremoniously you were tossed onto the bed, wrists being bound to the metal headboard by the fuzzy cuffs that were left there for special occasions. “The cuffs, really?” “Can’t trust your bratty little hands after what you did.” 

Leon kept your legs pinned open with his knees as he worked your breasts, sucking on your nipples and kneading them. The sensation made you want to squirm, already having been turned on from blowing him, slick had already been pooling down your thighs. Your clit was throbbing and in desperate need of attention, but you were unable to move or do anything to get relief. “Aww poor baby, want something?” “Mhm.” “Too bad, should’ve thought about that before all your teasing.” Leon mimicked your previous motions, sucking and kissing up and down your body, doing any and everything but touching you where you so desperately needed. You felt your pussy desperately trying to clamp around nothing, clit aching with an arousal so deep it made your whole body feel hot. 

You wiggled, cuffs jingling against the bed, trying to get him to hurry up. “Please Lee, ‘m so sorry.” “Is that so? I don’t believe you.” He gave a suck to skin above your hip bone. Not bothering to truly speed up he continued to kiss down your pelvis, just above where you want him most, before he skipped that spot entirely to suck on your thighs. “You’re so fucking wet even without being touched. Do you like sucking me off that bad, or are you just so needy that it only takes some kissing to get you going?”

“Both. Both. Both.” You chanted trying to buck your hips up for more stimulation, again halted by his arms holding you in place. “So bratty before, now you wanna act like a greedy baby?” He chuckled but finally obliged leaning forward and giving a suck to your clit before circling it with the tip of his tongue. The sensation radiated pleasureful tingles from your core outwards, nearly overwhelmed by it. “Thank you. God thank you.” You prayed. He was being nice now, even letting you rut against his face to relieve yourself. His nose rubbed deliciously against your sensitive bud while his tongue slid in and out of you with each rapid movement of your hips. It should’ve been a red flag, he was never this nice when the cuffs came out – but you were far to lost in pleasure to think or care. Heat was building up in your core and you were so close. You wanted to grab his hair, or at least find purchase for your hand somewhere, but the cuffs kept them hanging above you. He brought his mouth back to your clit sucking on it a few more times, leaving you screaming his name as you flung your head back. Your legs shook and toes trembled as the heat in your core snapped and rushed out of you. Before you’d even got the chance to bask in the aftershocks of your first orgasm, he kept going sucking and lapping at your clit. Pupils blown you were breathless, your legs trembled as you let out the most pathetically feral noise, a mix of a pleading whine and a moan as he continued working your now far too overstimulated clit. “Too much.” You managed to get out. “You can do it for me baby, one more.” He cooed before resuming his sloppy attack between your shaking thighs. This time around he added two fingers into your sopping whole, giving your walls something to cling to, working them in and out. 

You were a sputtering mess, not able to do anything besides accept the overwhelming pleasure. Tears ran down your face when your second orgasm was ripped from you, causing you to kick and buck wildly. 

Leon pulled away, wiping the wetness from his chin. “You always look the most beautiful right after I ruin you baby.” He leaned forward pressing soft kisses to your forehead and then cheeks, giving you time to relax and come down from your spot on cloud 9. “You ok baby, still with me?” You nodded, brain slowly allowing you to come back to the moment. He unhooked the cuffs from the bed allowing your arms to fall to your side. “You want to stop? We don’t have to keep going.” “‘M fine.” “You sure?” “Yeah, still want you to fuck me. Please? Wanna be good and finish your prize” “Can’t say no to that.” He leaned forward and kissed you soft and slowly, far more romantic than his earlier actions. He slid the head of himself up and down your slit gathering the slick there before slowly pushing himself into your hole, burying himself to the hilt. It felt so good to finally be stretched out around him. Keening you arched your back again and he took the opportunity to wrap an arm under you, keeping you close while he fucked you at a steady pace, ensuring you felt every movement. 

His name left your mouth each time his tip kissed your cervix, legs bouncing on his shoulders as he leaned into the mating press more so he could kiss you again. “You’re so perfect. So perfect. I love you so much.” He buried his face in your neck, and you wound your arms around him, enjoying the intimate closeness, feeling your third orgasm so close. Leon adjusted and propped himself up with his arms so he could speed up, pistoning his hips against yours. “Gonna cum again.” “Me too Sweetheart, cum with me, alright?” You nodded slinking your hand down between your melded bodies gently rubbing at your clit. The second the walls of your pussy clamped down around him with your own orgasm, his second one crashed down around him – more hot ropes of cum splatted your insides. Once soft again, he pulled collapsing next to you. With heavy limbs you managed to flop over him, resting your head on his chest, arm splayed over his abdomen. The moments of silence that followed were blissful – until he spoke again. “So…what are you feeling for dinner?” “Are you still serious about that? God, what does it take to tire you out.” You couldn’t help but laugh. “Fine, let’s go to that Hibachi place on main street.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He rubbed small circles into your back while he allowed you to recover, game now completely forgotten.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon scott kennedy #resident evil #resident evil fanfiction #resident evil 4 #resident evil 4 remake #re4r #re4r leon #x reader #fanfiction #reader insert #female reader #fem!reader

[guccifloralsuits]

.

#answering asks later today!!!!! srry I’ve been v bad @ em #but ILY + love getting em!!!!! sorry I’ve just haven’t been able to sit down/go through them recently

[jayflrt]

hey alice(can i call you that?) i got to know about the plagiarism situation you faced from sei and im so sad to know that you were lied to and gslit. it was terrible of [beep] to do that to someone, and it's even more disappointing because she doesn't seem to be genuine. the new users on enha tumblr have been turning out to be super untrustworthy. and it's very upsetting to see that people think it's okay to steal from here cause the content is all put out for free and the fact that they "feel bad" only after being caught after constant accusations. personally i have also faced plagiarism and have even caught someone plagiarizing other people and honestly it feels really awful. i can immediately see how these people are not actually always genuinely apologetic rather it's a situation of "oh fk sht i've been caught it's time to hop on to a new blog and a new name" sometimes i feel insecure putting out my works wondering if there's anyone whose using my hard work as their own it's sickening to think they probably have no shame in claiming it as their own and gaining innocent people's trust. idk how many people i trust/follow/look up to or know have scummed to ways of plagiarism but i really hope if they have they stop doing it. and i hope you don't have to come across something like this again. it's less likely though considering the increasing number of incidents coming to light recently. i feel like those who have got caught and deactivated probably could have already made another new blog with a new identity and we don't even know if they on here looking through our blogs, interacting and trying to get moots again. this might be not entirely true but i feel like one among the many reasons could be the average age of our fandom. there are more of minors on here than adults, and that too minors on the younger side as well. it's difficult for some teens to figure out what's not right, one of which is posting someone else's work after modifying it. which is essentially plagiarism but certain minds think of it as not just because they modified it. this is not an excuse or justification but rather im just stating why it could be so casual here. some network admins as well even though putting plagiarism will not be accepted in the rules still keep the guilty ones in the network. i just hope the people who plagiarize and don't feel guilty, someday learn from it. (THAT WAS SUCH A LONG RANT IM SO SRRY I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF😵) hope you're doing okay <33

hihi !! yeonie, right ?? :o i think i’ve seen your jay fic around !! 🤩 and yes ofc you can call me alice 🥰💕 (omfg i thought you meant sei plagiarized and i was about to be like NONONONO) but ahh yes it’s super disappointing :(( this site should just be for supporting each other and creating content that we like. i wish it wouldn’t have to turn into a chore for people to constantly grind out fics, and i feel like that’s another way people start getting into the habit of copying other authors works :/ but i agree, it’s hard to trust because of it but i hope it stops !! 🤧

and i’m so sorry that you’ve experienced that love, no one deserves that :(( did you manage to get them to take it down?? i remember there used to be a wave of people from wattpad plagiarizing several authors from tumblr and putting all of them in a oneshot book <//3 it’s absolutely horrible and i don’t understand why people are so adamant on taking people’s own creative work like that ,, like the amount of thought and dedication that writers pour into their fics just for someone to copy paste 😔

and you’re so right 😭😭 i already know there are instances of people who start anew after getting exposed for plagiarism and it’s kinda scary to think about them doing it again :// i hope recent events set an example and help people realize they really shouldn’t be doing this, but i guess we’ll see with time :’)

that’s true as well !! this fandom specifically has a younger audience so i think it’s more prevalent here(??) and yeahh i hope it’s reinforced that paraphrasing and stealing of ideas counts just as much :(( taking an author’s intellectual property is just wrong and disrespectful. i don’t know much about network admins but the few that i’ve talked to have been really sweet and good about keeping people in line. the ones you’re referring to who let plagiarists slide ,, i do hope they take a stand and stop tolerating such behavior 😞 and i hope they learn from their mistakes too ! at some point ppl have to realize how childish it is to steal work <//3 AHAHHA DW AB THE LENGTH I ENJOYED THE READ >:) and i’m doing p good !! just have a lot due for tomorrow HAHAH hbu ?? :o i hope you’re doing alright as well ! and have a great day/night love 🌷💗

#💌 : jayflrt love notes #wonvelvet

[lasignoramain]

Aere Perennius

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warning: No Warnings Apply

Pairing: Beidou/Ningguang

Characters: Ningguang, Beidou, Keqing

Additional Tags: Mentioned Ganyu, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, One Shot, Romance, Soft Ningguang, at least towards children, beidou’s a smug little shit, as she should be, kind of sexual implications at the end, it’s more saucy than sexual, just a little spice, this could’ve been slowburn but i don’t have the energy for that srry, Not Beta Read, we die like timmie’s birds, kind of a character study of ningguang, bcus she owns my ass

Summary: Never has Beidou ever said Ningguang's name in all their time they've known each other. Not that it mattered to Ningguang— the pirate's choice to refrain from ever referring to Ningguang with her name was perfectly fine to her. After all, even if Beidou was her soulmate, nothing about their relationship would change. What is between her and Beidou is purely business.

Unless Ningguang lets Beidou past all of the walls she's built around her heart, but it's not like that could ever happen, right?

... Right?

Word Count: 2434

Read under the bar, or on AO3! Feedback always appreciated!

Liyue, the city of contracts. A beautiful place full of merchants selling their wares, children playing near the harbor, the sound of a storyteller weaving his own world as he speaks, captivating his audience. The Millileth standing valiantly at their posts— some of them, at least. Liyue is so peaceful that many of the military forces stationed around the city dare to slack off.

If they shirk their duties for too long, however, another guard might whisper to them as a warning, "Be careful, the Tianquan might be watching you! Who knows what she might do if she sees the Millileth not taking their duties seriously?!"

That gets them to straighten quickly. Ningguang always chuckles when they don't notice her playing with a few children in Liyue's harbor, promising them sweet treats in return for any rumors they've heard recently. The sight of the Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing gleefully entertaining the children of her city always brings a smile to the older generation's lips, and Ningguang benefits in more ways than one.

She learns of every secret there is from her eyes and ears, and also further earns the trust of the people of Liyue.

Hearing some of the youngest children refer to her as "jiejie Ningguang" is heartwarming, as well. Not that she'll ever admit that to anyone, no matter if they're in her inner circle or otherwise. That's something only Ningguang will ever know, and she will take it to her grave, lest someone tries to use it as blackmail against her.

At that, a certain smug captain comes to mind.

"Jiejie," Beidou had teased Ningguang under her breath once, while they were deep into a game of Liyue Millennial. It'd taken the Tianquan by surprise, though she quickly regained her composure, smoothly gaining yet another victory against the Captain of the Crux. "Damn, I really thought that tactic would work in my favor. You're truly unperturbed by everything, eh, jiejie?"

"I am interested in your ability to read people so easily, Captain. Such a skill would be of use to me," Ningguang deflected with ease, though her eye did twitch at Beidou referring to her as jiejie yet again.

Which Beidou noticed, of course. Thereafter, whenever they were in the Jade Chamber, Beidou would refer to her as "jiejie of Liyue's Qixing."

(The first time Ganyu heard Beidou call Ningguang jiejie, she looked as if all of the blood had drained from her body, and she would faint on the spot.)

(When Keqing was present for one of their meetings, the speed at which the tip of her blade was pointed at Beidou's throat was impressive.)

Never has Beidou ever said Ningguang's name in all their time they've known each other. Not that it matters to Ningguang— the pirate's choice to refrain from ever referring to Ningguang with her name is perfectly fine to her. After all, even if Beidou is her soulmate, nothing about their relationship would change. What is between her and Beidou is purely business.

They barely get along, too— Beidou's blatant disregard for the rules that Ningguang has so painstakingly put into place for the well-being of Liyue's citizens always rubs the Tianquan the wrong way. She's learned that nothing will persuade Beidou to act in Ningguang's best interest in that regard, however, so she's adapted in order to keep their relationship— and its transactions— as stable as possible.

