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the-iceni-bitch · 4 months

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Mɪss Aᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴᴀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ Hᴇᴀʀᴛʙʀᴇᴀᴋ Pʀɪɴᴄᴇ

Relationship: professional tight end!Ari Levinson x pop superstar!fem reader

Words: ~3.7k

Summary: You and Ari bring in the holiday season with your own special celebration.

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (m receiving oral sex, f receiving oral sex, daddy kink, unprotected p in v sex, dumbification, multiple orgasms) celebrity lifestyle, America’s sweethearts, 6’7” Ari. SMUT!! 18+ ONLY!!!

A/N: an early Christmas gift for all you lovelies!! I think it’s painfully obvious what this fic was inspired by and I’m not even a little embarrassed about it. They’re too cute!

I am no longer doing taglists so if you want to stay up to date on all my latest fics, follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library and turn on notifications!

You waved exuberantly to the crowd as your float rolled past them, the cold autumn sunlight filtering through the skyscrapers and making the sequins all over your dress sparkle. It was absolutely freezing, but you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling like an idiot. Not only had your tour ended up being even more successful than you had ever thought it could be, you finally got to realize your dream of singing in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Of course, there was something else that had you smiling like an idiot for the past few months. As soon as you got close to the parade’s end at 34th Street you could see him in the stands, holding what may have been the most adorable homemade sign you had ever seen while surrounded by a bunch of screaming tween girls. He was easy to spot since he was six feet seven inches, which made it even cuter each time he had to bend down to answer one of their questions until they all started squealing. Ari was your big, burly, all American man but also perhaps the softest teddy bear on the planet.

When they all saw you they started screaming, and you beamed back at them, laughing when Ari lifted a little girl onto his shoulders so she could see better. Yeah, he was too cute for you, everything the man did made your ovaries flutter. It was hard not to just give him moony eyes all through your performance, but you managed to share your attention with the other fans as you sang your new Christmas song. Your cheeks hurt from smiling so much once you were finished performing, like they did every time you saw your beefcake of a man.

Backstage was a zoo but when was it not. Assistants flurried around you as they helped you out of your intricate costume. By the time a large, warm hand slid around your waist you were down to nothing but your bra and some leggings. It’s not like Ari cared about that, though.

“Hey princess.” Ari beamed when you squeaked before turning around to look up at him. “You were amazing.”

“Staaaaaaaahp…” you giggled when he bent down to kiss the tip of your nose, batting your hands at his chest when he teased his hands under the hooks of your bra. “Ari! We only have a few minutes before we have to go to your game, I don’t want your teammates teasing you about being whipped by your superstar girlfriend again.”

“Baby, if I minded their teasing I wouldn’t be dating you.” He kissed your nose once more before pulling your sweater over your head. “There, ready to go in record time.”

“Ari… Ari!” You shrieked with laughter when he flung you over his shoulder and slapped your ass a few times, your face heating up as he got closer to the doors and outside where you knew a pack of paparazzi were waiting to catch the two of you. “Ari!!!”

“Calm down, princess.” He dropped you to the ground and kissed you so deeply you couldn’t breathe for a second, then opened the doors and led you outside with your hand in his even though you were blinking and stumbling like a newborn baby deer. “I feel like they would have thought it was cute.”

“Maybe.” You waved at a few of the paps and made sure they got a good shot of you kissing Ari’s cheek before stepping into the limo. “They do seem to enjoy how much bigger than me you are.”

“Do they now?” Ari pulled you into his lap and started pressing kisses all over your face. “I also enjoy it an incredible amount.”

“Yeah, I bet you do, teddy bear.” You giggled when he leaned back and his face was covered in glitter. “Oh, I think your teammates are still gonna tease you…”

“What? Why?” Ari furrowed his brow until you held up a compact so he could see himself. “Yeah they might.”

“My poor teddy bear.” You pouted and wiggled a little bit in his lap before you began to slide down to the floor between his legs. “How can I ever make it up to you?”

“Yeah, princess, I’m not sure getting glitter all over my dick is gonna keep them from teasing me… ow!” He guffawed when you pinched his thigh before starting to drag his zipper down. “But whatever, I don’t care.”

You hummed in agreement before pulling his thick cock out of his pants and licking a heavy stripe up the underside of his shaft, keeping your eyes fixed on his when you wrapped your lips around his tip and sucked softly. Ari groaned when you swirled your tongue around him, cupping your cheek gently for just a few seconds before curling it around your throat. The sensation of his fingers pressing against your carotid was one you welcomed, your eyes fluttering closed as you started bobbing your head up and down.

