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mind-empty-just-fictional-people · 1 year

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photographs (part 2)

part one (definitely not “required” to read first part before this one, but it makes more sense to read part one, then this part)

masterlist

summary: when dean disappears after killing dick, you’re glad you took so many photos.

paring: dean winchester x female reader

rating: R for language

word count: 3.0k

warnings: dean is (temporarily) dead, memories/photos with - implied sex/nudity, lots of fluff cloaked in angst cause dean’s dead

author’s note: inspired by a comment i received on part one (quick explanation here).

dean was dead. again. your heart ached. well, everything ached. your head ached cause you hadn’t slept in days, your stomach ached cause you hadn’t fed it anything but caffeinated drinks and whiskey for days, and, above all, your shattered heart made your chest physically ache. everything in you was telling you to sit down, eat a meal, and get some sleep; but you couldn’t, you wouldn’t. all that mattered to you now was getting dean back.

the days after losing him you stole a car (sam took the impala, which you were fine with) and drove for hours, stopping at different storage lockers to gather up the usb sticks with all the photos and videos you had taken on the cameras since dean went to hell. the physical photo albums had burned up at bobby’s place so you thanked your lucky stars you had been paranoid enough to make copies and leave them in separate places.

there were a lot of videos, and even more photos. god, were you glad you had shoved the stuipid camera in dean’s face and that he had willingly taken it from you to snap pictures of his own.

you sat in the dingy motel room; your laptop on the table in front of you and a bottle of whiskey beside you. you didn’t even really ever like whiskey, not until you fell in love with dean. he often tasted like whiskey when you’d kiss him so now the bitter (and, in this instance, cheap) drink reminded you of him.

tears filled your eyes as you clicked through the photos. you let out quiet sobs between sips of whiskey until you got to the first video on the usb you were going through.

“y/n, get your gorgeous ass out here,” dean exclaimed from behind the camera.

“give me another minute!” you called back. dean sighed dramatically and turned the camera around.

“y/n and i are on a case and we’re pretty sure the vamps are gonna be at this fancy party in town,” he explained. he leaned closer to the camera and whispered, “i honestly have no idea if they’re gonna be there but y/n suggested it and she looks smoking hot in-”

“okay i’m ready,” you stepped out of the bathroom. dean’s face lit up then he turned the camera around.

“wow, wow, wow,” he walked up to you. “you look incredible, sweetheart” he took your face in his hand and kissed you, angling the camera so it captured the moment.

“you don’t look too bad yourself,” you smiled up at him and ran your fingers over his tie. you gripped it and pulled him down for another kiss.

“mmh,” he hummed through his smile as he kissed you back. “you know this dress would definitely look better on the floor,” he whispered.

“oh and it definitely will be on the floor the second we get back here,” you replied. “c’mon,” you stepped away from him and grabbed your purse, “let’s go kill some vampires!”

you smiled to yourself. as much as you missed him, you couldn’t help the happy feeling bubbling up as you remembered what it was like to be held by him.

“put the damn camera down and kiss me already!” dean huffed dramatically.

“you’re so cute right now, though!” you giggled, snapping another picture.

“i look the same as i did yesterday, honey!”

“exactly!” you put the camera down and he kissed you. “you always look so perfect,” you whispered.

“have you seen you?!” he teased.

you reached your hands up so you could mess with his hair. your expression changed.

“oh god,” you practically gagged.

“what’s wrong?”

“there’s definitely ghoul brains in your hair still,” you retracted your hands. “get in the shower,” you laughed, pushing him toward the motel bathroom.

“only if you come with me,” he smirked.

your phone rang and you furrowed your brows as you answered; “garth?”

“hey, are you still in wichita? i’ve got a hunter friend over there who needs some help and i’m at least two days away.”

“yeah, i am garth, but-”

“please, y/n? i don’t know that many hunters and i’m kinda worried about her,” he asked, you could hear the desperation in his voice which was very out of character for him.

“of course, garth. send me the details and i’ll get in contact with her,” you smiled. dean would want me to help, you thought to yourself.

“thanks.”

you tiptoed over to where dean was half asleep.

“dean honey, wake up,” you whispered while stroking his messy hair. “breakfast is ready.”

“you’re too good to me sweetheart, he smiled and sat up; giving your cheek a kiss.

“happy birthday, dean,” you handed him the plate of freshly cooked bacon and a slice of pie. he sat up and began eating it, you sat down on the edge of the bed.

“this is perfect honey, thank you,” he smiled like a kid on christmas. “c’mere,” he pulled you into a quick kiss, you could taste the bacon grease still on his lips and you’ve gotta admit, you’re a damn good cook.

“i got you a present, too,” you giggled a little and stood up to get it off the counter. “well, two actually - one’s kind of a gag gift and one’s a real gift.”

he set the plate down on the bedside table and took the gift-wrapped boxes from you. he opened the smaller one first.

“hell yeah,” he laughed, holding up the gift. “condoms! we are definitely using these right away!”

“yeah, thought you’d appreciate those,” you teased.

he opened the next one; “a mini pie maker?”