Whenever Beidou has something to report, she comes to the Jade Chamber, raring and ready to go for yet another game of Liyue Millennial against Ningguang. She also brings a hefty sum of Mora for the fines that need paid for— even though she brings Ningguang worthwhile information, the Tianquan isn't about to play favorites and reduce the cost of Beidou's rule-breaking streak.

So they converse in the colorless rooms of the Jade Chamber, names never uttered.

"I don't think I've ever seen you smile before, jiejie," Beidou jabbed another time as she placed a few cards down on the Liyue Millennial board and took two to replace them, "except for when you're surrounded by the little ones by the harbor."

Ningguang hummed, watching Beidou's every move with an analytical gaze. "I've surely smiled once or twice while you've been in my presence—"

"I meant a genuine smile, jiejie. Not those ones you've practiced for diplomats and business partners," Beidou interrupted, clicking her tongue when she gets a bad die roll. "Those smiles never reach your eyes. They don't soften like they do when one of those rascals tugs on your qipao and asks you, 'how was work, jiejie?'" She increased the pitch of her voice while moving her pieces on the board. "I swear, they're your only soft spot. Everywhere else, your aura is completely different."

With one brow raised, Ningguang leaned forward. "And what is my aura everywhere else, exactly?"

Lips pursed in thought, Beidou grabbed another die and rolled it. "You still hold that same elegance when you're at the harbor, but it's... colder. You're careful, calculating— just like you are right now. Though," Beidou grinned, "I'm starting to think I'm getting through to you. Sometimes, a few seconds after I call you jiejie, your eyes soften and your lips quirk just a little bit, like you're thinking about those kids. When I get you to smile for real, I'll call that a win."

Beidou lost that game of Liyue Millennial as well, and she'd gifted Ningguang an antique vase— "Someone else in the crew said it was aquamarine, and I remember you mentioning that the rest of your vases are supposed to be blue. Thought this one of a kind antique would fit in nicely with the rest of your things." While she'd scoffed at the time, Ningguang keeps the vase on a bookshelf in her main office. Whenever Beidou visits for their meetings, she looks at it and smiles. Something in that reaction warms something in Ningguang, as well.

During her next visit to Liyue Harbor, she'd realized that Beidou was right— the children who refer to her as their big sister might catch a genuine quirk of her lips, or even a giggle at their silly antics. The way their eyes sparkle like the stars when they manage to bring Ningguang the smallest ounce of joy...

If only they knew how warm Ningguang feels inside to see how happy they are to see her. When they get upset after she doesn't visit for too long for their tastes, the puff of their cheeks while they pout, "Where have you been, jiejie Ningguang," while the youngest ones wrap around Ningguang's legs.

"I'm not letting go!" As if she must take them to the Jade Chamber with her, so that she'll never be away from them for too long ever again. It's a part of her schedule to visit the children by the harbor, but the occasional addition to her calendar impedes on her time to spend her hard-earned Mora on the kids she adores so much.

She's informed her circle that meeting with the children takes a higher priority than they'd think— after all, her little ducklings keep Ningguang at the top of everything that occurs in Liyue. Without them, she wouldn't be half as successful as she is today.

 "You have a soft spot for those little rascals at the harbor, don't you, jiejie?"

 "Who wouldn't? Their innocence is quite charming. I give them sweets, and they—"

 "Oh, bull. Don't use the transactional benefits as an excuse; you love those kids, and they love you. That's why they don't want to let you go. To them, you're family."

Family.

Hm.

Ningguang had brushed the comment off, deflecting by asking Beidou to continue her report for that meeting, but she could feel her cheeks warm at the thought of every child that's clung to her, every little sibling who grins up at her while their arms are wrapped around her waist. Holding her in a tight embrace, hoping that, this time, their jiejie stays for good this time.

Ah, Beidou. Putting these sort of thoughts into Ningguang's mind— what a terrible woman.

But the ache in Ningguang's heart for those children who love her so may be even worse than the seeds sowed by Captain Beidou, whose right eye glows with more wisdom and mirth than she lets on, even in Ningguang's grayscale world.

Month's into their partnership— where they've learned to tolerate each other, poke fun at each other— curiosity claws at Ningguang's mind. A woman like Beidou must have met her soulmate by now, in all of her travels—

"I haven't."

Ningguang raises a brow, tilting her head slightly to the side. "Truly? That comes as a surprise, to me. You've gone to almost every corner of Teyvat, yet not a single flash of color from any man or woman uttering your name?"

Beidou shakes her head with an amused smile. She leans forward, rolling one of the many die involved in Liyue Millennium, before moving onto the next. "Perhaps my soulmate is a stubborn one. Someone who would rather have their name spoken first before their own."

At that, a puff of laughter escapes from Ningguang's lips. "Is that so? A shame, then— I presume your soulmate's beauty would be quite breathtaking with the colors that the people of Liyue have described to me for years," she replies, watching as Beidou moves one piece upon another, rough, calloused hands making sure not to jostle the board. "Still, wouldn't you be considered stubborn as well?"

A wicked grin graces Beidou's lips as she looks up at Ningguang. "Of course. Don't you know that pirates are the most stubborn folk out there, jiejie?"

Suppressing the need to roll her eyes, Ningguang leans forward to start her turn when Beidou leans back. "I suppose I'm starting to learn, thanks to certain company," she murmurs, glancing up at Beidou while two die roll.

"You're welcome, then," the captain responds, bowing gracefully just as Ningguang's dice land.

High numbers. Not optimal, but she'll be able to bounce back if her next roll is low.

When it isn't, Beidou whistles. "Uh oh. Things aren't looking to good for you this time around. Would be a shame if I finally won this game of yours," she chuckles, carefully watching Ningguang for any signs of irritation.

"It certainly would be a shame; though, don't put all your eggs in one basket," Ningguang replies coolly, continuing her turn while strategizing how she would bounce back and claim victory once more.

But it wouldn't be fun if you're the only one who wins, a voice in the back of Ningguang's head whispers. What would happen if you let Beidou win? She's certainly improved at Liyue Millennium compared to the first time you asked her to play against you. Make it look effortless, planned by the Archons that you were meant to lose today.

Tempting. Perhaps, in the shock of her victory, Beidou would finally say Ningguang's name—

 As if.

Still, as the game continues, Ningguang's turns seem bent on keeping her in the clutches of misfortune. Beidou's barely ahead of Ningguang, however, since the Tianquan never lets something as silly as "bad luck" hold her back. Even if she's meant to lose, Ningguang will still put up a fight.

It's a close game full of tension, and the sharp jabs at each other eventually dwindle, as both participants hone all their focus into strategizing, grasping victory at the last turn—

"AH! I—"

She won.

Beidou jumps up from her seat with a whoop, hollering and cheering. Ningguang's stupefied, analyzing the entire game in her head to figure out just where it all went wrong.

"How about that?! I won against the Tianquan! Honestly, Ningguang—"

 See?

Ningguang guessed that Beidou's hair was dark brown, but nothing could've prepared her for the color of her eye. A deep ruby that almost seemed like it was sparkling in Beidou's current glee, her gold earring jingling as she pumps her fist in the air. The red of her eye was tied in with the rest of her outfit— red eyepatch, red qipao dress with gold and black accents. Even the claymore leaning on the wall matched her outfit—

"—I really thought you made this game impossible to win against you—"

Scanning the rest of her office, Ningguang notes that everything was as she requested to a T, the cedar wood, and the vase from Beidou is an aquamarine color with an iridescent shine. The screens behind Ningguang's desk are painted with emerald and gold—

"Ningguang?"

Right.

"My felicitations," Ningguang stands from her chair, walking around the large table to stand in front of Beidou. "It seems it wasn't in the cards for me to gain yet another victory against you," she leans in, a smile on her lips as she whispers, "Beidou."

She watches as Beidou's eyes widen, pupils shrinking at the sudden change from black and white to an explosion of color; though, the only thing she sees at first is Ningguang. Her gazes flickers from Ningguang's eyes to her hair to her lips— that gets a laugh from the Tianquan— before Beidou closes the space between them, stopping just before their lips touch.

"Can I...?"

The realization of it all hits Ningguang like a wave yet again, and the pieces all start to click together. There was no need for her to continue amusing Beidou with games of Liyue Millennial, to speak of trivial matters, casual talk when what they were supposed to have should've been simply business. Something transactional— Mora passing from one hand, while information passes from another.

Yet, just as Ningguang had with the children at the harbor, she'd softened. While Beidou is one to disregard the rules, never would she stab the Tianquan behind the back, not when the people hold them both in high regards.

Still, Ningguang smirks, lifting her hand to cover Beidou's mouth with two fingers. "Careful, Captain Beidou. Don't let one small victory get to your head. Perhaps the next time you manage to win against me."

Ningguang is glad that she refrained from wearing her gloves, as she watches— feels— Beidou's tongue press and push her fingers apart, grinning like the cat that got the canary. Her face warms too quickly for Ningguang to suppress the embarrassment and compose herself.

"I'd count that," Beidou starts as she pulls away from Ningguang's hand, "as a victory."

When Keqing passes Ningguang's office silently and sees the Tianquan and the Captain of the Crux embracing each other tightly, she rolls her eyes before walking past.

 "Finally."

#genshin impact #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin impact fanfic #genshin fanfic #genshin impact beidou #genshin beidou #beidou #captain beidou #genshin impact ningguang #genshin ningguang #ningguang

[twilight-deviant]

2 & 16

* Srry it was 12 not 16 lol

2) what is your favorite “problematic” polyship (ot3, ot4, so on)?

I have like my Top 3 OT3s and I don’t know if I can choose between them. 😆

Fisk/Vanessa/Matt from Daredevil

Nick/Adalind/Sean from Grimm (raising these kids together!)

Rumplestiltskin/Belle/Hook from OUAT 

A friend only recently brought the last one to my attention, but tbh, it’s hijacked my brain. lol

12) have you ever had to leave a fandom because of all the antis in it?

Yep.

Antis from Timeless fandom are the most toxic and horrible people it has ever been my misfortune to come across. (The good part of the fandom is good and I am still friends with many of them. ♥) I want to say... I believe... in all other fandoms I've been in, a difference of ship or moral opinion resulted in people going to their own corners and staying there. Antis in Timeless fandom, however:

harassed

stalked (particularly obsessed with me for some reason)

went around blocks to continue stalking

created alt accounts to continue harassing/stalking

doxxed people

tried to get someone fired from their job

created an account to publicly shame people

constantly attempted to vilify the "bad ship" and "bad shippers" in the eyes of TPTB

tried to have a CHARITY by the “problematic shippers” taken down

And so many more things. So many. 😐 Honestly, I could rant for hours about those dark days. It was one of the worst years of my (already not exactly blissful) life. And when fans being harassed asked for TPTB to call out the toxic behavior and say it had no place in the fandom, well... nothing. Because the showrunner by that point was big time gross about their ship right along with them. 🤮 (I’ve made my peace with it because going all in with their ship ruined the show and got it cancelled. lolol 🙃)

I stuck it out as long as I could because I'm stubborn and I knew they only wanted to make all "problematic shippers" leave the fandom so they could continue manipulating the direction of canon with a "singular fandom mind." However, an already anxious mind can only take so much. Soooooooooo yep, left the fandom and now have it blacklisted. Content from Timeless is like a lowkey trigger to me, if I'm being honest. Sad thing is it used to be my favorite show. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

AND THE “PROBLEMATIC SHIP” ISN’T EVEN THAT BAD! (I could also rant about all the ways the “good ship” is way worse with its correlations to real life abusive relationships. But I won’t.)

#Ask #Anonymous #Why was my first thought upon not seeing 16 #''Anon is from an alternate universe where 16 exists'' D: #and not ''Anon has made a typo'' #Don't ask me about toxic fandoms unless you want a rant from one of the worst lol #I like how Nick/Adalind/Sean feels like an unproblematic ship #but I'm only thinking of the Now and not the messy road leading up to Now #Yeah... it... yeah no #XDDD #Are they great parents with two kids they love? Yes. #Did those kids come into the world in the best way? .............................no #lol

[imtrynnawriteshit]

Jacob Frye x Female!Reader (2! Looks like I’m actually going through with this! Hooray!)

Oh wow it’s been uh a while

This is v conversation heavy? Is that how you describe things??

Well, it is now hehehe

Something I forgot to mention the last time: the slang that I’m using is not entirely period appropriate? I mean, it somewhat is, but I’m also mixing up years and classes of people who used them (because I cannot be arsed to sit and sort everything out class and period wise)

If it seems like I only stick to a couple of letters worth of slang, that’s because I’ve only just gotten to ones that start with D. It’s a whole process and I’m lazy

Also, I know absolutely nothing about business and I like to think I can be clever, so if the whole thing just sounds way too dramatic, I’m srry, I cannot business at all

But I tried and that’s what counts, right? :D

Hope u enjoy luv u

Words: 1608

Warnings: One (1) damn, not properly edited (maybe I’ll do it l8r though), might get v pretentious (I’m trying to channel my inner Victorian) :((

Fandom: Assassin’s Creed (Syndicate)

Characters: Jacob Frye, Reader

Relationships: Jacob Frye x Reader but like, still business-y (as if I know what that means)

Fortunately, you'd managed to avoid Mr. Starrick finding out about your unexpected little detour. Rather unfortunately, though, your driver seemed to have left town - you'd seen neither hide nor hair of him for the past week or so.