Every time you gave him head you marveled at just how huge he was; how he towered over you when you were on your knees; how your jaw ached as you stretched it as wide as you could; how even after so many months you still sometimes had to fight the urge to heave when he slid down your throat. His grip on your throat tightened as you started gagging around him, guttural grunts and murmurs falling from his lips as your drool slid down his shaft until it was covering his balls. Ari’s face was getting flushed as you kept going, and when he leaned forward and braced his massive thighs on either side of your shoulders you could have fainted.

His free hand gripped the edge of the seat until his knuckles turned white when you brought your own hand up to fondle his balls, his gaze intense and full of affection as his thumb stroked your throat. He throbbed and twitched in your mouth as you brought him closer and closer, the taste of his precum coating your tongue before you swallowed him to the root again. You whimpered when he swelled even larger, your eyes beginning to water as you breathed deeply through your nose and gulped around his massive cock.

When he finally came down your throat you sighed, watching his face screw up and then relax as he let out a primal groan. Ari looked so good when he came, the way every muscle in his body would tense up for just a few moments before he would sag and breathe easily as he gazed at you with a sense of possession. You made sure to keep your lips wrapped tightly around his cock as he started to pull out, slurping up every drop of his cum until he slid out of your mouth with a pop.

“Not a spot of glitter on your dick, teddy bear.” You beamed at him as you licked your lips clean, purring when he cupped your chin lovingly.

“No, just all over my pants.” Ari couldn’t help but laugh about it, especially when you spluttered and tried to wipe it off but only made it worse. “Princess, it's fine. No ones going to notice.”

“They have flashbulbs, Ari!” You whined when he tucked himself back in and pulled you up to sit next to him. “Oh my god…”

You didn’t have any more time to worry before the limo came to a stop, squeaking and feeling yourself getting hot again as Ari helped you out of the limo. Thank goodness the man practically ran as he led you towards the team entrance, not giving the press a chance to pick up the sparkly evidence of you fellating him that was all over his pants. Even though he had to go warm up he still took a minute to say goodbye to you, kissing you several times before heading to the locker room while you waved adorably.

He was definitely falling head over heels for you, and he didn’t even care who knew it. There was definitely an unbelievable amount of teasing in regards to the glitter on his crotch and in his beard, but it was good hearted. All of his teammates could tell how happy he was, so even the barbs about him being a kept man for the rest of his life were filled with that sort of friendly affection that old friends shared.

There was also the fact that he seemed to play exponentially better whenever you were in the stands. Analysts were quick to point out that whenever you were watching him play he tended to double his receiving yards, it even became a little joke among the sports commentators. What could he say, he liked to show off for his girl. As soon as he ran onto the field with the rest of the team and saw you cheering on the Jumbotron he felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest.

The trend continued. Maybe it was because every time he caught a pass or made a touchdown he could look up and see you screaming your adorable head off on the Jumbotron, but he managed to set a new personal record for receiving yards. Over a hundred yards by the fourth quarter as well as two touchdowns, and he could tell you were proud by the way you were jumping up and down in the box. Yes, he was extremely tired and extremely sore after so much effort, but the smile on your face made it more than worth it.

Ari couldn’t shower and get dressed fast enough. He definitely got some exasperated looks from the rest of the team when he left them to give all the post-game interviews, but it was hard to care when he knew you were waiting for him. As soon as he stepped out of the locker room you were right there, squealing happily and telling him how amazing he was while he lifted you off your feet to kiss you like a fiend. It was hard to control himself around you, but he managed to keep from feeling you up as you made your way to his car.

He couldn’t keep from feeling you up once you were in the Impala though. Every time he came to a light his hand was on your thigh or your waist, and when he heard your tiny little sighs he growled in response. You were starting to squirm in your seat too, and he knew exactly what that meant.

“Tell me how wet you are, princess.” Ari tucked his bottom lip between his teeth and toyed with the hem of your skirt while he waited for the light to change. “C’mon baby girl, I’ve been waiting all day.”

“Teddy bear…” you squeaked when he pinched the inside of your thigh and felt your face starting to get hot again. “Sorry, Daddy. I’m so wet, Daddy, my panties are sticky.”

“Yeah, I bet they fucking are.” He grumbled when the light changed and he had to focus on the road again. “Show me.”

“Yes Daddy.” Your heart was pounding in your ears as you slid your panties down your legs and hung them from the rear view mirror, wiggling even more when the air cooled the wetness that was between your legs.

It took all his restraint not to reach out and press them against his face. Yeah, he would have crashed the car, but dying with your scent filling his lungs was the way he wanted to go. He stopped himself just in time, though he did suddenly find himself speeding through traffic faster than the law allowed. When he finally pulled into the hotel’s garage he dragged you after him and lifted you to wrap your legs around his waist, leaving your panties dangling from the mirror without thought.

