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inkskinned · 8 months

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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''

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yashley · 5 months

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#critical role #cr lb #ygifs #imogen #and now I'm like did imogen have her own reason for not even going near the raven queen did she pray to her for her mother #thinking her mother was dead was gone and the goddess of death had her and it was just a little girl praying at her bedside #take care of her mother. tell her how much she misses her. she misses her so much. and the raven queen never answered #and she could find no comfort not even in a deity who brought eternal rest there was no solace. and there was no correction #did she pick a god and pray? for her mother to come back. for her father not to hate her. for someone to look at her like shes not a monste #that all this time this certified atheist to have zero interest in the gods or helping them not because she genuinely didn't care #but because once upon a time the little girl she used to be cared so much. and prayed so hard. never seeing the red veil around her #damning her from the grace of the gods #and isn't that just what a monster deserves #not even a gracious god will find you special enough you feel like nothing to them because you are nothing to them #and it's like is that true or is such an evil force preventing their light and it's like I'm chewing but I'm choking #I had to stop looking at laura's face because it was making me too craaazzzyy she'd just be like (bafta) and I'd be like (SCREAMING)#hey matt if this is a birdcall to make imogen a paladin tweet tweet beautiful man

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lambmotifz · 27 days

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sam is canonically dean’s wife and yet there are still people who think they are normal brothers

#they’re compared to married couples throughout the whole show yeah it’s totally normal and not intentional at all #the amount of times i had to see ppl trying so hard to prove that samdean are normal siblings #while claiming that d*stiel is 100% romantic #the fandom hates sam for being a woman AND for being what cas could never be (dean’s soulmate & true love)#anyways #kripke was so big brained and insane for this i never stop thinking about it #wincest #samdean #sam winchester #dean winchester #spn

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quietwingsinthesky · 15 days

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i really do think the desire to paint ten as unambiguously The Worst™️ when it comes to his relationship with martha is out of this desire to uncomplicate their relationship. to decouple them as friends and people who profoundly impacted each other’s lives. it’s just an easier narrative to swallow: that ten was Awful to her and then martha kicked him to the curb when she realized she was too good for him. easier, maybe, then dealing with the troubles of unrequited affection don’t have to be anyone’s fault, or that ten shut martha out in a lot of ways but let her in in others that he wouldn’t let any other companion near, or that they were still friends, they still wanted to see each other and be around each other, even though it was messy and sometimes hurt. you know?

#sometimes the doctor is shitty. this is not news we know this. this is part of the package. its what makes their relationships with their #companions so interesting so important.#like. how do i put this. i see posts sometimes about how ten was ‘leading martha on’ implying that he was taking advantage of her feelings #to keep her around. and. okay. so. putting aside how that’s a weird thing to say about anyone period.#its also just. from my viewing experience. not true?#the doctor is just sort of Like That. he’s too intense he’s too quick to grasp for emotional intimacy he’s too messy.#but he’s not leading her on. he really is just Like That.#like i feel by getting caught up in the fact that martha is hurt by being compared to rose and is hurt by the fact that the doctor can’t or #won’t return her feelings. and like. yeah. of course that hurts.#but in being caught up in that. i think what im saying is that it feels like people sometimes forget that he’s. not required to do that.#like just because she has feelings for him doesn’t mean he needs to get over himself and return them or else he’s using her. that’s. that’s #not how relationships work. people can have romantic feelings and still be friends and not have anything come of it and that’s not a #terrible outcome. thats just how friendships are sometimes.#thats the core of it to me. they’re friends. the way people post about ten & martha sometimes i wonder if everyone’s forgotten that they #are friends. that they last parted as friends. that martha doesn’t hate him or secretely resent him for how he treated her.#like. she’s got complicated feelings about the whole thing. but they didn’t stop being friends.#i tell you what: if the doctor was in trouble and called for help. you could be damn certain that martha jones would be one of the first #people to answer. that’s what i know.#doctor who #the doctor #tenth doctor #martha jones

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frmulcahy · 1 year

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Idk what kind of crack they were putting in 90s period dramas but it’s just Not The Same Anymore

#the warm haziness 🤌#stop making movies dark and cold and sharp I hate it here #little women 1994 #the secret of roan inish #the little princess 1995 #fairytale a true story #the secret garden 1993 #newsies 1992 #ever after: a cinderella story #wilde 1997 #the golden age of period dramas #for r e a l #period piece #films #movies

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muckyschmuck · 6 months

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third leg so long it doesnt even fit the drawing ... wow ...