Not that you had the time to look for him, of course. You'd been entirely focused on building the company up again, regaining all the profits you'd lost after Pearl's death, so much so that you'd even forgotten Mr. Frye was due for a visit.

Until he showed up in a manner suited to one of his particular disposition.

You'd visited one of your friends that afternoon for a cup of tea, briefly putting aside the contracts and accounts you were constantly pouring over. Your departure soon after found you feeling lighter, the tension not weighing down your shoulders for once.

Though you did your best to counter it, of course. God forbid it ruin your posture.

Mind immediately wandering to the paperwork you had left, you approached your carriage (which, despite having been discreetly sent off to get fixed up, still bore a few scratches from your misadventure). The new driver already held the door open, arm extended to help you in. It was only when you glanced at him, nodding your gratitude, hand firmly in his grasp, that you realized it wasn’t, in fact, your recent employ.

It was Mr. Frye.

You let out a rather un-ladylike groan as you sat down.

"Please tell me you didn’t scare this one off too. I can't exactly afford the habit of interviewing for drivers."

His eyes widened in mock-innocence before he shut the door, getting on to the bench and taking the reins, all the while running his mouth about how he'd "never" and he was "appalled" you thought so little of him.

Good heavens.

"Yes, alright, but will he be back?"

"He'll meet you at Trafalgar Square in an hour," he sighed, urging the horse into a steady trot.

You frowned, "But that's only five minutes away."

"Which gives us fifty-five to talk, doesn't it?" he said, sounding rather exasperated. You chose to ignore that, instead peaking out the window, trying to figure out where you were headed.

"Mr. Frye, where exactly are we going?"

"Why, to the cosiest alley the district has to offer, of course!" he said, turning into one just within reach of the Square, hopping into the carriage almost as soon as he brought it to a halt.

"Well, this certainly won't rouse suspicion," you remark, peering through the window, eyebrows raised, before drawing the curtains and turning to look at him again. "Now, I presume you have something for me".

"Yes and no."

You narrowed your eyes, "That's not how it works, Mr. Frye. You either have an offer or you don't. Which is it?"

"There is something I can give you, but I'll need time to deliver on it."

"And that something is?"

Frankly, you didn’t expect much. There was barely anything he could offer that you couldn’t acquire (if you didn’t already have it) anyway.

"Complete ownership of Attaway Transport, without the added burden of Starrick's overbearing and ever-looming presence."

Or so you thought.

He managed to shock you into silent for a moment, before you shook yourself out of it and huffed out a small laugh.

"I have to say: I didn’t quite think you'd manage it, but you've captured my interest. Tell me, then; how exactly would you go about that? Mr. Starrick isn't one to just give up power."

"Luckily enough, we're looking to provide a more permanent solution to the problem of - well, him."

"Are you now?" your eyebrows shot up again, this time in intrigue, and you could feel the anticipation and excitement brewing within you at the thought of the possibilities his death could bring. If the way Mr. Frye's brow twitched in return was any indication, you weren't doing a very good job hiding it. "That certainly changes things. Though I suppose I should've known, you haven't been all that...subtle about your intentions, the way you've been running around London wreaking havoc."

"There you have it, then," he grinned, throwing an arm up over the back of the seat. "What do you say?"

You took a moment to deliberate, Mr. Frye letting you take the time you needed to come to a decision once you shot him a look when he started getting antsy, stopping him before he could get much further than "I don't mean to badger you but-". You could see the eagerness in the way he'd leaned ever so slightly towards you, in how his eyes remained trained on you, analyzing every shift in your features, hoping to catch a glimpse of what was going on in your head, of the decision you'd come to.

Well, there was certainly no doubt about what your answer was going to be. It was, however, quite endearing, the way he impatiently awaited your response.

Probably best you put him out of his misery, though, and so you offered him your hand.

"It appears," you smiled, "you have yourself a deal, Mr. Frye. I do hope you can hold up your end, and as shall I to the best of my abilities."

His face relaxed, and he took your hand, shaking it firmly. Though you expected it, the warmth of his grip, even through both his and your own glove, still left you pleasantly surprised.

"I must admit, however," you withdrew your hand, "I am curious: why trust me? After everything that's happened? Some might think you all the more barmy for it."

"Crotchetty as I may seem," he shot back, "I'll admit, I'm not exactly spoiled for choice when it comes to allies who can provide me better insight into Templar plans. You don't seem to care for the Order either, which is reassuring. To an extent. Naturally you'll have to earn my trust before I let Evie know about this little arrangement-"

"You haven't told your sister?"

"'Course not," he scoffed, "she'd never agree to it. Not after your mother. Besides, what my dear sister doesn't understand, is that sometimes you need to take a chance. Like I did, with the Rooks. And now with you."

You supposed that made sense.

"Besides," he continued, "it doesn't hurt to have powerful friends close to your nemesis-"

"As I've already mentioned," you injected, stifling a chuckle at how affronted he looked at being so unceremoniously interrupted, "I'm neither powerful nor am I close to Mr. Starrick. He doesn't trust me. Which means, more often than not, he'll ensure he bears witness to every move I make."

You shifted towards him.

"It's not just my business that's on the line here, Mr. Frye. It's my life. If he ever suspects me of consorting with you, I'd lose everything. My agreement is me trusting you to kill him and deliver on your end of the bargain."

At that, his eyes softened, and when he spoke next, sincerity was carefully woven into every word. "You needn't worry, Miss Attaway, you have my word. I will do whatever it takes to rid you of Starrick and his control."

Nodding softly in lieu of thanks, you cleared your throat, embarrassment burning in your chest at having let yourself be so vulnerable (for lack of a better word) with someone.

And a man you barely knew, at that.

"I apologise, you must think me utterly mercurial, and-"

"On the contrary, I think you're rather bricky," he said, and his damned gaze was still so gentle as it rest upon you, his tone somewhat similar to the one often adopted by strangers when they learned of how you came to live with Pearl. The thought of being pitied by him for having gotten into this situation, even though it was mostly his fault, left you feeling angry and humiliated.

You didn't need nor ask for his commiseration.

Choosing not to dignify that with a response (you knew anything you'd say would be in bad form), you immediately carried on like nothing had happened. "Right, I'll need a few weeks or so to get everything up and running again. In the meantime, you encourage any competitors that are not affiliated to Mr. Starrick. With a rival around, I could try and-"

"-blame your lack of profits onto them?" at your affirmation, he let out a low whistle. "Clever. That might just work."

The admiration in his voice didn't go unnoticed. You shrugged, "I know, and I'm counting on it. Of course, if it doesn't alleviate suspicion, we might have to resort to drastic measures, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, this is all we need to focus on."

Your sentence was punctuated by the chiming of Big Ben, indicating that your hour was up. With a "by your leave, Miss Attaway", Mr. Frye leapt into action, getting back onto the bench and driving the carriage to where your actual employee was to meet you. In an attempt to look a bit more inconspicuous, you drew open the curtains. Nothing like the hidden interior of a carriage to get people gossiping.

Dismounting, Mr. Frye glanced around, making sure you hadn't attracted any unwarranted attention, before tipping his cap to you and stalking off. Thankfully, it was crowded enough that no one paid a briefly unattended carriage any mind, and it gave him the opportunity to blend in with the locals, seemingly vanishing from sight.

You watched him go, and thinking your decision over for the rest of your journey, could only hope you'd made the right choice.

Slang used:

Crotchetty - eccentric, unexpected

Bricky - brave, fearless, adroit after the manner of a brick

Other:

Glove etiquette - whenever a gentleman had to shake someone’s hand, he would take off his glove (that he always wore when outside) before doing so. If he had to leave it on, he’d apologise while shaking the other person’s hand. Women, however, had to keep their gloves on at all times when they were out and about, except when at the dinner table during a party, because it was considered bad form to wear gloves while eating (mainly because the gloves were delicate, especially those made of kid, and wearing dirty gloves was “tacky”). However, when giving his hand to a woman whose own hands were gloved, a man wasn’t supposed to take off his. It was necessary to do so if hers were off too, though.

(Tumblr's an ass, so I'll reblog this post in a bit to link the articles I used as a reference because they're much, much better at providing a comprehensive explanation to how glove etiquette worked)

#jacob frye x reader #jacob frye #assassin's creed x reader #assassin's creed imagines #assassin's creed syndicate #mine

[phantom-bleu]

Hey srry if I’m being a bother but who is ridley? From what I’ve seen in the notes I don’t wanna interact with them but I don’t rlly know why they r bad,, please don’t feel like you have to answer this! I’m just curious

Thats okay anon its no bother, cecil is some1 who used to be active in the cr tags until they got this callout https://ridleycallout.tumblr.com/post/622213770192830464/please-be-careful-around-the-user-peachcookie it took me ages 2 find bc it was quite a while ago.... now this callout documents a few ppls experiences with them, but it seems like a LOT of people who have been active cr bloggers recently have had some run-ins with them including lots of people i know. They get around a lot and they. In my experience at least. Are very spiteful and dishonest. Its down to ppls experiences with them so take all of this as u will and form ur own opinion but this blog has a zero tolerance policy for them😐

[jess-the-vampire]

The Demon Next Door, Chapter 3

Previous / Next

Marco's phone ringed as he woke up, wiping the sleep from his eyes and peering around his room. It was about 2 in the morning and someone thought to call him now of all times? It was finally the weekend and he just wanted to sleep in already, he'd been lacking sleep trying to help star, study, and work on his jackie plan that this was his one time to make up for all the sleep he never got  in the week and someone was calling him now of all times? He reached for his phone with a groan as he opened it up to see what was up. Honestly he had been half expecting it to be star, but surprisingly this time it was not, tom was in fact texting him. Which meant across the street, right now, tom was wide awake, texting on his phone. Marco yawned, tom had actually been starting to text him a bit more recently, he seemed to actually like talking with marco whenever he could. Though marco had to be the one to tell him it was probably not smart to do it in class at any point ever.