“Fuck, I need you real fucking bad, princess.” Ari’s lips vibrated against yours as he growled with lust. “I haven’t had your pussy in almost thirty-six hours, it’s killing me.”

“I know, I don’t like it either, Daddy.” You wound your arms around his neck as he carried you to the elevator. “Feel so empty without you.”

“I know, and it’s a damn crime.” He nipped at your chin as the elevator rose to your floor, grateful that no other guests decided to join you as he was pretty sure your ass was hanging out of your skirt. “My poor baby girl.”

You could only moan in agreement when the elevator arrived at your floor, giggling when Ari poked his head out first to make sure there was nobody in the hall before he started towards your room. While he worked on the door you nibbled on his ear, writhing against him and whining until you were in the room and he threw you onto the bed. Ari grinned at you as he ripped his shirt off and undid his pants, giving you a few mischievous growls and barks before pouncing on you.

Even when he was domming you he was still so soft and sweet, calling you his good girl and pretty princess while he kissed your neck and peeled your clothes off your body. The way he looked at you once you were naked made everything below your waist clench, especially when he growled at you like a hungry bear who was going to eat you alive. Then he leaned down to pull your legs over his shoulders and do just that.

“Daddy! Oh god…” Ari just grunted against you in response as he ran his tongue all over your pussy until you felt dizzy. “Mmm, ‘s so good.”

Ari knew it was good, he fucking loved making you turn into a panting, whimpering mess with your eyes rolled back in your head. It made him feel like a god. Those cute little noises and the way your thighs squeezed his head while he drank his fill from your cunt made him purr like a jungle cat. You were so sweet and so creamy, and the way your little pussy would pulse against his lips made his cock get so painfully hard he had to start grinding it against the bed.

His tongue parted your pussy lips so he could push it inside you and you had to kick your feet so you didn’t lose it completely. They thumped against his back as he started to gently fuck you with his mouth, your breathing starting to get heavier and heavier as every muscle in your body grew tight. Every single time he ate you out he managed to bring you to the edge so fast it was unbelievable, and tonight was no different. You were trembling underneath him, your eyes already starting to flutter and your toes curling while his beard rubbed your sensitive folds raw.

When he pulled his tongue out of you and started sucking on your clit that was it for you. You sobbed his name and arched off the bed as you gushed sweet juices all over his face. He reached his hands up to massage your breasts and that just made it more intense, tears rolling down your face and your fingers yanking on his hair while he kept sucking and squeezing until you couldn’t breathe.

“That’s my good girl.” Ari was grinning like the Cheshire Cat as he sat up between your quivering legs. “Fuck, you look so fucking pretty after you come, princess. You think you’re ready for Daddy’s big dick, honey?”

“Mmhm.” You licked your lips and gave up trying to catch your breath when he yanked his pants down and kicked them away so you could finally see him in all his naked glory. “Want it so bad, Daddy.”

“Daddy knows, princess.” He moved slowly as he crawled on top of you, his massive body completely covering yours and making your pussy start throbbing even harder. “You just relax and let Daddy take care of you, baby girl.”

You nodded and drew in a shuddering breath when he reached between the two of you to start rubbing your clit as he lined himself up. Ari hooked your knees over his hips to keep you wide open for him, his eyes fixed on your face for any sign of pain or discomfort as he started to push inside you. Even though he wanted to just drive his cock deep and fuck your brains out, he was painfully aware of your size difference and if he ever hurt you he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. He could tell you were just as hungry for him, beaming at you when your hands clawed at his massive biceps when he finally got halfway in.

It felt like it took an hour, but when his hips finally met the soft flesh of your thighs you moaned and wiggled happily underneath him. Your body was slick with sweat and glowing, and he’d never seen anything more beautiful. Ari gripped your hands and pinned them above your head as he started to move, his lips ghosting against your throat when you whimpered at the feeling of his cock stretching you so wide it burned. You loved it, though, murmuring nonsense words of encouragement under your breath and locking your ankles at the small of his back.

When Ari really started to move you almost fainted, arching your body to meet his and whimpering when he sucked on your ear. He had hardly even gotten going before you were moaning and whining in his ear, your body spasming underneath him as you came for the second time and felt your muscles turning to jelly. Your pussy was so slick that Ari couldn’t stop himself from starting to slam into you, not that you minded. His breath was hot as he grunted against the sensitive skin of your throat, his lips and teeth leaving a trail of bruises in their wake while he shoved his cock so deep inside you you could swear you saw god.