“yeah, i figured it’d be handy to have-” he cut you off by kissing you and holding your face in his hands.

“god, i fucking love you,” he said between kisses. “you are the sweetest,” he kissed you again, “most beautiful,” and again, “most perfect woman in the universe.” you laughed, trying to catch your breath.

“i love you too,” you said.

“wanna use those condoms now?” he wiggled his brows suggestively.

“eat your breakfast first, before the bacon gets cold. i asked sam to text me when he’s ten minutes away so we’ve got plenty of time.” you gave him a kiss on the forehead and stood up. you took the pie maker and put it on the counter as dean finished his breakfast. “smile, birthday boy!” you snapped a couple pictures.

“hey you alright?” janet (garth’s hunter friend) asked from the passenger seat of your car.

“yeah, just.. it’s nothing,” you shook your head with a smile and flipped the visor back up so you couldn’t see the pictures of dean. “i lost someone a week ago. it’s still pretty raw.”

“i’m sorry,” she smiled sadly. “what was his name?” she asked; she had seen you looking at the pictures.

“uh, dean,” you replied. “dean winchester.”

“the dean win- sorry-” she caught herself. “uh, what was he like?”

“the best,” you whispered. “he was the sweetest man. he was so good to me and i- i just love him so much and- and i miss him like crazy.” you wiped your tears away quickly. “sorry, here i am spilling my guts when i just met you.”

“hey it’s thanks to you i didn’t literally spill my guts back there, if you wanna talk i’m here for you.”

“garth! got another case for me?” you asked through the phone. it had been six months since you lost dean and you never stopped hunting. you truly believed if you stopped you’d go crazy alone with your thoughts.

“yep, four bodies missing their hearts a few miles from where you are,” he replied. “you doing okay?”

“yep i’m great,” you lied.

“i know your lying, but you know i’m here if you need to talk, right?”

“yeah, i know garth, thank you,” you replied. “send me the details for the case please.” you hung up.

“c’mon take the picture already, i’m starving!” dean grumbled. you had made dinner for the brothers and bobby and it looked delicious.

“cheese!” you said and snapped a few pictures of the three of them at the table. “okay, let’s eat!” you sat down next to dean; across from sam, who sat to the left of bobby.

“why do people say ‘cheese’ when they take a picture?” dean wondered out loud.

“maybe cause people like cheese?” you shrugged and put some steak next to the baked potato on your plate.

“well then what about lactose intolerant people?” sam chipped in.

“good point; maybe it’s a guys name? like the first person to take a picture? maybe their last name was cheese,” you suggested.

“oh, that actually makes sense,” dean nodded.

“are you idjits really having this conversation?” bobby exclaimed. “saying ‘cheese’ has nothing to do with actual cheese, or some photographer; it’s just that saying the word ‘cheese’ forces you to smile!” he shook his head as you and the brothers nodded.

“then why not say ‘freeze’?” you continued, at this point just teasing bobby.

“or ‘please’?” dean added.

“or-” sam started but bobby cut him off.

“just shut up and eat,” he rolled his eyes and couldn’t help but laugh a little.

you turned off your phone, not wanting to stare at the lockscreen any longer.

nine months. nine whole months. dean was still dead. hunting wasn’t the same anymore, it didn’t distract you at all. you’d be mid-kill and all the monster had to do was mutter dean’s name for you to freeze up. lucky for you, garth always made sure there was another hunter on any case he told you about; so, they would end up killing the monster before it killed you.

you sat alone at the bar, the other hunter you had just finished a case with was already on his way to another case across the state. but you had decided you needed to take a break from hunting and find another distraction.

that’s when you saw him; a man three stools down from you, wearing a red flannel almost identical to dean’s. his hair was the same color as dean’s, and when he turned to smile at you, you were met with piercing green eyes. your heart leapt to your throat. he didn’t really look at all like dean, but he had many similar feature - wispy lashes, freckles, and bow legs which you noticed as he walked up to you.

“evening pretty lady,” he smiled and leaned on the counter next to you. “that sounded much better in my head,” he laughed, which caused you to do the same.

“sounded okay,” you replied. “i’m y/n.”

“don,” he replied, you practically spat out your drink. “noticed you checking me out earlier.”

“maybe i was,” you bit your bottom lip a little. “why, you interested?”

“oh yeah,” he nodded, not letting his cocky smile leave his lips.

you brought him closer by gripping the collar of his flannel. you kissed him and he wrapped his arms around your waist, the taste of whiskey hitting your tongue. but something felt off, you felt guilty. you figured you had good reason to be; you only felt somewhat attracted to the guy and what little attraction there was, was only because he reminded you of dean. your perfect dean. the only man you ever loved. the only man you ever really had eyes for. the man that was stuck in purgatory right now (crowley had told you after you summoned him) while you were making out with a stranger.

“actually,” you pulled away. “sorry, i don’t wanna do this,” you smiled awkwardly and pushed the man away.

“oh c’mon, baby, it’s no big deal,” he shook his head and went in for another kiss. you pushed him away again, harder this time so he was now a few feet away from where you sat.