It made Marco happy though it'd be nice if tom was a little better about when to contact marco, but then again, he was still learning. Marco squinted his eyes in the dark to read whatever was written on it, lying back on the mattress and scanning over the screen. His parents were pretty upset over the due fact tom's family had not responded to them and their invites in the slightest, it honestly probably made tom himself feel awkward just visiting since his family is mostly what they asked about whenever they saw him. And Tom wanted to visit now, seems that night with marco really made him actually excited to hang out with him. Marco finally had another friend, much to Star's frustration, but still. It was kinda nice to see the lonely boy who seemed pretty outed the day he arrived feel excited and want to actually spend time with him. Star was his friend but she was friends with almost everybody, marco actually made a friend, on his own, and the kid actually kinda seemed to like him. Speaking of which- Tom: My folks r kinda not in the mood 2 talk 2 yr parents, they get anxious about going into the homes of ppl they don't really know, i'm srry Yeah, he wasn't surprised, honestly he wouldn't be surprised if the reason other new families even came was just to be nice more then anything. Guess he'd have to tell his parents when he saw them later on, though he knew they'd be upset. Tom didn't talk that much about his family yet, he'd normally talk about stuff happening in school, sometimes star, ask Marco questions about echo creek, or just vaguely talk about the move. Marco would be lying if he didn't admit he kinda was curious about tom's parents. Were they rich? Seemed that way considering tom seemed very much loaded half the time. If they were, why did they move to a place like this? Seems pretty low-class for some rich family like theirs, and they sure don't blend in well with that creepy looking house. They were honestly talk of the town, a family moving in with a creepy house and never come out of it? It sure sounded like a horror movie, marco almost pictured tom's family as emo rockstars that looked like him, or even vampires, or maybe snooty looking folks who looked down on the poorer class and that's why they never left. Marco remembered he had seen what was probably tom's father vaguely during the first day but even that was hard to remember since he was mostly fixated on tom during that moment. He knew his parents were not going to give up that easily though, on the contrary, they'd probably change strategy. Now that Marco was making friends with Tom, it only increased their want and desire to meet his family and connect with them. And that didn't bode too well for marco because who knew if tom's parents would even like them or not, worst case scenario is they ended up refusing to let tom even go near marco of the diazes ever again if they went too far. Marco quickly texted tom back, tired but still curious. Marco: Are your parents weirded out by my parents? and Tom replied almost instantly back. Tom: My parents r actually really cool, I think they'd like u, but right now they don't want to go around to random ppl's home, maybe another time when they get used to me and u being friends... Fair enough. At least that reassured him from thinking they were snobby jerks at the very least. Marco: Well I'm glad your parents aren't going to eat me or anything like that lol Tom was silent for a bit before texting back and marco was worried maybe tom had fallen asleep on his end, but instead was met with a text back that told him maybe tom wasn't fond of that kinda humor when he couldn't see marco's face. Wherever tom originally came from, it seemed he wasn't familiar with telling sarcasm  and jokes from actual things marco meant when it came to texts, it honestly had marco wondering if tom ever hung out with teens at all before he moved. Tom: What? My parents would never eat you, why would you ever think that? It was meant to be a joke, something to ease his worries he had originally about tom's family, but based on the response he received, it seemed like tom himself took it a little more seriously then the boy had been intending it to be. Marco almost wanted to laugh, but then again he also didn't want tom to panic, making friends with tom seemed to matter a lot to the boy and Marco really didn't want to risk ruining their newfound friendship not even long after it started, Marco was quick to step in. Marco: Oh non no no, i was kidding, just a joke. Sorry! Tom was silent for a strangely long amount of time before he replied back, a uncomfortable silence present in marco's room that he only noticed now. Marco nervously waiting for tom to text back with sudden anxiety Tom: Ok, sorry for overreacting, I'll see you tomorrow, and uh....i'm sorry Marco: It's ok tom Tom didn't reply back, marco sighing as he tried to get back to sleep, he kinda had to go easy on tom. Tom was new and he didn't know much about how best to handle these situations, though he seemed fast to calm himself down whenever he got riled up, which was at least a good sign that he was working on his issues. Tom wasn't flat out attacking him or anything, and he seemed actually sorry, and it was kinda hard for marco to get too upset when tom seemed to care this much. And tom seemed to care a lot. Marco was just going to have to be careful from now on about what was ok for tom and what wasn't, Tom wasn't Star, and he couldn't treat him like Star either, he was going to have to adapt one way or another. Tomorrow they could meet up and check up on him and it'd probably be back to normal, but marco was lying if he said he wasn't always worried. It was almost like with jackie, one wrong move and you might miss your chance to ever fully connect with someone. - He fell asleep soon after and much to his surprise and delight, Tom came over for breakfast, finding him in the kitchen eating chocolate chip pancakes and smiling at the sight of marco, who waved and joined him at the table. He hadn't been expecting Tom so soon, honestly he thought most likely he'd invite him over or they'd meet up or something but this was a pleasant surprise.Tom was sitting next to mariposa in her high chair, who seemed to find the boy's appearance rather funny looking, giggling as she chewed on a pancake in front of him. Marco quickly added some to his own plate as tom brushed at his hair. "Sorry about last night...hope i didn't freak you out...". "What? Oh no no, I know you didn't know better...hope I didn't offend you or anything". Tom seemed to be thinking about something else before shaking his head and reassuring marco, "No No i was being silly, I just....it's just things that kinda happened back home....don't worry about it, I just get mad about it sometimes". Yeah, marco had a feeling as much as that being the reason why, but he seemed to feel a ton better at least seeing tom for himself instead of worrying about his emotions behind a screen without much else to go on. "I couldn't sleep last night cause I was worried I upset you so I came over and I hope that's ok....". "No no, that's ok, honestly star comes in when she wants too, i'm happy to see you honestly, i was hoping we'd meet up for certain.". Though Tom still seemed a little nervous, and marco couldn't help but notice her was playing more with his pancake then eating it now, they had only met not that long ago and were they already hitting a hurdle? He really hoped not, if he screwed up this bad this soon- "You wanna talk about it?". Tom turned his head before taking another full bite of pancake quickly, marco took that as a hard "No", guess that really was a sensitive topic for him, whatever it was. Marco instead went back to eating and changed the subject quickly to lighten up the mood, "hey uh...how are you liking echo creek so far? You've been here about a week at this point, you like it?". Tom's expression wasn't of joy but not of disgust either, then again, he probably hadn't been around Echo Creek all that much. "I could show you around at some point? Maybe the mall, britta's tacos, the park....if that's cool or something? You could hang out with me and Star..". Tom blinked at marco, as if he had no idea what in the heck the boy was even talking about in the slightest, that or...he blanked out into his mind for a bit. "Tom?", marco tapped onto his shoulder and tom shook his head, "Um...sorry, but doesn't having me and star together sound like a bad idea? She doesn't actually seem to want to be around me, she's mad with me....I don't think she wants me around when she's around, it's um....it sounds like fun but...". "Oh don't worry about that, star's like that sometimes....she probably just likes you.". "Likes me?". "Yeah!", marco explained carefully, "Star is not really the best with crushes, i mean she thinks she's good at them, but i've seen her obsess over them, pretend she's not interested to get them interested, went overboard, the whole bit.....she's been doing this since you got here so clearly something about you set her off that way and judging by how she looked at you when she first saw you, and knowing her, it's a crush. Don't take it too personally.". "She...has a crush on me?", tom said softly, scratching his head, "Is that normal around here?". "Yeah, sometimes when people like other people they pretend not to be interested to get the other interested, it's like reverse psychology.",Tom seemed to laugh at that, as if it sounded silly, and to be fair, marco could understand why. "I mean, if that were the case, everyone must have a crush on me back home", he snorted, "I dunno marco, i kinda don't really think that's the case, but I think it's cool you think I have any kinda of chance with her...". "You totally like her....", marco teased, wiggling his eyebrows, "C'mon, I can tell, every time she shows up you can't seem to take your eyes off of her.". Tom felt himself blush a little as he pulled his hair, "Marco, c'mon....that's stupid...I don't...is it that obvious?". Marco nodded, "Dude, when you thought I liked Star you kinda sounded jealous, I don't want to assume too much, but it kinda sounds to me you already have an interest in her...". "Uh....well, look uh.....maybe we should move on back to the subject...Um...I'd like to hang out but if Star doesn't want me there....maybe we should just do it one on one instead?", he was now playing with his pancakes on his plate, blushing but not really looking at marco and marco sighed and dropped the subject. "Well, that should still be kinda fun! Maybe you could come and see my karate lesson? Star usually goes but she's kinda in trouble because of the whole "Cheating thing" so...good chance she can't this time". "Karate?", marco smiled wide as he grabbed his phone to show some pictures of him in his green belt, "Yeah, at the mall, I'm currently a green belt and working on my red next, Karate is like SERIOUS business. You outta watch me in action when I finally kick Jeremy's butt", he did a few small karate moves at the table and tom stared at him blankly as he acted them out,  "You fight? I had no idea you could fight!". Tom's voice slowly got more impressed and interested as he processed what marco was talking about, "That's really cool actually." "You didn't know what karate was?". "Oh um...well, where i come from people do fight, but...not that kinda fighting, so....sorry, I might be a little outta the loop...", he looked almost embarrassed about it, was tom really sheltered before he moved? It didn't seem that way judging by some of Tom's previous statements, but Marco didn't think he'd hear of anyone not knowing what Karate was before. Then again, Star did the same thing so maybe it was more common then he was making it out to be. "Well, my practice starts later today, so if you wanna stick around i'll show you around the mall and you can watch me totally kick butt!", the redhead seemed more then happy, finishing up his breakfast fast and practically chugging down his orange juice like it was no tomorrow. Marco finished his food as well before asking tom to wait downstairs as he went to go tell his mom he wanted a ride early so they had time to explore the shops together. Angie's reaction of course, was a little too mushy for Marco's taste, about her baby boy and his cute new best friend. Marco made friends with a new kid whose actually kinda cool, it wasn't "Cute", it was normal, what was so "Cute" about him making friends with this boy? Ugh, it didn't matter, she said yes anyway though she would take Mariposa with her and check out a few stores while they were out. Which was fine enough, as long as she didn't spend the entire time gushing about Marco making a friend the whole time. He was probably getting too worked up over his parents gushing about his relationship with tom, they were excited, he just didn't like them making such a big deal about it. They were already making such a big deal about meeting tom's family, what if they made tom too uncomfortable with all their gushing? Ugh, he really was freaking out about this too much, he needed to calm down. He and Tom were going to have a good time together and he was going to chill about it. "Marco...you ok?", tom glanced over to marco from the backseat of the car, which gave marco the impression he was probably fidgeting in front of him a little too much. Though much to Marco's embarrassment, Angie chipped in from the driver's seat, "Oh don't worry about him, I think he's just nervous, he's been having a hard time beating that Jeremy boy for a long time now, that boy's only 8 and has been destroying marco for years at this point!". "8 years old?" Marco felt mortified. "MOM!". "Aww c'mon sweetie, no need to be shy about it, we know you'll beat him this time around. Marco's been doing karate for a long time, Star likes to go to his practices ever since she moved but she also gets too busy to come at all, so perhaps you might like it tom. Do your parents have any private study sessions for you as well?", Tom coughed into his hand and looked out the window, "Well, no, I guess I have a lot of freetime these days...I honestly wasn't sure what i'd do with myself before marco came a long to be honest...I'd probably be playing games in my room all day.". "Well see, that's wonderful! Marco doesn't get to do much either outside of karate and hanging out with star, he used to stay in his room all by himself. Star's such a sweet girl but she's always so busy it seems, her mother runs a tight ship I tell ya, you two can hang out when you have time, marco would love more company when star's not around, he gets really lonely.", marco was about ready to jump out of the car at this rate, though honestly his mom really didn't need to know how much star broke her mother's rules to find reasons to hang out with marco anyway. "Ok mom, he gets it....". "He really likes karate, though we had to take him out of lessons for a bit when he broke his arm trying to break 3 wooden boards once...", Marco scrunched up in his seat and pulled the hood over his head before pulling the strings, hoping to hide his face forever so tom couldn't see him. The Car ride seemed to be taking forever and marco felt he had effectively downed out the conversation tom and his mother were having and when his mother finally parked outside the mall, marco practically lept out, forgetting to unbuckle his seat belt in the process and blushing in embarrassment as he struggled to take it off, grab his bag of karate clothes, and walk out, still with the hoodie hood over his head. He couldn't even look tom directly in the face. And he didn't as they entered the mall, Angie walking off with Mariposa and leaving the boys together. Much to Marco's relief, though he still wasn't looking at Tom, despite knowing he should and should help him out like he promised. He needed to pull himself together, there was no way he'd ever be able to ask out jackie or take down his karate rival if he couldn't deal with a little embarrassment from his mom to someone he hadn't known all that long. He coughed and removed his hoodie, thankful that tom hadn't ran off and still was next to him, if this were star she'd already be checking out a store by now. "Sorry um.....c'mon....let's get looking shall we? uh....where you wanna go first?", Tom blinked as he took in all the sights, he seemed almost memorized by the size of the place and all it's colorful stores and scenery. He grabbed onto Marco's arm and pulled him along as he hopping into a shirt shop for the more grungy type. Of course this would be tom's first stop, he seemed to love wearing punk clothing, it was like being a kid at a candy shop for him as he browsed the shirts and earrings. Marco seemed a little more at ease watching tom get absorbed in the shopping aspect, it drew less attention away from the embarrassing conversations earlier and seemed to make him very happy. He took some breaths and tom tried on some new clothes, picked out some skull earrings, even a few other accessories before heading out. Though not before seeing if marco wanted to try on anything, which marco politely declined considering punk didn't seem to be "His style". The day seemed to go smoother from there, tom checked out bookstores, game stores, stores with stuffed animals and much to marco's surprise, he seemed to take much interest in the stuffed animals there especially. After checking out a few more stores together they found themselves at the food court, each with chili cheese dogs and a milkshake each, Tom carefully taking a bite out of his chili dog before woolfing it down quickly, making marco laugh as he got chili all over his face. This was nice. Marco felt actually content and Tom was enjoying himself, no more freaking out, no mom making him feel embarrassed. Tom was even laughing, asking questions about the mall and karate in general, Star liked karate well enough but seeing Tom invested and curious about it and what Marco did kinda got him excited. Finally, someone who seemed genuinely interested in the art! Though the conversation about hands and arm stance was interrupted as a blonde on a skateboard rushed by their table, stopping marco mid-sentence to stare at her, tom looking back as well before looking at marco who immediately tried to avert his gaze from the girl. Tom blinked at marco before his lips fascinated a smile marco didn't like, Tom leaning on one of his hands now as his arm perched up on the table. "Skateboard girl huh? Y'know....I never would've guessed, but I can totally see it....". Marco quietly sipped on his milkshake as he adverted his eyes away from tom who tapped him on the shoulder, "I'm not making fun, ok? You don't have to talk about her if you don't want I know we don't know each other THAT well I'm just saying...". "I don't know what you're talking about...", marco said, lying out of his teeth. "Dude, I know what that look is, i'm not stupid....you saw her and you were totally checking her out....like c'mon now, it's cool dude....you didn't think It was weird that I might like Star so...you can talk about it if you want to". Marco gulped, and let out a deep breath in defeat. "Her name is Jackie Lynn Thomas...". "Hmm?". Marco sighed as he put his drink down, "I've liked her since elementary school....and I've never asked her out....", he felt another rush of embarrassment overwhelm him as he reached behind his head, "I really like her...ok? I think she's cool, but....I don't think she really notices me...I'm trying to come up with a plan to ask her out but....I've been delaying trying to y'know....do it?". Tom's smile faded quickly as he leaned on the table to look Marco in the eyes, "Elementary school?". "Yeah...since we were 4 practically...". "Wow....you do have it bad...". He blushed harder, "Don't tell her or anything...don't tell star i've been delaying either, I always tell her i'm getting started on the plan but if she ever found out i'm delaying, she'll probably force me to hang out with jackie to make sure I do it.". Tom could read the distress on Marco's face and seemed to get it, "Tom, I'm just not sure she'll even like me, ok? We don't really talk that much or interact in general...I mean....you saw me today, I screw up talking to you, I'm a loser who sits in my room all day, I get beaten up by a child....Jackie might....she might think I'm pathetic....I'm sure I look pathetic...". "I don't think you're pathetic...", Marco's eyes looked over to Tom, whose face was entirely serious, before leaning his face on the table, "C'mon, don't lie to me here, you haven't even known me for that long and all you hear about me is how i'm a nerd who can't even get his red belt and can barely work up the nerve to talk to his crush. I was so upset earlier because I really didn't want to look stupid in front of you and....If i look stupid in front of you there's no way Jackie will think I'm cool...". "You were worried about me not wanting to be friends with you because of stuff like that?". Marco nodded against the table. "Dude, Like, I know we haven't known each other that long but...I don't think It's stupid you like a girl or spent a lot of time in your room or lose sometimes....I mean...I'm kinda the same way...", Marco peeled his face off the table to look tom directly in the eyes as he rubbed his cheek, "Like Of course I sat in my room because well...I didn't have anyone to hang out with but...yeah there's this girl....I like....and..I really screwed up with her...and I know I should move on but I...still feel like I love her and.....it's complicated....". "You didn't have an elaborate plan to date her did you?", Tom almost laughed, though marco was dead serious. "No, no elaborate plan...though....I did have an elaborate plan to like....win her back and prove to her I'd be a great boyfriend...and....", he drifted off but Marco seemed to get the picture, "Y'know...I think it's kinda touching...you're so willing to talk about this with me...I assume it's probably really personal and weird to be sharing with someone you haven't known so long...". "Maybe but......I've never really met anyone whose uh....gone through something like this before...so...I guess I couldn't really help it. Sorry if that's weird, I'm still struggling with this whole "Friend" thing so I might not be sure what I'm doing half the time or if it's ok to do...i think we're both trying so hard to not make things weird or screw up with each other we're making it harder to just....talk and get to know each other...we're so socially awkward..", Tom almost laughed it off, but instead he seemed more nervous then anything, shielding his eyes, "Just...let's promise not to make each other feel weird about the dating thing....it's uh...yeah I'm kinda guilty of wanting someone but not being sure of ever winning them over either...". "Sounds to me like we have more in common then I though, but....yeah, I promise...just uh...don't tell anyone about my crush....i'm already pretty embarrassed as is...". Tom snorted, "I won't...if you won't tell anyone as well.", marco nodded before holding out his hand, tom staring at it for a bit before taking it and marco shook their hands. "Uh....well..Karate starts in a bit if you wanna get on over there? You don't have to though you could always do more shopping or something...". But tom shook his head before pounding a fist into the palm of his other, "Oh no no no, I wanna see you fight this jeremy kid, and if he gives you any trouble...he'll hear about it from me...". "Oh uh, that's not necessary tom...", tom's face dropped, but then Marco thought back to the time Jeremy hid gold knuckles in his glove to cheat hi sway to the top and shook his head, "Uh well...nevermind, we'll see, maybe some other time", though Tom didn't seem so sure himself. They cleaned up their areas and tom grabbed their bags as they headed over to the mall dojo, tom taking a seat on the bleachers inside as marco went to change, looking over all the students who seemed mostly younger then marco. Wow, not even in his own class did marco have any friends of his own age, that kinda seemed to suck, though it didn't take tom long to point out the kid who was probably Jeremy. Considering he had a butler following him and looked too full of himself to be anyone BUT Jeremy, geez no wonder marco didn't like him. Jeremy seemed to spot Tom out of the corner of his eye, before looking creeped out and going back to practicing his kicks, Tom never came here before now, he probably did look strange for that reason. He awkwardly sat there, only to be relieved when Marco returned, handing over the bag with his clothes for Tom to watch over. "So yeah, just keep an eye on my stuff, and you can watch I guess.....", Tom awkwardly gave Marco a smile and thumbs up, "Kick his ass....you got this, just uh.....imagine you're trying to impress jackie." Marco snorted as he headed back for the lesson, Tom smiling to himself as he watched Marco learn moves and fight the other students. Marco WAS pretty good. He seemed to hold his own pretty well, blocking most hits and kicks and winning against every opponent he was against. Tom was more then impressed, Marco probably thought he'd be bored sitting here and waiting for his lessons to be finished but Tom honestly couldn't keep his eyes off marco. Marco seemed more at ease seeing Tom practically cheer him on as well, It was rather nice, though as his next and last fight came up he felt that happiness quickly devolve. Jeremy was a spoiled little brat who cheated his way into everything, in fact marco was darn sure the kid wasn't even that great at karate, he was sure he bought his way here by paying people to lose and cheating his way past the ones who refused. Honestly the only reason Jeremy probably hadn't been kicked from the class is because he had so much money and had so much power that Sensei refused to get rid of him because he's probably the only reason this place was still in business. Jeremy smirked before motioning to Tom, chilling in his seat and snorting, "Whose the new kid diaz? Is he your boyfriend or something?". Marco made a face, before looking at Tom, and then back to the kid. Tom didn't seem to have heard anything, "Uh...no, he's a friend, y'know, the kind thing you have to pay people to even be?". The kid snorted at him, "OOOO, Diaz is so scared to get beaten up he's trying to make me sad, nice try...but i'm not going easy on you for your boyfriend back there." "He's not my-ugh.....whatever, bring it on jeremy...". Honestly Marco thought the fight was actually going well for a short bit, he managed to block jeremy rather well and avoided a specific kick jeremy had definitely intended to hit the boy's groin. He was pretty sure that was not in the rules at all either, and marco scoffed in his mind about sensei not disqualifying the kid almost instantly for that one. though the next move really got under Marcos's skin as he dodged another kid only for the boy to hit him directly in the face, knocking him to the ground. He swore he heard Tom audibly gasp in his seat as marco felt his face, yep, he put something in his glove again, and it HURT. Jeremy was pumping his fists in the fair, feeling incredibly victorious, but that didn't last much longer till tom practically jumped down to confront the boy on this, only stopped by sensei before he could, "Whoa whoa, easy there....Diaz...you ok?". Marco sat up, rubbing the side of his face, "I...think so? But.....jeremy-". Only for the adult to cross his arms, "Diaz, if you're about to accuse him of breaking any rules again I told you I haven't found any proof...no more of that without it ok?". Marco huffed in frustration as Tom stepped forward, past the man and glared at jeremy. "Marco has a mark on his face, that kid in no way should've been able to hurt him THAT badly, are you seriously not going to look into this?", tom looked rather furious though jeremy snorted at Tom's insistence, "Maybe i'm not stronger, maybe marco is just a weak baby like he's always been, I've been kicking his buts for ages....just because I won doesn't mean I cheated.". Tom clutched his fists before sensei stood between the two, "Hold on kid, I'm sorry if Diaz got hurt but if you think jeremy really cheated then....do you have any proof yourself?". "Check his glove then....". "Hmm?". "Check the glove he used to hit marco...", Tom insisted, "Make sure there was no foul play...though he did hit marco in the face which is kinda already pretty bad..like I don't know karate but shouldn't hitting Marco in the face be considered an unfair win?.". Jeremy shot a look at Tom, but Tom was quick to grab his glove from him and sure enough, a bunch of metal rings popped out of it and onto the floor. Some of the other people among the seats gasped, others seemed entirely unsurprising by this at all, especially the other students, guess they were just as aware as marco about his cheating that they were unfazed. Jeremy squeaked as Tom walked over and pulled Marco up onto his feet before grabbing his stuff and running out as his butler carefully walked behind him. "Well, lessons are done a bit early today then....I better go find the kid....cya soon Diaz..",swaety and embarrassed for how incompetent he now looked in front of the parents and adults who came to watch their kids, Sensei followed them out quickly in his bare feet as Marco rubbed his hurt face and looked to tom. "Wow....you...actually might've gotten him to take action against him....but....how did you? Like I kept trying everything it feels like...", only for Tom to just shrug. "I mean....I guess i'm more direct is all...not like he can lie if I expose him out front of everyone....but c'mon that was totally not cool....no 8 year old with a lousy punch like that should've knocked you to the ground.". Marco quickly found himself smiling, "Thanks for sticking up for me...even though i said not to get involved....maybe Jeremy will finally stop cheating against me...". Though in his heart he didn't seem to totally believe that, in fact more then likely this would only give jeremy more of a reason to torment him after this, especially if he really thought Tom and him were in on it together and were a team in general. Though for now, he seemed more then happy as tom grabbed their things as people cleared out, tom surprised to see the other kids give him high fives on their way out. "Well....so much for karate....", marco sighed, as the dojo cleared out, grabbing his clothes and pulling out his phone to tell his mom. Tom placed  his hand on the phone and pushed it down though, "Hey...I had a great time...I...I'll come again in the future, uh....sorry about ending it early.....it's just...wow that kid was out of line on you...". Marco snorted, "Well, if lessons are much easier and less stressful from now on, then I guess i can't be that upset....but uh...shouldn't we go home?". "Well...I was thinking, could I treat you to some frozen drinks? To celebrate your first win against that jeremy kid? Besides maybe you want something cold to lean against your.....cheek?", marco rubbed the side of his face and nodded, "Hey....thanks for caring so much and not making fun of me today....I was kinda worried maybe...well yeah.". The taller boy snorted as he fixed his jacket, "It's cool, we'll get used to it right? Talking to each other and getting more comfortable?". "Yeah...sounds good.". Heading, out, the two butted against each other, laughing as they watched Sensei chase the 8 year old all over the mall.