Even though he had well and truly fucked you stupid he couldn’t stop murmuring sweet praises for you under his breath. Every ‘good girl’ or ‘pretty baby’ just made you slip further and further into the rosy haze of multiple orgasms as he wrung another one out of you. At some point he had rolled the two of you so your were laying on top of him, but it’s not like you could actually ride him in your fucked out state. So Ari was just holding your waist and moving you up and down on his cock like his own personal cocksleeve, grinning up at you the whole time and telling you how good and tight your pussy felt while you whined and drooled all over yourself.

“C’mon baby girl, you want it?” The teasing tone of his voice was still full of affection when you hiccuped as he fucked yet another intense orgasm out of your body. “Daddy needs to hear his princess say she wants his cum or I’m just gonna end up fucking you all night, and I’m not sure you could handle that, baby.”

“Mm-mm… Daddy…” you couldn’t even hold yourself up anymore, crying softly as you rested your face in the crook of his shoulder as he continued to drive up into you. “Please come inside my pussy, please. I want it, Daddy.”

“That’s my good girl.” Ari kissed the top of your head and gave a lewd grind of his hips, chuckling into your hair when you shuddered with another climax. “Can’t say no to you, princess.”

Your eyes fluttered closed when you felt him swell and throb inside you, a low whine escaping from you when you felt the first hot, sticky spurt of his seed shooting inside your pussy. Ari held you close as he filled you to the brim, his big hands rubbing your hips while his body rolled under yours and he let out one of those yummy groans he always made when he got to come inside you. When you finally came to you were still on top of him, only barely able to lift your head and beaming at the sight of his face flushed red as he struggled to come back down.

“Hiiiiiii teddy.” You scrunched up your face adorably when he grinned at you and kissed your forehead. “I’d say that was a pretty good way to kick off the holiday season.”

“I’m gonna have to agree with you there, princess.” His thick fingers trailed along the curve of your spine and you felt like you could fall asleep just like that. “Definitely gonna have to keep it up. Speaking of holidays, though, I may have gotten you an early present, since we’re gonna be apart next week.”

“A present? Ari!” You squeaked and giggled when he reached towards the nightstand without letting you climb off him, shivering when the change in position made him rub right against your over sensitive clit. “That still gives you three weeks until Christmas, silly.”

“Well fuck me for wanting to spoil my girl.” He kissed all over your face and pulled out a small velvet box. “I know how much you like statement jewelry, so I figured the statement for this one could be just how smitten you are with your beefy football player boyfriend.”

“Ari… oh my god!” You sat up so fast when he opened the box you almost fell off him, grinning like an idiot when he caught you at the last second and steadied you while he showed you the ring. “It’s so big and sparkly!”

The moonstone in the ring was at least fifteen karats, and surrounding the center stone was a chain of labradorite that glittered under the low lights in the hotel room. As soon as he placed it on your right ring finger you leaned forward and wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing his face over and over and squealing with happiness.

“Everyone is gonna think we’re getting married now, teddy bear.” You rested your head against his chest once you made sure every inch of his face had been kissed at least once.

“Well, not quite yet, princess.” Like he hadn’t known the moment you said yes to a second date with him that he was going to marry you.

#natalie writes #holiday fic #ari levinson #football player!ari levinson #popstar fem!reader #ari levinson x reader #ari levinson x you #ari levinson x female reader #ari levinson x y/n #ari levinson smut #female reader #chris evans #chris evans character x reader #chris evans characters #chris evans smut #chris evans character #swiftie coded #miss americana and the heartbreak prince

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oneinathousand · 2 years

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It feels so weird whenever one of my older text posts suddenly get a bunch of new notes, I’m flattered but at the same time it feels a little odd cause I haven’t really done a whole lot on this blog recently. But still, thank you!

#both my superstar limo banishment and nightmare before Christmas as my immortal posts have gotten a bunch of new notes at the same time #and from different audiences too #what a weird coincidence

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dazeddoodles · 7 months

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love your art it's so cute. if you don't mind me asking do you have any headcanons for raine being in the human world? they my favoirte and i just like characters figure out a world that isn't their own

Thank you!

I like to think that, until the break up, Raine has been visiting the human world with Eda since they were teenagers.

Eda didn't want to tell Lilith about the portal she found (partially because at this point they started drifting apart, and partially because she knows Lilith would snitch on her) so she tells Raine about it.

I imagine she would have visited the human world by herself before telling Raine so she shows them all the cool stuff like amusement parks (that they'd sneak into) and arcades (since it probably would have been the 90's when they were teenagers). And as adults they sometimes go on dates in the human world.