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itsdefinitely · 2 months

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do you think boy jerry contemplates clawing his eyes out sometimes

#definite's ted talks #for an christian man he sure has a lot of catholic guilt #and just like this i can connect him to every lord in black #pokey - campfire songs (virginity rocks). need for control #blinky - see no evil #nibbly - self-explanatory #tinky - knows both spankoffski brothers. uses funny little games to cope & hates it when something doesnt go his way (applies to pokey too)#wiggly - wants his wrath #boy jerry #nightmare time 2 #abstinence camp #hatchetfield #i love using the phrase 'hate the sin love the sinner'#and i will continue to use it until it stops being true #guys nmt3 boy jerry episode... trust me. would i ever lie to you

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cyellolemon · 13 days

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Myel and the most normal of his boyfriends <33

#sadly true which should really worries Myel. sweetie that tall pink hair guy you got there is FUCKED UP!!#but i can't stop drawing super cute and cheesy art of them uurhg </333 i need them to explode #his name is Stellan btw.. one of my fav ocs rn but i think i barely posted him 3-4 times #Myel smiled at him once and he hates himself so badly it was enough for him to fall in love #my art #oc art #digital art #oc artist #Myel #Stellan #mlm art

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vivelareine · 9 months

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My (finished sometime in the future) book on Marie Antoinette in pop culture/media/public consciousness is going to have a section on the infantalization of Marie Antoinette into a perpetual teenager that presents her as being in this Poor Girlhood stasis while ignoring her adulthood and especially her last few years, all while presenting an inflated version of life at Versailles in order to forward this narrative more strongly, and said chapter is gonna be hot.

#people who cling to the coppola aesthetic narrative will not be happy #like anyone who follows this blog knows I love MA but please stop pretending she was forever a teenage dauphine #one of the reasons courtiers hated her is because she was allowed to change etiquette as queen #she got irritated with Maximilien & Joseph II for not following etiquette they visited. It's not that she expected all etiquette to be gone #It's that she expected or rather wanted to live like a queen might live in other countries in Europe #respected but not suffocated #not bound by 'this person is rank B.6 so they get to talk before this b.9 person but oh wait an A.3 came in now THEY get to...' etc #a lot of people with this attitude also share the 'anything they read about versailles being wacky is true' belief which is just odd #like can we use common sense sometimes PLEASE

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claireclaymore · 6 months

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"Katniss did so little for Peeta"

What the hell!!!

She wanted die for him! Kill for him! Accepted be the Mockingjay to save him!

When he came back brainwashed and hating her, the girl was literally suicidal! And when he got better, a single conversation with him made her get out of her depressive state and start living again!

How this is little?!!!

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infiniteorangethethird · 5 months

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fav kind of interaction is when a neurotypical comes up to me with "omg we are SO similar we're practically same" and then prove their point by listing off traits I only possess as a part of my masking

#'ur so kind and empathetic and social and smart and-'#yeah ik how to make ppl believe im not worth their bullying #but hey thanks for complimenting my mask #i erase my true self w this one just for you #and then they get offended when i try to tell them that im not actually like that lmao #either bc 'stop being so demeaning to urself' (bc being low/no empathy #and asocial is undesirable to them)#or bc they take my attempt at fitting in to a society that hates me by proxy of existing #as a personal attack on them #autistic #autism #actually autistic #adhd #actually adhd #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #masking #autistic masking #adhd masking