#star vs the forces of evil #svtfoe #svstfoe #tomco #tom the demon #tom lucitor #marco #marco diaz #jackie lynn thomas #fanfiction #my art

[cowboyshit]

1, 5, 10 - with Christmas Catharsis and Hangman, 20, 25 for the fanfiction writer asks, please?

Thank you SO much babe!!!! ♥♥♥ LBR I love talking about my fanfiction akjsdkjsdkj 

( FANFICTION WRITER ASKS )

1: how old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction?ohh, I was fourteen!! I only know/remember this because it was pirates of the caribbean fanfiction and it was literally the NIGHT after I got back from seeing it in the theaters lmao 

5: if you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?COWBOY AND THE MUSTANG!!!! HANDS. DOWN. Oh, there’s so many reasons tbh and I could go into an essay about why, but I’ll condense it down for this answer. The main reason is that I really, really enjoy writing horses in any capacity, but the second reason is that it’s become the story I always wanted to write. I always DREAMED about writing a romance story where horses played a large part and what I’ve come up with next for cowboy and the mustang is SO exciting and I am DYING to write it. so far, all four parts add up to 25k words according to ao3. last year I told myself I would finally stop stalling or doubting myself and write a romance novella that’s at least 50k words… and with what I have planned next, I think cowboy and the mustang just might be that novella. plus, writing about cowboy adam, writing adam bonding with horses, and writing adam as a single father to a little girl ajdfksdlksakmjdslksd I just really, genuinely love this story so, so much. It’s very near and dear to my heart and when other people tell me THEY enjoy it to it just…I can’t even begin to explain how much it means to me.

10: in Christmas Catharsis, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind?honestly I had no alternative ending in mind! christmas catharsis, as the hangman gang knows, was a random inspiration I got two days before my smutmas fic was due to be posted. the story was one of those that just POURED out of me. it demanded to be written. I knew I wanted to keep it in the same day and write it (basically) moment-for-moment, because of how important their connection was. it’s supposed to be a magical, heavy, all-pressing weight pushing on them and forcing them closer and closer together despite all the reasons they may want to keep apart (particularly noelle). I knew I wanted to end with a little joke, just to help break how emotion-heavy the ride was, and I actually came up with adam’s stupid “oh I have plans srry haha sike my plans are with you!” joke about halfway through writing the ficlet itself.

20: are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?hmmm… none that spring up immediately to mind, but I know there are certain ones I wish I would have added a little more to.  maybe ‘the cowboy hat stays on’ I would have liked to have added more to?? sometimes I think if I could revisit that fic there’s a LOT I would rewrite.