“sorry,” you stood up. “goodnight,” you smiled again and began to walk away.

“don’t be a tease,” he laughed and pulled your arm. you turned around and smirked a little.

“let go,” you said, he didn’t. “look, you really don’t want to get me mad, i’m having a bad week already.”

“what’re you gonna do, hit me?”

“of course not,” you smiled sweetly and stared him down. you then gripped his arm, pulled it off you, turned around and kneed him right in the balls. you gripped his collar again and made him look up at you while he crouched down. you punched the side of his face then walked away. after about four steps you remembered something and walked back. you finished your whiskey then left a fifty on the counter, making eye contact with the bartender so she knew you were leaving.

“i’m going off grid garth, i need to look for dean,” you told him through the phone as you drove to rufus’ cabin nearby. “if you need to contact me i’m only keeping this phone charged.”

“okay,” he sighed. “just let me know if you need any help ever, okay? don’t hesitate to call.”

“thank you garth,” you replied. “you’ve been great these past months. i’ll let you know when i get him back.” you then both hung up.

dean wrapped his arms around you and made eye contact with you through the mirror in front of you.

“you’re so pretty,” he smiled tiredly and kissed your collarbone. “so fuckin’ pretty.”

you stood in the bathroom in a bra and panties as you tried to keep brushing your teeth.

“can we go to bed already?” he whined. you bent over and spit out the toothpaste, dean groaning when your butt brushed against him. “oh come on sweetheart.”

“yeah let’s head to bed,” you leaned against his back as his grip around you tightened.

“i love you so much, you know that?” he mumbled against your neck.

“i know,” you smiled. “i love you so much, too. do you know that?”

“yeah,” he kissed you again.

“c’mon let’s head to bed,” you turned to go but he stopped you.

“wait,” he picked up the polaroid from the bathroom counter and handed it to you. you both smiled at the mirror and you took the picture; his arms wrapped around your belly and his chin on your shoulder. “okay, let’s go.” he smiled and you put the camera down.

you weren’t sure how the polaroid ended up at the cabin, but you assumed it had been in dean’s wallet when he broke his leg and the four of you had to stay here for a while.

one year. it was actually the one year anniversary of the day you watched an exploding dick make dean and cas vanish. you still remember how you had stepped forward to help them and sam had pulled you back, muttering something about it not being safe. you hadn’t seen sam since but you understood why; seeing him only reminded you of dean, so you assumed him seeing you reminded him about his brother.

“i don’t understand the point of this,” cas furrowed his brows and stared at the camera.

“memories, cas; don’t you wanna have pictures to look back on years from now?” you smiled back.

“i have a perfect memory, i don’t need pictures,” he replied.

“of course you do,” you rolled your eyes playfully with a laugh. “point is; you look at the camera and smile.”

“of course,” he nodded, still not fully understanding the point.

you finished setting up the camera on the bookshelf which you were using as a makeshift tripod and set the timer. you posed with castiel; your left arm around his torso and his right draped over your shoulder. the flash went off, indicating the picture had been taken.

“all done! when sam and dean get back with the food, we can take a couple more.”

“hey garth, everything okay?” you answered the phone.

“yeah, i just got a weird call from sam asking where you were - i didn’t give him your exact location just said you were at a cabin of rufus’ and gave him your number, that okay?”

“yeah, that’s fine garth thank you.”

“what the fuck, sammy!” you shouted when you heard him come bursting through the door. you got off the couch and hurried to the other room. “you could’ve fucking knocked!” you stopped in your tracks. there he was; dean winchester. “dean?”

“y/n?”

“are you a leviathan?”

“no, are you?”

“no, but neither of us can be sure, right?”

“right.”

“borax is under the sink.”

“holy water?”

“there’s a devil’s trap above you.”

you both paused for a second before he stepped out of said trap then you ran towards him and embraced him.

“god i missed you,” you exclaimed.

“i missed you too,” he replied, hugging you tightly. “as much as i don’t want to stop holding you, we really should run through the usual tests, sweetheart.”

“right, right,” you stepped back. “uh devil’s trap,” you said as you walked under it then back out. “borax,” you continued and walked over to the sink then poured some on your hand, closed the bottle, and tossed it to dean before he poured some on himself. “this is pure silver,” you handed him your knife then he handed you his. you both drew blood with the silver knife then dropped them and went back to hugging.

“don’t you ever do that again,” you mumbled into his chest. “you die again i’m gonna fucking murder you, you hear me?”

“yeah i hear you,” he laughed quietly against the crown of your head. “you didn’t spend this whole year alone, did you?”

“no; i spent nine months buried in cases, working on your case the whole time then..” you trailed off a little and looked up at him. “i kissed a guy that looked like you, hated it, and isolated myself in here so i could spend more time trying to get you out of purgatory.”

“you kissed a guy that looked like me?” he smirked a little.

“i also kicked him in the balls and punched his face,” you replied, smiling widely.

“that’s my girl,” he bent down and kissed you.