I actually have a specific headcanon that Eda used to look up (like in newspapers or something) the worst rated amusement parks/rides, being too unsafe/scary, for her and Raine to go on. (The kinda thing you'd see on Defunctland, think Action Park). Same with going to see movies that parents hate.

Although alot of the time they go on a low rated ride before it closes, only to find out it wasn't low rated because it was too dangerous, but because the rides just sucks (think Superstar Limo).

Although Raine might get weird stares by humans for their natural hair colour (I'm not sure how socially accepted people dying their hair unnatural colours was back then compared to now), and have no idea which bathroom to use since most humans places only have men and women. They have to go in the BI before they leave smh.

#asks #raine whispers #eda clawthorne #raeda

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iwishpauldanowasreal · 9 months

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Superstar - Greg Hirsch x Reader

1.3k - Author’s note: I love Greg, So I just had to write this. Also I might write a second one if this gets activity. :) enjoy

“Wait I have to piss first, wait for me outside” Tom slightly clapped his hands in front of Greg to scare him. Tom was satisfied enough when Greg slightly jumped in his chair and awkwardly laughed it off. “Of course! I see you out there then” Greg started to stand but Tom was already gone paying Greg no mind.

Greg thanked the doorman then finding himself outside of the some 5 star restaurant that he couldn’t pronounce but Tom insisted they had the best steak or lamb. To say the least Greg never ate lamb before and thought it was just fine. He began to look over to see Tom’s fancy limo about to step in trying to get away from outside. He heard your voice call to him.

“Greg?”

There you were standing in the middle of the street. Greg was going to avoid any person that called out his name, he learned that lesson from Roman. Never look in the way of people calling your name, they just want your attention or some lousy photo. But it was you. He could never forget your voice.

To be fair it has been a while since he heard it. Back in college when you two were best friends. Everyone knew you guys as close but never was told the secret kisses two of you would share. The little touches only he would get. To the simple eye, it was a shoulder touch but to him it was to meet you later to make out in a empty hallway.

“Y/n!”

Greg quickly ran over to you. You saw his little run to you. He always carried himself a little differently being so tall. “Wow! I haven’t seen you in so long” You rolled your eyes playfully. “Yeah! What the hell, you avoided my texts and never replied” Greg forgot to mention that. After graduation Greg had a hard time finding a job while everyone else around him did. Even though he remembered how excited you were to start a job a few states away to become an editor. But he was embarrassed, practically living out of his car for a few months. He decided to avoid it all and just stopped talking to all his friends. Even you, which he didn’t think about until the moment you hit his shoulder. How did that affect you? Losing your best friend.

Greg’s face quickly went flat and you recognized that look from Greg being in his head. Quickly putting a stop to it. “Greg, Don’t worry. I’ve missed you” You took his shoulders and shook them a bit. Greg finally looked up at you and smiled.

You couldn’t help but smile with him and laugh a bit. Same old Greg. You took a step back to get a full look at him with his outfit and shoes. “What’s up with you Mr Fancy. Your hair is so short. Oh My” You teased

Greg always had his hair pretty shaggy and long. Now looking at him was a totally different person. The suit threw you off when you first spotted him. Greg would wear lame outfits and definitely go more comfort than fashion but now? He looked like a suitor who owns a huge company. “Yeah! It’s very cool! I have to put special stuff in my hair now, or else it won’t look right” He cheesed at you. He was clearly blushing, putting small piece hair behind his ear.

“You look good Greg” He paused for a second. His heart was slightly beating faster and he let out another nervous laugh. “What about you! You’re editing, Why are you in New York. Wasn’t your job in.. “

He predicts to think about it hoping you cut him off. You wait for him to notice you aren’t taking his bullshit.

“Um”

“Jersey”

“Jersey!!” He nodded his head. You couldn’t help but laugh at the cute way Greg got nervous. He was slightly rocking back and forth. “I quit that job one month in, I think. It was-“ There was suddenly a yell that came out behind Greg. “Greg!!” There stood another tall man in a suit just like Greg’s and waved a gesting wave to get in the car. Greg’s eyes widened which y/n noticed immediately.

“I’ve got to go. '' He deflated. You just couldn’t help but hug Greg. If there was one thing you missed about Greg it was most definitely his hugs, And boy did he deliver. He squeezes you tightly and slightly lifts you up in the most subtle and gentle way. You sighed softly as you pulled away. You debated in your head a little thinking of going headstrong with Greg.

Before you fully pulled away you kissed his cheek before smiling at him sweetly. “Text me?” He stood there in disbelief. Just hugging you for that one second would have made his entire week. But also a light kiss? “Of course!” He nodded as you started to walk but in the coffee shop you were in earlier. He started to walk back but he couldn’t help himself but look back at you.