25: have you ever cried whilst writing a story?okay… I know this is supposed to be about fanfiction, but… I have not yet cried when writing fanfiction (although my recent comfort fic got me a little bit when adam broke down) BUT just recently while writing with my best friend we wrote something that makes me full on SOB and I wish I could talk to people about. I had to take breaks when writing because I was crying so much and I haven’t even had the heart to go back and read it. It’s a poly trio, where the girl (my character) is in love with two brothers who are the president and vp of a 1% motorcycle gang. the three of them have been the best of friends for years, a perfect little family unit. my girl had previously confessed how she felt to both men and they decided that until she made up her mind which one she wanted to marry and be with, neither of them could have her. they don’t know about being poly at the moment. so anyways, in this chapter we just wrote, my girl and one of the guys broke down and caved to their attraction and started kissing. when they broke apart the guy thought that meant my girl chose him, but she said no. she still loved them BOTH equally and she could NOT have one without the other. well, on the club side of things, their peaceful town has been getting wild and there’s been a lot of death and danger close to home. the guy decides (he’s the president) that’s it. this isn’t safe. they’re all suffering and he’s afraid a target will come on her if anyone figures it out so he tells her… that’s it. he’s sending her away. for good. she’ll go and live her life and be happy and free of the club drama. and her heart fucking BREAKS. she full on breaks down sobbing and FUCK i ship these character soooo hard that it just… it hurts SO BAD. anyways, the vp brother comes home and finds his brother (the president) silently crying, runs into her room and finds her SOBBING and he just holds her and his brother comes in and tells him he’s sending her away. she wants them both and it’s not safe anymore. the vp brother breaks down SOBBING holding onto her begging his brother not to take her (he used to be addicted to drugs but he got clean thanks to the girl and he’s terrified he’ll have to go back to using once she’s gone). eventually they come to the conclusion that it is the best thing for her and she leaves them and fuck it HURTS. obviously they won’t be able to take it and a lot more drama is going to happen but EVENTUALLY they will be a secret poly trio and they will be HAPPY DAMMIT anyways if you’ll indulge me I’m gonna post a small part of it:

Leaving was going to keep her safe, but who was going to keep them safe?  Reagan squeezed tighter around Teddy and sobbed harder into his chest, knowing there were no answers she’d like.  She knew if something happened to them, even knowing there would be nothing she could have done if she was here, Reagan would feel guilty for every breath she took that they couldn’t.

Because it wasn’t just her whose heart was breaking.  It was all of them.  All three of their hearts were shattered, forced apart.  The only difference was Reagan could be sent away without anyone following her, without the entire club falling to pieces because of it.  Teddy and Eli were still going to have to be here, where reality had turned scary, and they’d be in danger’s way every single day.

It both hurt worse, knowing they’d be hurting, and comforted her, because at least she wasn’t crazy to feel as heartbroken as she did.

“I wish I could take you both with me,” she said, pathetically, muffled into Teddy’s chest as the three of them just held each other in the silence that chased their cries.  She found that a piece of her hated that the first (and likely only) time she had them both, wrapped into their joined embrace, was for this reason.  She hated everything that’d happened, but most of all she hated that she was powerless to change it.

That this had to be their answer.

Teddy kissed her, and Reagan pushed back into the kiss as hard and needy as she felt, so he’d always remember not only what she’d said, but how much she’d meant it.  She was never, ever going to stop loving him.  She could leave no room for doubt.

Then Eli kissed her.  Feverish.  Desperate. As if he wanted to put his lips everywhere and know what every piece of her tasted like before he lost her forever. Reagan tumbled into Eli’s passion, wrapped up in him and dizzy by the time Teddy called him back.  Her hands fell out of his and instantly felt achy with cold.  She clasped them together, and her lips pressed and quivered, and the view of them blurred and danced, and their home behind her, and the life she’d always thought of as the perfect one.

“I…”  she didn’t know what she could say that’d already been said.  There wasn’t anything.  She just didn’t want to admit the time had come.  She needed to leave.  That was all that was left.  Her tongue swept her dry lips and tasted their tears and their kisses.  She sniffed and forced herself to turn away, reaching to wipe at her cheeks and walking too quickly to the driver’s side of the car.

For Teddy, Reagan made herself get into that car.  She always believed Teddy was right and there was no better proof of her reverence to his word than her acceptance of his decree, even if it was the hardest thing she’d ever had to do.  Reagan threw no more fits.  Reagan didn’t try and argue around the solution.  She reached up, adjusting the review mirror, swallowed back the tears at them in the sight of it, and pushed her boot down on the gas pedal, driving away and trying not to think about how much smaller they were getting as she did.

#snarkandsarcasmwrites #ashley answers #i hope it isnt annoying i talked about my original writing for the last answer and not fanfiction i just!!!! #that scene we wrote is SO beautiful and heartbreaking #it GETS to me #and obviously it gets me because i have a personal investment #we've been slowburn writing their relationship for the past YEAR #ajkdfkjdsf #long post #long post for ts

[seokmingyu]

🥺🌼💕 get to know your mutuals ! when you get this, it means someone wants to know more about you, so list 5 things about yourself you want your followers to know. they can be as simple as your age or as complex as your deepest fear, as long as it’s something you’re comfortable with sharing. when you’re done, send this to 10 people you want to get to know better ! 🥺🌼💕

OKAY THESE ARE GOING TO BE SO LONG CAUSE I LIKE.. MANY THOUGHTS.. (thank you btw kat!!) ♡ 

1. i’m slowly getting into more groups!! which is something that i wasn’t expecting AT ALL but so many people i’ve met here are multi anyways so i just naturally became curious. holy shit i love the boyz? i’ve been sleeping on them SO BAD. also fromis 9 y’all wtf (my top groups rn right after seventeen)!!! i was solely a seventeen stan (as in, i only kept up with them and their schedule/comebacks). currently learning golden child n wjsn + have been listening to sf9 recently once this semesters over i’ll have time for things like this asdkasj. 

2. my deepest fear rn? probably feeling unprepared for my upper level classes next semester and for the next two years. i feel like my bio + chem knowledge is so mediocre and i’ve just been doing the bare minimum in everything to like.. move on to the next thing lol i’m just going through the motions. i don’t really try to fully understand concepts but that’s the school system babey. 

3. cafe vlogs really help me calm down?? like hearing ice do it’s thing and clink clank. also seeing how pretty people make their drinks? like iced americano does not look appealing to me but seeing the espresso being combined with the water? idk usually a barista’s job is like,, really stressful but these vlogs make me feel at peace. 

4. i found out i was not a leo rising but rather an aquarius rising and like. that makes so much more sense.. like i’m not even THAT into astrology but i just knew damn well i don’t have a leo placement in me at all (no offense to leos, i just don’t see it in me????? i’m stereotyping so bad i’m srry idk what i’m talking about actually aosdkjas)

5. quarantine has made me dehydrated like i went from drinking almost 64oz of water a day to literally none omg? also i found out i can’t study at home and this is why cafes are my safe space. 

#IM AVOIDING DOING ALL MY LAB ASSIGNMENTS AND THEYRE DUE IN LIKE 17 HOURS BUT LETS NOT #replies #tag game

[elapsed-spiral]

I meant what u hate/love about the fandom srry if it was worded weirdly :)

No need to apologise! I thought that's what you meant but wanted to be sure. 

A few caveats: i) ultimately none of this matters because it's a cartoon monkey band, ii) I've only really been involved in 2Doc fandom as opposed to Gorillaz more generally and iii) I may be looking at things through rose tinted glasses because I was 15 or so when Phase 2 came out. 

I don't want to be Old but I do think fandom (not just 2Doc, all fandom) has gotten worse. More accurately, I think the platforms used for fandom have gotten worse. 

During Phases 2 and 3, I mostly used LiveJournal, and while I'm sure there must have been issues, I don't remember them being as extreme as nowadays. For example, I don't remember there being the same level of animosity towards Murdoc. Perhaps that was because PB hadn't happened yet, but I think it also has to do with the structure of LJ. It was separated out into communities, so you had to go looking for trouble to see stuff you didn't want to see. I know Tumblr has tags, but they're kind of pants and it's not the same degree of separation. There was definitely fanwank around (Branca…) but it didn't feel as extreme as now. That being said, I do also remember seeing a lot more art featuring Murdoc in Nazi regalia, so I really don't miss that. 

Fast forward to Phases 4 and 5. I think Tumblr is a pretty crap platform for fandoms to use (I can't comment on IG or Twitter as I don't use them much). It kind of blends fandom and politics because of the "newsfeed" style format. Everything feels mashed together - real life concerns and fandom - and I don't think that's helpful. 

Likewise, although I think there's always going to be age old issues in all fandoms, like BNFs sucking all the oxygen out of the room, I do think things have generally become quite "puritanical" in 2010s culture and this has bled into fandoms. 

Three main effects of this culture shift as I see them are: 

Firstly, a weird obsession with the truth, e.g. needing receipts to prove something is the case. Ultimately, any non-canon pairing in a fandom is untrue. It's something you've chosen to see and think about, for whatever reason, but it doesn't really exist. Fighting within a fandom over what is or isn't true about a character or pairing just seems nonsensical to me because ultimately, you've gone past the source material. This isn't what was ever intended by the creators. Personally, I don't even see that as a bad thing so I find it all a bit baffling. For me, 2Doc being non-canon is part of the fun of fandom: you get to imagine and create your own ideas. 

Secondly, a way greater level of morality/content policing. I honestly don't remember any of that back in 2005 (maybe the Nazi Murdoc fan artists could have done with a touch of it). The idea that an artist or writer is responsible for a viewer or reader's experience is a more recent phenomenon. The concept of "DNI" and people expecting creators to self censor didn't exist back then. I find it really hard to stomach, personally: I've seen some pretty rank stuff online in various fandoms down the years, but I would never hold the creators accountable for my experiences. Ultimately, I chose to view or read those things (and when I did that stuff while underage, well, maybe my parents should have checked up on me more!). 

Thirdly, there is a real obsession with content creation, which again I think links back to Tumblr's format. It's essentially a glorified popularity contest. LiveJournal felt like it was more about meaningful interaction, since you could only leave a comment, not "like" things. Perhaps it's just me, but it definitely feels like, on Tumblr, you have to keep creating content to "earn" any kind of interaction and if you stop, you're toast. 

Finally, on a less serious note, while it's never been a big fandom, I definitely think 2Doc burns brighter and fades faster with each passing Phase now. I think that's probably because people realise the writing is on the wall and the chances of Gorillaz becoming some bigger, sustained project comprising movies and holographic stage shows are nil. Back in 2005, that stuff seemed likely, and things like Rise of the Ogre really gave fans something to sink their teeth into. 

Thanks again for the interesting ask!

Edit: I realise now I've managed to not say a single positive thing about the fandom. I swear there are some, I just can't read or retain information. I'd say I love the same things about the fandom now as I did in Phase 2: I love the fans and their enthusiasm and generosity for sharing their creativity and talents. Some things never change and I'm really grateful for that. You can have the best characters in the world (and Murdoc and Stu remain some of my favourite characters ever, god knows why) but, in the end, fans make a fandom.

#Also there's just a lot of AUs nowadays? #Nothing wrong with it just don't remember that from back in the day #Sorry this is long I'm Old and I've got Views

[golbrocklovely]

only the lonely survive // colby brock - chapter four: i don’t blame you for being you

A/N: hey everyone! I haven't posted in a while so I thought I would go ahead and post another chapter. I might post again tomorrow bc this chapter and the next chapter are kinda short for my liking. Idk tho. lmk what you think :)

description of story here

trigger warnings: swearing???, slight (teeny-tiny amount) heartbreak/ache

word count: 1788

After the initial shock of realizing I sung in front of my favorite people without knowing they were there, I was surprisingly able to hold a conversation with all the guys without being nervous.

Maybe I need to break out into song more often.

"Hey Skye, I want to know more about you. Lemme ask you some questions." Brennen jumped in, ending our previous conversation.

I shrugged my shoulders, "Sure. Ask me anything and I'll tell you the truth."

Casey nodded her head, "Yeah. Skye's notorious for telling it like it is. She gets really brutal sometimes."

I slapped her arm, she smacked my thigh back, laughing.

"Okay, then. Now let me think... Let's start with some basic questions. How old are you?" Brennen asked.

"I'm twenty-three. My birthday is September 16th." I smiled.

Corey cheered, "Oooh we got another Virgo in the house!" He raised his hand for a high-five. I smacked it lightly.

"You went to college with Casey, right? What did you major in?" Brennen questioned.

"I studied theater and art." I replied.

"Do you want to be an actress?" Corey responded.

I scrunched up my face. "I don't think so? I have no idea what I want to be. I just want to do something with the arts. That's really the only thing I'm certain about. I studied theater because I love it."

Casey chuckled, "These questions are boring. Ask something a little more... scandalous."

Brennen rolled his eyes, "Okay then. Skye, how many boyfriends have you had?"

Dear God, not this question.

I sighed, "Uh... just one."

Liar.

I looked over at Casey and she smiled sadly.

"Was the break up bad?" Colby asked quietly, chiming in for the first time.

I turned my head to him, "...I guess you could say that."

Colby and I looked at each other until Sam stated jokingly "Thanks for making things awkward, Brennen."