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inkskinned · 2 years

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i turn 29 on july 1st. i feel like i make a lot of these notes to myself, to check in. hi, me, here's what's happening.

hi, me. hi, you, too, if you keep reading. here's some rules i have been following:

when a book is bad, i put the book down. i choose something i like instead. when i don't like a movie, i don't make myself watch until the end. i care less and less what people think about me and focus more on being a good friend.

for the 6 months or so, i've been asking people what they think should be my next book or tv show. i ask them where i should go on a walk next week. i ask them what food i should try next, what hobby. and then i write it down in front of them.

the truth is some stuff slips through the cracks. but most of the time? within two weeks, i get to send my favorite kind of text - so i tried the thing you were talking about and !

i have a new policy for split-second choices - it's better to try it. i have social anxiety. i have to talk myself into doing many things. i am constantly battling the desire to run away as far as my feet will take me. and then i stand up and i do the thing anyway. i make myself act and dance and sing. sometimes, yes, i know-immediately never again, i hate this. but most of the time - i just have fun with it.

i have a new mantra - nobody is scorekeeping. at the end of my life, there will be no grand reading of how many calories i'd been eating. no reviews on how many boring documentaries i forced myself through, no calculation on how many hours i endured an extremely dull educational podcast. and so what if i try karaoke and i don't actually nail it? so what if i stumble over my words while trying to make a public announcement? so what if i wear something too-showy to go to the grocery store? nobody there knows me, and: nobody's keeping score.

life doesn't resolve with a grade (i know, i was as shocked as everyone else when i realized it). i am not falling behind, because there's no curriculum to life that i should be following. there are no checkpoints; nobody is making sure i have a fully-furnished life resume. i am just here for as long as the earth will have me, and i get to decide what makes me happy.

i don't have a partner or a house or anything that is supposed to belong to people-my-age. i spend most of my time focusing on being kind, compassionate, ready to listen without restraint.

and honestly? i feel good. like actually. i kind of like it this way.

#the really ironic thing #is that the less i care what people think of me #the more friends i have #the more i get along with people easily #19 year old me would kill me for saying this bc she HATED when people said ''stop trying''#but it was that i wasn't trying to be their friend #i was trying NOT to be ME #i went from being like ''i think im too different for people to ever like me''#to a decade later being like #'' ah i'll be okay i get along with pretty much everyone ''#it was true about food too #i wasn't kind to my body and thought it could make me look a certain way #if i was pretty it would make up for the way i was internally very ugly #but im now in probably the best shape of my life #and i have pretty much kicked my eating disorder to the curb (goodbye die in a hole)#bc i spend SO much more time seeing the chance to work out as a FUN THING #bc i don't make myself ''follow the rules'' of working out -- i dance or jog or whatever my body wants to do instead #do you know how weird it is #to go from being a COMPLETELY alone kid like NOBODY will talk to you bc you're a social pariah #like bullied ALL THE TIME bc ur stupid and flighty and strange and too loud etc #to being like the exact same person but now people are like ..... ''ur smart and funny and charming and happy-go-lucky''#some of this does have to deal with the fact i got therapy and medication #and started being a better person and actually focusing on myself and the ways that i could improve #im gentler now. i don't crave attention in the same way. i don't mind things that used to destroy me #it DOES help that i finally got diagnosed with ADHD #anyway feelin things bc it's been 5 years of recovery <3

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allwomenjointhe4bmovement · 22 days

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Let this be a reminder that even the men who seem nice and say they believe in equality and kindness ARE STILL SECRETLY MISOGYNISTIC!

#men #it is all men #stop saying not all men #4b movement #4b #women #stop trusting men #i hate men #misogynists #patriarchy #comments #the true nature of men #men hate women #misandrist #misandry is not real #misandry doesn't exist #misandry #men suck #men are evil

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glimblshanks · 7 months

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Everyone is entitled to their own media interpretations of course, but sometimes I see an analysis post from an Izzy hater and I am truly like "did we even watch the same show?"