“Who’s that?” Greg had hopped back into the limo and Tom quickly jumped on him with questions. “That hug looked intense. Tell me Greg who is she” Tom suddenly interested in Greg’s love life, or his life in general. “What are you talking about. She’s just a friend in college” Tom suddenly gasped and turned his whole attention towards Greg. “You dog!”

Greg was red in the face and stuttered to say sometime to defend himself. “Did you guys sleep together?” Greg quickly shook his head. “No! I- No.” Tom suddenly did a read on Greg’s face and how it looked like a kicked puppy. “But you wanted to,” Greg just sighed heavily and looked away. “I mean, Yes. She’s beautiful” Tom leaned back suddenly getting bored, that wasn’t the reaction he wanted.

“She is beautiful, I’ll give her that. But she isn’t anything” Tom just shrugged then suddenly pulled out his phone. “What do you mean?” Tom didn’t look up at Greg and was just texting who Greg assumed was Shiv. “She doesn't look rich or anything. That outfit“ Tom rolled his eyes and put his phone back into his suit pocket. “You can’t gain anything from her”

Greg was pacing around his coffee table looking down at his phone. He just got off and was wondering if he should text her this late at night. “Shit” He yelped randomly and picked up his phone and began to text. “Hey. This is Greg, I was wondering if we can get coffee tomorrow morning at 9am” He quickly hit send and threw his phone.

Y/n just got out of the shower when you heard your phone go off. You smirked when you looked at your phone. It was an old photo of Greg. He was wearing a winter hat, and just looked perfect. One of his friends took the photo after you guys went out bar diving during winter break and decided at the last minute to have a snowball fight.

Sitting down on your bed getting distracted by looking at old photos of Greg. He was your favorite. Everyone in the study group knew that you guys were stuck side by side. Your favorite part of the day is when class was over and you went to your dorm which Greg was always in. Luckily your roommate was gone most of the time, but the image of him passing out on your bed made you so soft. You would stare at him all day, you would either sneak photos or lean in super close and touch his hair and hear him breath.

Luckily he never caught you, because explaining why you liked to watch him sleep was something you couldn’t do

#greg hirsch x reader #greg hirsch #succession x reader

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disneyparksattractionstournament · 5 months

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Extinct Disney Parks and Attractions tournament round 1: Group A2

Reminder, you don't have had to experience any of the attractions/experiences to vote! Just read in the info and/or watch the vid,then vote for which you wish you would have experienced more/which sounds cooler!

Videos and propaganda/info dumping under cut

Superstar Limo: California Adventure (2001-2002)

Propaganda:

"I’m obsessed with this ride. The actual concept for a dark ride where you’re outrunning the paparazzi got canned when Princess Diana died (seriously), so they panicked and slapped together the worlds worst, cheapest looking ride full of inside jokes that you’ll only get if you live in LA. There’s a commercial for California Adventure where some actors go on it, and have to pretend it was a good ride. What a snapshot in time."

youtube

Here is that promo the person in the propaganda was talking about:

youtube

Orange Stinger: California Adventure (2001-2009)

Propaganda:

"It was the best!!!"

youtube

#disney parks #extinct disney parks attractions tournament #poll #polls #tournament poll #round 1 #retired disney #dca #california adventure #superstar limo #orange stinger #paradise pier

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silvermoon424 · 2 months

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What are your top 5 Defunctland videos?

UGH it's so hard to narrow them down! But my faves are

Disney's Fastpass

Superstar Limo

The American Idol Experience

The Orient Express (this one is special to me bc I live in KC and used to go to Worlds of Fun every single summer)

The one about Action Park

Honorable mention to the Disney Channel theme song one, because I haven't seen it yet (I'm a bad fan) and I just know it'll be top 5 once I do.

#asks #Anonymous #defunctland

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weaselandfriends · 5 months

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Web Original, Recently Witnessed

In a previous post, I mentioned some web fiction I'd recently read. This time, I'll highlight some web original content outside of the literary sphere. While I have some experience with literature, I'm completely untalented in other mediums, so my assessment of this content is no better than a layman's. However, I still thought it worth highlighting.

1. Journey to EPCOT Center: A Symphonic History by Kevin Perjurer (Defunctland)

Perjurer has been putting out excellent documentary-style content on theme parks and their rides for years now, but while his production quality is consistently high, his videos often live or die based on the core level of interest his subject engenders. For instance, his video on notoriously awful ride Superstar Limo (with a general focus on notoriously awful theme park California Adventure) is an incredible watch, while his video on a random assortment of small, local Santa Claus theme parks across America isn't quite so compelling. He's no Jon Bois (of 17776 fame), a documentarian capable of rendering extraordinary seemingly the most banal of subjects.