Brennen threw his arms up in protest, and I giggled. "No Sam, it's fine. It was a long time ago, back in like high school. I'm okay. It just didn't end well, like most of my relationships."

Brennen smiled, "Sounds like my love life."

"You have one?" I quipped, smirking.

Everyone responded back, snickering. 

"Alright. No need to hurt my feelings, guys." Brennen shushed. "You know," He continued, "my love life has kinda fallen into a slump. Maybe you could help restart it?"

Was he flirting with me?

I held back an eye roll. "Is that what constitutes as flirting out here?"

"Constitutes? Look at you, using your college education!" He exclaimed mockingly.

"Don't get sassy, now. You're the one that started it." I sassed back, standing up to get another drink.

Brennen leaned closer to Colby, whispering loudly "I love when they play hard to get."

I stopped in the doorway, turning back towards the group. "Oh, that's cute."

"What?" Brennen asked, sitting up.

"You think you can actually get with me..." I smiled, cocking my head to the side. I turned back towards the kitchen and left, hearing the boys mock Brennen.

I stepped into the kitchen and sighed. This was a lot to take in.

Brennen weirdly flirted with me. Corey and I are becoming friends. All the guys are super nice. And to top it off, Colby's eyes are like CRAZY blue. 

Holy shit, I need to sit down.

I went over to the fridge and grabbed another diet coke. I sat down on the counter and scrolled through my phone, trying to calm down. A message popped up on my screen:

 Casey: hey i'm srry that i made brennen ask u about ur dating situation

 My 'dating situation' was... not really a situation at all. Because it didn't exist.

I, Skylar Elizabeth Bennett, am twenty-three years old and have never had a boyfriend.

Embarrassed was barely where my emotions started when it came to my dating situation. Growing up, I was always the awkward introverted friend. Because of this, I got ignored a lot. Now, it's not that I didn't try to date guys, I did. But a lot of them shot me down. And I don't blame them. I can't force someone to be attracted to me, and I wouldn't want someone to date me out of pity.

I just feel weird saying it out loud, especially to someone like Brennen who has definitely had multiple girlfriends and hookups, that I had never been with someone. Ever. In like any way, shape, or form.

If God could just send a boy that likes me my way, that would be great.

"Are you hiding from us?" Colby's voice asked, appearing out of nowhere.

I jumped a bit, looking up. He stood in front of me, smiling lightly. 

I smiled back, exhaling. "No. I-uh... just needed to get away from all of that. My social meter is reaching its peak."

"Same here. I've been hanging out with Brennen all day and I kinda need some alone time soon. He's been a lot to handle today." Colby chuckled, leaning against the fridge.

"I bet." I replied.

"Oh, I wanted to say I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable when I asked about your break up. It sort of just slipped out." He said, standing upright.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Water under the bridge. Don't worry. The break up was such a long time ago that I don't really think about it. I've had some recent hardships that are little more sensitive."

"I thought you said you only had one boyfriend?" He questioned, squinting his eyes.

I gasped sarcastically. "Have you never heard of unrequited love? It's only one of the most written about subjects in literature, music, ar-"

He cut me off, rolling his eyes and smirking, "Okay, I get it."

"Can I ask you a question?" I pursed my lips, sitting up.

"Sure." He responded.

"How many times have you been in love?" I asked.

He stayed silent for a moment, his shoulders lowering slightly.

"You don't have to say who you were in love with. I understand that's a lot for me to ask." I slid off the counter, standing next to him.

He closed the fridge door, water bottle in hand. "No, it's fine. Um... I've only ever been in love once."

"Was the break up bad?" I whispered, reciting his words.

He smiled, but his eyes dropped, looking down towards the floor. "Yeah. It was pretty bad."

"I'm sorry to hear that." I stated sincerely, stepping closer to him.

He looked into my eyes, "Thanks."

We stayed like that for a moment. Just staring at each other.

"What are you two doing?" Brennen teased, walking into the kitchen.

Colby pulled his eyes away from mine, "Just talking."

Brennen stepped next to him, "You're not trying to steal my girl, right?"

"I'm sorry, in what universe do you think I'm your girl?" I replied, putting my hands on my hips.

"In every universe baby. We're meant to be!" Brennen yelled, pulling Colby towards the garage by his shoulders. Colby laughed, side-eyeing him.

I rolled my eyes and followed in behind them.

/  /  /  /

We all continued hanging out, until the sun started to set. I was starting to get tired, my hours being off before ever leaving Pennsylvania. The jet lag and the craziness of yesterday and today were getting to me and all I could think about was going back to our house and passing out for a bit.

Also, eating my body weight in french fries.

Casey and I started to say our goodbyes to everyone. One of the last people I said goodbye to was Brennen. He smirked as I walked up to him.

"You saved the best for last." He said, opening his arms to me.

I chuckled, "I still have to say goodbye to Colby."

He winced, stepping back, "Trying to get with my best friend? You females are a different breed I'll tell you that."

I turned my head to the side, squinting my eyes, "Just give me a hug before I regret this whole interaction."

He came up close and tightly wrapped his arms around me. He lightly rubbed my back, pulling away a moment later.

"Oh before you do go, can I get your number?" He asked, pulling his phone out.

"Do you honestly think I would give you my number?" I replied, crossing my arms.

He stared at me for a moment, "Yes."

I grabbed his phone and put my contact in. "Now don't use this as a booty call line. I ain't getting out of my bed at one A.M for you, or anybody, for that matter."

"You might want to change the policy when it comes to me. I know how to give you a good time, baby." He smiled, putting his phone back into his pocket.

"I'm good, thanks." I winked.

I started to walk to the kitchen, where Colby was, but I turned back around to Brennen. "By the way, feel free to give that number out to anyone in this house if they ask for it."

"Sure thing, Skye." He called back.

I nodded, heading into the kitchen. Colby was standing in the archway between the kitchen and hallway. He looked up when I walked in, smiling.

"Is this goodbye?" Colby questioned, leaning against the wall.

"I guess so." I mumbled, looking down at the ground.

He slowly started walking me towards the front door, "How long are you and Casey here for?"

"Two weeks. So we have plenty of time to hang. If you want to." I stated nervously.

He laughed, "You think I want to hang out with you?"

I gasped and playfully hit his arm, "Don't be rude to me now."

"I'm just kidding." He put his arms up in defense, smiling.

We both stopped at the door. I could hear Casey coming down the stairs, talking to Corey. I turned towards Colby, opening my arms. He did the same, coming closer to me. I wrapped my arms around him, standing on my tippy toes just to have my chin reach his shoulder. He rested his head lightly against mine. We hugged each other tightly, lightly swaying back and forth.

"Are you ready to go, Skye?" Casey said, walking towards us. Colby and I pulled away.

I nodded my head. She waved goodbye at Colby, going towards the door and opening it. She started walking out. I followed, turning back to Colby, waving at him. He returned the wave.

Casey and I walked to the car and got in. We both sat for a moment, quiet.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" She asked, smirking towards me.

I sighed, "I guess not."

She chuckled and started the car.

 << CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 5 >>

#colby brock #brennen taylor #sam and colby #sam golbach #jake webber #corey scherer #aaron doh #colby brock fanfic #colby brock x oc #colby brock fluff #colby brock fanfiction #colby brock story #colby brock fic #only the lonely survive

[pepperpixel]

ventinggg belowwwww

i fucking.... hate being alive, and yet i’m terrified of dying. so like, what a fucking wonderful existence i lead..... ugHHHHHHHH..

like.... i haven’t had a panic attack for almost half a year now but theres this ever present stress that i feel every day. somedays i can ignore it, and i can almost forget its there and some days i rlly fucking can’t. and i’ve had more thoughts of actual legit cutting myself and ending my life self harm recently then i’ve had in my entire fucking life. (i used to self harm but it was just hitting myself rlly hard. i was too scared to ever cut myself, and i still am. but i still don’t rlly think its great to be thinking about it this often, even if i know i’d never do it)

like... i feel like i should be over this, like i should just be fine. i went to therapy for like, a whole year last year. and i got a lot better from where i was at before. like i stopped self harming and i stopped having panic attacks. and im generally leading a way better life now. one i enjoy a lot more often then i used to. so its rlly fucking hard for me to even admit when im not ok now cuz i feel like i should be fine, and that, by not being fine im letting down everyone who cares about me, and wants me to be ok. and thinks i am ok cuz i don’t fucking talk about my feelings anymore to people. cuz i feel like there’s no reason for me to be feeling them.

cuz like??? shits not even that bad!!! like in my life things are fine! i have an s/o who i love. i have plans to get a drivers licence, and then a bank account. and then i can start selling my art and stuff online. i have friends. i have an idea as to how im going to get a job. and i know im not going to college. but i genuinely think thats the best choice for me personally. looking at everything laid out i don’t think im gonna be a fuck up. but my brain keeps telling me im gonna let everybody down. that im just gonna stay in the house. that im a disappointment. even though i know i won’t be i can’t stop stressing out over my future.

and i can’t even talk to anybody about it because i just keep fucking thinking that im just being whiny, or that i shouldn’t bother others about it. or that like. if i say something to them there gonna think im expecting them to find a way to help me when im not. cuz i know they can’t and i don’t expect that, i just wanna. talk about it. get it off my chest. but im so scared of being a downer or annoying. or of stressing them out with my shit.. 

like.. the only reason im even talking about it here is cuz it feels more like yelling into the void than forcing somebody to pay attention to me, and to listen to my nonsense. like. ur all strangers so its less stressful. im supposed to be ok for the people in my real life tho. im supposed to be over this. its honestly taken me so long to even convince myself i wasn’t ok. i just kept ignoring it. cuz i wasn’t having panic attacks. and i’ve been managing to (sorta) keep up with my hygiene, so i should just be fine! cuz those we’re the big issues and im kind of sort of over them now, so everything should be ok! but its not. and i fucking hate it....

i’ve managed to talk to my grandma about trying to get me with a therapist again. but i don’t think she’s rlly taking it seriously, cuz i sorta downplayed how i was feeling. cuz i don’t want her to think any less of me, and cuz i can’t even rlly make up my own mind on whether or not i even need a therapist again. even tho im obviously not ok. its still just hard to admit it, idk tho man.... i just needed to talk about stuff. and i can’t work up the courage to talk to ppl who actually kno me.. srry for getting all serious out of the blue tho. i kno i haven’t rlly ever talked about stuff like this on here, i just sorta wanted to get it off my chest.

#deppresion.txt #srsly dont look at this if u get stressed out knowing other ppl are upset #just keep scrollin #cuz i do that shit too and it sucks so i don't want anybody else doing it about me #i just needed to vent #i should probably just fucking take a shower or something. those usually help me calm down a little bit #i also rlly don't fucking feel like it but when do i ever. feel like it #ughhhhh #pepper words #pls don't feel any pressure to respond to this im just yelling into the void #may delete later if i end up regretting sharing my entire mental psyche with the internet #we shall see

[loverbabie]

i think i’m going to try this “love” thing again . i’ve been very iffy about it all recently but i don’t want to let one thing effect my whole love life . i kinda feel like i’m not ready also . i have actually a few choices (srry that sounds bad ik) but idk who i really wanna try with . the first guys he’s pretty nice and sweet and crazy he’s my age and i adore him but he lives far away, the second guy she’s so sweet and caring and genuine with me , i love him but the thing is he’s too old for me ,he also lives by me tho, and last guy i knew him very very long time he’s really precious and kind to me but he lives far and is too old . i don’t know what i want rn and i don’t wanna let anyone down but i just need a lil more time . but i feel that i’m getting over this guy and i’m happy about it i like this situation effect many things in my life and i can’t keep doing that to myself .

-her

#vent #rant #venting #love #loving #heart #personal rant #lovelife

[mini-pretzel]

alright dude yea EVERY NUMBER FOR SWEETHEART ASKS

… what have i signed up for?

//cracks knuckles

grab a juice box, grab a snack.

we’ll be here for a while. what have i gotten myself into

1. Talk about your first love. 

oh jesus. i actually recently found my old journal lol

from way back when. 2009 i think? i was 13 or some shit. jesus. ok. so my first love was actually over the internet.

yeah, i know. nowadays we’re spoiled with tinder n shit, but back in 2009, all we had was myspace and msn and i met this fucker on skype.

i was so ahead of my time.

anyway, it was october 25, 2009.

here’s a snippet from my journal entry:

well i met a guy on skype. he’s a month younger cause my b-day is on oct 14 and his is on nov 18. but i don’t mind it.

yoooo i was into younger guys even at 13, jfc hahhaa //kill me jk hmu

and then on the next page hahahhaa omg

december 2, 2009

well me and ___ are no longer together. well we never began. he broke my heart two times already. going in depression. please don’t bother. first love, ha!

omfg damn, two months. yeah, that lasted long. also old me: ur so dramatic lol

also i was a feisty lil fella, jeez.

2. What’s the most beautiful songs you’ve ever heard in your opinion? 

this one

3. How’s your heart feeling right now?

a lil stressed. im like, hoping i can get through all of these questions without my computer crashing. pray 4 me.