#ofmd s2 spoilers #izzy hands #'I'm glad Stede still hates Izzy in season 2!'#girl he literally saved Izzy's life immediately after finding out he had killed the man they are both in love with #Izzy gave Stede a direct opportunity to yell and scream at him while he was in the jail cell #and Stede did not take it #like WHAT are you talking about?#No I don't think Izzy and Stede are 100% cool with each other at this point #but they clearly don't hate each other in the same way they did during s1 either #like can you please stop painting Stede as the One True Victim long enough to actually engage with the text of the show?

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jerkimedes · 15 days

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I hope the people who say "the kosa Bill is not going to pass" feel ashamed because literally the kosa Bill is winning and you guys are doing nothing.

#im so mad rn #im sorry but this true #yall doing nothing and I hate it #stop kosa #fuck kosa #kosa bad #kosa bill #kosa #important #kosa lies #bad internet bills #free palestine #palestines

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sadandhornywhore · 28 days

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Library

The lines of the article in front of her kept blurring, and she was finding it increasingly harder to stop her attention from drifting someplace else. Even though the bar was scarce, there was still a low buzz surrounding her from the few people who did find themselves in this place, seemingly forgotten by everyone and anyone. She knew she didn‘t belong in a place like this; she probably stood out like a sore thumb. She couldn‘t find it in her to care; the libraries were all full, and more importantly, full of people she may know, people that would surely take her prisoner of their small talk about how it‘s going and what is new. Even a place too shitty to be called a dive bar was a better choice than that. And the girl thought the place had its own charm anyway; it may have been dark, old, lonely, and not too clean, but she found it kept her interested. Even though the thing that should have held her focus was on the table in front of her, forgotten. She tried to entertain the thought of trying to read it again, but after only a few words, her eyes were moving towards the bar, or the barkeep; she wasn‘t sure. She didn‘t blame herself for it, couldn‘t, really. Watching water boil would have stolen her attention from her work, and the man behind the bar was far more captivating than that. She was trying to be subtle about her observation, only taking peeks at him when she thought he couldn‘t notice. She thought it would be the most embarrassing thing if he caught her, some little girl, coming into kind of a hole-in-the-wall bar to supposedly study, even though the dim lights made it hard to even make out the words in front of her, and gawking and drooling about the barkeep, who must have had at least twenty years on her instead. But she couldn‘t help herself. She didn‘t know if it was him or if she would have given her attention to any man there at that time (she liked to think she wasn‘t that desperate, and the man‘s enigmatic energy was what drew her in). She debated if she should just leave, go to her car waiting for her in the vacant parking lot out front, get home, and ponder about the man in her shower tonight. She suspected she might do more than just ponder. Subconsciously, the young woman started fixing her hair and dress, and before she knew it, she was standing up and approaching the bar. When his attention turned her way, she realized she didn‘t plan this far ahead and was struggling to come up with something, anything, to say. She kept her eyes on his fingers, pinching a cigarette that was about to burn out, but she still felt his gaze on her face and, simultaneously, felt her cheeks burning up. God, she must have looked like a complete moron. She felt like the bar was turning red, her cheeks overshining whatever lighting there was in the first place. She should have just said she wanted a drink, a whiskey, whatever, but his stare had her throat closing up, and god, she didn‘t expect to react to him in THIS embarrassing of a way. She could see him putting his cigarette out and inching closer. Finally, she was able to lift her gaze up and meet his, and felt the wind being knocked out of her lungs again as she was met by the stare of his blue eyes, so distant but so inviting all at once. She was about to open her mouth, at last, muster whatever it was she was capable of coming up with, and bolt through the door as soon after that as was humanly possible. And then she heard his voice, low, slow, and deep: „It never occurred to me that this place resembles a library to some.“

#rust cohle #true detective #true detective season 1 #rust cohle x reader #rust cohle x ofc #rust cohle imagine #drabble #i did a thing #never done this before #pls dont hate me #this man makes me feral and i couldnt stop myself

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