Journey to EPCOT Center, however, is unlike anything Perjurer has ever put out before. It completely eschews Perjurer's typical voiceover narration style of documentary, instead stitching together music, audio of news reports and press releases, and dramatizations of Disney boardroom meetings to create a seamless narrative. Beyond the unique style and presentation of the piece, however, is the incredible artistry on display in several of the segments. Some of the biggest highlights:

12:00 to 16:14: A neon light animation detailing the vision and plan of EPCOT, which gradually transforms into a 3D map that the camera travels through

16:52 to 21:03: An impressively animated series of newspaper articles detailing Disney's struggles finding signatories for its world showcase; the video comments indicate some shots of the moving newspapers were created practically, with Lego conveyer belts

38:46 to 44:27: A puppet show dramatizing Disney's efforts to seek international sponsors

There are numerous other impressive, inventive, and creative segments as well, with unique animation and visual styles. The video rarely repeats the same trick twice.

The funniest part is that all of this is in service to a topic I would personally consider quite boring. EPCOT is such a Disney-buffs-only type of subject, neither Disney's greatest success nor its greatest failure. The incredible skill on display is all aimed toward depicting a fairly corporate, backroom-style story about men in suits trying to secure handshakes. There's an almost propagandistic feel to it, an extolling of capitalist bigwigs that feels completely at odds with Perjurer's visionary style.

In a way, it's reminiscent of United Passions, a FIFA propaganda film meant to make its executives look good in the wake of real-life controversy. On the other hand, though, Perjurer's exceedingly loving depiction is appropriate for Walt Disney's final passion project, Disney himself being a man who, for better or for worse, was as much of a dreamer and visionary as he was a cutthroat businessman. EPCOT, as the video tells you, was designed as an optimistic reaffirmation of the American free enterprise project, and as a complement to that vision Perjurer's video could not be more accurate. Unlike United Passions, this video was also made independently, not financed by Disney to make itself look good in the eyes of the public. Metatextually, it poses a fascinating question: Is there value to corporate art? Can a corporation create something of true beauty? Perjurer's video suggests it can.

2. The Mind Electric Animation - Lonely-Man's Lazarus by Daisy

Perjurer is probably familiar to many of my readers, so this next entry is more obscure, something I stumbled on almost by chance.

A friend of mine is big into animatics, which as far as YouTube is concerned is about setting music (usually Broadway or Disney musical numbers) to sketchy, storyboard-style art. I'm not a major Broadway fan in general, so these have never appealed to me much, although I've been shown several.

This one, though, rather generically titled "The Mind Electric Animation" (after the song it features), caught me entirely off guard. The first notable element is that the animation is monstrously more fluid than a typical animatic, though it retains the sketchy/storyboard art style and traditional animatic sensibilities toward character design (very "Tumblr," if I had to put a word on it). Secondly, the music, rather than being from Hamilton or Heathers or some other popular musical, is from the itself rather arcane album Hawaii: Part II by Joe Hawley (under the name ミラクルミュージカル). Hawaii: Part II is, as far as I can tell, a concept album detailing the story of a man who goes insane after his girlfriend is murdered (possibly by himself), with a strange secondary subtext of possibly being metaphorical for the 9/11 terrorist attacks. The lyrics are certainly open to interpretation.

The animatic combines these elements with heavy inspiration from a different concept album, potentially the most famous one ever made: Pink Floyd's The Wall, with specific nods to the film adaptation's animations for The Trial and Empty Spaces. There is no skimping on detail, with some sequences absolutely bursting with bizarre visuals. The ultimate result is absolutely trippy, abstract, and surreal, which are some of my favorite things for something to be.

Regardless, it's an impressive work of animation for a single person to make; the video description states it took 15 months, which is more time than I've spent on any one of even my longest works. The creator themselves is somewhat enigmatic from what I could tell, despite having a whole host of social media platforms. They seem to be working on a web comic, but trying to find any concrete information on what it is actually about was difficult. Nonetheless, whoever made this certainly has an abundance of creative vision and talent. Though I've seen skilled artists sit down to create something narrative before and flub it utterly (an example that comes to mind is Ava's Demon), so who knows if what is on display in this animation will make it into that web comic. Even if it doesn't, the animation by itself is incredible, so check it out.

3. The Skibidi Toilet podcast guys are for real by Mikhail Klimentov / Built By Gamers in general

Built By Gamers has been on my radar for some time (ever since seeing this video) as an absolute masterclass of performance art. The voice, the emphasis, the little oddities here and there, the way the two hosts so often ignore direct questions posed by one another, it creates something inimitably uncanny. This interview by Mikhail Klimentov, who I am familiar with primarily through his esports journalism, only adds new layers to what was already a convoluted question of irony and sincerity.