4. What kind of self care is your favorite to do? 

ok, first thing to note, i fucking love self care. like, too much if im honest.

baths with bubbles and nice smelling scents, lotions, a face mask, taking my time with washing my face and hair and putting on the cutest clothes after. also snacks, always snacks.

when im feeling like spending money: massage. full body. best thing ever. i treat myself to it at least once a year for my b-day.

5. What’s your skincare routine? 

ok so i just got a new skincare line. it’s from nature republic. i have a cleanser, a toner and a moisturizer. it’s fairly simple (unlike 9 steps in korean ahhahha, but like i’ll probably get there in time) also i have a peel mask that smells like bananas that i put on twice a week to get rid of dead skin cells. oh and sometimes i do korean face masks, too.

6. How did you get to be so beautiful?

answered that q here

7. Do you have any stuffed animals?

NO! //hides them all away

8. Best trip you’ve ever been on?

thailand. my parents took me w/ them on their honeymoon.

lol idek why either. trust me.

i was just there for the swimming, riding elephants, getting food poisoning and downing two banana splits in one afternoon. good times.

9. Favorite thing about your room? 

i live in a jungle. but also in an art gallery cause my mom buys paintings online and resells them, but it’s become such a habit for her they are literally EVERYWHEREE I CANNOT.

also sorry mom i keep forgetting to water the GAZILLION plants THAT YOU HAVE MOVED INTO MY ROOM FOR SOME REASON. they’ll be dead by the time ur home. srry ilyyyyy.

also tae hmu if u want some paintings. i got way too many.

10. Opinion on love? 

dude. idk. i mean. it’s definitely not something one can describe easily or fully grasp.

im still waiting for my big love to come along, so like, we can talk about that when we get there.

otherwise, i’ll say this quote that i heard in a song:

give your heart, but keep your head.

11. Are you affectionate? 

with certain people. im weird.

with some people im like no, don’t touch me pls. i bite and scratch.

and with others you cannot get them out of my death love grip.

12. Who do you look up to? 

i look up to bts a lot. they’re doing a lot of good and they’re very respectable artists.

but i also look up to a lot of writers on here because i want to create worlds and writings like them. i won’t tag them cause rip them trying to find why i tagged them in this long ass post haha.

13. Favorite poet? 

@psycho-slytherin

lol sorry bae

ur gonna have to scroll to find out why i tagged u. and then go red and yell at me. hahah.

i also like silentium! by Fyodor Tyutchev

also everything by pushkin (esp ‘i loved you’ fuck that one gets me every time). seriously. that man isn’t called the golden poet in our country for nothing.

i actually don’t read a lot of poetry nowadays unless its my own or my friends’

but im open to recommendations

14. Song that makes you happy? How about one that calms you down when you’re in a bad place?

answered here!

15. Do you play an instrument?

lol no. i was almost taught the piano (lol rip me, i wanna kill my younger lazy ass self) and i dabbled into learning the violin. but that’s like a whole story and a half hahahaha.

16. Do you do art? Using what (pencil, watercolor, etc)?

i used to pencil draw, nothing special tho. a lot of naked ppl lol. butts n boobs were my fave. also pecks whoo.

17. Do you dance? What style of dance? 

i don’t! but i want to. i’ve been looking into dancing schools. i might do hip hop n stuff. see if i have the rhythm, i can’t tell from just jumping around my room lol

18. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in astrology? 

im a libra yo. diplomatic and indecisive af.

i kinda do? there’s some sense there, but it’s too vague. i think ppl need to look into their charts to really grasp their character.

and for some it may not be true at all, so like. idk. we’re all just doing our best here.

19. Favorite old film? 

a russian film that i always watch over the new year. my mom would always joke that the new year doesn’t start till we watch it lol

the irony of fate

20. What’s your hairstyle? 

idk

u

tell

me

21. What weather is the most beautiful, in your opinion?

cloudy but warm. so there’s not too much sun but u can enjoy a nice walk outside without getting rained on.

22. What upsets you most about the world? 

i only have two hands but there are so many cats and dogs. i cannot pet all of them.

23. Are you in love right now?

answered ;)

24. Do you have a crush? If so, talk about them!

here u go

25. Do you have pets? Talk about something sweet about them! 

i don’t! but i wish i did i would shower them with my love.

but @the-trth-untold dogs are the cutest and @psycho-slytherin cats make my day. pls spam meeeee. also i love @paristae cat too.

26. Do you have a lucky number? 

yup. 22.

27. Have you ever wished on a star? What about on a fallen eyelash? 

i’ve never seen a fallen star, so no.

but i’ve wished on a fallen eyelash, always.

28. Do you believe emoji spells to work? 

emoji spells??

bruh i’ve never even heard of it till this ask wtf is that shit

bruh i mean if it works for ppl all power to them??? idk i never tried it

29. Do you believe in magic in general? 

i believe in magic tricks. but magic died for me when santa stopped existing.

30. What’s the most beautiful thing in life, In your opinion?

here

31. Opinion on the color pink? What about baby blue? 

gorgeous colors. i quite like mauve pink and deep dark blue tho.

but baby blue looks amazing on some folks. oof.

32. What instrumental sound is your favorite? 

piano. always.

33. Do you like the sound of wind? What about the sound of rain? 

answered :)

34. Who makes you happy? 

bts and all of my mutuals

35. What makes you happy? 

sleep, food, music, writing, cuddles. and forehead kisses.

also more listed here

36. Imagine your ideal life, the life you wish to make, what will that look like? 

i live in a nice apartment. doesn’t have to be expensive, just nice and clean with wooden floors and spacious windows.

i have all the necessities that i need and im never lonely.

i have also touched countless hearts by my books and am able to live comfortably just from my works.

haha. you said ideal, right?

also have someone to spend it with. someone i’d write poetry about daily. a bestfriend first and foremost before a lover.

37. Do you wear makeup? If so what’s your favorite type of makeup or specific makeup product? Favorite store to buy makeup?

answered this fella here

38. Do you wear dresses? If so what’s your favorite dress you own? 

i used to have dresses. but not anymore.

i liked the long sleeve sweater black one i had with a low cut. it was gorgeous. i dont have much of boobage but i always felt like i was sexy in it.

39. Ever been heartbroken? How do you deal with it? 

yep. you just kind of take it one day at a time. some days will be better than the last. some days you’ll cry a little harder and some days you move on a little further. it takes time. make sure you have good people around you so you don’t fall into depression.

40. Who’s your closest friend? What do you love about them? 

ah, to be honest i don’t have a closest friend. i’ve always been the kind of person that always had friends around her but never anyone too deep. and i kinda wish i did. i just don’t know who would come to fill that spot. people always leave, so i kind of gave up assigning that spot. i think the people that want to be in that spot will show themselves and tell me. otherwise i will not assume or assign.

41. Introvert or extrovert? 

introvert. but i have my moments. i can be charming and friendly when i want to.

42. Do you like MBTI? What’s your MBTI? 

i had to look it up cause i forgot what it was lol

i took the test a while back: im infp.

there’s not a lot of us, apparently. which is cool. shout out to all infps out there!

43. Would you be a fairy, a mermaid, a vampire, a siren, or an angel? 

hmmm. what kind of fairy tho? lol

maybe vampire? idk i’d be a sexy immortal lady that’d bite innocent boys and girls that just want to have a good time lol

44. What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you? 

this oneee

45. Parlez-vous français? 

no~

46. Most beautiful place you’ve been to? 

butchart gardens

47. Where/when do you truly feel at home? 

here

48. Does smiling put you in a better mood? Try it right now, you’re smile is gorgeous! 

kdjfalkfjdlkdsaf //hides

this ask is flirting with me…

well that’s as much action as im going to get this new years eve lol

49. Favorite shoe you own?

my sweet rose gold kicks, yo.

50. Can you walk in stilettos? Do you like them? 

lol no. i cannot. and i do not. im not made for heels. im tall enough as it is.

51. Do you feel loved? 

every time i talk to my mutuals yes //cry

52. How do you express love to those you care about? 

by saying cute words and by clinging to them like a koala.

53. Favorite term(s) of endearment? 

sweetheart, dear, idk im just like anything honestly. love, baby. go crazy.

i also love mean terms like idiot and stuff. or nicknames that hold inside jokes, something between the two of you only.

54. Most romantic thing someone’s ever done for you? 

hasn’t happened yet. so yeah. any takers? lol

55. When is the happiest you’ve ever been? 

reading a good book for the first time. or just experiencing something new that i end up loving for the first time. nothing can replace that first feeling.

56. Are you happy right now? 

happy im almost done hahhahahahaa. ha.

no but srsly i am

57. What makes you smile? 

stupid jokes. puns. someone laughing and showing themselves fully.

58. Do you laugh a lot? 

i mean. i think so? i try. i make jokes a lot and laugh at myself if that counts?

59. What’s your favorite kind of aesthetic? 

ughhhh comfy bf aestheticcc

60. Do you want to marry for love or for some other reason (like money)? 

i have a sour view on marriage. so only if i love someone hard enough. but even then i don’t know if i’ll do it. it hurts too much to think about marriage and wedding rings for me.

61. What would your dream wedding look like? Do you want to get married? 

see above.

62. Favorite flower?

orchid.

63. Favorite artist?

claude monet.

64. Favorite music artist?

bts lol

no surprises there.

65. How kind do you think you are? Is kindness important to you? 

its not something for me to decide. i try to be kind to everyone, but how it is interpreted is different for everyone. i’d like to think i’m kind.

and yes, very important. especially being kind to yourself.

66. Ever made a playlist for someone? 

yes i have. i love making playlists for people. i don’t get asked that enough.

67. Do you have anything you do to physically comfort you when your sad? Such as a favorite blanket? Or a relaxing bath? 

music. music always helps. and tea.

ideally i’d love for someone to massage my scalp, but hahah no one’s been able to do it the right way. when it’s done right i melt and forget about everything.

68. Early bird or night owl? 

night owl.

moonchild, lol

69. Morning routine? 

wake up, look in the mirror, look away from the mirror, go back to bed.

70. Night routine? 

SHOWER N NICE SMELLING LOTIONS. AND SKINCAREEEEEE OOOOF.

also fresh sheets.

71. What is the most lovely quality a person could have in your opinion? 

answered here

72. Do you cry often? Does crying help you get the emotions out? Do you feel better after? 

i only cry when i watch or read something. and it does help. i always feel better after. but i tend to keep my emotions hidden away, the negative ones at least.

73. Do you like hugs? 

i love hugs. come hug me, bro.

u must smell nice tho.

74. When was the last time you kissed someone?

august.

75. Are you small or tall? 

tall. 175cm.

76. Do you like wholesome memes? 

answered

77. Favorite thing about the past? 

cd players. chia pet commercials. flip phones. mom jeans.

78. Do you ever wonder about the future? 

all the time. esp mine. i have no idea what the fuck im doing.

79. Have you ever lived in a different country than you currently live in? 

yep. i’ve lived in america and canada before. and traveled a lot.

80. Do you like plane flights? Airports? 

i don’t mind flying. and depends on the airport. some are better than others.

81. Sunrises or sunsets? 

sunrises. every day is a new day~

82. The beach or a forest? 

bitch- i mean beach. :)

83. What time of day do you tend to be in the best mood? 

any time i am eating. or sleeping. or reading.

im so close to being done omg. this is fun tho.

84. Do you push yourself to act together and in a good mood even when you aren’t? 

always. ain’t nobody gonna deal with that baggage lol

85. Favorite kind of tree? 

japanese maple tree

86. Do you care about the health of the Earth? 

i mean i don’t even care about my health that much tbh, i need to work on that.

87. What did you like most about your childhood, if anything? 

that i got to travel and learned english very young.

88. Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book? 

answered here

89. What are you most nostalgic for at the moment? 

old school disney

90. What’s your favorite personality trait you have? 

answered this bad boi here

91. List at least ONE thing you love about your appearance. 

eyes. have to work on my ass tho. squats baby.

92. When was the last time you truly felt calm, without much of anything to worry about? 

after a massage.

93. Do you worry a lot? 

eh, i worry enough, i suppose. there’s just some stuff you can’t control.

94. The dazzling lights of the city or the relaxing countryside?

dazzling lights of the city. especially in the evening. and in the winter. ahhhhh. someone hold my hand and walk with meeeeee.

95. Ever changed the shoelaces on one of your shoes? For what reason? 

no i haven’t had that pleasure, lol

maybe next year

96. Favorite pastry? 

BUTTER. CROISSANT.

97. Do you like doing little acts of kindness? 

yes. uwu

98. How’s your day/night going? 

well im finally done with this ask holy shit, and i need to resume writing my namjoon fic so… fantastic. i also have noodles. whoooo.

thank you for reading this whole damn mess of an ask.

ily

#ask #asks #the-trth-untold #klsfjflksa #omg i can't believe i did all of that #holy shit #lkdsjflkda #about #seriously