There are a few concrete insights, most shockingly to me that the creators of Built By Gamers (Todd Searle and Peter Armendariz) got their start in esports. But despite the title that seems to clearly suggest their videos are sincere, the actual interview is far less conclusive. For instance, this exchange:

It's evident to me that you guys take this very seriously. You feel as though there's a lot of craft behind these videos. Tell me about the stuff that a viewer won't see: the behind-the-scenes stuff that you're thinking about as you're working on these videos. Armendariz: A lot of people think it's ChatGPT. That's a big thing that people think that we do. But a lot of it is actually well crafted, through hours — like we'll spend hours on one script and really thinking about how we can get someone to react. It doesn't matter if it's them laughing, if it's them feeling sad, or them hating on one of us, our main goal in our videos is to get someone to feel something. The hard truth is that people don't realize how many hours we spend on one video to get that one line. I think that's what people don't really understand. We’ll spend like two hours on one line. Searle: Our tone, like how we talk — it’s on purpose. I have to get into character for it. Armendariz: Todd has a voice, bro! He didn't think he'd be good at telling stories, and I have him tell every single story because he has this campfire story voice. And sometimes he'll hit a line and I'm like, “No, no, you’ve got to hit it harder.” And we'll spend like 30 minutes trying to hit the line, or hitting the hook just the right way.

Followed immediately by:

People really don't know what to make of you guys. They don't have a sense of whether you're serious, whether you're in on the joke, whether there's a joke at all. I'm curious if you can clear that up. Searle: We want it to be everything you just said. We want people to think we're serious. We want camps of people who don't think we're serious. People who think that we're A.I. We kind of want to keep it, I guess, vague in that regard. Like we want you to believe… what we are — and that's OK. Armendariz: I think sometimes we'll play into different communities. So, like, some people will say, ‘You guys sound like you got brain surgery.’ So then we’ll make the most cringey video that's like super brain-rot, you know? We just kind of mess around and have fun.

So are they just messing around and having fun, or are they spending hours trying to nail specific lines just right? Are they sincerely trying to tell a story that gets an emotional reaction or are they just trolling, which also gets an emotional reaction? The biggest troll of the interview, targeted specifically at me, was this response:

Can you tell me what those writing principles are? Armendariz: I think a big writing principle that everyone should follow is, it's really important to show, don't tell.

People who have talked to me elsewhere know I am a massive enthusiast of the ubiquitous Mr. Beast, not necessarily because I like his content (though I do think he puts together some strong game show/Wipeout-style videos), but because of the story behind him: That he is an extreme, almost insufferable perfectionist, who analyzes video success and failure to a scientific degree, doing experiments with thumbnails, video lengths, et cetera, all to take detailed assessments of the results and perfectly calibrate his videos in mathematical fashion. It's a type of rigor that flies in the face of the casual, wastefully generous persona he cultivates in his videos proper.

I think many people have this innate idea that a work of art's quality is somehow tied to the effort expended to produce it. (Even I have it. Notice how for both of the first two entries in this post I mention the effort or time or craftsmanship of the work in question.) This is the kind of sensibility that causes a layman, who knows nothing about painting, to prefer a Caravaggio to a Rothko. But this sensibility is both conceptually and often practically wrong; Rothko, for instance, engineered his own paints, creating custom blends of materials (including non-paint material, like egg) to form paints of a perfectly specific color or gloss or sheen, a process often completely unseen by a casual glance at the finished work.

Subsequently, there's a reason they're called writer's workshops, that writing is so often described as a craft: It's an attempt to imbue writing with a sense of effort that makes it more palatable. The stereotype extends to the artist who sneers at quote-unquote "low" art, thinking "If I was willing to lower myself, I could create that slop and make millions too." In my experience, though, the people creating this "low" art are often expending absurd amounts of effort and exhibiting incredible skill to create something perfectly engineered for success. I, certainly, have found zero success in attempting to broaden my own audience, even when I make attempts at it; it's not something that's easier to do if you're just willing to try.

I also increasingly fail to believe in the stereotype of the miserable cynic artist who creates something they think is garbage because they know that'll be most popular. Those people don't last long; those who succeed in the popular sphere are people who are genuinely passionate about what they create, even if it looks like dreck to everyone else (including the millions who consume it).

I've been kicking around an idea for a story about Mr. Beast for some time now, exploring these concepts in even greater depth. That won't happen in the immediate future, but it's something to look out for.

#defunctland #kevin perjurer #lonely-man's lazarus #hawaii part ii #built by gamers #mr beast #web original

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